#they fight like an old married couple istg-

[ragzonacamrencruise]

[Enid and Wednesday fighting]

Enid: YOU KNOW WHAT? I WANT A DIVORCE.

Wednesday: WE’RE NOT EVEN MARRIED!!

Enid: AND WHOSE FUCKING FAULT IS THAT?!

[kar1nsworldx]

Chrismd with a massive crush on arsenal or Chelsea super league player 😩

Eyes on the target

pairing: ChrisMD x f!reader Instagram!AU SUMMARY: fans slowly realise that a certain youtuber has a crush on their favourite female football player requested: yessir! my apologies anon that it took so long to post, but I really hope that you like this! I tryed to write it as long as i could x AUTHOR'S NOTE: loved writing this and I hope anon that you got what you wanted! Please do send more requests, I'd love to write more <3

ˋ°•*⁀➷ 𝗠𝗮𝘀𝘁𝗲𝗿𝗹𝗶𝘀𝘁 🧸ྀི

ᯓᡣ𐭩ᯓᡣ𐭩ᯓᡣ𐭩ᯓᡣ𐭩ᯓᡣ𐭩ᯓᡣ𐭩ᯓᡣ𐭩ᯓᡣ𐭩ᯓᡣ𐭩ᯓᡣ𐭩ᯓᡣ𐭩

y/n l/n

liked by arsenalwfc, ksi and 67, 552 others

y/n l/n: what a night to be a gunner 😍

tagged: @arsenalwfc

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COMMENTS;

leahwilliamsonn: get it ❣️

bethmead_: iconic night? I think yes xxx

ksi: went to the game, absolute banger of a goal

y/n l/n: haha tysm, big fan of your lots videos x

use4r: lmaoo did not expect ksi to be here 💀💀

kimlittle1990: a screamer was scored tonight 💋

y/n l/n: all thanks to you 😍😍

katie_mccabe11: ❤

caitlinfoord: ❤

laiacodina5: ❤

y/nily: what a player

user101: were so happy to have you y/n, welcome to the club <3

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y/n l/n

liked by caitlinfoord, chrismd10 and 72,832 others

y/n l/n: thank you everybody for such a wonderful night and season!! much love for you all - 24/25. see you soon ❣️

tagged: @arsenalwfc

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COMMENTS;

drinkprime: 🔥🔥🔥

caitlinfoord: 🫂🫂🫂

user777: y/n do you accept my hand in marrige? 🤲💍

y/n l/n: mmmm maybe one day, but atm I think I have someone on my mind, I'm sorry 🫂

user777: AHHHHH YOU REPLIED HOLY SHIT

useroo: who is on your mind exactly miss y/n?? 🤨🤨

y/n l/n: mmm i don't know, I think I'll keep that a secret for now 🤭😚🤫

useroo: ULQDBDIXCIAOKSBCJCJJXNDBEJOWJDNC

y/nmarryme: y/n i love you 🗣

arsenalwfc: thank you y/n!

chrismd10: miss l/n everybody 💪🔥

y/n l/n: chriss 💪😍

xeuserxe: umm.... okay 🤨

us3r: the emonji combo????????

katie_mccabe11: the woman herself, y/n l/n 💋😍

y/n l/n: katie my love 💋💋💋

katie_mccabe11: 🫂🫂🫂

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y/n l/n

liked by chrismd10, miniminter and 56,892 others

y/n l/n: just because the season ended dosen't mean my love for football did ☺️ new youtube video coming out in 3 days everybody xxx 🌟

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COMMENTS;

xeuserxe: AHHHH can't wait to see it!!! 😚

user111: mmmmmm whos that in the third picture? 🤨🤨🤨

y/n l/n: you'll find out soon enough xx

user111: 🤨🤨🤨

drinkprime: 🔥🔥🔥

y/n l/n: prime 🤝 me

ksi: hell yeah ❤

us3r: sidemen x y/n video when???!???

sidemen: 👀🤫

useroo: WAIT WHAT

chrismd10: sick video coming out soon 🔥

y/n l/n: yessir 🗣

userly: chris how would you know that its a good video 🤨🤨🤨

usermybeloved: something is going on between them I just know it

laiacodina5: you just can't stay away from the stadium can you?

y/n l/n: you know I can't lovely 😚

user505: MOTHERRRR 🗣🗣🗣🗣🗣

y/n l/n: CHILDDDD 🗣🗣🗣🗣🗣

user505: OHMYGOD YOU ACTUALLY RESPONDED I AM SCREAMING WHAT THE FUCK AAHWWHDUCEHJCCHHCHCHDHJC

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chrismd10

liked by y/n l/n, georgeclarkeey and 562,777 others

chrismd10: England's national darlings and @y/n l/n

tagged: @bukayosaka87 @y/n l/n

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COMMENTS;

y/n l/n: Christopher count your days

chrismd10: yes dear, of course dear ❤

user444: LMAOOOO WHAT

userly: AHAHHAHAHAHAHAHHA

useredup: istg somethings deffinitly up theyre fighting like an old married couple

bukayosaka87: ❤

y/n l/n: my photo creds??? where????

chrismd10: sorry gorgeous, forgot to mention that ❤

y/n l/n: mhm, sure sure 🙄❤

user777: THE HEARTS??? "GORGEOUS"????? WHAT IS HAPPENING

useroo: this was not on my 2024 bingo card

miniminter: lucky bastard

theobaker_: @y/n l/n be advised that prick never gives photo credits

y/n l/n: thank you for the information theo x

chrismd10: mate shut up

arthurtv: can I come next time? I want to met y/n too :(

chrismd10: no

y/n l/n: christopher you better bring him too next time

chrismd10: yes ma'am

arthurtv: yay!

y/n l/n: 🫂

xeuserxe: BAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHHAHA

user505: y/n is becoming arthurs parent confirmed

us3r: I love them

userly: AGHHHHHH THE CAT IS SO CUTE WTF????????

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arthurtv

liked by georgeclarkeey, tobjizzle and 102,732 others

arthurtv: mama y papa - chris actually took me to meet the legend herself, y/n l/n!! 🎉

tagged: @y/n l/n @chrismd10 @mycoffee:)

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COMMENTS;

y/n l/n: ARTHURRRRRRRR :))))) 🫂🫂🫂🫂

arthurtv: Y/NNNNNNNNNN :))))) 🫂🫂🫂🫂

chrismd10: why are you never this nice to me

y/n l/n: fuck off chris

chrismd10: ...

user111: AAWHWHHAHSBXJC THEYRE SO CUTE

user101: I LOVE THEM BAHAHAHHAHAHAHA

chrismd10: yea yea youre welcome mate

georgeclarkeey: boyfriend come see me soon :(

arthurtv: george were not boyfriends! but yes i'll come over tomorrow (:

reevhd: cuties

user505: MAMA Y PAPA, MAMA Y PAPA

useredup: arthur became chris's and y/n's offical child, its confirmed

y/nily: arthurtv thank you for this beautiful pictures of y/n

user777: y/n once again I am asking, do you accept my hand in marrige 💍🤲

chrismd10: she does not.

user777: AHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHHA WTF?????

xeuserxe: JELOUS CHIRS????? HELLO????

useroo: I love how Arthur tagged his coffee in the 3rd picture :((((( 🫂

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y/n l/n

liked by jackgrealish, laiacodina5 and 102,652 others

y/n l/n: to my suprise my photographer isn't such a shitty photographer as I thought he'd be

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COMMENTS;

user444: MOTHER IS MOTHERING

chrismd10: 🔥🔥🔥

user101: BAHHAHAHAHAHAHAA SAME CHRIS SAME

useredup: chris youre so real for that

y/n l/n: 😍

useroo: and may we know who this photographer is?

useroo: and do we know of him by any chance???

y/n l/n: 🤷‍♀️🤫🤭

useroo: AGHHHHHH Y/N SAY SOME ACTUAL INFORMATION PLEASE

y/n l/n: nuh uh

useroo: FUCKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKK MEEEEEEEE

useredup: @useroo is having a mental breakdown, love to see it

useroo: 😐

laiacodina5: pretty girl

y/n l/n: says you! xxx

katie_mccabe11: literally marry me

y/n l/n: 💋💋💋

chrismd10: im suprised hes even dealing with you considering youre quite a prick

y/n l/n: oh fuck off ya twat

chrismd10: my point has been proven ladies and gentlemen, goodnight

y/n l/n: shut the fuck up (affectionate)

userly: #fav-old-married-couple

user444: i love them

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chrismd10

liked by calfreezy, behzingagram and 232,752 others

chrismd10: theres a silly goose in the last picture, spoiler alert; it's not me!

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COMMENTS;

behzingagram: peng

y/n l/n: 😍

s1demenl0ver: HAHAHAHAHA LITERALLY ME

user101: Y/N IS SO FUCKING REAL

useroo: hm.. 😶🤨

chrismd10: 🔥🔥🔥

calfreezy: brother ditched us

userly: ARE YALL SEEING THE 3RD PIC?????????

user505: I AM LIKE WHO THE FUCK IS THAT WITH HIM?????????

userly: I DONT HAVE A CLUE

useroo: AGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

theburntchip: what a man

y/n l/n: I feel bad for that poor girl, because shes the one dealing with YOU, ya fucking twat

chrismd10: shut up ya prick

userly: as I said, their my #fav-old-married-couple

wroetoshaw: nice mate

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chrismd10 added to their story;

⤷ y/n l/n liked chirsmd10's story! ♡

⤷ y/n l/n: twat

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y/n l/n added to their story;

⤷ chrismd10: I literally hate you

⤷ y/n l/n: Ily2!

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lionesses

liked by vikkstagram, calfreezy and 532,477 others

lionesses: we proudly announce that the lionesses have qualified for the euros, thanks to y/n l/n's hattrick! ❤

tagged: @y/n l/n

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COMMENTS;

arsenalwfc: y/n l/n everybody! ❤

y/n l/n: 💋💋💋

chrismd10: LETS GOOOO Y/N!!!! @y/n l/n 🔥

y/n l/n: CHRISSSSSSSSSS 😚❣️💋

behzingagram: get inn 💪

arthurtv: Y/NNNNNNNN 🌟

y/n l/n: ARTHUR 🫂🫂🫂

calfreezy: thats how its done 💪🙏

katie_mccabe11: MISS Y/N EVERYONE

y/n l/n: love ya irish 😚 🇨🇮

leahwilliamsonn: love ya @y/n l/n ❤❤❤

y/n l/n: love you too bae 😍

laiacodina5: thats my girl!!

y/n l/n: 🫂🫂🫂

theburntchip: yes lass 💪

georgeclarkeey: yessir

ksi: 🙏

tobjizzle: ❤

philfoden: congrats! 💙

jackgrealish: well done ladies 💙💙

rico.lewis: 💙

wroetoshaw: very nice

kylewalker2: 💙

johnstones5: 💙

miniminter: 🔥

drinkprime: thats how its done 🔥

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y/n l/n

liked by arsenalwfc, arthurtv and 60,854 others

y/n l/n: Pre-season in the states 🇺🇲

tagged: @arsenalwfc @kyracooneyx

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COMMENTS;

usermybeloved: y/n in her editing era 🔥

user007: lets goooo

arthurtv: good luck y/n!

y/n l/n: thank you arthur!

arthurtv: :)

chrismd10: yea yea good luck ya prick 🔥

y/n l/n: thank you twat 😚

kyracooneyx: 💪💪💪

arsenalwfc: glad to have you back l/n! 😉🙌

theobaker_: lets gooooooo arsenal ❤

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y/n l/n

liked by chrismd10, drinkprime and 91,576 others

y/n l/n: Third kit is a charm ❤ #coyg

tagged: @arsenal @arsenalwfc @adidasfootball

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COMMENTS;

userly: stunning stunning girl xx

useredup: ahhhhhh you look so good!!!

adidasfootball: 💪😉

chrismd10: fucking peng

y/n l/n: 💋💋💋

user101: OH???!?????? 🤨👀

us3r: EXCUSE ME

user2.0: OHMAGAWD

drinkprime: 🔥🔥🔥

arsenal: looking good miss l/n 💪

y/nily: y/n look bad in a kit challange (impossible)

user777: y/n pls marry me? 💍🤲

chrismd10: she says no xx

user101: BAHHAHAHAHAHA CHRIS ILY

useroo: BAHAHHAHAHAHAHHAA

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y/n l/n

liked by chrismd10, georgeclarkeey and 78,237 others

y/n l/n: is mister pickles 🥒 an icon? sources suggest that he is (sources; me, chrismd, arthurtv, georgeclarkey)!

tagged: @chrismd10 @arthurtv @georgeclarkeey

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COMMENTS;

chrismd10: hes more iconic than you thats for sure

y/n l/n: youre going to lose your privilege to see pickles if you continue to do this christopher

chrismd10: yes ma'am, sorry ma'am

xouserxo: AAAAAAAAA I LOVE YOU TWO SO MUCH SJX

arthurtv: I'd say the sources are correct!

georgeclarkeey: that dog is one sassy little dude. i love him

xeuserxe: AHHHH HES ADORABLE

caitlinfoord: pickles is the best (:

user505: "all hail pickles" we say in unison 🗣🗣🗣

useredup: PICKLEEEEES 👹👹👹👹

y/n l/n: back off, pickles is scared 🤺🤺🤺🤺🤺🤺

theburntchip: what a distinguished fellow

arsenalwfc: were missing the lil man on the pitch

chrismd10: btw i will be stealing him

y/n l/n: cunt

user007: AHHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHA

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y/n l/n

liked by chrismd10, chloekelly and 137,699 others

y/n l/n: oui oui bonjour 🧸☁️

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COMMENTS;

chrismd10: do you even know what that means?

y/n l/n: En fait, je comprends ce que ça veut dire, espèce d'idiot - TRANSLATION; Actually, I understand what that means, you idiot

chrismd10: hot.

y/n l/n: HAHAHAHAHHAAHHAHAHAHA

xouserxo: AHHHHH PARIS 🎀🎀🎀🎀

user111: are we not going to talk about the fifth picture...?

useroo: mmm y/n whos that in the fifth picture? 🤨

y/n l/n: mmm i thinks it's..... nonya business 🤫😍😍😍😍

useroo: 😐😐😐

useredup: @useroo is so done w y/n's shit 💀😭

chloekelly: pretty ♡

y/n l/n: AGHHHHH CHLOE I LOVE YOU DBJXCLUXEFG

user007: y/n youre so real for that xjxnc 😭

user444: paris is really the city of love, right @y/n l/n ... 🤨

y/n l/n: deffinitly!! 🤭🤭🤭🤭

kyracooneyx: happiness is a good luck on you. so is being in love

y/n l/n: off with your head, youve already said to much

userly: BAHAHHAHAHAHAHA

us3r: LMAOOOOOOO KYRA GIVE US MORE INFO PLEASE

kyracooneyx: well you deffinitly know him

y/n l/n: KYRAAAAAAAAAAA

useredup: OHMYGOD I THINK MY SUSPISONS HAVE BEEN CONFIRMED THANK YOU KYRA!!!!

chrismd10: 📸📸

y/n l/n: 💋💋

y/nily: 🤨🤨🤨🤨🤨🤨

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chrismd10

liked by behzingagram, wroetoshaw and 206,554 others

chrismd10: as the missus said, "oui oui bonjour 🧸"

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COMMENTS;

y/n l/n: do YOU know what that means? 😐🤨

chrismd10: oui

theburntchip: smooth fella smooth

calfreezy: nice going mate

behzingagram: happy for you ya twat

tobjizzle: ❤

y/n l/n: ily

chrismd10: ily2

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y/n l/n

liked by chrismd10, zerkaa and 707,633 others

y/n l/n: god its so hard to be in a relationship with such a lovable twat ❤

tagged: @chrismd10

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y/n l/n: love ya @chrismd10

chrismd10: even more than pickles?

y/n l/n: know your fucking limits.

us3r: BAHHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHHAHA

bambinobecky: 🥳🥳

caitlinfoord: ❣️❣️❣️

laiacodina5: whoooooooo 🌟🌟🌟

katie_mccabe11: happy for you doll xxx

y/n l/n: @useroo so it looks like nonya business was actually mr. chrismd (: sorry for all the caused breakdowns xxx

useroo: fuck me im so happy but also fuck you coudn't you have announced this before all my breakdowns miss y/n

y/n l/n: nope! 😛😝😜🤪

useroo: 😐❤

useredup: AHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHHAHA

xouserxo: HELL YEAAAAH

arthurtv: mama y papa

y/n l/n: hello child <3!!!

chrismd10: hello.. child.

arthurtv: 😄😁

theburbtchip: about damn time

tobjizzle: soo happy for you guys ❤

y/n l/n: thank you tobi!!! ❣️

user007: WAR IS OVEEEEEEEEEEEEEEER

user777: oh.. so thats why you wont take my hand in marrige :( BUT YAY SO HAPPY FOR YOU GUYS

userly: IT FINALLY HAPPENED FUCK YEAAAAS

user444: YIPPIE YIPPIE YIPPIE YIPPIE YIPPIE

user111: MOTHERRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR

user101: *screams in single*

usermybeloved: BEST COUPLE IN 2024 CONFIRMED

y/nily: ❣️❣️❣️❣️❣️🥳🥳🥳🥳🥳

chrismd10: love you too darling ❤

y/n l/n: YAYAYAYAY

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chrismd10

liked by miniminter, arthurnfhill and 1,572,684 others

chrismd10: love you to ya prick

tagged: @y/n l/n

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COMMENTS;

ksi: congrats bro

chrismd10: thanks ksi

tobjizzle: ❤

theburntchip: as I written before, about damn time

callux: 🎉🎉

wroetoshaw: im suprised ya fucking bagged her mate, bloody hell well done

chrismd10: thanks harry

zerkaa: 💚

arthurtv: my parents are finally together :)

arthurnfhill: im impressed

miniminter: 👏👏👏

behzingagram: how the fuck did you bag her

chrismd10: actually quite easily for your information you fat prick

vikkstagram: 🌟🌟🌟

calfreezy: sap

chrismd10: shut the fuck up ya long dick

calfreezy: midget

georgeclarkeey: sigh, ive lost another boyfriend 😞

y/n l/n: it's okay pookie we'll share ❤

chrismd10: ...i did not consent to this.

us3r: my childhood youtuber getting together with my favourite female footballer was not on my 2024 bingo card

useroo: about fucking time.

s1demenl0ver: 🥳🥳🥳

useredup: congrats guys 👏

user111: ❤

user007: I AM LITERALLY SO HAPPY OHMYGOD

user777: @chrismd10 will you ask y/n if she'll take my hand in marrige 💍🤲

chrismd10: she says no, AGAIN.

useredup: AHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHAHHA

user444: YASSSSSS

user101: nahh but honestly chris takes really good pictures

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y/n l/n added to their story;

⤷ chrismd10 liked y/n l/n's story! ♡

⤷ chrismd10: I literally posted a cute little photodump of you and you're posting this??? Ya fucking prick

⤷ y/n l/n: l love you too ya twat! Also let me post our child ❤

⤷ chrismd10: yeah yeah whatever. i love you too ya prick ❤

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chrismd10

liked by georgeclarkeey, arthurtv and 876, 543 others

chrismd10: it's possible that she likes her caps more than me..

tagged: @y/n l/n

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chrismd10: just so you all know I am not a sap, I did not know she'd post arthur on her story the moment id post her okay?? fuck off ya twats

behzingagram: sap

chrismd10: shut the fuck up

Comments have been restricted.

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y/n l/n added to their story;

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[bigfiasco]

so you're telling me the two characters that gave us the only slow burn romantic moments throughout the whole god damn series DON'T end up together?? How do these two have more intimate scenes than couples that are MARRIED IN BORUTO??

Every ounce every hint every whiff of reciprocated romance that show had was from Neji and Tenten istg they are my swan song

This ENTIRE scene - The gentleness of him catching her? Her deliberately slow recovery?? The tenderness in that eye contact?? I was invading their privacy when I watched this episode

Arguably the most damning of all - The ending to her perfect dream is Neji holding her while she essentially professes she is finally home now that they are back together?? I was speechless tbh and still am over such an obvious display of affection

And this outwardly intimate moment was simply no accident for such a largely romance-avoidant anime

One of the images that flashed in his mind when he thought he was going to die was OF HER front and center????

She dresses up and wears lipstick for his Chunin match and then brags about him the entire fight?? I swear 90% of my girl's entire dialogue was his name

Then she went to comfort him after his match and he confirms that she already knew about the curse mark? Which means he felt safe enough with her to disclose such a painful secret and shameful part of his life?

Even twelve year old me was like this is clearly a thing. The effort the animators went to keep them close together in almost all of their scenes together as a pair is truly above and beyond

Character designs to match the Hashirama and his wife??

And then of course the meaningful nod to them fighting back to back since childhood so that she can cover his blind spot will never fail to make me sob

I could go on but in essence I'm still devastated the one couple that carried Naruto and early Shippuden in the reciprocal romance department never got their happy ending - a tragedy for certain

[thatonegaybrit]

; since it's the last day of pride ( for me at least ) I figured I'd make at least a lil post !!

; firstly I'd like to say being a part of the LGBTQIA+ community is one of the best things in my life. Sure it has it's flaws, it's discourse and it's hate but it's also freeing, and strong and beautiful in so many ways. There's been people in my life who I truly can't thank enough for being there, and we met because of this community. It's the one community that, even if some days I feel like a total outcast, I've felt truly at home in. At peace even.

; from the flags to the people it's js so breathtakingly stunning and creative and a symbol of resilience honestly. Being queer is a part of so many peoples lives, including the people no longer with us. Truly it's such a huge part of my life and ik it's silly to say but I wouldn't be here without this community and the people in it.

; there's been days when everything has felt hopeless and purposeless and that maybe it never has an end to all the suffering. But then I see a post of two queer kids attending pride for the first time or an old queer couple finally getting married legally and their smiles and the warmth is truly heartwarming. And the jokes and the humour and the community is so inviting and stupid I love it.

; but also how strong the community is, how strong the people in said community are. All of us. The Black Trans Women who started the pride we celebrate today and continue to support, the Indigenous Two Spirits who fight to be recognized and to fight for their people who've been erased, the Disabled queers who are loud and caring and support the community even when they're shunned for it, and every single person in the community who's existence is a fight and a protest and js. All stunning and powerful individuals, no matter who or what they are they're all truly inspirational and deserve the warmest of days and the biggest of hugs / whatever istg.

; from the ' common ' to the ' obscure ' the community is ridiculed and hated, but we're still here and we're still strong. We've always been here and always will. And to the queers living in countries like Palestine and Russia and places where they can't celebrate themselves and their pride, we do stand with you and we will do our best to support you in every way we can. There is no freedom till we are all free, I know one day you'll be safe and be free and be proud to be who you are. I and everyone else who can will make sure of it.

; we are so so diverse and real and wow. Simply wow. So to the Lesbians, the Gays, Bisexuals, Transgenders, Queers, Intersexuals, Aromantics, Asexuals and Aroaces and all on that spectrum, to the Multigenders and the Multisexuals, the Non-binary people and the Two-Spirits and the Xenogenders and the Agenders and the Apathetics, the Repulsed and the Favourable, and to each and every single person in the queerest community out there. I wish you a happy fucking pride month and a wonderful rest of the year. Hold on for us ok ??

; whether you celebrated Pride Month or not, your existence yesterday, today and forever more is worth celebrating every damn day <3

[caliburn-the-sword]

fhh ch47-52

this time i SWEAR i won't forget to include where i got up to. however, i think with the power of sheer force of will, i may complete the book. i WILL be staying up past midnight just to achieve it too. i n e e d to know. unless it puts me through so much struggle i once again need a break

debate on penguins HELP rosorion is literally the cutest. relationship goals

love how rosalind and celia went to bed fighting and woke up teasing one another. true siblings fr

how is alisa concerned for the state of rosalind's driving. as if she didn't run over a fence. like yes it was in smoke but STILL rosalind commented on her lack of driving experience. i love how they mutually think the other sucks at driving

YAY WE'RE SEEING ROMA AND JULIETTE AGAIN

alisa is so damn clever. i am however also concerned she is gonna be caught by lady hong's forces and used as bait. however i doubt lady hong grasps alisa's importance to the rest of the group

YESSSS ROSALIND AND ORION ARE PLAYING AT MARRIED COUPLE AGAIN LIFE IS GOOD

alisa if you didn't think you'd get this far WHY would you yeet yourself into lady hong's truck ;-; that's not very greatly thought out

okay i'm probably WAY overanalysing here but i remembered apples having some significant symbolism in chinese culture because we have it every new year. my dumbass assumed it was longevity like practically everything we eat at new year symbolises but i looked it up to double check and it actually represents safety. funny little easter egg miss chloe potentially dropped with rosalind buying those while hiding out at the hotel fksdjfsn

BENEDIKT

ik that we were all theorising that lourens was connected to this all but ARE YOU SERIOUS HE WORKED ON ORION FASKDJFS. everything is connected~

MARS I LOVE HIM YAY HE'S BACK I MISSED HIM

nothing more romantic than a couple fighting <3

i love how lourens is just straight up connected to every single crazy experiment in all of europe and asia. like goddamn this man is on the grind. working day and night putting his blood sweat and tears into developing every kind of supersoldier, multiple forms of mind control etc etc. this guy never rests

JULIETTE MY BELOVED. yk shit's wrong when SHE'S gotta be the reasonable one and stop rosalind from mauling a man to death

ROSORION REUNION HOLY FUCK HOLY FUCK I AM CRYING TEARS WHETHER THEY ARE OF JOY OR OF DESPAIR OR BOTH IS UP TO YOU

juliette is incorrect i absolutely need a mars/orion friendship immediately

omfg i'm glad alisa is safe

lourens is such a chad istg he shows up, cures orion, takes it upon himself to nap on roma's couch. what an icon. what a legend. he IS the moment

i take ALL of that back WTF DO YOU MEAN ROSALIND IS GONNA DIE SOON

"Orion was willing to argue with a literal rock if he suspected it had insulted her in some manner." i am melting into a puddle of jelly. i need me a man like this

couples that hate a random old man together stay together~

NO FUCKING WAY ORION AND MARSHALL HAD A FLING ASKJCNAJAN

mars is so right because jealous benedikt IS adorable

JULIETTE POV it's been so long my beloved <3

anyway it's ice cream time bitches i finish this once i've had icecream. or maybe when i wake up idfk. i don't want this to be OVER but i NEED to know how it ends. this is the real violent end fr

[house-of-lovin]

Love that J and R still flirt with each other even when pissed at the other. Like in the past when J was still pissed at R over New York but continued to flirt with her without a care in the world. Whether she knew it or not. They were still able to live in ✨domestic bliss✨ as you so truthfully called it. (Not to mention the baby fever she got) They're such a married couple istg-

-🎧

they’re just dumb idiots 😭😭

but i do enjoy that part of their relationship v much (fighting like old married couple + oblivious lovers, *chefs kiss* that shit jus does sum to me🤣)

thank you for reading babes!

[cryiling]

revalink but they're kpop idols in the same group and people make those stupid ass dating analysis/speculation videos about the both of them being a couple because their bickering comes off as flirting to everyone else 😭

stop bc this is literally yoonmin AJDBANDJ the bickering like an old married couple is SO THEM

at first I was wondering how would revali and link even be in the same group? and ik in this post you mentioned that revali probably wouldn't even be in a group, he'd be a soloist. but then I was like:

what if they were in a survival show together and they debuted in the final lineup 😵

I'm gonna be so fr I have never watched a survival show, not even i-land or boys planet, so idk how any of it works, but imo revali seems like he would be in first place throughout the show even though international fans don't like him, they're like how is he winning?? but revali is just so good (and the show is probably a little rigged since the judges have favorites, but it's not bc revali bribed them- he wants to win because he deserves it, not because of some bribery)

meanwhile, link is the fan favorite; he's charismatic and good looking, he regularly goes viral on tik tok, he does a freestyle like that one guy from bp, I think his name was woonggi? and the fans absolutely lose their mind, and link shoots up to first place. ofc revali immediately sees link as a threat, and so their (one-sided) rivalry begins (link is just vibing but revali is absolutely livid that he's second. out of 100. like that's stil reallyl good revali u can chill!!)

throughout the rest of the show the two are fighting for first place, every other voting period they've switched spots, and it's clear that they'll both make the final cut, but the real question is who's going to place first?

it's link. of course it is.

anyways they debut with hmm like 5 other ppl so it's 7 of them in the group (idk who though, don't ask me 😊🙏). and at first it's SO AWKWARD like revali is bitching about link every chance he gets and the managers are like.. can u pls stop. we keep having to edit the clips of you so you can maintain a somewhat respectable reputation 😭

the editors can do whatever they want, but at the dorms, revali and link are totally fighting each other, like istg whoever their leader is has to do some serious damage control every time one of them says something out of pocket.. revali starts talking abt how link shouldn't be on the team and the leader is like woahh hey let's not do that

that doesn't stop revali though :/

ykw does make him stop? after a huge fight where revali definitely says some things he didn't think through (I'm not gonna say bc it hurts my heart to think abt), link storms out of the dorms, and the leader (istg I'm gonna make it teba atp) is like dude u fucked up.. go apologize to him

and revali bristles and is like why should I?? but deep down he feels super uncomfortable and guilty for this whole thing, he's like have I gotten so lost in this rivalry that this is just who I am? he doesn't voice all that but he does leave to go find link, who is predictably in their practice studio. but when he gets there, he can hear crying through the door. and when revali listens closer, he hears, "I don't know, aryll, sometimes I just feel like I don't belong here. I don't know if-" a pause, a muffled sob. "I don't know if I want to do this anymore." silence, then: "i just want to do something right for once. it's never good enough."

revali backs away from the door; he's heard enough. he goes back to the dorm and straight to his room without talking to the other members. he shouldn't have been eavesdropping. and besides, if link wants to quit the group, that's not his problem, right? at least revali will finally get the spotlight.

but the thought of link being gone, it leaves a cold feeling in his gut.

umm this got dark fast and I don't like the direction I went in.. maybe their rivalry can be more lighthearted 😊 but yes anyways revali gets this wake up call and is like ohh maybe I shouldn't be an ass! and after seeing link in a new light he gains a new respect for him. so the next day after letting link calm down and after revali gathers his thoughts, he goes to talk to link and they're able to work out their differences! just kidding 😇 it's not that easy. but their dynamic does shift, and it becomes less toxic and the bickering and friendly challenging becomes more reciprocal rather than being one-sided bullying

atp it's been a little over a year since their debut, and their fans have CLEARLy noticed the positive difference in their dynamic. so ofc the crazy delulus start making dating rumors abt them! 😦 because there's no way they could have started being so nice to each other for no reason, something definitely must have happened! the rest of the fandom is clowning the shippers like ur actually so dumb for shipping them

as time passes the two are able to look out for each other but still have a sort of friendly rivalry! my brain is running out of energy to come up with things but they're literally yoonmin from bts, like look at this compilation of them bickering and tell me that's not them🧍🏻‍♀️

fans see these interactions and go crazyyy like maybe those delulu shippers weren't so delulu after all 😦 clearly they have a way different bond than with the other members, and they're constantly acting like an old married couple with the constant back and forth over literally the tiniest things. and ppl fr start making compilation videos of all their interactions and SWEAR that there's something going on, and it's literally just.. revali and link arguing whether , or link getting revali a bottle of water on stage, or revali and link on a team together during a variety show

bickering aside, though, they would privately support each other in their own ways 🥺🥺 imagining revali staying up late at the studio to practice until his voice is raw, the other members of the group have all gone to bed in the dorms but link notices that revali isn't back yet (omg bc they were roommates??👀) and so he gets up, prepares a mug of oolong tea, and brings it to the studio for revali. he makes him take a break to rest his voice, and after much convincing, link brings revali back to the dorms and makes him go to sleep

in turn, revali — who knows how vulnerable link really is to harsh criticism — takes extra care to compliment link when he thinks he does well, and to give guidance in a more constructive way. if they have a particularly good performance, he'll tell link that, and if he notices link having trouble with a certain move or part of the song, he'll talk to him privately abt it and help link improve!

honestly this whole au is giving me serious 13 iconic yoonmin moments vibes, like imagine revali stumbling across one of these revali x link compilation videos and actually looking at the way they interact with each other and going like oh. oh.

AAAAA anyways this post is so messy and the beginning didn't even end up being something I liked that much but I had fun writing this 😊 ty for the ask oomfie this was lots of fun to think abt!

[elettralightwood]

First 100 pages ✨

Imagine watching both Stiles Stilinski and Alex Claremont-Diaz playing lacrosse 😮‍💨 Alex, babes, u wanna fuck him so bad it makes you look stupid 🫶 "Alex’s kind of love story is much more Shakespearean." Someone has to tell him 💀 No cause twelve years old Alex wanting to keep a pic of Henry? Y'all are gonna have to sedate me 😃 "4. Any information regarding or involving HRH Prince Henry’s personal or private life not previously released by official Royal documents, speeches, or approved biographers, including any personal or private relationship the Guest may have with HRH Prince Henry; 5. Any information found on HRH Prince Henry’s personal electronic devices." This is actually heartbreaking ☹️ Sleepy Henry 🥹 "A blue-haired girl in the crowd lifts up a homemade poster that reads in big, glittery letters, GET IN ME, PRINCE HENRY! " OOP 💀 "He’s been aware for too long that most people don’t navigate thoughts of whether they’ll ever be good enough or if they’re disappointing the entire world." Same here my boy 🫡 All of the hospital scene is permanently engraved in my brain 😪 I'm liking this Rafael guy 😌 "Ellen says, starting on another slice crust-first." Immediately jail 😦 "Henry’s super into classical mythology" just like me 🥹 "You keep doing that stupid smile every time you look at your phone. Who are you texting?" Full on giggling 🤭 Who is writing a ff about Alex and Macron 💀 Istg i've seen every movie and tv show they talk about in this book 😎"Alex doesn’t know why Henry never responds to his selfies from bed." I might have a theory 🤔 The turkeys phone call, best thing to ever happen 🤝 "i sent pics of turkeys so i deserve pics of your animals too." ALEX U SNEAKY FUCKER 🤭 "he’s right back in his teens, caring too much about his parents and helpless to change his situation." This one hit a bit too close to home y'all 🫥 STFU HE CALLED HENRY 😭 "I don’t know. I’ve been kind of ... off ... lately.” Alex, babes 🙂 "something feels so restless and hot somewhere beneath his sternum. / He spots Alex, and his smile broadens." Two idiots in love 🤧 “Here,” Alex says, moving his own hips, “watch me.” With a grave gulp of champagne, Henry says, “I am.” Henry is holding on to his champagne for dear life. GIVE MY MAN A BREAK 💀 Alex likes the look on Henry’s face, the sure curl of his hand around the neck of the bottle, the way his lips wrap around the mouth of it. Horny jail 🚨 Maybe he can absorb some of the “much” from the place where their shoulders are pressed together. Thanks for asking, i am not well 😀 THEY KISSED MOTHERFUCKERS I AM SO UNWELL RIGHT NOW Y'ALL ARE GONNA HAVE TO SEDATE ME

"Go fuck yourself.” “Hardly enough time,” Henry says. Jaw on the floor. Left completely speechless. Iconic behavior.

“No need to apologize,” Henry tells her. “Rebel commanders outrank royalty.” He shoots Claudette a wink and a salute." Henry my beloved 😭

"a picture of Henry’s dog wearing a Slytherin scarf. (i don’t know WHO you think you’re kidding, you hufflepuff-ass bitch, Alex texts back, before Henry clarifies his dog, not him, is a Slytherin.)" This is literally a married couple.

"You are the thistle in the tender and sensitive arse crack of my life." "Thanks!" OH MY GOD 💀

"I thought you’d kill me in a more personal way. Silk pillow over my face, slow and gentle suffocation. Just you and me. Sensual.” “Ha. Well.” Henry coughs. My brother in christ was fighting for his life every second ☠️

"And I know you like Henry.” “Shut up,” Alex says. He brushes a finger under his collar and finds his skin damp. Do they always have to crank the heat up this high when it’s snowing outside? “This is interesting,” Nora observes. “No, it’s not,” Alex snaps. “Fine, he can come. But if he doesn’t know anybody else, I’m not babysitting him all night.” “I gave him a plus-one,” June says. “Who is he bringing?” Alex asks immediately, reflexively. Involuntarily. Oh he panicking panicking 🤭

"Please do smack me if this is out of line, but you are the most exquisite woman I have ever seen in my life." “You’re a charmer,” June says, smiling indulgently “And you are a goddess.” I would've blushed SO HARD.

It feels as steady and huge as the ground under their feet, as encompassing of every part of him, as likely to knock the wind out of his lungs. SHUT THE FUCK UP 😭

Whoever told me Alex wasn't in love from the start was LYING to me. He didn't realize it, yes, but boy was whipped!

Reading Red White and Royal Blue and reacting every 100 pages ❤️💙

[mazeinthemiroh]

hueningkai sfw alphabet

genre: fluff

word count: 1.8k

warnings: none

song rec: astroboy by suggi

pls like and reblog if you enjoy! feel free to request anything <3

a - affection (how affectionate are they? how do they show affection)

all in small doses

he loves gift-giving and will get you cute little gifts whenever he feels like it (which tends to be a lot of the time) he likes spending money anyway, so now he has good reason to spend it by spending it on you!

other than that he can be quite awkward at first. expressing himself verbally doesn't come naturally to him but he does like a good old cuddle

b - best friend (what would they be like as a best friend?)

he has really random energy and that will totally rub off on you

once kai is comfortable with someone he can be loud af so be warned

it's just so fun being with him. he either wants to go and do something or he wants to just laze around and do nothing all day with you

c - cuddles (would they like to cuddle? how do they cuddle?)

bro is so cuddly and i can't stress that enough

at the start of the relationship, he was hella shy so he would very rarely initiate physical affection. but once he is close to you he just wants to cuddle you all the time

he's a fluffy boi

i mean his whole bed is filled with plushies so you just know he's a massive cuddler. just scoop him up in your arms and he's putty in your hands

loves to rest his head on your chest while you run your fingers through his hair i'm so soft rn don't touch me

d = domestic (do they want to settle down? how are they at cooking and cleaning?)

oh yeah he wants to settle down

he feels once he feels mature in himself he would love to settle down with his partner. he's big on loyalty and commitment, after all

he likes to bake but his cooking skills might need a bit more work. as for cleaning, he's usually relatively clean but might just leave random things scattered around the house and forget they are there lol

e = ending (if they had to break up with their partner, how would they do it?)

it's so hard to visualise hueningkai breaking up with someone honestly

from two reasons specifically:

1. he loves commitment and doesn't think he should break up with someone over silly things or small arguments like other couples do

2. he usually dates people he can see himself marrying. he's not playing around, yk?

what i'm trying to say is breaking up with someone is a serious decision he doesn't take lightly

f = fiance(e) (how do they feel about commitment? how quickly would they want to get married?)

obviously he would loveee to get married

but he will probably consider marriage way later on in his life. after all, he is quite young still and he wants to have time to grow himself before he makes that kind of commitment

g = gentle (how gentle are they, both physically and emotionally?)

very gentle

sometimes he can be playful, sure. but even when he is playful, he is never aggressive. he keeps the play fighting to the minimum because sometimes he is unaware of his own strength and he doesn't want to accidentally hurt you 😭

h = hugs (do they like hugs? how often do they do it? what are their hugs like?)

highkey wants to hug you all the time

like please hug him istg 🥺

he's so soft and when he is feeling down sometimes all he wants to do is curl up in your arms and hug you forever

i = i love you (how fast do they say the L-word?)

it's not something he plans, that's for sure

he says it in sort of the spur of the moment, and all without giving it a second thought

he barely realises he loves you until he says it. then the pin will drop and he will suddenly realise what he has said

would probably be more shocked than you are, lol

j = jealousy (how jealous do they get? what do they do when they're jealous?)

i can see him getting jealous, but he doesn't strike me as the type to voice his jealousy

he will watch on helplessly from the sidelines rather than talk to you about it, which is bad because he's keeping all of his pent-up emotions inside instead of talking to you about how he feels

k = kisses (what are their kisses like? where do they like to kiss you? where do they like to be kissed?)

very quick pecks, especially on the cheek

honestly, in my humble opinion, he seems more like a hugger than a kisser

hugging comes more naturally to him and sometimes he can feel awkward when kissing you for the first time

but that's not to say he doesn't like it, obviously. he will usually want to kiss you when you guys are cuddling or something. but he gets super shy about it like

l = little ones (how are they around children?)

he's kinda awkward around children

just doesn't have much experience with them and therefore he has no idea how to engage with them or what to do with them

and is also super worried that they are going to hurt themselves or each other like this guy's nerves are shredded

m = morning (how are mornings spent with them?)

he's a soft boi in the morning, as he is always

will go about his morning dragging himself lazily around the house, probably half asleep

he can barely think straight so if you ask him a normal question he's like "huh?"

it's hella adorable, as you can imagine

n = night (how are nights spent with them?)

he literally wants to stay up all night watching something or playing video games

because of this, he claims he's a night owl

but in reality, as much as he wants to waste his night hours staring at a big, bright screen instead of sleeping, his brain doesn't allow him to do so

expect him to be passed out on the sofa by about 11 pm, tops!

o = open (when would they start revealing things about themselves? do they say everything all at once or wait a while to reveal things slowly?)

kai is the type to overshare things awkwardly like on the first and second date

which, as embarrassing it is for him, is actually rather endearing

he's such a cutie-pie like-

but on perhaps more personal topics, he will be much less careless. he is not used to being vulnerable and showing his emotions, and it will take him a long time to feel like he actually can

p = patience (how easily angered are they?)

hueningkai is basically never mad unless your name is MNET so there's no need to worry there

he is very considerate and mostly mild-tempered

the only scenario i can visualise him getting angry is if you absolutely annihilate him at a video game

man gets so frustrated with him hfbhdbjhfb

q = quizzes (how much would they remember about you? do they remember every little detail you mention in passing, or do they kind of forget everything?)

things fall out of his head a lot

but it's not surprising; he's got a lot on his mind. he does a physically and mentally demanding job and barely gets enough time to rest. so you can cut him some slack for sure

but he always remembers important occasions like anniversaries and birthdays, obviously

r = remember (what is their favourite moment in your relationship?)

moments where he turns to you for help or comfort

kai is very unlikely to express his emotions very regularly, preferring to keep them to himself

only sometimes, he can't bare the burden of his emotions by himself

and so the first time he turns to you for help or advice or just to have someone to talk to you, he realised how important you were to him

s = security (how protective are they? how would they protect you? how would they like to be protected?)

he's not really the protective type at first

and he doesn't expect you to be

he's just not outwardly protective like some of the others are. he will always make sure you're ok and overall he is basically more subtle

but after experiencing you protecting him in different aspects of his life, he realises that that's what he wants to make you feel like: warm and safe

t = try (how much effort would they put into dates, anniversaries, gifts, everyday tasks?)

he loves getting little gifts and nick-nacks for you uwu

gift-giving is a very common occurrence when you're dating hueningkai. he doesn't know how to express himself verbally most of the time so he's just like '... here, take my love in the form of gifts' and showers you with so many presents for no reason

a very generous soul <3

u = ugly (what would be some bad habits of theirs?)

hueningkai doesn't really have many stand-out bad habits

sometimes he finds it hard to discern whether s situation is serious or when it is a time to laugh and have fun, which can lead to many awkward situations. he's learned the hard way lol me too

v = vanity (how concerned are they with their looks?)

he likes looking good

and his confidence in his own looks fluctuates

like one day he will think he looks hot as hell and then the next day he will be crying and saying he's ugly

so give him a slap for me when he says that please and thank you 🥰

w = whole (would they feel incomplete without you?)

yes

there are not a lot of people he has deep connections with

so you, being the person he has expressed his thoughts and feelings to the most and the main person he trusts, are always in the front of his mind

x = xtra (a random headcanon for them.)

he loves clothes shopping with you??

it's a new thing he found out about himself recently; he likes it when you pick out some clothes for him that you think he would suit, and then he will do the same for you <33

he thinks it's a cute little couple thing that you both do now. so you make a day of it together, which he always looks forward to!

y = yuck (what are some things they wouldn't like, either in general or in a partner?)

he hates people who take advantage of others

it's easy to see other people's weaknesses. but exploiting and taking advantage of those weaknesses? that's a whole other story

kai also hates being betrayed in any way. it stifles his trust in others even more to the point where he doesn't know who to trust

z = zzz (what is a sleep habit of theirs?)

like i said before, he will likely fall asleep on the couch after an attempt to stay up all night playing video games

but other than that, his main habit it that he likes cuddling up to something when he sleeps

hence the avalanche of plushies on his bed

only now, he has you to cuddle <3333333

[m-jelly]

Hi Jelly, it's me ༎ຶ‿༎ຶ

This plot is inspired by jujutsu kaisen 0 btw.

(cursed reader x levi)

So... Levi was haunted by the spirit of his childhood lover, (Y/n), who died in underground. Her spirit has been cursed and (Y/n)'s spirit manifests as a monstrous titan with endless immense power who always aggressively protects Levi against his will. Her titan stayed with Levi to the day he joined the scouts and went through a lot of expedition, lending him her strength and fighting alongside him. Levi's wearing an engagement ring given by (Y/n) in the past (they exchanged rings and made a promise in the underground when they were little to get married one day), that ring allowed him to summon her titan whenever he called for her. One day when (Y/n)'s spirit in the form of a cursed titan, was fighting some titans on an expedition, her titan form sorta break/cracked open/whatever and it revealed the adult version of (Y/n). Levi was overjoyed that he finally got to see his old lover again, this time as an adult, and (Y/n) was still wearing the same ring like Levi. They reunited just like that in the middle of the expedition, Levi was eager court her and fulfill their childhood promise.

Well, there goes my modified levi x reader request for a happy ending. I asked too much and istg I've never been so guilty.. Jelly, I swear I won't bother you with my request ever again :) Thank you for being an amazing author and thank you for your hard work 😭

His protector

Pairing: Levi x Reader

Genre and tags: Modern AU, romance, titans, fluff, angst, becoming a couple.

Concept: As requested. 2nd time writing this. You become a titan due to a serum you drink that was sold to you as a fancy drink. In your titan form, you run into Levi and protect him. During an expedition, your link is broken and Levi's ring causing you to turn back into a human.

Note: Just so everyone is aware, I've never seen jujutsu kaisen 0, so it might be nothing like it at all. I will be changing a few things from the original request to fit my list of no deaths. I also honestly think that if Levi saw a titan that looked like you, he'd still kill it because he killed all those scouts who turned into titans.

Dirt kicked up, muscles ached and screamed in pain, and blood oozed and ran down your body. You glanced behind you to see the military police chasing you. You needed to escape the underground city and get back to Levi.

The pure light from above shined down. The sanctuary you once had with your lover was now your escape. Your fingers ripped and tore as you climbed the rocks to the opening. You glanced down causing a flood of memories to come back. This spot was where you and Levi lost your virginities to each other.

You dragged your body out into the sun and carried on running. You slipped back gaps in the wall and let your body lead you far away. You hated being away from your lover. Levi had promised he'd save you, but you weren't patient and needed Levi.

The further you ran, the more your broken and bleeding body got sicker. You got far away from the safety of the walls and where the titans roamed. You had no clue you'd gone the wrong way.

You stopped by a group of trees and checked your supplies, only to see you were out of everything except for your special drink. You opened the bottle and downed as much as you could and hoped Levi would forgive you for drinking the special drink for the two of you.

You dropped the bottle making it smash. You clung to your throat as you felt your veins burning. You looked at your ring as it lit up and sparked. Lightning struck you and your body grew. You stumbled around and slammed against the floor making an imprint. You pushed yourself up and moved your heavy body to the lake only to see you were a titan.

You stood up and looked at your body. Your body was similar to the female titan. You ran away and smacked titans away from you when they got close. You kept running until you reached a destroyed town.

You cried for a while before getting to work. You cleaned up the town and repaired everything you could. You killed any titans that got close to you. You wanted to make the town nice and pretty. You spent years on the town.

You made little holes and carefully moved flowers and made a nice garden. You smiled a little as you worked.

"Unbelievable."

You gasped and looked over at a roof to see a scout with glasses and hair tied back watching you.

Hange squealed. "This is amazing! An intelligent titan!"

You plucked a flower and handed it to them.

"Thank you!"

You smiled and hugged your legs. You waved to them.

"Can you speak?"

You shook your head.

"Hmm, but you're intelligent."

You nodded and stood up. You walked to your little lake and started washing your hands.

"Tch, the fuck?"

You looked over to see Levi staring at you. You touched your neck where the ring pattern was. You welled up and waved at him.

Levi frowned as he started to recognise you. He dropped his swords and said your name. "Is that you?"

You nodded and shifted closer to the building.

He reached out for you and touched your cheek. "You're beautiful. What happened?"

You mimicked drinking, then put your fingers together to show small before tapping yourself.

"You drank something."

You nodded.

"I'm sorry you...are you okay?"

You welled up. You sat and hugged yourself tightly as you hid your face.

Levi used his gear to fly over and land on your shoulder. "It's okay. I'm here now. I'm sorry I took so long...I'm sorry." He looked at the scouts moving closer. "STAND DOWN! SHE'S FRIENDLY!"

Hange joined Levi. "She's friendly! Leave her be!"

Erwin landed and raised his hand. "HOLD!" He walked closer. "You sure?"

"Yes. She cleaned this town and put it back together. She gave me a flower."

Levi looked over. "She washed her hands! She's harmless."

Erwin sighed. "We'll keep her. She'll work with us."

Hange sighed. "Good, but we should stay here. This place is safe and she'll look after us."

Levi called your name. "You'll do that, right?"

You nodded. You reached over to Erwin and offered your finger as others readied their blades.

Erwin held your finger and shook. "Welcome to the scouts."

You smiled at him. You got up and walked to your area in the town. You blushed when you heard the scout gear, meaning someone was following you. You stopped by your makeshift home and stared at your stalker.

Levi blushed when you caught him. "Ah, sorry. It's just...I missed you."

You sat down and smiled at him.

"I mean it, I missed you. I should have come to get you sooner."

You picked up Levi and brought him to your cheek and hugged him the best way you could.

Lev hugged your cheek, then he kissed your skin. "I love you. I still love you just as much as I did when we were together."

You sighed and just held him in both your hands. You smiled at him and touched his cheek with your finger. You blushed when Levi laughed a little.

Levi pushed your finger away. "That tickles." He hugged your finger tightly. "I'll protect you. I swear and I'll find a cure for you."

-------------------------------------------------

You sat on the hill and looked out at the sun setting over the land. The orange flames of light licked the rolling green hills. You launched yourself at a titan and slammed it down against the floor. You pinned it and smiled as Hange extracted things and experimented on the titan. Once done, you ripped the nape and killed it.

You washed your hands in the lake before running and attacking the next titan going for the scouts. You used all the fighting moves Levi had taught you when you were in the underground city together. You cleaned out the area for the scouts allowing them to retake the land.

You smiled when Levi flew over to you and landed on your shoulder.

Levi hugged your neck. "Are you okay? Are you hurt?"

You picked Levi off your shoulder and held him. You smiled at him to let him know you were okay.

He sighed and hugged your hand. "I'm glad." He kissed your hand and smiled. "I will fix this."

You looked away from Levi as you felt a weight in your chest.

"I swear it. You'll be human again."

You looked back and smiled.

He blushed a little and showed you his left hand. "We made promises together, remember?" He kissed your hand. "We'll marry."

You nodded and touched your neck where the symbol of your ring was.

Erwin flew over to you and called your name. "We're going to try the summoning again."

You put Levi down on the floor. You waved to Levi before running away.

Erwin sighed. "Go ahead Levi."

Levi looked at his ring, then shouted your name. Lightning hit the ground in front of him. Levi was lifted off the ground with you on his shoulder. Levi held your hair and smiled. "I like how you're with me whenever I ask for you."

You blushed and moved him off your shoulder and onto the ground. You petted Levi's head and got up.

Erwin held his hand up. "Rest. You've done enough."

You nodded and walked to the town, but Levi shouted your name.

Levi landed on your shoulder. "Where are you going? We go together. You know I sleep with you."

You blushed and hurried to your home. You moved Levi off you and got into your sleeping area.

Levi walked inside. "Tch, oi! Don't push me away." He walked closer and sat on the bed near your head. "I'm never leaving you again. I love you."

You smiled at him. You pulled him and held him against your chest, which meant the poor man was between your boobs.

Levi cleared his throat. "I uhh...night."

-----------------------------------------------------

You grabbed a titan and threw them away from the scouts. You ripped another's head off and kicked one more. You gasped when a group of titans rushed you. You kicked and punched your way through them, but you knew you were going to end up getting hurt.

Levi shouted your name when he saw you were getting swarmed. He flew over and sliced through napes. He looked down at his left hand and saw the stone in his ring crack just as a titan bit your neck where your ring pattern was.

Levi screamed. "GET AWAY FROM HER!" He cut the titan biting you, then flew over and landed on your shoulder. "Talk to me. Are you okay?"

You ran with Levi now you were free. You panted and fell to the floor.

Levi shouted your name. "No, no, no, no!" He looked at his ring and saw the stone explode. He panicked as steam came from your body. "No!" He shook as your titan body slowly disappeared. "No."

He sobbed your name but noticed a body. He called your name and jumped down to the body emerging. He grabbed it and pulled to reveal a grown-up you. All this time in the titan you'd been aging normally.

Levi turned you in his arms and cradled you. "Talk to me. Come on, talk to me."

You opened your eyes and smiled. "Levi? How?"

He kissed you as tears rolled down his cheeks. "You're alive! Your curse is broken."

You wrapped your arms around his neck and squeezed him. "I can hold you. I can finally hold you. I've waited so many years for this. So many."

He let out a long sigh. "It was worth the wait. You are perfect." He stood up with you, then used his gear to move you to safety. "I'll protect you. I swear I will. We'll get married like we promised and I'll get that teashop started."

You smiled at Levi. "I can't wait. Right now I need to sleep."

"I'll rest with you. I need to hold you."

You hugged Levi and hummed. "I'd like that."

[chickensarentcheap]

Esme post :)

A little something for @tragiclyhip​

@secretaryunpaid​, @youflickedtooharddamnit​

​

Sometimes, when Tyler is going to be away for longer than anticipated and things aren’t considered dangerous, unstable, or unpredictable, I pack all the kids up and we go and visit him.   Nothing like an adventure! This is our view from our hotel suite in Dubrovnik, Croatia. An absolutely stunning place that we definitely need to come back to.  

I’m not saying I’m spoiled, but yeah....I’m spoiled.  lol

Renovations complete! Our new master bedroom :

When your husband gets a lull in business and hates to sit still and is very good with his hands (not just dirty ways, get your minds out of the gutter),  he discovers projects to immerse himself in. Add in the fact he knows napping is one of my favourite past times, and you get something like this:

Off to a friend’s wedding. And not to upset the bride, but I’m gonna have the hottest guy there 

Okay, maybe fishing isn’t THAT boring. Maybe I will tag along.

On a side note:   we’ve been married ten years and I’m still trying to figure how he keeps his shorts on ;)

Thirteen going on twenty-three, ISTG.   No wonder I have so much gray hair. 

#sheisgorgeous  #wemakeprettybabies #geneticjackpotfirstkidin

Only ten minutes before this, there was absolute pandemonium in our house.  He had the mask and snuck in through the garage and the next thing I knew, kids were crying screaming in terror and little bodies were running in every different direction and knocking each other over  to escape.  Throwing one another to the proverbial wolves in an effort to survive. It was every kid for themselves! lol

He better not to be thinking about drinking MY margarita. I will fight him to the death over my margies.   I have skills, people. SKILLS.  

 My husband recorded me telling him a joke (it was lame, I admit) and damn it if he didn’t get one of the kids to make gifs out of it.   

I don’t know whether to be impressed he even thought of doing it or mad that he did and send his ass to the couch for a couple nights lol

Determined to  avenge  his mother and restore my honour, Tanner took this and sent it to me while I was at the bookstore. With the caption:  “Reminded me of dad’s feet.”  I must have laughed for a good ten minutes. I won’t remind him that he and all his brother and sisters inherited those big ass, monkey toed feet.  LOL. 

He was doing his work out outside and then it suddenly got really quiet so I got worried and went out to check on him and found this. 

Is he dead?  Should I check? Does he need CPR?

“Crocs are cool, dad!”

Yessssss.  You tell him, Tazzie. 

I’ve got one on my side, at least.

Shortly after this, he uncharacteristically passed Addie over and I quickly realized why he made the face he did. In true Rake fashion, that kid can clear a house, never mind just a room.

#stinkyass

Thank you, Koen! OMG. Look at that face.

Tae sent this to me (a little gift from my sis) and asked me how old I was in the pic.

Me: “Nineteen. Why?”

Him: “I so would have dragged you off and banged you in the bathroom.”

Who says romance is dead?

[ennoshawty]

HQ CAPTAINS AS THINGS

i was bored and felt like doing a crackfic thing but i didn’t have any solid themes or good ideas

SO I PRESENT TO YOU - THE CAPTAINS. AS THINGS. IDK HOW TO WORD THIS BUT YOU’LL SEE AS WE GO ALONG.

warnings: VERY LONG, slandering a crybaby oikawa (lovingly), mentions f!reader, shitposting, mentions of violence in kita's, (a bit) yandere!kita, cursing, unedited, me being an idiot

officer!daichi

we are: vigilante/troublemaker

loving the enemies-to-lovers trope so much

nah bro you ain’t full criminal (bc my preppy ass could never) you just do the small vandalism things y’know like drawing peepees on government buildings and knocking over bins

u literally confessed to him by spraypainting the entire billboard by his workplace “I LIKE YOU” like way to go girl

He didn’t appreciate the creative graffiti but he rlly likes u so all u had to do was clean it and then next thing u know yall are out on a cute cafe date

but let’s talk about before yall got together

he’d CHASE u thru alleyways when he’d catch you writing “police sux” on the fuckin wall

bro is NOT AT ALL afraid to jump onto the roofs it’s FRIGHTENING to see this huge ass police officer storm after u

HES SO FAST HOT DAMN WOMAN HOW DO U GET AWAY FROM HIM??? USAIN BOLT WHOMST???

you’d almost always get away by a hair - he’s SO SO close

and it frustrates him but excites u oooooo arrest me shawty

and this would continue for a while

but yall have such fun fun banter - you’d tease him and he’d say something back and you’d bolt and he’d chase

some days he’d catch you. but in those times u slip away somehow

he’s having so much fun and doesn’t even know it

and then at one point he doesn’t even care about bringing u to justice anymore. he knows it’s bad for business and it’s unprofessional but he’s so attracted to u

he doesn’t even know it. HES IN DENIAL!!! his mind: “oh i’m just asking about her so that i know her motives” bruh no u just asked about our fav pastry this aint about crime anymore

and when he finally gets it,,,DINGDINGDINGDING SOUND THE ALARMS !!! MAN IS WHIPPED!! he’s more shy around u awww,,,doesn’t even want to chase u anymore but he will still engage in banter w u.

yall get a little peace treaty in the lil crush stage - you both are kinda aware of ur feelings towards each other but don't really wanna mess it up and jeopardize whatever's going on like bros PLEASE JUST KISS ITS INFURIATING

it’s more of a competition to see who will break the other first (and you lost he’s too hot)

he lets u joyride his cop car in an empty parking lot <3 he is the one <3 this is true love

u gotta marry him right now bro no excuses

u are no longer on the crime side of the law,,,u support him and only him fuck the rest of the cops (i’m jk of course...or am i)

u are his badass sidekick <3 unofficially of course until he marries u

u help him with the small things like helping lost children find their parents and helping old ladies cross the street

but you want to do the FUN stuff - chasing thieves and arresting drunkards.

unfortunately, he loves u too much to put u in danger so he keeps u from doing the dangerous things

after some protesting later, he trusts u to take care of urself. and now yall have a competition just like old times - whoever catches the most baddies at the end of the month wins (he WILL scold u if ur too reckless though)

THE TWO OF U ARE JUST GOOD COP BAD COP UHAHAHAHAHAHA

but it’s much more complicated than that - it’s either ur the laidback one and he’s the strict one or ur the fiery one and he’s the person like “calm down”

PLEASE HE HATES BRINGING U TO INTERROGATIONS he’s trying to be serious but you keep making him laugh istg he has to kick u out each time

u still make him laugh when u pout-glare at him thru the glass

bro says he’s not the stereotypical cop but the moment u surprise him with donuts and coffee in the morning he will make out w u right then and there

even though yall dating he still won’t let u play with his equipment

but sometimes u grab his walkie talkie when he’s not looking and prank call the others

and his coworkers know by now they’re like “oh it’s daichis gf” and go along with it HAHAHAHA “this is alpha 1, daichi just contracted ligma, over.” “roger, but what’s ligma? over.” “*inhale* LIGMA-” *daichi takes the walkie talkie back*

his coworkers are chill lmaoooo they love u two as a couple THEY ARE VERY SUPPORTIVE they planned a surprise anniversary party of when u joined the force (unofficially)

the juniors tanaka and noya are jelly ooooo but they respect their captain <3

u loooooove hanging out w the starry-eyed new recruit hinata and he’s bouncing around asking u personal questions “how did you date the commander!!! what’s he like as a bf??” he also accidentally exposes how much daichi talks about u in the office before he drags him away and murders him off camera

he does get u a walkie talkie that’s just connected to his line, tho. for emergencies. it’s ur second phone basically that only has his number in it

daichi LOVES it when u massage him after he’s had a long day but his shoulders are stiff as a statue,,,he’s also super stronk and can carry u anywhere <333

IMAGINE HE HAS A POLICE DOG - he doesn’t, but he’ll get one of his buddies to bring u a k9 unit so u can pet it and when he sees how happy u are he considers getting one PLSSS IT WOULD FIT HIM HELPPP

bro is VERY strict on safety. bulletproof glass in yalls house. alarms + cameras everywhere. trackers on every device. underground bunker. (just kidding lol)

daichi teaches u self-defense and gets u a bejeweled taser for ur bday <333 MARRY THIS MAN RIGHT NOW OR I’LL-

in other words i love daichi and he is husband material WIFE ME UP BUDDY

househusband!oikawa

we are: girlboss sugar mommy

somehow you tamed this bish to becoming your obedient malewife

and by obedient i mean whiny but compliant

IS MORE ATTACHED TO YOUR BLACK CARD THAN TO YOU. I SAID IT. THE TRUTH.

sure, he’s pretty and gives affection sometimes but the only time he’s bein cute and snuggly w u is when a new fendi purse came out and he wants it

his specialty is cooking but he’s so lazy he’s all “just get the maid to do it”

please give ur workers a raise he’s so demanding

when you take him to ur business parties hes ALWAYS bragging about you and ur large house with this and that and his favorite: indoor hot tub. he always brings up the indoor hot tub.

only reason you bring him is cuz he’s pretty and he whines when you leave him alone for too long

yall cant even stay for too long - he’ll practically drag u out of the building and whining that it’s too hot and his suit is too stuffy and to call a limo

he’s not afraid to embarrass u if u dont give him what he wants and he will spit out food at a formal dinner if its not to his liking

probably in competition w househusbands! makki and mattsun about who gets the best house so he’s constantly begging u for an extension to the house “please babe!!! makki has-” “no.”

8/10 times throws tantrums in public and 1465/10 times throws tantrums in the house

he wants to cry for the sake of crying. one time he lost his shirt and he wouldn’t stop bawling for 15 min

please find him a hobby

crybaby . the moment u give him the glare of death it’s over. but he’s got a cute crying face which makes up for his annoying whimpering

like he made the mistake of throwing a temper tantrum in the mall only for you to glare at him with a look that said “we’re discussing this when we get home and you’re gonna get your ass beat” and walk away. immediately stopped what he was doing and he was running after u, sniffling and mumbling apologies

please humble him and have him sleep outside. the couch is too luxurious to banish him to. he made sure of it himself. it’s reclining and has charging ports. he will not learn his lesson that way

does NOT want you to get a pet or a kid or even another sugar baby/househusband - he wants to be the center of ur attention

speaking of which he HATES it when you work for too long or work overseas. when u come back he’ll pout at u and give u the petty silent treatment

don’t bother trying to comfort him he thrives off of it and he’ll keep going so u can keep paying attention to him. if u just ignore him back he’ll come crawling back to u. “WHY ARE YOU IGNORING ME IGNORING YOU?? DO YOU EVEN LOVE ME ANYMORE???”

one time yall got into a fight and he was all like “since ur being a rude mommy i’ll just find someone else !!!” inside u were like “oh god finally” but instead u said “okay”

ohmygod he panicked. he was rlly expecting for u to fight for him,,, but he doesn’t want to admit defeat first so he tries to go thru with it but you literally dont care. even when he has his chanel luggage packed and he’s standing by the door ur just like “ok bye bitch”

So he’s trying to stand by the door and wait for u to say that ur joking. ur not.

“fine! I’m leaving now!” “okay.” “...*sniffles*” “tooru, go.” “WAAAAH NO IM SORRY I DONT WANT TO-”

u knew this was going to happen sadly. u even hid the keys to all of the sports cars u own just in case he was actually going to go thru with it

tries to get in the gossip circle with the neighborhood trophy wives but they don’t think he’s cool enough. they like u though. they think ur hot asf and oikawa doesn’t like them no more bc theyre hitting on his ATM. but thanks to that u know all the gossip and shit even though u don’t ask for it

Every time u pass by a store where he thinks he wants something he’ll just cling to u and give the puppy dog eyes. like it could be out of nowhere and u see it and you’re like “where. which store.”

bro once he went luxury he never went back. he wouldn’t EVER step foot into a grocery store ever again congrats he’s been bimbo-ified

beat him with ur gucci belt pls it’s so funny

also please please PLEASE discipline him. tell him it’s NOT okay to just randomly purchase the entire swarovski store or to throw a party at ur house just bc he’s feeling petty about u being at work for too long. ofc he’ll bitch about it but you need to be firm

but don’t worry,,,he’ll get the idea when u take away black card privileges and slap him around (lovingly)

now he has to ask permission like a good boy. he’ll kneel and hug u and give a lil pout and whine

you got a bigass man child i’m sorry maam u should’ve picked tobio or ushi

ceo!kuroo

we are: secretary

bruh keeps it mostly professional during work hours

but that all gets shedded off like a snake when we on break

one minute he’s all “get these papers done by today or i swear on all that is holy i will destroy you” and then later he’s all “hey sweetheart wanna grab a cup of coffee”

flirty flirty FLIRTY FLIRTY AAAAA HES A MENACE

but you’re less than impressed bc y’know when the time clocks out and its time to go back to work he’s ruthless once more

HUMBLE HIM FOOL only when you’re on break though

will NOT stand for anyone else in the workplace bullyin u - NO WAY. only HIM

he’s got TONS and TONS of dirt on everyone in the office - NO ONE is safe so they wouldn’t even dare

RIP janet from accounting

that dumb bitch made the mistake of insulting u to ur face and in front of him. never heard from her again

it’s not even limited to the other employees - he’s not afraid to go off on a potential business partner if they dared disrespect you

bruh tries to call u on ur off days for the most randomest shit and to get ur attention

*picks up phone* “sir?” “ah! my favorite secretary ever! listen, i need you to grab my pens from my desk at the office and bring them to my place.” “...with all due respect, it’s 2 am, sir.”

but u have to comply with his ridiculous demands cuz he’s the bank

and he depends on u completely. as much as he hates to admit it - u have his schedules, itinerary, provide coffee, performance rates, stock info, you name it.

once u were out sick and he had the worst management - he’s not used to working without you

def tries to get some of ur workload off of u bc he’s worried that the stress of working for him made u sick + he doesn’t want to go thru scheduling again

prolly gets bored in meeting rooms and sends u little smirks and wiggles his eyebrows and weird looks while he’s sitting and ur standing in the corner like bruh pay attention

maybe sometimes he’s secretly makin fun of the presenter and doodling on his spare sticky note something funny to make u crack a smile

he’ll tease u for it of course “oh, secretary! you should be paying more attention! what would you do if this was important?” bruh i can multitask now keep airdropping me ur selfies i’m saving all of them (news flash: u dont save his dumbass selfies otherwise his ego will inflate too much)

sometimes likes to pull u aside from work to hug u - you say it’s highly unprofessional but he says it’s his stress reliever

you ALMOST got caught by one of the newbies and he was kabedon-ing you

he tries to play it off (since u were embarrassed too) but u know better,,,DO NOT LET HIM FORGET ABOUT IT he turns red and embarrassed every single time USE THIS TO UR ADVANTAGE !!

never goes into an elevator without you bruh is so attached to u n holds the doors open for you

but you have to open normal doors for him if he doesn’t know how it works (hint: manual doors. “why isn’t it opening on its own?” “sir, there’s a handle.” “but?? what does it do??”)

bruh acts like a dumbass sometimes so you can baby him :/// wtf man just because you’re rich doesn’t mean i’ll- ...wait...how much did you say…? that many zeros? HAND ME THAT FORK YES I’LL FEED YOU COME HERE- HERE COMES THE AIRPLANE BITCH

brings u to overseas trips and he spoils u too

no matter how much you insist that you’re ok he gives u a lot of luxurious items. “think of it as a bonus from me.” NOW YOU JUST HAVE A COLLECTION OF NICE SHOES/BAGS/JEWELRY AND HE LOVES IT WHEN YOU WEAR THEM TO WORK IT MAKES HIM SO HAPPY UGHHHHH

BRUH just a sugar daddy at this point “you have to look presentable for the next focus group so here’s a nice rolex watch” “sir, i don’t need-” “ah ah ah - it’s my treat.”

it’s pointless to refuse him but he still teases u for it like what???? “if i didn’t know any better, secretary, i’d say you’re just doing it for my money and not my fabulous looks and personality.” “exactly.” “hey!”

yall go for drinking parties a lot. whether with the whole branch or just the two of u

KARAOKE W KUROO AFTER A LONG DAY OF WORK <333 becomes a ritual between the two of u

he’s so silly when he’s drunk lmfaoooo goofy ass mf

but that’s only when it’s the two of u. he controls his alcohol around others and his uncool side is only for u <3

also ur the only one he trusts to take him back to his place and handle him

it’s the other way around too - when u drink a lot he looks after you <333

you have a higher tolerance than him and sometimes u have competitions between the two of u on who can drink more but then yall always end up shitfaced

HES the one who has a crush on you

you know the drill - gaslight gatekeep girlboss

he’ll do anything for u but wouldn’t ever admit it he simp

offers u the keys to his estate and offers for you to LIVE with him

bruh just marry me already ok WAIT WE’RE NOT EVEN DATING YOU NEED TO WORK ON THAT SIR-

he’s so awkward tryna confess to u,,,he may be this big hotshot ceo but he’s acting like a schoolgirl in love

probably prints u a confession when he asks u to go to the fax machine lmfao what a nerd

in other words ceo!kuroo is a nerd and you need to top him immediately get that bank

dog hybrid!bokuto

we are: owner

Husky-malamute breed!!! BEEG DOGGIE VERY HAPPY N DROOLY <333

OVERLY HYPER. JUMPS ON ANYONE AND U AT ANY GIVEN MOMENT

he’s well trained i swear but the moment he sees something of interest then i’m sorry you just lost him

please if a robber came in he wouldn’t even attack them he’d just tackle them w hugs

he loves loves loves snuggles <333 u busy? nope!!! hug time!!! cooking something?? oo lemme see!!! whoops look at all those tomatos on the ground. u got a deadline coming up and u really need to focus?? CUDDLE TIIIIIIME- w-wait - huh?? why are u shoving me off?? do you - do you not - huh?!?! WHY ARE YOU LOCKING ME OUT OF THE ROOM?? NO!!!! I LOVE YOU!!! IDK WHAT EXAMS ARE BUT I WANT CUDDLES!!! HOW COULD YOU DO THIS TO ME????!!!

the WORST things u could ever do to him is leave him and call him a bad boy

HE CRIES ON THE SPOT </3 HOW COULD YOU </3

soso bummed when u go out of the house without him </333 waits by the door patiently waiting for u to come back </333 sob sob

the moment he hears the door unlock he LEAPS and his tail is wagging like CRAZY

he is SO STRONG. almost always knocks u over whenever he jumps on u

destroys EVERY toy u bring him. u leave him for 5 seconds and there’s stuffing all over the floor and whatever u brought him is nonexistent

tugs on the leash when u walk so much that it SNAPS

loves romping w the other dogs in the dog park but he needs to tone down on his friendliness he almost killed a lil orange chihuahua

gets distracted by EVERYTHING. ooh, squirrel! oo, butterfly! OOO HUMAN CHILD!! MUST EAT!!!

ok while he might be friendly, he still gets super super jealous. you both were outside and u were petting the neighborhood black cat and bruh almost swallowed his head

which u thought was weird bc the two are normally friends and are pretty nice around each other

so now he’s more feisty around him and any other cat that’d get ur attention

If it was a person, then that’s another thing. He’d be very friendly at first but then slowly realize that ur attention is more directed on them than him. then he’d go ballistic

but when u scold him for practically assaulting the poor dude and call him a bad boy,,,he’s lost it

u have to lock him in the other room and he’s crying and whimpering, scratching at the door. all he wanted to do was protect u from that bad bad man who took away his owner’s attention !!!

def snarls at the dude next time he comes into ur house/apartment...dude never came back

“GRRR” “AAAA GET UR FRIGGIN DOG B-” “he don bite” YES IT DO GET UR-”

doggie bokuto rlly tries to be slick...it doesn’t work. like he tries to do that thing when he’s a total demon towards the guy but then act like an angel around u but it doesnt work bc he’s not smooth

doggie intelligence: 2 IQ. one time u got him a puzzle box and hid a treat in it but bruh couldnt figure it out just straight up monched the entire puzzle simply bc he smelled his fav bbq treat in it

speaking of intelligence - he only knows how to say a few words like ur name and incomplete sentences. speaks in barks and whines and sometimes a word

SO BIG THAT HE GRABS FOOD FROM THE TABLE WHEN YOU’RE NOT LOOKING

u had some delicious beef steak? oh dear, where did it go? there’s ur puppy kou with steak sauce all over his lips

big fan of hiking trips, sports, literally anything that involves going out

he LOVES getting dirty outside playing. boi cant control himself from rolling around in the mud

hates baths at first but then he likes how u spray the water on him and giggles awww he likes bath time now

we all know he’s not the brightest pup of the pack but,,,he’s somehow psychic. he knows when ur taking him to the vet

HE THROWS A BIG FUSS ALL THE TIME - sometimes he tries to hide but his huge tail under the couch gives it away

and he knows when ur thinking of taking him on a walk. he also begs u to take him outside by settling his head in ur lap and pouting until u give him what he wants

he likes the big ol doggie sweaters/pjs u buy him...but he always ruins them. no matter how much u buy him, they’re all ruined. he complains how scratchy it is and it feels weird on him

knows LOTS of tricks but if u teach him more than what he already knows he will forget one of them he’s like a damn pokemon

he feels ur emotions :((( if ur mood is down his tail droops :(( and he gives u cuddles and tries to make u feel better

he even likes to make a fool out of himself and be silly if it makes u laugh :((( he’s so precious

in other words i love doggy bokuto

pirate!ushijima

we are: kidnapped

ah yes we’re are captives of the most fearsome pirates of the seas: shiratorizawa

just so you know, tendou was the instigator. he was all “let’s kidnap a noble’s kid and get the ransom money!” (whether you actually are a noble or not is up to you)

thing is, nobody’s willing to pay (if you aren’t a noble) or the pirates really pissed off the folks in charge and are now doing a manhunt

so yeah you aren’t going back anytime soon

but he’s a pretty good sport about it - very hospitable

he notices the little things u like and gets them for u <333 sighs <333

he saw you reading that book? wow look at that, there’s suddenly a stack of them and the same genre he saw you reading

but you definitely shouldn’t test him. he’s SUPER scary when it comes down to it

you saw how ruthless he was with the rogues that had dared to challenge him on sea

mf made them walk the plank

you help on the ship bc u wanna be useful and also shirabu keeps being mean

he asks u to teach the crew how to read cuz theyre dumb as shit and only know water and treasure

speaking of treasure - when he leaves u on the ship to explore a cave, he gets u really pretty jewelry <33 anything u ask for

“oh, welcome back captain. how was your mission?” “i brought back a few trinkets i thought you might like.” *reveals whole chest of priceless gems* “are they to your liking? if not, we can set sail for something else that might interest you.” “I-”

bruh got a pet eagle - u ask the crew and they dont even know how tf it happened

hell, even he doesn’t know how it happened wtf. “oh. one day it flew down to me and i fed it. that’s all.” wtf

equivalent to diluc’s bird - he didn’t even give it a name so he gives u the honors

U name him rigatoni (you got a great naming sense btw)

oh my god oh my god oh my god HE TRIES TO PROTECT U WHEN PPL WERE TRYNA INVADE THE SHIP

it was the first thing he did no cap - burst into ur room and scoops u up <33333

“what the-” “we need to get you to safety. we are under attack.” and holds u close to his chest AAAHSIDHFPSDHFN OH MY LORD YES

HAS THE TEAM GIVE U SELF DEFENSE LESSONS AFTER THAT

tendou tries to give u a sword but ushi says no “she could hurt herself.”

“but ushiwaka! we can teach her not to hurt herself” “...it’s my orders.” “c’mon, be more honest, ushiwaka! what’s the real reason?”

he goes quiet then looks at u “...i’ll always be there to help. she’ll have me.” AOISHSDHFSNDF

HELPPPPP SIOJFDSKFJP HES SO CHARMING AND HE DOESNT EVEN TRY

but the rest of the crew are like “then what’s the point”

but tendou sneaks u a dagger just to be safe

sorry ur apart of the crew now - but they’re like a family even if they did kidnap u

oh whatever your life before wasn’t as cool as this (no offense)

they are given orders to protect u at all costs

speaking of which - ushi isn’t all that great w guns

almost blew his own head off tryna figure out how it works before reon snatched it from him

he brings you with him to towns and cities and he likes taking u to the markets to get you stuff

ushijima tell me your love language is gift-giving without telling me your love language is gift-giving-

he finds out you’re pretty good at bargaining and brings you onshore a lot more

is mesmerized at how you absolutely BERATE the merchant who was tryna rip you off like sis where is this violence coming from??? he loves it??

he also likes to stop by some pretty islands and imagines just settling down in such a nice place w you <333 SIGHS <333 VERY <333 LOUDLY <333

no matter how much he likes you...he will NOT let you drive the boat under any circumstances </3 its his livelihood c’mon man

whenever you have to stay on the ship while he’s away he sends rigatoni to give messages and the two of u talk thru messages

speaking of which rigatoni is fierce and can definitely sink his talons and his sharp beak into any bastard that dares get near you while the captain is away

wakatoshi “swimming is for pussies” ushijima - he’s water resistant

bruh so powerful he walks on water

second coming of christ who

IM JUST KIDDING he does swim but we hardly ever see it

legends say (tendou says) he looks rlly awkward doing it and only knows how to doggie paddle

speaking of our homeboy tendou - he loooves spooking the team (and especially you) with scary stories . don’t worry tho - this is all a ploy to get the beeg pirate husband to comfort u at night ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) he is ur wingman u can count on him. but his suggestions are ridiculous

“Jump off the deck and see if he’ll catch you!” um excuse me- THOU SHALT NOT PUT BIG HUSBAND TO THE TEST

he’s got good intentions...i think…

but everyone literally knows he would dive after you

in other words pirate!ushijima is a softie at heart but goddamn he probably secretly has a pet shark so dont test him or u goin overboard

mafia leader!kita

we are: associate from different group/family

kita highly respects u and yall have been acquainted since u were young with the alliance of ur families

so in a way ur childhood friends but yall do have lil bit of friendly rivalry a bit

arranged marriage whuuuutttt...yeah thats what happened but u love him <3

nobody else knows about ur arranged marriage but you two

POLITE GENTLEMAN <333 !!! HNNNNNNNN his granny raised him right even tho he’s a mafia leader

RICH BOY RICH BOY RICH BOY- ALWAYS DRESSES DASHINGLY AND SMELLS GREAT MMMMMM

he owns the majority of the underground casinos

and has lots of connections with others. countless, might i add.

you on the other hand specialize as an arms dealer so he cherishes your services the most

prob has the traditional tattoos allllll over his back and shoulders w like a dragon or sm and def a fox or kitsune

when u two were little he asked ur favorite flower and GOT THAT TATTOOED ON HIS BACK <3 probably secretly has your initials hidden in there somewhere

u both have a silent understanding of each other and he talks to u more than he does anyone

before he used to smoke but once he figured out that you didn’t like the smell of cigarettes he quit just like that

his underlings, the miya twins are so confused on how kita switches from totally brutal and ruthless to so soft around u

they can’t tease him for it, though, cuz he’d pulverize them

but they want to know more about u,,,you mysterious enigma,,,but kita would kill them if they dared asked about you

so they go to inarizaki’s most secretive informant/cyber mercenary, suna rintarou

and suna knows all about you. he saw you one time and he was curious about who you were and is now rlly scared of you because he dug too deep and you’ve got LOTS of history

he doesn’t dare tell the twins what he found no matter how much they bug him

until they bribe him at just the right price

and when aran finds out and tells kita?? ohhh boy it’s lights out for all three of them

oh my god ,,, would kill for u he loves u so much

one time you were kidnapped and held hostage

bro saw red

MAFIA ANNIHILATION SPEEDRUN ANY % NO GLITCH

he got world record time

wiped out the entire conglomerate behind it - nothing and nobody left behind after that

and of course, made sure you were safe.

yandere? ofc not...i mean...just look at him...so innocent...he would never...sharpening that knife...with splattered blood all over him...

is now joined at the hip with u,,,no matter how much you tell him you’ll be fine now and that you have tons of reliable bodyguards he won’t let it go

“don’t you have to go back to your place?” “this is my duty as both a fellow associate and your future husband.” aww,,,ur so sweet...but BRUH PLEASE GO HOME ARAN IS DOING EVERYTHING OVER THERE

makes sure to build a headquarters DIRECTLY NEXT TO YOURS so that its faster

and it’s not long until he just signs a deal to merge ur factions together (since yall getting married anyways)

and oh my god...ur underground wedding is SO SO PRETTY

absolutely DOESN’T care if he’s smuggling jewels from different countries - he’s having your ring CUSTOM MADE and the way you want it. “the diamond is too small? sure thing, darling, i’ll have it 7 times that size.”

makes sure everything is perfect in ur wedding <333 its very extravagant and even though its not really his style he’ll do anything for you

he absolutely WOULD take your last name if you wanted. FIGHT ME ON THIS

takes you to his private island for ur honeymoon so that the two of you don’t have to worry about work

meanwhile aran is scrambling around the place trying to cover for the both of you

he’s a VERY romantic husband - NEVER takes off his ring even for security. he says its practically a part of him just like you are <3

the ring has a built in tracker connected to an app. possessive? noooo...

in other words this escalated pretty quickly but i aint complaining if it gets me married to kita

--

--EXTRA EXTRA!! other characters’ roles!!--

officer!daichi:

karasuno squadron consists of:

cops: daichi (duh), asahi (mostly patrol, he hates confrontation), tanaka & noya (mostly accompanied by ennoshita), hinata & kageyama

investigators/detectives: sugawara, ennoshita, yamaguchi, tsukishima, kiyoko, yachi

surveillance: narita, kinoshita, tsukishima too

househusband!oikawa:

makki and mattsun are also househusbands

iwaizumi is a malewife fhasodjkasdhf-

ceo!kuroo:

lev is the newbie that walked in on u two-

janet still a bitch

kenma is his fellow ceo buddy. he also owns a multimillion dollar company and kuroo’s and his have a sort-of contract so you see him a lot in meetings

yaku is like one of the top performing managers so whenever yall have branch meetings he’s there

dog hybrid!bokuto:

kuroo is the black neighborhood cat bokuto almost murdered cough cough i did that on purpose yes i did

kenma is also another neighborhood cat. you don’t see him around that often but now that bokuto got jealous he stays far away.

hinata is the orange chihuahua i briefly mentioned

i couldn’t decide whether akaashi would stay human and be his previous owner or also be a cat/dog/owl. so lets say he’s ur human friend that is your bestie and comes over a lot. bokuto likes him, though. still gets jealous a bit.

pirate!ushijima:

tendou is practically is right hand man

the rest of the team have something to give idk how to explain pirate team members okay-

BUT BUT BUT- they do have sea rivals which are the seijoh pirates. you ran into them one day and oikawa thought you were kidnapped (you were, but you liked it there) so he tried to do you justice and failed miserably. ushijima ragdolled him into the ocean when he flirted w you.

mafia!kita:

the twins are something akin to mercenaries basically. or just plain lackeys.

suna is an informant/cyber mercenary. he gathers information about ppl which is how he knew about you. and he’s a hacker lol.

aran is his second-in-command, omimi + ginjima are his bodyguards

a/n: im going to regret posting this

[mochiajclayne]

Zosan Crumbs in One Piece Episode 981 (Part 2 out of 3)

They’re fighting like an old married couple. Istg these two makes me happy. 😂

[incorrectsnkaotquotes]

How were they not fucking gay

Istg they even fight like an old married couple and Jean really did say they belong together

[khaleesiofalicante]

To burn the witch is to admit that magic exists. ~ Erin Anastasia

Report? ✨Written✨

Notes? ✨Taken✨

Assignments? ✨Delivered✨

Work? ✨Done✨

Stability after this chapter? ✨Nonexistent ✨

Ok, yeah. I'm still missing some assignments and reading a book on one day, but it's an improvement!!!

“I just like that you are really smart and competent,” Alec said matter-of-factly. “So, it’s just like one big kink.” Can we really blame Alec??

For Lilith’s sake! Goddamn, this man!

Magnus crossed his arms. “What exactly are you insinuating, Alec?”

“Something is bothering you and I’d like you to talk to me about it,” Alec said gently.

I just love how Alec knows something is worrying Magnus with all the small details🥺 also yess!! Malec communicating and being an old married couple is>>>

His Blueberry has always been a little mad and a little desperate. That’s what made him Max.

Warlock math and Max was a dangerous combination.

Nico, I love you, babe, but Magnus is right!!!

“Okay,” Alec said again. “Is there something I can do?"

Alexander

This man ISTG- 😭😭

Not you too!!! I have enough couple angst, I don't need y'all to start fighting right now when my emotional stability depends on you!!😭😭

He had the face of a warlock. Idk what that is supposed to mean, but I am scared:))

Oh, so Claire was talking about schizophrenia!! But, like, did her family had schizophrenia, or did they have the sight??? I am confusion🙂

"Your son wouldn’t be trying to destroy someone else’s home if he felt safe in his own one.” He just called out the entire Devlin family and I love him for that 😎

Alec was still frowning. “Did he look familiar to you? He looked familiar to me.” oh shit. This is no good. I feel the foreshadowing in my bones!!! Or wait, was this about the time they met?? :o

Alec reassuring Jace💙💙💙

Look, I am shit worried about everything rn but Gabriel going feral is😍😍 I am just a simp for them don't @ me!!

You better watch out, Devlins!!! You mess with their kids, and Clary and Jace are ready to take you down!!! Although them in pain is just ten times worse 😭

Her beautiful, gorgeous, colorful hair😭😭 why do you always have to make her suffer, Dani??? Why????

A sword was a sword.

Lexi knew how to use one. She was going to show Marcus that.

Fight! Fight! Fight! Fight! Fi-

At least Nico warned her just in time to learn how to heal herself... I have to take victories wherever I can ok?!?!

Need me more Gabriel and Jace's interactions!! It's not a want, ITS A NEED!!

“Chouchou,” she whispered again, leaning into David. “She wants Chouchou.”

“She?” Max said. “She who?”

Selena shuddered against David. “Mallory."

Fucking YESS!! I have been wanting this for weeks, holy shit I am so nervous but so excited for this!!!

At moments like this, Georgia did wonder if things would be easier if they just killed Marcus.

///

“Because he is an asshole with a god complex,” Gigi noted.

I agree with her wholeheartedly, morals out of the window!!

Is it really a shadowhunter date if you are not in danger?

“What does he want then?” Gigi groaned. “World domination? He isn’t Taylor Swift!” GIGI>>>>

THEY ARE THE MVP. THE ONLY ONES WITH BRAINCELLS. FAVE UNPROBLEMATIC BABES💙💙😍

Holy shit he is trying to collapse the ley lines on IDRIS WTF?!???

Oh god. Oh fuck.

Fucketty fucking fuck.

Exactly my thoughts 🙂🙂

“Hey! It’s not a fucking triangle!” Max yelled and pointed between him and David. “It’s a line. Okay? It’s just a damn line. No triangles here!” idk why I laughed so hard at this kdhdkdjdkdn

David told you!!!! And you didn't listen!!!!

“You okay?” dad asked.

“Why?"

“Because it sucks when other people get hurt because of us,” dad said.

Alec comforting Max is the only thing I will focus and I will ignore everything else :))

Alec when he hears Magnus: I am speed🔪🙂

That's it. How dare she touch Chairman Meow?!?!? I HATE HER SO MUCH IS UNREAL🔪🔪🔪

“I would kill someone for you,” Mallory smiled. “I love you.” *If I killed someone for you by Alec Benjamin playing in the distance*🎶🎶

“I will never kiss anyone other than David.” HEAR THAT??? HE DOESN'T LOVE YOU!!

David nodded. His face was blank.

Good. Stay away from me.

NOOOO, I NEED THEM TO TALK TO EACH OTHER, PLEASE I'M BEGGING 😭😭

“Do you me trust me with your son?” dad asked.

Uncle Jace smiled. “I trust you with my life."

Dad smiled back and looked at David. “Pack your bags, son. We’re going on a road trip."

Parabatai are just *SCREAMS*

So, so, soooo excited for this!!!

NOAHHH.

Dude, I have so many lbaf tiktoks I wanna share but for some reason my mobile tumblr app is not letting me share tiktoks when i am answering asks.

HOMOPHOBIA.

I miss you, bebe. Sending gay vibes (ignore the random shit my brain is overloaded these days)

[springday-aus]

Enemies to Lovers!AU with Xiaojun

—

Group: NCT [+ WayV]

Member: Xiaojun / Xiao Dejun

Genre: fluff, comedy, romance 

Type: Bulletpoint AU 

Word Count: approx. 2.4k

so, you’re Xiaojun’s enemy (he thinks of it more of his number one attacker tho)

it wasn’t hard considering he’s always on fight or flight mode and considering his friend group….

fight mode is always activated

(ง’̀-‘́)ง

so it started when you became friends with Ten

the guy is so sociable, so you were bound to meet him and his other friends someday

but jesus christ, there were soooo many of them

it was a party; he threw a literal party of just him and his friends

and then there were others who turned it into a rave (i.e. Hendery, Yangyang, Chenle and Donghyuk)

anyways, you got to mingle and make so many new friends

it was going really well

until Xiaojun entered the picture

things went well with him too, until you made a joke that didn’t exactly land with him

but it landed well with the others

Lucas: “who in their right mind would like mint chocolate”

Xiaojun: “but I like mint chocolate”

You: “then you’re not in your right mind lmao”

YangYang: “I mean, is Xiaojun ever in his right mind tho”

everyone laughs

except for one person

Xiaojun stood up, staring you down for a hot second, before trying to argue back

in which YangYang was the main responder

you didn’t really think much of it, laughing away with the others

but, to him, you just declared war that day

it shouldn’t have bothered him as much as it did

but it did

so, from then on, things just got rockier

bc he started picking fights with you over the littlest things or he would argue with your points no matter what

you didn’t really think much of it bc he was also being picked on everyone else and you were like

every man for themselves huh

it wasn’t until he personally attacked you

it happened on Halloween

and he made an underhanded comment about how he’d look better in anything compared to you

so you made a “friendly” bet

but then you lost

bc Xiaojun looked better in the Jasmine costume than you and he def knew it too

and when he smirked at you

the grudge had been built

that’s probably when the mutual enemy status circulated around your friends

although, if they’re being honest, it’s so entertaining

especially since most of them like to gang up on Xiaojun too

and because of that unity, it’s only made things worse

from what the others can tell

you two don’t hate each other, but you def don’t get along

it ranges to food (e.g. mint chocolate chip incident that NO ONE lets go)

Lucas: “mint choco ain’t shit”

You: “retweet”

Xiaojun: “the attacks”

YangYang: “we cannot trust a man who eats bread with fucking lao gan ma”

You: “you eat what with bread?”

Xiaojun: “shut up. all of you.”

to activities

cue you two fighting about what movie to watch

Xiaojun: “Titanic is a classic!!!”

You: “it’s a joke, there was rOOM ON THE FUCKING DOOR”

Xiaojun: “IT’S ROMANTIC. HE SACRIFICED HIMSELF SO SHE CAN LIVE.”

You: “THAT’S NOT ROMANTIC. THAT’S SUICIDAL, DUMBASS.”

this feud is def bc you’re both petty as fuck

the bickering is nonstop

but, if the nct boys are being honest

they’re lowkey confused bc Xiaojun is supposed to have a really high emotional tolerance

he doesn’t even yell this much at YangYang or Ten

(excluding that one time he hit YangYang with that pillow very hard)

but he does blow off his top when it comes to you

which is sus to a lot of the boys

whenever someone does ask him tho

he just kind of……………

mumbles underneath his breath and then moves onto something else

meanwhile, Yuta: “isn’t he always like that?”

Kun: “who wants to tell him”

lmao, I’m kidding

kind of

anyways, you two are really just going at it

what changes?

you have to go to the dentist and get your molars removed

which means someone has to take you and go pick you up

obviously, Ten was going to do that, considering you two were the closest

so he dropped you off and you had your surgery

so what happened?

welp, your buddy Ten forgot he had a prior engagement and, hence, was unable to pick you up

cue him spamming the groupchat

and Lucas exposing Xiaojun

Lucas: Xiaojun isn’t doing anything Xiaojun: you don’t know that Lucas: I do tho, go pick up (Y/N) Ten: I’ll buy you anything from that green tea cafe you like for a week Xiaojun: deal.

so he came to pick you up, both willingly and unwillingly

and you……. you were more than a hot mess 

you were just a mess 

you basically were just blacked out that entire time after they gave you the laughing gas and completed the surgery

so you remembered absolutely nothing.

your roommate: “this is what you get for doing drugs”

You: “IT WAS PURELY FOR MEDICINAL USE”

You: “IT’S NOT LIKE I DID CRACK”

either way, your roommate let you know of the situation, taking note of how your enemy had to take you home

which

again

no recollection

your roommate: “he’s fucking hot tho”

You: “ugh, I know”

but that’s also when you decided

Ten is a dead man :)

Ten: “I’M SORRY”

You: “YOU BETTER FUCKING BE”

Ten: “I KNOW”

Ten: “............................................but………………………………….”

Ten: “maybeyoushouldalsothankhimfortakingcareofyou”

You: “sorry not sorry, I’m contemplating murder rn”

Hendery: “what do you call a murder against a friend?”

Kun: “don’t”

Ten:

You:

Hendery: “it’s a homie-cide”

You and Ten: “NOT NOW”

anyways

you knew he was right

so after you calmed down, you went to Xiaojun’s place (thanks to Ten), with some sweets to thank him

Lucas opened the door, let you in, and left to go to the gym with Sicheng

Xiaojun came out of his room, a couple of minutes after, disheveled from his nap

and when he saw you in his living room couch, his eyes widened, darting around to avoid looking at you

You: “hi”

Xiaojun: “hello”

You: “why do you look so scared? I’m not gonna jump you”

he stays quiet, the blush becoming more apparent on his cheeks

You: “Ten told me you took me home after my surgery, so…………………… thanks”

Xiaojun: “he bribed me with pastries”

You: yeah, sounds about right

You: “still”

You: “um, I didn’t know what you would like, so I brought some sweets you can just go through”

Xiaojun: “thanks”

it’s silent for another moment and you consider bolting out from the apartment, Wizards of Waverly Place, Harper-style: “see ya in p.e.!” kind of a thing

but he speaks up once more

Xiaojun: “are you feeling okay now?”

You: “uh, yeah, my jaw still kind of hurts”

You: “but I have meds they prescribed to me for the next month or so”

he decides to stop beating the bush: 

Xiaojun: “so do you remember what happened yesterday?”

You: “to be completely honest, no”

Xiaojun: “you… did a lot of things”

You: “what do you mean I did a lot of things”

Xiaojun: “you also said a lot of things too”

You: “..... are these things recorded?”

Xiaojun: “maybe”

Xiaojun: “some”

You: “dELETET HEM”

you actually considered tackling him, but deemed as too Yang-Yang-like

You: “what did I say”

Xiaojun: “I didn’t realize you thought I was handsome”

You: “wait what?”

Xiaojun: “you said, you had a crush on my ‘fine ass’”

You: “you know what? I think I’m gonna pull a Jack and commit suicide, goodbye”

Xiaojun: “ah, ah, ah, you said like, which is… present tense”

You: “semantics”

Xiaojun: “but did you like me at some point?”

You: “does it matter?”

Xiaojun: “yeah, it kind of does”

Xiaojun: “bc even tho we bicker, it’s, like, our thing”

Xiaojun: “plus, you’re kind of cute when you’re threatening to rip off my eyebrows”

You: “I did what?”

Xiaojun: “it’s no different from how you treat me now”

You: “I thought it’s because you don’t like me”

he just kind of shrugs, rubbing his neck rather sheepishly

Xiaojun: “you’ve seen my friends; arguing is our way of showing our affections”

You: “so, you’re saying this is your way of telling me you like me?”

Xiaojun: “I mean………“

Xiaojun: “are you saying you like me?”

You: “are you saying you like me?” 

*cue another argument about who likes who*

eventually, he found a way to shut you up

( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

cut to Lucas and Sicheng coming back from the gym to you and Xiaojun making out on the couch

Lucas: “NASTY”

Sicheng: “what did we…. miss?”

Ten somewhere: I fucking called it.

anyways

you both decided to date that day

and you two still bicker an insane amount, which includes you nitpicking Xiaojun’s tastes to Xiaojun refusing to delete those videos of you under the laughing gas despite your threats

but, the only difference is, your arguments can end with a kiss

and it always freaks out the guys whenever you do

Donghyuk: “I’m too young to be seeing this monstrosity”

Mark: “ngl, this is nice for them—they’ve stopped arguing”

YangYang: “I weirdly prefer them arguing over them with those sappy eyes tho”

You: “we can hear you”

Chenle: “but when have we ever cared?”

You: “I’m gonna beat your ‘01 liner ass istg—”

Xiaojun: “calm”

oh, you know what’s fun about your relationship?

you two can’t agree on some stuff right?

so whenever you have to decide something, say a movie or dinner, you two just heads-or-tails it

(there’s also this cute app where you put your options on a wheel and let that decide—the amount of times you’ve used that on your dates…… anyways)

most of the time, on these dates, you seem more like an old married couple and it’s super cute

it’s bc you’re already used to your worse sides coming out—the really petty ones, the screaming ones, the ugly ones

ofc these aren’t from serious arguments that occur

(remember folks, it isn’t healthy for you and your partner to always be fighting)

but when serious arguments do occur, you both take time to sit down and talk face-to-face

it’s hard to get into actual arguments with him, especially since he really is understanding and tries to pay attention to the smaller details

Xiaojun: “I like learning more about you”

You: “you can’t just say that kind of shit to me”

like, yeah, he’ll debate with you all night about why he needs to read the words of his book out loud but, by the end of the day, you’ll lay your head in his lap and listen to his voice as you fall asleep

speaking of which, you love listening to him sing to you

he gets a bit embarrassed sometimes about it, but seeing you smile so brightly at him makes him forget about it

because even tho you two bicker about little things, in the end, it just makes you two laugh at one another and how ridiculous you’re being

I almost forgot, so Ten thinks of him pairing you two off right?

so, whenever he does something annoying to either of you, he’ll constantly bring it up

Ten: “I guess this is how you two treat me, your personal cupid—”

Xiaojun: “yes, yes, we are grateful for you”

You: “but it would be nice if you would stop making those annoying sounds”

Ten: “what annoying sounds?”

YangYang: “that’s just you talking”

okay, no, but yeah—the nct boys are glad this rivalry is over because it was really just…. stupid to the core

but also bc you two look super sweet together and seeing you two making each other happy rather than annoyed is adorable

but just bc you two got together doesn’t mean the pettiness isn’t still there

You: “what type of freak sleeps with their eyes opened?”

Xiaojun: “I’m sleeping next to you, of course I need to keep both eyes open”

You: “RUDE”

Xiaojun: “and yet here we are”

You: “son of a bitch”

Xiaojun: “YOUR son of a bitch”

You: “eh, I’ll take it”