#they just need to slow the fuxk down

[the-dreamless-void]

CLEARLY IM THE WRITER BETWEEN US CY

Yep, im the DM of this clown show and cy's just the PC. I asked him to start the roleplay, and it took nearly 10 minutes to write three fuxking sentences. Buddy i would have had three whole paragraphs and then some written in the same time.

Nope, okay, patience mir. You can do this. You asked them to start. Yes cy, im venting on tumblr. I told you i would, oh sleep well btw, love yaaa <3

Anyways, im gonna just note down our latest roleplay beginning here and add updates as we go. Fun isnt it? I hope so.

Cy: The sensation of logging into a word feels almost like waking up from a long, deep sleep on a day with nothing to get done. The gentleness of that wake, eyes opening to the slow registration of details, faint lights and shadows, impressions of colour that slowly gets more vibrant and rich as the system calibrate itself, and then, finally, sound. All of that laid on the foundation of a well rested, clear head.

'If they can somehow replicate this sensation in real life as a form of aided sleep, they'd make billions' Dew thought .

They don't need to sleep as they are now, but they still have some recollections from when they do. It wasn't common of the them then to wake up this peacefully, but the sensations are similar enough that they can imagine

Me:

Slowly rising with a sudden influx of sensations of exhaustion but pleasantly comfortable was however, not something they were used to. Strange.. Dew decided to consult with H.A.R.P.E.R on this matter and promptly spoke out loud, not that they needed to but it helped to follow familiar actions from a past long forgotten.

'Harper? What's going?'

For a brief millisecond, a small glitching error pinged through out the server before being promptly quietened. Of course, neither the bot nor the player noticed anything amiss. Compensations were quickly awarded through the system mail as an apology for the bug patches.

A distant ping rang in their ears, as an icon popped up in front of their very eyes.

Good Morning Dew~ How are you feeling today?

[swagging-back-to]

this is gonna be a heavy vent post btw

i dont normally post this much information about what i went through but im really going through it rn

tw csa, child abuse, child neglect, emotional abuse, physical abuse, sexual abuse, and adoptive abuse.

so as many of yall know, i am a hispanic southwest asian who was adopted by a white couple. you may also know that i was emotionally and financially abused by these people.

ive been very vocal about the emotional abuse they put me through and the neglect i endured because of them, how they would steal all my money and the thousand dollar check the state would send them every month to give me basic necesities. how i never saw a single penny of that check, and had to buy everything for myself since i was 5 years old by penny pinching and begging other family members for change.

ive also been vocal about being molested by my female adopter since i was a baby all the way up until i became 14-- when the molestation stopped and the sexual abuse turned more into inappropariate comments and peeping on me.

what i never really realized until this morning was that it was also physical abuse when i was a toddler. i realized, all of a sudden, that no... a 2-3yos arms do not just completely dislocate all on their own. it doesnt just happen because i tripped and fell. let alone multiple times in the same year. I saw the medicql records. it was complete dislocation that the doctors even noted on paper they were concerned about. i remembered hearing my female abuser joke about how she ripped my arm out of socket on purpose because i was going up the stairs too slow. i was literally 2 years old.

and then i remembered the burn scar i have on my hand. the one that still itches because of how severe it was. it was almost a third degree burn because my abuser put my hand on a burning propane tank whrn i was 3 years old and held it there.

i remember the incident very clearly. i also remember how they didnt take me to the hospital for 3 days, and only did because i would go to daycare and they would see the abuse & report it.

it's been a pretty intense morning remembering all of this and realizing just how bad this all was. i mean, i obviously was outraged by the neglect, csa, and emotional abuse... but it's just been very eye opening for me. how much else do i not remember? what am i forgetting? what am i blocking out? i know for a fact im probably unaware of a majority of what i went through. as very few of you know, i was diagnosed with osdd1a in 2020. my dissociation is very severe, even in day to day tasks. i dont want to know what im not remembering from childhood, especially if the stuff i *do* remember is this bad. is this horrific.

and this is exactly why we need to shut down the entire notion that fosterparents and people who adopt are "heroes" who are saving children from bad situations. a good portion of them are just as abusive, if not worse, than the childs biological family they were removed from. dont get me wrong, adopting and fostering is insurmountably better than bringing new children into the world. but it shouldnt be a way to gain clout. it should just be something good people do because children need to be protected. the vetting process for all adoptions, private and public, needs to be much more intense than just "take a parenting class and have a scheduled social services visit to see the home."

i reported my abuse to multiple health care professionals. when i was falsely imprisoned in st marys by my abusers i told them explicitly the abuse i was enduring. what happened as a result? a troubled teens monitor came and evaluated me every month to see if i needed to be locked away in the woods and abused even more and joked with my abuser abput how awful i was and how she shouldnt have to put up with me.

it's just been a lot. im so angry about all the shit i had to go through. no fuxking child deserves that. no one deserves that.

[remusslove]

Our slut ~james potter

Includes: genderfluid!reader, girl!futa, sub!James, dom!reader,threesum, dom!remus, degrading!kink, choking!kink (if you squint), slapping!kink, and aftercare

A/n: This was a request but I sadly can’t find the person who did request it :( but I really did enjoy making this</3

“Hey doll face” you said smirking as James walked towards you with an innocent smile. “Hi mommy hi remy” James said sitting on your lap with dazed eyes.

“You having fun hm?” You asked chuckling making James giggle and nod.

“Feeling funny” James giggled before laying down resting his head on your lap.

“Looks like you need to get some sleep” you said before adjusting his head allowing you to stand up from the couch.

“Nooooo wanna have fun with you and remyyy” James whined. “I know sweetheart but your way too drunk for your own good now come on” you said picking him up from the couch.

“Remy can you come too?” James asked him softly. Remus sighed nodding and taking a last sip of his whiskey. He stood up following you both up the large stair case.

A minute later you all were in yours and James’s room as James sighed contently feeling the soft blankets layed out on your guys’s bed.

“Cuddle with me you guysss” he whined before letting out a loud giggle.

“You heard him remus. Let’s cuddle” you said emphasizing the cuddle part. Remus smirked and you did too before you both laid on the bed.

You both slowly began to kiss his neck leaving many hickies causing James to gasp softly and whimper.

You chuckled unbottoning James’s autumn colored sweater. “Y-you guys I-I” James stuttered before letting out a small moan as you nipped his sweet spot beneath his jawline.

“What was that bunny?” “Use your words.”

“P-please.” James begged. “Please what babe?” You teased. “Touch me.”

Those were the only words you and Remus needed.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“F-fuck!” James moaned at your fast pace.”you wanted this bunny.” You said grabbing his hips and pulling out.

You put it in a different angle reaching deeper causing him to see stars. You hit his prostate with each thrust making him feel euphoria as he felt his brain getting foggy.

Remus groaned at the vibrations of James’s moans on his dick. Remus gripped his hair and rapidly thrusted into James’s mouth.

James gagged at Remus’s actions taking deep breaths through this nose.

“Fucking slut” you said landing a harsh smack on his ass. Remus moaned feeling James’s every sound bounce onto his cock.

“Such a fucking whore with all that dick I’m your mouth.” Remus degraded. “Just a stupid whore remy” James tried to say between Remus’s dick while looking up to the much taller boy.

James looked beautiful. His fuck me eyes filled up with tears as new tears streamed down his face, his ass jiggling because of how hard you were fucking him, and his tongue licking Remus’s length up and down like a fucking porn star waiting for Remus’s cum to shoot down his throat.

Remus smirked taking his dick out of James’s mouth letting James take a deep breath.“Come on love focus” you said grabbing a handful of his curls slapping him in the face as Remus pumped his cock feeling his high slowly coming.

James whined as your free hand sneaked to his throat choking him harshly. You groaned

“C-can’t! S-slow d-down!” James begged you though the look on his face encouraged you to continue.

“Tell me what to do again and your not cuming for a fucking month. I’m I your bitch or are you mine hm?” When he didn’t answer you landed another harsh smack to his face. “Fuxking answer me James” you said panting feeling your high coming as well.

“I-I’m your s-stupid bitch!” James yelled trying to bounce back on your dick.

“Fucking right you are. Go back to sucking Remus’s dick. I don’t remember telling you to stop you dumb slut” you said before landing a smack against his ass much harder than before.

James moaned trying to focus on sucking Remus off as you fucked his brains out. “Fucking shit I’m gonna cum” Remus moaned out as James warm lips wrapped around his cock once again.

James stopped sucking releasing Remus’s dick with a pop. James bobbed his head up and down Remus’s dick halfway jerking off the part that couldn’t fit in his mouth. That sent Remus to the edge making him let out a loud groan.

James swallowed most of Remus’s cum before releasing his cock once again allowing ropes of cum to shoot on his face.

You groaned throwing your head back at the scene. “C-can I c-come please!” James begged you. “Fine.” You said simply.

Three more thrusts sent you and James over the edge. You groaned thrusting one more time making all of your cum shoot inside his ass. “Y/n!” He screamed your name feeling his orgasm wash over him.

You grunted riding out your high as James collapsed on Remus making him chuckle. You let out a chuckle as well peppering kisses on the smallest boys face.

You slid on your boxers before going into the bathroom to get a washcloth. “You did so good for us love” Remus praised James.

You hummed in agreement walking toward them with a soft white washcloth.

“Sit up baby” you told James. He whined in dislike but sat up nonetheless. “wanna sleep” he said as you wiped the dried cum of his cheek.

“Go to sleep then princess” you said putting the cloth aside as you climbed into bed with him and Remus.

“Such a pretty boy” you praised causing him to giggle.

[csigirl3137]

Unexpected

Pairing: Hiccup Haddock x Viggo Grimborn

Word Count: 1465

Warnings: Battle, sword fight, smut, anal sex, anal fingering, orgasms, possessive Viggo, sex with the enemy,

Authors Note: I'm new to this ship, but hey I fricking love it.

Summary: A sword fight between Hiccup and Viggo takes them into the woods away from the main battle. The fight turns into something unexpected.

White hot pleasure races through Hiccup's veins, the large hand over his mouth muffling his cry as the cock inside him drags over his prostate, the man behind him shoving Hiccup back up against the rough bark in front of him with every thrust.

There's muffled clanging to the left, metal on metal, the sounds of multiple explosions off to the right. His riders were giving the hunters hell.

And what was he doing?

Well...

Hiccup is currently pinned against a tree trunk, leather pants around his knees, completely wrecked, dick rock hard and throbbing as a man he very much should not be letting fuck him but he's letting him anyways,  fucks Hiccup towards an orgasm he knows will probably exceed every single orgasm he's ever had at his own hands.

"You're going to have a very sore ride home my dear, and you'll most likely be walking funny for a couple days" Viggo's familiar deep, silky, accented voice is right by his ear, the pace at which he fucks in and out of Hiccup, increasing.

Hiccup whines softly, not wanting anyone to hear him. The hand Viggo had over his mouth is now possesively wrapped around Hiccup's throat.

The combination of the arm around his waist, the thick tree trunk in front of him, the cock in his ass, and the large hand around his throat; Hiccup is completely helpless at the hands of the hunter chief.

He couldn't escape Viggo if he wanted to.

"We shouldn't... gah... oh gods..." Hiccup's eyes roll back in his head as he tries to speak only to dissolve back into moans and whimpers as Viggo makes him see stars.

"We shouldn't what? Hmm?" Viggo waits for a response from the wrecked rider, making sure to adjust enough to sharply hit Hiccup's prostate with the next few thrusts, the boy turning to goo, moaning in response.

"Use your words dear boy." Viggo taunts in the riders ear, knowing very well Hiccup was barely able to think straight right now, let alone form words.

It takes a minute but finally Hiccup manages to speak.

"We shouldn't be doing this!" He gasps.

Viggo hums in response, his grip on Hiccup's throat tightening a little as he pulls the boy back more securely against him. He's fairly certain he already knows the response he'll recieve, especially as he slows his thrusts.

The young green eyed rider currently impaled on his cock whines in distress at the decrease of the speed of Viggo's thrusts.

"Oh gods no! Please don't stop, Viggo please don't stop." Hiccup gasps desperately.

Thats the first time the young Hooligan has said his name since Viggo finally managed to disarm and pin him to this tree,  his sword against Hiccup's throat.

And now here he was fucking the young rider.

Viggo smiles darkly and resumes the pace of his thrusts before Hiccup spoke.

"You feel even better than I'd imagined my dear." Viggo kisses the side of Hiccup's neck, the pleased sound the rider makes shooting straight to Viggo's already hard cock.

"Maybe I won't let you go when I'm done with you. You'd make a very, very pretty pet." Viggo nips at Hiccup's pulse point drawing a gasp from Hiccup. He starts to suck a mark there on the riders pulse point, not caring that Hiccup would have to lie about its origin to his friends.

Viggo wanted Hiccup wearing his marks.

He'd suspected that Hiccup would look pretty all marked up with Viggos marks, and as he watched the skin of Hiccup's neck start to turn purple under his ministrations, he discovered that he was right.

"Viggo..." Hiccup had started to struggle a little in Viggos grip, the last thing he'd said coming off more threatening than considering.

Viggo yanks the boy back against him, trapping Hiccup between his body and the tree as he increases the pace of his thrusts again, Hiccup clawing at the bark on the tree as he's fucked, whining softly, tears running down his cheeks as he tried to prevent any of the actual sounds he wanted to make from escaping.

"As much as I want to completely claim and own you," Viggo growls into Hiccup's ear, relishing in the shiver that rolled through the riders body at his words. "When you finally become mine, it'll will be even sweeter because you'll have decided that you want to be. Not because I forced you too. Remember that dear."

Hiccup isn't quite sure what Viggo was saying, only catching a bit here and there, but essentially getting the message that Viggo wasn't gonna keep him right now.

He yelps as the hand of the arm Viggo had around his waist closes around his cock and starts to stroke up and down Hiccup's shaft with the pace of Viggo's thrusts.

"As much as I'd like to draw this out darling, the battle seems to be ending and so our little tryst must do the same." Viggo's thrusts into his body over his prostate, his stokes of Hiccups cock and his silky voice push Hiccup over the edge.

The hand around his throat is flying back up to clamp tightly over Hiccups mouth as he tenses, and then screams, his orgasm crashing over him in a wave of white hot heat.

The young Berkian completely shatters in Vigho's grip, eyes rolling back  into his head, body spasming, scream escaping his lips, walls clamping down tightly on Viggo's cock.

Viggo cums with a growl, fucking Hiccup through both their orgasms. He takes perverse pleasure from knowing that not only will Hiccup be sore sitting in the saddle flying back to the edge and walking funny the next couple of days, the young man also has to make the long flight back to the edge full of Viggo's cum.

A feral, possessive, heathen instinct rears it's head in the back of Viggo's mind as he thinks about Hiccup stuffed full of his cum, all his riders around and completely unaware. It was an ultimate claim.

God he wants to drag Hiccup back to his ship and completely destroy him again in the privacy of Viggos quarters and his large bed.

He looked so pretty shattering for Viggo like that.

Viggo withdraws from Hiccups body cum leaking out as he does.

Hiccup groans and goes slack against the tree in front of him for support. His legs are visibly shaking.

Viggo tucks his cock back into his pants and then uses one of his large fingers to swipe up some of the leaking cum from around the edge of Hiccup's hole, the boy crying out as Viggo uses his finger to push it back inside.

"Until we meet again my dear." Viggo presses a kiss to Hiccup's neck and then he's gone.

Despite wanting to just pass out against the tree in front of him from pleasure and exhaustion, he can't let his friends find him like this so Hiccup quickly tucks himself back into his pants, wincing at the sticky feeling of the cum leaking from his ass.

The thought of having to fly back to the edge full of the dragon hunters cum, that invisible claim mark so blatantly on Hiccup now, even tho his friends wouldn't know, makes Hiccup's dick twitch.

"Oh gods." He sighs as he turns around, presses his back against the bark of the tree, and sinks to the ground, hands pressed against his eyes.

What had he done?

He debates going to find them but then decides that his riders can come find him.

He needs a minute to get collected.

And so that's how Toothless and the riders find him, sitting on the ground, back against the tree trunk, still panting, but looking considerably less "I just had sex" like.

"Hiccup are you alright!?" Astrid helps Hiccup to his feet.

"I'm okay, just tired. Viggo's quite a skilled swordsman." He reassures them.

"Where is Viggo?" Fishlegs asks. Hiccup shakes his head.

"I don't know. He disarmed me, slammed the butt of his sword into my stomach and then I woke up against this tree." It's a blatant lie but his friends seem to take the words in stride.

"We got the lense. Let's go home." Hiccup holds up the lense that he'd pilfered from Viggo's belt as Viggo fucked into him.

So maybe he'd had an ulterior motive. But he still very much enjoyed how he'd been fuxked by his adversary and wondered if it would happen again.

His friends cheer at the sight of the metal piece.

Hiccup doesn't have to have super hearing to hear the roar of anger that echoes through the hunter camp on the opposite side of the island as they take off into the night as Viggo discovers what Hiccup has done.

[ushiwakaout]

The series of the things the haikyuu boys will say is so good i love it! Do you write for Kita??if yes may i request what would he say?kita is baby he need more love <3

Thank you it means a lot 😭

I love kita 🥺 underrated for fuxking sure

i’m really behind on the haikyuu anime but i’ve read the manga so i hope i can depict Kita well. This will be timeskip kita btw so he’s a rice farmer. ⚠️WARNINGS: TIMESKIP HAIKYUU ⚠️

i will legit write for all haikyuu characters, you can request more: here

let’s just say you work at Origiri Miya w Osamu, good? good.

“Hey, sugar... I gotta go to work.” (4:30 am)

“I left you some brekfast that you can reheat, go back to sleep okay?”

*will push the hair out of your eyes to kiss your forehead*

“Don’t forget to wake up.”

“I’ll call you, you’re gonna forget.”

“Nope, i’m calling you.”

“Goodmorning lazy.” (7:00 am)

“You up yet? Yeah i didn’t think so.”

“I called a little earlier because i forgot my lunch back and i need you to bring it to me.”

“Don’t worry i let Osamu know that you’ll be late.”

“Because if i didn’t do it, you wouldn’t have and then Osamu would have scolded you for being late and lazy.”

“You know i’m always blunt, i gotta go now but being me my lunch at 10 will ya?”

“Yeah, love you too, i’m hanging up now.”

“Ooo you’re here.” (10:00 am)

“Good i was getting hungry.”

“Sit with me, i told Osamu you’d be there at 12 instead of 11.”

“It’s not my fault you put you’re uniform on beforehand.”

“Shut up you look fine.”

*talks with mouth full*

“Are you sore from yesterday?”

“Hey, don’t hit me! I’m asking because i’m concerned.”

“Don’t look at me like that you know i don’t care if other people hear us... They work for me anyways.”

“I’ll see you later today because i gotta deliver orders.”

“Come on give me a kiss and then you can go to work.”

*will slap your ass in front of all his colleagues bc he really doesn’t give a shit bc he’s literally the boss*

*will make Osamu Miya his last stop bc he wants dinner and has time to sit down and watch you serve*

you: “The usual?” (3:00 pm)

kita: “That... and a pice of you of course.”

osamu: *shivers in disgust bc he can’t say anything rude to his senpai*

“Yes of corse the usual.”

*you can face away from him and since he’s always in the corner by the kitchen he will pinch your ass while you’re taking orders*

you: “excuse me one second *turns around to look at Kita just eating*

kita: “what? don’t blame me, it’s your fault. Keep working sugar.”

*hes such a smug asshole*

osamu: “stop pinching y/n, she keeps stuttering”

kita: “i can do what i like with my s/o, and if that’s pinching hed ass, then i’ll pinch her ass”

*goes to the back against osamus rules and kisses you goodbye*

*osamu has 100% heard y’all fucking in the storage where he keeps the cleaning supplies, never mentions it and has barely started looking you in the eyes again*

“I’ll pick you when you’re shift is over.”

“Yeah, yeah, I’m on the way.”

“Make me some onigiri to go.”

“Well tell Osamu that his elder says so.”

“Give osamu the phone.”

“What do you mean you have to stay clean up?” (6:00 pm)

“I’ll be here then, pour me a drink, will ya?”

*will start getting handsy on the 3rd drink*

*it starts getting slow so you just stand by him waiting for people to show up, his hand hooks around your thigh and his hand is just squished between your warm thighs*

“How’d you get so lucky with you?”

“I wanna tell you something- i think i grandmother is waiting for to propose and i just might.”

“Why are you blushing? There’s no point in blushing, i know i wanna spend the rest of my life with you.”

“Don’t cry~ You’re still working, come on, get to it.”

*you’re sitting a table and someone starts getting handsy*

osamu: “don’t i got it.”

kita: “fuck you, that’s my s/o.”

osamu: “their my best friend!”

kita: “Hey asshat, get you’re hand off my s/o!”

osamu: “If you’re not gonna respect my worker. pay and get the fuck out.”

you: “hey, hey, hey- calm down. i got this.”

*you take their food and set it down at an empty table. picking up your checkbook and slapping the person who sexually harassed you*

you: “if you don’t get up from my table,

“I’ll be taking them now.” (11:00 pm)

“You okay? I know you got thick skin but that wasn’t okay either.”

“Come here give me a kiss.”

*reaches hand out for the onigiri bag*

“Onigiri?”

you: “you only love me bc i give you food.”

“That’s somewhat true *snaps bag out of your hand* Thanks sugar, now hold my hand.”

*he’s a little drunk so you’re stumbling with him while y’all walk home bc it’s 10 mins away from your work*

“Help me in the bath.” (11:20 pm)

“Come in the bath with me.”

“You need to relax, come here.”

*will start sucking on your neck, hand going down your tummy and just goes to town*

*will make you cum on his hands while he’s holding and kissing you, he’s such a giving person that he swears that he doesn’t need help but the second your out of the bath you go on your knees and milk his cock because he’s such a good boyfriend*

*will also fuck you so good because you deserved it for working so hard*

“You looked really sexy when you slapped that person tonight.”

*starting kissing your face over and over again and squeezes you into his chest*

“I love you so much.”

“I don’t deserve you.”

“I’ve never felt so worthy to have someone, but you make me feel so loved.”

*will kiss your nose and your eyelids*

“I’m gonna take a day of tomorrow, and i’ll take you out on a date, I miss being with you.”

“Goodnight sugar, sleep well” (1:10 am)

extras:

“no i don’t like your coworker, he’s an asshole.”

“why should i care about what they say about me? i only care about you.”

“my grandmother wants grandkids so.... when are we gonna do that.”

“gran sent you this... how should i know what it is?”

“Come sit on my lap sugar.”

“Hey, what’s with your mood? You’re cranky.”

“Shh, i’m watching Atsumu play.”

“You’re jeans look good today.”

*slaps you ass*

“Come here.”

*will lay his head on your hips and caress your ass as you stand in front of him*

*if you have tittys, he will 100% go behind you while you’re cooking and reach to caress your tits under your shirt*

*Kita is a titty man, you can’t tell me otherwise. he loves you leave love bites on your chest*

[rebellioussinner09]

Who’s in Control?

Sub Kuroo x dom Fem Reader ❤️

Warning: VERY INTENSE AND LOTS OF CURSE WORDS AND KAMANYAKAN HAHAHAH (CHARACTER IS ABOVE 18 here)

If there’s one thing Kuroo prides himself for is that he knows he has good stamina.

Actually good was an understatement, he knows he has *excellent stamina* not only for playing volleyball but also for bedroom activities.

And Not to mention he was rough and unforgiving when it comes to sex(at least thats what he tells himself)

And he definitely uses that gift for his own advantages,

I mean he himself witnessed on how Y/N would just loose her mind from his Overstimulation or just his thrusting in general.

And a lot of their friends and peers often jokes about on how Y/N handles Kuroo’s attitude. Because as they quote “kuroo seems to be the type of guy who’s into bdsm”

*because lets be real He wasn’t called scheming captain by his team for nothing*

And Even Kenma and Bokuto would join in on that playful banter that Kuroo needs to tone it down sometimes so that Y/N can at least breath and have a chance to keep up with him.

Kuroo would only nod and smile to those comments because oh how wrong their assumptions were.

Because if the roles had been reversed, Y/N was literally 100x worse when it comes to teasing and sadism.

His teammates cleary hasn’t seen Y/N’s all dominant glory when she’s the one taking the reigns on their relationship.

And Kuroo totally had his first hand experience on this;

There was a time where they made a bet on who could last a week on teasing before the other one break, and Y/N won that bet fair and square cause not once did he saw her Crumble, she just shrugged off Kuroo’s efforts in teasing like it was just nothing.

And the dirty talk

*oh god the dirty talk*

If kuroo had a filthy mouth that calls out degrading terms when doing the deed, Y/N was more of a sweet smoth talker that would coo and whisper sweet nothings on your ear and somehow that was 10x worse cause man that girl knows her way with her words.

She would babble out on “how much of a good boy” Tetsuro has been and on how proud she is of him while she bounces herself up and down on his cock.

At that; Kuroo can practically pinpoint the moment he realizes and accepts he is no match for a dom Y/N

So he only whimpers in response as she digs her claws at the back of his shoulders as she continue the activity on riding him.

“Who’s my sweet boy now?” Y/N asks, her fingers slowly tracing the veins on Kuroo’s biceps.

“I am” Kuroo pants desperately “I am baby please- you’re killing me”

But the girl in front of her only raises a brow back at him, she growls loudly as her hand went up to grip Kuroo’s neck

“Now that’s not one way to adress me” she demands as she squeezed the lining of Kuroo’s adam’s apple

“Mommy” Kuroo moaned below her “Im sorry Mommy please”

With a satisfied smirk, Y/N realeses her hold, she leans down to her partners eye level to give him a passionate kiss on the lips

“Ok baby. You can cum now”

As if on command, Kuroo bucks his hips against her core as he splurted his load deep inside her

“Fuck” he hisses between his teeth.

By the time he was finished, he gives Y/N a sturdy glare “You’re killing me” he groans

But his girl only giggles in response “That’s what you get for picking a fight with Bokuto today”

And that was only Level 01 of Y/N being a dom.

Level 2 was way more intense and extreme because it involves a certain strap on toy that Y/N bought online

And to be honest Kuroo was a bit hesistant at getting pegged at first, because no way in hell was he agreeing on shoving up a dildo up to his prostate,

but the protest died on his mouth the moment Y/N pushed him in all fours over towards the bed.

“Awww but baby you take me so good” she purrs as she gently tugs of Kuroo’s boxers from his waist.

“Surely a big boy like you can handle a little strap on now would you?”

Kuroo lets out a deep growl as Y/N prods a finger into his hole to at least stretch it out before she pushes the toy in

“Y/N-“ he warnes

“Yes baby?”

He was about to retort a complaint when he feels the silicon material pushed up against his p-spot

“Fuck” he curses as he grabs a fistful the sheets below him

“You okay?” Y/N asks once she was fully in.

“M’good” Kuroo breathes “Just take it slow on me baby please”

But Y/N’s definition of slow was quite the opposite cause she rutted in him almost quickly as he lets the 7 inch toy slide in and out of him.

The overwhelming sensation of being full and the constant hitting of his prostate was too much for Kuroo’s liking.

He was too absorbed in processing the foreign object against his hole he was surprised Y/N’s hand made its way into his neglected cock.

She gives it a few gentle strokes before she pulls away to trap her arms into Kuroo’s neck.

“Straighten up” she orders lowly “Look at yourself in the mirror”

And Kuroo was quick to obey as he takes his full form on the reflection in front of him.

He was on his knees on the bed while Y/N relentlessly pounds him from behind.

“That’s it baby look at how much of a slut you are” Y/N snarls as she tugs him upward again so he can get a full view of his lower abdominal muscles and his cock that is leaking out pre-cum

The pleasureable feeling of him getting fucked and the degrading words from Y/N was just enough to send him into the edge that he even almost pulled out an aheago face right then and there.

And of course Y/N’s quick eyes didn’t miss that;

“Look at the mirror when you cum” she tells him roughly “Let me see that face you make”

So he does, one quick glance into his messy reflection he’s already cumming hard. He takes and jerks his cock out of sudden reflex all in as he maintained eye contact with himself through the mirror.

And fuck does the sight before him will live rent free on his mind from now on. 😂😂

3rd and Final Level was Y/N’s style of Exhibitionism and Public Sex.

Now in their relationship its no secret that kink is somehow Kuroo’s teritory.

Once his horny in public, Him and Y/N are known to be possibly hooking up in a nearby stall or bathroom or even the storage room if they’re inside the gymnasium.

That’s what all the team knew, It was always Kuroo who initiates the first move, But what they didn’t knew is half of those sexual activity was Y/N s idea.

(At least Kuroo has the decency to at least let them do it in a secluded place where he knows is private but at the same time the possibility of anyone walking in on them excited them both so honestly that was the whole point of it so it was definitely a win win situation)

But what Kuroo doesn’t know is how his girlfriend managed to get turned on in broad daylight and in the middle of the library during a study session

(And one thing about Y/N ; if she’s the first one to get turned on; Don’t even try to think of domming, Kuroo learned that the hard way)

So here she was eyeing him up and down with lusty eyes as she drew little circles around Kuroo’s thigh

“Y/N stop it” Kuroo snaps as he gently slaps the hand away.

“Want you” Y/N breathes unto the shell of his earlobe “You’re so sexy today”

Kuroo sighs in annoyance, he then dips his head down so he could give her a small kiss on the forehead

“Hold on a little longer baby” he reasures “When we’re done with the homework we can have a little detour inside one of the classrooms”

Y/N pouts at the idea of having to wait a little longer “But I want you now”

Kuroo gives her another kiss “I know. But they’re like 50 other people here with us”

At his statement Y/N gives a sly smirk.

And Kuroo was quick enough to piece the puzzles together “Baby dont you dare-“

But it was too late, Y/N reacted quickly on knocking few of her books down to the floor catching the attention of few other students from across their table.

She mumbles a quick apology before she kneels down to retrive them.

And by retrieve it was her kneeling infront of Kuroo’s legs to palm his bulge against the fabric of his pants.

“What are you doing?” Kuroo growls “Get up”

But Y/N wasn’t taking any hints and continued to fundle with his balls “You’re already hard babe” she comments “I know you like this. You like me blowing you out inside the library while they are peolple around us”

At the suggestion of blowing him, Kuroo’s breath hitched; “Y/N Im serious” he says “Not here”

Y/N lets out a sarcastic scoff “It will be fine” she assures as she zips Kuroo’s fly down to free his aching cock “Just dont make a sound”

Without another word, she envelops Kuroo’s long shaft into the depths of her mouth.

Kuroo lets out a soft whine as he takes a quick look at the surrounding around him, luckily no one has took noticed of them yet and he thanked the Nekoma high school library for having closed tables that covered their lower halves.

He then turns his gaze back to Y/N who was busy bobbing her head up and down on his cock.

He groans again as he feels her tongue move up to the base then around to his frenulum.

“Fuxk” he curses under his breath as he feels the building organsm ripping away through his stomach down to his shaft.

“baby I’m gonna cum” he whispers as he wraps a hand on her hair to guide her head up and down.

With another quick swish of Y/N’s tongue, Kuroo lets a harsh yelp as he involunarily thrust his hips into her mouth to ride out his orgasm.

Y/N pulls away with a loud pop as she gracefully wiped away the cum stains around her lips

“See?” She mused “that wasn’t so hard now was it?”

He fixes her a stern glare “oh fuxk you” he says as he took in the mess they made.

If they keep doing random stuffs like this; Kuroo’s gonna need a change of pants and possibly change schools. (His reputation as a volleyball captain would clearly be damaged) but when he tooks in the sighs of his girlfriend’s smirk and lewd face in front of him, Kuroo wouldn’t trade it for the whole world.

[hanjizung]

𝕂𝕚𝕟𝕜𝕥𝕠𝕓𝕖𝕣  𝕕𝕒𝕪  𝟚𝟞: 𝕣𝕖𝕤𝕥𝕣𝕒𝕚𝕟𝕚𝕟𝕘.

Seungmin x Reader.

Word count: 1.5k

♡ Warnings ♡: sugar daddy!Seungmin, Bratty!Reader, sexting, bondage/restraining, use of rope.

【ｐｒｅｖｉｏｕｓ　ｄａｙ　||　ｎｅｘｔ　ｄａｙ】

【Ｋｉｎｋｔｏｂｅｒ　ｍａｓｔｅｒｌｉｓｔ】

Seungmin had asked you to accompany him to one of his important dinners, buying you a fancy dress that he left in your bed along with a pair of beautiful high heels and a very expensive looking necklace that seemed so delicate and fragile.

There you were, smiling widely as his car parked inside of your house, the driver coming out of his seat to help you get inside it and then you were met with the man responsible of having you so dressed up, the one who spoiled you by buying things that, in his words, were made just for you exactly. 

He smiled, guarding his phone and taking your small hand in his bigger ones, bringing it to his lips and kissing the back of your hand as a greeting. 

"You look beautiful, princess. I knew that dress would fit you perfectly." 

You asked him about your day, what he did earlier and he asked about yours, paying attention to every word that came out of your red colored lips. 

He paid attention to you all the time during the ride to the place of the event, but when he reunited with the other important people he knew, you felt left aside. 

You tried to not get bored, but no one dared to get close to you, maybe they were afraid of getting on Seungmin's bad side for trying to get to know a little more about you. 

Your boyfriend scared people easily, and that left you alone and bored to death when he was busy talking with people of his interests, businesswise. And you were tired of it, of being left out. 

Looking for your phone in your purse, you took it out and held it under the table, then staring at it you got an idea, stood up from the table and looking for the bathroom. 

You finally found it, entering and checking it it was empty. When you made sure you were the only one, you locked the door and prepared to execute your plan. 

First, you took a normal photo. Seungmin's gift was too beautiful, and to be honest you loved how sexy you looked in it, you definitely needed to post a photo with it. You posed, took a lot of pictures in front of the mirror until a message interrupted you. It was your boyfriend asking you where you were. 

That was the time for you to follow the next part of your plan. 

You took a picture of the cleavage of the dress and sent it to Seungmin. He saw it, responding to your photo with 'not now, baby.' But it was too late, you were already sending one where you squeezed your exposed breasts and bit your lip when you read his message. 

He was going to be real mad at you. 

Satisfied with your little mischief, you fixed your dress and walked out of the bathroom, phone turned off and a victorious smile on your face. You made your way back to the table where you were and just as you expected, Seungmin was waiting for you with a clear angry expression on his face. He stood up when he noticed you, bowing to the rest of people on the table and walking your way in two long strides. When he was next to you, he took you by the arm tightly and walked towards the exit. 

"There you are, Y/N. I hope you're not forgetting anything, because we're leaving right now."

If you were walking by yourself and not being dragged by him, you would have stopped in your tracks. 

"What? Why, what about the dinner?" you asked him, a tone of fear in your voice that you couldn't hide. 

"I said we had an emergency" Seungmin didn't turn to answer you. Once outside, the driver from earlier opened the door for both of you. You got inside, moving to let Seungmin get in as well. You looked at him, he wasn't facing you, clearly deep in his thoughts. 

The whole ride was in silence, the tension got you playing with your fingers until a message on your phone distracted you. 'Damm , I forgot to put it on silent' you thought. You turned it on and saw it was a message from one of your friends complimenting your latest story with the dress. You giggled, making Seungmin look at you and growl when he saw who you were talking to. 

Talking to your friend was a great distraction during the rest of the right. Yeah, Seungmin got mad at you for sending him nudes, so how much madder could he get at you? Might as well keep messaging with your acquaintance. 

The car stopped, Seungmin opened his door and walked inside his building, his long steps making it hard for you to keep up with him thanks to the long heels in your feet, you almost had to run to find him entering the elevator. 

The bell on the elevator rang, you were on his floor. He stepped outside first, walking again as if he was alone and you swallowed. You were going to pay for this. 

"I want you naked on the bed when I get to the room" we're his only words before he left to the kitchen. 

You hurried to the master bedroom, starting to take off the beautiful dress as you walked to the room, sitting and taking all the other details off before he arrived. You sat in the corner of the bed, looking at yourself in the mirror of the closet he paid so much to get installed for you. 

"Did you think sending me those pictures of you while I was talking to important people was going to be funny, Y/N?" Seungmin's voice brought you back to reality. He was standing by the doorframe, his coat long gone and his sleeves rolled up, arms crossed on his chest. He seemed to be disappointed, it made you feel a little bit bad. 

And from that, he walked to you. You didn't know when it happened, but you stopped breathing until he touched you, making you stand up in front of the bed. He admired you, a cold but marveled shine on his eyes that sent shivers down your spine and almost -almost- made you close your eyes in embarrassment at how he was practically fucking you senseless with his eyes. 

Then, he walked away to the closet and opened drawer at the bottom. You peeked to see the thing on his hands, it made no sound so you didn't know what it was, until he turned completely and showed you. Rope. 

"Stay still, princess. I'm gonna tie you up, show you a lesson for sending those nasty pictures I didn't ask for" he caressed your cheek, then made you turn and moved your arms how he needed to start wrapping you with the rope. "Tell me if it's too tight, you know the safe word." 

Nodding, you felt him tug, making knots here and there and passing the piece of rope behind you until he hummed in satisfaction. 

"Try to move your arms for me, princess" you tried, the rope holding your arms still behind your back. He watched you struggle and smiled, proceeding to push  you by the shoulders to the bed making you lay on your stomach. 

"You look so beautiful like this, sweetheart. I don't like having to tie you up, but when I do I can't stop thinking how easy it is for me to destroy you" he muttered, admiring the masterpiece of his work before his eyes, you looked at him, eyes not failing to notice his caged cock. 

You heard him leave again, but this time the opening of something caught your ears and a few moments later the familiar sensation of cold lube at your entrance met you. He was preparing you for him, and once he spread the liquid everywhere, he pulled out his cock, placing it at your entrance and making you whimper. You helped him, raising your Ass for him to have an easier access to your needy hole. 

He groaned, grabbing your hips harshly and pushing himself inside you completely you gasped, closing your eyes when he started pulling out of you before slamming into you again. 

You bit your lip, focusing on how he pounded into you, heavy breathing, his grip too tight on you, you were sure there would be marks later. But you didn't care, all you wanted, all you needed was Seungmin ducking you numb, and he was doing just that. 

"You're such a needy whore, having to send me pictures naked because nobody is playing with you" one of his hand disappeared from your hips, a sudden slap on your buttcheek made you scream in surprise, jumping under him, an involuntary reaction from your body to the impact that came out of nowhere. 

You felt him grab the rope that held your arms still, the other hand on your hips snaking down to hug you by the waist as his thrusting became more rapid. You were moaning, your mind blank as Seungmin's cock twitched inside you second before painting your walls white. 

He kept fuxking you, slowing down his pace more and more until he couldn't take it anymore and he pulled out of you, admiring how his cum dripped from your throbbing pussy. 

"This is just the start, princess. I'm far from being done with you." 

[blkgirl-writing]

"Someday, You'll Come For More"

Mandalorian x Fem!Reader

Summary: In a hurry, Mando leaves the child in the care of a whore. When shes so good with taking care of the child, it becomes a constant. Though, what happens when he comes in for some other type of care?

A/N: finally, my idea comes to flourish on this beautiful day. Original idea stems from {THIS} post I made not too long ago. Ans thank you for the extra bonus idea from @lalablue0

Warnings!: SMUT! Male receiving oral, fingering, multiple orgasms, a whore house.

2k words

It was just looking for someone to take care of the child.

He still remembered the confused expression on her face, the simple explanation he gave. No one would think to leave a baby in the care of a whore.

This was the fifth time, now. And he wasn't quite convinced that he was only coming for the caretaking. He only asked for you. And if you were busy, he waited. Even if the matters were urgent. And when you emerged, you was always glowing. A sheen of sweat on your body, the littlest pieces of clothing covering just what needed to. And you smiled whenever you saw him,

"Eventually, you'll come here without the child, and wish for a different type of care," you always spoke, with a low, husky confidence. Brushing your hands over his arm, giving him a sweet, almost caring look. Knowing. He hated it.

You were right.

"I want Y/n," he asked the woman upfront, who's eyes were too far apart, and hair too slime green for her dimpled skin. Her chair was about to fall apart, though she acted like it was a throne. He didnt like her cockiness. Not in the slightest.

"Ah, you must be the father she talks about," the woman hummed, and pointed directly to his right, where some rusty metal stairs led to a dark hallway. "She's in the first room to the right. Have fun. Don't be too loud-"

He wondered if he should turn back. Lorian felt dirty and gross, hearing sounds of woman and men moaning, screaming. It was a lot to take in for a little dingy place. But he nodded, and turned to the stairs. Biting down on his lips beneath the helmet.

The sounds only got louder as he stepped up, a faint glow from the ceiling. Candles lining the floor. It hadn't been swept in....maybe ever. And every step he took made a loud clank. Yet when the idea of turning around popped into his head, it was easily dismissed, especially when he laid eyes on your door, name sprawled in the most basic of lettering. Almost lazily. It was cracked open, revealing the dim pink hued light. He didnt hesitate to go in, not bothering to knock. Did anyone knock in a house like this?

You turned her head, a docile look on her face, until you realized who it was. You immediately broke into a bright grin, lips slightly parted. Almost tempting. Fuck.

"No child, this time?" You asked, getting up from your soft bed. Sheets a light pink and blue, patterned like a tapestry. Alluring guests into the pretty place.

"No," he said, letting out a sigh. He hoped it wasnt as audible as it felt, like how heart escaping from him as he looked at you. Stunning. With a sheer top covering the bare minimum, it so short he could see the Crest of your breasts. A long skirt flowing, with a slit all the way up. It was one of the most beautiful sights he had ever seen. Natural.

"Can't say I'm surprised." You smirked, drawing yourself closer to him, laying a finger on his chest plate. "What I can say is, I'm very excited."

"What?" He questioned, looking down at you with some shock. He stood at over you, looming, but not in a defensive way at all.

"You can't pretend like your whole mandalorian gig isn't fucking hot. And your voice, the way you take a room." You ran a hand down lightly, cold metal against your skin. "And kind at heart, too. More than most of my clients."

"Lorian," you spoke, lips parted, face lit so slightly by the candles by the bed. "Can I call you that?"

"Yes," he breathed, breath hitching as your hands wandered to his, grasping them lightly.

"Let's start with these, then?" You gently pulled at his glove, removing it so easily. Your skin finally touching his.

It was a blurr, how you led him to your bed, taking time to undo his armor, leaving him with only his thin linen shirt and boxers. With your thighs pressing against his, slowing grinding down onto him. Maker, is was painfully hard under you. He barely kept his hands to himself, wandering from your hips to her breasts, needing the touch, the rawness. The release that was to come. He craved it.

You pushed down the rest of the fabric between his cock, revealing his thickness. Yiu couldn't hide the surprise "of course you'd be huge.."

"I don't know how I'm gonna fit this inside me," you muttered to herself, though he couldn't help but hear. You wrapped your fingers around his dick, stroking him lazily a few times, precum already dripping down. "Fuck."

He wove his fingers through your hair, grasping for his life. You licked a stripe down his length, then inched her mouth down his dick,taking as much as you could before gagging. It was agonizing, how slow you was going. With the sight of the literal goddess. You casually looking up at him, humming on his dick, caressing his thighs and balls. It wasn't long before his cum shot down your throat, and you were able to come up, planting kisses on his open chest as you did.

The pulled you down to the bed, towering over you, resting between your legs. One of his rough hands traveled from your inter thigh, circling it's way up to your breasts. Cupping and kneading them with such ease and care.

His fingers dipped into you, two at a time, knuckles deep before he curled them inside you, pumping in and out with a growing pace. You moaned into his touch, hands gripping his shoulders. You wondered how much experience he had, but your job wouldn't allow to ask questions. He certainly acted like he had many, but you wouldn't be surprised if it was few and far between.

His palm pressed against your clit, rubbing it with every move of his wrist,fingers hitting that spot just right, you were so close to coming undone right on his fingers. "Fuck, Lorian, keep going-"

He panted along with you, the sight so sinfully beautiful. The sight of you trembling because of him, cumming for him, face hot and eyes nearing tears of pleasure, just because of him...the idea almost had him cum right there.

"Yes, yes, fuck yes!" You moaned, pressing your lips onto his shoulder, sucking and biting onto the skin as you came, humming approval against his skin. Hips bucking into his fingers. He kept pumping til you sat still, eyes blown out in lust. You took time to get off of him, bringing him into a seated position, running your hands along his arms. Triceps.

"Do you like tits or ass better?" You grabbed onto your own breasts, wiggled your butr a little bit. His hands reached out to your ass, grasping so yard, you were sure it would leave marks in the morning.

"Of course you're an ass man. Okay, big boy. Fuck me." You turned around, pressing your ass up against his crotch, grinding into his length.

He carefully pushed into you, taking his sweet time to adjust to the tight feeling. And you to his huge cock. A long, drawn out moan fell from your lips. You were going to be the death of him, he was so sure of that now. Sody skin pressed to his. Hands wandering all over your body. Perfect.

He started slow, trying so fucking hard to not cum as soon as he rolled his hips into yours. Just the fact that he couldn't fit all of himself into you turned him on more than he would like to admit. How tight you felt, how warm you were. His hands gripped your ass as he pushed in and out of you,

"Fuck me, Lorian. Break me-" you said, pushing back into him. "I'm a slut for you."

His thrusts got faster, rougher, harder. His hands traveling everywhere, from your waist to your hair, but ended up staying on your neck, bringing you back to him.

"You-feel so fucking good," he pants, breath heavy and sweat forming as he fucked you. Bliss. A bliss he didnt know if he had ever felt. You were so hot, and his needs were so pent up. "So fucking tight, so good for me."

"Let me ride you-" you pulled yourself away from him, turning around to have Mando. He was truly a sight. Sweat rolling off of his tan body, thighs strong and thick perfect to ride...another time, hopefully.

He laid back, watching as you straddled his thighs. Taking a moment to grind your bare pussy against his painful hard on.

Clutching onto your waist, he guided you down onto him yet again. Letting out a soft moan as you did so. Hands pressed to his chest, your breasts pushed together by your arms, you set the pace, fast and rough. Grinding down on him in between quick and sloppy pumps. Finger nails scratching at his skin, leaving behind red marks in the wake.

Mandos hand came down from your waist to your clit, rubbing circles on the still slightly sensitive place. "Fuck, Lorian, yes-"

"Just like that" you moaned, voice breathy and light. Mando couldn't take it, he needed release sooner than what you were giving him, even if the sight of you fuxking him was enough for a million wet dreams and nights alone. His hands dug into your skin, forcing you down onto him as he thrust into you at an unforgiving pace. His eyes kept on you, though. One of your hands over your mouth, the other rubbing yourself.

You needed that second orgasm more than you needed air. You felt him throbbing inside of you, close to a release himself. Everything was so sensitive, so raw. He had ducked you so senseless.

"Let me see your face-" He moaned out, slowing down just so slightly as he spoke. "You're too fucking beautiful to hide."

You moved your hand away from your mouth, grabbing onto his forearm. His pace just back up again, so fucking hot and furious as he stretched you completely. At this point, you were grasping at thin strings,

"L-lorian," you panted. The way your breasts bounced as he fucked you, the O on your lips, eyes closed tight. Mando let out a choked moan, spilling his cum deep inside you. Thrusts few and far between, but deeper than ever. Just seconds after he came, you followed, clenching down onto his cock, eyes rolling back with your final release. Whole body jerking as you let your head fall to your chest. Mando committed your image to memory...writhing above him, milking every drop from him as you came.

The pair stayed there for a few moments, taking in each others glory. Then, unexpectedly to him, you leaned down, pressing a kiss to his helmet. Running a hand down his shoulder to his chest.

"I hope you come back, Lorian." You whispered, voice raspy and low. And you did. Something about him. It was better than anyone else. Charm, maybe. You couldn't place your finger on it. But you knew he was desperate for you. "With or without the child. Stick around for a bit."

"I..." Mando muttered, placing a hand gently on your jaw, testing the waters. Moving to tuck some loose hair behind your ear. The mandalorian couldn't imagine not seeing you like this again...not drinking up your sweet scent, touching your soft skin. Now hes tasted, he doesn't think he could ever go back. "I will. I promise."

_______________

TAGLIST: @mando-vibes @swagaliciouspupper @discogrrl @tmnt-would2

[xerospaced]

So i was curious as to whether a meltdown could be catatonic

As I feel, on an emotional level, that I am having a meltdown but rather than the crying/rocking/moaning/stimming/hyperventilating and what have you

I'm stuck

Like i managed to sit up to plug my phone in coz an hour or so ago coz it hit 1%

But otherwise I've been locked in this position for about 4 hours.

So anyway, I google catatonic meltdown to see if it's a thing

Lo and behold!

Not only is it a thing

But I've been having catatonic episodes for weeks IF NOT MONTHS

The lack of initiation, agitation, limited movement, limited speech, slowness (and I mean wow fucking slowness!! Im moving so slow I am losing literal HOURS without realising it)...

Ykno what

Lemme just post a screencap of the list of presentations

And... it is presentations in autism - I was searching meltdowns so makes sense

What I'm saying is that I have [and have had in various combinations over the past weeks/months] ALL OF THESE FUCKING SYMPTOMS

Even down to the grimacing ayfkm

And the only reason I even noticed the grimacing was coz i realised it was happening a few weeks ago but couldn't seem to stop it and I thought it was fucking odd.

Aggression and difficulty initiating actions CHECK AND FUCKING CHECK- it's getting our of hand.

Hesitations. Repetitive movements! My back is FUCKED coz i can't maintain a suitable seated position for longer than im stuxk thinking about it.

I legit feel like I'm losing my grip on reality. Like I'm not here.

Weirdly... scary to know this is it's own thing I'm experiencing. Daunting. But also - I've been dealing with this my whole life. No exaggeration. Sometimes I have months where I'm clear. But I would say I experience at least half of any one of these given symptoms at any given time.

That's....

Incredibly fucking upsetting if I'm honest.

I kept thinking that one day I would just figure it out.

I will be able to move when I want to. Eat when I should. Pull myself away from my interests when I wish. Not lost untold time getting stuck repeating the same motion with no end goal. Urinate when my bladder is full rather than the last second where my body is right about to override my fuggen brain! Work when I want to work!

But the aggression. These past days. I put it down to PMS - I'm sure it's played it's part. But last weeks. The consistent agitation. The inability to perform any necessary task. Falling behind on my work. The absolutely NOTHING mood. But agitation gnawing away consistently.

I feel like a powder keg.

I have no support.

I have no diagnosis [it's become impossible to believe that I'm wrong about my suspicions of ASD at this point].

I have no idea how to manage it.

And all the live long day it's "try this and try this and figure this out" and I just want to fucking scream because my brain is NOT WORKING!

What's the solution that fixes the line between I WANT to do something and me Actually doing it!?

I want to play sims but even something I actively enjoy I miss out on because I can not initiate action.

Yes, I find it easier to accomplish tasks when I am around people. BUT I AM ALONE 95% OF THE TIME. Soon to be something closer to 99.

SO.......!!??

And I feel guilty

I feel shitty

I'm underperforming!

I work quickly and to a high standard but I'm lagging because I can't start. Or I do start but I can't maintain course.

Im still stuck in the same twisted position as when I started typing this 20 mins ago and I'm sure it hurts but I cant even tell if it hurts anymore.

I can't remember what natural hunger feels like. I'm talking ravenous or nothing - mostly nothing.

And there's been so much going on lately.

And all I'm hearing is what I'm not doing.

What I need to improve.

Where I'm falling short.

Do more. Do More. DO MORE.

My moods are shifting too quick for me to log them. Not that it matters anyway coz I lack the ability to initiate that fucking task too.

There are so many things I want to do. And I know exactly how I want to be living. And I know (from the short few months in which I actually managed it) how good it feels to live the way I want.

But I can't make it happen.

I can't even decide if I should feed myself rn.

All this shit going on has not had me mentally stressed - at points, I'm not exactly big on stressing or worrying - but what has become undeniable is that it has fucked me on a functional basis.

I'm not steering the ship. And I don't know how to take control.

And I'm on a fucking 11 month waiting list for an autism assessment.

When I say life has been Hard.

The ADHD that was only diagnosed last year, the likely undiagnosed ASD, also diagnosed last year was the autoimmune connective tissue disease. Major depressive disorder. Multiple forms of anxiety. The misdiagnosed bpd. And then IF WE REALLY HAVE TO let's add on the self-harm, failed suicide attempt(s), ostracisation, emotional abuse, physical abuse, being literally left for dead, the plethora of hospitalizations as a child, childhood emotional neglect, abandonment, overlooked behavioural issues, teenage self-medicating, bullying, and fuggen MORE

I mean

Life

Is

Fuxking

HARD.

With a brain and a body that won't connect (and is also trying to destroy me for shits and giggles).

And I'm still wanting to keep going.

At this point... purely out of spite.

Because fuck this hand I've been dealt. But Fuck Me if I'm not a sharp son of a bitch! Ima play the fuck out of em.

Almost 27 years I've dragged myself through misery and I'm still in it.

I refuse to tap out now. I got no choice but to make it worth something. To make it matter. To make my existence mean more than a stupid fucking mistake the universe has been trying to erase.

I gotta be in this for Something.

This can't be all life has to give me.

Surely.

[conaionaru]

Moral of the story (Modern Bjorn)

Who knew

Synopsis: As a single father, Bjorn doesn't have much time to move on from his wife Thorunn. When Marjorie Potts stumbles into his life.

Warning: Slowburn, friends to lovers, modern au, Siggy lives, abusive ex

I don't own the gifs.

Unstrapping his little daughter from her car seat, Bjorn made his way to his house. It was new, a gift from his father to have a fresh start. It was closer to Ragnar's new family. Siggy liked being close to her uncles and little cousins.

The five-year-old run after him; her pigtails were bouncing happily as she clutched her stuffed bear in her hands.

Banging caused the two to stop. By the neighbor's house, a car parked on the lawn, ruining the grass. A man stood by the door, trying to get in. But somebody from the inside struggled to keep him out.

"Who is he?" He heard an older lady ask as three grandmas walked by.

"No idea. Never seen him before. The girl lives all alone."

"Maybe an old boyfriend. Mabel. Call the police on him. He is up to no good."

True to their word, the drunken man banged on the door and screamed loudly. "Let go, you, bitch! Fuxking whore, though you could fool me? Moving won't save you, Marjorie!"

Bjorn frowned at the yelling and left his daughter with the three women. He marched to the man just as he managed to rip the door open.

"Stop running!"

"Hey! Let her go."

The man turned around to look at Bjorn stalking towards him. "Don't interrupt. We are in the middle of something."

The redheaded girl used the moment to try and slam the door closed, but the man put his foot in the crack and slammed the door open. The force bashed the girl's head against the wood and collapsing on the ground in pain. She cursed as he raised his arm to hit her, but Bjorn wrapped her arm around his wrist and wrenched him off her.

The flashing lights of the police alerted them that the fight was over. The man ripped himself out of Bjorn's chokehold and pointed an accusing finger at him. The Ragnarsson ignored him and helped the girl up from the ground. "Are you alright? Do you see double?"

"Thanks."

The ginger looked over her shoulder at the yelling men getting restrained by the police. "I will fucking kill you, bitch! How dare you cuff me! Wait till my father hears about this! He will get you all fired! Do you hear me?!"

"Maam." A policewoman called out and walked to Bjorn and his neighbor with a medical kit in her hands. "How about we patch you up, and you can make a statement."

"I can do it here too."

The policewoman nodded and took out a notepad after patching up her head wound. The scratch on her forehead was bleeding a little bit and probably hurt like a bitch. The old ladies carried Siggy to Bjorn, who also had to make a statement. 

During his interview, he heard the girl's conversation with the cops. "He is my ex. Andrew Doyle. D-O-Y-L-E."

"Has he beat you before? Any attacks of any kind? Before or after your break-up."

"During. This is the first time he saw me since we split up. I moved to have a new start."

When all the turmoil slowed, Bjorn was left alone with his daughter and neighbor, who looked at her busted door in disdain. "I know someone who can repair it. I could call him."

The ginger looked back at him and frowned before sighing and nodding. She put her hands in her pockets as she watched the tall, broad man fish his phone out of his pocket while his little daughter runs around him in circles.

She was a cute child with dark brown eyes and strawberry blonde curly hair in two pigtails. Attentive and curious, stealing glances at the strange woman every once in a while. 

"He will come to look at it in two hours."

"Thanks... I don't know your name."

Bjorn chuckled and extended his hand to her. "Bjorn Lothbrok. This is my daughter Siggy. We are new here."

She smiled at him halfheartedly and shrugged, shaking his hand. "Joy Potts. A resident for a month. Welcome to the neighborhood, I guess." She turned on her heel to go into her home, but Bjorn called out to her once more.

"You could wait at my house. It would be safer." Joy frowned at his offer and tried to decline, but Siggy run-up to her, smiling. 

"You could play with me! Or do my hair. My Daddy is bad at it."

"I am not." He tried to protest, but Siggy shook her head and looked up at the ginger with puppy dog eyes. 

Fuck me. "Sure."

And so she ended up in a house way too huge for a single father and his little daughter. The guy had five guest bedrooms! If he rented the thing out, he could buy another car instead of the Mercedes parked out front. But the tall blonde seemed like a good guy, you know, for a rich dude. 

Joy subtly looked over his kitchen as he tried to cook something for all of them. The wine bottle on the top shelf seemed old, judging by the lair of dust on it, and very welcoming. "Do you want some? I could open it." 

She shook her head and smiled sheepishly at Bjorn's confused look. "Just trying to seize you up. You know, if I am not in the house of a psychopath." 

He chuckled and pointed at the five-year-old girl painting behind the dinner table. "I have a kid."

"Psychos have sperm too. I am sure attractive ones have some kids. Ted Bundy made on in prison." She shrugged and smirked at his bewildered expression. He invited her into his home, let him bear the consequences. She was way too fucking tired to tip-toe around him.

"Fair point." He shrugged and stirred the sauce in the pot. Joy shook her head at the technique and walked over to him to peer into the pot.

"Does food involve my stay here?" Bjorn nodded and grinned proudly at his creation that...honestly looked poisoned. "I will pass then."

"It doesn't look that bad!"

"Daddy's right! It smells worse!" Siggy called from her spot on the dinner table and run over to Joy and her father to show them her picture. It was a cute scene of her, her father, and many other people with names over them. Some of the letters were backward. But Joy could make out the words "Ubbe" and "Ivar." The last one looked like an angry troll.

"It's not so bad. I am sure it can be saved." With an unsure grin, Joy tasted the pasta sauce. It tasted horrid, so she spent the next two minutes perfecting the disaster enough so it could be edible. 

The dinner was rather quiet; Siggy ate the spaghetti happily, getting the sauce all over her. Bjorn opened the bottle of white wine, so hopefully, the awkward tension would ease. Joy was never really a people person. She liked her privacy and scandals to be her own business. After her relationship with Andrew, she lost all her friends and wasn't that bummed about it. Moving far away is easier when you had no attachments. No need to burn bridges to keep yourself safe when they were all ashes already.

"So... Why did you move here? Usually, people like you don't move into neighborhoods filled with old ladies. Or is that your type?" Maybe the wine wasn't the best decision, but she always made the wrong choices. So no surprise there, let her big mouth insult the guy that gave her shelter and fed her.

Bjorn just chuckled and looked at Siggy's adorable happy face. "I needed a quiet place to raise my daughter. Far away from my teenage brothers and my dad's new wife. And you? What's a girl like you doing here?"

Joy smirked and finished her third glass of red wine. "Escaping mostly."

"From him?"

The smile dropped from her face. Why was she even shocked at the answer? He did save her from Andrew and heard her talk with the cops. "Him and other people. Rumors, knowing eyes, judgment. It was tiring, and I needed an escape. So I thought, where would no one normally want to move? And I came here."

"No one but me, I guess. Or do I not count as normal? A guy like me? What does that even mean, by the way?"

She poured the rest of the bottle into her glass and swirled the liquid around, trying to sort her thoughts. "A guy that came from money, obviously. Otherwise, you couldn't afford a place like this. And you also invited a stranger you just met into your home. What if I was a psychopath that could kill you?"

"We can't both by psychos, can we? What would the odds be?" They both shared a laugh, Siggy asking for seconds right after. Joy couldn't look at the messy face, so she took a napkin and wiped at Siggy's face. 

"Nooo. I want to be messy. It's like make-up. It will make me pretty." Siggy whined while Joy and Bjorn laughed at her. 

"It doesn't match your skin tone, honey." Joy joked and threw the dirty napkin away. The doorbell rang right after, so Bjorn went to open the door. The man that walked in after him, was tall and lanky. 

He was the one that was supposed to fix the door. So Floki, Bjorn, Siggy, and Joy went to her home to look at the damage. The ginger led them into her living room, where Floki spread his tools and went to hang down the door. She would need a new lock and some damage control, but it would be working within the hour. 

Siggy looked around the room and then settled on the couch to watch TV. After asking Joy to do something with her hair, of course. Bjorn used the moment to look around. Despite her living here longer than him, Joy's house was impersonal. Just easily decorated to pack up faster if needed. 

The Lothbrok understood that she was probably on the run from Andrew, but the house looked so empty. No photos or anything to show that someone actually lived here. One thing that caught his attention were dog tags on the wall. "They were my dad's. Marine."

"My brother wanted to enlist, but our Dad talked him out of it. Said Ubbe wouldn't handle the violence and blood full time. Ivar still holds it over him until now." Bjorn snorted in amusement, causing Joy to laugh too. 

"Annoying little shit, brother? Know what that's like."

"Brothers?"

Joy rolled her eyes and looked at him, resting her chin against the back of the beige couch. "Two. One older, one younger. Annoying, overprotective, and a nightmare to live with as a teenage girl."

"Well, there are 13 years between me and Ubbe, who's the oldest. Bringing girls home was very hard when a little boy is following you like a lost puppy." 

Joy snorted and grinned at Bjorn's confused look. "Boohoo. Poor Bjorn couldn't get it on. My brothers threatened my first boy friend, not even dating, just project partners. The guy couldn't even walk in the same hall as me. My youngest brother banged pots outside my door after I came home from a party for the first time."

"My dad used to blast Queen right next to my ear. Sat there and laughed at my misery when he found me hugging the toilet. I still think he has blackmail material from that time."

Laughing at their pasts was so easy. As if they had known each other for years. It has been a long time since Bjorn could spend time with someone that wasn't family or work-related. "So the door is fixed. It looks like nothing ever happened."

Floki giggled while walking in. Joy jumped up to pay him, but the tall stranger stopped her. "Anything for a friend of Bjorn."

"We aren't exactly-"

"Thank you, Floki. Say hi to Helga and Angrboða for me!" Bjorn cut her off and led the men out, saying something about a playdate between their girls.

Floki looked the tall man over and grinned. "You know, you could bring Siggy tomorrow and ask the girl out. You aren't really subtle."

"I don't like Joy like that. I know her for a few hours."

"Never stop you before, Big Bear." The younger male mock glared at Floki, who just snickered and left.

When he walked back into the room, Joy and Siggy played a card game, and his daughter's hair was in two braids. "Strange fellow, isn't he?"

He shrugged and went to help Siggy win. "Known him since birth. He is my parent's friend since they were all my age. His wife and daughter are sweet, though."

After the game, Bjorn took Siggy to leave, the little girl hugging Joy as a goodbye. He looked at them and sighed. "I wanted to ask you... Would you like to go out for a drink? As neighbors and new friends, nothing serious."

Joy smirked at his stammering and nodded. "Are you going to ask the old ladies out too? I would like to see that."

"Oh yes, I have a knitting lesson planned out with each one." They laughed again and parted ways.

Joy stood there, dreading what would come during the "date." She was in no mood for a relationship so soon after Andrew. Especially after today. But if he really wants to just be friends, then fine. If he ends up in the friend zone, that's on him. 

So the next day, she spent minimal time on her make-up and clothes. If he wants to be friends, he should get used to her looking like a gremlin. But she better ease him into it; we don't want him to get a heart attack so young, do we?

Sitting at the bar and waiting for him felt weird. Joy felt desperate and ridiculous in her jeans and leather jacket. She felt like everyone kept staring, and every laugh felt like it was meant to be about her. 

 'Cause I'm just a teenage dirtbag, baby

Yeah, I'm just a teenage dirtbag, baby

Listen to Iron Maiden, baby, with me, ooh

The song on the stereo made her feel old. It was released in the 2000s when she was a kid. She listened to that song constantly when it came up on the radio and sang along. Now the young people in the bar looked at the stereo in confusion, unfamiliar to the hit. 

"But he doesn't know who I am. And he doesn't give a damn about me." Bjorn sang from behind her, grinning at her shocked expression.

"You sing fine, but your timing's shit." Joy teased as he sat down and ordered a whiskey like her.

"I was held up, spilled something over my shirt, and had to change. But I am here." He grinned at her and froze. What were they supposed to talk about now? The weather? Sports? Since when was he so bad at this?!

Joy looked at him with curious eyes and sighed. "I just want to remind you, no feelings."

"That won't be hard." Bjorn shook his head; Joy raised an eyebrow at him.

"What's that supposed to mean? Am I that ugly?"

"More like I am too busy with Siggy. And I guess you aren't ready either. Moving on from her mom is... hard. I would rather like a friend that doesn't want to see me naked or something from me other than company."

Joy smiled at nodded. "Good. I am not the best adept for that, but your funeral."

"Why do you think that?"

Telling him about her severe self-hate problems and antisocial lifestyle wasn't an option. So she decided to go another route. "Just saying that how we met isn't the best friendship set up. You don't usually see that in movies."

Bjorn shrugged and took a sip of his drink. "Well, this isn't a movie. Or do you see hidden cameras here, huh?"

"You got me there, Lothbrok. So tell me, neighbor... Where are you from?"

"My Dad lives in Kattegat, Mom, and sister in Hedeby. I lived in between and with Dad at the end. What about you?"

Joy played with a strand of her hair, bobbing her head to the end of "teenage dirtbag." 

How does she know who I am?

And why does she give a damn about me?

I've got two tickets to Iron Maiden, baby

Come with me Friday, don't say maybe

I'm just a teenage dirtbag, baby, like you

She looked down into her glass and smiled nostalgically. "We moved from Topeka, Kansas, to Oslo when Mom was pregnant with my big brother. Lived there ever since. So when the shit with Andrew was over, I moved here to Copenhagen. I figured big city, fewer people to know me. But I wanted a quieter neighborhood, so here I am."

"What about work? Do you work here in the city?" 

"Right now, nowhere. I used to bartend before, but right now, I do occasional work. Watching kids, cleaning houses, I tried gardening once. It ended badly."

"So that's why your lawn looks shitty." 

Joy gasped and hit the giggling Bjorn on the shoulder. "What's your job? Profesional asshole? Is that just part-time?"

"A hobby, really. I worked in my dad's company with Ubbe but didn't have time for Siggy. So now I am a personal trainer. So if you want to learn how to beat people up, tell me." She smiled at the invitation and clanged glasses with him.

"To a nice friendship between two idiots." 

"Skol!"

[x-dolly-parts-x]

Jealous

warnings🖤: mentions of cheating

a/n🖤: this is my first story on here so sorry if the formatting is bad!! this is a quick story that is honestly not my fav. but I just wanted to put this out cause yea! also I just want to say this is in no way meant to hate on Ashley/Halsey!!! shes just so happens to be Dominics girlfriend, and in this story she is a sort of bitch. its just a prompt thing I like (a best friend gets a partner that's bad for them, their relationship ends and the best friends reunite. its just something I really like!!) I hope you enjoy kittens~ 

*

Jealousy.

Thats what it was.

The sight of him, with her.

She would ruin him, everyone knew. Everyone except Dominic.

That was his only fault, he trusted to much. He always gave the benefit of the doubt. And often it ended up screwing him over. Thats why when he brought her along we knew it would end badly.

Ashley.

Who knew a name could fill someone with so much jealousy.

Ashley.

She was a bitxh. She sleeps around. Sells everyone out for popularity.

Ashley.

She's a bully. Though when there's the slightest hint she might get in trouble she's suddenly an angel.

Ashley.

Worst of all?

She has Dominic.

Dominic. She, of all people has him. It wasn't fair. Jealousy is obviously a factor in the disapproval of their relationship. But more was that we knew she would break his heart.

Dominic is strong willed, and always speaks his mind. But he takes things directly to heart. Its one of the reasons we get along.

Maybe Adam can help me get through to him.

*

"So Dominic..." Adam dragged out. Seriousness laced his voice slightly.

"Whats up?" Dominic ask blissful unaware.

"Can we talk to you about Ashley?" Adam carefully asked

"Um sure I guess. I don't understand why though." He said slightly taken aback by the question.

Tension was already growing. It made my stomach knot. I shifted slightly hoping to ease some of the tension I was feeling. It didn't work.

"Mate, listen. We know you like her, but she's no good. Im telling you nothing good is going to happen in this relationship." Adam rushed out. Like he needed to say the words before they escaped from his mind.

"What? I thought we were friends! She said you would say something line this to break us up!" Dominic said angrily as he stood up to leave.

"Dom wait! We're just looking out for you! We don't wanna see you get hurt by her!" I said as gently as I could. Though it wasn't very gentle at all. I stood as well grabbing his arm lightly, thinking maybe I could get him to stay. He is my best friend after all.

"Don't want to see me get hurt?! Bull shit! You two are just jealous! I'm done talking! And let me go!" He yelled as he pushed my hand towards me.

I stumbled back slightly. Dominic had never done something like that to me. Me and Adam watched as Dominic stormed off. I had to fight with myself to keep from crying, why am I so damn sensitive?

"Well that went lovely." Adam sighed.

*

Dominic hadn't been replying to messages lately, mine or Adams. He would just read them. He hasn't been eating lunch with us either.

It was strange. We were so close weeks ago, how could everything change so fast? I was so used to having him around, I never even thought that one day he wouldn't be.

Things felt so different. Adam and I still hung out. But it wasn't the same. Something about Dominic changes everything. Adam knew it too. Neither of us were willing to acknowledge it though.

It was worse at night. I was so accustomed to late night calls with him when we couldn't sleep. Sneaking out to stare at the stars when it wasn't raining. Hearing his breathing slow as he drifted off to sleep next to me.

It hurts. He was always supposed to be there for me, and I for him. But now? He couldn't even pick up the phone.

Does he think of me still? I thought about that question a lot.

No, he doesn't he has her now.

A sob broke through my body. I missed him. I miss my best friend. Having him tell me I'll be ok. Our hugs, friendly smiles, inside jokes, and giggles. They're just memories now

He is my best friend after all.

*

About two weeks have passed since Adam and I had that awful talk with Dominic. It was still radio static from Dominic.

Adam had given up messaging him after a relatively short time, maybe four days max. His reasoning was that if Dominic wanted to talk to us he would. He was right, I just didn't want to admit it to myself.

I still messaged everyday. Nothing to over the top just 'hey' or 'hi'. Of course it never got a response. Adam was right, if he wanted to talk he would.

The first day I stopped messaging him was hard. I wanted nothing more then to pick up my phone and tell him I miss him. But I was worried he'd think I didn't care about him anymore. I'm just being dramatic. Im sure he doesn't even notice I haven't messaged him.

*

The day after I hadn't messaged Dominic, I saw him looking at me. I brushed it off, I'm was sure he was just looking around the lunch room and we just happened to make eye contact. Nothing more.

Later in the halls Ashley was glaring daggers at me. She seemed upset with me. But what had I done? I'm sure it's because I tried to tell Dominic about how awful she is, but that was weeks ago. Was she really still angry? Well I'm still upset over it, so maybe it wasn't a stretch that she was still mad.

*

Three weeks.

It had been three weeks since I had spoken to Dominic.

My chest ached. He had moved on. Moved on from our friendship. Moved on from his friendship with Adam.

Moved on from me.

I was being selfish, I admit it. But who can blame me? I was truly worried he was going to get his heartbroken. But something wicked in me wanted him to feel like I did.

Heartbroken.

*

A few days later there was a quiet knock on my door. I was home alone, so I didn't open the door right away. I instead looked through the peephole to see Dominic looking down.

My heart stopped. He was here. I wanted to see him for so long. But now that he was here I had no idea what to do.

Carefully I opened the door. Neither of us speaking. Dominic still hadn't looked up.

After the initial shock faded I finally spoke, my voice barely louder then a whisper, "come in.".

He followed behind me as we went to my room. Like we had done thousands of times. But it was different this time. Everything felt heavy now.

"So..." I broke the silence turning to him.

He wasn't looking down now. His face was tear stained, tears still brimming his eyes threatening to fall.

"Hey, hey what's wrong?" I quickly pulled him into a hug. I couldn't stand seeing him cry.

He wrapped his arms around me, squeezing gently. Almost like he wanted to make sure I was real. I missed our hugs.

"God I'm so fuxking sorry! You were right! God I was so stupid! Please forgive me! I'm sorry! You both were right!" He rambled crying.

"Hey its ok. Tell me what happened." I say gently. I carefully pulled away from the hug, wiping a few tears from his face.

Then taking his hand so we could sit on my bed, which I assumed would be more comfortable.

"You were right. S-she cheated on me. God I'm so dumb. Why did I trust her? I should have listened to you. I just wa-anted to believe she was better then that." He let out, trying not to cry.

"You wanted her to be good. Its not your fault Dominic. You're not dumb." I say, gently rubbing his back, trying to calm him down.

"I am dumb. I pushed my friends away for a girl I barely knew. I pushed you away. God I'm so sorry, can you forgive me?" He asked looking at me with plea and desperation in his eyes.

"Dominic of course I forgive you. I could never stay mad at you." I tell him.

"Thank god." He said relived. Then quickly wrapped his arms around me in a tight hug.

"I missed you." He said quietly.

"I missed you more." I said back. Returning the hug and resting my head on his shoulder.

"I'll never leave you like that again." He said.

"Promise?" I asked. I wanted to belie him but I was scared. Scared of losing him again.

"I promise." He said pulling away, looking me in the eyes.

His gaze was gently, a mixture of sad, relived, and something I couldn't quite make out.

He leaned in gently pressing his lips to mine. My heart flutter, heat automatically rose to my cheeks. I kissed back. The kiss was gentle, loving. Like he was scared he was going to break me.

"Its me and you. I promise I'll never hurt you again." He said.

Sealing his promise with another kiss.

[infinitegalaxies420]

I am missing him extra. He cut back at work so at most I'll see him 2 days/week until this lockdown is over. He also has chosen to social distance and I can't be mad at him, but I can miss the hugs that always made everything better. There's something meaningful about hugging someone or being held by someone who just doesn't show affection to random people in their lives. He's a beautiful person and so smart. We've been playing World of Warcraft the past couple of nights after I get home from work and although it's not our normal we are spending time together. He's been helping me get through the game so I can play with him and it means so fucking much to me.

It's been almost a year since I realized I even liked him. We've been together for almost four months (holy shit) and he has taught me so much. He is way more patient and compassionate than I deserve. He makes me feel control when I'm spinning. He let's me just wig out and then when I calm down hes standing right next to me. There is a reason i don't date men (or really people) but men in particular very often. But he has broken all of that down. We dont have to agree on everything. But the things that are important are there. He listens to me, even when I dont make sense. And I just genuinely enjoy looking at his face, especially when hes been staring at me. I miss being wrapped in his warmth, but I still feel him around me all of the time.

I am so in love with him, but he doesnt know. We are taking it slow. We are building up because he doesnt know how to do this because he doesn't care about people generally and he cares for me so deeply. He's expressed it so many times in the deepest of ways. I'm scared to tell him because everyone I love leaves. I've always thought I knew love, but I've never felt this pit in the bottom of my stomach. I've never known what it meant to wait for someone. He's taught me a lot about time and patience. He chose me, for some fuxking reason he chose me. I dont know what he saw in me that he could never see in other people, but it's there. I am incredibly lucky.

There are things from my past relationship that still haunt me. He knows all about them. When I have something come up I tell him. I've been feeling again. He always tells me I'm smart enough and good enough when I get discouraged. He's becoming one of my best friends. I love him so much and I honestly can't wait to tell him, but I want him to realize he's in love with me first. Or to feel comfortable admitting it to himself. Lockdown has been difficult because I am scared for myself (being the only person in my household that has to leave) and being in the public surrounded by stupid germy people every single day. My biggest fear has always been time. I'm always afraid there wont be a next time. What if we didnt get more time? Do I have time to make him fall in love with me? Will we have time to make more memories together? I need our time. We always acted like we had all the time in the world.

[bunnis-babes]

What about Deku, Dabi, Bakugo, and Todo with an s/o who comes home with a tongue piercing and they don’t see it until she laughs or smth How would they react?

Warning: some, like, implied smexy stuff. It’s not too much but Izuku gets a tongue shoved in his mouth so... (I just wanted to make him blush :))

Deku

🥦He was just chilling in his dorm room working one some homework

🥦He wasn’t expecting his s/o to suddenly burst into his room with a huge smile on their face

🥦It wasn’t unwelcome, of course, but it was shocking

🥦”Iiiiiizu-kun! Guess what!” They said with a huge grin on their face

🥦”What s/o?”

🥦Whatever news they had it had to be good, they were awfully excited about it

🥦They hummed at him a mischievous look in their eyes

🥦They pulled his chair out from his desk and straddled him.

🥦Izuku was bright red already as she kissed him, roughly

🥦Then they shoved her tongue into his mouth

🥦Despite almost loosing consciousness, he felt the small metal ball rub against his tongue before they pulled away

🥦”You got your tongue pierced!” He said breathlessly in shock

🥦They nodded gleefully, “Yeah, but I probably shouldn’t have done what I just did... it’s still sensitive.”

🥦”Ah, well I enjoyed it a lot!”

🥦Izuku just broke himself...

🥦He’s pretty good with helping his s/o heal, he takes a lot of notes about the process just in case they get another in the future

🥦He will buy them a lot of fancy and pretty accessories for their tongue now.

Dabi

🌶This sly boy absolutely loves it

🌶Tbh, he probably was the one who brought it up and took them to get it done

🌶Suggested several other piercings for s/o to get

🌶”Dabi, I think this one will do for now.”

🌶The more piercings his s/o has the better

🌶He just thinks they’re hot and look good on just about anyone

🌶Now... if it’s a surprise that his s/o pierced their tongue...

🌶They better be prepared for a long night, cause dabi isn’t letting them out of his grasp until he’s satisfied

🌶The best one on this list with helping the piercing heal up.

🌶Knows what foods his s/o should eat and what they can and can’t do with their tongue

🌶Actually really considerate about what they do and really watchful

🌶He probably takes them to get a shitload of stuff for their tongue after it heals up

🌶AND he ACTUALLY PAYS FOR IT.

🌶W04H

Bakugou

💥This dense mother fucker doesn’t notice like... ?

💥He’s usually so observant of what his s/o does and he just... ?????

💥Like his s/o wanted him to find out on his own, but he’s just so dumb about it

💥They drop super obvious hints a lot of the time to, literally sticking their tongue out at him and he just... fails to notice

💥They get tired of waiting for him to figure it out soon

💥So they just sit him down

💥”Bakugou, baby I love you dearly... but you can be so slows sometimes...”

💥”What do ya mean by that shitty gir-!”

💥His s/o grabbed his finger and stuck it in their mouth

💥”Wha-!?”

💥They directly ran their piercing over the pad of his pointer finger

💥The pulled his finger out with a ‘pop’ and a grin.

💥”Surprise!” They said with jazz hands for a 👋Jazzy👋 effect

💥He coughed out an, “I like it...” while he tried, and failed, to hide his pink cheeks

💥Not... the best with healing, but tries

💥He kinda just forgets that they have the piercing and just, delves his tongue down their throat like theirs is totally not sensitive

💥Baku-babe needs to learn

Todoroki

❄️🔥He’s shaking.

❄️🔥And it ain’t because his quirk makes him cold (part of it at least)

❄️🔥He thinks that his s/o shouldn’t change a single thing about themselves, cause they’re perfect the way they are

❄️🔥But he cant deny he FUXKING LIVES for the piercing

❄️🔥He thinks it’s so pretty and likes to look at it and just loves them so much more now (somehow)

❄️🔥He has the deadest face when he does all of this though and it’s almost creepy... almost

❄️🔥He found out right away cause he saw the new little ball on their tongue and was like “S/o, what is that? Why is it there?”

❄️🔥”It’s just my piercing, do you like it.” “Yes I’m love.”

❄️🔥He has no idea what he’s doing when he tries to help with healing it

❄️🔥He tries his hardest and he’s super observant over any and everything they do remotely regarding their mouth.

❄️🔥10000000% buys them all the shit they could ever want and need for that pretty little tongue of theirs

❄️🔥He enjoys the hell out of it so much.

ㅡㅡㅡㅡㅡㅡㅡㅡㅡㅡㅡㅡㅡㅡㅡㅡㅡㅡㅡㅡㅡㅡㅡㅡㅡㅡㅡㅡㅡㅡㅡㅡㅡㅡㅡㅡㅡㅡㅡㅡ

THESE ARE ALL SO SHORT IM SORRY!!! I really loved this though, I’ve never had a tongue piercing before, but I’ve pierced my ear multiple times so I just... rolled with what I got from that.

I just realized that these went to them finding it out to a little bit more. Anyway HOPE YOU ENJOYED (๑╹ω╹๑ )

💙River💙

[randomdancingscenarios]

The Get Together

Smut

T.O.P Y/N Seungri

“ Y/N can you please put some clothes on before the guest arrive?” You stared your brother down. “ The last time I checked wearing shorts and a crop top were considered clothes.”

You retorted.

“ You know what I mean Y/N!” He begins to walk away but quickly turns to face you.

“And make yourself seen and not heard! I don’t want you annoying the guest!”

“Gasp! I would never.” You say sarcastically as you walk in your room to change.

You thought it would be funny to wear a unicorn onesie around the house all day just to piss your brother off. 15 minutes into wearing it and well before the guest arrived you start complaining and whining because “ The damn thing was hot and the zipper was broken.” Eventually you went back into your room to take it off, He figured you were changing.

***

The guest started to arrive, CL and G-Dragon were first to arrive, then the guys from Winner and the rest of Big Bang.

“ Hey Seungri where’s Y/N?” Seung Hyun asked. “ She’s around here somewhere... why?” To be honest he totally forgot about you. “ No reason, I just haven’t seen her around is all.” “ Shes probably inside somewhere. I don’t know do I look like her mother?” Hyung let out a chuckle. “ Nah man, I’m gonna hit the bathroom.” Hyung turned started to head towards the kitchen door. “ Alright, bring out some more ice when your done, and wash your hands!” Seungri yelled.

Hyung headed towards your room looking around to make sure Seungri wasn’t watching.

He finds you face down and fast asleep, the top half of your onesie was pulled down past your breast but the rest was still on. He might’ve assumed you died in the middle of changing if he didn’t know you took naps on your stomach. But still, he checked to make sure you were still breathing which woke you up. “ Are you okay Y/N?”

“ I’m really hot!” “ Is there anything I could help you with...?” “ This damn thing.” You say gesturing to the onesie. “Is it stuck?” He asked a little amused. “ That and I’m just lazy.” It was pretty damn stuck. But eventually you both managed to take it off. To his surprise you were only wearing the onesie. “ Oppa can you rub lotion on my back please?” You try to sound super cute. “ I’m super hot and I need it to cool down.”

He couldn’t say no to you especially when you called him oppa. So he went along with it. He went a little rough on your shoulders and back just to mess with you, but you didn’t seem to mind. He did this for a little while and he thought you had fallen asleep again, so he got up to leave but you stopped him “ LEGS.” He turned back around and sat down to rub your them. He moved the onesie that s draped over your legs and noticed you weren’t wearing any panties underneath. He teased you a little about it. “ It was too hot under that thing to wear any.” You say sticking out your tongue. He let out a little chuckle.

Anyways he got to work rubbing your legs and eventually he was around your lower thigh area. “ Higher.” You insisted. He went higher. Eventually there was no place “higher” apart from your ass. “Fuxk it” he thought and started massaging it, lightly and first. “ For real?” He started noticing two things, one, you were making a spot on the bed and two, you had a buttplug in. “ I cant believe you still piss in the bed Y/N.” He joked. You looked over your shoulder “ I’m turned on you ass!” “ I know that Y/N, its just kinda weird, you’re my best friends little sister.” “ You’re good at this Hyung, it’s unavoidable”. “And this thing has nothing to do with it?”. He tapped on the plug. “Oh, haha oops, i forgot”. “How do you forget you have something up your ass Y/N?”. “Its literally been in all day, I’m used to it”. “Okay, why were you wearing it to begin with?” “I don’t know I just felt like it”. “What the hell Y/N”. “Well, take it out if it bothers you so much Hyung”. “Okay, maybe I will”. He said not really thinking.

But suddenly you got up on your knees, sticking your ass towards him and pulled your ass cheeks open. He figured it was too late to back down now, so he put his hand on the plug and tried to figure what was the best way to gab it, it was pretty much flat against the rest of you ass so it took some digging. He started tugging on it. “Can you relax or something”. You exhaled slowly, and it just popped out. He held it as he watched your gaping hole close back up. “Put it down on something clean”. He put it on the nightstand. When h turned back to you you were laying down again. “Finish the job, I’m still hot”. He got back to work on your ass. You rolled over. The sudden and unexpected sight of your breast and wet vagina did things to him. “Do my hips and pelvic area next”. He couldn’t say no at this point, so he tried to massage around your hips and the small area between your stomach and vagina. “You don’t have to avoid my vaj Hyun, its not gonna kill you”.

“Fuxk it”. He thought again and just started rubbing your labia like it was everything else he previously massaged. He kinda subconsciously turned away. “Not so rough Hyung! Look at what you’re doing!”. So he turned back around and slowed down. “So Y/N, what am i doing exactly?” “I don’t know, you wanted to touch it”. “No, you wanted me to touch it”. “I didn’t ask you too Hyun”. “So... should I stop?”. “Do you want too?”. You asked as your heart pounded in your chest. “Don’t be like that Y/N”. You bite your lip. “Fine, keep rubbing”. He let go and let his hands explore your bits. You were redder than he has ever seen you. Which got him excited. He found himself digging in a little bit and trying to find your clit. As soon as he touched it you jumped. “Sorry, should I not do that?”. He sounded really concerned. “It’s fine, do it”. After saying that you grabbed one of the pillows and held it to your chest. He went back to finding your clit and as soon as he touched it you lost your composure in a way he has never seen. You were squirming and shaking trying to stifle your moans and your weird sounds.

“Okay, keep doing that until i tell you to stop”. You said before hiding your face in the pillow. He basically just rubbed and poked your clit while you squeaked and squirmed. God knows how much time had passed until you let out a sound you couldn’t stifle, your flesh stared pulsing around his fingers, and you suddenly became wetter. He figured that was the time to back down but he kept feeling the outside of your vagina. “That was amazing”. You said as you came down from your orgasm. “I should probably get back to the party before Seungri starts to wonder where I am”. He said getting up. You pulled him onto you and kissed his lips. “You’re right, we wouldn’t want him to find us like this”.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I’m on mobile so please forgive me.

Let me know what you think!!

Also i know I’ve been away but I’m back! I hope you like this one!!!

[bellarad]

Ok I'm like super disappointed with stranger things Pt 2.

Spoilers below

First off - it really fuxking bugs me that Will's gayness is a fucking plot device to further Mike and Eleven's relationship. I saw someone already write this and I 100% agree with them, it is really fucked up. Seeing Will's pain was so fucking hard, while Mike is completely oblivious that everything Will is saying about Eleven is really about himself.

Johnathan is an amazing brother and props to him for seeing so clearly what's going on and for talking to Will about it, albeit in a coded way, to let Will know he has his support. That was a beautiful moment, but the reasoning for it was really frustrating.

Second, I'm pissed that the fucking series didn't just end. I was hoping that pt. 2 would be like 4-6 more episodes that just ended the goddamn series and brought everythkng together. Season 3 was an absolute shit show, filled with plot holes and r*pey vibes and poor plotline in general. I really hoped season 4 would be the end bc S4 Pt 1. was pretty good in tying everything together in a way that would lead to a solid finish.

Instead we ended on this fucking grey note with Hawkins in the midst of perishing.

The whole Russian story line really bothers me because of how many inconsistencies there are. It is well established that the only way to kill a demagogue is with fire. In Pt. 1, Hopper spears one in the face and it only slows it down. Cut to part 2 where there is a demagogue writhing on a table, and apparently ONE FUCKING SHOT TO THE FACE kills it entirely. Despite a scene just before showing 4 people lighting up one demagogue with machine guns and it doing fuck all.

Next, we see Hopper guiding a demagogue towards the "arena" (which... the other demagogue escaped from without issue... and yet according to their plan it's supposed to contain them...), Hopper gets tackled by the DG, and Joyce comes out with a tazer and kills it??? Knocks it out???? Either way, it's TOTALLY fucking inconsistent! How do bullets not slow it down, but a tazer knocks it out cold?!?!??!

Then when all the DGs are finally in the arena, Murray lights them up and they all perish except one, which Hopper then proceeds to slice up with a SWORD that was just COVERED IN FLAMES

HELLO, HOW ARE YOU NOT GETTING 2ND DEGREE BURNS ON YOUR HANDS

AND ALSO MURRAY IS STILL RIGHT THERE WITH A FLAME THROWER WHY CAN HE NOT JUST FIRE THE DG AGAIN

RIDICULOUS!!! BULLSHIT!!!!!!!

I'm angry that Eddie died bc he was cute af and amazing and did not get enough screen time, but at least his death was more believable than Dr. Brennan who was STILL ALIVE AND SPEAKING WITH A FUCKING SHOT DIRECTLY THROUGH HIS CHEST, EXIT WOUND AND ALL

I'm sorry, but as a nursing student the medical issues in this show piss me off so much. Seeing a nurse stick a needle unto Eleven's arm at a 90deg angle when it's long enough to go through the full width of her arm is fucking insane. They just stabbed a 3in needle through her neck and you're trying to tell me you didn't go straight through the vein and into her esophagus??

I was really hopeful that things would be better than season 3 because Pt. 1 was pretty solid apart from a few minor details. But I'm so frustrated that this is how shit ended. Duffer Bros need to get their SHIT TOGETHER

[xerospaced]

So i was curious as to whether a meltdown could be catatonic

As I feel, on an emotional level, that I am having a meltdown but rather than the crying/rocking/moaning/stimming/hyperventilating and what have you

I'm stuck

Like i managed to sit up to plug my phone in coz an hour or so ago coz it hit 1%

But otherwise I've been locked in this position for about 4 hours.

So anyway, I google catatonic meltdown to see if it's a thing

Lo and behold!

Not only is it a thing

But I've been having catatonic episodes for weeks IF NOT MONTHS

The lack of initiation, agitation, limited movement, limited speech, slowness (and I mean wow fucking slowness!! Im moving so slow I am losing literal HOURS without realising it)...

Ykno what

Lemme just post a screencap of the list of presentations

And... it is presentations in autism - I was searching meltdowns so makes sense

What I'm saying is that I have [and have had in various combinations over the past weeks/months] ALL OF THESE FUCKING SYMPTOMS

Even down to the grimacing ayfkm

And the only reason I even noticed the grimacing was coz i realised it was happening a few weeks ago but couldn't seem to stop it and I thought it was fucking odd.

Aggression and difficulty initiating actions CHECK AND FUCKING CHECK- it's getting our of hand.

Hesitations. Repetitive movements! My back is FUCKED coz i can't maintain a suitable seated position for longer than im stuxk thinking about it.

I legit feel like I'm losing my grip on reality. Like I'm not here.

Weirdly... scary to know this is it's own thing I'm experiencing. Daunting. But also - I've been dealing with this my whole life. No exaggeration. Sometimes I have months where I'm clear. But I would say I experience at least half of any one of these given symptoms at any given time.

That's....

Incredibly fucking upsetting if I'm honest.

I kept thinking that one day I would just figure it out.

I will be able to move when I want to. Eat when I should. Pull myself away from my interests when I wish. Not lost untold time getting stuck repeating the same motion with no end goal. Urinate when my bladder is full rather than the last second where my body is right about to override my fuggen brain! Work when I want to work!

But the aggression. These past days. I put it down to PMS - I'm sure it's played it's part. But last weeks. The consistent agitation. The inability to perform any necessary task. Falling behind on my work. The absolutely NOTHING mood. But agitation gnawing away consistently.

I feel like a powder keg.

I have no support.

I have no diagnosis [it's become impossible to believe that I'm wrong about my suspicions of ASD at this point].

I have no idea how to manage it.

And all the live long day it's "try this and try this and figure this out" and I just want to fucking scream because my brain is NOT WORKING!

What's the solution that fixes the line between I WANT to do something and me Actually doing it!?

I want to play sims but even something I actively enjoy I miss out on because I can not initiate action.

Yes, I find it easier to accomplish tasks when I am around people. BUT I AM ALONE 95% OF THE TIME. Soon to be something closer to 99.

SO.......!!??

And I feel guilty

I feel shitty

I'm underperforming!

I work quickly and to a high standard but I'm lagging because I can't start. Or I do start but I can't maintain course.

Im still stuck in the same twisted position as when I started typing this 20 mins ago and I'm sure it hurts but I cant even tell if it hurts anymore.

I can't remember what natural hunger feels like. I'm talking ravenous or nothing - mostly nothing.

And there's been so much going on lately.

And all I'm hearing is what I'm not doing.

What I need to improve.

Where I'm falling short.

Do more. Do More. DO MORE.

My moods are shifting too quick for me to log them. Not that it matters anyway coz I lack the ability to initiate that fucking task too.

There are so many things I want to do. And I know exactly how I want to be living. And I know (from the short few months in which I actually managed it) how good it feels to live the way I want.

But I can't make it happen.

I can't even decide if I should feed myself rn.

All this shit going on has not had me mentally stressed - at points, I'm not exactly big on stressing or worrying - but what has become undeniable is that it has fucked me on a functional basis.

I'm not steering the ship. And I don't know how to take control.

And I'm on a fucking 11 month waiting list for an autism assessment.

When I say life has been Hard.

The ADHD that was only diagnosed last year, the likely undiagnosed ASD, also diagnosed last year was the autoimmune connective tissue disease. Major depressive disorder. Multiple forms of anxiety. The misdiagnosed bpd. And then IF WE REALLY HAVE TO let's add on the self-harm, failed suicide attempt(s), ostracisation, emotional abuse, physical abuse, being literally left for dead, the plethora of hospitalizations as a child, childhood emotional neglect, abandonment, overlooked behavioural issues, teenage self-medicating, bullying, and fuggen MORE

I mean

Life

Is

Fuxking

HARD.

With a brain and a body that won't connect (and is also trying to destroy me for shits and giggles).

And I'm still wanting to keep going.

At this point... purely out of spite.

Because fuck this hand I've been dealt. But Fuck Me if I'm not a sharp son of a bitch! Ima play the fuck out of em.

Almost 27 years I've dragged myself through misery and I'm still in it.

I refuse to tap out now. I got no choice but to make it worth something. To make it matter. To make my existence mean more than a stupid fucking mistake the universe has been trying to erase.

I gotta be in this for Something.

This can't be all life has to give me.

Surely.