#they are like internet trolls in real life
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eggy-the-boy · 6 months ago
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Do you think the dandelion sprites were so aggressive and overly mean because they feed on attention and that was the quickest way to grab people's attention or are those particular sprites just like that?
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kameonerd566 · 5 months ago
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#i have a rant but it doesn't need to be seen so its going in the tags- like i need to get it out but like it doesn't need to be 'loud' yo?#*yk?#also sidenote my emoji keyboard updated so there's probably gonna be a lot of typos#i seriously cant believe my eyes when it comes to some of the hate online#like#i just blocked a good dozen people because they were just so--- mean spirited? i mean i guess its no surprise there's trolls on the internet#but these ppl are not trolls they just genuinely have these hateful opinions. and that's fine. thats why I'm whispering in my tags because#like it really is fine they're not doing anything wrong. but i just cant bwlelievw my eyes#how can people just so profoundly misunderstand others? and then yell about it so loudly like they're the the most righteous voice?#especially on the internet. i think a lot of times we forget that we only see a tiny little window into what a person is really like.#we will never know the whole story of who someone is or what they've been through in a parasocial format. hell even in a real life format.#it just boggles my mind#i cant imagine the amour of strength it must take to be bullied your whole entire life- as a child and teen and now as an adult creator.#thats insane#and then to have people constantly demanding that you step back into the ring#as if they've never made a mistake before - as if they're anger as a stranger on the internet is some sort of divine right#i just wow#complete opposite energy of the boop button#we need more boop buttons#metaphorically and literally- we need to push more buttons that say 'i love you' that say 'i don't know who the fuck you are or what you've#been through jut i see you and i love you'#what if we all just held hands#ugh#i guess you could call this rant 'baby's first time seeing an anti tag'#ughhhhh
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yesterdayiwrote · 1 year ago
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George’s tweet is STILL full of those ‘fans’ in the QTs sending him abuse? Like Jesus fucking Christ what do you want from the guy at this point?
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austencollins · 2 years ago
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That post getting all nostalgic over how “don’t feed the trolls” used to be the norm online keeps popping up, and it’s not that it’s a terrible unreasonable post or totally bad advice or anything; but it drives me a little bonkers to see people acting like that phrase went out of fashion for no reason or because everyone just got cranky or whatever. “don’t feed the trolls” is good advice when you’re a member of a well-moderated forum trying to stay on topic and keep out of flame wars. it’s not useful if you’re the one who has to moderate everything, or if you’re dealing with swatters, doxxers, brigadiers & so on; because there’s no guarantee that ignoring online harassment will make it stop, or prevent things from getting worse.
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nanabanonana · 11 months ago
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puritans: 🤢🤢🤢 i just found out people have PREFERENCES
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srngrque · 5 months ago
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tell my girlfriend i love her.
jude bellingham x fem!reader. fluff jude has something to say to the public, clearly.
The city of Madrid was crying out loud in white and happiness while you were quietly suffering with your thesis paper, the ultimate killer of your life.
Your heart was already sinking, knowing you were not able to go to the stadium to cheer your boyfriend after his first biggest win of the season but Jude was more understanding than anyone as he kept saying it was alright and it just made your day way worse.
("I am so sorry, I wish I could come but this paper . . it is killing me." You muttered through your phone, as the other line heard you in silence.
Jude sighed, and your heart broke a little. It will be his big day, his club's big day, and you, being his girlfriend, could not attend. Your thoughts lingered toward the trolls on the internet who would be after the status of your relationship.
"It is alright, my love. You will call me after we finish the game, innit? I would just love to hear your voice after we win." Jude softly said, in his voice settled a calmness and a sense of assurance.
You nodded furiously. "I will call you, of course, I will. I love you," You sighed in defeat. "I love you so much." You said it once again, more clearly to hear, more firmly to believe. You could just envision Jude sitting on his bed, biting his lips in slight disappointment with his shoulder completely down like a baby.
"I love you too." He chuckled, trying to make you feel better about the whole situation. "Your boyfriend will make you proud."
"My boyfriend always makes me proud.")
So you decided to take a break from the paper and see the live broadcast of Real Madrid through your large television that Jude gifted claiming to watch him play while you do your little assignment. Switching the television on the news was already covering the win of Real Madrid in the Champions League. After his fresh win with his club, you had already called Jude but it was impossible to pick up since he was happily celebrating with his family and his teammates.
And you did not mind.
His bright smile and the happiness that twinkled through his eyes as he proudly showed off his badge and its accomplishment was warming your heart. Proud was an understatement with Jude, but it was all worth it.
Traveling around Madrid with his teammates on the upper deck of the bus. Your eyes lingered on Jude through the live broadcast as he quietly sipped his cup. You shook your head, laughing since his drunk behavior is quite questionable and now he has decided to show off to the world.
This would be fun, you thought.
"Jude, how do you feel about the win in your first season?" The reporter gently forwarded the mic to Jude who had a red cup holding on his hand. He laughed, grabbing the mic.
"Being in Real Madrid was already a great pleasure, but winning with the club and for the people who support Real Madrid was another beautiful moment of my life and I do not think I will ever forget. But I," He caught a breather for a moment, "I honestly do not know but like, I miss my girlfriend." He rambled through his words. You laughed on your couch, confused and slightly nervous about his behavior. "So I do not know, maybe I am happy but I am sad too." He confessed at the end.
With all the fixed pieces of your heart, it broke piece by piece with his confession at the end.
The reporter took the mic from Jude, but he frantically grabbed it back as if he still had something to say. Clearing his throat, he waved the cameraman to come closer, "Please come here. No, please stay back. No need. I have a mic. Please stay back. I need to look presentable." He laughed.
You mentally note to never let his lips touch any form of alcohol whatsoever. Well, his mother will do the part too. "Can you please tell my girlfriend I love her? Oh wait, I have a mic." Jude whispered to the reporter whilst still holding the mic.
You cupped your mouth, not wanting to laugh at him. Your heart clenched out in adoration at the boy standing in front of a sports broadcast confessing out loud that he simply misses his girlfriend.
"Jude, I think you told her that just now." The reporter laughed. The camera shook in a degree noticing that the cameraman was laughing alongside. The heat crept through your neck but your eyes could not leave him, and his expression for the whole nation to see, he furrowed his eyebrows, shaking his head.
"No, I need to tell her properly again." Jude expressed his words through his pouted lips and his eyes darted at the camera.
"We won, baby. I love you, I love you so much, I will call you after this, I promise and I will fly to you and my heart will still be yours." Jude smiled, staring at the camera with his eyes still sad, yet his smile gave enough of how much he simply wanted to be with you right now.
"I love you too." You whispered softly . . for nobody to hear but most likely the ghost, yet it was enough to know he is coming home to you.
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melshifting · 2 months ago
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―୨୧ if you're feeling unmotivated remember that... (shifting)
[...] If you doubt that shifting is real, remember that…
𖦹 We are not the first culture to practice shifting - the ability to consciously perceive another reality is found in cultures and religions where meditation and manfestation (shifting) are important elements, such as Hinduism, Buddhism, Taoism (Taichi) and Shamanism, for example.
𖦹 Shifting (along with the functioning of the conscious) is a subject that has been studied for years by several scientists and researchers; the most popular case being Jacob Gringberg.
𖦹 Steven Hawking himself speculated a lot about time travelling, to such an extent that he made a party so that in some alternate reality he could meet a time traveler (traveler's party experiment).
[...] If you doubt about your ability to shift, remember that…
𖦹 Shifting, like everything else you have mastered throughout your life, is an ability. Therefore, this is something innate in all people. You are not so special as not to be able to do it.
𖦹 Even if it was unconsciously, you have already shifted countless times, what makes you think that you will not succeed just because you consciously try to do it?
𖦹 There is at least one reality in the entire Infiniverse where you do not know about the existence of shifting; be glad to know about such an ability that you can use to your advantage.
[...] If you think people are lying about shifting, remember that…
𖦹 Do you really think there are thousands of accounts, on various platforms, dedicated exclusively to lie to people? Accounts managed by people who even have a college degree and a job, do you really think they upload content on a daily basis because they have nothing better to do than troll?
𖦹 Shifting is not an inside joke in a certain community; internet jokes are debunked over time, like what happened with “Zepotha” last year, for example.
𖦹 Several shifting content creators have gotten tattoos of the shifting symbol - e.g. @lourcherry; @jamielsavory; @constantmanifesting; @luashiftiing_; @elizabethshifting1; (TikTok accs) etc. It would be silly to have something that is a “lie” tattooed on your skin for life, wouldn't it?
𖦹 Shifting is a concept with many synonyms which you've probably seen on TikTok and other social platforms - the best known synonym for it being “manifestation”. It's a topic which is abundant on this platform, so if we add this to the first point, are millions of people now lying for fun?
――₊✩‧₊˚౨ৎ˚₊✩‧₊――
Thanks for reading love, happy shifting <3
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creamflix · 7 days ago
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UNSCRIPTED — toji fushiguro x female reader [chapter 1/5]
summary: you’re a faceless author of scandalous smut — great at writing steamy scenes but totally clueless about real-life romance (and with no one to match your freak). enter toji fushiguro, a hot stranger you (accidentally) throw up on during a drunken night out. surprise! he’s also the future voice actor for your smutty novel’s main character. can you survive the awkwardness of your disastrous meet-cute while keeping your identity (and dignity) a secret? welcome to the chaos of your own erotic fantasy romcom!
content warning & tags: (erotic) voice artist! toji, (smut) writer! reader, smutty content!! [will be added over the course of the series], sort of workplace romance, secret/anon identity, slight social media au, meet-cute, virgin!reader, single dad dilf! toji, kid! megumi, strangers to lovers (?), she fell first but he fell harder, mentions of other characters (satoru gojo, suguru geto, megumi fushiguro, shoko eiri, brief mentions of ryomen sukuna)
notes: hi friends !! wow, been a hot min since i wrote something of this caliber. feels good to be back in biz ;D did you all miss persephone! suguru? because there's a LOT of him here >_< i really wanted to publish this as a oneshot but....tumblr hates me so now it's gonna be a chaptered series! oh , joy! ps @nappingmoon i got u bae, this one is for you.
read on ao3! ● series masterlist
➤ related au: persephone [business tycoon! sukuna x reader]
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you never really set out to be the face of smut-lit. 
in fact, you weren’t even really a face at all — just a “faceless” author penning scandalous stories for fans who devoured them, and haters who, well… tried to eat you alive.
you’d started out innocently enough, scribbling down your little fantasies and tropes that no self-respecting romance book would touch. then one day, a friend dared you to post one on booktok. 
you thought, "fuck it" and uploaded a snippet of your latest brainchild: a steamy billionaire x star-crossed chef fic called hunger games: not that kind of hungerer. it was, admittedly, extra spicy. 
and oh, did the internet have thoughts.
soon, your comments section and dm’s became a battleground for all opinions on “what qualifies as literature.” gems included:
who even writes this crap? did a middle schooler steal her mom’s laptop? i can feel my brain cells self-destructing as i read this 💀 girl hasn’t even been within a mile radius of a dick and it SHOWS
you'd had to admit… the last comment was right. but hey, they only added to the fuel. 
like moths to a flame, they kept coming back, and the trolling just made your followers skyrocket. a lot of people secretly liked the outrageousness, the drama, and the absolute audacity of it all. before long, your books were trending, and you were raking in numbers (and dollars) most “serious” authors could only dream of.
soon, you found yourself the subject of headlines you never thought you’d see:
the faceless queen of spice: how one unknown author is reshaping romance. trolled online, loved in secret—author sells millions in ebook downloads. social media says she has no idea what she’s talking about, but her bank account says otherwise.
and the kicker?
you’d never had sex with anyone, let alone…well, rocked worlds like your characters. 
here you were, a smut writer with zero real-life experience, who’d single-handedly created booktok’s, bookstagram and hell, even the people down at twitter's guilty pleasure.
but the day big publishers started knocking on your door, it was surreal, to say the least. 
you’d been fully prepared for the anonymous online fame — hell, you’d leaned into it, posting “faceless author life” videos and doing question and answer sessions where you dropped zero identifying details, save for some vague hand gestures and blurred-out backgrounds. but now, major publishing houses wanted in on the action.
��we think your stories have broad market appeal,” one exec had said on a zoom call, trying to make “billionaire mafia love quadrangle” sound dignified. “if we could get them on shelves, we’d reach an audience beyond booktok. international appeal is the goal here!”
suddenly, your filthy, albeit occasionally cringey, tales were going global. they got translated into french (where your enemies-to-lovers series got a fancy new title: l’amour et la haine). your spicy chef saga was reborn in italian as sapore di te, which roughly translated to taste of you (and made you blush, honestly). 
and when your personal favorite, the billionaire’s forbidden touch, hit the japanese market, they titled it 禁断の夜 (which… you didn’t even want to know the translation of, because you knew it was even worse than the original).
you had to admit, though, seeing these books spread worldwide made your head spin. what started as a joke online was now somehow sitting next to classics in international bookstores, becoming a hot commodity for fans everywhere.
but the cherry on top? 
oh, that came when you opened an email from none other than gojo-sonic, the world-renowned audio company best known for its highly specialized audiobook recordings. they’d taken smut literature to the next level, hiring voice actors who sounded like they were in the room with you, all breathy whispers and seductive baritones. people had raved that these audiobooks were “too real” — like they’d been recorded in a closed room with dim lights and a whole lot of… commitment.
they offered you a multi-million dollar deal to turn your books into experiences.
one of your friends, absolutely losing it, texted you as soon as they heard the news:
homegirl [5:21 pm]: “OMG OMG so you’re gonna do it right?? u realize this means ppl will be hearing ur lil virgin brain’s fantasies out loud in their headphones right” you [5:21 pm]: “no kidding. i’m freaking out. this feels illegal.” homegirl [5:22 pm]: “but u gotta!! pls this is ICONIC.” you [5:24 pm]: “they’re giving me millions. you think i’m saying no? lmao.”
it still felt surreal that soon, the whole world would hear your books come to life with professional voice actors — ones who knew exactly how to tease and breathe and make listeners feel like they were right there.
“bring my fantasies to life, huh?” you muttered to yourself, flipping through the contract that would secure your financial future, all because of your fictional men and their, uh, moves. 
who the hell were you to say no to that?
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it was surreal enough to get an email from gojo-sonic, but now, sitting across from the ceo himself, gojo satoru, you were starting to wonder if this whole experience was some fever dream.
the man was stunning in an obnoxious, immaculate way. snowy hair, piercing blue eyes, and sunglasses balanced on his head like a headband. and, okay, you had to admit: it was a little weird that he’d named his company after himself — though, frankly, it just fit.
you tried not to laugh when he introduced himself. gojo satoru, ceo of gojo-sonic. the narcissism was off the charts, but so was his charm. as a quick google search before the meeting had revealed, gojo sonic had an impeccable reputation, and there was apparently not a single scandal tied to its name.
“nice to meet you,” you said, shaking his hand and trying to keep your cool. “kinda surprised a guy is running a… company like this. no offense.”
“none taken!” he replied, leaning back in his chair with an easy grin. “if i’m honest, i’m probably the last guy anyone would expect here. but,” he shrugged, “it works. my employees say i’m a ‘girl’s girl,’ whatever that means.”
the way he said it so nonchalantly made you smirk. apparently, the term wasn’t a throwaway nickname, either; the gojo-sonic gossip mill painted him as the absolute dream boss. rumor had it he’d given his whole office a free day off because his assistant had been dumped, and when a writer complained about unisex bathrooms making her uncomfortable, he’d personally had a “feminine touch” added to every single stall, complete with pink hand soap and luxurious lotions. he was kind, considerate, a man who just got it.
“people say i’m probably gay,” he added, laughing as if that was the most absurd thing he’d ever heard. “and you know what? let ‘em think what they want.” he gave you a wink. “as long as they keep buying the goods, i couldn’t care less.”
honestly? the guy made a point. did it matter who he was taking home at the end of the day? not at all, as long as your bank account kept racking up zeros.
“speaking of,” he continued, “we’ve got the full studio ready for tomorrow. you’ll meet the voice actors, go over a few sections, and give input as needed. think of it like a live theater production, except it’s your book.”
“oh, i get to… watch them record?” you asked, wondering how mortifying it might be to sit there, watching actors give their all to lines like, “you’re mine tonight, darling.” 
yeah, you’d written it, but watching someone breathe life into it was a different level of… embarrassment.
“even better,” gojo grinned, looking far too amused by your nervousness, “you’ll get to guide them. they’ll take direction from you — however you want the line delivered, that’s how they’ll say it.”
“you mean i can… like… make suggestions? on delivery?”
“exactly!” he said with a small clap. “we want it to be perfect. i’ve already arranged for our top voice actor, toji fushiguro, to voice your main character.”
toji fushiguro?
if gojo-sonic was the industry’s top company, toji was the crown jewel of voice acting. the guy was a legend. 
he had that smoky, velvet tone that could turn a mundane grocery list into a full-on romance scene. he was also notoriously elusive; some people waited months to get him to even consider their projects. and you — the virgin author who’d stumbled into fame thanks to trolls and booktok — had him voicing your main character?
“wait, toji fushiguro is doing this?” you asked, jaw practically on the floor.
gojo chuckled, looking far too pleased with your reaction. “yep! i think you two are going to work great together. he’s intense but flexible; really good at taking feedback.”
you tried to imagine giving feedback to toji fushiguro of all people. 
“um, maybe say ‘you’re mine’ with more… conviction?” 
“can you sound a bit more possessive on that line?”
“i, uh…” you managed, trying to swallow your nerves. “okay. yeah. sounds… good.”
“great! i think you’ll be amazed. toji’s professionalism is unmatched, and he’ll bring exactly the level of…” Gojo paused, grinning, “intensity you need to really make your character come to life.”
“good luck tomorrow! i’ll make sure everything’s set up perfectly,” gojo had assured you with a big grin as you left the office. “don’t stress about a thing. our identities are always kept top secret here. toji’s included! he’s never done a face reveal, and your privacy is just as ironclad.”
oh god. tomorrow, you were really going to sit there while toji fushiguro acted out lines you’d written on a whim in your pajamas.
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sure, not stressing sounded like a logical plan. but after that surreal conversation — and the realization that tomorrow morning, you’d be face-to-face with the one and only toji fushiguro, hearing him breathe life into your raunchiest fantasies — you did what any responsible, mature adult would do.
you headed straight to the nearest bar and got sloshed.
by the time you were three cocktails deep, the reality of tomorrow’s “firsts” hit you like a ton of bricks. first real direction on an audiobook, first time meeting a voice actor, first time dealing with your own steaminess out loud, and — oh god — the cherry on top, it was toji fushiguro himself.
sure, you thought, sipping from your fourth drink and trying not to scream as lana del rey sings “it’s you, it’s you, it’s all for you,” i might be slightly freaking out.
another cocktail slid your way. you squinted, unsure if you'd ordered it or if the bartender was just reading your general mood, because yeah, you did look like someone who needed another round.
“tough night?”
“tough tomorrow.” you swirled your drink, laughing to yourself. “i mean… you ever written a, uh, totally inappropriate novel and had to watch a famous guy turn it into audio?”
“…can’t say that i have.”
you shrugged, downing a bit more of the drink, when the song on the speakers switched to avril lavigne’s complicated. fitting, given that your life had just become exactly that.
“why’d you have to go and make things so complicated?” avril sang, like she knew.
the bartender, apparently used to the types who showed up for existential crises alone, leaned against the counter. “sounds like big stuff tomorrow, then. what kind of work do you do, anyway?”
“oh, just… smutty novels,” you said, letting it slip before you could stop yourself. “just… page after page of absolutely shameless, absurd filth. and now i’m, y’know, supposed to direct the guy. to make it sound like he’s really, um, in the moment.”
the bartender chuckled, raising a brow. “sounds intense.”
“you have no idea.” you sighed, rubbing a hand over your face. “he’s this insanely talented voice actor. i mean, they’ve got toji fushiguro in there, which is like… god. if he knew who i actually was, he’d probably laugh.”
why’d you have to go and make things so complicated? avril continued wailing, her words your accidental anthem.
“well, whatever happens,” the bartender said, passing you a glass of water with a grin, “sounds like you’re about to have a pretty interesting morning.”
“i’ll drink to that,” you muttered, clinking your cocktail glass against the water. you downed it, hoping that somehow, it might chase the nerves away.
and as everytime we touch, i get this feeling started blasting on the speakers, you couldn’t help but shake your head with a groan. if there was a playlist made for romantic embarrassment, it was definitely playing tonight.
in your half-sloshed state, it seemed like a good idea to turn to the stranger who’d just sauntered up to the bar — a ridiculously hot stranger, tall with dark hair, and a scar slashing right across his lip. it was the kind of look that would’ve inspired an entire chapter in one of your books, but as of right now? it was just inspiring some truly regrettable choices.
“goodness gracious, great balls of fire,” you muttered to yourself, just loud enough to catch his attention, which felt smooth, in your totally buzzed opinion. so, of course, you swung around on your stool, plastering on what you hoped was an alluring smile.
oh god, here we go. “hey there, handsome…” you paused, hiccuping “… you come here often?”
the stranger raised an eyebrow, clearly amused, leaning an elbow against the bar with a smirk that could kill. “depends,” he said, voice low and rough. “you, uh, always this friendly after a few drinks?”
oh god. 
oh god. 
but you couldn’t stop now. 
you were committed. 
you were bold. 
with all the poise of a drunk giraffe, you propped your elbow on the bar and leaned in closer, pointing a finger at his chest — totally unintentionally, because your depth perception was off by, oh, about a mile. “well, what can i say,” you replied, attempting a sultry grin. “good-lookin’ guys like you… don’t come around often enough, mister.”
“it’s like i’m drunk off your love,” played from the speakers, not helping your case at all. 
oh god, this was actually happening. 
he actually laughed, a warm, deep chuckle, as he watched you struggle through whatever pickup line was about to escape your lips.
he tilted his head, that smirk turning up a notch. “should i be flattered?”
“you should!” you exclaimed, with a bit too much enthusiasm. “you’re like… i dunno, like one of my… you look like a… a fictional character.” 
smooth, real smooth.
“oh yeah?” his smirk widened. “so, what am i, a prince?”
“more like…” you bit your lip, trying to focus, “an antihero with a… tragic past and just enough softness in his heart to make him dangerous in all the right ways.”
he looked you up and down, bemusement clear in his eyes. “dangerous in the right ways? is that your type?”
you gave a shaky wink, nearly missing because the world was swimming a bit. “maybe.”
he chuckled, his voice all rich and velvety, and leaned in closer. “so… you’re here alone? i mean, besides all the fictional men you’re envisioning.”
“for now,” you replied, trying to sound mysterious, but it just came out as a bit… wobbly.
the bartender set the stranger’s drink down with a raised eyebrow, and he took a sip, watching you with amused interest. “you know, maybe you should slow down before you scare all the good guys away.”
“oh, trust me,” you replied, hiccuping again. “i don’t scare easy.”
he shook his head, clearly entertained, and you felt yourself glowing under his gaze. you were about to continue — just as soon as the world stopped spinning — when you felt the slightest bit queasy, your stomach reminding you that you’d had one cocktail too many.
the stranger’s amused smirk softened. “you alright there?”
“i’m…” you swallowed. “perfectly fine. just, you know… making sure you’re… getting the full effect of my…” you barely managed the word “…rizz.”
he laughed outright this time, low and warm, like he genuinely couldn’t believe you were real. “is that so? lucky me.”
it was all going so well — okay, not well, but you were holding your own, kind of. you had him laughing, after all, which for someone with approximately zero charisma was an accomplishment! but then the first chords of firework by katy perry blared through the speakers, and as if on cue, your stomach decided to join in the grand finale.
“do you ever feel like a plastic bag,” katy crooned, but for you, it was more like a “do you ever feel like you’re about to ruin your night by barfing on a hot stranger?”
before you could process what was happening, the tequila-fueled fireworks decided to erupt all over this guy’s very expensive-looking shoes.
oh god. oh god.
you looked up, mortified, to find him staring down at his shoes, eyebrows raised. wow, would you look at the time? 
run.
“oh… oh no. i… i’m so sorry, i swear this never happens.”
he raised a brow, still looking somewhere between amused and horrified. “well, that’s… comforting?”
you grabbed a napkin, fumbling, still buzzing enough to not know if you should laugh, cry, or just make a run for it.
“guess that’s, uh, one way to make an impression,” he murmured, lips twitching in a smirk even as he assessed the disaster on his shoes.
“oh god. really, i’m… i’m so sorry.” you dabbed helplessly at his shoes with a cocktail napkin, somehow making things worse. “if it helps, i… i normally only vomit on hot guys.”
he chuckled, though you were sure it was mostly at you, and shook his head. “well, it’s one hell of an icebreaker.”
“baby, you’re a firework,” katy sang passionately in the background, but you were already ready to crawl under the bar and disappear forever.
you were surprised — actually, you were shocked — that the stranger hadn’t ditched you after the whole public-vomiting-on-his-shoes fiasco. instead, somehow, he was still right there, leaned in close and casually sipping his drink, just as much a mess as you were. hours had passed, and you’d been rambling about anything and everything, lost in an alcohol-fueled bubble that had turned the night into something you’d never have dreamed of.
maybe it was the booze, or maybe it was the guy’s ridiculously calm attitude, but you’d opened up about your career, the absurdity of writing spicy novels as a faceless author, and even your terror about tomorrow. he’d listened with a smirk, offering the occasional snarky remark or grunt of approval. in return, he’d told you a bit about himself too — well, at least, you thought he did. at some point, the details got hazy.
“so, what do you do?” you asked, squinting at him like it was going to make his face stop swimming in your vision.
he shrugged, swirling his drink and giving a lopsided grin. “something kinda like… acting. you know, nothing glamorous.” there was a hint of amusement there, like he was in on a joke you weren’t.
you squinted harder, your mind pulling up images of random professions. “oh, so like… theater? or like, movies? or wait — commercials? are you one of those guys that has to pretend he’s in love with a bowl of soup?”
he let out a deep laugh, and the sound sent an unexpected shiver down your spine. “sure, something like that. though i’d like to think i’m a bit more convincing than a soup guy.”
you grinned, leaning in closer, your curiosity fully piqued despite your state. “convincing, huh? so you’re a good actor, then?”
“i do my best,” he said, voice low, that amused glint in his eye again.
“you have to be really good to make people believe in, like, totally unrealistic things, y’know?” you babbled, waving your hand. “like, imagine trying to voice —” you cut yourself off, feeling a hint of embarrassment as you remembered why you’d gotten so sloshed in the first place. the irony of tomorrow, and how this entire conversation felt like it was straight out of one of your own stories.
but before you could get too in your head about it, he tilted his head, looking genuinely interested. “voice what? i’m curious, princess.”
princess. the nickname sent a bolt of something dangerously warm straight through you, and you bit your lip to keep from smiling too wide. “oh, nothing…” you said, waving him off. “just, you know… the usual. people who… um, make people fall in love with their voice.”
“and what if i told you,” he leaned in even closer, smirking as if he’d just had the best idea ever, “that i could probably do that?”
you rolled your eyes, not believing him one bit. “oh really? think you could pull it off?”
“depends,” he said with a shrug. “what kinda character am i playing?”
you didn’t realize it, but you’d inched even closer, like you were hanging on his every word. “someone… someone rough around the edges,” you started, your voice dropping, completely lost in the moment, “but with a softness underneath. someone who could make the world stop with just a whisper…”
he smirked, eyes never leaving yours, and for a second, you felt like he was taking every word way too seriously. “i think i could manage that.”
you blinked, feeling a blush rise. 
this stranger had charisma — like, the kind of charisma you’d thought only existed in your characters. 
oh god, maybe you should write him into your next story. you shook yourself, blinking the daydreams away just as he started talking again.
“... and that’s why,” he was saying, “there’s a bit of an art to saying things just right. people think it’s all about the words, but it’s the way you say them that makes it real, y’know?”
you nodded, trying to focus on his words as the room spun just a bit. “so you’re telling me, it’s all in the delivery?”
“exactly.” his gaze dropped to your lips, and he smirked, like he knew exactly what he was doing. “even the… dirtiest lines sound good if you say ’em the right way.”
oh no. that dangerous warmth was back.
somewhere between his intense gaze and that slow, lopsided smirk, dancing queen by abba blared through the bar speakers, jarring you out of your tipsy trance. the upbeat, disco-infused rhythm filled the room, all but laughing at the “moment” you thought you were having with this too-hot-for-reality stranger.
was this a moment? or were you just ridiculously drunk? did he even have a name? or were you just too far gone to have bothered asking?
“you can dance, you can jive,” abba sang, practically mocking you as you stared, wide-eyed, at the man across from you, his scarred lip twisted in a little grin as he watched you piece it all together. he must’ve seen the dawning realization on your face, because he chuckled, reaching for his drink again.
“something wrong, princess?” he asked, leaning forward with a glint of amusement.
oh, great. i’ve already been promoted to ‘princess’ by a guy i might not know the name of. you were seconds away from facepalming.
“uh, nothing,” you said, waving a hand as casually as you could manage. “just, uh, thinking how ironic it is that dancing queen is playing while… we’re, you know…”
“... having a moment?” he teased, clearly enjoying himself.
“well,” you cleared your throat, cheeks blazing, “if you can call me drunkenly staring at you while abba serenades us a ‘moment.’”
“hey, it’s a solid soundtrack choice,” he replied, looking like he was suppressing a laugh. “besides, don’t pretend this isn’t kinda perfect.”
“you think dancing queen is perfect for this?”
he shrugged, sipping his drink. “come on, you’re hammered, i’m here keeping you company, and we’re both, what… living in the moment?” he quirked a brow, his smirk widening as he eyed you, like he was daring you to argue.
and then, maybe out of pure liquid courage, or maybe because the absurdity was too much, you laughed. “yeah, living the moment… with some guy whose name i don’t even know.”
“toji,” he said, offering his hand with a lazy grin, like he’d just handed you a secret.
“toji,” you echoed, shaking his hand. he held on for a second longer than necessary, his gaze never leaving yours.
 oh, this guy was trouble, and you were in so deep.
“and you?” he asked, still holding your hand.
you barely managed to whisper your name, but it came out like a sigh, and he repeated it back like it was something precious. “well then,” he said, smirking, “guess that makes two dancing queens tonight.”
“toji…” you muttered, the name slipping off your tongue again as you tried to place it. there was something familiar about it, like you’d heard it before, but in your tequila-drenched state, nothing was sticking. 
toji, toji… where had you heard that name?
he cocked an eyebrow, clearly amused as you stared at him like he was the world’s most frustrating puzzle. “something on your mind?”
“n-no,” you stammered, then immediately backpedaled. “wait, actually, yes. toji, right?”
he nodded, a playful gleam in his eye. “that’s the one.”
“toji… toji…” you repeated, squinting at him as if a clearer view would magically connect the dots. and then, it hit you — toji fushiguro. 
the voice actor who would be bringing your spicy, shamelessly dramatic main character to life. 
the same guy you were supposed to meet tomorrow, the guy who was probably used to making everyone’s knees buckle with just a whisper.
“no way…” you whispered, clutching your head, and you could practically feel the blush creeping up your cheeks. “you — you’re… that toji?”
he gave a slight tilt of his head, his eyes twinkling with mischief. “what, surprised that i could be both hot and talented?”
you sputtered, trying to backtrack and failing miserably. “no! i mean, yes, but i just — tomorrow —  you’re… you’re the guy who’s voicing my main character?”
he leaned back with a smirk, clearly enjoying the whirlwind of emotions he was putting you through. “didn’t think the universe would give you a sneak preview tonight, huh?”
your fuzzy brain struggled to compute this twist of fate. you were drunk, mortified, and beyond flustered, sitting in a bar with the man who’d soon be giving voice to all your filthy, shameless words. this was almost too much.
“oh my god,” you muttered, sinking back in your seat. “i literally threw up on my main character’s shoes.”
toji let out a hearty laugh, patting your shoulder. “hey, if anything, i’d say it’s on-brand for the kind of night you’d write.”
just as you were processing the sheer, ridiculous insanity of the situation, a fresh wave of nausea hit you like a freight train. before you could even react, you leaned forward and… splattered the floor with a decidedly not-dignified stream of bile. this time, it was almost cinematic, complete with a dramatic gagging sound that had you doubling over.
you watched in horror as you once again spewed your insides onto the floor, narrowly missing toji’s shoes but definitely adding a new layer to the already mortifying scene. 
you’d probably just hit rock bottom.
“oh, god,” you groaned, covering your mouth with your hand as the bile burned your throat. “i swear… i’m not normally like this.”
toji chuckled, rubbing a hand over the back of his neck as he handed you a stack of napkins the bartender had generously supplied. “i’m starting to think i’m just a little too overwhelming for you, princess.”
you shot him a sheepish look as you wiped your mouth. overwhelming was an understatement. 
“yeah, maybe we can leave that out of tomorrow’s team introductions,” you mumbled, trying desperately to pull yourself together.
toji chuckled, tossing a few more napkins your way. “no judgment here. it’s a rough night for a first ‘meet-cute,’ but hey, you’re nothing if not memorable.”
you gripped the napkin, willing yourself to hold it together, at least until you could make a semi-dignified exit. “i don’t even want to know what story you’ll tell people about this.”
toji just laughed, completely unbothered, as if getting vomited on was a regular night for him. “don’t worry, i’ll keep it discreet.” his voice dipped, lowering to a murmur. “for a girl with secrets, i figure you’d appreciate that.”
he lifted his drink and gave you a small toast. “to first meetings — and unforgettable nights. and hey, maybe tomorrow, you’ll surprise me and keep it down.”
oh, god, you thought, as you attempted to bury yourself in your napkin. if only i could crawl under the bar and hide forever.
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normally, you wouldn’t wake up with “dancing queen” stuck in your head, but as you nursed the remnants of a truly terrible hangover, it felt almost... pleasant? the upbeat melody cut through the fog of your brain, and you couldn’t help but hum along, even if the lyrics felt like a cruel reminder of your embarrassing escapades from the night before.
“you can dance, you can jive, having the time of your life...”
wait, why dancing queen of all songs? you squinted at your alarm clock, your heart racing as the memories started flooding back like a poorly written rom-com. oh.
OH.
your eyes widened as you bolted out of bed with a speed that could make an olympic runner blush, frantically throwing on whatever clothes you could find — did you seriously still have a piece of glitter from last night stuck in your hair? gross! but no time for a shower; you had a meeting to get to at gojo-sonic, and you were about to meet — erm, remeet — toji fushiguro.
“ooh, see that girl, watch that scene, digging the dancing queen...”
as the lyrics blared in your head like an incessant movie soundtrack, you dashed out the door, praying you’d catch a cab in time. the universe couldn’t possibly let you walk into this meeting looking like a hot mess — especially when your main character's voice was waiting on the other side.
“you’re a tease you turn ‘em on…leave ‘em burning and then you’re gone…”
you rolled your eyes at your own ridiculousness. who cared if you’d practically thrown up on the guy? all you had to do was survive your own personal dance-off with fate and hope toji didn’t remember the lovely little details from last night.
you took a deep breath, determined to channel all the confidence you could muster. today was going to be great. right?
as you walked into the meeting room, gojo practically huffed an air of relief. you couldn’t help but think it was a little dramatic — like, it’s just a meeting. you took a deep breath, trying to shake off the last remnants of your hangover and the lingering embarrassment of last night’s vomit-venture.
the room was brightly lit, filled with a few familiar faces, including toji, who was leaning casually against a table with that annoyingly charming grin plastered on his face. 
great. you’d somehow forgotten just how hot he was in the light of day. 
toji’s presence made your stomach flutter and flip, but you shoved that feeling down — this was business, after all.
you scanned the room and spotted gojo-sonic’s most valued investor suguru geto on a screen in the corner, his hair tied back and eyes sharp as he joined the meeting online. wow, great first impression! with a sudden wave of panic, you could almost hear the dancing queen lyrics mocking you in the back of your mind. what’s next, bursting into song?
“hey, look who finally made it!” toji said, amusement dancing in his eyes. perfect. if he was going to make light of your grand entrance, you had to think fast to steer the conversation away from the disaster that was last night.
“sorry for keeping you all waiting,” you replied, forcing a smile that hopefully didn’t look too forced. “i had... a crazy night.”
toji raised an eyebrow, an amused smirk tugging at his lips. “crazy night, huh? did you bring us any stories?”
you shot him a warning glance, your heart racing as you internally pleaded with him not to say anything that could ruin your career. thankfully, he just chuckled, crossing his arms and leaning back, letting the moment hang in the air without any revealing comments.
“i think we’d all like to hear that,” suguru said, his tone teasing as he adjusted the camera. “but let’s save the fun stuff for later, right? we’ve got work to do.”
you nodded, grateful for suguru’s timely intervention. “yes, absolutely! so, uh, about the voice work —”
the atmosphere shifted as the others exchanged knowing glances, and you knew you’d have to tread carefully. this meeting was crucial, and you couldn’t let last night’s incident derail everything you’d worked for. with any luck, maybe you could just keep your foot out of your mouth for the rest of the meeting.
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toji always knew he was hot.
i mean, how could he not? 
with a jawline that could slice bread and a smirk that could charm the pants off anyone, confidence practically dripped off him like a cologne commercial. but the real question was: how to channel this hotness and turn it into something lucrative? great question! 
being a single dad to wasn’t easy, and running from odd job to odd job just to scrape enough money for the brat’s school was proving to be tiresome. until one day, a certain gojo satoru decided to drop a bombshell on him.
“toji, you ever think about using that voice of yours for something... more creative?” gojo asked, leaning back in his office chair, a devilish grin spreading across his face.
“creative? what, like narrating my life as a sad single dad?” toji replied dryly, rolling his eyes. “because let me tell you, it’s not exactly a page-turner.”
“no, no, hear me out!” gojo insisted, practically bouncing in his seat. “i’m talking about voice acting — specifically, erotic audiobooks. it’s the next big thing!”
toji blinked, momentarily stunned. “you mean to tell me that the former bouncer at an elite club would be voicing erotic audiobooks? saying those weird, cringey lines that women seem to love? you’re insane.”
“think about it! you have the looks, the voice, and the whole mysterious vibe down pat,” gojo urged, waving his hands dramatically. “besides, you need the cash, and i need someone to bring a little... heat to my company.”
“you really think people want to hear me read lines like, ‘take me, you wild beast?’” toji quipped, snorting.
fast forward to his first recording session, where everything seemed to be going smoothly until disaster struck. toji was deep in character, delivering his best sexy voice when — bam! — the bathroom pipe exploded in his tiny flat.
“oh god, yes, just like that —” he started, voice dripping with sultry charm, when suddenly, a muffled splash! interrupted him, followed by megumi’s wail from the other room.
“dad! there’s water everywhere!”
toji cursed under his breath, trying to maintain his composure. “i’m coming! just... give me a second, i’m — ah, it’s getting so hot in here!” he struggled to continue, desperately trying to block out the chaos around him while the sounds of the pipe gushing water filled the audio.
but it turned out hormones took over the technical difficulties, because when the snippet was finally released, women and men of all ages were devouring it like it was the last slice of pizza at a party. it even went viral on tiktok, with cringe-worthy wannabes trying to recreate his sultry lines, failing miserably while toji sat back, amused.
“really? you think you can pull this off?” he chuckled to himself, watching one kid awkwardly mimic him. “nice try, kid. but good luck sounding this good while your mom’s screaming at you for hogging the bathroom.”
because toji wasn’t just a househusband — house father — anymore. he was a household name, and everyone knew him. his rise to fame was a wild ride, but hey, at least now he could afford to get the bathroom fixed — one line at a time.
he could hardly wrap his head around how he’d managed to move out of his tiny, crumbling apartment and into a much better place for him and megumi. it was like waking up one day and realizing he’d accidentally won the lottery. “wait, how did i end up here?” he’d mutter to himself, staring at the pristine walls and polished floors. “and how the hell can i pay megumi’s school fees on time without dodging dirty glares from the accounts office?”
he’d walk into the school, head held high, while megumi proudly puffed out his eight-year-old chest. “my daddy’s an actor!” he’d announce to anyone who would listen. toji couldn’t help but feel a swell of pride. i mean, the kid wasn’t wrong. he was acting — acting like he had his life together, at least!
but did his new job stop toji from being a little hoe? oh, hell no. 
if anything, the fame went straight to his head — both up and down there, mind you. toji was like a kid in a candy store, and he was using his newfound charm to siphon money from literally every sugar mommy he could find. 
and daddies, too, if he was feeling daring. 
because people would die to be known as someone “close” to the toji fushiguro.
“oh my god, is that him?” a passerby would whisper, nudging her friend as they walked past toji at a private event.
“i think it is! i heard he’s dating someone famous,” her friend would respond, leaning in as if they were sharing a juicy secret. “i’ve seen him at that new club downtown. he’s just so... magnetic.”
“totally! i mean, if i could get him to call me ‘sweetheart’ just once, i’d die a happy woman,” the first friend would say, fluttering her eyelashes dramatically.
toji would smirk to himself, sipping his drink while casually overhearing their chatter. “yep, you’re right. i’m as available as a 24/7 convenience store,” he’d think, reveling in the attention. "i could probably charm the pants off a rock if i tried."
another group of giggling fans would walk by, whispering amongst themselves, “i met him at that charity event last week! he was so sweet! like, did you see the way he talked to everyone? he’s definitely a heartthrob.”
“sweet? you mean hot, right?” one of them would tease, and they’d all burst into laughter.
“please, if he looked at me, i’d die!” another would declare, all starry-eyed.
toji’s smirk widened. “keep it coming, ladies. i’m just here for the show.” he couldn’t deny it; being the center of attention was intoxicating, and he was loving every second of it.
with a wink and a little wave, he’d keep strutting through life like a runway model, knowing full well he had the power to turn heads and keep wallets open. “who knew being a hot voice actor could be this fun?”
great that you’d ask what toji did with all that sweet, sweet cash! save it all for his brat of a son, of course, even if he wouldn’t admit it. beneath that rugged exterior and playful swagger, he had a soft spot for the little sucker.
just the other week, megumi had been rambling on about wanting a really cool new video game console. “but daddy, alllll my friends have one! it’s so unfair!” he’d whined, big blue eyes practically shimmering with hope. toji had rolled his eyes, trying to act tough, but the moment he saw the kid's face, his heart melted like butter on a hot skillet. “fine, but only if you promise to finish your homework first.”
the next day, megumi had unwrapped a brand-new console, complete with all the latest games, and toji had basked in the sheer delight radiating from his son. “this is the best day ever!” megumi had screamed, wrapping his arms around toji’s waist. “thank you, daddy!”
toji grinned like an idiot, pretending to be unimpressed. “yeah, yeah, don’t go losing it on the first day, alright? and remember, no playing after eight!” he was basically a walking contradiction: a grumpy dad who secretly loved being the cool parent.
then there was that time megumi had been obsessed with this rare action figure from his favorite show. toji had seen the way his son’s eyes lit up every time he spotted it in a store, but it was always sold out. so, naturally, when toji found one online at a steep price, he didn’t hesitate. “i’ll just skip my overpriced rum for a week. totally worth it.”
when megumi had opened the package, he’d literally jumped in the air, screeching like a siren. “no way! you got it for me!?” and toji had played it cool, shrugging his shoulders. “what can i say? your dad’s a generous guy.”
of course, this indulgence didn’t go unnoticed by gojo satoru. the six eyes — er, eyes! — of the man always seemed to be on toji, especially when he noticed his friend was splurging just a little too much on himself — like that new leather jacket that looked ridiculously good on him. 
“i need a jacket like that,” gojo had muttered to himself, glancing at his own wardrobe with disappointment.
whenever toji treated himself, gojo would quietly slide a check over to him, nonchalantly muttering, “just a little something for megumi’s school expenses.”
some people would have viewed it as offensive or patronizing, but not toji. he’d always laughed it off, feeling grateful instead. in his mind, gojo was like a guardian angel — “if guardian angels wore sunglasses and had a taste for expensive sweets.” he saw it as gojo looking out for megumi, which made toji’s heart swell with warmth. “who else would want to help raise my kid? might as well accept it.”
“just don’t make a habit of it, alright?” toji would say with a teasing grin. “i don’t need you spoiling him more than i do.”
“too late,” gojo would quip, already plotting ways to sneak more gifts into megumi’s life. “it’s my new hobby.”
so, when gojo casually dropped the bomb that toji would be voicing one of the hottest, trending smut book — “mating with the demon king” or something equally ridiculous — toji shrugged it off. “simple enough job,” he thought. “and it must be good if they came to me for it.”
but when gojo suggested he read the book to get an idea of the material — “just a little prep work,” he’d said with that infuriatingly charming grin — things took a wild turn.
big mistake, toji would later reflect as he flipped through the pages, his eyebrows shooting up higher than a roller coaster. “who writes this stuff?” he muttered, half-laughing at the sheer absurdity of it all.
the content was downright depraved. there were scenes that had him questioning his entire existence. 
“‘he thrust into her like a man possessed, each stroke igniting a fire within her’ — what even is that?” he read aloud, only to burst out laughing at the ridiculousness. megumi, playing quietly in the other room, wondered why his daddy was cackling like a madman.
“uh, daddy? why are you reading that out loud?” megumi had peeked in, eyes wide with curiosity. toji quickly scrambled to shut the book. “uh, just… learning about, uh, cooking techniques!” he stammered, trying to play it cool. “you wouldn’t get it, buddy.”
but the laughter continued to bubble out of him, and he couldn’t help but read some of the more ludicrous lines. “‘his lips found her collarbone, trailing heat like a wildfire’ — who even talks like that?” he shook his head, utterly bemused.
by the end of the chapter, he was howling. “‘she gasped as he swept her off her feet and into a world of ecstasy’ — oh please!” toji chortled, clutching his stomach, imagining how this would all sound through a microphone. “my kid is gonna think i’ve lost my goddamn mind.”
but hey, if this job was going to pay the bills, he figured he could endure a little humiliation. “it’s all in a day’s work, right?” he muttered to himself, finally accepting that he was now the voice of “mating with the demon king.”
all that reading really took its toll on toji — physically, mentally, spiritually even. after hours spent tripping over lines like “pressed against the throbbing heat of his desire” (yeah, that one took five tries to get through without laughing), he needed to clear his head. so, he found himself at a bar, halfway through a drink, hoping to numb the embarrassment he’d just endured in the name of rent money.
then stumbles this stranger — a cute, very tipsy stranger who quickly parked herself right next to him and started chatting him up, wide-eyed and slightly unsteady. great, drunk people, he thought, resisting an eyeroll as she grinned at him, looking ready to either start a fight or profess her love. 
maybe both.
of course, what are the odds she’d go ahead and throw up on his shoes? yes, his brand-new shoes, because, apparently, the universe had decided that tonight, toji fushiguro would be the world’s personal punching bag. “can’t even get through one drink without some shit happening,” he muttered to himself as she looked up at him with a horrified expression. “we’re off to a great start here, huh?”
after some water and some awkward apologies (mostly her apologizing, mostly him trying not to laugh), they fell into surprisingly decent conversation. she was rambling about her job, the stress, the weird demands — stuff he could sympathize with, honestly. 
and that’s when he dropped it, just for fun: “i’m a voice actor.”
her eyes sparkled with recognition — a little too much recognition, actually, which made him narrow his eyes. “wait, what’s your name?” she asked, suddenly all ears.
“toji. toji fushiguro.”
the second he said it, her face went from curious to horrified to... oh yeah, she knew exactly who he was. “wait,” she gasped, putting her hand over her mouth. “you’re... you’re the voice actor for my book.”
toji raised an eyebrow, deadpan. 
so this was the writer, the one who wrote all that nonsense he’d been struggling through for days. well, wasn’t that just the cherry on top. not only was this his boss but also the very person responsible for phrases like “pulsing need” and “moans spilling like honey.” and she’d just puked on him. 
talk about a power move.
“small world,” he said, his tone dry as desert sand. wonderful, he thought. my boss threw up on me. but, hey, the night was still young. 
he took a long sip from his drink, hoping she wouldn’t take this as an excuse to unleash some kind of creative critique.
“i... i didn’t know you’d be here,” she stammered, a shade redder than before, probably realizing what this made her look like — her, the lady behind the “throbbing heat of desire” shtick.
“don’t worry,” he said, giving her a smirk. “i won’t tell anyone the literary mastermind responsible for all that... romance has a weak stomach.”
you probably don’t remember much after you composed yourself following that second round of projectile embarrassment — but don’t worry, toji remembers. the man’s got a steel trap for the kinds of memories you’d prefer stayed buried. once he’d figured out that you weren’t exactly in shape to be left wandering around, he made the executive decision to get you home. yeah, he’d just met you a couple hours ago, but somehow, through the boozy haze and questionable life choices, he’d managed to catch your address. 
impressive detective work, really… or, well, you may have blurted it out mid-ramble about how “the streetlight outside is the only thing lighting up your lonely hallway.” 
a touch dramatic, but, hey, it worked.
so he got you back to your place (no thanks to the cab driver’s judgmental side-eye), got you up the stairs without you faceplanting, and, after propping you up long enough to unlock your door, he even went the extra mile and tucked you under the covers. you, meanwhile, mumbled something about “tequila being the devil,” blissfully oblivious to the poor guy who’d just witnessed more of your personal life than your closest friends. toji took one last look before heading out, chuckling to himself as you drifted off, probably already dreaming of whatever literary nonsense you’d be writing next.
but what really stuck with him? the damn “dancing queen” chorus ringing in his ears from the bar. maybe it was still playing somewhere out there in the night, or maybe you’d just cursed him with it. because as he walked home, hands shoved in his pockets, there it was, looping over and over in his head. 
“you can dance… you can jive…” 
great, now he’d be humming it for days.
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both you and toji were snapped back into the fluorescent-lit reality of the conference room, where gojo was still going on about… royalties? percentages? to be honest, the entire spiel sounded more like corporate white noise to you. 
toji, on the other hand, was leaning back in his chair, looking as disinterested as humanly possible without actually falling asleep. across the screen, suguru appeared in one of those stiff, all-business modes, nodding along to gojo’s speech. his eyes had that telltale sparkle that only appeared when money was the topic — “stakeholder perks,” as gojo would call it, though it just meant suguru got to rake in extra cash on the side.
“and once the audiobook’s live, the split from the sales will be recalculated quarterly, yadda yadda, yadaaa —” gojo’s voice broke into a sing-song, clearly amusing only himself. “anyway, you guys will see some real sweet checks from this.”
“royalties…” suguru interjected, a bit too smoothly, “remind me what those projected percentages were again, satoru?”
toji suppressed a snort. here they were, with the man himself who could barely be bothered to read a weather report straight, much less your raunchy magnum opus. good luck explaining earnings, gojo.
“oh yeah, royalties!” gojo cleared his throat, launching into a number-laden monologue that seemed to somehow both explain everything and nothing at once. toji barely listened, glancing at the digital clock on the wall. it was only when gojo pivoted, with a suddenly very pointed look, that toji actually tuned back in.
“so, did everyone do their, ah, homework?” gojo grinned as his gaze swept across the room, his eyes landing on you with a bit too much knowing amusement. “read the… material?”
you shuffled uncomfortably in your seat, and every other voice actor in the room suddenly found the table, the wall, or their own shoes very interesting.
all except toji, of course, who stretched back with the most obnoxious smirk you’d seen yet.
“homework?” he drawled, deadpan as always. “yeah, got right into it. wouldn’t want to miss a single word of that… fine literature.”
a few of the others exchanged awkward looks, clearly unsure how to respond to the dead-serious way toji said fine literature without a shred of irony. meanwhile, you shrank a little in your seat, not exactly loving the fact that the guy you threw up on was apparently the one voice actor who actually read your work cover-to-cover. not to mention, this was toji fushiguro, the voice actor who’d taken the world by storm with a single, leaked snippet. you'd heard your fans say that he was some kind of god-tier talent — practically a household name. and now? 
he was casually staring you down like he'd just read your diary.
“it’s… it’s not that bad,” you muttered defensively, feeling a prickling heat rise up your neck.
toji raised an eyebrow, clearly enjoying himself. “oh, didn’t say it was bad. just, uh… thorough.”
you felt the blush intensify, but before you could reply, gojo jumped back in, undeterred. “great! since everyone’s read it now, we’ll dive into scene breakdowns tomorrow, with input from our illustrious author here.” he winked at you in that annoyingly playful way of his, as if he’d just orchestrated the whole thing for kicks. “it’s all about bringing your vision to life, yeah?”
“looking forward to it.” toji’s tone was smooth, with just enough emphasis to hint at the mischief lying behind his calm expression. you could swear there was a glimmer of challenge in his eyes, and the fact that he’d actually read the book — a book that you wrote in a creative haze, no less — was beginning to feel less like a weird coincidence and more like some cosmic joke at your expense.
suguru’s voice broke through, “and let’s hope that translates to success, right, gojo? my dividends would certainly appreciate it.”
“oh, don’t you worry, sugu bear.” gojo leaned in with that shark-like grin of his. “with toji voicing this masterpiece, and the author right here to guide us? we’re printing money already.”
with a dramatic flourish, gojo clapped his hands together, instantly breaking the tension. “alright, dismissed! snacks are out front — help yourselves, or not! more for me, after all,” he added, a mischievous glint in his eye as he clearly envisioned his sugary hoard.
suguru took this moment as his graceful exit cue, giving a short nod before the screen blinked off. gojo sighed theatrically, clasping his chest. “oh, suguru, leaving so soon? you wound me! who’s going to discuss ‘dividends’ and ‘royalties’ with me now?”
nobody had the heart — or possibly the patience — to answer that question, which suited gojo just fine as he spun on his heel, making his way toward the snack table. 
you, meanwhile, considered vanishing altogether, at least until the next segment of the day when you’d actually need to make yourself useful. judging by the energy in the room, none of the other voice actors were in a rush to strike up a conversation with you. 
ouch. apparently, being the creator of their next project wasn’t that much of a social asset.
you edged toward the door, already halfway to freedom when, like clockwork, a deep, familiar voice stopped you in your tracks. “leaving so soon?”
you didn’t even have to turn around to know who it was. obnoxious didn’t even cover half of it. “just… thought i’d give you guys a break from me,” you muttered, gripping the strap of your bag tighter, hoping it looked casual instead of like an attempt to bolt.
toji’s laugh was low, almost teasing. “a break? i don’t mind the company. in fact, i think the others are just shy.” his words were smooth, but there was a mischievous lilt to them, like he was very aware of just how uncomfortable you probably were.
“right,” you deadpanned, summoning every ounce of sarcasm you had left. “they’re all just shy.”
he chuckled, falling into step beside you as you made your way to the snack table. gojo was already there, unabashedly sampling a tray of tiny cupcakes. he shot you both a grin that was, in all honesty, more threatening than friendly. 
oh god, why is he looking at us like that?
“so!” gojo swiped another cupcake, leaning back against the table as he took in you and toji with an almost too-pleased expression. “getting along, are we? i mean, it’s not every day you get to work so closely with the voice behind your book, right?” he wiggled his eyebrows suggestively, as if trying to ignite some sort of spark just to make things interesting.
toji, unbothered as ever, shrugged. “she already threw up on me. might as well be friends after that, huh?”
oh my god. 
you felt the flush rise to your face instantly, a mix of embarrassment and horror. he did not just bring that up in front of gojo, of all people.
“aww, how cute!” gojo crooned, looking absolutely delighted as he clapped his hands in that overly-enthusiastic, not-at-all sincere way. “bonding over bodily fluids. you guys are practically soulmates!”
“please, kill me now,” you muttered under your breath, glaring at the snack table like it might provide an escape hatch.
toji leaned in, voice dropping to a near whisper, and you could practically hear the smirk in his tone. “don’t worry, author. i’ve seen worse.”
“great, that’s… comforting,” you muttered, resisting the urge to roll your eyes as you grabbed a snack at random. at this point, you were ready to make a quick exit, potentially before the day’s work even started if it meant escaping this scene.
“now, don’t run off too fast,” gojo added, wagging a finger at you with a sly grin. “i’m expecting all of us back here in an hour, nice and energized. don’t want any excuses!”
toji shot you one last look, equal parts teasing and unreadable, before he turned to grab a coffee. “guess you’re stuck with me for a little longer,” he murmured, a faint glimmer of humor in his eyes.
wonderful. absolutely wonderful. well, at least there’s cupcakes.
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it’s only five minutes into the recording session, and you’re already wondering if there’s a job market for earth-burrowing positions. if there is, you’d gladly take it. anything would be better than this…circus.
the sound booth is packed with voice actors delivering line after line of your book’s carefully crafted (painfully cheesy) smutty dialogue. you bite your lip, both cringing and resisting the urge to laugh out loud as one of the actors, a slender guy with an unfortunate tendency to over-dramatize every vowel, reads his line with a tragic sigh.
“i can’t help it… i just want to devour you.”
devour you? you want to throw yourself into the nearest trash can. before you can stop yourself, you lean forward into the mic, managing a half-apologetic, half-pleading tone. “uh, could you maybe… ease up on the ‘devour’ part? like, less dramatic, more… suave?”
he nods seriously, doing a quick vocal warm-up before trying again. “i can’t help it… i just want to devoooour—”
“nope! nope, nope, nope!” you blurt, a little louder than you intended, the cringe spiraling out of control. you quickly clear your throat, trying to sound as professional as possible. “let’s, uh, maybe just skip to the next line.”
from the corner of the room, you catch sight of gojo, who’s grinning so widely you’re genuinely concerned his face might stay that way forever. he’s watching you with an infectious enthusiasm that’s bordering on manic, his eyes practically sparkling with amusement. you’re half-expecting him to yell, “surprise! this is an snl skit!”
you rub at your temple, wishing the earth would do you a solid and open up beneath you, while the next actor — a petite, sweet-looking woman who’s visibly uncomfortable — takes her turn. she clears her throat, looking down at her script, and delivers the line in a barely-there whisper, “i… i want you to take me… take me as if…”
“um…” you grimace, instantly feeling the heat rise to your face. “maybe a bit louder? but, you know, sensual.”
she blushes, muttering something under her breath before raising her voice, though it’s still trembling. “i… i want you to… take me… as if…”
toji, who’s been watching the whole scene from his seat, chuckles lowly, and his smirk sends a jolt of embarrassment through you. “jeez, author, why don’t you just hop in there and show ’em how it’s done?” he mutters, voice dripping with sarcasm, though it’s not unkind.
you throw him a flat look, biting back an eye roll. not like i wanted to be here, you think to yourself. it’s just that somehow, the universe decided that today you’d be responsible for turning lines you’d never want to say out loud into something even remotely palatable.
and it only gets worse. 
another actor — a deep-voiced, well-meaning guy in his mid-40s — leans into his mic and reads out, in a gruff voice you can only describe as a rejected batman impersonation: “you’re driving me… wild.” his tone is so intense it’s like he’s threatening to fight the listener in a parking lot.
“okay… we might want to dial it back a little,” you say carefully, hoping to mask your horror with politeness. “just… a little less ‘supervillain,’ more… warm?”
you hear toji chuckle behind you, low and rumbling, clearly reveling in your suffering. and as you glance over your shoulder, you find gojo, once again, looking like this is the best entertainment he’s had in years. 
at this point, he might actually cry from laughing.
just when you think it can’t get any worse, toji stands, giving you a wink as he heads into the booth for his turn. he takes the mic, his face blank and unreadable as he starts reading the next line.
“i need you… right now,” he purrs, his voice oozing that lazy, sensual charm you’d envisioned for this character. it’s… almost unfair, really. 
there’s not an ounce of irony or overacting. 
toji’s delivery is so smooth, so confident, that it catches you off guard, a flush rising to your cheeks.
gojo lets out a low whistle, giving you a teasing look as if to say, see? was that so hard?
“finally,” you mutter under your breath, swallowing the lump in your throat. gojo raises a brow, clearly enjoying every second of your awkwardness.
you sigh, mentally bracing yourself for the rest of the recording. if nothing else, at least one actor seems to have nailed the tone — much to your embarrassment and gojo’s endless delight.
you clear your throat, attempting to regain some semblance of control over the recording session, which is proving to be harder than herding a pack of caffeinated cats. “right, everyone, let’s, uh, keep moving and go ahead with recording the dragon king’s lines. toji, if you’re ready?”
but you barely finish your sentence before gojo claps toji on the shoulder with that all-too-annoying bromance energy, grinning from ear to ear. “our star is ready, aren’t ya, toji? i mean, look at this guy! look at him! can’t believe i found this gem for gojo-sonic!” gojo’s voice carries that infuriatingly proud tone that practically drips with smug satisfaction.
you stifle an eye roll, and even the other actors exchange glances, half-annoyed, half-amused at gojo’s over-the-top fawning. but before you can jump in to cut gojo off, toji just smirks, sliding comfortably into the mic like he was born to deliver cheesy lines.
“alright, alright,” you murmur, mostly to yourself. “let’s see what you’ve got, mr. dragon king.”
toji adjusts the headphones, his lazy smirk already primed. 
and then he begins, voice low and sultry, hitting each cringe-worthy word with the same ridiculous gravitas that has the whole room mesmerized.
“i have waited eons for a beauty like yours to grace my realm. come… be mine, and together we shall rule the heavens.”
you can practically feel everyone holding their breath, transfixed by the sheer sincerity in his tone, despite the line’s absurdity. you, too, can’t help but feel a blush creeping up your neck, which is just unfair given you wrote these lines. 
you knew what they were meant to sound like, but this? 
he’s delivering them like they’re damn poetry.
toji doesn’t stop there, though, his deep voice carrying each line as though he’s serenading the mic. “my heart burns with a fire only you can soothe. take my hand, and i swear to guard your heart with my very life.”
gojo is practically fawning, batting his eyelashes like a proud parent in the corner. “see, people, this is how it’s done! let the dragon king here show you amateurs how it’s really supposed to sound!”
you resist the urge to chuck something at gojo as the other actors’ eyes widen, watching in awe.
one of them mutters under their breath, “no way we’re topping that.”
and then, toji’s voice dips even lower, the next line coming out in a growl that somehow manages to be both dramatic and, disturbingly, kind of… enchanting.
“you are the breath in my lungs, the flame in my veins. without you, i am but a shadow… a beast in the dark.”
the room is dead silent. 
you’re all fawning, gushing messes, and you’re not even sure how it happened. it’s like toji’s somehow turned this trial recording into an absurdly hot moment. you can barely believe you’re hearing the same lines you once labeled “ridiculously cringey” in the draft.
finally, he leans back, looking pleased with himself, as if he hadn’t just left everyone a little breathless. gojo practically beams with pride, nudging you. 
“so… i think you’ve found your dragon king, wouldn’t you say?”
you nod, still stunned, half in disbelief, half in begrudging admiration. if this was just the trial recording, you could only imagine how many blushing, starry-eyed listeners this final audiobook was going to leave in its wake.
the moment the trial recording session wraps up, gojo is the first one on his feet, clapping his hands like he's just watched the performance of a lifetime. “brilliant!” he practically shouts, pulling out his phone faster than you can blink. “suguru needs to hear this,” he mutters, already dialing his business partner like a kid who can’t wait to brag about his latest toy.
sometimes you really do forget that gojo is the ceo of a multi-million dollar company — an erotic audiobook company, no less. 
is he this passionate about the art, or is it just the money? either way, watching him fanboy over his own employee leaves you a mix of amused and exhausted.
there’s a charm to it, though, even if it’s a little baffling to witness in real time.
as the energy in the studio starts to mellow, you find yourself actually breathing a bit easier. for once, things seem to be going smoothly. 
maybe this whole collaboration wouldn’t be a disaster after all. 
you let yourself relax, even if a small part of your brain chides you with a quick reminder: next time, skip the cheap caffeine fix when you’re pulling an all-nighter writing smut. 
or… cheap anything, really. 
yeah, you don’t actually smoke, you remind yourself — except, well, that one time in college, but hey, that was a whole different you. one that should stay buried in the relics of questionable decisions, right next to your spiral-bound notes of embarrassingly bad poetry.
just as you’re praying to the universe that this is all going to wrap up without any extra drama, you hear it. the sound that’s become both your nightmare and… okay, maybe, a little less than that.
“well, princess,” toji’s voice rumbles, his tone as amused as it is teasing, “got anything else you want from your dragon king?”
you close your eyes and will the ground to open up beneath you, but nope, nothing. 
nothing but the sound of your heartbeat doing an awkward little tango in your chest.
of course he’d pick now to resurrect that ridiculous moniker from last night. like it wasn’t humiliating enough when he threw it out there while you were a couple drinks deep and all but glued to your seat at the bar. 
oh, you’re practically begging the universe to put you out of your misery — well, actually, now that you think about it, maybe being wrapped up in those beefy arms wouldn’t be the worst fate…
wow. get a grip, girl. this is the caffeine deprivation talking. 
definitely that.
but then toji smirks at you, an eyebrow raised, as if he’s just dared you to respond. and all you can think is… oh, lord, this man is trouble.
"c’mon, just a drink,” toji insists, flashing that devil-may-care grin that both ruins and improves your day within a matter of seconds. he’s leaning back like he’s got all the time in the world, casually ignoring how you definitely don’t. 
“trust me, princess, it’ll settle your nerves.”
it’s not like you need a reminder of the mess that was last night. every foggy memory swirls in your head, like life’s own cruel version of a mocktail — one garnished with shame, regret, and a generous helping of last night’s tequila. 
if anything, adding more drinks to this equation feels about as smart as walking blindfolded into traffic.
but toji’s already up, stretching like he’s completely unaware of the chaotic memories this whole “outing” is summoning. “just a quick look around gojo-sonic, yeah?” he says, nodding toward the maze of hallways beyond the studio door, his face the perfect picture of innocence.
“you’re new here, and it’s… important to know the lay of the land. work reasons.”
you can practically hear the quotation marks around that “work reasons.”
“you know,” he adds with a wink, “never hurts to see where the magic happens.”
yeah, right. you have a feeling the only magic here is him somehow dragging you deeper into your personal nightmare.
you don’t even get the chance to respond with a yes, no, or a “maybe next century” when toji’s phone lights up and his whole expression darkens. not exactly the look you expect from the guy whose voice practically ruined half the internet last month with that infamous line about... well, yeah, better not go there right now.
“satoru, the brat got into a fight,” he growls into the phone, and suddenly, satoru’s jaw hits the floor with such force you can practically hear it from across the studio. toji doesn’t stick around for a reply, though — he’s already striding toward the door like a man with a purpose, ignoring satoru’s spluttered, “the what did who?”
and somehow — god knows how — you find yourself tagging along like it’s the most natural thing in the world. maybe it’s curiosity, maybe it’s the thrill of seeing toji in full boss mode, or maybe it’s just because, oh, y’know, “responsible adult and responsibilities” instincts or whatever. 
but the further you walk, the more you realize that toji doesn’t mind you following one bit. in fact, he’s practically matching his pace to yours, as if you’re part of some unofficial escort mission to... whoever this “brat” is.
which, speaking of, who the hell is megumi?
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you’re still trying to wrap your head around how this was supposed to be a “quick tour” of the office and not, somehow, an impromptu escort mission to the world’s sleekest car, a porsche 911 turbo — yep, that’s right, the kind of car you’ve only ever seen in movies where the bad guy’s got a mysterious, sexy side. all you can manage is, “you own this?”
toji shrugs, slipping his keys into the ignition with an air of pure, unbothered cool. “you don’t?”
oh. okay. 
you barely have time to process this response before he’s peeling out of the parking lot, narrowly avoiding a stray cat, a snail-paced truck, and an old lady who’s almost sacrificed her wig to his driving style. but hey, all part of the thrill, right?
definitely not questioning life choices here.
by the time you pull up to a cutesy primary school — you know, the kind with pastel-colored gates and cartoon murals of bears and rabbits — you’re genuinely confused. 
toji seems like the last guy who’d be here unless it was some undercover op. and “megumi,” whoever he is, sounds like he could be the school’s playground menace.
“wait, this is where we’re headed?” you ask, eyeing the building like it might suddenly make sense.
but toji’s out of the car, moving so fast you practically have to jog to keep up. the school secretary gives you both a wary glance, likely sensing the storm of exasperation radiating off toji, as he strides straight into the principal’s office. there, sitting on a chair with his arms crossed and an unimpressed scowl that screams “mini-toji,” is a little boy with spiky hair and an air of quiet defiance.
without missing a beat, toji asks, “megs! did you win?”
the principal, a kindly-looking woman whose expression is rapidly shifting from “calm mediator” to “i don’t get paid enough for this,” clears her throat. 
“mr. fushiguro, your son wasn’t... in the wrong, per se. it appears he was, um, defending his honor.”
defending his honor? you blink. what kind of second grader even knows what that means?
“that true, ‘gumi?” toji says, arms crossed, looking every bit the unbothered, proud dad of the year.
“he said my dad was a... weird voice actor,” megumi mutters, then shrugs. “so i said at least my dad works.”
you nearly choke, partly from stifled laughter, partly from the sheer absurdity of all this. here you were, thinking “honor” meant, like, taking down a playground empire or something. 
but no, megumi’s just a kid with a sharp tongue and a little too much of toji’s attitude.
“damn right, kid,” toji says, patting megumi’s head, then looking over at you with that familiar, annoyingly smug grin. “raised him right, yeah?”
“...sure,” you say, because what else can you even say at this point? it’s like you’ve stumbled into the weirdest sitcom ever, and the laugh track is somehow missing.
the principal’s expression morphs into something almost painfully polite as she addresses you, tiptoeing around the word wife with an impressive mix of caution and curiosity. 
“are you, ah... megumi’s guardian?”
and then, in perfect, unplanned harmony, you, toji, and megumi all blurt out, “no.”
the unity, the instinctual synchronization — it’s like you’re all on the same wavelength, for better or worse. soul-level understanding, or something. 
what the hell is happening right now?
with a polite smile and a “let’s never speak of this again” nod, you three finally leave the principal’s office. megumi, looking more bored than reprimanded, flicks at a speck of lint on his uniform, while you and toji attempt to navigate the hallway swarming with concerned teachers and worried front-desk ladies. and by “concerned” and “worried,” it’s more like they’re curious about toji’s parenting style and, let’s be honest, probably toji himself.
“oh, mr. fushiguro!” one particularly invested teacher coos, “we heard about the incident. is everything all right?”
toji, of course, laps up the attention, chuckling low and throwing in a wink here and there like he’s starring in some kind of action-movie dad role. the ladies are practically falling over themselves to get a response from him, their questions barely veiled as they assess you with raised brows and sideways glances, a classic “who’s she?” written all over their faces.
“and you are...?” one of the front-desk ladies finally asks, voice all sugar-coated and sharp.
toji slides in smoothly, cutting off whatever half-formed, awkward introduction you were about to stammer out. “oh, she’s a colleague,” he says, his tone effortlessly suave, like introducing a perfectly respectable coworker and totally not the author of his last, extremely explicit audiobook project.
you’re almost grateful until it hits you — this is the same guy who made a whole production of calling you “princess” in the recording booth just yesterday. 
as if he hasn’t played one of your absurdly corny dragon kings in all his full-throttle intensity. 
and now he’s here, all casual and cool, giving you a proper, respectable title like he hasn’t spent hours voicing content these people probably keep hidden under their pillows at night.
but at least he didn’t out you as the actual author of those… creative pieces. 
that’s something.
toji is out here, doing his social service to society. and no, it’s not about lending his voice to steamy audiobooks, thank you very much. 
today, he’s serving the community by providing these teachers with a generous five minutes of his attention, which they’ll probably be replaying in their heads until the next parent-teacher meeting. and — oh, what a surprise! — that’s exactly what they’re talking about now, circling back to how he must come to the next one for a “serious discussion” about megumi.
toji’s stance? why bother? if the kid’s acing his tests, staying out of trouble (mostly), and keeping a lid on the whole “honor” thing, why does he need to sit through hours of polite lecturing from the pta?
while he’s busy justifying his lack of parental enthusiasm, you feel a pair of eyes on you. glancing down, you meet megumi’s steady, curious stare. 
it’s oddly intense for a kid his age, but you’re not one to back down from a challenge. you narrow your eyes, feigning a critical, assessing look, and he visibly falters, going slightly pink around the ears.
ah, kids.
as you three make your way out of the building — toji still being all socialite with the staff and probably postponing that pta date indefinitely — you suddenly find yourself in a mini interview  with megumi. it’s as if this eight-year-old has appointed himself the gatekeeper of his dad’s life and has decided you’re the latest applicant.
“so… what’s your favorite color?” he asks, with an unblinking, serious stare.
“uh…” you pause, realizing the weight of your answer here. “blue. like, uh, light blue.”
he nods, considering. “good answer.”
a pause. “favorite superhero?”
“batman?” you try, glancing at him for a sign of approval.
“hmm. fine. but iron man would’ve been better.”
noted, you think, as he then moves to cereal brand, favorite animal, and even your preferred subject in school. you navigate each question as best as you can, almost feeling the burn of a final exam.
then, in a moment of quiet, just as you think the quiz is over, megumi looks down and asks, voice barely a whisper, “did i… do the right thing? defending my… my hone-er?”
“your… oh, honor?” you say, a smile twitching at the corner of your mouth as you catch his wide-eyed, earnest gaze.
he nods, cheeks tinting a bit as he scuffs his sneaker on the ground.
“megumi,” you say, kneeling a little to get on his level, “defending your honor is important. just… maybe don’t go for all the punches next time? sometimes words work too.” you give him a playful nudge.
he nods, seeming satisfied with that answer, then glances over his shoulder. “and don’t tell daddy i asked.”
“your secret’s safe with me,” you whisper back, giving him a conspiratorial wink.
toji’s arms were crossed, an unreadable expression on his face as he watched the little interaction between you and megumi. 
he was always careful about the people around his kid, fiercely protective to the point that very few in his line of work even knew megumi existed. the only ones who had ever met him were gojo and geto — and that was already a stretch.
but something about how you handled the kid’s questions, actually entertained them with the same patience he’d usually summon up himself, caught him off guard. the way you knelt down to answer him, even kept a straight face through the hard-hitting topics of favorite superheroes and cereal brands... it was surprisingly nice. 
almost… reassuring?
ugh, what was he even thinking? you were still the same girl who’d written, and he mentally cringed as he remembered the line, 
“dragons may have claws, but they’re nothing compared to the grip i have on your…” 
yeah, yeah, he really didn’t need to finish that thought. the memory alone had him chuckling under his breath, shaking his head.
of course, that earned him a suspicious glance from both you and megumi.
“what’s so funny?” you asked, brow raised.
“yeah, daddy, why’re you laughing?” megumi chimed in, clearly puzzled.
toji waved a hand dismissively, realizing he’d just blown his cool for no reason. 
“nothin’, don’t worry about it. just thinkin’,” he mumbled, aware he’d probably looked a little unhinged just then. 
maybe he really needed to work on his awareness — or maybe he just needed to get a grip, period.
toji’s mind was doing somersaults, genuinely debating if he could manage both you and megumi tagging along for the afternoon. megumi’s insistence didn’t help; kid was determined that toji should keep you both company for the rest of the day, despite having school hours left. 
“you’ve got work, right?” you ask, half-joking, half-serious. “aren’t you supposed to be off doing big, important actor things?”
toji only smirked, whipping out his phone with the sort of confidence that made it clear he had a workaround for everything. he tapped open a message to gojo, fingers moving fast.
you [11:31 am]: hey. kid’s dragging me to the arcade. need a few hours off. gojo s. [11:33 am]: need or WANT, toji? ;)) you [11:31 am]: like i said, KID is dragging me. gojo s. [11:33 am]: oh sure, blame megumi. what, does he have you wrapped around his little finger or something? you [11:31 am]: think whatever you want, but you’re handling my schedule for the rest of the day. gojo s. [11:33 am]: wait, are you with...the AUTHOR? ;)) you [11:31 am]: quit smiling through text, it’s creepy. gojo s. [11:33 am]: i’ll allow it. but only cause i’m such a good friend.  gojo s. [11:33 am]: tell megumi uncle gojo says hi  gojo s. [11:34 am]: and he owes me 20 bucks. you [11:35 am]: he doesn’t owe you anything. gojo s. [11:35 am]: fine, but bring me something from the prize counter.
satisfied, toji pocketed his phone and shrugged. 
“all right, kid. we’ll hang out for a bit. but i swear if you drag me into any embarrassing games —”
“arcade!” megumi interrupted, not even giving him a chance to finish. “i can show you both that i’m the best at every game! daddy taught me how to play, so you better watch out!”
you couldn’t help but chuckle at the kid’s enthusiasm.
“all right, let’s go. but you better not make me look bad, kid,” toji said, smirking down at his son, who was now practically vibrating with eagerness.
“arcade!” megumi yelled again, nearly bouncing as he grabbed your hand and began to lead the way.
megumi barely lets you settle into the leather of the passenger seat before he’s bouncing in the back, practically vibrating with energy as he plugs toji’s phone into the aux. you’re trying to wrap your head around being in toji fushiguro’s car, the man who not only voices the romantic lead in your steamiest, most dramatic book but also owns a luxury car that could probably pay off your loans twice over.
"so, uh... passenger princess, huh?" toji smirks, catching you in mid-thought.
"i… what?" you stammer, feeling the heat creep up as he settles a hand on the wheel with all the nonchalance in the world. “i, uh —” but you’re cut off by megumi excitedly blasting his choice of artist: korn.
"your son listens to korn?" you blurt out, giving toji a mix of awe and disbelief.
toji just raises an eyebrow, deadpanning, “yours doesn’t?”
ouch. okay, fair point. 
because no, you do not have a kid, or a husband, or even a boyfriend…or any romantic prospects, really. 
toji’s question leaves you fidgeting as you try to muster a dignified response.
meanwhile, megumi is full-on screaming to the lyrics of "freak on a leash," and you catch snippets like “something takes a part of me!” which, yeah, relatable — korn is honestly hitting the mood. but of course, toji catches you staring out the window, attempting to look casual as he throws you a side-eye.
"so, what’s got you without a boyfriend?” he asks, way too casually, as if this was a natural segue from whatever korn-fueled karaoke session is happening in the backseat.
you practically choke on air. "what, me? no, i’m...," you laugh awkwardly, shifting in the passenger seat. “besides, i don’t meet many guys. i'm just… you know… doing my thing.”
megumi, pausing his headbanging just for a moment, turns and looks at you with an exaggerated ‘yikes’ face, as if being single was the worst possible fate in his young, eight-year-old eyes. 
but then he shrugs, clearly uninterested in this adult drama and goes back to screaming, “feeling like a freak on a leash!”
toji, still watching you, smirks, “so, doing your ‘thing’ includes no boyfriend, no husband... what, are you just swearing off men?”
"uh, no!” you say quickly, too quickly, and feel your face heat up. “just haven’t... y’know, met anyone worth dating. been busy.”
toji gives a low chuckle, clearly entertained. “busy doing what, writing your ‘torrid love stories’?”
you make a face, biting your lip. 
“they’re not that torrid.” but even as you say it, you hear the echo of a particularly cheesy line you’d written for his character in your novel, which, mortifyingly enough, involved the phrase “my darling flame, you set my very soul alight.”
toji chuckles, as if reading your thoughts. “maybe i’ll get to hear one of those lines in real life someday, princess.”
“can we not call me that while megumi’s in the car?” you mutter, glancing back, only to find megumi fully engrossed in his self-proclaimed vocal talents.
“noted.” toji snickers, shooting you another mischievous look as korn plays on, megumi happily singing about “breaking down” in the back.
“but hey,” toji says smoothly, hand resting on the gearshift, “just so you know, even my son knows a good band when he hears one.”
you roll your eyes at him, managing to mumble, “at least one of you is a bit mature.”
the porsche pulls up to the arcade with enough fanfare that heads start turning even before the engine purrs to a stop. not that the onlookers were ready for what steps out next: a towering, chiseled man looking like he’s on his way to a modeling photoshoot, a cute kid in full confidence mode, and, well… you.
still feeling a little dizzy from the korn concert that just took place, you barely register megumi bolting out of the car with a grin, leaving you and toji to get your bearings. his energy’s practically crackling by the time toji pays for the play card, and you’re pretty sure if he has to wait even one more minute, he’s about to combust.
“okay, okay, slow down, megumi,” you say, trying to keep up as he yanks you to the nearest neon-lit game. 
but the kid isn’t hearing it. he’s already dragging you to one machine, and then the next, moving faster than you can process where you even are. each one is seemingly more intense and blinding than the last, and you’re hit with a sensory overload of neon lights, retro game sounds, and the feel of the arcade carpet sticking just a little too much to your shoes.
toji’s watching the whole ordeal with a bemused smirk. you and his kid are like a whirlwind of neon and laughter, barely stopping to catch your breaths between games. the sight is somehow… comforting. like a scene from a life he hadn’t planned but couldn’t help finding strangely compelling.
but then he catches himself. seriously? 
he shakes his head. this is not the time to get all sentimental over his kid’s new ‘playdate’ or whatever. 
he’s just here because megumi insisted, and maybe he thought it’d be amusing to watch you get dragged around by an eight-year-old with zero restraint. that’s it. 
nothing more.
yeah, right. his internal grumbling comes to an abrupt stop as he watches megumi take your hand and pull you over to a classic claw machine. the kid’s looking up at you with the widest eyes you’ve ever seen, all excitement and pure innocence, like winning one of those knockoff plush toys is the pinnacle of existence.
“you got this?” you ask, grinning at him as he lines up the claw with intense concentration.
“of course! my dad showed me,” he declares, like he’s about to go pro in the claw game league.
toji, watching from a distance, feels a twinge in his chest. 
yeah, he’d shown megumi how to play this game ages ago, more to give him an edge over the other kids than anything else. it was a dad-and-son thing, just the two of them. but seeing megumi look up at you with the same pride and excitement makes him feel… something. 
and he doesn’t know if he likes it.
you’re so focused on megumi’s moves that you don’t notice toji’s slight frown, nor do you hear his quiet mutter of, “this is ridiculous.” 
but when he sees the way your eyes light up as megumi successfully nabs a cheap stuffed animal — a lopsided dinosaur, of all things — and the way you celebrate like he’s won an olympic medal, he feels himself relax, just a little.
he chuckles, shaking his head and crossing his arms as you high-five megumi, both of you beaming over a prize that probably cost less than the game itself. but toji doesn’t move. 
he stands there, rooted, as you two bounce from game to game, his thoughts too jumbled to focus on anything else.
but maybe… maybe that’s okay for now.
toji’s phone buzzes just as he’s leaning against the side of a vintage racing game, watching you and megumi practically lighting up the whole arcade with your laughter. he glances down to see satoru’s name pop up on the screen, already feeling a headache brewing.
gojo s. [12:20 pm]: so, arcade? 😏 you [12:20 pm]: yeah, i just told you. gojo s. [12:20 pm]: nah, i mean WHY the arcade? what are we celebrating here, toji? ;)) you [12:21 pm]: why does it matter gojo s. [12:21 pm]: CUZZZZ gojo s. [12:21 pm]: lemme guess, megumi's there with her now, right?  gojo s. [12:22 pm]: bet they’re having the time of their lives, while YOU gojo s. [12:22 pm]: you’re just there all moody on the sidelines😔
toji glances up at you and megumi, who’ve now moved on to a skee-ball machine, both cheering as you score a perfect 50-point throw.
you [12:23 pm]: like i said, work stuff. gojo s. [12:24 pm]: HAHA. work stuff, right.  gojo s. [12:24 pm]: work stuff that has megumi running around grinning like that.  gojo s. [12:25 pm]: bro gojo s. [12:25 pm]: you’re terrible at lying.  gojo s. [12:26 pm]: she’s a keeper if she can deal with YOU you [12:26 pm]: keep dreaming.
he slips his phone back into his pocket, unable to shake off the grin creeping onto his face as he watches you high-five megumi. the kid’s happier than he’s seen in ages, and he…
well, he can’t remember the last time he felt this relaxed watching anyone just being with his kid.
toji stands back, taking in the moment — megumi’s laughter echoing through the arcade, your smile as you lift him up with an ease that has the kid giggling uncontrollably — and for some reason, his mind has turned the whole scene into a rom-com montage.
you are the dancing queen…
it’s absurd, really. 
he doesn’t even like abba. but there it is, the stupid song playing in his head, all set to the image of you holding his son, twirling him like he weighs nothing, both of you in fits of laughter.
young and sweet, only seventeen…
and for a split second, his heart does this awkward little stutter. 
he chalks it up to the neon lights. 
or maybe the greasy smell of the arcade food messing with his senses. but as he watches you hold megumi up, almost as if he’s flying, he can’t ignore that ridiculous, cheesy pull in his chest.
feel the beat from the tambourine, oh yeah...
oh god. 
is he seriously catching himself grinning at the way you’re both trying to get him to join in? megumi’s little hand reaches out, beckoning him over, and you’re giving him that smile, that “come on, get over here, big guy” look.
you can dance, you can jive…
the song hits that soaring note in his head just as he finally gives in and starts to walk over, and his pulse actually picks up, as if he’s not just at some run-down arcade but in the middle of some ridiculously sappy rom-com finale.
having the time of your life…
and then megumi is shrieking again, calling, “dad, hurry up!” like it’s life or death, and you’re beaming at him with that mischievous, encouraging look.
toji sighs, shaking his head at himself. 
just great. 
the two of you have officially dragged him into your world, soundtrack and all.
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toji's trying his best to lock in. 
but as he walks out of the arcade — juggling not one, but four oversized plushies, two fancy new lego sets, a slinky, a bouncy ball, some glow-in-the-dark slime, and a rainbow slap bracelet — he can’t help but snort at the sheer ridiculousness of it. 
between his loaded arms and megumi curled up fast asleep in yours, it’s a scene straight out of one of those cheesy family movies.
he shakes his head, trying to push down that weirdly warm feeling creeping up on him. 
stay focused, toji. 
he doesn't need any sappy feelings right now. he's a single dad with a kid and a job, not some washed-up rom-com character, damn it. 
but watching you gently adjust megumi as he drools onto your shoulder, snuggling deeper into the crook of your arm as you carefully slide into the backseat, it’s hard not to feel that tug again.
ugh, he thinks, climbing into the driver’s seat as you buckle up up front, giving him a soft, tired smile. 
“never held a kid before, huh?” he teases, eyes glancing from the road to the rearview mirror, where megumi’s still dozing, soft breaths muffling against your arm.
“nope,” you shrug, but there’s a softness to your voice as you gently rub megumi’s back, “first time for everything, i guess.”
toji’s heart does that weird skip thing again. 
oh god, he thinks, gripping the wheel a little tighter as he tries to ignore the sappy old man vibe overtaking him.
the air in the car feels... charged, but it’s not like either of you are exactly leaning into the tension. instead, you both sit in this weird, awkward silence, save for the quiet hum of the radio, like you’re suddenly too aware of just being there with each other.
and then, as if the universe wanted to toy with you, iris by the goo goo dolls starts playing. 
oh, god. you immediately wish you could just evaporate into the passenger seat.
“...and i’d give up forever to touch you…” the lyrics croon, filling the silence, and you can practically feel the heat crawling up your cheeks.
toji clears his throat, obviously catching it too. “radio’s on a roll, huh?”
“yep,” you say, managing a weak laugh. “i mean, this is classic… everyone listens to goo goo dolls in, uh, total silence in the car with their coworker, right?”
he glances at you, a rare, subtle smile ghosting on his lips. “totally normal.”
“and i don’t want the world to see me… ’cause i don’t think that they’d understand…”
you glance out the window, eyes focused anywhere but on him, biting back a laugh at how the song somehow keeps getting more dramatic. like, who’s writing this scene, seriously?
“just tell me where to turn,” toji says, breaking through your internal monologue, and you do, mentioning a landmark close to home, hoping he’ll take the hint.
but toji only raises an eyebrow. “near it? nah. i’m dropping you at the door.”
“oh, no, that’s really fine —” you start, but he’s already shaking his head.
“don’t worry about it,” he insists, a smirk in his voice. “besides, i remember where you live. from, you know… last time.”
wait. last time? as in… when you were embarrassingly, unapologetically wasted that night?
you want to crawl under the seat as the lyrics continue, “when everything’s made to be broken…”
so when toji pulls up in front of your apartment, there’s this odd feeling hanging in the air. you catch yourself wanting to... linger, just a little longer, even if you’re home. 
and lowkey? 
so does toji. 
it’s like the two of you have hit this weird teenage crush level of awkward — just leaning, leaning, like there’s some invisible string pulling you closer.
he’s looking at you, and you’re looking at him, and you’re both just… stuck there. you can’t even bring yourself to reach for the door handle, and it’s the same for him.
but right as the moment peaks, a tiny, innocent voice cuts through from the backseat. “are you two going to kiss?”
megumi’s question hangs there, blunt and childlike, breaking whatever spell had you both frozen. you both jolt back, blinking as if you just woke up.
“what? no!” you blurt, practically tripping over your own denial. 
your face feels like it’s about to catch fire.
toji coughs, rubbing the back of his neck, just barely suppressing a chuckle.
“kid’s got a helluva imagination,” he mutters, eyes anywhere but on you.
as you finally reach for the door handle, ready to slip out and say your goodbyes, you hear a little sniffle from the backseat.
“wait…” megumi’s voice is tiny, almost shaky. you turn around, and to your surprise, his face is scrunched up, his eyes glistening with tears that he’s trying so hard to hold back.
“hey, hey, what’s wrong?” you ask, twisting around in your seat to face him. “i’ll see you again, kiddo.”
but his lower lip wobbles, and suddenly he bursts into full-on tears, clutching the giant plushie he won at the arcade. “b-but i don’t want you to leave!” he sobs, voice cracking. “can’t you stay just a little longer?”
toji’s eyes widen; he looks genuinely shocked. 
“megumi, you’re fine, she’s not going anywhere forever. what’s gotten into you?” he tries to keep his tone steady, but there’s an undercurrent of surprise. 
megumi doesn’t cry. 
ever. 
this is new territory.
megumi just shakes his head, burying his face into the plushie. “but she’s nice,” he mumbles, muffled but insistent. “and she plays games with me and —” he peeks out from the plushie with red, teary eyes. “and she talks to me like you do.”
you feel something stir in your chest at his words, this overwhelming urge to hug him even though you’d sworn up and down just an hour ago you didn’t know how to handle kids.
“aw, megumi,” you say softly, reaching over and giving his little hand a squeeze. “i’ll still see you, i promise. maybe we can even play again sometime, okay?”
“but you’re leaving now,” he says, his voice quivering, clutching your hand with a desperation that tugs at your heart. 
“and daddy didn’t even kiss you.”
the absolute silence that follows is deafening. 
you feel your face go redder than it’s ever been, and a glance at toji shows he’s equally flustered, mouth opening and closing as if he’s trying to find some way to steer this conversation back to normal.
“whoa, hey now,” toji says, forcing a laugh as he clears his throat. “that’s, uh — that’s not how it works, kid.” he ruffles megumi’s hair a little too hard, clearly floundering. “and hey, don’t go crying over someone just leaving for the night, you’re stronger than that.”
“i don’t care,” megumi sniffles, clutching your hand tighter. “i like her. and she makes you smile.”
toji freezes, the color draining from his face for just a split second. 
makes him smile. 
he doesn’t even realize he’s been smiling, maybe more in one day than he has in months. he glances at you, brow furrowed like he’s trying to make sense of it himself.
“well…” toji’s voice is softer now, almost cautious, like he’s testing out words he hasn’t said in a long time. “
maybe… maybe she could come around again. if she wants to, that is.”
“i do.” you answer without thinking, your gaze drifting to megumi’s tear-streaked face, which immediately lights up.
“really?” megumi’s eyes shine, practically bouncing in his seat. “you promise?”
“i promise,” you say with a smile, giving him a reassuring nod. “as long as it’s okay with you and your dad, of course.”
“’s fine,” toji grumbles, running a hand over his face to hide his slight grin. “besides, someone’s gotta teach you a lesson or two at the arcade next time.”
“is that a challenge, toji?” you quip, smirking. “because if i remember right, megumi here got more tickets than both of us combined.”
“that’s because i taught him everything he knows,” toji scoffs, rolling his eyes as if he can’t believe he’s even entertaining this.
megumi sniffles one last time, his eyes practically glowing with happiness. “then… you’ll come over soon, right?”
“absolutely,” you say, warmth bubbling up in your chest as you meet his hopeful gaze. “but only if you promise to keep practicing at the arcade. gotta keep that winning streak going, right?”
megumi grins, finally letting go of your hand as he settles back with a contented sigh. “deal.”
toji just shakes his head, muttering something about the “drama” gene clearly skipping a generation, though the smile tugging at his lips says otherwise.
as you unbuckle your seatbelt, ready to say goodbye, you feel the car click with the unmistakable sound of the child lock. you glance back at megumi, who’s nodding off against his plushie pile, and back at toji, who’s already climbing out to walk you up to your door. 
gentlemanly of him, sure. 
though, the way his eyes linger on you… there’s more to it than that.
“i could’ve walked myself, you know,” you say, falling into step beside him as you head up to your building. “it’s not that far.”
“maybe i just felt like making sure you didn’t trip and embarrass yourself,” he shoots back, smirking as he nudges your shoulder.
“very chivalrous, fushiguro,” you reply, rolling your eyes but grinning anyway. “honestly, you’re like a walking textbook definition of ‘gentleman.’”
“yeah, well,” he clears his throat, looking just a bit smug. “maybe i was raised right. or maybe,” his voice drops a little lower, “i just wanted an excuse to stick around a little longer.”
you blink, caught off guard by the soft rasp in his voice, the way his eyes are just a bit darker under the porch light.
“oh,” is all you manage, though your heartbeat’s doing a little somersault. “well… uh. here’s my door.”
“guess it is,” he murmurs, eyes glinting as he takes a step closer, leaning against the doorframe like he’s meant to be there, like he’s settled in the idea of being right here, with you. 
“y’know… not a bad place to end the night.”
“yeah,” you say, feeling the words catch in your throat as you gaze up at him, taking in every detail, every shadow. “definitely not bad.”
the two of you are just standing there, a little too close, the space between you narrowing with every unspoken word. he glances down at your lips, and your pulse spikes — he’s thinking it too, right? but just as the moment seems to reach its tipping point, toji smirks, a flash of mischief in his eyes.
“you know,” he says, raising an eyebrow. “still can’t believe you’re the same girl who wrote that… what was it again?” he chuckles, clearly remembering. “oh, right — ‘her legs wrapped around him like a vice, his name spilling from her lips like honey’.”
your face goes nuclear. 
that line. 
of all the lines, that one?
“you… you remember that?” you manage, mortified.
“’course i remember,” he says, that smug smirk firmly in place. “you think i just skimmed through your stuff?”
“well — i — ” your words are a mess, barely coherent. “i mean, i just thought —”
“nah, i’ve been reading it all.” his voice is low, almost a whisper as he leans just a little closer, his fingers lightly brushing your arm. “you’ve got quite the imagination.”
“s-shut up,” you stammer, unable to meet his gaze. “i was just… doing my job.”
“i know,” he says, voice soft but unyielding. “you’ve got talent.”
there’s a beat, silence stretching between you, the weight of his words settling over the both of you.
“...and you’ve got this whole heartthrob thing going for you,” you blurt out, finally meeting his eyes with a nervous laugh. “kind of makes it hard to believe you’re my colleague.”
“heartthrob, huh?” he smirks, voice dipping lower as his fingers drift to your chin, tilting your face up. 
“so that’s what you think of me?”
“i — i mean…” you stammer, your heart racing as you look into his eyes, feeling your cheeks burn. “maybe a little. just… a tiny bit.”
“tiny?” he murmurs, his lips barely an inch away. “could’ve sworn you looked a little more than just ‘tiny’ interested.”
“oh yeah?” your voice is a whisper now, almost breathless as you feel his breath on your skin, his gaze never wavering. “what if i was?”
“then i’d probably do this,” he mutters, his hand sliding up to cradle your face, and before you know it, his lips are on yours, soft and warm and impossibly gentle.
your breath catches, and instinctively, you lean into him, letting his kiss deepen, his hand tracing slow, lazy patterns against your cheek. it’s everything you’d imagined and somehow even better, his presence grounding and electric all at once.
when he finally pulls back, his forehead rests against yours, his eyes soft but searching. “so… do i still get to be a heartthrob?”
“only if i still get to be the girl with the cringe smut,” you murmur back, grinning like an idiot.
“deal,” he says, chuckling as he pulls you in for another kiss, his lips brushing yours like a promise.
ah, shit.
as toji slips back into the car, he barely manages to close the door before megumi’s voice hits him like a lightning bolt.
“daddy kissed the pretty lady!” megumi shrieks, pointing an accusatory finger from the backseat. “i saw it! you have that weird face on!”
toji’s eyebrows shoot up. “weird face? what weird face?” he tries to play it cool, adjusting the rearview mirror, but the ghost of that kiss is still painted on his lips, his pulse betraying him with every beat.
“that smile,” megumi says, wrinkling his nose in a perfect mirror of his dad’s usual expression of disdain. “you look like a… like a…” he pauses, searching for the right words. “...like a love puppy!”
toji chokes, stifling a laugh. “a love puppy? where the hell did you get that from?”
“it’s a thing, daddy,” megumi huffs, crossing his arms. “you have that goofy look, and your face is all soft. you only look like that when you’re being weird.”
“me? weird?” toji glances in the mirror, catching megumi’s glare. “kid, i think you’ve got this all wrong.”
“no, i don’t!” megumi insists, practically bouncing in his seat. “you were all ‘goo-goo eyes’ and ‘smoochy-smoochy’ and ‘mwah mwah mwah!’” he makes exaggerated kissing sounds, complete with squished-up lips and hand gestures, utterly scandalized by his dad’s sudden transformation.
“alright, alright, enough with the ‘mwah mwah.’” toji tries to suppress a laugh, rubbing the back of his neck. “you’ve been watching too many cartoons.”
megumi shakes his head, his expression serious. “nope. i knew it. i knew you liked her.” he narrows his eyes, as if seeing through toji’s very soul. “so… are you gonna marry her?”
toji’s eyes go wide. 
“whoa, whoa, hold on. nobody said anything about marriage.”
“but if you kiss someone, that means you wanna be with them forever, right?” megumi asks earnestly, looking way too wise for his age.
toji stares ahead, caught off-guard by the kid’s earnestness. 
that kiss… he didn’t plan it. he didn’t even know he was going to do it until he’d leaned in, felt the spark pull him closer. but now? 
yeah, the idea of just walking away feels… wrong. he tightens his grip on the steering wheel, his mind racing.
“kid, sometimes people just… feel things, okay?” he says, his voice softer, more introspective. “even if they don’t really know why.”
megumi tilts his head, watching his dad closely. “so you do like her, then?”
toji snorts, pulling the car out onto the road. “alright, detective, settle down back there. no more snooping.”
they drive in a comfortable silence for a moment, but the radio has other plans. 
as if on cue, the familiar, aching chords of iris by the goo goo dolls come through the speakers, and toji swears he could feel the universe laughing at him.
“and i don’t want the world to see me, ’cause i don’t think that they’d understand…”
toji clenches his jaw, feeling the lyrics press into him, each line stirring something restless and warm in his chest. he’s always been a guy with his walls up, always knew the stakes were too high to let anyone in. 
but tonight… tonight, he let his guard down. just for a second. 
he kissed you, tasted the softness of your lips, and the spark left him reeling.
“when everything’s meant to be broken, i just want you to know who i am…”
“daddy?” megumi’s voice breaks through his thoughts. “do you think… maybe you could see her again? so she could come play with us?”
toji blinks, glancing at megumi in the rearview mirror. “you really like her, huh?”
megumi nods vigorously. “yeah! she’s… nice. and fun.” his face softens. “and… she made you look happy.”
toji’s heart gives a strange, unfamiliar twist at that. 
happy, huh? 
he’s been around the block long enough to know that happiness isn’t exactly his best friend. but sitting here, listening to megumi, feeling that residual warmth from your kiss… it makes him wonder. 
wonder what life could look like with you in it.
but he pushes the thought away, focusing on the road. doesn’t change the fact that you’re just his colleague. right?
“and i’d give up forever to touch you…”
ugh.
he shifts uncomfortably, hoping megumi doesn’t notice his knuckles going white on the steering wheel. 
that kiss wasn’t just some fleeting thing — he’d known it the second he felt the warmth of you linger even after pulling away. the idea of letting you go now feels… impossible. something’s tugging him back, making him want more.
“hey, daddy,” megumi pipes up again, breaking toji’s brooding. “you got that look again.”
“what look?” toji mutters, trying to focus on anything but the goofy grin creeping back onto his face.
megumi smirks, mimicking toji’s soft expression. “that ‘i kissed a pretty lady’ look!”
toji laughs, shaking his head as he glances at megumi in the rearview mirror. “alright, alright. i guess you caught me.”
and as he drives home, the final notes of iris playing softly through the car, he can’t shake the feeling that this… whatever this is… isn’t something he’s ready to let go of.
ah, shit.
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as soon as toji sets megumi down on his bed, tucking him in amongst the mountain of ridiculous plushies he’d somehow won at the arcade, he heads back to his room. sliding his phone out, he finds himself doing something he never thought he’d do: texting gojo. of all people.
with a reluctant sigh, he taps out a message, feeling a pang of embarrassment he can’t shake.
you [8:47 pm]: how long’s her contract with gojo sonic?
a moment later, he watches the screen, regretting even reaching out. but, of course, gojo wastes no time with a reply.
gojo s. [8:50 pm]: ohohohohooooo her contract???  gojo s. [8:50 pm]: i knew it. you’re smitten. you [8:51 pm]: don’t start. gojo s. [8:51 pm]: too late! c’mon, dish it out, big guy.  gojo s. [8:51 pm]: you guys had a moment, huh? the chemistry finally snapped? what’d ya do, kiss her?
toji clenches his jaw, hesitating before typing back. his thumb hovers, wondering how much grief he’d get for saying yes. finally, he mutters a curse under his breath and just goes for it.
you [8:53 pm]: ...yeah, i kissed her. happy?
he can practically feel gojo’s cackle vibrating through the phone.
gojo s. [8:53 pm]: WHAT???  gojo s. [8:53 pm]: WAIT.  gojo s. [8:53 pm]: oh, i need details.  gojo s. [8:53 pm]: full play-by-play.  gojo s. [8:53 pm]: like was it one of those slow, cinematic moments?  gojo s. [8:54 pm]: or was it a grab and smooch kinda deal??
toji rolls his eyes, fighting off a grin he refuses to admit is there. of all the reactions, he’d been prepared for gojo’s nosiness, but it’s still as annoying as ever.
you [8:55 pm]: shut it. i already said too much. gojo s. [8:55 pm]: pfffff as if i’m letting you get away with that tidbit and no context.  gojo s. [8:55 pm]: did she look at you all wide-eyed?  gojo s. [8:55 pm]: did you do that thing with your voice??  gojo s. [8:56 pm]: or was it just an accidental, “oh no, we tripped into each other’s faces” sorta thing?
toji rubs his temples, trying to block out how much his stupid heart rate picks up just remembering the way you looked up at him, the softness of your lips, the way it all felt so natural. he shakes his head, forcing the memory aside.
you [8:57 pm]: none of your business, and it’s private.  you [8:57 pm]: don’t you dare send any of this to suguru. gojo s. [8:57 pm]: oh relax! suguru’s not that nosy.  gojo s. [8:57 pm]: okay maybe he is.  gojo s. [8:58 pm]: but he’s a romantic.  gojo s. [8:58 pm]: think of it as getting free relationship coaching!! you [9:00 pm]: i swear to god satoru i’ll leave the company if you spill this.
there’s a pause, and for a second toji hopes that maybe he’s scared gojo off. 
but, predictably, the next message makes his blood pressure spike.
gojo s. [9:05 pm]: ohhhhh no no you’re not getting off that easy.  gojo s. [9:05 pm]: i’m calling dibs on being the flower girl at your wedding. suguru can be the maid of honor.  gojo s. [9:06 pm]: no nvm he’d wanna be the best man gojo s. [9:06 pm]: I’LL GET MEGUMI TO CARRY THE RINGS gojo s. [9:06 pm]: genius.
toji practically growls at his phone, already regretting every second of this conversation.
you [9:07 pm]: i’ll delete this whole damn thread. this never happened, got it? gojo s. [9:09 pm]: aww, toji bear, don’t be like that. i’ll take care of your little love story for you, promise. consider me your personal wingman.  gojo s. [9:10 pm]: now tell me this — when’s round two of smooch central happening? you [9:11 pm]: goodnight, satoru.
and with that, he shoves his phone onto his nightstand, rubbing his face with a hand. he can still feel the lingering warmth of that kiss, the way his heart skipped, the unexpected tenderness that’s lodged itself in his mind. 
stupid.
he shouldn’t have even told gojo.
but as much as he regrets letting it slip, he doesn’t regret the kiss itself. 
not even a bit.
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as soon as you slam your door shut, you just… stand there for a minute, heart racing, and press your fingers to your lips like it’ll somehow reverse what just happened. 
you kissed toji fushiguro. 
the toji fushiguro.
colleague extraordinaire, with biceps that could probably benchpress your entire life’s savings, and that smirk… oh god, that smirk that had you in a daze.
but the problem? 
there was a mini him there. 
a little him with matching black hair and a sharp gaze. 
you thought he was, like, the cool uncle? but… he’s a dad? 
and if he’s a dad… does that mean he’s married? are you the other woman?!
you pace around, practically stomping into the carpet. 
“okay, okay, let’s think this through,” you mutter, putting your hands on your hips. 
“he… he could be a single dad, right? it’s 2024, it’s not that weird for people to have kids without, like, commitment commitments. but then again, he does look like the type who’d… i don’t know, maybe be exclusive? probably?”
your brain is racing, and you’re spinning yourself into circles. 
“i mean, i haven’t seen a ring on his finger… but maybe he just doesn’t wear it?” you plop down on your couch, practically sinking into it as you cover your face with both hands.
ugh.
“did i just kiss a married man? or worse… what if he’s, like, engaged? or has a live-in girlfriend? or — oh my god, what if he’s in some high-profile relationship and i just stepped into the middle of it? —”
you groan, flopping back. “but he… he definitely leaned in first. i’m not hallucinating. he did! but then, if he’s that willing to kiss me, does that mean he’s… a cheater?”
you sit up and shake your head, wide-eyed. “okay, no, i refuse to believe that toji fushiguro, mr. brooding and brooding-er with a kid who listens to korn, is a cheater. there’s no way… right?”
your own voice is almost pleading as you try to convince yourself, pacing again. 
“i mean, maybe he’s just… really, really committed to… being mysterious. yeah, that makes sense. he’s keeping everything a secret, so that just leaves me spiraling about him… perfect. just perfect.”
you smack a hand against your forehead. “why couldn’t i have asked literally any of this earlier?” you shake your head. “right, because i was too busy kissing him.”
you throw yourself back onto the couch and stare at the ceiling, the whole thing replaying in your head. 
that look he gave you, the warmth of his hand on your back…
stop.
but it’s too late. your brain keeps running with it.
“what if… what if he has no idea i’m freaking out?” you frown. “oh, he probably doesn’t. and here i am, making a whole drama out of one kiss.” you let out a deep sigh.
you flop onto your bed, heart still pounding, and stare up at the ceiling, fingers absently grazing your lips. 
burning loins, they said. melting from one kiss, they said. 
well, no one exactly said that — except every steamy novel you’ve ever read or written, but that’s beside the point.
you groan, kicking your feet up in frustration. this isn’t one of your own novels! it’s supposed to be real life! but now here you are, in the aftermath of what was arguably the best kiss you’ve ever had, practically combusting at the memory of it.
“if one kiss with toji — no, any man — can get me this hot and bothered, how am i supposed to handle it if i ever… you know…” your voice trails off, and you turn over, burying your face into the pillow as if it’ll smother the absurd train of thought. 
but then, just as you start to get your mind off it, his face pops back up in your head.
“oh god,” you mumble, pulling the pillow over your face. “this is pathetic.” you roll over again, laughing helplessly to yourself. 
if this is what one or two kisses do to me… what’ll happen if we actually have sex?
your eyes snap open. “okay, no. no! i didn’t mean toji, i meant, like… any guy! any guy at all! but, oh god, why is it always him?!”
you stare at the ceiling, huffing as your brain keeps looping back to him. 
his stupidly attractive smirk, the way his hand was firm but gentle on your back, how he looked at you as if you were his next breath. 
girl, get a grip.
“this is ridiculous,” you mutter, swatting at your face like it’ll erase his image from your mind. but it doesn’t work; he’s right there, all hot and smug in your imagination. ugh, this isn’t fair!
it’s like all those countless hours you spent spinning erotic fantasies are coming back to haunt you — and in the most inconvenient, infuriating way possible. you scrunch up your face, realizing with mild horror that maybe… just maybe… you wrote this scenario into existence for yourself.
“oh no… is this karma?” you groan, curling up and swatting the air in helpless embarrassment. “girl, this is not supposed to happen in real life. or with toji.”
but there it is: his face, and your wildly racing heart, and the undeniable, excruciating heat pooling in your belly that refuses to quit.
but even with the spiraling, there’s one thing you can’t deny: as much as it’s driving you crazy, as much as you’re practically scaring yourself into thinking you’ve just made the worst mistake of your life…
you kinda don’t regret it. and that’s the scariest part.
ah, shit.
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you step into gojo-sonic, clutching your bag with a little more intensity than usual, and it’s as if you’ve entered an alternate dimension. 
the energy is somehow… different. you expect to be greeted with the usual casual nods and waves, but instead, gojo is practically skipping toward you, arms spread wide like he’s welcoming the new queen of the recording studio.
“there she is! our star of the show, our resident heart-throb wrangler!” he coos, louder than necessary. his grin is blinding, and you’re caught between the urge to backpedal out of the building or dive under the nearest desk.
“uh… good morning?” you reply, more like a question than a statement, glancing around to see if anyone else is picking up on his hyperness. it’s like he’s had twelve cups of coffee or ten bags of skittles. “gojo, you’re… kind of extra today.”
“extra? extra?” he throws a hand over his heart, eyes gleaming. “honey, i’m never just ‘extra.’ i am exactly the right amount of gojo for the occasion.”
“and what occasion is that, exactly?”
“oh, nothing much, just a certain someone having an… enlightening encounter last night,” he says with a wink so exaggerated it looks like he’s trying to shoo a bug off his face.
you stiffen. “wait, how do you…?”
“oh, come on,” he waves it off, laughing. “you think you can keep something like that from me? i mean, i might be blessed with an enormous amount of talent, looks, and charisma, but i also happen to have eyes and ears everywhere.” he taps his temple, looking ridiculously pleased with himself.
“seriously?” you glance around, your stomach sinking a little, looking for any sign of smirking coworkers or curious eyes, but everyone’s just… normal? going about their business, not sparing you a second glance. relief washes over you, only to be swept away by gojo’s piercing stare.
“oh, don’t worry. i haven’t shared your scandalous rendezvous with the world. only i am privy to this delightful information — for now,” he adds, wagging a finger. “and don’t look so shocked! nothing juicy stays hidden from me for long. i know all the company secrets.”
you feel heat rise to your cheeks, equal parts exasperated and embarrassed. “gojo, it wasn’t even that big of a deal. it’s not like…” you trail off, realizing he’s hanging on to your every word, eyes sparkling with mischief.
“uh-huh,” he drawls, drawing the word out. “not a big deal, you say? then why do you look like you’re about to start sweating bullets?”
“i’m not sweating bullets,” you say through clenched teeth, then give in and sigh. “look, we just… it was just a… i mean, we’re colleagues, and things got a little… friendly. it doesn’t have to mean anything!”
gojo gasps, mock-horrified. “oh, but darling, this is precisely why it’s so interesting! you, of all people, getting caught up with toji fushiguro? and here i thought you’d sworn off office romances.”
“it’s not an office romance,” you insist, voice practically a whisper. “we just… kissed. once. or twice. maybe. but it doesn’t mean anything!”
gojo leans in, conspiratorially. “and yet you look ready to combust from the inside out just talking about it.”
you huff, throwing him a half-hearted glare. “maybe it’s because someone is making this into a bigger deal than it actually is.”
“you wound me!” he presses a hand dramatically to his chest, giving you an exaggerated pout. “but don’t worry, your little secret is safe with me. i only told you so you’d know that i know. and, you know, to make things extra awkward in case mr. heart-throb walks in.”
“oh, so you’re really just out to make my life difficult?”
he grins, all teeth. “precisely.”
just then, as if summoned by some cruel twist of fate, toji strolls in. he’s the absolute picture of normalcy, no hint whatsoever of last night’s… moment. 
in fact, he gives you a polite nod, a polite nod, as if he hadn’t had you pressed against your own door just hours ago.
“morning,” he says casually, voice smooth, tone nonchalant. he doesn’t even so much as smirk.
you nearly choke. polite nod? normal greeting? did he forget the entire thing? 
“oh, morning,” you manage, clearing your throat, feeling like you’re about to combust again.
gojo, however, is having the time of his life. he’s practically vibrating next to you, watching the exchange with glee.
“morninggg, fushiguro,” he greets toji, voice syrupy with unrestrained glee. “any exciting news today?”
toji raises an eyebrow, shooting him a confused look. “uh, no? everything’s pretty normal.” his eyes flick over to you, calm, almost neutral, as if he hadn’t kissed you senseless just last night.
you clench your jaw. is he really going to act like this? you nearly feel like gaslighting yourself into thinking last night never happened. maybe you just dreamed it, right?
toji’s gaze flicks away from you, unperturbed, as he moves over to get his things ready for the day’s recording. and that’s when gojo leans over and mutters under his breath, “you sure you don’t want to just… remind him?”
“i hate you,” you mutter back, trying not to smile, knowing that he’s secretly rooting for you to fall flat on your face with this whole ordeal.
“i live for your misery, my friend,” he replies with a wink.
meanwhile, toji was absolutely in another dimension of romcom chaos himself, feeling like some kind of high school kid who just had his first crush. he woke up grinning, actually giggling as he got dressed. 
giggling. when was the last time he did that? 
he nearly skipped out the door, and on his drive to work, he found himself humming, humming, to his car stereo like some lovestruck fool. and he didn’t stop there. oh no. 
by the time he reached gojo-sonic, he’d already run through a few extra vocal warm-ups in the car — something he never did this early. he cleared his throat and ran through his usual lines twice, even testing his pitch a bit. no, not because he wanted to be extra smooth today, of course not. he was doing it for the… for the paycheck. 
definitely.
but as soon as he walked into the studio, and he saw you standing there beside gojo, looking all kinds of pretty and polished… he practically heard violins. except no, it wasn’t violins. 
it was, somehow, worse.
his mind cued up dancing queen.
“no. nope. nope.” he muttered under his breath, trying to swat the ridiculous soundtrack out of his mind. but it wouldn’t stop. 
“dancing queen, feel the beat from the tambourine, oh, yeah….”
why, in the name of all things sacred, was his brain doing this to him? he was toji fushiguro, not some idiot falling over his own feet for a girl at work. he gave himself a good shake, squared his shoulders, and tried to keep his composure. yet every time he caught your eye, his chest did a little flip — and dammit if he didn’t want to just pick you up and give you another kiss right then and there.
“morning,” he forced out, nodding as casually as he could.
and there you were, gaping back with that hint of nervousness, looking like you might combust from just a regular “good morning.” 
god, it was almost cute enough to make him actually laugh out loud.
“she’s just a colleague,” he reminded himself, over and over again, as he worked to keep the grin off his face. “a colleague. not some romcom lead you just made out with in front of her apartment.”
yet the way dancing queen kept droning in his head, as if mocking his every move? toji was seriously questioning whether he’d woken up in some kind of alternate reality.
and he just knew gojo was watching the whole thing with a smug look, likely dying to crack a joke, or worse, belt out dancing queen if he somehow figured out what was in toji’s head. 
and knowing gojo? he probably already had.
the studio door clicked shut as gojo swept out with an exaggerated bow, holding up his finger in a silent “one minute” before he launched into his call with suguru in a voice loud enough to be heard two floors down. gojo was probably already going on about the “incredible chemistry” between his favorite team members, or whatever nonsense he’d decided on for today. 
and with him out of the room, it was just you and toji. 
alone. 
in silence.
you shifted on your feet, eyes darting everywhere except directly at him, yet somehow landing right back on him. it was like your brain had a toji magnet switched on, and no matter how hard you tried to look elsewhere, you found yourself glancing back at him.
finally, the quiet got so charged that you both ended up blurting out at the exact same time —
“are you single?”
you both froze, then looked at each other, wide-eyed, like you couldn’t believe you’d just asked that out loud.
“uh,” toji coughed, scratching the back of his neck. “well. yeah, i am. single, that is.
“oh.” you tried to act cool, but it came out as a slightly breathless squeak. “good to know.”
“and you?” he asked, voice low, almost cautious, as if bracing himself for an answer he wasn’t sure he wanted to hear.
“also single,” you admitted, feeling your cheeks warm under his gaze. “which… is also good to know.”
there was a beat of quiet where you both just kind of looked at each other, a half-smile creeping onto his face as you kept shifting on your feet, practically melting under the intensity of his gaze.
“so…” you cleared your throat, your hands fidgeting a little as you gathered the nerve to ask the next thing. “didn’t know you had a kid.”
“oh, yeah.” toji chuckled, a hint of fondness lighting up his expression as he thought of his son. “he’s my kid, alright. handful and a half, that one.”
“he’s adorable.” you smiled, thinking back to the mini toji who had totally stolen your heart. “how old is he?”
“eight.” toji’s voice softened, a rare warmth in his tone that you’d never heard before. “he, uh… he means a lot to me. not that i’d ever tell him that, though. don’t want him thinking he’s got me wrapped around his little finger or anything.”
you laughed, picturing the little boy with his big grin and fearless energy. “something tells me he already knows.”
“yeah, probably.” toji laughed too, and for a moment, there was an ease between you, a shared warmth that made the whole moment feel so… natural.
“so… um, are you, like… a single dad?” you asked, careful with your words, not wanting to pry too deeply.
“yeah.” his answer was simple, but there was a weight to it. “just me and the kid. been that way for a while.”
“that’s…” you bit your lip, not sure what to say without sounding weirdly sentimental. “that’s admirable. megumi’s lucky to have you.
“i don’t know about all that,” he muttered, clearly uncomfortable with the praise but unable to hide a small smile. “just doing what i can, you know?”
“still,” you said, feeling a swell of admiration you hadn’t expected. “it’s impressive. and honestly… seeing you with him yesterday? it was… kinda heartwarming.”
toji looked at you, eyes softening in a way that made your heart stutter. 
“thanks,” he murmured, his voice almost a whisper. “means a lot, hearing that.”
the two of you stood there, closer than you realized, in this weird bubble where everything felt warm and intense and perfect. just as you felt that strange magnetic pull drawing you closer, like maybe you’d just close the gap and —
the studio door banged open.
“don’t stop on my account!” gojo sing-songed, practically sashaying back into the room, a smirk plastered across his face.
you both leaped back, clearing your throats and suddenly finding the walls, the floor, anything else in the room utterly fascinating.
“alright, lovebirds, let’s get this recording started, shall we?” gojo grinned, his eyes sparkling with mischief as he looked between the two of you, not even pretending he hadn’t just caught a whole moment.
toji settled into the recording booth, leaning back in the chair with the script in hand, his voice dipping to that low, gravelly tone that made every line sound like an invitation.
“so,” he began, speaking as the dragon king to the main character in the script, his words practically dripping with intensity, “you think you can resist me? i see right through you… even the bravest warriors have trembled at my touch.”
your breath caught as he delivered the line, eyes wide as you watched him through the glass. 
you couldn’t help it — his character was practically staring into your soul, voice thick and slow, practically wrapping around each word.
“do you know what happens to those who challenge me?” toji continued, his eyes narrowing as he held the script in one hand, his gaze piercing. “they are forced to surrender… one way or another.”
outside the booth, you practically felt yourself melting, feeling a flush creep up your cheeks as you fidgeted with the edge of your shirt. 
toji’s voice, his delivery — it was all too much. how was it possible for him to sound that… that intense? it was like he was actually speaking to you.
“ah, beautiful.” gojo, standing beside you, broke in with a theatrical sigh. “our dragon king sounds magnificent, doesn’t he? i could practically faint!”
you shot him a quick glare, barely masking a smirk. “keep it down, gojo. he’s in the middle of it.”
“oh, i’m just here to appreciate the artistry,” gojo whispered back, feigning innocence as he leaned in to watch, hands clasped together dramatically.
“the choice is yours,” toji went on, his voice softer now, laced with something tender that made it impossible to look away. “join me… or keep pretending this —” he emphasized the word, letting it linger “ — isn’t exactly what you’ve been wanting.”
you swallowed hard, feeling the weight of his gaze even through the glass. 
was he delivering that line as the dragon king or as… well, toji?
but then —
“ohhhh!” gojo chimed in loudly, clutching his chest as if he’d been struck by an arrow. “the passion! the romance! our hero’s heart is pounding!”
toji paused, rolling his eyes as he looked at gojo through the glass. “you really gonna keep interrupting, gojo?”
“oh, don’t mind me,” gojo said, waving a hand. “i’m simply enjoying the magic in the air! please, carry on. do go on.” he pretended to dab at his eyes. “so moving.”
toji gave a small sigh but threw you a barely-there smile before settling back into character.
“and when you finally stop running…” his voice softened, a quiet urgency threading through it. 
“i’ll be here, waiting… because you belong to me, whether you admit it or not.”
your heart skipped a beat, and you found yourself leaning in, hanging onto every word, caught up in the sheer pull of his voice. 
you didn’t know if it was his talent as a voice actor, the lines he was reading, or him, but every word was drawing you in deeper, bit by bit.
“ah, what is it like to be so passionately claimed by a dragon king? how riveting!” gojo murmured dramatically, as if providing a play-by-play to an audience. “she’s helpless, entranced! they both know she’s falling!”
toji cast a pointed look at gojo, barely concealing a smirk. “you done yet, gojo?”
gojo merely grinned, shrugging. “hey, i’m just here to make sure the romance shines through. and oh, don’t worry — it’s definitely shining.”
toji rolled his eyes but kept going, lowering his voice to a rumbling murmur. “if you don’t know where your heart lies, then i’ll show you.” 
he paused, his words lingering in the air like a promise, like he was speaking directly to you.
by now, the studio felt suffused with tension, thick enough to cut with a knife. it didn’t help that every time gojo piped in with another comment, it only made you feel more painfully aware of every detail: the way toji’s gaze kept flickering your way, the way your own pulse raced faster with each line he spoke.
“the truth is right in front of you,” toji continued, his voice dropping low, rough, something smoldering behind each word. “all you have to do is reach out… and claim it.”
“gorgeous! breathtaking!” gojo burst out, clapping his hands loudly. “i can practically see the sparks flying! ah, young love!”
toji finally broke character, raising a brow at gojo with a look of pure exasperation. “you gonna let me finish or not?”
gojo waved a hand. “fine, fine. but for real — if you two don’t kiss after this, i might have to stage a re-shoot.”
both you and toji threw your hands up simultaneously, voices raised in exasperation. 
“gojo, would you please stop interrupting!”
“yeah, seriously, man,” toji added, shaking his head as he glanced over at you with a shared look of pure frustration.
“okay, okay! sheesh!” gojo shrieked, actually shrieked, as he staggered back in mock terror, clutching his chest like he’d been mortally wounded. “all i wanted was to witness some workplace romance! is that so wrong?”
“yes, gojo, very wrong,” you shot back, rubbing your temples. “this is literally supposed to be professional — you should know that.”
toji snorted, crossing his arms as he smirked at gojo. “for once, i agree. you’ve got all the dramatic flair of a middle-schooler.”
“excuse me,” gojo replied, flipping an imaginary hair strand over his shoulder. “i’ll have you know my artistic eye is very advanced.” he let out a huff, but from the grin on his face, you could tell he was thoroughly enjoying himself.
you shook your head, exasperated. “look, can we just get this recording done without any more —”
“interruptions,” toji finished for you, raising a brow as he glanced over at gojo.
“fine, fine!” gojo finally backed off, dramatically sliding into a chair in the corner, arms folded in mock offense. “i’ll be silent as a stone. a beautiful, thoughtful stone.”
you exchanged another look with toji, both of you sighing in unison. 
something told you both that it was going to be a very long day, especially with gojo’s creative direction…
toji, after finishing a solid block of recording, had ended up chatting with the sound techs, leaving you flipping through your phone while you waited. 
gojo, in his usual meddling fashion, suddenly brightened up and declared, “oh! why don’t you have a little chat with suguru? i told him you were here. he insisted on saying hello!”
you raised an eyebrow. “uh, sure?”
gojo sent you a link to join the video call, and soon suguru’s face popped up on the screen. his calm expression softened slightly when he saw you. “well, hello there. gojo wasn’t exaggerating when he said he had a new ‘star’ at the studio.”
you laughed, feeling a bit flustered. “thanks, geto! i hear you’re a partner at a... famous wine company?”
suguru gave a modest shrug. “yeah, it’s called persephone. it’s a small project that grew bigger than i expected. i handle a lot of the sourcing and marketing — keeps me away from here most of the time.”
“persephone? i’ve heard great things about it!” you said, genuinely impressed. “the way gojo talks about it, it sounds like a pretty big deal.”
he chuckled, glancing to the side as if recalling memories. “i started it with a... friend, actually. she was passionate about wine and had a vision that i couldn’t help but support. i guess i have a soft spot for her, and i... well, care about her a lot.”
you felt your heart warm a little at his sincerity, and the slight hesitation when he spoke of his partner. “it sounds like you two have something special going on,” you said, offering a supportive smile. “i’m sure she appreciates everything you do, especially with how involved you are. and honestly? best of luck. that kind of partnership sounds really meaningful.”
suguru gave a small nod, a faint, appreciative smile on his face. 
“thank you. i think she’d like you. maybe one day, if you ever make it out here for one of gojo’s wild wine-tasting parties, we can all meet up.”
“i’d love that!” you replied, already imagining how intriguing that partnership might be. and as you finished up the conversation, it struck you that you’d gotten a glimpse of a different side of suguru — one he clearly didn’t reveal often.
toji hadn’t meant to get distracted, but the second he saw you on a video call with suguru, laughing over whatever he was saying, he couldn’t help it. he’d been halfway listening to the sound tech drone on about waveform patterns, but all of that faded when he caught sight of you smiling on-screen. 
who exactly were you talking to like that? why did you look so happy?
the tech was still talking beside him, but toji’s focus was elsewhere. 
suguru. 
that damn calm, collected face of his. 
the same suguru who he’d seen only sparingly around the company, mostly through gojo’s random updates, but who was still one of the few people gojo actually respected.
toji squinted, his jaw tightening as he took a few steps toward you and pretended it was a casual stroll.
why was he doing this? it wasn’t like he had any claim on you, right? 
sure, there was that one kiss — or, well, those two kisses, actually. 
but still. 
he was a grown man, not some jealous kid. yet here he was, feeling like he had to size up suguru over a damn screen.
before he even realized it, toji had closed the distance. without asking, he leaned over your shoulder, practically shoving his face into the camera view as he met suguru’s face.
“hey, suguru,” he drawled, and the way his voice came out a little gruff didn’t escape him. “didn’t know you were interrupting a busy studio day here.”
you blinked, wide-eyed at his sudden closeness, but toji kept his eyes on suguru, ignoring your flustered reaction. suguru looked almost amused, raising an eyebrow at toji’s unannounced intrusion.
“toji. i’m just saying hi to the new talent here,” suguru replied with a smooth smile, clearly unfazed. “i’m sure you wouldn’t mind me meeting one of satoru’s top finds.”
“top find?” toji scoffed, feeling a weird pang at the words. “i’m the one doing all the work here.”
you shot him a look, somewhere between surprised and amused. “toji —”
but he just grunted and kept going, ignoring your attempt to intervene. “so, suguru, been busy with all that wine business, huh?” he went on, as if suguru’s whole life story had suddenly become his priority.
“pretty much,” suguru replied, a slight smirk in his tone. “it’s been keeping me busy, and i have a…close partner who keeps me grounded. speaking of which,” he turned his gaze to you with an amused smile, “she was the one who started persephone. i’m really just there to support her vision.”
“sounds convenient,” toji muttered, but suguru just chuckled.
you nudged him with your elbow, giving him a warning look. “toji, come on,” you whispered, as if he was the one being out of line here.
he let out a low sigh, then pulled back slightly, looking at you as if he’d just remembered himself. “what? ’m just makin’ sure you’re not getting dragged into any fancy wine scams or whatever.”
you rolled your eyes but couldn’t hide a smile. “geto’s company is doing fine, toji. it’s called persephone.”
toji folded his arms and gave a dismissive shrug. “well, just saying. i know people.” 
the whole room seemed to go a bit quieter, and toji cleared his throat, looking away from suguru's patient amusement.
“nice meeting you, toji,” suguru added, with a slight tilt of his head. “take care of our new ‘top find’ there, alright?”
toji clenched his jaw a little at the words, then nodded, pretending he wasn’t glaring at the camera. “yeah, yeah. we’re all set here.”
as the call ended, you turned to him, eyebrows raised, clearly wanting an explanation. “what was that about?”
toji scratched the back of his neck, trying to look casual. “just, y’know…making sure you weren’t getting yourself in with shady people.”
“oh? like, you?”
he let out a bark of laughter, realizing he’d backed himself into a corner. “hey, i’m not shady — i’m just thorough.”
you raised an eyebrow. “thorough? right, that’s the word you’re going with?”
“yeah. and what — you mad at me for caring?”
at that, you went quiet, a faint blush touching your cheeks. 
and toji? well, he could only think of those two kisses again, and how stupidly close he’d just gotten to the camera just to… what? size up suguru? 
he mentally groaned. what was wrong with him?
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lovverletters · 7 months ago
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I've been scrolling through your blog, you've got some pretty cute stuff. I loved the serial killer piece. Food for thought, just a little treat- yandere hacker. Serially online genius who falls in love with a small time content creator, and would go on revenge streaks to try and "protect" His darling from trolls
ERROR404˚₊·—̳͟͞͞♡
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A/N : i miss 707. have some yan hacker instead.
T/W : yandere theme, mentions of doxxing, mentions of harassment, invasion of personal information
«────── « ⋅ʚ💌ɞ⋅ » ──────»
" Thanks for the 20 dollar donation 'L3M0NP1E' !! "
[name] thanked the donor with a grateful smile. Being a smaller content creator, receiving donation is quite a rare feat especially with the small size of audience they currently have.
They had only begun making content a few months ago out of boredom under the name of [alias name]. It started with them posting videos of gameplay commentary video, that by a stroke of luck gained traction.
Viewers find their awkward and bizarre commentary that's paired by theirㅡ admittedly horribleㅡ skills in video gaming entertaining and stucked around for more.
[name] was grateful of their supportive and positive followings, they've heard countless horror stories of small content creators being harassed by trolls due to lack of moderation.
They're thankful of the fact that they have yet to encounter any and hope that it'll stay that way.
" Chat, should I go in that room? I feel like if I do, the killer would corner me like a bully asking for my lunch money " [name] turned to read their live chat to seek for the viewer's opinion.
" I see plenty of 'Yes', if I die here it's on you okay~ " They snorted before moving their character to enter the sketchy room only to be killed by the killer the moment they step foot inside of it.
" What did I say, chat?! Like a fucking loser I not only got my lunch money stolen but I was also given a wedgies by that motherfucker! " They hysterically laughed as the chat goes crazy.
It took them a moment to settle down from their fit of laughter and resumed the game. As they were playing through it and talking to the viewers, they noticed a familiar name popping up on the fast paced chat.
edgelord404 : hello. I had a business to attend to earlier, what did I missed?
A smile bloomed on [name]'s feature seeing the message in their chat. This particular viewerㅡ edgelord404ㅡ was one of their viewer they recognized from their early days when the view count barely cracked a hundred on their postings.
" edgelord404 hey! welcome to the stream, we're trying to break into this old granny's bank account and steal her retirement funds "
" Not in real life of course. Don't be silly! " They clarified by emphasizing their words.
edgelord404 : sounds illegal.
edgelord404 : I can help. I got experiences.
[name] began wheezing from how much they laughed. True to their username, edgelord404 loves to spout the most edgy and emo things. They have to admit, it did lights up their days from edgelord404 attempt at humor.
As they were about to respond to edgelord404's comments, they noticed the chat being flooded by less than pleasant comments. They immediately recognized it as to be the work of internet trolls trying to get a rise out of the creator they're harassing.
Before they could attempt at defusing the situation, all of the comments instantly disappeared. [name] and their viewers were confused but the latter assumed that [alias name] got everything under controlled and thought nothing of it.
peachesandcrem : what just happened💀
edgelord404 : you were saying?
" Uhㅡ yeah. Anyways as I was sayingㅡ "
That was odd. Huh.
«────── « ⋅ʚ💌ɞ⋅ » ──────��
Saehoon leaned back against his chair, a satisfied smirk on his face. He watches [alias name], his favourite content creator playing a random game they had interest in.
The stream went along smoothly until a minor turbulence appeared but nothing that he couldn't deal with. Although, he isn't entirely done with the trolls who had invaded his beloved's chat and tried to cause a ruckus.
He had encountered [alias name]'s page a few months ago, right when they had just started with zero following. Saehoon decided to watch them to kill some time but didn't anticipated for him to fall for them instantly.
It could've been the fact that he was the only one watching them failed at the same obstacle over and over againㅡ that it felt intimate. Their bizarre humour and commentary only adds up to their charms that made him fall even deeper.
It didn't take quite a while for Saehoon to dig up information behind the content creator whom had captivated him. Being a genius hacker himself, it is something he was used to doing on a dailyㅡ for work purposes obviously.
Within a few clicks, he has the entirety of [alias name]'s information in his palm. Such as their real name, [name]. Their location, acquaintances, friends, family, their backgrounds and even more.
" [name] .. " Saehoon uttered their name once he obtained their information. It sounded perfect, the way it rolls on his tongueㅡ they were perfect for him.
As time passes, he noticed them slowly gaining popularity and he couldn't help but feel proud of how much they had grown. Admittedly, he was somewhat responsible for pushing out their contents by messing with the algorithm.
Though, he would never take credit for their success of course, he just aided them and the rest is purely their hardwork.
Although he isn't keen on sharing [name] with others, he'd comfort himself with the thought that only he knows such intimate knowledge of [name] that none of their other viewers or fans knows.
Another annoyance that came with [name]'s success is the incessant waves of trolling that comes with it. Normally, he wouldn't care but if it involves his beloved [name]? they best count their lucky stars that he only leaked their doxxes online and not done worse.
Saehoon believed that [name] should invest in some moderator but he's aware that they couldn't afford to pay them. Perhaps he should offered himself someday, that way he could not only openly protects [name] from internet trollsㅡ he could also be closer to them.
Speaking of trolls, he contemplate on what he should do as a revenge for their pathetic attempt at harassing [name]. He'd leaked their personal information as usual of course but he's feeling quite spiteful today, perhaps he should dig up their embarassing past and posted it onlineㅡ or he could post a selfie of theirs that had never been seen before on a forum board.
They'll pay the price of crossing path with [name] and in turn him as well.
«────── « ⋅ʚ💌ɞ⋅ » ──────»
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redroomreflections · 2 months ago
Text
My Other Half
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Natasha Romanoff x Fem!Reader and their teen!daugther
request:Am I bugging out or did Cara have a half sister? If so do you think you could write something about them being reunited and how Natasha and R would view this?
Note: this is going to have to be two parts because that's all i got.
w/c: 2.9k
Cara sat cross-legged on her bed, the soft hum of her laptop providing a comforting backdrop as she edited her latest video. Her YouTube channel had gained a decent following, and she enjoyed sharing her life with her audience, but sometimes the influx of notifications left her feeling overwhelmed. Tonight was no different. The chime rang out again and again, interrupting her flow.
She let out a sigh and pulled her headphones down to rest around her neck. It was her own fault, she knew, that her notifications were still on. It's then she decided to take a break and check her Instagram notifications. Her account had been buzzing with comments and messages from fans, and she hoped that scrolling through them would be a nice distraction. Cara opened the app and began to sift through the usual fan messages and occasional sponsorship offers. A message in her inbox caught her eye, and her breath caught in her throat.
The message read: @jennajoy "Hi Cara, it's Jenna. I hope this isn't too weird, but I found your YouTube channel and saw your videos about your life and your family. I’m Jenna—your little sister. I know this might be a shock, but I wanted to reach out. Maybe we can talk?"
Cara's eyes widened as she processed the words. Shock and disbelief flooded her senses. She read the message again, her heart racing with hope and trepidation. The room seemed to spin slightly as her thoughts raced. The possibility that this could be a joke was high; she was no stranger to internet trolls. But as she clicked on the girl’s profile, she was met with images that felt strangely familiar.
Jenna’s profile picture showed a girl with a bright, open smile that mirrored Cara’s own features. Jenna had inherited their shared diamond shaped face and expressive eyes, though her hair was a shade lighter, a sandy blonde that caught the light in a way Cara remembered from her own childhood. There was a warmth in Jenna’s eyes that seemed to speak of a genuine, kind spirit.
Cara scrolled through Jenna’s feed, finding a series of simple, heartfelt posts. The first few pictures were of Jenna with a golden retriever, the dog’s fluffy coat complementing Jenna’s light brown hair. In one photo, Jenna was kneeling beside the dog, her laugh captured mid-air, radiating joy and innocence.
Another set of photos showed Jenna at a lake house, her sun-kissed skin glowing against the backdrop of a serene, blue lake. She appeared to be having fun, surrounded by what looked like her dad and a woman who might be her stepmom. They all shared a family resemblance, though the stepmom’s features were distinct, marking a clear, blended family dynamic.
Cara read through the captions, each one giving a glimpse into Jenna’s life. One read, “Had the best weekend at the lake with Dad and Mom! Can’t wait to go back soon!” Another photo showed Jenna sitting with the golden retriever, captioned, “My best friend and I, always up for adventures!”
The familiarity of Jenna’s features and the personal nature of her posts tugged at Cara’s heartstrings. She felt a lump in her throat as she digested the captions, each one a small window into a life that felt both distant and intimately connected to her own. The possibility that this was indeed her sister seemed more real with every swipe. She sat there for a moment, contemplating the message. Her fingers hovered over the screen as she fought to steady her breathing. After a deep breath, she slowly began to type a response, her mind a whirl of emotions.
@ iamcara Hi Jenna, thank you for reaching out. This is a big surprise. I am glad to know you and have some family. Do you want to chat on Facetime?
Cara sent the message and held her breath. It was a long shot, but she couldn't shake the feeling that this might be a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity.
The reply was instant. Jenna agreed to a call.
Cara’s heart pounded in her chest as she stared at her phone, her breath caught somewhere between hope and anxiety.
"She agreed," Cara thought.
She quickly tossed her phone onto her bed, rushing to her mirror. Her reflection stared back at her, wide-eyed and flushed.
Without thinking, she started to adjust her hair, smoothing the unruly curls that framed her face. She tied it up, then let it fall back down, unsure of which look felt more right. This wasn’t just any video call—it was her sister. Her sister. She glanced down at her clothes, then opted to throw on her favorite hoodie, something that made her feel like herself but still presentable. She bit her lip, wondering if she was overthinking it.
"Okay, just be cool. Be yourself," She thought, pacing her room as she waited for the call to connect.
Jenna’s face popped up on the screen, her wide smile lighting up the room from wherever she was calling. Cara’s breath caught in her throat as she saw those familiar eyes, the same shape and shade as her own. Jenna looked just as nervous as she felt.
“Hi! Wow, this is crazy,” Jenna said with an excited laugh. “I can’t believe we’re talking.”
“I know, right?” Cara smiled, her nerves easing a bit. “I wasn’t sure if… I mean, I didn’t even know if you’d remember me.”
“How could I forget? I’ve wanted to reach out for so long. I’ve been watching your YouTube for a while… it felt like you were always just right there.”
“Same for me. I used to wonder where you were all the time.”
There was a moment of silence as they both took it in.
Finally, Jenna broke the silence.
"I have so many questions,” she admitted. “What’s your life like now? I mean, everything you show in your videos seems so fun. And… do you still remember Mom?”
Cara’s heart tugged at that last question. Her eyes softened, and she gave Jenna a knowing smile.
“Yeah, I do. It’s kind of blurry in places, but I remember her.” She paused. “It was really hard when we were separated, but my life now? It’s good. Natasha and y/n are amazing. They adopted me officially when I was 11, but I’ve been with them since I was 9. It feels like home.”
Jenna smiled at hearing that, her excitement palpable.
“I’m so glad! I mean, I’m with Dad and my stepmom, and they’re great too. But I always wondered what happened to you, where you ended up.”
“I wondered about you, too.” She laughed, realizing how similar they sounded. “I have questions too. Like… what’s your favorite thing to do? And your dog—what’s their name? They’re super cute, by the way.”
Jenna smiled, her eyes crinkling at the corners. "That's Zoomie."
"Zoomie," Cara echoed, giggling. "I like it."
"Are you still in New York?" Jenna asked.
"No, actually we moved to Ohio. My family and I," Cara tucked a strand of hair behind her ear.
"You have brothers and sisters right?"
"I do, two brothers and two sisters," Cara nodded. "Also, my cousin lives with us. My grandparents too."
"Wow, that's a lot of people. Do you like living with so many people? I feel like I have so much privacy when it's just me and my parents."
"Well, it is a lot, but it's also pretty great," Cara explained. "So you don't have siblings?"
"Nah, I think my parents are good with just me," Jenna shrugged.
"Yeah. You seem really happy."
"I am," Jenna's smile was infectious. "It's nice talking to someone who knows what it's like."
"You mean, having a family who kept you?" Cara clarified.
"Yeah. Dad and Greer are great, but they can't really understand. I mean, they try, but..."
"Yeah, I get it." Cara nodded.
Jenna shifted slightly, her curiosity returning. "How old are you now? You’re like eighteen months older than me, right?"
"Yeah, I am fifteen," Cara confirmed. "Sixteen in a couple of months."
"Crazy," Jenna said, a slight laugh in her voice. "I’m fourteen now. It’s weird, right? I mean, we’re so close in age but lived totally different lives."
Cara nodded. "Yeah, but it kind of feels like we’re picking up where we left off." Cara leaned back against her pillows. "I don't want to hang up. It's like I want to know so much about you. The last time I saw you, you would cling to me all the time. With your little pigtails and pacifier. You had that thing until you were three."
Jenna laughed. "Yeah, well, you had a blankie. That's what Mom called it."
"I did!" Cara's eyes lit up. Jenna seemed to have good memories.
"Do you still have it?"
"No, I lost that thing a long time ago," Cara said. "What about your stuffed elephant? I remember that was your favorite."
Jenna's smile faltered a bit. "Um, I lost that. I actually didn't see it again after we left you."
Cara felt a twinge of sadness for her sister.
"Do you... remember more about her?" Jenna asked quietly. "Mom?"
"Yeah. Sometimes, when I was little, I would dream about her." Cara swallowed. "I'd like to think she's out there living a good life."
"Yeah, me too," Jenna nodded, her expression serious.
"Can I tell you something?" Cara whispered, her heart hammering in her chest.
"Of course."
"When we were separated... I thought you were gone forever," Cara said quietly. "I mean, we were sisters and they separated us."
"I know." Jenna's voice was barely audible. "I thought the same thing. I'd ask Dad and Grandma about you. They could never truly give answers. Dad always said he was working to get everything in order to be able to take you too but by the time he was able to find contacts you had been adopted."
"I always wished we had been together," Cara admitted. "I know that's stupid, but we were all each other had."
"No, I get it," Jenna said.
"You seem like a cool kid, Jenna."
"So do you." Jenna smiled, her eyes softening.
"Well, I should let you go." Cara looked away from the screen.
"Yeah, my dad will be coming to check on me soon," Jenna said, the sound of voices in the background. "Can we make this a weekly thing or something?"
"Yes! I'd like that a lot." Cara beamed.
"Awesome, me too." 
They’d exchanged more information about each other before hanging up. 
Cara sat in the quiet of her room after the call ended, staring at her phone, her thumb still hovering over the “end call” button even though the screen had long since gone dark. The reality of what just happened began to sink in. Jenna—her little sister—was real, alive, and out there, living a life she had never known. The conversation replayed in her mind, their easy connection surprising her as if they hadn’t spent years apart.
She leaned back on her bed, her heart swelling with a mix of emotions she could hardly name. Part of her was overwhelmed—joy, relief, even sadness—all tangled together. There was a time she thought she’d never see Jenna again, that she was just a memory Cara would hold onto in pieces, fuzzy and distant. Now, here she was, a real person with a life of her own, and they were talking like it hadn’t been years since they were ripped apart.
Cara let out a breath she hadn’t realized she was holding, her eyes drifting to the window where the evening light was fading. We were all each other had, she had said, and it was true. For so long, Cara had convinced herself it was okay, that her new family had filled the void. But the truth was, there was always that small piece missing—the one Jenna used to fill. Now, with just one conversation, that space didn’t feel so empty anymore.
A soft smile crept onto her face as she thought about how similar they were, despite everything. Jenna’s smile, her laugh, the way she spoke—so familiar yet new. It felt like a second chance at something Cara hadn’t realized she’d been waiting for.
She pulled her knees to her chest, resting her chin on them as she stared at her phone, Jenna’s last message still glowing on the screen. Weekly calls. It sounded so simple, but it meant everything to Cara. She wasn’t alone in her past anymore—she had someone who understood in ways Natasha and you, as much as she loved you, never truly could.
***********
A few weeks later...
The house was quiet this time of night. All of the younger kids were asleep so it gave her the perfect opportunity to speak with you. She stood in front of your bedroom door, hesitating for a moment before lightly knocking. Her palms were slightly sweaty, her nerves buzzing in the pit of her stomach. She had been thinking about this for weeks now, trying to find the right time to bring it up. Tonight felt right—after all the calls with Jenna, the questions swirling in her head, it was time to talk to you.
“Come in,” Natasha’s voice called from the other side.
Cara pushed open the door slowly, her eyes immediately landing on the both of you winding down for the night. Natasha was slipping into her favorite t-shirt, while you were already sitting on the edge of the bed, moisturizing after a shower.
“Hey, Babygirl, everything okay?”
“Yeah,” Cara said quickly, her voice a little too tight. She shifted awkwardly in the doorway, suddenly feeling a bit nervous. “I just… I want to talk to you both about something. Is now okay?”
Natasha, now fully dressed for bed, exchanged a glance with you before she nodded.
“Of course, come in,” Natasha said, her voice soft with concern. “What’s on your mind?”
Cara entered the room, sitting down in the chair next to your bed. She hesitated, then decided to just say it.
"So I know this might seem strange, and I can't stop thinking about it," she began. "I don't want you guys to be angry or anything."
"Oh my god, are you pregnant?" You asked.
Cara's face flushed with embarrassment, her heart beating erratically in her chest. "No!" She shook her head vehemently, her cheeks turning a deep crimson.
"Oh thank goodness," You sighed with relief, clutching Natasha's hand for support.
"What's wrong, sweetheart?" Natasha asked, her brows furrowed.
Cara took a deep breath, steadying herself before she continued. "Well, a month ago someone reached out to me on Instagram. A girl. Her name is Jenna and she's fourteen. She's my sister."
"She's my little sister. The one I told you about before," Cara continued nervously. She could feel her palms sweating as the words hung in the air. "I know I should’ve told you sooner," She said quickly, her voice rising with a mix of panic and defense. "But I didn’t know how you’d react! I mean, I’ve been talking to her for weeks now, and it’s not like I was hiding it on purpose, I just… I didn’t want you to think I was doing something wrong. And—"
“Cara,” You interrupted gently, sitting up on the bed and reaching out a hand to stop her. “Breathe. We’re not mad.”
Cara blinked, her breath hitching. “You’re… not?”
Natasha, who had been listening quietly, shook her head, her face softening. “Of course not. We’re just surprised, that’s all. This is a big deal for you.”
Cara let out a shaky breath, her hands fidgeting with the sleeve of her hoodie. “I-I thought you’d be upset or worried that I was talking to someone I didn’t really know…”
“We know about Jenna, sweetheart,” You said, your voice calm. “You told us about her before. We understand why this matters to you.”
Cara’s shoulders relaxed slightly, but the nervous energy still simmered under the surface. “I just… I didn’t want you to think I was trying to replace you or my life here.” Her voice wavered. “I’ve always felt so lucky to have you both, and I don’t want you to think that changes just because I found her.”
You gave her a reassuring nod.
"Babygirl," Natasha said, moving over and taking Cara's hand. "You're allowed to want this."
Cara felt her chest tighten at Natasha’s words, the anxiety that had been building inside her for weeks slowly starting to ease. “I’ve just… missed her. I didn’t even realize how much until we started talking. And I want to get to know her. I want her to know me. She's a lot like me. I mean she's really great and I know you guys would like her. ”
You nodded, smiling softly. “That makes sense, Cara. We get it.”
Cara bit her lip, her fingers twisting in her lap as she worked up the courage for what she wanted to say next. “I want to meet her.”
You and Natasha shared a quick look before you turned back to Cara.
"How does that work?"
"She says she's been speaking with her parents. They're willing for us to meet if you are cool with it. They still live in New York."
"So what does that mean? How would it work?" Natasha asked.
"Her parents want us to have a family meeting, all together. They'll explain how everything works," Cara said.
You nodded, a smile pulling at your lips. "Okay, then. That sounds reasonable."
"Are you sure?" Cara's eyes darted between the two of you. "You're not just saying that because I'm being a pain in the ass, right?"
"You're not," You assured her.
"Okay." Cara gave you both a grateful smile, her shoulders slumping as the tension eased from her body. "Thank you."
You returned her smile, reaching over to take her other hand.
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ja-khajay · 1 year ago
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hiii! In regards to the "Guillermo del Toro Says “We Have to Rescue” Studio Animation From “Emoji-Style Behavior”" article/statement, do u have examples of animation that specifically is & is not this type of expression/animation? Bc it's rly hard for me to actually picture this and like I need examples ahaha
Disclaimer - I was not at this specific talk, so I don't have the full context and I know from reliable sources - friends of mine that DID attend it - that it's not all he said there, so that article is pretty much only relying spicy chosen bits. That being said, I will focus on this paragraph.
Getting more specific, he went on to detail what he despises about certain lazy proclivities in commercial animation, notably how characters and emotions are “codified into a sort of teenage rom-com, almost emoji-style behavior.” He added, “[If] I see a character raising his fucking eyebrow, or crossing his arms, having a sassy pose — oh, I hate that shit. [Why] does everything act as if they’re in a sitcom? I think it is emotional pornography. All the families are happy and sassy and quick, everyone has a one-liner. Well, my dad was boring. I was boring. Everybody in my family was boring. We had no one-liners. We’re all fucked up. That’s what I want to see animated. I would love to see real life in animation. I actually think it’s urgent. think it’s urgent to see real life in animation.”
What he talks about here is something I find omnipresent in modern American animation, or from studios that are funded by and/or trying to sell to americans (ex: Illumination McGuff). Here del Toro specifically mentions characters and emotions and how they are codified, which would include how characters are written, how animated their emotions and body language are, how they interact... He also mentions studio animation, an important distinction - this does not include indie animators!
A few things, adding * to those he's specifically calling out here, and more of my own that are not stated but I feel match the style
*one liners
*the "dreamworks face"
*sassy attitude
*quick banter
*taking poses
looking into the camera
overtly smooth, cartoony body language
characters explaining their emotions, plot resolutions around this
I will now get to examples, starting by a comparison between two animated films. Both of these films are contemporary, family-audience, french animated films. They share similarities in setting, being medieval fantasy fairytales about female heroes. One of these films was made with an american audience in mind (Pil), and the other caters to a french audience (Dragon Princess). You can compare how the characters act in both trailers:
youtube
youtube
Try and only focus on dialog, body language and expressions, barring art style and story!
Feature films that, in my opinion, also fit that "emoji style behaviour" (* for those I have not fully watched) any why:
Turning Red: the sass, the one liners, body language, camera looking, quick banter, plot resolution with characters explaining their emotions. The whole film fits
Puss in Boots: The last wish: sass, one liners, body language, banter, characters explaining their emotions. Scenes like Puss meeting his past lives and the dog's dialog are strong offenders
The emperor's new groove: sass, one liners, posing, banter
Encanto: sass, posing, banter; the explaining their emotions to drive the plot is ridiculously present to the point where I'd say del Toro was vagueing that one with the family example
Klaus: posing, banter, body language, explaining their emotions
*Nimona: sass, posing, banter, expressions...I only watched the trailer so can't say much but it leans HARD into the rapid fire quip territory with emotional resolution
*Trolls: sass, posing, banter, body language, camera looking...
Regarding films that do not do this, the quick answer would be...watch foreign (=not american) and/or older films. Nowadays with internet a massive catalogue is available, although the USA has such a monopoly on animation via its advertising budget other countries don't have that those films can be harder to find especially if you only use english-speaking internet.
As most studio animation is for a young or family audience and my entire example list above is, I will give some recommendations of films that are also for such an audience, but with older and worldwide picks. Some of these films are fully available on YouTube (although not in english always), so I'll be linking that when possible!
Mom is pouring rain (France, 2020s) (trailer): A shorter film about a little girl sent to live with her grandmother while her mom heals from depression. Has emotions front and center but expressed and animated in a way typical of modern french animation, with cartoony designs but subtler, more "boring" acting
The little prince and the eight headed dragon (Japan, 1960s): Beautifully animated in a style distinct from anime, this is a simple folktale adaptation. Fully on YouTube, albeit in its original english dub who's quality is frankly not great.
Next! (UK, 1990s): Stop motion short by an animator who specifically explores subtler, harder to animate expressions, as well as the art of theater, represented here by a Shakespear puppet playing out his works as a one-man show.
Ramayana (India, 1990s): Animated version of the legend of the same name, coupling a Ghibli art style with your ancient legend's large scale battles and polite heroes.
Ne Zha (China, 2010s)(trailer): that trailer is dead serious, it's actually a pretty damn silly movie! Including this one because as a big CGI animated film it's interesting to compare to what Pixar/Dreamworks/etc is doing.
...I'm realizing that I included a whole lot of animated folk tales so for modern chinese animation I'll also name Legend of Hei (2020s)(trailer), an original fantasy film with indie origins and a whole lot of over the top action.
As for films from the US that do NOT match that style? As a country the US has a rich history of animation asides of Disney! I personally grew up on Tex Avery and Looney Tunes cartoons who (pre-90s) are great examples of this.
For more adult films, I'll link my list of mature animation recommendations!
My ask remains opens for any clarifications :) have a nice day!
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baileypie-writes · 11 months ago
Note
💕🩷hello ! I wanted to ask if you could possibly do more velvet and venner with a younger sibling?
Ok so how will velvet and venner react to their younger sibling (who was born with actual talent of singing) being use by another famous singer just as they use the trolls to become famous, like, the singer is stealing the younger sibling's talent to have a beautiful voice and keep getting famous and the younger sibling is becoming pale and weak (just as Floyd was) and maybe velvet and venner getting along with the trolls to save their younger sibling.
Hope you could understand, sorry if I'm sending this in the wrong time. Take your time and hope you could do it, if not then it's completely ok!
A/N ~ Omg, I love this idea! I decided to make this into multiple parts, since one would be too long. Part 2 should be out pretty soon. Hope you enjoy!
~I Want to Break Free~
Velvet and Veneer + Younger Sibling!Reader
Part 2 here!
Fandom: Trolls 3: Band Together
Relationship: Familial
Synopsis: Velvet and Veneer find out that your talent is being stolen by a famous singer. So they team up with the trolls to save their little sibling.
Warnings: Reader being tortured(not detailed/graphic), cringe
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~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Veneer noticed it first. You were pale, and seemed weaker. He told Velvet, and both were concerned. Of course they asked you what was wrong, but you just claimed that you were tired.
This wasn’t exactly a lie. You were very tired. But the reason why is what you couldn’t tell your siblings.
You were born with a natural singing talent, unlike Velvet and Veneer. You always viewed this skill as a blessing. But for the past week, you wish you didn’t have it.
~~~
It all started when you posted a video of yourself singing a song by your favorite artist, Lemon Pop, on the internet. You went viral, and even got noticed by her. You were lucky enough to meet her in real life, and you even thought you became friends. Unfortunately, you were very wrong.
Lemon Pop was a fraud, just like your siblings were. She was inspired by how they stole the talent of trolls, and wanted to do the same. But after using a troll, she decided that it wasn’t enough for her. So after she saw your video, she knew immediately that she wanted your talent. She lured you in with her friendly facade, and when she finally had you close, she let her real personality shine. She’s a rude, manipulative and straight up abusive person. Way worse than how Velvet was in her glory days.
She forces you to attend all her performances, and stealing your talent before going on stage. She always threatens to ruin your life if you refuse or tell anyone. So not knowing what else to do, you play the role as her friend.
It’s so painful when everyone calls you lucky. You’d think that being best friends with a pop star would be the greatest thing in the world. But after feeling your talent leave your body in a painful, exhausting process for what felt like the millionth time, you wish you’d never posted that video of you singing.
~~~
“Where’s (name)?” Veneer asked.
“They’re with that ‘Lemon Pop’ girl again.” Velvet responded. Almost like that summoned her, the channel that was playing on the TV started mentioning her.
“Once again, Lemon Pop’s song is at the top of the music charts!” The announcer stated. It went on to show a clip of Lemon Pop receiving an award. You were there in the background, but anyone who knew you could tell that you were not well.
“Did (name) dye their hair?” Veneer asked.
“Uh, I don’t think so. Why?” Velvet responded.
“Because there’s some white in it.”
Velvet turned to the TV, and saw that he was correct. But your hair wasn’t the only odd thing about you. You looked exhausted, way worse than you seemed before. And for some reason, you were wearing long sleeves, long pants and gloves. It was warm in Mount Rageous, so your outfit was strange. Even more so, because you were visibly sweating a lot.
Before Velvet and Veneer could question your state to each other, loud knocking could be heard from outside their window, followed by a familiar voice.
“Velvet! Veneer! It’s us, Brozone!”
They thought they’d never see those faces again. It was the trolls. The ones that ruined their careers, and sent them to prison. They were banging on the window frantically.
Velvet stomped over to them. “What the hell are you doing here? Come to ruin our lives again?” She spat.
“Ah, Velvet. That was our fault. We tortured some of them, remember?” Veneer placed a hand on her shoulder, attempting to calm her down.
“I know I remember…” Floyd mumbled.
“Whatever! What do you want?” Velvet slapped her brother’s hand away.
A small, weak troll suddenly emerged from the group. Their hands and feet were sparkly and transparent, and they had a large ponytail of previously red hair, which was now mostly white. “It’s about your sibling, (name).”
Velvet and Veneer’s eyes softened, and their expressions changed to ones of worry. “What about them?” Asked Velvet, defensively.
“What you did to Floyd… they’re going through the same thing.” The troll said.
The twins looked at each other, then back at them. “What? What do you mean? Who even are you?” Velvet snapped.
The troll sighed. “I’m Rosetta. I used to be Lemon Pop’s prisoner. She stole my singing talent, just like you did to Floyd. But I wasn’t enough for her. So she tricked (name) into becoming friends, so she could steal their’s instead. I got Brozone to help me find you, and get you to help them.”
Velvet and Veneer were speechless. They looked back at the TV. You were still visible in the background. Now your appearance made sense. They looked at Lemon Pop, smiling and waving to all their fans. And even though they did the same thing she was doing, they couldn’t help but be pissed. You were their sibling, and she was torturing you.
They turned back to Rosetta, pure rage clear on their faces.
“Let’s go save them.”
(To be continued…)
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
~~baileypie-writes
261 notes · View notes
onceuponaoneshotfanfic · 5 months ago
Text
Don't You Worry Your Pretty Little Mind
I'll Write Your Name Chapter 8
Roy Kent x Latina!Popstar!Reader
6.8k words
Warnings: Language, mentions of drinking, slut-shaming and mentions of an age gap, me not knowing how making an album works and not letting it ruin my fun, judgey internet trolls being judgey, lots and lots of pining
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“Can I come see you in the studio?”
I looked up from the Scrabble board to find Roy staring at me, that hard stare of his that often accompanied a long silence. Sydney was curled up in his lap, enjoying a nice ear massage while we played a quiet game. Somewhere in the background, a movie neither of us was paying any attention to was playing, filling the room with something more than our lack of conversation.
Something had felt different when we returned from the lake. Somewhere between our heated make out session and his weird indifference to being the subject of my song, something had shifted. It was probably just me, I conceded. It was me overthinking and worrying that Roy was going to figure out how I felt. If anything, I was probably starting to weird him out with my awkwardness.
“In the studio?” I repeated, cocking my head at him. “Is Keeley bugging you for pictures of something other than a Scrabble board?”
Roy smirked. “No,” he scoffed. “I was just thinking, you’ve seen me at work. A lot, actually. How about you let me see you at work, sunshine?”
My gaze fell back to the board, to the word wrinkle that Roy had just put down. The album was coming along well, I admitted to myself. In fact, the majority of the songs were brand new as opposed to reworked lyrics from my old albums. Not that Roy Kent needed to know, but he was apparently quite the muse. In the back of my mind, I knew he’d hear all of the songs eventually, but the little nervous part of me wasn’t quite ready for it- especially for him to hear them live in the studio.
And yet, those brown eyes had me murmuring, “Sure, Kent.”
He grinned- one of those real, joyful grins- and turned his attention back to the Scrabble board. “Maybe tomorrow?”
My mind raced, trying to remember what song we’d be recording; I couldn’t remember for the life of me. “Uh, yeah.” I fiddled with the ends of my hair, trying to offer Roy a casual smile. “Sounds fun.”
~
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Roy leaned into the leather couch along the back wall. Did she always look this nervous when she was about to record- or was it because of him? No, he scolded himself, rolling his eyes at his wandering thoughts, the same ones that kept wandering to that afternoon at the lake, when she’d sat on his lap for the benefit of some paparazzi and kissed him hard enough to almost make him believe it.
Fuck off, he told himself as he crossed his arms. She was being forced to create an album that was supposedly about a man she wasn’t actually in love with; of course she looked uncomfortable. He’d be foolish to think it was anything else.
“You ready?” Her producer- a loud, lanky guy named Alex- spoke into the microphone that echoed into the recording booth.
She nodded, brushing her hair out of her face. Roy liked seeing her look so casual in a sweatshirt and minimal makeup; she was always stunning, whether dolled up, or in her Greyhounds gear, or in pyjamas. But this look- so comfortable and domestic- was his favorite by far. As if she could feel his soft gaze, her eyes flickered to him. He offered her a tiny smile, trying to tell her how excited he was to see her at work. She offered a shy grin in return and straightened up before returning her focus to her producer.
“Let’s do it,” came her confident voice.
The producer shot her a thumbs up and hit a few buttons, filling the studio with a dreamy tune that immediately warmed every inch of Roy's body. She swayed a little, eyes closed, feeling the music, before she opened her mouth and her eyes- eyes that went straight to Roy.
I feel so high school every time I look at you
I wanna find you in a crowd just to hide from you
Roy couldn’t help but crack a small grin. She’d mentioned at some point how people often said she sounded like a girl that never left high school behind- and now here she was, proudly proclaiming that yeah, she felt like that girl, at least sometimes. He was learning that not only was she fully aware of the things people said about her, not only did she not let it affect her, but she could lean into and make fun of herself. There was something charming and, frankly, kind of sexy about it.
And in a blink of a crinkling eye
I'm sinking, our fingers entwined
Cheeks pink in the twinkling lights
Tell me 'bout the first time you saw me
I'll drink what you think, and I'm high
From smoking your jokes all damn night
The brink of a wrinkle in time
Bittersweet sixteen suddenly
The warmth in Roy’s chest became more of a burning when he heard the words wrinkle in time. The book he’d read on their holiday, one of his favorite books, the one he’d admitted to having read countless times. She’d mentioned it in her song. Roy quickly shook off the excitement that tingled in his fingertips as he listened to her sing about American Pie and feeling like high school; she was adding in details about him, he reasoned. She had to make it seem like these songs were about him, after all. Of course she’d sprinkle in real details so people wouldn’t be able to guess that the songs were about other men, real romances she’d had.
It was all part of the act.
Still, he couldn’t help but grin when she sang about him- or whoever the true subject of the song was- knowing how to ball while she knows Aristotle. It was cute, silly, the words of an infatuated young woman. Lucky man, some tiny voice in the back of Roy’s head thought as he tried not to feel a smidge of jealousy towards whoever had apparently pulled her into the backseat of a car.
“She’s great, ain’t she?”
Roy tore his eyes away from the singer to find her producer grinning at him. He nodded to the empty seat by the controls. Glancing back at the singer, Roy stood and took the new spot, closer to the glass that separated her from them.
Alex continued, “You must be something, Roy Kent. She’s a workaholic, that’s a known fact, but wow. She’s been nonstop these days. I’m getting phone calls and texts and voice memos at two in the morning with nearly completed songs.” He raised his eyebrows at Roy. “M’girlfriend’s starting to get worried,” he joked. Glancing back at the still-singing star, he went on, “But seriously. I’ve worked with her for years, and I’ve never seen her so inspired.” He nudged Roy. “Must be love,” he hummed.
The song finished, her voice soft and wistful and her eyes on Roy. She smiled at him, something that looked like a real smile on her face, with flushed cheeks and bright eyes. Roy couldn’t help but smile back, ignoring every tight feeling in his chest, those tight feelings that kept growing and growing no matter how much he fought them.
“Yeah,” he managed to huff. “Must be.”
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~
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 Normally, I wouldn’t be caught dead scrolling through the hate and gossip that usually accompanied my name online. But for whatever reason, after a rehearsal for my tour, I couldn’t help the way my eyes stayed glued to my phone, to all the jokes and headlines declaring that Roy Kent was too old for me, that he was a senior citizen and I was a child.
“Must be a slow news cycle,” April chirped as she watched me stretch in front of the dance studio mirrors.
I sat my phone down so I could make myself focus on my cooldown. “It’s stupid,” I grumbled, sitting with my feet out in front of me. “It’s not like I’m sixteen and he’s thirty. I’m a full-grown woman. He’s got what, a decade on me?” I scowled at my reflection. “I write about my exes, they tell me to grow up. I date a nice, stable guy with a good job, and they tell me I’m a baby.” My deep sigh filled the empty dance studio. “It’s like I can’t do anything right.”
April’s face softened as she sat on the floor beside me. “It’s nothing you haven’t seen before,” she reminded me. “They always have something to say about you, babe.”  After a pause, her eyes sparkled. “So, you think Kent’s a nice guy, huh?”
I pretended my heart didn’t skip a beat as I rolled my eyes. “He’s a good friend,” I huffed. “And I hate to think that his own reputation is getting sullied by associating with me. Especially since-” The words caught in my throat before tumbling out. “-since none of this is real.”
“What about your reputation?” April asked quietly, watching me with those gentle eyes that I always hated being on the receiving end of, gentle eyes that were far too familiar.
“My reputation…” I sighed. “Let’s be real, it’s always going to have problems.” I laughed hollowly and picked my phone back up, resuming my scrolling. “But if I’m being really honest, April, if I was in a relationship- an actual relationship- as healthy as the one I’m pretending to be in, well all the shit they say might be worth-”
I froze as words began to bloom and swirl in my head. Ignoring April’s questioning look, I scrambled to my feet to hurry and grab a notebook before those words began to disappear. Lucky, I was able to start scribbling down my thoughts, thoughts that multiplied rather than vanish. My pen continued to fly as April chuckled and loaded me into her car, as she drove me home, as I sat in front of my piano all night. The pen was still moving the next morning as Roy followed April and me into the recording studio, where Alex greeted me with that familiar giant smile.
“You are not still fiddling with the lyrics. It's already perfect,” he scoffed. He shook Roy’s hand as though the two of them were old pals now. “Your girl kept me up all night with this new song,” he huffed. He gave me a pointed look. “Steph looked about ready to kill me when I got out of bed to head down to the home studio.”
“Steph’ll be fine when I thank her in the liner notes,” I hummed, waving him off, thinking of all the other late nights my insomniac tendencies had caused his poor girlfriend. “Now, do you have my music or not?”
The playful annoyance on my producer’s face was replaced with glee almost immediately. “Here, give it a listen.” He placed some headphones on my head and hit a button.
I closed my eyes and tilted my head back, letting my head fill with the twinkling music, something that felt like young love and hope and romance. It was exactly what I’d imagined in my mind- but better. For the millionth time since we’d started collaborating three albums ago, Alex had done pure magic with just a few manic voice memos sent obnoxiously late at night.
“Perfect,” I sighed after only about thirty seconds. I handed him the headphones back and nodded. “Let’s try it.”
As Alex prepared to play the music, I grabbed Roy’s hand and gave him my coyest smile, replaying Keeley’s reminders to really sell this thing in my mind; my chronically online producer was the perfect audience for a little PDA. “Come on, Roycito. I want you to hear this one.”
Roy shot me a curious look and followed me into the recording booth, watching me sit down before joining me. I kept his hand in mine, intertwining our fingers as I nodded to Alex to play the song. When the glittering music echoed inside the booth, Roy turned to me, the corners of his mouth turning up and his eyebrows raised.
Keeping my eyes on his, I opened my mouth and began to sing-
Flamingo pink Sunrise Boulevard
Clink, clink Being this young is art
Aquamarine Moonlit swimming pool
What if all I need is you?
As the song continued, I offered Roy my best smile, the one I realized I wore so naturally when he was around. He returned it easily, with sparkling brown eyes and pink cheeks. Out of the corner of my eye, I could see Alex recording us with his phone, mischievous grin on his face. If this was real- if we were real- this would make an adorable video, one I’d cherish and play over and over. Me, singing a song I’d written about Roy, for Roy, pure infatuation all over both of our faces.
At least it would look good on our socials.
But if I'm all dressed up
They might as well be looking at us
And if they call me a slut
You know it might be worth it for once
And if I'm gonna be drunk
Might as well be drunk in love
Roy’s eyebrows flew up when I got to the title of the song. I wasn’t surprised; sure, I wasn’t the sweet little nineteen-year-old I once was- I openly swore and wrote songs about sex now- but I’d never called myself something so crude before. But as I sang it, I found I liked the way the word contrasted against the romantic dreaminess of the song; it kind of reminded me of Roy, a juxtaposition of gruff hardness and tender sweetness.
Send the code, he's waiting there
The sticks and stones they throw froze mid-air
Everyone wants him
That was my crime
The wrong place at the right time
And I break down, then he's pullin' me in
In a world of boys, he's a gentleman
On the word gentleman, I reached out and tapped the tip of Roy’s nose with my index finger. His skin was warm, and I swore the pink in his cheeks deepened. Some small, timid part of me was scared that he was uncomfortable with the attention, with being implied as the muse for this song after his reaction to “Sweet Nothing”. But something in his bright eyes and soft smile told me that maybe, just maybe, he was enjoying himself.
Figuring that he was also playing things up for my producer’s benefit, I let myself lean into the performance, offering Roy flirtatious smiles and bumping his shoulder coyly as I sang to him.
Half asleep
Taking your time
In the tangerine, neon light
This is luxury
You're not saying you're in love with me
But you're going to
Half awake
Taking your chance
It's a big mistake
I said it might blow up in your pretty face
I'm not saying do it anyway
But you're going to
And if they call me a slut
You know it might be worth it for once
And if I'm gonna be drunk
Might as well be drunk in love
Roy shook his head as the music faded. “Fucking amazing,” he murmured, too softly for the microphones to pick up. He leaned forward and kissed my cheek, leaving an undeniable warm spot where his lips touched my skin. “That’s a fucking hit.”
I ducked my head, suddenly overwhelmed by the look in his eyes. Remembering where I was, I looked back into the control room, where Alex had a wide grin and April wore a curious expression. Ignoring my assistant’s raised eyebrows, I nodded to my producer. “Well?”
“It’s perfect,” he chuckled into the intercom. “Seriously, I love it.” He cocked his head at me. “Needs a new title though. Maybe ‘Lovesick’ or ‘Love-Struck’?”
I knew this conversation would be coming. “No,” I said with a small shake of my head. “It’s ‘Slut!’. I don’t want any other title.”
“Kid,” huffed my producer, calling me the nickname he knew made me roll my eyes. “This is a radio hit. Song of the summer. But you’re not going to get any airplay with that title. You're already fighting the fact that you call yourself a slut in the chorus. Don’t shoot yourself in the foot here.”
“No.” I sat up taller, keenly aware of Roy’s arm pressed against mine. “If they can spend the last decade calling me a slut, then I can too. They don’t want to hear me sing it, maybe they shouldn’t have said it.”
Alex groaned and pinched the bridge of his nose. “Fine,” he grumbled as he stood up. “’m gonna go grab some water and cry about the fact that you’ve just cost us our millionth Billboard top spot.”
I rolled my eyes with a grin; he always gave in when I felt passionate about something. “Don’t worry,” I assured him as he left the studio. “I’ll write you another hit.”
“Fucking badass,” came a sigh next to me. When I turned my head, Roy was staring at me with raised eyebrows and a slacked jaw. The corner of his mouth turned upwards in a lopsided grin. “Sticking up for what you want, flipping the bird at the people who talk shit about you. You’re a badass, sunshine,” he chuckled, planting another kiss on my cheek.
“Thanks,” I murmured, ignoring the fact that he'd kissed my cheek without a real audience to witness it. “So you liked the song?”
He nodded earnestly. “Fuck yeah,” he assured me. “Tell me you’re going to do that one live. It’d be fucking magic.”
I paused, glancing at April though the window; she was watching us with something that looked way too much like a smirk. After narrowing my eyes at her, I turned back to Roy. “Well, I was kind of toying with the idea of previewing the album during the tour. Like surprising some of the shows with a new song.”
Those thick eyebrows flew up. “You’ve gotta do it. People are going to lose their shit when they hear these songs.” He shook his head and leaned forward to plant a tender kiss to my temple. “What a fucking mind, indeed.”
Fuck fuck fuck, I thought as I glanced away. This crush, this stupid little crush, was becoming too much for me to handle. Roy Kent was too supportive, too nice, too kind, not to mention too fucking handsome. Why couldn’t he be the moody jackass I first met in Keeley’s office? Why did he have to be one of the most genuinely good people I’d ever met? This whole thing might blow up in my pretty face if I wasn’t careful.
But when I looked back at Roy’s sparkling brown eyes, I felt like it might really be worth it for once.
~
“Hey Roy-o.” Keeley bounded over, wearing something with far too many sequins, and gave Roy a friendly hug. “Where’s your better half?”
Roy rolled his eyes, giving Keeley a small squeeze before letting go. “She’s over with April,” he answered, not bothering to correct Keeley about calling the popstar his ‘better half’. He nodded across Jamie’s living room, where the singer and assistant were huddled in a corner and giggling. As if she could feel his gaze, those familiar eyes flittered around the party until they met his; he swore her smile widened.
Keeley's bright voice interrupted his thoughts. “Have you gotten to hear any of the new album yet?”
“I have,” he said, unable to hide the hint of bragging in his voice. “It’s fucking brilliant so far, actually.” His eyes returned to the popstar- who was already glancing over at him.
“Think she’d honor us with a preview?” Keeley teased, waggling her eyebrows at Roy. “It’d be nice for Jamie’s piano to get used for once.” She wrinkled her nose playfully. “Don’t know why he bought the damn thing in the first place,” she added.
Roy hesitated for a moment as he looked around the party. Jamie had decided to throw a party to show off the pool he’d built in the backyard after the end of the season; after a day spent in and out of the pool, the house was packed with the Greyhounds and their significant others, wearing cover ups and sweatshirts over swimsuits and newly acquired sunburns and laughing over drinks. The “power couple” had, of course, come together, with Roy opting to wear his usual black and his ‘girlfriend’ in a sweet summer dress that looked like it belonged on a magazine cover. Unsurprisingly, she looked lovely as ever, chatting with everyone with ease and looking as if she belonged. She was like that in every room, Roy realized; always relaxed, charming, making whoever she was with feel like they were the most important person in the room. For the millionth time since they’d met, Roy felt awed that the woman he’d thought would be a complete brat and diva was actually one of the most genuine people he’d ever met. And that knowledge had him growing more and more protective of her by the day.
Because that’s what friends are for- right?
“I mean…” Roy cleared his throat. “I guess if she fucking wants to-”
“Great!” Before Roy could finish his thought, Keeley had grabbed his wrist and began dragging him across the room, a movement Roy was surprisingly irked by. She didn’t let go until they’d reached the popstar, who offered Keeley that sheepish smile she always wore around the model. “Hey!” Keeley chirped.
The singer accepted the hug Keeley wrapped her in. “Hi, Keeley,” she murmured. Her body seemed to soften when she realized Roy was looking at her. “Sorry you had to miss the pool party. Rebecca said you had to go rescue a photoshoot or something?”
Keeley nodded eagerly, seemingly pleased that the popstar was engaging her in real conversation. “Yeah, the model was being a bit difficult, so I had to go talk her down. Bummer to miss out on all the swimming, but what can ya do? It's not easy being the boss.” She nudged the popstar. “Well, you know how it is. You're basically running the music industry these days.”
“Oh, I don't know about that-”
Roy rolled his eyes and wrapped an arm around the popstar’s shoulders so he could tug her close. “Oh fuck off with the modesty,” he gently chided. “You’re on top of the fucking world.” He turned to Keeley, holding his head high with pride. “Have you seen her tour numbers? Fucking impossible to get tickets to the show now.” He quirked an eyebrow at the singer. “Good thing I've got an in, otherwise I'd be missing the event of the summer.”
“Think I could manage to score a ticket?” Keeley teased with a wink; funny, Roy didn't feel those usual butterflies.
“Definitely.” The popstar leaned into Roy's touch; fuck, she always made it feel so natural.
Ignoring the fluttering in the deepest pit of his stomach, Roy gave her a squeeze. “Speaking of the show…” Roy cleared his throat and lowered his voice. “Any chance you'd want to preview one of those new songs? Tartt’s got a piano.”
Her eyes widened for a fraction of a second. “I dunno, Roycito,” she hummed, scrunching her nose in thought.
Immediately, Roy shook his head. “You don't have to,” he whispered, loud enough for only her to hear. “You absolutely don't fucking have to.”
She chewed on her bottom lip for a moment- her thinking face, the one Roy had gotten quite used to while watching her work at the lake. He briefly wondered if she was aware of it. “Sure,” she finally said. “I’ve got one I can share.”
In the blink of an eye, the entire party was squeezed around Jamie’s never-been-used piano, eagerly awaiting the opportunity to hear the unreleased song. She looked so at ease as she sat down, all smiles and giggles as the Greyhounds chattered about what songs they liked, teasingly asking if this song was about Roy, speculating if this meant there was a new album coming soon.
Before the singer could even pluck one key, Roy barked out, “Oi, no fucking recording. I see one fucking phone, I’m punching dicks.” When he looked back at the piano, he was greeted with a smile, the kind that was stifling full-on laughter. Roy smirked; he was good at making her laugh, he’d discovered. He gave her a small nod, letting her know that he was cheering her on.
With a deep breath, she looked down at the key and began to play gently, creating a warm tune that Roy hadn’t heard before. Immediately, he liked it and knew that, once again, she’d created a hit.
There's glitter on the floor after the party
Girls carrying their shoes down in the lobby
Candle wax and Polaroids on the hardwood floor
You and me from the night before, but
Don't read the last page
But I stay when you're lost, and I'm scared, and you're turning away
I want your midnights
But I'll be cleaning up bottles with you on New Year's Day
It was sweet, romantic, perfect. Roy didn’t bother hiding his grin as his shoulders relaxed, making him realize how tense he’d been before she started. Keeley seemed to have noticed, because she grinned up at him with raised eyebrows.
Not that Roy noticed, not when he was too busy watching the popstar and soaking in every word she sang.
Hold on to the memories
They will hold on to you
Hold on to the memories
They will hold on to you
Hold on to the memories
They will hold on to you
And I will hold on to you
Roy dared to tear his eyes away from the piano to peek at the reactions of his friends and his team. He watched as Colin wrapped an arm around Michael and leaned in close to his boyfriend; he noticed the way Jamie’s fingertips brushed against the inside of April’s wrist; he caught the tears forming in Rebecca’s eyes and her wistful expression; but none of the little moments made him smile the way the singer’s voice did.
Especially when she finally looked up from the piano to lock eyes with him.
Please don't ever become a stranger
Whose laugh I could recognize anywhere
Please don't ever become a stranger
Whose laugh I could recognize anywhere
As Roy’s chest tightened, Keeley leaned close and whispered, “It’s incredible, isn’t it?”
“Yeah,” Roy breathed, not looking at the model. “She is.”
Without another word, he left his spot next to Keeley to walk over to the piano and sit beside the singer, whose smile widened. She scooched closer to him, not missing a single key and never breaking eye contact. It was as if the room around them disappeared, as if they were back in their quiet little world by the lake, where nothing existed except the two of them and the music she created.
Don't read the last page
But I stay when it's hard, or it's wrong, or we're making mistakes
I want your midnights
But I'll be cleaning up bottles with you on New Year's Day
The moment her fingers lifted from the keys, Roy instinctively leaned close and pressed a chaste kiss to her lips, feeling her smile pressing against his. And he ignored the feeling that, for the first time, he might not be kissing her for the benefit of an audience.
~
When I pulled back from Roy's kiss, I was still smiling. Smiling at the song, smiling at the enthusiastic cheers from the Greyhounds, smiling at the awed look on Roy's bearded face.
But on the inside, I was screaming, wishing that the kiss he'd given me was as real as the feelings that grew inside me every day, the feelings I had poured into this song.
“That was fucking gorgeous,” Roy whispered in my ear, his warm breath tickling my skin. “Seriously, sunshine, I'm having a hard time picking a favorite song.”
All I could do was smile at Roy, with his sweet words and bright eyes, and murmur, “Thanks, Kent.”
As everyone else returned to mingling and chatting, Roy reached down and touched my hand gently. “Let’s go grab a drink.”
Plastic cup in one hand, Roy’s hand in the other, I followed the footballer through the house, offering my most dazzling smile as people commented on how much they liked the song. Eventually, I found Roy leading me up some stairs. Before I could ask him where we were going, he led me into a side bedroom and to the window. Once he pushed the window open, he nodded to me. 
“How about some fresh air?”
Suppressing my surprised grin, I climbed out the window after Roy, accepting his warm grip as he helped me out onto the roof overlooking Jamie’s backyard. The twinkling patio lights below echoed the emerging stars above, making it seem like Roy and I were floating somewhere in space; the sounds of shouts and laughter from the party reminded me that we were still on Earth.
“How’re you doing?”
Roy’s growling voice returned my thoughts from far-off galaxies. “Hmm?”
He shrugged and scooted closer, as if trying to keep me warm. “I know there’s been some shit about our age difference,” he said slowly, searching my face for a reaction. “I just wanted to make sure you’re okay.”
A hollow laugh spilled out of my chest. “Me? I’m fine. They spend years telling me to grow up, be more mature, stop spending all my time running around with boys. But here I am, with a man, a stable man, and suddenly I’m sixteen and need to be protected and need to be protected from big, bad Roy Kent.” I nudged him and took a sip of my beer. “I’m more concerned about you, actually. Everyone’s acting like you’re a dirty old man because of a couple photos of you grabbing my ass.”
“Honestly,” Roy chuckled. “I’m starting to feel like one.” A blush settled on his cheeks. “Sorry about that, by the way. Guess I got a bit carried away.”
I shook my head. “Don’t,” I assured him. “What did everyone think we’ve been doing, cuddling and holding hands? We’re supposed to be adults in an adult relationship. You’re Roy Kent. Anyone with a brain could assume we’re, well, you know.”
He sighed and wrapped a warm arm around my shoulders. “Yeah,” he agreed, “but I don’t like seeing your reputation take all these hits. That’s not the point of all this,” he reminded me.
“Kent,” I said slowly, fighting the urge to lean my head on his shoulder. “If the worst thing they can say about me is that my boyfriend is a smidge older than me, then this is the best my reputation has been in ages. It’s annoying, sure, but it’s not the worst thing they’ve ever said about me.”
“I guess,” Roy mumbled, tugging me closer. “Just… keep me posted on how you’re doing, alright? If we need to cool things down, or call it off, you let me know. I’ll handle Keeley and Lanie. You’re more important than any fucking plan, you know. Much more important.”
With those kind words, I gave in, leaning my head on his shoulder and watching the lights twinkling below us. For a little bit, I let myself forget all about the press, all about the beautiful ex-girlfriend I saw him whispering with while I sang, all about the party downstairs. Hell, I let myself forget all about the fact that this was a fake relationship with an undetermined but very real expiration date.
For a little bit, I let myself pretend that Roy Kent might love me back.
~
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Roy grinned as he watched her nose scrunch in concentration while she studied the chess board on his coffee table. After informing Roy that she’d never played chess before, he insisted on teaching the popstar before their early bedtime. She was spending the night at his place, something he realized was kind of rare; normally they were at her place, mostly because of Sydney the cat. But Sydney was staying with April (and probably Jamie too), plus Roy’s house was closer to the airport. 
The two of them would be leaving early in the morning for their flight- on her private jet- to Los Angeles, where they were due to celebrate her niece’s birthday. Roy felt apprehensive- he wasn’t the kind of guy who met families; even with Keeley, he’d only met her on a handful of occasions. But here he was, suitcase packed so he could fly halfway across the world and meet what his fake girlfriend described as “a typical loud Mexican family”. She’d spent the last week warning him about which uncles would try to get him drunk, about the nephews who were already obsessed with him, about how her mother was going to try to feed him the moment they walked through the door, and about how her very protective father and sister were both going to give him the third degree during their visit.
“They’d always thought I’d bring Dani Rojas if I ever brought an athlete home,” she had joked when he asked what they thought of the fake relationship so far. “Not an old British man.”
Even though this was all for show, so that there would be no suspicion from the press if she showed up to a major family event without her supposedly serious boyfriend, Roy still wanted to make a good impression. His own family pretty much consisted of his sister and Phoebe; there was something lovely about a big family, even one as loud and overbearing as she described to him.
“My folks are really looking forward to meeting you,” she hummed now as she finally moved a chess piece, looking comfortable in her criss-cross position, leaning her back against the couch. “You’re going to be the first boyfriend they’ve met in awhile.”
“Seriously?” Roy took his turn, trying not to smirk when he saw the disappointment on her face when she realized her move had set him up for victory. 
She snorted as they reset the board. “I mean, you’ve met Everett. Not exactly the kind of guy that parents like mine would be excited about. Drinks too much, pants too tight, total bad boy. Scared the living daylights out of my poor Catholic mother. Meeting him would've killed her.”
Roy fidgeted with the pawn he held. “But they’re excited for me? The old man who swears every other word?”
“They say I look happy,” she murmured, eyes on the board. “They’ve seen photos of us, they see that I’m not out partying like I used to. They think I’m in a really good place thanks to you.” She offered him a small smile, cocking her head thoughtfully. “Honestly, I think so too, Roycito. This friendship has been really good for me.” She reached out and touched his hand gently. “So, thanks. For being such a good friend.” 
For a moment, Roy just stared at her hand in his, warm and soft and familiar now. His mind wandered to that afternoon by the lake, the way it had ever since they'd gotten home from holiday, and a quiet voice wondered if all of her was this soft and warm.
Fuck off, he scolded himself harshly. Perverted old man, indeed.
“Oi, I've got something for you,” he murmured. Gently, he pulled back his hand, hoping the movement wasn't too gingerly, and stood up. He walked briskly to his room and returned with a small jewelry box. Trying to keep his signature apathetic expression, Roy handed her the box and sat back down, wondering if she could see the way his fingers twitched in anticipation.
With a coolly raised eyebrow she opened the box. When she saw the silver necklace, a smile broke out across that pretty face.
“It's perfect,” she giggled.
Keeley had mentioned to Roy the idea of giving her some kind of trinket to symbolize the relationship, another piece of evidence that this fake romance was real and very serious, especially in the face of the age gap discourse they'd been facing. Immediately, Roy knew exactly what to get her.
It was a simple silver chain with a little square charm, with a large R engraved in the middle and a tiny number 1 in the corner. A Scrabble letter.
And for whatever reason, Roy didn't bother telling her it was Keeley's idea. Not when he saw the brightness in her eyes as she took the necklace out of the box. Her smile widened when she looked back up at him, at what he knew was his most pleased expression.
“Thank you, Roy,” she finally said, her voice thickening. “Wanna help me put it on? I'm sure the girls would want me to post a selfie or something.”
Roy's stomach sank a little at the mention of the publicists, reminding him of how orchestrated everything between the two of them was, but he didn't let his easy expression fade. Instead, he went around to her side of the coffee table and took the necklace from her hands, not minding too much when her fingers brushed against his. He settled on the couch behind her and brushed the hair off the back of her neck, wondering absently if the back of every woman's neck was pretty or just hers. He lifted the necklace in front of her, smirking to himself when he saw the way she immediately patted the charm against her skin. He clasped it securely into place and gently laid the chain on her neck. However, he didn't immediately remove his hands from her. Instead, he found himself staring at the smooth skin he back of her neckon the back of her neck, wondering how it would feel against his lips. He knew what her mouth felt like, of course; but what about the rest of her?
Spurred on by this newfound curiosity, Roy leaned forward and ghosted his mouth over her bare neck. But before he could properly attach his lips to her skin, his mobile vibrated across the room, breaking whatever spell he was under.
Clearing his throat, Roy scrambled to his feet, ignoring the raging heat in his cheeks and refusing to look her in the eye. He rushed over to where he had carelessly tossed his phone earlier and glanced at the name on the screen: Keeley.
“Yeah?” he grumbled when he picked up. He dared a glance at the beautiful singer; she was staring down at the forgotten chessboard with wide eyes, fiddling absently with the silver Scrabble letter around her neck. Had she felt that little kiss? he wondered, his heart frozen in panic. What the absolute fuck was wrong with him?
“Just checking in,” Keeley chirped, ignorant to Roy’s frazzled state. “You two’ll definitely be photographed when you arrive in L.A. So just make sure to post a few pictures, look like the happy couple, you know the drill.”
Roy nodded, then remembered that Keeley couldn’t see him. “Yeah,” he repeated. “I know the drill.” He cleared his throat and averted his eyes, lest he be caught staring. “Anything else?”
“Are you alright, Roy?” Keeley’s voice was filled with concern. “You’re even more monosyllabic than usual.”
“I’m fine,” Roy lied. “Just, dunno, fucking anxious for the long flight or some shit.” He glanced back across the room; those pretty eyes found his. “I’ll talk to you later, alright?”
Keeley sighed, clearly unconvinced. “Alright. Have a safe flight, Roy-o. Say hi to-”
Roy hung up before she could finish. He stuffed his phone into his pocket and shifted his weight. “Should we get some sleep, then?”
“Was that Keeley?”
He blinked in surprise. Her voice was small, not at all the confident woman he’d gotten used to. “Uh, yeah,” he admitted, cocking his head when he saw her wide eyes. “She says hi and to have a safe flight.” He paused for a moment before blurting out, “You don’t like her very much, do you?”
Flustered. The Grammy-winning, Billboard-topping, record-breaking popstar looked positively flustered as she gazed back at Roy, with her parted lips that formed a pretty little O. “Why do you think I don’t like Keeley?” she asked with an awkward little chuckle. “Of course I like Keeley. She’s great.”
Roy wasn’t convinced. He saw the way she looked when Keeley was around, quieter and more reserved, only speaking to the model when spoken to, almost disappointed when Roy and Keeley were in close quarters.
If Roy was a more foolish man, he’d think the singer was jealous of his ex-girlfriend.
But only an idiot would think that.
Instead of pushing the matter, Roy just shrugged and nodded in the direction of the hallway, of the separate bedrooms they’d be sleeping in. And, as she quietly followed him down that hallway, he couldn’t help but wonder if she’d fall asleep thinking of him- the way he would fall asleep thinking of her.
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Taglist: @infinetlyforgotten@ladygrey03@book-of-roses@thatonedogwithablog@misshall14@wibblywobblyvampywolfystuff@akornsworld@itswhateveripromise@purecinnamonextract@oceanncurrent@dearvoidgoodnight@hopefulromances@respondingtoshowerthoughts-blog@hotleaf-juice@emmy2811@captainorbust-blog@preciousbabypeter@shion-ah@royalestrellas@eugene-emt-roe@littleesilvia@teenwolf01@sisinever@yagotgames@queen-of-the-downtown-scene@emmaallisonann@mrdsturd@confessionsofatotaldramaslut@charkachow@mrdsturd@littlepinapple@sunfairyy@shadowzena43@uhmidkmuch@imsoluckyeverythingworksoutforme @alicedsworld @222333777 @thegivenvoid
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olderthannetfic · 4 months ago
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https://www.tumblr.com/olderthannetfic/756288360150089728/i-just-have-to-say-i-dont-like-the-internets?source=share
The thing to remember is that antis are absurd, unreasonable, and just plain dicks. Their entire movement is just
Proshippers can be dramatastic little brats sometimes, and some of them make their whole online identity about making fun of antis, and some of them are just secret antis who try to redefine everything so that the stuff they hate doesn't count as proship, but the worst they are is just annoying.
If you try to play both sides, you end up sending the message that the antis might have a point. They do not have a point. Their point is "if you ship things I don't like, you should suffer real life consequences up to and including death". Stip out the fandom jargon and they sound exactly like the worst of the terfs and the fundies they keep stealing talking points from.
You can opt out of the whole mess by refusing to engage in the flamewars, but this isn't a "both sides are just as bad" thing. It's hateful bigoted bullies on one side, and annoying whiny kids who don't know to stop feeding trolls on the other. I'm definitely siding with the annoying kids and not the people who literally want them to die.
--
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qqueenofhades · 9 months ago
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Is it normal that I’m legitimately so scared of saying pretty morally tame things like “I don’t want to talk about genocide because it makes me severely uncomfortable” or in general expressing my political opinion.
Like i’m not even kidding when I say that all my drafts are just my possibly offensive (probably not) political takes i’m just so scared of everyone leaving me it’s not even funny.
Anyway i also think that if you talk about Palestine but not Ukraine you are a victim of Russian Propaganda™️
I’m sorry I don’t know why i did this have a nice day ok baiiiiiii
Here's the thing. You and every other average social media user should not have to masquerade as a sudden in-depth expert on every single social, political, humanitarian, etc. crisis that we are dealing with in this wretchedly miserable excuse for a timeline. It should not be a baseline expectation on you that when you log onto your little social media in your little average life, you have to come up with The Correct Opinions on everything and if you don't, you're "perpetrating oppression" by not vigorously spreading misinformation, instead of simply admitting that you don't know what to do, you as an average citizen are not in a position of making this change and therefore don't actually have to spend every waking minute obsessing about it, and that maybe, just maybe, you'd like to spend more time informing yourself until and/or IF you decide you want to talk about it. This is the same as the Instagram Activists (TM) who traumatize themselves to the point of PTSD by constantly consuming torture and/or war porn and/or graphic content about murdered children because they "don't have the right to look away." Actually, you do. You are able to make choices to control your personal social media use and to set boundaries as to what you do and do not want to do and/or see, rather than insisting that the only moral choice is to literally mentally destroy yourself with all the weight of human suffering in the world and then expected to act as a de facto expert on all of it, on pain of being Cancelled. This is a stupid, irrational, unhealthy, and generally idiotic expectation. You should not have to take part in it. Nobody should.
Likewise, I think that this is a large part of why people are so scared to voice any opinion that goes against the Prevailing Groupthink: they are afraid of losing friends, of having nasty bad-faith internet trolls say mean things about them, being accused of being a "bad person," or otherwise being guilt-tripped, shamed, and blamed for not centering their entire existence around something that they cannot actually do anything about. Once again, people think the only way you can be Known to Oppose Something Problematic (tm) is if you post on social media about it all the time. Forget whatever you might be doing offline, in your real life, or otherwise; it "doesn't count" if you don't make a big virtuous display of your Rightthink, or you will be viciously harassed. Now, look, I am old and/or tired enough that I don't give a shit what stupid internet users say about me, but I can tell you that I sure did when I was younger, it was incredibly painful to be on the end of those kinds of attacks, and it's (again!) not something you should just have to expect as a baseline level of gaslighting and harassment. As I have said. This is Tumblr. It is a stupid blue website mostly for fandom and/or three in-jokes. This is not a platform where we are expected To Do Social Justice all the time, nor should it be. As for Elon Musk's Twitter: yeah. No.
Also: yes, if you do spend all your waking moments obsessing over Palestine, but say nothing whatsoever about Ukraine and/or openly support Russia, you are in fact very much a victim of Russian Propaganda and you 100% support genocide when it's done by an "anti-western" state that you support for that reason alone. You only care because you can use the cause to make yourself look morally superior, and it has nothing whatsoever to do with opposing genocide on a basic, universal, or fundamental level. The end.
(I hope you have a nice day too. The anger in this is not directed at you. I support everything you've said here and hope that you're able to set healthy boundaries and protect yourself.)
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wispforever · 1 year ago
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Some thoughts on Itachi
So, I've seen a lot of comments circulating about my tags on this post, and I'm intrigued at the interest. I didn't expect it, as I see much more pigeonholing of Itachi's character than honest to god analysis. No hate- I'm no stranger to Kishimoto's writing. Some of his characters were unfortunately butchered or never given the chance to be developed properly, and Itachi is most certainly no exception. That said, I like to grant him a bit more nuance than I see on most blogs. I think people get a little wrapped up in the supposed "moral implications" of exploring how Itachi was also a victim of the system, as well as someone who victimized many people. But it's silly to equate character analysis and context consideration with condoning genocide.
I have a good laugh every once and a while at the metaphorical gymnastics people do in order to stay in the good graces of a bunch of internet trolls who are just Waiting for any opportunity to tell you you love murder and think it's delicious just because you made a post exploring a character's background. Media is grey; it's layered and wonderfully complex. There are many wrongs and rights in every story, and many wrongs and rights within those wrongs and rights. That's what I love about Naruto. Often times it's really too much like real life. Instead of people being black and white, right or wrong, bad or good- they're usually in a tough situation, trying their best and falling short, don't have all of the information, acting with good intentions or acting on what they believe will bring about a lesser evil, and then end up hurting others.
But it is much easier to assign blame and move on. A so-called bad person will always be the perfect scapegoat for issues bigger than them. In Itachi's case, the fascist government in the Leaf. It's easier to say Itachi could have just refused and decided not to be involved, than to recognize that like almost every other character in the narrative, he was under extreme duress, living in a military state. He was a child whose existence, along with all the other children and adults in the Leaf, was only valuable as long as he could serve as a tool for the war machine in the shinobi world's fucked up political system. And saying this is not the same as saying he was not capable of better decisions or that everything that he did thereafter or in general should not be read critically or subject to hypothetical consequences. It is the same as a saying his actions cannot be fully understood without complete context, and the themes of Naruto will never come through if every villain is just "evil" with no further nuance. And it would be boring too LOL
That said, I love to think about Itachi's situation back then. The ages in Naruto are a bit muddled, a little inconsistent, subject to change and interpretation, but Itachi was a child when he murdered everyone in the Uchiha compound. Most sources say he was 13. It should go without saying that someone so young isn't capable of the same decision-making or critical thinking as say, a 30-year-old, someone whose brain is finished developing and has much more experience on Earth.
Itachi's experience at this point in his life is informed by his age, and it's obviously informed by his childhood, as he has no other place from which to draw conclusions. Itachi grew up in a warring state. He saw people die and was subject to extreme violence in his formative years. To make matters worse, he was taught that war was inevitable and the only thing he could do to guard against it was kill others before they got the chance to kill him (threaten the village). Thusly, Itachi internalized at a very young age that what was in his power was to minimize damage (to himself, to his village, and to the world). What was not in his power was to stop this violence entirely (by adopting a critical mindset and going against fascist powers).
A part of this I think people often forget is that Itachi has absolutely nowhere to adopt this mindset FROM, as even though his father and the other members of the Uchiha clan seek equity in the Leaf, if they were to overthrow the Hokage and create a new system, it would still presumably center around the same ideals (minus, of course, the oppression of the Uchiha as a group). Fugaku is the head of the Uchiha clan at this time. As someone who imposed near impossible performance-related expectations on both of his sons, and withheld love and affection whenever they came up short (so often that it was at the cost of having any considerable emotional bond with either of them), there is absolutely no good reason to believe that Fugaku would reform the Leaf using a non-fascist ideology. And if he did, there is no good reason to believe that he would be some kind of visionary LMAO
This is important to remember because when it comes down to Itachi's decision to either kill everyone in the Uchiha compound and his family, or be part of the coup that would overthrow the Leaf, some people treat it as though it's a choice between fascism and non-fascism, which it most certainly is not. And if it was, Itachi, as a child who had grown up immersed in this ideology, would not be able to appreciate the difference. This context allows us to understand further what Itachi was really weighing in that moment. Accounting for his young age and limited worldview, the only valuable difference in this moment to Itachi was the amount of bloodshed that he would "allow" to happen. Essentially, he sees the options as follows:
Either give in to Danzo and kill everyone in the Uchiha compound, or facilitate a coup where the current government is (hopefully) overthrown and risk starting another war.
Here, Itachi pauses. He has known war. He knows how it affects children, adults, families, and whole nations. The peace he's living in currently is bought with blood, but it's the only peace he's ever known. The alternative is horrifying. And a war in this context, Itachi likely thinks, would be his fault, as he has now been put in the position to "prevent" it. Danzo and the whole shinobi system have groomed him into thinking so. Itachi, at age 13, cannot understand that there would be no war; it exists only as leverage for Danzo's argument at this point. His sensitivities are being played on.
Fugaku, though he is not the same as Danzo, offers about as much help as he does (that being none). Fugaku has no interest in avoiding war; if a war breaks out, it's justified because it will still mean his clan will no longer be living in oppression. This idea is valid, as fascist systems and discrimination can only cease to exist when we rise up against them; unfortunately, this most often calls for righteous violence, as the oppressive powers will not be moved with peaceful shows (not to mention they are willing to go to extreme lengths to avoid losing their hold on the people they have crushing power over, i.e. the Uchiha massacre). But Fugaku has no words to explain this to Itachi, who fears the worst and further fears being responsible for the worst. All he does is act as if it's a moral failing that his 13-year-old son is unwilling to stage a coup, which he believes could mark the abrupt end of a peace that's only just begun.
That said, let it be known that Itachi does appreciate this situation with SOME nuance, though it isn't of the kind that might have enabled him to see he was being manipulated. He at the very least understands that Danzo is a warmonger and oppresses those he fears (the Uchiha). He understands that the rights of his clan have been sorely disrespected, and that the issue needs correction. He understands the anger of his friends and family. This is why it takes him much deliberation before he can even come close to making a decision. He plays both sides right up until the end, listening to Danzo, as well as Fugaku and Shisui, paying attention to the current atmosphere in the Leaf as he tries to decide.
It is something he doesn't want to do. Here's where I get to the part I put in the tags of my drawing.
In this situation, it's almost worthless to write an analysis about Itachi's feelings at this time, his understanding of what was actually going on, his loyalty to his clan or his loyalty to the Leaf, because really, he could not grasp it. He was never prepared for this. He never knew he would be asked to make a decision he could only understand as "your family or the world?"
Itachi was put in a position that had no happy ending. There was no decision he could make that would not hurt. That could not result in a cataclysm that split him right down the middle. There was no version of this story that a 13-year-old could carry out thinking "I have done the right thing."
And that's the important part. Both sides asked him to make this decision, and so both sides are guilty of placing an immeasurable pressure on a child who should never have been put in such a position. Regardless of ideology, regardless of price, regardless of oppression or loyalty or devotion or any other thing- someone else should have made this decision for Itachi. Someone else should have been responsible. An adult, at the very least. Someone who COULD understand the implications of both options. Someone who COULD go forward and appreciate the evil of fascism and know that a coup was necessary. Itachi was never capable of such a thing. If he made the "wrong" decision, than every child who can't explain to you what a fascist government in a military state looks like and explain what the difference is between a hate crime and resisting a hateful power, is also wrong. Here is the nuance. These are things a 13-year-old in this universe cannot be expected to understand unless they are taught. And Itachi had no teacher. Quite the opposite. There were only forces pressing him from both sides, saying "choose."
Had his father done this for him, had Shisui been in this position, had any other adult Uchiha acting as a spy been put to this task, it would be a much different narrative. But of course, it had to be Itachi, who Danzo knew he could manipulate. It had to be a child, someone skilled enough to do the job, but inexperienced enough, afraid enough, to be willing to sacrifice everything they had to see the mission through. Someone you could whisper "greater good" to and have them hand over their well being on a plate. Someone who didn't understand they had the power and strength to destroy the system threatening them.
On a narrative level, Itachi exists to illustrate this point. How young people are systematically indoctrinated to serve a greater purpose, be it under a specific government, religion, or otherwise. We see it in real life fascism, in real life cults. There's no mistake. It isn't an accident that Itachi's story begins like this.
Which brings me to the rest of his life. The reason I drew the picture in the post referenced at the top. Itachi's character is a bit of a mystery the rest of the anime. Be that because of bad writing or an intentional omission, his motives, thoughts, and opinions are largely left ambiguous. However, there are still a few moments that interest me as far as the implications of his development.
When Itachi first comes back to the Leaf village, he faces Kakashi. On the one hand, this could simply be a narrative tool- the big bad meets the big good. He takes Kakashi out of commission! The first rogue shinobi we see who is able to defeat the pillar of the Leaf, the Copy Ninja, and without even breaking a sweat!
On the other hand, I find the brutality of Itachi's attack very intriguing. Again, it could be the tough guy act, but he's able to keep three jonin busy easily using standard genjutsu (with the help of Kisame). It wouldn't be a stretch to say that using the tsukuyomi is overkill, and at a considerable price, we learn later.
Why then would Itachi, who has been shown to have excellent battle intelligence, who is strategic to a fault, be willing to jeopardize his health among other things just to... scare the Leaf? Make sure Kakashi wouldn't be a nuisance in the future? Sure, the last one would make collecting Naruto less complicated, but they dispatched Kakashi easily enough, and surely Jiraiya, who Naruto was with at the time, would pose a bigger problem than Kakashi.
It doesn't make strategic sense, which makes me wonder if Itachi has a special animosity toward Kakashi. Being his superior in the ANBU before the Uchiha massacre, someone who was willing to conduct surveillance of the Uchiha compound without question, Kakashi could have become a symbol of the indifference of the Leaf for Itachi. He could very well have been a reminder of the inoperable position Itachi was put in when he was still a child, and Kakashi, of course, was an adult. Another adult who did nothing. Noticed nothing. Did not help Itachi.
And while I'm certain that Kakashi would have taken severe issue with the goings on in the Leaf at that time, judging by his reaction when he finds out the truth in Shippuden, Itachi knows him only by what he did then. Facilitated surveillance of the Uchiha compound, was a supportive superior, but nothing greater. A bystander whose compassion, while well meaning, was entirely unhelpful.
I don't think it's far fetched that Itachi fucking crucified Kakashi because he was so angry at what being in the Leaf did to him. At some point, as he got older, he realized how terrible it was. He realized there were people like him. Children who were "born killers". Pawns in the game of the shinobi powers.
After leaving the village, Itachi joins the Akatsuki, who are also seeking peace through war (another story). He is supposed to spy for them, but doesn't follow through in any enthusiastic way (that we're shown). He works alone for quite some time, or else with a group (briefly he was shown with Conan and Kakuzu). He is partners with Orochimaru before he's expelled from the Akatsuki. He is partners with one of the Seven Swordsmen of the Mist. He grows up and meets many people, sees lots of stories unfold. He learns that he isn't in a minority. Many shinobi are just like him.
And then, as an adult, he is partnered with Kisame, who he finds excellent camaraderie with because of their similar backgrounds. We see in this relationship that he understands what happened to him and what he did enough to acknowledge that, while neither of them are monsters, as many people say, they are human. And humans make mistakes. Humans are complicated. Wrong and right and wrong and right. They understand each other, and Itachi understands more clearly what the world puts these children up to. What it forces shinobi to become. That it isn't all his fault, but he still did it. And so he is responsible. He appears to be able to live with that.
But when he returns to the Leaf, those feelings bubble up. He hates the Leaf. He hates that system. He hates what he did. Maybe he even hates being a shinobi, how his excellence was weaponized, how being an Uchiha doomed him and his clan. And for what?
Itachi is played as a character who is only sensible, only logical, only interested in practical things, has nothing to express. But the way he behaves toward Kakashi in that moment bares all his grief and anger. I just like to think about it. We have so few moments where we get to see Itachi genuinely. The fight with Kakashi, the Sasuke/Deidara fight, his thoughtful moments with Kisame. Just makes me wonder what could've been if Itachi's story had gone a little differently.
Anyway, if anyone would like me to expand on any points or has additional thoughts, feel free to hop in my ask box or leave a comment. Thanks for the interest, I love to talk.
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