can you imagine telling me 'bonten tl harutaku, pretty boyfriends, that's all" and then not immediately saying more? Like, thanks for setting the autism rabbit hole 😔
Well, in my defense I assumed there was not much to say about Bonten HaruTaku for two reasons:
When could they interact if Takuya is having a good future?
Sanzu "has" Mikey there. Big stretch bc Mikey is an empty shell of himself, but yeah, being his right hand is difficult to imagine him not totally focused on Mikey (is his special interest and we all know it✨). Even more with interacting with anyone outside Bonten. He has to keep the depressed twink alive + a whole organization running like it had a functional boss (okay, Koko helps a lot with anything money related, but violence? That's Haru's deal and I'm pretty sure that as much unhinged as he can be, he works himself for 3 people minimum. Is for Mikey, so no more questions your honor 😌)
BUT!
It has been brought to my attention by @fredlikesbreakfast that we don't see Takuya in Pah-chin's wedding or at any point of the "good future" interactions on Toman's side.
(Also, I'm gonna be using his headcanons about Takuya, bc I'm not a Takuya expert and I trust his wisdom on this. Go read them, everyone!)
And.... This.
Just watch this and how I'm about to build sandcastles over fucking nothing, okay?
(Did I wanted an excuse to show choker Takuya in full color? Yeah, sue me xD)
And then, we get Bonten introduced with some random traitors meeting their "fate"...
(Wakui and his realisim, I just noticed the puddle, argh)
(yeah, Haru is talking alone in here, saying nonsense, right? Is he? Is he talking to that random or to the one next to him? 👀)
ARE YOU ALL SEEING IT? WHO THAT RANDOM BLONDE COULD BE?
Okay, first of all, before talking about harutaku I need to put some context in bonten harumai situation, so bear with me, please! (Haru never got to be his own person, this tl is when he's more of a lost cause and erased himself for Mikey more than ever, so... For understanding Haru, we need to look at his (not) relationship with Mikey 😮💨)
Canon facts? Wakui told us that Mikey barely tolerates anyone at this point and he can only stand Sanzu 🔥 Oh, and has no libido whatsoever (not surprising, anorexic depressed twink much)
That means their codependency is canon, hell yeah!
But, and that's a big one... Mikey is terrified of love bc that would mean having someone to grieve and he can't go there. Besides, he's trying to build a good future for everyone else, so if he admits having feelings for Sanzu... Where would that leave him? Having to push him away for his own good too? (Like Haru wouldn't stay no matter what but shhh, Mikey is depressed and biased)
So yeah, Mikey needs Sanzu, but at the same time, he can't get too close to him. What leads to a pretty fucked up situation where Haru is forced again and again to have to guess Mikey's moods and whims and to never known if he's gonna be welcomed or not.
(Besides the "small" detail of Haru scars being a reminder of Mikey's darkness and what he could do, so... Yeah, complicated)
My personal hc is that they used to be a thing✨ during Kanto Manji times. Until Haru made the mistake of dropping the word love, what turned out into Mikey stopping it all together. One thing is to lie to himself that this is just casual sex, but love? Yeah, no, that can't be.
Why is all of this important? Because it means we have a Haruchiyo who got to be with Mikey for some months and then lose it. An openly rejected Haruchiyo who still stays glued by Mikey's side (Mikey stopped the sex, but still needed him) and who is the only one Mikey tolerates. Are you seeing it? He is at his most delulu and unrequited version of his obsession love for Mikey. 🙃
The setting is twisted and messed up from the start, even before Takuya appears in here 😭
THEY ARE GONNA BE DOOMED FROM THE START!
(Well, no surprises considering how it ends I guess xD)
Okay, we have a Takuya that is trying to find his own path in live. Or at least, to separate himself from Takemichi and be his own persona. What is the opposite of the old Toman goodies who are trying to build a normal and happy life? Get involved with gangs again, ofc! 🔥
For some reason I think he got involved when it was still Kanto Manji. Probably bc it feels more reachable than Bonten? But also, if we go with the hcs of last teen years starting with weed and mixing stuff? He had to buy it somewhere and teen gangs feels like a good choice. Koko was there too, they didn't share much time on the 1st division, but is also someone he knows (and who unlike Kakucho who joins later, is in that gang from the start)
So Takuya starts dealing with drugs. You need money to maintain addictions, it is what it is. Small dealing that gets more serious as he grows up. His ability to be an npc seems pretty useful to deal with drugs on the street, ngl. So he ends up getting promoted due to the fact that his numbers are good (Koko here looking for people who is good at making money). Not a big promotion, he's not a higher up. But he's not a nobody either anymore.
That's Sanzu's cue to enter. He is a paranoid gremlin, we all know that. No way he won't stalk suspect on Takuya, when he's aware he was one of Takemichi's friends – who Sanzu hates and calls stinky (jealous much 🙄).
I think this will be around Bonten creation, first couple of years? What also means Senju just died, ugh. More unstable Sanzu, yey! (but also, in more need for comfort and he can't find it on his king, so that also adds to the mix)
Sanzu discovers Takuya is actually on his own and doesn't have much contact with the Mizo gang – less and less everyday – no more than someone could have with ex-classmates. What yeah, saves Takuya's ass (for now), but makes him curious. Why did Takuya part ways with the others? What is about this guy and why is he different that Sanzu assumed he will be? How did he managed to separate himself from who used to be the center of his life? (that last question is one Haru would never admit even to himself bc it feels like a betrayal, but is there. Unconsciously floating on his brain, no doubt)
Pretty sure, again, Haru is the one approaching to Takuya (for not work related purposes, they might have interact before). Junkie radar also works here, but well, is more obvious on both sides, so no need for any radar I guess? 🤣
Differences that I clearly see in their relationship here?
Sanzu is his boss, that for starter. The power dynamics are more unbalanced than ever bc here, Haru is the second in command and pretty confident about it (he has reasons to be, let's be real, Bonten would crumble without him or Koko)
What means that vulnerability he showed sometimes in Bad Toman? That morning after care? Takuya being able to see some cracks on his walls? Forget about it. Not happening. He has to be the perfect right hand (for Mikey), so he can't show weakness to an underling. He can't stop and acknowledge his exhaustion or feelings either, has to keep going.
He's high all the damn time, but also miraculously functioning more. So not as easy to have a situation where he calls Takuya in a moment of weakness.
Unsafe rough sex, so many dubious situations plus more marked bdsm dynamics.
Also, this one can sound weird, but at the same time, Haru is gonna be more demanding of affection. Had a terrible meeting or didn't sleep in 48h bc work? "Takuya, come here and pet my hair, I need to be pampered." Clingy as usual but more openly? Probably even more needy and craving of love now that I think about it �� Bc he spends his days by Mikey's side, feeling the constant rejection.
As long as the years keep passing tho, I think Haru starts crumbling. Slowly and just showing lil pieces, but... Have you seeing Bonten Mikey? He looks too much like tl0 Mikey. NO WAY HARU IS NOT GRADUALLY GETTING TRIGGERED WATCHING THE SIMILARITIES GROWING MORE EVERY DAY! *insert screaming cat in here please*
Takuya sees that. He sees that Haru is more burned out every day, but also, that he comes back from his time with Mikey worse and worse every day. More irascible and grumpy, easier to jump and go violent. But also more clingy and a total emotional mess. Nightmares every night? No doubt either. (or at least when he sleeps, ugh)
Where I'm going with this? Welp... We need Takuya getting killed, right? And why? Why did he end up like that? As much as he can be dumb with his friendships, I think Takuya is smart enough to not try to betray Bonten. Especially if he has 💫something💫 with Sanzu. It's a suicide and a way to kill their relationship all at once. Feels odd.
But what if what Takuya did was something different? What if out of worry he started to point out to Haru that he was looking more drained every day? That he should rest from time to time. Small things here and there, that depending on Haru's mood would make him feel touched (someone sees him enough to notice this, someone cares) or annoyed (he can't admit it, he can't stop, remember?)
And Takuya starts feeling a lil confident with saying those things. Bc Sanzu also got softer with the years, more caring in a weird crazy way (he learns to appreciate the only place where he feels seen).
I also have no doubt Takuya has been biting his tongue for years about the fact that Haru runs when Mikey calls or text him. No matter the hour or what he was doing. Literally. Mid sex? Yeah, "sorry Takuya, my king needs me, see you!" (terrible xD)
Maybe one day Sanzu arrives at Takuya more exhausted than usual. He didn't sleep in 3 days, he just want to be hugged and pampered, to not be alone with his own demons. Is painfully obvious that he's so broken, that Takuya feels protective. And oh, Mikey calls Sanzu when he finally fell asleep? And he just answers and says he'll be there in a few minutes? 💀
Takuya explodes. I have a vision of Haru getting dressed and clenching his jaw bc he doesn't have the time to deal with this bullshit, hissing a "careful" as an only warning. While Takuya is saying that this is not normal, that Haru is killing himself for Mikey, for someone who doesn't even appreciate him (will he go as far to say that doesn't deserve it? Unsure, but that is a nice touch, ngl).
That's it. That settles it for Sanzu. Takuya must die, he showed he's not really loyal to Mikey (and what's worse, but Haru won't admit, he told him so truths and put a mirror in front of him)
I can even go further and say the way Sanzu chooses to kill him is totally on purpose. He can't make it personal, can't he? Admit to himself that again, he wanted something of his own? That he craved love and willingly accepted it from someone else that wasn't Mikey? No way, he had that once (Mucho, you'll always hurt 🥲). This time, he kills Takuya with a gun, not katana-chan. And with two other randoms. Because this is not personal, this is business (yeah, keep lying to yourself, Haru)
And the words he says? "Bring down Bonten's hammer of judgment"? Considering Mikey almost never talks and when he does is to Haru.... Yeah, Haru babu, you're Bonten judge and executor. You're the one translating Mikey's will to the rest (what explains why Bonten is so freaking unhinged btw xD).
He is the one judging Takuya. Period.
Also, that "shhh" moment? Pointing out to the three tied people that they should listen to the king, that what Mikey says is law? That feels like a last message to Takuya now.
So, ummmm.... Remember when I said I was about to build a huge harutaku headcanon from nothing? Yeah? Here it was, I hope someone read it until the end and enjoy it xD
(I might add some things later, who knows. But I'm also totally open to others adding to it, let's keep building harutaku together, yey! 💜)
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As much as I love playing embrace Dark Urge runs (discussion in therapy pending), there's something so narratively satisfying about how a Resist Durge playthrough can go once you get to the Bhaal Temple. Your character steps into the ring with Orin, it's intended to be a duel, but odds are you're getting eviscerated pretty quickly. You then switch to one of your other characters in your party and throw an attack, effectively breaking the duel and setting the whole temple upon you.
(Adding a cut because this ended up being longer than I thought)
But, I think it's a very satisfying way to play. Your party members have grown fond of your Durge, seeing them as a friend, a family member, even a lover. They've watched you and your pain over your Urge and what it makes you do or want to do. Maybe you've slipped up once or twice, but you've been trying so hard to be the hero they know you can be, that Faerûn needs. So, when it comes time to finally face your demons and you're getting so horribly hurt in the process, they can't help but rush to your defense. It'll put all of them in danger, but it doesn't matter because they want and need to help you, their ally and companion.
Bonus points if you select your character's romanced companion as the savior/duel interruptor to make it extra delicious. They've fallen in love with you, stayed with you when your Urge craved their blood the most, maybe by this point in the game you've helped put their demons down as well. They see you in pain, a final valiant effort to overcome your Urge against the power of Orin, a whole cult, a god of murder himself. They want to protect you, save you as you saved them.
I'm also fond of the extra beauty of Astarion being your Resist Durge romance since it puts the two of you in very similar situations. Fighting against the will of your masters, finally defeating your demons with your newfound companions' help and being offered the greatest power you could ever fathom... only to deny it, ignore power in favor of your party and your love.
This isn't even mentioning just how goddamn good the Withers resurrecting you cutscene is. This skeleton in your camp with unknown and unfathomable power (also apparently supposed to be Jergal himself if I've done my research properly?) is able to bring you back to life, free of your Urge. The line along the lines of "Bhaal could only destroy what of you that he knew, but because you've grown past your Urge and become your own person, he couldn't destroy that new growth" is just so weirdly powerful narratively. Tav may be a default character for you to create upon making a new save file, but Durge is the canon protagonist and I think that entire scene shows it the best. It's a beautiful secondary climax of the narrative (primary being battling the Netherbrain of course).
And, perhaps it's just an oversight on Larian's part or something that'd be a bit difficult to work into the cutscenes mechanically, but I think that it could only get more impactful if your companions could comfort each other during these moments. Everyone and their mother wishes you could hug Astarion after he kills Cazador, but also imagine your romanced companion cradling your body after Bhaal kills you. It seems just a little odd that they all (meaning your party) kinda just stand around staring at your corpse, especially with how close y'all have gotten.
Idk, I have a lot of thoughts about this section of the game in this particular type of playthrough and some of them are hard to articulate into words. It's just such a damn good narrative peak and can really make you feel things.
I've completed I think two resist Durge runs and just hit this point on my third and it really stuck out to me this time (then again my new antidepressants are kinda fucking with me so that might be playing a role). I left it as my last mission before dealing with the Netherbrain and I think it helped build the anticipation of that moment. Everyone else has been helped by you, and now it's your turn to come into your own. I really felt so connected to my character walking into the temple, feeling like everything has been building to this, that regardless of what happens our suffering will finally end. And you have your party there to help you in your time of greatest need as you've done for them.
There's a reason this game was Game of the Year, the narrative is just so powerful and the replay-ability is just insane. I've beaten this game ten times, heading for my eleventh and it truly just never gets old and never fails to make me feel so many things so strongly.
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❝Did you never know, long ago, how much you loved me—
Doomed by the Narrative
(incorrect Link Click), mild canon divergence
─┉┈◈◉◈┈┉ ─┉┈◈◉◈┈┉ ─┉┈◈◉◈┈┉
╰┈➤ ❝
Theirs is a case that's happened many times in the past. They aren't special. Even if it often feels like it, the truth is that the gods were too occupied with merrymaking to pay any attention to the board when they rolled the dice and moved the pieces. No matter how much pain it caused them--so much they could've sworn no other human had bled the way they did--the truth of the matter is that it's just another blip on the radar. Nothing groundbreaking. Just a moment within a second that would soon be forgotten when the clock's hand completed a full turn into a minute--into an hour, a day...
He knew this. He was no fool.
The first time Cheng Xiaoshi died before his eyes, the world didn't stop. It kept turning, uncaring, as if his world didn't end right then and there.
The second time it happened, nothing changed, only the circumstances of his death.
But people say that the third time's the charm because there's always something about the number three that is quite fascinating. The Law of Thirds, it's called. A single day, for instance, is divided into three parts. If one part goes missing, tomorrow cannot come nor can you return to yesterday. Their little tight-knit friend group which was almost like his blood family was also made up of three people--Cheng Xiaoshi, Qiao Ling, and him--Lu Guang. And then this--an answer to his grief after going back in time twice.
Thrice now.
When Lu Guang made his dive for the third time, the stars seemed to shift. He didn't know what it was. A glitch in the matrix? A coincidence? Or was it the gods toying with their red strings again? Lu Guang couldn't say for sure but for some unknown reason, Cheng Xiaoshi deviated from the script they had followed since. The safe part, not yet the climax of the tragedy.
They had walked this path before and in all those timelines, they had both come out unscathed. The grand confrontation would come later, approximately five months from now. This should still be part of their grace period. But. But Cheng Xiaoshi, stubborn, smart, and frustratingly kind Cheng Xiaoshi, had decided to throw that away to save one woman's life.
One single text message. That was all it took to alter this time's future. And once again, Lu Guang found himself grasping at airs.
Lost. Anxious. Confused. He stood on his toes, always on high alert, attentive as ever in case something jumped out from the shadows and threatened the peace they'd built.
But it would all soon come to pass when Lu Guang finally gleamed at a semblance of clarity. The neverending whys and what's, all answered with a single thrust of a sharp blade into his gut. Eyes wide in disbelief as he looked at Qiao Ling--their sweet Qiao Ling, ever so sassy, courageous, and kind--wearing a sinister smile that didn't belong in her angelic face.
As he fell on the couch, hot blood pouring from his wounds as Qiao Ling made sure he wouldn't stand again, a light flicked on in his mind. A hypothesis. One he didn't consider before because he was too damn selfish, too caught up on his idea of happiness that he didn't consider this. That maybe, just maybe, the thing he needed to fix was himself all along. He was the hamartia. The disease. And in order for Cheng Xiaoshi to live, he had to terminate his very own existence.
Such a simple answer. He should've just done it a long time ago. He could've saved Xiaoshi all the grief from reliving other people's pain.
How ridiculous.
He wanted to laugh but his vision was already blurring. And as darkness began to devour him, beyond it, he heard his Xiaoshi scream.
Please, gods... He prayed for the first time in a long while, Please, let me be right. Make of me as you see fit, but please let him live.
The next time he opens his eyes, he'd be fourteen again.
Someone just called him.
When he turns his head, he sees the kid he met at the basketball court a week prior.
There's a huge smile plastered on his face and then there it is again, this irritating feeling under his skin. Itchy. Scalding. Begging for him to notice. This familiarity that seems to draw him in toward the boy. As if he had known him before. That bright smile and the subtle sadness in his eyes. It fees like something he should know, like a forgotten memory.
He said his name is Cheng... Cheng Xiaoshi? That was how he had introduced himself to him, all sweaty and smiles after a rather energetic round of basketball.
Cheng Xiaoshi waves him over and Lu Guang immediately heeds as if it is the most natural thing in the world.
And at that moment, the stars shifted once more.
As he watches Lu Guang close the distance between them, Cheng Xiaoshi is hit with the urge to take him into a tight embrace and keep him there for as long as time allowed.
But he couldn't. He shouldn't. This Guang Guang doesn't know him yet. All the words he has been wanting to say, he's kept close to his heart, waiting for the right moment to pour them out once and for all.
Two lifetimes already. He has wasted two. And in both lives, he had lost Lu Guang too.
But this time--This time, he promised himself as he stares at his reflection in those beautiful gray eyes he thought he'd never see again, this time, let me be the one to save you.
Even if it costs me my life...
And it will. They will never know this, they will keep trying to pull each other from the quicksand of death, but their fates have been written long ago. The gods have willed it. No matter the time or the universe, one of them is always going to be a star and the other--destined to only gaze at them from afar. ❞
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