#they are a couple you are right FirepOwder!

[goalieflashflight]

Vimes:

You deserve a reward for putting up with me.

Sybil:

*smiles* You are my reward.

Moist:

(Not willing to be outdone) You deserve a reward for putting up with me.

Adora:

Yeah, you’re a real bitch sometimes.

Rincewind:

The path to inner peace starts with four words.

Rincewind:

Not my fucking problem.

Vimes getting a voice message from Sybil

Vimes imping back a text:

I’m a little busy, is it urgent?

Sybil imping a text:

No, don’t worry dear, just listen later.

Vimes in his office later:

*Presses play on voice message* Sybil’s voice: PUT OUT THAT FIRE FOR GODS SAK…

Background noise: Their newest hire Emily screaming and young Sam laughing

Magrat:

Hey, Granny! I made you this friendship bracelet.

Granny Weatherwax:

I’m not a jewelry person.

Magrat:

Oh, well, that’s okay. You don’t have to wear it-

Granny Weatherwax:

No, I’m gonna wear it. Forever. Back off.

Vetinari: I never tell people right off the bat my sexuality.

Vetinari: I wait.

Vetinari: I wait until they say some homophobic shit

Vetinari: And then I laugh and I’m like “you know I’m queer, right?”

Vetinari: And watch the look of terror on their face.

Vimes:

This is bad.

Vimes:

This is really bad.

Angua:

What is it, sir?

Vimes:

I kissed the patrician.

Angua:

Woah. I owe Cheery so much money-

Nobby:

I wanna make one thing clear. You mess with Fred you mess with me.

Colon:

Yeah

Nobby:

Because we’re boys

Colon:

…Yeah.

Nobby:

We’re friends!

Colon:

Yeah!

Nobby:

We’re boyfriends!!

Colon:

Ye…No. No we’re not. You can’t say that-

Nobby:

We’re boys and we’re friends

Colon:

Yeah that’s better.

Nobby:

So we’re boyfriends.

Colon:

No-

[firefly464]

The Gilded Cage - Chapter 1

if you cant tell the first part of this was written by pami a couple weeks back when we first decided to actually do a prequel :D

Written in collaboration with @i-have-this-now :D

Thank you @rivys for beta reading, editing, and writing :D

Master Post

First - Next

~~~

The first thing that Eret noticed when he woke up was the aching pain in his head. Before he even opened his eyes, he could feel the side of his head throbbing. Every tiny movement sent another wave of pain through his mind. 

Tentatively, he cracked open his eyes, only to shut them almost immediately as a bright light pierced his vision. The light only caused his headache to grow ten times worse. A wave of nausea washed over him, making him groan internally. The last thing he could clearly remember was being on stream, with each memory after that fuzzy and unreachable. 

All things considered, he was probably hungover. He couldn’t remember ever getting drunk, which probably wasn’t a good sign. 

Eret tried for a second time to open his eyes, this time pushing through the pain in his head. As he looked around, he noticed his surroundings were blindingly white. It was as if someone pointed a flashlight directly at his face. Squinting, he tried to see where he was. 

It was way too bright to see anything he recognised, but even with the weird light he saw, he couldn’t see any of the familiar outlines of his desk or chair. It looked like he was inside some sort of strange room from the looks of it, only just barely able to make out the bright outlines of a couple windows. Oh god, did he get kidnapped? Was he already in the second location? What was going on?

“Whoa, slow down. You’re going to make yourself sick. The potion still hasn’t fully left your system,” Eret was forced to swallow a scream of surprise as he heard his friend's voice. Wilbur’s voice was coming from somewhere beside him, though it was far too bright to actually see him. “Wait, here’s your glasses.”

Glasses? Since when did he wear glasses? “My wha-” Eret began, cut off as�� an object was pushed into his hands, plasticine and cool to the touch. A pair of sunglasses. He slipped them over his eyes and immediately realized why Wilbur had given them to him. Everything darkened significantly and he could see a lot more than he could before. He was in some sort of van, metal sheets were hammered into the walls of it, as if it had been built by people who didn’t really know what they were doing. 

“Hey, so uh, how are you feeling?” Wilbur asked, his voice filled with tension. 

He glanced over, surprised to find his friend wearing a strange, revolution based outfit. Maybe they were at a con? That would explain the strange cosplay, but it still didn’t make sense. For one, Eret couldn’t remember ever actually going to any conventions, and besides, he was fairly certain that all all conventions were canceled because of covid.

“I feel like shit,” he admitted, slowly pushing himself up into a sitting position. 

Will chuckled slightly, but it sounded forced. “That makes sense. The potion took a toll on all of us.” 

“Potion…?” If he was being honest with himself, he didn’t know where he was, or why Wilbur was there too. He didn’t know what was going on. He was confused, lost, and just wanted to go back to bed. 

The door to the strange van creaked open and someone poked their head in. “How’s he do- oh! You’re up!”

Eret had to do his best to suppress a shriek of surprise. Entering the van was Fundy, but he was… well, different. Peeking through Fundy’s brown wavy hair were two pointed fox ears, and swishing behind him was a fiery orange tail, tipped with a patch of snow white fur. What the fuck?

“Fundy?”

Wilbur furrowed his brow. “He might be experiencing some memory loss. Eret, do you remember who I am?”

“What?” He shook his head, trying to focus. “Yeah, I don’t-- Memory’s good. Just uhh…” He tried to think of a viable excuse, but nothing came to him. “Y’know.”

“Right.”

A tense silence fell over the room as the three of them stared at each other, unsure of what any of them would say next.

Fundy cleared his throat. “Well, sir, I’ll assume my post at the door again. Let me know if he causes any trouble.”

Wilbur nodded in return. “Make me proud, son.”

With a sharp salute, the fox began towards the door of the van. “Of course, father.” Just as soon as he had entered, he was gone, his tail flicking behind him.

Eret furrowed his brow. Father? That didn’t make sense, Wilbur was only three years older than--

Oh.

Memories came rushing back to him as the pieces clicked into place. He remembered the Final Control Room, the strange falling sensation and... being in the game? No, no. That can’t be right. It wasn’t real, right?

“Eret. I need you to focus. I’m going to ask you a few questions.” Wilbur asked, now more forcefully.

“Er, sorry about that. What- sorry- what was the question?” Eret was tempted to ask him what was going on but he thought he should just answer the questions for now.

Wilbur sighed, as if disappointed. “Why didn’t you press the button?”

“Why didn’t I- what?”

“The button was supposed to open up the walls, wasn’t it? You were going to open up the walls, let Dream in, and drug us all. You were supposed to betray us, why didn’t you?” 

“I- I really don’t know what you’re talking about.”

“Eret, don’t lie to me, we found the needles in your bag-”

“I’m not lying.” He steadied his voice, there’s no use shouting at Wilbur. It would only end up making things worse. “I didn’t know what was going on. Wilbur, you have to believe me.”

“You were going to betray us. Why should I believe you?”

Eret didn’t know what to say. This wasn’t real. This isn’t supposed to be real. It was just a game. It was… It was right in front of him. Wilbur didn’t act like himself, he was stern and precise. Was he really even Wilbur? The one he streamed with and joked around with? The one he gathered resources for in Minecraft? He just didn’t understand. 

“Wil, what the hell is going on?” Eret started. “One minute, I’m at my PC. Next, I’m here in this… whatever this place is.”

“What do you mean? Eret, you-” Wilbur was cut off.

“Wilbur, I don’t think I’m from here.”

“...what?” 

“I- This whole world- This isn’t supposed to be real. I’m not supposed to be-”

Click.

Darkness creeped into the edges of Eret’s vision, spots dancing in front of his eyes. Blood rushed past his ears, drowning out any other sounds. It felt as if his mind was filled with static noise, whizzing and humming. “What the…” He blinked a few times to clear his vision. Wilbur sat on the wooden stool, his eyes glazed over. “Uh, Wilbur? Are you alri-”

Wilbur snapped out of his strange trance and shot to his feet, his gaze filled with anger and hatred. “Eret. You heartless bastard. Do you have any IDEA-”

“What? Wilbur, why-”

“Why the fuck are you even here?! To mock us?! To rub your victory in our faces?!” he was screaming now, his voice echoing through the small room, making Eret’s head pound.

"What the hell are you talking about?! I didn't do anything!" he was on his feet now, his arms raised to protect himself. He didn’t know what was going on, but the look in his friends eyes was enough to make him fear for his safety. 

The door to the van slammed open as Fundy came rushing inside. A rush of emotions flew across his face as he took in the situation before him, going from confusion, to shock, and eventually settling on pure hatred, mixed with a hint of fear. His tall, pointed ears were flattened against his head. In any other situation, Eret might have found it funny, but in the moment he was in no mood to laugh. “What the fuck is going on? Why is Eret here?” 

“That’s exactly what I’m trying to figure out. This son of a bitch was here when I came in, who knows what he might have done.” Will snarled, never taking his eyes off Eret.

“What the fuck do you mean? Wilbur, you brought me here! I’ve been here the entire time! You- Fundy, you saw me!” 

“Excuse me? What the hell do you mean by that? I’ve been standing outside this entire time!” Fundy’s hand was on the hilt of his sword, ready to unsheath it and attack at any moment. 

Wilbur’s eyes narrowed as he stared at Fundy, trying to figure out what Eret was talking about. “Enough!” he cried, “Fundy, I want you to go and ring the alarm bell. I need everyone here at once. Understood?”

“But what if he-” 

His eyes narrowed even further. “Now.” 

Eret’s mind raced a thousand miles a minute as he watched his friend scamper outside, most likely to go and sound the alarm. He needed to run, to escape. He didn’t know what was going on, or why Wilbur was so angry at him, but he knew that he needed to leave. The murderous look in his friend’s eyes made it very clear that he wasn’t just going to let Eret walk away peacefully. 

The far off sound of a bell ringing echoed through the small van. Eret could feel his heart rate increasing. Any second now, the others were going to come into the room, and it would make escape ten times harder. If he was going to make a run for it, this was his chance. 

He glanced at Wilbur, then to the door. Although the taller man was in a defensive stance, he wasn’t armed. There was no weapon in his hands. This could be his only chance. 

He crashed through the door, and didn’t look back.

~~~

Master Post

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