#they are afraid and they dont want to die

[alicentsgf]

working on the basis jackie and shaunas relationship has always been blatantly and very deliberately homoerotic and that they were both silently habouring feelings (which i do), i find the rabbit motif even more interesting.

its been said before but the rabbit motif isnt so much representative of jackie as it is representative of the false version of jackie. her own parents didnt know her, her teammates didnt, even shauna didnt fully know her, etc, but thats not by accident, jackie simply didnt make herself easy to know. the girl looks miserable every time we see her alone in the pilot, but she pulls on a mask for others. for jeff. for shauna. we see her seemingly have a crisis over sleeping with her boyfriend and then she gets in the car with her best friend and buries it all, not letting shauna know shes struggling. starts talking about losing her virginity to him like its no big deal, like its what she wants, when its pretty obvious to both shauna and us as the audience that it isnt.

we later find out from the meat shed conversations that shauna knew about jackie's struggles. deep down she knew, even though they didnt discuss it, she saw jackie was lying about her relationship. but shauna has never been a good communicator and also perhaps was too afraid of upsetting/losing jackie to have an honest conversation with her. and if shauna knew that jackie was hiding things from her, obviously that causes resentment in someone like shauna. shes irrational, reacts to percieved rejection in unhealthy ways, and this is her best friend whos lying to her. something shauna sees as a form of rejection.

the first act of violence we see from shauna in the show is her adult self killing the rabbit. it cuts to this directly after we see her sleeping with jeff in the teen timeline and i dont think its as simple as parralleling two acts against jackie. like maybe its foreshadowing jackies death, aka that shauna sleeping with jeff will ultimately lead to it, but given that we've been shown time and time again how rabbits are mistakenly attributed to jackie, it could be something else instead. if the rabbit is representative of jackies perfect, manicured facade, then having sex with jeff and killing the rabbit are one and the same. shauna gains control. she takes all the power out of jackie's facade by sleeping with jeff. ruining the perfect lie. which makes her actual objective clear —

she hates the fake exterior jackie maintained. her adult self literally murders it. she is desperate for jackie to be truthful with her. to confess. be open and vulnerable. and as if that desire wasnt homoerotically charged enough, their entire conversation about jeff later in season 1 furthers it; jackie saying she should have said i love you back the day before they left, saying she shouldnt have made "him" wait, saying she just wanted it to be perfect, all fits within the circumstances of jackie and shaunas relationship as well. jackie didnt say i love you back thay day, she did make shauna wait (for jackie to be honest with her), she was too fixated on some perfect ideal to share her true feelings with shauna. i think its relevant that another big way the rabbit motif resurfaces is as a mask that melissa wears. like... a literal mask. worn when she tries to kill shauna and cant because she does love shauna, despite how badly she doesnt want to.

and for me the conversation about jeff, jackies struggles, everything about jackies character, if we put it all together, hardly makes any sense at all without accepting that jackie was in love with shauna. like yes it can be explained away, because of course it can, but does any of it actually add to the story? why was it included? if jackie wasnt, there is no obvious reason for the focus on it. why do we see her express her worry that she'll die and someone else will be jeffs first? just so we can see shauna feel guilty? the framing of the scene makes it so obvious this is about far more than that. and then jackie does die and someone else is shaunas first.

shauna is the only one who knew jackie didnt like rabbits. aka shauna was the only one who even came close to knowing the real jackie. but one thing jackie would always put up a facade for with shauna was when she'd talk about jeff. she didnt love him, barely even liked him, and shauna knows that. we see her confusion when jackie says she should have said i love you back.

shauna killing the rabbit then becomes very specifically about her killing that lie. the jeff lie. just like her having sex with him is. she wants control, she wants honesty, she wants an "i love you". she wants the lie jackie was telling her dead, but she also EATS it. she consumes it. accepts it. makes it part of her. never actually confronts jackie on it. eating the rabbit, making her family secretly eat it, as a metaphor for both her and them accepting the lie that their family is based on. a marriage she got into out of "guilt and shame" because she was in love with her best friend and her best friend loved her back and on some subconcious level shauna has always known that and cant face it, didnt dare make jackie face it either. i think any true conscious realisation of it would kill shauna. it honestly might be what eventually kills her. or rather, it might be what she has to face at the end. because if we're talking about things coming "full circle", as things often do in this show, then shaunas story would have to end with jackie and the secrets they kept from each other in that car in the pilot.

[screams-n-shackles]

Strong characters that are afraid of dying.

And I do not mean afraid of dying in a life threatening situation.

Let them be used to chaos, to pain. Let them thrive in conflict and near death experiences.

But as soon as it's quiet. When it's not possible to keep out thoughts by being busy, by fighting.

Let them lay awake. Staring into the night, and thinking about what they are fighting for.

What they are thankful for.

And then the realize, they are not only afraid of loosing those precious things.

They are afraid of never getting to experience Them ever again.

They don't want to say a final goodbye to a dear friend.

They never want to See a last sunset, their last movie.

Thinking about the Last Time they Said their mother that they Loved her or Vice versa sends Them into a Spiral.

Why does everything have to die?

They don't want to die.

They don't want to die.

That's when they start shaking. Eyes filling with tears as they struggle to breath between their sobbing.

Covering their mouth, so noone can hear them in this State of Mind.

Their mind fogs as panic overwrites every positive thought they might try to conjure up.

No Matter what they try, Images of their Possible deaths appear in their mind.

They could get shot and die in Combat.

They could choke on a peanut or get a Brain aneurism in the middle of the night.

That's it. Their end.

Nothing more. No afterstory. And in a while their name won't be mentioned ever again.

A life of suffering to protect others, only to vanish into nothingness.

Reduced to Ash and Stardust.

What are they even Fighting for?

What does it matter?

Does.... Anything Matter?

[jellynotbees]

Thinking of siren Narinder again and him later in the au despite caring for Lamb having to fight his instincts to get to a point where he trusts himself to not hurt them. He at that point perceives himself as a monster more than Lamb does and it really shows at times

Like aside from the fear of potentially acting on instinct and hurting then before he can think (he IS a predator after all), he also is venomous and could easily accidentally poison them. He has sharp spines and claws that are meant to rip and tear, not hold. He is designed to kill, not care, which is why he is TERRIFIED.

Meanwhile lamb is pushing the boundaries a little more than they should be. Sitting JUST out of reach of the edge of the water, walking the line between danger and safety, just trying to get what little companionship they can in their situation. Despite everything, they don’t hate Narinder. They actually like him and enjoy his company but still remain reasonably cautious. At a certain point it becomes less fear and more acceptance, him wanting them dead is just a fact of life they accept.

Essentially Narinder is terrified of hurting Lamb but Lamb fully expects him to should they fall into the water and accepts that.

[dimpletheheck]

Cranky villagers my beloved <3

This is totally not supposed to be relatable-

Don't look at me like that-

[valithiri]

Interview with the Vampire (2022-) | 2.05 | 2.08

Louis making a suggestion and the moment Armand really considers it

[ftcatv]

2 | NEON from @falloutober prompts i swear im not gonna make all these prompts about nick

[kheprriverse]

Y’all thinking about an older Ares has RUINED me

[fishtheflowerchomper]

quick little thing!!! tw car accident!!!!

so, my mother has this friend who i know. her name is ashley. ashley is married. her husband has a sister. his sister got into a car accident. a bad one. she is in terrible condition and im hoping she survives. i dont really know her but her name is amanda and she made the best bread rolls ever!! thats really all i can remember her for. her really good baking. ive only ever really met her once or twice buying rolls from her. i hope shell survive.

ashleys 5 children are at home and there is no adult. if they need anything, they will text my parents. which means theyll leave and go help them with whatever it is. i dont know why, but i have a feeling that they wont contact my parents at all. but they know my parents really well, so of course they will. im worried about them and amanda. i hope everything turns out well, even though i know it probably wont. im so worried.

[spacedlexi]

Kenny and Violet anon here YES.

Violet is upset because someone she defended against her found family of 8 years let her get taken by brainwashing adults for 2 seconds and everyone flips their lid.

But Kenny refuses to stop a train, and gets into a whole fight with Lee over it (AND REFUSES TO HELP YOU FIND A LOST LITTLE GIRL WHILE YOU’RE FIGHTING OFF AN INFECTION, where as Violet always defends you in Episode 1 regardless of whether you ignored and/or antagonized her or not), and gets mad at an 11 year old for not being able to handle helping someone in labor by herself and everybody’s like “Nah it’s okay, his family died years ago so he gets to do whatever he wants.” as if Violet didn’t witness one of the only consistent family members in her life die in front of her 💀

There’s so many comparisons I could make and one day I’ll make a Venn Diagram about all of their similarities but for now I’m glad someone pointed this out.

there are some things kenny does that have No excuse (like refusing to help bitten lee look for missing clem all because hes mad you didnt side with him enough. leaving lee to singlehandedly save himself in the pharmacy because he got scared. threatening to slap clem for blaming herself for lees death. off the top of my head). but his behavior on the train is annoying yet understandable. he doesnt want to admit his son is dying and he feels like duck dying in the first place is his fault for not saving shawn. you can convince him to stop without things getting physical

the Problem comes in when people can understand and sympathize with kennys annoying/shitty actions, but when it comes to violet (who has the same "my family is dead and its made me bitter and closed off" backstory (and her whole arc is about learning to love and care again)), suddenly all understanding goes out the window. even tho shes not even a FRACTION as annoying and shitty as kenny can get 😭😭

violet is mean to clem for the One scene where youre introduced to her (ignoring your first moment with her in the courtyard where shes smiling at clem so you already know her shitty attitude later is a lie. louis even defends her. wingman lol. and depending on what you say in response to her you can Immediately see the regret on her face LOL). but before the scene even Ends shes complimenting clem and clem loves it. then youre forced to talk to her and tenn about the twins, you have a nice card game where you can joke around with her, then she shows up at the dorm and they have a nice heart to heart about how theyre BOTH struggling with the loss of people theyve loved, and they can sympathize about both being harsher than they intend (THEY GET EACH OTHER CANONICALLY)

and vi not being "a people person" is a huge part of her arc?? she doesnt like that shes like this 😭 but shes also better with people than she gives herself credit for and its why she makes a good leader. (and even if you pick the "came off strong" option clem is OBVIOUSLY teasing about it but vi cant tell and gets defensive ("its not like im trying to be bffs or whatever. sorry" is so "you want to kiss me so bad it makes you look stupid" of her)

and then after this shes never mean to clem again?? (unless you antagonize her but even then its mostly just about her standing her ground and not taking shit she doesnt deserve. which is fair). shes only mean to brody while fishing (and shes mean to brody because deep down she blames HERSELF) and the whole POINT of that scene is to try and mend their broken relationship which immediately makes vi a happier/nicer person if you do (also interesting how louis doesnt get any shit for His behavior while hunting 🤨 no hes just cool and fun). violet also apologizes for being "weird" in the dorms the previous night as well (bby girl why are you afraid that everything you do is weird 😭 she says that word a lot)

violet will Always have clems back (in EP1 and 2!!) No Matter What you do or say to her. i think people take her loyalty for granted. so if you dont save her in EP2 and expect to continue to have her unwavering loyalty in EP3? thats a You problem. she is Fucked Up mentally on that boat by lilly and her not-exactly-ex, and then gets caught in the explosion she didnt want anything to do with. AND THEN SHE APOLOGIZES because she recognizes she was WRONG

(not her literally trying to make a joke about it to ease the tension 😭 people dont give her credit for also having a sense of humor. like louis is the only one who cracks jokes around here) but again when it comes to kenny his actions are understandable and defendable even without an apology 🙄 i literally side with kenny on Everything except the larry thing and if you dont make the right dialogue choice with him? he will not help you look for clem. because of larry 😐 i killed your son for you bro and then took care of his walker doppelganger so you didnt have to. and this isnt even touching his behavior in S2. and yet despite everything he does hes still one of the most beloved characters in the fandom 🤨

i just have to remind myself sometimes that all vi options were made 53-61% and the vi haters are a loud minority. her always being above 50% is so interesting to me because i love when choices are split perfectly 50/50. but the way the fandom talks about her (and the women in general) you wouldnt think shes technically the more popular option (and i Hate playing the popularity card its so annoying, but im only doing it bc people also say shit like "maybe if vi wasnt so mean more people would pick her" they DO pick her!!! you just got mad she was mean for 5 seconds, never payed attention to her again, and used her determinate reaction on the boat as justification for not liking her 😑) (also ignores how mean louis gets in EP2 regardless of choice?? but like kenny His actions are defendable and sympathetic and hers arent 🙄)

[h2llish]

i want to do a reset but theres no way i can do that with this account

[aqualityofthought]

I don't like how when I'm really into something I won't engage with it. Like, I want to continue American Horror Story, but my brain is like "no"

[mercless]

rather than fears i see them having , i'm just curious in general how they'd rank the following in base , modern , and high noon : large dogs , bodies of water ( can't see the bottom ) , bodies of water ( can see the bottom ) , heights , death , public speaking

large dogs: 4/10 "Most dangerous in a pack and without verticality nearby."

bodies of water (can't see the bottom): 10/10 "No."

bodies of water (can see the bottom): 8/10 "Water is deceiving."

heights: 4/10 "Only need to worry if you don't know how to get down."

death: 10/10 "..."

public speaking: 5/10 "No one would listen to me."

large dogs: 6/10 "Most are 'all bark' but I'm not looking to get mauled."

bodies of water: (can't see the bottom) 8/10 "Dangerous."

bodies of water: (can see the bottom) 5/10 "I don't swim."

heights: 5/10 "Just don't make mistakes when you're high up."

death: 9/10 "Life's shit but it's the only one I got."

public speaking: 7/10 "Fuck that."

large dogs: 2/10 "Don't matter the size, they know to fear somethin' that'll hunt 'em."

bodies of water (can't see the bottom): 6/10 "Ain't plannin' on a dip anytime soon. Not like one will appear in the middle of the dessert one day."

bodies of water (can see the bottom): 4/10 "Good for drinkin' or drownin'."

heights: 3/10 "Some mighty fine ravines to get lost in out there."

death: 8/10 "Do you know what's after death for demons?"

public speaking: 6/10 "Ain't looking to be a town crier anytime soon."

fear rating

[starfall-sea]

aaand im stuck on a boss. the rage one in the outback. i think its solo only. the guy has just like 2k too much health

[saph-yells-into-the-void]

i know n*gisagi has its fans and while for the longest time I've considered myself neutral towards it, I think I'm realizing that this is the only ship in bllk that truly gives me the ick

which is weird bc platonically, I actually fw it pretty hard. romantically though....

[madeoftwinklingstars]

something i think is really interesting about judaism is that there are movements that simply. do not believe that the torah (the main book of judaism) was written by god. i mean in what other religion would this be widely adopted. why hasn’t similar ideas spread further? what makes judaism different from them? while orthodox claim that jews who believe this are heretical, they are still forced to engage with these arguments that the torah was simply written by people trying to make sense of the world. there are also multiple movements within orthodoxy that force them to engage with this argument as well— like the fact that there are orthodox individuals who believe in science and evolution. if the torah is wrong about adam and eve, what else could it be wrong about? it’s so just so interesting to me.

[gilliontidestridertits]

guhfhhdgshsuhshehegj hit song rolans ultimatum reblog if u agree