#they cant cook lmaooo

[greattigerssimp]

The boxers and their ability to cook (in my au)

[gunsatthaphan]

he got confused lmao

[luck-of-the-drawings]

OOOH BABY THIS ONE WAS A LONG TIME COMING. NIGHTMARE NIGHTMARE NIGHTMARE!!

YOU THOUGHT IT WAS A DAY LIKE ANY OTHER. A DAY OF ADVENTURE WITH YOUR CLOSEST FRIENDS. OH HOW TIGHTLY YOU HOLD THEM TO YOUR CHEST, AND OH HOW TERRIFYING IT IS TO WATCH THEM GET EVISCERATED BY SOMETHING YOU DONT UNDERSTAND. MAYBE IF YOU JUST LISTENED A BIT MORE, IF YOU LET THE SMART ONE LEAD THE CHARGE, THIS WOULDNT HAVE HAPPENED. ONCE AGAIN YOUR IMPULSIVENESS LEADS TO DISASTER. HEAR ME NOW, YOUNG TIDESTRIDER, YOUR STUPIDITY WILL BRING THE DEMISE OF EVERYTHING YOU WERE BORN AND FORGED TO PROTECT. HOW COULD THE PROPHECY HAVE CHOSEN SOMEONE SO USELESS? I BET YOU WISH YOU CHOSE THE RIGHT LEVER. FAILURE.

[tilescel]

Video description: crochet komori noru rotating while spiked on a knitting needle through his belly

[tosxah]

@aureliusc &&.

"A sword? Sure thing but you could just buy a sword with the amount of mora I could pay you."

[butchlifeguard]

i love 2 be bigender because i can see through bullshit like fucking apollo justice

[taasgirl]

somethin' stupid - oscar piastri

summary: carlos sainz's sister, y/n, owns a bakery in barcelona, and during the spanish gp, she begins to see a certain face a little more

a/n: there is no face claim so imagine y/n as you wish!

liked by carlossainz55, landonorris, and 16, 287 others ynbakery Make sure you head into the bakery before the Grand Prix this weekend (don't worry, I will NOT be selling whatever Carlos is making)!

carlossainz55 Plenty of people will want the pancakes I made 😡

landonorris Don't worry Carlos I will try some ynbakery landnorris Get a room you two

carlossainz55 Best bakery in Spain!!

user52 aww carlos is so supportive

lilymhe barca weekend + y/n's pastries = heaven

ynbakery LILY I LOVE YOU

user91 i may not have tickets to the gp, but i do have 3 euros to spend on y/n's famous muffins

user67 I'm so ready for all the drivers to be at the bakery HAHA

liked by ynsainz, oscarpiastri, and 82, 932 others lilymhe the fia need to make barca the only circuit all year round purely because of y/n's pastries tagged: alexalbon, ynsainz, ynbakery

ynsainz you are welcome at my bakery whenever you wish

alex_albon If you haven't had that croissant, you haven't lived

georgerussell63 Real

user28 Y/N'S BAKERY!! PLEASE SOMEONE GET THE GRID IN THERE

user63 IF OSCAR WENT HE WOULD LITERALLY BECOME OSCAR PASTRY LMAOOO

user59 lily and alex are so cute i cant

liked by oscarpiastri, lilymhe, and 33, 209 others ynsainz slide 3 trigger warning tagged: carlossainz55

landonorris HAHAHA

carlossainz55 hermana...

ynsainz sorry king I had to do it

oscarpiastri Will the bakery be open all weekend?

ynsainz yes all days except for sunday!!

user74 y/n you are so beautiful

lilymhe Such a pretty girl 💜 liked by ynsainz

view oscarpiastri's story...

tagged: ynbakery

liked by ynsainz, charles_leclerc, and 3, 726, 198 others scuderiaferrari Raceday pancakes?

ynsainz SOMEONE STOP CARLOS FROM THIS PANCAKE BUSINESS I CANNOT DO IT ANYMORE

user87 i'm crying 😭😭

charles_leclerc I think we should leave the cooking to y/n

ynsainz I agree thank you

landonorris I've never seen someone look worse in an apron and chefs hat @ carlossainz55

user22 what is carlos' obssesion with pancakes...

user98 RACEDAY PANCAKES?? GET THEM IN THE FUCKING CAR

liked by oscarpiastri, charles_leclerc, and 44, 827 others ynsainz race day bitchesss 😎 #idratherbeatmybakery

oscarpiastri I'd rather be at your bakery too

lilymhe excuse me oscar but i was just abt to comment this

user55 y/n clutching up with the charlos pics

user60 sorry but umm oscar??

scuderiaferrari End of race pancakes?

ynsainz STOP NO. NO MORE FUCKING PANCAKES

liked by mclaren, landonorris, and 2, 198, 277 others oscarpiastri Barcelona recap ft. a non-edible y/n croissant

mclaren 🧡

ynsainz hope you enjoyed the gift!!

user87 Y/N GOT OSCAR A JELLYCAT

user52 wake up babe, oscar piastri is making moves on his enemy's sister

carlossainz55 ...

user98 IM SCREAMING

user53 official y/n bakery verdict?

oscarpiastri Really really delicious

liked by carlossainz55, charles_leclerc, and 11, 727 others ynbakery Aaaaaand we're back open! First twenty people in store receive a free muffin from our new range!

oscarpiastri Yummm

ynbakery oh hey pastry boy 🥐

landonorris Oh we'll be stopping by then

user61 we?

lilymhe breakfast, lunch, dinner, and my snack are now sorted for the day (please never close again)

ynbakery I think we need an honorary lily cookie...

view oscarpiastri's story...

tagged: ynbakery

liked by charles_leclerc, ynsainz, and 4, 982, 129 others carlossainz55 Proud to be back at home, we go again 👊

scuderiaferrari 🏎️💨 liked by carlossainz55

oscarpiastri Great race brother

user50 we really got oscar complimenting carlos before gta 6

landonorris Sexyyy

user81 Carlos Sainz the man that you are

user93 thoughts on y/n and oscar 😏

carlossainz55 No thoughts.

view ynsainz's story...

tagged: oscarpiastri

liked by landonorris, alex_albon, and 17, 823 others ynbakery For everyone asking if I can get Carlos to bake some things for the shop... NOOOOOO he only makes pancakes 😢

carlossainz55 They are good pancakes y/n

ynbakery yeah okay.

landonorris Don't let him anywhere near any machinery, you're whole place would be shut down

ynbakery HAHA carlossainz55 Says the man who won't eat fish

liked by lilymhe, ynsainz, and 2, 822, 376 others oscarpiastri My girlfriend is a baker so does that mean I should change my username to oscarpastry? tagged: ynsainz

ynsainz yes i think it does

oscarpiastri Good to know

user44 Y/N AND OSCAR MATCHING JELLYCATS??

carlossainz55 @ ynsainz Are you making pancakes without me

oscarpiastri Don't worry we followed your recipe 🤣 ynsainz oscarpiastri OSCAR DON'T EXPOSE ME

user92 GIRLFRIEND AHHHHHHH

landonorris I am praying for your well being now that carlos is technically your brother in law

oscarpiastri Thanks mate

please let me know if you liked this, i know it's been a while since i last posted! reqs are open!!

[diorsluv]

feather , part 9

“ i hit ignore ”

series m. list previous chapter next chapter

( socialmedia!au )

bookerburke_

liked by yourusername, colecaufield, jamie.drysdale, and 103 others

bookerburke_ ❤️

tagged: yourusername

view all comments

yourusername are you just gonna make a habit of taking pics when i’m not looking 🫣

→ bookerburke_ maybe

username70 this is so unbelievably domestic

username16 no no no get this off my feed

username68 STOP THIS RIGHT NOW

username94 wtf i HATE ITTTT

colecaufield please don’t tell me you brought back the bag with kristen stewart and robert pattinson’s faces on it

→ yourusername i brought it back.

jamie.drysdale nice cat

username34 cutiesss!!

username27 y’all at least she’s happy right

yourusername

liked by rutgermcgroarty, _alexturcotte, trevorzegras, and 20,874 others

yourusername when he brings you breakfast in bed before taking you to top golf 🤭🤭

view all comments

luca.fantilli what is with you and top golf

→ yourusername you’re actually bullying me

username5 i keep checking her posts daily cuz i keep thinking it’ll get any better

→ username62 and does it get any better??

→ username5 it does not get better

lhughes_06 oh cool isn’t that the skirt you begged me to buy for you

→ yourusername 😐

username77 luke is so salty lmaooo

bookerburke_ top golffff (why was making oatmeal so difficult)

→ yourusername maybe you should leave the cooking to me..

→ bookerburke_ nono let me cook

→ trevorzegras fr lil drizzy let him cook

jackhughes so ur just re-using dates huh

→ yourusername STOP THIS RIGHT NOW

→ yourusername i’m not re-using dates ☹️☹️

username97 I CAN’T BELIEVE THIS JACK JUST WENT IN FOR THE KILL

_alexturcotte mini drizzy i love u but what’s going on..

→ lhughes_06 turcs u cant say u love her anymore shes got a bf

→ yourusername i’m being cyberbullied

next chapter notes ) IM SO SORRY I HATE WRITING ABT THE MALE!OC SO MUCH but i need to build tension 😞😞 it’s for the sake of the plot i swear

[theosconfessions]

Love is Embarrassing

The Final Hangouts 4/4- Eugene

@duusheen

okay first of all i had to include a screenshot of eugene just being awful at sports and decking scarlett with a football. i was like !! lmaooo. he puts on a sporty front until theres something in his hand like that haha! soooo cute. whats there to say about eugene. he went HARD from the VERY JUMP to let scarlett know how much he was falling for her and he never missed a beat.there would be a point where he would be cooking dinner for when she gets back from her dates go eat with her and get in some sneaky ass flirting.while i think its a dream for him i have to admit i think its the same for scar. and shes just always like DAMN i shouldve not treated you like a piece of shit back then. eugene never waivered. he was never jealous. he accepted freddy right away. and he always makes his intentions known. including during this date talking about marriage. i was like go off babe. @duusheen you made SUCH a gentleman. he cant throw for shit but he treats her SOOOO well ...this was the last hangout.... now ... for the final choice.

[foxmulderautism]

boys when they finish their degree at 2:48am on a friday 

doing something silly tonight

[lovedrruunk]

What TikToks I think overwatch characters would post pt 2! (>ᴗ•) !

Part 1 !

Rein, don’t know if u guys know that liver king guy but he’s literally just rein if he took steroids. Posts tons of like gym core/culture videos yk BUT HES ONE OF THE GOOD ONES!!! Ppl in the community love him bc of how positive he is even though he’d give rlly bad advice “EATING THIS RAW TESTICLE INCREASED MY TESTOSTERONE LEVELS BY 9%!!!!”

D.va, this can go 2 ways. #1 in all her Korean celebrity realness posts vids doing trendy dances while using crazy whitening filters and doing aegyo. #2 goes by a fake name and trolls the fuck out of people. D.va being a hater is such a strong head canon of mine like I love her being a toxic bitch like yes slay or whatever so relatable! Replies to streamers she secretly hates like “Wow your mom’s basement looks so clean!” “My left toe can get better plays.” “Bet even your keyboard hates being touched by you.” basically meowbah or wtv her name was but less weird more cunty

Ana, she replies to reins TikTok’s telling his followers NOT to do anything he says, but other than that I can see her posting cooking vids (as every Arab mom does) but she’ll be talking sweetly in English and then suddenly start cussing something out in Arabic and it’ll be so off topic and it’s rlly funny “and then you add 1 cup of flour! ‘I told my lazyass lgbtqia daughter to pick up some earlier but of fucking course she chose to disappoint me again. Ever since the day I birthed her she has been disappointing me over and over again.’ A pinch of salt!”

Hanzo, DEPRESSION CORE SLIDESHOWS LMAOOO some “when the nice guy loses his patience… the devil shivers.” ass shit, bio is probs something stupid like “family betray, women cheat, Hennessy cures.”

Ashe, CONTROVERSIAL QUEEN !!! People forget she’s southern like please you cannot tell me she doesn’t have some crazyass takes. Will post borderline ragebait in like her car or something. “My gun identifies as a PLUNGER. Beat that Biden.” “BIDEN CANT TAKE MY GUNS, I KEEP THEM UPSTAIRS!!!” “Bidens oldass will probably find a way to outlive my OMNIC butler.” She’ll say all this stupid shit with a straight face and I just think that’s so funny. On rare occasions she’ll actually have a rlly good progressive take and ppl will be like okay hold up let her cook…

Tracer, kinda like junkrat where she's only famous cuz ppl lowk make fun of her and she hasn't caught on yet... I LOVEEEE Tracer she's my fav character but CMONNNN "Cheers love!" SHES NOT SURVIVING TIKTOK!!! ppl in the comments will be mocking her accent and she'll just think they're british too... ppl make fun of her NOT cuz they hate her but because she's just ummm eccentric that's the world plus she's british so that's rlly the only reason why ppl make fun of her like not in a mean way but just for funsies yk...

Pharah, being arab and being a lesbian I am 100% qualified to say this but she's such a fucking lesbo ykwim like 'hey mamas' type, she's also really whitewashed like thinks shes a white stud or something. Ellie Williams wannabe makes thirst traps in stained white wife beaters and expects every lesbian in a 100 mile radius to want her (they dont). Thinks playing basketball makes her the shit and she's just rlly desperate and lame. horny on main. Ana found one of her thirst traps once and it led to a really awkward convo

Kiriko, she's only there to post cute videos of her adventures with her gang and fox like shes just there to have a good time ykwim. And she's like popular bc all her fans r girls and her vlogs and stuff r just so nice to watch plus she's funny and rlly cool!

Baptiste, the anti-andrew tate. Hes so attractive and like confident that people can't help but like him ykwim like he makes little straight boys piss their pants with his bazillion level aura. He'll just post a random vid in his car maybe eating chipotle or something and he'll have men and women alike confessing their love for him in the comments. Lesbians love him.

Any character I haven't mentioned i just can't see posting or having tiktok!

[pitchcom]

OKAY f1 heathers au post starting NOW

heather chandler: fernando - cmon. look at fernando and tell me he doesnt have heather chandler energy. he is totally a mean girl and would be perf for this role

heather duke: carlos - he is supressed mean girl and im saying this as a carlos lover. he wants to put forth a perfect face until its publicly acceptable to be bitchy and charles is just the unfortunate bearer of that. i do think in this au he would be more passive aggressive mean then singing “kill yourself” mean but those are just little bits. i also think he has the capability to go mad with power

heather macnamara: charles - HONESTLY i think that he and carlos could be slightly interchangable based on your perception of them BUT i do think charles pulls off the innocent charmer look better so hes heather mac. but dont forget that heather mac is a heather for a REASON and she is also a shittalker so charles DOES have a mean bone in his body DONT BE FOOLED. charles here also plays into the macnamara/veronica angle bc he also has a bond with oscar

veronica sawyer: oscar - tbh i dont have a clear reason except it just feels right LOL like the narratives all line up … the carcar beef and the veronica/duke beef … the mcnamara/sawyer connection … loscar and martha/veronica …. i fear it all fits too well. also i think it would be funny for fernando to be a bitchy ghost haunting oscar for half the musical

JD: lando - this is mostly because hes been a menace lately and i DO believe he would be dramatic enough to blow up a school + fake their suicide note because someone broke up with him for killing 3 other people

martha dunnstock: logan - tragic unpopular bestie of the loser -> popular main character that gets hurt and left behind because of it. need i say more

ram & kurt: max/daniel OR pierre/esteban - no super strong reason for either of them except they are the two duos left on the grid that can give fboy but also hidden homoerotic relationship LMAOOO

mrs flemmings: lewis - sorry have u seen his whole peace love and plants front … he is so totally the teacher. tries to be pro mental health and diversity that it feels almost fake AND hes kinda unhinged with it. a case could be argued for seb but unfortunately i need him and mark to be oscars parenes LMAOOO

okay thats all for now folks 🫡 and if anyone ever makes any art of this …. pspspsps please feed it to me (tag me)

edit: PLS DROP ME ASKS IF U WANNA DISCUSS I CANT REPLY 🙏🙏

theres also another take on this thats vaguely developing in my head where its lewis + teammates = heathers with lewis, nico, and george being heathers and lestappen being jd/veronica BUT that needs to cook some more compared to this one LOL

[gunsatthaphan]

NOT PAENG AND SAMSEE please I'm wheezing 😭😭😭😭

[morbethgames]

you cant stop cooking now because your story is just 5 stars course at this rate oh my god. thank you for the meal, chef. also i want to apologise to my mc specifically. i know they're supposed to be smart but as the player I'm dumb lmaooo tell me why im stuck at the password scene for 20 minutes just going back and forth lol.

Thank you for the compliment, I shall continue to try and serve delicious chapters o7

But yes, real talk, don't worry about not getting the password too much. I put in measures for the game so that if you didn't find the password, you could still find evidence of what was on the computer in a different way! My best advice for that? Check things twice.

[4thenookie]

Hi hi i heard you wanted some headcanons!! As always this is /lh, not meant to be taken that seriously, agree to disagree, yada yada all that good jazz lmao. Most of them are pretty crack-y in nature as well, they're just meant for fun lol. And with that, I'll compile my miles long headcanon list into (mostly) sorted by character for everyone's convenience lmao

- starting off strong with trans EJ! Idk why but do headcanons really need a reason? (I do know why) (i like to make my blorbos suffer 💖) (and also [diverges your neuros] [transes your genders] [homos your sexuals]). Also biromantic asexual king

- more EJ because he's THE blorbo. Boy is british asf and he knows BSL and is learning ASL. Touch averse as well. I feel like EJ would actually be a decent if not great cook.

- EJ purring like a cat when he's content/happy? I think yes! Also has a tail with one of those tail tuft thingies? Kinda like lions if you know what i mean. And the pointy ears (peak character design yaknow)

- moving on. I feel like Jeff knows how to play an instrument. Probably electric guitar. He also has like a bajillion band t-shirts. Jeff also likes to take long, hot showers but hates to comb his hair lol

- while Brian cooks food so bad/raw it could as well just still be alive, Toby is either a great cook or a disaster in the kitchen with seemingly no indicator for which one it's going to be on any given day. I'm talking managing to burn a pot of water one day and cooking a michelen star worthy meal the next.

- Kagekao is actually fluent in English and speaks and understands it perfectly, he just refuses to speak it. He takes great amusement in watching other people lose their minds over this

- speaking of languages, i feel like Toby would be bilingual if not multilingual. He speaks English and German, maybe even Spanish if we're going the multilingual route

- also. Oh my god. The generational difference between BEN "memelord who quotes vines like there's no tomorrow" Drowned and Slenderman is just. I cant stop laughing thinking about it. Any given conversation between these two is just a gamble on who is going to lose it first

- BRVR is kinds Lost Silver's pet but also not really? Like he just kinda goes wherever but Lost Silver mainly takes care of him

- LJ he/it truther

- Me and a friend came up with this which probably explains why it is cracky as fuck but hear me out. Jeff as a makeup artist. He made Slender look like Beyonce once. No one knows how he did it and how he's not dead (the answer, as my friend said, is "no one can hate Beyonce")

- i feel like Toby, BEN, and Jeff would be like. The chaos trio. God knows what will happen when you put the three of then alone in a room together

- i also feel like Brian sunburns really easily.

- Tim is one of those dads that wants to leave in the middle of the night for road trips / holidays to avoid the traffic jams

Hope this makes even a bit of sense and i hope you enjoyed whatever my brain spewed at me lol if u ever wanna share more headcanons or talk about blorbos or share character slander (looking at Brian and LJ (affectionate)) feel free to dm me!! (I dont mind i promise lol /lh)

hi!!!!!!!!!!!!! omg these are so so so real thank you for sharing them with me!!!! ill go into some more detail under the cut :)

to be honest, i can kinda see trans ej being real now that you mention it, ill definitely think about that a lot!! and i also hc him as asexual!!!! :)

im british and i claim ej as one of us lmaooo

i absolutely agree w the purring thing!!! i think ej does a lot of cat things idk :)))) i love all of your ej headcanons!!!

tbh i can see jeff either playing electric guitar like you said or maybe drums?? just any instrument he can go ham on when hes mad lmao

in my hc he has the worst case of chronic greasy hair and he doesnt want to do anything about it

cooking hcs are so real brian can NOT cook!!!!!!! toby will either serve you some 5 star gourmet shit or some rotten takeout he found during a dumpster dive

omg omg omg I hardly see anybody talk about kagekao!!!!!! i totally agree he would do that lmaooo

idk if its canon or not but i read somewhere that tobys German so i totally agree that hed be bilingual!!!

oh my god BEN whos native language is memes meets grandpa slendy that would be so funny

in 4 words youve converted me into a fellow he/it LJ truther!!!! could we consider he/it ej too? maybe??

ik you said it was a cracky hc but i can actually kinda see jeff being good at makeup??? like one of those things where he tries it once and it's the most drop dead gorgeous makeup look you've EVER seen and everyones like how did you do that

toby BEN and jeff are an absolute riot when rheyre together lmao

omg i never thought about it but brian sunburning super easy is so real!! and in summer he always wears sunglasses so he has like an unburnt patch on his face where his sunglasses were yk??

OMG YES LMAOOOOO "guys get up our flights in 10 hours WE'RE GONNA BE LATE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" he would 100% have a checklist or 3

thank you so much for sharing these with me!! i hope you dont mind me adding my own thoughts lol but theyre so much fun to think about!!!! if you ever wanna slander lj and brian with someone feel free to dm me lmao!!!!!! take care <33333

[sugar-omi]

dude i have a sims 4 save of cove and my version of my mc cuz i like to self indulge 🤷🏾 AND EVERYTIME I LOAD UP THE GAME MY MC IS PREGNANT AND I CANT TAKE IT ANYMORE💀 SHES ON HER 3RD KID RN💀

LMAOOO OMFG IM SO GLAD YOU BROUGHT UP SIMS BC MY SIM GOT PREGNANT BACK TO BACK....

so I bought growing together right?!?! made a new save w cove and my sim. (I have an old save w cove n my Sim but the kids on that save is alrdy grown. also I deleted all my cc n didn't wanna deal w makeover-ing 10+ sims)

anyway. had a kid right... all is good. I'm happy enough right.... well. I have risky woohoo. n i.... just forgot?!?! so when they woohooed to get their Fun need up. I clicked on the toilet n it said THROW UP.

MY SIM JUST HAD A BABY. THROW UP WHY? FOR WHAT.... I take a test. PREGANT. AGAIN.... LIKE LITERALLY DAY AFTER BIRTHINF THE FIRST KID

I check with mc command center.... ITS TWINS !!!!!

SO RIGHT NOW. I HAVE 3 INFANTS IN MY GAME. I HAVE RESORTED TO CHEATING THEIR NEEDS BC COVE N MY SIM ALMOST PISSED THEMSELVES 3 TIMES EACH. PASSED OUT SEVERAL TIMES.

YA FEED ONE KID, ANOTHER NEEDS FEEDINF. CHANGE ONE DIAPER. ANOTHER SHITS THEMSELVES.

so yeah... I've been cheating.

AND THEN THE MOMS AND LIZ CAME OVER RIGHT. TO HELP WITH BABY #1. BUT THE ONLY HELP THEY EXTENDED. WAS TO THEMSELVES TO MY FUCKING REFRIGERATOR WHERE THEY THEN HELPED THEMSELVES TO MY FOOD. THEY DIDNT COOK SHIT.... JUST GOT IN MY WAY AND ATE MY FOOD 😭😭😭😭😭😭

edit: help not me rambling even MORE in the tags....