#they got my heart they got my soul series
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@call-sign-shark Oh Shark I could just squish you!
I love their relationship too! Lucy in the main series really doesn't have a lot of close friends other than Tommy, so for her to have someone who she's so close with here makes me so emotional.
You absolutely get Lucy and it makes me so happy 🥹. She may be a very flawed character, but she's got a huge heart and is ultimately at her core is a caretaker. She just wants to do whatever she can to take care of and help the people she cares about. Even if it's at detriment to herself.
Heaven can join Tommy in the Obsessed With Lucy's Hair Color Club 🤭
I just know in my soul that Hev is the #1 Tommy x Lucy shipper 🥹. Her support of their relationship is so sweet, and I know that it means the world to Lucy especially since the rest of the family was a little wary of her for awhile at the beginning.
I like to think that Polly will tolerate Lucy and be cordial with her if it means she can spend time with Hev and Ada. And Lucy really wants to get her to eventually at least warm to her. Baby steps 😅.
Girls' Night
A/N: I got emotional over Heaven calling Lucy sister during her wedding celebration in King's Landing, so here's this little moodboard to showcase their friendship. Heaven and Amos belong to @call-sign-shark.
The tradition had begun when Heavenerys was still married to Amos. Eager to help Heaven momentarily escape the dour situation that she was trapped in, Lucy became determined in finding ways to help lift her friend's spirits.
Once a week in the evenings, Lucy would bar any men from entering the chambers--much to Amos's displeasure--and they would settle in under cozy furs next to a hearty fire, eating little cakes, drinking wine, and sharing gossip. Lucy would teach Heaven how to play her favorite card games, and Heaven would show her how to braid her hair in traditional Targaryen styles.
On occasion, Lucy's mother, Genevieve, would also join them.
Following Lucy's marriage to Heaven's cousin and brother-in-law, Thomaryon Targaryen, and her subsequent relocation to King's Landing, the pair resurrected the tradition. Pollyanna and Aedarya would also sometimes join them, and it soon became a longstanding custom amongst royal Targaryen women.
I'm sure that if any other OCs would like to join them, they would be happy to have them! 😄
Tagging: @justrainandcoffee @evita-shelby @cillmequick @novashelby @call-sign-shark
@shelbydelrey @wonderlanddreamer @peakyswritings @darklydeliciousdesires @lunarubra
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I'm so down bad for Maddox and Ashlyn that my three favourite scenes are:
3. The Redlyn breakup - the chillest break up, Red supporting Ashlyn going after Maddox and the most insane storyline of Red realising he's bi because he kisses Seb
2. Just the entirety of Maddox during opening night - having an existential breakdown over your love life that you break the sound controls and then just give up on your stage manager duties and disappear (probably to help quinn)
1. The confession - a scene I want on repeat: the explanations of how afraid they are of how much they like the other then the "should we just stay friends?" Before having such a love induced make out their just completely ignore Carlos being there. (Also Maddison giving up and telling Maddox to stop coming back to her when she clearly likes Ashlyn... my baby just needed that push)
I love all my queer children but these two are the wlw so I love them just slightly more.
#the hilarity of EJ seeing Maddox so focused on Ash that she forgot his question at the end of s3 that he immediately went and#CARVED THEIR NAMES INTO A TREE WITH HEART TO SHOW THEM WHEN THEY FINALLY GOT TOGETHER#i love them all#also i will not take arguments about the most crack storyline#Seb and Red kissing came out of no where and hit me like a metal chair#the french guy not actually being french and liking red felt right in my soul#granted i literally dont remember s2 and barely recognised him nevermind remember anything that happened between him and Ash#and jared(?) was just annoying#he showed up ruined madlyn first kiss admitted he liked carlos and then disappeared#its definitely a season i will rewatch at some point soon maybe as well as season 3#hsmtmts#high school musical#madlyn#maddox x ashlyn#ashlyn caswell#hsmtmts season 4#high school musical the musical the series#im sad its the end i wish i could have an entire season of just madlyn fluff#but im happy with two seasons of pinning and a brilliant confession
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The Album
The Single(s)
#The Album & The Singles Series#soul and r&b#soul#r&b#rnb#r&b/soul#1990s#90s#aaliyah#one in a million#if your girl only knew#got to give it up#4 page letter#the one i gave my heart to#hot like fire#timbaland#missy elliott#missy misdemeanor elliott#blackground
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Yass Gurl. Banish your sense of self so that you might be able to better adapt to an extremely hostile and ever changing environment. Slay Queen. Werk.
#arya stark#nymeria#asoiaf#asoiaf spoilers#a song of ice and fire#asoiaf fanart#got spoilers#cw blood#cw: gore#cw animal cruelty#cw animal abuse#your honor I just think that the little girls in this series should get to do unspeakable violence and get covered in blood more often#(me and jory threw rocks until she left) - my ass#do you know how much it takes to get a normal dog to stop following you? much less the literal physical embodiment of your soul?#give me the heart wrenching pov of arya watching nymeria crawl back to her again and again cause she’s a good well trained loyal girl
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Oh look! A busy Bea and her giant skeletal Flower :3c I wonder if they're single?
#I couldn't find the post so I'm makin a new one!!!#look at them!!!!! i love them#they own my heart and soul#the smoopsy sickly sweet middleaged couple#they're like a hallmark romcom got a gallon of blood from the neighboring action-thriller drama series got splattered on it#A Bee and It's Flower#my art#Bee#Bea#Flower#Horrorswapfell!Papyrus
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"Please."
Rowan kept approaching, the bearer of some inescapable doom. And she knew that she could not outrun it, and could not fall on her knees and beg for it to be undone.
Rowan stopped within reach but did not touch her, his features hardening again-not from cruelty. Because he knew, she realized that one of them would have to hold it together.
When I tell you my stomach DROPPED when Rowan turned around & proceeded to tell her about Endovier💔🖤😭🫥 with THAT FINAL LINE
#Heir of Fire#HoF#Rowan Whitethorn#Celaena Sardothien#Aelin Ashryver Galathynius#Elentiya#Endovier#Calaculla#spoiler alert#Sarah J. Maas#Sarah J. Maas quotes#TVD gif credit to og creator#Heir of Fire spoilers#first read#currently reading#reading reactions#break my heart#sobbing#TOG#Throne of Glass series#Maasverse#Throne of Glass#rowaelin#one of them would have to hold it together BREAK MY SOUL WHY DONT YOU#he gripped her arms as if he could stop her from falling into the abyss IM DEAD INSIDE#I’m getting tired even for a pheonix#she knows grief so well it broke my heart for her me & everyone who’s lost someone cause u know it’s that’s where I was when I got the call#the daughters of the fallen kingdoms
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🫢🤯🥹
This…this literally blew me away like…I have no words to express how beautiful this is…
I Want Something Just Like This
Collaboration with the lovely @tapakah0 thanks for working with me 。(TヮT)゚。
@somerandomdudelmao hope you feel better soon Cass ( -_-)\(0-0 )
Song: Something Just Like This by Coldplay and The Chainsmokers
#We've got our happy ending from the book#cass fanart tag#cas apocalyptic series#art this is flippin art because my soul has been touched#My mouth has dropped#this is art#the colors?!#The explosion of movement?#The expressions?!#Dear gosh the expressions#The little star?#CASEY IS THEIR LITTLE STAR BECAUSE THEY ALL WISHED FOR A BETTER LIFE BECAUSE OF HIM AND BEACUSE OF HIM THEY ALL GOT A SECOND CHANCE#CAUSE OF HIM THEY ALL GOT A SECOND CHANCE#THIS IS WHAT PAYING IT FORWARD LOOKS LIKE#This is hope#This is what family means to me#rottmnt leo#rottmnt raphael#rottmnt donnie#rottmnt#unpause rottmnt#unpause rise of tmnt#unpause rise of the tmnt#save rise of tmnt#save rise of the teenage mutant ninja turtles#save rise of the tmnt#save rottmnt#other people’s art#my heart#serendipity247
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i have found the dumbest fucking hotd post on this site at last
idk how many “incest DOES actually make targaryen marriages really uniquely abusive and terrible for everyone involved and people who ignore that are being willfully obtuse about the ways in which incest is a crime for a REASON and completely destroys people’s lives” i got left in me folks
#like i know i simply Know More Than You bc i get obsessive about stuff and i got briefly obsessed with csa in the 60s in the us and csa in#appalachia and those are almost always a father raping his kids so i simply have a more visceral emotional response#bc i have read the words of people who have been through normalized pedophilic incestuous environments#but bottom of my heart if u think the added layer of incest doesn’t add a level of abuse to this world that is worse than anything else and#soul crushing. it’s bc you are a dumb ass. like that’s it. you’re just an idiot.#yes i have my period.#rani makes text posts no one will read#i just feel. like there are a lot of people who Really don’t understand. what incest is outside of kink.#and just refuse to understand. and this is a series that loves to examine the worst a system can churn out.#it does that with misogyny violence marriage class war knighthood etc etc#it’s doing that for incest. it’s taking this thing that people cover up and shut up behind closet doors.#and making it integral to this family and society.#and the argument ‘but there ARE dragons they ARE magic’ explain nettles and addam.#i think this series is straight up asking ‘does actually being special make it okay to hurt people?’
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How to write angst ?
@urfriendlywriter | req by @everynowandthenihaveacrisis @aidyaiden :)
know your character. from their deepest fears to what they cherish the most. know your deepest fear, ask yourself how you will react and feel at that moment. "oh shit, if this happened to me I'll lose my mind" what's that type of scenario for you? write it. :)
decide on the type of angst you are going for!
major, minor, physical, emotional, paranormal, spiritual, verbal, abusive, quarrel, misunderstanding, etc.
and then, decide on--what reaction you can take out of your character by doing what to them.
are they gonna be, held at a gunpoint to give something up? or have their soul wrecked by whom they thought were close to them? or is it going be horror, or etctec, decide on it.
moving on to actually writing it-
Tip 1 - Use sensory details.
her eyes brimmed with tears
his chest heaved
pain clawed at his heart, as his face twisted with hurt
his scream pierced my heart
her lips quivered
she dug her nails into her palms (to distract herself, to stop it from shaking, etc)
show what is happening to ur MC, instead of telling it.
Tip 2 - how to actually write it.
If they're panicking, make them notice too many things at once, show every detail that they're seeing, feeling, from touch, to that burning sensation on their eyes, the blood on the ground, that dryness of their throat, the buzzing in their head and their parted lips unable to trust their own sight, and--and, boom! have them register that they're really really in trouble. and that they've to act fast.
use short, very minimal type of writing for this. make it long, but not long enough that it feels like it's being dragged.
the readers should hold themselves back from skimming the page out of curiousity, they should be in their toes to find out what happens next.
what does your MC do in times of panic? do they chant calm down to themselves, do they get angry, or start crying.. or?? what makes your character genuinely feel an emotion so hard that they'll burst?
there's always something, someone that'll always give them love and easily can be that something or someone to take it away. yk.
Tip 3 - crying.
what is close to your character that u can deprive them of? will it make them cry? beg for it?
what will make ur character cry so hard, that their scream fills everyone's ear, stays in their minds like ghosts and always haunts them?
make a character who never cries, burst out with tears.
while writing crying, focus on the 5 senses, one after the other.
focus it on their breath, make them run out of breath, gasp for air, feel like they're being choked, cry so scrutinizingly. it shud punch the reader's gut.
have them replay what had just happened over and over again in their head
best books and writing styles (for angst) to analyse and learn from (in my opinion);
3rd book in the AGGTM series (yk it hit hard like a truck. it got me depressed in bed the entire time lmao)
Five Survive by Holly Jackson. The moments of red outside of the truck, and moments leading to it.
there's this book called " Warm by @untalentedwriter127 " in wattpad. the author served angst for breakfast, lunch anddd dinner.
and if there's more angsty ones, drop em in the comments! :)
Hope this helps, tag me when yall write a masterpiece! ;)
#writer prompts#otp prompts#dialogue prompts#imagine your otp#writeblr#writing prompts#urfriendlywriter#writing inspiration#angsty dialouge prompts#angsty romance prompts#angst starter#angst prompts#angsty prompts#how to write#how to write angst#writing tips#writing inspo#writing ideas#tips to write angst#asks are open#otp drabble prompts#writing drabble#drabble ideas#writing#prompts#prompt list#otp dialogue#otp writing#otp things#otp ideas
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Having one of those days where I wanna delete everything I've ever written and crawl into a hole to hide for forever.
Don't worry, I'm not actually gonna. My brain is just being stupid.
#i don't know why i can't shake this feeling that everyone is gonna hate lucy and be hoping that she dies or ends up miserable#some of the responses i've gotten to these past two chapters have been...idk kinda hostile in a way that's got my defenses up#and i'm honestly kinda scared to post the rest of the series because i feel like the blowback i'm gonna get is gonna be really really bad#considering we're only just starting this arc and people already are upset with me over it#normally i'm fine with people not liking my fics or ocs but idk i've poured my whole heart and soul into lucy and this series#it makes me sad to know so many people are gonna hate her#bleghhhh sorry for being such a downer i'm just in a weird mood these past couple of days#lily babbles
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YAOI MAJORMOON / TRANSMASC PEARL PROPAGANDA : WARNINGS : /rom (mlm) majormoon , misgendering ( unintentionally ) , & internalised homophobia / queer impostor syndrome !!
Scott had always found it odd his soulmate had been a 'girl'. He knew platonic soulmates existed, that by definition soulmates weren't necessarily romantic partners at all: they were just people whose soul was carved out of the same substance as yours, two threads weaved out of the same yarn, the other half to your soul's unfinished set. But still, he'd always assumed his soulmate would be a romantic partner. Maybe it was because he was an idealist, a fantasist, a hopeless romantic, but whenever he'd imagined his soulmate, he'd imagined his future husband. A gentleman, a chevalier, a sweetheart who would sweep him off his feet and bring him bouquets and heart-shaped chocolates with corny love-notes scrawled on an attached note within. Even before Double Life, he had a feeling he'd always believed in soulmates... or at least daydreamed about the idea of having one. And who wouldn't? The thought of the perfect partner custom-fit to love him for who he was, designed to be the piece that completed his puzzle and made him whole, was an alluring concept. He wouldn't have to doubt if they were the one, if this was going to work out, if they were meant to be... because they had to be. They were soulmates... they were literally made to be each other's other half. They were made to be each other's forevers, their 'till death do us parts, they were made to love each other and get married and grow old together in a quaint cottage in a spruce forest. They'd get a lot of pets, and give them all silly names: like Binkie, or Barney, or Bucky... yes, Scott had already fantasized about what he had his future husband would name their pets, he was that down bad for a man he hadn't even met yet.
It wasn't hard to guess who it was, though. Especially after he'd run off to the Nether with Pearl. Everyone else had already found their soulmates, so it didn't take a genius for him and Cleo to figure out who their soulbounds were. He hadn't even met Martyn yet, but the guy really wasn't making the best first impression, making him take fire damage every two seconds as he galavanted about the most dangerous place in the world in the first session. Did he even have iron armour yet? He definitely wasn't giving off the kind, doting husband who'd kiss his wounds and tenderly wrap his injures next to the fireplace energy Scott had been hoping for, given he was the main inflictor of them thus far, and Scott couldn't deny that he was a little bit cross at Martyn for not bothering to even look for him whilst Scott had spent the entire day looking for his soulbound like a schoolgirl looking for their crush in a crowded hallway... but, he'd have to get over it, he supposed. He couldn't stay mad at Martyn for too long — he was his future husband, after all, and even if he wasn't acting like it right now by literally going to another dimension to get away from him... they were meant to be together. They were soulmates. Scott had been so smug when they went into to Lost and Bound, because the entire game was nugatory, because he already knew who Martyn's soulmate was; it's me, Martyn, can't you see? Can't you tell? It was so obvious, painfully so, he could feel his soul's connection to the blonde the second he laid eyes on him, like the universe was telling them they were meant to be, that Martyn was the one, it was so plain-to-see that it was idiotically endearing he couldn't tell his soulmate was obviously— ...Pearl? His eyes had to be playing tricks on him - it couldn't be right. They couldn't be soulmates. Could they? There was no way. No, they couldn't be, it wasn't possible. Pearl wasn't the man of his dreams - for a plethora of reasons, the first being she wasn't a man at all. She couldn't be his soulmate. And, yet, she was. And all his hopes and dreams of romance and matrimony were shattered. He'd never wake up in the early hours of the morning to the faint scent of bacon and eggs in the air because his husband had decided to surprise him with a warm breakfast-in-bed, he'd never watch a movie on the couch with his husband caressing his hair gently as they laid on top of each other and cuddled before drifting to sleep in each other's arms, he'd never get offered a spoonful of his husband's in-progress meal as he cooked to test the flavour and get to sweetly tell him it was just right... he'd never be loved. Not the way he wanted - not like that. She couldn't love him in the way he'd always dreamed of being loved in, the type of love he'd always wanted to have, she couldn't love him like a lover could. Sure, just because his soulmate wasn't his lover didn't mean he couldn't have a lover... but it did mean he could never have a lover who was truly his. He could never have a lover built for him, a lover made to love and be loved by him, a lover he could marry without knowing in the back of his mind this wasn't the person he was made to spend the rest of his life with. He could never love without being afraid they'd realise he wasn't meant to be theirs and leaving.
Or... maybe she was meant to be his lover. His... wife. Maybe they'd been right; all the people who had told him it's just a phase, you don't really like boys, you're just being silly, you'll grow out of it once you meet the right woman... Was she the 'right woman'? The one who was supposed to fix him? Make him straight? Cure him of his sickness? The thought made him feel sick. He didn't want to be fixed. He wasn't broken. He liked men - he knew this. He'd never like girls; never had, never would, he knew who he was and he was proud. She couldn't fix him because there was nothing wrong with him. He wasn't broken; this system was. The universe was homophobic. And, so, he told the universe what he told all homophobes: Fuck you. His chosen soulmate wasn't a boy, either, but they weren't a girl, which was at least better than the alternative. And, besides, he wasn't attracted to Cleo romantically, their situation was less of an actual soulmateship and more of a mutual spite against fate, an attempt to try to prove this soulmate thing could be defied, an alliance against the universe. The universe, which he had learned, was only homophobic to him specifically, given every other soulmate pairing on the server outside of his and Cleo's were male-and-male. He'd been put in the only female-and-male pair-up out of all the soulbounds. The universe was definitely being homophobic to him. Had he done something in his last life to piss it off somehow? Whatever the reason, he refused to give in to its' will. He refused to give up on who he was, he refused to play a game rigged against him from the start. Besides, no matter what this soulmate system had to say, he didn't believe he and Pearl were actually soulmates. She was nothing like him: she was careless, reckless, stupid, obnoxiously infuriating in every regard... these weren't words he used lightly, but he could say with full confidence that he hated her. Detested, deplored, disdained... absolutely abhorred her. And that only got worse when he was forced to team-up with her. He'd spent the entire season avoiding her — both because she was insufferable... ...And because he was terrified of what might happen if he gave her a chance. If he allowed himself to feel anything other than hatred and distain for her existence. He hated her for the way she made his heart quicken, his cheeks redden, the way she made him doubt himself, made him wonder what if the universe was right? What if he she was the 'right woman'? What if he really had just been 'confused' the whole time? It was hard to keep his distance from her when they were both stuck in the same tower, forced to fight on the same side, mutual enemies on their tails meaning they had to put their differences aside and actually work together. And part of working together meant they could no longer hurt themselves just for the sake of hurting the other - this game wasn't just a game anymore, they couldn't be busy fighting each other when they had actual foes to fight, petty rivalry was a luxury they could no longer afford. But it seemed she really hadn't been getting the memo... because despite them both agreeing to stop with the axe-crits and the snow buckets, when his ribs began to feel like they were splintering into a thousand pieces, and he made the educated guess she wasn't holding up her end of the bargain.
"Pearl," Scott's voice was groggy, his lilt low and raspy with a mixture of pain, exhaustion, and anger. It was so difficult to breathe, as if a constrictor had wrapped around his chest and was squeezing the air out of his lungs, a subtle suffocation draining him of both breath and patience. "What did you do?" "What do you mean?" Pearl hummed, blithefully and blissfully, as if she didn't have a care in the world... he knew she had a high pain-tolerance, the hypothermia was enough indication of that, but the fact she could hum whilst her lungs must have felt like they were collapsing was just baffling. She was almost acting as if she was genuinely oblivious, as if she didn't have the slightest clue what he was referring to, even though she must have. "I'm not stupid! I thought we agreed we'd quit with the 'tickles'. My ribcage feels like it's about to collapse in on itself and skewer my heart." Scott couldn't quite keep the exasperated outrage out of his voice, even when she flinched - how could he? She was playing coy, and he didn't quite have the patience for her antics, because he was in indescribable pain and it was her fault and he really thought they'd finally been seeing eye-to-eye but then she just had to go back to her old ways didn't she? "Oh — oh!" Pearl gasped, as if she had just noticed the agony herself... Scott didn't see how she could have possibly forgotten; the pulsating pain was a pretty persistent reminder. "Oops — sorry! Sorry, sorry! I... forgot you could feel that, hah, my bad!" That seemed like a pretty hard thing to forget. Both the pain and the fact they were soulbound - now he knew she had to be playing games with him, because this was just ridiculous. "Jesus - Just make it stop! How are you even making it feel like my ribs are breaking without doing anything?" At least one of his ribs had to be broken. He'd tried to check by running his fingertips' along his skin to test for cracks, but he'd become nauseous with pain just doing so, so abandoned that venture quickly and decided it was safe to assume because properly checking would probably be enough to make him pass out. "Pfha, now, c'mon, Scott, I think you might be being a teeeensy bit dramatic, there," He was not. His ribs were on fire. How could she laugh? He could hardly breathe. "'m just wearing a binder!" His heart stopped. He couldn't tell if it was out of sheer shock or because one of his ribs had finally properly dislodged and stabbed through one of his ventricles. "You're... wearing a what?"
"A—! A... a binder?" her... her...? — Pearl's voice trailed off with abrupt hesitancy at the shock in his voice, their tone becoming a bit warier, quieter, as they noticed his change in demeanour. They became a bit more defensive, prickly and umbrageous as they prompted, slowly, "...Is that a problem? Gee, Scott, didn't think you'd of all people would hav'a problem with that—" "No!" Scott answered breathlessly on reflex, even though it was, in fact, a bit of a problem, because it still felt like he was suffocating to death, but he didn't want them to think for a second he was a bigot. They hated him, yes, but he wanted them to hate him for the right reasons, not because they thought he was a scumbag. "I — I just — I'm... surprised. Why? Are you... wearing a binder? It's not that you can't, you just — you told me... you were a cis woman, so, I don’t see... why you’d be… wearing a binder?" "Things change, Scott! 've been stuck in isolation for the last few months with nobody 'xcept me and Tilly, had a lot of time to myself, lotta time to think, experiment! Not much else to do when you've got nobody to talk, y'know?” They shrugged. ”Oh.” That was the dumb, numb sound that left Scott’s mouth. He didn’t know what else to say - his mind was reeling with the realization, his entire world turned topsy-turvy, because if they were saying what he thought they were saying... they hadn't been turning him straight; his heart had just known they were in the wrong body before he had. Before even they had, probably, his gaydar was so attuned it has sensed they were a man before they had even sensed they were a man themself. Scott powered through the turbulent turmoil in his mind to obligatorily ask: “What pronouns would you… prefer I call you, now, then?” Pearl hesitated for a heartbeat, as if surprised, as if those had been the last words they’d expected to hear leave his mouth - or, rather, as if it was a question they’d never expected anyone to ask. Let alone expected to have to answer. “I… don’t really know? I think… I like being called he? Maybe? But, I dunno, hard to tell. It’s been difficult to test out pronouns, since there isn’t reaaaally anyone around to call me them…” He finally answered after a moment of introspection, voice softer, more vulnerable, laced and laden with the fervent confusion of somebody who didn’t know who he was yet - somebody who hadn’t quite figured out who he wanted to be. Scott knew the tone of voice all too well - it was one he’d spoken in before. He knew what it was like to be confused. To not understand who you were yet. To feel broken.
“I know a guy,” Scott started, slowly, “His name is Pearl. He’s my crazy ex-boyfriend - he’s got a weird codependent relationship with his dog, and he loves to make my life miserable in any way he can think of. He’s reckless, has no sense of self-preservation whatsoever, is probably going to get us killed, and is definitely a bit off his rocker.” He teased him experimentally. Pearl’s eyes lit up, pupils bright like the full moon beneath his irises’ nightsky, and he giggled, unable to keep the euphoric grin off his face, “Pfth — yeah, I — I liked that. I like that a lot. That… that feels right. He feels right. I like he.” “He suits you,” Scott agreed. Scott had always found it odd his soulmate had been a ‘girl’. Now he knew why.
“But seriously, I’ve never had to bind before, but I feel like it shouldn't make you feel like your lungs are imploding — what’re you even binding with?” “Oh! Just ‘sum bandages and duct tape!” “PEARL!”
Round 2 Match 4
(all ships are ambiguous unless specified)
The ship that wins round two will have 500 word fic written by me!
#if u can't tell. this is a canon-divergent au where nobody remembers the previous life season and got their memories wiped each new season !#so scott doesn't remember last life ( and neither does pearl / anybody rlly ! )#in this au last life pearl and scott were married :) neither of them remember it tho. the mind forgets. but the heart never does.#the most challenging part of this fic was writing scott so PAINFULLY allo. mans down bad for a romantic relationship. could not relate fr#actually changed my mind. most challenging part of this fic was the moment where scott had to (incorrectly) consider he may like women#felt absolutely ILLEGAL to write. genuinely horrid. hurt my soul#ANYWAY wrote this entire thing in 1 sitting from 12pm-4am. and barely proofread it. SO. THERES PROBABLY ALOTTA MISTAKES. SRRY ABT THAT LOL#im typically a qpr believer but i understand we must fight yuri with the only thing that could possibly defeat it: yaoi#I HAVE GIVEN U UR YAOI. NOW VOTE GALAXY DUO!!!!!#//#reblog#sugar's writing#my writing#double life#double life smp#traffic life series#trafficblr#life series#double life pearl#double life scott#pearlescentmoon#scott smajor#galaxy duo#majormoon#pmsb propaganda#rom galaxy duo propaganda#trans pearl au#(or as i like to call it. oyster au)#( b. bc... pearls. .. r in ostyers. its like the trans egg analog. y ... but ..with oyster... . im a geinus)
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the parent trap | KHJ
part 1 of the Night in Hollywood!series
☆ trope: exes to lovers!au, divorced!au
☆ pairing: producer!hongjoong x designer!reader, dad!joong x mom!reader
☆ warnings: nsfw (mdni), swearing, mentions of food, mentions of food poisoning, female desc. reader, drinking, suggestiveness, smut, slight!breeding kink, oral sex (f. receiving), overstim, unprotected sex (wrap before you tap!) nipple play, titty sucking, marking, praise, slightdom!joong, blond!joong bc that itself is too much for me, mentions of (early) pregnancy, you’re both in your early thirties and make an unbelievably stubborn couple in this!
☆ synopsis: AS DIVORCED PARENTS to two twin daughters, you and hongjoong have your fair share of work cut out. Driving to piano lessons, cheering at hockey games, drop offs at each other’s houses, it can all be a little much. But could a relaxing summer retreat as a whole family possibly rekindle past emotions you’ve swept under the rug? . . .
☆ word count: 18.1k
☆ playlist: soulful strut by young-holt unlimited, l-o-v-e by nat king cole, just the way you are by billy joel, slipping through my fingers by abba, this will be (an everlasting love) by natalie cole
☆ a/n: it’s finally here. I can’t believe I’m writing this and saying it’s finally here oh my goodness. first off, thank you from the bottom of my heart to everyone who has supported me with the series so far (shoutout to @kitten4sannie , @byuntrash101 and especially @desirehorizon for being amazing!) everyone’s sweet comments have been greatly appreciated, and I just hope this silly little fic brings a smile to your everyday lives.
ty for making writing worth it as a writer. now cue the opening credits!
“ABSOLUTELY NOT” Hongjoong says.
“But dadd,” she whines, clutching the wrinkled pamphlet closer to her chest. Eunseo’s small hands are covered in purple doodles her sister drew using a glitter pen.
“Why not?” the girl complains, shrugging her shoulders.
He sighs, pushing his glasses up with one hand as he continues typing away at the important document the producing company sent him on his laptop. He tries his best to reason with the child.
“Because, baby…” pausing to think for a moment before responding. “It would be hard for your mom and I to find a time that fits into our schedules. I’ve got work, and she must be busy as well.”
Eunseo glares at her father’s excuse.
Okay, yeah, the man knows it’s somewhat of a lie, himself.
She continues to protest by shoving the advertising pamphlet in her dads face and blocking his view of the screen. Thankfully, Hongjoong is used to these sort of work distractions, expertly avoiding her by craning his neck sideways and continuing to type away.
“But dad, it’s an amazing cottage resort! They’ve got a lake where you can go swimming in, a forest hiking trail, a bonfire to roast marshmallows and even a diner less than fifteen minutes away! So if you end up burning the camp food like last time, we can just order and eat in! Isn’t that great?” She beams.
He stops typing for a second, fingers hovering over the keyboard as he gives his first born a look that makes her immediately break into a sweet smile, batting her lashes and flashing him a look of innocence.
“Please?” She begs, standing on the edge of her feet as she gazes up at him. “The last time we went was when Eunbyul and me were toddlers.”
And how on earth could any dad’s heart not melt at the sight of his daughter trying to convince him about one harmless vacation?
Hongjoong wheels his office chair back, turning so he could look her in the eyes properly and tuck a stray hair behind her ear.
“Listen honey, I’m sorry, I really wish I could, but…” he trails off, looking back at the open tabs and file documents displayed on his computer.
Turning his head around and upon seeing a frown form on his daughter's face, he quickly reassures her.
“Once you finish your final piano recital tomorrow and your mom picks your sister up to take her to her hockey game, how about we go fishing the weekend afterwards?” he suggests, brows raising. “That’ll mean I have just the two of you all to myself.”
Eunseo mumbles under her breath, quiet but insistent enough that he catches it.
“But we’re supposed to be a family of four.”
She sulks, thinking of how that would leave you, her mother, left out of their plans. The arms holding the pamphlet up, ultimately fall down in defeat.
He places a peck on her forehead, patting her on the back. “You know, if you can get your mom to say yes, then I’ll think about it” he chuckles, knowing the highly unlikely probability of the event.
Adjusting his glasses, the producer goes back to his work, peeking his daughter slugging away from the corner of his eye.
Eunseo slumps her shoulders in defeat as she walks out of her dads office, turning the corner to see her twin sister, Eunbyeol, pressing her ears near the door with her neck outstretched. Clearly she’s been caught in the middle of trying to overhear their conversation.
The twin younger by fifteen seconds quickly rushes over, waiting expectantly.
“So? What did dad say?”
Eunseo exhales, throwing the information pamphlet away on the wooden floors and slumping against the living room couch.
“He’s totally not buggin. Said he wants to take us fishing next weekend instead. Just us three.” she grumbles.
Eunbyeol scrunches her nose at the idea.
“But dad sucks at fishing.”
Her sister groans, kicking her small feet against the couch in frustration. “I know!” Eunbyeol starts to worry, coming to sit beside her.
“Then how on earth are we going to get mom and dad to get back with each other again? They haven’t been in the same room since we were like, five!”
Her twin sister scoffs, “First, we gotta get them to have a proper conversation with each other. They barely even talk when they drop us off at each other's houses.”
Nobody truly knows why you and Hongjoong had divorced so suddenly when the girls were young. Not even themselves.
All they were used to were cold stares and one word replies shared amongst their parents, refusing to find harmony in their co-parenting.
Frankly, your girls have had enough of the performance you were both trying to maintain, looking past your expressions to realize you and your husband still held feelings for the other. It was only a matter of time and place in order to set you two up together, thus, the idea of an intimate, family getaway came into their minds.
After a few moments of letting her words hang in the air, Eunbyeol’s eyes widened to the size of saucers.
“That’s it!”
The older twin looks up quizzically, watching her sister jump off the couch and gaze at her excitedly.
“We’ll just have to force them to meet each other! We can always guilt trip them for dropping us off at their houses and making us play alone!”
Eunseo rolls her eyes at the idea. “Right, and how are we going to do that dummy? The only reason they’d do that, was if it was an emergency.”
Whoever said twin telepathy wasn’t a thing was a liar, because the second Eunseo catches onto what her sister is saying, the twins share a look of pure mischievousness, the gears in their brains working together as one.
With hushed whispers and quiet giggles, the twins immediately begin conducting their plan in secrecy near the corner of the living room, backs turned and in the middle of discussion when Hongjoong walks out of his office with an empty coffee mug.
“What are you guys doing over there?”
“Leave us alone! Family man traitor!” Eunbyeol shouts, holding a slightly hostile grudge to her father before turning back to whisper to her twin.
Hongjoong shakes his head, sighing as he heads into the kitchen.
“Then it’s perfect! I’ll stay here with dad once my piano recital is over, and then when Mom picks you up for your hockey game tomorrow, we’ll try convincing them together!”
Eunbyeol nods her head in agreement, eyes lighting up with excitement as she whispers in a hushed tone.
“And once both events end, we’ll pretend to be so sick that they have to take us to the nearby hospital.”
The other twin smirks. ”Where we’ll end up guilt tripping them into taking us to the cottage.”
They double high five in victory at their flawless plan, already waiting for tomorrow to come as soon as possible.
“A summer cottage?” you repeated, brows raising at the idea as you made a left turn onto your street.
Eunbyeol nods eagerly from the back seat after getting picked up, having ranted on and on about the ad in the pamphlet since the moment you saw her.
“It's an amazing establishment mom,” She boasts, making you laugh at her words while parking the car and unbuckling your seatbelt.
“They have everything you could possibly think of!”
“Oh, really?” You say skeptically, opening the door for her.
Eunbyeol is lost in the middle of passionately describing all the relaxing activities you could do by yourself, or rather per se, with a special partner together.
“There’s couples hiking retreats, couples canoeing, couples yoga… did I mention couples hiking retreats?” She confuses, retracing her words.
You roll your eyes and smile, keys jangling as you walk through the entrance of your apartment flat while balancing the bags and items in your hands.
Being a wedding dress designer and yet picking up your daughter from your ex-husband's house could’ve been ironic to some people. But after having split with Hongjoong since the girls were so young, you came to grow fond of having some independence as a divorcee, channeling your main focus into setting up your own bridal shop downtown.
It was through that hard work and focus that you did it all by yourself with no additional help.
You’d be lying if you said you haven't opened a bottle of red wine some nights due to loneliness as a divorced single mother, but at least that was what you had your daughters for.
You made sure to work just as hard as you did enjoy playing and spending time with them. After all, they were the light of your life and purpose for living.
Balancing the pizza you picked up on the way home, you set it down on the kitchen island, telling Eunbyeol to go wash her hands in the sink. The girl doesn’t stop ranting.
“There’s usually only two rooms in the cottage, so you’ll have to sleep together with dad, but I guess you won't mind, would you? After all, you were once married” She rolls her eyes, reaching for the soap.
You shake your head with a sigh. ”What is up with you and getting me and your father together in the same room?” you muttered as you took out the plates and utensils.
Eunbyeol eventually walks back to you, wiping her hands on her baggy jeans before sitting on the kitchen stool.
“It’s not that I’m obsessed, Mom. Actually, Eunseo and I are just dying to get away this summer now that school is over.”
Turning around from plating the pizza and salad, you chastise your daughter, telling her to sit with her bum flat on the stool so she doesn’t fall. She immediately listens, carrying on with her persuasion.
“We just want you and dad to get the chance to relax as well, that’s all!” her mouth full from a bite of hot, greasy pizza.
You smile, wiping your washed hands on the kitchen towel and coming over to wrap your arms around her affectionately.
“Spending time with you and Eunseo every week is how I relax,” you assured her, smothering your baby with kisses on her cheek.
Byeol lets out a squeal of annoyance, taking another bite of her pizza. “You’re squishing me!” She tries hiding her smile, failing when you lean in closer.
You pull back in laughter, ruffling her hair as you walk away while reminding her.
“Oh! Don’t forget you’ve got your hockey game tonight!”
Byeol chews faster, munching on the soft crust and counting down the hours on the kitchen clock.
She smiles to herself.
“Don’t worry, I know!”
“What do you mean you need to go to the hospital?” Hongjoong asks in a worried voice, standing against the women’s washroom stall. He holds Eunseo’s congratulatory flower bouquet for first place in hand, feeling the stares of multiple women passing by, clearly judging him for being in the ladies room with them.
“Honey, is everything all right?” He asks worriedly. A string of groans come from behind the door.
“You need to leave!” one old lady thrusts her walking cane at the father, lips pursed in dissatisfaction.
Eunseo did such a phenomenal job tonight for her piano recital, that Hongjoong was shocked to see his daughter clutch her stomach first thing after running down the steps of the stage, dashing to the washrooms.
He whips his head back. “My daughter’s having a bit of a situation in here, okay miss? Have a bit of understanding!” He barks frustratedly out loud to the onlookers before speaking softly back to the stall door.
“Eunseo, baby, talk to me, is everything alright in there? Are you sure you need to go to the hospital? Is it that bad?”
The girl continues her acting performance, letting out fake groans while typing furiously on her cellphone.
“Oh the pain! I think I might have food poisoning, dad!”
Seolie: How far along are u
Byeolie: Mom’s outside, banging to come in.
Seolie: same, I told dad I needed to go to the hospital.
Eunseo lets out another groan of pain, causing Hongjoong to worry even more.
“That’s it, Eunseo. Let me in and help you” he decides, searching his bag for a painkiller or at least some sort of medication for relief.
The girl frantically checks her phone, eyes lighting up at the new message.
Byeolie: Mom’s getting the car to take me to the hospital. I’ve got her convinced to call dad soon.
Eunseo types as fast as her small fingers can move, even faster than when she performed her piano solo from before.
Seolie: Then what do I do????
Hongjoong gets slightly suspicious at the lack of sound coming from the stall, calling to his daughter again.
“Eunseo? Everything alright?”
At the next notification, the girl makes up her mind, getting the signal from her sister.
Byeolie: play dead. Mom calling soon. See ya there.
The actress gets into character, gaining her composure before unlocking the washroom stall and holding her stomach as she stumbles into her dad’s surprised arms.
“Eunseo!”
She wails, falling limp. “Oh, dad! Please! Take me to the hospital, it hurts too much!”
It’s truly a mystery which parent she got her acting skills from.
But she doesn’t have to tell him twice at that point. The man is already piggy backing his fainted daughter and sprinting out of the ladies washroom, reassuring her with soothing comments as he makes a beeline for the parking lot.
“Stay with me baby!” He huffs, unbeknownst to Eunseo who peeks one eye open.
Only after he straps his daughter in the backseat and is turning on the engine does he receive a sudden phone call from you, pressing the speaker for the whole car to hear your panicked voice. You break the news to him first.
“Eunbyeol’s severely sick. She fainted right after her hockey game.”
Hongjoong’s eyes widened. “What?”
You sighed, running a hand through your hair. “She was holding her stomach saying she ate something wrong. Is Eunseo okay?”
Hongjoong puts the stick into drive, backing out of the parking lot and replying in a hurry.
“She’s hit with the same thing right now. I’ll meet you at the Hospital in ten” he grunts, sweat forming on his brow as he speeds through traffic, not caring if he gets a ticket.
Had he looked in his rear view mirror, he would have seen Eunseo sagging near the car door, clutching her stomach with a small grin on her face.
You never liked the hospital.
The sounds of babies crying and hospital beds wheeling become the background noise, shifting nervously in your seat that was in the emergency pediatrics unit waiting area.
Hongjoong has his eyebrows furrowed, hunched over one seat beside you as he hangs his head in his hands, knees bouncing up and down. A middle aged nurse nasally calls on the next family waiting from the front desk, boredom laced in her voice.
You sigh, uncrossing your legs and choosing to bite at the fingernail on your right hand once realizing you’ve already done the same to all the ones on your left.
“It’s all my fault.” Hongjoong confesses, suddenly sitting still.
You glance to your left, watching as he sits up slowly.
“Last thing they ate together would’ve been at my house. I probably made them sick with something I fed them,” he dejects, hanging his head down in shame.
“It’s all my fault, god I’m so stupid!” He beats himself up.
You have half the mind to snap at your ex-husband, anger already filling up inside you earlier when you heard Eunbyeol suggest it was something she ate at her dad’s house. You really did want to yell at him for being so bad of a chef that he sent his own daughters to the emergency pediatrics unit, undeniably relieved that Seonghwa was working tonight’s shift.
But those cruel words sitting on the tip of your tongue are thrown away when you glance down to see your ex-husband missing a shoe on one of his feet.
Hongjoong rushed over here so fast with Eunseo that he left his shoe behind like some sort of fairytale, Cinderella. He hasn’t even realized he wasn’t wearing one right now.
You exhaled, knowing that if there's one thing you’ve learned while parenting, it was that to have patience and understanding was a virtue. Even for your ex-husband.
“It’s not your fault,” you sighed, staring at your hands folded in your lap.
It feels awkward when Hongjoong stops tugging at his blond locks to look at you in surprise, continuing to speak as you place a gentle hand on his thigh.
“That could’ve happened to anyone. We don’t know yet if it was because of the food. Let’s just pray and wait and see” your voice being a sign of reliability to him.
The man is a little shocked at your supportive nature to tell you truthfully. He delivers all the things he needs to say through his grateful gaze alone, reciprocating a small smile.
“Didn’t think I’d see you guys tonight.” Seonghwa chuckles, walking in before Hongjoong has the chance to reply. He comes from the patient's room wearing his dashing, white doctor's coat. “Together, at that” he mumbles under his breath before looking up and flashing you a polite smile while giving his worried friend a soft pat on the back.
Hongjoong holds his breath when he asks: “How are they?”
“Better,” he tells him, flipping through some papers on his clipboard. “But it was a big shock to their bodies. They need some rest at the moment.”
The pediatrician tries not to show his smile, standing in front of you and Hongjoong while hiding his expression behind his clipboard as per his niece’s request.
To be fair, if someone had told Seonghwa earlier that evening that he would receive a fifteen minute pep talk from his best friend's twin daughters that day in the emergency unit, he would’ve laughed in their faces.
Alas, life was always filled with surprises. Here’s what went down thirty minutes earlier in the hospital room:
“We’re trying to get them back together,” Eunseo announced confidently, sitting next to her sister on the hospital bed.
Eunbyeol nodded, eyeing the dumbfounded medical professional standing in front of them with his clipboard tucked under his arm, hands in his pockets.
“So.. you guys don’t need an IV drip?”
“It’s this whole entire thing, Uncle Hwa, we’ll explain to you later.”
It took a minute before Seonghwa reclaimed his composure as an adult, chastising the twins for pulling a false alarm over something like this. He made sure to make them promise him they wouldn’t do something stupid like this again. But after that, of course Seonghwa is immediately pairing to help them with their plan on getting his best friend back together with his ex-wife. The man is just tired of watching Hongjoong beat himself up half the time about missing you.
“So you essentially want me to lie about the fact that you guys don’t have food poisoning, and were just faking this whole thing so your mom and dad would have a reason to see each other.”
The twins nod, one of them pointing out. “And make sure to tell them we’re fine of course. Maybe throw in we’re like, really sick, but that we’ll live so it’s best if we get rest.”
“At like a cottage or something” the other chimes in, wiggling her eyebrows at the hint.
The doctor sighs, scratching his neck sheepishly.
When Seonghwa leads you and Hongjoong into the hospital room, both of you feel awful seeing your babies laying in their beds, dressed in the children’s gowns.
Eunbyeol peeks open her eyes first, voice hoarse (she practiced).
“Mom? Dad? Is that you?” she groans, pretending to clutch her stomach in pain.
Both you and Hongjoong rush to each child, grasping their hands and stroking their heads softly with sympathy.
“Hey baby, I’m here” you coo.
“I’m so, so sorry girls, it was probably all my fault. I should’ve never cooked for you guys earlier today.” their dad cries out painfully, looking down in shame.
You come to stand beside him, reassuring them both. “But what’s important is that you guys get better now. We want to make sure you get the rest you need” you say, making eye contact with your ex-husband.
Seonghwa clears his throat, crossing his arms as he flashes a wink to the girls behind your backs.
“They seemed to have been mentally exhausted as well,” He asks on purpose, watching as you and Hongjoong share a look with each other. “Have they been receiving proper familial support at home?”
“I can’t even remember the last time I saw my parents in the same room together.” Eunseo weakly admits, showing a faint smile.
As parents, you and Joong feel the most amount of guilt anyone could ever feel. You realize how exhausting and stressful the pickups and drop offs to each other's houses could’ve been, especially when you two were so busy with your respective jobs to spend time with your daughters now that it was summer break for them.
Hongjoong smiles, holding both their hands and making a promise to them.
“Make sure to rest you two. Tell me, is there anything you guys need right now? Anything you guys want I'll make sure to get it for you.”
”Do you guys have crunchy ice?” Eunbyeol blurts out loud, breaking her weak facade.
Eunseo almost wants to shoot a glare at her sister but she realizes both of you are still looking at them.
“I can get you some ice!” Seonghwa quickly assures you and his nieces, mouthing to them good luck for support as he shuts the door behind him.
You sigh, coming over to stroke Eunseo’s hair and caress Eunbyeol’s hand.
“Well? Is there anything else you guys need from us?” Hongjoong states, eyes soft in sympathy. You nod, waiting to hear their response.
“Let us know girls, anything at all.”
Eunbyeol and Eunseo finally take their chance, sharing a hesitant look before speaking at the same time.
“We want to go to the cottage”
“Together,” Eunseo says.
“As a family.” Eunbyeol adds in.
You and Hongjoong share a silent look.
Later into the night, the twins are finally discharged from the hospital, deciding that they would stay at Hongjoong’s mothers apartment which was closest nearby, considering they were both tired and immediately needed a place to rest.
The car ride home is awkwardly silent, even as the kids are (what you think) to be fast asleep, hockey gear and a bouquet of flowers riding with them in the backseat.
It was at their request for you to drive them to their grandmother's house, wanting both their parents with them till the ride home. Hongjoong settled on driving your car and dropping all of you off, planning to take a taxi back home and pick up his own car in the morning. Despite your protest on how inconvenient that was, he insisted as he didn’t want to disappoint the twins.
But suddenly the man begins to regret his offer, currently driving in complete silence on the highway, eyes facing forward and shoulders tense. Quiet FM nightly jazz plays from the radio.
You’re sitting passenger seat up front with him in what feels like forever, looking solely at the reflections in the window, the street lamp lights scattering across your face as you travel through the nighttime traffic. It’s awkward being together like this.
You hear him clear his voice, speaking softly so he doesn’t wake up the girls.
“So, are we really considering that cottage retreat?” he glances back at you.
You sit up, straightening your back and exhaling as you secretly wanted to have avoided that topic of discussion.
“We can’t Hongjoong,” you reasoned, shaking your head. “I couldn’t possibly take a whole vacation from the dress shop. Not unless I had someone take care of it for me, which my staff probably aren’t ready to do.” you explained, voice tense.
Hongjoong nodded, understanding your point of view. “I realize that. I’ve got a few projects I have to record and demo with Eden.” he tells you, an arm placed on the wheel with his sleeve rolled up. His veins become perfectly outlined as he passionately tells you about his producing job.
He’s so hot like that.
Jesus what were you thinking? Cursing your mind as you clear your voice and try to change the topic.
“How’s everything been going then?” you say stiffly. He nods, still awkward with sharing conversation with you.
“Um, it's going good. You?” he asks.
“Fine.” you swallow.
Silence prevails. He’s first to speak again, building the courage to say the next thing in his mind.
“I’m willing to put things on hold if I need to.” He confesses.
Hongjoong continues to drive normally after having said that. Now it becomes your turn to stare at him now, watching how he glances at the side mirror, switching lanes swiftly like the pro-driver he was.
“What do you mean?”
“Honestly, I think it would be good for the girls,” he admits, calling you by your name. Even hearing him call you your name feels weird. It feels foreign, like it almost wasn’t yours.
“Hongjoong-” you warn, shaking your head at the warry possibility.
“Just hear me out, alright?” He states firmly, making you quiet.
He glances back into the rear view mirror, watching your girls peacefully asleep with their heads leaning against each other.
“It’s been almost seven years. Seven years since they’ve last seen their parents speak to each other without breaking into a fight. Tonight was the first time they saw us together without having to plan a drop off and pick up in god knows how long.”
Hongjoong licks his lips, gripping the wheel as he emphasizes. “Seven years since they’ve gotten a goodnight hug and kiss from us at the same time in one place.”
You scoff, turning to face him properly this time. “I don’t know why you’re acting as though we can make this request of theirs come true Hongjoong. This is a big deal-”
“It is a big deal!” he exclaims, trying to get his point across. “I can see how badly our daughters want us to both be in their lives more, to acknowledge the fact that the other still exists after splitting apart.”
He sighs. “Us, not acknowledging each other’s existence at all is worse than if we had to see each other regularly.”
You bite your lip, getting angry. “So what Hongjoong? You’re saying you want to suddenly play family with them at the cottage?”
You shrug your shoulders. “Do you really think we can pretend to be normal parents to them without fighting like we are now? There’s a reason why our current schedules work. Don’t make me seem like the bad guy for not wanting to take them.” You glared, pointing a finger at him. His jaw locks.
“You fully knew the lifestyle changes we would need to make as a couple when you signed those legal papers—”
“Well then did you also predict everything that happened after you brought me those papers?” He spits like venom, gaze hard as he clenches the wheel.
You blink your eyes at his words, pressing your knees together at his sudden attack.
You don’t remember clearly if you even meant what you said at the time when you threw those papers at him seven years ago. But all you still know is that Hongjoong was just as stubborn as you were, making up his mind to sign them in the end regardless.
Looking in the rear view mirror, you muttered to him quietly.
“Don’t raise your voice. The kids are sleeping.”
Their dad scoffs, muttering a sure, under his breath as he switches lanes.
The kids were in fact, not sleeping, and very much awake. Eyes closed but ears wide, as they were listening in to the first real discussion their parents were having in so long. Or perhaps it was an argument?
At the right turn into his mother’s apartment’s underground parking lot, Hongjoong shuts off the engine, getting out of the car without another word and shutting the door in your face.
You pinched the bridge of your nose, hear the back door open.
You watch in the corner of your vision as his demeanor immediately changes, softly caressing Eunseo and Eunbyeol’s hair.
“Hey girls, we’re here now. You gotta wake up.” He coos.
They yawn theatrically, pretending to stretch their arms.
“So soon?” Eunbyeol mumbles.
A few feet ahead, you see your mother in law walking out from the elevators, a knit cardigan wrapped around her small frame. You smiled, getting out of the car and greeting her first.
“We’ll leave Eunbyeol’s hockey gear with you for the night if that’s alright Mom-”
Hongjoong’s words are cut off as the woman who birthed him walks straight past him, ignoring him and immediately taking you in her warm embrace, eyes forming crescent moons.
“How are you my dear?” she asks, causing you to smile and hug your mother in law affectionately. “It’s been so long, I’ve missed you so much!”
Despite the break up between you and Hongjoong, you were thankful for one thing, and that was the fact that your relationship with Hongjoong’s family stayed strong, especially with Mrs. Kim.
“I’ve missed you too” you tell her genuinely. “I’ve been good, I’m just sorry for dropping them off so suddenly at your place,” You say, feeling apologetic for waking her up late into the night.
“We had a bit of a situation,” you explain, watching as Hongjoong collects their things.
She shakes her head, reassuring you. “Nonsense! Why would you be sorry for that.” she grins, turning her head at the car. “And where are my girls, may I ask?”
At the sound of her voice, Eunbyeol and Eunseo dash out from the back seat and into their grandmother's welcoming arms, pressing soft kisses to her cheeks.
Hongjoong is the only person that stands all alone, awkwardly holding the bouquet of flowers with heavy hockey gear and a duffle bag perched on his shoulder.
“Oh, how I’ve missed my little squirrels!” she exclaims using their signature pet name and happily reuniting with her grandchildren.
She turns her head, face falling at the sight of her son and lips pursing into a frown.
“And where on earth have you been? Not giving me a call!” she snaps, slapping her son on his back. Eunbyeol laughs out loud while Eunseo tries to keep her giggles in.
You hear your ex husband protest to her while you close the back seat door.
“OW! I’ve been busy alright?” he mumbles, massaging his sore arm.
Your mother in law takes both the twins hand’s on each side, nodding her head to you.
“Leave all the kid’s stuff to Hongjoong, he’ll take care of it darling” she smiles sweetly, sending a glare to her son to take a hint and be more of a gentleman to you. She walks away with her smiling granddaughters, exchanging light-hearted giggles and excitement. “Bye, mom!” The twins wave back.
Hongjoong cranes his head up, sighing at the ceiling before taking Eunseo’s piano bag that you were holding in your hand in one swift motion, walking reluctantly behind the three.
“Stay here. I’ll drop them off.” he briskly walks away, leaving you stunned.
Hongjoongs words from before can’t help but replay inside your head as you wait for him to come back down.
Before you guessed it, it was already the ride back home, and the car was painfully silent once again. In reality, you were each thinking deeply to yourselves about the possibility of the cottage retreat. Could you really be a mom and dad together as a couple to your kids?
“Are you giving your plants enough water?” He brings you out of thought, the car slowing down as he turns onto your street.
You look up, giving him a confused look.
Hongjoong nods in direction, following his eyes to look at the measly, dying flower pot perched on the steps of your flat’s entrance as the car stopped to a halt. “You know, it’s really hard for plants to die when they’re outside.” He says in amazement at your shit gardening.
You scowl at him, asking him when he became such a plant expert all of a sudden.
He continues to poke fun at you, smirking when he undoes his seat belt. Hongjoong suddenly leans over to help you unbuckle your own, face dangerously close to yours as he lowers his voice.
“Unless their owner just really sucks at taking care of them.”
His eyes gaze into yours for a split second, feeling your face heat up from the proximity. You let out a tiny gasp for air when he leans back in his own seat.
“Fuck off” you replied harshly.
“You should give them some more care,” he suggests, ignoring your swearing.
You don’t reply to his stupid comment, refusing to look at him as you get out of the car.
“I can go in by myself” you press, adjusting the strap of your purse on your shoulder. You didn’t think it was necessary to draw out your time with this man any further.
Hongjoong straightens his dress shirt as he moves to your side of the car, shoving his own car keys in his trousers as he locks your doors and hands over the keys. You take them hesitantly, watching as he rests against the car door, strong arms crossing against his chest.
“Think about it at least.” he mutters to you.
You look at him, eyes shutting softly when you realize he was still talking about the cottage getaway. Sighing his name is exasperation, you run a hand through your hair.
“Hongjoong-”
“Would it kill you to spend a week with me and our daughters?” He scoffs as he asks you straight up, looking at you in a way that makes you hesitate to say your next words. You observed one hand come to shuffle with the silver lighter in his trouser pockets.
You stayed silent for a moment, genuinely thinking back to your daughters and what this meant to them if you went. What this would mean for you two as well.
Finally, you look up to him, returning his gaze.
“I need time.”
He nods, face serious. “I understand.”
“Let me think about it.” You mumbled.
And with that you turn around, walking up the steps to your front door. At the sight of your flowerpot, you quickly remember his comment and snatch it in your hands, slamming the door shut to Hongjoong as he finally lets a soft grin break out on his face. Letting his back come up from leaning against the door, Hongjoong nods his head, satisfied enough at that answer, as he walks silently down the road while opening his Uber app.
At least you’d give it some thought.
Okay, maybe now you’ve given it too much thought.
Sipping your fifth glass of wine of the night, you’re sitting, back hunched over with your knees tucked into your chest on the breakfast table chair, zoning out as your best friend Sophie continues barking at you and your inconsistent commitment.
“I don’t even understand why you’re considering going! Does the man realize what it takes to leave your own shop for a full week?” she fumes, adjusting her royal jelly sheet mask while cursing at your ex-husband for pressuring you into going to the family retreat.
“Not everyone can just pack their bags and go swimming at the cottage, Jesus Christ” she rolls her eyes.
“He didn’t pressure me,” you told her pouting. “He wants to do it for the kids” you mumbled looking down as you defended him.
You invited your best friend Sophie over to your apartment that evening for your weekly slumber party, a time you each looked forward to dedicating a bottle of wine and chardonnay over some gossip, spilling all the uneventful drama in your lives.
Perhaps you revealed too much drama to your best friend tonight.
“I don’t think I would mind going, to be honest” you hiccup, words slurring. “I haven’t had a vacation in so long, Sophie, and the girls really want to go! I would feel bad for leaving them with nothing to do this summer.” confessing through the alcohol.
Cheeks flushed, you sigh as you play with your silk robe mindlessly while Sophie shakes her head at you, one hand coming up to snap at you and bring you back to reality.
“Hello? Earth to Ms. Divorcee?” She sighs, rolling her eyes in frustration. “You said you wanted to set boundaries with him! To cut the line straight and keep your distance so you could get over your feelings for him! Show him who’s boss!”
“He said he’s willing to put his music projects on hold for us,” you muttered quietly, the thought making your heart weak as you smiled at the memory of Hongjoong teasing you about your flower pot. Your chest blossomed with warmth now.
Sophie sighs, shaking her head as she thinks just how differently you were feeling four wine glasses ago.
“Listen, honey, I’m just warning you in advance” she sips the golden liquid in her glass before placing it on the table.
“Take it from a girl who’s had three divorces. I mean look at me! I’m still somewhat young, I’ve got no kids, no responsibilities, filthily rich, and not once have I had to pay for my own divorce settlement fees!”
You nod mindlessly, eyes blinking softly under the bright kitchen lights.
“What you need is a provider, sweetheart,” she crooned, caressing your head.
“A guy who won’t leave you stressed and unimpressed like Hongjoong does.”
You continue mindlessly nodding your head at her words, ears perking up when you hear small footsteps come down the stairs.
“Hi mom, Hi aunt Sophie.” Eunbyeol greets, eyes glued to her iPad that Eunseo trails after from behind, whining how it was now her turn to play Super Mario.
“Hi girls,” Sophie replies like the cool, hot aunt she is, eyes shut as she’s concentrating on giving herself a collarbone massage right now.
“Hey sweetheart,” you mumbled, smiling at your daughters standing near the fridge getting a glass of water.
“Say, did your dad tell you guys anything about the cottage?” You blurt out loud, avoiding the look that Sophie gives you. Eunbyeol looks up from the glowing screen, ears perking in interest. “No, not much, why?”
Eunseo snatches the iPad from her twin, coming over to you. “Did Dad say we’re going?” She asks enthusiastically, eyes widening. Sophie is quick to assure them.
“Now of course not girls, your mother here was just-”
“Oh fuck it, why not?” you say confidentially, shining a bright smile. “Let’s go to the cottage!” You exclaimed in drunk excitement, all three girls staring at you with their jaws hanging at your sudden profanity as well as your final decision.
Oh, how dangerous the effects of a bottle of wine were.
Eunseo and Eunbyeol immediately embrace each other in a passionate hug, squealing in excitement that their plan actually worked. You and Hongjoong were now both convinced. “Oh my gosh, we’re going to go as a family!” They cried in happiness. You giggled at their joy, reciprocating their enthusiasm.
Sophie leans back in her seat defeated, shaking her head with pursed lips as she picks up the whole Chardonnay bottle and sips it.
“Oh whatever. . . This isn’t my problem anyways.”
When Hongjoong drops by the next morning to pick up Eunbyeol and Eunseo from your house for the weekend, he can’t lie but be a little heartbroken at the way his daughters ignore his kiss to them first thing. They instead, immediately shove the cottage advertising pamphlet in his face with victorious grins.
“See! We told you mom would say yes!”
“Say yes to what?” He pouts, avoiding the paper and obsessively trying to peck a kiss to each of his daughter's cheeks. The idea of going to the cottage almost slipped the busy man’s mind after almost a week of no news from you.
“What’s so important that you guys don’t even say hi to me anymore?” he sulks.
Eunseo giggles, fighting back her laughter when her dad tries to tickle her with his kisses.
“We’re going to the cottage!”
Hongjoong stills himself, leaning back to make sure he heard her correctly.
“We’re what?”
Eunbyeol, taking after her mother, has a cheeky expression on her face as she places her hands on her hips and sasses her father.
“Pack your bags and swimming shorts, daddy, we’re going on a family vacation!”
In perfect timing, you manage to stumble out your front door, coffee mug in hand and mid-yawn when you realize Hongjoong is already staring at you in shock.
“What?” you snap, still grumpy from your slight hangover. “You’ve never seen a woman wake up before?” You replied, asking your kids if they packed all their stuff.
The twins watch as their dad stands up from his crouched position.
“You’re going to go to the cottage?”
At Hongjoongs words you freeze, everything coming back to you all at once. The wine, the twins, the promises, it hits you like a moving truck.
“Well…”
“No take backs mom! You said it yourself last night that you were excited to go to the cottage!” One of the twins pointed out.
Hongjoong doesn’t take his eyes off of you.
“I-I did say that, didn’t I?” You chuckled sheepishly, toes curling at the rookie mistake you made in parenting 101: saying yes when you should’ve said no.
Your ex-husband quickly tells the kids to put their things in the trunk, promising he’ll be right with them after talking to you. As Hongjoong dashes up the stairs in his white polo golf shirt, you feel slightly exposed being in only your silk slip dress and robe.
“I didn’t realize you’d be here so early” you mumbled, looking down at your toes.
He ignores you. “So I’m guessing we’re going then?” He smirks, looking at you with an expression of undeniable cockiness and peaked interest.
You shrug nonchalantly. “Let’s surround the focus of this trip towards the kids” you remind him, straightening your back.
Hongjoong nods, agreeing with you wholeheartedly. “Of course, that was my intention from the beginning,” he smiles.
You swallow the lump in your throat, unnoticing his stare drop at your breasts perking up from the cool morning air. You jump in surprise as you hear the honking of the car.
“Come on, love birds! We gotta go back to dad’s to get our swimming stuff!” Eunbyeol cackles, leaning from the backseat into the driver's seat window. Eunseo already begins journaling in her hello kitty note book, an organized list of what she’ll need to bring to the cottage.
Hongjoong looks back at his daughters, before looking back at you with a smile.
“Let’s keep in touch about details, alright?”
You nod silently, gripping your mug. At the sound of your nextdoor neighbor coming out, Hongjoong contemplates for a moment before quickly leaning forward, shielding you from their view with his backside. Clearing his throat, Hongjoong nods his head to the inside of your house, leaning forward to whisper to you.
“Think, um, you should get inside, it’s getting cold,” he mutters, his dimples faintly showing. You glare up at him, “I’m going to say goodbye to my own daughters”. Still clueless to what he was referring to. He grins, shrugging his shoulders before looking at you.
“If you insist. Just thought you wouldn’t want your neighbor to see what I can see, would you?”
You gasp at his words, looking down at your chest to see what he means before wrapping your robe around you. You quickly waved goodbye to your girls before you shut the door in Hongjoong’s smug face.
It’s now become the second time you’ve done that.
Thankfully, the next time you see Hongjoong you’re wearing a much more appropriate outfit. In a white cotton blouse and casual jean shorts, your effortlessly chic vacation outfit was the only highlight today, considering the day you had been internally dreading for so long was finally here.
You tried to take deep breaths while scurrying all over your house and finishing some last minute packing. Reassuring yourself that a family getaway couldn’t kill you.
Right?
Reservations at the cottage were made over the phone last week, booking a house with the perfect lake side view, access to the forest trail and close proximity to the offered activities. It would only be a seven day stay, both in your respective rooms, (you clearly emphasized you and Hongjoong had to have separate ones) while the twins would lodge together. You had no intention of interacting with your husband alone together on this trip, apart from the quote on quote, ‘family bonding times’ you promised your daughters. And yet why were you here sweating nervously like a sinner in church?
“What a hot lady!” Eunbyeol wolf-whistles at your outfit when she walks through your bedroom doors. You jump at the sudden entrance, realizing Hongjoong was already here to pick you up with the girls.
A pair of black designer sunglasses slightly too big for her sat perched on her nose. Eunbyeol smiles before jumping onto your bed of clothes. You already know Hongjoong must’ve spoiled her and her sister with those, buying them a pair each.
“C’mon Byeol, off the bed” you quipped, packing your toothbrush as she reluctantly slugged off the covers.
Your suspicions of Hongjoong buying them designer items are correct when Eunseo walks in, classily perching her matching white ones on her head before chastising her sister's tasteless compliment.
“Elegant. She’s Elegant, Byeol. You don’t just go around wolf-whistling at people.” she rolls her eyes.
“You look very pretty by the way, mom”
You smiled, nevertheless pleased at both their compliments and thanking them before going back to doing a last minute check of your things.
Sun cream, clothes, makeup bag, swimsuit…
At the thought of your swimsuit you immediately blush, thinking back to how Sophie forced you to borrow her yellow bikini that left very little to the imagination. Despite your protests that you wouldn’t be needing it, she insisted.
Hongjoong is last to walk through your front doors, swinging his car keys around his index finger and calling to his three girls from the downstairs foyer of your apartment. The man is clearly excited for the trip, he can’t lie.
“Come on ladies, we’re gonna miss the chance to swim in that lake if we don't leave soon!”
Hongjoong is your typical dad, except for the fact that he does not mess with dad!fashion. The producer is dressed classily from top to bottom in a loose-fitting designer button up with a pair of reformed denim pants, his pearl earrings and gold piercings complementing his outfit perfectly.
Kim Hongjoong didn't play when it came to fashion. Even as a father.
“Coming!” You exclaimed, ushering your kids out of your bedroom and making your way down the stairs with your suitcase. Seeing that it would only be a week at the cottage, you tried to pack light, though you may have to reconsider that thought with the way you struggled to lift the case properly.
“Need some help?”
A strong hand comes to help you, immediately inhaling the scent of Hongjoong’s cologne as he brushes his knuckles near yours. “Here, I’ve got it” he assures, making you step back and admire your undeniably fine husband.
Ex-husband. You meant Ex-husband. Scratch out the fine as well.
You watch from behind as he struts out the foyer, smiling and joking playfully with his twin daughters, carrying your luggage out the door with them.
What was this trip doing to you?
Once you’re on route to the cottage resort and the GPS is set, the car is blissfully quiet, each and every one of you surprisingly at peace. Jittery excitement still lays deep in your daughters' minds as you overhear them talk about what they want to do first once they arrive.
Hongjoong’s 2000s soft rock and ballad playlist is playing quietly throughout the speakers right now, relishing in the music as luscious, green trees flash by you from the passenger window.
While Byeol and Eunseo distract each other on their own, Hongjoong turns to talk to you.
“I’m not going to lie, it’s been forever since I’ve been on a road trip” he smiles.
You copy him, feeling good in the moment. “Same, I don’t remember the last time I went to one.” you confessed, thinking only of all the times you had in the past when you were a child and as a teenager.
Even back to when you were a young college student, wide eyed and so innocent to the chaos of your first college retreat with Hongjoong. That was the summer you two began dating, and boy were you fools in love. You cautiously look to your husband driving, bringing up past memories.
“Do you remember that one college retreat we went on during second year?”
The corners of Hongjoong’s lips are already grinning upwards, smiling as he reciprocates your expression.
“Right, like I could forget that summer” he replies sarcastically, gripping the steering wheel.
It’s an easy memory to digest. A time when you were both so young, filled with nothing but dreams and passionate love for one another. Love so deep, that you remember the nights you’d spend locked up with Hongjoong under the sweaty bed sheets inside your cabin, blissfully making love until the sun would rise and he would finally kiss you to sleep. Perhaps, it was that summer when you realized you were going to marry and be with Kim Hongjoong forever someday.
Though it’s too bad, someday already passed.
“Do you remember when Seonghwa got so drunk he ended up confessing to Jieun in front of all the girl’s sleeping cabins?” Hongjoong snickers, relishing in the embarrassing memory his friend always hates him for bringing up. You laugh out loud, remembering the memory. “Oh my god, yes!” You turned to face him, shaking your head. “In nothing but his underwear, right?”
Hongjoong nodded, smiling with one hand on the steering wheel as he drove.
“Didn’t he end up jumping into the lake afterwards? With you having to go in and save him as well?” You share your laughter with one another, catching up on past memories as your twin daughters listened attentively in the back, reliving them with you together.
That's what makes the hour and half drive from the city into the wilderness feel so short, finally pulling into the graveled parking lot of the vast cottage resort. White suburban cottages lined along one another, a good amount of distance in between each for every family staying.
As Hongjoong parked the car, the view outside was so glorious you had to hold your breath. Glistening clear blue waves in the lake reflect the bright sunshine from above. A light breeze is present today with the way the willow and oak trees swayed gently.
“It’s beautiful” you gasped from as far as you got out of the car, stretching your upper body with eyes closed as you inhaled the fresh air.
Hongjoong stills his movements, shutting the door before replying with his gaze caught at your backside.
“Yeah, it is” he smiles.
Both of you turn around at a loud voice coming from behind. “We’re gonna explore the campsites and souvenir shops first!” Eunbyeol shouts as she runs away with her sister's hand in hers, towards the wooden cabin that's settled further away.
“What about lunch?” you call to them.
“We’re not hungry!”
Hongjoong tells them to be safe, and to stick around nearby. You smirked, helping him unload the trunk as you told him. “They’ll be fine. They’re probably too excited to even think right now” you giggled, bumping shoulders with him.
You feel the tension that was once so strong between you two fade slowly, walking up the wooden steps of your lodge and exchanging conversation with each other.
“Hey, I just want my babies to be safe” he admits, a grin on his face as he holds the cooler in his hands. You chuckle, shaking your head at his protectiveness.
“Here it is!” he exclaims, setting the suitcases in the front foyer as he opens the door. “Lodge number 1117”
The two story cottage is larger than it appears from the outside, having a modern yet rustic interior that you and Hongjoong admired. It had everything you would need, from a well designed kitchen area to a cozy living room space.
“It’s perfect, the kids will love it” you beam, looking at the hanging hammock chair in the corner of the living room and the gray stone fireplace. It fit perfectly for your family.
Hongjoong smiles, sunglasses perched on top of his head as he sets the luggage down near the kitchen. Walking up beside him, you help him unload the cooler and ice boxes first, settling into your new home for the next few days.
“I’m guessing you still drink?” you ask, looking in his direction as you unloaded the case of beer you saw him bring from the trunk.
He gestured to the booze. “C’mon, it wouldn’t be a vacation without it, would it?”
You wholeheartedly agreed, placing a few in the fridge before you shut it closed.
“Hopefully, this time we won’t end up shit faced like we did back in college” you laugh, turning to face him.
“I can already picture that time we got so drunk from that bottle of tequila my friend brought, we snuck out of the campsite and went to the forest and got lost.” you spoke, the memory a little foggy but nonetheless fresh in your mind.
Hongjoong smiles, listening as you speak.
“There wasn’t anything but trees and bushes in that forest!” You exclaimed, shaking your head. “What did we even do there?”
Hongjoong replies nonchalantly, folding the cardboard box in his hands.
“I’m pretty sure we fucked.”
You momentarily freeze at his words, before letting out a soft awkward laugh, causing him to look up.
“No we didn’t, Hongjoong” you immediately deny, not believing his words. But your brows began furrowing at the foggy memory, starting to realize you really couldn’t trust your alcohol tolerance, now as an adult and even back when you were a college student. Did you guys have sex? In a forest out of all places?
Hongjoong leans against the kitchen counter, across from you as he crosses his arms in front of his chest and smirks smugly.
“Nope, I distinctly remember it” he recalls, taking a step closer so he was now in your space.
“I held your hand in mind as we walked up that trail by the cliff. And gosh, were we horny that night, because I remember you complaining about all that dirt you got on your knees from giving me the greatest head i've ever experienced in my entire life-”
Slapping your hands over his mouth to stop him from going on, you blushed as you glared at him.
“Jesus christ,” you mumbled, rolling your eyes before confessing.
“I get it, we fucked.”
Suddenly, you and Hongjoong break out into giggles like varsity sweethearts again at the story. Though embarrassed and cringing internally from the way you acted as young adults, it was nice to share them together now. At the proximity in which you’re standing in, you can't help but stare at each other softly. A hand wraps around your waist, making your breath hitch as he pulls you closer.
“What are you doing?” you grin, watching him.
He looms over you, able to tell that something sits right at the tip of his tongue that he hesitantly decides to say. “I’m pretty sure,” he mutters, staring at your face and cautiously grazing the skin under your blouse. You feel your breathing speed up.
“I also held you like this in my arms as you were leaning against that tree” his grip gentle and immediately transporting you back to the scenery that night. His sharp tone contrasts his touch.
“Yknow, the one we fucked against?” he teases to you one more time.
The scent of burning campfire. A cold, midnight breeze. The feeling of the rough cedar tree against your back as Hongjoong thrusted inside you with every delirious snap of his hips, holding you close while he fucked you to oblivion with only the forest animals standing witness to your sinful actions. The film replays like a cheesy R-rated romance movie in your mind.
“Did you, now?” You gulp, looking up at him as you adjust to the foreign feeling of his touch on your hips.
“Yeah. I remember it all” he states, smirking down at you with an intense gaze.
The memory dies down when you catch yourself staring at his lips, arms finding their way around his neck as he dives down to whisper softly to you.
“Do you remember too?” He asks.
How he held you in his arms. How he whispered in your ear while you came around his cock, drool and traces of cum littering the corners of your mouth while Hongjoong didn’t care if you were stretching his flannel from how hard you were tugging at the material.
You nod. “I do,” you muttered, lashes fluttering as you felt as though your heart wouldn’t stop beating. “I remember you kissed me on the lips,” you confessed.
Perhaps you wanted him to do it again right now.
He looks in your eyes, searching for your approval that you desperately give, breath hitting each other's faces as he slowly leaned down to try and connect your lips. His chest is pressed against yours, and you begin to realize you haven’t shared the same breath like that in so long. You were so close to kissing right then and there.
If only you leaned in closer…
“We’re back!”
You push Hongjoong across the kitchen, shoving his hip painfully into the marble counter and ignoring his high-pitched groan of agony as you immediately look away to avoid suspicion, continuing to grab the beer from the icebox in front of you.
“Girls!” you exclaimed, voice wavering.
Of course, Eunbyeol and Eunseo walk in with matching postcards and goodies from the souvenir shop in their hands, their sunglasses perched on their heads as their eyes lit up with excitement. They were still oblivious to the fact that they almost caught their parents about to make out in the kitchen.
“Dad, this place is amazing!” Eunbyeol deadpans, telling her father. “They even have jet skiing on the other side of the lake! We gotta go now!”
Hongjoong clutches his hip, pursing his lips as he hides his expression of pain and surprise.
“Really? That's great sweetie”
Eunseo however, is quick to catch on.
“What were you guys doing?” she looks at you suspiciously. Her words hang in the air for a moment.
“Were you guys about to kis-”
Hongjoong and you frantically scurry to find a plausible excuse, shuffling awkwardly.
“I was helping your dad unload the cooler”
“I was helping your mom get something out of her eye”
Both girls stare at you meekly. Eunbyeol scrunches her nose. “Huh?”
Plastering on a fake smile, you briskly leaped over the luggage nearby, ushering them upstairs before they had the chance to ask anymore questions.
“I think it’s time to unpack your things.” you watched their eyebrows quirk at the way you pushed them out the kitchen.
“We can do it on our own, mom! It’s really no big d-”
You clamp Eunbyeol’s mouth shut with your hand, blushing profusely as you walk away with them.
Hongjoong stands there alone in the kitchen, rubbing his hip and wondering what the hell just almost happened.
The next few days, you and Hongjoong don’t discuss the incident between you two. Rather, the beginning of the trip after that event has become a painful performance trying your best to be eerily polite yet distant to each other in front of your children, as if that would make you forget the fact that you two almost kissed in the kitchen.
“Could you pass the sunscreen, honey?” Hongjoong would say awkwardly, turning his back to flash you a cheery smile on the lake deck as Eunbyeol and Eunseo watched you interact while floating in the cool, summer waters.
You passed the bottle to your ex-husband while maintaining awkward distance. “Of course, darling!”
“Thanks honey!”
“No problem sweetheart!”
This resulted in Eunbyeol and Eunseo looking at their parents in horror, the youngest twin muttering under her breath as they discussed an urgent change of plans.
“We have to get them to stop being weird.”
Apart from that, the ‘family bonding time’ promise to your daughters was maintained, and each day was an adventure for all of you in terms of what you would do together next. An accumulation of forest trekking, water-skiing and outdoors barbeques on the patio of your cottage made everyday feel more and more special for your girls, seeing how they relished in having both their parents with them at the same place and time. It became moments of peace and resolution that eventually became special for you and Hongjoong too.
“I hope we stay here forever,” Eunseo blurted out one evening after a blissful day near the lakeshore, watching as the sun began to go down. She was busy licking the sticky sides of her melting ice cream cone in one hand, the other one held in yours.
Hongjoong and Eunbyeol were a few feet ahead, laughing loudly and holding hands as they compared their fruit popsicles with one another to see whose was bigger.
“You and Byeol would eventually get sick of going to the lake all the time” You smiled, the corners of your mouth turning up before her next words made the strings of your heart tug.
“Sure, but at least you and dad could be together with us too.”
You watched as she ran up to her sister and dad, joining in on their fun as she began boasting that her ice cream was better than theirs. Hongjoong’s smile is the biggest you’ve ever seen it to be, looking down at his girls with a golden tan from the past few days spent outside, and hair slightly damp from swimming.
Any person could tell the love in his eyes was as pure a father’s love for his girls could be.
Her words stuck with you until that very night, where after dinner, board games, and much pacing back and forth in your own room before getting into bed, you decided to cautiously approach Hongjoong’s room on the opposite side of the second floor.
Bare feet padded across the wooden floors as you peeked through the sliver of the open door.
He's wearing an oversized sleep tee and blue pajama pants, getting in some nighttime reading before bed. His glasses are perched on his nose, intently reading his paperback novel. He looks as domestic as a husband gets.
At the sound of your steps though, he sits up from his relaxed state on his bed, one arm that was supporting his head coming out as the other hand settles the book down on his abdomen. He looks surprised to see you.
“Hi” he states, looking at you.
“Hey”
Hongjoong’s expression immediately softened at your figure, watching as you shuffled awkwardly in front of him. The room is quiet.
“Can I come in?”
“Of course,” He nods, setting his bookmark in the spine of the cover and turning his attention to you, offering you to take a seat on his linen covers. You see his polaroid camera with photos taken of Eunbyeol and Eunseo perched on a desk nearby.
You don’t see the ones he secretly took of you, as those are in his drawers.
“Don’t tell me you can’t sleep by yourself” he gently teases before watching as your smile doesn't reach the ends of your eyes. You wrap your silk robe closer to your body, feeling sort of vulnerable.
“How do you like the resort so far?” He asks, watching as you played with your fingers absentmindedly. “Is the room okay?”
“It’s wonderful Hongjoong, better than I could ever have hoped for.” You spoke up, telling the truth.
It’s hard to arrange your thoughts in your head when it’s just the two of you in his room. The kids were already fast asleep. Now was your chance to just tell him how you felt. Why were you hesitating so much?
“Hey, look at me.” Hongjoong’s soft voice calls out to you, a protective hand coming out to caress the back of your head in habit. He can tell you want to say something, and the gesture makes you emotional, remembering how he always used to do that to ease your nerves when you were younger.
“What’s wrong? Am I making things uncomfortable on the trip?” he worries about the boundaries you established with him at the beginning, watching as your lip begins to quiver and the emotions suddenly overcome you.
“I just wanted to tell you I’m sorry.” you sniffled, tears forming near the brim of your eyes as you looked up at the father of your children.
Hongjoong’s eyes widened, shifting through the covers over to you. “Woah, hey, shh that’s alright I got you” he coos, immediately going into dad mode and embracing you in his arms, letting your head rest against his chest.
The action is natural, no longer foreign or weird, and you silently thank him for leaving reassuring circles on your back. Husband or not, Hongjoong would always be your best friend first. You had forgotten how much you missed this comforting side to him.
“Tell me what you’re sorry about” he states, chest tightening at your wet cheeks before he slowly raises your chin to look him in the eyes.
“For being mean to you for so long” you sniffle, a weakened state of emotional guilt eating away at you. You let him watch you carefully.
“I’ve been thinking about how happy the girls have been during this trip. A-And it kills me that we’ve been fighting for the past seven years, and that they’ve grown up seeing such bad parts of ourselves, of my own self” you ramble, confessing how you felt.
You look up. “They’re happy because we’re together Joong. Because we’re not fighting or avoiding each other like we used to do before.”
He watches as you look up at him with tears forming in your eyes.
“You’re such a good dad. And I realized you deserve to hear that.”
At the sounds of more sniffles, Hongjoong finally speaks, smiling as he brushes stray hair from your face.
“I wouldn’t want anyone else but you to be the mother of our children, I hope you know that”
His truthfulness throws you off guard.
“I’m sorry too” he sighs, letting you sit up straight and look him in the eyes properly. “I haven’t been the best partner either, baby. We were both mean to each other.” he says, brushing a tear away from your face.
“I’m pretty sure you’ve thrown a hair dryer at me once before as well” he attempts to make you laugh, affection blooming in his chest when he sees he succeeds, wiping your tears.
“But I already knew how you felt, sweetheart. I always know” he smiles, eyes mirroring a weak ache in his heart.
“Married or not, we were once friends. And now we’re family” His voice turns deep, strong and dependable like the father he’s become.
“We can start over” you tell him, smiling as he folds his hands over your palm. “We can always do better from now and going forward. For ourselves, and for Eunseo and Eunbyeol.”
Hongjoong nods, hesitantly for a split second before he leans over to press a soft kiss to your cheek, showing a gesture of affection that you longed for so long.
You shut your eyes, the kiss making your heart flutter.
“Friends again?” He whispers, though silently wanting something more.
You sighed, pulling him in closer to embrace in a hug. “Friends” you nodded while inhaling his comforting scent.
The next morning, and for the rest of the remaining trip onwards, you and Hongjoong’s relationship dynamics did the equivalent of a 180 degree turn.
It’s hard to believe you two really just wanted to be ‘friends’
Eunbyeol and Eunseo could tell by the way you talked to each other more, noticing you share more secret glances and fleeting touches that were innocent to the eye, but concealing a longing that you both tried to hide. You knew you couldn’t get carried away. You and Hongjoong were simply resolving a rough patch in your parenting. Not getting back together in a relationship.
But after spending more time together while Eunbyeol and Eunseo became occupied on their own, it was hard keeping the interactions to a justified amount. Long walks in the forest, evenings spent cooking together, even cuddling together on the couch during family movie night. Thinking your kids were too busy watching the vintage Disney movie play on screen, when in fact, the real love story they were more invested in was happening right in front of their eyes, watching their parents falling in love again.
This led to the last event in their plan that they hoped would finally seal the deal.
On Saturday night, the last night of your trip before you had to go back to the city, you and Hongjoong are surprised to find mini invitations left on your beds, scribbled in glitter pen and cursive handwriting reading out the following:
Gourmet Dinner Date for 2
Time: 7:30 pm
Location: Outdoor patio
Dress code: Formal and Classy
You and your husband chuckled at the cards left on your beds, suddenly finding a twin each by your side and ushering you to get ready.
“Do you and your sister even know how to cook dinner, Eunbyeol?” You questioned as your daughter rushed to push you into your walk-in closet, forcing you to get ready.
She huffs, placing her hands on her hips looking offended.
“At least my cooking skills don’t take after Dad’s, mom.” She mumbled, choosing your shoes for you. “Have some trust in a girl!”
Meanwhile, Hongjoong gets pampered by Eunseo in the other room, though in reality, her blunt critiques on her dads fashion are bruising his pride at the moment.
“Dad, you have many normal clothes to wear. You have to chill with the ripped baggy jeans.” she demands, trudging through his closet to find something formal for him to wear.
He begins to protest but his daughter shakes her head. “You’re supposed to look good for mom!” she huffs, searching on her own. At Eunseo’s words, the man starts to slightly worry, scratching the back of his head.
“You and Byeol are gonna join too, right?”
She stops for a second, looking back to her father as she avoids the question and instead retorts back.
“It’s just a date, Dad. Relax”
Back to what was happening in the other room at the end of the hallway, you huffed in frustration when you walked back into your closet after Byeol rejected another one of your outfits for the dinner date.
“I have nothing else to wear, sweetie, these are all the clothes I have.” you came to terms with a hand coming to your forehead after having searched in despair.
The ten year old shakes her head before pushing you out of the way and digging deep into your suitcase. She reveals a delicate piece of material you didn’t even realize you packed.
“We got some help from Aunt Sophie and Uncle Hwa to pack you guys clothes that you could wear for a special occasion.” she wiggles her eyebrows, a smug grin on her face as you gap in shock.
You inspect the dress, lips parting in disbelief as you feel the material.
“I haven’t worn this since I was in college.” You uttered softly to yourself.
At one longing look of the short dress, you shake your head, walking back into the closet to find something else. “I-I can’t wear this Byeol, what would your dad think?“ you asked nervously.
“Dad said he thinks your boobs looked hot in this dress so Aunt Sophie and I picked it specially” she looks up at you, proud of what she just said.
You whip your head around, mouth hanging open in shock.
“Byeol! Where did you hear that from?”
She sighs. “Dad had one too many drinks this one time and started talking about you guys back in college” she explained before shoving the infamous black dress in your hands.
“Talked a lot about how pretty you were,” she draws out her words in a teasing voice. You curse your husband for his mistake.
You bite your lip as you stare down at the fabric in your hands.
It was undeniable. You knew you looked amazing in this dress. You could testify from the amount of times Hongjoong ripped it off of you after countless night out’s filled with sexual tension and playful flirting. For god's sake, Eunbyeol and Eunseo could’ve almost had another sibling thanks to that dress.
“Fine.” you muttered bashfully, turning away as you walked into the closet to change.
“But I’m just gonna try it on.”
Thirty minutes, one mental breakdown and too many outfit changes to count later, you walk down the stairs wearing the dress Eunbyeol had successfully persuaded you to wear.
What do you know, the kid was right. Your boobs looked amazing in that dress.
Not just your boobs, your whole body looked incredible with its strong curves and the beautiful fill it gave to the dress, making it slightly tighter than when you wore it as a twenty year old, but still all the more mature and sophisticated. You really did look hot.
Eunbyeol rushes down the stairs before you, catching up with her sister to inspect her job on their fathers preparation.
“Well?” She says expectedly, looking at her dad. “Let’s take a look!”
He sports a simple yet timeless white collar dress shirt, the first few buttons undone as he wears a form fitting black dress-vest that accentuates his waist, dress pants paired to go along with it. Though simple, his silver rings pulled the outfit together, making him just as good looking and sophisticated as you were.
Hongjoong’s back faces towards your front, watching as the man nervously shuffles his hands in his pockets.
“How do I look guys?” He gulps, adjusting his collar and sweeping his blond hair back.
Eunseo rolls her eyes, a grin on her proud little face. “Do you even have to ask, dad?” She’s more than confident in the outfit she and Seonghwa coordinated together.
He chuckles, shaking his head as he nervously tells them.
“I want to look good for your mom, you know what I mean? She's a difficult woman to impress sometimes.”
“I’m difficult?” You tease, walking down the last few steps of the stairs.
The man turns his head around, losing his breath at the sight of you standing there in front of him, wearing that dress that he hadn’t seen you wear for so long, looking breathtaking in every possible way.
“Hi” you grinned softly, feeling sort of shy.
The way you fit in that dress made an insatiable hunger fuel inside Hongjoongs chest, eyes gazing at the way you strutted over in the black, lace covered material with your hair tied back and glossed lips turned upwards as your dimples showed. He breaks from his admiration when you quirk a brow at him, making the man almost fall to his knees and stutter uncontrollably.
“I-I No I didn’t mean that-“
You giggle as you bravely take Hongjoongs hands in your own, shutting him up as you turn to your daughters standing in front of you, starstruck at your aura.
“Outside, right?” you winked at them.
“Right this way!” Eunseo enthusiastically leads you out back to the outdoor patio, a perfect view of the garden and lakeside coming into effect. Hongjoong slips his hand from yours, and slides it across your waist, pulling you into his side.
“My parents are too cool” Eunbyeol sighs under her breath, watching from behind in awe.
Your ex-husband makes you swoon when he leans in to whisper softly. “You look breathtaking, sweetheart.” feeling an immense sense of pride at how lucky he was to make you the mother of his children.
You blush, turning to him to whisper playfully back.
“Not bad yourself.”
You both look forward when you come to a stop at the patio steps, sheer amazement at the full preparation your daughters did for this event. Fairy lights were hung around the area, a table with two chairs on either side placed with a white table cloth and a bouquet of freshly hand picked flowers from the forest, battery powered candles that were sold at the souvenir shop lit in the middle and glowing softly.
Eunbyeol dashes to the door when it rings, making you and Hongjoong furrow your brows.
“Is someone here?” he asks, watching Eunseo fold a napkin over her arm like the pro waiter she was. The other one walks out, an oily fast food paper bag in her hands as she smiles. “Dinner is served!”
“Turns out that diner 15 minutes away also delivers!” She chuckled, helping her sister plate the two cheeseburgers, fries, and vanilla and strawberry milkshakes.
You and Hongjoong continue to watch in stunned amazement as the girls prepare the not exactly gourmet(?) but still impressive meal in front of you, their small hands working swiftly.
“You guys prepared all of this?” You asked, getting a little emotional. They grin proudly, nodding their heads. “We called the place earlier and planned it all by ourselves!”
You pressed a kiss to each of their soft cheeks, thanking them both as Hongjoong did the same.
“What did I do to get so lucky with my girls?” he smiles, ruffling their heads.
“What about you guys?” You asked, watching as they slowly backed away to give you two some privacy.
“Natalie and her mom invited us over for dinner and a sleepover tonight at her cottage,” Eunbyeol smiles. At the mention of their newly made friend that they had gotten close to over the week, Hongjoong looks at you then back at them.
“What? But- ”
She cuts him off, rolling her eyes. “Her mom said it’s totally fine with her. She’s only two cottages down, and she’ll make sure we’re back in time again for tomorrow when we leave!”
The two girls smile in excitement, though the both of you have your parental instincts kick in.
“Please?” they begged, wanting you to let them go so that they could do this for you guys as much as they wanted to do it for themselves. “She’s waiting for us now!”
Hongjoong feels guilty. “C’mon, you guys should still join us!”
Eunseo immediately shakes her head, declining the offer.
“Tonight is all about you guys. We don’t want to intrude” she chuckles, bumping shoulders with her sister who chips in.
“We’ll text you guys in the middle to let you know everything’s good of course”
You and Hongjoong smile, a feeling of immense proudness overwhelming you from seeing your daughters act so grown up. There wasn’t anything else you felt grateful for more.
“Thank you girls.” you muttered softly, watching as they flashed you a wink before hurrying out through the backyard door.
“Don’t get all kissy in the backyard!” Eunbyeol teases, making cheesy smooching sounds with the back of her hand as her sister rolls her eyes and shoves her out.
Before you know it, you’re left standing with just the sound of smooth jazz playing on the patio speakers and the buzzing of the summer cicadas.
“She takes after you, I hope you know that” You told Hongjoong softly.
He chuckles, “Not as much as you.” He gestures to the table. “Shall we?”
And that’s how the next few hours seem to pass by without even realizing.
You see, there was a reason why you fell in love with the man sitting in front of you, and you’re just beginning to remember it now. Being with Hongjoong felt as if the moment was everlasting, and you could testify that from the amount of laughter and deep conversation that was shared over dinner, bringing you to sit on that patio until the sun had set. Every so often you’d smile again at the thought of the twins preparing this all for you.
“I don’t remember the last time I’ve been on a date like this” You blurted out after laughing about something, taking a sip of your strawberry milkshake through a straw.
“Oh, so we’re going on dates now, are we?” Hongjoong grins, making you roll your eyes at him.
You lean forward on the table cloth, watching as a glimmer passes through your husband’s eyes while he sits back in his chair, cocking his head to the side as he clears his voice.
“But you’ve gone on dates after we split, haven’t you?” he asks, leaning forward in interest now, letting his chin rest on his palm.
You shook your head slowly.
“Nope. Not since signing those papers” you revealed.
Hongjoong furrows his brows in surprise. “And why’s that?”
You suddenly didn’t have an answer. “I-I don’t know, I just…” You began, watching how he looked at you with an unreadable expression. You smiled, looking down and suddenly feeling embarrassed.
“I guess I was too focused on running the bridal shop, I couldn’t find the time to.” You use as a cliche excuse.
“Bullshit” he retorts back immediately.
“It’s true!” You protested, throwing a fry at him that he dodges, landing on his finished plate.
“You always did say back when we were younger that you wanted to be a designer. And look at you now” he admires, letting the candle lights shine a youthful glow to your face.
“You always said you wanted to become a music producer and write your own songs.” you reciprocated, smiling as you soaked in the presence of one another. “And here you are now.”
You think for a moment before asking the same question.
“How about you?”
Hongjoong silently shakes his head as his answer, though silently thinking about something else. The music changes to some old Billy Joel song in the back. You don’t realize it, but Hongjoong smiles to himself when he realizes the girls added it to the playlist. Of course they had to, it was one of the songs you played at your wedding.
“What were we thinking when we got married like that?” You asked out loud, looking at how far you’d both come. You definitely skipped some of the order of the stages of a normal relationship.
“I mean, we had no money, no prospects. Hell, we didn’t even have a car, Hongjoong!” you realized.
Your husband laughs, sitting straight and letting some skin show through his unbuttoned collar.
“We were young” he justifies.
“Yeah, and stupid too,” you pointed out, feeling the summer breeze pass by. It felt good to sit here like this with him.
You wondered, could sitting here like this with Hongjoong be a regular thing? After this trip, would you be able to walk back into each other’s lives again like this?
As both parents and lovers?
Hongjoong brings up something you wouldn’t have expected him to.
“Do you remember when we first found out about Eunseo and Eunbyeol?” he questioned softly, looking at you.
You blink, taken aback. Suddenly you’re back in your college dorm washroom, sobs wracking through your body as Hongjoong who had only just sent his first few mixtapes to recording stations and companies nearby, pulled you close into his chest, eyeing the two lines left on the counter while he caressed your back. Only twenty years old and figuring out what you wanted to do with your lives, you were suddenly stuck in a sudden situation that had made you feel like your dreams would have been given up on completely.
“I do,” you told him, pulling yourself from the memory.
“I remember because in that moment I felt like the whole world was caving in”. You laughed, though it wasn’t fully cheerful.
“I don’t regret it, though” Hongjoong replies after some thought, gazing at you with truth in his eyes.
You shook your head. “Of course. Neither do I.”
It was a blessing to have two beautiful daughters as the product of your love.
“I don’t regret you either.” Hongjoong states.
You lock gazes, unable to take your eyes off of his face.
“I loved you when I first met you and I still loved you when we divorced,” he says all at once, making your breath hitch and heart waver.
“Don’t say that.” you tell him, looking away and suddenly reminding yourself you’re still divorced from the man sitting in front of you.
How could he still love you after all this time? How could you feel the same about him?
Hongjoong continues, shaking his head as he bites back the lodge in his throat and makes up his mind. He has to tell you.
“Truthfully, I don’t think I’ll ever stop loving you.”
Don’t do this to me you begged silently.
“I’ve hurt you just as much as you’ve hurt me.” He swallows, thinking back to the times you already knew he was referring to. The times where you fought to the point where there wasn’t even anything worth fighting for anymore.
“But you have given me the greatest gifts of my life.” He smiles, holding his tears back.
“And for that I will always love you.”
You push your seat from the table, suddenly feeling overwhelmed and wanting to avoid him.
“I can’t do this anymore.” you dejected, walking away from the patio and from Hongjoong.
There wasn’t anything else you could fake anymore. You couldn’t bear to hear the man you once loved, possibly even still love, say these things like he had a dagger lodged in his heart. Didn’t he know he was only going to do the same to you?
Hongjoong is quick to catch up, holding onto your wrist and turning you around, that your back collides with the nearest wall inside, pressing your fronts together and closing the distance.
“Why do you always run away from me? From the possibility of us?” He exclaimed, voice breaking. His heart crushed at the way you turned your head, hot tears already clouding your vision.
“Because ‘us’ can’t happen again, Hongjoong!” You cried, staring up at the man you once promised your life to.
“Don’t you get it? Us going on this trip isn’t a sign to get back together. What would we do seven years after breaking up?”
“We could do it” He states firmly, staring you down, both your chests heaving.
You bite your tears back again. “No we couldn’t, honey. We would be pretending to think we solved our marriage. What would we do about our daughters? After putting them through our constant fighting— ”
He slams his lips to your own, shutting you up as you painfully resist his touch. Your hands came up to push him away, but at the sudden gesture, you’re already giving in and sobbing softly, letting him hold you for just one last time.
Your lips mold so perfectly, it almost hurts how much you missed this feeling. To have him slot his arms around your waist, pull you in close, and cherish you. You almost forgot this feeling.
He pulls away softly, watching your lashes flutter, pleading to you for a chance as he leans closer, making your breath hitch.
“We could be together as a family again,” he states firmly, your name leaving his lips in a desperate plea. “We never know if we try—”
You drown out his words, looking up with tears falling as you cut him off.
“Seven years ago I gave you those papers to sign, thinking that you would’ve chased after me,”
Hongjoong holds his breath, watching as the next words stumble from your mouth.
“I realize now, how stupid I was to think that.”
“I didn’t know you wanted me to chase you”
Shoving his chest away while mustering the last of your strength you uttered. “Of course I wanted you to chase me.” You let go of his hands. “It’s too late either way”, walking away from the defeated man.
Hongjoong stands alone near the patio entrance, watching his tears fall to the wooden floorboards. Holding the ring he had kept hidden in his trouser pocket, he plays with it in his fingers, silently wishing he had given it to you sooner.
It rains the next morning on your departure back to the city. Perfect, considering it reflects the sudden storm of utter depression that falls upon your family. Long gone are the cheerful giggles and longing stares that were shared between you and Hongjoong during the ride to the cottage.
There was no room for that, not after last night.
Eunbyeol and Eunseo sat slumped in the backseat, rain hitting the roof of the car as they mindlessly played on their cell phones. Really, they were peeking from behind every so often and watching their parents sit in the front seat with tension so thick, you could’ve cut it with a knife.
What had they done wrong? They planned the trip, the activities, the dinner— it was all perfect. And yet why were you still fighting with each other?
These questions racked in their brains, baffled to have witnessed the sight of their parents refusing to talk to each other after walking back from their friends' sleepover.
Eunbyeol and Eunseo felt as useful as matchmakers without a couple, feeling their efforts all gone down the drain.
At the sudden ring of your cell phone, you pick up, answering at the voice of your assistant.
“I’m driving back up right now”
Hongjoong continues focusing on the road, the occasional wiping of rain from the windshield wipers on the front window.
“Yes. That’s okay, I'll take care of it.” You muttered, glancing at the rear view mirror for a moment. Your twin daughters immediately sigh, having an idea of what to expect when you say those familiar words.
“Thanks for letting me know.”
You hang up the phone,
“One of us isn’t going with you, are we?” Eunseo asks, making you look back at her with a sigh.
“No, you’re not” You confess, apologetic. ‘I’m sorry honey. I really am.”
You look back facing the front, swallowing as you told Hongjoong.
“You’ll have to drop me off at the studio. Some things aren’t working out with the client so they need me to come in and take care of it.”
He nods, unphased as he continues to look straight.
“Will you be fine with the girls?” You asked carefully, watching them as they were slumped in the backseat.
Hongjoong grips the wheel before turning to you.
“I‘ll be fine. Don’t worry about it” sending a small smile, though it doesn’t fully reach his eyes.
The twins thank god that at least neither of them had to choose to go back home with either parent.
They would’ve hated that more.
After barely being able to depart and say goodbye to your daughters in front of your studio, holding them close for a warm embrace and thanking them for an unforgettable weekend, Hongjoong drives off with his daughters, an empty feeling cascading his thoughts. He puts on a smile still, trying to cheer up his girls.
“What do you want to do first when we go home? Want to unpack and then eat? We can eat and then unpack. Or we could- ”
Eunseo crosses her arms, having been fed up for far too long.
“Dad, you must be out of your mind.”
Hongjoong stills, furrowing his brows and peeking at the first born who crosses her arms, holding an attitude.
“Eunseo, what are you- ”
“You’re telling me you and Mom just spent a whole entire week together at the cottage, had the best time of your lives since separating with one another, and now you’re just going to go back to not speaking or talking to each other again?”
Hongjoong blinks at his daughter’s sudden outburst, already making a turn into the driveway of his house.
Eunbyeol now reciprocates her twin, looking at her dad as she slouches beside him, coming near the front seat area.
“She’s got a point dad. Do you really just not love mom anymore?” She worries, looking up at him genuinely concerned.
Hongjoong doesn’t know how to answer these sudden questions right now, stuttering to reply.
“Me and your mother are fine!” He lies, trying to reassure them. “That trip wasn’t just for us, it was also for you two to enjoy— ”
Eunseo asks the million dollar question.
“If you still love Mom, why are you letting her go a second time?”
With the engine turned off, it's gone silent. Two pairs of eyes staring at their father, awaiting his response.
“Well? Are you going to chase after her or not?!” Eunbyeol groans, her fathers lack of response making her pull her hair.
They were right. How could he have made the same stupid mistake twice?
Hongjoong struggles to put the keys back in the engine, telling them to put their seat belts back on. Their eyes begin to glow with hope.
“Do you girls mind staying at your uncle’s for a bit?” He asks hurriedly, punching into his cell phone to call his brother for a favor as he pulls out of the driveway. Eunbyeol squeals, hands clamping over her mouth as her sister speaks on behalf of them both.
“Dad, if you don’t drop us off and get your butt over to mom’s right away, I’m gonna report you to child services.” she threatens, watching as he steps on the accelerator, heart pumping so fast as he smiles through the rear view mirror.
You sighed, holding up your cellphone to your ear.
“Call me once she approves the design then,” you told your assistant through the receiver, one hand looking over the sheets of paper, highlighting the changes to the new blueprint.
“Alright then, bye.”
After hanging up the phone, you rubbed your temples, head pounding as you tucked the files back into the folder.
The clock in your studio showed the hands about to reach seven pm. A few hours had already passed since coming back from your trip to the cottage, trying to forget everything by burying your focus into the new dress prints a client of yours requested, remodeling them after the original was rejected.
Fingers worked away swiftly, comparing textiles and fabrics as you looked at the piles of papers and messy sticky notes in front of you. But yet the gears in your mind seemed to churn achingly slow, sighing as you repeatedly told yourself the same thing.
Just focus on the dress, focus on the dress, focus on the dress.
Don’t think about him.
The task is impossible. Your mind can’t help but slip back to what your relationship has become with Hongjoong, and what you were going to do now that those seven days were over. For so long you had deprived yourself from indulging in your love life, prioritizing taking care of Eunseo and Eunbyeol while juggling your job as a designer. Had you been doing it all wrong?
Hongjoong’s words repeat in your head like a broken record player.
I will always love you
Lies. That promise couldn’t be kept. Your divorce was a clear outcome of it. You and Hongjoong were two people not meant for one another. You were too different, all you would do is hurt one another, make life an unbearable living hell—
And yet you missed him. You missed Hongjoong so much.
What was fucking keeping you from loving him? Was it your stubbornness? Was it really the fact that he didn’t chase after you? Or was it none of that and just your own self being stupid?
The front door of the studio opens, pulling you from your thoughts as you got back to the sketches. You called up from your desk as you worked quietly.
“The studios closed for the- ”
Heavy breathing. The man who just walked in catches his breath from dashing out of his car and up the three flights of stairs, driving through almost an hour of traffic in pouring rain to be here in this moment with you.
“Hongjoong?”
He’s drenched, making a mess on the floor of the studio as the droplets fall softly one by one.
Suddenly he's striding over to where you’re sitting in long steps before slamming his lips against yours. The kiss throws you off guard, the shock of his cold hands cradling your face makes you close the gap unknowingly.
Linking your arms around his neck while kissing back passionately, you let your hands rest on his shoulders, pulling back for air as you panted heavily, catching your breaths and looking at each other with pure love and lust.
“Why are you here?” you asked, feeling dumb because your heart already knew the answer. His hands wrap around your waist, desperate as if you would leave him again.
But he’s just so fucking tired of that now. He just wants to love you now.
“I lost you once.” He breathes, eyes watering.
“I’m not going to lose you again”.
Suddenly, everything that kept you from being with each other is thrown away.
That hate, that fear, everything is gone because you realize you still needed each other. You’re still the same twenty year old couple standing in that dorm washroom, holding each other close and knowing it’ll be okay because at least you had each other.
You grasp onto his damp shirt, pulling him down with such force that your lips meet again, taking charge as you finally allowed him to have you.
“You’re a fucking idiot” you whined between kisses, curses escaping your lips when he softly bites the flesh of your neck to test the waters. “I hope you know that”
He agrees wholeheartedly, nodding as if he was already getting pussydrunk.
“I’m an idiot” he mumbles to himself, letting it escape his lips like a mantra. Well, he was stupid enough to only chase after you this late, so if his wife told him he was an idiot, then so he was.
“Let me prove how much I love you,” a hand comes to graze near the collar of your shirt.
You gasped, watching as Hongjoong lifted you from your seat and rutted his hips against your core pathetically, your ass digging into the edge of the table.
“Here?” Your eyes widened, watching his expression turn dark. He presses kisses on your collarbone, making your hands grasp the wood for support. “Hongjoong wait,” you exhaled in a deep breath, heart beating against your chest.
But he doesn’t give a shit. He’s tired of waiting.
“It’s been too fucking long” he protests, ripping your top off. You’re dizzy from how abruptly he’s stripping you, latching onto his shoulders for support as you wobble from him unzipping your jeans and pushing them down, exposing you in nothing but your underwear and bra.
And like the good little whore you are, you immediately spread your legs, letting Hongjoong get a view of the embarrassingly wet patch leaking through your panties as he’s crouched down to let you step out of the denim near your ankles.
Holy fucking shit
You stand bashfully, toes curling from how exposed and vulnerable you were being the only one naked.
“Please?” you asked nicely, letting your foot rest on his shoulder as your pussy was now on full display for him.
You don’t have time to even finish the last word before Hongjoong dives in, lapping at your soaking cunt and humming in pure ecstasy at the taste. The muffled vibrations make you throw your head back, tugging on his locks to shove his face further.
Hongjoong’s hands press into your thighs that cage his head in, leaving a grip that you guarantee with littering the flesh with red splotchy bruises. Did you mind? Not at all.
When his tongue pokes at the gummy flesh of your walls, you let out a full moan, echoing throughout the studio as the air begins to smell like sex.
“Right there, yes” you urged him, leg beginning to shake from how weak it was getting.
He's so invested, you fear he might suffocate any longer if he doesn’t pull back for air. So you grasp his head, pushing him away from his meal while you both gasped lightly.
You watch him wipe his slick covered chin with the back of his hand, not breaking eye contact as he stares.
“You were just begging to be fucked for all these years, weren’t you sweetheart?” He teases.
Though you wanted him to lap at your juices until you came, you knew you needed to still feel his cock inside after so long.
Your fingers played with the hem of your underwear, smiling back at your husband.
“And you were just begging to get a taste of this pussy, weren’t you, Joong?” wiping that smug grin off his face.
”Lay down for me” he demands, getting up so that one hand finds its way to the back of your bra to unclasp it. The other clears half your desk covered in wedding dress blueprints and sketches, making sure nothing would make you uncomfortable before he fucked you on that mahogany surface so all you’d remember would be his name.
And people said romance was dead.
When the bra slides off and your bare back hits your desk, you suddenly realize what Hongjoong’s intention was when he ordered you to do that.
Soft mounds spill out as your breasts take their natural form, giving Hongjoong the perfect view of your tits. Pervert.
He immediately latches his tongue on a nipple, taking his hand and playing with the other, twisting painfully.
A cry escapes your lips, parting them open as you let him play with them as much as he wanted to. He smiles against the motherfuckers, knowing that shut you up perfectly.
“Are you ready for me to fuck you now?”
“Please, Joong, I need you” you whined, submitting yourself to your husband. He already knows you’re in need of one last kiss, coming up to give his wife what she wants by slotting his lips against yours again, this time much harsher.
“Tell me so that I treat you good, baby” he mumbles, pulling back and making you clench your thighs together. He undoes his shirt in the meantime, unbuckling his belt and pressing a sweet kiss to your cheek when you sobbed.
“Fuck me, please”
His fingers slide your panties to the side to press his aching tip to your wet core.
“Like this?” He teases.
“Inside, Hongjoong” you emphasized, meaning what you said with the way your nails dug into a pile of papers nearby. Biting your lip from how sensitive and needy your cunt was.
“I know, I know,” he murmured, smiling to himself after messing with you.
“I just missed this pretty cunt” before in one strong thrust, Hongjoong’s bulging tip enters inside your walls, giving you a stretch you forgot how much you loved. You whined softly.
“Shit” he curses, relishing how the buildup finally led to this moment.
The man is ravenous, but he’s genuinely trying his best to ease the painful stretch as you adjust to his thickness, nipping your neck in a trail of hickeys and love bites posessively.
With every thrust he makes, you arch your back, pencils and papers shuffling near by you.
“Fucking look at my wife” he admires proudly, watching the woman he loves bounce her tits at every thrust of his cock.
“S’too much” you caved in, shaking your head at the stimulation.
You claw at his arms, head turning to the side as your eyes roll back from pleasure.
“I know, mama, I know”
He grabs a tit in his left hand, the right one coming down to play with your clit, pressing slow circles near where you were connected.
“Fuck, I missed these” He rasps, savouring the feeling of your soft flesh in his hand, making you throw your head back.
“Missed how they looked when you were pregnant” he says, thinking of how ethereal you looked when you were knocked up with his kids.
“God, at this point I’m gonna get you fucking pregnant again” Hongjoong grunts, snapping his hips deliriously back and forth. He envisions you round and full, fulfilling his inner fantasy.
“Shut up.” You spat, breaking the mood as you bit your lip to suppress a moan. He almost laughs when you then crane your hips back to give him easier access to keep penetrating you. The desk shuffles.
“Your mouth is saying one thing, honey, but your body is saying something else”
After hearing his words, you suck him in further, both of you now getting close.
“M’close. M’so close!” you whimpered, sitting up so that now Hongjoong could hold you in his arms, caging your body so his cock could stuff you better.
Your mouth hangs open in silent bliss, hands scratching his back. You leaned into his ear, making the final chord inside him snap.
“Make me cum, daddy”
And just like that, you’re clenching around Hongjoong’s massive cock as a creamy white ring begins to form. Hot ropes fill you up inside, tangled in a sweaty mess as he purrs, caressing the back of your head again in habit.
“So fucking good, sweetheart. You did so good for me”
The sounds of your breathing fill the studio, a pencil or two rolling quietly away on the ground from being shoved off the desk. He shakes his head when you try to pull your sweaty bodies away, hair sticking to your neck but feeling the way he refuses.
“Just let me love you,” he mumbles into your shoulder, dick softening inside you. “Just for a moment.”
You’re too tired to say anything back, so you finally give in.
Seven years passed by you two without even realizing how much you still loved each other. Though you wouldn’t be able to get that time back, for once, there was something that you and Hongjoong agreed upon.
You had no intention of wasting that time any more.
𝐄𝐏𝐈𝐋𝐎𝐆𝐔𝐄:
Months later, and it still takes everything in Eunbyeol and Eunseo hearts to not scream at the sight of their parents when they walk hand in hand, smiling happily in public as they pick their daughters up from the first day of school.
The girls jump into their parent’s embrace, eying the two silver rings they now wore proudly together.
“How was school, darlings?” Hongjoong asks, pressing a kiss to Eunseo and Eunbyeol.
“It was fun! We watched a documentary about lovebirds” she smiled, looking back up. You laughed softly.
“Which reminded me to tell you,” she grins, watching as you, her sister, and father all looked at her.
“I hope you know that getting you and dad back together was my plan from the start.” she confesses, smirking at Eunbyeol who scoffs, crossing her arms.
“Nuh uh, this was my idea first!”
Before her sister could yell at her twin, you jumped in.
“Plan? What plan?” You asked quizzically, both you and Hongjoong standing there confused.
“To get you guys to fall back in love again, of course!” Eunseo smiles, both her and her sister now giggling softly together.
“How am I just finding out that there was a plan?” Hongjoong mutters, scratching his neck in confusion. You turned to the two girls, stopping in your tracks on your way to the car
“When did you two even think of all this?” grinning in astonishment as you felt Hongjoong slot his hand and intertwine it with yours. It felt natural now.
“Yeah, I'm curious too” he states, leaning close and becoming intrigued.
Your daughters look at each other before smiling.
“It’s a long story.”
But at last, time is something you finally now have as a reunited family of four, walking back to your car, holding hands with a twin on each side.
Listening carefully, as your daughters start from the very beginning.
taglist: @vent-stink @dazzlingstarrs @vcutparis @xpixie @potatos-on-clouds @showingmafandomlove @bibbleypoof @kpop-will-kill-me @avantalem @beabatiny @gabrielle-brugger @nsixns @amaranth1ne @stayminho @myblovedjyh @kkeshia @rebekah-reads @yoonbroom @4kwp @butterflydemons @iwaizumiismybae @soobinsputnik @stayatinykatsy @atitties @justconniez @kitten4sannie @ghostskilledmyaddiction21 @cheolsthicthighs @morethingsfandom @geminiml95 @byuntrash101 @quailbagutte @syubseokie @newworldwritings @urmom26john @sleepy-kat-here @pearltinyy @hjshyhyssnmgwyjh @cursedeastern @starryunho @piratekingateez2001 @jiminbility @paumll @drinkingrumandcocacola @roomsofangel @channies-bbg-room @meanaonthemoon @teeztopia @pommelex @kiln9z @sanhwalvr @youresolivlie @edawg77 @a-0206 @summer-gyu @bvidzsoo @yoongzsmile28 @tournesol155
#fic series: a night in hollywood#fic series: the parent trap#hongjoong smut#kim hongjoong#kim hongjoong x reader#hongjoong fluff#ateez hongjoong#ateez smut#ateez fluff#ateez fanfiction#ateez fanfic#ateez x reader#ateez series#ateez fanfiction series#ateez oneshot#ateez x female reader#hongjoong fanfic#hongjoong fanfiction#hongjoong x reader#hongjoong oneshot#kim hongjoong smut#ateez hongjoong smut#ateez hongjoong fluff#ateez romance au#rom-com fic#a night in hollywood#ateez#ateez fic#hongjoong fic#ateez scenarios
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yappologist degree holder ༊*·˚
𝗧𝗛𝗘𝗜𝗥 𝗩𝗢𝗜𝗖𝗘𝗟𝗜𝗡𝗘𝗦 about you.
feat. dan heng, aventurine, luocha, jing yuan, gepard, jiaoqiu, argenti and moze (gn!reader)
cw. ooc (very); jiaoqiu talks a lot; [slight] sexual innuendos
note. TRYING SOMETHING NEW GRAHHHHHH i dont think i captured their personalities correctly but 🙏🙏 WE BALL LAMSDOASDI i hope you guys enjoy it >:DD reader is identified as [name] and uses they/them prns (GANG I TRIED MY BEST LAMSDOAMSD) if you see me use fem prns in this piece please tell me <3 lmk if you'd like a pt. 2 w other chars (WOMEN ASHDUASHDUH)
˚ ༘♡ ⋆。˚ DAN HENG
about [name] [name]? what about them?
chat: significant other [name] is my significant other. aside from the express, they’re one of the only ones keeping me grounded whenever i become… “emo”. their words, not mine.
chat: sleep sleep is something i found hard to come by; everytime i closed my eyes, visions of my past appeared. but now that [name] is by my side, it has become easier to fall to a peaceful rest.
˚ ༘♡ ⋆。˚ AVENTURINE
about [name] through a game of life or death is how [name] and i met. hm? unconventional you say? well, it’s one of the reasons why i fell for them.
chat: bet betting has become an integral part of [name] and i’s life. while it’s not a common way of expressing your love for someone, it’s how we do things. whether those bets entail having to have the other run errands or even give your own life up, it sends spikes of adrenaline up our bones resulting in a very fun game of cat and mouse.
chat: loss there are seldom games i lose — and most of the time, i still somehow come out as, partially, a winner. but for some reason, whenever i offer a game of chance against [name], i seem to lose every game we have. i can’t lie, i get somewhat annoyed at how i can’t seem to win a game against them. but then again, life would be dull if it were just an unending series of wins.
˚ ༘♡ ⋆。˚ LUOCHA
about [name] [name] is a travelling merchant i’ve come to know over the past years of my journeys as one myself. if i didn't have anyone to rely on before, i've got my dearest to thank now.
chat: bargain as a merchant, it is important for me to know how to bargain, especially when deals presented to me are severely unfair for me. i must admit, i wasn’t very good at striking fair deals when i was starting off my path as a travelling merchant. but over the years, [name] has taught me a lot about this art. by observing their ways of negotiating, i am now able to attain very fair and valuable trades.
chat: aromatherapy with [name]’s upbringing as an herb specialist, i get to experience their family’s aromatherapy service. with every scent i am presented with, i am able to clear my mind and slip in the embrace of solitude and calm.
˚ ༘♡ ⋆。˚ JING YUAN
about [name] [name] is someone who can ease my troubled mind with an embrace; the calm in my storm, the light of my life, and the heart of my soul.
chat: birds when little birds flock to my head, my spouse wonders if im this character called… snow white… *sigh* i am not sure as to who that is due to my upbringing as a military leader — i had no time for these trivial tales. but whenever they tell tales about this... gizney? no.. bizney? not quite right either.. ah yes, disney princess, the intent of me being dressed with robes of royalty are reflected in their eyes.
chat: mimi what was once a kitten, has now grown into a ferocious little lion. i remember when i first got her, [name] was all over the poor thing — smothering it with their love and words of praise — mimi didn’t complain though, she let herself get spoiled. and even up until now, she’s still that same, little spoiled lion she is.
˚ ༘♡ ⋆。˚ GEPARD
about [name] [name] is my significant other – how i was able to catch their eye? i don’t know. sometimes, i doubt my ability to love, especially with my role as the captain of the silvermane guards. but whenever those thoughts appear in my mind, [name] is there to quell my uneasy mind.
chat: family the way [name] treats lynx makes me feel… funny. i can’t really describe it but my heart beats whenever they entertain my little sister. oh, and don’t even get me started with how serval treats them. *sigh* what should i do to ease this beating heart of mine?
chat: de-stress ways on how to de-stress? well, after a long day i am usually greeted with the embrace of my beloved once i step into our abode… then after that i’m littered with- o-oh.. apologies. i was supposed to give advice. let’s start over again, shall we?
˚ ༘♡ ⋆。˚ JIAOQIU
about [name] [name]? you want to now about them? well you see, as general feixiao’s doctor, it is important for me to have assistants whenever patients visit the clinic in a time when i am tending to duties involving her – this is where my dear [name] comes in. they’ve been with me from the start; us being classmates in the medicinal school we attended and all that. they’re easily one of the very dearest people in my life. most people only know them as my assistant due to their preference of upholding a “low-profile”; of course, i am very much alright with it. but when time comes and they’re ready to reveal our bond to the world, i’ll be the happiest man in the whole entire cosmos.
chat: sweets oh? you liked the sweets i gave you? well, you have my dear [name] to thank. they’re quite the connoisseur when it comes to making them. speaking of sweets, i forgot to mention we have a pastry shop in aurum alley. if you’re able to drop by, i’ll consider giving you a bundle of sweets, and probably other pastries, free of charge.
chat: coriander whatever you do, please do not hand me a bunch of coriander. i will absolutely lose my mind having to deal with a coriander-obsessed lover.
˚ ༘♡ ⋆。˚ ARGENTI
about [name] my love for [name] transcends even the distant stars of the cosmos. my heart, my soul, and my own being belong to them.
chat: roses roses are my beloved’s favourite flowers, as they are mine. every morning, i wake from my peaceful slumber to see my dear tending to the beds of flowers with a gentle smile on their face that makes me fall in love all over again. *sigh* i miss them so much, trailblazer.. please bring me back to my ship. i would like to sink into my lover’s embrace at this moment.
chat: baking my beloved takes time to make my preference for thick baguettes each and every morning. while it warms me to receive such a valuable gift, i am not sure if i am deserving of their unconditional love for i am just a mere knight of beauty, idiotically searching for the goddess i’ve devoted myself to.
˚ ༘♡ ⋆。˚ MOZE
about [name] i am [name]’s lover. i am bound to them by fate and affection which is why you shouldn’t come close to them — unless you’d like to request an audience with the weapon in my hand.
chat: shadow [name] gets frightened whenever i appear randomly — jiaoqiu tells me it’s a normal reaction as he too, gets startled whenever i show my face to him. although.. im not quite sure how my sudden appearance has them stunned...
chat: cleaning [name] and i share the same hobby of cleaning. whenever i am relieved of my duties assigned by the general, i watch them- no. they tell me of the rather… unconventional ways of cleaning our abode.
tagging: @ayrastv, @whatisnerotypical, @lia-loves
🐈⬛: thank you for reading! reblogs, comments, and likes are very much appreciated!
if you'd like to be part of my taglist, please access the gform below! thank you and hope to see you <3
© sheyfu on tumblr
#🐈⬛️.notepad#🌸.honkai star rail#honkai star rail#hsr#star rail#honkai star rail x reader#hsr x reaer#star rail x reader#dan heng#dan heng x reader#jiaoqiu#jiaoqiu x reader#gepard#gepard landau#gepard x reader#jing yuan#jing yuan x reader#moze#hsr moze#moze x reader#hsr moze x reader#argenti#argenti x reader#aventurine#aventurine x reader#luocha#luocha x reader
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tag dump: broken & updated tags part i
#morgs tag dump#✖main verse║war-torn child you were made to hold brawls between your knuckles & bury old friends & old memories beween your ribs#✖one piece verse║on days when the sky is painted grey i feel like there’s nothing worth forgiving#✖kny verse║from a tender age i was cursed with rage came swinging like a fist inside a batting cage#✖fairy tail verse║plunge the knife; bare my soul; scrape my ribs;#✖anbu verse║& death is the only god who comes when you call#✖pre-canon verse║you know better than anyone how to cry in silence for things gone by#✖genin verse║she went from porcelain to iron to steel#✖shippuden verse║the sun has been extinguished & the moon has fallen / there goes the light of our turbulent world#✖gaiden verse║& you keep telling yourself / there is no smell of war in me / but why else would this feel like madness#✖hokage!au verse║there will come a time when you might have to decide who lives & dies out there it’s a terrible responsibility#✖bleach verse║fear is what beats inside your heart in the place where life used to be#✖modern verse║life is a series of moments you wish your ribs could take back#✖bnha verse║i carry a body full of secrets & my bones align the universe within me#✖shipping call║well i won't die for love but ever since i met you you could have my heart and I would break it for you#✖mains call║i’d be lying if i said losing you was something i could handle#✖exclusives call║could we remain quiet on earth & bear it the war we make inside#✖inbox call║she screams for heaven’s help but heaven has always been deaf#✖starter call║tell it anyways for little words can sometimes mean life or death#✖plotting call║i’ve got to learn something from my mistakes instead of establishing a new record to break#✖affiliates call║peach blossom has a colour that does not ask my sins#✖ask memes║when the local language is violence be fluent
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OH RIGHT. YES. I MADE A NEW PAGE. WITH AN ACTUAL INTENT TO CONTINUE IT. IM SURE THE NEXT PAGE WILL COME WITHIN THE UH. YEAR OR SO. made this a few months ago, back when i worked at a place that gave me a 5 hour break. plenty o time to draw, just not digitally, so i caved n made this page on paper. rest will prolly be digital.
anyway, the life of a child in an educational machine they just dont fit into, will be full of strife. but just as any life, there will be moments of respite, of peace, and the kindness of another will be an anchor like no other. even the calm before the storm, is a peace to be savored, and cherished.
DISTRACTIONS sometimes its the drive to help and save our friends that pushes us to learn and to succeed. unfortunately its normally ''unethical'' to replicate that in a classroom setting. I ONLY JUST FINISHED THE LAST PAGE HERE, THE FIRST TWO WERE LITERALLY FROM LAST YEAR, N A FEW MONTHS APART. LOOOOK AT MY EVOLUTION. im very proud of this and bled REALLY HARD FOR THE LAST PAGE. PLEASE ABSORB THIS.
#LOOK LOOK NEW PAGE NEW PAGE#jrwi fanart#jrwi riptide#gillion tidestrider#jrwi show#i was basing this scene off of a moment from first grade#i was in a special classroom. with one other teacher there. coloring in a coloring book#she told me that if i want to color within the lines better. i could color in small circles near the lines#and it worked! helped keep my coloring more neat and clean. i keep that advice with me to this day#since before this september i was working as a paraprofessional on a bus#operating with sped kids who are growing up similar to how i did#thats one of those things that really fuel these comics for me. the errors of the school system#and how it effected me and how it effected my kids. it matters so so much to me.#this whole comic series (if i continue it) is gonna be. well. essentially fanfiction ofc#but also a passive aggressive jab at all the teachers that didnt think i would make it. or something like that.#its only going to get worse for baby gillion from here btw. i dont intend for many nice things to happen to him#this is just the. well. as i said here. the calm before the storm.#something cathartic about taking the terrible things shouted and whispered to me. and making a mean cartoon fish in robes say it#and drawing how this sad little fish. the chosen one. the specialest boy in the world. reacts to all that pressure.#it takes longer to crack than you think. sometimes a good 20 years will do it. so happy to see gill crack Now#OKAY ONE MORE THING. I LOV THE IDEA OF GILLION WISHIN HE COULD PLAY MORE MUSIC N BE IN A BAND#GILLION AND THE TIDESTRIDERS IS A DREAM COME TRUE TO HIM (IN MY HEART)#THAT FISH HAS GOT ROCK N ROLL IN HIS SOUL I FUCKIN KNNNOOW HE DOES!!!!
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No. No, it couldn't have been a dream The escape, Rowan, the ship to Terrasen—
A dream. An illusion. Her escape from him, from Maeve, had been another illusion.
Had she said it? Had she said where the Keys were hidden?
Then a cool, cultured voice purred, "All that training, and this is what becomes of you?" Not real. Arobynn, standing on the other side of the altar, was not real.
"Even Sam held out better than this."
Fenrys snarled.
You could get out of these chains, if you really wanted," Arobynn said, frowning with distaste. "If you really tried."
No, she couldn't, and everything had been a dream, a lie.
"You let yourself remain captive. Because the moment you are free..." Arobynn chuckled. "Then you must offer yourself up, a lamb to slaughter."
Only hearing the King of the Assassins, unseen and unnoted beside her.
"Deep down, you're hoping you'll be here long enough that the young King of Adarlan will pay the price. Deep down, you know you're hiding here, waiting for him to clear the path." Arobynn leaned against the side of the altar, cleaning his nails with a dagger. "Deep down, you know it's not really fair, that those gods picked you. That Elena picked you instead of him. She bought you time to live, yes, but you were still chosen to pay the price. Her price And the gods'?"
Arobynn ran a long-fingered hand down the side of her face. "Do you see what I tried to spare you from all these years? What you might have avoided had you remained Celaena, remained with me?" He smiled. "Do you see, Aelin?"
She could not answer. Had no voice. Cairn hit bone, and—
Aelin lunged upward, hands grasping for her thigh. No chains weighed her. No mask smothered her. No dagger had been twisted into her body. Breathing hard, the scent of musty sheets clinging to her nose, the sounds of her screaming replaced by the drowsy chirping of birds, Aelin scrubbed at her face.
The prince who'd fallen asleep beside her was already running a hand down her back in silent, soothing strokes.
A dream. Just a dream.
She twisted, setting her feet to the threadbare carpet on the uneven wood floor.
"Dawn isn't for another hour," Rowan said.
Yet Aelin reached for her shirt. "I'll get warmed up, then." Maybe run, as she had not been able to do in weeks and weeks.
Rowan sat up, missing nothing. "Training can wait, Aelin." They'd been doing it for weeks now, as thorough and grueling as it had been at Mistward.
She shoved her legs into her pants, then buckled on her sword belt.
"No, it can't."
A gathering storm to the north had forced their ship to find harbor last night—and after weeks at sea, none of them had hesitated to spend a few hours on land. To learn what in hell had happened while they'd been gone.
The answer: war.
Everywhere, war raged. But where the fighting occurred, the aging innkeeper didn't know. Boats didn't stop at the port anymore— and the great warships just sailed past. Whether they were enemy or friendly, he also didn't know.
Aelin scowled. "What." It wasn't so much of a question as demand.
His gaze was unfaltering. As it had been when she'd returned from her run through the misty fields beyond the inn and found him leaning against the apple tree. "That's enough for today."
"We've hardly started." She lifted her blade.
Rowan kept his own lowered. "You barely slept last night."
Aelin tensed. "Bad dreams." An understatement. She lifted her chin and threw him a grin. "Perhaps I'm starting to wear you down a bit."
His canines gleamed. "You need to eat."
"I need to train."
She couldn't stop it-that need to do something. To be in motion.
No matter how many times she swung her blade, she could feel them. The shackles. And whenever she paused to rest, she could feel it, too—her magic. Waiting.
Indeed, it seemed to open an eye and yawn.
She clenched her jaw, and attacked again Rowan met each blow, and she knew her maneuvers were descending into sloppiness.
Knew he let her continue rather than seizing the many openings to end it.
She couldn't stop. War raged around them People were dying. And she had been locked in that damned box, had been taken apart again and again, unable to do anything.
Rowan struck, so fast she couldn't track it. But it was the foot he slid before her own that doomed her, sending her careening into the dirt.
"I win," he panted. "Let's eat."
Aelin glared up at him. "Another round."
Rowan just sheathed his sword. "After breakfast."
She growled. He growled right back.
"Don't be stupid," he said. "You'll lose all that muscle if you don't feed your body. So eat. And if you still want to train afterward, I'll train with you." He offered her a tattooed hand.
But Aelin said, "People are dying. In Terrasen. In-everywhere. People are dying, Rowan."
"Your eating breakfast isn't going to change that." Her lips curled in a snarl, but he cut her off. "I know people are dying. We are going to help them. But you need to have some strength left, or you won't be able to."
Truth. Her mate spoke truth. And yet she could see them, hear them. Those dying, frightened people. Whose screams so often sounded like her own.
Rowan wriggled his fingers in silent reminder. Shall we?
Aelin scowled and took his hand, letting him haul her to her feet. So pushy.
Rowan slid an arm around her shoulders. That's the most polite thing you've ever said about me.
Elide's eyes widened. Widened further as he opened his mouth, and took a bite. His swallow was audible. His cringe barely contained. Elide reined in her smile at the pure misery that entered the Lion's tawny stare. Aelin and Rowan had been finishing up a similar battle when she'd entered the taproom minutes ago, the queen wishing her luck before striding back into the courtyard.
Elide hadn't seen her sit still for longer than it took to eat a meal. Or during the hours when she'd instructed them in Wyrdmarks, after Rowan had requested she teach them.
It had gotten her out of the chains, the prince had explained. And if the ilken were resistant to their magic, then learning the ancient marks would come in handy with all they faced ahead. The battles both physical and magic.
Gavriel met her stare, and Elide again restrained her laugh.
She felt, rather than saw, Lorcan enter. The innkeeper instantly found somewhere else to be. The man hadn't been surprised to see five Fae enter his inn last night, so his vanishing whenever Lorcan appeared was certainly due to the glower the male had perfected.
Indeed, Lorcan took one look at Elide and Gavriel and left the dining room.
They'd barely spoken these weeks. Elide hadn't known what to even say. A member of this court. Her court. Forever.
He and Aelin certainly hadn't warmed toward each other. No, only Rowan and Gavriel really spoke to him. Fenrys, despite his promise to Aelin not to fight with Lorcan, ignored him most of the time. And Elide ... She'd made herself scarce often enough that Lorcan hadn't bothered to approach her.
Good. It was good. Even if she sometimes found herself opening her mouth to speak to him. Watching him as he listened to Aelin's lessons on the Wyrdmarks. Or while he trained with the queen, the rare moments when the two of them weren't at each other's throats.
Aelin had been returned to them. Was recovering as best she could.
Elide didn't taste her next bite of porridge. Gavriel, thankfully, said nothing. And Anneith didn't speak, either. Not a whisper of guidance. It was better that way. To listen to herself. Better that Lorcan kept his distance, too.
Whether the others knew what propelled her, they hadn't said a word. Aelin sheathed Goldryn and loosed a long breath. Deep down, her power grumbled. She flexed her fingers. Maeve's cold, pale face flashed before her eyes. Her magic went silent.
Fenrys sat in wolf form at the edge of the nearest field, staring out across the expanse.
Precisely where he'd been before dawn.
She let him hear her steps, his ears twitching. He shifted as she approached, and leaned against the half-rotted fence surrounding the field.
"Who'd you piss off to get the graveyard shift?" Aelin asked, wiping the sweat from her brow.
Fenrys snorted and ran a hand through his hair. "Would you believe I volunteered for it?" She arched a brow. He shrugged, watching the field again, the mists still clinging to its farthest reaches. "I don't sleep well these days." He cut her a sidelong glance. "I don't suppose I'm the only one."
She picked at the blister on her right hand, hissing. "We could start a secret society-for people who don't sleep well."
"As long as Lorcan isn't invited, I'm in."
Aelin huffed a laugh. "Let it go."
His face turned stony. "I said I would."
"You clearly haven't."
"I'll let it go when you stop running yourself ragged at dawn."
"I'm not running myself ragged. Rowan is overseeing it."
"Rowan is the only reason you're not limping everywhere."
Truth. Aelin curled her aching hands into fists and slid them into her pockets. Fenrys said nothing didn't ask why she didn't warm her fingers. Or the air around them. He just turned to her and blinked three times. Are you all right?
A gull's cry pierced the gray world, and Aelin blinked back twice. No. It was as much as she'd admit. She blinked again, thrice now. Are you all right?
Two blinks from him, too. No,
They were not alright.
They might never be. If the others knew, if they saw past the swagger and temper, they didn't let on.
None of them commented that Fenrys hadn't once used his magic to leap between places. Not that there was anywhere to go in the middle of the sea. But even when they sparred, he didn't wield it. Perhaps it had died with Connall. Perhaps it had been a gift they had both shared, and touching it was unbearable.
She didn't dare peer inward, to the churning sea inside her. Couldn't.
Aelin and Fenrys stood by the field as the sun arced higher, burning off the mists.
Aelin shook her head. Another dream, or hallucination. "If she's on our heels with this army, I'm just ... trying to understand it. Her, I mean."
"You plan to kill her." The gruel in her stomach turned over, but Aelin shrugged. Even as she tasted ash on her tongue.
"Would you prefer to do it?"
"I'm not sure I'd survive it," he said through his teeth. "And you have more of a reason to claim it than I do."
"I'd say we have an equal claim."
His dark eyes roved over her face. "Connall was a better male than—than how you saw him that time. Than what he was in the end."
She gripped his hand and squeezed. "I know."
The last of the mists vanished. Fenrys asked quietly, "Do you want me to tell you about it?" He didn't mean his brother.
She shook her head. "I know enough." She surveyed her cold, blistered hands. "I know enough," she repeated.
#Chapter 44#Kingdom of Ash#Sarah J. Maas#Aelin Galathynius#Rowan Whitethorn#Fenrys#Rowaelin#Throne of Glass series#no spoilers please this is my first read to read along with me there will be book & chapter spoilers in post & tags with more in tags etc.#Fenrys and Aelin#the Mistward references are getting me man everytime they go full circle ow my soul but aw my heart but ahh my brain#YOU DID NOT JUST REFERENCE SAM CORTLAND IN COMPARISON OH MY GODS MY SOUL IM DEAD NOW HOW COULD YOU DO THIS TO US BB GIRL NO#the fact she can’t tell reality from nightmare because of Maeve is truly so cruel and utterly heartbreaking#the fact Cairn uses her name oh hell no it hurts on another level and the horror each time Rowan the ship a dream an illusion I didn’t brea#the fact she’s worried about if she gave up the keys then Terrasen better be kind to her now or else#Not real. the fact it’s almost a comfort to see him in horror because at least she knows it’s a nightmare with Arobynn#that’s why the little folk also worked because Maeve doesn’t know that part of the story to twist in the first place cause she isn’t an hei#the way Rowan is already there rubbing her back waiting for her on the run Fenrys is right he’s all that’s keeping her#but even in the nightmare Fenrys is there please don’t make the name Rowan calling out what’s going on in reality no fire please#new blisters for a new body oh my heart breaks every time it’s giving white pig inn vibes babe got the braid back she’s trying but he knows#his gaze was unfaltering-which one said had dreams?-I miss the easier Mistward days#truth-the way Fenrys and Aelin are both finally honest that their not okay-she is one of her people-their brain talks are back#yes elide learning where marks-the lions tawny stare- oh Elide & Lorcy#HER court-better at a distance-what had Maeve done to her magic?-graveyard shift-they know-the fact he shifts for her so they can talk#the lil Lorcan jokes lol this cadre of hers-it’s also Fenrys magic-she knows Maeve is off-the power difference-no not another attack-hurry#but Aelin could walk away from it-her vs Maeve-bitch going down in the flames of the true queen bb#Her former master gave her a half smile. Even Sam held out better than this.#So pushy. Rowan slid an arm around her shoulders. That's the most polite thing you've ever said about me#We could start a secret society-for people who don't sleep well. As long as Lorcan isn't invited I'm in.#Rowan is the only reason you're not limping everywhere.
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