#harutaku

[chaoticdelinqueerwithglitter]

can you imagine telling me 'bonten tl harutaku, pretty boyfriends, that's all" and then not immediately saying more? Like, thanks for setting the autism rabbit hole 😔

Well, in my defense I assumed there was not much to say about Bonten HaruTaku for two reasons:

When could they interact if Takuya is having a good future?

Sanzu "has" Mikey there. Big stretch bc Mikey is an empty shell of himself, but yeah, being his right hand is difficult to imagine him not totally focused on Mikey (is his special interest and we all know it✨). Even more with interacting with anyone outside Bonten. He has to keep the depressed twink alive + a whole organization running like it had a functional boss (okay, Koko helps a lot with anything money related, but violence? That's Haru's deal and I'm pretty sure that as much unhinged as he can be, he works himself for 3 people minimum. Is for Mikey, so no more questions your honor 😌)

BUT!

It has been brought to my attention by @fredlikesbreakfast that we don't see Takuya in Pah-chin's wedding or at any point of the "good future" interactions on Toman's side.

(Also, I'm gonna be using his headcanons about Takuya, bc I'm not a Takuya expert and I trust his wisdom on this. Go read them, everyone!)

And.... This.

Just watch this and how I'm about to build sandcastles over fucking nothing, okay?

(Did I wanted an excuse to show choker Takuya in full color? Yeah, sue me xD)

And then, we get Bonten introduced with some random traitors meeting their "fate"...

(Wakui and his realisim, I just noticed the puddle, argh)

(yeah, Haru is talking alone in here, saying nonsense, right? Is he? Is he talking to that random or to the one next to him? 👀)

ARE YOU ALL SEEING IT? WHO THAT RANDOM BLONDE COULD BE?

Okay, first of all, before talking about harutaku I need to put some context in bonten harumai situation, so bear with me, please! (Haru never got to be his own person, this tl is when he's more of a lost cause and erased himself for Mikey more than ever, so... For understanding Haru, we need to look at his (not) relationship with Mikey 😮‍💨)

Canon facts? Wakui told us that Mikey barely tolerates anyone at this point and he can only stand Sanzu 🔥 Oh, and has no libido whatsoever (not surprising, anorexic depressed twink much)

That means their codependency is canon, hell yeah!

But, and that's a big one... Mikey is terrified of love bc that would mean having someone to grieve and he can't go there. Besides, he's trying to build a good future for everyone else, so if he admits having feelings for Sanzu... Where would that leave him? Having to push him away for his own good too? (Like Haru wouldn't stay no matter what but shhh, Mikey is depressed and biased)

So yeah, Mikey needs Sanzu, but at the same time, he can't get too close to him. What leads to a pretty fucked up situation where Haru is forced again and again to have to guess Mikey's moods and whims and to never known if he's gonna be welcomed or not.

(Besides the "small" detail of Haru scars being a reminder of Mikey's darkness and what he could do, so... Yeah, complicated)

My personal hc is that they used to be a thing✨ during Kanto Manji times. Until Haru made the mistake of dropping the word love, what turned out into Mikey stopping it all together. One thing is to lie to himself that this is just casual sex, but love? Yeah, no, that can't be.

Why is all of this important? Because it means we have a Haruchiyo who got to be with Mikey for some months and then lose it. An openly rejected Haruchiyo who still stays glued by Mikey's side (Mikey stopped the sex, but still needed him) and who is the only one Mikey tolerates. Are you seeing it? He is at his most delulu and unrequited version of his obsession love for Mikey. 🙃

The setting is twisted and messed up from the start, even before Takuya appears in here 😭

THEY ARE GONNA BE DOOMED FROM THE START!

(Well, no surprises considering how it ends I guess xD)

Okay, we have a Takuya that is trying to find his own path in live. Or at least, to separate himself from Takemichi and be his own persona. What is the opposite of the old Toman goodies who are trying to build a normal and happy life? Get involved with gangs again, ofc! 🔥

For some reason I think he got involved when it was still Kanto Manji. Probably bc it feels more reachable than Bonten? But also, if we go with the hcs of last teen years starting with weed and mixing stuff? He had to buy it somewhere and teen gangs feels like a good choice. Koko was there too, they didn't share much time on the 1st division, but is also someone he knows (and who unlike Kakucho who joins later, is in that gang from the start)

So Takuya starts dealing with drugs. You need money to maintain addictions, it is what it is. Small dealing that gets more serious as he grows up. His ability to be an npc seems pretty useful to deal with drugs on the street, ngl. So he ends up getting promoted due to the fact that his numbers are good (Koko here looking for people who is good at making money). Not a big promotion, he's not a higher up. But he's not a nobody either anymore.

That's Sanzu's cue to enter. He is a paranoid gremlin, we all know that. No way he won't stalk suspect on Takuya, when he's aware he was one of Takemichi's friends – who Sanzu hates and calls stinky (jealous much 🙄).

I think this will be around Bonten creation, first couple of years? What also means Senju just died, ugh. More unstable Sanzu, yey! (but also, in more need for comfort and he can't find it on his king, so that also adds to the mix)

Sanzu discovers Takuya is actually on his own and doesn't have much contact with the Mizo gang – less and less everyday – no more than someone could have with ex-classmates. What yeah, saves Takuya's ass (for now), but makes him curious. Why did Takuya part ways with the others? What is about this guy and why is he different that Sanzu assumed he will be? How did he managed to separate himself from who used to be the center of his life? (that last question is one Haru would never admit even to himself bc it feels like a betrayal, but is there. Unconsciously floating on his brain, no doubt)

Pretty sure, again, Haru is the one approaching to Takuya (for not work related purposes, they might have interact before). Junkie radar also works here, but well, is more obvious on both sides, so no need for any radar I guess? 🤣

Differences that I clearly see in their relationship here?

Sanzu is his boss, that for starter. The power dynamics are more unbalanced than ever bc here, Haru is the second in command and pretty confident about it (he has reasons to be, let's be real, Bonten would crumble without him or Koko)

What means that vulnerability he showed sometimes in Bad Toman? That morning after care? Takuya being able to see some cracks on his walls? Forget about it. Not happening. He has to be the perfect right hand (for Mikey), so he can't show weakness to an underling. He can't stop and acknowledge his exhaustion or feelings either, has to keep going.

He's high all the damn time, but also miraculously functioning more. So not as easy to have a situation where he calls Takuya in a moment of weakness.

Unsafe rough sex, so many dubious situations plus more marked bdsm dynamics.

Also, this one can sound weird, but at the same time, Haru is gonna be more demanding of affection. Had a terrible meeting or didn't sleep in 48h bc work? "Takuya, come here and pet my hair, I need to be pampered." Clingy as usual but more openly? Probably even more needy and craving of love now that I think about it 🤔 Bc he spends his days by Mikey's side, feeling the constant rejection.

As long as the years keep passing tho, I think Haru starts crumbling. Slowly and just showing lil pieces, but... Have you seeing Bonten Mikey? He looks too much like tl0 Mikey. NO WAY HARU IS NOT GRADUALLY GETTING TRIGGERED WATCHING THE SIMILARITIES GROWING MORE EVERY DAY! *insert screaming cat in here please*

Takuya sees that. He sees that Haru is more burned out every day, but also, that he comes back from his time with Mikey worse and worse every day. More irascible and grumpy, easier to jump and go violent. But also more clingy and a total emotional mess. Nightmares every night? No doubt either. (or at least when he sleeps, ugh)

Where I'm going with this? Welp... We need Takuya getting killed, right? And why? Why did he end up like that? As much as he can be dumb with his friendships, I think Takuya is smart enough to not try to betray Bonten. Especially if he has 💫something💫 with Sanzu. It's a suicide and a way to kill their relationship all at once. Feels odd.

But what if what Takuya did was something different? What if out of worry he started to point out to Haru that he was looking more drained every day? That he should rest from time to time. Small things here and there, that depending on Haru's mood would make him feel touched (someone sees him enough to notice this, someone cares) or annoyed (he can't admit it, he can't stop, remember?)

And Takuya starts feeling a lil confident with saying those things. Bc Sanzu also got softer with the years, more caring in a weird crazy way (he learns to appreciate the only place where he feels seen).

I also have no doubt Takuya has been biting his tongue for years about the fact that Haru runs when Mikey calls or text him. No matter the hour or what he was doing. Literally. Mid sex? Yeah, "sorry Takuya, my king needs me, see you!" (terrible xD)

Maybe one day Sanzu arrives at Takuya more exhausted than usual. He didn't sleep in 3 days, he just want to be hugged and pampered, to not be alone with his own demons. Is painfully obvious that he's so broken, that Takuya feels protective. And oh, Mikey calls Sanzu when he finally fell asleep? And he just answers and says he'll be there in a few minutes? 💀

Takuya explodes. I have a vision of Haru getting dressed and clenching his jaw bc he doesn't have the time to deal with this bullshit, hissing a "careful" as an only warning. While Takuya is saying that this is not normal, that Haru is killing himself for Mikey, for someone who doesn't even appreciate him (will he go as far to say that doesn't deserve it? Unsure, but that is a nice touch, ngl).

That's it. That settles it for Sanzu. Takuya must die, he showed he's not really loyal to Mikey (and what's worse, but Haru won't admit, he told him so truths and put a mirror in front of him)

I can even go further and say the way Sanzu chooses to kill him is totally on purpose. He can't make it personal, can't he? Admit to himself that again, he wanted something of his own? That he craved love and willingly accepted it from someone else that wasn't Mikey? No way, he had that once (Mucho, you'll always hurt 🥲). This time, he kills Takuya with a gun, not katana-chan. And with two other randoms. Because this is not personal, this is business (yeah, keep lying to yourself, Haru)

And the words he says? "Bring down Bonten's hammer of judgment"? Considering Mikey almost never talks and when he does is to Haru.... Yeah, Haru babu, you're Bonten judge and executor. You're the one translating Mikey's will to the rest (what explains why Bonten is so freaking unhinged btw xD).

He is the one judging Takuya. Period.

Also, that "shhh" moment? Pointing out to the three tied people that they should listen to the king, that what Mikey says is law? That feels like a last message to Takuya now.

So, ummmm.... Remember when I said I was about to build a huge harutaku headcanon from nothing? Yeah? Here it was, I hope someone read it until the end and enjoy it xD

(I might add some things later, who knows. But I'm also totally open to others adding to it, let's keep building harutaku together, yey! 💜)

[fredlikesbreakfast]

thinking (again) about @chaoticdelinqueerwithglitter 's harutaku headcanons. oog.

[textsofthemekadan]

Sorry! Just making sure since the description says nothing involving the children. I'm glad we both love harutaku! (is that the ship name??)

The children are Hibiya/Hiyori (who are 12). Haruka and Takane are both 19, so they aren't children and definitely not young children, and seeing as they're the same age it doesn't really matter anyway. I think Harutaka is very cute!!! I love my kids

[makinomariasama]

Blog Post Translation: July 5th, 2020

Enjoy, and please don’t repost without credit!

* TV Asahi (Kanto Region) * July 5th, 2020 at 1:55pm~ "Super Baseball"

And

* ABEMA * July 5th, 2020 at 1:55pm~ "Baseball Time [TV Asahi Linked Project] Remote Cheering LIVE Nippon Ham vs Softbank"

[Appearing]

Timondi Maeda Yuuta-san <3 Takagishi Hiroyuki-san

Morning Musume '20 Makino Maria

Truly, thank you veyr much <3

When I was going to work... * Polly-chan :) Frep * Their Insta Live started :) At 11am~

Polly-chan Polly-chan's dancing was cute <3 <3 She's very good ♪

Frep He drew Jay-kun Frep * His drawing is good

* @frep_the_fox *

When I arrived at the studio...

Go-kun <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 I heard his voice in the huddle

The temperature is 24C

Nakashima Takuya, batting second * The HaruTaku combination

Taishi at number 6 reminds me of Laird at number 6

* ABEMA * "Baseball Time [TV Asahi Linked Project] Remote Cheering LIVE Nippon Ham vs Softbank"

Broadcast start *

I was nervous.

The ABMEA water bottle on the right side of the desk was cute <3 Thank you very much for preparing cold water

When Maria was small, I took a photo with Ukumori I showed it to Maeda-san and Takagishi-san

ABEMA has a really detailed teleprompter, and Maria was really interested in the small details on it :) <3

A lot of comments reached us. Thank you very much <3 Maria was really happy ♪ I'm sorry that I wasn't able to read the comments well.

Maeda-san * Takagishi-san Maria was really happy when you talked with me, when you listened to my stories, and when you properly looked me in the eye ♪ There was social distancing, and we stayed apart but I noticed that we made eye contact :) Thank you very much *

Since Maeda-san and Takagishi-san love baseball, it was really conveyed. We couldn't stop talking :) About baseball. It was really fun to listen to their stories

Makino Maria's points to reflect on

MarInsta * Look at Makino Maria's Instagram, okay

Mental focus tattered until the end * Sorry

Baseball Time is the best!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! You can do it if you try!!!!

Truly, thank you very much <3 From Morning Musume 20's Makino Maria

And

* ABEMA * "Baseball Time [TV Asahi Linked Project] Remote Cheering LIVE Nippon Ham vs Softbank"

You can watch it for the next 6 days <3 Please definitely watch it

Hero Interview ♪ Jay-kun

The players and the fans are also a team!! We're one team!! Hooray * x3

LOVE Fighters LOVE <3 Nakata From Maria

* Makino Maria *

[tanyadesu]

im trying so hard to find that damn vacation video with Haruma and Takeru in New York.

omg

and it needs to be subbed!

why am i not fluent in japanese yet!? orz

well.. i'll look more tomorrow after school

gonna go to bed now.

G'NITE~

[chaoticdelinqueerwithglitter]

Chokehold

(Sanzu/Takuya in bad Toman Takemichi timeline)

(drabble)

(link to ao3 in case some one preferes to read it there)

This song goes perfect with it:

Warnings: The Dove Isn't Dead But Is Not Looking Great. Dubious Consent. Substance Abuse. Angst. No smut at all, just angst.

(Mikey's existence haunting the narrative, also called background unrequited HaruMai. The cursed name joke is totally pun intended, if you know you know)

Notes: Well... This is a total surprise. I saw a fanart of Sanzu wearing red high-heels next to glow-up Takuya and my brain got possesed. So like always with rareships, I was suddenly starving and had to create something about them.

Also, I know @lucifugousart will provide us with some art of them sooner or later, the images are now hunting your brain. 😌

(English is not my first language, so be nice please 🙈)

Takuya wakes up feeling like shit. The sun is burning his eyes, too bright for his hangover brain, to not feel his head hurting with it. His mouth feels dry and his throat scratches when he tries to swallow. To be honest, there isn't a part of his body that isn't aching right now, but his neck and his mind are the worst of it.

He doesn't remember too much, but the flashbacks try to flood his mind. A maniacal laughter, stabbing pain on his thighs.

He looks at the man sleeping next to him, pink strands scattered on the pillow. Is not the first time this happens, but Haruchiyo is still a mystery for the blonde. No, Sanzu. Takuya has to correct himself, something that is starting to become an habit lately. Is difficult to not get attached, to remember how dangerous this man is. Even for Toman's standards.

Blood. Red high-heels pressing his neck. A poisoning tongue licking every mark, hands playing with his choker. Ripping it off with hungry eyes.

Sanzu's job inside the organization is unclear for anyone who isn't a high ranked member. The only thing everyone knows, whispers with fear, is that he's the one that deals with traitors. His loyalty is unquestionable, he never disobeys a direct order even if he tends to have his particular way of follow them (always more violent, more loud). At the same time, he doesn't seem to be on the claws of Kisaki, not totally at least (Takuya envies him so much for that, he has seen on his friends the price of being mere puppets).

They were both completely intoxicated and he can't find the will to hate the other. No matter if the memories makes him want to throw up, if the violence really scared him this time. He doesn't blame him, no more than he blames himself.

One of the fews that actually still talks with Mikey, that always knows where their boss is, like an obsessive shadow. Maybe that's the point, Sanzu's true loyalty is to the one who was once called Invincible (he suspects that's also where the pinkette's heart is, even if he'll never dare to ask).

He wonders if he would've allowed Sanzu to do all that to his body if he had been sober. If Sanzu would've done it if he had also been sober. He shivers, not wanting to know the answer to that.

Sometimes, Takuya feels there is two different people inside that damaged man. The unhinged criminal, the psychopath, the mask he shows to the world (like an irony of the one he used to wear back then).

Possessive, controlling, the one that fucks him raw without mercy. Always demanding more, craving every piece of him.

And Haruchiyo,the one that breaks in his arms when he's too high to contain all that pain. His vulnerability feels even more raw, too honest, too broken. Takuya wonders who is Haruchiyo looking when he tears up, caressing his blond locks with an affection that feels too deep for being directed at the younger boy.

Another flashback hits him, sweet voice on his ear, a complete opposite to the actions on the rest of his body. A name repeated on a loop, making him finally try to resist, to complain. Not that the other cares, who knows if he even realizes, too deep in his delusion. In that cursed name. “Mikey, Mikey, Mikey...”

“...Morning, pretty neck.”

Finally, a voice mumbles next to him, aquamarine eyes staring at his neck when he turns around. Haruchiyo touches the marks, guilt crossing his face when he does it.

“Last night... Shit. I'm sorry.”

Is just a whisper, so weak that he almost misses it. But it's full of shame and remorse, feelings that Takuya know too damn well (that are engraved in his body deeper than any mark or bruise the other could do to him).

“It's fine, we were both high. Don't worry about it.”

He tries to shrugged it off and kisses him softly, showing the same sweetness he learned to hide inside of Toman. Earning a faint smile in return, a couple of arms suddenly clinging on to him. Haruchiyo buries his face on the mistreated neck, exhaling loudly with relief. Deeply inhaling his scent right after, almost like it was oxygen.

Is difficult to not get attached and Takuya finds less reasons to resist every day. And it's fine, right? Everything is just fine.

If it wasn't for his body remembering, everything could be fine.

[fredlikesbreakfast]

little doodle of the boyfriends

@chaoticdelinqueerwithglitter you said something about childhood sweethearts, right?

[fredlikesbreakfast]

you know when halsey sang "it's funny how the warning signs can feel like the butterflies" she was absolutely talking about harutaku

[chaoticdelinqueerwithglitter]

final tl takuya the pharmacist and final tl sanzu who needs a little 'pick me up' every so often

YEEEEEES!

How I didn't thought about that? Takuya is a pharmacist, hell yeah, they are meant for each other! 🤣🤣

I'm shipping them more every day and this? Oh, now I have the angst I was missing in final tl HaruTaku, yuhuuuu! (because c'mon, I love Sanzu and I'm sure in this tl his addiction is not that bad as in Bonten but... Addictive personality doesn't disappear just bc the time line changed, I knew I was an addict before actually trying any hard drugs, no way he's not doing something from time to time!)

I'm not sure if this was a question or you were just pointing this anon, but thank you so much! I just had an idea for a final tl HaruTaku drabble, yuhuuuuu! 🙈

(that I don't know where I will write bc I have to focus on my wips, but drabbles don't really count so maybe soon, who knows)

[chaoticdelinqueerwithglitter]

i do find it funny how we keep running in circles about harutaku. i ask for hcs, you write those hcs, i use those hcs to draw harutaku, you use my drawing to write harutaku fics. quite hilarious actually!

Awwww, I also find it kinda sweet, ngl 🥹 Fanworks inspiring more others to create more fanworks has something magical for me ✨

(please, draw them more, the world needs it 🙏🏻)

It makes me so damn happy to spread hcs of them into the world, I was jumping with excitment when I saw each one of your asks! 💜

(and this just remembered me than I have a draft with hc for final tl harutaku I never got to post, so... Stay tunned! 🫡)

[chaoticdelinqueerwithglitter]

you are so right about sanzu/takuya. i wanna hear all about them! what are your hcs? I'm so curious!

First of all, thanks for this question anon, it make me so happy to know someone else like them! 💜

In case some one is curious where this comes from, here is my HaruTaku fic!

Okay, for properly answering this I think that I also need to go first with my Sanzu hc for that specific timeline, because for me is related in why they make sense! (and bc I love talking about my lil gremlin, ngl)

Sanzu headcanons for Bad Toman Takemichi TL:

Okay, obv he did wharever he could for being close to Mikey, that goes without saying. But there is two big differences with Bonten.

He's not the second in command, so he has to kinda obey Kisaki (what he hates, always giving that silent hater looks 😎). But since he never showed that "good guys toman type of morals", Kisaki allows him to be one of the fews that still sees Mikey, bc he's not going to influence him or stuff like that, Sanzu is totally fine with the darkness (he isn't bc it triggers him tl0 memories but his denial is strong xD) So his job here is mostly watching over Mikey and ofc, getting rid of traitors! No way Kisaki didn't use that once he realizes, Sanzu devotiton is too easy to control and too useful for his own good 🥲

In the other side, this means is less confident about himself than what we saw in Bonten. He's still unhinged but he's not that loud about it, he doesn't have the selfsteem boost of being his king's right hand. So in a way, he's more insecure about himself and the mission he does, since he has less control about what happens to Mikey. Also, Sanzu is a weirdo, so like happened in early Toman he doesn't properly fit with the rest, besides job related thing he doesn`t have friends there (we could count Mucho if in this timeline Izana was never on the picture, but even with that Sanzu doesn't easyly trust people). It took him more time to stop wearing his mask here and it was probably more gradual!

And what we know about Takuya?

Not much, just that he's a sweet person and a good friend. He probably followed the rest of the Mizo gang (specially Takemichi) and got caught in Toman's violence.

He wears a choker in this timeline and had and aming glow-up including some sick tattoos. Pretty boy with sumi vibes!

This is where my hc starts, there is something about Takuya that screams addiction to me. I don't know how to explain it, maybe is his dull eyes, maybe his body language, but Takuya is coping with drugs (mostly downers bc he just wants to disappear for a few hours... Takuya is a softy 🥲)

Finally... HaruTaku headcanons!

One thing about addicts is that we have a radar, we know when someone else is an addict (similar to gaydar but more selfdestructive). So Sanzu probably started noticing the subtle changes in Takuya and he was intrigue about it. Specially coming from someone that was always surrounded by people he dispised. They never really interacted before, but Sanzu started paying more attention to Takuya, noticing more things about him, like how Takuya was actually shy and sweet behind that quiet appearence. And yeah, maybe a part of him felt indentified with that, he could understand having to act quiet to hide yourself better than anyone. For some reason, Sanzu started thinking that maybe they have more in common that it seems at first sight, and we all know he can be a little bit obsessive, so...

At some point, Sanzu aproached to Takuya. He probably created a situation when it could feel almost natural, I personally picture him waiting until Takuya is having some drinks alone (no way he's gonna talk with the other idiots if he can avoid it) and sitting next to him, paying the next round.

Takuya was probably intimidated, with reasons. But at the same time, he was drunk and high and Sanzu is pretty, so damn pretty! So he couldn't and wouldn't resist, it was easy for him to feel flatered by Sanzu's awkward way of flirting (c'mon, he doesn't have social skills, we all know that). And Sanzu? He just told to himself that he was curious, nothing more. Just one night for satisfying his curiosity, that was all. For understanding why on earth he felt that weird attraction towards Takuya.

OBVIOUSLY IT WASN'T ONE NIGHT! 🔥

Mix two pretty boys that are craving for love and affection and a lot of drugs? Recipy for disaster and unhealthy relationship, yey!

The fact Takuya is a submissive person who is numbed by the drugs most of the time and Sanzu has a lot of pent-up agression and is usually high of a mix that includes more estimulants than what Takuya is doing, only leads to unsafe sex where no-one is controlling shit or in the proper state of mind to be aware of how dangerous is what they are doing. What means a lot of next day regrets! 🎉 (extra: Sanzu has a kink with Takuya's neck and is obsessed with the choker, he calls him "pretty neck" on bed. Takuya weakness is Sanzu in high-heels, specially if they are red, I'm not projecting at all on that one, nopes 👀).

Besides sex, there is more to say about their dynamic, don't worry!

Takuya is the type to be sweet and caring, he hides that side of himself inside of Toman but still shows it in his personal life. It wasn't easy for him to feel relaxed around Sanzu and he was afraid of showing his kindness and being mock by the other. But for me Takuya is also an observing person, so I think it didn't took him a long time to realized how wounded is Sanzu, how he actually hates being in his own mind more than anything, how much he craves love, aproval, affection. So he started showing more of his loving side, having small gestures towards the other, always in private. Physical displays of affection in general, but also waking him with coffee, paying attention to his needs or his routine, making sure he felt comfortable even when they slept in Takuya's apartment (that now is always extremely clean only for Sanzu)

And Sanzu? He was melting with all of this. Well, to be fair at the beginning he was baffled, unsure or what to do or how react to someone showing him affection and kindnes, specially since Takuya didn't seem to be expecting anything in return. But once he finally understood it was fine to let Takuya spoil him and treat him like he actually deserved love... Then he was melting. Wakui said Sanzu is the most needy/clingy, so he started to be the one asking (demanding) for affection, wanting to be pampered, resting his head on Takuya's lap and enjoying how he plays with his hair (that's a privilege, he's really protective of his glorious pink hair! It's totally baji's fault)

Do they love each other? Well, that's complicated. Their relationship is not exactly public and they never talked about what it is, always pretending is something casual. It's easier like that (no it's not but they are bad at feelings). Takuya is aware that he's falling more for Sanzu every day, but he's terrified of the other reaction if he actually says the three words, so he hides it. Or tries to, because he pours this love in every small gesture, specially during their lazy mornings, when between the hangover and the guilt Sanzu acts a lot softer, wanting to give Takuya all the after-care he's able to dom

And Sanzu... Well, he wouldn't say he loves loves Takuya (because Mikey exists 😮‍💨), but he admits to himself that he deeply cares about the other. That there is more than atraction, that he enjoys their time together. Affection? A less obsessive love than what he feels for Mikey? He isn't sure and he can't deal with it, so he settles with caring.

Of course, we also need to talk about Mikey's ghost! Sanzu knows Takuya is not Mikey, is not that he's projecting him on the other all the time, it's just... He yearns for Mikey, he can't help it. So, sometimes, Takuya's blond locks make him feel that longing and he can't stop himself to imagine for a few seconds (delusional HaruMai in every timeline, hell yeah!🔥). In counted ocasions, when he's really high and out of himself, he says Mikey's name during sex and pretends to not remember the next morning because he feels too ashamed of it. He remembers more than he wishes, but he feels like shit and can't talk about that, he can't avoid feeling guilty, thinking that Takuya deserves better, deserves somone that is not using him as a replacement. Takuya understanding only adds more fuel to his guilt.

In that ocasions he tends to act distant for a few days, trying to dettach himself, to pretend he doesn't miss Takuya's affection. Until reality comes crushing down on him again and he ends up looking for Takuya, knocking at his door in the middle of the night.

Takuya felt hurt the first few times this cycle happened, but he didn't had the courage to actually confront Sanzu about it. Until one of that nights he saw how broken was Sanzu, he saw a little bit of the pain that the other usually hides from the rest of the world. It was the first Sanzu cried infront of him and the first time he called him "Haruchiyo", earning a surprised look and a weak smile 🥹

Since then, when Sanzu acts like that Takuya gives him space, understanding is not about him, that the other is fighting with his personal demonds.

And... That's it for now because I need to stop myself at some point or this will end up being longer than a fic. Maybe I will add more things in the future! 🙈

And hey, now that I look at it, they are not that terrible for each other if it wasn't for the amount of drugs and the dangerous sex. But hey, there is also love and sweetness and Sanzu needs that, so... Not that bad? 👀

I almost forgot! @lucifugousart is the amazing artist that did a Takuya fanart and is cooking something even better!

(feel free to add your own hc too, Andre! HaruTaku is a collaborative ship 😌)

[fredlikesbreakfast]

the difference between harutaku and takukoto is that at the end of the story, takukoto get married and retire to the countryside, while with harutaku, one of them goes missing either before or after their divorce

[fredlikesbreakfast]

a little doodle i made for @chaoticdelinqueerwithglitter because they're the ceo of harutaku and they wrote an awesome fic like this that you should check out :]

[fredlikesbreakfast]

no matter what, you grow older

[fredlikesbreakfast]

oooooog harutaku infecting my brain... harutaku bonten harutaku... takuya wasn't at pah's wedding and sanzu wasn't at pah's wedding what if takuya was a part of bonten because instead of following michi wherever he goes he's actually just been following sanzu wherever he goes and michi just happens to be wheerever sanzu is what if what if what if

I HATE YOU I HATE YOU HOW COULD YOU GIVE ME THESE BRAINWORMS I CANT STOP

[fredlikesbreakfast]

Rated T for Teen

Sanzu/Takuya

3.6k Words

"Sanzu notices that Takuya's not the best fighter so he offers (well, Takuya doesn't really have a choice) to train him, but there's a slight problem:

... Takuya may or may not have a crush on the fifth division vice captain."