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ladylaviniya · 10 months ago

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The Negatives of Shooting People

Chapter 2 || MasterList || Chapter 4

Chapter Summary: A new job creates a new problem for August who decides he needs to remind you of his power. You let Lloyd inside, and he has an offer to make.

Chapter Warnings: 18+ Dead Dove Do Not Eat, Masturbation, Referenced Non-Con Events, Implied Illegal Weapon Arms Trading, Threats, Manipulation, Stalking Journalism.

Pairing: Kingpin!August Walker X F!reader

Word Count: 9.4k

Author Notes: in my mind and casting, Jude Driver is played by Adam Driver. Wesley Gibson is played by James McAvoy. Brandon Sullivan is played by Michael Fassbender. Katarina Vikander is played by Alicia Vikander.

Inspiring Song: "Woman." by Ke$ha.

10:23am Thursday 8th August 2024, Brisbane CBD.

“These photos Miss Y/L/N, they’re magnificent. I haven’t seen quality this good since…well…never really…When can you start?”

You grinned, sitting across from the head editor of one of the smaller local newpapers.

You knew you had to find a job quickly…you were sick of the employment agency and their unhelpful attitude. You knew if you were going to remain safe and take down the billionaire asshole, you needed to be the best version of yourself.

It had been a three days since you first met that monster... August Walker. And he had seemingly invaded your every thought. He was there in the back and front of your mind haunting and taunting you with his smirking lips and roguishly deep voice.

The gentleman who sat in front of you had no idea. That was something you were okay with, how could anyone know? No one knew. You hadn’t called or replied to any text messages Lloyd had sent.

You made a resume portfolio of your best photos you’d taken since your first camera your dad ever bought you. Both Polaroid and electronic. You still hadn’t forgotten that August had stolen one of your father’s cameras from the day he forced you to cum on the recliner chair.

You knew you were inexperienced in journalism…but your photography was a master skill unlike any other.

Your successful interview, you put it up to a great sense of confidence, as well.

“Right now if you’ll have me,” you winked. He was an older man of an older generation. Clearly he knew and was a deep fan of Australian banter that borderlines the aesthetics of flirtation. You were a young woman and he was an older man, the math was simple. Bat your lashes, pretend to be coy and then slide in with a sarcastic remark or sexual innuendo.

He laughed and leant over his desk. You shook your new bosses hand.

He liked that very much. ‘Of course he would, he’s practically old enough to be someone’s perverted uncle.’

“Oh most definitely…” he said biting his bottom lip, he was milking the banter.

He was a handsome even for a classic perverted elder fellow. John Luther was a grey fox so the ladies might say. You were sure that from now on never to truly trust a man…so when he winked back and looked down your shirt- at your chest, you smiled wider, ‘predictable men…he is going to be easy to manipulate…’

You had to thank August one day…if he hadn’t hurt and humiliated you the way he did…you would never have felt the rage of all women and the desire to use your assets to get what you wanted in this Man’s World.

You sat back a lit and lifted your chest as you gave a big happy sigh while watching Mr Luther continuously ogle your chest.

It sent a shiver even down your spine thinking about it…entering a villainess era…a femme fatale story….a tale of revenge and justice.

“I admire a woman with confidence,” he said sucking his teeth, his right hand slide down beneath his desk out of view. You had half a mind to assume he was palming his dick in his trousers.

“So how about I assign you your first assignment? See how you go? I’ll even let you choose…”

“Choose?” you asked with a faux coyness, fluttering your lashes.

“Well, we have a very interesting story idea in regards to the Woolloongabba Doggy Day care that just moved to East Brisbane, rumour has it that the business is understaffed for the amount of dogs they keep in care. And they only use half of the required sanitization required. A spread of kennel cough and many dogs having their ears ripped off by other larger dogs belonging to rich clients the owner of the doggy day care refuses to lose business towards.”

Oh dear, you noted, that sounded tragic….it’s a good thing you never had a pet as a kid. It would hurt too much to be in that position. Hearing a pet dog had its ear ripped off by savage untrained dogs.

“...And the other case?” You sweetly chirped.

His smile fell, “There’s a certain gentleman that’s running around allegedly smuggling drugs and arm deals…” he repeated, “’Allegedly’…”

He rolled back in his chair to reach for a folder on his bookshelf, flicking through it.

Your craning neck had time to catch the outline of his prick beneath his pants. ‘Oh yes...this man is putty in my hands.’ When he swivelled back, you dashed your eyes back to his desk trinkets and smiled at him.

“A bloke named August Walker selling to or buying from an old money American philanthropist Brandon Sullivan…”

‘No fucking way’….just your luck…

You were going to fucking take it no matter what….

Luther grimaced, “It’s a big task so I won’t judge you for not taking it. I’m just hoping to catch the sons of bitches at it. It would be a huge story for media not even those wankers at seven, nine or ten news could think to report.”

You reached over his desk to steal his pen and stick note pad. You took down the name he mentioned on a sticky note- Brandon Sullivan...you made sure to memorise it well.

“How about we even make those conniving morons at sky news jealous, sir?” You smirked and watched as the rockets soared in his eyes with his white tooth grin.

He laughed hard.

He wiped his hand down his chin, “I love a girl with ambition Miss Y/L/N. I’m sure you won’t disappoint me! The dead line for photos is in a week, he’s having some soiree on next Friday or something so it’s got to be before then because you’re never gonna be able to enter those clubs, chicky. Respectfully.”

You smile and shake his hand again, “Mr Luther, I swear…I’ll give you the best goddamn shots you’ve ever seen of that criminal.”

Now your man hunt had truly commenced, you smiled to yourself. Who knew that revenge could come so easily and quickly…

Luther gave you your own cubicle to work in. A place to hang and edit your photos. A place to file your evidence. He may have mentioned that the work they did in his agency was on par with the police but by no means legally police work. So if the cops arrived, you stayed hidden and kept your fucking mouth shut....

You had a job and began researching the bastards name again on your laptop, compiling the sources from Google and the notes from Luther’s folder files.

You discovered the following about August J. Walker.

He was born in New Jersey. He was twice your age and almost as old as your father. He had a plethora of connections in businesses from alcohol distillery to Chinese restaurant vendings. Actually you were confident that a restaurant he help partnership over had a familiar logo. You tapped your lip and wondered briefly if your father ever delivered there as a truck driver.

August was a fan of European and Asian based foods and sold it at his clubs. He owned over fifteen around the world. One of his biggest in Australia was The Lions Lounge, it was on the edge of Fortitude Valley. It was for the richest social elites of the country. The price of food alone was almost your weeks rent.

On the website of his club you could see information regarding the tightship of his security. It seemed supreme so there wasn’t a chance of you going to his club without a fat purse and invitation.

A party was coming up, a celebration for the ten year anniversary of its opening. A soiree with a “The roaring 1920s.” Theme. You scoffed at the cliché.

It was exclusively invite only, it was only on the website so that those who received a invitation could reply a rsvp. And with you fresh out of luck of an invite like Luther even said, there was little to no chance of clawing your way inside.

So...that’s when you had to resort to extra creativity. You held up the sticky note and smiled.

09:07am Wednesday 14th August 2024, Robertson Brisbane.

August Walker was a man with a craving to remain in power. He had fought tooth and nail to get where he was and for now he felt incredibly comfortable…he had enough money to buy the fucking country...he had the power to make politicians kneel and kiss his shoes if he demanded it. To the police, with his legal team, he was currently untouchable.

He could literally have any woman he wanted…but he wanted you. Since that night he first saw your photo, he starved. He had given you time to mourn. Now you were alone and he righteously believed you needed him.

Yet to his surprised pleasure, he liked the fight and push you tried to dish out on him. Your guts to go to the police sent blood to his cock. He hadn’t expected it. He believed you’d roll over and cry only. He never predicted you’d immediately leave the apartment before he could wish you a good morning or afternoon after leaving you drugged up. He snooped for hours in your father’s bedroom and yours. He’d flicked through your old school reports and photos. He tried tidying your mess and clutter, washing your vomit covered duvet and even had cigarette to pass the time.

So when he received that call from the police requesting his presence, instead of anger, he felt surprise. Not many could surprise him. But you did...

He pushed away from his desk and rubbed his eyes chuckling, you were definitely a tasty little thing.

It made his dick hard when he remembered you crying beneath him. He loved to fantasise your pathetic excuses and spitfire words. He only wished you’d push the boundary more. The more you fought, the sweeter the submission.

He pulled out his ‘other’ phone. His ‘business’ phone. The phone no police would ever know or see. He swiped his thumb across the screen and groaned at the sweet nude thing he took photos of the night you’d both met. Oh how pitifully adorable you were with your desperate pleas and confusion as the pill quickly broke down into your blood stream.

He wished he had a video of it. How he teased your phone away from you. How he mocked you. Half of it he imagined you probably didn’t remember. After all it wasn’t long that you were totally out of it, limp and softly snoring.

He liked how much control he had over you. Laying the strips over your hairy body and tearing it away to be baby smooth as he liked it. How delicate you looked as he rubbed the baby oil into your skin to settle any potential irritation. Perhaps it was sick of him to prefer you like this. He sighed, licking his bottom lip, staring at the photo he took of your freshly waxed pussy.

He had done sicker things to other people. But you were someone who didn’t deserve this. That is where the guilt lied. You didn’t deserve this and August Walker fucking new it deep in his bones.

He wasn’t shy of hurting innocence but your situation was different. This was personal.

So really could he hold it against you for going to the police? No... And besides...his false alibi had been solid... especially after the rape kit evidence had been tampered with, concluding as inconclusive...

Something about the thought of making you submit but never fully breaking, constantly challenging him- turned him on so much, he found it impossible to work. He slapped his phone down and chewed the inside of his cheek while he considered calling up Natalie, one of his go to escorts. His payable whores. She was expensive but she knew how to suck him off to completion quickly and he wanted to focus on work and finalising the details of his party in two days, not on you.

As fate would have it….he wouldn’t have a choice…the phone rang on his desk.

He pressed the reviewer to his ear and turned to look out the window.

“Walker.”

“It’s Gibson.”

He smiled and leaned back in his rolling chair, “Ah Wesley, yes, how are you mate?”

“You’ve got a little problem, sir,” he heard his public relation specialist sigh, “A tail.”

“Oh?”

“I’m sending the email now,” the click clack typing of the keyboard echoed in the headset Wesley wore,” It seems the paper has started to find better journalists…”

The email notification came in quickly. The ping from his monitor forced August to spin around in his chair. He pursed his lips and scrolled to click the link.

He hovered the mouse arrow down and noticed the collection of photos taken of him in the high class restaurants talking with a old underworld buddy of his. Some of the images however were incredibly exposing. His hand was shaking Brandons in one when he made a export deal with him, another photo showed August’s fingers touching a contract, his eyes looking at a phone Brandon was holding with images of guns. This was not good at all…

“What the fuck…” his hand pressed to his lips, he mused, “The photographer was smart, he knows how to pick a decent angle, Jesus what camera took this?” He clicked another photo, “These details…you can practically see every pore on Brandon’s bloody face…”

His mouth felt dry. He knew he needed to hire Natalie’s services now, the stressed building up had him tense. His erection had vanished, now it was a matter of pain in his shoulders and back.

He scrolled further and stared at the headlines jumping out. “Playboy or Pathological Criminal.”, “Party King or King Pin.”, “Australia’s own insider terrorist.”

His eyes widened at seeing the publishing office. John Fucking Luther & Co. News.

His jaw cracked with the tightness he clenched. No. He didn’t have time for this shit.

“She, sir,” The lackey corrected, “Newest of Luther’s flock. His word usually isn’t credible but this? This is going to be hard, expensive press to erase or cover up. Other news outlets are fighting over the rites.”

She...

He picked up a pen and clicked the button. Why was it even that important.

She...

She? His eyes sharpened. He looked closer at the photos on his screen. Something about the photo style reminded him of something earlier he had seen the previous week. So many….on a wall…beside a bed…filled with a captivating woman he defiled…but surely not you? Surely not you...

“What did you say?”

“Sir the cost to-”

He shook his head and sighed into the phone, cutting of the agent, “No, no, I meant the photographer. You said ‘she’? Luther? Are you sure this is real? His lot are the worst, always blurry or grainy if they’re lucky…who the fuck is this new photographer or editor or whoever the fuck is getting these images.”

“We can only assume,” Wesley mumbled, “You’ve had this little thing on your tail for the passed few days, she tries to be sneaky we’ve noted. We didn’t expect her to release decent pictures…we followed her back to the Luther office. The angles fit the locations we have caught her in.”

His thumb pressed hard against the pen.

“Show me this bitch,” he growled under his breath.

Another email ping and a link later, your face filled the computer screen. Your eyes burned him right back…you were in a few photos. Some where you hid among a roof top, another you were hiding in a corner at the restaurant, and finally one where you were just in a park looking down at your camera probably going over the shots you’d taken.

“Want us to deal with her, sir?” he suddenly heard Wesley ask. Deal with her...Destroy her reputation...beat her up…sell her…or kill her....no…no...not his new puppy.

He blinked with bewilderment and hummed, “No...” He cleared his throat, “No, no thankyou, Wesley. I know this kid; don’t worry…” he smirked, “This is just a simple misunderstanding…bit of…play. Trust me.”

Oh how he could’ve whipped the skin from your back raw for this if you were anyone else...

“Sir, if you can’t get her to stop, if she’s going to keep doing this…” Gibson warned, “Anything more in depth- you’ll wind up in court or prison at the worst, the pigs aren’t taking the pay like they used to…”

August shook his head and sighed, “It wouldn’t be the first time Wesley. Ignore her. I’ll deal with it. She’s my responsibility.”

His public relations officer seemed to pause for a moment. As if he had something else to say but he knew better than to total talk back to August Walker.

“Alright sir, have a good evening,” August heard before he slapped the phone, hanging up.

He scooted closer to the screen and scrolled back at the photos you’d taken. He bit his lip and chuckled, shaking his head at your profiling photo, “You little-...you want to play this game? Fine, now it’s my turn.”

He began dialling up a new phone number. He held it back up to his ear and waited for the receiver to pick up.

“Jude mate, I’m gonna need you to develop some photos for me...oh yes,” he replied pinching the pen in his hand, “Red room style.”

06:19pm Wednesday 14th August 2024, Woolloongabba, Brisbane.

“Who needs a man? Huh!” You said to yourself testing out the new bolts and chain locks you installed on the front door. They rattled and locked. They didn’t budge when you jiggled the handle and pulled. You still had three more you planned to drill in.

You wiped the sweat off your forehead and grinned proudly. This is something your dad should have taught you how to do. Thankfully with the help of a YouTube tutorial and a bit of bravery you managed to take full control and ownership of your front door.

If your new landlord wanted to charge you for damages to his door, so be it, as long as this kept you protected from him while you slept at night that was all that mattered. He’d either have to pick every complicated lock, guess or, he’d have to hire the damn firefighting crew to use a battering ram.

When you opened the door again to test it a second time, a squeak of surprised popped from your lips. You clenched your dad’s power tool tightly.

A man in a black suit and black sunglasses stood outside the door with an large yellow envelope in his hand. He held it out to you silently. He looked ominous and familiar, he wore leather gloves…your eye widened, he was August’s driver.

You glanced between him and his hands. Every second was a risk you weren’t sure you could keep taking. You hesitantly pinched the bottom of his flat package and he let go. He pulled the edge of his sunglasses down his face, looking at the plethora of door locks.

‘What was his name again? Judea, Judas?’

He said quietly, “It might be better if you open it inside...” his eyes glanced at the door again before smirking, “Nice locks...pretty crappy if you think it’s going to stop him though.”

‘Him...August Walker...’

You stood still in shock. He gracefully spun on his heel and left. Your tongue caught in your throat…what the fuck was this?

The package was as thick as your hand.

You had to know it was from August…I mean who else could it be from? Especially since you speculated it was his driver that delivered it…especially since there was a massive cursive ‘A.J.W’ on the tab of the envelope.

You held your breath and walked hurriedly backwards inside.

Your teeth caught your upper lip. You slammed the door shut and locked all the locks before going to the couch, disposing the drill on the coffee table, and tearing open the envelope.

You pinched the top wide open and hovered your eyes inside. There was a white papery page ripped out from a note book. You pulled it out and unfolded it to read his handwritten warning.

“Careful Puppy, you’re lucky my men didn’t bite when they sniffed you out, sticking your nose where it doesn’t belong. I think you need a break from your little hobby. So I’m going to remind you...I have copies of these. Scratch me again and I’ll bite back. Stay down or I will put you down.”

Your mouth became dry as your eyes raced over that one last line again.

‘Stay down or I will put you down.’

When you ‘put down’ an animal, it usually means death…your insides grew cold. You were confident this was a strict warning, not a threat but a promise, August walker was telling you to stop investigating or he would kill you…

Your hands shook uncontrollably. You wanted them to stop. Your body felt the reeling anxiety. You dumped the rest of the envelope over the counter. All the content spilled across the entire floor. A camera came clattering out. Your father’s camera in fact.

Inside were photos of you. A photo of you working in the editor office. A photo of you walking in the deli section at the underground Woolworths grocery store and photos of you sitting at the Queen street bus station, even the bus numbers showed up. The bus 200 via Carindale. Then at the bottom of the spread out deck of photos were the shots from the night he forced you to cum on the recliner and the night he had drugged you, naked on his bed.

Your teeth clenched hard.

You felt your eyes grow hot quickly with tears. You didn’t like how pathetic and helpless you appeared, covered in tape, and totally lost in the bliss of his sexual torture. You didn’t realise how sweaty it had made you until noticing the intense wet shimmer over your body in the photo, the hot light of the camera shone reflectively from your skin.

You closed your eyes and choked on a sob. He made his point loud and clear but it wasn’t fair. Why could he get away with all of this? You wanted to tear all the photos up one by one until they were tiny papers the size of your pinky nail.

But they sat in a piled collection on your coffee table.

Your hand cupped your mouth as you fought your wails. You clenched your teeth and stomped your foot.

You kept rereading his note. Memorising his handwriting. His Y’s had a straight tail that didn’t curve upward. It made you hate him twice as much as irrational that detail was.

August hadn’t come back since then. He had not made any personal contact since he cornered you in your father’s bedroom. It wasn’t the last time you saw him though…you saw him almost daily, but you confidently were sure he never saw you until now. You were gathering all the evidence possible to put him in the doghouse...

You pressed yourself against the wall and slid down it on your back until your bottom hit the floor.

Now what would you do? Take photos and write about abused animals instead? Always worrying about August coming into your home to take his revenge for the humiliation and defamation you brought to his name?

You settled your hands into your lap. Your heart was pounding. You could hear every awful thud.

Your phone came to life. Lloyds number ran across your screen.

‘Oh god, Lloyd. Sweet, wonderful Lloyd. Maybe he could help me.’

Hitting the green button, you picked up the phone and cleared your throat, “Hey, how are you?”

His voice was a cool balm, “I’m getting on alright. I thought I’d call and check up on you. You haven’t been very chatty over text is all. I still think you should move Y/N.”

Lloyd kept you as updated as he could. He said he interviewed August a few days ago and the excuse was laughable. August had lied about being at his club during the time he had been with you. He had staff members who could vouch for him, Lloyd suggested they’d been paid off and supposedly security footage, all which Lloyd assured must’ve been edited. It was comforting knowing out of everyone, Lloyd stayed true in his belief that you were a victim.

Another tear rolled down your face, your voice became shaky, “Yea...I think you’re right. Lloyd...things have been happening...and...can you- can you just come over please?”

You were breaking down hard and couldn’t stop the wave of anguish coming over you. The detective was compassionate and said softly, “Of course. I’ll be there in ten minutes.”

When the phone disconnected you rubbed your face and flared your nostrils. Seeing the photos made you feel dirty, unclean. You decided a quick shower before Lloyd arrived might help you relax and calm down from the absolute panic attack creeping under your skin. You stood under the hot spray and tried to control your breathing.

And under the water your thoughts persisted to race. A particular question shot through you.

‘Why would he even send those to me?’ Your eyes shut. ‘Why’? If you were just some women, he liked to fuck and humiliate... ‘Then why didn’t he just come in and do it in person?’

It was like a pin had dropped. Your eyes flashed wide open, and you turned off the water. You scrubbed your face and got out of the shower, rushing to put your pyjamas on. You almost slipped on the tiles and hard wood.

You crashed to your knees at the coffee table and spread the photos around trying to find that one.

The one where you were sitting inside the editor building at your cubicle. It had been taken from a low angle on the street. A small laugh escaped you. If he sent you an image of you at the office he knew where you worked, and who you worked for…he had read your articles...a light laugh escaped your parting lips. Tears dripped from your eyes, not from grief or fear, oh no, it was relief. Now it made sense.

'Of course!' August had read your articles...and they- you chuckled; they frightened him!!! Yes, maybe not to the extent of full fear, but enough that he felt it fit and necessary to send these too you. He felt threatened. The articles were piling up on speculation against him now in the paper. You were walking a thin line between defamation and creative liberties in alleged speculations, but Mr Luther assured it was legal in the laws of journalism and gossip.

If August had copies of your lewd rape photos, if he published them…you didn’t care...what was the point in caring about that?

You knew humans could be animals. It didn’t matter what was seen. Anyone can masturbate to anything, even just a selfie – so an image of you cumming on the recliner chair was really nothing at the end of the day…sure you might lose your job but the confidence to get you there would be used in the future again. And it would be all worth it just to watch the cuffs slap over August’s wrist. Because even if he’d never go away, locked up for your abuse, you could at least drag him further down with as many criminal activity charges as possible.

You glanced at the note he wrote…maybe he didn’t even write this. If he really wanted you dead, you were sure you would be. This wasn’t a threat, this was a game. He was toying with you, clearly trying to scare you into stopping any investigations of his hidden underground work.

Little did he know, he had no idea that your rage and hunger for revenge was greater than your fear of him.

You pinched a photo to the light and smirked. If only a week ago, this poor defenceless girl knew how her life would change for good...her eyes the mirror of yours. You slapped it flat in the table and pinched your eyes. August was definitely no talent in taking photos.

You smiled recalling how Luther reacted to the first photo you brought him the third day of working...

02:36pm Thursday 8th August 2024, Brisbane CBD.

On the sticky note you’d written down a name Mr Luther had shared. You looked up that name, Brandon Sullivan, with deep dive searches and found very little of him…however he did have a single photo up on his Facebook, he was holding a gorgeous woman.

Once you had reversed search the woman’s face, Katarina Vikander, you could have peed with excitement. She was some Swedish ballet dancer and super model. She was Brandons girlfriend. And she was happy to share a dozen photos over all her social media platforms…and yes, Brandon clearly wasn’t a fan of his personal paparazzi, but there were hiccups in his cover ups.

Katarina had taken a selfie on a balcony; her sunglasses reflected her phone and Brandon coming out of their hotel bathroom.

Behind Katarina was a marina in the background. That area was very rich and popular and easy to find. You recognised the area only by chance. The were staying at the JW Marriot Gold Coast Resort and Spa. You could see the JW Marriot logo on a bath robe in a previous photo while she wore a creamy face mask with cucumber slices over her eyes.

Katarina seemed to have this obsession with a Americana aesthetic, her favourite artist was in her saved Instagram stories, Lana del Rey.

The caption of her post with Brandon hidden in the background under a broad brim hat said, “Sunny and happy with my love, he doesn’t like the seafood here, he wants ‘real truffles.’ **eyeroll emoji**”

You remembered how you sat back after seeing that and searched every restaurant in the area of the Gold Coast region and only one sold authentic truffle dishes…men are fickle and usually won’t try new things…he was clearly a man set in his ways if he wouldn’t let her post photos of him. or at least that was your theory and assumption about the almost non-existent Brandon Sullivan.

You went back and searched August. He had a decent amount of information, he was very private however, no named girlfriends or family. He was very business oriented….and what did you know? Two years ago on his LinkedIn profile you could see August had been at the opening of the same little truffle restaurant nearby where Katrina and Brandon were staying. You scrolled.

‘Looks like he was or still is an investor.’

It wasn’t solid evidence, and you didn’t know if August would be there to meet with them…so all it took, was a simple phone call…and the great skill of confidence with a stride of lying.

As the phone dialed, you selected a fake name. Your co-worker had a F.R.I.E.N.D.S coffee mug, and you stared at the dark drink stain…it’s dark colour making a perfect name.

When a staff member of the restaurant answered you hurriedly got through your plotted lie, “Hello? Yes, my name is…Jennifer Brown, I’m Mr August Walkers new assistant…listen his last employee was quite begrudged and threw out all the known appointments Mr Walker was to attend in the next three months. I’m pretty sure he has a table booked for your restaurant?”

The administrator paused. You hoped he wouldn’t ask you to repeat yourself or question you further, so you sarcastically joked, “He will murder me if I can’t find out, it’s very important.”

You prayed he’d bite the banter.

The administration clerk had a boyish tone, “Of course! Would you like me to look up the time and date of his reservation?”

You smirked and held back a cackle, you feigned a sweet joyful cry, “I would be grateful if you could be a dear, thank you so much!”

And that was how you found out the schedule and exact location of August Walker and his criminal associate.

09:45am Friday 9th August 2024, Coomera, Gold Coast.

Getting inside the restaurant wasn’t too hard. It had an open-door area with French doors. You made sure to wear a large sun hat and a plain dress. Your dad owned a small camera, about the size of an apple. You put it on a timer and leant to the floor, aiming the view finder at their table.

The entire time you swore you were sweating bullets. If August had seen you and confronted you, you probably would be chained to a pipe laying naked on a dirty mattress…maybe with those missing women you heard about on the news, Rachel, Stephanie, and Alison.

‘Why didn’t he keep me then? We did he return me back home? Did he kill those other girls?’ the more you thought too deeply on the topic, it made your skin crawl.

You clenched one of the forks, staring at the kingpin in the reflection. He looked to smug for a man that got off on harming women. You wished you could stab out his eyes with the prongs. And when the waiter came around to ask what you wanted to order, you held up the fork and requested a new one, apologising for “dropping it”.

You determined the camera had taken enough footage. You knew you’d need to make your escape when the waiter left to find you a new fork. Afterall- who can afford to pay for a cut of salmon with rocket leaves and white sauce for a hundred and thirteen fucking dollars?

You went straight home on the train and bus. You developed the photos in the bathroom sink. Hanging it up on the shower rails to set.

Those were the first photos you gave Mr. Luther.

The other times you took photos of Brandon and August were harder, a little more risky.

06:23am Saturday 10th August 2024, Coomera, Gold Coast.

You had staked outside of the hotel where Brandon stayed. Waiting across the street in a side street. It was cold and miserable. But you knew August would be down here. Darling Katarina had posted a photo of her shoes in an elevator, beside her feet were Brandons shoes, but his had a shine. You could see the blur of Augusts moustached face. Maybe it was a reach, except when the caption said, “Lions Lounge anyone? Don’t my heels look incredible! **love heart eyes emoji**”

You were dressed in rags, you clenched a juul stick you bought that morning, gagging on the watermelon flavour while you practiced your “Eshay” accent. You stared up at the windows trying to guess which room the three were in with the help of the ex-ballerinas photos.

A month ago, you would’ve thought doing something like this was insane and frankly unhealthy. But you a month ago had not been humiliated and manipulated, God knows what a woman will do once you’ve pissed her off…was it obsession? Most definitely, for revenge, for justice, for all the girls who fell for August and harmed by his reputation.

You waited…and you were right. Brandon and August walking out together. The sweet young woman was clinging to Brandon’s side with a wide girlish smile and love heart shaped sunglasses. Funnily enough, the car that picked them up just so happened to be driven by the same dark headed driver in the same black car that August took you in. You took a snapshot of the license plate and watched it drive through the somewhat slow traffic down the street. You walked and walked, keeping your eyes set on the license plate. While traffic rolled, you turned and noted there were a few empty taxis.

You took off the jumper that you cut a bunch of holes in and dumped it in a garbage bin before bending down and tapping on one of the taxi windows.

“Hey! Are you available to drive me?” You called to one of the taxi drivers that hadn’t noticed you until that second...his eyes widened with surprise before nodding, “quickly, traffic is slow, hop in!”

You slid directly into the passenger side, which on a normal day you’d never dare.

But today wasn’t a normal day. You sat up in your seat and scrolled the area with your eyes.

“So where are we headed today, ma’am?” The driver asked.

You pointed ahead with a cheeky smile, “See that black car? The fancy one.”

“The tesla?” He asked.

“My friends are in that car, so please follow it. They know the way.”

He peered at you curiously, you knew it was stupid. If you had friends rich enough for a tesla, they’d never leave you to find a taxi. But hey…money is money, the driver wouldn’t argue. He started the timer and to your satisfaction traffic picked up. When they zoomed through the street the taxi tried to keep up. They were driving to a quieter street with Western Europeanised cafe’s.

As they stopped and hoped out you quickly requested to the driver, “Do you mind going around the corner? I’m a little embarrassed.”

God, you hated to say it but you had to play the suddenly snobby cunt.

He didn’t care either way to your relief and parked around the corner, metres away from the two men.

You paid the driver handsomely with cash you managed to find in your old piggy bank back home and slid out of the cab. Your face carefully looked around the corner and you skirted back. August, Brandon and Katarina had decided to sit outside in the warm morning sunlight. It was just your luck! Quickly, you crossed the street away from the cafe. The more distance the better.

To your luck it was a block of units across from the cafe. You walked around the building and kept your head down. You came up behind in an alley and smiled at the long spiral stairs that went up to the roof top. The adrenaline extinguished all fear of heights and pushed you up until you stood out on a flat roof. You crossed the way and looked over the side.

‘Fuck’, you thought to yourself. ‘Would a police officer ever do this? Would Lloyd ever have the guts to do this?’

Probably not, there was lots of red tape involved in police investigations...but you were just a reporter...You were a photographic investigator and you amazed yourself at the lengths you were taking. You were eager to get these shots. This evidence.

You saw the pair of businessmen receiving a cup of tea and breakfast meals from the waitress. Getting down onto your tummy, you grabbed your camera and leant over the ledge to zoom in on the two.

The pumping blood roaring in your vein filled you with a mixture of fear, excitement and surprisingly…arousal.

Those were the photos that made it to the papers first.

06:35pm Wednesday 14th August 2024, Woolloongabba Brisbane.

As you reminisced on the evidential demise of August Walker, a knock at the door designed a bigger grin across your face. Lloyd had arrived. And no longer standing in a fit of sobs you welcome him cheerfully at the door.

He was wearing a black turtleneck and black slacks, totally out of uniform. Below his eye was a reddish spot. It was shining against his pale face. It wouldn’t surprise you if it was a bruise.

‘Many police are brutal and cruel but there’s no way Lloyd is one. He isn’t one of those cops...he must’ve been attacked by some bogan eshay or crackhead.’

His smile turned your knees to warm jelly. You felt shy like some first year highschooler being noticed by the seniors. He just had this glow around him.

“Hi Lloyd.”

“Hello there,” he said softly, his head cocked to the side, “Do you mind letting me in?” He asked.

‘Oh right.’

“Come- come in.”

You felt your face grow warm. You opened the door wider and looked out and down the hall. You held your breath and stood aside. The tall man slid passed you inside to your lounge room.

You took a massive breath in and exhaled. No one was waiting behind a corner or ready to catch you with the officer. You knew there were no security cameras and you doubted August would ever add any with his reputation.

Lloyd removed his leather shoes and placed them beside the door. His black socks glided over the hardwood.

You bit your lip…you looked back at the coffee table and quickly shut the door, bolting the locks after the detective entered your flat.

If August knew you were letting a detective inside, continuing to talk to one he could-…’Well, hold on...how would he know? He wouldn’t.’

“Woah, locked me in, what are you doing?” Lloyd gasped as he glanced over the metal mechanisms of your door. His eyes widened when you twisted the locks and shifted the small chains.

“I just...um. August Walker.... he’s kinda now...my new landlord and he probably will be getting keys soon and I....” your breath wavered. You paused and took a deep breath, “I needed to talk to you privately in person I think....”

His eyes didn’t grow any wider, but his pupils shrank. He pinched his dark pink lips. Sucking his teeth loudly he nodded slowly.

“That’s definitely a pickle you’ve been put into then, huh?”

You nodded back, pressing yourself against the door, sighing softly, “That’s not even the half of it Lloyd...”

His eyes raked up and down your body in surprise. You weren’t wearing your bra and your nipples were rock hard. Your pyjama bottoms were very short and little did you realise how much they were riding up your thighs.

You walked around him timidly to the coffee table.

“I got a new job, as a photographer journalist, no real experience required just my luck honestly,” you awkwardly laughed, “August um, he’s supposedly up to no good and I thought I could have a jab at him from a professional angle…”

You sat yourself in the recliner, while you invited him to sit opposite of you on the couch where he’d be able to properly look at all the photos.

He looked frightfully tired. His hair was dishevelled, and his shirt was stain with sweat. He had a nasty purple bruise on his knuckles that also matched the one under his eye.

You lifted your knees to your chest and worried about how much trouble this man was getting into as well as you. You wondered if it was like television shows where detectives mostly focus on the darkside of the force.

You gestured to the photos. You weren’t sure how he would react. He sat on the couch and peered across the coffee table, glancing over the images. It took him a few seconds before a gasp of shock ripped from his throat.

You tapped on the photos where you’d been stalked and seen taking photos of August, “Well, it shows he’s not one to have his photos taken...”

He was shaking his head. He couldn’t stop staring at the nude photos. And for a few seconds you relived that feeling of embarrassed humiliation.

You could see how his throat bobbed and his eyes flutter.

He leant forward on his knees and licked his lips.

“I...and here I had called you to check up on you and I was going to ask you for help Y/N, but god I don’t know if that’s gonna work now,” he sighed.

The detective ran a finger across your face in the lewd photos.

Your eyes narrowed, “Wh-what do you mean?”

There was a lengthy pause.

He chewed the inside of his cheek before asking, “How much do you hate what August did to you?”

You didn’t hesitate, “I’d kill him for what he’s done if I knew I wouldn’t go to prison…” you briefly looked down, “He…he came back like you said...”

Lloyd eyes glanced down too and he sighed, “Thought as much…let me guess…he threatened you?”

Your eyes fluttered closed, August had done more than just threaten you.

You nodded slowly, “He…he did…but he…is possessive, he kept saying I was his and I belong to him.” You pointed to the photo of you taped up on the recliner.

His brows pressed together, his eyes saddened. He clear his throat, “How long ago was that?”

Your mouth grew dry. You felt embarrassed telling Lloyd.

“The day of the report, after you brought me home.”

His eyes widened, his hand rubbed his parted lips, “So he ugh…he was here already?”

You nodded again, “The call you made… he was standing right here with a knife in his hand.”

“That’s why you have those deadbolts huh?” The officer rubbed his eyes and groaned, “Fuck. I’m so sorry. Why didn’t you call me after he left? I could’ve moved you, you could’ve stayed with me at least until I could put you into witness protection. Fuck!”

His swearing sent a shiver down your spine.

Your looked at your feet, you knew he wasn’t victim blaming, he just didn’t understand. You told Lloyd everything…confessed like he was your priest. You told him what August did with the vibrator despite it bringing you to tears again. You told him he was the new landlord and that’s why you installed the extra locks. You told him about your new job and you told him about the photos and how you were going to help however you could to put the bastard away.

You sat off the recliner and slid the photos back into the envelope.

“You’re very brave Y/N,” Lloyd whispered, he reached out and laid his warm hand on top of yours.

Your belly felt warm at the praise. You let him hold your fingers in his and rubbed his thumb over your skin. You stared at his blonde moustache and those bright clue eyes of his. You imagined his mouth scratching your lip if you only leant in closer...he was still as handsome as the day he patiently listened to you in the report.

Lloyd smiled softly.

God if you were a cat you would’ve been feral and in heat with how creative your imagination was getting.

Your eyes fluttered as your entire body warmed up.

“Y-You said you needed help with something?”

He smirked, letting go of your hand.

He claimed, “After what you’ve told me I’m confident you can do it...but you might not like it…”

“Try me,” you huffed, falling victim to his contagious grin.

“I have two tickets to August’s little Soiree at his club The Lions Lounge,” He started off, “My other sources have confirmed there is going to be some form of arms deal with some unsavoury company, illegal, unregistered weapons. August Walker is very good at knowing the law and requesting a warrant… but the sources I have are not substantial to the board to guarantee a warrant by that night and by that time Walker would’ve moved the weapons and sold them in a different location.”

You pieced it bit by bit.

“So you need to get inside the party, find the deal going down and bust them?”

“Exactly, that’s right! However the moment a single man waltzes to the front door it looks suspicious. I need a lady on the arm…and better yet…I need a distraction for Walker, if he sees me head on, I could be as good a shark chow.”

Your eyes lit up, it didn’t take a genius to realise he meant you. You would be the distraction. And you’d be damned before you put yourself in real danger again especially after the threat August had given you...your photos were taken in public, this would be in private. Anything could happen to you.

“No… that is too dangerous, Lloyd,” You stood up and paced the floor in front of Lloyd who was now also rising to follow you in your pacing. You walked around your kitchen and Lloyd put his hands on the bench beside you.

“Y/N…” he bent close in a whisper. You wouldn’t look at the detective. Fear was buzzing inside of you. You felt stupid about saying you’d do anything to take August Walker down now. You really wanted to just humiliate the man and call him up in prison one day and rub it in his face. But this? This was a game of cat and mouse and you didn’t want to be backed up into a corner again.

“I wouldn’t be asking you if this unless I had to...”

You bit back the whimper in your throat as Lloyd touched your shoulder gently.

“He let you live…he has a soft spot for you.”

‘He threatened to put me down.’

He turned you around and squeezed your arms while he pitched the plan, “What’ll happen is we enter the club, I find the dealers and you find Walker because he will be hosting the party, he will want to know why you’re there and you are going to tell him that…you wanted to see him.”

You rubbed your eyes angrily, “Why the fuck would I want to see him?!” your fingers felt moist, you’d been compelled to tears.

The kind eyed detective sucked his teeth, “I don’t know, make it up. Kiss him. Men don’t care about a thing once a pretty thing is kissing them.”

You rolled your eyes and shook your head. No, this wasn’t the Lloyd you had imagined.

“Oh,” you chuckled sourly, “So you’re pimping me out then?”

He gave you a dumbfounded look, “Call it whatever you want…you’ll be paid good money for your service and he’ll be arrested, in prison, unable to touch you. You can run away and move to wherever you want then.”

Your breath was shaky as you dared to ask, “How much?”

His left brow rose.

“How much would I be paid by the Queensland police or Australian defence department or whoever this is through?”

He sighed and gently laid a hand on your shoulder, “Around fifteen grand.”

Your breath escaped you. From near negatives to fifteen grand overnight? That much? For this job?! You were stunned…not sure if it was worth your life…but if it meant he only humiliate you one more time and you walked away with that much money…you’d do it.

You shook your head, “Fine, it’s this Friday night yea? His club is high-class and I don’t have clothes for that type of event.”

The tall man stood back and chuckled as he tug into his back pocket and retrieved his wallet. He pinched a wad of cash and slapped it in the benchtop. Your eyes widened, holy fuck it was a month or two in rent alone…

“Go buy some. But you have got to be ready. At Seven o’clock I’ll pick you up an hour before the event and we can refresh what we know before we line up.”

You glanced between him and the money and nodded….”Alright, let’s…let’s do this.”

He laughed and clapped his hand excitedly, he leant in and gave you a fat kiss on the cheek. Nothing romantic, just pure joy.

“Thankyou so much Y/N you are going to be hailed a hero, a legend in my books!” He marched back to the couch and grabbed his blazer.

“You are a special person and I’m honoured to have met you! Really honoured!” He said as he unlocked all your bolts. He swung the door open and slammed it behind him.

You sighed and fell back against your cold fridge.

You weren’t sure you could pull this off….but as your eyes looked over the cash, the corner of your lips lifted.

You shut your eyes and sighed…all that money, it made your blood pulse. You returned to the lounge room and sat in the recliner. You laid back, staring at the ceiling. Your hands crawled down, passed the waist band of your pyjama shorts and underwear. You touched yourself and sighed.

Your fingers rubbed delicately against your clit while you leant against the kitchen bench.

You tried to imagine someone...Lloyd…the detective. He had a warmth his face. Lloyd would never rape you though, he was good, he was honest…

You moaned softly, imagining his warm hands groping your skin and his lips kissing your skin.

Fingering yourself, in and out, in and out.

You were imagining Lloyd speaking to you. He was currently the most attractive man you’d made contact with in weeks...other than August who essentially raped you.

What kind words would Lloyd say? “I washed our clothes, finished the dishes, now come here and let me fuck you.” ‘Oh yea that’s fucking hot.’

You imagined he would be gentle and soft before using more strength in his hips. His lips would be soft and hot. He would protect you and play sexy policeman. You might not have been a fan of the justice system but you were confident Lloyd would fill in a police uniform very well.

So why did your body start to dry up?

You didn’t know what you were doing wrong. You were riding your fingers and teasing your clit…why couldn’t you cum? You felt weird doing this now. It was strange to think before you met August you could cum very easily, after your dad- well you hadn’t touched yourself because you weren’t thinking about sex for a while until the millionaire stepped into your life.

After the third time of unsuccessful release, you punched the arm of the chair and started searching sex toys on your phone.

You weren’t totally sure if the prices were worth it for a piece of painted pink silicone. And there were strange shapes you were amazed were even designed to fit into a human….‘a whole fist? Surely that’s satire,’ you thought, ‘it shouldn’t be possible. It would be like reverse birth?’

You settled on buying a “rabbit dildo with thrusting pleasure.” You rolled your eyes at the name. You slapped your phone down and sighed, rubbing your eyes.

The hour was late.

Your first paycheck would be coming in soon. It was the smell of a small victory.

10:33am Friday 16th August 2024, Queen Street Westfield Shopping centre, Brisbane.

“What should I wear…” you hummed as you flipped through the dresses. Some of these dresses cost the amount of a new iPhone. You bit your lip. ‘Maybe I can return them tomorrow and give Lloyd his money back?’

A sales clerk came up, “Need some help?” She was blonde, curvy and tall. A supermodel compared to your body. You blushed.

“I’m looking to wear something to one of the high end clubs like The Lion Lounge, he’s having a nineteen twenties theme soiree this evening?”

Her lips widened, “Well, we do have many suitable gowns and even pantsuits for that social class, what designer were you thinking?”

You balked and worried that she would see you sweat, “Oh…I um…I’ll be super frank…I have not a clue what I’m doing…it is my first time to something so spectacular.”

The clerk’s eyes softened, her lips pursed, “Well! Let me help you then! These gowns you’re looking at are definitely not old twenties glam worthy! Right this way!”

Your cheeks buzzed as you were led into a dressing room and made to try on multiple styles, designers and colours of dresses.

She asked if you were getting your nails done and gasped when you said you hadn’t thought about it.

She was like a fairy godmother. She went the extra mile to call up the other stores in the mall to book appointments. You hadn’t felt so pretty ever in your life until then

She appeared stunned by the cash you laid on her counter.

Your nails were french tips with a holographic clear coat. You received a quick arm and leg wax and eyebrow shaping. The makeup matched the entire outfit. Your dress clung to your best assets and shaped your body with a clutch purse and low heels to match. Your hair was gelled and hairsprayed down into finger waves. And a lather of pearls circled around your throat and wrists.

The long finger of your dress tickled your calfs down to your small kitten heels.

You looked incredible, it took your breath away to see the glow up….

Lloyd thought so too.

HELPLINES:

If you are a victim of sexual abuse, assault or domestic violence or know someone who is please reach out to these links that share helpline services, phone numbers or emails. Consent and respect is important in every relationship whether between friends, family or even strangers. .

Australian Helpline Services

UK Helpline Services

American Helpline Services

India Helpline Services.

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melt-into-the-night · 2 months ago

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I haven’t put in my two cents about Kelly Monaco yet so I’ll do it now I guess lol.

I love the character of Sam. I started watching not long after she first entered the canvas and I was a fan straight away. I loved her ride or die love of Jason and how bad ass and resourceful she was when they were in fight or flight mode. I loved JaSam. I loved her villain era when they broke up the first time, and I loved the relationship Lucky and Sam formed and how it went from a toxic rebound to make their previous significant others squirm to a real loving relationship where we got to see them bring the best out of each other, and I love that it was really the first road to a much more independent Sam. As much as I loved Jason and Sam, the first time round she really had no life outside of him. So it was nice to see her becoming a PI, finding a friendship with Maxie, and building her relationships with Alexis, Kristina and Molly and really becoming a family unit, and that her and Jason reunited only when all of that was established. It was a refreshing new take on their relationship and my favorite version of it. And when Jason died the first time, I liked when she found loved with Patrick, I liked her chemistry with Billy Miller’s Jason, though not gonna lie, it got weird when other Jason came back, he became Drew with Jason’s memories still in tact and she stayed with him for a while only to go back to Jason again. And of course when they broke them up again, and the show put her with Dante, I loved their potential and thought she has good chemistry with Dante too.

All of that said, I think there are two elephants in the room that people aren’t talking about enough. The first being that something changed in Kelly the second Billy Miller got let go from the show, it’s like her heart wasn’t in it anymore. The fiery bad ass personality that we seen in Sam up until then was no longer shining through, even when they put JaSam back together. It just wasn’t the same. People can and have speculated that she sabotaged the JaSam relationship, maybe had no interest in working with Steve because she blamed Billy’s firing on Steve wanting his role back. Whether it’s true or not doesn’t really matter cause at the end of the day, any viewer could see she didn’t seem all that invested any more after he left. Maybe Billy passing away a few years later factored in as well. Who knows.

The second elephant in the room is that the writing for Sam when the show bothers to even write for her has been absolutely abysmal as well. The bizarre wishy/washy way they treat her interactions with Jason since he came back has been giving me whiplash. And just generally speaking, they really stripped away all the things that made Sam, Sam. Her fearlessness, her ride or die attitude for her significant other, the passion for her work as a PI, having her be a mom that doesn’t trust or teach her kids to be prepared for anything instead of the cool mom she could have been that teaches her kids survival skills in a crisis and to be resourceful and to pay attention to their surroundings and trusting that they will grow up to be just fine no matter what kind of life they choose to live…like watching Sam has become a train wreck with what appears to be no desire to fix it.

I can’t even justify them keeping her on at this point, even if the petitions work it’s not like the writing will get any better, and with Kelly barely giving anything to the show in the last decade, I also can’t see her even wanting to come back knowing the people in charge don’t want her there. If anything the writing would just get worse out of spite.

#general hospital

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aeoki · 4 months ago

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Atlantis - Amusement Park: Chapter 7

Location: Yumenosaki Auditorium Characters: Touri & Wataru Season: Winter

Touri: “No. It’s precisely because the era and our positions have changed that the noble, elegant and popular ‘fine’...”

“Is now giving food reviews for affordable and delicious food – as everyone can see.”

“Otherwise, they wouldn’t be able to survive in the idol industry that ES had changed.”

“We won’t be able to survive in the future if we just sing and dance.”

“We’ll have nice photos taken of us, act in tragedies and comedies, talk about interesting things…”

“The idols of the future won’t just be singers – the industry now demands idols to have a variety of skills.”

“No. That was what idols were supposed to be originally.”

“But as time went on, our predecessors started to ignore that.”

“They distorted our existence, and that distortion created a lot of strife and misfortune.”

“I think those negative consequences also affected the other courses.”

“I honestly acknowledge that happening and I apologise. I’m sorry.”

“You all suffered because we were useless – because we weren’t like proper idols…”

“For that, I’m truly sorry.”

Amano Hashidate (Wataru): (Amazing.)

(That’s wonderful. It’s because people thought of him as someone arrogant that seeing him bow down and apologise has greatly stirred the hearts of the people watching him.)

(Something that was supposed to be impossible is happening right now.)

(He’s making us really feel that things have begun changing.)

(He’s giving us hope for the future. That’s something that didn’t exist for a very long time in Yumenosaki. Everyone was pessimistic about the future and also powerless against it…)

(Eichi and “Trickstar’s” revolution changed that. You have inherited “that” and will build upon it.)

(You helped us envision that “story” with just that attitude alone.)

(Amazing. Ohh, how Amazing.)

Touri: “Now that the idol industry and the world has changed, Yumenosaki must also do the same.”

“No. I, Touri Himemiya, will be the one to bring upon that change.”

“As the student council president of Yumenosaki Academy.”

Amano Hashidate (Wataru): “That is both beautiful and logical.”

(Now, summon your counterattack! How exciting!)

(I wouldn’t have minded acting like I’m losing and agreeing with what you’ve said, but I’d like to play some more ♪)

“What you said was very convincing. I’m touched.”

“But you mentioned that Yumenosaki must also change as the world has…”

“You haven’t presented any reasons as to why the person responsible for the change has to be Touri Himemiya.”

“In reality, anyone can be the one to wave a flag. Of course, that applies to myself as well.”

“No. Although it is embarrassing for me to say, as the one desired by all and the one who theoretically has the most votes, wouldn’t that role be more suitable for me?”

“Let’s talk about the crucial matter. Is there a reason why the student council president must be you?”

Touri: “That’s because I’m the most powerful here.”

“That’s out of everyone here – including you. No, out of everyone at Yumenosaki.”

“Everyone here has seen what I’ve gone through before standing on this stage.”

“Even the people who are watching the livestream online should know since it’s a pretty hot topic.”

“Right now, Yumenosaki Academy has turned into a strange amusement park that no one has ever seen before.”

“This is the blueprint for the amusement park I’m planning on building in the future – ‘ATLANTIS’.”

“You can see an alternate reality brought by VR by putting these contact lenses on.”

“Well, it looks like fun, don’t you think? It’s an entertainment facility that combines the best parts of an amusement park and an aquarium. Obviously that has to be fun, right?”

“If you feel something’s lacking and wish to complain, then feel free to send in your opinions. We’ll implement them.”

“I think this amusement park, ‘ATLANTIS’, will be a wonderful recreational facility that will make people smile.”

“It’s just an illusion at the moment, but I’ll definitely make it a reality in the future.”

Amano Hashidate (Wataru): “Objection ♪ How is that related to the student council president election?”

Touri: “It is related. It’s proof that the one who will be the student council president is someone who can turn absurd things into reality.”

“I’m Touri Himemiya.”

“I’m sure you all already know but I'm an heir to a wealthy family.”

“I’ll use our excess funds and power for Yumenosaki Academy– no, for everyone that’s here – that, I promise.”

“That’s if you vote for me to be the student council president.”

“I’ll turn all your dreams into reality.”

“I’ll turn this school and this world into an amusement park that will make everyone smile.”

“Naturally, that ‘everyone’ doesn’t just mean the idol course – it includes everyone from the other courses too.”

“I’ll erase the dissatisfaction you all have that Hashidate-san mentioned.”

Amano Hashidate (Wataru): “............”

Touri: “...Adults and idols who are threatened by vested interests might complain.”

“But I definitely won’t let them complain. I’m sure there will be an official announcement made afterwards, but ‘ATLANTIS’ is an important facility for the idol industry.”

“If the project is completed with a high degree of perfection, then I’ll be able to gain an influential voice in the industry.”

“I’d have an achievement under my name – I’ll be known as someone who accomplished a great undertaking.”

“No one will be able to complain if I’m standing on the top as the imperial standard. That goes the same for the obstinate adults, Yumenosaki Academy… and everyone else..”

“I won’t let them do whatever they want on our stage of youth.”

“I’ll turn our school, Yumenosaki Academy, into…”

“A utopia, into heaven – into a paradise.”

“It’s simple. Just vote for me and I can grant your wish.”

“So please. Please vote for me.”

“I won’t ask you to love me.”

“Just believe in me.”

ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤ← Previous Chapter ᠂ ⚘ ˚⊹˚ ⚘ ᠂ Next Chapter →

#atlantis

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last-night-is-a-blur · 2 years ago

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If Sam wants to show hetty about how unfair society was when she was alive, make her see any a Christmas carol film. The book would of been available to read during hetty’s life. I think the story is criticising the very rich ie Scrooge

That would be really interesting. The promo for the christmas special implies that Sam loves Christmas, and I can imagine the holiday season would give her (or anyone vaguely aware 19th century classic or popular culture) inspiration for that exact idea. I can imagine Hettie refusing to accept it as a valid point, since it’s all just fiction, or treating it as propoganda against the rich.

The book would have been published around the time of her birth, so unless there were some major changes during the next 5 decades, and differences between uk and usa, regarding the classism and working condition of the working classes, and other issues relevant to the story, then Christmas Carol should portray a world familiar to Hettie. Regardless of any differences between Scrooge’s life and Hettie’s, classism, income equality, greed, selfishness, stinginess and poor treatment of lower classes and employees are, sadly, relevent throughout time and place, especially in larger and more complex societies. I haven’t read the original story, but I have seen a movie adaption or two (Mickey’s Christmas Carol and the GoodTimes Entertainment’s version), but from what I gather one of the most important messeges is that poverty isn’t the fault of the poor (or, at least not always, or not entirely) and that people have a social and moral responsibility towards those in need.

Hettie has many similarities to Scrooge. She is from the same era, she was rich, classist, not very compassionate, especially to those who had less means then her, rude, neglected as a child, and she was probably lonely throughout her life. We don’t know if she had friends or close relationships with her family. Her line about Thor being there for her when no one else was, implies at least a lonely childhood. Her marriage was loveless, and it seems she didn’t have any affairs of her own.

She is different of course, in that she seems like someone who would actually spend her money, and enjoyed the luxuries it could buy. She had children, and she seems to care about familial connection, based on her treatment of Sam, and her comments about Sophie in the Halloween episode.

It would be funny, and kind of on-brand for Hettie to watch the movie and learn the wrong lesson. She has a tendency to learn the wrong lesson, or only partially learn her lesson. She might get offended at how much Scrooge is demonized for being careful with his money, instead of "squandering it on poor people", or simply decide that the lesson is to buy everyone's love so you don't die (o spend your afterlife) alone. She could become so terrified, that she would try and turn around a new leave, but with mixed-results. She could simply be appalled by how Scrooge lives despite being wealthy. Or she would simply decide that since she is dead and doesn't techinically own material things anymore, that this doesn't apply to her, though given how possesive she is of the house, I doubt it.

A Christmas Carol could be used as a basis for a episode plot, or even just a single scene or a running gag in a Christmas special.

I think cbs ghost would be the perfect show for a Christmas Carol inspired holiday episode. I mean, it's a sitcom, which are known for adapting famous work of fiction into episodes, and we already got mansion filled with ghosts, one of them who is literally a rich, greedy, victorian with a somewhat ruthless attitude towards life. But it would be funny to simply have a small b-plot, or a single scene where someone tries to force Hettie to have her “Scrooge epiphany”, where the joke is that she see through it, or simply fails to grasp the message.

If it’s just a single scene, then I love the idea of Thor or Sass telling her a tale from their culture, which was either intentionally or unintentionally inspired by Christmas Carol, to scare her straight, but Hettie sees right through it, beause she knew the story. It would also be funny if she didn’t know it, because her parents forbade her from reading it, because they thought it was nothing but propoganda against the rich.

As for a full episode adaption, then I can imagine a few ways that could go.

While I would personally not love it, I could imagine Hettie watching xmas carol and having a nighmare.

A better idea imo, would be Sas learning about christmas carol, and the storyteller in him would drive him to create a scenario based on the story, and get the other residents to join. They would because they are bored and they want to teach Hettie a lesson (and in Isaac's and Alberta's case, because they are performers at heart).

Sam could fill the role of Fred, as a younger relative who wants Hettie to open herself up to other values. Pete could be Bob, since he is kind and descent family man. Tiny Tim could be a child sick with something that would be life threating in Hettie’s lifetime, but is easily treatable today, unbeknowst to Hettie. He could be Pete’s grandson whose family is at the B&B, or Mark could come to fix something, and bring his son with him.

Thorfinn is jolly, but harsh and blunt, so he could be ghost of Christmas present. The plague ghosts could be the Want and Ignorance (Sidebar: Want and Ignorance reminds me of a few figures in norse mythology, especially Ganglati and Ganglöt, the slaves of Hel. Their names both means “lazy at walking” - löt and lati being the female and male version of the adjective lazy. Hel also has a few object named after negative things, like utensils named named starvation and hunger, so these figures remind me of Want and Ignorance).

Sass would be great as the ghost of Christmas past, as the second oldest ghost, and the story teller. I don’t know who could play the role of Christmas yet to be. Maybe a basement ghost, or Jay in a costume. Or Crash - and the reason he doesn’t say anything is simply becausae he doesn’t have his head.

Jacob’s Marley role is harder to cast. Maybe Elias, who somehow pops up for a moment, despite it not being Halloween, or the other residents could pretend that he is contatcting Hettie from Hell.

Alternetively, we could simply have one of the residents tell Hettie some story, real or made up, as warning.Isaac or Trevor could also suffice. Isaac and her consider each other equals, and have some similiar flaws (elitist, classist). Trevor seems to have been focused on gathering wealth in his life. As presumably rich, status focused men, they could both tell her cautionary tales from their time among the living, or they could tell Hettie that they believe ther reason they are stuck ghosts is because of their greed or lack of compassion and generosity. Maybe even make up a lie about narrowly escaping getting dragged to hell. Thor could pretend he was left behind by his shipmates because of his greed and miserly ways, and he just lied about not knowing why they abandoned him out of shame.

#hettie woodstone #ghost cbs #sam arondekar #thorfinn cbs ghosts #sassapis ghosts #isaac higgintoot #alberta haynes #trevor lefkowitz #jay arondekar #pete martino

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dankusner · 3 months ago

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How “Industry” Made Prestige TV for the TikTok Era

In the first episode of the third season of “Industry,” which premières this weekend on Max, a new character is introduced to the show’s ensemble.

“Industry” focusses on the British office of a fictional investment bank called Pierpoint; the wide-open trading floor, crammed with desks and Bloomberg terminals, is the center of the action.

The newcomer is a young woman named Sweetpea Golightly, played by Miriam Petche, who stands in the middle of the floor filming herself with her iPhone.

“So this is a morning in the life of a sales and trading graduate,” she says to her social-media followers.

“Shout-out to all my corporate girlies!”

She’s approached by Yasmin Kara-Hanani (Marisa Abela), a slightly more senior Pierpoint employee and one of the show’s protagonists, who incredulously tells Sweetpea that she can’t film there.

But Sweetpea is doing her job, in more than one sense of the word—she’s working as a bank employee and also performing as one online.

It’s an early signal that the show is of and for the TikTok era, a time when the hustle is not just corporate.

Later, it emerges that Sweetpea also runs an OnlyFans account: she has no compunction about commodifying herself in the same way as any of Pierpoint’s financial products.

“Industry” is something of a cult hit.

It premièred in late 2020 and was polarizing; its barrage of ringing phones and finance-speak was both transportive and alienating, a jittery throwback to a world of crowded offices.

But the show is now set to achieve a new level of fame, as its third season takes the heralded Sunday 9 P.M. slot on HBO, the one once occupied by “Game of Thrones” and “Succession.”

Kit Harington, better known as Jon Snow, of “Thrones,” even guest-stars this season as Henry Muck, the chaotic, upper-crust founder of a green-energy startup.

The show is poised as the inheritor of the prestige-TV mantle, but it doesn’t quite look or act like what we’ve come to expect from the genre.

Watching it is something like scrolling through thirty-second clips of “Mad Men” out of order on TikTok, or watching “Succession” on 2X speed.

I mean that mostly as a compliment.

“Industry” ’s first two seasons were headlong experiments in character, pacing, subplot, and audiovisual stimuli, sometimes extreme to the point of incomprehensibility.

The third titrates the formula perfectly; as if to simulate the characters’ habitual bumps of coke and ketamine, the plot jolts forward and shudders to a halt, to maximize the drama.

It’s like the opposite of A.S.M.R., an indulgence for the Internet-torched attention span, offering stimulus at every turn.

“I haven’t done blow since 9/11!” Eric Tao (Ken Leung), the featured Pierpoint team’s Machiavellian boss and problematic mentor, says in one of the season’s best one-liners, an art form that “Industry” has perfected.

“Industry” is fundamentally about a “young person in a work environment,” Mickey Down, the series’ British millennial co-creator, alongside Konrad Kay, told me.

(The two both briefly worked in finance.)

In the third season, the once fresh-faced interns are hard-bitten staff members, facing more challenges outside of the office than within it.

The American enfant terrible Harper Stern, played by Myha’la, has been ejected from Pierpoint but scrambles into a seemingly ethical investment fund focussed on the corporate buzzword E.S.G. (“environmental, social, and governance”).

Yasmin’s wealthy, abusive father has disappeared, along with much of the family fortune, attracting the attention of paparazzi and gossip papers.

Robert Spearing (Harry Lawtey), not particularly good at his job, casts about for a deeper purpose and identity, and yearns for Yasmin to return his affections.

All the while, a new generation comes up under this group, even more brazen with their ambitions.

Kay characterized the Gen Z attitude toward both work and social media as “How quickly can you pay me to be who I am?”

Down added, “I don’t think the show would work in the millennial context, because too many people are apologizing for the fact that they want to be successful.”

The Pierpont crew doesn’t want to dismantle capitalism; they feel owed its fruits.

Petche emphasized that her character, Sweetpea, “wants to be seen doing very well.”

She continued, “It’s not quiet luxury; it’s more loud luxury.”

Where “Succession” cultivated a vogue for the richly understated, wealth as material and psychological insulation, “Industry” runs on sensory excess and blatant striving.

Ethics are both unaffordable and an unthinkable burden in the face of rampant competition.

No one in “Industry” is ever safe.

Kay said that the creators’ credo for the third season was “How many minutes of TV can you sustain where it feels like it’s an anxiety attack, where so much is happening that it almost becomes self-parody?”

He has said that the show enables “second-screen” watching—that is, looking at your phone at the same time—but it’s hard to look away.

Whereas a show like Netflix’s “Emily in Paris” is happy for its viewers to step back for ten minutes knowing that they won’t miss anything important, “Industry” crams in arc-changing twists—companies falling, relationships ending—in mere minutes.

A viewer might miss the pivotal, split-second reveal that Henry has an intense fetish for urine.

“Mad Men” built itself on the slow burn, each twist arduously set up.

In contrast, Down told me of “Industry,” “The show works best when it’s operating at a very, very fast pace.”

This sense of speed is heightened by the visual and auditory landscape of the show, which captures the frenetic way we experience life as refracted through digital technology.

The cinematography is improvisational; the frame wavers, whirls around, and chases the characters.

Federico Cesca, a cinematographer for Season 3, explained, “The camera is very reactive to the action, not the other way around.”

Cesca tries to instill suspense—the camera, like the audience, doesn’t know what’s going to happen next.

He works to keep the set free of standing lighting in order to move more freely.

“It’s shot a little bit like you were doing a documentary,” he said.

The camera swings inquisitively, the way someone might wield a smartphone; certain shots resemble the clips you might catch on social media documenting an embarrassing public incident.

Yasmin, in particular, is surrounded by the panopticon of phone cameras, from passersby as well as paparazzi.

A bus rider captures her chugging from an extremely expensive bottle of red wine, a gift from Henry.

As the camera hurtles around, the soundtrack does, too.

The synth-heavy music, evoking the lasers of a space battle in a nineteen-seventies science-fiction movie, is by the electronic composer Nathan Micay and has served as one of the defining features of “Industry.”

It is propulsive and insistent, sometimes occluding the action by persisting beyond entire scenes.

“I try to think of the whole thing as a pop song, almost,” Micay told me.

For the young characters, “being on a trading floor is like being on a dance floor at Berghain, in Berlin,” he said. “I wanted the music to have that level of kinetic energy and jubilation and euphoria.”

Micay described a note that he has often received from Kay and Down:

“Do what you did, but make it sick.”

By now, he said, he knows “what their vision of ‘sick’ is.”

In each season, he has upped the intensity.

Micay’s signature pattern for “Industry,” the chord-fracturing notes of an arpeggio, has got faster over time.

In the first season, the arpeggios were in sixteenth notes; in the second season, they shrank to thirty-second and sixty-fourth notes.

In the third, each note in a sixteenth-note arpeggio is sliced into its own arpeggio of thirty-second notes.

Drums come in for the first time this season, inspired by the otherworldly soundtrack to the 1988 sci-fi anime film “Akira.”

“You lose yourself in the sauce,” Micay said.

When Yasmin goes to a posh basement handball court to meet Henry, ahead of his company’s I.P.O., a dark low-pitched synth blares over the scene, as if a void is opening underneath the characters.

As the season progresses and tensions rise, the synths grow increasingly complex.

“It’s more and more like this house of cards is about to tumble,” Micay said.

Things do tumble—you can depend on “Industry” for a non-incremental plot.

The third season ends with such momentum, so far from its beginning, that it would be impossible to predict or spoil.

The show has not yet been renewed for a fourth, but it charges ahead regardless; there is little hint of closure.

“Industry” might be seen as extreme: too fast, too loud, too confusing.

But if the past few months have taught us anything, it’s that reality itself swerves too quickly to be coherent.

The culture of our moment is responding to this feeling of acceleration by embracing it.

Therapeutic ketamine has become legal.

youtube

Some of the most indelible sounds of the summer, such as Charli XCX’s album “BRAT” and the soundtrack to Luca Guadagnino’s “Challengers,” are synth-club bangers, less interested in morality than in pure brain-tickling pleasure.

TikTok influencers turn their lives into moment-by-moment content, and the algorithmic feed serves them to millions of viewers. The twentieth-century modernist credo was “Make it new”; we are entering a phase of “Make it more.”

One can’t fault Down and Kay’s characters for leaning in.

youtube

#Youtube

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fleetways · 11 months ago

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chimera baby fact of the day: why you should vote for Mira aka Chimera Baby. An essay by me.

@sonic-oc-showdown

TLDR at end.

When it comes to original characters on the internet, there is perhaps no example more infamous that those of the sonic the hedgehog franchise. Since the franchise’s very inception, original characters have served as a cornerstone to the series’ identity, and everyone who could call themselves a web-user during the 2000s/2010s knows exactly what I’m referring to when I say “Sonic OC.”

Sonic, in general, has had gained infamy on the internet for being one of its favorite punching bags, and nothing exemplifies this attitude more than the reaction to the hundreds of thousands of original characters for the franchise that exist across the web. Everyone knows them, and everyone knows the common tropes: traced Sonic-X screencaps, crude deviantart bases drawn over in MSPaint, mary-sues that our main characters are hopelessly in love with, characters that are just mish-mashes of existing characters, and of course, fanchildren.

To the average person, the existence of Sonic OCs is a spectacle, a hilarious and cringe-worthy spectacle to the point where it’s become a game to search up “(your name) + the hedgehog” and spend a couple minutes laughing at how bad the results are.

Now, I’ve been a casual sonic enjoyer since I first watched Sonic X back in the mid-2000s, but I didn’t really get into the series as a fan until around 2015. If you don’t know, the early to mid 2010s was a point where Sonic’s reputation was straddling the fine line between “complete joke” and “complete irrelevancy.” The disastrous Sonic Boom had just dropped following a lackluster reception of Sonic Lost World, and the social media and marketing angle of Sonic had shifted entirely into “they’re not laughing at us, they’re laughing with us!” territory. The official Sonic Twitter account became a meme in itself during this time, and I believe is one of the earliest examples of a corporate social media account taking a “How do you do fellow kids” approach of using popular internet memes and hip lingo to appeal to an internet-savvy generation.

(^this last tweet is still up, btw. i will be getting back to this)

With the social media going full “sanic, gotta go fast, haha kissing princess” and the games mostly abandoning its serious tones and stories for a greater focus on meta-humor, Sonic had official entered what has been come to be known as the “Meta Age.” The public may see Sonic as a complete joke, but it’s okay because we’re in the know that he’s a complete joke! Wink wink. (—Sega marketing circa 2015-2017)

I’m getting away from myself. “John Fleetways,” you’re asking right now, “what does this have to do with Chimera Baby or Sonic OCs??”

And to that I say this; I am currently soaking in the bathtub and thought I would use my day off from work to finally air some of my thoughts regarding the era of Sonic the Hedgehog I’m most familiar with. But also I think providing context is helpful in understanding why I think it’s so cool Chimera Baby made it this far in a poll like this. Moving on.

In 2015 I was in middle school, a horrible period in many of our lives. Middle schoolers are at that perfect age where they’re old enough to know cruelty but haven’t quite fully grasped empathy yet, so as the “Sonic Kid” during this time I’m sure you can guess how popular I was. Genuinely, I was very ashamed of my love for Sonic. This very blog I’m writing on now started in 2015 as a quarantine for me to keep any inclination of my fondness towards the series hidden away under lock and key. I reblogged fanart with no commentary, lest others think I was some kind of weirdo who had OPINIONS on SONIC THE HEGDEHOG. It took months for me to work up the courage to post my own art, and any shipping art was absolutely out of the question (because now THAT was cringe!!).

With time, I became more involved in the Sonic Tumblr community around 2016-2017 leading up to the release of Sonic Forces (which could be a whole essay in itself). There was one thing above all else I noticed at this time—something unique to the Sonic Tumblr scene as opposed to other Sonic communities on the internet. That is, of course, how much less homophobic it was.

Homophobia (and transphobia) has been a notorious problem in the Sonic fanbase, particularly in the mid 2010s. It’s an issue I’ve talked a little about on this blog before, but it’s really hard to describe just how prevalent it was on every site outside of tumblr unless you were there at the time. Folks, it was bad, especially in comparison to other fandoms. Much like the simple act of making a Sonic OC, “making Sonic characters gay” was “cringe” in itself. Hugely popular Sonic fanartists and bloggers (some of which are still active on Tumblr to this day) would openly express their opposition to “homosexuality” and the depiction of it, and this was a fact no one seemed like they wanted to address (or if you did, you’d be accused of “starting drama.” Sonic Tumblr was better by a long shot than any other site for queer fans, but it definitely wasn’t perfect).

The worst part was that the official Sonic social media team seemed to have no problems reinforcing these attitudes. For those unaware, “identifying as an attack helicopter,” as seen in the tweet above, is a transphobic joke that was used by right-wingers and edgy 4chan users to invalidate transgender and non-binary identities.

The Twitter takeover following the release of Sonic Forces included questions regarding two Sonic ships. When proposed with the concept of Sonic and Amy in a romantic relationship, the voice actors act coy, embarrassed, but in a good-natured manner. It’s a clear hint-hint wink-wink nudge moment trying to appeal to the fans of a popular pairing. As for the equally popular gay pairing, though, it doesn’t quite get the same treatment. No, when presented with a question about Sonadow (one they did not have to answer, they chose to answer this question out of hundreds of others) the actors can only respond with disgust and horror.

There was some backlash on tumblr following this exchange, but for most people it just made sense that Sonic Official would treat it like a joke. After all, this was Sonadow! A lot of people hated Sonadow because it was gay! Sonadow was a joke because it was gay! It was hilarious to a lot of people that Sonic Official seemed to know just how weird it was, and in turn those people felt validated by the company for their hate! And just to cover my ass here, I am not saying that people who don’t like Sonadow are homophobic. didn’t even like Sonadow that much at the time this stuff was happening, but no one is gonna tell me it wasn’t homophobic as fuck for them to pull that shit. And as a young queer fan who was deeply hurt by a lot of the homophobia surrounding a series I loved, it left an impact on me that I feel to this day.

Luckily, today things are much brighter as far as lgbt-friendliness goes than they were a few years ago, from both the fandom side and the company side of things. The days of Sonadow being treated as only a joke are pretty much gone, and regardless of your opinion on the pairing, it’s awesome to see that the official sonic sources seem to be taking steps to treat their queer audience and queer pairings with respect. In addition to this change, mostly gone is the era of self-referential, punching-down humor of the mid 2010s, and instead what I’ve seen is a new resurgence in genuine love for the franchise and it all it has to offer, including original characters!

And now, we have the Sonic Oc Showdown—a tournament whose purpose is to celebrate the original characters that for nearly 30 years have been considered the butt of the joke of the internet, aka “peak cringe.” Upon examining my history with the fandom, starting off as a kid horrified by the prospect of enjoying Sonic even in private, I’ve recently begun to strive to wear “cringe” as a badge of honor. Yes, I am cringe, but in the words of some tumblr user at some point: “I may be cringe, but I am free.”

This year has been particularly freeing for me. Like a lot of people, I made fanchildren back in the day. There’s something undeniably fun about taking two blorbos and shoving them together and drawing the resulting hybrid. There’s a reason fusions, like fanchildren, are such a popular trope in the Sonic fanbase. One result of there being so many fanchildren, however, is how tropes begin to emerge within the tropes. For example: A lot of Sonadow fankids look the same. It’s just the truth. Black hedgehogs with blue stripes or blue hedgehogs with red stripes, an amalgamation of recognizable traits from both parents that immediately tells you exactly all you need to know about the character (but still manages to be more creative than the offspring present in official sonic media [looking at you Archie]). I am no exception to this rule.

Circa 2018, I had made my own Sonadow fanchild. She was a blue hedgehog with red stripes named Maria—it really doesn’t get more cliche than that. Over the years I had completely forgotten about her, only to remember her once I stumbled across some crude sketches of her on some scrap paper I found while cleaning my room. There was an earnestness when I looked at them, a nostalgia I think we can all relate to when we look at our old art, and I took some time to whip up some redesigns and leave it at that. “Maria” faded to the back of my mind once more. I moved on.

“Maria” c. June 2022. Like Shadow had Terios and Silver had Venice, this was Mira’s beta design in a way^. Yikes. Look at those McDonald’s shoes.

And then, everything would change at the end of 2022 when I first found that image of the bootleg sonic and shadow plush. It was incredible: a design that perfectly encapsulated every cliche I could think of when it came to designing Sonic x Shadow fanchildren. The concept of a chimera character followed shortly after, and mainly on a whim I took some old sketches of “Maria” and turned her into the chimera baby we know today. I decided to post her on my blog, and to my shock, the post blew up. And soon, I found a familiar feeling creeping over me as more and more people gazed upon her.

“Uh oh, am I gonna be known as the sonadow chimera kid guy now?”

Suddenly I felt 14 again, hiding all my sonic stuff in a side blog where no one could see it. It was a little embarrassing, but the thing is, a lot of people liked her! Just half a decade ago, I could see this concept being submitted to one of those “cringe” blogs dedicated mostly to making fun of mostly young and beginning artists trying their hand out at an oc for the first time. But instead what I got was a lot of love! People saw this oc i made based off a joke, a bootleg plushie of Sonic and Shadow sewn together designed to be a parody of all the common fankid tropes and said “this rules.” And you know what? It did rule.

I would now like to address the elephant in the room. I know there are some who are not happy Chimera Baby made it this far into the competition, and that’s fine. As a fankid, and a “joke” one at that, some may not see her as being worthy as some of the ocs she beat. It’s tough to see, but that’s the thing about tumblr polls—you never know how or why people are gonna cast their vote. Over the course of these weeks, I’ve had to root against some fantastic characters, and now, Mira is here, but she’s not the same character as she was at the start. Yes, she is still a parody sonadow fankid based off a bootleg plush, but before she was just a concept more than a character. Now, I can say she’s a character with a backstory and hobbies and skills and weaknesses and a personality and relationships! This is the first time I feel like I’ve ever had a fully fleshed-out oc, and it’s been a blast to share her with the world. She’s become real—you, dear voters, have made her real.

In a tournament like this, a tournament celebrating Sonic ocs rather than making fun of them, I think it’s incredibly cool that a character who epitomizes a lot of the aspects considered by many to be “peak cringe,” (fankids, fusions, and lgbt shipping) managed to make it this far. I want chimera baby to be a bastion for all those who like me, were once too embarrassed to share their oc designs, fankids or otherwise for fear they would be seen as cringe. I’m here to tell you that no, you are NOT cringe. It rules, and I want everyone who ever made a silly little fankid especially to know this.

So while Chimera Baby making it this far is already a big win for folks like us, I think her winning this would genuinely be a great Fuck You to the years of fun and whimsy cringe-culture tried to take away from us. Also I think it would be really funny.

ANYWAYS THATS ALL VOTE FOR CHIMERA BABY SONADOW NATION AND ALLYS AND PPL WHO WANNA CAUSE A LITTLE CHAOS RISE RISE RISE!!!

Tldr: sonic OCs have been the poster child for “cringe” for like 30 years so it’s cool that a fankid based off a lot of these “cringe” concepts has made it this far in a tournament celebrating the positive side of sonic ocs, and I think it would be a great fuck you to cringe culture if she won and also really funny

SONIC OC SHOWDOWN FINAL ROUND

Mira belongs to @fleetways

Squabble belongs to @sonic-adventure-3

Find out more about them below!

Chimera Baby "Mira":

Chimera Baby is a chimera (https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Chimera_(genetics)) and the oldest child of Sonic and Shadow. Mira was raised in the Chao Garden where she ate fruit and engaged in frequent karate matches and races and was very happy. As a young child she was very sweet and loving to her fathers but as she got older she has begun to experience latent Black Arms patricidal urges (exclusively towards Shadow).

Mira is the slowest in her family (but faster than you!), but has a very strong connection to chaos energy making her quite the powerhouse. However, she still has a long ways to go before she can actually hope to defeat Shadow. In her teen years Mira has become somewhat of a delinquent, speaking very little and preferring to get her messages across through action alone. She is the older sister of Mochi, who often acts as a mediator whenever she randomly tries to attack Shadow in the Costco.

Squabble the Pigeon:

incredibly cheerful untrained pilot and mechanic for a trio of freelance postal workers/hitman. LOVES airplanes and explosives and tinkering and package delivery, is a chronic pipe bomb maker, and has a boundless joie de vivre. she operates on cartoon physics, and has a messenger bag that functions as a hammerspace where she keeps her exposives, revolver, second identical revolver that pops a flag, bazooka, and everything else including the kitchen sink. incredibly cheerful and completely lacking in common sense or a coherent moral compass. about twelve, and on the short side.

#the 2000 word chimera baby essay darling #this is not proofread and has no sources but if u wanna know where i got something from idk just dm me or smth #chimera baby #text

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veryfancydoilies · 11 months ago

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Hello again! it’s your 🎅🏼

I hope you’re doing alright with your studies. I recently finished graduate school so I get where you’re coming from. My best advice—study well but also take time to care for yourself, I think that’s very important.

I LOVE Elizabeth Taylor! She’s actually one of my favourite hollywood actresses. I love her acting in the film/shakespeare play Taming Of The Shrew. I think she really nailed the main protagonist’s attitude and mannerisms in that one. I think she’s a beautiful person inside and out. I think my top favourite old hollywood actors/actresses would have to be Elizabeth Taylor, like I mentioned, Judy Garland, Julie Andrews, Olivia Hussey, James Dean, Clint Eastwood, Robert Redford, just to name several.

Oh yes, those classic 90s films! they are always ever so nostalgic, aren’t they? It’s so endearing..

RAY DAVIES yess!! i love him dearly. He’s one of my top favourite musicians. He’s incredibly talented not only as a musician, but also an actor! I don’t know if you’ve seen his film Long Distance Piano Player but he is soo so good in that! Have you got any favourite Kinks albums? I never really appreciated their sound until this year and funny enough, I’m unusually drawn to their 60s stuff more so than their 70s stuff. Not sure why that is really, but there’s something unique about that early Kinks sound.

By the way, I don’t know if you’ve answered this yet but what is your favourite era for music? 60s? 70s? 80s? I’ve always been a fan of 60s-70s music so I’m always biased towards those two decades of music.

Great pick with those tracks by the way! And hm..let’s see..for the music asks: questions 1, 2 & 20 if you have the chance to answer :)

As always, it’s great chatting with you. Hope to hear from you soon!

Hi! First of all, I’m very sorry for my late reply!! I’ve been very busy with finals. I haven’t even decorated my tree! But thankfully I am now done with them all. So you finished graduate school? Good for you! I might go to graduate school myself but I want to test the waters a bit before committing to one first. I’d like to do an internship. What do you study? I’m a history major myself.

Yeah Elizabeth Taylor seemed like a very lovely person. I like her friendship with Montgomery Clift. Do you watch the earlier films she did as a child. I really enjoyed National Velvet and her small role in the Jane Eyre movie with Orson Welles and Joan Fontaine. I remember looking at her when I was younger and thinking she was so beautiful. Oh Olivia Hussey, another beautiful actress. Did you watch the 1968 Romeo and Juliet movie in high school? I think she was the best on-screen Juliet! I’ve seen a few of her other films All the Right Noises and Black Christmas. I’d like to see her in Murder n the Nile too. My favorite actors from era are Joseph Cotten, Leslie Howard, James Stewart, Edward G. Robinson, Ray Milland, and Vincent Price. Since it’s Christmas time, I’cpve been in the mood to watch classic Christmas movies. What are your favorites? I like The Lion in Winter (1968). Katharine Hepburn and Peter O’Toole were so good together! And the dialogue is terrific!

Yes Ray is amazing! Attractive too 😍. I’m aware of that Long Distance Player film but I’ve never watched it. But since you like it, I might watch it one of these days! I’d like to watch The Beatles movies too. I think Something Else and The Kinks are Village Green Preservation Society are the best. I even have a Something Else vinyl. Do you have vinyls? I also a Abbey Road from my dad. I totally get what you mean saying the Kinks sound unique from other artists from that era. I love the hint of humor in their songs.

I’ve explored 60s music more than any other era so I’m biased towards it but I like music from the 70s and 80s. In fact I remember a poll on Tumblr that asked which decade was the best. I chose 60s but the 70s were clearly in the lead. Do you think that’s the general consensus of classic rock fans? I guess maybe people tend to think of the 70s when it comes to rock music but what do I know? What other artists from the 60s do you like? I also like The Monkees, Herman’s Hermits, and The Electric Prunes.

Thanks for the asks! Here we go…

1. Catchiest song

Emily, Emily, can you see there’s nothing you can do? There’s loving everywhere but not for you. I sing this song to myself so much. I love it so much. I could listen to it over and over.

2. A song you didn’t expect to see in your Spotify Wrapped 2023

I knew I play this song a lot but I didn’t really expect it to be in my top 10. I thought if a Kinks song was going to be make it in, then it would be Sunny Afternoon or Death of a Clown. The only other Kinks song was So Long but I think that’s mostly because it’s at the top of my 60s playlist. Both great songs.

20. Happiest song

My favorite season is summer and this song is about the beginning of summer so I loved it instantly. It has such a happy and heartwarming sound! I love it! I imagine a beautiful summer day when I listen to it. What’s your favorite season by the way? Keith Relf was a member of the Yardbirds. This is one of his solos. I was sad to read that he passed away suddenly at a young age :(. He clearly still had so much to offer.

Anyways, thanks so much for stopping by! Happy Holidays to you!

#secret santa

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genshinlover101 · 3 years ago

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Hello! Can I request an a scenario for both Ganyu and Xiao where the two are told to look after a new adeptus (the gn reader) who is a qilin please?

Ganyu and Xiao Watching Over a Qilin Reader

Characters: Ganyu, Xiao

Warnings: mentions of boobs 😎

A/n: I kinda wrote Ganyu’s more provocative and Xiaos more angsty so I hope this is good even though they’re contrasting

• You were born in an era of peace, making you much younger than Ganyu even if you are an Adeptus. You haven’t made a contract with Rex Lapis, but you still served Liyue fervently. Ganyu was advised by Cloud Retainer to look after you in hopes that you would pick up some of her habits as a qilin hybrid.

• She knew the ins-and-outs of your body and how it would affect you mentally. She probably gave you a bell identical to hers to bond with you. She would also comfort you if Qiqi called you a cocogoat.

• Like Ganyu, because of your qilin heritage you were calm and gentle, Whenever you two were together it was frequently in comfortable silence. But sometimes Ganyu would make mundane conversation.

• It was somewhat awkward because of your nearly identical appearance some would mistake you for siblings. It was solely awkward because of the massive crush you had on your caretaker.

Although typically qilins don’t like their horns touched, if it was Ganyu it was okay. She stroked your horns in fascination, “It must be nice to have horns like this, I haven’t seen such youth in mine for centuries.” Her slender hands slowly traced the curvature of your right horn. You had a harsh blush plastered to your face.

“I’m so jealous even the color is more prominent.” She continued to trace the patterns of the red that streaked through them. You sat beside Ganyu, she was fairly close in order to touch your horns... In fact, too close. You knew Ganyu was oblivious but it made you cringe. You felt her breasts push up against your back as she reached towards your head. To make things worse, her touching your horns made you feel somewhat hypersensitive to your surroundings. It felt like your senses were ramped up twice as intense, which indeed highlighted your sense of touch.

“Miss Ganyu, as a qilin you should know what touching my horns is doing to me right now.” You combat, you didn’t want to take advantage of Ganyu in such a manner.

“Ah, you’re right. I apologize, I got too ahead of myself” She retracted her hands. Now she was aware of the situation it was your turn for revenge.

“After all Ganyu, Your horns are just as beautiful. Say~ if we weren’t both qilins I wouldn’t be able to tell the difference.” You made sure to stroke her horns even more attentively and she began to blush in return. “I’m just kidding Ganyu, I won’t tease you like that.” You took your hands away, but you kind of wish you did more.

She only pouted in return and sighed thinking what she was going to do with you, how was she supposed to supervise someone so mischievous.

• Xiao wasn’t a qilin or anything, but his existence exceeded most others being one of the contracted Yakshas. He wasn’t ordered or advised to watch over you either. Since you had Adeptus blood you lived longer than most, but you were born in an era of peace so you just wandered Liyue.

• You came across Wangshu Inn where you first met Xiao. He claims he lets you hang out around him but it is in fact the exact opposite. He follows you around making sure you’re 100% safe and is very protective over you whenever anything happens. You’re one of the few he will actually appear in front of if you call his name.

• Since you’re a qilin you have a calmer and gentle personality by nature. Xiao thinks that your personality balances out his more edgy ridged attitude.

• Because Xiao is somewhat of a mentor of Ganyu, he knows how to deal with qilin hybrids. That included the basic etiquette to never ask or even think about touching your horns, you respected that most about him.

“Xiao!” You called out in the middle of seemingly nowhere. Out of the thin air, Xiao appears with a gust of wind in front of you with a stoic expression. You often called him for dumb reasons so he wasn’t surprised to see you not in any mortal danger.

“You know one day you’ll call me and I won’t appear,” He threatened, looking down at you from a nearby lamppost that he used as a perch.

“Yea right,” you teased back, “You love me too much Xiao. Now open this jar for me.” You stuck out a small jar of jelly that was particularly stubborn. He rolled his eyes before jumping down from his perch, he swiped the jar from your clutch and ripped the cap off. You smiled and gave him a little tap on the head.

“Aren’t you supposed to have the blood of an illuminated beast, and you can’t open a simple jar?” He handed you the jar and folded his arms, “And I’m serious. One day the distance between us will be too great and you won’t be able to rely on me anymore like this.”

“Don’t patronize me, Xiao. If that day ever comes, then you try calling my name and I’ll come the same as you come to me.” Sometimes you wonder who relied on who, Xiao was always so fixated on pessimism. He truly believed one day you’d abandon him, you grabbed onto his hand, forcing a pinky-swear between you two. “I promise.”

Xiao only gave a sigh and disappeared as quickly as he came.

#ganyu x reader #xiao x reader #genshin impact #genshin x reader #genshin impact x reader #ganyu #xiao #genshin headcanons

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ratburg3r · 2 years ago

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What era does your character originate from?: 1910’s

How old was your character at their time of death?: 29

How did your character die? Is their any sort of visual indication of their cause of death?: A bunch of big names in politics were staying at Button House so she and a few other suffragettes chained themselves to the gate. The protest ended up backfiring and due to circumstances I haven’t figured out yet and she got abandoned there and starved to death chained to the gates of Button House. So, no. She doesn’t have any scars but she’s always really hungry.

Which if their fellow ghosts is your character closest to?: She’s closest to Captain since.. they’re both good friends with Dorothy?? And since they both died around the same time (about the same decade, I headcannon the captain died in the early 1910s) they got used to being dead together and bff-ed because of that.

Are their any ghosts that your character doesn’t get along with? If so, who, and why do they not get along?: She has falling outs with everyone from time to time but she particularly dislikes Julian and Fanny, Fanny because she finds her “lady-like” attitude tiring and Julian because she finds his humour crude and offensive and just the fact he’s a Tory annoys her, she gets along with Julian more though, often teaming up with him to attempt immoral schemes.

What’s your character’s relationship with Alison like?: She finds Alison smart and kind, they don’t have a lot in common but she’s always happy to talk to her.

Does your character have a romantic interest in anyone? If so, who? Is there a chance a relationship will blossom between them?: Definitely not, she’s still in mourning of her late lover. The loss is just as difficult on the dead as it is the living.

If it was your character’s turn to pick for film club what movie would they chose and why?: Chidy Chidy Bang Bang because she has a crush on Sally Ann Howes (the lady who plays Truely Scrumptious) but if she was choosing a more modern movie it’d surely be Enola Holmes

What kind of television shows does your character enjoy? Would any of the other ghosts want to watch with them?: She enjoys watching loose women with Mary and the news since she likes to keep herself up to date with what’s happening and she likes to hear about politics.

Does your character try to interact with Mike, despite knowing he cannot see nor hear them?: If you count trying to hit him over the head with a sign as interacting then yes.

What kinds of books would Alison buy for your character?: She loves mystery and action novels but a well wrote romance can easily appeal to her.

Does your character have any kind of special power? If yes, is their any meaning to why they have this particular power?: sadly no since I can’t think of anything that would match her personality or death.

How do they act on their death day? Do they become withdrawn, upset or does it simply not bother them anymore?: She’s noticeably more quiet and dreary but she asks no one to try to comfort her and if she gets overly upset she takes herself to her room to cry there (which for her is highly out of character, might I add, she has a tendency to be open about her emotions and if she’s upset about something she’ll go find someone to yell at to make herself feel better).

How do they react when realising they are dead and have became a ghost?: She’s shocked at the prospect of being a ghost and enjoys running through walls and floors but then the the reality of being dead sets in and she goes into a “mourning stage”, she spends the rest of her first day — first week — crying and avoiding the other ghosts, choosing to stay inconsolable, it takes her six weeks before she even begins the speak to the others. When she warms up to them she becomes a lot more accepting of her predicament.

What was your character’s relationship with their family/ friends when they were alive?: She only ever really got along with her mother since her father was quite distant and her sister wasn’t supportive of her.. “lifestyle”, she had two small friend groups, one being a group of suffragettes who she attended protests with and the other being a group of colleagues none of which knew her very well. The only person that really knew her was her lover Francis.

If your character saw Humphrey’s head left stranded on the floor what would they do?: To be honest I originally made this character so Humphrey had someone who he could depend on for help. She spends most her free time either reading or wandering around looking for Humphrey. He’s one of the more pleasant ghosts and he’s easy to get along with so she enjoys his company.

What kind of music does your character enjoy? Would they be willing to get up and preform in music club?: She’s found enjoys indie and rock, her favourite artists include the Beatles, Blondie and girl in red (no one’s surprised) and no she wouldn’t take part in music club since she’s not the best singer, though she can write lyrics Thomas usually does that so she just hangs around in the background or finds something else to do. Fun fact: when she was alive she could play the piano quite well but she always preferred to play when Francis is singing along.

What kind of activities does you character wish the could do put cannot because they are dead?: She really wants to be a politician and she hates how Julian had her dream and absolutely blew it! But apart from that she’d love to try archery, or play the piano again, oh how she’d love to play the piano, she so, so misses the old, out of tune, bug infested thing.

What would your character wear if they could today?: Black jeans, fancy white blouse and a black overcoat. She’s not doing anything important but she feels the need to dress up.

Did you character whiteness any of the deaths of the other ghosts hat died after them?: Only Pat because she was a part of the group watching his archery lesson, she joined in on Julian and Robin’s bet, by the way; she bet 15 quid he was dead.

How does your character feel about the plague ghosts?: Their appearances scare her and she can find talking to them quite overwhelming since there’s so many in such a small space but when she’s only talking to one of them she can get along with them decently well. She likes talking to the plague girl (can’t remember her name but I will update when I can) since she reminds her of what her sister used to be like before she became.. influenced.

Did your character die with anything in their pockets/hands? If so then what?: She died holding a sign that said ‘votes for women!’ she uses it to attack the other ghosts and pretends to hit the living when she’s mad at them.

BBC Ghosts OC Questions

I started writing these questions to help me develop my own original character, but I thought it might be fun for other people with Ghosts OCs to answer them as well! Feel free to reblog, and if you'd like to, tag me in your answers! I'd love to hear about the characters that other people have created.

What era does your character originate from?:

How old was your character at their time of death?:

How did your character die? Is there any visual indication of their cause of death?:

Which of their fellow ghosts is your character closest to?:

Are there any ghosts that your character doesn’t get along with? If so, who, and why do they not get along?:

What is your character’s relationship with Alison like?:

Does your character have a romantic interest in anyone? If so, who? Is there any chance that a relationship will blossom between them?:

If it was your character’s turn to pick for Film Club, what film would they choose and why?:

What kind of television shows does your character enjoy? Would any of the other ghosts want to watch with them?:

Does your character try to interact with Mike, despite knowing that he cannot see or hear them?:

What kind of books would Alison buy for your character?:

Does your character have a special power? If yes, is there any meaning to why your character has this particular power? (for example, is it related to how they died, or indicative of their personality?):

How do they act on their death day? Do they become withdrawn, upset, or does it simply not bother them anymore?:

How did they react to realising that they were dead and had become a ghost?:

What was your character’s relationship with their family/friends like when they were alive?:

If your character saw Humphrey’s head left stranded on the floor, what would they do?:

What kind of music would your character enjoy? Would they be willing to get up and perform for Music Club?:

What kind of activities does your character wish they could participate in, but cannot due to being dead? (Especially things that weren’t around when they were still alive):

What would your character wear if they could today?:

Did your character witness the deaths of any of the ghosts that died after them?:

How does your character feel about the plague ghosts?:

(Choose your own question! Ask me anything about my character!)

#slightly self indulgent rambles about my oc <33 #bbc ghosts #bbc ghosts oc #character creation #fandom oc #ask meme #bbc ghosts season 4 #original character #I highly doubt anyone will read all of this rambling but I had fun writing it 👍#text post

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the-scarlet-witch-22 · 4 years ago

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Chaconne: Part 2 (Agatha Harkness x Fem!Reader)

Summary: After auditioning for who is often considered to be the world’s scariest conductor, you begin working for Agatha Harkness and the Manhattan Symphony Orchestra.

Word Count: 4.9K

Link: Dvorak’s New World Symphony: Movement 4 (Performed by the Vienna Philharmonic)

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pGdtkUiKaA8

A/N: Hi everyone! I’m back with part two of Chaconne. I’ve included another link to the fourth movement of Dvorak in case anyone would like to listen, (it’s one of my favorite recordings and I definitely recommend it) but if classical music isn’t your jam I understand. Also, I would like to warn this is going to be major slow burn, but I promise there is a light at the end of the tunnel...eventually. Part 3 should be uploaded in a few days! I hope all of you enjoy it, and as always please feel free to leave a comment :) Oh! Also I think I’m going to make a taglist for this story, so if you would like to be added just comment or send me a message.

A week later marked the first symphony rehearsal of the season. You had barely seen Agatha all day. The woman was running from meeting to meeting with investors and the board so she had given you small tasks to complete in her absence. You were busy rearranging the small personal music library she kept in her office when there was a knock on the door.

“Come in,” You called out as you began sorting through the Baroque Era.

The door opened a moment later and you were glancing at a few different scores when you heard someone clear their throat. Looking up, you saw Wanda Maximoff standing in the doorway.

“Well hello there,” Wanda drawled out, clearly looking surprised. It took you a second to wonder why until you realized you were in Agatha’s office. “You’re not Agatha.”

You let out a nervous laugh. “No...um, no I’m not. I’m Agatha’s new assistant, Y/N.”

Wanda gave you a curious glance. “Her assistant,” she mused, taking a step further into the office. “Does she treat you well?”

You shrugged. “She feeds me a few times a day, buys me coffee. It could be a lot worse.”

Wanda chuckled. “Well it is very nice to meet you. I’m Wanda Maximoff.”

“I know who you are,” You blurted out before realizing how creepy that may have sounded. Glancing at Wanda, you were relieved that she seemed more amused than anything else. “I mean, it’s such a pleasure to meet you, Miss Maximoff. I’m a huge fan of yours.”

“Call me Wanda,” The pianist insisted. “You’re sweet. I’m surprised Agatha hasn’t had you running for the hills.”

You felt strangely defensive over the criticism regarding Agatha. “She really isn’t bad. I’m learning so much from her.”

Wanda looked surprised but smiled nonetheless. “You’re a very sweet girl, aren’t you? Do you know when Agatha will be back?”

“Um...” You trailed off and tried to remember when Agatha said she would be done. “It might be a while.”

“I don’t mind waiting,” Wanda said confidently, taking a seat in a leather chair. “I can keep you company.”

So you spent the next half hour sorting through music. At some point Wanda had offered to assist you, and although you assured her you were fine, she insisted. Which is how you found yourself discussing your favorite eras of music with one of your favorite musicians.

“Well isn’t this cozy,” Agatha’s voice rang out from the doorway causing you to jump.

The conductor had a scowl on her face and you could practically see the anger seething out of her. Wanda, on the other hand, smiled brightly at Agatha. “Agatha, so lovely to see you again. I was just getting to know your assistant. She’s a delight.”

Agatha glared at the woman, before giving you a quick once over. “Of course she is. What are you doing in my office, Maximoff? We aren’t rehearsing with you until next week.”

Wanda shrugged, not phased by the other woman’s attitude. “I thought I would stop by to catch up. It’s been a while since we’ve worked together.”

Your eyebrows furrowed at that. When did Agatha and Wanda work together? Agatha certainly had a lot of negative thoughts regarding the younger woman, so it would make sense that they had worked together at some point. You were just surprised Agatha never brought it up during one of her many long ‘Maximoff Rants.’

“I’m very busy,” Agatha replied, appearing to grow angrier with every word that came out of the red head’s mouth. “Right, dear?”

At first you wondered who she was talking to, until you noticed the pointed look she was giving you. You offered Wanda a polite smile before slowly heading over towards your boss. “Of course, Miss Harkness. You have to leave for your meeting with potential new investors and then we have to discuss new programs and publicity posters before rehearsal this evening.”

“I see,” Wanda was giving both of you a look that suggested she knew you were lying. “Well I should be on my way then. Lovely seeing you again Agatha, and it was a pleasure to meet you, Y/N,” she said sweetly as she gave your shoulder a gentle squeeze on her way out of the office.

Once she was gone, Agatha all but slammed the door shut and your eyes widened at how angry she appeared.

“What did she say to you?” Agatha asked curiously eyeing you.

You shrugged, because Wanda didn’t really say anything to you. At least not anything important. “Nothing really. She asked who I was, insisted she wanted to wait for you to come back, and then she offered to help me sort through the music.”

“I didn’t realize the work I gave you was so complex it required a second set of hands,” Agatha spat out as she slowly moved closer to you, and you wondered what you said to get that reaction.

“It wasn’t,” you argued, feeling your temper grow and getting more flustered as Agatha moved even closer to you. “She was just being nice.”

Agatha huffed and stalked back to her desk. “Fine. She was just being nice. Now no more talk of Maximoff. I’m starting to get a migraine.”

“I’ll go get you some tea,” You offered, as you had become more familiar with the conductor’s frequent stress migraines.

Agatha merely nodded and began sorting through her scores for rehearsal and you set off to brew some tea in the kitchen. You brushed off her strange behavior as the anger that came with seeing Wanda Maximoff.

The rest of the afternoon passed by smoothly. Agatha eventually told you to go home for a few hours despite your protests to stay. She was still a tad bit grumpy from her run in with Wanda, so she all but shoved you out the door and said if she saw you back here before 6:00 that she would make sure it would be your last time attending rehearsal.

Finding yourself back at the concert hall an hour before rehearsal started, you made your way to Agatha’s office and used the key she had given you to let yourself in. You had to grab the boxes filled with folders of music, as well as Agatha’s scores and her favorite baton. Your eyes scanned the dozens of identical batons that the older woman had before you found the one she requested you grab.

There weren’t many personal items in Agatha’s office. Granted she had only been here for around a month, but still. It was basically bare, save for a few photos of her pet bunny, Señor Scratchy. You had often wondered what the conductor did when she wasn’t here, but you had never felt comfortable enough to ask. Agatha was...private, and while you respected her privacy a part of you wondered what she was like when she wasn’t in scary conductor mode.

A quick glance at the clock alerted you to head to the hall before the players started to arrive. You quickly locked up the office before hurrying through the building, arms filled with boxes.

“I should’ve brought these in before I left,” You mumbled out loud as you balanced the boxes in one hand to unlock the stage door with your other hand.

“Well yes dear, but that would’ve required thought,” Agatha said with a smirk as she came up from behind you.

You cursed and jumped, glaring at the woman who scared you half to death. “Are you trying to give me a heart attack?”

Agatha held the door open for you and shrugged in response as you passed her. “It’s not my fault you’re so easy to scare.”

“You’re evil,” You told her, but your tone was teasing. “And you’re early.”

“It’s my first rehearsal, I want to be prepared,” Agatha explained but you knew her well enough to know what that meant.

“It’s okay to be nervous, you know,” You said reassuringly as she grabbed one of the boxes from you to set on the stage.

Agatha scowled and gave you a dirty look. “I am not nervous. I’m Agatha Harkness. I don’t get nervous.”

“Right and you’re also nothing like Wanda Maximoff, right?” You fired back, enjoying the glower she gave you.

Agatha huffed. “I liked it better when you were afraid of me.”

You laughed as you began placing the folders on their respective stands. “I was never afraid of you. I was afraid of disappointing you.” And you were still afraid of disappointing her, but you would never vocalize that.

Agatha gave you a look you couldn’t decipher before she helped you with the folders. “Where’s your violin?”

“In your office,” You reminded her. “Remember, I told you I was leaving it there until after rehearsal?”

“Well how are you going to play in,” She checked her watch, “Fourty-five minutes without an instrument?”

You stared at her in shock. “But...but I thought I didn’t get the first violin spot?”

“You didn’t,” Agatha admitted. “But I haven’t hired anyone else and I still need to update our sub list. So there will be an empty chair for rehearsal.”

“Which means?” You pressed, needing to hear the words from her.

Agatha rolled her eyes. “Needy as ever for the praise I see. Grab your instrument and get your ass on stage in ten minutes before I change my mind.”

You practically skipped off stage, not believing what you were hearing. You were going to perform with the Manhattan Symphony! Sure it was just a rehearsal, and the first rehearsal at that, but you didn’t care. You were on cloud nine and nothing could bring you down.

By the time you returned with your instrument, some of the players had started to arrive. You recognized a few of the violinists from different gigs you had played over the past couple of years. Scanning the stage, you spotted Agatha in one of the first rows in the audience, drinking a bottle of water. She noticed you staring and motioned for you to come join her.

You set your case down next to her bag. “Thank you for letting me play in rehearsal today.”

“Why are you thanking me?” Agatha questioned, looking at you with curiosity. “I need a violinist for today’s rehearsal. You’re my assistant who will do whatever you can to please me. It’s common sense.”

You rolled your eyes at her but smiled nonetheless. “You really can’t let me be nice, can you?”

Agatha laughed and patted you on the arm. “You’re finally catching on, dear. Now get on stage and warm up. I can’t have my assistant embarrassing me in front of the entire ensemble.”

You did as you were told and sat in the last chair of the first violin section. The other members of the ensemble gradually made their way to their respective seats to begin warming up, and Agatha stayed at her spot still drinking her water. Your stand partner eventually made their way over to you and smiled.

“Hi, I’m Monica,” the woman said politely as she sat in the chair next to yours.

“Nice to meet you. I’m Y/N,” you replied with a small smile. “Have you been with the symphony for a while?”

“This is my fifth season,” Monica replied with a shrug. “Should be a little more interesting with Harkness in charge at least.”

You vaguely remembered the rumors that the last music director had been voted off by the board due to his age, but you couldn’t remember his name.

“Yeah, she’s really great,” You said happily. Monica gave you a curious glance. “I’m actually her assistant.”

Monica raised her eyebrows at that revelation. “Oh, wow. What’s that like?”

You shrugged, and noted that was the second time someone had that reaction. “Pretty standard I guess.”

“I was wondering who she hired for the section after cancelling the blind auditions,” Monica admitted. “She gave those violinists quite a scare.”

“Well I’m not hired for this,” You quickly backtracked. “She just hadn’t filled the seat and she needed a sub for today so-“

Monica laughed. “Hey, it’s okay. I get it. It’s nice to have you here. I’m sure you’ll do great.”

A few minutes later, the chatter and warming up abruptly stopped when Agatha took the podium. The ensemble stared at their new conductor, curious as to how she would start their first rehearsal. Instead, Agatha raised her baton and the ensemble lifted their instruments in preparation.

“Movement four of Dvorak,” Agatha said and allowed everyone a moment to flip to the respective movement.

She raised her baton again and you felt a rush of adrenaline as you waited in anticipation for her to begin. Over the past few weeks you had studied Agatha’s conducting technique. Watching her move her hands in formation was so beautiful, she was easily the most skilled conductor you had ever observed. Her eyes raked over the ensemble and landed on yours, and with a smirk she gave the upbeat to begin.

Dvorak’s New World Symphony was one of the first full symphonies you remembered playing back in your high school youth symphony. It was breathtaking, full of colorful phrases and swirling melodies in every movement that left both the player and listener eager for more. The fourth movement seemed to tie it all together.

Despite it being the first rehearsal, the ensemble played relatively well. Agatha was mindlessly conducting, her gaze fixated on different ensemble members, and you knew she probably had so many quick witted insults stewing in her brain. You meanwhile couldn’t keep your eyes from watching her conduct. Sure, watching old videos of her conducting different orchestras was great, your personal favorite was of her performance conducting Tchaikovsky’s 4th Symphony with The Chicago Symphony. You also loved sitting in her office and watching her get lost in her scores, seemingly oblivious to your gaze locked on her baton and the way her fingers seemed to have a mind of their own.

But this...this was pure beauty. It was like she was painting a canvas using her baton as a paint brush. Even with her gaze focused elsewhere, she knew the score backwards and forwards and you saw her give every cue without even taking a second to glance down at the music. It was magical; she was magical.

The movement progressed and you had reached one of you favorite spots. There was a phrase transition that featured a slow and melodic theme that was passed throughout the orchestra. It started in the winds and you smiled at the serene sounds of the oboe that featured accompaniment from the strings before the melody was eventually passed to the violin section. While most violinists enjoyed playing fast and thrilling passages that left their fingers aching and bow arm sore, you had always secretly preferred the sweeter themes, the soaring melodies that kept growing and filled your heart with so much warmth.

Closing your eyes to play a passage you had long ago memorized, Dvorak had always been a favorite, you took a second to enjoy the unique feeling that every musician shared. Making music was an intimate experience. The ability to bring together dozens of people from different walks of life. To put aside any problems from everyday life and just take those brief moments to focus on nothing but their craft. Your happiest memories were of the time you spent in orchestra rehearsals. All of the hard, and sometimes grueling, work that went into perfecting each measure and making sure each section played as one giant instrument. All of it was worth it once you made it to the performance, and you swore there was nothing that could bring you more bliss than a live performance.

The movement progressed and Agatha was fully in her element. The woman was the most confident conductor you had ever encountered. Sure, she was a bit...cocky...but she had every right to be. This was the only first rehearsal you had ever attended where the conductor had effortlessly led the ensemble through tempo changes and cues without any faults.

With a whirlwind of fast passages and high notes that had you breathless, you reached the grand finale. You would occasionally glance up to check you were following Agatha’s tempo, and it took everything in you to not keep your gaze entirely fixated on her.

Agatha left her baton raised for a moment before finally lowering it, and you could tell by the passive look on her face that she was not pleased. “Well that was disappointing. Have any of you played in an ensemble before today?”

Directing her gaze to the principal flutist, she waved her hand. “And don’t even get me started on the mess over here. Are you trying to make my ears bleed? I’ve heard first graders who have a better tone than you.”

The principal flutist frowned. “With all due respect Maestra, it’s our first rehearsal and we’re a little rusty.”

“Did I ask for excuses?” Agatha questioned, and you knew the rest of rehearsal would only be downhill from there. If there was one thing Agatha Harkness hated it was excuses. “What’s your name?”

“Dottie Jones.”

“Well, Dottie,” Agatha sneered. “Since you apparently know more than I do, why don’t you come up here and conduct?”

Well shit. You didn’t see that coming. You glanced over to Monica and found she had the same shocked expression on her face as you did.

“Maestra I don’t-“ Dottie tried to argue, and you couldn’t help but feel a small amount of pity for the woman because you knew Agatha always got what she wanted.

“Now!” Agatha yelled and threw her baton on the stand. “Let’s see what you can do.”

“Is she always like this?” Monica whispered to you and you shrugged.

That was a good question. In the few weeks you worked for Agatha, you had grown used to her intense presence and ever changing mood swings. You would never admit it to her face, but you actually found it kind of charming in a weird and twisted sort of way, because you knew Agatha only acted this way to assert her dominance. The music world had predominantly been led by men. The vast majority of the most famous and beloved composers were men. For the majority of your playing career the conductors you encountered were men. Hell, even the majority of symphony orchestras had male concert masters.

“She likes to keep things interesting,” You whispered back while keeping your gaze locked on the scene occurring on the podium.

Dottie had reluctantly made her way through the ensemble to stand on the podium where Agatha stood to the side with her arms folded across her chest.

“Any day now, Dottie,” Agatha mocked and you grimaced. Not even a half hour in and she had already lost her temper.

To Dottie’s credit she appeared relatively calm as she picked up the baton Agatha threw on the stand. The orchestra readied themselves to begin, but you kept your gaze locked on Agatha. What was she playing at?

Dottie gave the upbeat and the opening notes of Dvorak rang out. The flutist was a decent conductor, but you knew it was a losing battle. Her technique was nowhere as refined as Agatha’s and you could tell she was trying her best to keep the ensemble from falling apart. You made it through ten bars before Agatha made her way to the podium and raised one hand, and everyone immediately stopped.

“Well Dottie what do you think?”

“I think I should go back to my seat and leave the conducting to you,” Dottie offered weakly.

Agatha arched an eyebrow. “Ah. I see.” She waited for Dottie to sit back down before continuing. “Some of you may find my methods crazy. Some of you may say that I’m too mean, that I’m pushing you too hard. However, there is a reason for all of this.”

She pointed her baton at the principal oboe. “You? What’s your name?”

“Oh, um...” The man stammered and Agatha rolled her eyes.

“Name!”

“Jimmy Woo.”

“Jimmy Woo,” Agatha repeated with a frown on her face. “How long have you been with the symphony?”

“This is my third season, Maestra,” Jimmy said with a smile.

Agatha nodded. “I need to hear more of you. We need to work on your projection to come over the strings without making it too nasally. Not bad for the first rehearsal, Woo.”

“Thank you, Maestra.”

“Now Woo, how would you say the past three seasons have gone?” Agatha prompted.

“Maestra?” Jimmy asked, appearing confused by the question.

Agatha let out a huff. “How have you felt the orchestra has performed for the past three seasons, Woo?”

“You want my honest opinion, Maestra?”

You watched Agatha tense up and you internally sighed. Another thing Agatha hated was pointless questions.

“No, Woo, I want you to change into a tutu and do pliés,” Agatha dryly commented.

Jimmy let out a bit of nervous laughter which quickly ended when Agatha glared at him. “Right. Well, I guess I feel like we’re losing our touch.”

“That’s putting it lightly. Thank you, Woo,” Agatha said before turning her attention to the rest of the ensemble. “The Manhattan Symphony was once the world’s finest orchestra. But all of you have gotten too comfortable. You’ve stopped making music and now are simply playing notes on a page. You’ve gotten lazy.”

There we go. The third thing Agatha hated. Laziness. You swore the woman was constantly on the move. There was one Friday afternoon where you had suggested taking a half day to enjoy the sunshine, which led Agatha to go on a twenty minute long rant (you timed it) that you could enjoy the sunshine when you were dead in a grave. Needless to say, you never asked to leave work early again.

You watched the conductor place her baton on the stand and wave her arms around. “I want this orchestra to regain its rightful place on top of the musical community. But this is going to require work from every single individual in this room. So, this is your first and only warning. If you are not going to put your entire soul into this orchestra, consider this your last rehearsal. Everyone is replaceable and I promise you will not be missed.”

You raised your bow to signal you had a question. Agatha’s head whipped around to look at you, and you could practically see the gears turning in her head. “Something you wish to add?”

“And if we stay?” You asked, thinking back to the very same question you asked her the day of the audition.

That earned you a smile so small it was almost impossible to see, and it went away as quickly as it appeared. “If you choose to stay, I am going to work you hard. I don’t want to hear any whining or complaints, only promises to do better. Are we clear?”

Silence from the room was taken as a yes. Agatha raised her baton. “Good. Flip to measure 21. Woo I want to work on your entrance. First violins, I know you love being the center of attention but you need to follow the dynamics on the page, circle them if you must. Flutes please try to not to fuck up your eighth notes otherwise I will make sure the only orchestra you play for is in the middle of Antartica.”

The rest of rehearsal went better than it started. Agatha was her usual slightly snarky self, and the rest of the ensemble was learning not to question her. You went to pack up your instrument when Monica motioned for you to come join her.

“I’m not sure if you have any plans but a few of us are going to get drinks if you want to join,” Monica offered and you were touched by her kindness.

“That’s so sweet but I’m actually pretty tired,” You said apologetically. Which was partially true, but you also wanted to make sure Agatha went home and didn’t stay cooped up in her office all night.

“Well if you change your mind, shoot me a text,” Monica insisted as she handed you her phone to put in your contact information. She took the phone back and sent you a message. “There’s my number.”

You thanked her again before heading over to where Agatha was silently stewing. A quick glance at her confirmed that she was still in a bad mood and you chose to silently pack up your instrument while shooting her quick and cautious glances.

“I can feel you staring,” Agatha finally looked up at you. “I want to redo the string parts for Maximoff’s piece. We need to fix a few of the bowings. I want everything to be set for our first rehearsal with her.” She noticed your hesitation. “Unless you have other plans.”

“Oh no, my dream Friday night is being holed up in your office marking Rachmaninoff,” You joked and grinned when she rolled her eyes.

“Funny, dear. Very funny,” Agatha deadpanned, motioning for you to follow her. “But I don’t pay you to make jokes.”

An hour later you were done with the bowings while Agatha had spent the time reading a book. She had a pair of glasses on and her feet were up on her desk, it was the most relaxed you had ever seen her.

“You’re finished?” Agatha asked, not looking up from her book. “Good,” she said and slammed the book closed. “Now, we didn’t get a chance to do this earlier due to my Maximoff induced migraine, so grab that violin and come with me. I want to see how relaxed your bow hold is after rehearsing.”

“Actually, I was going to suggest that we call it a night?” You asked tentatively, gauging her reaction. “You’ve had a long day and-“

“And what? I’m so old I need to be in bed before ten?” Agatha inquired, slowly taking off her glasses.

“You’re not old,” You blurted out and Agatha smirked at you. Blushing, you looked at the floor. “But maybe it would do you good to get some rest?”

“Trying to give me orders again, darling?” Agatha teased and even though you weren’t looking at her, you knew she was still smirking. “I’m not so sure I like that.”

“You really shouldn’t say things like that,” You mumbled whilst Agatha laughed.

“Whatever you say, dear,” Agatha said. “If it will get you to shut up, I’ll call it a night and go home. But I expect you back here tomorrow morning so we can make up our session. We’re finally starting to crack the surface of your true potential and I won’t have you wasting it because you need to sleep.”

You had waited for Agatha to pack up her bag and followed her out of the building. This was the first time you had left at the same time as the older woman. She usually sent you on your way long before she was ready to head out for the evening. She had her town car waiting for her out front, and she frowned as she watched you prepare to walk home.

“You’re not planning on walking alone at this hour are you?” Agatha questioned and looked at you like you were an idiot.

You shrugged. “I only live a few blocks away.” Which was a bit of a lie, but she didn’t have to know that. “And if anyone gives me a hard time I can just whack them with this.” You motioned to your hard case violin.

“You’re an idiot if you think I’ll allow you to wander the streets like a lost little puppy,” Agatha reprimanded you. “Get in the car.”

“I’m not getting in your car,” You argued. “I’ll be fine.”

“Darling I’m not going to tell you again. Get in the car,” Agatha repeated and then smirked. “Unless you’d rather I drag you kicking and screaming.”

You glared at her. Damn her for making everything sound so...suggestive. “Fine.”

“Good girl,” Agatha said as you followed her in the car, and she patted the seat next to hers. “Now where do you live?”

You gave her driver the instructions to your apartment and then made yourself comfortable in the car. There was a few minutes of awkward silence which you spent staring out the window, and Agatha spent staring at you.

“Ya know, you usually call me out for staring at you,” You finally spoke up, the silence starting to eat away at you.

“I am not staring at you,” Agatha lightly argued before changing the subject. “I never asked how you thought I did tonight.”

“What?”

Agatha frowned at you. “How do you think I led the rehearsal?”

That was new. Over the past few weeks Agatha had never asked you for your opinion on anything regarding her conducting, because why would she? Agatha was the most confident person you had ever met, and a part of you was envious at how she presented herself to the world.

You took a moment to glance over at her and found yourself staring into bright blue eyes. “I...I thought you were brilliant. But, you were a little too nice. I don’t think I saw anyone cry.”

Agatha’s expression lightened and you felt your heartbeat grow rapid at the sight of her smile. “Still making jokes, darling? Perhaps I’m going too easy on you.”

The rest of the car ride fell back into a more comfortable silence, and before long Agatha’s driver pulled up to your modest but nice apartment building.

You grabbed your violin case and offered Agatha a small smile. “Thank you for giving me a ride home.”

“Thank Hank, he did the driving.”

“Right,” You frowned. “Well, goodnight.”

Agatha briefly touched your arm as you went to exit the car, and you felt goosebumps at the sensation. “Goodnight, dear. I’ll see you in the morning.”

#agatha harkness x reader #agatha harkness #agatha wandavision #wandavision au #wandavision #marvel au #agnes x reader #agatha harkness x you

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randombubblegum · 3 years ago

Note

When do you think awsten really started to change? Like right after Fandom? I haven’t been a fan long enough to see the change, I just know he’s more annoying than ever and he makes fans mad. I’m surprised I’m still here 💀

I also don’t understand why he said in an interview that he’s doing so much better than he was prior to GH, yet I feel like GH has way more references to self-hatred and death than any of their other albums. I get his whole “fake it ‘til you make it” mentality regarding his confidence, but I can’t tell what’s real and what’s fake, and I’m sure other fans feel the same way. I know this is probably old news especially since GH has been out for almost a year now, but I’ve only recently started watching their interviews, recent and old, and I really do see a big difference

its hard to say exactly but id put him Changing For The Worse actually BEFORE fandom, like in early 2019? thats when he fell in with super annoying nasty twitter funnymen™ in la and it made him a JACKASS. like SUCH an asshole holy shit it was awful. hes cut all of them off now (with dog girl being the last to go actually lol) but the very observable change in how he acted online from “funny chaos-loving endearing jokester” to “self-absorbed asshole with mean jokes and cruel clapbacks” happened shortly after he befriended elijah daniel and company.

and then THAT comically self-aggrandizing attitude carried him through fandom and only snowballed from there….. before fandom he used to joke with otto and geoff like “WATERPARKS IS THE RICHEST BAND IN THE WORLD WERE SOOO RICH” and it was funny bc they were clearly an up and coming band so it wasnt like that!! but it was so endearing and funny you couldnt help but root for them!!!! but then when fandom era hit awsten was like…. not kidding anymore about wanting to be rich and famous and the vibe shifted noticeably. the whole “i want a big house i want nice things” motif mixed with the “its the FANS fault i dont have those, they wont let me be successful like i could if i were a rapper” kind of……. like entitlement isnt exactly the right word, but something close to it, started coming through.

fandom was honestly NOT an insightful or good commentary on fandom itself but it rly set the stage for awsten to be a huge self-centered braggart lol….. all this whining about how his fans like him too much or not enough, dont respect the boundaries online he actively rewards them for breaking, how hes not rich enough, etc etc all started there imo. and fandom did better than any album before it, partly because hopeless records put a lot of work into its promotion and partly because they were doing so well touring after entertainment….

and then it all fell apart honestly. awsten channeled the same shit but worse for gh and kept getting nastier and nastier with his attitude. like interviews are really the best way to judge this for yourself and i think youll see EXACTLY what im talking about when you do: they went from being cute funny character showcases of all the members, awsten cheerful and friendly and cracking jokes, to like….. awstens the only one talking. awsten going on about how great he is. awsten saying his music is the best in the world with no hint of joking exaggeration. geoff and otto go from being silent in the background to just not being there at all. it fucking sucks and i think its VERY clear why so many fans feel upset and let down when u watch the interviews all together

as for the last part of your ask yeah i think awsten is way worse off mentally and emotionally in the gh era than he was even during fandom. hes always had this self-aggrandizing overly confident abrasive persona he puts on to, yknow, be able to perform while also shielding himself from vulnerability, and thats normal. everyone used to like it even, since it was so clear he was puffing his chest up and faking it till he made it. now its become impossible to determine where the asshole braggart narcissistic persona STOPS and awsten the real person STARTS…… and the absolute worst part of all of this is that, based on how he treats his friends and partners when the cameras are off, it might not end at all. they legit might be one and the same at this point

#LONG answer wow but i hope this clears things up for u abt how and why we feel what ur noticing LOL #ur spot on tho abt the interviews and faking doing well tho for sure #ill never understand why a small subset of okd parx fans gets SOOOO pissed at me/us whenever we mention real valid criticism of awsten lol #even here on tumblr i see ppl getting so so mad that we have valid complaints lol. ok #mail time!#neg

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nctsjiho · 4 years ago

Text

2 AM Healing [Part 2 of ‘2 PM Suffering’]

Click here for Part 1

warnings: explicit language, consumption of alcohol and medication, suggested attempted suicide (overdosing on pills and alcohol), anxiety

era: April 2021

❀ Things seem to take a big turn after Taeyong and Doyoung go check up on JiHo

“Wah~~ I can’t wait to get in my bed.” Haechan sighed dramatically as the 4 boys from the 5th floor were waiting on Taeyong to open the door.

The shoot had dragged on for a while, along with some other schedules and now it was a little after 2 at night. Johnny and Haechan had been whining about how tired they were and couldn’t wait to sleep. “At least take a shower first Haechan, you stink.” The older of the two snickered, earning a shocked expression from the smaller boy. “Hey! I don’t-”

“It’s past midnight and we have neighbours. Be quiet already.” Doyoung sounded annoyed which had the two boys shut up quickly. “And you, why are you taking so long.” Doyoung rolled his eyes at the leader who had yet to open the door. Taeyong rolled his eyes as well at the attitude of Doyoung and before he could say anything else, Taeyong pushed the door open.

Meanwhile, inside the dorm, JiHo had curled up into Xiaojun’s side. She had been sleeping for close to 12 hours straight now, the severity of her exhaustion very clear to Xiaojun. The only time JiHo had woken up, was when Xiaojun had gotten up to clean up the food he dropped when first entering her room. He quickly cleaned and went to the bathroom before joining a whiny JiHo back in her bed. He had sung a few more songs for her and decided to go to sleep as well after she had comfortably slotted her body into his side.

Completely forgetting that he had to send updates to Doyoung, Taeyong, or at least Kun about JiHo - partly because his phone was out of battery and otherwise because he physically couldn’t move because of JiHo’s deadly grip on him - he drifted off into his own dream world and hadn’t woken up since.

As the residents of the dorm arrived the first place Doyoung went to was JiHo’s room. His hand had barely made contact with the door handle when Taeyong stopped him from entering. “Is this a good idea? JiHo’s probably sleeping at this time.” Doyoung scoffed at the comment. “We haven’t heard from her since we left, for all we know she’s dead in there and you’re not even going to check.” “Kun said Xiaojun-” “Well Xiaojun hasn’t picked up his fucking phone once!”

The leader hadn’t seen Doyoung this mad before. He knew he was only worried about JiHo, so he could excuse his anger completely. Yet despite that, Taeyong was still taken aback by the amount of poison was spilling from the black-haired man’s lips. “Okay, let’s check.”

Doyoung softly pushed the door open, such a contrast to his earlier tense body language. Upon opening the door the light which came from the hallway illuminated the room, revealing how messy it was.

JiHo wasn’t the tidiest member when it came to her own room, but the visual Doyoung and Taeyong were met with was quite shocking. Pillows and blankets seemed to be thrown off the bed and even to the other side of the room. But among all the mess a certain few items had caught Doyoung’s eye.

Rather confused as to why Doyoung wasn’t commenting on Xiaojun and JiHo comfortably - a bit too comfortable to Taeyong’s liking - sleeping on her bed, Taeyong eyed his dorm mate closely. He watched as Doyoung reached out to a small white container, one he wasn’t familiar with.

Suddenly Doyoung let out a chuckle. Not a friendly-sounding one though. Not friendly at all. “What’s this?!” He suddenly yelled which startled not only Taeyong but also the two sleeping friends. Xiaojun jumped up from beside JiHo as he saw the two older members watching them.

“Doyoung hyung-” “Pills and alcohol?” He sighed in disbelief. JiHo was still laying down in bed, her eyes squinted as she tried not to strain them. “Lim JiHo? Please tell me you didn’t drink.” When JiHo only fell back down in her spot from her previous hoisted up position Doyoung already knew the answer.

He turned to Xiaojun, who was wide-eyed, seemingly terrified about the way he was woken up. “You know how dangerous this is?” Doyoung shook the pill bottle in front of the younger boy’s eyes. “Why didn’t you answer your damn phone?! If you found JiHo drinking and taking pills you should’ve taken her to the hospital!” “I told him I was fine.” The girl mumbled from where she had buried her face into her pillow. “Of course you would tell him that!”

“Or did you give these to her? JiHo normally doesn’t drink or take medication. So did you?” Xiaojun frantically shook his head. He’d never do such a thing and the fact his hyung thought he would, made him feel cornered, not being able to defend himself.

Doyoung’s chest heaved and so many thoughts crossed his mind. “Let’s calm down for a bit okay?” Taeyong carefully took a step closer to the two boys and placed a hand on Doyoung’s shoulder. “Calm down? This kid didn’t do anything after knowing JiHo mixed alcohol and pills and afterwards climbed into bed with her!” “That’s enough!” Johnny yelled from the doorway. “I’m just stating the facts!” “GET OUT!” A higher-pitched yell resonated through the room, followed by a few painful coughs.

All eyes were on JiHo’s heaving figure, as the boys were afraid to say or do anything. Everyone but one. “JiHo-” “Doyoung can you shut up for one goddamn second?!” JiHo yelled, sounding so desperate. “I’m just trying to help.” “You’re not only worsening my headache, but you are also chewing out my friend who has been taking care of me while I was alone. Xiaojun did nothing wrong, so let him be.”

A few seconds of silence followed before Doyoung approached his younger friend. “I’m sorry I wasn’t here, but he shouldn’t have let you sit here after taking those pills and drinking. You know how bad this could’ve ended-” “For God’s sake, oppa you don’t get it. You weren’t here, so you don’t know what happened.” She groaned in defeat. Doyoung’s stubbornness wasn’t helping her growing headache, the one she had been able to forget due to her hours of sleep.

“I don’t have to be here to know that mixing these is bad!” “Can you stop?” “Do you want to die?” “YES!” JiHo stood up from her position, staring directly into Doyoung’s eyes with watery eyes. Everyone in the room collectively gasped at the youngest’s answer. Haechan who had joined after hearing the commotion felt his eyes fill with tears as well.

JiHo gulped as she felt the crop in her throat forming and blocking her airways. The two best friends just stared into each other’s eyes not knowing what to say. Doyoung was still processing what had just been said and JiHo was going over all the ways to explain herself, but she couldn’t find the right words.

“Is that why you took these?” Taeyong reached out to grab the bottle from Doyoung’s grip. His question caused the girl to break eye contact with Doyoung and she immediately shook her head. “No. I never thought- That wasn’t my intention. I didn’t even know this was alcohol. I didn’t mean it.” Her voice trailed off.

“How could you say something like that?” Doyoung’s voice was dangerously low and it scared JiHo. “I didn’t mean to. I promise I didn’t.” Doyoung just shook his head in disbelief before facing Xiaojun. In just a split second he had grabbed onto the collar of Xiaojun’s shirt and pushed him against the wall.

“Why didn’t you do anything?!” Doyoung’s voice quivered, tears already threatening to fall. “Why didn’t you take her to a hospital?” Doyoung lifted his right hand, balled into a fist. At the sight, the two older members rushed towards him. Johnny and Taeyong pulled back the yelling man, preventing him from potentially hurting Xiaojun. “WHY DIDN’T YOU CALL ANYONE?!” Doyoung had completely lost it. Tears streamed down his face as he felt the great amount of guilt take over him. If only he had been there with JiHo instead of Xiaojun, that’s what he thought.

All the members stood there wordlessly as Doyoung continued to sob. Haechan crying silently in the doorway and the other members being completely lost.

Not being able to take it anymore, knowing that her members were making assumptions in their heads about why she took those pills, JiHo decided to explain the whole situation. From why she took the pills and drank the alcoholic beverage, to how Xiaojun had ended up sleeping next to her and why he hadn’t messaged anyone.

“The alcohol helped my anxiety and the pills helped my headache for a split second before it came back worse. I didn’t take many, I’m fine.” “How can tell us you’re fine when you’re suffering like this. Alone.” Doyoung stood up from where he fell to his knees earlier. The sobbing had stopped, but he was still very emotional. “Because I didn’t want to worry you guys, I’m already being a big inconvenience.” The girl explained sadly.

“You’re not an inconvenience to us JiHo.” Johnny said. JiHo just sighed, thinking of how the boys weren’t allowed to talk to her publicly, how they had to be careful around her afraid to ask something she couldn’t talk about, how they always worried about her even if she told them they shouldn’t. No matter what the boys said, JiHo felt like such a burden these past weeks.

JiHo fell back down into her bed and pulled her knees to her chest. “I didn’t mean it when I said I wanted to die. That wasn’t why I took the pills. I haven’t slept in days because of these headaches and I was desperate to get some sleep. I didn’t even know that juice was alcoholic, but it helped me calm down. It was the first time in days I started to feel a bit more relaxed. It’s not that I want to die. It’s just that, some days, I rather feel nothing than feel the shitty way I’m feeling almost daily.”

Haechan who had been standing in the same spot this entire time walked up to JiHo and sat down next to her, pulling her into his side. “You should’ve just told us.” He watched as his tears fell onto JiHo’s shoulder and got absorbed by her grey tee.

“We can’t help you if you don’t talk to us.” Taeyong had grabbed her hand and let his thumb draw random patterns on the back of her hand. JiHo nodded, wordlessly telling him she understood.

Doyoung cleared his throat causing everyone to look at him. “I’m sorry Xiaojun. I shouldn’t have yelled at you like that. You were only taking care of JiHo.” “Hyung, it’s okay.” Xiaojun directly said, but Doyoung shook his head. “No, it’s not okay. I acted and said things before I thought and I didn’t even hear you guys out. I’m also sorry towards you JiHo.” JiHo just nodded in acceptance of the apology.

He then settled down on the bed next to JiHo. “Please stop keeping things like this to yourself. I know you might not like talking to us about it and I know with the way I acted right now, that you might never want to talk to me about these kinds of things first. But if you’re ever suffering like this, you can talk to any one of the boys okay? So if you don’t want to talk to me.” Doyoung turned to face Xiaojun. “ I completely trust Xiaojun to listen to you and be able to take care of you.” Xiaojun nodded firmly which caused JiHo to smile.

As JiHo felt the love of her members intensify, she let herself melt into Haechan’s embrace, feeling her headache subside until it was almost gone. Johnny pulled Xiaojun in a side hug to comfort him after all the commotion that went on. Suddenly JiHo noticed something in the doorway. A head of hair seemingly floating from one side of the door. “Mark?”

At the mention of his name Mark popped his head from behind the wall, the boy wide-eyed. “What are you?” “Haechan messaged us saying Doyoung and Xiaojun were fighting.” Yuta explained as he unexpectedly walked into the room. Doyoung and Taeyong both glared at Haechan, disappointed that he felt the need to make the other members worry. “I’m sorry, I panicked.” The boy pouted which caused the older two to soften.

After Yuta had walked in, Mark, Jungwoo, Taeil and Jaehyun followed. “How long have you guys been out there?” JiHo asked worried, hoping they hadn’t picked up on everything that happened. “A few minutes.” Jungwoo smiled sadly and the girl sighed. “Listen, Doyoung is right. You have 23 guys ready to hear you out. Don’t be afraid to talk to us.” Taeil sat down on the bed. JiHo nodded and looked around the room meeting all the boys’ eyes and seeing the amount of love and care in them. “Thank you guys.”

“Group hug!” Haechan yelled to which both Yuta and Jungwoo repeated the words and suddenly JiHo was suffocating because of the 10 guys who had thrown themselves on top of her. Luckily her bed was just a thick mattress on the floor or otherwise it had broken for sure.

And even though she could barely breathe beneath the pressure of 10 bodies on top of her, she basked in the love she was receiving and felt all her stress and anxiety leave her body for once. For once she knew for certain that she was going to have fewer sleepless nights ahead of her.

---

Side note: I hyped myself up this morning to write a good part 2 only for it to end up like this? jk, I love the story and the little fluff at the end, I just imagined it to pan out way differently (more angsty). It’s definitely not the most exciting thing to read but if you’ve made it this far, first of all thank you <3 and secondly I think this just gives closure to part 1.

Thx to anon for suggesting this though and if there is anything that has been mentioned before that you want to get some extra information on or just things/scenarios you want to read, let me know! My inbox is open so feel free to send me anything <3

#jiho.writings #nct 24th member #nct addition #nct angst #wayv angst #nct scenarios #nct imagines #wayv imagines #nct doyoung imagines #nct doyoung angst #doyoung angst #xiaojun imagines #xiaojun angst #nct fluff #nct female member #nct extra member #nct additional member #kpop!addition #kpop!oc

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out-of-this-dimension · 3 years ago

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Hypothetically Rewriting Assault’s Story + Some General Assault Opinions

There’s a game my husband and I like to play when we watch a movie, play a game, or read a book that has a story that we don’t really enjoy or we enjoy certain parts of but not others. We look at things we’d keep and things we’d change and we build a story from there-- sort of like an AU but we don’t really go into the writing part, we just stick to theorizing and mapping a general story.

I decided to play that game with Star Fox. Not because I think Star Fox has a bad story but because sometimes I think the stories could have been handled better. Note: for the rewrite game, I only really look at story, even for video games, I don’t really look at gameplay mechanics, but I do understand those have a lot to do with story potential so I do take it in as a factor... I just don’t bother to “rewrite” the mechanics, if that makes any sense at all. Some of my list today will include boss encounters but I wouldn’t necessarily say those are mechanic-related... more like “event-related”.

I’ve mused a bit in the past about rewriting Adventures and Command and I do have plans to do a mock up of an Adventures remake eventually. However, today I was thinking about how I would go about handling an Assault re-write in particular. Much like Command and Adventures, I don’t have any beef with the core story but I do think there’s a few things that could’ve been better about Assault’s storyline-- like they had good ideas rolling but they didn’t quite refine them.

Under the cut because SUPER long.

My basic feelings on Assault are pretty positive. I think the game is generally just fun and I like that it feels like the natural progression from SF64. I liked getting to see planets we haven’t seen since the N64 era in better graphics and I liked seeing Star Wolf return. I also just thought the aparoids were neat enemies.

Generally speaking, though, when it comes to Assault, I think it suffers from the thing it tries to push the most-- the story. I think a lot of people get caught up in thinking the story is better than it is because it’s the first game since SF64 that really follows the same Star Fox vibe without retelling the Lylat Wars. Don’t get me wrong, the overall plot is great but the execution and pacing are... wonky. Certain characterizations also take a hit in some regards but no one really talks about that when Command exists. That’s something we’ll talk about later on with this post.

That being said, Assault really does have a lot good going for it. An absolute banger of a soundtrack, some great dialogue, a neat story synopsis, the introduction of cool characters like Panther and Beltino (who existed but was always off-screen), and just good levels.

So, here’s what I would add, I suppose, if I were to somehow have the ability to rewrite Assault. Originally I had this in paragraph form, but I’ve made it into more of a list under topic segments with main points bolded for your viewing pleasure. Some of these points might be considered nitpicky and while I do understand that yes, this is a game about space animals, I do hold the developers in high enough regard to make a game with a continuity that makes sense.

The Story Changes

- Reduce Pigma’s storyline in Assault. This is the biggest one for me because a bulk of the plotline feels like a giant chase to just get at Pigma and it feels like it derails from the actual plot with the aparoids. We only go to Sargasso because of Pigma. We only go to Fichina and then back to Meteo again, because of Pigma. That’s 3 levels in a 10 level game devoted to just tracking down Pigma and chasing him. While it makes the build up to fighting Pigma kind of nice, I personally feel like the plot could be reduced to 2 levels. If Assault overall was a longer game, I could see them making it 3 levels. Overall, though, in its current state, I feel like the side plot overstays its welcome and the aparoids promptly get shoved to the side in favor of “Oh no, we gotta get to Pigma!” And I get the main motive here is to show how the aparoids affect people and because of the build up, it does a good job at showing how utterly terrifying the aparoids are. But it’s still too long given the length of Assault’s story. The only alternative to this is make Assault longer, which... honestly, it should be.

- Revise the scene with Tricky. I’m obviously not well-versed in dinosaur biology but I’m pretty sure dinos didn’t grow that fast from what studying I HAVE done. And why is he suddenly king now? Did his parents die? He seems not affected by this at all? Like it’s a funny scene with him, Fox, and Krystal, but it’s odd if you really look at it. Give us, as players, more context because I’m still not even sure what happened to make Tricky suddenly the leader and... big. As a note, you’re gonna hear me gripe a lot about the Sauria level in this post.

- The Star Wolf + Peppy sacrifice is a low effort way to raise tension/stakes and then cop out. Oldest trick in the book, imo, is to act like you’re going to kill off important characters only for them to be alive miraculously. And let’s face it, as an audience we all know they aren’t going to kill those characters because it’s Nintendo and those characters are too beloved. I would’ve forgiven them for only doing this with Peppy or Star Wolf, but when you tack them both together and throw in the fact they make it seem like you’re going to have to kill General Pepper too... yeah, it’s just a bit much of the same trope over and over again. I wanted to put a note in here about how I’m fine with the Great Fox being “sacrificed” but overall, it needed to return to the series because of it’s icon status, but I think that’s more of a gripe at Command instead of Assault.

- Keep Pigma alive. This will conflict with a point I have later on about the game consistently having characters cheat death for easy drama points but with Pigma, I would’ve kept him fully alive... but maybe with some physical damage from the aparoids. I understand he’s semi-alive in Command and tbh I don’t know where I stand on that. Why keep Pigma alive, you might ask? I feel like his character has a lot more potential than being “just the greedy guy”. Like he’s got good potential future villain material for future games and... if I’m honest? I just don’t see Nintendo wanting to keep Pigma dead so why even bother killing him off? They couldn’t even commit to him being dead in Command anyways so it seems very moot.

- Bring Bill and Katt back. Assault is acts a bit like a big reunion of all of our SF64 favorites but our two favorite side characters are suspiciously missing. Wouldn’t Bill be out on the front lines fighting against Andrew in the beginning? Or maybe back in Katina? And wouldn’t Katt inevitably show up in the midst of the invasion, maybe to pointedly check in on Falco?

- Bring Andrew back for the final fight. I think Andrew being defeated early into the game is fine overall but I think bringing him back in for a reunion final fight against the aparoids would serve to really solidify that it’s really everyone vs the invading aparoid force. It would show that not only is Star Wolf willing to put aside their differences but so is basically everyone in the Lylat System in the name of survival. Imagine the Venomians and Cornerians working together against an aparoid fleet, giving Star Fox and Star Wolf time to attack the queen? I just think it’d be neat and it’d open up the potential for some fun banter mid-mission. I do understand that quite a few people consider Andrew canonically dead after Assault but personally, I feel that his defeat left his fate questionable (I’m a staunch believer that unless there’s a body, they’re probably alive, especially for Nintendo games because, again, they never like to kill people off) so him returning in Command never really bothered me.

- In general, reconsider some of the character portrayals. Unfortunately, when a series has a different studio for each game, character portrayals will inevitably have inconsistencies. While I give Namco a lot of credit for putting in oodles and oodles of detail into the game (particularly the levels), I think they failed in their portrayal of Fox, at the least, and Wolf is a considerable offender as well. While it’s obvious that Fox in Adventures was effectively modeled off of Sabre even in terms of personality, Rareware was at least able to justify Fox’s newfound jaded attitude with the passing of many years and a distinct lack of steady income, resulting in the team being in disarray. Assault’s Fox is a stark contrast to his cynical interpretation with seemingly no explanation other than maybe “Oh, I have more money and a gf, maybe I should behave myself”. As if the sudden change in personality wasn’t random, Fox also just seems very blah, like a blank slate stereotypical shooter game protagonist dude with little to no emotion. Wolf is less obvious but gets slated into a mentor-like role midway through the game and ends up in a respectful rivalry with Fox... which there’s nothing inherently wrong with that except for it happening abruptly (and, I mean, Peppy is right there). But I take less issue with this and more of an issue with the fact that there’s an entire level establishing that Wolf now runs a crime den with effectively what seems to be an army and no one bats an eye at this. He doesn’t even call on them to help with the aparoids. Did they all die when the aparoids attacked Meteo? Are they safe somewhere else? Where do they go? How was Sargasso able to operate without the CDF being on their doorstep with warrants for arrests?

- Don’t kill all the dinosaurs. A bit of a dramatic statement but the ending screen that showed all the damage to Sauria really bothered me. While I understand that the dinosaurs had less of a chance against the aparoids than a more technology-focused society like Corneria, I was a bit disappointed that the decision was made to just state that a lot of tribes had been wiped out. I know this could easily be retconned in a future game and I feel like it should be. “But why, Amalia? Why are you disappointed by that?” 1) It’s a little too grimdark for my tastes. 2) The fact it all happened off-screen felt very hand-wavy. And 3) It brings into question the entire point of Adventures. Why did we bother to save this planet if it was going to be reduced to rubble and ash 1 year later? Where were the Krazoa in all of this? Why did they not make an appearance at all to try to stop the invasion with their alleged powers? It just raises too many weird questions and I feel like Namco didn’t think it through too much. Which I mean, sure. Family, kiddo game. I’m not asking for bigbrain plot and lore but I’m squinting at this bit because it does feel very contrary to the lore from the previous game.

- Make the aparoids more relevant. As nice as it is to have a random bad guy from another galaxy, I feel like there was more that could be done with the aparoids in terms of their origins. Tiny things, mind you, not huge revelations. Off the top of my head, they could have been tied into Krystal’s backstory to help alleviate some of the complaints that she was too random to be added to the series’ main cast. Alternatively, they could have been a product of Andross or even a weapon prototype from Corneria that fled the lab (I actually thought the game was leaning in that direction for a bit then just Nothing Happened). I get that the vagueness of their origins leaves room for people to speculate and speculation is nice but... when you leave too many things unknown, it starts to feel less like giving fans room to interpret and more like just doing random things for the sake of it. I think a lore tidbit here or there would work wonders for the aparoids instead of leaving them as just borg/zerg clones.

Level-Based Changes

- Add either Aparoid RedEye or Aparoid General Scales as a boss to Sauria. Given that this level mysteriously lacks a boss, which is just weird compared to the other levels, I think that they had the opportunity to add something cool to go along with the cinematic feel they were going for with Assault. Assault’s cutscenes do play in a movie-like fashion and it’s clear they’re trying to make the game as epic as possible. It’s a shame they had so much fodder for a great boss here but they failed to go through with it. Alternatively: Add a Krazoa-Aparoid fusion. Why? Because Star Fox is about cool epic sci-fi and that would be cool epic sci-fi incarnate.

- Add a boss to the Aparoid Homeworld Level, aka the penultimate level. Another one I felt was personally weird that there was no “final defense system” to challenge the team. Would be cool to do an aerial battle over the aparoid planet with some giant flying aparoid.

- Be kinder to Sauria. The level had some good homages but overall was incredibly small and incredibly short. It felt like a bone tossed to Adventures fans but was not entirely true to the setting built by Rareware. I’m... not even sure where the Sauria level is supposed to take place? I presume it’s Walled City but it doesn’t really have the same color scheme or aesthetic? Also where is my revised Adventures music? Why do all the other levels get it but Sauria doesn’t?

- Put some of those funky items from the multiplayer into the main campaign. I don’t know why some of these things, items especially, were omitted unless it was purely due to time constraints. I remember having missile launchers and jetpacks in the multiplayer and was a bit sad that they were not in the main campaign. Retuning the levels and adding those in would be a nice breath of fresh air for the more tedious on-foot missions.

- More levels. Self-explanatory. Still sad we didn’t get the Zoness or Titania levels in the single-player mode.

I think all of the above changes would improve the game, though I recognize all of this is being said 16 years later after lots of time to contemplate Assault’s weaker points. I’m not entirely certain how long Star Fox Assault took to develop but given that there’s obviously quite a bit scrapped from the game (an entire arcade mode was scrapped as well), I’m going to assume that the studio felt pressured to shove the game out the door and into the hands of customers. It’s a shame, really, because I think a little bit longer in the oven would have done a lot of good. Still, the product we got was good in its own right and a game that many people look back on fondly. I haven’t gotten to replay it in years but I hope to quite soon.

You might wonder why I bothered typing this all out and I guess my point was this-- Assault was great but it wasn’t perfect, and while a lot of other games fall under a crushing amount of scrutiny, Assault seems to dodge it. And don’t get me wrong-- I adore Assault. But given that not many takes exist out there about rewriting it, I decided to give it a shot. For variety’s sake.

I do want to a mock up of a revised Assault story, which I think I will get to work on after completing this while all my ideas are still fresh in mind. So stay tuned for that sometime in the near future. I will also be doing my Adventures mock up at some point but probably not for a little bit as I do wanna focus some of my free time on actual fic-writing.

Anyways, if you stuck around this long, thank you for reading! Have any changes you’d like to see to Assault if you could time machine your way back to the early 2000s? Feel free to post in the comments, I’d love to read your ideas!

#star fox assault #starfox assault #super long #queue'd

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sugadaily · 4 years ago

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SUGA has this way of talking passionately with a deadpan look on his face. Full of passion about his life and music. How is your shoulder? SUGA: Good. I think it’ll get even better once I take off this brace. Apparently, it takes several months for a full recovery, but I'm trying to get better as fast as possible. How does it feel like to have resolved a problem that has distressed you for long? SUGA: First of all, I'm glad. The pain is one thing, but when my shoulders got worse, I couldn't even raise my arms. But when I heard that this might recur when getting the surgery at a young age, I waited for the right time and had decided to get it done early next year regardless of the COVID-19 situation. I had planned to get the surgery after the year-end stages, but I got it done this year (2020) because my doctors advised me to start preparing early for next year’s promotions and activities. How does it feel like watching the other members doing promotions? SUGA: I can't say it feels great. I could see the emptiness because we've been together as a group of seven for so long. Not necessarily because I'm not there but because something that should be there is missing? Is that what made you join the promotion as much as possible? You shot lots of video footage in advance and you even appeared in the Mnet “2020 MAMA” through VR. SUGA: Fake SUGA (Laughs). There’s this 3D studio where we shot it. I shot, scanned, and acted there, but couldn't see the actual result at the studio. I thought a sense of displacement was unavoidable, and that was exactly the case. (Laughs) I acted normal because it would have been aired anyway even if I hadn’t had the surgery, but it seems a lot because it’s aired after the surgery. You must feel restricted not being able to go on stage. SUGA: The thing is, it's only been a month after I got surgery, but my absence on stage is so apparent. But my doctors keep telling me that I shouldn't be impatient and in fact, many athletes get a resurgery when they return to the field without proper rehabilitation. So I'm working on trying to care less. For the first two weeks after surgery, I felt so frustrated that I tried out new things. I even watched movies I didn't watch.

What movies did you watch? SUGA: I watched ‘Samjin Company English Class’ as it happened to be on IPTV, and now I have ‘Tenet’ on my list. ‘Parasite’ was the last movie I saw at a cinema. As the social distancing measures became stricter, I haven’t been going outside, except going to the hospital. I even eat at home. I'm also watching a lot of TV nowadays. Watching music shows like ‘Sing Again’, ‘Folk Us’, and ‘Show Me The Money 9’ made me think of what I should do in the upcoming days. Could you elaborate on that? SUGA: A lot of candidates on ‘Sing Again’ are very talented but hadn't had the opportunity, and on ‘Folk Us’, I noticed that many took their own guitars on stage. I started playing the guitar lately and I'm having this urge to broaden my scope of music. And since my interest in the music industry in the U.S. grew, I'm getting prepared, studying English and all. What fueled your interest? SUGA: In some ways it’s the most commercially developed market. You could lose the industry attention in a flash if it's not feasible. So in this system, you would try everything and that would be an efficient way. I want to do music for a long time, and to this end, I always want to learn more about the global music industry because I want to do music that’s loved not only in Korea, but also in the U.S., Japan and Europe. Speaking of which, it seems BE was influenced from music of the past rather than today's trends. SUGA: I especially like impromptu music. I love the songs that were made in one take instead of being recorded several times. In this era of crossover genres, the desire to do better in music is growing inside me. As the genres become more blended, the melody you use must be more important. Does starting to play the guitar affect your composing in any way? SUGA: I always liked using guitar sounds. And I have always liked the Eagles. If you play the guitar, it’s way easier to write songs because you can carry it along wherever you go, pluck on the strings to create melody lines. Keyboards are difficult to carry around. (Laughs) I usually work on my laptop but I had this thought that I definitely needed an instrument. It accelerates my work and improves my understanding of chords. It makes me think you could intuitively make melodies. SUGA: It’s easier to write a song because you can intuitively make a progression and try many different things. During my work on ‘Eight’, IU had recorded and sent me a song from her phone. At the time I couldn’t play the guitar, so we tried to make sure we’re working on the same page when keeping track of each other's progress. That made me feel the need to learn an instrument.

This is actually before you started playing the guitar, but I found ‘Telepathy’ in BE very interesting. The varying melodic progressions between hooks for each member made me wonder if you wrote the melody intuitively for each part. SUGA: I tried a melody for the first time this year (2020), and as I started knowing the fun of music, it opened a lot of new doors for me. So it was kind of easy working on it. I just played a beat and wrote from the beginning until the end. Done. I wrote it in just 30 minutes. The song almost wrote itself. The trends of pop and hip-hop these days cross boundaries between vocals and rap. I like this trend. When I listen to your singing, it feels like you’re hitting the beats rather than singing along the notes. So I thought perhaps you're singing as if you're rapping. SUGA: When you're rapping, you just think of the rhythm, so it’s like simply putting on a melody to a rhythm. To define which comes first, I think melody adds to it while writing the rap. In ‘Life Goes On’, the lyrics ‘Thankfully between you and me, nothing’s changed’ are somewhere in between. It's not rap but it’d be mundane to say it's a mere melody. SUGA: There are obviously songs where the rap needs to be highlighted. For example, in ‘Dis-ease’ or ‘Ugh!’, you have to be good at rap. But in songs that should be easy to listen to, impressive raps are not always the way to go. Sometimes, you want smooth transitions without obstacles. In that sense, the rap flow of ‘Blue & Grey’ was impressive. Rather than a dramatic effect that emphasizes each part, you extended the rap just as much as the slowing beat. SUGA: To be honest, this beat is difficult to rap to. The beginning of the song only has a guitar line, which made it even more difficult. I participated when we wrote lyrics for ‘Blue & Grey’ and I've always wanted to work on a song like this. It was because verse 1 talks about the theme of the song.

It seems you achieved almost everything that you wanted in BE. SUGA: I think it took less than a week to make my part in the album. After having written one or two melodies for ‘Life Goes On’, I wrote a version complete with rap, and liked it that I even worked on a separate arrangement and lyrics. Rather than pondering over the ways that might work, I choose to simply play the music and write. Many creators are unsure even after they’ve produced good work. How do you get the conviction to release your work? SUGA: Many musicians are unsure whether they should release their music or not. It was the same for me, but the thing is, you’ll never release anything if you nitpick everything. For example, if we release 10 songs, we have a chance to unveil them in concerts or fan events. And sometimes, as we listen to the song, we think, ‘Why does this part that had bothered me no longer bother me?’ Some things might feel awkward at some point, but in time, it no longer feels awkward. Even I forget about it. So it's more efficient to fine tune, looking at the big picture, rather than thinking too much about the details. On top of that, during promotions, I don’t have the time to pick tracks that others have sent for 10 hours. It would be a success for all of us if each of us play and write a melody in their own time and collaborate with others on the details. So the way of songwriting has evolved in many aspects. What motivated such evolution? SUGA: I think it evolved naturally. I've changed in personality this year (2020), as well as in terms of my interpretation and attitude toward life to the extent that I almost thought I've been rehearsing. How would it feel like if there were no stage to go to or anyone looking out for me? This thought made me realize the value of these things. In ‘Dis-ease’, you sing ‘I don’t know if it’s the world that's sick’. Was it this lifestyle that changed your thoughts about your work? SUGA: Yes. When I was young, I had embraced the belief that ‘It must be my fault’, but as I got older, I realized that this is not always true. Most of what I had thought was my fault was in fact, not my fault. On the other hand, there are things that I did well and times I had been lucky. ‘I NEED U’ came out during a time when you were still thinking, “It must be me”. After the members put on a stage with ‘I NEED U’ in KBS' ‘Song Festival’, you wrote on Weverse, “It’s the same as five years ago.” How would you compare with back then? (This interview was held on December 19, 2020.) SUGA: We've matured quite a bit. And our stage performances have become more natural. I still like ‘I NEED U’. Just listening to the beat makes me sentimental, and above all, the song came out nicely. So as I was watching this and that when I stumbled across old videos. Watching them made me think that we haven’t changed much.

In what aspect haven't you changed much? SUGA: Before the social distancing measures got stricter, I talked with the photographer for BE, whom I had met four years ago. The photographer was surprised that we hadn’t changed much after all the success, even though he had assumed we’d be very different. I'm amazed personally. I’ve had the chance to meet the members before your debut, but from your way of talking with members or others, it seems you haven't changed. SUGA: I think it's because we don’t give it a big deal about success. For example, it's incredible to be ranked first on the Billboards, but there’s also this sense of, “Okay, and?” Even the Grammys? (Laughs) SUGA: When we got nominated for the Grammy Awards, we thought, ‘Is this real?’ (Laughs) Of course we were delighted, but it didn’t make us think, ‘We're singers nominated for the Grammy.’ If you're nominated, you're nominated, and if you get the award, you get the award. You don't get shaken by that. I know it's a great award and would be so grateful if we receive it, but we know that nothing is possible without the tremendous support of our fans. What’s more important is that the fans are more flattered than us when we receive a great award. So everyone's rejoicing, but it’s like, ‘Let's do what we have to do.’ We've been training ourselves to keep finding our places, so no one remains overexcited. In ‘Fly To My Room’, there are lyrics that say, ‘This room is too small to contain my dream’, and ‘Sometimes this room becomes an emotional trash can, but it embraces me.’ I had this feeling that the room had been such a place and that you were accepting that you have changed. Then the essence must have remained the same. SUGA: It wasn’t easy to accept that we eventually change. But I think it's a good thing that we changed. What we did back then was possible only at that time, and we could change because of the things we had accomplished. Then, what new things are you dreaming about? SUGA: I'm eager to continue doing music. Since all performances were canceled due to COVID-19, I had a chance to talk to so many musicians in Korea. I talked with legendary singers as well as people who are my contemporaries. Talking with them once again made me realize that I love music so much. Because music is my profession, I can’t imagine myself not doing it. I'm grateful that there are still unvisited areas in the world of music.

What kind of music do you think you’ll be engaged in in the future? SUGA: I was greatly motivated when I saw the concert of Na Hoon-a last Chuseok . I wondered how many musicians would actually be able perform and write music for so long like he has. At that moment, it occurred to be that ‘I want to be like him’. He has passion and desire, and most of all, he is a superstar. A few years ago, I took my parents to a Na Hoon-a concert, and when they watched the performance last Chuseok, they said it was way less impressive to see him perform through the TV. (Laughs) That must explain your interest in a broader spectrum of music from instruments to composing and musical genres. Because you want to be doing this for a long time. SUGA: My goal is to continue doing music in any shape or form. In that sense, I have this great respect toward Cho Yong-pil. He takes the best sound there is and reinterprets it into his own. I think that’s something I want to emulate and keep changing and evolving so that I can continue doing music for decades to come. The lyrics ‘Thankfully between you and me nothing’s changed’ must sound more meaningful for the fans because they will be listening to your music for a long time. SUGA: A month and a half in the current times must seem like a lifetime for the fans when we're far apart. I feel the same. But I think that's proof that we worked hard for the past seven years and that the fans have been passionately reaching out to us. I'm striving to get to them as fast as I can, and I'm eager to go on stage. I'm going through this because I want to be better on stage in a better condition, so don't be sad, and please hang in there a little longer.

#yoongi #suga #bangtan #bts #interview #210104

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