#they heard in the night

[tabbbbyyyy]

YALL I WAS ON A HILL WALK FOR TWO DAYS RIGHT AND IN BETWEEN WE CAMPED AT THIS SPOT THAT WAS ACROSS A RIVER FROM THIS CREEPY ASS WOOD AND YALL

LOOK AT THIS SHIT OK I KID YOU NOT 5 DEER SKULLS IN ONE SPOT AND PRETTY MUCH ENTIRE SKELETONS ARE YOU KIDDIND ME?!

It was 8ish at night and yall it was so dark I swear I was gonna get murdered there. We went through barely any of it cos we wanted to go back to the rest of the group and that forest was fucking massive dude. Welcome to Scotland at night I suppose

[chloesimaginationthings]

Shout out to FNAF phone guy finally getting a name!

[yasartmeme]

I had a vision

Also bonus:

[lesamis]

If you're up for it could you explain what is making the Germany government stuff so funny? I can find news articles about it (a coalition is dissolving? There's been tension for a while?) but they're all fairly serious. Thx!

ohhh, sure thing! i'll do my best!

i'll say upfront: this is a pretty serious thing to happen. our chancellor fired our minister of finance, Lindner, which definitively breaks up the governing coalition. germany will likely have snap elections at a moment in which far-right parties are polling extremely well. if news coverage about it seems like people are Worried, that's because, well, they are.

however. the reason it's funny is because our minister of finance was fired. ministers aren't really... ever fired. like, it's not a done thing. i'll fully admit i didn't even know it was an option until yesterday. and our minister of finance wasn't just anyone, he was one of the most mocked and hated figures in politics to germans who vote anywhere left of center.

the coalition that governed until yesterday was made up of the green party, the social democrats, and the neoliberal party (FDP). the FDP is infamous (and i mean, my parents already raised me to hate them for that) for playing kingmaker in coalition governments: they never get all that many votes, but they get just enough that whoever they agree to form a government with will probably succeed. they then tend to force extreme concessions from their coalition partners, because hey, if we walk off, you can't govern at all! so you better play along!

for the past three years, this behaviour has been extremely frustrating for germans who voted for greens or social democrats, because policy from their faction was constantly being blocked by the FDP and often by Lindner personally. the FDP received 11,5% of votes in 2021, but to many of us, it felt as if they were the only party who really had any say in the governing coalition. it made the green and social democratic coalition partners look spineless and passive.

and now, i invite you to imagine how on the day of the US election results, the day the whole world rolled their eyes at the sheer fucking stupidity and pointlessness of it all, at NINE IN THE EVENING, just as germans are getting ready to settle in to bed to dream of nightmare global politics -

the news suddenly breaks that our notoriously invisible chancellor just decided to fire Lindner for that exact behaviour. this chancellor comes out and says, on camera, to the entire sleepy nation, that acting the way Lindner did - blocking necessary policies, refusing to approve budgets unless his party's interests were met - was childish, selfish, irresponsible, and unfit for government, so, whoops, he had to go. shame. coalition over, i guess.

so, politically, that was a long-needed but never-expected moment of triumph for those of us who think the FDP is a clown show made up of human TESLA shares, and it came at a hysterically funny moment.

on a personal level, i can barely explain how uniquely hateable Lindner has always been. he's what would happen if a stock index graph came to life. he hates poor people with a relish; he mocks welfare recipients and would ax minimum wages in a second. he's everyone's business major roommate who shows up in boat shoes fresh off a yacht to discuss NFTs with you. throughout the entire time that he's used his rich boy policy blackmail strategy, he's been smug about it, and he was never taken to task for it, and millions of germans have been longing to throw rotten fruit in his face since 2017. and now we finally get to do it. via memes. on the day of trump's election win.

so that's why it's funny.

[dcxdpdabbles]

Damian: Father, where is Alfred? I need his counsel on an issue. Bruce: He stepped out for some errands, but I can help in his place. What's the issue? Damian: No. Even I am more knowledgeable in the ways of the heart than you. I shall wait for Alfred's return. Bruce mouthing: In the ways of the heart? Later that evening: ........ Bruce: Did Damian talk to you about his problem today, Alfred? Alfred: Yes, Master Bruce. The lad seemed to be sweet on a classmate and was seeking guidance on how to approach the young man. Bruce: Why didn't he come to me!? I could help him! Alfred: Seeing as you failed to get Jack Fenton to glance in your direction, let alone consider you a romantic partner, I fail to see how you would help Master Damian with Danny Fenton. Bruce: Jack Fenton has a son!? A son Damian fancies!? Alfred: Yes, he does. Interestingly enough, I had a similar conversation with your father back when he learned Anthony Fenton's son was Jack. Bruce: I can't believe this. It's always the Fentons. WHY CAN'T THEY EVER LOVE US BACK?! Alfred: Well, you know what they say. The third time is the charm. Perhaps Master Damian will have better luck than you or your father did. Bruce: Do you really belive that? Alfred: Oh not at all. I've seen the way Mr.Fenton looks at Master Damian. That is not the expression of a boy who fancies someone. Rather, I would say it's the one a butcher aims at a cow for slaughter. Bruce sighing: And the cycle of heart break contuines.

[sems-diarie]

death is insane. wdym i’ll never see my grandmother again

[pinkravat-art]

so funny that multiple audio drama podcasts have creepy eye motifs because OH NO. NOT THE CONCEPT OF VISION IN MY AUDIO ONLY FICTION

[ryllen]

he still uses 'human' occasionally,

but it is deemed unacceptable on a few occasions

[lalluviadeanoche]

Merlin *on four hrs of sleep for the past week, dirty from a fight, definitely has a concussion and at least two untreated injuries, one of which he’s bleeding out from, leans over on someone’s shoulder*: Arthur has no idea I have magic!

Arthur *still blushing from Merlin leaning on him and is now very confused w his emotions*: YOU HAVE MAGIC?!

Merlin: oh… sorry.

Merlin *moves to Lancelot’s shoulder*: Arthur has no idea I have magic!

Arthur: I can still hear you!! You’re right next to me and you’re yelling!!

The knights:… you didn’t know??

[scarycranegame]

EVERYONE SHUT THE FUCK UP AND READ THIS.

THE CURRENT VOTE COUNT IS NOT THE FINAL RESULT.

IT WILL TAKE SEVERAL DAYS TO COUNT ALL OF THE VOTES AND DETERMINE WHO WINS THE ELECTION (POSSIBLY MORE IF A RECOUNT IS NECESSARY).

IT IS VERY LIKELY THAT THE FINAL RESULTS WILL NOT LOOK LIKE THE INITIAL RESULTS.

STOP DOOMPOSTING AND LEARN HOW THIS SHIT WORKS.

[chloesimaginationthings]

Vanessa TOTALLY got those Tapes for the FNAF lore..

[madootles]

watched over the garden wall today for the first time! I love u horror fantasy mystery genre

[paper-lilypie]

lots in common

[planetmars732]

how it feels when i get really excited to talk ab a special interest and my friend goes "yeah you've said that before"

[pavus]

I'm pretending and planning an immediate ending 'cause I'm all choked up in the middle of a fall. | ❝ snow song ❞ by blake rouse.

[firefighterkinard]

We're really overlooking the potential of a Karen Wilson (genius rocket scientist and apocalyptic doomsayer wife) and Tommy Kinard (nerd about everything mechanical and the cynical black cat boyfriend) friendship.