#they just make me feel the opposite of joy and whimsy

[maxthesillyy]

there was once a time where going into the LIS tag caused me heart palpitations. then there was a time were everything was joy and whimsy and silly… now i’m back to heart palpitations

[your-local-uwu-artist]

it was suggested I post this to the tags as well >:D

fuck it ima tag @transcendence-au as well because tbh I'm very proud of my silly little animation

some me being a nerd under the cut!

okay so this all started when I read the original post this was inspired by and though 'wouldn't it be silly to add some art to this 3 year old post?' but then I decided to animate it for funsies!

and gosh I sure do love animating!

So I got the base sketch and then got into the lineart animation for each component!

i don't have the sketches/wips saved at all sense this wasn't really a project and it took less than a day to complete. but here's a peak at the timeline

I animate entirely in my ususal drawing software: clip studio paint. It's just what's easiest for me.

all of these layers outside that folder are just the sparkles! after I finished I added some sparkles for fun! there's a lot of them because it involved a lot of copy and pasting sparkle layers

the bottom folders here are the wings body and facial expression! for everything like the wings arms and flags I was able to just copy paste, reverse, and then align the timing correctly in the timeline

one thing unique about this animation is that the lineart and colors are in separate layers! I tend to do line and colors on the same layer but this time I was using a brush that doesn't have the same lack of anti-aliasing and sense it's a small animation I wasn't as worried about keeping a minimum of layers like usual.

also the movement of the body is only 4 frames! and one one of those is just the hat shifting position

initially I wasn't going to have the second facial expression but when I got stuck on animating the flags I added the second facial expression while taking a break.

the arm animation is just 8 frames! honestly the only tricky part in this is the flags, everything else was pretty simple, which made it super fun to work on because I got both a challenge and mindless therapeutic drawing out of it.

NOW THE FLAGS there was 3 throw away attempts before I got it: you see the thing that made this tricky is finding the balance between believability and visual appeal. a big part of animation is creating the illusion of physics, this is the 'believability' part, I need these to look like flags that are moving and made of flat fabric, HOWEVER if I animate these one-to-one with realistic physics: it won't look good! I can't apply wind to the whole drawing because then the hair would have to react, and wind goes one way, and I wan't the flags to be pointing opposite directions. so without wind the flags would be laying down flat, but that won't look good at all! and furthermore realistic physics would have the flag not being all nice and front facing most of the time. so the trick here was figuring out how much physics to apply to make it look believable, while still making it look good.

one trick I did to help me animate the flags is I actually made a plan rectangle flag as a guide so that the general mass/volume of the flag would stay consistent, this is something i highly recommend when animating! like having a circle guide along a characters head to keep their height and proportions consistent.

after I finally found the balance with the flag lineart coloring wasn't too hard! sense I just had to follow the lines, and THANK GOODNESS the trans and aroace flag have the same number of stripes: saving me time!

and then it all comes together to make a satisfying perfectly looping bundle of cuteness >:DDD I feel like the tau fandom doesn't have as many artists with particularly cartoony/chibi art styles so I've gotta play my part in spreading the joy-whimsy-adorable-sillys >:D

anyway! hope you get to see a cool beetle today :D

[fem-the-artist]

Since I’m putting Danny and Timmy in the same universe for this AU, where their cousins, I’m going to bend the rules a bit since fairies are a bit broken when it comes to abilities 

And we’re following more of the rules of the Danny phantom universe than the fairly odd parents one since it’s more linear and consistent in terms of world building

General things 

-fairies in ghosts are not the same (obviously) things that are made to capture, weaken, or be resistant to ghosts have no effect on fairies 

-Using the explanation from a glitch in time of how ghosts are manifestations of human emotions/I have a rough idea of how fairies could be similar yet different

-essentially fairies manifest to fulfill human desire. Specifically those of children, since they’re is the most unfiltered and thus much stronger.  essentially fairies, manifest, and take the appearance of what a child desperately wants.

Ex: for Timmy, because because his relationship with his parents is less than ideal, Cosmo and Wanda manifested the way they did as pseudo parents for him

Other examples of how fairies could potentially manifest if Tootie had a fairy she would manifest to fulfill an older sister role since the one she has is nasty an awful

For Remy it’s a little more complicated because though he craves the love of his parents, he also craves to have somebody to listen to him and do what he says so Juandisimo feels more of the role of a nanny/butler,  someone who cares for him yet is also obligated to stay by his side 

-as for magic, I’m absolutely nerfing the hell out of it some of the standard rules are still in place can’t harm or kill. Can’t wish to get rid of anybody else’s fairies, can’t use them to win a competition.  no love related wishes etc.

-It’s implied that fairies can only create things and not destroy them so I’m going to just state that as fact here, and in terms of creating for this au what a fairy creates with magic is essentially like a solid illusion  which might not make sense, so let me explain it like this

If you were to wish for a roller coaster even though it’s just a solid illusion, it would feel exactly like a real roller coaster and you wouldn’t be able to tell the difference, but when wishing for some thing like food, you could bite into it, it just wouldn’t taste like anything and you wouldn’t feel any fuller eating it

-Fairies don’t understand how humans work. They don’t understand why food is necessary or how they need to breathe or even some social cues. 

-like ghosts fairies aren’t entirely solid so they can pass through things like walls. Very easily fairies, however cannot turn invisible, which is why they have the ability to shape shift.  tho some ghost can shape shift to it takes effort on their part for a fairy shape shifting is as natural as breathing to a human. 

-fairies are not malicious by nature quite the opposite and they thrive on whimsy and joy which is why they only reveal themselves to children (fairies have a large dislike towards adults since they’re the ones that usually pull children back reality, which can stop out there whimsy)

-fairies are extremely cautious when it comes to revealing themselves most ghosts don’t have a problem with being in broad daylight, or making themselves known, but because fairies are more docile creatures, they avoid any attention that could fall on them 

-fairies are mysterious and almost completely unheard of in terms of their actual nature. Those individuals like Crocker, who want to hunt fairies, and prove that they’re real still exist. They are much far and few between unlike ghost hunters, since ghosts have been proven to be real unlike fairies. 

Getting kind of dark for a second

-fairies can be dangerous, if a fairy deems a child’s situation to be too terrible for them to bear the fairy might just steal the child away (fairies don’t know how humans work much less how to take care of a child, though they are good companions, that can help children through difficult times, when a fairy decides to take things into their own hands, and take a child from their caretakers it’s most likely that the child will not survive considering a Fairy’s lack of knowledge when it comes to actual caregiving and human  necessities)

[moomkin77]

Fic Author Q&A

@ussjellyfish Thanks for tagging me!

1. Why do you write fanfic?

So, I publish under the same name as my tumblr profile (Moomkin_77!) and I honestly haven’t done that many fics. I’ve had ideas in the past for sure, but I’m a prose writer first and foremost and work on my own content, so funnily enough fanfics feel a little daunting to me. I think it’s because when I want to write a good fic, I want the characters to feel in-character (unless the goal is the opposite of course), which can be harder compared to creating my own characters who I already know the inner workings of. But mainly I started writing fanfiction because I love Moomin Valley, and I wanted to translate more of that wholesome happiness it brings me into something I’ve created and can then share with other people.

2. Which of your posted stories do you think about the most, even though the story is "finished"?

I’m bad at finishing things lol, but the Moomin Valley fic I’ve started is one I think about frequently. Chapter 2 is nearly done and I’m excited to share it!

3. If you could give yourself fic advice from when you first started writing fic, what would that advice be?

Just have fun with it. Take your time. I started writing my fic because I wanted something that made me happy with no pressure attached, so don’t pressure yourself. If you fall in writer’s block, you’ll find the inspiration you need in time. Just keep that love that got you to start the fic in the back of your mind and you’ll be alright. People that really love you and your writing will find the patience they need too.

4. What's your relationship to fic stats?

Uhhh, I honestly don’t pay attention to them ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

5. Is there a pairing or scenario or friendship you miss writing? If so, why? If not, why not?

Moomintroll/Snufkin are my beloveds, and if I ever find the inspiration and courage, I’d love to write Steve Harrington/Eddie Munson as well.

6. Why do you write for the fandom(s) that you write for?

Like I said before, Moominvalley makes me happy. It’s sweet and fun and full of so much kindness, whether it’s the comics, the cartoons, the video game, or the newer show from 2019. There’s a sort of whimsy to it that nothing else I’ve encountered captures and it brings me unspeakable joy. It’s that feeling in my chest that I want to keep, so how better to do that then write about it?

7. If you're stuck writing a WIP, what do you do?

Go watch the content material again, or read other fanfics in that fandom. One of my favorite Moominvalley fics is The Quest for Snufkin’s Memories by DigitalThespian and the writing is just so beautiful and the story so perfect for the fandom that it brings me joy every time I go back and read it.

And sometimes you just gotta take a break if you’re stuck. Don’t stress yourself out over it, give yourself a chance to breathe and think about what you wanna do.

8. What do you wish people knew about comments?

So, for me comments are the absolute. Even just a heart emoji. As an author, peer workshop classes were where you got to hear all the feedback from your classmates, and I always had a great time hearing what my friends thought of my writing as I worked to improve it. Comments that I leave on fics are where I pour my heart out when I read something that I really loved, so seeing people return that always makes me happy.

9. Maybe there's a question you wish had been on here. What's that questions (and answer)?

Question: As an author who doesn’t veer much into writing fanfiction (I’d rather just read it lol) what do you enjoy most about fanfiction as a media separate from regular prose?

Answer. I think what I enjoy the most is that it takes books, shows, movies, etc. we already know and love, and explores more about them. It creates more stories to love out of stories we already love, branching off in ways that the original author might never have considered. It’s just so fun and creative, and when I finally manage to publish my own novels, I think what I’m probably most excited for is to see what sort of fanfiction people will (hopefully) write about my own works 🩵

Thanks for this! It was fun 🥰

@steddieasshegoes @thetriggeredhappy @justakittenatheart

[delicateteenagerunaway]

I have entered a rabbit hole of synastry...

So, I recently fell down the fascinating rabbit hole of astrology and decided to dive headfirst into the mystical world of synastry! Buckle up because I've stumbled upon an astrological discovery that's blowing my mind! 🌟✨ Turns out, according to the cosmic dance of the stars, my birth chart is compatible with none other than Boyd Holbrook's chart! 🔮

I know, it sounds like a delightful delusion, but bear with me!

Disclaimer: Before we dive in, let me make it clear that my calculations are based on wild speculation about Boyd Holbrook's birth chart (which can be found here: https://www.astrotheme.com/astrology/Boyd_Holbrook ). But hey, let's have some fun with it, shall we?

So, after some playful chart comparisons, I couldn't help but notice some intriguing alignments between our celestial signatures. It's like the stars conspired to create some cosmic connections that are too amusing to ignore! 😄🔮

For starters, before I started diving more into synastry, I already had some hints of compatibility in our charts such our Venus, Mars and Rising signs matching one another (based on his chart he’s an Aquarius Rising while I am an Aquarius Venus and he’s a Cancer Mars while I am a Cancer Rising). These aspects in astrology can indicate that basically he embodies the ideal of beauty for me, while his Mars indicates strong attraction to the energy of my rising. However, our Sun / Mercury signs are in opposition, which can hint at a love-hate type of situation (the downfall of being with your sister sign). Furthermore, our Moons, Venus, and Jupiter placements seem to be in a celestial symphony of harmony by conjuncting one another. It's like the universe is saying, 'Hey, you two, here's a cosmic recipe for emotional connection and artistic understanding!' 🌙💖✨

Now, here's where it gets interesting. As I explored the houses, I couldn't help but notice that some of his placements seem to fall right into my fourth house. It's like a cosmic hug of comfort! His sun in my fourth house, conjunction with my Virgo IC, which brings a sense of familiarity and warmth (potentially explains why I find him to be such a comfort person).

And let's not forget the planets that reside in our eighth and fifth houses. It's as if the universe is nudging us towards mutual understanding in artistic endeavors and emotional bonds.

Call it starry coincidence or just pure cosmic mischief, but I'm totally embracing my astrological delusions from here on out! So, I'm strapping on my imaginary starry boots and surrendering to the whimsical dance of the planets. Let's embrace the magic, the laughter, and the sweet enchantment that astrology can bring into our lives! After all, who needs reality when you can revel in the playful wonders of the universe?

Now, I must make it clear that all of this is good fun and pure speculation. I'm not about to give up on life and become delusional solely for the sake of astrology compatibility, even if it feels like a Pedro Pascal-level crush. 😅 That being said, I want to take a moment to emphasize my respect for Boyd Holbrook's personal life and his relationship with his wife (to whom I own my life because she’s the one providing with constant updates of our boy).

While astrology can be an entertaining exploration, it's essential to remember the boundaries of reality and respect the commitments and relationships of others. Love and connection come in many forms, and we can appreciate the cosmic alignments without crossing any lines.

It's truly fascinating and funny how our charts seem to have some compatible aspects. Let's celebrate the whimsy of astrology, embrace the magic of connections, and enjoy this delightful cosmic dance! It does give some insight was to why we might like certain public personalities and honestly, I feel that can be something cute of course if done in its limits.

Remember, this is all about having a good laugh, finding joy in the mysterious, and exploring the playful wonders of the universe. So, let's embrace the fun, revel in the starry tales, and keep the cosmic relations alive! 💫💕✨"

[lonesome-pear]

Ok but like. This post got me thinking. I think life’s purpose is both something we will never know and something we can create for ourselves. What if my purpose was purely to bring joy? What if I made the universe empty and uncaring for the sake of longevity, which was not just not my purpose, but the complete opposite? What if life really is just about those little fleeting moments of whimsy? I think it is. I truly believe my one purpose here is to bring joy to other people. Not in a “I’m gonna be a doormat who does nothing but people please” kind of way, but in a “life is hard enough, let’s make it easier for each other” kind of way

The thought of going against that for the sake of. What. Not being forgotten? Not dying? What does that do? Does it prove something? Does it fulfill me? Why would I do it if there’s no reason. Out of curiosity? I don’t think I could justify that, and I do many things just for the sake of “what would it be like?” So idk. Maybe I’ll go laminate a paper towel. Because the universe imploding and leaving only me feels like a very specific kind of hell

I live not for the sake of living, but for the things that happen in life. I decide to get up in the morning not because it extends my life, but because maybe I’ll get to see my friends that day. Hell, maybe I’ll even make them laugh. Maybe they’ll see me and immediately run over to me just to talk for a few minutes while they wait for a ride home. Maybe I’ll bring them a small moment of joy. Maybe that little moment of joy came at a time where they didn’t know those happen anymore. And maybe they’ll do the same for me, because we love each other and we want to make our lives easier for each other

Maybe my friends will make me laugh. Maybe I’ll see them and immediately run up to them just to talk for a few minutes before I go home. Who knows. Maybe the universe continues to exist because I decided to get up and go have moments of genuine connection. Even if they don’t last. Even if they are fleeting. It still mattered. I had a purpose. I might come to end, but the impact those small moments had won’t

Because then my friends will keep going. They’ll get up in the morning and decide to go spread joy to their other friends. And those people will bring happiness to their other friends. And it just keeps going. And some of them will have kids and teach them to do the same. And it just keeps going

So maybe the universe isn’t cold and uncaring. Because how could a universe so uncaring have people in it that are so loving. How could a universe so cold have moments and smiles so warm. How could choosing to be immortal preserve your longevity any more than being remembered for the comfort you brought to others. If you were left alone in the universe, all that would be left is you and it would be a self fulfilling prophecy of having no impact on anything, at least not anymore. But if you choose to live life. Then you could have such a great impact that changes the course of everything forever for the better, even if it’s only a little bit better

Anyway I don’t really have a point here, it’s late at night and I’ve been feeling very existential lately

Or maybe it’s just a laminated paper towel

I laminated a paper towel

[odetoagirl]

an icarian type of mind

i think i might be manic again, on the up, home alleviates a lot of the personal stress and allows me some reprise that it didnt when i used to live here. it helps me surface from the drowning depression, and makes me feel a little bit more capable. im not sure what it is, a little routine, external discipline, a fridge i dont have to fill and clothes that reappear clean. probably all three. it is a blessing i recognised but never understood like i do now. a pattern i have recognised it that when i return home, my first week or so is merely recovery, taking a breath of air and experiencing waves of relief that exhaust me. the bone deep ache after you put the weight down that you never noticed whilst you held it. the following week, i am inundated with requests for my company, which i schedule accordingly, and perfectly this aligns with a reignited energy and a reintroduction of joy to my mind. i retain my depth and a visible, distinguishing heaviness, but it is accompanied now by a particular lightness to accompany it, a little healed, a person capable of musing and amusing. icarus, free from prison, has shaken off the sea spray weighing him down, and now begins, joyfully, spectacularly to rise. slowly (rapidly), does this escalate into a nuclear whimsy, which might hope to infinitely fuel itself. extroversion becomes gregarious charm, a kiss from the gods, infinite things to say and think and ask and wonder. attentive, observant, infinitely observant, numb to fatigue. a sense of mythology creeps into the ego and i find myself inspired, energised and in love with the world; the thoughts never leave me but i feel a little bravery, which is infinite to the consuming cowardice of the month before, and i can turn from the darkness that had consumed me, and believe i might be able to overcome it or that it might never touch me again. every time it feels true, this time i wont fall back, i feel the love and joy and excitement of life, everything around me is eclectic and electric, i feel the vibrations of everything, and do anything i wish. everyone is an opportunity, and people feel so simple and interconnected. everything is an opportunity. it is a funny thing to know of your own bipolarity, because i know, in one mind that this is the infinite cycle i am trapped in, to bask in the glow of the sun and burn up, to hit the water and start to drown, but i do not know it at all. i cannot unconvince myself each and every time that this is the time it lasts, i feel it in my bones, it aches as the truth does, the hope is maybe as debilitating as the feeling itself.

maybe i dont mind living in extremes, perhaps it was what i was born to do. nothing about me is in moderation, anything that appears so is merely the illusion of two simultaneous opposites. it feels perhaps like the realest way to live, to touch the tip of both ends, what experience might i find in the middle that could not be found more intense at either end. i feel like i touch things few people see. the insight is worth the unrest, the karmic turbulence. when the gods are not kissing me, they leave me to grapple with my own mortality. would i consider bipolar desperate existential depression the side effect of the delights i am granted within hypomania? perhaps - the universe within me must too abide by the newtonian laws. i think about this and grit my teeth as i approach the sun, inevitabley, already preparing for the impact of the water. instead i should forget it all and just enjoy the glow of warmth and maintain my childlike faith; i will become the sun, and the planets with revolve around me.

see similar patterns elsewhere; eating, sleeping,

im am trying whilst writing this to seem normal and rational instead of grandiose and arrogant and illusionary. i know i fail, i know as i progress it emerges in leaps and bounds. i dont actually know where though, i can feel it but not identify it, i cant remove it, and i dont know how to tell you anything in any other way.

[lemonboyfest]

reminders

reminders for 2024:

You’re not dead yet. Get the fuck up. Drag your corpse kicking and screaming into tomorrow. One day you will stop surviving and start living

more studying, more walks, more reading, more skill-based hobbies, more experimenting w pretty fits and hairstyles, more gym, more exploring new things in general, more whole foods/healthy recipes, more financial literacy, more time management, more time off the phone, more being out the loop. nothing else matters

hrmm. well hold on now ive been filled with a sudden joy and whimsy for the world

Glowing kind of love

fuck beauty standards. someone looking at you with love in their eyes is the most beautiful thing in the world.

as a girl who is literally just a girl i am always yearning. always longing always missing always wearing my heart on my sleeve. always feeling like my heart is on the verge of exploding. the sight of the sun makes me cry. anyway

i hope that when i die there will be an apartment with everyone i’ve ever loved in it and we are together always

read a lot and read everything

film and art and music are what builds ur soul

be outside

love and romance will not come to you any quicker if you are focused on it constantly

possessions don't improve things

movement does improve things

university is <4 years of the rest of your life - make the most of it

find the pleasure in hard work

lose the pleasure in scrolling

creation is essential

joy, love & intelligence are the tenets of life

stagnation isn't inevitable. no person is in a fixed state. you can always change

i love listening to someone’s favorite song its like im mentally holding their hand

you just had an epiphany about your sexuality? just own it. you like this unpopular thing your friends don’t like? just own it. you’re trans? just own it. you’re doing something unconventional? just own it. you’re completely free to share your reasons, but you don’t have to justify why you made the decisions you made. if you disclose something and a friend makes a face, okay well that’s too bad bc that’s who you are. they’re free to leave if what makes you a person doesn’t sit right w them. you don’t need to explain the why and the how and the when as if you’re trying to outrun their disapproval. be confident enough in yourself that you don’t feel the need to owe anyone an explanation. you’re you and that’s that.

what im learning is that you cannot avoid your way into a life you enjoy

i have the opposite of that “everyone is an npc” mentality people have embraced where i’m instead like. the person next to me in line has someone they can��t wait to go home to, the person picking up their mail has felt devastation before, everyone in this grocery store is doing their sunday shopping, maybe the person that just honked at me is having the worst day of their life, my neighbor has doctors appointments and favorite foods and a song they can’t stand to hear anymore… you are all fully realized complex people and that is overwhelming me on a spiritual level…

"omg you'll post 'i need him' on the most average men" "she's mid" most of us are average and it's good that we can find beauty and desire in average people .... on god FELT. i really need to start practicing this though. i get so complacent in my complacence i listen to my friends and i try so hard to fit in i insult people for no reason there is so much more to them than their aesthetics and if i do not find them attractive then what is to say someone else doesn't why do i feel the need to invalidate why am i rude ? people are all beautiful i need to remind myself . changing

[syrinq]

me, thinking about how a lot of human behaviours don't make any fucking sense to me, but the context around it makes me understand why such behaviours exist, but nonetheless, why

me, also a fan of making lists to get my thoughts in order: time to make a list of human behaviours i don't understand because they're stupid, nonsensical or just whacky :)

1. growing up in school and witnessing how fellow kids would change their attitude depending on hanging with a "girl" or a "boy"

2. calling people who do horrendous things "inhuman" or "past their humanity". my guy humans are inherently neutral, whether they do bad or good they're still a human? get out of here

3. the entire "beating around the bush" and not saying it straight if someone wants x or y or talk about z

4. the entire "being polite" crap speech. "oh i had fun but it's getting late!" brother can't you just say "i'm god awful tired i need to fuck off home and sleep". fucking awful this

5. the entire marketing crap. NINE OUTTA TEN DENTISTS APPROVE OF THIS. THE BEST IN THE WORLD! MAKES YOUR SOCKS POP OFF! lies. all of them. LIES

6. the psychology between pricing things 2.99 or a whole ass 3. Fuck you I HATE YOU FOR INVENTING 1, 2 AND 5 CENTS. AWFUL THIS!

7. pretentious symbolism behind colours, shapes, etc. it's True some evoke feeling, but to establish that as a ground rule is fucking bullshit. byeeeeeee

8. when someone gets shat on by eg. a bully and then they become the very same thing in the end. like okay champ you're doing so good

9. the reactionary sequences of big events in the world, eg. art periods, revolutions, etc. consequential reactions tend to be the same, the same but Amplified to Hell, the complete opposite, the complete opposite but sprinkle in Big Disdain for what once was. and then the cycle keeps repeating like a broken record?

10. the generalisation of a group of people, animals, things, whatever the fuck, whether positive or negative. like ok buddy chum "i'm not racist but..."

11. fads, fashion, supreme whatever. growing up poor and then when you get all that cash money $$$ spending it on gucci bags for the status. where's the whimsy and joy of actually enjoying what you get

12. ouhhhhhh i'm a company with soooooo much moneyyyyy let's squeeze out more money from these pesky binge watchers and these actors who totally didn't consent to their image being remade by ai!!!! DIE

13. ouhhhh humanity is so smart ouhhh yeah objectively the smartest on this planet but we still dumb as rocks!!!!! stop acting like we'll make mass effect real or prevail despite everything!!!! hell naw!!!!!

14. the need to humanise things or give them human features to invoke more "empathy" and "understanding" for something. my guy do we really need green smurf space human to sympathise with em??? I WANT MORE STORIES EXPLORING POSSIBLY HUMANITY OR THE ALIEN FROM A NON-HUMANOID PERSPECTIVE. PLEASE. I THIRST FOR THIS. I AM SICK OF YOUR DAINTY PRINCESSES AND WEIRD ALIEN SUPERMEN WITH AWFUL ROCK HARD TITS

15. whatever the fuck is going on with cocomelon

16. bitches fighting like petty 13yo xbox gamers calling each other slurs over some piece of land, oil, other resource, whatever in the world. and then they bomb each other like it'll solve anything. ok

17. categorisation of humanity in whatever boxes and labels that exist, to the point of being ultra-ultra-ultra specific. zodiacs, labels, etc. like brah i'm just a faggot on the internet. let me chill

18. regarding oneself as a "mommy" or "daddy" or "parent" to one's pet, and essentially roleplaying as their pet that they love their mommy and daddy sooooooo much :3 JESSE PINKMAN IN DA HOUUUUUUSSSEEEEEEEEEEE

19. continuation, regarding pets and/or kids as lesser than you or as things to be changed to your liking??? buy a barbie doll instead??? christ almighty on a stick

20. the need to comprehend everything through a human lens of understanding, eg. relativity theory, but then regarding those as 100% the truth whilst not really standing still and thinking that'd be the truth from a human perspective. and not necessarily the true truth. i still think time stopping at the speed of light is bullshit

21. the pettiness of kids and weird old-fashioned people in general for being "not the norm" or "not being able to be a cog in the machine". die maybe

22. the entire body language thing. ouhhh if a girl likes you she'll twirl her hair and look at you with her twinkling orbs and giggle at every grand joke you make even if they aren't funny 🥹 if someone crosses their arms they have a closed unwelcoming aura! unspoken silences and hints and nuances or whatever! have we ever heard of Talking. Please

23. the irony in someone being against x, but then being x themselves possibly. eg. someone terrified of their partner cheating and mistrusting them all the time, is themselves a cheater. and the opposite of that, someone joking about killing someone and then they never could hurt a fly. lol what my brain hurts

24. whatever the fuck "gender roles" and other "expected roles" are for someone based on gender, age, culture, religion, whatever. just treat people like people! sheesh!

25. society as a whole at this point. byeeeeeeeeeee

26. oh yeah whatever collectors have going on with nibs and insisting things are better when the package is left untouched and pristine and mint. not even to resell just to stare and look at. alright none of my business but what the fuck

27. gossip and small talk. oh hiiii how's it going with you? oh yeah the weather sucks absolute penis. (child emperor sitting on a throne) BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOORING!

[symptoms-syndrome]

Just rambling about what made me cry today. No TWs apply I don't think.

I don't remember how I got on the topic, but a lot of today's therapy was talking about media I enjoy and don't enjoy. I said I feel really bad about not enjoying children's media. I just can't. Disney stuff, kids cartoons, most ghibli, all this sort of stuff I see a lot of other trauma survivors gravitate to just makes me feel angry, irritated, upset. My brother playfully teased the other day that I don't like whimsy, and I guess that's kinda true. There are exceptions, but for the most part I just can't watch media that feels like it's for kids. I tried to watch Steven Universe at one point for a friend, but I got the same sort of reaction, it's like frustration.

And it sort of tied to this idea that like. I don't like feeling like a child. Childhood doesn't hold any positivity for me. "Simple joy" is how my therapist phrased it. I see a lot of other people find this sort of simple joy in children's media, or caring for ones inner child in a traditional sense. Blankets and stuffed animals and cartoons. And I just feel really upset that I can't have that. I wish I could have that simple joy feeling. Even writing about it now makes me tear up. And I know that most people who do enjoy that kind of stuff also had bad childhoods. So I don't know what makes me different. But it also makes me feel pretentious. Like I'm "too good" for children's media and plushies and stuff. Which I don't think I am. I have stuffed animals and everything. I just can't associate them with childhood. I know the whole idea of like. Creating a childhood you didn't have. But that seems so pointless to me. I have no desire or reason to return to childhood, unless I was able to actually, genuinely put aside my adult responsibilities, which I do not have the privilege to do.

And we talked a little about the media I DID enjoy as a child. Ofc there's sonic, but also Zelda. I read a lot of Grimm and Hans Christian Andersen type fairy tales, the original ones. I was really really into those. And a lot of the themes were like...bleakness. The societies and worlds of the stories I consumed and then imitated in my own writing were fueled by injustice and corruption. The heroes often stood out for being good people. A lot of fairy tale retellings and disney movies and stuff for kids have like. A good, happy society that's threatened by an outside source, but a lot of the media I found comfort in was the opposite, an unjust world with select few heroes who fought against it. A big formula for a lot of fairy tales I grew up reading was that there was a protagonist that everyone thought was stupid, and people who set seemingly impossible goals for him and then changed the goalposts whenever he managed to achieve them. Stories like the White Cat and Blockhead Hans. I can't do it the other way around. A world that seems safe and peaceful is one that gives me immense anxiety.

And I wish I wasn't like this. Even now, I can't play simple joy games like Stardew Valley or Animal Crossing. I mean I can, they just don't really bring me that much joy. They don't hold my interest. They feel really pointless. The world in those games is already safe. Sure I guess you need to pay off loans or clean up your farm but there's not really consequences if you don't. Majora's Mask had your consequence hanging over your head 24/7, threatening to destroy the world once your timer was up. Twilight Princess had the townspeople you knew turn against you when you changed your form, and the looming danger of Twilight. And the gameplay always had purpose. You solved puzzles and fought things because you had to. Even the media I watched, when I was able to watch things, was dark. I never really watched cartoons or sesame street or anything like that. Not in my memory at least. My birth mom never really put anything on for me, my birth dad just watched whatever he wanted without paying much mind to whether it was appropriate for me, or said that I needed to be cultured and well rounded or whatever and that kids stuff would just rot my brain. Everything I watched or consumed had to have some sort of purpose to him.

IDK it's really. Complicated. I was both closely monitored and my media was closely curated, but I was also sort of neglected in that sense.

The TLDR is. I wish I could have what I see other people have. I wish I could regress into some childlike simple joy with some kids cartoons and blankets and plushies. But whenever I try I either end up feeling stupid or freak out about it. Or both. I don't want to be dark and gritty. I like fun. In fact, I feel like my favorite genres have kind of been ruined by turning too dark and gritty. I really like fun heist movies, for example. Stuff like Now You See Me. I like comedy. I obviously like Sonic, though a lot of Sonic is darker than people think. I don't want to come off like a pretentious dick who can't watch a ghibli movie because it's below them.

[jasmariswonderland]

Better late than never, but finally, here is Crisanta’s birthday interview! I hope you all enjoy getting to know her better! Warning: dad jokes ahead. 

~~~

Yuulan: Happy Birthday!

Crisanta: Thankies, Yuu-chan! Hope you’re having fun! 

Y: How are you feeling having everyone celebrate you today?

C: It feels great! I’m fully enjoying myself but I’ve been feeling a little warm since the party started.

Y: Really? Is your birthday outfit uncomfortable?

C: Oh no, not at all. I feel warm because everyone keeps toasting me! 

Y: Toasting…you…oh…oh! *realizes the joke and begins laughing*

C: *laughing too* That’s what I love, seeing people laugh. Doubly so when I can be the cause of that laughter! I feel there’s few things in the world as wonderful as true, genuine laughter. But not the cruel kind that comes at someone else’s expense, laughter that comes from joy.

Y: Making people laugh seems to be a gift of yours. But since it’s your birthday, you should be the one receiving gifts. Have you received any today?

C: Many in fact! Lots of drawing supplies and game pieces. I also got a super cute card and letter from my litter sister, I can’t wait to see her again on my next break from school. But would you like to know what’s been the best thing I’ve received today?

Y: Sure, tell me. 

C: *giggles* Another year of age! 

~~~

Y: Whenever I see you, you’re always doodling in your sketchbook. What are your favorite things to draw?

C: There are a lot of things I love to draw, generally, I just love to create things. But if I had to choose, I love to draw people, portraits. 

Y: Is there a reason you enjoy portrait-drawing best?

C: Art is made up of the fascinating and beautiful and when I draw someone, I have an up close view of what makes them unique. In order to fully capture their likeness, I end up noticing little things about them that I might not have at first, like putting together the pieces of a puzzle, another thing I enjoy doing. 

Y: You like puzzles?

C: And board games in general, but puzzles are my favorite because they challenge the artistic side of my brain. Since a puzzle is basically a picture you have to put together and if you put it together wrong, it looks weird. 

Y: Ah I see, but back to your drawing, is there a portrait you’ve made that you particularly like? 

C: As an artist, I find something I love about everything I draw so that’s a tough one! I think my portrait of Riddle-san was very good. Apparently he thought so too because when he caught me drawing him, when I was supposed to be studying, I didn’t lose my head! Trey-san even commented on how well I had captured his likeness. But I was given a warning not to be caught drawing during dorm study hour again so I’m much more careful about it now. 

Y: Hehe, I understand. 

C: But if I had to choose, the portrait I’m currently making has been my favorite so far! I’m still in the early stages but once it’s done, it will be so beautiful! 

Y: Really? Who is it a portrait of?

C: It’s…uh…*blushes*...actually, I’m sorry, but that’s a secret! 

~~~

Y: What’s your favorite food?

C: I love sweet things, especially mini sweets. Cupcakes, petit fours, tartlets, things like that! I love them because they’re easy to eat and I can use my hands. And they’re so cute! Like flowers or jewels. Most of my magicam feed is made up of the cute little treats we have for our unbirthday parties at Heartslabyul. 

Y: What’s your least favorite food?

C: Sour candies, because sour is the opposite of sweet. Something about them just don’t really vibe with my tastebuds because in my mind, I’m thinking candies should be sweet. I’m not a big fan of bitter candies for the same reason. 

Y: With your love of sweets, I’m guessing you feel pretty at home in Heartslabyul then.

C: Yeah, I love my dorm and Trey-san makes the best sweets! But I also love my dormmates too. We all look out for each other and Riddle-san really does care about us, even if he can be uber strict at times. There’s a sense of whimsy when you enter through the gates of our dorm that’s kind of infectious when you think about it. Even with the mountain of rules. And best of all, I have frequent access to all of my favorite foods! 

Y: Be sure not to eat too many though.  

C: Hehe, don’t worry, Yuu-chan! It’s my birthday, remember? And you know, birthdays are good for your health. It’s science in fact! 

Y: Really? Why?

C: Because, people who have more birthdays always live longer! 

Y: *laughing* I will remember that! Once again, happy birthday! 

(A/N: Groovy art is a WIP but would show Crisanta in her room after the birthday party, opening the present Ione gave her)

[willowbird]

HEY for the prompt game: au 7, trope 3 (i love chaos), and very specific location 2? i'll leave the pairing up to your whimsy i just saw the combination of au and trope and HAD to request it lmao

Foxes as kids, foxes WITH kids, INSIDE ANDREW'S CLOSET.

Guys guys guys there were SO MANY WAYS I wanted to do this that my brain kinda exploded for a moment before I decided to go this route. Hope you enjoy!

---

"Oh no oh no oh no oh no!!!!!”

Andrew looked up at the ceiling, where the small, modern chandelier above the kitchen island swung in time with the distressed shouts and several ominous thumps. He looked over to where his husband was flipping pancakes and rose a single brow in question.

Neil shrugged, as if to say 'How should I know?'

A brief staring contest ensued, continued chaos still racketing upstairs. Finally, Andrew lifted one hand and curled it into a fist. Neil lifted his own, and after a brief round of rock-paper-scissors Andrew sighed to his loss and pushed away from the counter.

Neil caught the edge of his shirt as he passed him, tugging him in for a quick kiss. "I'll put extra chocolate chips in the pancakes."

"Bribery is unnecessary when you won fair and square," Andrew grumbled back.

Neil raised his eyebrows. "You turning down more chocolate? I mean okay, if you're-"

Andrew cut him off with a kiss. "Too late to take it back." Then he turned and headed out of the kitchen, only to be nearly mowed down by a wide-eyed eight-year-old.

"Watch yourself there, Kev," Andrew cautioned as he prevented the gangly child from sending them both to the ground.

The kid's big bottle-green eyes were wide with alarm. "Dad! He's going bonkers! I dunno what's wrong with him." He wrinkled his nose. "Well, there is a lot wrong with him. But I mean I don't know what's wrong with him today."

Andrew sighed, more because he was pretty sure he did know what was going rather than because he didn't. It was honestly better if Kevin just thought his brother was being weirder than usual for as long as possible. He had a feeling that if Kevin could get any leverage on his spazzy older brother he'd turn into even more of a terror than he already was.

Andrew ruffled his younger son's hair and gave him a nudge. "I'll check on him. Go help your dad with breakfast."

Kevin perked up. "Pancakes?"

"Pancakes," Andrew confirmed with a solemn nod.

"Do you think dad'll make one in the silhouette of a dead French guy?!”

"If you ask him, maybe."

That's all it took, and the kid was taking off like a shot again. Andrew watched him go, grimacing at the thought that they would probably have to enroll him in sports this year if only to help him burn off all that damned energy. He was just as bad as Neil.

A scampering upstairs followed by the slam of a door drew Andrew's attention back to matter at hand. The slammed door did not come from either of the boys' rooms, but rather the opposite end of the hall, where Neil and Andrew's room was. In all, this wasn't all that surprising - at least not when it came to his fourteen-year-old. He'd been hiding in Andrew and Neil's closet whenever he got particularly upset since he was four and Neil had performed a "magic ritual" to make the closet a "bunker against all evil".

Andrew climbed the steps and made his way down the hall, stopping once he came to the closed closet door. From inside he could hear the muffled mutterings of an anxious teenager. He lifted a hand and knocked with just two knuckles.

When there was no answer, he knocked again and asked, voice mild, "Can I come in?"

Then he waited, giving his son time to process that he was here for him, whatever the issue was. Almost a full minute passed before a tight, watery voice said, "Y-you can come in."

Permission granted, Andrew swung open the door to find Nicky curled up in the corner, cheeks flushed and brown eyes full of tears. Nicky was technically Andrew's much younger cousin on his biological mother's side, but he and Neil had adopted him when, at two, DCFS took him away from his parents due to a severe case of neglect. The first few years had been tense - because Luther and Maria had tried to fight it - but Andrew's adoptive mother was a child psychologist and Neil's foster sister a renowned family lawyer.

Even without the connections they would have fought to the death to keep Nicky, though. From the second they brought him home, he was theirs, and they were the only real parents the boy had ever known.

"H-hey pops," Nicky stammered through a poorly-attempted smile.

Andrew waved away the bravado and took a seat next to his son. "Should I talk to Grandpa Wymack about getting us a bigger closet? We aren't both going to fit in here much longer," he said lightly, a soft opening for Nicky to tell him what had him so upset.

Nicky laughed, a more genuine sound, then sniffed and rubbed at his eyes. "N-no. I'm sorry. I just..."

Andrew shook his head to stop him. "I would rather pay to have the closet expanded than take away a place you feel safe when you are upset."

As he watched, tears filled Nicky's eyes again, then he launched forward and it was honestly probably a good thing that the closet was a tight fit, otherwise Andrew might have gotten knocked over by the force of the hug. As it were, he was able to catch his son, patting his back only slightly awkwardly as Nicky let out a choked sob and began to ramble:

"..and then I told him that I liked his EARS oh my god Pops I am such a MORON why couldn't I tell him that I liked his eyes like a normal human or even that I liked his mouth or something!? That's sexy right? Oh my god this is terrible. And then! AND THEN I went and I liked about ten of his posts IN A ROW LIKE A CREEP and he NOTICED and then he MESSAGED ME and oh my god I can never show my face again.."

There was very little that Andrew could do other than listen, so that was what he did. As he did, though, he felt a warmth pool in his chest. A warmth that his son felt so safe and comfortable in his and Neil's space that he came here to hide when he felt upset. A warmth that he felt so comfortable, so safe with Andrew that he invited him into that space with him. That his son would cling to him and ramble about his boy problems without fear of judgement. That the biggest problems Nicky had right now were typical teenaged woes, not all the horrors that both Andrew and his husband were far too aware of existing in the world.

"I just don't know what to DO. Oh my god my life is OVER," Nicky finished with a flourish, pulling back and looking up at him with wide dark eyes.

After a thoughtful pause, Andrew finally gave a hum and said, "Well, that depends."

"Depends?"

Andrew shrugged. "Does he really have cute ears?"

Nicky made and high, defeated sound, burying his face in his hands. "They are ADORABLE, Pops. A-dor-a-ble."

"Ah." Andrew nodded his understanding and patted his son on the shoulder. "Then I think that definitely calls for extra chocolate chips in the pancakes."

And, because Nicky was a teenaged boy with boy problems - but he was also still a teenaged boy (and moreover, he was Andrew's son), his head went up and his eyes brightened. "Chocolate chips."

"And whipped cream."

"Oh!" Nicky scrambled to his feet and bounded out of the closet with a flourish, only to come up short when Andrew snagged the back of his shirt.

"And Nicky, those crashes from before..?"

Nicky blushed brightly and glanced out the bedroom door toward his own room and quickly back again. "Um.. I'll clean up after breakfast?"

Andrew put on his most impactful Dad Stare, then gave a firm nod before letting go. "You better. Now hurry on before Kevin eats them all."

Nicky yelped in an entirely new kind of distress, all but sprinting out of the room. "KEVIN DON'T YOU DARE YOU LITTLE MONSTER!"

Andrew watched him go and didn't bother to stop the smile that crawled onto his face from a hidden chamber somewhere in the center of his heart. There was once a time he might have resisted it, when he was younger and wounded and angry, his teeth bared against a world that had only ever hurt him. Now, though? Now there was so much fierce, protective warmth inside of him - so much pride, so much adoration, so much love, that he no longer saw the expression of joy as a sign of weakness.

Shouts and scuffling downstairs pulled him out of his thoughts and he sighed to himself, but he was still wearing the smile as he headed down to breakfast.

[thesublemon]

planning ≠ coherence

I talk a big game about liking coherence in art, and it’s probably clear that I have an apophenic tendency to enjoy textual interpretation. And this might lead people to think that I have a preference for carefully planned and plotted art, or that I look down on the messy and improvisational. But this is actually almost the opposite of the case. Not because I don’t really like coherence, but because artistic coherence is something more complicated than planning, and isn’t even necessarily possible to achieve with planning.

The thing about improvisation, is that at its best it’s about finding the choice that feels right. I listen to jazz more than any other kind of music, and one of the reasons I like it so much is the exhilaration of someone landing on a musical idea that simultaneously makes a song feel bigger and more complete. A solo isn’t fun if it’s just a bunch of disconnected ideas (similar to how whimsy isn’t fun if it doesn’t also “work”). It’s fun if it picks up on the things that the other players are doing, or ideas that showed up earlier in the song, and then makes them feel like they go together. Even if they “go together” in the sense of being coherently discordant, eg repeating ideas that don’t work multiple times. If beauty is fit, then the joy of improv is finding fit in unexpected places.

This goes for narrative too. In long-running stories like comics, book series, and TV shows, much is often made about whether certain choices were planned from the beginning. If things were planned, that’s a reason for praise, and if things weren’t planned, that’s a reason for derision, either towards the showrunners or towards people attempting to interpret the work. Say, “This plot point only happened because an actor wanted to leave the show. Therefore it has no meaning to read into.” But making things up as one goes is not what makes a story lose its plot, so to speak. Making things up is only a problem if the things the artist makes up don’t go with what came before.

In Impro, a very excellent book about the craft of improvisation, Keith Johnstone calls this process of making-things-go-with-what-came-before “re-incorporation”:

The improviser has to be like a man walking backwards. He sees where he has been, but he pays no attention to the future. His story can take him anywhere, but he must still ‘balance’ it, and give it shape, by remembering incidents that have been shelved and reincorporating them.

Johnstone is big on the idea that satisfying narrative depends on a sense of structure, and that reincorporation is one of the most important tactics for creating structure. To paraphrase him, a story where a character runs away from a bear, swims across lake, and finds a woman in a cabin on the other side, and “makes passionate love” to her has no structure. It’s just a series of events. Whereas if the bear then knocks the cabin’s door down and the woman cries out that it’s her lover, then suddenly it feels like a story. Because not only has the bear been reincorporated, it has been linked to the woman. From this perspective, if a story has no sense of reincorporation, or new developments don’t make sense with what came before, then it will feel incoherent, no matter how planned out it was.

I also keep thinking about Paul Bouissac’s discussion of gags and narrative in The Semiotics of Clowns and Clowning. He explains that what makes a scene funny is not whether it strings a bunch of gags together, but how those gags are organized. To use an example from the book, it’s one thing for a clown to pretend to hurt its thumb, and ask for an audience member to kiss it. It’s another thing for it to keep hurting different parts and then finally hurt its groin and act scandalized at the idea that someone might kiss it. Bouissac calls this sort of repetition “anaphor”:

Anaphor is one of the main tools of textual consistency. In linguistics, it designates the use of pronouns or any other indexical units to refer back to another word or phrase in the text. It links together parts of sentences and bridges the grammatical gaps between clauses, which is a consequence of the linearity of language. In rhetoric, anaphors are repetitions of words or structures that build up the cohesion of discourse and create momentum toward a climax. In multimodal communication, words, gestures, objects, or musical tunes can play the same role by reminding the receiver—that is, the spectator in the case of a performance—of signs and events produced earlier in the act.

One of the things that fascinated me about Farscape as a teenager, was that in contrast to other scifi of the time, it made no pretenses of having been planned—unlike say, Babylon 5. Or even shows like The X-Files, Lost, or Battlestar Galactica that gave you the “feeling” of a plan whether or not they had one, or were capable of following through. Farscape felt incredibly coherent, both in terms of theme and plot, but this coherence came about purely on the strength of the writing’s ability to ideate and then reincorporate. It would take someone’s weird costume idea, like the villain having glowing rods that screw inside his head, and snowball that into a whole storyline where the villain is a half breed of one hot-blooded race and one cold-blooded race, and can only stay alive by thermo-regulating the inside of his brain. And then decide that his vendetta against the hot-blooded race has motivated his obsession with the protagonist since the first season. Yet these twists never feel like “ret-conning” in a pejorative sense, because it all feels narratively and thematically sensible. (Unsurprisingly, making the show was described as “more like improv jazz than plotting out a symphony”).

None of which is to say that I dislike planning or polish, either. Stephen King, as a so-called “discovery” writer, famously writes off the cuff, without outlines. As he puts it in On Writing:

You may wonder where plot is in all this. The answer—my answer, anyway—is nowhere. I won’t try to convince you that I’ve never plotted any more than I’d try to convince you that I’ve never told a lie, but I do both as infrequently as possible. I distrust plot for two reasons: first, because our lives are largely plotless, even when you add in all our reasonable precautions and careful planning; and second, because I believe plotting and the spontaneity of real creation aren’t compatible. It’s best that I be as clear about this as I can—I want you to understand that my basic belief about the making of stories is that they pretty much make themselves. The job of the writer is to give them a place to grow (and to transcribe them, of course).

But his best stories feel like whatever bloat might have been generated from this narrative improvisation has then been pared down to what that improvisation was really getting at. And I can’t lie, I get a particular joy from reading or watching something and feeling without a doubt that the artist is in complete control of my experience. It was one of the most gratifying aspects of rewatching The Wire recently: the feeling that the little meanings and foreshadowings I was seeing in each choice were almost certainly intended. Nothing is more satisfying to an apopheniac than feeling like the patterns you see are actually real. And nothing is more annoying than a story that tries to pull some sort of reveal on you (“Dan is gossip girl!” “Angel is Twilight!” “Rey is a Palpatine!”) that doesn’t make any sense because it wasn’t intended from the beginning. Just because those characters existed in the story before, doesn’t make it good reincorporation. So if a story is a story because of structure, then if the choice is between a planned structure and no structure, the former is almost certainly going to be better.

Point is, it’s not really the process that matters. All creativity is improvisational in a sense, because all creativity involves making things up. What matters is how dedicated an artist is to the integrity of their work. If a writer has carefully planned their whole story out, with every twist and every theme clearly in mind, but can’t adapt if they start writing and find out that something they planned doesn’t actually work, that’s one kind of failure mode. The narrative equivalent of designing a perfect castle and then building it on a swamp. On the other hand, if a writer tries to go with the flow, but can’t reincorporate that flow, then that will be another failure mode. To the extent that I respond to improvisational art, it’s because improvisational art is often more attuned to these questions of whether something is moment-to-moment right. But what matters, above all, is the rightness. That’s what defines coherence. Whether there is a sense in the work that it is oriented around something, and whether the choices contribute to that something.

[harryseyebrows]

Fine Line - Track-by-track rating

I’m in the mood to start shit. So here it is. My comprehensive album rating list. Rating subcategories should be self-explanatory, but I’m judging based on lyrics, how listen-able the song is overall, how interesting it is in terms of JUST sound, and crafting/production/my perceived idea of how well done the entire song is in terms of all the elements combined. Think about the effort that Liam put into his album vs. the effort Harry put into SOTT. What was written and created with intent and what was created maybe more for the sake of creating. Then, I did ACTUAL MATH and came up with an overall score out of ten. Read with caution and yell at me if you feel the need.

Golden:

Lyrics - 7/10 

“I know that you’re scared because I’m so open” is fantastic and it’s great to see him literally being more open with his songwriting, but he loses some points for the general repetitive nature and more common turns of phrase.  

General listen-ability - 10/10

It’s an easy song to listen to, whether you’re putting it on for background noise, listening while driving, or listening specifically with the intent of paying attention and enjoying.

Sonic intrigue - 8/10 

The slower beginning and then the slam into the guitars and drums is great. It flows nicely and has a good pace/rhythm.

Crafting - 9/10

Overall: 34/40 = 8.5/10

Watermelon Sugar: 

Lyrics - 6/10 

Nothing particularly thrilling. It’s a generally fun song with some lyrics that are suggestive but not overtly so. Good to know that he’s enthusiastic about oral, but again, it’s not his finest lyrical work. 

General listen-ability - 8/10

Another more easy listening track. Good for any time. A fun, sexy little bop.

Sonic intrigue - 7/10

The horns and bass line save this song from otherwise being a bit lackluster in terms of production, and make it interesting in a subtle, understated way that’s very enjoyable.

Crafting - 8/10

Overall: 29/40 = 7.3/10 

Adore You:

Lyrics - 7/10

Kinda cliche and corny; “I get so lost inside your eyes”. Otherwise, very fun and leans heavily into a more pop lens. Makes up for it with “You don’t have to say you love me / You don’t have to say nothing / You don’t have to say you’re mine” and the “Oh honey”s.

General listen-ability - 10/10

I want to listen to this song all day every day. There has to be something in the soundwaves that’s brainwashing me. Can’t stop won’t stop.

Sonic intrigue - 9/10

At first glance (listen) it’s a very basic sort of pop song. But the more you listen, you realize that it’s rooted in a more funk-style guitar lick and utilizes synths in a way that doesn’t come off as too manufactured or ‘fake’. It’s layered; you find more and more complexity with each spin.

Crafting - 9/10

Overall: 35/40 = 8.8/10

Lights Up:

Lyrics - 8/10

The lyrical structure, if you look at it on paper, could easily be read as some type of poetry. The song opens with a question: ‘What do you mean?’ and then proceeds to offer fragments of sentences that aren’t necessarily connected, but somehow offer a cohesive picture — a message that’s still a little unclear but offers multiple interpretations in meaning. 

General listen-ability - 9/10 

It’s fun and boppy but also surprisingly mellow. For me personally, the tempo and bass mean that it can be hit or miss in terms of how/when I want to listen to it, but for the most part, I don’t skip it. This might also have to do with it being the first song we heard from him since HS1, and I might have overkilled it a bit.

Sonic intrigue - 8/10 

It’s hard to not compare this song to his work on HS1, for the reasons above. HS1 was definitely more rock-oriented; more bare bones production and an ode to the more classic methods of music making ie singer, guitar, bass, and drums. Whereas with this song, it was essentially a complete 180 in style and production, with a little flair of R&B style music while maintaining his classic air of whimsy in both the lyrics and his less-frequently-used breathy head voice. Sometimes I still find it hard to believe that it’s a Harry Styles song.

Crafting - 8/10 

Overall: 33/40 = 8.3/10 

Cherry: 

Lyrics - 8/10

One of Harry’s many talents is his ability to project tone with the combination of how he sings/emotes with his voice with the lyrics he’s singing. This song is no exception. It’s a sadder, more melancholic song, where he’s expressing some less-than-pleasant feelings, and you’re not only getting that from the words he’s singing, but HOW he’s singing it. It allows the listening to feel and empathize. It’s something he’s very masterful at. (See: the opposite would be something like Adore You, which under the guise of a more upbeat song, the lyrics are actually kind of sad and grovel-y)

General listen-ability - 7/10 

I respect his artistic vision and the choice to include the voice note but as part of a general playlist, it can come off a little odd and out of place. Otherwise it’s very palatable. It just makes me sad, so I don’t often intentionally put it on to listen.

Sonic intrigue - 7/10 

I liken this to a FTDT style song. Very raw. More singer-songwriter than pop. Some very lovely guitar playing and it’s nice hearing him sing in a register that’s been essentially neglected up until this album. But for the most part, I don’t think it’s his most interesting work. Very typical singer-songwriter guitar type song. 

Crafting - 8/10 

Overall: 30/40 = 7.5/10 

Falling: 

Lyrics - 7/10 

I enjoy and appreciate his honesty, and perhaps there’s something to be said about the lack of flowery turns of phrase, but I just don’t feel like this is his most clever work. Again, great to see him being so honest, but it sounds like the extended version of If I Could Fly. 

General listen-ability - 6/10 

I can’t allow this to randomly come on shuffle without putting myself at risk of a depressive spiral. That’s where he loses points. 

Sonic intrigue - 7/10 

Every album has one, and this is it. The Basic Song. So widely palatable that it’s...boring. Shoot me, I know.

Crafting - 8/10 

Overall: 28/40 = 7/10

To Be So Lonely: 

Lyrics - 9/10 

Currently, with just HS1 and Fine Line under his belt, THIS song is his lyrical Magnum Opus. It’s honest. It showcases an intriguing narrative. It’s clever. It’s fun. It’s a little sad. This is Harry and his amalgamation of musical influences mixed up in a bowl, poured into a pan, and baked into a perfect cake with frosting flowers. 

General listen-ability - 8/10 

This is another one of those songs that you can have on in the background and it fits into whatever you’re doing, or you put it on specifically to scream ‘arrogant son of a bitch’ back at him. It’s versatile.

Sonic intrigue - 10/10 

The production on this song is clean but also a little rough around the edges, and I think it was done intentionally. You can hear the buzz of guitar and bass strings. There are peaks and troughs of volume. It has a sneaky little swinging beat that makes it impossible to not bop your head along with it. Again, it’s INTERESTING.

Crafting - 10/10 

Overall: 37/40 = 9.3/10 

She: 

Lyrics - 8/10 

I’m afraid to say anything negative about this song because I don’t want to be executed, but here goes. I think it offers a fun, interesting narrative on the first few listens. It’s a story; a little fantastical and sultry. But for me, it feels a bit like Woman 2.0

General listen-ability - 7/10

I have to be in the right mood to put it on specifically, so otherwise, it’s one that I won’t necessarily skip, but I prefer to have it on when I want to listen to slower music. Also kudos to Mitchell but the guitar wank at the end is just a little on the long side. 

Sonic intrigue - 8/10 

This is definitely a stylistic callback to the overall sound of HS1, and for that reason, I think it offers a nice bit of continuity. 

Crafting - 8/10 

Overall: 31/40 = 7.8/10 

Sunflower Vol. 6:

Lyrics - 9/10 

The story! The atmosphere! The pure, unbridled joy it offers! KISS IN THE KITCHEN LIKE IT’S A DANCEFLOOR!!!! I’m offended at how cute this song is. More men need to write songs like this.

General listen-ability - 9/10

This song instantly puts me in a happier mood. I don’t feel like a car ride is complete without listening to it at least once. It’s textural. I love it.

Sonic intrigue - 9/10 

The backwards audio in the beginning. The weird bass. The vocal layering. The nonsense ad libs at the end!!!! FUN!!!!

Crafting - 10/10

Overall: 37/40 = 9.3/10 

Canyon Moon: 

Lyrics - 8/10 

This song is deceptive — underneath the cheery, more jovial sound, it actually has some more echo-y melancholy notes — the ‘So hard to leave it / that’s what I always do’ and ‘I’m going home’s. It’s about reminiscing but still moving forward. Reflecting!! 

General listen-ability - 9/10 

Could easily fit in on a romcom soundtrack, and I mean that in the best way. 

Sonic intrigue - 7/10 

If I didn’t know that he specifically sought out Joni Mitchell’s dulcimers for this, it would feel just like any other upbeat guitar song, but I DO know his process behind it, so his score gets bumped a bit.

Crafting - 9/10

Overall: 33/40 = 8.3/10

Treat People With Kindness: 

Lyrics - 7/10 

Ohhh Harry Styles. He just wants people to be nice to each other! And maybe be a utopian society cult leader. It’s okay. We love him anyway. This song is full of idealisms; perhaps it’s a toe-dip into social commentary. Perhaps it’s a reflection of his own life, on dealing with friendships and loss and the overall nature of being a person. Who knows! It’s a batshit extravaganza in the best way.

General listen-ability - 8/10 

If you can listen to this song without wanting to dance...you have a problem. 

Sonic intrigue - 9/10 

This song is all over the place but in a very thoughtful, cohesive way. It would not be the same if he sang the chorus; half of what makes it so charming is that he doesn’t, and instead, he sounds like some sort of unhinged ring-leader at the end, demanding ‘one more time’ and screaming. UNHINGED BUT MAKE IT JOYFUL.

Crafting - 9/10

Overall: 33/40 = 8.3/10

Fine Line: 

Lyrics - 9/10 

This song doesn’t have many lines, but the ones that do exist, are all purposeful and pack an incredible punch. It would be a disservice to him to try and pick a ‘best’ one, but ‘Put a price on emotion / I’m looking for something to buy’ and ‘my hand’s at risk / I’ll fold’ are up there as two of my favorite things he’s ever written. The repetitiveness of ‘we’ll be a fine line’ can be a little grating, but I find that to be entirely dependent on my mood, and not any fault of his own. 

General listen-ability - 8/10 

I put this on when I want to disassociate. Not ideal for when I’m driving down the highway, but what can you do.

Sonic intrigue - 10/10

One of the most, if not THE most, beautiful pieces of music he’s ever put out. Nothing more or less can be said. 

Crafting - 10/10 

Overall: 37/40 = 9.3/10 

[iglooface]

Gonna vent a little bit cuz my brain is hurty and I don't feel confident enough to bother anyone in particular

Behold, like my sixth massive depressive episode this year; and there will be more

I feel ugly inside and out because of how I grew up and it's so messed up I don't even know where to begin.

In short, I grew up with everyone hating me, and the people who didn't either got slaughtered by life or by themselves. I was close with plants and animals (still am) because they weren't malicious like people were. Been self aware for a long time insomuch it's made my therapists drop me as a project under the idea that I can't be fixed because I won't let go of reality. The last several years have been a severely drugged and depressing time as I've watched my own life go down the drain.

I used to have a life force and now I'm just an empty oil pot with my contents spilled and dry. Like honestly? I feel disgusting and I don't feel like I belong in my skin. Skin is a very trapped feeling to me and I hate it. Skin is so restricting. I hate having it. I got made fun of a lot when I was younger because of my skin so now I'm ashamed to have it.

Growing up as a walking corpse wasn't easy. I got sick when I was just so young. So much blood loss and so many burns leading up to me being ghostly pale and light sensitive. My dark purple hands didn't help either. I'm so cold to the touch and it isn't fair. But hey, now I'm used to coughing up blood clots regularly. It feels normal. I expect it. Unfortunate enough to say, but blood is such a familiar smell and taste and feeling. I prefer my blood over my skin. I know bleeding out is bad but I can't help but be fascinated by the morbidness of it.

I got along with snakes better than people, even spiders and rats. The moss didn't care that I was living or dead. The moss never cared.

Getting older, I never cared either. My emotions got away from me and live outside of me. All I had was teeth, blood, and claws to keep myself together. I'm not bothered by gore. It just your insides out. I don't mind rummaging through corpses and carcasses like my life depends on it.

I would draw for fun as a kid. I was imaginative and talented and I was growing.

But then others happened to me. I was harassed and mocked and ridiculed for liking and participating in something so whimsical as a child. That was it. I was a child and people hated it. They all had to point out that I was insignificant and meaningless; that I would never get anywhere by just merely drawing. I was berated until I was forced to drop the thing that made me happy. I resorted to doing it in private and as a coping mechanism for the social pain I was put through.

As an adult; I say this but I'm not even there yet, I was harassed and bombarded in the opposite direction. Why don't I pursue art? Why have I not joy? Why is my happiness lost? Why have I not whimsy or interest in such things?

Perhaps because it was beaten out of me by the systematic abuse of society, children and adults alike.

I try to respond and amend my joyless ways by attempting to show interest in something less permanent than my impending future, and I am beaten down once again. Perhaps it was never the fascination of childish things or the lack thereof, but perhaps it was always me.

Is there something wrong with me? Why don't I belong?

Why am I never enough?

I don't know what to do with myself, and I doubt I ever will know.

I tried pursuing art as a career but I was denied under the pretenses that it was far too out there, and that it would never sustain a life. Yet, when my sisters ask for specialized careers and training, my parents bend over backwards in order to serve them in their infinite needs.

Shortly after, my parents come after me again, demanding why I don't pursue art. They take away everything of my being and personality and demand to know why I don't grow.

Every time they behave it makes me make eye contact with the fourth dimension beings as my soul is slowly drained from me by their ignorance and manipulation.

Several months ago, I expressed to my mom privately that I was suicidal. She laughed and said that sucked and left. I thought I could trust her since she was gentle with my sisters.

I asked if I could see a therapist. My doctor told me to go find a therapist. My doctor told my parents to find me a therapist. I was denied because "therapy doesn't work."

Maybe I wouldn't be such a failure if I was born the right way.

Maybe people would have liked me better if j was different

Maybe I wouldn't hate myself as much if I had the right body. Or no body at all.

I'm not happy, I never was; but now I feel more alone than before because the few people I had are now leaving me like they all do, and I'm left with only the lovely souls I've been blessed enough to find here. And these people are amazing. You guys are amazing. But I still feel alone and empty. I don't know what this void is from but I hope I can fill it soon or stitch it together. I just need to be fixed but apparently that's impossible.

I just wish that anything about myself could be right and acceptable and I just wish I was cared for like my colleagues and I wish I had any future at all.

I'm just so tired of being alone and injured.

I'm tired and I don't know what to do

I'm tired and I'm hurt

And everything is so loud and there's so much going on inside me, yet I'm still empty

What the hell is wrong with me

[phynali]

I truly believe that as we age, one of the single most important things we can do for ourselves is to find ways to experience joy.

I don’t mean overall happiness or contentment, though that’s great too. I mean experiencing those little, fleeting moments of pure unadulterated easy flowing joy. 

What brings you joy?

I feel joy when I dance. I feel joy when I skip in puddles. I feel joy when I skate. Sometimes, just for a moment, I can feel joy when I run. I feel joy when I’m lifted off my feet by someone I love. I feel joy when I’m being silly. I feel joy in whimsy. I feel joy when I let loose and make a mess.

When I’m anxious, when I’m stressed, and when I’m depressed - joy is the first casualty. 

But inevitably, joy also brings me back to myself, and brings me closer to others, and them closer to me. Joy gives us permission to exist - not for any reason, just to experience this moment. And joy gives others permission to also exist, as they are, in this moment too. Joy (fun) is shameless, unembarrassed, and unafraid.

It’s so easy to lose. Modern life seems determined to strip it from us, sometimes. But to feel joy is to defy that, to defy all opposition, internal and external. 

Savour joy, and if you can, let yourself let go and feel it.