#they cannot battle for screen time and expect me to be able to focus on both

[faith-thee-slayer]

season 3 is impossible for the angel stan in me because i can NOT focus on his storyline when faith is right there😭

[spencersstrawberryjello]

Shitty Slasher Film (Spencer Reid + gn!MC - platonic)

Summary: SPOILERS FOR SEASON 8 (and minor season 7 spoilers but I figure if you’ve seen season 8 you’ve probably seen season 7 already lmao) MC and Spencer decide to go see a slasher film, but it takes a turn for the worse when the killer begins to stalk his victim. 

Content: Hurt/Comfort (because literally what else do I write at this point)

Warnings: Descriptions of violence, depressive thoughts, and swearing

MC’s name and pronouns: Neither explicitly mentioned

Word Count: 2285

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The plan was simple.

We were going to see a new horror movie in the theaters - it seemed similar to a slasher film that Morgan, Garcia, Reid and I had seen like six or seven months ago, so I didn’t think anything of it when we booked the tickets. Morgan and Garcia couldn’t make it tonight, unfortunately, but we still elected to go on our own, thinking it would be a fun little outing. That was, until the film started.

The lights came up on a woman, walking through a back alley alone, at night. Typical. I even glanced over at Spencer and rolled my eyes a bit, and he grinned at the stereotypical horror movie trope.

She died, of course, and for the first half of the movie I genuinely thought it was going to be exactly what we assumed. We were laughing at the ridiculousness of it all, with the stupid special effects and the subpar acting. But everything went off the rails after the first half of the movie.

The killer had revealed his primary target, his endgame, and - much to my horror - he had begun to stalk her.

Scenes of her creating a disguise, moving houses, throwing away her phone, spun a dark web that I didn’t ever want to think about. But I had more pressing things to worry about than my fear at a movie that was literally intended to make you scared.

I glanced over at Spencer, and I could tell that his breathing had picked up. His hands were gripping the arms of the chair, knuckles as white as his face had turned. I put a hand over his, and his attention snapped to me.

“Hey, are you alright?” I asked him. It was a stupid question, and one I already knew the answer to, but it was the first thing I could think to say. He looked like he was weighing his options for a moment before he shook his head.

“Do you want to leave?” I followed. He nodded, eyes wild, and we quickly grabbed our bags and left, just as the stalker had pulled a gun on his victim. Spencer took one last look at the screen, watching with wide eyes as the victim begged for her life. It was like a trainwreck; he couldn’t take his eyes off the movie, and I couldn’t take my eyes off him as the stalker pulled the trigger, and the woman crumpled to the ground. He practically jumped out of his skin when the gunshots fired, and I grabbed his arm to usher him out.

I didn’t realize the full extent of his panic until we made it out of the theater, bursting through the doors into the significantly brighter lights of the hallway. He immediately sat down on the couch near the doors, head in his hands, breathing rapidly.

“Ok, you’ve gotta breathe, Reid. You’ve gotta breathe, alright? In through your nose, out through your mouth, can you do that?” I adjusted my breathing to fit the pattern, and saw that he had started to slow his as well. “Good, ok… we can sit here for as long as you need to, just focus on your breathing.”

He gave me an almost imperceptible nod, continuing to breathe slowly before lifting his head from his hands. His eyes were red, and it was clear he’d been trying to fight off tears.

“Reid, I’m so sorry -”

It was at that moment that he cut me off with a hug, tucking his head in the crook of my neck as I felt his body lightly shake with sobs. After a second I hugged him back, not used to physical affection from him, but not opposed as long as he was ok with it.

“It reminded you too much of Maeve, didn’t it?” I asked, trying to ensure that the story I had in my head was correct. He nodded, his breath coming in short gasps again, and I hugged him a bit tighter. “Reid, I’m so sorry, I never would’ve suggested this movie if I’d known the turn the story was going to take.”

He shook his head, sucking in deep breaths before finally attempting to speak. “No, no, it’s ok, I know that you wouldn’t have done this on purpose. It’s just…”

He trailed off, but I knew what he was trying to say. “I was there that day, Reid. I know how much she meant to you.”

“The girl in the movie kind of looked like her. You know? Same hair, same face shape… when I saw the fear in her eyes, all I could imagine was Maeve, terrified, with a gun to her head. The woman I love - loved. The woman I loved. Scared, and alone.”

“Oh, Reid… you know it’s not your fault, right? You did everything you could to save her.”

“No. No, I didn’t. I should’ve closed my eyes, I should’ve tackled Diane - hell, I should’ve shot that bitch the minute I walked into the room! Instead I stood there. I stood there while the woman I loved died in front of me, and I didn’t do anything to stop it.”

“Spencer.” I put my hands on his shoulders, pulling back from the hug to look into his eyes. “You absolutely cannot blame yourself for this. What happened to Maeve was horrible, but it was not your fault. And you can’t live your life with that on your conscience.”

“Maybe I deserve to.” His voice was soft as he tucked his head back into the crook of my neck, and I put my arms around him, one hand lightly rubbing his back. My heart broke for the man in my arms - my best friend - as he sniffled, a few stray tears still trickling down his face.

“You don’t deserve to live with that kind of guilt, Spencer. Guilt for something you didn’t even do. And I’m so, so sorry that you feel that way. And I’m so sorry about what happened.”

“Sorry doesn’t make it go away,” He argued, his voice muffled by the fabric of my t-shirt, “Sorry doesn’t bring her back.”

I heard his voice hitch when he said it, and I held him a bit tighter. “I know it doesn’t.”

He was silent for a moment before he spoke again, his voice thick with tears begging to be released. “I just wish I could bring her back.”

It was as if saying it broke something in him, and I felt his body shake as he cried again, consumed by grief and guilt unlike anything I could ever imagine. He was usually so closed off about his emotions that having him crying in my arms was a rare occurrence, even after years of friendship. The last time he was like this was after Emily’s… “death,” and even that wasn’t near as intense.

I wasn’t sure how long we sat on that bench, the orange lights of the movie theater hallway creating a strange liminal sensation as I held Spencer, finally releasing the emotions he’d clearly been pushing away since Maeve’s death.

Eventually, he stopped crying, his breathing returning to something close to normal, and he pulled away from me, his eyes red from tears.

“I’m sor -”

“Nope, do not even start to apologize. There’s nothing to apologize for.”

He closed his mouth, contemplating saying something else for a second before nodding, hugging me again.

“Thank you.”

“Of course, Reid. Do you want to go back to my place? We can order a pizza, and watch a movie - something we know this time. If you need to be alone, I understand, but -”

He shook his head. “I’d like that.”

“Good,” I sucked in a deep breath, trying to steady my own breathing after everything that just happened, “Good. Are you ok to walk to the car?”

“Yeah… I’m not sure how talkative I’m going to be tonight though…” He kind of trailed off, clearly drained, but not wanting to be alone.

“I understand; you know there’s no expectations with me, Reid. If you want to just wrap yourself up in a blanket and eat junk food, I get it. I just want to be there, to make sure that you’re ok.”

He gave me a small smile, and I grinned, grabbing his hand to help him off the bench. We made our way out to my car, and I climbed in, starting it before turning on the radio.

Spencer was pretty much silent the entire drive back to my apartment, the noise in the car mostly consisting of the music and my less than stellar singing. When we finally pulled into the complex, we headed upstairs to my place.

“I’m gonna order the food. Do you wanna find something on Netflix you like?” I asked as I unlocked the door. He nodded, and I threw my keys on the kitchen counter, putting in the pizza order on my computer. I saw him grab a blanket from the basket in the living room, wrapping it around his shoulders and plopping down on my couch.

I expected to return to the living room to see whatever movie we were watching cued up on the TV. Instead, I saw Spencer, staring at the wall across from him, remote untouched on the coffee table.

“Hey,” I sat down next to him, gently putting one hand on his shoulder, “Is there anything else you want to talk about?”

He was silent for a moment, and I could see the mental battle he was fighting. Eventually, he spoke, his voice barely above a whisper.

“I’m afraid… I’m afraid that if I allow myself to grieve, if I allow myself to think about what happened, I won’t be able to stop. It’s been almost four months, I thought the pain would be gone by now. But it isn’t, it’s… I just miss her. I miss her so much.”

“I know, Reid. I know.”

He leaned into me, and I didn’t hesitate to wrap my arms around him, the thoughts of pizza and a movie completely abandoned in my mind. Instead, all of my attention was on Spencer as he spoke again.

“On the last case, Rossi talked to me. I told him that I wasn’t sleeping because whenever I did, I would dream of her. Of Maeve. And everytime I saw her, I felt nothing but relief flooding my mind. I told him how she would always ask me to dance, and how I always said no. I never even got to hold her when she was alive, and I was scared that if I gave into the fantasy, I would be lost forever,” He took in a shaky breath before he continued, “And he said I should. He said, ‘just let it happen, Spencer.’ So I did. I danced with her, I held her, and when I woke up, she was all I could think about. The way it felt to wrap my arms around her, the way her head fit perfectly into the crook of my neck while we danced. It took another day before I could think about anything but her, before I could stop wallowing in my grief enough to function. And since that night, I haven’t allowed myself to give into the fantasy again, the fantasy of having her back. I think… I think that if I let it happen again, I won’t be able to come back from it. It’ll just consume me.”

“Spencer…” I trailed off, unsure of what to say. He just shook his head, telling me I didn’t need to say anything as we sat there on my couch in silence. He wasn’t crying, he hadn’t cried since we left the theater. He was just… hollow. Everything that he’d been trying to repress - to compartmentalize - had finally caught up to him, in the form of a shitty slasher movie that we’d gotten cheap tickets to see.

I held him tighter, wishing that I could figure out something to say to comfort him, to take away his pain. But I knew there was nothing I could do. Nothing I could do but just be there.

“Have you ever considered talking to someone? Like, not someone from the team - a professional?” I asked.

“I’ve thought about it. But… we’re experts in human behavior, you know? What’s a therapist going to be able to tell me that I can’t already profile myself?”

“Well, it might be helpful to have a licensed professional to talk to about this stuff. Someone who can actually give you advice on how to handle your emotions. Because as much as I am absolutely here for you no matter what, I’m afraid I’m not great at mental health advice.”

“Yeah… maybe.” He sounded dubious about the idea, and while I wanted to encourage him further, I didn’t want to push him today. So I settled for just gently rubbing his back as he laid in my arms, staring at the wall. Eventually, the doorbell rang, and I got up to get the pizza, bringing it back into the living room and setting it down on the coffee table. By now, he’d sat up, the blanket still pulled around his shoulders, but at least a bit more present.

“Thank you,” He said, for the second time that day. I just smiled at him.

“Of course. I love you, Reid. And I’m always here, whatever you need.”

“I love you too,” He gave me a small smile back before turning his attention to the coffee table, “But I also love food - I’m starving.”

I laughed as I handed him a plate, joining him on the couch as we both dug in.  

[herinsectreflection]

An Episode Within an Episode: An Analysis of ‘The Zeppo’

The Zeppo is one of those episodes that so consistently shows up on fan lists of “underrated” episodes, that I don’t know if it can really be considered “underrated” anymore, but I think it deserves a little extra appreciation. It’s definitely an episode that takes a second viewing to appreciate, thanks to how oddly it is constructed, in a way that isn’t immediately advertised to the viewer. Other episodes with unusual styles such as Once More With Feeling or Hush very much wear their concepts on their sleeve; you can’t watch them and not immediately realise what they are doing. That’s not a knock against those episodes - part of what makes them so great and iconic is that they get right to the point and so can do interesting things with the concept. The Zeppo is just a quieter kind of unique. It uses the limited perspective of both the characters and the audience themselves to show a cracked-mirror version of the world. It’s an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer told from the perspective of somebody looking in on another episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer. It’s fun and weird and I want to dig into it a little bit.

We start off with a very typical Buffy scene. In its third season now, the show is pretty aware of and confident in its own tropes, and trusts the audience to be too. We don’t need any build-up explaining exactly what Giles has found out and what spell Willow is performing and what these monsters are doing and exactly how Buffy and Faith know how to kill them. We’ve all seen an episode of Buffy before, and we can fill in the blanks pretty easily. This confidence in the show’s own tropes and what the audience expects of it is key to what makes this episode work. We know exactly how a typical episode of Buffy goes, so we can receive this barely-cliff-notes version of one and understand it perfectly. It’s an episode that can only be done in a show’s third year, when viewers have become fluent in the show’s language.

After the fight and exposition is over, Xander stands up from the garbage, as out of context as we are as viewers. As this is a Xander-centric episode, he becomes the audience identification figure. As the one character not supernaturally gifted or linked in any way (as the episode points out several times), Xander makes sense as the viewer stand-in. Xander comments on how he wants to be more involved in the fights but is firmly rebuffed - and it’s clear he wouldn’t be able to impact them anyway. All he can do is watch the fights and plots happen from a distance. In this sense, Xander is no different to the viewer, watching an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer, unable to affect it in any way.

This is where the structure of the episode comes into play. The A plot is a fairly meaningless runaround with zombies, while the B-plot is a finale-worthy epic apocalyptic showdown. We only catch glimpses of it, but it seems to contain all the standard hallmarks of a Buffy apocalypse - an evil cult, opening the hellmouth, tearful Buffy/Angel melodrama. Specifically, it echoes the previous two season finales, with the final showdown apparently featuring both the literal monster from the S1 finale, and some kind of sacrifice that involved Angel (evoking the S2 finale). The very last bit of dialogue we hear during this plot is “Faith, go for the heart!” from Buffy, encouraging her to kill the demon in the library, which you could argue foreshadows the S3 finale, where Buffy will use the Mayor’s love for Faith to kill him in the library. This plot is a facsimile of a Buffy season finale, giving us everything we expect and have seen before, stripped of all context, the very bare bones of a story. 

What this achieves is that it alienates the viewer from this story-within-a story, forcing us into an intentionally uncomfortable position, where it feels like we’re watching an episode through a keyhole. It intentionally exacerbates the divide between viewer and show, to highlight our inability to fully perceive or at all impact this world we tune into each week.

Xander is very purposefully chosen as the POV character for this experience. He is feeling very insecure and ineffectual - unable to help with either brains or brawn, and not having a whole lot of impact on the story. He feels alienated from his friends, fearful that they will leave him behind. The structure of this episode highlights this feeling of ineffectualness. Xander feels so alienated from the events and people around him that he, like the audience, becomes separated from them. A character from Buffy the Vampire Slayer becomes an outsider to the story, watching an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer. We are encouraged to empathise with Xander because we are in the same position. We too have been robbed of our usual intimacy with this group of people, forced to perceive the shadows of an episode. This meta-emotion dovetails with the character’s internal mental state nicely.

I think my favourite instance of this meta-perception being played with is in the scene between Buffy and Angel, where we are dropped without context into a tearful, dramatic argument where apparently Angel’s life is in the balance, filled with declarations of love and poetic exaltations, backed by this sweeping orchestral score - and then Xander pops his head in. The music immediately stops, he exchanges a few awkward lines with them before realising they have bigger things to worry about. As he leaves, Buffy turns back to the melodrama and the sweeping music surges back in. It’s brilliantly funny - it feels like Xander put an episode on pause for a quick interjection, then re-started it where we left off. It’s a joke relying entirely on the audience’s expectations of the kind of epic melodrama we might get from Buffy and Angel, and it works really well. In this moment, Xander completely becomes the viewer, peeking in on these two actors, observing through glass.

The Zeppo is very concerned with meta references, TV, and the act of watching. Obviously the title is a reference to Zeppo Marx, and there is also a running gag likening Xander to Jimmy Olsen. We are encouraged to think of Xander in relation to his narrative function as a fictional character, and so to watch this episode through this meta lens. One key shot just after Faith and Xander sleep together shows the two of them literally reflected in a TV screen. We are literally seeing a distorted reflection of reality in a TV screen, which on one level is essentially all we do whenever we watch any television show, but is also what we are seeing within this episode - a fuzzy reflection of a Buffy episode within a Buffy episode.

There’s another shot later that I like, of one of the zombies pausing during the final chase scene to look through the library window at the demon emerging from the hellmouth. We see him looking through the glass at this apocalypse monster for a couple of seconds before continuing on with his chase, like a channel-hopping viewer taking a brief glimpse of Buffy, momentarily enraptured, before switching back to what they were watching before.

One thing that stood out to me on this rewatch was how the villains are described. We purposefully get very little on the group, but what we do get is telling. “’Sisterhood of Jhe. Race of female demons, fierce warriors...' Eww. '...celebrate victory in battle by eating their foes.’”

A race of all-female warriors sounds very much like Slayers. They apparently eat after battles too, which according to Faith is also a feature of Slayers. The villain in this story is kind of a representation of the central concept of the show, which makes sense since it deals with Xander navigating around a typical episode of the show. You could also read it as representative of Xander’s pathologies when it comes to women and specifically women who are stronger than him.

What I like about this episode is that it doesn’t conclude by giving Xander a big important role in stopping the apocalypse, proving his worth to the group. That’s what a lesser show might have done. I like that here, Xander never gets involved with the epic finale-esque plot. He carries on existing in the spaces around it, becoming instead the hero of the monster-of-the-week runaround episode he has found himself in. Xander cannot be the hero of Buffy the Vampire Slayer, because he’s not Buffy. But he is still a human being, and all of us as human beings are the protagonists and heroes of our own stories. He can be the hero of his own life. 

S3 is largely about identity and forging one’s own path in life - obviously Buffy starts by having given up her name, then has to deal with facing off against her dark equivalent and making major decisions about her future. This season’s focus-episodes for the other characters reflect that: Giles is stripped of his role in Helpless, Willow rails against hers in Doppelgangland. This episode is all about Xander coming to terms with his narrative role within Buffy - as the non-powered comedic relief and occasional pep-talker. He could become frustrated with that, throw up his hands and let himself be at the mercy of his narrative function. But this episode allows him to find his own space, his own story. He accepts that he can’t colonise Buffy’s story, but he is still in control of his own decisions, and he can still have his own story. He can create a little one-off episode of Xander the Zombie Fighter that can co-exist peacefully with the episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer happening at the same time. It’s a smaller, quieter story without the same world-shaking melodrama - but that’s OK. As Xander says himself, he likes the quiet.

As viewers, we can never shape the course of the media we watch. That’s part of the appeal - we don’t always know what we want or need - a problem Xander faces himself when he clutches at things like “being cool” or “a car” for things that might make him happy - but a good show gives us what we didn’t realise we needed. But it remains an eternal frustration, that we can connect on a deep emotional level with these characters, but can never help them or solve their problems. A good set of characters can feel like family, but a character can never love you back. When Xander faces up against this same uselessness as he observes an episode of Buffy from afar, it is the same uselessness the viewer feels. When he accepts this and inhabits his own story, it reminds us that we can do the same thing. Television can be a great comfort, but it is not our lives. Because we can affect our own lives. We aren’t in control of them, but we can guide and impact them, and we can each be the hero of our own individual existences.

[kiranxrys]

Alone Together Episode 1 Transcript - Alexander Siddig & Andrew Robinson

I hadn’t seen a transcript for this episode going around on Tumblr yet and I thought I would quickly make one to share with anyone who would prefer to read or wants to read along/revisit the first episode in text form (and the YouTube subtitles are mostly useless, annoyingly). Please let me know if you think I’ve made an error anywhere and I’ll amend it!

watch: one | two | three | four

read: two | three | four

ANNOUNCER (ON-SCREEN): ‘Alone Together’ - a DS9 companion, Episode 1 - ‘These Days’. It has been about 25 years since the Dominion War ended. The Federation isn’t quite the same. Starfleet is much more consistently militarized these days. Earth may be paradise, but humanity is less ideologically empathetic. Since the recent Romulan attempts to extinguish synthetic life by infiltrating Starfleet Command, benevolence is taking a backseat to security these days. 

Elim Garak has been Castellan of the Cardassian Assembly since the new order was established following the Dominion War. Garak, of course, also has direct control over a newly resurrected Obsidian Order, though not by title. 

Julian Bashir is still a doctor on Deep Space 9 but is also coordinating the activities of Section 31. What we’ve learned is that upon sharing a consciousness with Luther Sloane using stolen Romulan technology, his genetically enhanced brain committed much of what he learned to his eidetic memory. That information had to be contained but could be put to good use. He was given little choice in the matter. Maintaining his cover as a Chief Medical Officer in the Bajoran sector met his needs, and he saw no reason to change.

[fade to black]

JULIAN BASHIR (VOICE ONLY): Mission log, stardate 737114. I’m approaching Cardassia Prime in response to a rather enigmatic request for medical aid from Castellan Garak, the leader of the Cardassian government. Though it’s hardly surprising that Garak might be withholding information, it seems that a reunion of sorts will be forthcoming. I’ve left the Infirmary in the capable hands of Doctor Jabara while I’m off the station. I must admit, I’m not entirely sure what to expect. 

JULIAN (ON-SCREEN): Bashir to Central Command, I’ve just entered orbit of Cardassia Prime, requesting approval to transport to Cardassia.

ELIM GARAK (VOICE ONLY): Stand by, Doctor. Don’t be in such a hurry.

JULIAN: Garak. I didn’t expect you to be at the Central Command, it’s good to hear your voice.

GARAK: My dear doctor, are we starting the lies already?

JULIAN (LAUGHING): It’s true, Garak. It’s good to hear your voice! That’s not a- Look, more importantly, if you’ll grant approval I can beam to your current location.

GARAK: Doctor, I’m not at Central Command. I’ve merely intercepted your subspace communications link. Unfortunately, Doctor, the Federation will not be setting foot on Cardassia today, and, to be quite honest, you don’t want to be here.

JULIAN: Garak, your message suggested some urgency in my arrival. Quite frankly, what the hell am I doing here if I can’t beam down?

GARAK: Would you uh- [laughs] believe pure, unadulterated nostalgia?

JULIAN: Would you?

GARAK (ON-SCREEN): [laughs] I missed you too Doctor. So, how is life on the station?

JULIAN: Well, Bajoran fashions just aren’t the same since you left.

GARAK: I’m sure.

JULIAN: But much of life has returned to what it once was, as much as it ever could, I suppose. Now-

GARAK: I was sorry to hear about Dax.

JULIAN: Thank you. I um… I miss Ezri every day. Ten years. I, well, that is- we, Dax and I, we tried to make it work. I- I was so happy Dax made it back to Trill on time. Cairn and I, we were very different people. He’s a botanist – can you imagine? Dax as a botanist. I suppose it’s why Keiko didn’t seem to mind my business as much. She and Dax had so much to talk about but, well, once the Symbiosis Commission discovered our continued relationship, well, we just uh- we couldn’t-

GARAK: Doctor, there’s no need to explain.

JULIAN: No. Dax always encouraged me to talk about my feelings, though there’s not much else to say, really. I had never really considered being in love with another man, but it was Dax. Ezri, Jadzia, even Cairn, it was Dax, is Dax. But we- we just couldn’t- I didn’t-

GARAK: It is difficult to find a good counselor to sort out our deepest sorrows these days.

JULIAN: I suppose it is.

GARAK: You’re an honourable man, Doctor. You loved Dax, you could do nothing less than your heart demanded. I know the pain of love all too well, especially a love that has everything working against it.

JULIAN: Ziyal.

GARAK: Ziyal, yes. Yes, even exiles have hearts, Doctor. Even [laughs] Elim Garak. When it comes right down to it, he has a heart as well. In fact, my heart is partially the reason why I’m here.

JULIAN: So, this is a house call? Damn it, Garak, why didn’t you tell me on subspace? What- what are your symptoms? Why don’t you want me to beam down?

GARAK: Well, so many questions, one hardly knows which to answer first.

JULIAN: Your symptoms, Garak. What is wrong with your heart?

GARAK: Well, it’s not just my heart, Doctor. Actually the most concerning symptom seems to be a degenerative condition that causes the ill to be especially susceptible to suggestion. Luckily my infection is relatively new, and rather unexplained as my exposure to the public tends to be limited to state functions and the like, you know, the life of a politician.

JULIAN: The ill? Garak, what are you saying?

GARAK: A virus, Doctor. Cardassia appears to be facing a- a minor health issue. We’re trying to contain the infection to one region, but we may have moved… far too late.

JULIAN: A minor health issue? You are a champion of understatement! ‘The ill’ suggests that this isn’t just about you but your ability to hide the facts seems to have been tainted over the years.

GARAK: Doctor?

JULIAN: Since your speech at the Lakarian City memorial, the ridges on your neck have grown paler and your breathing rate has increased.

GARAK: You liked my speech?

JULIAN: Damn it, Garak, you contacted me! How is this the first time that I’m hearing about this? Why is the planet not being quarantined? Your message said ‘medical aid’ – I assumed that I was just coming here as a preliminary consultation having something to do with one of your colonies. Now it sounds like an outbreak that needs to be contained.

GARAK: Doctor, quarantine means announcing the problem to the galaxy. This is an internal matter. You obviously don’t appreciate the severity of this virus, but you needn’t worry – no one is allowed to leave Cardassia, no one is currently being permitted to enter the atmosphere.

JULIAN: I cannot imagine you can contain the population without a reason. Just how bad is it?

GARAK: Oh, I’ve given them a reason, Doctor, but you shouldn’t worry about that. There are more important things requiring your focus right now.

JULIAN: Of course. How much- how many are infected?

GARAK: At last count, the virus had been contained to three continents. Nearly 68% of the population in those regions has been infected.

JULIAN: And you call it a ‘minor issue’ Garak?! That’s a pandemic!

GARAK: Doctor, when I say that the ill have developed a degenerative condition, I speak specifically of their thought processes. It is true that we have determined that it is a virus – a biological contaminant of sorts – but the Central Command is hardly a healthcare organization and while the degeneration is affecting the cardiopulmonary system as well, all of the symptoms seem to be driven by misfiring neurons, and therein lies the problem.

JULIAN: A virus that affects the brain is no small problem. The fact that early infections are showing in terms of dysfunction relatively mild systems doesn’t mean people won’t start to die.

GARAK: Yes, Doctor. And I haven’t.

JULIAN: My God, Garak. You’re infected.

GARAK: Why do you think I contacted you? I want the best.

JULIAN: And hoping that my genetic enhancements will allow me to diagnose your symptoms without scanning equipment?  

GARAK: I really have missed your mistrust, Doctor. The physicians here have the tendency to avoid the necessary dispassion for harder truths. You, however, have a refreshingly forthright bedside manner.

JULIAN: Wow, a compliment. You must be neurologically compromised. Well of course, of course I’ll do everything that I can. Do you know anything more about the virus? How is it passed on? How does it proliferate in the body? Have your doctors attempted any therapies that show any promise?

GARAK: Well, it seems to take several days to propagate in the carrier. During that time, sufferers develop a rather serious cough... [inaudible] …the dispatcher reaches the brain so our assumption it that it is spread through the air. Most hospitals have been closed to all but the infected to try and control the outbreak. As a result, our doctors are learning from their patients as they are treating them. As it stands now, they can only treat symptoms. Medical staff is reporting to external bodies to ensure that anyone studying the infection isn’t also battling a neurological disease. Progress is limited and all too slow.

JULIAN: Garak, I’m not sure how I can help you if I can’t examine you or access your data.

GARAK: Doctor, I’m afraid I can’t allow you to put yourself at risk. After all, I’m counting on you to save us all. And I believe that an outside perspective may be exactly what we need.

JULIAN: So no pressure?

GARAK: You’re a bright man, Doctor – put that genetically-enhanced brain of yours to work.

JULIAN: Well, I can’t examine you from orbit. My shuttlecraft sensors may be able to me that you’re alive, they can isolate you for transport, but they can hardly determine more than the most modest of life signs, and while I can see outward symptoms, Garak, I can’t for the life of me figure out how to see through your skull. I suppose I could transport a tricorder down there for a preliminary scan.

GARAK: I’m afraid I can’t allow that, Doctor.

JULIAN: Oh, of course you can’t. Can you send me your most recent medical scans?

GARAK: Unfortunately, no.

JULIAN: And why not?

GARAK: All of my genuine medical records are routinely deleted and replaced with falsified data. All data rods in which those records once existed have been destroyed, all computers in which the data rods were placed have been vaporized. My dear doctor, I’m the leader of the Cardassian people! Especially now, I can’t afford to broadcast my weaknesses to all, to anyone who feels they could exploit them.

JULIAN: The more things change, the more they remain the same.

GARAK: Meaning?

JULIAN: A presumption of godliness, most certainly a great paranoia. You haven’t managed to find yourself a staff that you trust to protect your life. To be quite honest, I’m surprised your staff doesn’t have implants that allow you to control them.

GARAK: Oh, Doctor, your assumptions hurt me deeply! Of course they do. If news of this infection gets out, and I can’t be clearer than this, Cardassia will be devastated. And we won’t be the only world that will fall.

JULIAN: Garak, you seem to believe that I can cure this virus from orbit, without any information.

GARAK: Well, Doctor, this virus doesn’t only infect the average citizen. Everyone is at risk. Everyone – the government, the military. Imagine if only a few of their people were infected. They find it difficult to concentrate. They’re finding themselves susceptible to suggestion. And what if intelligence agents of foreign governments found their way to Cardassia during this crisis?

JULIAN: It could destroy the Cardassia you’ve been rebuilding for over two decades.

GARAK: Yes.

JULIAN: But quarantine would keep foreign nationals off-planet and keep the rest of us safe from infection, assuming it can even infect off-worlders.

GARAK: Again, Doctor, it would announce the problem before we have a solution.

JULIAN: But it could help produce the solution you so desperately need!

GARAK: The risk is too great, Doctor.

JULIAN: Garak! Lives are at stake!

GARAK: Hundreds, perhaps thousands, to save billions. Doctor – will. You. Help. Me?

JULIAN: First and foremost, I’m a doctor, Garak. And I’m your friend.

GARAK: Yes. One more thing we should keep to ourselves.

JULIAN: You know Garak… you are being more paranoid than usual. You remind me of the exiled tailor I met so many years ago.

GARAK: Ah, but as you said yourself Doctor, the more things change-

JULIAN: The more they stay the same. But Garak, so much has changed. You’re the leader of your people.

GARAK: Julian… let’s drop the pretensions, shall we?

JULIAN: Whatever do you mean?

GARAK: You know that I have rebuilt the Obsidian Order, and the reason that I know that you know is because I know that you are working for Starfleet Intelligence. Your posting at Deep Space 9 is merely your cover. Why would a religious sanctuary like Deep Space 9 need a doctor of your capability, with such a limited Starfleet presence? I must admit, you have done an excellent job of obscuring your intelligence role.

JULIAN: Dear, dear Garak. Have you been keeping tabs on me? I suppose of all people you would be the only person I might be able to trust with such information. Assuming any of your conclusions are true. But Starfleet still has a presence and Deep Space 9 is still a major way station for commerce and diplomacy in the Bajoran sector.

GARAK: Of course you can trust me with sensitive information Julian-

JULIAN: [chuckles]

GARAK: -at least until there’s a reason you can’t. Oh, but let’s hope it never comes to that. I do like you; I did from the very beginning. You may be my only true friend. Since Mila’s passing, our all too infrequent exchanges have been my only respite from a world without trust. The political world on Cardassia deplores a vacuum and the old ways are clung to, even after the war. It took me years to bring Cardassians around to another way of thinking. The arts are celebrated, the people are fed. Life is no longer a struggle, but… paranoia is rampant once more.

JULIAN: Then I suppose you’ve been the ideal leader.

GARAK: Well, I do appear to have the appropriate skill set and experience, yes.

JULIAN: You could always go back to being a plain, simple tailor.

GARAK (LAUGHING): You would be surprised by how many of my old vocations I still dabble in. I’ve even taken up taxidermy! Yes, it’s true! But stuffing a tribble isn’t as challenging as perhaps a six-legged [uncertain] marsupial, but it passes the time. And so many wonderful things fit inside an animal that need only trill to appear alive.

JULIAN: [laughs]

GARAK: But as you said Julian, you are my friend, and one of the things I learned from working in the Obsidian Order under Enabran Tain, was that friends are a liability. Enemies are easy. Friends… friends are the challenge. When I was his protégé I had a job to do, relationships were tools to achieve my objectives. I don’t have time for friends, I don’t have room for emotional attachments.

JULIAN: And then you were exiled.

GARAK: And then… I was exiled.

JULIAN: I had no idea.

GARAK: About what?

JULIAN: Am I your only friend?

GARAK: Well… the only one living.

JULIAN: You said that your cardiopulmonary system seems to be demonstrating symptoms consistent with this neurolytic virus.

GARAK: Mm-hmm.

JULIAN: I need to at least access the database being used by the off-site researchers working on a cure.

GARAK: I’m sorry to disappoint you, Doctor – I’ve never been an ideal patient, as you well know. But while I trust you, I cannot risk any access that Starfleet Intelligence might have built into your shuttle.

JULIAN: Garak, you’re tying my hands. Do you have access to a medical scanner? Can you scan yourself?

GARAK: I’ve been a tailor, a gardener, a spy, who’s to say I’m not a doctor as well?

JULIAN: I suppose stranger things have happened.

GARAK: Oh, a shapeshifter saved the galaxy by going for a swim, a Starfleet captain turned out to be a god, a Cardassian legate turned out to be the devil, you were married to a woman three centuries your senior – stranger things, my dear doctor, happen all the time.

JULIAN: You may have a point. Although to be fair, Dax is three hundred years older, not Ezri. Ezri was several years younger than me.

GARAK: Semantics, Doctor.

JULIAN: Ah, here we are.

GARAK: I’m sorry?

JULIAN: I’ve created an encrypted backdoor to your central database.

GARAK: Ooh, of course you did. Yes, but it won’t help you. Our researches are working in a closed system, it is impossible to access their research through the central network.

JULIAN: Damn it, Garak, I’m trying to help you! I encrypted the access, there was no danger to you or you people! I used a fractal regression to develop access points at either end.

GARAK: And I sincerely appreciate your efforts, Julian. That’s why you’re here. And of course that is why I am convinced no one else will be able to save us.

JULIAN: I cannot do this without any information about the pathogen. And even the smartest person in the galaxy would be hard-pressed to develop a cure to an unknown virus quickly enough to prevent its spread or knowledge of its existence to the outside world.

GARAK: I have faith in you, Doctor. And to put your mind at ease, you should know that very few citizens on Cardassia are even aware that they are infected. And I’ve committed the Order to a substantial misinformation campaign to keep it that way.

JULIAN: How long do you expect that to last? The longer the infected believe that they’re free to live their normal lives or even to travel to and from health centers for treatment for whatever malady they believe they have, the faster the real virus will spread.

GARAK: Well, it seems its symptoms vary in their intensity. The cough can be persistent or periodic. And when that initial symptom passes, the neurological symptoms cause sufferers to present a variety of ailments. It is only those doctors who discovered the virus and were subsequently visited by some associates that are aware of the larger problem. And they are the very physicians currently researching the virus on my behalf.

JULIAN: If you are able to contact them then there’s no reason that I can’t access their data!

GARAK: Doctor, we’ve been through this.

JULIAN: Garak, we’ve been through a lot of things!

GARAK (LAUGHING): Yes.

JULIAN: You didn’t call me here to explain Cardassia’s post-war isolationist bureaucracy!

GARAK: [laughs]

JULIAN: I came because a friend in need asked me!

GARAK: You didn’t know why I called you, Doctor. So please, don’t offer me your selfless pretense.

JULIAN: Pretense?! You think after all this time your lives and deceptions would keep me from helping you? I can tell when you’re lying Garak, and you know when I’m telling the truth. I promise you that no one will ever know about your role in the cover-up of the virus, at least not from me.

GARAK: I… I want you to set course for the southern polar region of Cardassia Prime. The magnetic interference will make it more difficult for prying eyes to access your subspace signal. You’ll find that my alleged paranoia has a purpose. 

JULIAN: Computer, set course 118 mark 72.

COMPUTER: [chimes] Acknowledged.

JULIAN: Engage at one-quarter impulse.

COMPUTER: Course laid in. [chimes]

JULIAN: My signal was encrypted from the very beginning. I assume the same is true of the signal you used to isolate and redirect my subspace carrier wave. Isn’t it a little bit late to begin worrying now, Garak?

GARAK: Our signal may be secure between one another, but any system can be breached given enough time and expertise. And what I have to tell you…

JULIAN: Just tell me, Garak. I’m over the polar region as you asked.

GARAK: Yes, so you are, so you are. Now, good, wait- wait… Good. Now that we’re comfortably alone, let me ask you this: do viruses normally pop up undetected in a population with little to no prior warning? And how many unknown pathogens exist in a planetary ecosystem with our level of technological development?

JULIAN: Well, to be quite honest, pathogens can unexpectedly adapt or cross species barriers. Centuries ago on Earth, industrial pollution led to a climate change which in turn caused previously isolated microorganisms to be released into the biosphere.

GARAK: Yes, you truly have an answer for everything.

JULIAN: It comes in handy. But I suspect you’re going somewhere with this so please, continue.

GARAK: Our research has found some… peculiarities in the viral RNA, and admittedly I don’t understand all of the specifics, but, to put it bluntly, the virus has been engineered. I’m sending you two images of the viral RNA we’ve discovered. The images are all that I can risk sending you now. If you can find the source, you may find a cure. Alternatively, if a cure was not developed… you can avenge my death.

JULIAN: Not currently one of my skill sets, Garak. But why the pretense? You could’ve told me this immediately- actually, don’t answer that. I’ll need some time to do an analysis of this to determine what might work to counteract the viral infection. Annoyingly, there is no systemic treatment that I can even begin to research without knowing the underlying cause. But over the last twenty-five years, you must’ve made all sorts of new enemies. According to the latest intelligence, the only dangerous political intrigue is coming out of the Romulan Empire these days.

GARAK: Yes, well, leading a government comes with its own risks, to be sure, Doctor. But why do they have to be new enemies? Of course the Romulans have never been great fans of mine – I mean I left their embassy’s grounds-keeping staff so many years ago. Oh, those poor orchids, they’ll never be the same. And there’s always Kai.

JULIAN: The Kai.

GARAK: Ah, Kira- Kira, dear Kira’s never been a fan of mine.

JULIAN: We both know that Nerys would have never worked this slowly if she wanted to kill you.

GARAK: [laughs]

JULIAN: And she would only kill you. But Nerys is hardly the same person since she left the militia to join the Vedek Assembly, and now that she’s the Kai, this level of genetic manipulation would have to accomplished by someone with intimate knowledge of the Cardassian physiology as well as the capacity to evade security of your medical system.

GARAK: Yes, although like I said, it is an internal Cardassian matter. I’m sure there are plenty of elder Cardassians who would enjoy watching my life come to an end from torture. Dukat’s father- I mean, uh… [laughs] to one kanar-induced tryst with the man himself, to finally becoming involved with Ziyal, and whatever else-

JULIAN: Wait- wait, wait, wait you- hang on, you- you and Dukat?

GARAK: Ooh, yes. Surprising, isn’t it? Yes, two nights, maybe, before my exile, I’d been feeling quite powerful. I wouldn’t have normally lowered my guard even among my fellow Cardassians. Dukat was enjoying his second bottle of kanar, was looking for someone to blame for his most recent failures to overcome the Bajoran resistance, and there I was. He promised my death from across Quark’s bar. Later that evening he found his way back to my table to apologize – uncharacteristic, absolutely, to be sure. But kanar can do that to a man. We stole away to a quiet corner on the second level to talk, and then we found our way to an unoccupied holosuite.

JULIAN: I don’t know what to say.

GARAK: Well, I don’t need to tell you, Doctor – it was an unplanned direction for my evening to take. And suffice to say it didn’t soften Dukat’s general opinion of me. [laughs] He did keep his distance for a long time afterward.

JULIAN: So, that story had a happy ending, if you’ll pardon the pun.

GARAK: Pun?

JULIAN: Uh, it- it’d be funny on Earth. Though tragic, too – sort of like a sad clown, really. Miles will love it.

GARAK: Doctor, could we perhaps find out what is slowly eating away at me before revealing my darkest secrets to Professor O’Brien over an ale.

JULIAN: Of course, of course. I think the first step is to cross-reference known immunogenic agents that could have been introduced into your system. Even if the virus is a new pathogen, its mode of infection could be a million different things. You should review your schedule and try and determine an environment over which your control was limited, a place where the food and drink could’ve been tampered with or perhaps a place where you could have been unexpectedly exposed to an air assault. But… about this dalliance with Dukat-

GARAK: Oh Doctor, please. Provincial human attitudes aside-

JULIAN: Of course.

GARAK: -your species didn’t always have synthehol, and every species seems to go through a period of poor choices. Believe it or not, Cardassians are a passionate people, a people who yearn to find joy wherever it may lie. And remember, that we were in the midst of a Bajoran occupation and there wasn’t much joy to be had for those of us assigned to Terok Nor. Decades later, my reforms are helping to shape a modern Cardassia.

JULIAN: Understood. Though I take exception to the word ‘provincial’.

GARAK: Oh, of course you do. Now, let me take a look at my agenda… According to my doctors, I could have been exposed more than a month ago.

JULIAN: A month? Well, you certainly waited long enough to contact me.

GARAK: Well, well we do have doctors on Cardassia, and I wouldn’t be much of a leader if I didn’t look to my own people before seeking outside assistance. However, I’m not naïve enough to trust them completely. And what kind of leader would I be if I did?

JULIAN: Fair enough. I need to get some biometric information, please, from you if I’m even to begin researching cures. Can you transport yourself to a hospital with proper scanning equipment that I can access?

GARAK: Oh dear, I- I- I can do better than that, Doctor. I can do better than that. My residence is equipped with some of the best holographic technology in the quadrant – what type of equipment do we need?

JULIAN: I didn’t realize Cardassia had made such strides in holography.

GARAK: Oh, the technology is Federation, actually. Cardassian engineers build wonderful ships, but their work with artificial intelligence isn’t what it should be. Political life has its perks – I even have an EMH.

JULIAN: Well can I talk to him?

GARAK: Doctor, he’s obviously offline during this crisis. We’re wasting time better spent on the issue at hand! Now shall we begin?

JULIAN: Alright. Well the first thing we’ll need is a standard biobed with-

GARAK: Doctor, doctor, wait- I’m detecting a coherent signal directed at your shuttle. Yes, the magnetic currents over the poles should’ve obscured your presence. We may have a problem.

JULIAN: Hang on, it looks like an encrypted subspace signal… but I can’t determine the origin. Stand by, I’m trying- it’s… it’s from Earth. Well, I think I’ve got it. One moment… Jake?

[fade to black]

[CREDITS]

[neokad]

Touhou VI: The Embodiment of Scarlet Devil - or my first journey into a bullet hell game

Touhou is that one pew pew game series with cute anime gals, right?

Source: https://pixiv.kurocore.com/illust/54033795

Just like what I think are many people, that’s pretty much all I knew about the franchise as a whole! And to be honest, for a long long time, I was AFRAID of going any closer to anything Touhou-related! Because of them being bullet hecks, they seemed like the most frustrating and unfun games I could possibly be playing! But then... time passed... Fast forward to somewhere in 2020: I was watching the biyearly Games Done Quick event, and one of the first runs showcased during it was none other than Touhou Luna Nights! But while the speedrun itself was very impressive, the thing that really captivated me was well... everything else! Even though this was only a Metroidvania fangame, IT LOOKED LIKE SO MUCH FUN! The graphics, the special effects, the mechanics... everything just seemed like a dream!  In spite of that, I only picked the game up and played it about a year later, thanks to a Steam sale! And to keep things short, I ADORED it. It was a bit too short, but everything else was spot on, and even better than I thought it would be from what I saw at GDQ! But that’s sadly a review for another time :(  Because I literally fell in love in this game, well... I thought “screw it, I’ve been morbidly curious for years now, let’s actually try a freakin’ Touhou game!” 

And so, after some research I’ve learned that the sixth game - the first one released on Windows PCs! - was the one that served as inspiration for Luna Nights as a whole - its characters, music, stage aesthetics and more! It just seemed natural to settle with this one~

How did it go? What did I think about it? Well, that’s why we’re here: those are my thoughts about Touhou VI: the Embodiment of Scarlet Devil.

Now for a pointless history lesson: as I said earlier, Touhou 6 was the very first game published for Windows PCs, all the way back in 2002! The five previous games were actually exclusive to a Japan-only machine, the NEC PC-98, a line that prevailed strongly in Japan before Microsoft conquered the world. As such, it’s really the first game that’s still relatively accessible today, as PC-98 emulation is... not really a stable thing yet -_- So even though this wasn’t quite true, it’s as if I started my journey into Touhou with the original! And once I started playing, I was honestly surprised at one thing once I hit the title screen: this game actually has lots of options to make the experience easier or harder!

I know that being able to change your starting lives, starting bombs, choose your overall difficulty and such isn’t groundbreaking at all, but honestly? I didn’t expect things to be so customisable in a bullet heck game series - a genre that’s known for being merciless to players! I did decide to go on Normal to have the “intended” experience, but things aren’t as daunting as you may think!

This game also allows you to play as not only Reimu, the poster character of the franchise, but also Marisa! Both of these girls also boasts two different weapons each, with their own strengths, weaknesses and bomb attacks! Again, I genuinely did not expect so much breathing room even though looking back... I feel like I should have : P

Once I actually started playing the game itself, there’s yet another thing that surprised me: the difficulty curve... it’s... manageable??

Now granted, I’m a person that plays a *lot* of games, and on top of that, I play lots of action games as well, games that require quick reaction times, good pattern reading and so on so forth. So there’s a chance my judgement on the game’s difficulty might be wrong or biased... but to me? Embodiment of Scarlet Devil actually has a good difficulty curve! The first stage of the game has many enemies that can shoot many bullets, but they’re slow, predictable and relatively easy to avoid because you have lots of space to maneuver around! On that same train of thought, Rumia, the first stage’s boss, certainly doubles down on the number of bullets she can throw at you. But, their patterns are once again pretty slow and predictable, making things much more comfortable at the start of your adventure!

But hold on a minute here, how does this game actually plays? Well, this is where I need to let out a horrifying truth:

Touhou is actually really, REALLY fun.

At first it does seem like a pretty standard shooter: you shoot at things, dodge bullets, collect power ups to boost your weapon’s strength, and make sure you don’t die too much in order to reach the final boss in good shape. However, what I ended up loving about Touhou are its many, many mechanics that spice things up beautifully! The first one I wanna focus on is “Grazing” and it’s actually pretty simple: if you do your best to get close to a bullet or a laser without touching it with your (very small!) hitbox, you graze that bullet! Not only will a satisfying sound effect play out each time you graze something, you will also gain points each time you do this maneuver, making it essential for a high score, and especially, to gain extra lives faster!  Secondly, there’s bombing! I am totally repeating myself here, but while each character has a different kind of bomb to their disposal, they each function in relatively the same way: you get to launch a strong attack against your opponents, get invincibility frames, and on top of that, get rid of any bullets that are currently on the screen! I love bombs in this game because they create a great balance: you can totally use them for offensive purposes, buuuut they also serve as a great defensive clutch if you just find things too difficult at the moment.  Bombs even have two extra layers to them! When you will get hit and lose a life (and believe me, you will) your bombs will get refilled back to three, urging you to not hoard them too much even if you’d prefer to save them for a tougher part. Because if you die, you might just “waste” bombs in a way! However, here’s an advanced kicker: if you manage to hit the bomb button just as you are hit by a projectile (8 frames within death I think!) you not only are able to save yourself from losing a life, you also won’t lose a bomb at all, either! This is a very difficult trick, but a very cool and potentially important one if you plan things out in the heat of battle ^^

Then there’s a mechanic that, to my knowledge, got introduced in EOSD: the POC, as in Point Of Collection! Now, as you destroy the many enemies after Reimu or Marisa, they naturally drop many power ups and point icons, and because there’s many of these you’re bound to miss them. However, this is where the POC comes in: if you are at full weapon power, you will earn the ability to collect every icon on the screen! This makes sense and is actually very smart, because most players - myself included - tend to hug the bottom of the screen as bullets are more scarce and slower here. BUT reaching that POC close to the top of the screen is a great way to incentivise players to risk things in order to get a massive amount of points and gain extra lives way faster! And finally, as soon as you do reach that max power, the game will automatically wipe every single projectile off the screen, so it’s even possible to time when you’ll get your final power boost to make things easier on yourself!

All of those mechanics together make Touhou EOSD a pure joy to play! It’s simple on the surface but has such interesting mechanics and risk-reward elements that can push you out of your comfort zone, but never forces you to! And sure enough, I got addicted~

Even though I did say that the game had a good curve and started off not too difficult, it does not mean that your journey will be easy: even early game bosses such as Cirno and Meiling took me lots of practice to get consistent at, by studying their patterns and testing out which strategies worked the best for survival. And eventually, even Patchouli and Sayaka’s stages will test you out with lots of predictable-yet-deadly bullets to test out your screen reading skills and even reflexes.

Touhou may be more accessible than I thought, but do not be mistaken: on Normal, this game will still challenge you, and I absolutely love it for that <3 

Another thing that helps this game out is - please pretend to be surprised - the music. Touhou has always been known for bringing some very good tunes all around, but besides Luna Nights’s incredible soundtrack, I actually never got to listen to any of them besides Bad Apple and one fanime opening my bestie sent me one year ago. And well... it’s true!

The game uses some very artificial, even out-of-tune instruments for its music, but strangely enough, it REALLY works! It gives the music a very nostalgic, warm feeling that’s hard to describe, but it works so well at making those songs catchy as all heck! It also helps that the compositions themselves are pretty strong and surprisingly complex for its genre, too! I would pick a favourite theme to show off, but the soundtrack’s just really consistent and good all around!

Sadly, I mostly cannot say the same for the game’s presentation. This game is a PC app from 2002 and it sadly somewhat shows. I’ll even bring a special mention to the in-game portraits, which are hilariously HORRIBLE! Thankfully dedicated fans have made a patch to improve the game’s visuals so that they’re more in line with later titles, but at base it’s really not the prettiest gem visually...

...except for the spell cards, the bosses’s strongest attacks, which are genuinely gorgeous multicolored motives that will struck you in awe before you are inevitably destroyed by them, it’s great! My favourite is the one you get from Meiling’s mid stage encounter, pictured above!

Before wrapping up this long, long post, I do wanna add this: the game will unfortunately only give you the good ending only by playing on Normal and above, and only if you beat the game without using any continues. This is called a 1CC, or 1 Credit Clear. Even if I don’t think the bad ending’s actually that unsatisfactory, I did want to get better at the game! So I practiced for many hours a day for a couple of weeks, memorized each boss’s patterns, learned where to graze, when to optimally reach the POC to get as many points as possible... this game pushed me to get better with an incentive, a reward waiting at the end, on top of the satisfaction of simply cheesing what used to be so difficult at some point and... well, I think this is the proof of a well-crafted game right there. After many failed attempts, I finally managed to 1CC this game (pictures below!!) and it was, genuinely, one of the most satisfying moments in my gaming life <3 

So... yeah. I might be a Touhou fan now. Welp.

Touhou VI: The Embodiment of Scarlet Devil was such a pleasant surprise for me: I expected a game I’d find somewhat boring at best and frustrating at worst, but I ended up having a very, very good time, and honestly? It’s not as hard as you’d think it is! You can beat a Touhou game, so long as you are interested in practicing and getting better, and I promise it’ll feel rewarding in the best of ways <3

I just wanna say thank you to Luna Nights and Team Ladybug, because without them, I would have never been curious and then surprised by how cool this game is. Thank you <3 

And many thanks to you, the reading, for staying until the end! Thank you for reading!

[polar-stars]

☕️ + megumi and hojo?

(Give me a ☕️ + a character/ship and I’ll ramble off whatever thoughts and opinion I have about it)

Oho, interesting! Thanks for the ask!

Megumi Tadokoro

Megumi is a character I love and adore. She has given me no choice in that matter, lol. I cannot possibly dislike a character who portrays such a huge amount of real, genuine kindness. Adding to that, she's incredibly easy to relate to (I know that I am not the only one who does).

In my opinion Megumi has had some of the very best moments in all of Shokugeki, especially in it's earlier parts. The Shokugeki against Shinomiya in Trainings Camp is still my favorite battle in the whole manga after all. Her performance in the Autumn Election Premlins was also really satisfying and sweet to see. (Monkfish Preperation Scene Supremacy)

Tsukuda really did great on making Megumi a character that I really want to see succeed.....But that is where the problem comes in.

The problem is that Tsukuda struggles with the Show, Don't Tell-Rule from Central Arc onwards.

Pre-Central, Megumi's character development was solid in my opinion. It was believable and not too fast-paced. But once focus was shifted to Azami-Drama, Megumi and other characters had to take a little step back from the action. And Megumi's character arc started to stagnate.

Through Training Arc. Autumn Elections and Stagiares, Megumi had visibly gained some more confidence in herself and her stage fright problem from the beginning of the series was ceasing. However there was something missing: pay-off. Her character arc lacks proper pay-off.

You see, throughout all of Central Arc Megumi has not won any single fight on-screen. She was given one victory against Shigemichi Kumai but not even second of that fight was actually shown to the reader. But when it's time for a more detailed fight against Momo, she looses.

In her fight against Momo, the judges do find the time to point out tho that Megumi might hasn't been able to beat Momo however there is quote unquote ✨potential✨.

Thing is that the "potential"-thing has been getting old at that point. It felt very reminiscent to Megumi's fight against Ryo back in the Autumn Elections. Ryo was able to win, however it was made clear through multiple dialogue-lines that Megumi did give him a good fight, defying the expectations the audience had from her. So basically that fight was like: Yes, she lost now. But she is on the right path. There is a lot of potential.

The issue is that time has progressed ever since the AE and it was about time for us, the readers, to see that potential unfold.

But we never got that.

We get a lot, a lot of talking about Megumi's potential throughout Central Arc but never an actual showcase of it. And it does not get much better with BLUE Arc either (I mean, what do you expect from that trainwreck of an arc anyway?)

First off, despite all of her potential and her participation in the Regiment de Cuisine & the retaking of Totsuki as a whole Megumi somehow ends up with the lowest seat in the Neo-Elite 10??? And I'm just: Why??? Why is she the only explicitly ranked below Eizan & Nene (who got a massive downgrade) with everyone else far ahead? (Tho the Neo-Elite 10 Ranking as a whole is one confusing mess and I should probably stop trying to bring sense into it if I do not want to go insane, lol.)

The infamous Hot Spring Fight against a Noir is where we finally see Megumi shine a little on-screen (at least in the manga). And well....I enjoyed seeing that but...

It is still not the proper pay-off she deserves, I'm sorry. Because ultimately that Noir-Guy is some random One-Off we never saw again. And that's a problem.

This character had no time establishing himself to us. We barely know him.

To put it into perspective: Satoshi Isshiki beating Julio Shiratsu in the RdC did not feel like a very impressive thing. Because we have only come to know Julio in that one fight and had absolutely no judgement on how powerful he may be (not to mention, that he was mostly placed in a very ridiculous light). It would have been a lot more impressive to the reader had Satoshi won his later fight against Eishi Tsukasa, because Eishi is a character who we have spent a lot more time with and who has repeatedly been portrayed as absurdly skillful and an actual threat.

See what I mean? As much as I loved seeing Megumi being an absolute badass in that Hot Spring Saga...It was not the satisfying pay-off I want for her.

The few victories she gets are always against random One-Offs while her fights against the more important characters are always a loss for her. Case in point: BLUE. She gets anOTHER off-screened match against some Noir in Chinese clothes, whose name I won't bother looking up if he even has one, where all characters talk about how talented she is but once it's time for her to go up against big bad bitch Asahi she looses. And that sucks.

Not to forget the fact that Megumi always gets strung along to every big event but we never get much justification for her participation (other than the obvious Meta-Reason that she's a main character).

Think about it, her and Takumi got extremely lucky in Train Arc by having Rindou giving them a free pass just for the lulz, while everyone else got expelled. Then a good number of messy chapters later, Megumi and Takumi get invited into BLUE without even a shred of reasoning behind it. Why them? How random is it to invite the 1st, 7th and 10th seat but no one else? Meanwhile when BLUE Arc was first mentioned in the manga they told Jouichiro that it's actually extremely rare for a student in that age to get into this tournament. And Jouichiro was a 3rd year back then, what are those three 2nd Years doing there??

The anime at least addressed that by having Totsuki's students fight for the participation (I appreciated that, if only the episode that covers it wasn't so lazily done)

I'd have much less of an issue with that if they actually gave Megumi something to work with in that arc. But really in RDC and even more so in BLUE, she's mostly just there I feel. She barely really impacts the story meaningfully in both of these arcs, I feel.

And it's one big shame.

As I said, I love Megumi and Tsukuda set her up as someone who I wanted to see succeed and defy expectations. Her journey up till Central Arc was a lot of fun and very compelling but then it just...came to a halt. And her arc never got any real, proper closure I feel. She was instead pushed more and more into the background and she just did not deserve that, man.

Never forget that she is one of the mains after all and she should have been treated as one.

damn I did not think this would get this long ahhdhdf

Miyoko Hojo

When realising that Miyoko's speciality is Chinese cooking, I was super excited for her! I really love Chinese food and I've been waiting for it to be covered in Shokugeki up till that point.

I like Miyoko quite a lot, she's definitely one of my faves from the...well, I don't think "secondary" cuts it...the tertiary cast. Unfortunately we've got to see so painfully little of her.

I like that Megumi, in the most Megumi-ways, made her learn a lesson like "Feminism =/= You can not possibly get along with a man. Ever.", but it was also interesting to see acknowledgement of the inequality of men and women within the culinary business through Miyoko.

Miyoko's friendship with Megumi is something I adore and I would have very much liked more of it please. I enjoy the thought of Miyoko, this tough, unapproachable woman, having her face soften whenever this pure, little angel approaches her. Also 100% sure Miyoko would drop-kick whoever gives Megumi a funny look.

I also would have liked to see Miyoko interact more with Kuga, because I imagine it could have been a lot of fun. From the one, tiny interaction they've had I feel that Terunori actually respects Miyoko quite a bit. Which I think is interesting, because Terunori otherwise seems to enjoy bitching at people.

Honestly? If you ask me??? Miyoko should have been in the Regiment de Cuisine.

I'll never get over how she's shown in the audience, alongside Nao, smiling when the rebels are about to snatch victory. Like ahdhFJG, excuse me Ma'am what business do you have just watching??? You can not tell me that from what we've seen about Miyoko that she would not be up to kick Azami's ass out of Totsuki. I generally think it's stupid for the Rebels to go up against the Elites in a number even to them.

Azami. Explicitly told you guys. That you can bring more than that.

You were up against the Elite 10 Council.

YOU SHOULD HAVE ASKED ANYONE YOU CAN GET!

YOU SHOULD HAVE ASKED MIYOKO

(and Nao as well tbh)

(The Regiment de Cusine could have been a lot better to buy for me if the Rebels had shown up with more participants tbh but that's a different subject)

Anyways, as I said I wish we could have seen a lot more of Miyoko. But it just wasn't meant ot be :( I mean, when characters like Alice and Akira get pushed to the side, what chances does the tertiary cast have?

I'm at least glad that she is sort-off shown being the new president of the Chinese RS in Les Dessert 1? I like that for her.

But yes, ultimately...another criminally underused character. I look forward to write her being a cool mom in my fanfic tho.

[introvertguide]

Gone with the Wind; AFI #6

Our next film for review is the classic epic drama, Gone with the Wind (1939). This movie was the big award winner from a year that is often considered the best year for movies in American cinema history. The film won 8 Oscars including Best Picture, Best Director, Best Screenplay, and Best Actress. Notably, the film also had the first win for a black actor with Best Supporting Actress going to Hattie McDaniel (although she had to get special permission to sit in the back of the room since the awards took place at a segregated hotel). All these wins came against competition like The Wizard of Oz, Wuthering Heights, Stagecoach and Mr. Smith Goes to Washington. Although this film is considered to be one of the best American films of all time, there has been a lot of complaints about the depiction of house slaves and slavery in general in this film. I want to discuss why it is still great and the takeaway from the film, but first a quick synopsis of the plot will help. This movie is almost 4 hours long, so it will be much more condensed then usual, and I relied heavily on Wikipedia and IMDB entries to summarize this particular film. I do want to do the standard...

SPOILER ALERT!!!! IF YOU ARE AMERICAN, THEN YOU SHOULD PROBABLY WATCH THIS FILM AS ALMOST A CIVIC DUTY!!! IT IS A MAJOR PART OF AMERICAN CINEMA HISTORY AND SOMETHING THAT SHOULD BE EXPERIENCED!!! IF YOU HAVEN’T SEEN IT, I IMPLORE YOU TO GO AND WATCH IT BEFORE READING ANY FURTHER!!!

In 1861, on the eve of the American Civil War, Scarlett O'Hara (Vivien Leigh) lives at Tara, her family's cotton plantation in Georgia, with her parents and two sisters and their many slaves. Scarlett learns that Ashley Wilkes (Leslie Howard), whom she secretly loves, is to be married to his cousin, Melanie Hamilton (Olivia de Havilland), and the engagement is to be announced the next day at a barbecue at Ashley's home, the nearby plantation Twelve Oaks. At the Twelve Oaks party, Scarlett makes an advance on Ashley, but instead catches the attention of another guest, Rhett Butler (Clark Gable). The barbecue is disrupted by news of the declaration of war, and the men rush to enlist. In a bid to arouse jealousy in Ashley, Scarlett marries Melanie's younger brother Charles before he leaves to fight. Following Charles's death while serving in the Confederate States Army, Scarlett's mother sends her to the Hamilton home in Atlanta, where she creates a scene by attending a charity bazaar in her mourning attire and waltzing with Rhett, now a blockade runner for the Confederacy.

The tide of war turns against the Confederacy after the Battle of Gettysburg, in which many of the men of Scarlett's town are killed. Eight months later, as the city is besieged by the Union Army in the Atlanta Campaign, Melanie gives birth with Scarlett's aid, and Rhett helps them flee the city. Once out of the city, Rhett chooses to go off to fight, leaving Scarlett to make her own way back to Tara. Upon her return home, Scarlett finds Tara deserted, except for her father, her sisters, and two former slaves: Mammy (Hattie McDaniel) and Pork (Oscar Polk). Scarlett learns that her mother has just died of typhoid fever and her father has become senile. With Tara pillaged by Union troops and the fields untended, Scarlett vows she will do anything for the survival of her family and herself.

(Little bit of a side note, this seems to be where several of the commenters on IMDB thought the movie ended as the phrase “ends with Scarlett vowing never to go hungry again” showed up more than once. This is the point of the intermission and the two halves are very different from each other, but this is by no means the end of the film. It is a very good time to take a break if you are watching it so I suggest taking more than the intermission time to stretch your legs. This is a really long movie.)

As the O'Haras work in the cotton fields, Scarlett's father attempts to chase away a scalawag from his land, but is thrown from his horse and killed. With the defeat of the Confederacy, Ashley also returns, but finds he is of little help at Tara. When Scarlett begs him to run away with her, he confesses his desire for her and kisses her passionately, but says he cannot leave Melanie. Unable to pay the Reconstructionist taxes imposed on Tara, Scarlett dupes her younger sister Suellen's fiancé, the middle-aged and wealthy general store owner Frank Kennedy, into marrying her, by saying Suellen got tired of waiting and married another suitor. Frank, Ashley, Rhett and several other accomplices make a night raid on a shanty town after Scarlett is attacked while driving through it alone, resulting in Frank's death. With Frank's funeral barely over, Rhett proposes to Scarlett and she accepts.

Rhett and Scarlett have a daughter whom Rhett names Bonnie Blue, but Scarlett, still pining for Ashley and chagrined at the perceived ruin of her figure, lets Rhett know that she wants no more children and that they will no longer share a bed. One day at Frank's mill, Scarlett and Ashley are seen embracing by Ashley's sister, India, and harboring an intense dislike of Scarlett she eagerly spreads rumors. Later that evening, Rhett, having heard the rumors, forces Scarlett to attend a birthday party for Ashley. Incapable of believing anything bad of her, Melanie stands by Scarlett's side so that all know that she believes the gossip to be false. After returning home from the party, Scarlett finds Rhett downstairs drunk, and they argue about Ashley. Rhett kisses Scarlett against her will, stating his intent to have sex with her that night, and carries the struggling Scarlett to the bedroom.

The next day, Rhett apologizes for his behavior and offers Scarlett a divorce, which she rejects, saying that it would be a disgrace. When Rhett returns from an extended trip to London, Scarlett informs him that she is pregnant, but an argument ensues which results in her falling down a flight of stairs and suffering a miscarriage. As she is recovering, tragedy strikes when Bonnie dies while attempting to jump a fence with her pony. Scarlett and Rhett visit Melanie, who has suffered complications arising from a new pregnancy, on her deathbed. As Scarlett consoles Ashley, Rhett prepares to leave Atlanta. Having realized that it was him she truly loved all along, and not Ashley, Scarlett pleads with Rhett to stay, but Rhett rebuffs her and walks away into the morning fog, leaving her in tears on the staircase. A distraught Scarlett resolves to return home to Tara, believing that one day she will get Rhett back.

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

While discussing this film with my mom, she mentioned that the film has had a different effect on her each time and she felt like it was because she was a different person each time she saw it. I have had the same experience and I find that rewatching the film is a good way to see how your own perspective has changed over time. I first saw this as a teen and thought Rhett Butler was a cold man who could could not forgive a suffering Scarlett who was trying to figure out her priorities during a trying time. In my twenties, I could only focus on the depiction of slavery and thought that people should not watch the film at all. In my thirties, I hated Scarlett and wished that she had died instead of her friend or the daughter because she was dramatic and made bad situations worse. I recently turned forty and watched it again...

I still find Scarlett to be dramatic and the cause of many of her own problems, but at the same time I would expect this from somebody her age (I think I finally separated the age of the actress from the age of the character) with her “Princess of the South” upbringing. I can’t really empathize since her life was much easier than mine, but I can sympathize after working with many rich teens who are spoiled and don’t know how to act in an emergency. I think I understand better about how the author of the book was trying to portray this plantation lifestyle as almost royalty and the slaves were like the 1850s Southern United States version of royal attendants. I find the language very cringy, but all of the house slaves at the O’Hara plantation have their place in the story. This is probably an accurate depiction of what somebody from the old South would want to glamorize plantation life as being to people living in the 1940s, and thus historically valuable. I find Rhett Butler to be somewhat similar to Han Solo: somebody who looks out for his own best interest but softens for good people and good causes. He seems to do good things except when he gets drunk and forces himself on Scarlett (marriage and sexual assault are not mutually exclusive). He is otherwise pretty faultless, but that scene drops him quite a few pegs in my eyes.

One thing that sticks with me each and every time is when Scarlett is working at the army hospital and the doctor wants her to help with an amputation. They have nothing to numb the pain and there is a young man screaming not to cut into his leg...I can’t even imagine yet I know that this was not even uncommon during the height of the war. I remember watching a documentary on the Civil War and a real photo showing a pile of amputated limbs at a makeshift tent hospital. The pile looked to have more than 100 limbs and I am sure they did not have enough morphine for all of these men. The best field doctors were said to be more strong and stoic than accurate since being able to saw through a man’s leg quickly was a major commodity. This horrifically honest portrayal of war in the midst of the Nazi threat and a couple of years before the entry of the U.S. into WW2 took courage. I was able to sublimate a little more during this viewing since there was no on-screen cutting. I also tried to imagine the man doing the voice over and screaming “Don't cut my leg!” in a sound studio. It helped. Another thing that I didn’t know during previous viewings was that when she exits the building and sees the hundreds of soldiers in the streets, half of the bodies on the ground are manikins. Look very closely at the middle picture above...half over those bodies are fakes.

I learned a lot from the extras that were with this movie since I borrowed my friend’s DVD box set. It was unexpected to me that the three slaves were my friend’s favorite characters (Pork, Mammy, and Prissy), since my friend is a black woman in her 70s and grew up during the Civil Rights movement when films that depicted slavery in this way were generally looked down upon. My friend said she was glad to see black actors at all from the era and the movement had to start somewhere. The actors seemed to be of the same opinion with Hattie McDaniel saying she would rather portray a maid and get paid like an actor than have to actually be a maid. Speaking roles for black actors were very few, especially in big budget movies, so there was not a lot of concern about the character being portrayed. This makes since, especially after the Great Depression. Having a role playing a stereotyped house slave still meant a great paycheck at the end of the week. I also liked that one of the things that Rhett Butler wanted and had difficulty getting was approval from Mammy concerning the courtship of Scarlett. Mammy was a slave, but she knew a lot of secrets and was not powerless.

My favorite character this time around was Melanie Hamilton because she is just a good person. She is not helpless and she doesn’t complain about her problems, she just handles her business and keeps supporting her family with a strength that I am not likely to truly know. I was saddened to hear that the actress recently passed away as, similar to her character, she seemed like a real survivor that would live forever. Apparently the actress, Olivia de Havilland, was not nearly as demure and liked to play jokes on her fellow actors. She also made a lot of fun about the age gap between Vivien Leigh and the actress playing Scarlett’s mother (there was a real life age difference of 4 years). Havilland also had the crew tie her to a chair that Clark Gable was supposed to lift her from and he nearly threw out his back.

It is a little surprising how much adversity occurred on set since there were a lot of injuries, actors who didn’t really like their character (Vivien Leigh described her character as a “raging bitch”), giant sets that were lit on fire so only one take was possible, and the portrayal of the South and slavery in a favorable light. However, like so many other films on the AFI list, it seems like the difficulties are what bonded the groups together to make classic cinema. It seems like a little adversity and strife can bring out the best in film makers.

So does this movie belong on the AFI list? Maybe more than any other movie ever made. It is the top film from the pinnacle year of the Golden Age of Hollywood. It is a historical drama about a singularly American topic based on an American best seller. I think a list about great American movies should probably start with films like this and go from there. Absolute classic. Would I recommend it? Yes, and I would actually recommend multiple viewings because your interpretation will change throughout your life. This is a superiorly good movie that should be viewed, no matter how it is interpreted. Just make sure to plan a break because this movie is epic in scale and in run time. Still totally worth it.

[bonesaldente]

Caliginous I Darth Maul x Reader

Chapter 14: The Survival

Final Chapter of Part I

(see notes at the end for more)

ao3

previous chapter

chapter overview

words: ~3200

____

The morning air is chilly on your bare arms. Elbows leaning on the balustrade, you stare at the masses of water. They’re constantly in motion, never in one place for too long, yet still essentially the same wherever they are.

You never held much love for your guild, not for the people part of it and not for what they made you - a killer, cold, but not cold-blooded enough to not care. Dangerous enough for people to be wary of you, but not menacing enough to command people. You hold power, but only over yourself, and even that doesn’t seem to be yours entirely.

No, you don’t like the guild, but you can't imagine a life outside of the path they chose for you; there is not much you’re good at outside of fighting and murdering. Whatever you do, you always seem to revert to the same old ways.

“What’s on your mind?”

You didn’t hear Maul join you on the balcony, but seeing him stand next to you from the corner of your eye pulls you out of your thoughts.

“Just thinking. Lots of ‘What ifs’, nothing worth mentioning.”

He hums quietly.

“I sometimes wonder what would have been if I hadn’t been made what I am now. If I had been born free.”

It’s easier to talk like this when you are able to just stare off into the distance, not having to face anyone.

He doesn’t stop you, so you keep talking.

“Maybe I would be a bounty hunter. Live on my own terms, don’t rely on authorities but do things myself.”

“It would fit your skills,” he agrees.

You shrug. “Maybe in another life. I am with you now, and I intend on staying. That is,” you face him, “as long as you want me to.”

“Do you truly still question that?” The corner of his mouth twitches in a hint of a smile.

“I’m just making sure,” you mumble. “To be honest, I don’t know what I’d do if I were alone. This galaxy is too big to travel on your own.”

He looks at the sky in thought, blinking slowly.

“I won’t leave you alone.”

*

Morning came around faster than you expected it to. A service droid knocked on your door to drop off trays with food shortly after the sunset, delivering the first real food you’ve had in weeks.

It’s strangely casual to eat at that table with Maul; it doesn’t feel like you two are currently taking over a system, while also waging a war against the Jedi.

“I don’t like the Naboo… but their fruit is good,” you admit while the sweetness fills your mouth.

“Is it?”

“Try it,” you push your plate over to him, but he pushes it back without taking a piece.

“My species is carnivorous,” he explains, exposing his prominent canines to illustrate his point.

“Huh,” you tilt your head. How come you didn’t know that?

“You’re missing out, then.”

His nose crunches up in disgust. “It doesn’t seem all that appealing.”

When he moves his face like that, the black inking on his nose gives him a very youthful look, and you have the terrible urge to boop his nose.

Where are those thoughts coming from all of a sudden?

You just shake your head, proceeding to munch on the vast array of fruit, perfectly content with your choice of food.

“Gunray expects us in an hour for another briefing. We will then wait for my master to give us more intel on the plan of the queen, then we will come up with a strategy. It is likely we will have another encounter with her and her protectors soon.”

You sigh quietly, already dreading the moment you have to let him walk into a duel again. “Yeah.”

You just hope it won’t be so soon.

*

“We are sending all troops to meet this army assembling near the swamp. It appears to be made up of primitives.”

The blue hologram sways with the movement of the droid projecting it into the air.

“This will work to our advantage,” Lord Sidious remarks.

“I have your approval to proceed, then, my Lord?” The Neimoidian sounds nervous, not just because of your and Maul’s presence anymore, but also because of the hooded man speaking to him. You can’t blame him; Sidious gives you, too, a queasy feeling in your stomach.

“Wipe them out,” Sidious orders. “All of them.”

The transmission ends, and with it the tenseness in your muscles.

“They will try to use the battle as a diversion,” Maul points out.

“We shall prepare droid forces in the palace and ready ourselves for a possible ambush,” Gunray agrees, bowing to him. “And we can monitor the situation in the palace from the surveillance room.”

He leads the way along with his lieutenant, Maul and you following with a distance.

“He is concerned for his personal safety,” Maul murmurs, so that only you can hear it. “He fears they will capture him and hold him accountable.”

You lean in but don’t take your eyes off the billowing robes of the green skinned politician.

“He does seem like a coward.”

You barely manage to suppress a yelp when suddenly, he grabs your arm and pulls you behind a pillar, hidden from the view of the two oblivious men still walking.

His lips clash into yours with an urgency you can’t quite comprehend, while he pushes you into the stone of the pillar.

The surprise at his sudden display of affection hardly gives you time to enjoy it, and he pulls away much too fast.

“I… just got a feeling,” his eyes look troubled.

“A force-feeling?” You inquire, already knowing the answer.

A small nod confirms your guess.

“Should I be worried?”

He scans your face for a second.

“You already are. But no, you should not,”

“Well,” looking over his shoulder, you see the men have almost rounded the next corner, “I think we need to catch up with our green friends.”

He nods, but doesn’t pull away from you for another moment, something else hiding behind his glowing eyes, something you’re not sure you want to understand.

Everything is going to be alright. It has to.

*

“I thought the battle was going to take place far from here. This is too close!”

Your eyes are glued to the screen, which has just changed to an overview over the yard, where blasterfire can be heard from a distance, tanks smoking and exploding.

You track the movement of the attackers, trying to anticipate their next destination. Until now, the Jedi have been mowing through the droids as if it were nothing, slowly and steadily bringing down the palace’s defenses. The group of politicians in the room is growing anxious, and rightfully so.

“The hangar,” you finally pipe up, watching the men pile through an entrance on the west side. “They are headed for the hangar!”

“If they get a hold of the starfighters they could issue an attack on the droid control ship and shut down our army!” The viceroy exclaims, dread lacing his voice.

“We must move now.” Maul decides. “Focus your forces on the hangar.”

“But they do nothing against the Jedi, as long as-”

“I will take care of the Jedi.”

So this is it.

Secretly, you have been hoping the droids would be enough to finish the Jedi. A foolish, naive wish, but still, there is disappointment swirling in your blend of emotions.

“We should evacuate this room… To the throne room!” the lieutenant suggests, watching as another tank blows up.

The mood in the surveillance room shifts - the politicians didn’t expect to get caught up in an actual battle when they came here.

“I will stay here,” you quietly notify Maul.

It’s the only way I can still watch over you, remains unsaid.

The doors open and the people start to crowd out, Maul following last, waiting until the last man has turned his back to you two. Again, something is in the air, something that he is sensing but not telling you.

“See you in a bit?” You ask timidly.

“Yes,” His gloved hand brings you into his chest, your ear right over his jugular where you hear his steady pulse. The sound of life. You wish you would never hear anything else again. One hand holds your head close, the other intertwines your fingers briefly.

“Yes,” he repeats, with more resolve this time around.

It physically pains you when you have to let go, but you both know that you have to.

You keep yourself from watching his retreating form, telling yourself that you are overreacting and imagining a goodbye where there is only a “see you later”.

You click through the holocam views until you have found a good view on the hangar.

A full on shootout is happening, and several starfighters have already taken off. Droids are falling left and right, cut in half or hit by a deflected blaster bolt.

There is no sound, but it is clear they are speaking to each other now, planning their next steps. They start moving to the gate, but when it opens, it reveals none other than… Maul.

Looking as menacing as the first time you met him, he makes the group freeze in place. Your fingers tremble, knowing that a fight for life and death is about to start.

So much to lose… and what is to win? For you, it doesn’t matter if the Trade Federation will be able to have some kind of treaty with Naboo. You don’t even care if there will be two Jedi less to travel the galaxy; All you really want is for Maul to make it out of there alive.

The people surrounding the Jedi run through a smaller exit on the side, but it’s obvious that Maul is far past caring about anything other than the two targets before him. He removes his hood and drops his robe at the same time that the Jedi do, not once looking away from them. Even through a low resolution, flickering screen, the tension is evident.

With a practiced twirl, Maul ignites first one end of his red lightsaber, then the other, balancing it in front of his body.

The two Jedi follow his example and present their blue and green blades.

For a moment, it’s as if time stands still, the only indication of its progress your heartbeat thumping in your ears.

And then, the duel begins.

You wince, unable to breathe while watching the flurry of blue, green and red. They move much too fast for you to follow with your eyes, yet you can’t peel your eyes off the screen. It feels as though even blinking will cause you to miss something, and you can’t, you cannot miss even a second of this fight. What if he gets injured, or worse, while you’re not looking?

The duel moves closer to the generator complex. You watch the men balance and jump over narrow catwalks: A drop from this height would be deadly, and that’s without two men with lightsabers viciously attacking you.

You suck in a sharp breath when Maul manages to catapult the Jedi who looks like what they call a ‘padawan’ over the edge with a kick behind his back.

For the fraction of a second, you take your eyes off your lover and instead watch the blond man fall, huffing in disappointment when he manages to hold on to a ledge.

The next moment, Maul himself is sent flying, fortunately landing on a lower catwalk. He narrowly blocks the next attacks while still on his back, and you heave out a sigh of relief when he is back on his feet, out of the vulnerable position.

They get closer to the edge of what the holocam can capture, and you fumble with the keypad for a few seconds to get a better view.

When the different angle appears, everything is tinted red. It takes you a minute to understand that you’re looking at red force fields that separate the power generator room from the rest of the palace. Maul and the Jedi are on different sides of the fields, putting a pause on the intense fight. The Jedi master is meditating, while your Sith is pacing up and down like a wild animal, like a predator.

They must feel a change in the force, because simultaneously, they ignite their sabers again, just seconds before the force fields retract row by row. Immediately, the Jedi master is back on Maul, both of them moving backwards, inching closer to another deep drop, something that looks like a reactor shaft.

The padawan is once again separated by a force field, shuffling to a halt right before it closes. Both of you are stuck watching your partners fight; and what a fight it is. The exchange is faster than ever this time, yet everything seems to slow down to slow motion when Maul stuns the Jedi by knocking the handle of his lightsaber against the man’s head, then rams the blade right through his chest.

Your entire body relaxes in your seat. Just one more to go, this shouldn’t be a problem. Everything is going to be alright now. He has killed one of them, all that’s left is the padawan. Yeah, this won’t be a challenge. You’ll be reunited in no time and-

The field retracts once more and like a beast set loose, the padawan charges at Maul. It is an incredibly fast paced fight, faster than with the master, so fast that you have to force your eyes to focus on the spectacle.

A small gasp escapes you when his lightsaber is cut in half, one half flying off to the side, the other remaining in his hand when he is pushed on his back again.

“Get up, get up,” you mumble, watching as the padawan flips over him. Maul, of course, jumps back up before the other man can land any strikes, elegantly evading his attacks.

Their sabers clash, interlocking for a second, then Maul pushes the padawan back, using the force to shove him over the edge, sending him falling a few feet down the shaft, where he just barely manages to hold on to a pipe.

From your angle, the ground partially obscures your vision on the man, but an early sense of victory fills you. Now, you two will be able to leave and make your own decisions. You’ve proven your worth, and now-

Your skin feels numb.

You are still breathing, but there is no oxygen reaching your lungs. Reality seems so far away, so disconnected, as you stare. You stare and watch the Jedi padawan leap, summoning his master’s abandoned lightsaber, flying over Maul’s head.

And then, suddenly, Maul is falling.

Your body goes cold, then hot, then back to cold, bile rising up your throat.

A shaking hand clasps over your mouth, and it’s only then that you realize that your entire body is shaking.

Your vision blurs, all you can see is the padawan running to the body of his master, crouching down next to it.

Maul is just… gone. Disappeared, down the reactor shaft. How could this happen?

It’s not true, it’s not true, he can’t die, it can’t be,-

Trembling, your breaths coming out short, accompanied by a desperate sob, your fingers find the keypad again, and you rewind the footage. You have to see it again, you just have to, despite already knowing what’s coming.

The padawan jumps, Maul turns, the green blade slices right through his stomach.

You rewind again, and the same footage plays out in front of your eyes.

You rewind again, and again, until the images are burned into the back of your head. When you bury your face in your hands, instead of darkness, the same images welcome you. There is no escape from your emotions, but you still try.

 You don’t know where you’re going, all you know is that you need to get away. The sounds of blasterfire still echo in the corridors, but they are far away.

You wish they were here.

You wish you weren’t alone.

Passing a statue that looks familiar, your sense of orientation returns to you. If you turn left here, you should reach the hangar.

But do you really want to? Can you?

No, you can’t. You’ll break down, that much is certain, but do you have a choice? Could you live with yourself, not having gone to look with your own two eyes?

You pass multiple piles of droid remains, and some dead bodies clad in the maroon color of the Naboo guard, which does little to soothe your sorrow.

The hangar, too, is deserted, and you head straight for the high gate that you watched the men disappear through just minutes ago. Before everything changed.

The gate opens after you press a button on the control panel and you fall into a sprint to the generator. There is a glimmer of stupid, unreasonable, unjustified hope in you still, and the closer you get to the scene, the faster you run.

You round a corner and immediately crash into someone, stumbling backwards and barely catching yourself before falling.

Your jaw drops.

The man before your eyes is the Jedi padawan, the one who took everything, the one who killed Maul, staring at you with wide eyes as if he hadn’t just destroyed your life.

Behind him lies the body of his master - he must have dropped it when you ran into him.

He still hasn’t moved, and neither have you. He could kill you, quite easily probably, with as distraught you are. Maybe he should - it certainly would be more pleasant than Darth Sidious deciding to dispose of you. The thought alone sends you into another fit of shivers.

The padawan holds your stare for another moment, then he lifts his master’s body again and staggers past you.

You watch him leave in shock. He is not going to fight you? He is not going to even ask you why you are running towards the reactor? And you? Shouldn’t you at least try to get revenge for what he did? The killer of the one person you loved is right here, and you are letting him get away just like that.

But you are a survivor. You have always been.

And if letting the Jedi get away means you will live to see another day, then so be it. You will survive purely out of spite, and one day, you will get revenge.

You start running again, until the reactor shaft appears in your vision.

And of course he is not there. How would he? You watched him die, how could your desperate mind even let you think he might still be there, alive, hanging on to a pipe just like the Jedi did?

You sink to your knees, the tears running freely now, and you feel so, so alone in the universe.

 You will live, if only to live the days that were taken from him. There is still fire glowing in your chest, and the looming darkness that being alone presents will not be able to extinguish it.

‘Your purpose,’ his voice resounds in your head, ‘is to live.’

When he said that, you thought he meant that you are of no use to the cause if you are dead.

Not, that should he die, you shall live.

 “I will live,” Your whisper echoes through the air, the only answer you get the repetition of your own words, combined with dry sobs from somewhere deep in your chest.

You will live.

_____

So! Angst!! That's always fun :)))

I have already started planning and mapping out my ideas for a part two that's set during the Clone Wars era. I plan on posting a little teaser soon, but the story itself is still going to take some time. Also, my classes are starting again, so I don't know how much time I'm going to have.

I already have so many ideas for things I could do in a part II, and I'm really excited to share them in the near future :)

Thank you to everyone who has read this. It means the world to me when I hear somebody likes what my garbage brain produces.

All comments/messages/asks are welcome anytime, and I’m still going to be active on here <3

Everyone on the tag list: Unless you don’t want me to, I’ll keep tagging you for part II, if that’s ok :)

____

@princessayveke​ @spaghetti-666​ @larawl @noiralei @secretnerd00 @bagpipes606 @zabrak-show @brilliantbutbatty

[highgaarden]

7+57+67 sounds like an interesting mix for one fic for the great if u could 🥺🥺

as a special treat for reading this, you are all allowed to suspend your disbelief for extra enjoyment. 

prompt: peter/catherine + “a kiss for good luck?” + “i’m tired, just cuddle me.” + “is that my shirt?”

green was the grass;

The Swedes decide to visit one summer that could only be described as vividly sweltering. Hugo and Peter spend long afternoons yelling ‘rabbit’ and shooting at nothing; Agnes and Catherine take a turn about her private library, commenting on this title or that. Their first ever royal couple friends bring along with them dogs and cats and acrobats; hallon and körsbär and jordgubbar; theatre and art and a brand new printing press of the latest model.

Peter presents the grand appetizers of their summer dinner: pan-seared foie gras spelling out KING HUGO, and a relatively smaller queenagnes. Hugo giggles in glee.

Hugo takes an immense liking to smash bottles. Agnes kisses his ball before he swings it back - all but three of his bottles go down.

Two turns later Peter gets the same idea. He rushes to Catherine, who looks bewildered to have been pulled out of her commentary with Orlo. With unpracticed swiftness Peter pulls her up to him and presses a kiss to her lips.

“For luck,” he says when he pulls back. He has the temerity to wink at her.

Catherine wills her fingers not to to graze the spot  on her lips that Peter had touched with his.

&

The days continue.

The days get cooler.

On the first day of autumn Hugo and Agnes leave in a crash and bang of fireworks that Peter had insisted on. Many of the court suffered singed wigs for that night, all but Peter, who had pulled Orlo in front of his line of fire.

Hugo’s brilliant smile had dimmed somewhat by the time he climbed into his carriage, but all in all it was a pretty good visit.

And finally, there is peace and quiet in the court.

More importantly there is a tree on the edge of the vast greens that Catherine has a particular fondness for. It reaches up into the sky with the vigour of a child excited for first snowfall. In the winter it looks especially  dashing, and she used to enjoy imagining it in battle-weary uniform, finally come to take her away from this madness.

Now she mostly comes here to read the days away when her study feels too stifling. Back home she always had the run of the garden whenever she had a new book; mother knew well enough to leave her lunch on the little table father had set up just for her, and she would lay nestled in the roots of their great oak tree, turning pages with enraptured focus.

She cannot quite tether her joy the same way anymore, not since coming here. But it remains a pleasant respite. For once, she does not have to think about anything more pressing than the new tome Volti - as she had come to calling him as well much to Peter’s delight - had written. He had sent it to her with nothing but a little caricature of his wink scrawled on the cover, that French fuck.

She is barely a quarter way through when she hears the sound of panting and leaves breaking underfoot. She shifts under the blanket she’d brought along and tries to peer behind the thick trunk of the tree. Craning her neck, she sees nothing.

Someone taps on her shoulder, and she screams.

“Wife!” Peter yelps back.

“What are you doing here!” she splutters. In my sanctuary, she adds, silently dismayed.

“I run here,” Peter says too casually.

“You run in the woods on the north of the palace,” she accuses.

Peter shifts his gaze to the leaves overhead. “I have decided to try a new route.”

“This path is utterly uninteresting for a run.”

“I dare not say the same. It led me to you, did it not?”

Catherine falls silent, struck.

“I suppose you will be on your way now,” she prompts once she finds her voice. She looks pointedly down at her book, barely broken in.

“Oh, is that the new Volti?” Peter asks with interest, and with no invitation whatsoever crawls into the space her blanket allowed and grabs the the note Volti had written, slipped from the middle of the book, from her hand.

“Interesting,” Peter muses.

“You’re studying the diagram upside down.”

Unperturbed Peter just flips the note over and nods as if impressed. “Even more so!”

Catherine chuckles. “You are ridiculous, husband.”

“ You are the ridiculous one, isolating yourself on such a beautifully orange morning.”

“Perhaps I wanted the solitude.” Her lips twitch. “The quiet.”

“Do you not want for company?” Peter asks, a little too quickly to be feigned as glibness.

Catherine looks at him closer. “Do you?”

Peter just huffs. “I am tired and cold from my run. Shift over so the blanket covers both of us properly, thank you very much.”

Their knees knock together. The blanket was barely big enough to cover one person, let alone two. She has to practically sit between Peter’s legs. It didn’t occur to her that maybe she could have just let Peter have the whole blanket, it was not that col--

Peter’s breath ghosts her ear and she gives a full bodied shiver.

Forget it, it was cold alright.

Peter clears his throat and solemnly announces, “ Results of the execution of Jean Calas.”

Catherine hides her smile as Peter attempts to read what must be to him ancient Latin. She rests her chin on his shoulder as she reads with him, and every so often laughs when Peter says something stupid like, “I don’t know about you, but Volti’s hair seemed a little phallic on his last visit, did it not?”

“Just turn the page,” she says instead of confirming her agreement.

&

At the end of Winter it starts to heat up miraculously quickly. Everyone rejoices, and Peter demands a bonfire. The fire does not survive as long as everyone wants with the ground still so damp from melting snow still, but does its job in cheering the court.

Perhaps too good a job, because with the screens to bear the harsh cold of their winter still secured to the windows, it became an obstacle for the sudden heat spell and for Catherine, who was trying to adjust to the sudden warmth of the night.

It was odd: all winter she’d longed for a burst of heat, for her bed to be placed right next to the fireplace. Her night gown was not suited for the occasion: all at once it seemed too thick, too long. She huffs out in frustration as it becomes clear she won’t be able to sleep until she’s cooled.

She wishes for the thigh-grazing hems of Peter’s breezy tunics.

Her mind made up, she creeps her way down the hall and turns corners until she finds Peter’s quarters. He is sleeping soundly which she is grateful for, and makes her way as quietly as possible to his wardrobe. It is a little deeper than expected, perhaps put away to make space for the thicker clothes this winter demanded, but she finds what she is looking for. Shucking her nightdress quickly in favour of her husband’s shirt, she sighs when the cool material skims the skin over her shoulders, her stomach. She is comfortable in an instant.

In fact, Peter’s room was a lot cooler than hers. She frowns and goes to investigate.

Her eyes land immediately on the gash in the screen of his windows. The obvious tool for the crime was in an axe lying on the floor amongst splinters. Had he really smashed his screen in, in a fit of rage? Was she really all that surprised?

Not really.

At any rate, it isn’t fair that he gets to sleep in comfort while she absolutely writhed in the heat - in her lack of sleep she may have, perhaps, exaggerated the details a little.

Peter wakes immediately when she clambers into bed beside him, dipping her toes into his bed which is devoid of any warming pans. Of course. She had forgotten about them, too used to them by now to think anything out of the ordinary.

“Mmm,” Catherine sighs contentedly as she burrows herself deeper into the covers.

“I see you are reaping the benefits of my hard work,” Peter smirks. “You are lucky I have just learned that intolerance is humanly unlawful, so I suppose you may stay.”

“You suppose,” Catherine coos mockingly, and Peter blinks in her change of demeanour. He remembers distractedly that she had received word from home today. She is always extra bouncy whenever that happens. He wonders if her father had sent her any trinkets like last time, when he’d found her turning a little chess piece in her hands over and over again, her eyes sombre.

Peter decides to say nothing about it lest he break whatever spell she is in, but does tug his share of the blanket back to his side. He had not been exaggerating earlier; Catherine was hogging the sheets and he did not abide that.

Catherine rolls her eyes and relinquishes her grip on his blanket, and Peter stumbles once again.

“What are you wearing?” he asks dumbly.

“A tunic.” She sniffs. “It is objectively unjust how men have far more liberating choice in clothes.”

The candles that usually lit his brain had all gone out at the same time.

“I petition for you to decree corsets unnecessary for the coming spring and summer.” She leans in conspiratorially. “It would be most progressive.”

“Indeed,” he repeats, not understanding one bit. “Shall we - shall we get to writing?”

“In the morning,” Catherine says, satisfied. “For now let’s sleep so spring comes faster.”

Peter nods. Their thighs press together. He smells her hair. They fall asleep.

&

On the first day of spring he finds Catherine waiting for him at breakfast, standing in the first rays of sun, haloing her hazy silhouette her hazy silhouette revealing the natural shape of her body. She turns and grins at him.

When he reaches for her cheek, she lets him.

leave me prompts from here  + i’ll write something for you!

[ruddcatha]

GUARDIAN

Thank you again to @heavenin--hell for your inspiration, I hope this story does your work justice.

posted on Ao3: Here

Posted on FFN: Here

If you would like to be added to the tags please let me know!

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Chapter 9

Kagome groaned as the shrill sound of her phone forced her into consciousness.  It felt like she had only just fallen asleep.  It had taken her most of the night to clean the shards from the floor and dresser. She had no clue what had happened, but between her dreams and the mirror shattering, she had been too freaked out to fall back asleep, despite her exhaustion.

Thankfully, she had not had any further dreams after she had finally fallen into a broken slumber.  A slight shudder raked through her body at the memory.  She had been standing at the shrine with three vases on the alter in front of her. The first vase was familiar, she had seen and unfortunately broken it two days before, but here it was, intact. She reached out to touch it, and she saw Kanji characters flare red before fading like ash as the vase broke. As she watched smoke began to billow out of the cracks of the vase, coalescing above the alter, the faint shape of a dragon visible in the haze.  A voice whispered to Kagome, she could not make out the words, but the voice compelled her towards the second vase, a light gray vessel with white and black flowers for decoration, beautiful in its simplicity.  The whisper grew louder as she approached, and she was entranced by the vase.

“Kagome.”

She froze as Inuyasha’s voice purred her name in the dream, her hand centimeters from the second vase. At his voice she felt her head clear, the vase she had just found so beautiful and compelling now terrified her. There was danger inside the beauty, a darkness that she knew would try to destroy her.  She took a deep breath and felt energy course through her body. She raised her hand to see a light glow had enveloped her.  The whisper in the mist turned angry, and as she raised her head the dragon in the mist turning its head to watch her, its eyes glowing crimson though the smoke as the whisper turned into a howl of frustration.

She had been pulled out of the dream by the mirror cracking and shattering, her arms cut by flying pieces of glass.

Needless to say, she had not gotten a lot of rest.

Grumbling she picked up the phone and answered with a sleep “Hello?”

“Ah Kagome, good morning. I hope you do not mind but Totosai gave me your number and asked me to call you, we need to leave in a half hour.”

Kagome pulled her phone away from her ear in confusion “Who… who is this?”

She heard laughter. “Apologies Lady Kagome, this is Miroku.”

She groaned; it was too early to deal with him.  “What do you want Miroku?”

“The council meeting. We leave in a half hour and we need you to be there with us.”

Kagome groaned. “Totosai said I had the morning off, why does he need me there?”

“It... actually wasn’t Totosai who said you need to be there.”

That cut through Kagome’s sleep induced stupor.  

“Wait what?”

“It wasn’t Totosai. The Inu No Taisho said your presence was necessary.”

“But... why?”

She heard Miroku chuckle. “Something about being the one with the ability to awaken them and a broken seal.”

Kagome sat up straight, now wide awake, snippets of her dream and the broken vase flashing through her thoughts.

“How long do I have?”

“Thirty Minutes. See you then.”

Kagome scrambled out of bed and dashed for the shower.

------

Exactly thirty minutes later Kagome stood in the doorway to Totosai’s office, slightly panting from her sprint across campus.  Miroku stood inside waiting for her, a half smile on his face as he let her catch her breath.

“If you will follow me, they have already begun downstairs.”

Kagome visibly started. “Just how big is this building?”

Miroku chuckled. “It’s like the Tardis.  It’s bigger on the inside.”

“Nerd.” Kagome whispered as she passed him.

“My dear Kagome, you went on a two year walk about to learn more about different cultures and religions before deciding to study the past through the relics of the dead…”

Kagome glared at Miroku as they made their way towards a hidden elevator.  “And how exactly do you know about that?”

Miroku tilted his head as he studied her before entering the elevator and turning back to her.  “I help Totosai screen all the students.  He can read energy from objects; I can read energy from people.”

_______________

If you were to look at their campus, one would never have expected there to be what Kagome could only describe as an ancient arena under the buildings.  She stared in awe at the room in front of her, she and Miroku had entered the main presentation level where she could see Totosai, Inuyasha, Toga, and Sesshomaru standing.  The floor was surrounded by tiers of elegant seats, the room could easily hold 1000 if it were at full capacity.  Her gaze was drawn to the other end of the room to the seven… people… sitting in the seats watching the four in front of them.  Toga’s deep voice teased the edge of her hearing, but she could not make out the words.  Miroku took her by the elbow and moved with her to join the group.

As they moved forward, she could hear that Toga was discussing what had led to the sealing, Miroku whispering the translation for her, however her attention was caught by the group in the seating area.  

A man with black hair, deep tan skin and bright blue eyes sat in the middle, his posture and tone showed his familiarity with the Inu’s before him.  His hair was pulled away from his face, and as he turned to listen to a companion, she saw his ears were slightly pointed, like Toga and Sesshomaru’s. Miroku noticed that Kagome was not listening to him and followed the direction of her gaze.

“The yokai in the center is Koga.” Miroku leaned down to whisper to Kagome as they walked. “He is the prince of the Ookami, and Lord of the Northern Lands.  He has been a member of the council since its formation and was an ally of Lord Toga before the seals were placed.”

Miroku nodded his head slightly towards a man sitting to Koga’s right, his bright red hair tumbling in curls tied with a green ribbon that matched his eyes.

“That is Shippo, he represents the Kitsunes.  He was a child when the council was formed but inherited the seat when his father was unfortunately killed by the Thunder Brothers, allies of Ryukotsusei.  They tortured him for information on where the guardians were sealed and killed him in a fit of rage when he refused to answer.”

“Now I see why Inuyasha said they limited who had the information.” Kagome whispered back. Miroku nodded slightly in response. Kagome’s eyes went to the woman sitting to Koga’s left, her deeply tanned skin a stark contrast to her silver hair and lavender eyes.

“Lady Shiori, the representative of the bats.  They were one of the last Yokai to join the council, there was an internal fight over which faction they would join, until Ryukotsusei targeted them to obtain the secret to their barrier magic.  Shiori is the only member of the council that is a Hanyou like Inuyasha.” Kagome’s eyes darted to Miroku at that.

“She inherited the power of her father, Tsukuyomaru, to create barriers.  It is a unique ability among the bats, and highly revered.  Even as a hanyou she is one of the strongest members of the bats and was selected as their Lady.”

“And what of the woman sitting next to… Shippo was it?” Kagome asked.

Miroku looked at the woman, taking in her long dark hair pulled into a high ponytail and her crimson eyes.  The ends of her hair seemed to be constantly moving as if a soft wind had caught the strands.

“Kagura, a wind demon. She sits as the Lady of the Elemental Yokai that have sided with Lord Koga.  Our research does not have much information on her, other than a note to be warry, she is beautiful and lethal.”

Miroku went on to identify the remaining two women on the dais, Toran of the Panther Demons who looked human with pale green hair, and Tekki, the Queen of the Demon Birds with her gorgeous feathers and wings.  He paused looking at the last member.    

“Hachiemon, I am surprised he was chosen as the Tanuki representative.”  Hachiemon looked like… well he looked like a racoon, which surprised Kagome.  She had never encountered any stories of the Tanuki in her travels or research, and so he was a puzzle to her.

“Hachi is a friend of the family, he and I grew up together.  He is very eager but not always… the bravest, which is why I am surprised he is the representative.”

By the time Miroku finished the introductions, they were a few feet away from the four standing before the Lords.  

“…the dragon cannot be allowed to awaken until we are ready.” Kagome’s attention was drawn back to the conversation as she made out parts of the words.  She glanced sideways to Miroku, who immediately fell back into translating for her.

“Lord Toga, I remember when the pact was first made, and the blood of the Lords was used to seal Ryukotsusei. How do we know for sure that the appointed time is upon us, perhaps you were awoken early, and the battles are not yet at hand?”

“The first seal has been broken.” Toga’s words caused several of the Lords to gasp.  “Ryukotsusei does not have any of his abilities, nor is he able to possess any human or yokai, but he is still dangerous.  We must begin preparations immediately. We do not know what, if anything, Ryukotsusei has been able to accomplish or even how long he has been unsealed.”

“We must still have time.” Shiori interjected, her eyes reflecting her unease.  “You said only the first seal was broken.” Her movements stilled as her ears detected a subtle change in the room.  Shiori was able to hear the thirteen heartbeats in the room, and the rhythm of one had just… changed.  She closed her eyes to focus on isolating the sounds until she identified the change, lavender eyes opening to stare at Kagome.

“Lord Toga.” Shiori tilted her head as she considered Kagome. “may I ask who this woman is that has you?”

Toga turned and looked back to Kagome, his eyes softening as he took in her nerves before giving her a slight nod.  Kagome took a deep breath and clenched her hands into fists before looking up at the seven powerful beings before her.

“Kagome.  My name is Kagome.”

Koga’s eyes sparkled with appreciation at the bravery of the human.  “And how are you connected Lady Kagome?  I know you are not a member of the alliance.”

“She is the one who released my seal.” Inuyasha stated, a slight growl in his voice as he watched the wolf’s gaze.

“What is it you are hiding from this council Kagome?” Shiori asked softly, and all eyes flew to her then back to Kagome.  “I could hear a change in your heartbeat just now.”

Kagome looked to Miroku, her eyes silently questioning whether she heard the translation correctly. With a shaking voice, Kagome told the council about the vase she had accidentally broken two days before, the gold pulse in the room where Inuyasha, Toga and Sesshomaru had been sealed, the mist with the crimson eyes, finishing with her dream and the shattered mirror.  

As she spoke, Miroku translated for the benefit of the three Inu yokai. Toga’s face lost all hints of softness as he listened, and his eyes went hard as he turned back to the council members, watching them as the translation continued.  Inuyasha’s eyes never left Kagome’s, his lip curling with anger as he listened.  She gave a slight jump as he suddenly appeared beside her; she had not even seen him move.  

Inuyasha’s hand reached out to cup her elbow, drawing her arm up.  She had purposefully worn a long sleeve shirt to hide the cuts on her arms, but Inuyasha’s thumb unerringly traced along each cut gently, a questioning look in his eyes as he growled slightly.

“What’s this about?” Miroku whispered.

Kagome sighed. “When the mirror shattered a few of the pieces cut my arm.  I don’t know how he knew where I had been injured.”

Miroku smiled.  “Dog demons have superior senses of smell Kagome.”

“But why would he care?”

“That… I do not know Lady Kagome, but it is obvious he does.”

Toga’s voice cut through the room as he made a point to look at all seven members of the council.

“Time is of the essence. Ryukotsusei is aware of Kagome and knows that she can break the seals.   She is under our protection now, but we must secure the remaining seals and begin our preparations.  If we have humans and yokai working with us, we must begin training and ensure that all are prepared for what is to come.  Prince Koga, you remember the dangers and difficulties we faced against Ryukotsusei before.  You know what additional risks we will face and the impact of the current era.”

Toga’s eyes began to glow as he drew upon the full power of his yokai, once again donning the mantle of the Inu No Taisho, the Great Dog General.

“The appointed time is here, and Ryukotsusei has begun to awaken. I call upon the terms of the pact, sealed by the eight Yokai Lords, it is time to fulfill the blood vows.”  

Koga looked to the six Yokai leaders seated with him as each nodded slightly in turn.  

The left forearm of each of the yokai and hanyou’s in the room began to shimmer, silver blending with gold, blue, lavender, seafoam, green, burgundy, purple and yellow above their arms before the colors faded into the skin, leaving behind a shimmering mark.

Toga’s voice reverberated through the room.

“The pact is bound.”

[wellesleyunderground]

Pandemic Pregnancy by Jess Sirizzotti ‘10 (@JezRebelle)

Having your first kid during a global pandemic makes for a very weird experience. Though the much anticipated “quarantine baby boom” turned out not to be the reality, there were still many pregnancies that started, continued, or wrapped up in 2020-2021.

Being pregnant during a pandemic is about as isolating as you’d expect. Reduced immunity plus *gestures vaguely* everything meant that a lot of people grew a person in unprecedented ways. What I struggled with the most (beyond the overarching panic and dread of a world on fire) was that there was no benchmarking. I could have made it nine months at work before telling anyone, because they only saw me on video conference from the clavicle up. There were no hospital tours, no childbirth classes, no expectant parenting groups. 

Whenever you’re going through it, there seems to be no middle ground between dry, evidence-based medicine and projecting yourself entirely into the astral plane for communing with the ancestors. Here are a few things that helped me through my pregnancy, and some things I wish I’d known earlier.

Illustration Credit: Mercedes deBellard

Prep work

There are plenty of guides about how much you should have saved or what kind of physical shape you should be in. Some of that is helpful.

Oddly missing from those guides is “get a handle on your traumas.” Talk to a therapist. Talk to a partner. Talk to yourself in a diary where you ask yourself questions about what you want to carry with you and what terrifies you about having a kid. There are questionnaires for people donating living organs, and it does not hurt to say, “Hey, if there is a problem with ANY OF THE MYRIAD OF THINGS THAT CAN GO WRONG, how would I work through those feelings? What are the boundaries I want for this process that will make me feel safer or in control?””

If you’re getting pregnant with someone who will raise this kid with you, get into it with them. Have very specific conversations about what you will do about parental leave, diapers, daycare, requests for tattoos from a twelve-year-old. My husband and I would read the Care & Feeding parenting column from Slate, debating how we would handle the conundrums of different letters before getting the “answer” from the columnist.

Also, get as full a picture of family pregnancy as you can. You might know your own birth story, but what about the other half of the genetics you’ll be juggling? I, personally, managed to mash up my MIL’s hyperemesis gravidarum and my mom’s gestational diabetes which has been...not a great time.

And ask *lots* of questions. I had pretty low-stakes issues making it into the world, but it turns out all my dad’s generation of siblings all needed to stay in the NICU. My dad had multiple full-body blood transfusions in his first days. That would have been helpful to know!

That said, what I was most shocked to learn is that there is no way to know what kind of pregnancy you’re going to have until you’re in it. Even if you’ve had a kid before—you can have wildly different experiences! There’s literally no way to know in advance!

Pro tip: you can’t know for certain what pregnancy will be like for you, but getting a broad picture can help it seem less like a cliff jump into the unknown.

Getting pregnant will take longer than you think

Once again, for those in the back, GETTING PREGNANT WILL TAKE LONGER THAN YOU THINK. 

For starters, you will need to stop not getting pregnant, which has been the focus of most young adult lives since your fertility started. I had to get my IUD removed and also get revaccinated for a bunch of things (rubella, flu, tetanus). If you were on the pill, it may take a few months to get everything out of your system. Then, you will do something to try to get pregnant and wait for two weeks. Whether it takes two weeks, two months, or ten years—it will feel like a very long time.

Especially because by this point, I felt ready to have a child. I looked at the calendar and thought, “Oh good, the kid will be X horoscope sign. They’ll have their birthday during the school year. Their birthday will be X year, and that will be easy to remember.” I made plans.

And then I just...didn’t get pregnant. And kept not getting pregnant. Every month of getting my period was so frustrating. I had charted my cycle! I had taken my temperature to figure out if I was ovulating! I swallowed these giant prenatal vitamins that are the size of a human toe!

Some people do get pregnant instantly, and many blessings on their ultra-efficient plumbing. Some people get pregnant when they don’t want to, and they should be able to have a choice about whether to have those kids. 

For most people, there will be a while between deciding to have a child through pregnancy and getting one started. It is happening everywhere, to countless people, and is one of the hardest, loneliest, most unintelligible experiences—made worse by the fact that people are shoving their feet into their own faces around you for the entire experience. You’re surrounded by people getting pregnant (magically! easily! with barely a whisper of effort!), people asking you when you will become pregnant, people congratulating you on not being pregnant because you can go out, drink, get really into aerial silks, etc. And you will have to not punch them in the face.

If you are under 35, most doctors will not even talk to you about fertility issues until you have tried for a year. That’s a minimum of twelve cycles of trying, twelve “I feel really good about this month” conversations, twelve pregnancy tests that say you’re not pregnant, twelve months at a job you may not like but stay at because they have good parental leave benefits or insurance coverage.

After a year (and after you get on their schedule) a fertility specialist can offer you fun adventures like getting dye injected into your fallopian tubes to see if they’re blocked, approval to shoot yourself up with expensive hormones (at home! with a real needle!), and any of the other amazing methods technology and medicine have discovered that tweak any of the multitude of handoffs that need to happen for a pregnancy to “take.”

If I can ask one thing, assume at least one person in earshot of your public conversation is trying to get pregnant and can’t—and be a little kinder.

Pro tip: get the cheaper pregnancy tests with lines rather than the electronic ones with words, because there are few bigger downers than seeing “NOT PREGNANT” month after month.

Find a practitioner you like

Because eventually, you will want to strangle them. It’s important to start with someone you like, so that the strangling phase will be late in the pregnancy and not a sustained hatred for nine full months.

Whether you’re pregnant or working with a reproductive specialist, having someone who listens to you will help. Some people cannot deal with hippie woo woo, some cannot imagine a pregnancy that’s all medical jargon. If you’re a person of color or want to have certain cultural traditions respected from the get-go, vetting at the beginning can avoid being at loggerheads later. Take some time to reflect on good and bad medical experiences you’ve had, and if you have options, choose someone who will not make you hyperventilate every time you have an appointment.

For me, I knew I needed a doctor who would not give me a hard time about weight gain. I have a history of disordered eating and (pre-pregnancy) was competing as a super heavyweight lifter, so am used to plenty of unsolicited opinions about my weight and what I should be doing with it. Pregnancy is fraught enough to take a single off-hand comment to an extreme, and I was deeply uninterested in negotiating an anorexia relapse while battling all the pregnancy changes.

If you have some time, shuffle up your pre-pregnancy appointments to get a feel for different doctors. I pulled up ZocDoc for my insurance network and came up with some finalists: had my annual exam by one, my IUD taken out by another, and my MMR re-vaccine done by a third. I knew my practice was right for me when the doctor offered to take all weight measurements patient-blind for the entire pregnancy.

Pro tip: think about what style of doctoring would make you feel better during this time, and give yourself the gift of one less thing to stress about.

Taking information in

Like the best of us, I enjoy a Wikipedia rabbit hole. I’m an especially good finder and am frequently tagged in as the friend who can unearth the secret Tumblr or yearbook photo of an elusive crush. I can find anything, and have a Jeopardy-level mental trapper keeper for bizarre edge-cases.

This is...not great for pregnancy, especially when unleashed on the “seems legit” constellation of mommy blogs. There are a million things that can go wrong with a pregnancy, and past a certain point, knowing more does not make you more likely to avoid or survive them.

Think of it like a fractal. Having the general shape of the tree: useful. Hyperfocusing so hard on one of the branches that you lose days in front of the computer screen, diving deeper into medical texts and unconfirmed narratives until you completely glaze over: less so.

Knowing this about myself helped me manage the unceasing amount of feedback offered by everyone from doctors to bystanders. I limited myself to one book (Emily Oster’s Expecting Better, which is wonderful), a doctor I trusted, and small doses of the Wellesley pregnancy group. I still couldn’t stop myself from reading every op-ed about miscarriage and stillbirth, but I was able to process them as things I was choosing to read instead of a compulsion I could not turn off.

Pro tip: really think about how much information serves you. It can feel like knowing every little thing will make you an expert who is ironclad against any malady. That’s, unfortunately, not how it works.

Sending information out

Like information gathering, you’ll want to decide how, when, and who to share information with. Having a pandemic pregnancy gave me a lot more power over when I disclosed than I would have had normally—I was sick as hell and it would have been a first-month discussion at work rather than a third-month one. It has allowed others to have entire pregnancies in private, only announcing when the baby has been delivered.

I found it helpful to think of pregnancy updates in concentric rings: my husband and I in the innermost circle, immediate family and some friends next, wider friend group and extended family, and then everyone else. I didn’t have to give minute-by-minute updates to everyone in the world if I didn’t want to, and a quick “Oh actually that’s private” was usually enough to keep any especially nosy questions to a minimum.

There were people who surprised me with wanting to know much more, and some who heard “baby” and unsubscribed. Both are fine!

Pro tip: if at all possible, curate a group of friends who are far from having first kids so that you can be assured of a rapt audience of “WHAT can happen??” Plus, at least one friend with a recent kid who’s very organized who can tell you what’s helpful to buy and what is BS.

Particular pandemic weirdness (good and bad)

While it has been lonely, it has also been wonderfully private. Some particular strange markers:

It is very odd to go from several months of zero physical contact with anyone outside my apartment directly into an intravaginal ultrasound.

My husband is going to meet our doctor at the delivery, because no one except patients is allowed past the lobby at our practice.

I will likely not need to buy any maternity clothes, because my pandemic outfits of blousy shirts and stretchy pants to work from home will suit perfectly.

No one touches my stomach unless I want them to.

Remote birthing classes allow you to snicker as much as you’d like from the comfort of your couch.

Things I did not know and wish I had

The way they count how far along you are starts from the first day of your last period. That is not when you got pregnant, but is the easiest way to have a consistent range for all patients (who may or may not be tracking ovulation spikes).

It is normal to have spotting-level breakthrough bleeding at some point during your pregnancy. The books will tell you this. Your doctor will tell you this. I am telling you this now. It will not make a damn bit of difference, because the moment you see blood, you will panic and be certain you are having a miscarriage. No one will be able to convince you otherwise until you get checked out.

Your entire digestive system slows waaaay down to accommodate a pregnancy, and is part of the reason for nausea. I had heard that you will need to pee all the time, but hadn’t heard that you will almost entirely stop pooping. And then once a week, you will crap yourself inside out.

The placenta can grow wherever it wants, including smack-dab over your cervix. This offends me more than I can say. That’s where the baby needs to go out! (C-section is required in these cases)

A cesarean birth is a horizontal cut, like an envelope opening and then they squeeze the baby through it. I always pictured it vertical, like opening a book.

Acronyms are a minefield on pregnancy forums. For months, I read posts thinking “FTM” meant “female-to-male trans person” instead of “first-time mom.” Don’t be afraid to Google to keep your bearings, but also feel free to create your own—DH can be “Dear” or “Damn” Husband depending on context.

“Morning sickness” is a misnomer. It can happen all day. It can happen for your whole pregnancy, though most women see a gradual decrease after the first trimester. I’m mid-way through my third trimester, and still throwing up six times a day. If I had known that earlier, I would not have tried to “stick it out” for as long as I did: cooking meals from scratch, insisting that pre-packaged snacks were for wimps. If you are sick, get comfortable EARLY. You don’t get extra points or a better baby for staying miserable, so you might as well lean in to Couch and Cheese Central. If it clears up, great. If not, at least you’re not already tired from trying too hard.

Around 4% of babies are born on their due dates. Do not assume your third trimester will be the length you would like it to be. My doctor has proposed a 37 week induction (because of all the sickness and gestational diabetes). While that is technically full-term, that news was given to me in such a way that low-balled the panic of being A FULL MONTH EARLY. As in, LOSING A THIRD OF THE TRIMESTER.

The baby is lower than you may expect—actual location is generally half-way between navel and nethers. If you’re patting the top of a pregnant person’s stomach (with their permission), you are far away from where the kid is.

There is no good news during a pregnancy. The best you can hope for is continuing to meet the baseline. I am so much more understanding of gender reveal parties, because it is literally the only test result that you can have an opinion about. No ultrasound or blood test will come back with, “Congratulations, your child is gifted!” or “They’re going to be so good at tennis!” It is nine straight months of finding out you’re high risk or not for sickle-cell anemia or tuberculosis. I stopped writing them down after awhile because it felt like every one was, “Oh damn, I didn’t even know we were still concerned about that.”

“Round ligament pain” is the technical term for sharp, stabbing pain in your groin caused by all the ligaments in your hips and crotch helpfully loosening to allow for gestation and birth. This can start as early as 14 weeks, which one would think is way too fricking early for it, but nope. You’d be wrong. The general recommendation for this is to keep your knees together, to which I say, “That particular ship has left the harbor.”

[justasparkwritings]

Codename Cupid: Chapter 19

Previous: Harboring Hoseok 

Pairing: Jeon Jungkook x OFC

Genre: Secret AgentAU, Government AgentAU

Rating: PG15

Word Count: 1.5K

Warnings: Swearing

Summary: Codename Miss Cuttlefish plays double agent OR OT7 begins revealing their next plan. 

Codename: Miss Cuttlefish, If Ya Nasty

Present Day

           Sitting around the conference table at OT7 headquarters, the six agents listen and watch as Codename Miss Cuttlefish née Genevieve Yang, does her own song and dance. Daughter of operative Cuttlefish, she is trained in field work, and was pulled as a CI over three years ago when Codename Arrow joined the scope of the investigation. Hating to disappoint her mother, she reluctantly joined the mission and just prayed Codename Bow and Codename Arrow never said anything worthy of reporting.

           ���She’s not an idiot, she has to know this is connected,” Yoongi remarks, eyes staring at Miss Cuttlefish as she engages with Codename Black Panther.

           “She hasn’t made the connection yet,” Namjoon answers.

           “Black Panther is starting to see a pattern, that’s the first step,” Hoseok adds.

           “I can’t believe you think we can keep this up,” Tiredly, Yoongi sighs.

           “Who said I thought we could keep this up? We cannot, in any realm, keep this going any longer. That’s part of the plan,” Namjoon responds.

           “How many steps are there to this plan?” Yoongi asks, he’s beyond burned out, drinking coffee by the liter, eating whatever fast food he could grab on his way home, knowing full well his roommates were riding the same bus. This is how Namjoon works, he reminds himself, to plan and over plan every step of a mission, only keying them in when necessary. This mission, it’s length, it’s breadth, had begun to wear them thin. You don’t spend half a decade on a project, and not count the months, weeks and days until you turn in your final paperwork. Yoongi, and the rest of OT7 could see the light at the end of the tunnel, the problem for Yoongi, was whether that light was hope, or the train itself.

           “It’s not like we’re withdrawing from Iran,” Seokjin states. “We just need to position her correctly in order for the rest of this to fall into place.”

           “Do you want me to actually give her the intel?” Miss Cuttlefish asks, muting the call while Black Panther speaks.

           “Tell her you’ll ask,” Namjoon directs.

           “Then what?”

           “Lie,” Yoongi shrugs.

           “She’s moving to search through his followers,” Seokjin says, changing the screen to a live shot of Black Panther’s computer screen. In his years with OT7, he’d picked up a few new skills, including coding. Though he preferred the monotony of financial records, tracing bank accounts and calling foreign ops, there was something a little thrilling about cloning a computer and observing the movements of its owner.

           “Everything’s in place?”

           “Yes,” Hoseok answers.

           “You made the right call,” Jimin tells Namjoon, his voice low as he looks at his leader.

           “Did I?” Namjoon asks softly, his uncertainty written in the dark bags decorating his under eye.

           “You’re exhausted, you can’t see the forest through the trees,” Jimin offers. “But you did, Taehyung and I know it wasn’t an easy decision to make.”

           “He already resents me.”

           “Why are you talking about Maknae?” Taehyung asks.

           Glancing over at him, Jimin answers, “RM’s worried about him,”

           “He’s at headquarters for the week?” Hoseok inquires.

           “Yes, some training,” Namjoon responds.

           “Hasn’t he perfected everything?” Yoongi snaps.

           “Sug-

           Miss Cuttlefish hangs up the phone abruptly and stares at the six men. “Did I get what you wanted?”

           “You did,” Namjoon snaps his attention away from his hyung, “we’ll monitor Black Panther over the next few days, thank you Miss Cuttlefish.”

           Genevieve stands, Taehyung following suit. “I’ll walk you out.”

           “You sure that’s all?” Jimin snickers. Taehyung’s cheeks flush, Miss Cuttlefish pinches them lightly before pressing her lips gently against the warm skin.

           “Do you want me to post more photos?” She asks Namjoon, eyes still on Taehyung’s.

           “Black Panther requested J-Hope, correct?”

           “Yes,” Jimin refreshes Hoseok’s page and stares at the pending follow.

           “What do we do?” Hoseok asks.  

           “We accept,” Yoongi answers.

           “Then what?”

           “We wait,” The finality of his words is met with his actions, and Namjoon doesn’t want any misinterpretation of his movements. He stands from the conference table before retreating into his office and closing the door. Dimming the lights and turning on low music, he tends to his Bonsais and other greenery, giving them a little attention before he extends on his couch. Namjoon wasn’t sure he was making the right decision; wasn’t sure he would be able to salvage whatever would be left after Codename Black Panther came to a head, or if he’d judged accurately. That’s the job of the boss though, isn’t it? He had to make the impossible decisions, the calls that no one else wanted to or could, the ones that decided the fate of a mission.

           Some decisions were easy, Taehyung ending his relationship and mission with Cupid had been a no brainer, a decision he knew the minute Tae scheduled the meeting. Using Hoseok in this pedestrian mission was a child’s play, Hobi had the charisma and added bonus of never being seen. He easily could’ve taken Jimin’s role, deftly swaying anyone he came in contact with into falling in love with him. He was precious, intelligent, compassionate and brilliant. Hoseok was always sidelined though because he couldn’t lie, couldn’t withhold, couldn’t tell when someone else was pulling the wool over his exuberant irises. In their early years, it made him a terrible mission lead, but in his forgery work, it made his attention to detail flawless. He had to be so careful, so delicate and exacting otherwise anyone would recognize the faux docs.

          Hoseok didn’t have to lie much when he was with Miss Cuttlefish, he could easily weave a tale of working in the fraud department of the FBI, craft old missions into new stories because Codename Bow had never heard them. Playing pretend with another operative was the only time Hoseok felt okay being in the field, he preferred to engage with his group of brothers and his CI’s, collaborating on best practices, creating new protocols for faking passports and White House Stationary.

          Other groups within the larger structure of OT7 often wondered why Hoseok and Jimin couldn’t trade, didn’t they have similar skill sets? The nuance of their performances, often lacking the pizazz older, retired agents recognized as skill, set the two apart. Both cunning and sly, charming and friendly, the two men knew they could never trade places, most importantly, Namjoon knew.  

           The problem arising in this mission, was the sole focus of the project itself. Black Panther presents an element none of them expected, or planned for, or even recognized was part of her personality. Black Panther is deft in her skills, easily adjusting to meet the demand, rising to every occasion and slightly careless in her protections. She’s easy to find, easy to follow, easy to gain access to in every way she boasts not to be. Namjoon couldn’t blame her, everyone was powerless to OT7, after all, that was their goal. No one was out of their reach, no one too far from their grasp regardless of their efforts. He knew it, and soon, she would too.

           The complications Black Panther brings to the table are unchallenged, a mountain none of them have yet climbed. Laying in his office, Namjoon wonders if it’s all worth it. If manipulating her will get them where they need to be, or if she’s better off being a casualty none of them blinks an eye over. He could always send Agust D to clean up the mess, but what would that solve? It’d just create another headache for him to manage and another member of his team to be angry with him. Breeding contempt was not his strong suit, but solving it was near impossible.

           “Joonie?” Hoseok asks, hand gently rapping the door.

           “Hm?” He offers in return.

           Poking his head in, Hoseok’s smile relaxes. “Do you want to come over for dinner tonight?”

           “Depends, what are you making?”

           “Your favorite,” Hoseok chuckles, a welcome sound against the dull lull of the piano.

           “You won’t burn it?”

           “Seokjin’s going to help,”

           “What can go wrong? The two Seok’s battle it out, one too intense, the other too much of a culinary genius,”

           “I hope I’m the genius,” Hoseok says sitting down. “You’re welcome to stay the night too, I know how you get,”

           “I live in the apartment across from you, Hobi,” Namjoon’s eyes remain closed, his body moving on the couch to accommodate Hoseok.

           “I know,”

           “With Yoongi and Taehyung,”

           “I know,” Hoseok repeats.

           “I’m not lonely,”        

           “You can be in a crowded room and still feel isolated,”

           “I’m not isolated with Yoongi, we shared a room for years before moving across the hall,” Fluttering his eyes open, he stares at Hoseok’s worried expression.

           “Namjoon,” Hoseok’s eyes give way to the concern beating in his heart. “You’re stressed about something, you don’t have to tell me what, just walk the five paces from your place to ours and spend some time with us. We can watch whatever movie you want.”

           “You’re too good to me,” Namjoon offers a soft smile.

           “That’s because we’re family, Joonie,” Hoseok gives his hand a squeeze before walking towards the door. “Oh, and if you have Sprite, bring it.”

           “You have millions of dollars, buy more,” Namjoon laughs, eyes closing as he settles into the warmth of Hoseok’s generosity. “Will you wake me in twenty, please?”

           “Of course, Joon,” Hoseok gently shuts the door, leaving Namjoon to rest in the silence.

Next: Codename Black Panther

[dear-selena]

All I See (Peter Parker x Soulmate! Reader): Chapter 5

Peter Parker x Reader Soulmate!AU

Chapter 1 | Chapter 2 | Chapter 3 | Chapter 4 | Chapter 5 | Epilogue

Summary: You live in a world where women start to gain color when they meet their soulmate, but they cannot see all the colors at once until they’ve united with them. Peter Parker is your soulmate, but he has no idea. You want to tell him about the colors you see, but are afraid to. Sometimes, girls can be malicious with the soulmate troupe, and you don’t want Peter to think you’re doing the same. So you keep quiet, and experience one color at a time. 

It isn’t until Liz Allan comes in the picture that all you see is green, and you hate it. 

Warnings: Angst, one or two small swear words

A/N: Wow, you guys are incredible! Thank you all for the support you’ve given me so far! I haven’t written in so long, and posting my fan fiction on here was a little nerve wrecking. But I’m so glad I got to share this story with you all! 

This chapter is a lot longer than the previous ones, and I plan on uploading an epilogue to wrap things up, but this chapter should ultimately answer all your questions that I left you hanging on. If there’s something you still want to ask, please hit me up! Otherwise, enjoy the 2nd to final installment of my first Peter Parker fanfiction!

Chapter Five: Intense Colors 

Words: 3217

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You didn’t leave your house for two days. 

After running away from Peter, you found yourself sobbing into a bathroom sink. With puffy eyes and tear stains stuck on your cheeks, you slowly accepted the blue color you were experiencing. You’ve never seen blue before, as Peter’s never made you sad before. But considering how your confession went and how angry he became, you think you’ll be seeing blue for a long time. 

You ultimately decide to skip the rest of the school day, and sneak off campus to go home early. Normally, you would never rebel like this, but you felt this situation would be an exception. Running off campus, you start the long 30 minute walk home, trying to hold in your tears out in public. However, once you get home, you make a beeline to your room. Despite your house being empty with your parents at work and your siblings not ditching school, you want to shut the world out, especially when they get home. 

You broke into loud sobs as you flung yourself onto your bed, well aware of how obnoxiously dramatic you were acting. All the frustration and emotion you bottled in for so long suddenly flowed out of you, ready to drown anyone close to you. 

Letting out your emotions was important in order to calm down, so you continue to cry into your pillow until you felt you couldn’t cry anymore. After what felt like an eternity (when it reality, it was ten minutes), you found yourself dozing off, tired from everything you’ve experienced today. Within minutes, you were fast asleep. 

A few hours later, you woke up with a startle to your phone furiously vibrating. Your eyes flutter open as you tried to get a bearing of your surroundings, groggy from your nap. You grab your phone to see Peter’s unflattering profile picture light up your screen. 

He was calling you. 

As much as you wanted to answer the phone and hear his voice, as much as you wanted to talk to him and sort things out, you were still utterly overwhelmed over what happened. You didn’t feel you were ready to face him again. 

You didn’t feel you were ready to talk to someone who doesn’t want you. 

You immediately decline the call and quickly turn off your phone, throwing it back on your nightstand and turning over in your bed. You try going back to sleep, but after twenty minutes of frustratingly tossing and turning, you realize your body wasn’t cooperating with you. Sighing with frustration, you get out of bed, and start doing the homework you knew you had. 

For the next two days, you found yourself completely unmotivated to do anything productive. You would wake up for school, but found yourself panicking and your blue vision becoming more intense. It didn’t help that when you turned your phone back on, you found a dozen messages from your friends. 

From: Ned

Hey (Y/N) I heard about what happened… are you okay? 

From: MJ

I’m glad you were able to talk to him, but you’re kind of being ridiculous right now. 

From: Ned 

I’m really worried about you (Y/N)... please call me back when you get the chance. 

From: Peter 

(Y/N) Where’d you go?

From: Peter

Please talk to me. Are you okay?

From: Peter 

Please call me when you’re ready (Y/N). I’m really concerned about you. 

Yeah right Peter… 

Your parents ended up finding you in your distressed state before school was supposed to start, constantly rereading Peter’s messages yet refusing to answer. Embarrassed at how your parents found you, you try to play it off as nothing was wrong and you were just sick. However, your parents could see right through you. Hesitantly, you explained what happened with Peter, your colors, and Liz. They immediately understood. 

“Sweetie it’s okay,” Your parents cooed as they helped calm you from your panic. “Soulmates are destined to work out…” 

Peter said the exact same thing to you. But it just didn’t feel true anymore. 

They wholeheartedly understood your decision to stay home from school that day. Although they started to grow more concerned when you avoided school the next day as well. By the time Thursday rolled around, your parents forced you out of the house. They didn’t want you shutting the world out anymore. They wanted you to face your issues head on. 

As much as you wanted to argue with them, they did have a point. 

You make it to school that Thursday morning, extremely aware of everyone’s eyes on you. Everyone looks so different now they were blue, and it was still unsettling to see this color. But you need to get used to this color. After all, you knew you’d be seeing it for a long time. 

Things went well during the first half of the school. Teachers caught you up with your lessons and you simply focus on note-taking and getting to your classes on time. You didn’t see any of your friends yet, and for the classes you had with Peter, you manage to get to class very last minute so you could avoid him at all costs. Eventually, lunch rolls around and you start walking to the cafeteria. While thinking about what slop you wanted to eat for lunch, you look up to see Peter talking to Liz. For a moment, your vision turns into a very familiar shade of green, but slowly fades back into the blue you’ve seen for days. You knew you should have expected to see them together, but it still made you a little sad to see your soulmate with someone else. 

Who are you kidding, you were absolutely heartbroken. 

Peter turns his head and his gaze locked on you. Your eyes go wide and you feel your body go completely numb, your vision changing colors instantly. You saw pink, yellow, and blue fight for dominance as Peter’s eyes widen, putting his full attention on you. All you wanted was to run into his arms, hold him close, and apologize to him over and over again, hoping he would forgive you. However, blue won the battle, and engulfs your vision once again, reminding you of the emotions you were still fighting to hide. 

Before Peter could react, you found yourself running away from the cafeteria. You keep running until you suddenly found yourself in front of the school library. Without hesitation, you walk into the library, and spent your lunch period there. 

----------------------

For the following two weeks, you commit yourself to an unhealthy cycle. You’d arrive at school at the last minute just to avoid running into Peter before class. For every class you had with Peter and Ned, you’d get to class last minute and sit close to the door, so that when class was over, you could run out and dodge them. You weren’t sure if they actually paid attention to you, but from the uncomfortable tingling you felt on the back of your neck during class, you knew they noticed you. 

During lunch you’d go to the library instead of the cafeteria, diving back into reading as a way to distract yourself. Getting through a majority of the reading your english teacher recommended, you found that you thoroughly enjoying these books. Reading was something you wished you had more time for but unfortunately, school took a lot of your free time away. 

At this point, your unhealthy routine started to feel natural, and you almost forgot why you were acting this way. But the blue that engulfed your vision was a constant reminder of how your soulmate made you feel. You really wanted to make things right, but you honestly didn’t know how. Communication was obviously not your strong suit, and you were tired of making things worse. 

On Wednesday, you were doing your avoidance routine as usual, showing up to class last minute, and leaving right when the bell rang. When lunch rolls around, you grab your lunch from your locker and make your way to the library per usual. However, when you approach the table you usually occupy, you suddenly stop dead in your tracks. Reading a book, right in front of you, in the chair you’ve claimed for the last two weeks, the one and only Peter Parker sat lacking concentration. Your eyes widen as you took a good look at your soulmate that you’ve been avoiding. He was turning the pages of his book, practically skimming the contents. His right leg shook underneath the table and he bit his bottom lip back. His left hand was in his hair, his head resting against it uneasily. If you were reading things correctly, you’d assume he was nervous. 

What does he have to be nervous about?

Before he could see you, you turn around and start walking away. Without looking back, you thought you were in the clear. However, a hand suddenly lands on your left shoulder and you turn around to see Peter staring at you with deep concern. 

“(Y/N),” Peter whispers pleadingly. “Can we go talk somewhere private?” 

You look into his eyes, your vision suddenly turning purple and your hands starting to shake. Trying to avoid his eyes was nearly impossible, as you were mesmerized by his stare. You haven’t actually taken a good look at him since you ran from him two weeks ago, and it was completely overwhelming to have him suddenly in front of you. You knew he was angry at you, that much was clear, but as he held your shoulder with security and pleadingly staring at you, something inside of you melted. 

“...okay,” You hesitantly say, unsure if your voice was audible. 

Peter nods his head and starts to walk out of the library, letting go of your shoulder. In a trance, you follow closely behind him, staring at him in disbelief. Peter walks forward, but looks behind himself to make sure you’re still following him. As much as you want to run, you knew avoiding Peter was only making things worse. As much as you didn’t want to talk to him yet, you knew he was ready to talk to you.

As much as you didn’t want to confront your soulmate, you knew he at least deserves a chance to tell you why he doesn’t want you. 

--------------------

Peter led me to the parking lot outside the school’s entrance. 

Sitting next to him on the curb, you found yourself lost in thought. For the longest time, there was silence between you two. You look down at your shoes, refusing to glance at your soulmate. From the corner of your eye. You could see that Peter was in the exact same position as you. 

Crazy thoughts ran through your mind as your vision turns purple. Did Peter want to explain why he wanted to be with Liz? Did Peter want to talk about the soulmate thing and let you down easy? Did Peter feel bad for you? Either way, you couldn’t help but feel your anxiety going through the roof. 

“What color do you see?”

Your head jerks towards Peter at his sudden question. He still looks down, but lifts his head up slightly to make eye contact with you. As your brain processes that he was actually talking to you, you study his features that you secretly miss. Even though you wish you weren’t here, you’ll admit you  miss seeing Peter and talking to him. You miss talking to him everyday and hanging out with him and Ned. You knew you were putting yourself through a lot of grief avoiding him, but you felt your guard completely break down in front of him. 

“Purple.” You look back down at your shoes. 

“What does that mean?” 

“It means I’m scared…” You felt some tears fall. 

Peter puts his full attention on you. “(Y/N), What are you scared of?” 

Your hesitation was obvious. You muster all the courage you have and look up at him. “I don’t know what’s about to happen.” 

Peter nods his head and looks back down, thoughts obviously running through his own mind. When he’s ready however, he looks back up at you. “I get that. If I’m being honest, I’m not sure what’s about to happen either.” He laughs at himself, but you don’t find anything funny. “How are you doing?”

You look down and shake your head, trying to stop the tears from falling. “Honestly, it’s been hard… accepting everything and all.” 

Peter nods his head. “Same here. I wish you just talked to me earlier you know?” 

More tears fall out, despite your denial. “I know I’m so sorry Peter. I knew about what happened with you and Gwen way before you told me about it and I didn’t want to freak you out. I thought if I told you about it, you’d think I was lying and hate me. I wanted things to happen naturally but I was too late.” You take a deep breath, ready to accept the consequences of your actions. “But it’s more important for me to support you. If you rather be with Liz I totally understand. She’s a gorgeous girl and I don’t know her well, but I think she’ll be good for you. You deserve someone who cares about you, and I hope you find what you’re looking for with her.” 

Peter’s face morphs into a look of utter confusion. “(Y/N), what the hell are you talking about?” 

You quizzically look at him, Your vision going back to blue. “... Don’t you like Liz?” 

Peter immediately smacks his face in frustration. “Oh my god (Y/N), you’ve got to be kidding me!” Your eyes widen suddenly but he looks back up at you. “I mean, yeah, I liked Liz. But she’s not my soulmate.” 

You open your mouth in shock, but before you can comment, he continues to talk. 

“I believe you (Y/N), I believe that you’re my soulmate.” 

You look at him in disbelief as you finally let the tears flow, a warm fuzzy feeling erupting in your chest and your vision turning pink. Bringing your knees close to your chest and hugging your legs, you try to contain your emotions. Peter continues to look at you with concern, patiently waiting for your response. 

“What about you and Liz?”

Peter sighs. “Honestly, there really isn’t anything anymore. I ended up telling her about you and the colors you saw because of me, and she opened up to me about how she met her soulmate back in Seattle. She just doesn’t like the type of person he is, so she’s trying to avoid him at all costs. She asked me if I still wanted to go on a date with her, but I told her I’d rather be with my soulmate.” 

“Then why did you yell at me when I confessed?” 

“Because you waited to tell me!” Peter ran a hand through his hair. “We’ve been best friends for months, but you knew from the moment you met me that you were my soulmate and you didn’t tell me. I didn’t realize you saw different colors depending on what I did or how I made you feel. I’ve always wanted my soulmate to be honest with me from the start, but you didn’t say anything and thinking about that drives me nuts. Not gonna lie, I was angry at you. In fact, I’m still a little angry. I hate that you kept this from me.” 

You shrink into yourself, burying your head into you knees and mumbling an “I’m sorry”. 

“Hey, Hey, Hey,” Peter quietly says as he slides to put his arm around you, rubbing his hand on your arm to try and soothe you. You find yourself leaning into his embrace, ultimately realizing how much you love being in his presence. “Yes, I’m still a little worked up right now. But that doesn’t mean I stopped caring about you.” 

You look up at him, the pink becoming more intense. “I like you (Y/N), I have for a while now. I honestly wondered if you were my soulmate, but I thought you would have told me a while ago, so I was just happy to be your best friend. When you told Ned, MJ, and I at lunch that you had a soulmate, I honestly thought it couldn’t have been me. I mean, how could a guy like me, awkward and nerdy, be destined to someone as wonderful and beautiful as you?” He laughs at himself again, this time in disbelief. 

“Peter! Oh my god no!” You put your hand on his cheek and he looks at you once again. “You’re literally the sweetest person I know. You’re so caring and understanding and I really like how smart you are. You help me when I need someone and I’m so thankful to you. I just want to help you when you needed someone too. Not only that, you’re constantly protecting the city, much to the purple I see when you go out.” Peter and you chuckle at that. “I’m glad that I have a soulmate that’s so wonderful, and not to mention, cute as hell.” 

Peter laughs as he takes your unoccupied hand in his. “You can talk to me when things are good, but avoid me when things are bad?” He laughs as you feel a blush cross your cheeks. 

“Yeah… you know I don’t do well when bad things happen.” 

“Oh trust me (Y/N), I really know that now. Especially after these past two weeks.” Peter stops talking for a moment and the both of you embrace each other after a long awaited reunion. “Honestly, I’m still upset about what happened. I don’t like how you completely avoided me.” 

You look at Peter sadly. “I’m sorry, that’s just what I do. I didn’t know how to approach you. Is there anything I can do?”

Peter shakes his head. “No, I think it’ll take time for me to forgive and forget. But that doesn’t mean I’m going to leave your side now.” You look at him quizzically. “We have so much to catch up on! I want to learn more about my soulmate!” 

You look at him happily, completely in shock of what’s happening. Before you knew it, Peter cups your cheek again and leans in quickly, kissing you for the first time. His lips are soft and sweet, and your body turns to putty as he moves his lips with yours. When he pulls away, he puts his forehead on yours, and you open your eyes to see him smiling at you with the most intense shade of pink you’ve seen thus far. 

You spend the rest of the lunch period in Peter’s embrace, the two of you kissing constantly and just reminiscing in each other. It wasn’t until you hear the bell ring that you two hesitantly got up and went back to school. For the rest of the day however, you couldn’t focus, as you couldn’t stop thinking about how your soulmate came back into your life. You didn’t think you’d ever see pink again. But like your parents and Peter said before, soulmates are destined to work out. 

And you couldn’t wait to grow with him.

----------------

-Tagged List-

@peteerrpaarkerr // @littlemissporter // @the-soulless-spider // @fakindob // @stuckonpeterparker// @godhatestarynn // @itsjustahuman // @saxgirl21// @freestarlight // @clara-licht // @cats-before-us // @horanxholland // @thenerdiverse // @roseryss // @ohbabycal // @superwholock36 // @famouslastlove // @azgucci // @invisiblelakes // @lost-in-translating // @peter-parker-tony-stank-trash// @jillanaholland // @iamanerdnot // @disgustangg// @imcharishope // @dehughgrection // @spider-manholland // @sellulii // @falskaprofeter // @jackiehollanderr // @holland-tingz // @discodeakky// @my-suga-kookies // @quicksilverandspiderlokipokidoki // @tomshufflepuff // @134340-cm // @am-scray-punk // @mercurybarnes // @andreuskystuff // @l-ivingformendes // @fantastic-fans // @orighami // @eridanuswave // @starksthunder // @stylexgirl // @muggleings // @dark-night-sky-99 // @petertingle-96

-Peter Parker Tag List-

@sweetcoffeeblandtea // @house-arya // @jovialpeanut 

-Permanent Tag List-  

@mindset-jupiter // @romance-geek // @imcharishope // @fakindob // @cutiekoa

[piercebaron]

episode 22 and adaptations

Actually, I do want to talk about it! I feel like episode 22 encapsulates my “weird” feelings towards the anime adaptation and how it has cut and reframed certain things. It’s not bad? Just weird. 

Spoilers for the Plunderer anime and for the manga, up to chapter 36. 

prefacing all of this with a general note: if you’ve only seen the anime, please read the manga. You’re valid, I’m so glad you’ve been enjoying the anime, but please read the manga because as horny as Minazuki is (and the man is . . . very, very much so), his art is also amazing and some of his panels deserve a second, third, or even a fourth look. The little details here and there actually crop up later and become important, and it’s just great. Chapters 46 - 53 are some of my favorite in media in a long, long time and I absolutely cannot wait until they’re released in an official capacity so I can fork over my money for them.

(seriously, you guys don’t know how hard I’ve tried to legally purchase volume 13. I want to give my money to this series so bad.)

This will also be a little scattershot and bounce around between other episodes, so apologies in advance. I’m trying to double-check chapters and whatnot as I go but if I get something wrong or miss something, please don’t hesitate to correct me in the replies! I’ve been watching the anime through Funimation’s site -- dubbed up through episode 11 and then subs from then on. 

Adaptations! Adaptations. By their very nature, they are not a 1:1 sort of thing. A lot of times, you’ll hear people say “read the book” when a movie adaptation of said book comes out. This is because by its very nature, a movie adaptation simply can’t capture everything in the book -- nor should it. Little things will slip through the cracks. This doesn’t make the movie adaptation bad, necessarily, just that it loses something. 

By the same token, if someone tried to do a direct 1:1 adaptation of a book where, say, the book is used as a script (which is an extremely bad idea for so many reasons, please have a script oh my goodness), chances are it’s not going to be a very good movie. There are musicals, for example, where when filmmakers try to make them into films, they flop because they’re not “cinematic.” The directors didn’t take into account the shift in mediums or, more likely, they sorely underestimated it. Understandable, since it’s two visual mediums, but still.

This is all leading up to me talking about Plunderer, I swear.

Manga to anime is a tricky, tricky thing. A manga has [X] amount of pages to work with, depending on if it’s a weekly or monthly series (or even some different increment!). The author, then, has to structure their chapters accordingly, moving things along to keep the reader interested while also controlling the ebb and flow of the story. Note how when the chapters end, they’re engineered to keep you wanting to read more!

Anime is similar in that respect, except the crew has 20-22 minutes to fill over the course of 12 to 24 episodes depending on the series order. Plunderer, ftr, had a 2 “cour” order from the get-go. They have to plan out the series as a whole, figuring out certain things like, where will the season end? What are the big beats, when will we hit them? Etc. It’s no coincidence that the “school” arc started right around episode 12, which is the halfway point of the series; note how there was that filler episode with Hina and Lynne cooking, after all. 

When I started watching the anime after reading the manga, I assumed they’d end the season with, roughly, the end of chapter 36. It’s a nice “resolution” to a lot of things that had been building up over the series. Hina and Licht are finally together, Licht has resolved to keep his mask off and face the future, Jail has a new direction, Lynne -> Licht is basically resolved, and Pele’s layers finally get peeled back just a bit. 

I saw some predictions online that they’d leave off at the cliffhanger in chapter 39 and while that’s a good guess, in terms of narrative ebb and flow for an anime, it doesn’t really line up. They’d really have to rush some stuff (Charles!! i love you, charles) to get there and in terms of a product that they want to be able to market in several territories, it makes more sense to give it some feeling of resolution. That said, what’s more likely along that vein is us potentially getting some sort of stinger at the end of episode 24 with one character talking to That Certain Character, and us getting a brief, shadowy shot of said character to make people go “ohhhhh shit, dude.” 

but idk this anime has made some strange choices.

Going into that! I’ve mentioned this here and there and talked about it with a friend, but the choices the anime has made in terms of adaptation is, uh, pretty strange at times. When changes get made, my instinct is to try and think through why they were changed and, ultimately, if it really affects the story in any way. If I went through the entire anime, it would be an extremely dull read; please know, however, that I am forever sad we missed Jail’s computer antics and Pele being the ultimate shit when it comes to Nana’s video, even if I understand why they were cut. 

That said, episode 22 is a perfect example of this, so uh. Let’s dive in, shall we?

The chapters that episode 22 covers are chapters 33 and 34. The events leading up to it are pretty much the same, but episode 22 contains some divergences. Going through them quickly:

We see more of Pele and Hina trying to stop Douan from going after Lynn.

Sonohara doesn’t show up during this confrontation. Hina gets her “the body was too clean” line instead.

Because Sonohara doesn’t show up, it’s Douan who attacks Lynn instead, causing her injuries with rocks. In the manga, Sonohara shows up, is drugged by Douan, and shoots a couple of bullets at Lynn.

Nana is just randomly lurking around?? In the manga, it’s clear she got caught at the same time. I’m really not sure what was up in the anime. Douan just yanks her out from behind a wall.

Douan sits with Nana, Hina, and Pele until morning, telling them he’ll kill them at dawn if Licht doesn’t show up. In the manga, he sits back and lets Sonohara terrorize them with a game of Russian Roulette, and Hina promptly (without words) calls Sonohara’s bluff.

Jail doesn’t show up in this episode at all. Instead, Hina gets his “did you check?” line.

We actually see Nana leave with Pele when he takes Lynn off. It looks like we’re going to actually see Doctor Pele in action, maybe? Hina is later sent off to help them.

Sonohara shows up towards the end, already drugged. Based on Douan’s line, it’s assumed that she was drugged off screen by the Secret Service. In the manga, he forcefully injects her.

The end of the episode sets up episode 23 to be Licht vs. Douan and Sonohara, with the preview showing Jail jumping into the fray.

whew, that’s a lot. 

I actually get why most of these changes were made! Setting up the penultimate episode of the series to be this big battle is a necessary change for an anime. And narratively speaking, this is much cleaner than it was in the manga, where Sonohara shows up briefly at the beginning of chapter 33, is drugged, and then basically exists to be crazy and antagonize people. It’s less balls in the air for the staff to have to juggle and for the audience to follow.

Douan’s character also gets some more depth. It’s funny because I feel like in the anime, he’s much more cruel than he was in the manga originally -- which is a feat, let me tell you. The anime flipped that in this episode, though, by not having Douan force the drugs onto Sonohara. 

The manga frames it as him doing it because he believes he knows what’s best for her, he’s trying to protect her in his own awful way, but it’s also, you know . . . nonconsensual as hell and gross on so many levels. This takes that off his shoulders which is a good change, honestly. 

But we lose some little character moments for the others in terms of streamlining. I think the thing that bums me out the most is Jail’s stuff. In the manga, after the confrontation with Alan, Jail steps in, calls Sonohara out and snaps her out of her drugged stupor without much of a fight (”without conviction, your bullets can’t pierce me”) and then slaps down the iron throne, telling Douan to shut up because Licht is coming. Chapter 34 ends with him just dead-eye staring at Douan like yeah, it’s annoying, but look. You’re the one who calls him a cockroach. Jail saying “did you check?” is a major mic drop moment and it’s basically when, from then on, Jail does not give a single flying fuck about the barons / aces. 

It definitely should be noted that some of these Jail moments will probably pop up in other ways in the next episode. I fully expect the bit about Sonohara’s bullets to come up, at least.

We lose out on Sonohara stuff too, though. She willingly throws herself into the lion’s den, shooting at Douan to distract him for long enough to allow Lynne to get away. It’s Sonohara who points out that Licht’s body was too clean -- something that makes more sense as someone who’s known him for 300+ years, knows what it means to be a baron / ace, and wasn’t immediately dragged off by the Secret Service. Her then terrorizing them while drugged is also a moment because when she forces Nana to play Russian Roulette, Hina immediately grabs the gun and points it at her head, firing all the “shots.” It’s empty, showing that despite the drugs, Sonohara didn’t want to kill them and Hina knew that all too well.

with all that said, I should note here that it’s entirely possible this scene will show up in some form next episode. Sonohara is still drugged and Hina, Nana, and Pele are all together in the bunker that is right nearby. I kind of doubt it given how the episode is framed and because narratively, it makes more sense to focus on the Licht vs. Douan and Sonohara -> Licht and Jail vs. Douan and Sonohara fight than to have Sonohara split off to randomly terrorize them, but. Like I said, this anime has made some strange choices.

Of course, character moments we get instead are Hina and even Pele being metal as hell. As much as I’m flapping my hands about losing the little character moments for Jail and Sonohara, it’s clear that they thought about how to utilize those moments while streamlining things, and they do work for Hina. And honestly, it’s really nice to see more stuff with her and Lynn? They get some cute panels later on in the manga (think chapter 55), but I like ladies and I like some lady solidarity. And Hina getting those little moments is on the same level as her straight up pointing a gun at her head all “you won’t kill me.”

and on a selfish note, I am actually really excited to see Pele tend to Lynn. The anime has been good about fleshing them out more and giving them little moments. My little shipper heart is delighted.

In the end, does it change much? Not really. These are small things, ultimately, just like how we didn’t lose much with the added filler and cut moments during the school arc. It’s all ultimately in the name of adaptation and while it’s weird, it’s not necessarily “bad.” It’s jarring for me as someone familiar with the manga (and having stared at some of these panels for so long, I’ve gotten really familiar with it), but thinking on it critically, yeah, I can see why. 

they better damn well do the “how did you know I could do surgery?” scene in the last episode though or I will be super bummed, okay. 

[forever-more-never-again]

Scales and Scars (Part Six)

Aizawa-Yamada [Y/n] - Given quirks through experimentation, thus their quirks are ‘Artificial’ and not considered ‘true’ quirks

First Quirk: Shadow Manipulation

Uses: Shadow manipulation allows the user to travel almost like teleportation from shadow to shadow by ‘sensing’ the shadows around the user. User is able to control the shadows and form objects. User can change the density of shadows. user also has excellent night vision.

Drawbacks: User experiences flashes of coldness from the presence of shadows, and if holds onto a shadow for too long will begin to develop frost bite.

Second Quirk: Dragon Shift

Uses: User can shift into a dragon, varying in size, and breath fire when in Dragon Form. It is a full shift, and user can not half-shift. Impressive strength in Dragon Form. Excellent vision and sense of smell. Large talons and teeth can break through almost any material.

Drawbacks: User cannot form coherent/rational thoughts while in dragon form and reverts to an animilistic and bloodthirsty mindset.

a/n:Second Quirk Revealed! And Part One of the Battle trail Arc!

Word Count: 2093

Pairings: Eraserhead(AIzawa) X PresentMic(Hizashi), Reader X Class1A (Will have multiple endings for pairings)

Warnings: violence against robots

Prologue / Part One / Part Two / Part Three / Part Four / Part Five

Masterlist

Growing up with two pro heros as parents, you knew a lot of the other heroes in the city. And that worked at UA, but that didn’t mean you weren't surprised by some of the ideas that Nezu thought of. 

“What do you mean All Might will be teaching our heroics class?” Your chopsticks were frozen halfway to your mouth as you gaped at your dad across from the table where you were eating dinner.

His expression never changing, your dad took a bite of his katsudon before replying, “What I just said. Nezu hired the Oaf, I can’t do anything about it besides voice my displeasure about having him work at UA.”

Your Pa smiled at his husband, “I think it will be better than you think Kitten!” You faked gagged at the pet name, “He is the number one hero for a reason!”

Shota glared, “He is loud and obnoxious and has no concept of what it’s like to teach a bunch of teenagers Hizashi.”

You nodded along. You had never met All Might, and didn’t hold the same idolization that a lot of other kids your age did. You just never saw the point. Sure he was the number one hero, but he didn’t do anything more than the other heroes, and honestly underground heroes did more than he did.

So the next day, you walked into class, knowing that there would be screaming way to early to be allowed.

“Why do you look like someone killed your cats?”

Whipping around, you shot a glare so sharp that Iida noticeably shrank back and swallowed hard.

Hissing with Shinso, you both spoke in unison, “Never joke about killing Cats.”

Tokoyami hummed, “It’s weird how you both manage to do that anytime cats are mentioned.”

Again you and Shinso spoke together, “That’s because cats are amazing.”

Sharing a look, both you and Shinso broke out in quiet laughter.

Finally answering Iida, whispering softly so that your other friends and classmates wouldn’t overhear, “I’m upset because I know what’s going to happen today in class and I am not fond of it.”

Iida nodded once. He was the only one in class who knew who your parents were. It was kinda hard not to when his older brother were your parents friends and they would come over all the time when you were both younger.

Taking your seat, you looked to the front of the class. And narrowed your eyes. Broccoli head, Midoriya, was chattering with infinity girl. Which wouldn’t be an issue, if you didn’t notice how tense Explosion boy was and the slight smoke that was coming off his desk where his fists were clenched.

Before you could say anything, the door slammed open and everyone screamed as All Might walked in, “I AM HERE WALKING THROUGH THE DOOR LIKE A NORMAL PERSON!”

You had to swallow a snort. If that’s how All Might thought normal people entered, you had to question who he hung out with.

You caught snippets of your classmates whispered shouts.

“That his Silver Age costume!”

“All Might is teaching here!?”

“The number one Hero!”

“Of course, only the best for UA!”

All Might smiled broadly standing at the podium and when the class finally quieted down, he whipped out a board with the words ‘Battle Training’ on it.

“It’s time to put you budding heroes to the test!” A wall slides out showing a bunch of numbered silver cases. “These are your costumes made with your suggestions in mind! Change and meet at BattleGrounds B!”

Waiting for the rush of students to slow, you made your way to your case, apprehensive.

You had spent days designing your costume. Taking both of your parents advice in, and your aunt’s. Though Nemuri’s advice was a little too risque for your tastes.

In the changing room, you smiled at your friends obvious excitement.

Ducking into a bathroom stall, you took a deep breath. And then opened your case.

“Oh my god.” A breath of air left you in a rush. It was perfect.

A Black bodysuit with Gold detailing around your wrists, ankles, neck, waist, and thighs, and a Black mask that felt like a second skin over your eyes with Gold loops around your ears holding it in place. And the Black combat boots with Gold Soles. 

A note fluttered out from the bottom of the case as you finished putting the suit on.

‘Hi there! I designed this Baby and I hope you like it! The suit is made from a tough yet flexible material! Your request was a little tricky! But The gold detailing is actually a smart mechanism! So when you ‘Shift’ It will retract the black so that it doesn't tear away and the gold itself will stretch around your body in the designated locations on the suit. Any upgrades or questions just come to the support Class and ask for me!

Sincerely,

Hatsume Mei!’

Your heart rate sped up a little, knowing that one more person out there knew about your second quirk. Fearing that they might talk about it, share it with others.

You had disavowed using it, but your Dad had made a good point when designing your costume, what if something happened and the shift was triggered? You didn’t want to end up naked at the scene of a fight.

The feeling of disgust and shame lingered though. Dragon Shift. The quirk that had gained you the nickname Useless Monster from the villains that had you for years. The Quirk you hated with your entire being because it was true. It was a monster Quirk, A villains quirk.

To change into a giant, black scaled, fire breathing dragon that could topple cities and burn people alive...it wasn’t something you wanted to be associated with.

But it was a quirk that the villain’s scientist had concocted for their leader. That had been injected into you. For you to harness and use so that when Sensei took it away for himself he already had it mastered.

Swallowing down your bile, you finished getting dressed and ran out from the locker room, everyone already gone.

Squinting past the bright sunlight, coming out from the tunnel leading to battleground B, your eyes widened as you took in everyone's costumes.

“Damn [Y/n]...You look, uh, good.” Turning your head, you saw Shinso standing by you, his hand rubbing the nape of his neck.

You smiled at him, “Your costume looks good too!” And it did.

He wore a black tracksuit that you knew was inspired by Eraserhead, which had you internally laughing your head off. He had a voice changer and wraps around his arms. 

“Ah! Yamada! You’ve been hiding this body from us!” Your vision was suddenly invaded by Pink as Ashido jumped onto you, her arms wrapping around your neck.

Laughing self-consciously, you pried the affectionate girl off of you in time to see almost every guy in the class flush a light pink and turn away.

“Alright Ya bunch of Zygotes! Battle Training! Today we will be doing indoor battles, Heroes Versus Villains! There will be a nuclear bomb inside the building that the Villains must defend. Winners are decided by the Heroes capturing the Villains, touching the Bomb, or the Villains capturing the Heroes or running down the clock! You will have fifteen minutes once the heroes enter! Now, I’ll be drawing groups! Get ready!”

Everyone passed around pieces of paper with letters on it. Once everyone had a letter, All Might reached into two boxes, one labeled heroes, the other Villains.

“Alright! First up! Group B Will be the Heroes and Group D will be the Villains!”

Everyone checked their letters, and you breathed a sigh of relief that you were not in either. 

Glancing around, you saw the four people who would start off the training.

Walking up to Midoriya, you nudged his shoulder knocking him out of his dazed state.

Smiling, “Hey Midoriya! Your costume is super cute! Kinda like a bunny!” Your eyes squinted as you flashed a blinding smile, tilting your head.

Midoriya flushed a deep red and his eyes looked at the ground, “Yo-you look...look good t-too Yamada!”

Giving him a thumbs up, you left him to strategize as Uraraka came over.

As you walked behind the class to go to the viewing room, you passed the angry blonde. Bakugou, you reminded yourself.

You stopped next to him for a moment. He turned, a snarl on his face.

“What do you want Shitty girl!?”

You frowned at him, but had to focus to make sure you didn’t look at his body. His costume showcased his assets really well and you didn’t need him to know that you liked it.

“Just wanted to wish you luck Baka-gou.” 

Walking away before he could react, you smirked as you heard him scream and yell back at you, “I don’t need your luck! I’ll be number one!”

Once in the viewing area, you gravitated towards Tokoyami and Shinso who stood near the back.

Gaining a nod from the cloaked avian teen and a lazy grin from the purplinette, you put your attention to the giant two screens on the wall across from you.

The fight was nothing like you expected it to be. Half the time you were holding your breath in worry for the Broccoli boy, and the others you were snarling at blonde explosion kid.

Though you couldn’t deny the energy in their fight and how your blood began to race in anticipation for your own fight.

The first fight ended with Midoriya being carted off to recovery girl and Bakugou being silent.

No one else seemed to see it, or find it odd. But you could. You caught his eyes before he looked away once he entered the viewing room, that second was all you needed to know that he was suffering through a panic attack.

Slipping unnoticed, you tugged the silent boy into a hallway.

He ripped his arm out of your grasp and glared at you, but it lacked the usual heat.

His body was trembling, but you could tell he was trying to restrain them.

“What do you want Shitty Girl?” His voice was more subdued too.

Knowing he wouldn’t react well to pity, you simply shrug your shoulders and glanced down the hallway, not making eye contact. From the corner of your eye you saw him relax a touch.

“Thought you would like a breather after that intense fight.”

He made a tsking noise with his tongue and folded his arms across his chest, his gauntlets off after the fight.

“I’m fucking fine alright. I don’t need your fucking help or pity!”

At that you turned your gaze back to him and your eyes clashed with swirling red lava, “I’m not fucking pitying you!”

Your crass language seemed to startle him for a moment, as if he thought you wouldn’t curse.

Taking a deep breathe, you frowned at him, “I know a thing or two about panic attacks, alright asshole.”

He opened his mouth, his eyes hardening and you saw his hands clenched against his arms.

You interrupted him before he could utter a word, your arms coming up to cage him against the wall, “And don’t you dare say you don’t have panic attacks! You were fucking panicking after Midoriya’s stupid stunt back there! No one else noticed! But me! And you will listen to me and you will fucking take my help because No one helped me through my first panic attack and it fucked me up! Okay!?”

Your rant ended, and you finally noticed the position the both of you were in.

Your body was almost pressed up against his, his arms resting on your hips, them having moved in shock when you had lunged forward.

Your hands were flat on the wall beside his head, your breath ruffling his hair.

Bakugou’s cheeks were dusted with a light pink and his eyes were looking past you to the opposite wall.

Jumping back as if electrocuted, you decided not to mention it. Dusting off your catsuit like nothing had happened, you turned away to head back into the viewing room.

Right before opening the door, you turned your head slightly and spoke over your shoulder to the silent teen, “It’s not weak to ask for help, Bakugou. I wish I had asked for help sooner…”

And with that you went back to the rest of the class just in time to watch Todoroki freeze the entire building.

FOREVER Taglist:

@sxph-t​ @mialeelavellan​ @rainydaysrnevergrey​ @platonic-plots​ @sociallyawkwardcircus-freak-hi​ @queenbbarnes​ @mythixmagic​ @chas-z​ @thefridgeismybestie​ @strangersstranger​ @princess-evans-addict​ @rororo06​ @timelordhunterandmysterysolver​ @xxxtwilightaxelxxx 

Scales and Scars (BNHA) Taglist:

@trash1ty​ @darkfaethedestroyer​ @foxinaforestofstars​ @axolotl-of-evil​ @inumorph​

[kaialone]

Spirit Tracks Translation Comparison: The Bow of Light

This will be a comparison of the original Japanese version and the US English localized version.

Specifically, this will cover the scenes following the resurrection of Demon King Malladus.

You can also watch these scenes for yourself in English and Japanese. If you want, you can check out the EU English version, too.

For the comparison, the usual points apply:

Bolded is the original Japanese text, for the reference.

Bolded and italicized is my translation.

Italicized is the official NOA translation.

A (number) indicates that I have a specific comment to make on that part in the translation notes.

As you read this, please keep in mind that with translations like these, it’s important not to focus on the exact literal wordings, since there is no single “correct answer” when it comes to translations.

Rather than that, consider the actual information that is being conveyed, in which way, and why.

--

Characters in this part who had their names changed between versions:

Dego = Byrne, Sharin = Anjean, Mallador = Malladus, Kimaroki = Cole

--

Aftermath of the Resurrection:

Zelda:

…そうだったのですか

...So that is what happened.

Oh, no...

Anjean:

うむ ワシは こやつに敗れた

Indeed, I lost against this one.

I...I couldn't best Byrne.

Anjean:

なんのかんのと 言っても大した奴よ

Say what you want, he's quite good.

I have to admit, he has grown very strong.

Anjean:

たかが百年やそこらの修行で ワシに勝つのじゃからな

I mean, it only took him about a century of training to beat me.

Of course, he's had a century to train.

Anjean:

こやつなりの努力は 尽くしておったのじゃろう…

Knowing this guy, he must have been busting his back, for sure...

And he's always had the drive to succeed.

Zelda:

…シャリン様 マラドーが復活してしまいました

...Lady Sharin, Mallador has been resurrected after all...

And now Malladus has been resurrected...

Anjean:

うむ 奴が おぬしの体に 完全に なじんでしまえば…

かつての神であっても 封印する ことは かなわぬやもしれん

Indeed, and if he becomes fully accustomed to your body...

Even the God of old might not be able to seal him away. 

Yes. And once he adapts to your body, my dear,

even the spirits of good would be nothing to him.

They would be unable to seal him away again.

Anjean:

それ程のものじゃよ おぬしの体に宿る力は…

That's how immense the power dwelling inside your body is...

Such is the extent of your body's sacred power.

Zelda:

…何か打つ手立ては ないのでしょうか?

...Is there nothing we can do?

Is there no way to force him out for good?

Anjean:

ないこともないが…

伝説の戦いで神がお使いに なった武具…光の弓矢…

There might be something...

A weapon which was used by God in the legendary battle... The Bow of Light...

In the battle between the Demon King and the spirits,

there was a weapon called the Bow of Light...

Anjean:

あれならばマラドーの魂を おぬしの体から追い出せよう

With that, Mallador's soul could be driven out of your body.

Perhaps it can drive his spirit from your body.

Anjean:

魂に戻ったマラドーに 残された時間は いくばくもない

Reduced to a soul, Mallador doesn't have much time left.

There's not much time to rid your body of his spirit.

Anjean:

放っておいても すぐに 命が尽きるはずじゃ…

He should soon perish, even if left alone...

Resting even a moment could cost you your life.

Anjean:

…しかし…

...However...

However...

Zelda:

しかし?

However?

However?

Anjean:

マラドーの魂をムリヤリ 引きはがすのじゃ

We would be tearing out Mallador's soul by force.

If we force out the spirit of Malladus, my dear,

Anjean:

その時おぬしの体は どうなって しまうか…下手をすれば…

I'm not sure what would happen to your body then... If things go badly...

I don't know what will happen to your body.

If things go wrong...

Anjean:

おぬしの魂を受け入れる事は もう出来んかもしれん…

It might no longer be able to take in your soul...

Your spirit might not be able to reenter.

Zelda:

そんな…

Oh no...

No... It can't be!

Zelda:

リンク わたしが もしも ずっとこのままだったら…

Link, if I would have to stay like this forever...

Could I really be trapped like this...forever?

Zelda:

一生こんな姿のままだったら..

If I would have to stay like this my entire life...

What will I do if I can't return, Link?

Zelda:

わたし…どうすれば…

What... should I do...?

What will I do?

Link:

もどれるよ / ずっと一緒

We'll turn you back. / We'll always be together.

Relax! / It'll be OK.

Zelda:

…ありがとう リンク

...Thank you, Link.

...Thank you, Link.

Zelda:

シャリン様 その弓矢は どこにあるのですか？

Where is this bow, Lady Sharin?

Where can we find that bow, Anjean?

Anjean:

おぬしたちが 足をふみ入れて おらぬ最後の神殿…

砂の神殿深くに 安置されておる

It's enshrined deep within the final temple...

The Sand Temple, which you two have never set foot in.

Go to the final temple, the Sand Temple.

The Bow of Light is located deep inside.

Anjean:

じゃが…かの神殿は 今まで以上に手強い

But... That temple is more formidable than all the previous ones.

It will be the most difficult place you've visited yet.

Anjean:

光の弓矢をあずかる 場所だけあってな

After all, it's there to keep the Bow of Light safe.

It was built only to protect the Bow of Light,

Anjean:

大がかりな しかけが多く そして謎も深い…

There's many large-scale mechanisms, and the puzzles are tricky, too...

so it's full of the trickiest of traps and surprises.

Anjean:

おぬしらの知恵が試される ことになるじゃろう

It might prove to be a real challenge for your wisdom.

The temple will test all of your abilities.

Zelda:

でも恐れている 時間はありません

But there is no time to be afraid.

We have to go now. There's no time to be scared.

Zelda:

行きましょう リンク

マラドー達が 再び動き出す前に

We should go, Link.

Before Mallador and Kimaroki make their next move.  (1)

We must return before Malladus fulfills his plan.

Zelda:

…シャリン様 この方を よろしくお願いします

...Lady Sharin, would you please look after this man?

Please make sure Byrne remains unharmed, Anjean.

Anjean:

良いのか？おぬしの体を うばった相手じゃぞ？

Are you sure? He did steal your body, you know.

Are you sure, my dear?

He is the one who stole your body, after all.

Zelda:

ええ ですから わたしの体を取り戻したら…

Yes, and that is why, once I regain my body...

Yes, but once I reclaim it...

Zelda:

たっぷり お小言を 言わせてもらいますわ

I would like to have a few choice words with him.

I would like to have words with him!

-

Obtaining New Tracks:

Zelda:

さあ では 光の弓矢を 取りに 砂漠に向かいましょう！

Alright then, let us head for the desert, and take that Bow of Light!

Let's go find the Sand Temple and the Bow of Light now!

Zelda:

とはいっても 砂漠までの線路は つながっているのでしょうか？

Well, that being said, do the tracks reach all the way to the desert?

But do the Spirit Tracks even go to the desert?

Anjean:

案ずるな このフォースが 砂漠の奥へと行ける 線路を 出現させるじゃろう

Do not worry. This Force will make tracks appear that reach far into the desert.

This Force Gem will serve that very purpose. It will open tracks into the desert.

Zelda:

シャリン様…？

Lady Sharin...?

What? Anjean...

Anjean:

知ってるかと 思うが フォースは 人が人を 思う 感謝のしるしじゃ

I believe you're already aware, but Force is a sign of the gratitude that people feel for one another.

As I am sure you know, happiness and gratitude create energy.

Anjean:

わしも 心のそこから おぬしたちに 感謝しておる

And I also feel grateful to you, from the bottom of my heart.

Well, I am deeply grateful to both of you for all of your help.

Anjean:

わしらは 何も手伝って やれんが 頼んだぞ！

We can't help you out, but we're counting on you!

I cannot help you directly, but I can at least give you this Force Gem.

Zelda:

はい！ 必ず 光の弓矢を 取ってきます！ シャリン様！！

Right! We will make sure to get the Bow of Light, Lady Sharin!!

OK, thank you, Anjean!

Text Box:

感謝の気持ちである フォースをもらった！ 海の大地の石版が輝き出す！

You received a Force of gratitude! The lithograph of the Ocean Land is glowing!

You got a Force Gem! The Ocean rail map has started glowing!

Text Box:

新たな線路が現れた！

New tracks have appeared!

This Force Gem has energized the rail map. New tracks have appeared!

Zelda:

さあ 海の大地から 砂漠に向かいましょう！ リンク！！

Alright, let us head for the desert from the Ocean Land, Link!

Let's head for the Ocean Realm, and from there, to the desert!

Translation Note:

In Japanese, Zelda actually says マラドー達/Maradō-tachi here, with the suffix 達/-tachi essentially meaning “that person as well as one or more additional people”. Given the context, she would most likely just be referring to Malladus and Cole here, which is why I adapted it the way I did.

--

Comparisons & Thoughts:

The main cutscene here mostly acts as a set-up for the rest of the story, and there is one major aspect of it that has seemingly been mistranslated in the English version, but there are other, smaller differences as well.

I also included the minor scene afterwards as a little bonus.

-

When the main cutscene begins, we get the implication that Anjean explained the outcome of her battle with Byrne to Link and Zelda off-screen.

Zelda:

…So that is what happened.

Oh, no…

Anjean:

Indeed, I lost against this one.

I…I couldn’t best Byrne.

The English version appears to go for a slightly different approach at conveying this, from what I can tell.

I’m guessing they might have wanted it to sound more natural, which is understandable.

Though, in English, both Zelda and Anjean end up sounding a bit more discouraged by the fact that Anjean lost to Byrne, which is a light departure from the original tone.

-

Anjean’s comment on Byrne’s progress is notably different between versions, too:

I mean, it only took him about a century of training to beat me.

Knowing this guy, he must have been busting his back, for sure…

Of course, he’s had a century to train.

And he’s always had the drive to succeed.

The major point to note here is that in English, Anjean says it makes sense Byrne got so strong, since he had one hundred years to train.

But in the Japanese version, she is actually impressed that it took him only about one hundred years to get this strong.

So in Japanese, not only is Anjean implying one hundred years aren’t all that much, at least not to her, she’s also saying Byrne’s progress in that time was more than she would have expected.

In turn, these differences change the implication of this dialogue’s latter half.

The English version has Anjean note Byrne’s drive to succeed, which further solidifies the idea that Byrne getting this strong was simply to be expected.

Meanwhile, the Japanese version has her note said quality of Byrne more like it’s the only explanation of how he managed to get so much stronger so much faster than she would have imagined.

-

There’s a few minor details as Anjean starts to talk about Malladus and eventually brings up the Bow of Light.

In the Japanese version, Anjean merely states that "the God of old might not be able to” seal away Malladus again, but the English version goes as far as having her say that “even the spirits of good would be nothing to him.”

So, slightly more pessimistic in English there. This is another choice of words that might be there to make Malladus seem like a more intimidating foe?

And curiously, the English version actually has a mention of “sacred power“ here, whereas it was just “power” in Japanese.

A funny reversal of how this usually goes.

The Japanese version also has Anjean explicitly mention that the God used the Bow of Light as a weapon, while the English version doesn’t have Anjean specify if the spirits themselves used the bow or not.

-

Next up is the major difference I mentioned before, which I think is probably a result of mistranslations.

I am referring to this bit of dialogue from Anjean:

Reduced to a soul, Mallador doesn’t have much time left.

He should soon perish, even if left alone…

There’s not much time to rid your body of his spirit.

Resting even a moment could cost you your life.

In the Japanese version, Anjean is explaining that since Malladus is nothing but a soul now, he can’t keep persisting for much longer, unless he’s possessing a proper vessel.

This is a spot of hope for our heroes, since it means that the mere act of expelling Malladus from Zelda’s body should already be almost enough to finish him for good.

Once he’s outside of a body, it’d essentially just be a matter of outlasting him.

And this foreshadows exactly what happens at the end of the game. Without a body, Malladus starts to run out of time and grows desperate.

In the English version, Anjean instead suggests that Zelda is the one running out of time here, implying they will have to expel Malladus before he gets completely used to her body.

I believe the English translators simply misunderstood the first part here, and as a result misinterpreted the second one as well.

Because I can’t imagine them changing this situation to be even more potentially fatal for Zelda otherwise, considering how they usually avoid the more deathly topics.

In any case, as a result of the differences here, we don’t get this first explanation for the events that will happen during the final battle.

The implied idea that Zelda would be doomed if Malladus gets used to her body turns out to be wrong too, since they can still force him out of her body afterwards, he just puts up a bit more of a fight.

-

When Link is trying to cheer up Zelda, the first dialogue option for him in Japanese is “We’ll turn you back”, which the English translation adapted as “Relax!”

A problem with adapting these dialogue options for Link in English is that there is very little text space for them. So for the rare moments where Link has slightly longer sentences as options, the English localization has to find some way to express them with much fewer words.

In this case, “Relax!” is probably meant to reflect how the Japanese version of this line has Link be reassuring and confident in their success.

Working with such restrictions is difficult, so I appreciate how they managed to boil down the basic sentiment, even if they couldn’t have him say the same line.

The second dialogue option is a bit different.

In the Japanese version, Link has the option to say “We’ll always be together”, which appears to be Link suggesting that even if Zelda does end up being a spirit forever, he would still always be with her.

The English version adapts this as ”It’ll be OK“, which could read as reflecting that same sentiment, mostly if you already know the original wording.

Part of me feels that maybe they didn’t want to have Link’s reply bring up the possibility of Zelda really getting stuck as spirit, but maybe they just found no alternate way to word this.

I’m not sure if something like “We’ll be together” or “I’ll still be there” could’ve fit or worked.

I think the “We’ll always be together” dialogue option for Link does make Zelda’s response to it feel a bit different though.

Since in this case, it makes it seem as though with his reassurance, she decides to keep going, even if she really has to face this possibility of remaining a spirit.

-

In the English version, Anjean says that the Sand Temple will test all of Link and Zelda’s “abilities”, but in the Japanese version, she only says it will test their “wisdom”.

I don’t know if the English version made an intentional change here, or if this is just a result of the wording they happened to pick.

Now, I’m not sure, but I think the Japanese version’s choice of the word “wisdom” might not have been arbitrary though, considering how Wisdom is a quality of the Triforce that is also associated with incarnations of Zelda.

Compare this to how, in the scene in which the children first met Anjean, Zelda used the word “courage” when urgently trying to get Link to get going.

While those mentions of these words are pretty quick and don’t seem that notable in the grand scheme of things, they might have been intended as subtle references to these qualities generally associated with incarnations of Link and Zelda respectively.

-

In the smaller scene after the main cutscene, we got an appearance of “Force Gems”, simply called “Force” in Japanese.

I already explained Force in general in an earlier part, but here we see it as an obtainable item, too.

Specifically, this kind of Force that you can obtain in this game is crystalized Force created from emotions of gratitude.

I can understand calling these specific items “Force Gems”, and past English Zelda localizations have used that same term to refer to crystalized Force, too.

Ironically, this term could work nicely to distinguish this crystalized kind of Force and the general concept of Force better, but the latter term is mostly omitted in English Zelda games.

-

And finally, the Japanese version unambiguously has Anjean say: “We can’t help you out, but we’re counting on you!”

I can only assume that by “We” she means herself and her fellow Lokomo, but I can’t say for certain.

The English version changes this to: “I cannot help you directly, but I can at least give you this Force Gem.”

I’m not sure why they went for “I” rather than “We” here, because this is actually one of the rare instances where the Japanese line specifies the subject clearly. It’s just わしら/washi-ra, simply meaning “we”.

Changing “counting on you”  to “can at least give you” might have been a translation issue, since the phrase Anjean uses is 頼んだぞ/tanonda zo, which can be translated as “I’m counting on you”, but it can also be translated as “I’m entrusting this to you” when you’re giving something important to someone.

But I’m confident that the latter meaning is probably not intended here, since Zelda’s reply makes more sense with the former.

-

Overall these scenes are a bit of a mixed bag for me.

I’d say roughly half of the text here is translated accurately in the English localization, while the rest varies more.

I think Anjean’s tone at the beginning of this scene works more in the Japanese version. She sounds more confident about her own power, which is cool to see, and it also makes her sound more impressed with Byrne’s progress.

Just overall stronger characterization there, in my opinion.

The big one for me is that one mistranslation, though.

The one where the Japanese version has Anjean explain that Malladus would soon perish without a body, while the English version instead says that Zelda will soon perish.

It makes us lose out on some foreshadowing for the climax, which makes the story progression of the game slightly less cohesive.

But more than that, it has an impact on Zelda’s implied motivations here.

With Malladus out and about, lots of lives are in danger, and he needs to be stopped quickly. Anjean reveals that a method to make fairly quick work of Malladus does exist - but it would put Zelda’s own life at risk.

Up until this point, Zelda arguably could come off as slightly self-centered occasionally, even if she meant no harm and it was often for comedic effect. Moments like her rant towards Link, or her putting her body’s retrieval above all else.

Again, there is no doubt Zelda means well for everyone, but when it came to fighting Malladus, it was always something she was doing at least partially for herself, obviously.

And now we get another challenge for her.

Malladus can be defeated soon, likely saving the lives of almost everyone in the kingdom, but in turn Zelda can’t ensure her own safety anymore.

So, the idea of fighting Malladus would now change into an almost entirely selfless act on her part.

It’s not spoken out directly, but the implication from Anjean voicing her concerns, as well as Zelda’s hesitation, seems to be that technically, Zelda could make the choice to not seek the Bow of Light.

She could make the choice to look for a different method instead, one that would be safer for her body, but would take longer, and thus endanger the lives of her people.

This seems like the main conflict for Zelda in this scene here.

In the English version, there is less of a choice for Zelda here, implied or otherwise.

Since Zelda is stated to be the one running out of time in this version, getting the Bow of Light as soon as possible is just going to be in her best interest either way.

So her main conflict here is more that she needs to overcome her fear of what could happen, so she doesn’t get scared into inaction.

It’s not a bad lesson to learn, but it feels a bit incomplete when you compare it to the Japanese version, which I think is a more direct natural progression from Zelda’s attitude when she and Link truly began their adventure together back at the tower.

I am very glad though that the English version retained Zelda’s comments about wanting to have “words” with Byrne.

That was just a nice way to close out that cutscene, and it’s one that works perfectly well in English, too.

And with that, we close out this part as well. Feel free to check out the next one!

--

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