#they are all way better and way more successful than i am
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milkoomi · 2 days ago
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⋆˚࿔ a new canvas means a new you 𝜗𝜚˚⋆
a mini series on the art of becoming a better you
chapter 1 | chapter 2 | chapter 3
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chapter four — THE ART OF SELF RESPECT
when you live a life where you don’t respect yourself, your boundaries, your health, your mind, your emotions; just anything about you, you’ll end up living a life where you’re walked all over, where people take advantage of you, where you’ll find no successes or achievements— you live a life feeling lost and feeling empty, feeling like your mission in life is to be meaningless. we’re taught to respect others, but we’re never taught to respect ourselves. we, as individuals, need to have the highest level of respect for one person. that person being us.
ᥫ᭡. where to start
decenter men
i was talking about this the other night with my best friend, but way too many people (women, men, trans women/men, literally anyone) center their lives around men. the patriarchy has stolen so many people’s individuality, stripping them of finding their own personality, their own interests, opinions, hobbies, etc. and that is one of the main reasons people don’t have any self respect. decenter men.
a man should not, and never define who you are as a person. a man should never make you feel like you are undeserving of your own successes. a man should never make you feel any less than what you truly are! men should never be a source of validation for you as a person. it doesn’t matter if you’re a man yourself (cis or trans), it doesn’t matter if you’re a woman (cis or trans), and it doesn’t matter if you’re nonbinary/gender-nonconforming; you should never ever— and i mean ever— center your ideals, thoughts, opinions, hobbies, interests, and your entire self and life around a man.
too many people are so focused on men and what men think about them. and let me just give you some food for thought: when have you ever done something solely for yourself without the back thought of a man’s approval? i’ll admit, back in high school i spent all four years thinking about men and seeking validation from a man. from my freshman year all up until my senior year i was in back to back relationships because i couldn’t even fathom the thought of being without a man. and you know what that did for me? it made me miserable, it made me more insecure, and it made me put myself into situations that the person who i am now would be insanely repulsed by because what the fuck was i thinking? majority of my teenage years were spent centering my life around men, and i was miserable.
now, at my current age at this point in my life, i am so unbelievably lucky to be engaged to the man of my dreams, but! i remember when my partner and i first started dating, my therapist asked about 5-6 months into my relationship, “do you feel like you depend on him for your happiness?” and it made me think, “oh my god, what if i am? what if all the anxieties i have about my relationship are because i rely too much on him for my own happiness?” while my relationship with him is the healthiest, happiest, and most healing relationship i’ve ever been in, i had to learn to be okay with being by myself; with being in the company of my own, without him, because i can’t depend on him for company or happiness or peace— i have to depend on myself for those things, and he’s just my wonderful partner that i get to enjoy and experience life with. he’s not my entire life. he’s only a part of it.
you have to learn to be happy and to find peace with being by yourself. your whole life can’t be surrounding the idea of a man.
here are a couple posts that i’ve found to be really helpful with how to decenter men:
“decentering men and recentering yourself” by @honeytonedhottie
“how to decenter men” by @femmefatalevibe
stop seeking validation from others
not only do people seek validation from men, they seek validation from literally anyone. parents, teachers, bosses, friends, classmates, colleagues; people are looking from validation from all the wrong sources. you, yourself, should be the only person you seek validation from. you should be setting your own standard from yourself.
again, looking for validation from any outside source only makes you lose yourself more and more in the process. you forget all about what you want and need from yourself because you’re so focused on what other people need and want from you. validate yourself, affirm yourself, just be there for yourself. you don’t need anyone or anything else telling you that you’re doing something right. you’ll know what’s right for you because you should know yourself better than anyone else!
set boundaries
chapter three was all about learning how to say no and how to set boundaries, so i highly recommend going back to that chapter and reviewing it since i go more in-depth on that topic!
setting boundaries for yourself is one of the best things to do to regain your self respect. knowing what exactly you want from yourself and from others and setting that line will not only protect your happiness and peace, but it will also show an immense amount of respect that you have for yourself to others who may think that they don’t have to respect you.
ᥫ᭡. self respect as a whole
respecting yourself means respecting your peace, your privacy, your thoughts, your opinions, your emotions; you as a person. it protects you from things and people that could potentially harm you, whether it’s physically, mentally, emotionally, or spiritually.
protect your peace. protect your happiness. protect your mind and your body. when you disrespect yourself by partaking in an overuse of harmful substances, having unprotected sex with someone you don’t even have a genuine connection to, or accepting behaviors from someone who’s constantly hurting you or betraying your trust you become a doormat for people to walk all over you in life.
i have known too many people, myself included, who disrespected themselves and faced one too many hardships in life. it makes us miserable and that misery turns into so many mental health issues that can sometimes cause too much harm that it makes it 100 times more difficult to recover.
self respect doesn’t have to be hard. you can always start small by just taking care of yourself! this has been a recurring theme in this series, but here i am to say it again: prioritize yourself! respect that you have needs and wants and do things for yourself that make you feel good and that benefit you. self care is vital, and respecting the fact that your own health needs to be in check is a wonderful first step towards gaining more self respect.
you have to show up for yourself, you have to immerse yourself in activities/hobbies/media that’s actually good for you— not what you think is good for you, you have to be kind to yourself, and you have to love yourself, babes. seriously, self respect can be a really simple thing at the end of the day and it can come so easily to you if you just let it be. don’t make your life harder by disrespecting yourself.
ᥫ᭡. final notes
we’re nearing the end of this mini series! chapter five will be the final chapter! i’m so thankful that this series has been shown so much love so far and i hope that it’s been able to help you guys as much as it helped me! i know i’ve been writing all of these, but something about creating content like this really motivates me to keep moving forward with my own self improvement journey.
i hope you guys always know i’m with you every step of the way in this journey. you never have to walk it alone, trust me! i know i always talk about being there for yourself, but other people (who are genuinely worth it, of course) can be there for you too! we’ve all got the same goal: to better ourselves. it’s going to be a difficult and long journey, but we’ll make it together!
with lots of love, juno 🌷
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lullabyalikpoptarot · 3 days ago
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Jungkook's Career Reading
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Now time for the last member for BTS' career reading. I would leave it to Jungkook to give me some intensity here, so some promising cards, but there is some darkness here too.
So, we start with the Pluto energy. I was surprised to get this, but I really shouldn't be though. This card usually just gives me that there is some old stuck, murky energy that needs to be released. The color is very murky, can't think of anything else. So, he may need to remove some dark energy or toxicity out of his life regarding his career. There is a lot of dark shadows around him when it comes to his career. I am hearing Come Clean by Hilary Duff. He's got to work on clearing this energy.
Now, we got to the 5 of Pentacles, the first word that I noticed was the Darkside of money. I feel this may relate to him somehow and if you read his perspective reading. You may know what I am referring to, because I am being pulled to that reading. He may also feel neglected, left out, not sure he feels he has much support when it comes to his career or maybe this is how he feels right now that he is in the Military. He might be in a doom and gloom energy right now. But the 5 of Pentacles isn't about emotions. It is about maybe not feeling safe and comfortable at the moment, and he may now feel that way regarding his career as well.
Now, with this Angel card. I can see this as he does have a lot of angelic support and guidance around him. I also see this as him being a gentle soul and very caring towards others and wanting to support and protect others, maybe this is others in the industry.
With this Addict card, the imagery here speaks to me. He wants to push away any negativity that may come from the industry and try to fight and resist temptation, not sure what that is, but that popped up. I am not sure if he has any addictions, but he tries not to fall prey to it, or any patterns this industry tries to cultivate in him.
Now, I see promising things for him with the Tarot cards. I can see the world card as he does have global appeal, and he can impact the world with his art and music. I can still see him doing that once he is out. I feel there is a lot of music he wants to create. He wants to explore and try new things and expand himself. I see an adventurous and rebellious nature to him as well. I see that in his music already, so there will be more of that. I see him trying to visualize what he plans to do.
I do see a lot of stress, worries and sleepless nights with him. I wonder if there is some sort of bullying with him. There is a sense he could be taunted by others or just taunted by the past. I am not sure if this is the Miliary or the industry, but I am asking about his career, but current energy sometimes seeps through my readings.
Now, it is interesting that the devil card was exactly behind this 6 of Wands when I pulled the card out, which gives me there is something darker and more sinister to his success and rise to fame that is hiding behind all the glitz and glam, not liking that, but this goes along with my perspective reading. There are chains that comes with success for him. It isn't all that it seems.
I am not really understanding this false assumption card here. This card is urging him to let go of a need to be right and making false assumptions. Now, maybe he is prone to do that and maybe he is making things worse than what it is, but I don't get that impression from the cards or his energy. I was looking at the cards for some answer to this and the keyword on one of the cards says, "a sense of lack in life." I think that could be it. He may feel he has nothing in life, but he actually has an abundance of things. If he starts to look at what he has rather than what he doesn't have. He may start to feel better about himself and his situation. He may just focus on the downsides, which can lead him into misery.
Now, to the final cards, Peacock spirit, one of my favorite cards in this oracle. It is time to let himself shine and show his true colors. To allow his talents to flourish. To use the spotlight in a beneficial way, that can help him and others. Once he gets out of the Military. I feel this is something he may or should do. He also has the ability of communicating to the masses and shedding light on some things as well, not sure what that is exactly, just go with the messages I get.
So, yeah, I do see some downsides here, but I can also see some positive things happening for him as well. Once he is able to transform all that negative energy to something far greater and more positive in his life. It is time for him to leave that negative energy behind him. I am wishing him all the best. Another interesting reading from him. Now time to get to their love readings after this. It was a fun journey regarding all their career readings.
I also find it interesting that I don't feel anything with his energy, like no blockers/protections or anything with the type of messaging he gives me, but for others I do, and I don't see their readings as dark as his. That confuses me sometimes, like why some and not others, not sure how that works. Anyway, always enjoy getting to know more of his story from my interpretation. No facts. I find his story interesting.
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giddlygoat · 3 months ago
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i’ve seen people draw guck with a scar on his temple from the memory gun. i wanted to adopt that hc asap
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orcelito · 3 months ago
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Despite all odds, I have arrived home safely👍
Turns out that the earlier goop was the better goop. The adderall goop. The adderall has worn off now though. So I am. Very incredibly out of it.
But I am home. And I will take my quick shower. And then I will climb into bed.
I do need to eat. But... later...
#speculation nation#im the special kind of tired where im more tired than hungry#which is to say my every cell is yelling at me to get some fucking sleep.#and i dont think id be much more successful at eating rn than i was this morning.#i ate. half a can of chef boyardee. which was half bc i was so focused on typing and half bc i could barely stomach it.#so i at least ate Something. but not as much as normal.#i did have an ensure in the middle of the day. so theres some nutrients too at least.#i'll eat after i get a few hours of sleep. when the edge is no longer so desperate.#and hopefully i'll be able to stomach things better then.#honestly have all nighters always been this hard or am i just getting older? i havent actually pulled an all nighter since uhhh#well there was kind of one on dead dad day. but that day sucked just in general.#last time i think was april '23 when i read t.rimax volume 9-14 within a 24 hour period while also finishing a final presentation.#even then tho i got like 2 hours of sleep. it was still pretty rough though.#like ok i guess those times were pretty awful and also i did get at least some sleep. which is more than today.#so it makes sense for me to be in worse shape rn. i also didnt get as much sleep the night before last as i wanted to#i got... ...maybe 4 hours sleep??? ummm. which isnt a good thing actuslly. no wonder im so fucking exhausted.#i can barely type right now i will be honest. it was so hard to bike home. it took all my focus to not drive off a bridge#or get pushed into traffic by wind. oh boy the wind sure did try.#then i almost tripped down the stairs at my apartment after grabbing the mail bc i Briefly was focused on my mail 🙄#barely present. total mess. but at least im home. and i already did all the thinking i need to do today.#i was brave. i perservered. i was tempted to give up around 6 am ish but i was like No. this is getting done TODAY.#so i did it. i turned it in. and i so bravely did my in class work for my 2nd class. even though i was so mentally not present the whole way#i did my thinking... i am home... rest soon.#actually its kind of funny im lying on my couch rn and i think if most other ppl were in my current state theyd fall asleep right here.#but the power of my insomnia is so. powerful. i am not at risk of falling asleep without meaning to.#only time thats ever actually happened are like. a handful of times i was like. the most tired ive ever been in my life. etc etc.#in fact idk how well i'll be able to fall asleep for my nap. i certainly couldnt last night despite how hard i tried.#hopefully this time... i am truly tired enough....pls i need to rest i am so tired 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭
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toytulini · 7 months ago
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Disclaimer im just processing some thoughts im not cancelling the show
have almost thoughts about how i find the like....narrative on here that if you have chronic "zebra" conditions youd want a doctor like House and wouldnt sue for malpractice bc at least youd have a doctor that cares about whats wrong with you but lets take it one step further. so often he does NOT give a shit about the patient and actively endangers them frequently with his god damn heoric era of medicine approach? non zero amount of times he gets a diagnosis but it comes too late, or he gets a diagnosis after their first wrong 3 guesses of the episode shut down the patients kidneys and they either have to get a transplant or they are just, doomed due to other preexisting conditions etc? idk. i know ppl are almost certainly exaggerating and just letting off steam about the very real failures of our current medical systems and the ableism baked in and All That Shit. i just think its weird how ppl romanticize House who STILL, FREQUENTLY, MULTIPLE EPISODES will actively dismiss shit in the exact way that is a problem in our current system, especially when hes being Forced Against His Will To See Clinic Parients, he loves to be dismissive as fuck of symptoms and if he was a real doctor i think he'd be fucking 50/50 on cases he Notices Something To Dig Into vs cases he dismisses as an Anxious Hysterical Woman Who Wants Attention, the only reason he's Right so frequently in his snap judgements is cos it reinforces the narrative. its like a crime drama that has the mastermind serial killer masterfully using "loopholes" and lawyering up all sneaky and dodging Justice and if only our poor little cop protags were allowed to do A TEENY BIT of Justified Police Brutality, they could Save Lives!
and like sometimes in the show they will have a patient die despite his efforts to narratively punish him. not to mention, i think its been at least mildly brought up and glossed over how much they absolutely do not think about insurance costs for these ppl for the insane amount of tests that find nothing and Wrong Medications To Force A Diagnosis they use? i think it was brought up once in the episode following a day in the life of cuddy where she had to fight a lawsuit bc a guys insurance like didnt cover his thumb being reattached but chase reattached it anyway while in surgery cos it was The Right Thing To Do and the guy didnt have the money to cover it and the insurance wouldnt pay unless he sued the hospital or whatever. thats like the only time its come up. whereas like frequently the doctor I go to for osteopathic manipulation tries to check in with me and make sure im covered by insurance etc and that im not going to go broke or get buried in medical debt seeing her.
idk. just some Thoughts. not a defense of our current system and all the flaws it enables and enforces etc. his approach to medicine is really reminiscent to me of what I know of the Heroic Era Of Medicine which i dont...love? and hes framed on here as being an asshole but would kill for his patients to get them a diagnosis etc. but hes definitely extremely paternalistic to patients ? and despite some good clippable lines about ableism and being against eugenics, it honestly feels like his stance on that is kind of a toss up.
#toy txt post#AGAIN THIS IS NOT A DEFENSE OF OUR CURRENT SYSTEM NOR AM I TRYING TO 'CANCEL' THE SHOW#i am simply processing some Thoughts about it#and wishing better doctors upon all of you when you need them#doctors who Listen To You and who Put In The Effort and The Work to figure out why you feel like shit#who also arent calling you slurs the whole time and throwing random fucking medications at you that destroy your liver or whatever#but give them data. idk. like sometimes in the show it does seem like they need to do that! like the patient is actively dying and the risk#to info ratio is such that it makes sense. other times its like you like definitely couldve done other things to rule shit out but you#needed to fit this whole patient arc into a single episode#not to mention i feel like any doctor who approached shit even close to the way he does would Not have his success rate#no matter how smart the payoff would Not be worth it bc theyd kill more patients. they would not be getting lucky everytime. real life does#not have a plot narrative to fulfill if house treated you he'd just fucking kill you#also one more disclaimer I AM AWARE DR GREGORY HOUSE IS A FICTIONAL MADE UP BLORBO CHARACTER#AND THAT MOST OF THE PPL JOKING ABOUT THIS DO NOT NEED THE REMINDERS OR WARNINGS OR DISCLAIMERS ABOUT HIM ETC ETC#IM SIMPLY THINKING ABOUT HIM AND THIS SHOW AND REAL LIFE#and am only a little bit uncomfortable w the level to which his approach is romanticized on tumblr dot com. but i understand why and like#fair enough#anyway watching house MD is like a sawbones episode displaced in time and Very Worrying#i just have the finale of s7 left and then i will start s8#and i am dreading the aphobia episode. but it cannot be worse than the horrific intersexism and transphobic he's put on display right#right?#i guess its probably not worse in that from what ive seen on tumblr. he is being aphobic to an adult and not a teenager. so#also house is infuriating bc if you remove the doctor bit. i have met this man so many times and i want to kill him ♡#the guy who is just allowed to stampede through life being a total ass with no pushback or accountability and terrorize people#hes a bad employee and a worse boss#okay turning reblogs off on this cos i dont trust ppl. i think i have replies restricting to mutuals too so#that way this doesnt break containment and get misinterpreted
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britneyshakespeare · 1 year ago
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i might seem like just a mentally ill eccentric. but deep down i care about the children
#im talking about my job#tales from diana#i probably dont seem eccentric at all to the ppl i work w just socially anxious (which is very obvious irl & always has been w me)#i dont know how to explain my conflict about working at my high school lately other than. it's not just my trauma#with that particular building. i mean yes it's very much awoken w me when im in there#but everything that was wrong w the *culture* of my school. the way teenagers in that district acted.#it's like. exactly the way i left it seven years ago#and i think a lot of it has to do with the incompetence of the administration and i hate to say it but. individual teachers to some extent#i mean ppl just have no expectations for these children to be respectful and apply themselves#when you treat students with dignity and present their work with dignity they will feel dignified and care more.#there are lots of systemic issues that affect teenagers too that cause them to be disengaged as well#and you never know what's just going on in their individual lives that's interfering w their school success.#in many ways it's like the way they fare is so out of our hands that i get why teachers are so burnt out and cant be assed#im very much bright-eyed and bushytailed in some ways. even tho i do not see this as a glamorous job#i am very young and haven't been doing this long enough to have EVERY ideal beaten out of me. just most of em.#yeah. the culture of that high school is just awful.#in general i have very high opinions of teenagers. and low opinions of high schoolers.#it's not who they are that is wrong. it's the building they inhabit and the ways they move around it.#it's the potential of them that is being ill-served that frustrates me so much.#they deserve better and so do we as the adults working there#that's that on that
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zombienarc · 1 year ago
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professionaljester · 2 years ago
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what are you suppose to do when all the coping skills a therapist would teach you arent working
#ABC shut it#trying to self therapy myself sucks but how am i suppose to get better#but none of these skills seems to be working anymore and im just sick of it#sick of feeling depressed and bad all the time#sick of feeling like only bad things happen to me (they do)#(i get my hopes up and encourage myself for once and its always the same outcome of sadness and dissapointment)#like what am i suppose to do when the world is out to get me#and i feel like i havve no one and im so alone#its so bad i justhave a meltdown over every little thing bc nothing in my life NEVER goes right nothing good EVER happens#this is not the depression talking these are facts and tract records#itry and i try and things stuill dont work out for me#i try and make more friends and i feel like they all just think im annoying and wish i wouldnt talk to them#like i know i cant except to be talked to first but what am i suppose to do when i try to engage and im just talked over and ignored#or i get thevibe the person doesnt actually like me or is talking to me anyways just to get it over with#and and the paranoia is bad on top of just the general depressionbut what am i suppose to do abt it if i feel i cant talk to anyone abt it#bc all i do is complain but what do i have to talk abt if my life is boring and nothign interseting happens to me#the only interesting thing abt me is i know ppl who have way more interesting lives then me and are more successful than me#like what am i suppose to do when i want to kill myself but cant bc all the ways to kill yourself sound fucking horrible ways to go out
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midnightcitymoon · 1 year ago
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I feel loved and adored every day.
People always speak well of me in rooms I’m in and not in because everyone admires me & makes me feel valued.
Every bad word spoken about me or against me will fail & only look bad on the speaker tenfold.
11:11 ☆MiracleMakeAWishComeTrueSpell🌙
Eleven-Eleven, This is a call to all angels in heaven, give me a miracle and make my wish come true!
🌜☄⭐🕤🕙🕦⭐🕯🕯📰🎁🎆🎈🎉🎖🔜🔝🔔🕯💰📰💳📧📭🔥🗝🔮🛡🌟☄🌛🌞🌈
Like to Charge, Reblog To Cast spell
#everything always works out for me exactly how i wanted or better#i always have people to do all the things i want to do and they invite me#i am always invited everywhere & included in everything because i am everyone’s favorite person#i am a master manifestor and a magnet to all good things bc my life is better than a rom com#i am a magnet to successful opportunities and loving relationships#i am a successful women’s lifestyle journalist and have the job of my dreams#i can have a bm in 45 minutes bc my digestive system is back to how i was when i was 11#i am everyone’s favorite person & all my friends & ex friends & ex love interests miss me & reach out to me wanting to reconnect#every day i get healthier & wealthier & happier & luckier because i flourish & grow in abundance&love&success&wellness with my every breath#i am friends with a bunch of celebrities and rich and famous people so i get invited to and included in events#i have a pretty pest free apartment with 1.5 baths & in unit laundry & sun & roof & fireplace & elevator in a hood i like & bubbys delivery#jo and i become friends & he helps me get a job at dotdash meredith#people always choose me over stas including molly & kelly & vic because that’s the way it is & thats what i deserve#i have that magic it quality & am as charming & charismatic & popular as stas is or more so to everyone who meets or knows me or hears of m#i have more ​concert buddies so i don’t have to rely on kelly to see them#my digestive issues are resolved and do not interfere with my quality of life or social activities#i buy whatever i want because money for fun things comes to me easily in abundance#i have financial abundance everything i spend comes back to me hundredfold#I have such an amazing life I make stas overwhelmingly jealous frequently#i am not lonely & am surrounded by multiple loyal considerate friends & love interestswho adore me & make me feel loved & seen & valued#more fun opportunities with friends that make me feel loved#I have fun things to do with friends every weekend#all my workings will be successful and accomplish what i intended without backfiring#all my wishes come true and the universe/powers that be grant me all that i ask for or better#every bad word spoken about me or against me will fail & only look bad on the speaker tenfold#people always speak well of me in rooms I’m in and not in because everyone admires me#I feel loved and adored every day#every day i lose weight from fat and am achieving my ideal body of a tiny waist and hourglass figure and toned arms#i am happy and healthy and lucky in all areas of my life all the timem#more loyal loving friends that love to dance
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aaksuitac · 2 months ago
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[04:24 am] “what are we?”
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wc: 2.3k
a/n: [fluff viktor brainrot thanks to @dilemmars. t dije q me vengaría baby, así q zas, un payback por tus podcasts jdjfjjsd. hope u like cause its ur fault]
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he’s humming something you don’t quite understand, a distant tune that sounds familiar —probably you’ve heard him sing it before—, and even if you don’t recognize the melody aside from that, you can’t help but appreciate it.
his hands fidget with whatever he can reach as he sighs once more, as if he was stealing breaths from the world, heavy, almost as lidded as his eyelids. his hair falls on his eyes and in between his slender fingers while he curls the untamed strands, and you fall into an endless pit of staring at him as he scribbles, grunts, sighs, and finally pinches the bridge of his nose.
“statistically speaking, i’m starting to feel like the chances of me getting this right are adversatively proportional to the chances of you accidentally swallowing a fly.”
and you just blink, once, then twice.
he stares at you, gives you a pointed look. he can’t really say if you understood that you were just staring at him with your mouth parted, but you squint at him, snickering.
“what,” his low voice fails to ask, unbothered, knowing that you’ll answer regardless.
and you do, answering. “you haven’t even uttered a word in a while. i was just surprised that you could still talk, is all,” you grin cheekily, playing with a screw on the table as you turn left and right on the chair you’re sitting on.
viktor looks at you, and he can’t help but crack a smile. point for you.
“what you laughing for, mhh, mister science?”
“isn’t it enough to bother me from the moment i get inside the lab in the morning that you need to do it at night too?” he pretends seriousness, side-eyeing you teasingly.
“fair enough. i will consider your offer, man of fleeting memory, and take it upon myself to bother you longer.”
his mean stare wouldn’t even make a kitten mewl, but you take you hand to your heart, pretending to be wounded.
“don’t look at me like that! you’ll hurt my feewings,” you pouted, much to his amusement.
“fleeting memory?” he scoffs, accent rolling off his tongue. “when’s the last time you lost a hairtie, mmh?” he mocks.
“unfair!” you can’t help but giggle as you pretend to hide your hair from his view. point for him. “besides. i take better care of my hair than you do of yours.” you pouted smuggly. “mine looks prettier.”
“what?” he finally asks, letting out a chuckle this time as his eyes land on you for the first time in the good part of an hour.
you play with your hair to style it, and funnily pose, hands on your cheeks as you lay your elbows on the table.
“what, don’t I look pretty?” you smiled, letting out a cheeky giggle.
yes. he doesn’t say it, but his eyes haven’t dodged back to his papers just yet. it’s another point for you. so very pretty.
he doesn’t dare. he knows it. his mind, or at least the small portion of his mind that still ties him with the occasional reminder that he’s human, looks at you and wants you in a way that he’s never wanted before.
so viktor resolves in looking at you. maybe only for a moment, maybe only on those fragments of time when he’s tired enough that he looks at the stars and at the moon, yearning to reach them, only to think he’ll miss the moonlight, finally blinking to the realization that he had been staring into your eyes for too long.
his eyes are dull as he stares at you, and your expression of worry at the fact makes his heart skip a beat. “viktor?” you mumble, softly, sleepily, warily. he can’t stop staring at you, and while he supposes success and defeat can look the same in a mirror —therefore, he doesn’t really blame your confusion—, he finds no words to explain which one he’s feeling as you move your chair towards him by a push against the floor, solely accompanied by the sound of the little wheels rolling to him.
he grabs his walking stick and turns it around, pretending to poke at your chair, as if to teasingly shove it away. if you realize that he settles the walking stick just in the correct place so that your stool can’t move back, he doesn’t know. viktor just stares at the floor, to pretend that maybe the way your eyes turn tender when his reflection shines on them has nothing to do with what you’re about to say.
tsk, tsk. clueless viktor.
he’s expecting it, yes, but even with that on mind, he can’t phathom how your course of action chooses laughing as you fidget with the loose button on his vest, the second one from the top down. viktor purposely forces himself to stable his breathing, worry seeping into him, thinking that maybe you could feel his heartbeat grow faster beneath the layers of clothing.
and he feels like the remnants of a cheap ring that stain a finger blue, when comparing himself as he stands —sits— close and next to you. maybe its because you usually wear rings, and he can feel the ghost of them as your hand trails up and absentmindedly fixes his collar.
he can almost see it. your mind working, the pieces falling into place, the—
“either my eyes are deceiving me or yours have been on my lips for a rather long time.”
and he can just. blink. as if that could break how mesmerized he feels, how his heart swells up and covers his throat, how inexplicably he feels when you’re with him, near and alone. the need to know more. the need to use every trinket and screw to map out your body for him to explore, and to map out the wonders of your mind for the world to admire and maybe then find out the reason of his inability to look away.
he was so focused before. used to be.
he is. now, at you. of you. on you.
you.
another point for you. he isn’t keeping count, but something tells him he’s losing.
and as his gaze falls back to your lips in between a battle against your eyes, lost in which to stare and sink into their devotion, he hesitates again.
he thinks its funny. so funny, viktor holds back the dry chuckle that threatens to go past his lips. how to cherish you in a way that matters. how to love, the scientist wonders. is there a way that would allow him to unveil and unravel himself to you? could there be some kind of language, able to express the depth of his insides, that you, too, could understand?
what is love, anyways? is he in love with you because his coffee tastes better when it matches the dark of your pupils? because when he takes the mug from your hand and his fingers brush against yours, it seems warmer? because he notices how the dark shade in your eyes seems to mix with that of your irises, and the way the black eats the colour when you stare at him? because he claims to hate company while he studies alone, but one chair remains empty as he works, waiting for who it was meant for? because when he fails and surrenders himself to the fall, throws his walking stick against the wall, he yearns for your embrace and how your hair smells in the evenings?
is that love? and if it is, could you understand it?
if it is love, and he could say it, would such a short word convey its meaning, or was he speculating just a couple of paragraphs ago? was he assuming the meaning of what love entails?
even so. if he said it, would you repeat it? would you claim you love him because he loves you, claim to love him too? would you instead claim to love him despite everything, even the uncertainty of love itself?
…does he accept it himself?
he’s overwhelmed by the sheer amount of voices in his head. there’s too much chatter. too many questions he can’t answer, too many commas, too many question marks. too much, too much, too many.
so he silences them. makes the voices dim to a deep silence. and when his lips find themselves suddenly against yours, he finds out the true, effervescent meaning of quietness.
his hand fails to pull you closer because of the damn walking stick that gets in the way. or maybe its the chairs you’re both on that clash against each other. maybe its matter itself. for a while, its the first time viktor doesn’t want to know.
in a bold statement, he couldn’t give a fuck.
he’s kissing you.
and it should be bad because of all the unanswered questions. he’s skipping procedure. he’s gone from the fuck around to finding out and he doesn’t know where he is at this point.
what he does know, is that your hand pulls him by his necktie, and he’s gone. science? yours only. the science that he’d study all of the nights he may have left. the science behind what makes you. the science behind how your hand craddles his face while stroking his cheekbones. the science behind how you’re the closest you’ve ever been to him and somehow still not close enough. the science behind the reason why when you pull away makes his heart beat so loudly, as if it had forgotten how to a second ago.
your forehead rests against his. he shouldn’t have done that. he just… did it. maybe that was bad. was it? could it be? he had been waiting for so long too. he never thought he would…
“viktor, what are we?”
and he’s dead. he knows what the question implies, but he doesn’t want to answer. he could follow you like a lost puppy through piltover and zaun and hell knows where else. if he wasn’t dead now he would die right there and now without a second thought, because the feeling that overcame him was that love was suddenly a sentence or two away.
he knows he doesn’t dare. it’s one of the only thing he knows, one of the things he’s sure of.
but somehow, he moves. he stands up, takes the walking stick, and attempts to walk out the feeling that bounces inside him.
the walking stick always makes a noise when he walks, one with dificulties to interpret in terms of onomatopeia. not quite a thud, not deep enough to reach that quality. not a clack, for it is not entirely made of metal. still, as if it was a mix of both, he keeps walking.
viktor is nervous. thud-clack. he’s not moving far from his chair, nor is he going somewhere else. thud-clack. he still keeps pacing. thud-clack. maybe the answer is somewhere in the room. thud-clack. maybe he can reply.
thud-clack, thud-clack, thud-clack.
only does he then realize that he hasn’t answered your question. and a non-answer statement might as well be a rejection.
no. no, no, no. fuck.
he’s sitting again, but you stand up. your hair follows, long. moving and brushing against the skin of your shoulders in a way that he can’t help but claim it to be endearing.
you’re walking. you don’t make any kind of extra sound when you walk. your heels reverberate against the floor like any other, yet also they mark the beat of his heart.
he can’t reach for you. you walk too fast.
you stop when you feel the walking stick on your side. the part made for him to lean on as he walks hooks you, and you stand, not facing him.
he doesn’t use the walking stick as he stands. no, he keeps it hooked to your core, scared that you might leave. you could, he wouldn’t blame you. but he can’t allow it.
he holds it in the air as he takes one step. another step. you’re turning, surprised to see him standing, and you gasp when he lets himself fall on you.
your touch surrounds him. yes. that’s the closeness he needed. he drops the walking stick, his hands slithering on your body, pressing you against him, for no reason at all yet because it is all needs.
“what can we be?” he whispers. he takes the science approach. the viktor approach.
he isn’t too clueless after all.
he raises enough to look at your darkened, sleepy eyes. he wants to drown in them.
“if i wanted to kiss you everytime you hand me coffee, wanted you to sit on the same chair as ne and hug me from behind as I work, wanted you.” he swallows dry. “then, what can we be?”
he doesn’t want to say the words, and its petty.
it’s the 31st when the clock strickes five am and your hands travel through his hair to kiss him again. to unbalance him enough that he falls back on his chair and you follow him, sitting on his lap.
and as he kisses you, his hands worshipping the skin he can touch, the warmth he can feel through layers of clothing, he feels like maybe there’s a life worth living, so he can’t ask.
he’s heard boys and girls when he was young talk about it. “he didn’t want to celebrate our month-versary,” a girl cried as he played with his little boat, watching from afar as she was comforted by her friend.
it’s the 31st. and he can’t really ask the question now, because if he says it, how could you celebrate each month?
he moves the chair and holds you in his arms as your back falls against the table before him. maybe he can kiss you until next month. until the clock strikes and it’s the 1st.
he smiles as he kisses you, feeling you pull his necktie off. he thinks it’s the best idea he’s had in a while. and a true scientist always tries out their hypothesis.
~k.k. (☆) have fun!
aaksuitac, november 2024 ©
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hughiecampbelle · 6 months ago
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The Boys Preference: Wearing Their Clothes
Requested: i followed you for succession and currently im the boys brainrotted so you wouldnt believe my excitement when i realised you wrote for the boys too!!!!! i want to request maybe hc on how the boys would react to reader wearing their sweater/tshirts - anon
A/N: My love, the brain rot is so real!!! When I tell you I have an entire folder of The Boys edits, I mean I am kicking my feet and giggling at these people covered in blood lol. Thank you for requesting! Please feel free to again, I absolutely love writing preferences! I hope you like it!!!! Feedback is always appreciated 💜
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Butcher absolutely adores you wearing his coat. It drives him wild. It started one night where you two were alone, the group split up. While everyone else had their own jobs, you and Butcher were on surveillance. It was freezing out. He noticed the goosebumps on your arms. You swore you were fine, but he could tell you were putting up a front. Oi, just take it. Not wanting to blow your cover and fight, you put his coat around your shoulders, thanking him. It's a long night and you take shifts. When he catches you curled in a ball, his coat wrapped around you, it tugs at his heartstrings. Something about this image of you just makes him melt. After that, he's eager to see it again. Realizing this, you never turn down his offer. Now you basically have 50/50 custody. You like it. It's warm and worn, but it also smells like him and, when you're apart, remains a reminder that he's always looking out for you. Both M.M. and Frenchie are full of jokes when they catch you wearing it, but Annie and Hughie find it endearing.
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Hughie loves that you wear his t-shirts and hates it. Not only do you look better in them than him, which is annoying enough, and now everyone finds them funny now that you're wearing them, but now he can never find the one shirt he wants to wear. It's either on your body or in your closet. Of course he would never stop you, he doesn't want you to stop, but he does wish there was a little bit more of a compromise. You wore it the first time you slept over. Your shirt had been discarded somewhere you couldn't find, but Hughie's was right there. He tried not to show it, he tried not to get caught smiling, but he was way too obvious. Something about seeing you in his shirt made his day, his life. It never gets old. When it's laundry day, most of your clothes end up being his. Now he has double the laundry. Still, it's worth it. His clothes always come back smelling like you. When they get ripped or torn from fights you apologize profusely, but he's just glad you're okay. Who cares about a stupid shirt?
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Annie has always loved you in her clothes. When you moved in together, your clothes just sort of became jumbled. Neither of you felt the need to separate them, so you really can't tell if the sweater you're wearing is hers of yours. When she buys clothes she always makes sure you like what she's picking out so that you both can wear it. No one even noticed what you two were doing, that one day you'd be wearing a shirt and a few days later it would be her turn, it's just sort of become a thing. When something gets ripped or torn or covered in blood, you're the first to make jokes. I loved that sweater, you say, though Annie knows what you really mean is it's a stupid piece of clothing, you're just glad she's okay, that's all that matters. Your favorite thing is to look at pictures where, in one, you're wearing this sweater and, in the next, she is. Something about that puts a smile on your face.
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M.M. feels a little insecure. You used to love wearing his shirts. Truthfully, no one can tell what's his and what's yours, your and his clothes are so blended. Since becoming in charge of The Boys, as close to a leader as possible, he's lost a lot of weight. Grown smaller, and his clothes no longer fit you. You of course still have his old shirts, but his new wardrobe just doesn't fit. You assure him it's just temporary. The anxiety, the OCD, it really hurts his appetite. He can't even think about food anymore. Still, realizing that you can no longer share, it makes him self-conscious. Something about you wearing his clothes made him think that he was there with you always, that this was a way to protect you, as silly as it might sound. Now that you wear your clothes more, he isn't there to save you. It just adds to his many worries. You assure him you'll be safe, you'll always come back to him, but he just can't help it. You make a point to wear his older shirts as much as possible, not wanting him to worry more than he does.
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Frenchie literally can't tell when you're wearing his clothes vs. your own. His style is pretty eclectic. His pants alone are bright and patterned and, to his friends, a fashion offense. His clothes are rarely organized, so you end up picking through piles to find something specific. Most of the time you have to point out when you've got one of his jackets or shirts on. He of course thinks you look better in them than him and he makes it known. Your friends make fun of you and him for some of the outrageous outfits you put together. Everything is worn in and soft and smells like him, a mix of cologne and fabric softener and smoke. Not realizing, Frenchie wears your clothes, too. Only when you ask for a shirt back or where it is does he realize oh! so this belongs to you. Neither of you mind. It makes you happy seeing him wear your clothes. He definitely styles is better than you.
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Kimiko's entire closet is all black. Not only is it easy to blend in with the crowd, and it all matches, but it can also hide the sight of blood. Neither of you can really tell whose shirt or pants or jacket belongs to who, considering most of your clothes are pretty identical. Still, she'll poke fun at you every so often when she realizes you've got on one of her shirts. Is that mine? She smiles. Is it? You didn't even realize. You always ask her if she wants it back, if she wants you to change, but she shakes her head. She tells you look good in it, badass even, and you shrug it off, though it means a lot. You and Kimiko both are still figuring out how relationships work. It takes a lot of trust, something neither of you were very well versed in. Sharing clothes is just another way you two show that you're a partnership. No one else can tell, but you can. That kind of attention would normally make alarm bells go off in your head, but you know Kimiko, you know she does it out of affection and not something more sinister.
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Bonus! Homelander rarely, if ever, wears civilian clothes. If he's not in his suit, he's probably naked. You've never seen him in anything else. The only time he's done it was to see Sage and that was in secret. Still, you find a way to share by wearing his cape. Typically wrapped around you after you slip from the bed, in search of your own clothes, half-naked and embarrassed. He assured you you have never looked better. Homelander likes power. He likes when people listen to him, respect him, and show him their loyalty. You wearing his cape shows him all of that and more. He never thought he'd like you in his clothes, it's just another thing he's territorial about, but he's pleasantly surprised. Now he expects it. If you forget or just don't wear it, his ego is pretty wounded. You assure him it's nothing against him. Now you go out of your way to do so, knowing it makes him so happy.
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Bonus! Soldier Boy feels such an attraction to you when you wear his clothes. He doesn't really wear anything but his suit, so one day you jokingly put it on. You filled it out differently than he did, but it didn't look horrible. When he saw you, he was all smiles. The first thing that comes to mind is wanting to take it off you *wink wink*. What was a joke is now something you do on special occasions, putting it on and parading around in it. The things he says are awfully dirty and make you laugh every time. You never thought something as silly and simple as putting on his suit would end up driving him this wild. You should have known, it makes perfect sense, but you just never realized. When he does, on rare occasions, wear regular clothes, he's the first to suggest that you share. It isn't as enticing as wearing his suit, but the attraction is still there. It makes him feel like you belong to him, that you want to show that off. Nothing matters more to him than that. Nothing makes him feel more seen.
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idolomantises · 5 months ago
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Wasn't sure when it would be the best time to discuss this, but since the ending is drawing near... yes, Bugtopia is ending.
It was a decision I really wrestled with myself for months over it, before finally concluding that letting it end after 40 episodes was the better option. Just to be clear, webtoons did not force me to end the series. They even offered to give me a pay raise to continue the series. It was my decision due to a multitude of personal factors. I'll just repeat what I said on my patreon:
I just want to say, first of all, thank you all so much for patiently waiting for my series to release and for supporting my work as I began developing the series. Bugtopia was a series I genuinely loved and adored and it made me feel so incredibly happy that people were turning their heads towards a series about weird bugs and their natural lives.
However, as you can probably guess, it pains me to say that I am concluding the series after season 1. I had 4 seasons planned with new characters to introduce, but unfortunately, I cannot see myself continuing to work with Webtoons and I want to pursue other projects.
This decision was due to a compiling number of issues with the company, the final straw was when they had a mass layoff, fired my editor that I've been working with for two years, and did not inform me for a week, leaving me in the dark until they randomly assigned me with someone else. My new editor is great and I'm glad I'm working with someone so patient and understanding, but this decision to fire my previous editor, the one who got me the job to begin with, without prior warning made me feel disrespected and disregarded, and it killed all motivation I had for properly completing the series.
I also felt incredibly overworked, I was spending vacation days working on comics and avoiding time with family just so I could get something done for webtoons once I come home. I feel like so much time was being wasted away for a company that paid me so little that I had to work twice as hard building up funds on my patreon. Bugtopia just ate up so much of my time. The pay also didn't make up for it. It's commonly assumed that webtoons authors make about $800 for the episodes they do, but that's not true. In fact, you can make far less depending on the amount of panels expected for your contract. It doesn't help that the artwork i did for banners and promotions were all things I had to draw and didn't get paid for, and the work I gave was either tampered with or scrapped, making me feel like I spent more hours of my day wasting time. There were also comics I had to censor and scrap, likely due to another series being in hot water for its racially insensitive content. But it was just extra work I wasn't being paid for. It also frustrated me because I was seeing other series with far more explicit content getting away with a slap on the wrist (turns out you can't say "fuck" anymore without it being hit with a mature rating, disappointing!)
In all honesty, it just felt like webtoons needed me more than I needed them. I was making more money from patreon in a week than I was making from webtoons in a month.
Personally, while I don't really regret my time with Webtoons and met some great people along the way, I honestly don't think any artist should work with them. You will be severely overworked and underpaid, and will barely be featured in ads unless your series becomes an instant hit immediately. It doesn't really matter how successful you are, you're just a product to Webtoons, put yourself above the corporation.
I have tried my best to provide you all with a satisfying conclusion to Bugtopia, even if some episodes may feel rushed or incomplete, but I completely understand if the conclusion isn't to your liking and I do apologize, but I could not continue working on this series if this was the mistreatment I was going to continuously get. I owe a massive thank you to my editor and assistants for helping me complete the series, I truly don't think I could have ever finished it without them.
Though I am done with Bugtopia, that does not mean I want to stop projects entirely, so please don't feel bad for me. I have a lot of upcoming projects and ideas in the works, and I'm still continuing the Monsters and Girls series.
Will Bugtopia ever return... possibly. I retain complete ownership of the series after a few years, and I wouldn't mind continuing the canvas series (or possibly starting over). Unfortunately I don't think I can continue the Webtoon Original as it belongs to webtoons now, but never say never I suppose!
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thesummerestsolstice · 4 months ago
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Notes on Keeping the Children Alive, by Maedhros Feanorian
One of them tried to bite me yesterday. A spirited effort, but doomed to failure. I will teach them how to do it better– their teeth are certainly sharp enough for it.
Woke up with flowers growing through the crack in my bedroom window. I suspect this is their doing. They are not very good liars.
Letting them climb on me has proved an effective bribe for good behavior.
They appear to like being tall. (possibly related to being descended from Turgon and Thingol??)
They stopped being afraid of me faster than most adults. Am I losing my touch???
Disregard previous note. Eldritch monsters recognize each other.
Am teaching them how to make the most of their shapeshifting abilities for political intimidation. They are shaping up to be menaces. Good.
Twins are old enough to begin swordfighting, and clearly eager, regardless of what Maglor says.
I have taught the children to argue with Maglor. I am certain they will eventually wear him down.
Gave the children more blankets so they would stop using my cloak as a blanket. New blankets have been resolutely ignored.
I am sure they'll stop commandeering my coat if I ask them.
I have decided not to ask them. (They are very cute when they are asleep)
Children are now attempting to negotiate their way out of bedtime.
Small animals appear to like the children. Especially birds.
They found a kitten in the stables yesterday. They would like to keep it.
Teaching the children to argue may have been an error.
Children asked whether it was possible to have three fathers. I am uncertain why. (Thingol homophobic??)
One of the children called me "Atar" today. Definitely did not cry about it. Not even a little bit.
It appears the children were asking about three fathers because they would like to be adopted.
I informed them that two fathers was the limit, but that Maglor could be their second mother, if they like.
Kano was too stunned at being acknowledged as the children's parent to correct them about calling him "Amme." Another successful plan.
(Kano, if you're reading this, then yes, this is payback for referring to me as a "brooding drama queen" for patrolling Himring's walls, in a very un-dramatic way, like a normal, responsible lord)
(Also, you of all people do not get to criticize me for being dramatic)
The children's Quenya is finally good enough for them to start reading higher level diplomacy treatises. I couldn't be prouder.
The children have never done anything wrong, ever, in their lives. I know this and I love them.
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lowkeyerror · 1 month ago
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Help With The Curriculum
Agatha Harkness x Reader
Word count: 3.5k
Notes: Professor!Harkness, Professor!Reader, smut, cunnulingus, fingering, dirty talk, thigh riding, pregnancy/breeding kink mentioned, Let me know if there are more
Summary: Both you and Agatha are history professors at university. The students often compare your courses so Agatha attends one of your lectures. She asks you to go to dinner with her, to help her come up with a more engaging curriculum. Just meal between two educators... until it’s not
An: I see a lot of professor Agatha content and I wanted in 🤷‍♀️.
Masterlist | Series Masterlist
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Professor Harkness was a scary woman. You had heard students mumble about her in the hallways and in your own classroom as well. They’re were often a lot of comparisons between the two of you, considering you were both history professors.
Students who ended up in your course before it filled up, were considered the lucky ones. Anyone else had to take on professor Harkness.
Her approach to teaching was very no-nonsense and straight-forward. Some described her lectures as too complex to follow, her paper to hard to tackle, and her attitude too much to handle.
The way they spoke about her and her course, made you feel like you were doing something wrong. You hadn’t struck fear of failure into your students. It was their money and time that they were wasting if they consistently did poorly, in your opinion.
Agatha and yourself had roughly the same success rate amongst the students. The averages were high and for that you were grateful.
You slowly paced the lecture hall as you spoke. Your voice bounced off the walls, accompanied by the low hums of laptops and the sound of typing.
The class was nearly over, but you wanted to make sure the students were prepared for the upcoming exam, so you made sure to hammer the last few points in.
“Alright, I know it’s a 3-day weekend and you all plan to make the most of it, but you should make some time to study too. When you come back, we’ll review and then the following class will be a test. Have a good weekend everyone.”
With your dismissal, everyone began to gather their things and exit the lecture hall. You head back to your desk and begin to organize some of the students’ papers.
“Your approach is a lot better than they give you credit for.”
You lift your head to meet the voice. Professor Harkness is sat in one of seats, eyes focused on you.
“Professor Harkness, to what do I owe the pleasure?”
She rises from her seat and makes her way over to your desk, “I just had to see you lecture in person. The students talk you know?”
You hum, “What do they say?”
She tilts her head in faux-thought, “Something along the line of you being a much better lecturer than I am and how your class has a better ‘vibe’ than mine.”
You chuckle at her antics, “Well, you started off by saying I deserve more credit for my work.”
Her smile is sly, “You do, because they talk about you like you’re some kind of pushover, but you don’t really come off like that.”
You shrug, “Gossip doesn’t stop in high school. We’re both good educators. Roughly the same results with the students as well. Did you come to just scope me out?”
“I was hoping to talk curriculum with you. I’ve been trying to find something more interesting, that keeps them engaged, but still feels on path with the course?”
You nod along to her words, “Sounds good, do you have anything in mind?”
“Too many to count, if I’m being honest. Maybe we can figure something out together over dinner?”
Your head stops bobbing and you give her your full attention, “Dinner?”
Professor Harkness doubles down, “Dinner. Nothing crazy, just a meal between colleagues. I’ll pick you up at 8.”
You begin to scribble a few words on a piece of paper, then hand the paper to the other professor, “I will see you tonight, Professor Harkness.”
She tucks your address into the pocket of her jacket, “Please, just Agatha.”
“Alright, Agatha, I’ll see you tonight,” her name holds weight on your tongue.
She shines you an award winning smile, “Later Professor L/n.”
Before you can correct her she’s turned her back on you opting to exit the hall. Your eyes linger on her figure as she walks out. It feels like there's an extra pep in her step, a sway in her hips, a happiness that is rarely seen on the woman. The thought that you had that kind of effect on her made you smile a little.
She was an attractive woman. It was the combination of her intellect, her charm, and her appearance. Agatha was a perfect 10 in all of the categories. It was hard not to feel something for her. Having dinner with her might be the best part of the three-day weekend.
With the distraction from Agatha, you couldn't go back to grading papers. Your body has finally caught up to your mind and you began to fluster as you thought about tonight. You already had your last class for the day so you decide to just go home.
Before you settle in too much, you go through your closet, trying to find something to wear. You had no idea, where you were going. It made it hard to pick something to wear. She did say that this was nothing crazy, and you were technically just going to talk about the curriculum, so did you really need to go all out?
You ended up going with something that was simple, but elevated. Once you had your outfit sorted out, you went to get ready. A good shower, brushing your teeth, washing your face, and doing your hair, were all things you did.
It was 8pm sharp when your doorbell rang. You took in a deep breath, shaking the nerves away.
“It’s just dinner,” you mumble to yourself, opening the door.
To your relief Agatha isn’t super dressed up either. She’s wearing clothes that are nice, but casual. A round pair of glasses sit on her face, she looks cute in them.
“You look good,” she says taking in your attire.
“I could say the same to you,” you return the compliment.
“Shall we?”
You step out of your house and the two of you walk side by side to her car. She opens the door for you and you slide in the passenger seat. When she gets in the driver’s seat, she begins to speak.
“Before we go anywhere, I have to ask… are we above going to Chili’s?”
You laugh at her question, “What, are we too old for a triple dipper and $6 margaritas?”
“I don't think I’ll ever be too old for a $6 marg.”
“Then what are we waiting for?”
There’s a comfortable silence that envelopes the two of you on the drive. You hum quietly along to the music playing on the radio. You notice Agatha tapping her finger to the beat against the steering wheel.
Your gaze hyper fixates on the details of her hand. There were pronounced veins running along the top, her fingers were slender, and her knuckles were rosy. Her nails seemed to be manicured, but no paint was placed over them.
When you arrive at Chili’s you are surprised to be seated quickly amongst the busy establishment. It was a Friday night leading into a three- day weekend so, the crowd was as large as they expected it to be. Both of you are quick to order a margarita before even looking at the menu.
“So, have you narrowed down any of the choices for the curriculum?”
Agatha seems uncertain as she speaks, “How do you feel about Salem?”
You raise your brow, “Massachusetts?”
Agatha rolls her eyes, but laughs, “Where else, professor?”
“First off, it’s Y/n. Secondly, I was just clarifying. I think Salem is a city filled with history,” you add.
“Is it college-level interesting though? Do you think the students will think it's childish?”
You shake your head, “I’m sure with your teaching style you could make SpongeBob seem like important government documents.”
She laughs, “Be honest, I know you hear students’ gossip, is my course really that much harder than yours?”
You shrug, “Everything is dramatic at their age, I’d have to take a page from your book and sit in on your lecture to see.”
Agatha smiles slyly, “You’re welcome to pop in at any time.”
“Did my lecture seem like a cake walk to you?”
“No, I have a feeling you just sound nicer than I do,” Agatha reveals.
You shake your head, “I think you’re nice.”
She rolls her eyes again, “I’m nice to you, but that’s different.”
You challenge her, “How so?”
The professor seems to fluster a bit, luckily she has a chance to regroup when the waitress comes to take your order. Once she walks away, Agatha thinks she had successfully dodged the question, but you don't let the topic go so suddenly.
“I’m waiting Professor Harkness.”
She scratches the back of her neck, “Well we are colleagues, so it’s a different type of dynamic.”
You hum, “Interesting, but you didn't say you're nice to all the professors, just to me. I don’t mean to assume, but I don’t know if I can say your reputation is only infamous with the student body. I’m pretty sure Professor Lewis is terrified of you.”
“What do you want me to say? You’re easy on the eyes sweetheart.”
You feel your face heat with her words. It’s now you that is sputtering for response, ��I- uh-"
“Lucky, we teach history and not English,” Agatha teases you further.
Your mouth opens in shock, “You enjoy seeing me flustered like this?”
Agatha leans back in her seat, “I’m not going to say that I don’t enjoy seeing you flustered. I think it’s adorable.”
You scoff playfully, “So you asked me out just to see me flustered then? Because it seems like you had Salem in mind this whole time. Meaning you just wanted to have some one-on-one time with me, professor.”
Agatha begins to stumble over words like you had moments prior. Her cheeks taking on a light pink shade as you had caught her red handed.
“Would you have agreed otherwise?”
You see her looking at the table. You reach across placing your hand in hers. The movement causes her to meet your gaze. You smile at her sweetly.
“Agatha, I agreed anyway. I had a feeling you didn't need my help, considering you've been doing this longer than I have. I'm sure you could've asked Professor Vidal if you really needed a good opinion.”
“Rio is too annoying to ask. I still would've asked you, even if I wasn't drawn to you.”
You chuckle to yourself, “Drawn to me, huh? I felt your eyes on me the entire lecture. I wonder if you even heard anything I said.”
Agatha bites her lip, “What can I say? Your outfit was distracting professor.”
“Maybe next time we can do something about that,” you say to her suggestively.
“Something like what?”
Your food comes in the middle of the conversation. You pull your hand out of hers to grab a fry. You pop the fry into your mouth.
“Maybe take it off, if it’s such a distraction.”
Agatha's eyes darken, “Don’t threaten me with a good time, sweetheart.”
You don't fold under her stare, “I don't make threats Agatha, just promises.”
“Do you want to get out of here?”
The question is all it takes for you to quickly pay and get to go boxes for your food. The anticipation only builds once you’re in the car. You can hardly keep yourself from losing control right there.
Agatha drives you to her place. You barely get through the door when she’s shoving your back against it. Her lips on yours. Your hands fall into the dips of her hips, while her’s rest on your face. You kiss her back with fervor. It’s clear to you that she wants to dominate you, but you don’t know if you want her to do that.
You pull away slightly out of breath, “Nice place, professor.”
“The bedroom is the best room in the house,” she returns equally out of breath.
“Show me.”
When you get to the bedroom it’s you pushing her against the wall. Your lips attach to her neck sucking harshly.
“Possessive much?” You can feel the vibration of her throaty chuckle against your lips.
You bite down on her exposed skin before soothing it with your tongue, “Is there someone else marking you up like this?”
Her breath hitches at the tone in your voice, “No.”
“Good, because you’re mine now and I don’t like sharing.”
In a swift motion her shirt is over her head and you’re kissing once again. The feeling of her bare skin against your hands only fuels the passion between you. She’s warm and her skin is soft.
Your hand trails down past the waistband of her pants straight for her cunt. She’s already soaked for you. You groan at the feeling of her wetness on your fingers.
“So ready for me baby.”
She whines for you, “Please, inside.”
“Patience professor, you can't have a body like this and expect me not to want to explore it a bit.”
You pull your hand from her underwear. You opt to kiss the top of her breasts while you unhook her bra. Her hands tangle in your hair. As soon as they’re free, your mouth latches on to one of her nipples.
You suckle them, swirling your tongue around the already stiff bud.
“Teeth baby, I like it a little rough.”
You comply, your teeth scraping the skin eagerly. Biting, marking, claiming her as your own. Her hands fall from your hair to climb up your shirt.
“I need to feel you,” she whispers.
You fumble with your shirt and pull it over your head. You see her eyes dilate as she has a full view of your abdomen. She meets your gaze as to ask for permission. Your response is taking your bra off. She takes a hand full of your breasts and you sigh in relief.
She massages them tenderly. At the same time she guides you to the bed. Your back hits the mattress and she straddles your waist. The way she touches you makes you warm on the insides; it’s addictive.
Your hips buck under her weight. She smiles slyly grinding down against your pants. The feeling is obscured by the fabric in-between and so you become desperate to remove it. You start with the button to her jeans. She stands to pull them off and you shimmy yours off while lying on the bed.
You groan at the sight of Agatha’s dripping core. She tries to climb back on to your waist but you use her arms to move her higher up your body. She doesn’t resist, resting her thighs on either side of your head.
Having a whiff of her arousal makes you lose your composure. You bury your face into her juicy pussy.
“Fuck,” she can’t help but rut against your ravenous tongue. “You look so hot under me, baby. God, I’d give you an A plus in eating me out.”
You grunt against her at the praise. Your arms hook over her thighs, keeping her in place.
“Don’t stop,” she roughly grabs your hair, biting her lip as she chases her high.
You take the new pace in stride. Your lips enclose her clit, sucking harshly, remembering her request to be rough. Your hot breath on her clit mixed with the intense sucking is almost enough to make her cum. It’s when your teeth gnaw experimentally at her clit that she comes undone.
From this angle you can see her pussy clenching around nothing. You can’t help yourself as you stick two fingers inside of her. Slowly you pump in and out of her, relishing in the feeling of her walls around your fingers.
“Can you give me another professor?”
“As many as you want, baby. Keep fucking me all night,” she cries out.
You begin pumping at a sharper tempo. You add a third finger and not long after, she’s cumming again.
Finally you move her back into your lap, sitting up to bombard her with your lips. She needed to taste how sweet she was. You only break the kiss to shove your fingers in her mouth.
She hums, bobbing her head up and down your fingers. The sight alone makes your cunt ache. You realize how soaked you are in that moment. Her mouth is almost just as tight and warm as her cunt.
When your fingers fall from her mouth, you gasp. You don’t have a clue as to when Agatha’s hand had neared your pooling heat, but it did. She pulls your panties to the side easily slipping a finger inside of you. Your head falls on her shoulder and she chuckles.
“All worked up from having my pussy in your mouth, sweetheart? My taste has you this wet.”
You nod against her, “All for you, professor. You taste so sweet.”
“And how do you taste sweetheart?”
She slips the finger was inside of you, into her mouth. Her eyes close at the taste, “Fuck, I need more of you.”
She lays you back with your legs hanging off of the edge of the bed. She kneels on the floor, spreading you further for her. Her finger slips back into you and her mouth begins to leave hot open kisses on your thighs. They pace up your thighs before lapping up the drool that spills out of your cunt as she fingers you.
Your hand reaches to caress her face, “I was looking at your fingers in the car. Long, sharp, dexterous, wondering if they would fill me up good, if they would wrap around my neck, and… fuck you feel so good inside of me Agatha.”
With her fingers still inside you she wraps her free hand around your neck, and comes off of the floor to kiss you. Your mouth vibrates against her’s, the pleasure from her fingers making it impossible for you to be quiet.
Agatha pulls away just enough to look into your eyes. She begins to use her thumb to toy with your clit, unwilling to break eye contact.
“Next time, I’ll let you fuck me with a strap. As fast and hard as you want. I’ll shut up and take it for however long you want, in whatever positions you want. How would you fuck me baby?”
You can feel yourself getting impossibly more wet with each one of her words. Her movements slow as you fail to answer.
You begin to squirm, mewling under her will, “Riding me, I-I want to see you bounce on my cock. Your hair to the side trying to steady yourself when I start fucking into you.”
She positions herself so she could grind against your thigh while fingering you.
“How else?”
You gulp involuntary as she moves her hair to one side of her face, “Standing with your face against the wall and my hand around your neck.”
You watch as Agatha fingers you and you feel yourself falling over the edge. She squeezes your throat a little and your eyes drift to her.
“One more baby, I need one more.”
You tense your thigh for her. You make sure your eyes are hard as you look for her, “ I want you on your knees, teary eyed as I fuck your face. I want to hear you gag on it, and fuck if I could I’d shoot my load down your throat. I’d pull you up from the floor and put you in mating press and pound your pussy. I don’t care how sloppy it would get. I want to cum inside you, fill you up. Fuck Agatha, if I could get you pregnant, I’d keep breeding you until we had enough to fill a lecture hall. I’d hold my cum hostage in your cunt, the only way it’d come out is if I decide to eat it out of you.”
You feel her movements stutter on your thigh as an ungodly moan spills from her mouth. The floodgates open and you feel her squirting all over your thigh. The sight of her squirting on you sent you over the edge. You come hard, arching your back off of her bed. Her arms pull your back fully off the bed, so your head is resting against her chest. Your arms are slightly stronger as the hold her up. Her chin rest on the top of your head. Both of you struggle to catch your breath.
“Can I tell you something?” You mumble against her skin.
“Hmm.”
You close your eyes, “I also want to fuck you in the lecture hall; between classes.”
She shivers in your hold, “You aren’t as innocent as you look.”
“You bring it out of me, professor” you lift your head to meet her with a delicate kiss.
“Are you hungry? I was thinking we could shower, heat the food, and maybe watch a movie,” she plays with your hair as she speaks.
You nod, “That sounds perfect."
You wait a few moments, expecting her to get up, “Uh Agatha.”
“I’ll let you know when I think my legs are ok to move,” she answers the question you didn’t even have to ask.
You laugh at her, unable to hold it in. She smacks your shoulder playfully, but it doesn’t stop you.
This wouldn’t be a one-time thing. There was no way that you were willingly to let the sparks between the two of you die here. You had a feeling that Agatha felt the same. There are many more dates to be had, many more nights to spend together, and many more mind-blowing orgasms to give each other.
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mysteryshoptls · 6 months ago
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SSR Divus Crewel - Rich Fur Coat Voice Lines
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When Summoned: You're a bold mutt indeed to call for your owner like this. I'll make sure to discipline you thoroughly.
Summon Line: Stay! We'll start with teaching you how to wait. Don't think you can run around freely while I'm watching over you.
Groooovy!!: There are no shortcuts to becoming a grand mage. Put forth the proper effort, and under my tutelage, you can slowly make your way.
Home: What is it, pup?
Home Idle 1: Bring Grim to me, it's time for some needed discipline. He spilled some highly important potions... Don't you dare think he can get away from me.
Home Idle 2: I must replenish the stock of ingredients used in potionology classes. They may say that failure is a part of learning, but still, when this much material is constantly consumed...
Home Idle 3: I would have never thought I would end up employed at my alma mater. I definitely know it was not in the forefront of my mind when I graduated from Night Raven College.
Home Idle - Login: Alchemy demands skills and knowledge of a higher degree than other courses. If you wish to improve your abilities, you would do well to attend my classes without fail.
Home Idle - Groovy: What are those dark circles under your eyes? Don't tell me you stayed up all night doing your homework...? I knew it. You need to manage your time better, you little mongrel!
Home Tap 1: I am looking forward to this coming weekend much more than I ordinarily do. I should be getting some parts for my classic car that I ordered from overseas.
Home Tap 2: I don't know when Ramshackle was established. It was already in its horrid condition even back when I was a student
Home Tap 3: The fashion world is ever-evolving, and even I am sometimes reminded of my own inadequacies. That is what I love about it.
Home Tap 4: I always see to it that the freshmen in the science club fail their first experiment. Only those who have tasted defeat can truly appreciate the taste of success.
Home Tap 5: This is a custom-made coat made to my particular specifications. When you become an adult, you should also pick up something specially made as well.
Home Tap - Groovy: You've recently been doing much better in your classes. Even without the ability to use magic, you can see that knowledge is power. Good boy, keep it up.
Duo: [CREWEL]: I'll discipline them properly, Headmage. [CROWLEY]: Do be careful not to overdo it, Crewel-sensei!
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nebulaafterdark · 6 months ago
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The Succession (Part 3)
Summary: After the battle of Rook’s Rest, Queen Y/N is forced to rule alongside Prince Regent Aemond, in an attempt to keep her children safe and eventually seat her mother, Rhaenyra, on the throne. While attending her husband, on what appears to be his deathbed, she begins to unravel the dark truth of his near passing.
Aegon Targaryen x Velaryon(Strong)!Reader
Part 1 | Part 2
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Alicent’s idea of a procession to gain support for their wounded King, has quite the opposite effect. The smallfolk swam them, knocking the attending members of the royal family from their carriage and down onto the streets with them.
The Dowager Queen clings to Helaena and her daughter by law. With gold cloaks of the city watch forcing the crowd away from them. Making a path back toward the Keep.
Chérie watches in horror as it unfolds, amongst the sea of people, she spots a familiar face. One of Rhaenyra’s ladies-in-waiting. “Elinda?”
“Chérie?”
“What are you doing here?”
“I’ve come to deliver a message to Princess Y/N, from Queen Rhaenyra.”
“May the gods be with you,” Chérie remarks.
“Where is she?” Elinda asks.
Chérie points toward the center of the mob. Alicent, Helaena and Y/N covered by guards attempting to protect them. “There.”
“Give us the Queen!”
“We want the Queen.”
“Back, all of you!” The guards demand, preparing to draw their swords.
Y/N tries to step forward, give the people what they want.
“Y/N,” Alicent keeps a firm hold on her, shaking her head. “It is not worth the risk.”
“You drug me away from my husband’s sick bed for our people to see me.” Y/N reminds her. “Let them see me.”
Alicent releases her, against her better judgment.
The mass of commoners threaten to engulf the Queen, with the banner of house Targaryen held proudly in their midst. “We want meat.”
“The King makes false promises!”
“You feast in your castle as we starve!”
The shouting builds to a crescendo.
“Do you want my help, or simply to hurl insults at the crown?” Y/N waits until they fall silent before she continues. “Before the King’s coronation, I was told the realm would never accept a ruling Queen. I heard this same sentiment recently, as my lord husband returned from battle, grievously injured. Yet you raise my mother’s banner in my husband’s streets.” Y/N says, loud enough for all to hear. “War is a terrible thing, that costs us all that which we love. It drives a wedge between our houses, makes fools of us all.”
“Stop the war!”
“End the blockade!”
Y/N hesitates, “I have no more agency over that than any of you, I fear. But I believe, as I know my husband does, that our victory relies on the smallfolk. We take to the woods, this day. We will hunt for our meat and we shall feast upon it together.”
The smallfolk murmur to each other.
“Most of you are not trained for the hunt, to which I say, neither am I. But we must stand together, not tear ourselves apart. We are one people, we are one heart.”
Slowly, the townsfolk begin voicing their approval.
“Take to your houses,” Y/N instructs, “gather your weapons and join me at the gates. They will open for us or we will break them down!”
“If you want a word with the Queen, now is your chance.” Chérie whispers.
“And you?”
“I must stand watch over his grace, until her return. After what I have learned this day…he mustn’t be alone.”
The mob cheers as they disband, knocking Chérie and Elinda apart.
Alicent rushes Helaena inside as Y/N heads for the gates.
“She should not be alone.” Helaena says.
“No, she shouldn’t.” Alicent presses cups her daughter’s face in her hands. “Ser Criston.” She calls.
“Your grace,” he stands at the ready.
“You are to accompany the Queen on this venture.” She tells him. “Y/N is not to be out of your sight, no harm must come to her.”
“Of course, your grace.” Cole nods, excusing himself to meet the Queen at the gates. They remain closed as commoners fall in line behind her, pushing at one another as she fights her way to the forefront.
“Where is it you think you’re going?” Aemond asks his niece.
“To give our people meat.” Y/N sneers, spotting her husband’s dagger on his hip. Without hesitation she reaches across, staring him dead in the eye as she yanks the blade free of its sheath. “You are welcome to join us.”
Aemond cocks his head to the side, knowing he has the final say in directing the King’s guard, “open the gates.”
————————————————————————
When Daemon receives Rhaenyra’s letter, detailing her plan to secure Y/N’s safe passage from King’s Landing to Dragonstone, he believes it is a terrible idea.
What they need is for her to hold the throne, the moment she abandons it, any claim Rhaenyra or Aegon holds over it will be lost to the Prince Regent. He knows better than anyone that the realm will suffer if Aemond, one eye, rules.
Instead he plans to enlist help of his own to secure his grandchildren’s safety. With Y/N and Aemond out roaming the woods, taking over half the King’s guard with them, he finds his opportunity.
Whistling through the gates to one of the white cloaks, who harbors a strong dislike of the Hightowers. The man abandons his post, meeting Daemon at the bars.
“How would you like to make a year’s worth of gold in an hour?”
Blood swallows harshly, “what would you have me do?”
“You can start by opening the fucking gate.”
The man does as he’s told.
“Follow me.” Daemon leads him down the alleyway to another man, whom he calls Cheese. “This is an old friend of mine, tonight he’s going to be your friend.” Daemon tosses them each a sack of gold.
“You said a year’s worth.”
“Half now, half when the job is done.”
Blood and Cheese count their bags of coin before nodding their agreement.
“What I need of you is simple. Enter the castle, find my grandson, Aegon.”
“The King?”
“Prince Aegon. He is a babe with dark hair.” With his father incapacitated, they have a good shot at it. “If you cannot retrieve him safely, leave.”
“Is that all?”
“Be sure to scare the seven hells out of the maids while you’re at it. But you are not to cause harm. This is a ploy to increase protection of the Queen’s heirs. Nothing more.”
“What is it they need protecting from?” Cheese wonders.
“Do you want the job or not?” Daemon snaps.
“Y-yes.”
“I will be waiting to collect him at the north gate.” The prince informs them. “You have one hour.”
————————————————————————-
“Disperse and take your share, all of you.” Aemond gives the smallfolk his blessing. They scatter in all directions, desperate and searching.
Y/N sets off with a pack of them into the east woods. Cole follows.
Aemond stays with the masses, showing his good faith. Hoping to win back their support of his claim.
Y/N is the first to spot a deer, running from them, “just there.” She sets off toward is. “Who wants it?”
“I, your grace.” A man with silver, gray hair marches toward it.
“Very well!” Y/N praises, “everyone come round, be sure it does not escape.”
“Together, now.”
They take the first, with some difficulty. Each to follow becomes easier.
Aemond makes his kills alone, happening upon the group eventually. Just in time to see the gleam of the White Hart, watching on from a safe distance. Willing him to slain it, prove himself once and for all, as Y/N toils in servitude of the smallfolk.
“Your grace!” One of the men yell, pointing to the stag. “For you.”
“For us,” Y/N pats his shoulder before hiking up her ruined skirts, “for us.”
“For us!”
Aemond draws his sword, spooking the animal into hiding.
The Queen’s eyes widen.
“May the beast be slain by the true heir, as a sign of good faith.” He says, taking off in search of it.
Y/N runs after him.
“My Queen!”
“Stay with the Queen!”
She chases Aemond deeper into the woods, but the stag cannot be found.
In an instant, Aemond turns on his heels. Leaving the end of his blade pointed at Y/N’s belly.
She flinches as his sword grazes her cheek on it’s upward swing.
Aemond smirks, watching the blood bead on her skin as her eyes well with tears. “Behind you.”
The stag bolts away.
“Aemond!” Ser Criston calls.
The Prince Regent sheathes his sword. “It got away.”
Y/N’s knees buckle, she does not fight as she falls to the ground. It was him. He who would sooner shroud his brother in dragon fire than fight at his side. He who jumped the line of succession to turn the war in his favor.
“Your grace,” Cole moves to her as Aemond retreats. “You’re injured.”
Y/N holds a hand up between them.
“Let me help you stand.”
“Why?” Y/N asks, “each time I stand I am struck down.”
“Because you keep rising.” Cole tells her. “You know, I may not have fathered them, but I raised both Aegon and Aemond as my own. He would not want to see you this way.”
“He may never see me again.”
“I do not believe that is true.” Ser Criston sighs, “so long as you live, he will find a way. My responsibility to Aegon now lies in ensuring he has something to wake up to.” He says, pointedly. “You have not made it an easy task.”
“I overheard you call my mother a spoiled cunt once.” Y/N scrubs a hand over her face, “be forewarned, I am worse.”
Despite himself, Cole smiles. Something just beyond her catching his eye. “My Queen.”
She follows the direction of his finger.
“This will be the sign we all desperately need, they would fall in line behind you. There will be no further question.”
The White Hart stares back at her, unblinking. “Have you come to die for me too?” She pushes up to her feet, flashing the blade before the animal’s eyes in warning. But the stag comes closer, she strokes its bowed head, plunging the dagger clean into its heart, allowing the stag to collapse onto her. Rocking the creature as best she can. “Thank you for all you have done for me. Your sacrifice is not in vain.”
Cole carries the slain stag behind Y/N, trudging through the forest, covered in its blood. The smallfolk know what this means. There is no need for a Prince Regent, they have a Queen.
Aemond nods. She’s won the battle, but he’ll win the war.
————————————————————————-
With the smallfolk contented, Y/N retires to her rooms, allowing the bath water to soothe her muscles and her mind. Chérie is still about, therefore the Queen allows another of her ladies to scrub the dirt and blood from her skin.
“It is done, my Queen.” Livia nods, “should you like a towel, or to soak a while longer?”
“The water is filthy,” Y/N murmurs.
“We might draw you a new bath, your grace.”
“No,” Y/N shakes her head. “Just the towel please.”
“At once, your grace.” She reaches for the plush cream fabric, holding it open for her majesty.
Y/N wraps herself in it, as her hair is rung out over the tub.
“Are you thinking of braids, your grace?”
No. Not in the least. “You may leave it hang.”
“Are you certain?” Livia blinks at her.
“Yes, help me dress in my nightgown, please. I am quite exhausted.”
Livia nods, scurrying to the dressing area and returning with a pale purple gown. “Is this to your liking, my Queen?”
Y/N smiles, “it is lovely. Thank you.”
The woman returns the gesture.
“You needn’t always address me so formally when we are alone. I wish for us to be friends.”
“A Queen is not expected to be friends with her servants.” Livia says, “my mother has served the dowager Queen Alicent for many years.”
“My mother was always kind to her ladies.” Y/N tells her. “That is the Queen I hope to be.”
Livia nods, easing the material over the Queen’s head, followed quickly by her robe. “I should like that very much.”
“I understand how difficult it can be, taking on a new role without knowing what’s expected of you. If you’ve questions, please voice them to me, I am more than happy to answer.”
“I have heard whispers from other ladies…that Chérie joins you and the King in your bed.” Livia stammers, “you are both very lovely, your grace, but I would not know how-”
“Oh no,” Y/N huffs a laugh. “Livia, that will never be asked of you. Chérie is very dear to the King and I, but that is not a task expected of my ladies.”
“Forgive me for assuming.”
“It’s quite alright, I am glad to clear the air between us. I would hate for you to be nervous in my presence over a misunderstanding.”
Livia exhales, “thank you for being so kind.”
Y/N takes her hand, “of course.”
“Y/N,” Chérie pants, having rushed past the guards. “It’s Aegon.”
Y/N moves, as if in slow motion, taking the bloodied dagger from the floor. Down the hall, to her husband’s rooms, shoving open the door.
“You’re hurt.” He says, taking in the sight of her, freshly dressed, hair still dripping from the bath.
She gawks at him. Willing her legs to move and dropping to her knees at the side of his bed, casting the weapon aside. Y/N rests her cheek against the coverlet, not daring to touch him.
Carefully he reaches for her, feeling the charred skin of his chest pull as his hand passes over her hair.
“I thought you were dead,” Y/N whispers. “Chérie rushed me out of my rooms to you. I thought you were dead.” She sobs, violently enough that any shred of anger Aegon harbors for the disregard of her own safety is forgotten.
“I’m going to look in on the children.” Chérie excuses herself.
Aegon whispers, as the doors close, “come round this side.”
“I can’t.” Y/N struggles to draw breath, shuttering as she does.
“I wish to hold you.”
“I will hurt you.”
“Hearing you sob on the floor, while I am no more than a foot away, is worse than any pain I am in. Let me comfort you.” Aegon insists, “please.”
Y/N stands, climbing carefully onto the bed, lying her head on the pillow beside his.
Aegon’s neck aches as he turns his head to face her, left eye swollen shut.
“I do not see where it is safe to touch you,” Y/N admits. The unmarred half of his face now rests against the pillow.
“Rest your head upon my shoulder.” Aegon sighs, “but let me look at you first.” He’s just taken milk of the poppy, enough to dull the sharp edge of pain.
“I am a mess.” Y/N lets out a watery laugh, dragging the back of her hand over her face, mindful of her graze.
“You are beautiful,” Aegon half smiles. “Tell me what’s happened.”
Y/N sucks in a breath, “the small council appointed Aemond as Prince Regent. The smallfolk were discontented in their hunger, I took them to hunt. I happened across a white stag and followed it into the woods. Aemond as well. He drew his sword once we were far enough out though Cole found us before anything happened. I think he meant to kill me.”
Aegon swallows, “you must stay away from Aemond, do you understand?”
Y/N nods.
“When I am well enough-”
“Has he done this to you?” Y/N needs to hear it plainly.
“Sunfyre and Meyles were locked together. There is no way of knowing what his intentions were, but it was Aemond who gave the command.” Dracarys.
“I’ll kill him.”
“You cannot.”
Y/N begins to protest.
“Listen to me now.” Aegon presses on, “I want you out of King’s Landing. I want our children out.”
“No, I will not leave you.”
“Go to your mother on Dragonstone.”
“No.”
“Shh,” Aegon gentles her. “I need you to hear what I am saying to you. This is the only way she can take back the throne. She wants Aemond’s head more than any. It will ensure your safety and the kill. I hate being parted as much as you do, but I cannot protect you here.”
“Who will protect you if I go?”
“My mother.”
“She would stand against Aemond, if it comes to it?” Y/N challenges.
“I do not want you here if it comes to that.”
“Why?”
“I will not have you stand between me and a blade. I will not allow you to be harmed or mistreated. I will protect you and our children at any cost.” Aegon says.
“The White Hart appeared for me,” Y/N is sure of it. “It fled from Aemond, returned for me and I killed it. For you, for our house and our people. I am not weak.”
“My concern is not because you are weak.” Aegon tells her, “at present, you are the largest threat to Aemond. He could end me now with a pillow held over my face.”
Y/N’s eyes widen.
“I jest, I jest.”
“I will do it myself if you dare say that again.”
He chuckles, “ah!” The movement is horribly painful. “Don’t make me laugh.”
“I promised the girls they could come visit you.” Y/N tells him, lowering her head to his shoulder.
“Are you certain that’s a good idea?” Aegon nuzzles against the top of her head. “They should not have to see me this way.”
Y/N sighs, “you are their father. They love you no matter what.”
“And you?” Aegon whispers, “you would have me still? They say I may never walk again.”
Y/N pulls away to stare at him with furrowed brows. “Aegon, of course I will have you. I love you.”
“I know that you love me.” Same as he would love her with roles reversed, “but will you…desire me? As your husband?”
Y/N presses her lips to his, oh so gently. “Of course. When you have recovered, we shall make up for lost time.”
Again he nods, not entirely convinced. “I should like that very much.”
“I speak true, husband.” Y/N insists. “Surely my body is different now than it was before our babes and you desire me still, do you not?”
“I desire you more.”
“We’re going to grow old together, you and I. In which time we will both surely change, that is the way of things.”
“Your grace!” Chérie calls, rapping her fist against the door.
“Come,” Y/N wills her.
The woman charges in, clearly distraught. “My Queen,” she says, without realizing Aegon is still lucid. The maesters warned his moments of waking will be few and far between. “Something awful has happened.”
“What is it?” Y/N springs from the bed.
“Prince Aegon…he’s been taken.”
“Taken where?” Y/N demands.
“I cannot say, the maids reported two men in hoods. They came with knives, threatened them and took the babe.”
“Bring us Dahlia, Visera and Laenor.” Aegon insists. “Send in the guards, they are to tear apart the Red Keep until my son is found.”
“Of course, my King.” Chérie bows.
Y/N steals the abandoned dagger, making for the door.
“Where are you going?” Aegon calls after her.
“To kill your brother.”
Part 4
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