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importantpuppystarfish · 3 days ago

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Repopulating the whole world with Wonyoung

Male reader x Jang Wonyoung

Plot : You are from a random country "X". World War 3 is ongoing. Genre : Survival, Romantic, Emotional. Includes: 69, rimjob, facesitting, wony pissing, breeding, lots of kissing.

I drag myself onto the rocky shore, my body aching from the endless swimming. My clothes are soaked, my breaths ragged, and my arms feel like they could fall off any second. But I made it.

The world is in ruins. World War III tore everything apart. Cities burned, people scattered, and survival became a desperate gamble. I don’t know how long I was in the water, moving from boat to boat, trying to stay afloat. But somehow, I reached this island near the Korean Peninsula.

I push myself up, coughing out of the salt water, and scan out my surroundings. The island is covered in dense trees, the sand untouched, the wind eerily silent. No signs of life.

Except for one.

A girl stands near the water’s edge, her long, damp hair flowing in the wind. She’s wearing a torn white dress, clinging to her body from the seawater. Even in this chaos, she looks unreallike -- gorgeous.

I blink. My brain struggles to process what I’m seeing.

It’s Jang Wonyoung!

The Wonyoung. The famous K-pop idol. The girl that once stood on dazzling stages, worshipped by millions. And now, she’s here, stranded just like me. Wonyoung also came to the same island through swimming to save herself from the war.

She notices me. Her eyes widen, and she steps back slightly, uncertain. I must look like a wreck, an exhausted or an average looking guy.

I raise my hands slightly, trying to show I’m not a threat. “Hey… I’m not here to hurt you.” My voice is hoarse.

She hesitates, then speaks, her voice soft yet sharp. “Are you alone?”

I nod. “Yeah… just me.”

A pause. The wind howls between us. Then she exhales and sits down on the sand. “Same.”

I look around again. No ships, no planes, no humans. Just us.

Two strangers. A famous lost idol and me.

Alone in the middle of nowhere. Wonyoung asks for my name~ "I'm Y/N!" Nice to meet u! We have a handshake.. Her hands feel soft.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Pt1:

I take a cautious step closer. “How long have you been here?”

“I don’t know. A few hours, maybe. I was on a boat, trying to escape… then everything went wrong.” Wonyoung replies.

I nod. I get it. The war didn’t care who we were, celebrity or nobody, we all ended up fighting for survival.

I sat onto the sand beside her, keeping a respectful distance. My body still aches from the swim, but at least I’m alive. “We should find shelter,” I say, more to myself than her.

Wonyoung doesn’t answer right away. She’s staring at the ocean, her expression unreadable. Finally, she nods. “Yeah.”

We explore the island together. It’s small, covered in thick trees, with no sign of civilization. No food, no supplies. If we want to live, we’ll have to find a way ourselves.

We build a shelter from fallen branches near a rocky cliffside, something to protect us from the wind. It’s not much, but it’ll do for now.

I know Wonyoung is feeling hungry, I can hear the sounds from her stomach. She's embarrassed. I hunt for fruits around in the forest and give some off to her. Wonyoung smiles and thanks me for the first time.

As night arrives, we sleep inside the shelter with a distinct position from each other. I can't believe I'm sleeping nearby a famous K-pop idol!

Wonyoung must be a very clean and neat girl. As morning arrives, with no proper shelter, no soap, and no change of clothes, Wonyoung specifically start to feel disgusting. We both only got one outfit for ourselves and its also getting torn apart.

Wonyoung tugs at her damp, dirt-streaked dress, grimacing. “I can’t take this anymore. I feel gross.”

I look down at myself. My clothes are stiff with dried saltwater and sweat. “Yeah, me too.”

She crosses her arms, thinking. “We need to wash them.”

I nod, then realize the problem. “But… if we wash them, we’ll have nothing to wear.”

She sighs. “I know.”

We stand there in awkward silence, both aware of what that means.

“…Maybe we take turns?” I suggest hesitantly.

She gives me a sharp look. “You mean one of us stays naked while the other waits?”

I scratch my head. “I mean… yeah?”

She groans, burying her face in her hands. “This is so embarrassing.”

I shrug. “We don’t have a choice. It’s just us here.”

She peeks at me through her fingers. “Still!”

After a long pause, she exhales sharply. “Fine!" “This is so worse!” she mutters.

I chuckle. “At least we’ll be clean.”

She grumbles but doesn’t argue.

And so, in our strange little world, even washing clothes becomes a ridiculous challenge. But somehow, we manage—awkward, embarrassed, but surviving together.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

But suddenly, it seems Wonyoung has realized survival takes priority over everything else. Embarrassment, modesty—those things start to feel pointless.

To my surprise, Wonyoung just… pulls her dress over her head.

I freeze. My brain short-circuits as the gorgeous Wonyoung directly takes off her clothes near me, her medium sized breasts with pretty pink nipples, a luscious curvy figure that takes my breath away. Her natural scent is divine yet there's a hint of dirt clinging to her perfect skin. Now as soon as she also takes off her smelly and dirty underwear the same time, I see her pussy is hairy, maybe she doesn't shave it often. I keep looking in at her hungrily, finding every aspect of Wonyoung naked incredibly sexy.

She throws her dress and underwear onto a sea, standing now in nothing but her bare skin, completely unbothered. “You should do the same,” she says casually. “It’s just us, anyway.”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I swallow hard, staring at the ground now. “Uh… are you sure about this?”

She shrugs. “Why not? Clothes are useless if they’re this filthy. We might as well just stay like this.”

I feel my face burning. “I mean… isn’t that a little—”

She raises an eyebrow. “What? Weird? Embarrassing?” She sighs. “At first, yeah. But think about it—we’re stuck here, just the two of us. Why should we care?”

I can’t argue with that logic. She’s right. There’s no one else. No society. No rules.

Still, I hesitate.

She smirks slightly. “You’re overthinking it.”

I exhale, then slowly pull off my shirt. Then my pants. The air feels strange against my skin, but at the same time… freeing.

Wonyoung smiles. “See? Not so bad.”

And just like that, we accept our fate. No more shame, no more awkwardness—just two survivors, stripped of everything, living in the most natural way possible.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

As now I'm naked as well, Wonyoung starts to look at my rod standing at attention. I caught her biting her lips and smiling, which I found adorable. She playfully teases, 'I can't help it, it's so…funny!' I blush furiously and retort, 'Hey, don't laugh!'". I'm confused why the heck Wonyoung is laughing at my dick? Maybe she has never seen one before?

"You look funny naked, especially with that thing down standing out of nowhere so hard" Wonyoung teases.

I'm sure Wonyoung knows herself why my dick is hard at the moment. It only get this way when there's a pretty hot girl around. Also the fact, Wonyoung is naked herself too. Wonyoung's stomach makes a noise again, its time for food and we realize we should start hunting for survival.

Yesterday we survived on wild fruits & coconuts, and anything remotely edible that we can scavenge. But soon, we realize that if we want to stay strong, we need real food ~ fish.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Wonyoung figures out that if we trap fish in small tidal pools near the shore, we can just grab them with our hands. It’s tricky, but with patience, we manage to catch a few.

Since we don’t have pots or pans, we cook the fish directly over a fire. We create a simple fire pit using dry wood and stones. We skewer the fish on sticks and roast them over the flames until they’re cooked through.

The first bite of was Incredible. We eat in silence, both of us savoring the moment. Wonyoung licks her lips, grinning. “I never thought I’d be this happy just eating a burnt fish.”

I laugh, nodding at her words.

As night falls, the temperature on the island drops, and the once-refreshing breeze turns into a chilling wind. Its getting cold. Yesterday we had our clothes but this morning, upon Wonyoung's idea, I also threw my clothes and we're both naked still.

With no clothes, no blankets, and only a small fire to keep us warm, the cold becomes a real problem.

At first, we try to endure it, huddling close to the fire, wrapping ourselves in large leaves, anything to stay warm. But nothing works.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Wonyoung shivers beside me, hugging herself tightly. “This isn’t working,” she mutters, her teeth slightly chattering.

I sigh. I’m freezing too. Then, reluctantly, Wonyoung says, “There’s only one thing we can do.”

I looks at her, raising an eyebrow. “What?”

She hesitates. “Body heat. If we stay close, we’ll be warmer.”

I stare her for a second, then exhale, shaking my head. “I can’t believe this…” But then, after another shiver, I mutter, “Fine. But don’t get any ideas. I try to be positive, trying my best to be a gentleman ”

But Wonyoung seems to have something in her mind, she has been trying a little to seduce me even in this kind of survival condition ever since we both got naked.

We move closer, our bare skin pressing together. The warmth is immediate, awkward at first, but undeniable.

She rests her head against my shoulder, her body still tense. “I love this,” she whispers.

Slowly, her body relaxes against mine, and I feel my own muscles easing. The cold doesn’t bite as much anymore.

After a few moments of silence, she sighs. “You’re warm…”

I smirk. “So are you.”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Wonyoung hugs me tigher, her chest pressing over mine. I can feel the size of her breasts, I have never grabbed them yet with my hands. I feel so good as well as her skin presses over mine more tightly..

Wonyoung and I can see the full moon together, it looks beautiful.

And just like that, we fall asleep, two survivors, pressed together against the cold, finding warmth in the only way we can.

The next morning, fever hits me suddenly. One moment, I’m fine, tired but fine. My body feels like it’s burning from the inside. My limbs are weak, my vision blurry, and every breath feels heavy.

I collapse near our shelter, barely able to keep my eyes open. Wonyoung rushes over, panic written all over her face.

“Hey! What’s wrong?” She kneels beside me, pressing a hand to my forehead. The moment she touches me, she gasps. “You’re burning up…”

I try to respond, but my throat is dry, my voice barely a whisper. “I’m… just tired…”

She bites her lip, looking around as if searching for a solution. “You’re Sick OH God!!"

Wonyoung has gotten emotional. She swallows hard, taking a shaky breath.

For the first time, I see her cry.

Even in this desperate situation, I hate seeing her like this. I slowly reach out, grabbing her trembling hand. “Hey… I’m not dead yet.” I try to smile, but even that takes too much effort.

She sniffles and squeezes my hand tightly. “You better not die,” she whispers. “I can’t be alone here.”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

That night, Wonyoung stays by my side, cooling my forehead with wet leaves, giving me water, whispering words of reassurance even when she thinks I’m asleep.

And in my fevered haze, I realize something—she’s not just the famous girl I once admired from afar. She’s not just my survival partner. She might be someone special in my life.

The fever doesn’t break overnight, that day Wonyoung does all the job, cooking the fishes and finding survival resources. My body feels weak, my head heavy, and every movement sends waves of exhaustion through me. But Wonyoung never leaves my side.

She brings me water from the stream, carefully tilting a coconut shell to my lips. “Drink,” she murmurs. Her voice is soft but firm, her eyes filled with worry.

I manage a few sips before resting my head back down. “Thanks…” I whisper.

She sighs, brushing my damp hair back. “You’re burning up.”

That night, as the cold wind howls through our shelter, Wonyoung presses herself against me, wrapping her arms around my body. “This should help,” she whispers. “You need warmth.”

I’m too weak to argue, and honestly, her body heat is comforting. She rests her head against my chest, holding me close. She takes care of my body.

At some point, I groan, my muscles aching all over.

She notices immediately. “Does it hurt?”

I nod weakly.

Without hesitation, she shifts, her delicate hands moving to my shoulders. Slowly, gently, she starts massaging me, her fingers pressing into my tense muscles. She also gave me a handjob at the middle. I don’t even know if I should count it as lewd since we have been naked together and staying like this for 2 days already, but this is the first time she grabbed my dick with her hands.

“Relax,” she whispers. “You always do everything for us. Just let me take care of you.”

Her hands move down my arms, across my back, easing the knots of pain. Her touch is soft but firm, careful yet reassuring.

For the first time in days, I feel a little better.

I close my eyes, letting her warmth, her touch, her presence lull me into much-needed rest.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Wonyoung asks, “Do you think the war is over?”

I exhale, shaking my head. “I don’t know.”

She stares at the horizon. “What if… no one is left?”

I glance at her. “What do you mean?”

She hugs herself tighter. “Last time we saw the world… there were nukes being launched. Countries were falling apart. If the war is over, does that mean someone won? Or does it mean no one is left to fight anymore?”

A heavy silence falls between us. The thought is terrifying, but not impossible.

I swallow. “Even if there are survivors, do you think anyone would look for us? We’re on some random, uncharted island. We don’t even know if this place is on any map.”

Wonyoung’s expression darkens. “We could be doomed.”

I don’t want to believe that. But deep down, I know she might be right.

She rests her head on my shoulder. “It’s just us now,” she whispers.

I wrap an arm around her, pulling her close. “Then we survive. No matter what.”

“But if we are the only ones left…” Wonyoung hesitates. “Should we… you know… repopulate?”

The word hangs in the air, heavier than anything we’ve ever spoken before.

I swallow hard. “You’re asking if we should have kids?”

She nods slowly. “It’s what humans do, right? Continue the species.”

The idea makes sense, logically. But something about it feels too real.

I exhale. “That’s a big decision.”

She glances at me, her cheeks slightly flushed. “I know. But if the world is gone… doesn’t that mean we’re responsible for rebuilding it?”

I run a hand through my hair, trying to process. “It’s not just about responsibility. We’d be bringing a child into a world with no hospitals, no medicine, no help. It’d be dangerous.”

She bites her lip, thinking. “Yeah… but if we don’t, then when we die, that’s it. The end of humanity.”

Silence. The fire crackles between us.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Pt2:

Wonyoung finally sighs, shaking her head. “Maybe I’m overthinking.”

After some while, Wonyoung asks, "Do you want some special comfort?"

Without understanding what special comfort she meant, I nodded yes.

Wonyoung winks and positioned her face between my legs. Her hands reach up to gently caress my thighs, sending shivers through my body. Leaning in slowly, I suddenly feel her pink tongue extends and swirls around the tip of my dick. A soft gasp escapes her as she tastes me, her eyes never leaving mine. She takes the head into her warm, inviting mouth.

I feel my full length inside her mouth. I finally realized Wonyoung is giving me a blowjob already. Wonyoung pulls back a bit. She grins, still stroking me gently. "Mmm…you like that y/n?" She teases before taking me deep again, bobbing her head with purpose now.

"Wonyoung, are you serious right now? You're a famous idol… I can't believe ur doing this!?!" I say.

Wonyoung replies, "Well, I don't think there's anyone left in the world. We should start reproducing already!." She continues taking my length more inside her mouth.

I realize Wonyoung must be feeling emotional, and that I'm the only person in her life now. It doesn't matter if I'm attractive or not.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Wonyoung is absolutely magnificent as she works to please me with her lips and tongue. Her tongue dances against the sensitive under side of my dick each time I hit the back of her mouth. She gazes up at me with desire, her cheeks hollowing as she takes me deeper still. Every flick, suck and lick from Wonyoung feels heavenly, it's clear she was made for this. I can't hold back my cries of pleasure - "Oh wow, Wonyoung please stop, you are amazing at this!"

Wiping a strand of saliva from her chin after she finishes sucking my rod, Wonyoung sits up and spreads her legs wide. Her thick bush of dark hair beckons me forward. "Alright, enough pleasing you. I want the same feeling as well. Mind eating my hairy pussy now?" she commands.

"Are you serious? But I'm sick!" I reply to her command.

"Oh right", Wonyoung pauses, a look of determination crossing her face. "Can't stand or return the favor hmm?" She grins slyly. "No problem, I can adapt." She positions herself above me, her beautiful eyes twinkling. "Here, I'll just…sit right down."

And with that, Wonyoung lowers herself, her vertical lips parting as she envelops my face in her warmth. I feel her weight settle on my face as she slowly sits on my face, her pussy hair tickling my nose.

I get flashbacks of watching Wonyoung's performance through my screen at home last year before the war started. It's exactly that same ass! Now that ass is about to be buried all over my face.

As Wonyoung lowers herself onto me fully, I am enveloped by her feminine heat and scent from her ass… She is totally face sitting on me.. Wonyoung is now riding my face!

Eager to please, I decide to really explore Wonyoung's shithole. Gently I spread her ass cheeks further apart, gazing at her tight little bud. I push my tongue forward deep, pushing more deep into Wonyoung's most intimate place. Inside her anus, my tongue meets warm, velvety smooth walls that grip me gently. A faint musky scent fills my senses as I wiggle and stroke within her sensitive rim.

My tongue inside her asshole is absorbing up every sticky morsel. The taste is intense, earthy and undeniably naughty. I delve deeper, driven by an urge to clean every inch of her filthy depths.

Her inner walls clench and grip my probing tongue as I feel the wet, dirty texture inside her tight little shithole. It's a decadent mess inside here. Oh fuck, Am I really eating her wet messy holes as she commands?

Shee gasps but then urges me, "Deeper...stick your tongue in!".

I oblige, slowly working my tongue.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Her ass shakes over my head with a playful excitement from taking in charge, she still asks teasingly, "Is OK?"

I nod, surrendering to pleasure her. My tongue extends, lapping up her slick nectar. She tastes divine. I feel her move, grinding against my mouth harder. She shifts a bit and my tongue finds her hairy wet pussy, making her bite her lip and smile wider.

I eagerly lap up every drop of her juices, my tongue tracing her folds and circling her engorged clit. I suck the bud into my mouth, flicking it while my hands press against her thighs for balance. Wonyoung gasps, riding my face harder. I insert my tongue as deep as it will go inside her within her wetness.

Wonyoung grinds down harder, inviting me to continue. I oblige, gently probing at her holes with more intention now. The salty-sweet taste of mixing her essence on my tongue drives me wild. Wonyoung cries out, clearly enjoying using me completely.

"Mmm…you're so good with that tongue, I just can't resist returning the favor!" Wonyoung cries. She leans down, taking my throbbing length back into her mouth. Now our bodies form a delightfully lewd 69 position - me eating her treasure while she continues to suck me off.

Her hips move in a sensual rhythm, grinding her wetness all over my face as I feel the base of my shaft hit her throat each time she takes me deep.

Our 69 is smooth and rhythmic now, both of us falling into it as the ecstasy builds. My tongue works her clit in firm circles while I thrust my tongue as deep as possible into her tight back doorway. Wonyoung's mouth moves expertly along my shaft, her lips sealed tight.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Just when I think it can't get more intense, I feel a warm fluid against my chin and mouth. "Oh my god, I'm sorry!" Wonyoung cries out. But I don't pull back - I simply extend my tongue, catching her pee with every skillful lick. She trembles above me as she finishes, spent. A mixture of her fluids coats my face but I don't mind one bit, still savoring her completely.

Against my will, I'm forced to drink down her warm, tangy urine. It's strong and acrid on my tongue but I obediently swallow, NOT wanting to displease Wonyoung. She seems shy now, her cheeks flushed crimson.

"Here, let me make it better." She whispers. Wonyoung begins gently licking my face with her soft, pink tongue. She methodically cleans every inch, the bitter taste slowly fading. When she reaches my lips she takes me into her mouth again, our tongues meeting. She swallows some of her own urine back from my mouth as we have a mouthful french kiss. Her eyes closed, slipping her tongue into my mouth. There it mixes with my saliva too, a lewd, taboo French kiss. When she finally breaks the kiss, her eyes search mine - a mix of apology and invitation.

She again engages me in a deep and soulful kiss. Wonyoung breaks the kiss, her eyes glinting with newfound desire. She stands up now. "I hope you can forgive me," she purrs before sitting over my shaft. Wonyoung positions herself now ready to ride my dicm. "Now fuck me…fuck me hard, its time for reproduction already! Forget the humanity outside! Theres no one left!" she screams.

She cries out as I claim her. I watch my rod disappearing between her thighs, feeling her walls tighten around me. "Yes, that's it!, Oh my god I can't believe I'm having my first time!" Wonyoung moans as she rides my dick hard. Our bodies connect with a primal rhythm as I punish her core. I know I won't last long after that intense buildup. "Don't stop!" she gasps, pulling me deeper. I'm determined to satisfy us both.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Tears spring to her eyes but she keeps crying out "Yes yes yes!".. Wonyoung is literally screaming and riding me at the middle of the island. We don’t know what's happening outside in the real world. But here, it seems we both are actually enjoying. Birds and insects are watching us fuck in the silent island. The island is full of her screams and cries in pleasure.

Wonyoung starts bouncing on my rod harder. Each deep thrust draws out prolonged, wailing cries from Wonyoung's lips: "AHH! AHHH PLEASE!". Wonyoung leans down upon my mouth for a kiss now.

She breathes, "You're taking me so well", "but I'm not nearly done with you yet until u cum inside me."

Wonyoung's forcefully kisses me deep and moans. "Ahh, please, I can't.. Cum already.!" she cries desperately, a mix of fear and excitement in her voice.

Wonyoung screams again, her voice rising in pitch as I cum inside her "OOOOHHH!"

Wonyoung feels the sticky white cum fill inside her. Its a big load. She still continues riding, but now Wonyoung feels something tear inside her… "You…you tore me," she whispers, eyes wide.

I push her away from my dick, I see a mess down in her pussy. Its full of my sperm and cum, her insides must have broken and torn apart since its her first time. "It hurts but we succeeded. I'm probably finally pregnant!." Wonyoung cries.

I get emotional too. I hug Wonyoung, and as she hugs me back, we hold each other with love, and I can feel her warmth and heartbeat. Inside Wonyoung is a complex mix of emotions and physical sensations.

I can't believe it, did I actually breed Wonyoung, the most popular K-pop girl? This feels so real, it’s definitely not a dream! Yes, thats right! If I and Wonyoung are really the only humans left, the next world generation will be descendants of us!

#wonyoung smut #girl group smut #kpop girl smut #izone smut #ive smut #yujin smut #yuna smut #itzy smut #twice smut #karina smut

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imstillalexcomic · 2 days ago

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Not really sure what to say for this one. We all know what’s happening in America right now and it’s not even a “put your ear to the ground to hear what’s coming” type of situation, there have been executive orders that specifically target transgender people.

The writing isn’t on the wall, it’s on government documents.

The phone call described in this strip happened a few months ago, before I came out publicly. As you can imagine, it only made me more fearful of coming out. If this person who I love and trust so much that they were one of the first folks I came out to over five years ago didn’t understand why what’s happening is so terrifying, why this bigotry needs to be completely shut down immediately, how could the bigots themselves understand?

Part of my position was that there were television ads being run showing transgender folks as these disgusting people, something less than human that are deserving of ridicule and are a drain on the country’s resources and a danger to children.

According to them, my terror of seeing me be advertised as that way was just me being alarmist, that the people that I’m afraid of aren’t going to do anything and that there shouldn’t be any fear of danger.

We’re two weeks in, and already there’s legal action being taken to strip me and people like me of not just their rights, but their humanity.

It’s hard. On one hand, I do understand their position that I should try to be a source of education, to try to bridge the gap to these people. I agree not in the sense that it should be my responsibility, but in that it feels like the only practical thing I can do.

On the other hand, what can I possibly do in the face of so much hatred?

I have family members who’ve voted for this. People who might say they have love in their hearts but voted to label certain people as sub-human.

I don’t know how they can reconcile that.

I don’t know how I can reconcile with them. I’m not just disappointed, I’m genuinely frightened. I don’t want to sound like the world is crashing down around us, but in a way it really is. Many of the folks who’ve voted this way don’t even realize what they were doing, the rest of them knew and didn’t care.

I don’t know which is worse.

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ohmybueckers · 1 day ago

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big ole freak - paige bueckers x reader

Summary: you're Paige's sneaky link and have her absolutely wrapped around your finger

Themes & Warnings: kinda sub Paige, driving while intoxicated (this is NOT an endorsement please do NOT do this), car sex, light choking kink, strap-on sex, oral sex, slight degradation, maybe one line of breeding kink, filth, like actual filth (with like a little bit of fluff at the end)

Author's Note: inspired by big ole freak by my mother megan thee stallion y'all i've had this idea brewing for a month so glad it's finally out in the world. special shoutout to my uconn hot girl twin @sierrale8ne and all the other hotties out there. In the wise words of meg... "your honor, i'm a freak bitch." happy reading <3

“He hit my phone with a horse

So I know that mean come over and ride it”

Wednesday nights were hit or miss at UConn - either you loaded all of your courses on Monday and Wednesday and had the night to chill, or you were prepping for a horrendous end to your week. You were in the former category, deciding to attend a party hosted by a friend of a friend you hardly knew - labelled a “wine Wednesday” party to anyone who asked why the fuck anyone would throw on a weeknight that wasn’t Thursday.

You maybe made it through one glass of cheap rose before your night evolved how most nights ended up in the not-so-bustling town of Storrs, Connecticut: sitting out by the fire pit of the beaten down rental house with your friends in a circle, passing a joint around and talking shit (about professors, exes, parents… no one was off limits in the rotation) under the glow of some poorly strung lights.

Though you hadn’t touched another glass since your first inhale, knowing that you were not risking getting crossfaded tonight, it didn’t help much. You always seemed to forget that weed and parties did not mix well for you. Every sound felt heightened yet muffled at the same time, from the bass of the music to the conversation your friends were having around you. Your skin burned, heat flooding down your back in a way that almost made you squirm.

You needed an out, and soon.

Your savior came in the form of two buzzes in quick succession from your phone on your lap. Though you typically aimed at staying present when surrounded by others, you ruled this as a worthy exception. You lifted it, immediately shifting it away from your friends’ view as you read the texts from the all too familiar contact.

Paige: wyd rn?

Paige: wanna see you tonight pretty girl

“Nobody know, I fuck with him on the low”

If you told the version of yourself two months ago that you would end up fucking Paige Bueckers, she would have laughed in your face. It was no secret to anyone in your friend group, many of whom had come in close contact with UConn athletes, that she had an extensive history, none of them sticking around for longer than a couple of nights. You refused to be yet another victim to community dick (in this case, community strap). Maybe you would be a little less put off by the idea of getting with someone with a reputation like Paige if she wasn’t so cocky about it, like she got off on the idea that girls were obsessed with her.

And then the two of you met on a night out at Ted’s, where she insisted on buying your drink (you told your friends afterwards that you let her for economical reasons). You attempted to stick with your friends that night, tired of your past filled with messy hookups that never led anywhere, but of course they all decided to mingle with the basketball team. Meaning Paige had the rest of the night to throw looks your way, practically eye fucking you. You hated to admit it, but you understood why girls were into Paige beyond aesthetic reasons: she was incredibly witty, quick to poke gentle fun at her friends while also making jokes about herself. Though it was clear in the few times she brought it up she loved what she did, it didn’t feel like the entire conversation revolved around her being a basketball star. And you couldn’t deny the way her gaze made you feel, like you were the only person there. And you hated it.

When you allowed Paige to put her number in your phone, you would also insist that it was due to bragging rights and had no intention of contacting her again. And when you texted her that night with just your name, you almost convinced yourself it was just the polite thing to do.

The two of you texted frequently throughout the week, with some time between messages due to her busy practice schedule and your insistence on not seeming like an overly obsessed groupie. You didn’t need to fuel her ego, no matter how much her attempts at flirting caused an ache between your thighs and how many times you’ve resorted to nights alone in your room, a chorus of moans filling the space as images of blue eyes and toned arms overwhelm you. Sure, you wanted to fuck her. But one thing you knew: if it was happening, it was happening under your terms.

It finally did around a week later, after a great afternoon showing for the Huskies in Gampel Pavilion. You stood in the student section, watching her light up the court in ways very few people could. The crowd was electric with every assist she made to Azzi, every time she made a clean three point shot, and with every effort she made to hype up the crowd. She truly was in her element. you would be lying if you said it didn’t tempt you.

Still buzzed from your tailgate beforehand, you texted her to say congratulations, to which she responded with a trademark Paige Bueckers flirty comment. It was certainly not the first time she had attempted this with you, so you weren’t sure why this time was any different. Maybe it was the liquid courage, but before you could think twice, you replied.

“want me to show you how winners get treated?”

That’s how you ended the night tangled in Paige’s sheets and long, strong limbs. Basking in your post orgasm glow knowing that throughout the entire exchange you were in control, even when you were receiving. For the first time in a long, long time, a hookup felt good.

You and Paige continued texting, this time more frequently. You were fully expecting Paige to be the type to hit it and quit it, as she had done many times before, but having a taste of you just seemed to make her want you more. And yet you never told your friends about any of it. Not because you were ashamed or anything, but because you knew it wouldn’t go anywhere. It almost never did with athletes, even ones that kiss your forehead and text you good morning every day. Though you were fully expecting it to end at some point, you really didn’t want to deal with your friends making it a huge deal. Even if there was a little part of you, a voice in your head you did everything to silence, that told you maybe you didn’t want her to go.

“We never show up together but I text him when I'm ready to go”

A half assed excuse left your lips as you walked away from the couch circle and closer to the trees, far enough away so nobody would hear when you pressed an all too familiar contact and made the call. The phone hardly needed to ring one time before her end of the line was overwhelmed by a cacophony of loud voices. Unless your ears were deceiving you, you swore you could hear KK scream “liar!” at someone

“Hey pretty gir- aye! Be quiet one moment!” Her attempt at being quiet quickly escalated to a yell, presumably at one of her teammates, before returning to your conversation with an apologetic tone, “Sorry, I’m at Aubrey’s.”

Why the UConn girls were seemingly partying on a Wednesday night was beyond your comprehension, but it was honestly the last thing on your mind in that moment. “‘Wanna see you tonight’, huh? Tryin to ditch your teammates?”

“They’re all too invested in Mario Party to care. Besides,” She paused, her voice getting quieter (and unless you were hearing things wrong, more vulnerable), “It’s worth it for you.”

You knew what you wanted, and boy you were going to get it. With a sickly sweet grin you asked, “Pick me up in ten?”

“I had a couple of shots at the bar

I'm finna play with that dick in the car"

You knew the second you shut the door to Paige’s car and kissed her that she had been drinking that night, the presence of liquor on her lips. You would be so ready to scold her for driving under the influence, tell her she should not play with her life like that, if you weren’t also just appreciative for any out you could get. Besides, as long as she was telling the truth, she was only a couple shots deep. The weed in your system had dulled down at this point, and instead of feeling overwhelmed from the noise around you, you were overwhelmed by the urge to have Paige the way you wanted to. especially with how she looked now, glasses on and hair thrown into a messy ponytail, silver chain accessorizing her sweat set. God, you didn’t even know if you could make it to her bed.

“This new?” She asks about two minutes into the twelve minute drive, gesturing to your top. It was an old one, found in the bottom of one of your bins of clothes while you were searching for a going out top that would allow you to put off doing laundry for another day. It worked well enough - a simple crop top with a flattering neckline. “Looks really good.”

“Nah, kept it from freshman year,” You replied, head braced by your arm against the side of the car staring at the girl next to you. Paige had a grip on her steering wheel, eyes focused on the practically empty roads leading to her apartment. A part of you was very thankful she was being cautious given the circumstances. But another part of you, a more sinister voice, wanted to try something.

Your manicured hands traced up your torso, your own touch nearly making you gasp. Damn, you really were that desperate. Your nails played with the hem of your shirt, gently pulling it up towards your breasts as the air conditioning hit more and more of your skin. “This is new though.”

Paige hit a red light, making a confused sound before her eyes met yours. They didn’t stay there long before trailing down, past your neck and to the bra that currently had your tits pushed to the sky, one hand reaching around to cup one as you licked your lips. Your top could hardly be considered one anymore, pooled at your collarbone as you continued touching yourself. You maintained your gaze, looking at the blonde like she was prey as her tongue met her cheek inside her mouth, a loud swallow going down her throat.

When she finally spoke, it was a breathless chuckle that revealed just what kind of effect you had on her as she shook her head. “You’re something else.”

The green light flashed into the car, prompting her to return her gaze back to the road and press on the gas. Google Maps said you were eight minutes away, but judging by the way your finger was tracing around your bra covered nipple, you weren’t sure if you could wait that long. And if the way Paige’s eyes were bugging out of her head at the road attempting to not look at you were any indication, you knew she felt the same. “Paige?”

“Mhmm?” She asked through gritted teeth, hanging on to her last thread of self control.

“Pull over.”

————

“That’s it, just like that… fuck.”

You nodded in Paige’s pussy, nails grazing her thighs. The set up could be more ideal: All six feet of her were crammed in the backseat, sweats pooled at her ankles as you sat almost diagonal in order to have a more comfortable position. Neither of you really seemed to care all that much, too intoxicated off of each other and your respective substances. Besides, judging by the way Paige massaged your neck and whined, you wouldn’t be here long.

You only needed two more minutes eating Paige out like she was your last meal before her grip tightened at the back of your neck, cumming with a cry of your name. You ate her through it, slurping her up like ice cream before slowly rising, placing a kiss to her lips so she could taste herself. She hummed with contentment into the kiss, cupping your jaw tenderly. You separated, your smirk cocky as her hand traced back down your neck, feeling the soft material of your bra for herself. “So fucking pretty,” she whispered to herself, eyes trained on how the color of the garment made your skin look radiant. Her hands switched directions, gently tracing up before reaching your neck and applying pressure with hungry eyes.

“We’re going home. Need to see you cum on my dick now.”

“I'ma make him wait for the pussy

Hit it 'til he big ole skeet”

The rest of the car ride was uneventful, Paige keeping a grip on your thigh as music propelled you guys into her parking lot. When you reached her apartment, you were ready for the inevitable fight for dominance between the two of you. Instead, Paige merely hung her keys on her hook and moved to the kitchen. “Want any water?”

You almost laugh as you follow her in, as if she was pranking you. “What are you, all talk and no game?” You joke, still taking the offer. Despite drinking Paige up just moments prior, you were very aware of just how dry your mouth was.

Paige smirked, taking a sip of her own water before grazing your torso with her hands. “Just tryna be chivalrous, ma.”

You took a big gulp of water, allowing yourself to sink into the feeling of Paige’s touch before setting the glass down. “Don’t need all that,” You murmur, the pads of your fingers playing with the hem of Paige’s hoodie. You look up, maneuvering yourself so your lips were as close to her ear as possible before murmuring. “Just need you.”

“Oh yeah?” She teases, already beginning to back you towards her bedroom, her tall frame overwhelming yours. Now this is what you came here for: the feeling of her tongue slipping in your mouth as your lips collided, the feeling of her properly undressing you as soon as her door shut behind you, and the gravel in her voice as she commands you to “get on the bed”.

“You have no fucking idea how bad i’ve wanted this,” Paige growled, crawling above you and connecting your lips once more before peppering them down to your neck. You couldn’t help but sigh, deciding that you would put up with a million lackluster parties if they all ended like this.“These perfect tits.” She moved to toss your bra on her floor before licking around your nipple, sucking on your breast and surely leaving a mark - she always found a way to, much to your chagrin. You allowed yourself to take pleasure in the feeling for a moment, resting up before your next move. Because while you moments like these with Paige, there was no way in hell you were letting her think the dynamic switched.

With a swift move that even left yourself dumbfounded at your abilities , you hooked a leg around her and flipped the basketball player over, catching yourself with both hands on the mattress. Paige’s jaw dropped, equally shocked and impressed. “Woah.”

“I thought you’d figure out by now that I’m in charge here,” You quipped, gaining enough composure quickly to maintain the persona you wanted. You were going to fuck Paige just as much as she was fucking you. You quickly made the executive decision that Paige was wearing far too many clothes, gesturing her to raise her arms before moving to help her remove her hoodie leaving her in her sweats and a sports bra - very typical Paige attire. You nipped, kissed, and sucked above her chest in the areas not covered by the sports bra, careful to avoid her neck or any other areas that would be visible in a jersey. At one point, you took the chain she wore in your mouth, feeling the cold metal against your lips. Paige groaned, attempting to tug your mouth back on to hers by lifting you from your waist. You tsk, “Be patient.”

“You’re making patience really hard, sweetheart.” She states through gritted teeth, one hand moving to your hair and tugging to make a point. She was desperate tonight, just the way you liked her.

Deciding to give her a little taste of you, you sat up so only your ass made contact with her, sitting plush against her pelvis. Need to see you cum on my dick now, her voice repeated in your head. with a mischievous glint. Slowly, you began grinding your hips, your ass hitting against her. “This what you want?”

She threw her head back, realizing what you were mimicking. “Please.”

“Beg.”

You would think you said something far more outrageous the way she looked up at you, eyebrows raised. “You crazy? nah!”

Typical Paige, not one to give up without a fight. You knew all too well how this would end though.“Suit yourself.” You shrugged, continuing your actions from before, this time trailing a hand down your short skirt and lightly touching yourself through your panties.

“Fuck baby,” She swore she could feel how wet you were as you continued rolling your hips, giving her a preview of everything she could have if she just put her ego aside. “You’re killing me right now.”

“I think I know what would fix that,” you purred.

“Oh fuck,” her voice was almost strangled, any ounce of dignity she had quickly leaving her body and being replaced by the urge to make you feel good. Her eyes appeared as though they were welling up as she pleaded with you. “Please let me fuck you. Would do anything to make you feel good.”

A smile spread across your face, knowing you finally had her exactly where you wanted her. You paused your teasing, swinging your leg back aroundand reaching a standing position. Her eyes followed you, her gaze equally confused and frustrated, before she recognized the box you were reaching for in her drawer.

“That wasn’t so hard, was it?” You asked, harness and dildo in hand as you sauntered back over to the bed.

“Ain't nobody freak like me

Give ya what you need like me

Ain't nobody got on they tip, tip toes and rode to the tip like me”

You were putting on a whole ass show for her. Your feet were positioned on each side of of her, providing stability as you bounced on her silicon dick like your life depended on it. Your tits bounced with each impact your bodies made. The room was quiet (save for the sound of both of your moans and the dull buzz of the vibrator against Paige within the strap), but it was like you were moving to a melody, alternating between fast moments of riding her and slower moments where you simply moved your hips, allowing yourself to bask in the pleasure.

Paige laid back against the pillows, practically mesmerized at the sight of you as you ran a hand through your hair, throwing your head back in the process. “Holy shit.”

“Any other girls fucking you like this, baby?” You don’t know why you felt the need to ask. For one, you were very confident in your abilities, and you also knew that Paige was likely still going home with other girls. It’s not a topic you ever cared enough to approach.

“No other girls anymore. None could make me cum like you,” Paige shook her head, moving to grab your waist and help facilitate your movements as if she was seeking any form of control she could get. “Riding my dick like a slut, baby, fuck.”

Your eyes wandered a bit, over to the collection of photographs on Paige’s wall, the number of awards given, all the way to one particular object. Your hips began to slow progressively until they came to a complete stop, prompting a disappointed groan from the blonde beneath you.

“Stand up. I wanna try something new.”

“I want to fuck in the mirror, I like to look at your face when you in it

Come in the room and I'm giving commands

I am the captain and he the lieutenant”

The sides of the chair you were gripping were cold, in contrast to the heat rushing through the rest of your body. Paige stood behind you, pounding into you from behind as the both of you took full advantage of the full length mirror beside you giving you a full view of everything - and by everything, you meant everything, from the way Paige’s hair looked entirely fucked out to the wetness dripping down her thighs.

Paige’s eyes squeezed shut, unable to handle the way your ass looked rippling against her, how your waist fit in her hands as she slammed you back, and she especially could not handle the way you were looking at her in the mirror. “Baby imma bust,” she moaned, her words slurred together. She was too drunk off of you.

“Hold it. I’m almost there,” you instructed, reaching down to rub circles around your clit. You were dripping, cream forming a ring around Paige’s strap. You moved your hips, twerking on her dick as you looked back at it. Paige was convinced in that moment that if it were not anatomically impossible, she would have absolutely accidentally knocked you up in that moment.

“Need to cum so bad, baby. You feel so good, so fucking fine.”

The warmth that once rushed through you from the joint was now accumulating to your core. It was all becoming too much, even more so when she slapped your hand away to help rub hard circles on you, her desperation a mix of wanting to be the reason you finished as well as the realization that she was going to blow any moment.

“Gonna cum.” You finally moan, feeling as though your legs may snap as you let go. Paige was not far behind, gripping your waist and burying her head in your neck as she pressed herself to the base inside of you.

“Usually I like to fuck

But tonight we gon' make love 'cause you bae”

You attempted to catch your breath as you laid down next to Paige. She had both hands on the sides of your face, thumbs brushing your cheeks. “You’re so perfect,” She murmured, eyelids drooping as she fought the urge to pass out then and there. Her touch was less possessive this time and more tender, cupping your skin as if it were made of glass.

You let out a breathy laugh at her words, almost like you couldn’t believe them, yet you couldn’t stop the way your body nuzzled into hers further. “You’re just happy you got laid tonight,” You quipped.

“I don’t mean it like that. you know I don’t.”

Perhaps one of the most important rules of hooking up with an athlete, especially one as high profile as Paige, is to never believe a word they say. So you felt a little silly when you took note of how her blue eyes gazed at you, waking up enough to make eye contact to show you that this was the truth. It felt worse when you felt your heart skip a beat at the realization. In fact, it scared the hell out of you.

“Stay the night tonight,” She whispered. You had never heard her sound like that, so out of control and at your whim. She was scared too. “I don’t want you to leave.”

You nodded, pushing past the voice in your head screaming at you to run just as you had after every other night you and Paige shared. You were tired, and Paige was right there, and it was just not the time to listen to your head over your heart. “Okay.”

You would deal with logistics later. All you needed now was tonight.

#paige bueckers #uconn women’s basketball #paige bueckers fic #paige bueckers smut #wlw smut #Spotify

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pathologicalreid · 2 days ago

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spring into summer | s.r.

in which Spencer pursues a relationship with you. you try to resist every advance - for your own protection.

[previously]

who? spencer reid x fem!reader category: angsty content warnings: blowing smoke part tew, at a bar but it's not specified whether or not reader drinks alcohol, kissing, if you have a problem with my bar music keep it to yourself, maeve as a plot device, love confessions, not edited word count: 2.25k a/n: y'all i wasn't gonna do this, but listening to this song... yeah i had to.

“Spencer’s here!” Penelope exclaimed from her bar stool, her heels clicking on her way to the front of the bar, hoping to lead Spencer through the crowd to where the team had decided to set up shop.

Your head snapped up in alarm, tilting your head to the side and trying to get JJ’s attention, “I didn’t think Spencer was coming out tonight.”

She frowned slightly, placing her glass on the bar and shrugging, “It was an open invite.”

An open invite that you extended to the guy you’re seeing. You huffed, pulling the strap of your dress back over your shoulder and flagging down the bartender, hoping to get a drink before you need to play defense against Spencer.

“Hey,” Ethan said from behind you, a cute guy from counterterrorism that Penelope had introduced you to. His hand sat comfortably on your waist as you got the bartender’s attention again, letting him know that you’d actually need two drinks.

You smiled back at him, panicking slightly when he leaned in to kiss you. Evading his kiss, you let his lips land on your cheek, turning your head so that you were facing Spencer.

The two of you had as little contact as you could manage in the past two months, ever since Spencer’s attempt to ask you out had gone completely awry. Of course, ceasing all contact was unavoidable, between work and Spencer’s continued pursuance, you continuously found yourself under his net.

Ethan squeezed your waist gently, taking the glass that the bartender had placed in front of him and grabbing a straw for yours. You thanked him, crushing the straw wrapper against the bar and taking a sip.

Admittedly, you weren’t interested in the guy in the slightest. The second time you went out together, he’d gotten your name wrong, but he was friends with Penelope’s crush, so you were trying to be a good sport.

It felt like the world was playing a cruel joke on you, pairing you with someone who couldn’t be bothered to remember your name while you were trying to shut out a guy who remembered your favorite flower from a conversation three years ago. Yesterday, you’d found a bouquet on your desk for the third Thursday in a row.

Every time you read the card that he sends with the arrangement, you almost forget yourself. It would be a waste for you to get rid of them, which is the only reason you’ve kept them on your desk.

Or so you keep telling yourself.

“You look nice,” Spencer whispered to you, reaching between you and JJ so he could grab his drink from the bar. He looked good, you noticed him against your better judgment, even the embroidery on his tie managed to catch your attention.

Before you could collect yourself enough to respond to him, Morgan had already pulled him back to a booth, putting an arm around his shoulders and pointing out different girls in the bar while Savannah rolled her eyes. His hair was growing out from the undercut that he’d debuted in the fall, falling in front of his eyes until he inevitably flicked the stray hairs away.

Peeling your eyes off of him, you looked back at Ethan, who’d already made his way through half his drink. His eyes were glued to the baseball game being displayed above the bar. If your date had noticed you ogling your coworker, he didn’t show it.

Tentatively, you tapped his stool gently with your toe, “Hey,” you tried to get his attention, batting your eyelashes. “Do you wanna go over to the jukebox with me? We can pick a song together,” you offered.

He frowned and shook his head, “Nah, the Nationals game is on.” He nodded his head up to the TV, refraining from sparing you a glance.

You looked up at the screen, they were at the bottom of the second inning, and you were in for an exhausting night. “Right,” you said flatly, “I’ll be right back.”

Sharing a look with Penelope, who shot you a supportive thumbs up from the other side of the bar, you got off your stool and adjusted your purse over your shoulder. You liked that this bar still had a real jukebox, as opposed to the updated touchscreens commonly found in bars nowadays. You dug through your purse for a quarter, half paying attention to your rummaging and using the rest of your brain power to study the available songs.

A few things caught your eye, most of the available tracks were classics—Journey, Queen, and a Meatloaf track that was suspiciously out of order. Probably because the song was over eight minutes long. “Here,” the familiar voice—that you’d been trying to avoid—spoke.

Spencer held a quarter out for you, leaving the coin displayed in his palm until you graciously accepted it. “Thanks,” you said, “Do you have any suggestions?” You expertly dodged his attempt at eye contact, sliding the quarter into its slot and reading through the titles again. Pressing your lips in a thin line while you ignored the way he was leaning over the jukebox.

“Why did you ask him to come out?” He asked, pointing at one of the songs and chuckling when you shook your head. He should’ve known better than to actually make a request. After all, you were just being polite.

You squinted at a title, worn with time, and you distracted yourself with the task of reading it. “I didn’t know you were coming with us,” you muttered, refusing to let your curiosity get the better of you and resisting the urge to just select the worn button. “You don’t usually like this bar,” you reminded him. You couldn’t remember the last time Spencer went out to a bar that wasn’t O’Keefe’s.

He hummed next to you, standing so close that you could feel his body heat intermingling with your own. “So,” he started, “You wouldn’t have asked him to go out if you had known I was going to be here.”

“I didn’t say that,” you told him, your eyes flickering to the side. Not enough to see his face, but enough to notice that he’d taken off his suit jacket, his sleeves pushed up to his elbows.

“You might as well have,” he returned, watching as you finally chose a Fleetwood Mac song, concluding that you’d either have to choose a song you didn’t want or waste Spencer’s quarter.

You peeked around him, your date still preoccupied with the sporting event. Even so, you tried to make your way around Spencer, but he grabbed your elbow and held you back.

There was nothing forceful in his action. If you wanted to snatch your arm away and stalk away from him, he wasn’t going to stop you, but you found yourself interested in staying with him. It would be worth your while to stay with someone who was begging for your attention rather than return to the bar to beg for someone else’s.

Spencer looked around, mindful of the members of your team who were still in earshot while he led you away from the crowds. He tucked you away, resting your back against a shiplap wall in a corner, perfectly concealed from curious profilers. “I want to talk to you,” he whispered, leaning against the wall.

You crossed your arms in front of your chest in preemptive defense, making sure he stayed at least a foot away from you. “I’ve said everything there is to say to you,” you made no effort to avert his gaze, no attempt to duck away from the conversation.

“I haven’t,” he responded immediately, his voice steady despite the noticeable pounding of his carotid. It was almost as if he’d practiced this speech before, going through every permutation of the conversation in his mirror before meeting you out.

Raising your eyebrows, you looked up at him; the sun was setting, the orange light reflecting in his brown irises while he studied you like it was the last time he’d ever see you. “Spence,” you breathed, waiting expectantly for him to continue.

“You never actively pursued me, how was I meant to know you were interested?” His question made you want to scoff, but the earnest look in his eyes gave you pause. “Admittedly, social cues aren’t my strong suit, and I know you know that.”

Your shoulders relaxed, “So, because I never actively pursued you, it’s my fault that we never ended up together? Was I supposed to declare my intentions to you?”

He shook his head, sending strands of wavy brown hair tumbling in front of his forehead. In another life, you would’ve reached out to fix his hair. “No, I’m saying that while you never actively pursued me, I am actively pursuing you. I just want to make sure you know what page I’m on,” he told you, nervously picking at his nails.

“Spencer,” you sighed his name, “I already told you I couldn’t do it.” You’d cried it to him, actually. You expected this conversation to be more of the same, pleading with Spencer to understand your perspective on the situation while he relentlessly begged you to reconsider.

Reaching out, he touched your arm gently, nothing more than a graze of his fingertips across your bare skin, “And I want to prove to you that we can do this. I can be the guy that you want.”

You pressed your lips together, trying to push yourself further into the wall until you phased right through it, “I can’t take the back and forth.” You needed something stable, but what you needed would never be reflective of what you wanted. The most brutal truth of all was that you still wanted Spencer. You considered him your first love, and no one ever gets over their first love.

Just like he’d never get over his.

“There are just too many years between us, Spencer. It’s too complicated,” you told him, trying to keep your breathing steady. It would be exhausting to explain your tearful look to the rest of the team.

He waved your reasoning away, “It’s not. It’s not complicated. I love you and you love me. So, why can’t we be together?”

Your lips parted, staring up at him with wide eyes as your brain frantically tried to catch up with the situation at hand. Each beat of your heart was like a repetition of the word—love, love, love.

Spencer took your silence for rejection, “Maybe it’s just me then.”

“It’s not,” you croaked, fear and love and sorrow causing your throat to strangle your words. You looked up at him and wondered how long he’d been sitting on that confession. You wondered how long he’d known you loved him. You wondered if he still dreamed about Maeve. For whatever reason, that’s the only curiosity that you voiced, “Do you still dream about her?”

“I only dream about you these days,” he answered, his voice soft in the cacophony of the bar, keeping the conversation private despite your public stage.

“You can’t mean that,” you murmured, your face warming in response to his confession.

Your response only seemed to encourage him further, leaning his head down to allow himself contact. He pressed his lips to yours gently, and you found yourself leaning into him more than you’d like, each movement of his lips reminiscent of a chisel against the wall that you had constructed between the two of you.

Reaching your arms up, you propped one over his shoulder and used your free hand to weave your fingers in his hair—just as silky as you had always imagined it would be. His lips were soft against yours, and you knew you were fighting a battle that you could never win. You’d always run back to him.

Even when you pried yourself away from him, there wasn’t an ounce of regret in your bloodstream, but there was an outpour of sorrow. “Spence,” you breathed, blinking tears from your eyes while he pressed his forehead against yours.

“I’m sorry,” he responded, “I shouldn’t have done that.” His tone didn’t reflect his words in the slightest, there was no remorse in his eyes when you met them for the first time in a new light.

You shook your head instantly, “It’s okay.” You understood why he had done it. Telling you he loved you. Kissing you. He hadn’t done either of those things with Maeve. Spencer was trying to make a statement with you; he wanted his actions to speak louder than words.

He frowned, “You’re crying. I’m so sorry.”

Your lips parted to respond, but you hesitated for a moment. Curiosity was rapping at your door, wanting to know if the last person he had kissed was Diane. “I’m not crying because I didn’t want you to kiss me,” you admitted, hoping that your candor would serve to bring him some comfort.

“Oh,” he breathed, “Oh.”

You nodded, confirming his suspicions, “But I meant it when I told you I can’t do this. I just… not right now.” You needed time to come to terms with the fact that the love you never expected was right around the corner, and you needed time so that Maeve wasn’t the first person you thought over after kissing him.

“Okay,” he said, taking a small step away from you, “But you… you’ll let me know?”

Your head bobbed, “I’ll let you know.”

"I love you and I always will and I am sorry. What a useless word." - Ernest Hemingway

#criminal minds #spencer reid #spencer reid x reader #criminal minds fanfic #spencer reid fanfic #spencer reid angst #criminal minds fanfiction #spencer reid x you #spencer reid fanfiction #spencer reid fic #criminal minds fic #criminal minds angst #spencer reid x fem!reader #written by margot

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goldfades · 1 day ago

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HOTTEST COUPLE IN THE ROOM ───JB⁹

⟢ ┈ 𝐰𝐨𝐫𝐝 𝐜𝐨𝐮𝐧𝐭 | 2.5k

⟢ ┈ 𝐬𝐮𝐦𝐦𝐚𝐫𝐲 | requested! -> "Joe x Dallas cowboy cheerleader reader"

⟢ ┈ 𝐰𝐚𝐫𝐧𝐢𝐧𝐠𝐬 | reader is kinda perceived as bitchy, and not a cookie-cutter dcc. lots of a banter, leads to relationship.

⟢ ┈ 𝐞𝐯'𝐬 𝐧𝐨𝐭𝐞𝐬 | my new fav thing EVER

The bass shakes the floor beneath your heels, the scent of top-shelf liquor and expensive cologne thick in the air. The postgame party is exactly what you expected—too many people, too much noise, and a lingering sense of competition that doesn’t quite fade even after the game’s final whistle. Cowboys and Bengals players mix like oil and water, good-natured jabs tossed between sips of whiskey, the occasional laugh laced with something sharper.

You don’t want to be here.

But when the Dallas Cowboys Cheerleaders make an appearance, it’s not optional. It’s PR. It’s “team camaraderie.” It’s smiling through gritted teeth while some dude in a suit with more money than personality tells you how impressive it is that you can do a perfect high kick in full glam.

You adjust the hem of your dress, shifting against the leather couch tucked in the VIP section. It’s not that you’re bad at playing the part. You just don’t fit the mold the way you’re supposed to. The other girls—prim, polished, always camera-ready—glide through the room like they were born for this. You, on the other hand, are already toeing the line of “too much.” Too opinionated, too unpredictable, too unwilling to be anything other than exactly who you are.

And yet, you’re still here. Because when you dance, they shut up about the rest.

“Didn’t think you’d actually show,” a voice drawls beside you, cutting through the music.

Your gaze shifts, locking onto the last person you expected to seek you out tonight. Joe Burrow.

His suit jacket is slung over his arm, the sleeves of his crisp white button-down rolled up just enough to give him that effortlessly put-together look. He’s got that half-smirk that’s made him a social media obsession, and yet there’s something else in his expression—curiosity, maybe. Amusement.

You raise a brow. “Didn’t think you knew who I was.”

“Oh, I know who you are.” His eyes flicker, something sharp and knowing in them. “Hard to miss the cheerleader who doesn’t play by the rules.”

You tilt your head, feigning offense. “I play by the rules.”

Joe huffs a quiet laugh, shaking his head. “Nah. You don’t. You just make it look like you do.”

And there it is. The first crack in the game, the unspoken understanding settling between you like a drawn line in the sand.

It should be nothing.

But somehow, it doesn’t feel like nothing.

You lean back against the couch, one arm draped lazily over the backrest, the other toying with the rim of the drink you don’t actually want. The ice clinks softly as you swirl it, eyes flicking back to Joe, unimpressed but not entirely disinterested.

“Wow,” you deadpan. “Joe Burrow knows my reputation. I guess I can retire now.”

Joe huffs a quiet laugh, the kind that barely shakes his shoulders. “Just saying, you don’t blend in.”

You lift a brow. “Neither do you.”

His smirk deepens, just a little. “Difference is, I’m supposed to stand out.”

You roll your eyes. “God, you’re worse than I thought.”

Joe blinks, feigning offense. “Worse?”

“Yeah.” You tilt your head, taking him in. “I figured you’d at least let me get a word in before pulling the ‘I’m Joe Burrow’ card.”

“I didn’t say that.”

“You didn’t have to.”

The smirk on his face falters just a fraction, like he’s recalculating his approach. He came over here thinking he’d charm you with minimal effort, just like he probably does with every other girl in this room. You can’t blame him. You’re used to guys like him—ones who assume that a few smooth lines and a good jawline will be enough to win you over. It’s exhausting, really.

Joe, to his credit, seems to pick up on it quickly. He shifts his stance, dropping the easy arrogance just a notch, watching you like he’s trying to figure out a new play mid-game.

“So, you don’t like football players,” he guesses.

“I never said that.”

“You don’t seem impressed.”

“I’m just not easily impressed.”

Joe clicks his tongue, shaking his head like he’s been personally challenged. “Tough crowd.”

You let out a short laugh, finally taking a sip of your drink. The warmth spreads through you, smoothing the edges of your already sharp tongue. “Look, I get it. You’re Joe Cool, media darling, golden boy, future Hall of Famer, blah, blah, blah. But none of that tells me who you actually are.”

Joe’s quiet for a beat, like he wasn’t expecting you to cut through the bullshit so quickly. Most people don’t.

He studies you. “You wanna know who I am?”

“I wanna know if you can hold a conversation that doesn’t involve your highlight reel.”

Joe grins, shaking his head like you’re more trouble than he bargained for—but not the kind he wants to walk away from.

“Alright,” he says, leaning in slightly. “Let’s make it fair. Since you’re so uninterested in my career, how about I ask about yours?”

You narrow your eyes. “Go for it.”

He tilts his head. “You always wanted to be a cheerleader?”

You pause for a fraction of a second. It’s not a bad question, but it’s not the usual small talk either. It’s got an edge to it, like he’s actually curious.

“No,” you admit. “I wanted to be an astronaut.”

Joe snorts. “Serious?”

“As a heart attack.” You smirk. “But apparently, NASA frowns upon people who talk back to their instructors.”

Joe laughs now, really laughs, and it does something to his face—makes it lighter, less perfectly put-together. It’s a nice look on him.

“So, you settled for the next most intense program?” he asks.

“Something like that.” You glance around the room, at the Cowboys players, the other cheerleaders, the high-profile guests all schmoozing and clinking glasses. “DCC is its own version of NASA. Just with more hairspray and stricter calorie counts.”

Joe hums, considering that. “And yet, you don’t seem the type to take orders.”

You shrug. “I don’t. But I’m really, really good at what I do.”

His gaze lingers for half a second too long. “Yeah,” he says, low and thoughtful. “I bet you are.”

There’s something about the way he says it that makes your breath catch for just a second—not because you’re flustered, but because it feels like he actually sees you, past the sequins and forced smiles and PR obligations.

You tap your nails against your glass, breaking whatever was starting to settle between you. “Well, congrats,” you say, all light and teasing again. “You managed to hold a conversation without bringing up your own stats.”

Joe grins, lazy and triumphant. “And?”

You take a slow sip, watching him over the rim of your glass. “You’re not completely insufferable.”

Joe laughs, leaning back into the couch. “I’ll take it.”

The first date wasn’t supposed to happen.

At least, not in your mind.

But Joe had this way of slipping through the cracks of your carefully built walls, catching you off guard in a way that wasn’t annoying, but intriguing. So, when he had looked at you across that crowded party and said, “One drink. No football talk,” you had rolled your eyes, but ultimately, you had agreed.

One drink turned into three. A post-midnight drive through downtown. A completely ridiculous bet over who could name more obscure 90s songs (you won, obviously). And then, somehow, a second date.

And that was the real surprise.

Because by then, you figured you had him pegged. Star quarterback, smooth operator, probably used to women falling over themselves to impress him. But the Joe you saw away from the cameras, when it was just the two of you in a dimly lit hole-in-the-wall bar or sprawled out on his couch, eating takeout straight from the boxes, was different. He was easy in a way that felt familiar, like a song you hadn’t heard in years but still knew all the words to.

And he got you.

Most guys would tense up when you made some sarcastic comment, unsure if they should be amused or offended. Joe just smirked and shot one right back, quick and sharp like one of his passes. The banter was effortless, the chemistry undeniable, but it never felt forced.

It felt like you’d known him forever.

Which was dangerous.

Because you weren’t supposed to like him this much.

But a few months flew by before you could think too hard about it.

One minute, you were rolling your eyes at him in a Dallas bar. The next, you were sneaking glances at your phone in the middle of DCC rehearsals, trying not to smile at whatever nonsense he had just texted you.

Then came the flights.

You found yourself booking tickets to Cincinnati more often than you’d ever expected, trading in your Texas sunsets for the sharp chill of Ohio air, showing up in his city like you belonged there. And the crazy part? It never felt inconvenient. You had never been the type to rearrange your schedule for a guy, but with Joe, it was different. He made the effort too—catching flights to see you between games, showing up unannounced just to grab dinner, like it was the most normal thing in the world.

It should’ve been overwhelming, but it wasn’t.

Because nothing about Joe was ever boring.

You’d expected the excitement in the beginning—the flirty back-and-forth, the teasing, the lingering looks that stretched longer than they should. But what you hadn’t expected was the way he made everything feel lighter. How he made you laugh when you were dead on your feet after an exhausting game day. How he somehow always knew when you needed to talk and when you just needed to sit in comfortable silence.

And yeah, the tension was there. Always.

You weren’t blind, and Joe sure as hell wasn’t either. There were moments—when his hand lingered on your lower back a second too long, when you caught him watching you with that unreadable expression, when he pulled you into a hug that felt like it meant something more.

But neither of you pushed it. Not yet.

For now, it was enough to just exist in whatever this was.

And, for the first time in a long time, you weren’t in any rush to define it.

The New York City skyline stretched high above the venue, lights twinkling like they were in on the secret that tonight was something different.

Joe didn’t hide you.

He hadn’t from the start, really, but there was a difference between showing up for each other in private and standing next to him now, his hand resting low on your back, his fingers pressing into the fabric of your dress like he wanted everyone to see exactly where you belonged.

And you?

You looked good enough to ruin a man’s career.

Your dress was the kind that turned heads—sleek, with just enough edge to remind people that you weren’t the typical quarterback’s girlfriend. Joe wasn’t intimidated by it, wasn’t the type to shrink when his girl demanded attention. No, if anything, he was thriving on it. Walking into the party with you on his arm, chin high, like he knew for a fact that you were the hottest couple in the room.

And you were.

It didn’t matter that the place was full of some of the most famous athletes in the league, that models and influencers and A-listers milled around with expensive drinks in hand—no one looked as good as the two of you together.

Joe left you only once, leaning down to murmur, “Gonna get us a drink, don’t go too far.”

You weren’t worried about being left alone. You’d been in these rooms before, could handle yourself just fine.

But apparently, someone didn’t get the memo.

The moment Joe was out of earshot, a presence settled beside you—too close, too confident.

“Damn, haven’t seen you in a minute.”

You already knew you were going to hate him before you even looked.

And sure enough, when you turned, there he was. A Cowboys player, one you’d interacted with just enough to know he was exactly the type you had no patience for. Cocky in a way that wasn’t charming, self-important in a way that made your skin itch.

You barely had time to open your mouth before he bulldozed on.

“So, what, you finally got tired of playing in the kiddie pool and upgraded?” He grinned, not even waiting for you to respond. “Figured it was only a matter of time. The whole ‘untouchable cheerleader’ thing was getting old.”

You smiled. Smirked, really. Because this? This was amusing.

He thought you were flustered. Thought you were scrambling for a way out.

Like you hadn’t been shutting down men like him since the first time you ever put on that DCC uniform.

“Oh, yeah,” you said, voice smooth as silk. “Joe’s an upgrade, alright.” You tilted your head, eyes dragging over him in an exaggerated once-over. “But considering what I was working with before, it really didn’t take much.”

His smile flickered, but he was too stubborn to let it go. “C’mon, you don’t have to pretend with me. I know you, remember? Back when you were just another Dallas girl trying to play hard to get?”

You actually laughed at that.

Not a fake, polite one. A real one. Because this was just sad.

“Wow,” you mused. “I’ve gotta give it to you, you commit to the bit. Most guys would’ve tapped out by now, but you? You’re still going. That’s dedication.”

His jaw tensed just slightly. “I’m just saying, no need to act all high and mighty. We both know you used to—”

“Used to what?”

Your voice was still sweet, still playful, but the underlying steel was there. And when you took a slow sip of your drink, watching him over the rim, it was clear you were letting him dig his own grave.

Before he could figure out how to claw his way out, a shadow loomed beside you.

Joe.

But not in the swooping, Oh no! My girl is in distress! way.

No, he was calm. Casual. Like he had all the time in the world. His presence alone was enough to shift the energy in the conversation, but you didn’t even acknowledge him yet. You wanted to see just how long it would take for the guy in front of you to realize he’d lost.

Turns out, not long.

Joe didn’t say anything, just leaned slightly against the bar, watching with mild interest. But the weight of his presence alone did something to your uninvited guest—made him shift uncomfortably, made his easy confidence crack just a little.

And that? That was satisfying.

“I was just catching up with your girl,” the Cowboy muttered, backtracking so fast you almost wanted to laugh.

Joe didn’t miss a beat. “Yeah?” He glanced at you, finally acknowledging you with a knowing smirk. “You having fun?”

You took another sip, grinning. “Oh, loads.”

The guy beside you tensed. “I was just—”

“Leaving?” you supplied helpfully.

His mouth opened. Closed. Then, without another word, he turned and disappeared into the crowd.

Joe chuckled, finally handing you the drink he had left to get. “You were having way too much fun with that.”

You shrugged, taking a sip. “Can you blame me?”

He shook his head, draping an arm lazily around your waist, pulling you in just slightly. “Guess not.”

And the night went on.

Just you and Joe. The hottest couple in the room.

#joe burrow #joe burrow bengals #joey b #joe burrow fan fic #joe burrow smut #joe burrow imagine #joe burrow x reader #nfl imagine #joe burrow x y/n #joe burrow x oc #joe burrow x you

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thyme-in-a-bubble · 3 days ago

Text

the black sheep

a/n: wrote this at five in the morning after i woke up from a nightmare ✌️

summary: “don’t,” a sharp breath filled your lungs as you shook your head and your eyes instantly squeezed shut, “don’t do that… don’t act like you care just because my father pays you. I know you’re no better than all of the others out there…”

warnings: soft!mob!bucky x mob boss daughter!reader, heavy angst, hurt/comfort, forbidden romance, age gap, sexual references, horrible and abusive family, bullying, mental illness (depression, anxiety, stress), references to being institutionalised at a terrible place against one's will, party, dancing, crying

word count: 1511

∼ gentle reminder that feedback, but especially reblogs are the way you support writers on here ∽

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The creak of a heavy pair of boots crossing over the threshold found your ears, though didn’t persuade your neck to twist around and see who had appeared in the doorway.

“Miss?” Bucky’s tone echoed quietly throughout the room as his metal hand continued to clutch the doorhandle he’d just twisted.

But instead of tearing your eyes away from the night sky that twinkled on the other side of the window, you instead continued to sit on the floor, the fancy dress you’d been forced into wrinkling around your legs, as you faintly began to murmur, “you know, I wanted to be an astronaut when I was little…” your eyes traced one of the constellations gleaming above, “it wasn’t because I had some fascination with space, but it was the one thing I could imagine that would take me as far away from here as possible…” a breath escaped you before your vision finally floated back down to earth and you glanced over your shoulder, “would you mind closing the door? It’s so loud out there…”

As you reunited your gaze to the world outside and you heard the door shut behind you, the mobster then carefully asked, “are you alright?”

“Don’t,” a sharp breath filled your lungs as you shook your head and your eyes instantly squeezed shut, “don’t do that… don’t act like you care just because my father pays you. I know you’re no better than all of the others out there…”

“I don’t know what you’re talking about,” he tried to conceal his painful awareness of your situation.

“I know what the others say behind my back,” you uttered, your mind haunted by their voices, playing the comments on a loop till they turned into boiling tar, “poor Y/n, weak and broken Y/n who is crazy and could never really be a part of this family… but unfortunately for everyone, I am,” you breathed, memories of your adolescence flooded your system, how they had sent you away to a broken institution at the smallest sign of vulnerability, “so I could never just leave. I couldn’t go out and earn my own money, they would cut off any attempt I made of getting a job in this city,” you pointed out their power, “and if I tried to get away, move to somewhere else, then they would have to take care of that as well because they can’t have a liability just out there. They own me, and they’ve made sure that I am nothing without them, and with them, I’d never be able to accomplish a goddamn thing. They wouldn’t hesitate to cut my life short if I ever stepped out of line again, you know that, it happened to my aunt… for all I know, it’ll probably happen as soon as my brother takes over, it is after all what everyone has surely wished for since the day I was born…”

As those last few venting words escaped your lips, a sinking feeling bloomed in your stomach as you realised those shattering truths hadn’t been contained in your thoughts alone.

“Oh shit…” tears began to blur your vision as you spun around and jaggedly rose to your feet, “please don’t tell anyone about any of that,” you took a panicked step forward, “I–… I didn’t mean any of it, it’s not–…” your chest rose and fell rapidly as you stared back at the gangster, “what do you want?” you attempted desperately, “do you want money? I could talk to my father and give you another leg up? I’ll give you whatever you want, just please don’t tell anyone, I–…”

An idea then struck through your terrified blubbering, and without giving it another thought, you dropped down to your knees before him.

“What are you doing?” he finally spoke, blinking down at you by his feet.

Wiping your cheek as a steady flow of tears rolled down them, you then reached out for Bucky’s belt and sniffled, “you can have me, if that’s what could buy your silence.”

But instead, your father’s right-hand man grabbed your hands, “stop,” he pleaded, “just stop.”

Blinking up into his eyes, your hazy vision then drifted down to his fingers enveloping your wrists before you gloomily concluded, “…right…of course… I get it,” your head bowed even further as you uttered, “why would you think of me any differently… of course, you wouldn’t want me to touch you, you probably think I’m cursed just like the rest of them do…”

But instead of ripping his touch away from your skin as if it was a scorching flame, Bucky’s frame suddenly lowered to be at your level, kneeling by you before he lifted one of your palms up to cup his stubbly cheek.

“I don’t,” a faint shake found his head, “never have,” you found yourself floating away into the ocean of his eyes as he stared back at you, his slow breath fanning across your wet cheeks at the close proximity, “I won’t tell anyone what you said,” he promised, his deep voice nearly at a whisper, “you have my word.”

But as you were filled with equal amounts of uncertainty, as well as shock, footsteps on the other side of the door found you both and tore you apart, just before the door ripped open and in strolled the boss himself.

“Barnes!” your father’s glare landed on the mobster first before it shifted to find you, hastily wiping your cheeks, “oh great, you found her,” he uttered impatiently, “darling, come, it’s time for your brother to cut the cake. You need to be there,” he swiftly waved a hand for you to shadow him.

The storm of the party made you feel as if you could come undone and burst into tears at any moment, pushing and shoving your shaky soul till you felt like just a tiny speck of dust floating around in the air. Keeping your gaze on the floor as you pushed through the bustling crowds, it stayed there as your sibling sank a shiny blade into the ridiculously elaborate cake that was rolled out for everyone to applaud.

Raw and bleeding while the others drank and laughed, your vision finally found enough courage to flicker up, though only to find those same blue eyes, across the room and locked upon you.

When the music soon was cranked up high and people swarmed to the middle of the floor in pairs, you briefly spotted one of your brother’s friends, a guy not too far from your own age, march straight towards you with an air of confidence that couldn’t help but relax your tense shoulders as you were slowly filled with hope.

But as he neared and a greeting fell from your lips, a confused look muddled up his features as he shot you a glance before grabbing the waiting hand of a girl standing in the crowd behind you.

Amused snickers and cruel comments found your ears even though you knew their tones attempted to be silent.

“What a freak.”

“Could you imagine if it had actually been her he’d wanted to dance with? In her dreams.”

“She should just run back to that insane asylum she somehow escaped from.”

With your back soon pressed up against one of the perimeter walls, a shadow then came to darken the spot on the floor your reddened eyes were glued to.

“You wanna dance?” you glanced up with a wide pair of eyes to spot Bucky settled in beside you.

“Why?” your brows knit together, “so that everyone can have another thing to laugh about?”

Holding out his palm, he then let out a sigh, “just take my hand,” and the next thing you knew, your fingers were tangled in his own.

Once he’d led you out onto the floor, your eyes darting around to all the bewildered glances that shot your way, a sudden breath then filled your lungs as his wide palm slid over your waist and dragged you in closer to his frame, causing your vision to cease their torture and meet his own steady gaze instead.

The sway was slow and intimate, though you weren’t sure if the sensation terrified or calmed you, as the intoxicating way he made you feel had previously been something you’d packed far away as just an inconsequential crush back when he’d first started working for your father. Though as he held you in his arms and showed you a rare display of compassion, how could your heart not begin to thump once more?

With your gaze hazily cast over his shoulder as you danced so near that your cheeks almost touched, the warmth of his hand then slid down to your lower back before he whispered in your ear, “I know it won’t fix anything, but if it was up to me, you’d be the one inheriting this whole business, not your brother,” he uttered sincerely under his breath, “he’s a hot-headed idiot, while you are stronger and more brilliant than all of these fools combined.”

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no-144444 · 2 days ago

Text

the trouble with racing- o.piastri

summary: a the first race of the season, oscar figures something out that could change his life forever.

pairing: oscar piastri x ex! single mom! fem! reader

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You had always loved going to races, especially to see Oscar win. Home races were a big deal, and against your better judgement, you allowed Max to drag you along. You hadn’t seen him in years, not since he left F2 and left you behind. No text, no calls, just a note saying he couldn't do it anymore. Couldn’t love you anymore. Max was your brother in law, he’d married your sister years ago, and you two had bonded over your shared love of racing, but he’d never understood why you wouldn’t go to a GP. He also didn’t get why you wouldn’t let your daughter anywhere near the sport, when she already loved it so much, but to each their own.

“Come on P,” you smiled, holding her hand and pulling her away from the gates of the paddock. All you had to do was get through the weekend. Just babysit Poppy and take care of Mia, and you’d be fine, right?

“Can we visit uncle Lando?” she asked and you grimaced.

“We’ll see, first we should put all our stuff in Redbull, yeah?” you smiled at her and she nodded, running on to catch up with Max as he walked through the paddock. Your sister, busy pregnant with her second child, had decided to stay home and not fly, thereby giving Max a reason to beg you to help him out and take care of P. You had reluctantly agreed, and that’s how you ended up in the McLaren Motorhome, chatting to Lando. You’d met him a few times before, just in passing with Max, or at P’s birthday parties. He was sweet.

“And how’s my favourite girl doing?” he asked, taking Mia out of your arms.

You chuckled, watching the exchange.

“Hi,” her meek little voice made Lando smile and laugh.

“Hi Mia,” he waved. “Do you want to have a look at my car?

She nodded.

“Do you want to sit in my car?”

She nodded vigorously.

“You don’t have to-” you started but he cut you off.

“It’s fine, mechanics are done with it anyways. Onward we go!” he giggled, and you followed behind the two with P beside you.

“I want to talk to Oscar!” P smiled.

“He’s in the garage, you can go say hi,” Lando informed her and she ran ahead, straight for the garage.

You felt your anxiety spike. He wouldn’t say anything, surely? He had nothing to say when he left. He should have nothing to say now.

Lando and Mia got on like two peas in a pod, and you took all the photos while he talked to her about the different parts of the steering wheel and how it all worked.

“Y/n?” Nicole’s voice brought you out of your bubble, and you felt yourself stiffen. “Is that you?”

You turned around to see her shocked face, Hattie, Eddie, Mae, and Tim all standing behind her, the same surprised look.

“Hi,” you smiled awkwardly. “How are you guys?”

“We’re good,” Nicole nodded, still trying to wrap her head around the fact that you were here. “H-How are you?”

“I’m good, thank you,” you nodded.

“W-What are you doing here?” she asked.

“Max Verstappen is my brother in law,” you explained. “He needed help with P-”

Just then, Poppy came bounding in, Oscar hot on her tail and wrapped her arms around your midriff. “Auntie Y/n, am I allowed to root for two teams?”

You smiled down at her, playing with her hair as she leant against you. “Of course, once one of them is Max.”

She looked at you, unamused. “Of course it is silly!”

You chuckled.

“Mom!” Mia giggled. “Look, I’m a racer!”

You turned back to Lando and Mia and saw her with her hands on the steering wheel, Lando dying of laughter as he took photos. You chuckled. “Well done baby.”

You turned back to see a horrified look on Oscar’s face, and the rest of his family looking at you surprised. “Well, it was nice to see you, but I’d better get back to Redbull,” you smiled before turning back to Lando. “Thank you Lan, she loves this stuff.”

He nodded, taking her out of the car and handing her to you. “See you later,” he called as you three left.

Fuck.

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The Piastri’s were stunned into a sort of shocked silence. Nicole was looking at her son, a million thoughts running through her head.

“Lando,” Oscar spoke up. “Who’s kid is that?”

“Mia?” he asked, his face hardened. “Y/n’s.”

“How old is she?” Nicole rushed out. “Is Y/n married? Does Mia have a dad-?”

“Mia’s four,” he answered, calm and calculated. “Y/n’s been single since she found out, and Mia does have a dad; Oscar.”

And Oscar’s world crumbled. He thought he was doing the best thing for you, getting you out of his insane life before it all got too crazy for you. He thought he was fixing things by leaving you behind. But all this time, he could’ve been a dad. He could’ve been there for you, while you were pregnant, while you were exhausted with a newborn, while you were alone. There hadn’t been a day that had gone by where he didn’t think about you, and wished you were still there with him, but it was his choice, and he made it. He started at the floor, trying to process it all. That kid was half him, half you. Mia. That was the name you’d both decided on if you ever got pregnant and it was a girl. You still had him in mind when you were naming her.

“Oscar,” Lando’s voice was low. “Y/n has spend four fucking years without you, because that’s what you wanted. You wanted her to leave, so she left. She’s happy, after being very unhappy for a really long time. Do not fuck this up for her. Yes, you have a right to your child, but just think about the fact that she’s been doing fine without you for four years.”

“I-I… Can I talk to her?” he asked no one in particular. “I never knew.”

“You blocked her on everything, how was she supposed to tell you?” Lando scolded.

“Quali starts in 15 minutes,” Nicole interjected. “I’ll go speak to her.”

“No,” Oscar sighed. “I’ll talk to her after. Let me sort this out, alright?”

She nodded.

୨ৎ⋅୨ৎ⋅

Pole position didn’t taste as good as he wanted it to, especially when it also meant he had about 2 extra hours of interviews. He just wanted to see you. He just wanted to talk to you. He wanted to see Mia.

He rushed to the RedBull garage, searching high and low for you until he ran into Max.

“Hey mate,” Max smiled. “Alright?”

“Where’s Y/n?” he asked, frantic.

“My sister in law?” he questioned and Oscar nodded. “She went back to the hotel.”

“Which hotel?”

“I’ll drive with you, come on,” Max offered and Oscar took it. “Why do you need her?”

“I just… we have to talk about some things,” Oscar explained as they sat in the back of a car, driving towards the hotel. “We went to school together.”

“No way!” Max chuckled, not getting the fact that Oscar was seriously stressed and nervous. “That’s so fun, she dated a guy called Oscar for like five years and they met in high school,” Max’s head suddenly swivelled to meet Oscar’s eyes. “That wasn’t you, was it?”

“No,” Oscar lied. “No, we were just friends.”

“Good, whoever that Oscar is, is the one that left her high and dry when she got pregnant,” he scoffed. “Dickhead.”

That didn’t exactly help the pit of guilt in Oscar’s stomach, but he nodded along anyway.

The rest of the car journey was easy, both of them just chatting about the race tomorrow. When they got to the hotel, Max told him your room number, and Oscar was shooting off towards it. He stood in the elevator, it was a surreal feeling to find out that you had a kid, and he was also about to see the love of his life for the second time in four years.

He knocked on the door, and herald giggles from Mia, and his heart swelled. You opened the door a crack and smiled in his general direction, but then you realised it was him, grabbed a keycard and came out, closing the door behind you.

“What are you doing here?” you asked.

“I wanted to talk to you,” he admitted. “I never knew-”

“I know and I’m sorry- I didn’t want to just… spring it on you like this but I knew you’d have to find out eventually- only Lando knows you’re her dad, and I wanted to tell you, I-I just… It never felt like the right time-”

“I’m her dad?” he questioned, his eyes filling with tears. You nodded, crossing your arms. “All this time and I could've been a dad?”

“I wanted to tell you, I swear, I just didn’t want you to think I was trying to baby trap you or anything, so I let it be and I just got more and more anxious about it, so I just stopped coming to GPs. I know this is a lot and I’m sorry-” you felt yourself tearing up. You knew Oscar wanted to be dad more than anything at all, but you were terrified. He’d broken up with you using a note.

He wrapped his arms around you, shaking his head. “I’m sorry. I don’t know why you’re apologising. I’m the asshole. I should’ve been here, and I’m so sorry I wasn’t. I love you-”

“Osc-”

“No, I do. I only broke up with you because Zak told me ‘no distractions or realtionships’ and even then I couldn’t break up with you in person, I had to do it with a fucking note. I’ve loved you since we met in school, and I’m sorry that I let you go through this alone. If you’ll let me, I want to be in her life, and maybe yours too.”

Your features eased gently, but he knew what it meant. He knew you like the back of his hand, still. “I’m not sure about my life, but you do have a daughter who definitely would love a dad like you.”

“An F1 driver?” he questioned.

“No,” you chuckled. “A good person, come on,” you ushered him in, revealing Mia on the bed in her pyjamas, freshly bathed as she read a book. “Mia,” you spoke gently. “There’s someone I’d like you to meet-”

“Oscar Piastri!�� she cheered. “Pole position!”

He chuckled and looked at you quizzically, as you smiled.

“She got the racing bug from you,” you smiled at her, your voice low so she couldn’t hear. He beamed with pride.

“Is she into karting?” he asked and you rolled your eyes.

“Only three days a week,” you sighed. “She loves it, as much as you did.”

He nodded. “Hi Mia, what book have you got there?”

“The ABC’s of racing,” she explained.

“Do you mind if I read it to you tonight instead of your mom?” he offered and she nodded, beaming with excitement.

He looked at you with a hopeful smile and you nodded, giving him the go-ahead. As you watched him sit beside her in bed, reading to her until she fell asleep against him, as much as your heart was full, you couldn’t escape that unmistakable dread that bubbled in your stomach. Oscar could leave again, you'd just be heartbroken. You had to be smart about this, not let him near you, just let him be a dad to Mia.

You could do that, right?

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seosracha · 2 days ago

Text

⸻ SAINT MATTHEW'S ACADEMY II

SYNOPSIS ⸻ heeseung feels helpless as you continue to deny him love, and give it to the one person he can't come to accept- park sunghoon.

PAIRING ⸻ sunghoon x fem!reader x heeseung

GENRE ⸻ rich kids au, smut, fluff, angst

TAGS ⸻ love triangle, cursing, foul language, underage drinking, degrading names, smoking, mentions of doing c0ke, partying, gaslighting, religious themes, obsessive behavior/thoughts, unrequited love, fighting (verbally), mention of physical abuse and blood, desperate sunghoon :D, making out, penetration, unprotected sex,

WORDCOUNT ⸻ 15.2k

PART ONE

MDNI. This is a work is meant for entertainment purposes only. References to products and brands are imaginary and not meant to deprecate their image.

You close your eyes, repeating the words, painting the scene and your back in that room. Those words spoken with so much collapsed indifference by a person that didn’t care to see or talk to you again. There was no point in burdening your memory with the idea of him, the idea of a Lee Heeseung that in this universe, didn’t quite exist.

Yes- he carried his father’s surname, his name Heeseung- meaning bright and successful. Those were the things that would never change, the things he could never replace or hide. He would always and forever be remembered as Lee Heeseung, son of the hotel giants, and brother of Lee Haejun, the family heir.

For all his miserable and lonely life he struggled to create a name for himself. For all the 19 years he managed to wrestle with life, the fate stayed the same. He wanted his parents to think of him in any way, even if it was bad, even if it meant he’d be a failure in their eyes. He craved to be something more, something beyond the body he was born in.

Winter wasn’t his favourite season. He hated wearing a puffer jacket, long socks and heavy boots. He hated the additional weight of all these things with the already pre existing heaviness of his being itself.

You liked winter- he knew that. He knew how happy it made you to catch a snowflake that’d melt away within seconds of meeting your warm hand. Heeseung also knew he probably ruined it for you on that night- 22 of December, the day that welcomed winter.

He hasn’t really spoken to his friends since that night- his phone’s been on silent mode and his house, abandoned by him for now. Usually he’d enjoy this, maybe even have a friend join him, but this winter break, the vacation felt insufferable.

Warm Sydney, Australia, the colour of the inside of his hand almost as light and soft as the skin of his neck and the underside of his forearms, which were rarely exposed to the sun. He remembers how 2 years ago, just a month or two later he was here with Sunghoon, lounging around and sleeping off the scorching heat until one of them finally suggested they should go to the rocks to swim.

Well this year, he couldn’t quite find himself leaving the white sheets. Heeseung had left so many things unsolved back home, and he feared that by the time he’s back- it’d be too late. He’d leave the air conditioner blasting all day and night, his thoughts running off to all the things he did wrong.

Maybe he shouldn’t have told you, maybe he shouldn’t have asked his friend for help, maybe he should’ve just left you alone. But how could he- it was stronger than him.

While the summer in Australia left an unquenchable thirst for more, winter in his hometown was as quiet as ever.

The inexplicable animosity hung heavy in the air as you, and everyone else went about their life, trying to forget yesterday, and live with the thought of tomorrow.

You spent most of your days alone. Sometimes, Jake would drop by. Or Jay. It depended on who made an excuse that day.

In the midst of a fiery conflict, you found comfort in them. The same people who encouraged behaviour that led you here. It was all broken anyway, so was there really a point in finding the lesser evil?

Neither of them have spoken to the two boys. Maybe they didn’t want to take sides or maybe, just maybe all of them were waiting for the right moment to end this. This wasn’t friendship, not in the slightest. It was jealousy and competition.

Trying not to think about it came out to be much easier. Only the countless texts reminded you. The unanswered calls, disconnected lines and unspoken words.

No more words, you said no more words after his confession. You stayed silent, and that pain flooded you today. The silence stayed with you. Every night you’d spend on a phone call with him, laughing because no matter how hard you begged him, he wouldn’t hang up first, was now filled with heavy breaths and drowning darkness.

Sunghoon hadn’t gone anywhere this winter. He was supposed to- the first class tickets to Sri Lanka already booked by his mother. When she knocked on his door, 12 hours before they were supposed to leave, he told her he'd fallen ill. Very ill.

Before Heeseung blocked his number, he sent him a short message. Sunghoon sat in a cold corner on the white bathroom tiles, reading the message. It was enough to let him know that it was over. And even though the unyielding pain in his stomach grew stronger, a small smile twitched at the corner of his bloody lips. He tried to reply, but the text went green.

When Heeseung first asked him for that favour, he assumed it was just another sick way for him to assert his dominance over you. Another way to make sure you knew Heeseung created what you are today, and no matter what, you’ll always have a piece of him. Sunghoon never thought the boy would tell you the truth in the end.

Two days before New Years Eve, Jake texted you.

“Is your brother home?”

He also attached a photo, indicating that he was already in the area.

“No”

The simple reply quickly sent through, and without even checking for another response you flip the phone over.

Each sound, each notification, you hoped it was from one of them. Heeseung never turned off his location sharing, so you already knew he wasn't around. Sunghoon, well, you had no idea.

You didn't really know anything about him. How he went about his day, before and after school or on vacation or just on a simple Saturday. You didn't know his favorite color, his favorite food or his favorite song.

It was never easy to talk to him- he didn't share much or make space for new people in his life. You rarely saw him enjoy things or even crack a smile at the jokes his friends made. That’s exactly what made it hard to figure out if he really meant the things he said and did.

Your doorbell rings. You turn your phone and see another message from Jake, indicating he’s here. It didn't take him longer than 5 minutes to get here.

“Hey” you scratch the back of your head, welcoming him in. He’s not awkward in the slightest, kissing your cheek as he enters.

Jake hasn't been the same since. You can’t quite remember if he’s always been like this or did his friendship with the boys actually influence him that badly.

Something you always noticed about Jake is how easily influenced he really was. It took one word, one word and he’d be at Heeseung’s feet just waiting to do whatever the boy wanted. He tried so hard to impress them, he fell through with everything in his life- his grades faltered, his relationship with his parents started to rot, and his self respect declined with every passing day. He ruined himself for them.

Jay wasn’t like that. He never really listened to Heeseung in the first place. And Heeseung realized that pretty quickly. They weren’t particularly close either. Jay had legions of friends outside of school. He didn’t need Heeseung, Sunghoon or Jake but in a way, they needed him. He stuck around because loneliness wasn’t a good look on him, and his peers at school, well, they weren’t quite fond of him.

“I brought wine” he announces and hands you the bottle of red wine that’s gotten quite cold by now.

“You know I don’t drink” you look away from the label, now focusing on the boy who’s fixing his hair in the mirror. He doesn’t seem to register what you said as a piece of his brown hair keeps falling onto his forehead.

He wiggles out of his leather jacket, hanging it on the clothing rack before taking the wine back into his hands “It’s only 12%. You won’t feel it” he ultimately replies.

He wanders off into the kitchen while you sit down on the grey couch. Jake doesn’t really ask, he never does. It doesn’t bother you, not as much as it used to at least. He searches your cabinets looking for wine glasses which after a short moment, can’t be found in any of them. He settles down for something less extravagant.

You wouldn’t even dare inviting any of them just a couple months back. You were embarrassed, their houses the size of your whole street. A lot of things have changed since then.

"Jungwon is hosting for New Years” he started, handing the glass to you. He sat down, his body facing you “Do you want to come?”

Yang Jungwon was in your grade. His father was a software engineer who developed his own app but also helped countless companies start theirs. Jungwon was the one who helped Jay start his long abandoned website. He always watched his father doing big things, he wanted that too. His mother was a divorce attorney, specializing in family law, charging around $500 per hour. She was the go-to of every miserable wife and all the tired husbands. Jungwon was a pretty normal boy- he grew up with two loving parents that got lucky enough in life to spoil him from the moment he was born.

“Who else is coming?” you ask, and he shrugs, gulping down almost half of his glass.

You look down at yours, uninterested. But before he manages to reply, you copy his action. It doesn't taste good.

“Probably the same people as always” he leans his head on his hand looking over at you “But from the people you’ll know, uh, Niki and Wonyoung are going to be there for sure. Sunoo probably has nothing better to do and Jay already told me he’s coming” Jake added after a moment and you nodded understandingly.

“Niki and Wonyoung, huh?” you laugh mockingly, downing the other half of your drink. You wonder how in the world this could be a pleasure to middle aged women “Sunoo told me she went over to Sunghoon’s house two days ago”

“Jealous?” Jake laughs and you raise your eyebrows.

“No” he repeats your action and you can tell that he doesn't really buy it. Neither do you. “I’m not jealous, Jake. They can do whatever they want”

His lips turn into a downwards smile “Sure, sure” he nods, and you playfully kick his leg. He winces at the action in a joking manner, before continuing “Heeseung and Sunghoon might be there too. So if you don't feel comfortable with that, you don't have to go. But me and Jay want you to be there” his tone softens.

How would it end up this time? Which one of them would say something this time? Do something this time? Or would they ignore you, just like they are now.

All you wanted was an answer. Nothing more, nothing less. You could even go by without a ‘sorry’.

“I don’t care. I’d have to face them at school anyways” you answer with a straight smile.

“Didn’t you hear?” he asks, painting your face with confusion at the statement. You shake your head, and he sits up straight “Karina’s parents are close with Heeseung’s, and she’s been saying some about him changing school’s mid February”

You are even more confused now. It didn’t make sense. Where would he go? It’s probably just a rumor.

“But you guys are graduating this year. That can’t be right” he shrugs, just as curious and confused as you.

“Yeah, I doubt it” you nod with a small sigh, looking outside the window.

The sun set so much quicker in winter. You barely got to enjoy the day before darkness settled. It was setting pink today.

“I’ll go with you guys. On New Years. Just, pick me up if you can” you say and he nods with a small smile.

______

On that same day, Heeseung landed back in town. His father asked him to come back in time for the New Years event he was hosting, once again.

“What a fabulous suit, truly!” a middle aged woman comments, amused. She has a wide, bright smile on her face as she eyes Haejun “Let me guess, Canali?” she coos, a smirk creeping at the corner of her lips.

Heeseung’s brother chuckles, the forced elegance lacing his fake smile “Both the suit and overcoat. It’s nothing special though” he smiles, and soothes down the cashmere mantle.

Lee Haejun runs a hand through his dark, silky hair, his posture relaxed in a ‘cool’ way.

Heeseung thinks it’s pretty humorous, the way Haejun is flirting with a 40 year old woman, whose hair is visibly turning gray. Her husband is probably somewhere in this crowd, trying to get closer to his father, just like all the other men who were lucky enough to even be invited.

The lady has been ogling his brother for the past 5 minutes, not even noticing Heeseung who stood right next to him.

He scoffs.

“Oh, Heeseung. I didn’t notice you” she smiles faintly, but her eyes don’t even linger on him for a second longer, already back in conversation with Haejun “Oh and this scarf! Haejun, you have such phenomenal taste!” she celebrates him again, and he just chuckles at her excitement.

Heeseung doesn't feel like standing there, looking like a fucking idiot that’s just waiting to get complimented on his Saint Laurent overcoat that quite frankly, was more expensive than Haejun’s.

He doesn’t feel like being here at all.

He thinks about everything; how these annual New Year’s dinners have ruined the holiday for him all together, how the man at the table in front of him has a giant bald spot on his head, how the hardbody on his right has pretty fuckable tits even though she’s probably in her mid 40s, how his mother is obviously having an affair with the hotels revenue manager, and most importantly, about you.

He hasn’t felt anything since that unlucky Sunday night. It was suffocating, to be so conscious of his own decisions. But just like he’d been a coward that time, he still was too afraid to reach out and apologize.

Maybe soon enough he’d find himself at your front porch, knocking on the door softly, a nice gift in hand, the smile you adore plastered all over his condescending face.

That’s how it usually worked in his life; even the worst of heartbreaks and fights could be resolved with a pretty bag, new sports car or nice jewelry. That’d work on you too, wouldn’t it? He’d ask one of the maids that looked after his home to pick out something she’d like to recieve, and you’d probably be satisfied with that, maybe even suck him off later.

Seeing you with Sunghoon enlightened something deep in his soul, something he’d never admit to himself. Heeseung didn't know if it was Sunghoon he was jealous of or you.

Sunghoon had experienced love in many forms throughout his life. A gentle and mannerly boy cherished by the women in his life. His kind, youthful energy seemed effortless—something completely out of reach for someone as weathered and unsteady as Lee Heeseung.

You loved him, he already knew that much. So why was it so hard for him to give that back to you, show you that he feels the same?

He was such a selfish person-he didn't want to see you surviving on your own, or not needing him just as much as he needs you.

Heeseung understood he could never give you the love you deserved. Yet, the idea of being replaced by Sunghoon was something he refused to accept.

His eyes wander across the dimly lit space, desperately looking for someone who could give him a reason to leave his table. But he couldn’t stand any of them. He hated their fake pleasantries, their overblown gestures, and the emptiness behind their eyes.

They weren’t here to celebrate the passing year, spread joy and excitement for the coming days.

All these lost, desperate people were here, hoping, praying to God that maybe this is the day his father notices them, gives them a chance to become as wealthy and glorious as him.

“I was thinking about Oxford, possibly this upcoming September” he picks up on Haejun’s words and if not for the people and photographers that seemed to be on every possible side, he would’ve punched the shit out of his brother.

Oxford, Harvard, Princeton, who gave a fuck?

He sighs again but this time neither Haejun or the lady in front of him pick up on his mannerisms.

He feels a sudden tap on his shoulder, the feeling making him jump back a bit.He groans under his breath, the sound inaudible for the one behind him, and turns around slowly.

He didn't expect to see Park Sunghoon here.

…

“They don’t have a nice bathroom to do coke in” Heeseung shrugs, nibbling at his bottom lip as Sunghoon breathes out a laugh at his inquiry.

He looks around the tiled, black bathroom, which is surprisingly empty. The light above the sink flickers in a weird way, and Heeseung wonders if it’s supposed to be like that.

“We don’t do that anymore” Sunghoon mutters, leaning against the cold, slippery surface of the wall, his head slightly slumped.

He looks up at Heeseung, his reflection much more familiar in the mirror. They are much closer than he thinks, the same worn out expression all over their faces.

“Yeah… Guess those days are over” he smiles weakly, although the growing pit in his stomach makes him feel uneasy.

He’s avoiding the topic, throwing random words in the air as his heart speeds up. Sunghoon’s avoiding it too. The words linger on their tongues but it feels like they're stuck. He can’t stomach starting a serious topic with his friend who's never been there for him in an emotional way.

“I remember that party so vividly” Heeseung chuckles lightly, watching Sunghoon intently through the mirror. The boy is avoiding eye contact.

“When Jay took a line and we thought we’d lost him, huh? I remember, yeah” he forces a smile although the memory is definitely not a sweet one.

Heeseung chuckles softly, his thoughts drifting to when they were actually good friends to each other. It wasn’t even that long ago, but so much has happened since that Heeseung almost forgot those times.

He felt it with you again. In a way you brought that comfort back to him with your soft spoken voice and tender smile. But with you, he was on the brink of inescapable change. Heeseung knew that everyday he was teetering closer to the end.

He looks back up at Sunghoon, and although his vision is slightly blurred, he notices that the wounds are completely healed now. The only tangible evidence of that night is now gone.

“Did it leave a scar?” he asks, his voice cracking. He clears his throat, turning to face Sunghoon, who touches the corner of his lip softly.

He shakes his head “No”. His tone is stony. He suddenly reminds himself to garbage the white button up in his wardrobe.

“That’s good” Heeseung hums and the silence overcomes them again. It’s uncomfortable and the awkwardness between them bears so much unfamiliarity. It’s such a foreign experience.

The tension grows thicker as Sunghoon speaks up “You know we can’t avoid it, right?”

Heeseung feels a bead of sweat trickle down his spine as he ponders the suggestion. What could he possibly say to make it better, to make it disappear? He nods and meets Sunghoon’s unrelenting expression.

“I don’t really think we could ever be friends again” Sunghoon says, his lip twitching slightly as the words finally roll off his tongue, the admission much more painful than he thought it’d be “Not when we both want the same thing”

“What?” The words sink into his bones, his flesh shivering as he searches for at least an ounce of discomfort on Sunghoon’s face.

“No matter what you told me that night, no matter how much you begged me to tell her because you didn't want to know how she’ll react, I know you feel it too. You said you didn't care, but you do, Heeseung. I care too” he explains, his voice stable. It’s almost as if he’s rehearsed this.

It came to him during that long awaited shower. As the water came over him, so did the realization.

“If you like it or not, I will keep on trying even if it doesn't work out. But either way, I think this is where it ends between us. I don’t want to be stuck on the idea that it could ever be the same” the air felt heavier with the tension that separated them.

The weight of his words hung heavy in the air. Heeseung never thought it’d come to this.

“You like her, right? It wasn't something to make her feel better..?” he asked, glossing over the fact that this exact spot set the end of their friendship.

Glossing over the fact that the relationship between you and him complicated his whole life. Yet a part of him still yearned for you.

“I’m not like you, Heeseung. I don’t tell girls I like them to make them feel better” he chuckled lowly as Heeseung's expression darkened, taking offense to his words.

Heeseung scoffed, not quite enjoying the cutting reminder of his bad habits.

“Do as you please, I don’t give a fuck. But I also don’t plan on making it easy for you. I don't give up what’s mine just like that” Heeseung’s words carry a playful edge, but there’s an undercurrent of expectation, a reminder of the shared history and intimacy.

Sunghoon turns his head to the side, a stubby chuckle slipping past his parted lips. His gaze falls onto Heeseung after a moment, the boy leaning against the counter with an indifferent expression.

“What, do you think she forgot? You think a couple racks can erase what you did? Bet you're not the one she calls everyday” a smirk tugs at the corner of his lips, as he looks at Heeseung’s changing face.

“You think that just because I wasn't here I don’t know what goes on? She couldn't give two fucks about you. You don’t intimidate me, Sunghoon” he retorts, his eyes dark as he pushes himself off the sink and shortens the distance between him and Sunghoon “Couldn’t even get past her underwear, fucking pussy” he whispers.

He nudges Sunghoon’s shoulder during his exit, scoffing angrily as he slams the door shut, leaving his once best-friend alone with the afterthought of his words.

Sunghoon doesn't regret it. He feels good. He feels the weight drop from his heart, his blood flowing calmly as his eyebrows don’t furrow in annoyance anymore.

He watches the door for a moment before turning to the mirror, adjusting his jacket and hair, smiling as he takes in his reflection.

_____

On New Year's Eve a car parks in your driveway. Your brother wasn’t home, and by the looks of it, he wasn't going to be any time soon.

You don’t really remember the last time you sat down for a meal with Eunseok. You couldn't blame him though. Your parents always repeated that saving another human's life will always be more important than spending time with family. Your brother would always stay your brother even if you started to forget the sound of his voice.

Jay enters your house first. You can notice Jake sinking his head into the trunk, looking for something.

The last time Jay was here his hair was still blond. He seems to have gotten a new haircut and dyed it back to black. He looked much softer now.

“Back to black?” you smile and reach out to grab his coat. It feels illegal to hold and hang his black Prada corduroy jacket. It looked so out of place next to your own coats that were all bought at basic chain stores at the mall.

“You like it?” he asks, quickly turning his head to check on Jake. Jay’s gaze falls back onto you, a soft glimmer in his eyes.

He changed. He wasn't the same misogynistic narcissist that you were initially introduced to. He became much kinder- a person you actually found yourself getting along with.

Jay came home extremely drunk on the 22nd of December. Screw walking a straight line when the boy couldn't even walk at all. Just like it had been unlucky for his friends, he too was met with his demise as his father sat in the living room with a girl Jay didn't recognize.

Probably his new girlfriend.

He was furious. He went through Jay’s phone that night- every photo of his son with girls in more or less intimate situations, every message between Jay and his dealers, every single bank transaction at the liquor store. He saw it all that night.

One word too much on Jay’s behalf, and suddenly, there’s a stinging pain on his left cheek. And before he can react, his father slaps him again. And again, harder than the last.

He saw himself in his son for the first time. He realized what he had done to his own, precious child. The look in his eyes, pure fear and disgust. They weren't much different after all.

“Yeah, it’s nice. You look good” you nod with a straight smile, and he looks a bit embarrassed at the compliment.

Jake finally runs into the home, a smile on his face. Without saying a word, you nod your head towards the now closed trunk.

“We thought the bottles shattered” he explained and you looked over at Jay, confused.

“I thought you were done with drinking” you asked, and he grinned sheepishly.

“Today is the last time, I promise. New year, new me, let’s say”

They walked around your home, visiting every room, every bathroom, checking every picture. You couldn't care less, focusing on getting yourself ready.

“You used to be emo?” Jake laughs, walking back to your room. You roll your eyes at him, knowing exactly what picture he was talking about.

“Your brother is really hot,” Jay says, leaning his hands against the backrest of your chair. He looks at himself and you through the mirror “You look hot too” he adds with a sly smirk.

Your only reply is a smile, not being the best at receiving compliments. His eyes stay on you for a little longer than they should.

“Jungwon just texted me,” Jake announces, his body turning in your fresh sheets. His dirty shoes have left marks on the white fabric, but he doesn't seem to notice. “Heeseung just arrived. He’s with fuckass Seora” he laughs along with Jay, while you try to process his statement.

It didn’t take him long to find your replacement. You remember the girl, having been paired up with her for a science project at the beginning of the semester. She was so beautiful.

“That fucking nerd? What’s wrong with him” Jay comments, and you realize how you too were once like Seora. Heeseung hasn't changed, not at all.

Jake’s phone rings, his eyes darting to the screen. He excuses himself, the call seemingly important as he leaves the room swiftly.

You are left alone with Jay who mindlessly scrolls through his Instagram homepage, liking and commenting on his friends posts.

“Can you help me?” you ask, and his reaction to your voice is almost immediate. He sets his phone aside, his full attention once again falling onto you. A hint of concern flashes over his eyes as your expression seems troubled.

“Mhm?” he hums, walking over to your figure.

“Can you zip this up for me?” you ask, turning around.

He stays silent for a moment, before brushing his fingers against the bare skin of your back, grasping at the slippery zipper. He carefully brings the fabric together, taking care not to pull too tight or snag the delicate material.

He steps back, looking at you, smiling warmly “There”

Whenever his sister would ask him, he’d flip her off and tell her to leave his room.

Jay’s eyes take in your figure, the way he’s never really gotten to see your nice body under all the baggy clothes you’d wear. It feels wrong to think about you like this, but it’s not like this is the first time either.

He may have changed, even in the slightest, but there was always that one person who was too late.

…

Shot after shot of vodka find themselves appearing in your hand as you down each one with a twisted expression. The people around you seem much more cheerful than you, and you wonder how long it’ll take for this alcohol to finally start doing its thing.

You turn to Jake, who’s been gripping your hand tightly, at least that’s what you thought. Instead of a smiley Jake, it’s Kim Sunoo who has been apparently keeping you safe. That would be all for ‘we want you to be there’.

“Going already?” Sunoo perks up, loosening his grip on you as he sees you trying to squeeze through the crowd.

“I just need some fresh air” you offer him a small smile “I’ll be back”

It’s 10:37. Only an hour and 23 minutes until midnight. By that time, half the guests won’t even be awake to witness it. You wonder what fireworks look like on this side of town.

Jungwon’s house isn’t that hard to navigate. It was big, but you imagined bigger. It’s mid-sized, maybe. You note how his parents have good taste- the mediterranean estate very much to your liking.

You find yourself on one of his acacia armchairs in the backyard terrace. Most people are inside. It wasn’t the warmest day.

There’s no wind today, not even snow. The temperature hasn't dropped below zero celsius this season. You really wanted the snow to fall soon.

You can tell from the corner of your eye that someone has accompanied you on the chair next to yours. You assume it’s someone just as tired as you, someone who's just counting down the minutes until midnight so they can get out of here.

Maybe it’s Jake. But you swore you saw him hitting up some girls on your way out.

“Want one?” you almost don’t recognize the voice. It’s been so long.

The person extends a pack of cigarettes in your direction, and that’s when you decide to face them.

You haven't spoken to Nishimura Riki in a long time. He doesn't even look the same. But it’s only been 4 months?

“I don’t smoke” you reply, and he nods, lighting the stick in his mouth, protecting the flame with the palm of his hand.

He hisses, exhaling the smoke. It blows in your direction, and you scrunch your nose at the smell.

“Where’s your sweet boy, Heeseung?” he asks, his tone mocking. You roll your eyes, exhaling deeply.

He laughs at your silence, but still waits for you to respond, taking another puff.

“We don’t talk anymore” you could lie but honestly, it seemed meaningless now. It didn't matter what you’d say, things wouldn't change.

“Lasted the longest. Can’t say I’m not impressed” he replied with a chuckle. Only God knew how much you wanted to slap the boy next to you right now.

“Fuck off, Niki” you groan, and he puts up his hands, laughing. He’s slightly taken aback by your candidness- he didn't meet this version of you.

Niki remembers you as the sweet, innocent and most certainly lost girl that had no idea what she was getting herself into. Now it seemed as if Heeseung had drained all that life out of you.

“I’m not here to make fun of you” there’s a hint of amusement dancing in his eyes as he still gauge's your reaction to his jab.

You hum, unamused “Sure”

He sighs, trying to hide the annoyance caused by your stubbornness. Niki throws what's left of his cigarette on the ground, crushing it with his shoe. Rick Owens, you note.

“I know you and Wony aren’t on the best terms but she cares about you. I do to” his tone softens “I just want you to live on your own now. Don’t let him take over your life again”

Niki follows all the patterns the stars are forming with his eyes, while you notice the sincerity in his face. Today the moon is barely visible. There was a New Moon yesterday, so tonight, not even 3% of the orb is visible.

“Why are you telling me this?” you ask, and he shrugs.

The air seems to vibrate with unspoken tension. Niki stays silent for a moment, because he doesn't really know if he has an answer.

He shouldn't care. He doesn't know you, and you don't know anything about him either. Jesus, if Wonyoung saw him here, he’d be on probation until February. But he saw this happen countless times and every single one stung just as bad.

“I don’t know. I guess I wanted you to know” he finally answers, a genuine glimmer in his eyes as they fall on yours for just a second.

You can’t muster up a smile. It’d be too forced anyway. You hope that the nod is enough for him to understand that you do in fact appreciate his words.

He doesn't say anything and neither do you. It’s mostly noiseless, apart from the faintest melody that flows through the cracks in the window. The only people out here with you are either smoking themselves or talking to someone on the phone.

You hadn't really told anyone what happened. Of course, you could probably tell Niki, he wouldn't forward it to Wonyoung or anyone else. You could call the boy many names, some better than others, but you knew you couldn't call him untrustworthy. He always kept his word, no matter what.

But you bite back your tongue.

“Nice chat, huh? Can I steal her for a moment?”

Lee Heeseung.

You’d be lying if you said you didn't want to see him tonight. You weren't wondering if you’d see him, rather when and how. He couldn't run away from talking to you, and well, it appears that he didn't want to anyway.

With what feeling would you look back on this moment? With sadness? With shame? Indifference, you hoped.

Would you regret it? Because maybe some things are better left unsolved, right? Sometimes it’s okay to not have an answer. You’ve already learned that firsthand.

It was too late, Niki already letting the older boy replace him on the armchair, his face filled with remorse, maybe even guilt as he walked back into the house. He only hoped that you were smarter this time.

You turned your gaze away, because he was looking at you, and it obviously flustered you. He saw your expression, and even though your face twisted in annoyance, you still wanted him to look at you.

It wasn’t him you hated, but what the two of you did.

The secret was forever meant to stay between the two of you. And as long as that’s true, it's always casting a shadow over everything good in you.

“How was Australia? Did you have fun?” you sounded unimpressed, and he noticed.

Heeseung felt oddly embarrassed to be here with you. He left you with no explanation, and yet you're still asking how his vacation was. Honest or not, he feels like half the man he was before.

“How did you know?” he asks, a glint of playfulness in his voice.

“You still share your location with me” you stated, and he nodded. He knew. You were the only person he shared it with in the first place.

“You check my location?” he chuckles, trying to alleviate the charged atmosphere. His attempts brought no fruit as your expression stayed the same- cold and uninterested.

“No” he can’t figure out what to say next. It used to be so easy to talk to you.

But you were the same when he first met you- stand-offish and unwilling. It won’t take him long to figure the right words out, he’s sure of it.

Heeseung doesn't know why he’s trying this hard. Maybe it’s because now he knows his friend wants it just as much. In what universe did Park Sunghoon have something Heeseung didn’t? Not in this one, and the latter was continuously making sure of it.

“Can we talk about us?” he finally speaks up after the prolonged moment of uncomfortable silence. He doesn't really know what ‘us’ was. Definitely not a relationship. He doesn't do that, never has. He just prays that you actually had something smart to say.

“Us?” you bark back a laugh, and he leans against the beige pillow with a sigh.

Heeseung had been willingly ignoring the messages he saw you sending. He could always disguise that as not wanting to talk about it over text. But in reality, he didn't want to talk about it at all. He just hoped that a ‘sorry’ would be enough.

“You know what I mean. Don’t be stupid” his voice is laced with a twinge of irritation. He didn't expect it to take this long for you to break.

“What the fuck are you even talking about, Heeseung?” you turn to face him fully now.

His hair is no longer dark red. It’s brown, almost black. And he has a completely different haircut. It compliments his tan skin. He’s also dressed differently. You can’t quite recall seeing him like this.

“Seriously, what do you want to talk about? It wasn’t real, not to you at least. So please, tell me what exactly it is that you want to talk about” his expression is a mix of annoyance and anger now. His jaw clenches as his eyes narrow. You surely allowed yourself to say too much, didn’t you?

“Careful, Y/n. Watch your tone” he laughs menacingly, standing up from his seat. His hands grip the sides of your chair, as he stares down at you, his face too close for comfort.

“Downplay what we had, and what’s still between us all you want. But you know it’s real. You might be wiser now, but you haven’t really changed. You still want it just as much” his expression darkens, a defensiveness to his voice.

All he did was see the potential in you, the spark hidden beneath your innocent surface. He fed that fire, helped it grow until it burned through them both. Heeseung taught you to be a woman. He didn't wrong you, he helped you.

Leaning in, he nuzzles your neck, his breath hot on your skin “So how about you quit acting all tough and just let me have you again, yeah?”

He no longer knew how to control himself. No one did.

When he was younger he believed in God. Even when he started at Saint Matthew’s, he considered himself religious. Maybe he liked it because it made his nights just a little less lonely, or maybe because it filled him with a sense of identity. He knew that no matter what, there’s always that one person, an otherworldly figure that will love him endlessly, have control over him.

And when he felt himself drift away from his faith, it became a saga of bad decisions after bad decisions. Not because he stopped believing, but because there was no longer anyone to control him.

“You must be out of your fucking mind if you think I’d do that” your lips are parted as he continues to brush his past your neck, jawline and mouth.

“Keep talking to me like that and you’ll regret it” he whispers with a sinful grin, his fingers reaching up to caress your cheek “Let’s just forget about what happened. You know I meant what I said”

“That you love me?” you laugh, and you can notice him bite down on the inside of his cheek. “Just leave me alone, Heeseung. Go find someone else and I’ll do the same” you try to be as calm as possible. He can’t know it’s affecting you.

Someone else? No, that can’t be possible. You are the only one who listens to him, you are the only one that’s there for every one of his requests. He can’t just let you go like that. It wouldn't be that easy to replace you.

“Sunghoon, right? That fucking prick, seriously?” he straightens his figure, letting out a frustrated sigh.

“I never brought him up” you mutter, and he scoffs.

Heeseung’s eyes slightly narrow, while his lips press into a thin line.

The silence that follows is heavy, filled only by the quiet chatter of other people that were out here with you.

“Please, Y/n. You can’t do this” his tone becomes softer as a pleading look decorates his features.

You don’t really know what else there is to say.

His words- louder and longer, were given a physical form and longevity as if they had a life of their own now.

It almost made you think you forgive him.

____

During morning prayer you saw him again.

He still had that lifeless look on his face, as if nothing had really changed at all. As if nothing ever happened in the first place. He was two rows in front of you, next to Niki and Sunoo.

You wanted to catch him looking at you, to have his eyes on you.

All the students gathered in the chapel next to the school at 7:30. Punctuality was key. Under no circumstances was tardiness allowed- those who dared to come in a minute late were not allowed to participate and got punished with after-school detention.

Heeseung knelt down next to you. You hoped Sunghoon wouldn't see it.

‘In the name of the Father, and of the Son, and of the Holy Spirit. Amen’

He signs the cross and so do you. “I missed you” Heeseung whispers, his hand softly brushing against your thigh.

“Don’t” you mutter back, swatting his hand away.

One of the students was leading today's Morning Offering.

You tried to focus on Sunghoon. Maybe his hair changed, or maybe his skin got tanner. He got a little skinnier, you note. Sunoo whispers something to him but he doesn't seem to listen.

“Stop,” Heeseung whispers into your ear, his breath hot on your skin. You move away from him, watching how amusing this is for him.

“What?” His presence is strong, the pull almost working involuntarily.

‘...Or does so much bad feeling accumulate within us that we learn to mold it into a big lump of emotions, with amnesties and pardons? Or does the presence of the other, who yesterday morning was almost like an intruder to us, become more and more necessary, because it protects us from our own hell?’

You can’t listen, you can’t comprehend. No matter where, there's something pulling your attention.

“Don’t look at him” Heeseung’s voice is firm, his eyes on you. He’s always watching.

After a short reflection is spoken, a brief moment of silence follows. You close your eyes, leaning forward.

"We pray for our community, that we may learn and grow together in love and wisdom," the intention is spoken, and after reciting a prayer together, the students start rising from their spots slowly.

Sunghoon’s gaze doesn't even wander in your direction. He doesn't look at anyone, speeding out of the chapel as soon as the prayer commences. You want to go after him, but Heeseung stops you before you could even fully decide on it.

“Don’t go”

You turn around, watching his eyes that are full of amusement.

Is he enjoying himself this much? Does this entertain him?

“Heeseung, stop it. It’s over between us, remember? Leave me alone, seriously” you don’t sound heated or outraged. Not even resentful. Simply tired.

He doesn't react to your words. He knows you don't mean it.

You knew he wouldn't stop. You knew that as long as he was here, it’d never stop. He was obsessed and giving up wasn't really an option.

There were exceptions though. During study break, or lunch you wouldn't see him much. Maybe because the repugnance towards Jay and Jake was stronger than his willingness to see you. It didn't really matter though.

The part of you that liked the attention made you sick. It was hard to admit, and you most definitely wouldn't tell anyone. After everything, you still couldn't resent him. The hate continued to only bring you closer.

“When is New York?” Jake asked, his fingers tapping away on his laptop.

Jake was failing in most of his classes and he was slowly running out of time. What he had already learned stayed with him, but now, he had to catch up on a whole semester worth of material.

“Next week? I think” you reply and he mutters something under his breath. You don't catch it.

“Such a boring destination” Jay comments and you breathe out a chuckle in response. What an out of touch thing to say.

“We know, Jongseong. You’ve been there, have an apartment in SoHo and plan on going to NYU” he knows it’s a joke, he’s learned to not take offense to such silly things by now. But no one really calls him Jongseong.

Only his mother does. He hates it just as much as he hates her. But this time- he savors the sound, how easily it slips past your lips and how satisfyingly it rings in his ears.

A small smile tugs at the corner of his lips.

“I’ve never been” Jake piques, and you murmur a ‘Me too’ in response. He doesn't lift his eyes from the screen- it’s almost like he’s glued in place. It’s only the occasional loud sound or cramp in his leg that makes him move.

The trip was only for juniors and seniors. It wasn't the cheapest, but Eunseok didn't comment when you asked him for the money. His worn-out figure just scribbled out a check and handed it to you.

The main point was supposed to be St. Patrick’s Cathedral. You didn't really care for the building. Jake didn't either. You two had already planned to sneak out for dinner and shopping while the tour went on.

“I’m rooming with Heeseung” Jake sighed, taking off his glasses to wipe them with his blazer “That fucking dickhead signed us up last week. Didn't even know until Mrs. Kim told me”

Jay laughed. He passed Jake wet wipes, noticing how the boy can’t get his glasses clean.

“I’m rooming with Sunghoon. Haven't really talked to him, though” Jay says, and you both nod.

A small smile creeps onto your lips “I’m alone”

You didn't mind at all. You could do whatever you wished without an annoying bitch telling you to go to sleep because ‘your phone screen is keeping her awake’.

“Can I stay with you? Please” Jake pleads and you shake your head almost instantly. The boy frowns upon seeing your reaction.

______

New York felt oddly familiar.

These faces- they didn't carry that sense of foreignness. Everyone went about their day without interest in what the person next to them is up to. You felt a good kind of loneliness even though you were never truly alone.

Little Italy and Chinatown were fun.

You, Jay and Jake managed to slip out for a second, sharing a meal at a Cantonese restaurant. The food was quite enjoyable and the ambience was great. Jay did complain a bit though.

That same night you went out for drinks. When all the guardians fell asleep, on cue, everyone sneaked out of their rooms. Heeseung, rooming with Jake, found out about the plans that he wasn't included in. Of course he still tagged along.

Jay mentioned that Sunghoon has been so quiet, it almost feels like suicide everytime they are in the room together.

“I ask him if he wants to shower first, right? And you know what this decadent bum does? Nothing. He won’t even reply to me”

He wanted to complain more, but Heeseung’s angered and ostentatious sigh forced him to stop. He only looked over at Jake confused before switching to a different topic.

The next day you saw almost all the museums in Manhattan.

Your feet were in so much pain by the time you reached The Museum of Modern Art. While Jay and Jungwon walked around pretending to care for the artwork, you and Jake sat in a corner talking and recording dumb vlogs.

“Say hello to Jake’s vlog” he laughed, shoving the camera into your face. Jake’s stupid smile could be heard from behind the screen, his amusement making the video much more adorable.

With an annoyed grimace, you shoved the camera away from your face. Jake was unrelenting and it made napping nearly impossible.

“We’re in some shitty museum” he said sadly, the tone complimenting his mock expression of misery “You know what boggles me? That my dear friend Jay is pretending he likes this. No one likes this. It’s all just ugly paintings that have a forced meaning attached to them”

“Boggles me? What are you, fucking 50?” you laugh, looking over to him. “What else am I supposed to say” his lips twist in a downwards smile.

“Just say ‘Hello’ to my vlog” he pleads again.

Rubbing your temples, a sigh escapes your lips again. You looked up at Jake before staring right into his phone camera.

“Hello” your unenthusiastic tone was menacing to Jake.

He gave you a playful shove “Happier” Jake commanded.

You look over at him wide eyed. After a moment of his unchanging stare, you plaster a forced smile on your face that doesn't quite reach your eyes.

“Hi” you even attempt a wave.

Jake laughed, and turned the camera to face him again. “That’s my stripper friend Y/n. Call me to book a lap dance. It’s real” he whispered, the camera too close to his face.

He turned the camera back to you. You shook your head as a lighthearted laugh slipped past your parted lips “Turn this off, Jake. You’re wasting storage, you fucking idiot”

Later that day the two of them offered to go out again since Jay had actually brought the keys to his fathers apartment. You declined.

Maybe you’d try to call your brother, share some photos with him. It surprised you to actually get an answer. It didn't last long though- 5 minutes in he had to hang up because of an emergency surgery.

You think about Heeseung. You think about everything, really. In the evening waiting for him becomes much more annoying. The thought of him becomes unbearable, because you’re not supposed to think about him.

Rejecting him was almost an immediate reaction. The idea of him was much nicer than having him there, so raw and real in front of you.

It was strange to him too- fearing the days where you were away and he had no idea where you’d gone.

Thinking about Sunghoon was much more grounding. Much more humanly and justified. His blank stare and cold demeanor, unchanging. Nothing brought you the answer you needed. You wished he’d look at you long enough to see that same thirst for life he noticed back in December.

A knock at the door sounds through your hotel room. It’s soft, barely audible.

It’s probably Jake, or Jay. You look down at the time and note that it’s a reasonable time for them to be back. They’ve been out for a good 3 hours now.

You open the door, and it doesn't really hit you at first. Sunghoon must've gotten the wrong room.

Your attempts to look calm are futile as your voice cracks “What are you doing here..?” he stands there for a moment, his lips parted. It’s almost like he doesn't really know either.

As you step back to let him enter, he hesitates briefly “You’re alone?” His voice is mellow. The dim light in the room casts a shadow on his face making him appear much more gloomy than usual.

You nod reluctantly. Your gaze is on him, searching, as if asking for permission to speak, continue.

There's a moment of deep silence. It isn't uncomfortable or awkward. He's in your presence and you're in his. That seems to be enough to console the immediate tranquility.

“Do you like it here?” he asks and it seems to strike you as unusual. He never really bothered to converse with others unless they initiated it.

The scene is oddly familiar. He sits next to you on the bed, propping his body up on his hands. Just like you were immensely aware of each other's closeness that night, it's the same today.

This time though it seems like it's Sunghoon's turn to find excuses to avoid the topic. And you let it happen.

“Yeah. It’s fun” you nod, and so does he. Against your will you ask a question that in different circumstances, wouldn't even make it past your throat- “Are you hiding from me?”

Sunghoon’s heart skips a beat as he looks down at your hand. It’s dangerously close to his thigh “No, not from you” his answer is hesitant.

“It feels like it” he bites the inside of his cheek at your words.

His fingers play with the fabric of your white sheets “Maybe in a way I was” his voice softens, his eyes scared to look at you.

“In what way?” you mutter. The air feels ominous, as if you're both threatening the unchangeable.

“You know” he starts, his hand reaching closer “I was afraid to be denied”

Sunghoon saw you call, his finger hovering over the answer button many times as he wondered what he’d even tell you. There were so many things he wanted to say. So he’d just flip the phone over.

Today he was braver. Or at least that’s what he thought. Because being eye to eye with you again, stripped him of it all.

“I thought you knew I wouldn't. I called you. And texted, a lot” you answered, and his lips pressed into a straight line.

His touch is tentative. Eventually, he reaches out towards you, his warm hand takes yours, interlacing your fingers “And I should’ve answered. I’m sorry. For not being more” he looks at you again, the warmth in his eyes genuine “Because I know you wanted me to be more”

Tears prick at the corner of your eyes. You laugh “This is so stupid”

You halt the tears from spilling down your cheeks. Sunghoon’s lips form into a small smile “It’s not”

You look down at your fingers intertwined. He’s looking too.

You can hear some girls stumble their way into the room next to yours. Judging by the voice, you think it’s Minjeong. She says something about a 45 year old man coming to see her soon. She also seems to be begging her friend for one more drink ‘Last one, promise! I’m not drunk enough, Ning!’

Sunghoon doesn't say anything until the commotion dies down. Neither do you.

“Sloshed at 11. Crazy work” he chuckles, and so do you. You nod, thinking that Jake is probably somewhere in a corner, throwing up. He was definitely not the drinker everyone made him out to be.

He leans in closer, his eyes just for a moment searching yours for acceptance. His head falls down on your shoulder.

“Hoon?” your voice is just above a whisper.

He hears it again. It’s just as nice as it was back then. The sound is almost natural. He thinks you were made to call out to him. In contrast to last time, he’s much more optimistic.

He hums, ushering you to continue “Did you mean it?” He doesn't need you to explain, because he knows exactly what you're referring to.

A small laugh slips past his lips “I think me being here right now answers that one for you” he rises from the softness of your shoulder slowly, savoring the intimacy. A small smile forms on your lips at his words.

Pulling back, your eyes fall onto him again. Being with Sunghoon was so easy.

He pats his lap gently. His eyes are soft, almost begging “Come here” he whispers. The words are heavy with longing. They mingle in the air for just a second longer.

You nod after a moment of hesitation. As you settle onto him, his arms weave around your waist. He draws you into his warmth with his delicate touch. His face nestles into the hollow of your neck as he breathes softly, melting into the comfort of your presence.

Something seemed to have removed the distance between you and Sunghoon, and for a moment you had the impression that there was absolutely no difference in wealth, age or anything else between you. It was a wonderfully free and unleashing moment where you weren’t really expected to be anything.

“I’m sorry” he sounds shy, almost embarrassed.

Sunghoon was never the type to apologize. He’d rather let the conflict simmer down on its own without any further interference. Yet here he was- being vulnerable and honest.

“You already apologized” you smile, your fingers tangled in his hair.

He chuckles lightly “Once is not enough” he mutters into your skin, the sound muffled. You feel his wet lips move against your neck.

He raises his head, looking down at you again. “Can I kiss you?”

A sense of contentment washes over you. You nod, lips parted, waiting for him.

He gently tilts your chin up, his gaze flickering between your eyes and your lips. A soft breath escapes you before he finally captures your lips in a deep, consuming kiss. It quickly grows messy, his hand sliding to the back of your neck. You grasp the neckline of his shirt as his tongue teases the seam of your mouth—seeking, almost begging for entrance.

Sunghoon pulls back, his breathing heavy, his lovesick eyes locked onto you. His lips glisten, slick with your desire.

He presses a trail of open-mouthed kisses along your neck, working his way down to your chest. You watch him through heavy lids, a teasing smile playing on his lips.

“So pretty,” he murmurs, his voice low and rough. His hands slide beneath your shirt, fingers caressing your smooth skin. “Undress for me, please.” There’s a hint of desperation in his words as he tugs at the fabric.

You smile, cupping his cheek. Your thumb glides over his lips, gently parting them. “I don’t know…”

He whimpers quietly, grinding his clothed erection against you. “Don’t tease me. I need to see you.” His movements grow more frantic, his hands grasping at you like he’s desperate to feel every inch.

His face flushes with excitement as you hook your fingers under the hem of your shirt. “Want me to take this off?”

“Fuck, yes.” He nods eagerly, eyes devouring your every movement. One hand drifts down, palming himself through his pants as he watches, entranced.

With slow, deliberate motions, you peel the fabric from your body and toss it onto a nearby chair. His eyes widen with each inch of skin revealed.

“You’re desperate,” you tease, replacing his hand with your own. A feathery moan slips from his lips.

He throws his head back. “Is it obvious?” he breathes, and you confirm with a hum.

“I don’t care,” he admits, his eyes slipping shut as he pushes into your palm, eager for more.

Sunghoon thought about this all the time. He felt like such a pervert, but God, it was finally happening—and it was so much better than he ever imagined.

Last time, he was so close. Ten more minutes and a locked door, and he would’ve had you. Heeseung might have been the first to have you, but Sunghoon planned to be the one who had you best. He’d make you come over and over again until you forgot all about Lee Heeseung.

And judging by the way you were looking at him, it was already starting to work.

“I really need to fuck you,” he groans, biting his lower lip. His breathing is uneven. “So bad.” His fingers trail up your thigh, his touch light, pleading.

“Yeah?” You let out a small laugh, climbing off his lap. Your hands find the soft material of his pants.

He lifts his hips immediately, watching intently as your fingers slide the fabric down his legs.

Sunghoon can feel his heartbeat quickening, his whole body trembling with anticipation. You didn’t know he could get like this. You also didn’t know you’d like it so much.

His breath hitches when you toy with the waistband of his boxers, his legs spreading involuntarily. “Take them off, pretty,” he rasps, his voice cracking. “See how hard I am for you.”

You bite the inside of your cheek, slipping his underwear down. He groans as the fabric slides along his length, his cock springing free.

You prop yourself up on one hand, the other lingering around his thick, leaking length. “Want me to touch you?”

He exhales sharply, his cock twitching against his lower abdomen. “Mhm.” He props himself up on his elbows, eyes dark with need. “Please.”

You press your palm against his tip, moving in slow, circular motions. His breath turns ragged as he throws his head back, surrendering to the feeling.

As your confidence grows, so does your pace. Your hand strokes him, faster, firmer. He pants lightly, looking down at you through half-lidded eyes. “Ride me.”

You smirk and nod, slipping out of your shorts, fingers teasing the waistband of your underwear. He bites his lip, eyes smoldering with lust as his legs spread wider in invitation.

“Take them off me,” you whisper.

He looks up at you, almost as if seeking permission, before ripping the material away.

He’s so desperate to feel you, to touch you, that he wastes no time pulling you back onto his lap.

Sunghoon is mesmerized. He’s been with other girls before, but this is the first time he’s had to work for it. He usually just got what he wanted, no effort required. But now, with you, it feels like a reward. And he plans to cherish every second.

You’ve waited for this moment, savoring every touch, every lingering glance. Each look from him feels like a compliment and promise of something more.

He grips his throbbing length, aligning himself with your entrance. His other hand rests on your hip, steadying you. You can feel his tip pressing against you, and a low moan slips from your lips. He gazes up at you one more time, and you nod.

Slowly, you sink down onto him, your walls stretching to accommodate his thick length. A sharp gasp escapes you as you adjust, his fingers digging into your skin.

“Fuck, Hoon…” He keeps his hold firm, guiding you. “Like this? Is this what you wanted?”

“So fucking good,” he groans. His cock throbs inside you, hitting all the right spots with each downward roll of your hips. “Don’t stop.” His voice is raw with need.

He thrusts up to meet you, his whole body trembling as the wet heat of your cunt envelopes him completely. His self-control is slipping fast. If he had known it would feel this good, he never would have let Heeseung have you first. He would have taken you from the beginning.

You start to move faster, rocking your hips, pleasure building between you both. The sounds of your moans mix with the rhythmic slap of skin against skin.

“So perfect,” he mutters through heavy breaths. “You’re so perfect.”

Your head falls back as Sunghoon presses a hand against your stomach, feeling himself inside you. He grits his teeth, trying to hold back, trying to make it last. But he can already feel it—the tightening coil deep in his core.

“I can’t,” you pant, your walls fluttering around him. The need for release is overwhelming.

With those words, he loses it. He pulls you flush against his chest, thrusting up into you at a frantic pace. “Fuck—gonna cum so deep inside you.”

His teeth sink into your shoulder, leaving red marks in their wake.

“So close, Hoon,” you whimper, and it pushes him to the edge.

He buries himself to the hilt, a guttural moan tearing from his throat as he spills inside you, thick and hot, filling you completely. His eyes roll back as he comes, shuddering beneath you.

You’re right behind him, your climax crashing over you in waves. Your body quivers, collapsing onto his sweaty chest. His cum seeps from your still-clenching walls as he slowly slips out, savoring every second of your tight heat around him.

He watches his seed leak from your fucked-out hole, a satisfied smile tugging at his lips. “So pretty,” he murmurs, his voice hoarse.

With a sigh, he falls onto his back, pulling you down with him.

Sunghoon feels completely content, his fingers lazily tracing patterns along your spine. He can feel your breath against his neck, warm and steady, making him smile.

Today feels like the first day of his life.

….

The rest of the trip was unparalleled. For you and Sunghoon at least. Others could wish to say the same thing.

Everyday he'd attempt to sneak into your room at night. He even created a special sequence of knocks just so you'd be sure it's him. Jay didn't seem to suspect anything.

On Wednesday night while using the bathroom he said he wants to film a Get Ready With Me. Just like the ones he'd seen on social media. You laughed, and agreed. This was so unlike him. In a good way though.

You think about the unrecorded parts- how he stood in between your legs, his face twisted in discomfort as you clear his skin.

“Your lipstick choice is fucking terrible. Coral is not your color, Hoon” you smile widely.

His lips were terribly overlined. The brown pigment reached high beyond his actual mouth. Sunghoon looked so stupid, but to you, it was adorable.

“Do it for me next time” a fond smile spreads across his face. He holds your hand, his thumb tenderly rubbing your soft skin.

You look at him with a raised eyebrow “Next time? Didn’t know my princess liked getting her makeup done” he playfully rolls his eyes at you.

“Too far” he tries to hold back a smile, but his twitching lip gives it away “Keep going” he looks at the cotton pad in your other hand.

You nod, scooting just a little closer to him.

Sunghoon stood there silently, eyes closed. His body twitches involuntarily as your fingers graze against his skin. He feels your soft breathing against his neck. The warmth mixed with the soothing swipe of the cotton pad against his face, sends a shiver down his spine, as his body naturally relaxes against you.

“Gone” you smile and his eyes flush open. His reflection stares back at him in the mirror.

His skin is irritated, he can tell. And usually he’d freak out. But now, he doesn't seem to really care.

The doting look in his eyes searched your expression, his hands sliding up and down your bare thighs.

“You’re so hot,” he says. A small smirk creeps up on his lips as he keeps inching closer.

“Sunghoon” you glare at him, attempting to look serious. His soft laughter breaks the facade pretty quickly.

Without another word he presses his slightly stained lips against yours. He smiles against you, his mouth opening faintly. He reaches up to hold your cheek, chest pressing against yours. A moan escapes your mouth as he deepens the kiss. His tongue swipes your bottom lip before slipping past it.

During field trips he’d find himself drifting closer to you. And when free time came around, he'd run off with you to different parts of the city he once fell in love with.

With his arm around your shoulders, he’d point to cafes, restaurants, street art and even benches. He was truly happy. And even if you weren't paying attention to his stories, the genuine smile on his face was enough.

“No way” you gasp, the amusement evident on your face as you peel away his sleeve slightly “I swear Jake and Jay have the same one”

Sunghoon laughs, watching you analyze the ‘4’ tattoo on his wrist.

“They do,” he smiles weakly. “Heeseung has it too” you never noticed.

You always knew about Jay’s- it was on his right palm. Just recently you saw Jake had it too, hidden on the back of his neck.

“He does?” Sunghoon nods and points to his ankle.

It's almost been a year since they got it, but the ink has already started fading away. In a way, Sunghoon was relieved.

“We were so fucking out of it that night” he starts, and you turn to face him. “It was in Tokyo, I think? This girl we met, she was a tattoo artist” he looks down at it too and his eyes seem to light up “We thought it'd be funny “

You grab onto his wrist as he speaks again “My mom was so mad when she found out. She wanted it removed but I was such a fucking asshole to her back then, so I didn't listen” you don’t let go, moving your fingers upwards to hold onto his hand. He smiles.

“You look badass. Sort of” he chuckles, shaking his head.

“It looks bad and ass. And I swear her ink was from Aliexpress” he pulls you into his chest.

It was getting dark outside, but the city was only becoming livelier. Everyone was in a rush, but their ambition and passion was almost tangible.

“I’m jealous then. Matching tattoos, that's serious dedication” you smile and he laughs at the comment.

His chin rests on the top of your head, his breathing slow and steady. He watches the orange haze that falls onto the landscape.

“I’ll get your name tattooed” you hum and it almost sounds like you're judging him. He chuckles “Swear to God”

“You’re insane”

The next day he’d find a new spot to take you to. He was a better tour guide than your English teacher, you’d tell him.

And Heeseung knew about it all. To say he was angry would be an understatement.

He passed by St. Marks Place with Karina. The girl told him something about her sister being interested in him. He didn't really listen to her though.

So many people passed by him- maybe 40 in the span of 5 seconds. A lot of them looked similar. New York fashion is diverse, but it really just comes down to the same thing, he notes.

Yet he pays attention to them all, especially the two oddly familiar faces that stand in front of him, playing with a passerbys dog.

Until now, Heeseung was pretty sure he had the situation under control. He was giving you the distance he deemed necessary. Still, his eyes never left you. And when they did, once, but for a period longer than ever, you manage to find yourself in the arms of Park Sunghoon again.

Karina notices it too. He told her all about it, the whole story. She knew he was short-tempered so she never really told him that this wasn't healthy. It’d be on the tip of her tongue every time, lingering far too long for comfort. By the time she was ready, he’d change the topic.

“She’s being unreasonable, right? Tell me I’m not insane” he asked. His eyes focused on the last sip of whiskey in his glass.

You are, she thinks.

“You can’t just expect her to move on because you said so” she wants to laugh, but judging by his worn-out expression, he’s not in the mood for humor.

He scoffs. Why not? You never had an issue listening to him.

“I didn’t say so” he replies, and she looks at him with her eyebrow raised “I said sorry, Rina. What the fuck else is there to say?”

“Nothing” Karina’s reply is almost automatic “That’s really the thing, you know? Sometimes sorry isn’t enough” her attempts at ‘comfort’ are fruitless- his head falls on the table after he finishes whatever was left of his drink.

“Does this haircut make my face look weird?”

Karina would laugh it off. She’d just let him go on about his haircut, the shoes he bought today, Jake’s glasses that he accidentally stepped on and the stray cat that almost bit him.

She knew that it was a matter of time until he’d bring you up again. It was a cycle that never ended.

While you deny him love, you give it to the same person he’s been trying to erase. And in a way it’s his fault- he left the cage open and you walked out.

____

“Are you fucking serious right now? Two parents but still can’t slice up a tomato” Jay scolds the younger boy that was forced to help him in the kitchen.

“What does that have to do with anything?” Jake retorts, his expression tired as he gives up on the job completely. The massacred tomato lies on the cutting board which Jay swiftly takes over.

“Everything, Jake. Literally everything” he sighs, sending Jake away with his hand.

Dinners, hangouts, parties and suddenly everything fell into place. There no longer was the inexplicable animosity hanging in the air. It felt strange at first- the conversations and acts of kindness turned into something a lot more authentic and domestic. This is what you missed the most, it seems.

“You’re not getting into Harvard, fucking dumbass” Sunghoon laughed, digging his fork into the food prepared by Jay (and as he himself argued, Jake, who waited for the water to boil before dumping in the pasta).

“My grades are better now” Jake asserted “You’ll see, I’ll have the last laugh. Just wait” the threat and seriousness in his expression makes you chuckle.

“I’m gonna stay here” Sunghoon smiles. You look at him confused. You well remember him mentioning Princeton.

“What about Princeton?” Jay brings it up before you manage to do so. Sunghoon shakes his head, setting down his utensils.

“My step-mom is sick,” he reveals. You grab his hand under the table, and he squeezes hard “She’ll be fine, don’t worry. I just want to be with my family for now. Maybe in the future I’ll transfer” he adds with a smile.

Sunghoon has never been particularly close to his mother or his step-mother. It was a choice for him.

Jeongja, his mothers girlfriend, came into his life when he was 5 years old. She took care of him like he was her own. “Blood is not a requirement when it comes to family. I’ll always love you like a son, Sunghoon. Will you remember that?” she told him one day. He always thinks about that time. Sunghoon has always been so loved and he wishes he gave it back sooner, not when he was on the brink of losing her.

Jay feels a pang of guilt in his chest at his words. Maybe one day he could learn to love his mother again. Not today, not tomorrow but one day. He wants that, more than anything.

The day comes to a close soon enough, leaving you and Sunghoon to bask in each other's embrace.

His head is on your stomach, as you play with his hair. It’s grown quite long, especially in the back.

“Two days before New Year's I was at the event hosted by Heeseung’s father” he starts. You don’t say anything, allowing him to continue “I talked to Heeseung then. That was the last time, actually” he chuckles lightly. There’s a hint of sadness in his tone, but he can't quite tell why.

“You know he actually likes you?” it doesn't shock you like he expected it to. He doesn't comment on it though, letting you find the right words in reply.

“I know” you say, and he sits up abruptly, looking at you.

“You do?” He seems puzzled. It has been so long since he’s seen or even talked to Heeseung. He wouldn't know.

Maybe there is a part of him that misses the boy. He was his first friend at Saint Matthew’s Academy. He welcomed him like they’d been friends since forever. Heeseung put up with his initial shyness even when it seemed like everyone else couldn't anymore.

Sunghoon always smiles when he thinks about his first day. Lee Heeseung spotted him in the crowd, and without an introduction, swung his arm around his shoulder, talking to him like an old friend.

He introduced him to Wonyoung, his first actual girlfriend. Even though he wasn't on the best terms with her right now, even though he was with her out of convenience, the memory of their time shared together makes his heart just a little warmer.

Heeseung was the one who gave him a life. And he loved him, which made leaving 10 times harder.

Even so, he doesn't regret the decision. He knew it was pointless to live with the idea of his once best friend that wasn't really accurate anymore. They both deserved better than each other.

“He’s made it pretty clear” your lips form into a downwards smile.

Sunghoon looks away from you for a brief moment as he speaks up “And it doesn't change anything?”

“What do you mean?” you tilt your head in question.

Sunghoon exhales sharply. Even though he knows what answer to expect, there’s still that ounce of fear in him. Fear that stems from being second, being the ‘afterparty’.

“You still choose this? Even if you know it wasn't necessarily fake after all?” he asks even though he knows he shouldn't.

You smile, and pull him back into your chest “I should've chosen this from the beginning” he feels his heart grow bigger, a heat rising to his face “It doesn't matter what it was, not really. Didn’t you know I’d come back to you?” he chuckles and shakes his head.

“I’m happy you did” he murmurs, his eyes shutting. Your hand slips under his shirt, caressing the soft skin on his back “You know, if he ever made you feel worse than us, I hope you know it’s not true. You’re a good girl, and I always knew it. You deserve more, and I’ll make sure you get it, okay?”

You smile lightly, and nod.

You look over at the dirty dishes in the sink, messy dinner table, and sigh softly as you think about all the work that’ll have to be conquered soon.

But you let him fall asleep on your chest, and it feels good. Even if there's things left undone.

____

It was Jungwon’s birthday dinner today.

After the school trip you two have grown much closer. He would visit you during breaks or sometimes join you in the study hall. He’d even given up his seat next to Jay (who was surprisingly really good at the subject) in French class to sit with you.

Jungwon would talk a lot about his girlfriend, Binna. She went to a public school not far from here and met Jungwon during a student exchange program to Sweden. She’d always tell him what people at her school thought about the well renowned, enclosed community of St. Matthew’s. It wasn’t entirely positive, and since Binna was dating one of the ‘stuck-up dickheads that probably wipes his ass with $100 bills’, they wouldn’t really include her in the conversations anymore.

But you enjoyed hearing about her. Jungwon would ask for advice regarding gifts, places he should take her and things he could do to make her feel loved. And you’d always give it to him.

He showed you countless pictures of her, always struggling with choosing one “She looks pretty in all of these, I swear!”

Her brown hair covered her face slightly but you could still see her beautiful face. Big, doe eyes, plump lips that were rosewood pink. She had a scar under her right eye. You thought it made her look so stunning. Jungwon did too.

During his birthday dinner, you saw them together for the first time. It was almost like he forgot what he was here for in the first place, his attention on her only.

You sat next to Sunghoon and Jake. Jay sat next to Jake with Niki on his right. Heeseung sat across from you, Karina next to him on the left, Sunoo on his other side. The other people there you didn’t really recognize.

The relationship between you and Jungwon wasn’t the only thing that changed. A lot of things did.

“Let’s go back to my house after this” he leaned in closer to you. He didn’t have to even whisper, the conversations that surrounded you ringing in your ears. The music was loud too. You think Sade is playing, but you're not sure.

Jake, although currently arguing with Jay about baseball clubs, notices. He caught on pretty early. During a walk after school, he brought it up. “Back in the game, huh? How did you even get him to talk?”. He knew you wouldn’t admit to anything, but it was funny to watch you get flustered at his comments.

“Won’t you be tired?” you ask, and he laughs softly. Tired after eating a free dinner, and cracking a few fake smiles? This was like a day job for him. Countless dinners with his biological father, whom he truly despised, or CEO’s of other successful companies, or with Wonyoung and her parents (he hated those one’s the most). He’s used to it by now.

He shakes his head ‘no’ which causes you to smile. His hand lingers next to your thigh. He’s tempted to touch you, but Heeseung’s piercing gaze prevents him. He doesn’t know why. It’ll end soon, surely.

You look over at Jay who's now in conversation with Niki. It’s a little shocking to see them like this.

Niki never liked Jay, and Jay didn’t like him either. Even if he was meant to marry his sister one day (which he saw maybe four times in his life, but truly wasn’t opposed to- she was so beautiful), Niki just couldn’t care less about Park Jongseong. They seem to be laughing at something now and it doesn't look forced, not at all. It’s a rare view and you almost take a photo. You could tease him with it later.

Jake turns to you and Sunghoon, noting how the boy is much more talkative when he’s with you.

“I’ll be back” you say, and Sunghoon nods, watching you stand up. He wants to say ‘I’ll miss you’, but thinks it’s incredibly corny.

The restaurant is crowded tonight. You seem to be the only big group of people there. You smile while passing an older couple that’s celebrating the wife’s birthday, a small cake and a big bouquet in a glass vase on the table.

Warm water slides down your fingers, drips down your wrist as you watch your reflection in the mirror.

January seeped into February while you became better. That's what you want to believe at least. While the hair dye keeps fading away, you think about how Heeseung suggested the color. When you touch what's left of your lip piercing (only a healed scar), you remember how he picked it out for you. It’s not inherently bad to change yourself for someone, but you wish you hadn't become everything you never wanted to be.

The door opens, the creak sounding through the bathroom. You don't look up, instead shaking the wetness off your hands.

“Still scared of the hand-dryer?” he leans against the wall. His tone is almost mocking, and usually you’d laugh with him. But today, just like yesterday and the day before that too, you don't feel like talking to Lee Heeseung.

“Heeseung, I’m not in the mood” Your tone is flat and his expression- unchanging. “I already told you everything I had to say”

“Do I make you feel sick? Do you think about what happened between us and feel sick?” You're taken aback by his sudden question.

There's a moment of painful silence as he gauges your reaction. You look at him with utter confusion, but his expression doesn't seem to falter- he's calm, almost too calm.

For the weeks after New York, Heeseung went back to ignoring you. You wouldn't see him much either, as he spent most of his time with Karina or a group of guys from your grade. Sometimes, he’d look at you for a moment longer than intended. His lips would part, as if he wanted to say something, but he never did.

Heeseung started ignoring you, and for the first time since you met him, it was okay.

“What?” you choke out, and he doesn't repeat. You heard him the first time, didn't you? “N- No. What are you even talking about?”

He scoffs, his eyes on the floor. Your back is pressed against the sink as you wait for him to continue.

“Then why him? We were good together” he doesn't sound sad, or resentful. It's almost like the question comes out automatically, like it's standard procedure.

You want to laugh. He sounds robotic, his ‘apology’ most likely rehearsed. No matter how much time passes, no matter what happens and what doesn't, Heeseung doesn't quite get it. Not at all.

“I want someone who doesn't see me as a game” you speak and he doesn't fire back- instead he nods. “And honestly, I really don't give a fuck what changed in the middle. You should've told me then, not after we had sex” he cringes at the reminder.

Was sorry really not enough? He needs a breakthrough, but nothing seems to work.

The last time he felt like this was when his first real girlfriend broke up with him to be with his brother. They're still together- a stinging reminder of what Heeseung couldn't be.

He remembers begging her to stay, standing in front of her, a desperate look on his face “I’ll be better” . She just laughed in his face. He felt like such an idiot.

And it happens yet again- it's just never enough. He's never enough.

He sighs, his expression changing “Do I have to kill him to get my fucking life back?”

You look at him confused “I- I don't understand” he shakes his head. His body peels off the wall, as he comes closer to you.

“That dickhead has it. He stole my life” his voice is just above a whisper, his eyes darkening. You don’t reply, a look of hesitancy on your features.

His friends, his almost girlfriend, his social status- Sunghoon took it away. He stole his identity, everything he's ever worked for. Heeseung had nothing left.

His hand lands on your shoulder, his touch tentative at first “I’ll be better”

He watches you sigh, a twinge of sadness in your eyes that can't look at him. A flash of hope crosses his face, but Heeseung knows it's pointless- he already lost. A long time ago.

“It doesn't matter anymore, really” you finally speak “And I don't think I’ll ever be over the person you were before, Heeseung”

Heeseung looked like he knew this was coming. Probably because he did.

He could say some cliche shit like “You know I’ll always love you?” or “Can you kiss me for the last time?”, but he doesn't. He nods. Maybe because he knew this far longer than he'd like to admit.

Heeseung recalls the moment he first saw you like it was yesterday. He was being a douche, wasn't he? It always went the same- he showers you with compliments, makes you think he’s emotionally intelligent, and eventually he’d have some fun with you. He never knew it’d go this far, no.

Now, he hates himself for being so fucking stupid, so reckless. But again, he wouldn't be able to keep it a secret long. They knew, they all did. And time already showed him that they wouldn't wait with the truth. They just would, they all would.

He’s glad to be leaving soon. Changing schools was never his plan- but it no longer made sense for him to be here. He’s sure there’s nicer things waiting for him in Kyoto.

He’s sure there’s a better version of him there.

Heeseung wants to tell you that this stupid birthday dinner for silly, little Yang Jungwon is most likely the last time he’ll see you. He wants to tell you that those rumors about him moving are true, but he bites his tongue. You probably knew anyway, and you probably didn't care.

He hugs you, and you let him. You let him hold you, and you pretend not to hear his quiet sniffles. He wouldn't want you to see him like this. Deep down he hopes that maybe eternal return is real, and he’ll get to have you in the exact same way again at one time.

Heeseung moves away from you, his glossy eyes glazing over your figure. He moves for the door handle, opening the door. The world becomes much louder again, as the line of tables spreads out in the distance.

“After you” he smiles weakly, his eyes avoiding you.

You reciprocate the same weak, apologetic smile. Stepping out of the bathroom you don't look back, heading straight for the table you came from.

You could've kept avoiding it, ignoring the growing pain in your chest whenever he crossed you. But you owed it to him.

There's a flash of guilt on your features as you approach everyone. But seeing Sunghoon laughing so effortlessly and purely with Jake and Jay again makes your lips curve into a small, genuine smile again.

“Are you okay?” his wide smile doesn't falter as Sunghoon turns to look at you. There’s a bit of concern in his tone as speaks, though. You nod.

“Where’s Karina?” you ask, noticing the two empty seats.

They think it’s weird- you asking about Karina of all people. But no one bothers to really make a comment about it.

“She left with Heeseung like 10 minutes ago. Didn't you see them leaving?” Jake questions.

“No” your gaze falls onto Sunghoon again. He looks so happy, and free. It didn't use to be like this. “Let’s get out of here” you lean down, your face at level with his.

He nods, moving swiftly as he collects his belongings “Yeah. Let’s go. If you’re not tired” he grins. You roll your eyes playfully, shoving him softly.

He holds your hand, his skin so delicate and smooth against yours. His grip is tight, as if he’s scared something might take you away from him.

“Let’s go be tired together, yeah?” he nods with a smile, looking down at you.

And the bittersweetness of February 9th stains you like the blood of a plump cherry on a summer day. But it was always meant to be this way, you think.

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withwritersblock · 1 day ago

Text

Calling After Me

~Calling After Me by Wallows~ Author's Note: requested! I have no idea what this is! Long time no see um here's this Lazar!reader fic that is um long. Summary: Luke pursues Curtis's younger sister Warnings: maybe implied smut? Word Count: 15,663 Luke Hughes x Lazar!fmreader

When his baby sister called him and asked for his help, Curtis instantly jumped on the opportunity. His baby sister, Y/N, was studying to be a teacher in New York and she was starting her student teaching. Which meant no income. Without any hesitation, he offered her to stay in his guest room for as long as she needed. He would also pay her to babysit so she would have some money.

There was a nine year age gap between them and Curtis would do anything to make sure she was okay. He threw a welcome party for her, it was dramatic but he was excited for his baby sister to live with him.

Since she was living in New Jersey, her school was able to give her placement there. She started her student teaching back in August and for the last two months, it’s been great.

Now that the regular season was right around the corner, Curtis was planning on having some of his teammates by to watch the football game that was on tonight. Curtis never really had to worry about his teammates liking his sister since she was nine years younger than him.

Except now he has teammates that are nine years younger than him. It was his mission to make sure that his teammates keep their eyes and hands away from his baby sister.

She was sitting at the dining table with a handful of essays her students had written. Her mentor teacher let her grade the students’ work for the first time alone. Curtis climbed down the stairs to the house they were renting with his youngest son in his arms.

“Y/N,” Curtis asked as he stepped into the dining room. She nodded as she lifted her gaze. “Can you take this upstairs? The boys are gonna be here soon,” he let out. She furrowed her eyebrows as she looked into her eldest brother’s eye.

“I can’t be down here when they come over?” she asked, a laugh climbing in her throat.

“It’ll be–like–loud and stuff. Don’t you need to focus with–quiet,” he let out, trying to hide his other agenda. He failed.

Y/N took a deep breath as she began to restack the papers in front of her. There was probably eighty essays that she still needed to finish. “Sure,” she drew out the word as she stood up from the dining table, pushing the glasses up on her face as she walked up to him. “You act like I haven’t met them before, but sure. I’ll stay hidden,” she teased as she poked the belly of her nephew before she walked past him towards the stairs.

Curtis paused as he took a deep breath spinning around, “Thank you,” he let out softly as the doorbell rang. His eyes widened as he walked quickly towards the front door. He glanced behind him to see his sister completely upstairs. He let out a long drawn out breath while he pulled the door open.

He smiled widely when he saw Dawson, John, and Tyler waiting outside of his door. “Hey guys,” he let out as he let the three of them inside. John waved excitedly towards Curtis’s youngest son. Curtis chuckled as he went to shut the door, only to see the Hughes brothers jogging up towards the door. “Hey!” he called out as they stepped inside.

“Holy shit, this place is nice,” Jack let out as his eyes instantly danced around the living room and the small view of the kitchen.

“Thanks man,” Curtis offered as he glanced towards Luke, who was shyly shoving his hands into his hoodie pockets. “There is alcohol in the fridge, food is on it’s way and the game will be on in like forty minutes. Make yourself at home,”

Dawson and John didn’t hesitate as they instantly started walking towards the kitchen. Jack and Luke hovered by the door for a few seconds before they followed after the other two. Tyler took a spot on the couch as Curtis followed towards him.

“Where’s your sister?” Tyler asked as he looked around the room. Curtis chuckled as he tossed his head back as he glanced down towards his son.

“Upstairs, grading some stuff,” he said, a grin on his lips.

“Hiding her from the Hughes bros?” Tyler teased. Curtis tossed his head back for a second. He leaned down and placed his son into the swing. He pressed the button, allowing it to rock slowly back and forth.

“And Dawson, kid’s got charm,” Curtis let out while laughing. Tyler chuckled as he shook his head slightly. “She doesn’t need to be getting involved with any of them,” he expressed.

“They’re not bad, you know,” Tyler let out teasingly.

“She doesn’t need to know that,” Curtis shot back as there was another knock on the door.

Another hour later and the Detroit Lions and Minnesota Vikings game was in full swing. Half of the roster was in the house and scattered all over the living room. Reanne came home with his eldest son and the wings they ordered. There was a giant tray of wings and the pizza they ordered were all over the dining table.

Reanne was in the process of putting both of their young sons to sleep while Y/N was still grading papers in her newly appointed bedroom. The boys in the living room were not as loud as she initially thought. But from the amount of cars sitting outside of the house, she assumed it was a lot of the players.

The Lions scored a touchdown and a few of the boys cheered before they took long sips of their drinks. “How’s that league looking, Jacky?” Curtis teased from across the way. Jack tossed his head back while rolling his eyes playfully.

Luke smacked his hand against Jack’s shoulder, “Told you not to take Monty off of your roster, man,” Luke teased.

“Shut up,” Jack let out as the entire room started laughing.

Y/N began climbing down the steps, causing a handful of the guys to look towards her. She kept to herself, fully aware of the majority of New Jersey Devils roster was in her living room.

“Hey Y/N, thought you were staying upstairs tonight,” Curtis offered before he brought his beer towards his lips.

She lifted her head up to see them glancing towards her. Curtis was staring towards her angrily. His cheeks flushed red from the alcohol in his body. Luke tried to keep his eye off of her. But it was impossible. It was as if she was walking in slow motion as he watched her climb down the steps. Her body was covered with a tight blue long sleeve top and a pair of grey sweats.

Luke’s body ran hot as he continued to stare towards her; as subtly as he could. She was stunning, absolute no discussion about it. He forced his gaze towards his lap while clearing his throat.

“I’m not Harry Potter. I’m not gonna hide and pretend I don’t exist when guests come over,” she let out teasingly as she walked passed the crowded living room towards the back door. The entire room started laughing.

Luke’s head shot up as he looked back towards her direction as she sauntered away from the living room. His heart quite literally jumped into his throat. He couldn’t breathe.

They heard the door slam shut in the back. Curtis glanced towards the handful of younger guys in the group, “Don’t get any ideas,” he let out as he pointed a finger towards each of them. His gaze lingered on Luke, who’s cheeks were bright red. Luke dropped his gaze towards his lap as he took a deep breath while adjusting his body.

“Is that your sister?” Jack asked as he smacked his hand against Luke’s arm. Almost out of habit. “When did she move here?”

Curtis nodded, “My baby sister moved here in August. She was in New York for school,” he explained before he brought his beer towards his lips. “She’s staying with us for a while.” he explained as he forced his gaze towards the TV.

Quickly, the boys all let it go and their attention went back towards the game. They all had a running bet on which team was going to win. The room was pretty split on who was going to take the game. Which meant the losing side would have to pick up the bill for any dinner the team has for the entire team. Basically, the losing team would take turns on paying.

“I’m going to get more food,” Luke said outloud to anyone who would listen. Curtis nodded and a few of the others did as well. Luke stood up from the couch as he manuvered through the crowd towards the kitchen. He ran his fingers through his hair and walked towards the dining table to see Curtis’s sister eating one of the slices as she was sitting at the table.

His eyes widened as she looked towards him. “Hey,” she mumbled while keeping her gaze low. Almost afraid to meet his eye.

“Thought you left,” Luke mumbled as he took another plate and began to put some pizza slices onto his plate. He clenched his jaw as he avoided her gaze, his heart was still pounding hard against his chest.

“I tried, there’s like four cars blocking me in,” she mumbled before she took another bite. He chuckled as he glanced behind him. For the first time their eyes met for only a brief second before she shyly dropped her gaze towards her plate in front of her.

“Yeah one of those is probably mine, sorry,” he mumbled. She shrugged before she awkwardly met his gaze. He watched as her eyes widened slightly as she pressed her lips together.

“It’s okay, thought I’d steal some food before you all eat it all,” she expressed while chuckling.

“Now that you’ve been spotted, you could join us,” Luke offered as he stepped away from the table. She looked into his eyes, a soft smile formed to her lips.

Luke felt his heart jump into his throat as he saw her smile. Seeing her smile was the most beautiful thing he’s ever seen. He’s never wanted to look at anything else. He took a shaky breath as he forced his gaze down.

“Rather not,” she mumbled.

“Why?” Luke asked, laughing softly.

“Curtis may play for the Devils but not really the team I wanna be around,” she explained as she stood up from the chair taking her plate with her. She stepped towards him briefly while maintaining eye contact. Her stomach flipped slightly as she got closer to him.

“What team?” Luke asked solely out of curiosity. She pursed her lips forward as she fought off a grin.

“Let’s just say between you and your brothers, Quinn’s my favorite,” she offered teasingly before she walked back towards the living room. Luke dropped his head, laughing. He followed after her towards the living room to rejoin the team.

Y/N didn’t stop as she walked straight towards the stairs. Curtis glared towards Luke as he sat back down. Instead of asking any questions Curtis let it slide.

“Seriously Rusty, didn’t you eat an entire pizza already?” Dawson let out causing the room to start laughing. Luke chuckled to himself as his gaze lingered on the stairs where Y/N walked up. His heart started beating rapidly.

~~~

For some reason, she couldn’t get him out of her head. She barely saw him, barely spoke with him but that smile felt like a drug coursing through her veins. She was struggling to fall asleep since her mind kept replaying his smile. His grin that was ever so slightly lopsided. His eyes squinted slightly each time his lips curlced upward.

The entire night she tossed and turned trying to fall asleep but her mind was so busy with his smile. She never paid attention to him before. All she knew was that he was the youngest Hughes brother and he was also supposed to be great. It wasn’t a lie that her favorite team was the Canucks, she loved hearing his laugh when she told him that.

His laugh was like honey in her ears. It was everything and she knew she wanted to hear it more. She knew she needed to see him more. But she knew Curtis would be mad.

She sat in the parking lot of the school she was student teaching at and slowly scrolled through his Instagram. Specifically, looking through the photo collection he had posted back in July. She kept admiring each photo, craving to get to know him more.

A sigh fell from her lips as she gone back to his main page, staring at the follow button. He probably wouldn’t even notice. She was a private account, it would seem like any random person was following him. She took a deep breath as she pressed follow. Quickly, she tossed her phone onto the passenger seat beside her with her entire body ran hot.

Looking up at the time on her car radio, she realized she had to start heading inside or it would be too close to on time. Her mentor teacher preferred her to be early. Turning her car off, she reluctantly took a hold of her phone and shoved it into her bag.

She was grateful that she didn’t have her phone on her because she would’ve been checking her phone nonstop to see if Luke requested to followed her back. Yet, she kept thinking about it throughout the lesson she was teaching throughout the morning.

It was finally time for her to eat lunch since their free period started a few minutes back. She was in the teacher’s lounge, waiting for the other student teacher to join her. His name was Jacob and they were quickly becoming friends.

“Girl, I swear to god, if I have to explain the difference between sin, cos, tan, one more time today, I may explode,” Jacob let out with a long drawn out sigh before he slammed his lunch bag down onto the table. Y/N smirked before she tossed some of the pretzels into her mouth.

“Are you sure you want to be a teacher?” Y/N asked softly, a smirk toying to her lips. She pulled her phone from her pocket. Instead of looking at it, she placed it down onto the table.

“I’ll let you know after we’re done with trig,” he let out before he zipped open his lunch bag. Y/N chuckled while rolling her eyes. “How are you surviving today?” he questioned.

“I am alive,” she let out as she took a deep breath, “Probably a little bit better than you,” she let out teasingly.

“Clearly,” he let out chuckling before he opened up his salad. “How was your weekend?” he asked as he shoved salad into his mouth. She took a deep breath as her mind instantly went to Luke. Which didn’t make any sense, she spent only a few minutes with him last night.

“My brother had a lot of his teammates over last night,” she explained as Jacob’s eyes widened with a smirk toying to his lips.

“Oh my god was Nico there?” he asked excitedly. Y/N stifled a laugh, “–I mean how was that?” Jacob said while chuckling.

She rolled her eyes playfully, “I think he was there but I was shunned to my room,” she let out.

“What? That’s lame,” he let out. “I mean a bunch of hot professional athletes in your living room and you couldn’t say hi? Ridiculous.”

“I did see them for like five minutes while I stole their food,” she chuckled softly. Her eyes widened as she took a hold of her phone and watched as her phone screen lit up. She swiped down and clicked notifications she missed with her phone on do not disturb. Slowly, she scrolled to see a notification from Instagram.

lhughes_06 requested to follow you. 2 hours ago

Her mouth fell open as she stared towards the notification. Her heart began to race while selecting it. Without hesistation she accepted the follow request with her hands shaking slightly.

“What just happened?” Jacob asked while chuckling nervously. Y/N lifted her gaze while she delicately placed her phone back onto the table.

“N–nothing,” she mumbled, not so convincingly. Jacob’s eyes squinted as he looked over her frame for a moment. He hummed before he switched the conversation.

Her phone buzzed on the table and flashed the home screen with another Instagram notification. Instantly, she took a hold of it and her FaceID showed her the DM from Luke.

lhughes_06 : Thought Quinn was your favorite ;)

She bit her bottom lip as she stared at the message. Her cheeks flushed as she fought her grin.

Was he being flirty? Was he just saying hello? Was it just an ice breaker? Instead of replying she placed her phone back down onto the table as she looked back towards Jacob.

“So I’m supposed to pretend that you’re not grinning at your phone, okay,” Jacob said teasingly.

“Yes you are, and you’re failing miserably,” Y/N shot back as she began typing a reply. After she hit send, she placed the phone back on the table face down.

“Okay, so let’s talk about our plans this Friday,” Jacob offered, attempting to change the subject for her.

“No plans, I’m babysitting,” she mumbled sadly. Jacob threw his head back.

“Oh come on! You’re always babysitting,” Jacob whined. Y/N laughed while rolling her eyes.

“I’ll ask my brother if you can come hang out,” she offered while rolling her eyes playfully.

~~~

Throughout the day, she was texting Luke when she could. It was basic small talk but every time she felt her phone buzz in her pocket she fought every urge to read it instantly.

She was laying on the couch, staring towards her phone screen waiting for Luke to message her back. A sigh fell from her lips as she dropped her phone down onto her chest. Her eyes shut as she kept hearing her heart slam against her chest. It’s been overworking all day.

“Hey,” Curtis expressed as he flopped down onto the end of of couch. He shoved her feet off of the cushion. Her eyes jolted open as she saw her eldest brother sitting down. He took a hold of the remote and pulled up the Vancouver game that was on. Y/N glanced towards the screen for a second.

“So um–” she began as she felt her phone buzz, she pulled it up to see another message from Luke.

lhughes_06 : can I get your number? I don’t get notifications on Instagram

She smirked; subtle, real subtle. She placed her phone back onto her chest as she looked towards Curtis. His gaze was solely on the game.

“What’s the situation with Luke?” she asked nearly embarrassed to ask the question.

Curtis furrowed his eyebrows as he switched his gaze towards her. “Hughes?” he questioned harshly. She pursed her lips forward as she slowly nodded. “He’s my teammate, Y/N. You know teammates are off limits,” he let out while crossing his arms over his chest; pouting.

“Are they?” she asked sarcastically, “I mean usually your teammates are like a decade older than me. Never really needed a rule like that before,” she let out jokingly.

“Fine, making it a rule now. Do not get involved with my teammates. Especially a Hughes,” Curtis stated as he refused to look towards her.

“What is that supposed to mean?” she asked while laughing.

“Just stay away from my teammates, alright?” he said as he watched the game switch to a commercial break. Y/N pursed her lips forward as she nodded slowly. “I’m not gonna let them break my baby sister’s heart,” he let out.

She clenched her jaw while rolling her eyes. Curtis always had the overwhelming habit of being overly protected of her. All over her older siblings were protective over her. It’s what comes from being the youngest. Especially with the older three being closer in age. Curtis felt like it was his job to take care of her. She hated that.

She was twenty years old. She wasn’t a baby anymore, at least in her eyes. She was graduating college early in Decemeber. Her life was beginning and she was tired of being treated like she was a kid.

“Okay,” she mumbled as she pulled up her phone to read the DM from Luke. Her cheeks flushed as she stared towards the message. What’s the harm in giving him her number? There’s nothing wrong with being friends. Absolutely nothing wrong. Her mind kept weighing the pros and cons of giving it to him.

More she stared at the message, the more it became easier to believe that there was no harm in sending it. She sent it over to him and instantly dropped her phone onto her chest again.

“Can Jacob come over Friday?” she asked softly.

Shrugging his shoulders, “I don’t care, you don’t have to ask. This is your home too, you know,” he expressed as he finally looked in her direction.

Her eyes widened as she scoffed, “Oh, I didn’t know since you’re acting like Dad right now,” she offered while she stood up from the couch; holding her phone tightly in her hands.

“Oh come on,” Curtis offered while laughing.

“I’ve got papers to grade,” she mumbled as she walked towards the stairs. Her phone began to buzz in her hand.

Her eyebrows furrowed slightly as she stared towards the unknown number. Hesitantly answering the call, she brought it towards her ear.

“Uh–hey?”

“Uhm–hey it’s Luke,” he let out shyly. Her lips curled upward as she jogged up the stairs faster.

“Usually when you give a guy your number, he texts first instead of calling,” she teased as she turned the corner to her room. She shut the door and walked towards her desk where there were only about fifteen papers left for her to get done.

“I don’t like texting,” he said simply. She let out a soft chuckle as she sat at the desk. Y/N took a hold of her airpods and put them into her ear.

“What if we don’t have anything to talk about?” she questioned as she rested her phone down beside her as she stared towards the essay in front of her. There was a reference sheet beside her to assist in the grading process.

“There’s always something to talk about with the right person,” he let out teasingly.

“And you’re the right person?” she offered as she tapped the back of her pen against the paper.

“Oh definitely, I’ve been told I never shut up,” he shot back. She rolled her eyes playfully.

“Me too actually,” she muttered while glancing down towards her watch. He chuckled. “You know, I’m not supposed to talk to you,” she offered as she began to read the essay in front of her.

“Ah right, the whole teammate thing?” he offered to her.

She fixed one of the grammar mistakes before replying. “I can’t even ask about you or he gets mad,” she offered to him as she continued to read through the page.

“You asked about me?” he asked softly.

“Maybe,” she let out fighting a grin on her lips.

“What did you ask?” he asked, an obvious smirk toying to his lips.

“Don’t worry about it,” she said through her own grin.

“Aw come on,”

“Didn’t get an answer, doesn’t matter,”

“Maybe I can give you an answer,”

“Don’t think so,”

“No?”

“Nope,” she drew out the word as she felt her body cascade with heat.

“Ask me another question then,” he offered through a small chuckle.

“Like what?” she asked teasingly.

“Uhm–you could be like, ‘Luke, do you have any plans tomorrow night?’ and I’ll be like no I don’t, we should hang out or something,” he let out sarcastically. She rolled her eyes playfully.

“Did you forget the part where I am not supposed to talk to you,” she let out as she leaned back into the chair. He laughed so genuinely that she felt her heart literally skip a beat in the process.

“You know, we could hang out as friends. There’s no rule against that,”

“Yeah, right–right,” she let out with a wide grin, “But–uh–let’s stick to the phone for now, okay?” she expressed with a nervous laugh falling from her lips. “That way we can at least nod along when my brother asks questions, okay?”

Luke barked out a laugh. “I’m good with that. Curtis is having another team hangout before the back to back this weekend. So I’ll see you then,” he let out, a tone in his voice she couldn’t quite detect.

“What’s that supposed to mean?” she asked teasingly.

She could hear him snicker on his end of the phone as she kept rereading the same sentence on the essay in front of her. Her heart was slamming against her chest, she was convinced that she would pass out from how busy her heart has been all day.

“You live there, so I’ll see you then,” he mumbled teasingly.

“Oh,” she mumbled as she tilted her head back, “What if I am shunned to my room again?” she asked teasingly.

“You’ll find a way to see me,” he let out while smirking.

Her mouth fell open as a soft gasp fell from her lips. Her cheeks instantly ran warm as she clamped her mouth shut. “I’m gonna hang up now,”

“Why?” he asked softly.

“I have a lot of work to do and you are very distracting. I can’t focus with you–talking, so I’ll be hanging up now, goodbye Luke,” she offered. He let out another soft laugh.

“Goodbye Y/N, I’ll talk to you later,” he offered. She tapped the phone screen, hitting the red button. A huff of air left her lips, a breath she didn’t realize she was holding.

Pressing her lips together, she stared straight ahead. Her mind picturing that beautiful smile on his lips. He had the most perfect smile, the most perfect lopsided smile. She pulled her phone back up to begin to play music in the background. Doing everything in her power to push him and his perfect face away from her mind.

She forced her gaze back to the essay her freshman student wrote. This time actually ready and comprehending what the student wrote. She kept breathing heavy trying to slow her heart down.

~~~

Something about today had her students off the walls bonkers. She was already exhausted from not being able to sleep last night. The entire night she tossed and turned while his voice replayed in her mind.

You’ll fine a way to see me.

What the hell did he mean by that? She couldn’t get his voice out of her mind. His voice was like silk against her skin, her body was overwhelmingly hot, thinking about it.

She sat in the teacher’s lounge craving silence. Her head was pounding and the three Advils she took were not working. There was a slim second of sweet silence and it was instantly ruined by Jacob storming into the lounge.

“Best day ever! My students love me, Mrs. Bernard loves me and I love my job. Best day ever!” he expressed as he happily sat down beside her, slamming his lunch box onto the table. A huff of air left his lips as he shook his head slightly. “God, I love lunch!” he let out while he zipped his bag open.

“Why are you so loud?” she let out while shaking her head slowly.

“Are you hungover?” he asked in a hushed tone.

“No, I am not. I am just tired,”

“Is there a specific person–reason why you are tired?” he asked teasingly. Her mouth fell open while shaking her head slightly.

“I am exhausted and all I have wanted all day was some quiet. You are not helping me,” she said with a soft dry laugh leaving her lips. Jacob dramatically rolled his eyes before he took a bite of his sandwich.

“You didn’t deny that a person was keeping you up all night,” Jacob said with a mouth full.

“If I tell you will you let me sit in silence for like ten minutes,” she offered. Jacob nodded encouragingly.

She went in detail over the two minute long conversation she had with him. How he was stuck in her mind for the entire night. How intoxicating his gaze was and how his voice caused her heart to beat rapidly. How perfect his smile was and how it was impossible to push him from her mind.

She talked about their texting they did all day yesterday. Y/N explained how Curtis was completely not on board with her even talking about him. She talked about how she gave Luke her number anyway. She explained how he was clearly flirting with her and Jacob was ecstatic hearing that.

“Why not let him take you out!” Jacob asked while slamming his hands against the table. Her eyes widened while shaking her head slowly. “I mean he’s hot and he’s a professional athlete. He also seems charming and funny,” Jacob explained.

“There’s a bright red target on my forehead. There is no way I am getting involved with him,” she explained while glancing down towards her phone screen. A text from Luke waiting for her.

“Oh but you want to, oh you want to so bad,” Jacob teased.

“Okay, I explained and now I deserve silence!” she offered before she took a hold of her phone to reply to Luke. Jacob’s mouth fell open before he began to fight off the grin.

“You deserve silence, you’re right,” Jacob offered before he took a large bite of his food. “But you have to at least kiss him once–”

“Jacob, I swear to god stop!” she said while laughing. “We’re not going to be kissing, we’re not going to be doing anything other than texting.”

“Texting or–”

“If you finish that sentence, I will never talk to you again,” Y/N offered as she hit send on her message to him. She placed her phone face down onto the table before she met Jacob’s gaze. He chuckled as he pursed his lips forward while chuckling.

~~~

Over the last few days, she would spend at least an hour on the phone with Luke. Talking about anything and everything.

He would talk about his life before he moved to New Jersey. How much he loved being at University of Michigan, his teammates. His life before the NHL, how sometimes he missed it. How he loved his new teammates and how welcoming they all have been. To her surprise, Curtis was one of the most welcoming. Despite being newer to the roster too.

She talked about her life at NYU. How she didn’t take a single semester off and focused solely on school. She’s graduating this fall since she took more credits than what was recommended for two years straight. She didn’t take a break. Student teaching was the closest thing to freedom to her. She was done spending every aspect of her life studying and attending classes. She was almost free and in her dream.

Their conversations flowed so easily that it felt like they had been friends for years. There was a lot of flirting. A lot of flirting. It was easy. She’s craved something easy like that for years.

She needed someone that was easy to get along with. Easy to think about, easy to want. Maybe even easy to need.

Yet he wasn’t supposed to be easy. Curtis made that perfectly clear.

Except right now she was deciding what outfit to wear while the living room was getting crowded with more Devils players. She was staring between the two tops to go with the dark wash jeans.

Tonight was yet another get together for the Devils roster and she was so nervous. Luke was right, she did find several reasons to see him. Meet his eye and occasionally talk to him. He loved teasing her about it over text, while he was still sitting in the living room.

There was a loud knock on her door and she jumped back and instantly took a hold of the shirt on the left. Quickly, she pulled the shirt onto her body, adjusting it as she pulled the door open to see Reanne standing there.

Reanne’s eyes widened as she scanned her sister-in-law’s frame. “You look hot,” she offered. Her mouth fell open as she pushed Y/N back into her bedroom. Reanne shut the door behind her. “Why do you look hot?” she let out quietly.

“Oh my god, why do you look hot?” she said while bouncing slightly.

Y/N mouth fell open as she shook her head slightly, searching for words to explain. Feeling defensive out of nowhere.

“I don’t look hot,” she offered. Reanne dramatically tossed her head back while rolling her eyes. “I look like I always do,” she defended.

“So this–” she pointed towards Y/N’s face covered in makeup, “And this–” as she waved her hand down her frame; over her outfit. “All of that has nothing to do with any of the boys down there,” she offered while pointing towards the carpet.

“Nope,” she replied while shaking her head side to side. She fought off a grin.

“Then why are you grinning?”

“I’m not grinning,”

“You so are!”

“Okay fine! I’m trying not to grin because–you know what I’m not gonna tell you!” she expressed as she sat down onto the bed, crossing her legs. Reanne groaned as flopped down onto the bed beside her.

“Why not?” she whined.

“Because you are going to make fun of me,” she offered as she squinted her eyes harshly.

“Well obviously, but I’m your sister-in-law that’s what I do!” she teased as she happily smacked her hand against Y/N’s thigh. “You know I can figure it out right? I’ll start listing the roster and your face will just tell me!” she continued.

Y/N rolled her eyes while shaking her head slightly.

“Nico Hischier? Dawson Mercer? John Marino? they’re older but I totally get it if–” Reanne teased.

“Will you stop! Oh my god!” Y/N let out awkwardly laughing.

“Jack Hughes?” she offered. Y/N’s eyes widened slightly as her smile widened. She shook her head slightly. “Oh my god it’s Luke isn’t it?!” Reanne teased as she happily smacked her hands against her leg.

“Shut up!” she said while laughing.

“Oh you so think he’s cute and you’re dressing all hot for him! You guys are gonna fall in love and it’s going to be so adorable!” Reanne spoke dreamlike. “I should’ve known, you love them a little–”

“Fine! Fine, fine, fine! I think he’s cute, okay?” Y/N let out while laughing.

“Curtis adores Luke, oh this amazing!”

“I asked Curtis about Luke the other day and he shut me down instantly, are you sure?” Y/N asked while falling on her back.

“You are his baby sister!” Reanne said while sitting up slightly. “And don’t you pull the whole I’m not a kid anymore blah blah blah. You will forever be his baby sister who he doesn’t want his slutty teammates around.” she explained while standing up from the bed. “But you know who’s not slutty? Who’s actually kind and sweet and cute and definitely so ready to fall in love with you!”

“We’re not going to fall in love!” she countered as she stood up from the bed, facing Reanne.

“Oh you are so gonna fall in love with Luke Hughes,”

“I’ve known him for like a week!”

“That’s why I said gonna! You are so gonna fall in love with Luke Hughes!” Reanne teased while jumping up and down slightly.

“I hate you,” Y/N let out as she took a hold of the door and pulled it open slightly.

“Will you hate me less if I promise to keep this to myself,” Reanne whispered as she grinned widely. Y/N nodded before she began walking towards the stairs. Reanne giggled to herself as she walked towards her youngest son’s room.

Y/N took a deep breath as she ran her fingers through her hair. It was loud in the living room as the entire roster was mingley in the living room. There was another hockey game on the screen but she couldn’t make out the teams since there were seven guys surrounding the TV.

Scanning the group, she was searching for him. Exactly like the last time the crowd was at the house. Her steps down the stairs turned a few heads. Notably, Luke was staring in her direction. As subtly as he could. His lips curled upward as she climbed down the steps. Meeting his eye, her smiled widened before she forced her gaze towards the ground.

“Y/N, food’s in the kitchen!” Curtis shouted towards her before he returned his gaze towards the screen in front of him. She nodded towards him before she manuvered through the crowd.

“I’ll be back,” Luke mumbled towards Jack and Dawson. Jack glanced towards the direction that Luke was staring towards. Noticing Curtis’s baby sister being Luke’s line of sight.

“Careful Lukey,” Jack let out loudly. Luke waved his hand behind him towards Jack as he continued following after Y/N.

Y/N stood near the table, staring towards the trays of food on the dining table. It was the same exact trays of food that Curtis always orders for every night he has the roster over. A sigh fell from her lips as she reluctantly took a hold of the paper plate.

Instead of adding food to her plate, she put it back down onto the stack and spun around. Her eyes widened once she saw Luke standing on the other side of the kitchen. Taking a deep breath, she looked into his eyes. Her mouth fell open as she searched for something to say.

A smirk formed to his lips as he glanced behind him. “Wanna get out of here?” he asked softly. Furrowing her eyebrows harshly, she shook her head slightly. “Do you want to go get out of here?” he asked again, taking a step towards her. He crossed his arms over his chest. Her heart was pounding hard against her chest.

“What are you doing?” she asked softly. He took a deep breath as he pursed his lips foward.

“Curtis is busy watching my brother kick the Panther’s ass, do you want to go take a walk or go on a ride?” Luke offered as he took a few more steps towards her; closing the distance between them.

A teasing smirk formed to her lips as she glanced towards the living room, “The Canucks are on? I’m sorta more interested in tha–” she offered as she slowly began to walk pass him. He chuckled as he took a delicate hold of her waist, pulling her towards him. Her eyes widened. “Bold move, do you know how many wandering eyes are here?”

“Let them wander or let’s get out of here,” he whispered as he looked deeply into her eyes.

“Bold move, we just met you know,” she whispered back.

“We’ve talked on the phone for several hours every night this week, I feel like that excuse is out the window,” he expressed.

Her lips fell into a dramatic pout as she tilted her head to the side.

Looking behind him, he saw that everyone was preoccupied with themselves in the living room. He leaned down, “Let me get to know you then,” he whispered into her ear. Slowly, he pulled back; taking a few steps away.

“What if they notice that you’re gone?” she teased as he walked towards the back door. She took a few steps after him.

“Jack will cover for me,” he offered as he slowly pulled the glass door open. He stepped out of the door, maintaining eye contact. Taking in a deep breath, she followed after him. He stepped backwards, fighting a grin as she closed the glass door behind her.

He pulled his keys from his pocket as he slowed his steps to walk beside her. “I was thinking we could go for a drive, grab some food or ice cream,” he offered as he looked down towards her.

“Are you always this pushy and flirty with your teammates’ sisters?” she offered with a smirk toying to her lips. She crossed her arms over her chest as she met his gaze.

“Only the pretty ones,” he said while tilting his head to the side. She rolled her eyes playfully. “But I don’t usually go out of my way to talk to any girl, let alone a teammate’s sister,” he explained while he unlocked his car and pulled open the passenger door.

She met his eye briefly before she climbed inside. She mumbled a thank you before she sat down. He smiled softly as he happily shut the door for her. He jogged around the front of the car and quickly climbed into the driver seat. He shifted his gaze towards her, smiling softy.

“You don’t go out of your way to talk to girls?” she questioned suspiciously. He nodded dramatically as he put his seatbelt on. “All you have to say is I’m Luke Hughes and I play for the Devils and girls will be all over you,” she offered while she put her own seatbelt on.

“Exactly,” he said as he began to click the dashboard, searching for a playlist to play. She chuckled awkwardly, “They see professional athletes and all the money that comes with it, The guys eat it up but I’d rather not,” he offered as he slowly began to pull away from the overwhelming amount of cars in front of the Lazar house.

“Girls fawning all over you and you’d rather not?” she teased, a soft chuckle falling from her lips.

“I would rather talk with you, are you fawning? I would rather you be fawning,” Luke teased as he kept his gaze straight ahead.

“You are so ridiculous, you know that?” she teased while admiring the soft smile on his lips. He chuckled as he continued driving ahead.

“You’re smiling,” he observed as he looked towards her. Their eyes met and she smirked.

“Just keep your eyes ahead,” she said while pointing her finger towards him. He pursed his lips forward as he stared in front of him.

“Ice cream or food?” he asked as he slowly turned the music up a few notches.

“Isn’t ice cream a kind of fo–”

“Oh my god, will you just decide?” he asked while laughing. She tossed her head back while laughing.

“Ice cream, always ice cream,” she offered as he was already pulling into the local ice cream shop. He smirked as he tapped his fingers against the steering wheel to the beat of the song.

“Noted,” he let out as he pulled up towards the long drive thru line. He shifted his gaze towards her. Their eyes remained connected as his lips parted slightly. She squinted her eyes slightly as she scanned his features. “What?” he asked softly as his gaze lowered towards her lips. She shook her head slightly as she dropped her gaze towards her lap.

“You make me nervous,” she let out softly as she began to twist the bracelet on her wrist. He bit his bottom lip as he fought of a grin as he looked over her side profile. “I don’t get nervous, usually I make other people nervous. But you make me nervous,”

“Why?” he asked barely above a whisper as he slowly pulled ahead in the drive thru lane.

She took a long dramatic deep breath as she pursed her lips forward. “You are very flirty,” she let out teasingly. He chuckled softly. “Very flirty and very pretty,”

“I can’t tell if that’s a good thing,” he offered as he waited for her to look towards him. Instead she kept her gaze on her lap.

“It would be a good thing if you weren’t you,” she expressed as she lifted her gaze up to meet his eye. His beautiful blue eyes that were so bright even in the dimly lit car.

“Ouch,” he let out with a dry chuckle.

“I meant–I mean if you weren’t my brother’s teammate,” she said while laughing.

“Curtis loves me, you know,” he let out as he raised his eyebrows slightly. “I think he would be happy to hear that I think his sister is incredibly beautiful.”

Her smile softened as she continued to look into his eyes. “Maybe,” she let out barely above a whisper. He smirked as he pulled up towards the menu, right before the window to order. He looked over it, keeping his head against the headrest so that she has a view of the menu as well.

~one month later~

Over the last month, if Luke had a free evening they would go for a drive and just talk. It was easy with him. Everything was easy with him. Conversations, flirting, eye contact that would lead to her heart slamming hard against her chest.

They have been hanging out behind Curtis’s back and she was starting to feel guilty. In all honesty, she had nothing to be guilty about. They haven’t even attempted to kiss or even hug. He drives and she sits in the passenger seat. They sing along to the radio, they flirt, and she was happy with that.

Until she had a dream. He was laying on her bed with only a pair of sweatpants covering his frame. She was sitting in his lap, with her hands trailing over his muscles. Her fingertips grazed over the curve of his biceps before she rested her hands on the base of neck. His hair was messily laid across his forehead as his hands were glided along her thighs. He was kneading the skin of the side of her thighs as she leaned towards him; kissing him urgently.

She hasn’t stopped thinking about it all day. Every time she shut her eyes, an image of his hands roaming her body flashed in her mind. She explained the dream to Jacob in grave detail and all he could tell her was that she should make her dream a reality.

She was sitting in her classroom, her mentor teacher sitting beside her. The students were gone for the day. Y/N’s gaze kept looking towards the clock, waiting until it was time to see Luke. Her mind was full of thought surrounding him. She couldn’t get him out of her head because of a stupid dream. A stupid subconscious thought that she couldn’t get out of her mind.

Her phone vibrated in her pocket and she quickly pulled it out to see a text from Luke. She grinned widely as she saw that he was asking if their plans were still set in stone. Her thumb hovered over the message as she tried to think of a clever way to reply.

“Y/N?” Mrs. Hansen said while keeping her gaze on her laptop. Y/N lifted her gaze, her eyes widened. “Who’s making you grin like that?” she asked teasingly.

“It’s stupid,” she offered while shaking her head slightly.

“You are smiling so wide that your cheeks look like they’re about to pop,” she observed while chuckling softly.

“Okay, so um–his name is Luke,” she began while finally meeting Mrs. Hansen. Her eyes widened as a smile formed to her lips. “And that’s all I will share,” she offered as she dropped her gaze back down towards her phone again.

“No fun, come on,” she begged. “My life is so boring, you’re young, tell me something exciting!”

Y/N tossed her head back and laughed, “Okay, okay. He’s my brother’s teammate,” she offered. Mrs. Hansen’s mouth fell open as a gasp fell from her lips. “I am not supposed to talk to him but I love talking with him,” she explained as a sigh fell from her lips.

“Of course you do because forbidden fruit is the best kind of fruit,” she expressed as she closed her laptop, shifting her attention fully towards Y/N. “Have you tasted this forbidden fruit?”

“Oh my god! You cannot ask me a question like that,” she expressed through laughter. “And no I haven’t,” she let out quietly.

“So when are you going to taste the fruit?” she asked while smirking slightly. She began to put her belongings into her bag. Y/N rolled her eyes as she took a deep breath.

“I am not going to taste anything,” Y/N said while tilting her head back. “My brother said no teammates so all we’re going to do is hang out and talk,”

“Right because that grin means you just want to talk,” she teased, “You’re going to kiss him tonight and you will tell me the whole story tomorrow morning,” she explained while standing up. She tossed her bag onto her shoulder while smirking.

“There will be no story,”

“Oh there will be a story, I’ll see you tomorrow morning,” she said while walking towards the exit, “Lock up when you leave,” her voice echoed from the hallway. Y/N leaned back in the chair as she shifted her gaze towards the ceiling.

Her phone started vibrating and she looked down towards her phone screen to see Luke calling her. She chuckled dryly before pulling her phone towards her ear.

“Instead of driving in a circle around Newark for hours, do you want to come over?” he questioned with an evident grin on his lips. Her heart started slamming hard against her chest.

“Uh, sure? I can head over now if you want,”

“That would be absolutely perfect,”

“Okay, I need your address,” she let out while standing up and taking a hold of her laptop and placing it into her bag. A soft chuckle fell from her lips as he began to shuffle on his end of the phone. She could hear him shout on his end of the phone towards Jack.

“I’ll send it over in like three seconds, see you soon?”

She could hear the smile on his lips from his end of the phone. “Yeah, yeah, I’ll be there,” she offered before she hung up the phone with a grin on her lips.

The drive over to his apartment took only ten minutes from her job. Except it was the longest ten minutes of her life. Her mind was exhausted from all of the thoughts about him circling his mind.

What was the apartment like? What was he like? What would he be like alone? Alone together in a room? In a room with a bed, of all places.

Her mind couldn’t stop thinking about what would Curtis think? He had to have an idea of what was happening. She was not exactly secretive. Y/N hasn’t deliberately stated who she was hanging out with but Curtis had to of had an idea.

It was easier to just say, going out and not mentioning who she was going with. He wouldn’t ask questions, didn’t want to be called dad again.

Here she was sitting in the guest parking spot, summoning all of the courage she had to go up to his apartment. She stared towards the text from her brother. Where are you? She pulled the phone towards her ear, listening to it ring slightly. She nodded as she waited for Curtis to answer.

“Did you crash or something?” he asked, instead of saying hello.

“I am going to Jacob’s, you don’t have to know my every movement,” she teased. He chuckled.

“Will you be back tonight?” he asked while laughing.

“Probably, I’ll be quiet to not wake the boys,” she offered. He let out a long dramatic sigh before ending the conversation briefly after that. She texted Luke that she was waiting in the parking garage, completely unsure of where she was supposed to go.

Without any hesitation, Luke texted her that he was already waiting for her in the lobby. A wide grin formed to her lips as she stared towards the message. She took a deep breath while she collected her small purse and her keys from the ignition.

There was a moment, she wanted to drive away. Right now she was playing a dangerous game. It was one thing when they were hanging out in his car. Limitations were there but now they were gone. She hated how much she liked him. It was something that she has been battling for the last few weeks but right now, she was excited.

The walk towards the lobby was fast as she could see Luke pacing in the center of the large room. She chuckled to herself as she pulled open the glass doors. Lifting his head, he grinned widely once he saw her.

Nervously, he ran his hand across his jaw as he scanned her frame. “Hey!” he let out excitedly. She smiled as she took a deep breath.

“This place is nice,” she offered while meeting his eye.

“Oh yeah, right?” he said while he pointed towards the elevator. She nodded while following after him. “How was work?” he asked softly while pushing the button several times.

“My students were freaking out about this amazing goal this player had the other night,” she offered teasingly. His eyes widened as a soft smirk formed to his lips. The elevator doors swung open and he allowed her to step inside first.

“What player?” he asked while pursing his lips forward. He side eyed her as he crossed his arms over his chest. She followed in pursuit as the doors shut and they began to climb to his floor.

“Oh this star rookie named Luke Hughes, have you ever heard of him?” she let out with a smirk. He dropped his head while laughing.

“No I haven’t,” he mumbled as he tilted his head to the side to fully meet her gaze. “Star rookie, you say?” he offered. Y/N tossed her head back while laughing.

“That’s the word my students used,” she mumbled as the doors pulled up to the floor of his apartment.

“Right, right,” he teased while he began walking out of the elevator. Quickly, he spun around meeting her gaze with a smile on his lips. “C’mon,” he mumbled as he guided her towards his apartment which was several doors down. “Have you eaten?” he asked as he walked up towards the door and pushed it open. Luke leaned his body against the door allowing her to step inside.

Her eyes widened when she saw Jack sitting on the couch watching the TV screen. The small smile on her lips faltered slightly as she met Jack’s gaze.

“Oh my god, you were serious,” Jack let out while laughing. Y/N squinted her eyes slightly while meeting Luke’s gaze briefly. “You are so in trouble,” Jack muttered as he took a hold of the TV remote and shut it off. “Hi Y/N…Lazar,” he teased as he walked down towards his bedroom.

Y/N dropped her head while laughing. “Hey Jack,” she muttered.

“I’m sorry about him,” Luke said as he leaned against the countertop of the kitchen. She shook her head slightly, a teasing grin on her lips. “I can order food or I can make us some dinner,” he questioned as he met her gaze.

She took a cautious step towards him, “You can cook?” she asked suspiciously. He nodded while scanning her frame.

“I am a great cook,” he offered as he pulled open the fridge door and began searching for something to make for them.

She smirked as she shifted awkwardly as she watched him pull out a thawed out pair of steaks. She squinted her gaze. “Was this your plan all along?”

His eyes widened as he slowly placed the package onto the counter. He shook his head slowly as he walked up towards her; smirking. He carefully took a hold of the small bag she was carrying. Her eyes smirked as she watched him slowly walk towards the small bit of counter space next to the fridge.

“Maybe,” he let out teasingly before he returned to the fridge. He continued to rummage through it. “Sit down, gorgeous,” he said nonchalantly as he pointed towards the island with a handful of chairs.

“You can’t call me that,” she said while laughing. Slowly, she sat down in one of the barstool chairs.

“Nope, you see I can actually,” he offered as he began to lay out everything he needed for his meal he was preparing. “Because I decided that I’m gonna stop pretending that we aren’t attracted to one another,” he offered, spinning away from her pulling out a comically large pan.

“You decided?” she said while crossing her arms over her chest. He hummed dramatically, “Oh so is this a date, then?” she offered.

He smirked as he leaned forward on the counter, he looked deeply into her eyes while he scanned her features. “Do you want it to be a date?” he asked as he tilted his head to the side. She shrugged as she fought off a grin. “What does that mean?” he asked as he took a handful steps around the countertop. He walked up towards her, maintaining eye contact.

“Do you want this to be a date or not?” he asked again quietly, slowly. He rested his hand onto the counter, directly beside her. Tilting her head to the side, she met his gaze. Her lips curled upward as she fought off another grin.

“Luke,” she mumbled. He hummed as he raised his eyebrows, his gaze lowering towards her lips. She shook her head slightly as she scanned his features. His cheeks were flushed red slightly as he continued to admire her lips. “Luke,” she muttered. He hummed again while leaning towards her. Her breathing caught in her throat as she tilted her head back.

Her lips curled upward slightly as she lifted her gaze and met his eye. Delicately, he raised his hand up and brushed a few pieces of hair away from her face. Their eyes remained connected as breathing felt impossible. This was the first time they’ve been this close to one another.

Her entire body erupted into tingles as she watched him pull back slightly. He pursed his lips forward while taking a deep breath. He began walking around the counter towards the food he had laid out on the counter. He began to take the steaks out of the packaging.

She took a shaky breath as her posture straightened. “You’re annoying, you know that?” she let out breathily.

“How do you like your steak cooked?” he asked, meeting her eye. He had a wide teasing grin on his lips.

“So you’re gonna pretend like you didn’t just–” she trailed off as his cheeks flushed red. He simply shrugged as he began to apply seasoning to the steaks. “Medium rare,” she muttered.

“Amazing,” he let out as he continued to season the steaks. “What made you want to become a teacher?”

For the next two hours, they would talk about anything and everything. The dinner that Luke made was exceptional. It was definitely surprising with how good everything tasted. He was proud of himself, especially since she thought it was amazing. Jack was jealous that Luke didn’t make enough for him and left the apartment to get his own meal.

“I’ve never had a guy cook for me before,” she let out as she stood up and took a hold of her plate. He smirked as he stood up with her, taking a hold of his own plate. He pointed towards the sink and she followed him towards that direction.

“And how was it?” he asked as he placed his plate into the sink, she followed in pursuit. He began to rinse the plates as he met her gaze.

“Really good, I’m expecting it every time I come over now,” she teased as she rested her hand onto the counter as she looked over his side profile. A small smile formed to his lips as he turned the sink off as he shifted his gaze towards her.

“Oh, so you’ll be coming over more often?” he asked teasingly.

“Only if you cook for me,” she shot back.

“Absolutely,” he mumbled as he scanned her features. He took a deep breath as he bit his bottom lip as he stepped back. “What time do you need to be home?” he asked softly. She shrugged.

“Whenever you get tired of me,” she offered. He rolled his eyes dramatically as he began walking backwards. He waved his hand for her to follow him. She chuckled softly as she allowed him to guide her towards his bedroom. Her entire body erupted into goosebumps as she took a deep breath.

“I could never get tired of you,” he muttered as he pushed the door open, pressing his back against it. She met his gaze as she slowly walked past him into his bedroom. He followed after her, shutting the door; twisting the lock in the process. “We could watch a movie or a show or not watch anything,”

She stared towards him suspiciously. His mouth fell open as he barked out a laugh.

“I meant–I didn’t mean–um–” he stuttered as he crossed his arms over his chest. His cheeks were bright red as he fought off a grin. She took a small step towards him, tilting her head to the side.

“What are you thinking?” she asked softly as she continued to look into his eyes. He shyly dropped his gaze towards the floor for only a few seconds. He bit his bottom lip as he shrugged his shoulders. “Do you want to know what I’m thinking?” she asked softly, taking another step towards him.

He nodded as he slowly let his arms hang at his side. His hands hovered around her frame for only a second before they hung beside him. “I’m thinking that you should kiss me,” she offered as she took another small step towards him. Their faces only a few inches apart.

“I should?” he asked softly. A wide smile formed to her lips as she stepped back away from him, towards his bed. Quickly, he followed after.

She chuckled as she rolled her eyes playfully. “Are you all talk, Lukey Boy?” she teased as the backs of her legs hit the mattress. He squinted his eyes as he took a hold of her waist. His hands slowly glided along her hips towards the small of her back. Her eyes widened while her hands rested on his chest as she glided her hands along his chest.

He scanned her features as his cold fingertips dipped beneath her shirt, feeling her skin. Her breath caught in her throat as her eyes dipped towards his lips. “All talk, huh?” he shot back as he tightened his grip along the small of her back. She hummed as her hands ran up his chest onto his neck.

“I think so,” she said as she fought off a smirk. He nodded slowly as he slipped his hands away from her frame as he stepped back. His heart was slamming against his chest. He looked her body up and down as he took a deep breath.

“Lay down,” he said simply as he pointed towards his bed. Squinted her eyes harshly, her mouth fell open.

“What?” she let out softly, her cheeks ran hot as she stayed still.

“Lay down,” he said again as he stepped towards her. She fought off a grin as she slowly sat down onto the bed. She looked up towards him, her heart was beating urgently. She swallowed harshly as she kept looking up towards him.

He smirked as he watched her slowly slide back on the bed. He ran his hands through his hair as he slowly walked towards the bed. Y/N leaned back on her elbows as she waited for him.

“You think I am all talk, huh?” he muttered as he slowly climbed on top of her, resting both of his hands on either side of her head. She nodded teasingly as she smirked. He nodded as he stared towards her lips.

“You’ve been so afraid of Curtis finding out that we even speak to one another. Let alone like this. I’ve been waiting for you to let this happen. But I’m all talk, huh?” he let out teasingly as he leaned towards her.

A soft smile on her lips formed as he delicately leaned closer and closer to her. Her eyes fluttered shut as he brushed his lips against her ear. “Let me show you,” he whispered.

Delicately, he pressed his lips against her jawline, her cheek, teasingly pressing wet kisses along her skin. Slowly and purposely avoiding her lips; watching her squirm beneath him. His nose bumped against hers as he hovered his lips over hers.

“Are you going to show me or not?” she forced out as her breathing was starting to get uneven. He chuckled as he pulled back slightly. Her hands took a hold of his neck, practically begging for him to kiss her.

“Not very patient are you?” he teased with a smirk. She rolled her eyes playfully as her hands glided through his hair.

Leaning towards her, he smirked as his lips brushed against hers. Her lips twitched upward into a soft smile. He pulled back, a smirk toying to his lips. “What are you doing?” she asked softly. He shook his head slowly as he pursed his lips forward slightly. “Are you trying to make me kiss you?” she asked softly as her hands continued running through his hair.

“Trying to see if you really want it,” he whispered, fighting a smirk.

She chuckled softly as she pulled him towards her, kissing him urgently. He smiled into the kiss as he giggled against her lips. Her hands tugged at his curls as she parted her lips. He deepened the kiss as he took a hold of her cheek as he ran his thumb along her cheek.

“Does that work?” she mumbled against his lips, he chuckled as he pulled back away from her lips. Her eyes slowly opened as she ran her thumbs along his jawline. He smirked as he scanned her features. He hummed as he pressed his lips together.

Slowly, he leaned down pressing his lips against hers softly as he continued to take a hold of her cheek. She’s dreamed about what it would be like to kiss him but nothing matches the actual feeling and desperation of his lips against hers.

After a few seconds, he pulled his lips away from hers as he leaned back to take a hold of his shirt. He tossed it to the floor as he met her gaze again. He smiled before he climbed back on top of her, kissing her desperately. Arching her back into him, he took a loose hold of her t-shirt hiking it up her body. His hand took a hold of her waist, pinning her against the bed.

Her hands glided along his chest and across his shoulders. Slowly, he pulled his lips away from hers, he watched her eyes slowly flicker open. Her hand glanded along his neck and into her hair.

“What?” she asked softly. He pursed his lips forward as he scanned her features.

“You’re just–” he trailed off before he leaned closer to her, delicately pressing his lips against hers. A hum fell from her lips as her hands ran through his hair, tugging the curls every few seconds.

~two weeks later~

She sat in the living room, a book for her class in her hand. She was reading it and highlighting important things to talk about with the students. Reanne and Y/N were watching the game against the Canucks.

All day Luke was talking about how nervous he was about playing against Quinn. It was halfway through the second period and the goals had slowed down. The Devils were up by two goals and all of the boys were flying on the ice.

Reanne has noticed a change with Y/N over the last few weeks. Y/N hasn’t given Reanne any details but everything about her has changed. Curtis was not as observant as Reanne and had no clue.

“Suprised you’re not going to Jacob’s tonight,” Reanne said as she watched Luke on the screen. The broadcast was talking about his impact on the game, despite not being on the scoresheet. Y/N lifted her head from the book, meeting Reanne’s gaze. Y/N mouth fell open as she took a deep breath.

“He’s got a date tonight,” she let out. It wasn’t a lie, Jacob was out on a date with a guy he met the other night. Her time over the last few weeks was split between Jacob and Luke. When she didn’t have to babysit for the games she would be out in a bar with Jacob. But if it was a regular night, she would be at Luke’s.

“Right,” she mumbled as she turned her gaze towards the TV, watching the camera follow after the puck. “Or is it because Luke is in Vancouver tonight,” she offered teasingly. Y/N’s eyes widened as her mouth fell open.

“I’m not lying, Jacob really does have a date,” Y/N let out as she closed the book and placed it beside her on the couch. “But–uh–yeah maybe,” she whispered. Reanne shot up from the couch and immediately took fast steps towards Y/N. She took a deep breath as she tilted her head back against the couch.

“Details, now,” Reanne begged.

Y/N let out a long dramatic sigh as she looked into Reanne’s eyes. “What kind of details?” she asked softly. Reanne excitedly tapped her hands against Y/N”s thigh. “Okay, okay, okay!” she expressed while laughing.

“I went over to his place a couple weeks back and he cooked me dinner and then we–”

“He cooked for you!?” she asked with a wide smile.

“He’s done it every time I’ve been over there since,” she offered as she twisted the silver charm bracelet.

“That’s so sweet, Curtis still doesn’t know how to cook,” Reanne said while laughing.

“He’s so sweet,” Y/N expressed while meeting Reanne’s gaze.

“Are you guys together?” Reanne asked hopefully.

Y/N took a deep breath while shaking her head slightly, “We’re just enjoying each other’s company,” she explained as a smirk began to form to her lips. Reanne’s eyes widened as she scooted closer to her.

“We haven’t yet–if that’s what you’re thinking,” she trailed off as her gaze looked back towards the screen to see one of the Canucks players heading to the box with less than a minute left in the second period. “We’ve just been–”

“If you say enjoying each other’s company one more time,” Reanne teased, “Details! What’s the story?”

Y/N kept her gaze on the screen to see Luke wrist the puck towards the net and score. Her hands shot up in the air as a giggle fell from her lips. “This game is so awesome,” she mumbled quietly. Y/N watched the screen, her eyes widened as a soft smile formed to her lips as the camera followed after him.

Reanne watched her youngest sister-in-law stare so fondly towards the screen. The grin was soft yet wide. Her posture straightened as she tilted her head to the side. Reanne has seen Y/N fall in love at a young age but never like this. Never so soft and simple. Y/N’s eyes looked bright and soft at the same time. Luke disappeared from the screen and Y/N shifted her gaze towards Reanne.

“What?” Y/N asked softly.

Reanne shook her head as she took a deep breath. “Just put your nose back into that book,” Reanne teased as she shifted her gaze back towards the TV screen watching the game head into the second intermission. Y/N chuckled softly as she took a hold of the small book and dropped the yellow highlighter into her lap.

The game ended in a beautiful win for the Devils and it was well past midnight as she was waiting for his call. Luke promised that he would call after the game ended; kept saying that he needed to hear her voice.

Reanne was sitting on the other couch on the phone with Curtis, he was on speaker as he was trying to talk to Y/N too. But her mind was busy as she was trying to figure out why Luke hadn't called yet. She had finished the book she was supposed to read ahead of time since tomorrow they were starting it in the class she was student teaching in.

She was waiting to tell Curtis and Reanne that they offered a full time position after her student teaching was done. Her mentor teacher had requested a second teacher and they found that Y/N would be perfect for the part.

“Y/N?” she heard Curtis say through the phone.

“Yeah?” she shouted towards it.

“You’re normally out when we have away games, what are you doing at home?” he asked with a soft chuckle leaving his lips. Reanne’s eyes widened as she glanced down towards the phone in her hand; almost as if sending Curtis a warning.

“Jacob has a date,” she let out simply, again since it was not a lie. Almost on cue, Luke started calling her. A wide grin formed to her lips as she shot up from the couch and jogged towards the stairs. “Hey,” she let out into the phone.

“Who’s she talking to?” he asked Reanne.

“Not sure,” Reanne mumbled. She hated lying to Curtis but it wasn’t lying if she was pretending she didn’t know either. It was definitely lying but if he ever found out, he’ll get over it eventually.

“Did you see my goal?” he asked shyly. She chuckled as she continued up the steps, slightly out of breath.

“It was amazing,” she let out as she shut the door and twisted the lock.

“Yeah?” he asked. His voice was slightly muffled, like Curtis’s. She assumed they were all out at dinner.

“It just so happened to be the only goal I actually saw without needing a replay,” she offered while laughing.

“That’s right, you had that book to read. Was it good?” he asked, quickly mumbling a thank you towards the restaurant staff; she assumed.

“It wasn’t bad, what are you all up to?”

“Currently at dinner, just got our food,” he explained.

Her eyes widened, suddenly aware of the fact that Curtis was definitely also there. “Oh wow, enjoy your night. I’ll call you tomorrow?” she offered.

“Can I call you when I get back to the hotel?” he questioned, his heart slamming against his chest. She took a deep breath, it was already late but she agreed. “Okay, perfect,” he mumbled before he hung up the phone; his cheeks were bright red.

“Who was that, Rusty?” John asked teasingly as he nudged Luke’s shoulder. Luke’s eyes landed on Curtis who was only a few seats away from him. Curtis was looking towards him expectantly.

“Just–uhm–this girl I’ve been seeing,” he expressed before he quickly shoved a bite of food into his mouth.

“Rusty’s got a girlfriend!” Curtis teased, causing the table to cheer along. They wanted to watch Luke’s cheeks go red and grin like an idiot. Which he was for more reasons than one.

“Not my girlfriend,” he mumbled before he shoved more food into his mouth as he avoided Curtis’s gaze.

“She’s been over at our place every night we didn’t have a game,” Jack offered before he shoved a bite of food into his mouth. Luke shifted his gaze towards Jack, his eyes widening as if it was a warning. Jack simply smirked as he met Curtis’s gaze.

“What’s her name then, Rusty?” John teased as he teasingly punched Luke’s arm. Luke raised his hand up and pretended to zip his lips shut as he smirked towards John. “Oh come on,” he teased.

“A man doesn’t kiss and tell,” he let out with a teasing grin on his lips. The few teammates that heard him tossed their heads back and laughed.

“You can say her name at least,” Jack teasaed as he met Luke’s gaze. Luke shook his head slightly before he shoved another bite of food into his mouth. “Her name is–”

“Jack, I swear to god,” Luke let out, causing the guys that were listening to laugh.

“What’s so secretive, Rusty?” Curtis offered before he took a deep breath. Luke pursed his lips forward as he shook his head slowly. “Then what’s the name of the girl that’s got you all giddy,” he questioned again.

Luke took a deep breath as he pressed his lips together, he kept his gaze on his food as he contemplated on lying. The longer he avoided the answer, the longer his teammates would question him about it.

“It’s–uhm–Y/N, are you guys happy? Can we drop it?” he let out as confidently and as nonchalant as he could.

Curtis froze as he lifted his gaze and looked towards Luke. Luke took another bite of food as he glanced towards Curtis; practically trying to pretend it wasn’t his sister. Jack looked towards Curtis expectantly, trying to see if he caught on. Jack had promised Luke to keep his mouth shut, but he didn’t promise to not tease Luke about it.

“My baby sister’s name is Y/N,” Curtis let out as he brought his water towards his lips, baiting Luke slightly.

“Yeah?” he let out, pretending not to know.

“Bit of a coincidence, huh?” Curtis offered as he kept the glass near his mouth.

“Yeah definitely,” Luke countered as John sparked up a different conversation.

For the rest of the dinner, Luke kept to himself. His mind was circling on the best way to explain to Y/N that he may have let it slip that they were together but not fully together. He had a feeling she would be upset or scared.

Luke knew that Curtis was all talk about his restrictions on the whole teammate thing. Curtis wanted Y/N to be happy and if Luke made her happy; he would get over it. Eventually.

Luke laid down onto the hotel bed with his phone in his hand. He took a deep breath as he began to FaceTime her. It took several rings before she answered. It was practically pitch black when she answered the call. He smiled once her saw the screen. He stood up from the bed and dramatically leaned against the light switch and turned off the light.

“Do you realize what time it is on the east coast?” she muttered out, her voice rasped slightly. He chuckled as he climbed under the covers, keeping his gaze on his phone despite the fact that he couldn’t even see her.

“You still answered,” he mumbled teasingly as he rolled onto his side. For a few seconds she didn’t say anything, Luke could still hear her steady breathing on her end of the phone. Almost as if she was asleep. He didn’t mind if she was, at least he got to hear her voice before he went to sleep.

“I’ve missed you,” she mumbled, her voice rasping slightly. His lips curled upward slightly as his eyelids started to get heavy.

“Really?” he asked softly. She hummed. “I’ve missed you too,” he let out as he took a deep breath. “Do you have a busy day tomorrow?” he asked while pulling the blanket up to his chin as he stared towards the still blackout screen. She hummed. “I’ll let you go to sleep, I’ll call you tomorrow?” he let out.

“No, tell me about the game,” She mumbled, “I wanna hear your voice. Don’t be mad if I fall asleep, I’m really tired,” she said with a soft chuckle.

“Are you sure?” he asked quietly, she hummed as a reply. “Okay, so I was super nervous–”

~February~

She graduated college in December and started a full-time job at her school as a co-teacher with her mentor teacher. Mrs. Hansen had requested that Y/N be her co-teacher until the year finished out. Since it was her last year before retirement, Y/N would be taking Mrs. Hansen’s job.

Luke and Y/N never put a label onto what they were doing yet it was mutually agreed upon that they were together. Boyfriend and girlfriend. Only four people knew about it. Jack, Jacob, Mrs. Hansen, and Reanne.

Although Luke had a feeling that Curtis knew. Ever since that dinner where he told his teammates the name of the girl he was seeing; Curtis had to have known. But there is nothing different between them.

This weekend was the All-Star game which meant that Curtis, Reanne, and their sons were on vacation in Flordia. They offered for Y/N to come with them but she wanted to stay back. More specifically, she wanted to stay back and be with Luke.

She stood in the kitchen as she was preparing food for Luke. She was blasting music all throughout the house as she was stirring the sauce. She hummed along to the song as she waited for Luke to show up.

This was the first time he was spending the night at her house. Usually, she would go over to his place to avoid Curtis finding out. But since he was out of town, it was time to finally let Luke stay the night. There was a loud knock against the door. A grin formed to her lips as she placed the spatula beside the pan.

She took fast steps out of the kitchen towards the living room and the front door. After a few seconds she reached towards the front door and pulled it open to see Luke standing at the door waiting for her. He grinned as he tilted his head to the side. He awkwardly kept a hold of his bag with his clothes.

“Hey beautiful,” he expressed softly. Y/N chuckled as she practically leaped into his arms. He wrapped his free hand around her, lifting her up from the ground. Slowly, he guided her into the house, letting the door shut behind them.

“Hey pretty boy,” she whispered as she pressed her lips against his jawline. Delicately, he placed her back down onto the ground. She pulled back, meeting his gaze as he tossed his bag onto the bottom step.

He smirked as he scanned her features, “Are you cooking for me?” he asked teasingly. She nodded slowly as she slowly walked backwards. “You didn’t have to do that,” he mumbled as he followed after her. Spinning around, she walked quickly back towards the kitchen. Singing along to the country song playing in the background.

A soft chuckle fell from his lips as he followed after her. She swayed back and forth to the beat of the song and continued to sing. Luke leaned against the countertop as he watched her with so much admiration.

She was the most beautiful woman he’s ever seen. It seemed like every moment, every passing second she was getting more and more beautiful. He never liked the idea of falling for someone, especially someone who was off limits. He never wanted to keep someone a secret. Luke was the type of guy that wanted to shout it from the rooftops that he was in love. Especially with a person who was as extraordinary as her.

“Dinner should be done in twenty minutes but–” she explained as she spun around to meet Luke’s gaze. Her eyes widened with the way his eyes were looking over her frame. “Why are you looking at me like that?” she asked teasingly as she stepped towards him. He shook his head slowly while he held his hands out towards her.

Y/N stepped towards him, allowing him to loop his hands around her waist. She rested her hands onto his chest as he pulled her closer to him. “Jacob wants to know if you want to go on a double date with him and Ryan to this trivia night thing,”

He squinted his eyes slightly while fighting a laugh climbing in his throat. “Trivia night? Really?” he asked barely above a whisper.

She chuckled as she wrapped her arms around the center of his back. Her head was pressed against his chest as he tightened his grip around her waist. “I know but Jacob wants to meet you and he wants me to meet Ryan–so Jacob’s wonderful idea was trivia night,” she explained as he glided his hand through her hair for a moment. Slowly, she lifted her head to meet his gaze.

He raised one of his hands up and took a hold of her cheek. He leaned towards her, kissing her delicately. She hummed against his lips as she glided her hands along his frame towards his neck. Her hands rested on the base of his neck as he continued to pull her towards him.

“I’m fantastic at trivia,” he mumbled against her lips. She pulled back, her eyes flickering open slightly. Her lips curled up into a smirk.

“Really?” she asked teasingly.

“Definitely,” he nodded encouragingly, “Are we teaming up with Jacob and Ryan or are we going to be on our own?”

She chuckled, “I don’t know,”

“Jacob and Ryan better hope we’re in one big group because we will destroy,” he quickly spun her around by her waist, forcing her to lean against the countertop. Her eyes widened as her body was pressed against the countertop.

“I forgot how much of a nerd you are,” she teased. He rolled his eyes playfully as he leaned towards her, kissing her desperately. His hands glided down her frame, taking a hold of her thighs. She jumped slightly, allowing him to take a hold of her legs and delicately placed her down onto the countertop behind them. He pushed her legs apart as he stepped between her legs.

“My dinner,” she mumbled against his lips. He smirked as he stepped back, walking directly towards the stove. Instantly, he turned it off.

“We’ll worry about that later, come here,” he mumbled as he walked directly towards her again, devouring her lips in the process. A soft giggle fell from her lips as she ran her fingers through his hair.

His hands loosely wrapped around her waist as he tugged at the shirt covering her frame. Tilting her head back, slowly he began to trail his lips down her neck. He began to suck against the skin of her neck. “Luke,” she let out barely above a whisper. He hummed against her skin as he began to ride the shirt up her frame.

She wrapped her legs around his frame as he took a hold of her thighs. He lifted her up from the counter and began carrying her towards the living room as their lips connected again. He carried her towards the living room. Delicately, he placed her down onto the couch.

He glanced toward the window to see headlights driving up the driveway. “Is that Curtis?” he asked as he rested his hands onto his hips. She shot up, twisting her body slightly to see the car driving up the driveway. Her eyes widened as her heart began to slam hard against her chest.

“No, no, no, no, you have to go!” she let out as she stood up from the couch, pushing him delicately. “Not like this, no! He cannot find out like this,” she mumbled as she panickedly ran her fingers through her hair. “He wasn’t supposed to be home until Saturday, oh my god! You need to sneak out the back–”

“Y/N,” Luke took a hold of her waist, spinning her around to face him.

“He cannot find out like this!” she mumbled.

“I’m pretty sure he already knows,” he spoke softly as he rested his hands onto her hips.

“Curtis–”

“He knows what my car looks like, Y/N, he knows,” he explained while looking deeply into her eyes, trying to make her understand. Her eyes widened as she took a shaky breath.

“He’s gonna kill me,” she mumbled.

“He’ll kill me, not you,” he mumbled before he stepped back, awkwardly shoving his hands into his pocket.

It seemed like almost instantaneously the door was pushed open and Curtis stormed inside. Y/N spun around to see Curtis walking towards them. Luke pressed his lips together as he took a deep breath.

“You have got to be kidding me!” Curtis shouted as he stormed towards the pair. Y/N stood in between them.

“Curtis, wait!” Y/N mumbled as she held her hand out towards him.

“No! No! I told you–both of you–my baby sister, Luke seriously?!” Curtis shouted again as he looked between them.

“I–I know,” Luke muttered out as he looked between Y/N and Curtis.

“You know?! You know?! Seriously?! So you still decided to fuck my sister behind my back!” he shouted as he waved his hands dramatically.

“Curtis! Stop!” she let out as she pushed him back slightly. “It’s not like that–”

“What so that’s not what’s happening here?” he shouted while crossing his arms over his chest. “You have a hickey on your neck, for fuck sake!” he pointed towards the mark forming on the side of her neck. “Oh my god, my baby sister has a hickey on her neck–oh my god!” He walked around and began to pace.

“Curtis, will you shut up and listen!” Y/N shouted towards him.

“No, no because I told you that this is off limits! How long have you been fucking my sister?” He pointed his question directly towards Luke. Luke’s mouth fell open as he took a deep breath. He glanced towards Y/N for assistance. “How long have you been fucking my sister!”

“It’s not just sex, Curtis!” she let out while crossing her arms over her chest. She glanced behind Curtis to see Reanne walking inside with their youngest son in her arms. Their older son was climbing up the stairs towards his bedroom.

“Then what is it?” Curtis asked, throwing his arms to the side.

“She’s my girlfriend,” Luke let out cautiously. Y/N whipped her head around, meeting Luke’s gaze. A soft smile on her lips for only a brief moment.

“Oh please,” Curtis let out dramatically as he tossed his head back.

“I’m falling in love with her, okay? I have been since the first time I saw her coming down those stairs! We didn’t tell you because you told her that I was not good for her because I am a Hughes or whatever! But I am good for her and I am falling in love with your sister so please be happy!” Luke expressed while taking a deep shaky breath.

Curtis shifted his gaze between Y/N and Luke for several seconds. Leaving Luke’s words up in the air. Luke looked towards Y/N and saw the smile on her lips.

“How long has this been going on?” Curtis asked as he pointed a finger between Luke and Y/N. Luke and Y/N awkwardly shifted closer to one another. They didn’t say anything at first while trying to decide the timeline.

“Since October!” Reanne shouted as she climbed down the steps, her youngest son still in her arms. Curtis spun around, looking towards his wife.

“You knew? You knew and didn’t tell me?” Curtis let out dramatically.

“If you didn’t know you chose not to see this happening,” Reanne teased as she walked up towards Curtis. “I mean how often did he disappear when he was over for team bonding? How often did Luke drive Jack to our house and then suddenly needed a ride home? You chose not to see it,” She explained while handing her son towards Curtis.

“I mean I practically told you but you didn’t listen,” Luke offered as he took a deep breath while he took a loose hold of her waist. Y/N grinned as she leaned her back against Luke’s chest. Reanne grinned as she rested her hands onto her hips.

Curtis bounced his son on his side as he looked towards Luke holding his sister close to his body. “When?” Curtis questioned while letting out a long sigh.

“When Johnny teased me about talking to her on the phone in Vancouver,” he began. Curtis’s mouth fell open while his cheeks pinked up. “I literally told you,” Luke teased as he dramatically pressed his lips to the top of her head.

“Yeah, I guess you did,” Curtis mumbled as he looked towards Y/N. She was running her hand across the top of Luke’s hand that was looped around her waist. “Does this mean you’ll be here all the time?” Curtis asked, scrunching his features up in disgust.

“Probably,” Luke let out with a wide grin.

“Wonderful,” Curtis let out teasingly.

“I’m going to go finish making what you were making,” Reanne offered as she began walking towards the kitchen.

Curtis looked towards his sister while taking a deep breath, “Can you at least not leave those in my line of sight,” he muttered as he pointed towards the hickey on her neck. Y/N tilted her head back as she let out a chuckle.

“No promises,” Luke teased as he pressed his lips against Y/N’s cheek.

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wndaswife · 3 days ago

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there’s no need to be brave | wanda maximoff & fem!reader

Sometimes things get to be too much, but you know you can always go to Wanda to feel safe and loved. She reminds you how important it is for you to be taken care of.

Word count: 3573

Tags: it’s all fluff, some humour, age gap, lightly implied age regression during one scene, wanda takes care of you and kisses you and is patient and loving and gentle

The front door rattled softly as you unlocked it. From the kitchen, Wanda looked up from her dinner preparation, anticipating your presence after coming from your afternoon classes.

She gave you the keys to her place a month ago when your classes didn’t align as much with her work hours as it did for your last semester. Now that you had the keys, it was easier to see each other without your schedules aligning.

You set down your bag in the living room, shedding your coat on top of it, before practically sliding your feet over to the kitchen lazily. You didn’t even lift your head; it was only the vague figure of Wanda that you needed in order to navigate around the counter and wrap your arms around her body.

Her arms were trapped under yours, forcing her to wiggle them out of your hold so she could hug you.

“Baby, are you alright?” she asked, her voice light but her tone concerned.

You buried your face in her chest. You had meant to reply to her question, but as soon as you opened your mouth you no longer wanted to answer, so you mumbled incoherently into her soft breasts.

“Sweetheart,” Wanda tried again, leaning back to get a look at you.

Finally, you lifted your head, squinting as you looked up at her in the light of the kitchen. She immediately cupped your face with both hands, brushing back your hair.

“I hardly got any sleep last night,” you said, straightening so your face wasn’t in Wanda’s chest anymore but now facing her.

Her eyes followed yours as you looked around the kitchen while you spoke. One hand dropped to your shoulder, her thumb stroking you softly while her other hand remained cupping your cheek.

“Yesterday, I woke up at eight to study, then last night I slept for two hours before my nine a.m. class, then took an hour nap between classes, and my head hurts and I think I’m getting tunnel vision and I’m scared I’m gonna start hallucinating soon, because isn’t that a sign of sleep deprivation?”

Wanda opened her mouth to say something, but you continued.

“At least I’ve eaten, but I don’t know if it’s enough, because I was still hungry while coming over here, and I can’t go home because they’re fixing the hydro so I don’t have running water until midnight — I don’t know why they scheduled the construction in the middle of the day — and I want to shower, and it was so cold outside–”

Suddenly the hand that had been cupping your cheek was over your mouth, and you finally looked at Wanda who was staring at you with a gentle gaze. Upon meeting her eyes she smiled at you, so subtly that the corners of her eyes crinkled just slightly.

Slowly, she put down her hand then wrapped that arm around your waist, holding you against her. She dropped her other hand from your shoulder and held your hand.

“You can shower here. My water is working just fine,” she said slowly. “I’m preparing dinner now, so stay over tonight and we can eat a proper meal together. If you’re hungry now, anything in the kitchen is yours.”

She watched your expression relax and your shoulders untense, and she smiled a little when you tried to shuffle closer although you were already standing against her.

“Take another nap, baby. Shower in my room then sleep in my bed.”

You nodded wordlessly.

As your face relaxed and when your mind seemed much less troubled, Wanda took a good look at you. She stroked your hand with her thumb.

“You do look tired…” she said sympathetically. “Please go up to shower — it’ll relax you. Are you still hungry? I can make something for you before you have your nap. I’ll go up after you’ve finished showering.”

Internally, you felt like teasing her for how she was very much talking to you like you were her child. But oh, how badly you just wanted to be taken care of like a child.

You nodded again, looking up at her.

Then, at the sight of her face, her pretty face and her beautiful eyes, and her soft hair and the slope of her nose and the line and curl of her lips, you leaned in for a kiss.

Wanda pulled back slightly, and your eyes darted up from her lips to her eyes. She let go of your hand, lifting her own in front of your face, wiggling her fingers a little.

“Don’t lick your lips; I was handling raw meat before you came in and I touched your face,” she warned, smiling guiltily.

You looked over to the counter and saw Wanda’s bowl of ground meat, and around it, her spices and other vegetables she had yet to prepare.

At the sight of your to-be dinner and the idea of Wanda preparing it and cooking it all up, you laid your head on her shoulder and buried your face in her neck.

“Oh, doll…” she whispered, cradling the back of your head as you tucked your face under her jaw.

“Now you’ll have to shower, right? Because I rubbed raw meat on your neck?”

Maybe you were imagining it, but you could hear Wanda’s grin forming even though your face was buried in her neck. When she spoke next, you were at least sure that she was speaking while grinning.

“Is that what you were doing?” she asked. “You could’ve just asked.

Wanda tucked your hair back, exposing the side of your face. She kissed your temple. “Give me a few minutes to finish with the meat, so I can refrigerate it. Wait for me upstairs.”

After some minutes, Wanda found you sitting on the edge of the tub waiting for her. She smiled at the sight of you wrapped in a towel, looking up at her as she entered.

Eagerly, you all but lept from your spot and turned to run the shower, testing it with your hand until it became warm while Wanda undressed behind you.

When she had taken all her clothes off, she approached you and undid your towel before laying it on the sink.

You turned, wrapping your arms around her, feeling her smooth bare skin immediately warming your own upon contact with her.

“I washed my face,” you informed her before squeezing your eyes shut and puckering out your lips.

A soft kiss was then pressed to your lips, your lips relaxing from its puckering. Wanda’s hand came to your cheek, her thumb brushing against your cheekbone tenderly.

“My sweet girl…” she whispered softly as she parted from the kiss.

In the shower, Wanda washed your hair with her shampoo instead of yours.

“I’m… feeling kinda…” you started quietly, looking down and playing with your fingers.

“Mmm?” Wanda hummed, busy with massaging her soapy fingers against your scalp.

“Kinda… little.”

”I know, baby,” she replied softly. “Just let me take care of you.“

You wondered if Wanda, too, imagined that she heard your smile when it formed bashfully at her response, like you had in the kitchen when you heard her grin.

Earlier, you had been planning to tell Wanda about the other things which had made you feel upset, like how you were behind in your readings and how you were almost certain you did terribly on your midterm paper.

But in the shower, all those things just disappeared.

A part of you worried for just a moment that Wanda might even think you were being silly or overly dramatic for being upset over only the things you mentioned earlier, so you figured you ought to tell her the whole story.

But when Wanda turned around and let you wash her hair, you knew there was no way she’d ever think that about you.

It made you feel like crying.

Really, you didn’t know why you felt the urge. Maybe it was because it was just a touching sentiment, or because you were overcome with how safe and cared for you felt, in the steam and warmth of Wanda’s shower, her hair in your hands, and her bare body just a few inches from you — Wanda just a few inches from you.

When she turned around to start washing your body after her hair was rinsed, her eyes fell upon your face for just a moment, and within that moment, you could tell that she noticed you looked like you were about to cry.

And when you really were about to cry, you didn’t notice yourself; it was Wanda’s immediate comforting that made you realize you were.

Then, at your soft hiccups, you knew for sure you were crying.

Her arms surrounded you, and you buried your face in her neck. Your damp cheeks blended with the wet warmth of her skin, making your face feel flushed.

“Shh, it’s okay now,” she spoke gently. Her arm wrapped around your waist had her warm palm against the middle of your back, her other cradling the back of your head. “I know it gets hard…”

You sniffled and opened your eyes, watching the water drip from the ends of Wanda’s hair through your bleary eyes.

“You’re tired and frustrated,” she said. “You just need to be taken care of, right?” She felt you nodding against her shoulder slightly.

“There we go. It’ll be alright, honey. All you need is a little bit of time.”

Your arms squeezed around her waist.

“I need you,” you insisted.

“I’m here, Y/N.”

Though you felt you didn’t need anything to eat until dinner, Wanda prepared a snack for you anyway, insisting that you eat something. You asked her to wake you up for dinner because you didn’t want it to get cold before you woke up.

You wanted to wear her pajamas too, so she picked out a comfy pair for you. You were practically beaming as you snuggled down into her neatly-made bed.

After a few minutes, Wanda came up with some apple slices and some peanut butter on the side. She told you to get to sleep right after eating, and you weren’t even worried you’d accidentally keep yourself up.

With dinner being prepared and Wanda promising to wake you up once it was finished, you snuggled into her bed, promptly falling asleep in her pajamas after eating the snack she put together for you.

Over dinner, now that you felt far more rested but still extremely eager to sleep cuddled up to Wanda soon, you spoke about her day, and very little about yours, since you didn’t want to think about it.

She sat beside you, touching you occasionally, her hand rubbing your shoulder as she spoke or playing with your fingers that were laying on your thigh.

She asked how you liked dinner, and scooted closer to you when you told her how much you liked it.

“When was the last time you had a full meal, baby?”

“A full meal?” you asked, thinking about what qualified as a full meal, let alone a meal at all.

She squeezed your hand as she took a drink from her glass. “One cooked in a kitchen, and warm.”

“Instant noodles in a pot, two evenings ago.”

“That’s not a meal, Y/N.”

“Then… A week and a half ago. When I went for dinner with my friends.”

Wanda let go of your hand and tucked your hair behind your ear. “You need to eat better, baby. Can you come over more often?”

“Can I sleep over more?”

The corners of Wanda’s eyes crinkled when a smile immediately formed on her face, the tips of her ears rising just a twitch. “Please do,” she answered.

While you were brushing your teeth, Wanda came up after getting the dishes into the dishwasher. She insisted she do it herself while you got ready.

She smiled at the sight of you still in her pajamas, brushing your teeth in her washroom. She approached you and pressed a kiss to your cheek, your mouth full of minty suds.

When you had both finished getting ready, you crawled over the bed and laid your head down in Wanda’s lap and brought your knees to your stomach, like a puppy. She set her phone down and laid her hand on your head, massaging your scalp and forehead softly.

Satisfied and relaxed, you closed your eyes.

“I miss you when you’re busy at school, baby…” she said softly, her voice gentle and a little sleepy.

You opened your eyes and turned onto your back so you could look up at her. The lamp on her nightstand embraced her in a warm glowing outline around the crown of her head through her hair, making the soft glow look like a halo.

“Really…?” you asked.

Her warm hand cupped your cheek, her thumb stroking your skin. She nodded. “So much. I think of you all the time, Y/N. Our phone calls aren’t enough.”

You turned your body and pressed your face against her stomach.

After a few silent moments of Wanda brushing her fingers through your hair. “Why don’t you take care of yourself? You need to eat and sleep properly, honey.”

You muffled indiscernible words into her stomach, not really trying to give an answer.

“Are you listening, Y/N?”

You spoke, intelligibly this time, albeit still against her stomach. “Yes, I’m listening.”

“Let’s get into bed,” she said, taking your chin in her hand and making you look up at her. She smiled down at you and you turned your head to kiss her palm.

You weren’t ready to stop clinging onto Wanda even after she turned off the lights and you got under the blankets together; your arms were wrapped around her waist snugly, your head tucked under her chin. Her hand gently stroked the back of your head.

Your breathing was in time with Wanda’s in a way that when her chest expanded as she inhaled, your shoulders relaxed as you exhaled, creating a subtle push and pull of your bodies’ contact.

“I think I might’ve done really badly on my midterm paper,” you said quietly, turning your head and opening your eyes, looking at the subtle shifting of her shoulders.

“Really?” she asked, continuing to stroke the back of your head. “Why?”

The heavy ache in your chest that arose when you normally thought about your terrible paper had somehow dissipated, and in its place a dull and hollowed out feeling where you expected to feel its weight.

You tightened your arm around Wanda’s waist, pressing your chest against hers.

“I knew it was terrible as I was writing it. I was just in such a rush. I didn’t take the time to plan it — nothing,” you explained. The words felt like a confession, finally releasing what you’d done without denying it to yourself and storing it deep within that ache that was presently missing.

“What happens if you get a bad mark?”

For the first time, you genuinely thought about a future that took place after receiving the paper’s grade. “I guess I’d have to talk to a teaching assistant about it… Or my professor.”

Wanda hummed in acknowledgment. “It’ll be alright, Y/N. It’s a midterm for a reason; it's not your final, and you’ll certainly have ways to make up for it.”

“But it’s just stupid…” you mumbled, hiding your face in Wanda’s chest again.

She pulled her head back a bit and looked down at you. “What’s stupid, baby? Come on, look at me when you’re talking.”

“No, I don’t want to,” you replied childishly.

Wanda gave in with an exhale through her nose and rested her chin on top of your head again. “Can you tell me what’s frustrating you?”

“I’m just stupid. I’m supposed to be able to do these things properly, and I can’t.”

“It’s not that you can’t, Y/N, it’s just that you couldn’t for that assignment. Don’t call yourself stupid.”

“It’s easy for you to say,” you insisted. “You weren’t there with me when I knew I could’ve done better.”

Above you, Wanda clicked her tongue against the roof of her mouth and sighed. She took your chin in her hand and forced you to lift your head from her chest.

You looked up at her.

“Why do you want me to scold you so badly, hm? You want me to agree with you and tell me you should’ve and could’ve done better, and that you’ve done a terrible thing?”

The suggestion wasn’t entirely far from what you had been trying to do, but the idea of Wanda actually doing it made you upset. You felt your bottom lip tremble a little.

“Why won’t you just make me feel bad about things? Just make me feel bad about things I do.”

Pads of her fingers pressed against your cheeks and Wanda frowned as she looked down at you.

“I would never do that, Y/N,” she told you softly.

You couldn’t tell if you felt more defiant and stubborn, or overwhelmed again by the realization of how much Wanda loved you.

“Why not?” you asked.

Her hand combed down your hair until she was holding the side of your face in her hand. “I love you. You’re loved when you’re with me. That’s why.”

You rubbed eyes with the back of your wrist, feeling an onset of tears. You didn’t want to cry — it wasn’t the time, and all you’d been doing since you arrived was cry and whine and want Wanda’s attention.

“Oh, baby…” Wanda whispered, kissing your forehead and pulling your head against her chest again. “I know. You’re just feeling overwhelmed.”

You wrapped your arm tightly around her waist again, now feeling her shirt dampening against your cheeks.

“I will always be proud of you, Y/N,” she spoke against the top of your head. Her hand rubbed your upper back. “I will never scold you for falling behind or making a mistake when you tried your best. And I know you did. You’re a hard worker and a good girl.”

At her words, your silent tears grew into soft sobs and pathetic whimpers which you didn’t care enough to try and silence.

Wanda asked with a sweet and patient tone, “You’re a good girl, right, sweetheart?”

You nodded against her chest.

She pulled away and lifted your face up with two hands. She wiped your tears away and craned her head down to kiss you softly.

When she pulled away, you sniffled and immediately wrapped your arms around her neck to give her a hug.

Several quick kisses were pressed to your cheek, and Wanda hugged you tighter. You knew that her arms were hugged around your torso, but it really felt like she was hugging you all over.

“You will always have somewhere to go to be loved and cared for, Y/N. I love you so much,” she said, her lips brushing against your temple.

You were a mess of sniffles and whines. “But I can’t come over as much as I want. I wish I was with you all the time. I wish I didn’t have to go anywhere, ever.”

“I know, sweetheart. I wish you could stay here all the time and wake up with me every morning, and be here every time I get back from work. I wish neither of us had to do anything.”

Her fingers combed through your hair. “But I’ll always be here for you, Y/N. I’m not upset when you can’t visit. I know you get busy and I want you to do well in school. You’re a very smart girl.”

“I love you, Wanda,” you said. Your words were slightly muffled but your lips were close to her ear, so she could hear. “I don’t know what I would do if I didn’t have you in my life. I love you so much.”

Wanda’s arms tightened slightly around your body. “I love you too. I don’t know what I’d do without you either. Talking and being with you is my favourite part of every day. You’re the most important thing in my life.”

For the rest of the night, you and Wanda talked about how you’d figure out having you come over more. Now that you had keys to her place, you could come whenever you wanted, even if she was at work, and stay until she got home.

She suggested you come over just to eat between classes even if she was out, but you said you weren’t ready to be at her place without her yet; it would feel too lonely and you wanted to see her every time you came over.

In the morning, Wanda made you breakfast while you brewed the coffee. You didn’t want to miss her when she left for work, so you woke up early and decided to study on campus before your first class, so you could leave with her and spend more time with her in the car.

Everything in the world and in your life made so much sense when you were doing your daily tasks with Wanda, as if your ordinary life was meant to be aligned with hers.

This was the woman you were supposed to spend your life with, and it was no wonder everything felt better when you were with her.

#wanda maximoff #wanda maximoff fanfiction #wanda maximoff x reader #marvel #marvel fanfiction #elizabeth olsen

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