#they have such a good awful negative environment they create for themselves
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femmesandhoney · 2 years ago
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tras will protect rapists, pedophiles, domestic abusers, all because they don’t want to be accused of Thought Crimes and risk being called a “terf”. it’s really sad. people like dylan mulvaney and jeffrey marsh are prioritized over calling out and exposing actual abusers and pedos because people don’t want to risk being called transphobic. and if you have to delete posts about rapists and pedophiles because you don’t want to be called a terf then maybe you should reevaluate why there’s always a specific group of people you are defending that are constantly and legitimately accused of these crimes and why are you defending them, but of course that goes against the idea that trans women are the most oppressed group in all of human history and called them by a pronoun they don’t like should be illegal and it’s worse than being called a sexual predator (according to dylan mulvaney). society has fallen so far down smh
literally so many libfems just do not have a backbone. i once tweeted that so many people have no spine and up and discard their principles and opinions the second they get heat for it, especially if they're being insulted personally and not just debated. libfems have a crushing need to be liked by everyone which means picking up and throwing off opinions and sides like coats. i said this more concisely in a tweet of course, and without saying words like "libfem" but it upset a lot of old exclus people still following me who had essentially gave up their beliefs because it was "too hard" or they'd been worn down by the insane hatred and vitriol inclus/tras/fucking insane libfem people threw at them on the daily. to libfems, its so much easier to say "okay, fine you win! just stop calling me names, suicide baiting me, trying to doxx and report me, you win you're right!". so yeah it doesn't surprise me in the slightest how they cower at seeing the words "op is a terf" and delete shit out of fear of being under the heat. tras are fucked up.
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malorisaurus · 1 year ago
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I agree with this post and think that we need to avoid these narratives that adults interacting with kids is weird and creepy. It is going to take me a minute to get there, so please bear with me. I am so glad the person above didn’t have any negative experiences! I had a few, but I will detail only one here:
In the year 2000, I was 14 and very active on the Something Awful forums. I was raised in an ultra conservative, religious home and the website felt rebellious to me. I enjoyed talking openly about things that concerned me while also being shocked by exposure to humor and language so foreign to me.
There, I was ultimately in a position where I was being groomed by a cis-het presenting couple, and they actively used their relationship (we are a married couple, we are safe!) as well as their increasing knowledge of my abusive and unstable home life to try to convince me to leave my home and go to them.
I was fortunate that my mother had not tried to prevent me from interacting online, but instead taught me about the potential dangers present and what behaviors from adults are risky. Once they started pressuring me to come and see them, telling me that I was so mature for my age and that they loved me, asking for photographs, and getting increasingly manipulative about it, I left the forums, got a completely new AIM account, and never spoke to them again.
This was confusing and upsetting for me—I don’t recall thinking clearly about it. Instinct kicked in and I just walked away while not being able to pick apart all of my very muddled thoughts and feelings about what was happening. I cannot stress this enough: the fact that no other adults online were coming at me in this way was a huge part of what clued me into this being a bad situation for me. I knew I felt uncomfortable and violated by how they spoke to me, and the fact that I was in an online space full of adults that never once would speak to me like that set my alarm bells off while I was in the midst of my confusion.
I agree that kids need to have autonomy and that interacting with adults can be vital. I just also hope that they have the tools to remove themselves from situations that can be dangerous for them. Having more adults online who are willing to have positive interactions with young people and create safe environments for everyone is an excellent way of allowing kids to explore their autonomy while having options in safe people.
I was a vulnerable and abused kid; my metrics were off and my basis for feeling cared for was so far skewed outside of healthy. I needed other adults in my life to take me seriously and give a counterpoint to what was happening in my home. I wish that I had more people in my online spaces who genuinely interacted with me after finding out my age because, unfortunately, people who want to cause harm usually are super good at focused attention on the person they are fixating upon. And when you are emotionally vulnerable, that focused attention can be extremely alluring.
So yes, stop trying to control kids and instead encourage healthy spaces and interactions with people of all ages. Teach kids that they matter and that they have value and that no adult has authority over their body. Teach kids how to say no when they are uncomfortable and make soft spaces for them to land when confronting the scarier things in their lives. We can’t do that if we say that all interactions between minors and adults are messed up. And in online spaces, we can interact with kids in wholesome ways and make it broadly apparent that we are safe people for anyone to interact with—adults and minors alike.
Sometimes when people on the Internet are like "ADULTS CAN NEVER INTERACT WITH MINORS IT'S CREEPY" I remember how, at 12, back in 1997, I was on the Witchvox forums with people ranging from me to people in at least their 50s, and no one there was ever a creep to me, no one ever made me feel uncomfortable or asked for my personal info, and when I finally broke down after a particularly brutal day of bullying at school and posted about it they were the first adults I'd ever met in my entire life who told me the bullies were the problem and it was okay to be angry about it.
Kids need to interact with adults who will listen to them.
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Hi! I'd like to ask your opinion, as American. I have an impression, that USA is, basically, really conservative and patriarchal country, with a not quite good system of education and with strong religious influence. As a result, a lot of AFABs, as they prefer to call themselves, opt to any gender identity, like non-binary, genderfluid, or even decide they are trans as a coping mechanism. Add to this internet and activism, and you get... well, the current situation. But I'm not American myself, so, how do you think, can this be true?
Americans are.... Weirdly patriarchal. We've only recently started to really go away from the idea of a "nuclear family" with the dad as the breadwinner. There's so many political cartoons you can find making fun of women who were trying to simply get the right to vote. And even now with abortion there's a heavy backlash towards giving women their own atonomy. Like, we've come a long way from where we were before. And I can't speak for other countries. But we definitely have those ideals still ingrained in our society even if we're actively trying to work against them. The religious and specific conservative (I'd argue some liberal ones too) ideologies don't help that matter. As they tend to just further push gender roles onto our society.
There isn't any laws preventing you from going against these roles. But there is heavy social pressure-- which can fluxuate depending on your background and location. And going against the people around you can have negative consequences. My grandma was basically forced to marry my grandpa after he knocked her up. She didn't know anyone except her parents since they were strict and she went from being 100% dependent on them to dependent on him. She's only NOW getting a chance to live on her own and it honestly scares her because she's never been independent. Had she gone against her parents she'd of been on the streets. Gender roles still affect people's lives especially if they're LGBT or just a little too gender non comforming for their family's liking. This very much can cause you to lose financial support, shelter, food, etc. It just depends on what sort of environment you live in. It's different all over the USA. I have accepting parents that always let my siblings and I explore different things regardless of gender roles. I have friends who weren't so lucky.
Now add on to this all the violence we see in media. Cultivation theory is a communication theory where in we see the world as more violent then it is because we see so much news about it. I don't know about other places, but USA news tends to be depressing. It's usually scary or bad news that grabs your attention. Rarely is it good news. This causes people to be more on edge.
If you're a girl and you attended public school on the USA I guarantee you've had a talk, assembly, or something in regards to scarying you about men. I remember being forced to attend an assembly with all the girls in school where they had a church group come and tell us not to "accept a gift from a boy, accept a compliment, be careful even accepting a smile. All boys want is to get in your pants. That's all they care about. And they will take it against your will!!!" They spend over an hour just telling us how bad and evil boys were. How much our virginity is important. How we can't trust any boy ever. And shared stories of women who were raped or abused. It was not only just.... Disgusting, it was insulting.
They held another assembly for the boys after all the girls got upset about how awful that whole thing was. And the boys assembly was basically just them blasting music for an hour. One teacher even got on stage and said "we're supposed to talk to you about consent, but that's boring. We're just gonna have fun!!" It was even worse then the girls assembly. And all of the boys I talked to said they hated it.
Then you get the final factor that ties into your ask. Social media. Social media and woke culture has created this hatred against men. You can't be a man. Men are bad. Men are evil. But being a women is bad too. Being a women means being hurt, being abused, being forced to stay at home. Being a women is scary because women get hurt by evil men.
So what do you do? You don't want to be a women anymore. You don't want people to judge you because your women, to assume you're not strong, to only want you for sex, to only be nice to you because they think you're available, to be taught to be scared walking in public alone, to be taught how to guard your drink against getting drugged, taught to always stick with a buddy at parties just in case, to always be on the lookout for danger, to constantly feel like you have to PROVE yourself to others just to feel heard. It's exhausting. (Not saying men don't have similar issues, but we don't really learn about them).
The answer? Don't be a women. But you can't be a man either. So then you look at non-binary and it's perfect. You don't feel tied down by gender roles anymore. You feel free to be yourself. You finally can relax.
Except you can't. You still have to prove yourself. You have to work harder for people to see you as nonbinary. And unless you're managing to pass as a guy, you're still having to deal with all the same shit that women do. So nothing's really changed. It only gave you a temporary relief. because the issue wasn't your gender. It was the way society has forced you to experience the world based on your gender.
If your entire gender identity is based on gender roles I'm sorry. I know it sucks and it's hard. But that's not what gender is about. Gender is about your actual physical body. And I definitely believe the stuff I've explain above is one of several reasons someone who's afab may identify as something other than a women. and while I get it, it hurts not only them, but those who are actually trans based on their physical body.
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420pogpills · 4 years ago
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IMAGINE people thinking they know a cc's boundaries and feelings better than their own best friend. truly, imagine that. it's so so frustrating to see all these people criticising george and dream for the dynamics of their friendship. like it's just not your business?? if it really rubs you the wrong way then unfollow and/or block, but you really don't need to make a whole ass post about your opinion on something that has NOTHING to do with you. plsplspls people stop inserting yourselves into cc's friendships and personal lives i beg of you it's so weird.
unrelated but sort of related and also something i would like your opinion on: what do you think of stans trying to force other people into not liking certain cc's? for example, i see a lot of stans on twitter unfollowing moots / telling other people to unfollow moots because they support creators such as minx and techno etc. i don't understand why people can't just block and unfollow people they dont like and leave it at that? like why do you feel the need to convince other people to do the same or publicly shame them if they dont? idk it's just weird to me, it feels so controlling. the only time i can see that being justified is if a cc was being openly bigoted, but i genuinely don't think that's the case for a lot of the cc's twitter are trying to deplatform
it is indeed very very frustrating. it just isn't fair to assume things like that. by all means call george lazy if you want. but calling him a bad friend, or someone who uses his friends, who gives nothing back? that's just disrespectful. if you said that to dream or bad or sapnap or anyone, i have no doubt in my mind they would kindly ask you to shut up. if you think you're being a good dream stan by shitting on one of his best friends, you can think again.
again answer for a little long so putting it under here :)
as for the other thing, i think that's extremely unfair. that scary mob mentality, that alienation. it's so negative and upsetting. i have seen this happen SO many times, where people just reply '@ mutual @ mutual you're following this person' and i do not understand how they think that's okay. they are turning twitter into a school playground filled with bullies who publicly shame you. that's why i hardly ever go on there, and the only people i follow are content creators, and a few artists and few people i followed from tumblr. it's such a nasty environment.
and the funniest thing is how hypocritical it is. for example there's dream fans demanding people to stop supporting techno. so using that logic, you should also stop supporting dream, because dream is friends with techno. stop supporting every person on the smp because they are friends with techno. but no they like to pick and choose, they are so entitled to think they absolutely know what's right and what's wrong, and that they refuse to even discuss it with anyone.
you DON'T have the right to decide for someone else who they can support and who they can't. i'm sorry if something techno said once was offensive to you, i'm sorry if your feelings were hurt. but if mine weren't, if i can't take offence to what he said, if i'm struggling to understand why it's so bad to support him because he made some jokes that were in very poor taste in the past - forgive me for continuing to watch and enjoy that creator's content (of course though this is situation, there are certain things you can stop supporting someone over even if you did not take direct offence). but it's not up to you to decide whether i do so or i stop. forcing people to choose, and shaming them if they choose the option YOU don't like, is awful bully behaviour, and it creates an environment that is hostile enough for some people to just leave the fandom period. and it should never get that far, when people are just trying to enjoy themselves.
i don't watch minecraft streamers/youtubers because i expect them to be some sort of selfless humanitarians who were born to set an example to the rest of the world and be role models, who are perfect and can do absolutely no wrong. they are just people, and they will fuck up. some worse than others. but at the end of the day, if you want to make the world a better place, if you want to be the change - public shaming, alienating, threatening, cyber bullying... is not the way. but twitter isn't ready for that conversation.
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faelapis · 5 years ago
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@babybeetlebongos asked me whether i thought more “forgiving media” like SU will not be looked fondly upon by history because it’s not as “violent” as your spops or your gravity falls, and i had a lot of thoughts about that. tw for discussion of real-life politics, hopefully with enough sensitivity to explain where i’m coming from without being extremely tacky. i’ll probably fail, and i’m very open to criticism here, but i’ll try.
many people conflate healing with violence, and change with punishment. i don’t think they’re right about that, i think some people mischaracterize where SU would fall within “the politics of the moment” in the short term, even though SU takes the much more long-term, “cultures actually need to change over time, and there’s reasons people are the way they are that are bigger than the individual, and nobody will change if you don’t give them reasons to think that the future includes them rather than punishes them for sociological phenomenon outside any individual’s control”.
because the thing is, systemic change and “punishing the bad guys” aren’t actually the same thing. they’re sometimes related, but they don’t have to be. i think the “peaceful vs violent protest” debate has obscured another debate altogether - which is individualism vs structuralism.
individualism posits that, infamously, there’s “no such thing as society”, we are all individuals and we are all accountable for our actions. we have perfectly free will, so therefore, anything we do can and should be used against us. 
structuralism posits that actually, we Do live in a society, and what we can and cannot do is extremely limited to our environments. everyone are shaped by their upbringings, socioeconomic status, culture, social norms, et cetera, and therefore, it’s more important to change society than to punish/reward individuals. our responsibility is collective, not just to ourselves. the point isn’t who is “bad”, the point is that society is the reason why many internalize bad beliefs, and that’s what we need to work on - it’s a collective failing that we haven’t, and we all need to take responsibility for *each other*.
and i think a lot of people who pretend to be for systemic change would settle for punishing their abusers, when it should really be the other way around. i really hate “individualistic leftism”, as a structural leftist myself.
to take the current political example, which, yes, i know is tacky and not the point, but it was what prompted the discussion so i think i have no choice but to address what the discussion actually became - defund the police is more important, imo, than punishing individual officers. one is transformational change on a large scale that actually makes life better for people. the other... is really just venting / individualizing things, as if it would fix anything. to me, the fix is not about punishing the bad guys, it’s changing the system as a whole.
i understand the idea of "why not both", i'm not against that, but i try to be consistently against individualistic framing. thinking punishing individuals fixes systems is equally a shitty liberal mindset as thinking that things will go “back to normal” once trump is out of office. it just has an edgier, more violent spin. 
and that’s what bothers me about the framing of media like spop or gravity falls as the “good, revolutionary” media to SU’s “bad, reformist :(” media lens. it’s really reductive, and it makes that key prioritization that “punishment > change”, which is a very conservative mindset. 
SU actually changes the system. the diamonds are no longer in power, and there is no hierarchy. everyone are slowly changing to find themselves in a world where everyone equally has the chance to do so. gravity falls and spop gets rid of the bad guy on top and thinks that fixes everything. to those latter shows, the status quo was actually fine, we just needed to get rid of the bad people. to SU, it’s the opposite - we can’t expect getting rid of the “bad guys” to “fix everything” (that’s what rose tried to do w/pink), because the sociological cultural norms of gemkind means that they’re taught to love the diamonds. so if you just kill them, you become their bad guys (the way everyone reacted to “killing” pink). you have to have the compassion to understand that to these people, this idolization is normal, and dismantle that normal without condemning the people as a whole. 
but that’s not as sexy as “valid to kill anyone who does The Bad Things. having revenge fantasies about punishing your abusers = good leftist praxis. we fix things by punishing individuals for social issues beyond their control”.
and what’s sad about that mindset is that it often, actually, doesn’t think things can truly get better. nothing that happened in spop stops more shadow weavers from popping up, because the sociological conditions that lead to abuse haven’t been dealt with. it doesn’t seem to think it CAN be proactively prevented, only punished once the children are already scarred.
SU is a lot more... hopeful yet deterministic, in a way? as in, it thinks about (and cares about) how we are influenced by each other. it wants to achieve social equality so that those power relationships don’t exist to influence us in negative ways anymore. with the understanding that nobody is above those influences (not even the “good” privileged people like steven*). whereas spop - and gravity falls - are very much not that. they are individualistic. you kill the bad guys on top and that solves eeeeverything. no cultures need to change. they just need to be intimidated into knowing the “good” people are on top now and obeying them.
(*future is basically saying there’s no good diamond to replace the bad ones, and nobody should be "on top”. it hurts everyone - the same way the expectations of patriarchy hurts everyone. we’ve molded the ones on top into thinking they must and should take responsibility for everything, when that is neither good nor realistic. we’re all, collectively, responsible for healing the traumatized & creating equal relationships. and we can’t do that by individual reward & punishment. as much as that would validate some people’s anger.)
and those people? they’re ultimately just venting their feelings. which is fine. many have been told that their personal anger is something to be demonized, so they vent by engaging in these validation circle-jerks about how good and important it is to be angry. and then many think they’re woke leftists FOR being angry, rather than anger being a personal emotion without inherent good or evil.
many of them have people who’ve hurt them personally that they want to hurt back, or they just wanna make sure to condemn the Bad People so nobody will think they side with or excuse the bad people. the idea is that somebody needs to hurt. so we just gotta make sure it’s the “right” people.
maybe one day, they will realize that actually, social issues are bigger than individuals - and this goes both ways. it can’t just mean “and so we can’t blame the poor, disadvantaged for not being A+ students”, it must also mean “and so dismantling cishet privilege is more important than punishing individual, ignorant cishet people”. that’s the only way to be consistently sociological in your framing.
we don’t decide our upbringings, social norms, who are demonized/deified by society, or who has unjust amounts of power. we’re shaped by our environments, and so, it’s more important to change those environments (and undo those power structures) than to kill individuals we consider particularly heinous. punishing those individuals will not lead to social change. it never has. people generally don’t think they have to change because others were made “examples” of. they revel in being in a “battle”. people like having a fixed bad guy to fight. cops like the power & sympathy it gives them.
the current protests... aren’t even “violent”, in the spop or gravity falls sense. they’re just... property damage and collective direct action, which is much more targeted at dismantling the system than to punish individuals. they’re not really violent. people aren’t killing individual cops, they’re demanding that THE SYSTEM AS A WHOLE change. its cop culture that’s bad, it doesn’t matter if the individual cop is good or bad. ACAB because the system sucks. even if you try to be a “good” cop, you’re likely to be fired for speaking up, because the whole culture is awful.
this is kinda similar to something SU is saying - changing the system is more important than figuring out who “the bad people” are and killing them. people think they’re doing the right thing, but ultimately, the structures around them are making them think the hierarchies they’re in are just. it’s the whole of cop culture that needs to change, and maybe the idea of cops in general is a bad one. the system is the problem, and it’s bigger than any individual... which in turn means, or SHOULD mean, that the system can be destroyed and the individuals within it can change, because they’re not really “the problem”. the idea of putting the individual responsible offers behind bars is a fine one, but... it’s more symbolic than truly transformational. the true transformation would be to defund the police. 
i know these media comparisons are inherently tacky. they are. anyone who thinks that is more important than what’s going on irl is being shitty about it. you should be donating, protesting, doing a million more important irl things.
but these tacky comparisons ARE happening, and some people do think “liking the right media” is praxis, so... if you really wanna fit gravity falls or spop into this, the analogy would be more akin to like. defeating the biggest, scariest cop, and thinking that’s somehow gonna change policing as an institution. or thinking that someone killing trump will make all the police & right-wingers go away.
basically, it’s conflating your vengeance with true change. it’s spitting on the leftist value of universal compassion in the face of the sociological nature of reality, in which Everyone are influenced by their privileges and lack thereof in ways that are bigger than individual circumstances (and thus can’t be undone by individual punishment), and so we’re all responsible. but you’d rather not be - because you’d rather see the right people burn than focus your anger at the world and at challenging yourself and your own privileges. 
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gentlemanmoney · 3 years ago
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Poor Vs Rich: 10 Mindset Habits To Develop Now
You've probably come to this article to learn about the differences between how rich and poor people think and act so that you can apply what you've learned to your own life. Right?
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One thing is certain: it all starts with a positive attitude. If you want to be successful, you need to change your mindset.
A growth mindset is a recurring theme in the lives of successful people.
One of my all-time favorite quotes comes from Dale Carnegie. "People who persisted in trying even when there seemed to be no hope have accomplished most of the world's important things."
Having a wealthy mindset is all about making progress and sticking it out until you reach your objectives. What would be the best place to begin? Understanding the difference between the rich and the poor.
Are you prepared to learn the distinctions between the two?
Let's get this party started!
The wealth disparity between the rich and the poor is widening.
If you spend any time on social media sites like Instagram or YouTube, you've almost certainly seen people documenting their lavish lifestyles.
For some people, the images are true. Others, on the other hand, are in debt, have bad credit, and have no savings.
The author of the highly popular and captivating book The Millionaire Next Door has spent decades studying millionaires. Are you aware of what he discovered?
The vast majority of millionaires live outside of Hollywood. The vast majority of millionaires live in your neighborhood, drive that used Toyota, and use an iPhone from five years ago. These multi-millionaires have a wealth of knowledge to impart.
They're entrepreneurs who have built empires from the ground up, women and men who have maintained their old lifestyles while amassing substantial wealth.
Keep in mind as you scroll in awe that true wealth is rarely flaunted. It's also one of the reasons they're becoming wealthier. They're accumulating assets rather than buying the latest gadgets. And there are a lot more than you might imagine. This is a significant difference between the rich and the poor.
What does it mean to think like a poor person?
On the other hand, a sizable portion of the population is trapped in a poverty mindset. This usually convinces people that their situation is unchangeable and that living paycheck to paycheck is the best they can hope for.
Being poor and living in poverty are difficult concepts to grasp. Our surroundings, exposure, and life experiences can all trap us in the cycle. However, by deciding to change your mindset, you can carve your way out.
A person with a negative mindset believes that life has thrown them unimaginable obstacles that they will never be able to overcome.
This person is oblivious to the fact that everyone goes through difficult times. On their way to where they are now, Oprah Winfrey and the late and great Kobe Bryant both faced major personal and professional challenges.
Instead, they had a wealth mindset, and we'll go over some of the traits that distinguish wealthy people from the rest below.
You Should Start Imitating These 10 Rich People Habits Right Now
Let's look at some rich mindset habits you can start practicing right now now that you know the difference between poor and rich mindsets.
1. Wealthy people are always forward-thinking.
Ask yourself this question before you begin: what is your vision?
Jonathan Swift was absolutely correct when he said, "Vision is the art of seeing what others cannot."
Do you have dreams and goals that you're constantly considering achieving? Is your vision bigger than you think you can achieve right now? Will what you see in the future affect your life, your family's life, or your community's life?
Set a goal for yourself to create a vision if all you see is where you are right now. Keep in mind that this isn't a one-and-done situation once you've completed it. Instead, it's a daily process in which your mind wonders what else might be possible.
2. Wealthy people stick to productive routines.
Netflix, YouTube, and TikTok have recently dominated the entertainment scene. Millions of hours are watched every day.
While it benefits them, it does not benefit you - and the wealthy are well aware of this. The vast majority of wealthy people do not waste their time every day watching mindless content for hours on end.
The wealthy, on the other hand, are methodical. They adhere to a set of guidelines. They also understand that you don't just decide to be a hard worker one day.
When we talk about routines, we don't just mean getting up at 5 a.m. every day. That is only a portion of the picture. Rather, we're discussing the overall environment that the wealthy create for themselves.
The company of the wealthy is carefully selected. They care about what they feed their minds. Rich people also put themselves in situations that increase their chances of success.
Routines are made up of all of these elements: time, environment, and habits. When you need to get some work done, do you work from your bed, for example? As a result, you'll probably get a lot less done. Having a dedicated workspace will enable you to achieve much more. When it's time to go to bed, put your phone away.
These habits appear to be simple at first glance, but they are anything but. Rich people are well aware of this and make it a point to stick to a set schedule.
3. Wealthy people are focused on achieving their goals.
Wait, didn't we just say that the wealthy have a set schedule? Yes, they are, but wealthier people place a higher value on results.
Routines aren't created by wealthy people for the sake of bragging rights. Nobody gets up at 5 a.m. just to Instagram about it.
No. Rich people have laser-like focus on their goals and will go to great lengths to achieve them.
Routines in and of themselves will improve your quality of life. They will, however, do nothing to assist your bank account. Results will be achieved through the use of routines and deliberate action.
So, how should you go about getting things done? It's a good idea to start with the end in mind. Once you have a clear idea of what you want to achieve, it will be much easier to work backwards and figure out how to get there!
Wealthy people are willing to admit when they don't understand something.
Have you ever sat through a conversation with someone who clearly has no idea what they're talking about but insists on talking about it anyway? It's completely ridiculous.
4. Admitting you don't know and asking thoughtful questions is preferable.
This is something that the wealthy are aware of, and they are constantly on the lookout for new information. If you're learning from a mentor, ask insightful questions. Learn about their issues, what they're trying to achieve, how they plan to achieve it, and what they've learned from previous experiences.
Rich people know that paying attention always pays off. They gather data on best practices, new opportunities, and potential challenges and solutions.
They employ this ability when learning, negotiating, exploring, networking, and almost any other human interaction!
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5. People who are wealthy do not have to work for a living.
That's right, you read it correctly. Rich people are willing to put forth the effort to learn. Poor people work for the sake of getting their next paycheck.
It's strewn about the place. People who are poor are forced to live paycheck to paycheck, barely getting by. Rich people, on the other hand, continue to improve their skills and abilities as they progress up the corporate ladder.
If you make money your end goal instead of growing in your talents and abilities to earn more money, you'll be stuck working for money. If you work hard to learn, you'll be well on your way to success.
For more information on personal finance you can visit our blog 
Gentleman Money
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whatifyoulivelikethat · 3 years ago
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the continuation of chemistry love with the lowest activation energy you've ever seen, complete with two incompatible products
hello this is the anon who had a crush on the chemistry guy ^_^
i mustered up some confidence and asked him out! i considered the fact that he likes chemistry and asked him out with an embarrassing chemistry pick-up line... won't write it here because it's so bad xD
anyway, he turned me down! actually it was pretty bad, i think the joke annoyed him. apparently he's into girls who "apply themselves in meaningful subjects" and don't waste time "ogling over boys in tight pants." i think he noticed the bt21 hat i was wearing and the song i was listening to (butter by bts). honestly at that point i wanted to dieeee hahaaa xD
honestly, now that i'm writing this i'm getting a lot more upset about it :((( do you think the chemistry joke was too much? it was just a cheesy pick up line, and i was pretty much joking! did i insult his intelligence with a stupid joke? O_O okay i said i wasn't going to say the joke but here it is:
are you copper tellurium? because you're cute!
explanation: copper (Cu) + tellurium (Te) = copper tellurium (CuTe)
IT'S NOT EVEN THAT BAD! maybe not enough to make someone laugh, but it's just an innocent little joke! ahhhh, i'm sorry this message so long and it's not even a big deal but i'm so annoyed!!!
actually you know what!? i'm going to watch run bts and forget about my problems! bts could pour some stuff in beakers, but chem guy can't complete silly challenges while being insanely cute and entertaining!
(well, maybe he could, but i'd rather watch bts do it!!!! >_<)
thanks for the chat, even though technically i'm just sending this in now... well (technically) you did create a safe environment with your blog, where readers feel free to come to you with their problems without feel of being made fun of. i'm sure it can be tiring to hear so many negative experiences while you may be dealing with some things personally. while i'm not sure how you really feel about receiving so many asks that can possibly be triggering, i do think your blog has helped many people (both the smut and the advice). of course, while you're not obligated to help people with things unrelated to your writing, it's nice that you try your best to respond.
wow this ask has taken a turn!
anyway, i want to end this on a positive note. this is completely unrelated, but i had this amazing frozen snack today. it's basically coffee made into jelly with french vanilla ice cream on top. i also put in some yummy oreo bits! i'm currently in a heat wave right now and it was the perfect treat for my hot body temperature. just thinking about it makes me smile :D so tasty~
my goodness this is really long now, very sorry for wasting your time with this weird ask D:
You dodged a bullet or, rather, the Bulletproof Boys have protected you from accidentally dating a complete dickhead.
Thanks Bangtan! :D
Come on, he could have just said, "I'm sorry, I'm not interested" and not straight up insulted you! What the heck??? Yeah, the pick-up line was awful (sorry, it was XD), but if you can't have a sense of humor, what good are you? HUH? I think you did fine and he was unnecessarily mean about it. Hmph.
And, hey, at least you asked sooner rather than later and didn't spend weeks or months pining over someone who totally doesn't deserve it. Take the W. Run BTS! is the best therapy <3
Whoa, I think this is the first time someone has acknowledged that answering certain asks might have an affect on me. ^_^;;; I'm trying to find a balance, but I am pretty tough, it's hard for even me to tell if I've overdone it...
I don't think this wasted my time! I think it's important even for others to know that things don't work out sometimes and sometimes you need to watch Run BTS! and eat delicious snacks and watch BTS fight each other for their own delicious snacks that they could literally buy hundreds of boxes of but instead chose to betray their best friends during a ridiculous game that has a freaking essay as the rules that no one remembers until the staff reminds them LMAO
--
some nice words from a nice anon!
THAT WAS MEAN? that pickup line was cute, maybe a lil cheesy, but ?/??? im sorry chemistry anon but im very very very sure you could get someone better. u seem really nice wtf that's not fair. anyway ur gonna get over the man i just know it .
also, wiyllt
im sorry people send u triggering stuff :( man i wish there was a filter or something. i hope you dont push urself trying if u dont wanna (i know you've said you wouldn't but, just saying!)
No need to be sorry <3 I don't think they mean any harm and I have come to a point in my life where I can rationally think about it and choose whether or not to answer. Plus, I have IRL support who notice when I'm down and take care of me and bring me snacks or give me head - ya know, all the normal things one does when taking care of someone XD!
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dating24 · 4 years ago
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Jason Domino Wants You to Get Off and Get Information About HIV
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Azure-eyed Jason Domino is a British sex worker and porn actor whose adorable accent conjures dirty Downton Abbey fantasies. What makes Domino extra sexy is that he uses his popularity and platforms to advocate for sex workers, promote pre-exposure prophylaxis (PrEP), and combat HIV stigma in adult films. “My very first call to activism was about PrEP,” Domino said. “In 2016 or so, I did an adult film called Porn4PrEP. It was a porn film, but it was also trying to teach people about PrEP so they could make choices.” Domino, who takes the HIV prevention medication, did a scene with an actor living with HIV who happened to have a detectable viral load at the time, boldly showing that PrEP works. You can watch Porn4PrEP—the G-rated version—here: Once Domino started being a PrEP hero and gained a better understanding about undetectability, specifically the reality that people whose HIV is undetectable cannot transmit HIV sexually (undetectable equals untransmittable, or U=U), he made it a mission to inform others. “There’s a lot of HIV stigma going on in the adult film industry,” Domino said. He said there’s “still a lot of traditional views, particularly in the straight spaces. Well, ‘traditional views’ is putting it politely,” he added. “There’s some really awful stigma happening there.” It’s especially challenging in straight porn. In the straight world, if a performer tests positive for HIV, it can mean the end of a career, the end of any work at all. “There was quite a stink a few years back,” Domino said. “August Ames refused to do a scene with a pansexual actor who was working in both the gay and the straight industry. She cited HIV risk and protecting her body. It brought out a load of bigotry in the straight space.” Ames, a rising star in the straight porn world, posted about it on Twitter. The gay community quite strongly called her out for the homophobic way she framed it. It spawned a Twitter war about HIV risk and gays versus Ms. Ames’ own right to decide who to perform on screen with. “ was nasty. I tried to reach her when I saw the community kicking off,” Domino said. “I wanted to try to explain what U=U means and how things are different now. But it’s difficult when someone is already in a defensive space.” The social-media backlash was too much for her, and, sadly, she committed suicide just two days after the Twitter scandal erupted. “It was terrible,” Domino said. “There wasn’t a resolution of her learning and understanding how much HIV has changed. The straight porn community just saw it as a case of cyberbullying.” Ames’ suicide seemed to make the division between the straight and gay porn worlds even more pronounced. “There are these two separate pools of work, and it’s seen that the gay world takes more risks than the straight world,” Domino said. “It’s really difficult.” Seeing this divide and the lack of information and understanding across the spectrum of the porn world, Domino was sparked to join with others in the adult film world to create Porn Professionals for Safety Against Discrimination (PPSD). This site is a place for performers and producers to pledge to agree to a work environment that allows for performers to understand all the risks and non-risks when it comes to HIV and sex. It opens the door for disclosure, U=U, PrEP, sexual health, and choice without fear of judgement or repercussions. The pledge also gives performers the freedom and respect to choose whether or not to engage sexually with people living with HIV and promises to honor confidentiality when it comes to HIV status. The production companies that have signed on so far are Himeros TV, Porn4PrEP, Treasure Island Media, CrunchBoy, The Good Porn Project, and TelevisionX. Health organizations, industry groups, and content platforms are also publicly supporting those taking the PPSD pledge, including JustForFans.com, NAM aidsmap, and the Prevention Access Campaign. Besides the pledge, the site also includes supplementary information about HIV, disclosure, testing, and sexual health for other sexually transmitted infections. Because adult films are a global industry, performers often travel for work to different countries that have different testing capabilities and methods. The actor knowing as much as they can about the challenges beforehand is another key to remaining healthy. “We need to be having these conversations,” Domino said, “because if we’re not and it’s buried underneath, people aren’t going to be able to make right, educated decisions.” Domino, along with fellow adult performer Kayden Gray (from the film U Equals Fucking U), is encouraging other performers to take the pledge. Gray comes from the point of view of someone living with HIV and on successful treatment, and Domino is proof that PrEP works. “Right now,” Domino said, “we’re trying to get more individuals to sign on to the pledge, content creators—because there’s this big movement of people that are filming themselves—along with a number of straight actresses that are living with HIV.” “There’s a long way that we need to bring people,” Domino said. “There are organizations in America and across Europe trying to be safeguards for the porn industry, and there’s pressure from the medical organizations for the porn industry to get it right.” Domino is also raising funds for porn performers to have access to PCR HIV testing. This test reacts to the genetic material (RNA) in HIV, and can detect HIV as early as days after a possible HIV exposure. “With the PCR test, the result is enough information to know someone is either HIV negative or undetectable, verses a result indicating there was a high enough HIV viral load to be detected,” Domino said. This provides enough information for the performers and the production team on set, while still allowing for status privacy of the actor. This also enables productions (studios or the new wave of content creators) to demonstrate they are creating space free from discrimination. As with a lot of HIV knowledge throughout history, gay men like Domino are leading the way to greater understanding of HIV, even in the adult film world. “Sometimes you have to strong-arm them to get them to come along,” Domino quipped, “but we’ll get there.” Check out Jason Domino’s film work and activism on his website, and follow him on Twitter @thejasondomino and Instagram @thejasondomino. Source link Read the full article
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gaygay--astronaut · 3 years ago
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This is just a rant so just ignore it but I need to get it out but people have to accept that maybe sometimes you are the problem? Like obviously not in every instance but I just saw a post about how a person have every social platform cycle from good to toxic on repeat and just jump platforms because of that, like if that’s a pattern maybe you should learn about internet self care? Or when I see people discuss like Instagram as if it’s inherently toxic when in my experience it’s been the opposite— a place where I learned to accept myself better and feel better as a person. Because yes there are algorithms that promote awful unhealthy stuff but at the end of the day you decide who you follow, what you interact with, and who you block.
Like yeah it’s easier said than done obviously but it just irks me when people just throw away any and all responsibility, because online more than anywhere, you are in charge of your experience. I’ve had to block all thinspo and ana tags because guess what if I didn’t my eating disorder would be helluva lot worse rn. I block any disrespectful person and unfollow anyone that makes me annoyed. On my art acc on Instagram I remove negative comments not just for my sake but for the sake of others who may read them and internalize the homophobic remarks. I don’t go on Twitter at all anymore because it’s just brainrot all the way.
There are browser extensions to block websites, there are filtering systems and most social media platforms have block functions.
We really need to have like classes on this shit in school or something like when we had internet safety stuff back in the 00’s. Kids need to learn how to take care of themselves and be proactive in cultivating their online environment because it’s not just on the platforms. Some of it certainly are (hey @staff are ya gonna remove the TERFs or, uhm, literal nazis anytime soon?) but outside of that it really is on you or you together with a trusted friend to create a non-toxic internet environment. Marie Kondo that shit! Does it spark joy? No? Block!
I just get so frustrated when I see people that say social media is inherently toxic because I’m genuinely sorry that’s your experience but it’s also not my experience at all, nor anything universal.
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regeek · 5 years ago
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Thoughts about the Deltora Gem Guardians
I’ve fallen back into the fandom of a book series I read as a kid thanks to great art, memes, and analysis by tumblr users like @doomofthehills, @sisterofthesouth, @rat-king-reeah, @dragoninmypocket, and @dragonloverdoran​. I’ve been rereading the books and ahve a lot of thoughts about them. Theres a really good post by @mask131​ about how each book reflects the stone in it that got me thinking about the gem guardians. 
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Deltora is interesting for it’s themes of anxiety and despair. Sure, each book has a big scary monster, but often the stakes are as emotional as they are physical. Lief clearly struggles with anxiety, and has two attacks (in Shifting Sands and Shadowgate) that almost read like dissociative episodes. A lot of people have said they interpret the struggle against the Shadow Lord as a metaphor for living with depression or anxiety. Rereading the third series this is quite obvious, but I think there’s a bit more woven into the monsters of the original series. All of the Deltora books have a unique, memorable monster in its climax, some of the most diverse in fantasy fiction. But I think each of these monsters has a deeper meaning. In addition to being twisted versions of the ideal each Gem represents, I think they are each intended to represent a negative thought pattern, one that led them to their monstrous life and one the protagonists must keep themselves from falling into. 
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First up is Gorl, who I think represents Delusion. I’m not saying he’s meant to be a metaphor for actual psychosis symptoms (though he is one of the more unhinged characters in the series) but rather self delusion. Gorl lives in his own little world, unaware of even the most basic developments of Deltora’s history. He’s also one of the least interested in the stone he guards, obsessing over a different treasure our protagonists don’t even want. Gorl has been consumed by both his own greed and guilt, incapable of accepting the reality he has created for himself. He is a mass of paranoia and ignorance, trapped in a prison of his own making. (A theme later touched on in Isle of Illusion.)
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Soldeen is one of the easiest to peg: Depression. Happiness and despair are examined from multiple angles in the Lake of Tears, and in Soldeen’s case he represents the tendency for people to drag others into their own misery. This is most clear when he attempts to force Manus to live with him, but is generally why the Lake of Tears is such a depressing place: it’s ruler would rather force others to join in his misery than find happiness for himself. 
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Reeah is also pretty obvious: Narcissism. It is curious how vain Reeah is, given that pride isn’t one of the main themes of City of the Rats. It is an interesting bit of foreshadowing that Reeah considers itself the most valuable of the Shadow Lord’s servants, the “Chosen One.” We see a lot of the Shadow Lord’s minions feel the same way, though in Reeah’s case it might be true. Reeah was tasked with not only guarding the Opal, but the source of the Grey Tide. Reeah is also the guardian most responsible for corrupting its section of Deltora. The City of Rats exists solely to feed Reeah, giving it a kingdom where every other creature is tiny and insignificant compared to it. But the rats small size is made up for by their numbers, and ultimately they end up feeding on Reeah as it fed on them. 
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The Hive can be seen as representing Conformity or Compulsion. This sort of thing is par for the course for hive minds in fantasy and sci-fi, but it’s interesting how the Hive affects the minds of those around it. Rigane the Mad and Lief struggled to keep their inviduality when exposed to the will of the Hive. It nearly pushed them into a life of mindless obedience through sheer force of will. The Shadow Lord and his followers always tried to manipulate and control others through trickery and deception, the Hive used brute force. One of the most chilling lines in the series is when Lief realized the warning didn’t say “mindless will to survive” but “mindless will to serve the Hive.��� It’s interesting that we never saw the Hive’s queen, though we know it had one. I would assume she was a creature of compulsive service too. The Hive wasn’t about serving an individual, but service for its own sake. 
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Gellick represents Spite. While Reeah focused on how high it was above others, Gellick relished in punishing those below it. Gellick was petty and demanding, doling out harsh punishments for the smallest slight. It demanded nothing less than complete subjugation and was barely satisfied with that. Gellick was like a petulant child, reminding me of Dudley Dursley. Gellick was able to get away with this abhorrent attitude because it was so certain nobody would rebel against him, as they needed his poison. Gellick took full advantage of this to be as bossy and horrible as possible for he never believed anyone would resist. 
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The Glus is a little hard to pin down, but I would argue it represents Instinct. Instincts aren’t necessarily bad, but in order to make it in life you have to resist your base urges every now and then. The Glus’ origin story adds an interesting layer, depending how you interpret it. Either it preserved the girl who cared for it in its web forever, or it ate her despite her kindness, ruled only by its own hunger. Either way I think the Maze of the Beast is not the ideal environment for the Glus, and it can be thought of as an invasive species. I imagine the Glus is meant to crawl in the ocean floor, its massive size free to explore the open sea. It is as trapped in the Maze as its victims, refusing to leave a habitat it was not meant for. I find it notable that the way the trio escaped the Glus is by damaging its home, and it ignored prey in favor of its obsessive need to repair its environment. I also find it interesting how the only two Guardians that are not destroyed are the Glus and the Hive, who are also the only two that are natural parts of Deltora’s ecosystem. 
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The Guardian of the Diamond is kind of tricky. He’s the most intelligent, and most human of the guardians, so his personality is the most complex. He’s also explicitly associated with greed, pride, hate, and envy, making it hard to associate him with a single theme. However I think that overall he is a creature of Sadism. He is obsessed with games and puzzles, forcing his victims to play them. But he delights in the knowledge that no matter what they do, they are doomed to failure. He is excessively polite and glib, even though he plans to kill everyone he meets. And why wouldn’t he be? He knows they can’t steal the Diamond, and even if they figure out his puzzle, the revelation of his “true name” will make them abandon hope. So he sits on the side, taunting his victims with false kindness and reveling in their inevitable suffering. 
It should be noted that in each book, Lief, Barda and Jasmine succeed by rejecting the lifestyle of each guardian. They destroy Gorl with the prison of vines he built around himself. They convince Soldeen to pull himself out of his own despair. They feed Reeah to the masses he lorded over. They retrieve the Lapis Lazuli from the Hive by replacing it with something of equal size but no value, and Lief keeps his sanity with the help of his friends. They destroy Gellick by uniting the Kin and Dread Gnomes in rebellion against him, and his own awful personality is what ultimately kills him. They distract the Glus with a more powerful instinct than its hunger. And they play the Guardian’s game but keep up their resolve the whole time, even at its emotionally devastating conclusion. 
Anyway, hope any DQ fans reading this liked it. I’d love to hear your thoughts, And I’m thinking about doing a similar thing for the guardians of the Four Sisters. 
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furvillaconfessions · 4 years ago
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A Gentle Reminder
I want to take the time to remind you all that you don't owe your time and energy to anyone. You don't have to have a 'reason' to block someone. If someone makes you feel anxious, uncomfortable or just bad in any way, thats more than enough of a reason to block them. It doesn't have to be personal, it doesn't have to be the result of some altercation or interaction. The only person's comfort and happiness that you are responsible for is your own. If someone is begging, bothering you, or trying to use you as a therapist or whatever, You can block them, you aren't responsible for someone else's actions. The block button is a universal feature on most sites for a reason. If someone is making you uncomfortable, you have two options to make the situation better. 
1. If you know the person and want to stay in contact despite the situation, you can contact them and let them know what theyre doing and how it affects you, many people simply arent aware of their actions, especially online, and may even appreciate the honesty and will work to improve themselves. if they start making excuses, blaming you, or blaming it on something else without wanting to change, that probably is a good sign that it's not worth the effort and you should just block them
2. Just block them!!
Cultivate your own online experience, again, you do not owe yourself to anyone except yourself. It's your choice if you want to help people, but if it becomes too much, its OKAY to step back. Don't be afraid to tell people who vent to you for help that you may not be mentally or professionally equipped to deal with their problems on top of your own. I'm guessing most of you aren't therapists, so you shouldn't be treated as such. 
Blocking someone isnt always some big dramatic sign of "I hate your guts", so if you've been blocked by someone it's better to not make a big deal about it. I understand that it can be nerve wracking and upsetting, but its best to try to not let it get to you too much. Some people just don't mix well. Of course, its best to avoid creating echo chambers and not block everyone with an opinion that differs from yours, but in the end its up to you to decide what online environment you want to create.
Real life can suck, and while we all probably have people in our lives that we'd benefit from cutting out, whether we realise it or not, that's just not always an option for us, so its okay to want to cut people you don't mesh with out of your online experience. It's not being 'sensitive' or 'overreacting' to just want to have a positive experience sometimes, it's not being unfriendly or whatever to not want to have to cater to everyone at every moment. You shouldn't have to constantly walk on eggshells (If you're following the rules and being a decent person at least). So once more.
You do not owe yourself to anyone, and the only person's happiness and comfort you're responsible for is your own.
This is as much of a reminder to myself as it is for you guys, i struggle with this kind of negativity and anxiety as well. I don't hate anyone, but its also important to remember that past actions of yours could have made someone uncomfortable. Even if you've grown, its okay to be blocked (I should know, I was an AWFUL teenager good lord im so sorry guys), and its okay to block others.
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scripttorture · 5 years ago
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Under the right conditions, is it possible to "brainwash" someone using torture? My character was raised by someone who wanted to turn him into their own weapon, so they would condition them to react a certain way, using what can be seen as torture methods. The history of this character will only be shown in flash backs but I want to get this right and show the terrible and lasting impact of that history.
Nope.
 Not even remotely possible. And the way this trope is used in most fiction it isn’t really survivable either.
 The best case outcome I can see for a situation like the one you’ve described is a severely physically disabled and severely traumatised adult who would probably be unable to care for their own needs or ‘pass’ as a normal member of society.
 I’m also… skeptical of some of the phrasing here. ‘Can be seen as torture methods’ sounds very much like plain ol’ torture to me. Whatever apologist material you’ve read I can assure you that in reality there is really very little grey area.
 Chances are what you thinking of is torture and has serious long term physical consequences. Like death.
 If you really do want to get this right then in my opinion you have a choice between keeping the torture or keeping the character as an effective fighter.
 I can’t tell you which is the better choice for your story. That is up to you.
 But if you want to be realistic and if you want to be respectful to survivors you can not have both.
 Neither option is right or wrong. It depends on what you think the most important part of this character is.
 If the torture seems to be the most important part then that’s going to mean accepting the effects on the character.
 A lifetime of torture starting at a young age is likely to result in death. When it doesn’t severe mental health problems and developmental delays are guaranteed. Long term physical disability is incredibly likely, but the exact form it would take depends on the abuse.
 Intellectual disability is also really really likely. Especially if the character is kept in solitary confinement, starved or food is withheld as a punishment.
 A character like this would be much less effective as a fighter then an ordinary person. They would learn how to fight much more slowly. Their strength and reflexes would be worse. They would be significantly hampered by chronic pain and whatever other forms of physical disability the abuse left them with.
 Essentially if a character like this reached adulthood they would probably require some form of regular support. This could range from health care worker visits every other evening to 24 hour care. It would take years of support, care and concerted effort for the character to be able to care for themselves and function as a member of their community. Even with all that support they might never be able to care for themselves.
 This is what I mean when I talk about the misconceptions we have around torture being harmful.
 Because we have all seen dozens of examples of this narrative. Where tortured characters are ‘forced’ to become warriors, assassins, ‘killing machines’.
 The reality is these people struggle to leave their homes. They struggle to feed themselves.
 And we turn around and paint them as dangerous for it, for daring to survive.
 It just isn’t cricket.
 Which brings me to option two. Trying to make the character into an effective and loyal fighter.
 That means getting rid of any physical abuse in the narrative because it is more likely to produce resistance to the ‘teacher’ character and is more likely to make a less effective fighter.
 When I say ‘any physical abuse’ I absolutely mean it. Spanking, going to bed without supper, standing or sitting in the corner for long periods, washing their mouth out with soap. Any physical punishment should be avoided in the story.
 Even if it’s a punishment that is normalised or portrayed as ‘less harmful’.
 Solitary confinement also definitely counts. The definition is less then 1-2 hours of human contact a day.
 There’s research on the effects of solitary confinement on young children, but studies on incarcerated teenagers in the US clearly show a larger negative effect in children compared to adults. If the effects on teenagers is severe enough to have a lasting impact on their ability to socialise then I think it’s safe to assume the impact on younger children would be devastating.
 Realistically speaking if you want a character to be capable of interacting with others in a passably ‘normal’ way then that character needs to have regular, positive interaction growing up.
 Abuse does not instil loyalty.
 In fact the evidence we have for torture pretty clearly shows that it increases resistance. It produces opposition, often lasting and strong opposition. This does not necessarily mean violent action; it means that survivors and witnesses tend to despise torturers and anyone they associate with torturers. And they act on those feelings in whatever way they can.
 Abuse does not aid learning or training.
 It does make students significantly more likely to die.
 If you want a character who is loyal and can fight well then realistically speaking the process you want to describe is more like a cult. I refer to these techniques as ‘ICURE’ partly because some of the literature does and partly because I feel like it’s a helpful acronym that reminds readers what the techniques are.
 ICURE means: Isolate, Control information, create Uncertainty, Repetition and Emotive arguments. Let me break that down and explain how it works.
 The group (or possibly just the abusive individual in your story) isolates the targetted character from people outside the group. This can mean physically imprisoning them or (more commonly) making it difficult for them to socialise with people outside the group.
 This can be done with punishments. But more often it’s achieved with manipulation rather then violence.
 If the target is encouraged to ‘convert’ others or persuade them to join the group that can severely limit the social interaction they have with people outside the group. It teaches people outside the group to avoid that person otherwise they’ll get a sermon.
 Another approach might be putting social or emotional penalties on interacting with people outside the group.
 For example, say this child character sees other children playing in a park and asks the teacher character if they can go and play.
 First the teacher might say that other children are awful and do they really want to go? They won’t enjoy it. Are they sure? Well the teacher has a lot of things to do today it would be very inconvenient. Are they really sure? They won’t have fun. Other children are bad and mean. Wouldn’t they rather do some more training like a good child or play a game with the teacher? Are they really really sure? Well alright fine they’ll go outside but only with the teacher and only for twenty minutes-
 This kind of interaction teaches children that trying to interact with people outside the group is not worth the effort.
 This is part of ‘Controlling information’. It means that anything the character learns is first filtered through the larger group. It’s a form of censorship which means the character is only exposed to information that supports the group/ideas the group wants the character to have.
 This is combined with creating uncertainty about beliefs the group wants the character to reject. Often this means only providing information that discredits their outside belief systems. It can also mean extended discussions about ‘why x is wrong’.
 Things that are designed to create uncertainty don’t have to be true or accurate. Often they’re not. But if the character has little contact with outside sources they may never find out the truth.
 Repetition is, what it says on the tin. It’s repeating this pattern of only giving the character information the group wants them to have, positive messages about the ideals the group wants to instil and negative messages about previous belief systems. Consistent repetition over a long period of time has an effect on our beliefs. Sometimes it even effects them when we know the information is wrong.
 Emotive arguments means- well keeping any discussion away from logic. Something like- going from ‘well I’m not sure this idea about our belief system lines up with what you taught me’ to the manipulative character asking why the target hates them/God/the entire group.
 This sort of environment through childhood would lead to an intensely isolated individual, almost entirely reliant on the teacher-character for all their emotional and social needs as well as physical survival.
 And that produces a character that’s likely to be intensely loyal.
 Because we are social animals and we need positive interaction. We will often to choose to go along with group-actions, even if we don’t like them or feel they’re wrong, if the alternative is being alone.
 Manipulative groups and individuals often go out of their way to persuade targetted people that the only options are them or complete isolation. It’s a horribly successful strategy.
 Rounding this off- I suggest you take a look at this masterpost on common torture apologia tropes.
 You should also read this post on researching torture and this one on the most common effects it has on adults.
 I can’t tell which of these two options is the correct one for your story.
 All I can really do is explain why the story, as it is right now, is unrealistic. And how that repeated fictional trope harms survivors and our understanding of torture.
 Where you go from here and how you use that information is up to you.
Availableon Wordpress.
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angelmichelangelo · 4 years ago
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idk if this is discourse or something you dont want to get into but are garrett and shane still friends??
short answer: 99% sure they’re not. and i’m saying 99% because i obviously can’t be entirely sure because. i don’t know these people irl lol but in my head im like 100% sure they’re definitely not on speaking terms right now, and haven’t been in a loooong while.
long answer? and boy, it’s a long answer: i think garrett removed himself from shane’s circle (with the exception of andrew ofc) long before the drama kicked off. i don’t really recall because i didn’t watch them at the time but i do remember seeing garrett kinda.. disappear from videos around the whole j* era .
i think garrett made a choice when he thought about who he was hanging around with and whether he needed those people in his life. considering andrew was working for shane at the time still, i imagine it would have been hard? i guess? to just be like “yeah i don’t wanna hang out anymore except you andrew but you’re here like most days anyway”
which obviously in the end when needed, andrew took off too and both garrett and andrew created their own empire without shane lmao.
looking back, i don’t think shane even liked garrett that much. as much of an “empath” that he says he is (it gives me such bad second hand embarrassment to even write that lol) he really didn’t give a fuck about garrett. and people would and probably still do, argue that that’s just their level of friendship! lightly bullying your friend but knowing the bondries as to not ever really hurt their feelings.
but shane always pushed that boundary. he was downright cruel to garrett in some instances. and it’s not just the “harry potter is lame” jokes that garrett actually mentioned kinda suck, which they do! but garrett was treated like the comic relief in the group, because in shane’s little bubble he wanted everyone to be what he wanted to be.
you had shane: the hero of the story.
ryland: the sassy back talking witty one (though ryland has the personality and the wit of a broom so that didn’t really work did it)
andrew: the sweet, middle ground, quiet one.
morgan: the clutz thats hastag relatable
and then you have: garrett. the idiot fool who bumbles around, making a scene wherever he goes and is practically babysat by everyone else.
one thing that fucking IRKS me about this is that if you watch garrett’s videos, you know he’s goofy, funny, an insanely fun person. but he’s far from being an idiot. shane couldn’t have someone else besides himself (in his own mind) being funny AND clever (again, in his own mind) so he belittled him and acted like he was a burden to have to lumber around all the time, rather than just a silly, goofy friend that would joke around a lot.
one part of a video was when they were at an airport (i think they were going to Texas) and andrew and garrett are goofing off as they put benjamin in the bag and ryland literally goes “we’re all waiting, garrett,” with this.. snarky, shameful tone. AS IF THEY HAVENT ALL EMBARRESED EACH OTHER IN PUBLIC BEFORE like UGH the whole fucking bunny video makes my blood boil i can’t even get into it it makes me too mad lmao.
so i think garrett definitely decided at some point that he didn’t want to take that kind of abuse anymore, and i definitely think andrew saw it as well - because andrew and garrett were friends way before shane came along, so to me, i feel like andrews priorities always were always with garrett, and if garrett were to leave, i think andrew knew he’d leave to, job or no job, he cared more about his friends than money and fame (looking at you shane ryland and morgan)
shane doesn’t care about his friends or his “loved ones” or any of the people around him. he cares about money and fame and numbers and attention, even if it’s the negative kind. he’d joke that he KNEW he was treating garrett like shit and he’d use that as fuel to keep going, because he knew it drew more people in. plus, i feel like shane knew how popular garrett was getting. his channel exploded and he started making videos and people LOVED him. rightly so lol. nearly half the comments were about garrett; something he said and did, and rather than be excited for his “friend” shane took his anger out on him, almost, and again this is just my opinion, but in a way.. to control garrett.
i think it’s only human to think certain things, and i wonder if garrett had any worries that all his growing success and attention was because of shane and not because of himself. i wonder if maybe, deep down, he had some kind of fear that if he left, his subs would leave too. but obviously, he took the plunge, and everyone stayed and shane’s channel went up in flames lmao
garrett is one of those youtubers i think is very genuine. whilst everyone wears a certain mask online, which is fine, i feel like garrett’s is very thinly veiled. what you see is what you get with him, and the fact that his personality was used as an emotional punching bag by people he trusted and cared about, is really awful.
and i don’t fault him for sticking around shane. we’ve all witnessed toxic friendship/relationships, and im sure a lot of people understand how HARD it is to just get up and walk away. i think garrett tried his best to help shane and make him a better person, but i think it reached his limit, and he had a talk with andrew and they made the mutual desicion to move on without the rest of them.
AND THEYRE KILLING IT TOGETHER!!! i mean, fuck morgan for trying to shift blame on them for leaving, and fuck shane for obvious reasons and fuck ryland for no other reason that i hate him with an inch of my soul GOD he’s so fucking boring to look at. where’s the flavour???
i personally do not think that the nature of their friendship is something garrett is ever going to casually mention or make a sit down video about. i think the only information we’ll get is from shane’s pov either rather snarkily through rylands podcast or if shane ever attempts to come back to youtube, he might just mention them in passing OR they’ll all eventually all break the mutual on social media and that’ll be that. i feel like shane is the kind of person that won’t outright say anything on his own channel to hurt andrew or garrett because he’ll still want to keep up his uwu soft boy personality, but my god i can practically hear the fucking snide comments they’ll make on the podcast that don’t outright namedrop them, but they’ll probably make comments about “fake friends” or some shit like that, and all the brainless shane stans will use that as an excuse to be leave nasty comments on garrett and andrew’s stuff like they already do. so i guess we’ll just have to wait and see and know that hopefully andrew and garrett are prepared for any hate they’ll no doubt be receiving once shane tries to force his way back into the circle again.
so yeah, that’s my long answer lol. i don’t know if there was a discussion between them all but i have a feeling garrett just went away and kinda faded them out, and obviously im guessing there were conversations with andrew and shane since technically he worked for him, but yeah, there’s no way they’re all good friends behind the scenes. and im so fucking fine with that because andrew and garrett were 100% the reason i used to watch shane’s videos, and i’m glad they removed themselves from such a toxic environment where they went off and found success together without needing money or fame or any drama attached.
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musedbycoffee · 4 years ago
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more depth ⁕ the concept of loving yourself
In this week’s episode, we spoke about the concept of self-love and how the title “self-care” has grown disconnected from its original and intended meaning. We then explore ways of self-love and what it looks like.
As we have mentioned, today’s understanding of the terms “self-love” and “self-care” has become terms that carry a skewed meaning. When we hear these terms we often cringe and perceive them with a negative connotation because of the misuse. Many of the times, “self-love” and “self-care” are used as selling terms for certain products and advertisements just to grab an audience’s attention to make profit. With all the different contributing factors, we end up making a joke out of this concept and unknowingly become more attached to the materialistic aspect of it.
We must learn to see the fine line drawn between self-love defined by society and self-love in its truest form. You may think, “how do you even do that when they overlap?” Well, you’re not wrong. They do overlap. For example, it’s common for people to assume that they just need to put on a face mask and relax and that’s it. That is self-care. While for others, it’s meditating or staring out into the ocean and clearing out their minds. Yes, to some extent, simply putting on a face mask and relaxing is a form of self-love, but when you repetitively do this and assume that your problems or concerns will all go away afterwards, then it becomes an unrealistic habit that you have created and branded into your mind. You have convinced yourself that just taking care of the physical aspect of your health is enough to be considered “self-care” when it is so much more than that.
It is important to remember that your mental health is equally as important to your physical health. A lot of the times, we are so caught up in taking care of ourselves physically that we forget how we are mentally. Loving yourself means to love yourself from within. If you only focus on one aspect and leave out the other, are you really loving yourself completely? No matter how many face masks you use or how many purses you buy won’t change how you feel deep down inside. It’s obviously good to treat yourself once in a while but when you turn retail therapy as a permanent way for you to love yourself, you neglect what the real problem is. When you neglect that part of yourself, everything will begin to build up and it will become a long term problem.
Of course, I’m not here to shame those use face masks as a form of self-care. I mean are you kidding? I do that too. However, it is good to remind yourself that things like retail therapy can only bring you temporary happiness and spark of positivity (I know this all too well lol). In the end, you’ll need to face your own fears and problems to further improve and move on. As hard as it is, we can all do it as long as we put our hearts into it. You’re not alone. 
– Kelly
–––––
You are worthy of love regardless if you can say you love yourself or not.
Yet we’re always trying to find ways as to how we’re the exception to that, trying to find reasons for why we don’t deserve it. Love is complex, especially when it comes to one’s love for themselves. When understanding that love comes in all shapes and forms that are susceptible to fluctuation at any given moment- loving yourself doesn’t have to be the “end goal.” It becomes harder to allow yourself love when you’re too focused on the future prospect of it, because that way you’re essentially just looking for ways to make yourself feel deserving of that love instead of allowing yourself to accept unconditional love. And accepting love is a part of self-care. That’s why focusing on the present is so important, because you can do something now instead of constantly preparing for an idea (the future). Hence why we mention centering yourself in the moment as a step to self-love.
Earlier in the episode I mentioned being out in nature as a method for centering the self, and that oftentimes there are prerequisites to even beginning the step of taking care of oneself. Understanding that you need to take care of yourself is one thing, and actually attempting the action of taking care can be a whole other hurdle to get over. For me, a prerequisite (or I guess you could say a motivation) to taking care of myself is my environment. Many times, it seems impossible for me to pull myself out of my thoughts, especially when I’m also physically in a slump. And I’ve recognized that being indoors further drains any possible ability from me, maybe because I can’t feel the warmth of the sun, or the movement of the wind. Living things that remind me that I’m in the present. So, I suppose in those moments of struggle it makes it harder for me to remember that I exist during times I’m stuck with only my anxious thoughts between four lifeless grey walls. That’s not to say my problems will disappear by simply going outside, but things become clearer when I’m able to come back to reality. 
 With that said, I am indebted to this earth and its gifts and can only hope that someday I can give back twice as much as I have received. And I think that language of reciprocity is what allows me to continue my journey of caring for and improving myself. Revitalizing my own Indigenous knowledge has been the strongest influence in my exploration of self-love. I wish for all those who read this may find something that helps them to nurture and mend their own relationship with themselves.
Truthfully, I have been quite awful at self-care throughout my life and I know that even as I get better at it there is still much room for improvement. Becoming more aware of how I lack in self-love and how that effects other aspects in my life has been the most helpful step in progressing. Even if I’m way better off than I was just a year ago, that isn’t to say that every day is easy in caring for myself or that I don’t regress in some sort of awful way here and there. But I continue to learn and am more and more open every day to allowing self-love to reach me.
Remember you are worthy of love. Yes, You!
 – Ali
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basicsofislam · 4 years ago
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ISLAM 101: Muslim Beliefs: Existence and Oneness of God Almighty: TAWHID (GOD’S ONENESS)
All religions revealed to the Prophets have the same essence. Over time, however, the original message was misinterpreted, mixed with superstition, and degenerated into magical practices and meaningless rituals. The conception of God, the very core of religion, was debased by anthropomorphism, deifying angels, associating others with God, considering Prophets or godly people as incarnations of God (Jesus Christ, Buddha, Krishna, and Rama), and personifying His Attributes through separate deities.
The Prophet rejected such theological trends and restored the conception of God as the only Creator, Sustainer, and Master of all creation to its pristine purity. Thus, as John Davenport puts it:
Among many excellencies of which the Quran may justly boast are two eminently conspicuous: the one being the tone of awe and reverence which it always observes when speaking of, or referring to, the Deity, to Whom it never attributes human frailties and passions; the other the total absence throughout it of all impure, immoral and indecent ideas, expressions, narratives, etc., blemishes, which, it is much to be regretted, of too frequent occurrence in the Jewish scriptures.
Tawhid, Divine Unity and Oneness, is clearly observed throughout the universe. If we look at ourselves and our environment, we easily discern that everything depends upon this principle. For example, our bodily parts cooperate with each other. Each cell is so connected with the whole body that the One Who created it must be He Who created the body. Likewise, each element comprising the universe is interrelated and in harmony with each other element and the universe as a whole.
Given this, the only logical conclusion is that the same Creator Who created the particles created the universe, and that the motion of subatomic particles is the same as that observed in the solar system. Everything originates from “one” and returns to “one”: We originated the first creation, so We shall bring it back (to its former state) again (21:104). A tree, for instance, grows out of a seed or a stone and finally results in a seed or a stone. This strict obedience to the One Who established that order explains why the universe is so orderly and harmonious. As the Creator, One, All-Omnipotent and All-Knowing, operates it directly, how could it be otherwise? As the Qur’an reminds us:
Each god would have taken off what he created, and some of them would have risen up over others. Had there been gods in Earth and heaven other than God, they both would have been in disorder. (21:22)
Tawhid is the highest conception of deity that God revealed to us through His Prophets, among whom were Moses, Jesus, and Muhammad. Over time, people deviated from the pure teachings after their Prophets died. Turning to polytheism or idolatry, they relied upon their own faulty reasoning, false perceptions, and biased interpretations to satisfy their lusts. Such a course is impossible with a tawhid-based system, for this requires that they obey only the One Supreme God’s commandments.
‘Ali Ibn Abi Talib is reported to have said:
The foremost in religion is God’s knowledge, the perfection of His knowledge is to testify to Him, the perfection of testifying to Him is to believe in His Oneness, the perfection of believing in His Oneness is to regard Him as pure, and the perfection of His purity is to deny all kinds of negative attributes about Him.
He is infinite and eternal, self-existent and self-sufficient. As stated in the Qur’an:
He is God, One, needy of nothing and Everlasting Refuge; He begets not, nor is He begotten; and there is none like unto Him. (112:1-4)
There is nothing like or compared unto Him. (42:11)
Vision perceives Him not, and He perceives all vision; and He (alone) is the All-Hearing and All-Seeing. (6:103)
In the words of ‘Ali:
He is Being but not through the phenomenon of coming into being. He exists but not from non-existence. He is with everything but not by physical nearness. He is different from everything but not by physical separation. He acts but without the accompaniment of movements and instruments. He is the One, only such that there is none with whom He keeps company or whom He misses in his absence.
God’s Attributes cannot be transferred or present in another, since they are infinite. One who cannot keep himself alive cannot give life to others. One who cannot protect his own power cannot govern the vast universe. The more one reflects, the clearer it becomes that all divine powers and attributes must exist in only in that one particular being.
Implications of Tawhid
Monotheists, those who believe in Tawhid, cannot be narrow-minded. Their belief in One God, Creator of the heavens and Earth, Master of the east and the west, and Sustainer of the universe, leads them to view everything as belonging to the same Lord, to Whom they belong as well. Thus they consider nothing as alien. Their sympathy, love, and service are not confined to any particular race, color, or group, and they come to understand the Prophetic saying: “O servants of God, be brethren!”
Monotheism produces the highest degree of self-respect and self-esteem in people. Monotheists know that only God has true power, can benefit or harm them, fulfill their needs, cause them to die, or wield authority and influence. This conviction makes them indifferent to and independent and fearless of all powers other than those of God. They never bow in homage to any of God’s creatures.
Monotheists, although humble and mild, never abase themselves by bowing before anyone or anything except God. They never aim at any advantage by their worship, even if that advange is Paradise. They seek only to please God and obtain His approval.
Monotheists, although naturally weak and powerless as human beings, become powerful enough through their Lord’s Power to resist the whole world. They are virtuous and altruistic, for their purpose is to gain God’s approval by working for His good pleasure. Boisterous pride of power and wealth can have no room in their hearts, for they know that whatever they possess is bestowed by God, and that God can take away as easily as He can give.
Monotheists know that the only way to success and salvation is to acquire a pure soul and righteous behavior. They have perfect faith in God, Who is above all need, related to none, absolutely just, and without partner in His exercise of Divine Power. Given this belief, they understand that they can succeed only through right living and just action, for no influence or underhanded activity can save them from ruin. However, some believe that someone has atoned for their sins; and others assert that they are God’s favorites and thus immune to punishment. Still others believe that their idols or saints will intercede with God on their behalf, and so make offerings to their deities in the belief that such bribes give them a license to do whatever they want. Such false beliefs keep them entangled in sin and evil, and their dependence on such deities cause them to neglect their need for spiritual purification and for living pure and good lives.
Monotheists do not become hopeless and disappointed. Their firm faith in God, Master of all treasures of Earth and the heavens, and Possessor of limitless grace and bounty and infinite power, imparts to their hearts extraordinary consolation, fills it with satisfaction, and keeps it filled with hope. In this world they might meet with rejection at all doors, nothing might serve their ends, and all means might desert them. But faith in and dependence on God, which never leave them, give them the strength to go on struggling. Such a profound confidence can come only from belief in the One God. Such a belief produces great determination, patient perseverance, and trust in God. When they decide to devote their resources to fulfilling the Divine Commands to secure God’s good pleasure and approval, they are sure that they have the Lord of the Universe’s support and backing.
Many polytheists and atheists, on the other hand, usually have small hearts and depend on limited powers. Thus their troubles and the resulting despair soon overwhelm them and, frequently, they commit suicide. Professor Joad’s testimony is explicit on this point:
For the first time in history there is coming to maturity a generation of men and women [in the West of the 1950s] who have no religion, and feel no need for one. They are content to ignore it. Also they are very unhappy, the suicide rate is abnormally high. (Phillip K. Hitti, History of the Arabs, 6th ed. (New York: St. Martin’s Press, 1956), 129.)
As opposed to this, a non-Muslim historian who is not sympathetic to Islam, writes the following about Tawhid:
In this uncompromising monotheism, with its simple, enthusiastic faith in the supreme rule of a transcendental being, lies the chief strength of Islam. Its adherents enjoy a consciousness of contentment and resignation unknown among followers of most creeds. Suicide is rare in Muslim lands. (The Present and Future of Religion, quoted by Sir Arnold Lunn, And Yet So New (London: Sheed and Ward, 1958), 228).
Monotheism inspires bravery, for it defeats the two factors that make people cowards: fear of death and love of safety, and the belief that someone other than God can somehow be bribed into postponing one’s death. Belief in the Islamic creedal statement that “there is no deity but God” purges the mind of these ideas. The first idea loses its influence when people realize that their lives, property, and everything else really belong to God, for this makes them willing to sacrifice whatever they have for God’s approval. The second idea is defeated when people realize that no weapon, person, or power can kill them, for only God has this power. No one can die before his or her appointed time, even if all of the world’s forces combined to do so. Nothing can bring death forward or push it backward even one instant. This firm belief in One God and dependence upon Him makes monotheists the bravest of people.
Monotheism creates an attitude of peace and contentment, purges the mind of subtle passions and jealousy, envy and greed, and prevents one from resorting to base and unfair means for achieving success. Monotheists understand that God holds their wealth; that He bestows honor, power, reputation, and authority as He wills and subjects them to His Will; and that their duty is only to endeavor and struggle fairly. They know that success and failure depend upon His Grace, for no power can block His Will to give or not to give. They also know that they must strive to deserve His Grace. But many of those who do not believe in God consider success and failure to be the result of their own efforts or by the help of earthly powers, and do not take God’s Grace and Will into consideration. Therefore they remain slaves to cupidity and envy, and use bribery, flattery, conspiracy, and other base and unfair means to achieve success.
Monotheism makes people obey and observe the Divine Law. Monotheists know that God is aware of everything, whether hidden or open, and is nearer to them than their jugular vein. If they sin in secret even under the cover of night, God knows it. He knows our unformed thoughts and intentions, even those of which we ourselves are unaware. We can hide things from people, but not from God. We can evade everyone, but not God’s grasp. The firmer our belief in this respect, the more observant we will be of His Commands. This is why the first and most important condition for being a Muslim is to have firm and sincere faith in God’s Oneness.
This is also the most important and fundamental principle of the Prophet’s teachings, as well as Islam’s bedrock and the mainspring of its power. All other beliefs, commands, and laws of Islam stand firm on this foundation. Lastly, we quote the remarks of Dr. Laura Veccia Vaglieri, a famous Italian Orientalist, concerning the universal spirit of Islamic monotheism:
The Prophet, with a voice which was inspired by a deep communion with his Maker, preached the purest monotheism to the worshippers of fetish and the followers of a corrupted Christianity and Judaism. He put himself in open conflict with those regressive tendencies of mankind which lead to the association of other beings with the Creator.
In order to lead men to a belief in one God, he did not delude them with happenings which deviate from the normal course of nature. Rather, he simply invited them, without asking them to leave the realm of reality, to consider the Universe and its laws. Being confident of the resultant belief in the one and indispensable God, he simply let men read in the book of life.
Thanks to Islam, paganism in its various forms was defeated. The concept of the Universe, the practices of religion, and the customs of social life were each liberated from all the monstrosities which had degraded them, and human minds were made free of prejudice. Man finally realized his dignity. (Vaglieri, Laura Veccia, Apologia dell Islamismo. Washington: American Fazl Mosque [1957]; trans.
Aldo Caselli, An Interpretation of Islam. Beirut: Laila Khalidy Memorial Foundation [1957?], 30-33.)
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rannadylin · 5 years ago
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OC Personality Test: Idalia
Tagged by @queen-scribbles and I’m passing on the tag to @aban-ataashi @serenbach86 @lunarowena @risualto!
Here are the rules:
1. Go to this website.
2. Choose an OC and take the test for them.
3. Put their stats here.
I’m doing this for Idalia. I think I had attempted an MBTI test for her earlier in the campaign and got INFP but have had my doubts as her story progressed, and this result seems quite a bit more accurate for her:
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Defender (ISFJ-T)
Mind -  This trait determines how we interact with our environment.
3% EXTRAVERTED | 97% INTROVERTED
Yep, no surprise there; I write/play mostly introverts but Dal is the shyest of them all by far! Even shyer than Xipil who also happens to be an ISFJ...
Energy - This trait shows where we direct our mental energy.
41% INTUITIVE | 59% OBSERVANT
Well, she did have plenty of high awareness rolls in the game. This is pretty close to the middle though.
Nature - This trait determines how we make decisions and cope with emotions.
21% THINKING | 79% FEELING
She’s one of those quiet ones with *very deep feelings* that no one else is likely to ever hear about, yep.
Tactics - This trait reflects our approach to work, planning and decision-making.
64% JUDGING | 36% PROSPECTING
I suspect she scored so high on J because she’s such a hard worker and diligent and also just not fond of plans changing in the middle of them and such. (Much as she loves Ona, spending a day with her highly spontaneous Waelite friend would probably wear Dal out!) She was kind of confused when the God Squad was first assigned to go spy on Waidwen but then immediately changed course to go look for Magran’s artifact; being Dal, however, she did not at all speak up about it but it bothered her. (It bothers her even more in retrospect once they found the artifact and it was used to blow up her god, I suppose.)
Identity - This trait underpins all others, showing how confident we are in our abilities and decisions.
28% ASSERTIVE | 72% TURBULENT
Honestly I don’t even know where that 28% came from, has Dal ever been assertive in her life? Well, maybe a little when she attempted that intimidation roll against Yarrow despite not being able to add her glow to it anymore. XD But then - if she’s committed to a course of action - like rescuing her brother - Dal does get a little more assertive to make sure she sticks to it.
Bonus, behind the cut: Some highlights of the ISFJ descriptions that definitely do fit Dal, though there are parts of them that aren’t quite her either, but hey, that’s how personality types go :-D
“Defenders are true altruists, meeting kindness with kindness-in-excess and engaging the work and people they believe in with enthusiasm and generosity.”
Yeeeep. That’s like the basic Idalia definition right there.
“Defenders are found in lines of work with a sense of history behind them, such as medicine, academics and charitable social work.”
Yeah I guess being a priest (pretty well educated for Gilded Vale standards, right?) with healing magic and then later being a cook in a soup kitchen kind of ticks all those boxes...
“Defender personalities (especially Turbulent ones) are often meticulous to the point of perfectionism, and though they procrastinate, they can always be relied on to get the job done on time. Defenders take their responsibilities personally, consistently going above and beyond, doing everything they can to exceed expectations and delight others, at work and at home.”
Hmmmm I hadn’t considered Dal being a perfectionist, but she’s certainly meticulous and reliable. 
“Naturally social, an odd quality for Introverts, Defenders utilize excellent memories not to retain data and trivia, but to remember people, and details about their lives.”
So the idea of Dal as “Naturally social” sounds kind of odd, but she does enjoy interacting one-on-one or in small groups with people she knows well enough. It’s just getting to know them that is so awkward.
Her strengths:
Supportive (”choosing empathy over judgment whenever possible“ yeah that’s pretty much how hearing from her parents the story of why they left her at the temple as a baby went...)
Reliable & Patient
Imaginative & Observant (she sees you blushing, Nona)
Enthusiastic (not a trait we’ve had much chance to see, I must write her a purpose in life to be enthusiastic about now!)
Loyal & Hard-working (”Defender personalities often form an emotional attachment to the ideas and organizations they’ve dedicated themselves to. Anything short of meeting their obligations with good, hard work fails their own expectations.“ yeah she definitely had an emotional attachment to her temple!)
Good Practical Skills (”The best part is, Defenders have the practical sense to actually do something with all this altruism. If mundane, routine tasks are what need to be done, Defenders can see the beauty and harmony that they create, because they know that it helps them to care for their friends, family, and anyone else who needs it.“ Dal is a big fan of mundane, routine tasks that do in fact help others! Like cooking!)
And her weaknesses:
Humble & Shy (yeah this is like Dal 101)
Take Things Too Personally (”Defenders have trouble separating personal and impersonal situations – any situation is still an interaction between two people, after all – and any negativity from conflict or criticism can carry over from their professional to their personal lives, and back again.“ Definitely applies to Yarrow being suspicious of her after Waidwen’s camp!)
Repress Their Feelings (”People with the Defender personality type are private and very sensitive, internalizing their feelings a great deal. Much in the way that Defenders protect others’ feelings, they must protect their own, and this lack of healthy emotional expression can lead to a lot of stress and frustration.“ Ha this also is like Dal 101)
Overload Themselves (“Their strong senses of duty and perfectionism combine with this aversion to emotional conflict to create a situation where it is far too easy for Defenders to overload themselves – or to be overloaded by others – as they struggle silently to meet everyone’s expectations, especially their own.” Aw, poor Dal!)
Reluctant to Change (She really hated leaving her temple!)
Too Altruistic (”Being such warm, good-natured people, Defenders are willing to let things slide, to believe that things will get better soon, to not burden others by accepting their offers of help, while their troubles mount unassisted.” Again, poor Dal!)
I must also quote the bit on Romantic Relationships for ISFJs, because uh...some of these elements may already be in my fic outline for her XD
“When it comes to romantic relationships, Defenders’ kindness grows into a joy that is only found in taking care of their family and home, in being there for emotional and practical support whenever it’s needed. Home is where the heart is for people with the Defender personality type, and in no other area of their lives do they strive with such dedication to create the harmony and beauty they wish to see in the world.
The trouble is, these are the benefits of an established long-term relationship, and Defenders’ unbearable shyness means it can take a long time to reach this point. Defenders are most attractive when they are simply being themselves in a comfortable environment such as work, where their natural flow shows this kindness and dedication. Relationships built on established familiarity are a warm prospect for Defenders – they take dating seriously and only enter into relationships that have a real chance of lasting a lifetime.“
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