#they had no reason to wait for her in the dark

[barcaatthemoon]

movie moment || alexia putellas x reader ||

You and Alexia try to have a special day out.

Everything was nearly perfect. Both you and Alexia managed to carve out some time in your schedules for a little day out together. You had been feeling a little neglected, but Alexia was quick to suggest treating you to a date. She had expected you to just want to go shopping before dinner, but you had surprised her by asking for a picnic date.

Alexia had taken painstaking measures to keep as much of the day a surprise to you as she could. You were woken up a bit earlier than usual for breakfast, which Alexia brought to you in bed after her run. The early wake up call was quickly made up for with lots of little kisses as Alexia helped you get ready for the day.

The morning was clear and sunny, not a cloud in sight as the two of you walked from shop to shop. It wasn't until you and Alexia were driving to the park that you saw the first cloud of the day. It wasn't a dark or gloomy one, so you had no reason to think that it'd start raining at any point during the day. Especially not the moment you and Alexia found yourselves relaxing on the picnic blanet.

"You look so pretty in that dress," Alexia mumbled as she pulled you in for a kiss. You were a little extra giggly due to the two glasses of wine that Alexia had brought along. The two of you had cycled through hundreds of bottles of wine before you finally found one that you liked. And now, Alexia made sure that it was always stocked up in the house.

"It's almost like you picked it out for today," you teased. Alexia pretended not to know what you were talking about as she stole a bite of food from your plate. You didn't know why Alexia had even bothered bringing two plates since she always seemed to prefer whatever you had. Despite being absolutely horrible about sharing most of the time, Alexia seemed to love it whenever it came to you.

"You could have worn a trash bag out, and I'd still be looking at you like this." Alexia had a point, and you knew it. Alexia had let you walk out of the house in some very questionable outfits before because in her eyes, you always looked absolutely beautiful. Luckily, you had gotten into the habit of sending your outfit of the day choices to some of your more honest teammates before you left the house for any reason. "You're just that beautiful."

"Someone is sappy today. Are you trying to butter me up for something?" you asked. Alexia seemed to clam up a bit at that, but you didn't get a chance to question her about it. Both you and Alexia jumped up at the feeling of rain pouring down onto your bodies. Alexia shoved as much as she could into the picnic basket while you balled up the blanket. The two of you raced to Alexia's car, laughing as you stumbled a little bit.

"Where the fuck did that come from?" Alexia grumbled. You were still laughing, but Alexia seemed a bit upset about the date being "ruined" by the rain. You placed the blanket in the trunk of her car, glancing at her over the top of her car as she waited by your door. You were lingering a bit, which very obviously confused Alexia quite a bit. You hated getting your hair and makeup ruined, so she assumed that you would have been rushing around to get inside. "I'm sorry that it started raining."

"Nothing was ruined, I had a great day today. You really went all out for today, and I appreciate it," you told her. Alexia forced herself to look up and away from you in a feeble attempt to hide the blush on her cheeks. You tilted her chin down and leaned forward to close the distance between your faces.

Kissing Alexia was, and would always be, one of your favorite things in the world. She was so gentle with you, but she didn't let any of that mask her passion for you. All of the things that Alexia had a hard time articulating to you came out in her kisses. You could feel her start to take your breath away, a welcomed suffocation of emotion with each kiss that you got to share like this. This wasn't a quick peck, far from anything that the two of you had shared in public before.

"Come on, let's get back," Alexia mumbled as she broke the kiss. You sat down in Alexia's car, knowing that she'd be going crazy later cleaning the seats. Alexia didn't seem bothered as she drove the two of you home. "Go get changed, and I'll bring your things inside."

"Meet me on the couch?" you asked her. Alexia nodded, leaning over to give you a quick kiss before she sent you inside. You changed out of your dress into a pair of spandex shorts and one of Alexia's old Barcelona sweatshirts. You could hear Alexia changing as you wiped your makeup off and put your hair up.

Alexia beat you to the couch, remote control already in her hand. You curled up with a blanket beside her, unsurprised when Alexia pulled you fully onto her lap instead. She laid back on the couch with you on top of her, silently waiting for you to give her the go-ahead to turn on an old game. You knew that it was part of Alexia's daily routine to watch an old game of hers or an upcoming opponent's, and you had no intention of stopping her today.

"What game were you thinking today?" you asked her. Alexia didn't answer you, instead putting on the first game where your national team had played against Spain with you on it. It was the first meeting of you and Alexia in any capacity, and you never could have imagined that you would end up here years later. "Are you okay?"

"I am absolutely perfect. I don't think that I've ever been happier than I am with you. When it clears up, I'll get you a proper picnic date, I promise. Until then, this feels like perfect weather to stay inside and cuddle up together," Alexia said. You could tell that she wanted to say more, but you didn't press. And when you caught Alexia fiddling with a ring that definitely wasn't meant for herself later, you'd keep your mouth shut until the time was right.

[honeyedclementine]

be more careful

sevika x f!reader, fluff, pre-s1, wound tending, assassin!reader, getting together (one shot, 2.1k words) ageless blogs, minors, and men dni

reply to be added to my tag list ⋆ ˚｡⋆୨୧˚

content warnings: violence, blood

when silco needed someone taken care of, there were two options he had. sevika or you. sevika was all brawn, there to knock teeth out and leave a bloody heap of anyone who dared to cross silco. this approach had its benefits—fear mongering, for one, a show of force, for another. you however, were sent when silco needed something done quickly and quietly. you lingered in the shadows of his enemies, daggers pressed close to your skin, waiting for the right moment to strike.

so rarely does anything go wrong with you—you're one of the best in the business for a reason. most of silco's enemies and other players in the lanes don't even know you exist. you're good at what you do and you take pride in it.

it's late and you're on another mission—one that should be quick, you'll be back at the last drop before sunrise to report to the boss that you've done exactly what he asked. you linger in an alleyway, having trailed your target for blocks. you keep your footfalls light, the dust barely even shifting as you leap from shadow to shadow.

your first target gets a little too close to the mouth of the alleyway and you grin. a hand is quick to cover his mouth, muffling his gasp as you drag him into your shadow, dagger finding his throat swiftly. you know just where to cut so he can't scream—he can't do much of anything but lie there and choke on his own blood. you watch for a moment, mesmerized, before delivering the final blow and silencing him all together. someone from silco's crew will be by to clean him up, but for now, you turn your attention to your other target—his companion.

your hands go in your pockets, dagger alongside it as you pull your hood up over your head, trailing him through the lanes. he hasn't even noticed the death of his guard—a fool, you think to yourself.

he turns a corner and you strike, an arm around his neck dragging him backwards. lithe as you were, strength was still something you honed within yourself. years of fighting built up skill and force within you. you go to drive your dagger into his chest, but he grabs your wrist, fighting back. you bring your knee up against the small of his back, causing him to grown as your hold on him tightens.

your dagger gets close to his eye, about to drive it in, when he pulls something out of his sleeve, twisting his arm. your knife pierces his eye just as his sinks into your gut. you gasp, twisting your knife and watching him fall still. staggering, you yank your dagger out as he falls to the ground, one hand clutching the knife still sticking out of your gut. it's been a long time since you've been injured in the field and it never fails to shock you to your core every time.

with one hand clutching your injury, you wipe the blood from your own weapon onto your sleeve, tucking it back into place and heading towards the last drop to stitch yourself up. you just hope distantly that thieram replaced the strong whiskey you like for times like these.

it's a short walk, but it feels longer with the blood seeping slowly through your shirt, staining the dark fabric and spilling around your fingertips. the last drop will be closed at this hour, but you've taken care of yourself more times than you can count. it comes with the job.

the last thing you expect is to see sevika sitting at the bar, an empty glass of what you already know is her favorite whiskey. the ice hasn't even melted yet. she turns her head as you enter, a cigarillo hanging from her lips. the smell of the smoke is familiar to you, practically synonymous with the image of the woman you have in your head.

you and sevika weren't necessarily friends, but you weren't enemies either. she respected your job and you respected hers. however, she was never much for conversation and neither were you. even so, you were always a little fascinated with her. where you were lithe, hidden muscles, she wore her strength on her sleeve. her scars were all in plain view—whether it be the hextech blue lines on her cheek or the metal arm she adorned, any glance at her would tell someone she had been through some shit. you kind of envied her ability to be intimidating right off the bat. people weren't usually scared of you until it was too late for them.

"shit, what happened to you?" she asks, eyebrows raising slightly as she pulls the cigarillo from her lips and drops it into the ashtray beside her.

"got stabbed," you shrug, wincing at the flare of pain that shoots through your stomach as you push behind the bar, grabbing a bottle of whiskey along with the small med kit that's kept there.

"are you seriously going to stitch that up yourself?" she asks, sounding almost impressed.

"unless you're offering," a sigh falls past your lips, desperately biting back a whimper as you pull your hand away from the wound.

surprisingly, sevika rises to her feet. "come on."

she reaches across the bar, grabbing the medkit from your hands and nodding over to one of the booths in the back of the bar. you groan, not knowing if this is something you want to deal with right now. you don't need a helping hand, you just need to stitch yourself up and get the fuck to bed. the loss of blood is making you tired. even so, fighting with sevika is never worth it. so, you grab the bottle of whiskey and follow her.

it isn't until she has her flesh hand against your stomach and her mechanical hand gripping the hilt of the knife that you realize she's never touched you before. the thought hits you with a spark of curiosity, quickly subsided by her pulling the weapon out with no warning.

"gods, fuck," you curse, eyes scrunching closed as she lifts your shirt up your stomach, moving one of your hands to keep the fabric held. her metal hand is cold against your own.

she just looks at you, nodding to the whiskey. you sigh and take a swig, letting it burn your throat for a moment before she takes the bottle from your hand, pouring some of the alcohol over the wound and the needle.

"ugh, don't waste the good stuff, thieram will kill me," you groan, struggling to keep your wits about you. for some reason, you never considered the fact that sevika might be warm. maybe it was the metal hand that led you to believe otherwise, but her hand splayed against your stomach—large enough that it covers much more of your flesh than you thought, you note with a slight flush you'll blame on the blood loss—is irrevocably warm. maybe you're just starting to lose it, the slow caress of death weaning all logic and reason from your brain, but when you look up at sevika, backlit by the dim lights of the last drop, you think she's beautiful.

"stop staring at me, i'm trying to focus," sevika grumbles. the slight shade of embarrassment in her voice is enough to distract you from her sticking the needle into your wounded flesh. you clench up, a hand reaching for her wrist as if to stop her. her metal hand comes to your shoulder, gentler than you thought it would be, pushing you back down so she can work. "it's okay. gods, i can't believe you were going to do this yourself. you're being such a baby."

you scoff, "i'd like to see what you look like getting stitched up. my hands are much more nimble, i barely feel it when i do it."

"i'm sure," is all she says in response. despite your pain, you can't help but watch the gentle way she sews your torn flesh back together. the wound itself isn't too large, just deep. the jury is still out on whether or not he hit anything vital or caused any internal bleeding, but that'll be a surprise for later. the fact that you were on your feet long enough to get home tells you that it's probably fine.

when she's done stitching you up, she ties a not and cuts the thread of sutures with her teeth, something you watch with wide eyes. you've never looked at sevika with anything akin to attraction before—well, of course, you noticed she was attractive, it was hard not to—but it's never felt like this. maybe you're delirious, or maybe you're still feeling the adrenaline of the mission, but something feels different. it doesn't help that this is the first time the two of you were properly alone together. maybe that was all it took.

she watches you watch her for a moment, the tension in the room palpable. "be more careful next time. that could've been a lot worse."

you expect her to get up and leave, but instead, she starts cleaning up the blood surrounding the wound. for some reason, you assumed her mechanical arm didn't have the propensity for kindness. after all, the only time you had seen her use it was when she was beating the shit out of someone. yet, here she is, wiping up your blood with a soft caress, careful to avoid the fresh sutures to avoid causing you any more pain than you're already in.

"thanks," you finally find the word, feeling utterly breathless as you watch her. you sit up slightly, feeling the way your stomach groans at the movement. you let your hand holding your shirt drop, but sevika's flesh hand remains beneath it, resting against your flesh. your heartbeat picks up and this time, you're not sure you can blame it on the adrenaline of a fight long ended. "you didn't have to do that."

"i was here," she says, something stilted in her tone. her eyes dart to your lips and you wonder if she's having the same ideas you're having—the quiet surprise of seeing someone in a new light. her hand doesn't move from your skin and you hope it never does. "and i didn't feel like watching you try and do it yourself."

"never knew you to be so charitable," you huff, moving a little bit closer to her. your thigh brushes against hers, the barest touch sending electricity to every nerve in your body. a shiver runs down your spine as her hand moves, crawling slowly beneath your shirt and resting around your waist, tugging you slightly closer. you can feel her warmth—her warmth against you, breath fanning slightly against your chin as you look up at her. "i can blame this on the blood loss, what's your excuse?"

you tilt your head and she offers a small smile—not mocking, like they usually are coming from her, just a small tug of the corner of her lips, almost a smirk but not quite. "you just looked to sad and pathetic, i thought—"

"yeah, yeah, excuses," you roll your eyes, pressing forward slightly and capturing her lips in a kiss. part of you expects her to push you away, to write off the moment of fierce chemistry as nothing, but she kisses you back.

the kiss starts off gentle, but soon grows into something more desperate, fierce in its nature. her hand grips your waist, careful to avoid your wound, tugging you closer until you just cave and settle onto her lap. your hand cups her face, tracing the scars on her cheek as you gasp, her tongue using the opportunity to slip past the seam of your lips, exploring the inside of your mouth.

desire pools deep in your stomach, hips grinding softly against hers. after a moment, though, pain flares through your wound and you yelp, pulling away from sevika and burying your head against her shoulder, a shaky breath falling from your lips. funny, you had almost forgotten about that.

sevika's hand rubs against the small of your back, so gentle you almost don't know what to do with it. her metal fingers run through your hair as she turns, whispering in your ear, "why don't we raincheck this until you're a bit more sturdy?"

you let out a weak chuckle, the exhaustion of the fight and the injury finally starting to catch up to you. "promise?"

she chuckles, "yeah, promise."

with that, she helps you up to the spare room above the last drop. you bite your tongue when you think about asking her to join, but you can see in her eyes that she will eventually. after all, a promise is a promise.

tag list: @puppyels @njm63522

[idkyetxoxo]

Jacaerys Velaryon - Before You Go

Summary - In their final moments together, Jace confesses his love for her just before stepping into the tempest of a storm, leaving her haunted by the foreboding promise that the day he declared his love was also the day he died.

Pairing - Jacaerys Velaryon x reader

Warnings - None

Word count - 2057

Masterlist for Jacaerys • House of the Dragon General Masterlist.

The day Jace told me he loved me was the day he died.

The sky was bruised with storm clouds, thick and heavy, rolling in from the sea. I could feel the storm in my bones, the chill of it seeping through the walls of my room. 

Rain splattered against the window in sharp bursts, a steady drumming that should have been soothing but only added to the knot of unease tightening in my chest.

Jace was coming today. He hadn't been by in weeks—his duties had kept him away, first at Dragonstone, then flying across the realm in his mother's service, dealing with alliances, and preparing for war. 

And now, for some reason, he had sent word that he needed to see me. Needed to talk.

But his tone... there had been something in his voice, something unfamiliar. As if he were carrying a weight too heavy for even him.

I stood by the window, watching the rain pour down, the dark clouds swirling ominously overhead. 

It wasn't just the storm outside that had me on edge. No, it was something deeper. A fear I couldn't name but could feel gnawing at me, hollowing me out from the inside. 

Every part of me was waiting for the moment when he would knock on the door and everything would change.

He'd said he had something to tell me. Something important. And my heart had lurched when I heard those words.

I had loved Jace for as long as I could remember—long before he knew it before even I knew it. 

It was the kind of love that grows quietly, sneaking up on you until you realize it's rooted so deep that you can't imagine a world without it. 

He was my friend first, and somehow, over the years, he had become my world.

But he was never really mine. He couldn't be. He was a prince, a dragon rider, the heir to the Iron Throne in a world that had been set aflame by war. 

A war I was terrified would take him from me.

I should have told him sooner. I should have said the words. Maybe then I wouldn't have felt this crushing weight in my chest, this regret that sat like lead inside me.

But I never said anything. I couldn't. I couldn't bring myself to burden him with how much I needed him. How much I feared the day he would leave and never return. 

So I kept it inside, where it twisted and coiled like a snake in my chest.

Now, with the storm raging outside, it felt like everything I had feared was crashing down at once.

I was still by the window when the knock came. Three soft raps, like he was hesitating. My heart stopped in my chest for a moment before it started again, hammering against my ribs. 

I stood frozen, unable to move, as if opening the door would seal my fate.

But I forced myself to cross the room, each step heavier than the last. 

When I opened the door, there he was. Jace stood in the doorway, his dark hair soaked from the rain, clinging to his forehead in damp waves. He looked... tired. 

Not just physically, though that was evident in the way his shoulders slumped under the weight of his sodden cloak. 

No, it was something deeper—his eyes. They had always been so bright, so full of life like he was holding a secret that made the world lighter for him. But now, they were dark, clouded with something I couldn't place.

"Jace," I whispered, barely able to say his name.

He offered a faint, almost broken smile. "Can I come in?"

I stepped aside, wordlessly, my throat too tight to speak. He moved past me, trailing droplets of water in his wake, and I shut the door behind him, shutting out the world for a moment.

He stood in the centre of the room, his hands at his sides, still dripping from the storm outside. He didn't seem to notice—or maybe he didn't care. 

There was something in the way he stood like he didn't know how to begin. And that scared me more than anything else. 

Jace was never at a loss for words. He always knew what to say, always had some quip or teasing remark to fill the silences. 

But now... now the silence between us stretched on, unbearable.

"I—" he started, then stopped, his brow furrowing as he stared at the floor. "I don't even know how to say this."

My heart was in my throat. "Just... say it," I managed my voice barely a whisper. "Please."

He looked up at me then, and the anguish in his eyes nearly undid me. I had never seen him look like that before. So raw. So vulnerable.

"I'm leaving," he said quietly, his voice thick. "Tomorrow."

The words hit me like a punch to the gut. "What do you mean?"

He sighed, running a hand through his wet hair, pushing it back from his face. "My mother's orders. I'm flying North, to treat with the Starks. She needs their allegiance, and... she trusts me to win them over."

The North. Winterfell. It was far, so far. And dangerous. 

With war looming, every corner of the realm felt unsafe, especially for someone like him—someone carrying the weight of the crown on his shoulders. 

I felt a cold dread curl in my stomach, the thought of him flying so far into the unknown, into danger.

"But... you'll be back, right?" I asked, my voice small, fragile, like I was a child begging for reassurance. "It's just a negotiation. You'll come back."

He hesitated. And in that hesitation, I felt the ground beneath me shift.

"I don't know," he said, his voice rough, pained. "I don't know what's waiting for me there. What's waiting for any of us."

The world felt like it was shrinking. Like everything around us was pressing in on me, suffocating me. My breath hitched, and I felt tears threaten to spill, but I forced them back. 

Not yet. I couldn't cry yet.

I took a step toward him, my hands trembling at my sides. "Jace, please. Don't talk like that. You'll be fine. You'll come back. You always come back."

He closed the distance between us in two quick strides, his hands gripping my arms, his touch both urgent and gentle. "I'm not sure I will this time."

His words cut through me, sharp and cold, like a blade sliding between my ribs. I couldn't breathe. 

"No," I whispered, shaking my head, trying to pull away from the truth that was pressing in on me from all sides. "No. Don't say that. You have to come back. You can't... you can't leave me."

He swallowed hard, his hands tightening on me like he was afraid to let go. "I wish I could stay," he said, his voice breaking. "Gods, I wish I could. But this is bigger than me. It's bigger than us."

"I don't care," I choked out, my tears burning at the edges of my vision. "I don't care about any of that. I care about you. I can't lose you, Jace. Please."

I hated how desperate I sounded, how weak. But I didn't care. I couldn't let him go. Not like this. Not without knowing if he'd ever return.

His thumb brushed against my cheek, wiping away a tear I hadn't realized had fallen. His touch was so gentle, so familiar, it broke me all over again. 

"I never wanted this for us," he whispered. "I never wanted to hurt you."

"Then don't," I begged. "Stay."

He had never looked so vulnerable before, standing there in front of me with the weight of the world bearing down on him. 

He wasn't just the boy I had fallen in love with anymore. He was a prince, the heir, and he was going to war. There was no escaping it. No stopping it.

He smiled then, a sad, broken smile that shattered what little resolve I had left. "I can't. You know I can't."

The silence between us was deafening, filled with all the things we couldn't say, all the things we were too afraid to admit.

Finally, I whispered, "Why are you telling me this now? Why now, Jace?"

His hand slipped from my cheek to my hand, and he held it tightly, his grip like a lifeline. "Because I can't go without telling you the truth."

"The truth?"

He nodded, his eyes searching mine as if trying to find the words. "I... I love you."

The room spun around me. My heart stopped, then started again, pounding so hard I thought it might burst. "What?"

"I love you," he repeated, his voice low, filled with so much emotion it felt like it might break him. "I've loved you for longer than I can remember. And I... I couldn't go without telling you. I couldn't leave without you knowing."

I stared at him, my mind reeling, trying to process his words. 

He loved me. He loved me. 

The words I had longed to hear for so long, the words I had been too afraid to hope for—now they were out in the open, and it felt like my heart was being ripped apart.

"Jace..." My voice cracked, my tears falling freely now. "Why are you saying this now? Why does this feel like goodbye?"

His eyes were shining, his own tears threatening to fall, but he blinked them back. "Because I don't know what's going to happen. I don't know if I'll ever get the chance to say it again. And I couldn't... I couldn't leave without you knowing how much you mean to me. How much you always have."

I couldn't breathe. It felt like the walls were closing in, the air too thick, too heavy to take in. 

He loved me. And now he was leaving. 

It felt like some kind of cruel joke like fate had decided to give me what I had always wanted, only to rip it away in the same breath.

"I love you too," I whispered, my voice barely audible over the sound of my heart breaking. "I've always loved you."

He pulled me into his arms then, holding me tightly, as if he could keep us both from falling apart. 

I buried my face in his chest, inhaling the familiar scent of him, the warmth of his body, and I clung to him, desperate to hold on to this moment, to make it last forever.

But even as I held him, I could feel him slipping away.

"I'll come back to you," he whispered, his voice thick with emotion. "I'll do everything I can to come back."

But we both knew the promise was hollow. The world was crumbling around us, and nothing was certain. Not anymore.

"I'm scared," I admitted, my voice shaking. "I'm so scared, Jace."

He kissed the top of my head, his lips lingering there for a moment before he whispered, "So am I."

We stayed like that for what felt like hours, holding each other in the dim light of the storm, the rain pounding against the windows, the world outside as chaotic as the storm inside us. 

Neither of us wanted to let go, but we both knew we couldn't stay in this moment forever.

Finally, Jace pulled back, his hands lingering on my arms before he let them fall to his sides. "I have to go," he said, his voice barely above a whisper.

I nodded, though it felt like I was breaking into a thousand pieces.

"I'll come back," he said again as if saying it enough times would make it true.

I couldn't hold back the sob that escaped my throat, a sound so broken it felt like it came from the depths of my soul. 

The weight of it all was crushing me, pressing down until I could barely stand. This was it—the moment I had dreaded for so long, the one where he walked away, where everything I feared became real. 

I reached out, my fingers brushing his, desperate for one last touch, one final moment to hold onto. 

But he was already slipping away, like sand through my fingers, and there was nothing I could do to stop it.

I watched him leave, watched him walk out the door and into the storm, I couldn't shake the feeling that I would never see him again.

The day Jace told me he loved me was the day he died.

A/n - I just finished reading 'if he had been with me' and I am distraught, like I cried on my train home and couldn't eat dinner type of distraught... so ofc I had to instead move my torment here and write something inspired by Autumn and Finny.

[wutheringwisteria]

Chapter 2

[ 1 ]

• • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • •

Curly's sleeping schedule was a mess.

It has been five days since he dropped the bomb, and the Tulpar crew couldn't be any more awkward.

Anya was relatively the same, but became more saddened as the days go by. Swansea was still his gruff self, albeit a lot more harsh towards the intern, Daisuke. Daisuke, on the other hand, kept his smile up.

He still talks to Jimmy, because he's his friend and it was literally impossible not to since he's his co-pilot. But you... no matter how many times he tried to bring himself to do it—he can't.

Those little talks you both guys had in the past now reduced to little to no communication at all. And it was killing him. Sure, he'd only get a simple sentence and a flat tone from you—hell, maybe even a scowl if he's unlucky.

But he didn't mind, not at all! Showing anger or anything makes you human, after all.

His heart feels heavy when he walks past your quarters. Tonight was another sleepless night, and no matter how many tosses snd turns he does, the warm embrace of sleep could not reach him.

So he goes out for a small stroll on the upper deck.

He finds himself in the main lobby. From there, he could see another figure sitting on the long couches, staring up at the fake moonlight of the large screen.

Anya.

Wordlessly, he sits down. Just a few meters away from her.

"You doing okay?" He asked, voice soft.

Her dark gaze looks back at him. After a moment's silence, she speaks up. "Yeah. Can't sleep."

"I know how that is. I just toss and turn, or stare at the ceiling all night." Curly chuckled, but it was brief.

"I actually kinda like the night time window screen," replied Anya. She looks back up. "If you can believe it. So I just come look at it sometimes. If you look really, really close, you can see there's a dead pixel in the upper right corner."

"That so?" Curly blinked. He looks up at the giant screen, squinting his eyes. "Hmmmmmm..."

"Nope. Don't see it."

"In the back of my mind, it's always there."

Curly huffs, leaning back against the couch. "Now I'll go bonkers looking for it. Cheers." His eyes slowly travels back to the screen, a small smile making its way to his face. "...I don't think it ruins the illusion, though. It's peaceful. But maybe I'm just used at looking at the bigger picture."

Anya doesn't tear her eyes away from the screen. "How many days of transport do we have left?"

"Ah, let's see. Off the top of my head... around 237 days. Just under—"

"Eight months." Anya finished the sentence for him. But her voice gets quieter. Curly remains silent as the nurse finally looks back at him. "Hey. Why do you think Pony Express put a lock on the medical room door but not in the sleeping quarters?" She suddenly asked.

"Hmm." Curly thinks. "I suppose for the same reason they put a lock in the cockpit. Safety."

Anya pursed her lips together, furrowing her eyebrows.

"I see."

🫧

"I'm pregnant."

Two words. Two simple words was all that it took for your whole body to freeze, still as stone. You turned around slowly, folding the corporate's letter Curly had nights prior and placing it inside your chest pocket. "...Repeat that?"

Anya visibly tenses up, her hand finding its way to grab her sleeve. "I'm... I'm pregnant—for about a month now." The words felt like bile, waiting to be vomited out. She could feel your stare piercing through her skull, and the slightest part of her wonders if telling you first was a mistake. A grave, and horrible mistake that she just had made.

"For a mo—..." you trailed off, making your disbelief known. For a moment, you just stay still, trying to process what Anya just revealed to you. A lot of questions ran in your mind, but all you could utter was a simple, "Who?" You couldn't picture anyone else besides one person, and by the looks of it, it seems like it wasn't consensual.

Which made you even more angry.

But you kept calm for Anya's sake. To show that you have been working on your anger management. "Anya," you call her name with a voice more leveled this time. "I need you to tell me. Who's the father?" Who is he so that I can kill him?

She hesitates, her dark eyes casted downwards and glistening with unshed tears. You take a step forward and she flinches. Sucking in a breath, you took another step and wrapped your arms around Anya and giving her a much needed hug.

Anya couldn't contain it anymore. She sobbed, burying her face in your chest and letting her tears soak your uniform. All while you try to console her by patting and rubbing circles on her back. The nurse was trembling, it was now clear to you that she had been a victim of sexual assault.

And her abuser roams free on the ship.

"Shh, shh, it's alright, it's okay, I got you..." you whispered, your other hand mindlessly running through her dark locks. You feel every tear that escapes her eyes, every breath she sucked in, and every time her body shudders that's followed along with a sob.

"Just... just tell me the name, and I'll go tell Curly about it," you shifted slightly, pulling away and cupping her face. Anya meets your eyes once more, her lips quivering as she brings a hand up to wipe away her tears.

"It's... it's Jimmy..."

🫧

Daisuke peeks his head into the main lobby. No other people present, that's good. He slowly steps inside and makes his way over to the kitchen.

He had been watching the cake making process since Curly's birthday. If he could just operate it, he would be able to snag one of those sweet, sweet, sweeteners.

"Okay, so I just press this... and then this..." he goes around, pressing some buttons and just completely winging it. Daisuke didn't even take a time of his day to look at the instructions that were literally plastered in front of him.

After a lot more pressing, the food dispenser dinged and Daisuke immediately went over to it. "Haha, it worked!" he cheered. The sweetener was there, in all of its glory. He could practically taste the sugary contents in his tongue.

But before he could even rip the pack open, he was spooked by a voice calling him. "Daisuke,"

The intern whips his head around, almost breaking his neck. He frantically hid the sweetener behind him, forcing a smile. "Oh, hey, Y/N! What's up?" he asked, trying to sound casual.

"Do you know where Jimmy is?" You asked without a second thought.

"Jimmy?" Daisuke tilts his head, trying to think about where he last saw the co-pilot. "I think he went looking for something down on the lower deck. I don't really remember."

You nodded. "Okay, thanks." You left the main lobby without another word, leaving Daisuke a little dumbfounded.

"Okay, now where was I?" Daisuke turned his attention back to opening the sugar packet, only to jump at another voice calling him.

"Boy," Swansea suddenly appeared, panting heavily and looking like he ran a hundred marathons. "Where is she? Where did Y/N go?"

"Y/N?" Daisuke blinked. "She went to the lower deck, I think. She was asking about Jimmy."

Swansea cursed under his breath. "Damn it," he wasn't in his prime anymore. Running would only exhaust him even further. "Look, kid. Y/N just took the axe without asking. And if I know her well, she might just do something that'll get us all into trouble."

"What do you mean?" asked Daisuke. "I don't think I understand, boss—"

"I mean that she's going to try and axe Jimbo in the face!" Swansea brings up a hand to wipe away the sweat on his forehead. "Be useful for once and help me catch her before things get outta hand!"

Now that set alarms inside Daisuke's head. "O-On it! Oh, I didn't know she was going to kill Jimmy!" He was feeling guilty because he had just endangered his superior's life. He pocketed the sweetener and immediately ran out of the room, with Swansea following behind sluggishly.

Meanwhile...

"Hey, Anya. Have you seen Y/N? I looked everywhere but I can't seem to find her." Curly asked upon entering the medical room, where Anya was stationed at her desk and was reading over some papers.

The nurse puts the papers down and looked up at Curly. "No, I don't think so. Maybe you should ask Swansea—"

A blood curdling scream cuts her off. Anya flinches as Curly whipped his head around at the direction of the sound. "...What the hell was that?"

For a moment, Anya's eyes began to widen. No, you couldn't possibly...?

Curly looked back at Anya with a serious expression. "I'll go check it out. You stay right here, okay?"

He didn't wait for her response as he immediately turned on his heel and sprinted out the medical room.

Anya remains stunned in her place, her mind running with countless thoughts. Now that she thinks about it, Curly seemed unaware of her... situation. It only means one thing, that you didn't tell him. And it also means that... you took matters into your own hands.

"Oh, god..." She stands up in a frantic manner, her body inclined to follow Curly. "Please, please don't be doing what I think you're doing, Y/N..."

• • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • •

Requested tags: @ninastasia0

[loulovingho]

tags: violence (gay bashing), homophobic slurs, blood, hurt/comfort, angst, healing, heading toward getting back together, happy-enough ending

(ao3 link or read below)

Like Fine China

“Hey, I need you to keep your eyes open for me, okay? You hear me? Try to keep your eyes open.”

He recognized that voice. The last time he'd heard it was just a few weeks ago, at the hospital. Who was it for though? Why was he at the hospital that time?

His brain felt like a jumbled mess. His body felt even worse.

He just wanted to sleep.

“Tommy! Tommy, can you hear me?”

Athena! That's who was speaking to him.

He opened his mouth, cracked one eye open. God, it hurt!

“I- I'm,” the words felt foreign as they escaped him. His voice didn't sound like his own. His mouth was dry, and held a bad taste.

Whiskey and... and metal.

Blood.

“Tommy, paramedics are on their way, okay? I just need you to stay with me until they get here.”

It was dark, but something was shining bright in his face.

“Flash... Flashlight,” he managed to get out, squeezing his eye back shut.

“Eyes- Eye open, Tommy. I'll get the flashlight out of your face, but I need to know you're with me.”

Wait. Had she said paramedics? They couldn't. He couldn't let them- let him see.

“No, no, no,” he mumbled out, shaking his head a couple times until a sharp pain shot through it. “No, h- he can't. I don't-”

“They're not on shift, Tommy.”

He tried to push himself up, away from where she hovered over him. He didn't manage to get very far before she placed a hand on his chest.

“Tommy, you cannot get up. I need you to stay still, and stay conscious. Those two things are your only jobs. You hear me?”

“I can't,” his words were so garbled. He coughed up the blood that'd been dripping down his throat.

I can't let him see.”

“Listen to me, Tommy!” Athena exclaimed, getting right in Tommy's face. He could barely see her, but he could feel her breath on his face. “They're not coming. Buck isn't coming; it'll be someone else.”

In the distance, he heard the sound of sirens. He didn't feel relief. Didn't feel much of anything at all. He was fading, fast. It took all his energy to force out one last sentence before he lost consciousness. “Don't... Don't tell him.”

*****

He just wanted to go out for a drink. Something a little stronger than craft beer.

It'd been two weeks since he broke up with Evan- no, Buck. He was Buck now.

It'd been two weeks since he broke up with Buck and the ache in his chest felt the same way it did the second he walked out of the loft.

He'd thought he was saving himself from future heartbreak, and maybe he was, but it didn't quite make it hurt any less.

Georgie's wasn't exactly a gay bar, but Georgie was gay and the bar itself became a sort of unofficial hang out for older people in the lgbtq+ community. No loud music and everyone left each other alone. A perfect place to decompress while still allowing yourself to be free.

After a couple of whiskey sours, and yeah, a pitcher of craft beer, Tommy was ready to go.

He waited outside, near the alleyway, for his Uber. He found himself going to his messages, hovering over Evan's name. He hadn't had the heart to change it to Buck yet.

He'd been wanting to text him since the breakup. Talk about it some more. Actually give a reason for why it- why he- fell apart so fast. How Buck's words triggered some terrible memories for him. How he suddenly realized there was no way he could be everything he thought Buck needed. Everything Buck deserved. Not to mention they hadn't even exchanged I love you's. And it was insane to think all of Tommy's things could fit in Buck's loft. Buck's things could fit in his house so much easier!

He clicked on Evan's name, started to type something out, erased it, started again, erased it again.

He was usually so aware of his surroundings. His time in the military did that to him. It did a lot of things to him actually, many of which he wasn't very thankful for. However, he prided himself on not being oblivious.

Tonight he was oblivious.

He didn't expect five men to jump him at once. He was a strong guy. Had taken on three men about fifteen years earlier. Did it with ease too.

But not five men. Not when one had a bat, and one had brass knuckles, and one was at least 6'5 and three hundred pounds. Not when they dragged him to the ground and into the alley before he had a chance to react. Screaming slurs at him as they took turns using his body as a punching bag.

He tried to fight. At one point, he was sure he kicked one of the guy's in the face. Heard him yell something like, “The fag broke my tooth!”

It only made things worse.

He wasn't sure when he first lost consciousness, but he knew they were still on top of him. Still laughing as they hit and kicked. He heard the sounds of someone spitting at some point. Felt wet on his face.

Then there was nothing.

Until someone stepped out from somewhere, and maybe they heard him groan? Maybe it was his Uber driver wondering where he was? Maybe it was an employee taking out the trash? He wasn't sure. He could barely hear someone telling him they were calling the police. There was a ringing in his ears, and his lungs felt like they were on fire. Someone said something about wheezing, barely breathing. He wondered what that was about.

Then there was Athena. Then nothing again.

*****

The next time Tommy opened his eyes, he was in a dimly lit hospital room. He was confused. Could barely see out of one eye and everything was blurry out of the other.

His head felt like it was stuffed with cotton, and maybe some tiny humans hitting his brain with hammers.

“Are you... awake awake or not really awake?”

The sound of a man's voice startled him. He couldn't hardly move, but he was able to focus his eyes across the room at the figure in the corner.

“Ed- Eddie?”

God, his voice sounded weird. Why did it sound like that? Like he'd spent the last 30 years smoking a pack a day.

“Yeah, I'm here.”

He sounded hesitant. Maybe they'd had this conversation before? If they had, Tommy certainly didn't remember it.

“Wha- Why?”

Eddie stepped closer. “You're in the hospital, Man.”

Tommy wanted to roll his eyes. No duh.

He settled for clearing his throat, which turned into a burning sensation running down his chest. “Why're you... here?” he tried. Hoped Eddie understood that much.

“Tommy-”

“I t- told Athena-” he had to pause to take a breath. “Told her not to tell.”

“Actually, you told Athena not to tell him. And she assumed, correctly, I'm sure, that him was Buck. So she called me instead.”

Tommy closed his eyes. “Why?”

“Why'd she call me? Oh, maybe because you don't have anyone listed as an emergency contact and you were nearly beat to death so she figured you might need someone to be here when you woke up.”

Tommy's jaw clenched at Eddie's harsh words.

Nearly beat to death.

He was nearly beat to death.

Eddie either noticed Tommy's heart rate going up on the monitor, or his eyes filling with tears, because he was right beside his bed in two strides. “Sorry,” he said. “Sorry, I- I'm kinda pissed, Man.”

“S'okay,” Tommy replied, swallowing hard. “I deserve it.”

Eddie looked taken aback. “No, I'm not- Tommy, I'm not mad at you. I'm mad at this,” he said, gesturing over Tommy's body. “I've never seen...” Eddie's voice trailed off and, through Tommy's own blurry vision, he could see that Eddie was close to crying.

“What'd they do to me?” Tommy asked, barely able to take in all his injuries. His entire body hurt, no part any worse or less than the other. He could feel something on every limb, but he couldn't quite move his head around enough to see what it was.

Eddie took a deep breath. He wiped at his eyes with his fingers, sniffling before getting started. “You've got bruising on about seventy-five percent of your body. You had surgery for a busted kneecap on your right knee. Your left arm has a fracture, and your right one has thirty stitches, I think. They broke a few ribs, so it's gonna hurt like hell when you take a deep breath or cough. Um, you had some internal bleeding, but they got that under control pretty fast. You've got a fracture in your cheek, which may cause some extra pain when you talk. You've got a few broken fingers too, and lost a couple fingernails during your- when you were defending yourself.”

“Hm,” Tommy hummed once Eddie was done. “S'that all?”

Eddie shook his head, rolling his eyes. “I'm sure I missed a couple things, actually, jackass.”

Tommy let out a laugh, which quickly turned into a groan. “Thanks for coming, Eddie,” he said, trying and failing at moving himself into a slightly more comfortable position. “You don't have to stay though. I'll be fine.”

Eddie stared at him incredulously. “You're kidding me.”

Tommy shifted his eyes back in Eddie's direction. “No, I- I'll be okay. I've got it. Just,” he paused to take a breath, “don't let Buck know, please.”

Eddie raised a finger toward Tommy. “Well, see, about that. You only told Athena not to tell him before, and-”

“You didn't.”

“-and see he was already at my place when I got the call, so-”

“Please tell me you didn't.”

“I have one with cream and one with sugar and- Oh my God, you're awake!” The sound of Buck's voice had Tommy's head twisting toward the door so quickly that a pain shot from the bottom of his back all the way to the top of his head. “Ow!” he yelped, clenching his teeth and tossing his head against the pillow, squeezing his eyes shut.

“Oh my God. Has the nurse come in yet? Have they checked his vitals? Eddie, you said he'd be out for a while! Tommy, do you feel any nausea? Do you remember who we are? The nurses said you might have-”

“Buck!” Eddie exclaimed. “Stop. He's okay.” He glanced over at Tommy, “I did forget to mention the head trauma.”

Tommy groaned, giving him a glare.

Eddie walked over to Buck and took the drink carrier from his hands. “I'll go find a nurse, you stay with him.”

Tommy wanted to yell out to Eddie to please not go, and also screw you, and maybe throw a couple hand gestures in there too. He stayed silent instead.

Buck looked Tommy up and down, hesitating slightly before walking up to the side of the bed. “So, you're-”

“I want to see myself,” Tommy blurted.

“Oh, um, I... Tommy, I don't. It might be better to wait.”

Tommy managed to move his head enough to look up at Buck. He could see the fear- no, the panic- in Buck's eyes.

“I wanna see," he repeated.

“Tommy-”

“Buck!” It took a lot of strength to get his name out so forcefully, and he didn't quite mean it to sound as angry as it did, but this wasn't Buck's decision. It was his. And he wanted to see what he looked like.

Buck pulled his phone from his back pocket, his hands shaking slightly as he pulled up the camera.

Slowly, he lifted the phone up to Tommy's face.

The second it registered that he was looking at himself, Tommy sucked in a breath. He grimaced as pain radiated through his chest but, when Buck went to move the camera away he stopped him. “No,” he said. “Just. Just wait.”

He knew his eyes were swollen by how out of focus his vision was, but he had no idea just how bad they looked. The right was worse than the left, but both were an angry mixture of black, purple, and green. The bruise on the left side of his face ran down his cheek to his jaw, circling underneath his chin like a half moon and fading into his facial hair. There were marks on his neck. Looked like someone's hand. He could understand Eddie's hesitancy on mentioning that. He didn't remember anyone gripping him there, which was probably for the best.

His forehead had more bruises, and cuts too. There was dried blood at his hairline, some stitched up cuts. His curly hair was nearly matted to his head, his scalp a brutal crimson.

“I tried to wash the blood out of your hair with a washcloth,” Buck explained anxiously, “but you have some lacerations on your scalp and I didn't want to bother them until they healed a little more.”

It was all so overwhelming. There was a whirring sound in his ears that made him feel dizzy. His eyes burned as they filled with tears that he didn't have the strength to wipe away.

“Okay,” he said, his voice uneven. He cleared his throat. “Can you- You can go, please. I don't... You can go.”

“Tommy-”

“Ev- Buck, I'm awake, I'm fine, I don't need anyone here.” He stared straight ahead, unable to look Buck in the eyes. “Please.”

“No.”

Tommy really didn't feel like dealing with stubborn Evan right now. “I don't-”

“I don't really care, Tommy. I'm not leaving you here. I've been at this damn hospital for three days now and I'm staying until you go home. I don't care what-”

He was cut off by the sound of footsteps behind him.

“Got the nurse,” Eddie said, an awkward smile on his face. The nurse, to her credit, ignored all the tension in the room.

“Let me get some hand sanitizer and gloves and I'll be right with you, Mr. Kinard.”

Buck sighed. He stepped even closer to Tommy. “I'm gonna go into the hall long enough for the nurse to check you out,” he said, maneuvering himself until he was halfway leaning over the bed, his arm on the other side of Tommy to prop himself up as he forced him to make eye contact. “I will be back in a few minutes. You have people who care about you, Tommy, whether you like it or not.”

With that said, Buck stood back up and left the room.

*****

Tommy spent a few more days in the hospital before he was released. There were only two times that Buck left long enough to get a shower and get a little rest in a real bed. Both of those times, he made sure Eddie was there the entire time.

Athena had come in to get his statement. Asked him all sorts of questions, most of which Tommy couldn't answer. He hadn't really gotten a good look at them. Only had very basic descriptions. He remembered the slurs they had hurled at him, knew they attacked because he was gay. He couldn't really figure out how they knew though. Besides being outside of that bar, it wasn't like Tommy ever did anything that screamed gay. Not that it mattered.

She'd been honest with him. There were no cameras at that part of the street, or in the alleyway. No one got a good description of the attackers, and the person who called the police only saw their shadows as they disappeared into the night. She'd do everything she could, but it wasn't likely they'd find these men. At least, not until they did this again.

Bobby stopped by once with some homemade chicken noodle soup. Buck had to feed him every bite, which made Tommy feel like he was about to cry the entire time, but he managed half a bowl before he had to stop. It was a million times better than anything the hospital had been feeding him, and he was glad to know Bobby had put some in his freezer to give Tommy when he got home.

Chim and Maddie came one evening. He'd been asleep when they got there, woke up some time during their visit, but he kept his eyes shut until they left.

Honestly, every time someone walked through the doors he felt more and more like running out of the hospital and finding a hole to fall into. Then, if he were lucky, someone would just shovel some dirt over him and let him rest.

These weren't his people. They were Buck's people. They didn't need to be there for him. They needed to hate him. They needed to laugh at his bruises and tell him he deserved every last one. They needed to yell at him for breaking Buck's heart to try and save his own.

That'd be a lot easier than this.

Thankfully, Hen and Karen didn't come by. They did send flowers though, and a card that explained both kids had strep throat and they didn't want to risk bringing that to the hospital. They'd come by Tommy's place once he was home.

He and Buck didn't talk about anything that needed to be talked about. All the unsent messages that had swirled through Tommy's mind didn't matter right now. It was like an unspoken rule between the two of them. Right now was not the time to try and fix whatever happened between them. Right now was about Tommy healing.

*****

As soon as they got Tommy home, Buck left Eddie with him so he could go to the pharmacy and pick up his medications. When he got back, Eddie headed out to go home and rest, promising to come back later with a variety of foods that would be easy on Tommy to eat.

The silence felt more... silent at Tommy's house. It was different now that they were at home instead of a hospital with people coming in and out at all times.

Tommy needed to do something, say something, to break the silence.

“I wasn't on a date,” he muttered out as Buck organized his pain meds on his nightstand.

Buck paused briefly before getting right back to it. “Didn't think you were.”

Tommy nodded. “Okay. I just, I don't know, didn't want you to think that.”

“You go to Georgie's when your brain is working overtime and you need it to quiet down.”

Tommy's eyebrows furrowed. “I didn't know I ever told you that.”

“You didn't,” Buck replied, handing Tommy his pills and a glass of water. “I just know you.”

Tommy swallowed the pills, wincing slightly. His throat still felt scratchy even a week later. “I don't know how they knew,” he said as Buck took the water from him and set it on his nightstand.

“Who knew what?”

“Those guys that-” he stopped. “I don't know how they knew I was gay.”

“A lot of queer people hang out at Georgie's,” Buck answered. “They probably took a guess.”

The thought of it made Tommy's stomach lurch. “I've spent most of my life trying to make sure people couldn't guess.”

Buck watched him for a moment quizzically. “Tommy, you're not... You don't blame yourself for this, do you? You know this wasn't your fault, right?”

Tommy avoided eye contact with Buck. He felt so small right now. “I know I didn't do anything to provoke them.”

“That doesn't really answer my question.”

“I just... I don't know what I could have done differently. I know I wasn't paying attention to my surroundings. I... I should probably go to a different bar, maybe. I don't know.”

“You can't be serious right now.”

“This is everything I feared my entire life, Buck,” Tommy admitted and, God, he wished he could shut up right now. The pain pills were starting to make him a little loose lipped, mixed with him truly being alone with Buck for the first time since they broke up, mixed with an undeniable fear every time he thought about that night, seemed to make it impossible to close his mouth. “I did everything to make sure nothing like this would ever happen to me and it still did. I keep thinking about it and wondering how it could have been different. How I could have been different.”

“Tommy, can you look at me?”

Slowly, Tommy looked up at Buck, his eyes shining with tears.

“This was not your fault. There's nothing you could or should have done differently. You cannot let those five men shove you back into a closet.”

“I-” Tommy cleared his throat. “They're not. It's just... a lot right now.”

“I get that, I- I do. You look tired. Why don't you rest for a bit, okay? I'll be here when you wake up.”

“Buck, you don't-”

“If you tell me I don't need to stay I will force feed you bone broth when you wake up.”

Tommy shivered. “Ugh! I hate bone broth.”

“I know you do.” Buck gently pulled a pillow out from under Tommy, allowing him to lie back easier. “Close your eyes, get some rest. I'm here when you need me.”

*****

They were bound to fight sometime. Tommy had honestly expected it to happen sooner. Buck had been staying with him for three weeks now, only gone when he was working a shift. Bobby had let him work part time for now, with Carla caring for him when Buck was gone.

They'd managed to get past the initial awkwardness. Buck rambled about any and every subject he could think of. They'd watch movies together on the couch, with Tommy falling asleep halfway through due to his pain meds.

Buck would get Tommy tucked in bed, then set himself up on Tommy's floor in case he was needed during the night. Tommy had tried to insist he use the spare room, but Buck wouldn't hear of it. He knew Tommy wouldn't call for him if he needed him through the night.

Then Tommy tried to suggest he sleep in the bed. But that was a no go because, “I kick, Tommy, you know this. Do you really want another knee surgery?”

They'd been focused on Tommy getting better. And they'd been ignoring the many, many elephants in the room.

So, a fight was expected.

What wasn't expected was for the fight to start because Tommy needed to pee.

Buck had seemed a bit more on edge today, but Tommy chalked that up to a shift that ran longer than expected.

Tommy had grabbed his crutches, which he'd just been able to start using to go short distances. He still didn't quite trust himself to use them at night, but he was working toward relying on them more and relying on people less.

When he stood, Buck immediately stood with him.

“I'm fine, Buck. I just need to go to the bathroom.”

“I'll help you there.”

“I'm really fine. I can get there by myself.”

Tommy was sure he had kept his tone neutral. He definitely didn't want an argument tonight. But, before he could even make it two steps, he heard Buck scoff. “Not surprised.”

And maybe it was the full bladder making him extra bitchy, but Tommy couldn't help turning around and asking, “What's that mean?”

Buck shrugged, crossing his arms over his chest. “Nothing.”

“Obviously it's not nothing. If it were nothing you wouldn't have said anything in the first place. What doesn't surprise you?”

“Just you, ya know, pushing people away. It's what you do.”

“Ha!” Tommy laughed out. “If I'm pushing people away then I really suck at it because you haven't left my house in three weeks. I just need to pee.”

“I'm not talking about right now. I'm talking about me telling you that I loved you and you breaking up with me.”

How in the hell did they end up here?

“You didn't tell me you loved me, Evan!” Tommy exclaimed, unbelievably confused. The sudden change in tone caused Buck to take a step back.

He was only thrown off for a second, quick with a retort. “Of course I did!”

“No, you absolutely did not! You asked me to move in with you, but you did not tell me you loved me.”

“Wait. You asked him to move in with you?” Eddie's voice had them glaring in his direction. Both had forgotten he was even there in the first place. He raised his hands. “Sorry.”

“Well, I- it was obviously implied,” Buck argued. “I wouldn't have asked you to move in if I didn't love you.”

“How the hell was I supposed to know that?! You were making it sound like I was some gay hero that sewed the first pride flag! I don't even go to pride events, Evan! All the colors are far too bright and the glitter never leaves you.”

“Glitter is really annoying,” Eddie agreed.

Tommy pointed a crutch at him. “Thank you.”

“I was not trying to make you out to be some gay hero, Tommy! I was telling you that I was comfortable with you. I was telling you I wanted to spend all my time with you. I wanted us to be together!”

“You didn't even think it through, Evan!” Tommy motioned around the room. “I own a home. It comes with two bedrooms that have doors, a garage, a back yard, and two and a half bathrooms. You asked me to move into your loft.”

Eddie shook his head. “Oh, Buck.”

Buck's eyes shot over to him. “You're still here why?”

Eddie stood from his spot on the couch, grabbing his coat. “Yeah, I'm going. Later.”

They both stayed silent until they heard the door open and close.

Buck opened his mouth, closed it, then opened it again. “This is our first fight, isn't it?”

Tommy nodded. “It is.”

“Took us long enough.”

Tommy managed a small smile. “Probably should have fought you that night, honestly.”

“I think I would have felt better if you did.”

“Me too.” Tommy took a deep breath. “I actually really do have to pee,” he said, shifting from one crutch to the other. “Can we pause this until I'm done?”

Buck nodded. “I'll be here.”

They didn't actually fight anymore after that. It was time for Tommy to take his meds, which made him tired, and Buck was tired himself from his shift. Tommy laid in bed, Buck snoring on the floor beside him, thinking it all over. All the things he still felt like he needed to say. The unfinished business they had between them.

The fight wasn't much, but it was something.

It was enough.

For now.

*****

“Are you sure you're good on your own?” Buck asked as Tommy limped behind him toward the door.

“I'm sure. I can successfully do everything on my own now with minimal to no pain.”

Buck turned back to him quickly, eyes wide. “But there's still pain?”

Tommy smiled. “I'm fine, Evan.”

Buck didn't look so sure. “Okay, I... Okay.” Instinctively, he moved forward to wrap Tommy in a hug. He stopped himself before he got too close, but Tommy responded by opening his arms.

Buck's posture relaxed as he gently wrapped his arms around Tommy, careful not to squeeze too tightly. "I was so worried about you," he whispered in the space between them.

"I know."

“You'll call the number I gave you?” he asked.

“I already did yesterday,” Tommy admitted. “When you went out to pick up dinner. My first session is next Monday.”

“Good. That's... That's good.”

“Thank you, Evan. For everything you've done for me. You didn't have to do that.”

Reluctantly, Buck pulled himself away from Tommy.

“Did you realize you've been calling me Evan since our fight a couple weeks ago?” he asked, lips upturning into a smile.

“Oh, um,” Tommy shifted on his feet, taking the pressure off his bad knee. “Sorry. Habit.”

“Don't be sorry. I hate when you call me Buck.”

“You do?”

“Yeah. I'll always- I wanna be Evan, to you.”

Tommy nodded, staring into Evan's eyes. “Okay. That's. I'd like that too.”

Buck continued toward the door, stopping again as soon as his hand touched the handle. He looked back. “Hey, Tommy?”

“Yeah?”

“Next time you think about texting me... hit send, okay?”

Tommy had never mentioned that before. But he'd caught Buck's near-texts to him too, so it didn't quite catch him off guard. “I'm kinda a mess, Evan. I'm not as comfortable as you think I am. I'm not... I'm still figuring things out.”

“That's okay. I am too. Text me anyway.”

“Even if I'm asking you out for a coffee? So we can talk? Really talk?”

“Date and time, I'll be there.” Buck smiled softly at him as he opened the door to leave. “I'll get your order right this time.”

[painted-flag]

OF FLOWERS AND DEATH - aemond targaryen

Chapter 19: The Scars of Betrayal

☾⋆⁺₊✧ dark elf!Aemond Targaryen x f!human!reader series. ✧₊⁺⋆☾ series masterlist. ☾⋆⁺₊✧ word count: 4.8k ✧₊⁺⋆☾ series warnings: 18+ depictions of violence/gore, eventual smut, warfare, sickness/disease, some moments of misogyny, and mentions of alcohol consumption. ☾⋆⁺₊✧ Tensions rise at the war camp, threatening to spill into the human kingdom.

There was a long moment of silence as the information you and Aegon fed Daeron and Helaena sunk in. It was hard to prove without the physical evidence, but you and Aegon were determined to convince them. You started from the very beginning, from your father going on his trip to Lake Rosemagne and then to the moment you had been stabbed. Aegon filled in bits and pieces, moments in the past when Cole had made suspicious and altogether horrible decisions while on the council; especially vicious and cruel ones that heightened during the Great War. 

Once finished, Daeron and Helaena were silent. They sat in their spots and glanced back and forth between the two of you as if waiting for one to confess it had all been a lie. 

“Ser Cole is a longstanding loyal member of the council and guard.” Daeron’s voice was not coated in argumentative tones; he was simply trying to reason.

“Daeron, what reason would I or Aegon have to lie about this?” You asked him. 

Daeron shrugged. “Nothing… but you have to understand I have known him for almost two millennia. He should be given the common decency of innocent until found guilty.” 

Aegon became visibly frustrated as his gaze went down to your side. While the wound was covered, it was not an easy sight to forget. His gaze seemed so harden while looking at it, deeply disturbed by the violence shown to his friend. 

“If he was so innocent, why was he the first person after Aemond who came into the laboratory? What business would he ever have on this side of the castle?” Aegon forced out as his teeth ground together. The two brothers entered a stare-off. You then glance towards Helaena who looked nearly done with their behaviour. She got out of her seat and left the curtained area. You wish she did not leave, but you understood that this was likely the last thing she wanted to witness. 

“Aegon, I’m not saying I don’t believe you. This is just…” Daeron stood up from sitting on the edge of the bed and paced a small section of the room with his arms crossed. You simply sat there, not wanting to interfere in their conversation but also growing irritable. Each second that passed was a further second that could be used to prevent the war from happening. They seemed to forget that you were human and that it was your people about to become targets. 

“It’s what, Daeron? It’s pretty damn simple. Cole’s always been a twat but-” Aegon had stepped forward to go toe to toe with his brother, but the curtain shuffled once again and Helaena entered the room. The brothers stopped their movements and turned to her. 

“The guards have been called. I am assuming you will need around twenty?” She questioned. 

“Twenty?” Daeron responded. 

“Well, if you’re going to arrest Cole, I assume he’ll resist.” Helaena shrugged and went back to where she had been sitting. Her hands reached out to the nearby table and picked up her embroidery work to begin stitching again. You were more thankful than ever for Helaena’s willingness to trust and believe you. Since that day you had helped her, she had acted like a sister. 

“We can argue about the schematics of everything later, but now we need to get him before things escalate any further,” You reasoned. Your hands gripped the blanket and shoved it off of your form as you moved to sit with your legs hanging off the edge. The movement caused you to grunt in pain, letting out sharp and quick breaths. 

“What in the seven hells are you doing?” Aegon spoke as he and Daeron moved to try and push you back into a resting position. Their hands gently pushed on your shoulders but you shrugged them off. 

You shook your head, “I’m going with you.” 

“Absolutely not!”

“No!” 

Both of them spoke at the same time. You sighed deeply. This petty squabbling was beginning to push you over the edge. Nothing mattered but stopping this war by proving to Aemond that his advisor orchestrated it all. Aemond. You were terrified about what would happen to him. 

You loved him, simply and truly. It was not something you would have admitted so openly to yourself, but your close encounter with death had you shift your priorities. That state of dreaming you had been in forced you to come to terms with it.  

You needed to get to him before things became worse. He survived the last war, but there was no guarantee he would survive this one – especially if his closest advisor was so volatile and corrupt. 

“The two of you can keep talking, but I won’t be listening. Now, will one of you help me up?” You snapped. You looked up at them with the intensity a mother would when scolding their children for being too rowdy. They shirked back at your tone and glare. 

“If we’re going to do this, we have to do it right,” Daeron spoke, “I’ll organize the retinue of knights, simple guards are not skilled enough for this.” Daeron had finally relented his position but still had an air of skepticism. 

Aegon reached out to help you stand, his hold reassuring but cautious, “I’ll join you in that.” 

“Are you sure you want to come?” Daeron asked you, “Your wound has only just started to heal and we cannot guarantee your safety should anything happen.” 

You broke from Aegon’s hold and walked to him, only near stumbling once. You stared him right in the eyes with determination, “The bastard tried to kill me. There is no way I will sit this out.” 

“Good!” Aegon interrupted and squeezed his brother's shoulder, “Haven’t had a good conflict in a few centuries.” Aegon then gripped the fabric of Daeron’s shirt and tugged him free from the room. You looked towards Helaena and the events before you became clear. The risk of this, of arresting a high-ranking member of the court – an incredibly skilled one with a longstanding reputation – was not going to be easy. 

Bone-chilling dread had sunk into your body. Your first encounter with Cole’s wrath nearly killed you and this next one was likely to be your last; you could feel it.

It was only after Aegon and Daeron had left that Helaena informed you of the full story when you had been incapacitated. To your knowledge, you had simply been stabbed. However, Helaena spoke about the knife being coated in taint. You had almost become faint at such a revelation, overcome with the feeling that you were going to die. However, you did nearly faint entirely when she said that the cure potion had worked. A few of the brews by some of the healers after you had been stabbed did not work, having gotten the process wrong. The one that Daeron made worked. He was closer than ever to your work and had understood fully the process you had outlined before Cole’s untimely attack. 

With only one pot made, it had been expressly used on you as a last resort to keep you from dying. There was not enough to give to others, but Daeron had instructed the other healers on how to brew it. It would be difficult to make in large batches, as the use of dark magic and energy draining took its toll on each elf that brewed it. As soon as the first batch was ready, they were instructed to administer it immediately to the most severe cases. 

You felt accomplished at that. All of your work, of your father's work, had succeeded. That was why, as Amara and Liriel got you dressed in elven armour for protection, you had accepted the likely possibility of this being your last day in the land of the living. Cole would not surrender without a fight and seeing you there as a walking testament to him finally being caught would be more than enough to do whatever possible to finish the job. 

Pieces of armour were attached to your body as Amara and Liriel silently worked. There was no need to speak, as the severity of the situation deeply settled on the shoulders of everyone. There was a good possibility that this would be unsuccessful. The unsettling feeling of war loomed close. Cole may have gotten what he wanted - a second chance at annihilating your kind.

You were no warrior, but the armour was purely for protection should anything go wrong.  

It was difficult to change into the new pieces that adorned you with the pain of your wound. Daeron had been correct about your fragile state. It had been a deep stab, penetrating multiple layers of your skin. Each movement, any strain, would cause scorching pain to spread out from your side. There had been a few times when Amara and Liriel had to stop for a moment. You only allowed yourself some milk of the poppy; any more and your mind would be too fuzzy. 

When you were done, you walked out of your room to see Aegon waiting for you. 

“Thank you, lovely ladies,” Aegon spoke to Amara and Liriel. His smile was strained. One part was an effort to make the situation feel lighter, the other was likely to reassure himself. 

Aegon then looked down the dimly lit hall before he stepped closer, “The castle is only minimally guarded. Go to Helaena’s apartments, it is the most secure. Should anything happen, the stationed guards will protect you both.” 

“We’ll be fine,” Amara said, “It's your lives that we’re worried about.” 

You moved forward to hug both of the elves. For you, it was a goodbye. You did not wish to tell anyone of your looming fear, for they would surely make a big deal of it. It was best to keep things as chipper as you could with the weight of war upon everyone. 

“Stay safe” Liriel whispered in your ear before releasing you from her hold. You sent them both a tight-lipped smile. Aegon began to walk down the hall and you followed closely after. 

Silence engulfed you during the walk towards the stables. Nothing but the pattering of your footsteps that echoed against the stone. You could smell the burning wood from the torches that lit up the way and you never thought you would be sad about leaving. This place had become your home. You longed to spend the rest of your days walking these halls, experiencing the parties and healing more elves. 

For the first time in your life, it felt right. Yet now, you were marching towards imminent death. 

Upon reaching the stables, you found comfort in the twenty guards that sat ready on their horses. Daeron was in front and wore elf armour like Aegon. You had never seen them in such prestigious pieces. For the first time since you came here, they truly looked like royalty. There was a set of steps next to one of the two horses that were positioned in the front by Daeron. Aegon helped you up the steps and to mount your horse. It was difficult and you wanted to pause multiple times due to the pain but chose not to. 

Your hands gripped the reins with intensity as your knuckles turned white. You sucked in short breaths, anything longer caused you to be in more pain. When both of you were ready to go, Daeron nodded his head to the elves lined up behind and called his horse to move. From what you were told, Aemond’s camp was only a few hours away from the capital. He wanted to invade at the closest border edge, which happened to be near the village you had lived in. 

The dark forest had slowly disappeared as your company got closer to the edge. The trees were younger and scraps of light filtered through the leaves. The air became warmer and beads of sweat had begun to trail down your neck. You dragged the back of your arm across your forehead to wipe away some of the gloss that coated your skin. None of this helped the bitter fever that had taken hold as your body fought away infection from the wound. 

A camp came into view that was settled amongst the young trees. Many soldiers stood around both in and out of armour and conversed around the camp. Others were standing guard on their makeshift perimeters. Various tents and sitting spaces were erected to accommodate the rising numbers of elves coming from all corners of the kingdom. 

As your group made its way to the buzzing camp, a squad of elves marched forward to block your horses. You could see that both Daeron and Aegon took great offence to this. 

“Let us pass,” Daeron did not want to cause tensions to rise and spoke with a gentle tone. There was no reason to confront them with anger over what could very well be a misunderstanding. 

“We cannot let you in, my prince.” The guard at the front of the group spoke. He wore the typical silver armour with green and gold embellishments – the elven kingdom colours. It was plated and complex, indicating a higher rank among the other soldiers. Slick, greasy black hair hung from his head in tiny ringlets.

“And why do you refuse the orders from your prince?” Aegon questioned. 

“We have orders from the general to not let anyone in,” The elf responded. You flinched just slightly at the mention of Cole. The horse you were on sensed your unease and began to dig its hooves into the ground as it swayed from side to side. 

“Well, we outrank the general, so best move to the side,” Aegon dismissed the elf with a wave, but he remained steadfast in his position. 

“We may let both of your graces in, but the human cannot pass.” His beady eyes pierced through you and the same intensity of hate you recognized in Coles's eyes was replicated in his. 

Daeron scoffed at his words, “Where we go, she goes.” 

“Then I am afraid none of you can enter. We have strict orders.” You knew his excuse was thin. Cole had likely feared you living or any of the brothers figuring out what he had done. You were just being used as a piece on the board. If you had not been here, they might have come up with another lie to prevent Daeron and Aegon from reaching Aemond. 

“That’s bullshit,” Aegon then turned to the twenty guards behind him and they got the message to be on guard, “You will let us through, now.” At this point, numerous members of the camp stood and watched, unsure of what to do. 

“We do not wish to escalate things further. It is best that you concede.” Daeron tried to reason. 

Aegon shared a look with you. His head moved almost imperceptively to gesture onwards while mouthing ‘go.’ Your heart began to thump quickly at the implication. The horse you had been on had been growing antsy and was likely ready to sprint off any second. One, two, and three calming breaths came in and out of your body. One hand rested on your wound and knew this was going to hurt. Your other hand tightened on the reins and in a split moment, you spurred the horse on. 

It lurched forward and swept past the men. You heard shouts from behind you but were unwilling to glance back. You had no idea where Aemond’s tent may be, but you assumed it would be closer to the centre of camp. Thankfully, that intuition was correct. In little time you had skidded to a halt outside a tent that was significantly larger than the others. Other elves around had turned to look at you as you galloped near but went about their activities likely having recognized you and thought you had come simply because of your status as a healer. 

You were grateful that none interfered with you. 

Getting off the horse had been a near disaster. Each movement you made was painful and you feared your stitches would rip at any moment. You hunkered over for a moment once finally on the ground and wheezed. Steeling yourself, you moved towards the entrance flap that had been closed. You pushed it to the side and stood at the entrance. 

You looked around at the tent, cluttered with weapons, pieces of armour, and a large war table. It held a map of all the known lands and pieces were laid out strategically. You could not find a cot in your scan, instead finding a reasonably comfortable-looking chair with a blanket folded on it. If that was any indication of your beliefs, you would gather that Aemond had not slept or at the very least got little sleep. Even in such a space, you could smell Aemond’s signature scent of parchment, firewood, and spices. 

You finally zeroed in on Aemond who stood at the centre of the tent. His back was to you and you could see the armor that adorned his form. It was a contrast to his usual choice of leathers, however it suited him. All of the metal pieces, from the greaves on his calves to the pauldrons on his shoulders were coloured black with gold outlines; real gold that shined in the light that illuminated the tent. He had a long red piece of fabric that acted like a cape, strung from both sides over a single shoulder. The large broadsword he always had was strapped to his waist. 

In your not-so-humble opinion, he was a vision of phantasmal beauty; a spectre of frightensome splendor.

Aemond had likely confused you with someone else he had been expecting, too focused on adjusting the armour piece on his shoulder, “All of their lands will be burned as we move forward. For what they’ve done, reduce it all to ash.” 

It had come back to you again that he was speaking of your people, your towns, your cities that he wished to destroy. Your relief at seeing him had been knocked down with disappointment. Those flashes of memories you had seen in that trap between the living and dead came forth; you had finally understood his hate towards your kind for all the pain that had been inflicted upon him. You could truly see him now. 

“Aemond.” You whispered his name in both disappointment and relief while utterly breathless. No use of ‘your grace’ or any other acknowledgement of his title – only the desperate pleading of a name. His body froze and his shoulders squared up tightly. The red cape that he had been affixing to his shoulder fell to the ground. Aemond’s head turned just slightly before his body did as well. 

There was a moment of confusion that swept across his features. He nearly took a step back, but placed his foot forward and approached you slowly. You were overwhelmed by the look in his eye. For once, the blue ocean in his eye calmed and left behind a glittering reflection of a calm sea of adoration. He approached you, unsure and scanning the length of your body as if it were a mirage. 

You wanted to speak, truly you did, but his look sucked all the air from your lungs. You had never received such an emotional face from anyone in your life. He was right in front of you then, sweeping his eye across your face. The heat that started in your stomach moved across your body and turned the skin of your cheeks a dark shade of red. 

It was hesitant, but Aemond moved his arms around your waist and pulled you into a hug. It was clear, by the awkward positioning, that he was not used to expressing such sentiment. There were likely centuries that had passed between now and the last hug he received. You responded immediately and wrapped your arms around his shoulders. The armour led to a degree of separation, but you did not mind. However, his hold tightened after you reciprocated and pain bloomed from your side. 

A wince came forth from your lips and you flinched. Aemond pulled away like he, too, was hurt. Your hands went to your side, where underneath the metal plackart was your wound. You could feel the strain the stitches made on your skin. 

“I,” Aemond’s mouth opened and closed a few times, “How are you…” 

“Daeron, he’s a damn genius with stitching people back together.” You sucked in a breath as more shoots of pain rippled through your body. 

Aemond shook his head, “But the knife had taint on it.” 

You nodded at his words, “Yes but my idea worked. The cure… We did it.” Your lips wobbled. You were unsure if you were trying to smile or hold back a sob at the culmination of years of work. He moved his hands to cup your face, thumbs brushing your cheekbones. 

“You did it.” His words were light and graceful, washing over you in waves. It was a stark contrast to his attitude when you first arrived. He had treated you with nothing but disregard then – no human could ever come close to the level of intellect and elves possessed. You were glad to prove him wrong. 

The reason as to why you came so hastily pushed forth in your mind, “Aemond, it was not humans that did this.” 

“What?” His thumbs stopped brushing your cheeks but his hands stayed in place. You swallowed and shook your head. It would be difficult to tell him that his closest friend was a traitor – an elf colluding with sinister means. You placed your hands over his and hoped it would help support him when you exposed his friend's transgressions.

“It was not humans that infiltrated the lab. I’m sorry, but–” The tent opening ruffled with movement. Both you and Aemond turned your heads to watch Cole enter the tent. Dread and fear gripped your body and set itself deep in your heart which had begun to beat rapidly. Aemond’s hands dropped from your face, but you remained right next to him. You wanted to shrink behind him and hide and pray that this could all go away. However, the rage that built up in you at seeing the elf that tried to kill you overcame that fear. 

“Ah,” Cole plastered on a fake smile, “It’s good to see you up and about.” 

“No thanks to you,” You sneered. 

“You seem to be delirious. All of that milk of the poppy must be messing with your mind.” Cole moved to step closer, but you flinched back. Aemond noticed that reaction and held his arm out in front of you. 

“Are you alright?” He asked you sincerely. You swiped your tongue across your chapped lips. While your body faced Aemond, you were staring down Cole. There was no way you could look away from him; you would not give him an advantage over you. 

“Ask Cole.” You answered. 

Aemond looked to his friend with a questioning face, but Cole continued to brush it off, “Do not worry your grace. She is suffering from delusions, I can escort her back to the castle.” 

“Coward,” Your teeth gritted together, “Show him the marks on your arms. Show him the spell-casting marks that happen to coincidentally match those on the patients.” You were more thankful than ever that Lyra had brought them to your attention. That morning she showed you the marks felt like a lifetime ago. You were too late to save her, but not too late to kill the one who played a part in her death. 

“Or maybe show him the book that Aegon found in your room, the one with all that dark magic.” You finished. 

“Your grace, listen to her delusion. It is–” 

“Perhaps, most of all, tell him why you are still standing here after murdering my father.” By then you had been reduced in tone. Your lips quivered with unvoiced sobs and tears lined your eyes. You wanted to be brave, to face this with no fear, but your life had been nothing but that and you were exhausted more than ever. 

“What in the seven hells is she talking about, Ser Cole?” Aemond asked. His arm had wrapped around your waist when you had become unstable as you stood there. The pain in your wound intensified with your mood. 

“Tell him how heinous you are, how tainted your soul is.” The final accusation was laid out in the open. While Aemond may not understand what you said, Cole clued in on your choice of words. His eyes darkened and his jaw locked.

“I will not stand here and take such accusations.” Cole simmered with anger. He scoffed towards you and turned back to leave the tent. Once again, the coward was fleeing. When he left, you followed quickly after. The intensity of the glaring sun nearly knocked you off your feet. When you got out, you were surprised to see Aegon and Daeron already standing outside the tent. The guards that came with you formed a half circle. Cole occupied some free space. 

“Ah, good to see you, Cole.” Aegon had his arms crossed and a smug look on his face. 

“Let me through,” Cole demanded.

Daeron and Aegon looked at one another before turning back to him. Daeron’s lips were in a tight line, “Absolutely not.” 

“What is going on here?” You had not even noticed Aemond’s form behind you until he spoke to his brothers. He was close, with his chest just short of hitting your back. 

You turned to Aemond with a solemn look on your face, “It was Cole, the whole time.” His brow twitched at your words but you continued, “The taint, he played a part in it. He murdered my father and he was the one who stabbed me.” 

Aemond shook his head, “No,” His voice showed that he was clearly in denial. 

“Brother,” Daeron spoke, “We can tell you the truth after Cole is in the dungeons.” 

“Where are these accusations coming from?” Aemond questioned, “What validity could they possibly hold?” 

You turned to Aemond and rested a hand on the metal covering his chest while you looked him in the eye, “I know this all sounds overwhelming right now, but I promise it will all make sense.” 

“Then tell me now,” Aemond told you. His hand went up to cover yours that was placed on his chest. You did not know if he did it consciously, but he made no move to let go. Cole had been watching and his gaze intensified. 

You remember growing up, in the stories your father told you, that there were evil people who did evil things, but their motivations behind it were not always bad. He emphasized that a lot; he had always been particular in his ability to see the good in people, no matter who. You had taken those lessons to heart like all the other wisdom imparted to you. Evil was something that often came from desperation, either to protect oneself or others in some twisted reasoning. 

Even now, looking at Cole, you could not see what your father would have been able to see. Perhaps, there was no reasoning behind Cole’s motives. You highly doubted that. There was a reason, as deep as the secrets he kept. You hoped to be privy to it. You wanted to know why he had done this but knew there may never be an answer. 

Cole had begun to laugh. Not jovial, but strange and wild in temper, “Still now you listen to those things.” You were worried that he would make a miscalculated move and hurt any of the surrounding elves, but he seemed to be caught up in his reverie. 

“You betrayed your people… for a fucking peace treaty.” Cole’s words seemed to knock into Aemond and make a profound impact. In all their years together, you doubted Cole had ever spoken to him like that. 

“What the hell are you talking about?” Aemond said. 

“The war. Those things,” Cole had raised his voice and pointed at you, “killed countless of our people, your people. And you just ended it all with a piece of parchment, like none of them ever mattered.” 

Aemond stepped forward to be by your side, “Our people had seen enough violence,” 

“That’s where you’re wrong. This time, we’ll take them all out. Starting with this spoiled bitch.” Cole had become nearly raving mad. He reached towards his waist and pulled his long sword out of his scabbard to point directly at you, only a person’s distance away. 

You were frozen in fear, staring at the glinting steel that aimed to strike you down. 

Chapter 20: An Elf's Rage Preview

Elves were immortal, but still susceptible to death. That you knew all too well in the eyes of your patients. The fleeting of their soul was something you recognized. 

That is why it petrified you to see that same look on Aemond.

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[hiraethwa]

one summer day

18 hiraeth. where everything has changed.

<< 17 light. | >> 19 (coming soon)

pairing: ushijima wakatoshi x reader word count: 3.6k warnings: alcohol, forced interaction

"the love was there. it didn't change anything. it didn't save anyone. there were just too many forces against it. but it still matters that the love was there." (source)

the ocean calls to you, whispering of the bittersweet past as you and semi barreled towards your old apartment complex on the train shortly after arriving at haneda airport. 

you close your eyes, centering yourself, trying your damned hardest to not be swayed by the ocean, this train line, the carriage itself, the familiar scenery flying past you, everything.

the ocean sings of a song long forgotten—a song of a flightless bird taking flight on man made wings. of the song you had desperately tried to forget, its score long since burned to ashes. 

she calls to you to visit her lonely shores, to lay your eyes on the treasures she keeps in her depths, gleaming in the dark, waiting for their master to claim them again. 

stop. you tell her, there is a reason you built your home atop a cliff, never laying a foot on her sandy beaches again. semi tugs at your sleeve as a female voice announces your stop. 

the ocean has a mind of her own, and she is determined for you to sink your toes into her warm waters again. i have always been here.

now is not the time. you turn your attention away from her to focus on the male before you, your arm tightly laced through semi’s, as reality settles in. 

ushijima wakatoshi stands before you, the expression on his hauntingly handsome face a familiar sight. one that you wish to never lay your eyes upon for the rest of your life after semi confirmed what you were told. 

don’t ever mention him again, you had told semi after that conversation five years ago.

and now, the source of your heartache stands before you, a faint smile on his lips, as though nothing has changed in the years that you were gone. everything has changed. 

you curse at her internally for distracting you.

it has been five years. five years since you left without a word. you thought you are long over him, that all he is now is someone from your past, but there he is, just as beautiful as you remembered. traitorous mind. 

there he is, looking as fine as the day he cleaved your heart apart. how could he? 

the ocean quiets.  

something in your chest pangs in remembrance, like an old injury aching just before the storm rolls through, recognising the person who your heart used to call home. you dig your nails into your palms to resist clutching at your chest. 

five years. all the pain and the healing, the breaking and the mending. it will not come undone at the mere sight of ushijima, you remind your heart. 

five year is enough. more than. 

it has to be. 

but then he opens his mouth, a mere hello, the sweet curve of his lips that was seared into the fiber of your being, even if he was only yours for one night, and the precarious image of control you had shatters into a million pieces. 

your anger bursts into life, hot flames shrouding you in its defensive embrace. 

it is all you could do to mutter one back, chest heaving with strained breathing, turning to stare a hole into the side of semi’s head, opting to stand in awkward silence rather than speak any further. 

perhaps you should have taken your chance on the streets, or at a cheap motel. you should never have agreed to this, or let semi convince you that it would be alright to stay with ushijima at your old apartment—the rented two bedroom apartment that he still lived in. 

you had not known what to do with the information when semi sprung it on you, and so he got his way with this ridiculous closure project of his. foolish, this whole thing. it has been five years, what is there left to move on from?

semi takes charge moving your suitcase into your old bedroom, still untouched from the way you left it, not a speck of dust. you shove that piece of observation deep behind some forgotten memory, shushing the ocean that tries to protest.

you opt to walk behind them on the way to dinner, where tendo will be joining you, your high school group all conveniently in tokyo at the same time. the two of them chatted back and forth, so unlike your memories where semi or tendo used to carry the conversation when it comes to ushijima who usually has little to say. 

had, you correct yourself. the man strolling in front of you is holding his own, no longer the boy you knew. your brain notes the broadness in his shoulders, the extra inches he grew, his well defined muscles straining against the turtleneck he has on. 

you almost wish for him to be angry at you for leaving without a goodbye. because then it would mean that you were in the wrong. that you got it all wrong. 

it is wishful thinking—dangerous territory. the ocean croons at you. 

at least semi is kind enough to let you choose your seat in the crowded katsu restaurant—next to ushijima or tendo, which is an easy choice. 

dinner passes uneventfully with tendo recounting his wild adventures in paris, especially the ones that involved you at a time when you lived life a little too recklessly. 

you try not to stare at ushijima’s empty ring finger, or semi’s answer a few weeks earlier when you remembered to ask after his wife to get out of his stupid plan of staying with ushijima. don’t worry about it, he had said. 

you didn’t know what to make of it then. you still don’t know what to make of it now.

when the classic ‘leave them alone so they can talk’ happens, you see it coming from a mile away. 

semi leaves first to get the check, instantaneously followed by tendo excusing himself to the bathroom. you send a hard glare at semi as he gets up to leave, which he responds to with a look in ushijima’s direction—you said you are over him, right?

right. you deflate in your seat as your friends make their escape. 

you worry your lip, eyes darting behind ushijima towards the counter, to the waiter walking by your table, giving them a nervous smile, to the textured ceiling and back to the counter where semi is—where did he go?

your feet tap on the ground at a high tempo, fast enough to keep your mind occupied and away from things you should not think about as you scan the restaurant, eyes coming to a stop at a booth with two very familiar figures and two other people chatting and laughing. tendo and semi—and kai.

traitors. did they plan this?

you whip your head back towards ushijima for a short second, before forcing your gaze to fall to the table. 

“you haven’t spoken a word to me since you said hello—”

“don’t, ushijima. don’t pretend like everything is alright.” you clench your fist under the table, desperately trying to salvage the nonchalance you mustered.

“can i explain—” 

“no.” you inhale sharply. this is all a very, very bad idea. 

“please give me a chance to explain my side of—”

“that’s enough.” you say quietly, meeting his eyes for the first time. “you never gave us a chance. 

“i only wanted to protect you.” he looks pained, as if you are twisting the dagger piercing his chest. 

“it seems that you are the one i needed protecting from,” the words come out in your voice, so detached and void of emotion that you barely recognise it. his presence drags a sharp-tipped blade over the scars on your heart, picking at the fraying thin threads holding it together with every word. 

“i’m sorry.” he drops his eyes, falling silent. 

you look away as well, tracking your friends who are coming back your way, knowing them well enough that they would drag you both to dessert. 

you glance back at him, the organ in your chest bleeding red with liquid that it's supposed to pump away from itself through your body, standing up quickly and turning to leave, your chair shrieking against the tiles, and you lie.

”i don’t care.” 

—-------------

the wind is cold against your face, harsh enough to whip your hair around and make you shiver, but not enough for you to feel numb—the way you feel inside now that you distanced yourself from the situation. 

you had plundered his fridge, choosing a good bottle of sake, surprised to even find alcohol in the apartment since he does not drink, before planting yourself on the balcony, sitting with your knees to your chest on the freezing tiles. 

home. the word had slipped out of you accidentally while referring to this apartment.

“i am going home,” you had responded in your haze of fury when ushijima asked where you were going, realizing your mistake twenty minutes too late, the understanding settling in as you stepped foot on the westbound train. 

his eyes had snapped to yours with that look, as he shoved the keys into your hand and closed your fingers around them before backtracking to the restaurant, letting you go as you wished. 

it was because you called this place home. 

your mistake has played on loop in your mind since then, and sleep feels as far away as the safe havens of paris tonight. 

tonight, you have two choices—stay up all night staring at the stupid glow-in-the-dark stars on the ceiling in your bedroom while being tortured by your memories or drink yourself into oblivion. the latter feels like a less painful choice. 

you keep forgetting that it also makes your mind painfully clear and your inhibitions non-existent—that was how you got tendo to do all the dubious shit you got into together in paris.

it seems that ushijima also realizes that, knowing that this is his one chance to talk to you without you walking out on him. he is absolutely right. 

he slides the balcony door closed behind him, standing next to you silently, waiting for something. 

you speak first this time, annoyed and emboldened by the alcohol coursing through your system. “here to plead your case again?”

you raise your head to peer at his tall figure in the dim light, an eyebrow arched, your guard thrown to the winds rushing between you. 

he shakes his head, “not if you don’t want to hear it.”

“and you’re not going to try to make me for the rest of the time that semi stuck me here for?”

“i didn’t know.”

“didn’t know?” you parrot after him, “didn’t know what?”

“i was under the impression that you wanted to stay here. i didn’t know that he was forcing you to do it. if i had known, i would not have agreed to it.”

semi tricked the both of you? the bastard.

“you would not have agreed to it?”

he nods, brows furrowed, hesitating on his next words. “i– i booked a room under your name at a hotel in shinjuku, a few blocks away from tokyo opera city, if you wish to stay there for the duration you are here instead.”

you falter, setting down the half empty bottle of sake and the cup in your hand, caught surprised by his words. “you didn’t have to.”

“i know.” silence falls over you both. “you should go, while it’s not too late. i can call a cab for you.”

you sigh through your nose, throwing your head back against the glass doors, looking up at the dark skies for some sign on what you should do next—if your change of heart to hear him out is a bad idea for your own wellbeing. 

is this what semi wanted? for him to be so him and for you to soften at his gestures? no… tendo. 

you drop your head onto your arms, squeezing your eyes shut, uncertain whether you should follow your instincts. 

“sit down.” you mumble into your skin a few moments later.

ushijima looks at you in surprise, unsure if he heard wrong but then you say it again, head raised, your eyes meeting his. he obeys, careful not to intrude on your space. 

you swallow, blood thrumming through your veins at the unexpected change in the course of your actions. “i can’t sleep anyway, so,” you shrug your shoulders, pouring sake into the small cup and lifting it to your lips, sipping. 

you really hope you don’t regret your next words. “what did you want to tell me?”

you look away from the visible perk in the tilt of his eyes, the corner of his lips, the tightness coiled in his shoulders loosening just slightly. 

he still reads like an open book to you—you wonder if you are the same. 

if after all this time that passed, you still remember the language between you. 

“my mother told you about the– the arrangement. how much do you know?”

you don't need to dig into your memories, you hear them frequently enough. “the week i left. that was also the week you went back to miyagi for your family gathering. she said it was for your engagement ceremony.” you lied to me.

hearing your own voice say that out loud, separated by distance and time from the rawness of your heartbreak, it sounds ridiculous. you left, not a single confirmation from ushijima on the supposed ceremony that you heard from his mother, who is practically a stranger to you. 

you left based on nothing but words of a stranger. 

what does that say about you? you blink at the empty cup in your numb fingers. 

“yes, that is right, but i did not know that the yuino was happening then until i went back.” i did not lie to you about it being a family gathering.

you pour more sake into the cup. 

“my mother hated how much volleyball reminded her of my father, so i made a promise to her at the end of junior high. in exchange for focusing on volleyball through high school and pursuing it professionally after, i agreed to having an arranged marriage. she wanted me to have a stable marriage unlike her own, and at the time, i haven’t met you yet. i didn’t care for love, and i thought she knew best.”

is that what all this is about? always too late. to grow old with the boy you fell in love with.

to save your sister. 

“i wanted to call it off. i tried to, but she threatened me with you, with your future. and i could not gamble with that. i thought it was best for you that i keep my distance, protect you from her, but that night, on my birthday—” he chokes on the memory. 

it brings up a well of emotions within you as well. you are no stranger to it—every touch, every kiss seared into your skin, every image of him burned into the back of your eyelids—the deep pools of warmth within his eyes, the softness of his cheeks beneath your thumb, the strength of his arms wrapped around you. 

you had wanted to drown in him forever.

but that was five years ago, and everything has changed since then. 

“i should not have done it. i gave in to my impulses and i ended up hurting us both far more because of it.” he stares at his tightly clasped hands in his lap, knuckles white with force, shaking almost imperceptibly. 

“do you regret it?” a quiet question. 

“no, i don’t. i am the worst, am i not? i keep taking from you, and i can’t find it in myself to regret it. i only regret that it was the only time we shared together without trying to hide our feelings. if that was always the end, i should have asked you out from the start, then we would have had at least a year together. more.” he looks over at you. “i regret not having more time with you.”

“you should have told me, i would have understood.”

“and you would have fought for me like you did in high school without any care for yourself. and you would have been stuck here, and hated your life. i could not bear it, if you gave up music for me.”

you keep quiet, knowing he is right, that he knew you better than yourself. 

“i am an idiot for trusting my mother. i found out that week when i went home that she had messed with your future even though she promised me that she would leave you alone. you did get into the university of tokyo, but she used her connections to have admissions reject you.”

“to get me away from you.”

“yes. she broke our agreement, so i cancelled the ceremony, and everything else. the girl i was supposed to marry didn’t care either way, but my mother was still insistent on it, still dangling you and paris to keep me in line. i was so angry, at her, at my grandparents, mostly at myself for not fighting harder for us that i called her bluff. i wasn’t sure if her threats were empty, but i was so angry that i didn’t think it through.” he pauses, eyes scanning over you. 

“and then tendo’s phone call came that you were leaving. you were leaving without any word, any goodbye to paris on a one way ticket and i panicked. i told my mother that if she touched you again, she can forget she ever had a son, and i got on the first shinkansen back to tokyo, but i was too late. you were gone.”

“were they real? her threats?”

“i don’t know, i didn’t care as long as nothing happened to you. semi never shared any details of your life in paris, what you were up to or when you are coming back, he would only tell me if you were doing fine. i accepted your decision, that you didn’t want anything to do with me, but then you were coming back, and when semi said that you wanted to stay here temporarily…” he shrugs, “how could i say no?”

you fall silent, blinking, eyes moving over the tokyo skyline aimlessly as you turn over his words in your mind, the churning depths in the ocean within you calm for the first time in years, the rough peaks of water smoothing over, crashing onto the sand like a soft lullaby. 

this is what your friend hoped for when he forced you into the arrangement, for closure to the wounds that had scarred over on the outside, leaving the insides to fester and rot quietly. 

you had been so stubborn. 

the love was real. you hadn’t imagined that. a breath of relief shudders out of you, all the fight in your body leaving you with it, suddenly acutely aware of the chill that had settled in your bones. 

the thing between you, it was real. the knowledge unravels a knot all tangled within your chest, every breath that comes after becoming lighter with it. 

it was real, and yet it was not enough to change your fates. the universe had brought you together, but there were too many forces against it, you and him included. 

there was too much lost in the years between you. too much, but… the ocean stills, wavers for a split second before resuming its gentle lapping at the shoreline. she agrees, albeit reluctantly. 

the fingers wrapped around your arms are pale with force as though they could turn back time and undo everything that had gone wrong if you squeezed hard enough.

“if there’s anything more you want to know, anything…” he starts after a long pause, trailing off as he remembers the weight of the knowledge he just shared. 

“i know. maybe another day.” there are many questions at the tip of your tongue, but it would be wise to hold off for another time when your mind is clearer, not tired and wishing for a warm bed after a fourteen hour flight. the sake in your system has long since cleared, sleep sweeping in with welcoming arms at the lightness in your shoulders. 

“i am not asking for forgiveness or understanding,” he hesitates, unsure if his next words would push you even further away. as if his next words could push you even further away. “i only hope that when you look back at the time we shared, it is not with hate, but with fondness.”

“i know.” he also knows that there is too much between you for there to be any hope for something more. you wonder why your heart clenches at the mutual understanding when you know it is for the better—wonder whether he feels it too. “it’s getting late, i should go.”

“of course. let me call a cab for you.”

you wave him off. “i’ll be fine. how do you think i survived paris?”

“i was hoping you didn’t make a habit of getting drunk and trying to find your own way home, you used to hate alcohol.” the corners of his lips quirk, as if teasing you. 

he still reads like an open book, but you don’t know what to expect from him anymore. you wonder if you could still recognize him from touch alone, identify him from the feel of his strength under your fingertips calloused from years of playing. probably not. 

you used to. 

then again, you are not sure if you still recognize the man in front of you. there is enough between you to remind you of the lost years—of the time and experiences that have changed and shaped you, unknown to the other. 

you laugh softly, sadly, “we are no longer the same people we used to be.”

a/n: tags: @lemurzsquad @daisy-room @integers @brokenbraveakira @whosmarjj @nansfyy @illuzminate @httpshoyo @manyuyuu @hatsukeii @bakery-anon

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[heartofjasmina]

A thought just crossed my mind

The Iida brothers (or just one of them) finding out that their sweet little sister is a slut, who's willing to spread her legs for anyone gives her any attention

Or that she works at a glory hole

This-

Tenya Iida had no idea what he was doing here. One of his sidekicks had told him that he needed to 'unwind' and brought him to a dingy sex shop that had.. places in the back where you could get off. It made him feel dirty but it had been far too long since he got off with someone else involved. So he followed his sidekick deeper into the store, all the way to the back where a gloryhole had been installed.

"Have fun doll, brought a real hero for you. And you love heros don't you?" His sidekick called and though Tenya wanted to hit him, his gut twisted when he heard a sweet, familiar voice answer.

"I do. I love heroes. Lots and lots." You almost moaned the words. He should not be getting hard over this.

His sidekick closed the door behind him after giving Tenya a clap on the shoulder and whispering loudly "she's got a hungry lil mouth, and you've more than earned a relaxing break."

It was easy to find the hidden latch that kept you 'protected' in your little cubby. And sure enough, when he damn near ripped it off the hinges, there you were. Fingering your needy pussy and mouth wide open waiting for more dick, and unavoidably his little sister. If he wasn't mistaken you were even wearing one of his shirts.

"T-Ten!" You flushed horribly as your big brother saw you in your debauched state. But all he could think about was the fact that he could still see your tiny fingers buried knuckle deep in your wetness.

"Get up." He barely recognized his own voice, rough and gravelly as it was.

"But--"

"You really don't want push it right now." He took a step forward and grabbed you by the hair, visciously ignoring the way his dick twitch in his pants when he realized that on your knees like that it would be all to easy to fuck your throat.

"Ten, I swear I was just-" Your voice was pitiful, trembling, but still hoarse. Probably from all the dick you'd had down your throat.

"Being a fucking slut. That's what you were doing." It was like fire had taken over his blood, and all filters between his brain and his mouth had been lifted. "If I have to give it to you myself to keep you from offering up your mouth like a two dollar whore, then I will."

"Just wanted you, not them!" You swore, and yeah, Tenya can admit that's what caused him to snap.

"Oh, so instead of admitting you wanted to fuck me like a big girl, you decided to let any hero off the street use you?" He snarled as he dragged your face forward, rutting against your face without remorse.

"I'm sorry, Ten." It was genuine, and you weren't revolted by his crudeness. Hell you were mouthing him through his jeans- looking up at him so needily it made his head spin. "Let me make it up to you." Every kiss to his clothed cock caused him leak pre into his boxers, a dark wet patch forming as his tip grew sticky.

"Take my cock out." He should be worried by how calmly he gave the order. Should've been pissed by how easy and practiced you were as you unbuckled his belt and freed his cock. But all he wanted was to punish you for making him feel this way, wreck you until you were just as fucked up as he was about this.

He had to tighten his grip on your hair when you went to suck him. You fucking whimpered at being denied his cock, like it physically hurt you not to have his heavy girth in your mouth.

"I know you're a cockslut, but you're gonna have to learn some fucking manners if you want my cock sis." And there it was, that tremble in your lower lip and tears gathering in your eyes. The look that always made him ashamed and aroused in equal measure when he was just a bit too mean to you growing up.

"Please can I have your cock, Ten?" He wondered if he should let you start crying for real first, but then reasoned you could cry on his cock later anyway.

"So sweet when you want to be, too bad I don't buy it. Not after finding you here." He sneered down at you as he released your hair. "But a deals a deal. Make me cum and maybe I'll think about fucking you."

You were off like a shot, opening your mouth wide and swallowing him down inch by inch until your nose was in his pubes. He wasn't sure who moaned louder as you started to bob your head. It was a slow, wet, nasty yet utterly loving blow job that Tenya knew would ruin him for any other girl after you.

"You shouldn't be this good, fuck-" Ten had to resist the urge to skullfuck your perfect little mouth. You hadn't earned any effort on his part yet, but it was heaven and hell giving you free reign. "How many dicks did you have to suck to get this fucking perfect?" He was babbling to himself, lost in the pleasure of your hot wet tongue and throat.

Then he felt your tongue on his balls, little kitten licks every time you deep throated him, threatening what little sanity he had left.

"They're so full they ache sis, all for you. Feel 'em." Your fingers were sticky when they cupped his balls reverently, and his cock throbbed in your mouth when he remembered why. His gut tightened and he knew he wasn't going to last any longer.

"Gonna cum, y/n-" He didn't know why he bothered to warn you, you swallowed him to the root and looked him in the eyes- silently pleading for his load.

His balls drew up as he unloaded down your throat, and you moaned like it was the most delicious treat in the world. Your eyes grew unfocused as you struggled to keep up with every thick spurt of seed. Tenya swore he had never came so hard in his life.

The problem became evident when you wouldn't let his dick go.

"Hey-"

You ignored him, your tongue massaging the vein on the underside of his shaft before you pulled back and started making out with his tip. Tonguing his slit for every last drop- completely lost in your worship of him.

So he had to grab your hair again to haul you off growling, "Enough."

You pouted at him, every bit the spoiled baby of the family. "More, Ten. Please?"

He scoffed, tucking himself away and throwing his jacket at you- already a plan forming in his mind on how exactly he was supposed to handle you and your insatiable mouth.

"Get dressed. Lets see what Tensei has to say."

[blablablabla-ur-mom]

Every day that we get closer to tgr being released, I become.e just a little more unhinged. So here is my theory for Jeremy's backstory and elodie maybe being alive.

(This has no real chance of being canon but hey we got tsc through being delusional. )

So we know Jeremy has an older brother (gonna call him Joe for convenience cuz I forgot his name) that he avoids like the plague, and Stuart said elodie was bought by an arms dealer.

Young teen Joe joined a gang in secret and quickly started working his way up the ranks. Now one of the gangsters had a friend on the other side of the world, that happened to sell guns. This friend is the arms dealer that bought elodie.

A little while before the banquet, the arms dealer visits his friend. Joe tracks him down and tries to buy a weapon

The dealer refuses because reasons and instead Joe waits for him to meet up with his friend and steals a gun.

Joe does who knows what with the gun, and soon realizes that he just fucked with an arms dealer. So he tries to pin it on his little brother Jeremy.

Jeremy, who is at the banquet, is completely oblivios to his older brother sneaking in and planting an unregistered firearm into his bag. He is completly unaware when event security walks up and tells him he has to leave. Then he's at the station, shaking his head because he doesn't know how a gun got into his bag he doesn't now how any of this happened! But the police don't believe him and in the end his parents have to do a lot of shit to cover this up. The dealer knows better than to go after him because he is a governors son. And Jeremy never again trusts cop because how the fuck did they not see the guilty look on his brothers face.

I made a previous post about elodie being alive and one of the responses said she may have been bought to be used as target practice. I hate this idea but I'm running with it.

Flash forward a few years and elodie is 14/15. She is malnourished, covered in scars from bullets she could not dodge, and is barely there. But she is a Moreau, and she will endure. She will endure until her captors either kill her, or she finds a way out and back to her family. Not her parents, but the brother that was taken from her, he is her only family, the only thing that has kept her going these long years.

one day, she hears gunshots, not unusual but the amount of shots is. And there men grabbing her and taking her somewhere, and she's kicking and screaming because she thinks this is the end. Then they put something over her mouth and everything goes dark.

She wakes up in a hospital room with two strange men sitting across from her. They're speaking a language she doesn't understand and have to bring in a translator. They ask for her name but takes a few moments for the translator to understand her because of how hoarse her voice is. "My name is Elodie Moreau"

She finds out her brother sold out their family, that the fbi have been investigating her family and the contact her mother sold her too. She finds out Jean is alive.

Jean and Jeremy are at home when they get a knock at the door. It's an agent and he saying Jean has to come with him. Instead of taking Jean to the building where they took his confesion, they take him to a hospital. He's confused for all of a second when he steps into the room. Then he sees her. The sister he thought he'd lost is sitting there. To anyone else she would have been unrecognizable, but he knows. He kniws because he's dreamt if seeing those very same gray eyes again for years. She may be covered in wretched scars that make him want to throttle his parents, but she's there.

[esmereldapearl]

Random head-cannons for PJO (again):

- Nico loves music videos— like Lady Gaga’s Paparazzi MTV performance he would love. (Maybe too because if Lady Gaga played during his stay at the casino, it might remind him of good memories with his older sister.)

- Hazel has met Bianca. I like to think that Bianca sat with her before leaving because Nico was coming to save Hazel. Like Bianca knew that was her sister the same way Nico knew— but Bianca sort of knew it would happen but wanted to meet Hazel— have a sibling relationship with Hazel. (This is leading into AU stuff) I feel like Hazel wouldn’t know until she found a random photo of her when going through some of Nico’s stuff he had as a kid.

- I feel like Will is the type of character for when something insane happens this is his reaction:

Percy: Hey man, so uh, during Harleys maze, I may or may not have broken like- two bones? One is my arm, the other is Annabeth’s ankle.

Will: *one eye twitches as he sort of half glare, half not yet still shocked* Mkay Percy.

(Like just imagine Will on his last straw, that’s how I imagine this)

- Kayla and Michael were really close. Lee and Will were also very close.

- Michael hid a safe in the infirmary that had files and stuff that he wanted hidden— also like random possessions and letters/ stuff from Lee except nobody could find it and then when they did find it nobody knew the code. Kayla did some digging and found the code. (They refused to let anybody try to break the safe or have Hermes cabin try to pick the lock)

- I have quite a few headcannons for Kayla even though she hasn’t been seen much throughout the books. I feel like one of the bigger ones I have is that she has two older siblings who are twins- very random, but she doesn’t really have a cannon backstory (yet?).

- Once the Apollo cabin realizes that Nico has not seen like— a lot of pop culture stuff and Disney movies, they force him to watch a lot of them.

- Everyone, including Nico, forgets that Nico was born in like the 1930/1940s until they bring up some big historical fact and he’s like:

Will: Ya’ll up for watching this rocket take off? You can see it from our cabin, it’s gonna go to the moon.

Nico: What do you mean to the moon?

Will: ??? Wait do you not know about the moon landing?

Nico: PEOPLE HAVE GONE TO SPACE???

(This is the only historical event I could think of for some reason)

- Nico would 100% love video games and love like a 3DS

- Hazel cusses— like a lot— mostly when she’s annoyed/angry though.

- Frank is good with younger campers. He likes to reassure them that it’ll be okay and try’s to make them laugh

- Nico is less emo/dark and more just- random? I don’t think he has a set style, nor do I think he’s gloomy— I think of him more like a combo of Sam and Sebastian from Stardew Valley.

- Nico likes to hangout in the infirmary and goof off with Kayla and Austin. Will’s glad they get along

- Lee or Michael had set a rule where you can’t hang from the beams in the ceiling— Kayla disregards the rule quite a bit.

- Will 100% has a southern accent— not like a full blown accent but it mixes with his daily speech. Like specific words and phrases bring the accent back.

- Hazel and Nico like to draw— both have completely different styles though, and Nico draws more often while Hazel experiments with art.

- Hazel (and Nico) likes to visit Nico and talk to her brother often- so they hangout like once a month and talk very often. I feel like after Leo would create some device/adapter to make it so monsters wouldn’t attack every time you sent a text, they’d text more often than Iris message. (Ik not everyone has the best relationships w/their siblings but my sister and I are like this so I promise I’m speaking from experience lol) like every piece of gossip/major event, every “what would you do in this situation”, etc

Hazel: OMG NICO

Nico: WHAT???

Hazel: PERCY AND ANNABETH ARE ENGAGED— YOU’LL NEVER BELIEVE HOW.

Nico: OH GODS.

[theesirenteller]

Little Miss Dairy Queen.

ᴄʜᴀᴘᴛᴇʀ ᴏɴᴇ; ᴄʀᴏssɪɴɢ ᴘᴀᴛʜs !

M ♡ A ♡ S ♡ T ♡ E ♡ R ♡ L ♡ I ♡ S ♡ T

SYNOPSIS {Bluebell and Jax were inseparable—sneaking around, deeply in love, and always craving each other's touch. Their passion led to a secret marriage and a move to La Jolla, far from the chaos of Charming. But their happiness was shattered when Gemma, fueled by jealousy, discovered their marriage and viciously attacked Bluebell, causing her to miscarry. While Bluebell lay in a coma, Jax made the heartbreaking decision to leave.Seven months later, after being released from jail and dealing with Opie’s death, Jax returned for one night of passion, but left again before morning.Now, two years later, with Jax as SAMCRO president and married to Tara, fate brings him and Bluebell face-to-face once more. Is this their second chance, or will the years apart keep them from the love they once shared?}

The dusty La Jolla café was busier than usual, with the buzz of conversation and the hiss of an espresso machine filling the air. Bluebell stepped out of her beat-up sedan, brushing her hands over her denim overalls. The morning sun warmed her brown skin, but the sharp November breeze reminded her that winter was creeping in. She adjusted her thrifted cowboy hat, squinting against the sunlight as she slung her woven tote bag over her shoulder.

The bell above the café door jingled as she pushed it open, her boots clicking against the polished wood floor. Her thick Southern drawl, sharp and twangy like a fiddle on a Saturday night, carried over the din as she greeted the barista. “Mornin’, darlin’. Y’all still got that caramel pecan latte on the menu, or y’all done changed it up again?”

The barista smiled, clearly charmed. “Still got it, ma’am. You want it hot or iced?”

“Oh, hot for sure. Ain’t no sense in drinkin’ iced coffee when it’s colder than a well-digger’s ass outside,” Bluebell said, digging through her bag for her wallet.

A few people nearby chuckled at her colorful expression, and she tipped her hat in their direction, her smile polite but distant. She wasn’t in the mood for small talk. The last two years had made her cautious, keeping most people at arm’s length. The walls she’d built around herself weren’t just for protection—they were for survival.

She took her latte to a table near the window, her eyes drifting to the beach just beyond the parking lot. La Jolla wasn’t Charming, and that was the point. No SAMCRO. No Gemma. No Jax. She sipped her drink slowly, savoring the sweet warmth as it melted the tension in her chest.

“Bluebell? Is that you?”

The voice made her jump, and she turned to see a tall, curvy woman with dark hair and sharp eyes approaching her table. China, one of the old SAMCRO girlfriends, stood there in tight jeans and a leather jacket, her presence as commanding as ever.

“Lord have mercy,” Bluebell muttered under her breath, setting her cup down. “China? What the hell you doin’ all the way out here?”

China smirked, crossing her arms as she took a seat across from Bluebell without waiting for an invitation. “Could ask you the same thing, country girl. Ain’t nobody seen or heard from you since… well, since everything went down.”

Bluebell’s lips tightened, and she leaned back in her chair, her arms folding protectively over her chest. “Ain’t much to talk about. Needed a fresh start, so I packed up and left. End of story.”

China raised a perfectly sculpted brow. “Fresh start, huh? From what I heard, you had plenty of reasons to leave, but fresh starts don’t come easy. Especially not for someone with your history.”

Bluebell’s jaw clenched. “Look, I didn’t come here to rehash old business. What’s done is done.”

China leaned forward, her voice softening just a touch. “You know it don’t work like that, Bluebell. You can run, but you can’t outrun who you are—or the people tied to you.”

The words stung, but Bluebell kept her face neutral. “I ain’t runnin’. Just livin’ my life the best way I know how. And that don’t include gettin’ tangled up in SAMCRO drama no more.”

China studied her for a moment, then leaned back with a knowing smile. “Fair enough. But you might wanna watch your back, sugar. The past has a funny way of sneakin’ up on you when you least expect it.”

Bluebell’s stomach churned, but she refused to let it show. She tipped her hat toward China, her voice as steady as the Appalachian hills she’d grown up in. “Thanks for the advice. But I reckon I’ll take my chances.”

China stood, her smirk widening. “Suit yourself. But you and I both know this story ain’t over.”

Bluebell watched her saunter out of the café, her mind racing. She gripped her latte a little tighter, the heat burning her palms as if to keep her grounded. She’d left Charming behind for a reason, but seeing China stirred up a feeling she couldn’t shake.

The past wasn’t just a memory—it was a shadow. And shadows always found a way to follow.

The café door swung shut, the bell tinkling faintly behind China as she disappeared into the sunlight. Bluebell sat frozen for a moment, her fingers gripping the warm latte like it was the only thing anchoring her to reality. Her mind churned with the memory of China’s smirk, her words dripping with unspoken truths.

Her gaze drifted to the window, where two identical little boys played in the backseat of her car, their giggles muffled by the glass. Witt and Wyatt were the reason she’d kept moving forward, the reason she’d rebuilt her life from the ashes of her marriage.

Bluebell smiled faintly as she watched them. Witt, the quieter of the two, was flipping through the pages of a tattered picture book, his brow furrowed in concentration. Wyatt, on the other hand, was a ball of energy, making exaggerated faces at his brother to try to get a laugh. Their sandy blonde hair and piercing blue eyes were all Jax, a daily reminder of the man she’d loved and lost. The boys both shared her tanned coily curly texture, plump lips, rounded nose and caught their sunny tanned skin from her as well.

Her heart ached at the thought, but she quickly pushed it aside. Witt and Wyatt didn’t need her tears—they needed her strength.

Gathering her things, Bluebell left the café and slid into the driver’s seat. As soon as she opened the door, Wyatt’s voice filled the car. “Mama! Witt said we’re gonna see sharks, but I told him we can’t, ’cause sharks live in the ocean, not at the park!”

Witt sighed, ever the little old man in a child’s body. “I didn’t say that, Wyatt. I said they got a shark tank at the aquarium. That’s different.”

Bluebell chuckled, her thick country accent softening the edges of her words. “Boys, y’all keep arguin’, and we ain’t goin’ nowhere but straight home. Ain’t nobody got time for all that fussin’.”

Both boys quieted immediately, though Wyatt crossed his arms with an exaggerated pout that made her grin.

As she drove toward the aquarium, her thoughts drifted back to China’s words. You and I both know this story ain’t over. The past wasn’t something Bluebell wanted to revisit, but it wasn’t just about her anymore.

Witt and Wyatt were growing up fast. They deserved to know their roots, even if those roots were tangled and messy. For years, she’d kept the truth about Jax from them, convinced they were better off without the weight of his world. But as much as she wanted to protect them, she couldn’t shield them forever.

The boys needed answers. And deep down, so did she.

The thought of returning to Charming made her stomach twist. But if she didn’t go back, the questions would keep piling up. Questions about their father. About what kind of legacy Witt and Wyatt would inherit.

As the boys chattered in the backseat, her grip tightened on the steering wheel. Maybe it was time to stop running. Maybe it was time to face the past head-on—for her boys, if not for herself.

The sign for the aquarium came into view, and Bluebell forced herself to smile. “Alright, y’all, we’re here. Y’all ready to see them sharks?”

“Yeah!” the boys shouted in unison, their excitement filling the car.

But as Bluebell parked and led her boys toward the entrance, the weight of her decision hung heavy in her chest. She didn’t know what would happen when she returned to Charming, but one thing was certain: she couldn’t keep running from her shadow.

Bluebell felt the weight of the bar’s dim lighting press against her as she stepped further inside. The air was thick with smoke and the chatter of men in leather jackets, some of them glancing her way, but none with the familiarity of what she used to know. She could feel the pulse of the place in her bones, but it wasn’t home. No, it hadn’t been home in years.

Her boys were in tow, eager and innocent, oblivious to the ghosts of their mother’s past that still haunted every corner of places like this. Witt and Wyatt had begged her to come, not really understanding what they were walking into, just excited to see the bikes and the flashing lights. And Bluebell couldn’t deny them a moment of fun. Not when they still had so little.

“Look, Mama! Big bikes!” Wyatt’s voice rang out with excitement as they passed a row of gleaming motorcycles parked against the wall. His finger pointed at the sleek black machine, the chrome shining under the low lights.

Witt, the quieter twin, eyed the bike warily before his voice cut through the buzz of the crowd. “What’s that bike doin’ here?” He was squinting, as if trying to figure out how it fit into a world he didn’t understand.

Bluebell followed his gaze, her heart stuttering when she saw him.

Jax.

Standing by his bike, his back to her, talking to a few of the guys in the club. The sight of him, in his familiar leather cut, made everything feel like it was spinning too fast. He hadn’t seen her yet, but she could feel the tension in her chest, like he was pulling at the threads of a life she’d spent so long trying to forget.

But before she could turn away, Wyatt—oblivious as always—bounded ahead, eager to get a closer look at the bikes. Witt followed more cautiously, tugging at Bluebell’s sleeve. “Mama... what’s wrong with that one?”

She glanced down at him, unsure how to answer. But Witt was already pointing at Jax’s bike, his voice raised in his usual blunt way, cutting through the noise of the bar.

“That bike’s all loud and shiny... why’s it gotta be like that? Ain’t nobody gonna ride that, are they?” Witt’s tone was matter-of-fact, like a child confused by something he couldn’t quite explain.

Bluebell’s chest tightened, a knot twisting in her stomach. She knew what he meant. Jax’s bike wasn’t just loud—it was a symbol, a reminder of everything she’d walked away from. Of the man who once stood beside her, now a shadow in the corner of her mind.

“Witt, honey shh,” Bluebell murmured, her hand hovering over her son’s shoulder, urging him to quiet down. “Don’t be rude. That bike’s just... a fancy one. Some folks like 'em like that.”

But Witt, ever the curious soul, wasn’t finished. He crossed his arms over his chest, scrunching up his nose in confusion. “Looks like it’s gotta be mean if it’s all shiny like that. Too much... too much for a kid like me.” He kicked at the ground, unimpressed by the glamour of the bike.

Bluebell’s lips tightened. It was hard to explain to her innocent children that some things didn’t have simple answers. Not when those things were tangled in love, pain, and the years she’d spent away from this world.

Her heart stuttered again as Jax’s figure loomed larger in her peripheral vision. He hadn’t turned around yet, but she could feel the inevitability of this moment drawing closer. Bluebell had been trying to shield her boys from the past, from their father’s legacy, but it felt like the past was making its way back to them on two wheels.

“Mama, do you think we could ride that one? Or is it too loud?” Wyatt piped up, pointing to a nearby bike that was less imposing but still impressive.

“Maybe later,” Bluebell answered, her voice steady but her insides shaking. “Come on, let’s go get some lemonade first. It’s too noisy around here.”

As they turned away, Witt threw one last glance over his shoulder, still eyeing Jax’s bike like it was some kind of mystery he couldn’t solve. “That bike’s got too much power. Why’s it gotta be like that?” he muttered to no one in particular.

Bluebell could only shake her head, not sure how to explain a world her boys would never fully understand. Not yet, anyway.

But as she walked them toward the back of the room, where a quieter corner offered them some space, she couldn’t escape the feeling that her past wasn’t done with her. Not by a long shot. And as the sound of Jax’s voice rang out just behind her, she realized that their paths had crossed again, whether she was ready or not.

[i-didnt-do-1t]

cw. mentioned death.

It wasn’t the first time her and Jack had fought, she wasn’t sure if she could include the argument on the rooftop, but they’d had their fair share of petty fights since.

This didn’t feel petty though, it felt far too real, and charged and she didn’t get angry like this often but he was making her sound like she was crazy.

“I still don’t know what you’re talkin’ about.”

“You do, I know you do.” She paused, waiting for him to respond or turn to face her, watching the way the muscles on his back worked as he reached up to paint the top left corner of a new back drop for Medda. “Jack would you look at me-“

“I’m paintin’, Kathy.”

“We’re having a conversation.”

“I can multi-task.”

She tensed her jaw, could feel a quiet aching creeping up her throat and tried to swallow it down but it didn’t help.

“You’re being rude.”

“Kathy.” It was spat and overtly unapologetic, his back still turned to her though she could see the white knuckle grip he had on his paintbrush. “Sorry that I weren’t taught etiquette like the guys you grew up around, but could just let me work? And stop asking about stuff I ain’t wanna talk about?”

“I’m not trying to be invasive. There’s no need to be so horrible.”

When he didn’t turn around, and didn’t answer, she tightened her arms around herself, folded over her chest.

“Fine.”

The slight heels of her shoes echoed around the auditorium as she stormed out, maybe Jack looked at her then, felt sick the way she did whenever they argued and it was real and serious, but she didn’t turn around to check.

She slammed the door behind her.

…

She didn’t mean to end up at the distribution gate, the path was familiar these days and she frequently walked the cobblestoned streets to meet Jack when he collected the evening edition but it was nearer night now, the sky dark and drizzling with rain and if she was cold she wouldn’t admit it.

There were still two figures, just inside the gate, loading excess piles of papers into a cart, and one of them brushing up the courtyard in a way that felt pointless considering it was late autumn. The one at the cart threw his head back in what looked like a laugh and Katherine almost felt bad interrupting but curiosity and anger had brewed into a concoction of stubbornness in the pit of her stomach.

“Excuse me?” The gate creaked open under her touch. “Mr delancey?”

It had been months since she last talked to them, had no reason to run into them aside from the strike, but she’d seen them around her father’s office, always together, always scowling.

They both stopped to look at her, as she stepped into the yard, aware of the mud staining the hem of her dress and the way it splattered across her shoes.

“Pulitzer?” It was Oscar, she was fairly certain, though she couldn’t say for sure. Tall, and messy brown curly hair and dark eyes as glared at her. “The hell do you want. Kelly ain’t here.”

“I know he’s not.” She hesitated, observed the way the two of them shared a look. “I wanted to ask you something.”

Oscar raised an eyebrow. “Yeah?”

She swallowed.

“I- the last time I spoke to you, in my father’s office, you mentioned that Jack had a brother.” Oscar’s expression shifted. “Was his name Michael, by any chance?”

The silence, aside from the city settling down for the evening, seemed to stretch, only to be interrupted by Oscar barking out a laugh.

“Yeah. Yeah, the kid was called Michael. Why do you wanna know. Kelly ain’t told you?” His voice was amused.

If she wasn’t so frustrated, she knew she wouldn’t reveal something so personal, and she wasn’t doing it to be mean, she reassured herself, she just had to know. How on earth was she meant to help Jack if she didn’t know.

Still, It wasn’t all that comforting a thought, especially not as Oscar looked at her, leaning back casually against the cart he’d just been loading, a gleam of something cruel in his eyes.

Or maybe it was just the street lamp.

“Jack’s been saying it in his sleep.” She said, instead of acknowledging it. “And waking up crying, night terrors, I assume.”

“Yeah. He used to get those.”

“So. Why. Over what. I know- I know the refuge was bad but I don’t quite understand-“

“Michael’s dead.”

The stubbornness in her stomach turned to lead. “What?”

“Michael. Kelly’s brother.” He spoke slowly, like she was stupid, shoving a hand in his pocket and pulling out a box of cigarettes as he did so, “he died, and cowboy pretty much killed him.”

“No. No, Jack wouldn’t-“

“You want a smoke?”

Her hands were shaking, she was freezing. The box was being held out to her and she acted on instinct, reaching for one. His fingers were freezing and ink stained where hers brushed his, short bitten fingernails lined with dirt and grit.

“Jack wouldn’t.” She repeated.

“Maybe not on purpose.” He fished a match from a different pocket. “But he loaded him on the back of the carriage, tryna escape the refuge y’know. Like a fuckin’ idiot. And the kid fell off. Cracked his head open and then got run over by the back wheel.”

He said it casually as he lit the end of his cigarette. Like it was nothing.

.

“What.”

Her voice was a croak.

Oscar inhaled smoke and scoffed at her.

“Cowboy got out and Michael didn’t. Could see it from the window.”

“Oh. my god.”

“S’ probably reachin’ that time a year. It was near christmas, I think. Right mo?”

“Yeah. Yeah. cause Snyder gave folk turkey at dinner a couple weeks later.”

“Oh yeah. Course. It was shit.”

The cold air was biting. Katherine could feel it down to her bones.

“I- wait. So Jack-“

“Yeah. Fuckin’ stupid. Kelly can have a go at me all he fuckin’ wants. But at least I kept my wee brother alive.”

“But-“

“You can tell when you know, you see how he acts with the tiny Jacobs? It’s like he forgets sometimes, that he ain’t his.”

That backs of her eyes burned, the aching from the back of her throat creeping up the base of her skull and she had to press a palm over her mouth, gaze blurring with tears.

“Are you cryin’, Pulitzer?”

She was sure she was going to throw up.

“Christ. It was ages ago. Cryin’ ain’t gonna do shit. But it’s probably why he’s havin’ nightmares.”

He exhaled smoke as he spoke, and the smell of it turned Katherine’s stomach.

She pictured Jack again, alone in the theatre, covered in paint and the way she knew he roughly wiped away angry tears with the back of his hand.

The empty look in his eyes when he’d wake up from one of those dreams, pushing away the hand that was carding through his hair, breathing heavy and ignoring her and pressing the heels of his palms to his eyes.

“You gonna smoke that or jus’ hold it.”

She let her hand fall, wordlessly handed back the cigarette. Oscar hesitated.

Held her gaze.

“I dunno actually.” He paused, gave her a once over. “Maybe you should smoke it.”

Beside him Morris nodded, exhaling a lung full of smoke into the cold air.

“It helps.”

[buckets-and-trees]

Up to this point, Andy has been relentless about using your body against you but always to satisfying ends for his pleasure and yours. In the future, this is a weekend that I want to come back and write from Andy's perspective. For reasons. One of those reasons being that with the first encounter, your line of questioning threw him just slightly, and so he cut off the encounter. The next day, he specifically wanted to torture you a bit by "not having time" because... yeah. It's his cars, his security team, his lawyer - everyone would wait for him if he wanted to insist on fucking you there in the foyer before leaving. 😏

I really want to continue riding this true line of soft!dark with him - he's neither one exclusively. He's used to being the emperor of his kingdom, sharing no power, making all the calls, manipulating others, getting everything he wants.

AND

Going back to the very first, maintaining the fact that reader did have a legitimate interest in Andy that she sort of filed away as a silly/superfluous crush because 1) he was her client, and 2) she didn't think he would've been interested and so if he had only asked, she would have been so open to starting off exploring a relationship in the traditional way - dates, texting, courting, not entrapment/forcing to sleep with/get engaged/possessive forever from a domineering Andy. The attraction never went away, the spoiling, the fleeting soft moments... it's all a complicated web of feelings and emotions.

THANK YOU FOR SHARING YOUR TAKE, KRIS! You always toss great thoughts at me! 🩵

Did you intend to prompt more I'm Your Man Andy with this? Perhaps not, Kris, but... IYM!Andy's track record doesn't support doing things because YOU want him to, does it? 😏

Title: Burned Off the Haze Characters/Pairings: soft!dark mafia Andy Barber x female!reader Word Count: 4.5k Summary: Things only continue to escalate after Andy's meeting your parents, and he only continues to keep his control of your lives together. Takes place directly after Don't Look Too Far.

Content/Warnings: emotional manipulation; mild smut: kissing, vaginal fingering; use of pet name (sweetheart)

Author Note: This is not a stand alone section! You can find the previous parts here.

A/N 2: No one should be surprised this man would make sure he got his week in the Countdown to Chris-mas!

You’re waiting impatiently for Andy to get home from his day at the country club with your father. You meet him at the top of the stairs leading from the garage on the lower level.

“When were you going to tell me you had decided on a wedding here in Boston instead of eloping?”

With casual determination, Andy wraps his strong arms around your waist and pulls you close. His lips meet yours in a passionate, all-consuming kiss that sends shivers down your spine. Every touch ignites a fire within you, the intensity of his embrace leaving you breathless and wanting more. The world starts to fade away as you get lost in the moment with him, but then you push against his chest and turn your head away.

“Andy! Answer me!” you insist as you extricate yourself from his arms - though he lets you go freely, not forcing you to stay in his embrace.

“I would have told you over dinner last night, but…” he trails off, giving you a meaningful look.

You step back, putting more distance between you and Andy. "But what? I was too busy smashing up your cars?"

“No, you largely refused to talk to me through dinner. And then after,” Andy's lips quirk in amusement, "we were otherwise occupied the rest of the evening, if you recall."

Heat rises to your cheeks at the memory of your passionate encounter. You push those thoughts aside, refusing to be distracted. "You made another huge decision without even consulting me."

“I only achieved what I have because I learned when to double down and when to pursue a different course of action,” Andy replies. “I thought you might prefer a proper wedding with your family and friends present."

You shake your head in frustration. "That's not the issue here, Andy. It's that you keep making these choices for us, for me, without including me in the process. Forcing our engagement, meeting my parents behind my back, making big calls about our wedding? What's next?"

Andy's eyes flash with irritation, his piercing blue gaze fixed on you. "After meeting your parents, I decided a small but proper wedding is the better move."

You narrow your eyes, sensing there's more to this sudden change of plans. "It can’t only be meeting my parents that inspired this change of heart; you’re not that sentimental."

Andy smirks. “Good assessment - your intelligence is one of the things that drew me to you. But your parents are good people who love you deeply,” he continues, his voice taking on a softer tone. “They've been dreaming of your wedding day probably since you were born. Your mother's eyes lit up when she talked about helping you choose a dress, about flowers and cake tastings. Your father... well, he tried to hide it, but I could see how much it would mean to him to walk you down the aisle."

He pauses, letting his words sink in. You feel a warmth in your heart for what he says about your parents because you know he’s not wrong, your mother had gushed about those very things while you had lunch together. But there’s also an ache in your throat because you’re so angry, you want to cry and yell and rage at him.

You take a deep breath, trying to steady yourself. "And how does this suit your purposes, Andy?"

His eyes darken slightly as he regards you. "A proper society wedding cements our union in the eyes of both our worlds - the legitimate business sphere and the less legitimate one. It sends a clear message about my intentions."

"Your intentions?" you press, feeling a chill run down your spine.

Andy steps closer, his imposing frame looming over you. "That you are mine, irrevocably. That I will protect what's mine with everything I have." His voice is low, almost a growl. "And that anyone who even thinks of touching you or using you against me will face severe consequences."

You swallow hard, torn between fear and an unwelcome flicker of desire at his possessive words. "I'm not a possession, Andy. You can't just stake your claim."

Andy's eyes flash dangerously and in one swift motion he has you pinned against the wall, his body pressing into yours. One hand grips your hip while the other cups your face, forcing you to meet his intense gaze.

"Can't I?" he growls, his voice low and rough. "You're wearing my ring. You're living in my home. You've shared my bed. Tell me, sweetheart, how are you not mine?"

Your breath catches in your throat. You want to argue, to push him away, but your traitorous body responds to his proximity. Heat pools in your core as his scent envelops you.

"I-" you start, but the words are cut off as Andy's mouth crashes down on yours.

The kiss is fierce, demanding, stealing your breath and your resistance. His tongue plunders your mouth as his body presses you firmly against the wall. You can feel every hard plane of his muscular form molded against your softer curves.

Despite your anger and frustration, your body betrays you. Your hands fist in his shirt, torn between pushing him away and pulling him closer. A moan escapes your throat, swallowed by his insistent lips.

Andy's hand slides from your hip to your thigh, hitching your leg up around his waist. The new angle allows him to grind against you, and you gasp at the friction. Your head falls back against the wall, breaking the kiss.

"Andy," you pant, your voice a mix of protest and plea.

He takes advantage of your exposed neck, placing hot, open-mouthed kisses along your throat. He trails his lips up to your ear. "You are mine," he growls, nipping at your earlobe. "Have I not made that clear from the first night I claimed you, sweetheart."

His words send a shiver down your spine. You want to argue, to deny the claim he's making on you, but your body is singing with need. Andy's hand slips under your shirt, his fingers tracing patterns on your skin.

"You can’t tell me you don't want this," he challenges, his voice husky. “I know your body too well now. If I put my hand between your legs, I know I’ll find you wet for me.”

Your breath catches in your throat as Andy's words send a rush of heat through your body. You know he's right - you can feel the slick evidence of your arousal. But you refuse to give in so easily.

"That doesn't mean anything," you say, trying to keep your voice steady. "My body's reactions don't change the fact that you're making decisions about our lives without me."

Andy pulls back slightly, his piercing blue eyes studying your face. His hand moves from under your shirt to cup your cheek, his touch surprisingly gentle.

"Old habits die hard, sweetheart. I'm used to making decisions and having them followed without question."

You blink in surprise at his admission. It's more than you expected from him.

"But if I left every decision up to you now, we'd never get anywhere," Andy continues, his thumb stroking your cheek. "You'd keep fighting this, keep denying what's between us."

You want to argue, but you know there's truth in his words. You've been resisting at every turn, even as your body betrays you with its desire for him.

"That doesn't make it right," you say softly, your anger deflating slightly. "I need to have a say in my own life, Andy. In our life together, if that's what this is going to be. Do you even want that? Want us?"

Andy's eyes search yours for a long moment. "We will have our wedding, and I have some stipulations, but I’ll leave the rest to you. September fifteenth, and we leave the next day for our honeymoon in Italy."

It's not what you want, but it's the first thing he’s giving you. You let out a shaky breath, nodding.

He steps away from you completely, and your body falls forward slightly without his pinning you to the wall. Once he steadies you, he begins to walk away.

“The wedding planners will be here tomorrow morning at ten, and then after lunch I need you to accompany me to a business meeting with one of my lawyers.”

You stand there for a moment, processing Andy's words. A mixture of emotions swirls within you - frustration at his continued control, a flare of disappointment of him leaving you unsatisfied, and apprehension about these meetings he has already arranged.

Shaking yourself out of your thoughts. "Wait," you call out. "Why are we meeting with a lawyer? Aren’t you technically a lawyer?”

“Yes,” he answers quickly, turning back to look at you briefly, “but does a doctor not have their own doctors?”

You nod, and he resumes his progress down the hall.

You watch Andy walk away, your mind reeling from the conversation and the intense moment you just shared. Part of you wants to call him back, to continue the argument or maybe even give in to the desire still thrumming through your body. But you stay silent, letting him go.

Once he's out of sight, you slump against the wall, taking deep breaths to calm your racing heart. The whiplash of emotions - anger, frustration, desire, and now a strange brand of hopeful wariness - leaves you feeling drained.

You push yourself off the wall and make your way to the room you’ve been given as a personal study. You need time to process everything that just happened. As you enter, your eyes land on the engagement ring glittering on your finger. You twist it absently, thinking about Andy's words.

A proper wedding. Your parents' joy. Andy's claim on you. It's all so overwhelming.

But what haunts you is was what he didn’t say.

Does he want a life together? Does he want an us?

Caught in the danger of that before, you were able to get away, but there’s no telling how dangerous Andy Barber is. You’ve only witnessed a fraction of his power and control. He’s created a connection with your parents. You have no doubt he knows far too much valuable information about your life, so would any kind of escape even be possible? And if it were, would anyone you left behind be safe?

In the room you’ve been given as your study, you spend some time tending to your collection of potted plants, carefully trimming away a few dead leaves and watering where you find dry soil. You settle into your favorite armchair and immerse yourself in a novel, getting lost in its pages until the housekeeper interrupts to announce that dinner is ready. You make your way to the dining room, but notice that your partner Andy is not there. When you ask about his absence, you’re told he went out to tend to some business. Afterwards, you retreat to the couch in the living room and watch old episodes of your favorite sitcom, finding comfort in the familiar characters and laughter.

You go to sleep alone for the first time since the night of his gala.

The hours tick by as you lay awake in bed, unable to sleep. The vast emptiness of the king-sized mattress seems to mock you, a stark reminder of Andy's absence. The night stretches on endlessly as you toss and turn in the vast, empty bed. The grandfather clock in the hallway chimes eleven, then midnight, then one. Where is Andy? What "business" could keep him out so late? You try to push away the nagging worry, reminding yourself that you shouldn't care, that his absence should be a relief. But a small traitorous part of your heart that has begun to yearn for his presence betrays you.

No, you don’t yearn for him. You’re just accustomed to him.

With each passing hour, your anxiety grows. Eventually you drift in and out of fitful sleep, your mind racing with thoughts of the day's events, the impending wedding, and the uncertain future that lies ahead.

You wake just enough to register Andy pulling your body to his chest as he settling in behind you. The first hints of dawn are only beginning to creep through the curtains, painting the room in soft hues of pink and gold, “Mmm, Andy?” you hum sleepily.

“Shh,” he coos, pressing a soft kiss to your neck, “you can sleep, sweetheart.”

And so you drift off again, unaware of your body softening in his arms.

But when your alarm goes off at seven, you’re alone in the bed once again.

You tell yourself you’re relieved.

You stretch and yawn, trying to shake off the lingering grogginess from your restless night. As you sit up, your eyes land on a note propped against the lamp on your nightstand. Andy's precise handwriting stares back at you:

Meeting ran late. Had to leave early for another. Remember - wedding planners at 10. Wear something nice for the lawyer meeting after lunch. - Andy

You crumple the note in your fist, a mixture of frustration and disappointment churning in your gut. Even when he's not here, Andy is directing your day. You force yourself out of bed, determined to at least choose your own outfit for the morning.

After a quick shower, you select a casual but stylish ensemble - fitted jeans and a soft, short sleeved sweater in a deep emerald green that brings out your eyes. As you're applying the last touches of makeup, your phone chimes with a text from your mom. The one silver lining with the turn of events after the weekend is that your relationship with your parents is back on track since you’re no longer hiding a sudden and inexplicable engagement to Andy.

After a solitary breakfast, you go back to your study and set to work at a beautiful desk near one of the windows, diving into emails and looking over the calendar of upcoming events and the needs for your team this week to be ready for your weekly 11am strategy session.

Back in the spring when you had taken on Andy Barber as a client for the largest gala and one of the largest events your company had ever planned, you had strategically not accepted any book dates for a full six weeks afterwards. You had wanted to ensure that everything went off perfect for the Barber Gala without compromising any events that would come right in its wake. The fee for the services of you and your team was more than enough to accommodate that break in the events schedule, and it was a decision that you were infinitely glad you had made as it had worked out well for suddenly being ensnared into Andy’s life. Rather than renting any formal office space, you and your team worked remotely and always went to clients and vendors or the event venue to meet rather than making them come to you. It had the added benefit of building rapport with people you worked with and enhancing your reputation as being a team who valued the partner you were working with.

With the break in the schedule and fully remote office, you had been able to fully put off any revelation about your new arrangements with your team of three. Even with the video chats, you’d simply used virtual backgrounds to mask your new surroundings.

You manage to wrap up the agenda for your 11am a few minutes before the wedding planners are expected to arrive. You tap your pen on your planner, mulling things over. Since events are in your blood, it’s possible you could wrap up an initial meeting with the wedding planners before your team’s meeting - especially because you’ve been through all this before, you know who the best vendors are, and you have stowed away a slew of ideas for the wedding you thought may at some point take place in the future with some unknown future husband. Worst case scenario, you’ll excuse yourself from Andy and the wedding planners for a few minutes at eleven to jump on the call, say you’ve got an awful headache or something, and hand over the meeting to your number two, Effy, and then get back to Andy. Something tells you Andy would not love you bailing completely at 11.

Satisfied enough with your game plan, you close your laptop and head toward the front of the palatial home to be present when the wedding planners arrive.

“Just in time,” Andy says as you enter the foyer.

You freeze momentarily at the sound and sight of Andy. He's leaning against the doorframe of his study, looking impeccable in a crisp white shirt and tailored slacks. His blue eyes rake over you appreciatively.

"You look nice," he says, his voice low and intimate.

“Thank you,” you respond, trying to keep your voice neutral.

He reaches you and cups your face in his hands, his thumbs gently stroking your cheeks. Before you can react, he leans in and captures your lips in a soft, lingering kiss. Despite your desire to stay simmering with anger at him, you find yourself melting into the kiss - as always, your hands coming to rest on his chest.

When he pulls back, his eyes are dark with desire. "Good morning, sweetheart," he murmurs.

You're about to respond when the doorbell chimes, signaling the arrival of the wedding planners. Andy's hands drop from your face, one sliding down to the small of your back as he guides you towards the door.

"Shall we?" he asks, his tone light but leaving no room for argument.

You nod, squaring your shoulders as Andy opens the door to reveal the wedding planners.

Better known as your team - Effy, Lila, and Dev.

They cheer and shout “Surprise” and “Congratulations” and rush in with champagne, flowers, and a platter of pastries and fruit from one of your favorite bakery vendors.

Your jaw drops as you stare at your team in disbelief. Effy, your right-hand woman, is beaming as she holds out a bottle of Dom Pérignon. Lila, your creative genius, is practically bouncing with excitement, her arms full of a stunning bouquet of peonies and garden roses in shades of blush and cream. Dev, your logistics wizard, balances a tray laden with an assortment of pastries from Maison de Sucre, the French bakery you've used for countless events.

"What... how?" you stammer, torn between shock, joy, and a surge of anger at Andy for orchestrating this without your knowledge.

"Andy called us yesterday," Effy explains, her eyes sparkling. "He thought you might appreciate some familiar faces to help plan your big day - and who else would you trust to plan a rush wedding?"

You turn to glare at Andy, but he merely smirks. You’re acutely aware of not only a need to keep up appearances, but a want to save face on your part, as well. So as they laugh at your glare, you quickly shift into a pleasant game face and channel the part of you that does want to share in the excitement of your team, and rush to give them hugs and usher them inside.

in just under two hours, most of your wedding is planned. Your team came prepared, knew your tastes, and had connections they were ready and eager to tap for your whirlwind wedding.

Playing the part of Andy’s blissfully happy fiancé to keep your team from suspecting anything was amiss had been difficult and yet simple in equal measure.

Andy offers to leave when you suggest that you touch base for the weekly strategy session, but your team encourages him to stay. So he does. You marvel at how masterfully he charms everyone around him. You know he often manages this with you, as well.

Everything is on track with your team for the upcoming events - including a redistribution of tasks and responsibilities that they’ve already discussed to lighten your load leading up to the wedding. They insist so you can take care of all the bride things they imagine you’ll be doing leading up to the nuptials. Your eyes meet Andy’s, and you see the glow of satisfaction radiating off of him.

Your team begins to pack up their materials. You feel a mix of emotions swirling inside you. On one hand, you're touched by their enthusiasm and grateful for their expertise, their thoughtfulness. On the other, you feel guilty for the deception, for allowing them to believe in a fairytale romance that doesn't truly exist.

"Well, I think we've made excellent progress," Effy says, closing her laptop with a satisfied smile. "We'll get started on the vendor contracts right away and have them ready for your review by tomorrow afternoon."

You nod and smile. "Thank you all so much. I... I don't know what to say."

Lila gives you a warm hug. "We're just so happy for you! And don't worry about a thing - we'll make sure your day is absolutely perfect."

“I know you will.”

As they gather their things and head towards the door, you notice Andy hanging back, eyes ever watching all your interactions.

You walk your team to the door, exchanging final hugs and promises to touch base soon. As Dev, the last to leave, steps out, he turns back with a grin.

"By the way, boss, nice job keeping this under wraps. We had no idea!"

You force a laugh, hoping it doesn't sound as hollow as it feels. "Well, you know me. I love a good surprise."

As soon as the door closes behind them, you lean against it, closing your eyes and taking a deep breath. When you open them, Andy is standing before you, his expression unreadable.

"That went well," he says casually.

You push off the door, anger flaring. "You had no right to involve my team without telling me."

Andy raises an eyebrow. "You wouldn’t have agreed, I know you’ll appreciate the gesture in the end, and they’re the best in the business, are they not?"

"That's not the point," you snap. "This is what we talked about yesterday! Making decisions without me!”

“This was already arranged before that discussion, and I didn’t want to ruin the surprise,” he says with a smirk. “You love a good surprise - you just said so yourself.”

You raise your hand to slap him, but he catches your wrist, his smirk vanishing, replaced with a stern look. You huff and try to pull away, but Andy's grip on your wrist tightens, his eyes darkening with a dangerous glint. In the next instant, he pulls you flush against his body, his other hand snaking around your waist to hold you in place. The sudden movement knocks the breath from your lungs, and you're acutely aware of every hard plane of his muscular form pressed against you.

"Careful, sweetheart," he growls, his voice low and menacing. "You seem to have forgotten who you're dealing with."

A chill runs down your spine as you're reminded of the power this man wields. The charming facade he'd worn for your team has vanished, replaced by the cold, calculating persona you've glimpsed before. His blue eyes, usually so captivating, now resemble chips of ice.

"Let me remind you," Andy continues, his breath hot against your ear. "I'm not just some wealthy businessman playing at power. I've built an empire, both in the light and the shadows. I've crushed men who dared to cross me."

His words send a shiver through you - fear and unwanted desire warring within. You try to push against his chest, but he doesn't budge.

"I'm not afraid of you," you say, your voice shakier than you'd like.

Andy chuckles darkly. "You have no reason to be as long as you don’t cross me."

He releases your wrist only to cup your face, forcing you to meet his intense gaze. "And here's the thing - I don't want you to fear me. But make no mistake - you are mine now. This is your life."

With lightning speed, Andy spins you around, pressing you face-first against the door. His body cages you in, one hand still gripping your wrist while the other slides up to wrap around your throat. Not choking, but asserting control. You gasp, your heart racing as Andy's lips brush against your ear. "The sooner you accept that, the easier things will be."

His hand tightens slightly on your throat, just enough to make breathing a conscious effort. You should be terrified, should be fighting to get away. But your traitorous body responds to his dominance, a rush of heat pooling low in your belly.

"Andy," you whisper, unsure if it's a plea or a protest.

“You'll be my wife, my partner. But you need to understand your place in this world we're building together."

He releases your throat, his hand sliding down to cup your breast through your sweater. You arch into his touch involuntarily, earning a dark chuckle from him.

"That's it," he growls. "Remember how good we are together.”

Andy's hand kneads your breast as his lips trail hot kisses down your neck. Despite your anger and frustration, a soft moan escapes your lips before you can stop it.

"That's it, sweetheart," Andy murmurs against your skin. "Let go of it all."

His free hand slides down your body, deftly unbuttoning your jeans. You know you should stop him, should push him away, but the heat of his body against yours, the skilled touch of his fingers, makes it hard to think straight.

Just as his hand slips beneath the waistband of your panties, there’s an insistent buzzing of his phone.

He answers the phone even as his fingers begin to work the slick lips of your cunt.

“Yes?” he prompts.

You can hear every word without the phone being put on speaker since Andy’s pressed up against you.

"Mr. Barber? The cars are ready for your lunch meeting, sir."

“Good. The future Mrs. Barber and I will be down in no more than ten minutes,” he says. There’s an acknowledgment on the other end of the line, and then hangs up.

Andy thrusts a finger inside you, making you gasp, before withdrawing his hand completely. “Go get changed,” he says, “you heard, we have our next appointment and need to be on our way.”

You're left breathless and frustrated as Andy steps away, his warmth disappearing from your back. Your body trembles with unfulfilled desire, and you have to resist the urge to reach for him, to beg him to finish what he started.

"Andy," you begin, your voice husky with need.

He cuts you off with a sharp look. "We don't have time. Go change. Now."

The command in his voice sends another shiver through you. You want to argue, to demand he explain himself, to finish what he started. But the ice in his eyes tells you it would be futile. With shaking hands, you button your jeans and smooth down your sweater.

"Fine," you say, trying to inject some venom into your voice.

You turn and head towards the stairs, feeling Andy's eyes on you the whole way.

↠ Main Masterlist | Aspen's Ask Box | Field Guide to the Forest

I do not do tag lists, but FOLLOW @buckets-and-stories and TURN ON NOTIFICATIONS to be updated any time I publish a new work!

[allastoredeer]

Rewatching episode 1 right now and sdofsljfkljk have we ever talked about how unhinged it was of Adam and Lute to just...sit in the dark while they waited for Charlie? Like, there was no reason they had to do that. Adam was trolling Charlie before he even met her.

And it HAD to be his idea too. I can totally imagine him insisting on sitting in the dark until Charlie showed up just so they could scare her, and the only reason Lute agreed was because he claimed it was an "intimidation" tactic, but he just thought it'd be hilarious and wanted to be an asshole.

[dykesynthezoid]

“Armand should get to just kill Marius” tbh if Armand ever killed Marius he would pull a Sada Abe. Who said that

[jewishcissiekj]

"wow I love reading comics and Pepe Larraz has an interesting style-" the panels of jean grey and polaris that were later traced by Joëlle Jones in Trial of the Amazons which incited drama on dctwt/cbtwt at the beginning of 2022: