#they are just a normal cult that peter would be weirded out by cause they worship him more than spidey at this point.

[movedtodykedvonte]

Spider-Man “fan club” that consists of all the people that have accidently found out his identity or seen his face and decided they would keep his secret but be total freaks about it.

They want to know everything about his civilian life and sort of idolize the person Peter is as it takes a true kind and courageous soul to take the mantle of a hero as Spider-Man and never run from it. They see him as the best person alive and aim to serve him as discreetly as possible...

[blookmallow]

hoouhgh i finally watched hereditary even though i knew it would upset me but i really, really liked midsommar and wanted to give it a shot but it Did, In Fact, Definitely Fucking Upset Me :’) im alright though im just like well! i am never watching That again 

anyway it was. really interesting but i feel like i did not understand it at all. heres me trying to untangle some thoughts 

- I don’t totally understand the significance of the dollhouse/miniature parallels. something something “a way to control her life/the things happening to her when she Can’t control them” annie is unable to express feelings, so she expresses them in her art (her miniatures) like charlie expresses through drawing 

she makes models about her trauma, it seems to be how she processes them, she has models of her mother in hospice care, her mother like an apparition at the bedroom door, and then a graphic model of charlie’s death 

- paint seems to be a significant symbol in some places. maybe... paint represents Emotion/grief? annie normally paints her models very, very delicately and carefully, cautiously controlling and keeping the strokes tiny and precise. she spills the paint before she goes to joan’s house for the first time - maybe a spilling of emotion, trauma pouring out in an uncontrolled mess, so it serves as the catalyst for her deciding she needs help (or, if you go with the “everything was predetermined” concept, she spilled the paint specifically to point her to the paper so she would call joan, i guess) 

in her sleepwalking state in the past, annie covered herself and her children with paint thinner as a flame accelerant  - something to make emotions lesser, to water them down, ultimately to destroy them?

then when she runs into joan again (another Probably Not Coincidence) it’s as she’s coming out of the craft store (possibly, buying more paint, possibly even replacing the spilled paint with something else)

- flame is an obvious important symbol too: charlie sees her grandmother engulfed in flame, her parents are constantly concerned that she’ll freeze because she sleeps in the tree house without heaters and goes out without a coat (possibly she doesn’t feel the cold because of. hell. i dont know) the seance rituals start with a candle flame, dumping water on annie stops the possession 

annie slept in the tree house surrounded in heaters, she did feel the cold and tried to protect herself from it, and she thought she was the link to whatever was terrorizing her family but instead of killing her, burning the sketchbook killed her husband instead, so i think that might be implying that annie is not in fact what’s actually causing all of this. im guessing the book burned her at first to stop her from destroying it - as charlie is really the cause, and probably needs it - and then burned the. father whose name i have forgotten instead of her out of spite or to send a “this isn’t about you, and you cannot stop me” message 

- i think the death of the pigeon may have been what awakened something in charlie, she cuts off its head and draws the severed head with a crown, both foreshadowing what is about to happen to her, and that she. i guess, is actually. hell royalty. or whatever the fuck that was 

she mentions her grandmother wanted her to be a boy, but since peter was born first, i dont understand why this... demon thing passed on to charlie, the second child, instead of the firstborn, who was a boy, which is apparently the demon’s preference. maybe something to do with the fact that annie did not want him and actively tried to miscarry him fucked up the. whatever it is that causes the rebirth

I really just don’t buy that charlie was always a hell demon and never loved anyone in her family? it seems like it took her over or awakened in her as time went on, annie mentions her mother had DID so it’s possible that charlie and. whatever the demon’s name is are in fact two different entities that both lived within charlie (most likely when the grandmother died, it moved to charlie because of the connection charlie had with her. still dont know why charlie was the one groomed into this rather than peter, though) 

- there’s a lot of passively Wanting To Die or seeing the inevitability of death; charlie wandered off, slept in the cold, didn’t bring a coat, didn’t bring her epi pen, wasn’t careful about nuts, possibly Knew or at least subconsciously knew that body, that self, was necessarily going to die, and didn’t ultimately matter. she asks her mother “who will take care of me when you die” and weirdly instead of saying something like “don’t worry, I won’t die for a long time” or something reassuring, annie just says “well, then your father will, or peter” almost implying somewhere subconsciously she knows she’s going to die too

when charlie died, annie in her grief screamed that she wanted to die too. her unconscious self tried to kill her children and herself before, and may have tried to strangle peter (it’s unclear if that actually happened or if it was the demon and peter thought it was his mother or if it was a hallucination/nightmare altogether) and she actively tried to miscarry to prevent peter from being born in the first place 

im not sure what exactly that means. could be that annie subconsciously could feel the trauma and tragedy that was, inevitably, coming for her and her family and was trying to kill them all to save them from it (but was horrified on realizing this, as she didn’t consciously know this) but her attempts always failed because the demon stopped her from denying fate 

 - it’s very odd to me that the father is never included in these incidents, though. we see almost nothing of his own emotional self or grief. the demon never affects him at all until the moment of his death and even then it feels like he was only killed to hurt annie and peter 

we see his anger, but it comes out like annoyance rather than grief, we don’t see him break down until way, way later when he’s alone in a car with his unconscious son (he makes a sudden stop, and. nothing happens, but it’s possible something in the physical act of... almost getting in an accident, almost having That Happen Again, himself, might have snapped something in him)

then they come home, and annie goes from relief that her husband in the front seat is okay, to immediate panic realizing, once again, her child is unresponsive in the back seat with a head injury (though obviously way less severe. he uh. he still had a head)

so. parallels. i lost where i was going with that thought. the demon doesn’t seem interested in the father at all and he seems to be completely emotionally disconnected from his family and his life and im not sure what purpose that serves

- on predestination: charlie’s treehouse may have always been a cult temple (then, did sleeping there affect her spiritually/mentally, or did she want to sleep there because the demon was already in her?) 

we don’t know the extent of joan’s involvement in their lives. she knew annie’s mother, so she’s been involved The Whole Goddamn Time, but we don’t know how far that influence goes. she could have had a hand in putting the nuts in the cake somehow (knew someone there, recommended the recipe, something). peter swerves because there was a dead animal in the road - joan and/or the other cultists could have put it there. joan probably was waiting for annie at the grief counseling group and could have followed her to the craft store to stage an “incidental” meet up (annie is the one who notices her and calls out to her, but she could have just been making herself visible expecting that she would probably see her - if she keeps showing up places and reaching out to her first, annie might become suspicious that she’s doing it on purpose) 

she gives annie the means to talk to her daughter’s spirit, knowing that she’s broken and desperate and will likely do it (probably knowing she’s a medium already, too), knowing that this will make contact with the demon (the incantation she gives her is probably specifically for that purpose - since annie can’t read the language, she wouldn’t know this. the moral here is don’t read weird ancient latin texts out loud) , and knowing that annie will then blame herself for what she perceives is what she’s done to her family - when really, it was the plan all along 

anyway. uh. that sure was a lot 

[aion-rsa]

WandaVision: The Unanswered Questions From the Marvel Series

https://ift.tt/38r7iqE

This article contains WandaVision spoilers.

After two months and nine episodes, WandaVision came to a close. One of the more unique projects to come out of the Marvel Cinematic Universe, the show mixed mystery and horror with sitcom pastiche and understandings of grief under the superhero umbrella. The first step in both Phase 4 and Disney+’s Marvel lineup came out a success and built towards future projects.

Then again, its mysterious nature worked against it at times. Figuring out answers on a weekly basis meant trying to stay one step ahead of the show and sometimes it got viewers going in the wrong direction. There was no Mephisto or X-Men or Fantastic Four. On one hand, you can say that people are getting angry about stuff that they were never promised, but there is a feeling that when combing over the details of the show, they did cause us to ask some questions that never quite had a satisfying answer.

After all, even Agnes’ joke story about being out of town due to her mother-in-law visiting proved to be an important detail down the line.

As we sit back and wait for Doctor Strange in the Multiverse of Madness to pick up where our power couple left off, here are some lingering questions we’re left with from WandaVision.

What happened to the beekeeper?

The beekeeper was the first truly haunting moment of the series. Sure, “Stop it!” and the exploding radio were creepy in their own ways, but the idea of Wanda and Vision walking outside at night to find a lone beekeeper sneaking out of the sewer and quietly looking at them was outright nightmare fuel. It was a major instance of wondering what in God’s name was going on, and that’s even before Wanda simply noped out, hit rewind, and retconned the scene from happening.

We later discover that the beekeeper is SWORD Agent Franklin and his appearance is just Wanda’s reality making sense of a man in a hazmat suit. We see him crawling out of the sewer from his point of view, but then…nothing.

While the reveal of his identity doesn’t lead us to AIM henchmen or Swarm (star of Broadway’s Spider-Man: Turn Off the Dark), it does explain the nature of Wanda’s neighborhood. That still makes it weird that we never hear from him again.

Or do we? While it’s never made explicit on the show itself, supposedly the guy playing the ice cream man in the episode 5 intro is the same actor as Agent Franklin. Perhaps the beekeeper didn’t die, but was just assimilated into a happier role.

Who was in Witness Protection?

FBI Agent James Woo gets the story rolling by coming to Westview in search of someone in witness protection. The complete lack of anyone having any information or even memory of this person is what gets SWORD involved and Monica Rambeau sucked into Westview. In the end, the identity is just not important.

But it feels like it should be, right? Having Woo go from coast to coast to follow up on this person seems pretty major. You would think it would have come up here or there, but nope. If anything, I guess it just goes to show that Jimmy Woo is a true professional for keeping his trap shut.

Who is the aerospace engineer?

I can understand that throwing Evan Peters’ Quicksilver at us was a good way to distract us from everything Agnes was doing, but the aerospace engineer? Come on! That was definitely more deliberate than the witness protection and they know it.

Monica brings up a friend who is smart enough to get her to break into the Hex all over again. All that’s missing is a smile and wink to the camera. The writers gave us something so blatant that it would be ridiculous NOT to speculate who she was talking about. This had to be an important cameo leading to something major down the line. Would we get Reed Richards? Blue Marvel? Beast? Dr. Nemesis? NFL Superpro?

Even when Monica’s dream vehicle didn’t do the job, it was still believed that this aerospace engineer would still get a dramatic shout-out down the line or a post-credits scene. Nope. At most, this throwaway friend is like that scene in Thor when Erik Selvig was talking up his gamma scientist friend who went missing because of SHIELD.

What did the commercials really mean?

It isn’t hard to figure out that the commercials were based on Wanda’s trauma: the bomb that killed her parents, her time with Hydra, the events of Captain America: Civil War, and her inability to deal with her grief in a meaningful way that didn’t involve torturing and enslaving innocent people. While it isn’t really important to see how the sausage is made, I’m left wondering what the commercials actually were.

From the fourth episode, we do know that the commercials were part of the transmissions. Darcy was able to see the one for the watch, but was focused on something else. Otherwise, I’m sure she would have been wondering about the inclusion of the HYDRA logo. The way everyone in the SWORD collaboration just glossed over the commercials is rather weird.

One of the popular theories was that the man and woman featured in all the live-action commercials were going to be revealed as Wanda and Pietro’s parents. That turned out not to be true, so…were they also Westview citizens? That would be disturbing because to make sense of the commercial narratives and the sitcom narratives, that family would have to be forcefully separated from the rest of the town.

Did Agatha magic up the stop-motion commercial for Yo-Magic? Because that was about her too much to be something Wanda’s psyche came up with.

Is there more to “Fake Pietro” Ralph Bohner?

“Fietro” was the big red herring of the series. After all that wondering of whether he was the first true step in bringing mutants into the MCU or if he was literal Satan in disguise, we discovered he was Agnes’ hypnotized “husband” whose payoff was nothing more than a dick joke.

Then again, he was already called Peter in the Fox universe, so it’s not such a hard stretch to make him a Bohner.

Read more

TV

Will The Falcon and the Winter Soldier Become a Victim of WandaVision’s Success?

By Kirsten Howard

Movies

A Tale of Two Pietros: Explaining the MCU X-Men Problem With a Mutant Speedster

By Gavin Jasper

Monica’s ability to see energy in its various forms allowed her to figure out that Agatha was controlling Ralph with a mystical necklace. Once she tore it off, Ralph immediately gave up and that was the last we saw of him. But what does that mean in terms of his powers?

I imagine Agatha gave him the speed powers so he could play the part of Pietro in order to get intel on Wanda’s magic. Just because she no longer controls him, does that mean he’s physically back to normal as well? Because, hey, he might not be the Quicksilver from the X-Men universe, but he could totally play the role of Quicksilver if Marvel ends up doing a cinematic version of the Thunderbolts or Dark Avengers.

Where did White Vision go?

Vision’s Soul fought Vision’s Body and after we got enough lasers and explosions, the two talked out their differences. Hex Vision convinced his pasty counterpart to stand down and did him the favor of unlocking his dormant memories (that he asked permission was such a nice touch). White Vision recalled everything from the moment of his creation to Thanos pulling out the Mind Stone. Accepting who he is, White Vision flew off and was never referenced again.

I supposed the real question to ask is when will we see him next? Obviously, he has a lot to think about. He’s an emotional husk with lots of data to work through. Does he love Wanda in this form? Can he still love Wanda in this form, knowing what she’s become? As someone who was pro-government oversight, how will it affect him knowing that the government outright betrayed his wishes and memory? Where does someone like White Vision go from here?

Maybe we’ll see him in Doctor Strange in the Multiverse of Madness. Perhaps, when a new Avengers movie finally happens, Vision will show himself again. Or if they go in the direction of Young Avengers, he could be the wise father to the sons he’s never met.

It would be pretty wild if White Vision relearned how to convey emotions by watching Simon Williams movies.

What are the twins, exactly?

“FOR THE CHILDREN!” is what the neighbors echoed like a brainwashed cult, culminating in Wanda’s very unusual pregnancy. It could have been Wanda’s subconscious telling her to have kids. It could have been Agatha testing out her ability to create life from nothing. It also may have been the children themselves.

We never did fully get a grasp on what Billy and Tommy were. Wanda had a very unnatural birth and, outside of being able to age themselves a couple times, the boys seemed fairly down to earth and good-natured, while also still capable of questioning Wanda’s reality. There was nothing ominous about them outside of the weird nature of their very existence.

When Wanda relaxed the Hex, they started to disappear. When she ended the Hex completely, they once again vanished. Simply saying that they were two kids Wanda conjured up out of thin air would have been an acceptable answer.

Read more

TV

WandaVision: What Wanda’s Kids Mean for the Future of the Marvel Cinematic Universe

By Gavin Jasper

TV

Will The Falcon and the Winter Soldier Become a Victim of WandaVision’s Success?

By Kirsten Howard

Instead, when Wanda fully accepted what her reality was and that it had to end, she thanked her children for “choosing” her to be their mother. She was able to explain what Vision was in the grand scheme of things, but she remained silent when it came to those kids. They were an outside force that sought her out. That’s what her final conversation certainly implies.

The post-credits scene had her studying the Darkhold while being alerted to Billy and Tommy screaming for help. They still exist, in some form, somewhere. Their true nature probably won’t be better explained until the Doctor Strange sequel.

Speculation on this one is a pain in the ass because even the comics explanation is a whirlwind of confusion.

What really happened to Agatha Harkness?

Wanda doesn’t kill Agatha, but does punish her by forcing her to be stuck in the living Hell of portraying Agnes the nosey neighbor. It’s a harsh punishment, but her intent doesn’t jibe with Agatha’s post-Hex status. People know about her. Even if the last few in-universe episodes of WandaVision weren’t on the SWORD airwaves, she was still playing the role of final boss and having magic fights in the sky. The people of Westview saw that.

Wouldn’t this mean that she can’t just go back to her “nosy neighbor” role and that she’s likely destined for a cell? She’ll be lucky if the government isn’t doing experiments on her, which is extra messed up when you imagine her acting like Ned Flanders.

At least she’ll be kept subdued for when the Scarlet Witch needs her. Or maybe she too will join whatever Thunderbolts/Dark Avengers team we may see down the line.

cnx.cmd.push(function() { cnx({ playerId: "106e33c0-3911-473c-b599-b1426db57530", }).render("0270c398a82f44f49c23c16122516796"); });

Just give us more Kathryn Hahn, damn it!

The post WandaVision: The Unanswered Questions From the Marvel Series appeared first on Den of Geek.

from Den of Geek https://ift.tt/2OFQ8yB

[tmabutlesbian]

After watching The Haunting of Bly Manor and crying my eyes out I immediately made an tma AU inspired by it and now I can’t stop thinking abt it ‘cause it happens around 1890′ and there’s magic (cuz i love magic) I literally love it, so I’m gonna info dump abt my own fucking AU, here goes:

Main characters? Martin, Agnes, Gerard, Annabelle, Jude, and Gertrude. Spoiler alert! They all die sooner or later. This is abt ghosts after all. 

(this gets very long i apologise)

I’m gonna help you out with their ages here real quick:

- Gertrude, Agnes, Jude, and Martin have the same age, just some months older or younger. It’s in the order they’re mentioned (yes, Martin is the baby here)

- Gerry is 4 years give or take older than all those 4 lil bastards

- when Gerry is 5, Annabelle is 18; do the math

QUICK TIMELAPSE UNTIL AGNES AND MARTIN START RESIDING IN MAGNUS MANOR!!!! (yes I named it that call me unoriginal)

Gerry is 5 when he starts to spend summers at Magnus; HIGHLY magical place, Mary is very intrigued -> Gerry gets roped into it (ofc ugh)

Annabelle was already in the magic business so both women worked together. Annabelle gets extremely attached to Gerry and Gerry to Annabelle. (Annabelle is going to be different than canon ‘cause it’s my AU and I decide what happens AND she doesn’t get experimented on ever so that’s a bonus; She has the role Hannah from Bly in this AU)

Gerry turns 9, Mary and Annabelle break off their deal because Annabelle wasn’t letting her hurt Gerry anymore, Gerry doesn’t want to do his mother’s dirty work -> he doesn’t want to go back to the manor. Until...

Martin and Agnes! The manor is housing other children when their parents aren’t able to; Gerry gets attached to both them -> Gerry ends up getting back in the manor to protect them + help Annabelle with their supernatural freak show (the manor).

Martin and Agnes time at Magnus Manor!!! Up until they’re 14 and Gerry’s 18 ‘cause that’s when shit goes down

SO. People. Let’s get some things straight: No one here is human. Not completely. Just to summarize quick: Martin is a shapeshifter (he knows other basic magic); Agnes is a fire witch (she knows other basic magic); Gerry is a witch (mainly divination and sorts, but he knows other basic magic); Annabelle is a witch (reality pulling/manipulation mainly).

- Agnes is still with the cult until she’s 14; she does not know she’s part of one until that age. She just thinks her family’s weird, and that magic is to be kept secret; she also doesn’t get their whole “You’re our messiah!” deal ‘cause she’s not, she’s just Agnes.

- Martin learned his magic from his father. Shapeshifting is the hardest magic out there but Martin could do it at 4 years old. He keeps it a secret ‘cause his dad told him to but he jokes abt it too much (people thing he’s weird and crazy but also just a kid). Then his father leaves at 8 years old and the trauma is so great he... forgets he has magic and just doesn’t do it anymore. He has weird dreams and doesn’t think much of it (until he’s 14).

- Gerry learned magic stuff from Mary but only started gaining his knowing abilities after staying at Magnus. He’s not surprised by it, he is literally there to study it and protect the kids from it alongside Annabelle.

- Annabelle doesn’t realize she has magic up until she dies (oops). She just thinks she’s hallucinating stuff and has lots of luck.

So yeah. Annabelle and Gerry work in secret. Martin and Agnes become siblings (twins they say). Gerry and Annabelle know the others are not human but don’t know how to approach it.

Agnes just gets more and more distant the more time she spends outside of Magnus and Annabelle doesn’t like it one bit. Martin has 1 big magic scare at 11 years old (he’s dreaming of something weird, he’s convulsing, Gerry and Agnes panic, he wakes up and feels strangely pulled to a certain direction outside of the house and that’s it).

At 13, Agnes is always studying at the cult (more and more distant every year but she wants to be at Magnus). Martin finds what was pulling him and it was just a very messy green house (THIS PLACE!!! So important for the plot and for the gayssss).

Gerry (17) and Martin (13) start using the green house together ‘cause Martin wants Gerry to busy himself instead of smoking (Martin hates the smell and doesn’t like Gerry’s coughing when he does it); Gerry does enjoy it but he never admits it to Martin (tsudenre cunt, love him).

(Gerry was already using the green house at night as his mini station; it’s messy ‘cause after Martin’s big scare he was paranoid that they would find it, so he hid everything hastelly)

At 14! Martin and Agnes find out the hard truths:

- Gerry n Annabelle’s whole deal (they followed Gerry one night and it went down hill quick)

- There’s a fucking ghost lady in the lake that visits the manor every 2 weeks at night and they didn’t know? Hello???

- Agnes finds out she’s in a cult from Annabelle and fears for her life so! They fake her disappearance! I guess! These bitches are dramatic

- Martin finds out he has magic! Again, I guess! But he represses it again ‘cause he looks like his father when he does magic and he hates that! Yay, trauma!

Now presenting: Gertrude and Jude!!! They’re now relevant to the plot!!!

Gertrude, Agnes, and Jude all frequent the same school (separated by gender because I said so). They’re all in the same class. They’re close friends but still only classmates basically.

Jude was put is Agnes class for the cult’s purposes. Agnes had the excuse “I’m not that lonely, I’m with Jude! Who comes from the same community where I grew up in, and they’re very secluded! How strange!”.

Gertrude and Agnes feel close to each other but they’re basically just close classmates (they’re soulmates btw eeeeeeh).

Then Agnes goes ‘missing’. Gertrude knew something was off but now she’s certain of it. She forms an alliance with Jude to investigate Agnes disappearance. 2 years after (16), they make a deal with Elias (he’s funding the place with Peter’s whore money) and they’re able to enter the place. 

Magnus Manor is closed off for anyone who doesn’t work there or doesn’t live there.

SO. They go in. Normal enough. They get warned not go out at night (it’s lady of the lake time). The girls think they’re onto them, so they sneak out in the night to find Agnes sleeping in a cellar. These dumb lesbians thought she had been kidnapped by them or something; so they drag Agnes’ sleepy ass out of there.

Or they try to until the lady of the lake barges in. At this point everyone’s awake. The lady does her routine. Then -> screaming match. Lots of things are resolved here:

- Agnes is not missing and she’s wanted by the cult for reasons unknown (to the girls)

- Jude is part of this cult (Gertrude didn’t know); she’s grown fond of Agnes and prefers lying to her community than to see her in distress, so she’s staying quiet about it

- Gertrude hates the church because they burned her loved ones to death, her house, and her cat (this is what made her snap, her parents never truly loved her anyways)

Gertrude never knows that Agnes is part of the cult, just that she’s wanted by it, until Agnes’ death (oopsie daisie)

We have the whole gang here!!! They now work together to stop freak dangerous shit from happening and to figuring the mystery that is Magnus Manor. Up until Agnes is 18. Then some more shit happens...

I’ll leave that for another post!! I have so much shit planned for this, I love it, and if you have made it this far... well... thank you so much for reading!!! And yes, you can make fanart, yes you can write some lil things abt this, inspired by this, just be sure to credit me and to tell me!!! I wanna see :)

[dailudannos]

Reverse Role P2!

I have more developed spreadsheets and character builds ready. So now I feel confident in sharing a part 2 of my very special AU.

{TW: This talks about causes of death; I'm incredibly sorry if anyone is not able to handle it}

(This is very long, working on mobile sucks)

Pariah Dark is a wild child and more of the wild card than what Fright Knight is

Peter Moore grew up as another rich kid next door to Arthur, and cherished his bromance with him in his best friend's time of need. But he acts more of a frat boy when it comes to high school

Freshman year and he already gets in detention for reasons he doesn't even know. No bad grades, just bad conduct is all. Arthur usually has to keep him in check when it comes to keeping a low profile as a ghost superhero

Before his halfa beginning trying to save Arthur from a house fire, he went inside and his eye was slashed by the bearer of the sword protecting Arthur's body, and has a scar on his left eye, trailing down his face

Sidney Poindexter is alive and well in this alternative universe. Very intelligent and extremely smart, he could've been a scientist, but instead became a high school teacher to help the other kids out

He's young in this AU, as he was young in the show. Only 25 years old and he can kind of relate to the kids. It's mostly forms of science that are best with the students

Penelope; human biology, Damien; botany & biology, Nicolas; study of atoms & molecule studies, Amber; Study of sound and soundwaves, Jeremiah; Biology & genetic mutations, Braden; Marine Biology, and Arthur/Peter are good test students to use for an experiment

Although he can be strict sometimes, he still helps his students to the best of his ability

Youngblood is all grown up as well, and has a lot to show as mayor of Amity Park

Taylor Elizabeth, aged 28, good-looking, and wishing for the well-being of the next generation of hard working citizens of Amity Park. He got “youngblood” as a nickname bc he’s lived in Amity for almost all his life. He loves it here, even if it is weird with its ghostly residents

The kids call him Mayor Youngblood, cause it’s just fun to say. Taylor doesn’t mind, because they’re only kids, you only live once (right?)

Lunch Lady is your every day, average...well...lunch lady! She loves her job as a chef at school. And enjoys having her time spent with the kids that she’s come to know over the years.

Lucille Landerman, just like a mother hen, she dotes on the boys when they compliment on her cooking. She’s not just MEAT MEAT MEAT, and makes meals for kids with specific allergies. She looks at JJ like the sweet little boy she thinks he is, and he smiles awkwardly as she pats him on the shoulder

Sometimes, when no ones looking, she give extra dessert to Damien and Braden, and cookies to the rest of the kids.

And she’s no granny, let me tell you. When she was younger, she use to fight on rooftops and be super big for her age. But when a ghost or attacker tries to hurt the kids she feeds, you bet she’s gonna hit them with an iron skillet on the head

Box Ghost is the same as Lunch Lady, very caring and usual easy going with the kids, even if they are having a bad day, he'll pull out a pun or two to cheer anyone up

Bejamin Boxmore; early 40's, school janitor/custodian. He likes having Damien around, especially when he needs help with a heavy load of boxes coming and going into the supply closet. At the end of the day, he'll give the good-natured boy a little gift-wrapped box, usually with a trinket or a tiny flower pot as a thanks

And he's not at all going to deal with the tomfoolery of some ghost that wants to hurt the good students of Casper High, so he always carries at least a broom or a mop with him at all times

He has a little girl from a past marriage named Lucy; he adores her everytime she comes over to his house on the weekends

Siblings Dorothea and Aragon are always by each other's side, stuck to one another like glue. They have their backs covered, and defend anyone who can't defend themselves

Dorothy and Alexander Pendragon come groom a long line of royalty, and their wealth says so. Born twins, Alex usually takes the lead as the older twin, but Dorothy takes charge with a plan in mind. They've both known Penelope and Arthur for a long time, and became friends based on their hatred for being the rich kids on the block

Dorothy is extremely intelligent when it comes to engineering and technical difficulties, which makes her a good study partner

Alex is the bronze of the two, thinking mostly with his fists rather than with his head. Dorothy usually has to keep him from getting into trouble, and even then that doesn't help

They both came into their powers when they inherited strange matching medallions from two great grandparents, that were also twins. When they finally put them on, they couldn't handle the powers the jewels possessed, and their lives were forever changed

In their ghostly forms, they have a reptilian appearance reassembling a dragonborn child, but with wings and a tail. They have abilities the same as a ghost, with fire breathing and a dragon form

They're referred to as "The Dragon Twins" as they're forms look exactly the same, except Alex is black and white, and Dorothy is blue and green

Clockwork is a teenaged genius with the mental capacity between a child, a teenager and a 42 year old man. He's the top of his class and an intelligent young man

His ADHD can leave him acting like the total opposite of what he normally acts like. First a mature, composed 15 year old child genius, to an adrenaline junkie for a taste of fun and cotton candy

His coming-of-ghostly-status resulted from multiple gunshots in the legs, which were almost fatal if the angel of death had not intervened. He woke up in the hospital, paralyzed to the waist down, and being able to slow down time at will

The name "Clockwork" was strung together by JJ, who insisted his time controlling powers were amazing, and he needed a name to match such cool abilities

Nocturne is the weird kid from middle school that turned the hot guy that can literally SHAPESHIFT FROM BOY TO GIRL-HOW DOES HE DO IT???

He's also really laid back and goes with the flow of things. He's known more as a gentle giant bc of his height. But he also loves to help some of the shorter teachers out in case they can't reach anything

Nova Lewis is one of the few very mysterious kids in school. Nobody knows if he is a he, a she, a they??? It's confusing to everyone at school, but only Nova knows that

They're great friends with Charlie and are exceptionally great with the other kids too. Arthur and Peter welcomed him with bear hugs when they found another ally in the ghost half team. The girls love to take fashion advice from them based on their own style, and being that he's tall and lanky, he helps JJ with annything taller than 5'9"

How they came to be was really twisted and horrible. Nova's parents had been in a cult for years, hiding from him in secret, worshipping to one and only 'dreamer god' who would whisper sweet nothings to make the pain of reality go away. One day, in order to 'summon' his great god, there needed to be a sacrifice; someone who was young, and free, and had the most innocence

Bingo! Nova was taken and blindfolded, deep into the woods, on a starry night, when the moon was full, and brought into a circle of concrete with symbols on it. The deed was done, blood had been spilled from the mouth of the young child, but nothing happened. The followers left, leaving the body behind, when Nova gasped once more for life

The very next day he went to the police and filed an attempted cult killing by his parents, and they were arrested for attempted murder; now he lives with his aunt in Amity

Omg I am SO gonna do origin story comics because I love doing every single back story for these characters

[ohblackdiamond]

little t&a (paul/gene, nc-17) (part 1 of 29)

part 1   part 2   part 3   part 4   part 5   part 6   part 7   part 8   part 9   part 10   part 11   part 12   part 13   part 14   part 15   part 16   part 17   part 18   part 19   part 20   part 21  part 22   part 23   part 24    part 25   part 26   part 27   part 28   part 29 Four weeks before KISS gets back on tour, Gene discovers that Paul’s been cursed by a groupie. For the sake of KISS’ finances, Paul’s comfort level, and Gene’s libido, this situation must be rectified. Sexswap fic.

Notes: This has been on the backburner pretty much since the quarantine started. I really wrestled with posting it at all since it’s a weird premise, and most of my fics have a more realistic bent, but I decided that if it perked me up while working remotely, eating ramen, and feeling like I was back in uni in all the worst ways (when was I in uni? why, during the Great Recession!)-- then maybe it’d perk someone else up, too. So here we are.

           Gene really didn’t think too much of it at first when Paul vanished just after the tour. He didn’t take it personally, the way Peter did, and he didn’t get too quizzical about it like Ace did. The whole band was burnt-out on each other. The days where they had to share hotel rooms were gone, and the days where they wanted to share vacations were gone, too. Gene couldn’t pinpoint when it had gotten like that, and it made him a little regretful, sure, but it was just another inevitability. The Beatles had made it ten years before imploding, all those hurt egos just smushing together and screwing everything up. KISS had four years under its belt now, and already he could feel things faltering.

           So maybe Paul was trying to ease all that via his disappearing act. Spend his tour break at home, probably with a bevy of girls lining up at his front porch, and come back refreshed and ready for another nine-month stretch with only a wall between him and his bandmates, assuming Ace and Peter didn’t tear a hole in it on a drunken whim. It made sense. The first time Paul didn’t return his phone call (the tinny sound of his $400 answering machine the only response), Gene wasn’t concerned. The second time, Gene assumed Paul had gone to a disco, or was spending the night at some chick’s house. The third time, Gene immediately called up Bill, who said he hadn’t heard from Paul, either.

           That was cause for concern. Paul could, and did, blow off anybody but their manager. Still, Gene figured he’d give it one more day, and one more lay, before he started to investigate.

           That was the plan, until he got his mail late one morning. There was always a fat stack of it. The actual sackfuls of fan mail would end up at some office, where a poor secretary was stuck stuffing envelopes with their pictures and a canned response. Sometimes a real sleuth would find his address, and he’d open those out of sheer novelty, when he had the chance, only to be disappointed when the writer turned out to be a twelve-year-old who’d spent his paper route money on several books of stamps, and mailed the same letter out to every Gene Simmons in the greater New York phone book. Every so often he’d get the good stuff, like a saucy letter from a college girl, with photos and pubic hair taped inside. “See you next time in Sacramento.” He never wrote them back, but he’d put the photos in a separate album from his conquests. Almost a hope chest of photos, there.

           Gene thumbed through the newsletters and errant bills so quickly he nearly missed it. A glossy postcard, with Buckingham Palace on the front. It couldn’t have been a piece of fan mail, but he didn’t know anyone who’d bother writing him, either. He flipped it over out of curiosity. Weird.

           He recognized the scratchy longhand before he got to the signature. Not that it took long. Thee address was almost lengthier than the postcard message.

           “Gene—Do you know anything about curses? Write me back soon. Thanks, Paul.”

--

           He called up Peter about it that afternoon, still baffled. He didn’t really think Peter would have any insight on it—Paul and Peter hadn’t been as close as they used to be, though that went for everyone—but he surprised him.

“I haven’t heard from him. I figured you had.” Peter was chewing gum as he spoke. Gene could hear the smacks through the receiver. “Why the fuck would he send you a postcard? You live closer to him than I do.”

“That’s what I’m trying to find out.”

“Talking about curses…” Peter trailed. “Shit, I went over there last week. Didn’t call him up first, just thought I’d go over like I used to. I banged on the door and some chick came out and screamed at me to go away. I told her who I was and she just stared at me.”

           “Paul doesn’t pick girls for brains.”

           “It was kinda weird, though. Picky bastard usually gets blondes.”

           “What, was she a brunette?”

           “Yeah, real dark, curly hair—you don’t think he’s shacked up with her, do you? Some New Age type, turning him on to something funny? ’Cause he doesn’t usually want ’em sticking around, either, and I stopped by after lunch…”

           Evidently, Peter paid more attention to Paul’s habits with girls than Gene ever had.

“I don’t know. Was she cute?”

“Yeah. She had nice tits.”

           Of course she did. Gene rubbed the back of his neck with his free hand.

           “I’m gonna look into this. I’ll let you know if I can’t get in touch with him.”

           “Sure.” There was a slight hesitation. “Hey, thanks for calling me. I thought he was pissed at me or some shit. But I guess he’s pissed at everybody.”

           Gene privately feared it was worse than that. If Paul had gotten a girlfriend, one serious enough he was ignoring everyone and everything else, even the looming tour, for her sake… well, that didn’t make sense, not unless she’d conned him into something. There were still plenty of cults and communes all over the place, the leftover remnants of disillusioned hippies. They’d join fringe churches or create their own religions and live in tents on the side of the road. He didn’t think Paul would have fallen into something like that, unless the girl had spruced it up with a bunch of psychobabble and talk therapy. Paul dug astrology and self-help, but it wasn’t something he’d trade his lifestyle for. Was it?

           “I’ll find out. I’ll see you, Pete.”

           He hung up, then dialed his chauffeur. An hour or so later, he was pulling up to Paul’s.

--

           He told the chauffeur not to wait on him. If Paul was at his house, he’d make him drive him back. It turned out they weren’t Paul’s only visitors. Ahead of them, walking up the driveway, was a kid carrying two grocery bags, his bicycle parked in the grass.

           Gene didn’t normally have an issue making his presence known. But he held back, curious. He wanted to see who would open the door—that supposed live-in girlfriend, some other chick, or Paul himself. As the chauffeur drove away, he hung back a bit, tucking himself behind a tree at the edge of the front of the house, near the front porch. The kid didn’t seem to notice.

           He watched the kid—he was probably about eleven—ring the doorbell with his elbow. After a couple seconds, the door opened, a girl in a blue bathrobe walking out, shutting the door behind her. Gene recognized the bathrobe as one of Paul’s, though she filled it out better than he ever had. She wasn’t even wearing anything beneath it that he could tell, cleavage obvious, the loosely-tied bathrobe hiding none of it. Curly, dark hair—Gene wondered if this was the girlfriend, or bedmate, that Peter had seen earlier. No telling.

           “How much was it?” she asked the kid.

           “Eight twenty-five.”

           “You have the receipt?”

           The kid pulled out the receipt. The girl looked at it, nodded, then took a wallet from the pocket of Paul’s bathrobe, tugging out a couple bills.

           “Here’s nine. Keep the change.”

           “Thanks.” The kid paused. “I thought somebody famous was supposed to live here.”

            “You thought wrong.” The girl took the two bags of groceries and turned back towards the door, trying to use her elbow to turn the knob. The kid was already back on his bicycle. As he kicked the stand up, he called back out to her over his shoulder.

           “Hey, you gonna need groceries next week, too?”

           “I hope not.” She set both bags on the front porch. The kid nodded, waving as he started down the driveway. The girl didn’t wave back, busy opening the door.

           Now was Gene’s chance. He stepped out from behind the tree and walked to the front porch as the girl picked up one of the grocery bags again.

           “Hey.”

           She turned around immediately. Her eyes got big.

           “Shit—Gene!”

           She recognized him. That didn’t narrow it down. She looked familiar, somehow—she wasn’t a Playmate, Gene always recognized those—maybe a model, or a groupie? But Paul didn’t bring those home. Gene raised a finger to his mouth.

           “Shh. Look, I’m here to see Paul. Is he in?”

           “Wh—no. No, sorry.” A tense, quick smile. Definitely not a model. Only Ali MacGraw could manage to make it with crooked teeth.

           “Can you tell me when he’ll be back?”

           “I have no idea. I don’t know where he is.”

           “So he just left you over here?”

           The girl set the bag down, folding her arms. Something about the mannerism made an eerie feeling prickle down the back of Gene’s spine.

“Are you telling me I can’t be here?”

           “No!” Gene pursed his lips. “Look, I don’t care who he’s with. But we’re supposed to go back on tour in a couple weeks and—”

           “I know!”

           “That’s great. So maybe it might be nice to know where he is beforehand.”

           The girl bristled.

           “I told you, I have no idea! I just—can’t you leave me alone?”

           “You’re living in his house, wearing his bathrobe—that wasn’t even your wallet, was it?”

           “Hey!”

           Gene scrambled for it. The girl was fairly tall; he probably only had about five or six inches on her, but she wasn’t quick. He grabbed her shoulder with one hand, then jammed his other hand into the bathrobe’s pocket, starting to tug the wallet out. She clenched his arm, nails digging in roughly, not nearly hard enough for him to drop the wallet.

           “Stop it! Let go of me, you goddamn idiot!”

           She shoved forward, stomping on his foot. Gene couldn’t feel that much of an impact, given the thickness of his boots. He kept a grip on her shoulder as he got the wallet fully in hand, opening it up as she screamed at him.

           “You don’t understand, Gene! It’s not what you’re thinking!”

           Unsurprisingly, Paul’s driver’s license photo was the first thing staring back at him from the see-through plastic card slot. Eisen, Stanley B. (God, the guy still hadn’t legally gotten his name changed) printed across it. Beyond the license was a handful of credit and business cards, as if Gene really needed to thumb through them for any further confirmation.

           “You stole his wallet.”

           “I didn’t steal it!”

           She had a lisp, Gene noticed out of nowhere.

          “Like hell you didn’t. Where is he?”

           “I told you, I don’t—”

           She jerked back abruptly, digging her nails deeper into his arm. He didn’t let go, but his hand shifted, accidentally yanking the bathrobe down at the shoulder. The girl’s eyes got huge. One of her breasts was exposed, which would’ve been plenty distracting enough, under normal circumstances, but for once, Gene’s eyes went to her bare shoulder first.

           More specifically, the rose tattoo on her bare shoulder.

           It wasn’t possible. It had to be a coincidence. He only saw the tattoo for a second at best, before she smacked his hand away and yanked the bathrobe back into place, covering her shoulder.

           It didn’t prove anything. But in a nice, W.A.S.P.y neighborhood like Paul’s, how many chicks had tattoos? And how many would have one like that, a Lyle Tuttle tattoo, when Lyle’s shop was clear across the country?

           She looked pissed-off. Scared, too. Something about the tight, sour way her lips were pressed together seemed weirdly familiar. The way she was acting didn’t add up. She’d called him by his first name on automatic. No deference or starry-eyed behavior. This girl didn’t give a damn about him being a rockstar. Those caustic responses made it come off like—like she really knew him.

That prickly feeling down his spine was only getting worse, even as he tried to dismiss it as impossible. If Gene was right, what he was about to do was incredibly cruel. If he was wrong, he’d just owe Paul Stanley’s latest chick a sincere apology. He wasn’t sure which option was worse.

           But he had to know. He let go of the bathrobe and quickly shoved his hand through the girl’s tangled, curly hair, starting just at the temple, lifting it up to fully expose the right side of her face. The abject horror in her dark brown eyes might have been confirmation all on its own, but the damage was already done. He’d already pushed back enough of her hair to see what he’d only ever been told about before.

“Gene, y-you fucking asshole!”

Not an inch past one wispy sideburn was a stub of cartilage where her right ear should have been.

           He wasn’t dealing with Paul’s girl of the duration. He was dealing with Paul.

[florrickandassociates]

TGF Thoughts: 3x08-- The One Where Kurt Saves Diane

I wrote this over the span of, like, a full year and it is not very interesting. I am posting it simply because I am committed to the idea of writing something about every episode of this series. I recommend that you go check out Evil instead of reading this.

I’m just not intrigued by the clips of news footage about some sort of “Unredacted Unspecified Report” that open this episode.

Diane doesn’t seem to be that interested either: she’s not watching and talks over it. 

More interesting (but, tbh, not actually that interesting to me either, because I’m losing interest in this season) is that Diane gets a letter of warning from a ~mysterious source~. 

Most interesting of all: Diane and Kurt have a normal morning together.

Kurt spots the letter first and opens it. STOP DIANE. THEY KNOW ABOUT THE HACK. So maybe it’s directed at Kurt. Or maybe it’s supposed to say, “Stop, Diane.”

I still haven’t warmed to Diane’s bedroom set, especially because it still feels like Diane lives in her bedroom and her home has no other rooms. 

Joy, Felix Staples has returned. All I have to say about this case is that the day this ep aired, basically what’s happening in this case happened in real life, because… Kings. 

Hello, it’s October now and I suddenly felt like returning to The Good Universe and writing. It’s been a while. 

My memory of this episode/arc is that Diane and Liz just did something uncharacteristically dumb and illegal, and this is the episode where Kurt secretly puts an end to the shenanigans without Diane even knowing. I remember this episode being satisfying, if only because it got rid of the aforementioned dumb and illegal plot. Let’s see how good my memory is. 

Wait why don’t I remember Roger Bart being on this show and why didn’t I note it earlier?! How could I let George The Killer Pharmacist go unmentioned?! 

On that note, how did I not use the opening scene of the season (Diane saying “I’m happy” as an excuse to ramble about how weird it is to experience happiness on a personal level in today’s world?) (I was just watching 3x01.)

I’m actively not watching the case scenes so they don’t kill my drive to actually write this. 

Oh God, I’m going to have to deal with Blum again at some point. I had blocked out his bloviating. I think this is the last of the Blum/Maia free eps? 

The weird Lucca/British actor plot is still happening!!!! I didn’t miss it during all those months in which I wasn’t reminded of it. 

The joke about how these TV lawyers aren’t like other TV lawyers, except they are, was funny the first time. 

Always great to see how Lucca, who is the head of a department at this point, gets called into other cases frequently. Definitely how things work. 

Is it bad that I’m more interested in making a mental list of all the times TGF/TGW have filmed in this little park than this Marissa/Alan Alda scene? 

I can see why this is the episode that made me stop writing these for a bit. So far, this ep is all case and a subplot I don’t care for.

You know what else was funny the first time and has hit a point of diminishing returns? The thing where a main character’s love interest shows up in court and then they get thrown off their game and it’s CUTE FLIRTING!!! Find a new, unique way to signal interest, writers! 

This gag now involves literal gagging. I’m overjoyed. 

Lucca’s monologuing at a toilet about her crush. This plot is cute. It isn’t bad. It is watchable. BUT! I know it’s a novelty, so I’m just not that excited by it or invested in it. It’s not really deepening my understanding of Lucca. 

Lucca picturing everyone in court in their underwear is just unnecessary and honestly not funny??? 

Kurt leaves the warning note out for Diane to see. He confronts her about it and she asks for a drink.

The credits are at 19 minutes in. I do love them. Have any of you watched Evil yet? I watched part of the first episode (I intend to go back to it, I’ve just been busy) and the credits resemble the TGF credits. (Update as of March 2020: I watched all of Evil and you should too.)

Diane tells Kurt about Book Club or #Resistance or whatever I was calling it. Even though Diane doesn’t tell him the full story (mostly for his own protection, and she makes it clear she’s omitting stuff), I do appreciate that Diane and Kurt don’t keep secrets from each other, and if/when they do, they talk about it openly and calmly. I love them. 

(I have blocked out Kurt/Holly almost entirely. I know it’s canon, but I still don’t believe it was anything other than a plot device to motivate some unnecessary drama in the TGW finale. God, that finale was bad. Ghost Will? Kurt cheating? GENEVA and Peter? GHOST WILL? Even the slap, which is one of my favorite parts, is more powerful as a symbol than as an actual plot development, since (1) Alicia betraying Diane is something Pilot!Alicia would’ve done to any friend to protect her family and (2) it stems from the nonsense about Kurt cheating and Peter tampering with evidence. What a letdown of a finale. The Kings are lucky they got to redeem themselves with TGF.)

(As anyone who’s had a one-on-one convo with me about the TGW finale at any point in the last three years will tell you, I will NEVER tire of discussing it, even if it means rehashing the same points over and over and over.)

I forgot about the thing where it wouldn’t stop storming in season 3. 

Don’t have much to say about Kurt devising a plan to help Diane get out of trouble, but I do find it very fun! 

OOOOH this is the episode about censorship that got censored!!! If you haven’t already, do read Emily Nussbaum’s piece about the behind-the-scenes drama of this episode. I thought the “this content has been censored” screen where the short would have been was a joke… but it was actually censored. That may be the most interesting thing about this episode.

I want more character-driven plots. I want more Liz and Lucca. I have nothing to say. 

Book Club still believes the con artist who brought them together is something other than a con artist. Book Club is not that smart for being a collection of very smart people. 

“So the whole group is bullshit?” Liz asks when Diane loops her in. Yes. But also, like, this is what happens when you do illegal shit with a group formed by a literal con artist. Liz may have an excuse for trusting the group (Diane brought her in), but why does DIANE trust them? 

“My life is simple, Diane. I have a son. I have a mortgage. I have my job. And I go from home to work and work to home. So this stuff is, this bullshit intrigue… I’m done. Too much drama,” Liz laments, about a week too late. Where was this last week when Liz was like YES LET’S DO CRIMES? 

One of my problems with the whole Book Club arc is that it makes very little sense that Liz would get involved in the first place. I understand why she would be sympathetic to their cause and willing to look the other way on their methods… if she were watching a news report about them on TV. She’s too practical, and has too much to lose, to get involved with a group like this. 

An NSA nerd is back!! He’s the one warning Diane! 

Okay, picking this back up in March 2020 because *gestures at the world* I have time. Like, I have so much free time I’ve finished 9 books in the last 14 days AND finally made it to the episodes of The Sopranos with JMargs. I began watching The Sopranos in 2017.

As I write this, I have no idea if TGF is coming back on April 9th as planned or not. Unless there’s something in the works for season 4 that can’t possibly be left unfinished or air today, I think they should air whatever they have now. TGF is always timely, and while scenes set in an office are suddenly feeling weird and implausible, they’ll probably play better now than in six months. And we’d all forgive the writers if they had to wrap up the arcs through an animated recap song. 

It’s been a while since I’ve seen the TGF credits so I rewound to watch the credits. I went to 2 minutes into the episode, then remembered… they’re 20 minutes in.

Y’all. They blow up a purse with hand sanitizer in it. Did they predict this?! 

I wrote that preamble and then stopped writing. But now we know that TGF is really coming back on April 9th, which means I have to stop watching The Sopranos and write these things! 

Ah, Felix Staples. I haven’t missed you! 

Case stuff happens. Really riveting episode, this one. (It is an interesting case, though.)

Kurt saving Diane is pretty fun. But I don’t have anything to say about it and to write about it would just to be to give a half-assed play by play… and why?

Oh WOW, Lucca and Downton Abbey guy is still happening?! 

Getting to see Kurt be really competent and caring is the best thing, by far, about the Book Club arc.

Wait, I take that back, Liz’s speech about voter suppression is also pretty high up there-- as long as you ignore the context. 

V excited (!!) to get back to Maia’s bullshit in the next few episodes, not because I want to watch it but because if there’s one thing I’m actually motivated to write about, it’s how the show has handled Maia Rindell. Also, they handle the next few episodes well for her. 

Oh RIGHT Liz tells ChumHum about her dad’s sexual harassment issues! And Adrian and Liz are finally going to tell the press! It may mean losing Neil Gross, though. 

Book Club is over! Wooooooooooooooooooooo! On to more interesting things!!!

Also gone? Downton Abbey guy, who gave an interview about something new and exciting in his life. Lucca thought he was talking about her, and he was talking about some...personality test that sounds like a cult from the way he describes it? AAAAAND I Googled it and yup. It is. What a goofy ending to this arc I didn’t care about. Reminds me of the way the Marilyn arc ended (with a cameo from a celebrity who she was supposedly sleeping with). Glad the actor was so game to poke fun at himself, but is this the best we can do for Lucca? 

Diane thinks she took care of the hack and made it go away. Kurt lets her take the credit. 

The end! 

[pretty-well-funded]

For the prompt thing if this is alright: Dub con with innocent and naive Peter where Tony tricks him into having sex with him all the time because Peter doesn’t know any better then Peter only finds out what they’re really doing when he has sex ed or something at school but then he still returns to Tony because he’s grown to like doing it Tony would just be surprised because Peter would start telling him things like wanting to get filled up so much that he has babies

this went in a slightly different direction than you might have intended, because I have a really hard time imagining Peter being so naive post-puberty (being both gen Z and a super smart kid).  and then I didn’t have the patience to build up all of the brainwashing, so I took a third-party shortcut.  Hopefully it still has the spirit of what you wanted though, lol

*

Tony isn’t the foster dad type.

Ok, well, massive understatement, and widely accepted knowledge considering the reception the press release had gotten, but.  Peter’s different.  And the circumstances are unique ones.

Iron Man wasn’t in the cult-busting business, but when you land in upstate New York to destroy an arms-smuggling operation and discover roughly 100 brainwashed civilians...  Well.  You can’t call yourself a superhero and leave them there.  Not the way they’d been living.

That wouldn’t have resulted in Tony as a legal guardian, not by itself.  But there was something about a small, brown-eyed boy with deft hands and a quick mind, forced to use those assets to invent next-gen weaponry...

It struck a little too close to home.

Peter is special.  He’s a sweet kid, so eager for approval and praise, with a brilliant untrained mind.  The things he’s invented without a day of formal education...well, even Tony’s impressed.  But Peter’s also a little sheltered, a little warped by his special upbringing, and even if he’d had family fit to be guardians, Tony’s not sure that would have been safe.

What Peter knows, what Peter can do...it’s too dangerous to just let him go.  He’s barely fifteen and already on SHIELD’s threat list.  Either Tony took Peter or SHIELD would, and Tony doesn’t trust SHIELD as far as he can throw them, even now that they’re more like a bush baby than an 800-pound gorilla.

So.  Tony has a foster kid.

They’ve settled into somewhat of a routine.  Tony’s days are no longer his own, because Peter’s pretty clingy.  And as JARVIS constantly reminds him, children need structure, especially after their whole world implodes in a crash of red and gold metal.

He can still get work done, thank God, since Peter loves the lab.  But they’re on a pretty strict meal plan to help Peter gain weight, and there’s tutoring to be done (thank you, JARVIS), and Tony is supposed to be modeling this whole “balanced life” thing, so the days of 20 hours straight inventing have gone the way of Tony’s sex life.

Their “free time” should probably consist of more than whatever movie is next on Peter’s pop culture education, but it’s not like Tony has a lot of kid-friendly activities in his repertoire, and Peter’s not so good at being in public yet, anyway.

They’ve got a rhythm, now, and Tony’s almost adjusted to all Peter’s odd quirks.  He thinks they’ve hit all the biggest landmines: the weird diet issues, the endless parade of outrageous beliefs, the guilt over not being allowed to complete his mission....the snuggling.

Tony’s still a little embarrassed about the snuggling.  At least he convinced Peter to save it for movie time, on the couch, and not to crawl into the master bed anymore, but still, it’s...awkward.  The way Peter crawls into his lap like he’s five and not almost grown, clings to Tony like a baby monkey and fidgets in ways that are decidedly...  

Well.  Tony really needs to get laid, because his body misinterprets where all that lap-squirming is headed.

Still, it’s...innocent.  And Peter needs it, touch-starved and lonely now that Tony’s the only one he has.  Tony even thinks it’s kind of cool, when he has some distance from it.  He’s not sure he was EVER allowed to be affectionate with Howard.  For a weapons-hoarding doomsday cult, they didn’t seem to have the kind of toxic masculinity you’d expect.

Tony’s gotten used to the cuddling, and he really thinks they’ve hit all the biggest landmines, until the evening Peter grabs his hand and presses it against his very hard cock.

Tony tries to breathe, somewhat outside his body as his hand is casually used to stimulate a teenager’s cock without his permission. Peter’s eyes are on the movie (which is decidedly not playing a sex scene), but his hips are rocking up into the touch and his ass (which is not a lush, tasty handful, Tony hasn’t noticed) rubs coincidentally against Tony’s not-at-all interested dick.

Peter’s chewing on his bottom lip, eyes half-lidded, color high on his cheeks, and his breath has started to go ragged.  It’s not until he starts to grunt a little that Tony suddenly snaps partway out of it.

It’s a struggle to keep his voice calm, because he knows - he just knows - this is one of those things Pete doesn’t realize is wrong.  “Pete...what are we doing right now, kid?”

Big brown eyes turn away from The Empire Strikes Back and toward Tony.  Then he answers, “Making it go away,” in a matter-of-fact way that says this answer is obvious and just a thing that one naturally does.

Tony’s not sure what his face does in response, but Peter’s no dummy.  His entire body goes still (thank God), and he studies Tony’s face with a puzzled little frown.  

Then the frown slowly drops into a devastated look.  “I’m doing something wrong?”

Tony swallows hard at the sight of those eyes gone glassy with tears.  It’s always painful to pull this rug out from under Peter a little bit at a time.  “It’s...well, it’s.  Not wrong, it’s normal to...  Jesus, kid, I need to know what you think we’re doing, here.”

Peter’s hand releases Tony’s, but before Tony can sigh in relief, the kid is halfway off his lap, on the verge of fleeing in shame.  Tony pulls him back down, shushing, well aware of what his next few days look like if he lets Peter go.  

“Hey, you’re ok.  It’s okay, we’ll deal with whatever it is, I just need more information.  Help me run a diagnostic here, would you?”

“I thought it was normal.”

Peter’s used to knowing, understanding, and every time they have to rewrite the rules of the world as he knows them, it’s...  Hard.  And he beats himself up.  “I know, Pete.  It’s gonna be okay.  Just tell me what you know.  We’ll figure it out just like we always do.”

“It’s just...  Someone’s always helped it go away.”  Peter’s red-faced and avoiding Tony’s gaze now.  Tony’s not even sure he understands it’s about sex - that’s an area where Peter is painfully naive.  He’s probably just this mortified over realizing he’s somehow wrong.

“Helped what go away?” Tony asks, deliberately putting aside ‘someone always helped,’ because you can’t blow up cult leaders twice.

“The...swelling,” Peter mutters, like he’s lacking vocabulary for this thing someone ‘always helps with.’

“Your erection,” Tony tries to clarify, and Peter shrugs like he always does when Tony’s words are different than the ones that he knows.  “Did they tell you what causes an erection, Pete?”

Peter finally looks up and makes eye contact, looking even more confused at the question.  “It just...happens, right?  Like a sneeze.  I mean, it only started the last few years, but...”  Peter’s eyes are keen on Tony’s face.  “Why, what is it?”

“It’s...”  Jesus, Tony is tired.  The thought of trying to answer that question without sending Peter spiraling makes Tony want to lie down for a year.  And, well, at fifteen, erections DO just happen.  “You’re right, it’s a normal bodily function, it’s just one we take care of by ourselves, usually.”

“By myself?”  Peter looks somewhat crestfallen, and Tony’s afraid he can see where this is going, but he has to try.

“Yeah, it’s private, like being naked is a private.” Because that’s one they’ve conquered already, thank Christ.  “Why don’t you duck into the bathroom and help it go away by yourself.”

“Okay.  I’m sorry, Mr. Stark.”

“It’s okay, Peter.  I’m not angry.”

The kid gets off his lap and slinks off to the bathroom and Tony lets his head fall back with a sigh.  Jesus fucking Christ.  

*

Twenty minutes later, Pete’s not back, and Tony just keeps telling himself ‘one more minute, one more minute before I check.’  When he can’t avoid it anymore, he pads quietly to the guest bathroom’s door and listens for a second, heart sinking when he hears Peter quietly crying.

Fuck.  Fuckfuckfuck.  He was afraid of this.

Tony takes a deep breath and knocks.  “Bud?  Everything okay?”

There’s a frantic shuffle for five seconds, then the door opens, revealing Peter’s splotchy face.  “No.  I can’t...I’m not...I can just let it go away by itself.  It will, eventually.”

Tony’s eyes fall to the tent pole in Peter’s pants and winces.  “Is that what you’ve been doing since you got here?  Letting it go away by itself?”

Peter shrugs, which is a yes.  

“I’m guessing it’s pretty painful right now, though, yeah?”

Tony watches Peter clamp down on fresh tears.  “Yeah.”

“Okay,” Tony sighs, and puts an arm around Pete’s shoulders.  “Let’s go sit down and I’ll help.”

It takes some coaxing for Peter to relax in his lap, this time, and it’s a weird, fucked up funhouse mirror of responsible behavior to be soothing a teenage boy to just relax so Tony can rub him off.

“That’s it,” Tony murmurs when Peter starts to thrust against his hand.  “That’s a good boy, just let me help.”

“I’m sorry,” Pete says miserably.  Tony presses a kiss to his forehead.

“Don’t be sorry, nothing’s your fault.  You’re a very good boy, and you’re doing the best that you can.” Peter’s chest gives a hitch, and of course, Tony thinks.  Of course he has a fucking praise kink.  “You make me so happy, Peter.  I couldn’t ask for a sweeter, more brilliant boy in my life.  You deserve to feel good, so just relax and let me help.  I’m happy to help.  There you go, you’re almost done, and you’re so very pretty like this - “

Peter’s fingers have been twisting in Tony’s shirt, kneading like a kitten as he pants, then suddenly they clench as he presses up against Tony’s hand and shudders hard.  His jeans are too thick for Tony to even feel warmth, but the way the kid collapses in a euphoric puddle says all that he needs to know.

Tony reaches up and combs Peter’s hair back from his face, smiling when Peter nuzzles into his hand.

“Pete, why haven’t you asked me to ‘help’ before?”

Peter’s eyes blink sleepily open.  “Well, I didn’t know you very well.  You can’t just ask anyone, right?”

“Right,” Tony says, feeling dazed.  “That makes sense.”

Well, it doesn’t.  Not when the kid doesn’t know that it’s sex.  Except it does; if he thinks it’s like a sneeze...you don’t ask strangers to help blow your nose.  So, there’s that. 

Jesus.  

Pete’s rapidly falling asleep in Tony’s arms, so he doesn’t have time to figure out how to break the news that this is not a sneeze.  Peter’s way too big to pick up when he’s dead weight, and hell to wake up once he’s passed out.  

“Time for bed, kiddo.  Go brush your teeth.”

There’s an adorable grumpy grumble, then the kid’s hauling himself off of Tony’s lap, and disappearing down the hall without so much as a thank you.  Which is good, because Tony shouldn’t be thanked for what he did.  Christ.

It’s okay.  It was just once, and it’s not like the first time Tony’s done weird things for Peter.  He’s not a creep, he doesn’t plan to do it again.  Tomorrow, he’ll sit Peter down, and...  Look, it won’t be a pleasant adjustment, but eventually Peter will have to learn to take care of himself.  

Just like Tony.  A cold shower ought to do the trick.

[deniigi]

There’s a tornado coming towards my town and we’re all huddled in shelters. Got anything lying around to distract me?

I sure fucking do now!

I’ll give you two, here’s the first under the cut. I wrote it today, it’s basically Matthew Murdock’s Steps for How to Make a Family:

How to Make a Family

By Matt Murdock

Step 1. Have a dad.

Step 2. Lose your dad. Bemiserable. Great job, everyone. We’re doing amazing so far.

Step 3. Attempt to find areplacement dad.

Step 4. Fail abysmally.Like, make that shit stunning. Literally ruin your life for the rest of alleternity. Make yourself physically unlovable by all potential foster families,church members, and living humans. Don’t worry if you get tripped up by thisstep, you can repeat this one as many times as it takes for you to learn agoddamn lesson, but be equally warned: you will not learn that goddamn lesson.

Step 5. Go to law schoolbecause fuck it, why the hell not?

Step 6: fall in stupid,hopeless love with your roommate

Step 7: do not account forthe fact that the roommate maybe loves you back. Fuck no. REPRESS. THAT. SHIT.

Step 8. No longer repressthat shit. Accept the roommate. Embrace the roommate. Maybe drunkenly kiss theroommate and then make extraordinarily poor decisions with the roommateinvolving, at least at first, truly horrendous sex on a twin-sized bed.

Step 9. Meet your soulmatein the form of a tiny, angry woman set up to ruin your life by the first faileddad figure.

Step 10. Do not commit murder.

Step 11. Wave goodbye toyour soulmate and sob helplessly on your roommate. Don’t worry. Roomie ain’tgoing anywhere. Cling to this because it is the only thing you’ve got going foryou for the next three years.

Step 12. Have a fuckloadof casual and unhealthy relationships.

Step 13. Graduate.Accidently make a nemesis out of your roommate’s girlfriend who knows more thanhe does and possibly you do that you would do anything to be with the roommate.Including steal him from a perfectly respectable internship with a perfectlyrespectable job offer at the end of it.

Step 14. Set up a lawfirm.

Step 15. Acquire a client.This is family member #2. You will now kill for her. Congratulations.

Step 16. Attempt tosemi-murder some Russians

Step 17. Get found by yourroommate!!

Step 18. Get abandoned byyour roommate!! Well done, everyone, we are back down to one family member.Let’s hope nothing bad happens to them!!

Step 19. Get re-found byyour roommate!! Attempt to make up. Lie a lot about being better and morehonest in future. That’ll show ‘em.

Step 20. Become aterrorist?? Maybe skip this step if possible.

Step 21. Make anintentional nemesis of the Punisher. Congratulations! You have found familymember #3! It doesn’t matter if you don’t fucking want him, he’s yours now,baby!

Step 22. Ruin everyone inyour family’s lives with a botched trial! Break up with the Roommate. Cut tieswith family member #2. Do not fuck her.

Step 23. Re-kindle yoursexual relationship with your soulmate. Oh, by the way, she’s back. We’re goingto call her family member #4 now, ‘cause she’s harder to kill than a fuckingcockroach.

Step 24. Make the mistakeof allowing The Punisher (nemesis) and the soulmate to join forces.

Step 25: Just fuckingmurder your soulmate. Do it, you coward. Yeah, suffer them consequences, youpiece of shit.

Step 26. Get smashed. Getangry. Go out and nigh-eviscerate some folks. Don’t worry, you’ve got a couplemonths for this step/spiral.

Step 27. Trip over theSpider. Menace him. Say it’s his fault. Ignore all apologies and tell theSpider to get and keep the fuck out of your city or else. That’ll fix him.

Step 28. Go on anotherbender. Drink too much. Forget to eat. It’s fine, you’re not alone, you’llalways have the Devil to talk to.

Step 29. Accidently kickthe Spider in the head. Realize now that the Spider is approximately 12 yearsold and you just kicked him in the fucking head. Holy fuck, you fucking disgrace.You fucking child abuser. You are no better from your sensei, not evenan iota.

Step 30. Feel bad.

Step 31. Go on, you ain’tdone yet. I’ll tell you when to fucking stop.

Step 32. Orchestrateanother trip over the Spider. Do it gently this time. Make the same kind offuss but, when his voice does the horrible wavering thing, clear yours andannounce obnoxiously that there’s only one thing to do to stop this and its toteach the Spider how to fight properly.

Congratulations! You have foundfamily member #5! Aw, he’s so happy. Oh wow, he’s still talking.

Jesus fuck. He’s stilltalking.

Step 33. Meet Deadpool.Make tracks. You are an idiot, but not that kind of idiot.

Step 34. Meet Deadpool.Nearly die. Admit that Deadpool might have just saved your goddamn life.Reflect. Reflect. Reflect.

Step 35. Accidently set afoot outside HK and find yourself in the crossfire between a load of morons,Deadpool and the Spider. Do what you do best. Bask in the awe and approval ofthe giant man and the Spider afterwards.

Step 36. Get charmed ontoa team.

Wait. What?

Step 37.  Investigate: why the fuck is the Spidercrying? Who has made the Spider so distraught? He is 12. 15, whatever. Theymust die, whoever they are.

Eliminate the threat. Maybe, sortof, kind of, give away your identity. It’s fine, it’s a mutual exchange. Hisname’s Peter Parker.

Step 38. Alright, a bigstep made up of many little ones, so stick with me. In the absence of reliablesupervision, make shit decisions. Drink too much. Work too much. Sleep never. FuckDeadpool. Yeah, go on. We all knew it was going to happen with your goddamntrack record, pal. Kind of make up with the Roommate and family member #2. Moreor less get back onto speaking terms with them. Hire an office coordinator andan intern for the summer. But most importantly, meet a tiny angry woman with ascarf. Guess what! She’s family member #6. Hey, y’all are mutual functionalalcoholics. Drink to that, babes.

Step 39. Fuck, there’smore. Okay, well. You’ve always wanted a weird brother. Two weird brothers. Oneweird brother and one big, grumpy brother. Oh, yeah. That’s fine. That’s cool.Let’s call them family members #7 and #8.

Damn, it’s getting kind ofcrowded in here.

Step 40. Hey, so. Dunno ifyou’ve noticed with all the bad decision-making things going on, but Deadpool justwent on a bender with you and brought you home at the end of it. He’s kind ofcool with your whole deal with the Roommate. So, that kind of makes him yourbiggest, weirdest family member. So, welcome #9 to the family.

Step 41. THE SOULMATE ISBACK. Girl, did we miss you!! Yeah, totally go out with her to the bottom of apit. That’s safe.

Step 42. Die.

Step 43. Wake up. That’sright, sleeping beauty. Death is still too kind for the likes of you. Hey, bythe way, this lady? You know her and guess what??? She’s been your fuckin’ momthis whole damn time. Congrats, you’ve found family member generation 1, #2.But now, since you are a fucking self-absorbed, suicidal piece of shit, let’scall her family member #10. Or hell, maybe family member #1, since you’ve lostliterally everything you’ve ever worked for and which ever mattered to you.Hell, yeah. Since you’re gonna die like an idiot soon anyways, why the fuck notstart over?

Hello family member #1. Nice tofinally make your acquaintance. Give us a few days to shake off the shock andwe’ll be right with you.

Step 44. Get the fuck backon the rails. Say thank you and I’m sorry to your goddamn mother, for fuck’ssake, she’s been here the whole damn time.

Step 45. Wake the fuck upand appreciate that the Spider and Deadpool and Jessica and Danny and Luke wereall worried as fuck about you. Feel ashamed for that. Bad dog, no biscuit.

Step 46. Celebrate acouple holidays with the guys.

Step 47. Nearly lose thekid, once to Stark, then once to the city.

That’s your baby brother. Yeah,it’s normal to not stop shaking sometimes.

Step 48. The Roommateloves you, you asshole. He and family member #2 want to start up a new firm.Yeah, it’s pretty great, but don’t cry though, ya moron. People are around.

Step 49. Wake up onemorning and realize that your family looks like the following:

Slightly-estrangedbut well-meaning mother

Best friend withthe great hair and a nose for trouble

Frank fuckingCastle (whether you want him or not)

A highlyfunctional alcoholic who thinks you’re funny but won’t admit it

The strangelittle cult-brother

The strangecult-brother’s girlfriend

Your nursefriend who you fucking failed to appreciate earlier, you shithead

The big,sometimes grumpy bullet-proof brother

Your secretary

A spider

The Spider’s mom

The Spider’sbest friend

The Spider’sother best friend/your intern

The merc with amouth

His cat

Your soulmate

Yourroommate/best friend/life partner

And your dad, youfucking moron, he’s been with you in your heart this whole time.

Step 50. Rinse and repeatthe relevant/applicable steps from 1 to 49 for those persons who seem more orless worth it for the foreseeable future.

[slapshot-to-the-heart]

For the Love of Queens

Totally random one-off idea I’ve had floating around for a few months, so bear with me, haha! Only planning for it to be a one-part, but please tell me what y’all thing! 

For the Love of Queens

Late August, 2018

After the snap, the last thing Peter wanted to do was to get himself in trouble again. He had had his fun already, been to more planets than 99.9998% of the population— if you rounded to the fourth decimal, he did the math— and had seen more tragedy than anyone should ever have to experience. But he wasn’t willing to hang up the suit. He couldn’t. His city still needed him, his people still needed him, and as much as he sometimes wanted to throw in the towel, he couldn’t. He had an obligation to help wherever and whenever he could, and that commitment was one he didn’t take lightly. If he wasn’t going to protect Delmar’s bodega, and that kid who had his bike stolen, and that nice Dominican lady who bought him a churro, who would? Spider-Man wasn’t gone, but he needed to go back to his roots, back to where he came from. Back to being a friendly neighborhood Spider-Man. Back to Queens.

So, almost like someone had spun a Time-Turner back to 2017, Peter was sitting on the edge of a ten-story building a few blocks from his apartment, a #5 in one hand and his phone in the other. But the difference was, this time, he wasn’t constantly texting Happy, itching for an assignment, for a chance to prove himself. He was scrolling through a Buzzfeed article entitled “46 Memes Guaranteed to Butter Your Eggroll.” He needed new material for the Midtown High Instagram page that he, Ned, and MJ ran. Now that his weekends weren’t packed full of a potentially universe-ending sojourn to Titan, he had a little more spare time to actually, you know, be a kid for once. He bookmarked the page, finished off the churro, and zipped his phone into one of his suit pockets. Telling Tony he wanted to take a step back from the Avengers, having that conversation with him, was one of the hardest things Peter had ever had to do. There was nothing he hated more than disappointing people. Compounding that with the fact that Tony was probably the closest thing he had to a dad since Ben died, and Peter was practically shaking when he told him he wanted to ease up on missions. Tony was strangely understanding about the whole thing, even though Peter wasn’t too sure why he expected otherwise, and pulled him into a hug, telling him to “do what you need to do, kid.” And as soon as Petter reassured him that he did want to keep working with him, just maybe make the “Stark internship” less Avenging and more STEM-y, he nodded, made a thirty-second phone call to Pepper, and told him to show up Monday after school.

So Peter wasn't less busy than normal, not by a long shot. Between school, homework, his actual internship, and the patrols— decathalon season hadn’t started yet, thank God— his schedule was more packed than ever. But he was also happier than he’d ever been, and more fulfilled than he could ever remember.

As Peter swung down from the ledge, dropping down to the street below, he noticed something odd. Not concerning, just out of the norm. Three people, young people, in T-shirts with clipboards, pens, and stacks of what was either flyers or restaurant menus, Peter couldn’t really tell. They weren’t with Greenpeace, or Amnesty, or the ASPCA, judging from the lack of logos on their clothing, so he was more than a little confused. Keeping a curious eye on them from his hiding place behind a lamppost, he waited a few minutes for the group to reach the next block. They had tucked some kind of a pamphlet-postcard-type-thing into the frame of Glen’s Barber Shop, and after a moment to make sure the coast was clear, Peter looked for a moment, grabbed it, and slid it into a pocket.

At about half past eleven, Peter was back on the fire escape outside of his Queens bedroom. After May had discovered his, er, “extracurricular” activities, she left his windows open at night, contingent on his promise that he’d be back by midnight and kept his GPS location on in case anything went amiss. She knew that he was a good kid, that his heart was in the right place, and at his core, he just wanted to help people. And what kind of person would she be if she told Peter, who for all intents and purposes was her kid by this point, that he couldn’t be a good person?

He threw his backpack on the floor, wincing when he heard the telltale “clang” of his water bottle, and unzipped his suit, folding it haphazardly and placing it back into its designated box. The pamphlet fluttered out of his pocket,and Peter leaned down to pick it up, one arm still wrestling to pull his favorite sleep shirt over his head. He originally tried to smooth out the creases, quickly abandoning his efforts, and sat on his bed. Peter knew that there was an election in a few months, he knew he absolutely detested Donald Trump, and he knew that he was mad as hell that he couldn’t vote. But that had caused some amount of complacency with him; if he couldn’t actually cast a ballot for anyone, what use was it knowing who was running or what was on the news if all it seemed was ever on was old people yelling at each other? It wasn’t like Peter didn’t care about the issues; that couldn’t be further from the truth. If he didn’t end up going into crime-fighting full-time after high school, what he really wanted to do was go into environmental engineering and sustainable development. He’d seen all of the heartache and pain that gun violence had brought the city and people he loved, so he knew how important reasonable gun control policy was. And despite all of New York City’s espoused progressive values, Peter’s AP Spanish teacher had come to school with red-rimmed eyes one day, telling the class that him and his husband had just been turned down by another adoption agency for being gay. And college. College was a big one. Tony had repeatedly offered to set him up at MIT— “Think of it like a scholarship,” he had said,— but Peter didn’t want to feel like he was getting anything handed to him that he hadn’t earned. May didn’t make too much either, and while they could certainly live off of her salary from the hospital and Uncle Ben’s life insurance for a while, hundreds of thousands of dollars in student loans were a different story.

Peter flipped the pamphlet around, scanning the front cover. Dignified healthcare. He liked that. Tuition-free higher education. He really liked that. Quality employment. A $15 minimum wage in New York City was great, but still didn’t make ends meet for some people. Justice for all. Sounds about right, Peter thought. Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez, Democrat for Congress NY-14. He’d have to look her up.

Half an hour later, Peter yawned as he finally closed his laptop from her campaign website, remarkably tired and also pretty sure he had signed up for a mailing list at some point. It was almost one, and he needed to get to bed. Research could wait until morning.

It was a block day, so after his calculus class had let out, Peter grabbed his lunch from the locker and walked over to the cafeteria, meeting Ned and MJ at their usual table.

“Sup,” Ned said, in between waffle fries.

Peter looked at him quizcally. “Since when do you say ‘sup?’”

He shrugged. “It’s a new thing I’m trying out. Doesn’t work?”

“Not by a long shot.”

MJ snorted. “You guys are a couple of losers, you know that?”

“And you’re not?” Ned asked.

She tilted her head. “The thing is,” she said, pausing, “I already knew that, and I’ve accepted it. It’s only when you really come to terms with yourself and who you are that you’re able to move on and develop. So what if I’m a little bit of  loser?”

Peter shook his head, trying to hold back a snort. “Hey guys, want to hear something weird that happened to me yesterday?”

“I’m always up for weird,” Ned responded.

“So, I was on patrol, and these people were walking around. And at first I thought they were like from the ASPCA or something, you know how they’re always around here?” They nodded. “But anyways, they weren’t, and I picked up one of the flyers they left by Glen’s, the barber shop, and I got to reading, and—”

“Oh, God, Peter joined a cult,” Ned said, panicking.

Peter shook his head, reaching down into his backpack to retrieve the pamphlet. “No, no, I promise it’s not a cult. I guess it was people campaigning for the election, what’s it called, canvassing? Well, it’s people canvassing for this woman running for Congress—”

“AOC?” MJ asked, interrupting.

“Huh?”

“AOC. Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez. That who you’re talking about?”

His eyebrows furrowed. “Yeah, how did you know?”

The side of her mouth twitched. “I’ve been walking for her since the summer. You know how I’ve been busy on my weekends now?” Peter and Ned nodded. “I’m heading up her youth volunteering. Outreach mostly, getting high schoolers to understand that they deserve to have a say in who’s elected to represent us. Getting them to campaign for someone who actually believes that we all deserve a fair chance. To campaign for someone like them. A young person who’s a woman of color, who didn’t come from money, who cares.”

“Geez, MJ, why don’t you run yourself?” Peter asked, only half-joking.

“I mean,” she started, grabbing the spare hairband from her wrist and pulling her hair into a ponytail, “obviously I’m too young, but I’m not even sure if I’d want to be the kind of public face that elected officials are. I’d rather be the one calling the shots from behind the scenes, the guy in the chair, if you will,” MJ added, nodding towards Ned.

“Wait, I’m still confused. So who’s she?” Ned asked, looking in between Peter and MJ.

Peter slid the pamphlet over to his side of the table while MJ grinned. “Now, let me tell you.”

Ten minutes and two online forms later, MJ had signed both Peter and Ned up for canvassing on Saturday. “I know you’ve got your ‘Stark thing,’” she had said, using air quotes, “and your actual Stark thing, so I put you down for the morning. You said you’re free then, right?”

Peter nodded. “I don’t have to be at Tony’s until what, like 2 or something? Plenty of time.”

“Great, and Ned?”

Ned tilted his head, in that low-key, laidback way of his. “Hey, you just tell me what you need and I’m there, MJ. I trust your judgement. You say she’s the real deal?”

MJ nodded. “She is. I’ve met her, and I like to pride myself on having what’s probably the best bullshit detector of anyone I’ve ever met.”

“Then I’m in.”

So Saturday afternoon found Ned, Peter, and MJ crammed into a small and packed but bright office in the north side of Queens, listening to someone who Peter’s pretty sure introduced themself as AOC’s campaign manager. Maybe deputy campaign manager? Peter wasn’t too sure, he didn’t know how these things usually went. But she was standing on a desk, which was cool.

“You need to make sure you’re able to ask for their support, see who they’re supporting, and tell them why you support Alexandria. This campaign is going to be won by people making connections and ensuring that everyone’s voice is heard and everyone feels like they are listened to. Because she’s running to represent the entire New York 14th, not only the ones who will vote for her. And I know it might seem tempting, but please, please make sure that you remain cordial to everyone, even if they say they’re voting for the other guy or they think her policies are crap. Stay calm, thank them for their time, and move on. This campaign is already an uphill battle, and we don’t need anything else stacked against us.” She finished her speech with a slight nod of her head. “Can I have all of our regular volunteers or field staff raise their hands?” About fifteen people in the group of thirty-five or so raised their hands. “Alright, anyone who’s new or more comfortable with someone more experienced, grab a partner or two and get into groups of two or three. Javier over there,” she pointed to a young man by the door, who was precariously holding stacks of folders in one hand, “has the district maps and lists of all the houses everyone will be going to, so go see him for that. One per group.” She was about to step down, but wheeled around and raised her voice again. “Oh, and one more thing��” she added, “Alexandria will be stopping in the office around noonish after a town hall she’s hosting, so be sure to swing back by if you haven’t met her. Fair warning, she’s a hugger.”

MJ nudged Peter with her shoulder. “You ready?”

He grinned. “Oh, hell yeah I am.”

[docholligay]

Hereditary

This post is brought to you @skylineofspace

I feel like anyone who walks away from the first watching of Hereditary not going, “What the fuck?” was not actually trying to engage with the ideas the movie puts forth.

But right off, let me explain my process for reviewing/talking about a movie I have not seen as an independent commission. This is my first independent movie commission, and so I didn’t really know what my process would be before this. NOW I KNOW. I watch the movie four times.

First, I watch the movie just like anyone else would, no notes, no nothing. The second time, I watch it take short notes on themes and ideas the movie is putting forth, supports and detractions from those ideas, symbols, motifs, etc. The third time, I watch it while going back over my notes, adding to them or noting where I’ve gone wrong. The fourth time I watch it while working on the actual meat of the post.

So, 2,000 words on Hereditary. Of course, these are my feelings and my feelings alone, and you are in no way obligated to engage with these ideas in the same way I do. This is a semi-spicy take here at the bottom and it’s perfectly reasonable you may not read the film the same way. Obviously, there are massive spoilers for this movie.

As a horror movie, without even going into the deeper questions put forth by the movie, some of which I think are more successful than others, it’s very well done. I was surprised, when I read some rotten tomatoes after watching this the last time, to find that while critics had sided with me on it being a wonderful horror movie that relies on actual creeping fear and dramatic tension instead of jump scares, the hoi polloi had not really taken to the movie.

Maybe I’m just that dramatically out of touch with people’s preferences.

But for me, the horror in the movie is suitably horrifying, the dark and creeping feeling that something is very off, without being able to quite put a finger on it. It wasn’t until my second viewing of the movie that I even realized Charlie had been possessed since she was a baby, that she had been “given” to her grandmother in a way far beyond I took the throwaway line for. The soundtrack is chilling without playing too deeply into horror tropes so as to be cheesy, the lighting never really gets into the “horror movie lighting” even when it is dark. The scene where Charlie’s voice comes out of her mother is brilliantly shot, harried, and terrifying. The movie never is trying to trick you, and telegraphs many of the most important moments within it. Charlie’s actress does a wonderful job of making her feel otherworldly and almost unlikeable, without without ever tripping into “Just kill the kid!” territory.

And then, the fantastic foreshadowing. The scene with Peter in the classroom asks a question that we will be forced to ask ourselves later in the movie: “If the characters are bound by fate, and there was never anything they could do, does that make it more tragic, or less tragic?” The movie seems to answer itself within the scene, offering up both sides (weakly), but ultimately seeming to side with the idea that it’s more tragic, giving a girl in the scene, who speaks directly after Peter is called upon, this idea in the dialogue about hopelessness in a machine while keeping the camera firmly stuck on Peter. From the get-go it makes no illusions that these characters can escape the fates put before them. It’s like a better written Final Destination.

You can’t talk about the foreshadowing without talking about the beheadings, which I am still not certain I loved in carriage, though I love it in concept. Charlie being the one who cuts off the head of the bird, because she’s already the demon king, and this is the way that all the women are going to removed from the line of succession to make way to inhabit a man. (But we’ll get into that later)

In all, very successful as a horror story and as a movie, in my opinion.

But It Follows was amazing and also people didn’t like it, so I’m used to people being wrong.

Thematically, the movie toys with two ideas, to my mind: Mental illness as possession/inheritance, and the ways in which women are destroyed to elevate men.

I’ll start with the idea of mental illness throughout the movie, because I think that’s the slightly weaker position. Obviously, you have *the mom’s entire family history of mental illness, with her mother having DID, and so literally more than one person in the same body. Almost like possession. Her father starved himself to death, in the way the more than one high-profile possession case is said to actually have caused death. Her brother a schizophrenic with “people inside of him.” . All of these carry with them this same theme of possession as mental illness, or mental illness as possession, inseparable from each other. In a movie about the literal rise of a demon king (so the end seems to suggest) that theme of possession is impossible for me to ignore.

At the end of it all, this cult of Paimon is passed down, is hereditary, the same way Annie fears that mental illness might be passed down to her through her family. And, in that vein, there is the dollhouse, the work and fixation of Annie, how she externalizes the things she sees in her life and holds them at a distance. How she writes the stories as she sees them in her mind, and how, within that workshop space, that space where she holds her thoughts about her life, THAT is the first place that she senses her mother, than she feels preyed upon. That she hears things. That space where things should be real. And the question is, is what is happening to Annie real? Or is she imagining it all? Is she losing time? (I take the tack that it IS real, but those are my own preferences and biases and I get the opposite argument is also pretty defensible)

And then there’s the constant string and question throughout all of Charlie’s presence in the movie. Is she a weird kid, or is she possessed? And where is the line there? How much of Charlie’s oddness is Charlie herself, and how much is that she is the vessel for Paimon? The ending seems to suggest that Charlie IS Paimon. When something like that is so much a part of you, is there a line? Is it different for different people? How much of Annie wanting her to be normal is Annie wanting things for Charlie? How much is wanting things for herself?

Trying this into something I’ll talk about right below, Annie wanted to kill her children. She doused them in paint thinner and lit a match. The first time you watch this, or the first time I did, you think, well, she’s ill or she’s possessed, because when I watched this movie for the first time, this theme and theory was what I was taking away from the whole thing. But now, my thoughts are that her sin was that she wanted to kill her son as well. Her sin was that she wanted to kill the one who could rise to being Paimon. Maybe she was trying to save the family, Maybe the world.

My second and favorite read on the whole situation is the way that women are forced to be destroyed in order to elevate men. The demon king can never rise in a woman, for whatever reason, and mostly, to human beings named Doc who are me, this is because they’re trying to do something, sometimes a bit clumsily, with the idea that women are never allowed these positions of power, so often held down for reasons that seem foolish at best. There’s a couple spots where my theory isn’t something I’m 100% happy with, but WE MAKE DO.

And Charlie is given to the demon king, as a baby. Before she has any say in the matter. Her mother gives her as a sacrifice, in a way that she never did her son. Her son was protected. Her daughter was given into the mouth of hell. Even outside of her not knowing about the demonic stuff itself (And did she not know? REALLY? I’ve seen this four times and still can’t come down on a firm answer, having argued it this way and that several times), her mother was a woman with severe mental health issues that she didn’t trust, and yet allowed her full access to Charlie. She was a disposable child.

And Charlie tells her mother that her grandmother wanted her to be a boy, and Annie doesn’t listen. Annie tells her that she was a tomboy when she was a kid too, but that’s not what Charlie said. Not “I wish I was a boy” or “I like boy’s things” or any shade of that. SHE wanted me to be a boy, and Annie never for a moment asks why she thinks that or challenges that in any way. Charlie had to be a boy to be the vessel of all the things the grandmother wants for their life. It could never be passed down to a woman, for riches do not come that way,and Paimon will bring them riches. (Riches to the conjurer, riches to the woman who makes way for the king through a line of other women.) Ellen could be queen, she could carry the demon, but she could never rule.

From the beginning, Charlie’s life does not matter, because Charlie is a girl, and Paimon has to be “freed from the vessel” because that’s all Charlie could ever be. Even Charlie herself seems to accept this, in the very beginning, when her father comes to get her, after a night in the treehouse where he tells her she could get pneumonia, she goes, “That’s okay.” Despite having an incredibly serious nut allergy, she neither inquires about nuts in the cake or anything, nor has an Epipen. Charlie, or Paimon who lives within Charlie (though, again are they even separable?) seems to be comfortable with courting death, or at least not actively avoiding it, seeking to be elevated by a new, male body.

“Our sacrifice will pale next to the rewards” writes the grandmother, in a note left to Annie. And indeed, they do sacrifice. Annie goes through the wild pain of losing Charlie, the pain of being possessed by Charlie/Paimon as Paimon searches for a male host, the ONLY host that can allow him to take reign.

Annie is the woman who tries, tries to break away from Peter, away from this system that she sees coming out, away from him becoming the demon king, away from her small boy turning into a BAD MAN from a system, a machine, that he can’t stop. She wants to set him on fire as a child, she tries to give herself a miscarriage, and when he screams “Why did you try to kill me?” in tears, she goes, “I didn’t, I wanted to save you.” Wanted to save him from what he was to become, what he had to become.

But she can’t save him, even as she begs her husband to set the book on fire and kill her, to save Peter. And her husband never believes her, about any of the things she’s experiencing, not for one moment.  She can only end up being in thrall to him, possessed by this same machine. Annie, eyes laser-focused on Peter, cuts her own head off. There might have been a million ways for these women to die, but it is always the head that is removed, the sense of all thought and personality and logic, their VOICE, it has to be removed to make way for a man to keep his, and to be allowed to rule.

And Peter? I think the most telling part of the entire thing is when Peter takes Charlie to that party, and she eats nuts, and she is decapitated. The whole thing was an avoidable tragedy but a mistake, a tragedy. But it is his actions AFTER that really speak to the idea I’m going after here. He stops, for a moment, and then wordlessly drives home, away from the scene. He tells no one what he’s done, despite the fact that it could never remain a secret. He goes home, and he goes to bed, and he doesn’t take responsibility for what he’s done. He feels like he can walk away from the situation, like its okay that he’s forcing his mother into the situation of finding her daughter’s headless body, so long as he doesn’t have to turn around, so long as he doesn’t have to face what he’s done. And Annie calls him on this, that he has refused to take responsibility for all of this, that he has blankly and blearily drifted through this whole thing, and it’s such a powerful moment, especially now for me, where so many men have done so much, and we are all just having our Annie moment. And Peter IMMEDIATELY makes it her fault, which, hm, also sounds familiar to a lot of women right now. Peter only suffers at the very close of it all, as he becomes, but still retaining his head, his voice, because while a woman cannot be become, he can.

And what do we come to, at the end of it all? Headless, voiceless women, bowing to a man who is but a child until the moment he is king.

All in all, a great horror movie, and one that offers a lot in the way of “literary merit.” I don’t think I’ll ever be totally satisfied with any read I ever have on this movie, but that’s okay to me largely--I like the pulling out the threads of it, and I really enjoyed the experience of having something that gave me a lot to chew on for awhile.

[therealkn]

David’s Resolution - Day 5

Day 5 (January 5, 2019)

The Chronicles of Riddick (2004)

“In normal times, evil would be fought with good. But in times like these... well... it should be fought by another kind of evil.”

Usually when a person makes a sequel to a movie, they’re inclined to do something different to make it stand out from its predecessor and avoid simply rehashing it. One popular way of doing this is the “actionized sequel”, which is self-explanatory. If you want specific examples, there’s Aliens to Alien, Terminator 2 to The Terminator, the Mad Max and Rambo franchises (both of which are more well-known for the second films than the first)... the list goes on. But hey, Aliens and Terminator 2 were really good, so it shows that going this route can work and produce really good films. Aliens and Terminator 2 are considered to be not only just as good as their predecessors, but perhaps even better, and often make lists of the best sequels and best sci-fi movies of all time.

And then we have The Chronicles of Riddick. Pitch Black, its predecessor, was a sci-fi horror film that owed a fair bit to Alien and which was somewhat harder science fiction; the most out-there thing in that movie were Riddick’s eyeshine and the alien creatures on the planet. Chronicles, on the other hand, is like if somebody got their Star Wars into your Warhammer 40,000, going for low fantasy science-fiction that deals in a softer sci-fi setting, bordering on fantasy thanks to its antagonists. It was naturally going to be different by design, since this was taking one of the characters from Pitch Black and giving him his own movie.

Universal made a fairly big deal out of this movie back then. Not only was there this bigger-budgeted, action-packed sequel, there were two notable pieces of tie-in material released around that time. One was the direct-to-video animated film The Chronicles of Riddick: Dark Fury, which was directed by Peter Chung of Æon Flux fame and directly followed Pitch Black, helping establish some things that would be seen in this movie. And the other was the video game The Chronicles of Riddick: Escape from Butcher Bay, a prequel to Pitch Black that, among other things, established how Riddick got his eyeshine, and is widely praised as one of the best movie-licensed games of all time.

Sucks that the film didn’t do that well in the box office though. That’s never a good sign.

The movie establishes how different it is from Pitch Black right from the word “go”. It begins with a prologue establishing the film’s villains, the Necromongers: a fanatical cult of death-worshippers who themselves are in a kind of undeath where pain is not part of their vocabulary. Led by the Lord Marshal (Colm Feore), a “holy half-dead” with superhuman speed and strength and the ability to take your soul like he’s Shang Tsung from Mortal Kombat, the Necromongers are driven to kill the entire universe while also converting as many as they can to their cause, which is “salvation” through a constellation of dark worlds known as the “UnderVerse”, which sounds a bit like someone’s attempt at making a cinematic universe in the wake of Marvel’s own universe.

How does Riddick factor into this? Well, this film takes place five years after Pitch Black, and Riddick (played once again by Vin Diesel, who was also one of the film’s producers), has been in a self-imposed exile in the hopes of avoiding mercenaries who are out for the price on his head. The beginning of the movie shows that this isn’t working and after kicking the asses of a mercenary crew that tracked him onto an ice planet, he finds that the price on his head was by Imam (Keith David, long may he reign), one of the people he saved back in the previous movie. But as it turns out, this was just so he could meet with Aereon, a wind elemental played by Judi Dench, who explains that Riddick may be a “Furyan”, part of an all-but-extinct warrior race from another planet, and that he may be key to stopping the Necromongers. Riddick isn’t interested because, well, he’s not the kind of guy to be a hero. But one way or another, we know he’s gonna wreck the Necromongers’ shit and it will be glorious. And it is.

On a technical level, the movie is weak in some areas. Some of the writing is a bit lacking, with some characters feeling a bit stock. Jack, now calling herself Kyra and played by a different actress because of studio shenanigans (at least they got the original actress back to voice the character in Dark Fury), seems like someone who’s trying to be a badass edgelord and even goes “I hate not being the bad guys!” Cool your heels, Edgy McEdgerson III, Esq., we get it, you’re trying to be badass and you are badass but... stop that please. Also, some of the CGI is not the best (in fact, weird CGI stuff is a thing in all the Riddick movies, even the 2013 one), and there are some weird editing things in both of the movies that make them feel like they’re trying to be stylish like a music video. Sometimes it works, sometimes not really.

But is it fun to watch? Fuck yeah it is. It’s not the best on a technical level but fuck it, it’s a fun movie to watch, and if it’s enjoyable enough, we’re willing to look. The action sequences are pretty cool, though the editing can be slightly wonky, and it’s cool to see Riddick fight like hell and utterly devastate anything he fights. We also get to see more of his cunning and intellect as well, seeing him plan how to escape prison or silently taking out mercs one by one like he’s Batman.

There’s also some cool sci-fi stuff that feels like a natural expansion of the universe of Pitch Black. New planets are shown like Helion Prime, a Mecca planet that is the home of Imam and the latest target of the Necromongers’ crusade; and Crematoria, home of one of the few “triple-max” prisons and where half the planet is scorching hot while the other half is too frigid for anything to live. The Necromongers themselves are awesome, with imposing designs and appearances and carry this sense of being an overwhelming force that you simply can’t stop, no matter how you try. Some of their stuff is overly-designed, but it fits them well enough and makes them intimidating.

Aside from Vin Diesel, who gets to show off more of Riddick being a win, the other actors are good too. Colm Feore’s High Marshal is someone who does command respect and authority and dear God he just ripped that man’s soul out of his body, how does he even. Karl Urban, fresh off the Lord of the Rings trilogy, plays the Necromonger commander Vaako, with a hairstyle that’s like a mohawk with dreadlocks and who does a pretty good with his character as a fervent devotee to the Necromonger way and who also aspires to lead them, with Thandie Newton serving as his Lady Macbeth to scheme and plot behind the Lord Marshal’s back. Nick Chinlund as the mercenary Toombs is also fun, coming off like a fusion of Ron Perlman and Dean Ambrose in his appearance and performance and pretty entertaining to watch in his one-dimensional scumbaggery. And Judi Dench goes without saying because she is always a win.

And like Pitch Black, there is an unrated director’s cut. In fact, all the Riddick movies have unrated director’s cuts, but unlike Pitch Black, this one actually DOES qualify as unrated since the stuff that’s cut was more suggestive, violent, etc. The additional content not only includes more violence and swears, it also has more character stuff, including an alternate ending to the Crematoria battle between Riddick and the Necromongers that is simultaneously more goofy and more fleshed-out.

I recommend this movie if you’re into cool sci-fi/action movies, or if you want to see Vin Diesel be badass. Or if you’re like me and you just want fun action movies. Or if you want to see Karl Urban be awesome after Lord of the Rings but before Dredd. He’s good in this movie.

Next time: Riddick meets Æon Flux. Not literally.

[thisdiscontentedwinter]

1/2 John Stilinski is basically John Bender // Now I keep thinking about "You want to see something funny? You go visit John in five years. You'll see how goddamned funny he is." And the thing is Vice principal Argent (who else?) was wrong, cause 5 years later? John just finished the academy, he's a veteran (and about to marry his dreamgirl), and the others? Deaton is studying to become a vet (always been smart), Natalie is dating lawstudent David Whittemore of THE BH Whittemores (so much for

2/2 not becoming like their parents), Finstock just had his career ending accident (he was going places!), Talia has build this hippy commune (the town counsel doesn’t like it but they’re scared of Talia), Deaton is rumored to regularly visit (as is Finstock), as fot VP Argent? he left town abruptly after his son was caught with little Petey Hale in lovers lane (Claudia wrote him that), so out of all of them John has it made (maybe except Deaton, but he’s part of a cult so?), who’s laughing now?

Submission #2: 

You can ignore this if you want to, I just had to get it out of my system] Oh man this Breakfast Club AU doesn’t leave me alone, because if Gerard is the VP and Talia is still a wolf it makes total sense that he would give her detention “just cause” and Talia can’t *say* anything and just goes and oh Gerards face when he comes back years later and that little shit that asked if he wore Barry Manilows clothes is now the “Sheriff” and he can’t touch him anymore but he can touch the little shit in his basement who is just as cocky as his dad was and all that rage just comes out! and Deaton, oh boy, Deaton had a front seat to Talia falling for Bobby! he may never thought he would “get” Natalie but Talia was just an outsider like him and she picked Bobby! even tho Deaton is smart and figures out *what* she is and learns to become *her* emissary she stil continues to pick Bobby, Bobby with the drinking problem and years later there’s Derek who everybody says looks like Talia but Deaton only sees Bobby, Derek is the last Hale and Deaton is supposed to help Bobby’s kid? (I think I just made Deaton Snape lol) and Finstock? Bobby probably doesn’t even know he’s Derek’s dad, he asked once when Talia was pregnant with Laura and never asked again, and he’s been sober for 15 years because that was the last time Talia allowed him to be around the kids and if he’d only been around when the fire started, that’s why he tries to protect all his students now, oh and Peter, Peter never hurt Bobby because Bobby was his hero! the basketball star who “dated” his weird sister, Peter probably started with basketball because of Bobby (and later his nephew was really talented in that sport hmm) and of course Natalie tried to help Bobby when they had that plague at school, of course she knew that Bobby was recovering alcoholic, Bobby once tackled John to the ground for her, oh and John and Natalie suddenly becomes a tale of bad timing, everyone knows John and Claudia were *it* but for brief minute of time it looked like John and Natalie could be *it*, but then both were married and then parents and then her marriage was falling apart and he was a widowed, (and John’s face when a 8 year old Stiles decides he going to marry Lydia Martin, talk about history repeating) and now it’s cute that his first date is with Natalie (normally I’m all for Melissa/Sheriff but this just got cute), maybe he even kept the old diamond earing and just when they think “maybe this time” surprise chimera attack! and I totally forgot to include either McCall or Delgado, would it be racist if Melissas Dad was the janitor? who was once an honor student but didn’t get a job anywhere else and is so proud when his mija becomes a nurse and marries an FBI agent? [Sorry this has gotten away from me I had more thoughts than I thought]

I’m putting together the Breakfast Club/Teen wolf adults AU asks! 

I think someone needs to write this, but only if we all agree to call in Breakfast Wolves! 

[evanpeterssource]

American Horror Story: Evan Peters on the latest plot twist and the 'terrifying' remainder of Cult.

This week, AHS: Cult viewers received some pivotal information about cult leader Kai (Evan Peters): his parents are basically rotting in their upstairs bedroom and his brother is psychiatrist Dr. Vincent (Cheyenne Jackson). Kai also had one of his most purely terrifying moments in this hour when he pressured his followers into killing one of their own with a nail gun.

Who decided on Kai’s blue hair color? Evan: That was originally my idea. I remember seeing this movie called SLC Punk and I always associated Detroit with this punk rock type scene. There was something kind of scary but alluring and kind of underground about blue hair. I was also looking around me and seeing so many people with blue hair — I was shocked! I was like, this is some kind of sign and I just have to do it. Everybody has brown hair, blonde hair, and red hair. So it was kind of like, destroy what’s already kind of going on everywhere — what’s normal — and let’s create something new. That was the logic behind it.

When you found out you were going to be a cult leader, did you do research on Charles Manson or David Koresh?Evan: Absolutely. I read a lot of books. I read Seductive Poison, which is about a survivor of the Jonestown Massacre. I read Combatting Cult Mind Control, which is a great book to help people get out of cults. I read a great book called The Art of Seduction. I watched as many documentaries as I could on cults — a great one to watch is Holy Hell on Netflix.

What was your biggest takeaway or what did you learn about these kinds of leaders? That they feed on people’s weaknesses? Evan: hat’s exactly what they do. It’s usually people who are educated, oddly enough. And smart and with it. They want somebody to lead for them. So these leaders usually isolate everybody and keep information from the outside world out and the leader is always right. They find wounds and they find weaknesses and they cut them open and they can embarrass you and shame you. Then, on the other hand, they can be very sweet to you and motivate you but it’s all in the vein of their cause. Another thing that they do is, they sleep deprive you so that you can’t think clearly. Everything that they say at that point becomes almost like they’re a god. You’re looking at them through this haze of tiredness and hunger and malnutrition and you just believe everything they say and they become infallible.

You’re playing multiple cult leaders, right, like Jim Jones and David Koresh? Is that all in one episode? Evan: No, it’s all the way until the end. It’s over the course of some episodes. There’s one episode where there’s a lot of them.

How challenging was that? Those are all very different guys. Evan: It was difficult. But it was really, really fun. It was incredibly difficult. A lot of research was involved in it. First, Ryan told me I was playing Andy Warhol and so I immediately started doing research on him and just fell in love with him. I thought he was amazing and the ’60s and The Factory and that whole world to live in is so fun. So it was great to learn about him but challenging to get his mannerisms and his speech and his state of mind. I would just listen to him constantly. For every person, there was luckily some sort of video or recording of them on YouTube.

You’ve done this seven years now. It’s definitely your biggest character since Tate in season 1. How do you qualify Kai? How do you rank him? Is he a favorite? Evan: He’s definitely the most prominent, therefore I got to play him the most and sort of explore him the most. In that respect, I think he was not only my most challenging and exhausting but as a result the most fun and I learned the most from it. It’s a very current character with the fear that’s going on in our country. I think Kai ranks as No. 1 on all the characters I’ve played.

Was it hard to let go of, though, because this plotline hits so close to home? Evan: Well, we wrapped the 22nd [of September]. He’s very wound up and high-strung and on edge all the time. He could get angry so easily. That hasn’t started to wind down till a little bit now. It took me a little over a week to let that go. [Laughs] But it was a lot. It was just the longest, most exhausting shoot and the hardest I had to work.

On a lighter note, is that actual Cheetos dust on your face? Evan: It was yeah. And you’ll notice if you ever are feeling risky or frisky and you decide to put Cheetos on your face, it’s more of a paler consistency. So we threw in a little orange paint in there as well. There were definitely Cheetos chunks in there and I definitely rubbed Cheetos all over my face.

Was that a good mask? How did that affect the skin? Evan: It was nice. It was kind of an astringent and a little drying. It was good for the normal to oily skin and to alleviate that shine.

Did you smell like Cheetos for days? Evan: We shot part of it and then we had to go to lunch. They were like, “You could wipe it off and we could reapply it.” I was like, “Let’s just keep it on. It’s going to be so hard to match that so let’s keep it on.” So everything I ate tasted or smelled like Cheetos.

You had to wear the Rubber Man costume. How are the costumes? How does that rate against the clown gear? Evan: I have to say it’s a little hot. A lot of that material is pretty thick and the jacket is leather. Those masks are really scary but kind of hilarious because we can’t see anything. So we’re like trying to walk around the set and we’re bumping into everything and swinging knives and missing.

You’ve had to do some nutty things on the show. How does masturbating in front of Billy Eichner rank? Evan: Look, it’s never an easy day at work when you have to jerk off in front of a bunch of strangers. It’s a little daunting. You kind of have to in a sense check out or put up a wall. I have done some insane stuff. There’s been so much sex and murder on the show that it was pretty small compared to where this season goes. So I was like, let’s just get in there and break the ice.

Was the nail gun scene disturbing to shoot? It’s terrifying to watch. Evan: Was intense. Everybody was upset and had to be upset about killing our friend. Makeup did a great job and made it very real and it was also performed very real. The thing about it is, there are certain scenes when you’re playing Kai that are excruciatingly difficult, like the flashback stuff. Then, you have the other stuff, like that, which for everyone else it was hard to shoot but for me it was enjoyable because the character was enjoying it in a way. Although, when you take a step back and look at it from the outside, it’s like, Jesus Christ, what are we doing here?

I love the relationship between Beverly (Adine Porter) and Kai. She seems to be getting more power hungry. Do we continue to follow that relationship’s evolution? Evan: Yeah, absolutely. And you’re right on track with that: she’s definitely getting more power hungry. I want it to be equal power but then years of oppression. It’s interesting seeing that relationship unfold and I don’t think you’ll be disappointed as the season goes on.

It must so weird to be so antagonistic for Sarah but last season you were married on Roanoke. In real life, you’ve known her for so long and you’re friends. Evan: It’s been fun and Sarah is such a great actress and is a very giving actress and will help you in a lot of ways. I really like working with her. I think when it comes to being antagonistic with her there’s a certain understanding we have where we can get into it and play that. But then, at the end of the day or in between takes, laugh or screw around.

What can you say about Kai going forward? Is his rise just going to continue? Evan: Yeah. Right now he’s a narcissist but then he turns into a megalomaniac and it just gets more and more and more. It’s tragic and fun and scary to watch Kai’s power get strong and stronger and stronger with the lack of sanity and empathy he has. It gets pretty terrifying.

[ramajmedia]

Fringe: The 10 Weirdest Things Walter Has Ever Said | ScreenRant

The cult sci-fi series Fringe revolves around the fictional Fringe Division of the FBI, which consists of Dr. Walter Bishop, a quirky mad scientist, his son Peter, a jack of all trades and resident deadpan snarker, Olivia Dunham, a no-nonsense Agent with the Bureau with drug-induced superpowers, Astrid Farnsworth, FBI agent and Walter's lab assistant of many names, and Gene the cow.

RELATED: Fringe: The 10 Most Groundbreaking Episodes, Ranked

While each and every character was popular with the fans and got a fair amount of screen time and development, Dr. Walter Bishop is especially fascinating due to, among other things, his many quirks and hilarious lines. Today, we're listing the ten weirdest things Walter has said on Fringe.

10 “HELLO PETER, THIS IS ME, YOUR FATHER, WALTER BISHOP.”

In the Season 1 episode “In Which We Meet Mr. Jones”, Walter requests to speak to his son on the phone. He introduces himself in the most hilarious way as if his own son, whom he’s been living and working with, doesn’t know who he is.

“Hello Peter, this is me, your father, Walter Bishop,” says Walter. The snarky Peter responds with, “Thank you, Walter. I know who you are.” The sarcasm, of course, flies over Walter’s head and he just adds “excellent," before moving on to the matter at hand. Season 1 Walter sure is a treasure.

9 “I THOUGHT YOU'D BE FATTER.”

When Olivia first finds Peter and gets him to come back with her to the United States in order to get his estranged father out of a mental health facility, Peter hadn’t seen his father in years. Their reunion was certainly not a joyous one. Walter was clearly not in the best state of mind to talk to visitors, let alone reconnect with his son.

RELATED: The Best Episodes Of Fringe According To IMDb

Suffice it to say that when he first lays eyes on Peter, Walter’s first words to his son were, “I thought you’d be fatter.” Peter is just as surprised by Walter’s poor choice of words as any of us watching the show.

8 "YOU KNOW... I HAD A FRUIT COCKTAIL ONCE IN ATLANTIC CITY. MIND YOU I'M NOT THE FRUIT COCKTAIL SORTA GUY."

Walter’s obsessions with certain foods are hilarious. Whether it’s root beer, blue cotton candy, fresh milk, blueberry pancakes, licorice, or what have you, Walter always finds a way to randomly insert his food preferences into a conversation. For example, one time he was discussing a case with Broyles and out of the blue remembers a very specific fruit cocktail.

When Broyles thanks Walter for his help on the case, Walter responded with: “You know…I had a fruit cocktail once in Atlantic City. Mind you I’m not the fruit cocktail sorta guy.” Confused, Broyles went to Peter for clarification.

7 “I’M DOSING A CATERPILLAR.”

The Season 1 episode “Bound” opens with Walter and Peter in the lab engaging in standard father-son conversation. Well, what passes for normal in the Bishop family anyway. Peter walks in on Walter conducting one of his odd experiments and asks what he’s doing. Walter casually replies: “I’m dosing a caterpillar,” as if it’s the most normal thing to do.

Peter then comments on how finding father’s giving drugs to bugs has become a normal event in his life. Still, who expected to one day hear the words “I’m dosing a caterpillar?" It sure took us by a surprise and never fails to make us laugh.

6 “EXCELLENT! LET'S MAKE SOME LSD.”

It’s no secret that Walter loves taking home-made medication and encourages others to do so as well. He openly talks about taking LSD with William Bell when they were both younger men, and admits to taking medication that he cooks up in the lab, as well as dropping acid. Many of Walter’s experiments involve LSD, which honestly doesn’t come as a surprise considering everything we’ve already said.

RELATED: 5 Things Fringe Did Better Than The X-Files (& 5 Things X-Files Did Better)

However, it’s still hilarious to hear Walter exclaim (with a bit too much enthusiasm): “Excellent! Let’s make some LSD,” as they prepare to pump Olivia full of drugs and put her in a tank of water — especially since this happens in the very first episode.

5 “I HOPE SHE DOESN'T NOTICE THE $2,000 FOR THE BABOON SEMINAL FLUID I ORDERED. I HOPE I CAN RECALL WHY I ORDERED IT.”

Peter once referred to Walter’s lab as "Bishop’s House of Horror", and he isn’t wrong. What goes on in Walter’s lab often qualifies as nightmare fuel. A whole lot of weird, inexplicable, and gross mixed in with downright frightening and disconcerting is enough to weird out anyone aside from Dr. Walter Bishop.

In the Season 1 episode “The No-Brainer”, Walter manages to surprise even himself when he can’t remember why he made a pricey order. When Peter mentions how Olivia caught him trying to order Celtic tickets on the FBI, Walter says: “I hope she doesn’t notice the $2,000 for the baboon seminal fluid I ordered. I hope I can recall why I ordered it.” We're certain something like baboon seminal fluid won't stand out whatsoever.

4 “DO YOU HAVE ANY COCAINE?”

We can probably agree that randomly asking people if they have any cocaine isn’t the most normal thing to do, no matter the circumstances. In Season 2's “The Same Old Story”, Peter calls Walter to ask his advice when a woman starts going into a cardiac arrest due to overdose of anesthesia.

Whatever we thought Walter’s answer would be, it certainly wasn’t this. Nonchalantly, as if it’s the most mundane question, Walter asks: “Do you have any cocaine?” At this point, we began to understand just how unconventional Walter’s methods can be.

3 "I JUST GOT AN ERECTION. OH, FEAR NOT, IT'S NOTHING TO DO WITH YOUR STATE OF UNDRESS. I JUST SIMPLY NEED TO URINATE."

In Season 1's "The Dreamscape", Olivia requests to go back into the sensory deprivation tank to remove John's memories from her consciousness. Of course, this involves taking drugs, including LSD because that’s Walter’s go-to medication, sticking a rod into the back of Olivia’s skull, and placing her in an old tank filled with water.

RELATED: 10 Burning Questions That Fringe Never Answered

When Olivia got undressed, Walter deems it the perfect moment to inform Olivia of his physical state. But to put her mind at ease, he quickly adds: “Oh, fear not, it’s nothing to do with your state of undress. I just simply need to urinate.”

2 "THE ONLY THING BETTER THAN A COW IS A HUMAN! UNLESS YOU NEED MILK. THEN YOU REALLY NEED A COW."

In the very first episode of Fringe, Dr. Walter Bishop requests a cow for his lab. At first, everyone is confused, but then Peter explains how human DNA and cow DNA share many similarities. Of course, Walter isn’t quite satisfied with his son’s explanation and offers some hilarious clarification.

In one of his most memorable moments, Walter utters this little gem: “The only thing better than a cow is a human! Unless you need milk. Then you really need a cow.” It’s one of the earliest Walterisms and an absolute fan favorite.

1 “SHE TRICKED MY SON WITH HER CARNAL MANIPULATION AND HE FELL RIGHT INTO HER VAGENDA.”

In Season 3, the Olivia from Over There, dubbed Fauxlivia, infiltrates the Fringe Division Over Here by taking the place of our Olivia and stealing her life. She even keeps Olivia’s newly-developed romance with Peter going, which naturally causes a lot of turmoil. But Fauxlivia also gets to Walter, who just can’t forgive her deception.

In one of his most unforgettable moments, Walter, visibly upset, delivers this iconic one-liner: “She tricked my son with her carnal manipulation and he fell right into her vagenda.”

NEXT: Fringe: Where Are They Now?

source https://screenrant.com/fringe-tv-show-weirdest-walter-quotes/

[ohblackdiamond]

little t&a (paul/gene, nc-17) (part 2 of 29)

part 1   part 2   part 3   part 4   part 5   part 6   part 7   part 8   part 9   part 10   part 11   part 12   part 13   part 14   part 15   part 16   part 17   part 18   part 19   part 20   part 21  part 22   part 23   part 24    part 25   part 26   part 27   part 28   part 29 

Four weeks before KISS gets back on tour, Gene discovers that Paul's been cursed by a groupie. For the sake of KISS' finances, Paul's comfort levels, and Gene's libido, this crisis must be resolved. Sexswap fic. In this chapter:  "What do you mean, what else was I doing? I woke up with tits! Don't you think that's a little fucking traumatizing?" Gene and Paul try to pinpoint the root cause of Paul’s predicament.

          Gene carried the groceries in for Paul. It felt like the lousiest apology, but he didn’t know what else to do. Paul looked as if he were seconds from tears—pretty horrifying, for Gene to try to realign his whole thought process, to try and reconcile the Paul he’d known for the last eight years with the pretty brunette currently slumped over the kitchen island—and Gene didn’t know how to mitigate that, either. Paul wasn’t much of a crier. Under the circumstances, though, Gene couldn’t exactly blame him.

           “I shouldn’t have done that.”

           “Forget it.”

           “Look—I thought it might be you from the tattoo, but I had to make sure—”

           “You made sure, okay? You definitely did that much.” Paul’s elbows were resting on the counter. His mouth was pressed against his clasped hands, muffling his words. “Fuck it, Gene. You were supposed to just write me back.”

           Gene rolled his eyes.

           “Yeah, you cut off contact with everybody a month before we go back on tour, and then you send me a two-sentence postcard and expect me to act like a fucking pen-pal. C’mon, Paul.”

           “Well, obviously, I didn’t want you coming over! You think I wanted anyone to see me like this? I already had to run Peter off!”

           So that had been him earlier. Shit.

           “How did this even happen?” Medically, it was impossible. Paul probably hadn’t had this little hair on him since he was ten years old. To say nothing of the drop in height, or the total reconfiguration of his body shape. He still looked pretty similar in the face, same big brown eyes, same slightly crooked chin and full lips, but the features were a little softer. Really, he looked like a good bit like his older sister, although Gene knew better than to mention it. Paul hadn’t seen Julia in at least three years.

           The guys had always made fun of Gene for his lack of discernment, and he knew there were plenty of women that looked like dogs dotting his photo albums, but Paul was—actually kind of pretty. Or would be, if his eyes, always a little sad-looking, weren’t all watery and his mouth wasn’t glued in that firm line behind his hand. Even Peter, who, oddly enough, probably had better taste in women, looks-wise, than any of the four of them, had said Paul was cute. And the tits—shit, Gene was distracting himself. Paul had taken his time answering anyway.

           “How should I know how this happened? I woke up like this!”

           “When?”

           “Wednesday morning.”

           “That’s five days. You’ve been like this for five days?” Before Paul could answer, Gene added, bewildered, “Have you gone anywhere?”

           It wouldn’t have surprised him much if Paul had holed up in the house the entire time. He did that enough normally. Gene could understand that, to a point. Gene never knew what to do with himself off-tour, either, except get laid, but Paul usually added a healthy dose of self-pity on top of the lays. Given what had happened to him, he’d probably been feeling sorrier for himself than usual.

           Paul surprised him by bringing his hands down from in front of his mouth and nodding.

           “I drove to Peaches yesterday.”

           “You drove?”

          “You think I could’ve convinced my chauffeur I was Paul Stanley?”

           “Might have an easier time with him than you would a cop.”

           “A cop? I’m a great driver—”

           “You don’t have a license right now.”

           Paul’s lips pursed and he went quiet for a while. Like the full magnitude of his situation had only just dawned on him. Not that Gene wasn’t sympathetic. This was going to screw him over, too. The new tour a month away, and their frontman not only entirely unable to prove his identity, but—really, assuming he got the other guys and their management to believe him, what was he supposed to do? Strut onstage in that sequin-studded jumpsuit, singing about the dick he didn’t even have? Even Bill Aucoin couldn’t spin a story about Paul getting a sex change into anything close to palatable for the magazines and papers. If they didn’t get this shit fixed and turn Paul back into a guy, KISS was sunk.

           Gene let the silence hang in the air rather than try to fill it up with small talk or reassurances. He got up and started taking Paul’s groceries out of the paper bags, just to give his hands something to do. A wrapped package of deli meat, several cans of Tab, a bunch of celery, and a loaf of sandwich bread were all that was in the first bag. The groceries of a depressed catalog model, not a rockstar. He put it all up in the pantry and fridge unceremoniously. Paul didn’t have a breadbox, so Gene left the loaf on the counter next to the sink. The second bag of groceries was just as dismal, maybe worse—peanut butter, saltines, apples, and, horrifyingly, a box of Kotex. Shit. Had Paul already given up on going back to normal, or—

           “You’re not on the rag, are you?”

           “Fuck, no. Put that back.” Paul was going crimson. Gene felt sorry enough for him to drop the Kotex back into the bag and return to his seat across from him at the kitchen island.

           “Are you planning to just wait around for it? Haven’t you done anything yet?”

           “Gene, I don’t know what to do. I did get some books sent over.” Paul got up and went to the living room, returning with some paperbacks under his arm, which he dumped on the kitchen table. Usually, Paul’s reading material consisted of teenybopper magazines with his face on the cover, contracts, and his own unflattering comics of his bandmates. Now Gene found himself next to copies of The Lesser Key of Solomon, The Secret Lore of Magic, and LaVey’s The Satanic Rituals. He could’ve sworn the hairs on the back of his neck were standing up just from cracking the spines. Gene tried to swallow his nerves as best he could, tried to look at the whole deal clinically, never mind what years of yeshiva and the start of rabbinical school had taught him, but every sigil-covered page made him feel a bit ill.

           “You haven’t tried any of this, have you?”

           Paul snorted.

           “Fuck, no. I’m already going to hell, there’s no point in expediting the trip.” He blew his bangs out of his face with a breath. They settled back in front of his eyes almost immediately, and he shook his head. “I just wanted to read up. I thought if I could figure out how it happened, I could get someone else to reverse it for me.”

           “Like a witch.”

           Paul flinched slightly.

           “Well, yeah, since that’s probably who did it in the first place.” He was standing behind Gene, reaching over him and pointing at the book he’d opened. “Oh, it’s in this one. Hang on.”

           Gene shifted obediently, trying to ignore the feeling of Paul’s bare chest pressed against his back. He knew Paul wasn’t coming onto him, not consciously, at least, but—fuck, the last several years on the road had spoiled him. Every chick he got near wanted to get laid, if not by him, then by one of his bandmates. But Paul wasn’t actually a chick, a fact made all the more apparent by how utterly oblivious he was to the fact that his bathrobe was halfway open, again.

           He handed Paul the book. Paul was thumbing through it before long, in his usual way, licking his finger with every pageturn. Gene could see the remnants of black nail polish on his fingernails—still aggressively manicured—and a couple of marks beneath his knuckles.

           “What happened to your hands there?”

           “Huh? I bit them.”

           “Why?”

           Paul shrugged and cleared his throat.

           “Anyway, found it.” He pointed to a passage alongside a lithograph of a lion head. “‘Marbas, alias Barbas is a great president, and appeareth in the forme of a mightie lion—'”

           “Paul, the e on the end of ‘forme’ is silent.”

           “Shut up—‘he bringeth diseases and cureth them, promoteth wisdom’…. It’s in here, I swear—there! ‘He changes men into other shapes.’ So that’s probably the demon that whoever it was conjured up.”

           Paul looked more than vaguely pleased with himself. Gene almost felt bad for not being impressed. Almost.

           “That’s all you’ve come up with this whole time.”

           “It’s only been five days, Gene, I—”

           “What else were you doing?”

           “What do you mean, what else was I doing? I woke up with tits! Don’t you think that’s a little fucking traumatizing?”

           “You had—” Gene just shook his head.

           “I don’t have anything, Gene. You said so yourself. I don’t even have access to my own bank account. I’m done once the cash runs out.”

           Gene started to ask how much cash Paul had on hand, then thought better of it. Probably not a whole lot. Paul had the annoying habit of charging everything he could to either the label or the KISS Corporation proper while they were on tour, and not letting anyone know until the following board meeting. Off-tour probably wasn’t much different.

           “Did you make a list?” he asked finally.

           “A list?”

           “A list of anyone you think could’ve done this to you.”

           Paul shook his head.

           “That’s the thing. Nobody I know would’ve wanted to do this to me.”

           “Then maybe it’s someone you don’t know.”

           “Like who? Gene, what good does it do anybody if I’m stuck as a girl?”

           “Revenge. You have any exes into the occult?”

           “Not that I know of.” Paul cocked his head, considering. “Mostly they break up with me, not the other way around.”

           “Groupies, then?”

           “Gene, I don’t—take notes on every girl I fuck, it’s not that important to me.”

           “Did you get with anyone strange lately? Maybe, I don’t know, a cult member or something?”

           “I don’t think so—”

           “Anyone ask you anything weird? Or try and get a lock of your hair?” Gene’s knowledge of the occult was limited, but he did vaguely remember needing—what was it, the person’s clothes or hair before any magic could be done on them. At least, that was how it worked on Dark Shadows.

           “That happens every tour at least three times.”

           “I’m trying to figure this out for you.” God. Paul had had almost a week that he could’ve spent seriously researching his predicament, and all he’d done was buy a couple of books, send Gene a postcard, and sit around moping. “Did—”

           “There was this one girl who yanked out some of my chest hair a couple weeks ago,” Paul said slowly. “I didn’t really think much of it at the time. I thought it was, y’know, a kink thing. It was cool, right, kind of a you’re the boss deal—”

           Gene winced.

           “Did she say anything?”

           “She said she was going to make me feel like she did.”

           “And you didn’t think that was strange.”

           “No! It was while we were doing some S&M shit!” Paul’s face was going slightly pink. “It was fun! You go on tour and you end up with a lot of real desperate virgins and groupies with V.D. and none of them really—they just wanna do what you want, they don’t wanna ever take the lead, and this girl, she had me up against the—”

           “I get the idea,” Gene snapped, although he didn’t at all. He wasn’t picturing the encounter as it’d happened, just Paul as he was right now, up against the wall, breasts heaving, one long leg hooked around his waist. Fuck, was it hard to look at him. Gene had never been ashamed of his own lasciviousness until faced with the one person who noticed it and needed it least. “Okay. We’re going to get this taken care of.”

           “How?”

           “I’m calling Ace.”

           “Ace?” Paul was almost squeaking. “Don’t call Ace!”

           “Relax, I’m not gonna tell him what happened.”

           “Then what are you—”

           “Just trust me, Paul.”

           Gene got up and walked over to the kitchen phone. Paul looked as though he were about to argue, but then he just shook his head, watching carefully as Gene punched in Ace’s number.

           “Hey. Hey, Jeanette, this is Gene. Is Ace around? Let me talk to him for a second.” Gene rubbed the back of his head with his free hand while he waited. He could hear Jeanette calling Ace over, and a little shuffling, just before Ace picked up the phone.

           “Hey.”

           “Hey, Ace.”

           “You find Paulie?”

           “Yeah. Yeah, he’s fine. I’m at his house.”

           “What was he pulling that prima donna crap over, anyway?”

           “He’s…” It was hard to talk to Ace casually with Paul staring at him. “He’s fine. Just paranoid.”

           “Paranoid? Why?” Ace sounded a little disbelieving. Gene couldn’t blame him. “He didn’t start on some shit, did he? Thought all he took was white cross.”

           “He’s not on anything. He’s worried about the tour.” Gene paused. “You still go to that psychic, don’t you?”

           “Sometimes. Why?”

           “Do you have her number?”

           “Gene, you don’t believe in psychics or any of that—”

           “Yeah, but Paul does. I thought I’d make him an appointment, ease his mind some.” Gene watched Paul’s brow furrow, one corner of his mouth lifting up in a wary expression.

           “You’d make it for him?” Ace’s tone was dubious. “I’ve got her number somewhere. Let me find it.”

           Gene heard rustling in the background, and Ace asking Jeanette where the address book was. Jeanette said something in return, and then Gene was almost worried they’d both forgotten about the call until he heard Ace’s high voice back on the line.

           “Okay. Her name’s Suzie, she’s got a little office over in the Bronx if you wanna pop over in person. I dunno the address, though, you’ll have to call.” Ace rattled off the phone number as Gene scrambled for a pen and paper. He had to settle for a napkin. “Hey, could you tell Paul to call up Peter sometime? He’s getting kind of worried.”

           “Yeah, I will. It’s nothing personal.”

           Ace laughed.

           “Pete ain’t gonna believe that secondhand, you know that. See you, Geno.”

           “Bye.” Gene hung up the phone. Paul got up from his chair.

           “You’re getting me an appointment with Ace’s psychic.”

           “Yeah. Do you have to check your dance card first?”

           “Psychics can’t reverse curses,” Paul said flatly.

           “Do you have a better idea?”

           “No.”

           “Then you’re going.” Before Paul could protest, Gene snatched the phone off the hook again and started dialing. “Get dressed. I’m pretty sure she’ll be willing to pencil you in quick.”