#though Abby has been WAY more successful in that regard

[chloesimaginationthings]

FNAF movie Abby has better luck than Elizabeth..

(Original post by @dont_nes_wit_me)

[lucky-dreamfisher]

Queer Subtext in The Illusion of Living - Part 5/5

It’s time to address the elephant in the room: Henry.

Joey tries very, very hard to ‘no homo’ his relationship with the man:

“His presence was helpful, I can happily admit, but his absence was even more so. Not having him at the studio ended up being one of the best things that could have happened to it. Of course, the funny thing is, I couldn't have not had him without having him in the first place. Just like you can't appreciate the light if you haven't spent time in the dark, so too does a person's absence become clear only if he has been around.” TIOL, page 154

“A letter from Henry. You might not think I'd keep such a thing, but I do. I have no ill will toward the man as you know. Him leaving, as I said, was the best thing that could have happened to the studio. His letter reminds me of that.” TIOL, page 218

The lady doth protest too much, methinks.

The only hint we get regarding Joey’s true feelings for Henry is the following note by Nathan:

“NateA: Joey has always been a professional person, far more so in many ways than me. That is why this section of the book is so forgiving of the man who abandoned the studio he helped create. Joey can't help but see the good in people. That being said, as a good friend of Joey's, I know that Henry's departure was a great upheaval for him and a great personal betrayal. Joey never truly forgave Henry, and I don't think he should have felt obligated to. The fact that Joey is so gracious in this part of the book is a reflection of his incredible generosity in allowing Henry Stein to be stainless in the eyes of history. I think, had he lived longer, Joey might have in later years called it his greatest illusion.” TIOL, page 155

I’m very surprised by the harshness in Nathan’s tone here. Especially since Henry appears to believe that he and Joey have parted on good terms, and Joey admits that they have continued to exchange letters for a while after Henry’s departure. We’ve also seen Henry’s note to Joey in the game, and it comes across as warm and supportive:

It really doesn’t sound like anything ugly happened between him and Joey. So then why are both Joey and Nathan convinced that Henry is a monster?

While I can believe that Joey is pathetic enough to consider anyone who slights him his worst enemy, Nathan comes across as a more level-headed person. So for him to voice his approval for Joey’s petty grudge must mean that he knows something that we don’t. But what could it be?

Honestly, nothing else comes to mind except for romantic heartbreak. It’s the only thing that could justify a man holding such a deep grudge for so many years. This isn’t Joey’s first friendship that grew apart over the years - his army friends have moved on with their life as well. It’s a normal part of life and there’s nothing in TIOL that would suggest Joey is unable to cope with that. We also know that the studio did fine for quite some time after Henry’s departure, so it’s not like Henry left Joey deep in debt. Henry wasn’t even the only animator at the studio:

“When the studio opened I surrounded him with artists of all skill levels, and the Writing Department had its own de facto leader in Mr. Hemmings, and so the whole of Creative was well managed for that first year of the company before I had to part ways with Henry.“ TIOL, page 155

And so we’re left with only one rational explanation: that Joey isn’t so much hurt by Henry leaving his job, as by the fact that Henry left specifically for the sake of his marriage.

Try as I might, I found no reference to Linda in TIOL. Even though Joey claims to have been friends with Henry for many years, he makes zero mention of ever having met Linda. While there are some hints that Henry wasn’t yet married to her at the time when he and Joey opened the studio together (such as the fact that he claims he hasn’t seen her in “days” even though he presumably slept at home, implying that he and Linda weren’t living together at the time. A shopping list among his notes in the Handbook also suggests that he cooked his own meals, which would be unusual for a married man with a demanding job), the two were already a couple by then, and must have known each other for a while already. Surely, as Henry’s friend, Joey would have met her?

Even when talking about Henry leaving, Joey uses a cryptic language:

“Henry left for his own reasons, and the correspondence between us became less and less. To be honest, it was almost like a weight off when he left. He had grown more sensitive as the studio became more successful and giving him pep talks had become exhausting for me. All the good qualities he brought, the hard work and diligence, were being undermined by a restless need for something different. Something that wasn't Bendy. I will never understand that drive. Bendy was and is perfection.“ TIOL, page 177

In DCTL Norman claims that Henry left to spend time with his wife. Why doesn’t Joey say that? It doesn’t make him look bad to admit that an employee left to enjoy a quiet family life. It’s almost like he refuses to acknowledge Linda’s existence at all. Like it’s too painful for him to speak of her.

Perhaps the “personal betrayal” that Nathan is referring to is related to Henry choosing a real family, over the “studio family”, and the possibility of having a real child, as opposed to a fictional one?

The symbolic image of Bendy as a child shows up multiple times in the game: for example the drawing from Henry appears to depict Bendy, Alice and Boris as a happy family, with Bendy holding onto their hands like a child would:

There’s also Alice using a womb imagery to describe the ink machine:

And of course, the final monologue is centered on Henry’s choice to pursue a family:

That monologue is very interesting if we assume Joey to be gay. Because a gay man would never have been able to follow Henry’s road. Gay!Joey could never choose to have a real family with a man he loved, because that option was denied to him by the homophobic society he was living in. The studio is the closest thing to a family that gay!Joey could ever hope to have. 

And evidently, that was not enough for Henry.

If Joey’s indeed gay, that must have felt incredibly unfair to him - knowing that he had no chance of happiness in marital bliss from the start, through no fault of his own. This would explain his desire to create a real, living, breathing Bendy, no matter the cost, just to prove to Henry that Joey’s “child” can be just as real as the one Linda could give him.

“Bendy was Joey's child, and he felt just as strongly about Bendy as I feel about my flesh-and-blood son.“ TIOL, page 2

This idea of an illusory choice very much resembles the choice between the Angel Path and the Devil Path in Chapter 3. It’s the only choice that Henry ever gets to make in the game, yet no matter which way he chooses, he still ends up in the same corridor. Some of the golden messages highlight his helplessness:

The symbolic meaning of the choice between the Angel and the Devil also shows up TIOL. There’s a scene in the book, where Joey writes a play about an Angel and a Devil fighting over the soul of a human man. Eventually, the Devil confesses that he doesn’t want the human to make his choice, because then one of them would have to leave. The play was supposed to end with the man making his choice, but according to Joey they lacked a third actor, so the ending was never played out.

I believe that the play is symbolic of the relationship between Henry and Joey, specifically with regards to Henry choosing a relationship with Linda over his friendship with Joey.

There are several reasons that lead me to believe this:

The human in the play making a choice between the Angel and the Devil is reminiscent of Henry choosing between Devil Path and Angel path in BATIM.

The play highlights that the Devil is on the left side of the human, while the Angel is on his right side:

“ANGEL: Spending my time with a devil has been an enlightening experience. Working with you over these years with you sitting on that left shoulder, so far and yet so near, all our debates, they were invigorating for the spirit. 

DEVIL: I won't miss you! Fighting all the time, trying to trick you into agreeing with me, trying to push you off that right shoulder of yours. The violence and the anger. I won't miss it at all!”, TIOL page 89

Much like the Devil Path is on the left side in the game, while the Angel path is on the right side:

The Devil is obviously a stand-in for Bendy. Joey even dances on the stage at one point, and one of Bendy’s nicknames is “The Dancing Demon”. Joey also claims that the Devil from the play was an inspiration for Bendy:

“Let's start with the basic idea of a cartoon.You need a main character. Someone who has adventures and who the audience relates to." I did. I needed that. I needed a character who didn't just reflect the general population back to itself, but a more exciting version. I had no interest in moralizing, besides I didn't think moralizing was particularly realistic. People don't see the world as one populated by do-gooders. I thought of the angel in my play. She could never be a lead character. The devil on the other hand…” TIOL, 165

The fact that Joey claims the ending was never played out is strongly reminiscent of the missing ending of the Tombstone Picnic

It’s possible that Joey is lying about the ending not having been played out, to hide Henry’s role in the success of the play, much like he removed his part in Tombstone Picnic. After all, what would be the point of writing a play for 3 actors, when you only have 2? Why not ask someone to play the 3rd?

Although the play itself is centered more on the relationship between the Devil and the Angel, rather than their relationship with the human, there is still a strong queer symbolism in the play:

“Abby shifted nervously next to me the whole evening. She was in a dress for the first time in a long time, white and soft. I was pleased she'd come in character. For my part the only red thing I owned was a garish bow tie, so that was all I was able to contribute visually.” TIOL, page 82

The angel is played by a woman, who usually wears men’s clothing, but of course, the Angel being a symbol of Christian values couldn’t possibly be portrayed breaking the gender norms. She had to wear a dress, though Abby is clearly uncomfortable in it. She’s essentially performing heteronormative feminity. Next to her we have Joey as the Devil, dressed in a red bow tie, which as I’ve mentioned in the first part of this analysis, used to be a symbol of homosexuality. 

This contrast between the uncomfortably heteronormative Angel and flamboyantly queer Devil is striking. It’s also very much in line with the views of the society in the 1920s. For something to be the symbol of purity and goodness, it has to be heterosexual, and the Devil is queer, because he’s also the symbol of sin.

That symbolism could be indicative of Joey’s own internalized homophobia. Back in his army days, his friends used to bully him for breaking gender norms. Joey likes to present himself as the hero, who was easily able to outsmart the bullies, but many of his later remarks in the book and in DCTL show that some of that attitude has left a deep mark on him.

The symbolism could also be intentional. Joey boasts about having personal ties to Noel Coward, a real life gay playwright, who was known for his many affairs with men, and for putting an ungodly amount of queer symbolism in his works:

“The old woman took a liking to me, and she was nice enough. Besides, her connections were incredible. She knew everyone, she even had the playwright Noel Coward come to stay with her whenever he was in town.” TIOL, page 144

There’s a lot of evidence pointing to the play being symbolic of Henry’s choice between his relationship with Linda and with Joey. But it’s also symbolic of Henry’s choice between Bendy, and a real child. The studio family, and a traditional family. Heteronormative relationship vs a queer relationship. 

Although there’s no indication in canon that Henry might be bisexual, he doesn’t need to be. The game has beaten into our heads that the “choice” is an illusion. Henry was never going to choose the Devil, or at least that’s what Joey believes. Although we’re never told what choice the human in the play was going to make, we’re told that he was supposed to be dressed in white, which suggests that he chose the Angel. 

“(The door stage right opens. A man all in white enters calmly and chooses a seat, brushes it off carefully and sits. He takes his hat off and holds it gingerly in his lap.) (Quiet.) (Curtain.) THE END” TIOL, page 91

That might be why the Devil in the play confesses that he doesn’t want the human to make his choice, fearing that one of them will have to leave once such a choice is made:

“DEVIL: You think he has made a choice? 

ANGEL: It is possible. 

DEVIL: Do you think he might be all bad? 

ANGEL: I hope he is all good. 

DEVIL: If he is all bad, my job here is done. If he is all good, you can go home. 

DEVIL: Strange. If we win we also lose. You would think that would be something I would find delightful. 

ANGEL: You would think I would love to make such a personal sacrifice.” TIOL, page 89

The line about a “personal sacrifice” is very interesting in this context. The Angel and the Devil clearly care for each other and for the human, and don’t want their relationship to come to an end. Though the Devil in the play seems to make gestures that the audience interprets as romantic in nature, Joey insists that it isn’t the case:

“I leaned in and placed a hand on Abby's knee. There was a gasp from someone in the audience, but I knew Abby wouldn't be flustered by it. That wasn't the nature of our relationship.” TIOL, page 89 

It makes me wonder if perhaps Linda and Joey used to be friends at some point, and both competed over Henry’s attention.

There’s a much overused trope in fiction where two men compete over a woman, which ends up ruining their friendship. It would be really interesting and subversive to see a man and a woman competing over a man instead.

EDIT: I can’t believe I forgot to add this part:

"Joey, thanks for coming," said Henry, approaching from behind us. I turned to look at him He had dressed up for the event but every item of clothing looked slightly wrong. The sleeves of his shirt a bit short, his vest a bit long, his tie askew. He smiled, though, with such confidence that I couldn't help admire him. I still do.” TIOL, page 160

Joey fell for Henry’s smile, how romantic!

“We watched in silence as he worked. Despite his lack of genius, to this day, I will always say that watching Henry work was a real pleasure.“ TIOL, page 173

“It's fascinating. Henry was never the showman like I was. He didn't tend to be easily remembered by those who met him when we did business. I was invariably the face of the company, the one introduced first at a gala, the one to whom people slipped their business cards.Yet in the end he ended up setting up camp in this small corner of my memory. I can't deny that he is tied to the creation of Bendy, to the creation of the studio itself. That at one time, in one small apartment, one too warm evening, we had shaken hands. That once upon a time we had been partners. He'll always be there, in the dark recesses of my mind. Always linked to me that way. Funny how the forgettable man is now forever in my mind” TIOL, page 177

[ilovejevsjeans]

LGBT+ History Month: Mike Beuttler - Formula 1's only known gay male driver

Mike Beuttler raced against many of the all-time Formula 1 greats in the early 1970s - and then disappeared.Even the British driver's closest motorsport friends heard nothing from him over the final 14 years of his life.Then, in late 1988, they learned from his family that he had died in Los Angeles of Aids, aged 48.Beuttler remains the only known gay male driver to have competed at the highest level of motorsport.

He did so at a time when F1 was an especially macho environment. James Hunt, the 1976 world champion, famously had the phrase, 'Sex, the breakfast of champions' embroidered on his overalls and many drivers had reputations for being womanisers.There were no organisations such as Racing Pride, which launched in 2019 to promote LGBT+ inclusivity in motorsport.

So how did his friends view him?

"Mike gave it absolutely everything on track - he wasn't a natural talent but he worked hard," former motorsport journalist and friend Ian Phillips told BBC Sport.

"I knew he was gay, but it didn't matter in my world."

The racing world of the 2020s is a very different place to that of the 1970s.Matt Bishop, a Racing Pride ambassador and Aston Martin F1 chief communications officer, said: "In the early 1970s, people didn't talk about being gay.

"In the United Kingdom, it was only in 1967 that homosexuality was legalised between two consenting adults in private.

"Why would Beuttler be out and proud? He wouldn't. I don't think the word 'out' really existed when he was racing.

"Beuttler did bring a girlfriend and different women to races, perhaps it was a convenient disguise, because it stopped the tongues wagging."

'Blocker' Beuttler's racing career

Beuttler raced in F1 for three seasons, from 1971 to 1973. As well as Hunt, he faced other world champions in Sir Jackie Stewart and Niki Lauda.His path to the sport began to open up after he had success in the late 1960s in Formula 3 and then moved to Formula 2, most notably winning at Vallelunga in Italy in 1971.Phillips met Beuttler in 1970, and got to know the driver well as he competed in Formula 2.

"He was quiet compared to Hunt or [British driver and motorcycle racer] Mike Hailwood and an incredibly friendly guy, but beneath that was a fierce determination and he took racing immensely seriously," said Phillips.

Beuttler got the reputation of being a very rough racer, because he did not like being overtaken and would block anyone who got in his way - and the nickname 'Blocker' was born.In 1971, Beuttler made his F1 debut at the British Grand Prix in a privately funded March car.His career was financed by stockbroker friends and in 1972 he raced as a semi-works March driver, with Lauda and Ronnie Peterson as his team-mates at the Canadian Grand Prix.

"He probably wasn't ready for F1 when he joined, but had a great team of backers," said Phillips.

"He made up for it with his determination and every time he climbed out of the car you knew he had been at work - he was sweating and his eyes were bulging."

In 1973, Beuttler achieved his best-ever finish, seventh in the Spanish Grand Prix. Overall, he scored five top-10 finishes in his career.But then the UK was plunged into financial turmoil by the 1973 oil crisis, and his team did not have the money to stay in the sport.Aged 34, Beuttler retired from racing.Ann Bradshaw, a motorsport PR consultant who first met Beuttler in the early 1970s, said:

 "There was no stigma with Mike, he was a nice gentle person - everyone knew he was gay, it wasn't a secret and it was accepted."

'He just disappeared, completely'

After Beuttler left motorsport he moved to the USA, spending time in San Francisco and Los Angeles.

"I suspect it would have been easier for him to live the lifestyle he wanted in LA and San Francisco, whereas being gay in London was a more secretive thing," said Phillips.

"He probably wanted to find his own generation where he could be open and free."

Beuttler's life in the USA remains a mystery, though there are reports he went into the business world.

"He just disappeared completely," said Phillips. "I don't know anyone who had any contact with him, apart from family."

What is known is that Beuttler died of Aids on 29 December 1988.

"His sister phoned me when he died," said Phillips.

"She phoned out of the blue one day and said, 'I am the sister of Mike Beuttler and I am very sad to tell you that he died of Aids in LA.'

"He was such a nice bloke."

'LGBT+ people have always been part of motorsport'

Since Beuttler's death, several motorsport drivers have come out as gay. Le Mans class winner Danny Watts came out in 2017, a year after retiring, while in the W Series there is LGBT+ representation on track in fellow British drivers Abbie Eaton and Sarah Moore. Richard Morris, co-founder of Racing Pride and a driver for the Praga team in the Britcar Endurance Championship, came out as gay in 2018, when already established in motorsport.

"I took my boyfriend to a race before I came out when I was racing in Formula Ford and he was there as my friend," said Morris, 30.

"I had women around me at tracks who were my friends. Some people knew I was gay but I wasn't out - I think that is very similar to Beuttler's experience."

Morris said coming out to the motorsport community has been a positive experience.

"I already had a boyfriend for seven or eight years but I had not told people in motorsport," he said.

"You worry it might affect your relationship with mechanics, you worry you might get extra scrutiny on social media and you worry sponsors will think it is a risk.

"But my team was very supportive and lots of other drivers started putting Racing Pride stickers on their cars - it has been brilliant."

Beuttler's legacy

With LGBT+ people being more regularly accepted and celebrated in motorsport now, how is Beuttler remembered today?

"Regarding his position in the pantheon of LGBT+ sporting heroes, it is time he is rehabilitated," said Bishop.

"If he was alive, he would have been interviewed about Section 28 and gay marriage."

Section 28 was a law that affected England, Wales and Scotland, passed in 1988 by a Conservative government that stopped councils and schools "promoting the teaching of the acceptability of homosexuality as a pretended family relationship".

There were mass protests by LGBT+ campaigners and the law was repealed in Scotland in 2000, before England and Wales did the same in 2003. Same-sex marriage became legal in England and Wales in March 2014, in Scotland in December 2014 and in Northern Ireland in January 2020.

"It is really interesting to look at Beuttler's story now - it shows LGBT+ people have always been part of motorsport and they have been really successful," said Morris.

"It also reminds us of the challenges faced." (X)

[100hearteyes]

First chapter of a fic I will likely never continue. Canon divergent. Unedited and riddled with typos. ~5k words.

Lexa straightens her posture as her horse halts just after the forest and at the first sign of civilization ahead. It huffs and hits the soil with one of its hoofs, expressing its disquiet. She shares the sentiment; Skaikru are very much an odd and unpredictable body in the grand scheme of things still.

The Sky clan had been at war with Trikru for over a decade since falling to earth, seeing as they had occupied Lexa's people's land,whrnh the Ice Nation offered them an alliance. Trikru yielded, aware that fighting both clans at once would be foolish. At the time, the Commander was from the Blue Cliff clan and no more than a religious figure, indifferent to the quells between clans. Lexa has changed that over the past few years — and is intent on continuing to do so.

"Heda." She turns her head only slightly to her right, just enough to be able to look at Gustus from the corner of her eye. "I do not have a good feeling about this."

"We both know that if it were up to you I would be locked up in the tower and never come out." She softens, regards her bodyguard fully. "You worry too much, Gustus. The Sky People will be a valuable asset for the Coalition."

"They think themselves superior just because they have guns and tech," he counters with distrust. "They are dishonourable in combat and gloat about it."

"The Coalition needs them," Lexa snaps, and that is the end of it. "And, hopefully, they need the Coalition, too."

Arkadia, capital of the Sky clan, is by all means an impressive sight, very different to anything Lexa has ever seen. Everything is metal and a heavy grey; from the wall protecting it to the pair of guard lookout towers, to the massive gates with the 'Arkadia' lettering on top. From her elevated position, Lexa can see a main building that rises slightly above the wall and takes up about a quarter of the whole area, and other smaller buildings sprinkled about the space left vacant by it. It is evident that while the Arkadians had no say on the positioning of the main building, they planned the city around it, since everything else is so geometrically placed, including the grey dirt roads that trace an intricate cobweb that winds through the empty spaces and gives the city an air of concrete orderliness. However, everything pales in comparison to the giant wheel propped just to the side of the main building, presumably what was once meant to surround the ship that Sky People lived in up in space before they fell to earth. It is clearly one of the few things that have resisted the decades unadulterated, even if it has been repurposed, as Lexa assumes from the sillhouettes of people climbing up and down its inner arms. It is a formidable sight, even for those more averse to the marvels of the world that Skaikru left back in space and have ever since tried to recreate on Earth. Nonetheless, Arkadia as a whole is an obtrusive presence in the midst of the greenery and unwavering power of nature. It makes Lexa almost squirm on her saddle, uncomfortable with such a demonstration of stubborn inadaptation — no village, town, or city should be so violently at odds with its surroundings.

They approach the city slowly and with only half the warriors she brought along, so as to indicate that they mean no harm — and make sure no one will frame it otherwise. Lexa's retinue is mostly made up of warriors, amongst them her personal guards, but she was also careful to include two of her most trusted diplomats; people who will negotiate in her stead when need be and will work to make sure that those on her side remain there. They are people who work the complicated web of politics and favor better even than her.

As they come closer to Arkadia, its inhabitants crowd close to the walls, looking at Lexa and her crew as though they are wild, fascinating animals. Such is the consequence of isolation. Lexa watches as a small group gathers just outside the walls and recognises Marcus Kane, chancellor of the Sky People, at the head of the greeting party.

Finally her group come to a stop just a few feet from the Arkadians and Markus of the Sky People steps up to greet Lexa with a genuine, welcoming smile. "Commander," he says in greeting and extends his hand. "It's such a great honor to have your visit."

She nods and grips his forearm. Marcus of the Sky People is a pleasant man, both in appearance and personality. His luscious hair and thick beard frame kind eyes and a jovial smile that make him extremely likable. Soft-spoken and invested in every conversation he takes part in regardless of its actual importance, Marcus of the Sky People is a dependable fatherly figure. He is also fierce and wise, however, and Lexa likes him even more for that.

"Chancellor Marcus Kane," she greets back, careful to use his full name, as Sky People do. "Thank you for receiving us on such short notice."

She lets go of his arm and lets her hand rest on the pommel of her sword. "We're just lucky you're here at all," he replies honestly, then turns to the rest of his group. "Please give your warmest welcome to the Commander, Lexa kom Trikru." She appreciates the effort to use her mother tongue — details like that can make the difference between a successful deal and a failed one, for it builds bridges where there are none. Marcus is a proficient builder of diplomatic bridges.

The first person to step forward is a woman in her forties like Marcus, though the lines of her face are more tired and severe. She looks like a woman who looks death in the face every day and when she extends her calloused hand for a greeting, Lexa realises that is exactly the case. "I'm Abby Griffin." Lexa clasps Abby's forearm and she spies a special brand of kindness in brown eyes that tells her that this woman is not only a caretaker, but also a mother. "I'm a council member and Chief Doctor of Arkadia and Skaikru in general."

"It is a pleasure to make your acquaintance," Lexa says as Abby takes a step back and a new member of the greeting party comes forward. "Raven, I assume," Lexa nods, clued in by the girl's oil-splattered cheek. "Your fame precedes you, tech master."

The girl beams, dark eyes shining brightly, and salutes. Her ponytail swings with the movement. "At your service, Commander. I hope your visit proves fruitful."

"That makes two of us, Raven of the Sky People."

"I'm Bellamy Blake." Lexa turns to the man that has stepped forward and clasps his outstretched hand instead of his forearm. She can tell that this is a man who likes things done his way; insecure enough to need to underline his status. "I'm in charge of all things military and security."

"A general, then," Lexa recognises. "Are you Octavia Blake's fabled brother?" She is careful to use her Sky People surname and not her Trikru suffix lest he become even less friendly.

His nose crinkles and his freckles dance angrily beneath dark eyes and unruly, short curls of hair. "Haven't seen her in almost a year since she got it in her head that she wants to be a barbarian."

Lexa lets the comment slide. "She is a fine warrior. My people are very lucky to have her."

He grunts and gives way to the next council member, a middle-aged woman with a gentle smile but a fear of the unknown in the way she clasps Lexa's forearm. "Hannah Green. Farming, hunting, and other resources," the woman greets. "Council member, too."

Lexa nods her acknowledgement and watches as Hannah kom Skaikru steps backward. Her replacements are two tall, robust men, their dark skin, eyes, and mannerisms nearly identical, though the younger one is more genuine while the older one has an air of arrogance about him.

"I'm Wells Jaha and this is my father, Thelonious," the young man says pleasantly, and Lexa likes him right away. She clasps Wells's forearm, then Thelonious's, and even their grips are different. How can two men look so alike and yet behave so differently?

Just from the introductions, Lexa is slightly worried. Bellamy, Abby, Hannah, and Thelonious will vote against entering the Coalition; a number that exceeds that of Marcus, Raven, and Wells. The chancellor has the deciding vote, but it will be for naught if the numbers do not even out.

The final person steps forward at last. A girl around Lexa's age, with blonde hair and determined blue eyes. "My name is Clarke," the girl greets, her voice husky and only moderately welcoming. Lexa studies the girl, looks for twitches and tells, but cannot read her at all. It is worrying; the last thing she needs at this point is a wildcard. She can tell, however, that her own first impression is lacking. "I'm in charge of urban and regional planning, and foreign affairs." Lexa extends her arm for greeting, but Clarke leaves her hanging. A golden, sceptical eyebrow is quirked and Clarke's eyes are narrowed, and it is all Lexa can do not to growl at such insolence. "Let me decide first if you're worth shaking hands with."

Lexa takes a deep breath and tells herself that punishing Clarke kom Skaikru's impertinence is not worth wasting the chance to draw the Sky People into her Coalition. So she purses her lips and clasps her hands behind her back, letting her posture straighten and her chin rise with defiant authority. Her eyes burn into Clarke's. "Very well." She turns to Marcus, who seems to have blanched considerably. "Please lead me to my quarters, Marcus of the Sky People. The day has been long and we have much to discuss tomorrow. I would like to rest."

~~~~

Arkadia isn't home. But it also is, because she has never known another place. Nevertheless, she has never felt at home inside its dull grays, angry lights, and obstinate refusal to fully mesh with its surroundings.

Clarke isn't one to fantasise about what could be; she locks her dreams inside drawings of another life and lives what is instead. There is no space, no time to wonder on the ground.

Still she can't help musing about a world where she would be able to travel between clans freely and adopt another as her own. She can't help musing about a world where they wouldn't have to fend off attacks from the other clans, even if the Ice Nation has helped them through the more difficult times. That is exactly why she finds the idea of a coalition so appealing — it's eating away at her, however, to entertain the idea of it being led by a tyrant like Commander Lexa.

She's heard all the stories and she knows which ones are true. She knows of the Commander's thirst for glory and power. She knows of her ruthlessness and disregard for human life. She knows of the Commander's penchant for spilling blood and autocratic style. She knows and she saw it all in the Commander's conceited bearing, in the cold press of full lips, in the raised chin of a despot; she saw it in the way the Commander's eyes flashed with anger, the only display of emotion during an otherwise frigid interaction.

Yet the cry for change reverberates through the halls of Arkadia, which thrums with the need to be more. And Clarke... Clarke wants the best for her people. Always. So if she deems joining the Coalition the right step to take, she will vote for it no matter how tough a pillow it will be to swallow.

Another tough pill to swallow? Kane's reproach for the way she talked to the Commander.

"It was unacceptable, Clarke. You embarrassed the Commander and risked being beheaded on the spot." It means something when Zen Kane gives you such a talking-to. "You shamed us all."

"Stop right there, Marcus." Oh, yes. Your mother defending you does make the situation a hundred times better. It's not at all ignored for being biased. "I think you're being unfair. Yes, Clarke should've minced her words, but she didn't same us."

Kane's eye roll is exactly the reaction Clarke's expected. "Look, Abby. I know you're her mother—"

Abby's affronted look is even more predictable. "This has nothing to do with—"

"Enough!" Kane and Abby as well as the rest of the council look at her. Clarke looks at each of the six other faces sitting around the semicircle-shaped table and then at Kane, who stands alone at the straight side of it. She sighs. "I made a mistake. I put us in a difficult position. I'm sorry."

Kane nods his approval. The small, dark room lends him a more solemn, even poetic appearance, and the way he cups his bearded chin while he thinks makes him look like a philosopher. "Thank you for acknowledging your mistake, Clarke," he says kindly as he lays a companionable hand on her shoulder. "There will have to be consequences, however."

She expected nothing less. Despite the little show she put on before the Commander, Clarke knows her place. "I understand, Chancellor," she nods, and feels more insecure the moment his fatherly hand leaves her shoulder. Her dad died years ago and no one will ever replace him, but the way Kane behaves towards her reminds her a little bit of what it was like to have a father. She's grateful for it; she misses the comfort of her dad's hugs and the pride in his smile.

The moments before he finally doles out her punishment remind her why she doesn't like this room — it's cold and dark and has an ominous feeling to it that makes her feel trapped. Like everything discussed in her is always too serious. It often is. She much prefers the strategy meeting room with its rectangular, waist-high table that causes them to stay standing and its glass-like boards with maps and notes written into them with colorful pens. It's also larger — so much larger. It's better illuminated, too.

Finally Kane stops thinking and meets her eyes. "You will be the Commander's shadow. An ambassador. You will show Arkadia and whatever else necessary to her and you will be her guide around here. You will make sure she has everything she needs and you will handle everything relating to her presence here."

Clarke can't help but scoff. "You mean I'll be her damn babysitter," she challenges.

"Yes," Kane acquiesces, not giving in an inch. "That's exactly what you will be."

"You can't be serious," she presses, because this is too heavy a punishment for her offence.

He sighs and runs a hand through his hair, then scratches at the side of his beard. "Look at it this way: you will be able to get to know her and her culture better and it might help shape your vote. I know you're the only one of us who hasn't made up her mind yet," he notes with a meaningful look. And yes, he's right. Actually, her vote is pretty damn important because with the way things are it will decide the Sky People's fate altogether. "It might help you decide that being a part of the Coalition is nothing but trouble for us, or it might actually change your mind and show you that the Commander's intentions are not so bad after all. Whatever the outcome, it will have been a good experience."

Clarke knows he's right, but she can't imagine spending two weeks with the Commander and not confirming that she is indeed a bloodthirsty savage. Alas, she owes it to her people to at least try.

"Fine."

~~~~

Lexa is not unused to the bustle of early morning, the sounds of the city rousing to life outside, the doors that open and close and the voices that speak in hushed tones so as not to wake those sleeping. They often wake her anyway. What she is unused to are the boots that clank on metal, that fans that whir along the halls, and the flickering, buzzing light provided not by candles but by a hollow opening in the ceiling.

She left Anya outside of Arkadia to set up camp with the rest of her retinue. Gustus came with her, along with a handful of warriors and diplomats. Despite reason, she does not think they will be at risk inside the walls of the ally of their enemy. Besides, having Gustus by her side — or in this case, in the next room — is like having an army of twenty. Lexa trusts him with her life and that of those she loves most. There was only one time when she trusted him and he could not keep someone she loved safe. It wasn't his fault, despite the tears of guilt and regret that ran down his face when he came back, battered and bloody and without Lexa's lover. It took weeks for his wounds to heal enough for him to leave his bed. Months later, he would finally admit that it had not been ten warriors he had had to fight off, but thirty. Lexa never blamed him, never even imagined blaming him for what happened. There are only two people she has ever blamed for it — one of them is herself.

Lexa gets ready for the day in motions automated by the years. She resents Skaikru for not having proper bathtubs; she doesn't dare touch what the server girl from last night called a shower, so she foregoes washing altogether. There is a river nearby she can bathe in anyway. Once her pauldron is resting on her shoulder, its weight and looping red sash a permanent reminder of her station, Lexa leaves her bedroom, only to register with disapproval that the Sky Council did not assign anyone to guard her door. Instead she finds Gustus waiting for her, no doubt already having sent whoever he assigned to her door away. "Heda," he greets with a bow. "How was your night?"

"As would be expected," she replies, keeping her face neutral as she notices Marcus's approach. He sends her a warm smile.

"Commander." They clasp forearms with comfortable formality. "I hope you had a good night's sleep."

"The mattress was stiff. But I have spent much worse nights in foreign clans." It is both criticism and a compliment, and she knows it leaves Marcus slightly disconcerted albeit resolute to make sure her next night is better. It keeps him on his toes without outright insulting his hospitality.

"We'll look into the matter." A pause, then another smile. "In the meantime, I'm sure you would like to eat, Commander?" He waits for Lexa to nod before leading her and Gustus through numerous halls, walking by doors left and right. Lexa peers curiously as they pass by a by room lined with tables and people eating. "That's the mess hall, where almost everyone eats, but I'm sure you'd like to have a more... discreet meal, if you will. I've arranged for breakfast in my office."

"I wouldn't mind eating with your people, Marcus," she says truly as they come to a stop at a door, two staircases later. He fishes a key from his pocket and inserts it in the hole.

"Of course, Commander. But just for today, for your very first meal here, I thought you would appreciate something not as overwhelming."

"I do," she nods.

He opens the door for her and she stops into a room with a wooden desk and a mismatched chair next to the far wall. A battered couch sits against one of the walls to one side and on the other are several maps and eerily realistic paintings nailed to it. A lamp hanging from the ceiling provides light to the entire office and an open door near the couch leads them to a more open, free space. Marcus motions for Lexa to enter it and she is pleased to find a small, semicircular room with large, tall windows on the round wall that oversee Arkadia from two stories above. There is a round table in the middle with three chairs around it and several dishes waiting for Lexa's hungry stomach. Looking out the windows again, she wonders if this is a room they had up in space before the Sky People fell to the ground and if they could see the stars and the Earth from there.

"Did you live there? In space?"

Kane is now standing next to her and looking out the windows with his arms being his back, a pose that very much mirrors her own. It takes him almost a minute to reply; when he does, it is not without a sigh she cannot decipher. It sounds like nostalgia laced with relief.

"The Ark fell down about thirty years ago. I was just a kid then, twenty years old and sure that I would become someone important one day. Which I did," he acquiesces with a rueful smile, "but not for the reasons I wanted it then. The ground shaped me. I've spent more years on the ground than I did in space already. I have... changed a lot since then. I was eager, too ambitious, and too overzealous in following the rules. The ground taught me that rules need to be interpreted. I'm still eager," he chuckles, and Lexa almost lets a small smile escape her lips, "but what drives me now is love for my people. I want what's best for them, not for myself. And that," he turns his torso to her with a raised eyebrow and a kind smile, "is why I want the Sky clan to be a part of the Coalition."

"What do I have to do to make sure our common goal is achieved?" Lexa asks with caution as he turns back to the windows. She needs to tread carefully.

"Convince Clarke," Marcus says easily. It is as she thought. "Everyone else has their mind set. I have the deciding vote, but right now we are at a disadvantage. We need her yes to tie with the no's and activate the deciding quality of my vote. Otherwise, it's just a vote. Anyway." He turns to her again and extends an arm towards the table. "Shall we eat? Food's getting cold."

Lexa eats mostly in silence while Marcus tells her stories of the Ark, the stars, and their planet seen from space. She keeps her expression neutral, but is secretly fascinated and hangs on to his every word. She barely notices when she has finished eating and Marcus leads her out of the room. She is shocked out of her awe when he opens the door to his office to reveal none other than Clarke kom Skaikru.

"Commander, I'm sure you remember Clarke Griffin," Marcus says pleasantly. Lexa's eyes do not leave their new company's.

"Yes, our first meeting was... quite memorable."

Clarke has the decency to lower her gaze to the floor in a clear sign of shame. When her eyes return to Lexa's, she sees honesty in them.

"I wanted to apologize for that, Commander. I was unnecessarily rude," Clarke admits, and Lexa has to fight off a triumphant smirk. Instead, she dips her head in wordless assent. An uncomfortable silence spans for several long seconds, before Marcus clears his throat.

"So. Clarke will be your guide here, Commander. She will be at your disposal for anything you need and will help you acclimate to Arkadia. I genuinely hope that all your future interactions will be better than the first." He finishes with a warning glare at Clarke, who once again ducks her head in embarrassment. His attention shifts back to Lexa. "Commander," he nods. She nods back wordlessly and then he's off to somewhere else, leaving her alone with Clarke.

Lexa is not a fan of employing clichés, but the silence is deafening. Neither she nor Clarke know what to say or do now that Marcus is not there to act as a buffer. Eventually, Clarke clears her throat, thus ending their torture.

"I hope you enjoy your stay in Arkadia, Commander. Today, I would like to show you what each sector does around here."

~~~~

First, Clarke takes her to see the farms. Lexa is impressed with the technology they employ, some of it simple enough that the other clans can replicate. They lack the knowledge earned through years of experience, however, and Lexa can visualize how the other clans can help the Sky People complement their scientific expertise with conventional wisdom. The same would be true for hunting if her people were keen on using fire guns. Instead, it is a foregone conclusion that the Sky People have much to learn before they can hunt in an effective way that will truly allow them to live fairly comfortably through the harsher seasons.

During the day, Lexa realises that Clarke is bright and ingenious, though judgemental and opinionated. Lexa can see that the Sky Council member is making an effort, however, so she does not make her job too hard. Clarke talks her through her clan's decision-making process, some general laws and traditions, the way religion evolved on the Ark, and how the ground contributed to diminish the gap between classes.

"We all need to work to survive," Clarke explains. "Some people will always be lazy, some will work more than others, but opportunities are never amiss. If you work hard enough, life will be merciful. Or as merciful as it can be on the ground," she adds as an afterthought. Lexa takes the chance to point out that life can be easier for the Sky People if they ally with her. Clarke counters with a smirking 'maybe' and moves on.

Lexa feels a quiet sense of wonder, muted also byba slight prickle of fear and discomfort, when she first enters the medical aisle. Everything is white and pristine, and there are machines as big as Lexa that both sit the patients down in comfortable seats and lloom over them with big, mechanical arms. There are beds everywhere, an organised chaos of machines, healers, and patients. Lexa feels miserably out of place, but she can't help but marvel at how advanced the Sky People seem to be in terms of medicine. This her people can learn from.

"Raven has managed to build more equipment and make our medical aisle as effective as it can be." Clarke's husky voice provides pleasant commentary on all the technological wonders around them. "A lot of the doctors are still in training, but soon we'll have a hospital ready to answer everyone's needs."

Lexa turns to Clarke, dips her chin in a slight nod. "Our methods are more traditional. We answer many needs, but often find ourselves lacking the means to further our expertise. Our healers could learn a lot from yours," she says. Clarke turns to her with a pensive crease between her eyebrows. "And maybe they could teach your healers how to draw from nature to cure many ailments."

"That's... not such a bad idea," Clarke concedes, and a smile ghosts over pink lips, making the beauty mark above them tip upwards. "But we would have to think things through very thoroughly. That is, if we joined the Coalition."

"Of course."

Their day draws to an end when the sun has already hidden behind the walls of Arkadia and the sky is the same purple that colours its flags. Clarke explains to her that each of their cities is represented by a colour and together they form a rainbow. "I may have had a hand in that," Clarke confides, although the meaning of her sly smirk is lost on Lexa.

Clarke takes her to the door of her quarters and it is not until Lexa is about to nod her goodbye that the Sky leader clears her throat and extends her arm. Lexa's eyes take in the proffered arm, then find Clarke's gaze with a raised eyebrow. Clarke purses her lips and takes a deep breath.

"Look, I am— genuinely sorry for... for what happened yesterday. My behaviour was unacceptable."

Lexa is tempted to punish Clarke a bit further, but decides to offer an olive branch instead. She clasps Clarke's forearm and feels soft fingers wrap around her own. "You are unwaveringly protective of your people, Clarke. I can appreciate that."

Clarke's small, grateful smile is worth the concession.

~~~~

The next morning, Lexa leaves her quarters to find Marcus and Clarke waiting for her. Once all pleasantries are exchanged, the Chancellor invites her, with an eager tilt to his voice, to have the first meal in the mess hall.

Lexa accepts the invitation with polite words and Marcus takes the front of their little group of four, Gustus included. Lexa and Clarke walk side by side just a few steps behind.

"I hope you are liking your stay here, Commander," Clarke says after several seconds of silence.

Lexa gathers her thoughts before she answers carefully: "It is in many ways an experience unlike what I am used to. The sounds are different, the clothes too. There is no shortage of metal."

Clarke hums in agreement. "Technology has its pros and cons. Against it is the fact that you find yourself turning your back on your surroundings." Lexa's eyes must hold a question in them, for Clarke answers it immediately: "When everything you need is inside a wall, you end up exploring the world outside less and less."

"Maybe I can help your people find their balance."

Clarke shrugs noncommittally, but Lexa spies indecision in her eyes. It is not until some seconds later that Clarke decides to voice her thoughts.

"The problem with alliances is that they only last for so long. Eventually one clan's needs trumps the alliance's and everyone falls back into their old, warring ways."

Lexa understands Clarke's doubt; it has plagued her sleepless one too many nights. However, it is not just a matter of conviction. Lexa knows that if she manages to find a balance between codependency and independency, she can keep the Coalition alive for many ages. She wants her legacy to be enjoyed by many commanders after her.

"Clarke, I am trying to build something that will last for many generations. An alliance that will stand the test of time, a brand of peace that will outlive all of us," she says, unable to keep a thread of passion from her voice. "Something much stronger than the Pauna's fist and far greater than a hero's glory. War breeds legends, peace feeds civilisations."

Clarke's smile is teasing, but Lexa recognises it for the deflection that it is. "Nice speech, Commander."

She shrugs and lets her eyes glint with mirth. "I am not above making rousing speeches to sway your vote, Clarke."

~~~~

(there was more but it was incomplete so I figured this would be the best place to cut)

[schnitzelbutterfingers]

the forgotten one- chapter 2

A/N: hiya there! here is the second chapter of ‘the forgotten one’! this is also emotional, and angsty, but don’t worry. there will be some fluff in the next chapter. seb and jazmin the mother will arrive at boston. ethan’s still processing the news and he’s afraid. SO afraid. and abby... well you’ll find out!! sorry this took almost two weeks. sounds ridiculous, doesn’t it? but i finally completed it!! as always, forgive me if there are any spelling mistakes or grammar errors. lmk if you want to be added or removed from the tags. enjoy!!

summary: Louise Ramsey, the mother of the famous, brilliant diagnostician Ethan Ramsey, is back into his life. However, Louise holds many secrets, dangerous secrets, that could harm him, Dr. Abigail ‘Abby’ Chacko (my MC), and the very few lives he actually cares about. It is up to Ethan, Abby, and their friends to save each other from what is about to come.

pairing(s): dr. ethan ramsey x mc (dr. abigail “abby” chacko)

warning(s):   violence and blood. there might be some fluff along the way, but you get the gist. DON’T READ IF YOU”RE UNCOMFORTABLE WITH DEATH, VIOLENCE, and BLOOD.

word count: 3042

masterlist

Seb’s POV

When he saw Amma standing still, a tear tracing her cheek, it practically grieved his heart. He looked elsewhere, when his eyes landed on a picture of him and his baby sister. It was when Seb graduated from John Hopkins University at the age of 24, getting accepted to a residency program in Northwestern Memorial Hospital, where he was working presently. He had a bouquet in his hand, made by his sister. It was swelled with red roses, white calla lilies, and orchids. They were smiling, and Abby was lowering her lips to his cheeks, a gesture in which he adored. Merely looking at it made the running pains flow through his blood, banging at his heart.

Instantaneously, he heard a small thud. He turned around and directly perceived that it was the sound of knees, because he regarded his mother on the ground, sobbing and screaming. Amma suffered from anxiety and depression, something is being treated by Dr. Joah Jehovah, a psychologist. And it took all of his willpower to not imitate her actions. 

Her sister. Stabbed. By some freak. After barely surviving the assassination attempt. He questioned God again and again as to why his baby sister should be punished like that. What did she ever do? She suffered frequently through her childhood, and she suffered just two weeks before, and now... she’s suffering again. Will she be able to endure this? 

No, Seb chastises himself. Don’t think like that. She has survived worse, she’ll survive again.

After comforting Jazmin and blinking back some tears of his own, he forcibly opened his MacBook Pro and breezed through American Airlines, trying to buy the first two tickets to Boston, Massachusetts. This had been their second time flying to Boston this odd year, the first time when Abby was stuck in the contamination room. 

First class seats. Like I would care at this point. They purchased economy seats out of hurry and rushed to the airport. The whole flight, Jazmin was trying to conceal her face with a crimson scarf, not presenting anyone her tears. There were two oblivious people in the front seats, laughing and smiling uncontrollably, and he desperately wanted to yell furiously at them, tell them to stop before he loses his unconscious mind. If it was possible, he would want to shout from the top of his lungs on the airplane. But that’s not fair, even to the two passengers. Because they’re really excited to see Hamilton. How did he know? They’re holding two tickets out in the open, and it wasn’t difficult for Seb to read them. Ah, the benefits of observation.

He was trying to stay strong for his mother, but a few times, he excused himself to the bathroom, where he would shed some tears, hoping, praying, for her angel sister to survive.

They landed in Boston, and when they were getting their luggage from the rack, he only saw her. And Ethan. He had no idea what Ethan was going through.

Seb and his depressed mother are now in a taxi, going to Edenbrook Hospital. The sun’s shining goldenly, a few clouds in the sky, perfect for a picnic date. Ragged tears of nervous sweat are prickling on his head even though the weather is chilly. There is snow, kids making snowmen, snow angels, snow ball fights. It reminded him of Seb’s and Abby’s childhood.

The siblings almost never had the chance to play out in the snow because Abraham and his people would whip them with a belt. Whenever their father is not there though, Amma would sneak them out and they always made the most of their time playing out in the snow. He can still remember their grins and how Abby got her first frostbite for staying outside for five hours. Eventually, Jazmin had to drag their butts back into the houses, where they shared hot cocoa. When snow was falling in her first winter in Boston, she was so excited that she called Seb to let him know. He had a small smile on his face as Abby ranted to him about what she and her roommates will do.  

He can note how Amma was trying to possess a determined face. The ominous silence sounds almost deafening, Seb takes out his phone and dials Ethan’s number. Someone picks up but that someone is not Ethan. It’s Naveen.

“Naveen?! How is Abby?” Seb places the phone on speaker phone, so his mother can hear what Naveen has to say.

“Abby’s surgery was successful. The stab wound affected her liver, but Dr. Tanaka and the surgeons managed to fix it. She is now sleeping in Room 24B.” He paused for a moment. “Are you and Jazmin in Boston?”

“Yes, Naveen. We’re on a taxi heading to the hospital.” 

All the while he can hear himself thanking God, the angels in heaven and all the saints for taking care of his baby angel. Jazmin is spilling joyful tears and sobbing. However, he also wants to know where he is. Where his anxious friend is. He nervously takes a deep breath and questions the senior doctor. 

“...Naveen? Where is Ethan? Harper was the one on the other end the first time. At that time, I knew it was because Ethan didn’t have the strength to talk to me. Abby is alright now. Why is he not talking to me?”

There is dead silence on the other end. The only sounds he can detect are the cars on the other lane and the taxi’s radio playing I Can’t Feel My Face by The Weeknd. Wow, what a great song accompanying my mood, he thinks sarcastically. Ultimately, he hears the chief gathering a deep breath. 

“Come to the hospital immediately. I will tell you what happened.”

“Okay, Naveen. Thank you.” he says as he frantic cut the call.

Seb and Jazmin share a concerned look. As they drove through Edenbrook’s main entrance, he couldn’t help but think. Whatever is happening now, it’s not good. 

________________________________________________________________Ethan’s POV

Relaxation. Ease. Relief. Relief.    

Relief was the word he used when his longtime mentor Naveen survived. Relief was the  word he used when Abby won her hearing, an obstacle that almost stopped her from saving more patients and sufficiently advancing her career. Relief was the word he used when he saw his Rookie again after two months in the Amazon, fighting off a virus with the W.H.O. Relief was the word he used when he felt her head on his shoulder while driving her back to her shared apartment from the dinner with the governor. Relief was the word he used when he had her on the luxury yacht, distracting him from the opulence and Leland Bloom. Relief was the word he used when he passionately kissed her outside of his apartment after the softball game, the first time in a long time. Relief was the word he used when he caressed her with his lips during the Mass Kenmore heist. Relief was the word he used when he announced on national television that he wasn’t single, which somehow, didn’t make him feel anxious. Relief was the word he used when Abby overcame the toxin, which threatened to take the lives of her and Rafael, already killing Danny Cardinal and Bobby Gunderson. Relief was the word he used when they cuddled and clung fondly to each other in the ski resort, blocking the sounds of the wind rattling against the windows, a huge blizzard taking place outside. And now...

Relief was, no, is the word he is using to accurately describe how Ethan feels after his Rookie’s surgery. 

He does not want to undergo that. Ever. Again.

If he ever sees Louise Ramsey in his sight, he will lose it. He will lose it. He will lose. It.

He started believing in that woman again, only to be driven back to square one. She rubbed a huge pack of salt deep into the wound in his heart. In fact, it was Abby who recommended that she should hear Louise out.

*Flashback*

Ethan can’t sleep. He tries to close his eyes, hoping that the next time he unravels them, it will be five a.m. He reveals his eyes again and groans. His clock reads 1:12 a.m.

The radiant moonlight is shining through the windows and onto his satin sheets, the sole source of light in his room.

Ever since his mother came to the ER, admitted in there for an apparent overdose, that was all he could think about. And Abby..

He shut her out. Once again. Thinking about how he slammed the on-call room door in her face made him wince with guilt. He hadn’t sighted her after that. How were they supposed to be in a relationship (are they in one?) if he keeps shutting her out again? He can’t even open up his feelings to her, the one who shared her past, her present, her deepest, darkest secrets...

Ethan instantly decides to contact her.

The phone picks up on the second ring. 

“Ethan? Is everything alright?” Abby sounds awake, not tired at all. He hears papers shuffling on the other side. 

“No, Rookie. I wanted to apologize for the way I acted today.”

There is a long moment of silence. “What are you talking about? What are you apologizing for?”

She sounds genuinely curious and confused, he wants to scoff at her for neglecting what happened. For not being mad at him. For not shutting him out. Just like he did many times.

“I closed the door in your face after you had attempted to console me after Louise came in the ER. It was downright impolite of me, and I am sor-” he is interrupted.

“Ethan, don’t ever be sorry for that. I understood that you needed some space. And besides, I have to admit.. if I was in your shoes, I would have done the same thing.”

She pauses for a moment, and this time he almost hears the sound of her unique heartbeat. “I will never know the pain you suffered during your childhood after knowing that your mother left you. But I do know this. I will always be there for you, Ethan Ramsey. Whether you like it or not.”

His heart swells with genuine emotions and tears starts to burn through his eyes, but he forces to flutter them away, his throat tightening.

“Abby.. I... thank you. That means a lot to me. And, for the record, I’ll always be there for you, Abigail Chacko.” 

Abby laughs wholeheartedly, hearing the words she used back to her, the first pleasant sound of his whole day that makes his stomach flip.

The laughter dies down, and there is silence stretching for a long time. At the last moment, Abby promptly breaks it, a sense of relief flooding through his cells.

“...How are you, really? With everything that’s been going on with your mom, I mean.” Then, there is a painful quietness that seemed acutely uncomfortable. She breaks it again, with a gentle voice. “I’m sorry. I know how painful this situation is, and just wanted to-”

He waves off her apology with one question, a question that had been racking him for a long time. “..What would you do if you were in my shoes?”

“...What do you mean?”

“If you had a similar circumstance where someone who hurt you came back again into your life, in a long time, what would you do?”

The once visible moon is now being hidden by a cloud, showing off a little bit of brightness, as if performing an act of humility as he waits for an answer. After an eternity in what was only a few minutes, she answers.

“I would forgive them.”

Ethan isn’t genuinely shocked to hear this, but it still makes his lips slightly part. He knew Abby’s and Seb’s childhood, which, from what he undoubtedly heard, could have been more painful and terrible than his own. They got beaten up and assaulted almost every day, Seb had told him days after they became friends. So, he decides to ask this one question.

“..Why?”

“..I didn’t say I was gonna forgive them quickly, did I? It takes time for a person to truly forgive someone, and to me.. that’s okay. If they haven’t changed, I will still forgive them, but not immediately, but if they did change and they want to be a different person, then I will forgive them, no matter what they did to me.”

Ethan lets out a sigh he has been containing for a while, instantly recognizing his need for oxygen. If her father came back, as a changed man, would she forgive him? How can she do that? No, the key question is, how will she do that? Before meditating deeper into his thoughts, she disrupts him.

“Is this about your mother, Ethan?”

“..I.. I’ll admit I have been thinking about that. I also have been wondering.. I’m like my mother aren’t I?”

Bewilderment substitutes her gentle voice. “What are you talking about? You’re not like your-”

‘I push everyone away, especially you. Every time when you try to get close to me. That’s exactly what my mom did to me and my dad. She left us without a note. I left you to the Amazon with no reason as to why I did it.”

“Ethan-”

“Tell me, Abby. Tell me that you weren’t hurt by my actions and I will let this topic go.”

Another impressive silence, until he hears some cars honking on the bustling streets of Boston. And he hears her familiar voice on the other side, bringing remorse but an equivalent amount of considerable comfort in him. “..Ethan.. you may have hurt me. A lot. I’ll admit that. But you are not your mother, do you understand that?

Ethan tries to swallow a small lump in his throat. “You’ve changed. From pushing me away to letting me in. I am honored to be a part of your life in this way. And, to answer another question of yours, in my opinion, I think she really wants to change. For Mr. Ramsey and for you.”

His throat tightens again as he hears her speak once more. “It takes a lot of courage for someone to visit their family after 25 years. Maybe she does really want to change. But I’m not making any options for you. This is your choice and yours only.”

She still aids him, even though he shut her out today. She still cherishes him, even though What did I do to deserve her? he thinks.

“Ethan? Are you there?” he hears her troubled voice. He speaks to alleviate her worry.

“...Thank you.  For this, I mean. For always being there for me when I need you.”

She sighs contentedly . “Ethan, I told you once before, and I’ll tell this again, until you get it in your head. I’ll. Always. Be. There. For. You. Whether you like it. Or not.”

*Back to present*

“Ethan?” He hears a familiar voice from down the hallway. Seb. Next to him is what he presumes to be Jazmin. Their eyes are pinkish, cheeks blushed and streaked with tears.

How is he going to talk to them? How is he going to talk to Seb, the one most beloved friend that he has, cares for and trusts? How is he going to talk to Jazmin? Even though they hadn’t really seen each other before, they usually communicated on the phone a lot, and she seems to be the dear mother he never had until now. And he.. he failed them.

Seb speaks up first, looking at him straight in the eye. “We know everything, Ethan. We know.”

Ethan stands there. Not moving. His face looks deathly pale as he looks at him and his mother. They.. know? But ho-

“Did Naveen have anything to do with that?” Ethan replied angrily.

The successful surgeon sighs profoundly. “Yes, he told us. But before you say anything, just hear us out, okay?”

Ethan speaks low, in a terrifying voice that makes interns want to get away from him. He cuts Seb out before he states anything. “..I’m sorry. I apologize. I really am sorry. I can’t believe that woman really put her through this, and it almost seems unbelievable. It’s all my fault. I shouldn’t have started to trust Louise again. And I promise you that when I get that witch in my hands, I will-”

Jazmin instantly ceases him with a raise of her hand. “Son, do you think we’re mad at you?” 

The attending’s eyebrows draw together as confusion overtakes his senses. They’re not enraged at me?

She chuckles slowly, as if sensing uncertainty. “To answer to your lack of certainty, I’m not mad. I’ll never be mad at you. you are not your mother. You are not Louise Ramsey, do you understand me, young man?”

Emotions. Sentiments. They’re flying around him as she announces these words. Suddenly he recalls the similar words his Rookie said.

But you are not your mother, do you understand that?

“I..”

Seb scores him off. “Ethan, stop blaming yourself for something you didn’t do. You never made a mistake and we know you love our Angel as much as we love her.”

“I... I love her, don’t I?”

His best friend snickers. “Took you long enough.” 

Next to him, Jazmin is sending the doctor a goofy smile.

Suddenly, the moment of ease was interrupted gently by Caspian, a male nurse.

“Abigail Chacko?”

Ethan almost passed out from hearing her name. To not make the moment more awkward, Seb responds for him. “We’re here for her.”

“Abby is conscious and is asking for Dr. Ramsey.”

_______________________________________________________________

Mystery Man’s POV

I walk outside of the ‘prestigious’ hospital. No one minds me. They’re absolutely that stupid, aren’t they?

Louise calls me. “I escaped. Now tell me, what should I do next for our plan to be a success?”

I respond cautiously to her with ease. “Our secret spot. I’m on my way there. Meet me at 5 A.M. Sharp.”

Louise chuckles wickedly. “Marrying you does have its perks.”

I smile wickedly. “It indeed does.” Right away, I cut the call.

________________________________________________________________

A/N 2: any idea who the mystery man is? hint: it’s not alan.

A/N 3: sorry for the cliffhanger!! i promise you that you’ll know more soon.

tags: @missmiimiie @aylamwrites @starrystarrytrouble @udishaman @caseyvalentineramsey @queencarb @choicesstan1 @newcolonies @arcticrivers @angela8756 @takemyopenheart @rookie-ramsey @ohchoices​ @ohvamsey @ohramsey @natureblooms24 @drariellevalentine @openheartfanfics

[tallstales]

Day 11 Haunted Places in New England (13 Days of Halloween)

New England is home to some of America’s oldest colonies and so it only seems natural that it is home to some old spirits. Let’s take a tour state by state of 13 of the most popular haunted locations in New England.

Maine

The Wood Lighthouse - Saco Bay, Maine

In 1808 a lighthouse was built in Saco Bay, Maine at the request of President Thomas Jefferson. That lighthouse, though full of history is not the infamous haunt that stands today. After falling to disrepair, it was replaced by a stone and granite tower that still stands today. it is in this newer structure that a violent tragedy would take place.

Based on reports, in 1896 a tenant renting the lighthouse or possibly squatting there, was approached by the landlord regarding the subject of paying rent. An argument took place which resulted in the shooting and death of the landlord. After realizing what he had done or possibly panicking over the consequences of his actions, the tenant went into the lighthouse with his gun and killed himself.

Keepers who have lived in the Wood Island Lighthouse since say that unexplained shadows frequently appear as well as unusual moaning sounds. Other reports say that sometimes locked doors fly open and gunshots are heard. The light was also know to turn on and off by itself. It became such a problem in fact, that in 1972 to save the lighthouse keepers from dealing with the possibly haunted light, it was replaced with an automated light.

Goose River Bridge - Rockport Harbor, Maine

A spirit with spirits can be found on The Goose River Bridge on Pascal Avenue near picturesque Rockport Harbor. The Goose River Bridge is allegedly haunted by William Richardson, a town resident who lived there around the time of the Revolutionary War. There are at least two stories about Richardson’s death that circulate to this day amongst the locals. The first is that British sympathizers murdered Richardson in 1783 because they were enraged by his drunken celebration of the American victory. The second is that he got so drunk celebrating the American victory that he fell from the Goose River Bridge to his death. Either way, if you catch a whiff of ale in the air by the bridge and happen to see this celebrating apparition, legend has it that he’ll offer you a drink from his pitcher. I wonder what the tab would be for 200 years worth of ale.

Vermont

Emily’ s Bridge - Stowe, Vermont

In Vermont there is another haunted bridge but one without a such a friendly spirit. If you travel through Stowe, Vermont it is likely that you will eventually pass over the Gold Brook Bridge. At least, that’s what your GPS will call it, but locals have renamed it something different. Emily’s Bridge has been nicknamed such after a tragedy befell the location. A girl named Emily had planned to meet her lover at the covered bridge, where they would then run away together to elope. According to the story, her beau man never showed, and a brokenhearted Emily commited suicide. The method has changed over time and story teller, some saying she hanged herself from the rafters of the bridge, others saying that she drove off the bridge in her carriage and others still saying that she flung herself from the bridge.

One thing that remains consistent are the experiences. Visitors have reported long scratch marks appearing on their vehicles, hearing footsteps and spotting a white apparition. Some pedestrians have even reported experiencing scratches along their skin. The most common thing among these witnesses? They apparitions and disembodied footsteps seem to be experienced by all types, but the scratches always seem to be inflicted upon men. Maybe Emily is still blaming her lover after all these years. Or maybe, her lover did show up on the bridge that day and Emily didn’t kill herself at all. We’ll likely never know.

University of Vermont - Burlington, Vermont

Established in 1791, the University of Vermont was the fifth university founded across New England. The school welcomes thousands of new students every year, but according to legend it seems like many of them never actually leave.

Over the years, many homes were bought and absorbed into the campus. One of these homes is now the Counseling Centre. Once owned by Captain John Nabb, the building still seems to house his spirit. Staff of the Counselling Centre say that he is still there and makes himself known by knocking over buckets and slamming doors and windows. The nearby Public Relations building is also said to be haunted by its former resident John E Booth who is said to make various banging noises all over the building. But it doesn’t end there. The most haunted house on the campus is said to be The Bittersweet House where many people have reported seeing full body apparitions. It is believed that one of the ghosts there is Margaret Smith who was widowed at a young age and spent the rest of her life as a recluse until she died in the house in 1961.

Not all of the ghosts at the University of Vermont are former residents, there is reported to be a far more tragic spirit in the Converse Residence Hall. A young med student called Henry is reported to have committed suicide in the building in 1920 and many say he is still there, manifesting himself in the form of poltergeist activity.

With all of these separately haunted buildings on campus, I would say this makes the university of Vermont the most haunted place to visit in Vermont and probably a paranormal investigators dream!

New Hampshire

The Mount Washington Hotel - Bretton Woods, New Hampshire

The Mount Washington Hotel was built by Joseph Stickney from 1900 to 1902 and for a time was the largest wood structure in New England. Sadly, Stickney wouldn’t get to spend much time in his hotel as he died a year after completion, but surprisingly he is not who is reported to haunt the place. Instead the hotel is allegedly haunted by his widow Carolyn.

Soon after the death of Carolyn in 1936, hotel staff began seeing strange things around the hotel. Reports were made of her descending the stairs for dinner, as well as lights inexplicably turning on and off all over the hotel. Photographs have also been taken by the staff with the shadowy figure of an elegant lady looking through the windows or standing behind them. Carolyn’s old room, number 314, is reported to be the most haunted room in the hotel. This isn’t at all surprising considering some of her furniture including her four-poster bed is still in use in the room.

The Chase House - Portsmouth, New Hampshire

The Chase House in Portsmouth, New Hampshire was built as a home for orphaned children. As you can probably guess, it has some spooky tales to tell regarding the ghosts of little orphans some may be more gruesome than you’d expect. The most reported ghost to haunt the premises isn;t the result of a tragic illness or accident but of a poor young girl who hanged herself in her bedroom. Her apparition is seen wandering the hall and in her old room and there have also been reports of disembodied screams from within the room. Doors in the building have also been known to lock or unlock on there own and the electricity allegedly turns on and off as well.

Massachusetts

Danvers State Hospital - Danvers, Massachusetts

The Danvers State Hospital opened in 1878 as the Danvers State insane Asylum. The impressive Gothic architecture shapes the building like a bat with expanded wings and makes for a sufficiently eerie exterior. Underground tunnels weave beneath the building to up the creep factor of the interior as well. But what’s really scary here is the history. Typical of asylums for the period, Danvers housed more patients than they should have causing poor treatment and overcrowding. Historians belief that Danvers may have been the birthplace of the prefrontal lobotomy. Unfortunately that’s not where the mistreatment of patients ends. There was a distinct lack of adequate care and treatment with those actually receiving any sort of treatment being subjected to brutal methods such as shock therapies, drugs and straitjackets from the staff as well as your more average human violence like beatings and rape from inmates and staff alike.

The hospital was closed in 1985 and was left completely abandoned. People interested in the paranormal would try to enter the building but with no success. As of 2005 you can now live on the property in renovated or completely new apartments and condos. That being said there are still graveyards for patients. if you walk down a hill you will come across many markers, most of them remain nameless. Hopefully the rent is cheap?

Lizzie Borden Bed and Breakfast - Fall River, Massachusetts

“Lizzie Borden took an ax and gave her mother forty whacks. When she saw what she had done, she gave her father forty-one.” So goes the catchy rhyme that anyone from New England is sure to have memorized. Whether or not Lizzie actually killed her parents is a matter that is still debated today, but you can stay in the very house where the couple met their gruesome fate. The Lizzie Borden house is now a bed and breakfast and museum and is also said to be very much haunted.

Guests lucky enough to snag a reservations at this constantly booked up B&B can sleep in John V. Morse room, where Lizzie’s mother was murdered. Downstairs visitors can see the couch where her father died. Overnight guests get an extensive tour that lasts about an hour and half of the house including the basement and a full of history and the murder case. To those who don’t want to sleep in the room where someone was ax murdered, the museum also offers a 50 minute tours visitors.

Those who have decided to stay the night have reported hearing a woman crying, heard unexplained noises and have even woken up with scratches all over their bodies. Also frequently reported are the apparitions of Lizzie herself as well as the murdered John and Abby wandering the home.

Hawthorne Hotel - Salem, Massachusetts

The Hawthorne Hotel in Salem, Massachusetts has been ranked as one of the top 10 haunted hotels in the United States. It was also recently investigated by The Atlantic Paranormal Society, better known as TAPS or The Ghost Hunters.

Since its opening 1925, the Hawthorne has collected numerous ghosts. Witnesses have reported hearing what sounds like a child crying incessantly when there are no children around. Guests in room 325 have felt the sensation of someone’s hand touching theirs when no one is there.

The ghostly figure of a woman is also known to wander the 6th floor hallway. Others claim to have seen the woman enter different rooms as well and more still report a feeling of unease on the entire 6th floor and a restless presence that appears to pace the room according to guests who have stayed in Suite 612 of the hotel. Other guests in 612 that have not seen the pacing spirit report to hear footsteps in the room as though someone is pacing back and forth.

A more comedic report, at least to me, is from a guest who claimed someone had managed to get into his room when he heard the sink running and the toilet flush in his bathroom. After being shown there was no way anyone could get into his bathroom the man was resigned to the notion it was a ghost, and he was ok with that notion. I don;t know if I would be ok with that notion but to each their own. It is Salem after all and though this building is relatively young, the history of the city cannot be overlooked.

Connecticut

The Sterling Opera House - Derby, Connecticut

Built in 1889, The Sterling Opera House in Derby, CT is said to be one of the most haunted places in New England. The hauntingly beautiful Opera House remained open until 1945 and served as host to a slew of famous performers such as Bob Hope and Harry Houdini. Today, all that are left to perform or attend are the spirits.

There have been a number of paranormal investigations in the opera house over the years and the evidence gathered during them has included children talking or singing, shadowy spectors, light anomalies and the sudden appearance of child-sized handprints. Although most of the activity seems to center around children, some say that the building is also haunted by the spirit of Charles Sterling who the building was named for.

Dudleytown - Cornwall, Connecticut

Unlike some of the other hotspots on our list, this haunting consumed an entire town! Dudleytown was a village that was once said to be under a terrible curse. The Village was founded in 1738 by The Dudley Family who is the one who were the victims of the apparent cursed. You would think the curse would have ended when all of the Dudleys died soon after settling in Dudleytown, but it is said that the curse went on to infect the rest of the village. After the last Dudley died, the population of the town began to rapidly decrease with death... and it wasn’t a plague or sickness.

No, the deaths were violent in nature. Accidents and suicides wreaked havoc as well as a higher than average number of cases of insanity. The village was completely abandoned in the 1800s and now all that remains are the foundations and some stone ruins. Though access is rarely granted to the remains of this village by its current owners, guests to the ruins report that many of the former residents are still there in the form of ghosts. Many say that when entering the village there is a strong sense of dread. Some have seen orbs of light and unexplained shadow figures in the area.

To add to the strangeness, all visitors seem to notice the same unsettling thing. Though this is an area of overgrown forest, there are no birds or animals to be seen or heard. I think that’s enough warning for me to stay out!

Rhode Island

We’ve already visited my home state of RI on our haunted location hunt this week but here are two bonus locations for our tour of New England!

The Breakers Mansion - Newport, Rhode Island

The Breakers is one of the most popular tourist attractions and wedding venues on Aquidneck Island, but it has a haunted history. This mansion was originally the summer home of Cornelius Vanderbilt II, who was a member of the wealthy Vanderbilt family. It is said that Vanderbilt’s wife, Alice, was known to roam throughout the building, even after her death in 1934. Her spirit has been seen on multiple levels of the house in fine dresses from the golden age. other witnesses have reported the feeling of being watched or followed by something they couldn’t see.

The family currently living there says that Alice is a near constant presence but they will not allow any ghost tours or investigators because they believe she has a right to her own home and they don’t want to disturb her.

Seaview Terrace - Newport, Rhode Island

Closing out our list is the Seaview Terrace in Newport, Rhode Island. Also known as the Carey Mansion, Seaview Terrace is located on Ruggles Avenue in Newport, RI. This historical landmark dating back to 1907 and was a filming location for the gothic horror TV show, Dark Shadows. But it doesn’t just look creepy, the mansion is said to be one of Rhode Island's most haunted locations. Many believe the hauntings that take place here are attributed to whiskey magnate Edson Bradley and his wife Julia. Witnesses have reported apparitions, strange sounds, temperature drops, disembodied footsteps and the sound of a broken organ playing on its own. These odd happenings earned the mansion its own episode of Ghost Hunters.

Though several ghosts are thought to remain in the mansion, the most prominent spirit said to haunt the property is the original owner’s wife Julia Bradley.

Julia loved her home and had no desire to leave it. When Edson wanted to move to from Washington DC to Newport, they had the entire mansion disassembled and rebuilt in Rhode Island, a process that took nearly two years to complete. Julia passed away only a few years later and it seems she still doesn’t want to leave. Her ghost is often seen playing her favorite Estey organ.

One year after Julia’s death, the mansion became an exclusive all-girl summer boarding school, renamed Burnham-by-the-Sea where incidences of smoke detectors going off for no reason, bottles flying off desks and radios turning on and off by themselves were often reported. Others have experienced various strange noises like phantom footsteps, disembodied voices, banging, and even shadows jiggling door handles.

[corinthbayrpg]

NAME. Violet Delacroix AGE & BIRTH DATE. 24 & May 16th, 1996 GENDER & PRONOUNS. Female & She/Her SPECIES. Witch ( earth + empathy ) OCCUPATION. Cocktail Waitress at Hypnos FACE CLAIM. Madelyn Cline

BIOGRAPHY

( tw: homophobia ) Violet Delacroix has always felt like her life was one long tightrope walk, the wire perpetually extending out far beyond the edge of her sight, but the consequences perilous for falling off. There was a certain burden to her family name, an expectation to live up to, set in place not just by her parents, but by the society in which they lived. An image of perfection to maintain outwardly, despite the cracks forming underneath the surface. Unfortunately for Violet, she was all too aware of those cracks.

Even as a little girl, the witch always seemed to be so attuned with other people. Teachers at school called her an empathetic child, without knowing how right they were. Though too young to recognize the hints of her own budding magic, the sign of who she would become, Violet felt aware of those around her in a way she didn’t know how to put into words. She connected with them, shared in their sadness and their joy, taking it into herself without even realizing it. And these feelings told her secrets, things that a small child shouldn’t be privy to. Like the friction between her parents, the resentment of her older sister, and the frustration of her brother. From the outside, they seemed like the perfect family, the highest standard of power and status in the community of witches in Chicago. On the inside, it felt like a family slowly rotting to the core.

That is not to say everything was entirely bad. Though her relationship with her mother always had a cold distance to it, Violet bonded greatly with her father Andrew and her siblings Camille and Lucian. She was the baby of the family, and all of them treated her as such, something which irritated her at the time, but she would later grow to miss. She grew into a girl with a passion for reading, almost never found without a book in hand, her favorite singer playing as background music at all hours of the day. She took dance classes and music lessons, and received the best instructors for honing her magic — an earth witch, just like her mother. A fact which Violet thought might bring them closer, but Annette’s cold stare never really softened when she regarded her children, no matter how hard they tried.

But no matter how the day went, it seemed as if nothing would waylay the terrors of the night. Plagued by nightmares from an early age, the youngest Delacroix began to fear sleep. The sleeping potions she was given always left her with a terrible groggy feeling, and no other protection spells laid against her mind did much to help either. It wasn’t until years later, when Violet was officially discovered to be an empath, that a workable solution was finally put forth. Unknowingly, she had been taking in the emotions of all those around her throughout the day, in particular their negative feelings, which affected her sleep at night. Only when she began to receive tutelage for her abilities as an empath, how to control what she both received and put back out into the world, did relief finally come.

Things got…. Better, after that. To a point. Not everything was so overwhelming to the young witch anymore. But it was never perfect; not like the outward image the Delacroix family projected. When both her older siblings went off to school, leaving Violet the only child left in the household, Annette’s attention was turned to her youngest daughter. Her mother’s standards were intense, an ever-reaching perfectionist who expected the same from her children, and the pressure only got more extreme after her brother’s scandalous departure. Things had been strange with him for a while, he came home from college once only to abruptly leave again after a mysterious fire in their father’s study. Though no one would tell Violet what had happened, she could only come up with her own conclusions, from the way she had seen him behave in his time at home, and the fact that their sister returned to their childhood home as well. Still, she never approached him on the matter, even when he appeared once again, deciding that he would tell her when he was ready. If only the day actually came. Instead, one day she came home to find both him and her sister gone completely.

Losing both of her eldest children affected Annette in a way Violet hadn’t seen before. Not out of concern for the welfare of said children, but for how it would be perceived by their social circle. The witches of high society Chicago were a gossipy bunch, itching for the newest scandal to use to propel themselves to higher standings. With both Camille and Lucian gone once again, this time with no promise of return, Violet’s success only became that much more paramount. And while one could say that she rose admirably to the challenge, it never seemed to be quite enough to satisfy. But she was poised to handle the burden, getting molded into an exemplary young lady, ready to carry on the legacy of the Delacroix name that both her older siblings had shunned.

One of the expectations placed upon her was that she would marry well, and to someone of their same status. Eager to embody the image both she and her mother wished her to hold, at the age of twenty-two Violet began to date the son of one of her mother’s superficial friends. She’d known him for most of her life, a relationship spanning from the days of their childhoods, and so it only seemed fitting that the two of them end up together. And it was okay. Not love, not like in all the books she’d read, but he was good to her and they were good together. They became the talk of their society, and everyone expected the pair to become a strong power couple to lead the next generation.

But something wasn’t quite right. She tried to ignore it, and did, for a long time. For nearly two years she buried the feeling inside, content that even if he wasn’t the love of her life, she would still be happy with the life they would have together. Or so she thought. But the truth has a way of making itself known, and for Violet, it happened on her twenty-fourth birthday. A magnificent party was thrown by her parents, everyone worth knowing in attendance, and right in the middle of the room with everyone watching, her boyfriend pulled out a ring and dropped to one knee. It wasn’t particularly unexpected, they both knew the connotations that came with their relationship when it began, but still, it was in that moment that the reality set it. Like a bucket of cold water to the face, Violet suddenly had to acknowledge the feelings deep inside that she had so desperately wanted to ignore — that marrying him, or any man, left her feeling sick to her stomach.

So she said no, and ran from the party. The young witch went to her father for comfort when the night was over, confessed to both her parents the fact that she couldn’t go through with it; couldn’t spend her entire life in a marriage that would be a sham, when the only time she’s ever felt the butterflies or giddiness of infatuation was around women. Andrew hugged his daughter, kissed her temple and told her he still loved her. Annette pulled her aside, a mother’s comforting grip on her arm, and spoke in low tones about how such information could ruin Violet. That it would be better for her, really, safer for her, if she kept it to herself. It was in that moment she realized what perhaps her older siblings had discovered long before; that the life that awaited her, if she stayed in Chicago, would never be a life she was truly happy with. And so with her father’s approval and one final goodbye, him even going so far as to take her to the airport, the youngest Delacroix left their family home behind once and for all.

She did not land in Greece immediately. It was a big wide world out there, most of it Violet had never seen, and though the thought frightened her, it was also exciting. She bounced around in the United States at first, exploring new cities in the comfort of her home country, before becoming bold enough to venture outside it’s borders. From England to France to New Zealand, she never stayed in one place for too long, unable to say exactly what she was looking for, only that she would know when she found it. Perhaps it was the pull of the veil that finally drew Violet to Corinth Bay, but within one day of arriving in the city, she had decided she found her place. Fortunate enough to not be cut off from her parents’ funds entirely — something she suspects is her father’s influence — Violet found both an apartment and a place of employment, and plans to set down roots for the long haul, unaware of the fact that both Camille and Lucian are already in the city.

PERSONALITY

+ cheerful, gracious, free-spirited - naïve, headstrong, perfectionist

PLAYED BY ABBY. CDT. She/Her.

[mearcatsreturns]

From Illusion to Reality, or Luka in ER’s Seasons 10-12

A couple days ago, I got a lovely anon who wanted me to talk about Luka’s journey from season 11 to 12. I may have gone overboard and expanded it. If you’re not interested in the whole, hella long post, I’ll summarize it in a couple pictures:

to

I’ll put it under a cut, because of how long it is, but I’d love comments and dialogue!

To talk about Luka’s trajectory from season 11 to season 12, I think it’s very important to consider season 10 Luka. His “coming back from the dead” served as a sort of topical soft reset on his character--at least to him. That is, while it undoubtedly deeply affected him and those around him and does seem to have led him to important realizations, it didn’t actually change his personality or his desires and loves.

Firstly, when Luka comes back from Africa, sick and with another woman, it’s still readily apparent that his love for Abby hasn’t gone anywhere. He might be able to deal with it better and not self-destruct to the same extent, but at least initially, what was Gillian (and later Sam, but that was more involved)? He’s the same Luka at work, too, though the outward trappings seem different. He still cares about caring for his patients, though he’s still in crisis mode. He has the same disregard for bureaucracy, though it’s about treating as many patients as quickly as he can to help the largest number of them instead of spending all his time with his patients, etc. 

It’s so interesting, because for the first half of season 10, Luka is torn between wanting to go back to Africa--where he even said things seemed simpler--and moving forward, probably with Abby. He legit lights up around her and is looking out for her constantly, and the only reasons they didn’t get together then were fear, some small misunderstandings, and a misguided sense of propriety. Then you can see it happening again--Luka backs off from Abby because he seems to think she’s hung up on Carter and because she’s his student. It’s not as hopeless as before, so he doesn’t spiral out of control, but he legitimately does the same thing he did in season 9 on a smaller scale. Sam thinks Luka is hot, he’s good with Alex, so she makes a pass at him, and Luka passively goes along with her making a move. Sound familiar? Yeah. The biggest difference is that Luka has realized that he was deeply unhappy with non-monogamy, so even though he falls back into sleeping with Gillian pretty quickly (after he forgot about her visit, lmao), when Sam is willing to grant him the opportunity for even a little bit of commitment, he takes it. 

Relatedly, Alex is a huge part of his journey in season 10 and 11. Or rather, Luka’s continuing longing for family and fatherhood. We’ve seen that from pretty much the beginning, and the only time it didn’t seem to be a huge driving force for him was with Abby. When he can’t have Abby and his love for her is thwarted, it’s like he looks for that kind of fulfillment from this idealized notion of family and being a dad again (see: Nicole, Sam). It’s not surprising to me that as Luka thinks Abby is unavailable and uninterested in him, he gets close to child...who has a single mother who thinks he’s good-looking.

It’s not a good fit. Abby describes hers and Carter’s relationship as doomed from the start, and you can easily talk about Luka and Sam the same way.  I could do a more Doylist explanation, but there’s plenty of in-universe material to say this--they and their relationship are plagued by problems from the very beginning. They’re never on the same page, any of them--not Sam, Alex, or Luka. Luka has a hard time articulating what he really does want from them, probably because he doesn’t want to fully examine that for himself. After all, if he has a good woman who cares about him and child he can be a father figure to--though not a father--why would he not be happy? Sam seems to want stability and sex, and Alex...Alex wants a friend. So yes, while there are a lot of external issues that come up, the primary impediment to Luka’s happiness with Sam and Alex (and for them as well!) is internal.            

As we go into season 11, we see, strangely enough, that Luka can’t be around Abby anymore while he’s with Sam. Like, @somekindofflowergirl  and I were looking and thinking about it, and we’re not sure he’s capable of talking to Abby when Sam is around until season 12 (not for more than a few sentences about whatever case they’re working on, at any rate). He starts brushing her off more and more, culminating in him all but dismissing her in 11.02 (shockingly, right after he tells Sam he loves her. Almost like there’s a correlation there, hmmmm). Instead, he focuses on his friendship with Carter and his relationships with Sam and Alex.

As the season goes on, Luka gets more miserable. Carter gets caught up in his own issues, Kerry and Susan are too busy to be there for him, and he’s busy pushing Abby away. But the tension is creeping into his home life, too. Alex lets him know in no uncertain terms that he will never view him as a father. Sam at first drags her feet about moving in with Luka, and then it seems like they have maybe a month or two of living before it sours and never recovers. He just...flounders again. Not as severely or apparently as in season 9, but he’s clearly looking for something again by the end of season 11.

Luka and Sam are on the precipice of breaking up at the end of season 11, but they prolong it for a variety of reasons. On the surface, it’s for Alex’s sake. In reality, it’s because they both want things from their lives that they get all the trappings of together, even if neither of them is happy with it. I mean, it gets to the point where  they can hardly talk at work or home, and Sam even says she doesn’t think they should be together. Then the situation with Steve, Alex’s birth father, blows up and worsens things, and Alex runs away. 

When they’re in the middle of nowhere in this crisis, Luka and Sam actually have to confront how poorly their relationship is going. Well, Sam does, though Luka is still feeling that fear of not having anything left if he loses Sam and Alex completely. But Sam says it eventually--they’ve been pretending for a long time. The truth is out, even when Alex is back. 

Luka, for all his many good qualities, does not handle life deviating from his plan or idea very well. He just straight up goes into denial (again, a recurring theme with him). 

BUT he also does something very right. He lets Abby back in. In season 12, a year after he blows her off, she tentatively reaches out again, just wanting to know if he’s okay after a case. She fully expects him to brush her off again, and you can see the surprise, delight, and relief when he opens up to her. And it’s interesting, because he tells her that he doesn’t want to talk about it with Sam, and that’s probably why Sam is moving out. 

Luka tries to talk to Sam in lockup, though he doesn’t offer any changes, which is fairly telling. And he says something even more telling: “I don’t want this to be one more thing I messed up.” He’s not so afraid of losing Sam herself or Alex, he just doesn’t want to have messed up at love (Abby) and family (his kids and even Danijela) again. He wants to be husband and dad because he remembers being happy in those roles, and even though Sam and Alex didn’t give him that, they gave him a lesser version of it. And since our Catholic boy loves rolling in that guilt and self-blame, he seems to think he should just take what he can get since he’s not worthy of more. When Sam and Alex can’t and won’t even give him crumbs anymore, he...I don’t know. He doesn’t really fall apart, because his heart isn’t really in it. It hasn’t been for a long time, if it ever was in more than a performative way (and Luka, for better or for worse, is not a fake-it-til-you-make-it kind of person). 

Once again, though, Abby is there at a moment where he’s willing to be vulnerable. And he says something so honest about what he wants: to be seen (12.03, “if it were me...would anyone know who I am?”). Abby’s yes, combined with her just being there for him unasked, seems to immediately grant him peace in that regard. He is seen and he is cared for. 

Luka never shows any signs of having feelings for Sam again, though he still looks out for her and Alex if they seem to be in trouble, but it’s no more than he’s done for friends and even strangers. In fact, they’re so back to friendly and professional by the next episode that it’s annoying and counter-productive when Eve tries scheduling them for different shifts.

Something else seems to have happened: Luka doesn’t rush off into an ill-advised romance or series of hookups. He isn’t pining, but he’s not frantically searching for family and fatherhood again, either. Given that each episode has them having a nice scene together that emphasizes their growing closeness and comfort together, it isn’t unreasonable to think that Abby is part of this. He isn’t pushing for more, but that’s not who he is with her, not after their first relationship. If friendship is all she can offer, that seems to be enough for him. In reality, it’s Abby being enough for him, but we’ll get to that later.

At that same time, one of Luka’s foils, Victor Clemente, arrives. Clemente exists narratively to be a catalyst for action in Luka’s life (which is why his role is such a mess once he’s accomplished that, but I digress) and it works like a charm. They butt heads from the start, and it’s the prospect of Clemente running the ER that goads Luka into applying for the position of chief. Kerry was right, it’s not his style at all, but also? A way for him to be everyone’s dad. (And yes, he’s better at it than Clemente would have been.) It gives him another marker of professional success, even if his personal life isn’t where he wanted it to be. As Luka’s foil, Clemente is also perceptive while Luka is oblivious. As such, he seems to see right through Luka and Abby to their connection, and he needles both, seemingly to get at Luka. It works, and as Abby says in 12.07 after their child patient dies, Abby ends up in the middle of it. 

Then, at the end of The Human Shield, Abby goes to Luka. This time she isn’t reaching out to him and going to him to support him, but to justifiably yell at him for putting her in the middle of a conflict between him and Clemente. But more importantly, Abby went to him and told him how she felt. She was vulnerable with him. And that...that was something he’d rarely seen, and not in a long time. Finally, that having woken him up to hope once again, he did something he hadn’t done in a long time: he took action. And that was something he didn’t do much, mostly with Abby, and he starts exploring it more throughout season 12.

I’m not going to turn this into a Luby meta (though I could also do that if anyone wanted, ahahaha), but 12.07-12.10 is Luka stepping forward and making choices. For love of Abby. He doesn’t push her for more so much as very obviously hope for it and ask, in his way, if she’s as in as he is. 

This extends to his professional life too! He (very sexily and pettily at the same time) takes charge of his new position and fires someone his first shift as chief. It was the right thing to do and he did it, but it wasn’t a passive reaction to something happening to him. 

Then at the end of 12.10, Abby drops the bombshell that she’s pregnant. Once he recovers from the shock of that, he does seem to spring into action, but...reserved action? He isn’t as proactive as he’s been so far, but he is also scared out of his mind that he’s going to lose Abby. Here he is, seemingly with everything he’s wanted for YEARS within reach. Not just a family, but Abby. And not just Abby, but a baby with her. But he also has years of experience with Abby, and he knows her fears, and he doesn’t want to lose her by scaring her off or pushing her for something she doesn’t want or that would make her miserable. 

So Luka lets Abby know what he wants but leaves it up to her, while also making one big mistake: he’s not clear about how much he loves her. He showed her with the compass, with gestures and moments, but he doesn’t seem to realize how much Abby needs the words. This is also typical Luka.

I love If Not Now (12.11) as part of his journey, because it’s when you finally see Luka realize, if he didn’t before, what matters most to him. He goes to Abby and tells her in no uncertain terms that it’s not about the baby, that he wants her no matter what. And that’s HUGE. Family and fatherhood have been a motivator for him for at least 4 or 5 of his 6 years on the show so far, so for him to say “yes, that would be nice, but Abby is the important one to me” represents a big shift. It gets swept over a bit in the subsequent and also life-changing news that she wants them to have the baby together and hasn’t had an abortion.

Most of the back half is solidifying what’s come before for Luka. We see him become more assertive professionally. He dotes on Abby and shows his commitment to her over and over, though it is interesting that in spite of how obviously in loved and devoted he (they, really) is, he doesn’t explicitly state it. I kind of think he’s worried that pushing for that, for everything that he wants, is asking too much of the universe. After all, he has the woman he loves and they’re having a baby together. 

You also see his compassion, not just with the patients, but in how he breaks his and Abby’s news to Sam. I don’t know that it was better for him to have told her, but it was a kind impulse borne out of a desire to do the right thing, and she knew that. 

Things get interesting again in Strange Bedfellows (12.18), when Luka tells Abby he’s thinking about going to Darfur to help Carter. We also find out Luka hasn’t told Carter about him and Abby or the baby. It seems a little odd of a choice for him, honestly. Not the keeping Abby and him and the baby a secret--I think that’s more compassion when he seems to have picked up on Carter and Kem maybe not doing so well and their continued mourning of Joshua--but the idea of going to Darfur. He’s new enough in his position as chief that it wouldn’t have been allowed, for starters, so I don’t think he’d have been able to go. And maybe that’s it--it was something he could do to help and make the world a better place for his baby (shoutout to @somekindofflowergirl again for this theory), and he wanted to try to go but probably knew he wouldn’t be able to. Also, he’s kind of an idiot sometimes, and one who sometimes loses track of the details when looking at the big picture. Which he did big time. 

But Abby, as she often does, grounds him and lifts him up at the same time. She makes it clear that he can go, but that she wants him there and wants everything with him. And that’s it for Luka. He’s already made it so he could stay, but you can see the light of “oh, maybe I can have everything I’ve yearned for” go off. The next couple of episodes show them settling into their commitment even more. 

Then the finale of season 12 comes (though I’m going to carry this through 13.02, as that feels like the real end of the season to me), and they’re clearly domestic and cute. For all Abby saying they don’t live together/hinting broadly for more clarification, they clearly have built a home together. I think Luka is trying to get her to realize she lives with him without saying it, which is a strategy, if not the best one. The second Abby voices her uncertainty, though, Besotted Idiot Luka jumps straight to saying they should get married, instead of, you know, telling Abby he loves her and wants to move forward with her. 

I think his reaction is another example of him poorly handling...it’s not rejection, it’s just they’re coming to the same thing from different perspectives. They do affirm their love, and it’s clear they would have dealt with things had they not been interrupted by everything that ensued. 

But interrupted they were. Abby’s abruption, Joe’s birth, Abby’s hysterectomy, Joe’s close call...what an interruption.Luka makes it so clear throughout that he’s there for Abby, that she’s his family. He obviously loves Joe and is devastated that he might be in danger and that they won’t be able to have a bigger family (though not as devastated as Abby, interestingly). That said, he renews his proposal to her and is CERTAIN of their love, even with the strain and uncertainty of Joe’s life.

Within a couple of years, he’s moved from trying so hard to look like he had everything together and trying to force it to having everything he’s wanted and more, even with the thorns and pain. It’s so much more than he could have hoped for, and he is more hopeful and settled.

[contemplatingoutlander]

I received two submissions about Tony. I’m not sure if they are from the same person or not, since they both used pseudonyms. Here are the two submissions:

This was submitted by “ovw”:

“Why do shippers continue to be so adamant that T is a failure, even claiming he’s bankrupt, because they saw evidence on Google search? The claimed scientist is the one who is the most vocal about it and the rest have posted and discuss him on their own blogs. So, now most of them claim the same thing. I know they hate C and T and lies sustain them but isn’t this damaging?”

This was submitted by “bkt”:

“Why are ES so vehement in their assertion that T is broke? They say there’s proof and anyone can search and see it for themselves. But there’s nothing I’ve seen that collaborates this. They state the building housing the bars was a lease not ownership. However, the city doc. they found shows that he owns the property not leasing and gave up the bars because they were not profitable. It’s true that he also says that to invest in the property is above his means but it could be just cover to not spend money on something that isn’t working. Also, I doubt what they found is everything about his investments and earnings. Nothing is complete online, even from sites that have some company info.”

Response from CO:

Thanks for your submissions ovw and bkt. Honestly, I haven’t been following all of this. I think it is inappropriate that certain ES and former ES have been searching the Internet to try to discover information about Tony’s finances. So I have no idea what is or is not true regarding this topic. However, I do agree with bkt that what can be found about Tony’s finances online is probably just a small part of Tony’s finances and investments. Tony also ran two bars and from what I’ve heard about that business, bars are rarely profitable. If Tony was able to run a couple of bars for several years in a major city, I’d say he did pretty well.

I want to point out that Tony has had more success than these women credit him with in his past career. Tony managed The Fratellis at a time when they had an album that went triple platinum. To me that is quite an accomplishment. (See POST.) You can see the framed platinum album in the background of the photo below (which must have been taken in Tony and Cait’s home).

The ES and former ES seem to need to see Tony as a failure to justify the SamCait narrative that he is Cait’s employee. This makes it easier to explain away why he is with Cait at so many important events in her life. Of course, they never mention that most other celebrities at these events don’t seem to need their PAs to be with them. 🙄 It also doesn’t explain why we have photos of Tony with Cait at two different New Year’s Eves (one in 2016 and one in 2014). NYE is a traditional date night–not a night where you bring you PA to a private gathering.

Regardless, these “fans” are behaving like tinhatters in other fandoms. Tinhatters across fandoms all hate the SOs of the people in their OTPs. The ES have expressed the same kind of hate in the past towards Abbie and MacKenzie.

In some ways the Tony hate reminds me of Frank hate among certain Outlander fans. Frank certainly had his flaws but he also did some good things and IMHO was a tragic figure. But some fans need to absolutely hate him. I think it is a similar phenomenon. Even though there is no way Frank could replace Jamie in Claire’s heart, it is as if certain fans can’t cut him any slack, for fear of it increasing his “threat” to the Jamie/ Claire ship.

That’s the best explanation I have for this phenomenon. Whatever the explanation (which I’m sure is different for different people), it often results in some pretty awful behavior. Some of these people are writing things on public blogs that border on libel.

In my opinion as an Outlander fan, the ES and former ES who spread negative rumors about Tony might want to ask themselves if this is how they want to behave. It really isn’t a good look. 

[edited]

[calzona-ga]

When we first met Dr. Jo Wilson (played by Camilla Luddington) on Grey’s Anatomy six seasons ago, her history was filled with all kinds of question marks. She knew that she was left at a fire station shortly after she was born, but that was it. This season, she’s made it her mission to find out where she comes from, and on Thursday’s episode, she finally took the plunge and went to meet her mom. However, instead of the desperate person she imagined had no choice but to give up her daughter, she found a successful, married mother with a beautiful house and a dog.

It only got more heartbreaking from there. Jo finally got the answers she was looking for, but they weren’t the ones she wanted to hear. Her mother told her everything: Jo was the product of rape, the man who fathered her is dead, and even though her mom tried to love baby Jo, she couldn’t stop thinking about the man who assaulted her. Then, there was Abby, a rape survivor who happened to be Jo’s patient the day she got back from seeing her mom. If you ugly cried your way through this episode, don’t worry—you’re not the only one.

We’ve learned a lot of tough stuff about Jo’s past this season, but this has been some of the darkest news yet. Seriously, wasn’t her abusive ex husband bad enough?! This week, Luddington caught up with Cosmo to fill us in on the emotional episode, what’s next for Jo, and how what she learned about her past could affect her relationship with Alex forever.

Over the last few seasons, we’ve seen more and more of Jo’s backstory revealed. How did you feel when you finally found out this huge missing piece? For seasons, I’ve been speculating as to why she was left at a fire station. I think I’d imagined that her mother was most likely a young drug addict, or there were financial reasons for giving her up. To finally find out that this was the reason was crushing. It’s beyond painful for both Jo and her mother and not anything I dreamed had happened.

What do you think Jo expected to find when she showed up at her mom’s house? I think, first of all, she’s shocked at the house itself. When we pulled up to film at the location and I saw how beautiful the house was, knowing that Jo had spent her childhood homeless, it was gutting. The seemingly perfect family, the dog — every part of that initial meeting was like a knife in her heart.

Why do you think she was so confrontational with her mom, even when she finally did start giving her answers? I think the feelings are messy and complicated and rooted in a deep deep pain. Even when she’s told about what happened, she’s been living with her own sadness for years. I think it’s a tornado of emotions and they spill out in this devastating way. I think at the root of it all is a longing to be loved back. There’s a lot of despair there over the entire situation.

Jo's case at the hospital was obviously a strong parallel to Jo's mom's story. Did that make Jo a better doctor for Abby? She was coming off the heels of listening to her own mother’s pain, hearing how she wrestled with telling anyone. When she meets Abby, I think she wants to be there for her in a way that she had wished someone had been there to support her mother. And yes, she is also a survivor of her own trauma regarding her ex. She wishes she had reported what happened to her. Maybe she can help someone else not experience the regret she has.

Can you tell me about the measures taken to ensure that this topic was handled with the proper level of care and empathy? I know that [our showrunner] Krista Vernoff and [producer] Elizabeth Finch absolutely had many conversations with RAINN. It was imperative to the stories that we wanted to tell that the research was done.

We wanted to use our platform to raise awareness and remind survivors that they are believed.Sexual violence affects nearly every family in America and we wanted to use our platform to raise awareness and remind survivors that they are not alone and they are believed. Part of that message ended up being portrayed in what we ended up calling the “wall of women.” Many survivors feel that their agency has been taken away from them after an assault; part of giving compassionate care afterwards is helping the survivor restore their sense of power.

In our episode you see that Abby needed to see a space that felt safe on her way to the OR. For her, that was a group of women, locked arm in arm, supporting her every step of the way. We’ve seen the power of that in past few years as survivors have stepped forward to share their stories and pursue justice. The people that “line the hallway” will look different for every survivor of sexual violence, but the support and solidarity is the same.

Is this the end for Jo and her mom (and these siblings that she never knew existed), or will we see more of this part of her family in the future? Right now I can’t imagine how she would re-enter her life. It seemed so final when she walked away. But I would love to see them reconcile in a way that they are both comfortable with, I’m just not sure if it’s too painful.

How will having these answers change Jo going forward?’ This changes her drastically. What viewers will witness is how this encounter completely takes over her life. We have yet to see Jo react to anything in this way before. It’s devastating and raw.

Do you think she will ever tell Alex what happened? I would like for her to tell Alex. I’m not sure she can avoid telling him forever, but that’s a very very painful thing to disclose to someone. I don’t think she’s fully processed it herself yet. I think even saying the truth out loud to him would break her right now.

Jo and Alex talking about starting a family someday was actually why Jo looked for her mom...Will this change the game for "Jolex"? I think it will derail a lot. You will see the ripple effect through the rest of the season. “Jolex” has been unshakable all season, but this does end up shaking them.

What can you tease about the rest of Jo's story this season? I’m not sure if “look forward” is the right way to describe viewing what’s to come. You’ll see a person slowly lose sense of themselves. You’ll watch a person implode.

[fire-of-the-sun]

The Core Four / The Four Pillars

If characters are the heart of a story, then their relationships are the soul. They’re the connections that inspire change on a character and plot level that further solidifies the overall themes.

In The 100, there are four relationships in particular I think stand out the most as the foundational dynamics of the show: Clarke/Bellamy, Clarke/Abby, Bellamy/Octavia and Kane/Abby. I’ll address each relationship individually and in relation to each other to support my theory.

PLEASE NOTE: This, of course, is in no way a means to suggest that these relationships are better/superior to any others on the show. They all matter in their own way. This is simply my interpretation of the impact of these four major dynamics in particular.

Each of the characters depicted in these relationships are also solid characters in their own right outside of them, each exhibiting well-developed arcs, unique personalities and solid motivations. It's also worth noting each of these characters have been mains since episode 1.

Beyond the obvious bond of family that Octavia/Bellamy and Abby/Clarke have that instantly binds their characters, there is also an immediate friction/gravity between the other two that invites the audience to pay attention to them and speaks of a larger story to come.

I will address each other these dynamics individually, why they’re important, how they’ve changed and where they may go in future seasons. Let's start with the blood/familial relations.

BELLAMY / OCTAVIA

Protecting his younger sister Octavia has been Bellamy’s #1 drive since he was a child - an immense responsibility bestowed upon him by their mother. This is a huge aspect of his identity and one that takes many seasons for him to learn to let go of.

Over time, their individual paths and personalities end up creating conflict between them. Octavia's dedication to becoming a Grounder warrior vs Bellamy's skepticism of them in particular comes to a head in S3, leading to a huge fallout between them.

This fracturing continues into S4 as Octavia continues down her negative path, pushing away those around her. By the end, the possibility of death in the Conclave allows them to put aside their past differences and hostilities and embrace as loving siblings once more.

Of course, even before this, the sparks of tension have always been lurking under the surface of their bond as Octavia's developing 'rebelliousness' as she finds her true identity on the ground often conflicts against Bellamy's desire to keep her safe above all else.

In S4, Bellamy finally learns (with the help of Kane) that he has to learn to let Octavia go - to be her own person, trust her to make her own choices and that he can't always save her just as he learns he has his own identity outside of his relation to her as well.

The good will they finally established by the end of S4 - after enduring their own individual trials - is further solidified in their final conversation over the radio. This is the last chance they get to speak for 6 years and it's a wonderful way to cement how far they've come.

Unfortunately, the resulting years were not kind to Octavia and the rift between them grows wider than ever after they reunite as very different people with conflicting loyalties and motivations. In a long history of complications, S5 marked their lowest point to date...

It will be a long road to recovery, but I have no doubt that they will eventually find their way back to each other. Fate has torn them apart and transformed them but at the end of the day they're still family and I believe the love they share will shine through again.

Overall, their relationship is an interesting representation of a close sibling bond and spotlights the ability to forgive loved ones, accepting other people for who they are and even letting each other go in a healthy way to grow as individuals.

ABBY / CLARKE

There are few bonds as strong as that between a parent and their child and Abby/Clarke present no exception. The very premise of the show wouldn’t exist if not for their love. Sending the kids to the ground was an attempt to protect Clarke from execution after all.

Similar to the familial bond of Bellamy/Octavia, they also struggle with the similar conflicts such as learning to let each other go & letting each other become their own person as Abby is in the unavoidable position as a parent of watching Clarke grow into an independent adult.

They struggled a lot in the beginning - separated by both physical space and emotional distance as, after losing her father, Clarke places the blame for it on Abby. This makes Abby even more determined to find and reconnect with her daughter.

Much of Abby’s story in the first two seasons revolves around the desire to keep her daughter safe - as any good mother would - and this is further exacerbated when Clarke continually puts herself/ends up in a line of fire and Abby naturally becomes even more protective of her.

Of course, this sparks conflict between them and they struggle throughout S1 and S2, culminating in some devastating decisions and betrayals that shakes Abby's view of her own daughter.

Abby progresses a lot in this regard, allowing physical distance between them and learning to accept that she has to let her daughter follow her own path wherever it leads her. Though she doesn’t always agree, she supports her, stands up for her and only ever wants what’s best.

By the end of S2, they've accepted each other for who they are/who they've become and remind each other that their love and support is ever-present no matter what. Even though Abby searches for Clarke after she leaves, she's resigned herself to the distance for the first time.

Their relationship is a wonderful and much needed portrayal, especially to show younger audiences, of the importance of a loving, supportive parent and learning to respect and accept each other for who you are and be there for each other no matter what.

Though they haven’t had as much significant interaction in later seasons as they did in the beginning, the love they share always binds them and continues to impact the story. I hope we will be able to see them spend more time together in the future after being separated.

This bond is one I’m hoping will play a role in the evolution of Clarke and Madi’s mother/daughter relationship as well, which can also be used to further their own relationship as Clarke comes to understand her mother even more (more on this later).

ABBY / KANE

Though they started in opposition to each other - clashing as Kane was driven by logic (head) and Abby by emotion (heart) - over time they were able to connect as allies, become best friends, close partners, trusting co-leaders and eventually fell in love.

Though Kane took steps towards redemption on his own, Abby eventually plays a beneficial role in his development as a source of support. She comes to believe in him - as a man, as a leader and someone she can put her faith in and work with to achieve the same goals.

Since S1 they only ever grow stronger, closer, more understanding. The shock lashing was one step back, but they quickly took two steps forward soon after as they came to understand each other better for it. This marks a huge, positive turning point for their entire relationship.

Through their challenges, they come to realize they are more similar than they thought and help each other become the best versions of themselves - a union that creates a powerfully effective pair as they lead their people into the longest period of peace on the show.

Like many relationships in S5, they also reached a low point after both suffered individual setbacks that negatively affects their relationship. They didn't get to work through all of this, but I have no doubt they find their way back to each other again once they begin to heal.

They’ve endured countless trials and tragedies but their love has endured it all and only ever grown stronger from it. Disagreements between them are handled with care, respect and maturity - a true example of what a strong and successful relationship should be like.

Through their interaction, they've come to represent healing, hope, redemption, understanding and, of course, true, selfless love as well as offer a refreshing portrayal of older love, the positivity of finding love again (Abby) and finding it later in life (Kane).

CLARKE / BELLAMY

Confirmed to be the main dynamic of the show, their relationship has evolved immensely since the beginning. Similar to Kane/Abby, they are introduced as a pair at odds whose opposition sparks change and often proves mutually beneficial to each other.

They were presented as co-leaders of sorts in the past, specifically in S1, which made a way for them to relate to each other in a way their fellow teens couldn't. The burdens of leadership and responsibility acting as an initial conduit to better understand each other.

That more direct co-leadership has diminished over time a bit and became defined more as support rather than actively making decisions together as they both have their own strengths and weaknesses in their interaction with others. They always work better together than apart.

They help each other become less polarized versions of each other. This is stated plainly multiple times as Clarke encourages Bellamy to use his head over/in tandem with his heart as, from the beginning, they've been presented as 'head' and 'heart' respectively.

They don't always agree though and are shown to be more than capable of calling each other out on their mistakes and encouraging the other to learn from them. A common friction that breeds growth.

Though their stories often lead them on separate paths with little communication, the show allows them to reunite at some point each season and there’s generally a sense of connection regardless of the amount of shared screen-time.

Given this lack of proximity (only a few months of interaction overall) keeps further exploration of their relationship at bay. Direct contact is key to this and they’ve been denied it in many ways. No matter what people want them to be, I believe this needs to be remedied first.

Because of this lack of time, they’ve also never truly been able to work through past issues and this is another thing that I feel is important to address before their relationship moves forward in any way. For example, Kabby had ample time and it helped them grow close faster.

Clarke/Bellamy hit quite a few roadblocks in S5 as well and logically have a lot to work through before they can see eye to eye once more, though, despite it all, surprisingly seem to be fine in the finale despite not having attempted any reconciliation yet...

Regardless, like many relationships on the show they've always represented redemption, forgiveness and the benefits of a trusting partnership that is sure to be a constant through the entirety of the series no matter what.

THE IMPORTANCE OF FAMILY

As a whole, the consistent theme of these four is that of family. Two of blood, two of bond/choice. Octavia/Bellamy are half-siblings, Clarke/Abby are mother/daughter, Clarke/Bellamy became unlikely friends and Kane/Abby represent the same bond as husband/wife/parents.

With this in mind - and knowing how much they impact the story - it’s easy to assume that family is being presented as the lifeblood of the overall narrative. They also represent different kinds of love - allowing familial, platonic and romantic bonds to shine equally.

These relationships also spotlight the characters that comprise them and further cement them as integral parts to this story. For example, Abby, Clarke and Bellamy are each represented in 2 of the top 4. That's pretty special!

I'd also like to note that these characters still connect with each other outside of these presented dynamics as well. For example, in many ways, Kane connects to every single one of these characters to some degree: Abby, Clarke, Bellamy and Octavia.

In many ways, Kane acts as the missing piece that helps to bind this family together: the husband Abby lost, the father Octavia and Bellamy never had and one that Clarke could have again. Which only further shows us that family is the heart of it all.

NEW DYNAMICS

Now, there's one more I need to address. In S5 we are introduced to Madi who, now in many ways, has become the driving purpose for Clarke. This is an unprecedented level of connection for the show to establish so late and with so little on-screen development/set-up.

Despite the fact that they are not afforded the same rich history or shared screen time of the other four, it's no question the show wants them to be the next big family dynamic - the fifth of the big mains that's bonded in mutual, familial love.

Regardless of their unconventional origins, their relationship represents a driving force that's certainly not new to the show. Both Abby and Bellamy were introduced in the beginning entirely motivated to protect their loved ones Clarke and Octavia as well.

IN CONCLUSION

Relationships/characters come and go, but these four have always remained – the only that have remained since the very beginning. No matter how they’re pushed or pulled apart, they evolve (for better or worse) but never fully break and I don't think they ever will.

Once more, this essay is not to negate the power of any other relationship on the show. All had their own impact and purpose from Clarke/Lexa, Monty/Jasper, Murphy/Emori, Raven/Abby, Octavia/Lincoln, Indra/Octavia, Indra/Kane, Monty/Harper and so on.

As a bonus, I think it's also interesting to note that 2/4 relationships parallel each other deeply and I don't think that's an accident e.g. Clarke/Abby and Bellamy/Octavia have similar elements as so Clarke/Bellamy and Kane/Abby.

[travllingbunny]

The 100 6x06 Memento Mori

Another late review from me, putting in one place all my thoughts about episode 6x06, from things that everyone has talked and posted gifs about a lot (like Bellamy’s emotional state) and had different stances on (such as, how you feel about Murphy and his character arc), to things that haven’t been discussed much (like some of my thoughts on the Flame and the Sheidheda plotline).

In the end, I talk a bit about my expectations and predictions for episode 6x07, Nevermind, which many will see tonight, and that I’ll get to watch tomorrow, and the following episodes.

I have huge expectations for Nevermind, but Memento Mori was a great set-up. I have to say, much as I loved other things in the episode (particularly grieving, emotional Bellamy and the hardest decision he ever had to make), my enjoyment of the episode rose by about 100% because of the last scene. Sometimes you don’t need to be surprised by a TV show: sometimes a reveal is something you expect and enjoy all the more when it finally happens. And oh, did it deliver. The scene was amazing, with the dreamy atmosphere, cinematography, the introduction to Clarke’s mind-wall (the prop department really outdid themselves with this one!), and the wonderful music. The 100 always has great, on-point musical choices, and this season has been one of the best in that regard.

Eliza Taylor continued to be amazing – maybe even better this episode than in 6x05, as Josephine was openly Josephine in front of some characters, continued to pretend to be Clarke in several others, with varying degrees of effort and success, and intentionally put on a pseudo-Clarke persona in front of someone who already knew she wasn’t Clarke, just to mess with his mind (the last one was reserved for Bellamy). While Josephine’s Clarke-act was absolutely terrible in 6x05 – because she didn’t even know almost anything about Clarke, so she was making blunders left and right – this time (after learning a lot about her from Murphy) she was, at times, a little more convincing and almost approached some version of Clarkeness, but this only produced the Uncanny Valley effect: it was like a skewed, caricatured version of Clarke and felt really, really creepy.

One such moment of Josephine playing a skewed version of Clarke was when she was fooling Raven, Emori and Echo. She was putting on Clarke’s serious, concerned look and tone of voice (Murphy must have coached her on all of that), but her phrasing at times still should have alerted them to her flippant attitude – as when she said that the whole murder and bodysnatching thing really lit a fire in Bellamy. Maybe that hint was too subtle - it was similar to her line “the Kane problem”, which Abby noticed, but Abby is Clarke’s mother after all and knows her better. Echo was surprised that Bellamy supposedly left by himself, not just that he didn’t ask her, but also that “Clarke” let Bellamy go by himself with the foraging party – but she was more concerned with Bellamy’s safety than she stopped to think much of Clarke’s behavior (and after all, she doesn’t know her that well compared to most others).

Josephine also used the same argument she tried to sell Bellamy in 6x04 and that served as more confirmation to him that she was not really Clarke – the whole “we have all done bad things, what right do we have to judge them, so let’s just do nothing and let the bodysnatchers continue doing their awful thing”. Real Clarke feels guilty and is critical of her own actions, but doesn’t start criticizing all of her friends unprompted and talking about how they’ve all done awful things, and certainly not in order to justify tolerating evil actions of someone else! But JosephineClarke’s argument is actually one that I have seen in the fandom – this idea that “there are no good guys”, that everyone is a villain, that Clarke and Bellamy and the rest of them are just as bad as the Mountain Men or the Primes (with some BS equations between completely different things such as “well, they all murdered innocent people” – so, apparently, defending yourself and your loved ones, the only way you can, from an evil overlord society in the process of horribly killing you to use your body parts, is exactly the same as brainwashing people into worshiping you as gods and stealing their bodies because you think you’re superior and should live forever!)… so therefore, they don’t have the right to fight against evil. After all, fighting evil also makes you do things like kill people, so why do anything? Just keep your head down and don’t do anything. But the show has (in the Abby/Jackson conversation in 6x05) addressed the fact that doing nothing and letting evil happen is as bad as doing evil. And there is something incredibly meta about Josephine, the show’s villain masquerading as the show’s hero Clarke, cynically uttering these lines to deceive our protagonists and make them complacent about the horrible things she and her family are dong, just as the same morally bankrupt argument is used by some fans to defend the show’s villains.

(In this episode, we learned even more (directly and through Xavier) about how awful the Sanctum society is – in addition to the fact they bodysnatch the hosts, they call people without the Nightblood gene (who therefore cannot happen to have Nightblood children) “nulls”. Nulls are not allowed to have children and get to do the lowest jobs, and there is also the sacrifice to the trees in the Offering Grove – which is apparently also “voluntary”, in the sense of people being brainwashed by a cult to sacrifice themselves.)

Bellamy never bought that this was really Clarke, and that Clarke would argue in favor of tolerating murder and bodysnatching, but Raven and the others swallowed it. It seemed to play right into Raven’s recent conviction that Clarke is not feeling guilty over anything and is just putting on an act, and into her self-righteous streak, which was in full force, even worse than before. Do I even have to point out the ridiculousness of Raven’s line that, unlike Clarke, she never did anything she regrets? I could start listing (as many of us have over the past week) facts such as: Raven tortured Lincoln with electroshocks, Raven tried to turn Murphy over to the Grounders to be murdered by prolonged torture for a crime that Finn had committed, Raven tried to get Clarke to kill Lexa and start a war over Finn even though that would have gotten many people killed including Clarke, Raven withheld medication from dying children because of rationing (and felt horrible about it), Raven made Clarke make a list of 100 people who would get to survive in Arkadia – while simultaneously bashing Clarke over it (“choosing who lives or dies is your specialty”), Raven gave Echo an OK to kill Shaw at one point, Raven participated in many of the hard and problematic things Clarke and the others had to do – blowing up Grounders on the bridge, burning 300 Grounders who had attacked them, etc., Raven was OK with potentially killing Raven left Clarke behind to die (and Clarke ended up alone on the deserted planet for 6 years as a result) and was ready to leave Bellamy, Monty, Emori and Murphy to die in the season 5 finale… Some of these things I don’t consider wrong under the circumstances, some of these were just one of the two bad choices – but that’s also true of most of the things Clarke has done. Being angry at Clarke for her recent betrayal is something I expected and was perfectly fine with, but being as hypocritical as Raven is now, that is really annoying. So what is going on with Raven now? Like many others, I haven’t enjoyed her characterization in season 6. It’s one of the few things I didn’t like this season. Murphy has also had his annoying moments, but he also has a real storyline, one that’s not just about being mean to Clarke. Raven currently does not. But maybe, as I’ve been hoping, this is all building up to a real character development and some sort of soul-searching. We have had many indications that Raven actually feels guilty and unworthy deep inside – Sinclair’s remarks to her in season 3, Shaw’s message “Tell Raven that she deserves happiness” – and that her high horse attitude is just a cover. I hope this is something that season 6 gets to really explore and resolve.

On the other hand, it was much more enjoyable to see Raven turning her anger and moral outrage at someone who really does deserve it – one of the Primes. And since Ryker is not a sociopath or narcissist, and does have the capacity for compassion and remorse, Raven’s words are, hopefully, going to make him rethink everything and realize he can’t go on like that. He’s been raised since teenage years and surrounded by people telling him that it’s OK to move from body to body and see others sacrifice themselves for you, but he’s over 200 years old and responsible for his own choices. And feeling sorry about hurting people is really meaningless if you go on and do the same thing again, without any intention to change. That makes you a hypocrite like Russell and Simone with their “thank you for your sacrifice” mantra said while murdering people who definitely didn’t make a choice to sacrifice themselves.

Speaking of which – Josephine really is devoid of any deeper feeling for pretty much anyone other than herself.  We already saw it when she killed her “best friend” Kaylee Lee, but that was supposed to be a permanent death. Now she managed to convince her mother to wipe the entire Lee family. (Interesting that she referred to Russell as being led by the heart. The show is again going with the pseudo-parallel between Russell and Simone and Bellamy and Clarke, as in the parallel Power Couple shots in 6x03). Bye bye, four of the Primes, including one we got to know a bit better. I can’t say I feel sorry, since I think all the mind drives will have to be destroyed by the end of this season, so a definite end would be put to bodysnatching. Now there are 8 more Primes who are “alive”, but two of them are still just on the mind-drives and out of commission (the two members of Miranda’s family, whom we haven’t seen in the present), and Josephine got 4 empty mind-drives. She gave two as payment to Murphy for his part in coaching her to fool Abby and getting the others (mostly Bellamy) to decide not to take revenge for Clarke, she promised Abby one for Kane, and it still leaves one. But the other Primes would certainly not be happy if they found out about all these things – now it’s not just the fact that Russell and Simone skipped the line for their daughter, when Miranda’s loved one was next, but also that they permanently killed four of the Primes. A good way to defeat the Primes would be to start by turning them against each other. Just saying.

Abby and Murphy are two characters whose current role and actions are pretty controversial at the moment and that fans disagree on. Both of them are the most convenient target for Josephine to corrupt and get on her side due to their current issues. With Abby, the debates are mostly about whether she has realized that Josephine is not really Clarke, and is just playing along and planning to wake the people on the ship, or if she really has been fooled, which many hold against her. I’m really not completely sure, even after watching the episode twice and replaying the last shot of the scene between Abby and JC. Abby did indeed notice several weird things about “Clarke” and seemed on the brink of realizing the truth, but that time, Josephine really went for the jugular and used all the cards Murphy has taught her to play: guilt over her addiction, over cannibalism and the Dark Year, turning Jake over, failing Kane due to her addiction and indirectly causing his injury/death by indulging Vinson because of her addiction, her idealization of Kane which is a result of both love and guilt, and even her relationship with Clarke – the last card JC used was telling “her mom” that she cannot lose her. But during the hug, as we saw their faces, Josephine was not the only one who didn’t look like a loving family member: Abby’s weird, blank look could be read in different ways. And I’m sure this is exactly what the show is going for, ambiguity. We’ll probably only be sure in two episodes. Abby’s face almost made me believe the theory that she’s just pretending, but at the same time, it would be too easy if she simply goes to the ship to wake an army to come to Sanctum. Or maybe she almost knows it, but doesn’t want to admit it to herself? At the same time, Raven definitely still doesn’t know that Clarke is dead, and if Abby hasn’t figured it out, she still won’t learn it for some time.

On the other hand, it’s pretty clear where Murphy stands and what he wants, but fans seem divided over whether it makes him a bad guy, whether they hate him, and whether it is in character. I think it definitely is, and shouldn’t be surprising. Murphy certainly genuinely wants immortality – he straight up told Bellamy in 6x05 that he finds the idea appealing. While he’s always been motivated by his own survival, it used to be all about trying not to die any time soon. I don’t think it would have extended to wanting to live forever – until he died this season and saw what he thinks is “hell”. I don’t know if we’ll ever learn what he saw, or if it will remain a mystery, and just used to motivate him. His fear of going to hell is driving him, and, of course, he wants Emori as his eternal companion. (That sounded like something from vampire fiction, which is weird.) Now, that doesn’t mean that Murphy doesn’t also care about Bellamy, Raven and the others, including Clarke. I do think he was sad to learn of her ‘death’, but, of course, his reaction was never going to be as strong as Bellamy’s or Madi’s. He would only feel that way if Emori died. But keep in mind that Murphy doesn’t know that Clarke is still alive and can be brought back. From his point of view, there is no use in antagonizing the Sanctum people, and risking the lives of Bellamy, Raven, Echo, Jordan etc. and of course, Emori and himself, just to avenge someone who’s already dead. And he’s never been a person with deep ethical convictions who would care deeply about the morality of bodysnatching in general, or the lives of unknown people who mean nothing to him. I do think he cares about his friends, and that he wasn’t just doing what he needed to do for immortality, but what he thought he had to do to protect them, even from themselves –as I’m sure he thought while he was trying to manipulate Bellamy. Now, when he finds out that Clarke can be brought back, it’s only then that he will really be put into a dilemma to choose between friends and immortality/fear of death.

What can I say about Bellamy in this episode that hasn’t been said by so many other people already, both in reviews and meta and in hundreds of gifsets and videos? Even the released script pages confirmed what was so obvious. This was a great Bellamy episode, and Bob Morley’s best performance this season. While I have enjoyed most of Bellamy’s arc over seasons 5 and 6 (just as every other season), and while I disagree with fans who claim that we haven’t seen Bellamy be emotional since season 4 (he had a lot of emotional, angry, hurt, passionate, happy moments over the course of the second half of season 5), we haven’t seen this kind of outbreak of emotion in a very long time. We can only imagine how Bellamy grieved for Clarke after Praimfaya, but I think this was even worse for him – because it wasn’t her choice and her heroic act this time – she was murdered (as far as he knows), and because, after learning to love on, he got Clarke back and lost her again, just as they had finally fully emotionally reunited. And to make things so much worse, he has to look at this person who is nothing like Clarke, mocking him by walking around in Clarke’s body. Bellamy’s arc in this episode was all about his pain, grief and despair, and the way he had to be strong and reign in his anger and desire for revenge, for justice, for something other than having to be there among people responsible for these her death. I love the fact that, even shackled and tied, he managed to tear Josephine’s self-portrait. On top of it, he had to endure Josephine messing by propos(ison)ing him to “help each other get through it” (hmm) while putting on a pseudo-Clarke soft, caring face and voice (which felt so fake, like a caricature) – which made him turn around because he couldn’t even look at her. She could have almost killed him there, and I don’t even know what he would have done if she had tried, but Murphy saved him through his and JC’s manipulation of both him and Russell.

Was JC’s lack of concern over her daddy’s life just because she expected Bellamy to back down from killing him, or did she expect him to kill Russell? I tend to think she thought he wouldn’t kill him, but wasn’t too worried if he did. In any case, I can’t imagine how difficult it must have been for Bellamy to decide to spare Russell and also agree to not take any actions against him and the Primes. And just like after Praimfaya, he decided to do “What Clarke would do” and what she would want him to do after her death – survive and try to keep all of their people alive.

Now, was their decision the right one? I think that deciding not to act out of revenge, prioritize that over survival and protecting people who are still alive, and especially, deciding not to get a lot of other people killed, was absolutely the right decision, and what Clarke would also do. Clarke could do all sorts of crazy and extreme things to protect her loved ones, but she never killed anyone out of revenge. However, that doesn’t mean that going along with the Primes is the right thing. Standing by and letting evil happen is not “being a good guy”. The Primes will keep killing and oppressing people and treating them like cattle if they are not stopped. And I don’t think Bellamy being for that in the long run. But right now, I think he feels defeated and has lost the will to live, rather than just survive and ensure his people’s survival. But everything will change when he finds out that Clarke is alive and can be brought back.

In the meantime, I really want to see Jordan’s reaction. He was MIA in this episode, but I don’t think he will be happy to play nice with the Primes, not just because of Delilah but also because he does have a strong moral compass and was horrified about bodysnatching.

Is anyone still pretending that Bellamy and Clarke are just BFFs? That’s a question I keep asking throughout the show. I’m sure that, if someone were to see just this episode out of the show, they would definitely conclude that Clarke was Bellamy’s girlfriend (wife?) that he is really in love with, while Echo is his good friend who works for him and may have a crush on him. Come to think of it, 90% of the show makes it look like that. He never seemed to think of his actual girlfriend while being broken up over Clarke, and Murphy never brought her up as a motivation for Bellamy to forego revenge and focus on his own survival and the reasons he has to live. Echo gave him a brief hug to try to comfort him, but Bellamy still left to grieve all by himself, away from all of them. He also once again rejected Echo’s suggestion (she assumed they would go and fight the Sanctum people) and instead chose the “What would Clarke do?” course of action.

At this point, I’m sure that the show is intentionally portraying their relationship like that, since it’s done that consistently, especially comparing Bellamy’s relationships with Clarke and Echo all season 6 – and the scenes where Echo gets some long-overdue character development have all been when she’s away from Bellamy.  Echo figuring out that Clarke has been bodysnatched – not through JC’s behavior, as Bellamy, but based on other evidence, such as how Jade behaved – didn’t end up contributing to the plot, as everyone else already knew about Clarke, so it was there probably just 1) to confirm that Echo is indeed smart and perceptive enough not to be duped, as a spy is supposed to be, and, I think 2) to develop her relationship with Jade. These two could have an interesting dynamic, as both are soldiers/spies who define themselves by following orders. Echo threatened to kill Jade’s “master”, and during the eclipse, Emori taunted her that she was still just following another master’s orders (Bellamy now being her ‘master’) and this seemed to resonate with her. At the same time, this time, Echo showed that she does have a compassionate streak when she mercy-killed the guard who was being slowly eaten by the trees in the Offering Grove, in spite of Jade’s protests. It puts her in a completely new kind of dynamic – Jade is like an even more single-minded version of her old self. The fact that Echo didn’t kill Jade and instead promised to come back (she has to do it soon, though, before the trees get too deep into Jade!) suggests we’ll see more of that dynamic.

Bellamy had the hard task to tell Madi the news of her mother’s death. But Madi is the one person who is definitely not going to play nice and who doesn’t want to restrain her desire to “burn the whole place down” for revenge. The question I’ve seen brought up is, is the Sheidheda arc even necessary to motivate her? Isn’t an angry teenage girl with a head full of dead Commanders, most of whom believed in the “Blood must have blood” mantra, already enough? I think that Madi is going to take some extreme actions, or we are supposed to be afraid of what extreme actions she must take, and that this is why they wanted to give her an extra push – and another plot about “facing your demons”, with Sheidheda as a “devil on her shoulder” character.

The existence of Sheidheda also poses the question, why is it that the Grounders think that having the Flame in your head is a good thing for the next Commander, when at least one of the voices inside is one they fear and consider evil? When Titus said that the Flame makes the good and the bad in a person stronger – it is because Commanders literally have different voices, good and bad, inside their head. But really, how beneficial has the Flame “wisdom” proven to be, even without Sheidheda? Almost every time we learned about advice of past Commanders (with the exception of Lexa's in 5x12), and that wasn't often, it didn't seem to be good or useful advice. In 3x06, Lexa said that the past Commanders were upset with her new path of choosing to forego war and revenge. (Was it really all of them? Including Becca?) In 5x13, Clarke thought for a moment that Madi got the wise advice to not kill the prisoners of war from the Flame - but she didn't, she got it from Bellamy.  And there's something about the Flame that never made sense and still hasn't been explained. It was created by Becca to help humanity by passing on knowledge and wisdom... and Becca was the first Commander. So how come Grounders managed to forget all about technology and history before the apocalypse? That never made sense even without the Flame. With it, and Becca's memories, they should have known even more about science and technology than the Mountain Men, and that could have helped defeat them. Mount Weather people were descendants of the US government employees, and some of them may have been great scientists, but Becca was a genius scientist. How did they instead turn into a medieval-level technology warrior society that worships violence and revenge? Something must have gone horribly wrong. And the only explanation seems to be Second Dawn, which seems to be behind the Grounder religion, and probably their world view as well. (That reveal really explained a lot.)

After we found out about Sheidheda from the trailer, there was some speculation to the effect of "since Grounder culture favors violence, war and revenge, what could have set this one guy apart, to the point that he is considered the Dark Commander?" From what we learned in this episode, Sheidheda was Chaotic Evil, whereas most Commanders were trying to stick to the tradition and were being either Lawful Neutral or Lawful Evil or somewhere in between. This guy apparently said, Screw tradition, killed his mentor, and actually did whatever the hell he wanted. And, well, killing your Flamekeepers, no doubt, the exact thing that would make the Flamekeepers talk of you as a dark, terrifying presence. Flamekeepers are mentors to the Commanders who want to maintain control and influence over the charges, even if they are technically supposed to be their subjects.  And what Sheidheda said about killing your mentor before they kill you.... he may have had a point? Not about Gaia, of course, but we've seen that with Titus and Lexa. He did try to control her, taught her toxic views like "Love is weakness", which are apparently generally a part of Flamekeeper teachings. He got upset when someone else - Clarke - started influencing Lexa with ideas contrary to his traditionalist Grounder ideas such as “Blood msut have blood”… and, well, he did kill his Commander, not intentionally, but it happened as an almost direct result of his desire to maintain his control over her and her views and political actions.

The B-plot with Octavia, Diyoza and Xavier had some big revelations in this episode, with the healing power of the sap from the withered trees, the temporal flare from last episode that has apparently withered Octavia’s arm and made it look like she is 150 years old (which, come to think of it, is roughly her chronological age) and the mysterious spirals that are signs of the Anomaly calling to her and Diyoza, as it apparently once called to Xavier. Now, some people speculate that Xavier is Gabriel, but I don’t believe that. His personality is nothing like Gabriel’s, from what we’ve seen of Gabriel so far, and I imagine Gabriel is even more guilty and sad these days – nothing like Xavier’s lively, snarky personality.  I don’t think we’ll see these characters in 6x07, but (spoiler – if you consider titles of future episodes spoilers) we should learn what the Anomaly is in 6x08. I expect the bodysnatching story to be wrapped up in season 6, but I think this plot with the anomaly offers a lot of different possibilities, with its time-warping theme, and may continue to be addressed in season 7, kind of like the City of Light was set up in season 2 but fully developed in season 3.

The last scene was a perfect intro into the upcoming episode 6x07. I have huge expectations, because I have been wishing for a Clarke-centric, character-based episode like that for a long time. I love psychological SciFi stories, and Clarke fighting Josephine in her mind, while dealing with her own demons and her own past, seems like a dream. I must say, while it’s been fun analyzing and identifying various scenes and characters from the drawings from the walls of Clarke’s mind-space and various lines that were heard on top of each other and half-drowned in music, most of these are just Easter Eggs for hardcore fans. What matters most is what the show focuses on. In this episode (ignoring the sneak peeks), the scene focused on the drawing of Abby (as we heard lines from the very first scene of the show), then Lexa, and then Bellamy, which was an interesting choice. But I hope people don’t get too distracted by questions such as “which characters will be referenced and how many times”, “which past actors will have cameos”, etc. I don’t want the episode to be a clip show – I would love references to everything that has impacted Clarke, but what’s important is that it is all for the purpose of Clarke’s character development, her emotional state, her ability to fight her own demons and decide that she really wants to live and deserves happiness. And for her to be able to fight Josephine and signal Bellamy others that she is still there.

Rating: 9/10

[sometimesrosy]

As the show has progressed, I feel like Raven and Clarke have been slowly pulled apart both physically and emotionally/mentally (getting to the point in 4x13 where Bellamy is the one that gives Raven a successful pep talk), and I agree with a lot of your meta that this distance will play a part in the way that our characters come back together. What do you think are the cornerstone moments in Clarke and Raven's relationship?

YES! That moment when she couldn’t inspire Raven to fix the rocket and had to turn to Bellamy to do it? That was a marker for me that showed how far they had come apart. 

You know, I’m not sure I could tell the cornerstone moments in their development. I maybe have neglected the development of their relationship. I think it’s easy to do so, because they have really been at odds so many times. Their entire relationship began with Finn between them, and even when they both left him behind, there was still jealousy, and then war, and then Finn who had massacred a village and Clarke who killed him. Raven blamed Clarke for a lot of that. 

This is something I have never been comfortable with, but I don’t think Raven has ever let it go.

So, I think Raven started out wanting to feel a connection with Clarke, because of Abby. And there was a respect there, because they recognized the other’s value, but Finn was always between them. Even with that really important moment of “I’d choose you first,” that was because FINN didn’t choose Raven first and that hurt her. Then they were separated and their reunion was nice.

BUT then, even after working together to save Finn, Clarke ended up killing him. Raven TOLD her to kill Lxa, gave her the knife, and she used it to kill Finn instead and Raven never forgave her for that, even though killing Lxa would have sentenced Clarke and Finn to immediate death and then they would have massacred all of camp jaha. 

Raven didn’t understand what Clarke had done, really, until she saw Lxa torture Gustus to death, and even then, I don’t think she forgave Clarke for her decision to kill Finn. 

She uses it instead to prod Clarke forward and get her to do things Raven thinks she should. She did it in season 2, where she told her she didn’t give up so Clarke didn’t get to either. She did it again in season 4, where she told her that she was always the one who decided who lived or died (this is a direct dig at killing Finn) so she had to make that list. 

Clarke has had her difficult journey, struggling with leading and making the right decisions and keeping people safe and running away from pain. But Raven has also had a difficult journey, struggling with her health and will to survive, and need to be the person with the mechanical knowhow to get the job done.

But I do not feel like Clarke and Raven’s relationship goes in a forward motion, getting stronger and deeper, like Bellarke, even with their obstacles constantly put between them.

I feel like Clarke and Raven’s relationship has gotten continuously more complex and HEAVY.

I do not think they have EVER dealt with the original pain that came between them. Finn. And Raven continues to hold Clarke responsible for things. And Clarke continues to FEEL responsible for things, and feel permanently damaged from it. 

I believe they love each other. Raven is always worried about her when she’s away, but when she sees her, she almost always it at odds with her, blaming her for the things she has done to save everyone, and acting like she has no part in it. Clarke always reached out to Raven first… after Bellamy, and is often scolded or rebuffed by Raven. Leading to that Praimfaya scene where Clarke CAN’T connect with her.

I think Clarke and Raven’s relationship is deeper than friendship. It seems to resemble a sibling relationship. Sisters. Raven is the older sister. Raven is the one who always nags Clarke or scolds her. They not only share Finn, but also share ABBY, as mother/mother figure. Oh so messy. And now Raven is family with the people who left Clarke behind. It’s been six years, but Raven and Clarke can communicate without words and get the job done, even with a betrayal or two between them. They are STILL a team. They are still connected. But there are other things for Raven to hold Clarke accountable for… things that are about Raven’s family… so she’s got to decide if spacekru is her family, then what is Clarke to her?? Is Clarke still her family or is that gone after six years, after closing the door on her, after leaving her alone on earth and not coming home. Would Raven have worked harder to get them home if she had known that Clarke was alive? If she hadn’t given up hope? What happens now when her new sister Echo is at odds with her old sister Clarke? Does she side with Echo and leave Clarke on the other side of the door again?

This is a lot of responsibility. Raven has to make her own choices and decide, not who lives or dies, but who belongs and who doesn’t. That’s gonna hurt. Is Clarke going to stand up for herself with Raven? Because she never has. She always accepted whatever Raven said to her, and took it. D:

Oh. We’ve never heard anyone talk bad about Clarke TO Raven. We’ve only heard Raven confront Clarke. What happens if someone ELSE treats Clarke like the enemy? You know that rule about how you can talk as bad as you want about your sibling but no one else is allowed to? This could be an issue.

Oh I don’t think season 6 will be easy on Raven, in regards to her relationship with Clarke. I think she’s going to have to face up to what she owes Clarke and how Raven was not actually ever there for Clarke. :O

I wanted to have an easy outline of Clarke and Raven’s relationship. But I don’t have one. They have always shared an antagonism, and blame, and a desire for approval. Raven has always pushed Clarke away and Clarke has always run away. It’s interesting that Clarke and Bellamy continuously confront each other and hold each other accountable, but Clarke is unable to stand up to Raven. ??? Am I forgetting any time? Even RavenALIE was very defensive. My meta on this seems to be mostly about Raven’s pov. I don’t know why. I feel like Clarke is rather passive in their relationship, allowing Raven to lead. 

Clarke and Raven’s relationship is a MESS. Will they finally get to work it out in season 6? I really don’t know. I can see a trajectory to Bellarke, part of that is because it is the central relationship and now a main plot. But Raven’s stories have always been side plots and Clarke’s relationships with the other characters have also been side plots. They generally aren’t tied into the main themes, but more are tied to the plot and move the story forward. BUT I see princess mechanic stories finally tied in with the forgiveness storylines that MANY of the characters need to face. AND with the c/b/e love triangle, which will hopefully allow the pain of the OLD c/f/r love triangle to finally be exorcised. 

[patriotsnet]

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How Many Seats Did Republicans Gain In The House

What To Watch For

Following the Census count, all states are tasked with drawing new legislative district maps that reflect the population shifts. Most states leave that responsibility up to the legislatures, though more states are now handing the process off to an independent commission. Because of Republicans dominance in statewide elections, they control the redistricting process in more states than Democrats do. Republicans are in charge of line-drawing for 187 congressional seats, while Democrats control just 87, according to the Cook Political Report. Population growth in states such as Texas, Florida and North Carolina, means the GOP is to increase its grip on power. Some House members who represent districts in states that lost seatssuch as West Virginiawill be forced to retire or try and win in a new district running against another incumbent in their state.

Democrats Flip 39 Seats In Latest Tally As Losing Gop Rep Mia Love Tears Into Republicans Over Treatment Of Minorities

Democrats made a net gain of 39 House seats in this year’s midterm elections, NBC News has concluded, after Democrat Ben McAdams defeated GOP Rep. Mia Love in Utah’s 4th Congressional District.

That race was NBC News’ lone remaining uncalled contest.

The gains that propelled Democrats to retake the majority in the House come on the back of the largest margin of victory, in terms of total votes, that either party has seen in a midterm election. Democrats held the prior record for vote margin, which came in 1974 with the backdrop of the Watergate scandal.

Though President Donald Trump’s first midterm election was not particularly kind to him, it is common for the party not in control of the White House to make significant gains in that initial midterm. On the House side, President Barack Obama saw Republicans make a 63-seat net gain in 2010, while President Bill Clinton watched as the GOP picked up 54 seats in 1994.

Its Not All Bad News For Democrats

While it was unquestionably a good night for Republicans, Democrats still held onto most of the seats they won in 2018 and will continue to be the majority party in the House. Thats in part because they retained most of the suburban districts they picked up in 2018.

Of the 233 seats that Democrats held coming into the election, 186 of them were in districts that were predominantly or partly suburban in nature, according to density categorizations by Bloombergs CityLab. Thus far, Democrats have lost seven of those seats, but they captured one GOP-held suburban seat around Atlanta. And thanks to redistricting, theyve also won two formerly Republican seats around Greensboro and Raleigh in North Carolina, which reflect the partys strength in more populous areas.

Because of their relative success in the suburbs, Democrats kept many seats in places President Trump won in 2016. Coming into the election, Democrats held 30 seats in districts Trump carried in 2016, and they wouldve lost their majority if theyd lost more than half of them . But theyve won 18 of them so far and picked up one from the GOP . In fact, more than half of Republicans gains have come in seats representing places that Trump won by a pretty sizable margin in 2016. Well have to wait a bit before data can tell us how congressional districts voted in 2020, but for now it seems many Republican gains were made by picking off the lowest-hanging fruit.

Trump Shames Republicans Who Lost Midterms Did Not ’embrace’ His Support

“The president’s behavior towards me made me wonder, what did he have to gain by saying such a thing about a fellow Republican?” Love said. “It was not really about asking him to do more, was it? Or was it something else? Well, Mr. President, we’ll have to chat about that. However, this gave me a clear vision of his world as it is no real relationships, just convenient transactions. That is an insufficient way to implement sincere service and policy.”

Love then tore into Republicans for their treatment of minority voters before vigorously defending conservative policies as more beneficial to all Americans.

“Because Republicans never take minority communities into their home and citizens into their home and into their hearts, they stay with Democrats and bureaucrats in Washington because they do take them home or at least make them feel like they have a home,” Love said. “I’ve seen the cost of conservatives for not truly taking people into their hearts.”

“Democrats saw newly elected black members and women into Congress this election,” she continued. “This is a matter of fact that Republicans lost in this regard. However, minority communities need to ask themselves this question also: At what cost? What is the cost of staying with the Democrat Party that perpetually delivers exactly what you need to stay exactly where you are?”

This story has been updated to reflect NBC’s retraction of its call for the Republican in California’s 21st congressional district.

Why Did The Republicans Perform So Well In The Us Congressional Elections

Three factors played a part: preconceptions, policyand polls.

One of the manyironies of Republican support forPresident Donald Trumps effortstochallenge the outcome of the 2020 election is that the Republican Party, save the president himself, actually did very well in it. Unless the Democrats manage to win both runoffs in the special election early in January, Republicans will keep the Senate. While Democrats held on to their majority in the House, the margin of that majority has shrunk, leaving the party to worryabout 2022 already.

This was unexpected:Joe Biden was polling ahead, yes, but so were Democrats in many congressional races. Yetrelative Republican success followed. The Republican Senator Susan Collins, who was expected to lose her Maine seat, not only won, but won quite comfortably. In Iowa, almost all polls besides the states own Des Moines Registershowed a tight presidential race. In fact, not only did Trump win the state, but the Republican Senator Joni Ernsther seat and the Democratic Representative Abby Finkenauer lost hers.

All of which raises the question: what went right for Republicansand wrong for Democrats?

There are three possible answers: preconceptions, policy and polls.

Theres a third possibility,which is that polls were wide off the mark about support for Trump, and for the Republicans more generally.

Watch Georgia North Carolina Florida And Arizona

Nathan L. Gonzales

ANALYSIS More than 16 months before Election Day, new House district lines havent even been drawn, and yet the fight for Congress is likely to hinge on the outcomes in four critical states.

On a basic level, every state matters in the Senate, considering Republicans need to gain just a single seat to get to the majority. Each significant recruitment development would instantly affect the handicapping of a race and the fight for control. But there are other states less dependent on a single candidate.

Every seat also matters in the House, where Republicans need a net gain of five seats for a majority a paltry number in a body of 435 members and in the face of the midterm history, which favors the party out of the White House. And some states, such as Texas, are of particular importance to one of the chambers. But a handful of states are hosting competitive races that will affect control of both the House and the Senate.

Incumbents Who Sought Other Offices

U.S. House members who ran for President

1 Democratic member of the U.S. House

Running for president, 2020

U.S. House members who sought a seat in the U.S. Senate

2 Democratic members of the U.S. House

3 Republican members of the U.S. House

Running for Senate, 2020

U.S. House members who ran for governor

1 Republican member of the U.S. House

Running for governor, 2020

U.S. House members who ran for another office

2 Republican members of the U.S. House

1 Democratic member of the U.S. House

Running for another office, 2020 Name No

An Incoming Class Of History

Several of the newly elected state representatives are making history.

The Republican Madison Cawthorn, 25, who beat the Democrat Moe Davis to represent North Carolina’s 11th Congressional District, will become the youngest member of Congress in modern history.

The Democrat Cori Bush is set to become the first Black congresswoman from Missouri after winning in the state’s 1st Congressional District.

The Democrats Mondaire Jones and Ritchie Torres will also be the first openly gay Black men to serve in Congress, after winning in New York’s 17th and 15th districts respectively.

And nine out of the eleven Republicans who have so far unseated incumbent Democrats are women wins that will drastically expand the representation of women and especially of women of color in the House Republican caucus.

Currently, there are just 13 voting female Republican representatives in the House and 11 female Republican incumbents who ran for reelection in 2020.

Why Did House Democrats Underperform Compared To Joe Biden

The results of the 2020 elections pose several puzzles, one of which is the gap between Joe Bidens handsome victory in the presidential race and the Democrats disappointing performance in the House of Representatives. Biden enjoyed an edge of 7.1 million votes over President Trump, while the Democrats suffered a loss of 13 seats in the House, reducing their margin from 36 to just 10.

Turnout in the 2018 mid-term election reached its highest level in more than a century. Democrats were fervently opposed to the Trump administration and turned out in droves. Compared to its performance in 2016, the partys total House vote fell by only 2%. Without Donald Trump at the head of the ticket, Republican voters were much less enthusiastic, and the total House vote for Republican candidates fell by nearly 20% from 2016. Democratic candidates received almost 10 million more votes than Republican candidates, a margin of 8.6%, the highest ever for a party that was previously in the minority. It was, in short, a spectacular year for House Democrats.

To understand the difference this Democratic disadvantage can make, compare the 2020 presidential and House results in five critical swing states.

Table 1: Presidential versus House results

Arizona

How Republicans Pulled Off A Big Upset And Nearly Took Back The House

Analysis by Harry Enten, CNN

There seemed to be one safe bet when it came to the 2020 election results: Democrats would easily hold on to their majority in the House of Representatives. Not only that, but the conventional wisdom held that Democrats would pick up more than the 235 seats they won in the 2018 midterm elections.

will have a majority has projectedJack Kersting FiveThirtyEight clockedThe Economist modelfinal polling averages at the Crystal Ballwhat polls suggestedCook Political ReportInside Electionsare leading

Incumbents Defeated In Primary Elections

The following table lists incumbents defeated in 2020 House primary elections or conventions.

Incumbents defeated in primaries

See also: Incumbents defeated in 2018 congressional elections

In the 2018 midterm elections, 378 U.S. House incumbents ran for re-election. This was the lowest number of U.S. House incumbents seeking re-election since 1992.

Thirty-four incumbents9 percentlost their re-election bids. That included two Democrats and 32 Republicans. This was the highest percentage of incumbents defeated since 2012, when 10.2 percent were not re-elected.

The following data for congressional re-election rates from 2000 to 2016 was reported in Vital Statistics, a joint research project of the Brookings Institution and the American Enterprise Institute. Find the original datasets and methodology . Data for the 2018 election came from .

Defeated U.S. House incumbents by party, 2000-2018 Year

U.S. House incumbents retired, defeated, or reelected, 2000-2018 Year Percentage of those seeking reelection 2018 97.8

Popular Vote By Party And State

The following table displays the total number of votes received and the number of seats won by party for each state in the 2016 U.S. House elections. It also compares the percentage of the total vote received by each party to the percentage of seats in the state won by each party. Some interesting facts:

Republican candidates received 49.13% of total votes cast in 2016 and won 55.4% of U.S. House seats. Comparatively, Democratic candidates received 48.03% of votes and won 44.6% of races. Third-party and write-in candidates received 2.56% of votes.

Third-party candidates received the highest percentage of votes in Arkansas with 18.42% of votes cast. Comparatively, Democratic candidates only received 10.42% of the total votes cast in Arkansas. This is likely due to the fact that the Democratic Party only fielded a general election candidate in one of the state’s four House races.

There were two states in which the party that received the most total votes won a minority of seats, Virginia and Wisconsin. In Virginia, Democratic candidates received 49.17% of votes but only won 36.36% of seats , while Republican candidates received 48.74% of votes and won 63.64% of seats . In Wisconsin, Democratic candidates received 49.85% of votes but won 37.5% of seats , while Republican candidates received 45.89% of votes and won 62.5% of seats .

United States House Votes by Party and State State

R Favored

Whocontrols State Legislaturesin States With Changes

Thirteen states were affected by the 2020 Census’ shift in congressional seats.

States are given the task of redrawing districts whenthey gainor loseseats.

Michael Li, senior counsel for the non-partisan Brennan Center for Justice’s Democracy Program,saidthe country could be poised for a battle overgerrymandering, the practice of redrawing district lines to favor one party over the other or to suppress the vote of communities of color.

In some states, the process is fairer than others, he said, because they are not controlled by just one political party or they have instituted an independent redistricting committee, such as in Michigan. But for other states, the party in power stands to control the map.

Just How Bad Was The 2018 Election For House Republicans

Chris Cillizza

On Thursday, Democrat Jared Golden beat Maine Republican Rep. Bruce Poliquin, marking the 33rd seat pickup for Democrats in the 2018 election.

There are seven races in the House left uncalled all are Republican-held seats; Democrats lead in five of the seven. If they win all the races where their candidates are winning at the moment, Democrats will net 38 seats. If they lose them all which is very unlikely they will hold at a 33-seat gain.

In an interview Wednesday with the conservative Daily Caller website, President Donald Trump insisted that by his aggressive last-minute campaigning across the country he had saved House Republicans from seat losses that could have numbered into the 70s. I think I did very well, he concluded.

So did he? As compared to history?

Not really, is the answer.

Theres no question that Trump did not suffer the massive seat loss that his immediate predecessor Barack Obama did in his first midterm election in 2010. In that election, Republicans netted an astounding 63-seat gain, the largest since Democrats lost 72 House seats in the 1938 midterms.

But more broadly, the 33 seat loss by Republicans in 2018 places this election firmly in the upper echelon of House-seat losses by a presidents party in modern midterms.

Read Thursdays full edition of The Point newsletter, and to get future editions delivered to your inbox.

Rising Violent Crime Is Likely To Present A Political Challenge For Democrats In 2022

But there are roadblocks to fully enacting Democrats’ agenda. Their thin majorities in both chambers of Congress mean nearly all Democrats have to get on board with every agenda item in order to push through major legislative priorities. And without adjusting or eliminating the legislative filibuster in the Senate, Democrats need 10 Republicans to join them for various legislation a near-impossible task.

Betting On Major Domestic Policy Programs

“We’re making a bet on substance,” Maloney says, before adding a colorful adage: “What’s the old saying any jackass can kick down a barn, it takes a carpenter to build one. It’s harder to build it than to kick it down. And so we’re the party that’s going to build the future.”

That future includes proposals to combat climate change; overhaul immigration laws; massively invest in traditional infrastructure like roads, bridges and expanded access to broadband, along with investments in affordable child care and early childhood education; and provide an expanded child tax credit with payments that top out at $3,600 a year per child.

Tens of millions of American families are already starting to receive those direct cash payments.

“That’s a huge thing for a family trying to pay for the kids’ basketball shoes or keep food in the fridge till Saturday when it’s been running out on Thursday,” Maloney says.

The monthly credit is scheduled to last one year, but some Democrats have already discussed making it permanent.

The influx of government aid is projected to cut poverty nearly in half in 2021, according to a new analysis from The Urban Institute first reported in The New York Times.

“No Democratic majority, no Democratic president, has made this much progress in a long time,” Maloney says.

The Number Of People Each House Member Represents Will Change

The number of residents represented by each House member will mostly growin 2022, though it will decrease per representative in some states.

Since Montana gained a representative, its two House members will now split the state’s population currently represented by Rep. Matt Rosendale, a Republican. The addition of another House seat means Montana’s House members will represent the least amount of people compared to House members in other states.

Delaware’s sole House district, currently held by Democratic Rep. Lisa Blunt Rochester, will be the largest in terms of population.

Republicans Are Expected To Gain Seats In Redrawn 2022 Congressional Maps But Democrats Could Be Worse Off

U.S. Census data released Monday will shift political power in Congress, reapportioning two House seats to Texas and one each to Florida, North Carolina, Oregon, Colorado, and Montana and stripping a seat from California , New York , Illinois, Pennsylvania, Ohio, Michigan, and West Virginia. Florida, Texas, and Arizona each controlled entirely by Republicans had been expecting to pick up an additional seat.

“On balance, I think this reapportionment offers a small boost for Republicans, but the bigger boost is likely to come from how Republicans draw these seats in Florida, Texas, North Carolina, and Georgia,” the Cook Political Report‘s Dave Wasserman tells Axios. “Reapportionment itself means little compared to the redistricting fights to come.” It won’t exactly be a level playing field.

“Republicans control the redistricting process in far more states than do Democrats, because of GOP dominance in down-ballot elections,”The New York Times reports. “Democrats, meanwhile, have shifted redistricting decisions in states where they have controlled the government such as California, Colorado, and Virginia to independent commissions intended to create fair maps.”

House seats broken down by final redistricting authority :

– Republican: 187

Dave Wasserman April 26, 2021

More stories from theweek.com

The Justice Department Puts States On Notice About Election Audits And Voting Changes

“If they’re going to try to rely on rigging this game, because they don’t have a plan for the future and they can’t talk to the voters about their ideas and their vision, well, I think that makes me proud to be a Democrat.”

Maloney also posits that GOP turnout will be depressed in an election that doesn’t feature former President Donald Trump himself.

“There’s no evidence that this toxic Trump message will motivate voters without Trump on the ballot,” he says. “If the other side is making one big mistake, I think that might be it, which is a doubling down on this toxic Trump message of division and anger and racism and yet there’s no evidence they can pull out voters with the message without the messenger.”

He points to Texas Republican Jake Ellzey as a recent example. Ellzey was sworn in to the House on Friday, days after winning a special election that saw him defeat a Trump-backed candidate.

Maloney underscores: “It seems like the Trump endorsement’s not what it used to be.”

Here are more highlights from his conversation with NPR’s Susan Davis.

On polarization in Congress:

On the Republican Party:

On his own reelection in 2022:

Facebook

Republicans Are Well Positioned To Take The House In 2022

Although we dont yet know the winners of some House races, we can already look ahead to the 2022 midterms and see a fairly straightforward path for the GOP to capture the House. Midterm elections historically go well for the party thats not in the White House, and the out-of-power party is especially likely to do well in the House, since every seat is up for election .

Since the end of World War II, the presidential party has lost an average of 27 House seats in midterm elections, as the chart below shows. No matter how many seats Democrats end up with after 2020s election at this point, they will probably end up somewhere in the low 220s a loss of that magnitude would easily be enough for Republicans to retake the House.

The recent history of midterms in a Democratic presidents first term seems especially promising for the GOP, too. Following Bill Clintons election in 1992, Democrats lost more than 50 seats in 1994, and after Barack Obama won the presidency in 2008, Democrats lost more than 60 seats.

If Democrats had added five to 10 seats this year, they could have survived a 20-seat loss in the midterms. Instead, Republicans will probably need to win fewer than 10 seats to gain a slender majority in 2022.

Numerous Freshman Democrats Lost Reelection

The vulnerable first-term Democrats who Decision Desk HQ projects to lose reelection are Reps. TJ Cox, Gil Cisneros, and Harley Rouda of California, Reps. Debbie Mucarsel-Powell and Donna Shalala of Florida, Rep. Abby Finkenauer of Iowa, Rep. Xochitl Torres Small of New Mexico, Rep. Max Rose of New York, Rep. Kendra Horn of Oklahoma, Rep. Joe Cunningham of South Carolina, and Rep. Ben McAdams of Utah.

Rep. Collin Peterson, a long-serving Democratic representative in a Minnesota district that Trump won by 30 points, also lost reelection.

Some House Democrats who flipped Republican suburban and exurban seats in 2018 did win reelection, however, including Rep. Lucy McBath of Georgia, Rep. Katie Porter of California, Reps. Elaine Luria, Abigail Spanberger, and Jennifer Wexton of Virginia, and Rep. Mikie Sherrill of New Jersey.

Important Dates And Deadlines

The table below lists filing deadlines and primary dates in each state for Democratic Party and Republican Party candidates for congressional and state-level office.

Primary dates and filing deadlines, 2020 State Filing deadline for primary candidates Primary date 04/21/2020 & 05/08/2020 08/04/2020 04/24/2020 & 6/12/2020 05/05/2020 & 06/02/2020 09/01/2020 06/24/2020 07/10/2020

The embedded spreadsheet below details filing requirements for major-party and unaffiliated congressional candidates in 2020.

States That Gained Seats

The three most populous states to gain seats are Texas, Florida and North Carolina, and in each, Republicans will control the redistricting process. For the first time in decades, they wont have to seek preclearance from the Justice Department either before implementing their maps thanks to the 2013 Supreme Court decision that struck down part of the Voting Rights Act. That, in turn, could open the door for more extreme gerrymandering in these states, which historically disenfranchised voters of color.

For instance, Republicans will at least try to draw Texass two new districts to be as safe as possible for Republicans. But they also face the challenge that Texass suburbs its fastest-growing areas are rapidly becoming more Democratic, which threatened to blow up their 2011 gerrymander. According to Daily Kos Elections, Biden came within 3 percentage points of carrying 22 out of Texass current 36 districts in the 2020 election. So in an effort to shore up Republican incumbents in some areas, the Texas legislature may be forced to create safe new districts for Democrats in places like Austin, Dallas or Houston. But even if one or both of the new seats are blue, Texass map will still likely benefit Republicans overall , muddying the question of which party truly benefits from reapportionment here.

[blueraith]

Some folks still need to learn how to constructively comment

Wish I could say that I’ve been writing Chapter... 12(? Legit, I don’t often remember the chapter numbers outside of the Google doc) since posting Chapter 11 (we’re just gonna assume I know where the fuck I’m at in my own story, okay? Give me this).

But that would be a bald faced lie.

(Mostly because of my sister’s graduation and all the family visiting and the concurrent back injury I was suffering. Really kills the writing mood when you can’t sit up properly to type.)

This is going under a read more, because this incident Vexed Me To The Max(TM) and triggered a Rant of Epic Proportions(TM).

But graduation has been over, and my back has been feeling great. What really kept me a bit down since all that was over and done with is that very morning I’m feeling better, I see that I have two comments on the 100 fic I’ve put on indefinite hiatus. Yeah, it’s not an active story, but I still care about it, and I’ve been thinking about it recently. So, in short. I still care about it a hell of a lot. Hell, I care about everything that I write. I’ve written fanfiction at what’s nearing 10 years now, but nothing has erased the fact that putting yourself out there in the public eye takes a hell of a lot of effort and, sure, a smidgen of courage and confidence.

Well, this lovely commenter told me that my word count was way too high, that I was slowing my story down, and that they skipped to the last chapter (from Chapter 2, they skipped 6 chapters of ongoing character development, an ensemble cast, Ark politics, and canon fix-its) “40k words and [Clarke’s] still not on the ground yet??”

This is me paraphrasing both comments. I deleted them with extreme prejudice from the fic because I wasn’t leaving that kind of useless bullshit on my work after it effectively ruined my mood for, like, four days.

Why was it bullshit? Well, for one thing taking the average word count per chapter, it’s only a little over 5k words per chapter. Look. I balance out my word counts very carefully for each story that I write. This fic has a longer than average word count compared to my more recent stuff (which is around 4k per chapter) because of all the fuckin shit I was pulling off in this particular fic. Reworking canon to better explain why the Arkers were resistent to the radiation on the ground while having the superior blood that the Mountain Men wanted without putting them up in their shitty space station for thousand of years that evolution would have actually required them to have gone through to be remotely realistic.

Jake’s alive in this fic because I don’t like dead characters shaping character development on a pre-canon basis. Personally, I dislike orphan/parental loss storylines before the specific original work has even started. I get that orphans exist in real life. But YA media has a disproportionate amount of dead parents. Eh. I wanted to do something different. So, this means there’s an entire extra character in the story that I have to write and develop.

Diana Allers actually matters in day to day Ark life instead of just showing up and nearly murdering everyone because she’s a selfish bitch for little to no reason other than to make Abby’s already pretty damn full storyline even more packed than it already was. (Seriously, why didn’t they develop Allers more? She’s lazily implemented in canon, and I hate it. Lord only knows I enjoyed Abby and Raven’s plotlines far more in several places of Season 1 rather than Bellamy’s Manpain Adventures Lite Before He Turns Into A Complete And Utter Psychopath Later On In The Series).

Jaha is far more competent and slimey than he is in the show, rather than being a foolish man who is barely toddering along in the plot towards something useful.

Abby and Jake are at odds because Jake technically betrays Clarke and allows her to get arrested in the beginning of the story. They adopt Raven in the interim and they’re all awkwardly trying to free Clarke while pretending that Jake and Abby aren’t having marital problems. Well, Jake and Abby are pretending, Raven is as blunt as she usually is and just calls shit like she sees it.

Ensemble cast. There’s literally a tag on this story that tells you all that “This Story Is Literally About Everyone.”

So.

Yeah.

Clarke’s not on the fucking ground yet. But you wouldn’t know that, would you? Having skipped past 6 chapters.

Is 5k really that long? I wouldn’t know, personally when I read a longfic, I go into it knowing that the chapters might be long as fuck because I know that I’m reading a fic that could literally take me through several days and I read pretty damn fast. Not that 40k words is really all that much when you’re rewriting a TV show using all the characters who already exist in canon and then getting into their thoughts and motivations because that is literally what books do, this isn’t a screenplay, I wouldn’t be caught dead writing one because I despise them. Sorry, but you’re getting the full range of thoughts and emotions of everyone involved. I know, that’s just awful, getting hours and hours of content for free, but god forbid the plot doesn’t run on your timetable.

But that’s really the crux of this rant, isn’t it? NEVER complain about word counts, people. Too short? Who the fuck cares? The author could be just beginning their writing careers, so to speak. Word counts of any significance takes practice, first of all. So, not only could they might or might not have the required experience to write longer chapters, they may not even want to. And that’s fine. Because they do this FOR FREE.

Same thing with longer chapters. Are you really going to come at me, nearly a year after I’ve written and posted this work, complaining about word count, as though there’s even a remote chance that I’m going to go back and edit down all of that time and effort I put into that work to satisfy your fragile reading stamina?

Pfffffffffft.

I mean, this is funny to me in some regard because I’m over here wondering just what would be a good length for this person. Part of the reason my chapters tend to be at least 4k words long is because that’s generally where I can get a comfortable amount of character interaction, introspective thought, and plot moving forward. All three of those things matter to me when writing chapters. I hate reading too short works (and no, I don’t tell these authors this. I read what they give me and just deal with it because they’re entertaining me for free) and it’s little more than characters just trading dialogue with each other. I want to know what they are thinking about as well. I want a bit of narration. I’m reading something from a specific character’s point of view, and I want that chapter to ooze the personality of that character.

These are all the things I keep in mind when I write to my word count goals, personally. Doing it in less than 3k words might be possible, but it would sure as hell be annoying.

But most of all, it just irritated the fuck out of me. Like I’ve said multiple times in this rant. I do this for free. I don’t expect you guys to know this, but in order to get these substantial updates when I can manage to actually feel well enough to write and get them published, it takes me EIGHT TO TWELVE HOURS of sitting in front of a computer screen to have a chapter finished. On a good day. Yes. Most of the chapters I put out are done in one day, in one block, and I’m often up until 5 AM finishing something up. I have severe ADHD. Sometimes it is a chore to get shit put on a page because I can’t sit down and focus my thoughts enough to sound even coherent. Sometimes I have issues keeping up with what the beginning of a long sentence was about and I have to constantly keep up with what the fuck I’m even talking about in any given thought.

So, you have an author with a severe executive function disorder attempting to concentrate hard enough to get her own thoughts in character for each and every character that is featured in any given story while attempting to resist even the most mundane distractions while desperately hoping she’s going to hit a period of hyperfocus long enough to get substantial work down, but if that happens she’ll probably forget to eat because she’s on a writing binge that goes on with actual significant work for a period of several hours.

I love writing, despite the challenges I have to deal with in order just to get it done. I love most of the comments that I receive. I’m coming off a period of extreme depression from some family issues I was dealing with. My skin is rather thin at the moment and that irritated the fuck out of me, but those two comments knocked more wind out of my sails that I really wanted them to, and that bugs me even more.

But I am more experienced in fic writing than probably your average person. This commenter pissed me the fuck off, but I’ve moved past this, it’s hardly shattered my motivation to write forever.

But a careless commenter could easily do that to someone just getting into fanfiction. And it makes me wonder just how often this happens everyday, every hour, when entitled, spoiled people who think their needs are more important than the author doing this FOR FREE decide to voice their terrible opinions on their works. I love my readers, I don’t hold myself beholden to them, but they are extraordinarily important to me. Plot, pacing, and character development are all my own when I write because first and foremost, I write for myself. It’s a hobby that I clearly have to work very hard at to even be remotely successful at, and taking anyone else’s standards into account is never going to happen when I have to live up to my own already very high expectations. But I do keep y’all in mind when I’m devoting my time, energy, and effort in. The chapter lengths I have partly exist to make up for the wait times I inevitably have between each release. I very much know that I am sporadic and inconsistent when updating. So, when I do, I want to have something that isn’t just a whisper in the wind when it finally cycles to the top of the AO3 listing.

I know there are inevitably readers who didn’t like my content, or do think my stuff is too long. That’s fine. But don’t come into my space and give me two comments that were effectively “TL;DR” and expect that not to be a slap in the face. Because it is. I have wonder if the fandom kids today even know the kind of slap backs this sort of thing would have gotten in LiveJournal.

But, never mind that. I’m a big girl, I took some petty revenge in deleting that bullshit from my boards and then setting the fic to moderated mode, but what I would like anyone who decides to read through what is actually a long winded post (all my rants are, admittedly) to learn is that you are not reading professional work. You are not reading work that has been paid for. You are not reading work that has been professionally edited. I’m not saying that you can’t have standards for fic, lord knows I have many, but I don’t go into an author’s work and leave shitty comments. Never. Constructive criticism on fanfiction keeps the author’s time in mind, their skill level over what they’re actually capable of, and whether or not they’re even open to criticism. Some authors don’t even want your advice. They just want to know that you liked it. And if you don’t, just don’t say anything. I’m not quite that fragile personally, when someone is giving me useful criticism that can be used to actually improve my quality of writing, but I will freely admit that clearly I have a sore spot about comments addressing word counts.

Get out of here with that shit.

In short. If you can’t say something nice, don’t say anything at all.

[sol-luminosus]

Do you have any Rachad head canons? Care to share? :D

 Yep, lots of ‘em! Let me section it out (to also help me recall ‘em. Also, this might be pretty long please bear with me)

Cadet Years

1. Chad and Rachel have been acquainted with each other since childhood. However, they weren’t actually close then. At some point, they’ve worked together under the same squad as shown in Operation: M.A.U.R.I.C.E. (I’m supposing this is an entire class of cadets belonging in the same batch)

2. It was apparent from the start that Chad was a promising prodigy and stood out amongst the others. From then on he’d been officially assigned on Moonbase. Meanwhile, Rachel discovered her knack in espionage and trained as a spy under KND’s intel gathering unit. In my head cannon, this is KND’s Intelligence Department and HQ is stationed on Moonbase.

So, their only connection then would have to be: Classmates –> Same Sector

Global Command Years

1. Whoop whoop, fast forward to being full-fledged operatives. After Numbuh 100′s reign, Chad eventually found his way up in the ranks and secured the spot of Supreme Leader. He doesn’t really interact much with Rachel until later on at this time, where she herself had been successful in her career path and is considered as the top spy of her time. So much so, that there were moments where she’d directly report to the Supreme Leader himself.

2. Their personalities and regard towards each other was much different at first. I’ve always seen Rachel as not being a people person in her run as a full-time spy. She was quiet, and preferred to work alone. She’d accomplish her tasks dutifully and especially hated it when things didn’t go as planned. (Something I derived from F.U.G.I.T.I.V.E. when she had a rage episode at Fanny) However, her general disposition is reserved. The only one who seemed to get under her skin though, is Chad. 

Let’s just say she piqued his curiosity. (Tbh, I’ve always seen Chad as a curious person) It’s a Supreme Leader’s job to look out for his organization and the members within it but Rachel was specifically interesting for him. He’d make efforts to try and get close to her, but Rachel would often be rigid and preferred to keep things professional. But this doesn’t mean that his attempts at friendship annoyed her. In fact, she admired him and looked up to him like everyone else. It’s just how she really is with personal relationships. 

Before they both knew it, they hit it off really well and being close was a given to them and an unspoken acknowledgment with their peers. 

3. The first person to ever admit that they felt something more than friendship for the other was Rachel. Here we have 11 or 12 years old Rachy understanding for herself that she had a crush on the Supreme Leader and silently recognizing it. She doesn’t go over the episode of denial and just takes it in. (I doubt she’s one to do that tbh) But, it’s not something that she tells anyone and just kept it to herself.

4. In addition to item 3, the first person who does understand she has a thing for Chad is Abby. 

5. Rachel’s personality drastically develops during this period. Being with, and working alongside Chad has taught her a lot of things. Rachel may sometimes come off as scarily stern but she’d always been someone who cared a hefty lot for her comrades, one of her golden traits. I like to think that it was Chad that encouraged her to believe in her potential as a leader, and later on this inspired her to strive for the position of Supreme Leader after his defection. 

6. I don’t know if I’m the only one that’s noticed that Rachel often preferred to wear very muted colors with her either always seen wearing dark plums or blacks prior to being a Supreme Leader. (this could’ve been because she was under espionage however) Though, I’m fond of the thought of having Chad as the reason why she’d discarded the whole monochrome apparel and decided to go for bright and calming colors as a means to remember him by. (I’m thinking of writing out a fic for this head cannon btw ㅇ◡ㅇ)

7. Chad was the one that started calling her ‘Rach’. And since then, to Rachel, it’s become a very endearing way to call her.

Relationship Summary thus far:  Classmates –> Same Sector –> Acquaintances –> Friends –> Close Friends

Defection

1. For one thing, this isn’t something Chad wanted as an outcome for himself. Assuming the role of an undercover operative and being treated as the enemy of the entire organization he’s worked blood and sweat to hold up was distasteful to him. But the possibility of being accepted into g:KND was also an enticing thought. So he’d grabbed the opportunity anyway. But that didn’t mean it was something he wanted to disclose to Rachel. For one thing, it would hurt her. But if doing so meant continuing being part of the KND then the consequences of his actions was something that he’d been willing to face. At the very least, he could still watch over her and protect her albeit from a distance.

2. Chad’s lack of explanations for his actions had always been something that hurt Rachel, yet she maintained professionalism anyway each time he’d report to her on Moonbase as a double agent. She understood things just couldn’t and wouldn’t be the same between them, especially with the fact that from then on, he’d always give her the cold shoulder. It’s a thought that Chad’s teenage angst isn’t just a mere act to keep up the ‘typical teenager attitude’. For one thing, he’s got a lot of resentment in his system towards the reality of growing up, the g:KND itself, and Numbuh 1. That then contributes a lot to his personal relationships.

Even so, it confuses her more that he never fails to look after her, even saving her countless times from her own missions had he been coincidentally on duty either as a Teen Ninja or a TND operative. Sometimes, she was beginning to think that he’d deliberately be there just to make sure that she was safe. 

3. Basically, if it concerns Rachel’s safety, all forms of reason just instantly flies off and over his head and he rushes in right away just to make sure she wouldn’t get hurt. 

I’ve always thought that Chad was rather impulsive and having to do that was characteristic of him.

4. I also like to think that Chad and Maurice become pretty close as teens despite their seemingly conflicting personalities. And it wasn’t too hard for Maurice to figure out that Chad definitely had feelings for Rachel. Other than that, it wasn’t a surprise for him to understand that Chad hasn’t fully realized his own feelings for himself. (He can get really dense on the love aspect.)

5. Rachel may be accepting of her relationship rift with Chad, but his undercover missions that involve flirting with different girls and even going out with them at times for intel gathering incessantly gets on her nerves. It’s during these times that her temper is shorter and tends to spend excessive hours honing her battle skills. (and imagining she was hitting his face with her staff instead of the training dummy)

6. Chad’s own understanding and coming into terms with his feelings for Rachel is gradual. Whereas it was a simple understanding on Rachel’s case, that wasn’t so for him. 

Ok, actually this is going to overlap with my thoughts with him and Stacey although it’s part of the whole head cannon

So, where does Stacey come in? We do know that he’s depicted as being in a relationship with her. It’s a thought of mine that this is part of the image that he’s trying to keep up with. But while that’s the case, it doesn’t mean that that’s all she is to him. Underneath that jerk of a teen is still that boy that highly valued the people surrounding him, and she’s someone he deems as a friend and part of his new circle. However, he’s wondered for himself at times, why he just couldn’t see her in a different light despite Stacey being a nice girl and all with even a lot of admirers.

And more than once, he’s always found himself, looking forward on each of his trips to Moonbase so he could deliver his report to the Supreme Leader. It’s always something calming to him, and having just a glimpse of Rachel’s face immediately dispels the questions in his head. From here, he begins to understand.

This is also something that he looks back to later on in his older years, and without a doubt, would shake his head at with how silly he was that he just couldn’t get a clue. 

Relationship Summary thus far:  Classmates –> Same Sector –> Acquaintances –> Friends –> Close Friends –> It’s Complicated

g:KND Route

1. Chad doesn’t want her to know about it’s existence for the reason of wanting to keep her safe but well, that doesn’t exactly go as planned. We find Rachel’s status as a fugitive in this timeline. It’s a thought that her reason for vacating the position of Supreme Leader had nothing to do with age. Rather, it was during this time that she’d finally discovered the existence of the g:KND and the threat the organization posed. So when she went rouge, everything was pre-planned, and our runaway teen is furious and on the way to take matters into her own hands and to help stop the g:KND. Along with that, to rescue Chad and to actually give him a piece of her mind about the whole fiasco and secret keeping he’d been doing to her for years.

Relationship Summary thus far:  Classmates –> Same Sector –> Acquaintances –> Friends –> Close Friends –> It’s Complicated –> It’s Still Complicated

Alternate Timeline: TND

1. Let’s say the whole g:KND deal didn’t happen. After her time as a Kids Next Door operative, Rachel gets picked out as one of the teens to remain affiliated with the KND under the TND sub-organization. She still has a strained past with Chad after his ascension as an undercover agent (only difference then is him having no goals of joining the g:KND) and tries to avoid him at all costs. But encountering each other is an unavoidable aspect since the TND is much smaller as compared to the KND. 

2. He still has a habit of throwing all reason into the bin and looking after her to the extent of his capabilities. They often end up bickering due to this.

3. Much to Rachel’s discomfort, her family’s taken a liking to Chad. He didn’t have the best relationship with Harvey but eventually, learned to get along with each other. So, she’d often find him hanging around in her house and it irritates her to no end.

4. The reason for her irritation in item 3 is still linked with her confusion of him with his conflicting actions towards her. She’s not quite sure if he wants to rekindle their relationship or just plans to incessantly annoy her for some unknown reason.

5. For items 2 and 3, he has feelings for her, thus his actions. His 16 years old self still doesn’t understand this. Maurice often finds himself massaging his temples out of exasperation from him still not realizing after all the years that passed.

6. Chad’s parents have known Rachel as a child. At times even in their teen years, she’d wonder why they’d call her to check up on their son despite having a fallout with him in their adolescence. Nonetheless, she can’t seem to understand for herself why she’s happy they’d think of her when it comes to Chad.

7. Chad and Rachel have always belonged in different cliques, with Chad being with Maurice, Cree, and the other McClintock teens and Rachel with Patton and Fanny. Even then, their paths always seem to cross with Chad and Rachel often bickering that it becomes a habit for the 2 groups to encounter each other. At first, Fanny would glower at seeing Cree’s face, but Chad and Rachel’s banters become so routinal that the 2 girls would actually have the heart to exchange civil ‘heys’ and ‘hellos’ with each other, to Patton’s disbelieving horror.

8. It sets Chad off when a guy attempts to get cozy with Rachel especially when they have the nerve to refer to her as ‘Rach’. Nuh-uh, he’ll wreck havoc if he hears that.

Relationship Summary thus far:  Classmates –> Same Sector –> Acquaintances –> Friends –> Close Friends –> It’s Complicated –> They’re together, like why can’t they realize it?

Latter Years 

Overall, disregarding if we’re going with the g:KND or no g:KND timeline, I doubt that they’d really have it easy. Chad and Rachel’s relationship always seem to be stuck on that ‘it’s complicated’ category during their youth. They’re both very duty bound characters, whether the reason for it is riding on what people expect of them on the roles and responsibilities that they to fulfill or for the good of the majority of people. They’re each other’s soulmates, something which they may or may not understand later on. 

At some point, it’s a thought that their paths might even completely drift away from one another with each of them growing up and maturing with the other completely absent from their lives.

In this head cannon however, when they do find each other again, they make no more hesitations. And although they’ve been through a lot, people aren’t surprised that they still ended up winding up together. 

And their little blonde spitfire that’s the spitting image of Chad with Rachel’s indomitable spirit in him is a proof of this. ´･ᴗ･`

Phew, that was lengthy. I know I was only asked to share my head cannons but I swear, these were specifically categorized in my head from which timeline they came from. 

These head cannons may also vary because at times for my fics, I’d also include head cannons exclusively reserved for whichever universe the story is set in.

Thank you for asking this! I really enjoyed answering this ask! (◑‿◐)

Also, here’s a little sketchy Rachad / 274/362 art I did some time ago when I was practicing my former art style (very manga / manhwa style inspired I know) prior to how I usually draw in now.