#they are eating the space in my brain for everything relevant

[syzthefrizz]

Tips for writing dream sequences (from someone who has really vivid, weird dreams on a frequent basis)

My biggest pet peeve with fictional dream sequences is that they make too much sense!! They're too relevant! There's not enough random crazy stuff! That's not always unrealistic per se, but you are missing out on some of the fun ways you can reveal information about your character's mindset, fears, struggles, and future.

Most of my dreams have a goal or objective driving the plot, and it's usually urgent. Ex. "escape the huge storm on the horizon", "find a place to sleep for the night in an unfamiliar town", "find a bathroom". This is especially true of stress dreams.

Everything going on in the dream makes perfect sense to you during the dream. It doesn't feel like reality per se, but you think it is. You're living in a house full of vampires that could eat you at any moment? Seems legit.

Emotions and situations from the dreamer's life can/will find their way into dreams, with varying levels of subtlety. The dream could be about the stressful event itself, or it could be some sort of exaggerated metaphor. Ex. I was worried about whether I was a competent CS major while I was still trying to find a summer job/internship, and I was worried about what my professors must think of me. Such a good student on paper, still without summer plans. I dreamed that I ran into my professors all having lunch together at a restaurant (during a dream with a completely different storyline), and I was wearing my pajamas. They judged me.

Certain things are very hard to do in dreams. This could vary from person to person. For me, it's always driving (the brakes never work right), flying (I can't stay off the ground for very long), and running (it's like trying to run through waist-deep water).

People with PTSD may dream about the traumatic event happening differently than it actually happened. (Take this one with a grain of salt - I don't suffer from PTSD, I just research it sometimes so my blorbos can suffer accurately).

You can have a string of loosely connected or disconnected dream sequences back to back, each with an entirely different plot, setting, etc.

People can have reoccurring themes or plotlines in their dreams, which are often connected to their lives/psyche somehow. I frequently dream about running away from tornadoes and being in situations where there's some catastrophe coming but I'm the only one who understands that there's a problem and nobody will listen to me.

It's common for me to have a dream setting that I KNOW is someplace I'm familiar with, but it doesn't actually look like that place at all. Ex. "I dreamed that we were at my house, but it didn't look like my house..."

Dreams can end in cliffhangers. Sometimes I wake up right before I'm about to eat something delicious.

Sometimes people have dreams about doing things that they would never, ever do in real life, and they wake up feeling disgusted. This is Not a manifestation of their secret desires (*glares at Freud*).

Images are the most memorable parts of dreams. I forget the specific plot points, but I can still picture dozens of liminal spaces my brain has created, even years after I dreamed about it.

Dreams will fade from memory very quickly unless the dream had a strong impression on you, you write details about it down or you tell someone about it before you forget.

If you realize you're dreaming during your dream, sometimes you can control the dream going forward. This is called lucid dreaming. I've done it accidentally a couple times, and it's really hard to "hold on" to the dream and control it. I usually wake up soon after starting. With practice, you can get better at it.

Sometimes a normal/good dream can turn into a nightmare, and vice versa. Most of my dreams aren't really good or bad, they're something in between.

Your subconscious brain is CRAZY intuitive. We can argue over the existence of prophetic dreams (I've heard so many crazy stories), but at the end of the day, your subconscious brain knows things that you don't consciously know. If your character is in love with someone, their subconscious brain will know even if the character doesn't. Relationship problems? Deepest darkest fears and insecurities? Your brain knows. A dream predicted the downfall of my first relationship eight months before it happened, down to the reason why we failed. You can absolutely foreshadow this way. A character might subconsciously know what the consequences of their or other people's actions will be, understand things about the situation they're in, know things about the people they're interacting with, and more, despite their conscious realizations.

There are plenty of ways to make a dream sequence relevant to your story, but don't forget to add in some fun, random details. Character A is secretly in love with Character B? Have Character A dream about Character B confessing feelings to them while in a Vine Nostalgia themed restaurant over a plate of mac-n-cheese. The details are the fun part, and you can get as weird as you want. I once ran into my aunt in a dream, and she was wearing a backpack with a bunch of (fake?) hands sticking out of it, making a fan that rose above her back behind her head like some sort of peacock feather costume piece. I was so freaked out that I woke up. I dare you to get weirder than that.

Not everyone's brain works the same way. I have vivid, random, detailed, memorable dreams on a frequent basis. When I describe them to people they often ask "what were you on?". My roommate only remembers her dreams when they're nightmares. I have some friends who say they don't dream. Other friends have really boring, mundane dreams about their normal lives. Some people have weird dreams but only once in a blue moon. It's a good idea to decide off the bat what kinds of dreams your character has, and how often they remember them.

That's it for now, but I might make a part two if I think of more things to add. Feel free to reblog with your own personal dream expertise!

[befuddledcinnamonroll]

Top 10 Things I Love About the QL Tumblr Community 2023

I'm loving everyone's end of year lists, and decided to make up one of my own.

I haven't been on Tumblr for very long and was originally just lurking. 2023 marks the year where I finally started posting, after I read a take that made me feel compelled to come to a fictional character's defense. (Saengtai, my poor little blorbo).

So in commemoration of my first proper year of active tumblring, I present what I love about this community (in no particular order).

(Side note - Technically I know this is still primarily a BL community, but I like to say QL because I am trying to manifest more lesbians for us.)

1) The Gifmakers

Y'all are a good 70% of the reason I joined Tumblr in the first place. There are so many show moments that I want to relive, but without having to search through videos. Sometimes I want to appreciate the aesthetics. Sometimes I want to remember adorable or goofy moments. Sometimes I just want to see cute boys eating each other's faces. Our gifmakers give all of that to us, with the addition of so much creativity and style.

There's too many amazing ones to mention everyone, but I have to shout out @sparklyeyedhimbo, because the way your brain works makes me so happy.

2) The expertise

The other part of why I joined Tumblr was to learn more about what BLs were out there and what I might be missing. And holy hell. Y'all are putting in the work. Not only lists and resources for finding all kinds of QLs, like these fabulous monthly breakdowns by @gunsatthaphan, but also amazing posts that add additional context, like @absolutebl's incredibly helpful breakdown of Asian honorifics. There is so much research people do, for fun! And then they share it!

3) The meta analysis

I frickin love reading people's takes and analyses on series. I love learning, I love seeing perspectives from people with different cultural backgrounds to my own, it's all so fascinating! There's so much context we can miss due to our own privileges, or lack of knowing about various cultures, or due to whatever bubbles we've been living in. People here are just so smart, and nuanced, and willing to reflect and think about things, and also push back at each other, but generally with respect (except when you call out the dumb shit you see, usually on Twitter or TikTok, where people are being reductive and dumb about gender and sexuality).

And I've seen a few takes where people complain about analyses, and say that the director/production doesn't do everything deliberately, and we're all reading too much into it. To which I say, eh, lighten up. How people connect to and relate to media has relevance beyond what was intended. The point is we get to think and discuss and learn and grow. That doesn't happen if we don't analyze.

Special shout out here to @respectthepetty because colors mean things!

4) The wild theories

The other side of the analysis coin, the clown cars y'all drive around in with the wildest of theories. I have happily climbed into an occasional clown car, and usually I am utterly wrong (*cough* Saifah *cough*). But it's a super fun ride. I love seeing how people's brains work. I love it when y'all are wrong. I love it when y'all are right. It's beautiful.

5) Immediate acceptance

I am one of those people who knows that I have a lot of good qualities, and also, always kind of expect rejection. Blame the childhood bullies, I guess. Anyway, whenever I delve into a new space, I still feel like a total dork that no one will want to talk to. It's kind of a fraught way to move through the world, but I manage.

Anyway, I started posting my thoughts as they came up, and people are just totally cool with it. People even follow me sometimes. Even my silliest thoughts and dumbest jokes get at least a couple likes. It's so validating.

And my very silly joke about gay mafia in Kiseki has over 800 likes. I feel very seen.

6) Mutuals

I still kind of can't believe I have any. This ties in to the dork feeling above, but seriously - they are soooo cooooool. They're smart and awesome and funny, and they somehow find me worth following back, which is baffling yet wonderful. I want to squish their faces and give them many kisses (if they're into that kind of thing).

7) The self-exploration

I really appreciate how it's become more talked about how a lot of people are discovering queerness through BL, because that is so the case for me. I think it's both that I was in a bit of a hetero bubble before, and also that I'm evolving a bit as I age. I had figured out I was demi, and maybe a little bit gay, before getting in to BL, but being in this community, and seeing so many of you share so openly and freely, has made me realize it might be more than a little bit.

Either it was a new realization, or being around y'all has made me more gay. Win win, either way.

8) The weirdness

I'm weird. Y'all are weird. I love it.

9) The thirst

So many in this community are thirsty as fuck, and as someone who is in that same condition, I love that it's not just me. There are not many places where I can freely admit how horny I am as a part of my general existence.

Here? I could post about wanting to lick some random BL actor's face, and it would get a bunch of likes and some tags like #lickable, and it's just not remotely a big deal.

Also the gifmakers understand this, and give us beautiful cuts of our spicy scenes. They are genuinely too good for us.

10) The communal watching experience

There is absolutely nothing like watching along with people in the community. It is so worth the torture of having to wait week to week for new episodes. Seeing the show trend, watching the theories fly fast and furious, or the way everyone collectively loses their minds over particular moments. In a world that can feel very isolating, it's a very warm experience.

So there you go. Thank you all for being you. Here's to another year of QL shenanigans and losing our collective minds!

[lumine-no-hikari]

Dear Sephiroth: (a letter to a fictional character, because why not) #556

Oogh. Sephiroth. Today was a complete and total clusterfuck.

So. I woke up at around 7:30 so I could get ready and go to work. Which is cool and all. I went in expecting a relatively normal day. What I got was... kind of a madhouse.

...See, despite telling the relevant parties last week that I was only available on Monday, Friday, and Saturday, I was somehow put on the schedule for Thursday. I didn't know that until Thursday morning, so on Thursday morning, when Tr asked me if I was coming in, I had to remind her that I wasn't coming in until Friday. Which was fine, but... as it turns out, the schedule being messed up threw everything else off, and so, they were quite behind when I came in, and relatively tense from that.

Also... the space was an absolute disaster. There were baking racks everywhere, covered in used pans that should have been washed and trays that should have been put away. The recyclebox was overflowing because nobody broke down and flattened the cardboard boxes. There was a person from the maintenance department in there, trying her best to help, but she had no real clue what she was doing (because her first day trying to help was yesterday), and Tr ad Ka were too busy fulfilling cake orders and other odds and ends to help this woman. So before I could do anything else, I had to tidy up the space, get stuff out of the way, and show the lady how to do certain things in between.

Only after that, did I have time to try to fulfill the items in today's bake list. And even then, we were out of a number of things, and so not everything could be fulfilled in the quantities specified. What could be fulfilled was baked nonetheless, though, and later boxed, labeled, and put out on display. Of course, I had to also assist various customers of varying dispositions in the meantime, which isn't necessarily a bad thing, just... added more task-switching to a brain that's already challenged in the “executive functioning” department.

I got to help Tr mix and shape bread today, though:

She even got a few pictures of me as I worked; knowing I'd want them for today's letter; I didn't even have to ask!

I expected to be there for 4 hours. I stayed for 7. Of course, given that I had a prior engagement to attend later in the evening, this meant I was suddenly no longer able to play video games with my friend from this space like I wanted; by the time I got home, I was so ravenously hungry and dehydrated that it was impacting my mental state. That needed to be corrected immediately, so... I did that:

I discovered on the way out of the grocery that I didn't have my debit card on me. And so that also had to be looked for immediately after eating. I decluttered some in a effort to look for it. Fulfilled a few other household tasks along the way. And supported M a little; apparetly, Momma (one of our cats) managed to kill an entire freaking rabbit today, because it wandered like a lagomorphic little idiot into our backyard, despite the clear signs of predators being afoot. Momma apparently tore it apart in short order, and although J tried to take it to the local animal hospital, it was long gone before it even got in the car. M, understandably, was more than a little shaken up by this. And so he wanted to talk to me about it a little, help him process it. Apparently, he felt responsible because he was the one who let Momma out there, not knowing that the rabbit was hiding in the brush growing within the little area enclosed by our privacy fence. But he couldn't have known. And it shouldn't have been there, really.

Before I even had a chance to get out of my work clothes, it was time for me to attend my prior engagement. R's friends from out of town were visiting, and one of them had sent me a cute little letter with a Gengar sticker and a little notepad made of Pokemon cards. I've been weaving a tree on-and-off as thanks, but it wasn't ready yet. So I got there, and got to work with finishing it up:

...They seemed pleased with the finished product. I handed it to them, and... the look of wonder and joy on their face was pretty priceless, I gotta say.

I also shared with them the candy I got yesterday; it looks like little tiger's eyes, but it's really just matcha and houjicha flavored hard candy.

I wish I could give you some.

We had lots of merry conversation, and I was invited to go with them to our favorite all-you-can-eat sushi place. I really wanted to go, but... I have to go to work tomorrow. I can't afford to stay up past 11pm tonight, because tomorrow I must function. After work, An will visit for steamed salmon, mac-and-cheese, and sauteed zucchini and yellow squash.

...I have to function. I can't afford to lose sleep. So, as much as it pained me, I declined their invitation.

I got home and immediately began breathing life into today's wishes:

...New space paper. I will be out of space paper soon, and this makes me sad.

And now I'm here, writing to you. And I gotta say, after a day as insane as this one... it feels good to have you in my thoughts. Writing to you is kinda my safe place at this point.

...But. It's already 9:37pm. And I have so much left to do before bed. So... I'll end today's letter here.

I love you so much, and I hope you know it. I hope you can feel it in your bones. And with that feeling, I hope you'll make good choices out there. Choices that honor you and the people around you. Choices that will result in you and everyone else being alive, safe, and happy.

Stay safe and healthy out there, Sephiroth. I'll write again soon.

Your friend, Lumine

[kerubimcrepin]

Episode 11: The Hairy Arachelmet

First of all, Kerubim's cup is in a dangerous ass place. If he spills it, he will have burns.

Truly, if Ecaflip wasn't on his side, he would be long dead.

Second of all, love that he begins looking at Simone when she's on The Ladder That Looks Like It Will Fucking Kill You.

When I first noticed this moment, I assumed it was Kerubim y'know. Ogling her. But now, considering this is the only time in the whole scene he's looking at her, I think he's looking at her because she's on The Ladder That Looks Like It Will Fucking Kill You, and if she began to fall things would be bad.

Btw, the only pictures Keke has in his home, anywhere where it's visible, are of himself, Lou, or some random scenery.

There HAS to be something psychological going on here, considering he is a father and canonically, uh, really normal about it.

Like. Whatever the reason for having Joris call him grampycat is, is the same for not putting up any cute pictures of Joris.

Something-something, his canonical guilt about killing ("""killing""") Julith, perhaps? Perhaps, feeling a bit too old for fatherhood? Maybe both?

On one hand, YESSS RARE SIMONE FAILGIRL MOMENT + i love it when people who are supposed to be good at something are bad at it.

On the other hand... Kerubim, your upbringing single-handedly changed the course of Joris's life so much, that, as an adult huppermage man, he uses a "magic wand" (log) to bash in people's skulls.

Kerubim yells at him to stop, and he just immediately stops and salutes.

It's never explained why Joris does this all the fucking time in the series, (besides the fact that he has ADHD. (To me. In my brain. I decided that he has it.)) but I think Kerubim did some Pikmin-style parenting shit on him.

Except instead of Pikmin it was probably something like "let's pretend I am a commanding officer and you are a member of the Bontarian army."

Okay, so, this is a whole can of worms we'll get in now.

This text is the famous Lorem Ipsum placeholder. The first two words are exactly Lorem Ipsum. Yet, I am mentally ill enough to sit down and translate this all.

So, uh. Yeah. I translated it by hand. It was painful.

The interesting parts are: the first page is the usual Lorem Ipsum placeholder with random edits, spaces, and changes. The second page is the original Lorem Ipsum from Cicero's De finibus bonorum et malorum.

I may be wrong with some of the spaces, because of the way the letters that look like " : :: . " and their weird sizes.

But also... Who give a shit?

Obligatory food moment: he is eating grapes and bird legs. Maybe tofu, or maybe other bird that size.

He is so fucking stupid.

My friend @dullard had pointed out that the way Kerubim's system works is probably by assigning a number to a direction.

I am not good with numbers OR directions, so I hope he makes a post about this. Or sends me an ask.

All I can point out, in regard to this, is the often neglected connection of Ecaflips to scrying and predicting the future and destiny.

So yeah. For all intents and purposes, Kerubim, with his level of luck, maaaay be a bit of an, uh. Oracle.

Though, I think he'd be scandalized by this idea I'm proposing here.

I suppose this episode's story takes place after the story in the episode 38, Dragokart Race, where Kerubim becomes a second place Dragokart champion.

Is this in any way relevant? No. Welcome to my blog, where I talk about literally the most useless Dofus facts. Anyway.

Adding to the list of Implied Adventures We Never See:

Literally everything to do with Atcham.

Kerubim working with Arachnees some more.

To be added.

Culture note: being a hypermage is associated with being smart and being able to predict how situations are going to go.

This blog may seem like it's pointing out the most obvious shit, but keep in mind, besides me wanting to gush about this show and write analysis pieces, this blog is also meant as a bit of a resource for Random Irrelevant Lore. For fic writers.

I may be the fic writers.

...It's interesting to think about how these cultural standards may affect Joris, who, in all honesty, is fucking stupid. There are pebbles where his brain should be.

Anyway.

He really is stupid.

For how cheerful this show is, this moment is a very stark reminder of the fact that Kerubim was fighting and killing people.

I think that the way he was describing this to Joris probably was something like "and then I sliced that guy in half". Which is both... very violent, and also not very detailed.

Your daily reminder that while searching for Ecaflip City, to get rich and be able to propose to Lou, he tried to fuck a pandawa girl, and DEFINITELY fucked these three. Sad! (Edit: that, or he was searching for it long before the proposal thing.)

Better late than never, Keke. Better late than never.

But it would have been cool if you knew that when you were [SPRAYS HIM WITH A WATER BOTTLE] an orphan, as described in the official text The Wheel of Destiny #8: Kerubim Crepin.

This is my legally required once-in-a-few-liveblogs Wheel of Destiny lore mention. You're welcome.

Joris looks like he heard what just happened, and like.... I know that this is just a funny animation moment.

but i want to belive so so badly, that, due to dragon possession, joris can hear whatever the fuck is going on with this hat, by intercepting its ~~psionic waves~~

that he just heard a spider call his father a motherfucker.

Is it not a wonderful vision of the world, that I just described here?

[rhythmandstealth]

this post is long. like really long. stream of consciousness venting downer post that may or may not make sense. this isnt even touching on everything thats been on my mind but i think ive got the important stuff out.

my brain has quite literally not been working the same since i took that rick and morty acid. like its been completely. i dont know. its like im a completely different person.

the girl using this body beforehand got her shit rocked way too hard, and now a different girl had to take control and now she has to relearn basically everything ever. my autism feels cranked way beyond any countable level and i feel like there are more and bigger gaps in my mind. even my most basic bodily signals just feel completely alien and terrifying to me and its only intensified by the fact that i had food poisoning AND a kidney stone recently.

most of the time i dont even think to eat and when i do get food i just stare at it because i dont know what im supposed to do? and when i do eat its like. off puting. i dont know. everything tastes weird and has a bad mouthfeel and also im having a hard time fully moving my jaw? i feel like my entire taste palate has been completely randomized and everything i was eating is now just utterly revolting and/or physically difficult to eat in some capacity. also all my emotions feel cranked to like a billion and im struggling to even shower and do laundry regularly and always at least a little bit brainfogged and just. a whole bunch of other stuff. idk.

and it wouldnt feel as bad except for the fact that im stuck in a living situation that due to a bunch of reasons is like super duper actively detrimental to my well being. i feel like im about to bottom out all the time like i really fucking am like. i cnt even say im on the edge of something because "edge" implies a line and that line has gradually contracted into a single gradually shrinking point beneath my foot. and like. i know i need help and technically i know how to get it but when i try to act on the relevant information im intrnally just kind of weakly pawing at imperatives that the body is just refusing to execute. and this isnt helped by the fact that due to my autism being cranked off to hell im having an exponentially more difficult time trying to fully externalize my wants and needs or even my problems.

the fact that ive managed to type all this up is a miracle. i am just doing Really Badly. and it wouldnt really suck so bad except for the fact that i live in a southern suburb with someones family who are basically like space aliens to me and have been for far longr than i intended to be due to the pandemic. i need to be rehomed and retrained and re. fucking. i dont know. i dont even know where i was going with this i dont even know if it makes sense. its kind of a cry for help but more importantly i really just need to get it all out there no matter how badly or clumsily worded it is and get over my fears of being open about my feelings with people i know and of being fucking blown up at with because i didnt use the "correct" terms for expressing myself in a way thats acceptable to the other partys experiences and expectations.

i desperately need to rebuild my brain and my sense of self from the ground up in a way that makes me feel good and happy and fulfilled and not. adrift and alone and frustrated and scared. and i need to do it somewhere away from here. but i dont really kknow how to accomplish that because i have no real aims or even the, like. mental scaffolding to support the process of making and executing a long term life goal. not helped by the fact that i just dont have a very strong sense of initiative or autonomy? there are things i want and need to do but i lack the cognitive function to pull myself out of this hell im in and i dont know what to do or how to fix it because i feel like the conventional wisdoms for improving your situation require having some conventional baseline of brainpower that i am like. actively failng to meet. i grew up being discouraged and even punished for acting on internal forces and so now i can only seem to react to the external and thats why now i love getting high as fuck and why i dont really do much when hanging out with people unless someone says "hey come do this with us".

its a miracle i typed this much more. im sorry. im sorry for talking so much and im sorry for making this everyones problem. at least its under a readmore so it doesnt have to be. so whatever. i cant stop typing and crying. im overwhelmed. im burnt out. i dont have any real local support network. ive just been bottling and rotting bc ive just felt scared and embarrassed for how bad ive let myself get without any real help because i lierally just. havent been able to like. push. my brain. and body. into working properly. i dont even know how or why i managed to do all this. maybe doing an acrobatic fucking pirouette off the deep end by posting my little confession last night and letting one of my deepest most secretest cats out of the bag and not immediately having a bunch of gun laser scopes pointed at me for it like id feared for literally years has emboldened me to be moreopen about lower stakes things.

idk. maybe the fact that ive been struggling by myself with various levels of success doesnt matter anymore bc everything including stuff i thought id dealt with was violently dredged up by sufficiently potent psychedelics. i dont know. im a different girl whos new to this world. or maybe im the same girl but an outdated and incomplete version. im in a weird brainspace now that i genuinely dont know how to contend with. i need help and support from people i know and trust and feel safe with. which im still. struggling to get a good handle on. because i never really learned how to socialize properly or make good solid relationsips due to a turbulent upbringing. idk.

im trying. i really really am. i dont think the people who live with me think im trying in life because im not showing any visible signs on the metrics theyre using. but i really am trying my level best to push upward again and achieve the things i really want and live my best fucked up weirdo life. im trying to take things one baby step at a time. eventually, hopefully, i will figure things out.

and so we move.

[halofcrged]

RULES.

            going to try and keep this pretty simple & straightforward.

I.  You must be 18+ to interact with me. I am 42 years old.

            There will be not safe for work content on this blog of the sexual and potentially of the graphic violence nature.  I do tag everything that might be triggering and am happy to tag whatever you ask me to so long as I remember!

                            I ask that you tag any visuals containing spiders with spider tw* spiders tw* arachnophobia tw* etc etc and yes, I know it’s a weird one but anything about the taste of soap or eating soap is a trigger so just tag it with soap tw* or penny don’t look* as I have that blacklisted too.  I don’t have any triggering fcs or what not.

II. This blog is multi-ship, multi-verse, crossover & au friendly.  

          Every ship is in its’ own verse unless previously discussed with all parties.  Every thread or set of threads takes place in its own universe unless previously discussed with all parties.

III.  I write anything from one-liners to novellas, it really just depends on life, my headspace, how much sleep I’ve been getting, how much else I have going on in real life, etc.

IV. My activity is NOT consistent.  I am infamous for blog hopping.  I have literally replied to some starters / replies two years+ after they were originally written.  I am not fast.  If I am fast, it’s by some small miracle and perfect storm of brain, muse and free time.  It will not last.

V.  I have kids, cats and dogs; I am in college, I have a household to take care of and I have many physical and mental handicaps that can affect my ability to function and write, including but not limited to rheumatoid arthritis, osteoarthritis, spinal stenosis, ganglion cysts, torn meniscus, migraines, hypothyroidism, PMDD, nerve damage, herniated disc, ADHD, depression, anxiety, C-PTSD and severe insomnia.  

                          Roleplay is something I do for fun.  

                                  If it isn’t fun, I don’t do it.  

                                         If it’s stressing me out, I��ll avoid it.  

VI. I do graphic commissions.  

          I run @tuppencetrinkets where I post the millions of screencaps and 200x100 icons that I make.  The resources are free but donations are always appreciated as I pay about $40 in hosting / program fees a month.   My commissions are always pay what you can.  I hate setting prices because I want everyone to have pretties if they want them and I don’t know what anyone can afford at any given time.  I do everything from base icons to edited icons, backgrounds, headers, dividers, promos, videos, you name it.  I try to be quick with turnaround but again – sometimes I just can’t be.

VII.  I am fine with plotting things out in advance or winging it.  I really don’t care, whatever you are more comfortable with is fine with me.

               I like all kinds of plots.  I like fluffy things, slice of life, broships, frenemies, enemies, familial, found family, long arcing, one shot throwaway, dark and twisted, you name it plots.  I will not write n*ncon or anything nsfw themed /even hinted at with minor characters and I won’t write any explicit child death etc. but most everything else is fair game.

VIII.  You can throw a million memes at me any time you want to.

IX.  You can throw any and all starters at me any time you want to.

                I’m not necessarily mutual exclusive but I don’t guarantee I’ll respond to memes or starters from non-mutual blogs.

X. I use icons, headers, promos etc. that I make myself 99% of the time.  Please do not use any of my edited graphics.  All base icons I use are free and available on my resource blog.  

XI. I use small text and my icons are 200x100 with empty space to make them 540x130 so that they don’t stretch out on mobile.  I prefer not heavily edited replies in terms of font variance and colors but really don’t care that much.

XII.  I’ve probably forgotten relevant things but, who knows.

XIII.  No drama.  Period.  I’m not interested.  

XIV.  I’m here for fun.  I’m really pretty easy going.  If you have any questions feel free to toss them into my inbox!

[vera-vera-vera-lynn]

Need to rant because this post ignited something beastly inside me :P

|| ๋࣭⭑

As a philosophy major, seeing that ad actually drove me fucking nuts, because I know a lot of people in my school's humanities department (as well as some in the Philosophy course itself) would actually use it.

In my city Philosophy is already considered something of a dying humanities major as it doesn't hold as much attractive options as, say, Communications, Psychology, or Political Science—so barely anyone even takes it seriously anymore. In fact, my university came so goddamn close to shutting down the Philo course entirely.

Our department's barely holding it together, and seeing other humanities majors actively thriving despite taking advantage of something like this is such a huge slap to the face.

We have maybe 15–20 students left in the entire programme, and most of them didn't even choose Philo out of genuine interest—they either just got redirected here, or decided on it as a last-minute resort. It's become such a fucking joke what with how people began seeing it as a dumping ground for has-beens and do-no-betters. It's treated as the goddamn lobby for rejects and undecideds; or worse yet, some will stay for a month to a year, only to dip out at the end when they realise how unaligned they actually are with the course. Bitch; if you wanted an easy way out, why are you here?

There's only one constant professor teaching every subject across every year level. And I say the word constant loosely—because while he technically holds the position, he's also our adviser, a.k.a. our last line of defense anytime the department's on the chopping block. The catch? He's part-time. That man is barely hanging on himself, with multiple teaching gigs at other universities; which means we only get scraps of his time, and even then, he's already usually burnt out. He's not just underpaid. The man's old, overextended, and chronically tired. The worst part? He's good. He's actually a damn good philosopher and an even better teacher. If we lose him, it's fucking over. An algorithm isn't going to help you or your professor. You're silencing the very people who've helped you develop your critical thinking skills.

The people here tend to have this preconceived notion that Philosophy is something of a 'high-brow art'—hence the lack of engagement. This is utter bullshit, by the way, because that's just double-edged classism. The whole point of it is critical access to thought—not intellectual gatekeeping. Call me petty and salty for this but this is one of the reasons why I hate it when bitches say shit like 'I'm too small-brained for this'—like, no. You're not. The fact that you're even recognising your own limitations is already a huge move in itself. You just need to put in the goddamn effort.

There's zero funding for conferences or outreach unless we tie ourselves to other, more 'useful' disciplines (our dean does what she can, but God, it's nowhere near enough; and I know damn well what our department is capable of given how much favouritism Psych and PolSci gets).

As the VP of our org, it's humiliating to have to cosplay as other departments just to get a foot in the door. And the worst part is: admin eats this shit up. They love to say things like relevance and fucking real-world application while simultaneously gutting any space we might’ve had to show how philosophy is deeply relevant, precisely because it questions the frameworks everyone else takes for granted.

Don't even get me started on AI. Half the 'cutting-edge' discourse around machine ethics, bias, decision-making, sentience, consciousness, language—all of it—is stolen straight out of philosophy. Hell, some of these LLMs are trained on archives of our papers and books. But none of y'all are hiring philosophers. No one's inviting us to panels unless we're there to play the silly widdle ethics people and make everything sound profound for five minutes before the principal takes back the mic. We're useful enough to train the machine. We're relevant enough to pad your datasets. But God motherfucking forbid you actually pay a specialist to teach or contextualise those ideas.

I felt worse rereading all the points I made considering my dad just piped in and essentially confirmed what I already knew. The bastard saw me typing and fucking laughed, saying it's just not profitable anymore. At one point in history Philosophy was regarded as the greatest of all sciences. Then religion commodified it, and soon after that technology virtually killed it. Who needs it when the people most rewarded for thinking are the ones who do it loudest, fastest, and with just enough fake nuance to sound profound in under sixty seconds?

Genuinely, from the bottom of my heart, fuck AI.

I've been begging my professor to change our output formats for these very reasons. I told him to give all of these fucking essays a break because theoretical knowledge isn't going to solve everything. Nobody gives a shit about deep dive papers on Kant when they can't even pay their rent, much less have the energy for critical theory after working a shift at some minimum-wage job.

I suppose the biggest issue about Philosophy is that it isn't as 'practical' as other subjects are. The main problem with its presence in the modern world is that it's mostly just those writing about things that won't pay the bills, won't solve the climate crisis, and sure as hell won't put food on the table. We're not necessarily equipping ourselves to survive in the world as it is right now.

But neither are we reaching anyone like this, nor are we making any true progress no matter how wonderfully the concept of AI services is presented. We are actually losing relevance in real time. We're sitting on centuries of intellectual legacy and presenting it like goddamn expired toast. Philosophy was revered for its ability to interrogate meaning and question the frameworks that govern society. And now philosophers are being asked to hand its intellectual power over to algorithms and systems that don't even feel.

People forget that that's the real kicker: companies want philosophy specialists to 'work with' AI, but what in the giggling goddamn fuck does that even mean?

Some of y'all say we're supposed to fix AI with the same academia we've spent years honing. But instead of doing the deep, reflective work philosophy was built on, we're now just handing over centuries of intellectual labour, programming our thoughts into a machine, and hoping this utter parasite of a system works. Yes, artificial intelligence may have its benefits—but that doesn't take away the fact that you're letting automatons belittle all the history and all the hard work that built the foundations of human understanding.

Stop pretending like AI can actually solve problems. They don't. They can't. They can get as humanlike as they can, they can mimic our speech and our processes to sharper degrees, but at the end of the day they're soulless machines. They don't have the same capabilities you or I do. Stop it. Just stop.

this ad wants to hire philosophy specialists to train their AI.

in philosophy.

they want to train the machine that can't think on the subject that's literally thinking about thinking.

someone smarter than me write in the comments how the classical philosophers are freaking out in the afterlife

(diogenes brandishing a texting autocomplete feature: Behold, a man!)

[growling]

No idea if anybody even noticed but I took like a week off of my tumbler funnyman job due to having one of my most batshit mental breakdowns yet complete with my 7 evil ex-delusions that actually everyone on here is actively plotting amongst themselves in order to obliterate me once and for all because they actually hate me That much but perhaps I've been thinking the next step in my development journey is just accepting that perhaps it is indeed a logical current reality instead because like I don't know man the arguments seem pretty convincing and I am rarely ever wrong about anything. Anyway the horrors have quit me after I managed to channel my inner idgafer (ah es pee dee) and realized perhaps all I need in my life is North Fish black cod + fries + coleslaw meal and japanese songs about cannibalism. All my favourite edgy fucking japanese songs that might or might not be vocaloid covers all have music videos drawn by the same fucking guy every time. Crazy. Anyway I have failed in like almost every coping mechanism that I have tried to apply so now my elegant wolf tail tucked between my legs I am going back to being a social creature once again. There is only so much days I can go without being complimented and paid attention to 24/7 before I start eating my own organs. Among my other important findings, it has come to my attention that ever since I have took up the honourable task of strokign my shit everyday I am unfortunately and tragically unable to cum; perhaps as a punishment from a higher being, kind of like Arachne where she mogged Athena so hard that she got beaten to death with a shuttle then turned into a spider. Haha get it, I said "mogged" that's what today's silly silly slang is over on tictac especially, I am one with the youth. Anyway does anyone have advice for post-edge violent leg shaking I'm literally shivering like a shitting dog half the day and for what. Nothing. I also forgot everything else that might have happened this entire week my memory is shit and nothing is real. My brain just deletes everything not relevant to today or the day before so it can make more space for yaoi bedtime scenario lore. I'm doing a terrible job of staying in the present either pals I'm be honest like every hour or so my eyes just randomly unfocus and I gotta use up all my remaining willpower to bring myself back to life it's so annoying. The only clear memories I retain from this odd period is the 2 seasons worth of Better Call Saul I just watched awesome show I like Jimmy's epic cluster b swag. I feel like I heard that exact name somewhere before . I ate two garlic n cheese buns today and they were awesome just real greasy so I had to hold them in an extra layer of paper but otherwise a solid 9/10. Also my gender got even weirder I'm like transneufemmasc now finally collected all of the transgender and sexuality directions that have ever existed and started vibing with outherine and kenochoric. I forgot everything else I was about to say. I feel the most excruciating dread known to man while also simultaneously not caring about anything due to my idgaf disorder as previously mentioned . Oh and I guess my birthday is on the 12th that's crazy I'm growing more and more powerful as the days go by literally only my family gives a shit everyone I know ever forgets about me. The loneliness is unbearable I feel like I'm gonna spontaneously implode upon myself any moment now. Limited edition blogger make use of me while you still can before I'm found dead in Miami

[fallsfcrged]

            going to try and keep this pretty simple & straightforward.

I.  You must be 18+ to interact with me. 21+ is preferred.

            There will be not safe for work content on this blog of the sexual and potentially of the graphic violence nature.  I do tag everything that might be triggering and am happy to tag whatever you ask me to so long as I remember!

                            I ask that you tag any visuals containing spiders with spider tw* spiders tw* arachnophobia tw* etc etc and yes, I know it’s a weird one but anything about the taste of soap or eating soap is a trigger so just tag it with soap tw* or penny don’t look* as I have that blacklisted too.  I don’t have any triggering fcs or what not.

II. This blog is multi-ship, multi-verse, crossover & au friendly.  

          Every ship is in its’ own verse unless previously discussed with all parties.  Every thread or set of threads takes place in its own universe unless previously discussed with all parties.

III.  I write anything from one-liners to novellas, it really just depends on life, my headspace, how much sleep I’ve been getting, how much else I have going on in real life, etc.

IV. My activity is NOT consistent.  I am infamous for blog hopping.  I have literally replied to some starters / replies years+ after they were originally written.  I am not fast.  If I am fast, it’s by some small miracle and perfect storm of brain, muse and free time.  It will not last.

V. I’m 42.  I have kids, cats, & dogs; I am in college, I have a household to take care of and I have many physical and mental handicaps that can affect my ability to function and write, including but not limited to rheumatoid arthritis, osteoarthritis, spinal stenosis, ganglion cysts, torn meniscus, migraines, hypothyroidism, PMDD, nerve damage, herniated disc, ADHD, depression, anxiety, C-PTSD and severe insomnia.  

                          Roleplay is something I do for fun.  

                                  If it isn’t fun, I don’t do it.  

                                         If it’s stressing me out, I’ll avoid it.  

VI. I do graphic commissions.  

          I run @tuppencetrinkets where I post the millions of screencaps and 200x100 icons that I make.  The resources are free but donations are always appreciated as I pay about $40 in hosting / program fees a month.   My commissions are always pay what you can.  I hate setting prices because I want everyone to have pretties if they want them and I don’t know what anyone can afford at any given time.  I do everything from base icons to edited icons, backgrounds, headers, dividers, promos, videos, you name it.  I try to be quick with turnaround but again – sometimes I just can’t be.

VII.  I am fine with plotting things out in advance or winging it.  I really don’t care, whatever you are more comfortable with is fine with me.

               I like all kinds of plots.  I like fluffy things, slice of life, broships, frenemies, enemies, familial, found family, long arcing, one shot throwaway, dark and twisted, you name it plots.  I will not write n*ncon or anything nsfw themed /even hinted at with minor characters and I won’t write any explicit child death etc. but most everything else is fair game.

VIII.  You can throw a million memes at me any time you want to.

IX.  You can throw any and all starters at me any time you want to.

                I’m not necessarily mutual exclusive but I don’t guarantee I’ll respond to memes or starters from non-mutual blogs.

X. I use icons, headers, promos etc. that I make myself 99% of the time.  Please do not use any of my edited graphics.  All base icons I use are free and available on my resource blog.  

XI. I use small text and my icons are 200x100 with empty space to make them 540x130 so that they don’t stretch out on mobile.  I prefer not heavily edited replies in terms of font variance and colors but really don’t care that much.

XII.  I’ve probably forgotten relevant things but, who knows.

XIII.  No drama.  Period.  I’m not interested.  

XIV.  I’m here for fun.  I’m really pretty easy going.  If you have any questions feel free to toss them into my inbox!

[thefencebeetle]

All the social media websites are getting more unusable and un-user friendly by the day, I hate it, I hate it so much, this is awful and I am in fact suffering greatly from it

Stop being awful, why are websites so bad, stop showing me scam ads everywhere, why are bots so prominent, why is everything simultaneously sanitised to hell but exceptions are made for the worst of the worst, why isn’t anything customisable, why can’t I do anything that I want, this is absolute user hell, this is torture for the sake of data harvesting

And yet this is some kind of fucked up reverse prisoners dilemma, I can’t leave because everyone is also trapped here, and if I choose to leave I’ll be free but I’ll be alone, and in the dark about everything. I’ll be in the void. It’s either burning fire pits of content hell with everyone or the cold and lonely expanse of irrelevant nothingness.

I hate it

This is horrible

These websites are actively harming my mental health. I’ve been catching myself not only thinking about the dumbass "debates" I’ve seen online but even talking to people about them ! As if (!!!) they were(!!!) somehow (!!!) fucking relevant to anything actually real (!!!!!). I don’t want to know ! I just want the bare minimum of good thoughtful interaction ! I want to stay informed on the topics that interest me ! It takes so much work to get even the bear minimum of a curated experience I don’t want the every day controversy or the moronic takes or the fake and fleeting outrages that serves no purpose whatsoever. Please everyone should just learn to shut the fuck up, have some restraint, grow up, get a life ! Nobody’s got a life ?!?

In fact this is Millennial hell. We’ve collectively created and populated these spaces and we are rotting in them, we are festering and oozing out of them, and we are cannibalising them and ourselves simultaneously. This is our generational sin, we were born into the Internet and we made sure to choke it real hard and real good, to extinguish its light and creativity, to chose the shittiest options and blindly accept anything for the sake of recognition, clout. And we’re going to continue doing that because there’s no way we’re moving away from our acid vats we now call social media websites. We’re feeling far too cozy among our own shit and trash, like depressing hoarders who can’t even imagine their house clean anymore not realising they are destroying their living space and sharing it with an unholy number of critters, ready to eat them dead or alive, sooner rather than later.

Maybe we are the critters. But at least they have some kind of use. Our only use is to wallow and do nothing, be depressed and stare, get drained by endless bullshit, and give data, look at ads, be a marketing profile, no need to share anything anymore. Don’t be creative, don’t be weird, don’t act. Just scroll and consume and be artificially angry and react to things you wouldn’t have even noticed otherwise and let it eat through you and install itself in your brain like a true parasite. It whispers to you that you want it and need it. Feed it. Open that app again. What is it, like the 30th time today ? Check again for notes / views / retweets / likes. Nothing hm, better check again ! Better like more harder and faster ! Scroll a bit further ! Click on more buttons made to be scientifically enjoyable and rewarding ! Spin that content wheel ! React ! Comment some brainless emoji ! Get into more arguments !! Check for notes again !!! Maybe this time you’re famous !!!

.

.

.

I stare at the delete button of my account like its loaded with one bullet for that parasite in my brain. I’m not even sure it’ll be enough.

[kingdom-carer]

If it hurts, my love, you don’t have to pretend that it doesn’t. You are allowed to be in pain. That’s the only way you can process it, after all.

If you find joy in nursing your inner child, no matter if it’s newborn or eight or thirteen or last week, you are allowed to do that. You are an amalgamation of every age you have ever been, the totality of every experience, and you will recall those experiences if your brain sees them to be relevant. That’s human. Your only responsibility is to determine what mindsets serve you properly in the present.

You’re allowed to have a safe space. You should be proud of being able to be self-aware and self-soothing without needing the affirmation of the rest of the world.

I know you have religious trauma, so I will spare the finer points of my experience with Jesus, but I want you to know that you are a human being with intrinsic value and you are more beloved than you can even imagine no matter who or what you are.

Life is quite simple: take the good and leave the bad, from everything, as much as you are able. Simple, not easy. You are doing a good job.

Eat, drink, sleep, and get some sunshine. Have peace. In time this too shall pass. ❤️

tw / cw for talking about trauma

feeling insecure about my regression and trauma and all that in general.

like, i know i had trauma - i think? was it valid? was it not? was it real? it feels so long ago. it affects my every move. i refuse ot talk about it. it wasn't that bad. i made it up. i didn't make it up. everytime something similar happens, i feel like that girl again (though, it's happened less as i've aged and been to therapy)

do i even regress? am i valid to? am i permanently that little girl? but she wasn't so little. she was 14. i stil feel like i 'm frozen there in time, everyday. rarely do i feel my age. do i even regress? i dream, sure. but do i regress? ami valid? ami always regressed?

logically, i know ishouldn't have to feel this way. my trauma IS valid even if i believe with all my heart it isn't - whether you include the potential and probably more tangible religious trauma or not and choose to keep what i co nsider the traumatic event (s). and everyone's regression or dreaming is different for everone - one thing i've seen mentioned over and over again mentioned on this site is you shouldn't compare your journey and your regression to anyone's. it is valid and everyone's is different

even still!!!!!!! i do feel this way!!!!!!!!!!!

[purplefangirl42]

For your requests, some Silco fluff please? Of him comforting/encouraging reader who's nervous about a big event that they're about to do?

No this isn't vaguely autobiographical or relevant to myself idk what you're talking about

Thanks for the request Coi! I hope your thing goes well this weekend and you have lots of fun! 💜

This is a continuation of this request.

Tags: Fluff, supportive Silco, Reader is an anxious bean

What if I bring the wrong paintings? Will people like my simpler works? What if it rains?

These were only a few of the questions bouncing around your brain as you bustled about your studio. You were gathering the things you would need the next day for the exhibition you had been invited to, and your mind was running a mile a minute. You had never been invited to an event like this and you were totally unprepared.

On one of your passes across the room, you nearly ran over your husband as he entered your studio. He was able to step out of the way in time, but you dropped the case you were carrying, spilling the clips for your painting frames all over the floor.

“Darling?” Silco asked as you scrambled to pick up the scattered clips. “Is everything alright?”

“Yep, everything’s fine!” you said, out of breath. “I’m just busy, that's all.”

You righted yourself and continued your trek across the room. You placed the box down amongst the mountain of other things you were bringing with you. Standing back from the pile, you ran through your mental checklist for the hundredth time in the past hour.

“Is there anything I can help you with?” Silco asked, coming to stand beside you.

You could use at least three other people’s help, but you wanted to make sure that everything was done how you envisioned it in your mind, which meant that you had to do it yourself. His offer was a kind one and you appreciated his attempt to be helpful, but this was something you needed to do, if for your own mental state if nothing else.

“I think I’ve got it, but thank you, love.”

You felt Silco’s hand touch yours lightly and you turned to look at him. He was giving you a look that was bordering on concern, but like he was trying to keep his opinion to himself. You gave him what you hoped was a reassuring smile and grasped his hand. 

“I mean it, Silco. I’m just a bit stressed at the moment.”

Silco pulled on your hand and started to lead you in the direction of the door.

“Why don’t you take a short break?” he said. “Come have some lunch with Jinx and I? You’ve been up here all morning, and it’s time you had a breather.”

You opened your mouth to protest, but the look he gave you told you it was not truly a suggestion, even if he had phrased it that way. Your mouth fell shut and you let yourself be pulled away from your work. 

Jinx was already waiting in Silco’s office when you arrived, devouring the food before her. She paused in her eating to look up when you entered. She gave you a small wave and wiped her hand across her mouth. 

“Dad wasn’t sure if you would actually come down,” she said. 

“He didn’t really give me a choice,” you said, looking at your husband with an amused glance.

Silco released your hand and placed his hands on your shoulders to push you down into the seat beside your daughter. Jinx pushed a plate full of food in your direction and you took what you wanted from it before settling in to eat. Silco sat in his chair on the other side of the desk and slowly picked at his own food. 

As you ate, you could feel his gaze on you, as if he was watching you to make sure that you were actually eating. You looked up to meet his gaze with a raised eyebrow, which Silco mirrored by raising his own. You laughed and shook your head at him, returning to your meal. Once Jinx had finished her food, she ran off to her own space, leaving you alone with Silco. When you tried to get up to do the same, Silco’s voice stopped you.

“Stay,” he said in a tone that did not leave room for questioning. “Your break isn’t over yet.”

You gave him a confused look and gestured in the general direction of your studio. 

“Silco, I have things that I need to do to get ready for tomorrow.”

“I know. But I want you to stay for a few more minutes at least.”

You stood from your chair and walked around to the other side of the desk, stopping when you reached him. He once again took your hand and gave it a gentle squeeze.

“I know this is a very exciting thing for you and I am happy that you have this opportunity,” Silco said. “But, I’m worried about the amount of stress this is putting on you.”

“I’m fine!” you said, hoping your tone was convincing.

Judging by the look on Silco’s face, you had a feeling it wasn’t as convincing as you hoped. You sank down onto the armrest of his chair and he released your hand in favor of wrapping his arm around your waist.

“Everything will go smoothly tomorrow,” he said. “I will be there, Jinx will be there, Sevika will be there. You have meticulously planned out everything that you will be taking with you and we are all prepared to help you make sure it is done correctly.”

“I know,” you said, leaning against him. “It’s just…I’ve never done something like this before and I have a million things that could go wrong running through my head.”

You heard a soft chuckle from beside you and Silco tightened his arm around you.

“As much as I appreciate your need to think things through and prepare for every possible outcome, I don’t think it’s necessary in this case.”

“But what if…” you started.

“Anything that happens, we will deal with it. Together.”

You smiled softly and turned your head to place a gentle kiss on Silco’s temple. 

“You know I appreciate you, right?”

“Yes, darling. I know.”

Silco released his hold on you and waved his hand to dismiss you from your forced pause in activity. 

“Go back to your obsessive preparation, but please try to think about what I said.”

“If I’m not done in 2 hours, come get me,” you said.

“ONE hour.”

“One and a half?” you offered.

Silco sighed and nodded in resignation.

“Very well.”

You leaned down to give him another quick kiss before scurrying out of his office back to your studio. Once you entered the room, you could see everything in a new light. You had everything you could possibly need ready to go. You just needed to package up the paintings you were taking with you. Maybe you could finish that in less than the timeframe he had given you.

Everything is fine. Tomorrow is going to be great.

[cupidsdescendant]

Mercs X Sweet Tooth G/N!

Hey yall! It’s been a while since I wrote a short head canon list for the mercs and so I decided to write this! I really have been getting into writing actual one shot stories instead of lists so that’s why my posts have been so slow  ^___^ I’m thinking about making a version of this one for the creepy pasta characters to go back to fanfic roots ;-; anyways, g’day! Mwah XOXOXO

Scout:

-Very happy

-“Oh yeah? What’s your favorite one? Really! Mine too!” He takes out your favorite candy in response 

-You both like staying up at 3 am eating random sweets

-The sugar rush hits both of you SOOOOO hard. Running across the fort, double, fuck it, triple jumping all around and screaming violently.

- You both literally laugh at almost every thing the mercs say even if it’s not funny or relevant and both laugh at each other laughing so hard. Your laughs become even wheezier when you both cannot speak and it’s both of you mumbling and laughing and your mumbling.

-Just as much as the rush gets you the crash hits harder than the market crash of 2008. Both of you are literally so tired you guys can’t even get up. Eyes sore, legs weak, body tired, everything hurts after literally sonic speeding everywhere. You both wake up holding each other or spooning <3.

-Instead of a hot steamy cup of coffee in the morning you wake Scout up by sitting on top of him and feeding him lemon heads and sour gummy bears. 

-You like to throw gummies and candies into his mouth during fights just to play around and it helps with a speed boost 

-Although Scout loves candy his favorite is of course: B o n k 

-And you both drink it religiously! At this point you both have it in an IV put up into your veins. 

-Scout and you have so much fun with candy. You both go to candy stores together and have fun picking out candies and sodas. Once you both get home you guys would eat eat eat, lose your mind and sleep for the rest of the night ^___^

Soldier: 

-He doesn’t eat a lot of sweets, but once you give him one he goes a little crazy 

-Once, you gave him a chocolate bar and he rocket jumped to space and didn’t come back for at least 3 days

-Soldier finds you alone eating a 12 pack of mini cupcakes to yourself and he gasps “Dear god!” 

-“mfwhaht-?” Y/N said mouth full of white cake and frosting. CANNIBALISM!!” He screams pointing at you in horror

-“HoW!?” Y/N yelled out, Soldier ran over and ran his hand on Y/N’s chin “My cupcake is eatin’ a cupcake!”

-He loves a good ol' fashion American Cherry pie

-Coke is his favorite drink

-He mostly enjoys milk chocolate and whoppers

-Always makes sure they're made in America

Pyro:

-you know em, Pyro is a maniac for that typa shit. Way even more than Scout

-Give them a jolly rancher and he'll spend half of the time rolling around in circles laughing and banging his head on the wall

-her brain is already filled with sunshine and rainbows but once you add candy- it's full blown candy land

-they like to make you dance a lot when he's hyper on candy! Always spinning you around and around <3

-He likes hoping around too. He acts kinda like a little bunny ;w;

-Pyro and you basically just run around setting everything on fire without a care in the world

-His favorite candy...? All of em! Lollipops and sour-sweet ones are his favorites.

-They propose to you with a ring pop

Demoman:

-he can handle some sweet things but he's not a big fan

-But when you mix a sugar rushed Y/N with a drunk Demo it's alllllllll chaos.

-You both love doing karaoke when you're out of yall's minds, screaming violently to songs or crying to sad ones

-Probably have a super duper upper crazye rap battle too

-When you both crash you find each other on the other sides of the rooms but when you both wake up you go and cuddle.

-You both try and get sober from your addictions but fail and the next weekend is the same lol

-Like I said, Demo doesn't really like candy. The only ones he'd eat is going to be mixed with alcohol or root beer ones

Heavy:

no comment. these are his favorite

Engineer:

-being from the south, he loves moon pies and other pies in general

-Engi loves maple taffy and whenever it's winter time he makes them with the mercs or just enjoys them by himself

-He loooves taffy and Rocky Road!!

-Pie is also his favorite, Pumpkin pie specifically. He always likes to eat it with a scoop of vanilla ice cream

-All of the sweet things he eats are always warm and relaxing and so you both like to cozy up together and eat together

-Engineer always has to hold you down when you get a little hyper and he has to tell you to relax

-Gets overwhelmed trying to calm you down and eventually gives up but you decided to sit next to him when you can't find him

Medic:

-always warns you about cavities and tells you not to eat so much sweets

-He usually hides the fact that he eats soo much candy.

-Considering Medic is German he eats mostly German candy and chocolates but he's afraid to admit he likes American candies a lot

-He likes to eat sour candies but his taste in things is a lot more "luxury" and so he eats mostly dark chocolate

-Def the kind of guy to say he's not eating chocolate or candy and have stains all over his clothes and mouth

-Medic's manic-ness and your hyper-ness when you're on a sugar rush is. terrifying. Both of you don't stop and you both cannot.

-Both of you go on the most crazy adventures. Once you both woke up with your limbs detached and the other time you guy's switched bodies

Sniper:

-Sniper doesn't eat sweets. periodt.

-He usually just watches you go coo coo through his rifle and chuckles to himself

-even though he doesn't eat anything sweet he think it's so cute that you love sweets so much

-He goes out his way to always buy you candy when he has the time and his favorite part is holding it while you chomp into it

-Once he saw you eating oreos and he called you cookie monster and you didn't know how to feel

-He's very neutral with everything tbh..

-You always try to convince him to eat it but he just can't do it

-So he'll eat something savory while you eat something sweet so he can interact and hang out with you

Spy:

-He loves chocolate croissants...okay sorry for the french joke lmao

-seriously though he's french! France has the most bomb fucking sweets and desserts ever

-He loves Macarons, Éclairs, Profiterole and crepes

-He also really loves to tell you the history of those desserts and loves sharing his culture with you!!! <3

-He tries to calm you down whenever you have a sugar rush and usually forces you to sit down and eat desserts while he reads to you

-Loves to wipe off the cream or frosting off your face and say some horny french bullshit

-You alwaysssss beg Spy to make French pastries and he reluctantly agrees

-You both spend hours in the kitchen making food together and flirting. It's a really cute moment.

-During breaks or lunch you both eat your pastries together <333

okay so it's been a while since I posted. Hey yall! Hope you like this one <3 stay cute! Mwah xoxoxo

[mrs-bartowski]

My dudes. My guys. My pals.

I’m about 10 seconds away from going feral.

So, I’m the kind of unfortunate chump whose brain requires continuity. Meaning, when I started thirst watching Supergirl during its mid-season-2 hiatus and came across the realization that it had crossovers with all the other arrowverse shows, my brain tasked me with watching them all. I won’t put you through a recount of this arduous feat, but it does leave me with the certain advantage of having immediate and full-contextual access to any parallels between supercorp and canon CW DCEU couples.

Normally, this is a good thing, because it’s just another crumb to obsess over. But I just finished watching Legends 6x02 and...I. AM. FUMING.

I literally don’t even know where to start, but know that if you’ve made it this far you’re in for a long ride because my entire being is in Scream mode right now and I’m not sure I’ll be able to stop typing until it passes.

OKAY. So.

Meet Sara Lance (lol jk y’all thirsty gays know who she is I mean look at this flawless human)

Next, meet her ******* Ava Sharpe (who is literally the definition of white European beauty standards-based perfection because she’s a clone from the future)

And finally, meet Gary Green. He’s...well, he’s Gary.

Sara started out on Arrow and is now the captain of the Legends. Ava was the director of the Time Bureau and Gary was an agent, and now they are also members of the Legends. Sara has been there (and been the show’s effective lead) since season 1. Ava and Gary both came in at the beginning of season 3. 

Gary is (as pictured) an absolute fool, but he is also kind of regarded as the one the Legends Must Protecc. The whole team is considered a family, and, while they are not necessarily labeled as best friends, Gary has been Ava’s longest and most loyal companion, and Sara has a way of adopting him because she’s the best equipped to keep him out of trouble.

So, why is all of this relevant to why I want to go feral? Because it sounds a bit familiar, yes? Member of the team that is somewhat a black sheep, doesn’t get included fully or all the time but often comes in with save-the day type shit (even though with Gary it’s more of a distraction than a save because he’s a mess of a man). Close friend to one of our two main heroes and, subsequently, that hero’s closest companion puts them at the top of their Protecc list. Has little faith in his relationships with the team so he is constantly going out of his way to help in whatever way he can to prove his usefulness. And so on and so forth.

Well, 6x01 marks exactly 3 years since Gary’s first appearance, and what did we find out in that episode? That Gary is an alien. And not just any alien - an alien who was sent (by the woman he was traded to) to get close to Sara because she has been labeled as one of the world’s most dangerous creatures. Not to mention, his species of alien feeds on humans (not him of course, he’s reformed, but nonetheless not a friendly species). And we find out all of this because he and his master abduct her.

Sara finds out in person while Ava and the rest of the Legends solve the mystery on their own. Now, I’ve drawn a lot of comparisons between Lena and Gary to make a point about the time frame and nature of their relationships, but let’s take a look at Sara, shall we? For starters, she’s been “dead” either literally or supposedly about...what, 15 times now? If you think that’s an exaggeration, here’s the link to her fan wiki which says she’s been presumed dead 10 times and actually dead 5. The sg writers tried to sell season 5 as “the fight for Lena’s soul” but Sara LITERALLY LOST HER SOUL when she got resurrected in the Lazarus pit. 90% of Sara’s character development has been based on her certainty that she is too close to death and evil and destruction (getting possessed by a demon, perhaps, had something to do with this?). She was an actual literal assassin and she has left civilization out of anger and pain to go back to that life once before.

She has always believed that she is too dangerous to have real love or relationships or friends. And now she has found and built and led this family through time and space and she’s done so with this goofball by her side that is endearingly attached to the love of her life. So, how does she react when she finds out Gary is an alien? Well, clearly, she goes down a dark path, right? She cries and screams and talks about betrayal because she’s had such a hard time with feeling like she only ever puts the people she loves in danger and now here she is finding out there’s been a human-eating alien in her family for three years that was tasked with observing her and keeping her in check because she is exactly that dangerous?

Yeah...try again. This is how Sara reacts:

And then there's another scene that apparently no one even bothered to put on YouTube where you can see the pain in Sara's eyes when she asks him “why me?” You can see how hurt she is that after 3 years she’s just finding out that their friendships is based on lies and that she has trouble keeping her faith in it. But in both of these instances where are the “crocodile tears?” Where are the fearful, shaky confessions from Gary about his fear of losing the only people who have ever really loved or cared about him and desperate justifications about how he just wanted to protect them and keep them in the dark so his master didn’t come after them? Where is the outrage from Sara about how everything Gary has reassured her about over the past three years when she was scared to let the damaged-soul assassin inside of her out was a lie and he doesn’t get to tell her who or what she is again? Where is the determination from Ava to make Gary pay for not only lying for three years but for ABDUCTING THE LOVE OF HER LIFE TO HAND OVER TO A FLESH-EATING ALIEN??????

Nowhere. Those things...they’re nowhere. There’s anger. There’s pain. There’s doubt and heartbreak and fury. There’s betrayal and helplessness and desperation. But there is no scene with Sara standing on a balcony and Gary looking up at her longingly because he wants to talk to her about the secret and he knows it will change everything between them. There is no scene with Sara and Ava lamenting over what this means for Gary and the team and the world because he’s no longer the person they knew. There are no romantically-scored scenes of them looking teary-eyed at the pictures they took together or reassurances that the others’ intentions are good and trustworthy now that the truth is out in the open. There is nothing to imply that the last several years of friendship are now entirely suspect (damaged, frayed, clouded, maybe, but definitely not voided) because Gary kept this secret to protect them. And Gary isn’t made to feel obscenely guilty or shameful because his intentions were good and he only did what he felt he had to. But most of all, the world doesn’t feel like it’s going to end.

And I’m not talking about we’re now scared Gary will take his master’s side or Sara will suddenly decide that she never wants an alien to fool her or hurt her again so she’s going to make sure he doesn’t have the choice. I’m just talking about the way they address each other. There are no sobbing tears or laments over the biggest mistakes of their lives - even though it’s quite possible Gary could see this as his. There are no screaming matches over betrayal and mistrust and years of doubt and confusion. There will be no episode dedicated to going back and seeing what could have happened - what kind of danger they could have avoided from the alien(s) controlling Gary - had he told them the truth sooner because that’s the only way to save him and the world. There will be no episode where he has to single-handedly save them multiple times as some example of redemption. There will be no adamant looks and declarations about how the team knows his intentions were good and they forgive him. There won’t be any of that. Because Sara is not in love with Gary. And Ava is not in love with Gary. And Gary is not in love with either Sara or Ava. They’re just close friends. Family. Loved ones who mean a lot to each other but whose betrayal and seeds of doubt don’t bring on emotions whose force and ferocity could be acceptable for finding out the apocalypse is nigh.

I have many, many more feelings about this but right now I’m going to go write things that will make me feel better and not things that make me want to gather every writer from every CW show in a line and run down the line smacking them all in the face while the Legends writers watch and cheer. But I’m fuming. THIS is what it looks like when a years-long, heavily weighted lie is revealed between close friends/family. So, in conclusion, Supercorp endgame or die.

[yeolmae-s]

a chanbaek analysis from a veteran exo-l (part 2)

CLICK HERE TO READ PART ONE

Writing this was a bit harder in comparison to the first part, because I wanted to organize things into a neat timeline, but I ended up not having enough patience for it lol specially because both of ChanBaek's main archive blogs seem to have deleted their pages documenting each date of EXO's early years. Therefore I apologize in advance if this part is a bit more messy. Also, please don't forget that all of this is my opinion and I don't mean for any of it to be taken as truth!

I kind of want to jump from MAMA era directly into Wolf era, since we don't really have a lot of cover regarding their debut phase besides Chanyeol's overeagerness and Baekhyun's awkwardness towards it, so to sum it up, I felt as if Chanyeol was more confident and consistent on what he thought an idol should act like, while Baekhyun (sweet, innocent Baekhyun who was a trainee for less than a year!) was still unsure on how to act on camera.

On the few early variety shows/interviews EXO appeared on, the members always pointed out how funny Baekhyun was, how good he'd be at variety and at doing imitations, but he never really lived up to all the praise on camera, although off of it, he most likely was as good as his members claimed.

He was a bit stiff on his early days in comparison to what we see today, and that's normal, I guess, since he debuted really quickly, but when you compare him to Chanyeol the contrast is so interesting, because the latter was able to latch on to a persona as soon as the public gave him one, while to me, Baekhyun was still doubtful regarding what to put on display. In the end, deep inside, Baekhyun is a private person, and was even more so when he wasn't confident enough to talk to fans like he does today.

Once again, I’m sorry for not being able to upload the gifs directly into the post, so I’ll just link them like I did on my last one.

This is another one of the moments where Baek appears to tell Chanyeol to just. Hold on for a bit.

There's another one similar to this where Chanyeol does the same thing (try to whisper on Baekhyun's ear) and Baekhyun fake laughs and stares at a fan's camera right after. Then, his expression just goes blank. It's really interesting to watch because you can just see the gears spinning on Chanyeol's brain as he stares at Baekhyun for a second and clearly thinks alright, fanservice time, and leans in to whisper something: it happens so fast you just know it wasn't genuine whispering, just a playful interaction for the fans, and Baekhyun's direct stare to the camera as soon as it happens just confirms this for me. 

1: Chanyeol spots his target.

2: He’s really thinking this through.

3: Baek's in a perfect position for whispering-time, so he leans in and does his thing.

4: Baekhyun laughs.

5: And stares directly at a fan's camera.

6: Immediately regrets his life choices. Chanyeol looks pleased.

It's actually better to watch the whole thing, so I'll leave it here. (starts on 0:28!)

(Random note: on this date EXO perfomed a cover of H.O.T's We Are The Future, and I feel like a lot of new EXO-Ls have not seem it and I adore this performance, so I'll link it here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=r1-z4s3fdgo)

Now let's jump on to Wolf era, shall we?

Wolf era

I can't help but laugh when I think about how wild 2013 was for both EXO and EXO-Ls. They had their first hit song (which was Growl, not Wolf) the fandom grew considerably, shippers where just discovering the cute ISAC moments between "BaekYeol" and "HunHan"... Or at least that's how everyone remembers most of what happened during that year.

Are we forgetting the rumoured ChanBaek fight?

Considering their past interactions on airports, SMTOWN concerts, ISAC and other events, ChanBaek was now widely known to be close to each other. Baekhyun even said Chanyeol was the one who made him open up, and both of them mentioned feeling this "connection" to each other as soon as they met (although jokingly).

After Mama, the fandom was content-less for a considerable period of time, and what most people did was sharing around old performances and repeat overused memes.  I think that in every fandom there is a period where fans establish their main inside jokes and basically just get together to create a collective line of thought for perceiving their idols. That being said, one of the most well established facts in the fandom was that Chanyeol and Baekhyun were close. That was a fact.But then Wolf came, and they suddenly were not. 

This gif is a good example of how awkward their interactions were. Not even my delusional shipping brain in 2013 was able to come up with an explanation for it.

They simply did not acknowledge each other at all, and Chanyeol appeared to be closer to Kyungsoo (I think Baekhyun interacted a lot with Tao, but that may have been during the Growl era, not Wolf. As I said before, I'm a Chanyeol stan guys, sorry lmao).

Point is, these two boys who seemed to be best friends suddenly were clearly distant from one another.

What added fuel to the fire of the rumours was their appearance on Sukira, a radio show, where Sehun cried because the members sometimes had fights. Here's a fanacc:

[130530] EXO at Sukira

Sehun cried because the members sometimes fight.

Sehun: "Let's be loyal to each other, don't fight, and go until the end"

D.O: "We've been under a lot of stress lately because of the comeback, so I wish we won't fight in the future and do our best"

Here's a video cut of this part of their interview. 

I think this ask on lets-talk-baekyeol, a popular ChanBaek analysis blog from back in the day, shows how curious a lot of fans were.

What happened back then?

There's really no answer for that. On my opinion, not even Chanyeol or Baekhyun could give us a concrete answer on it, because I don't think an actual fight happened. For me, it was most likely a personality clash, a disagreement that probably wasn't even voiced out loud, just both of them noticing how uncomfortable things got, if Baekhyun's reactions to Chanyeol's fanservice is any indication. I somehow doubt there was a specific episode that created this distance between them, specially because during Growl, they went back to being friends, although not as touchy on camera as before, as if one of them had established their limits (oh, I wonder who!), but I still have this feeling that all of this was unspoken, because unspoken things seem to be a pattern on ChanBaek's relationship (something I'll touch on later, hopefully).

But it was during Growl era that I noticed something else about Baekhyun.

Wolf era

EXO'S Showtime was a such a gift. I recommend reading lets-talk-baekyeol's blog for this. I don't really agree with everything they say they do present a lot of relevant points. I may repeat them here, since I noticed them myself as well, but credits for them nonetheless.

I remember finding the lack of ChanBaek interactions during the episodes really dissappointing, but considering the Wolf Era drought, this was better than nothing.

My 13 year old self was devastated when Baekhyun appeared so quiet during Chanyeol's birthday episode, and during a recent rewatch of it, I think realized why.

Baekhyun doesn't like superficial things. It's not that Chanyeol is insincere, but he's just better than Baekhyun is at handling people pleasing, even when he doesn't really mean what's he saying/doing. The Chanyeol birthday episode was heavily centered on Chanyeol's random admiration for Kai, which I think we can all agree that it was a little bit scripted or a really spur of the moment thing that they just ran along with and oh man. Baekhyun did not want to be part of it.

During ChanKai's hug, this is what he looked like on the background, and the poor boy even refused to eat cake. He's just in the back, which is weird, because he's such a talkative person and Chanyeol is one of his closest friends. The only moment where he seems to be genuinely comfortable is when Chanyeol blows the candle and it's really cute. To me, it seems that he was kind of embarrassed to witness so much acting from everyone else and was unable to participate because he struggles with things like this, but the moment Chanyeol blows his candles to comemorate his birthday seems sincere enough for him to fondly smile.

This ties in so well with everything from Mama Era. He's just unable to keep acting/people pleasing on the same easy way that Chanyeol does, but this time he's not as nervous about it as he was on his earlier-early days, where he probably felt pressured to actually do stuff. Now he just doesn't do **it, he just doesn't do something that he dislikes doing, and that sadly creates a distance between them on camera and probably on a deeper level in their relationship as well, because both are just realizing how different their perceptions over their jobs is.

There's also this moment that the mods on lets-talk-baekyeol pointed out.

On the Christmas episode, when the members leave the couch to go get their presents, Chanyeol stays seated while Baekhyun gets up to fetch his. This is the sitting arrangement before (almost) everyone got up:

But when Baekhyun comes back, there's free space next to Chanyeol, however he's hesitant to sit by his side. He actually hesitates and doesn't sit down. Jongdae even gives him a little push right after.

Baek just seems hesitant to do things on camera, to interact with Chanyeol in front of an audience. For this moment, I feel like he's afraid to sit next to Chanyeol and end up having to over act. It's not that Chanyeol himself makes him uncomfortable, but the image of the friendship that they ended up creating for fans demands a lot from him.

And when I say hesitant to do things on camera, I really do mean it, because when Baekhyun thinks he is not being recorded/seen, here's what he does:

Here and here.

Their relationship clearly changed, and I think the reason for it is actually simple: both of them were under the impression that they were compatible with each other when they actually were not. Their personalities are extremely different, even if the way they present themselves is sometimes similar. Wolf and Growl era was our way, as fans, of watching them navigate around each other and finding out how their relationship was supposed to work.

And you know what's nice about that? The members watched all of it unfold. Their reactions to some of ChanBaek's interaction is a gold mine when it comes to analyzing them, because they clearly know, just as we do, that their relationship is kind of complicated. But I want to talk about it on the next part.

I am sorry for cutting this off again! I don't know if the next part is going to be the last, because after Growl there's Overdose and we all know what happened on 2014 [coughs] dating scandal [coughs] god help me I don't want to talk about it [coughs] so there's a lot to uncover and I need time to organize stuff.

Thank you for reading!

[high-theyre-frendough]

ABOUT THE BLOG

For a while, I was posting random high thoughts on my main account, but decided, why not make a dedicated page for that kind of content. So, this is my 🍃 account. I will never post or respond here if I am sober or think I am too sober. That way, it is authentic.

MY NAME

If you don’t follow me, call me the avocado bandit. if you do follow me, you must call me the avocado king. becoming a follower makes me your king.

ABOUT ME

I am an adult and I consume weed to help with my C-PTSD & depression. Also for silly time because silly brain is fun. I am a trans guy and I use He/It/Xe pronouns. I would prefer it if minors did not interact here, but I suppose I cannot be too mad if someone comes across a funny out-of-context post. This is under the assumption that I can be funny. I will try to avoid posting here while not high. This includes writing this pinned post.

We have DID and sometimes post about it. However, that is not what this blog is focused around.

DNI

If you are transphobic/TERF/trans-med or otherwise an obnoxious cisgender person (fuck it, especially the CISHETS) then you can go bye-bye.

If think you can be a system without childhood trauma, also bye bye. This account is not the place for this drama, but trust me I have a nuanced opinion on the topic. But I don't wanna deal with it on this account.

If you homophobic, good bye bitch. Also if you exclude asexuals or non-binary people, then fuck off. Go eat a used gym sock.

If you are racist or xenophobic, I hope that your teeth rot out of your mouth, leaving you to only eating bland soup, as you are no longer allowed to enjoy foods from other cultures.

If you are trans-id I would appreciated if you identified as blocked.

If you are pro ana or sh it would be cool if you got help instead of glorifying it online.

If you are a pedo, it would be pretty fucking cool if you got on a boat to the center of the ocean, tied cinder blocks to your feet, and entered the water.

TAG GUIDE

Different types of posts will use the following tags for the following things. If you follow, feel free to block whichever ones you like. Don’t expect everyone to like everything, so here it is for your convenience.

#♻️ gilded profoundness -> These are posts which are meant to be meaningful, even though they probably are not.

#♻️ descriptions -> directly describe the experience of bring high

#♻️ weird -> weird things said while high that are probably stupid on purpose

#♻️ capitalism -> sometimes when i'm high i am thinking about capitalism too hard and confuse myself. should i put "we"??? we are a system but will not talk about it on this account much, so idk if it is relevant? should i add things to confuse? never mind

#♻️ realizations -> things i did not think about before

#♻️ realizations but traumatic -> tmw you have a ptsd flashback while high and then recover and you are still high and also kinda dissociating and you sit there and you think about what you just now realize was trauma cause you thought it was normal but no, it fucking was not, but you're high so you just write it down somewhere so you remember it, then you go back to thinking about silly high things, or consume strange media cause you're high and that's fun to do while high.

#♻️🍆 spicy -> horny posts. probably won't post much of that here as we have a separate blog for horny thoughts, but if it is here it'll be tagged

#♻️ reblog -> posts i reblogged

#♻️ memes -> usually have to do with venting but not always

#♻️ real time -> describing things as they are happening or just happened.

#♻️ free space -> Concepts to write about for entertainment.

#♻️ ask response -> if someone said something that would be nice but do not be mean please

#♻️ agere -> sometimes baby brain takes over. soft fuzzy high brain easily becomes little baby. sfw!!!! (note that this blog is not 100% sfw, though when i do regress, it is in a sfw way)

#♻️ paranoid -> will also be tagged with common tags just in case for filtering. i just realized that if someone follows, and the block some of these tags, this pinned post will be hidden cause i have those tags pinned for convenience

#♻️ neutral -> idk a specific label

#♻️ walmartposting - Its a place for stoners to exercise aimlessly.

#♻️ upset -> vent or something idk

#♻️ dissociative stuff -> stuff about DID. usually syscourse. figured i might as well make a tag for it since we get riled up while high on occasion.

#♻️ yeee 🍺 -> alcohol was involved