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moo-nstone · 4 years ago

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ASTRO OBSERVATIONS PT. 7

gemini and pisces placements are similar in the sense that geminis are able to see things from all perspectives, while pisces are able to empathise with people who have all sorts of different perspectives. pisces placements... be careful with over-empathising with the people who hurt you to the point where you’re understanding why they did it and you start excusing their actions. gemini placements... be careful with seeking the multi-layers and million different perspectives in everything and everyone to the point where you’re driving your own mind insane and you don’t know what your opinion is anymore because you hyper-analyse so much. too much of a good ability becomes a curse.

people with venus-mars aspects have a talent for making people who hate them fall in love with them 💋

moon in the 11th house natives tend to attract friends who get into scandals. moon in the 10th house natives tend to be the ones who get into said scandals. it’s a PERFECT FRIENDSHIP

capricorn placements have a talent for knowing how to make things last. they want to prolong the enjoyment they get out of something for as long as possible, which is why their hobbies, friendships and relationships tend to last a lifetime... hedonistic sluts

since both the 7th house and the 11th house rule fandoms, celebrities with a 7th house or 11th house neptune can attract fans who view them as angels who can’t do nothing wrong — because of this, those celebrities rarely take accountability for their mistakes, since people keep pushing the “but they’re perfect :(“ light on them

pluto conjunct ascendant natives always come off as very serious during first impressions, no matter how approachable and inviting they strive to appear.

sun and moon in the 10th house people may feel as if they’re always exposed to the public eye, they can’t get away with keeping things secretive. others always notice whatever they want kept on the low. this can be especially frustrating if they notice that others aren’t exposed to the same kind of scrutiny that they are for simply existing

lilith in pisces bitches have a natural talent for appearing like angels even in situations where they are 100% guilty. it’s very easy for them to put on their vulnerable, lost puppy act lmfao, which triggers others’ protective instincts. they may be able to cry on cue when people call them out on their bullshit, making them feel like THEY’re the shitty ones for confronting the lilith native... it’s insane

lilith in the 12th house natives may feel as though the themes of lilith are trapped in their psyche, at the core of who they are and those themes become unavoidable for them — they’re always there, lurking in the shadows, becoming the center of their nightmares

people with mercury in the 1st house can feel veryyy threatened and defensive when someone possesses knowledge in an area that they don’t, it’s like it hits them right on their biggest fears. they often either try to “one-up” the other person in an attempt to heal their broken ego or shut down altogether in insecurity. it’s imperative that they work on developing a strong sense of self-worth because they can be extremely prone to comparing their mental skills to those of other people.

people with personal planets in the 12th house may feel as though a lot of their artistic drive is stifled by their lack of energy. like... in the mental realm there’s a lot going on and it’s incredible, but then you pick up a pen to actualize your visions and you feel exhaustion immediately overtaking you. it can feel like there’s a lot to your psyche that feels inaccessible to you not because you don’t want to explore it, but because you have yet to restore the energy to dive deep into it. this can be especially noticeable if there’s absolutely no 5th house energy in the chart

people with jupiter in an earth sign love being surrounded by greeneries in their home; they may take a lot of enjoyment out of taking care of plants, gardening, cooking and stuff of the sort. it makes them feel more grounded, independent, and even healed. they also LOVE scents that connect them to nature like the scent of grass and the ocean.

air mercuries can be very beware of strangers, they can feel offended when their friends make them socialize with someone they don’t know and it can take a hot while before they trust the person enough to lower their defences a bit. they need to know it’s safe before expressing their usual sexy eccentric selves in front of someone new. on the other hand, aries placements can also hate being introduced to new people through their friends but it’s mostly because they’re very territorial over them, and can’t stand the thought that this new person can hurt their friendship in any possible way

meanwhile, it’s probably an earth or leo/sagittarius mercury introducing new friends to the group. they’re so fucking good with people and it shows in how they make people feel welcomed so easily, it’s like they “take” the person in and adopt them into the group. they can’t stand seeing someone being treated like an outcast because they know how it sucks to feel rejected, so they’ll try their best to make you feel included

while on the subject of people who hate seeing others be treated like an outcast because they know how it feels like to be rejected: SCORPIO RISINGS. bro. people underestimate how chill they can actually be. if they see you being left out, they’ll approach you with no fucks given and do anything in their power to make you feel comfortable. they do so well in group settings.

and while on the subject of scorpio risings... i have a scorpio rising friend and he goes thru it on the daily. he often complains that people are always suspicious of him and that they seem repulsed by him, strangers on the street will stay tf away from him. and it’s so heartbreaking because his personality is so friendly and welcoming and it doesn’t at all match his intimidating appearance. scorpio risings have this energy that not many people can handle, others feel either really drawn to them or downright scared of them because of the “danger” element they seem to carry in them

i know two people who are both scorpio suns and libra moons and they look the exact same, even though they have different risings. brown, deep-set eyes, coarse dark hair, naturally tanner skin tone — and they have the same style as well, using lots of band t-shirts and dark clothing. scorpio energy is always so noticeable wherever it is i swear, it’s like it takes over the rest of the chart

gemini moons are what yall claim gemini venuses to be. like, seriously... have you ever met someone with a gemini venus? they don’t need constant stimulation or else they’ll get bored and cheat. not in the slightest; actually, they’re often incredibly loyal and crave longterm, committed relationships. if anything, they need stimulation outside of their relationship in the form of a good, exciting career and hobbies so that they don’t get too addicted to their partner and to constantly analysing every aspect of their relationship. gemini moons however, tend to have multiple partners throughout life and they often feat deep commitment. they can be huge players imo, IT’S THEM YOU SHOULD BE WORRIED ABOUT!

sagittarius placements are so... tactile? like, they love to touch things. when they go to stores and stuff, they’ll start holding everything that catches their attention— it’s like they can only decide if they want to buy something after thouroughly exploring how it feels, the texture and the energy that the object gives them through touch. and they talk so much with their hands. it makes me so anxious like bitch you aren’t selena gomez, i promise you that you CAN keep your hands to yourself

taurus placements are so weird to me, i can’t understand them. it’s like they’re afraid of exploring their own depths, which in turn makes me unable to explore them. okay, how do i put this... it’s like they have this preset idea of who they are and after deciding so, they’re unwilling to let go of it. “i’m the stable friend who’s here for everyone even when i can barely take care of my own self” and then that’s who they are: the people who are a steady rock in the lives of others, taking care of everyone. and then they refuse to change even after getting hurt. and then, it’s like... well, you can’t just be that. you are a human who contains multitudes, but i don’t think you give yourself enough credit on how layered you are. that fear of changeability, that need to be the one stable thing in a world full of unpredictability will only damage you in the end, because you won’t get to fully experience life’s greatest pleasure: knowing yourself. becoming your own best friend, exploring every layer that there is to your being. i think you deny yourself of that experience because you fear that, with self-learning comes self-growth which leads to transformation. and you fear transformation because you don’t want to change for the worst. but like... transformation is necessary and with that comes adaptability + flexibility, which are things you could greatly benefit from.

scorpio venuses can be so pessimistic— and when they’re in a dark mindset, it’s so difficult to pull them out of it. it’s so difficult to get them to see the good in difficult situations, and to help them believe that it gets better. but even if you don’t believe me, i’ll keep telling you; it does get better. you’ll get through this.

jupiter in the 4th house is an indicator of food having been an amazing part of your childhood; there might’ve been a lot of feasts and you could’ve had a parent who loved to cook. being well fed might be a huge concern for you now; you might get sick easily when you’re eating fast food and non-traditional plates.

mercury square uranus is an extremely difficult aspect to have because, in your earlier years, you might’ve felt dumb or like there was something wrong with your intelligence because you might’ve found school difficult due to it’s structured nature that didn’t fit with the way you like to learn things— you need to learn in an interactive way that piques your interest. your anxiety and any traumatic experienced that you faced could’ve heavily impacted your school performance. you might’ve had an ease with learning but then, when it came to doing the written tests, you couldn’t perform to the best of your abilities. either way, school might’ve been a source of a lot of stress and difficulty.

mercury square pluto can have some weird manifestation where, like... you suspect things but you always suspect the wrong things. i’ve met a few people with this aspect and all of them were extremely suspicious of the most random things who were literally normal and innocent. this aspect can cause a lot of chaos to one’s interpersonal relationships because you might find yourself suspecting your loved ones in the weirdest circumstances due to your trust issues, which in return causes them to lose trust in you + the want to confide in you because you keep questioning everything they’re up to WHEN THEY’RE NOT UP TO ANYTHING IN THE FIRST PLACE. probably the most frustrating thing that can happen with this aspect is when you always suspect what you shouldn’t, but then, when sketchy things are actually happening that should be questioned, you don’t bat an eye to it. omfg it drives me insane

moon conjunct the ascendant can make someone have a very delicate appearance that gives others the impression that they need to handle you like fine china or else you might break. my mother has this at a very tight orb and whenever i bring people over, their first impression of her is always “she looks so frail”. the native might be extremely sensitive to every minor inconvenience which brings a lot of frustration to them, a feeling that they can’t control their reactions and inner turmoil. it can also suck when you don’t want to be depicted as the victim but then that’s the way everyone perceives you. the native might have very expressive and shiny eyes, and they can cry easily. it’s very difficult for them to hide their emotions.

your jupiter sign can signify where you feel an overflow of energy. jupiter in cancer may feel like you have an overflow of nurturing and protective energy towards your loved ones, with a lot of intuition and need for introspection. jupiter in leo can make you feel like you a talent for self-expression and dealing with others, being overly dramatic and prideful at times, and with a huge drive to have fun. jupiter in virgo can feel an overflow of perceptive qualities, with a huge amount of self-awareness and also awareness of your surroundings, ability to constantly analyse and a constant strive for perfection (which btw is impossible since perfection is unattainable and you’re a human being who makes mistakes and that’s completely fine. stop finding flaws where there aren’t none).

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fireemblems24 · 4 years ago

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Dimitri's Supports

I have waited FOREVER for this. Let's go. And I decided to put my patience to the test, saving Dedue for last.

Since it's Dimitri and I love him, and like Dedue who I also love, he's the only one unlocking all his A-Supports, I'm going to blog all my reactions to them like I did with Dedue. Part of me wishes I thought of this for the other characters, but honestly it would've taken forever lol. Plus Dimitri and Dedue get special treatment because I said so.

Raphael

Starting off with something light hearted, I hope. I do wonder if I'm going to regret not saving this one for the inevitably heavy-handed stuff coming later.

I'm seriously betting this is a support you're supposed to get in part 1 lol. Dimitri sounds young (or maybe I'm just haven't heard non-growl part 2 Dimitri enough yet?)

Dimitri's training made Raphael think he was dying lol. Dimitri's strength is really meme tier.

I need fanart of Dimitri and Chrom co-miserating their mishandled strength breaking something. And Lucina.

Lamo, Raphael has never felt a cramp before. Lucky bastard.

Raphael is a sweetie, going to apologize to his muscles. I really wish they gave him something else to talk about other than muscles and food. Not everyone needs Dimitri tier development, but I think I'd like Raphael a lot more if he just got a smidge more depth.

Got to say, it's a bit jarring to go from "moments away from a suicide charge in the rain" to "lol, Raphael, it's muscle pain." As glad as I am that I got this support, I do think some should've been locked to part 1.

And this isn't just for Dimitri's development. I also saw Marianne and Raphael's B before this support and she reverted back to her part 1 self too.

Catherine

Maybe it's just me, but he does sound a bit older.

OMG - Dimitri's back. 😭😭😭

Sorry, it didn't really hit in that first one since that seemed like a part 1 support.

Oh, cool! I was wondering if anyone would bring up Catherine returning to Faerghus. My bets is she's too loyal to Rhea. (I guessed right)

Catherine be simpin. That's ok, I get it.

So it's not because Catherine dislikes Dimitri, or that she's absolutely needed to rule House Charon, so I think Dimitri just likes her. She's cool though. I get it.

Lamo, she told him he'd better get his sleep like he's a kid.

Curious how the A+ support will play out.

Mercedes

Team Mom's support!

Oh, no, this one's taking a serious turn isn't it? But their initial supports were so light and cute.

Mercedes just told Dimitri that he's kind to a fault. Somehow I know he's going to deny that.

Annnnnd I'm right 😭😭😭He's still calling himself a killer and disgusting monster 😭😭😭

OK - so THIS seems perfectly in tone with his recent character development. But it's so sad hearing him still talk about himself that way.

Mercedes is such a therapist. I can't. She's too pure. But savage. I saw that Lorenz support.

"I am scared . . . so scared that I will forget their faces." 😭😭😭😭😭😭 Dimitri why????

Mercedes telling Dimitri to live in the present. Her supports are always so good. I legit think she's easily a top 10 favorite in this game.

Wow, Dimitri saying if someone told him that 5 years ago, he'd be different. DID NO ONE EVER GIVE HIM ANY HELP AT ALL???

I love how she's talking to him as a classmate, and equal, and not talking up to him. He's always wanted that.

Dimitri's never given his own dreams any thought 😭😭😭He really was just 100% living for other people most of the time. 😭😭😭

Awww MERCEDES, I can't. She says she just wants to keep being his friend. This is so damn sweet. And heavy. But still sweet.

It just hits super hard knowing how badly Dimitri just wanted friends in part 1. And looking back, Mercedes and Sylvain were really the only two who were pretty casual with him.

Aww, yeah, Mercedes not putting up with the bullshit, Dimitri. Telling him to quit the self-deprecation! God, I love her.

Oh, God, they both said the old FE code for "we're married" i.e. I want to "stay by your side."

Ok, @garlandgerard, I totally get why you ship this. Mercedes loves to nurture people, and Dimitri's emotionally needy, so they match pretty well. She also didn't put up with the constant self-put-downs, but stayed gentle about it. And they talked like equals too, like friends, which is what Dimitri always wanted. It's all very sweet.

Annette

Yeah, see, this one starts off with "your highness," but Mercedes it was just Dimitri. No hate for Annette. She's my girl.

These two always give me sibling vibes.

Haha, Annette "I thought I already knew you, but I'm not sure I really do." Hmmmm wonder what Dimitri did that made her think that maybe there's parts of him she didn't know. No. idea.

Hey, Annette, no one blames you for not knowing what to say to Dimitri when they reunited lol.

Annette too pure too, wanting to cheer Dimitri up with his favorite food.

Her not knowing what he likes to eat is 100% that moment when you realize you don't know someone's favorite color.

HOW can Dimitri have no strong feelings about food. I'm having pizza right now. Let me tell you, I have strong feelings about some food.

I love how easily Dimitri deflected from talking about himself lol.

Awwww, Annette wants to live with her family again. I'll make that happen, Annette. Don't worry.

Haha, they're conspiring together behind Gilbert's back.

They still have an A+ support, which is weird, because that seemed pretty well ended? Like I see why Catherine's needed more, but not this one. Still, not going to say no. I like their dynamic.

Ingrid

OCF they're training. God I love all the Faerghus childhood group though.

Oh, fuck, here comes Glenn again. My heart's not ready for this with Rodrigue dead. Poor Felix.

Ingrid being Dimitri's knight 😊😊😊 as it should be.

Haha, Dimitri asks her for an interpretation. Just make her your knight.

Glad he hasn't started saying "I'm not worthy!" Because right now it's about Ingrid's feelings.

Wow, there, Ingrid. "However you please, Your Highness." That . . . that sounds like an invitation. To "staying by your side."

Dimitri laughed. 😊😊😊

Oh, God, this is so cute. His pause asking her to support and defend him as his knight. 😊😊😊 OMG. I'm not sure that's all she had in mind though, good Sir, have you LOOKED in the mirror?

Seriously though, Ingrid's just surrounded by studs, isn't she?

Oh, God, I'm right. She didn't just mean knight. But Dimitri's too dense in that area to notice. She crushing hard. Girl, I get you.

She blushing, saying "for the Kingdom," naw, she just like him. Me too, Ingrid. Me too.

Dimitri always makes people promise not to die on him. It's so sad considering . . .

Flayn

With Flayn it's always a toss up. Sometimes things are super light hearted, and other times it's way heavy.

On a random note, does no one wonder why Flayn hasn't aged a day in 5 years?

Flayn having nightmares. Not allowed. I bet it's fucking Jeritza's fault. I'm glad you get to rip him a new one so many times in this game.

Why is Flayn apologizing?? She's never done a thing wrong in her life.

Right, Flayn's other support with Dimitri was pretty heavy. And it started so funny with him stomaching her food.

Oh, good grief, what's he apologizing for? Ok - so Dimitri did do some things wrong. But not to Flayn.

He lied. Let me guess. Her food actually sucks.

Aw, got it. He went right to the meal. Is he really going to come out and say, well it actually sucked 😂

WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK

WHAT ABOUT ALL THOSE MEALS???? AND THE TEA an embarrassing amount of tea.

Wait. He can't taste ANYTHING??? Like. How? Did he hide that????

Ok - I need to look at his team and dining dialogue.

OMG. He really never says a word about how anything tastes? He always just talks about smells????

OMG. How did I NOT NOTICE. I've taken Dimitri to dinner a million times. And tea timed him too many times to admit too.

AND I NEVER NOTICED HE NEVER ONCE SAID HOW ANYTHING TASTED. HOW.

OMG that support with Annette hits different now 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭

OMG and Dedue's support with Flayn hits different now. Since he wanted to badly to find food Dimitri loves 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭

Does Dedue know? Is that why he's so dedicated to cooking??

Can I headcannon that?

OMG, I feel so awful about that jab about pizza. Dimitri CAN'T TASTE pizza or anything 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭

Please someone tell me there isn't any more "this awful thing also happened to Dimitri and he's failed to tell you" like learning he almost fucking died at Duscur. And now this. Dimitri needs to learn how to fucking complain.

The writers are so fucking mean to Dimitri. OMG. OMG, how am I supposed to take him to dinner and tea now, knowing this?

Why does everything hit so differently now? And so many Blue Lions supports are about food - but Dimitri can't relate

😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭

This game needs to stop bullying Dimitri.

But like, God, can you imagine? Not tasting anything? I'd starve. I'd actually starve. I never really get hungry. I really would starve.

On the flip side, he's good for Flayn then, since someone can eat her cooking I guess.

"I was just saying what I thought you would want to hear . . ." Dimitri - a summary.

Naw, that's a kind lie. That kind of lie doesn't really hurt anyone.

Oh - dear God. Flayn. Stop. No sampling pungent food.

Oh, she blushing. Dimitri got her blushing

Please tell me in their paired ending Dimitri gets his taste back.

Oh, there's an A+, does he taste something. Please tell me he tastes something.

This support though. It wasn't really one on my radar but

😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭

Gilbert

Oh, man, this one right after Flayn's. God, I'm going to need the Alois one after this. Gilbert and Dimitri are two of the most somber characters in the franchise.

And I haven't forgotten that heartbreaking B support.

Haha Lambert sucked at lying too. Dimitri too pure. Weirdly, despite everything, it's still pretty true.

Oh, shit, oh shit, we're back to Dimitri's demand that Gilbert kill him. I'm betting you usually get that in part 2.

God, imagine seeing Dimitri recover only to see him beg for death again 😭😭😭😭😭😭

I need alcohol.

I need the Alois support.

OMG, shit, Dimitri. No. Don't. Stop.

Like, I know Gilbert won't really kill him, but damn. This support is heavy.

No, Dimitri, no Gilbert is not cruel for not killing you. God.

Oh, not sure about this. I get what Gilbert's going at here, but telling Dimitri that he's not allowed to die because he's got a duty is . . . I think Rodrigue's and Mercedes' live for what you want/the present is a LOT healthier.

At the same time, this is a pretty effective way to make sure Dimitri won't go and try this again, because he really takes duty seriously.

Dimitri doesn't wish to die? 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭

Oh, thank God.

"Many times I have felt that I cannot afford to die . . . But this was the first time I truly feared the prospect." 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭

"Is it really right for me to live?" Oh, dear God. I'm so soft for Dimitri. I can't.

Gilbert answered that one right. 100%.

Damn, these supports.

Alois

OK. I need this one. I really need this one.

I really hope Alois' inspiration is bad puns. I need bad puns right now.

Pretty sure this is a part 1 support though. I love how Alois, not Dimitri, is leading this. And that the person the Kingdom NEEDS is running around and getting attacked by monsters lol

Ok, bad puns. Bring them.

There we go. Thank you, thank you, Alois.

OMG no one's laughing 😂😂😂

Dimitri's laughing 😭😭😭😭😭😭

That's it. This is always getting saved for part 2. I need to hear part 2 Dimitri laugh.

I'm also so glad someone finds Alois funny. Dimitri and Petra need to start a club.

OMG I love the two other confused soldiers. I needed this 😂😂😂

Marianne

These two were so sweet in their C and B supports.

I swear I'm going to end up shipping Dimitri with everyone. Except maybe Annette, no hate, they just seem so much like brother and sister to me.

And Felix x Annette 100%

Survivor's Guilt - the pairing. Both wondering why they survived 😭😭😭

"There are so many others who are much more deserving of life . . ." - who said it? Marianne or Dimitri?

These two just understand how each other feels so well. It hits so different compared to Marianne's other romantic possible supports where they just try to make her smile.

Instead these two take comfort in finding someone who understands how they feel so well and feel relieved they can share that with someone.

Haha - "I must go on living. I cannot give in to death so readily." This coming right after his support with Gilbert. Good job, Gilbert.

They've both had it so rough 😭😭😭😭😭😭

"There is no need to force yourself to smile as your soul bleeds." Dimitri always gives such good advice that he never follows.

Aww, now at least it's getting cute instead of just heavy. Marianne laughed too 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭

Yesss, Girl, preach. I got a little sick of her other supports all being "cheer up!" Like I know it's all in good faith, but I'm so glad this chain exists. It just hits different.

Dimitri doesn't think he's strong enough to live his life. 😭😭😭 this game. I swear.

ohhhh - ohhh, Dimitri blushing now. And all she needed to say was they've been brought closer together. Congrats Marianne!

OHHHH tables have been turned. Now someone's making Dimitri promise he needs to live!

"I don't know what I'd do with myself if we lost you . . ."

"I promise to the goddess of Fodlan that I will never give you cause for despair."

OMG these two are being so sweet, I can't. 😭😭😭😊😊😊

Felix

Oh, boy, here we go. This should be . . . interesting.

Oh, we're starting off good I see. Felix telling Dimitri he needs to answer quickly or get cut in half 😔Felix. No.

Dimitri sounds so somber 😭

Dimitri admitting both are him - the vengeful "boar" and the friendly good person. And this is why I love him.

Dimitri feels the need to shoulder all the regret the dead feel, please don't. They wouldn't want that 😭😭😭😭😭

"The dead won't acknowledge your loyalty, they don't care." - Felix not wrong there.

I partly agree with the idea Dimitri is "serving his own ego" by claiming he's acting for the dead. I think it's a bit more complicated than that, but I think that's part of it.

Felix saying some good stuff here about the dead being dead and the living being living.

"If you keep stringing gravestones around your neck, you'll snap." - Felix, I don't know if you noticed but . . . uh . . . he sort of did.

Felix telling Dimitri to become a grave keeper is a bit funny. Not going to lie.

"I'm not immune to emotion you know." - just tsunderes things

Aw, Felix is upset his father died 😭😭 after all that shit-talking about Rodrigue 😭😭

Wish Felix didn't cut Dimitri off when he said "more than anyone you-" (care about other people, unless he joins CF and just kills everyone)

Oh, God, Felix is such a tsundere. "I couldn't stand the pathetic look on your face. That's all." Sure, Felix.

Kinda wish these two had an A+ though. Seems like there's more to do than the A+ with Annette and Flayn.

Really curious to see what their paired ending is like after that. Seems they're still learning to learn about each other. Well, Felix is. Dimitri didn't seem too upset lol.

Dedue

Ok guys. Here we go. I can't believe I managed to wait for this for last. Everyone hyped this one, so let's hope.

Really? We open with Dimitri having scars on his back? 😭

From 9 years ago? So scars from Duscur then?

Images of shirtless Dimitri now. though Not bad images.

He got scars protecting Dedue?

"It makes me think that is was worthwhile that someone like me survived." 😭😭😭 he's talking about protecting Dedue? 😭😭😭

😭😭😭😭😭😭😭

"But I saved someone - saved you. That and that alone has been my crutch." 😭😭😭😭😭

I always knew these two were co-dependent.

Dimitri really out here saying that saving Dedue helped him "justify" surviving. 😭😭😭😊😊😊

OMG THAT'S THEIR STORY

OMG, poor Dedue. And Dimitri 😭😭😭did he literally "take a bullet" to save Dedue 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭 and still has scars? No wonder Dedue's so loyal. Some kid he didn't know did that. That's one hell of an introduction.

And picturing little Dedue just resigned and angry and waiting to die and just 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭

Oh, Dedue, you've repaid that debt ten-fold I'm sure.

Ahaha, Dimitri's doing the "you'd better accept your worth!" discussion this time lol.

Dear God these two. Now Dimitri's bringing up that Dedue busted him out of the jail.

I swear, these two have more of a plot off screen than some routes do on screen.

And now picturing Dimitri resigned and just ready to die. And then Dedue busts in. 😭😭😭

"That was nothing more than my duty as your vassal." Stop that Dedue. Dimitri doesn't want you to be his vassal. He wants more.

Holy shit.

"You are irreplaceable. Cherished." 😭😭😭😊😊😊😭😭😭😊😊😊😭😭😭😊😊😊😭😭😭😊😊😊

Not to be that person - but I tell all my "friends" that.

Yes, Dedue, stop saying insisting you're just a "vassal" - that's a worse joke than Alois' puns from earlier.

"Please . . . do not look at me that way." What way, like you're about to make Dimitri cry, or like . . .

"You promised me you would build a Kingdom that is proud to boast of Duscur blood." - shit, man, these two. I just . . .

OMG so much emotion from Dedue. The only time I ever heard that before was in VW when he learned Dimitri died. But let's not remember that right now 😭😭😭😭😭😭

Oh shit. He called him "Dimitri." 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊

And it made him blush.

OMG.

Guys, these two.

Aww, Dimitri looks so surprised. 😊😊😊😊😊😊

Oh, these two are so soft for each other. I can't. I just can't.

"To be your friend . . . is what I have always wanted." You're going to get it.

Man, I feel almost guilty S-Supporting Dimitri. He needs to pair up with Dedue pronto.

Dimitri sounds chocked up. OMG.

"So please call upon me when you walk alone at night." Ok. Dedue. Ok. Yes. Guys. This is all very straight.

I'm not saying it's - you know - cannon, but there's some big feels here.

Oh, Dimitri, stop it. You like Dedue's overprotectiveness. Don't lie.

Man, you guys were so right. Dimitri really just came out and said Dedue was "cherished" and "irreplaceable." Like, I'm not making this stuff up. And Dedue blushing hardcore just saying Dimitri's name.

They're both just so soft. I can't. I literally cannot. This support was gold. It was worth all they hype.

And learning more about how they meant. Dimitri really taking a bullet for Dedue there. I just . . .

I just want all the happiness for both of them. They're really something special towards each other. Like I legitimately think this is one of the most two-way loyal relationships in the whole franchise, and definitely the tightest bond in this game.

Like in past games you had Seth for Ephraim and Erikia and Soren for Ike and it's not like Ike, Ephraim and Erikia and etc don't care, but it wasn't the same level, you know? But this is such a two way street.

And I'm so weak for bodyguard with a crush. Like Seth/Eirika? Yes. Geoffrey/Elincia? 100%. Riza/Roy (Fullmetal Alchemist) there again. I'm sure there's more, but those are my top ones. Even Merlin/Arthur sort of counts even if Arthur doesn't know Merlin's his bodyguard lol.

I need to read fanfic for these two. I really don't want to spoil anything, but I'm dying. They're both just so sweet, and I just really love their dynamic. I really want to do a write up on it once I get to the end of the game.

#fire emblem #fire emblem three houses #dimitri alexandre blaiddyd #dimitri fire emblem #fe3h #fe16

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kob131 · 5 years ago

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https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_1q5Hk7u9aw

Ah FMF, even when you’re not Genwunning RT writing, you’re still not good. So Why am I covering his video on a ‘bad review’ of Netflix’s Death Note? Well this was used in the video of a Youtuber I once respected and I’m pretty sure he started adopting FMF’s bullshit so I’ve decided dissect the video to showcase that he’s bad at this no matter what the subject and why he shouldn’t be listen to.

Before we even begin, FMF begins his video with saying ‘this is just my opinion’ even though his video is titled ‘A response to a bad Death Note review’ and he has a visual counter system for what the original video gets wrong called ‘Wrong/Illogical’ which aren’t opinions. Honestly, it comes off as FMF using this as a shield to prevent criticism.

So his first point against Cosmonaut Variety Hour is that he complains about the pacing, talking about how Netflix Light gets the Death Note 2 minutes in, meets Ryuk 8 minutes in and kills his first victim a little later. FMF says that the anime had Light following a similar path. Which is true...only because FMF cuts off Cosmonaut’s final part: where he states a short while later Light gets a girl friend (Misa/Mia). This completely changes things, as how many minutes into the anime does Light get a girlfriend?

Well, each episode is about 22 minutes long with episode 1 being 23. Light and Misa part ways about 3 minutes 15 seconds into Episode 14. However, about 2 minutes 40 seconds of each episode is opening and ending. So let’s do the math.

22 * 13 + 4.25 = 290.25

2.66 * 13 + 1.5 (the opening is about 1 minute 30 seconds) = 36.08

290.25 - 36.08 = 254.17

Each .01 is .6 seconds. so 17 X .6 is 10.2

the time to getting Misa is 290 minutes and 10.2 seconds. In the movie? Let’s just say 30 minutes for simplicity’s sake (it’s more like 27 minutes and 11 seconds). That’s a net difference of 260 minutes and 10.2 seconds. WELL over double the length of the movie. So Cosmonaut’s point makes sense, if a bit ill explained.

Also in this point, he says it doesn’t make sense because Cosmonaut said ‘I like it wasn’t two hours’ ... when anyone with awareness could tell that wasn’t an actual like, it was a potshot at the movie’s poor quality that it was short.

The next point is that Cosmonaut complains about the movie not fleshing out Light, Mia and Ryuk. FMF says the exposition before finding the Death Note is about explaining Light’s life situation. ... This is a really dishonest response because he cuts off Cosmonaut explaining himself, up to and including how he would have found the few scenes with Light, Ryuk and Mia interesting if they were all more fleshed out. Not only is this stuff not helping because only one third of his point is addressed- Light’s life situation is mostly technical and meant to build up his motivation whereas Cosmonaut is talking about Light and the others as people. It’s reliant on FMF either missing or misinterpreting the point, neither of which is acceptable.

Also, in the bit he doesn’t show, Cosmonaut says ‘I’m not saying make this two hours. For the love of God, don’t make this two hours long’ with an image of a man having a heart attack, which should have informed FMF than part of his previous point was based on taking a blatant joke seriously. ... Yeah.

Next point is...Nothing. No seriously, Cosmonaut says ‘spend some time making your main character likeable or relatable in any way’ and FMF just says ‘You can’t just say there’s nothing to like.’ He doesn’t even give an example whereas Cosmonaut does, showcasing that infamous scream of Light’s (given, FMF cut that part off.) He also considers this wrong by the way. Not in my words, his ‘Wrong’ counter goes up.

His next point is about when Cosmonaut says the logic of the movie is being dumb because Light chose the name Kira. FMF claims that the logic is sound because Light makes a dumb decision and he gets immediately figured out. Issue is that A. He cut Cosmonaut mentioning that Light in the anime never actually choosing the name (setting up how the name choosing is dumb) B. That it doesn’t get immediately figured out until L figures it out (a character meant to be smart) and C. The movie itself never treats the name as being a dumb decision, in fact the police are stated to have fallen for it. Nothing here functions.

The following point is ... another dishonest one. Cosmonaut says that L finding out that Kira’s name is a misdirection doesn’t make him look smart, it makes him look dumber than Light. And FMF responds by saying ‘that doesn’t make sense because L used the death of the first victim to find out where Light was, like the anime version did!’. Thing is, Cosmonaut is saying it makes him look dumb, not that he is. You normally don’t notice this because both involve discussing L’s intelligence, never realizing that FMF is talking about something different. This is a fallacy called ‘pivoting’: you see politicians doing this a lot. He’s being dishonest again.

Before we move onto the next point, I wanna point out that he skips Cosmonaut bitching about the movie giving L a reason to eat candy and how it doesn’t make sense. Thing is, Cosmonaut says that the movie is stating candies can keep you awake for 48 hours but the clip he shows doesn’t say that. It was 41 hours and the topic was keeping his mind focused. You’d think FMF would jump on this since he IS wrong here...but no, he doesn’t. Trust me when I say this becomes important later.

fMF;s next point is another case of cut context. He shows a clip of Cosmonaut saying some scenes were likely cut with an example of Ryuk saying he’s disappointed and that he said Light should give up the Death Note while FMF responds by saying Ryuk already informed him. Thing is, Cosmonaut is talking about Ryuk SAYING Light should give it up instead of INFORMING Light he can give it up like FMF says, playing a clip where Ryuk says as much (’I asked politely but you didn’t hear me: let the note go!’) and Cosmonaut even rebutes FMF’s point, saying what Ryuk did before was inform him of an option but not insisted on it (in fact egging Light on). Again, relying on cutting off his argument.

His point afterward is short but correct: Cosmonaut says L should be surprised Light knows his name and FMF shows that they revealed it earlier. I think it’s also the only point so far that he hasn’t cut off.

The next is one that FMF doesn’t cut off but is still rather sneaky. Cosmonaut says the movie is making the case for Light Turner being smart and FMF says the movie is making the case that Light is poor, has iffy morals ect. This is the scene that most people point to saying the movie says Light is smart here. FMF is trying to disprove that by giving an alternate interpretation. Thing is, why would anyone pay to have their homework partially done by a dumb person? That...doesn’t make sense. And Light has 15 customers at least, since he was found with at least 15 people’s homework on him when he was found after being punched (something FMF tries to use to say ‘see? He was punched for trying to be clever! The movie’s not saying he’s smart!’) so he should know this.

Afterward, he tackles Cosmonaut’s point about Light cracking under pressure by saying the pressure is mounting on him. I could understand this (ignoring how I’ve made this same point to him about RWBY...) except that in the anime even more pressure was on Light and he never cracked like this. Is Light Turner a different character? Yes...but no one mentions this.

“‘Lust for power’ is one of the most basic human motivations in the world.” is his next counter argument against Cosmonaut, who says ‘we never learn why Mia wants to kill everybody.” I’m afraid I can’t let the RWBY thing directly slid anymore because this standard could really affect his work: Cinder has the EXACT SAME motivation and no one buys that shit. We don’t buy it because there has to be a reason BEHIND the lust for power. Even Dio had this (he wanted power because of his fucked up childhood.) So he really should be calling this out himself. ESPECIALLY if he’s called out Cinder before.

Next up is FMF going on and on about how the movie shows Light isn’t smart (Err, no. Getting punched was suppose to show how crooked the system was) and how L is making this a game for his ego (he...never prove this beyond showing L refer to this as a game. Nothing for ego) in response to Light being called dumb... And why wouldn’t he be considered smart? He outright says L refers to him as smart and while he says it’s for his ego, not only is the homework thing logically about him being smart but the character Turner is adapted from is notoriously smart so that’s just...logical.

Next one is fucking weird. Cosmonaut says the rule about the Death Note’s burning page makes no sense and FMF says that while he agrees with it, he tries to insert a counter by saying that ‘taking Ryuk at face value, it might not work at all.’ ... The rule wasn’t said by Ryuk, it’s said in the Death Note. Ryuk was saying that he can only do it once. He fucked up a point he says he mostly agree with.

Next part is Cosmonaut saying it’s stupid that Watari only has one name and is using his real name and FMF says that it makes sense as Watari needs to be contacted to get to L...ignoring that you could just have a private number. And before someone complains at me since he says its an opinion: that ‘Wrong’ counter goes up and that ain’t an opinion so I’m not buying it.

The next part brings up that Light got Watari’s name from his dad, something Cosmonaut says L should have known better because L wasn’t a suspect yet while FMF points out that Light wasn’t a suspect yet. ... This is still calls L’s intelligence into question as he was giving out his partner’s name out so it can be researched...and he has the man undisguised with him in the open (which is how Light gets his face).

Next part I’ll give: This version of L is emotional so FMF is right...if he had taken the time to establish this is suppose to be a video looking at the movie on it’s own. FMF, you need to give context.

Next two are basically the same: Cosmonaut bitches about Light not giving a reason for not wanting to killing Watari and FMF cities ‘we don’t kill people’ and ‘survival instinct’ for why he would want to kill L as reasons...which brings up: wouldn’t killing Watari also fall under ‘survival instinct’? Kill L’s ally/possible avenger?

The next point is really stupid. It’s bitching about the moment where Watari dies, Cosmonaut saying that it doesn’t make sense that Watari doesn’t reveal L’s name while FMF says that Ryuk could have interpreted his ‘dealer’s choice’ to kill him without revealing the name to fuck with Light...Ryuk’s never acted to fuck with Light like that before (could have interpreted the names being written to mean [Reveal Light’s name to the world] too) and ‘dealer’s choice’ refers to the type of death, not what everything in it means.

He then mocks Cosmonaut for saying a scene of Ryuk saying ‘dealer’s choice!’ disproved what Cosmonaut said before. Ignoring that I have personally seen him pull this on RWBY- He does this same thing here NUMEROUS TIMES with Cosmonaut. It still doesn’t make sense because Ryuk, when Watari’s circumstances are written down, mentioned the cause of death SPECIFICALLY. That’s why there’s an issue.

Afterward Cosmonaut bitches that Mia can’t get the Death Note because he needs to live it alone for seven days while FMF corrects him as he shows Light can just give it up. Nothing really bad here (in a vacuum). Same with the ‘finding Light’ thing that comes after (in a vacuum).

Next is FMF being suspicious again. He cuts up Cosmonaut’s argument about why there is so many police at the pier and why the are there that he cuts out a part of Cosmonaut’s point (that they found L so there’s no reason for so much force there). And his ‘within reason’ thing pops up again even as he doesn’t afford Cosmonaut that. Same with the ‘L said Light is Kira and he took my gun’ counter to Cosmonaut even though in any other circumstance he would have ignored that.

Next is...confusing AND bullshit. Cosmonaut says that, with Light writing that if Mia takes the Death Note she dies, the Death Note is never shown to have these kinds of deaths. And FMF says that...it wasn’t the Death Note. ... Even though the end, Light did write that down. FMF tries to justify this by saying Mia was forced to do it by the Death Note by referencing her saying ‘I love you so much’ and looking shocked when getting the Death note...what he DOESN’T show you is Light saying ‘If you love me, you gotta trust me. Don’t take the book’ before her line, Light getting distracted by his dad afterward, panicking when she takes it THEN her looking shocked as she said ‘What?’. FMF is pretty much LYING at that point.

Cosmonaut has this really big point about Light’s plan from the movie’s climax where FMF attacks some of the aspects. One is him saying Light needed to discredit L to get off the hook (even though he never shows the part about the criminal being brainwashed into doing Light’s dirty work to clear his name.) He brings up Watari not knowing where L’s orphanage is...even though he could have learned about it off screen.

And we end with him making a technical error: he says that the page L has also has the rules/instructions on it...and I can’t tell what it says. So it’s as good as worthless.

Cosmonaut did make a few mistakes and FMF could have made an actual good video by addressing how he doesn’t explain the points he makes against the movie...but that isn’t what he did. Instead of going for smaller but truthful criticisms, he goes for big, flashy and ultimately fault at the VERY best and disgustingly manipulative at worst. All of this without mentioning his hypocrisy with RWBY (example: he ignores anything that doesn’t happen on screen and gives no logical concessions to the show while demanding Cosmonaut do that.) Even when giving him some credit, the man makes it so his targets always look better out of it because he’s so dishonest and manipulative.

Honestly, no one should look to him for inspiration or good points. Because even with a video as bare bones and basic as Cosmonaut, he makes it look like a work of Robert Ebert.

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hamliet · 6 years ago

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GOT 8.03 I Know Death

Well... I can’t lie. If the WW threat is really over, that was a wee bit of a letdown, but seriously WHAT A WAY TO GO. That was honestly one of the most brutal hours of television I’ve ever watched. I’m not surprised the true enemy is Cersei but. Sigh. Supposedly episodes 3-5 are like... one cohesive story according to the director with a beginning middle and end soooo I have questions?

Whatever. Let’s talk characters.

First of all, IS GHOST OKAY????

A moment of silence for Edd, Beric, LYANNA, and the nameless characters we still cared for. Double moments for Jorah and Theon, Amen. Lyanna did not deserve to die, but at least she took out a giant?

JORAH and THEON

The big deaths imo. If it wasn’t clear, they were always parallel characters. Their arcs both follow the same structure:

trust (Theon is like family, Jorah Dany’s most trusted/House Mormont)–>

betrayal (of the Starks for Theon for the sake of his blood family, of Dany for the sake of returning to his blood family for Jorah)–>

suffering (Reek and exile to Essos/for the Dany betrayal, greyscale)–>

redemption (saving Dany from the Dothraki, saving Sansa)–>

near-death experience (greyscale and losing Yara to Euron)–>

forgiveness (Dany welcoming Jorah, Lyanna Mormont wishing him luck; Sansa embracing Theon)–>

death saving someone they once betrayed. Jorah, saving Dany. Theon, saving Bran, the boy he lied about killing.

Not to mention they both have love stories that alas, are not to be, with Sansa for Theon (you can interpret the love however you wish) and with Dany for Jorah, though that one was unrequited romantically, it was still love.

Not to mention both of them completed “redemption(esque)” arcs, along with...

MELISANDRE

I’m not getting into this Azor Ahai stuff because the writing on that looks skeptical at best to me. Still, she was able to fulfill her desires--to save the world basically--and die in relative peace. I liked her moment of doubt in her faith before the trenches lit as well.

ARYA and BRAN

Arya is the person who, after all, has been bragging about knowing death and its many faces, who trained to become an agent of death. Her killing the NK is a way of her asserting herself as a part of the living, as a Stark, not as a faceless (wo)man. The fact that she did it protecting Bran further cements this. She is a Stark of Winterfell. She is not nor has she ever been no one.

TYRION and SANSA and MISSANDEI and GILLY

Missandei and Gilly may not have major roles, but they are parallels and if one is okay the other should be as well. Missandei’s line to Sansa was great, and I say that as a massive Sansa stan (she’s my favorite character). Dany sacrificed so much to save them all, and none of them would be alive without her.

I liked Sansa’s scenes with Tyrion as well. It was a good way to give closure to that relationship.

The scene in the crypts, though, was agonizing, but for me the true horror was long before the dead broke in, the scene when people outside were begging to be let in, and they couldn’t save them. They truly could not, and that was agonizing, but it was the right thing to do, and Sophie Turner did a great job showing the anguish on Sansa’s face. You can’t save everyone.

BRIENNE and JAIME

They saved each other, amen. And Pod is alive.

DANY and JON (and CERSEI )

Well, now the focus will likely shift back to politicking. Again, I’m not here for Mad Queen bullshit--or, er, well, there is indeed a Mad Queen: Cersei. Who didn’t appear for two whole episodes so I’m absolutely terrified.

Dany has lost Jorah, the one who has been with her since season 1, the closest thing she has to family since her husband and her baby died which is pretty traumatizing. Let’s break down how this season is challenging Dany: its methodically picking apart what she thinks she knows about herself and her family and her value. She assumed it was all on her to continue the honor and legacy of her family (the Iron Throne). Now, she has a relative still alive and will probably have another family member soon (more later). The Iron Throne isn’t hers according to the rules of succession. Everything Dany has believed about herself has been flipped now. She also just lost Viserion, who was like her child, her dragons are injured, and the Dothraki, her tie to her first husband and her dead child, the people who follow her like the free folk follow Jon, were massacred. Dany has lost a lot. I am expecting Dany to be in the lowest place we’ve ever seen her next episode. I’ve said before the Iron Throne is a coping mechanism; she’ll probably cling to it even more because she has nothing else... except Jon.

Theory time: I’m honestly guessing that Dany is pregnant, or will be in the next couple episodes to further extend the foiling with Cersei (it’s dumb AF writing if she isn’t, since that was simply foreshadowed too strongly not to happen), and I do think she’ll lose the other two dragons eventually to parallel losing her three “dragon children” with Cersei losing her three children. Does she want the Iron Throne, the childhood coping mechanism, the story Viserys used to feed her as a child to keep her going while assassins were trailing them, or does she want a family? (She wants the latter I think.) The choice will be to become Cersei or become like Sansa, to remain a child clinging to stories or to be an adult and choose her fate.

Which... again there’s inherent misogyny in that because a woman CAN have power and a family and that both Cersei and Dany are portrayed as “oh noes the danger!” is irritating, but w/e. They’re probably going to drag this “will she won’t she” out until the last couple episodes, but there’s no point to her ending up like Cersei. That being said, one thing I will say is that I reallllllly do appreciate that the women are getting the arcs.

One more thing on the deaths: I just knooow there will be people complaining about the lack of major-major deaths, but really, it’s fairly predictable that most of the MCs with arcs still need to finish said arcs. I am still betting that we’re going to have MC character deaths in the next three episodes. I do not, however, expect Bran, Sansa, Arya, Jon, or Dany to be among them. Really, I get annoyed when ppl complain about the lack of major deaths–anyone with a narrative background could have told you Catelyn, Robb, and Ned dying was inevitable because the story is about the children and specifically the cripples, the bastards, the broken things, rising up and creating a better world than the ones their fathers left for them (oh hey, Dany said that to Yara–whom I also think will survive thanks to Theon’s death). I also think Davos, Brienne, Grey Worm and Missandei, and Sam and Gilly (and Little Sam) should survive. All of these characters are characterized by loyalty and justness, just like Ned Stark was. However, unlike Ned? They’ve all been able to grow and learn to be wise with their loyalty. Game of Thrones isn’t as unpredictable as you might think; stories follow narrative structures, GOT just happens to excel at red herrings.

#theonsa #theon greyjoy #jorah mormont #got meta #game of thrones #got season 8 episode 3 #the battle of winterfell #lyanna mormont #melisandre #arya stark #night king #bran stark #sansa stark #tyrion lannister

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bigtiddycommity · 6 years ago

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Clé: Miroh (3)

Pairing: Bang Chan x reader ft. Stray kids & Got7

Warnings: Slight profanity

Summary: An up and coming singer is introduced to the rough and unfair world of the music industry when she is tricked into a fake relationship with a popular idol. Her entire world has been turned upside down and now not only is she hated by millions of fans around the world but she is now despised by her...boyfriend?

———————-

Auriella, though seen as a bubbly and happy person, did not live a simple life. When she was born, her birth parents abandoned her at an orphanage with nothing but a raggedy baby blanket and her name written on a note. That's it.

Her life in the orphanage was hell, to say the least. Young Auriella was bullied, mistreated and lonely. The other orphans at the home she was in always felt the need to push her around and belittle her in everything she did. Auriella tried hard to fit in and did all sorts of favors in hopes of being accepted, but to no avail. The mistreatment didn't stop until Auriella was taken out of the orphanage by her record label.

Auriella has been through hell and back yet still woke every morning with a smile on her face. She had her group, who she had worked skin and bone for, be taken away from her, been forced to uproot her entire life and move across the world for a group of people she had never met. Nevermind all of the bullshit she had to endure in her childhood. She was far from selfish and this ignorant stranger, Bang Chan, had no right to sit and assume he knew anything about her.

She tried to be nice and civil but enough was enough. Auriella would not sit back and be treated unfairly by someone she sacrificed so much for. Yes, both Auriella and Chan were forced into this situation but Chan had nothing, absolutely nothing, taken away from him. Okay, he moved from a tiny dorm and into a gigantic mansion, free of charge. So what? No. He didn't get to complain. He didn't get to complain because he still had his group and he still had his parents. From Auriella’s point of view, she picked the short stick of the situation. Yet, he had the right to complain? Hell no.

“I was tricked into signing that contract. I was in a pretty successful group back in the states, but you wouldn't know that, would you?” She looks deep into Bang Chan’s eyes. “We just released an album, that I spent a year writing and perfecting by the way, and the next thing I know I get called into a meeting expecting a conversation about the songs I wrote for the album but you wanna know what I got instead?” Auriella was standing now. He wanted answers? He was about to get them. Loud and clear.

“Pray tell, your majesty, what did little baby Auriella get?” Chan continued to tease her despite the tears of anger and frustration he saw rolling down her face.

“A plane ticket and a letter of termination from my group.” Everyone in the room was shocked to hear the young girl’s blunt response.

“What are you-” Chan began to ask but Auirella wasn't done.

“That's right. I was pulled out of the group that I started and shoved on a plane. Why? Because your company wanted you to have more publicity to promote your group.” She made sure to maintain eye contact with the leader while she emphasized to ensure he was getting the point.

“You hear anything odd about what I just said, Chan? Because I did.” Auriella made sure to single him out. He was the only one of the members to treat her unfairly. “All of this was done for you, therefore you are the only one to benefit in any way. I lost my group, so you could keep yours. I had to halt my career, so you could get more attention for yours. I had to move to the other side of the fucking world for you! So no, Chan, this isn't my fault, it's yours.” She pointed an accusing finger at the now silent idol, who continued to stare at the spot in front of him.

“I tried to make the best of the situation because at least one of us would benefit somehow. Even if I lost everything, at least you and your group would be better off. Hell, I even bought this house so you could all be more comfortable. I chose not to fight and throw a fit over this situation because I don't want to be selfish and only think of myself. What do you know about that? Being selfless?” She had lowered her voice now, drained and frustrated from the treatment she had received as well as the unnecessary argument.

Some of the members who were still learning english turned to Felix and Jisung for a better translation of what had just occurred. By the time the two boys had finished explaining, Auriella had vanished. The entire dining room fell silent as the shock set in with the new information that was revealed.

“Like I was saying, hyung, she was forced into the situation too, but what do I know, right?” Changbin said looking at his leader in irritation. He had tried to say this earlier but Chan was quick to cut off his words and deem his input as irreverent.

“Changbin-ah-” Chan sighed, disappointed in himself.

“Don't bother.” Changbin pushed out his chair and walked off towards the staircase leading to his room.

Chan messed up. He knew that now. Not only had he misjudged an innocent girl but he also unfairly lost his temper on one of his members and he knew he had to make things better.

Since dinner was clearly over, the remaining members cleared the table and soon excused themselves to their respective rooms. Bang chan stayed behind though and went out to the balcony to get some fresh air. On days when he felt overwhelmed or stressed, he liked to go out alone to think and reevaluate things that were on his mind.

Chan wished he had given Aurilla a chance. All of the things Chan fought for, Auriella had taken from her and it was her fault. He cursed at her, teased and made fun of her while she had been nothing but nice and welcoming to him and his group. She cooked for them and even bought a large house so that they could more comfortable. How did he repay her? By calling her names and blaming her for something he knew nothing about.

“I am such a dick.” Chan muttered to the dark sky, as he looked to the stars.

“Yes, you are.” A soft voice startles him out of his thoughts. “Glad to know that you’re aware.”

“Auriella..” He stands to find the new voice in the darkness.

Coming into the light and closing the sliding door, Auriella signed and sat on one of the many chairs out on the deck. “I get it, Chan. You fight tooth and nail for your group and to make your family proud and you didn't want to risk a stranger messing up any of that for you. I get it.”

“If I knew..I am so sorry, Auriella. I swear, I had no idea that they did all of that to you and your group. You did so much for us and I just..” The disappointment and shame was clear in the boy’s voice.

Auriella stared at him for a moment. He wasn't a bad person, he was afraid and fragile. Auriella knew the music industry all too well and she was aware of the harsh conditions and rules of it as well. Though Korea was an entirely different place, she had heard enough horror stories of the industry on this part of the world to stay away and be cautious. He was just trying to protect himself and his group from the harsh world that was K-pop.

Thought she understood, that didn't give him the right to treat her the way. She had lost too much and sacrificed too much for him and all he could do was judge and assume. He didn't have to like her and she didn't have to like him but they were stuck. Al they had to do was pretend until their companies took pity on them and let them out of their contract.

“How about this,” She suggested with a smile, a faint outline of her dimple making itself clear. “You stay out of my way, and I stay out of yours. We do what JYP wants until this whole thing is over and we leave it at that.” She said, keeping firm eye contact.

Chan was startled to hear that. “I-i dont-.”

“You don't have to like me. You don't have to be my friend. But you don't get to judge me or assume anything about my life because you don't know me.” Without giving the boy a second glance, the small girl walked off back into the house, her footsteps fading into the darkness.

__________________________________

The next morning, sounds of laughter and squeals filled the large kitchen. After Auriella had gone back into the house the night before, Jisung bumped to Auriella and saw she was upset. After staying up most of the night venting and getting to know one another, Jisung and Auriella had gotten close.

“You're gonna burn the bacon, Han!” Auriella giggled as he bumped his hips into hers, pushing her away from her mixing bowl of pancake batter.

“Me? I have no idea what you mean.” Jisung laughed, his Malaysian accent stronger than ever.

The two were oblivious to the nine pairs of eyes watching them from the entrance to the kitchen. The ruckus of pots, pans and laughter had awoken the group of sleeping boys from their slumber. Meeting each other in the hallway and sharing looks of confusion, they followed the sounds down the stairs and soon found their member and the young girl cooking. Together.

After a few moments of watching and whispering to one another, Minho cleared his throat to break apart the giggling pair.

“Uh..good morning?” Hyunjin greeted in english.

“Good morning! How’d you all seep?” Auriella beamed.

“Umm pretty good. I see you two are friendly this morning.” Felix said, eyeing the two cautiously.

Jisung shared a kind smile with the smaller girl and turned back to the stove.

“Jeongin, honey?” Auriella called out sweetly to the young boy. She was going to need some help setting the table for breakfast.

“Noona?” He replied almost instantly, seemingly out of habit.

The room grew quiet. They hadn't gotten a chance to talk about honorifics yet, seeing as Auriella wasn't a korean but would be living in korea from now on.

“I’m sorry?” Auriella looked shocked. Had he just cursed at her in korean?

Jisung laughed at the girls offended expression. “We need to teach you korean as soon as possible.”

As the group sat down eating breakfast, Chan’s phone rang and his tone changed from calm to serious and down to business. Once he hung up, he cleared his throat to get everyone's attention.

“That was JYP, he wants us to meet him at the company.” He announced.

“Us as in..?” Felix asked.

Chan turned to Auriella, looking in her general direction but still not directly at her, “All of us.”

In the car on the way to the company, the boys told Auriella about basic korean expectations when it came to elders. They told her about bowing and taught her a few polite words to use in vase they ran into any other artists that were older than them. They were taken through a back alley way and into a secret door to avoid being seen and photographed. They didn't need to explain a ‘mystery girl’ to their fans just yet, not until the company was ready for them to.

After getting into an elevator and going up a few floors, the group walked into the room they were told to go to and walked in to find JYP sitting behind his desk.

“Welcome come in, come in.” Auriella was surprised to hear english coming from the man.

“Hi! What’s-” The bubbly girl began to say just as the boys behind her bowed and greeted in korean. Whoops.

“Auriella, remember what I said about-” Felix started.

“No, no it's okay. So you must be the famous Auriella. You're very cute.” JYP said smiling down at the small girl.

“Oh, thank you, sir.” The girl blushed and began fiddling with her fingers.

“Aigoo.” The man cooed. “You'll fit right in here. Everyone is going to love you. How are you all getting along? I hope these boys haven't given you any trouble. “He looked back up to the members behind her, raising an eyebrow.

Auriella didn't hesitate. “They've been great! I think we’ll be good friends.” she smiled big.

Chan let out a breath he didn't know he was holding. Even though him and Auriella had talked, barley, he didn't expect her to be so quick to cover his unfair actions towards her.

“I’m glad to hear that!” He exclaimed. “Well, the reason I called you all down her is because I thought you might be a bit more comfortable if you met some more people. Since you're going to be around from now on, I thought it would be nice to introduce you to some other artists here at the company.” He explained.

“Oh, yes! That would be nice. I’m always open to making new friends.” She was excited. If she was going to be stuck in a foreign country, at least she could make new friends and memories.

“Great! A lot of our artists are busy with tours and comebacks at the moment but one of our other groups happen to have a free schedule today and are very excited to meet you.” He said.

“They know me?” She asked shyly.

“Yes, they do and one of the members is your biggest fan, so he's been waiting to meet you.” He confessed with a wink and kind smile.

“Now I cant wait. I love meeting my fans.” She said, feeling giddy.

“Well, come on, they are in one of the practice rooms.”

The group followed JYP down the hall and into a room that had loud music and laughter coming from it. Walking in, there were 7 boys total spread all throughout the room. Some were lying across the floor while some stood against the mirrored wall or in a chair. They all turned their heads towards the door when they walked in.

Jyp said something in Korean to the new group of boys after one of the men turned off the stereo. They all got into a line and bowed to their CEO and the members of Stray Kids did the same to their superior group as well. The tallest member of the group locked eyes with Auriella but quickly looked away when she sent a smile his way.

Auriella, I would like you to meet Got7. They-” The CEO didn't get a chance to finish before an excited male voice squealed.

“Ella!?”

The girl was confused. The only person who called her that was-

“Jack-jack?” The boy in question opened his arms wide towards the small girl as she ran to him and jumped onto him with a loud giggle.

The remaining people in the room were confused at the sudden interaction of the two hugging people.

Felix turned to his leader. “How does she know Jackson sunbaenim?” he whispered.

“I have no clue, mate, but they seem..” Chan paused as they all watched Jackson kisses her forehead and spin her in a circle. “Close?”

Chan didn't know why but he felt his face reddened slightly in envy as Auriella looked up to his sunbae with such a bright smile. She tried to be kind to him and he ruined it. Now she hated him, and it was his fault. She didn't smile at him like that. So bright and happy. How did they know each other? And how were they so close?

Chan had a lot of time to re-think and regret his actions towards Auriella. He tried many times to approach her but each time, she brushed him off coldly. He just wanted to start over. He had unknowingly ruined her life and he wanted to at least try to make that better, but he couldn't do that if she avoided him like the plague.

He wanted to be her friend too. In the short time she was around, he couldn't help but notice is members becoming more and more infatuated with her. Her tiny squeaks when someone would pop up in front of her unexpectedly, how she would turn red in the face when one of the members would keep eye contact a little too long. She was sweet and kind and innocent and she had been handed an unfair battle that she couldn't win; a contract. Bang Chan just wanted to fix the mess he caused. That would be though, considering she wanted nothing to do with him.

“I heard an Auriella was coming but I had no idea it was my little baby! How have you been? Last I heard you were trying to get signed to a record label.” Jackson Wang said as he looked down at the small girl.

“I got signed to one! Ugh so much has happened, you wouldn't believe.” She said with a look. “ Hows mama? And papa? Are doing well?” She started up at Jackson.

“Wait, how do you guys know each other?” JYP asked, his voice full of confusion.

“We met a national tournament. I was on the national fencing team and little Ella here,” He rubbed her head affectionately. “was chosen to sing the national anthem. My family and I were assigned to take care of her while she was in China and she stayed with us and traveled with the team while we competed.” He explained.

“Ah, I see.” The CEO said. “Well, it's nice to see that she already has a friend here. You guys seem close.” He observed.

“You have to meet everyone!” Jacson exclaimed, jumping about. He pulled the small girl by her waist towards his eager group mates and began introducing them to each other.

“Oh, and this is our youngest member, Yugyeom. He’s your biggest fan.” Jackson wiggled his eyebrows as he introduced his two friends.

“I heard you were a fan. I’m so excited to meet you!” Auriella smiled brightly as she held her hand to the taller boy.

“I-it is nice to meet you.” He stuttered, discreetly wiping his right hand on his shirt before shaking the girls petite hand. Yugyeom’s heart sped up the moment their hands touched. The boy had been a fan of her and her group for years, constantly talking about her to his members which led to teasing but he never thought he would ever get the chance to meet her, let alone be signed to the same company.

Jackson saw how flustered his bandmate had become and laughed and put his arm around Auriella once more.

“You can stare at her later, maknae.” He teased before turning to look at the young girl at his side. “You and I have some catching up to do.”

Across the room, the members of Stray kids stared in awe at the unexpected reunion.

“Wow, that's so amazing. It's a small world, huh?” Felix said, amazed.

“Yeah, crazy.” Chan replied, sounding distracted, staring at the group before him but his eyes were distant.

#jyp entertainment #stray kids #stray kids chan #stray kids changbin #stray kids chris #stray kids felix #stray kids han #stray kids hyunjin #stray kids jeongin #stray kids jisung #stray kids lee know #stray kids minho #stray kids seungmin #stray kids reactions #stray kids requests #kpop reactions #bang chan

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mcgnuficentia · 6 years ago

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A LONG ASS ANALYSIS ON THE MIDFORD FAMILY.

PART 1. FRANCIS MIDFORD.

i’m going to use the kuroshitsuji wikia as start-point. i’ll also use some key concepts applied in the systems theory in psychology, heavily used for families and couples. system is referred to the family itself, the group and their environment. rigid is not exactly a positive quality, because the balance lays in the flexibility of the system. and finally, an united family doesn’t equal a loving family.

so let’s get started!

francis is the matriarch of the midford family, she seems to be actually the head of the family as she is heavily respected because of her strong character. francis respects the laws and justice, she is blunt and clean, she is beauty and she is grace. now let’s see how the wiki describes her to analyse it part by part:

“Francis is a proud and strict individual who is renowned for her tremendous ambition and prowess. She is a candid critic, and often directly voices her opinions of others. She abides by the rules, abstains from desire and temptation, and never hides her actions; for these reasons, she is highly respected. Prompt and committed, she has a tendency to arrive at destinations earlier than expected or planned. Moreover, she is extraordinarily dedicated, for she continues to cultivate her strength with rigorous training even after her marriage with Alexis Leon Midford.

Francis regards people she deems lazy and indecorous with disdain, having insulted Ciel Phantomhive's bed head and called Sebastian Michaelis "indecent." Nevertheless, she does eventually gain considerable respect for both of them, and she holds Tanaka in great esteem, as indicated when she told Ciel and Sebastian to learn from him in terms of appearances. Additionally, she believes that unruliness in the home environment will ultimately lead to the moral decadence of a person, and is very attentive to detail and concerned about maintaining cleanliness. Francis deeply cares about her family, and it is extremely important to her that Elizabeth marries a man who can adequately take care of her.”

francis is a rigid woman. we certainly don’t have information by the way she was raised by claudia and cedric, but i can say that vincent got away with everything he did, which makes me think that obviously vincent was the favorite. francis decided to become so rigid, abiding the rules to show her parents she was way more correct than her brother, probably to get their attention.

this caused francis to be rude to others, she thinks she is blunt, but she just voices out her thoughts when something is not correct for her. this only makes her to feel superior in some way, thinking that people are not as correct or even as clean as she is. who is francis to say what’s proper and what’s not though? she shows a high ego and narcissism that lead her to believe she is perfect, and this is sign of possible negligence in her childhood coming from thoughts like “i am so perfect, i abide by the rules, and my brother, despite being a mess, is the gem of the family.” it also says that she abstains from desire and temptation. unlike who? vincent of course.

now we’re starting to get the parts connected, she doesn’t want to be like vincent at all, and she cares about her brother but maybe there’s some jealousy there considering he was the loved one despite being a moron. he didn’t go to class, he was lazy, he was a mess, and he wasn’t exactly a man of justice. those are all the things francis despite and it honestly can’t be a coincidence. she grew up seeing how someone like him got all the attention and love, and it didn’t matter how much she tried to be correct and perfect, she would never be her brother. so what’s left? despising those qualities on others. vincent probably called her boring, because she doesn’t enjoy life, she doesn’t like to yield to her desires and temptations are from the devil. she never hides her actions, but she is unconsciously hiding all her grudges.

highly respected, don’t you mean feared? remember that respect and fear are often confused. and yes, people fear francis, they wouldn’t dare to mess with her, not even vincent and that’s for a reason. let’s be real, francis is not very friendly. i headcanon she was shy in her teenage years, but that shyness made her defensive, that shyness made her rude. she was afraid to open up to people because she was not like her brother. she wasn’t an extrovert and she wasn’t fun. she was boring because she stick to the rules, so opening up to others would be a waste of time right?

“Prompt and committed, she has a tendency to arrive at destinations earlier than expected or planned. Moreover, she is extraordinarily dedicated, for she continues to cultivate her strength with rigorous training even after her marriage with Alexis Leon Midford.”

she goes by her own rules. she doesn’t consider others, her time is HER time and whoever dared to mess with it was the problem. not her. she arrives earlier than expected or planned, that means she doesn’t ask because everything has to be done whenever she wants.

extraordinarily dedicated more like she needs a way to let out her anger. in psychoanalysis is said that when an individual don’t let their desires out, they become symptoms. some symptoms are seem in the daily life, like washing your hands too often. in francis case, she lets everything out by fencing, by practicing with her sword. her strength is the only way she can vent. because a lady doesn’t complain, and she hates when people complaint because she can’t do it. so yeah, practicing and getting more strength is the only way to keep her mind sane, especially after marrying alexis, because she is not going to act at the feet of a man. she has to be stronger than him to get power.

“Francis regards people she deems lazy and indecorous with disdain”

again, this is probably because of her brother. like i mentioned before, vincent was lazy and he did whatever he want whenever he wanted. of course francis wouldn’t like that, but she couldn’t say anything to him, and even if he did he wasn’t going to listen. so she is going to unload that on other people, because it’s a reflection of those negative traits she disliked about vincent.

“Additionally, she believes that unruliness in the home environment will ultimately lead to the moral decadence of a person, and is very attentive to detail and concerned about maintaining cleanliness.”

this one is very interesting. according to freud’s psycho-sexual stages, this is because of an anal fixation. this meant that she wasn’t in good care when she was learning to use her sphincter. i know, sounds weird but when a kid has problems when they are learning to go the bathroom, they develop some kind of obsession with order and cleanliness. at the same time, this is a typical trait of controlling people, which we just confirmed that is normal in francis. she is the controlling type, at the point of saying that a dirty home is a moral decadence. which is a lie, some people find order in the mess!

“Francis deeply cares about her family, and it is extremely important to her that Elizabeth marries a man who can adequately take care of her.”

does she? this was called my attention the most, because it says that francis deeply cares about her family, but she treats alexis like some kind of dog. edward is traumatized and lizzie barely sees her. i dare to say paula is more a motherly figure to lizzie than francis herself.

this might sounds harsh, but francis is not a good a mother and i wonder if she is even a good wife. we don’t know mucha bout alexis but i can say she does whatever she wants with him, and he allows her. about her parenting method, she didn’t do a great job with edward. edward is awkward, edward is scared of breaking the rules because he knows his mother is going to be the first one complaining and dishonoring him. in the blue cult arc when edward is obviously trying to save lizzie, what she does is taking him away from the stage and scolds him for looking like that, she didn’t even give edward time to explain why he was doing that. now lizzie, in the same blue cult arc when edward comes home and asks where lizzie is, she seems relaxed like “nah she is not here”. c’mon woman, your daughter is missing and you act as if it’s normal, as the only one alarmed and worried is edward, francis doesn’t even seems to care. now, she only cares about lizzie marrying a man that take care of her? she... she really is going to act like that now? after wanting to be stronger than alexis and treating her man like a pet, she wants lizzie to be just an accessory for a man? i’m sorry but, francis should realize lizzie is way too strong and she can take care of herself alone. lizzie doesn’t need a man, and that “ohhh she needs to marry someone that take care of her” sounds like i’m selling my daughter to a rich man”. she doesn’t even see lizzie unless it’s a sword practice, and edward is basically invisible in the household. does she really care about her children? bullshit. such a loving mother, of course.

#( character study. )#( midford family. )#( getting to know more of edward's background. )#LISTEN DONT GET ME WRONG I LOVE FRANCIS #but she is not a good mother and you cant change my mind

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the-erudite-library · 7 years ago

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Random Headcanons

- In addition to members of one’s own faction not being allowed to administer their aptitude test, teachers are also not allowed to. the theory is that a personal relationship could compromise the integrity of the tests and stems from a teacher sabotaging tests to protect her divergent students

- Peter is unexpectedly good with kids. He probably has younger siblings, right? Wrong, he’s an only child. His parents are both prosecutors and he personally has never worked with children. He doesn’t even especially care for kids as a concept, but still they flock to him and trust him implicitly. Animals too.

- Tori knew Evelyn, Jeanine, and Andrew growing up. She thought that Andrew and Jeanine were smarmy assholes, but was pretty cool with Evelyn

- The chicago experiment has been been running for about 500 years

- The notion of faction before blood was something that was popularized in the third century after the founders were dead and gone. They would have thought it was complete bullshit because they knew that the damage really truly dividing people could do

- Susan has a massive crush on Tris and has since they were like 13 and is just constantly dropping very obvious hints and internally screaming when Tris fails to pick up on them

- The Bureau that we encounter in Allegiant is just the Chicago branch. There’s a national bureau and international bureau, and experiments both successful (sort of) and failed all over the world. The international bureau is oversight that isn’t really doing its job and takes a very hands off approach as their more out there branches commit egregious human rights violations against the GD residents of the headquarters and those living within the experiments

- Many GD employees of the bureau that live and work within much larger branches find themselves (no matter how well educated they are) slamming into a glass ceiling way too quickly for their liking and many find the solution to be to transfer to more remote branches with less oversight that will give them a little more wiggle room. Many of Nita’s supporters within the bureau were transfers who came out to Chicago in search of that freedom and found themselves sorely disappointed

- Eric has a sister who is 11 years older than him and lives in Erudite. She’s stern, and sharp tongued, and meaner than hell, and she and Eric bicker constantly. He loves her utterly and she just adores him.

- Faction before blood is less of a hard rule and more like a cultural norm. Like, some people definitely think it’s utter bullshit and do as they please and no one can really stop them because what they’re doing isn’t wrong it just seems weird. There are lots of families who meet up outside of visiting day and cross faction lines to stick close to each other. Even some friends do that.

- It’s a taboo to sleep with people in other factions and depending on the faction you can be expelled for it (Abnegation & Dauntless; while Candor and Erudite judge on a case by case basis). But that doesn’t mean it doesn’t happen and many divergent are the result of inter-faction affairs

- Jeanine’s parents had a crazy dysfunctional marriage and really weren’t great to her either. Her mother was a workaholic who had never wanted kids in the first place but much of the reason that she was so unhappy had nothing to do with Jeanine at all. She was very gay and very in denial of it; part of the reason she worked so much was to dodge her very physically affectionate husband. Her father was a bit pushy and overbearing, though he cared very little for what Jeanine was actually interested in and who she was as a person and was far more invested in her achievements that he could brag about. He also quietly resented his wife both for her frigidity and her refusal to have more kids with him. Despite all of this, Jeanine didn’t have an awful childhood. She knew her parents were a mess and simply learned to tune out their fighting, they were hardly home enough for it to bother her much anyways.

- Neither Andrew nor Natalie had an aptitude for Abnegation. Andrew was Erudite and Natalie was 100% GP, they loved the family they had together and tried to love their faction but they didn’t like it very much. Andrew grew up on the ritzier side of Erudite and some of the quirks that came with that lingered for quite some time and he never quite shook the urge to be nosy. He doesn’t do mindless routine and throws himself into his work constantly because he needs that kind of stimulation in the mundanity of the rest of his life. Natalie handles it a little better but she too gets a restless itch under her skin that just yearns to do something, anything. Tris saw them as the perfect Abnegation but that was because over sixteen years she managed to miss every single one of her parents’ off the wall conversations as they curled up in each other’s arms because the other thing that made the restless energy better was touch as they spoke of everything under the star; and never knew the way that Andrew’s days were an exercise in patience, in listening, in not screaming because he isn’t wired to enjoy mundanity; and the way that Natalie would pace in the living room because she couldn’t run laps until she was ready to pass out like she wanted to.

- Andrew is a stupidly tactile person; he prefers affection through touch and when he was younger this was not in any way restricted to his romantic relationships. Half the reason people thought he and Jeanine were dating was just because he was so all over her all the time and she seemed to enjoy it plenty, or at least she never complained. Suffice it to say, he does not like Abnegation’s aversion to touch at all and it took him a hilariously long time to get into the habit of not just wrapping his arms around Natalie and pulling her close to him for no other reason than he liked her and would like her even more if she were a couple inches closer.

- Jeanine was awful, that’s definitely true, but the guy she learned it from was worse. Norton was a terror, no getting around it; he was actually a pretty nice guy on the surface and got along with most people pretty easily. That was what made the things he did so unbelievable. As a scientist, Norton relished intellectual debate as he felt that it spurred progress; as a politician, he absolutely didn’t tolerate dissent in any form. He went after the Divergent yes, with a vengeance, but he had his detractors eliminated in equal measure indiscriminately. For him there were no other options, every point was a breaking one and he considered every slight intolerable. He was still better than the Dauntless leader he worked with, Max’s predecessor. To say her methods were horrifying to behold would be an understatement. People laughed as the sub-leadership positions seemed to change hands once every couple of years but how no one figured out that Norton and the Dauntless leader were killing people who had doubts about them was one sickening miracle.

- Jeanine, on the other hand, preferred to deal with her problems - the Divergent excluded - in other ways. She didn’t relish senseless violence and after learning who Norton truly was beneath his affable surface, frankly found the man and his methods to be harsh and over the top. If there were ways to find compromises that worked in her favor, she would find them. She believed it was of much greater benefit to her to have an army of puppets than a mass grave. Usually the way she dealt with people who made things complicated was first to offer them a peaceful out, one of those exact compromise that worked in her favor and basically ripped any power they’d thought they had out from under them. If that failed, she would - almost always with a near insulting degree of nonchalantness - blackmail them. Everyone has secrets they would kill to keep and Jeanine made it her business to know every single one of them. If that failed then she disgraced them; dragged the secrets she’d threatened to share and more out before the world and let the press have a field day ripping that poor soul to shreds. If somehow that still didn’t shut them up, then yeah she killed them and was so annoyed that it got to that point that she didn’t even feel bad about it. They’d practically brought it on themselves.

- Dauntless and Erudite don’t have a whole lot in common, but one commonality they do have is that they both believe that absolutely anyone can do absolutely anything if they work hard enough at it. To put it more simply, “It is not a question of if something is possible, but /how/ something is possible”

- Erudite is the culture full of people making memes about their deteriorating mental health. The biggest culture shock for Caleb had nothing to do with the work, or the talking, or the constant questions but the Erudite-born talking about how much they want to die at every inconvenience no matter how slight

- Tori is actually short for Astoria, meaning ‘hawk’

#divergent #theories headcanons and meta

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lonelydiggin · 3 years ago

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Life is unfair.

It’s the hardest lesson I had to learn. Surprisingly, it didn’t take a lot for me to get it. But it took a lot from me.

It took my youth. It took my curiosity. It took my contentment. It took my optimism.

It’s inevitable. Everyone will learn it one way or another. Early in life, or on their deathbed.

Life is unfair. The thing about this lesson is; it keeps repeating itself. Over, and over, and over again.

It beats you down and slaps you hard. And just as you start to complain, you remember, life is not fair. And it’ll never be.

Every-time you think you’ve learned, life tests you in some way. It makes you question why life is the way it is. Why isn’t it fair? There’s no answer. No answer to such stupid questions. It just how it is. And how it always will be. We don’t live in a utopia. This is planet earth, and only one rule applies, You will suffer. And whether you use that suffering to achieve greatness or not is none of life’s business. All life cares about is make you cry. Make you question yourself. Make you regret. Make you wish you were dead.

I hate the overused mantra about using pain and suffering and torture to become a divine creature. It’s bullshit. Don’t get me wrong, you absolutely can and should use your pain to become great. But, there is such thing as too much. Too much pain. Too much suffering. And, I don’t have to go through hell to become a good person. I don’t have to go through all this to have the right to live…

Not everything goes the way you want. Life won’t pat you on the back. Life won’t kindly show you the right way. Life won’t congratulate you for being a good person.

However, what life does is that it’ll chew you and cut you to pieces. Life gives no warnings. Life will backstab you when you least expect it. Life will make you say “why me?”

…why me? Why do that to me? Why make me learn that way? Why do you have to be so cruel and sadistic? Why make me weak? Why push me down? Why put me in this place? Why suck the life and joy out of me?

Why make me hate my life? Why won’t anyone understand? Why did they turn out this way? Why am i this way? Why didn’t i have a normal childhood? Why does everyone leave? Why do i always get back to square one? Why do I relapse again? Why do they relapse? Why won’t everything be okay?

Why won’t everything be okay?

why?… why?

Because, life is unfair.

Kill yourself or get over it.

And the sooner you learn that, the sooner you start living life.

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lahallucinations · 7 years ago

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hot and cold

A.N: the tater/aunt judy fic nobody asked for. except maybe @garden-of-succulents

based on this ask: x

“Come on, Mama you have to know of something that’ll help.” Bitty was well near whining now.“Darling you know as much as I call my recipes magic, they can’t magically heal a broken leg. Can’t even heal a broken heart.” “But Ma, he’s been here two weeks already and I know he’s in pain but I want some space. He’s hanging all over Jack like those puck bunnies do.”“Bitty, you should trust Jack and darling, oh, I can’t believe I’m saying this because Judy is usually about as helpful as a horse in a hospital but Judy might have a recipe for recovery.”Bitty almost gasped. This was never a thing that he expected out of his mother’s mouth. The rivalry between Judy and Suzanne had existed for as far back as Bitty could remember but he did love his aunt. When he was a kid, his aunt would watch musicals with him on a crappy old VCR while his mom was usually too busy for that. She bought him DVD’s of shows that had become part of the way he saw the world.He wondered if his mom ever blamed her for Bitty turning out gay. She’d never say that, the Bittles weren’t like that but there were subtle looks and innocent comments that said more.Bitty rung Judy after that and caught her up on the situation.She laughed. “Doll, do you think sugar can cure medical problems?”

“If not cure, it can make them heal faster. Aunt Judy, you and I both know that food is powerful and I really want my boyfriend to myself.”

“Huh, well, there is an apricot jam my grandmother used to make. Let me find the recipe, but I’m telling you now, I’m not sure this’ll work.”“Anything is better than that lug of an man all over Jack without letting me have a minute alone.”“I mean, honey, it’s not a bad problem to have. I certainly wouldn’t complain if I had a hunk of an NHL star on my couch.”“So it didn’t work with Daniel?”“Handling a real woman ain’t for everyone Bits.” Bitty hummed in response. They then said goodbye and he hung up. Apricot. He sure hoped the recipe worked.It was a few days later when Bitty brought the jam to Tater who was lying on the couch. “Here try it with some shortbread cookies I whipped up.”Tater ate almost an entire plate.“I’ve gotta say B. You’ve outdone yourself. This is delicious.”Bitty smiled. He might be annoyed at Tater but he was still his friend. “Hey get some sleep okay.”“And it doesn’t hurt?” Jack asked.“Nope. I don’t know what happened.”“What’s going on?” Bitty said.“I don’t know what miracle happened but Tater can walk, eh?”“What?”“Yeah. Watch,” Tater said as he moved his leg around.“Ohmygoditworked.”“What?”“I asked my aunt if she knew of any recipes to help you heal faster cause you know I couldn’t see you in pain,” Bitty was lying through his teeth but white lies made the world go around, “She gave me the recipe for that jam you had yesterday. I didn’t think it would actually work.” “I have to thank her, oh my god. I kept dreaming my hockey career was over. Can you give me her number, I want to thank her.”“Uh... I’m sure it’s fine. I’m just glad you’re back on your feet.”“B. My mother would kill me if I didn’t properly thank her. What does she like? Should I buy her something? But that’s not personal. Should I bring her some flowers? What does she like?”“Tater! She lives in Georgia. I’ll just pass on your thanks.”“I don’t want to be rude, I think I should visit. This is a big deal for me B.”“I mean it is the off-season and we could go with you?” Jack asked.“No, it’s fine. You two are busy, I’ll go myself.”Bitty wasn’t sure what was going on then but Tater was packing, booking plane tickets and that afternoon he took an Uber to the airport. Bitty had called his mother to tell her but he still was unsure about telling Judy, Tater had wanted to surprise her but he still thought it was better if she knew.He ended up doing and after an excited chat with Aunt Judy, Bitty went and collapsed into Jack’s arms. .....

истощениеExhaustion. That’s all Tater’s body had felt like for the past week. The pain seemed to rest deep in each bone of his body. He had almost yelled at the doctor, if only one was broken why did he feel like he had been run over everywhere, multiple times.The doctor had some bullshit about his body adapting that Tater half listened to but currently he felt invigorated.His grandmother used to make him Solyanka, to warm him up during the winter and she always said that warm food made with love, could fix everything. Judy had proven that to be true. A few hours later standing at her doorstep, he wondered whether he should be nervous. Most people would be, but Tater was always ready for anything. He knocked.A woman who had the same light hair as Bitty opened the door. She looked warm and Tater noticed the way her brown eyes twinkled.“Hello, I’m Alexi. Bitty’s friend. This is going to sound crazy but-”“Oh, I know who you are. I have to say Bitty getting me into hockey was amazing. You’re a wonderful player to watch, Mr. Mashkov.” “You knew I was coming?”“Yeah, Bitty didn’t want me to be caught off-guard.” Tater entered the house which smelled like sugar with a hint of lemon. “Oh no please call me Alexi, I came here to thank you, honestly I owe you a lot.” “Darling you owe me nothing, have a cup of tea with me if you really want to thank me.”“I have a gift for you, Keemun tea, it reminds me of home. Though I’ve seen the way Bitty eats, you might need a kilo of sugar to get it down.” Tater grinned at Judy. “Yes, that boy does have a sweet tooth. Let me get you some jam to go with that.” “I thought that was a Russian thing.” “Well, the Russians do know how to appreciate the finer things in life. You want some sponge cake with your tea? Or a biscuit?”“I’m okay with just the tea.”Ten minutes later, tea hot and piping and biscuits waiting to be devoured, Judy said, “So Alexi, tell me is it true you had to run away to play hockey?”“I don’t want to bore you with that.”“I doubt that is a boring story Mr. Mashkov and I promise I will interrupt you if I start falling asleep. Now go.” And so Tater did. He told her stories of his childhood, playing hockey with his dad and uncle and how much that shaped him. She surprised him then and asked, “Is he who put the drive in you?”“What?” Tater didn’t really understand what she meant.“Darling every time a parent discovers that their kid has talent, they turn into goddamn Simon Cowell, trying to make their kid into a star. My parents thought my sister was pretty and boy did they have a field day with that one. They put her in pageants, competitions you name it.”The realization dawns over Alexi. “Bitty’s mom was a beauty queen?”“Oh yes, she was Miss Georgia too. But that’s what I mean by drive, did your father do that for you?”“No. My father he liked rules. Stable. You know. My mother had dreams for me, she was a singer. She taught me how to dream big to take things, because nothing in life will ever be handed to you.”Alexi felt strange, sharing so much. He had only said two things but it felt more open than he had been to anyone in a long time. Sometimes he felt himself become the hockey robot. Giving the same short responses to journalists, fans and recently even friends. Judy poured him another cup. And they talked, their lives were as far apart as they could be. From the cold that could settle in so deep, you wondered whether blood was even able to run through veins anymore, to the heat that cooked you as if you were a rare steak on a barbecue. Their conversation hit deep points but also had its levity. Sometime during their third hour, Alexi brought up learning English through daytime TV.They spent the next hour watching Dr. Phil and then another Judge Judy.Towards the end of the afternoon Tater gets ready to say goodbye and promises to visit soon.“Oh, but you don’t have to spend time with an old lady like me out of obligation, go and live your life. I’m sure you have more exciting things to do.”“I like spending time with you. You’re a genuine person in a world where there aren’t many.”“You too sugar, you too.”“So it’s settled, I’ll be right here tomorrow?”“Actually tomorrow is the farmer’s market. Do you want to experience it? Because it is an experience.” Judy smiled through the sentence.“It’s a date.” Tater said as he left and Judy smiled wider than she had in many years.A part of her felt like a giggling schoolgirl again as she called her sister, partly to tell her that Bitty had wonderful friends and partly to squeal about the NHL star who she had plans with. She felt a rush of excitement, Alexi was a star, but he was also an anchor in way most people could never be. She wasn’t sure whether the had a future but she was eager to find out.

#what do i tag this as #alexi mashkov #aunt judy #omgcp #sorry or your welcome depending on how you feel about this

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andyteacupcultist · 3 years ago

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This is both a pretty neat look into something oft overlooked (or brushed off, including partially be me) but also kind of funny? Because everyone who ever met a non-American on a cooking (or science) video will know that “This isn’t practical to use in the real world for so many reasons” (Along with “Please give us the fucking measurements I do NOT want to run to twenty websites to find out what a cup of chopped whatever weights!”) is a common complaint leveled at the US customary system.

If you grew up with a measurement system it’ll intuitively make sense unless you have specific difficulties with it because, that’s just kinda how you learn the world works? Arguably base 10 is the easiest system to figure out, but beyond that, clocks seem intuitive when they’re actually kinda bullshit because we Know how they work and have used them our entire lives.

If you encounter a measurement used organically enough, especially in childhood, it’s generally something you’ll learn to understand and use intuitively even if it seems like it really shouldn’t be (looking at you, US customary units).

FYI, fever is actually extremely easy to figure out/remember even without being raised with an awareness of these numbers in the metric system, start worrying at 40 and if it hits 41 you panic. 37 and slight variation is generally taken as the rule-of-thumb for “not fever”.

And that’s the difference between “That’s what the internet says” and “this is how it’s actually used”...maybe another interesting thing to explore? How people treat translations of systems vs. how those that use it all the time interact with it and the possible confusion/added difficulty arising from that?

Or potentially certain interpretations of measurement systems adding to that perception. I’ve seen at least one person literally complain about making accessible recipes because “How is anyone gonna get 337 grams of beef?? Or 454 grams? Oh the horror I would rather people do the work themselves and also look like an idiot!” but I’m not sure how widespread that issue is. (Most metric recipe only go in steps of ten or twenty at their most precise and the vast majority of recipes developed in metric will usually use things like 375 or completely round to 100s).

Worldbuilding: Taking Measures

What measurements does your fantastic world use, and why?

Yes, this applies to modern urban fantasies and near-future SF as well. We have the English and metric systems floating around in most of the English-speaking world, plus older measurements

still lingering in various places, and what you use reflects your characters, their heritage, and their environment. Someone who grew up with a hands-on cook has a different meaning for “a glug” than someone who’s only heard water go down the drain. In the U.S. in particular most of everyday life relies on the English system, and if you hear someone talking in metrics they’re usually either a foreigner or measuring something for a scientific paper.

(And yes, cops have heard the whole, “I thought the speedometer measured in KPH!” story before. They didn’t believe it the first time they caught someone speeding, they won’t believe it this time either.)

What measurements you use gives your readers subtle (or not-so-subtle) clues as to where and when they are. Metric as a general measurement system didn’t even exist before the French Revolution, and it has certain Problems that make it obvious it was put together by people with not quite enough real-world experience. Ask anyone trying to measure the temperature of someone with a dangerous fever. 100 F and 102 F, very different. 37.8 to 38.8 C, not so much.

Now the tricky part: does your world have its own, invented measurements? If so, what are they based on? And how do you get across to your reader what they actually mean?

To use an example from Mercedes Lackey’s Exile’s Honor, we know that Karse measures time in “marks”, while Valdemar does in “candlemarks”. And we can guess those are... about an hour long. Just as a thumb-length is about an inch. (Which, IRL, is where some definitions of an inch came from - the length of the first joint of the thumb.) But when it comes to Karse, we don’t know marks of what. Falling sand? Water-clocks? Something else?

That could be important, in the world of the book. R.A. Salvatore’s Menzoberranzan measured a day by a mage smiting a stalagmite, Narbondel, with a fireball, so everyone with infravision could see the heat climb and fall. Their equivalent of midnight was “the black death of Narbondel”. Which gives both evocative imagery and the flavor of the drow society, with its emphasis on magic, murder, and cruelty. Salvatore doesn’t get into the whole measurement system of the society, but he does give us a marker that shows drow culture has measurements. That may be all you need. If not - you might look up archaic measurements like an ell, a peck, a firkin, or a chain, and see how they’re defined in today’s modern terms. That might give you some ideas.

And now I’m wondering if minotaurs measure in oxgangs....

#worldbuilding #Writing tips

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exxar1 · 5 years ago

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Episode 3: “The Unexamined Life” Part 2

10/25/2020

This blog entry was supposed to be a direct continuation of the last one. I was going to continue the therapy session but, instead of Patrick Stewart and Chris Evans, it would be God sitting in the armchair across from the couch. He would be played by Morgan Freeman, of course, but not because he did actually play the role of God in “Bruce Almighty”. I’ve always thought of Morgan Freeman as that wise, curmudgeonly old grandfather who’s always nearby when you need a peppermint or some necessary advice. He seems genuinely loving, patient and kind, but he won’t put up with any of your bullshit either. He’ll gladly listen to all your complaining and ranting, nodding every once in awhile and giving an affirmative “uh-huh”, then tell you exactly what he thinks, whether you like it or not, and then send you on your way with a fresh cup of coffee and a maple bar.

But, after some consideration, I decided to nix the whole therapy scene, and just get to the point. There is such a thing in the writer’s room as running a metaphor – or an idea – into the ground, and this seemed like a perfect example of that. In the last couple weeks since I wrote Part 1, I’ve been thinking about what I wrote, and I realized I needed to start this episode by clarifying a couple things.

1. My relationship with my parents and my brothers is very good. In fact, we as a family are very close, and that’s something I have treasured for many years. Yes, we have our issues and our share of dysfunction, just like any other family. But I also feel that our family is a bit different from most other adult families in that we all genuinely love one another and we sincerely look forward to those times when we are all together in person. I have never understood why so many of my friends, colleagues, coworkers and/or acquaintances over the years have dreaded the holidays. They have complained to me on various occasions that they really aren’t looking forward to Thanksgiving or Christmas because they have to spend time with their parents or siblings whom they don’t get along with.

I have never experienced this. Thanksgiving and Christmas are my favorite times of the year. I look forward to going home to spend time with my parents, my brothers, their wives, and all my nieces and nephews. We have a wonderful time, and yes, there have been one or two years where some of us had some arguments and/or minor disagreements over this or that. But we never allowed those conflicts to interfere with our time together, and we always came back from those times stronger as a family and celebrating our love for God and for one another.

My parents, in particular, have always set an example for us boys of what God’s love should be towards not only one another but the world as well. They taught us what it meant to be a good citizen in the world, and how to properly love and respect those that we meet in our travels through this life. They taught us right from wrong, and I know that I wouldn’t be the person I am today without having grown up in a loving, Christian home. Yes, my childhood was filled with a lot of conflict – mainly between me and my brothers. I also fought with my parents as a teenager over the typical adolescent stuff – music, TV, church, rules, curfews, etc. etc. All of this is normal for any family and also a standard part of growing up. What made it unique for me was struggling with my homosexuality as a teenager and not being able to talk about that with anyone in my family, my friends or my church. In retrospect, I think that if I’d had someone I could have gone to and opened up with about my struggle, I wouldn’t have had such a difficult adolescence.

The main reason I feel a need to clarify this right now is because I don’t want you, the reader, to think that I still resent my parents – or my father in particular – for what was said or done regarding this issue when I was a kid. That line from my father about homosexuals was used to illustrate a point, but I don’t think he feels that strongly about it today. I will admit that he and I have never directly discussed this, but I know that both my parents have always loved and accepted me, no matter what. They still do. In fact, the two of them could teach a thing or two to many other parents of gays and lesbians of my generation about what it means to truly accept your child even though you believe that their sexual preference and/or lifestyle choice is not in line with God’s will.

The same goes for my brothers. I love them more than life itself, and I would gladly give my own life for theirs without a second thought, if necessary. One of my very few, genuine regrets in my life thus far is how terribly and cruelly I treated my brothers when I was a teenager. I should have been a friend and a mentor to them, especially Chad and Caleb, but I wasn’t. I constantly told them how I wished I had been an only child, and I was always mocking and making fun of all three of them every chance I got. My teen years, especially, were rather harsh for all four of us, as I lashed out at my brothers with all my own hurt and pain at not fitting in at school and not being able to share with anyone my struggle over my own sexuality.

But, thank God, in the years following high school, as all of us became adults and made our own ways in the world, the loving home that our parents had created for us seeped into our hearts and our souls, taking root there in ways none of us ever realized. The four of us eventually reconnected as adults, little bits here and there over time, until we came back together as close as any brothers could ever be. I can’t even tell you exactly how or where this transformation took place. It was just many little things over time – text messages, emails, phone calls, spending time together during the holidays, etc. There was also other major life events such as weddings, having kids, getting divorced and remarried, graduating college, and just life in general. All of these things have a way of reminding one how important a family is and, especially, not to take it for granted. I have met many different people in my time in this world – my short time in the Army, from college, and from my many different jobs – and it never ceases to amaze or humble me when I have learned that many of those people did not have it as good as I did when I was a kid. Many of them hate their parents and haven’t spoken to them in years. Same for their siblings. Some have been through divorce and never see their own kids, while others grew up as the only child and they’ve told me how lonely that is.

So, to sum up this point, I treasure my family as the greatest gift God has given me, and I don’t want them – or you – to come away from this blog thinking otherwise. :-)

2. In that same vein, I also became close friends with most of those classmates who did tease and make fun of me when were in elementary school. And while they weren’t so cruel and mean in junior high and high school, I didn’t make it easy for them to like me when I was a teenager. I did cause a lot of my own troubles because of my social awkwardness and my painful attempts to fit in with the “cool kids”. As I stated in the last episode, I did eventually realize that I needed to stop trying so hard and just do my own thing. Once that happened, somewhere in my sophomore year, if I recall correctly, everything else kind of just fell into place, and those other nine people in my graduating class are still friends with me today. (We just had our 20 year reunion, in fact, three years ago.)

And now, to the main point of this week’s episode: I’ve been thinking about why I’ve been feeling so lonely now, at this point in my adult life, and how that relates to what I experienced in my adolescence. One of the realizations I came to three weeks ago was that because of all the teasing, the bullying, and the social anxiety that I experienced as a young kid and, later, as an adolescent, I built a wall about myself to protect me from the pain and anger at not fitting in. And again, that conclusion seems rather obvious now, but it hadn’t been obvious to me all these years. Or maybe I had been aware of it on a subconscious level all this time, but only now did I decide to finally address it directly.

Whatever the case, that realization also led to another one: I have had no interest in a romantic relationship with anyone because it means I would have to let someone inside the wall. There’s probably other reasons for why I’ve never been interested in getting a boyfriend, but that’s probably the main one. And when I was young, I was fine with this. As I said before, that decision in high school to stop trying so hard to fit in and just do my own thing has served me quite well all these years. And I believe that I have been truly happy being on my own. I have never felt like I needed another person to complete me. I have always felt whole and complete in and of myself.

But here’s the funny thing about getting older, and this is a realization that I came to just in the last few days. For the last couple months or so, I have been driving myself crazy trying to figure out why not being in a relationship is suddenly bothering me so much. And then, in the last couple days, it finally hit me: I am not the same man now that I was when I made that decision 20 years ago.

Now, I know what you’re thinking: well, duh. 20 years has passed. Of course you’re not the same person you were back then.

Yes, I hear you, but now let me explain. One feature of aging that no one has ever told me about is that you start questioning and re-thinking a lot of desires, passions, beliefs and/or commitments that you had, until now, pretty much taken for granted. My desire to live life as a professionally single person is a perfect example of this. When I was in college, I had more fun just playing the field and not making a commitment to any one person. That’s typical for every young person, no matter your sexual preference. But, at some point in our mid to late twenties, most of us end up meeting that one guy or girl who causes us to rethink our position on the whole “professionally single” issue. We fall madly in love, in other words, and we then realize we don’t want to spend the rest of our lives alone.

That never happened for me. I have never, in my whole life, even up to the present, ever met that one guy who has completely turned my world upside down. The subject of almost every rock anthem and pop diva love song has never happened to me. I have no clue what falling in love actually feels like. I have heard it discussed and described many times by friends and family. I have sung along to many great love songs and anthems by every major recording artist since Elvis Presley. I have read and discussed the love poetry and sonnets of the many greats in classical western literature in many of my English courses throughout my academic career. I have watched several of the greats of the romantic comedy category at Blockbuster over the years, and while most of them are terrible, there are a few that I still have in my own DVD library that I have occasionally pulled out to reminisce with.

But I have never, ever in my whole life ever been “twitterpated” as goes the classic line from Bambi. And that’s never been a problem for me. I never cared. In fact, I considered it a strength. I have never had to waste money on flowers, candy, jewelry, romantic weekend getaways, or any of the other crap that boyfriends and girlfriends spend on each other just for the chance at maybe getting laid. If I ever got horny enough, all I’ve needed to do is text one of the few regulars in my phone book. Sex without any of the trappings of a relationship has always been the best kind of sex in my book. Nor have I had to deal with any of the drama that comes with a relationship. All that fighting, then compromising, then forgiveness, and then repeating that process over and over has never been my cup of tea. In fact, I’ve never understood why a relationship was worth all that trouble in the first place.

But, once again, we’re back at the present, and I’m now 42 years old. And, for some reason, I’m looking around at all the people in my life – and on social media – that are happily married and/or in a relationship, and, all of sudden, that just drives me fucking crazy. And maybe, on a subconscious level, this is why I created a profile on Tinder back in June. As you’ll recall from episode 2, “Alfred” (not his real name) and I hit it off pretty well, and we had a pretty good first date, to boot. And things seemed to go pretty well up until a month ago when he suddenly ghosted me. Or, maybe, I ghosted him first. In any case, it appears to have been mutual, and now I’m even more annoyed than before at being single.

Which brings me to that big revelation I alluded to earlier about aging. I just recently realized how much we change throughout our adult lives as we get older. Those passions and desires and things that interest us and consume our time when we’re in our twenties are not necessarily the same passions, desires, and things that we care about in our forties, or our fifties, or our sixties. We as people are not just flesh and blood. We are conscious, thinking, emotional, intellectual human beings, and the parts of us that make us who we are are those passions, desires, interests, and things that we care about. It’s what makes you you.

Some of those qualities can be defined as hobbies or interests, the things that we do in our spare time or what we’re passionate about in life. The fact that I have always been a science fiction fan, for example, or my writing. Other qualities can be emotional, or intellectual, or parts of us that aren’t necessarily physical. The fact that I’m gay, for example; or that I love to read, or that I’m an introvert, or that I once used to be an Atheist.

In other words, those things that make up who we are as an individual human being, that define us to the world and to other people around us, are not always constant or unchanging. And that’s what I had never realized until now. I have always been happy living my life on my own, by my own terms, and I found peace in being alone. I have never felt the need to have that “special someone” in my life, but now, for reasons I cannot explain, I’m no longer content with that. I think this is why so many people at this point in their mid-lives have a crisis. They buy a new car or get divorced or change careers. Perhaps my loneliness is nothing more than a mid-life crisis?

Maybe. I think that’s oversimplifying it a bit, but it does make a kind of sense. I’ve been questioning everything else in my life – and the world around me – at this point, why not this?

And maybe this does have something to do with my recent religious conversion. Does God no longer want me to be single? Does he have someone in mind to be my companion? I don’t know. I’m still exploring my new relationship with God, so I can’t really say for sure at this point.

What I will say for sure is this: I am NOT going to find that special someone online. I am done with all the dating apps and websites. They’re a waste of time. For now, I have made some peace with being single. It doesn’t bother me as much as it did a few weeks ago. So I’m not in a hurry to meet that “special guy”. If it does happen, though, we’ll end up meeting in real life, face to face. Which means that my only opportunity for this is at work, because I have no social life.

That’s it for now, folks. Once again, I wrote far more than I planned, but this feels good. And if you’ve read all of this, and if it’s helped you in some way, then I’m glad.

Until next time…

#god #gay #life #christian #love

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shortskirtsandsarcasm · 5 years ago

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Gilmore Girls: Rory is Giving Us All a Bad Name

My childhood TV consumption came entirely from the channel TV Land, which almost exclusively broadcast reruns of American sitcoms from the 1950s-70s (think I Love Lucy, I Dream of Jeannie, Leave it to Beaver, The Andy Griffith Show, Three’s Company, and Happy Days), so Gilmore Girls was not on my radar; in fact, I was barely aware of it. I am sure that if I made any effort to watch it in real-time, my mother would have told me to “turn off that trash,” as she had when I wanted to watch anything on the Disney Channel or Downton Abbey. GG has been revisited in the past years as more people have become aware of all of its problems, and as the Year in the Life reboot has come out recently. Even though many of the re-visitations of GG have been to criticize it, it’s clear that this was an important and beloved show that people see as a seminal aspect of their childhood and adolescence. Reading around GG made me feel like I’d missed a defining experience, so I decided to watch all seven seasons and the reboot, even though I knew that I would hate it. And I really did. I started watching season 1 on Thanksgiving in 2016 and I finally finished the original series and the reboot not long ago, in June 2020. I had to take breaks from Rory and all her bullshit.

Superficially, I share so much with Rory: I am an only child; I love to read; I take books with me everywhere; and I have brown “straight, shiny Harvard hair,” as Carol from season 3, episode 3, “Application Anxiety,” describes it. Adults told me I was “mature” and “precocious” and would “go on to do great things,” without much more evidence than that I was a smart kid. I would like to think that I did not become an insufferable young adult as Rory did, but I write judgmental nonsense on the internet, so maybe I did.

I remember my mom making me read the article “The ‘Trophy Kids’ Go To Work” when I was in junior high that clearly framed millennials wanting financial security and job stability as a bad thing and invoked a moral panic about participation certificates and teachers not using red pens anymore. I thought the article was unfair to young people trying to find financial stability directly after the 2008 financial crisis then and I still do, but Rory is giving us all a bad name. She acts entitled to absolutely everything: Ivy League education, high-profile jobs, men, etc. She assumes that going to private school and getting good grades will be all that is required of her to get into Harvard, and she has no backup plan if Harvard rejects her. She just assumes Harvard can’t reject her. The only reason she even applies to Yale is to make her Yale alumni grandparents happy. But first, she has a meltdown because her grandfather was kind enough to organize an interview at Yale for her. The bastard.

As she enters her final semester of university, she seemingly only applies for three jobs. The one she really wants is a six-week New York Times unpaid internship that is in incredibly high demand. Again, Rory just assumes she will get the internship because she’s special and turns down a real job with a salary in Providence. After she finds she has been rejected by the NYT, she calls back about the Providence job, only to find the position has gone to someone else. She does not learn from this and continues to feel entitled to jobs just because in the revival. Rory has a few job possibilities in the revival, but one by one they fall apart, so she decides to go in for an interview with the website SandeeSays for a job she considers beneath her (but why? Because it’s online?). She is absolutely unprepared for an actual interview because she assumes Sandee will automatically hire her. When Sandee is disappointed that she is unprepared and does not hire her, Rory yells and insults her and her publication.

Whenever her narrow trajectory directly to success is challenged, she goes into a complete meltdown. When Paris says she has been doing community service since fourth grade to look good on college applications, Rory has a meltdown. When Mitchum Huntzberger, who everyone agrees is a giant asshole, tells her she’ll never become a real journalist, Rory has a meltdown. When she doesn’t get the job with SandeeSays because she is unprepared and unprofessional, Rory has a meltdown. When she finds out Logan slept with other women while they were separated but not broken up, Rory has a meltdown. I’m not defending Logan here — it was definitely a shady thing to do — but Rory is upset about her access to Logan being infringed upon and her solution is to bang Jess, to whom she is also entitled.

If you date Rory Gilmore, you belong to her forever.

It’s easy to see how Rory became so entitled in the first place. Stars Hollow is a quaint but bustling town, home to what might be described as a “colorful cast of characters,” who literally all dote on Rory and constantly tell her she is special. Stars Hollow is also home to its very own high school, but clearly none of them are special. Rory’s entire community bolsters this idea in her that she’s struggled against some sort of monumental obstacles, which is just not true. Lorelai is the only one in this family who has achieved anything through hard work alone, and that is because she absconded from the family home as a teenager with a baby Rory.

Rory’s “specialness” is something we are often told but seldom shown. For example, when Rory’s first boyfriend, working-class Dean, comes to dinner at Rory’s affluent grandparents’ house (s2e1), Richard and Emily grill him on why he thinks he’s good enough for their special granddaughter. Richard points out that Rory will be going to an Ivy League university, and that Dean has dimmer prospects, and will, therefore, hold her back. Richard implies that Rory will “go on to do great things,” simply because she is smart and not because she is incredibly privileged. It is obvious that Dean has “dimmer” prospects because he has to work alongside going to high school and has other responsibilities in Stars Hollow which preclude him from spending $$$ on an Ivy education and extensive travel. Rory does stand up for him and point out that being working-class does not make Dean less than, but she hangs on to the idea that she is more than because she is smart and does not acknowledge that her private school tuition, Ivy tuition, and travel is only within her reach because of her family’s money and connections. In her mind, she maintains that she is a lower-middle-class or working-class person who has achieved her “special” status through hard work, but she has never been the one to undertake this hard work. Through the entire rest of the series, she will never come around to seeing this, and interestingly the only time she gets close is when Logan calls her out on her snobbery. Logan, of all people.

This brings me to my hottest hot take on Gilmore Girls: Logan is Rory’s best boyfriend. Both Dean and Jess were possessive and emotionally abusive, so the bar is very low. Rory clearly has terrible taste in men, but of the three dickwads in Rory’s life, he is somehow the best. Logan is not possessive like the other two and seems to be the only man in the entire series that’s not unreasonably jealous. For example, when Rory develops that crush on the TA (even though he’s ugly let’s be real) he recognizes it for the silly passing crush that it is. Dean and Jess would have both lost their minds.

The possessive and jealous descriptors can also be attributed to Lorelai’s boyfriends, specifically Luke. Luke is so sensitive over Lorelai’s friendship with Christopher (pre the whole impulsive decision to get back together and get married in Paris mess), even though Christopher will always be a part of Lorelai’s life because he is Rory’s dad. At this point, Luke has found out about his secret daughter, April, and is fighting so hard to be a permanent part of her life and does not seem to appreciate the parallel. April and Rory are the subjects of Luke’s possessiveness. He feels entitled to be a parent to Rory, even before his relationship with Lorelai, but then refuses to let Lorelai get to know April even though they are engaged and kept her existence a secret for months. Again, he cannot see the double standard there. After they break up and Lorelai gets back with Christopher, Luke then has the audacity to ask Lorelai to write him a character reference so he can win custody of April. Luke also asks for parenting advice from Lorelai on how to deal with both Jess and April, but when he doesn’t like her response, he either says outright or insinuates that Lorelai is not qualified to weigh in, even though Lorelai is a parent Luke clearly loves and admires Rory, the product of her parenting.

On the subject of Lorelai’s parenting, I have some questions. When she ran away from home at seventeen, was she legally emancipated? I don’t think any court would rule in her favor if she had complained that her parents were rich east coast snobs. Richard and Emily are certainly overbearing and snobby, but is that enough reason to literally run away? As a result, Lorelai has become stuck in the mentality of her 17-year-old self and believes people are “against” her personally when they just have different opinions on mundane things. In season seven when her parents want to throw a party celebrating her marriage to Christopher, shoots down literally all of the party planner’s ideas because she feels threatened that her parents want to celebrate her marriage. She’s really out here at thirty-eight being moody and rude to the party planner like she’s a PMS-ing teenager. Richard and Emily did not get to see their only child actually get married — is it so much to ask that Lorelei goes along with their party plan?

This kind of thinking cultivates an “us against the world” feeling between her and Rory which also contributes to Rory’s feelings of entitlement — Rory’s high school valedictorian speech at her graduation was almost entirely about her relationship with her mom. It is absolutely no surprise that Rory has no empathy for anyone else and only thinks of herself and what she wants in the moment. This sometimes even backfires on Lorelai, such as when she graduated from her business degree. Rory chose that exact day to skip school to visit Jess in New York, miss her graduation ceremony, and leave her graduation present on the bus. Lorelai never got her Belinda Carlisle record, and I’m still mad about it.

I have many more thoughts about Gilmore Girls, like how they did Lane so dirty, and how unnecessarily rude Rory was to the Thirty-something Gang, but that would turn into a body of work rivaling my actual PhD thesis I am procrastinating on, so I will stop for now. Now that I can put GG behind me for good, I can finally “go on to do great things,” whatever that means.

#gilmore girls #gilmore girls revival #tv #essay #millennials #long read

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deusaeverythingcomestoanend · 5 years ago

Text

D. Series: The Pirate

“Life is a game of Bullshit. We are each dealt a hand, and we worry about the one we don’t have.” Aroldo plays a card game with Cronus. He wants him to not only be book smart but also street smart. In life it is important that you are able to read people and not just books.

Chapter 13

Am I lying?

Can you distinguish my lies,

Before you meet your demise,

You foolish little lamb,

Falling easily for a scam.

Cronus fell face first out of his bed. Luckily he had fallen so many times prior that now he knew to leave a pile of bed sheets and clothing to cushion his fall. Even though he was well prepared for such an event, did not mean it hurt him any less. He pet his nose to check for blood. Finding none he proceeded to rub it. A few minutes later he stretched out and got up from the floor.

“Ahhh, wha time ish it?” yawned Cronus as scratching his belly as he walked over to his closet. He rubbed his eyes and looked out his window. He sighed with relief. It was still dark outside. He wanted to crawl back into bed but his instincts told him that it was already day time.

“Oh, no... Mom is going to kill me,” trembled Cronus sweating nervously, “Mom, had told me to give her all my dirty laundry. Now, I have got nothing clean to wear.”

Cronus got dressed in a hurry. He then rushed over to scoop up the dirty pile of clothes he had fallen on top of earlier. He used the large bed sheet to help him carry it down the stairs. The pile was larger than him and it almost looked as if it had grown a pair of legs on it's own.

Cronus opened his bedroom door and closed it behind him. It was not an easy task to say the least. He wobbled down the stairs making sure not to drop any of his laundry. Cronus already had a feeling that Godiva would be disappointed with him. He did not wish to upset her any further.

“Good Mor- Cronus, is that all of your clothes?!” shrieked Godiva spotting her son's legs behind the large pile.

“No,” argued Cronus stopping dead in his tracks.

“Oh, really? Tell me how many sets of clean clothes do you have?” glared Godiva placing her hands on her hips.

“Along with the one I am wearing?” gulped Cronus trying to bury his face into his laundry pile.

“You know exactly what I mean,” growled Godiva hovering over her son.

“One,” admitted Cronus wishing the earth would swallow him whole.

“I told you to bring me your dirty clothes a few days ago,” sighed taking the pile from her son, “Hand it over. I will take care of it.”

“I am sorry, Mother,” apologized Cronus when he released his grip on his laundry.

“Don't be sorry... Be better,” scolded Godiva walking away with the laundry.

“Good, I see you are awake,” called Aroldo rocking enthusiastically.

“Would you please act your age,” groaned Clement sitting right next to him.

“Alright listen up. Regardless of what other adults might say age does not equal maturity. You will meet younger individuals who are more mature than you are. While at other times you will meet the most immature sets of adults. Your age does not mean anything,” commented Aroldo as he continued to rock on his rocking chair, “Damn, I sure wish this was a swivel chair.”

“You are an instructor! For crying out loud!” reminded Clement crossing his arms, “Shouldn't teachers carry themselves to a certain caliber at all times.”

“That is why first impressions always count. Let's say that you were on your way to greet someone. This is your first encounter and on the way to said location a cart splashes a mixture of mud and fecal matter at you. Now regardless of what you do to this person you will always be Poop man,” contoured Aroldo as he continued to mess with the rocking chair.

“It does not mean you should continue to mess with one of my chairs,” groaned Clement glaring over at Aroldo. Cronus walked over to Aroldo's side and started to fidget.

“Is there anything you want to ask me, Cronus,” smiled Aroldo, noticing Cronus' nervous state.

“...Then Bob said that the year was 2051. How is that even possible? It wouldn't be blowing my mind if they had said the year was 1551, but no he said 2051. How can I still be alive and look as young as I do?” questioned Cronus frantically widening his arms.

“I apologize but I cannot answer that question for the time being,” lamented Aroldo avoiding eye contact with either Cronus and Clement.

“Why not? It's my life,” complained Cronus stomping his foot, “I have every right to know.”

“It's true you have every right to know. I cannot argue against that; however, you are still too younger to understand. I will tell you everything and more when the time is right,” compromised Aroldo giving Cronus a weak smile.

“That's not fair!” bellowed Cronus stomping his foot, “What give you the right to decide what I should and should not know?!”

“You are right, Cronus. I have not right in denying you information about your future. After all it's your life and not mine,” acknowledged Aroldo crossing his arms, “Nevertheless, having said that it is clear to me that you are not mature enough to get the answers you desire. You are acting like the child you are. I do not feel you have reached the maturity level you require to have me answer such questions for the time being.”

“Aren't you one to talk, Aroldo? Considering that not too long ago you were playing with rocking chair,” berated Clement looking down at Aroldo.

“Have you even told your son how babies are made, Clement?” taunted Aroldo grinning at Clement.

“I- Uh don't think he is old enough,” whispered Clement pulling at his shirt collar.

“Wait, how are babies made?” asked Cronus directing his focus on his father.

“You know what, Cronus, I am sorry for saying this. I am going to have to side with your teacher,” regretted Clement leaning his head on his fist.

“How can you just say that? What makes it alright to be denied my own future? I get these visions for a reason! I have seen how great things can get! It's not my fault you are a coward! I am nothing like you!!” raged Cronus turning a deep shade of red as tears fell down his cheeks.

“Of course, you are nothing like me. If you were I would be deeply disappointed in you, Cronus. I would be forces to watch you make the same mistakes I did when I was your age. Granted I was stripped of my childhood way before I had reached your age,” reprimanded Clement as he glared at Cronus, “When I was your age and denied any sort of information as you are now. It had already been beaten into to me to not press the issue any further. You should thank your lucky stars you are not me. Cause right now you would not be standing after your little temper tantrum.”

“Hey now, don't you think you are being a bit harsh on your son,” argued Aroldo noticing how upset Cronus had gotten.

“I am going to go outside and take care of my chores,” growled Clement standing up and leaving the room.

“Once more, I am sorry I am not allowed to tell you what you want to hear. Instead how about I teach you a how to distinguish truth from deception,” offered Aroldo extracting a deck of cards from his coat.

“I have two issues with that lesson. First thing shouldn't you be teaching me math and science in order for me to understand my visions. So I am able to recreate what I saw. Second problem how exactly are cards going to help me distinguish truth from lies,” stated Cronus walking to the seat his father had abandoned.

“It may sound ludicrous to you, but everything I teach you is of great importance. I do not waste my time in unimportant pass times. Sit down so that I can tell you how to play Bullshit, Cheat or whatever you would like to call it,” commanded Aroldo as he extracted the deck from their box.

Aroldo spent fifteen minutes explaining what each card meant along with their value. Afterwards he spent another half hour explaining the rules of the game to Cronus. It wasn't any easy task. Then he took the deck of cards and shuffled them. He split the pile between himself and Cronus.

At first Cronus believed that he would easily win the game. Then as time went on he noticed that his pile kept on increasing; meanwhile, Aroldo was only left with less than five cards. Cronus was starting to get annoyed he wanted to call his instructor a cheat. Then again whenever he claimed Aroldo was lying it turned out he was actually telling the truth. When Cronus tried to lie about his card, Aroldo seemed to know the truth. Forcing Cronus to not only reveal the card he held, but also take the deck of cards on the pile.

“How are you so good at this game?” complained Cronus frustrated that he had to take the large pile of cards once more.

“To be blunt... experience. I have been playing this type of game longer than you have. Most people you will come across who are far more talented than you it’s because they worked hard. They not only learned the same lessons you did but they also applied the work.

Do not get discouraged if you are not able to beat your opponent right off the bat. Instead take your defeat and learn from it. Also I did say this game is going to teach how to distinguish the truth from deception. You are failing miserably. Aren't you, Cronus?” observed Aroldo looking down at Cronus’ large pile.

“You are not making it easy. You are difficult to read,” complained Cronus glaring down at his own cards, “Why is it so important I know how to tell a lie from the truth?”

“So you are able to both charm and manipulate those around you,” shrugged Aroldo waiting for Cronus' next move, “Life is a game of Bullshit. We are all dealt a hand and we spend the rest of our life worrying about the one we don’t have. If you are able to tell when they are lying then you won't be easily fooled by them. Instead you will be able to lead them into your own trap.

We can stop our game if you'd like. There is no shame in loosing. Now, go get your things. I do believe we should get started on today's lessons. Once we are done we will go outside and take our little game of Bullshit to the next level,” promised Aroldo seeing how disappointed Cronus appeared.

“Fine,” sighed Cronus dropping his cards on the table, “How were you able to tell I was lying?”

“You kept giving yourself away,” stated Aroldo collecting the cards.

“In what way?” questioned Cronus standing up from his seat.

“When you lied you seemed more nervous then when you told the truth. Granted that is to be expected from someone as young as you. You are taught by your parent's to feel ashamed of your lies. It isn't until you are older and wiser when you realize lying can save your life,” explained Aroldo returning the box into his pocket, “I thought I told you to go get your supplies.”

Cronus ran upstairs and came back with all the items Aroldo had gifted him. He laid them down in front and took his seat. Aroldo waited for Cronus to get ready.

“Yesterday I recall you complain about the lessons. Saying they were far beneath you and required more of a challenge. Well, today I am here to deliver such a challenge,” beamed Aroldo taking out four one inch workbooks, “We will start with English and make our way to your other three lessons. Let us begin.”

Cronus took the English workbook. He opened the first page and noticed that it was mostly focused on grammar. When Aroldo had said “make our way to the other three lessons” he meant they would be working through the entire workbook. Before they could even touch the other three workbooks. The English grammar book was about one hundred fifteen pages long and it contained around a total of one thousand twenty eight problems for Cronus to solve. At first the tasks seemed pretty straight forward then he got to a certain page and things started to become difficult. During those pages Aroldo would shine and he would take time to clarify what the workbook wanted from Cronus. By the time Cronus had reached question one thousand twenty seven his wrist was starting to ache.

“Giving up so soon,” taunted Aroldo noticing Cronus’ pain.

'Common, Cronus, don't give just yet,' thought Aroldo forcing himself to smile.

“You would like that wouldn't you,” growled Cronus shaking his wrist. He gritted his teeth as he pressed forwards and completed the grammar book.

“Good you finished the workbook. Here take this test; while, I go over your answers,” stated Aroldo exchanging three sheets of parchment for the workbook, “You did not think I would make you go through an entire workbook. And not have an exam prepared. Did you, Cronus?”

“Uh... N-no?” gulped Cronus as he took the sheets, “Anyways how long did it take me to comple-”

Cronus stopped himself seeing how the world appeared to be frozen in time. He noticed it first when he spotted his mother right outside the window. Godiva's long skirt was blowing in the wind but it looked more as if she was made of stone. Cronus searched for any movement in the world.

“I do hope you know I am only giving you forty-five minutes to finish your exam. Once that time is up... I will be taking back your exam and grading your work. Regardless if you fill out any answer or not,” droned Aroldo keeping his attention on his own work.

“Di... Did you stop time?” wondered Cronus his eyes wide with shock. He stared at Aroldo just trying to understand what he was.

“Of course,” dismissed Aroldo not moving his gaze from his work, “How else am I suppose to teach you all these subjects in one day? I need you to at the very minimum master the basics of all these subjects. Concentrate on your exam. You can worry about my powers at another time. I suggest you skip the ones you do not understand then move back to the ones you skipped.”

Cronus shook his head and started to work on his exam. He looked down at the first question and answered it with ease. He went on like this until he reached the tenth question. Where his brain started to go blank. He skipped that question then the next and the next until he had reached the end of this exam. During this time he would glance back over to Aroldo for help.

“Do not look at me, Cronus. This is an exam. You should have been paying attention during our lesson,” sighed Aroldo already half way through the workbook, “You have twenty minutes left by the way.”

Cronus mopped as he looked back down at his sheets of paper. He tried to calm himself as he went back to question twelve. This time he felt that his only option was to guess. Hoping that he would at least get points for trying.

“Time is up,” informed Aroldo placing the workbook down, “Fork it over.”

“I... I don't have a fork,” mumbled Cronus as he concentrated on the remainder of his exam.

“What are you tal... Cronus, I am talking about the exam,” mentioned Aroldo extending his expecting hand at Cronus, “We have to go over the other subjects.”

The rest of this other lessons were the same as his English one. They would spent what felt like hours going through a workbook followed by an exam. By the time they were done with the last subject, Cronus had become emotionally exhausted. Aroldo collected the exams and got up from his seat.

“I will be back in one hour. Help you father like you did yesterday,” suggested Aroldo as he walked out the door. The world appeared to have gone back to normal. Cronus returned his items back to his room. He walked outside to help his father with his chores.

Clement gave Cronus specific set of tasks. It was mainly lifting heavy objects and transferring them only a few feet away from their original location. Cronus was beginning to wonder if there was even a purpose of moving the items. Since Clement never seemed quite satisfied with their new location. The only chore Cronus felt had any goal was when Clement told him to get water for Godiva. Everything else seemed meaningless.

On multiple occasions Cronus just wanted to shout at his father. Wasn't anything he did good enough. After being told to move the same bucket of grain for the umpteenth time. He screamed out and fell down on the grass. He punched and kicked at the grass underneath him. All the while Clement smiled and shook his head at his son.

“You are such an embarrassment,” mouthed Clement as he rubbed his forehead. Secretly grateful that his son could not hear him.

https://deusaeverythingcomestoanend.tumblr.com/post/615445212031041536/d-series-the-pirate

#orignal story #working on it #first draft #the pirate

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ruffoverthinksthings · 8 years ago

Note

In a more realistic and darker AU, how would the Rotten Four's and Sea Three's personality change from Disney version?

In general:

Violence, cursing, and blood.

Sexual behaviour, vices, and a hedonistic, “damn the consequences” attitude.

Dark, realistic portrayals of the consequences of childhood abuse, anti-social disorder, and how healing is a LONG process.

The VKs will be a lot more prone to using physical violence, much more serious and foul verbal harassment, and have a lot of evidence to the fact, such as ugly scars, very recent wounds, and especially in the case of the Hook Kids, prosthetic limbs.

Harry would have actual need for his hook as his hand is gone, or is explicitly stated to be almost completely crippled to uselessness, Harriet would have a “peg leg” that also houses her sword, and CJ has a lazy glass eye that never really fit right.

Mal references times when she chopped off one of Uma’s human legs, and she teases her about how she had to “hop around for weeks” as it grew back, and months more as she kept dismembering her for fun.

Evie would be much more blatant with her seduction of Chad and probably blow him to have sex in a closet with him the moment he seems to be straying from her grip.

Jay would be propositioning Lonnie for casual sex than just flexing his muscles at her, along with get into bloody, rip off helmets and punch out teeth fights on the Tourney field, especially with his rivals.

Carlos would be mentioned to smoke constantly to “calm my nerves,” and is DELIGHTED at the opportunity to have full strength, non-expired cough syrup and other medicines to experiment with.

Mal would engage in much riskier, dangerous acting out such as stealing cars, harming others and possibly herself in very visible ways like throwing heavy objects at them, along with showing a disturbing lack of concern for her own safety, not even scared as she gets drunk one night, and dances right on the edge of a building on the brink of falling right off.

Uma is mentioned to make frequent and religious use of her crew’s payments of one barrel of grog, to drown her sorrows and sometimes literally climb in and sleep in it because it’s just been that crappy of a day.

Harry is much more visceral with his threats, actually “hooking” people, scarring them, making them bleed, and occasionally breaking a bone just to be different. He might be mentioned to be addicted to a batch of drugs and herbs they call “Hellhound” which is why he acts like a loon--he’s high out of his mind AND thirsting for blood.

Gil is frequently thrown into harm’s way and finds little consequence of him being injured or even killed, downplaying the value of his own life, thinking that he’s only important in relation to someone else’s benefit.

When it comes to the success of the VK program, they don’t have a happy party at the end of Coronation.

The Rotten Four and Ben have a quiet, calm moment in a dressing room somewhere where there are clearly guards questioning them about their conspiracy to almost destroy all of Auradon, and even though they have majorly screwed up and the fate of the entire program is in question now that they have precedent for a major security risk, he will continue to fight for them.

“This is only the beginning of our story.”

Mal will constantly act out and feel like a fraud when she tries to be a lady of the court. She drinks, she smokes, she does some of Carlos’ drugs, and she looks a LOT less pretty as the whole charade finally falls apart, and her breakdown is less likely to be a quiet picnic, more a public event where she curses and calls out everyone on their bullshit parties and functions, before she cries and sobs that this is not who she is.

Even after the resolution of 2, it’s clear that Maleficent still has a hold on her, and that it will be a long time before she ever feels that she’s truly free.

Evie struggles to have a healthy romantic relationship with Doug, or anyone else. She constantly propositions him for sex out of the blue, is confused by his rejecting it, and finds herself alternatively feeling guilty and also wanting to cheat on him, to make it all feel normal. Her confidence does get a boost in that she starts taking pride in her chemical skills and fashion, but Auradon’s sexism and the majority’s distrust on her quickly drive her into depression and questioning why she even bothers.

Jay’s time on the Tourney Team and ROAR is fraught with red cards, permanent benching, and trying to be with a tribe of men that aren’t violent gangbangers trying to just claim territory, beat people up, and have a good time. He fights with his violent impulses, and possibly engages in self-harm when in a fit of drug-induced hallucination, beats the crap out of a shadow version of himself only for Aziz to find him violently punching and knocking his own teeth out.

He also has a LOT of trouble trying not to steal, even though he loudly complains that he’s long lost the pleasure, it’s just something he feels he HAS to do, along with feeling like he always has to keep performing at his best and “prove” himself worthy of love and staying on the team.

Carlos struggles with coping with the feelings he’s been avoiding all this time, to stop taking the “easy” way out with smoking and drugs, and to actually ride all of his panic attacks and nervous breakdowns with the help of other people and support systems instead. He starts building and working on his machines and inventions, but he hesitates to ever show them off to other people, along with being easily bullied and forced to “share” them with people he’d rather not.

Uma’s loveless childhood being treated as a slave by her own mother is brought to the forefront. There is heavy focus on how useless she feels not being the Queen of something, her feelings of inferiority that she masks through bravado, and that what she needs is therapy but what she wants is to rule the world, crush everything that might hurt her underneath her tentacle.

Harry obviously belongs in an asylum, restrained, getting help, and drugs of the helpful variety. He’s clearly a “Joker” type character who’s dangerously unpredictable, to the point where Uma has moments where she just “releases the Kraken” and points Harry in a general direction while she stands in the exact opposite.

Gil is just a loser. He’s nothing, a doormat, a vehicle for other people to achieve their goals and dreams, and it’s not really clear if he’ll ever stop being someone else’s LeFou and start learning how to be his own person with his own desires, than “Gaston’s Son, and the Gaston Twins’ little brother, and Uma’s second favourite lackey”

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cantskank · 5 years ago

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so i just talked to my mom! and it was a FUCKING mess!

like. i never want to talk about what’s going on with work stuff cause tbh right now i’m fucking miserable and i actually hate what i’m doing but idk if it’s just covid-related stuff blocking me or if i should actually just give up.

anyway i told her i didn’t wanna talk about it today (we talk at least once a week and i always give a brief answer on what’s going on with stuff) and it turned into like a whole thing where to her i’m like withholding and trying to not have a close relationship with her.

which maybe it’s a little correct? but at least part of the reason i keep myself emotionally a bit distant from her is that i don’t trust her to react well to me. like if i were to tell her the truth (like, ‘oh x is not going well for me’) she would pick me apart? which she already started doing once i told her i didn’t want to talk about work

anyway it devolved a bit into talking about how she doesn’t want to talk about the things i care about either which she like totally didn’t understand (lots of ‘oh but that’s just how i am’ I KNOW THAT’S HOW YOU ARE BUT I AM MY OWN PERSON AND REACT IN DIFFERENT WAYS TO THINGS TOO)

then it became ‘oh well i guess you don’t want to have the sort of closeness with me that i have with my mother’ which like. fine. if you want to be that reductionist sure. i was trying to explain how i’ve never felt understood in the family and i’ve learned to accept that sometimes (all the time) i don’t get to talk about what i care about with anyone and it’s not somehow different when it’s you talking about feelings but okay be very accusatory and turn me into the awful person for things

like maybe the reason i don’t share feelings with you is because you do this to me

and it’s like, from my perspective i always play by your rules at least a little bit. like i kinda knew it might not end well but i set a boundary and that was Not Acceptable. (i pointed this out to her but it was totally disregarded and ‘no i’m right because you never talk to me anyways’, i guess having a boundary means less if i’ve previously been reluctant to talk about something before.)

AND the whole thing was also brought about kinda because she asked if i was considering dropping my phd and i basically answered ‘maybe but i’m not looking to make any changes right now’. and despite her past reassurances of ‘oh if it’s not working out it’s fine, we’ll always support you, blah blah blah’ of course that did not go over well, it became ‘well why has it taken so long for you to write, why aren’t you updating me, etc etc’. and when i expressed my discomfort/frustration at that attitude that was when it really blew up

like um. maybe me sharing that is proving the point that you’re not someone i can trust???

like i know that i tend to set very particular expectations for how people treat me in friendships (and i can think of some moments in my childhood that come from her that might have caused that mindset in me) but like. that’s my safety mechanism!! i’m sorry that i’m someone who would rather be alone than have a friend that didn’t treat me the way i wanted and really deeply care about them while being treated like shit

anyway then my dad came to see what was going on and like. i get on naturally with my dad much better than with my mom probably. like we have similar personalities (except he like. works very hard and i am lazy as fuck) and we have similar music tastes (and have gone to shows together) and are both much more chill. and a big difference between him and my mom is that he actually listens and pays attention to what i say (although having him around/getting his attention is much more difficult).

so he comes in and takes the phone and tries to talk to me. he has no clue what’s going on and i don’t want to explain the situation with my mom right there in case i say something she doesn’t like and it re-sparks the argument. also i’m crying (and i never cry in front of anyone if i can help it) so i don’t even really want to try speaking. so he guesses that i’m upset because i’m stressed, and it’s not untrue (though absolutely not the main reason at the moment), since stress is why i didn’t want to talk about stuff at the beginning. so he starts trying to give advice like get out of my apartment more (which i’ve actually been like doing the last few days so i haven’t been doing so badly on that front) which i appreciated! it was just challenging to have my mom right there and not even feel like i could get comforted by my dad? or get comforted about the right thing?

like she’s super sensitive about not being favorite i think- which like i know i’m not either of my parents’ favorite, so it feels kinda hypocritical; i’ve gotten used to it and never complained, so like why does she get to make it a big deal?- and if i’m honest i do prefer talking to my dad. which like she’s winning anyways, bc dad’s around less and so i talk to her more anyways.

anyway, what i’m saying is i can’t get comforted by my dad because i can’t explain the full situation without her saying ‘oh so you’ll talk to dad? you clearly don’t care about me‘ and it’s just like!! i should get to receive comfort without you making it about yourself! literally all i’m doing wrong is disagreeing with you and i’m still trying to care about your feelings

idk that’s basically it. she’s pissed since i don’t care enough to tell her how i feel about work and i just want to like be my own person (

oh yeah and also there was stuff in there about ‘i’m just concerned with how you’re struggling in quarantine, you should maybe See Someone’ meaning therapy and i undoubtedly need therapy but 1 i’ve been waiting until i’m off my parent’s health insurance so she won’t know (like idk how it works anyway but i’m never telling her if i go to therapy so i’m just waiting until then) and 2 everyone’s struggling right now and 3 IT’S A SHITTY FUCKING MOVE TO TELL SOMEONE THEY SHOULD GET THERAPY IN RESPONSE TO THEM TELLING YOU THEY THINK THEY MIGHT BE CONSIDERING QUITTING THEIR JOB. like if you were ~~sooooOOOOoo concerned~~ why haven’t you floated this by months ago? only now you bring it up? when i’m not behaving the way you want/expect? therapy for me to get me back to feeling the ‘right’ emotions?? she’s told me i should maybe go to therapy before although in that case it was sending me to therapy and i was 14 or 15 and struggling with having moved. like she’s only brought it up twice and those were when i wasn’t ‘behaving’ myself as expected. therapy is not something you like threaten/bring in to ‘correct’ when someone is feeling a way you don’t think they should be. like if you’re really thinking i should go to therapy then you should be suggesting it out of support? when you feel like you really understand how i’m feeling/what i’m going through? and not as something to bring me back into line.

anyway then she texted and basically said ‘sorry and i guess i’ll stop trying to be (part of) your support network, i’ll assume you’ve got other people looking out for you’ which like...? what? okay? like even as a teen i was having to be the more mature one and this is another passive-aggressive thing i have to deal with. and in the past i might have apologized? but nowadays my tolerance for that bullshit is extremely low. so i just said ‘not what i was going for but you do you’ essentially and she texted back ‘what were you going for’ and i haven’t responded yet. i will presumably but probably not tonight, i cannot deal. i don’t even know where to start with that, she just really does not get it. and i thought i could almost make her get it today by explaining my perspective but all she wants to think about is herself and her perspective and how she’s right.

so basically i’m very done with things tonight. and i’ve cried a couple times since because i’m just feeling very shitty about everything. here’s hoping tomorrow is better.

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