#they are in control of a lot so i guess it's understandable to a degree but sakito you deserve to be paid

[t-u-i-t-c]

"You know where to find me, if you change your mind."

[shiny-holographic-star]

Sirene asteroid (1009) observations

Sagittarius Sirene people appeal to others when they're fulfilling their purpose or having a clear direction in their lives. For example, my cousin has this placement, and she's able to appeal to others when she's so sure about being a dancer, believing that she was made for that, following the direction set by her heart/intuition without questioning it.

I have this placement too, and I think people come to me a lot in search for answers, to understand themselves better since Sagittarius is all about expanding ourselves.

Sirene in the 5th house is about mesmerizing people when you're in the spotlight, being confident and letting yourself shine. Also when performing, so this is a good placement for celebrities. My cousin has this, and she grabs everyone's attention when dancing, plus her personality (5H) is very charismatic.

I also have Sirene in the 5th House, and I'm not so comfortable in the spotlight which to me comes from the Capricorn degree (10°, 22°). This brings delays and challenges when it comes to you expressing or getting used to this alluring energy. You have lessons to learn before you're able to own this energy.

A Leo degree shows that you're confident to use this energy, you were born to be seen and to shine under the spotlight! Guess who has this. Yes, my cousin 💃🏻⭐️ It's worth noting though, that she has insecurities and suffers from anxiety, but she still loves the spotlight and wants to shine.

Libra Sirene attracts people when they show a chill attitude, by wanting to make everyone feel comfortable or included, by using a soft voice and having a great sense of aesthetics. My dad, for example, uses a soft voice when he wants to be polite or liked by others, and shows a super chill attitude with my sister and I's friends. A couple of my girl friends simped for him 😷

My sister has this placement too and she's the type to try and include everyone in the conversation, plus she too softens her voice when being polite or wanting to be liked? She also has a great eye for fashion. And with her friends she appears more chill than how she really is (she's crazy, your honor - in a good way).

Jungkook from BTS has Libra Sirene and his singing voice is very soft compared to what I thought it would sound like at first.

He also has Sirene in the 9th House so he might drawn in more foreign fans than korean. This placement could indicate being alluring when you're open to learn from other cultures or expand your understanding of things. Think about ambiences like college, school, foreing countries.

Scorpio Siren could be appealing when they're intense, reserved, observant, alert. Also, when they're being toxic (controlling or uninterested) or give off that aura of bad boy. For example, one of my exes has this, and he pulled me in with little to no effort, he used to take his time replying to my messages and I waited for him, thinking about what he could be doing and wishing for his attention. 🤢

A high school friend has this placement too, and he had this air or mystery when he actually was doing nothing? He has Scorpio Sun conjunct Sirene, and he wasn't easy to get close to at first. It's like he gave off an air of "I'm on my own, don't bother me", and some girls pinned after him.

Virgo Sirene people are alluring when they keep a humble attitude, lending their attention to you and recognizing they can learn something from anyone. My grandma and two friends (a guy and a girl) sometimes would ask me for advice, to explain something to them or to give them my opinion about something, and as I reply they'd look at me with the utmost attention, not wanting to miss any detail. They look at you recognizing the value of your words and that's so wholesome, it makes you feel heard and appreciated.

Sirene in the 1st House might give a great first impression considering it's the house of beginnings. They might be the person people notice or get curious about first in a group, and nobody knows why; it's unconscious. They also might atract people when they take initiative, which movilizes or motivates others. They seem like they would do good in a leadership position, people would be drawn to listening to them (especially when they're in the energy of the sign their Sirene asteroid falls under).

For example, a Virgo Sirene in the 1st House person might drawn people in by taking iniciative and assuming the role of a leader in a humble way, paying attention to everyone's input and striving to reach their ideal.

[bloodfestgf]

I think it’s really a somewhat unfortunate thing for people to be so weird and racist about louis exploring his sexuality and kink as a black gay man in paris (and jacob talks sooo extensively about james baldwin’s influence on his character this season) after escaping his abusive white father-maker-lover (one of the first things he tells people in paris is that he’s still trying to discover himself). why wouldn’t he want to step out of the role of the subservient suffering wife that lestat forced him to play and enjoy pushing against the constraints forced on him by the maker-fledging + white master-black lover dynamics without those specific power dynamics overshadowing his romantic relationships. there’s a lot of conversation about armand’s trauma informing his sexual preferences but you have to understand that this happened with louis too to a certain degree even if I personally feel it just comes down to his personal preference at the end of the day. the show is explicit about one thing - armand did feel safe sharing his history and ceding control to louis under consensual circumstances which are probably not things he’s ever done even when he had sexual relationships with other members of the parisian coven. a relationship with louis gave him the freedom he needed to extricate himself from the confining circumstances of coven life and the job he didn’t particularly enjoy.

the relationship having undercurrents of complex issues that inform their dynamic and lay bare their vulnerabilities and flaws isn’t something to comment upon uniquely just because they have an established dom/sub dynamic. there are a lot of angles informing the dynamic they settle into besides just their trauma because the show is specifically trying to make a lot of other commentary. armand seeking a master and lover and god in louis in vain because of his history with marius (and probably informed by the part he played in claudia’s death) is just as significant as him constantly micromanaging louis who’s treated like the metaphorical mad woman in the attic with mental illnesses who’s confined for her own safety. louis’ own worship of lestat’s masculinity, his desire to ascend the capitalist hierarchy, and his familial roles often acting as an extension of the patriarchal ones you see him engage in with his mother and sister and claudia are just as useful tools to examine the subtext in their relationship besides just. trauma lol.

at the end of the day it’s literally fine for louis to enjoy being a dom in their relationship. I think I hate the concept of louis being a suffering dom enduring the dynamic for armand even more because it seeks to apply moral judgement to anybody who takes on a more dominant role during, what is after all, just sex. a lot of people didn’t really absorb louis really enjoying cultivating a dom/sub relationship with 70s daniel, I guess.

[novlr]

could you maybe do something on characters becoming serial killers? I’m was originally going to have some sort of characters going insane thing, but I think that the whole “insane people killing” is a little stupid and borderline dangerous (saying that insane people kill all the time) so could you give me some pointers?

How to Write a Serial Killer: A Quick Guide for Writers

Crafting a convincing serial killer requires a lot of research, imagination, and an understanding of the genre. Let’s dive into some quick tips to help you create a serial killer who is gripping, unique, and emotionally complex.

Develop their backstory

The key to crafting a convincing serial killer is in understanding their past to shape their present. Explore their backstory in detail — were they subjected to abuse or neglect? Did they endure a life-altering traumatic event that set them on this dark path? Developing a compelling backstory is essential, not only to justify their actions but also to cultivate a degree of empathy, allowing readers to connect with the character on a deeper level.

Give them unique motivations

Serial killers act based on what drives them; they commit their crimes for a reason. This reason could be a need for control, a hunger for power, or a wish to spread chaos. By connecting their reason for doing things with their unique personality traits and backstory, you can create a well-rounded and consistent character.

Include misdirection and plot twists

To maintain suspense, make use of narrative devices like red herrings designed to divert your reader's attention. The clever use of these diversions can delay the unmasking of the killer, increasing tension and anticipation. Additionally, unexpected plot twists that abruptly shift your story's trajectory can not only alter your reader's perception but can also reconfigure their theories keeping readers on their toes.

Draw parallels with your protagonist

Creating a unique perspective by establishing similarities between your serial killer and your protagonist can add multifaceted layers to your story. This might involve drawing connections in their backgrounds, aligning their motivations, or uncovering shared personal struggles. These parallels not only make the plot more engaging but also heighten the intensity of the conflict between the two characters.

Use foreshadowing

Foreshadowing serves as a powerful tool in constructing suspense and subtly hinting at future events in your story — carefully place clues that can suggest the identity of the killer or indicate their next victim. But remember to maintain an air of mystery by not unveiling too much prematurely. The goal is to keep readers engrossed, continually making and remaking their guesses about the unfolding plot.

Include an emotional subplot

Adding an emotional subplot in your narrative significantly enhances the relatability of your serial killer. This could range from them harbouring deep-seated love for someone, to grappling with a fear that surpasses the dread of getting caught. These contrasting aspects of their otherwise sinister nature serve to give the characters greater depth and dimension, thus enriching their complexity.

Did you know we have a Spotify account with lots of great playlists for writers? Here's one to inspire your next serial killer novel!

[kaledya]

Hi Hi 🖤

Some personal questions about serenity and Constantine.

Serenity 🍀

1. Serenity appears to have fluffy hair in the images, is it soft? He lets people pass his hand because I remember seeing an image of the angel running his hand through her hair when she arrives at the hotel.

2. Serenity believes in bad luck, if she meets someone with the same power as her, what would happen?

3. Serenity considered Constantine handsome? What was her first impression of his appearance? What does she like most about his appearance? What attracts her?

4. Is she a type?

5. When she died and arrived in hell, what was her first impression?

Constantine 🔥

1. Is Constantine introverted or extroverted?

2. Does he clean his hooves daily?

3. Your favorite color?

4. Your favorite flower? Or some flower of origin from hell?

5. What does your castle look like? Does he have a garden? What does he like most about his room? Do you have a nice view? Where is it located?

HOWDYY!!! And YAAAAY more questions!!

SERENITY:

1-Serenity She has really soft hair, kind of like sheep's wool that has been washed with shampoo and then combed and dried. But it still looks like human hair.(There is only a very fast growth proglem)

2-hmmmm If she meets someone like her who can control luck If the other demon is not an enemy, she can try to establish a partnership with diplomacy. If the party decides to be a enemy, she will kill them. (If They are someone who does not want to make a deal, finding someone with the same powers as her will only be a problem)

She can't use her power in that battle because her enemy has luck too. But Serenity is both physically capable + has an army.

3- Hmmm, so it's kind of a fact that Constantine is handsome/Beautiful man. So naturally Serenity sees this too.

Hmmm I guess she likes his hair and face? She thinks his hair is very thick, they are very soft and she likes the color of it.

She thinks that a smile really suits his face. She even jokes with Constantine that if he always looks grumpy all The time like someone has died, his face will soon remain that way like a Statue. That's why Serenity tries to make him smile whenever she gets the chance.

4-Type? Hmmmm I've never thought of this before.So I don't think Serenity gave much importance to appearance, she just liked people who looked after themselves.

Maybe personality would attract her? Serenity probably prefers knowledgeable people with a sense of humor that matches her own intelligence.Also talented people People who have something in common with her.

In other words, when they spend time together, they are someone with whom they can both chat about deep topics and discuss daily issues.

5.I was thinking about the animatics of this scene /I was going to use World Burn/

🎶Because you took me down, but didn't finish me offffff~~

My names is Serenity Hartlet and in case you keeping score they may have won The battle but I WILL WIN THE WAR🎶

Or I was also thinking of Insane Animatic ıdk

When Serenity first came to Hell, she was a little too full of hate and confusion. She achieved her goal, but died without knowing it.

She was she shoted and stabbed in the stomach and then burned after.

And when she woke up, what she saw was a lot of creatures struggling among the blood and mud. For a moment, she even thought she had lost her mind. Then, after getting out of the pit and reaching hell, she realized where she was.

Then after seeing where she was her reaction was she started laughing and saying This

"Oh, can you tell me where I am? I don't know how I got here But I, I think I'm starting to understand I don't belong among the angels And baby, that's just fine with me The things I did up there were high school But now I'm going for my degree'' -Insane

CONSTANTINE:

1- He's INTJ (a Little bitENTJ too)

Honestly, it could be said to be a bit of both. Although there is a tendency to keep into himself and enjoy solitude, especially when involved in research or strategic planning,He can be quite charismatic and sociable when the situation calls for it. Can be very charming and elegant,refined demeanor especially when interacting with others So, he's a little extrovert and a little introverted.

2.He usually wipes his hooves before going to his private areas in the palace and washes them before entering the bedroom.Someone who cares about cleanliness will not enter the bedroom with dirty feet.

3-golden and red and black.

4-Spider lilies and Black Roses he loves Appearance of it and meaning.

5- For this question, I will use the references I found on Pinterest for a better visual expression.

-His Castle located in pride.

-He loves everything about it

inside of his castle look like this;

his workshop generally looks like this:

this art by Maethavee.Kay'E (on ArtStation)

His Garden/Big Libary (where he stocks his books):

Main Hall:

Corridors

His Bedroom:

His Daily Libary:

His view:

From outside:

ıt's kinda look like this but

The walls of the palace are made of Opsidian and there are many more spikes on the towers, and where the tree passes, there are ivy with black and red roses.

[user211201]

The Interviews

--- Originally posted on 2021-02-07 by dumb-and-jocked. ---

“Can you guys believe we actually made it?” Elijah exclaimed proudly. Even as the tallest of the trio at 6’7, he had to arch his back to see the top of the skyscraper in front of him. Elijah had worked hard to get his degree in business, so the prospect in front of him made him feel like he was touching the finish line. He had applied for an interning position in the financial department, and the company had been so impressed with his application that they had set up an interview immediately.

“I will admit, it is pretty incredible,” Dylan added. He was in the middle of the three, having a little over average height at 5’11 and pretty good muscular tone. What really stood out about him though was his voice, for it was a powerful bass that could shake concrete walls and was completely recognizable at any event. He too had applied for an interning position in the financial department, creating a little friendly rivalry between the two.

“I’m still surprised we all made it.” Although Joe was almost a foot shorter than the giant Elijah at 5’7, he made up for his height in sheer body mass. Back in college, he had been the star wrestler of the college, giving him a body packed with pure strength and flesh. One wouldn’t be able to guess it, but Joe was also skilled in another area: accounting. He was so talented in fact that he had actually been scouted out by the company.

“I guess we should head in,” Elijah stated, making his way forward slowly. “If we actually want to work at the Carmichael Corporation, we’ll have to ace these interviews.”

“Oh yeah, like that’ll be hard,” Dylan jeered as he walked through a set of grand swinging doors. “My record is pretty well stacked. I think I have the best chance out of the three of us for this position.”

“Dude, I’m going for accounting.” Joe gave a rough eye roll, before walking off to notify the secretary of their presence.

“And like I have any competition,” Elijah scoffed as Dylan and himself took a seat on a nearby bench. “Once they see that my name was on the Dean’s List every semester, I’ll get in for sure.”

“You only got that because you were the captain of the basketball team,” Dylan mocked.

“Did not,” Elijah hurled back.

“Did too!” Dylan retorted.

“You understand that I actually worked for those grades, right?” Elijah felt himself get heated as his muscles grew tense.

“Oh you worked for them alright,” Dylan mumbled. “On your knees.”

“Excuse me, bro?!”

“You heard what I said, coc-”

“Gentlemen!”

A sharply dressed male was staring down at the two bickering companions. The man was furiously tapping a pen against his clipboard, obviously irritated. Standing tall in front of the two, he was wrapped up in a gray 3-piece suit with a checkered tie that fit well against his sculpted body. His face showed that although he acted superior, he had to be a similar age to the two young men cowering below him.

“My name is Yale Stockton Rockefeller IV, and I am one of the Accounting Managers here at the Carmichael Corporation,” he began pompously, effortlessly taking control of the situation. “If you want to work here at the Carmichael Corporation, the first concept you must learn is respect and decency to and in the workplace.”

“Sorry,” Dylan and Elijah replied in unison, deeply embarrassed and annoyed by the stuck-up prick.

“Now, I assume I will be performing one of your interviews today,” Yale took a moment to look at his clipboard. “Is one of you Joseph Koroll?”

“That’s me.” Joe appeared from behind Yale, surprising the other man a little bit. After checking in, Joe had quickly run to the bathroom to wash his face, finding he had accidentally missed a few hairs when he had shaved this morning. Not noticeable, just a little itchy.

“Exemplary,” Yale responded, causing Joe to give the other two looks that said What’s with this guy?

“Let us make our way to a correspondent room, we have a lot to cover in little time.” Before Joe could comprehend what Yale had said, the other man was already walking towards an elevator. Joe quickly scurried along, waving to his pals before he was lifted up.

“How do you think he’ll do?” Dylan pondered.

“Better than the two of us so far,” Elijah pouted.

— —

“Joseph Koroll.”

“Yes?”

Yale sat straight at his desk, constantly giving off an ill-tempered glare as he peered back and forth between Joe and Joe’s resumé. What made it even more intense was that Yale’s eyes had an oddly captivating color to them. The two sat in a small conference room on the 15th floor overlooking a part of the city below. Joe didn’t feel that nervous–he actually felt quite confident–but the giant yellow chair he sat in made him seem much smaller than he actually was. Even for his muscular figure, he barely filled half the seat, and his head did not make it anywhere near the top. Not only that, but the chair was placed in the center of the room, giving him more attention than he needed.

“I despise that I must admit it,” Yale sighed. “but your experience and credentials are rather splendid.”

“Thank you?” Joe replied back, a little confused.

“If you want to be a part of the Carmichael Corporation however, there are some aspects that must be changed or enhanced.”

“I understand.”

“The Carmichael Corporation is not some urban start-up with jeans and herbal teas. This is a very demanding industry, one that expects all employees to be obedient and loyal.”

“Of course,” Joe nodded along. “That would make sense.”

“I do not know or care what went on at your last position, but if you want to succeed in this company, it is imperative that orders from a superior be followed. Would you be okay with this level of obedience?”

“Yes sir.” Joe slyly added in the title, sensing he had to accept a power shift.

“That is more appropriate,” Yale smiled. “Now, let us first address the things that need to be changed to be hired. Your attire is the most noticeable facet, as it is unsightly to say in the kindest of terms.”

“Unsightly?” Joe was surprised, finding his red sweater and black slacks quite refined before making eye contact with Yale.

“And that is the kindest of words,” Yale snickered back. “If you want to succeed, you will need to learn how to dress like a man. Let me read you a small excerpt from the company handbook.”

Yale stuck a hand into his bag and pulled out the largest book Joe had ever seen. It had to be at least 1000 pages, yet Yale had no trouble finding the exact description he was looking for.

“Blazers are classic items that work for semi-formal occasions and casual office places. Even as a man transitions to daily suits, a blazer will always have a place at a garden party or fraternity alumni event. Ties and bowties are a delightful way to add color to an outfit. Business attire defaults to long ties, and more conservative workplaces require more conservative choices. Consider emulating the attire of your superiors.”

Yale continued, “Supports should be practical and supportive. Belts are fine for casual outings; however, braces are more desirable for suiting, both for support and style as it allows a more traditional and flattering cut. Similarly, undergarments should provide support and coverage. Briefs are the most appropriate underwear choice, as it provides support without being extraneous. It is also compatible with tennis and golf; sports you will be expected to participate in and the only sports you will be allowed to play.”

Yale paused and took a deep breath. Once he had finished gathering himself, he looked over at Joe and gleamed with satisfaction. “I believe it is secure to say that you have already anticipated these particular needs of the company. Am I assuming correctly?”

“Yes sir,” Joe quickly replied. He had made sure to dress in one of his casual outfits today, something comfortable yet reputable. Along with a navy blazer that had been hung on the door, Joe had paired his classic navy polka-dotted tie with a blue button-up and wool dress pants. Sheer socks silently encased his Size 11 feet inside expensive-looking Oxfords, while two bright, yellow suspenders and a hefty watch worked as the statement pieces. He’d also made sure to shave his beard into a beautiful stubble, something that really made him seem both masculine and well-kept. Joe had originally been concerned that the look was a little too casual, but the fact that his superior had noticed it brought a smile to his lips.

“Superb,” Yale acknowledged. “If you are hired here, you will be expected to meet a certain standard of fitness.”

Yale once again examined Joe before meeting eyes, causing Joe to respond with a smug look.

“Interpreting what I have seen and read, I suspect you will be engaging in a routine similar to the one when you were in varsity golf?”

“Very similar, indeed.” Joe resituated himself in the chair, sitting a little straighter to truly show off his 6’1 height. His tight clothing did an impeccable job showcasing his muscular build, which wasn’t as massive as a bodybuilder’s but definitely imposing. He kicked up one of his Size 14 feet onto his knee, knowing he could now get a little more comfortable.

“You will also need to adapt to our image of masculinity, Joe. This is something that has an adjusting definition for everyone here at the Carmichael Corporation. Do you understand what I am referring to?”

“Not exactly, sir.”

“To explain further,” Yale eyes had a piercing gleam to them. “the duty of a man is to understand that when lacking in some areas of presence, he must identify other ways to consume the devoid territory. Men are meant to take up a certain amount of space, no matter their stature. This does seem appropriate, correct?”

“Yes sir.” Joe completely interpreted what Yale was referring to. It was only natural that some men had larger presences than others, so it was Joe’s duty to match that same standard. Readjusting in his seat once more, Joe felt his wide, plump bottom jiggling about, consuming the entirety of the extra wide seat. He bagged his pants as he sat, causing the crotch of his pants to ride up and give him a distinct moose knuckle. The fluid movement accidentally made him hard, but Joe knew no one would be able to see his 4 inches.

“Now, I believe the next issue is your tone and speech.” Yale pulled out his handbook once more and flipped to another random page.

“Our manual refers to multiple accessible forms of dialogue, but you will be working with men of all ages from assets and banking within accounting. Therefore, it would be best if you learned how to speak slower and adapt your vocabulary to something better cultivated.”

“Why would that help me exactly?” Joe questioned.

Yale, once again annoyed by Joe’s indecency, glared directly at him before explaining. “It will deepen your voice and give you more presence, which will be extremely helpful in business. You will also be able to use a fuller, more masculine tone–much like my own. I expect that is what you desire?”

“Yes sir.” The words spilled out in nearly double the time they had before. Joe’s tongue felt heavy as he spoke as every syllable seemed to require extra effort to spit out.

“Finally, if you aspire to work at the Carmichael Corporation, it is imperative that you adjust your title.” Yale moved along calmly, not at all caring about Joe’s confusion. “Joe is a very informal name. Lazy and lackadaisical. It sets you up casually in a professional world, agree with me?”

“I guess I don’t know…” Joe muttered, his voice sluggish and insensitive.

“In business, you know how important it is to give the right impression. The men in these industries expect a certain standard of professionality, even in your title. And you must give yourself every possible advantage.”

“Yes, of course sir,” Joe monotoned.

“Professionally, I think you should introduce yourself as your full name, John Millard Koroll.”

“I apologize for the inconvenience, but that is not-”

“And where is your surname from?” Yale interrupted. “Is it German?”

“No, it is most certainly-”

“Make it German. It will give you a much more asserting presence. And I reckon a suffix would add some competency as well. From now on, we shall refer to each other by our full names to emulate what the atmosphere is like here at the Carmichael Corporation.”

Joe was still at a loss over the last few comments. He was starting to feel a little panicked over the thought of losing his own identity to the corporate world, but before he could think any further on the topic, Yale stepped in.

“That will work for you, will it not,” Yale stood up from his chair and extended a hand, making sure to share a mutual gaze with Joe. “John Millard Koehler III?”

“By all means, Yale Stockton Rockefeller IV.” John Millard’s thick, slow voice drawled out. He got out of his own seat and shook Yale’s hand in a firm motion.

“Splendid!” Yale replied. “Then I can confidently declare that you are precisely what the Carmichael Corporation is scouting for. John Millard Koehler III, you will be starting as early as next week.”

“That is just grand!��� John Millard responded cordially. “It is truly an honor, my gratitude, Yale Stockton Rockefeller IV.”

“The honor is all mine, you will be an illustrious addition to our department.” Yale sat back down in his chair and ushered John Millard to do the same. “Before I dismiss you, let us discuss acquisitions and the baseline salary. Here at the Carmichael Corporation, we want to make sure that you can ‘be audit you can be’.”

The two chortled merrily at the accounting joke before getting back to business, knowing they had a prosperous future ahead.

— —

“It’s been almost an hour,” Elijah exhaled. “Shouldn’t Joe be done with his interview by now?” The two other men were still sitting on the same bench, waiting for anyone to come and greet them like Yale had appeared before. Countless businessmen had passed in front of them, but all of them seemed so eager to work that they didn’t recognize the recently-graduated college students.

“I don’t know,” Dylan replied honestly, twisting a lock of his curly mane within his fingers out of boredom. “I mean maybe this is the corporate world and everything takes a little longer than expected.” He then stretched to loosen up his joints, showcasing the body of a former running back for everyone to see.

“Yeah, but how many questions do they have to ask to see if Joe is a good fit or not?”

“Apparently a lot.” Dylan began swinging his legs back and forth like a child on a swing to entertain himself. The Size 13 canvas shoes went to and fro, hypnotizing him more than they should have. Elijah watched on too, somehow entertained by the small amount of movement.

“Ahem.”

The two young men quickly shot up off the bench, standing solid. In front of them was a brawny man between the pair’s heights. He looked to be somewhere around sixty, as displayed by his slicked-back salt-and-pepper hair, prominent jaw, and robust torso. His body was brilliantly exhibited in a multi-layered suit, one that displayed every shade from silver to slate.

“I assume the two of you are here for the hiring process, correct?”

The two men nodded their heads quickly.

“Very good.” The man made a quick glance at Dylan and motioned him to follow. Dylan did just that, giving a thumbs-up to Elijah before disappearing down a hall.

— —

“Dylan Pringle.”

“Yes… sir?”

Dylan watched a small smile creep onto the man’s lips after his little addition. There had been a few minutes of back and forth eye contact from Dylan’s resumé and Dylan himself, but he wasn’t feeling too apprehensive. Although the man seemed extremely uptight, Dylan knew there was nothing in his credentials that wouldn’t seem impressive. Plus, the man had already seemed to take a liking to Dylan, as he had been escorted to an expansive office that Dylan assumed had to be the man’s own. It was simply decorated with a few modern black-and-white pictures and two tables lined with retro leather chairs. There were also a few closets and coat racks holding different suits and other formal wear, probably owned by the man himself.

“I must inform you that the position you have applied for has already been filled.”

The sentence came as a shock to Dylan, causing him to twitch a little in his seat. Dylan was so perplexed that he had to examine the man’s eyes carefully to see if he was telling the truth. He was surprised to discover that they had an oddly charming hue.

“I would regard that as a godsend however, as you were not at all qualified for the position.”

“What do you mean?” Dylan’s bass tone became thundering. “I have everything the job requires… and more!”

“Surely you meant to say ‘Sorry Sir, is there another position open?’ as here I thought you were serious about working here at the Carmichael Corporation.”

Dylan was once again caught off-guard.

“Hmm, they told me you were more articulate.” The man made a disappointed grimace before moving on. “I was willing to offer you another position working under me rather than in the financial department as it seems you have no competence in the area. That is generous of me, is it not?”

“Yes, definitely sir.” Dylan was relieved that he still had a chance to work at the Carmichael Corporation, especially after applying for a job he never could have performed.

“Good.” The man walked over to a table and grabbed a rather large book. Dylan was able to catch a quick peek as the man passed by, noticing the pages were lined with questions and guides. Dylan hoped these weren’t all going to be used in the interview for the other position.

“There are a few things you will need to learn quickly if you expect to succeed in this business, do you understand?”

“Yes sir.” Dylan made sure to maintain eye contact to confirm his answer.

“Very good. First, we have a completely reasonable dress code here. I know you may not have expected to wear a suit every day, but it will be required. And by a suit, I expect a minimum of 3 layers in some shape or form.” Dylan cringed in his seat barely, knowing that his black turtleneck and jeans probably didn’t make the cut.

“Sir, are you-” Before Dylan could protest, the man pushed forward.

“I find a certain degree of conformity aids in office morale, is that not fair? I can tell by how you present yourself you also believe this to be true.”

“It is fair, sir.” Dylan agreed. He always made sure to wear multiple articles underneath his blazer, as it made him feel more polished. Even though he was forced to take off his tan blazer at the door, it had allowed him to expose the other garments on his body. These included matching tan pleated pants that graciously showed off his hefty pouch, a white button-up with matching white suspenders that strained heavily against his pecs, and a striped tie that shared the same charcoal color with his wing-tipped derbies. Readjusting his glasses, Dylan waited patiently for the man to continue.

“I believe it is also appropriate to have a strict haircut policy. Your hair is to be cut every two weeks, and I will refer you to my own barber. You will style it neatly and you will use whatever product I chose.”

“Sir, if I may interrupt.”

“No, you may not.” The man glared down on Dylan. “I expect to see comb lines so sharp that even from a mile away a man could tell you know how to use pomade. Understood?”

“Completely, sir.” Dylan felt like this task would be no problem, as he already maintained his hair strictly. Brushing a hand across his scalp, he was delighted to feel his sharp quiff still held stiffly in place with not a single hair sticking out. He also made sure to rub a hand across his jaw, feeling up the sculpted beard contemptuously.

“Now, you recognize that you would not be starting at the top, correct?”

“Yes sir.”

“Meaning that you would have a certain number of superiors, including myself, correct?”

“Yes sir.”

“So to clarify,” the man began, making sure that their eyes met so he could verify. “You would be an inferior male, underneath me and a plethora of other men.”

“Wait, that isn’t-” Dylan’s booming register was somehow once again cut off.

“You will need to present yourself to this position accordingly, but I believe it is fair to say that will not be an issue.”

“That is accurate, Sir,” Dylan replied reverently in a soft, creamy tenor. He understood where he was on the ladder, and how he’d have to act accordingly. Still sitting in his chair comfortably, the 5’7 man brought his legs closer together, allowing the sides of the Size 8 feet to touch. While doing so, Dylan felt his micropenis twitch eagerly inside his tight briefs, sending an excited reaction to the hole between his two jiggly, doughy buttocks.

“You will also be expected to attend to some other needs of mine,” Sir started. “Dry cleaning, note taking, errands, and the like.”

“Of course, Sir.”

“You will be loyal, you will be obedient, and you will be my dedicated servant.”

“Sir,” Dylan’s meek voice began. “What do you-”

“To work and succeed at the Carmichael Corporation,” Sir declared through fiery eyes. “it is imperative that orders from a superior be followed. Understood?”

“Yes Sir.” Dylan was willing to do just about anything that could give him an advantage in business; anything that would make his superiors pleased.

“So with that said,” Sir leaned back in his chair happily, dropping the handbook on the desk and crossing his arms across his chest. “If I were to ask you to, say, change your name, would you do that for me?”

“Yes Sir,” Dylan lied through his teeth. He was willing to do just about anything, but not that.

“Here at the Carmichael Corporation, we like to go by our full titles as they allude to more professional, defined statuses.”

“Absolutely, Sir.”

“Let’s first start with Dylan: just a gross, common name. You agree?”

Dylan didn’t, but the thought of a superior changing his name was suddenly tantalizing.

“Personally, I believe you would be more suited as a Dorrance. And for the surname, well,” Sir chuckled wickedly to himself. “Pringle was never an actual name, just a detrimental snack. You would be much better suited with Peabody. Classic, but preppy, which seems to be the direction you’re taking. Though I believe you should at least be a Junior.”

Before Dylan could fire back a string of arguments, Sir had ascended out of his throne and extended a strong palm.

“Congratulations, Dorrance Rotterham Peabody, Jr.,” Sir seemed very pleased with himself. “You will be a great fit as my new personal assistant.”

“Thank you immensely, Sir!” Dorrance replied, jumping out of his chair in excitement and eagerly shaking the man’s hand. “How soon may I begin to work under you?”

“Right away, boy.” Sir made sure to emphasize the demeaning word. “I have a few outfits I need you to sort through and approve of, as you know my taste quite exquisitely.”

“Of course, Sir.” Dorrance followed Sir to a table covered in sheets displaying different suits and styles. He immediately immersed himself into the work, separating out the preferable blacks, navys, and grays from the disgusting other palettes. This extremely pleased Sir, so much so that he wanted to reward Dorrance with something special. So, Sir gave Dorrance’s butt a big appreciation swat as he strutted away, causing Dorrance’s ample rump to shudder within his pants as he continued his work.

— —

Elijah grimaced, noticing the time on the gigantic clock inside the main lobby had only moved by a minute. The wait had been a lot longer than he had expected, forcing him to cancel an event with friends and a hookup from Grindr. It had been about an hour since Dylan had been taken away to his interview, and almost 2 hours since Joe’s disappearance. He was concerned about what this meant for them, but he was becoming more concerned about what this could’ve possibly meant for himself. Maybe he didn’t have a chance within the Carmichael Corporation. Elijah was beginning to feel as if the employers had completely forgotten him when a young man magically appeared before him, answering his plea.

The man wore a tight fitting suit, seemingly strained at both the broad shoulders and around the crotch. It was exceptionally subdued, a rather pale black color with a white button-up shirt and a gray tie with a subtle windowpane pattern. He carried a briefcase that looked both rather expensive and rather ordinary. The young man stood ramrod straight, his muscular build hidden by the extremely high rise of his pants, sitting above his belly button just under the rib cage. His powerful jaw–while covered in a little youthful baby fat–spread wide and hung low, giving his face a square, lantern shape.

“Elijah Grove.”

“Yes?”

“I assume you are the last respondent today?” His voice was slow and deep, catching Elijah off guard.

“I guess?”

“Do you guess or do you know?” The young man seemed to get rather disgusted by Elijah’s uncertainty. “If you expect to succeed at the Carmichael Corporation, you are going to have to know.”

“I-” Elijah was almost sure he saw the young man’s eyes flash dazzlingly as he began. “I know I am the last respondent, yes.”

“Grand.” The man ushered Elijah to get up and tread closely behind. Following quickly, Elijah was surprised to see that they were leaving the building.

“If you don’t mind me asking,” Elijah chose his words carefully. “Where are we going?”

“I am fond of conducting my interviews over promenades,” the young man replied. They steered their way around crowds of businessmen as they ventured into the streets, making random turns here and there. “It shows how well you can think on your feet, literally. It is an aptitude you will need to be proficient in if you want to become an Associate like myself.”

“Associate?” Elijah blinked a few times out of confusion, knowing that he had applied to work as an intern in the financial department. Although he was a few inches taller than the young man, he was having a little difficulty catching up, causing him to fall in and out of the conversation.

“Indeed,” the man misinterpreted the question. “I was recently put in charge of development acquisitions and advanced from Junior Associate to an Associate. Fascinating, is it not?”

“Sure.”

The two strolled a little further out of the city, moving away from the busy center where the Carmichael Corporation headquarters stood. They came upon streets a little emptier then before until they finally turned into an old park. It was actually quite beautiful, covered in old knotty trees and overgrown plants. Birds were constantly chirping and squirrels chased after each other like there was no tomorrow. It was also littered in large stones, adding an oddly picturesque feel to it. Elijah was surprised that he had lived in the city for so long and had never once been to this place.

After a while more of walking, the man led them to an old picnic table before turning around and offering a large, rough hand. Confused, Elijah accepted it and the grip practically shattered his bones. Elijah had kept his body fit since his high school basketball days, so he was surprised to feel such a sheer strength in the young man’s shake.

“My name is Keating Eckley Whitlyn, Jr.,” the young man stated before placing his briefcase down and taking a seat at the table. “Our interview should not extend too lengthily, as I have some imperative work to attend to after this.”

“What would that be?” Elijah asked earnestly, his jovial tone a major contrast to Keating’s flat, molasses-like demeanor. At 6’7, it was fairly difficult for him to get his skinny legs under the table, but he managed.

“I have been assigned to a downtown acquisition project, a potential development on 520 Porter where we need to clear the lot.”

“Huh, okay,” Elijah strangely got interested. “So what is it that you are removing?”

“Currently the future site of the Carmichael Settlement on Porter is occupied by this park we are lounging in right now.”

“This park?” Elijah was surprised. “But it’s stunning! There’s so much life and nature here. You wanna tear it down?”

“It is an eyesore and it occupies a lot with high economic potential. It is better suited for development.”

“How could you be such a soulless jerk?” Elijah scolded, getting angrier faster than he had anticipated. He began caring less and less about the job and more about his own morality. Sure, Elijah got how important money was, but he didn’t think he would be able to live with the guilt of destroying an animal’s habitat, let alone an entire population’s. “Don’t you understand what you would be doing? The impact this will have?”

“I’m offended by your tone.” Even after being insulted, Keating’s voice still sounded low, slow, and empty. His eyes however seemed to flare up before he continued. “And yes, I understand exactly the impact this will have. It will create a serviceable, profitable property for the Carmichael Corporation, which in turn will compensate me with enough money to survive. That is what any respectable man like you and I would desire.”

“Survive?” Elijah mocked, now getting extremely annoyed that Keating had compared the two of them.

“Obviously.” Keating wasn’t defending himself, but instead explaining what he thought was a common fact. “I just bought a house out in Fenwick, the only neighborhood in this squalid city with expansive acreage, tree-shaded streets, and good schools. It is very difficult to purchase a home in that neighborhood, especially one with the seven bedrooms, four floors, and private tennis court I required. Plus, I’m working on my country club application. The application fee alone is $50,000. Looking over your records earlier, I had gathered that was something you desired as well, correct?”

“Yes, that is true.” The idea was buried inside Elijah’s mind. Far from feeling like a fresh fantasy, it was embedded deep, as though it had always been there, as though he’d always wanted to buy a giant mansion in a gated neighborhood with an expensive country club. It was always the goal to move out to Fenwick for corporate shark Elijah.

“I am relieved that that is settled.” Keating opened his briefcase to reveal a combination of different documents, papers, and a massive book that Elijah couldn’t believe fit in the bag. Keating proceeded to pull it out and flipped open to a page somewhere in the middle.

“To become an Associate, you will first be assigned underneath me as a Junior before moving up the ladder. You will still make a good deal of money however, so do not feel too unsettled. Do you understand?”

Although they were maintaining a shared gaze, Keating was not able to read the confusion on Elijah’s face.

“I’m sorry, but I don’t think that’s correct.” Elijah was here for a position in the financial department, not to be an Associate, so he was embarrassed to point out the error that Keating had made. Not embarrassed enough however to not correct him.

“As a Junior Associate, you’d start with a baseline of 100 plus three percent commission with incentives quarterly based on goals and projects,” Keating answered, once again misreading. “I believe that will be appropriate compensation, am I accurate?”

“Yes, indeed you are,” Elijah replied cheerfully, glad that the issue was all cleared up. He had wanted to start as an Associate right away as he was worried it the Junior position wouldn’t give him the pay he had hoped for, but apparently it wasn’t that far below. Plus, if he did well, he could quickly move up like Keating had.

“Your job will require calls, lots of calls,” Keating droned, his piercing eyes drilling right into Elijah’s. “Calls to landowners, historical groups, insurance companies, auctioneers, all with their own opinions and interests. A few calls will be less productive, with upset protestors yelling at you about our improvement upon the lot. You will have to decelerate your speech to command attention better. Be direct and contain emotions. You will be better suited to appear calm and in control at all times. There is no need to ever appear energetic or excited.”

The hurling of information confused Elijah. “So you are saying I shouldn’t care about the clients?”

“Yes,” Keating confirmed. “You can try being sympathetic, but you will quickly find that being stern and direct will get them off the line quicker so you can return to work. Based off of what I have already perceived, this will not be a hindrance.”

“Thank you.” Elijah found himself mimicking Keating’s voice: deep, dull, and disinterested.

“There are many perks of the job, including a corporate gym on the fifth floor which I highly recommend you use.” After investigating Elijah’s long, fit body, Keating brought his eyes back to Elijah’s own. “We expect every man to have a sense of presence at the Carmichael Corporation. Currently, you are far from meeting those standards.”

“What do you mean by that?” Elijah responded. It was hard for a man of his height to keep a healthy weight. A high metabolism meant he was always fairly skinny, but he didn’t expect it would be such a problem.

“The gym is a good source of weight training,” Keating continued, ignoring the question. “I personally workout an hour before work each day and one hour afterwards. You will be expected to maintain a similar routine. It appears however that you already understand the importance of presence, but if you are interested in a tour of the corporate gym I would not be affronted.”

“Thank you, I would be very fond of that.” Elijah smiled politely after his reply, moving his legs a little under the picnic table. At 6’3, it was a little difficult for him to keep his well-defined legs under the table, but he managed. Although he’d left golf after college (and hoped to get back into it with his admission into the country club) Elijah had made sure to keep his body in excellent shape by working out almost everyday. His proof could be seen through the skin-tight quarter-zip sweater and the black khaki’s that hugged his meaty quads and calves.

“At the Carmichael Corporation, we do have a dress code, but it is reasonably undemanding.” Keating turned the manual around to show Elijah. The page that Keating had flipped to displayed a model covered head to toe in a full, very dapper yet very posh suit. Elijah’s eyes fluttered quickly before looking back to Keating for confirmation.

“‘Reasonably undemanding’?”

“I would say so. A suit works as the foundation of a man’s future in business.” Keating closed the handbook and placed it back into his briefcase. Elijah could have sworn a tiny smile crept onto the corners of Keating’s mouth during the action. “I appreciate that you have already generated this knowledge.”

“I’m glad you noticed,” Elijah flourished, his voice still plodding. Elijah had made sure to pick out an outfit that had shown off all of his best features. First, a drab, beige, perfectly-cut jacket with matching pleated pants, accompanied by a striped salmon button-up that contrasted well against his pale skin. He had matched his coffee-colored tie to similar shaded Size 13 tassel loafers and a pair of bronze supports that were hidden expertly beneath his coat. Finally, he had styled his blond hair into a fashionable ivy-league cut, making sure to also get a fresh shave earlier that morning. Just the thought of himself in the outfit made him perk up inside his white briefs, bringing his dick to a 6.5-inch mast.

“There are only a few more things we must address, one being your character and ethics.”

“What is it the company expects?” Elijah asked.

“You must understand,” Keating glared. “the Carmichael Corporation expects every man to share the same morale system. We want a unified front; a collective conscience per say.”

“Alright,” Elijah accepted. “What are these shared values?”

“There are the equitable ideals like marrying a woman of the same class, having an abundance of children, and being a member of good standing at multiple prestigious clubs.”

Elijah sighed to himself quietly while still maintaining eye contact, disappointed in these old-fashioned beliefs.

“At the Carmichael Corporation, we also have intimate objectives that stand high above the others. You must want to move upwards on the corporate ladder. You must want to fully commit yourself to your work. You must want to embody everything a man should be: big, strong, soon to be rich. You must want to be every title a man should own: sportsman, fraternity brother, and avaricious. You want money, do you not?”

“Yes,” Elijah confirmed deliberately. “I want money.” This brought a greedy sneer spread to Keating’s face. Elijah felt like a low, deep, and great truth had awoke inside him. Luckily, the Carmichael Corporation’s principles had aligned perfectly to his own.

“Very good.” Keating eyes also seemed to grin wildly. “Now, two imperative adjustments I would personally like to make. The first is your name.”

“My name?” Elijah opposed.

“Yes, you will need something stronger, more outdated to establish yourself as a man of the Carmichael Corporation. Is that not true?”

“Yes, I do believe that to be true,” Elijah suddenly affirmed. “Please tell me what you think my name should be.”

“Your name is not the only dilemma however, but also your nationality,” Keating resumed. “I believe a British origin would give you a brilliant presence. More mannerful, much more respectable, and it would help establish you as a leading man. Plus, a legacy will give you generational value. What do you think?”

“I-”

“But,” Keating cut off before Elijah could even attempt to reply. “I should not be bashful in saying that you already represent all those factors. Care to agree, Emerson Foley Gillingham-Smyth?”

“Most certainly,” Emerson acknowledged accordingly in a pretentious accent. He was a diligent, hard-working, and prosperous Brit, and those were only the first words that came to his head. Some may have called him smug and arrogant, but he was really just confident and self-assured. He resembled the epitome of a real man, as displayed by his stunning suit that contrasted his tanned skin eloquently. His dark, chestnut hair and beard also gave off a shocking amount of masculinity. Just the thought of himself and his own superiority made him perk up inside his white briefs, bringing his dick to a 9-inch mast. He was by no means a repulsive sodomite, but he could admit a handsome man when he saw one. And he was a handsome man.

“So what do you convey, Keating Eckley Whitlyn, Jr.?” Emerson began, taking a stand with his Size 15 feet planted firmly beneath him. “Do you believe I could become a Junior Associate at the Carmichael Corporation.”

“By all means,” Keating replied, getting up and extending a hand forward. “You’ll be a fashionable fit.” They gave a single sturdy shake before finishing their business. While heading towards the exit, they held a light conversation about stocks, each having grabbed a business edition of the Times along the way.

Gripping the paper tightly as they drifted away from the park, Emerson felt almost restless. The idea of stripping away that atrocity of a park to add in a new, profitable site was so thrilling it was mildly arousing. After his success here, Emerson knew he would receive a promotion, which pleased him mightily. Making their way across a boulevard, Emerson watched the Carmichael Corporation’s headquarters come into view, the place where he knew he would accomplish everything he desired.

[mbti-notes]

Anon wrote: INFP, 25. Feeling pretty lost in life. After a long battle with mental illness (runs in the family, I'm surrounded by people that as of now don't want to go to therapy and keep reliving the same patterns, hurting everyone who hasn't gone through the process I've - THANK GOODNESS - gone through thanks to therapy and medication), I find myself unemployed, without friends, without money, still studying for my degree (I'm almost finished though) and for the first time seeing things so, so clearly.

I wasted most of my teenage years trying to understand what the fuck was going on in my head, battling anorexia, depression and social anxiety - and the latter still has a big impact on the way I speak to people since words don't come to my head, plus depression really wrecked my memory and it can take a whole 20 minutes for me to remember a specific name that I wanted to bring up in a conversation. I feel like I'm cooked.

I don't hate myself nor I feel like I have low self-esteem; actually, I really like who I am when given the time and emotional space to make my true self and inner creativity shine. I think I could give a lot to people but because of a general lack of understanding of common references cause I was detached from everything most of my life and I've missed them all, I tend to be perceived as cringe/weird/naive/childish and none of my conversations are surviving past the first week.

I'm really trying hard to develop my vocabulary, catching up with tv shows characters or even basic history references, but it feels like a huge toll of notions that I can't possibly internalize in such a short amount of time. These people dedicated years (consciously or not) to common knowledge, their family members had culture and raised them to be curious about the world - I'm only now waking up and looking at the world for the first time, with the intention of developing my social and verbal skills.

Basically I need to step up my life and I don't feel like it's working cause everyone can tell I'm so behind and I'm not up their standards - especially in my age range, and considering my economic state. Whenever they ask "what's your job" or "what's your favorite music genre" and I can't really give them an answer to either, I feel ashamed. I know it's not my fault, I had to survive violence and ignorance growing up and I was never given the time to discover who I am or to become a functioning member of society or even feel "safe" enough to try ANYTHING, so yeah, I do have self-compassion, I guess - but others seem like they don't, and I'm so slow when I speak, I'm so slow when I wanna come up with a joke and in a social setting everyone looks at each other like they think I'm stupid.

Is there any advice you can give me? I know I can make it. I am exactly like everyone else, I can develop the same abilities and have a good future. Am I right? Or is this just some lie I'm telling myself? Am I deluded? Will people always look down on me and avoid me altogether?

--------------------

I'm not in a position to tell you that you're lying to yourself; it's something you need to determine through honest self-reflection. There's nothing wrong with talking yourself up in order to motivate yourself to do better. It's also a good thing to try to focus more on the positive aspects of life, especially when you have a history of getting stuck in negativity or narrow-mindedness. This would certainly help you with Ne development, which should be an ongoing project.

As far as I can tell, the root of the problem you're describing isn't psychological but social. Not everything in life is under our control. In fact, studies have consistently revealed that people are far more influenced by their social environment than they care to admit. You don't get to choose which family you're born into. As a child, you have no say in which neighborhood, city, or country you live in. Yet, upbringing, community, and culture are three major factors that influence the trajectory of your life, everyone's life.

If you're unlucky, you grow up experiencing a painful mismatch of personality and environment. And it is down to luck. You shouldn't fault yourself for accidents of birth. And you also can't really fault the "environment" because it's not really a conscious entity that intentionally sets out to harm people. Although the social environment is created by the people comprising it, it's not within any given individual's power to change or control it. This is why, historically, you see people migrate far from home, in search of better environments with better opportunities.

You're young and, because of your upbringing, you didn't really get a chance to participate properly in the world. This means you haven't really experienced firsthand just how big the world can be. There is such a diversity of people, places, and culture in the world, which I take to mean that there's a place for every person. Somewhere in the world, there's a place that will allow you to be your true self. Somewhere in the world, there's a place that will help bring out the best in you and allow you to contribute the best of yourself.

However, that place may or may not be where you were born and raised. When you feel like you don't fit in despite all your best efforts, it might help to ask whether this is really the place you're meant to be and the people you're meant to be associated with...

I've known a lot of immigrants in my lifetime, so I have taken part in many complicated discussions about how to fit in, culturally. Some people find it easier to pick up mainstream culture as they go, looking up references and remembering them as necessary. Some people like to be more prepared and put effort into studying cultural history. I've had a lot of people ask me for help getting to know western culture's most important artists, writers, books, musicians, songs, movies, and tv shows by decade.

It used to be easier to learn cultural knowledge when media was more centralized. Nowadays, people are more siloed, ironically because of social media. Subcultures abound, appearing and disappearing with short-lived social media trends. In today's chaotic media landscape, trying to keep up with the latest cultural trends isn't really worth the energy anymore because collective memory has become so short. What's the point of remembering a meme or viral event when most people will have forgotten it a month later?

What is one to do when faced with this kind of information overload? There are two helpful strategies that go together:

(1) Narrow Your Focus

One reason people are so interested in cultural knowledge is because culture is an important avenue of self-discovery. Have you ever noticed that when they put together a boy/girl band, they find four or five guys/gals with very different and distinct personalities? They're hoping to ensure that teenage listeners will find at least one band member to relate to on a deeper level. It's a way to cover all the bases and maximize the chances of turning someone into a fan. While it sounds like a cynical and calculated ploy, it's actually an important way for teenagers to learn more about their own likes/dislikes, in contrast to others.

One could argue that the reason we have so many genres in music, movies, tv shows, and literature is because of the diversity of human beings. We're all born with a personality that we express in our own unique way, which means we all have a propensity to like and dislike certain things. As much as I've tried to get into death metal, I just can't seem to resonate with it. And there's nothing wrong with that, as long as I'm not out there trying to stop other people from appreciating it. We are all entitled to our personal tastes.

You're hoping that by learning more cultural knowledge, some of those factoids will eventually pay off during a social interaction. But what are the odds that they will? Pretty low because it's too random. Is it really worth the energy spent in remembering all that information only for a small portion of it to come in handy at some random time in the future? Sure, there are people who have a head for remembering trivia, but if you're not one of them, it quickly becomes a waste of energy that could be better spent elsewhere.

But wastefulness aside, cramming yourself full of factoids isn't a good strategy for two reasons. Firstly, when learning is motivated solely by a desire to obtain external rewards (e.g. approval or money), people don't tend to achieve true mastery or genuine appreciation of the subject matter. In other words, it's a shallow way of learning that doesn't help memory retention, as you're finding out. Secondly, doing something just to impress others is basically contorting yourself to conform with other people's expectations. This doesn't help you learn about yourself, quite the opposite, it takes you farther and farther away from yourself, which is why it doesn't feel right.

While we often associate identity formation with adolescence, the fact is that learning about who you really are is a lifelong task. Thus, the question isn't about when you started (early or late), it's more about whether you're using a good approach that actually gets you incrementally closer to the truth of who you really are.

If participation in culture is an important pathway for learning about oneself, what you should be doing is exploring different aspects of culture to learn about potential likes, dislikes, interests, and hobbies. For example, you're not going to know whether you like horror movies until you watch a few. But once you've watched a representative sample of the genre and realize you don't like it, let it go and move onto something else.

It's almost as though you believe you have to know everything so that you can relate to anyone. I don't think this is a good or efficient socializing strategy, unless you love researching and have a great memory. You need to accept the fact that you're not going to be friends with everyone. It's okay that you're more compatible with some people more than others.

To improve your chances of social success, you have to know what you're looking for and how to find it. When you go fishing, you don't just throw a hook in the water and hope for the best, right? You have to use the right kind of bait. In the context of relationships, "bait" refers to the things that attract people to each other. One of the best and fastest ways of connecting with people is through common interests. However, this pathway won't be available to you as long as your interests aren't genuine or you haven't developed them properly.

(2) Prioritize Quality (Over Quantity)

One reason people feel easily inundated with too much information is lack of critical thinking skills. Critical thinking helps you sort through information and evaluate its quality. It's like learning how to quickly spot the rare diamonds amongst the pile of cheap shiny jewels. This also helps with the first point of narrowing your focus.

When you have a better idea of what you like or find intriguing, you open up opportunities to dig deeper and nurture a more sophisticated appreciation of the subject, to refine your tastes. A like/interest (feeling) can be transformed into an edifying intellectual pursuit (skill). But this can only happen if you value learning for its growth potential and not just for the social approval it might bring.

You seem a bit too concerned with how people judge you as a "weirdo". It could be the case that you've met some nasty people. But it could also be the case that you're projecting because you low-key feel ashamed of being "behind" in your development.

There's nothing wrong with being ignorant when it happens through no fault of your own. Nobody comes out of the womb knowing everything and we don't all have equal opportunity to learn what we need to know. It's pointless and illogical to compare yourself to others when you didn't begin life at the same starting line. And being human means having blind spots. Ignorance only becomes problematic when it is willful, that is, a person denies their ignorance and refuses to remedy it with proper learning. Given your motivation to learn, it's clear that you're not stuck in a state of willful ignorance, so there is nothing to feel ashamed about.

On occasion, people come to me asking about a psychology book they've read, only for me to break the bad news to them that it's a terrible book, full of misinformation. Should they then walk away and give up out of embarrassment? I sure hope not. I hope that they would learn to choose their learning resources more carefully.

The trouble with being a newbie is that you don't yet know enough to separate out the good stuff from the junk. To counter this, instead of becoming too reliant on one resource, communicate with a wide variety of people who seem to exhibit more knowledge than you. Eventually, you'll get a better feel for the quality of the knowledge. For example, if most experts are in general agreement, then you've probably stumbled upon trustworthy information. But when nobody can seem to agree on what the "truth" is, then be more careful.

Following from that, instead of slinking away in shame when you're caught not knowing something that seemingly "everybody should know", why not just be honest about not having had the chance to learn and welcome the person to enlighten you? Allow yourself to be humbly schooled. I can't tell you the amount of useful information I've picked up by simply letting people go on and on about their passions and interests.

Doing this could also take a lot of pressure off you, in terms of having the opportunity to: 1) sit back, relax, and listen, 2) learn and absorb information in a more natural setting, and 3) get some valuable tips about which direction to take your learning and where to find quality sources of information to speed up your learning. You might even get inspired to pursue something new and interesting.

The concept of "quality" also applies to people. Every person is a mixture of positive and negative qualities, but some people exhibit more of their negative qualities. When you meet people like that, it is fine to feel repelled and get away from them. But don't then overreact and overgeneralize and believe that everyone is bad.

If the people you're interacting with are truly judgmental jerks, it's better to find out sooner so that you don't end up in a toxic relationship. You truly like yourself? Then wear it proudly. Be open, authentic, and transparent about who you are and the struggles you've been through. Observe how willing people are to accept all of you. This should help you quickly separate out the good from the bad eggs. A good person should be:

empathetic and compassionate

willing to give you the benefit of the doubt

inclined to see and acknowledge the good in you

curious rather than judgmental

sensitive and accommodating, within reason

Every place has its good and bad people, and meeting new people is luck of the draw. When you meet bad people, there's no need to waste time with blame or anger. It's their problem, not yours. Simply walk away and keep looking for good people. And if your social environment isn't overflowing with your kind of people, you might have to migrate to a new and better environment.

Generally speaking, the process of improving yourself and your life goes a lot more smoothly when you know how to tune out noise and keep focused on your main goals.

[sporesgalaxy]

I know this is something u were probably asked before but as the guy that has a good relationship with art....how do you do that??? I mean I get that this question is vague but how do you not care if it looks bad? Do you just?? Keep on going till it looks like you want it to look? Despite the agonies? You seem like you enjoy talking abt this thats why im asking, dont feel the need to answer if u dont wanna

hmmmm. You know, I don't think about the agonies much these days. But it's not that I don't care. I guess I've become a freak who sees beauty in the agonies, sorta? It's kind of complicated! I will do my best to explain!

First of all, I know that I have the unfair advantage of having no ambition. I don't have a goal for my art besides making art when I feel like it. That makes it easy to be less judgemental-- I remember having a rockier relationship to my own art during the time when I thought I would make it my career.

This is why I like talking about my perspective, though!! I think it's important to try not to let yourself be consumed by self-criticism as an artist, even if self-criticism is necessary for you, and hopefully my carefree way of looking at things can help balance things out haha.

Anyways, ambition or not-- and I know how this sounds but bear with me-- art doesn't ever look bad.

(Barring ethically harmful art, ugh, I don't want to get into ethics so just-- surely you know what I mean!!!)

Art gets a lot less stressful if you can tell yourself that no art is bad, and remember the reasoning behind that until you really believe it. It isn't a fast process, but it's very worth the work.

The truth is that art either looks how you want it to look, or it looks different from the way you want it to look, but both are ultimately neutral. You CAN make art that looks different from what you wanted, that you still feel pleased with.

When art looks different from how you wanted, the gut reaction you have is often to call it bad or get frustrated. And of course it's frustrating! Maybe you feel it's not as effective at communicating something as you'd hoped, or you feel it's not as visually impactful as you imagined...but it's important to remember those things are only your perception. Not an objective fact. And art is a two-way street! A communication between creator and observer! And communication is really weird and complicated.

•••

Other people's perception of your work won't ever be exactly the same as yours. Sometimes this is desireable and sometimes it isn't! Maybe your art will communicate the thing better to someone than anything they've ever seen-- even if a more effective version could theoretically exist, the "imperfect" version that actually exists and communicates is all that matters to the observer. Or, maybe a feature that turned out exactly how you wanted it to will fly completely over an observer's head, and not have the effect you wanted at all. A lot of the time, you'll never even know.

An artist can NEVER fully control an observer's perspective, so at a certain point you have to live with what you have. You already do this, to some degree, if you have ever EVER decided to stop working on a piece of art and share it. You can always keep adding to something. You can always keep editing. But sometimes, you stop. And perfection doesn't exist, so when you stop it must be because the art is good enough for now. And nothing about "good enough" is objective!

And is that really so bad? Surely people who grow fruit understand that a fruit which is smaller than they imagined can still feed somebody-- that at the very least it will feed bugs and microorganisms and be useful as fertilizer to grow more apples. Your art still means something, still accomplishes something, is still worth making whether it turns out how you imagined or not.

A lot of art is learning when to quit and move on. As a habitual perfectionist, this was something I had to learn early, to stop myself from erasing holes into every piece of paper I drew on.

There's this rule I was taught in middle school drama class: if you fuck up, act like you didn't fuck up. The audience doesn't have your script memorized, so odds are they won't have any idea you fucked up unless you tell them. Other art works the same way. No one knows what you wanted to make but you. And more importantly, a "perfect" version of your art doesn't exist (no "perfect" version of anyone's art exists, or ever will).

The version you made exists, so you have to find what's worth loving about that version. You have found what's worth loving in the imperfect art of others many times. Many observers will treat your art the same way you treat others' art. Why not treat your own art that way, too?

It sounds really REALLY corny, but I try not to think of this as embracing "mistakes." I think of it as celebrating coincidences.

I really really like coincidences. I like that every circumstance wasn't guaranteed to happen, that everything comes down to chance. I think all the little random things are beautiful because they turned out however they did, and not any of the millions of other ways things might have turned out. It's a coincidence that my genes expressed the way they did. It's a coincidence that my parents met in college. It's a coincidence that my oldest friend and I both got to middle school early every day, and stayed close even when we didn't share any classes.

Art is full of coincidences! I try to draw a straight line. The line does not turn out straight, because of the way my hand is shaped and the way my muscles contracted, because my body is not exactly like anyone else's in the world. No one else would have drawn that slightly not-straight line just exactly how I did. It's mine, and it's crookedness is what makes my art mine. Okay, maybe it's a little too crooked for what I want this time-- I'll erase it and draw a new crooked line at a bit of a different angle. There we go, I like that! Now it's my beautiful, irreplaceable crooked line! And the ghost of its predecessor guides the eye just so, and no one else's two crooked lines would guide your eye the same way, only mine! Isn't that nice on its own? Just to have made something that can't ever be replicated? To have made something no one else has ever made before?

You can also apply this in a bit less dreamy and more practical ways, I promise haha.

For example...I've never been a canvas flipper, as a digital character artist. I don't mirror my canvases to see if they still look preportional to me from either direction. I also don't usually draw visual novel character sprites that need to look good mirrored in either direction to serve their function, so it's never been a practical concern of mine.

I consider many kinds of distortion on a character I've drawn to be a good part of the visual flow of the image. Like a smear frame in animation, distoriton in the right places can make character art look dynamic and energized because it can lead the eye through a certain visual flow over the form of the character. If I were to flip the canvas, that eye-leading effect might hit differently because my American eye is used to reading from left to right-- perhaps it doesn't feel as "smooth" going in the opposite direction. This doesn't mean I need to change the distortion necessarily, it just means I prefer not to flip the canvas.

Often, these distortions aren't intentional. They're a coincidence of how my muscles move as I draw, and the areas my left-to-right American eyeballs instinctively pay more attention to. But the effect is still desireable to me. So, happy coincidence!

I think...that's the best I've got for now? Feel free to ask for clarification. I hope it's not total nonsense!

[karniss-bg3]

I would like to hear your thoughts about Larian giving Kar’niss female pedipalps?

Personally I feel like it was just another f you from Lolth

Alright so, this is a complicated and detail-heavy topic. For that reason I’ll be splitting this theory into two sections: Technical Aspects & Lore. There will be a TL;DR at the bottom.

Technical Aspects

Kar’niss is a complex model and I imagine the rigging on him was wild. To my understanding his walking animation was done by hand which makes sense. His torso could be motion captured but the arachnid portions needed to be moved in engine. The best time to witness the separation is if you play music for him as a bard. His torso will bob and sway the same as the rest of the NPCs but his legs stay perfectly stationary. I do get a kick out of the idea of the Larian devs trying to put a tiny motion capture suit on a spider but alas.

I bring this up because the pedipalps add an extra layer of complication that the devs didn’t really need. In fact the concept art for driders doesn’t include them at all which suggests they weren’t part of the original design. A lot changed from concept art to the final version it seems. He used to have extra arms, his legs were longer, and his facial features were more twisted. His skin was also darker but it was either changed because he is a Szarkai or because his skin tone blended too heavily with the color of the chitin.

This would align with a lot of the concept art from D&D. There are many examples of driders without pedipalps, both male and female.

All that said, when it comes to the technical aspects, I have a theory as to why the original and final designs were so vastly different: Time. Kar’niss is one of the more detailed models in the game and even the final version didn’t turn out perfect. If you look closely at where his torso attaches to the spider body you can see some model tearing when he turns at certain angels, as well as what I refer to as “tubing”. I’ve seen this in a few games and it’s where limbs or portions of a body thin out to an impossible degree and they look like a squeezed out tube of toothpaste. This could be due to improper skeleton models, broken seams or rigging but as I don’t work in the industry those are my best guesses.

When you have a strict budget and time limit sometimes a development team has to cut some fat. They didn’t have the time to add in the extra arms, super long limbs or highly detailed face model. Perhaps they looked at the final design and weren’t satisfied with the lack of monster features. Thus, the pedipalps were introduced. But since drider are canonically sexless they designed the palps in such a way that they were made for battle; hence the sharp barb present at the tip of each. They are located face level for most races which make them perfect eye gougers or maybe they use them to subdue prey. Palps are also used to “taste” in most spider species and he could likely use them to discern if prey is edible or not.

“Pedipalps contain sensitive chemical detectors and function as taste and smell organs, supplementing those on the legs”

As for why they are female in design the simplest answer I have is that it was an oversight. If they were already scrambling to finish the model then they were likely going for the path of least resistance. Male pedipalps would’ve required a bit more work and either they didn’t think that much about it or chose the easiest design to model. I know about the Kar’niss is trans theory and I’ll be touching on that in the next section.

Lore

Anyone who has followed me for a while knows I’ve discussed drider lore a lot here so I’ll try to be a bit more brief in this section. Drider are meant to be sexless as Lolth didn’t wish for them to reproduce and rise up against Her. If Larian’s design of the palps were with intent then I believe we’re looking at Jurassic Park situation here. Maybe Lolth’s manner of birth control was to make all spider bodies female regardless of the gender of the drow who is changed. It would also align with the Matriarchal society drow come from as well as Lolth choosing to make driders in “Her image”. So yes, a “fuck you” from Lolth would be accurate in this case. The issue I run into is that Kar’niss is the only drider model in-game and so I have nothing to compare him to. I don’t know if all driders in this universe look the same or if there would’ve been a difference between females and males. It leaves it all up to pure speculation, sad to say.

There is a theory that’s been around for a while now that Kar’niss is transgender. While I think it’s a perfectly fine theory I don’t necessarily agree with it. It’s not because I’d be against him being trans, it’s more that I can’t find enough evidence to support it. For starters if he is trans, is he a trans man or a trans woman? We’ve learned that Kar’niss is a female name according to drow naming conventions and of course his palps suggest a female body. The name can be explained as an act of defiance as it is stated that if a man takes on a womans name they are considered troublemakers. If he is a trans woman, why would he ever allow himself to be misgendered?

There are several NPCs that refer to him as “he” and Kar’niss never once barks at them. It’s not as if he’s shy and in fact he’s proven to have quite the temper. He no longer follows nor worships Lolth and he’s under the protection of the Absolute, a cult that allegedly loves and accepts him. Why hide himself as a trans woman under these conditions? Especially in a game that is very progressive in terms of character creation and pronoun usage.

If he is a trans man then the spider body becomes a moot point. Did he transition before the drider transformation or did Lolth change his sex but slap on the female spider body as a way to mock him? Is that why he was changed? I imagine in a drow society where being a woman is a big deal having one that wanted to become a male, a lesser, would be the talk of the Underdark. I’m sure it’s worse for men who want to be women as that could be seen as “rising above their station”. It’s hard to say as modern day gender identity isn’t really addressed in drow lore.

There is a trans woman in Baldur's Gate 3 that the player meets during Shadowheart’s storyline. It can be easy to miss as her past isn’t revealed unless Shadowheart consumes the noblestalk Tav picks up in the Underdark. This is an excerpt from Nocturne’s journal.

“I am Nocturne. I think as her. I see her when I look in the mirror. I can't remember the last time someone called me by the wrong name - Shadowheart has been swift to gently correct slips of the tongue, and even swifter in challenging those who'd use my forsworn name in malice. I'm lucky to have her as a friend. “

While it seems she had trouble in the beginning, those under Shar came to accept her in time as far as I can tell. With this we can at least say that Larian has no issues adding in trans characters but Kar’niss doesn’t receive this treatment. Another thing to note is that Nocturne is voiced by a trans woman, Abigail Thorn. Where as Kar’niss is voiced by, what I assume to be, a cisgender male. In my mind if Larian would take that much time and care for accuracy wouldn’t they do the same for Kar’niss?

With all of that said if people have the headcanon that Kar’niss is trans that is a-okay, I have no issues with that or any other character! It’s simply a theory I don’t personally subscribe to because the elements don’t line up well enough for me. But hey if they ever expand on his story and he is trans that’d be cool. I don’t know if there is a trans man elsewhere in-game so it’d be nice to see that representation there.

Phew, that was far longer than I anticipated but I hope I covered the topic well enough as it has been debated quite a bit in the fandom. Once again I want to express that I believe folks are allowed to write and draw these characters how they see fit. It’s fantasy fun folks, go wild and enjoy your faves as you desire.

TL;DR: I think the female pedipalps are a technical oversight and were only added in to give Kar’niss a more monstrous appearance or to round out his design. I don’t believe he is trans due to the lack of evidence to support the theory. If Lolth had any bearing on the spider body it was likely to prevent reproduction or in an effort to make driders in her image. Overall, the pedipalps are more up to interpretation than hard evidence.

[oacest]

one of the things about noel i noticed since i got deep into the oasis lore is that there are multiple instances where he goes through some kind of transformation or at least changes how he presents himself to the world.  here are the ones i’ve learned so far:

when his "love for oasis put him back into the closet" to be the leader of the laddish rnr band after years of being his queer self frequenting hacienda, listening to the smiths and being a roadie for inspirals

when he "wasn't suicidal or anything" going into hiding with a girl he’d just met and shaved his head after his dream of making it in america crushed (iirc there was a quote from someone that said something like noel seemed like a different person after that, but i can’t find it)

when he had a few panic attacks and quit drugs all together

according to liam he "has changed as a person" and is "part of the establishment" post breakup (or already in the band's later years?)

am i missing anything? also how do you think noel will act in front of audience/media post reunion? all we have rn is liam’s tweets, which are pretty much unreliable...

yeah, he's definitely been through it! imo there's no grand design to any of these instances, they're all pretty standard (in timing and scope, if not in general likelihood for the average person lol) stage-of-life things. being a shy moody teen/early 20s -> discovering the social/personal confidence-boost of drugs -> becoming famous (specifically for something he worked really hard at and was proud of) are pretty huge things to occur right at that already volatile time of life.

and then obviously yeah the massive disappointment of the whiskey incident (and his investment in ~*breaking america*~ being crushed) -> i think perhaps a sudden fundamental understanding (or belief) that it was more him-against-the-world than the-band-against-the-world (i THINK that quote you're thinking of re him being "a different person" is from tim abbot's book...). quitting drugs, in varying stages, and the panic attacks, big time. i'd say becoming a father even more transformative than any of these things, really. but all pretty normal stuff to occur in the process of one's life, more or less.

he's always had an incredibly strong and clear core of personality, intention, and belief system, even more than a lot of people. it's never particularly wavered beyond some details dependent on context. liam complains a lot about him "selling out" or whatever, but it's just that noel a) loves attention and socialising b) loves being recognised and lauded for his music c) knows how to play the game d) has, as aforementioned, an extremely strong internal locus of control/self and simply doesn't react the same way to critcism or other people's opinions as liam does, for better or worse. liam sees the things noel does as greedy self-betraying selling out, noel sees the things liam does as humourless self-absorbed inflexibility. neither of them are necessarily WRONG, they just love to consistently believe the most bad-faith interpretation of each other's actions. #siblings.

all this to say, i see no reason at all to think noel will be different during oasis reunion than he has been at any other point. he'll no doubt drop some degree of the estrangement charade he and liam have been engaging in for x-number of years, but in no way is he going to undergo any sort of personality transplant. he's going to be a sassy little hot bitch onstage just the way he has been for the past ~20 years. he and liam are just going to have to work out some kind of timeshare program for who gets to yap at the audience when, i guess. back to the good old days of squabbling overtop each other at their mics between songs!

[goodlucksnez]

cw: Swearing (a lot-its baku yall), mentions of toxic past, door slamming, holdback, Ice freezing sound effects, todo/baku implied, b/aku trying to be nice, and apologizing (character growth okay), K/ink Baku implied

The past week it has been over 100 degrees and i wanted to bring that to a wav so who better then T/odo and B/aku-Enjoy!!

Next wav: Ha//zbin

Transcript

Jesus. fucking God. mother fucking piece of shit *slams door*

Good afternoon Bakugou

 Oi shut up. I'm in no fucking mood.

 Is everything alright?

 No fucking Strawberry Shortcake. It's not fucking all right. It's 100° outside and I have to fucking go on patrol while you lounge around

Are you upset at me?

Wow. Whatever made you think that? I am covered in sweat. You're lucky and no one decided to Light a match near me or ill blow up half the damn city. Oh my God. Fuck summer. Fuck this. This is a bunch of fucking

Is your…..Emotions tied to the weather outside.

Don't even fucking start with me. Half and half. I'm in no fucking mood. It's hot as satan left testicle out there. OK, now fuck of while I take a fucking shower.

Only his left.

*slams door*

 Ohh yeah. Wow, he was really mad.Well,I can help with that at least. I can cool it down in here. I guess I never really noticed it. It's slightly warm. Well. Hopefully this will make a difference to him.

Why the fuck do I walk outside? It's hundred and fucking.*slips on ice* What the hell is this icy hot? Why the fuck is the living room a god damn ice rink?

So you're upset when you're both too hot and too cold.

You not mad that it's fucking a ice rink. I'm mad because this is my god damn living room and you're fucking it up. Melt this crap.

I apologize I.*sneeze* Thought you wanted it to be colder?

I want it to not be 101 fucking degrees outside doesn't mean it needs to be negative fucking 50, fucking idiot. I swear. You don't have a fucking brain in there

I apologize bakugou.

 Ohh, don't fucking Bakugou me.

 It is your name, is it not?

 Oh, my God. You fucking piss me off so much. You fucking know that.

I apologize.

Was that the people of the fucking world didn't fuck up the air this much? I wouldn’t be so mad, OK?

Would you like a frozen dairy product?

Are you fucking asking me if I want ice cream?

Yes.

Get the god damn cookies and cream and don't say shit

*eating ice cream*

 Don't fucking look at me like that.

I apologize

don't get me started.

 I'm confused. Is the ice cream not helping you cool down?

Really pushing your luck there.

I don't understand.

This is hard enough, OK.

Oh, would you like me to melt it for you

 not the fucking ice cream!! this, feeling. I feel bad about how I acted.

OK.

Fuck I'm sorry, OK? I was just hot and annoyed at that. I'm sorry, I shouldn't-Have yelled at you. OK. Ohh you don't need.

Don't finish that fucking sentence. I was in the wrong you're in the right. Happy now.

Not really. You still look.*sneeze* what?

What the hell did you just do?

I'm…sitting here looking at you.

No, the fucking convulsion. What the fuck was that?

 I sneezed.

You what?

Uhm, I sneezed.

Since when do you fucking sneeze?

I am a human. I have bodily functions just like the rest of us.

You sure? Because half the time you act like a damn robot.

I*sneeze* I assure you I am quite human. Pardon.

What the hell is wrong with you? I've known you for five fucking years. I don't think I've ever seen you fucking sneeze.

You most likely have. You just probably didn't notice you kind of Live in your own

 don't change the fucking subject on me. Let me rephrase. The god damm question. Why are you fucking sneezing?

 Oh, what it may have to do with the ice show earlier.

What?

 My internal body temperature is regulated by both the ice and the fire that I control within myself within my center. When one Is more prominent than the other. It can cause side effects. More likely than not, when I overheat. I have a hard time cooling myself down. When I am freezing, it's harder to warm myself up. Causes painful memories. Over the years, I've gotten better at controlling my regulations.

 That's not how this works.

You make sweat that can explode. I don't think this needs to be scientifically proven.

 So what your ices makes you fucking sneeze. Then what was with the fucking Ice show just trying to show off.

 I was trying to make you cool. *sneeze* Pardon me. Evidently I seem *snneze*.

 You fucking short circuit, if that's what the fuck you did.

I prefer the term got out of balance, but I guess you could Compare it to a AI misfiring. I mean, if you think about it,

don't. Go all fucking nerd on me. What? What do I fucking do? Do I stick you outside?

 I'm not a rabid animal bakugou. It's fine, it's just. Just some sneezing.

You'll probably be over that fucking faster if you actually let your body do it.

 Excuse me.

 You're holding them in. Your body is trying to obviously, fucking expel something. Let it do its job. Why are you shortening its lifespan?

Did you just refer to A bodily function as having a lifespan. Now he's being weird.

Oh, everyone thinks you're so gid damn analytical. No one realized. How fucking savage you can be.

You got that hitching shit like deku. Do I have to flick your nose too.

If I didn't know better, I would say you're enjoying this

shut up. I'm not enjoying this. It's just rare, OK.

You fucking stifle again. I will fucking. Come over there.

Pardon me.

Bless.

What was that

Fuck off

[aphroditelovesu]

First of i have to say i absolutely love your work also idk if you accept requests right now but if you do can you write a yandere Xavier Thorpe with a innocent Darling it can be a HC or imagines whatever you're most comfortable with.

''Nothing will hurt you as long as I'm here.'' - Xavier Thorpe.

❝🎻— lady l: this was very short but because it's not a ''hc general'' but I hope you like it the same way, anon! Ah, this is totally about the character and I don't support the controversies and accusations involving the actor or anything like that. After all, fiction is different from reality, so I hope that's okay with you guys. And thank you so much for the compliment! I love to read this kind of comment, always helps a lot! ❤️❤️

❝tw: obsessive and possessive behavior, overprotectiveness, reader is very ignorant, implied murder and a bit of non-consensual somnophilia (i guess?).

To say that Xavier finds it adorable how innocent you are of how naive you are is an understatement. He loves it, he adores it and extols it in you. It was that specific trait, your innocence, that drew him to you in the first place. From the moment he saw you, his thoughts were all directed towards you. He was enchanted for you, with your confused attitude when you didn't understand something or how cute you were when you were embarrassed. It was all so perfect and Xavier found himself with his eyes and thoughts on only one person: you.

Xavier likes to think of himself as your best friend and protector, he sees himself that way and no good can come if you break that illusion. He likes to take care of you, simple as that, it's one of his favorite hobbies to watch you from a distance making sure nothing and no one can hurt you. It's scary, honestly, having him watching you all the time but he can be discreet when he wants to, so you're unlikely to find out.

The way he takes care of you can vary depending on the degree of danger he imagines you're involved in, as if it's something that could end your life, Xavier will be relentless in keeping you as far away as possible or even arresting you to somewhere safe. He will have to deal with your anger after doing this, but you're better off alive than dead. He can't even imagine you being hurt or killed, just the thought of something bad happening to you sends him into a frenzy. Nothing will hurt you as long as he's here.

Your naivety sometimes pisses him off to the core too, although he loves that about you, he could also hate it a lot. It's ridiculous sometimes how innocent you are, how pure you are and that's the cause of so many problems. You're basically a walking magnet for trouble and it annoys him a lot because no matter how hard he tries to keep you safe you always end up getting involved in something dangerous, even if it's not on purpose. It's almost like you do it on purpose, like you want to make him angry and he gets pissed about it, but he always forgives you eventually. Thorpe can't resist your beautiful smile. That's his biggest weakness, your smile, or even better, everything about you.

He's not subtle at all around his obsession with you, in fact, Xavier doesn't try to disguise how obsessed he is with you, how his obsession grows more and more and he can't contain himself any longer and honestly, he doesn't. want to hold himself back. He needs you, constantly, he needs reassurance that you need him as much as he needs you. Xavier is that kind of person that if he can totally control you, he will. Not because he wants you to be manipulated to his will, but because he can be sure that nothing will happen to you as long as you listen to him. If he has the chance and the opportunity, he will try to push away everyone he thinks is ''dangerous'' to you. He just wants what it's best for you, is that so wrong?

As you can see, he is madly protective of you, of your innocence. He won't be able to sleep peacefully if he's not sure you're okay, that you're safe and warm. Without you knowing it, many nights, he will invade your room just to watch you sleep, he feels at peace listening to your light breathing and watching how your chest rises with each breath. Those things soothed him because they reminded him that you were alive. That you are fine and safe. Xavier won't admit it, but he has a habit of smiling like a lovesick fool when he watches you sleep. You've really got it wrapped around his fingers, haven't you? After all, Xavier will never refuse a request from you, he can't bring himself to do it.

Xavier is quite possessive of you, but he tries not to show it because he doesn't want to make you upset with his jealousy. He tries to be as subtle and calm about it, but it's pretty obvious to onlookers how upset he gets when someone gets too close to you. Thorpe will stare with hateful glares and is clearly itching to pummel someone, but he will remain calm. He tries, however, for you. He doesn't want to scare you. Never. You don't have to be afraid of him, he could never hurt someone as innocent and precious to him as you are. Xavier is pretty self-contained when he's jealous, but he can still act recklessly if someone crosses a line with you, in which case he doesn't have any control over himself and what happens to that person. And he will not regret the acts he will commit.

Xavier Thorpe loves you with all his heart whether it's platonic or romantic, you are everything to him and you will always be the most important person in his life. He will love to draw you or use his powers to impress you and will feel proud of himself when he sees you excited when he does something for you. He likes to see you happy, your smile, in his opinion, makes the environment you are in much brighter. He idolizes you, in a way, and he's flattered to be able to witness you, to be able to be by your side all the time because that's what he does. He loves and hates your innocence and naivety at the same time and with the same intensity, but that's what makes you so special and he would never change that about you. Xavier cares for you and will always look out for you, even if you never realize it. He will always be here for you.

[cozymochi]

Cozy, you matter a lot. Perhaps you don't see it but I see it in the community that value you so much-- not just from your works but also just your rambles. You bring so much joy to us with your drawings, and personally I'm too shy to approach ppl in general but whenever you share your rambles I take note of what you say and understand your insights. There's a lot going on right now both inside and outside the internet, and that's possibly a factor to how you feel right now. But I swear, things will get better. I would love to hear you ramble more. I find joy in your words, and your craft.

Please don't undermine your value, you're truly a pleasant person to see here! <3

You are very correct that I do not see it, and I know this came in 2 days ago under a separate circumstance from offline state-of-the-world-things out of mine nor anyones control despite a decades worth of trying suddenly bubbling up all at once (and frankly, i dont have it in me to bother anymore in fighting “the fight” so to speak on THAT end, others might and good for them, but i’ll take the L until its my turn again in 2 years. I’m tired.)

But, today in particular I just had a reminder today that, yes. I still don’t feel valued nor that I matter around here this online space in particular.

I could put my entire everything into something and it won’t matter because there is more important stuff and people. I could ramble about trivial fandom stuff, but I don’t really have it in me to bother keeping it up for longer than an hour (if that), cuz I am just one, frankly insignificant person who has nothing interesting to share. I can’t imagine reading any of this is remotely pleasant at that ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ I guess will just never understand what others are seeing nor get their claims to the contrary

thanks for saying so though, it still takes a lot of guts to do and sorry I can’t really live up to that

Also sorry I don’t post enough art either for those content fixes, that’s the stuff people actually want to varying degrees. For a supposed artist im not really much of one at all

[bestworstcase]

hi, I was the anon who asked this: [Which led me thinking, Yang has a lot of parallels with the villains, notably, Adam, Cinder, and Salem. What do you think is the ideal route of Yang during volume 4?] I probably didn't phrase that right. Uh, I was a bit dissatisfied with Yang's arc at volume 4. I know it wasn't supposed to be comfortable since it shows Tai's and Yang's traumas but it wasn't the good kind of bad. I guess I wanted more things to be added to Yang's arc in volume 4 or for some things to be slightly adjusted. Like in the DC comics, there was a character named Madame Mallari who helped Yang, she's an old lady who's a doctor and has prosthetic legs. It got me thinking that if she really was supposed to be part of canon then why show it late? If there are other people who can give Yang support then why didn't they show it at Vol 4? What if something bad happened to Yang while Tai was at Signal (it is to my belief that Signal was still operational since it was located in Patch)?

I am just uncomfortable with it especially when the show frames that it's somehow Yang's fault for rushing at Adam when there is no either choice left. I admit that it may be quite unreasonable for me to think like that. Anyways, sorry for the rant.

Uh, did you know that magical artifacts in RWBY existed? It was established in one of the games. Apparently, one of the artifacts was capable of controlling some Grimm and it was wielded by one of Salem's agent in Mistral. It got me thinking that since magic is hereditary, does that mean one of the Schnee's ancestor got an artifact and somehow made their semblances hereditary and the same throughout the generations?

this is an older post, but i still stand by it.

i don’t disagree with (most) of your take on her v4 arc: i don’t think the narrative framing is at all that it’s yang’s fault she got hurt, and i also (as outlined in the linked post) don’t think we’re intended to agree with tai’s assessment of what he saw in yang during the vytal tournament fights, which is what he bases his advice on because that’s the only thing he saw, but yang’s isolation and the dearth of support she receives during this very vulnerable time in her life are indeed uncomfortable. my feeling though is that discomfort is a feature, not a bug.

like, in V2, yang recounts one of her childhood memories to blake that involved her waiting for tai to leave the house before she put her three- or four-year-old baby sister in a wagon and left to wander through the woods for hours before anyone found them. yang would have been five or six years old. so we know that tai often left the girls at home alone when they were very young. probably he was leaving to go to work, a predictable circumstance with a regular schedule, so why didn’t he arrange childcare during the day? why didn’t they go to a neighbor’s house or a daycare or preschool? why didn’t he hire a babysitter? why leave two very small children at home alone in a cabin in the middle of grimm-infested woods?

there’s a through line between tai’s neglect of the girls back then and the way he treats yang in V4. and in V4, it is abundantly clear that yang does not feel comfortable enough with her dad to show him emotional vulnerability or rely on him for… anything except combat training, really; the only time yang really opens up in V4 is with oobleck and port, who (unlike tai) ask her how she’s feeling and validate her feelings and are also visibly horrified by the really harsh way tai talks to his daughter.

i haven’t read the DC comics and my understanding is they’re not canon? but based on yang’s anecdote in V2 and what tai does in V4, i think the answer to “if yang was supposed to have more support, why didn’t it happen in V4?” is probably that she wasn’t; and the answer to “why didn’t she get more support” is that tai is neglectful and also displaces how he feels about raven onto yang to a harmful degree. yang feels like he expects her to just pop on the prosthetic arm he surprised her with and magically be okay overnight because that is… how tai acts.

in a lot of ways it’s akin to what weiss goes through in V4—tai is not nearly as bad as jacques, but he is neglectful and his ‘tough love’ does hurt yang’s feelings and his singular focus on only her physical recovery does lasting emotional harm that she’s only now, in V9, beginning to confront. and in V5, weiss gets yang to open up with her by telling yang about her dad abusing her family and watching her mom disappear into an alcoholic shell of herself, which makes yang feel understood.

because weiss’ home life isn’t exactly the same but it resonates with yang; she and ruby grew up taking care of qrow when he was blackout drunk and their dad wasn’t around and didn’t make arrangements for them to be taken care of while he was working. and weiss—who is very empathetic and emotionally insightful, see also her clear and accurate understanding of why blake left—has picked up on enough hints, read enough between the lines of what little yang and ruby said about their dad at beacon, to have known this story would resonate.

like a big part the reason i like yang’s V4 arc is it explores the many ways tai fails her in a way that feels cogent with what we learned about him in V2. it shows both the acute trauma of having lost her arm but also the much subtler and more complicated scars of having been neglected and parentified by her dad throughout her life.

anyways!

i have watched the grimm campaign, yeah. the magical artifacts are interesting on the grounds that they rely on aura to activate them, same as dust, which imo supports my theory that aura is magic, just rising from the human soul rather than reliant on the gods, and that ancient humans did not have aura because it was suppressed or bound by the divine blessings.

i’m also inclined to think that there’s always or at least often a hereditary element to semblances, because they’re informed by a person’s nature and identity and those things are influenced by your family; the directly hereditary and also exceptionally versatile schnee semblance is i think probably the result of a really strong identification with the family and a belief in the hereditary semblance, with the versatility coming from individual variations getting passed down generation to generation. one schnee had a speed semblance, another could summon constructs of fallen foes, but it looked superficially similar so the schnees have always believed these diverse abilities to be the same semblance and taught each other how to do everything. belief makes it so. i think semblances are a lot more malleable than anyone gives them credit for, in or out of universe.

[ornii]

I have a funny/cute ask for you.

Wednesday somehow managed to fall in love but refuses to compromise any other part of herself. Except one thing: she is the most competitive at the arcade, especially the claw game.

Wednesday Addams does not come in second place.

A Great idea, so here’s: A Game of Life and Death! (Not Really)

Summary: Wednesday likes the crane game, she really likes the crane game.

Wednesday Addams hates a lot of things, Human interaction, Color, Bright things, sometimes you. While you two were obviously dating, she still wasn’t as content with the hugs and kisses you sometimes delivered, still a bit afraid she’s going to bite back. But having a terrifyingly high IQ, you were able to deduce her bluffs which also intrigued her to a certain degree. It all eventually came to a head as a new arcade was opening in Jericho after a few, disasters which included the near death of all students.

Entering the Establishment, like a dark cloud Wednesday was at your side. You two analyzed the room to the machines and games.

“It’s a Nerds Wet dream, isn’t it?” You say with a smile, Wednesday could see how oddly content you were within this place. “I suppose I could understand the appeal for someone of your intellectual feats, yet I still find it abysmal.” She says you casually adjust your glasses a bit higher and motions for her to lead.

“Please, the pleasure is all mine to show you the amazement of video games.” You say and show her around, arranging the clsssic video games, Dig Dug, Contra, PAC MAN. She’s never even seen Pac-Man before. You stand there, rambling on about how Pac-Man revolutionized games and the importance of preserving old games for future generations, and as expected Wednesday just stares into your eyes, she wasn’t very interested in video games or any sort, but she saw the joy in your eyes and as much as she despises joy and such emotion. She couldn’t bear take it from you, but something did catch her eye.

“(Y/n), Mi Amor… what is that?” She asks, and toy Turn your head to see what she’s looking towards and it was a crane game, the crane itself was dressed up like a ravens claw, and the gifts were also very creepy to boot, of course she’d love it. She walks over to it and softly presses her palm again the cold glass, you walk up behind her, seeing both of your reflections.

“It’s a Crane Machine, you use the controls to maneuver the claw to grab the items, standard cash grab game.” You say, “Wanna play?” You say, and show off a large sack of quarters you’ve been saving up, Wednesday scoffs. “Id never subscribe myself Go such mindless drivel.” She says.

An Hour and a Half Later

Wednesdays eyes were glued to the Glass as her hands angrily moved the crane hand around, her jaw clenched as she has spent around 40 bucks worth of quarters. You leaned against the crane watching her obsession slowly burn away her sanity, but as if by the luck of god himself she got one, the crane reaches down and clenches a small black heart plush and lifts it up, Wednesdays watches intently as if drops it down the hatch and to her feet, she takes it, and clenches it hard.

“I.. I did it…” she says, you chuckle and pat her shoulder. Leaning over her shoulder, “Yeah, I’m proud of you Babe. Can I play now?” You ask, Wednesday side steps, as Victory has never tasted so bitterly good for her.

“Of course, I doubt you have the ability to seal the qualms of fate that I have in order to obtain—“ she rambles on, until you insert one quarter, and effortlessly win a plush black bear for her. You hand it to your girlfriend with the most bittersweet smile. She takes it, absolutely speechless.

“Eh? I guess you could say my love for you is Un-bear-able, Eh? Eh?” You say, she looks down at the bear for a few moments but what was probably eons for her, and for the first time in your relationship she looked at you with such terrifying hatred in her eyes. This is the first time you’ve seen her genuinely Mad. She, without much effort tears the bears head off.

“Wednesday?” You ask, your voice shaking a bit as she slowly steps closer and closer to you.

“How? How did you do it?” She says with such scorn in her voice, I’ll vitriolic poison.

“W-what Are you talking about?” You say, slowly backing away as she approaches.

“Your infectious little game, you easily won this bear while I fought tooth and nail inside the gates of hell for this! And you laugh at me?” If words could kill you’d be burned to ash.

“Babe it’s not what you think, I’m just lucky..” you say and end up at the wall of the room, Wednesdays eyes were so devoid of emotion it felt like staring into the void of evil. You were prepared to accept your death, until you felt her palm aggressively grab yours.

“Weds?” You say.

“We, Are going to play, until I get another one.”

“But.. i thought you hated the game.” You respond and she walks with you.

“I refuse to be your lackey, I don’t do Second Place.”

“There’s no leaderboard for a crane game… babe I’m sorry it just comes easy…” you say, but she ignores you, and unfortunately you spend the rest of the day in a Crane game of Life and death. Which you still easily win.

The Day finally ends with you carting around a load of items Wednesday had won, after almost draining your life savings. But for the almost murder that occurred, you didn’t particularly hate it, and you just loved the time you spent with her, as you carry it into the dorm, Enid berates her with Questions and Wednesday answers calmly, but you could see the slightest smile on her face, which made it all with it.

Maybe you’ll bring her back next time, but, avoid the cranes next time.

[dumbass-learns-japanese]

How are we doing this

So, I decided to learn Japanese again. How will I do that?

Well, one thing that needs to be noted is that I already used to learn Japanese, once a upon a time. I think I used to be N3 level, but it kind of all fell apart because:

a) My bachelor's and (first) master's degree used to be in Japanese studies, and when you are learning a language like that, you are rarely learning just the language. Chances are, you are also learning about the culture of the language, the society in which it is predominantly spoken, art, literature, history (boy, did we have a lot of history courses), geography (we actually had to remember each and every name of every region and prefecture AND we had to be able to draw a map of Japan and mark each region and prefecture). The point is, you have a lot of things to do that are NOT learning the language.

b) The pandemic and online classes. That is all I will say on this, You understand.

c) I was stressed with coursework and life to the point I could not sleep and it sucked.

I am not making excuses for myseld (well, maybe a bit), but the thing is, I needed a break. And that break lasted for about 2 and a half years. So yeah, your language skills kind of evaporate when you don't use the said language often. It helps when you have literally no one to practice it with too. Go figure.

SO, WHAT IS THE POINT OF THIS?

The point of this is to say that I already have experience with Japanese language, meaning, I do not need to relearn hiragana and katakana because muscle memory. I also do not need to learn some basic phrases, like "good morning" or "I'm hungry". I also realized that I have some knowledge hiding in the mental basement of my mind that I just need to take out, blow the dust off and reactivate it.

Thus, I decided on the following approach.

Assume I don't remember anything and start from the top. The thing is, I don't know what I don't know until I come face to face with a specific word, grammar, kanji, whatever. We are going through everything, no matter how insignificant or simple it may seem.

Do not rely on apps alone. Phone is too accessible so it is tempting to assume I will just use one of the many designated apps whenever I have the time. I mean, I will, when I feel like it. But relying on just the apps and my impulse control (I've been kiiinda obsessed with NYT games, to the point of unhealthy) is not good enough.

Textbook, textbook, textbook. We used to use Minna no Nihongo in classes, but I decided I am a bit bored of Santos and the spoon and other peopel (if you used Minna no Nihongo, you know what I'm talking about. If you saw the video, extra points to you.), so I decided to try Genki. So far, so good. The tempo is a bit different, but I enjoy it.

As for the apps, we shall use the following (I have an Android, mind you): Akebi (for dictionary, very colorful, able to add words and kanji directly to Anki), Anki (flashcards, though I have been lazy with this one), Clozemaster (I like this one, has grammar explanations, game-like, colloquial Japanese, very nice), Hello Talk (when I get brave enough).

Practice listening. I have to start watching YT videos for this because when I just listen to music I get distracted by the vibes so I don't even try to figure out what the song is about.

That's it for now I guess. Have to get brave enough to try speaking/texting in Japanese, and practice listening. Reading is so far good, writing too, I am pretty confident I could pass N5 test, but let's finish Genki textbooks first, just so I can say I actually know something, that I'm not just guessing and getting lucky.

Good luck to me.