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lexicorp · 7 months ago
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Transformers Earthspark: Another Place, Another Prison
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Holy shite there were so, SO many things I wanted to draw pertaining to this chapter, but drawing was being so fragging hard omg ;-; sooo this got the vibes decently enough at least hopefully llol
aaaaannnd it's a Hashtag POV chapter again! :D
She's really trying to pinpoint how the heck she feels about this junk (def difficult tryna navigate the psych issues round here), and you just might be able to guess what she lands on. Star is still not having the greatest of time, but Hashtag is here to read his aft like a book yet again. For the most part at least.
Previous Chapter: Distractions
First Chapter: The Need For Read
Next Chapter: Helm In The Cloud
Chapter 16: A Game Of Charades
Hashtag had hoped that the game night with Starscream could go better this time around. They’d had fun training together at least. They were all kinda starting to get along. Sharing music, cat videos, comics, their favorite wrestling channel–even Thrash was starting to warm up to this whole thing! Though he DID constantly try and do some silly schemes to test the sketchy seeker, the vibes weren’t malicious or anything. It was starting to feel just a bit normal again. As normal as it could be anyway. So what was the deal?
Why did Bee and Screamer have to get into some stupid fight? Now? Why was he acting all extra weird, this time?
Hashtag squinted her optics at her teacher and…potential second teacher if he stopped being dumb; while leaning her face against a servo.
“C’mon Starscream!” Bee tossed his servos in the air in exasperation at the ordeal. “You can’t hide in there just because you don’t want to lose in Uno again! It’s not THAT bad!”
Starscream was gripping the edge of the entrance to his room, and glaring like he was imagining blasting Bee’s face off. The thought made Hashtag tense. “No! That is NOT what I am afraid of you fool!” He jabbed a digit at Bee. Now…he did actually look oddly on edge come to think of it. “Enjoy your ridiculous games, and leave me out of it! Don’t try to act like my absence will be some tragedy. I’m sure all will go far smoother without–” His optics flickered with some weird mix of red and purple in them–kind of energon-ish color? That was new–and he held his head as his wings went all spazzy. 
Bee tried to reach out but was smacked away. “Dude. Look. I don’t know if you fell in love with isolating yourself after your months of alone time in the Titan, but as your redemption officer, you GOTTA get out of there.”
Starscream ignored him and disappeared deeper into his hole in the wall. Bumblebee tried to follow, and Hashtag couldn’t hear the rest of their conversation, but it only seemed to be going in circles anyway. Bee was wrong though…Starscream has hated being alone since he’d come here. The only time she’d seen him going to hide away like this was when it seemed his social battery had been depleted like Nightshade. 
Something was really off about this. Was that corruption junk just getting to him more today? What even WAS that anyway? She still hadn’t found the right chance to ask him about it! Most of her siblings have assumed he went a bit crazy from chaos magic, being by himself with corpses he convinced himself weren’t actually dead, and that was all it was. That made sense enough, but something about it still didn’t feel right.
Eventually, Bee came back looking a mix of annoyed and concerned as he took his seat next to Dad. “He won’t listen to me.”
“What a shame.” Robby said with poorly masked sarcasm, which earned him a punch in the shoulder from Mo. “What??”
“You know what.” She crossed her arms with a tip of her head back. Mo’s signature sass at their brother would be more funny if Hashtag wasn’t so anxious right now. 
Mom leaned forward and raised a hand in a signal for them to knock it off when they’d started a staring contest. “I’m sure he’s fine. We gotta allow him the freedom to choose what he wants to do. You can’t force it, Bee.”
Bee sighed with a servo over his optics. “Yeah. You’re right. It’s just kinda my job, and all.”
Dad patted his arm reassuringly. “And you’re doing great! How ‘bout we kick the night off with some charades huh? You can be on our team!”
Bee smiled. “Alright alright.”
“The party ain’t stoppin’ for any grumpy ol’ bot!” Twitch cheered in an effort to heighten the mood as she brought forth the bowl of prompts.
Yet as they started the game with Dad rapidly throwing out guesses to Bee’s word, Hashtag’s focus just kept drifting back to Starscream. Sure, they could just leave him alone, but she had a sneaking suspicion that wasn’t actually what he wanted either. He always tried to play up the tough guy scrap, and she wasn’t buying it. Maybe she could try and talk to him. It was worth a shot, right?
Hashtag pulled Twitch aside and signaled for her to keep her voice down.
“What’s up sis? You doin’ alright?”
“Yeah! Totally…Um.” Hashtag fiddled with her digits as she parsed together how to go about this. “I’m just thinking about going over to check on Starscream. I don’t wanna bug Bee or Mom about it though. I think he might come out if I'm the one to talk to him. Or at least–I just don’t like not knowing what’s going on, y’know? So…can you fill the fam in after I bounce?” She gave her sister a pleading grin. She didn’t want to just announce her plan to everyone and potentially make Bee feel bad, or Mom to just deny her from doing it. 
Twitch looked back at the others before landing her rather serious gaze back into Hashtag’s optics, and flew closer to put a servo to her shoulder. “Tag, you know I trust you.” 
Hashtag cringed, “Please don’t let there be a “but” at the end of that sentence…”
Twitch snickered a bit. “Nah…I just want you to be careful. Send me a signal as soon as something wack starts going down. We don’t need that con tryna randomly use you as a hostage or something. Soooo I guess the only but would be–are you sure you don’t want me to come with you for backup?”
She thought about the offer for a moment. It would be nice to know Twitch was there to have her back. Screamer could still be pretty creepy sometimes, even if he seemed to be getting better. But if he’s already in anti-people mode right now, less people would probably be better. Plus, He always seemed to be extra…careful (?) when it came to Hashtag. Like…he felt bad about what happened. She didn’t know why he directed it more at her than her siblings, but she could still use that to her advantage. Twitch might just make things more complicated when she’d inevitably get protective, unfortunately.
“Yeah, I’m sure. I’ll be careful, I promise. I’ll text ya updates if he doesn’t immediately kick me out.” She chuckled. Hopefully that won’t happen, but even if he tried, she was determined to not be deterred so easily.
“You better! Your big sis worries you know!”
“A little bit too much sometimes,” Tag teased. 
Twitch flipped down a servo with a roll of her helm. “Pff, I worry the perfect amount. Now get on over there before I think about this too hard, and I’ll fill the fam in after Mo and Thrash finish their turn.” 
“Thanks sis.” They exchanged a thumbs up and split off to fill their prospective rolls.
Hashtag made her way over to Starscream’s room, suddenly feeling more hesitant the closer she got. The ceiling stars inside were set to night mode from the cycle Nightshade had set for them, but it gave more of a spooky sort of lighting that didn’t help. Especially when his optics and those weird sparks stuck out in the dark.
It’d be fine though, it was just Starscream. Not like he’d killed people, kidnapped dads, or anything. Besides, she knew how to get to him. She knew he wouldn’t do anything crazy. Oh Quintus, did she?! She hadn’t thought he’d do that other insane junk before either! Maybe this was a bad idea after all–no. No. It’d be fine. He’s been chill. He’s actually been kinda nice. There’s nothing to worry about!
Hashtag took a deep breath to steady herself, and knocked on the doorframe to announce herself. “Hey–”
Starscream jerked in a similar way he’d done when she first went to see him in the brig (he was even sitting on the floor for some reason), and snapped. “WHAT? Oh…Hashtag.” His wings relaxed a bit when he realized who it was, but then immediately tensed when he seemed to notice something else as well. “NOT helpful you slagging–ugh…” He muttered and pinched the bridge of his nose as he clenched his optics shut. “You shouldn’t be here. Go back to your siblings.” That part actually seemed to be directed at her, even if he seemed to be avoiding looking in her direction now. 
Why did she keep having that feeling that he was talking to someone else?
Hashtag drifted deeper into the room towards the edge of his berth as she crossed her arms. “I think I’m good here, actually. Oooorrr, you could always come out of here with me, and do something way more fun than sitting there being weird.”
He went silent for a while. He kept being all twitchy, and when he finally opened his optics again he just stared blankly at something in the corner. When she sat down on the berth near him, Starscream skooched a bit away from her. He seemed to be having a heck of a time figuring out how to respond to that, with how hard he apparently needed to think about it. She couldn’t exactly tell if the fact that he wasn’t telling her off meant that he did in fact want her company or not. 
Hashtag had gotten better at waiting though. Even if the suspense was killing her. She wanted to ask so many questions, get to the bottom of why he was acting so funky, but she also didn’t want to overwhelm him. When she was in anxiety mode, questions were definitely the last thing she’d want, after all.
“You don’t want me there. Admit it.” Starscream finally said quietly, only barely glancing in her direction. He sounded…sad. 
“Don’t try and feed me lines Screamy, I’m the director around here,” She put a hand to her chest with dramatic flare, “and I in fact do want you there with us! Megs had his redemption arc, and I’m here for yours! We’ve been having a decent time hanging out these past couple weeks haven’t we? I will admit no such falsehoods! Even if you are still a bit of a jerk.”
Starscream dawned a somber smile. “Hah. Right…You know, you and Thundercracker would have been quite the pair to behold. He’d always adored script writing and those absurd novelas.” His wings spazzed again with a bit of lightning as he started tapping one of his digits. Something about that train of thought had his focus start to go into the abyss again. 
Hashtag leaned a bit forward as she fiddled with her own servos. “Really? Who’s that? He sounds pretty cool!” 
“Yes…” Starscream blinked after taking another long moment to elaborate. “He was Skywarp and I’s trinemate before Novastorm joined us from the Rainmakers. He was a strong, albeit sensitive, seeker. We did not always see optic to optic, but I suppose I could relent to the fact that he was certainly better at orchestrating dialogue. Even so, it was often idealistic or fantastical nonsense. Something I am sure you would’ve been enthralled by had you two been allowed such a partnership. He’d always dreamed of making something of his work after the war…” His expression had gone from detached to angry when another flit of those sparks went through him. He growled as his volume rose and his optics flashed red. “Of course, such frivolous slag could NEVER be allowed to come to fruition! Why would it?!” 
Hashtag leaned back a bit, “Did something bad happen to him? Is he stuck on Cybertron or…?”
“He’s dead.”
“Oh.”
Silence.
Man. Hashtag really did NOT have the credentials for this. Should she just focus on being all positive about it? Change the topic? Or, giving condolences was usually the right response in these scenes. 
“I-I’m sorry you lost your…” Was a trinemate kinda like family? “Brother? I would’ve loved to meet ‘im. Thundercracker sounds like he was a pretty awesome dude. Maybe I could dedicate a character to him someday! Is…that why you’re avoiding family time? It sounds like you miss him.”
“...No.”
Well that was a lie. Starscream was avoiding eye-contact again, and according to the internet, that was the biggest indicator someone’s lying. Plus, he still was all droopy like a wet cat. Maybe seeing Hashtag and her siblings hanging out together just made him feel bad about missing his own siblings. Skywarp had left him behind on that ship too after all–oh man he had fam issues. Is that what got him so upset?
But he kept tensing up like there was something else too. Now his eyes were…purple? The purple thing was DEFINITELY new. 
Oh, now they’re back to blue–scrap they went red glitchy again! Now he’s covering his audials and muttering something. What the heck!
Geez, he’s shaking really bad now. Was it something she’d said? Was this some type of anxiety episode she was supposed to snap him out of? What was the best way to do that?? When she did a quick search, it just said to be a persistent, calm force. Don’t be pushy. Ask for permission to touch them. Oh! Remind them of their surroundings! Maybe she could reference the Seekerz poster that he ripped up? Or maybe he did it for trigger reasons…so that probably wouldn’t be a good idea.
Hashtag slowly disconnected from the berth to kneel down next to him, but not too close. “Hey…Just focus on my voice right now, okay? I don’t know what you’re hearing right now–if it’s a flashback or something–but we’re just in the bunker. We’re chillin’ on the floor in your room, and nothing crazy is going on. We can talk about something else if you want.”
Starscream abruptly threw his arm out to aim across the room as a surge of the lightning went through it. His servo retracted to channel the sketchy power into a blaster and shot an intense laser at the wall that, once he stopped blasting it, left a huge, smoldering hole. Wheeljack’s parole thing on his ped let out an EMP burst that made him recoil in on himself again with a startled yelp. A final shot from his servo flew past Hashtag’s helm before he managed to fix it back to normal. 
“WOAH!” She dodged back in surprise at the sudden outburst.
He finally locked eyes with her again, and he looked horrified. Starscream fumbled away from her with the EMP blasted leg seeming to be offline now when he full-on fell backwards after trying to stand. “Get out.”
“What?” But she was trying to help! Why did this have to be so hard!? He obviously shouldn’t be alone right now, right?
“GET OUT!” Starscream actually aimed his gun arm at her as it was shaking and sparking wildly.
Hashtag shot up to her peds and put her servo’s up placatingly. “Hey! C’mon–” 
Twitch sent her a message that popped across her visor: [Is everything alright over there?? What was that?! Are you okay?!]
She frantically sent back a response: [I’m fine! I think- Just give me a sec!] 
“I know you don’t actually want me to leave–you’re in freakout mode, and that’s okay!” Hashtag tried to stay as still as possible and watched the blaster carefully in case he actually did shoot at her. “How about I just step out for a sec to grab a game we can play one on one or something? Y’know, get your mind off of whatever this is–do you like chess?? You seem like the kinda guy that likes chess.”
Starscream didn’t say anything else, and was just staring right through her. Creepy…He seemed to have a lot of space-out moments. Did he even hear what she said…?
Hashtag slowly began backing up towards the door. “I’ll be riiiight back. Just be cool. Okay? Yeah.” She flipped out her wheels and quickly rolled over back to her fam. 
Twitch immediately flew up to check her over, “What happened?”
Bee was up and looking in Starscream’s direction as a shot of red lighting flew out and hit their skate ramp. “What’s with THAT?? Hashtag, you shouldn’t have gone over there without someone watching your back, what if–”
“GUYS. It’s okay! I got it.” Hashtag rolled past them to look for their bigger chess set. “He’s having a bit of a moment, but he wasn’t actually trying to hurt me or anything. It’s just that corruption junk or something.”
“Sweetie,” Mom started softly but her undertone was stern, “We don’t know enough about what the stone did to him, or how unstable that power is. You CAN’T put yourself in the line of fire like that. Leave him be and join us over here.”
Bee nodded, “You should listen to your mom, Hashtag. He already told me off, it’d be best to leave it alone for now.”
 Hashtag moved aside their tic-tac-toe pieces and found the chess box. She hesitated there for a moment with her servos held firmly around its edges. Were they right? Should she just let it go? He did seem pretty upset…but that could be even more reason for her to go back in! She wasn’t afraid of him, she could handle it. He’d seemed way too freaked out about almost hitting her for him to actually want to hurt her directly. 
Twitch hovered behind her, “Tag, you gave it a shot, and I know you really want to fix it, but it isn’t your responsibility to do that alone.”
Hashtag lifted the box and turned to pass her sister on her way back towards the seeker. “I know. And I’m not alone. You guys are still right here if anything actually happens, right? I’m sorry, but I really can’t just leave it and be fine with that. I’d just be thinking about it the whole time I’d be tryna play the games with you guys, and that wouldn’t be fun…So I was thinking I could try and bring game night to him! Just us so maybe it won’t be too overwhelming, but still have something to focus on. I might not be the best at chess, but it seemed like something he’d like more than the luck based things.”
“...That makes sense.” Mo nodded with a casual show of support. “Right mom? Maybe Starscream’s just a wacky introvert.”
Mom sighed. “Fine. I’m proud of you baby, but…just be careful.” Man, everyone keeps acting like Starscream was gonna rip out her spark or something. Hashtag was supposed to be the drama queen around here.
Bee also didn’t seem too thrilled, yet still seemed to understand as he hesitantly sat back down. “Call for backup as soon as there’s more of that lighting stuff. Alright?”
Hashtag flipped out her wheels again to roll backwards and give him a short salute, “Loud and clear!”
“Text me updates!” Twitch called with an extended servo as it was definitely taking a lot for her to let Hashtag go a second time without her.
“I will!” She sang back as she slid in front of Starscream’s doorway. It was sweet how much they were concerned for her, but also a bit silly. Second chances were all about giving that person the benefit of the doubt, but she still knew how to be careful. They had nothing to worry about.
Hashtag slowly entered the room again, popping back out her peds to ready herself just in case he reactively shot her way. Starscream had his servos to his helm again, and his non-booted ped was rapidly bouncing up and down like he was itching to get up and pace. He seemed to be trying to regulate his breathing and muttering different things about the room like those grounding techniques she had shown him. Huh…he actually did keep it in mind. 
“Heyyy, it’s me again.”
His attention immediately whipped her way, but he hesitated like he was calculating what exactly he wanted to say. The fact that she could practically see the equations floating around his head, almost made her laugh. But this was definitely not the appropriate time for that, no matter how hilarious the image was.
Hashtag took the opportunity to creep up closer and sit down across from him as she set down the box. She opened it, and began setting it up with the black pieces on his side while she took white. It was not only kinda funny with the good-guy bad-guy coding, but also a sneaky way of stealing the first move. She’d need to teach him how to play anyway, so it also just made more sense that way.
Starscream was watching her every move closely. That was better than staring into the void. Then even though it really seemed like he wanted to say something–maybe apologize–he kept getting stuck somehow. 
“Okay, so, the gist of this game is that you’re trying to take out your opponent's king before they get yours. First pawn can go two spaces forward, then they can only move one, and they attack diagonally. Rooks go in any straight line until they hit something. Knights do this weird L move. Bishops go diagonally until they hit something. The Queen can basically do literally anything the other pieces can. And the king can move any direction one space.” Hashtag picked up each piece to give a short display of their moves. “He’s more of the damsel in distress with his absolute unit of a kick butt queen! Then, if you completely lock someone in a death grip where there’s no way they can save their king, you call out Checkmate. There’s a bunch of gambits and stuff, but this is more of Nightshade and Twitch’s sort of game honestly. I like to play more casually than worrying about doing a research project for it. I already had to help Twitch with that once when she got WAY too into it. Then Nightshade just always wins. So I’m good at taking the loss if it’ll make you feel better.”
“You shouldn’t be concerned about “making me feel better”, Hashtag.” He finally said something. Starscream was looking down at the board as he took in the rules she’d just thrown at him. No more weird lightning. That was good.
“Well, deal with it.” She retorted casually as she shoved the empty box out of their way. “I know you wanna push everyone away and stuff ‘cause you think everyone’s gonna leave you first, but there will be none of that on my watch! Not everyone sucks, and you can figure out how to not suck too.”
“Hm. Fair enough.”
Hashtag moved her first pawn, “Your turn.”
He actually moved his knight first. Nightshade did that sometimes. She always thought that moving one of the middle pawns was better though. But maybe she was just biased.
They continued though the game silently for a while, then Hashtag got a ping from Twitch. 
[You doing alright? How’s the game going?]
[Yeah we’re chill. I have no idea who’s winning rn lol. Wbu guys?]
[Bee, Dad and Mom are about to destroy us in Pictionary. Apparently they got adult sync mode on or something.]
[Looolll I don’t think that’s a thing. It’s probs mainly cuz Dad is so Bee obsessed that he has like, a plus five mod to his perception on anything Bee related.]
[That’s so unfair.]
“Fullstasis.” Starscream’s monotonous delivery snapped her from her visor conversation. 
“What?”
“Checkmate. Whatever it is. Your…king, is cornered. On one side by this bishop, and the other by the rook behind your knight.”
She stared blankly at the board, “Aw dang it! How’d I not see that?!”
“You were distracted. Plus, I baited you to take my queen, which left you exposed.”
“What the heck man. Aaalllright fine, I’ll reset the board.”
[I’ll ttyl, he already checkmated me somehow, you tellin me about unfair]
[lol, maybe he cheated when you weren’t looking.]
Hashtag rolled her eyes and minimized her chat bubble. She would have noticed him cheating. Maybe…No, she definitely would have. She hadn’t been THAT distracted.
Once the pieces were back in their original places, she moved the same pawn she did the first time. It might seem silly, but unleashing the queen from her pawn-y prison always took priority in Hashtag’s book. Besides, that pawn was obviously the main character, destined to reach the other side on their mission to be the queen's successor should she fall in battle for her king. A thrilling narrative could easily take the bored out of any board game.
Alas, as soon as the brave pawn reached their goal and was set to avenge the queen’s untimely demise, they were struck down by the dark king’s cursed knight. She made their death scene as dramatic as possible, of course. Lifting them up and down from their final square as they reached for the heavens.
“This will not be the last you see of ME! I will rise again as many times as it takes to defeat you, not even death will keep me from taking my revenge!”
Starscream chuckled, “Oh, I am counting on it.”
“Pff, you’ve had better monologues than that.” Hashtag placed the briefly royal pawn to the side, and moved her rook to take his bishop.
“Please. I wasn’t even attempting to supply one. Couldn’t such a rivalry between your odd characters be far more interesting if neither truly wanted it to end?” He took her rook with a pawn. Worth it. That bishop was being far too shady.
She shrugged as she moved another one of her own pawns in an effort to defend. “I guess so. But it’d have to end at some point, no story can go on forever. Ooo, maybe it’d be an enemies to lovers arc!”
“Eugh. No.” He moved his knight to some really weird spot that didn’t seem like it was going to do anything.
“It’d be glorious! It’s like the soulmate trope, where they’re destined to meet and stuff, but instead they’re locked in a reincarnation loop! They’re bound to get over whatever got them mad at each other eventually.” She swooped down her bishop in a position ready to take down his king. 
He immediately canceled her plot with some stupid rook from the other side of the board. “That’s absurd.”
“Okay, fun police. Fantasy doesn’t have to be realistic, Screamy.” Hashtag kicked over his rook with her knight. 
Starscream stared at the board for a long time, before finally moving his queen in range of her king and announcing, “Checkmate.” Again.
“You are way too good at this game for being a noob.”
“Its base principals are actually quite similar to Fullstasis. Skyfire and I used to play any chance we could.” He actually began resetting the pieces himself this time. “So I suppose I am not as inexperienced as you first thought. Surely you have merely been holding back on me.”
“Yeeaaah, tooootally! I’m DEFINITELY going to get you this round, just you watch me!” She was so going to lose. Hashtag had thought that she’d at least be on a more even playing field since it was his first time, but of course he just had to have Cybertronian chess stuff with whoever Skyfire was. They were probably a Decepticon and they played it for war strategies, or something stupidly serious like that with how much of a stiff he was.
The next game went on ridiculously similar to the last two, and it looked like it was going to end the same way. Until Starscream suddenly said she won. That his king was doomed and he was no match for her full power. That didn’t make any sense. How did he notice she won before she did? That wasn’t how it was supposed to work! Did he…LET her win? Usually he hated losing. 
Hashtag confidently accepted his proclamation of her awesomeness. She wasn’t going to call him out on it. Yet it was adorable to think how much of a softy the Decepticon actually was.
A bunch more games passed by with a few close-ish ones, him destroying her, then letting her win others. When suddenly, all the squares aligned as she called out checkmate, and he looked surprised. He actually stared at the board with what looked to be unadulterated disbelief this time, and she started to get worried that he was about to get mad and flip the board or something. But then he laughed, and congratulated her in a far more genuine way than his theatrical applause from before. Like he was proud of her. Wow.
He really was just a big ball of mush under all that ridiculous, evil mastermind scrap after all.
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1alchemistart · 2 months ago
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this is based entirely off of the fact that the "complete without issue" chapter completion trophies are cancelled if you get the eggs, making the eggs the issue LKDSLKF
i just think it would be so funny if we had two mysterious forgotten guys and they hated each other
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dimeadozencows · 26 days ago
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A few dumb ideas I had for a bit hehe
#(queued post)#deltarune#ramb#Spamton#ramb deltarune#deltarune ramb#my art#originally I wanted to post these separately but I decided to just put them all together#I'm not immune to ramb jerma jokes#also yes it's that they don't know meme. they don't know. I'm. purple or something (gets pelted with tomatoes)#and broke ramb is real and true to me. I don't even think he spends money it's just that tenna pays him peanuts. cus funny#Spamtenna's infomercial bs has no power on the skint#anyway. the ramblings of a mad man below. continue reading if youre brave (or bored)#is it a sin to genuinely believe ramb and Spamton could be good?#like they wouldn't talk a lot or get too deep but when they would it'd hit them both exactly where it counts and change them as people?#Spamton harshly calling ramb out on his self erasure and people pleasing- like itd make no goddamn sense to him and he'd rant about that to#ramb's face- and itd put things into perspective for him#and ramb- on purpose or not- bringing out that quiet part of Spam that really wants to care about someone- cus ramb isnt helpless or meek#he's still assertive when it comes to what he's about AND he's also super confident- and that'd be relatable to spam#so ramb would be harder for him to completely over look as a living wet blanket that's not worth his time#?#can I still get into heaven?#this post isn't even about them interacting istg#hear me out. they're both transmasc and socially struggling with it in different ways#idk if this makes sense to anyone other than me but... addispam is both pre and post hrt/op who's identity isn't taken very seriously#and plugboy Ramb is either no/pre/post hrt/op who's forever somewhere between passing and not- but is very visually trans#and that ostracizes him from pretty much everybody because no one on either “side” can relate to him#I would tell myself to stfu but some people said they like my tag rambling gsjdjfk.... and I would NEVER stfu about being trans#if you read all of this i hope you now realize i am not just old and wise but also fucking insane#I'm embarrassed about this one lads hsjdjfk....
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hinamie · 11 days ago
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you...you're...special
#my art#the summer hikaru died#tshd#hikaru ga shinda natsu#hgsn#tshd fanart#yoshiki tsujinaka#tshd yoshiki#yoshiki hgsn#whats this ?? hina finished weekly draws ahead of schedule???#we're so back chat i think the hyperfixation has officially kicked in#i have my red string ive been revisiting old songs i like there r sm visual concepts i want to try to play with#i dont want to say im benching jjk entirely bc im most likely Not but ithink this will b similar to my free! phase of earlier this year#this is my new pool and i am splashing in it gleefully#ANYWay yoshiki my darling son with depression i love u so much#i love how the hair render turned out tbh idk if its much different from what i usually do or if its just the colours#bc iam obsessed w this colour palette also . very bruised very overripe very Hot#the visuals in the show have such a range of being like. washed out-hot to crisp oversaturated-hot to dark foreboding-hot and i am eATING i#i need to draw ALL of it i need to live in the way this show looks and feels#they r truly delivering on the small town sweltering summer horror of it all i feel so lucky to b witnessing it i love art and animation sm#this dialogue line drove me insane btw /pos#'nani ga tokubetsu'/why am i/what makes me special..oughe :((((#got me thinking a lot about yoshiki and guilt/grief/self-worth/identity#which now that ive typed it out are very yuujicoded themes so im not surprised my interest has been piqued#i want to hug him i want to shake him i want to peel him apart like an orange . him and hikaru both
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mochasucculent · 9 months ago
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Was looking at refs and since Viktor has two different leg braces I was wondering, do we think he wears them simultaneously?? The refs don't perfectly line up perspective-wise so it's hard to tell but parts of the one he wears during the Hexcore scenes look like they could maybe line up with the brace that he wears over his clothes, but also some parts really don't and look like they'd be super uncomfy. Also HOW does he take these on and off. Experts weigh in
#viktor#arcane#ig my assumption would be that he wears both simultaneously cause in the scene where he injects the shimmer#it seems implied that he just threw off his clothes and kept experimenting#so one might assume he was already wearing the smaller one underneath#tho it is a funny image to think of him just being like 'one sec i gotta go all the way home and grab my other brace to do this'#he can take off the back brace too cause hes not wearing it in the scene where he's in the hospital bed and you can see his shoulder#where the strap would be#but that one seems to make even less sense functionality wise#everything looks like its screwed together#or screwed INTO him#but only the top bolts on his spine are i think#in the close ups of his back brace model it looks like theres cushioning underneath the parts of it that cover the rest of his spine#so he can take it off. but HOW#what parts of it unscrew/detatch to pull open and off#does it not do that at all and he just has to shimmy it off his shoulder and all the way down his legs to get it off like a romper#the shape language of the designs are cool but like. tell me how it wooorrkkksss#forgive me if im just dumb and dont know at all how braces work and theres a very simple practical explanation for all this#any king who wants to infodump about mobility aids at me....the floor is yours#something to be said i suppose about the fact that zaunites have crazy prosthetics with wild augmentations that work flawlessly#and piltover's like. idk heres some fucking uncomfortable ass metal. salo gets wheelchair in non ada compliant place#they havent ever needed to adapt to accommodate disabilities etc etc#or maybe artists were just like 'heres a design' and everybody clapped and didnt give it a second thought#and then they just turned off the visibility on the mesh when they didnt need it knowing thered not be a scene where its taken off#dont even wanna THINK about what that rig would look like#like 40 different controllers#soft body and rigid hard surfaces needing to move together....#a cold chill just shot up my spine#<- guy who is only an animator and doesnt know how to rig#forgive the magic wand tool with zero cleanup. i am lazy
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chell-min · 8 months ago
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my hands still remember
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lgbtlunaverse · 2 years ago
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Nothing will dispell the "the curtains were just blue" myth faster than writing something yourself, because the amount of pretentious symbolism i am putting in my silly little fanfics is ridiculous. I mean SO much with these words, literally every single one of them. This fic has twenty five typos and zero correct uses of punctuation but if there's curtains you bet your ass I put thought into what colour they were.
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chloesimaginationthings · 1 year ago
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FNAF movie Abby has better luck than Elizabeth..
(Original post by @dont_nes_wit_me)
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starry-bi-sky · 25 days ago
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BBAU Concept #28426
Ghosts are incredibly difficult to track visually due to their bright colors, glowing, and their invisibility and fast flight. As a result, Danny learned to rely on other ways to track ghosts during fights.
Mainly: ectoplasm frequencies/vibrations.
It’s conceptually similar to how you can determine who someone is by the vibrations of their footsteps. Danny turns his focus away from his sight to his other senses to listen and feel for the shifts in his environment. Specifically through the ambient ectoplasm.
If that doesn’t work, or he’s not sensing anything, he sends out a ‘ping’ via Soulhum [ghostspeak]. Soulhum is a language that relies on core vibrations and ectoplasm to work. So Danny sends out a ping through the air, then listens and waits and feels for any density shifts nearby.
It’s like being able to feel when someone sits down on the couch even if you dont see them because you can feel the weight shift. Or if you’ve ever been on a ropes course, feeling when someone steps on the rope you’re on because it jostle the rope and you can feel the vibrations.
Danny thinks this was a natural course of action to take after the nth time he was blinded in a fight, and the hundredth time Skulker snuck up on him during one of his hunts because Danny’s sense doesn’t work if he knows a ghost is there.
His rogues, however, would beg to differ.
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ciderjacks · 1 year ago
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An old friend
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whatdoinose · 9 months ago
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you don't stop getting percieved as whatever sex they assume you first had when you come out btw.
come out as a trans man to your school? youre a weird girl that is also trans. you are hated. you have 0 of the privelege of being treated as not a woman and all the horribleness of bigotry. you are whatever gender that will harm you most.
.
"oh sorry u cant go on this school trip because yr not a girl and they dont wanna room with you and if you room with any men you are horribly unsafe"
"oh sorry you don't wanna be sexually harassed? well yr a man who cares? this is punching up. be a man why are you upset?"
"mm you have no say here actually cuz youre a GIRL and girls don't have a voice here. ur body my choice tehe"
and many more.
.
all of these things can be directed at the same person. you are not more priveleged than other trans people cuz some losers out there have the most basic radfem ass understanding of how oppression works. you culd pass perfectly but the moment they know you are trans you will experience the harmful intersectionality between misogyny and transphobia. to deny that ever happened and that there are complex experiences out there is to deny trans people of their oppression. no matter your intention it is horrible and self harming to the community.
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stealingpotatoes · 7 months ago
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heres a crappy venn (??) diagram explaining the dynamics in the tl4j time travel au bc it's easier than trying to write a full plot
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screwpinecaprice · 3 days ago
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The cynical boomers* and the bright-eyed honeymoon phasers meet at a bar...
(*They're all the same ages)
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hinamie · 1 month ago
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@itafushi-week day six: rain | fantasy
I wanted to know you / and before I knew it, you became special
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poorly-drawn-mdzs · 9 months ago
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Who is this sassy lost child?
[First] Prev <–-> Next
#poorly drawn mdzs#mdzs#lan wangji#a-yuan#A-Yuan knows how to to utilise his big wet eyes to get treats. What a little legend.#The crowd comments about LWJ being 'daddy' and WWX being 'the mother' are a little too 'fan-service bait' for me.#So I am personally reimagining it as another layer of 'misinterpretation of a more complex situation' commentary.#I like how the different styles of interacting with children WWX an LWJ exhibit say so much about their own childhoods.#We - human beings in the real world - take two lessons from how we were parented: What we valued and what we wish we had.#LWJ leaning into indulgence is him pushing back against his own childhood of asceticism. It's something he didn't have - so he gives it.#WWX on the other hand has been *so* defined by his drive to indulge. And here he is the restrictor!#It takes a bit more to see what's going on here. The factors are not singular.#but to keep it in theme with LWJ; I'd propose it is partly his way of establishing structure when he did not have it as a child.#Both approches are a way of saying 'I didn't have this and I wish I did.'#With LWJ it's pretty obvious why...but WWX? What is at your core? What is your regret towards a lack of restriction?#Or...What benefit do you think it gives this child to learn the harsh lessons of going without?#Did it make you strong when you were a child? Do you think it is just the nature of the world and we all must learn it?#How we interact with children is such a fascinating topic to delve into our psychology and neuroses.#In a more light hearted turn of topic:#WWX confirmed to be 'person taking the car to the drive through to order one black coffee for himself' on the triangle spectrum.#LWJ is saying 'we have food at home' as he is opening his wallet ready to order for everyone.#(Technically this is comic 213 but yippee! We are in the 200's now! Thank you all so much for reading and cheering me on!)
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tastefulbean · 1 year ago
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My nuzi designs! N towers over everyone
(No shade to Liam I just think it would be funny if Uzi dressed more like a scene kid LOL)
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