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butwhatifidothis · 3 years ago

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So. Took a look into that fic @nilsh13 is going through the comments of. Dunno if I’ll actually go through the entire thing - 300k words is certainly a lot of words to read through, especially with it still updating, but I’ve read through/am reading through longer ones - but I jumped to the latest chapter to get a feel for where the fic’s at now.

I’m not halfway through the chapter and I have Words To Say lmao, under the cut

This is going to be as serious a critique about the sections I’ve selected as possible - I want to be clear why I think what is being written is not of high quality, pointing out specifically what I have wrong with it.

Here are some snippets of the fic (boldened), and following those snippets are my thoughts on them:

“My actions have caused immense turmoil, pitting friend against friend, mother against daughter, and brother against sister*,” muttered Edelgard, desperately trying to drive any hint of self-pity (emphasis mine) from her voice. “My best friend has been disowned by her family, Hubert and Ferdinand’s fathers are dead or imprisoned, and the woman I love is now deemed a heretic by the Church that once offered her shelter. The weight of my decisions seems to pull down all who are caught in the shadow of the Imperial crown.” The Flame Emperor gave Professor Hanneman a wan smile. “Whatever imagined slights you believe you have committed against me, they pale in comparison to the carnage my own words and deeds have unleashed.”

""I made my choice, the only choice I could make, and dragged this continent down to hell with me. It makes me a poor ruler, and an even baser person, but that was the path I knew I must take.""

“"It is funny you use the word ‘choice’, Miss Edelgard. When I resigned my title to study at Garreg Mach, I lost marriage prospects, became penniless outside of a small stipend…I even renounced the opportunity to have a family.” Hanneman smiled, his whole body suffused with melancholy. “Really, how could I dare to dream of bringing a daughter into a world this senseless and cruel, knowing that someday, she too, could be hurt in such a way? I…I would not survive it.” The man’s body shook. “I sacrificed those things, things I desperately wanted, because the chance to allow my sister to rest in peace was more important. And I would make that choice again, despite all that it has cost me. You are much the same.”"

"“But your sacrifices were your own,” protested the Emperor of Adrestia. “Thousands bleed for the choices that I have made, and sacrifice themselves for the cause that I have placed before them. There is a profound difference-“"

"“We are both wise enough to know a painful truth,” said the scholar with a melancholy smile. “No matter how grave the sins, no matter how many innocents suffer…there will be countless individuals who will defend the law not because it is just, or righteous, but because it is the law. They will permit a hundred Abysses, and a thousand women to be raped, and a million dead children, as long as such actions do not disturb their order.” He placed a hand on Edelgard’s shoulder. “To stand against such moral rot, knowing that the world will despise and vilify you for it, is the truest sign of not only a just ruler, but a good woman.”"

"The academic’s words blazed with the passion of both a scholar and a man who had watched his world crumble to ash. A man who had been forced to live in the remnants of a life forever altered by the cruelty of both society and of humanity. And yet he had fought, the only way he could, to make the world better. It gave the Flame Emperor new resolve."

"“I…” He turned and looked away. “I believe in you, Miss Edelgard. When I see you, and your determination, your spirit, your bravery in choosing not what is easy, but what is right…it reminds me of her.” Fingers clenched around his locket. “I will fight for you, in the way I should have fought for my sister, long ago. My strength is meagre, and my courage more meagre still. However, all of it is yours.”"

The author writes Edelgard as one trying to give pity onto herself for her actions, despite how negatively they affect her, due to the immense ramifications those actions have had on those both around her and those under her care. This is the appropriate response to someone who has done as morally dubious an action as starting and spearheading a war that has led to the deaths and suffering of countless innocent people, some of whom were undoubtedly already going through immense suffering without war compounding itself onto their already existing pain. She - rightfully - points as, as a negative towards herself, that she has forced thousands of people to sacrifice their lives, livelihoods, friends, family, homes, etc. in order to continue with her war. Edelgard's canonical self-justification - that she had no other choice to do this - is properly utilized, and further characterization is given to her when she herself recognizes that performing such horrendous actions on the people under her care makes her a poor ruler and terrible person. This is, in truth, a decent set-up for her to go onto a possible path of redemption or self-realization.

However, that progress is forcibly stopped and reverted by Hanneman justifying her actions and recontextualizing them in a morally good light. In fact, the entire story does this, as characters act wildly out of character in order for Edelgard to be seen as good in comparison to them. Focusing on the quoted lines, however, Hanneman relating him giving up nobility and going into momentary poverty - whether true to canon or not - to Edelgard's war actively paints her actions as something that she had a right to be making, which she does not, as they force others to make sacrifices for her cause. When she herself rightfully points this discrepancy out, Hanneman excuses her actions by pointing to another - supposed - source of turmoil and essentially saying "You are more right than x, therefore your y actions are not only better, but objectively good, and make you a good person." He says nothing of the inherent injustice of taking away the choice of the people to live as they want and fight for who they want as well as deliberately taking away any semblance of safety from them, and makes objective statements about Edelgard's moral righteousness despite her taking actions that would, by definition, make her moral righteousness a subjective matter at minimum.

Hanneman is projecting the image of his sister and his own personal sense of justice onto Edelgard, and thus sees her as just as much a victim of the war and society as everyone else. Edelgard is a young woman who has gone through trauma due to Crests, as was his sister, and he himself (in this story, though not within the quoted lines) wanted to beat the man who abused his sister to death, and so he sees Edelgard using violence as a means to achieve justice as not only not questionable, but morally good and brave, as he felt he was not brave enough to enact "justice" onto the man that caused his sister's death. Instead of this being settled, focused on, or even mentioned, despite its obvious nature due to deliberate connections Hanneman himself makes, it is used as a means to showcase that Hanneman is a, for lack of a better term, "expert" on what he is saying when speaking to Edelgard. He knows what it's like to want to force change, he has by-proxy experienced the apparent injustice of the Church - not human society, not his family's decision to allow his sister to be married off, not the man who caused her death's decision to discard her, but strictly the Church and only the Church - and so he can "rightfully" justify and excuse Edelgard's morally questionable actions and paint them in a solely positive light, with no nuance or gray whatsoever.

Edelgard, in the first quote, attempts to say her actions without a tone of self-pity, and yet the narrative itself pities Edelgard. She should be allowed to feel bad about her actions - not because they are causing unfathomable suffering on people who were underserving, but because they’re just hard decisions that she was good and brave to make and maybe she can feel a little bad for herself for making them. She shouldn't feel responsible for choosing to start the war - in fact, did she really have a choice, or did everyone else in society force her to? She shouldn't question whether she's a good person or not, because she simply is - no debate, no question. She is - “justly” - standing up against "moral rot"; that she does so with even more moral rot is irrelevant, because, according to the story, it is not as rotten as that she's up against, therefore it is no longer rotten in the first place. War has been completely justified, as it is now not the last resort of desperation that could only ever be morally grey at its absolute best, but an objectively morally white decision of an objectively morally white person who is facing an objectively morally black opponent.

The actions of other characters attempt to paint Edelgard as someone closer to the former, but I will - maybe - eventually go over how those characters are extremely mischaracterized in order to prop Edelgard as their moral superior.

#anti edelgard #Anti-edelgard #Edelgard critical #o captain my captain #<- borrowing nilsh's tag for this lmao in case I do end up continuing this #but yeah from just the latest chapter there are characters that 100% cheerlead for the pure righteousness that is Edelgard #so yeah that's... gonna be fun lmao

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wonglix · 4 years ago

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➺ ᴀᴛᴇᴇᴢ: ᴡʜᴇɴ ᴛʜᴇʏ ʜᴀᴠᴇ ᴀ ᴄʀᴜsʜ

⤷ fluff

*•.¸♡ hongjoong ♡¸.•*

hongjoong would be a bit shy at first, until he realised that keeping his distance from you to avoid getting nervous wouldn’t benefit him in his mission to get closer to you

he’d love to invite you over a bit more often, starting slowly by making sure there always were other members around because it would be weird if he’d ask you to spend time alone with him all of a sudden

he’d come up with excuses like “we need opinions on our new choreography!”, “we’re not sure if the song sounds right, could you listen to it?”

slowly but surely he’d start to invite you while less and less members were around until it was just the two of you and he realised that these moments, just you and him sitting and talking were definitely his favourite ones

this would also confirm his crush for him, since he was doubting his feelings a bit. seeing you joking around with him in his studio, listening to him rant about some irrelevant stuff his members did that seemed like the biggest problem at that moment would really hammer home the fact that he did indeed fall for you

he’d start to be a bit more touchy, his hand resting on yours, brushing hair out of your face, innocently letting his hand rest on your knee, tugging you closer to him when he was showing you something on his phone.

he’d also begin to be a bit more bold when asking you to spend time, offering to let you stay the night if it was late, taking you to his favourite restaurant, meeting up at a convenience store at 3 am just to have some cheap ramen and talk about anything.

a cutie that gets really soft once he confirms his feelings, getting close to you one pretty smile and hand holding at a time

*•.¸♡ seonghwa ♡¸.•*

he’s already very caring, protective and gentle, but once he started crushing on someone he’d essentially just start showering them in love whenever he could

he’d check in on you way more frequently, always asking how you’re doing and if you’ve eaten. he’d be the one to walk you home whenever you visit them, and if it got too late he’d offer to sleep on the couch to you could sleep in his bed

i feel like his caring nature could be very easily be mistaken as brotherly and he knows that, so he makes sure to flirt with you from time to time, just to hammer home the fact that he is interested in you.

he wants to make sure that you slowly start to understand that there’s a reason you’re always the first one he serves dinner to, or that there is a reason that makes him value your opinion over anyone else’s

he’d accidentally brush your hands together and wink at you once you look at him, would compliment you very cheekily and might even drop a cringy pickup line here and there

he loves to take care of you and he’s the first one to show up when you mention that you’re not feeling well. it’s hard for him to keep his feelings to himself when you’re laying there like that, glossy eyes and weak smile on your face

he might’ve mentioned something about having fallen for you while you were having a bad fever, rendering you unable to remember anything. he was glad you didn’t remember, he wanted it to be special once he confessed; something you could think back to that would make your cheeks flush and heart race

caring, flirty love bug that just wants to take care of you and cuddle you close to him and make you happy

*•.¸♡ yunho ♡¸.•*

yunho would probably be quite obvious, showing all the telltale signs of someone having a crush: he’d be glued to your side with a constant blush on his face, he’d giggle at everything you said whether it was actually funny or not and he was trying his absolute hardest to make you laugh, even if it meant embarrassing himself

his members caught on fairly quickly and kept teasing him about it, getting closer to you on purpose to make him jealous. yunho hated the fact that he couldn’t really do anything, he couldn’t just walk up to you and san as you were sitting extremely closely together on the couch and demand san’s seat, right?

so a lot of his pining was spent observing you and his members, how they would purposefully hug you just a second too long, hold your hand just a bit too much, sit next to you just a tad bit too closely - it all got on his nerves and he made sure to nag them once you left. it might be childish but he was scared that you might fall for one of them, that you might interpret their closeness as flirting.

after realising that making him jealous wouldn’t lead to him confessing but rather to him doubting himself the others knocked it off for yunho’s sake. they ended up hyping him up a lot, telling him to just do the same they did - staying close to you and making you see him in a different light

they kept hyping him up and mysteriously vanishing every time you came over from them on, leaving you two alone and causing poor yunho to almost suffer from multiple heart attacks because wow, you’re so pretty!!

even though he was close to you and always made sure to stay close to you, he also ensured that you would be comfortable around him. if you had a bad day and didn’t want him so close to you he would understand, scooting away and listening to you talk about what’s been bothering you

he’s also ready to shower you in all the affection you need though, wrapping you in his arms when you come to him crying, his heart hurting and his mind telling him to press a little kiss to your head, just a small peck to calm you down-

all in all he’s very obvious and soft, his heart definitely on his sleeve and you would be lying if you said you didn’t notice the way he smiled at you with hearts in his eyes every time your eyes met

*•.¸♡ yeosang ♡¸.•*

he’d be so incredibly shy once he realised that he had a crush and it would definitely take him a while to warm up to them again

everytime he’d see you he’d feel his hands get sweaty and his mind was racing; what was he supposed to talk to you about? would you be uncomfortable if he sat next to you? he really wants to hold your hand but god, that’d be so random and out of place, he couldn’t possibly do that

it was really hard for him to be nice to you again, scared of outing his feelings if he ended up being too gentle with you. he wasn’t ready to confess yet, he didn’t even know how to yet and the last thing he’d want is for his crush to just get exposed without him planning to

he would probably confide in some of his members, hoping that they could help him out with the problem at hand. they’d give him some tips on how to subtly get closer to you, how to express his feelings without actually confessing

while he was still shy and a bit quiet around you, he managed to get himself to spend some time alone with you. he realised that his pounding heart and the occasional shy stammer were nothing compared to the happiness he felt when he talked to you, so he began to talk to you more often

on the phone, on face time, when you came to visit them - you and yeosang were talking a lot, and while he still got the soft blush on his cheeks and sweaty hands he’s more than happy to spend time with you

over time the casual talks would evolve into deeper ones, the two of you confiding into each other. this would mean a lot to him and it took everything in him to keep himself from kissing you

shy sweetheart takes some time to come out of his shell but once he does, he swears there is no place better than with you next to him

*•.¸♡ san ♡¸.•*

san would turn into a bit of a show off, doing his absolute best to get his crush to praise him and swoon over him, like look at me!! did you see that? yeah, you saw that. amazing, right? yeah, amazing

though he liked showing off, he caught himself getting soft and mushy over you a lot. it’s hard for him to keep his crush to himself, so he confessed his feelings towards you to his members and to his surprise they all already knew somehow

like?? how could they’ve possibly known?? he was so discreet while balancing three plates on his head while trying to jump rope just to get you to laugh??

he doesn’t mind making a fool of himself as long as it meant to hear you laugh and giggle at him, but what made his heart flutter the most was by far the way you’d scold and care for him every time he accidentally hurt himself during one of his skits

his mind was racing and his heart pounding, a lovestruck smile etched on his face while you were frantically searching for a bandaid. all he could think about was that there was no way you’d care for him this much if you didn’t like him too, right?? no way you’d be so mad at him for accidentally hurting himself like that!!

while san loves to get praise and see you gush over him and care for him, he was also very big on showering you in praise and adoration. every time you told him about something you achieved he was there to hype you up, to praise you and tell you how well you did

he would get so happy for you that he sometimes couldn’t hold back and you would occasionally feel a very gentle, almost unnoticeable kiss being pressed to the to of your head while he was crushing you in a hug

adorable goofy show off that really is just a very soft gushy mess for you on the inside, that sometimes struggles with keeping all the affection he has for you to himself

*•.¸♡ mingi ♡¸.•*

it’s like a lightbulb went off over mingi’s head once seonghwa asked him if he planned on confessing to you. he genuinely just thought that he really enjoyed your company and that that was the reason for his blushed cheeks and pounding heart

he didn’t expect to fall for you so the signs were a bit unclear to him but once he knew, he could barely think about anything but you and the others would catch him just sitting somewhere, daydreaming with a dumb smile on his face

he keeps asking you to go to places with him, if it’s grocery shopping, visiting an arcade or just going to the company to record - he thrives off of your presence and he’s addicted to the bubbly feeling in his chest he gets when he’s around you

he used to be quite open when it came to his work, mingi loved showing you what he was working on; now he’s just way too shy to show you what he’s working on because he catches himself writing about you a lot and it makes his cheeks burn every time he realises that his mind drifted to you again

he fell for you and wanted to be with you, but he also fell in love with the idea of crushing on you; the shy glances and the way you’d look into each other’s eyes just a bit too long for it to be friendly excited him a lot. yeah he was shy and feels his heart hammer in his chest at the smallest things you do, but it’s such a nice feeling to make you smile and look at him with eyes as enchanting as yours

he enjoys seeing the occasional blush spread on your cheeks a lot and it made him fantasize about how nice it would be if you were dating because he wants nothing more than to kiss those pink cheeks, to have you giggle in embarrassment in his arms-

he likes to take you to experience new things, the thought of sharing memories with you all too exciting for him to pass up. he tends to innocently take your hand in his, excuses flowing out of his mouth each time, “i don’t want to lose you!”, “i know the way”, “it’s dark and i feel better like this”

lovestruck honeypie that is not only in love with you but also with the idea of loving you and crushing on you

*•.¸♡ wooyoung ♡¸.•*

wooyoung would amp his teasing up to the max, almost making it seem like he was picking on you while simultaneously flirting shamelessly

he’d never took it too far though, always very in touch with your feeling and hyper aware of the smallest changes in your behaviour or facial expressions

he never wants to hurt your feelings with his snarky comments or make you feel uncomfortable around him with his weird flirting. the second he notices that you’ve stopped giggling at his antics, he immediately stops

as confident as he was, he was still too shy and nervous to just confess - which leads to him relentlessly teasing you all the time. he’d either tease you about things you do or say, or simply try to make you nervous because how dare you make him this feel this shy? that’s not fair, so now it’s your turn to be nervous!

he’d love to show up randomly, taking you out for a spontaneous dinner or a calming late night walk - anything to spend some time with you

he always uses the excuse that “the others are asleep”, “they’re all busy”, “they don’t like that restaurant” even though the only thing he wanted to tell you was “i just wanted to see you”

he tries his best to keep his teasing masquerade up, refusing to let the soft part of him take over. he doesn’t want to think about how beautiful you look when you laugh at one of his mindless jokes, how stunning it is to watch your expressions change while you’re telling a story, how incredibly cute it is when you struggle with something, how bad he wants to press a kiss to your tear-stained cheeks when-

a teasing softie that has to figure out a more efficient way to get closer to you apart from picking on you and making you blush with his excessive flirting

*•.¸♡ jongho ♡¸.•*

jongho could be described as “confused”. he wasn’t really sure what to make of his racing heart and sweaty palms at first until it finally clicked - which made him switch from “confused” to “panicked”, back to “confused” because he had no idea what to do

he didn’t know how to handle his feelings, on one hand he just wanted to tell you what he felt and hold your hand and maybe even give you a little kiss on your cheek. and maybe he’d be confident enough to kiss the cute little pout away you get every time he teases you, and oh how badly he wants to take you out to his favourite restaurant, just the two of you, and-

on the other hand though, he was also really nervous, like what if you didn’t see him that way? what if you were in love with someone else? his mind was racing just as bad as his heart was and it was draining

every time you interacted he was torn between flirting with you, making you realise that he thought of you as more than just friends and continuing to treat you as a simple friend, staying in his lane

it ended with him being very flirty and playful with you one day, and very distant and quiet on the next. he kept going back and forth, never knowing what exactly he’s supposed to do - one day he’ll hold your hand while walking, the next he’ll not even sit next to you

it left you confused while jongho was panicking inside, because oh god, why did i scoot away? oh wow, they’re smile is so pretty! i like y/n so much, i really want to-

while he was usually calm and collected on the outside, nervous or affectionate thoughts were bouncing around in his mind. you did manage to break through his calm exterior, making him blush and giggle shyly. it was really hard for him to decide which approach it will take and you will definitely realise that something’s going on at some point

a little shy and unsure, but is genuinely very infatuated with you. has to figure out how to approach you and has a hard time calming his thoughts when he’s with you

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choco-mark · 5 years ago

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One Day Closer (1)

pairings: soulmate!jaemin x soulmate!oc

genre: fluff | smut | a little angst if you squint

warnings: language, masturbation (fem. + m.), mentions of sex, mentions of underage drinking

summary: in a world where soulmates can hear each other’s thoughts, you slowly fall in love with your soulmate, though it takes you an eternity to realize who it really is.

words: 6.6k

parts: one | two

note: y/n and jaemin’s thoughts are written in italics

a part of the You Are Me series!!

7 April

Jaemin loved spring, he loved seeing the bare trees grow their leaves back and the fallen flowers rise up once more to resume their erect state. He loved the smell of the air, if it even had a smell, the way it was sweet and comforting to anyone passing through it. The sky was wide as always; it seemed clearer than any other season of the year, a crashing blue color that stained the world perfectly.

Y/N, however, loved winter. Jaemin knew it, he knew it from the way you praised the cold when soft snow fell outside of your window in the morning and the way your thoughts would giggle when you saw the puffs of white air coming from your mouth as you spoke. You loved everything about the freezing weather, and you were almost upset to see it gone as spring finally approached.

You were in school right now, staring at your teacher who was supposedly teaching chemistry, but your mind was hazy and filled with the thoughts of your soulmate. It was normal to hear your soulmate’s thoughts, just as everyone else in the world did, but he was always thinking. Constantly, even about the most irrelevant things.

Okay, but if I add x to this side, it just fucks up the whole equation. Wait, I’m supposed to add x over here too, right? That’s what she just said, dumbass, obviously.

You giggled to yourself out loud. I see you’re having pretty important thoughts right now, aren’t you? You do realize we share the same mind, right? I’m trying to learn some chemistry here.

Oh, that’s really funny, baby. His chuckle vibrated throughout your head as you sighed. You’ve been thinking about what you’re gonna have for lunch the entire time, which is far from anything chem related.

Hey, food is important! And I’m really hungry. I didn’t even eat breakfast before I got here. You pouted a little as you tried to stop your growling stomach from interrupting the class. Kinda regretting it now.

What did I say about skipping meals? His voice sounded stern, almost as if he was angry. You had successfully been hiding the fact that you didn’t eat in the morning because he often wasn’t awake, but now you were caught. Don’t do it, it’s not good for you. If you do it one more time, I’ll have to come force feed you, baby.

Baby. The little nickname that your nameless soulmate had called you by for years, since it was impossible to reveal your own name to them. It was funny, you would think sometimes, that you could share a hundred thousand thoughts with him but not the only thing that mattered. If only you knew his name…

I don’t need to know your name to find you. He answered in a softer voice, matching your thoughts. We’re meant for each other, baby, we’re soulmates for god’s sake! We just need to find each other when the time is right, and considering I haven’t seen anyone as beautiful as you, it’s not the right time.

As beautiful as me? You haven’t even seen me, how would you even…know that? Your eyes fell on the open notebook before you, the pages empty and without words.

I don’t need to see you to know that you’re beautiful. You could basically hear the smirk in his voice, and you internally scoffed. It’s true, baby! If your mind is this beautiful, you have to be gorgeous. I might even faint when I see you for the first time.

Yeah, right.

18 April

“I’m serious,” Jeno crossed his arms in front of you, looking you up and down before shaking his head. “You are absolutely miserable, Y/N. All you do is stay inside this goddamn room all day, and you barely even hang out with the me and the guys anymore! You’re coming with me whether you like it or not.”

You looked away from his piercing gaze, trying your best to suppress your feelings deep inside. As much as you knew you couldn’t be crying over such a stupid reason, you couldn’t help it.

Jeno had already found his soulmate, and it had been years since he had. He was happy with her, just like you ever wanted him to be, but the envy lying there for you to be him was constantly persisting. You wanted, more than anything in the world, to find your soulmate. But the last few days had been a battle between you and yourself, asking yourself over and over again whether you would really find him.

You had closed off your mind to your soulmate, not sharing your thoughts to him for the past week. It hurt, not being able to speak with him the way you always did, and you had broken the number one rule with him: to never close off your mind, no matter how hard it gets.

“Hey,” Jeno’s voice softened as he kneeled down to your position on your bed. “Wha-Why are you crying? What happened?”

You swiped at the tears falling continuously from your eyes, refusing to look at him. “You know, Jeno, it’s easy for you to preach all your happiness bullshit all the time: you’ve found your soulmate. You’ve always had her with you, so you don’t know what if feels like.”

“I’m never going to find him,” you whispered out the last words, closing your eyes tightly. “I’ll probably die before I do, and there’s no point. And you know what, I stopped talking to him a few days ago because I can’t do it anymore! I can’t sit and talk to someone mentally when it feels like they don’t even exist!”

There was only silence ringing through your room as Jeno watched you break down slowly, your sobs quiet but still there. He sighed, wrapping his arms around you to hold you still. “He does exist, Y/N. I promise you, he does exist.”

“And he’s waiting for you,” he continued, smoothing your hair down as your tears drenched his shirt. “He wants to find you as much as you do, so open it again. Talk to him. He’s waiting for you to come back.”

You closed your eyes tightly, knowing that Jeno was right. He was always right. But I need him back. Please come back. Please come back. I need to talk to him again.

He was there, you could feel it. You could hear his breathing, if that was even possible, the sound of his inhaling and exhaling that always calmed you down. He didn’t say anything, or rather think anything.

You felt the pain surging through you as you clutched Jeno’s shirt as if it were the only thing keeping your grounded to the universe. “He—”

Baby, why are you crying? Did you get hurt? Did something happen? What happened? You heard the concern relaxed through the voice you had missed for days. Please, baby, don’t cry. It hurts me too.

“I’m sorry,” you whispered, and Jeno knew the words weren’t for him as your tears continued falling. “I’m sorry I closed off.”

It’s okay. He said in a soft rumble, along with the same chuckle. You felt it hurting, the pain becoming harder and harder to suppress until you realized, it wasn’t just your pain you were holding. It was his too. Please don’t do it again. I’m always here. I’m always here for you.

You heard his voice crack, a visible sound as you felt him cry too. “N-No, please don’t cry. I’m sorry.” But your words were lost in your self scolding, knowing that your selfishness had caused him pain. “I’m sorry.”

I’ll find you. We’ll find each other. I promise. We will, I know we will. That’s why we’re soulmates. We have to find each other, okay? Don’t give up.

I-I won’t.

Good. I missed your voice.

“I missed you too.”

24 May

It was midnight, well, possibly past midnight. And you were currently stuck inside Jeno’s not very large closet, alongside him and his friends.

Jeno’s friends were yours as well, meaning you were also friends with Donghyuck. He was a fun guy, one that always cheered you up but also joked around like it was his life. You really thought that he was going to die one day because of his love for pranking.

Then there was Mark and Renjun, who you weren’t as close with, but who were still good friends. Especially Mark, being all flustered and innocent all time, it really caught up on him when he’d be dared to ask a girl out. His excuse was always, “She’s not my soulmate!”

And then there was Jaemin and Jisung. They were the quieter bunch out of everyone else, but still fun to be around. Sometimes you thought that they were a little too secluded to themselves, and you tried to break them out of their boxes, but it was hard to.

Jaemin, especially, was the only other person in the group that had not found their soulmate. You two were common in that, and Jeno often offered for you to talk to him about it, but you weren’t sure if it was appropriate. You could tell, he was searching just as hard as you were, so much that he could barely even build a friendship with you. Likewise, a relationship.

“Okay! Spinning!” Donghyuck announced, taking the empty glass bottle and giving it a twist, and then leaning back against the wall. “Whoever it lands on has to confess something they’ve never done before.”

“What?” Mark asked confusedly, looking from him to you to Jeno. “I thought you were supposed to kiss whoever it landed on.”

“If you wanted me to kiss you, you could’ve just asked—”

The bottle stopped, the tip landing in front of Renjun. Everyone looked towards him. “Well?”

“Um, I’ve never kissed a guy.”

Before anyone could protest about his horribly heterosexual answer (because everyone knew he was the straightest guy there, after Mark of course), he took the chance to spin it the bottle.

It landed on Donghyuck, who rolled his eyes playfully, pointing to his lips drunkenly. “C’mon, baby, gimme me a kiss.”

You laughed out loud, clutching your stomach as Renjun started dodging the boy unsuccessfully. He didn’t stop until he got his kiss, making Mark look away all flustered as if he was the one kissed.

She’s pretty. Your heart almost stopped at the words pulsating through your mind from your soulmate, your smile falling instantly.

Who’s pretty? You were almost scared to ask, wondering if he had even meant to share that thought with you. But you could hear his chuckle, almost as if he was trying to cover up a mistake.

Jaemin shuffled uncomfortably in his seat, looking away on the gaze he had on you. His heart dropped, realizing what he had just done. My mom. She’s beautiful. I wish you could meet her.

He shook his head, glancing back at you before thinking to himself. Why’d she hear that? Jaemin’s eyes moved towards you again, seeing your demeanor as different than before. Maybe? But there’s no way, she already found her soulmate, right?

Who already found her soulmate? Jaemin could’ve spit out water if there was any in his mouth, but instead, he focused on Jeno’s laughing figure.

Huh? Oh, my friend. Sorry, baby, I keep bothering you with my weird thoughts. You thought he sounded a little odd, but you shook it off. He wouldn’t lie to you, that wasn’t like him.

Okay.

19 June

Today’s my last day of school. You tell your soulmate as you walked down your street, looking side to side before crossing the road. I can’t believe senior year’s over already. I feel like I was a freshman yesterday.

Hmm, really? Today’s my last day too. Are you sure we aren’t just the same person, baby? We’re so similar. He chuckled shortly after that, warming your heart a little. One day closer to seeing you.

That seemed to be your soulmate’s catch phrase lately, a little way of encouraging the both of you to get through the day: the promise of seeing each other. You giggled out loud, getting closer to the school.

You’re really optimistic, you know?

Only for you, baby. I can feel it, we’re gonna find each other soon. I’m finally gonna see how beautiful you really are.

You blushed at the words, grinning stupidly as you made it through the front door. Yeah? What if you’re more beautiful? What do we do then?

That’s not possible. His voice sounded so certain, as if he had already seen you a hundred times over and couldn’t get enough. You’re the most beautiful person I know.

Jaemin, who was sitting at his desk staring at his phone blankly, was also smiling widely. He felt the wave of pleasure and happiness wash over you, bathing him as well. The butterflies in his stomach were now in yours as well.

You’re so flirty. Your giggle was like heaven to him, making his insides turn over and over again as he wished to hear it again. I like it.

I like your voice. A lot. Does is sound the same in real life? Your laugh, it sounds so nice. Wait, can you sing?

Inside my head? I don’t know if I can think lyrics, though. I can’t really sing in reality, so I’m gonna assume that it sounds just as bad in your head—and mine.

Jaemin let out a breathless chuckle, shaking his head to himself. You’re voice is my favorite, it’s like music to me. I could hear you talk for hours and I’d still listen.

Oh? Is that why you don’t tell me to shut up when I have a rant in the common mind room? You like my—voice, or like, thought voice?

I love it. And I can’t believe you just called this the ‘common mind room.’ The proper term is ‘soulmate reading room.’

And who said so?

Me, baby.

15 July

Jaemin shot up from his bed, feeling hot and sticky from the heat. He wasn’t sure why his sleep had been so rudely interrupted, but he sure had an idea when he felt a wave of deep pleasure course through him, making blood flow straight to where it really mattered.

He didn’t want to intrude on your thoughts, but he couldn’t help but stick his hands down his boxers and pull out his erect dick. It was throbbing, and the waves of pleasure being sent through him only made it worse.

Baby. You could barely think of any words to fill your head as you heard his voice deep in your mind, almost as if scolding you. You’re going to make me cum so fast, baby, slow down. God, it feels so good.

I’m sorry. Your voice sounded like it was pleading to him, asking for forgiveness immediately. But you couldn’t help but bring your fingers back down to your core, swiveling at the wetness that had developed. I think I had a dream about—something.

Jaemin wished he could imagine you, writhing underneath his grip as his tongue licked patiently down your gorgeous slit. Even the thought was so—sinful, and you heard each and every word of it, making it only more pleasurable to you.

Do you like it? Do you like it when you touch yourself, baby? How good does it feel, can you tell me? His words were filthy, and even though it was all in your head, it only heightened the arousal. Tell me how good you fuck yourself.

Your mind swerved at the thought, your fingers slowly entering your hole as you let out a small moan, trying not to make too much of a scene. Even though you were sure sounds like that couldn’t have been transmitted to your soulmate, it somehow did.

Fuck, you sound so pretty. He hummed, and it was more a sweet sound to your ear rather than your mind, making you buck your hips up and clench around your fingers. I wish I could see you right now. Fucking yourself so well.

You could fuck me better. You couldn’t help but have the thoughts pop up in your mind, swallowing a whine that he hears as well. As you felt the buildup of your orgasm, it increased quickly in less than a second, almost causing you to scream. Fuck, fuck, you’re gonna make me cum. Please.

I want you to cum, baby. Cum all over those pretty little fingers of yours. Think it’s me, it’s my hand, my fingers fucking you so good. C’mon baby, do it. I want to feel you.

Before he could say anymore, you had already come undone, your juices spilling down your thighs as you trembled. Thighs shaking, you muffled another whine with the sinking of your teeth into your sheets.

Just as you thought it was over, a second one can crashing down just as fast. You screamed into your pillow, color bursting into your eyes and your voice pleading over and over again for him, him, him. It was so good, so good that it felt wrong when your uncontrollable shaking slowly ceased.

Oh my god. I think I just ascended into the afterlife. That felt way too good. I can’t believe I felt it too, oh fuck.

Yeah, baby. It’s that good. I could cum over and over again just for you. Just to hear your voice in my mind whimpering like that, hmm, I’d do it everyday. Fuck, you’re making me so horny, baby, you’re so hot.

You couldn’t help but tiredly giggle at his statement, feeling a little proud of yourself for not only making yourself feel good, but your soulmate as well. I didn’t know that was something we could do.

You didn’t?

Wait, you did?!

I didn’t do it for so long because you never touched yourself like this before, baby. You’ve never orgasmed before. This was your first time.

You turned around in your bed, your legs feeling disgustingly sticky now. But you were far to lazy to clean up, and resorted to cuddling yourself in your blankets.

Wouldn’t it be your first time too?

There was a pause, and you wondered for a moment if he had fallen asleep. But he came back, his chuckle vibrating again.

Of course. I didn’t want to scare you before, so I didn’t try anything with myself. Hmm, but god I’m so glad you did. That was—hmm, so good.

We should do it again.

Oh fuck yes, baby, we’ll do it again. And I’ll, hmm, make you feel so good when I find you. So fucking good, I promise. Better than you felt just now.

But you didn’t hear those last thoughts, your mind drifting off into another land without your soulmate. Jaemin felt it, smiling to himself softly as he closed his own eyes, letting his sleep take him away.

I love you.

16 July

It was nine in the evening when your best friend decided to scare the living shit out of you by climbing through your bedroom window (it was a regular occurrence, but it didn’t make it any more normal) to drag you out of your house.

He was taking you camping, at least that’s what he mumbled as he ‘packed’ a bag for you, which you were looking through later in his car, realizing he had nicely packed useless shirts but not one pair of shorts.

“I’m gonna have to wear these shorts for next few days, you know!” You slapped his arm, but all he did was roll his eyes, continuing to drive to the camp ground. “And why didn’t you care to inform me of this earlier?”

“Well, you would’ve said no and I would’ve just climbed through your window anyway, so I thought I could save the whole ‘no’ part and just surprise you. So...surprise!”

It sure was a surprise indeed when you realized how many people were at the actual campsite. All of the guys were there, along with their respective soulmates. It made your heart drop a little as you saw Jeno walk off to his love, and even looking around, you couldn’t help but dull at the thought.

Jisung and his girlfriend were sitting at the edge by the river, talking softly amongst each other as they giggled. Even seeing the youngest boy so happy made you feel—pity for yourself, and you had to shake your head a few times to get rid of the envy.

“Y/N!” You turned around to Jeno’s girlfriend’s voice. She had a marshmallow and a stick in her hand, gesturing for you to come over to the bonfire that Mark somehow actually made without hurting himself.

As you reached her, you took a seat beside her, gasping a bit when she wrapped an arm around your shoulders, nuzzling her head against yours. “I missed you.”

“Me too.”

She was a good friend of yours, definitely not as close as you were with Jeno as she didn’t go to the same school as the two of you. But she as the sisterly figure that you always needed in your life, cheering you up and loving you to death.

Everyone eventually gathered around the fire, roasting their marshmallows and singing loudly to the trashy music blasting from Donghyuck’s speaker. Your eyes scanned through the circle, and your eyes fell on the only other single person in the crowd: Jaemin.

He was standing next to Renjun and his girlfriend, smiling alongside everyone else as they continued to have fun. As you let your eyes linger for a moment longer, he looked up, locking your gaze with his.

You offered him a small smile, feeling like it would be rude to just ignore him and he returned it, calming your nerves a little bit. God, why am I so nervous around him?

I don’t know, baby, try not to be.

You paused in the middle of your s’more, blinking a few times at the response from your soulmate. Wait, you heard that?

Um, not sure if you realized but we share a mind.

Looking away briefly, you watched as Chenle dramatically revealed the food that he had bought before arriving here. But I didn’t want you to hear that.

Ouch, that kinda hurt, baby.

You chuckled internally, smiling at his fake hurt voice, focusing back on eating your s’more. Just as you finished, you felt to hands on your back, pushing you towards the side.

Stumbling, you looked up to Jeno’s girlfriend, who had her arms crossed with a funny sort of stern look on her face. You looked over at Jisung, who gave you a apologetic look for his (reluctant) hard push.

“So I heard that you have memory issues? Memory issues that affect how much your eating, that’s what Jeno here tells me. Now, is it because you actually have a memory loss problem or do you just not eat?”

You glanced at Jeno, who was just looking at you with wide eyes. “Hey, I eat! I just—forget sometimes. I’m alone this whole summer, I suck at cooking, and I’m broke so...I just usually forget to eat.”

“Well, that excuse is not gonna work today!”

A plate of friend chicken was pushed into your hand by Chenle’s girlfriend, who gave you a sweet smile as you made your way back to your seat.

It was past midnight now, the darkness seemed to overtake everything else around the camp ground, making the river look colder. The chirping of the crickets was still there, their volume increasing as each hour passed.

Jaemin had watched the scene from farther away, and it confused him as he watched you eat. How does she forget something like that? Wouldn’t it...hurt?

I don’t know, baby, wouldn’t it?

Your voice was a mock of his sentence from earlier, and there was a brief silence. See, you didn’t want me to hear that, right?

I don’t know; that’s weird.

It was weird, usually when you didn’t want your soulmate to hear your personal thoughts, you could close it off to them. But lately, it seemed to do exactly the opposite. Maybe, it was a glitch in the system?

Or maybe we’re getting closer to finding each other. He sighed, the hopefulness that was usually in his voice gone without a trace. I don’t know anymore, baby.

Me neither.

“Okay, I love you all to death, but I need my sleep.” Jeno’s girlfriend announced, the music finally ceasing and allowing the quietness engulf the area. “There are seven tents, so claim yours. Me and Jeno have the blue one.”

Each of the couples went one after the other, claiming their tents quickly until you were left with, naturally—

“I guess we’re sharing, then?” Jaemin came up from behind you, handing over your bag that he probably picked up from the ground earlier. “If you want to? I can ask one of the guys—”

“No, no it’s okay. I don’t mind.”

He nodded, making his way to the tent that was left over for the other couple’s hoarding: the one closest to the river. It was a little eerie, especially when he opened up the tent to the light inside.

In a simple sense, it was small. The sleeping bags were much to close to each other for a couple of friends, but there wasn’t anything else to do as you glanced over at the boy.

“I’ll take the one over there,” you gestured to the one farthest from the entrance, but then added, “unless you want to?”

“Go for it, I don’t mind.” His voice rang from your answer earlier as you made your way inside, settling down on the sleeping bag you recognized as Jeno’s. This is gonna be awkward.

What’s gonna be awkward?

You pulled out a water bottle from your bag, taking a few sips. I’m just in a little bit of an awkward situation right now, that’s all.

Well, do you wanna have sex?

The water you had just put into your mouth came spitting out, wetting your clothes as the bottle titled. The shock of your soulmate’s random thought had hit you hard, and now your shorts were drenched with dirty water.

Jaemin looked over at you, seeing you suddenly look like you went swimming in the river with your clothes on. “Are you okay?”

“Um,” you stood up, examining yourself. “Y-Yeah, it just—went down the wrong pipe, I guess.” I’m soaked, fuck. At least the sheets aren’t wet though.

“Wait,” the boy ruffled through his bag, pulling out a small towel and handing it to you. “I can leave if you want to change?”

“Thanks,” you dabbed at your skin, trying to get the water off yourself as best as you could. “If you don’t mind...”

Nodding, he unzipped the tent, stepping outside to leave you in your own thoughts. What the fuck?!

What? Do you not want to?

I just said I’m in an awkward situation and you want to have sex?! What kind of logic is that? You pulled off your clothes, throwing over one of the over-sized shirts that Jeno had very nicely remembered to stuff in your bag.

It could ease the height of the situation!

You scoffed, wiping away the rest of the water on your body as you heard your soulmate’s familiar chuckle. There are other people here, I’m not doing anything.

As you made your way to the entrance of the tent, you felt an odd wave pass through your body, making your core pulsate involuntarily. I could make you cum in front of all those people, hmm? You would like that, wouldn’t you? Fucking yourself for me so good?

No.

I know you do, baby. You know how?

You walked to the end of the tent, pulling down the zipper to see Jaemin’s back to you. “Jaemin,” he perked up at the sound of your voice, finally seeing you. “You can come inside.”

Because I can feel you trembling.

The way Jaemin looked in your eyes right now was breathtaking, his hair askew as he stepped back into the small lighting of the tent. You lingered on him for a moment too long, feeling the heat growing in your core immediately.

I can tell you like it.

You laid down against the pillow, your heart pounding from the arousal coursing through you. Please don’t, there are other people here. You’re gonna embarrass the fuck out of me.

Turning your back to Jaemin, you felt your entire body shiver, but not from the cold this time. He was touching himself, and you could tell from the way that his internal breathing was hitched, making you grab on tightly to the end of your bag.

“Hey, I’m gonna turn the lights out,” you heard Jaemin’s voice in the background, and you could’ve sworn that they echoed through your head as well. “Y/N?”

“Y-Yeah, okay.”

In a moment it was pitch black, allowing yourself to curl up into yourself as you felt the buildup in your stomach growing. Please, please, please.

Please, what?

Now being in the dark, your senses seemed to heighten, the pleasurable and painful throbbing to your clit being too much to ignore. You let your fingers wander to your clit, finally pressing against it, rubbing slowly. Successfully staying quiet, you dipped your fingers past your folds, feeling the wetness collect on your fingertips. You’re gonna make me cum.

I know, baby, that’s kind of the point.

Just as you started massaging against your clit a little faster, you heard a shift from Jaemin beside you, making you stop your motions for a moment. Your heart was in your throat now, the risk of being caught being so, so high. Faster, please.

You couldn’t believe that you were begging for more, but your soulmate certainly loved it. I wish I could hear you right now, baby. Hmm, you’d sound so good.

Finally, you let your fingers slip into your hole, letting out a soft sigh. It wasn’t too loud, you hoped, but the sound was amplified in Jaemin’s mind, almost making him cum at it.

Fuck, you’re gonna make me cum to your sounds, baby. Don’t stop, keep fucking yourself for me.

The dominant tone in his voice as you quickened your pace took over your body, your panting increasing as you stifles them with your pillow. You just hoped that you wouldn’t make too much of a mess, this was Jeno’s sleeping bag after all.

Jaemin, on the other hand, didn’t really give a shit. Just hearing his soulmate whine because of him turned him on so fast, making it increase his pumping. He had assumed that you had fallen asleep, at least from the soft sounds that you were releasing, so he had all the time to himself.

But he wasn’t too loud, at least he tried not to be for the sake of you. You couldn’t hear anything, however, your mind only focusing on finding your release quickly. Please, please, I need to cum.

He didn’t respond to your plead, only continuing to build the both of you up in a tighten knot. Jaemin bit down on his lip, hoping that he wasn’t breathing too loudly to wake you up, but he didn’t seem to really care when his seed spurted from his cock.

At the same time his hand was being covered in his own milky liquid, your fingers slipped out of you with ease as you shuddered, his orgasm having a huge effect on you. With a quick movement, you buried your head against the pillow, calming your breaths as quickly as possible. Hmm, fuck.

It took you a while before you finally calmed down, the throbbing between your legs stopping as you heard your soulmate’s chuckle in your head. You liked it?

Humming, you nodded as if he could see you. Yes, I liked it. Thank you. You felt your lids growing heavy with your thoughts, and your eyes finally shut with the memory of his voice in your head.

Sweet dreams, my love.

17 July

You woke up with a small jolt from inside your body, the electricity coursing through your veins strong enough to make you open your eyes to the bright light flooding the tent. The first thing you noticed, however, were the fact that you were unable to move.

Looking at the position now, you had no clue how you had even gotten here: your body snuggled close to Jaemin’s, legs tangled and his head resting against your chest. Even as you shifted slightly, he stirred gently, his arms tightening around your waist. How did I even get here? It’s so...tight.

Good morning to you too, baby. You’re awake so early.

Oh, you’re awake. You looked down at the pink hair below you, making you want to lace your fingers through it. I’m in a bit of a sticky situation again.

Jaemin scrunched up his face, still facing away from you as his legs enclosed yours tighter. He should’ve pulled away, perhaps a while ago, but something deep inside of him was telling him not to let go. What’s wrong?

Huh? Nothing, it’s just another...awkward situation I got myself into. You struggled against his grip, trying at least to get your arms out, but they were trapped.

What happened? Jaemin could hear the sound of your racing heart, increasing with every move that either of you made. Baby?

Nothing, nothing’s wrong. I’m fine, I’m just in another awkward situation with someone and I don’t even think it’s their fault.

Jaemin’s eyes trailed down your clothed skin, landing on the exposed portion of your legs that were secured tightly under his. It was an intimate position, and he knew that he couldn’t keep you in it for too long...not unless.

He looked up slowly, his eyes meeting yours hesitantly before he stared deeply into yours. You didn’t say anything, your mind going blank as the boy in front of you stared back at you with an expression of awe on his face. He’s too close.

You’re right, I’m too close. Jaemin was hesitant with his thought, but you could hear his breathing going through your mind as he inched closer. His thought echoed in your mind, but it sounded more as if Jaemin had told you those words.

His face inched closer to yours: eyes fluttering from your eyes to lips with the parting of his mouth. Jaemin hesitated, his hands finding purchase to your back as he pressed them down, feeling the spark that ignited both of you.

You couldn’t help but feel that something was right for the first time in your life as his lips brushed past yours, almost setting them on fire from the pure ecstasy of the touch. Finally, with a single sigh leaving him, his lips pressed against yours, feeling you wholeheartedly.

And the moment it happened, you knew it. You knew that the feeling you had wasn’t just yours, not when his hand snaked up to your chin, titling it to allow him in deeper. Your tongue clashed with his, both of the wet muscles massaging each other with a slow pace as if you had waited your entire life for this moment.

You felt it, I know you felt it. Jaemin pulled at your waist, settling you under him as he planted his knees beside your hips. His hands found yours, intertwining your fingers with his. Tell me you felt it, baby.

If you aren’t kissing me right now, your thought came out cracked, your lips devouring Jaemin’s without a second thought, then I might cry.

Your soulmate chuckled, the sound vibrating in both of you and for the first time, it felt real. Everything, for once, felt like it was real. The burning touch of skin against each other, the clash of saliva; it all felt real. Well, baby, I don’t think you have to cry.

He pulled away for a brief second, eyes darting around your entire face before tears welled up in his eyes, a shaky smile breaking out. Your fingers laced through his hair, bringing him closer to kiss him again, deeper than before. We did it, baby, we did it.

You felt him crying, the pain mixing with the happiness perfectly as hot tears poured from your own eyes as well. We finally did it, we found each other.

Jaemin.

He could’ve died, he thought as he pulled you over his lap, cupping your face in his hands as if you were the most important thing in the world to him. The only thought he could never share with you was the only one he wanted to hear from your voice inside of his head; the one that reached out to him from depths beyond the love you both had for each other. And he finally heard it.

“I love you, I love you, I love you,” he muttered softly, burying his face into your neck, leaving a trail of feathered kisses. His hands caressed your hair softly as he looked up at you with those big eyes, the ones so full of love and joy. “I love you so much.”

You didn’t trust yourself with words, but a grin broke out from you as you watched him breakdown before you. It was the most beautiful sight; the moment of a boy confessing his love to his one and only soulmate, and you could’ve wished to live in that moment forever.

“You’re my soulmate,” your voice was more a whisper, but he heard it, he had always heard it. Fingers pressed into the skin of his neck as he leaned against your chest again, feeling the beat of your heart. “Jaemin...”

“Yeah, that’s me,” his laugh was broken, arms holding your body so tightly as if you were going to slip away from his grasp in less than a second. “I’ve found you, baby.”

“Can you say my name again, baby? In our mind, please? I want to hear your voice again.”

I could say it a million times. Your voice echoed through his mind, and his lips found your skin again, kissing and kissing and kissing. Jaemin, Jaemin, Jaemin. I love you, Jaemin.

I can’t believe you were right here this whole time. It took me so long to realize that it was you all along, it was you this whole time.

“I know,” you held his head against you, the comfort radiating from him never going away. “But I’m so glad, I’m so glad it’s you.”

Me too, baby. I couldn’t have wished for anyone better.

It felt like two people in love after years of being alone. And it felt like two people meeting each other, after an entire lifetime of not meeting each other.

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#jaemin smut #nct smut #nct dream smut #minas smut work #na jaemin smut #nct jaemin smut #jaemin series #nct series #nct dream series #jaemin fic

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seeker-of-the-stars · 4 years ago

Note

I'd love to see your take on a scenario where TFP Sounders fights Megatron because he's finally stepping in and stopping Megs from hurting Screamer? Or for some other reason?

“Starscream!”

The grey Seeker cowered at Megatron’s booming voice. His entire body was covered in burn marks, scrapes, and dents. “Lord Megatron, if you’d just let me explain-”

“I’ve heard enough of your explanations to last a lifetime!” He growled. In response, Starscream’s wings lowered to the point of drooping, and his entire body was shaking.

“That relic could’ve given us victory, but due to your incompetence, it was destroyed! I believe I told you the last time you failed me, that you would only be given one more chance to prove your worth to me. And now, you have failed yet again.”

“But I-” Starscream stuttered. “The Autobots were the one who set off the bomb! I went in and tried to save it, I swear!”

“Another lie, to save your own plating! You probably destroyed it yourself, as a scheme to gain power. Well, my patience has run out for your lies and treachery.” He aimed his laser cannon at Starscream’s head as the Seeker fell to his knees.

“Megatron, please!” He begged. “I tried to save it, I risked my own life to get it! I’m telling the truth! I’ll even let Knock out use the cortical psychic patch on me to prove it!” His voice broke out into a sob. “I’ll do whatever you want!”

“Silence!” Megatron howled, his laser cannon heating up.

As he watched the display before him, Soundwave grew more and more uncomfortable. He knew Starscream was often a nuisance, but this time, he knew he was telling the truth. And he knew Megatron did too.

On his boss’s orders, he had Laserbeak follow Starscream around after he rejoined the Deceptions to keep an eye on any suspicious behavior. He had viewed all the video files himself before sending them to Megatron, and everything Starscream has said matched up. His leader, the one he’s pledged undying loyalty to for four million years, was setting up one of his most prominent soldiers just so he’d have an excuse to get rid of him.

“Megatron,” Soundwave said. Immediately, everyone in the room went silent. It was rare for Soundwave to speak, and whenever he did, it was always a shock.

“Starscream: Innocent. Does not deserve termination.”

Megatron scowled at his third in command. “The first time you choose to speak in years, and you use your voice to defend this- this traitor? To question your leader?”

Soundwave stared back with his blank faceplate. “Starscream: Innocent. Conclusion: Release him.”

Megatron looked between the treacherous Seeker and his (formerly) most loyal soldier, and smirked. “No Soundwave, I don’t think I will. It’s important that everyone sees the consequences of failure are. And if you are wise, you will not interfere any further. Or I will terminate you next.”

He rose his laser cannon once again to Starscream’s head, ignoring the bot’s desperate pleas.

“Goodbye, Starscream, and good riddance.”

Soundwave wasn’t sure what made him do it, it was as if his body was acting on its own accord. His tentacles flew out, ripping off Megatron’s arm seconds before he could shoot Starscream. Before Megatron could retaliate, he grabbed the seeker off the ground and opened a groundbridge to Primus knows where, and pushed them both through it.

As both of their vents were starting to cool down, Soundwave looked around to see where they were. According to the map of Earth he downloaded into his processor, he realized that they were on a small deserted island in the middle of nowhere. If they could find a source of energy, they would be safe here for a while.

Starscream groaned, rubbing his helm on the spot he landed on. “Where did you take us?”

“Location: An Island twelve hundred miles from Nevada.”

Starcream shivered at his voice. It didn’t bother him, it was the reaction most bots had.

“Why in Primus’s name did you do that!? Don’t you know that Megatron will kill you now?”

“Megatron: Irrelevant. Does not care about us.”

“I’m going to be picking sand out of my gears for weeks,” Starscream whined.

“Sand: 1200% less lethal than a laser cannon.”

To his surprise, Starscream chuckled. “I suppose you have a point there.”

It was a few minutes until either of them spoke again. But Soundwave could feel Starscream’s optics on him.

“Soundwave,” Starscream broke the silence. Soundwave tilted his helm toward him in question.

“I just wanted to... I just wanted to say... ugh.” The seeker cleared his throat. “Thank you, for saving my life.”

Soundwave looked at Starscream, who was looking down at his pedes to avoid optic contact. Soundwave tilted his head in acknowledgement towards his new ally.

“Starscream: Safe now.”

#starscream #megatron #soundwave #fanfic #thanks!

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attack-on-kiwi · 4 years ago

Note

Are you still doing the fluff alphabet? If so, would you be willing to do it for Bertl? I'm not sure if you write for him, it's okay if you don't.

A ctivities - What do they like to do with their s/o? How do they spend their free time with them?

Bertholdt is indifferent to what the two do. Most activities that his s/o points out are okay in his book, though he isn’t a fan of anything that forces him to stand out too much. As long as he’s spending time with them or watching out for them, he’s happy to do anything. That said, he does have a particular fondness for hiking or fishing. Both activities are peaceful and let the two enjoy mild physical activity while basking in one another’s company. There’s no stress to speak as they can just focus on their tasks at hand.

Cuddling is nice once he’s over his nervous disposition. If his s/o doesn’t mind his clammy hands and overwhelming warmth, he likes to have them secured in his arms, playing with their fingers for countless moments. Perhaps the stilling of time is why he is drawn to such an innocent passtime.

B eauty - What do they admire about their s/o? What do they think is beautiful about them?

Bertholdt is drawn in by their smile. He doesn’t deserve such kindness- definitely not from someone as beautiful and admirable as themselves.It’s no stretch to say that Bertholdt’s idea of his s/o is quite inflated by how he imagines them to be an all superior and perfect individual. He’s too overcome by feelings of insecurity and stress that he’s latched onto their kindness. That smile draws him in and promises a moment of respite in this unnerving hell of an existence he bears.

C omfort - How would they help their s/o when they feel down/have a panic attack etc.?

He tries to ground them. He will not take any unnecessary touching in the case that they do not respond well. He’ll instead look to calm them by speaking in a level tone and guiding them through their episodes. He hates seeing them upset or panicking, and he would rather not set them off even more. Bertholdt will assess the situation as best he can, but don’t expect a passionate embrace or overly comforting words. He will just remind them that they are here and he is here. The two can sort out the issue if need be and go from there. If the situation calls for it or if his s/o approaches him for physical comfort, he has no problem embracing them for several minutes, quietly letting them seek whatever it is that is going to help them come down.

D reams - How do they picture their future with their s/o?

Bertholdt is too nervous and aware of his fate to give much thought to a future with his s/o. Ideally, he would like to have weekend breakfast with them and his father before taking a light stroll to a park that’s filled with happy children. He wants to take them out for sweets and to walk fearlessly hand in hand. Nothing too extraordinary. A secure life where they can live comfortably with their loved ones and enjoy their mundane lives would be ideal.

E qual - Are they the dominant one in the relationship, or rather passive?

Bertholdt isn’t entirely submissive, but he does prefer his s/o to take charge. He’s a bit of a pleaser when it comes to the relationship, so he’s willing to do most things his s/o wants.

However he does have limits to his patience and if he wants something done, he’s not afraid to mention it. He’s not a shy and nervous wreck all the time, after all. If his s/o and he have been together for a while, he is much more comfortable speaking out and suggesting they try something new. It takes a lot of patience from his s/o, and most of his demands are too subtle to even give a second thought.

If Bertholdt feels like something is not going how it should, he’s quite skilled in putting a stop to it.

F ight - Would they be easy to forgive their s/o? How are they fighting?

Getting Bertholdt angry is hard enough in the first place. His s/o either put their life in extreme danger or crossed a boundary with hi,. Bertholdt will not stand for it and will have to take time for himself. During this period of tension, he’s prone to guilt tripping and manipulating his s/o into feeling awful about the fight. Whether they played a large role or not, Berhtoldt feels the need to really emphasize that they can’t be hurting him because all he does is to ensure the two can be happy.

He doesn’t mean to be so erratic when he’s angry, but he rarely experiences anger, and being hurt by someone he finally let in scares him to no end. It’s no excuse for his irrational (at times) behavior, but it’s important for the two to have patience with one another.

G ratitude - How grateful are they in general? Are they aware of what their s/o is doing for them?

Once he gets past the initial guilt of being in a relationship when he’s got the mission he has, he does feel something akin to gratefulness. If anything, he just feels immense selfishness for getting involved with someone. His mind is constantly in overdrive and is unable to rest for a moment enough to really see just what his s/o puts up with for him.

H onesty - Do they have secrets they hide from their s/o? Or do they share everything?

His entire identity is a secret. Regardless of whether his s/o is from Marley or Paradis, he keeps his true self under wraps. Bertholdt is conditioned first and foremost to put his own freedom and wishes first. That means that his mission comes first, and unless he has known his s/o for years or feels extremely strong about them, he will never share anything remotely incriminating. Even if he does feel comfortable enough to share, information will be scarce and seemingly irrelevant to the bigger picture. He can’t help this tendency. He has had to be careful of every word that comes out of his mouth as it could mean life or death, and he’s not willing to risk more than necessary as he feels he’s already pushing it too far.

I nspiration - Did their s/o change them somehow, or the other way around? Like trying out new things or helped them overcome personal problems?

The fact that he was even open to having an s/o shows that they’ve brought down the many walls (lol) he’s put up around his heart. Bertholdt’s defense mechanism is to hide and to put up a front, so when someone is able to give him enough confidence that he’s willing to love them even remotely, they can say they’ve impacted him in a way most others never have.

Bertholdt is someone who will usually partake in activities if asked, so there’s not much on the path of trying new things, but trying them with his s/o definitely feels more fulfilling to him. Even if it’s just an evening hike or going to a market when allowed, Bertholdt feels more vulnerable. His s/o is usually unaware of this until he is caught smiling at them shyly, a glimmer of his true feelings dancing across his expression.

J ealousy - Do they get jealous easily? How do they deal with it?

Yes and no.

Bertholdt will get jealous if someone is getting too friendly and touchy with his s/o, but it takes a lot for him to step in. In fact, it’s the rarest sight to catch him towering above someone, using a steel glare and his notable height to intimidate whoever is making heart eyes and assorted moves at his s/o.

Though he is prone to jealousy due to fear of his s/o leaving him or finding out they don’t want to be with him, he is still most likely not going to step in. Bertholdt has resigned himself to the idea that he is not worthy of a long term partner and to always be prepared in the event that his s/o will leave him. When in private, he might try to guilt his s/o by saying they made him feel jealous because of how close that person was getting to them, but most times he will just hide in their neck and huff when prodded with questions.

K iss - Are they a good kisser? What was the first kiss like?

Bertholdt never kisses anyone long enough for there to be a cohesive report on the topic. His kisses range from split second pecks to softer slightly dragged out kisses. There’s never anything fancy going on.

He likes it when his s/o has to work to get to his lips, be it they are too short or too tall to comfortably reach him. He thinks it’s endearing that they would want to kiss him even tho it can be an inconvenience to get to his lips.

Kiss his neck and he will pass out from the blood running to his cheeks. Oh, yeah. He’s a huge blusher when it comes to kisses.

L ove Confession - How would they confess to their s/o?

It’s likely Bertholdt never utters the words until his last moments. He doesn’t have the luxury of expressing his true feelings. Whether or now his s/o is by him during those moments, their face flashes in his mind and while he’s wailing for someone to help him, he’ll think to himself, “I didn’t even say it! I didn’t even get to say it!” And then you guys know how the rest goes.

M arriage - Do they want to get married? How do they propose? What would the marriage be like?

Bertholdt wants to get married. The idea of sharing his life with someone who is his better half warms his heart. If he were to propose, he’d like to do it on an evening where he and his s/o have just had dinner and are floating on a little boat through the waterways. He’d have a whole speech planned out, but the anxiety of asking would eat away at him and he rushes into the stuttering question. When his s/o says yes, he’d be too terrified of picking up the ring since he’s sweating so much, so he’d ask them to take no offense and put the ring on himself. He doesn’t want it to slip and fall into the water.

Marriage with Bertholdt is traditional. He’d like his s/o to live a carefree and comfortable life, so he’d prefer to be the one working while they stayed home or took part in whatever they aspired to. He could see his s/o opening up a bakery. They would have two pets, a dog and a cat, or maybe just two dogs that roam around bringing comfort and joy to their early morning patrons.

N icknames - What do they call their s/o?

He sticks with calling them their name or a short variation of it.

O n Cloud Nine - What are they like when they are in love? Is it obvious for others? How do they express their feelings?

When you strip away the nervousness he is inevitably feeling, Bertholdt is as sweet as one would think plus some more. He has a difficult time verbalizing just how he’s feeling, so he takes to making sure his s/o doesn’t need to deal with more than they have to.

This means Bertholdt will pick up chores or errands they haven’t had time to do or he’ll patch up their clothes. He makes sure that they don’t come back to more work. If they need to be held, he’s there for them. All they have to do is initiate it- that’s all he asks. He’s good at comforting them. He’s warm and large enough to fully embrace most people. He never feels like he’s doing enough or if he’s doing what he should be, but he means well.

P DA - Are they upfront about their relationship? Do they brag with their s/o in front of others? Or are they rather shy to kiss etc. when others are watching?

Most people will never know Bertholdt and his s/o are an item unless his s/o is upfront. He’s not going to actively hold their hand or kiss them in front of anyone, but he won’t push them away if they want to cling to his arm. Having Reiner as a friend helps- the guy is more than happy to tell people to piss off when they try flirting with you or Bertholdt and if Bertholdt is okay with it, he’ll even tell others so they are in the know.

Q uirk - Some random ability they have that’s beneficial in a relationship.

He’s smart and picks up on cooking easily. If his s/o wants a certain food, it only takes him a few moments of studying a recipe to get it correctly. The food always turns out delicious- better than the recipe itself, some would say. He uses this to his advantage when his s/o is particularly upset with him. It’s hard for him to really put into words how sorry he is, so he hopes the food is a good segway into the conversation.

R omance - How romantic are they? What would they do to make their s/o happy? Cliché or rather creative?

He tries to be a classic romantic, but it’s hard when you have a whole can of worms eating the back of your mind at all times.

Bertholdt likes bringing them flowers when he can, and if that’s impossible, he will try to get his hands on some dried/pressed ones and see if he can encase them in resin and accessorize the items. He likes giving them gifts that last long, so they have a small collection of trinkets from him.

He is always there to lend them an ear. Even though he can’t talk much about his own problems, he is more than happy to help them sort out their feelings. Even if he could speak to them about his problems, he would rather focus on them. In a relationship, he’s overwhelmingly giving so long as his s/o stays by him no matter what it takes.

S upport - Are they helping their s/o achieve their goals? Do they believe in them?

If he has any reservations, he will let them be known, but once he is convinced his s/o is not just saying something but willing to see it through, they have his whole support. He will be willing to go through great length to help them succeed.

However, if their aspirations interfere with his own goals, he will try to subtly sabotage them or try to convince them to focus on something else. This will cause a huge rift in the relationship

T hrill - Do they need to try out new things to spice out your relationship? Or do they prefer a certain routine?

Bertholdt is content as everything is. He’s fine with having an s/o and living the same day with them. It’s peaceful when it can be, and he’d rather not risk all of that for something that may not be worth it. If his s/o wants to try something out, he will follow along but will step in if he feels they might get hurt or get the two of them in danger.

U nderstanding - How good do they know their partner? Are they empathetic?

Bertholdt knows his partner inside and out. The way he knows every detail about them is pretty relative to how little they know about him. As a way to make up for not being completely honest with them, he does his best to get to know them and everything about them so that he can accommodate them reasonably. He doesn’t feel too bad about this either. He’s more comfortable giving, so he enjoys seeing his s/o light up when he remembers a tiny detail about them.

Though Bertholdt is knowledgeable about his partner, he is not the poster boy for empathy. Most of their concerns feel minor compared to the larger pictures, so he has a difficult time finding the mental capacity to even care. This surfaces in how he will tell them to be logical or offer them more realistic advice on their concerns.

V alue - How important is the relationship to them? What is it’s worth in comparison to other things in their life?

His relationship is not the most important thing to him. Though it is true that he values his partner immensely, he is sadly anchored to the fact that his mission comes first and that his selfish desires of wanting solace for his loved ones will have to be but a byproduct of a successful mission. No matter what, his life and his future are going to be most impacted by said mission, so once everything is dealt with, he will prioritize everyone else.

That being said, just because his mission comes first does not mean that Bertholdt is immune to slip ups regarding his personal life. There are times when the stress and fear of losing his s/o will push him to do something ill advised so that he can secure their safety. If they ended up dying as a result of his mission and actions, he’d never recover.

W ild Card - A random Fluff Headcanon.

If his s/o starts complimenting him between their sweet little kisses, then Bertholdt will begin blushing and trying to escape. He doesn’t straight up run away, but he’ll cover his face with his hands as his cheeks heat up. If they ask him what he’s doing or coo to him he’ll try to choke out a flustered “I’m fine” while clearly not being fine. His s/o has the power to make him weak in the knees and must learn to utilize said power to the fullest.

X OXO - Are they very affectionate? Do they love to kiss and cuddle?

Bertholdt isn’t going to initiate any form of intimacy, but once his s/o has him in their arms, he’s actually a cuddle bug. His favorite is to quietly hug them and rest his face in their neck. Sometimes he’ll kiss them wherever he can. The feeling of their hands dragging over his back and their nails scratching his scalp helps him forget that the world is terrifying just for a moment. If he falls asleep on them, it’s said that he can go the whole night without fumbling or kicking anyone.

Y earning - How will they cope when they’re missing their partner?

He’s good at putting those thoughts in the back of his mind. He doesn’t really give into missing them as often as he could, but that doesn’t mean he doesn’t miss them. When he has a chance to breather, he’ll offhandedly wonder if they miss him too.

Z eal - Are they willing to go to great lengths for the relationship? If so, what kind of?

Unless he’s decided they are important enough for him, he won’t go out of his way to put his life on the line or anything. As I’ve previously mentioned, Bertholdt’s way of prioritizing his relationship is by prioritizing his mission.

#bertholdt hoover #bertholdt hoover x reader #attack on titan #attack on titan headcanons #attack on titan imagines #attack on titan x reader #fluff alphabet #snk #shingeki no kyojin #shingeki no kyojin headcanons #shingeki no kyojin imagines #shingeki no kyoujin x reader

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cruelfeline · 4 years ago

Text

I’ve been thinking about various aspects of SPoP, as I am wont to do, and as often happens, I’ve settled on trying to figure out why I feel a certain way. Namely regarding why I, personally, am able to feel so much more compassion towards Hordak rather than towards the Princesses. After all, the Princesses are the ones being wronged throughout this show, aren’t they? Their lands are being invaded. They’re the ones having to fight to maintain their way of life. They’re losing ground because of Hordak’s war.

So... why do I find it hard to care about them? Why are their experiences in this conflict just sort of... well, meaningless to me?

And why, instead, do my tender emotional responses strongly favor Hordak, despite his serious role in starting a terrible war?

Well! As per usual, I’m going to try to talk my way through it.

(and, as per usual, your mileage may vary!)

Let’s start with the Princesses. They range from children to young adults. Seem like reasonably nice girls, despite various flaws. They clearly did not ask for a war, had no hand in starting it, and are clearly on the side of good, seeking to protect innocents and simply return to a peaceful way of life.

They appear perfectly designed to garner sympathy and connection... yet I feel so little for them. I feel little because, despite the show telling me that they’re fighting for their lives, and for their home, despite them being the apparent underdogs in their battle against the Horde, I feel like their lives remain relatively stable. Pleasant. Even enjoyable.

Essentially, I feel like despite everything, they do not truly suffer. Not in a way that is consistent or touching.

The arcs the Princesses go through either deal largely with matters unrelated to the war and subsequently involve less arduous difficulties, or are handled in such a way that any real pain is quickly resolved and loses its impact.

Frosta and Perfuma represent the former. Both are parentless rulers of their kingdoms, but there is no real confirmation that their parents were killed by the Horde, and they themselves seem largely unperturbed by parental loss. They maintain control of their kingdoms throughout the series. Frosta never loses the Kingdom of Snows, while Perfuma, though in brief danger of losing Plumeria due to damage to the Heart Blossom, ends up... well, defeating the Horde with a band of untrained hippies. So while they fight in the war against Hordak, they never really suffer any significant, confirmed personal losses because of it.

In fact, the Plumerian conflict is... kind of played for laughs.

The other aspects of their arcs have largely to do with friendship matters, or self-belief, and are also dealt with quickly and with little fanfare. Frosta learns how to make friends. Perfuma learns how to play with cacti. Afterwards, Frosta spends the remainder of the story essentially being a violence-happy little kid; amusing, yes, but not particularly tugging at my heartstrings. Perfuma likewise settles into “sympathetic friend” and, though she’s involved in Scorpia’s story at the end, also does little to invoke any sort of significant emotion.

we’re just going to skirt around the whole “leashing Entrapta” thing, as it’s not relevant to this discussion

(Spinnerella and Netossa barely even register to me, given their very bare-bones roles in the first four seasons and standard “chipped loved one” narrative (that everyone experiences) in the fifth.)

So, let’s move on to Glimmer and Mermista.

Glimmer and Mermista are arguably the two Princesses who actually lose unique things in the war and suffer because of those losses. And yet, because of the way the show is written, even their pain is dulled in such a way that it just does not facilitate me forming any sort of consistent, compassionate bond with them.

Mermista is the only Princess to actually lose a kingdom. In Hordak’s most visible evil act, Salineas is burned and beflagged, leading to Mermista deeply mourning the loss of her home, her culture, her peop- oh. Hm.

She takes it oddly well, doesn’t she? Apparently, ice cream in a bathtub is how deposed rulers deal with the loss of their entire country nowadays.

And once she’s done with her moment of moping, she’s back in the fight, fueled by Sea Hawk’s shenanigans and her own power ballad (and Bright Moon’s lack of ice cream). There is no extended mourning for her people, no real depth to the loss she has supposedly suffered. There’s not even a real sense of it: we never see the people of Salineas, never know them, never get to feel anything for them. And with them being all but theoretical, the show appears to have no issue quickly forgetting them: Mermista never negotiates on their behalf, or visits refugees, or... anything. She might use Salineas in her future battle cries and as an excuse for increased recklessness, but that homage is the extent of emotion that we see.

Kingdom gone, bathtub ice cream finished, she goes on living life as if little has happened. And, because of her royal connections, she doesn’t even experience a decrease in quality of life: she continues to live in luxurious comfort despite an apparently raging war.

Because of how the writing handles Salineas, and her character in general, I never feel connected to how Mermista feels. Whatever pain she experiences is there and gone in a few scenes, quickly dealt with so the story can continue. There is no exploration, no nuance, nothing to really make me appreciate any sort of depth to her experience. And so I feel little, if anything, for her plight.

Glimmer, then, is the last chance the show has to make me feel something for the Alliance Princesses’ suffering during this war, and while season four nearly does it, the series again ends up falling short.

Glimmer loses her mother. The actual sacrifice is emotional... though that emotion, admittedly, comes mainly from Adora. Glimmer’s pain comes through at the beginning of season four, when she is clearly in mourning all while needing to take Angella’s place as queen. Afterwards, season four does a fairly good job of making the loss meaningful: Glimmer becomes more and more willing to commit dark acts due to a mixture of grief and desperation. It works well, and out of all of the Princesses, I feel for her the most... until season five comes along and pretty much erases Angella from character consciousness.

Angella’s death essentially plays no role in season five. Glimmer does not appear to think back to it. While it drives her actions during season four, it appears to have been all but forgotten now, a particularly glaring shift when Catra, the one who is practically responsible, joins the group without it coming up at all. Glimmer’s other parental loss, Micah, likewise becomes meaningless not because of questionable writing choices, but because he simply never died.

Glimmer’s other problem, her rift with Bow and Adora, is repaired within an episode and never spoken of again. That... falls quite flat for me.

And so, by the end of the series, Glimmer fails to maintain a believable level of distress and thus doesn’t invoke any real emotion in me. The one thing that really mattered, that really hurt her? Suddenly irrelevant in the name of Catra’s redemption. Hm.

And while these are the specific character examples that come to mind, the general situation the Princesses find themselves also fails to carry much weight in my mind. They are in the middle of a war, yet they continue to live in luxury. Skirmishes carry a sense of light-heartedness and sometimes seem almost fun. Battle plans are developed via a game of DnD. There is just no consistent sense of urgency or severity, no believable sense of emotional depth to convey to me that these characters are in truly dire straits. Yes, there are moments... but these moments are so brief, and carry such questionable lasting impact, that they don’t connect with me the way that they should. And as a result, the plight of the Princesses just feels hollow to me.

I just... I just find myself unable to care about them because, when all is said and done, I don’t feel like they are truly in danger of real harm, or that they are realistically affected by their losses. It all just feels so shallow to me.

Now, let’s pivot and look at Hordak. Hordak, whom I still cry over on the daily. Hordak, who has owned my heart for over a year now. Hordak, who invokes in me all of the emotions.

What is the difference between Hordak and the Princesses, other than the glaring fact that he is the instigator of the Etherian war and thus a bad, bad man? What makes him snap my heartstrings in half, while the Princesses barely manage a gentle tug?

The answer is that Hordak legitimately suffers. Terribly. Consistently. Throughout the entire series. While the Princesses experience brief moments of distress that the show quickly sweeps under the rug in favor of witty banter and friendship problems, Hordak is the direct opposite: he experiences only the occasional breath of happiness while otherwise drowning in a constant sea of bitterness, fear, pain, and deep unhappiness.

From the moment we meet him, Hordak is stern and humorless and angry, and while this initially appears to be a side effect of him being a Standard Ultimate Villain Who Never Smiles, we quickly learn that it is due to his struggle. Hordak is constantly struggling against his physical defect, battling an illness that causes him not only significant health problems, but incredible shame. He is likewise constantly struggling to earn the respect and validation and nonexistent love of his god-brother. His sour demeanor, with all of its anger and dourness, originates in the fact that, throughout the overwhelming majority of the series, he is gravely unhappy. He is in ever-present distress, both physical and emotional.

And as the series goes on, does that distress lessen? No. No, instead, he is rejected by his brother, thoroughly humiliated, and brutally “reset” back into his life as an actual cult slave. Rather than having his difficulties minimized like so many Princesses do, he finds himself in ever-worsening circumstances, graduating from (supposed) “disgraced, disabled military veteran” to “enslaved cultist desperate to be loved by his loveless master.”

Any moments of happiness are not only relatively brief, they are taken away as quickly as the Princesses’ moments of difficulty are. Hordak experiences love and friendship for the first time with Entrapta, only to swiftly lose her to Catra’s lies and spiraling madness. He finally begins to win the Etherian War (which is bad, yes, I know), only to realize that his victories stem from Catra’s betrayal before the whole affair culminates in Prime’s nauseating violation of his personhood.

It does not stop. Physically, mentally, or emotionally: not until his triumph over Prime in the season five finale does Hordak stop hurting, and even that is marred by Prime taking control of his body in a final act of nightmarish control before, bless him, Hordak is freed and able to begin his recovery.

In addition to being a series constant, Hordak’s pain is conveyed. It is dramatically shown through facial expressions, through body language, through phenomenal voice work, through scenes that clearly depict real anguish.

The purification ritual is one of them; what other character do we hear scream like that, over and over, due to such terrible agony? His reunion with Prime is another; I will never forget how deeply I could sense his fear, how watching him tremble and beg instilled within me a sort of breathless panic because the scene actually made me want to instinctively protect him... but I could not because, y’know: cartoon.

Hordak’s suffering is not only ever-present, it is varied and developed and communicated to the viewer in ways that result in it making a lasting impression. It is never minimized. It is never ignored. It is painful and horrifying with little reprieve, and it has a deep, life-altering effect on him.

That, friends and neighbors, is why I think I find myself feeling so much more compassion towards Hordak than I do towards the Princesses, despite his less-enticing place on the moral spectrum. Hordak is in pain. Consistently, meaningfully. He suffers, and the story takes it with every ounce of seriousness it can muster.

The Princesses, on the other hand, either experience little hurt or, when they do suffer, do so briefly before the narrative shoves it aside in favor of Catradora other things. As a result, they fail to make the same impression. They fail to garner my compassion because, in the end, they just don’t seem to really need it.

Whereas Hordak does.

#hordak #spop princesses

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crowclubkaz · 4 years ago

Text

Blood in the Sand (Din Djarin/Cobb Vanth)

read it here on ao3

Bounty hunters don’t work for free. This has been something Din Djarin has been firm with throughout his life – yes, some jobs pay in favors rather than in credits or beskar, but they pay none the less. There are some jobs he takes on because he owes someone something, some jobs he takes on because he can’t stand to see innocent people hurt.

Mos Pelgo has neither credits, nor beskar, nor does the Mandalorian owe them anything. And yet, when a distress call is sent from the town to him, he goes without hesitation. Not because he expects something in return. Not even because he knows the place is filled with nothing but innocents. He goes because of Cobb Vanth.

The distress call had been unclear, rushed and hurried and desperate, and most notably, not from the town Marshal, that much Din can tell. But the people of Mos Pelgo remember the Mandalorian that had slain the Krayt Dragon, the knight in shining armor that had bartered peace with the Tuskens, and so they know that fearsome reputation or not, he is a friend to them. A friend to Marshal Vanth. And although the call is sent out in vain, he is the only person they know to call. A small place in the middle of Tatooine has no desire to deal with the New Republic, lest they have their lives overtaken by pilots in orange.

Before Din’s ship even touches sand, he knows exactly what sort of trouble he’s in for. While Stormtrooper armor might bleed the white snow of places like Hoth, it sticks out clear as day against the browns and beiges of Tatooine. What Stormtroopers are doing in Mos Pelgo of all places, Din doesn’t know – but that doesn’t matter. Their presence means nothing good, only brings with it death and destruction and forced submission. And while one or two Stormtroopers can be ambushed perfectly easily, even by the townsfolk of as small a place as Mos Pelgo, the twelve that Din can see sitting straight along the road through the center of town alone tell him why this is a problem much better suited for a specialist.

Ask questions first, shoot second has always been Din’s motto – he likes to know why he’s shooting before he has to. Wants to make sure nobody innocent is getting hurt before he so much as reaches for his blaster. And while he doesn’t often give Stormtroopers the benefit of the doubt, he does this time. He does this time, because the last thing he wants is anyone getting caught in the crossfire of a fully-armored shootout. It’s just being safe.

The troopers are on him before he’s so much as reached the first building in the town.

“Mandalorian,” Din hears one of them say, and he can’t discern whether it’s spoken with shock, hesitancy, or as a precursor to being shot at.

Din is silent as two troopers approach him, blasters both held across their chests.

“State your business.”

His business. Ridiculous.

“I’ve come to see an old friend,” he says, because it’s not untrue, and it’s the truth that is least likely to result in an all-out firefight. Din wants to speak to Vanth, first. Wants to understand what’s happened, needs to decide what the best course of action is with the most information possible.

“This is an Imperial outpost,” one of the troopers informs him. It makes Din tense, makes him straighten impossibly so.

“And there are still residents here,” Din continues. He can see people staring out of the windows of their homes, with so much hope in their eyes that the Mandalorian is here to save them. But they stay quiet, and stay still, because Stormtroopers aren’t known for their patience or consideration for life.

The two troopers glance at one another, before speaking again. “Who are you here to see?”

At least they’re smart enough not to dismiss someone dressed entirely in beskar steel immediately.

“The Marshal.”

It’s the soft chuckle that one of the troopers makes that has Din turning his head slightly in their direction. Din has been grateful for his helmet more often than not, for the protection and anonymity it offers – he’s grateful for it now, too, because were it not for his helmet, the sharp danger in his eyes would have given away too much.

Though the other trooper doesn’t laugh, there’s a clear amusements in his voice when he speaks. “There are no Marshals here. This village is claimed by the Empire.”

Din’s blood runs cold in a heartbeat, at the notion that Vanth might be—no. No, he isn’t. Din would know if Cobb was dead. He doesn’t know how he’d know, but he would. Or maybe that’s just lingering hope.

“Cobb Vanth, then,” Din corrects, managing to keep his voice steady, emotionless.

One trooper looks ready to threaten Din off, so entirely unconcerned by what irrelevant, useless citizen of this pathetic town the stranger is here to see. But the other cocks his head a bit, before he nods. “Vanth,” he says, and there’s recognition there. Din considers that a good thing. For a moment.

“Isn’t Vanth the one we made an example out of when we arrived?”

And Din goes still. Silent. He fires his blaster square in the trooper’s chest before either of them have even realized Din’s hand has so much as moved.

It ends the way Din had hoped it might. With twenty-two Stormtroopers dead, before a single one of them can make a distress call. No civilian casualties, or even injuries. It’s a good day. When the fighting is done and the noise has all stopped, one lone man dares to venture out into the streets, as though to make certain they’re all safe. And when he’s determined that they are, the rest of the townspeople follow hesitantly out. Some cry in relief, some kick the bodies of the troopers, already taking armor off of them.

The lone man – Din recognizes him vaguely from the battle with the dragon – steps forward, to bow his head and run a litany of praise. “Thank you,” and “we weren’t certain you had heard the call, let alone that you would come,” and “those Imperial bastards have been ravaging the town for weeks.”

Din nods in his understanding, but his mind is elsewhere. He waits until the man has seemingly finished, before Din puts his hand on the man’s shoulder. “Where is Marshal Vanth?”

The relief and gratitude on the man’s face slips into something much more somber, and he drops his gaze to the sand. “Terrible business,” the man mutters, with a shake of his head. “Terrible, terrible business.”

“Where?” Din asks again, and it’s clear it isn’t a friendly query. The man points to a house that looks like many others around it, unremarkable and undistinguishable, and Din goes to it without hesitation.

The inside is as plain and simple as the outside. It would be nearly impossible to decipher who it belongs to, were it not for the red scarf laying across the nearby table. The house has so few rooms that it doesn’t take long for Din to find the single one that’s occupied.

Inside, Cobb Vanth lays on a bed on his side. An older woman, one Din doesn’t recognize, sits behind him, intently focused on the work ahead. When she hears someone enter the room, she gasps, and stands quickly, as though to give Din some show of respect.

It’s only then that Din understands what ‘being made an example of’ looks like. Cobb is shirtless, and his back is a mess of angry, bloody lash marks, some so deep that he thinks he might see muscle. They look a few days old, at least, and that they’ve been well-tended to, but they look painful. It takes Cobb a few moments before he turns his head over his shoulder, his gaze so defeated, like he’s expecting to see a Stormtrooper standing there to finish the job. But he doesn’t. He sees Din, and the way Cobb’s face lights up makes even the brightest sun in the galaxy look dim.

“You came,” he breathes, moving to sit up, but crying out in pain and laying back down when his back protests to the movement. Din moves forward instinctively, kneeling down by the edge of the bed, a firm hand resting on Cobb’s hip to keep him from moving further. Once Cobb catches his breath, he swallows hard, and turns his head to look at the woman. “Give me a few minutes, Retta,” he says, with that soft, charming little smile. She looks at him wearily, but it isn’t because she doesn’t want to leave Cobb alone with the Mandalorian. “I’m not gonna bleed out in the five minutes you’re gone,” Cobb offers instead, and she seems to relax more at that, before excusing herself from the room.

Though, when she’s gone, the first thing Cobb does is move. “Help me up,” he says, and Din would protest to it, if he didn’t know just how stubborn Vanth was. So he offers what help he can, until Vanth is sitting at the edge of the bed, and Din stays down on one knee on the floor. Cobb is pale, in pain, looks broken in all sorts of ways, but has that look about him that still says I’m the Marshal, I’m fine, wrap me up and I’ll be good to go. It wouldn’t surprise Din if those were the first words out of Vanth’s mouth after he’d been abused so badly.

“What happened?” Din says softly, hands resting on Vanth’s knees, rubbing slow, gentle circles with his thumbs. A soothing gesture, he hopes, and it seems to work, because a bit of the stiffness in Cobb’s shoulders seeps out of his muscles.

“Troopers came through the desert, looking for a place to set up a new Imperial base. I don’t give a damn what the New Republic says, those Imperial bastards are still everywhere, if you know where to look,” Cobb breathes, with a shake of his head. “Guess they thought it’d be easier to turn a town into their little outpost instead of starting fresh. So they came in and took over. Didn’t have the firepower to stop ‘em.”

Briefly, Din feels a stab of guilt. That maybe if Cobb had still had Fett’s armor, he might’ve been able to save himself and his town. But that isn’t true, and Din knows it. It took one, fully-experienced, fully-armored, pissed-off Mandalorian to take care of the troopers, and Cobb couldn’t have managed it alone.

“Played along, for a while. Didn’t want anybody getting hurt, or worse. But I been a thorn in their side since day one,” Vanth chuckles, and lightly, Din does, too. They’re both troublemakers, for the right causes. “Managed to duck ‘em for a few weeks. But then they started going after the little ones, trying to poach ‘em, get ‘em to train to be troopers. I wasn’t putting up with that. So when I tried to stop ‘em, they pulled me out into the middle of town and—” Cobb stops, gesturing vaguely to the mess at his back. “Guessin’ you can figure out the rest.”

Din exhales slowly, head dropping a little. “I’m sorry,” he says, after a few moments. But it only makes Cobb raise a brow. “For what, huh? Unless you sent ‘em here yourself, you got nothing to be sorry for.”

“I shouldn’t have left you vulnerable.” Whether that meant letting Vanth keep the armor (which Din couldn’t do), or staying behind to protect Mos Pelgo himself (which Din also couldn’t do). But there must’ve been something he could’ve done to stop this, and he didn’t. And it makes him hurt. Makes him hurt to see Cobb hurt.

Cobb brushes his hands down over the sides of Din’s helmet, pulls him in a little closer until Din can rest his head against Cobb’s chest lightly. “Ain’t your job to keep me safe,” he offers softly, because it isn’t. Cobb can take care of himself, thank you very much. And when he can’t, well—that’s life.

Another moment of heavy silence passes by, before Din reluctantly pulls away from Vanth’s touch, and goes to take his gloves off instead. “Lay down,” he instructs, as kindly and gently as he’s capable. And Cobb does without disagreement, because sitting up hurts too damn much right now. He lets out a relieved exhale when he’s back laying down, facing the stone wall ahead of him, listening to the Mandalorian shuffle around behind him.

“This’ll hurt,” Din warns, before he’s bringing the wet cloth the woman had been using to clean Vanth’s wounds to his skin. Cobb inhales sharply, but it isn’t an unbearable pain. “You even allowed to go taking your gloves off?” Vanth teases lightly, because Cobb Vanth could be broken and bleeding, but he’ll always be charming. Din doesn’t respond, but Vanth likes to think he can tell that the Mandalorian is smiling beneath that shiny helmet.

The movements are slower and more tender than Vanth ever expected a bounty hunter to be capable of. And when the water in the bowl has run red, and Cobb’s wounds are as clean as they can be, Din reaches for the cloth to wrap the wounds back up. His work there is just as steady, just as soothing, and Cobb’s eyes briefly flutter shut whenever he can feel Din’s skin brush against his own. “I’ve taken care of the troopers here,” Din explains as he works. “If you dispose of the bodies, I doubt anyone else will come looking for such a small outpost in the middle of a desert.”

And if they do? Din will make certain that he’s one call away. One signal, one click, and he’ll be there.

“Then I guess I owe you twice over, don’t I? For the troopers, and for playing medic,” Cobb hums, and he hates owing people, but he doesn’t mind owing Din.

“You owe me nothing,” Din says quickly in return, and he means it. He means it. And that doesn’t sound like the kind of tone Vanth was to argue with, so he doesn’t.

When his back is bandaged securely, Din runs his fingers over the layers of cloth strips, wishing he could heal it all with a simple touch. But he can’t. He can’t do anything to make this right.

But he can give Vanth something else.

With Cobb still facing away from him, Din’s hands go to his helmet. And Cobb holds his breath when he hears the thing come off, closes his eyes tight, even though he can’t see Din from where he’s laying, anyways. It just feels—respectful. Right.

Cobb is no stranger to touch, of course. He’s spent a few too many nights alone in the Cantina, after all, just looking for a good time. But when Din’s lips brush so lightly over Cobb’s shoulder, the first piece of exposed skin he can reach that isn’t bloodied, Cobb swears he could damn near cry. It’s such an intimate thing, so much more intimate in ways Vanth can’t even begin to explain.

“I’m sorry,” Din says again, his lips brushing Vanth’s shoulder as he speaks. Another kiss, then, to Cobb’s bicep. And as Din raises up on his knees, he can see that Cobb’s eyes are shut, and the warmth that fills Din is so overwhelming. Everyone he’s ever met has asked about the helmet, has all but begged him to see beneath it. And Din knows Cobb wants to see, too. But Din’s comfort and his Creed matter to Vanth, and he puts that before his own desire, even at his weakest.

Vanth is trembling lightly by the time Din kisses his cheek, and every part of Cobb wants to turn and catch Din’s lips, but he doesn’t. Doesn’t let himself push so far, because this intimacy is a gift he’s being given, and he knows better than to push his luck, or worse, be ungrateful.

“It isn’t my job to keep you safe,” Din agrees, so desperately softly. “But I’d like it to be.” And Din kisses Cobb properly, then, feels those rough lips against his own, and they melt into one another. But Cobb is still hurt, and Din is hyper-aware of that, so he pulls back long before either of them will need to start gasping for air, even when Vanth chases after the kiss in desperate for more.

No one’s ever offered to keep Cobb safe before. He’s always been something of a lone ranger, always keeping other people safe, always the first line of defense. And Maker, he wants to keep Din safe, too, but there’s really not much he can do for a man that’ll jet straight inside of a damned dragon without telling anyone about it first. Maybe the best that they can do is… protect each other. Or do their hardest.

“C’mere,” Vanth says, gesturing with his head to what little space is left in front of him on the bed. And armor and all, Din lays down with Cobb, and brings his hand up to brush over Vanth’s cheek. Cobb chases the touch like he needs it to survive, eyes still shut so tightly, just trying to get a feel for Din without really seeing him. He nestles in closer against all of that beskar, cool to the touch even under the hot suns. It settles and soothes him, makes him relax more than he has in months, let alone since the Stormtroopers invaded.

“Cobb,” Din half-whispers, in an attempt not to disturb the peace he’s created. “You can open your eyes.” Vanth recoils the barest bit, like he’s absolutely shocked, like even though he’s been given permission, he doesn’t know if he’s allowed. It makes Din smile, and he rubs his thumb over Cobb’s cheek. “You can. It’s okay.”

So, he does.

And he studies Din’s face for a long, long time. Takes in every inch of him, like he’s worried he’s gonna have to memorize this now, because he’ll never be able to see it again. “Huh,” Cobb says, after a moment. “Brown eyes.” He doesn’t know why he’d been expecting green.

“Brown eyes,” Din chuckles softly with a nod, still so unused to being... seen. Once the initial shock of getting to see Din has left Cobb, the barest hint of a smirk tugs at his lips. “Knew you’d be too damn handsome for your own good,” he says, just to see if he can get Din’s cheeks to go pink. And they do, a bit. It’s rewarding as all hell.

And this time, it’s Vanth that kisses Din first. And he goes slow, takes his time, brings his own hand up to brush through Din’s hair. It’s soft. Perfect. Just like everything else about him. Cobb knows in that moment that he’d do anything Din ever asked of him, and Din knows he’d do the same in return. Amongst all of the blood, and the sand, and the pain, they’ve found… this. Whatever this is. It’s more than either of them think they deserve, but neither of them are going to complain about having it. And as much as they both wish it hadn’t taken a public lashing to get here, fate isn’t always the kindest thing.

When they pull away, Cobb’s panting a bit, and Din’s trying not to. Can’t let Vanth see him breathless, otherwise his ego might swell too big for his own good.

“Think I could get used to keeping a Mandalorian around,” Cobb smiles.

Din mirrors the expression. “Think I could get used to staying.”

#dincobb #cobbdin #din djarin x cobb vanth #cobb vanth x din djarin #cobb x din #din x cobb #the mandalorian #din djarin #cobb vanth #mine #my fic #fic

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hellishhin · 3 years ago

Text

The Ball: Part 2

Length: ~1,300 words

Content warnings: execution threats, mild emotional manipulation

Summary: Taerand decides a punishment befit for his broken property but Sadie intervenes to save Brimir's life.

Taglist: (adds/removes always open!) @betwixtofficial @taerandcalentavar @talesfromaurea @faelanvance @definitelyquestionit @drippingmoon @dontcrywrite @a-wild-bloog

Without any obvious signal, guards came through the front door, one grabbing Brimir by the shoulders and another making straight for K’lai’a’la who was now twisting in the man’s tight grip. The guard wasn’t halfway across the hall when a flurry of red forced itself between the man and K’lai’a’la. Kireen had the elf tucked under one arm and a threatening finger pointed at who she recognized as Thori Bjornison. If only she had her sword.

“Bring them to the study,” Taerand commanded and gave an emphatic glare at Kireen so she knew the command included her. She knew better than to make a scene.

“Don’t worry, it was a big misunderstanding,” she comforted K’lai’a’la who was glaring daggers at Taerand then Thori and back again. A brief search of the crowd found Sadie hurrying along at the heels of the guard shoving a stumbling Brimir. She was begging the guard to let him go and that it wasn’t his fault.

With little ceremony the three heroes and Brimir found themselves standing at Taerand’s ornate desk once again. Kireen wasn’t pleased that she had landed here a second time.

They could hear Taerand address his crowd just outside the door, “my apologies for the interruption. Please excuse me while I deal with this situation.” He stepped inside with the door shutting quietly behind him. That was even worse than if he had slammed it.

“Look it wasn’t Brimir’s fault he was just dancing and-” a wave of his hand had Sadie silenced. There were new shadows on his features finally betraying the harshness he kept hidden so well. Taerand turned his icy-cold gaze toward Brimir.

“Who are you,” he asked in a low tone.

Sadie looked up at Brimir then Taerand, confused. She spoke before Brimir could answer “what are you talking about, you invited him?” Brimir shifted from foot to foot but Taerand just continued to stare, ignoring Sadie.

Brimir cleared his throat “I uh… I really apologize, Ser Calentavar. I simply wanted to meet your heroes.”

“Something you could not have done at the Laughing Stag where they spend most of their time?”

Brimir shrunk down even further, his face reddening and sweat beading upon his brow.

“Tell me how you managed to gain entrance to my home, uninvited.”

“The guard out front… had a basket of invitations. I just,” he swallowed hard and Taerand’s sharp green eyes looked like they were going to bore a hole in his face so he quickly continued “I pretended to re-lace my boot and I grabbed one from the basket. When I showed it to him he just nodded and let me in.”

A muscle in Taerand’s jaw feathered and Sadie knew that guard was going to be in a terrible place later. She stepped forward. “Ser Calentavar, if I may, he is coming from a place of innocence. Yes, he technically wasn’t invited but he just came here to meet with us. He wasn’t trying to steal anything or hurt anyone.”

When he turned his gaze to her, even she shrunk a little. There was something about his cold, calculated anger that turned her stomach more than if he yelled. “His intentions are irrelevant. Entering a residence uninvited is against the law even without destroying my property. Including the price of the vase he destroyed, I am within my right to have him executed.”

A chill ran down Sadie’s spine. He wouldn’t… Just for an accident?

“Simply because you have the right does not mean you need to follow through,” Kireen matched his coldness.

He gave her a disinterested look, “I will do as I see fit. He broke into my-”

“He walked in when you had the doors wide open. That’s not considered ‘breaking and entering’.”

Taerand’s nostrils flared just slightly at the interruption “then I am assuming you have three hundred and fifty gold to replace my property,” he said, knowing she did not. Kireen pressed her lips together but stayed silent.

Sadie didn’t think that much gold existed in all of the common homes of Stawold combined but Taerand wouldn’t have Brimir executed. He wouldn’t. Then his gaze turned upon K’lai’a’la.

“You threatened physical violence upon one of my guests, a notable one at that. With your lack of standing within this city, you also should be facing death.”

“No.” Sadie said before the last syllable fully cleared the air. “You can’t do that, she got scared and it was not her fault,” her hands started shaking but K’lai’a’la was standing tall and staring Taerand down.

“Cannot hurt me. I do not belong to the city,” K’lai’a’la snarled, barely louder than a whisper.

“In fact, I can. But I shall make an offer. As you helped with my favor, I will speak on your behalf for your sentence to merely be a day in the stocks or a flogging, perhaps. For the burglar, I shall have his life in exchange for the value of my property,” he said it as though he was simply stating what he thinks the weather would be tomorrow but it was clear to everyone in the room that his mind was made up. “Unless the price of my vase can be given to me by dawn,” he added almost mockingly.

“We can’t pay but I have a counter-offer,” Sadie found herself saying before she even realized what was coming out of her mouth. Taerand waited for her to continue but Kireen interrupted once again.

“Sadie whatever it is, it’s not worth-” “Let her finish,” and Kireen reluctantly fell silent. “If you promise to not execute Brimir and don’t send K’lai’a’la to the stocks, I’ll work for you; a life for a life.”

Kireen placed her entire hand over Sadie’s face “absolutely not!” she snarled and Sadie pulled her hand away, glaring up at Kireen. “Don’t put your hand over my face again. I will do whatever I want, you don’t tell me otherwise.” Seeing the ire in Sadie’s eyes made Kireen think carefully about her next words.

“I’m sorry Sadie, I shouldn’t have done that. But please think about what you’re doing. This man would execute someone over an accident. You don’t want to work for him,” there was even a plea in her tone.

“Do not belong to this man, Sadie,” K’lai’a’la’s soft voice startled both of them and when they looked, they saw the hardness in the elf’s eyes. That gave Sadie pause and when she looked to Taerand, she found him staring right back at her, almost evaluating.

“Is there anything else I can do?” She asked, managing to keep most of the desperation out of her voice.

“Your options are simple: repay me the full cost of my property or I have him executed at dawn. K’lai’a’la will serve an appropriate punishment rather than execution. But I am willing to entertain your previous offer.”

Sadie swallowed “then I’ll work for you while both Brimir and K’lai’a’la go free.”

“Done,” he said before either Kireen or K’lai’a’la could protest. Spared execution, Brimir’s entire body swayed with relief. The poor man had been still as stone, petrified into silence. “Thank you…” he breathed but the dragonborn bared her teeth in a snarl, angry with all three of them “then I guess we are done here?” she snapped.

“Yes. All four of you will calmly leave my home. Sadie, pack your things tonight. I will send for you in the morning.”

“Wait, why am I packing my things? The Stag is not that far, I can walk.”

“Servants live on their master’s estates,” he said simply but those words made her shudder. At least she would get to live in a manor like she always wanted. Maybe this would be a good thing.

[next post]----[previous post]

#oc #d&d #writeblr #original work #sadieblaze #kireen #k'lai'a'la #taerand #brimir #post 31 #oh boy this took me forever to churn out #please let me know if POV was weird on this one #thank you Aurene for your advice!#please enjoy #<3

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kitty-cat-is-back · 4 years ago

Text

New Neighbor

Pairing: Sero Hanta x Reader

Word Count: 3.7k

A/N: Hello everyone! This is just a oneshot that I came up with today, so it has no relation to my chapter fic (but I am working on chapter 3 still)! But I have to give credit to @reinawritesbnha for being my inspo. She made me a Sero fucker and opened me up to the wonderful world of toys. Anyways, I hope you guys enjoy this and let me know if I should make a taglist for my future writings!

Warnings: 18+ SMUT!! Do not interact if you are under 18, please and thank you!, PWP, ABO (kink), mentions of sex toys, plot twist?

Just one more box.

Just one more and you would be fully moved into your new apartment. You had managed to get a few friends and family members to help you with large furniture, but you pretty much moved all of the small stuff by yourself. It had been a long, taxing day, but soon enough you would be relaxing in your new home. That is... after you unpack everything.

But there was a slight problem.

This last box was big and it was heavy. So there you were, standing at the entrance to your apartment complex, desperately trying to open the door while also not dropping this stupid box. You probably looked pitiful to anyone passing by.

Suddenly, the box was taken from your arms, a literal weight being lifted from you, as you heard a kind voice, “Hey, let me help you there!”

Now free to move faster than before, you whirled your head up to see who this stranger was, finding a tall, lean man with a wide smile now carrying that stupid box like it weighed nothing. You felt your cheeks heat up, but you weren’t quite sure if it was from all of the manual labor you did today or the sight before you. Your brain stuttered for a bit before finally processing what was happening, “I uh… I can carry that! I-It was just the door that I was having issues with…”

The man merely kept his sweet, genuine smile, “Well, I know that! I saw you carry it all the way up to the door, but you’ve been moving stuff all day, right? Allow me to help the lady with her box. After all, I’m sure your arms could use a break.”

Your arms were pretty sore. Plus, you did like looking at the way the man’s arms flexed and strained while carrying your box. You attempted to casually fix your messy hair as you pretended to ponder his offer, “Well… I suppose you can help me. I hope this isn’t too much of a bother though…” you said as you opened the door for him.

The man chuckled as he made his way into the apartment complex, “It’s not a bother at all! It’s especially no trouble to help out a girl as cute as you,” he stated casually, making his way to the elevator and pressing the button with his knee.

The upfront flirting made you actually choke on air. You tried to cover it up by making it seem like you were clearing your throat, thankfully he seemed a bit too preoccupied with the elevator to see the absolute embarrassment that was plastered on your face. Were all guys this upfront or was he just an exception? You let out a nervous giggle, “W-Well, I appreciate it!” you said, too nervous to attempt to flirt back.

Once the elevator opened up, you both stepped inside and you pressed the button for the fourth floor. The man’s brows quirked up with interest, “Fourth floor? That’s where I live too! What’s your apartment number??”

“408…?”

“Damn, what a coincidence! I live in 407! We’re neighbors! I guess we’ll be seeing each other around a lot! Listen, if you need anything, heavy lifting, or not, just let me know! I’m always ready to lend a hand!”

You hummed and nodded, though you were a bit more concerned with how you would handle living next to a man with such a chiseled jawline. You both stepped out of the elevator and walked to your apartment. After unlocking the door, you stepped inside, “Here’s home. Though, I’m sure it looks very similar to your place. You can just set the box down anywhere by the way!”

The man walked in after you, distracted by his surroundings, “Hey… I think you got one of the renovated- Oh shit!” he yelled out, tripping over one of the many boxes strewn about the room and dropping the box he was currently moving, the contents spilling out onto the floor.

Your eyes bulged out of your head as you quickly went to check on the man, “Oh God! Are you ok? That was quite the fall! You didn’t hurt yourself anywhere, did you??” you asked, scanning his body for injuries.

The man was quick to shake his head, “No no, I’m fine! But your stuff… Shit, I’m so sorry! Here, let me clean this up… Fuck…” he cursed, reprimanding himself for not watching where he was going.

You gave a small sigh of relief when he noted he was fine, before bending down to help him clean up the stuff that fell out of the box, “It’s really ok! There was nothing that important in there, so you really don’t have to worry about it!”

Your words fell on deaf ears as the man was currently examining one of the items that had fallen out of the box. It was a green, silicone dildo with a shape he hadn’t quite seen before. It had a weird tip and near the base of the shaft was an almost ball shape knot. He picked it up and started sizing it, almost checking to see how it compared to himself.

You had finally looked up from your cleaning to see your neighbor playing with one of your dildos. A look of horror stretched across your face as you quickly scrambled to come up with some sort of excuse, “T-That’s not- You see, that was a gift, I’ve never even used-”

The man laughed, still examining the toy, “You don’t have to be embarrassed! I’ve seen a dildo and a dick before, though I haven’t seen one that looks like this before… What’s this ball at the bottom?” he asked, genuinely curious.

Somehow your face went hot while your blood ran cold. Was it too late to get out of your lease and move far, far away?? You swallowed thickly as you prepared for the shame, “Um… I-It’s a knot. It’s like a… It’s an alpha/omega thing,” you answered, not really sure why you were exposing your kinks to this stranger.

“...Isn’t that like a furry thing?”

“IT’S NOT A FURRY THING!”

The man laughed and gently set the toy back in the box, “I’m just teasing! I’ve heard of that before… Doesn’t it have to do with wolves or something like that?”

“It’s based on animalistic tendencies, but it’s more than that!” you rebutted, finding yourself wanting to crawl into a hole and die in more and more as the conversation continued.

The man hummed, “I see… Well, I won’t question it any further,” he said as he stood up and brushed off his pants.

You let out a small huff and stood up, finding that you couldn’t quite meet his eyes anymore, “W-Well anyways! Thanks for your help! I really appreciate it! You can leave now! I’ll let you know if I need any help!” you hurriedly said, trying to escort the man out the door.

The man seemed more amused than anything as he went along with your pushing, “I can see when I’m not wanted,” he stated sarcastically. Just before he was pushed out the door, he stopped in the threshold, slamming his hand on the doorframe, “Just… One more thing.”

Couldn’t this man see you were busy dying of embarrassment? You shifted uncomfortably, “Yes? What is it?”

All of a sudden, the man closed the open door behind him and trapped you between the door and him. He forcefully placed one hand against the door right next to your head and then used the other to gently grab your chin and make you look at him. He tilted your chin up and examined your shocked features, drinking in the innocent expression, “Tell me… Do you have an Alpha… Omega?”

Your jaw dropped as you stared into the dark pools of his eyes, “W-What…?”

The man smirked, “Did you not hear me, little one? I said… Do you have an Alpha, Omega?”

Oh fuck. You let out a shaky breath as you quickly shook your head back and forth, already feeling a heat building up in your core.

“I see… Well, how brave of you. A sweet, little omega living all alone with no big, strong alpha to take care of you. Though, there’s a big, strong alpha right here… Ready to take care of an omega like yourself,” he purred. He dropped the hand holding your chin and leaned in closer, enough so that his nose was in the crook of your neck. He took a deep whiff before letting out an almost sigh of relief, “Your scent… It’s almost too intoxicating for me… Could it be that you’re in heat?”

You let out a gasp, “W-Wait… How do you know about that?” you asked, unsure if you wanted to know the answer.

The man ignored your query and simply started placing small, feather-like kisses on your neck, earning little sounds from you. He slowly moved his free hand up and down your side, feeling every curve and dip. He moved his kisses up your neck, to your jawline, and ended at the corner of your lips, “Do you want me Omega?”

Your mouth opened, but nothing but small whimpers came out. This is either a joke or one hell of a way to introduce someone to the neighborhood. You swallowed before opening your mouth again, this time coming up with some words, “I… I don’t even know your name…”

“It’s Hanta. Hanta Sero. But that’s irrelevant since the only thing you should be calling me is Alpha,” he said, settling both of his hands now at your hips and looking deeply into your eyes, “So Omega?”

Fuck it. You quickly nodded your head and wrapped your arms around his neck, “Yes Alpha… Yes, I want you. I need you…” you whined, trying to tug at his neck to bring his lips to yours, but he wasn’t budging.

Hanta chuckled darkly, “What do you need Omega?”

“I… I need your knot Alpha...”

Hanta groaned in delight before quickly closing the distance between you and smashing his lips on yours. His hands moved from your hips to the back of your thighs before hoisting you up like you were nothing.

You let out a noise of protest as you pulled away, “H-Hanta! I’m heavy!” you called out, smacking his shoulder as a sign to put you down.

This only made him dig his nails into the fat of your thighs, “One, I think we both know that I can do some heavy lifting. Two, you weigh nothing to me. And three, you’re getting punished the next time you don’t call me Alpha, got it?” he lectured.

You let out a small whimper of defeat and nodded, “Y-Yes Alpha…” you murmured before resuming the kiss.

Hanta growled with approval as he took you both into the bedroom, only pulling away to check to make sure he knew where he was going. He’d beat himself up for weeks if he dropped you like he did that box earlier. He caught sight of the disassembled bed frame and the bare mattress on the floor. It would have to suffice for this time. He slowly lowered himself down on his knees on the mattress before gently laying you down on the bed, all while keeping you entertained with his lips. He pulled away and examined you underneath him. Your sweet parted lips that let out breathy pants, your half-lidded eyes that were fully lust blown, and just your everything was intoxicating to him.

You let out a small whine and pawed at his chest to get his attention, “Alpha…?”

Hanta smiled and gently brushed your cheek with the back of his hand, “Such a pretty omega… I can’t wait to see what faces you’ll make for your alpha…” he muttered before giving you another kiss, this one slow and languid. His slightly chapped lips moved against yours expertly, almost distracting enough for you not to notice the stray hand crawling up your shirt. Almost. You couldn’t help but shudder at the way his hands caressed your skin, handling you as if you were delicate porcelain.

You moaned into his lips as you moved your own hands up to thread through his dark hair. If you didn’t know any better, you’d say this was a dream. Before you could question the reality of your situation for too long, you felt the man above you pull away, urging you to sit up slightly so he could discard your shirt, shortly followed by your sports bra.

Once again, Hanta had to look at the enchanting creature beneath him. Everything about you was perfect to him. He trailed his hands up and down your bare sides before gently grazing over your breasts, immediately infatuated with your perky nipples. He licked his lips before bending down and kissing your neck one more, but this time with a lot more intent and purpose behind it. He licked and sucked wherever he could, placing mark after mark on your neck and collarbone.

You were still keeping quiet for the most part, only letting out soft moans and whimpers, “A-Alpha… I’ve been sweating all day from moving…” you softly protested, though you weren’t exactly telling him to stop anything.

Hanta groaned and only just barely pulled enough to get out the words, “Even better,” before latching himself back on to your skin, taking even more time to lap up every inch of you. He made his way down to your breasts and gave one of your nipples a testing lick, earning a much louder gasp from you than before. He gave a smug smirk, “Oh Omega… You taste so sweet…” he whispered before taking in one of your nipples in his mouth and sucking on it, making sure to give the other one some much-needed attention by tweaking and pinching it.

You let out your first deep moan, “Alpha… Oh God…” You arched your back to push yourself further into his ministrations. You wanted more of his touch. Anything that he would give you.

After finally feeling satisfied with his work on your breasts, he knew exactly where he wanted to go next. He moved further down, placing a few quick kisses down your stomach, moving past the true prize, and giving your inner thighs some pecks as well. He glanced at your face again, your need evident. Finding himself starting to get impatient, he grabbed at your short athletic shorts and underwear and slowly pulled them down your legs, revealing your glistening heat to him. He watched the silvery strings of your need stretch from your pussy to your panties as he separated you from your clothes. He tossed them off somewhere in the room and stared down at his treasure with desire, “Oh Omega… All this for me? I didn’t know you needed me so badly…” he teased as he moved your thighs to his shoulders.

You looked down at the man in between your legs, gulping at the sight. It almost scared you how calm his expression was, but the look in his eyes reminded you of all one thing. A predator hunting its prey. Your chest heaved in anxious anticipation, “A-Alpha, please… I need you so bad…”

That was all it took for Hanta to bury himself in between your legs and lick a long stripe through your slit. He was practically preening when he heard your wanton moan and felt the tight grip on his hair. He took this as an encouragement to go harder. He decided to give your clit extra attention, sucking and nipping at the sensitive bud.

Your thighs clenched tightly around Hanta’s head, subconsciously moving your hips down on his face. If you were in a better state of mind, you might’ve worried about suffocating the poor man. His tongue felt like heaven on your sensitive area, almost making you wish you could keep him down there forever. You felt the coil in the pit of your stomach tighten from his work, “Oh god yes… Yes, right there Hant- AH!” you let out a yelp when you felt an especially sharp bite down there. You realized your mistake and quickly corrected yourself, “I-I mean A-Alpha…” you moaned, earning you an encouraging hum. The vibrations alone almost sent you over the edge.

Hanta quickly entered a finger into your dripping hole, still working his mouth on your clit. He curled and twisted his finger inside of you, making sure to hit that sweet spongy spot. He added another finger, and then another. He worked you with three of his fingers, spreading and stretching your tight pussy.

You could feel yourself getting close. Like really close. He was doing so much that your body and mind were honestly overwhelmed. You kept grinding your hips down to meet his mouth, “Yes Alpha… More… More… There… I…” you tilted your head back, feeling ready to snap before suddenly there was nothing. Your head snapped back up towards Hanta as you let out a frustrated whine, ready to protest and pout.

Hanta chuckled and brought himself back up to your face, giving you a deep kiss as he let you taste yourself. He pulled away ever so slightly, “None of that Omega… If you want to come, you have to come on your Alpha’s cock, got it?” he commanded before pulling back completely to stand up and discard his clothes. As he pulled down his pants and underwear, the cock that was previously imprisoned sprung out, bobbing up and down slightly. His cock was long and slightly curved, weeping pre-cum in anticipation. He crawled back over top of you and pressed a firm kiss on your lips as he lined up with your heat.

You choked at the feeling of the stretch as he pushed in, though it slid in easier than you expected. He sank into you all the way, staying a moment for you to adjust. His chest rose and fell quickly, noticing a lack of control on his face since this started. He let out an intense huff before pulling out and then harshly thrusting back in. He set up a rough pace as he continued to thrust his dick along your velvety walls. His hips rutted up against yours as he peered down at you, “Is this what you wanted Omega? You wanted my knot? Tell me how bad you want it…”

You had long forgotten your efforts to keep quiet. You were moaning, yelling, and cried out for Hanta. You dug your nails into his back as you held on for dear life, “Yes! Hanta! Alpha! I want your knot! I want your knot so so so much! I want you to fill up with your pups!”

Hanta’s eyes burned with desire, “Pups, huh? You want me to fill up that pretty pussy of yours with my cum?” he asked, giving you an extra sharp thrust as you cried out in agreement. He chuckled darkly, “If that’s what my Omega wants… But you gotta cum for you Alpha first… I know my pretty Omega can do it…” he purred, angling his hard and fast thrusts upwards to apply even more pressure on your g-spot.

You felt it again. You were close. Your eyes rolled back into your head as you let yourself get fucked by your new neighbor, “Yes Hanta… Alpha… Yes, I’m so close… I’m… I’m-”

BEEP BEEP BEEP

Your eyes shot open as you woke up in your room, which was fully unpacked and put together. You searched for your phone and quickly shut off the annoying alarm. Your chest heaved as you tried to regain your composure. You sat up and looked around, noting the early morning light spilling through the window and the lack of a certain person in the room. You sighed and threw your head back into the headboard, letting out a frustrated groan. Ever since you moved in a month ago and met your neighbor, Hanta, you’ve been having wet dreams about him almost every night. You honestly felt disgusted with yourself for having such intense desires for a man you’ve only shared a couple of sentences with. You shook your head and sighed. You really need to get out of the house more. Deciding that the night’s events had left you feeling disgusting, you got up and hopped in the shower, getting ready for the workday��

~~~

You stepped onto the elevator and pressed the button for the first floor. As the door was about to shut, a large hand stopped it, making you jump. The elevator doors opened back up, revealing the man you see in your dreams every night dressed in a criminally low cut workout shirt and some athletic shorts.

The man stepped into the elevator with his usual right smile, “Gooood morning! Getting ready to head off to work?” he asked as he pressed the close door button.

You kept your gaze down and simply nodded, “Uh-huh. And you? Getting ready for a run?”

Hanta laughed lightly, “Yea… It’s a good way to start out the day! It also helps that I work from home, so I can basically start work whenever. I’m not on the man's time!” He joked, letting out another laugh.

You laughed with him but didn’t say anything further. You just wanted to get out of the elevator as soon as possible. As the doors opened up to the first floor, you were the first one to move, “Well I guess I’ll see you late-”

You were interrupted when an arm stopped you from leaving the elevator, trapping you between the wall of the elevator and… Hanta. Hanta smiled as he peered at you, using his other hand to gently grab your chin and make you look at him, “I just wanted to say that…” he paused and leaned in next to your ear, “The walls in these apartments are pretty thin… Omega…” he said, pulling away with a satisfied smirk before running off and out the door of the apartment complex, leaving you in the elevator to deal with that.

After finally processing what had actually happened, you bolted out of the door, “WAIT! HANTA, COME BACK!”

#hanta sero x reader #sero x reader #mha sero #sero hanta x reader #sero #bnha #bnha fanfiction #bnha imagines #abo #hanta x reader #sero hanta

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asterekmess · 4 years ago

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1-4 What the fuck is a true alpha? A recurring joke? A convenient plot armor? A desperate attempt to make an irrelevant character look ‘relevant’ despite canon showing otherwise? Scott/Posey Stans think that Scott McCall has a right to command and dictate everyone’s life because he is a tWuE aLpAhA; Scott has a right to play judge, jury & executioner with his “inferior” friends, and he has a right to determine what is wrong or right based on his own benefit and bigoted black and white mentality.

2-4 If you think that this sounds an awful lot like the Divine Right of Kings, you are absolutely right. An unearned (and undeserved) mystical superiority or blessing, a fabricated sense of purity, goes a long way in ameliorating Scott McCall’s Failures and Fuck-ups. And like kings who rule by Divine Right, he can do as he likes. Which is why Scott can patronize and lie to Allison and Kira to control them, assault Isaac and Jackson due to his own pathological jealousy and possessiveness,

3-4 use Hayden (Liam’s girlfriend) as bait against the Dread Doctors without her consent to play the hero, dehumanize Stiles and accuse Stiles of being a violent, dangerous, inhuman monster and serial killer for daring to accidentally kill his abuser in self-defense, sell Derek and his Pack to the hunters, refuse to tell his girlfriend Allison the truth about her mother’s death to look ‘good’ in her eyes,

4-4 plot/conspire with Gerard Argent and Deaton behind everyone’s back to violate Derek Hale’s boundaries, bodily autonomy and consent for his own benefit, claim that the Argents had a reason to slaughter the Hales (including HUMANS and CHILDREN) in front of Derek Hale and of his comatose uncle – and then Scott/Posey Stans will consider everyone kicking Scott’s whiny, toxic excuse of an ass to the curb and not giving an utter crap when Scott died in Season 5 as an act equivalent of treason

I put all your asks together so I didn’t get confused (which is v likely to happen) and I thank you for numbering them for me. <3

The concept of a true alpha...sigh. Look, I see the intention, okay? I see the goal, the idea that you don’t have to kill someone to become an Alpha. That there can be “Good” Alphas who haven’t killed anyone. But I also think it’s lazy writing. This is one the few instances where TW hadn’t actually shot themselves in the foot yet. They gave us so little information on werewolves that they never actually said that the only way to become an Alpha was by killing another Alpha. They could very easily have said “Also, you can become an Alpha this other way” (Be it by passing the Alpha spark down to children willingly, or being beaten in a special kind of combat, or through a ritual of some kind)

But they didn’t just want another way to be the Alpha. They wanted a way that didn’t take any effort. It would be too hard to introduce another Alpha that would give up their spark to Scott, or to have him put in the effort to do a ritual. They needed a way to make Scott an Alpha without any additional effort. Part of me honestly wonders if they did it because they knew they’d lost a lot of Scott fans by the end of Season 2, what with all of his betrayals and lies and what he did to Derek. They needed a way to reaffirm that Scott was the good guy, so they made up the True Alpha thing and said “Look! He’s so pure and goodhearted and he has so much good will, that he can’t even help but become an Alpha”

They demonized werewolves by reducing them to murderers who had to kill for power (In Derek’s case it was survival, and i’ll fight for him.) and then held Scott up as a saint because he managed it without killing.

Except that he had killed. Or at least tried to kill. How could he be this pure person they claimed if he spent weeks poisoning a cancer patient, lying to everyone around him, and he took Pleasure in it. He was Proud of himself for his lies and his tricks and for getting back at Derek by hurting him. That’s the kind of behavior we expect from Stiles, who is established as a morally gray character. You cannot have Scott do something like that and then make the claim that he is morally pure.

Once Scott finds out from Morrell that killing someone will take away his True Alpha status, he goes out of his way to avoid killing people even when it puts others at risk. This ISN’T an Avatar moment, okay? He doesn’t summon the power of his ancestors and render the villains completely incapable of harm. He just fucking lets them go! Deucalion gets his fucking eyesight back for fuck’s sake. He was MORE dangerous than before and they let him go! (I know Derek was part of that, but I’m pretty sure Derek was possessed by a pod person by that point)

He never said he’d behave. No one checked on him or watched to make sure he didn’t hurt anyone. They just let him leave. He could’ve just rebuilt a new Alpha pack. Could’ve killed dozens more people.

Jennifer would have too, had Peter not killed her.

Even better, he brings Ethan and Aiden into his pack. They walked right up to him and told him “Everyone is hunting for us because we killed a ton of people” and he just took them in? Gave them protection from the families of the people they’d slaughtered? All because they followed him around for a bit and said “We’ll only kill for you from now on.”

And this is why I get so frustrated about the blue eyes. The concept of ‘taking an innocent life’ is so fucking vague? Scott is indirectly responsible for countless deaths throughout the show. Whether by inaction or because the people doing the killing were acting on his orders, or whatever the fuck else I can’t think of at the moment. It doesn’t matter if he hasn’t intended to kill anyone. He should not still have his True Alpha status. Period. But he does, so apparently Scott can kill as many people as he wants, actually, so long as he doesn’t do it with his own claws and teeth. Or maybe he just can’t kill a human who hasn’t killed anyone else? Who the fuck knows.

I’ll say it again. If The Alpha spark can be used to heal someone, why didn’t Scott use it to save Allison? She wasn’t cursed. She was stabbed. He could’ve done the same thing Derek did. Peter even said that it can be done on accident. All it requires is that he do the pain drain and not stop when it starts to hurt.

To be quite honest, I don’t blame Scott’s True Alpha eyes for his entitlement and his belief that he can do no wrong. He held that same notion way before his eyes ever turned red. The eyes are to blame for no one else calling him out for his actions. You’re told by the only fucking person who seems to know what’s going on in the supernatural world that this kid’s eyes turned red all on their own because he is meant to be an Alpha. That it’s because he is good and pure and it’s a sign of his worthiness. He literally was just gifted extra power, apparently because he’s the only one worthy of it. How the fuck are you supposed to deal with that? Are you supposed to be the one person who tells fucking Werewolf Jesus (technically Derek is Actual werewolf jesus what with the evolution thing, but before that Scott’s as close as it gets cus’ Peter’s just a zombie.) that he doesn’t know best? That he’s doing something wrong? If the Powers that Be made Scott an Alpha, what will they do to the one who tells him he fucked up? Everyone is just supposed to trust that Scott must be in the right. That his reasons are good enough. That he knows what’s best. Because if he doesn’t, then why the sudden Alpha eyes? Peter questions Scott often and happily, mostly because he doesn’t care if he gets struck by lightning or something. It’ll always be worth it to get that last quip in. Eventually Stiles starts to argue too, because he’s reached the point where he doesn’t care if he dies so long as everyone else important to him stops getting hurt. That’s when Scott starts cutting him out. When he stops believing Scott knows best.

And honestly, it’s like the first post I made that sparked this whole ranting binge. Scott cheats. He cheats and he uses his abilities to his advantage without ever thinking of what it does to other people. Except this time he’s not cheating at lacrosse. He’s not taking credit for bowling six strikes in a row. For some reason his eyes turned red, and everyone else is taking it as a sign that he must know better and he should be in charge, and he never disagrees.

Sure, he complains. “Why me? Why does it have to be my responsibility?”

Guess what buddy? It fucking doesn’t. If you stopped fucking ordering people around and admitted you don’t know what you’re doing to someone besides your MOM and you want someone else to take the lead? THEY WOULD. But because he will not admit any kind of weakness or that he isn’t sure what to do, he puts the weight on himself. He blames everyone else for the lead weights he tied around his waist. He doesn’t want to have to do the work, but he hates the idea of someone else being in charge. Of not being important. We’re told right off the bat that Scott wants to be important. He wants to be on first line not because he loves the game, but because he wants to be popular. He wants Allison to go out with him. This is just another way he wants to be important, and he won’t ever let go of it. He gives orders and makes calls on who gets to know what and who is worthy and won’t take responsibility for the failures, but happily takes credit for the successes. When he fucks up by not talking to people or by lying to them or making a bad call, he doesn’t admit it. He doesn’t tell anyone. He lets them think that he’s blameless so that when he actually says shit like “I lost them” someone will say “They’ll come back because you’re their leader” No. He’s not. He lost them because he pushed them away. It was his fault.

Whatever. I’m salty. *pouts* Anyway. True Alpha is dumb, and I’ve read a couple theories about how Deaton made it up, and tbh, I’d follow that logic. If you’re curious, I think I tagged it ‘true alpha’ or ‘deaton’ on my blog.

#personal #go for it #meta ramblings #anti-scott mccall #rant #much love to you sweet anon #Anonymous

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hellsbellschime · 4 years ago

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Hmm, interesting. How do you think Jenye Westerling is connected to the prophesy? I've heard of Sansa, Margaery, Dany and even Arianne but never Jenye?

Well, there are obvious hints that the whole marriage between Jeyne and Robb was a bit of a honey pot scenario even though Jeyne doesn’t seem to be aware of it, and it’s actually quite likely that Tywin set it up specifically so the Frey alliance would fall apart, although I think that the Freys may have been in on it from the start as well.

And, while the Red Wedding certainly yielded short term gains for House Lannister and for the crown, in the long run it absolutely crushed House Lannister and Cersei as well. It meant that once the specter of Tywin’s brutality was gone, no one would fear their house and no one would actually want to align with them because they’re traitors and the worst of the fucking worst basically. I mean it’s no coincidence that in order to make this happen their strongest alliances immediately become House Frey and House Bolton, two houses that have zero respect or admiration from anyone even before the Red Wedding.

I obviously expect that Tommen and Myrcella’s deaths will come about differently in the books anyway, and clearly there are good reasons why Joffrey, Tommen, and Myrcella will die regardless of the Red Wedding, but this whole clusterfuck really did signal the beginning of the end for the Lannisters because it showed everyone that all bets are off with them. You can’t rely on them to follow basic human laws and they look at everything as fair game, so you’re much better off striking first and hitting them as hard as you can regardless of whatever they say or do before that. When you think about that in relation to even their mortal enemies like the Martells, even if they wanted nothing more than to destroy them they still would never do something that was considered an affront to the gods in order to win. I’m sure any politically savvy person can suss out the fact that there is a good chance that Jeyne Westerling was a setup for Robb, but there’s a difference between political machinations to weaken his position (which is shady but still acceptable) versus political machinations to basically excuse breaking the most sacred social contract of the land and slaughter thousands.

However, Jeyne seems to be an innocent party in this, and while she’s not physically more beautiful than Cersei, I think the series repeatedly demonstrates that while being a decent person can literally get you killed, it tends to reap much better long term rewards for whatever legacy you leave behind and it tends to come back and bite whoever took advantage of that decency. Jeyne isn’t massively important in the grand scheme of things but she does serve as an obvious foil to Cersei in the sense that she’s kind of commonly pretty but she’s actually a good person. She was unknowingly being used by her family to further their political position but she wound up marrying someone who actually treated her with decency and respect, while Cersei knew she was being used and was actually a burgeoning political player in her own right, but married someone who hated her and didn’t treat her well at all. Cersei constantly uses sex to get what she wants, and Jeyne’s sexuality was used without her knowledge to further the Lannister agenda. She doesn’t know Jeyne, but she has a lot of hate and animosity towards all women who are actually treated well or cared for by their husbands, so I think that foil rivalry works well in that sense too.

Cersei doesn’t know or care about Jeyne because in her mind (and honestly in the eyes of many readers) Jeyne is just a pawn, but she IS a queen. Actually at the time where the downfall of Cersei and House Lannister begins, Jeyne is the only other person who hold the title of queen who’s character has a serious impact on said downfall. Dany is already queen and there are people like Selyse who hold the title, but their existence, what happens to them, and what they do has very little impact on Cersei. However, there’s a pretty perfect irony to the YMBQ being Jeyne, because Jeyne is only a queen because the Lannisters made her so. I think there’s obviously a lot of narrative impact in the YMBQ being Sansa, but when you compare Jeyne to other characters that people constantly speculating are the YMBQ like Arianne or Dany, there’s not as much of a narrative relationship between those characters and Cersei as their is between Jeyne and Cersei. In terms of actually weakening Cersei’s position as a queen, no other queen character has had more direct impact than Jeyne, and there’s a certain GRRM-ishness to that as well because she’s A. not someone that Cersei would ever expect and is B. someone that Cersei and everyone else regards as an irrelevant pawn.

But that fits thematically with a lot of the comeuppance that characters get as well, they take certain actions that have horrible unintended consequences, and the entire plot to marry Jeyne to Robb and use her to destroy him seems like a very obvious instance of that. Jeyne may not be the one acting out against those who have wronged her, but she seems to mirror Sansa in that way to me, basically that using and abusing someone who is innocent and seems like easy prey might be satisfying and get you what you want in the short term, but in the end it’s going to hurt you badly, and to be honest I can’t think of any past, current, or future queen who has yet had as much negative impact on the trajectory of Cersei’s life and family than the first Queen in the North.

#Anonymous #jeyne westerling #asoiaf meta #asoiaf

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loki-hargreeves · 5 years ago

Text

Loki x Reader - Bad At Love (drabble/prompt)

@brokenthelovely said: Ohh! I love your song prompt idea. Can I get 32 with Loki pretty please?

Here you go, love! I hope you like it. It turned out different than planned, but I just went with the vibe I got from the song :)

-*-,-*- SONG PROMPT LIST -*-,-*-

Warnings: alcohol, vulgar language, mentions of cheating, fighting, angst, alcohol Word Count: 3,8K Summary: Based on Halsey’s song ‘Bad at Love’. You are upset for yet another failed romance and begin to think you’re bad at love. The truth is, you only love one man who you don’t believe you could ever have. In an attempt to cheer you up, Loki agrees to accompany you on a night out. All is well until your ex shows up and blames Loki for the doom of your relationship.

Loki didn’t think he’d make friends on Midgard, let alone a close friend, one he learned to truly care about. His time on the planet was not supposed to be this pleasant. Asgard was gone, destroyed and now the people lived somewhere in Norway. Loki, on the other hand, was busy assisting what was left of the Avengers after the final battle against Thanos. It was in New York that he met Y/N, a young but powerful Avenger.

And she was very enchanting too.

It was quite a typical day so far. Loki had slept poorly yet he decided to get up early. At around 5 in the morning, he had walked to the kitchen to brew coffee, a drink he quickly got addicted to. There she was, sitting on a stool by the kitchen island with her face in her hands. Loki assumed she hadn’t slept well either.

“You don’t seem so bright this morning,” Loki made a rather innocent comment, without any intentions of setting her off.

Y/N groaned and slowly raised her gaze from the marble counter, looking Loki right in the eye. “And water is wet,” She just muttered.

Loki didn’t think much of it. She said a lot of things no one would ever say on Asgard. He had learned to understand most of it by now. He had just stated the obvious. “What kept you up?”

He sat down next to her with two cups of steaming hot coffee, one for him and one for her. She accepted it with a small smile before she took a careful sip. “It’s nothing, really,” She tried to brush it off. “Just a bad date, but it’s irrelevant now.”

Loki wasn’t a fool. He knew something was going on, but he didn’t want to push her buttons. So for now, he let go of it and they continued on with their days, just like they had for months on end. Besides, he didn’t like to think about her dates. It was a constant reminder that he should stop caring for her the way he did.

By the time evening came, Loki was done with his daily tasks and he wanted to see the only person in the compound who he could tolerate for longer than a quarter. He decided to check her room. Usually, if she wasn’t there by now, she was either working on a mission or she was at her own apartment further in the heart of the city. Just as Loki walked past her door, she walked out with her coat and scarf on. They nearly bumped into each other, but Loki stopped that collision by gently grabbing her by her shoulders to stop her.

“Heading out?” Loki raised his eyebrow curiously. He tried not to seem too curious or interested. It would just be awkward.

She didn’t seem happy as she smiled. “Yeah, my boyfriend called. I-I should hurry, I’m sorry, Loki!” Y/N excused herself and nearly ran towards the end of the corridor.

Boyfriend?

Loki felt confused as he watched her go. He didn’t know she had a boyfriend, which was odd because they had been very close recently. The late-night talks in his room or on the roof, the movie nights she insisted they’d have because according to her, Loki had to learn something about Midgardian culture. Suddenly, his heart felt a pinch.

Of course, she had a boyfriend.

Sure, it was disappointing, but Loki told himself it was for the better. Now that he stood there, he couldn’t understand how his heart had even tried to grow its roots on Y/N, someone from a completely different realm than him.

A day passed, and another and a third and Loki had still not heard of Y/N. No matter how many times he told himself to stop caring, he couldn’t. He worried something was wrong because she didn’t show up to meetings. By the time the third evening arrived and Loki hadn’t heard anything, he decided to step out of his comfort zone and talk to the other Avengers about Y/N.

As if they didn’t suspect he had feelings for her already. No matter how well he tried to conceal it, it was hard when he only truly trusted her.

Sam and Bucky were in the living room, relaxing after a workout with a game Loki never learned to like. They were just pushing buttons and yelling at the screen, but it seemed like they enjoyed it. As Loki stepped into the room, they paused the game and eyed the Trickster, expecting him to speak first.

Loki sighed and put on a careless act, “Have you seen Y/N?”

Both of the Avengers smirked suddenly and exchanged looks. “Why?” Sam wanted to know.

Resisting the urge to roll his eyes was hard for Loki. “She hasn’t shown up for meetings in three days after she went out to see her boyfriend,” he explained calmly. The last thing he wanted was for those two oafs, just as big as his brother, to think he fancied the girl.

Instead of laughing or teasing the god, they too seemed worried, shocked even. “Boyfriend?” they said in unison and a part of Loki felt relieved that he wasn’t the only one who didn’t know. But his worry also grew because it meant they had no clue where she was. The aura in the room turned cold. Y/N was special, for sure, but everyone liked her. It was common for the team members to disappear for a few days, but Y/N always reported her absence.

“If anyone knows about her boyfriend, it’s Wanda,” Bucky sighed after a while. The winter soldier didn’t necessarily like the idea of Y/N and Loki together, but he could’ve sworn he’d see it coming. Hearing about her secret boyfriend was just odd.

“Yeah,” Sam agreed.

Before anyone could worry further, the elevator dinged in the hallway and someone walked in. All three heads turned to see who it was and speak of the devil! Y/N walked in and rushed towards her room, completely ignoring everyone else. Something was definitely off...

“You should talk to her,” Sam encouraged Loki. It was no secret that Loki and Y/N were close, everyone knew that. Everyone also thought they had something going on, but apparently, things weren’t as clear as they seemed.

Without a doubt, Loki agreed and decided to follow her. When he walked towards her room, he felt bad. Loki tended to know when things weren’t good and right now he had that rotten feeling deep in his guts. He reached her room and he knocked on the door, making his presence clear.

“Who is it?” She groaned, seemingly annoyed.

“May I come in?” Loki asked and assumed she’d recognize him by his voice.

Silence.

He heard a few light footsteps and suddenly she opened the door. Y/N stepped back to let him in and Loki entered the dark room, never taking his eyes off the woman he called his friend. He hated to admit it, but whenever he saw her, his heart beat a little faster. This time her hair was in a messy ponytail, her face was makeup-less yet still beautiful and she was dressed in large, baggy clothes.

Had she been crying?

Once the door closed, Y/N looked like she wanted to rant, to yell or even punch something. Yet at the same time, she seemed sad, like her feelings were bottled up and threatening to spill.

“What’s going on, Y/N?” Loki wanted to know. He wasn’t too familiar with Midgardian dating traditions, but he doubted it was normal for a woman to return from her boyfriend in such a stressed state.

“The same old shit, honestly. It’s so old by now, but it keeps happening!” Y/N complained. She was tired of something, just like in the morning Loki saw her in the kitchen.

It didn’t appear like she was uncomfortable by Loki’s presence so Loki felt welcome to sit down on the edge of her bed, making it sink slightly beneath him. “Are you talking about your er....boyfriend?” Loki hated that word. It made his tongue twirl in disgust, but he said it anyway. Her body stiffened like snow in harsh and cold winter nights. Loki took that as a yes since she didn’t say anything to deny it. It seemed like she didn’t know how to answer or perhaps she didn’t want to. She was biting her tongue because she knew if she opened her mouth, she’d say things she shouldn’t. By now, it was obvious that something had happened that hurt her. If Loki found out someone had hurt her, he was going to pay the ‘boyfriend’ a visit. “Did he hurt you?” Loki asked bluntly. He was the god of mischief, god of lies. For him, it was easy to figure out things and put the pieces together. All signs pointed to her boyfriend being the reason for her distress.

“Not physically, but yeah, being called the worst things imaginable and all that hurts. I dumped him,” She scoffed, trying to laugh although clearly, it bothered her. “I’m so sick of this, honestly! All of my relationships end up turning into a nightmare, Loki! They either cheat on me or try to use me because I’m this stupid hero, or so they think. I hate this! I just want to be me, not who they think I am. Why am I so bad at love?”

Listening to her pained words made Loki both angry and hurt. He didn’t understand how anyone could inflict pain upon her. Loki was sure that if he ever stood a chance, he would treat her like a queen. He was angry that some people only saw her status and oddly, he understood how that felt. “You’re not bad at love, Y/N. You’ve just met the wrong people,” Loki explained rather kindly and even offered her a small yet sweet smile. The curve of his rosy lips was sincere, it was comforting, she liked it a little bit too much.

She sat on her bed and now she couldn’t take her eyes off Loki. Did he know that the reason she even gave those assholes a chance was because she so desperately wanted to drown her growing love for him? “I just- this sounds so silly, I just wanted a simple relationship. It’s been forever since someone held me or just loved me. I know I should be strong and all that, but I have feelings too.”

What Y/N wanted to say was that she wanted him to hold her, she wanted him to love her.

“That time will come, I’m sure,” Loki tried to comfort her with words.

“Maybe the next time it won’t hurt as much,” she just responded melancholily. Loki didn’t want to pry, but it seemed like the breakup had been ugly. He knew she’d tell him eventually when she was ready.

“Let’s go out,” Y/N suddenly suggested, completely out of the blue. There was a reckless tang to her suggestion, so contrary to the tone she had a moment ago. “Please, let’s just...I don’t know, grab a drink, have fun! I don’t want to loathe in self-pity here.”

Oh, if only she knew how much Loki liked the sound of that.

Just like that, the two made up their minds. Sure, going out to a Midgardian club wasn’t exactly Loki’s cup of tea, but he didn’t mind trying new things with her. Loki was dressed in a simple all-black suit with polished shoes and his hair was brushed back neatly. It seemed appropriate for him. Loki waited in the corridor, leaned against the wall as Y/N got ready. By now, Sam and Bucky had abandoned the living room. The compound was quiet although it was only 11PM.

Finally, Y/N was ready. Loki could tell when he heard her heels click against the hardwood floor. The Trickster tilted his head to see her and what he saw nearly made his jaw drop. He knew she was beautiful - inside and out - but when she walked down the corridor in a skintight, emerald green dress, black heels and golden jewellery, Loki was sure he saw a goddess.

Y/N tried to stay as confident as she could. Perhaps Loki noticed, maybe he didn’t, but she chose to wear his colours on purpose. It was a small gesture, but she hoped it was a signal for him. Subtle, but at the same time so obvious. Their eyes met and both smiled, excited to get out for a night. Before Loki could compliment her, someone else opened their mouth, “Woah woah woah, where are you going looking like that, young lady?” It was Bucky. Loki knew that Bucky and Y/N had a very close bond, they were nearly like family, honestly.

“None of your business, and second of all, you talk like a grandpa,” Y/N giggled and playfully hit Bucky’s shoulder. The soldier didn’t even budge.

“I mean, I am over 90 years old.”. That’s when Bucky looked at Loki and his smile stiffened for a moment. A while ago, he thought Y/N had a boyfriend and now she was going out with Loki. He definitely had a lot of catching up to do with her. “Just be careful,” He nodded and went in to ruffle her hair, which she quickly dodged.

“You’re a pain in the ass, James!” Y/N joked with such a sweet voice that even a toddler would’ve caught her joking tone. “Let’s go, okay?” Y/N grabbed Loki by the arm that he had offered and almost dragged him into the elevator.

Someone was excited to get some fresh air.

In the elevator, Loki finally let his shoulders sink. He was happy to go out with her, but something still told him something wasn’t quite right. Unfortunately, he couldn’t brush that feeling away so he let it settle in the back of his mind. “You look stunning, I hope you know that.”

At last, they reached the club. In Loki’s eyes, it was just a cramped, dim place with a bunch of horny and drunk people and obnoxious music. Yet when Y/N was the one who took him there, it was alright. Although Midgardian drinks weren’t nearly as strong as on Asgard, they weren’t necessarily bad.

They had barely made it through their first drinks and shots when a song caught Y/N’s attention. “I love this song!” She exclaimed happily and leaned against the booth seat more relaxed. Loki, who sat next to her, tried to focus on the song over the noise around them. He managed to hear a bit of the lyrics,

“...I believe ... that we're meant to be But ... jealousy get the best of me Look, I don't mean to frustrate, but I Always make the same mistakes ...”

Maybe she didn’t even notice it herself, but Loki did. She was humming along with the song which was adorable. He could already tell that she needed to get out for a bit. It was good for her and for him too, which he didn’t like to admit.

At that moment, Loki just knew that he had fallen for her and there was little he could do about it.

Time passed fast as they sipped on their same overly sweet drinks, talked and even joked about going on the dancefloor. Y/N seemed eager, but Loki was more hesitant. “I assure you, if I was under the influence, I’d be more flexible, but it seems..sweaty,” he let her know.

“I get it, you can’t dance!” Y/N teased him as she stood up. “I’m going to find the loo, I’ll be right back and maybe I’ll show you that it’s not so bad,” she excused herself and Loki simply nodded, deciding he’d just wait for her in the booth. As he sat there by himself, he felt that nasty feeling in his gut again, pulling his insides and making him uncomfortable. Loki scanned the place and then he saw it, a man sat a few booths away and he was staring at him. The cold, hateful look in his eyes made Loki’s skin go cold. Even when Loki caught him, the man didn’t look away.

What in the world?

As the man got up and walked towards Loki almost aggressively, he took a deep breath. What was it now? Another angry civilian or just an idiot who had to pick up a fight?

“You!” The unknown man growled and slammed his fist on the table. Loki didn’t even flinch. He gave him a cold glare and stayed calm. Loki was annoyed that some irrelevant fool was there to bother him. Did he even know who Loki was?

“I’m flattered you recognize me, but I have not the slightest clue of who you are. Mind clearing it up for me, would you?” Loki decided to strike him with honesty. The man looked like he needed attention and he wasn’t going to get it, at least not in the way he had hoped. Loki didn’t really want to fight, but there was already a crowd and he wasn’t going to walk out as a sorry loser.

“I’m sure you’re real proud of yourself, dude. Must feel good to be the reason why that fucking bitch left me!” He declared loudly, making heads turn although the music was loud.

That bitch?

Had he followed her?!

Loki felt his blood boil when he realized who that was. He couldn’t believe Y/N had settled for such a pretentious and disrespectful oaf like that. Loki stood up abruptly, never breaking eye contact with the man. “If I were you, I would not go around bashing her name like that. It’s unwise of you,” Loki gave him his one and only warning.

It appeared Y/N’s ex didn’t like Loki’s attitude any more than Loki liked his. “You fucking asshole!” He spat and leapt at Loki, aiming his fist at the god’s jaw.

Idiots never learn.

Loki grabbed the man’s wrist mid-punch and twisted his arm, making him yell out in pain. As Loki had a hold of him, he pushed him down against the dirty table and put the man’s arm behind his back. One simple movement could break his arm, which Loki would’ve loved to do. “Listen to me, you pathetic excuse of a man,” Loki growled harshly, probably making the man’s legs shake by now. “You don’t ever, and I mean it, ever try to talk to her ever again. If I see you near her, I will make you wish you were never born, do you understand? And never, ever disrespect her again. It’ll be your greatest mistake.”

He tried to wiggle free, but Loki only added pressure on his arm, earning a cry of pain from him. He mixed in some magic, turning his palm ice cold so his grip stung just a little bit more. It didn’t leave damage, but Loki knew it hurt a lot. “Fine! Fine, just..let me go, you’re crazy!”

Nothing Loki hadn’t heard a thousand times before.

He did as told and let go of him. The second Loki stepped back, the man had the audacity to attack him for the second time. Was he really so dumb? He really went for it, jumping towards Loki, ready to tackle him to the ground. With one smooth step, Loki simply stepped aside and watched as he stumbled on the floor awkwardly. Now the crowd he had gathered laughed at him.

As Loki turned around, he saw Y/N standing there. By the look on her face, she had seen what had happened. For a split second, Loki feared he had done something wrong until she smiled. As her ex tried to get up from the floor, Y/N pressed the heel of her shoe on his head gently, but it sent shivers down his spine and he didn’t dare move.

Seeing her like that was hot, much hotter than Loki thought it would be. By keeping that scumbag down on the dirty floor, she looked powerful, sexy. God, that was definitely a sight he wouldn’t forget.

“You heard him, didn’t you?”

“Yes! I-I heard..take your foot off my face you crazy-”

“Ah, ah, ah-” Y/N didn’t let him finish that sentence. She added a little bit of pressure just to scare him and it worked, making him shut up. “Now gather your stuff and get lost. I don’t ever want to see you again,” Y/N expressed her wishes very clearly. Eventually, she let him get up and it seemed the message got delivered. Loki, Y/N and the crowd watched as the man ran off, either pissed or scared - or both. Once he was finally out of the picture, Loki dared to say something.

“Wow, where has that side of you been all this time?” Loki questioned her.

That dominating almost scary Y/N was gone and now she was back to her sweet, old self. “I have no idea, but that felt amazing. Why haven’t I done that sooner?” She wondered excitedly.

“Better late than never, don’t you think?”

Loki and Y/N fell quiet for a while. It’s like what Loki said struck Y/N’s mind deeper than it was intended to. The confidence boost from whatever it was that just happened made her certain that she wanted him. It’s like an electric force was between them, pulling them closer. Y/N took a couple steps towards Loki and shamelessly cupped his face. “You’re damn right,” she whispered and closed her lips on his.

The kiss came out of the blue yet it was a long time coming. Everything fell into place as their lips moulded together, eliciting fireworks inside their hearts. Loki put his hand on her jawline, resting his fingers at the back of her head as he pulled her closer, deepening the kiss. Y/N didn’t mind as Loki pushed his tongue through her soft lips, exploring her mouth. In fact, she couldn’t hold back a moan as the sweet kiss quickly turned fiery.

Did she have any idea what she was doing to Loki?

She pulled back and laughed happily, now resting her forehead against Loki’s shoulder. “I can’t believe we just did that.”

Loki didn’t sense any regret in her voice, which was such a relief to hear. “It seems tonight is full of surprises.”

They faced each other again. Although they were nervous about making their feelings known, they were happy. The kiss was just the first of many. “I’ve wanted to do that for so long,” Y/N admitted to him.

Loki didn’t even have to say it to let her know he had wanted to kiss her too. Her lips were so alluring and now that he had had a taste, he was hooked. “Why did you wait?”

“Are you kidding? You know how bad I am when it comes to...well, love, I guess,” She answered him while still holding onto him. Neither of them wanted to let go.

Love.

Loki felt like the luckiest man in the nine realms. She didn’t say it directly, but she implied she had romantic feelings for him.

She was so wonderful, but she didn’t know that. Loki knew she had been treated wrong by so many and he swore not to repeat their mistakes when it came to her. He bent down and pecked her lips, needing to feel hers on his again. As their foreheads rested together, Loki spoke, “How about we go somewhere more private? I think I can change your mind about that,” Loki suggested. He wanted to take her out of that club and show her how much he wanted her, how much he wanted to make her feel loved.

And she enjoyed that suggestion. She slid her fingers between his and gave his hand a squeeze. “We’ll see about that, Loki.”

So a challenge it was,

Loki was happy to take it.

Author’s Note: Ending one-shots is hard, gosh. Thank you for reading, though! I would love to hear your feedback <3

#Loki #Loki imagine #Loki x Reader #Loki x Y/N #Loki x You #Loki Odinson #loki laufeyson #loki fanfiction #Tom Hiddleston Loki #Marvel fanfiction

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jasntodds · 5 years ago

Text

Teddy Grahams & Coffee [t.h]

Pairing: Uni!Tom Holland x Reader

Warnings: Fluff, a little bit of awkwardness I guess, more fluff (I know, surprise)

Words: 4,660

Summary: You’re somewhere between friends and more than friends, how some coffee, some snacks, and a lake changes everything

A/N: Bold italics are thoughts!! I was in a mood to write a one-shot and I got an ask about the in between stage of friends and more than friends so here we are. And thank you for all of your kind words about my writing. I love y’all so much!! And @keepingupwiththeparkers has me feeling some type of way about uni!Tom. Lemme know what you think!!

Masterlist

The library is quiet, unsurprising with the Friday night, most students either attending a party or catching up on lost sleep from the week. It’s actually why you like coming to the library on Fridays after you’ve attended your classes. Quiet, not super crowded. Overall, it’s a pleasant environment. So, you’ve got your earbuds in, the music quiet while a book is open in front of you and your laptop open to the side for you to type out any notes. The comfort of your study session is almost relaxing and there’s only one thing, person, that could make it better.

Tom.

Walking in through the library with a navy blue backpack and two coffees in hand is Tom. He’s wearing the usual black t-shirt with jeans that are a little too low, his Calvin’s would definitely show if he lifted his arms even the slightest bit. A snapback hat is backwards, hiding the mess of curls from the long day of classes. A chord to his earbuds stick out from the collar of his shirt, one earbud still in his ear and when he sees you staring, he gives you a quick smile, one that makes your heart skip.

Here we go.

Tom takes a seat opposite you and slides you your coffee, your usual, something he definitely knows off the top of his head now. You thank him quietly, taking a sip of your beverage. Tom leans down and opens his backpack, grabbing a book and a notebook followed by a metallic red bag of unopened Teddy Grahams. The bag of snacks is put right in between the two of you for easy access and it always floods your chest with warmth at the offer.

“How’s studying?” He asks, opening his textbook and flipping through pages.

“Boring.” You huff with a smile as you reach for a few Teddy Grahams.

“Better now that I’m here?” Tom asks flashing you a cheesy grin.

“Yeah, you brought coffee and snacks.” You tease and heat creeps up the back of your neck as you bite your lip.

“Mm,” Tom hums, leaning over to grab a few Teddy Grahams. “That all I am? Coffee and snack provider?”

“You said it, not me.” You quip and Tom gasps maybe a little too loud, hitting his chest over his heart.

“I’m hurt.”

“Yeah, you hit yourself pretty hard.”

Tom’s nose scrunches and his eyes start to crinkle, his head tilting back as he tries not to laugh too loud and disturb the few students around. “Probably gonna bruise.”

You match his laugh, covering your mouth with your hand. “Tom.” Your eyes widen with his name, Tom’s heart skipping a beat and his cheeks tinting a rosy pink.

“Y/n.” Tom mocks.

“Study.” Your voice is showing mock-sarcasm as you shake your head.

“Alright, alright.” Tom puts his hands up, a pretty smile not moving.

Tom looks down to his book and finds the page he was originally looking for, opening his notebook right after. Your eyes look over to see the words that are barely legible and roll your eyes, a grin coming to your lips. Tom can feel you staring so his eyes meet yours and he sends you a quick wink followed by the scrunch of his nose. Heat rises to your cheeks as you shake your head and go back to your own studying.

He’s so cute.

You met Tom a few months ago at a party. The intentions of the night were not to end up spending most of the night splitting a bag of Teddy Grahams and talking to a random boy with chestnut hair and chocolate eyes but that’s exactly what happened.

Your friend had gone off with someone and Tom’s friends were all busy either with girls or one of the few drinking games that happened to be going on. It’s how you two ended up being the two people alone in a kitchen surrounding by pairs and trios.

It was a little awkward, you standing with a red cup in hand, barely taking drinks and Tom on the other side, every now and then you’d make eyes contact. How could you not? He’s gorgeous. But, it was a little awkward randomly making eye contact with a stranger from across the kitchen. Luckily though, Tom had gotten up the courage to finally approach you and introduce himself.

He was sweet and kind with his airy words but his cheeks were that blushed tint and his eyes sparked under the dim lights of the kitchen. He ran his hand through his hair and spoke with his hands, shifting his weight from one foot to the other.

Nervous.

He was nervous and he was never nervous around anyone but then there’s you with pretty eyes and a gorgeous smile. But that didn’t stop him talking and eventually, you two got tired of being bumped into and interrupted so Tom offered to go outside with you. He said he had snacks in his car which, for some reason, happened to be a selling point for you.

Maybe you were just hungry and bored of the party, or definitely, you just wanted to keep talking to the boy with pretty eyes and a nice jawline.

The fall was turning into winter so the air was crisp when you had exited the crowded and heated house, walking to Tom’s car. You shivered and without even thinking, he offered you a coat he had in the back of his car. You’d taken it shyly and it smelled of fresh cologne but had a boyish scent you couldn’t pinpoint as anything in particular, turns out, it’s just Tom.

He’d grabbed a bag of Teddy Grahams from his car and the two of you sat on the hood of his car with the music from the house echoing in the background, just talking for hours. The two of you ended up so enthralled in getting to know each other, you went through two bags of Teddy Grahams, the cold became irrelevant, and the party started to die down. It was then Tom offered you a ride back to your dorm.

When you got back to your dorm, you swapped numbers and you asked if he wanted to get coffee the following day, continue to get to know each other. And that was the start of the routine of sharing the snacks with a coffee.

Now, an hour’s passed and Tom looks up to you. His eyes soften as he sees you concentrating on working between your book and your laptop, your only focus on your studies. Every part of him just turns soft and he can’t really peel his eyes off of you as you tuck a strand of hair behind your ear.

Truth be told, he’s been into you since the night of the party but it’s college and neither of you really explicitly stated if you really liked each other even though it’s obvious. And neither of you really ever said if you wanted to be dating. You said you were both single but that was pretty much as far as the conversation ever went. The two of you have hung out and you’ve held hands, had a few movie nights that definitely ended in you falling asleep on his chest or shoulder once or twice, and you’ve definitely attended a party or two together. But you're totally not actually dating. But you’re more than friends. Complicated but neither of you complains. You just look up and Tom immediately looks back down, blushing furiously while you smile to yourself.

Tom lightly kicks your shin from under the table, not enough to inflict pain, just enough to get your attention. When you look up to him, he’s got a cornered smirk and his eyes are glued to his notebook while his pen glides across the paper. Your eyes narrow before you do the same gesture, not hard to inflict pain, just enough to grab his attention.

“What?” Tom asks innocently, big brown eyes looking to you with brows pinched together and a soft pout coming to his lips.

“You kicked me.” You let out a mixture of a huff and a laugh.

“No, I've been studying, see.” Tom says, twisting the notebook around so you can see the sorry excuse for handwriting in blue ink.

“You kicked me, Thomas.” You say again and Tom laughs.

“Why would I do that,” Tom keeps up the innocent act. “Y/n?”

Your eyes go wide while your cheeks start to ache from smiling, Tom nudging your leg with his again from under the table. His laugh is quiet, muffled by his hand before you grab a Tedd Graham and toss it at him, hitting him in the throat. Tom coughs and it’s your turn to laugh now, Tom fumbling for the small snack and finding it on his lap before tossing it into his mouth.

“Wasn’t nice of you. Could at least aim for my mouth next time.” Tom quips.

“Your mouth was covered, smartass.” You reach over and toss another one at him, hitting his nose before he catches it with his hand.

“You're not very good at this.” Tom remarks, shrugging his shoulders and the two of you go to reach for a Teddy Graham at the same time, fingers brushing together and suddenly his cheeks are bright red and you feel the heat creeping up to yours.

“Sorry.” Tom mutters through his blush, letting you have the bag.

“It’s okay.” You bite your lip and grab a Teddy Graham. “Ready?”

Tom grins and leans back a little. “Go.”

You toss the mini snack and Tom catches it in his mouth this time. His eyes shoot open and his arms fly into the air, eliciting a laugh from you that’s way too loud to be in a library. Tom's nose scrunches again as he tries to hold back his laughter and he just watches as you slap your hand over your mouth after gaining a few glares and “sh”’s from the nearby students.

You’re incredible.

You turn around and apologize the students behind you and Tom does the same to the ones on the other side before the two of you look back at each other. You stick your tongue out at him and get Tom to stifle a laugh before he shakes his head, the stubborn stray curl falling in front of his forehead.

The two of you get back studying over the next two hours. And every now and again, there are a few stolen glances with heated cheeks and bitten lips to conceal smiles. His eyes are always soft when he looks at you as you work, admiring you and just being happy this is how he spends his Friday nights. With you, some Teddy Grahams, and some coffee. Others might want to be at parties or catching up on sleep and yeah, Tom would like either of those two things, too but they don’t beat hanging out with you. They don’t even come close, not the same playing field.

“Hey,” Tom taps your hand with a pen, you looking up to him with raised brows and a hum. “Uh, you ‘bout ready? Getting kind of late.” Tom shrugs, giving you a nervous smile that tells you he’s probably just tired of studying but he doesn’t wanna leave without you.

You look at the time and see it’s just after eleven. “Yeah, I could shower and sleep.” You sigh, closing your laptop.

The two of you work on packing up all of your things, Tom grabbing the empty bag and empty coffee cups to toss in the trash before coming back to your table. By the time he gets back, you’ve got a light jacket on and your backpack hanging off of one shoulder as you push in your chair.

Tom slings his own backpack over his shoulder and meets you at the end of the table before the two of you head out but as you start walking, Tom reaches over to you and takes your backpack from you. He smiles shyly, shugging it on the same shoulder as his backpack and you bump him lightly before cautiously and carefully reaching between the two of you and brushing your hand against his.

It’s like a bomb of butterflies explodes through Tom’s stomach with the brush of your hand as he looks between the two of you. He reaches for your fingers and interlocks them, connecting your hands with the same caution you used. When he feels your chilled fingers wrapped around the front of his hand, he lets out a shallow breath and smiles to himself and then at you.

The walk is quiet besides your footsteps a few crickets in the background allowing for a nice walk. Tom’s thumb rubs over the back of your hand and you have to smile, it’s like a reflex now. He does anything and it makes you smile ear-to-ear and your stomach twists and turns with butterflies. There’s just something about him that pulls you in.

“Hey…” Tom starts running a hand through his hair as you two reach just outside your dorm building. “A-are you busy tomorrow?” He asks, biting his bottom lip and his brows lift with hope.

You look to your shoes and back to him, tucking a strand of hair behind your ear as best as you can. “No, I was probably going to read, catch on shows. Maybe. Why?” You ask and there’s hope rising in your chest too.

“Well,” He rubs the back of his neck. “A few of my friends are goin’ to the lake and I was wondering, if you wanted, maybe you’d go, too?” Tom asks and normally his words flow like a slow current of a river but right now, his words are like raging rapids. Uneasy and nervous.

Say yes, please. Please, say yes.

“Um..” You start but Tom cuts you off.

“You can--” Tom sucks in a breath, realizing his sentence was going to come out too fast. ”You can bring a friend...if you want.” Tom offers, hoping that if you could bring a friend, maybe you’d feel more comfortable to be around him and his friends. You haven’t really hung out with Tom and his friends before, not a group anyway. You’ve met most of them but not in anything bigger than a group of three.

“Will Harrison be there?” You ask.

Tom nods, and his heart sinks a little. “Yeah, yeah he will be.”

“I’ll bring my roommate if she isn’t busy.” You give Tom a smile and suddenly, his heart is in his throat and are you saying you’re going to come? “She thinks he’s cute.”

“So, you’ll go?” Tom asks and his eyes are brighter than the moon above you with the question.

You nod quickly. “Yeah, sounds fun.” You chew your bottom lip and Tom looks like he’s going to shoot out of his skin.

“Cool, awesome. Yeah.” Tom says quickly, making you giggle. “I’ll see you tomorrow then, I’ll text you the time.” Tom rushes, before he starts to walk away, completely ecstatic you said you’d go.

“Tom?” You stand there, pointing to him.

“Yeah?”

“You have my backpack.”

“Oh!” Tom says, quickly coming back and returning your backpack to you. “Sorry.”

“It’s okay.” You lean up to him and kiss his cheek before turning to the door, tugging it open. “Don’t forget to text me the time.”

Tom’s eyes are wide and the spot where you kissed him is warm, his cheeks about as red as a fire engine and his stomach is swarming while he’s completely giddy with excitement.

“Okay.” Tom says, trying to keep his cool before you enter the building.

Once the door is shut, Tom starts to walk off, looking to the sky and he does a little twirl in the grass before it turns into a small few second dance with each step. He doesn’t know it, but you definitely saw it through the window, leaving you laughing to yourself and for some reason, it makes you like him even more than you already do, if that’s even possible.

Dork.

--------------------------------

The next day comes around the sun is already high in the sky, temperatures reaching well into the eighties with high humidity making it feel hotter than it actually was which only made it a better day to spend at the lake. So, Tom’s there with a group of his friends, all of them besides him and Harrison having someone on their hip, and he sets up a towel for himself and his things, a small cooler sitting at the edge.

Meanwhile, you’re on your way with your roommate who’s maybe just as eager to see Harrison as you are Tom. It’s a good thing the lake isn’t too far off campus so the drive is short and you’re there in no time.

Your roommate parks the car and the two of you walk across the small graveled lot and into the grass where most everyone has a towel set up for themselves and mini coolers besides them. Tom spots you immediately and his cheeks flush as he waves, mentally kicking himself for actually waving but you wave back and head over to him, your roommate wishing you luck and heading off to Harrison who’s with a couple.

“Hey.” You greet and take your towel from underneath your arm and set up beside Tom’s.

“Hey.” Tom smiles back, watching you and helping adjust your towel from where he’s sat. “Drive okay?”

“Yeah, yeah.” You nod, taking a seat beside him. “Mostly listened to music.”

“Cool.” Tom says and it falls silent between the two of you.

You both look out to the lake where a few of Tom’s friends were standing about knee deep, the guys trying to get the girls, presumably their girlfriends, to come into the water farther. Their laughter and teasing pleas echoed around the water and through the trees around the lake. Tom glances at you and he needs to say something, anything at all. He can usually find something to say but it’s just a little different right now. Everyone is kind of paired off as couples, besides Harrison and your roommate but that might change within a few hours anyway, and then there’s you two.

In between.

“Are you hungry?” Tom asks, breaking the silence as he leans forward for his cooler.

“Do you have Teddy Grahams again?” You ask, a teasing smile coming to your face while Tom opens the lid.

He pulls out the silver and red bag flashing you a cheesy grin. “Always.” He says smoothly, handing the bag to you before going back to the cooler. “I made sandwiches.” Tom’s smile turns more nervous than teasing. “You said this was your favorite.”

You blush, taking the sandwich wrapped in cling wrap from him, seeing that it is your favorite. “Thanks, Tom.”

Tom nods with a gentle smile while he reached for his own sandwich and follows it with two bottles of water, one for you and one for him. You take yours gratefully and the two of you start on your lunch.

You didn’t really think he’d pack a lunch. You expected Teddy Grahams since it’s almost a joke between the two of you but he pays attention to the things you like. The table in the library, your specific seat at that table, the sandwich you almost always have for lunch when you eat together, your coffee order and where you get your coffee from. Tom pays attention more than you really thought he would and again, it’s just making you fall harder for him.

And the conversation between you starts to pick up. Tom mostly asks about your summers and you do the same, finding out Tom spent a lot of his summers doing everything and anything. Traveling, time spent on the soccer field, skateboarding on occasion, a lot of swimming, surfing if he happened to be vacationing somewhere that made it possible, nights spent with friends at lakes and in fields drinking. It’s been obvious he’s not a homebody exactly but he definitely does a lot more than you expected and if you could sit and listen to him talk about every story he has about his summers, you would. And he would do the exact same, him hanging onto every word of your previous summers.

By the time you’re both done eating, Tom’s friends and your roommate are egging the two of you to join them in the water. There’s a bit of hesitance but you both agree, but only after sunscreen is applied.

Tom offers to rub some onto your back, around the straps of your swimsuit once you’ve taken off your over your shirt. His hands are careful and gentle across your skin, making sure not to miss a spot and not overstep even though it’s just sunscreen.

“Think you’re good.” Tom says, leaning of your shoulder with a soft smile.

You turn your head to look at him and suddenly your faces are only a few centimeters away from the other and there’s that moment where you both aren’t breathing. Your breath is held and your hearts thunder like a midnight storm in your chests. Tom’s eyes look between yours and your lips and he’s so close to asking, leaning in and then you’re pulled away by yelling.

“Come on!” Harrison yells. “Get on with it!” Harrison chortles, earning a light smack over his shoulder by your roommate.

You look back to Tom and he hangs his head with a soft laugh, trying to brush off the anxiety of him almost kissing you. “Ready?” He asks looking back to you.

“Sure.” You brush it off as well and Tom helps you to your feet, the both of you walking off to the water.

The water is cold but it doesn’t take long to get used to. And before you know it, there’s laughter with the entire group of people, you and your roommate merging right in as if you’d been friends with everyone the whole time. Eventually, it leads to a few games of chicken, you on top of Tom’s shoulders and your roommate on top of Harrison’s. You definitely won most of the rounds but the few that you didn’t win, you couldn’t very well complain.

You were first into the water, Tom right after you and he came up, shaking his hair, droplets of water falling down his muscular chest. The sight was very pretty and you had half a mind to keep losing to keep getting the sight but you figured maybe that’s a little mean. But it’s a nice thought.

Eventually, the sun starts to set and the day of lake fun comes to an end. Tom’s friends all pack up, one-by-one and soon enough, your roommate is asking if it’s okay if she takes Harrison back and you can ride with Tom. It’s an easy decision to which she quickly thanks you for and her and Harrison are off to her car, Harrison's arm draped around her shoulders.

“In the mood for coffee?” Tom chuckles as he nudges your shoulder with his, the two of you off to his car.

“I’m always in the mood for coffee, haven’t you figured that out yet?” You tease.

“Oh, my apologies, miss.” Tom dramatically moves both of his hands to his chest, fluttering his eyes at you.

“Shut up.” You roll your eyes but nudge him back, cheeks aching from smiling.

The two of you pile into Tom’s car, him resting your things and his in the back. He lets you choose the music to which you just choose one of Spotify’s “what’s popular” playlists and let the music fill the car.

Tom’s fingers tap to the music and every and now and then, he glances over at you while you’re looking out the window, watching the sun finally disappear. The lights going back to campus illuminate your face and it sends heat up Tom’s neck and to his cheeks, his stomach fluttering and all he wants to do is really ask you to go a real date with him. To be something more than just this in between. It’s great and he’s fine with it, but he wants a little more. He wants you if you’ll have him.

Tom swings by one of your favorite coffee shops and gets you both your usual before you head back to campus and instead of dropping you off at your dorm, you ask if he wants to walk. If you’re being honest, you just want to spend more time with him and it’s so nice outside, on a Saturday night. There’s no harm in asking and Tom nearly completely jumps at the opportunity wanting to spend more time with you, too. So, Tom drives to the parking lot he uses and the two of you grab your things and make the walk to your dorm, your fingers interlocking with his just as they did the night prior.

Unfortunately, the walk back to your dorm seemed to be much quicker than usual. Maybe it was the constant conversation the two of you maintained and the laughter, Tom teasing you and nudging you while you squeezed his hand. Or maybe it was the new found energy from the coffee in your hands. Or maybe it’s definitely that you don’t want to say goodnight.

“So,” Tom sucks in a breath, standing in front of you, your eyes spotting the light bit of sunburn on the bridge of his nose. “Was fun today.” Tom says.

“Yeah, I had fun.” You give him a wide smile. “We should do it….again?” You leave it as a question, making it his choice to finish it, hoping that he wants to.

“Yeah, for sure.” Tom nods quickly before looking to his shoes, nerves building in his body as he tries to build up the courage.

Ask. Just do it.

“Um,” Tom looks back up to you and you can see the nerves written in the creases of his forehead. “I really like you.” Tom’s words are breathy.

“I like you, too.” You respond and you want to completely combust. It was obvious you both liked each other but the verbal confirmation just relieves so much pressure from both your shoulders and his shoulders.

“You do?” Tom asks, his face softening and his brows raising.

“Yeah!” You giggle.

“Well,” Tom takes a step forward, sucking in a breath of courage. “I’ve wanted to kiss you for….” Tom trails off, his eyes looking to the side before they meet yours. “A long time, since we met, I think.” Tom lets a chuckle come from the back of his throat. “Could I kiss you?”

You don’t answer. Instead, you close the distance between the two of you and connect your lips to his. He tastes like a mixture of espresso and chocolate, lips warm but a little chapped but it’s more than what you had imagined. And Tom leans in closer to you, using the hand that doesn't contain his coffee to grip your hip and bring you flush against his body. It’s like a firework store completely explodes through Tom’s entire body with your lips finally against his and he needs to pull away, just for a second.

“Wow.” He whispers, his forehead resting against yours.

“I wanted...to do that, too.” You whisper back, biting your lip.

“Wanna go on a real date? Just me and you?” He asks, eyes so soft you could melt into them.

“I’d like that.” You nod against him before Tom presses his lips against yours once more, this time the kiss deeper and hungrier than the one before. And you both know this is the start of something incredible.

-----------------------------------------

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