#they don't want him to change himself for THEM... they want him to be their baby brother

[unequivocallyreid]

Why Didn’t You Tell Me?

it has been SO long... i was suffering from serious writers block but it think i'm finally out of it :)

pairing: spencer reid x fem!reader

summary: Spencer Reid used to be your best friend, but things changed. How long can you pretend that you don't love him before it ruins you?

warnings: angst! (with a happy ending), smut (unprotected piv), character loss, mention of Maeve, very sad Spencer, mental health struggles, light choking, fighting, slight praise kink

wc: 8.8k 🤗

i’m very proud of this one! i hope you love it!

Every morning when you wake up, you feel a familiar and creeping sort of dread in the pit of your stomach.

Don’t get the wrong idea; you love your job. You love helping people and stopping horrible people from ruining any more lives, but the creeping feeling and desire to get out is always in the corner of your mind. Anyone working in this field would tell you that. There’s no absolute separation between you and the victims and their families. You take all of them home with you, and you just have to learn how to deal with that and not let it eat at you.

It doesn’t help that it’s an isolating job as well. The last time you were in a serious relationship was in college. Now, every date you have ends in disappointment. Not only do you lack interest in most of the men and women, but it couldn’t go anywhere even if you did. 75% of your time is spent in the office, on a jet, or hundreds of miles away from your home.

All of this contributes to the feeling, but the worst part of your job is Dr. Spencer Reid.

He’s secretive and dismissive and just about the most attractive person you’d ever seen. You honestly don’t know what is worse: his constant physical presence in your life or the fact that you can’t stop thinking about him no matter what you do. You’ve tried to get over it; you’ve buried yourself in work, lamented to your friends, and gone out on dates (all with guys that looked vaguely similar), but nothing has worked. All his worst traits grate your nerves and light you up at the same time.

The worst part of it all is that it wasn’t always like this. When you first joined the BAU nearly two years ago, you and Spencer got along well. You were friends, he talked to you about his life, he understood you, and you really severely fell for him. He became your best friend.

Everything changed around six months ago. Spencer started to develop migraines, and as those developed, he started distancing himself from you. He became snippy and closed off, he started hiding things from you, and he stopped talking to you about life outside of Quantico. It was like overnight, you became nothing to him, and you really didn’t understand. Everyone else on the team got the same old Spencer, but you went from his right-hand man to someone he only spoke to when it was necessary.

Maybe he didn’t deserve to be vilified. You know, realistically, he can and should be able to decide who he wants to be close to, but working with a man who unknowingly broke your heart was close to the hardest thing you’d ever done. So, you decided hating him was easier. The real emotions you feel toward him sit somewhere inside you, but they have been covered by manufactured distaste. Addressing the actual feeling would hurt too bad, so you pretend to hate the things you used to love.

Nothing, however, could have prepared you for the last case you worked on: helping Spencer save a girl he met about six months ago, a girl he loved. You tried to stay collected, you said nothing when Spencer assisted when he shouldn’t have, and goddamn, did you do everything in your power to find that girl. Maeve. She was perfect for Spencer, and you saw that immediately. Everyone did. The sight of him sobbing in front of her body is one that will never leave your mind.

Now, two weeks later, no one has heard from Reid. The only indication that he hasn’t abandoned his life altogether is the absence of the gift baskets on his doorstep that Pen leaves daily.

Nearly everyone has been to his apartment, but they are met with a closed door and have yet to receive a response. Everyone but you.

Penelope is the first to bring up your lack of appearance at the end of a long day of paperwork.

“Y/n, please, you just have to try. No one is getting anything from him.”

“I really don’t think my presence would do any good,” you pause for a moment, trying to collect the thoughts running through your head like a freight train. “Me and him haven’t been close in a long time, Pen.”

Before you can continue, she cuts in, “Everyone has tried, Y/n. Hell, I’ve even considered tracking down Gideon, and I really, really do not want to do that.”

She pauses for a moment before looking up at you with a pout on her face, “Please, Y/n, for me. I can’t bear the thought of him in there all alone, just wasting away in grief.”

For someone who claims not to be a profiler, Penelope knew exactly what to say to get you to agree. She’s the only person in your life who you told about how you felt, though you’re sure everyone else (aside from Spencer) knew: you’re shit at keeping secrets.

“Okay, okay, I’ll try.”

She nearly bursts with excitement, “Thank God-“

You cut her off before she can finish, “But I’m telling you, I’m not the person he wants to hear from right now. Don’t get your hopes up.”

“Yes, yes. I just want him to know we all want him to be okay.”

Before you can hurry out of the office to follow Pen’s instructions, she stops you and hands you a basket full of assorted snacks and fruits.

“Make sure he eats!”

The walk up to Spencer’s apartment is a hard one to take. The smell of his building hits you as soon as you step into the lobby. From there, everything rushes back at once. Memories of nights you spent watching reruns of Doctor Who or listening to him prattle off about whatever he last read assault you with every step. As you slowly make your way up, you start to question why you agreed to do this in the first place.

You feel a lot toward Reid. More than you should and less than you could. But all that care and feelings that are so close to love aren’t enough to make you forget why you’ve been trying to hate him for so long. He deserted you without an explanation and cut you off without a warning. You spent weeks (three months) crying over him like a love-struck teen. So, as much as you want to hold him and comfort him, you know it’ll hurt you to do so. Penelope sent you, with the whole team’s approval, you’re sure, to try to patch up a broken heart he got loving someone else. There’s a sickness in your gut, but it’s not enough to stop you from rapping your knuckles against his door.

“Spencer? It’s Y/n.”

There’s no response.

“I know you probably don’t want to hear from me right now, but I want to make sure you’re alright. Can you tell me you’re alright?”

Again, nothing.

You know he’s there. Despite your lack of communication, you know Spencer well enough to know that he would never leave his life behind entirely. That being said, your next few attempts at garnering a response are unsuccessful.

You decide to try one final time before just leaving the basket alone on his doorstep and texting Pen it was a bust.

“There’s a lot I don’t know about you now, and I won’t pretend to know what you’re feeling.”

You don’t exactly know where this is headed, but you continue on regardless.

“I know you’re in there, and I know you can hear me, and I know you’re hurting. You shouldn’t- I don’t want you to be alone right now, Spence. You can either unlock your door, or I can pick it, but I’m coming in one way or the other. You know I will.”

You wouldn’t, actually. It’s a last-ditch effort, and it’s met with the same silence you’ve heard on the other side for the past ten minutes. You’re about to turn to head back down the stairs when you hear the very faint sound of a deadbolt turning.

There’s no other sound or movement, and for a moment, you think you might’ve imagined the sound, but you try the handle anyway. It turns, and the door slides open. You take a step in.

“Spencer,” you call out to him.

You don’t see him at first in the mess of his apartment, but when you do, you feel a crack form in your heart.

Beyond the clutter of his entryway, you see his back on the couch. His frame looks smaller than you’ve ever seen it, and you can see his legs curled into his chest. You set down the gift basket by a collection of others on the entry table and walk over to him. Slowly, like you’re trying not to spook a lost dog, you creep in front of him.

His head is down, and his gaze stays trained on his knees.

You reach out your hand and lay it over his. He flinches but doesn’t pull away.

“Spence, I’m so glad you opened the door.”

You didn’t plan out what you would say, but ‘sorry’ feels redundant and useless.

You go on, “I’m here. I- I don’t know what to do or say, and I’m sorry that I don’t. I can get someone else for you. Just tell me what you need, and I’ll do it.”

You wait for him to say he wants Penelope or JJ, but it doesn’t come. Nothing comes. You start to move to get up, figuring you could clean up a bit and try to make him something to eat, then go, but he grasps your arm before you can.

He looks up at you, and his eyes hit you right in the gut. They’re bloodshot and sunken but still beautiful.

“Stay. Please. I just- I need to know I’m not dreaming. I keep thinking I’m dreaming.”

His voice is croaky from disuse and breaks at the end, but it’s so heartbreakingly earnest that you feel your breath catch. You move from your crouch and sit beside him on the couch; your hand is still in his.

You stay like that for a long time. His breathing is shakey and uneven, and every so often, his body shakes with what you can only assume are sobs. You stay pressed to his side the whole time, thumb rubbing back and forth over his hand.

Eventually, you speak again, “I’m gonna get you some food, Spence. You should eat.”

He says nothing back, but he does loosen his grip. You push yourself up from the coach with a promise you’ll be as fast as possible.

His kitchen is nearly empty, and you hope he’s been eating from the baskets. Still, you find enough to make noodles and butter, and you figure the carbs should help his energy some.

You return with the bowl. Spencer hasn’t moved, but his head follows you as you walk back over to him.

“It’s not fine dining.”

He studied you for a second, and you catch a glimpse of the old him in his eye.

“You did the same thing when I was sick on a case a year ago.”

You smile at his recollection.

“It helped you then.”

The rest of the night is spent mostly in silence. Occasionally, you tell him something to try to remind him that you’re there and that you won’t leave as long as he wants you there. Eventually, you get up from the couch again.

“Spencer, it’s too late to still be awake.”

He nods and still says nothing, but he is far more receptive than before. You reach your hand out to him to help him up from the couch, and he takes it.

He leads you to his room at a slow pace. His head stays down as you both take a seat on his bed, hands still interlocked. Being in his bedroom is odd for you. You’ve been to his apartment quite a few times before he disappeared from your life, but you never breached this space. It’s all very him. Almost surprisingly cozy, with books scattered around nearly everywhere there’s space.

You take in the moment for a beat before saying, “I’m gonna head home, Spencer, but please call me if you need anything at all. I’ll come back tomorrow.”

This makes his head snap up, and his eyes lock with yours.

“Please stay.”

That’s all he says, but every part of him is pleading with you. It’s not a good idea, and you know it. You’re the only person he’s seen in days, you aren’t close anymore, and you don’t particularly want to sleep on a couch tonight.

“Spencer, I don’t want to sleep in your living room tonight. I’ll come back.”

He pauses for a moment, “You can stay here with me. I don’t want to be alone.”

Your heart cracks again. There was a time when this was all you wanted. It’s still, deep down, all you want, just not like this. You know he doesn’t really want you there and he’s not himself. But you aren’t strong enough to say no, so you don’t.

He gets you clothes to wear, and you change in his bathroom. You come out and find him in his bed, laying with his back to you. You have no fucking idea what you’re doing, but you get into bed next to him anyways. There are a thousand thoughts racing through your head, but the prevailing one is how badly you want to touch him, to hold him, to make him forget, just for the night. You stay still, though, confined to the edge of the bed and start to count to drown out the noise.

Though, you can’t drown out his voice, saying, “Can- Could you hold me? I think that everything feels better when you touch me.”

Another crack. By the end of this, you know Spencer Reid is going to break your heart all over again.

~

When you wake up the next morning, Spencer is still asleep. You sneak out of his room and call Hotch. When he answers, you tell him Spencer has let you in, and you ask for time off to try to help. You can tell from his voice that he doesn’t think it’s a good idea, but he grants you it anyway.

Much of your day is spent like the night before. You stay next to Spencer, and you cook for him after leaving to pick up clothes and groceries. Then, you get him to shower and wash his hair. He sleeps with his head in your lap, and you feel like a fucking idiot at first, but as long as it’s helping him in some way, you let it happen.

That’s the thing: you don’t really know how to help him. You know he isn’t the type to talk about something until he is entirely ready, so all you can do is add something domestic and bright to his life while he grieves. It’s all you can think about in the moments of silence. Hell, you even read to him to try and get your mind off of it, but it barely helps.

The night is the same. You change in different rooms and slip into his bed at different times. You feel dirty for imagining what it would be like if the circumstances were different: if he wanted you like you have wanted him for the past two years. You hold him against you, and you pray for sign that you should be there.

The sign comes the following morning when Derek calls you.

“Y/n…”

You can hear his teasing tone over the phone.

“Hi, Derek.”

“What are you doing, mamas?”

You sigh, “What do you mean?”

You’re playing coy. You know he’s wondering why you’re at Spencer’s house, picking up the pieces, but you won’t be the one to bring it up.

“Why’d you ask Hotch for the week off, Y/n?”

Another sigh, “You know why, Derek. I just, I want to help him.”

“I know you do, Y/n, I know.”

He pauses for a moment, and you let the moment fill with silence.

“I know you care about him. We all care about him. But who is taking care of you?”

“I am. I can take care of him, and I can take care of me.”

“I know you can, but I don’t want you to get hurt, Y/n. Don’t let this be something that hurts you.”

“It won’t. I- You have to- Fuck, I’ll be fine. He’s not fine. I don’t care about me or any feelings that may get hurt right now. I’ll be fine.”

There’s another bear of silence, “Okay, Y/n. Just know you’re allowed to tap out.”

You try to think of anything else to say, but nothing comes, so you say your goodbyes.

You won’t need to tap out. You can take care of him and be good to him and ignore the other feelings you have. You can be good.

The call does make you think it’s time to push, to try harder, to help him get better. So, you approach him that day before bed, before he tucks himself into your arms and falls into a fretful sleep.

“Spencer?”

He takes a moment and then responds, “Yes?”

“You have to talk about it. I think that you need to talk about it. It doesn’t have to be to me but to someone.”

He’s quiet for a long time, and your breath is caught in your throat, waiting for him to say anything.

“I- I don’t want to,” his voice cracks while he says it.

“Spence, you can’t come back if you don’t. You can’t move forward if you don’t.”

“Maybe I don’t want to.”

A ringing echos in your ears.

“You don’t mean that. She- she would want you to keep going.”

Wrong thing to say.

“You don’t know anything about what she would want.”

He’s seething now, below the surface, but smoke has started to plume from his ears. Still, you don’t stop.

“Spencer, everyone knows that. No one would want you to put your life on hold.”

He speaks his next line through his teeth, “You don’t know anything, Y/n.”

You’ve never heard him sound so angry.

“Spencer-“

“No, just stop. You don’t know her. You don’t know me half as well as you think you do. You don’t know anything. I don’t even know why you’re here. I don’t want you here. You can't be what I need.”

The ringing in your ears is louder.

“Spencer, please. Just-“

“No!” His voice is raised now, bordering on a yell, “I don’t want you here. I want you out, Y/n.”

This has to be what shell shock feels like. The ringing, the tingle in your limbs, and the heat in your face. You don’t know how you are moving, but you are.

His voice is echoing in your head, or maybe he’s still talking, but you can’t tell either way. The only thing you can focus on is how Spencer sounded like he hates you and that Morgan was right about the hurt.

~

You spend the next day trying desperately to shut down the noise in your head. It doesn’t work. The day after is the same. And the days following that. You ignore calls when they come, you ignore the texts, but you can’t stop looking at your phone for a message from the man who fills your thoughts.

Spencer doesn’t call, obviously, and you have to sit with a pit in your stomach while you beg yourself to just get the fuck over it. Two years of reckoning with the severity of your love, months of watching him live happily without you, and it’s the three days you spent trying to help him feel incrementally better that floor you.

You feel like a dumb teenage girl with so much love and nothing to do with it. On top of everything, you feel selfish. Spencer lost the love of his life forever, and you’re nursing the worst heartbreak of your life because a boy will never want you and never has. Still, you send out prayers for him over and over. You hope you’ll see him in the BAU again, even if his eyes glaze over you. Hell, even if they look at you with hate the way they did two days ago. You just want him to function. You want him to be good and eventually be happy. You try to go to bed with soothing thoughts, but you end up with a mantra of his name.

You wake to your alarm and dress for work before you realize you aren’t actually supposed to go back yet. You never set a date to return. You wanted to be open as long as Spencer needed you. You’re supposed to be with him. You’re supposed to be helping and not tapping out. But you aren’t.

You have no reason not to return to the bullpen, so you do. You walk in and feel eyes on you. You wait for Morgan to call out to you, but he doesn’t, so you follow the feeling.

Your breath catches in your throat; it’s Spencer. He’s sitting at his desk, paperwork spread out, and he doesn’t look away from your gaze; he just holds it. His face is unreadable, and yours is definitely not, so you look away first. You don’t look up again until you reach Hotch’s office. You knock and hear him call out to come in.

“I’m back if that’s okay.”

He looks up at you, and you want to cry. You know he can read you. He has always been the best at it.

“Are you okay with that, Y/l/n?”

You lock eyes with him, “Yes, sir.”

It’s no use; he knows your tells and you aren’t being honest.

“Alright, conference room in five.”

Whatever he sees in your face, he ignores and takes you at your word, but there’s a warning in his tone. He knows when to let things go and when to push. More than that, though, he knows you’d never let something like this affect your work.

~

The first case back is in Maryland, and the one after is in Austin, and the next is in Philadelphia with The Replicator. The job takes you all over the country, and the cases blend together. You don’t speak to Spencer through all of it. You’re never partnered, never work together, you sit on opposite ends of the jet. You don’t even speak at Strauss’ funeral. It’s radio silent, and everyone notices it, but no one brings it up.

In that time, you allow yourself to slip away slightly. You don’t go out with the team, you see Pen at nearly half frequency, and basically, the only time you speak is on cases. It’s stupid and melodramatic, but you call it healing. Derek tries to reason with you, JJ sticks to you a bit more than usual, and Penelope calls you virtually whenever she can, but their efforts are mostly in vain. This is your way of protecting yourself. You feel like you have to isolate in order to improve, and you know, given time, you will come back to yourself.

Penelope’s insistence that you go to her Day of the Dead celebration breaks your distance.

“Y/n, please come. I know you aren’t going out, but you have to. I know you have people to honor, and I need you there.”

You sigh, “Whose going, Pen?”

“The team, which you are a part of, so you must be there.”

“I don’t think I can do that. I promise you I will celebrate with you. I’ll help you set up, just please don’t make me go.”

Penelope pauses, but the glint in her eye keys you into the fact that she is not interested in giving up.

“We miss you, Y/n. Everyone loves you and misses you. You’ve been living this stupid, isolated life, and it’s time for you to come back. You are not this person. I refuse to believe it. You’re coming, and that’s final.”

Maybe you don’t have the energy to argue, or maybe you know she’s right, but you agree to go.

~

The thought of seeing him makes your heart race, and the clock you keep glancing at makes it worse. Just a few more hours before you're trapped in a confined space (Pen’s beautiful home) with a man you haven’t spoken to in weeks.

You busy yourself with preparing. Lights are hung, food is made, and you make a trip to the store while Pen sets up her remembrance table. When everything is said and done, you can’t help but feel this is the most beautiful thing you’ve been a part of in a long time.

The first knock comes at 7:30 exactly, and it’s Hotch and Rossi. They are followed closely by Blake, then Derek and JJ. By 7:00, the atmosphere is light and loving, and you feel a bit of your anxiety let up as the minutes go by without Reid. But, eventually, the knock comes, of course it does, and you move into a corner as Spencer walks in. You feel a shift in energy, though you doubt it’s palpable for anyone else. Rossi is the first to make his way over to you, and his presence comforts you nearly immediately.

“How you doing, kid?” His voice is soft like he’s speaking to a scared rabbit.

“I’m better,” you say, and it’s about as honest as you can get. As much as you’d like to think he knows nothing about what’s gone on, you’re smarter than that. He’s the best profiler on the team, and he’s always known when someone was off with you. Even so, you are better than you were, even if you aren’t quite good, and you know he believes you.

There’s some idle conversation between you before he asks, “Do you want to talk about it?”

“Not tonight. I don’t know when, but I will. Eventually, I will.”

It’s good enough for him, and you move on easily, which surprises you.

Right before Pen gathers you all to present your photos, he says, “Sometimes we think we’ve seen the whole picture, but we miss a big part. People do things because they don’t want to be hurt, but those things hurt them more. Just, be open.”

You don’t quite understand what he means, but you hope you will.

Penelope presents the first picture, which shows her parents. JJ honors her sister, Derek, his dad, Hotch Haley, and Rossi, Hernandez; then it’s your turn. You place down a photo of your best friend. You hadn’t talked much about her, but you think of her daily. She passed a few years before you joined the BAU.

“I was lucky to have someone that hurt that much to lose.”

That’s all you say, but it’s enough for you, and it would be enough for her.

Spencer is last. He places down a picture of Tesla and a picture of Maeve. Your heart is heavy for everyone.

The night dwindles from there. Hotch and Rossi say their goodbyes, and Rossi gives you a knowing look as he leaves. You just smile. You stay for a few minutes after, but eventually, you move to leave as well.

You make it down Garcia’s porch before you feel a hand grab your arm. You turn, and it’s Spencer’s face you see.

“Would you- Do you think you could come over? Do you think we could talk?”

~

The feeling you have walking up to Spencer's apartment is similar to what you felt the last time. You’re incredibly anxious, but at least you know you’ll be let in this time.

The drive over was silent. Spencer had taken the metro to Penelope’s, so he rode with you. It wasn’t necessarily awkward. There was just an understanding that the car wasn’t the place to begin your conversation.

Now, as Spencer unlocked his door, it’s one of those rare moments you felt starved for words, and you know it’s because you’re scared you’ll say the wrong thing and face the same reaction that you did the last time you were in his home.

He leads you to his living room and motions for you to sit, and you do. The two of you are on opposite ends of his couch while you wait for him to say something.

His first words are airy and light, “Thank you for letting me talk to you.”

You look at him but remain silent, waiting for him to go on. All you can think about is why he wants to speak to you at all. The last time you spoke, he made it incredibly clear he did not want you in his life or around him at all.

Before you can think about it more and let your anger and sadness build, he speaks again, “I feel really stupid right now. I kind of feel stupid whenever I’m around you recently.”

He pauses momentarily before going on, “I’m so, so sorry, Y/n. About the last time we spoke. I’ve been thinking about it pretty constantly for the past few weeks.”

You open your mouth, unsure of what exactly to say, but you can’t get there before he’s off again.

“I’m not sure how to talk to you anymore. I don’t think I’ve known how to for a long time. I just, I need you to know how sorry I am for speaking to you like that.”

He takes a shakey breath but keeps going, “That wasn’t me, and that isn’t how I feel. I’m just unbelievably sorry, Y/n.”

He stops there, and you work to collect your thoughts.

“I know. A part of me knows, at least, that you didn’t mean it. I just wanted to be there for you, and hearing that made me- I just- I think it made me hate myself for wanting to be there.”

“I’m so sorry. I’m unbelievably sorry.”

“You didn’t talk to me for months, Spencer. I just don’t understand. I don’t understand why you let me in in the first place. I thought you hated me.”

He’s silent for a long minute.

“I never hated you, Y/n. I just stopped knowing how to act around you, and then I met Maeve. I fell so deep into it that I couldn’t talk to anyone about it. I- And I just started to feel like you didn’t want me to speak to you, so I didn’t. But, when you came here, after everything, I guess I just felt like you were the only person who would get it. You never, no one on the team ever treated me or talked to me how you did. I just wanted that.”

Tears had begun to well in your eyes now. A part of you gets what he means, at least about letting you in, but the other part is so confused as to why he stopped being comfortable around you.

“I don’t understand, Spencer. Why did you stop knowing how to be around me?”

There’s desperation in your voice that makes you sound like a stranger to yourself. Maybe you’re a stranger to everyone right now.

“I uh, I don’t really know.”

“That's not fair, Spence.”

You’re crying now. Just a little bit, but you can feel the wetness on your cheeks. You can see that you are by the look on his face. He looks broken, and you know it's a reflection of your own image.

You wipe your face, “Thank you for apologizing, Spencer. I just, there are parts of this all that I don’t understand, and if you can't explain them to me, I don’t think I ever will.”

“Y/n-,” he calls out your name like a prayer.

“It’s okay, Spence. You don’t have to say anything more. We talked, and things will go back to how they were eventually.”

“I’m so sorry, Y/n.”

You smile sadly as you get up to leave.

“I am, too, for what it's worth. For whatever I did to make things change in the first place.”

You leave it at that, and it takes everything in you not to look back as you leave his apartment.

~

Things do get easier after that. Not completely. You still love him, and it hurts, but it helps to know he doesn’t hate you. He talks to you some, cordial things, and you do the same. You're sure your teammates still sense something is off, but this works for you. Right now, it works. Getting over him, not loving him anymore, is going to take work, but eventually, you know that you won’t hurt anymore.

Shortly after you and him talked, you started going back out with your friends. Spencer joined periodically, but that was normal. Bars were never really his scene.

Tonight, everyone gathers at your local pub. Your last case was particularly grueling, and you all need a way to blow off some steam. It's fun, and you feel good, even with Spencer sitting across from you. You feel proud of yourself for getting to this point.

JJ and Penelope feed you drinks to try and get you to dance, and you let them. Tonight feels as good of a night as any to ‘get back out there’ as Pen says. So, you do. You dance with them, and you ward off the other cops and agents around you who try to pull you away from your group. You aren’t interested in that. Right now, you're just having an appropriate amount of fun for a woman 15 feet from her boss.

Time goes by quickly, and by the time you get back to the table, you, Derek, Penelope, and JJ remain. He tells you that Hotch, Rossi, Reid, and Alex left a few minutes before. The conversation between you flows for a while, up until the drinks loosen Penelope up enough to bring up what you were pretty sure the team designated a no-no topic.

“Y/n, you have to talk about it.”

You’re still laughing as something Derek said when you reply, “What?”

“You know what. You and Boy-Genius. What on Earth happened? You went from ice-cold to semi-friendly. None of us saw it coming.”

“Babygirl-,” Derek tries to stop her, but you cut him off.

“No, it’s okay. I have to talk about it at some point, and I think right now is the only time I’ll be tipsy enough to let you get it out of me.”

You're still laughing slightly, but the pit that's lived in your stomach for the past few months starts to rear its head.

“After your Day of the Dead party, he asked to talk to me. I went to his place, and he apologized. I don’t really understand what he said or what he meant, but I can’t be sad about him forever.”

Pen perks up a bit at that, “I knew that party would bring good things!”

You giggle a bit at her outburst, but then JJ asks, “What did he say?”

The faces around you all tune in at that. You know they don’t see this as gossip. They care about you both too much to trivialize it like that.

“He just said that he stopped knowing how to act around me, and he didn’t know why, but then he met Maeve, and I guess it didn’t matter so much after that. He was my best friend, and then he was nothing.”

JJ shares a glance with Derek and then speaks, “Oh, Y/n.”

“What?”

After a beat, Derek says, “He didn’t just not know how to act around you.”

Now you're confused, “What do you mean? I talked to him, that's what he said. He didn’t know why. I mean, he knows everything and didn’t know why he didn’t want to be around me anymore. How fucking stupid is that.”

You laugh again, but it does come off as genuine in the slightest.

“Y/n, he probably doesn’t really know why. At least not fully. For someone as smart as he is, the kid can be really stupid.”

“Stop being cryptic.”

Derek sighs but goes on, “Pretty girl, pretty boy was in love with you. Probably still is. He just didn’t think you’d ever feel the same.”

“No. That's not true.”

You look at the others around you, but their faces are serious.

“He loved Maeve. He loves Maeve. That, that doesn’t make any sense.”

It's JJ’s turn to talk now.

“He definitely did love Maeve, no one is denying that, but we all saw how he was around you. His whole relationship with her was safe. He couldn’t be hurt by her rejection every day because he had no way of seeing her. With you, he could.”

Your mind is moving a mile a minute, “Did he tell you guys this?”

Penelope puts her hand over yours and says, “He didn’t have to, love. We all say the way he looked at you and acted around you. The way he talked about you. That boy was head over heels.”

“Guys, I appreciate whatever you’re trying to do, but this isn’t real. Spencer doesn’t- this is not real.”

“Y/n, pause. Think about the way he acted around you, the things he said. Think about how Reid is.”

You hear what Derek said, but it all sounds faint like someone stuffed your ears with cotton while you weren't paying attention. All you can focus on are the different scenes running through your head, the scenes of your life with Spencer in it. How he memorized your coffee order and brought it for you every day, how he never shied away from your touch despite his aversion to contact, how he consistently went out of his way to protect you on the field. At his house after everything, the way he clung to you and wanted to be held. How he said in his own words, “You can't be what I need”; not “you aren’t,” but “you can’t.”

Your whole world is crashing down in this bar, and you can’t do anything to stop it.

“Y/n?”

JJ’s voice snaps you out of your spiral.

“Just go talk to him.”

You nod mutely, and you get up.

~

Everything in the last ten months of your life has led you to the exact spot you were when everything blew up in the first place: Spencer’s door.

This time, you aren't too worried about him not letting you in. If anything, it's the opposite. Him opening this door could open a hundred others, and you don’t quite know if you are ready for any of them. You sit there and sit there and sit there, trying to work up the courage to knock, though you aren’t sure it's there to begin with. Right as you're about to walk away and decide you’ll come back another day, his door swings open.

“Y/n?”

His face is lit up with shock, and you notice his hand that is not on the door is holding his pistol.

“What are you doing here?”

You don’t answer, “Why did you open the door?”

He sets his piece down on the entry table before responding, “I heard footsteps in the hall and saw they stopped here. I was anxious. 50.3% of home invasions happen between 8:00 pm and 7:00 am.” He cuts himself off there, “Y/n, why are you here?”

You didn’t pay attention to anything he said. All you could think about was the way his lips were moving and the way his eyes locked onto yours as he talked.

“Do you love me?”

That is not what you wanted to say.

His lips fall open as he takes in a sharp breath, “What?”

“Or I guess did you love me? Before everything? Because Derek and JJ and Pen, they all said that you loved me, and now I can’t think about anything else, Spencer.”

He doesn’t speak, but you don't really give him a chance to.

“I just, I know I sound crazy right now, but I feel fucking crazy. I keep going over everything in my head, and I have been, for the past year I have been, but now it’s all different. It's all different because they said that you loved me, but you didn’t think I’d feel the same way.”

Here, you do pause, but he still doesn’t say anything, so you go on before you can stop yourself.

“Because if that's true, Spencer, it's just- I did. I do. And if it's not, then please just tell me so I can stop feeling this way.”

He sounds resigned when he says, “Y/n,” and you feel like you know what that means.

“Fuck, I’m sorry. I don’t know why I'm doing this. You don’t have to say anything. Actually, please don’t say anything. I don't think I can hear it. Just pretend I never-”

He cuts off your ramble, “Y/n, stop.”

You draw your eyes from the floor, look up at him, and find something in his gaze you have never seen before. He doesn’t say anything, just stares at you, and it takes everything you have not to look away. His hand raises to cup your jaw, and your skin lights on fire. Before you can process what he’s doing, you feel his lips press against yours, and something clicks. At first, his touch is light, like he’s giving you the chance to pull away. But, when he grasps that you won’t, he presses himself to you harder, and all you can think about is how nothing has ever felt so right.

His lips move against yours, and you don’t know how you're managing to reciprocate because it feels like everything in your body has gone fuzzy. The kiss is by no means long, but it feels like it lasts forever, and by the time he pulls away, you’re breathless.

His forehead stays connected to yours, and he whispers, “I do, Y/n, love you. I have.”

You don’t feel the tears on your cheeks until he’s wiping them away.

“Oh, Y/n.”

“Did you know? That you did? Is that why…”

You trail off, hoping he’ll pick up on what you're asking, and he does.

“I didn’t at first, or I didn’t realize I was falling in love with you until it happened. I got scared, so I ran. I just never thought that you could feel the same or that I was hurting you. I didn’t realize that. I just thought I was doing what was best for us. I felt guilty for being in love with my best friend.”

“And Maeve?”

“I loved Maeve. I’ll always have love for her. I was trying to move on, and I thought I could eventually be with her and be around you without it hurting. I wish I would have told you this before.”

“You’re telling me now. That's enough.”

This time, it's you who pushes your lips to meet his. Your arms snake around his neck, and his fall to your waist. You follow when he pulls you into his apartment and closes the door. There is still pain on both sides, but you can feel it dissipating as you cling to each other. You’re just two broken people who have finally found a way to each other.

This kiss is different, hungrier. Neither of you pulls away for longer than a few seconds as you navigate your way from his entryway to his couch. Every touch is desperate like you're searching for something you never knew existed until now. His hands pull you closer and closer until he's pulling you on top of him, and each of your legs rests on opposite sides of his hips.

Your lips break from his for a moment, “What do you want, Spence?”

His reply is instant, “You.”

From there, things move faster. Your hands unbutton his shirt and push it from his shoulders while he undoes your pants. There are moments of awkwardness that come with exploring another for the first time, but it feels good. His hands trace over your hips and push further until you're left on top of him in only your underwear and bra. He takes you in like you are something to be marveled at, and you know your eyes reflect the same adoration.

You raise yourself off of him and work to get him in the same state of undress as you, and when you position yourself on top of him, you feel his length press against your center. The two thin layers of fabric do little to hinder the intensity as you rock into him. He lets out quiet moans at the action as his lips trace down your neck and over your collarbone.

His breath ghosts over you and makes you shiver when he asks, “Can I touch you?”

“Please.”

His hand moves between the two of you, and his fingers find your clit easily, rubbing circles over the fabric of your panties. You pant his name against his lips at the action. You feel like your whole body is lit up, and under any other circumstance, you'd feel embarrassed at how worked up you are, but you can’t seem to care.

After a few moments, he lifts you up and carries you to his bedroom. From there, he positions you below him on the bed, removing your remaining clothes in the same motion. The new setup lets you grip him, and he feels big in your hand. His fingers resume their previous assault before dipping down into you. You cry out at the feeling of him inside you, slowly pushing in and out, finding a spot that makes your legs start to shake. He’s relentless in his pursuit and all you can muster up the energy to say is his name.

“You’re so beautiful, Y/n.”

It's somewhere between a whimper and a whisper, but the sound of his voice causes you to clench around his fingers.

He picks up on this, of course he does, and quickens his pace as he coos at you.

“So pretty like this. I’m so lucky.”

You’re embarrassingly close already, so when he moves his thumb over your clit to rub circles as he fucks into you with his fingers, you come undone almost instantly with a warning and cry of his name. He works you through your orgasm, all while whispering praise in your ear. Once you come down from your high, you start to push his boxers down his legs, but he stops you before you can fully.

“We don’t have to do anything more, Y/n. I liked just making you feel good.”

“I want more. I want to feel you if you want that too.”

“Of course I do. I just don’t want you to regret anything.”

“I couldn’t regret this, Spencer. I love you. I want all of you.”

It's the first time you’ve actually said those three words to him, and it feels so fucking good to say.

“I love you, too. God, so much.”

With that, he positions himself back on top of you, running his fingers over your slit gently before gripping himself.

“Do you have a condom?”

“I might somewhere, but I have an IUD, and I’m clean. I can try to find one if you’re more comfortable with that?”

“IUDs have a failure rate of around .05% and are largely considered the most effective form of birth control, so uh, as long as you're okay with it, I am.”

You smile to yourself at his statistic but nod, “I want to feel you, Spencer.”

He returns your smile before rubbing his length over your entrance a few times and slowly pushing himself into you just slightly. He teases you, or maybe himself, for a moment before fully entering you. You push your hips up to meet his, and feeling him in his entirety makes your jaw fall open. He’s big, and you feel unbelievably full.

He waits a moment for you to adjust before he starts to develop a rhythm. His hands are everywhere, but his eyes are focused solely on your face like he doesn’t want to miss a moment of your reaction to him inside of you. To be fair, you are probably putting on a good show. Every movement he makes hits you in exactly the right spot, and you don’t think you could be louder if you tried. You can feel the leg he’s not holding up against his shoulder shake against the bed. Your first orgasm has made way for your second to be incredibly close.

“Spencer, please.”

You’re crying out, desperate for a little more to push you over the edge.

“What do you need, baby?” His voice is tight like he’s not far himself, and it sounds better than anything you’ve ever heard.

“Harder. Please, harder.”

He takes your direction immediately, rubbing circles on your clit with one hand while he thrusts into you with a bruising force. He’s fucking you like he wants you to remember the feeling long after he stops, and you know that you will. Everything about it is overwhelming: his smell, his pace, his eyes. You are covered in him, and he is covered in you.

After a moment, the hand he had on your stomach trails up to grasp lightly at your throat, and you fall into feeling. You can’t warn him that you're about to come before you do. The feeling is white hot. Bigger than your first, and the fact that you're coming on him sends you into overdrive. You can feel his hips falter for a moment, but you're lost in a daze, crying out his name.

He pumps into you a few more times before he follows suit. He pulls out, and you feel stripes of his come paint your cunt and lower stomach as he finishes with a moan of your name.

He falls next to you on the bed, and it takes you both a few moments to collect yourselves and catch your breath.

Once you do, the only thing you can think to say is, “I love you.”

It feels like those are the only words circling around in your head at the moment. Some mixture of his name and that declaration. While you know you each said it before, that your profession was the exigence of the sex you just had, it feels uniquely vulnerable to say now. It’s like the moment you just had together could have changed things or made him realize that he doesn’t actually love you after all.

That shoe doesn’t drop, though. Instead, you hear the three words echoed back to you by a man who, 6 hours ago, you thought would never, ever say them.

You turn to face him, and the love on his face feels like it could knock you out. He’s looking at you and smiling in a way you haven't seen in a long time.

“Will you let me clean you up?”

You know that part of the reason he’s asking has something to do with the likelihood of bacteria growth or something like that, but you think it's mainly that he wants to take care of you. Him wetting a rag and running it over you feels intimate in a different way, in an excruciatingly gentle way. Personal in a way that makes you feel like nothing between you could ever be wrong again, and maybe that's naive to think, but you feel hopeful regardless.

Once he finishes, he takes his space back next to you in the bed. This time, he pulls you into his arms, and it's different than it was all those months ago. This time, you know that he won’t push you away and that you won't hurt yourself by being next to him. This time, you just tuck yourself into him, and you let him whisper sweet nothings into your ear as you begin to drift off. This time, it feels like peace.

~

The following day, you wake up to Spencer still next to you, looking incredibly soft in the early morning light. You search for a moment to find your phone in the piles of clothes and are greeted with a text from Pen.

How did it go????

You smile before turning your phone off and climbing back into bed next to the man you love. It couldn’t have gone better.

-

all done! yay!!!

i hope you guys love it!! i’m not 100% happy with the ending but i’ve been writing this for so long and just needed to be done.

this is my first time writing angst on here and my longest fic, so PLEASE tell me what you think! all (nice) feedback is welcome and i love to hear from you guys!! :)

[keepthedelta]

okay it's kinda specific but is there any brocedes fact that is often overlooked but you think that is essential (or perhaps gives a new approach) to the lore?

that's such a good question. i have several, i hope you don't mind

the first one is the "he'll always be my best friend in my heart" quote. i've seen a lot of people use it as a very earnest declaration etc. (or if they believe in the nico is obsessed with lewis shit as a sign of that) but it was actually nico making a joke when he was doing commentary (on the italian comms i think). he was asked a question about lewis and jokingly/sarcastically said "in my heart he'll always be my best friend", and then immediately clarified that it was a joke (maybe recognising the narrative that would be spun around it). i know this seems kind of anti-brocedes but i do think it is essential to the lore that people recognise nico is not a weird as fandom likes to make out. he's absolutely weird, and he's definitely not normal about lewis, but he's not obsessive, and he feels comfortable enough making jokes about them. when you contrast that with lewis who either refuses to say nico's name in conversations where he is the most relevant person (the better teammates than max interview) or brings him up unnecessarily and then panics about it (grill the grid), i think it changes the dynamic of who is yearning, who is "over it", who is winning the idgaf war (it's neither of them but the difference is lewis lost by playing and nico is open enough about giving a fuck that he's not pretending to play). i am biased, but i also think that if you look back at them during their careers, lewis was always weirder about nico than nico was about him, although again, neither of them can truly be described as normal about each other.

then there's nico beating lewis in the 2004 f3 series that they shared. the narrative of brocedes describes it as lewis always beating nico, lewis being the one to win and nico always being slightly behind. and largely this is true. but in 2004 they were both competing in the 2004 f3 european series, albeit for different teams. neither of them won, but nico narrowly beat lewis. now they were in different teams and nico himself has said that some teams had better cars and equipment than others and that made a difference in the end result. but, nico still beat lewis. he had nearly double the number of dnfs/dns (6 to lewis's 3) and triple the number of wins (3 to lewis's 1), finishing highest of all the entrants who eventually made it to f1 (nico himself, lewis, adrian sutil and robert kubica). but nico himself barely seems to remember this. the narrative of lewis always being better, always beating him, is something he seems to have internalised, even though it isn't quite true, or at least, not as true as people make out.

my third bit of lore is that mclaren wanted to sign nico for the 2008 season. following the drama of fernando alonso (affectionate) and spygate, mclaren had an open seat and ron dennis wanted to fill it with nico. he even offered to buy out nico's contract from williams, but frank williams viewed nico as their best hope and refused. the driver that eventually ended up replacing fernando was heikki kovaleinen, nico's gp2 rival and 100% finnish to his 50% (yes nico's national identity crisis does come into this). lewis ended up winning the championship that year. heikki took only 1 victory, and while i think lewis would have beaten nico, i think nico wouldn't have been a doormat for him like heikki, and would have won at least a couple of races, which would have allowed felipe massa and ferrari to succeed. in many ways i think an argument can be made that nico not getting that mclaren seat really helped lewis to win his first championship, in the same way that if lewis hadn't gone to mercedes, nico would have won three, or if nico had stayed, there is a very real possibility that sebastian vettel would have won 2017. their presence and their success dooms the other, and it always has.

my final thing is that they are the most successful teammate pairing in f1 history. it kind of links back to the last one, where the fact that they are each as good as they are hurts the other one, unlike a lewis and valtteri line up or a michael and rubens line up where there is a distinct number one driver and the other one is to be sacrificed for him. but, even though both of those pairs were together for longer (nico and lewis aren't even in the top 5 longest teammate pairings), it takes more than a number 1 number 2 driver lineup to be the most successful. it takes nico and lewis, who are both number 1 drivers (don't come for me on this, nico would have flattened the likes of valtteri, rubens, or mark webber and you know it). although they were only teammates for four years (and one of those was a sebastian vettel/red bull dominance year) they achieved more pole positions, front row lockouts, wins, podiums, and 1-2 finishes than any other pairing in f1 history. they were utterly, utterly dominant, and that's why they hurt each other so badly. they were the dream team, the absolute best f1 could come up with, but they weren't just competing as a team, they were competing against each other, and only one of them could win

[misteria247]

You think that Fiddleford offers advice to Ford, Mabel, Dipper, Wendy and Soos on how to handle certain side effects of Stan's memory loss? Like think about it-

Fiddleford is the creator of the memory gun, and the founder of the Blind Eye. He out of everyone knows this thing better than anyone else. Even with his own memories all messed up, he still knows it best. I can see Mabel and Dipper going to seek him out, to ask him questions about it. Or to just see how Fidds himself is recovering from his invention, and how he's become more like himself in some aspects. Just to be reassured that their Gruncle Stan is going to be okay even if it takes awhile. Or Soos just taking everything Fidds says about the memory gun to heart and keeping a closer eye on his father figure so he can be around to help if Stan needs it. Wendy always keep mental notes when Fiddleford mentions memory lapses Stan might experience and be ready to intervene should Stan need to be taken out of a situation where he experiences it in a public setting.

And Ford.

Dude would be absorbing every piece of information he can from his friend. From the side effects to the memory lapses Stan may experience to what's useful to help his brother as well as Fidds when he's in need of help. And Fiddleford he'd just help in anyway he can, wanting to help Ford and his family who've helped him with this whole thing.

And I can see Stan and Fiddleford bonding over this.

They'd click, having this mutual experience involving this gun and how it completely effectively changed their lives forever. How it left them both jumbled up and confused about parts of their lives and the people involved with them. From Stan with his brother, niece, nephew and adopted son and unspoken rebellious daughter to Fiddleford with his beloved son Tate. I can see them being unintentionally a comfort for one another. Just two old men bonding and helping each other.

I don't know y'all I think too much on this don't mind me-

[changetyre]

Broken ⒾⓈⓌ

SUMMARY: You and Max are having trouble trying to grow your family and your daughters are affected by it. Part of the Verstappen Family Verse

WARNINGS: Angst, miscommunication, pregnancy issues, a smidge of smut at the end.

A/N: This was requested over on Wattpad. Despite the angst, this is one of my favorite parts of this series.

Max stretched out, his back feeling painful after carrying all the presents he'd bought up from the parking lot before stashing them in a high cupboard in the house where he was sure nobody would look. It was late and he'd spent most of the day out looking for gifts, although truly it was also an excuse to get some space since the environment at home wasn't the best right now. 

The house was quiet when he arrived, a good indicator the girls were already asleep in their room and you as well probably. Although only a few months ago there wouldn't be a day you wouldn't wait for Max before going to bed, physically unable to go to sleep without hearing his voice but lately things had changed and you and Max often went to bed without exchanging any words at all. 

Once he finally made his way to your bedroom he wasn't surprised to find you were in fact asleep, clothes scattered around the room which you also hadn't bothered to clean up. Max sighed, he was tired having not really had a day of relaxation since the season ended despite imagining he'd spend his winter holidays differently, that things would somehow get better. 

He proceeded to pick up the room a little bit making it a little more presentable before taking a quick shower and joining you in bed. While his skin screamed to feel yours Max didn't feel comfortable enough to do so anymore, not knowing how you'd react to him placing an arm around you like he had done every night since you'd gotten together..until a few months ago. 

The next morning Max woke up to find you'd woken up but stayed laying there simply staring up at the ceiling, he knew your mind was spiraling but truly didn't want to ask anymore knowing you'd shut him out.  

"Hey," Max asked. His voice almost felt too loud for the silence. 

"Hi." Your voice was barely above a whisper, the sound almost strange to him not used to hearing it often anymore. 

"How d'you sleep?" Max asked. 

"I'm gonna go make breakfast for the girls." you ignored his question avoiding eye contact as you left the room leaving no more space for conversation. 

Once Max got himself ready for the day he went out to join you for breakfast finding you'd already eaten and were in the process of washing the dishes. He'd be lying if he said this didn't hurt him but held back from saying anything not wanting to start an argument. 

The rest of the day was mostly spent in silence apart from the laughter and ruckus from your children there were no words exchanged between you and Max. At some point, Max left the house once more wanting space. 

"Mama," Ivy called you as you played with both your daughters in the balcony. 

"Yeah, baby." Your daughters naturally made you smile, probably the only time you showed any sort of emotion lately. 

"Do you and Papa not love each other anymore?" She asked. 

Your heart skipped a beat, the immediate urge to cry reaching your throat and you only hoped your eyes gave no indication to the sudden burst of emotion. You noticed the way Lea's smile also dropped at the question, her attention ready to hear your answer. 

"Uhm, of course we do baby why would you think that?" You asked hoping your shaky voice didn't worry your daughters. 

"Papa doesn't blink at you anymore...like dis mama." Ivy showed you by blinking her eyes hard three times just like her father used to do to you almost daily before. 

The reminder of this almost broke you, you began picking up the girl's toys making sure they weren't able to see your face properly as you began crying. "You don't have to worry girls, everythings okay with Papa and me." You lied to your daughters, and it was evident by the weakness of your voice but you weren't sure what else to say. 

"Mama, are you okay?" Lea asked this time, her voice filled with concern, she was growing up, she of course noticed things, possibly understood things a little more than her sister and you knew you were hurting her, hurting them both and thought of this killed you inside. 

"I'm fine Lea, why don't you take your sister to your room and watch a movie, I'm gonna shower." You tried your best to force a smile wiping your eyes with the back of your hand before facing your older daughter. 

Lea simply nodded not wanting to cause you more distress before taking Ivy's hand and guiding her away. Once they were gone you let yourself cry it out. 

Trying and failing to conceive another child had been more emotionally draining than you had ever imagined it would be. You and Max had tried, tried, and tired to the point making love to him wasn't exciting anymore, it was frustrating, full of desperation, and so eventually, you stopped. You stopped trying, stopped connecting, stopped loving.  

Silence seemed like the easiest solution, not willing to face the reality of it all. Drowning in your own thoughts was exhausting but it seemed like the better option since potentially hearing the way you let down your partner, your family was worse. 

But it was obvious now, it was obvious how much this was already hurting your family so you had to toughen up now, muster enough strength to talk to Max, talk to your husband, and face whatever was next for you, whether good or bad it had to better than letting your daughters see the way things were falling apart between you. 

___________

Max once again came home to silence, he could hear the TV on in the girl's room and he didn't want to go to his room so instead decided to try to wrap up the presents in secret while he had the time. 

Max was semi-successful, his daughters had walked out of their room and been insistent on wanting to know what Max was doing despite him telling them several times to go back to their rooms and his patience was wearing thin. 

He was only able to get them to stay in their rooms after promising them a play date with their uncle Lando on the weekend if they behaved. Finally knowing they would stay in their rooms Max took the time to try to hide the gifts again so he could put them under the tree by the end of the month. 

He'd headed to the bathroom and when he came back anger and frustration flooded him at seeing Lea helping Ivy up to the counter to try to open the cupboard where he'd stashed the gifts. 

"LEA!" Max yelled letting his emotions control him for the first time with his daughters. 

Lea and Ivy both gasped and Max ran to catch Ivy who almost slipped off the counter trying to get down quickly. 

"WHAT THE HELL DO YOU THINK YOU WERE DOING! WERE YOU EVEN THINKING!? YOUR SISTER COULD'VE GOTTEN HURT!" Max yelled at his older daughter. 

You heard the commotion from the room running out to check on the situation. "I WANT YOU BOTH IN YOUR ROOMS, NO TV, NO GAMES, GO STRAIGHT TO BED!" Max continued yelling. 

Both Ivy and Lea were in tears at seeing their dad so angry for the first time in their lives, running straight to their rooms. 

"Max calm down." Your heart broke, you knew Max was never like this with your daughters and it scared you to see this side of him come out, feeling partly guilty for it. 

"Oh wow...so now you decide to talk to me." Max scoffed pushing past you and into your room. 

Your heart broke at the action, but he was right. You knew he needed time to cool off so you headed to your daughter's room to check on them. 

Opening the door you had to try to hold back your own tears at the sight. Lea held Ivy in her arms as they both sobbed. You couldn't say anything to afraid to burst into tears so instead sat by your daughter's bed and hugged them both. 

"I-I-I'm so-so-sorry-ma-ma." Lea hiccuped not being able to catch her own breath at how much she cried. 

This time you felt a few tears run down your cheeks. "Hey baby it's okay." You took her face in your hands trying to soothe her. "Lea honey it's okay." You blew gently on your daughter's face trying to calm her down. 

"Pa-pa's- ang-angr-angry." she continued hiccuping. 

"I know darling he shouldn't have yelled like that baby. He loves you so much, we both do." You reminded her kissing her forehead. 

Eventually, Ivy had fallen asleep crying on her sister's lap so you picked her up and moved her to her bed tucking her in. You then went back to your older daughter who was having a little bit of a harder time settling down. 

"Lea listen sometimes people get angry at other things and they feel so angry for a long time that when something else happens they just blow up and scream." You tried your best to explain to your daughter. 

"Like papa?" She asked. 

"Yeah like Papa Baby, Papa's feeling a lot of things because of something else and unfortunately he just took it out on you." You revealed. 

Little did you know Max was listening from outside, after cooling off a little he felt bad and meant to go apologize to his daughters but stopped once he heard you inside with them. 

"But why?" Lea asked. "Why is papa angry mama?" Lea was almost 6, you knew she was starting to get a better grasp of things and you also knew being honest with her would be the best thing for her right now so after thinking about it for a few seconds you decided to just be honest with her. 

"Do you remember on Ivy's 2nd birthday when she wished for a brother?" You asked your daughter. 

"Yeah," Lea replied moving her head to look up at you. 

"Well your Papa and I after that, after talking a lot tried to make another baby..."Your voice broke. 

Max's heart broke at hearing you struggle to speak. 

"Well, we tried for a long time and Mama just couldn't get another baby in her tummy which made both Mama and Papa really really sad." You revealed. 

"Why won't the baby go in your tummy mama?" Lea asked innocently, reaching for her little hand to wipe some tears off your cheek. 

"I don't know baby, maybe mommy's broken." You were full-on crying but you could see your daughter's understanding eyes at the situation. 

"Is that why Papa doesn't say I love you with his eyes anymore?" Lea asked again, oblivious to the impact her question had on her parents. Max fell to his knees outside the room distraught at the guilt he could hear in your voice, and about the fact that his daughters and possibly you thought he didn't love you anymore. 

"I don't know honey...maybe. It's not easy when you want something really really bad and you just can't get it so it can make you feel a lot of things, mommy feels like it's her fault that the baby doesn't want to go in her tummy." You tried to finish explaining. 

"I'm sorry Mama." Lea apologized once more. "But even if you are broken mama I'll still love you the same, I'll even say it with my eyes if you want." Lea smiled imitating her dad by blinking her eyes I love you just like her dad used to do. 

This time your tears were of gratitude at feeling the love your daughter had for you, the simplicity with which her mind understood the situation and tried to make you feel better. "Thank you, baby." You hugged your daughter placing kisses on her cheek. 

Lea settled enough, feeling a little better at understanding why things had been a little weird at home lately. You watched her fall asleep. You took a deep breath ready to have a difficult conversation with your husband praying it might go a little similar to the conversation you had with your daughter. 

You walked out of their room and were surprised to find Max sitting outside, his back to the wall with his face in his hands. You could tell he'd been crying from the wet spots on his shirt and trousers. 

"Maxy." You fell to your knees beside him. 

Max pulled his hands away as you both wrapped your arms around each other at the same time. You both started crying in each other's arms, Max holding you tightly against him. 

"You're not broken, I never thought so either I just wanted you to talk to me." He whispered. "I love you so much and I'm sorry I ever let you doubt it, and I'm sorry for screaming at Ivy and Lea, I'm just- I'm so sorry for everything" Max cried tucking his face in the crook of your neck.

"I'm sorry, I'm sorry I felt so useless and frustrated I couldn't get pregnant. I know how long you've been trying to hold it together for us, for all of us and I shouldn't have ever let you carry all of it on your own. I'm sorry too for everything."  You also apologized. "I love you, Max, I don't think I'll ever be able to stop loving you I just wanted to give us another baby." 

"I know." Max sighed pulling back and wiping tears from under your eyes with his thumbs. "Look I would love to have another baby with you, I'd have a 100 if it was with you but I'm so enamored by the family you've given me already, our girls...they're the best thing that have ever happened to me and if trying to have another baby is gonna cost us...us...than I don't want it." Max was honest. 

You nodded agreeing with his words. 

"It doesn't mean we stop trying, we can if that's what you want but I just want you back first, I need us to be okay before trying again okay?" He asked you. 

"Yeah." You agreed once more. 

Max rested his forehead against yours. You heard him take a deep breath. "God I missed you." he sighed before leaning down to place his lips against yours. 

You kissed him back harshly almost desperate to taste him again mentally questioning yourself how you were able to survive without this for as long as you did. "I love you," you whispered as you momentarily pulled away to catch your breath. 

But Max kept kissing you not wanting for this to stop, as if his body was trying to catch up on all the time he spent without your touch. "I love you." He whispered back scooping you into his lap, your legs wrapping around him as he stood up with you in his arms before taking you to your bedroom. 

Laying you down on your shared bed it once again felt right, being shared with him. Max was quick to get you naked, teasing you as he prepared you for him.

"I adore you." He whispered as he slipped into you. You'd be okay.

[beecauseevan]

first kiss in front of the team/at work!!

"You ready?" 

Eddie turns. He's been staring at the firehouse, but Buck is a much prettier sight, cast in gold by the morning sun filtering through the car windows.

"Ready? For work?" 

"Sure." Buck rolls his shoulders into the Jeep's driver's seat in a half shrug. "For work, and for—you know. Twenty-four hours is a long time."

Eddie leans against the door at his back, a smirk blooming on his face. "Is that a pickup line?"

"I don't have to use pickup lines on you," Buck tells him, but he's smirking too. "I picked you up a while ago."

Eddie hums.

"All I'm saying," Buck continues, "is that twenty-four hours… is a long time."

Eddie could keep playing hard to get. Taking the bait sounds more rewarding, though. He reaches for Buck, curls his fingers into the front of Buck's black t-shirt,  "Guess I better stock up on this while I still have the chance, huh?"

"I guess so," says Buck.

Eddie looks over his shoulder at the parking lot. It's empty, not a soul in sight.

"We're all alone," Buck mutters, voice softer than before, though the gleam in his eyes hasn't changed.

"All alone," Eddie agrees, and tugs him close.

They arrived in the parking lot half an hour early, but when they actually make it inside, their shift is about to start. That means the locker room is empty, which in turn doesn't mean much—the glass walls provide no privacy—but Buck is nothing if not bold.

"Stop," Eddie mutters, fumbling with the buttons of his shirt, which hangs half-open from his shoulders. He doesn't have to glance up to know Buck is looking at him, can feel the weight of his gaze on the exposed skin of his chest. It makes him feel stupid, and tingly all over, and warm.

"I'm not doing anything," Buck replies, equally quiet, though the smile in his words is loud. 

"You're staring."

"I'm admiring."

And, honestly. Buck just spent four consecutive nights admiring every inch of Eddie's body. He should've looked his fill by now, but when Eddie finally meets his eyes, the hunger in Buck's smile is as obvious as it was this morning, yesterday, two weeks ago. Eddie shivers, glancing past Buck at the app bay to make sure nobody is watching them. 

What if they both took a sick day? What would Bobby say then?

He pulls himself together and slaps Buck's (gloriously naked) chest. "Get dressed."

"Yessir."

"Oh my god," says Eddie, and moves to the other side of the locker room before he forgets himself. 

And just in time, too. Hen knocks on the glass door, then sticks her head inside. "You guys coming?"

"Did the bell ring?" Buck asks, eyes wide. 

Hen narrows hers and looks from Buck to Eddie and back to Buck. "No. I think you would've heard that."

"Right," says Buck. "Sure. I wasn't distracted or anything."

Hen frowns at Eddie, clearly expecting him to know what is going on with Buck, and she's not wrong, but Eddie shrugs anyway, feigns ignorance. Hen sighs.

"Bobby made waffles," she says. "If you don't hurry up, I'm giving your share to Ravi."

The city keeps them busy, after that, provides them with a steady stream of fender benders and fires and the occasional cat stuck in a tree. By the time they get another moment to themselves, the sun is setting over the city and the station is awash in shades of crimson and gold.

Eddie is just stepping off the treadmill, sweaty and in dire need of a shower, when Buck joins him in the gym.

"Hey," Buck says. 

Just that. Just hey. He's smiling and his curls look soft in the afternoon sun, and Eddie wonders if this will ever stop being thrilling, if he'll ever be able to look at Buck without feeling like his chest is going to burst from all this love, if he'll ever be able to exist in Buck's presence without wanting, no, needing, to put his hands all over that glorious body.

"Hey yourself," he says, and Buck's smile widens, and he steps towards Eddie as if magnetized.

"I've missed you."

"You saw me ten minutes ago."

Buck shrugs. "You know what I mean."

Eddie does. He doesn't wish that he didn't. He likes knowing. 

"Sixteen hours," he says lowly, as Buck stops in front of him, just a few inches shy of appropriate—but then they've never needed much personal space when it came to each other. "Think you can manage?"

"Barely," Buck replies, before his smile sweetens. He looks down at his feet and Eddie looks down too, at Buck's hands, which are twitching at his sides as though they're desperate to reach out. "But, yeah. I'll manage."

Eddie nods. He drags his eyes back up and finds Buck watching him in return. He's so close Eddie can count his lashes, could trace the smile lines in the corners of his eyes.

"There you are." Chim strides into the gym and stops dead in his tracks, frowns at them, which may or may not have something to do with the fact that Eddie just jumped away from Buck like he's been stung. "What's going on?"

"Nothing," Eddie says, too quickly.

Chim's frown deepens. Behind him, Hen appears on the scene of the crime, watching them over Chim's shoulder.

"If you guys are in some kind of trouble—"

And really, that's just uncalled for. Eddie opens his mouth and closes it again when he realizes he doesn't really have an excuse. Not for the first and probably not for the last time, Buck saves him.

"It's, uhm. Christopher's birthday party," he says. "We're—making plans."

Hen looks at Chim, who shakes his head.

"Chris' birthday is months away," she says.

"Well." Buck scratches the side of his neck. "Doesn't hurt to be prepared, right?"

He slides a pointed look Eddie's way, waiting for backup. Eddie opens his mouth.

It's new, still, this thing between them, new but not fragile. Three weeks ago, when their first kiss shattered every single one of Eddie's defenses, when he finally allowed himself a shot at true happiness, he warned Buck—told him that it would take him some time, that he would not be able to be Buck's plus one to a wedding any time soon.

Buck laughed at him, told him to stop worrying and we're not going to any weddings anyway, Eddie, unless you know something I don't, and kissed him again, and ever since then, he's been—patient, and careful, and wonderful, and everything Eddie could ask for and more.

He'd live like this, in secret, for another six years if Eddie asked it of him.

"Cause, you know," Buck continues, probably realizing that Eddie is too distracted to help him, and covering for him immediately, because he has his back even now. "Teenagers, they have—expectations. Right?"

"Right," says Eddie, and then he reaches out a hand and cups Buck's cheek and pulls him into a kiss, firm and sweet. When he breaks away, Buck is slack-jawed and glowing, and Eddie clears his throat and turns back to Chim and Hen, who are watching them with twin blank expressions. "Any more questions?"

"Huh," says Chim.

"Huh," adds Hen, and then, to Chim, "you owe me so much money. I knew it would happen before Christmas."

Chim groans loudly. Eddie leaves him to his misery and turns to Buck, who still looks stunned.

"Okay?" he asks quietly. He's lightheaded and giddy and so, so happy.

Buck's expression morphs into something different, something new, something that looks a lot like the inside of Eddie's chest feels—soft and warm and wonderful. "Okay. You?"

They have to talk to Bobby, and soon. Their future holds questions, of that Eddie is sure, and a lot of paperwork. He doesn't care about any of that right now.

"Never better," he says, and kisses Buck again.

[solxamber]

Dragon's Favourite Sacrifice – Trey Clover x reader

Trey finds himself volunteering to be the human sacrifice to you in place of his siblings. What he didn't expect was to become your housekeeper instead of being eaten.

Crossposted from my ao3!

The village doesn’t know how to react when Trey volunteers as a sacrifice. He’s fully prepared for the worst, thinking back on all the horror stories the elders tell about the dragon god—the terrifying, ancient being that can destroy their village with one swipe of a claw. At least, that’s what everyone says.

But it had to be done. The village is on the brink of disaster and their last hope was the dragon god that lived in the mountains. The villagers began to proclaim that this was happening because they forgot to send a sacrifice in recent years. And when the current sacrifice chosen turned out to be one of his younger siblings, Trey had no choice but to volunteer himself.

As he approaches the temple, though, Trey wonders why the place looks like it hasn't been touched in years. Not exactly what you’d expect from a wrathful deity.

Maybe they just don't care about keeping things tidy before eating their next victim?

The inside of the temple is surprisingly cozy, but he doesn't have time to think about it. You, the ancient dragon, make your entrance—or rather, you wander in, yawning, and blink at him like you've just woken up from a really long nap.

“Hey… uh, are you the dragon god?” Trey asks, clutching the bundle of supplies he'd brought along.

You stretch, wings fluttering lazily behind you, before giving him a confused look. "Who else would I be? The village’s lost pet?"

Trey blinks. This is not what he was expecting. He was ready for a quick, brutal end. Maybe some fire and brimstone. Not... this.

“Right.” He clears his throat. “I’m Trey, from the village. They sent me as the sacrifice.”

You squint at him like he's just told you the most ridiculous thing you've ever heard. "Sacrifice? They still do that? I haven’t asked for a sacrifice in… decades. I was actually happy to not have my nap interrupted by scared humans. I was going to help with the crisis anyway."

Now it’s Trey's turn to stare. “You… don’t want the sacrifice?”

"Nope." You shrug, completely nonchalant. "You can go back to the village if you want. Or, if you're looking for a change of scenery, the village on the other side of the mountain is kinda nice."

Trey lets out a small sigh, but it’s not exactly relief. “I… can’t. If I go back, they'll think the offering was rejected. My siblings could suffer for it."

You pause, then nod thoughtfully. "Ah, yeah, human politics." You click your tongue. "I hate when that happens. Well, just so you know, the past sacrifices? Yeah, they all ended up in the village on the other side of the mountain."

Trey’s jaw drops. "Wait… what?"

"Yeah." You nod sagely. "They all thought the same thing—'Oh no, the dragon’s gonna eat me'—but I just sent them over there.”

He blinks at you again, trying to absorb all of this information. "So… you don’t actually…?"

"Eat people?" you finish for him, giving him a strange look. "No. That’s gross. Why would I do that?"

Trey's lips twitch upward. A beat of silence passes before Trey clears his throat again. "Mind if I stay, then? I can cook, clean, and—"

You give him a sideways glance, and your eyes light up. "Wait. You cook?"

"Yeah," Trey says, still trying to grasp that he’s negotiating his survival with a dragon.

A slow grin spreads across your face. "Well then, you’re hired. Welcome to dragon duty."

Trey’s not sure whether to laugh or cry at how anticlimactic this has all turned out. He’d prepared himself for noble sacrifice, but instead, he’s somehow signed up for dragon housekeeping duty. With a deep breath, he puts on a smile. "So, uh, what do you want for dinner?"

From that moment on, life with you is… surprisingly comfortable. Trey, ever practical, makes himself useful.

He handles things with the same calm practicality he’d use back in the village, except now, there’s a giant, sometimes snarky dragon looming over him as he goes about his tasks.

He spends his days cooking, tending to the temple’s neglected gardens, and even baking pastries—though you still don’t believe him when he says there’s no oyster sauce in his sweets.

“You’re pulling my tail,” you mutter, eyeing the perfectly innocent-looking cake Trey’s set out in front of you. “I can taste something weird in it.”

Trey just smiles. “Oyster sauce. Definitely.”

You huff, giving up on trying to figure him out, and focus on enjoying your meals and new company instead.

One evening, after a particularly good dinner (with no discernible oyster flavor, much to your disappointment), you glance at Trey lounging by the fireplace. He's been here for a while now, and you find that you're quite enjoying his company. In fact, you're enjoying it a little too much.

"So, you’re not as terrifying as the stories make you out to be," Trey comments one day, setting down a plate of food.

You snort, flipping lazily on your side. "Thanks, I guess. Humans are always so dramatic."

"And the drought?" Trey asks, raising an eyebrow.

"Taken care of," you reply with a smug smile. "Already brought in the rains.”

He nods and settles down next to you, holding a book from the library that you never bothered to visit.

Well, it's now or never. “So,” you begin, almost casually, “I’ve decided.”

“Decided what?” Trey looks up from the book he’s reading.

“That you’ll be my mate.”

He nearly drops the book. “Your... what?”

“My mate.” You stretch your wings, trying to look as imposing as possible—though you’re pretty sure Trey isn’t intimidated by you anymore. “You’re the first human who actually stuck around. And you can cook. That’s mate material.”

Trey is, understandably, at a loss for words. “…You’re serious?”

“Completely.” You flash him that grin again, all teeth and playful confidence. “Unless you’ve got a better offer somewhere else?”

Trey pinches the bridge of his nose, but the smile tugging at his lips betrays him. “No, I think I’ll stick around.”

And just like that, Trey Clover—the supposed human sacrifice—finds himself the mate of a centuries-old dragon. Maybe this wasn’t the fate he expected, but all things considered… it could be worse.

At least the dragon likes his cooking.

Masterlist

[sanguineterrain]

a bloody vow | jason todd

Summary: After the racy encounter with your knight, you seem to lose all progress made in your relationship. You hardly talk, and you're lonelier than ever. But after a house break-in has you running to Jason for help, you're forced to face each other, blood and all.

Pairing: knight!Jason Todd x gn!reader 

Word count: 2.3k

Warnings/tags: violence! Jason kills a man. reader and jason's house is broken into and the thief attacks the reader (but they're okay.) mentions of self-flagellation, religious guilt. reader feels very lonely without their big strong knight :( the eroticism of killing for another person. codependence. partial nudity. probably not the healthiest relationship but whatevs. Jason would do anything for them what more could you want?

the divider

Everything's changed since the morning that you found Jason with the whip.

He won't even eat with you anymore.

He accepts whatever you make and thanks you quietly, then eats his supper in the shed. He didn’t say much before—now you're lucky if you get more than a word from him.

He's also taken to punishing himself regularly. Jason does it far away, so he won't wake you. But you've seen his back and the welts peeking beneath his tunic and the spots of blood. You also see fresh injuries from his training, injuries that could be avoided if he was more careful. You've tried to offer him a salve to heal his back. He always refuses, flinching like a kicked dog if you get too close.

You fear that you'd pushed Jason too far that morning. You replay it in your mind, wondering what exactly had possessed you to act in such a vulgar manner. Exposing yourself to him like that after spying on him earlier—what were you thinking?

You weren't, is the truth. It seems all rational thought leaves your brain when you're around him.

It's truly like living with a ghost. Your feelings are jumbled, caught in a maelstrom of guilt and fear and desire. More than anything, you're unbearably lonely. You'd feared a harsh hand when you first were deposited into Jason's bed. You never imagined that there could be a worse fate than being wanted: being ignored.

So, it's been three weeks of this new routine. Jason has been disappearing at night to the pub. Not that he told you that—you know this because of the incessant gossip that flies around the market. It's not hard to decipher who the 'hulking knight' is when people stare at you.

You try not to think about what Jason gets up to. You really have no right to be angry if he finds someone to warm his bed. You're lucky he hasn't thrown you into the sea after your insolence.

Routine is all that keeps you sane. You do the washing and cooking without complaint. Jason still leaves you money to go to the market, and sometimes you save a couple of coins to buy books. You keep the books under a floorboard in your room. He never asks you for change.

You don't know if this routine will be enough, though. You wish Jason would just throw you out and be done with it. You're certainly not performing the duties that the king expected of you when he brought you here. Jason can hardly look at you, much less touch you.

You eat alone tonight. By the time you wash up and are ready for bed, it's late. Jason still isn't home.

Not unusual these days. You get into bed and blow out the candle. Maybe you won't wake in the morning. Then you'll both be free.

A crash jerks you out of slumber.

You're awake immediately, fumbling under your bed for the small dagger you'd secretly purchased when you first came.

Your first thought is that Jason came home drunk. But if he’s come home drunk in the past, you've never heard him, and it's always as quiet in the morning as it was the night before.

A chilling second thought hits you as the floor creaks outside your door.

Someone's broken in.

You quietly get to your feet, dagger in hand. If Jason were home, he would be here already, dealing with the problem. As it is, you're alone and completely vulnerable without your knight.

Your door splinters open. You stumble backwards.

"Wha' have we here?" A lantern shines in your face. "Look a' this. Pretty thing like you shouldn't be left alone."

You bolt for the front door.

“Oh, no no, you don’t.”

The intruder darts after you and stops you before you can open the door. He hauls you backwards and throws you against the dying fireplace. You land on your ribs and the wind is knocked out of you.

"Too big of a house for a little mouse like you,” the man says with a greasy sneer. 

You turn and lunge at him. You catch him off guard enough to stab his shoulder with the dagger. He howls in pain and shoves you off. Your head hits the wall, and for a moment, you fear you’ll vomit. But you don’t, so you stand.

"You bitch!" he shouts. "I'll fuckin' kill ya for that!"

That's all the motivation you need to run.

You’re aching all over, head pounding. Your legs are cold, being that you're only in a nightgown. You might be bleeding. But you keep running.

You run all the way into town, which feels like miles at this time of night, bruised as you are. It’s easy to find the pub, and it doesn’t even occur to you that you’re not allowed inside. All that’s on your mind is Jason. Find Jason.

You pound your fists on the door of the pub, crying.

"Jason, Jason!" you shout. “Help me, please! Please!”

The door opens. You stumble in, almost tripping on the uneven wood. Men stare at you as you enter.

"Jason!" you yell.

A knight you don't recognize stares down at you, blocking your path. You stumble back, grabbing the wall for support.

"Out," he snarls. 

"Please," you beg. "Please, I need my husb—"

He's shoved aside suddenly, ale sloshing over his mug. He growls in protest, but someone drags him away by the back of his tunic. 

Relief floods you at the familiar face who takes his place. Jason.

He's obviously shocked to see you here, eyes roving over you. His shirt is unbuttoned, a thin fresh cut on his cheek. He says your name. Every inhibition you’ve felt over the last month disappears.

"What—"

You throw yourself into his arms, weeping. Jason catches you, cradling the back of your head. You're surrounded by him, the rest of the world blocked out. He smells like the strong yellow soap you make in large chunks because it’s cheaper than purchasing it at the market. He smells like the home you share.

"What is it? Where do you hurt?" he asks quietly, shielding you from all the pairs of eyes. He rubs your back, bent over you. You cling to his neck, shaking with the memory of tonight.

"A man b-broke in," you say, and Jason's grip tightens. "He said–he said he w-would...k-kill…"

You trail off. Jason pets you, breathing even on your neck.

You know that you hardly have any rights, that the men here would sooner see you die than step into danger for you. Perhaps that includes Jason too. Perhaps it's too late. 

"I understand," Jason says into your ear. He doesn’t waver despite how you tremble. "It's alright. I won't let him hurt you again. I'm... I'm so sorry for leaving you alone."

He exhales, long and slow. You feel him begin to pull away. You panic, digging your nails into his arms. Jason quickly soothes you. He doesn’t chastise you for clawing him. 

"It’s alright. I'm going to handle this, and then we'll go home," he says. "Roy."

A redheaded knight approaches. You slowly turn your head. He smiles gently at you.

"Your Highness," he says, bowing deeply, and you feel a little lighter.

"Roy's going to take you home while I handle the thief," Jason says. "I promise that I'll be fast, alright?"

"You promise you won't leave?" you ask. “You’ll come home right away?”

Jason takes your hand, stroking your knuckles. "I swear. May God strike me down if I don't return."

“Oi, man, get your little harlot out of—”

Jason stands, rising and towering over the angry drunk. He’s immediately cowed under Jason’s gaze.

“Watch your mouth,” Jason says, even and deadly. The man leaves in a huff.

"I'm sorry for causing trouble," you whisper, cheeks still wet.

"You haven't," is all he says, before leading you outside.

You have an audience, which is absolutely humiliating, but neither Jason nor Roy pays them any mind, so you don’t either. 

Roy helps you onto his horse, and in the time that that takes, Jason is already headed back to the house by the time you and Roy start off. You realize then that you trust Jason. You've never met this Sir Roy in your life—Jason's never even mentioned having friends. But you trust that you will get home safely. 

“Jason won’t let him get away,” Roy says. You believe him.

The ride is short. You don’t know if you’ll manage to go back to sleep without Jason there, but the least you can do is host Roy, perhaps. You’re bone-tired, but you ought to be hospitable, shouldn’t you?

But as you get closer to the cottage, you hear voices in the woods. Jason’s horse is out front. You dismount without Roy's help and take off running. He calls after you. You ignore him.

You don't go through the house, not ready to face the destruction your intruder left in his wake. Instead, you go around and follow the stream into the woods. The voices get louder. When you get to the clearing by the shed, you stop.

The lantern has been knocked onto its side, flames flickering. But you can very clearly make out Jason in the dark. His shadow cuts a frightening figure that dances across the trees. Moonlight flickers through the canopy, illuminating him and the other figure. Your attacker.

Your attacker, who’s discovering that he picked the wrong house to rob.

Jason's got him pressed against a tree. Blood drips from the man's head and face. You stay a few yards away, behind a tree. The bark dully bites into your hand. You’re torn on whether you should make yourself known or not. Stop this or not.

"You touched them," Jason says, and does something with his sword that draws out a strangled groan from the attacker. The metal shines with fresh blood.

"I am worse than you," he continues. "I lost sight of my duty. My reason for living. Everything I do is for the star-crossed beauty my king captured for me. It's all I can do to pay penance for my sins. And you come into my house and dare to lay a hand on what is mine?"

The breath leaves you in a punch. You're cold with sweat, but something tugs at your gut. Something frightening. Something that tells you to stay hidden.

"I am worse," Jason says. "Because a good man would show you mercy and let you be hanged for your crimes."

"That fuckin' bitch deserved it," the intruder spits.

Here, Jason loses his composure. Here, he twists his sword.

"I will tear you apart," he says, voice a snarl.

And Jason does exactly that. It's bloody and gory. You feel sick a few times. You can't see everything in the fractured light, but you can hear it all. Bones crack, the man screams, but Jason doesn't relent. He drives his sword deeper and deeper. Blood gurgles from the attacker's mouth.

You watch on, feeling quite like you had the day you saw Jason fucking his fist.

The body drops with a thud as Jason lets him go. You imagine a sword slick with blood. You imagine Jason covered in it.

The realization is dizzying. You are an executioner, and Jason is your axe.

You don't know what you're more horrified by: the fact that it took you this long to look away or that you don't mind the stench of fresh blood.

Jason takes two steps and picks up the lantern. He sees you. He stops.

"He's dead," you say dumbly.

Jason swallows, face otherwise blank. "You... you were not meant to see that."

"I didn't." But you did.

He knows you did.

"Roy should've taken you inside," Jason says.

You can't understand why shame draws the lines of his shoulders. 

"I didn't want to go inside," you say. "Not without you."

Jason inhales sharply. Then he looks away. "I shouldn't have... I pray that you'll forgive me, but I understand if you don't."

Jason is covered in more than a little blood. Red spatters his cheek, though it looks black in the shadows.

He's slick with blood. You wonder if he'll bathe in the river. If you might help him.

You step forward. Jason is still. He watches you steadily as you approach.

You pull down the sleeve of your nightgown and reach for Jason's face. He flinches. You hush him.

"It's alright," you whisper.

He lets you touch his cheek. His eyelids flutter as you wipe the blood from his face. Then you hold his cheeks with both hands. Jason shudders.

"You can touch me," you say.

Immediately, Jason shakes his head, hands curling into fists at his side.

"No. I'm unclean. You shouldn’t touch me either, you’ll—you’re—”

"I don't mind." Your thumbs trace the contours of his face for a moment, feeling the hard line of his nose, the curve of his jaw, his full bottom lip. He lets you, eyes locked on yours.

Then, you pull up your nightgown, revealing your bare thighs, your underwear, your belly. Jason’s chest heaves. He immediately looks away. But you’re quick. You guide Jason's hand with your other hand. He stains your flesh with blood. You picture the sticky, bloody handprint he'll leave on your waist. That frightening feeling returns. 

Jason's hand is hot on your skin. He exhales shakily. 

"I'm sorry," he says again, cupping your waist. His fingers gently knead your skin as if he's testing if you're real. It tickles, but you don't move, fearing Jason will pull away at the slightest jerk.

"Don't sleep in the shed anymore," you say.

"Alright."

"Eat supper with me."

"Okay."

You draw Jason closer. Blood smears your clothed chest. His thighs warm your exposed legs. You will not let him punish himself in the morning. You will sleep on his chest if that’s what it takes. Only you are allowed to draw blood from him. 

"Are you mine?" you ask.

Jason's answer is instant.

"Yes."

[wordsarelife]

—i can fix him (no really i can)

pairing: jess mariano x fem!doose!reader

summary: jess got into another fight and you're about to clean his wounds, but he has other plans, tired of always answering your questions

warnings: kissing, making out, sexual remarks, allusions to sex

note: this was so fun to write and my first jess mariano fic, so please be gentle guys!!

“you never fail to amaze me, jess mariano“ you huffed, arms crossed as your eyes fell on the boy sitting on the curb in front of the supermarket. shadows were casted over his cheeks and he looked less than happy to see you.

"it isn't what it looks like" he muttered, trying to avert his gaze, although that was kind of hard, considering the outfit you were wearing.

your brushed your skirt to the side, before you sat down beside him. "well, it looks like you got beaten up"

"you should see the other guy" jess chuckled.

you sighed, not amused by the joke, as you softly touched his cheek.

"ow!" jess pulled his head back, trying to free it from your hands, but you were relentless, turning his chin in all possible directions to get a good look at his injuries.

"we're gonna have to clean them if you don't want them to get infected"

"i don't care about that" jess shrugged and took out a cigarette from a pocket of his jacket.

"yeah, i know tough guy". you quickly snatched the cigarette from his mouth before he was able to light it. "but i do"

"what the fuck, y/n?" jess exclaimed annoyed.

you left his words unanswered as you stood up from the cold concrete and held a hand in his direction to help him up. "come on, now. we're not dating, because i care so little about you, are we?"

jess rolled his eyes, before he followed you, of course ignoring your helping hand in the process.

you laughed at his tough act as he sent you a dark look, not finding anything about this remotely funny. he knew that this was one of your usual tactics to get him to talk. you would act understanding and worried about his injuries before he would be caught in a room alone with you, with no way to escape, having to explain every little detail about the fight.

well, tonight he decided, you were going to be caught in a room with him.

a smug smile slipped onto jess' features as he followed you up the stairs. you turned around and pushed a finger against your mouth, before you took out your keys and unlocked the door.

"grandpa is sleeping" you muttered, opening the door wide enough for jess to walk through, but not wide enough to reach the creaking sound.

jess and you had met the year before at the supermarket, where you had watched him buy a ridiculous amount of industrial glue, while he was busy watching rory and dean talk.

you had guessed that he had been doing that to bother them and while rory was a friend of yours, you had to admit that it had been a little funny.

unbeknownst to you, jess had forgotten everything about rory, once his eyes fell on you behind the counter.

"are you working on the worlds longest scrapbook or are you just very passionate about glue?"

"huh?" jess had been so stunned by what you said that he lost his usual cool demeanor and found himself at a temporary loss for words. he couldn't remember a situation in which he had not been able to reply with a witty joke.

"want me to repeat that?" you asked amused as you pulled the last bottle of glue over the scanner.

"no-uh" he shook his head "i'm jess, luke's nephew"

"oh" you smiled, a sign of recognition in your eyes "that's you!"

"and you are?" he held the ten dollar note in your direction.

you took the money, taking out his change in the process. "i'm y/n, taylor doose's—"

you were interrupted when the aforementioned man stepped next to you, a frown on his face at the sight of jess. "i'm her grandfather" he finished for you. "and you're gonna stay far away from her, you hear me, mariano?" he pressed.

"grandpa!" you scolded and jess was surprised at the sudden shame that entered taylor doose's face. it seemed like he really gave a damn about your opinion, unlike he did with anyone else in this town.

"well, i'm gonna check on miss patty and her plums" taylor excused quickly and walked away, before you could question him further.

"please don't mind him" you told jess, amusement evident on your lips "i just got back and he's been a little on edge without me here"

"where have you been?" jess asked, intrigued to hear more about the mysterious and pretty girl in front of him.

"my dad's" you replied with an uneasy smile. he recognized the expression on your face, had he always worn it himself when someone had asked him about his parents.

he decided not to stir the pot any more. "well, i'll see you around, doose" jess said, took his glue and left you standing with only a faint goodbye from your lips.

jess' hands went to squeeze your waist, as you closed the door.

you were luckily able to suppress any sound at the sudden touch and you could jess' smirk in your neck.

"very funny, mariano" you whispered, freeing yourself from his grip and turning around to let him see the annoyed expression on your face.

his eyes glistened with happiness in the dark of the hallway, before his hand went behind your back, bringing you closer to him. "why don't we go to your room?" he whispered.

you had to admit that for a short, misguided, second the sweetness of his words was not far away from undermining you.

you shook your head, snapping out of whatever had gone through your head at his tempting suggestion. "nice try" you smiled sarcastically and jess sighed, letting go of you and following behind you to the bathroom.

jess was no stranger to your rejection, especially when your grandfather was home, but he was not finished trying to (respectfully) lead you into temptation.

"there are two options how we can do this" you spoke, your voice in a normal volume as soon as jess had closed the door.

before you could explain his options, he interrupted you, the smirk now basically right in your face when you turned up the light and looked at him. "want me to lock the door?"

"no" you dragged. "you know why? because we are not doing anything forbidden"

"forbidden, huh?" jess smiled "kinda like the sound of that"

"this is not a rom-com"

"oh no" jess shook his head, wearing a faked stoic expression "of course not. just two people doing non-forbidden things in the bathroom" he shrugged.

"it sounds wrong when you say it like that"

"what does it sound like?" he stepped closer to you, ready to touch your lips with his, as his eyes fell close, but you were quicker, swerving around him, before he was able to even touch you.

"nah-ah!" you scolded.

"what?" jess turned around, now crossing his arms like you had done earlier "i'm just trying to kiss my girlfriend"

"not happening" you shrugged. "so, as i was trying to tell you before: you have two options: first, the easy one: let me fix your face and we're done in no time"

"or?" he furrowed his brows, leaning against the wall.

"or" you repeated "the hard one" jess' smile got impossibly bigger and you rolled your eyes "ew, not like you think"

"fine" he sighed. "the easy one i guess, no need to tell me about your torture method"

"it's not a torture method, but thanks for thinking so poorly of me" you muttered, before you opened the drawer under the sink, taking out the first aid kink.

you climbed on top of the counter and motioned for jess to come closer and stand in between your legs.

"well, this is kind of suggestive, don't you think?" he pinched your waist. you just shook your head, taking his hand and laying it on top of your knee instead.

"keep your hands there, mister" you directed, before you grabbed a wet cotton pad and pushed up his chin, so you could gently take the unnecessary blood off his face. "for your own good, i hope that the other started throwing punches"

"of course" jess nodded, overly dutiful, before he hissed in pain as the cotton pad touched one of the scars on his nose.

"you should've thought about that before you got into an unnecessary fight, you know?" you commented, switching out the pad, before you continued cleaning the other side of his face.

"yeah, yeah" he averted his eyes, his gaze falling onto the hem of your skirt, his fingers were laying on top of. he softly raised the fabric, pushing his hands to rest on your bare thigh.

"jess" you sighed in a warning tone.

"what? it's itchy"

"it isn't" you rolled your eyes, but didn't discuss the topic further as you threw away the pad.

you tried reaching behind you to grab one of the plasters from the first aid kit, but jess was quicker, snatching the box away from you and holding it behind his back with one hand.

"wha—"

"give me a kiss first" he prompted, smirking.

"jess" you whined, not amused at his antics.

"just one kiss, come on babe"

you reluctantly nodded. jess stepped closer, taking your chin into his hand and pulling your face closer so your lips could meet his.

his lips were warm and firm against yours, his teasing grin fading as the kiss deepened. what was meant to be a quick peck quickly turned into something more. his hand, which had been holding the first aid kit out of reach, dropped it to the floor as he wrapped his arm around your waist, pulling you closer.

you could feel the intensity growing between you two, the playful resistance dissolving into a surge of unexpected desire.

jess' other hand moved to the small of your back, guiding you even closer as the kiss became more urgent, more consuming.

when you finally broke apart, breathless and flushed, he looked at you with a glint in his eye. "was that so hard?" he teased, his voice a little huskier than before.

"oh, shut up" you muttered, flustered and lips swollen as a cause of the intensity of the kiss. you gently shoved his face back. "now pick up the first aid kit you dropped"

"yes, ma'am"

you shook your head, laughing to yourself as you watched him reach for the box on the ground behind him. it had clattered open, revealing it's contents to the ground beneath it.

he threw everything back in the box before he picked it up and came back to the counter to stand in front of you.

you took a few plasters, opening them up to stick them to the cuts on his face. "you look cute" you commented as soon as you were finished.

"i'm not cute" jess exclaimed with a stoic expression.

"you're always cute" you shrugged, now being the one to take his chin into your hands. "especially when you tell me who you fought—"

he didn't even let you finish the sentence, before he pushed his lips against yours once more. even tough it was a clear tactic to avoid your questioning, you didn't mind it this time (not that you did before, but you had to at least act like it) pulling him closer by the neck and deepening the kiss.

jess moaned into your mouth, and your lips broke into a smile. his hands were now inching closer up your thighs and a soft laugh broke from your lips when you had to catch your breath.

"let's go to your room" jess muttered, lips skipping over your neck.

"grandpa is home" you reminded.

"grandpa is asleep" he pointed out, brows moving up and down suggestively.

"jess" you giggled, as he grabbed your waist, setting you down on the floor and taking your hand to leave the bathroom, before even waiting for an answer.

well, you weren't open to any more protests then, as he took you up to your room. the only thought in your head was to stay quiet.

opposite to the rest of the night, the next morning was straight hellfire, as neither you or jess had taken the time to set an alarm.

so taylor doose entered your room without the slightest thought and watched in horror as a half-naked jess mariano climbed out of your bedroom window and fell rather awkwardly on the ground in front of it. probably right into your grandpa's rose bushes.

"i think i might be having a heart attack"

[perfectlysanexd]

I haven't done one of these kind of posts in a while, but the expressions in Rebirth were top notch, and I wanted to talk a bit about and analyze Sephiroth's different smiles, both pre and post Nibelheim.

Nibelheim itself is difficult to gauge, because SOLDIER Cloud is actually Zack, and furthermore, some of it is definitely his own wishful thinking. But one thing you can say for sure, is that they portray that Sephiroth, despite being so emotionally weary, still summons up the energy to smile at his friend.

As soon as he turns away from Zack, his smile falls, and he doesn't give one to the Mayor at all.

However, when he turns back to inform the men that they're free until sundown, he summons up another smile for them. I don't think that he's just attempting to keep their morale up, he genuinely has affection for Zack, and cares for the others. He respects them for their service, putting their lives on the line for what they think is a good cause, and Sephiroth—as we saw in Ever Crisis—learned to be a compassionate person, who cares about the lives of others, even enemies.

Of course, he's deeply distressed during this time, the despair is eating him alive. Even Cloud acknowledges(despite having not known Sephiroth on a personal level) that he just wasn't himself once they arrived. But I'm not going to talk about my theories on all the Jenova stuff right now, that's not the focus here. Even at the window, you can tell he's feeling off, but when he turns to Zack, he attempts to smile again.

Sephiroth has never enjoyed his fame, and as we learned in Ever Crisis, he didn't choose it; Shinra made up bogus achievements and declared him to be a hero before even his first field assignment, as part of their recruitment campaign. Can't argue with results, I guess—it certainly got Cloud to join up out of hero worship, right? In EC, Sephiroth admits that all he ever wanted was to be normal, something that he knows he can never have. How sad...

So when this man wants to take his picture, it's no wonder that he's over it by then, and tells him no. And rather politely, too, all things considered. But even before that, he smiles and tells Zack that as long as he does his job, their young tourguide will be safe.

But as soon as he turns his back and walks away? Yeah, that smile immediately fades.

Which certainly doesn't change when the guy takes his picture. But of course, when Zack asks Sephiroth to pose for one, he just can't say no, even though he's not super happy about it. Anyway, he continues to smile at Zack for the duration of their journey up Mt. Nibel, making an effort to talk and even cracking a couple jokes, just trying to be a good leader and keep them in good spirits.

And of course, there's the very sad bridge part, where you can tell that he's genuinely upset that he failed to save the other infantryman that got washed away. He searches for him, but comes up empty-handed. Still, he smiles for Zack and teases him about a performance assessment, since their morale is quite low now, but they need to keep going.

Honestly, the Nibelheim part of Rebirth really did an excellent job of portraying Sephiroth's inner struggle. For reference, there are only 3 points in Remake, I think, when Sephiroth drops his ever-present, sometimes affectionate(towards Cloud) and often unhinged, smile: First, it's replaced with sheer rage as he kills President Shinra.

Second time, is when Aerith has a Cetra moment and suggests that his entire existence is "wrong".

And the third time is when he holds out his hand to Cloud at the Edge of Creation, and is rejected by him.

Anyway, back to Rebirth. Ignoring the bizarre smiles he showed us as Nibelheim was burning, as if he was in a trance and just not all there(that's a subject for a different chat), post-Nibelheim Sephiroth's smiles are interesting, too, if we consider what kind they are, depending on who he's dealing with.

For people he hates, like Tseng, it's much more unhinged looking, and very cold. You can tell there's a certain measure of satisfaction from shanking him, haha...

For someone like Aerith, who...I wouldn't exactly say that he hates her, but she's definitely in the way. I would almost say that he considers her to be actively preventing Cloud from recovering his true memories, leading him to remain as merely Sephiroth's "puppet", but that's a theory for another day. He looks at her coldly, as well, but it's a bit different. There's a bit more respect there than there was for Tseng.

And then there's Zack. Actual Zack. I feel like, deep down, he still cares about him, and has no intention of killing him. I almost sense a little...regret? Maybe? Hm. It's definitely a bit warmer of a smile. And of course, although he had many opportunities to get rid of Zack, he doesn't. Instead, he sends him off into the space between worlds safely.

And of course, last but certainly not least, is the way he smiles at Cloud. I know, I know. "But Sane, you like sefikura, so you're biased!" Look, I won't deny that. However, when you really look at it and compare his smiles, which is what this is all about, his truest smiles are always saved for Cloud. He has 2 different "flavors": pure affection and cruel affection. (There are also a few pity smiles, I think.) The former is used most of the time, whenever Cloud is in his sight, and the latter is used during moments when he's trying to control/influence him. I would almost say that he's...satisfied, yet regretful at the same time?? Like these:

And now, let's contrast that with his more genuine, affectionate smiles for Cloud... (The first shot here ⬇ can be contrasted with the shot 2 up from the bottom there ⬆, as the one above is when he's calling Cloud his puppet, and the one below is when Cloud goes to attack him and he opens his arms wider for the incoming uh...embrace.)

Remake had many interesting smiles from him, too, but that will have to be a different post, as this already has 30 screenshots. Anywho, you're free to draw your own conclusions, and not everyone reads faces in the same way, so maybe I'm nuts. Who knows? Either way, I hope you enjoyed this random, indulgent, very long post, haha. If you made it to the end, you're awesome. 💕

All screenshots were taken by me on my PS5. I won't ask for credit on them, since literally anyone can take an identical shot if they pause at the right second. (The exception are the 3 Remake shots, which were taken on PC with mods and the freecam. For those, I would appreciate credit if you use them anywhere, since I don't watermark them.)

[married-to-google-translater]

Hello ! (⁠≧⁠▽⁠≦⁠) Could you please make Riddle x fem readet where's Riddle is crushing SOOO hard on reader that it drives him crazy like 'omg i have to marry her * sob sob *' ? I don't know if I got it right jdhfhdjdjdhd (Additional: Reader is extroverted and keeps annoying Riddle because it's a hobby for her and she's not from Heartslabyul.) Thank you so much ! ♡

Riddle Rosehearths

There would have been a special spark in your relationship with Riddle from the start.

At first Riddle really couldn't stand you.

You were wild, free and really didn't care about his rules or bother to learn them.

Besides that, you really liked the tease Riddle.

You justify it by saying that he is cute when his face is red~

It doesn't matter if it's from getting angry or blushing.

Or both at the same time :3

However, attitudes and people change with time.

Over time, Riddle will come to appreciate your always cheerful personality and carefree attitude.

He would try to model you.

At first, Riddle doesn't want to admit his feelings.

He knows his mother would never accept you.

Riddle would also be worried that you don't like him that way.

He wouldn't have time for heartache now that he had to study and secure a good future for himself.

However, he can't stop his thoughts from wandering...

Maybe someday Riddle will dare to confess his feelings for you.

[nemesyaaa]

knuckle velvet // killer!rafe cameron x fem!reader

summary ; ready or not (the movie) au. after a peaceful relationship and marriage with rafe cameron, you began to be the prey of your husband and his whole family in a twisted revisited hide and seek.

warnings : violence. blood. survival horror trope. smut. p in v. betrayal. manipulation.controlling behavior. sick/strange and freaky attitude. finale girl trope. horror au. blood kissing. mentions of guns. form of revenge. daddy issues. cameron family being crazy. a little twist. death of characters. knuckle velvet by ethel cain and somebody that i used to know by gotye lyrics coded. escaping. mentions of smoking. belly bulge. twisted ending. some spoilers for ready or not (movie). minors DNI. not really dark content but be careful with the warnings <3

author's note ; it's one-shot around 3k. i highly recommand ready or not. it's one of my fav movies and trope. tysm @rafecameroninterlude for helping me with the idea !

everyone in town said that rafe cameron was a dangerous and strange man. it was something that not only god knew, but you knew as well. you knew about his reputation but above all you knew who he was and what he had done.

he could have killed you thousands of times as he had done so to his victims, but you had always known how to keep the secret.

but now that he had proposed to you, three years later after the accident, things had changed.

you were the perfect girlfriend he wanted and he was the perfect boyfriend you dreamed of. your wedding was shaping up so well. you could already see yourself dressed in the most beautiful white dress in the church hallway while he waited for you in front of the altar.

everything with rafe cameron was what you reached for.

even the sex part, making out with rafe cameron was always fierce and rough, like the way his cock thrust deeply into you repeatedly, the curvy tip hitting your spot back and forth. you can feel his hand which was wrapped tightly around your neck, gripping you possessively like a leash, his fingers kept running into your bruised skin. “ don't fucking give up on me now.” he growled angrily against your ear, and pulled out his wet tongue to put a lick on your lobe, with and a savage bite.

“ don't try to run away pumpkin, or i'll make sure both of your legs know they’re mine by only making them fit with my cock buried inside you. understand ? nod pretty heart, give me the pleasure of knowing that you obey me.”

you nodded, letting out a moan as you felt his large and veiny girth fitting and bullying your spongy walls. his firm hips slamming into yours, as he gripped the side of your cheeks with a heavy hold, the strong slapping of skin to skin echoing louder in the room. he slipped two fingers inside your mouth, brushing them quickly against your dripping tongue, leaving your muscle with a trickle of drool falling from your open jaw. "good fucking dog, seems like i raised a perfect slut."

his words were so degrading but he turned you on so much. your whole body was covered with pretty and thrilling shivers, and his back and forth into you were so violent that tears quickly stained your cheeks. you cried like a baby while he fucked you like a big girl. you were as pathetic as the mess raining over your sloppy pussy that rafe abused massively by burying himself deep in it, while touching all your spots to hear your desperate and muffled cries that he was - of course the only one to give you.

you could feel his length reaching for your tummy, seeing the hugeness of his full shaft moving into your stomach as you gurgled passionately . he spat into your open mouth, whichwas stuffed with his fingers, forcing you to swallow his saliva. his palm was pressed against your flesh to feel the bulge of his cock destroying you with a smirk, while the huge clapping of your bodies sticking to each other, made your plushy cunt squeeze around him. his thrusts were harder and faster, and made you whine even more as the outline of his dick drew his strokes inside your belly.

the bed creaked beneath you. you were dizzy to the feeling of him plungingin your insides, your pussy soaking every inch of his cock that was tightened in your canal. your eyes rolled back, and he had his face pressed against your cheek.

there were those incessant noises in the light of your room. your two bodies slamming against each other, his sweat against your skin. rafe grabbed your neck more savagely, leaving it covered in bruises, which he licked with passion, while his dick continued to fuck you so hard that you no longer had the ability to think.

you were completely submissive. your cunt was in tatters, dripping on the mattress and around him. he pushed his fingers even further into your mouth to the point where you were gagging around them, a huge burst of drool exploding around your lips.

he mocked with a soft and harsh tone. "you can take this cock but you can't even suck my fingers properly? what a fucking baby."

your tears had redoubled on your face, and you had continued to suck again, going so far as to shove his fingers down your throat. the saliva was such that it foamed at the edge of your lips, and your mouth opened wide to work cleanly.

“ r-r....af..rafe” your words were muffled, as he fucked your dirty pussy filling it to the stomach. “s-to…” you had squirted so hard that you felt tingles all over your body like a slight paralysis.

you hadn’t waited long before reaching orgasm. in total, you had four. and rafe was still inside you, pounding into you like you hadn't had sex in a month.

his thumb rubbed your clit as he continued to thrust hard until you felt his cock each time your walls tightened around him, just so he could repeat to yourself how you were so fucking tight for him. you could feel his stomach twitching against your back, as you shifted positions. he had placed your hands above your spine, keeping them linked to sink more easily into you, and control every part of your body.

he released his sperm inside you, the hot rush of his load instantly warming your insides. and you cried out with one last breath, your body falling back onto the mattress.

after that, you showered. you were wearing clothes now, and you looked out the window. rafe had approached you, his hair still wet from the shower, and dripping onto the floor, a towel loosely draped around his sculpted hips.

he grabbed your hand to kiss it, his lips wrapping around your beautiful ring that must have been worth a fortune.

“i feel like your family doesn’t love me.” you confessed softly.

"believe me, it's a good thing." he replied.

"rafe, this isn't funny. i want them to like me, i want to be a part of your family.”

“ listen baby, my father always hated me even when i gave the best of myself to please him, did that kill me? no."

“it didn’t kill you because we don’t die from daddy issues. we are impacted. You want to please your father, and so do i.”

“you just need to be perfect for me, and you are. that’s all that matters.”

“i don’t have the same opinion.” you replied.

rafe had lit a cigarette, and looked up at you, you loved the blue of his pupils. he was so beautiful and unreal. it was just the only deep thing you could read in him.

"obviously you're not of the same opinion. but you don't need to be. either way, we're going to get married in any case."

"i never thought i would be rafe cameron's wife, i never even thought the kook prince rafe cameron would have a wife one day."

“i know you don’t believe in fairytales baby, so open your eyes because you exist.”

It’s been a week since that conversation, and especially since you and Rafe were married. today, rafe was driving you to the family mansion and you were completely nervous at the idea of meeting, finally, spending time with his family for a weekend.

“I’m here, okay?” he placed a hand on your leg.

it was strange this feeling you had in rafe's presence. you were sure he loved you, well, he acted like the perfect boyfriend but there was something so strange deep down. was rafe cameron really capable of loving someone?

you knew him to have a bad reputation. plus, you hadn’t always been the nice girl everyone knew.

to be honest, in high school, you were sometimes mean to boys, especially his type. when you were little, you grew up as a spoiled princess with the world at her feet. you knew something about rafe cameron that made it easy for you to keep him on a leash. but now, it was as if the situation was getting out of hand, or rather, the tables were turning.

you had arrived in the evening just in time for dinner. you greeted ward, his charming young wife and his two daughters, sarah and wheezie. they looked so different from rafe. you sat next to your husband hoping to make a good impression throughout the meal.

"how much did rafe pay you to go out with him?" sarah asked, making an obvious dig at her brother.

"sarah, it's only whores like you who pay to have someone. besides, how much did you spend for topper to agree to go out with you? so easy to spend daddy's money. " had replied rafe.

“oh sure, you can’t spend daddy’s money anymore.”

"enough!" Ward had cut in, banging on the table, making everyone jump. "We have a guest, be kind to each other. We are family."

you had felt rafe tense at the mention of the word family, so as he had done in the car to reassure you, you had stroked his thigh to calm him down.you massaged his thigh and the inside of his leg, gently reaching the bulge in his pants. with your fingers, you caressed the fly, playing with the closure. you were in a playful mood. but it was completely indecent since your in-laws were nearby. but as long as it calmed rafe down, that was all that mattered.

you had talked to everyone. you had a lot of sympathy for wheezie who was just a kid in the middle of it all.

“what if we played a game? in this family, we are very playful.” ward said.

suddenly the atmosphere became more joyful and festive. you had never seen so much excitement in the eyes of these people. even wheezie had a giant smile on his face.

“oh great, i love games ! ” you replied.

rafe hadn't said a word, as if he preferred to remain silent. you should have found it strange but you didn’t say anything. you always wanted to make a good impression with your in-laws.

“what if it was you who chose tonight’s game?” rafe had suggested. “you are our guest after all.”

“okay!” you responded enthusiastically.

sarah clapped her hands. rose looked at you strangely. ward smiled at you like you were his real daughter and wheezie...wheezie was always in a good mood. everything was perfectly fine.

rafe had brought you a box full of cards, and you rummaged through it, smiling.

when you opened your eyes, wheezie had read. “hide and seek! my favorite game!”

“I also loved hide and seek when I was little.”

“the rules are a little different…” the father began. "i mean, our rules. we like to play our way, it's more lucrative.”

“ you will be the only one to hide. and we will all try to find you.” the littlest girl explained.

“okay.” you replied.

“you don’t ask what will happen to you if we find you?” sarah asked, looking at you strangely but still with a pretty smile on her lips directed toward only you.

“for that, you have to find me first.” you replied.

“ seems like you're a really fun girl. ” sarah replied, winking at you.

“so find me.”

you started the game, venturing into the gigantic corridors of the mansion.

it was quite funny running around a house that looked like a castle in your stunning beautiful wedding dress. rafe had asked you to wear it, and you had listened to him, now here you were wandering upstairs with your petticoats flying above your quick steps.

you found a hiding place under the bed.

you waited several minutes before hearing someone walking down the hallway. you could hear each footstep hitting the ground. after a second of silence, the door slid open with a creak to let an anonymous person enter.

except that you had heard another loudly noise, that of a weapon being reloaded, and you placed a hand on your cheek. your heartbeat accelerated.

“i know you’re there. i know it because i can feel how scared you are.”

you recognized wheezie’s voice. and you wondered how such an innocent thing could hold a gun in her hands.

you had crawled to the other side to get out of the bed, facing away from her completely.

except she was quicker and drew the gun in front of you, her weapon aimed at you. “not a move, or i shoot you.”

"wheezie, it's me! don't shoot. what does that mean?"

“that you just lost.”

“wheezie don’t do that.”

“how are you going to stop me when you’re trapped?”

you had seen rafe slip discreetly into the room before shooting his sister in the back, without any qualms. you let out a cry of amazement. his cold face and feelings made you step back from him.

“ are you sick?? how can you do that? it’s your sister, rafe.”

“it was her or you. oh sorry, maybe you wanted to die? i can arrange that if you want.”

“no, i mean...why?”

“ok, maybe i lied to you.”

"so that was it...rafe cameron can't be perfect. no, rafe cameron is lying. you cannot lie to me. we're married, i'm your wife ! does that fucking mean nothing to you ? "

"this is not an ordinary hide and seek. the goal is for us to find you and kill you."

“you explain to me, what the hell is this? i absolutely don’t want to die. and there is no way you will let me with that faith.”

"eh...i'm here, i'm here for you, okay? do you trust me, baby?" he cupped both of your cheeks and placed his forehead against yours. "i swore loyalty to you, remember? i'm going to take care of you. now if you don't mind, we don't have much time before my family arrives. so follow me."

he took your hand and you followed him. you had started to go down the stairs when you came across ward and rose. when they saw your anguished look, your paralyzed eyes and the blood on rafe, they understood quickly the situation.

"rafe. " ward had warned. “let go of her.”

rafe had shown you another way and you had gone that way. but you weren't reassured because even though he was with his parents and let you gain time, sarah was somewhere nearby.

you went to the garden. and that was a fucking maze too. you were tired and sick of these giant hallways, and especially, running toward you had no idea where. you just wanted to escape the mansion and that whole crazy cameron family. it was not supposed to end up like this.

"don't try to run away, sweetheart . the game isn't over. "

you jumped when you heard sarah's voice behind your back. she had a loaded gun in her hands, ready to shoot your skull.

“scream and i'll make sure you have no more voice for the rest of your life, darling."

“sarah, i beg you, don't do this. you don't have to kill me.”

“ unfortunately for you i'm not rafe. those crybaby tears don't work on me. move one more time, and i will long for your corpse.”

you stopped moving, and sarah came closer.

except that the scene had happened atrociously quickly. you heard a gunshot, and her body fell onto the cool grass, with a stream of blood that covered your white dress in a red.

you thought this was the end of the game but a gun was now planted to your head.

you recognized this breathing, this warm, metallic smell of blood that was on yours too. it was rafe.

“rafe, what are you doing? it's me, your wife. ”

he pushed the barrel of his gun against your cheek, his finger pressed on the trigger, playing softly with the button to make you shiver even more. and his face was stuck on the other side of your cheek.

the beads of blood on him was now on your skin, dripping in drops against your mouth, sliding in the flesh of your opened lips, his sweaty nose sinking near your jaw.

"you don't want to tell me how innocent you are, and that you don't deserve all this? this is your final hour."

“does it please you to see me scared to death?”

"yeah, do you want me to tell you how much ?"

"rafe, i'm serious! don't kill me. i'm not your enemy.”

"i killed absolutely everyone. my father, his whore, my sisters. and it will happen again. "

“ so you wanted a wife, and now you want to kill me ? you’re crazy, rafe. ”

"because i wanted you to be, pumkin. it's not destiny, i planned everything. when you found out that i fucking killing people. you remember last summer and even those before? i had to have control over you, especially after all the blackmail you put me through, i wanted to play with you even more and you fell into the trap. and you were an easy prey because with your bad past, your family moved out, your friends all left you. was so fucking easy to have you because you needed someone so badly. you were so blind and desperate to have someone on your side that you believed that i could love, but above all, you thought and wanted to believe that it was possible that i loved you. i thought you were smarter than that, but that doesn't matter, because now you will die and it doesn't matter anymore.”

you had too many tears to count them, and even to see them flow. your throat was so tight you could barely breathe, feeling a deep knot stuffed on the inside.

you hated how everything was so clear now, rafe cameron’s sudden interest in you, the strange feeling inside you, this marriage proposal, the marriage. he had been so good, so perfect that you had never once been doubted by his acting.

rafe cameron lied as well as he killed. or you were too naive. as he wanted you to be too...

you swallowed the information with difficulty to accept the hard truth. your stomach was in knots, a furious urge to vomit but instead, your lower lip was trembling, your body was running through shivers because you still had that gun threatening you, the metal rubbed through your wild tears.

you weren’t even sure if rafe was the one responsible for this nightmare. you had your part of responsibility. you played with the fire, and you no longer knew how to put it out. you lost control.

“do you know how much i hate you?”

" oh no, that's not true. your heart is beating pumpkin, and it's not because you hate me, and even less because you're afraid. but because you love me. and it's going to kill you. “

“you’re wrong.”

you turned around to grab his gun. you managed to catch him by surprise. and he smiled. you faced his face full of blood, bleeding from his nose to his jaw. he wiped away a few trickles with the back of his sleeve.

“i’m the one who’s going to kill you.”

“don’t make me think you’re going to pull the trigger. or at least, look me in the eyes. don't you want to see me fall after all that fight ?”

“do you want to bet, rafe cameron? because in this case, we are going to bet on your life.”

“sweetheart.”

“oh no, don’t try to stop me.”

“i was going to tell you to aim carefully, because if you miss, you will be the only corpse of the two of us.”

“fuck you!”

“i would love to babe but you have a fucking gun pointed at my head. i have to be careful.”

"know that i loved you,rafe cameron. i tell you this because i want you to know that someone loved you, that you could have me with you for the rest of your life but you ruined everything.”

“what do you mean ?”

"that you could have had a better life, but rafe, let me tell you that you always liked being a loser. you don't want to change, and i won't try to fix you. not after all that bullshit. "

and you shot. one time. two time. the last in the heart.

you watched as blood spurted from his chest, as his body fell to the ground.

you sat astride him, his frame between your legs, your hands covered in blood around his face.

“ you're just a child and you know it. nothing in my heart is hoping you'll come back. ”

you grabbed him by the jaw and leaned down. his eyes weren't yet closed when you placed your lips on his to steal his last breath of life.

his lips were cold and covered in blood, kissing yours limply.

you sat next to him, placing your hand next to his, and he held it. but it was rafe cameron, you couldn't tell if it was love or hate.

your marriage was ruined, and everyone around you was dead. but at least you had survived. with as much blood on his hands as the camerons. but you were alive.

and that was the only thing that mattered....for now.

[judesmoonbeauty]

SurpriseBag2024: A Happy Switch-Up Between The Cunning Mobster & The Happiness-Obsessed Oddball

This is a repost. Due to the original being deleted by Tumblr, my tags list will not be included nor will CGs be uploaded per my previous announcement. This is a fan translation only, so please expect grammatical errors and lack of nuance. While I appreciate your support and welcome re-blogs, please do not repost my translations elsewhere. Thank you for you support! ☾.

I got involved in Roger's egoistical cursed research.

Ellis: Huh? Why is Jude me?

Jude: That's my line. Why’re ya me?

I was asked to watch over Jude and Ellis, who had switched places.

(As a fairytale keeper, I wanted to watch over them until the end.)

(......But I want to watch over them anymore.)

Jude: ………

(Jude in the form of Ellis is in an even worse mood than usual!)

Child Passing By: Mum, there’s a demon.

Mother Passing By: Hey. It’s dangerous so don’t go near him……

(Ellis' face is so handsome, but when he’s irritated, it's very powerful.)

(Ugh, I miss the usual gentle Ellis.)

Kate: Kate, this gelato I just bought is delicious.

Kate: Ah, yes. It has a rich flavor, yet it's not too sweet.

Jude: Lickin’ ’n lickin’ while workin’. Are ya dogs.

Ellis: Dogs don't eat gelato, right?

Jude: So, ya eat sweets in another’s body.

Jude takes a cigarette out of his pocket and puts it in his mouth with a natural gesture.

Kate: Oh, Jude, you can't smoke. That’s Ellis' body!

Kate: Besides, if you smoke it, you'll end up choking again.

Jude: ….Tch.

The reason we’re on the platform at Paddington Station, is because we’re on an important mission for Crown.

Actually, the two of them were planning to work at Jude's company as usual.

[Screen shows a pic of Jude in Ellis’ body.]

Jude: Yer in breach of the contract ya piece of shit…….I’ll show ya hell.

[Show a pic of in Ellis’ body.]

Ellis: Are you okay? Shall I make you happy?

(They stopped so that the people at the company who knew the two well wouldn't get confused.)

The two are now on Crown duty, while Victor and Harrison are at Jude's company posing as friends.

(I have to keep an eye on the two of them and keep up with my assignment!)

Kate: …..Still, the target doesn’t seem to have shown up.

Today's target is the capture and decimation of members of a corrupt business association who are committing theft in the country.

A man believed to be the main suspect was recently arrested by police but escaped from jail.

The Crown received word that he was planning to flee the country.

(The main culprit has a bad leg and limps. I have to make sure I don't miss him.)

Ellis: Kate, I'll give you my berry flavor, too. Okay, ahhh.

Kate: Ahhh.

Kate: Mmm….it’s delicious.

Ellis: Right? We don't know when the target will appear, so let’s just take it easy.

Kate: ……Thank you.

(…….When Jude treats me kindly, the gap is shocking.)

Jude: Oi, Ellis. Don’t do gross things with other people’s faces.

Jude: What’re ya up to?

Kate: I’m not up to anything.

Kate: It's just... it's refreshing and nice to be treated kindly……by you Jude.

Jude: Ha, don’t lie.

Jude’ lips in Ellis’ form twisted cruelly as I was grabbed by my chin.

Jude: Yer a masochistic pervert who needs to be tormented to get excited.

Kate: That, that’s not true……Please don’t treat me like a pervert!

Jude: Doubt that.

(I can never say I’m excited.)

While I was secretly excited, Ellis lifted himself off the bench.

Kate: Are you going somewhere, Ellis?

Ellis: I thought I'd get you something warm to drink.

Ellis: You must have gotten cold from eating gelato, Kate.

Ellis: Ah.

Jude: ……Didja see the target?

Ellis: No. When I stood up, I was just a little surprised that my gaze was lower than usual.

Ellis: Jude, you’re so short.

Jude: ….Ha?

Kate: ….He-hehee.

Jude: It's not that I'm short, it's just that yer a big guy.

Jude: Why’re ya laughin’, too? I'll knock yer head ‘round ‘n make ya shorter!

Kate: I’m sorry. It’s just sometimes you can learn something new when you change things up.

Jude: That’s damned useless information.

Ellis: I'm enjoying being Jude, though.

Jude: Shuddup.

Jude: Yer fluffy conversations are drivin’ me crazy.

At that moment, Jude’s gaze, which was clad in Ellis’ twilight color, were filled with sharpness.

Jude: ……..

Kate: Jude? No way….

Jude: There he is, that guy with the limp.

Jude: It'll be troublesome if he leaves the country. Follow him.

Kate: Ha, …..on it!

We board the train and pursue our target, weaving through the passengers.

Just as I stepped into the last row of the empty cargo area.

Main Culprit: Thanks for following along.........You guys, surround them.

As if on cue, several men jump out from the shadows of the seats and surround us.

(…….we’re surrounded.)

(I had no idea his friends were on board too.)

Jude: Yer very gracious to welcome us. Thanks.

Main Culprit: I knew the coppers were after us. I let you come, so I could get revenge.

(They think we’re the police.)

(Whatever it is, it means they were reading our moves.)

As we stare at each other, our feet shake and the train begins to move.

Main Culprit: We can throw your bodies out of the train and into the river, and there won't be a single piece of evidence left behind.

Main Culprit: It would be the perfect place to die. Go ahead, kill them.

Ellis: …..Kate, stay here so you don’t get hurt.

Kate: Yes….

Ellis tried to jump up as easily as usual, but wasn’t able to do so.

Ellis: Oh, whoa.

Ellis, who’s still in Jude’s form, lost his balance and fell on the spot.

Isla: Huh, Ellis….?

Ellis: Surprising. That’s right, I’m Jude.

(Oh, because his body is different than usual!)

Jude: What’re ya waitin’ for?

Jude:….Damn, what’re these uselessly long legs. They’re difficult......

Main Culprit: I thought you were an elite group, but you’re just a bunch of small fry.

Main Culprit: Take care of them kindly in “moderation”.

Ellis: ....... Hmmm, Jude has strong legs.

Ellis: I'm starting to get the hang of it.

Ellis: ……..Like this.

Ellis’ raised leg strikes into the jaw of the main culprit’s subordinates.

Subordinate: Gah……

(Wow, that's amazing...)

Kate: Oh, Jude, behind you!

Jude: I can see ‘em without ya tellin’ me.

Jude, using Ellis’ body, flew through the air and touched their heads one after another.

Subordinate: Whoa our hands are stuck together! They won’t separate. What is this……

All the men knelt on the spot in a prayer pose..

Jude: I can barely breathe in this body….I hate it.

Ellis: I wanted to use Jude's ability to put them to sleep.

Jude: Ya can't torture ‘em if they’re asleep.

Main Culprit: Hic…..

Jude: …..Let’s make a deal.

Jude: Right to left, James Spencer, Simon Harris, Oscar Perry.

Main Culprit: ……How did you know our names?

Ellis: The names of business partners, family members….he says it's basic to know everything.

Jude: Didntcha guys anonymously transfer the money ya stole to orphanages all over the UK?

(What…..?)

Jude: I did some research ‘n found out that ya ‘n all the other members of the vice society came from the same orphanage.

Jude: Yer all in on it, stealing money from the crooks ‘n usin’ it to give to poor children.

Main Culprit: ……yes.

(You mean he was committing evil and helping people?)

Jude: How admirable, tear jerkin’, think I’d overlook it.

Jude: —What can I say idiot. Yer tears ain’t an excuse.

Whatever the motive, evil is evil.

The fact that once you have been involved in evil, it will never go away.

Jude: I'll letcha choose. Either you’ll be sold abroad, or you’ll be forced to work in a coal mine until your last breath?

Jude: Do you wanna stay alive, be my slave ‘n work for the rest of yerr life?……..Whaddya choose?

Main Culprit: I thought you guys were the coppers……

Ellis: Is that relevant now? He’s asking if you want to die or live.

Main Culprit: ……

Main Culprit: Please just save my life. Please......!

Jude: The slave contract is complete. Congratulations on yer lifetime employment.

Jude: Remember, a promise is a promise…..If ya break it, I'll give ya hell, so much so, that you’d wish ya were dead.

We boarded the turnaround and made it back to Paddington Station without incident.

Kate: ……that was still surprising.

Kate: Jude you wanted them as part of your company's workforce from the start, and Ellis understood that.

Jude: What’s with those eyes? Ya act like I helped somebody.

Jude: I was forced to do a mission that wasn't planned, ‘n I got something out of it.

Ellis: I think it's okay as long as Jude and Kate are happy.

Kate: I….will work even harder as a fairytale keeper!

Jude: Fuwaha, that useless guts argument. That's all ya do.

Ellis: You’re a hard worker Kate, I like that.

(Oh, that’s.......?)

Ellis: What's wrong, Kate?

Kate: Um...even though you look different, for a moment both looked like you usually do.

Jude & Ellis: ……….

Kate: Jude is still Jude and Ellis is still Ellis, no matter what you both look like.

Kate: But ...…..I kind of want to see the two of you as usual.

Jude: I knew ya were a pervert who wanted to be tortured.

Kate: What, that’s not true!

Ellis: Shall I tease you? I've never done it before, but maybe I can?

Kate: ……Please stop teasing me Ellis.

Ellis: Hehe, sorry.

Jude: Let’s switch back quickly. It's about time that quack finished the medicine.

When we returned to the castle, Roger had successfully completed the antidote.

After drinking it, Jude and Ellis safely return to their normal forms and the matter settled.

Or, it should’ve been -

Kate: I am so glad you’re back to being whole!

Kate: Hey, Ellis. What's with the wine and book in your hand?

Ellis: Victor and Harry went to work for us. Thanks for that.

Ellis: So, I picked the wine, and Jude picked the book.

Jude: It’s just a matter of amassin’ debt.

Kate: Hehe, that's right. Because “nothing is more expensive than free”.

Jude: What's with that grin on your face? It’s stupid.

Ellis: Should l I call Victor and Harry?

Victor: That’s not necessary, for Victor has come even before he was called!

Kate: Harrison……?

Kate:  .......What's going on? You sound like Victor.

Jude: Have ya finally gone nuts after bein’ smeared in all those filthy lies.

Ellis: Harry is kind, so I wonder if he forced himself...

Victor: ?? What are you talking about?

Victor: No matter how you look at it, it's your dearly loved Queen's aide Victor, isn't it?

Ellis: …….Harry.

Jude: Imitatin’ someone you hate is unpleasant, condolences.

Kate: Very......, -you need to get yourself to the hospital as soon as possible!

Harrison: ……I finally found you.

Kate: …..Victor?

Victor grabbed Harrison's chest with a look of anger on his face that he had never seen before.

Kate & Ellis: !

Victor: Oh.….I'm right in front of me. Why?

Harrison: ……Haven’t you noticed? Look at your reflection in the window.

Victor: Wow, I became you Harrison?

Victor: C-CUUUTE~~! Your hair is so smooth! And the tear mole is cute! 😭 LMFAO

Harrison: Don't touch my body!

Kate: Um, wait a minute.

(Harrison is Victor and Victor is Harrison.)

Kate: Does that mean ...…..the two of you swapped places!

Harrison: Aaah.

Harrison: Victor .……You're the one who got us into this mess, aren't you?

Victor: It wasn’t me! If I were the culprit, I'd probably notice the switch right away, right?

Harrison: …..That’s right.

Ellis: Oh.…on there’s needle marks on Victor’s and Harry’s arms.

Harrison: Someone drugged us with a syringe while we slept.

Victor: Judging from the brilliant puncture work, I'd say there's only one suspect.

Harrison: Roger! That egoistical bastard.….He used us as test subjects for an experiment, didn’t he?

Victor: Wow, Roger’s so passionate about research.

Victor: Ah, Kate. Would you mind telling me a little lie?

Kate: What? Well, I hate you Victor.

Victor: Yes, it's a lie! Wow, I can see them like this, that's amazing.

Harrison: Don't get excited, old man!

Ellis: ...Hehe, it looks like fun.

Ellis: Hey, Jude. Shall we switch places again?

Jude: Ain’t happenin’, I’ll never do that again.

…..To be continued?

[Master List]

If you'd like to be added to my translations tags list for current event translations, please comment or DM me.

[happyely3]

Pairing: [Ryomen Sukuna x Fem!Reader]

Genre/summury: |slice of life|- |Smut| - |fluff| -|Cuddle| - You’ve had a hard day and what you need is to pull the plug completely. Sukuna knows exactly what to do.

Word Count:

Warnings: |18+|smut|Consensual sex| Sukuna brings you to exhaustion| |All characters are of age. This story is +18| Minors don't interact|

You still couldn’t believe that you were finally back in the two-room apartment you had been sharing with Sukuna for almost three months. Yet you finally arrived, you had closed the door behind you and you threw your backpack and all your art material in the corner of the entrance, you took off your shoes and socks, You threw them into the dirty laundry basket and headed quickly to the kitchen to get something to eat. You opened the fridge and you took a dip in the cold cuts you had opened the night before, grabbing a piadina and composing it quickly, then you took the pan from the shelf above you put everything on the fire to heat that meal quickly. The hunger that had caught you was sudden and the cramps in your stomach were even more painful. "Don’t you say hello anymore?" Sukuna’s voice was a step away from you, her big hands appeared to embrace you from behind your back and her lips settled on your neck in a quick kiss that had left your skin burned at that point. You sighed at that touch, but withheld a groan. "Excuse me, Kuna, but I swear I’m starving." You answered by leaning against his broad chest and turning to kiss him on the cheek, corresponding to the tattoo that marked his jaw. Sukuna laughed slowly turning your piadina to prevent it from burning: "Was it a hard day?" He asked you then as he leaned on your back and inhaled your perfume, as if only your smell could calm him. He loved how the essence that he had given you a long time ago perfectly married to you.

"You can’t imagine. I arrived early to class and fortunately or otherwise I would have had to follow the lesson on the steps, we were too many and in addition the teacher arrived late and to complete the whole lesson made us lose half an hour lunch. The next lesson started soon after and so to not lose my seat I skipped lunch. Then the coffee machine literally left us in thirteen, abandoned us during the history of ancient art lessons! You know what a tragedy this is!" You said, sulking and making your boyfriend laugh. Sukuna has tightened himself to you and you have removed the piadina from the fire. "Then I had a review of a project, and the professor was going to take my world apart. I wanted to kill her!" You concluded by telling how your project had undergone a drastic change and that this would disrupt your exam plans and your timetable. Sukuna left you a kiss on the shoulder, reassuring you that you would still be able to get all your exams on time and if you needed help you could ask him. "You? What day did you have?" You asked while enjoying your snack, lunch, dinner. You didn’t have the strength to cook anything else and would have convinced Sukuna to get something to go. Maybe a good sushi.

"I’ve been in the lab all day, fighting with my colleagues." Sukuna replied by showing you the design of the machine for the exhibition of his mechanical engineering faculty: "Testosterone to never end." He added, making you laugh and imagine the scene in question, among all the colleagues of Sukuna there was a strange competition to be the alpha male: "Also my colleges envy us and they made me understand it in every way possible and imaginable. They still can’t figure out how I have a girlfriend." He added Sukuna by pinching your side slightly to have a bite of the piadina. "Am I in withdrawal?" You laughed by offering him that quick meal and then finishing it quickly to turn towards your boyfriend and hug him. You felt Sukuna’s hands clenching your hips and then coming down on your thighs to lift you up onto the kitchen countertop. "Kunaa!" You moaned as you tied your neck to her and Sukuna laughed hard and kissed your neck, then your jaw and finally your lips in a slow kiss full of passion that left you with an electric shock along the spine. "Please tell me you don’t have any crazy plans or studies for this evening as a program." Sukuna had detached himself from you and you protested against it. His crimson eyes were chained to yours, and your cheeks were red. You were about to answer him when his phone started ringing insistently. Sukuna grunted, hated to be interrupted on important matters. "Fuck you what?" You heard the voices of Sukuna’s colleagues on the phone telling him they had to spend a night finishing the project.

"The deadline is next week, next Friday." He had answered without too many words and raising an eyebrow. You loved it when your man took that expression angry, that expression of test to say only another bullshit and I make you swallow. You bit your lip thinking of that scene. Underneath you wanted to see him lose control and bring out that violent side he reserved only for the people he hated. "I have a life outside of you assholes." He said, emphasizing the last words with a look directed to you, too eloquent and you smiled caressing his forearm with nails at the height of tattoos. Another couple of uncute jokes and Sukuna had cut the call, putting the phone in his pants pocket. You looked at each other for a long moment and then burst into laughter when the ring of both of them was sounded again, simultaneously with your home phone. "Motherfuckers I kill." He said Sukuna, closing the phone and taking off the home phone. You took your phone and looked at the number of one of his colleagues, you looked at each other and answered the call. "Hi, Sukuna is with me, we are busy at the moment." You answered by continuing to stare at your boyfriend and enjoying the smile that was forming on his lips. Sukuna loved it when you played the flirtatious and sweet girlfriend in front of her colleagues, she could feel their frustration at that very moment when your voice became more seductive and sexy when you said her name. How much they could be at that moment.

"No, the deadline is Friday, you have also put the image as profile whatsapp of the group." You insisted with a fluffy voice, Sukuna came to bite you in the neck and you let slip a sigh that could not be misconstrued. "Sorry but we have to go and discuss." You said finally closing the call and pulling slightly Sukuna’s hair. "What else did they want?" asked Sukuna taking both your phones and putting them in airplane mode. "Nothing important, they said they wanted to kill you because you couldn’t give them up for the project for me." You answered by kissing the tip of his nose and grinning: "They also added things that are not very nice and very disgraceful." And the look of Sukuna filled with pleasure. "Fuck you, you’re my priority, baby doll." Sukuna picked you up and you held him like a koala, kissed you more than before and you scratched his neck muscles to make sure you weren’t overwhelmed, but it was a fight that you knew you couldn’t win. You have made your way without wasting time into your bedroom. The windows were down and the only lamp on was the one that recreated the sunset light, the one you had insisted on since you saw it in an Instagram video. Sukuna didn’t waste any time, she kicked the door shut and put you on the bed, you closed your eyes enjoying the feeling of clean sheets on your skin and opened them again when you heard the notes of the playlist that you and Sukuna had created for home.

You smiled for that moment. It was just you, the rest of the world didn’t exist. Sukuna was at the foot of the mattress and looked at you with his naked eyes. His shirt lay at the foot of the bed and the soft orange light highlighted his muscles and tattoos, you watched carefully the ink segments descend down her abdomen to the V of the groin and you licked your lips while with your fingers slowly caressing your boyfriend’s sculpted abs. You got up and knelt on the edge of your bed while Sukuna unlaced the buttons of your overalls and slowly started to strip you, you bent your back to help him get undressed and in the meantime you unlaced his pants belt. When your clothes are all over you have come even closer to Sukuna and keeping the gaze fixed on him you had dropped the zip of his jeans taking it with your mouth. You had, then, left a quick kiss on the bulge of his black boxer making him sigh and laugh with that smile that made you so crazy and shivering between your legs. "What a diligent girl we have here." she said, caressing your cheek and playing with your softness. You leaned on his hand groping and closed your eyes sighing: "I have a boy who devotes a lot of attention to me, it is right that I be diligent with him." You were left with only the white sweater and matching lace panties, hair strewn on the mattress and Sukuna above you, you could feel the warmth of her skin and its intoxicating scent flooding your nostrils, you squeezed it to yourself to continue enjoying that heat. His gaze set you on fire and his touch amplified all your senses.

You kissed with a new fire, seeking your tongues and fighting until the last breath before detaching again and looking hard. In those moments you loved even more the eye tattoos that your boyfriend had made on his cheekbones. Four eyes that only looked at you. Four red eyes that hypnotised you more and more and warmed your core in a way you couldn’t explain. "No bra on?" Sukuna asked, lifting up the crop top you wore that day in a rush to run to university and letting your breasts bounce free and not forced into that cramped garment, out of the room air. "With this shirt I risk not breathing as tight… Kunaaa…" You sighed when her rough hands leaned over your breast and began massaging it, slowly and in circular motions. You felt spoiled for those attentions. You were very large and often the bras you wore hurt, crushed your breasts and left deep marks on your skin. Quite a few times Sukuna had taken you by the shoulders and with the appropriate creams he had massaged your breasts to give you some comfort. "What a brat." said the man while lightly blowing on his nipples making them harden even more and sighing you. You instinctively spread your legs to feel his presence better, but his boxers and your panties did not help. You felt that bulge and wanted it inside you to forget all the stressful day you had.

A day you would have gladly replaced with one in which Sukuna was inside of you, filling you up completely. You scratched Sukuna’s shoulders when his mouth settled on your nipple starting to suck it while the other hand took to play with the other, and then you were the brat. Sukuna was like a hungry child at that time. The background music was so intense that you were stunned by all that attention, because every song you had chosen was perfect for sex and you both knew it. You tried to move but your boyfriend stopped you, with his left arm and went down to your core to start stimulating it from the outside, doing a simple movement over the panties. Up and down, middle and forefinger moved slowly pressing a little more when they were close to your clitoris and making you sigh loudly while Sukuna’s mouth was busy sucking hard on your martoriated nipple. You scratched his neck when you felt his fingers apply more pressure on your opening just to tease it a little bit and you bent your back a little bit more until the sudden orgasm hit you as Sukuna touched your clit again. You screamed loudly, arching your back and poking your feet on the mattress, quickly being invaded by that euphoric sensation typical of orgasm, you felt your body light and tense at the same time and then collapse on the mattress. The arms of Sukuna held you and now they lulled you. "I didn’t think you were so involved, brat." Sukuna broke off your nipple leaving only a trickle of saliva as the only link. You sighed again when his two big fingers moved on the soaked cloth and you struggled to keep your eyes open.

"I had a heavy day Sukuna…" You replied by taking his face in your hands and then kissing him on the Adam’s apple. Sukuna has embraced you, wrapping her free arm around your hips and enjoying the flickering of your body against hers, savoring every inch of your two curves and your toned physique in contact with hers. He missed you during the heavy day that he had had during group work and the only thing he could think of was to come home, pick you up and make love with you all night and the next morning, excluding the world around. "Let’s make this day better." He sighed near your ear and made you string like a violin string. You bit your lip as you slightly moved away from Sukuna and with your hands you went down his tense muscles, massaging them with your fingertips to then go down to his boxers. You kissed the muscles of his groin and with a calm that you didn’t know you had, you slowly took off his last clothes letting out his cock. It was hard, harder than marble and with veins in evidence and great. He needed care and attention you thought as you licked your lips and laid a light kiss on the dark chapel. "You’re playing dirty…" Sukuna had lifted your hair and held it in his grip. You smiled at that joke and kept on leaving wet kisses all along its length, focusing more on some points and biting the most sensitive ones just to hear your boyfriend’s moaning. Sukuna’s grip had become stronger on your hair as the free hand began to caress your back.

"What a good little bratt…" You felt as if Sukuna was tense and holding on to make the pleasure even longer and unload away the tension that had settled on both your bodies in that stressful day. You were sweaty and both warmed up and soon your condition would get worse. You took it all in one shot, risking to hurt yourself and but you were rewarded by the moan of pure pleasure that came out of your boyfriend’s mouth when you slammed his groin on the tip of your nose. You breathed its strong smell and with tears in your eyes you started moving at an average fast pace as you felt the muscles of Sukuna stiffening and the grip of your boyfriend becoming even stronger. Sukuna looked down at you, he watched his girlfriend crouching on the bed trying to give him pleasure and had not resisted any longer. He had blocked you and then lifted you slightly protesting that you were having fun and he laughed softly before kissing you again and taking you under him. You ended up on the opposite side of the bed and screamed when Sukuna quickly took off your panties and threw them across the room and then started licking your pussy greedily.

"So wet just for me…" And you cried out with pleasure when the tongue of Sukuna crept into you, softening your inner walls. "Ryo…" You whimpered as you felt the grip of his hands getting stronger on your thighs, leaving you with red marks. Sukuna didn’t leave you time to recover, he wanted to make a mess even more inviting, he wanted to eat you and drink every single drop of you. One of his hands has been clenching around one of your nipples while the other kept firmly clutching your thigh. Sukuna’s eyes were focused on your pussy along with her tongue, but the tattooed eyes were fixed on you. You knew they were fake, but it was as if Sukuna knew exactly what to do because he had that look on you and you couldn’t resist any longer when you felt two of his fingers creep inside you while his tongue continued to give you pleasure. You came abundantly on her mouth as Sukuna drank you avidly and continued to curl her fingers inside of you to give you even more pleasure and to look for that point that made you crazy. You tried to stop him, ask for a truce by pulling his pink hair but your boyfriend had not moved, he was enjoying the best meal that could happen. "Ryomen… Ryo… Ryo…" You called his name when his fingers met the point he was looking for, the one that made you jump forward and almost jump on the spot when Sukuna hit him several times in a row and at that moment you saw the stars.

The orgasm that took you made you tremble all, the scream of pleasure stuck in your throat and tears came down your cheeks for that stimulation so strong, into your soul deeper and fell on the mattress, Gasping and trying to inhale as much oxygen as possible to try to recover. Sukuna was still close to your core, eyes full of lust and satisfaction, with a note of malice that made you inspire even more deeply. You have pulled Sukuna towards you, in an even more fiery kiss and felt your taste on her lips, on her tongue. You have changed position, in the middle of the bed, you under him and Sukuna who overlaid you with all his beautiful and perfect carved head. And then you felt it enter inside of you, despite the long preparation you had to take it all. You held him tight and Sukuna lifted you slightly, harpooning your butt, to enter with ease. Centimeter by centimeter has entered inside you and for a moment you felt like you were going to faint because of the pleasure that you felt inside you. "Ryo…" you sighed, scratching his shoulders and biting his ear lobe. You heard him tremble and sighing in the hollow of your neck and then bite it hard and make you scream with pleasure as he started pumping his length inside you. You pointed your feet and moved your pelvis to try to respond to his movements, but your legs were soft and every time Sukuna sank inside of you it hit that damned point that made you go into ecstasy.

Sukuna bit his lip to keep his focus and you bit his neck to distract him and then kissed each other moaning in the other’s mouth. You kept on in that pose for a while until you felt a hankering getting closer and closer and you got close to Sukuna so as not to lose your balance. Sukuna kissed you praising your body as it kept moving inside of you, riding your orgasm slowly, savoring the feeling of your walls holding it so tight. You changed positions while you exchanged another kiss, now you were above him and dictated the rhythm to yourself, still feeling the thrill of the previous moment descend down your spine. You put your hands on his pecs and touched his nipples quickly, while Sukuna approached yours to suck both of them, his hands were resting at the base of your back and holding you so close to him that it created a tight rhythm, Fast and needy and muffled every time your crotch met and joined together. Your breath was irregular, and you closed your eyes many times to try to resist and not faint. It was so hard and tense that you still wondered how you had managed to take it so well and how he could still resist, you had seen his pre-season liquid by the way and it was so abundant that you waited anxiously for the moment when it would pour out inside you.

You have swung in bed once again, ruining the blankets and dropping the pillows. You were on your stomach and Sukuna was penetrating behind you, holding your arms steady behind your back with one of his hands, while the other had harpooned your buttocks to find a firm grip as it pushed into you. You felt your walls tighten tighter and tighter every time her cock came in and out of you, and Sukuna knew how to tease you by staying out for a few seconds before coming back in harder and starting to constantly hit your center. "Ryo… inside…" You said feeling the limit getting closer and closer, you were close to the fourth orgasm of that night and Sukuna’s movements had become increasingly confused and ferocious. "How you want, little bratt… ah…" Sukuna has stooped down upon you, using his hand to harpoon your side and not to depart from you. Your shadows on the wall evoked the image of two animals that were mating and it was that common thought that gave you the coup de grace. You felt Sukuna explode inside of you, pouring out copiously and pushing deeper while you kept following its rhythm and crying as hard as you came.

You felt Sukuna explode inside of you, pouring copiously and pushing deeper while you kept following its rhythm and crying as hard as you came. You squatted on the mattress, your breaths were tight but neither of you wanted to detach from the other. "You want to do another lap, you little brat." The roaring voice of Sukuna had made you partly recover, you still felt it hard inside you, despite he kept coming and pouring his semen into your womb. Your eyes were full of tears, your body was aching with pleasure, but you nodded and felt the grip on your hands become less strong. Sukuna was towering over you, his hands were holding your hips and his pelvis dictating a rhythm. "Ryo… please… do… do…" You tried to say something but the bite that came on your neck made you moan loudly, your voice outweighed the notes of the speakers as much as that gesture was unexpected. You felt his fangs sink into your flesh and his thrusts become stronger. You have tightened the blankets to try to resist all that sudden pleasure and felt it again coming inside you, even stronger than before. "What’s he doing, baby?" she asked you while licking the mark of her teeth while with well-placed lunges she kept stimulating your pussy. "It’s good…" You answered by turning to kiss him. "And then it will make you feel even better." Her hand had descended into your intimacy, rubbing against your clitoris and beginning to stimulate it again. You were too sensitive and your orgasm was so strong that you saw the stars at that moment. And you hadn’t finished yet.

"I can’t feel my legs Kuna." You said as you tried to get up, but you gave up right after. Your legs seemed to be made of jelly and your sex was pulsating painfully. Sukuna was beside you and stroked your back, smiling at those words. "I did a good job." Your boyfriend said, leaving you with a kiss on the shoulder and grinning. But he couldn’t get up in that moment, still buried inside you, he would never leave that place for any reason. "Mmmhh…" You tried to say something, but the tiredness was getting felt. "Yeah, let’s order some sushi and watch it on TV." Sukuna answered by caressing your back and reluctantly leaving to take the phone and order to go. "You’re the best." You said by kissing his hand and standing up slowly in turn to go to the bathroom next to your room and preparing the necessary for a shower. You’ve been stuck to the many notifications of missed messages and calls to burst out laughing. Sukuna took you for life and brought you back to bed, kissing you until you lost control again. You then heard the phone snap and turned your eyes to the camera, in the photo that captured you hugging each other in that obscene kiss. You couldn’t see any part of your body, you could just see something that left room for imagination. "What are you doing?" you asked, playing with his lip and sucking it slowly. "I send her to my study group to make them keep quiet." Your boyfriend said kissing you again. "You should send one more obscene." You answered by making him laugh and curl up over you.

"I infected you." He said whispering those words in your ear. "Maybe yes…" You answered looking straight into his eyes and smiling back, a smile full of all that you felt for him. "Honey?" Sukuna never used those affectionate names with you, he always used something that taunted you. "Yes Kuna?" You answered by taking his face in your hands and staring into his eyes. "I love you." He never said those words to you before and your heart filled with happiness. "I love you too." You replied kissing him with a flurry and holding yourself tight to him.

[elssero]

under your influence

k.nanami

♰ sfw, drunk!nanami x fem!reader, drunken confessions, whipped nanami.

being parked outside a dingy bar in the middle of the night was not an activity you had planned to take part in tonight. the bar itself is dimly lit and in the low lighting the edges of each building seem to blur, almost forgotten. there feels an uneasy stillness to the scene, interupted only by the occasional shout or distant screech of tires.

darkness envelops the road as you drive through the black of the night, blinding headlights pierce through the dark, casting rays of light that reveal only a small portion of the road ahead. the streetlight beside you flickers irregularly, creating a dance of light and shadow.

upon seeing your friends emerge from the bar, silhouettes slouched and movements staggering you open your car window. The air is thick with the smell of cigarette smoke, it mingles with the scent of your air freshener and the faint smell of alcohol seemingly clinging to the surroundings.

"yn- hi- were so so sorry to call you out tonight-" gojo's body is unsteady as he speaks to you, his hand gripping the side of your car to keep himself upright. watching him sway- you begin to think you should be taking him home too.

"he just- he wont shut up about you- said he would only go home if you picked him up." his speech comes out disjointed- lingering too long on certain words.

hearing your passenger seat door open it averts your attention away from the white haired man poking through your window- watching as a man you don't quite recognise helps a drunk nanami into the seat next to you.

"i- i know you were busy tonight- m'- we're very sorry." he leans in too close when he says it- breathe thick with alcohol.

"it's okay- just be safe tonight 'kay? call me if you need anything." gojo nods as if he understands but the glaze and distraction in his eyes indicate he's not fully grasping what's being said. at least you tried.

after watching him stumble his way back through the bar door you start your engine- the noise of the grit seems to alert the man next to you.

"y-yn? are you here to take me home?" he hiccups as he stutters through his question, cheeks flushed from the alcohol.

"yes nanami. I'm taking you home." it's cute the way a smile forms on his face- the way his cheeks seem to turn an even darker shade of pink.

"¡ missed you-" it's silly- you only saw him a couple of hours ago when he and gojo left for the bar after a extremely long week at work. there's a rawness to the way he's acting- the sudden affection not going unnoticed.

"why-why didn't you come out tonight?" the quick change in his voice is evident- a tone of frustration escaping.

"¡ was busy- im sorry." he turns away from you, pouting like a child before he continues "i just- i wanted you there."

your heart skips a beat- "i know- im sorry." shaking your head- reminding yourself that nanami is a coworker. it couldn't be anything more than that, even if you both wanted it to be.

"i wanted you there- so- so that we could do this." he moved his hands around in an attempt to explain himself- gesturing too broadly as if his movements are struggling to keep up with his thoughts. "hm? do what?"

"so we could talk." the weight of his words feel heavy-"we talk all the time?" your not yet strong enough to lift them.

"no- no i mean so i could talk to you- so i could tell you-" he cuts himself off this time becoming overly serious as his emotions swing from one extreme to another in his drunken state.

"tell me what?" the world feels quieter now, with fewer cars on the road it almost feels peaceful. the hum of your engine more pronounced as it fills the silent space.

"tell you- that i like you- alot i think." his voice wavers- heavy with emotion and vulnerability matching the inner turmoil he's been holding back.

"i enjoy spending time with you over anyone else-and i miss you when your not around- which never happens." he pauses for a second, catching his breath.

"i feel a constant need to be with you- all the time it's- it's so overwhelming." there's a noticeable tension in the air- a mixture of nervousness and relief as he lays bare something so deeply personal.

"it's like- it's like whenever i'm near you- i can't think straight- but all i wish to be by your side-" his eyes avoid yours- glancing down at the floor- as if the weight of his confession is too much to bare.

you take a deep breath before replying to him-unsure of your ability to keep your voice steady,

"are you sure?" it feels childish- stupid- to doubt his affections, doubt his feelings for you.

"i've never been more sure of anything in my entire life." each word he says is deliberate- said firmly and you find yourself unable to doubt him.

"i'll take you home- we can talk about this in the morning." your voice drops to a whisper- his confession still raw in your mind, wishing only to avoid any misunderstanding.

"we can? you'll be here in the morning?" the hope in his voice is evident- you can't fight the soft smile that forms on your face, the small blush on your cheeks.

"yes nanami-i'll be here in the morning" your words become more gentle- spoken with care as you stop the car, finding yourself outside of his home.

"promise?" his hands made no effort to move to open the door- his eyes seem more focused, filled with tenderness and admiration as his lock with yours- almost taking your breath away.

"i promise.'

[3motionally3xhausted]

Redesigning the Fentons!!

Hi yes this is for yet another Danny Phantom AU of mine it has nothing to do with the Apprenticeship AUs but unlike that batch I actually wanna turn this AU into a fic eventually once I get through a few other big projects I have *sobs*

Anyway individual files for each character under the cut along with my obligatory rambling about all the choices I made ;)

Jazz! Honestly, when I was a kid, I always thought she was 18 not 16 so it was kind of a shock when I started rewatching the show about a yr ago and heard that. Anyway, she's 17 in this AU but already moved out to college on a scholarship bc living in FentonWorks is kind of hell and she has that Older Sibling Guilt for leaving Danny there. For her clothes, I wanted it to be a mix of tactical and preppy.

Danny! (Fenton) The effects of FentonWorks hell is much more visible on Danny than Jazz because she got out of there as soon as she could. Because of that though, a lot of the chores in the lab got pushed onto Danny, without passing on many safety tips, like replacing the ecto-filtrator, cleaning contaminated tools, organizing ecto-weapons, etc. And because he doesn't know any better when it comes to safety, he has many symptoms of radiation poisoning: visually, this comes through in the discoloration/scarring on his skin (Jazz has some slight scarring on her face and hands as well), the cataract on his left eye, as well as burst blood vessels in that eye. For his clothes, I wanted them to look a bit ragged and worn through ripped seams, tears in the jeans, & duct tape around his shoe.

Danny! (Phantom) I don't actually have a lot to SAY about my choics, but I am really happy with it. There are still a few things. I wanted his hair as Fenton & Phantom to be different but still reminiscent of the simplistic rendering of the original show: Fenton is kind of timid so his hair falls over his face, & Phantom is more active/aggressive so his hair is pushed upward. The only other thing I want to comment on is his skin: it's kind of about how I usually stylize Phantom (and I mentioned this when I redesigned Dani a while back) but a "healthy" Phantom in my style would have more bright cyan skin and an unhealthy Phantom has a more dull/zombie green. And lastly, as a ghost, the radiation poisoning kind of cleans up into more neat scarring rather than the muddy/bleeding look as Fenton.

Maddie! Now, I'm gonna be honest, real vulnerable here,... I hate Maddie's canon haircut. It's ugly, I'm not sorry. But I can modify it, so it's fine: now it's curlier, a bit darker, and has a few grey streaks bc she's a genius and constantly pulling long working hours. And, it didn't come across as much as I wanted, but she's got some biceps, strong lady. Now, I'm not really sure why, but I wanted to shift the color of her and Jack's jumpsuit, making hers much more desaturated.

Jack! Big guy. I don't have many thoughts about him either, but I did give him glasses and some stubble for a little bit more dad energy (?) I mainly changed the color of his jumpsuit bc Orange is an extremely hard color for me to render for some reason, so now it's the classic Hazard Yellow. Finally, the most notable difference is the coat I put on him for a bit more scientist energy but my main reasoning for it is the potential visual of him being an absolute tank jumping from overhead with the ghost gauntlets and his coat flapping behind him. Also, I generally like the idea of him presenting himself as a big, dumb teddy-bear, always smiling, but completely unhinged below that facade: dropping the smile or not while towering over you in shadow. Wild imagery.

FINAL THOUGHTS: Do not count on any actual steps towards creating this fic in the near future, it's just on my mind right now, but I NEED to finish my other projects first 🙏🙏🙏 That said, I will (eventually) get around to a handful more character redesigns for this AU including: Vlad, Sam, Tucker, Valerie, Paulina, and maybe Lancer & Dash

[hikaaa-bi]

i think people pick sides too much rather than realizing that all of the characters in Gravity Falls were equally flawed. i've noticed it with Mabel and Dipper, and more recently, i've noticed it with Stan and Ford.

it's okay if you sympathize with Stan but some people act like he never did anything wrong and Ford was just being an asshole to him for no reason.

Stan broke Ford's science exhibit. he didn't mean to do it, but he did. and he didn't attempt to fix it nor did he come clean about it until Ford already lost his chance with uni and confronted Stan about it. then Stan spouted some "silver lining, now you can travel the world with me" BS.

i'm sorry to say it but this was a shitty thing to do. it's completely understandable why Ford was upset with Stan, and i'm tired of people acting like it isn't. of course, Stan didn't deserve to get kicked out of his home for this, but he deserved to face some consequences.

Ford had no obligation to forgive Stan and i honestly don't blame him for keeping a grudge. he lost a HUGE opportunity because of Stan. and furthermore, he also gets sucked into the portal because of Stan. again, yes, an accident. but an accident that left him stranded in a dangerous terrain for YEARS.

and don't get me wrong, i'm not saying that Stan is some irredeemable monster or anything. he worked hard to undo his wrongs and bring back Ford, and he deserves to be commended for that. but this only works if you acknowledge that he was a flawed character in the first place.

the whole point of Stan's and Ford's conflict was that BOTH of them were in the wrong. especially during the finale.

it's fine for Stan to want Ford to be grateful for what he did. BUT. he did NOT have to start bitching about it right when they were about to defeat Bill. it could have waited until after everyone was safe.

and Ford certainly did not have to start the whole "grammar Stanley" thing and act like he was above saying a simple thank you.

also, you have to understand that while it's sweet that Stan wanted to sail the world with Ford, it was also an example of their relationship being codependent. Stan was made to believe that he wasn't as worthy as Ford and he saw himself as useless and dumb, so he clings onto Ford for a sense of identity.

in Stan's mind, he was just part of a whole, and this was an extremely unhealthy mindset to have. of course it was because of their father's emotional abuse, but it was something Stan needed to change.

Ford had his own dreams, and Stan's dependence on him started to feel suffocating. i would say they both needed time away from each other, especially Stan.

at the end of the day, this conflict was mutual and y'all are erasing its complexity by acting like Stan was completely innocent and played no part in their falling out, and like Ford was some terrible monster who deserved everything that happened to him.