#they can actually work through that angst together if you go that route tho

[swiggity-swexual-i-am-asexual]

Oh but what if DP verse DID have a Soulmate Mark System, but it was different than the DC verse’s Soulmate Mark System.

You could have it so one or the other has a mark no one else has, or they both have new marks that are kind of a combination, OR my personal favorite—Danny and Whomstever have the OPPOSITE universe’s Mark. So say DC verse is, like, ‘Sees Colors At Touch’ (all colors, one color type, eye color, what have you) while DP verse is ‘Eye Color Exchange At Touch’ (or more accurately, before Touch TM, the person has two colored eyes, with one eye color being their soulmate, and when they touch the respective partners get their correct eye color back—you could work it for the opposite way tho, ofc).

Danny is running around thinking he’s a very specific kind of color blind, meanwhile Whomstever is just like ‘huh, heterochromia, cool?’ (If they notice, since chances are they both have blue eyes lmao… assuming it’s the blue and not the green eyes of phantom form. Does their eye just change as Danny does?) and they BOTH think they don’t have soulmates. Their friends and family are all like ‘oh no I’m sure it’s okay, it’s fine, maybe it’s just a very particular color’, bonus if there’s different population ratios and stereotypes about those without soulmates or what it means to not have a mark.

Then the two TouchTM. Danny suddenly has new colors and probably thinks he has shrimp vision now if he did not know he was colorblind before, Whomstever no longer has The Eye That Changes Colors Maybe (or has now GAINED said eye), and both are like AH, UM, WHAT. You should probably make Whomstever as one of the detectives because Danny may have all the cards for figuring it out (alt universes, knowing that he could dimension hop, probably having found that some dimensions are VERY different than others) but he also sucks at card games and is tragically clueless so he’s not figuring it out without help. Whomstever is, again, now on a man hunt of their own, because what the FUCK is with the eye thing?????

It probably takes approximately 15 business weeks for either of them to actually figure out the soulmate thing, they just thought there was some weird magic the other person did and then liked each other regardless. You can even get as far as the first date after Danny’s pinned as a dimension traveler for them to realize that they have different Soulmarks in their world. Insert Spider-Man meme here tbh.

Y’all can use any soulmate au and or combinations there of, but that’s what I could think of as a fairly good example of what I mean, lol.

A DPxDC soulmate au idea

So DCverse is a soulmate world (pick any soulmate way btw, words, touch, drawings on the skin, can't see color(s) until they see or touch them, etc etc)

DPverse doesn't.

Meaning Danny wasn't born with a soulmark BUT he gets one after becoming a halfa because he is now connected to the Infinite Realms.

SO its during another one of Vlad's schemes, he's popping into different worlds and stealing things or something like that (basically like that one ep where Danny chases Vlad through the timeline after he stole Frostbite's map)

During the chase they pop out into the DCverse in one of the hero cities (pick any, not picky on which) and their fight is getting a bit out of hand (Vlad's fault, he's using the stuff he's been stealing, and Danny is doing his best to getting innocent people from getting hurt)

ANYWAYS during the fight, one of the cities hero's come to try to help/find out whats going on when Danny is hit by Vlad and gets tossed at them. The moment they either touch or Danny/Soulmate says something to the other, Danny feels the odd mark on him burn up and is MEGA confused on whats going on but decides to do what he does best.

Ignore it for now. He'd figure it out later he still needs to stop Vlad.

He apologizes to the other hero and gets back into his fight, missing the look of complete smitten awe/shock said hero had on their face.

[heyitsyn]

Manager!Seijoh OIKS ROUTE

a/n: this,,,, is probably the angstiest out of the routes and i seem to only write angst for oikawa and i think its a problem

this is for @what-a-creative-username​ bc oikawa is their favorite seijoh boy so this is for you 🥺

and actually buckle your seatbelts bc this is my longest work and its the biggest mess ever :’) also, this is kinda all over the place soooo

anon:

- May we have an x Oikawa ending to the Manager AU?

- okaayyyy so this is a request for the manager series. please pleASE PLEASEEEEE- make a oikawa ending! 🥺 cuz he’s my favorite and all those times with him in the story feel like more than just friends

OMG IM SORRY BUT MY INNER OIKAWA SIMP THAT I NEVER KNEW WAS EVEN THERE STARTED TO PEAK THROUGH

so basically yea

as seen in a lot of the parts,

oikawa is very,,,, loving towards you

like his entire demeanor was just so different and so,,, authentic,,,, than the ones he shows to other females

maybe it was because you didnt want him in the beginning?

the moment he saw you, he did his first antics and he expected you to turn red and fluster and cutely shy away from him 

yanno the works

yet you gave him a stony stare and denied him

ofc he was hurt and a little offended bc were you rejecting him?

hes never been rejected before and he prides himself for that but you just did and continued to do that

so he made it his mission to make you at least feel something for him

like the period part or his random proclamations of his love for you

he did it all

it didnt matter if it would bite him in the ass later because he was impulsive and he wanted you to show yourself being affected with his charms

because he was the FREAKING OIKAWA TOORU

ong this is like his validation that he is still a ladies man and has a charm that couldnt be resisted by anyone

he constantly told you that he loved you to see a reaction from you and he always was touching you whether it was just the shoulder or your hand

oikawa wanted to see you as his own personal cheerleader and you reacting to his affections would really bring him over the moon

this brings us here in the gym today

‘y/n-chan, do you want to go-’

‘oikawa-san, i dont trust you wanting to go on an innocent outing without any hidden intentions’

the team snickered and he pouted, eyes watering and curling at your side

‘y/n-chan, please? oikawa-san really wants to spend time with you~’

he begged and you finally looked up from the notebook and stared at him

god hes been much more annoying lately but you knew it was his way of letting out his anxiousness and nervousness for the incoming interhigh

so you decided to indulge him just this once and made a deal with him

‘the moment you try anything, even remotely romantic or flirty, i will leave’

you bargained but he gasped

‘what?! then what’s the point of-’

‘so you DO have hidden intentions, oikawa-san?’

you raised your eyebrow causing oikawa to quickly shake his head and detach from you

‘fine. none of that stuff, just hanging out, okay?’

he was still fussy but he accepted it

oikawa had a plan to take you to a cafe that just opened up and take you shopping and basically spoil you because girls like that, right?

they fall for boys who give them everything, right?

nope

so i read a study that surprisingly most girls arent into shopping apparently and they prefer to buy something themselves because apparently they feel indebt and dependent on men if they let them spoil them like that

idk about you but i would let oikawa spoil me tho

his plans were completely crushed when you argued with him for nearly 15 minutes to take half of your tab with the food

‘y/n-chan! i invited you out so i should pay! and boys have to pay!’

he complained, holding the other end of the tab envelope thingy but you pulled it back towards you

‘oikawa-san. you should never listen to societal normalities and instead listen and respect my wishes of paying for my half rather than going by the rules of males paying for females’

im sensing a bit of a bokuto and akaashi typa relationship between you two

oikawa shook his head and slightly stood up to lean over the table, his face approaching yours and you were slightly surprised by the sudden closeness causing you to lean back and be focused on getting away so your grip on the tab loosened

he grinned as he snatched it away from your grasp and quickly placed his card into the slot before running up to the cashier

your mouth was slacked and surprise was still written on your face even when he returned and oikawa held up a peace sign to try and lighten up

but your shock morphed into being upset

‘oikawa-san, listen here. you had-’

but he waved you off with a smile

‘no, you listen here, y/n-chan. oikawa-san loves you therefore he will give you everything in the world and all you have to do is sit there and point at whatever you want because my love will bring it to you~!’

you rolled your eyes

‘please stop being like that, oikawa-san. im not your girlfriend so dont act like my boyfriend’

he lightly scoffed, disguising it with a cough

‘y/n-chan, i dont think you understand. oikawa-san is telling you to be his good little girl and sit down. i dont understand why youre being so stubborn’

he growled softly

wHAT iS hE sAYinG

you shook your head in disbelief and stood up collecting your things making the brunette to also stand up in curiosity

‘y/n-chan? youre leaving already? i wanted to go see other places with you! i wanted to take you shopping!’

you halted and looked up at him through your long eyelashes

‘oikawa-san, i’d rather you save your money and rest your injuries instead’

you reasoned but he raised his hands in front of him to signify his wish for you to stop

‘but i want to be with you, y/n-chan’

he whispered and you blinked

‘i dont want you to spend a single dime for me after this. just you and me, oikawa-san, no money, just us’

he nodded eagerly

‘we can go anywhere you want! just,,, stay with me’

then he found himself in a bookstore with you

it was a quaint hole in the wall bookstore that you both found as you walked down the street and you excitedly dragged him inside, hand still laced together

the rows of shelves that contained different worlds in the pages were your serotonin

he watched you excitedly run to the fiction section and browsed through the different spines for anything special to check out

‘y/n-chan, i’ll go use the bathroom really quickly’

you nodded and oikawa kissed your temple before he left towards the restroom

your eyes flitted across the different titles and you snatched a book of poetry

oikawa hurriedly walked over back to you but he didnt find you at the place you were before

so he continued sifting through the mini hallways of shelves and then he stopped

it was so,,, domestic 

seeing your bright eyes looking down at the book  on your hands and the way your mouth slightly moved with the words

it was such a simple sight yet why did you look so beautiful?

the shimmering eyes that flittered when you came across a sentence you liked 

the soft lips that kinda jutted out making his desire to feel it increase that he would give anything to feel on his own

you were so focused that you didnt notice him moving behind you and wrapping his arms around your waist, only noticing his head resting on your shoulder

‘’come, my darling, it is never too late to begin our love again’’

he mumbled to your ear and you released one hand from the book to grasp his arms that were around your middle

‘you read poetry?’

you whispered and oikawa chuckled

‘of course. a man as romantic as I am ought to be a poet’

he reasoned and you laughed

‘yet you fail to sway me, oikawa-san’

‘no, there is a difference. you dont want my love but i know you want to be loved by me, i can assure you!’

you swiftly placed the book back on its former place and you turned around to swing your arms around his neck

‘hmm,,,, love was never something for me. especially with you boys around’

oikawa looked down to see your shorter height and he caressed your hip

‘i love you, y/n, so let me love you the way you deserve to be’

he whispered not understanding the weight of his words and you looked down to hide the growing blush on your face before burying your face into his sweater-clad chest

‘so not fair oikawa-san’

you mumbled against the fabric but he heard it and he bursted into giggles

‘ehh~~ youre not being the fair one, y/n-chan! youre make it so hard to not fall for you when youre so beautiful~!’

he whines and you rested your chin on him so you could look up at him and your pout made him squeeze you tighter

‘hah?! that doesnt make sense! im nothing but a mess of-!’

you started but was cut off when he kissed your nose and whispered:

‘but what a beautiful mess you are’

okay so i know this is the saddest one out of the routes but ive just been serving fluff so the angst is coming soon!!!!!!

once you both were finished in the bookstore, you suggested going to this hill that allowed you to see the stars clearer

‘hmm, oikawa-san, there’s this place that natsu used to take me to whenever he wanted to see the stars so i think you’d like it’

you mentioned while walking on the sidewalk

oikawa’s hand was clutching yours and you were swinging it back and forth while lightly skipping and kicking the rocks

he watched you, amused, at how child-like you were acting right now but he was also touched, knowing your knowledge of his love for space

‘sure!’

the night sky allowed the stars to light up and you both shared giggles and laughs as the two of you stumbled over your feet with no light except from above

however once you made it to the top of the hill, oikawa pulled you close to him as you huddled on a seated position

‘how’d you know i would like this, y/n-chan?’

he asked and you gave him an obvious look

‘hah? its so obvious! you keep drawing the cancer constellation on your skin and you had an astrology book in your bag that you were also reading in the bus’

your answer brought warmth inside him and he never thought you were so perceptive of him

you noticed every little thing he does and hes,,,, never had someone do that before

except for iwa and his family and team, no one knows of his little ticks and the way he becomes obsessive of a topic once he gets interested in it

you noticed it all

‘that right there, its the big dipper!’

you pointed and he followed the direction of your finger before nodding

‘yep! waaahhh its much prettier seeing it higher up than my roof!’

he exclaimed and your gaze left the constellation towards the boy beside you

‘really,, pretty’

you absentmindedly muttered yet he was sharp and heard you

‘but its different to look at something much more beautiful’

this caused you to quickly go back to looking at the stars so you missed his love-filled eyes

‘i want to name my children by constellations. so that they can keep the oikawa legacy going forever like constellations being at the sky for all eternity. or naming it after the sky! then i can make sure theyre never going away’

he said and you nodded

you kept pointing out different shapes and laughing at his funky claims of what some stars connected to and created

‘oikawa-san, lets go to the star festival later’

you offered and he in turn looked away from you, turning red at the way the small lights illuminated your face and somehow making it more,,,, angelic

so he covered it up with his own teasing 

‘oh? the meeting of the two lovers?’

you dont know why but your cheeks burned at the mention of the ‘L’ word and oikawa noticed, quickly poking fun of your cheeks

‘oh, y/n-chan, dont be so shy!’

you pouted and turned away

‘never mind’

oikawa’s laugh rang throughout the space and he pulled you closer, practically sitting on his lap, while pointing out the stars and him pressing kisses to your cheeks

the intertwining of your fingers combined with the kisses made you feel as if you were floating with how free you felt

and you loved every moment of it

after that outing with your captain, you were conflicted

it wasnt the first time he’s openly said he loved you and his shower of affections have been there since the very beginning

yet how come you were just now feeling,,,,, different??

you were sure you felt an odd feeling inside you when he said your name with no usual suffix and it wasnt just the food that didnt agree with you

whenever his lips came in contact with your skin, it left blazing trails of red that spread out as far as it could

the heartbeat that quickened once he kissed your forehead at your doorstep and the grin you last saw when you closed the door

or the unknown smile that you didnt know you had on until natsu, who was visiting, pointed it out

‘darling, why are you just standing there? and why are you smiling like that? its weird, stop it’

you didnt even have the attitude to scold him and you giggled before twirling and holding his hand

‘oh, natsu~ i want to dance! and sing!’

you shouted, taking him with you and dancing around the living room

tbh natsu was very worried but he remembered you mentioning that you were meeting some guy today and it might be the reason as to why you were acting like this

he was happy

you deserved to be loved as you are and you were finally getting that love

but,,,,,,,,,

it didnt last long

albeit having a lot of fun, oikawa seemed,,,, off to you

it was,,, awkward

maybe it was because you were now aware of some type of growing attraction inside of you or every little thing he does to you could send you into shapeshifting and channeling your inner tomato

forget potato, youre now a tomato

but even his touches and affections were now limited

restricted

like the the next time you both saw each other, you shyly but happily bounded up to him and greeted him good morning

but his eyes widened, taking a step back before laughing awkwardly

‘ah ha ha, hey y/n-chan’

oikawa greeted then side-stepped to enter the gym

god you felt like you were slapped in the face

you remained frozen, staring at the spot he previously occupied and your mind was running quickly

was it because your senses were now heightened that everything made you extra sensitive?

usually, oikawa would squeal at the fact you were even greeting him this morning but he literally just walked away from you

no, you were just,,,,

overreacting

right?

yea, just,,,

overreacting

iwa noticed your downcast expression and he had a feeling it had something to do with oikawa’s off expression

you hurriedly placed your bag down and took out your notebook to start taking notes for their practice

big boy ace went up to you and placed a hand on your arm which caused you to flinch

he immediately backed off, letting go and stepping back

‘wh-hey? y/n? you okay? did something happen?’

he worriedly asked but you shook your head, not even bothering to meet his eyes

‘uh-yea. mhm, perfectly fine’

you lied and he wanted to press further but mattsun and makki called you over to check out their blocks so you ran to them

but he had a feeling you were just taking every opportunity to not answer his questions

while you were pre-occupied with the meme team, iwa marched up to oiks and tugged him around to fully talk to him

oikawa watched your interaction and he knew iwa would immediately start questioning him too

‘oi, what the hell did you do’

there was an underlying tone in his best friend’s voice that he didnt particularly like

oikawa did what he does best and plastered a smile on his face

‘hm? what do you mean, iwa-chan?’

‘what the hell do you mean what do i mean? you speak japanese dont you? so tell me what the hell happened during your date because it seems like shit happened and now youre both acting weird’

oikawa flinched at the blunt words but it was the truth

he was acting weird and this caused you to probably act weird too

god hes so dumb

but he,,, was going through stuff right now

it was a situation that he didnt want to involve you in 

and,,, seeing you dancing with natsu with the biggest smile on your face through the window of your house

okay guys dont think this is weird or stalker-ish bc i actually saw this in a kdrama ages ago and i thought it was just so sweet and cute and dont take it the weird and stalker creepy way :(

it certainly brought him pain

this was what he wanted though, right?

he wanted to see a reaction from you with his antics and he wanted to see you flustered and giggling like one of his lovestruck girls

but dear god that was when he became aware of your growing feelings

oikawa even saw it before you did with the way you gave him those longing stares and small smiles and the small squeezes of his hand when he would laugh

initially, he wouldve teased you for it but then he kept quiet

this entire time he knew you, he felt,,, love,,, for you

and by god, he was so scared

he wanted to run away

because he was well aware of his personality and him as a person 

he could make you smile the biggest and the happiest but he was also the type to make you feel the most pain and cause the deepest wounds on your already fragile heart

he didnt want that responsibility and burden

it was too risky

oikawa knew he was a ticking time bomb and he was afraid if you got even just a centimeter closer

you would be the one hit with the blast the most

maybe it was that sight that made him want to distance himself

it was a sight that made him realize that you deserved someone much better and that someone couldn’t be him

the happiness that danced in your eyes and the smile that decorate your beautiful face

can you imagine the irony?

the moment you notice of your growing feelings, the moment he decides to withdraw and pull away

.......

practice was,,, suffocating? 

the team knew of the tension these past few days and you both def were not the same

oikawa has not said he loved you or even pestered you once and as much as the guys hated seeing it, they were getting worried

did you both fight?

what happened?

when oikawa was talking with the coach and you were grabbing something from the storage room, they immediately took this chance to pounce on iwaizumi since he was the closest to the both of you

‘oi, iwaizumi, the hell happened?’

makki asked and the others nodded, wondering the same thing

but they were surprised when he shrugged

‘dont know. stupidkawa refuses to talk and i dont want to bother y/n bc she seems,,, weird about it’

if iwaizumi didnt know, then something serious did happen

you and oikawa continued this weird eggshell walking and you even gave up after trying to ask so many times on what was wrong and only to be answered with,

‘nothing~! y/n-chan should never have to worry her pretty little head about old me~!’

that answer didnt bother you

it was his smile

the genuine smile that you were so happy to receive as it was only for you

now seems gone and replaced with his fake one as if you now became one of his fangirls

what took the cake was his appearance to practice with a girl in his arm

they were both laughing and seemed trapped in their own little bubble to even notice the team’s wide eyes and concerned looks to you

you didnt even notice your teary eyes until mattsun quite literally picked you up and shouted he wanted to help you fill up the water bottles

he placed you outside, sitting on a bench by the gym

you were biting your lip and staring at the ground while he was leaning back and looking at the sky

‘the sky is very pretty today’

he complimented but it wasnt heard by you

you only came back to reality when he nudged you gently and you shot him a crooked smile but he sighed at the look of hurt written all over your face

‘oh, y/n, i am getting increasingly worried for our generation. theres so many sad eyes on happy faces’

he tutted and returned to gazing back up to the clouds

you scrunched your nose and scoffed

‘i dont understand you, mattsun-san’

you mumbled and fiddled with your fingers

mattsukawa issei shook his head and pointed above

‘y/n-chan, our eyes enables us to identify beauty and we have the urge to immediately capture it to remember that we did find something beautiful. yet, we feel hopeless as we cant to put the beauty on paper because we are only given one crayon to draw the sunset’

it felt all muddled

there was no sense in his words and you were sniffed, trying to understand

‘mattsun-san, did you eat any more of those candy makki-san bought from that one guy?’

he bursted into laughter and you couldnt help but quirk your lip at the sound of his joy

‘who knows? taka is my boy and i trust him so if he gave it to me, then,,,, it cant be that bad, right?’

you blanched

‘mattsun-san! im not about to go pick you up from the er again just because makki-san dared you to do something!’

mattsun finally wandered his eyes over to you and he tucked a stray piece of hair behind your ear

‘thats the thing with you, y/n-chan. youre quick to love others but you lose pieces of yourself in the process. i have no right to tell you who deserves it but please ask yourself, is that sacrifice worth it?’

you knew he wasnt talking about your love for the team

but for the love for a certain setter that didnt go unnoticed by the middle blocker

leave it to mattsun to make you laugh and you were letting out your last giggles as you stepped into the gym

oikawa stopped talking and focused on the two of you, 

more specifically,

you

he watched as you laughed and swatted mattsun’s elbow as he jokingly made fun of your height by resting his arm on top of your head

yes this was what it was supposed to be

you deserved someone who could make you smile and only smile

he doesnt even hesitate but even imagine the tears that would fill those beautiful eyes and he knows it would all be his fault

no

he will stop that from happening way before it would occur

he will do anything to make sure you will never cry because of him so he will distance himself and now, he gives up

it could just be his stress and insecurities talking but he knows right now,

he wants you away from him

oikawa tooru, the boy who could get anyone he wants, couldn’t get the girl he wishes for the most

dear god was it laughable

after practice was finished,

you quietly and quickly packed up the nets and picked up the balls to get yourself out of there

these past few days made you feel so much confusion that it hurts

if there was anything worse than him not talking to you,

it was not knowing why 

that curiosity and desperate need for answers creates wild and self-destructive theories 

did you chew too loudly when you ate?

were you boring and not as fun as the others?

was he angry and humiliated of his pride as a man when you scolded him for paying for you?

has he gotten tired of you now that he knows who you really are?

that last question suddenly created a new set of tears to appear

throughout the day, you were so composed and distracted yourself with the lectures of your teachers and not anything of why this certain brunette was avoiding you

but a single insecure question made that wall crumble and you hurriedly shoved the trolley of balls into the storage room and grabbed your bag before rushing out of there

you sniffled and hurriedly walked home so you could go and cry on your bed in peace

but ofc 

hiroshi natsu exists so ofc he distracted you when you entered the house with a red puffy face

quietly, he led you to the couch and he wordlessly grabbed a tissue box from the coffee table to dab away the tears

you sniffled and clenched your fists to will yourself to stop these dumb salty water drops

‘i cant tell you its going to be okay because i dont want you to cling on to false hope. but i know it hurts. its worse that of all people, oikawa tooru had to be your first ever crush’

he chuckled

you took a shaky breath and wiped your face

‘this was why i shouldnt have liked him. god! all we did was eat dinner and look at the stupid fcking sky! thats it! so why-! why do i suddenly like him?! AM I THAT DESPERATE?!’

you wailed and blew your nose while natsu patted your back

‘i mean,,, to others it sounds like youre easy to sway’

you looked up from the tissue to glare at him but he continued

‘but to me,,,, it sounds like it was just the last push you needed to finally see oikawa tooru in that way’

you nodded, laughing weakly

‘i dont know why im acting like a lunatic like this. hes just a crush anyway so it’ll probably fade in a day or two so bear with me until then, kay?’

but his grim shake of his head gave you no hope

‘rather than fade, it will grow. and i might have to bear with this for the rest of our lives. now you be a bad bitch and sit there and look fine as hell while i go order 10 boxes of pizza and load up teen moms’

the impromptu movie night distracted you a little bit from it all but you still couldn’t help but think about it

GOD WHY WAS NATSU SO DRAMATIC?!

BECAUSE OF THAT IDIOT YOU ARE NOW SITTING IN CLASS, BAGS UNDER YOUR EYES, AND BREAKING YOUR PENCILS IN HALF

all you have to do is make sure you think of oikawa doing something disgusting to make that attraction fade away

oikawa licking his toes

oikawa licking his toes

oikawa licking his toes

oikawa licking his-

‘y/n?’

you snapped out of your daydream when kunimi reached out to you

kindaichi, who came over for lunch, and him were staring at you in concern and they shared a look

‘y/n, something must’ve happened that day with captain’

kunimi started but kindaichi snapped

‘see?! this is why we shouldve never let you go! the first time you go with him and now youre a mess! tell us! did he force himself on you?! did he-?!’

you stopped the onion top boy with a forced smile and a squeeze on the arm

‘o-oikawa-san would never do that, kindaichi. hes better than that’

‘but clearly not because look at you!’

he shouted and you flinched 

kunimi hurriedly knocked him to the floor

‘get ahold of yourself, kindaichi’

he mumbled and you stood up and walked to the bathroom at the west wing that nobody uses so you could freely cry without any suspicion

was it obvious?

was it clear that you have been a mess after a week of being ignored by oikawa?

nah, youre just being a dramatic little shit

youre sticking to your word of quickly forgetting about the whole ordeal

but you definitely cant if your nightmare was happening before your eyes

as you approached the bathroom from the end of the hallway, 

you saw an unknown girl but an all too familiar boy giggling and rushing to get inside the bathroom

and for good measure, oikawa looked around to make sure no one was there but then he saw you

despite the distance between you, he could see your glistening eyes from the sunlight that seeped in from the big windows

he saw the way your hand trembled and your eyes twitched when haruna poked her head out to see why he was still outside

‘oikawa-senpai~~’

she drawled out and reached a manicured nail to his wrist 

your eyes followed her touch and then you and the boy shared eye contact

through the watery eyes, he could clearly make out your silent plead

please dont go to her

please

stay with me

dont go

but he went in anyways

------

that was the moment you forced yourself to not think about him anymore

as if you werent even working your hardest lately, you will work your hardest now

everything between you and him was now strictly professional as practice that day signified the very first day of your moving on stage

you couldnt believe these past 2 weeks has been a real nightmare yet you were slowly waking up from it

there was nothing you could do about it bc oikawa obviously didnt mean anything he said to you and maybe thats what ticked you off the most

you were easily led on

he blindly tugged you along the moment you saw his smile

he definitely thought of you as just as a game and when he finally got tired and bored, he dropped you and went to another

kunimi and kindaichi noticed the coldness of your eyes and the stoic expression on your face and they were genuinely terrified of you so they didnt want to ask any questions

even with packing up, you aggeressively shoved everything in your bag and the blep boy finally gained the courage and nervously tapped his finger on your desk to gain your attention

you swiftly dropped in your pencil case and looked at him

‘what’

he flinched at the cold tone and his eyes showed concern

‘uh-i-are you okay?’

he slowly asked and you visibly clenched your jaw but you nodded anyways

‘never better’

you didnt bother waiting for him to finish packing up and even passed kindaichi by the door as you were walking towards the girl’s locker room to change into your manager outfit

your entrance to the gym made the noise die down and you noticed the third years with glares on and aggressively practicing

‘whats wrong with all of you’

you asked and iwa scoffed before shaking his head and opening his arm

‘cmere. i missed you’

he said and ngl you were a little confused bc this wasnt something iwa usually did but you still stuck to his side

‘why-’

‘he told me what happened’

iwa whispered and you stiffened in his arms

‘w-what?’

iwaizumi flung the boy to his own bedroom wall

he huffed, panting at both the weight of oikawa tooru and the intense anger that burned through his veins

‘you-you are a piece of shit!’

he shouted and he moved to grab oikawa’s collar and lifted him so the brunette could see the fire and disgust present in his olive eyes

‘you think i didnt see what the hell you did? fcking leaving y/n sobbing as you-you-! AGH!’

iwaizumi couldnt even finish his sentence as he was so angry that he harshly sent oikawa flying back down to his floor

oikawa was crying

not from the beating

but from his regrets

god he knew he messed up

he shouldnt have done it

but he did

iwa ran his hands through his hair and angrily sat on his best friend’s bed, eyes shooting daggers at oikawa

‘right now. tell me the truth right fcking now or so help me god’

he hissed 

oikawa tooru shuffled closer to the wall and brought his knees up to his chest

‘im so scared’

he sobbed

‘im so scared, iwa-chan’

his tears were pouring down and he brought a hand to muffle his cries

‘i-i just w-wanted to-to see something out of her. li-like a reaction! because she wasnt like th-the others! but instead i fell in love! me! and she did too!’

he pointed and quickly stood up, pacing and gripping his hair

‘it was all just for fun! she-she knows im like that! yet she still fell in love with me!’

‘how could you tell she-’

‘BECAUSE OF HER EYES!’

even iwa flinched

‘HER EYES SHOWED ME LOVE! HAPPINESS! AN-AND YOU KNOW WHAT SHE DID?! WHEN SHE GOT HOME?! THROUGH HER WINDOW, I SAW HER DANCING! SO HAPPY SHE WAS DRAGGING THAT BASTARD COUSIN OF HERS AROUND! I DID THAT! I CAUSED THAT!’

there was so much confusion in this poor spiky haired boy bc he knew oikawa was in love with their manager so why is he avoiding her now even though she reciprocates those feelings?

‘im missing something here, oikawa. youre telling me, she loves you, but youre here regretting that?’

his tone of disbelief made oikawa shut his eyes in frustration

‘DONT YOU UNDERSTAND?! YOU CALL ME A PIECE OF SHIT EVERYDAY AND I KNOW THAT! I FCKING KNOW THAT IM A PIECE OF SHIT AND A FCKING BASTARD!’

he shrieked

thankfully, his family wasnt home currently to see him breakdown

‘SO WHY THE HELL DO I DESERVE A LITERAL ANGEL?! A GODDESS?! A BEAUTIFUL PERSON FOR ME?! A FCKED UP NARCISSIST EGOTISTICAL IDIOT?! AN IDIOT WHO’S TOO PRIDEFUL TO GET THE HELP HE NEEDS?! I COULD HURT HER! I COULD DESTROY HER IN A SINGLE SNAP! THE SCARIEST FACT IS I COULD DO IT WITHOUT THINKING! I COULD SAY THE WORST THINGS TO HER AND IM SO SCARED THAT I WILL HURT HER! I DONT DESERVE HER, IWA! SHE DESERVES SOME-SOMEONE LIKE YOU! AND IT HURTS TO THINK THAT BUT I DONT CARE! A-AND WHAT IF WE GET TOGETHER?! HM?! HOW LONG DO YOU THINK IT WOULD TAKE HER TILL SHE FINDS SOMEONE BETTER?! HOW MUCH CAN SHE TAKE OF GOING THROUGH EPISODES OF SOME DEPRESSED, INSECURE, PRIDEFUL ASHOLE LIKE ME?! HOW LONG DO YOU THINK SHE WOULD REALIZE HER SELF-WORTH AND KNOW HOW MUCH OF A SHITTY PERSON I AM?! I CANT-!’

iwaizumi pushed himself up from the bed and rushed to grab his best friend before forcing the brown haired boy to his chest

oikawa tooru was having a panic attack

he heaved and wheezed and loudly let out his cries and iwa made them sit on the floor where he could comfortably cry

‘youre such an idiot, tooru. but she knows that, doesn’t she? she knows who you are, what you are, how you are, your flaws, everything- she knows all that. yet she still fell for you, doesnt that tell you something? for once in your life, consider other people’s feelings before yours. y/n is one hell of a girl and i wont allow you to let her slip past you just like that. i know- we all know- how much of a broken person you are, oikawa, and it hurts us all to know that no matter what we do, we can never fix you. but y/n-gosh, y/n is the only person to even have a chance to do that. and you admitted that youre depressed and you have a problem? well,, get some help for that, oikawa. the first step to be better is by accepting the only person who can accept you for you’

iwaizumi didnt reveal to the other third years of what happened but just said that oikawa did a really terrible thing to you and hes currently repenting for it

however mattsun and makki pretended they didnt hear oikawa regretting it and focused on the fact that the captain even had the NERVE to hurt you

iwa squeezed you tightly and you returned the hug

but he whispered something in your ear

‘everyone makes mistakes, y/n. the only thing we can do is to repent for them’

you pulled away, about to ask him what hes talking about but one look from his eyes made you realize what he was talking about

he mustve known what happened but hes defending him

you clenched your jaw and looked away

‘i destroyed myself for a stupid reason and its one of my regrets. im not going to make the same mistake twice’

you quietly hissed and moved to your station by the bench to begin taking your notes

you noticed that oikawa was late for practice today and although you kinda hate him, you are still a manager first and he was one of your responsibilities

you were about to go to the coach and tell him you’d look for the setter when the gym door slid and in came the devil himself

but there was a large bruise on his cheek and a cut on his lip

your feet moved quicker than the rest of you that you were in front of him in a second

‘what happened to you’

you worriedly asked and oikawa just stared at you

his eyes shook and watered at the sight of you

this was the first time you talked to him without any coldness in your tone and he missed it

he missed hearing you

his silence made you roll your eyes and you roughly grabbed his arm before throwing him on the bench you were sitting on

the team watched, on edge of whats happening, but was put back to practice when you gave them a side-eye

your fingers opened the ointment and your kit to treat the bleeding lip and the swollen side of his face

‘youre the captain. its not wise to fight before practice and be late. youre hindering everyone else’

you coldly scolded and oikawa shrank back

‘it was iwa-chan’

he mumbled and you stopped and quirked an eyebrow

‘what? why did he-’

then you froze

iwa knew

and he beat oikawa up for it

he fought his best friend for it

and iwa didnt look fazed at all

despite being a muscle freak, iwa was very soft and his iron defiency made him prone to bruising

yet why was he so clean

it was like iwa hit oikawa but in turn, the other didnt fight back

no

you must stop

youre overthinking again and youre over analyzing it and youll end up at the place you were before

however

oikawa noticed the dawn of realization on your face and he shakily reached out to touch your hand

‘i,,, didnt. because i deserved it. i-’

he sniffed and you knew he would start crying right now

the last thing he wanted would be to cry in front of the others so you immediately stood up and went to the coach

‘coach, oikawa-san needs treatment that i dont currently have with me. i would need to take him to the infirmary’

he nodded and waved you off so you had the clear

oikawa flinched when you harshly grabbed his arm and pulled him up so he could follow you out the door

it was such an awkward silence between you both but you bit your lip, focusing on the fact that you were just doing this bc he was your obligation

it was like you threw him to one of the cots then you rummaged through the medicine cabinet for an extra cotton ball and a better ointment

‘i fcked up, y/n’

your movements halted and your eyes drifted down, looking at the tiled floor

‘i messed up so bad’

he hoarsely said and you could tell how much pain he was going through by the way he let out a shaky breath

‘oika-’

you made a move to turn around but he stopped you

‘no! dont look at me! just-just dont,,, i cant-i wont be able to say it if i look at you’

he cried and you nodded

oikawa leaned his forehead on his intertwined hands with his eyes on the floor before starting

‘i want to say im sorry. because everything, all of this, it all started as a game to me’

you closed your eyes tightly, tears welling up in your eyes

‘you,,, you didnt bat a single eyelash at me. you didnt try to please me, you didnt chase after me, no, you didnt see me like that. it made me,,, i dont know,,, confused,,, that girls like you even existed. it,,, not gonna lie, ticked me off and i was offended that you brushed me away so easily like i was some,, some bug on your shoulder. so,,, i wanted to see,,, and try,,, if i could make you,,, like me. and i know! i know its messed up but god y/n i swear i didnt want to hurt you. i just,,, i wanted to see if i could ever make you look at me like the way they did but it backfired. i wanted you to chase me but in the end, i ended up chasing after you. i chased and i ran without knowing that you were slowing down for me so i could catch you. that,,, that date made me realize of how,,, how perfect and beautiful you are a-and how unworthy i am to even receive anything from you. i saw how happy you were after that, dancing, twirling that poor idiot around. at first,, it made me so so proud. and so happy that i made you do that. i put those stars from the sky into your eyes and somehow you made them shine much brighter. then,,,, i got scared. i started thinking about,,, about me. and how i am. ive been trying so hard to please other people that ive lost sight of the real me and how terrible i am. and y-you! i just- y/n its so hard for me to explain all this right now- my current mental state, the pain on my face- i cant,,, but at that moment i realized that you,,, you were better off without me. youre so kind, so beautiful, so smart, you could go do so many good things in life. and im just going to hold you back. i didnt want to hurt you so i,,, chose to just cut the string now and,, we wont get hurt later. but,,, i regret it. i regret it so much, y/n. all my life,,, everyone cooed and awed at this child just because of how he looked like and,,, he got used to it. everyone wanted me because i am oikawa tooru but they didnt want the entire oikawa tooru. iwa,,, iwa hit it into my head that,,, you,, were the only one who bothered to even see that side of me’

when he finished, he looked up but gasped at the sight of you standing in front of him

fat tears were rolling down your face and you wore the angriest expression

‘i-,,,i hate you so much, oikawa tooru’

you seethed

your eyebrows were scrunched up together and your nostrils flared as you cried harder and you let out a cry

‘i hate you, i hate you, i hate you’

you chanted and oikawa saw his vision cracking

his world was now falling apart

he did the last thing he would ever do and you were now at your most pained moment

‘youre so selfish, impulsive, and terrible’

you whined and punched his shoulder at each word

‘but i love you so much. i hate you because you made me cry and made me feel so hurt but i still love you. why-why cant you stop playing your games, tooru? stop playing with me now! stop it! stop-!’

you didnt get to say anything else because he grabbed your waist and held you in his arms

it was like you didnt even weigh a thing by the way he lifted you to sit on his lap and he gently led your face to his neck

‘im so sorry’

he repeated constantly while brushing your hair and rubbing your waist

you and oikawa tooru spent an hour sitting on that bed just crying 

after a while, you stopped and resulted to just hiccuping

‘youre selfish, tooru. you listened to yourself and did whatever you wanted rather than talking to me. i hate you but i,,, i love you, oikawa-san. i shouldnt say that but if i dont, im afraid you’ll go ahead and do something stupid again’

he chuckled but he squeezed you tighter

‘i dont,,, want to let you go, y/n-chan. let me be selfish a little longer and love you all to myself’

and by god did he become selfish

it took you a while to get over your defensive and guarded actions from him but you were slowly finding yourself forgiving him

YO IM SORRY BUT I WOULDVE DROPPED HIM LIKE PLEASE WHAT THE HECK Y/N REALLY REALLY LOVES THIS GUY

natsu absolutely despises him still and whenever oikawa even comes over, hes always glaring at him and oikawa would shift uncomfortably but accept it bc he deserved it

‘i didnt realize how badly i hurt you, y/n. i could never imagine you accepting me still. ill spend the rest of my life making it up to you’

he promised and you laughed

you were both lounging on your bedroom floor, mean girls playing in the background, while just staring at the ceiling

you brought your clasped hands up so you could look at it

then a goofy smile settled on your face and you turned to look at him

‘just continue loving me, oikawa-san. thats all i ask for’

then graduation came

of course the boys were all teary but oikawa seemed even more sad and he refused to look at you the whole day

you figured it could just be him being mopey over not seeing you everyday like he was able to before

then you both were walking home and he still hasnt looked at you

the silence was killing you but you just kept a tight grip on his hand and he would smile at you and kiss your hands

it still didnt wash away the odd feeling in your stomach but you would talk to him later after you gave him present

for the weekend, you were able to convince your parents to go on a beach trip at okinawa while you made natsu go over to tokyo and stay with katsuki

oikawa didnt know your family was out so he stood by your door, waiting for you to enter

you both stood there, staring at the floor, not knowing what to say

until you softly grabbed his hand

‘come in. i want,,, to talk’

you mumbled and oikawa’s eyes widened, silently panicking that you possibly found out

it was a secret not even iwaizumi knew so you couldnt have known

right?

you led him up to your room and pushed him down to sit on your bed

FLKDSJFLKDJ WHY AM I DOING THIS WHAT IS HAPPENING SOSOSOSOSOSOSOS

ALSO Y/N IS NOW 17 ON THIS YOU GUYS LIKE BLS SHES ONE OF THE OLDEST IN HER CLASS BC HER BIRTHDAY SITUATION SO SHES BEYOND THE AGE OF CONSENT IN JAPAN, RIGHT?

oikawa was confused and he watched you bite your lip and look off to the side

‘y/n-chan? why are you nervous? you said you wanted to talk?’

he asked

but you unzipped your skirt and let it drop on the floor

‘for graduating,,, and working hard for these years,,, im giving you this’

you finally met his eyes

then he knew

oikawa blanched and he quickly stood up and placed his hands on your shoulder

‘y-y/n! uh-i-are you sure? a-arent you-’

‘accept it, tooru. youre,,, my first love,,, so,,,, ill give you my other first’

KSDLFJSDKFJSDLK OKAY YALL LETS STOP THERE FOR NOW AND GO TO THE TIMESKIP OKAY?

OKAY

-----

oikawa was running in the airport

despite the shouts of civilians he accidentally pushed, he made no sign of stopping and if anything, ran faster till he reached outside

the rush of his sudden trip home was clear as he was only carrying a duffel bag full of clothing he hurriedly stuffed inside 

when he met the orange ninja boy in brazil, he quickly caught up with his underclassman and got drinks to talk about japan the last 2 years of his career

they both got simple beers and some appetizer to share as they reminisced the past

hinata was excitedly talking about the reconciliation of kindaichi and kageyama and how they were still enemies on court but were now friends

‘eh~? tobio-chan making up with kin-chan? what’s next? flying sushi?’

he joked and hinata laughed

‘it was partly of your manager, oikawa-san! she helped them make up!’

the previous smile on oikawa’s face slipped at the mention of you 

‘hmm,,,, she always made the impossible happen’

he mumbled and hinata nodded

‘l/n-chan became close to kageyama through kindaichi and kunimi and she would bring us food and stuff too! but only on times she wasn’t busy’

the ninja said and dipped his chip into the salsa while oikawa stared at the liquid

‘you guys must be special for her to go all the way to karasuno’

then hinata said something that caused the brunette’s ears to fall deaf to the loudness of the bar

‘it wasn’t a problem since coach ukai took care of her son’

oikawa didnt even give hinata another word when he rushed out of that bar after overcoming his shock and straight into his apartment

there were tears that blurred his vision as he shoved in shirts and pants and other necessities for a trip to japan

he argued with the front desk lady to give him a ticket to the earliest flight to japan despite her saying that it was hard to give him a seat when the plane was full

but luck seemed to pity this baby daddy as someone pulled their ticket out and he was able to take it for himself

it was the longest journey of his life and his hour long layover gave him an opportunity to call the only person he thought would even know where you were

iwaizumi

oikawa paced at the waiting lobby with his phone pressed to his ear as he listened to the ringing of his call

he bit his lip in anticipation and ran his fingers through his hair for the upteenth time until finally it was picked up

‘damn you, shittykawa, do you understand what time-’

‘iwaizumi, is y/n still in japan?’

of course his best friend was startled with the question as the setter hasnt asked him any question related to you in a few years

‘wha-how the hell am i supposed to know that? im in california, oikawa’

‘dont lie to me. she still talks to you since youre probably the godfather of my son’

he hissed and iwaizumi was now fully awake and his heartbeat was beating quite quickly 

how did he figure out

‘oi, oikawa, listen to me she-’

‘please! dont!’

he shouted and didnt care if he startled anyone else around him

‘dont lie to me! of all people! you dont lie to me!’

‘why should i tell you when you were the one who up and ran? huh?’

oikawa fell silent and iwaizumi could hear his sobs through the phone

iwa sat up on his bed, leaning against the wall as he contemplated revealing this secret you begged him to keep since his best friend sounded like he was on the verge of breaking apart

poor oikawa tooru already suffered so much

‘i swear youre going to make me regret this. but y/n is in,,,, tokyo and,,,,, she,,,,,, didnt want you to know about,,,, about everything. well-she did want to tell you but she had her own reasons not to and,,, and its perfectly valid for her to choose whatever she wanted. and yes, i knew and yes, i am his godfather but please, oikawa, whatever you do, dont go to japan, you understand? shes still hurt by it, idiot, and shes angry and you sound angry and-’

but of course,

oikawa didnt listen and he hung up but continued his pacing but this time, tears blurring his vision

the taxi driver noticed his frazzled expression and quickly stopped in front of him

oikawa gratefully hopped in and quickly told the driver the address he forced out of iwaizumi (with great reluctance)

‘this is the last time, understand me, tooru? youve already hurt her so many times and i cant bear to see it all over again so you need to fix it. but you mess this up again, not only will you lose her, you’ll lose me too’

the old man felt sorry for the young lad and stepped on the pedal to get him to his destination in the quickest time 

the apartment building was several stories tall yet the elevator ride felt like a snap when he finally arrived at the floor your apartment was supposedly on

what the real kicker was when he stood outside your door and he hesitated

would you let him in?

would you even want to see him?

would you punch him?

would you cry?

he was so worried but didnt realize that he already pushed the doorbell and a faint shout from inside made his heart jump

‘UNCLE KYOOoooo,,,,,’

the door opened and the boy’s voice went quiet, knowing this wasnt the man he was expecting and he quickly and harshly slammed the door shut to his face

oikawa was stunned

was this the right apartment?

did iwaizumi trick him?

but those thoughts were wiped away when the door opened again and a girl was softly chiding the boy before turning around with a smile to greet the person but then it fell

similar to her son, she slammed the door shut and oikawa panicked

‘y-y/n? h-hey!’

he exclaimed and with a clenched fist, he stood there

you were hyperventilating inside

how did he find you?

why is he here?

does he know?

‘mama? who’s that oji?’

the bright eyes of yozora looked up at you and you blinked, briefly seeing the man behind the door at the face of your son

you sucked in a deep breath before smiling lightly

‘yoyo-kun, can you go play with dino-kun while mama and oji talk?’

yozora blinked back up at you before shrugging and nodding and running off to your shared room

once he was gone, you quickly composed yourself and opened the door again, shocked to see oikawa already half-way down the hallway to the elevator

‘would you like some tea before you go?’

you called out and he stopped, almost giving himself whiplash at how fast he turned his head

it was like his instincts took over when your voice started speaking to him

as if he was 18 again, oikawa found himself trailing after your voice and you nervously led him inside

his eyes were moving really fast as if he wanted to quickly soak it all in before it would disappear

this was where you lived

with your son

who was his son too

there was a picture by the door of you and the little boy from earlier

it was at the planetarium nearby and tooru’s heart bloomed at the sparkle in that child’s eyes

jesus, he was beautiful

‘yozora. thats his name’

you said, noticing him staring at the picture

KDFLJSDKFSD PRINCE NOCTIS LUCIS CAELUM BABIESSS!!!

‘night sky’

oikawa whispered

the teapot was still hot and you were able to pour him a cup so you both sat on the dining table where he sat across from you

‘n-nice place’

he stuttered out

you nodded, tracing the rim of your own cup

‘its natsu’s and katsuki’s actually. my parents kicked me out so they offered to let me stay with them’

you reasoned, not meaning to sound cold but it came out as if you were being passive agressive

‘o-oh? ho-how is he-’

‘oikawa-san, what are you doing here?’

he visibly flinched

calling him by his last name stung since you called him ‘tooru’ the whole relationship so returning to his surname is your way of cutting off the whole thing

‘i,,, i found out. a few days ago. from shoyo. he told me their coach looked after yozora and,,, i knew he is,,, mine’

you let out a humorless chuckle

a scoff

then you looked up to meet his gaze, oikawa gulping at the hardness in your eyes

‘what makes you think so? what makes you think that i wasnt angry and spiteful enough to give myself to someone else so they could have what the great oikawa tooru had? what makes you think that i would remain loyal to you despite you just running off to the other side of the fcking world without a word? hm? oikawa-san? what.makes.you.think.so?’

out of guilt, he broke the stare to his own steaming cup of green tea

‘nothing’

you whispered

he shakingly sighed and you could tell he was about to cry

but you rolled your eyes and crossed your arms

‘go ahead and cry, oikawa-san. im used to temper tantrums. i have a son for god’s sake’

‘you would never do that to me, y/n. you promised that you would always love me and only me and i know you take promises to your grave’

he reasoned but it sounded like it was him convincing himself

the dry laugh you let out made him fidget

‘and you promised that you would always talk to me and communicate. yours is a much lighter and easier promise than mine yet you get to break it and i can’t? no, oikawa-san. to me, its like that year never even happened’

you were now just trying to rile him up due to your anger towards him

you shouldve let him walk to the elevator and leave and never come back

but you still invited him in anyways

oikawa snapped his head up

‘you cant say that or mean it, y/n. that boy over there, hes a reminder of me. he looks exactly like me so you cant ever forget what we have’

‘what he had. it was simply the past, years ago, and everything has changed since then. dont you dare try to dig up buried secrets, oikawa’

‘but why did you keep him from me?’

he pleaded, desperate for any answer as to why

‘i had every right. the moment you boarded that plane, he no longer was yours. you left, i stayed, and you cant just come back here and-’

‘mama?’

a small voice from the corner halted your loud voice and you and tooru looked at him

oikawa yozora was exactly like his father

from his loud and obnoxious personality to even the brown hair and brown eyes

KFDSLJFKDS REMEMBER THAT KID FROM OLD UKAI’S VOLLEYBALL CLUB?! THATS WHAT HE LOOKS LIKE!!

he looked absolutely nothing like you and people even get confused when you say hes your son

um maam i think hes my son since he came out of me

so oikawa was right

yozora was your daily reminder of the mistakes of your youth but he was anything but that as he is the greatest thing to ever happen to you

yozora became your light when you fell into depression after oikawa ran away

sure, your parents absolutely loathed poor child as he is a child of a child

but you kept him because he means the world to you

and the world he holds are in his eyes

‘i,, i heard yelling,,, and,,, thought mama and oji were sad,,, so,,, i bring my,,, star book because,,, it makes me happy,,, and i think,,, mama and oji will,,, be happy too’

he mumbled out and you smiled at him before moving to go to him but oikawa stopped you

his eyes begged you and you glared at him, deciding to withdraw

if he decides to do anything, you could always knee him between the legs

he slowly approached yozo and kneeled down to reach eye-level

‘hello, my name is oikawa tooru’

he softly introduced himself and yozora just stared at him

‘you oikawa too? but i oikawa! mama is he me?!’

yozora shouted and you giggled, running to take him into your arms

‘oh, darling, how curious you are. oji isnt you, baby. he just,,, has the same last name as you. like mama has hers but you have,,, oji’s’

your eyes drifted to oikawa but he remained on the floor, staring at the spot where yozo stood on

you kept his last name

you listened to him from that night at the hill by naming his son after the night sky

my god, you are so,,, 

‘--the book. oji? do you?’

he was brought back to reality when your son was now back on the floor and poking his shoulder

tooru blinked and looked at him

‘huh?’

‘i ask if you want to read my book with me, oji. mama say she happy but you still sad so my book make you happy’

not even an hour of meeting him, oikawa tooru already loves him

the volleyball player nodded and yozora offered a tiny hand to which he accepted

‘this way. mama say to read so she make food. i like food, do you like food, oji? i like food. i like milk bread. mama say papa like it so i like what papa like. i want papa to come home. sit there’

tooru’s heart beat faster every word his child uttered and it even went faster when he saw yozo struggle to get up on the couch

the pair of big hands that brought him on the cushion made him happily sigh then uttered a small ‘thank you’

‘my mama say that my papa give me my book and say to take care of it until he come back. and she say he come back when im a master of space! so i study and read my book every day and know all so papa can hurry home!’

tooru didnt even notice tears falling down his face until yozo blinked up at him with his small hands grasping his cheeks to wipe it off

‘why you cry, oji? no sad! no sad! here! i read my book so you not cry’

he babbled and quickly pried the book open and read out the words on the page, not realizing he was saying most of it wrong

that book was oikawa’s

the book that he read all the time in the bus and now, it was passed on to his son

you leaned against the wall and gasped at the sight of yozo just babbling and oikawa crying

‘yoyo-kun? what did you do to tooru?’

you fussed and sat down next to oikawa

yozo worriedly looked at him and now his own eyes were watering and soon enough, you have 2 boys crying in your living room

GURL IM SORRY BUT I WOULDA KICKED OUT OIKAWA LIKE NOT EVEN OFFER HIM TEA OR ANYTHING IM SORRY IM TIRED AND IDK WHATS GOING ON

‘a-ah, y-yozo! yozo-kun! oji is,,, just,,, uh,, sad because,, because pluto isnt a planet anymore!’

yozo sniffled and he went closer to oikawa

‘me too, oji. yoyo sad too because pluto is just small. other planet are onii-chan and onee-chan but pluto is baby so they not like him’

he rambled and oikawa pulled him closer

‘mama, can we keep oji? nana-san and katsu-san will like him! promise!’

you couldnt even believe what was going on right now

not only did your baby daddy ex-boyfriend suddenly pop up, your son was now wanting to keep him

you made a move to of course deny his request but oikawa opened his mouth first

‘yozora-kun, of course you could keep me. im your papa, after all’

OKAY THAT WAS IT

YOU DID NOT WANT HIM TO SAY THAT TO YOZORA

out of shock, you slapped him across the face

causing yanno what happened

oikawa screamed

a/n: yoooooo SO LIKE THIS IS RIDICULOUS LIKE THIS IS BOOTY IM SORRY BUT THIS IS ALSO IN MY GOING TO EDIT LIST AND I CHOSE THIS OUT OF MY 10 OTHER VERSIONS OF THIS ROUTE AND I MAY OR MAY NOT RELEASE ANOTHER ONE JUST TO MAKE UP FOR IT. but try not to let this flop 🥺 👉👈

ALSO CHI THAT K+Y AND THE T+Y IS ON THE WORKS RN AND IM LIKE HALF WAY DONE SO I MIGHT RELEASE THEM BOTH AT THE SAME TIME

[konaizumi]

Fish Upon the Sky ep 8 thoughts/reaction

lol the game host is like ‘what just happened?’

glad mork finally learns to back off in this ep bc public declarations of affections are clearly not the way to pi’s heart (don’t know how he hasn’t picked up on that to this point)

the episode is titled social distancing and that’s hilarious to me (and pretty fitting for the ep)

the shippers somehow got worse (but i guess that’s the point)

(and i’ll forgive prik bc at least she has a conscience later on)

i still don’t like him using the texting thing to try to influence pi--thought pi seems to be catching on to his weird behavior

but i like how we can see more of mork’s desperation this ep instead of just smugness like the balcony scene

now mork just needs to give him some fucking space already

i think i say it every week but i love duen, he’s ready to fight anyone who messes with his brother

also the scared look on mork’s face when duen threatened him

i love duen, but i must admit that if someone like him acted towards me the way he acted towards girls i’d prob react the same as those girls

at least he’s self-aware of his personality

aw poor baby meen tho, he’s so sad

i would like to see pi and meen interact more please

(also duen and mork better get some scenes together where duen gives mork the shovel talk)

narong is such a mood

but yeah that fanpage is really getting out of hand

mork’s interview really pisses me off with the way mork is so sure about pi being in love but just repressed (when pi really is just confused and i don’t think he’s fully in love yet like everyone thinks) and the only reason i can forgive him is bc he knows how badly he fucked up once pi tells him off

also the vaccine thing is still pissing me off, you don’t get a vaccine when you’re already sick, it’s a preventative thing

good for pi just throwing the phones

for all mork’s confidence, i think he is trying his best to woo pi and he just really doesn’t know how and maybe this is his first time actually going after someone, so i hope we see some actual growth in the next few eps where mork does things that would appeal to pi specifically

i’m so glad pi finally got to vent on mork a bit, it was a long time coming and honestly they both needed it

so prik is redeemed (somewhat) but kluea is now going down a weird evil route

so pi says he made the clips himself (and there are an unknown amount of clips but more than one) so i think it’s more likely that he gave one to duen (or duen stole one) and that’s how it got to meen (i don’t think meen having a secret connection to nan is likely but could be interesting)

pi don’t have so little faith in nan

also where is nan? i haven’t seen mix’s pretty face in far too long

also koh trying to make a cool exit and immediately falling

i adore meen, not being assertive enough and letting other people in front of him is so relatable

duen it wasn’t bullshit, you miss him~

pi, you were absolutely not being too harsh, it was necessary

they never came back around to the coffee scene, was it actually mork who cleaned it up? i thought that was the implication

is brushing your teeth at school a common thing? or are they just emphasizing it bc he’s a dentistry student

i appreciate mork doesn’t use the secret texting thing to try to get pi to forgive him like he’s done in the past, he really does know that he messed up and is trying to give pi space

also the reveal of mork as the texting friend was nicely done

it’s my sweetheart jan! i’ve missed her since tonhon

also what the fuck is with kluea tho

how did they do the library scene without laughing tho

mork looking back at pi like ‘is it working?’

i love bam already

they are fucking with us with that balloon scene. the guy is ep 4 is not neo, and neo in this ep is wearing the proper uniform (which he wouldn’t do if he’s not a first year but it might be part of his thing with meen) and someone else said that it’s not actually duen it’s jus supposed to look like duen and i’m so confused

next ep: mork seems to be back on his bullshit next ep but let’s hope it’s dialed back a bit, finally nan is back, we are getting closer to pi learning mork is his texting friend (and i really hope it happens next week is isn’t prolonged anymore so we can get through that angst and move on), also sounds like maybe nan is going to talk some sense into mork

so good ep, we’ve covered some things that need to be covered like the shippers, set up some future plots, keep it up futs

[baka-monarch]

Alrighty! *Slams hands on a desk*

You see this?! *Gestures to the oh so wonderful Music Tubbox au*

It's... it's beautiful.

I have some questions about it that I'd like to hear your thoughts on, if you don't mind. (This is going to be long)

*Before I start, I'm recalling these details with the inability to double check atm but it should be fine*

You mentioned Tubbo wanting to escape the music box to where he wouldn't have to dance if the music box played, so does the box have a certain range of area in order to control Tubbo?

(Now for potential headcanon time >:D)

If so, a fluffy route is Tommy and Tubbo chilling (after knowing each other for a bit) and having placed the music box deep in the basement or something. They could get rid of it, but they don't know if the magic tied to Tubbo is also tied as close with the box. (Life line stuff- and it's not fluff anymore. I tried.)

The angst route tho (and gotta love some angst) is if say Tubbo is out of the general "range" of the box to dance but the music box calls to him-the music is played- from wherever. A scenario where Tubbo can't ignore its call and is forced to go reunite with the box- whether he's concious of the pull and heading back to where it is despite the dread or whether he's unconscious, like its an automatic process and his mind blanks as he hurries to be back with the box. (The possibilities if someone got their hands on the box with the angst mhmm)

And speaking of someone getting ahold of the music box...

Dream.

:)

Dream gets ahold of the box (maybe noticing Tommy originally getting it, or like, Wilbur might've been doing a photo gallery of things to sell to potential customers idk stay with me, and skips over it fast or is like "oh, I already sold that one" to try and cover the fact that the box is very much NOT for sale, and not within their possession in case anyone did perk up with interest)

I don't know what Dream's profession would be... or relationship with Wilbur and co, but I could see him doing it (taking the box) to mess with Tommy. He took one of Tommy's finds that Tommy seems to appreciate. (The whole "you're too fun" dynamic because c!Dream just loves seeing kids in pain)

Dream could know about Tubbo prior or after the whole thing. (After playing the music box, Dream sees Tubbo arrive at some point to be with the box)

Tubbo is understandably terrified. Tubbo and the music box had never really been separated before this moment -out of the range-. (Tommy could have either just agreed to not play the box and have put it downstairs or Tubbo tried to escape the range and Tommy physically went after him, not choosing to utilize the music box.)

OR ALTERNATIVELY They do know, maybe Tubbo could have known this would happen because Tommy and him tested it out to see if he was free and Tubbo was like "I didn't want to come back... it /made/ me come back..." So que the alarm bells when Tommy realizes the box is gone after he can't find Tubbo.

Anyway! Back to Tubbo and Dream. (Tbh as soon as doll!Tubbo became a tag I went "Pawn? Puppeteer Dream? Porcelain doll? Puppet?!) A chess piece for a pawn might be bigger than doll!Tubbo... (o.O) 2-3 inches is pretty small.

So... assuming Dream does realize how important Tubbo is to Tommy, Dream uses it to his advantage. (Is making Tubbo dance the only thing the music box can do? Or could it control Tubbo to do other things as well 👀... depending on the music box holder 👀... up to you)

That brings me to the doll!Tubbo is "fairly fragile" as you stated in one of the asks. Which yes, great, stunning, he can feel things, and if one of his arms gets chopped off? Well that's alot of damage. Can Tubbo die while he's "fairly fragile"? (I mean the name implies he's fragile so... I guess so...)

Because alternatively, (and this is just for the idea) consider Tubbo still being fragile physically, but he can't die-or atleast is hard to kill-. A porcelain body, but he doesn't really feel sensations. (Because he is a doll, and do dolls breathe, do dolls have heartbeats, hmm) Tubbo's body is still breakable, maybe he loses an arm. "What a shame" but he lives on, there's not much he can do. He can't feel anything besides the solids underneath him and the things he touches. No smell or texturized sensations. He can't feel pain, so he could get cut up into pieces and still be aware of exsistence. (The whole clothes stuck to body thing tho I don't want to disprove that)

If he couldn't feel pain, imagine Dream drilling small holes on his body to add little puppeteer strings. Dream is excited he can't wait to hold /this/ over Tommy's head.

Tubbo, being dragged by strings, is completely helpless, and once realizing that Dream relishes in his struggles, has mainly given up.

Do they talk to one another? Who knows...

You mentioned a potential counter curse which... fluff good fluff, but what of it involved Tubbo slowly gaining "human characteristics" back (more so to the idea that Tubbo can't feel sensations, smell things or feel pain)

And then the drilling starts, and for the first time in a long time, Tubbo feels pain. (Also the drilling puppet strings is dark, yessir, but I forgot Tubbo was porcelain and was like ah yes wood doll, ah yes, puppet strings go brr)

Anyway, that was my ramble, thanks for reading this!

-EchoLocation

FINALLY!!! SOMEONE IS INTERESTED IN THIS AU!!! THANK YOU ECHOLOCATION!!!!!!

Okay okay okay-

So (it's gonna be hard to answer all of this but I'mma try-)

Music box control: there is a range, basically if Tubbo can hear the music he has to dance to it- BUT if he's out of range and someone plays the music he is forced to get into range to hear it from the curse (like what you said with him being stuck in a trance and going to find it). As for control, you can use the box to make him do other things, but you have to change the melody (music boxes have this little metal roll in them that has dots to play the song, and you can buy a new one and change it any time) and sing an actual song to that melody about what you want him to do- singing to the original melody doesn't work

Dream: Dream is probably someone who buys and trades stolen items from Wilbur alot. And most likely a hidden fae. So, Wilbur had taken a picture of the box and posted it on his (secret) website before he knew about Tubbo, and when Dream saw it- he immediately recognised the cursed music box and wanted it. Of course by then Wilbur would be unwilling to sell it, but Dream has his ways (fae cursed the box remember? So, what fae that's going to steal this box do you think was there when it was cursed? Dream. So who knows how to utilize the curse? Dream.)

Tubbo and pain: Tubbo can feel pain. But he can't die. So you can shatter him to a million pieces and he would be in agony unless someone glued him back together- and he can't pass out- (I know, I'm a monster). Dream knows all of this- so when he wants a puppet it just makes him do a sloppy job at drilling the holes in, just so he can hurt Tubbo more.

Counter curse: through the counter Tubbo would turn back very slowly, and it would take at least a year to turn completely human again (although he would be free from the box's control instinaniously)- as well as, even though he was turned into a tiny doll, he can't be grown back, so he's now a tiny human- but at least a free tiny human

(I think I got it all?)

Mcyt g/t tag list:

@nomynameisanon @trashpumped @loriepoptale @encaos @i-am-a-weeb @wyforyu-gaming @shy-septic-dragon @5unfl0writ3r @colorfulsiren @moonmwah @iwasgoingtohellanyways @echoslime @wilbur-simp @trouble-off-grid @the-misfits-system

[netheritenugget]

Okay so my lore is kinda really complicated but basically, Wilbur and Eret were both kids who'd had their lives screwed up and were left on their own. Eret saved Wilbur after he was orphaned at 10 from a bad fever and they found Tommy and Tubbo about a year or so later in a village that had been ransacked and abandoned, both of them about 3 years old, give or take. They can't just leave these kids to die so they end up taking them on and raising them together.

Eret is the stricter of the two of them, usually who punishes the two boys when they do something bad (like when Tommy put bugs in Tubbos sleeping bag or Tubbo pushed Tommy into a bunch of mud), but they also teach the boys how to read, about surviving, and calms them down after nightmares. Tubbo was Erets boy growing up, while Tommy was Wilburs, and Eret often called him 'Little Bee'~

Wilbur is the more fun 'parent', the one who can make the boys laugh on bad days, who sings them to sleep, makes up games and stories and songs to pass the time. Hes also the one that if he's mad at them for something they did, then the boys know it must've been really serious (like when Tubbo nearly fell into a frozen river because Tommy dared him to walk on it)

When Fundy came along later on, Eret was honorary 3rd parent that became 2nd parent after Fundys mom was killed (by Dream). Fundy was Erets baby (not to say he didn't love Tommy and Tubbo as their own but he'd helped bring Fundy into the world so the connection was immediate as opposed to gradually built) and Fundy called them 'Pa' since he was very young up until...the betrayal, which was for different reasons then simply money n a title like in the main Canon, but I'll save that for another time because this is already a lot"""

-🐦 (I'm only on anon because Tumblr hates me and a lot of time my asks don't go through if I'm not""")

This is a really cool idea! I love it!!!

I'm just so soft for the mental image of Eret cooing over baby Fundy. Just holding a little fuzzy fox kit in their arms like he's the most precious thing they've ever held.

And the angst. The angst of Eret being Wilbur's closest and oldest friend, practically his brother, and betraying him... Fundy losing his second dad... Oof. That hurts. That's some good angst right there. (T-T)

Is Eret a hybrid in this AU, or a cryptid? And can I inject the idea that Wilbur Soot is also a fox hybrid into this story, because I'm very fond of that headcanon. :D

The only small problem I have here is the ages that Wilbur and Eret took in Tommy and Tubbo. I would assume Eret is also 11? I'm four and a half years younger than my younger sister. And at eleven years old, even though my sis would have been six-ish at the time, I definitely didn't have the physical or mental capacity to handle looking after her 24/7. And even if I had been taught enough about childcare to make sure I didn't immediately kill her by accident, it's still too young for things to turn out well. I'd bump Eret and Wilbur's ages up to 13, at least, that's probably the very very youngest I'd trust to parent anybody. It wouldn't hurt to also give Wilbur and/or Eret some previous experience with looking after very young children. If you don't want to go the dead siblings route (a bit too sad, even for a story like this, imo, but write whatever), maybe Eret or Wilbur's family roped them into babysitting for the neighbors or their cousins. And if you don't want the age difference between the boys to be too great, you could also bump up Tommy and Tubbo's ages.

Making Wilbur and Eret a little older would also solve the problem of getting money to feed two extra people. Most jobs available to children aren't going to pay well, the older they are the better chances of getting even temporary work that can feed them, like farm work or running errands. Wilbur could be a street musician, but that's gonna have to be something he does on the side, it's not going to be enough to be a steady income.

These are just my ideas tho, you don't have to follow them if you don't want to! Sometimes realism can make a story more entertaining. Sometimes realism can get lengthy and unnecessary. Just because Victor Hugo wrote about the construction of the Parisian sewer system in detail, doesn't mean you have to (haven't read Les Miserables, just know that's something that is actually in the book).

I'll be tagging your AU "#🐦 Anon's Wilbur And Eret AU" and you're welcome to send more, but if you're feeling brave, you can also PM me, I don't mind :3

[palimpsessed]

So @captain-aralias​ did one of these and invited other writers to do the same. And I wasn't really going to because it feels a bit late now and also I've done quite a few other year in review posts for 2020. But then I got to thinking that it would be really nice to have one of these for each year to look back on and compare, which convinced me. So, here we go!

If you’re a writer, I’d also encourage you to steal this. Tag me on your post so I can see your thoughts! 🥰

List of Complete Fics for 2020 1. At the Top of a Tower, With You- General, 900 words 2. Use Your Words- Teen, 16k 3. A Man of Letters, or Five Times Baz Retreats and the One Time He Doesn’t- Teen, 54k 4. To the Manor Borne- Teen, 43k

Total: 4 fics, 113k words

Every one of these fics was written for an event, which, realistically, is the only reason they got finished. I have so many ideas I'm working on all at once, and I came into fandom with a focus on making art, so to actually find the motivation to sit down and write/finish/post a fic was entirely deadline based. And it's a technique I'm sure I will also employ in 2021.

Best/Worst Title?

Well, I've mentioned a few times before that I usually have a title before I have much in the way of a fic concept. I don't really dislike any of the my titles, because they all did exactly what I needed them to do, which was help me focus on what I wanted to accomplish in the fic. Comparatively speaking, though, I can answer this.

Best: Use Your Words - succinct, idiomatic, a book quote/motif that also has the potential to be a spell, does what it says on the tin, is probably what all of us are constantly yelling at Baz and Simon to do throughout the books and the fic itself

(Honorable mention to A Man of Letters because that title forms a perfect heart shape when viewed on mobile on AO3. ❤️)

Worst: At the Top of a Tower, With You - this is also a quote and it fits the fic perfectly, but it is a bit of a mouthful and it has a comma in the middle of it, which, while I love commas, feels a bit off-putting in terms of a title - also, it's always kind of bothered me that it's a Baz WS quote used for a CO-era Lucy POV

Best/worst summary?

Again, I don't really dislike any of my summaries.

Best:

To the Manor Borne: The gang decides to spend Christmas together at Pitch Manor. Romance, hijinks, and holiday cheer ensue.

Anything that lets me use the word hijinks is always good! - it's short and sweet - it does a fair job of setting up the premise for the fic and giving highlights, without giving anything away

Worst: A Man of Letters

I'm not going to include this one because it's so long, I had to cut down the version I posted on tumblr to fit in the AO3 field, which is really why I rank it below my others - it effectively sets up the world of Simon and Baz in Regency England prior to where the story starts, but it is prohibitively long - and it's set up, not summary, so it also loses points for not doing what it purports to do - I could have said exactly what this fic was in one sentence: "Simon and Baz meet at several Regency-appropriate venues over the course of a London season and reflect on their acquaintance in letters", but instead I did the full book jacket version because it was more interesting to me.

Best/Worst First Line?

Oh, this is interesting. I can honestly say that I have no idea where this will go. Going to pull up my docs and find out! Okay, since I only have four fics to consider, and I'm feeling split, I'm going to do two for each. I feel good about my words, but I will say that half of my first lines actually provide information, and the other half are incomplete thoughts. Those were stylistic decisions I made, but when taken alone, it does somewhat limit the effectivness of a sentence when it can't stand without the rest of the paragraph. Perhaps that decision will lure readers in for more?

Best:

In the end, we wind up at Pitch Manor. (To the Manor Borne)

I know that you won't be surprised when I tell you that I do not like writing letters. (A Man of Letters)

Kind of interesting that these both contain key words from the titles 🤔

Worst:

I'm not sure how I'm supposed to do this. (Use Your Words)

I love how the title seems to be answering Baz's question when the two are put together like this 😂

Strange that it should end here, where it all started. (At the Top of a Tower, With You)

The title also seems to complete the first line in this one, too. I'm learning about my writing as this goes on, so that's cool!

Best/Worst Last Line?

Hmm. Okay, again, no idea. Also, a little leery of including last lines for anyone who hasn't read the fics they're from yet. (Tho I guess it's unlikely those people would be reading this😆) But let's see what we've got.

Use Your Words and A Man of Letters have very similar final lines, and both are somewhat spoilery.

Best: The ending of A Man of Letters felt risky to me, in the way that it is formatted and changes tone from the rest of the story. It was something that happened as I wrote it and I loved it. I had no idea if readers would like it, if they would feel like it worked as an ending, but I felt strongly enough about it to let the entire fic hinge on that and I think it really paid off. So, without giving you the actual last line, which is only one word, I'm going to say that one is my best ending.

Worst:

To the Manor Borne: "Carry on, Simon."

It's not bad, it's just not mine.

Looking back, did you write more fics than you thought you would this year, fewer than you thought, or about what you predicted?

I did not set out to write any fics in 2020. I was supposed to be taking a break from writing. I've been an aspiring novelist for half my life now, and have been going through major ups and downs with my writing. I decided I needed to re-evaluate and figure out if writing was something that was even going to be able to make me happy anymore. The answer is: YES! Just…not original fiction. At the moment. I'm happiest when I can write for the sake of writing and not have to DO something with that writing. Which is why discovering fan fiction was AMAZING!!!! 🥰🥰🥰

To actually answer the question, yes, I wrote more than I thought I would. I also wrote exactly as much as I thought I would, simply because these were all things I signed up for (with the exception of my Countdown fic, but I committed to it as if it were something that required a sign up).

I have a lot more ideas for 2021, but I don't know how many of them will come to fruition. I'm not putting pressure on myself to have to do anything beyond what I sign up for again, because it did work out so well for me starting off.

What pairing/genre/fandom did you write that you would never have predicted last year?

I mean, the pairing and the fandom were in no way a surprise. 😆 They're my only ones, so those were both a given. The genre is also not surprising.

What's your favorite story this year? Not the most popular, but the one that makes you the happiest?

A Man of Letters, without any hesitation. I adore it so much. It's the kind of fic I know I will unabashedly sit down to read over and over, even if I'm the one who wrote it. I had one reader to please and it was ME. By far, my most self-indulgent fic.

Okay, NOW your most popular story?

That depends on the metric.

To the Manor Borne leads in Comments (107), Kudos (153), and Hits (1992), and Use Your Words leads in Bookmarks (26).

But since To the Manor Borne is top in 3 out of 4 metrics, I'll say that one.

Story most upderappreciated by the universe?

I mean, the least popular by a wide margin is At the Top of a Tower, With You, but I don't know if I'd call it underappreciated. It's short, it's angsty, it's got a very unusual style, it's Lucy POV, it's the first fic I wrote and posted. I didn't really go into it with high performance expectations. I'm proud of it, I just didn't expect it to be popular. It would be nice if more people read it, but I'm not broken up over it.

Story that could have been better?

I'm not even going to touch this one. Everything can always be improved upon, but if I go down that route, nothing will ever be done. This is one of the things I have come to appreciate about traditional art versus digital. With traditional, there is only so much you can do before something is permanent and you have to live with it. It's an exercise in letting go and acceptance. Digital is flashier and more flexible, but I could (and have) spend months on a single piece and never feel satisfied, never stop tweaking. I think that's also the reason I started to hate my novels.

Sexiest story?

Based purely on overall vibes, I find the understated tension of the Regency the most appealing, so I'm going to say A Man of Letters. I didn't actually stray into sex territory in any of my fics (though Simon and Baz have had sex by the time To the Manor Borne starts, and refer to it, and probably do it "offscreen"), but A Man of Letters is the one that feels sexiest to me. Lots of thirsting!Baz and feral!Simon and sensual hand touching (how risqué!) - and YEARNING. That, to me, is the sexiest vibe of all. So. Much. Yearning.

Saddest story?

At the Top of a Tower, With You - for this one, I tagged "angst without plot" and I stand by that. It's Lucy losing her connection to Simon at the end of CO and trying to find a way to reconcile herself to leaving him alone again. I gave it as much of a hopeful bent as I could, with the refrain of Baz's spoken "love" to cling to, but it's very sad.

Most fun?

To the Manor Borne - All of my fics have their fair share of angst, but this one also has some good, silly, holiday fluff thrown in. Since I wrote it for the Countdown, each chapter was based on a different prompt, which led to this one going in all sorts of directions no single fic probably ever should. Plus, it has the most Shepard, and Shepard always makes things more fun.

Story with the single sweetest moment?

Oh my god. I don't know. No, never mind. I do. It's To the Manor Borne, but it's split between the two gift giving scenes, the Constellations and Secret Santa/Gift Giving prompts. These were private moments between Simon and Baz, sharing themselves with each other, being vulnerable, and communicating. It's the gifts they give each other, yes, but it's more so the reasons they chose those gifts, and how they show part of themselves and share their love for each other, through those gifts, that had me in tears writing those two scenes. I'm super proud of them.

Hardest story to write?

Use Your Words - it was written for an exchange and that made it really hard to write it knowing there was this pressure of making my gift-ee happy with the fic. I'm proud of it, and they really liked it, but the anxiety was too much for me.

Easiest/most fun story to write?

A Man of Letters - if there is a fic better suited to me as a writer, I haven't met it. I started writing after reading Pride and Prejudice in high school, so I started out writing Regency and I spent years and years and years of my life obsessed. When I transferred into college, an administrator I had never met before heard my name during orientation and said, "Oh, you're the Austen scholar." (It is a small, private college, and I was a transfer, so the pool of students was even smaller. But still. Many years later, I'm clearly not over it.) I also did my senior thesis on an epistolary novel (Frances Burney’s Evelina), and my English Lit emphasis was for that time period. So, I felt like I had been preparing for this fic my entire adult life. 😂

Did any stories shift your perceptions of the characters?

I don't think so. I tend to let my writing be dictated by the characters, so I'm always following their lead. Sometimes they'll do or say something that surprises me and takes me down a route I didn't necessarily foresee, but I don't think there was ever a point where one of them did something that made me rethink who they are as a character.

Most overdue story?

I will say A Man of Letters, since that one felt like a culmination of my seventeen-year-old self's wildest writing dreams. But I should probably say the Scooby Doo AU I still haven't managed to finish, because that one has been a WIP since I joined the fandom. Oops. (I'm hoping when I look over this in a year, I can feel smug that it's finally done.)

Did you take any writing risks this year? What did you learn from them?

Writing at all was a risk for me! And writing fan fic for the very first time! Writing an entire fic told only through letters. And then ending it in a completely different style from the rest of the fic. Doing a multi-chaptered fic for the Countdown, using a different prompt for each chapter, and publishing a chapter every single day for thirty days (with the exception of two days that had art). Signing up for fandom events in the first place!

What I learned from taking risks in my writing is the same thing I learned when I took risks in my art this year. I have a much better appreciation for what I've done when I push myself, I feel better about the end product, and I like it longer. I think it's really good for me to challenge myself creatively.

This year's theme and the story that demonstrates it most?

Oh boy. Um. Therapy! Both Use Your Words and To the Manor Borne had their big HEA moments built around sending Simon and Baz to therapy. I don't think that's likely to change for future fics, either. I feel like therapy as the theme for 2020 seems very fitting. (Also, I think I keep sending the boys to therapy because I'm trying to get myself there…)

What are your fic writing goals for next year?

Just to write what I want to write, have fun, not put any pressure on myself, and to take risks in my writing and my art because it will help me to grow.

[sero-sphere]

Fucked Up Love ‘Triangle’

so, i started working on this thing back in april ( hence bakugous birthday and the cherry blossoms ) it just took me a while to edit it. srry

anyways, this is like so self indulgent but w.e, still figured id share!

(f reader x kami x sero, seroxmina) it aint a threesome tho

Word count: 3k

Warnings: Slight angst, finger banging, weed, idk im bad at tagging (also were saying everyone is aged up so y’all can relax. like you were so innocent in h.s)

You were currently huddled up on the hammock with your favorite blanket, as Kaminari gently pushed you back and forth. There was music playing in the background, and a video game that had long been forgotten still displayed on the T.V. It was Friday night, and as usual, you and your friends were all in Seros room smoking together. Bakugou, and Kirishima had already retired to their rooms for the night, so it left just you, Kaminari, Sero, and Mina. The relaxing atmosphere was abruptly interrupted by Mina, who jumped up and startled everyone.

"BITCH, don't forget we’re getting our nails done tomorrow! I'm going to head back to take off my nail polish so it’s easier for them. They always claim they don’t charge extra for that, but I swear I think they do.”

"Ok! Text me!!! I probably will need a wakeup call after tonight!"

"Oh, I bet you will!" Kaminari said with a giggle. 

 "Hush, I'll see you tomorrow cutie!" You said to Mina with a wink. You couldn’t even bat an eyelash before she was skipping down the hall, off to her room for the night.

 "Why don’t you call me cutie?" Kaminari said as he got off from his position on the floor, and motioned for Sero to slide over, so he could claim Mina’s old spot on the bed.

"Because dipshit seems to suit you…"

 "Well she’s not wrong" Sero added, laughing just as hard as you were.

 Kaminari leaned back and sighed. “Whatever, I won’t be such a dipshit after my next study sesh with Yaoyorozu….when was that again?”

 “Tomorrow morning……she literally just texted you like an hour ago to make sure you wouldn’t forget? You’re not helping your case man.” Sero replied as he lit up another blunt and passed it to Kaminari.

 “Oh fuck! You’re right dude. I’m good for tonight I guess, I should head back so that way I don’t oversleep tomorrow…I might not make it in time for tea.” Kaminari was sporting his best puppy dog eyes, and pout. He motioned for you to sit down on the bed, and take his spot. He took one last hit, before he passed it to you and left, ( peering around the corner for Aizawa first ) heading to his room for the night, leaving just you, and Sero behind. 

You were seated over by him on the bed at this point passing the blunt back and forth. Both of you completely zoned out in your own little worlds. Sero leaned over to grab his water that was on the floor beside you. At first you didn’t really notice how close he was, but as he leaned over you again to put it back, his eyes caught yours. His face was so close, moving closer and closer, until it was like the two of you were moving in slow motion. Your body was just moving on its own at this point, and the next thing you knew you were in the middle of a heated makeout session. His hands started to caress your thighs, and you could feel the ever growing situation happening between his legs, his jeans were growing tighter and tighter. Your mouths were still too preoccupied to speak, and your hands still wandered up and down his body. Your fingers moved from underneath his shirt, back towards the straining bulge in his pants. You felt as his fingers moved your panties to the side, and he started to stroke you.

“You’re already so wet….is this ok?”

 You barely managed to mumble back that yes, it was indeed ok, before his mouth was on you again, kissing your neck ever so slowly. You couldn’t tell if it was the weed, or if Sero was really that skilled because not too soon after he got to work, you could feel your body start to tense in pleasure. After you reached your peak you pulled away to speak.

“Thank you Sero…let me…” You reached for the zipper to his jeans when you were both interrupted by a knock on the door.

"Y/N, it's past curfew and I can already smell what you guys have been doing. Go to your room for the night please, and next time you want to indulge in these types of activities, make sure it’s after I've already made my rounds. I’m giving you both the benefit of the doubt by not expelling you.” 

 ------

The next morning you groaned as you heard your phone ringing. You forgot you told Mina you needed a wakeup call.

"Hey. Cutie...dream about me?" You answered as you rolled out of bed to get ready.

"Heh, maybe, you dream about me?"

Your eyes widened, and you pulled your phone away to make sure you heard correctly. The voice on the other end was definitely not Mina. 

"What...Kaminari?"

"Yeah! I figured I'd call and wake you up. You and Mina have a thing and I didn’t want you to oversleep...."

"Thanks! I’m glad you called. I’m assuming you got up in time to study today?" 

"Yup, bright and early! Oh, and Sero told me what happened last night, you got lucky… "

“Wait Sero told you what happened last night?” You were definitely confused. You hadn’t even had a chance to talk to him about it yet and he had already told Kaminari? With your luck the whole class knew by now.

“Yeah, he said you ended up staying for a while, and Aizwawa caught you two smoking while he was making his rounds.”

You were relieved, maybe he didn’t say anything about it after all. You decided to ask just to be sure. “Oh, yeah…that’s all he said?”

Kaminari giggled. “Mhmm, guess we’ll just have to make sure we have Bakubro’s birthday thing a little later tonight.”

"Oh fuck. I completely forgot about his birthday!"

“Well, I didn’t get him anything yet either. Wanna come with me after you have your nails done with Mina? We can get some ice cream from that place you like on the way back?”

"Are you trying to ask me out on a date Kaminari?"

“Maybe…”

 “Took you long enough...”

 ---

By the time you had made your way down stairs after getting ready Mina was already waiting for you.

“Jeez took you forever!” She gave you a once over before she licked her lips and chirped “Wow, you look cute, whose is all that for?” You shot her a look and bumped your hip into hers, as she grasped your arms, and you both made your way out of the dorms.

“Yeah, I uh…. I'm going out with Kaminari after this, I'm a shit friend and forgot it was Bakugous birthday.” She knew just by your lack of eye contact something more was up.

She decided to test the waters. “So Kaminari huh? I knew you liked him, you were low-key jealous when he asked Ibara out at the sports festival.”

“Uhm, I was not!!” By the blush on your cheeks you both knew you were full of shit. “But in the meantime I have a lot to tell you about last night…..”

“Oh yeah, I heard that Aizawa caught you and Sero. You’re lucky you’re not expelled, girl.”

 “Yeah. Well about that……”

You explained everything that had happened to Mina on your walk to the salon. There was a lot to tell. You were so confused. You really had never thought of Sero that way before. Honestly, you really did have a huge crush on Kaminari, but you were sick of him never asking you out. He would flirt with everyone all the time, you were no different, but he never actually asked you out before. You figured there was no way he actually meant it this time. You weren’t sure if it was all just a joke to him. 

Sero was hot adamantly, and clearly you didn’t regret what happened between the two of you, it was just that, even after all that, you still didn’t think you liked him...at least not in a romantic sort of way.

“I think I was just horny more than anything else..” 

Mina laughed. “Yeah, Seros weed has a tendency to do that. That’s how Bakugou and Kirishima finally got together after all…”

 ---

 You and Mina arrived back at the dorms just in time for Kaminaris' study session to be over. Mina caught you as you licked your lips, watching as Denki winked and headed over to greet you.

“Oh, girl, you got it bad...I'll leave you too it..”

“Mina, I swear I'm never going to tell you anything again!”

--

Your ‘date’ with Kaminari went well. He walked you to a nearby shopping center, stopping for drinks along the way, and you both successfully managed to find Bakugou something he wouldn't blow up. On the walk back, Kaminari insisted you both take the long route, which ended up being the best choice. It lead straight through a park where you just so happened to catch the last of the blooming cherry blossom trees.

“Oh, Kami! I’ve never seen the cherry blossoms before...this is amazing!!”

“I told you the extra mile would be worth it!”

With him paying for your drink, and the walk through the park, it was actually starting to feel like a real date. Before you got your hopes up, you decided to ask him. You wanted things to be cleared up between the two of you, so you could then figure out the whole Sero thing.

“Uhm, Kami...is this like…. a real date? I know you said it was, but I didn't know if you were joking or not…”

“I know I joke around alot, but this is real...I mean, it's real to me! Why would you think it wasn't?”

“I dont know, you've just never asked me out before...you've asked plenty of girls...just not me…”

“Yeah, I get it. With them it was easy… I didn't really care if they said no or not...with you, I was nervous….”

So Kaminari did indeed ask you on a real date? You tried to push the whole Sero thing to the back of your brain and forget about it for the time being. You were having a great time with your longtime crush and didn’t want to face the aftermath of last night quite yet.

---

That only worked for so long. As you and Kaminari made your way back into the dorms, you both rounded the corner and ran smack dab into Sero. Who looked like he had seen a ghost. Your memories came flooding back and you immediately glanced down at your feet, hoping Kaminari wouldn’t sense the awkwardness lingering in the air.

 "Hey dude, whats up?"

"Oh hey whats up?" Sero wouldn't even glance in your direction. He seemed to be ignoring you completely.

“Nothing, me and y/n  just went out and got Bakubro some sweet gifts for tonight!”

 “Oh...yeah I forgot about Bakugous birthday...I better go find him something...peace”  Sero chucked up the peace sign and fucked out of there faster than humanly possible.

 “Well that was awkward….I wonder what's up with him?”

 “Yeah I wonder” You managed to mumble back.

---

All night at the party Sero was actively trying to avoid you. All you two did was get a little touchy touchy...it's not like friends weren't allowed to do that or anything. Hell, you and Mina even kissed before. Even you and Kirishima. (maybe that was just on the cheek but still) At one point he went out to smoke on the balcony, you took that as your chance.

"Wow, so I must really be a terrible kisser huh? You've been avoiding me like I have covid or something?"

“Yeah sorry...it's just…” He was cut off by the sound of the sliding door opening.

Mina went to follow you out there, but realized Sero was out there, and turned right back around. He waited awhile to make sure there were going to no more interruptions before he continued.

“It’s just... that shouldn't have happened last night and I'm sorry.”

“It's OK. It’s not like I wasn't willing...you don't have to feel guilty or anything. We're friends Sero I don’t want this to change anything....” You moved closer, and he actually looked at you for the first time all night. You could tell he was feeling guilty about something.

 “That’s the thing...”

 “What's the thing?”

“That we’re friends....”

“Yeah and??”

“And....I have a "friend" who really likes you and I should have been a bro, and fucking respected that. Fuck.” Sero hung his head low, and put out his joint, glancing out into the night sky over the balcony.

“Oh....” The two of you stood there in awkward silence. “Yeah...is that friend Kaminari?”

Sero looked back at you “Maybe….”

 “Well I really like him too...we went out today, and I kinda realized he's even sweeter then I thought.”

 “Oh, then what about last night?” 

“Just because I like him doesn't mean I regret what happened.  Ya know? I can't take it back. I get why it sucks for us though....I didn't really think about what he would say if he found out.” Now it was your turn to sulk.

 “Yeah me either. I don't want to hurt his feelings, or break up the squad.”

The two of you were too wrapped up in your conversation to hear the door open this time. You both jumped when you heard another voice coming from behind you.

“Damn...break up the squad, this sound pretty serious!” It was Denki, as if right on queue, he joined you both outside.

With a quick glance to Sero, the two of you decided it would be best to tell him together. At first he just stood there silent.

 “Denki?” You waved your hand in front of him. With no immediate response, you thought you broke him, your heart fell right into your stomach.

 “You like me?....” He finally managed to mumble out.

“Uhm, yes...I went out on a date with you today didn’t I?”

“But, you also made out with Sero…”

“Uhm...Yes.” You dropped your head low, too afraid to look him in the eyes for this. 

“And he fingered you?” Denki took a step closer to you at this point.

“Mhmm….” You felt so stupid, right when Kaminari decided to finally ask you out, you had to go and do something dumb like hookup with his friend. You were utterly defeated. Until he stepped closer to you and grabbed your chin, making it so you were looking him in the eyes.

“OK.”

 “OK what??” You were confused.

He smiled, and moved a stray strand of hair from your face.“Just OK…” 

Sero decided to speak up. “Uhm Denki? I don't think that's a valid response bro..”

Kaminari turned back towards Sero while you still stood there silent, feeling like you were hit with Todorokis ice. 

“Well ok, it happened...You guys are just friends and I know you wouldn't try to date her or anything.  You like mina anyway…”

“Wait Sero...You like mina???” Hearing that broke you right out of your trance.

“Well now that the cats out of the bag….” Sero sighed.

“What a fucked up love triangle..” Denki muttered.

“More like a square but...” Sero seemed relieved.

You glanced over at Kaminari who seemed a little confused. You leaned in closer to him and whispered  “because they have four sides…”

It was like a lightbulb went off inside his head. “Yeah so, like you guys kissed, and finger banged. No big deal.”

 “You’re not mad?”

 “No...just as long as I get to do that tonight?” He smirked and  walked forward to wrap his arms around you in a hug. “ I just want my turn is all…”

You returned his hug, and shouted as Sero was about to go back inside and leave the two of you there alone.

“Wait!!!I have another problem?” 

Sero stopped. “What’s that?”

“I kinda already told Mina what we did...but she’s not dumb, she knew I liked Kaminari before i even realized it.”

“OK....” Kaminari chimed in, not following where this was going at all.

“OK, so now I know Sero likes her!....And she knows what we did, I don't want her to think he's like off limits or anything…”

 “Oh yeah fuck!” Sero stomped his foot to the ground in frustration.

 “Why is your weed too dank dude? Swear it makes everyone horny as fuck.”

 The two boys stood there smirking at each other while you actually put your brain to work. “Let me think…”

---

 After a few drinks you ran up to Mina. "Hey! So I don't want you to think I'm a total slut or anything… but..."

 "Never girl! You do you!...You and Sero " She stuck her tongue in her cheek and motioned with her hand to make it look like she was doing something else.

“Oh my god Mina! No! So that’s the thing….I like Kami…” 

“I fucking knew you did girl!”

“I told him that, and I told him about me and Sero and he's cool with it.”

 “Oh... So now you're going to get finger banged by sparky?” She took another sip of her drink and looked at you expectantly...she was not going easy on your love life huh?

“That's besides the point..” You joined her in taking another sip.

 “What is your point then chick?”

You decided to finish off your drink before answering her. “I'm not trying give you my seconds or anything... Cause I swear the whole me and Sero was like an unexpected thing....But…”

 “But what!?”

“But I've been told that Sero might have a thing for a certain someone…”

 “Who?”

“You! You dumb ass!”

 “Sero...He likes me?” Mina looked like Kaminari did when he overused his quirk. 

“Yeah! I hope you don't mind. I didn't know that when he had his tongue all up in me yesterday or I wouldn't have done it.”

She thought for a bit before whispering “This is one fucked up love triangle!” 

You just rolled your eyes and watched as she downed the rest of her drink and bounced up off the couch.

 "Where you off to?"

 "Uhm? Do you expect me to just sit here after what you told me? Imma go get me some tape face action!"

 You flopped to the couch laughing "Oh my god Miina...So you're not mad?"

 "You didn't know. Plus you're hot, can't say I wouldn't makeout with you."

 “I’d pay to watch that…” The two of you turned towards the voice that rudely interrupted you. 

“Mineta!! Go away!” You and Mina shouted in unison. 

 Yep this really was just one giant fucked up love “triangle”

[advernia]

hi hi!!! ( ´ ▽ ` )ﾉ mmm… i try not to expect something out of an unreleased route (bc most of the time i am horribly betrayed lmao) but there are loads of stuff i hope to see! forgive me for being rambly tho haha!  

mousse. i actually have no idea what to expect from his route but what i do know is that his current position as a diplomat bothers me in a lot of ways lmao! but anyway… naturally we should be getting details on why he left the red army in the first place, so maybe on that side i do wish we’d get more insight on the workings of the red army, i guess? not that i’m expecting something super detailed or anything (tho it would be great if cybird feeds us with details), but for starters, maybe something more concerning the chosen bloodline - for instance, how did it come to be that for the red army, those thirteen certain families are the only ones strictly allowed to fill in that one position in the chosen ranks??? do relatives or family branch members count??? additionally, is mousse the first case of someone stepping down / refusing to take over their designated rank??? i’d like to think that he isn’t, but then again i maybe wrong???

alternatively… maybe mousse’s route could fill in some bit of cradle lore too? lmao i mean he is a diplomat and alice is a ‘visitor’, so he’s the best suitor to fit in the role of a tour guide. maybe a little more idea on how cradle works as an actual country, bc god i can’t even imagine how it functions properly. who knows, maybe he actually knows about that abandoned building in the forbidden forest + why it’s there in the first place. maybe he can actually elaborate the background of the goddamn 500 year conflict. if he actually does, bless my soul.

on relationships… while mousse is neutral but a former red, i imagine we’ll be seeing more of the ra guys rather than the ba, maybe… that’s fine with me since i’m interested in learning more about his relationship with lancelot, and maybe how he interacts with kyle + edgar since we already have a general idea of how he is around jonah + zero. but since the neutral faction has increased now, i’d like it if most of his interactions would involve more of his fellow neutrals. they need more screentime.

and finally, romantically… man, that ‘love at first sight… or is it?’ bit on his profile really gets me. oh, i will be ridiculously happy if that whole ‘love at first sight’ thing is interpreted as just sheer interest on mousse’s part. he’s in love with the visitor from the land of reason, with alice the second who hails from the same land as the first alice. he’s in love with the thought of her, a person who lives in a world so different from his own…but has he ever seen alice the second as the woman she is, as another human being??? this is probably unlikely to happen as mousse doesn’t seem too cold as a character but OOOOHHHHH I’D LOVE TO HAVE A TWIST（○□○）

tl;dr: a focus on red army history / more expository stuff on cradle. a toss between mousse interacting with the ra + neutrals, preferrably more of the latter. if cybird pulls a surprising twist / interpretation on mousse’s ‘love at first sight’ for alice, then i will LIVE.

dean. for starters, i’d like a little more understanding on how the boarding school he works in operates haha… i get it’s open to all regardless of status (red/black, noble/commoner maybe?), but what type of school is it, is it a regular one or a military academy of sorts??? if it’s a military type, to what extent are the students trained - basic combat/magic or are there advanced classes or all that shebang??? from what age are you able to enroll in it??? who runs it??? probably someone from the neutral faction / government itself but seriously speaking, is this the only school available in cradle??? if you’re wondering why i think that, i just find it odd that two different factions that have been in constant conflict still send their kids to study in that one school where anyone and everyone is accepted… i’d imagine the red side isn’t so happy about this more than the black side is, but maaaybe it’s a government-mandated / treaty / pact thing??? tbh i’m still on the fence on those ideas since there’s a lot more questions that would arise from that but… yeah. just… details, pls _(:3」∠)_ oh, more bonus points if we get more info about the day everything went dark!

anyway… dean being a professor appears underwhelming but it’s pretty interesting to take into account that he probably trained all(?) of them army suitors so… personally i’d be interested if there’s your teacher vs. student(s) fight scenes lmao. preferrably with dean still able to hold his own. bonus points if he taunts his opponent in the process with words like ‘i see you’ve forgotten your fundamentals’ or something haha! even more bonus points if we get dean/alice fighting the forces of evil magic disciples together!!! oh, that would be so good.

it would be fun if dean’s the type to subtly poke his former students with their dark history past mistakes when he sees them / needs them to settle down or smth. maybe he has dirt on someone like luka (and no, it isn’t about him feeding birds on the rooftop lmao). maybe he’s the only one who can make sirius & lancelot feel nervous easily, holy shit. but again, as dean’s a neutral, i’d prefer his interactions to involve more of his fellow neutrals. especially dalim. though that might be a given considering their relationship. i will greatly appreciate seeing more of the tweedle twins dynamic. even more if it turns out that the main conflict/antagonist of their individual routes happens not to be amon, but their other half and it’s not because of alice. AHHHHHH ( ･ᴗ･̥̥̥ )

idk what dynamic they’re gonna shoot for with dean & alice, but i do hope it doesn’t give off your ‘teacher-student’ vibes aha…… considering how dean’s personality appears so far though, i’d like to think that a slow burn would be fitting for them…? maybe something similar to lancelot’s where the conflict is given more focus than the romance itself.

tl;dr: background on the school + the day everything went dark. teacher vs. student(s) fight scenes + dean/alice fighting duo. dean being lolz evulz to his former students. tweedle twins drama, bless. if dean/alice gives off the teacher-student dynamic, well… can’t say i didn’t see that coming.

dalim. oh boy, while i’m trying hard not to expect anything for now, i can’t help but pray for something good with dalim. i think he has the best potential among the new three since he’s only (or first) suitor in an actual antagonistic position - he knows it, he accepts it, and he’s still going with it. if cybird handwaves a redemption arc for him thru the flimsy power of kira-kira labu (or friendship), i will be very, very, very disappointed. seriously.

anyway, there’s a lot of question marks surrounding him that i want answered but of course, more dirt on the magic tower. perhaps whatever details about the tower that they failed to address in harr’s route they can add + elaborate here, though i really wouldn’t mind knowing more nitty gritty on the human experimentation bit. then there’s the matter about the regression magic he developed. though maybe all before that detailed stuff, maybe some background about how dalim came to be a magic disciple would be good. and how and why he manages a pub on the side. origin stories are a must.

not gonna lie though - i’m more interested in his social life, his relationship with amon the first priority. how long has he known amon, did he approach amon or was it the other way around, when did he start serving amon, do amon and he have similar goals, how ‘loyal’ is he to amon, was he already amon’s subordinate when amon killed his father, did he help amon kill his father, why does he even serve such a guy in the first place... yeah, all that and more. hopefully those are going to be addressed. then there’s dean... if dalim’s goals + ambitions are purely for the sake of his older twin, i’m gonna cry a river. even moreso if his determination is so strong that he still chooses dean over his kira-kira labu for alice. now if cybird really does pull that off, consider me IMPRESSED. HOT DAMN.

them aside, in general his relationship tree seems complicated... he has strained relationships with harr + zero + loki + oliver, though it seems that he and harr still can seem to hold ‘conversations’ with each other... lancelot + seth don’t like him... idk if he was already involved in the day everything went dark operation, but if he was then ray + fenrir would definitely knock him down... lmao that’s a lot of hostility there, and that’s as dalim. as dum, zero + ray + fenrir + oliver are still wary of him haha! well, i hope his interactions with the rest of the cast will fare better / some of those relationships may not be as strained as they seem???

and the romance... since dalim’s human experimentation is a step farther and darker than edgar’s history of murder, there is no way you are going to make me swallow the possibility that he could go down the same route and be pardoned by cradle through trial. or in any way going to be redeemed + forgiven / set free quickly. no, i won’t accept it either if amon does something similar to a claudius and suddenly decides to say that he pulled dalim along for the ride (rather, i’d be furious). ends i’ll accept are dalim himself demanding for or receiving proper judgement for his actions. the feelings between dalim and alice are there & acknowledged, sure, but sadly regardless of what ending they physically cannot be together.

too angsty??? maybe it is, since i personally feel that his situation has the potential to feel more... well, military/war-fitting than the other suitors. i’m not hoping for that scenario simply because i want that extreme angst + drama, but rather because it somehow doesn’t sit right with me that someone so goal-focused, someone who seems to have walked down the wrong path of his own volition, who stated himself that he isn’t human and won’t let ethics stand in his way (zero’s route), would allow himself to be easily forgiven for all that he had done. it’s like a disservice. believe me, i like redemption arcs. but for something severe like what dalim dabbled in for what seemed like years... redemption almost sounds too kind.

i hope whatever they have planned for dalim would appear reasonable and satisfying, both to how they will portray his character and to the plot of his route as a whole.

tl;dr: more magic tower info. his history with amon. tweedle twins drama, bless. more insight into his relationship tree. cybird, dalim/alice’s foe yay has potential, pls don’t mess it up.....

[yakocchi]

hello it is me i’m here to convince u to vote for one of these BMP events to be officially posted ON THE YOUTUBES in this Reprint Event Election they’re holding for the 10th Anniversary. oh my

The site for the event is here (click the little banner with Sieg and Kuon for the survey itself)

bc u see, there are a lot of events up where i’m like... why is this even eligible to vote for ( ´_ゝ｀) a lot of them have already been reprinted on LT/Party already and even a few were reprinted again on BMP2. the fuc i wanna see the events that haven’t reappeared ever

I’m probably gonna translate the routes of the event that will win... if i care about said event (´;◞౪◟;) this is my only form of bribery, forgive me

u should vote for one of the events behind the cut ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

So there’s 15 BMP1 events to choose from, but take it from me... only like maybe half of them are worth even looking at bc the rest have either been reprinted once or twice. either that, or they’re relatively older compared to some of the others in the roster and we should pick the shiny newer ones. imo 

the way they phrased it makes it sound like they just have all the code rotting in the back (which they do) and all the other events will once again be sent to the shadow realm when this is over. man i hope not, some of these haven’t seen the light of day in... like 4-5 years 

So these are the few events I personally will promote:

嘘つき片想い～プリンセスの桜涙～ The Lying, Unrequited Love // The Princess’s Sakura Tears

Routes: Original 6 Princes + Yakov + Zain (Theo Bonus Story) Recap: This event was a love triangle event where the routes consisted of the main character getting MC in the better ending and the alternate character the normal ending. This is your typical “muh pathos” event where you feel bad for the character that ends up having to watch his unrequited love (MC) go off with the other man. i mean granted, bmp1 never really had much emo events for the princes themselves. usually the angst was reserved for the butlers LOOOL

Why you should vote for it: For one, it has all the route characters as event routes. It even has a story with Theo (!!!) for the All Clear prize but idk if they’re gonna post that too The other reason is DRAMA bc the love triangles were like this:

bruh they did theo dirty like that, squaring him up with a grown ass man

素肌で感じるPrinceの愛❤～朝までシーツに包まれて～ The Prince’s Love, Feeling His Naked Skin // Wrapped Up in the Sheets Until Morning

Routes: Original 6 Princes + Yakov Recap: This event was the corresponding White Day event to the previous Valentine’s Day event (but that one isn’t eligible to vote for bc idk) anyway this one had an additional bath theme, aka most (all? the chibis were all bath related so) of them involve bathtime with ur boo and stuff. it’s less cute and more hot trust me look at these CGS THO:

here are the thumbnails for the ones i don’t have. lol voltage makes it pretty easy to find the image urls for some stuff so:

as i got these i realized these are in the artbook. bah but i’m too lazy to take it out and snap pics  Why you should vote for it: cuz it hot and has nekkid princes haha i am a simple girl 

“It’s because I heard your bold confession.”

執事とイケないジェラシーNight～愛のスパイスは独占欲❤～ A Naughty Jealousy Night with the Butler // The Spice of Love is Possessiveness

Routes: The 6 Butlers + Zain (Yuri Bonus Story) Recap: honestly back when i played bmp1 i just kinda napped through the butler events so i could get a cute skirt so you’re on your own here i do think i have CGs from this event... i just dunno which ones they are PERHAPS it is this one? i dont know it’s been so long well if not you can enjoy these i guess

Why you should vote for it: voltage: u can have one butler event, as a treat this is the only event with the butlers as route choices up for election. Honestly I would’ve much preferred the triad event set of “im getting married to my butler guy” but those have to all come together and it seems that the current BMP fandom is already pretty uninterested in the BMP1 butlers except Yuri so... rip. 

王子様のプロポーズ❤～キミにかける永遠の魔法～ The Prince’s Proposal // The Eternal Magic Cast on You

Routes: The 6 Princes + Yakov Recap: I’m pretty sure this was the 5th (and final) Anniversary Event for the princes. It was a glimpse into the future where the princes are now kings and stuff. ...It’s not as exciting as you’d think bc most of the routes just involve doing duties as a queen and how stressful that is. ah reality. in my fantasy country game. But still, it’s a unique theme for an event. I actually have all the routes for this lol, I’m just too lazy to crack that old zip open and go through the less interesting dialogue ( ´_ゝ｀) like the yakov route is her getting stressed out about having to lead the opening of Sanct Sybil’s new design school and even former-workaholic yakov is like “waifu why u gotta bring work into bed” and then the wil event was them having to plan an event together for some stuffy nobles or w/e and claude judges them (bc yea he cares but still) the whole way through. have we not suffered enough claude-terror for a decade

Why you should vote for it: This is the last Anniversary event BMP1 had, and it’s about them as kings. They have the 4th and 3rd Anniversary events also up to vote, but... that seems kind of backwards to vote for imo. I remember the 4th anniv one and it was... all right. that one was before yakov had a route tho so mc and him were only acquaintances zzz

so yea those are the events i would like to see posted. Thank u for readin my garbage!!

[coffeeandcalligraphy]

Animal Instinct + Dead Disco | Writing Update

Hey People of Earth!

We’re back with another Moth Work update because ya girl has finished two chapters and is here to spill all the tea! If you missed update one, and two, be sure to check them out before reading this one! I’ve been having a bit of cabin fever with this project lately which has made it difficult to really immerse myself into the project. But we’re almost at the 20k mark of this project which is wILD! I never imagined writing so much of this story (which was initially just a guilty pleasure) and I’m happy with how much I’ve learned about my characters just through this small detour in the series.

The first chapter I’ll be updating on is chapter four, ANIMAL INSTINCT. 

This chapter was a giant pain to finish! It had about 5000 revisions mid-draft, and I definitely feel like I had blinkers on when writing it. Because of that, I lost sight of the big picture and really got stuck on the little things, like the writing and overall quality of the project. This was not actually the purpose of Moth Work--it was supposed to be a dumping ground for whatever. However, in this chapter, I became really hyperfocused on all the small details I disliked which made drafting it a month-long process. I’ve now come to a slightly healthier place with quality in this draft, and found a middle ground between trash-dumping and nitpicking. 

What’s it about?

Animal Instinct is a major point of tension for Lonan and Harrison as their goals deviate. This chapter focuses heavily on the volatility of their relationship and highlights Lonan’s current irrational mental state. The title stems from this idea of calculated action for the sake of a single person’s benefit. 

The writing bit: 

I struggled to write this chapter quite a bit. It took me the majority of July to complete because of a major logic problem I kept running into. After struggling for a few days, I finally realized by fleshing out what I’d written initially, I could overwrite the logic problem. The solution took a lot of work/test scenes to figure out, but eventually I got it!

Excerpts:

I shared this excerpt before because it’s one of the only paragraphs I don’t mind in this chapter! I think the flow is a lil funky but I dig the concept! This outlines the last bits of the cabin, specifically Harrison’s final check around the perimeter. 

Around the corner, the back patio is static—like Anna and her son never stopped sitting there. Her bowl of avocado and Greek yogurt—the holistic remedy Emily said would make her glow like an angel—sits gummy and pestered with flies. One of Milo’s toys is wedged under the cheap lawn chair. It haunts him, seeing them while not seeing them, but he leaves everything like it is. Anna and her son will always remain on the patio, Anna with her cheekbones splayed for the moon, Milo babbling mildly about his father like he hasn’t made the connection. They’ve gone invisible.  

After this first scene, Harrison does some driving in the dark which gives me major book three vibes lol, and eventually pulls into a motel somewhere in Nevada. This route from Oregon to Boston makes no sense but I conveniently needed Lonan to end up in Vegas, so!! do it for Vegas!!

In the motel, Harrison meets Jeremiah, his potential new man lol. Harrison is focused on getting in and out of there as quickly as possible, but he’s like dang mans teeth are the straightest I ever did see (me too tho). Because he gets distracted, he fails to notice his car turn off, and only makes the connection after passing it a few times in the parking lot. He minorly paniques as he looks for Lonan, but eventually finds him around the building. 

The scene that follows gets volatile as heck, and really showcases how similar Lonan and Reeve are? Like dang that whole family tho? (Can I join?)

I’m not going to share much of this scene because she gets dramatic, but this is the wildest dialogue I’ve written in a while and I think I’m going to steal it and make Reeve say it because something like this would come out of her mouth:

“Do you feel that, Harrison? I could burn you with a cigarette and call it a wolf bite and nobody would know the difference.” 

sounds normal at first then NOPE

The next chapter (chapter 5) is called Dead Disco:

This chapter came together very quickly because I’d had it basically planned out, however, it veered into an emotional direction I wasn’t expecting. This chapter was supposed to be fun and lighthearted, and it ended up being... not that??  

What’s it about?

After the tragic drama that occurs in the previous chapter, Harrison wakes up the next morning to notice that Lonan has #left and #taken the car. This is v/ not good, but instead of getting super worked up he chooses to chill out at Jeremiah’s place and chill ft. some disco. I meant for it to be cute but Harrison ends up in a mental place I wasn’t expecting, so the chapter feels a bit “derealized” to me. After both Lonan and Harrison head out on their solo endeavors, they meet back up and this encounter ends *badly*. 

Playlist:

July 31st Rachel was feeling very enthusiastic about the playlist for this chapter (I was writing while listening to music) and wrote down a list of songs that describe the progression of this chapter (in order + all Nothing But Thieves because predictable!):

Holding Out For A Hero

Crazy

Afterlife

Hanging

Excuse Me

Forever & Ever More

You Know Me Too Well

I’m Not Made By Design

Amsterdam

Number 13

Itch

Hostage

BUT SHOUTOUT TO: Disco by Surf Curse

Probably the most accurate vibe here lol

Excerpts:

This first excerpt is Harrison angsting hard about missing his friends. I don’t *love* her but I don’t *hate* her! I tried revising it but it... flopped, so here’s the failed revision:

Lonan could say those words and it haunts him, how easily he taints him like a bad omen. There are so many things Emily would tell him to do to cleanse the bad magic, but Harrison recalls none of them properly. He remembers words like moon, and black walnut, and quartz crystal, and cardamom, but can’t think of what to do with any. He wishes he were like Foster, curious enough to carry around a pocket dictionary, or like his mother, clever enough to make something up on a whim. All Harrison can do is bury his face in his palms outside the restaurant and hope no one watches him. The main road bustles by and he wishes to be invisible, like Anna and her son. He wants his friends back. Foster could lull him to consciousness with a quiz on the different kinds of plants, which are edible, which are poisonous. Reeve would split a cigarette with him and scare him back to life with her driving. Emily will never speak to him but at least she’d cast a curse on him, and even that’s better than his nullified state of living. It’s disorienting, to feel asleep while awake. Harrison blinks hard, but everything feels the same—the buildings all shimmering, the people staring barely even people, everything derealized like it’s all been coated in REM. 

(tag urself i’m foster’s pocket dictionary)

This next excerpt outlines Harrison getting turnt with his new man and then getting philosophical? drunk Harrison be Aristotle and Madonna smushed together idk

Harrison knows he shouldn’t drink around a stranger but Jeremiah’s got a handmade bracelet and scribbly tattoos on his forearm so it’s hard not to trust him. Photo prints of hostels in Japan, statues in Europe, cathedrals in Paraguay decorate the walls in perfectly cut rectangles. Each is plumed with a dried flower and it reminds Harrison so much of Emily, he has to look away, back to the Lonan-coloured drink. He studies the shot glass like it isn’t transparent, the grooves around the perimeter, the engraving that reads Cancun 1987. He loses Jeremiah’s absent swish around him, and gets lost in the blue. The trifecta amazes him, how a colour as unnatural as this has manifested in Lonan’s eyes, his earring, this drink. He tips the glass back and finishes it in one go, and even though it’s strong and should taste like artificial blueberries, his mouth is tasteless and numb.

“You live here alone?” Harrison asks, raking his fingers through his hair. The apartment overlooks the strip across the street and Harrison gets lost in it, the artificial signs like bad advertising, the neons ill like influenza. When he looks toward Jeremiah again, his glass is refilled and he has to think hard to remember if he emptied it in the first place. 

This is where Harrison manages to make disco big sad + some lowkey salt at Lonan which is always! a! win!:

Together, they move in a trance, limber and manic. The glass in Harrison’s hand isn’t a weight—it’s a lifeline. The apartment blurs, and waves in slow motion. Harrison doesn’t hear the music or taste the drink; he feels nothing in the ground, and everything in his tongue. His hair swims in his face like Lonan’s, moving like he did in the water, careless in his forehead, his eyes. The pictures on the wall become the pictures in his bedroom, and the blinking doesn’t get rid of them. In his sidesteps with Jeremiah he sees him, in the glass, across the street, under a streetlamp. Taking his cigarettes, his light, his car, his mouth like a cannibal. 

To end this update, here’s some dialogue ft. savagery:

“You’re patronizing me.”

“You’re patronizing yourself.” 

A meme to accompany this lol:

So that’s it for this update! At the time of drafting most of this post (which was a few weeks ago), I wasn’t really feeling this project, however, after writing chapter 6 and switching POVs into Lonan’s head (where there’s lots of messy stuff to work with), I’ve been having a lot of fun!

I’m sorry updates have been slow on this blog--I’m in the process of moving so I’m getting busy, however, I hope to post at least one more update before I go off to school! Thanks for reading. :)

--Rachel

[blurhawaii]

Yuletide 2019

dear yuletide writer,

hello and happy yuletide! this is my fifth year taking part and my longest letter yet so i’m just going to jump right in. the suggestions are guidelines. if you’ve got a great idea, go for it. i only ask that you steer clear of my dislikes.

feel free to go through my tumblr for each of these fandoms. i should have tags for them, tho your mileage may vary. i might even have more stuff on my side blog: here. likes:

dysfunctional relationships eg. codependency, messed up father/son dynamics, enemies to lovers, power imbalances.

found family

big loyalty kink. love it when trust is earned and kept.

praise kink

vulnerability in men

open and honest communication between partners

i love ot3s. it’s the journey of them getting together and making it work that interests me the most. or how an established pair goes about bringing in a third person.

stories set in canon. or a divergence of canon.

dark/bleak fics. don’t be afraid to drag characters through the mud. happy endings are welcome but i like the struggle.

i’m fine with anything from gen to porn but would be happiest with something in the middle. i love first times.

canon typical violence is fine and to be expected from some of my choices of fandoms.

detective stories/film noir

magical realism/cosmic horror. weird hints of it in an otherwise normal universe

redemption arcs

characters and relationships are more important than plot for me

dislikes:

AUs that are completely disconnected from canon e.g. coffee shop AUs.

established relationships

crossovers

genderbending

feminisation of male characters

fics that are entirely fluff

A/B/O fics

PWP

mpreg 

scat/watersports

first person fics (i have no problem with second person fics tho if you think that could work. they really wow me when done well.)

The Departed (2006) *Billy Costigan             *Sean Dignam

one of my favourite films ever. i request it every year so you can't really go wrong with this as i am thirsty for anything. most of my love is for dignam and his tough love attitude towards his job and the undercovers he's responsible for. it's obvious he cares, i don't think you could do a job like that and not care, but those rare and few moments when he softens around billy --we need you, pal-- that's what i would like to see more of. i have written a couple of departed fics myself, centred around costigan/dignam, but in all honesty, i would be happy with anything involving them both. shipping is preferred but whatever you are comfortable with is fine. due to the nature of the film, i am perfectly comfortable with violence and the screwed up relationship they are bound to have. the friction born of the situation vs the fact that they need each other to get through this is what i am all about.

codependency, power imbalances and enemies to lovers tropes are abound here.

fics where billy lives are my usual go-to. the survivability of being shot in the head, that kind of stuff can be hand waved away in fic, and i'd love something that explores the angst of billy's ‘where the hell were you when i needed you’ reaction towards dignam following that ending.

or a canon divergence fic with their totally antagonistic relationship being front and centre. i just ask that there be an underlying level of affection, no matter how buried. when billy is undercover, there’s a special kind of relationship that comes with dignam and queenan being the only people he can talk to.

something i’ve never seen for this but would actually love: a time loop/groundhog day fic

Jurassic Park Original Trilogy (Movies)

*Sarah Harding                  *Ian Malcolm                  *Nick Van Owen

i originally wasn’t going to ask for this again this year (i was lucky enough to get treated with a fic a couple of years ago) but then someone other than myself nominated nick van owen which surprised and delighted me and i figured why the hell not.

my passion here is the ot3 potential. i view these three in the same way i view the trio in the first film, meaning i see them as three people who have bonded over a traumatic experience and come out of it forever linked in some way. they spend the entire film looking out for each other and keeping each other safe, and they all separately take care of ian’s daughter at one point and i am fascinated by this and how that could continue in the future. (in fact, i love stories where adults treat kids like adults, not talking down to them–see any shane black film.) i’m looking for an actual relationship between them but would be happy with anything that showcased a connection with every side of this triangle.

anything post-film with them dealing or not dealing with what happened would be amazing. there are quite a few fics based around this idea for the first film’s trio, i’d love to see something like that for these three. (i’ve always been kind of bitter about the way nick just disappears for the last act but ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ that’s what fics are for, i guess.)

i don’t like the jurassic world films but i’m fine with fics that take that future into account. a lot of the trauma for these characters comes from the idea that the parks still exist and continue to fuck people up.

Godless (TV 2017)

*Roy Goode                 *Bill McNue                 *Alice Fletcher

i’m a massive fan of westerns. the harsh way of life, the violence, the isolation, drawn out revenge plots, the murkiness of good vs evil or sheriff vs anti-hero, the importance of honour and heroism and how that differs for men and women, especially in this universe with its town full of widows. having said all that, i’m still very much a sucker for cool cowboys in a shallow female way.

as you’ve probably already gathered my favourite thing is turning every love triangle into an ot3. so i’d love a fic post canon where roy comes back after realising found family is just as important as real family despite frank’s influence. i imagine bill would try to do the gentlemanly/self depreciating thing of bowing out and letting roy and alice be together but i’d love for alice to actually get a say in this where she wasn’t allowed in the show. however you jigsaw them together my main thing is that bill doesn’t get left out.

i feel the roy/bill aspect in particular could be explored a lot more. i love that they don’t hate each on sight. they learn mutual respect and then smoothly move around each other during the gunfight at the end. (bill’s deteriorating eyesight side plot also fascinates me, how it goes with his loss of purpose -”losing his shadow”- and comes back when teaming up with roy to defend the town. maybe there’s a fic possibility where it flares up again due to his insecurity of roy coming between him and alice. either way, the hints of magical realism here and with frank’s repeated insistence that he’s seen his death and this ain’t it are great and i wouldn’t mind seeing more of that.)

the usual ideas of western masculinity get all twisted around when roy and bill are in the presence of alice and they both seem kind of subby towards her, which yes please. the way alice kisses the scar she gave roy and the fact that he simply lets her is *chef kiss* because i also love the parallel that bill got shot in the hip trying to get revenge for alice. they all have scars that tie them together.

i’m actually very okay with letting them be soft with each other after all of their tragedy.

honest communication between partners could work wonders here.

Barry (TV 2018)

*Barry Berkman                     *Monroe Fuches

i expected to like this show. dark comedy, depressed hitman, henry winkler, it’s a perfect combination of things. i didn’t expect to get obsessed with barry’s obvious fucked up father-figure hangups. but hey ho, i was pleasantly surprised.

pretty much every one of barry’s relationships in this show has an element of fucked-upness but the barry/fuches one is by far the worst. it’s codependent, it’s manipulative, it’s a little abusive, the power is constantly flip-flopping and most importantly there’s the father/son dynamic that could so easily tip over into something sexual. it’s everything i love. any time fuches calls barry “his boy” it kills me. and i am fascinated by the way barry can go from needy and touch starved to a rampaging killer hunting fuches down by the end and still have that dynamic going strong.

the parallels between them and the barry/gene cousineau relationship, which is fucked up too just in a very different way, are great. love the jealousy it brings and i would even be into a fic set post the season 2 ending, if you could find a way to swing that. though, while i like a little darkness, i would still rather see them fall back into old unhealthy habits than kill each other.

any kind of prequel fic would be amazing too.

and just to be clear i’m more than okay with a sexual relationship between these two but if you don’t want to write it that’s fine. I’d just like all the other aspects of their shitty relationship delved into.

L.A. Confidential (1997)

*Bud White                         *Ed Exley

pretty much all of my bullet pointed likes come into play here. i’ve nominated two characters but i’d be happy with almost any combination of the characters available in the tagset as long as exley is involved in some way.

ships i like: bud/exley,  exley/vincennes,  bud/exley/lynn

but if we matched purely on both bud and exley then:

i love the opposites attract partnership bud and exley have and i like that they both seem angry at their attraction to each other. hate-sex with reluctant feelings? always good. i'd love anything that deals with their perceived difference in intellect and/or education. bud being turned-on by exley's smarts, exley realizing how much he's underestimated bud, them being mutually impressed by each other.

if you choose to go down the ot3 route then:

i love fics where exley shows up in arizona and they fall into weird domesticity. i love seeing how three people--especially three people who aren't used to the idea of poly relationships--work their way towards realizing and accepting what they want.

and while i’m not sure what you could do with this knowledge, i’d just like to add that i’ve read the book and i’m somewhat obsessed with the existence of dream-a-dreamland in general. if you could incorporate that in any way i’d be hugely impressed.

POKEMON Detective Pikachu (2019)

*Harry Goodman                        *Hide Yoshida

this is totally a last minute request that i’ve edited in but is by no means less wanted than the others. i watched this film back when it came out and was honestly surprised by how much i enjoyed it. i’m a massive pokemon fan and have been since i got my pokemon red when i was seven years old and, let me tell you, getting to see all those growlithes waddling about the real world was like a childhood dream come true.

i had a good time and i moved on.

a few days ago i stumbled on a piece of art : here : and it was like the little goblin that is my brain just sat up straight. the very concept of these characters together had never crossed my mind before that but then suddenly the desire for this just casually strolled through my entire headspace, turning on every light as it went.

i love detective stories, i love cop partnerships, i love hot single dads who happen to be cops with cute little pokemon cop partners. i love that harry is kind of a shitty father but he’s now trying his best. i love that hide had nothing but praise and respect for harry when he meets with tim and that he knew things like tim wanting to be a pokemon trainer when he was younger (meaning he and harry had talked about stuff like this.) i love that hide inexplicably has a spare key to harry’s apartment in his desk drawer. i love how absolutely certain hide was in saying harry loved his son more than anything in the world.

there’s history there is what i’m saying, and i’d love to know more about it.

anything set pre-film would be cool. loose cannon harry throwing his whole being into his job to deal with the loss of his wife and his fractured relationship with his son. hide the tired lieutenant trying to rein him in, quietly talking about tim together, keeping him grounded and safe. all up until he can’t, that is. (great angst potential with hide genuinely believing harry is dead.)

anything set post-film would be even better. harry struggling to find balance between being a father and a cop. probably doing a shitty job at it in the beginning. hide trying to help. would love for tim to be an actual presence (outsider POV could be amazing here.)

may sound strange but my favourite thing that used to happen in digimon a lot is when characters would interact with each other digimon partner. i would be massively into a fic about the two of them growing closer through each other’s pokemon partner.

thank you writer and best of luck.

[pipchirisu]

Day 5 and last part of the playthrough!

I didn't get any megas 😭 (other than Omnimon who I think is moral route garanteed). My affinities weren't high enough maybe? Or is it not possible first time around? My highest affinity was Minoru at 49 followed by Saki at 46 and Aoi at 42. My lowest other than the fallen characters was Kaito at 28 who did not in fact go past champion. Ironic considering his whole shtick.

I liked the facing their shadow stuff just wish something came of that? I think reaching mega would have been great there. Especially with the megas being route dependent but looking forward to seeing how they do happen hopefully in the next run. The little hints each character had definitely makes me want to play again the only ones that felt weak were Kaito and Saki. It really feels like Kaito has nothing going on other than the protecting Miu thing. Meanwhile I know Saki has some kind of terminal illness so having her shadow not mention or hint at that felt weird. Not wanting people to hate/dislike her was a fine enough insecurity but not even a "you'll die soon and have lived a life where everyone hated you" to really dig at her? Again maybe it was an affinity thing. Maybe that is the mega section and I just didn't meet the requirements 🤷‍♂️

The ending was good! Don't love that the digimon stayed behind but it was very season 3 of them to leave them behind and have a promise to return. I really hope that promise is kept in one of the endings. The game finally using the word Digimon and having it be coined by the professor because of the social media aspect was really clever. The idea of the supernatural being kept alive through social media is actually really fascinating and they explained really well. Really brought their choice to not use the word digimon the entire time together.

Having finally finished one playthrough I can say the game was worth the wait and worth playing if your a digimon fan. It felt like going through an anime season but influencing the direction somewhat. However I can see why it's also kind of going under the radar :/ Which is unfortunate because Digimon needs the sales! I think they mentioned working on a more cyber slueth like game already tho so hope to see something from that soon! It should hopefully fair better than survive who I think will probably be more of a hidden gem cult classic down the line.

Character rankings based on this run:

Minoru/Falcomon (love a good shonen protag which he basically was and his mobility was great)

Saki/Floramon (very relatable from liking lopmon to finding veggiemon ugly and hints to what I still don't know! Having long range hits also helped)

Aoi/Labramon (being timid but being expected to lead is very relatable plus I like her design and digimon! Didn't love Cerbermon's close range style tho)

Shuuji/Lopmon( lopmon is my fave digimon so that one was a given but Shuuji gave me a lot to hate and a lot of drama and I loved hating him I guess? Gave me a lot to think about that the others I feel didn't so gotta give him at least this spot)

Kaito/Dracmon (He feels pretty one note but his dynamic with dracmon was interesting from the start and he was a good unit until he didn't get past champion...)

Miu/Syakomon (like the hints to some sort of incident and her parents hating her? But didn't get a lot out of her and as a unit annoyingly slow)

Ryo/Kunemon (was looking forward to a redemption arc before being rudely reminded this game had deaths in it lol Died to early for an opinion to form so looking forward to getting to know him)

Haru/Miyuki and Garurumon/Renamon were good liked the angst but not sure where to place them in comparison to the party characters. Above Ryo for sure I suppose. Compared to eachother I'd say I liked Miyuki/Renamon more both as characters and units. Sakuyamon was so good I prioritized bringing her on the team over everyone else lol

I also don't know where to place the Takuma/Agumon I have a hard time caring about MCs especially with games like this where I'm making choices. I think I'd like him more than your average goggles protag cuz he was on the less hotheaded side but he was fine. Like the little moments with Agumon especially when he was talking about taking selfies! That was really cute.

Final alignment was 42 moral 26 wrathful and 36 harmony

[jae-bummer]

A Man With Too Many Books

Request: Hi lovely! Can I get a namjoon scenario based on the lyrics by hello by nuest?? even tho they broke up he still comes and see her angst and maybe fluff ending?? thank u!!

Member: BTS Namjoon x Y/N

Type: Angst

LISTEN: Hello by NU’EST

Leaning your chin against the palm of your hand you looked blandly from the cash register and to the book that had been placed before you. With hesitant fingers, you slid your prints over the smooth ribbon wrapped around the bound pages and sighed. 

“Me Before You” the title stated boldly. The black letters shone out before you, causing you to swallow heavily, the small bit of saliva sinking to your stomach like a stone. 

Looking up to your coworker, you exchanged looks before he gave you a brief, but sympathetic smile. “Again?” 

“It’s in the post box and addressed to you,” he hummed. “Am I to assume it’s not a subscription service?” 

“No,” you sighed, letting your face fall into your hands. 

“...so should i start throwing them in the bin?” he winced. 

“I-I’m honestly not sure,” you said quietly, running your hand along the printed pages again. 

He knew you had a torrid past with your ex boyfriend. 

And he knew that was exactly who had been delivering you books near every month. 

What he didn’t know was that you read each book that had been bestowed upon you. 

From cover to cover. 

And fixated on every word. 

Because that’s what you did with books that Namjoon gave to you. That’s what you had done from the very beginning. Just because you had broken up, didn’t mean you hadn’t found value in his literary choices. 

“Y/N,” your coworker sighed, leaning against the counter as well. He tilted his head before smiling sadly at you again. “Have you talked to him?” 

“Who?” you said dumbly, sliding the book from before you and setting it out of sight. 

“Oh, is this the route you want to go?” he chuckled. 

“No,” you grumbled. “I haven’t talked to him...” 

“So why do you keep getting book deliveries from him?” he asked quietly. “From what I understand...you didn’t have the greatest separation.” 

And he was right. You didn’t have an amicable breakup. Namjoon, deep, emotional, and introspective, hadn’t always been the man you had expected him to be. He was passionate and loved with such ferocity, so you had never imagined that he could become weak, that he could become incapable of handling a long distance relationship. He had become so lost in his work, in his living, that he didn’t come up for air. You couldn’t breath in the same world that he had, you couldn’t handle his work driving him away from you. 

And when you finally decided to put yourself first, he had completely collapsed into a puddle of himself. Once things had ended, you hadn’t heard from him for months...

...until the books started. 

And you began to notice him everywhere. 

“Just because I haven’t talked to him...” you trailed. “Doesn’t mean I haven’t seen him...”

“What the hell does that mean?” he gasped. 

“This might sound crazy-”

“We’re past that,” he interrupted. “We’re on the crazy bus now and there are no scheduled stops.” 

“You know how...sometimes you think you see someone,” you continued quietly. “Out of the corner of your eye...on the subway platform as the train flies by, or in a shop window while your standing on the sidewalk...I feel like I see him...I feel like I see him during those times. When my guard is down and he’s the farthest thing from my mind. Like he’s watching me from afar...respecting me...protecting me...wondering how I am or what I’m doing...”

“While the way your describing it sounds endearing...that sounds like a problem,” he whispered, shaking his head. “Do you...do you still care about him?”

“Of course I do,” you sighed. “But I just can’t anymore.”

“Well, if you care...and you feel like you keep seeing him anyway, would it be such a bad idea to give him a call?” he asked. “I mean...the man is still taking time to send you books. That involves going to the post office..and paying for postage. That’s a lot of work for this generation.”

“Oh, look,” you gasped. “A customer just came in! Why don’t you go greet them?”

“Making me go away won’t make this situation go away,” he grinned, pushing himself from the counter.

You pushed away from the counter as well and stuck your tongue out at him. “Says you!”

Your thoughts were in a whirlwind as you continued your shift, your eyes consistently wandering back to the book you had attempted to hide from sight. 

“Me before you,” you whispered quietly as you slid the novel into your bag, ready to close for the night. You had successfully managed to avoid your coworker for the majority of your evening, only pausing for a moment as you began to lock up. 

You stood on the sidewalk, side by side, allowing the light, evening drizzle to tap lightly across your shoulders. 

“Think about what I said,” he sighed, pulling the keys from the lock. He tugged his jacket further up on his neck and nodded at you sternly. “Talking to him wouldn’t be the worst thing in the world.” 

“Correct,” you muttered. “Because that would mean it’s worse than this conversation.” 

“So stubborn,” he muttered. “Have a good night, Y/N.” 

“See you tomorrow.” 

Parting ways, you both stumbled in opposite directions. With the book Namjoon had given you securely tucked beneath the crook of your arm, you breathed a sigh of relief. You would be able to settle down soon in bed, and flip through the pages, allowing yourself a brief escape. 

A brief escape from the strange situation you had unknowingly put yourself in. 

Before the books had begun to arrive, the silence from Namjoon was deafening. Granted, you hadn’t exactly planned to become his best friend after you had broken up, but you had at least expected to hear from him on occasion. A clean break was selfishly something you hadn’t imagined, but it made sense. Sometimes it was easier to just let old wounds close. Reaching out would only make the residual emotions worse. That’s why after hearing nothing for so long, you were stumped when books began to steadily appear at your work place.

You knew they were from him. Who else would have sent them? As to why...you were still rather unsure. Namjoon had loved reading. It gave him inspiration, allowed him to explore new ideas, fostered his ability to learn. The only thing he loved nearly as much (besides music of course) was sharing that love with those he cared about. You were one of the lucky few he would loan books to with fervor (and also one of the few he could depend on to actually read them.) You were privileged in that way, and greatly enjoyed skimming the pages of his favorite novels. It would bring you that much closer to him. 

And maybe that was why you still read them. You ached for the closeness you had denied yourself. The closeness he had denied you. The closeness you still secretly yearned for, but were too embarrassed to seek. 

“Hey,” a deep voice echoed from nearby. Shaking you from your thoughts, you felt as you had been pushed into a fog. For a moment, your daydreams had stumbled into your reality. Surely thinking of your ex-boyfriend hadn’t summoned his voice in your head. 

“Nam...Namjoon?” you stuttered. Glancing up, you let out a shaky breath, meeting the man’s gaze you hadn’t seen in close to half of a year. Standing beneath a clear umbrella, he let the streetlights illuminate him from above, highlighting the shadows in his cheeks and underside of his jaw. He looked exactly the same as he had when you had broken his heart. 

“I’m sorry...did I scare you?” he asked quietly. 

“Well this wasn’t exactly expected...” you trailed, running a hand along the back of your neck. 

“I just...I needed to talk to you. We needed to talk,” he whispered. 

Grimacing, you nodded slowly. Quietly and contently recieving books from your ex-boyfriend every month was admittedly, creepy. You were a fool to think it would continue on without any sort of confrontation. 

Reaching out with nervous hands, Namjoon’s long fingers snaked around the fabric of your coat sleeve and pulled you in close. Protecting you from the rain with his umbrella, his body heat radiated toward you, making you overly aware of his sudden appearance. 

“You sent me a book today,” you said quietly, afraid to make eye contact. 

“I send you books a lot of days,” he chuckled softly, ducking his head to catch your attention. “I apologize If you were surprised by seeing me...but I’ve been trying to catch up with you for awhile now...” 

“Oh,” you struggled to verbalize. You hadn’t just been imagining seeing him after all... “So you’ve been checking up on me? Following me around? A phone call wouldn’t do?” 

“I’ve been selfish,” he whispered. “I’m a coward. I’ve wanted to see you, but have been too terrified to actually talk. I’ll get close...and then give up, too terrified to actually call out to you...if you saw me, what would you even say? That’s why I’ve been sending books...I don’t want you to stop thinking about me...I guess that’s selfish of me as well.” 

“Namjoon,” you said earnestly, finally chancing a glance at him. “This is not okay. We’ve broken up...I don’t know why you’re acting-“ 

“I know,” he sighed. “I know you’ve probably moved on...I’ve seen you with the man you work with and you look so much happier than you did with me in the end. Tell me...tell me you aren’t with him? I know I’m being abrasive...and self-centered...and odd, but please tell me...” 

“What?” you coughed. Catching his dark eyes in the light, you began to notice the deep blush spreading across his cheeks. “I have no interest in him...we...we aren’t together.” 

“Y/N,” he whispered, the rain growing steadier on the umbrella above the two of you. “I’ve wondered...I’ve wondered for weeks why I couldn’t be him. I can’t stop thinking about you...I wonder where you are...what you’re doing...If your safe...I can’t sleep...“ 

“But why so suddenly?” you asked, furrowing your brows. “That wasn’t your concern when we were together, Namjoon. That isn’t fair to decide now that you want to care.” 

“And I’ve told you I’m a coward,” he nodded, looking away from you again. “I find myself taking the road home that passes by your house. Shopping for books in hopes that the titles will make you want me again.” 

“A book can’t make me want you,” you whimpered. “Not when all I ever wanted was you to begin with.” 

“I know I’ve made mistakes,” he breathed. Finally looking at you again, he reached up with a hesitant hand and set it on your upper arm. His close proximity had become intoxicating. With every word his deep voice uttered, you seemed to grow more and more lost within him. “I don’t want to continue on with the biggest mistake I’ve ever made...not fighting for you...not loving you how you’ve deserved. I’ve never aspired to beg for something before...but at this point I’m willing...” 

You felt your throat begin to close, words becoming more and more difficult to speak as tears threatened to fall from your cheeks. “So you’ve sent books because you wanted me to think of you. And you’ve stayed away because you thought of me too much. This situation is driving me crazy, Namjoon, and I just want to feel sane again. If we’re going to break up, we need to break. No books. No days of you following me around. Only silence. Allow us both to heal...but...but if you say I’m tormenting you...if the thought of me and our relationship haunts you...and you want to make things right...you have to do it properly. You can’t push me aside again.” 

“Music is my first love,” he acknowledged. “But that doesn’t mean I have to love you any less. I just have to learn to balance. You are so incredibly important to me...I thought maybe...maybe you’d think I was insane for sending books...for keeping an eye on you-“ 

“Well, it’s not exactly the most comforting thought.” you admitted. “I don’t want you infatuated with me, I want to see you passionate about me...there is a difference. And what this is...right now...is a stark contrast from what we both need.” 

“And I know that,” he continued. “And I needed to get your attention and this was the only way I felt comfortable enough to go about it. I’m a creep and I’m a coward, but I love you, Y/N. With my whole heart. And I just want you to say you’ll give me a second chance” 

You tilted your head and chewed absently on your lip, searching Namjoon’s face for some sign of change, a visual representation of hope for the future. His eyes begged. His fingers clenched and unclenched around the fabric he held so desperately to. He was even more broken than the last time you had seen him, but he was trying to pick up the pieces. 

“I want you,” he whispered. “One person shouldn’t need another. Codependency is unhealthy and irresponsible in a relationship and I won’t say I do. I don’t need you, but I want you with every part of me. I want you so badly that it makes my bones ache and my heart feel as if it’s suffocating. I want you so terribly, but I don’t need you. You aren’t air and you aren’t water, but your one of life’s greatest pleasures and I’d be privileged if you wanted me too. If you decide I don’t deserve a second chance, I’ll live on, I’ll respect your decision, but I’ll reflect on my mistakes until I can’t reflect anymore. Just please...please say you want me too.” 

With trembling fingers, you lifted your palm, setting your fingertips on the edges of his cheek. Nuzzling into your hand, he took a deep breath in before letting out a stuttering breath. Looking at you cautiously, he waited in silence for your reply. 

“Do I still get books?” you whispered, a smile eating at the corner of your lips.

“As many as you request,” he croaked. 

“Will you still worry? Wonder about what trouble I’ve gotten myself into?” You continued. 

“Constantly, but I won’t have to wonder because I can just ask,” he answered. 

“And will you love me as completely as you promise? Allow me to respect your career, but also respect me in return?” 

“I swear it.” 

Waiting a moment, you allowed a few breaths to interchange between the two of you, both of your thought processes near audible with how much they were spinning 

“Then it looks like you’ve gotten yourself a second chance,” you finally managed. “But don’t expect a third.” 

“I won’t need it,” he smiled confidently. “After all, what would I be without you?”

The smirk you had been holding back now visibly tugged at your mouth as you stood on your tiptoes. Pressing your lips against his, you allowed him a kiss you had been holding in your heart for months, always intended for him, but just simply waiting. He kissed back with enthusiasm, expressing every feeling he had just verbalized with each tender touch. Snaking his free hand around your waist, he pulled you in as close as he could, careful to keep the umbrella shielding you from raindrops. He tasted just as you had remembered, mint with a hint of spice. Setting a spark of electricity down your throat and into your gut, his actions gave a rebirth to every emotion you had ever felt toward him. He cared so immensely and had intended on showing it to you with every little kiss. You pulled your lips from his and let a grin settle on the place where his love had just been pressed. 

“Well...without me...I guess you’d just be a man with too many books.”

[seenashwrite]

Nash Recaps The Back Half Of Season 12 - Part Two.

Pt. 1 / Pt. 2 / Pt. 3 / Pt. 4

[Note: these are lengthy & have lotsa images, just an FYI before you start]

Listen. I just....

Listen.

I had an atypical journey into this fandom, and I'm sticking with it because y'all are fun and so's the source material. As I've said, I'm but a pseudo-fan, I'm just crashing on your couches and eating up your good snacks. Not the saltines, the good snacks, the ones you thought you hid behind the coffee filters. And you've been more than kind. I feel like calling myself a "fan" would be as if I called myself a chef merely because I make a chili that's caused grown men to weep. #true story  It's insulting to your passion, your participation, and I'd rather walk on my lips than shit on your joy.

So if [when] I get cranky at what the more recent contributors do to the foundation that the very adept Kripke - and the other early writers, like Gamble, and early influencers, like Manners - laid.... well, that's why. I suspect my lack of investment in the other SPN aspects kinda frees me up to go balls-to-the-walls on these recap-review-snark-a-palooza-thingies, which involves insta-crankiness with regard to the season in question. Season 11's arc was thin, and made me irritable. Season 12's disjointed, unfocused nature has made me sneery.

I can be a real nasty bitch, is what I'm getting at. But hopefully a mildly entertaining one. I'd still classify this as terlit readin'.

I write these in real time as I'm watching the eps and it'll be noted if I do a "Backtrack ETA" to note if I was wrong. I made actual effort on grammar and punctuation this time, woo-hoo! There's still shitty screencaps to complement any exuberance, and always always always The *Look* Of The Episode. Like last time, I've given them the titles I want them to have. I'm still throwing out bizarre hashtags. And much like Dean licking his lips for no reason and Sam flexing his pecs for no reason, I've started randomly awarding and taking away nonexistent points for no reason. There's zero payoff because I'm not tallying them.

SEE HOW FUN THIS IS GONNA BE, YOU CAN'T WAIT WITH A LEAD-IN LIKE THAT

Just two eps, we'll have to have a third installment because, um, I kinda maybe went off the rails. I am of the verbose when it comes to my palpable disdain for showrunner Dabb, I go at him hard. But! In the spirit of constructive criticism, I have given alternative suggestions to improve several things I point out as having needed a second look in a classy, mature, perfectly calm manner.

12.19 - "Ain't No Bars In Heaven"

I have zero memory of who this angel is [what did Cas just mumble-call him? Lemon? what did he say?], why he's here, why they sandboxed. I *had* wondered what was up with the persistent Dean calls to Cas over the past bazillion eps,  but clearly couldn't be bothered to check. Eh. Still ain't checkin'.

But a Joshua mention. I dig it. I reeeeeeally liked that character, touch of mystery there, him being a conduit to all points, so to speak, and the actor played it nice n' cool. So, okay, props to the road so blah blah biscuits for reminding me of this. #20 points

Loss of points for being too long a road #minus 20

We're off to a rip-roaring start, folks.

Deep Thoughts by Jack Handey, I MEAN Jack-Kelly, and nobody caaaaaaaares, you seem to be a decent actress [chewin' some scenery during your tenure here, tho, sugarsnacks], but this is a pitiable throw-a-way character who wasn't developed at all, ergo she can live or die, I ain't feelin' it regardless, and I HAVE TOO MUCH IN MY BRAIN BECAUSE THEY CRAMMED TOO MUCH IN THIS SEASON TO DO ANY OF IT WELL. DABB.

DAAAAAAABB.

Hey, y'all didn't get a shot of the underside of the bathtub, all those other angles covering most of the square inches, yeah, but because you didn't get alllll the angles, this was super-vague, and I'm a dumbass who can't manage to understand what's happening without copious visual anvils. #minus 1000 points All thousand are for this Kelly segment being at the top of the ep + how shittily it was done, and since I had to sit through all that, Imma do some elaboration of my own.

I mean christ on a cracker, what show other than sloggy teen angst dramas or something on a cable channel that probably features lotsa gun violence and rapey dudes and an 80/20 male/female character split and stars Claire Danes and/or Rachel Evan Wood - TOTAL DOWNERS is what I'm saying - would kick it off with an audience-witnessed suicide? A bloody suicide?  It was established she was going to take a bath; so show her walking slowly, tears running down her cheeks, towards the tub, sharp implement of props'/director's/writers' choosing in her hand. Done and done, to the pew-pew-whoosh opening thingy we fly!

I can't even recall the last network detective/cop/legal/whatever show that started out with something that heavy and graphic and lengthy, sweet little babby jeebus, THE LENGTH of it, and - again, I point out - covering every fucking angle of the bathtub, the V8 water, her drippy wrist. Even "L&O:SVU" doesn't have heavy, long, close-up-on-face as they crumble within cold opens that could be considered graphic, and if they do, they're fucking few and far between, and I know this because I've been off work for a couple years now and I keep this shit marathoning in the background whilst I do other shit. Like this.

There may be screaming and someone runs in and finds a shaking victim that's got a black eye, or a bloater that a fisherman hooked and is now bobbing in the water, but it's all kinda quick and nebulous, and you know what? YOU KNOW WHAT, DABB? Those viewers know going in that there's a chance of seeing some such, because it's called farging "SEXUAL VICTIMS UNIT".  And even THEN, they'll sometimes slap warnings before anything starts. Was there a warning on y'all's broadcast? Sure as shit wasn't on the one I watched.

This pissed me off, and I ain't ever had even a touch of a suicidal thought myself, ergo I haven't tried it, but I can empathize because I'm not a sociopath, nor am I moron [waves at the peeps behind this ep - you! Yeah, you! You're morons! Hiya!], and I can't fathom how folks who have had those thoughts/attempted, or folks who haven't but have had a loved one off themselves via wrist cut (or otherwise, but particularly this method) reacted to that - AGAIN - leeeeeeeengthy walkthrough down their memory lanes, and in the cold open. And on a show who has a lead that is a known proponent of mental healthcare, not giving up and choosing suicide, I mean, "always keep fighting", amirite?

This ain't no snowflake complaint. I've no issue with having Kelly try to kill herself, as from a storyline perspective it was indeed an ideal way to show Jack's power and push her into seeing the situation through to the end, and also to show that even as a fetus he has the ability to resurrect, and is - shocker! - a good foreshadowing of his resurrection of Cas [yeah, yeah, I know, Cosmic Entity, whatevs - Lil’ Pencil played a part, and yeah, yeah, I know, he couldn’t do fuck-all for the person he whiffed and killed in the Tombstone thingy, but I’ll bet money right now, once he gets his shit together, he’s gonna be raising folks]. 

I take umbrage - as I do with other deaths they've executed in a shite manner, particularly the women, naturally - with how they motherfucking did it. Fucking irresponsible and inexcusable. And I'm side-eyeing the director, too, they helmed this ship, they own what the editors kicked out.  #minus another 1000 points #and I think I'm going light

Moving on.

Nice, Sam kickin' some research like a bawwwss.... Wait.

Waaaait.

What in the name of our goddess and savior Britney Spears is this music!?

Bwah-ha-hahahahahahahahahaha. #minus 400 points #you kept 100 because of  #that shampoo commercial dramatic turn #from the card catalog and besides #we just got a whole montage dedicated to THE LORE!

Dean being an annoying douchecanoe to Cas is annoying, but does give us The *Look* Of The Episode:

#Sam is a doll #Sam has been a doll the past handfuls of eps #lying little mama issues shitbird  #still #10 points for dollness

Yeah, this scene is going too long. I know they're doing it to lay a Dean-feels-guilty foundation [seeing as how Dean never feels guilty #eye roll], because Cas is gonna eat it soon [sure, I believed it would stick, no I didn't nobody did, DABB] in the finale but it's --- oooh Amanda Tapping! #my adderall is wearing off

Wait, so was the Joshua thing a snipe hunt or is this another lie from Cas because he wants to do things on his own because just like Sam being a lying liar, so is Cas, CAN THEY LEAVE THIS SHTICK ALONE holy Moses this is bush league. [S-see.... see what I d-did, there? ::snicker::: Moses? Bush? pffffttt.... #my wine's kicking in]

So if the Joshua thing was a snipe hunt, then.... then.....

---> Backtrack ETA:  I am now aware I get my answer forthwith, and big shock, I get pissier #nobody's surprised <---

Dean's top tr.... wha?.... I don't.... The fuck did this come from? Did he give Cas that tape at some point pre-sandboxing?

[goes to look it up]

[need Mtn Dew first; now distracted by that hella tasty leftover chicken; shoos dogs acting like they've never been fed, like, *ever*]

[glances at TV; oooh SVU's got a good episode on, one whose cold open was succinct and not graphic; hopes to one day magically look like Mariska Hargitay; thinks on how Olivia Benson is a such a fantastically well-done female character, and has been from the jump]

I was en route to do something wasn't I.... yeah yeah rando non-sequitur mix tape. TO THE WIKI!

Answer: NO.

DAAAAABB.

And if I'm wrong about this, feel free to drop me a line, because there endeth my research, I don't know what other search terms to use, so if y'all either (a) recall it or (b) wanna do a deep dive with "cassette" and just singular "tape", well, godspeed, fare thee well and whatnots.

But assuming this was the bizarro out-of-nowhere thing I'm taking it as: was it perhaps a deleted scene in a past ep and nobody in the writers' room remembered? And so they ref'd it here for.... reasons? Did they need an excuse for Dean's best friend to follow after him beyond apologies/explanation? I mean christ on a cracker, bring him a beer if you absolutely needed a prop.

[Time out for a side note, RE: the incessant postings about this that floated about ad nauseum regarding this nonsensical blip of scene.

Those annoyed me, and not because of the Destiel element, I couldn't care less about that. It was the misinformation. Allow me to drop the following factoids: (1) making a mix for someone is not/was not exclusively a romantic gesture, (2) we all had plenty of mixed tapes that we'd made of our fave songs from one particular artist lying around so the assumption it was "made special" is illogical unless this was specifically noted in some mystery deleted scene - which, again, if I'm wrong I'll happily retract - and (3) making 'em wasn't some Herculean time-suck effort, despite what you may've heard if you are not of the age to have participated in this endeavor.

I mean, I just don't.... were those peeps using dictaphones or phonographs or something? Hand-rewinding with pencils? You're punching buttons and hanging out by ye olde boom box whilst reading a Jonathan Taylor Thomas-covered Teen Beat and listening for the approach of the end of the song. The thing that took time was getting your playlist sorted so you didn't use up all the space..... which is the same with burning a CD..... and popping digital files onto the device/drive of your choice..... it ain't some bottomless well of space on any of 'em, you gotta get your shit tight. Them's the facts. Should this apply to someone reading, sorry you were misinformed, and certainly it's up to you whether or not you take my word for it. Y'know, you do you. Time in.]

Everything Cas says is accurate. And PS, RE: could either of them kill an innocent, albeit an innocent tied to a situation wherein he is set up to have huge-ass odds of going dark side? Well, Dean sure as shit can, Cas, might I remind you of that time you got your ass handed to you after he gunned down a teenage boy in the middle of the living room [which is what I call the library because they do most all their living there, as nobody's bothered to turn one of the 80,000 rooms into a lil' TV nook]? But hey, if you need a refresher, hold on, I've got the Stynes' new digits somewhere around here, as they long ago moved out of the Amityville Horror, understandably.  #sigh

SEE? He'd like a beer. Shit, I'm good.  #not humbly

Of course he wouldn't let you die ya dumb bitch, that's a autonomic self-protection mechanism, you die and he dies. [sigh part deux] Alright, alright. I'm being needlessly critical. She's stressed. And going a touch glazed-over nutter butters by the looks of it.

Dagon, maybe have her on some 'ludes with the folic acid, yeah? Mama needs a good long nap.  Or get some Djinn juice, let her have some trippy dreams.

Remember Gadreel?  REMEMBER GADREEL?! I just love it when two characters discuss something that they both full well know the whole scoop behind. #exposition anvil #I don't care how brief it was #minus 100 points  

But oh, I am pleased. OHHHH am I pleased, and surprised, fuck my face, finally. They have finally pronounced Gadreel's name correctly. Maybe not all of them pronounced it wrong, I ain't gonna go back and watch, but enough did that it worked my nerves at the time of my viewing. I have had this card in the CASPN side deck of Nashisms since god was a boy, and it now can happily journey on to the S12 deck:

So #500 points, because this benefits me/my anal-retentive nature directly as accuracy turns my crank

YES DAGON PREACH, COUSIN OLIVER SAVED HIMSELF. A voice of reason. You're awesome. You die soon, right? Because you're awesome. That's why you're gonna die. We can't have witty things.

Ah, okay - since angels need guns. This Colt thing.... I appreciate it isn't/wasn't/hasn't been a Chekov, I do, but it's.... it's never been fleshed out. What this gunmaker did besides etchings, what specifically makes it effective on certain higher echelon creatures. I don't need a novel, just a shot of reasoning I can pound back. And I've researched this for my story, never have come up with anything robust. Plus most of the etchings, wardings, all that stuff on the show, have been six of one, half dozen the other so... so... so.... I have no end to this sentence. [Minor spoiler for my story: Ol' Nashie's take is it ain't the gun, it's the user. It's only as special for the killing-of-certain-things as the person holding it, a symbiotic sort-of jam.]

Grrrrr, this shoooooow..... Why are they not just appearing? Cas, fine, he's on the fritz, but why are they sneaking in?  Do they have power issues, too? The sandbox works, but they.... don't? But Joshua still has plenty o' juice? I have no memory of why this is. I find myself confused and not caring all at once.

Hi there, waste of bullet #1. Don't try to bind her or something with.... whatever.... first. #whatever

Man, I love this chick.

Did they get new graphics peeps? I already mentioned the nicely done crackle with pop of lightning-esque bolts and color on the through-and-through to goat god in last recap round-up, and this looks great too. Touch of red glow, nicely blended cloud puffs. There's some blood splatter in the finale that I clearly remember made me snort loudly, but whoever's doing the poofs and the glows now-a-days is knocking it out of the park.

I wonder if somebody finally laid into the network about how all their other shows get killer effects, and their anchor doesn't/hasn't. I cringe thinking of how godawful the smoky cloudies were for Amara. Y'know. The Darkness. It was her deal. It was the THING. And while the initial sky fart plumed up nice and frothy, as it went on it looked like supes-great quality smokebombs purchased from a very reputable dude selling fireworks out of the trunk of his 1988 'Stang on the side of the dirt road just before the turn-off to Maw-Maw's house. So yeah, good for them if they demanded more of a graphics budget, whatever happened it shows. #250 points #now go full-court press #on Emmy and/or GG campaigns #for Ackles #way overdue  

I've digressed. Back to Barney, Gomer, and Goober on their well-thought-out ingress..... welp, that's done.

Quit playing Castiel's outgoing message. It stopped being cute after the first time. There's no need - just have Sam hang up and sigh, then Dean's all "Lemme guess, no answer" - see how easy that was?

I've legit always felt for Cas, he so wants to be a good angel and also a good guardian/friend to the guys. It's a solid, well-reasoned internal conflict to have. Thank you, Kripke & co.

Lucifer scream?  #6660 motherfucking points #good shit

And then, almost breathlessly ---> "Or lift it to its feet"

Poorly-delivered processed cheese on the field. #minus 10 points #5 yard penalty

See ya, pretty cool angel, woulda been great to keep you around for a bit, you're a good actor.

How long have Cas' powers been for shit? Seriously. I sincerely have zero memory of when/how/why. Tell me so I don't have to look it up. I remember fucking forever ago times when it's been sketch, last one that's clear in my memory was the Hannah-and-Cas-go-a-travellin'. In my story that's set in the future, other than blip-mentioning his back-and-forths power-wise for context when topical whilst referencing the past [S1 - present day is my story's past], he's aces, because I'm tiiiiiired of said back-and-forth garbage. I lowered the hammer so as to focus on to a better storyline for him, and haven't thought about it since. #Nash gives Cas some forths #as the backs are way played-out #and forths that are about *him* #not via possession by something/someone else

This speech to Kelly coulda gone intolerable quick, is very nicely done by Misha. He's quite a proficient actor, they don't give him fuck all to do of late, so this is great to see. #500 points

"She's difficult to kill, okay?!" --> Pffffttttt

"You're not our babysitter, that's not your job." --->  Um, yes. It is.

More than that, it's his mission. Do you still not have your brain wrapped around what a badass he was in heaven, how elite he was, to be given the assignment of, um, you, that it's the last thing the heavenly host trusted him with, how crucial it was that you be saved, that it was seven minutes to midnight, as it were, and that he 360-no-scope-clutched it?  

And it's "guardian", "watcher" would be an acceptable substitute, but not "babysitter", you ingrate. Which he's done right more often than not, poor methodology in getting there notwithstanding.  #fuck that noise  #I wish he'd lay into Dean  #like he did that one time  #y'know, that one timein the alley  #the pussification of Cas  #has officially passed its prime

Why does being inside walls make Sam think they're safe from being seen by a Prince[ss] of Hell? [that's, um, what Dagon was called, right? oh, what-farging-ever] Versus being in a parking lot? Or in a car? Anywhere but - I guess? - that bunker whose on-off protection has never been explained? Which I had to deal with in my story? #minus 100 points for spite #because I have to write for gappy shit like that #whilst not retconning canon #although.....  #have 300 points back #because that gap ended up #quite nicely filled #humbly #my putty don't crack, yo

She nicked the car. SHE IS STEALING THE IMPALA and tearing ass outta there. This. Is. Fantastic. #20 points Buuuuut..... needed reverse shot for some reaction *looks* from Dean and Sam. #minus 20 points

Dean isn't working on the engine whilst wearing a t-shirt to showcase greasy biceps in this scene. #minus 1000 points #lucky it's not 10K

See?!?! Y'all, I'm serious. It is seared in my brain because it was so, so incredibly distracting, how garbage the greenscreenage/effects were in the Amara arc, but go back and look if it ain't seared into yours, the difference in quality is *startling*.

[The big jobs, that is, not the ribbons of demon ejaculation, those haven't ever struck me as bad. And the flashing bursting stuff, never been an issue there; early eyes looked a little wonky, but that was due to contacts; I chalk most early stuff up to how much computers have improved over the past decade. Still stand by my criticism of specifically the graphics during the Amara arc - which was not but a couple of years ago - having zero excuses. And don't get me started on the ill-fitting bra and poorly tailored lame-ass black dress they had that absolutely lovely woman wearing the Whole. Fucking. Time. #minus 800 points carryover because Season 11 has followed me and caused me to digress. Again.]

Oof. Joshua. So he was ultimately a red herring, and a stinky, bottom-of-the-net one at that, one that got hocked up by a whale amidst the semi-digested detritus formerly known as his family, his beloved school, playmates he'd known since they were but caviar droplets, and he was so very weak, slogging along the ocean's gritty bed, fighting against his belly which was desperate to turn skyward, yearning to bob, when the shadow of the trawler appeared above him, heralding his doom, and the netting gripped him, Death's thin, cold, cutting fingers, though the ruby-tinted finwad took brief respite in the sunlight slicing through the waves, a shot of glistening shimmer, like the glittered scales of a mermaid, this touch of Poseidon's magic, just for him, before everything went dark, and tiny gills silently fluttered for the last time. . . . . . . . . .

Tell you what.

#minus 900 points #for wasting our time #and icing an interesting, already-established character #that coulda been kept in the pocket #for potential further use #DABB you dolt #you coulda just had them say they were #Joshua's emissary sent to fetch Cas and Kel #and you know #tell you what #AGAIN #minus another 100 points #because you suck it as a showrunner so goddamned hard DABB

But Dagon. Lurve. Pre-emptive peace-out, you badass bitch.

CALVIN! His name is Calvin. Well, was.  #R.I.P. Lemondrop

Ooof.... okay, I like Dagon's snark, but somebody went bananas with the slang from her in this ep.... ex: "adorbs", "jay-kay" [y'know, "J/K" phonetically] #minus 50 points for being try-hards

"You stay away from her!" ---> Pffffttt.  No. No. Noooooo. Staaaaahhhhp with the lines just to have lines. More badass to glower silently and take a step to the side and put yourself between the danger and the dangeree. #minus 30 points #but 100 points to Misha only #because he's having to deal with this shittastic basic bull

Sam looks at gun, palpably confused; yes, punkin', they run outta bullets. #the fuck #not the running out #that's actually refreshing to see in TV/movies #I mean the surprise  #wha  

I thought maybe.... had Dagon jammed it? But I ran it back, I didn't see her flourish or whatnot specifically at him. And he popped another cartridge right in, no prob.... I don't.... was there a cut flourish? I mean whoever's editing this clearly went to the Michael Bay School Of Way Too Many Cuts In A Given Sequence So The Audience Hopefully Has A Collective Seizure And Doesn't Notice We Whiffed The Blocking And/Or Stunt Choreography And/Or Effects, buuuuut..... nobody picked up on the inexplicable jammin'-Sam double-play? #minus 10 points

And that was a radius-ulna double-play with bonus dislocated elbow for Dean, and if it isn't meant to be a compound fracture, theeeen.... #minus 100 points to sound dept. for over-blown cracking sound #points returned if he at any time #in the next 10 seconds #gets tearful and grips his arm #which should be hanging #limp and useless

[.....10 seconds.....]

#minus 100 points

---> Backtrack ETA: Dean is holding his arm later, Cas heals, blah-di-blah; does not appear to be a compound fracture, however; oh fine.  #100 points returned slightly begrudgingly <---

Stop everything.

Dean has just cried out for that gun like it's been announced they're ceasing publication of Busty Asian Beauties, strip clubs across the continent have been shuttered, all the hops on the planet have rotted so no more beer, and waitresses are henceforth now titless robots.  Bwah-hahahahahaha [wheeze] [snort] [gasp] AHHHH-hahahahaha [pauses ep] [gasps again] [much wheezing] [wipes tears from eyes] [runs it back]

There's the wind-up.... wait for it..... and the pitch!

STEEELLLAAAA! [clears throat] I mean.... SWEEETHEEEEAAARRRTTT!

You know what just hit me? Both of Dean's sweethearts got ganked in this ep, right in front of his snarled-up, bad attitude face. That tickles me pink, because he's been a real sulky dipstick tween this episode, and because I have to be fair and not let him slide since he's my fave, and also because I'm a bitch. #1000 points

Ohhhhh.....

Ohhhhhh.....

OHHHHHHH.....

Dagon is not on a ceiling in this scene. #minus 200 points

And, PS: "Call it a miracle." ---> and with a touch of a growl?

#5000 points #for the brief glimpse #to the Cas I would very much #like to see someday

Ha... ha..... HAHAHAHAHAHAHA:

#100 points per noggin' boop #bonus 100 points for the bland "I'm sorry" after they were out cold and in the dirt  #extra 100 points for Kelly's over the shoulder glance and them casually TAKING THE IMPALA AGAIN #snort laugh

"The future" said way ominously  ---> #minus 600 points for anvil title drop and/or verbatim title from a line, however you wanna slice it. I mean, there's been times I've done it. But I'm also not making their kind of money and my shit ain't on TV.

Overall impression: I talked a loooot about this ep, but.... Eh. I just cannot get excited about this season. This ep is kind've a good exemplar for why - there are great moments. But interspersed moments do not a season storyline make.

Moving on.

12.20:  "Wicked Wicker"

"Twigs and Twine and Tasha Banes"? Good night nurse, I've been guilty of some real wet fart titles in my time, and props for not just taking a line from the script for it [see above, THE FUTURE!!! mwah-ah-ah-ah /Vincent Price] but this is bad. Laughable-bad, but still bad. I remember when it came out last year, y'know, when they piecemeal "announce" upcoming ep titles, and immediately striking it from CASPN card potentials because the fuck comedy-wise am I supposed to do with "twigs and twine"?  I mean, there's an alliterative "twat" potential somewhere in there, maybe, but....

We're bringing back MORE SIDEBAR CHARACTERS? And right here at the final stretch? Why? Whyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy. Whoever and whatever's in this episode best be absolutely critical to tying up this ratking assdisaster of bazillion plot threads knotted up in this season, hand to god, I'm gonna have a meltdown. Where's my whiskey. Sonnuva....

Now, here's what this (a) awkwardly shoe-horned interaction that (b) lasts too long, and features a (c ) pointed mention of a supes kewl ring tells me: Lady in the rocking chair is likely the Monster of the Week. At minimum, she's definitely involved. Hundred percent. There is absolutely zero chance I am not accurate. 'Cause....

ANVIL TIME! Dabb & co. ain't never met an anvil they weren't dyin' to drop. #minus 300 points for plot anvil ring dialogue

But I enjoyed the guest actor's absolute perfect channeling of every old biddy bitch I've encountered being born/raised/living in the South [re: clearly racist tone], so #100 points for good casting.

Still, whole cold-open wasn't..... smooth, including the chit-chat with the clerk. Just.... I mean....  here: Exterior - we see a B&B; Interior - we see a woman's hand sign her name "Tasha Banks" in a guest book; we see a key handed to her, clerk smiles, says  hope she enjoys her stay; show the lady in the rocking chair sneer at the back of her as she walks up the stairs. Then Interior - room - we see the Banks twins photo on her cell phone screen background, maybe a text pop from Alicia as camera pans up, and the first time we get a good look at her is when we see her do the spell/get her glow on, and proceed from there as it played out. #quickly #move move move #let's-a-go

Ah, that's unfortunate. T'would appear you're a shite witch. I don't know how someone gets the drop on who, the impression had been given, possibly said, I ain't looking it up, pretty powerful witch in a small, enclosed area with what appears to be a one entry/one exit sort of jam. Root cellar? Tornado hidey-hole? Well, no, where are we, Wisconsin? Wyoming? Something "W". Anyhoo, not in the alley, so, okay, root cellar it is. Perhaps I will understand later, when all is revealed, and when THIS WILL OBVIOUSLY TIE-IN TO CLOSING OUT THE SEASON #it won't #I know deep down it won't

Welcome back, reasonably-pointing-out-truths-bluntly-whilst-workin'-that-jaw-and-swallowing-gravel-offsides-to-make-your-voice-all-meanin'-business Dean. Everything you've said is in character and on-point for what knowledge you have at the present. #200 points

Wait, didn't she melt the shit out of Coltie-poo? It just looks busted. I mean, warped, but not magma bits as its portrayed demise would've suggested. Eh. Bobby's fixed it before, Sam'll fix it now, nobody's concerned or worried, blah blah biscuits. Or, hey, they'll have Jack Ex Machina whip 'er into shape, right? #eyeroll  I do thoroughly enjoy the continued reverent wrapping and unwrapping from its widdle nappy. #bless it

Convenient fully-charged cellphone that nobody noticed, specifically Sam who we just saw all over that space pullin' out THE LORE with that jammin' background tuneage, is convenient. Don't have it be in a drawer or something, y'all, where it would make sense that neither of the guys spotted it before now, though I still wouldn't know why Mary would stash a cell phone in a drawer that's not in her room. Ugh. #minus 600 points for stupidity #This. Is. The. Easy. Shit.

Time Out: That was a beautifully shot montage, truly - I thought later, wouldn't a nice little piano thing, that’s mildly intense, with a busy, slightly bright element to it, set at a quick clip of a time signature have hit the spot better, and fit Sam's character more?

Start the scene playing in your mind and, when you do, set it to this music that I..... oh hell, fuck it. Here. And forgive me for the couple weird glitches that pop up on some frames, I didn't download, just did a screen grabbing/music add in about a half-hour, because 30-ish seconds ain't worth the download and having to pull the sound from the orig and blah blah blah. And I could not *believe* how well it matched his movements, I did not alter the speed at *all*:

(it’s Rue des Cascades by Yann Tiersen, should you care)

#feel free to disagree on my choice #but you gotta at least #see my point that the orig was ill-suited #both for the scene #and for the Sammy #plus it blew chunks #and WTF with the loud-ass  #marker screeching on the table? Okay, time in.

Why are the twins stopped in the near-middle of a rando road for this conversation? Whyyyyy. So distracting. FFS, again, THIS IS THE EASY SHIT, DABB, YOU GOON. Part of your job is reviewing this stuff before it heads to broadcast, is it not? Watching dailies, perhaps? I'm moving on, I'm moving on, I'm moving on.

"Staaahhhp. You sound crazy" ----> bwah-ha-hahahaha, this kid's line delivery is spectacular. The twins rock. Max especially. I enjoyed them from the moment they were introduced. Doesn't mean I understand why the hell they're here or what part they'll play in: (1) the return of Mary/the potential upcoming death of Mary/regardless the likely upcoming tragedy sure to befall Mary; (2) the Men of Letters/Ketch/sudden random unoriginal character lady we're supposed to be intimidated by; and/or (3) the Nephilim/Lucifer/Cas business. Because surely, here, at the 3-2-1-Finale part of our journey, they *must* be critical to any/all of these endgames, right? RIGHT?!?!! #they're not #I know they're not

Nope, nopetty-nope-nope. Sorry, Sammy. Jody's job doesn't afford her the power to personally send out APBs "across three states", that'd be a Federal thing. And, PS - assuming that the Feds have already been on the lookout for that President's aide who suddenly disappeared amidst the threats on his life and all that blacksite stuff is a safe bet..... unless there was a country-wide brain wiping. Even if only wiped the government, well, allow me to introduce you to journalists. I'm sorry I have to inform you of this, characters who have, more often than not, successfully played at the FBI'ing for basically the entirety of your adult lives. Or, y'know, watched any legal/law enforcement TV show over the past.... always.... or seen any news reports on such since.... always....

I say all that to say, goddamnit, Dabb! This is the easy shit. Do the easy shit right. Then you can fudge on the harder stuff, and the fudgin' won't grate as much because all the other stuff surrounding it hasn't been distracting along the way. So nail the easy shit. It's easy to do. That's why it's called easy.

"Their mom's on a hunting trip, and hasn't been home in a week."

Their mom's on a hun..... their mom..... waaaaaiiit.  Wait a ding-dang second..... boy-howdy that sounds familiar, now where have I-----

THEIR MOM'S ON A HUNTING TRIP AND HASN'T BEEN HOME IN A WEEK.

Me, too, Dean-o.

Eat. Me. Dabb., you chode chewing cuck #minus 12,000 points #no that's not a typo #this is a tragically basic play

They dropped a "tee-hee, family business" reference in goat episode, not but two prior [and it worked, because it was a wink-nod, blink-and-you'd-have-missed-it]. Then just now, they featured the original line in "the road" not five minutes ago, complete with the reverse shot to show Sam's reaction so that's it's crystal fucking clear on the oh-so-witty flip here with him saying it to Dean. And yeah, it's technically about a year out from the time of this ep's original broadcast, but they do it again - and in an equally clunky manner - in the Wayward pilot. I know they've done this before, pretty sure, at least, but I don't recall them being so close in proximity to one another. Hmmm. Could be wrong. Regardless, what the hard-on is for it going from these late-season gambits into the brief time the writers have off before they get back to it in the summertime, I wouldn't dare to guess. 

To put another way: they *just* came off airing these 2 near back-to-back refs at the end of 12, to turn around and start workshopping and shit that summer after their end-of-season break. There are 2 eps that - just pure business/logistics-wise - I feel confident in assuming were on-deck first, even though they’re coming towards the last of 13, and that’s the Scooby Doo thing [:::sigh::::] and the Wayward backdoor pilot, which contained the clunker mentioned above. And guess who co-wrote the backdoor pilot, I’ll give you three, but you’ll only need one.

What is the matter with you, Dabb? Do you not see how sub-par this is, in comparison to early seasons? Were you created with the slowest sperm outta the gates and oldest egg in the coop, then swirled in a dirty beaker, then gestated in a shallow kiddie pool in the Laboratory of Mediocrity at the Zoolander School for Not Reading Good, run by the solid-C-average recipients of online PhDs for the low-low-price of fourteen installments of $19.99, plus shipping and handling? I don't even wanna see your CV. It'll make me furious. This is such a case of Average White Man Fails Upwards, story at 11.

Better question, what is the matter with the people who knighted you as showrunner? You. Can’t. Write. I take that partially back - you could write. I scanned the wiki’s rundown of what eps the Dabbster’s had his paws on, and way-back-when he was involved in some that I found to be killer, if not on the whole then at least in healthy chunks. But holy shitsnacks, as time has rolled on, it has not been kind.

That godawful other pilot should have disqualified him from being in charge of anything but corn flake commercials. #you don't anvil callbacks #callbacks should be seamless from the perspective of newer viewers #and be little treats that long-time fans will pick up on #YOU DON'T ANVIL CALLBACKS

Try this - and phrase it however, doesn't matter - how's about Sam points out, and gently, with a slightly teasing smile, that hey, it kinda sucks when you've got a parent who you haven't heard from in awhile, and you're worried, and your stupid brother says it's probably nothing, huh? And Dean's attitude loosens up. Maybe there's an upturn of the corner of his mouth, touch of a barely-there eyeroll. Then off they go.

BUT I'M NOT A PROFESSIONAL TV WRITER, WHAT THE HELL DO I KNOW

I. Am. Seven. Minutes. In.

Oh my my my. Appears Ketch and Mary's relationship has kicked up a notch and now resides at the corner of 50 Shades and Alastair. Nah. Gotta be a shifter or some such..... yepper.

"It's Dean." --- "Aaaaand?" ----> Ketch, you saucy bitch.

Dean, I don't.... how will it be good to talk to her? How? How has she been a comfort or a safe haven or a sounding board for you at any point since her return? I get it. I don't like having to see my fave character/actor on the show  go through it, but writer/story-wise, I get it. And it's realistic for how people who've suffered emotional abuse in childhood react to same as adults. I credit the actor, though, 'cause to be sure he is the one fleshing it out as I sincerely doubt it's scripted or been discussed, so #500 points, Ackles only

Y'know, I have always liked the shifter concept, both here and elsewhere [shows, books, whatnots], too. Especially liked the ep with the baby. Who is given the unfortunate name of Bobby John. Lil' Beej, as I like to call him. 'Cause "B.J."initials. I'm talking blowjobs.

I dig those stabbies with the clearly plastic-handled, looks to be modeled after the long bolt-like thingies that came in the bag with somebody in the props department's most recent Ikea order; wait, no I don't.  #minus 10 points for cheap-looking shit #only ten because #the network clearly dicks this show on budget #as compared to their other wares

Sam Smith is hella good at acting like getting tortured/being in pain #70 points

"My eye twitches allll the time" ---> the Ketch sneer *owns* me, this actor is fun to watch. I'd looked him up after seeing the first few eps with him, and he has languished in Hallmark movie purgatory for so long, I wondered what he possibly could've done to anger the B-grade rom-com overlords, and I considered watching one but the synopses for Every. Single. Thing. made MY eye twitch, I couldn't do it.  #100 points for making me think of Tori Spelling's "Mother May I Sleep With Danger" and snort-laughing.

Ineffective end-of-scene confrontation cap off response to above with "Well then - I guess I know all about you" in sudden, out-of-nowhere, I-suppose-someone-thinks-that-was-legit-Southern, awkward pseudo-accent is bizarre, particularly since the Mary iteration spoke in her normal voice; if the shifter was Southern just for quirkiness' sake, fine! Great! It ain't the first not-even-close Southern accent coming out of Hollyweird, won't be the last, just be consistent.

Also, better line, something to the effect of - "So. That mean everybody knows you're always lying?" ---> and in regular accent. #minus 300 points for weird-ass distracting choice that didn't get stopped by the director #or, conversely, was the idea of the director #and fire whoever's coaching you on accents, actor dude whose name I'm brain-farting, and, like, yesterday

"....the only vegan restaurant in town"

Huh? Why are we supposed to care that Missing Mommy is vegan? My assumption is that she's going to be up and about and something in a zombie/revenant vein being controlled by the witch in some fashion, so.... is this another anvil? Will we know it's less Mommy and more Mommie Dearest when we spot her laying waste to the honey roasted thigh of a fresh newborn or something?

Thank you clunky exposition to explain "borrower witch" - did Alicia even specify in her call?  Whatever, that's awesome, and hey, remember Gadreel? #minus 500 points #this is way pedestrian #be better  Here's a better:  assuming Alicia did clarify, and if not, she should have, Sam goes, "Borrower witch, right?" and Dean looks at him and goes, "Remind me?" It's still exposition but at least it's less bleeeccchhh.

"I got the bartender's number" ---> Max, you sparkly-eyed breath of fresh air in this stank-ass season. You're gonna die, right? I remember hearing one of you does. I hope it's not you. Actor-person, you are a delight, charisma oozes off the screen, so if they bother to use you at all ever again, be prepared, they'll kill you way before they kill a one trick pony. #claire

A nice 4-for-the-price-of-one, great on everyone's part, hit me baby one more time, The *Look*(s) Of The Episode:

Dean, don't give me that bonus *look*, the stupid-ass "mom's on a hunt" line is there to stay,  nothing to be done, bubba. I'd advise you to just "carry on" but then I'd deserve to get kicked in the cooter for such tripe.

"Wouldn't want him to think mummy doesn't love him." ----> Ketch, you beautiful bastard.

Hahahahaha - and then SHE STILL DOESN'T CALL HIM BACK, not even a quick "hey, gimme a sec to get back to my room - is now a good time to call?" text.

The "package" is totes Mickey-poo, who's likely all oozy and bloaty by this point, yeah? And AGAIN with the clunky dialogue, him reciting that like 3,000 character bin # or whatever for "The Package" just so's Mary could overhear it. #GAAAAAAWWWWD  

Hey - and THERE'S a place for a gross-out death moment, if you haaaave to have one [see above, RE: graphic cutfest in last ep], a shot of Mick's head with a fixed stare as she pulls back a tarp or something, because you *know* Ketch didn't bother to close his eyes.

Alright, finally, NOW the call.... "I want to be there" ---> So, be there.  "I need to finish this." ----> finish..... what?

FUCK YEAH WICKER MAN, ARE THERE BEES, THIS SHOW HAS A PERMANENT SEMI FOR BEES, THERE SHOULD BE BEES

Stop bringing up the vegan restaurant. That's three times in 20 minutes.

Max. Is. Gold. Is everyone seeing this kid? They'll kill him off. Maybe not this ep, I legit don't know, but he'll end up dead, he's as pretty as the leads and as good an actor. Call me cynical, but that's a sure ticket guest-start-wise into not being long for a given show's world. #I'm just sayin'.

"A werewolf shot him in the head?" ---- "It's not impossible." -----> okay, Ketch has gotten all the best lines this ep, and I'm co-signing, he's killin' it #500 points

Mary, dollface - how did you/have you survived hunting all this time when you've been about as sharp as a marble - I mean, now? Now? Now you're vibing that something ain't right. I am so sorry they've made you out to be a real fuckstick, and now a stupid one, to boot.

[Imma go on a tangent at the end of this regarding the Mary character and how they have blown the chance to do some really quality deep divin' into what I think is an obvious well of potential material, but didn't wanna interrupt this. Because sweet mother, I've still got like 15 minutes left on this one]

You have on knuckles and you supposedly know how to fight and you didn't drive your fist into his cricoid. #wut #crack you some windpipe girl #more effective in the long-term #than a ball bustin'

MAAAAAAX!!!!!  You BAMF. And I'm diggin' the royal blue/purple glow action.

Sound department, kindly stop snapping fistfuls of uncooked spaghetti for the bone-breaking effect, it doesn't sound like bones breaking, it sounds like you're snapping fistfuls of uncooked spaghetti.

Wait, what? Her soul is saved if she gives away her magic powers? I don't get it. She said a bunch of words, and the tone indicated an explanation, but.....

I mean wasn't the deal about the power? Demon gives power for "x" amount of time, then the debt is her soul? So..... the demon/the hounds are dumbfucks when the time comes, who go after the powers, not the person? Nah. I don't buy it. They don't want the powers. Demons apparently - based on the setup - have plenty, that's how they're able to give it away/barter with 'em. The souls are the preferred currency of choice.

If the gang had left her alive... like, here we go: Sam does some Latin chant whilst Max glows purple to nerf her, toss 'er in the root cellar, because remember - SHE'S TAKEN OFF THE HORCRUX I MEAN THE RING, so plausibly do-able, yeah?  All her books and shit are there, Alicia's body's intact, there's a brand new Nic Cage weaved and ready.

So  - binding, root cellar tossin', sister's body on ice, salt-n'-burn the others, pack up the books, strap Nic Cage to the top of the jeep, and keep the ring but don't put it on. Go back to the bunker. Put Alicia in the walk-in freezer I know is somewhere in that joint downstairs because no way does that icebox [yes, that is the proper term for something of that age, it's how I was brought up, #come at me bro] hold enough grub to feed all the peeps that bunker was spec'd for. Then you bust out THE LORE, cross-reference some shit, water Nic Cage if he starts getting dry, check sis for freezer burn, wrap her in those little baggies that prevent freezer burn, use your magic to make  it human-sized otherwise what the hell damn point is there to having purple glowy magic if you can't do practical things, as well? This concludes my questioning.

I like the dolly thing, though, that's creative. And niiiiiiiice choice with the twins' storyline. This is a unique burden for him to have  #good shit  Bonus points if, in the future, they allow Alicia to go a touch dark comedy with it, once she knows what's happening, a la....

[If you have not seen “Death Becomes Her”, do so immediately]

Now, have the twins turned up in S13 yet? I mean, we're over the halfway mark, are we not? Do we know if they're on deck to pop up? Because..... otherwise...... the point of this was.....?

Hey look it's that mental rapist chick I'd completely forgotten about, the one who got set-up with backstory that never paid off vs. just intro'ing her with seeing that news report and heading straight to her [not very detailed, but whatevs] info board in her batcave.

But I'll acknowledge the writers having her coming back around and them having her utilize [well, about to, since I've seen the finale] her skills/her specialty in brain-washing, I guess we'll call it.  At least there’s payoff there, a bigger reason than just Sam torture. However: #0 points #you get no points #for doing the bare minimum #of what you're supposed to

This got too heavy and ran too long; part three'll be eps 21 & 22, then just some blips of fun stuff about the finale and links to posts I'd done about it way-back-when. I'll try to make it funnier next go, cross mah heart!

Taggin' peeps who dug the last one..... @saenalife  @jalove-wecallhimdean  @impandagrl  @theoriginalvicki  @butiaintgonnaloveem  @ilsawasanacrobat  @smi727  @bumbleball13  

My take on Mary below, should you care. 

I know I joke a lot, but I don't dislike her, truly I don't. And I am glad they showed her having trouble adjusting to everything. The speech she gave in whatever ep it was, was well-written [and well-delivered, points to Sam Smith], the way they'd phrased it, about how she just went from holding babies, to having grown men as sons and hey, surprise, you're also a widow all in one fell swoop. I'm glad they've shown her being badass. I'm glad they said her pies were store-bought. I'm glad she got laid by a hot young thang. I like goods-and-bads-and-shadiness-and-humor, all the many combos of dimensions people can be. I'm glad they mentioned she bothered to tie up loose ends before "retiring" from hunting.....

........but didn't bother to ward the fuck out of your house even though you knew trouble-was-a'comin, though, did ya, Mare? 'Cause if it's me?

I'd have tattooed every charm from my bracelet on my kids, on the bottoms of their chubby fucking feet, whatever, pick a spot. I'd have tore up drywall down to the studs, square foot by square foot while John was at work, baby-stepping my way over time so he wouldn't notice. I'd be throwing up wallpaper over painted sigils, prying up baseboards where I'd run thick gobs of epoxy coated in all the rock salt I could've hidden in the house, and I'd have been doing it since the minute I found out I was pregnant. 

Toilet tanks would have rosaries, and old liquor bottles and bleach bottles and milk jugs would be stashed here-and-there with the same, and hell, I'd even toss one in the baby's humidifier in the nursery, get Dean a little goldfish to live on his nightstand with one buried in the gravel at the bottom, so that anywhere I'd be, I could splash that motherfucker right in his piss-stained eyeballs. I'd have taken it to the limits of my knowledge, and then when I got there, I'd start searching for more, I'd be a sponge soaking up anything and everything during any spare time I had.

And maybe I'd have kept John in the dark, maybe not, can't say, but you know what? With or without him, *I* had knowledge of the scary shit to come, it was *my* debt that'd be called up, and *I* was the one with a [heh] very special set of skills.  So I'll tell ya one thing: my shit would have been together and locked up tight, and even if I did end up torched, by god, my collector would have walked away at least a little singed, too.

That's a part of my issue with Mary, that huuuuuuuge plot hole [for me, at least] that's honestly a sink hole, which opened up the second they revealed the Campbells were hunters. That put a bad taste in my mouth for the character, and for the writers, as.... how many seasons ago was that?..... they have yet to address it. And I don't give three fucks if they do in S13, it's done, they already screwed the pooch, this shoulda already come up at *least* in passing, and been on deck before even halfway through S12. Also coulda been addressed in the other seasons' dreams or back-in-times or any other interactions they've had with her post-knowledge of the Campbells [S5-or-6-ish, yeah? whenever Soulless was on the scene], even if she/they got brain-zapped to have no memory of it, or even if it was just one of the guys processing aloud to a dream version of her, this *must* be addressed.

And no, Dean's "I love you/I hate you/I forgive you" speech is not what I mean - that was a blanket/general thing about her not being there their entire lives and then not being there when given a second chance, but look what they turned out to be/to do, etc. I'm saying a frank confronting of her specific role in what lead up to the events of that night, anything she tried, or if she was in denial and ergo did bupkis, or whatever. Sam is owed that. Dean is owed that. It needs to be unboxed and addressed, even if it takes a nasty turn.

Even if it's the two of them processing it, working through it together, not in some sobfest in one sitting, just trickling out naturally, opening up to each other over time, say, when they've had to deal with situations involving mothers/children/families. They've thought it. You know they have. They *had* to have thought it. And it's the foundation of the show, right? And "family above all" is the key tenet, right? This. Must. Be. Addressed. if at any point the showrunners would like to tie up this years-old loose end.

But there's the Dabb factor, so make sure your O2 tank's on full, you're gonna need it if you're holding your breath that it'll (a) get done, and (b) get done well, 'cause I for one will be over here, breathing out huffy sighs of doubt.

I just spoiled you a bit for an element of my story, 'cause hell, screw them, I'm addressing it. It was one of the first big,capital-lettered, took-up-half-a-page notes when I was doing my summer run through the series a couple years back.  But it's cool. There's a twist-a-rooney. Because there's always more angles to any one story, right? Fear not, I didn't ruin you. Let's just say, there was a hell of a lot more going on during that time period - and the night of The Main Event - than met the eye. [wink]

So that's my thing with their failing the Mary character overall, now back to present day - my issue with their characterization of Mary 2.0 is that they could've accomplished this without making her Miss Self-Absorbed Cuntface 2017. #that's Claire's job  No, but for reals, they played it way too heavy. And here's the bigger thing, which is a bit biased as it's a huge stickler for me in real life family/friendship issues, and that's loyalty. Make her wishy-washy, make her traumatized, make her distant, hell - throw the Cas and/or Sam can't go a season without at least one big fat fucker of a deception old hat routine on her, whatever.

But they had her choose strangers - and be loyal to those strangers - over her clearly still-hurting children who have lived a hard life, and done it without her, with the extra frosting on top of an obsessive, self-serving, nothing-matters-more-than-avenging-your-mother, quite militant father. Have her be shaky at it, have her suck at it, and have it be a struggle for everybody, but there was zero need to make her a disloyal shitstain. That's a very scary trait in a person, and an instant repellent for me IRL, so naturally it repelled me here, as well.

The Mary return didn't have to be a "thing" is my point; could've been a nice little undercurrent issue that mirrored the parenting thing they rolled into with Kelly's [and later, Cas'] choice about having Jack despite the danger [and Cas' choice to take on raising him]. And said parallels wouldn't need to be anvil-dropped, it woulda melted together like buttah, no heavy lifting required. Mary could've been shown "talking" to John here and there about how great the boys are and about how sorry she was for not including him on who she really was, and etc., etc. She could've been shown being caught between loyalty to Sam and loyalty to Dean [LOYALTY!!!], RE: partnering with the Men of Letters. I'm still okay with the scene where Dean tells her to take a walk, because That. Was. A. Stellar. Scene.

And that flash of what could've been a nice little exploration earlier in the season, but it was a throw-a-way moment in the finale, the whole "I'm afraid Sam will hate me", etc.? I truly hope that gets a big, crisp, shiny bow on it by 13's end, see above, RE: could have her explaining herself not just to John figuratively, but to them literally about her choice to la-di-dah her way through the years between the deal and her death when she knew something bad was coming. Or, if they wanna gloss over it, have her say she did do shit but it clearly wasn't enough - it'd be thin, but it'd be an acknowledgment.

Think how much richer, how meaty, how heart-rending, how satisfying that would be when she [because you know she will] dies/is gone again, vs. some weaksauce sacrifice at the last minute with a tearful "I'm sorry" and the guys saying "we forgive you" and it ringing hollow on all fronts, both from them and from her, and you won't care that she's gone, you'll be glad to see her go, because what is even the point of her coming back if there's not an ounce of resolution? This show ain't going til S20.... I mean, it might.... but come on, they won't bring her back again, at least, not for an arc. This is it. It's go-time. Now or never. And they've whiffed it.

[shrugs]

But y'know, I'm not a professional writer; who am I to criticize?

[laurakinneywrites]

lazy bios;

RAYMOND STINGER; ((surname tbd lmao))

ok he's not actually super developed cos i just made him today but he's mr ray from finding nemo lmao!!!!

obvi like lisa he's an elementary school teacher??? AND IDK HOW IT WORKS IN THE US OF A like i know obviously over here when you have a primary teacher they're your teacher for all lessons? idk if that's the case in america tho i feel like it might not be???? but he's english!!!! and he's a geography major :) he's super duper into geography and travelling and shit!!! 

but when he was like a Teenager he was dead like rock and like thought he was the Bees Knees LMAO like he thought he was SO COOL but he wasn't he was just a massive dork that thought he could start a band but nobody wanted to be in his band cos he's a nerdass so he started this one man band in his garage and held concerts that only his mum and kid sister would go to and he was one of those kids that would try and strap all these diff instruments to himself to make it work LMAO so he had like a keyboard and then he'd blow into his trumpet and strum his guitar and if she was feeling generous he'd get his kid sister to do the *ding* of the triangle or bash some symbols together and he thought he was so rock n roll but he just wasn't LMAO

ANYWAYS in spite of that he's a very talented musician in fairness to him and even tho he had no friends at school and was the big loser he was just rly sweet and nice to everyone???? he just!!! likes people and likes making them smile!!!! he's just a big smiler!!!!!! lmao and at his old school that he taught at they ended up in a bit of a rut where they had no music teacher? so he took on the role to help out while they found someone to fit the position but then they realised just how good he was and how much the kids love him so it kinda stuck and he got back into music and as like oh!!! i missed this!!!!! wow!!!! so now that he's in cherry grove he's like!!! WANNA TEACH THE SMOLS LOVE THE SMOLS THEY'RE SO UPBEAT AND FULL OF WONDER GOD BLESS 'EM!!!!!! and so even tho he majors in geography and excels in music, he teaches everything obvi!!!! 

but geography and music classes are his favs and he loves hyping the kids up? and like where lisa sorta teaches her kiddos and is dead hippy and gives them play times where she feels they deserve it and just plays her guitar and sings to herself while they're working n shit he likes to like?? actually teach lessons with music sometimes??? which is super unconventional maybe but he's got that whole like school of rock vibe where he wants kids to know that they can be anything and that any career is viable and that you don't always have to be academic! or athletic! or musical! or you can be! any of those things!! and that's ok!!! and so he has all the fun w music class especially cos he assigns them all instruments and is like YOU'RE IN THE BAND and lets them explore their talents and if they don't wanna be in the band and play or sing he's like that's cool!!! u wanna manage??? do costumes??? what do u wanna do COS I'M SO ON BOARD!!!!! he's just a really cheery bab lmao i haven't given him any angst (YET?????)

but yeah! and he loves the beach and the ocean and stuff like that obvi cos u know he's based on a stingray so, lmao. and he loves taking kids on field trips omg!!! to the aquarium? CHECK!!! to musicals? CHECK!!!! he's a pacifist and he's not one for arguing but he does like to be assertive and get his way if the principal doesn't want him taking the kids on field trips n stuff but he does it in such a soft and mild way that he sorta convinces them that it's for educational purposes and wins people over with his warm smile ^_^

also i like to picture how he dresses and he def goes to work in like really clipped and expensive looking (but tbh probs scavenged from second hand shops lol) suits that are really prim and proper looking but he loves wearing like suspenders and braces and he never wears a tie (the occasional bow tie IF HE HAS TO but he hates wearing ties) and his hair's always scruffy and messy and his shirt's always crumpled w the top button undone so it's that kind of Look(tm) where he's dressed all smart and suave but Not? so basically like every hot dude at the end of a wedding reception after they've discarded their tie and have danced into the night, except that's his every day Look

DINAH CARROLL:

OK SO she’s a childhood best friend of alice's?? and like when bunny sorta lead alice away they drifted a bit? like they're still /friends/ but dinah's not at all on the drug scene and it's just not the life for her and she doesn't rly venture into that kinda territory at all? so where alice fell into a bad crowd she sorta left dinah behind? and they sorta miss one another terribly and think super highly of one another but maybe they don't necessarily have anything in common anymore and it's kinda sad for them cos they can't seem to fall back into old patterns.

i was thinking that like they both kinda chase after the white rabbit but alice falls down the hole w/o dinah? and i was thinking about how alice sorta idolises bunny and maybe dinah did too but got left behind kinda thang?

cos especially in the book and whatnot alice and dinah follow white rabbit and alice falls down the rabbit hole after him!!! but leaves dinah behind!!! and she spends all her time in wonderland talking about dinah and how much she misses her, and there’s a part about where alice talks about how everyone in wonderland hates dinah but she thinks she’s the best cat in the world, so essentially alice and dinah (in the rp) are best friends and alice goes down her route with bunny and dinah feels a little left behind and alone. but she never stops loving and missing alice? and vice versa? alice still thinks highly of her and though her new friends don’t necessarily think very highly of dinah or even like her in the slightest bit, she’ll defend her relentlessly even when they aren’t still talking/hanging out/etc

but i was thinking about like cats and their agility and their love of climbing and stuff!! and i was thinking of making her like really into things like rock climbing and abseiling and shit????? and like free running/parkour n stuff lol.

and she can be soft and affectionate and ^____^ like all cats but she can hold her own and she's got a bitta bite in her too ya know?? like a soft lil feminist kitty. and naturally she Loves Cats lol. and she's scared of dogs? i was thinking about how alice like proudly tells people about how dinah's v good at hunting and catching her dinner (ie mice and stuff?) and thought maybe my dinah could be like into archery or smth? not /actually/ hunting but she's a dab hand w a bow and arrow maybe or smth.

also she's like tomboyish and girly at the same time? so she loves a good flower crown and prettying herself up but she's not afraid of getting herself all roughed up and dirty and looking scruffy? and she likes playing around w her image and just trying new things and dyeing her hair and doing as she pleases :3

she's not necessarily good with kids? not so much that she dislikes them, cos she doesn't, but she's not rly used to altering herself or her behaviour to suit others? like she is who she is with everyone? so around kids sometimes she forgets that she can't just be blunt if it suits her or sarcastic or w/e and that she's gotta be a lil bit softer and sorta adapt and stuff

idk her sexuality just yet but she’s very much into girls and guys and loves kissing pretty girls and has never had a Real or Serious relationship cos most people don’t take her seriously which is okay!!! she’s just coasting through life but once she develops a crush her lil heart is all aflutter and she’s got a bad habit of crushing on girls who won’t like her back and it makes her a bit Sad

her parents own a donut shop called the rabbit hole

she has two sisters named caroline and edith (one older, one younger!) and a little brother named albert

she has two bunnies and a cat! her cat is literally named kitten because she’s unoriginal, and she has a white rabbit named white rabbit (cos unoriginal), and another white rabbit named snowdrop (cos dinah’s kids were named snowdrop and kitten lol)

MOHINDER PATEL; 

okay!!!! so mo!!!!! his backstory is a bit topsy turvy til i develop it in its entirety cos i wanna make sure it's all solid lmao but.

BASICALLY mohinder's parents were explorers and stuff? and they travelled the world with mo at their side? they were archaeologists for the most part, but before they set off travelling, ever before they had mo, his father was a professor and his mother was a veterinarian. :) anyways!!!! one day they were travelling and mo was only about 3? they got into a boating accident. they were travelling along the river and the current grew stronger than they'd anticipated, and they crashed into the bank. mo's father was driving and he passed away on impact, but his mother crowded over mo's body, shielding him in an attempt to save him from harm? obviously distraught and terrified, she wanted to stay and mourn her husband but her priority was getting mo to safety, and so she bundled him into her arms and ran to find help. they were stranded alone in a jungle though with no sign of civilisation and she was certain there was no hope until she eventually ran into a small clearing that essentially resembled a tiny village? there weren't many inhabitants but they were willing to help and they took them in, took care of mo, and tried to nurse his mum back to health. sadly she died tho from her injuries as she'd been so shocked and eager to help mo she hadn't taken any notice of how severe her own injuries were. 

anyways mo eventually was integrated into this tiny band of people, and lived his life in this jungle, growing up surrounded by the people who saved him. there were only about 20 of them, and they were all men. there were no women and so the only woman that mo ever truly knew was his mother, who he lost far too young? he still has little reminders of his parents, things they scavenged from their bodies/the boat/etc, but not much memory of them.

anyway he grew up in this sorta deserted jungle and had no real basis of human interaction cos he didn't know anybody out of that circle? he was surrounded by nature and animals more often than he was people, and for the first few years of his life there he barely spoke a word, only really opening up around age 6 or 7, finally finding the courage to speak, though still a boy of few words.

he was taught to hunt and defend himself as they weren't near any sort of real town and they didn't have things like tvs or basic coking utensils even? so they had to hunt and fight for their food. mo /hated/ it. he learned archery from a young age and became exceptionally skilled, but he never liked to kill for his food as it didn't feel right. so when he was a little older he started trying to find new ways to feed himself through plants and stuff? he wasn't very clever though so a lot of plants that he picked and whatnot were really dangerous and he got really poorly for a while and was kinda scolded for it and had to revert back to the ways he was taught.

he's a scrappy fighter even though he can stand up for himself and fight there's nothing clean or proper or educated about his techniques in fighting cos it's all based on the hunting and everything hes had to do to stay alive??? so he's a proper savage if he's ever in a fight lmao

he loves animals so much though? he doesn't wanna hurt them cos when you grow up with mostly animals for company they become your family and he works to protect them, not harm them??? he used to put himself in danger a lot by going days w/o eating cos he would just refuse to kill for his food.

he doesn't rly know how to harness and express his emotions cos he's never been taught real, human behaviour? he's never had any basis to learn from either. so he's got no concept of social norms and ordinary behaviour?

he spent all his life just like climbing trees and swinging from branches w the monkeys and drinking from the lakes w elephants and integrating himself w the animals rather than the few humans he Did know?

when he was 15 their little 'village' if u will was raided and uncovered??? and essentially i've not like delved too far into this aspect but bc it was kinda an uncivilised and unethical way of living they were all brought back to civilisation and The Real World, but mo especially bc he was so young he was put into foster care by the system? given this new life and stuff. they tried to track his parents family based on the lil bits he Did have but to no avail.

he was thrown into this big scary world that he didn't understand with cars and boats and plains and television and aksjdlkasjd it was kinda scary for him cos he Knew Of these things but he'd never rly been in big cities surrounded by skyscrapers and stuff? and now that he's that bit older he's growing and learning things but it's still scary. foster families were always sending him back into the system cos they didn't want him? they didn't wanna deal w him and his tantrums and his way of life. he's always walking around barefoot w/o a t-shirt on and raking mud through the house and doing as he pleases and eating w his hands and has no manners or anything aklsjdkalsjd

he's still really into archery and now that he's a bit older and integrated into society he knows what like veganism is and stuff? so he shoots and stuff but never Hunts? and he's a strict vegan just bc that's what He wants and stuff? but he's not like preachy or anything like when people ask him Why he's like 'i don't like tearing animals limb for limb' and they're like UH???? ME NEITHER???? U GOOD????????? lmao but.

anyways!!!!!! being in the real world was scary and he'd never seen a girl before (aside from his mum) SO EMOTIONS RAN HIGH AND WERE CONFUSING AND!!!!!!! so he was just like ok!!!! SCARY!!! but nobody would ever go near him cos they thought he was rabid or some sort of wild animal and they were kinda frightened of him and people picked on him and he was treated like a weirdo to the point he was pulled from school and underwent like private classes and stuff. which for him was kinda weird and confusing cos he was once again being taken away from like civilisation and people after getting used to it to a degree? but yup.

he's quite playful and carefree but he's dead stubborn? dead mischievous and likes playing tricks on people but that requires having friends to trick lmao. and he's got a bit of a temper and can be easily stressed out and gets dead anxious and nervous in loud and crowded spaces sometimes? like really claustrophobic. he's so used to following his own rules too sometimes it's hard to adapt and he attaches himself to soft people who don't treat him like smth of a pariah and don't cringe away from him but he never rly meets people like that so it's not easy???

but the basic human kindness shown to him and he'll attach himself to you and he gets really overprotective and if he sees someone messing with someone he cares for he just Loses His Shit? like he's got a temper and he's not been taught to reign it in and he hates cruel people?? so one time for example he had a foster dad who was abusive and he straight up attacked him and punched him in the face in defence of himself and his foster siblings and he was sent back into the system for it even tho he thought he was doing the right thing? he's tamed to an extent and learned since but he's still a bit wild u know?? one step at a time and all that

but he loves singing at the top of his lungs no matter how bad and dancing barefoot through the woods and doing as he pleases and he's found music really calming so when he was first introduced to like, an ipod and earphones and stuff it was such a marvel for him and he found that just plugging earphones in helps him quiet all the other sounds and calm him down :)

he wants to explore and travel some day just like his parents did cos he does sorta miss the wild and stuff but he doesn't think he's got the social etiquette or common sense of even the intelligence to ever make smth of himself cos of the life he's lead

anyways he's now in cherry grove? essentially he was tracked down by his parents family and he's just been moved to cg to live with his aunt and her husband and it's all scary cos they're Family but he doesn't Know Them and he's in a new place with new people and ahhh!!!! SCARY BIG WORLD !!!! so ya lol there's more on him but my hands are cramping up if we're being honest

[grodyego]

i keep thinking about all these posts that r (understandably) trying to make light of the events of three buckets like “at ep 1: pb and finn host a sleepover to fight zombies! latest at ep: finn kills an alternate version of himself and furthers his trauma” but like... that’s the thing to me. this ep rlly does seem mostly dedicated to furthering finn trauma, which seems a little weird (narrative-wise to me) for a few reasons

this got really really long and kind of all over the place bc i care too much about cartoons so if you read it all i owe you my life

adventure time, to me, doesn’t seem to have any overreaching plot, which isn’t necessarily a bad thing! i think it’s why it’s gone on for as long as it has, bc the world and the characters who inhabit it are interesting enough to push themselves along with their own kind of personal narrative elements that develop and come to a head. like, think about it, do u actually care about the lich, like as a villain, at all? or do u care more about the threat he poses to the land of ooo and everybody in it??

so that being said, ppl who watch the show r really gonna care about finn and be invested in what he does and how he feels, i know i definitely am!! ive been watching at since it came out and, while finn is like a teen still in the show, it kinda feels like ive grown up along side him you know? this is my own personal bias showing thru rn but ive gone through some stuff, growing up, and just now am i learning how to like... get better, or have the hope i’ll get better, and i guess where most of my confusion and frustration stems is i want the same to happen to finn. finn’s been through so much traumatic stuff: the lich, farmworld, finding his human dad only to find out hes gonna get no answers out of him about what happened to the rest of the humans and why he is alone in that sense, almost dying in space (multiple times), like... the list really goes on. so my question is why does it KEEP going on, especially when the show is ending after this next season and after to me it seems like... from islands, elementals, and the episodes surrounding this, it seemed like the direction was going to be finn becoming like, i dunno. actually ok

like, lets look at islands as the main example: finn being the only human left in ooo came up a lot, even early on in the show: it was weird and confusing and sad!! i remember early on in the at fandom that was like the prime material for angst, and the shows really spent a long time all throughout its running building on this one thing about finn (and there are a lot of at episodes, trust me, ive been rewatching all of them). up until islands i was really on the fence about getting answers about the humans, about finn’s background (since he already had a family, really) how they might attempt to resolve finn’s feelings about this thing they’d been building for most of the show- but i absolutely ADORED islands! i still do! i think it was done really really well bc, you kind of get closure, yeah, you know humanity didnt go extinct, and you know how finn got out into the world of ooo, but like... finn got closure. it wasnt like he was instantly over it and everything was better, but it was just like... this step for him. and it was really heartfelt and really sweet and really satisfying bc finn’s gone thru so much and like, his earlier attempt at closure with his dad went so south and was so traumatic so this moment of like, i dunno, growth?? just, ugh, i dont even know how to put into words how i felt about it, this is already so long lmfao

related that tho was fern, and i loved fern!! i didnt once think he would go evil, even with being a cursed, bc even when we find out he isn’t really finn, and instead kind of new, his... origin i guess is finn?? and theres nothing that could make finn wholly evil, like, the kid who overcame the fcking lich with nothing but the power of friendship and liking somebody???? how could ANYTHING from him ever resort to evil, to me it just makes so little sense, especially since fern was the one himself who told finn he wasn’t just a finn copy, and had to go and find out for himself what being a hero and being somebody new meant to him. to go the “original” route and try to kill and replace finn, and then fight him to the death, from fern’s own story- it just doesn’t make sense and it just seems so disappointing. it seems so quick for him to go “being myself isn’t working” and then to go the route of attacking somebody who, up until now, he was probably closest to- and could understand him the best and reason this with him??? i dunno man, it seems like kind of a waste

and then finn has to kill somebody he was beginning to consider a brother, if not even closer, who was working on his own closure- and then to be traumatized again??? and with the rest of the episodes in the bomb too!!! learning that you can change and still be the same, marceline’s line about having difficulty dealing with some stuff because shes never talked about with anyone, even herself- and sweetpea asserting no matter where he came from, he’s good! this could have all come together with fern figuring out that it takes a lot to learn how to be yourself and that its often really complicated, and finn helping him like im sure he really wanted or was already trying to do! but finn has to be traumatized again because... i dont know???

at usually sticks to changing the status quo pretty well imo and taking more than one episode to end or solve things, so again with islands- if three buckets had ended differently, it wouldnt have automatically solved everything, but it would have been at least a step towards a happy resolution, for both finn and fern