#they are all varying levels of she/they to me
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@duskdog
Hiiii! Been meaning to respond to this because you raised some really interesting ideas, sorry that itās taken me a hot sec.
The crazy part is (like a lot of things about Steph) we get conflicting information about how Bruce sees Steph in relation to her father.
Steph consistently worries Batman is judging her by her fathers actions when sheās sanctioned at Spoiler. She identifies it as a potential reason the rest of the team doesnāt trust her.
This tracks with how Steph is shown to have a pattern of feeling responsible for the Cluemasters actions (which as Iāve mentioned before I see as an extension of her helplessness to protect herself and her mother from him during her childhood).
She identifies on multiple occasions that her choice to be the Spoiler is rooted in the misgivings of her father. Clear, easy example of this mindset is when she states because her dad is an asshole, she āhas a lot to make up forā (Robin 80 Page Giant). She finds herself responsible in some part for his actions.
So it makes a lot of sense that Stephanie keeps asssuming other people are holding her to this same standard, judging her based off of her fathers criminal ways.
However, this assumption is not really substantiated.
I canāt think of a time Batman says or thinks anything which implies he gives a fuck who her dad is, besides when they first meet assuming sheās working with the Cluemaster instead of against him. (Iām not perfect however and I Might have missed one)
That is, untilā¦ Bruce Wayne: The Road Home Batgirl (šI love talking about BWTRHB!!!!! The worlds shittiest acronym!!!š)
After his little assessment and convo with Steph, Bruce tells Alfred that Stephanie and Wendy āneed watchingā, as their dads were both ācriminalsā.
This train of thought comes out of nowhere. As already stated, thereās very little evidence that Batman cared much that her dad was a criminal before this point.
Additionally, half his goddamn team has criminal fathers/mothers, ranging from mob bosses to goons to cult assassins to international terrorists. What is he even saying.
This is a total inconsistency. But I can see your view kinda accounts for that hypocrisy. If Bruce sees Cluemaster as a ālesserā threat and holds him in less esteem than the more formidable villain parents, it might explain why he seems to put this bonus emphasis on Stephs parentage. (Maybe he sees Stephs fathers criminal ways as more āmundaneā and therefore easier for her to slip into?)
I donāt think Iām totally sold on that idea, but itās definitely interesting.
His statement feels just so out of nowhere (and again applies to half the people he works with) that I find it hard to believe this is a consistent concern of his.
Batmanās opinion on low level thugs varies (obviously by era and writer), but the versions of him I find most compelling are when he is shown to be sympathetic and willing to help people in shitty situations get out of them (even if they were doing crime beforehand). However itās entirely possible (and probably equally substantiable) that he has unconscious and class based biases which might affect how he acts and treats certain characters.
Iām not nearly as intensely familiar with Jasonās character as I am Stephanie, so Iām low grade blanking on any good examples of how Bruce interacted w Jasonās background (besides his generally all consuming belief that Jason was on track to worse and worse crime and eventual death before Batman took him in).
Sorry this is pretty rambly, but I thought you brought up a Rly interesting point and i had some thoughts I wanted to add on
How Batman uses the idea of those "born for" vigilantism to justify working with Teen Vigilantes before and after the death of Jason Todd, and what it has to do with Stephanie Brown.
(DISCLAIMER: I'm not trying to condemn the concept of child/teen vigilantes in superhero comics, its a staple of the genre and dumb to condemn it like you would in the real world. I'm analyzing the times in which Bruce Wayne the character has questioned the concept himself, and the rationalizations he comes to about it)
By examining Bruce Waynes mindset immediately before, during, and after Jason Todd's deadly time as Robin, we can see how Batman rationalizes and justifies teenaged vigilantism.
When Dick Grayson as Robin is shot by the Joker, Batman essentially fires him from being Robin. Bruce entirely dismisses the concept of working with a "child" to fight crime. Batman seems to believe working with Dick as Robin is simply too dangerous.
Batman #408 (1940)
His Mindset at this point: Teenaged Vigilantism = Dangerous and Bad
But this, obviously, doesn't stick. It barely takes any time at all after this forBruce Wayne to take in Jason Todd and subsequently make him the second Robin.
Crime fighting with a 19 year old is too dangerous, but crime fighting with the 12 year old? Yeah, sure, why not!
There is an obvious contradiction, and a clear change in mindset.
In order to rationalize his choice to take in Jason Todd as Robin after firing Dick, Bruce Wayne must internally reendorse the concept of Teenaged Vigilantism. And he does so in a specific way:
Batman #410 (1940)
Mindset: If Jason Todd was not Robin, he would become a criminal and die
The dying part is specific as well. When confronted at first by Alfred, its more of an afterthought, something which would occur down the criminal "road" Jason was bound to end up on. But when he is later confronted by Dick, the idea that being Robin "saved" Jasons life takes center stage.
Batman #416 (1940)
It's no longer some distant crime related death Jason was on course for, it was an imminent death which Bruce was able to save him from.
Mindset: If Jason Todd was not Robin, his "self destructive energies" and lack of "self esteem" would have killed him.
This phrasing is SUPER interesting to me, because its not true in a very specific way.
1. Jason Todd wasn't really shown to have "Self destructive energies" before he became Robin. He was stealing to make a living, to stay alive. He never showcases a desire for "self destruction", unless you count his hitting Batman with a tire iron, and his interference in Ma Gunnās heist. Which I don't.
2. It seems to imply Jason Todd might have died because of specifically "self destructive tendancies", which seems ascribes a small amount of passive potential suicidal ideation, which is also vastly unsubstantiated by anything we see from Jason before he becomes Robin. But you know who is a character who is deeply rooted in concepts of suicidal ideation? Batman. (I'm not going prove this point here, but this concept gets more firmly rooted in the upcoming years after this comic, Knightfall being a great example) Being Batman, Knightfall will establish, is pretty much all that keeps Bruce Wayne living. You could say that being Batman saved his life.
3. Bruce admits he took Jason on because he was lonely in this very same confrontation when Dick pushes him on this idea. This makes it abundantly clear why he needs this rationalization in the first place, his real reason for making Jason Robin appears to be somewhat selfish.
But what does this all mean? For one, it proves that Batman's primary explanation for why he took on Jason Todd is lowgrade BS. It also shows how Batman's rationalization has begun to veer into projection. He states that Jason was saved from his self destructiveness by becoming Robin, something that is certainly true for himself, but not really Jason.
We see this projection fully take root when Leslie Thompkins confronts Bruce. Not only is Jason Todd saved by becoming Robin, now he wasn't even chosen by Batman. It was, much like Bruce Wayne becoming Batman, inevitable. Something he was "born" to do.
Detective #574
Mindset: I didn't chose Jason, he was chosen, he is just like me, we were born for this
This is essential. This mindset will show up again and again as a core part of Bruce's ability to rationalize working with child vigilantes once Jason has died.
Lets look at how his mindset has been evolving from before he meets Jason to his time as Robin progressing. Batman has gone from:
Teenage/Child vigilante Bad --> Child Vigilante Good because Jason would have become a crimial --> Child Vigilante Good because Jason would have died, I saved his life --> Child Vigilante is Good because I saved his life and Jason was meant to be Robin just like I was meant to be Batman, this is what we were was born to do
This is insane rationalization. But it works. For a while.
Then, Jason begins acting out, and putting himself in danger. Whoops. uh oh! How can Jason be saved by becoming Robin, if he is endangered by it? The balm for Bruce's semi-suicidal ideation was crime fighting, so if Jason is self destructive as Robin, does that mean Jason isn't like Bruce after all? Does that mean he wasn't born to be Robin? Was Bruce right in the begining? Is Teen Vigilantism Bad? Well, lucklily, the rationalization Bruce has built doesnt need to change too much in order to accommodate these new facts.
Batman #426 (1940)
See, this issue has not reverted back to being child vigilantism, it's the fact that Jason isn't ready yet.
Batman #426 (1940) / Batman #427
Batman latches onto this idea, he identifies it as "the problem". Is he wrong? No, not really. It does seem like Jason needs come to terms with his parents deaths. But this is important because it is still a rationalization for mindset he started with, still part of the reason he can be in favor of Teenage Vigilantism.
Then Jason Todd dies, as Robin. That truly breaks the underlying concept for this rationalization, that being Robin saved Jason Todd. The entire justification has fully shattered, and Bruce Wayne has lost a son. And, so because of this, in the wake of Jason Todds death, we see a full 180 revert back to the idea Bruce held onto at the end of Dick Graysons time as Robin: Teenage Vigilante = Bad.
Batman #428/ The New Teen Titans #55 (1984) / Batman #439
He has fully rejected the very concept of working with anyone, including the now adult Nightwing. He is literally right back where we started, with even deeper convictions against working with someone else (especially a kid) ever again.
But we all know this doesn't stick. He takes on 13 year old Tim Drake as Robin not long at all afterwards. As the 90's progress Bruces goes on to work with a huge variety of other vigilantes and partners, both teenaged and adult.
So how does he possibly justify this?
I believe he retrofits his rationalization for taking on Jason as Robin.
He adheres to a primary idea. The idea that some people are, like him, simply built for Vigilantism. That they, much like he once believed Jason was, "born" for it.
Mindset: Child Vigilantle is not always Good, but it can be Good. When its the right kind of teenager. Some Teenaged Vigilantes are meant to be Vigilantes just like I was meant to be Batman.
In this way, Jason Todds tragic murder is not a failure of concept, it a category error. Batmans mistake was not working with a teenager, his mistake was working with the wrong kind of teenager. Jason Todd was not built for vigilantism. But others are. This means he's still totally in the clear to work with teenagers, Tim Drake as Robin, then Cassandra Cain as Batgirl, and then eventually Stephanie Brown as Spoiler. So long as Bruce is able to believe they are "born" for it, that they are like Batman himself, meant to do this, and incapable of living a normal life, there is no contradiction, his rationalization holds.
But whereās the proof?
This mindset can be clearly seen and prominently seen when Stephanie Brown is fired as Spoiler.
When Steph is fired as Spoiler because she has moved in Bruce's mind from the "acceptable Teen Vigilante" category into the "unacceptable Teen Vigilante category". And the reasons he gives for this decision are exactly in line with the rationalization I've lain out. She is consistently contrasted to other teen vigilante characters who are fit for duty because he does not see her as "like him/them".
Detective #790
Notice how he jumps right from "Jason and Stephanie were/are not fit to fight crime" to "they could/can have a normal life" right to "unlike me and you, Cassandra Cain, who are stuck fighting crime forever". Much like how he originally justified his decision to work with Jason Todd as Robin through the idea that Jason and Bruce were both destined for this life, he applies the exact same idea, but this time, about himself and Cassandra Cain as Batgirl. And in contrast to them, and in directly comparison to Jason Todd, Stephanie is not meant for crime fighting.
Batgirl #38 (2000)
And Stephanie Brown is contrasted with Cass again, when Bruce first explains why he fired Steph to Cass. This is a consistent pattern. She is not like Cass. This is why she shouldnāt be a vigilante.
When he explains that he is going to fire Steph as Spoiler to Tim, he says something very interesting which invokes the same idea. In the list of three reasons he throw out that Steph shouldn't be Spoiler, he mentions that she is going to "throw her life away". When taken in combination with the other panels discussed, its clear to me that he means this is the common way the saying is used. That she is wasting her life by being a vigilante, that she should, as he mentions earlier, be living a normal life. But why is he saying this to Tim? If one of the reasons Steph shouldn't be Spoiler is her ability to lead a normal life, why the fuck is Tim exempt? I think it comes from a genuine belief that Tim is "like him". Unable to live a normal, non-vigilante life, "born" for crime fighting. Much like Cass, who we already saw him directly compare himself to in this exact same way. Thats why he can directly reference to Tim Steph's ability to have a normal life as a reason she shouldn't be a vigilante, he doesn't believe Tim fits the same category at all!
Robin #106 (1993)
So why the fuck does Stephanie move categories? She was acceptable earlier? What changed?
I've already done an in-depth explanation for what the subconscious underlying reason Bruce fires Stephanie: she simply is no longer useful to as a balm for his loneliness. I highly recommend checking out the post here if you are interested in the breakdown of why and how.
But in addition to that, itās clear to me that it also has a weird amount to do with Jason Todd.
Stephanie simply and clearly reminds Bruce of Jason Todd. He points out their similarities in personality, and itās worth mentioning the similarities in their circumstances as well (mothers who struggle(d) with drug addiction, and fathers who were criminals).
As we saw in Detective #790, their personality similarities led to Batman associating Steph with Jason. This makes sense, this association would only grow as he got to know her over the time she is sanctioned as Spoiler.
I believe this association leads to him eventually placing her in the same category as Jason, as not "born" for vigilantism at all, and as capable of having a normal life.
But it also serves as a clear way to rectify his mistakes with Jason. Itās his way of āmaking up forā his role in Jason's death. Itās his second chance. Never mind that this second chance leads to his assessment of Stephanie having very little to do with Steph herself, and a whole fucking lot to do about Bruceās guilt over Jasonās death.
This is especially brutal because it seems to come from a place of genuine care (and a selfish desire to assuage his guilt too), but Stephanie doesn't get the tender moment of explanation and grief and regret that Cassandra hears. She doesn't get to know this.
What she gets, is to be told point blank that she is fired because she just isn't good enough. She gets to hear that she lacks the "skills and talent" from the same man who originally came to her to train her because he finally saw and recognized her potential. She gets told she will never be good enough by the guy who told her that she could learn and improve under his instruction. She gets two sentences. She has to fight for any more.
I cannot emphasize enough the fact that she had to track Bruce down to get an explanation for why he was suddenly ghosting her. He didn't even have the decency to tell her himself. Stephanie had to track Bruce down just so she could find out that he gave up on her.
Stephanie gets a blunt lie about why she is fired. And Bruce Wayne gets to feel good about "correcting" a mistake that had nothing to do with Stephanie. Stephanie gets cut off from her friends. Bruce Wayne gets to reconcile with his team. Stephanie gets to feel worthless. Bruce Wayne gets to feel justified.
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The Miss Fortune Sisters picked some super enby names for themselves and tbh I love that
#icys trashtalk#pla#pokemon legends arceus#miss fortune sisters#coin pla#clover pla#charm pla#they are all varying levels of she/they to me#coin perhaps leaning furthest into an entirely they/them identity#never thought id have headcanons about side npcs i never really cared much for but hey#thinking at 3am gives you Thoughts shockingly enough#(yes hello i am still alive. suffering- less so than prior- but alive. making some real lateral moves here)
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almost forgot to post this angel here ā¤ļø
#digital art#illustration#ocs#vampire oc#sev ocs#mmmyea this was basically like a vision board for me#i reeeaaaally want he dress on the left and the choker in the right so.#hoping e drawing them means i will manifest them coming into my life this year š¤š½#anyways this is beccaaaa#she loves (to eat) men#she also loves to kiss women and genderweird ppl#she will also sip from them too if theyāre cool with that#she has about four diff partners and theyāre all varying levels of morally bankrupt but she loves them!#my art
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ā And do you or do you not have difficulty remembering such simple instructions? ā Only during thunderstorms, sir.
THE SOUND OF MUSIC (1965) / DARK SHADOWS (1966)
#don't mind me just absolutely insane about the possibility (probability!) that vicki saw tsom the year before coming to collinwood.#the boom mic in the stairs shot is always cracking me up.#finally me and you and you and me just us and your friend steve (the boom mic operator)#ā¤ roger collins & victoria winters. ā pain sometimes precedes pleasureļ¼miss winters.#gifs.#ā¤ edits & art. ā the evans cottage art gallery.#ā¤ roger collins. ā I and my ghosts want a drink.#ā¤ victoria winters. ā because sheās lost and lonely. because she looks in shadows.#there's obviously far; far less of a christian overtone in ds ā but i wonder if you couldn't make the argument that it isn't also#on some level about belief?#belief; namely; in the ghosts that roger resists and vicki with both arms embraces;#faith in the not-so-minor deity liz stoddard; choosing to follow her doctrine even in the face of conflicting truth.#one might consider collinsport a faithful congregation taking sermons from the mount ā from the mouth of the reclusive ascetic;#conveyed by loyal (devastatingly; sacrificially loyal) disciples.#and vicki; searching for belonging; for a home; for a family; falls very lamb-like into the flock.#all old gods of course demand their sacrifices in blood: burke; namely; but also matthew; bill; roger (so-attempted)#if i were pushing it (which I always am) you could go so far as to say collinwood's son rises from the tomb.#''but the day of the Lord will come as a thief in the night'' etc etc. demanding; first; sacrificial livestock; then virgin blood.#anyway! I digress.#''they say confession is good for the soul. well; my soul needs purifying.''#vicki as the prototypical virgin ā the clean slate without history; clear water with neither dirt nor blood ā#in which roger cleanses himself (somewhat forcefully!); to wash away guilt and suspicion;#the force of virtue that prevents the intrusion of sin; either through the wood of the confessional or very literally at her bedroom door.#''an innate sense of goodness'' etc; besides being something of a conduit between this world and the next:#re. the seances; the appearances of josette and bill; the various and varied encounters with supernatural; the time travel;#as one might expect of an angel ... or a saint. and one could argue that she goes on to restore roger's faith ā#if not in the goodness of the world at large; then the existence of goodness; or in the worth of belief itself.#anyway. long way of saying i love man x his governess whether it's catholic or satanic. sign me up.
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(i DONT hear the sirens call of it im just thinkin about pronouns now. this post is not a call to action or a request for encouragement) i want to change my pronouns bc im starting to get confusion jumpscared every time ppl (correctly) use he for me again but as always for the last decade i dont have a better alternative in mind kjsdf ah well least of worst worlds
#its like. icons to me. again my mind only goes forward not backwards. i didnt stick with ey/em long enough to get all the#fun juice out of that one but i have no desire to go back to ey/em#and nothing else is Good just varying levels of Not Bad. and also who cares bc i never hear my own pronouns its Not Important (to me)#actually ideal world where i wasnt using all my Get Scared energy on existing i would come out irl and make everyone call me he#so i could get u guys to call me she. thatd be fun
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I lied I think itās fun to draw animals sometimes
#sonic the hedgehog#miles tails prower#knuckles the echidna#amy rose#team sonic#hey. still dont expect more sonic stuff okay. this is an exception#(I say as I immensely enjoy scribbling these animals)#man. Im mad how good these designs are tbh theyre so (clenches fists) theyre so! scribbleable!#hate that! dont like that dont like how much fun it is to draw them!#also I made amy spiky bc I want to and I can. and also shes a hedgehog#gods. thinking abt it sonic designs cater to me to such a disgusting level... the cartoon gloves... the big shapes.... the varied footwears#it's like psychonauts raz was so fuckign fun to draw. but here it's the whole cast#it's fucked up! it's entrapment!! I didn't consent to this!!!#next time they give any of the characters a big coat I'm sending sega a strongly worded letter. they cant do that to me#well. here it is anyway. genuinely these all took like an hour each I drew them as breaks inbetween work#(an hour for me is equivalent to other artists' fifteen minutes btw. I'm not fast at all I just don't know when to stop)#well. that done. back to work now#I am actually so excited abt the current one lol its just also gonna be a pain in the ass to coordinate#but I really wanna do well with it. go crazy go stupid baku!!#have a good night! a good pair of boots is worth the money but only if you can tie the strings together & wear it on ur neck in emergencies
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unpopular opinion?? maybe?
Matt & Ivy have a really interesting dynamic!! both pre- and post-canon!! with or without romantic undertones!! either reciprocal or one-sided!!
and obviously it has to be handled with a particular level of care/respect BUT I think if we allowed them enough grace there is space to explore a really interesting possibility for that relationship.
#obviously Matt is not ENTITLED to Ivy - im absolutely not saying that at all#and he definitely did a lot of things extremely wrong and Ivy doesnāt HAVE to forgive him - she doesn't even have to *like* him#and in many stagings she actually doesnāt at all! even pre-canon she isn't into him on a *platonic* level - which i love for her#but I also think that - misguided & clumsy about it though he was - Matt is genuinely trying his best to see her as a person.#an idealized version of a person yes. but a person nonetheless.#which is what Ivy wants from Jason (and tbf he sees her as a person also but itās an obviously different situation)#and while you can't force romantic compatibility (that was like. the whole point.) in some versions of the show they're not-quite-dating#- in varying types of āsituationshipā with varying levels of commitment. so it's not insane to me to say hey#maybe they need time to stabilize themselves and figure out who they are again after the events of the show. but maybe a couple years -#- down the line they reconnect and they're both in a better place & maybe this time it can all work out.#idk I think I just see a lot of people write it off entirely - and theyāre well within their rights to do so donāt get me wrong#but I donāt think itās fair necessarily to put them in the ādoomed to failā category#wow okay I care about them as a pair more than I realised#tldr; give Matt & Ivy and their relationship dynamic the grace + complexity they deserve#mouse talks bapo#bare a pop opera#Ivy Robinson#Matt Lloyd#[as a side note - sometimes I think about queer Matt & transmasc Ivy & the interesting concept of their potential boyfriendism]
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I was telling my sister that I felt like I was supposed to kin cr!regulus black but I still felt like we had too many differences and then she remined me of the time when I was like nine I threatened to throw a dictionary at someone if they did not shut up, they did not shut up, I threw a dictionary at them.
#LMAO i also asked her if she also feels like stabbing smth repeatedly would feel nice#she said no#i swear shes the weird one tho i just KNOW that all my anger would fade if i got to do some stabbing#i also think that if i was allowed to punch each person that has ever like properly pissed me off all my problems with them would just poof#not even punch just like varying levels of violence#like a good shove#or maybe a nice slap#the more i write the more i realise why i kin regulus#im also in love with james potter#regulus in crimson rivers#regulus black#cr!regulus black#crimson rivers#zeppazariel#fic: crimson rivers#james potter#jegulus
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One of my favorite things about my senior cat is that she skitters into the bathroom behind me as if I wouldn't let her come with to begin with. As if she's not my bathroom buddy little princess
#shes so old I'm scared ā¤ļøāš©¹#ive had many pets but due to varying circumstances ive never had one throughout their entire life span#my mom kept giving our pets away#whenever we had to move etc#and my old girl is actually my husbands cat i got custody of her when we moved in together lmao#she loves me more by a lot#so ive been with her since she was like 12/13 years old#its been like 7 years#my husband is slightly appalled at how long shes lived#honestly shes not showing her age which is what makes it scary#i have no idea if i should be doing more for her#she's losing a little weight but she still eats with the appropriate level of enthusiasm#and she has random bouts of incontinence but its not enough to be super worrying#and she plays!!#like full on leaping for her string toys all four paws off the ground and still loves to chase the red dot#but shes inching on her 20s and i dont want her to live so long that shes in pain š„ŗš„ŗ thats my biggest fear
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I'm really trying to understand. I know Joshua does take good pics but some of his pics are awful and they still get so much praise. I'm seeing comments "I know the pic is blurry but it fits Louis' tour aesthetics". Seriously? Is that the excuse now? "This pic looks like shit but it fits Louis' tour aesthetics". Since that pic Harry posted on IG that was super super blurry, which I think he was trying to make a point with. That fans don't control him. I thought Lloyd's pics have got better since. They show more of the audience. I really like his recent pics that show Harry and the audience. They give a vintage postcard kind of feel. Old school. But he's still being trashed as ever. Sometimes I'll see a pic and think... that's not that bad so surely they won't be trashing that. But they will be, always are. He can't do any right. But Joshua can't do any wrong. I think it could be partly because Joshua talks to the fans on twitter. So they feel 'closer' to him. They're still incredibly bitter about the iHeart? tour photography award going to Lloyd, while also saying that it means nothing. If it means nothing then why still so bitter? Why the desperate push to vote for Joshua? They say that Lloyd only won the award because of Harries. Well yes. If Joshua won the award it would be because of Louies and Larries. That's how fan voted awards go. If anyone does like Lloyd's pics they get insulted for having bad taste. They really despise Lloyd and they just don't stop complaining about him. Why is it always like this? That everyone Harry works with is hated by the fandom and everyone Louis works with is loved?
I'm sitting here, nodding my head as I read this like a goddamned kitsch toy dog on the dashboard of someone's bitchin' Camaro because yeah, YEAH. I have some thoughts about it that I'm sure I'm not all that articulate about, so I'll take it to the tags and let your ask just shine up here, uninterrupted yet fully appreciated
#a lot of my thoughts go on pure vibes and gut instinct vs. proof#so take it with a grain of salt#but there's SUCH a weirdness in the fandom reaction to harry's photographers vs. louis's when louis's admit they love and emulate harry's!#and i don't know if it's larries exclusively or if it's beyond that#with helene it was fucked up STRAIGHT UP misogyny from the larrie camp#super telling on so many levels and even more so because her pictures absolutely mirror his (see: his super artsy ig posts)#and the stuff she does professionally is so varied that it's even MORE telling when said people tried to say she was a shitty photographer#she's not--not even a little--and she outright said he picked the shots that she took that he loved the most and chose them to post#and that's true for both anthony and lloyd by the way: harry is looking for a certain aesthetic and they are providing it#and he is both paying them and selecting the pictures he likes best to share#if he thought they were awful--he'd fire 'em (just like he has with actual people in his band lol i kid)#i've long wondered if he is just so sick of the slick perfect idealized shots of himself that fans create and manipulate#shots that echo the manmade boybandness of it all#and he has his own eye for what he finds beautiful or interesting and it just merges in what he wants to represent himself#it's so FASCINATING it's multilayered and yet you STILL have these dumdums out there bitching about how much they hate lloyd#as if it's HIS fault his boss is pushing for a specific type of aesthetic--if you hate it take it up with his boss#and if you 'don't understand it' take it up with his boss#the fandom urge for this squeaky clean perfect image that absolutely matches simon cowell's for the same is mighty funny in a real venn way#me? i cannot fathom why you wouldn't want to see what a celeb is actually choosing to use to represent themselves#ESPECIALLY when it's not pretty-pret#and then to turn around and blow some smoke up the ass of someone who is doing the thing you HATE SO MUCH with your other fave#yet you have special stupid baby tags for it when it's someone else?#i don't think it's any subconcious hatred of louis or anything when it's from the biggies repping larr nation#but it's mighty curious when you have at least two photographers from louis's camp#doing the EXACT same thing as harry's photographers#and at least one of them citing at least one of his as an icon to emulate#yet....silence#and even worse this weirdo urge to push some kind of larrie interaction on joshua and lloyd#the fan-voted thing was extra funny to me on so many levels my god#i'll shut up now i've officially entered old man yells at cloud territory
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speaking of neurodivergence my mother discovered that word (and neurotypical) just this past week and then said to me (about my entire family) "glad we're all neurotypical haha š!" ummmmm mother perhaps rethink that statement........ šš
#genuinely cant think of one person in my family who isnt neurodivergent like seriously its EVERYONE#im autistic my grandmother is autistic all my cousins and my sister have adhd both aunts have bpd my mother herself likely has npd#but thats unconfirmed#ALL of us have varying levels of anxiety like girl show me the neurotypicals where they at !!#cant even tell her to do research cause 1. she wont do it and 2. if she DID then she'd try to 'cure' us with herbal supplements or something#and if she says something like that to me i might lose my fucking mind LMAO#j.txt
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oh toilet cry, i have not missed you
#trying to ring parents about their kids not progressing on reports#ahead of reports coming out next week#and i rang this one kids mum about him not progressing in two areas#and she just. was not happy with me.#she was all āi should have found out about this earlier so i could have done this and that with himā#and like. sheās not wrong? but also itās been a crazy year for the class and im a first year baby whoās come in halfway through#and no! i didnāt even know he wasnāt going to progress until this point!#i should have known but i didnāt bc iām a baby trying her best#the kid works well in class but when it came to assessment he couldnāt demonstrate enough to reach the six months of growth to progress him#and she just. made me feel guilty.#but idk. she also said he was top of the class at his last school and for motivation and kindness? yeah. not for maths.#heās not even at a year 5 level soā¦. idk. countries vary but by That much?#i just feel shit about it now ugh#my post tag
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Wednesday Words
Good Things Can Come From Mistakes #1
Cell division is a glorious, microscopic ballet.
A dancerās silhouette is revealed from an artful smoke machine; so too does our genetic material coalesce from the organised chaos of the nucleus into chromosomes.
Diligently, they twin themselves, then separate, pulled to opposite ends of the stage; and then the stage itself splits in two, and you donāt see that shit in Swan Lake.
But the most miraculous part of all this is how much it gets fucked up and you still end up with a human being at the end of it.
Only now youāve got red hair. Youāre welcome.
Good Things Can Come From Mistakes #2
A weed is any plant that grows where you donāt want it to grow. Itās a context-specific term. A mistake is to do something when you intended something else.
An error is a computer telling you to go fuck yourself, because youāre speaking gibberish (as far as the computer is concerned).
What do you get when you combine these things?
Well, I got a sarcastic cyborg plant person, and after 50 magical years of marriage, I donāt regret a single thing.
I have a Wednesday night writing group. We do prompts, and drabbles, and it's a good time. Everyone comes out with something so different! They're short snippets - the drabbles are only supposed to be 100 words (eventually I got there!), a warm-up for the later prompt. I've decided to post my favourites, because why not? This one was more recent, and I got two in the time limit that I liked.
#every living organism is a filthy mutant and we really don't say that often enough#mutation is the raw material of evolution#most mutations either do nothing or render the developing organism nonviable#some mutations do multiple things and it's real weird strap in#the mc1r gene is expressed in the skin and there's a version that codes for red hair and increased melanoma risk dammit but guess what#that same mutation is expressed in the brain and affects pain perceptions and analgesic response#more tolerant of many kinds of pain#more sensitive to hot/cold pain#varying levels of resistances to local analgesics#seriously my dentist has to give me like 3x the amount and she tried to trick me just to confirm#so this is what I mean when I say mutation is the raw material of evolution and all of it is a mistake in some aspect of cell replication#this means that you are a good thing that came from many many mistakes#feel proud#I'm not sure how this plays into the sarcastic cyborg plant person but I am picturing a steampunk triffid rolling its eyes
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Me, having an āolder sister momentā conversation with my half-sister: so yeah you know how Iām on the spectrum?
Half-sister: yeah?
Me: so is dad. I had to get it from somewhere.
Half-sister: really? Wellā¦ I was kinda suspecting it tbh, hereās a bunch of symptoms about him
Me: oh yeah, he is SO on the spectrum
#chris rambles#I canāt wait to just judge our dad together for the in-joke#that man has the ātism but he would NEVER admit it to even himself#like sir. she told me you canāt handle small changes like a detour off to a little shop while driving. you hate certain frequencies of sound#you donāt handle them well and sir you really need to get some stress relief techniques before you get Uber mad with your kids#Buddy. Pal. I got the ābad gut timesā gene from you AND mom but before you started eating healthy you too had similar situations to me#as well as several other problems (which were/are MUCH worse and WHY my mom is still Not Okay with him since he initiated the Dumb Movesā¢ļø)#(friendly reminder that being on the spectrum or neurodivergent is NOT your excuse to be an asshole of varying levels)#but all THAT is for another time
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I think of it like an identical twin: Yeah, the cultural/emotional relationship depends on who raises the kid, separate to the DNA. But regardless of who raise(d) us, we are genetic siblings/twins. If I found out tomorrow that my Suspiciously Similar Looking same aged "cousin" was actually my twin separated at birth and raised by my aunt, they'd still be my cousin, but also my genetic twin, and that genetic connection would have meaning. If tomorrow I met a baby one of my siblings was giving up for adoption, that baby would still be my biological nibling, regardless of where it ended up after that.
Like any adoptee, the clone baby's feelings about their biological family (not just me but my parents and siblings, our ancestors, etc) could end up anywhere from "indifferent except for health implications" to "deeply connected". And as with the hypothetical adopted out nibling, I would try and respect the kid's feelings, but on my own part would regardless definitely feel a certain Older Relative affection and responsibility. And as much as I'd respect boundaries (especially on their gender, which would plausibly not match mine) I'd really want to pass on advice on how not to end up as sick as me with a body like ours haha.
Speaking of projecting past regrets my mother would desperately want the kid raised Jewish in a way I wasn't. We have a family Zoom call tomorrow, gonna have to resist asking "So if a baby clone of me appeared tomorrow which of us would raise it".
Scenario: a sample of your DNA was taken, popped into a cell, and cloned into a baby, gestated in a sci-fi artificial womb vat. The first time you or anyone in your family meets this baby is after it has already been born out of said vat. You can hold the newborn if you want, it's up to you, but it is a living breathing baby that was cloned from your DNA and is genetically identical to you.
I love clone philosophy. Give me all your philosophy of clones
#poll#me#yes I have thought about this#the problem with asking that question would be that my dad would absolutely raise his hand first#and then we'd all respond to that idea with varying levels of tact#the more I think about how EVERYONE would project their feelings about me onto this poor kid#myself very much included#the more I'm like ok adopt out to some nice family with no strong preconceptions about me#maybe my younger cousins actually they seem chill and nice and we were never super close#but the kid would still have the same broad 'family'#even if āwho gets called grandmaā etc could get messy haha#I know someone who was openly adopted by her grandparents#and afaict she mostly saw her biomom as a much older sibling#and felt relatively chill about it all#ANYWAY none of this is related to the original question#except for how messy adopted relationships are a thing that already exists#and I don't think clones are all that much more complicated to handle
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Sometimes I forget that not everyone has the same love for music as I do. And man! It pisses me off sometimes.
#okay man fuck you i hope ur night gets worse like actually - me a minute ago#like........... can u admit that they incorporated that song REALLY FUCKING WELL into the show-#(and having varied enough versions of it too so it didnt get TOO stale)#or were u not paying attention. think abt it on more than a surface level for like 10 secs im begging!!#(although i do agree that the ending. couldve been better. their fear of KILLING killing one of main characters def hindered both#the themes of the show and and character. fuck whats the word .. development? like. it just didn't make sense that the other main character#didnt want her Dead dead after all that. he shoudlve killed her like goddamn!! if they had one more episode maybe..? š¤)#(oh and also i dont like how they completely brushed off the comedy relief character's death. like man. she deserved better than that.#u couldve used it to set the tone at least!!!! but noooooooooo we cant do that these days can we)#anyways yeah overall it was really good. WAY better than i was expecting tbh. teared up several times#solid 8/10 methinks .
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