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maxwell-grant · 4 months ago

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The Penguin: Episode 1 Breakdown

(Episode 2) (Episode 3) (Episode 4) (Episode 5) (Episode 6) (Episode 7) (Episode 8)

Thank you Lauren LeFranc, Mike Marino, Colin Farrell and Matt Reeves, we owe you the world for this, good God. It's finally here everyone and I've decided I'm gonna give each episode it's own post/breakdown of thoughts, because hahaha holy shit you guys this is beyond what I even dreamed of, and we're gonna be covering this for a while I think. I've worked out enough madness about this out of my system by talking with friends and I can't seem to be able to work on anything else till I get this done, so let's do it.

Bottom line: This isn't even just a must-watch if you like the Penguin or if you like The Batman, this is something I'd recommend to just about anyone in a heartbeat, something I can point to when people ask "why do you like The Penguin so much" and, instead of the elaborate nerd ramble that usually turns them off, I can just tell them to watch this. A friend of mine (who already loves Batman and digs the Penguin quite a bit) even told me as much, that he's starting to get why I love the character so much, and truly, is there a better feeling than this? Well, there is, and it's watching the show. Let's dig into this first episode:

Right upfront I'm gonna say that this doesn't really seem to be the Sopranos rip-off that people have been calling it before release, although there are definitely Sopranos comparisons to make here. I've spent the past months finally watching The Sopranos in order to get the comparison and definitely want to talk about those comparisons after I finish it (and this show ends). This thing aims to stand on it's own legs as a crime show and it's smashing out of the gate with an extremely promising first episode.

So this just casually opens with the reveal that all along, there was a second rich Gotham the whole time that was completely unaffected by everything we saw in the movie, already throwing a great twist on the events of that movie, and further reinforcing how fucking full of shit The Riddler was. All we saw Batman and the others deal with in the movie was just affecting the poorer parts of the city. All Eddie did was drown rats, and make life worse for the people already in the bottom, while never even getting close to targeting the systemic rot that ruined his life. He retains ideological worshippers in subways obsessed with the corruption of the city without doing anything to actually improve it, and because of him, the streets of Gotham are waterlogged shitholes while the rich Falcone suburbs are doing just fine, peachy even.

I said a while back that, in spite of having about 6 scenes/10 minutes of Penguin runtime, The Batman managed to squeeze impeccably controlled Penguin Trademark Scenes, and this show opens with the last one they didn't get to then: Penguin killing someone for making fun of him. In the movie, he tries doing that with Falcone and is beaten to the punch, so here he gets to actually do it to disastrous consequences.

Fucking adore that the inciting incident of the show is based on the fallout of Oswald killing someone for making fun of him. He pours his heart about the dream he lives his life for, his new boss makes fun of him for being an embarassment to their profession and then he does the most typical Penguin thing by killing him for it and laughing afterwards. And then he realizes how badly he fucked up, and then we get a fucking perfect titledrop with his musical theme, the exact moment we finish The Batman and enter The Penguin.

God it is so fucking cool how the make-up/lighting, the scar across his face, makes it look like he's got a genuine beak from certain angles, how they're able to achieve that effect without giving him a more literal beak for a nose. Everytime they talk about the character, Reeves and Farrell always emphasize how integral the make-up was to them figuring out what to do with Oz, how little they knew what to make of his six scenes until Marino created their monster and suddenly everything fell into place. Mike Marino fully deserves co-credit for the creation of Oz.

Pretty amusing that Victor, as designed to be Penguin's Robin, has exactly the same origin as Jason Todd, a poor street kid trying to steal the hubcaps off the Penguinmobile (I'm sure this bodes very well for his odds at survival), as is the way in which Oz goes on about his recruitment. He press-gangs this kid at gunpoint to help him bury a body arguing with himself and eventually the kid why shouldn't he just kill him to be safe, while trying to impress the kid with his car and air freshener and later that bullshit about "What, you think I hire any schmuck off the street?". From the tile drop onwards, he's doing everything on the fly while also spinning long-term plans set in motion as soon as he's on screen, he's taking this kid in out of sympathy and because he enjoys a power dynamic over someone weaker than him and because he very much needs someone to help him get stuff done. I'm extremely interested in exploring Penguin having a mentorship dynamic and I'm beyond curious as to what happens with Victor from this point onwards, but that poor kid is in for a terrible fucking time.

Found it very funny how much he half-asses the murder threat to Victor. Like it's his first time actually doing it and he's trying to be serious, but not too scary because he's already seeing himself in the poor kid with a stutter and wants the kid to think he's also a cool guy like he wants everyone to think he's a cool guy. I also think having Victor as the POV helps to sell moments like these, because it's still terrifying to him. Even as we follow their stories, these power players of Gotham are still big scary monsters to people caught in the dregs and Victor helps to reinforce that.

I enjoy Oz being friends with sex workers and drag queens off the street as much as I enjoy Oz being depicted as the kind of guy who deludes himself into thinking the prostitute he's with actually likes him, Lauren and Farrell launched into a bit about in on the podcast and I'm curious to see what's going on with him and Eve here.

Lots of perfect funny little character moments across the whole thing. Oz insulted by the idea of taking extra pickles off a poor kid's dirty mouth, but with zero hesitation whatsoever for picking jewelry off his boss' corpse. Dude is governed by principles even as he actively has to break them to survive.

"Technically it's plum." "He is the - or was the - new kingpin", "He's got nurse-like qualities." The show is not overtly trying to get you to find Penguin likeable as much as it wants you to find him engaging - making you think he's likeable is Colin Farrell's job and he's masterful at it, definitely a lot more matured within the character compared to the movie.

If there's anything in particular I'm thankful for regarding Gotham (well okay Gotham led directly to Telltale Penguin which was the basis for this one, so really I do have a lot more to be thankful with Gotham), it's the decision to give him a legit waddle via the broken foot, but the way they incorporate it here with the club foot does so much for him, so much as a modern day reinvention of The Penguin. Adds so much to why he's never been a serious candidate for mob leadership, why he kinda had to spend all his time in the Lounge, why he actually needs someone to help him run affairs, why he has such a gaping ego wound and is so murderously angry at people making fun of him / calling him a goddamn penguin, adds so much validation and so much darkness and nuance to Oswald's overwhelming anger and bitterness over how the world treats him (and so much power should he opt to reclaim it, in turn). It's the kind of thing that frankly feels like it should have always been part of the character, like what all the previous versions were itching closer to or trying to get at. Of course this is a guy gets called a penguin and he hates it badly enough to murder people over it, of course.

This gets to really highlight how differently Oz acts depending on who he's with. Traditionally, one of my favorite things about The Penguin, and one of the things that puts him above the other villains, is that, due to his position, he has to interact with a lot more people than the other Bat-villains. He has to manage a lot more relationships and dynamics, he has to play peacekeeper and puppetmaster. he's the only one in the United Underworld who's regularly interacting with and recruiting other villains to do business with. He's the guy who you pin stuff on like the Gangland Guardians, Team Penguin, doing betting pools with the Rogues taking cover in his Lounge while Joker War is happening, having to rig games to keep good standing with Maxie Zeus and Frenchy Blake in Batman Audio Adventures, and so on. So I greatly enjoy this beat here of him talking about how makes himself smaller before the Falcones, and that moment of him adjusting his outfit and practicing expressions in the mirror before meeting with them. How he contorts himself is present in all of his relationships, and retroactively adds to the way he carries himself in The Batman.

It seems that Oz is functionally regarded as the Paulie Walnuts of the Falcones: useful muscle, loyal for the most part and amusing to keep around, but largely an unstable self-serving dumb asskisser kept where he belongs, a liability if not kept on a short leash. I think the show does a good job of highlighting all the reasons why Oz has never been seriously regarded as a viable option for a boss, even putting aside his disability. He is a fundamentally embarassing person for these serious respectable criminals to be around and of course, the joke is ultimately on them..

Of course, there is only two people in the show who actually know what he's capable of, Francis Cobb and Sofia Falcone, said to be the central relationships defining the show moving forward. Both of them also a defining commonality with Oswald, being people who are looked down on and dehumanized, and characters who are underestimated until it's time to bear their fangs.

Extremely invested in where they're going with Sofia Falcone, Cristine Milioti's been killing it, and will in fact not stop killing it. What a perfect villain for Penguin they've set up with her, someone who has his Kryptonite: she does not underestimate him. Although we know in advance that Oz is going to live and be in the next movie, the question here isn't even so much who's going to win the gang war, and rather how much damage these two freaks will do to the city until Batman gets back. In many ways, Sofia represents the shape of things to come just as much as he does.

She is this embodiment of both the pristine unfathomable wealth and privilege and power that he both detests and strives for, as well as this brutal new breed of madness and violence attacking the streets that he has to survive against and make deals with (and is himself very much a part of, however he denies it). She is Falcone's legacy in every way that matters, both a Kingpin of Gotham whose existence creates the oppressive conditions under which a Batman or a Riddler are created, as well as the Arkham Rogue, the larger-than-life sadist with a tragic origin and a signature torture-murder method and an embarassing name for the papers.

Even the fact that she is The Hangman, and Carmine was defined around his penchant for brutally strangling women - regardless of whether or not she did the crimes that got her in Arkham, she's become this larger-than-life themed expression of a violent obsession in a way that sets her up as every bit the Batman villain that The Penguin is. The two champions of the two Gothams, duking it out in this new world The Batman and The Riddler made, The Penguin vs The Hangman.

I am so glad Lauren LeFranc made the call for binning Alberto in the first five minutes so the rest of the show can focus on Sofia and make a real character out of her in a way nobody's ever really done before, every step of the way so far LeFranc has been perfectly on the ball about where to take these characters and their conflict. And speaking of those,

I feel very confident in saying that this is the first time anyone's ever really had something worth doing with Oswald's mother as a character in her own right and not just a source of anguish for Penguin (Gotham was almost onto something with Gertrude, but not nearly enough). When it comes to Penguin origin stories, my favorite's always been the Pre-Crisis one, where he's poor and bullied but happy with his mom and birds until she dies and the government seizes everything he has, which doesn't necessarily involve her much. But here? Francine Cobb is a real character in what little time we get to know her, and what a character she is. We quickly understand the role she's playing in Oz's life, not just as his mom and person he loves and strives to protect, but the person who's sculpting him into the man he's going to become.

She is vulnerable and she does need meds and she's not quite all there, and Penguin's need to care for her is visible in other actions of his. But then they turn it around by showing how strong and demanding she is, how she is fiercely ambitious and pushing him to be something he would otherwise not be, how much she loves him and sees greatness in him. She knows he's a people pleaser, she knows how to push his buttons, and she wants him to be more, so of course he's going to be more, because he lives to please his mom.

Related to this is this absolute bullseye of a summation of The Penguin, that Lauren LeFranc delivered in the podcast: "Perhaps his greatest fear is that love is transactional. And that yet, everything he does, every decision he makes, is as if that's true. As if "love is transactional" is a truth he abides by". Oswald's conception of power is being loved and revered like Rex Calabrese, and the love he wants most in all the world is the one from his mother. So in turn this, and all extensions of it, drive him to greater and darker lengths.

He doesn't have that ambition quite down yet, it's his mom that does. She who's pushing him to take over the city and not just be a guy scraping by for survival. He's smart and ambitious and extremely good at slipping out of trouble, but she's pushing him to be the guy who will be taking the city by the horns because that's what he has to be for their sake. Her legacy to her son is nurturing him having that dog in him that will make him the supervillain who picks fights with Vengeance. She is the force that's turning Oswald into The Goddamn Penguin and I can't wait to see how she's developed.

Of course he reprimands Victor in that scene for lacking ambition, who do you think he gets it from?

Really love what they've done with Sal Maroni in here so far. I like adaptations that take these throwaway Batman backstory gangsters and make something out of them, in this case, with Clancy Brown lending his power and voice and reputation as The Grand Boss of Villainy to play the last Respectable Gangster of Gotham, this intimidating principled old tiger who's inversely proportional to how much of a petty and scummy piece of shit Carmine Falcone was. Extremely a guy I'd want to see playing a hand in the creation of Two-Face. Just as crucial is the fact that he is the one who gets the most effortlessly outplayed by Oz here, because this is The Penguin Show: no room for traditional or respectable gangsters anymore, their purpose is to be crapped all over by our wacko birdman.

There's a lot about this that re-contextualizes his behavior in The Batman and the one I'm gonna point out is: even though he can't be sure his plan didn't completely go to shit, he is still keeping his wits and not being terribly scared about being beaten up and tortured and staring down the scariest Falcone with a gun shoved in his throat. But he craps his pants at the sight of the Batmobile. He gets pain, he gets indignity, but he doesn't get Vengeance, what kind of sick freak would come up with the stuff that guy does. A gun in his mouth and Falcone torture is just Tuesday, but a car that wants to eat his soul is some psycho shit he's just not ready to deal with.

It is the delicious tasty fucking irony that Oswald thinks Vengeance is this weird freak who doesn't play or bend to any rules and is here to fuck up everything, just like the madman who flooded the city, and thinks of himself in turn as a justifiable guy standing for the respectable old-fashioned empathetic way of doing things, instead of the exact same thing that Riddler and Batman are. Only Sofia gets what he really is, the same thing as her, and that's why she is the arch-enemy / the biggest thing he's gotta defeat in life for now.

God, how fucking PERFECT it is that he gets caught and tortured because he, after stabbing out a man's eye and causing him to get run over by a schoolbus, stops to wave at the kids in that schoolbus while covered in blood. Just the Rex Calabrese of it all, the self-image, this guy who's both a mean nasty son of a bitch and also a real bleeding heart softie and in ways that ruin his life and allow him to slip and wriggle his way out of shit he has no right to, as demonstrated by the finale.

Thinking about Sofia chastizing Oz saying he thinks she is a toy to play with, while rattling off the ways in which she owns him and everything he has, all the ridiculous little accessories her daddy let him play him, and he in turn is a ridiculous little accessory for the family she is twisting until it breaks. Perfect fucking villain for him. Can't wait to see how badly these two are gonna burn Gotham.

I knew deep in my heart that all I wanted out of a Penguin show, the thing that I simply needed to have in it, was Penguin pulling a heist set-up in advance, and it fucking delivered. He doesn't even complain at Victor for being late, because if anything, getting captured and tortured while the car crashed was even better for him. No, he complains at Victor for not being sufficiently gruesome with the body. See, unlike other cowardly anti-hero reinventions of Bat-villains, the show never wants you to forget that Oz is a weird freak and a disgusting piece of shit, even if he is a very likeable and even aspirational one. Only by the most random stroke of fate it wasn't Victor that he fed to the wolves at that moment, that he sees himself in the kid isn't exactly ensuring that he's gonna make out of this in one piece.

Mr. Vengeance gets Nirvana, and Mr. Boniface gets Dolly Parton, perfect credits.

In conclusion: Out of everything they could have done following the thunderous success of The Batman and it's ensuing influence over the DCU, out of all the offers Reeves must have gotten to helm their new universe after delivering a megahit reinvention of their breadwinner blockbuster character, Matt Reeves went "Nah, I listened to my crew, and what we really want to do is 8 hours of television about the waddling freak who's in my movie for 10 minutes", and he and his crew deserve the world for that. I dreamed as a kid of getting to make a big Penguin story or show, a wild impossible idea that would never actually happen, and now it's here and it's better than anything I'd ever imagined.

I'm fit to burst with joy and riding a high of no longer having to hunt for scraps and washing away decades of put-downs for the character and enjoying a Penguin renaissance like one I never imagined happening. I am extremely not an unbiased reviewer here, this show rules and I've waited for it since I was a kid and it's here, drink it the fuck in cause it's only the beginning.

#dc comics #dc #the penguin #penguin #oswald cobblepot #oswald cobb #hbo #max #the penguin hbo #matt reeves #lauren lefranc #mike marino #colin farrell

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phoenixkaptain · 1 year ago

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My favourite part of Dick Grayson as a character is that he is never afraid of Bruce.

Like, Jason has his fear of disappointing him, Tim is a bit intimidated and has his hero worship, Damian fears that Bruce’ll kick him out the way he thinks Talia did, but Dick?

Dick is so unconcerned about Bruce at every possible moment. Even the earliest comics had Dick calling Bruce lame to his face. Dick works with Bruce and his partner for years and they understand each other on a deep level and Dick multiple times calls Bruce a fucking square.

Dick does not tell Bruce anything. He does not write home. If Bruce wasn’t in the room with him when Dick got called to go somewhere, I’m pretty sure Dick would not have informed Bruce that he was even leaving, let alone where he was going. The Teen Titans joined the Peace Corps, they were in Washington for at least a few days being trained, and Bruce finds out that Robin joined the Peace Corps from a newspaper. Dick does not tell him anything.

Dick and Bruce have such a fascinating relationship to me because Dick really doesn’t treat Bruce as his dad so much as he treats him like a particularly obnoxious older brother. Bruce treats Dick like his little baby bird who he cares about and doesn’t want to get hurt, but Dick is over there like “ugh, Bruce is so overdramatic” while he nearly drowns for the fifth time.

In early Teen Titans, there’s no question that Robin is physically the weakest member. Aqualad and Wonder Girl both have super strength, Kid Flash’s speed means that he doesn’t need super strength, but Robin is by far the easiest to capture. He gets caught very consistently through the early issues, albeit people can only catch him if they take him off guard, but it’s a lot easier to catch him off guard in early comics. Robin is the brains of the group, the others look to him for direction and depend on him to make plans that will work and panic when Robin gets nabbed because what will they do without Robin??

Robin gets captured a lot in early Batman comics too. Robin is the ultimate damsel, but he’s never really in very much distress? Like, Bruce and the Teen Titans are distressed, but Robin just looks maybe a bit surprised and bored. Robin never seems to take his own mortality into account when he does things, meanwhile literally everyone else does.

Dick only ever really gets annoyed with Bruce. He bever gets mad at his teammates, even when they question his ability. For the most part, Dick doesn’t even respond when they underestimate him to his face. I have no idea what’s going on in Dick’s head, but he isn’t a part of Aqualad and Kid Flash finding each other and him annoying in their first team ups and he never gets upset when they don’t believe in him.

Then, on the other hand, Bruce calls the music Dick is listening to noise, and Dick immediately is annoyed. Dick and Bruce having a turbulent relationship is more apparent later on in the comics, but Bruce is truly the only one in all the galaxies who gets under Dick’s skin as much as he does.

And it’s funny because fandom likes to paint Dick as bitter that Bruce didn’t adopt him, while I think Dick would have blown his top if Bruce even tried to adopt him. Dick had parents, he never views Bruce as a parental figure. Don’t get me wrong, Dick loves Bruce. Bruce does so much for Dick and Bruce is protective of him and Bruce is open about his affection, but Dick just doesn’t view him as his father.

I really think Dick views Bruce as more like a guard dog than a father. He talks so casually to Bruce, but he’s more formal to other adults. He complains about Bruce not trusting him, but doesn’t care when his teammates don’t trust him either. He views the rich billionaire vigilante who can take down a god in a fight as fucking lame.

Their relationship is amazing. They get along great. They’re a perfect duo, they work in tandem, they’re absolutely unstoppable together. If Bruce talks too much Dick will roll his eyes. They trust each other with their life. Dick is never telling Bruce anything. Bruce says “I guess I can spare Robin for a minute” and Dick is like “I would be perfectly content to never return home for the rest of my days.”

Of all the Robins, Dick is absolutely the one who respects Bruce the least. He loves the guy, but he just canNOT take him seriously.

(Do you think it was the time Bruce sent a box of bats to someone? Or the times Bruce gets captured and has to be rescued by his damsel side-kick? Or the way Bruce is like an overprotective mother, coming this close to reminding Robin to wash behind his ears? Or the way Bruce lets Robin say whatever he wants and never gets upset or offended or even hurt?

Or, maybe, Batman tripped on his cape once, and Dick just can never forget.)

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izunias-meme-hole · 4 months ago

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My Top 10 Batman Villains (Revamped)

(Because I currently need to get this off my chest, also a lot of these are just in my opinion)

Honorable Mention: Bane (Various) - Despite being misrepresented as a dumb brute and the fact that one of the best adaptations of him somehow gets his voice and nationality wrong, Bane is a villain with QUITE the deserving reputation. A walking tank with a luchador mask that has the brains to match his brawn.

Number 10. Scarecrow (Nolan Trilogy) - Crane wasn't a big villain in the grand scheme of the trilogy, but my god Cillian Murphy does a great job with the character. Like I wish that his supervillain outfit wasn't just a bag over his face, but Scarecrow manages to be quite the dangerous and cowardly loon with a mask of sanity in Batman Begins, an active member of the underworld in The Dark Knight, and the guy actively sending folks to their deaths in The Dark Knight Rises. Could we have had more of him? Yes. Did he use up his screen time well? Absolutely. Though his fear toxin could've been infinitely wilder.

Number 9. Mr. Freeze (BTAS: Heart of Ice) - I feel like this is a "to the surprise of absolutely nobody" moment, but this show reinvented Mr Freeze as a tragic and vengeful figure, and his debut was a perfect example of that.

Number 8. The Phantasm (BTAS) - The Phantasm is one of the best darker counterparts to Batman a lot of levels.

Number 7. Harley Quinn (BTAS) - The minor side villainess turned breakout character of the show. If anyone has seen B:TAS and then seen the rest of the media she's in, then you know why this is the best version of her. A good amount of things about the character being based around her actress (R.I.P Arleen Sorkin), her interactions with half the cast, Peak HarIvy content, the best representation of how bad her situation with her abusive ex was, and the perfect mixture between being a not-so-great-person and a precious lil' thing who deserves better.

Number 6. Ra's Al Ghul (Various) - Ra's Al Ghul may be a more international threat in comparison to the other antagonists I've listed, but he's undeniably one of Bruce's greatest foes. A very rich and powerful older man whose mission and persistence is similar to that of the caped crusader. Though unlike Batman, Ra's is willing to do more than just kill, he's willing to commit genocide, and he's willing to use other harsh and controlling methods in order to create his ideal world. Ra's is pretty much the the worst elements of Batman shoved into a singular self-righteous figure, and when done well he's easily one of the greats.

Number 5. Two-Face (Various) - Harvey Dent is a man split down the middle, a two-faced dude in more ways than one, and an irredeemably tragic figure no matter the perspective, though funnily enough he's always a victim of chance. He's a victim of the one worst possible outcome that had just as much of an opportunity to be the best possible outcome. It's part of the reason why he makes choices based off a literal coin flip. Chance put Dent in the circumstances to become a villain, and as he surrenders his entire being to chance as Two Face.

Number 4. Oswald "Penguin" Cobblepot (Various) - He's just a pathetic and horrible little man. No I'm serious. Oswald has had various portrayals over the years, but they can all be summed up at "pathetic and horrible little man wanting respect" and its great to see in action because despite the fact that he can be legit menacing and sometimes tragic, Oz is just inherently ridiculous on some level. It's great.

Number 3. Catwoman (Various) - Selina, Selina, Selina... she's cool. Sure she is a classic example of a "femme fatale," but aside from that Selina has always been a thrill seeker in some way or another. Be it as a jewel thief who proudly shows this, or an anti-hero that covers this part of herself with actual justifications, there is always an aspect of Selina that enjoys what she does when she puts that mask on. Mrs Kyle is enjoyable, idk what else to say.

Number 2. The Riddler (Various) - Genuinely impressive intelligence and creativity mixed with an ego as big as 3 Russias and as fragile as a glass bottle. That's what you're always bound to find in Riddler. Be it in the 60's show, BTAS, Batman Forever, The Arkham Series, Gotham, or The Batman, Riddler is a Redditor with the theatrics of a gameshow host and the resources of John Kramer.

Number 1. The Joker (Various) - Come on. We all knew this was gonna happen. The Joker is a crook who fell into a vat of chemicals and got a clownish makeover, who ended up becoming the nemesis of Batman. While the other rouges have their particular danger levels, they all have some type of cause they're fighting for or they're purely out to benefit themselves. Joker just causes chaos, death, and suffering, for the sake of his twisted sense of humor. He is willing to kill and ruin lives in the most creative way possible, so long as he finds it funny. Yet despite how twisted he is, this evil ass clown actually can be funny. Not only that, but he's the most effective contrast to Batman, even more than the other rouges. Batman is a frightening figure with a semi-demonic visage who suffered one bad day in his youth, yet he is a hero dedicated to the cause of justice and protecting the innocent citizens of Gotham City. Joker is a colorful figure with a big 'ol grin on his face and a jovial demeanor, yet he is perfectly okay with causing as much unwarranted harm to others for the sake of artistic chaos. Ultimately, the Clown Prince of Crime is a villain that's managed to last for decades, despite the ever marching clock, for these exact reasons.

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sardonic-sprite · 4 months ago

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Dad!Tim AU pt 6

Bc Q keeps randomly knocking down my door and screaming EIRA every few months/aff

Part 1

Within a week the family has worked together to craft an official statement for the press

If it weren't for goddamn ras tim would be advocating the "keep all reporters and paps the fuck away from my baby" approach, but as it is he just has to try to minimize damage

They hold a small press conference in Wayne tower, where they've got absolute top security around, and Bruce is right by Tim's side expressing unwavering support and 0 judgment as Tim states that he's stepping down from his position (not CEO he was in charge if like R&D since Bruce came back)... in order to care for his infant daughter

Dead silence. Wide-eyed stares

Tim takes a deep deep breath and says

"Her name is Eira Bahar Wayne. Her mother is my best friend *he's a bit choked up, because he's never going to get them to understand exactly what steph is, more than friend, other than lover, one of the most amazing women in the world* and if you will all take a moment now to turn off any flash or recording lights... they'll come out and say hello."

It was a calculated move, introducing Eira literally in Stephs arms. Tim's the famous one, no one will forget that he's a teen parent, that he claimed this kid. He's also eiras literal biological father, she has 23 chromosomes from him and sooner or later that's going to become apparent

She also has 23 chromosomes from a woman who is not steph.

There can't ve any doubt in the publics mind that steph carried and bore Eira, tho, or ras has an in. So Eira meets the world this way, so that the very first pictures to exist of her are *with her mother*, with Steph smiling so lovingly and holding her totally correct, eiras blanket and stephs dress even subtly matching and complimenting Tim's suit.

That's why he goes to meet them, arm around stephs back, and brushes eiras little Itty bitty curls that Tim thinks are from his mom, and they step forward as a unit

He thinks it works

Camera shutters are GOING OFF (thankfully no flash, he didn't want to go red robin on them) and several reporters are awwing and sighing

They ask a few questions, to Tim and to steph. They share facts - eiras birth height and weight, how long Tim and steph have known each other - but not stories - how long wad the birth, did you decide to have a child or happy accident?

Tim kind of wants to punch the guy who asked that but he forces a laugh and says it's rude to ask a lady such things

And then it's over and the next day 3 different newspapers have it as the headline story

Eira becomes a celebrity overnight. All of Gotham is SCREECHING about how adorable she is, how adorable their family is, how Tim is now a DILF (he blocks that tag) how lucky steph is to have Tim and eira

(There's other screeching too, about teen parents and recklessness and gold digging and debauchery and-- Babs keeps all that off Tim's and stephs feeds, monitoring it herself to ensure it never gets too loud)

Tumblr has an EIRA WAYNE PROTECTION SQUAD blog with over a hundred followers, #eiratheadorable is trending on Twitter, and they've recievied probably fifty handmade baby things in the past 2 months - blankets, hats, mittens, an empty scrapbook to fill, a nursery-appropriate superheroes painting

It's a little overwhelming but it's kind of nice

Tim and steoh make sure to go out and be seen every few weeks, together or apart, with eira on their hip, in a baby sling, in a stroller. For the most part people keep a respectful distance as they beam and coo and wave, and anyone who doesn't is quickly blocked by Cass or Damian, or dick when he's in town

(Jason isn't supposed to be alive and Bruce was found to be way too over protective. Tim AGREES but daaaad stop, you can't give away your batman voice bc one idiot had his flash on)

And exactly 3 months after eiras announcement, the perfect amount of time to cement her as part of the family, cute and tiny and lovable, an ideal in Gotham imagination...

Bruce and Talia announce their marriage and the date for a public, FANCY, vow-renewal, and take the people by STORM

Ta da?

#sprite said #sprite wrote #dad!tim au #eira wayne #tim drake #stephanie brown #enjoy ig

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zeroducks-2 · 1 year ago

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Okay Zero, who's the worst. Eobard or Joker?

Joker is the worst when it comes to Batman. He's Bruce's narrative foil and his raison d'être, he's the embodiment of everything Batman fights (and abhors) and in a meta sense, he's also queer, flamboyant and immoral while Batman is straight, serious and righteous.

However, Joker is also someone Bruce can't live without.

He's possibly the only one who truly, intimately understands Batman and why he does the things he does. And he doesn't even judge him! Joker is happy that Batman is Like This™, the good and the bad, wouldn't want to change him, accepts him exactly the way he is, whereas Bruce's loved ones will always have something to say about who Batman is and how he does what he does.

And for all his talk about how wrong everything Joker represents is, also the other way around is true. Bruce understands Joker (so much so that sometimes he's scared by this) and at this point in his "career" basically needs him to function.

Eobard is the worst when it comes to Barry. He's is so fast and so unhinged that when he's involved, it's an All Hands On Deck situation and all the other speedsters need to come and help stop him. He is the Reverse Flash, literally, but not just because of the Negative Speedforce - where Barry forgives, Eobard holds perennial grudges. Where Barry gives a second chance (and a third and fourth and a fifth and a sixth and a-), Eobard will declare you're his mortal enemy at the slightest offense. Where Barry is full of unconditional love, Eobard has no idea what does it even feel to love and be loved and cannot simply conceive it. Which is part of why Eobard wants to be Barry (he has a perfect life), but also wants to have him (no one should ever be close to Barry but Eobard himself), but also hates him so much: everyone loves Barry, but how can Barry possibly love everyone back?

For Eo love is a quantifiable thing, and it's quantified in the attention you give, and so it's impossible that Barry is sincere when he claims to love all the people he loves. It's just not possible. He must be lying.

But Eobard is also the person who knows Barry better than anyone else. Eo is the cause of a lot of his pain and turmoil, and recognizes this. Where other people belittle Barry's feelings and don't take his suffering seriously, urging him to just get over it, Eobard understands. Barry is the reason why he exists and in his distorted, psychotic way Eobard is devoted to him like to a divine being, and will never let him go, and will always feel for him what he can't feel for anyone else, because there isn't enough room in his heart for anyone but Barry.

If the question was "who can make more damage between Joker and Eobard", then obviously Eobard. If we don't count the meta stuff that applies only to Batman, Joker is just an unpredictable serial killer. Eobard is a chronomancer who can fuck your life up starting from when you weren't even born (in fact, he can make it so you never will be born at all), and change the literal course of time. Then there are also all the average speedforce abilities.

If the question was "who did more awful things between the two", then I'm going to have to use a meta answer and say Joker - Eobard doesn't appear in all that many DCU medias, while Joker is everywhere, and so going by numbers he did more damage because he had more chances to. But his reach is human, Eobard can erase an entire timeline if he so wishes, so it's two very different ballparks anyway.

#such is the nature of nemesis #when they're done properly #my asks #my meta

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rpking99 · 6 months ago

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So I've seen this stupid conversation pop up on the Twitter sludge space again and.... Wanna put my two pence in since I am me and a nerd.

Who should be the next Batman.

....

If you guys know me, you know my answer. So, first, I'm gonna go over the other options.

Dick Grayson

First Robin. Nightwing. Ass that claps and don't quit with a red head addiction he has no intention on quitten.

He's what many people out there see as being the natural next Batman. Because... Well... He was the first Robin. He's the oldest, he knew Bruce the longest. And he's been Batman a few times when Bruce is injured

All of that is true.

....

But let's take a step back for a moment

Dick was angry when he was Robin, that's the misconception many have. That Jason was the angry Robin when it was actually Dick. He was very similar to Bruce in a way, and that's part of how they got along so well. But they also kept each other at a distance, Bruce not wanting to replace Dick's parents while Dick didn't want Bruce to feel like he was pushing

You all know the story. The first kid is the one you make the most mistakes with

But those mistakes, ironically, helped Dick in the long run. Because in Dick coming to outright HATE Bruce at times, he realised... He didn't want to BE like Bruce

Hence his evolution to Nightwing. The smiling jokester. The high flipping, wise cracking, pain maker of the world. All of the skills and abilities of Batman, but with the inspiring hope of Superman

He HATES being Batman and it's what he doesn't WANT for himself. It's the bad end for him because it means he's been reduced back into that cave of darkness to continue the cycle he'd broken free of.

Jason Todd

Robin number 2, goes by Red Hood. The kid who thought being Robin gave him magic powers, he was that eager to help people. Only to fall into rage and darkness after his death and revival....

Yeah... Yeah

Here's the thing

If Jason never died? Then yes. He could TOTALLY become Batman. If he was still the rather cheerful, if at times a bit morally grey, Jason Todd who stole those tires from the BatMobile? He'd be raised right and the perfect one to take over the cowl. To be a brighter Batman who was STILL Batman.

But... After the lazerus pit? After the anger?

Even after all the healing... He's not the right kind of person to be Batman. And even he knows it. Because while it is not always his first option, he IS too eager to squeeze that trigger...

Tim Drake

Tim Tim. Tim. Timmy Tim Tim.

Timothy Jackson Drake-Wayne.

Tim.

Robin III, the one who's never REALLY growl out of the role, and the only one who WANTED the role. The second most common cry of who should take the cowl because he "wanted to be Robin" and he is "just if not a better detective than Batman"

...

Yes. He wanted to be ROBIN. That's the thing. ROBIN.

Multiple times we see futures where Tim becomes Robin. And guess what? All are terrible where he turns into a murderer and a psychopath!

Being Batman BREAKS Tim because he is TOO NICE of a person!

Robin is Tim as a hero. And if he graduates from it he either becomes the next commissioner, the next Luscious Fox or the new Oracle. No other option

Damian Wayne

The blood son. The hellspawn. The son of Talia. Blood of the demon and the detective.

The one who sees Batman as his BIRTHRIGHT.

...

And yeah. That's the issue there

Damian sees Batman as something that belongs to him. Or at least, he did. Way back when. Not something he had to earn, not something that held value. Just some property connected to his liniage

But his story since being introduced? Growing away from that. Learning how he doesn't NEED to be what was layed out for him. How his life is HIS choice for HIS path

Personally? The second Nightwing. That's what I see Damian as.

Also.... We've got future Damian is Batman stories and Gotham is literal hell on earth.

....

...

So, that's the BatBoys out the way. Who's left?

....

...

....

...

....

...

DA BOSS BITCH CASSANDRA CAIN!!!!!!!!

First off, she is a better fighter than Bruce is. Has been stated multiple times. Could beat all her siblings at the same time

Second, she's not AS good of a detective as Tim... Doesn't mean she's stupid. She's a good detective. Heck she's the one who helped solve the murder mystery that framed Bruce Wayne, when everyone else was ready to give up on him!

Third, she follows all of Batman's principals even harder than him. Her No Kill Rule is more ferocious, her loyalty is to the symbol and what it represents NOTHING else

Fourth, she WANTS IT. It's what she genuinely wants as it's what she sees her next step in life being. Her goal, her future, her desire. Her destiny.

And finally? Her hero identity is nothing but light to her dark world. Her siblings have their heroic lives marked by pain (Dick becoming a hero out of rage at the loss of his parents, Jason's death, Tim loosing... Almost everything as he became Robin, Damian with his legacy and the league/BatClan's personal battles) but... Cass? She killed someone at age 8 as Cassandra Cain. It had nothing to do with the Bat, with masks, with Gotham, with anything. It was purely independent trauma and so being a hero IS her light.

And that is why Cassandra Cain should be Batman after Bruce Wayne finally retires

#mun talks #nerd talks

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acaplaya-musings · 2 months ago

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A review of old VoicePlay Christmas music, part 1

(This was split just because there were like 20 songs total that I listened to, and I didn't want the post becoming overly long. Go find part 2 HERE)

So basically there's a fair few old (or at least older) covers of Christmas songs by VoicePlay that I've either never heard or just have only listened to once or twice and since have forgotten about them completely. And literally everywhere and everyone around me has decided that Christmas season has well and truly begun (plus we don't do Thanksgiving in Australia), so like, I might as well make this the first Christmas music I voluntarily listen to this season, and make a post about it! (I'm bored and my blog has been quiet anyway).

(Note: I know at least a few of these tracks have videos to go with, but some are just audio, and so I'm just gonna stick to the audio tracks for all of them to keep it fair)

Title: Winter Wonderland Released: 2004, on the Unstoppable EP Am I familiar with this song? Heck yeah, I love this song! Thoughts: Wow they've always had a fondness for the old-timey radio effect huh? (Not criticizing though). Oh hello new lyrics? Where did these come from? Also the audio track on Spotify has like two minutes of complete silence at the end of it, which is odd.

Overall, it's neat, but personally I'd stick with a more "classic" version (unless of course VoicePlay wanna do a new version this year? 👀)

Title: Deck The Halls Released: 2012, on the Peppermint Winter album Am I familiar with this song? Of course! Thoughts: Oh hey Tony! (I'm sure it's absolutely a coincedence that Earl got the first "don we now our gay apparel" line) Omg Geoff <3 (sounds a bit different to how he does now, but that was still a really nice vocal line). And would that be Layne doing his sleigh bells impression? Hello remix version! And old-timey radio effect again! Kinda)

Sure, I'd relisten to that one, definitely one for the (currently hypothetical) Christmas playlist. Just wish it was longer!

Title: Holiday Road Released: 2012, on the Peppermint Winter album Am I familiar with this song? Nope Thoughts: Ooh they did some fancy audio mixing effects on this one! (Like when you're wearing headphones sometimes you hear some parts in one ear and then other parts in the other ear!) Oh a switch to Sleigh Ride? Lit! (Ngl I typically prefer covers that do the "ring-a-ling-a-ling-a-ding-a-ling bit, but eh minor nitpick). Okay I just looked up "Holiday Road", and oh it's from the movie National Lampoon's Vacation, and based on the OG lyrics, this "Sleigh Ride" interspersal is VoicePlay's doing! And hi again Geoff <3

Yeah this one kinda slaps actually, definitely another one for the playlist!

Title: I'm Dreaming Of A White Christmas Released: 2012, on the Peppermint Winter album Am I familiar with this song? I mean duh Thoughts: Look, obviously I'm biased because of Geoff's solo cover, but I didn't wanna skip over this one regardless. I don't wanna be critical of this one, but basically Geoff has really honed his skills and improved a lot since 2012, and we love that for him... OH WAIT I FORGOT ABOUT THIS SPOKEN BIT *PFFT* (I've listened to this track maybe once or twice before in the past?) Yeah, one thing that hasn't changed much: Geoff's sense of humour! XD

Obviously Geoff's solo cover from 2022 still reigns supreme for me, but this one was good for a giggle if nothing else!

Title: Santa Claus Is Coming To Town (ft. Michael Andrew) Released: 2012, on the Peppermint Winter album Am I familiar with this song? Absolutely! Thoughts: I'm sorry are they singing "Batman's coming", or is it meant to be "fat man's coming"? Also I don't know who Michael Andrew is but damn he's got the perfect voice for this! Like Robbie Williams or Michael Buble or whatever - he's got a very "classic/vintage" singing voice here! Omg they're mixing in bits from The Man With A Bag? Yes! I love that song! (There's specifically a cover by Darren Criss and Adam Lambert that I love, but that's for a post on my other blog). And YES GEOFF YES! He sounded so "natural" on his vocal line here, like he wasn't trying too hard to reach for lower notes, and it was wonderful. Hey I don't know some of these lyrics from Santa Claus Is Coming To Town? Where (or perhaps whom) did they come from?

10/10, no notes, love this one, throw it on the playlist! (Which I've just made)

Title: Christmas Island Released: 2012, on the Peppermint Winter album Am I familiar with this song? Not in the slightest Thoughts: Unrelated to the song, but fun fact: the actual Christmas Island is an external territory of Australia! Oh hello trumpet(?) imitations? Whom??? Earl and someone else? Oh I'm so biased to Geoff lol rip. I hear him start singing and immediately I go from :) to :D!!!!!!

Sure, that was nice. Good as background music I guess, but I'm leaving it off the playlist

Title: Season's Greetings Released: 2012, on the Peppermint Winter album Am I familiar with this song? I don't think so? Idk we'll see when I listen to it Thoughts: Wait is this an original VoicePlay Christmas song? Because I tried looking it up and the only other songs with that title are a lot more recent - i.e. I can't find any previous version! Who wrote these lyrics then? Was it Geoff?

I mean I feel like this one has to go on the playlist just by pure virtue of the fact that I'm pretty sure it's original.

Title: Here Comes Santa Claus Released: 2012, on the Peppermint Winter album Am I familiar with this song? For sure! Thoughts: "Here comes Santa Claus, here comes Santa Claus - down Santa Claus layne!" They removed the word "right" and just made it a pause instead? Getting deja vu from Thriller ngl. Oh they're adding in bits of Up On The Housetop/Rooftop? Man VoicePlay be loving mashups in their Christmas covers, huh? (Not that I'm complaining - it honestly slaps). Oh go off Tony! I'm sorry Layne what was that beatboxing breakdown/changeup thing?

Hm, I'm not sure actually. I think I'll add it to the playlist, might as well, but eh

Title: Have A Holly Jolly Christmas Released: 2012, on the Peppermint Winter Album Am I familiar with this song? Definitely Thoughts: Hey Tony! :D Ooh whistling! Is that Tony as well? It's pretty good! (One thing I can't do whatsoever - I can't whistle! At least with finger clicks I can "cheat", but no such workaround for whistling, rip). "He's a rootin' tootin' Santa Claus" sorry what? Okay I just looked it up and apparently "Rootin Tootin Santa Claus" is an old song by Tennessee Ernie Ford! (Hey Geoff! I got a new Christmas song idea for ya!)

Sure, that can get a spot in the playlist - it's not often that I listen to stuff with Tony getting a lot of lead vocals, but it's nice!

Title: Left to Right Released: 2012, on the Peppermint Winter Album Am I familiar with this song? Not a dang clue what this is! Thoughts: Oh so that's why I don't know this song! It's a Hanukkah song! Honestly good for them - when two out of five of your group members are Jewish, you might as well do something for Hanukkah as well! (And thus it's fitting that Eli gets lead vocals for this one).

I don't feel right putting this song on my Christmas album, because of the obvious, but this is definitely a great song cover regardless!

Okay, that's part 1, now onto part 2!

#voiceplay #voiceplay christmas #acaplaya ramblings #I need one or more extra categorization tags

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simpforfandoms · 2 years ago

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Would they be a soldier, poet, or king?

masterlist

no one asked for this but I need to get this out of my head this is just the 4 most popular batboys but trust me when I say I got love for Duke, Luke, Cullen, etc. too.

Dick Grayson: probably a unpopular opinion but I think Dick would be soldier. The way I see it a soldier is someone who is filled with rage but not necessarily consumed by it. A soldier is someone who will continue fighting not because they want to, but because it’s all they’ve ever known. They crave that familiarity. There are many times in canon where we can see Dick’s anger but he doesn’t let it consume him. Yes there’s times where all he can feel is anger but he uses that to fight. Dick has been Robin since he was like 10. It’s all he really knows. He’s been a vigilante longer than he knew his parents. He knows he can stop at any time, but he doesn’t. He might not want to, but he feels that obligation. No matter how much he wants to stop he won’t. He dreams of a life where he can settle down, but he knows that will never happen. Dick will never stop fighting, and that’s what makes him a soldier.

Damian Wayne: A king is someone who has had their destiny written long before they were alive. A king is someone who was told to do things and they did. A king is someone who often wonders who they would be if they didn’t have all those responsibilities. Damian fits this perfectly. His fate was decided at a very young age. He was to be the heir of the Al Ghul throne. However, when he met Bruce his fate changed. He was now expected to be the next Batman. To be the perfect little robin. A little part of Damian expected it of himself to. Which is the saddest part. He feels that he’ll always have to be responsible for something because he doesn’t know who he is without it. The ideology that if he wasn’t fulfilling something for someone he wasn’t worth anything was installed to him at a very young age. He carried that thought with him everywhere. He is nothing without duty. So he continues his life trying to live up to everyone’s expectations never once trying to live for him. He only knows how to exist when he is needed. Damian Wayne is a king.

Jason Todd: Probably another unpopular opinion but Jason Todd is a poet. If we think in it in a more literal sense, his pain is literally for others entertainment. I mean poets often use their pain to create entertainment. Jason Todd’s death was and is still used as a punchline and entertainment. In a more metaphorical sense, Jason Todd needs his pain to mean something. He needs it to make a difference, because if it doesn’t what was it all for? That’s why he’s Red Hood. That’s why he doesn’t agree with Batman’s no kill rule. While all the pain and hurt are eating him up from the inside, Jason doesn’t want it to go away. Truth is, he loves the pain. He wants to live it. He wants to be reminded of all the trauma so he has a reason to do what he does. Because he has to have the pain mean something. He convinces himself that his pain is beautiful meaningful art. Which maybe it is.

Tim Drake: Maybe yet another unpopular opinion, but Tim is a soldier. He’s filled of rage. No one really knows why, but if I had to guess a large factor is probably due to his dads death. But the fury had been around since he was child. He does a good job of hiding it though. He burries it deep inside. He decided that his anger needed to be his biggest weapon. Anger is hideous if it righteous, so he used it to fight. He’s been fighting for as long as he can remember. He fought to become robin. He fought to be taken seriously. He fought his own voices in his head. Tim Drake is fighter. Like Dick, he wants to stop fighting but he can’t. It’s almost like it’s an addiction. It’s like he’s dependent on the fight. He won’t stop fighting til all his rage is released. Which lets be for real, might be a while.

#dick Grayson #Jason Todd #headcanon #Damian Wayne #dc comics #batfam #batman #red hood #nightwing #soldier poet king #tim drake #robin #dc

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celaenaeiln · 1 year ago

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you know whats even more insane tho? is that dick’s desire to be independent stems from the fact that he wants to be taken in as equal again by bruce—like yes he does feel restricted and hurt and suffocated by the insane amount of controlling that bruce did/do, but also hes equally as unhealthy as bruce bcs he sees that as bruce not considering him to be an equal anymore, that he doesnt trust him as much anylonger, etc. they are soooo unhealthy over each other bruh

Yes!!!!

Batman (1940) Issue #13

Perfect anon! This scene here is shows exactly what's going on with Dick's mentality.

On Bruce's side, he's really worried because "It isn't right for a kid like you to be chasing around and getting into fights!" and this is where Dick's mentality stems from - from the fact that Bruce lied to get Dick to drop it but he never clarified it. He made it out like Dick was the problem which I believe is the start of all his issues with Batman and why Dick's so overcompetent in everything- he feels like he has to prove himself.

After sobbing his heart about, Dick literally says "I'll run away and show him I can take care of my self!"

Bruce is so toxic sometimes. He blames Dick on incompetence because he's worried about moral issues of letting a child fight adult villains. wow.

In layman's terms, Dick seeks academic validation where he thinks his self-worth is tied to his academic achievements or in this case, how much of an equal he is to Batman.

Kori once said in a Titans comic -

Teen Titans and Outsiders Secret Files and Origins 2005

Considering how much of a free spirit Dick and Bruce consider Dick's robin, she's not quite right but she's right in that he thought his achievements would make Batman see him as an equal. When Bruce didn't treat him as such, Dick got really mad and started working harder and breaking his own records so Bruce would acknowldge him.

Meanwhile, Bruce was having a moral crisis and he's under the impression that if he kept pretending that Dick wasn't his equal, then Dick would eventually give up and quit. But this results in the paradox: Unstoppable force meets immovable object. However there is an answer to this riddle. When an unstoppable force meets an immovable object, the immovable object is moved because it lacks any force for holding it in place.

Hence, Dick continued being Robin until Dick got fed up with Bruce trying to cage him. At the beginning Dick had free reign but as he grew older, Bruce kept trying to press him under his cape but Dick wanted to be free. He didn't want to be a sidekick, he wanted to prove to Batman that he was equal and worthy of him.

So the ultimatum was set and as Dick's eighteenth birthday drew closer, so did Bruce's dread that Dick would leave him behind so he fired him first. He would rather haunt his mind in anger than be forgotten and left behind.

In summary I can say Dick's addiction to becoming Bruce's equal is the result of an intentional misunderstanding by Bruce to protect him only it didn't go the way Bruce planned.

However because Bruce let this feeling fester for so long that now, even when Bruce tells Dick that he surpassed him and means it, Dick will never believe it because in his mind he will always be that 8 year old boy that Bruce once said wasn't good enough.

Bruce certainly feels guilty for it but there's no doubt that a small part of him is satisfied that because of what he did, Dick will always come back to him in the end. Even if it's not out of willingness, it will be out of sheer need to prove Bruce wrong and he's okay with that no matter how bad it makes him feel.

And that's why these two are addicted to each other in the most unhealthiest ways possible.

#dick grayson #nightwing #bruce wayne #batman #robin dick grayson #koriand'r #starfire #cl anon asks #thanks for the ask!

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blindrapture · 4 months ago

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it's time for DJay's Review Corner!

I've seen almost all of Christopher Nolan's movies now. just missing Following and Insomnia, which are also relatively obscure.

I am absolutely fond of his stuff. I even like The Prestige now, only took me three attempts. hell, I *love* it. such a cool movie with compelling themes. Tenet? takes a couple views, but there is depth in there, it is very much a less interesting Homestuck but it's also a lot more *impressive* for managing to convey the time travel stuff on film. Interstellar, took a couple views but it's an incredible space film, I kinda wish it didn't start with like an hour of Earth stuff but I wish the same about 2001 so that's just Space Film Tradition, and *unlike* 2001 I think Interstellar goes to a goddamn perfect place of human drama. Oppenheimer is, like, Actually A Perfect Movie, you don't need me to tell you that, it completely surprised me and shattered my expectations of how a biopic can be. Inception is Inception. the Batman movies are a whole-ass three-part opera cycle in modern times. Memento is okay! I'll like it more if I watch it a few more times.

but I am here to mention Dunkirk, which I just finished watching.

I don't know how long to spend rambling about it, as I don't know truly how much I care.

Dunkirk was.. cool! there were elements of it that got me engaged and kept me so. frankly it was the best world war 1 movie I've ever seen.

....what? it's supposed to be world war 2? haha, no, it'd be one of the *worst* world war 2 movies if that were the case. it rendered the warfare abstract, divorcing all politics and ideology from the matter (the, y'know, reason any of this was happening), and just instead focused *exclusively* on the viscerality and horrors of being there on the beaches, in the sea, in the air, leveraging any drama for the sole sake of suspense. it was a War Is Hell movie. and *that's* world war *one*, that was the War Is Hell war. world war *two* was the Ideology Is Hell war, where the Allies literally *chose* to put themselves back into the visceral Hell of war *because* of the *context*, the *fact* that their enemy truly seriously actually *was* that bad and *needed* to be stopped. to make a movie about a part of world war 2, have hardly any paratext, have hardly any *dialogue*, and never once even show a human from the opposing side, effectively make Cloverfield But With Humans.... well, that's just pointless, a movie that is already obsolete before even being created.

well. Dunkirk was that movie!

it is entirely true that I was not its ideal audience. I went into this movie having no idea *what* "Dunkirk" was. I did not know *when* in the war this took place. I could gather that "Dunkirk" was a *place*, but then I had no idea what was significant that *happened* there to warrant it being a.. self-evident name. like, people can say something happened "at Dunkirk" and everyone around them instinctively knows, "ah yes! you are discussing something that happened during the noteworthy evacuation of Allied Forces from the beach at Dunkirk in 1940!" before I watched this movie, I would not have instinctively known that.

*after* watching this movie, I would not have instinctively known that.

I just fucking looked it up on Wikipedia after the film.

the film did not just *fail* to communicate this context, it *had no interest to begin with*. that is a really interesting choice. not a choice I appreciate.

like. the film did at least communicate some things.

this was a War thing, taking place on a beach near a French town (there were signs with the word "rue" on them). I knew it was world war 2 because of the technology. the fighting had basically *stopped*, with a small number of German stragglers taking potshots at the 400,000 Allied soldiers who had lost interest in fighting ("no, there were definitely a lot of German soldiers, the Allies were losing" yes I know that *now that I have read Wikipedia*, I am telling you what the film, in a vacuum, communicated to me). honestly, if I didn't already know that the English and French were fighting against the Germans, I wouldn't have been able to tell from this movie either, as the movie *insists* on referring to the enemy as... "The Enemy." without fail, other than one implied exception during a rare instance of drama an hour and a half in. and, as mentioned before, we never even *see* The Enemy in this movie, so I wouldn't have been able to tell from their accent or anything.

so. beach near French town. the Allies want to retreat. there is a boat, but just one boat isn't gonna be nearly enough, so everyone has to wait indefinitely, hoping more boats will show up. is there a protagonist? yes there is! what's his name? I couldn't tell you! what does he look like? I cannot tell him apart from any other character! everyone in this movie is a narrow-faced soft-spoken English young man with short black hair, covered in mud and wearing an identical brown coat! well, what about his voice? oh the protagonist hardly speaks! this is not a dialogue film.

but wait, there's two other plots! this was pretty cool, I like having more threads to follow, keeps me engaged. the beach stuff was just plot 1, which the movie tells us takes place "one week." ....what? so like.. one week into a fight, I guess. plot 2 is boat stuff, taking place "one day," except when it.. skips forward in time, which I did not realize until the boat stuff was literally caught up to the beach stuff, because IT'S A FUCKING BOAT ON OPEN WATER, AND WE NEVER SEE IT AT NIGHT, IT'S ONLY EVER FUCKING DAY, I assumed it was always *the same day!* but at least the three characters *here* are very distinct from each other. they are on a civilian boat, this dingy little private yacht or whatever, that's on the way to Dunkirk to help evacuate. or. honestly when I was watching, all I knew was they were gonna deliver some life jackets. there's a young man who looks very similar to the Beach Protagonist, but he's not because the eyes are slightly different, and he dies off-screen after getting injured very quickly in a series of events that really could have been better explained (involving rescuing an Allied soldier only to LOCK HIM UP and NOT LET HIM OUT EVEN WHEN TOLD TO). the other two make it to Dunkirk and successfully evacuate a bunch of soldiers.

then there's plot 3, subtitled "one hour" even though I *highly doubt* the timing of that. three spitfires, planes up in the sky! above the water, and only ever at daytime, so similar problem with gauging passage of time. except we have a big clue this time-- one of the planes' fuel gauge is broken! at "one hour" he has about 50 gallons of fuel left, and periodically we cut back and it seems like fuel is dropping steadily, 5 gallons every..... hour, maybe? but he manages to not run out of fuel until his storyline catches up with the Beach, a fucking week later. anyway, most of this plot is just the other two planes getting shot down (one of those pilots gets rescued by the Boat protagonists!), and then at the end of the movie the guy without fuel manages to save the day, shooting down more planes above the beach even while he's cruising without a running engine. it's a great moment. I love that guy.

so then the bulk of the actual plot is Beach Guy, and his buddy who.. literally looks identical to him. one of the two turns out to be French, and I *cannot* remember which of the two that was. that whole scene was incredible, it felt like the movie acknowledging its own problem, as the whole point was all these other soldiers being like "WAIT THAT GUY, the protagonist, HASN'T SAID A SINGLE WORD, AND THE ENEMY HAS SOMEHOW FOUND OUR HIDING SPOT, HOW DO WE KNOW THAT QUIET GUY ISN'T ACTUALLY GERMAN, A SPY???" and they point guns at him and TWO FUCKING MINUTES OF THIS goes by before protagonist opens his fucking mouth and says "I'm French!" my guy, you *need* to *speak!* this fucking MOVIE needs to fucking speak!!! that scene was the one, the first moment, possibly the only moment in the whole film, where the word "German" is ever said!!! which just made me even more aware of this movie's aversion to, or even *fear of*, communicating any fucking REASON or MEANS OF THE VIEWER BEING ABLE TO DISTINGUISH anything at all.

this wasn't a fucking world war 2 movie! this was just a fucking war movie! as said before, this was Cloverfield!! context is entirely absent, you'd have to go looking on the internet to read up on all the lore. and we never see the antagonist, we just follow the Exciting Suspenseful Will-He-Make-It Action of protagonists, like, existing in the vicinity of explosions, then swimming in the sea, and listening to nearby soldiers say how scared they are or how not-scared they are.

and I *do* think this would have made for a brilliant format for a WW1 movie! that war is traditionally seen as, y'know, *horrific*, soldiers dying to gases and new machines, the *viscerality* of it all! WW2 *needs* the context! we did finally get a *tiny* bit of context at the end of Dunkirk, we got the Churchill speech, and, dammit, that did make all this a little more impactful, that emphasized how all this visceral panic amounted to *one losing battle* and they were gonna need to be committed to potentially a lot more of that. I think we needed even an *excerpt* from that speech given to us *at the beginning* of the movie. even just as text on a black screen.

(hell! this movie *literally started with* text on a black screen! and all it fucking told me was "ooh boy, these French and English soldiers, they're gonna need a *miracle* to get out of this mess!" ......fucking thanks???? literally redundant, literally something the cinematography was going to communicate. the movie needed some text telling us something the cinematography alone *doesn't* communicate!!! aaaargh!!!)

am I making sense here???

god at least it was only 106 minutes! that's like.. the shortest Nolan movie ever. that's a damn surprise to me. maybe this movie *should have* been three hours, just to put in some damn dialogue.

Dunkirk was *all* visceral, no way *in* for people who don't know what's going on. and then it was *hard to distinguish characters or even Times, Whens, from each other*, so even that fucking viscerality stumbled and lost its grip on my brain.

what a fucking *mess*.

will probably get better if I watch it more. especially now that I went and looked up the context *myself*. but dammit, even if this first impression disappears entirely and I end up loving the movie later, I think the shit I'm talking about has some *value*. it has... well, context.

#Christopher Nolan #movies #forgot to mention in post: so the Evacuation in the movie did not actually feel so significant.#it felt like a plot! an emergent plot. in a movie.#it felt like a Thing that happened in a war once. a thing that in fact regularly happens in all wars.#and while watching this movie I did not get the impression the movie was going to be About the evacuation #the evacuation just.. happened.#and actually with remarkably *little* suspense. the only actual threat to The Big Evac was the planes.#which were shot down in one single scene by a plane with no fuel.#this movie felt like a bunch of And Then This Happened.

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artfromsaturn · 2 years ago

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Previous Dresses: Scarecrow | Riddler, Ra’s, Two-face, & Penguin

I think this will be the last of my Batman Villain Lolita Post for now, with a few of the more challenging villains. Again, feel free to make your own designs or use these in some way, the more the merrier. :D

A few thoughts underneath the read more + alt colors for Zsazs & Killer Moth

Black version for Zsazs to keep with his pants & classic Killer Moth:

Pyg: I think he’s one of the most Devianart Edgelord of the Batman villains, but his portrayal in Arkham Knight was done well enough that I warmed up to him. His plastic surgery nightmare face design is fun and the reactions of the victims & other people worked well, and showed Lazlo as terribly messed up instead of cool edgelordsona. Like, you know, a person who’d exist. Good job Batwriters.

Anyway I leaned towards the guro lolita + simple butcher look his comic and his game designs went for. There are extra additions of frills for both a more “doll”ish look and a touch of ita, since tacky feels part of his character. I didn’t want to just make a mask so I framed the hair as “pigtails” (what else?). I think some make up would add to the look to make the doll idea and the pig idea go farther. The pattern on the bottom of the skirt and boots is supposed to be those chain link people you can cut from a piece of paper that all hold hands, all perfect, like Pyg declares his dollitrons. I’m not sure how successful the transparent apron is but at the end oft the day I like it and that’s what counts.

Freeze: This design might lean too much towards literal costume and less into a more practical interpretation of the design, but I can’t help it, I like the Tron and glowy stuff aesthetic. Doing a retro futuristic lolita look was too fun of an idea to pass up. Not much has changed outside of converting it to a dress and turning the gauntlets into Miku bell sleeves. Snowflake earrings & delicate hair for Fries’ one true love & because they’re pretty.

Black Mask: I didn’t want to do all skulls since there’s enough dresses out there that do that, so I ended up with the mask part of his name. Made sure to give the rich colors of a mobster along with the swag of the suit as well. I think this one could be designed to be better and less busy (to fit in with the sleekness of Black Mask’s look more) but I wanted to go a bit over the top because why not, Lolita’s very theatrical.

Ventriloquist: Ok, this is a silly one. This is nice and casual lolita that doesn’t look too close to Wesker, but that’s because Wesker’s design is supposed to be intentionally plain and meek. Without the (badly drawn, sorry) Tommy gun purse & Scarface, I don’t think he’s recognizable. That’s not a bad thing - him and Scarface complement each other perfectly and make a memorable design. So I did my best to make a cute casual coord and add the few touches to make it look more like Wesker, & drew a teeny Scarface to show such. I wish I could have done more to reference Peyton Riley/the second Ventriloquist but all I could capture was the color since her design is also very simple.

Scarface himself only got colors that were closer to the outfit. I didn’t fancy him up too much since I think it would mess with the gangster look he has, which is already close to aristocrat fashion in the lolita world. He was lucky not to get extra frills at the ends of his sleeves!

Zsazs: another mainly Arkham Design. Most of mine are based partially on Arkham since that’s where I get most of my Batman fix, apologies! Anyway, I just liked the idea of a skin-flesh dress with the locks and buckles of the Arkham prisoner jacket/uniform. The bell sleeves already being on him made this a lot easier. I left a spot open where I was going to draw the bat symbol, but I decided against it.

Killer Moth: Top are his Arkham Asylum Artwork colors since I think they’re very nice. Went for a cute little 1960s inspired fur coat & bob, as his design is already psychedelic. Gave a fun flower crown to round out the colors & hold up some cute moth antenna.

Firefly: His The Batman design was the most unique to pull from and a good starting point to make an outfit. I took some inspiration of the warning stripes, junk around the belt, & burnt skin tights from the Arkham version too. *ellis voice* I ever tell you about the time Keith and I made fireworks? Otherwise, his design would have been much harder to work with considering it’s mostly a solid suit with not many features in his apperances. It would have had to be more abstract if I went for one of those.

But yeah his The Batman design and designs spinning off from it kick ass, so I did a sporty-ish look. I hope the bonnet doesn’t look too silly, I just wanted headware that differed the outfit from Killer Moth better.

Strange: Another design that had to go with the Arkham look. Strange is a classic villain with his face being one of his big, defining features. This is a great thing in character design, it just means it’s harder to make an outfit around it!

I love the classic mad scientist look so I didn’t stray too far from it, it looks fun medical Lolita already. All I really did was add the medical book brain pattern (thank you British Library) + little bats, because of course he’d have bats on his brain. It’s also a nod to his habit of Batman Cosplay & impersonation.

A few people I thought of but didn’t make dresses for:

Joker - He’s fabulous, I just didn’t feel jokery & wanted to focus on others more.

Catwoman, Harley, & Ivy - All three ladies have so many designs it’s hard to choose. They have so much more freedom with their designs than most of the male crooks. I’d have to make like... 4+ outfits for each just like I did with Scarecrow if I was to ever be satisifed. ;w;

Mad Hatter, White Rabbit - All the Alice themed supervillains have been done as Lolita Coords by Lolita fashion already since, well, Alice was a big inspiration for the fashion in general. I’d be down for them but I just felt bad because I couldn’t think of how to separate them from others as well as I could, like how I made Black Mask’s design more elaborate as to make sure the themes and connections to the villain was clear rather than just a skull design.

Killer Croc & Man-bat: Also hard to differ between a general animal-themed coord and them.

Thanks, hope you guys are enjoying your new year so far. :D

#batman villains #batman fanart #batman #mr. freeze #batman arkham series #arkhamverse #lolita #hugo strange #killer moth #firefly #zsazs #arnold wesker

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roseworth · 6 months ago

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not the other anon but having physical training from birth does make a difference though, which is why damian would probably pull ahead at some point. dick being from the circus isn't the same as combat training but still an advantage + dick has more training.

twenty years as a vigilante and being actually in the community with people to train with and fight alongside VS the six? years of training jason's had? (i'm thinking three bd and three ad) and dick having an actual community probably helped + the whole child acrobat thing as said before. though to be fair he has had injuries that should have taken him out. but jason literally died on the other hand

fair point! i think that dick def has an advantage just from being a vigilante since he was 9 or whatever and perfect all the skills he has. also as someone who knows nothing about fighting or acrobatics, i wonder if the skills actually translate ykwim ? like im sure that being an acrobat was useful, but there also arent many moves that can directly translate to fighting, not to mention that in something like acrobatics you have to be entirely focused on your own body, whereas with fighting you have to be mostly focused on what the people around you are doing because you also have to defend from the attacks theyre dealing out. idk thats beside the point but its on my mind bc as much as the comics say that a lot of his training came from his time as an acrobat, idk how much it would actually help . but anyways who cares bc he became robin when he was a kid so hes had plenty of time post-circus to develop fighting skills

i also am gonna say that while it also doesnt mean much, jason probably had some fighting experience pre-robin. not much given that he was 12 years old and had no formal training, but also given the fact that his first instinct upon being faced with batman was to hit him, i would assume that he had been in fights before that moment. again, that means nothing in terms of training, but also it means that hes not starting from scratch when he becomes robin

and i know ive been using the two interchangeably this entire time but right now im gonna differentiate between "more skilled" and "better fighter" since technically the original post was about who is more skilled. i think just from the years of experience he has, dick may be better at a lot of the fighting experience that they both have (though id argue that its not significantly better just bc even though its 6 years vs 20 years, jason did pretty much nothing in those 6 years (minus the part that he was dead for) except for training and perfecting the skills. but dick is still better) HOWEVER,,, jason has a wider variety of skills that he knows/perfected. he got trained in more things than dick did, so he just has more skills than dick does. dick is better at the things they both know, but jason knows more since he has direct training in more things than dick does which would give him an advantage

#sorry im returning to the 'acrobatics vs fighting' tangent #bc ive been writing a fic with cass where part of it uses ballet as a character study/motif #so ive been thinking about how ballet uses different skills than fighting and i think the same is true for acrobatics #in dance youre focusing on what your own body is doing and how youre moving #but when youre fighting you have to be focused on everyone else #whether thats defending from their attacks or finding an opening for your own #so i think that dance/acrobatics would be more about your own body while fighting is about being aware of the other person #someone could have perfected a bunch of moves but that doesnt mean anything in a fight if they dont know how to find the moment to use it #does that make sense #again. idk anything about fighting so maybe im wrong #but also i know everything and im never wrong

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sweetlikehoneystingslikeabee · 2 years ago

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Hi I literally goshed over how cute the dog ask was! So I came up with an idea for part 2 how would the riddlers react to ether there hench men or another members of the rouges gallery making there dog an Instagram account and said dog becoming Instagram famous with over 1,000 followers ps I luv your writing

"Riddler's with Dogs Pt 2" Riddler Party Ask

I'm glad! This is definitely in my Arena so I'm happy to give more! After this one I have a cat ask for riddlers too, so look forward to that. And thank you for the praise <3 Part one is here!

TW: None

Gotham

It was Victor. Victor would have done it for Penguin's dog Edward but then his boss would have gotten all pissy and it wasn't worth it. What's Edward (the human) going to do when he takes pictures of Oswald (the dog) for Insta? Riddle him to death? Try to outshoot the shooter? Please.

Edward and Oswald (the human) hang out often enough for Victor to sneak video and pictures of the little guy. He documents care videos of things Edward does for "records" when Oswald (the dog) has to be taken care of by others. Really, he's posting them on Instagram.

Once Edward finds out, he's frustrated and demands for Victor to take it all down since it's not even his dog! That is, until Victor is showing off the numbers Oswald (the dog) is doing. One of his most popular photos is a candid pic of the dog in Oswald (the human's) lap snoring when Edward was away one weekend.

....He can't deny it makes him a little happy to see the positive comments and likes on all these small, innocuous moments that otherwise would have been taken for granted. Victor can keep it up. For now. But there's definitely going to be high end glamor shots added via Edward himself.

60s

one of the younglings had to introduce him to the concept. Always on her tiny phone snapping photos of everything including Pascal. Then one day she's trying to explain what Instagram is. So it's like a digital photobook. That sounds adorable, but really, is it relevant to anything?

She then points to the number of followers and says that's the amount of people who want updates about Pascal and his antics. Edward brightens at the thought. Wait, there are comments? Oh, would you look at that, they love him!

Edward is like that happy, dorky uncle who now wants to be included on the photo taking. What's the perfect cinematic shot? The Instagram game turns to short videos, which then turns to tiktok shorts once he's shown how to do that... Pascal ends up getting a fancy riddler suit jacket of his own with the proceeds.

Imagine you're a hostage in 1960s Gotham. The Riddler has overtaken the event with his goons. There is a corgi in a question mark themed suit. One of the goons is filming the corgi shaking his little hips as he walks. Riddler poses a question for the audience at home. This is going to take hours if Batman doesn't arrive quickly.

BTAS

Query and Echo did it. They aren't a constant presence like they were at one time, but they still appreciate the occasional team up with their favorite man in green. And they fall in love with little Curie.

They tease him for trying to retire and "settle down" with his dog... As they take pictures and video with filters of her in her little fashion coat. Echo jokingly makes the Instagram at first as they're all a little tipsy on wine. Then both of them post pictures and videos of her with Edward in the background.

Then... Oh, shit. This got bigger than they ever planned. Sure, cute animals are popular but- Edward isn't mad when he finds out. In fact, he's amused and downright smug. Of course she's popular, look at her!

He ends up making a small video game with her as the star. Hey, don't blame him for making profit off of a popularity hype. It's a good game, brings in honest money and puts his name back on the market. Win-win in his opinion.

Zero Year

Despite being notorious for not playing well with others, he has to have some goons later on to help with the heavy lifting. One of them ended up being good with Minerva so Edward thought, what the hell, they could clean up after her when he's busy. What he didn't realize is the guy ended up taking photos and posted a few of them online. That curly tail is to die for!

Edward caught the man on his phone looking at photos of Minerva and found the account with less than 100 followers. Photos that were fine but not great. So he took over the account immediately.

He immediately decided to up Minerva's aesthetic game. High quality photos, photo shoots, cosplay- Yes, cosplay. The amount of followers bumps up past 1,000 within a couple weeks. It doesn't help he messed with the website algorithm. Just a little. Everyone WILL appreciate his dorky beautiful dog.

Arkham

The one time he decided to actually hire people instead of just robots to do his bidding, and they do this. First, one of them decided to show off his doggie grooming background and freshened him up. Unnecessary! Asimov was fine! Then he's getting messages from Harley of all people telling him his dog is online and famous.

He corners his henchpeople who shrug saying it was a fluke. Passing the time when they wait around for orders! People love the one-eyed little creature. And they love seeing Edward show rare soft moments towards him.

People call his dog ugly-cute and he's offended on behalf of Asimov. Asimov is perfectly fine the way he is. He's not ugly! Someone has to explain that's a good thing and he scoffs them off.

At some point he gets tired of having henchmen around in his space and boots them to the streets. Then he hacks into the account and changes the password and authentication so the account can stay up. If he remembers he'll throw videos up, usually of Asimov doing tricks showing how smart he is.

Telltale

Funny enough it's his buddy Catwoman who does it. Selina KNOWS an Instagram worthy pet when she sees it. And this puppy is CUTE. Plus she's probably one of the few people he'd allow in his space besides Bane and actually trust. Bane is also in several pictures with Columbo. He knows the show, it was one of the few things that would ever play on the one shitty, shitty TV in the prison he grew up in.

She's delighted to tell him once the account gets popular. He scoffs and doesn't believe it until she shows him the numbers.

He supposes people have good taste about the pain in his ass. Then the memes start where they compare the riddler's dog to the TV show detective he's named after. He says how ridiculous they are and how people should use their time better, but Selina catches him giving a sensible chuckle at them often.

2022

Let's be real, he started the Instagram account. He figured his followers could go see pictures of her when he's not streaming and she's in the background. What he didn't expect was a flurry of other followers that have no idea who is is, but want to see more of wiggly Ava. It's enough to make him anxious.

The pictures aren't the best or the quality of videos but she's just so delightful and when he opens up about her story, it garners even more views. There's something so genuine about the presentation.

He tries to get some overlap into his Riddler persona but it doesn't work out. Batman follows the Ava account. Just to make sure there aren't any secret messages there. That's it. Absolutely not because the dog is adorable.

#gotham riddler #btas riddler #60s riddler #arkham riddler #telltale riddler #zero year riddler #2022 riddler #foxwriting

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