#they are SO SOFT and also responsible for SO MANY atrocities

[doomedlightningshard]

Under his touch the ivory lost its hardness, grew soft, moved underneath his fingers, and gave way, just as Hymettus wax softens in the sun and, once men’s fingers work it, can be formed in many shapes, thus becoming useful by being used. (Ovid, Metamorphoses, trans. Ian Johnston)

(moren belongs to @azure-dragonsinger)

anime goth bishounen emet-selch 15 minutes late with starbucks live reaction under the cut

[adonis-koo]

wicked • 20

↳ Summary: In a desperate hope to stop war from breaking you are a serviced to wed the most vile man alive, the one who has committed atrocities and war crimes beyond comprehension, he who is responsible for the fall of many nations, the wicked prince who’s heart is made of stone. You are to marry a man who challenges every belief and moral you stand for, all while being faced in a foreign land with nobody but yourself too trust…But are you both truly that different? Or is hate not too far from love?

↳ Pairing: Jungkook/reader

↳ Genre: arranged marriage AU, enemies to lovers, it’s kind of a period AU??? Historical but also technically not? prince!AU, eventual smut

Word Count: 11k

Previous | Next | Masterlist

tags: mastubation (m), strip tease, slight dub con??, handjob, overstimulation, humping, multiple orgasms, unprotected sex, slight breeding kink (oops), oral (m) & (f), 69ing (OOPS), slight pain kink,

note: this is way later then it was supposed to be...anywayysssss enjoy !!! :)

“How does it feel to be somewhere so familiar, Princess?” Wheein asked as she dressed you for the afternoon. 

You hummed as you let her continue to style your hair, “Familiar, but…different now. I was a young girl when I used to roam these halls, but I’m a grown woman now. I'm excited to see my parents, I hope they’ll be attending dinner tonight.” 

“It’s only a matter of time now,” Wheein hummed out as she tenderly braided and pinned your hair the way she wanted it, “I don’t mean to pry m’lady but…” She let out a soft giggle, “I can’t help but ask if you and the Prince are now…? Embracing your marriage?”

You couldn’t help but tense, you had tried really hard to be quiet at night but there were definitely a few moments you had been unsuccessful, “Was I loud?” you whispered in horror.

This made Wheein laugh in surprise, “So you’re embracing one another very well?”

You felt your face become hot at the realization that clearly you hadn’t been, but now you had ratted yourself out, “Just pretend I didn’t say that.” 

Wheein let out a soft giggle, “I’m happy for you both…After everything you both have been through, you deserve happiness together, you both have had to overcome a lot of things. Take pride in your relationship.” 

You gave a small smile in the mirror, “I appreciate your words Wheein. But enough of that, how are you fairing? You’ve never traveled outside of Penumbra before, right?”

Wheein nodded, “This is my first time, I’m nervous truthfully, something about it feels so…Heretical, but exciting…? I hope to be able to explore a little bit in the week we stay here.” 

This made you happy to hear, “Kimhae is very beautiful, I’m sure there will be plenty of opportunities to go into the capitol to explore.” 

Wheein grabbed the crown, onyx, the same you had worn to your formal dinner, it would be a constant here in Kimhae as a show of status along with your wedding ring that dawned your gloved hands. 

“Finished. You look beautiful.” Wheein smiled in satisfaction, “Is there anything else you would like before we escort you to dinner?” 

You shook your head, “Nothing, besides your company. I missed you terribly when you were away. And while I enjoy Jungkook’s presence, he is by no means good with feather and fuss the way you are.” 

This made Wheein chuckle, her nose scrunching in delight, “Nothing brings me more pride than being next to you both. I’ll let the others know you’re ready.” 

Jungkook had left the room a little while ago upon Yoongi requesting him outside the room to talk about something. 

Standing up you brushed the skirt of your dress of the few wrinkles that had formed from sitting. 

This was one of your favorite winter gowns, sheer gold fabric lining from your neckline to your chest, covered in precious gems and the fabric ran to your forearms but it was concealed by bigger dramatic puffy sleeves the same dark midnight blue color of your skirt. 

Stepping out of the room Jungkook and Yoongi had ceased their conversation at the sight of you, “I’m not interrupting am I?” 

“Of course not your Highness,” Yoongi bowed to you, “You’re just on time in fact.”

Jungkook sighed as he peered out the large windows to the darkened skies, “We’re late.” 

“All the best couples are.” You smiled as he offered his elbow out as you grabbed ahold of it, allowing him to lead you down the halls, navigating to the main hall where everyone would be celebrating, after all it was the Eve before Yule. 

“His Highness, Jeon Jungkook Crowned Prince of Penumbra and her Highness, Jeon Y/n Crowned Princess of Penumbra.” The caller announced as the doors opened. 

It seemed the jolly sight inside had frozen despite the music still playing, you couldn’t help but feel nervous with so many eyes on you, but squeezing the bicep of your husband made you realize you were not alone. 

His crown stood tall on his head, dawned in his finest black and gold silk robes for the occasion, he looked like the epitome of confidence and power, and as his wife, you wanted to be his mirror, a strength to him, not a weakness.

You straightened yourself a little, lifting your chin as you let him help you down each step, eyes following you everywhere as people began to whisper, but after having been on the cold gaze of the Penumbrian court, you had found you clearly had hardened yourself to the stares.

Not letting them bother you the way they may once have. 

And in the crowd, there were two familiar faces that you had missed so dearly, that did not look at you as if you were a killer, “Mother! Father!” You called out, excitement pushing away the previous feelings of uncertainty, having let go of Jungkook to greet your mother.

Her arms were wide open, eyes beaming with pride as you buried into her, the sweet smell of nectar dripping off her body, the warm comforting smell of home, “My sweet daughter,” She ushered out, pulling away as she grabbed your face, “My look how you’ve grown, she truly looks like a grown woman, no longer our little princess.”

“I couldn’t have hoped for a more lovely daughter to be our future queen of Penumbra,” Your father grinned softly as you mirrored him, immediately wrapping him in a hug next, “We’ve missed you greatly so our little sun.” 

You smiled at them adoringly only to feel the towering height behind you, standing at an awkward distance, turning around you gestured your love over, “Come Jungkook, don’t be a stranger.” You let out a soft endearing laugh, this only made him awkwardly shuffle a little closer.

Uncertain of where to look or how to greet, “Your Highnesses,” He gave a small formal bow. 

Your mother let a quirk of a pout tug on her lips, “No son-in-law of mine will greet me so formally, come.”

You and your father glanced at one another before sharing a laugh at Jungkook’s pupils widening a little before briefly glancing at you before he hesitated, arms acting stiff in the brief hug before immediately dropping back to his side. 

“Surely you’ve hugged this poor boy my dear,” Your mother sighed, watching with a certain pity on her face before turning to you, “He treats me as if I am something to be frightened of.” 

Jungkook’s lips parted but you spoke before him, “We’ve embraced plenty, Jungkook is an introvert by nature,” You couldn’t help the affectionate smile tug on your lips as you placed yourself back at his side, arms wrapping back around his, “He doesn’t fair well with social events.”

“I can hold my own.” Jungkook muttered with a puff of his chest. 

“Don’t let their teasing get to you,” Your father chuckled, “I’ve never been one for social events either, Esme has always been the butterfly of us both.” 

“Oh don’t flatter me.” Your mother rolled her eyes playfully, “Come, let us sit, you must try the wine.” You let your mother lead the way as you all sat down at the large table, your eyes searching the massive party only for them to suddenly lock onto Seokjin’s, halfway across the room.

He appeared sulky, empty wine glass in hand and in a circle of aristocrats talking and he clearly was not paying attention, his gaze set solely on you. You blinked, immediately looking away as you smiled at the cup bearer, pouring you a large glass of wine. 

Taking a long sip you hummed in delight, “Eunoian?” 

“Imported,” Your mother smiled with love, “Kimhae has always been too tart for my taste.” 

“Tart and a twinge of sour,” Jungkook’s nose wrinkled, “They never let their wine ferment long enough.” 

This immediately had your mother’s attention, a fellow wine lover, you couldn’t help but grin at the sight as she immediately began to complain with him and as she got him talking, Jungkook slowly but surely relaxed as he began his second glass of wine. 

“Come, walk with me Y/n,” Your father smiled, shaking his head at the sight of the other two engrossed in gossip of Kimhae, who would’ve thought Jungkook would get on so well with your mother? 

The wine was certainly helping all the same. 

“I would love nothing more,” You smiled as you stood up, taking your father’s arm as you both began to walk, “How has Eunoia been? I’ve missed it terribly…” 

Your father gave you a soft smile, while you had always been undoubtedly close to your mother but… due to her dryad blood, she had always been harder on you as a child, making sure you stuck to your rigorous schedule.

There were many days when she was the source of your tears, but your father? He was nothing but soft for you, always sneaking you sweet treats at night and on the days you would weep, he would read you stories until you fell asleep. 

His love was always so soft, barely detectable but you could always feel it through the trepidations of your childhood. 

“We are doing well, with the protection Penumbra has given us, we’ve dealt with much less bandit raids, our crops no longer plucked over. Your presence has been an irreplaceable void though.” Your father hummed out, “The throne room hasn’t looked quite right since you left, Arielle never had the straightest cut.”

You couldn’t help but smile as you rolled your eyes, “Don’t say that too loud- lest she hear it all the way from Eunoia and kill all the foliage off in spite…Is she…” You sighed, you supposed you shouldn’t indulge the gossiping part of your brain, it was only a childhood rivalry, you were a grown woman now, those things should stay in the past. 

Your father however seemed to know exactly what you were saying, “There is talk,” He mused, “She does not have dryad blood though.”

“Perhaps that is for the best,” You murmured softly, your father peering at you in curiosity as you spoke softly, “Perhap it is time for Eunoia to leave our lesser human nature in the past?”

Your father hummed, “What has you thinking such thoughts, my little sun?” 

“...My stay in Penumbra has not been an easy one, I won’t deny it,” You murmured quietly, “I’ve suffered many trials and tribulations, the dryad inside me has proven to be very hard to contain…”

This made your father laugh, surprisingly, “So was your mother’s, her nature still can be from time to time.” 

“I just don’t understand, even after all these years. We strive for peace and yet all I want is war,” You frowned, troubled once more, “I want nothing more than to wrong those who have wronged me. And I hate it, revenge has a bitter taste.” 

“It’s an inherent nature,” Your father replied, tapping your arm comfortingly, “It’s inside all of us, you are inclined moreso from the polarized nature of a dryad. The beautiful thing about it is that we cannot have life without death. Your mother was never the best at explaining it,”

He sighed wistfully, as if accepting this about his wife, “But it always seemed to me that as a dryad, your duty is to balance it, not strive for one or the other. The giver and taker of life, it may run through your blood but you are not a god Y/n, it is not your calling to be one or the other. But I’ve always seen great things in you. I’ve always felt you’ve been called to mediate the conflict of the giver and taker, give life where it is needed, death when it is warranted. These things are scary when we’ve been taught only one is right, but it is not impossible.”

Dead eyes flashed in your mind, your grip on your father’s arm tightening a little as you took a long breath, “Then why is it I always seem to only bring death?” 

Your father frowned, a sad look in his eyes, “You were but a child Y/n, too young to be put in the tents, but your mother was insistent. Death is the only thing guaranteed in life, we must all face it eventually, some sooner than others. This is the way it is meant to be, you did the best with what you were taught.”

You stared at the ground before you murmured, “And…what if…I broke my vow…? What if I had taken a life on purpose?” 

Your father paused, slowly his eyes lingered on your figure, your expression was full of sorrow and lament, he tenderly brushed your shoulders, “My words would remain the same, you were never meant to uphold one value or the other. I trust you would never do something rash, if it were not called for.”

You both began to walk once more and for a long moment you thought of his words before you were plagued by a forgotten thought, “I’ve heard….stirrings, rumors.” 

“In the beast itself?” Your father laughed, “Do tell.”

“Rumors that…” You lowered your voice, “Eunoia is building an army…?” 

Your father paused in somewhat surprise, “Really now?” He paused thoughtfully, “Well, I suppose it would seem that way.” 

“But it isn’t?” You raised your brows hoping that it certainly was not what it seemed. 

“Did you know that the dryad’s were not just healers?” Your father gave you a knowing smile, “But they were also warriors, it was said they were gifted with the sight of knowing, shooting arrows that could hit even targets from miles away. We have decided to take up the divine dryad’s way of Archery- a form of weaponry, in honor of Penumbra for the Rite of Peace.” 

You paused…archery…? Everything made so much more sense suddenly, and it dawned on you that while you knew much about Eunoia, you still had so much more to learn about your ancestors. 

“I…I love that Eunoia has decided to pick this back up in honor of Penumbra,” You gave a small smile, somewhat relieved, “Jungkook will be thrilled to hear this.” 

“Ah…” Your father hummed, “And I do assume your husband has been treating you well?”

Your nod became somewhat shy, “We didn’t speak the first month but…well circumstances arose that no longer allowed us to hate one another…And somehow, we…began to understand one another? Misunderstandings truly are the root of hate aren’t they?” 

“Hate makes all of us blind to the reality of life, nothing is fair, nobody is ever truly free, we all have our burdens and trepidations to bear, not one better than the other. When we embrace intentional kinship, to set aside our differences, and truly learn from one another with compassion and understanding, we are at our strongest…”

Your father hummed before he looked at you for a long moment, “Though it has not been long, you seem older now…Wiser, patient…You both suit one another very well.” Your father praised. 

“I would’ve hated those words once upon a time but…” You gave a satisfied hum, “You are right, I couldn’t think of another person I’d want as my husband.” 

The evening went on, you and your father had many people come and socialize with you both, many royals and aristocrats alike wanting to know about Penumbra, about the Wicked Prince, about the tall tales that came from its lands. 

You indulged none, and left everything vague, giving only knowing smiles and cryptic words, after all knowledge was a currency of its own for royals. 

It was well past midnight by the time you and your father had arrived back at the banquet table to find your partners well past the point of sobriety, your mother and Jungkook sharing a loud boisterous laugh as he cackled, “I wish you had seen it, the sword went flying out of his hand and the look on his face was that of a child.”

“Oh come now Jungkook he can barely hold a cup with two hands let alone a sword!” Your mother cackled out, near empty cup in hand. 

“It seems we’ve made our timely arrival,” Your father let out a soft sigh as he shook his head, “Come now Esme, let us not insult our host’s family too loud,” He pulled her chair out offering an arm to her, “We ought get you to bed.” 

“I agree,” You replied, standing next to your husband’s chair where he was slightly slumped, crown crooked on his head, “We should retire, my love.” You leaned down, fixing his crown back straight. 

His hand caught yours as he pressed an amorous kiss against the palm of your gloved hand and a silly little smirk on his face, “If that’s what my goddess wishes.” 

You felt your face becoming hot at his words, clearly the liquor making him much more boldly flirtatious then he would typically be in a public space. 

Jungkook stood up only to wobble a little, you immediately grabbed his arm, not offering as much support as you wished, but you only needed to get him as far as Yoongi, who was coolly leaning back against the wall, arms crossed and eyes scanning the room. 

You waved Yoongi over, his eyes immediately catching your figure as he pushed off the wall, “Can you please get Jungkook back to our room?” You asked.

“Of course, Wheein will escort you back then I presume?” Yoongi asked and you nodded, with that he took your husband back though not without complaint of you not being by his side. 

You only smiled briefly only for your vision to be blocked by your mother, grabbing you with an adoring look on her face, very clearly drunk, “While I had my reservations about him, you both make a lovely couple Y/n,” You giggled softly at this as she continued, “And hopefully you’ll make even lovelier grandchildren for me.” 

“Grand children!?” You nearly choked on your words.

Grandchildren…? 

“Now, now Esme, leave her be, that is their business,” Your father tutted, “Goodnight Y/n, we shall see you in the morning…Or at the very least I will see you in the morning.” 

You waved goodbye but your mind was fried at her words…children…You…you hadn’t even thought of children, which was incredibly stupid given the amount of unholy sex you were currently having, with absolutely no regard of how many times your husband emptied himself inside you. 

Your hand ghosted over your stomach as you wondered, what if you were pregnant? It was a brief thought with no actual evidence to back it up. 

But the idea of blue eyed, dark haired children running around suddenly filled your heart with so much joy, you could hardly continue the girlish smile you had, children…Surely Jungkook wanted children, right? 

You pressed your lips together in uncertainty, being the heir to the throne meant it was an expectation but…You didn’t want to bear his children if he wouldn’t share the love he had with you to them. 

It was late and you supposed these were conversations you would need to have at a later date with him, sooner than later given just how fast you both had been going. 

You called Wheein over as you both exited the party.

The hallways were dark and you had just reached the end when a voice called out, “Y/n…” 

Wheein frowned as you both paused, turning around as you noticed the lone figure at the other end of the hall, Seokjin…Wheein briefly looked at you with a quirked brow. 

“Seokjin, my apologies for not greeting you at the party, I was catching up with my parents.” You called out as he approached you.

“Nevermind that,” He offered an easy, charming smile, “I know how much you’ve missed them, but…I’d like to speak to you, alone…”

Wheein shifted immediately, not liking this one bit as she stared at the foreigner, briefly looking at you once more, and you could tell she didn’t like this, “It’s late Seokjin, I was just getting ready to retire for bed…”

“Indulge me, just for a moment.” Seokjin asked, holding a hand out to you. 

You stared down at his palm, and for the first time you noticed the lack of calluses on his hands, his skin incredibly soft, “...Very well, where would you have us speak?”

“Just up ahead, in my office, your maid may go I will-”

“My maid will stay just outside the office,” You cut him off, Wheein giving a curt nod at your words, “Lead along, I do not have all night.” 

Seokjin frowned, eyes lingering warily on Wheein just as her’s did, almost as if sizing one another up before he walked ahead of you both and turned off onto a hall before he stopped, it was vague but you did remember being in his office a few times. 

He stepped inside as Wheein whispered out, “Will you be okay m’lady?” 

“I’ll scream if I’m not.” You gave her a reassuring smile before you stepped inside, closing the door behind you. 

It all came at once, the sudden feeling of invading your personal space, his body pressing into yours and his hands wrapping around you, “Oh my love,” He whispered out, “You’ve become a marvelous actress, but you should be taking my lead to not make things more difficult for us.” 

Your body immediately tensed, these were not the arms you were used to being wrapped around you, and these were not the lips of your husband against your ear.

Seokjin pressed his forehead into yours just as swiftly as you were pushing him away, “I am no actress, what is the meaning of this Seokjin?” 

Seokjin’s lips slowly curled into a frown at the evident step you took away from him, a safe distance between you both clearly feeling like a rift for him, “I’m here for you.” He spoke quietly, “Albeit he wasn’t supposed to be here but we can make this work, some plans will simply have to be altered.” 

You blinked several times, “Plans…?” 

Seokjin nodded, a smile slowly curling on his lips once more as he took your hands into his, “We can talk more about it later, but just know that we will be reunited once more Y/n, it’s been sickening…watching the way he drags you around as if you are nothing more then some doll, his hands touching what is not his.” 

Your stare hardened as you slowly shook your head before letting out a long sigh, “I’m sorry Seokjin, it seems I was not clear last time we spoke.” Though you felt as if you distinctly remember being perfectly clear, “We are no longer an item, we have not been since the day before my wedding.” 

Seokjin shook his head, as if he was in denial, “I have been biding my time for you my love, the days I’ve ached for you, touched myself to you. You can’t seriously tell me you have not yet felt the same?” 

He was staring at you expectantly but you were at a loss for words, because while yes a part of you had mourned him the first few weeks of your stay, but after a month Jungkook had become a bigger part of your thoughts with each day, and Seokjin becoming so obscure that you no longer even thought of him unless it was prompted in conversation. 

“I’m sorry Seokjin,” It was a genuine apology, “But I cut ties for a reason, I’ve only come to Yule to see my parents and nothing more. I do want you to rest easy…I am very happy in Penumbra, and Jungkook does not treat me like a doll he…” You stared at your gloved hands, “Jungkook loves and respects me for who I am, what I am capable of. And his hands touch me as if I am his, because I am. There is no other man I want to belong to.”

Seokjin slowly shook his head and it made you wince a little. He was taking this harder than you had assumed he would, perhaps because you had assumed your relational ties had been officially cut. 

You assumed there might have been a forlorn sort of pining from him, mourning what could have been, but to have this delusion that you both were still romantic lovers was an entirely different subject. 

“You don’t mean it Y/n,” He took a step closer to you, hand grabbing your waist making you jolt, “I don’t know what they’ve done to you, but you’ve been brainwashed. Turned blind to their hedonistic ways. You are not the Dryad Princess I know.”

“If they are heathens,” You shoved his hand away from you, “Then I’m afraid I was never going to be good enough for you, for if they are heathens then I cannot imagine what I must be in comparison. I am far more than a Dryad Princess, you say you no longer know me, but it only shows me just how little you actually knew me. I value the time we had together Seokjin, but I love Jungkook. He is my husband and I am proud to be his wife and it will remain this way. Goodnight.” 

You promptly closed the door behind you as Wheein straightened up from her fretting state, you gave her a tense but attempted comforting smile, “Come let us go Wheein.” You ushered softly as she nodded. 

After a long quiet trip through the halls she finally asked, “It’s not my business but I can’t help but ask m’lady…what was that about?”

You shook your head, “Some things must die slower than others I suppose.” You stopped at your door just where Taehyun walked out from exasperatedly. 

“His Majesty is still awake, just a forewarning.” Was all Taehyun said and that was all you needed to know.

“You both are dismissed, I doubt we’ll need any help tonight. And do take the early morning to yourselves, Jungkook will definitely need to rest until mid morning.” You offered a weak smile as they both nodded, perhaps knowing but saving you the embarrassment.

After taking their leave you stepped into your room, lit only by firelight as you quietly shut the door, “So my pretty wife finally shows her presence.” Jungkook was leaning against the bed frame, slumped once more, terribly drunk. 

You offered a gentle smile, the tension that had been in your body slowly melting due to his warm presence you had become so familiar with, “So I am here; I did not mean to make you wait so long.” You were in no rush to the bed as you slowly walked over to your vanity, pulling the gloves from your hands and taking the shoes off your feet.

Setting your crown on top of the empty pillow and taking off your jewelry as you felt his eyes burning into your back before you finally approached him.

“What held you up?” Jungkook’s eyes lazily dragged over your body, sitting on the side of the bed as his feet planted on the ground, hands reaching out for your waist, “You were supposed to help bring me back.” 

Your smile became just a little shy as your hands settled on top of his, the warm comfort it brought such a stark contrast to what Seokjin had attempted to replicate, “I got caught up, but I’m here now. Help me?” 

You turned around as Jungkook stood up, a little wobbly and maybe not the best with his fingers at the moment but he managed to get your dress undone as it fell to the ground, you still had your slip on underneath, it wasn’t meant for sleeping but it was comfortable enough that it would do. 

You plucked the dress from the ground before tossing it, the fabric catching on the chair at your vanity before you turned around to face him once more.

You couldn’t help the soft laugh that escaped you at the dilation in his eyes, his tongue swiping over his lip feverishly, “Was it him?” 

Your brows lifted a little in somewhat surprise and that gave him everything he needed to know, his jaw clenching a little as his hands tightened down to your hips, “Saw the way he was looking at you, as if you belong to him.”

Your arms wrapped around his neck as you whispered, “But I am yours. You shouldn’t worry about him.” Tomorrow, you would tell him what had happened, but tonight, you wanted to rest with your husband and let him sleep off his liquor. 

Jungkook’s nose buried into the crook of your neck before his lips began to press into your skin, and you were quickly beginning to realize this was a telltale sign, his hands roaming your sides before curling around the material of your slip. 

“Lay down,” You whispered, “You’re drunk.” 

“I’m sober enough,” Jungkook replied with a moan into your skin, “Indulge me, light of my life, you say you’re mine, but I need you to show me. Need you wrapped around my cock.” 

His moans against your skin was tantalizingly difficult to say no when he laid back against the bed, pulling his pants down to reveal his fat cock bobbing to his abdominal as he wrapped his hand around it tight, eyes staring at you with a lazy heat as he slowly began to stroke his shaft. 

You couldn’t stop the pout on your lips as your arousal immediately pressed into your panties, “You’re drunk Jungkook…” 

“Mmm, I can be drunk and have my cock rode.” He replied, his hips stuttering a little as they lifted into his fist, his cock squeezing through as he moaned, “Do you not see how desperate I am for you? Don’t deny me now.”

Precum was beading against his slit as you slowly pushed your slip up, letting your panties drop as he moaned his hand pumping his cock all the way up to his bulbous head before squeezing it all the way back down, “Fuuck, that’s a good girl, show me those pretty tits.” 

Slowly you peeled the slip up your body, one inch at a time as Jungkook’s hand eagerly worked his cock, eyes lidded as he moaned, watching the fabric tease just below your bust, ‘Don’t tease me now.” 

You pulled it up, your tits bouncing as he swore, fist pumping his cock furiously as you pushed it over your head before letting it hit the ground, “Nee’ you Y/n, mmm, need your warm cunt.”

You couldn’t help but laugh at how whiney he was at the moment, getting up on the bed you straddling his thighs as he moaned his hand slowing down to lethargically stroke his cock, eyes trailing up and down your exposed body.

Leaning down a little you couldn’t help but curiously wrap your hand around his base, his stroking paused as he released his own grip, “Mmm, stroke it.” 

You couldn’t help but feel a little shy, it was so thick and heavy in your hand, “How do you like it?” You whispered out, trying not to let yourself be intimidated. 

Jungkook reached back down, his hand wrapping over your own, grip suddenly being crushed much more than you would’ve expected, “Hard, like when it hurts.” His thighs tensed as he guided your hand up his shaft, roughly pumping back down to his base as he hissed out. 

You mimicked his movements, letting your hand jerk up his cock as he guided it back down each time forcefully, you couldn’t help but be mesmerized by the way his cock moved with each stroke, his fat head slowly beginning to turn red, as if angry to not have it’s release.

“Mmm stick your tongue out,” He mumbled, “Want to watch your spit drip on it.”

“Jungkook..” You ushered in embarrassment.

He smiled wickedly, “Would you rather suck it instead?”

“If you had chosen to stay sober,” You teased right back, taking a long breath you appeased him though, sticking your tongue out as salvia slowly gathered at the tip of your tongue before a large glob slowly hit the fat head of his cock. 

Jungkook jolted and stiffened beneath you, a deep moan escaping him at such a lewd sight as your hand wrapped around his tip, dragging the fluid down his cock making it more pliable, he could hardly stand it as your hand squeezed harder around him. 

“Fuck yeah, like that, nice and hard.” He moaned in pleasure, eyes lidded and watching your hand with each rough stroke, “Mm little harder- shit…!” He moaned even louder as his eyes closed briefly, your hand squeezing nice and hard around his base as you began forcefully pumping his cock just the way he enjoyed it. 

His thighs kept tensing beneath you and you could feel your arousal drip on his thigh as you slowly shifted slotting your own thighs beneath his thick taunt one as your hips couldn’t resist but to wiggle, your wet puff slit dragging open along the warm skin of his thigh.

“Mm that's it, good girl,” He moaned deep, eyes locked between your little cunt making a mess all over his thigh and your hand, working his cock nice and rough, “Rub your little clit on my thigh.” 

You let out a little whine at your clit sliding against his skin, pleasure frictioning against the open plane as your grip on his cock tightened, hand fisting all the way to the head of his cock as you roughly pumped his head, as if trying to squeeze the cum right out. 

Jungkook’s moans were salacious and wonton, not holding back in the least as his hips suddenly thrust upward into your hand, his thigh rutting into your cunt as you let out a small breathy moan, enjoying the mess your cunt was making. 

You spit once more on his cock making it slide with ease once more, “Mm just like that, fuck Y/n, yeah, mm gonna’ cum.” 

Jungkook’s hips were impatiently thrusting upward as your hand forcefully pumped his cock, his thigh continually rutting up against your clit just the right way as you let out whiny moans, “Cum for me, please, that’s it, cum.” 

Jungkook was pliable at your voice, whining and begging softly as your hand tightened around his cock once more, the sight of you bending slightly, your tits bouncing and your tongue sticking out, only this time his fat head aimed at your mouth. 

It was such a lewd sight, Jungkook cursed loudly, your hand roughly stroking his cock as the pleasure became blinding, the sight too tempting as he grunted out a deep moan, cumming hard as he kept his eyes wide open for the spectacle, spurts of white cream shot from out from his slit, hitting your tongue, “Fuck, oh my god, yeah, suck it, please, fuuck, suck it up.”

You appeased him, your lips tenderly around his head before sucking it harshly as he cried out another deep moan, eyes unable to pry away from the sight, one arm forcing his hips down to keep from rutting into your mouth as your other hand forcefully pumped his cock of every last drop of seed. 

Your lips stayed wrapped around his fat head as you felt more substance dribble out from his weepy sensitive head. 

Your hand pumping every last drop he had to offer as his thighs violently twitched with each stroke of your hair, his moans were loud and obscene as he growled, “Keep going fuck, can take it.”

That deep dominant voice had you pliant, obediently swirling your tongue around his slit, cum slowly leaking back down his cock as you stroked it.

You could tell he was overstimulated just by how violently his body was twitching but just as you kept going his cock slowly started to harden once more, pulling off his head as you swallowed the rest of the substance, a subtle sweetness in it otherwise tasteless. 

Jungkook moaned, his hyper sensitive cock resting back against his abdomen, “Wanna cum in that pretty little cunt now.” 

You couldn’t help but feel somewhat shy, “Are you sure?” 

Jungkook moaned softly as his hands wrapped around your hips as you shifted yourself, “Why wouldn’t I be? Nothing satisfies me more than watching my cum drip from this little hole.”

You shuddered as you grabbed his cock, watching the way he sucked a harsh breath in, teasing his weeping cum covered head against your slit before slowly sinking down on it.

The stinging sensation was absent, only the feeling of his fat cock sliding inside you with ease as you both moaned, “…Even if I become with child..?” You whispered out.

Jungkook’s hands suddenly gripped your hips even tighter, eyes lifting with a wicked smirk on his face, “Why do you think I've emptied inside you every time? Mm is that what you want? My seed nice and deep inside this cunt until your belly becomes swollen? Filled with my child?”

Your cunt harshly wrapped around his cock, you hadn’t expected your body to react so harshly to his words but it was making your clit throb in excitement, the idea of becoming pregnant with Jungkook’s child.

Your hips were immediately bouncing, your cunt greedily sucking his cock deeper inside as your walls clenched around him, soft whines escaping you, “Mm! Please…!”

Jungkook moaned softly, “So I’ve found your weakness,” he cracked a boyish smile, “You want to be my little cumdump? Milking my cock of every drop of cum until you're pregnant with my baby?” 

Your thighs were trembling at the idea, the anticipation of his cum spurting deep inside you, the excitement made pleasure bloom through your body as his shaft began rubbing right where you wanted it, “Please…! I’d be good!” You whimper, “I’d take care of our baby…”

Jungkook moaned hands encouraging your hips, roughly bouncing as his big cock forced his way past your little walls, “Mm know you would, have’ the prettiest belly. Prettiest tits…”

Your whines and moans were like music to Jungkook’s ears as you frantically bounced on his cock in need, his hands soothing your hips as you moaned, “Wan’ baby please…! Koo’…!”

“Mm that’s it my love,” Jungkook moaned as your hips became flush with his, feeling your walls wrap around him as came once more, cum burying deep inside you as the loudest, whiniest moan escaped you, cumming all over his cock as you bounced once more, milking every drop from his cock once more as it buried inside you.

Every muscle in your body was tensed as your breath labored, fists curled against Jungkook’s chest before he grabbed them, tenderly uncurling them as he laced his own bigger ones in yours, “So you want my children hm…?” 

You slowly opened your eyes, tiredness running in your body as you let out a soft, somewhat shy giggle, “Do you want me to have your children?” 

“Is my cock inside?” 

“Stop…!” You whispered out, falling against his chest as he chuckled, arms wrapping around you, his cock softening as it slipped out of your body, the warm sensation of liquid dripping down your thighs as you curled up against him. 

Jungkook’s eyes fluttered shut as he hummed, fingers tracing over your sides, “There’s no one else I’d rather have children with.” 

Jungkook had slept heavily through most of the early morning like you had assumed, he did wake up once, stirring a little at the feeling of your tit cupped in his hand, he only gave it a nice hard squeeze before falling back asleep. 

The light had begun to shine through and you could tell the halls were busy with maids, your personal servants wouldn’t be in for another hour and a half at least though, and somehow, you thoroughly enjoyed being able to lay with your husband like this. 

Far past any reasonable hour to get out of bed. 

“Will you survive my love?” You whispered out a small giggle as your hand reached out, brushing back those long dark bangs from his forehead. 

He groaned, eyes still closed but you knew he was awake, “It feels like I am an anvil and my headache is a smith master. You never told me your mother could hold her liquor better than you.” 

You smiled fondly as you laid on your stomach, propping yourself up on your forearms, “They say dryad blood makes alcohol less potent.”

Jungkook’s eyes shot open, a comedic glare on his face, “I see you’ve chosen to keep that information to yourself.” 

“I never thought it was relevant,” You laughed softly, trying not to be loud for the sake of his poor head, “It’s probably why I can drink more than you.”

“And yet you never seem to utilize this ability, you should take after your mother more,” Jungkook groaned as he pulled his arms over his head, eyes squeezed shut once more, “So you’re ready to have my children hm?”

You tried not to choke on your own spit at such a drastic conversation change, “I…” 

Jungkook’s lips slowly pulled into a smile, eyes lidded once more as he stared at you, “What got this on your brain?” 

Your lips parted multiple times, trying your hardest to not let yourself become shy, but it was difficult under his gaze, “...My mother- very drunkenly told me she hoped for grandchildren soon last night after you departed with Yoongi.” 

“Hm yes I do recall her mentioning this to me as well,” Jungkook laughed softly at the expression on your face, “Telling me we would make the prettiest children and that if I wasn’t treating you well she’d personally castrate me- I also see where you get your temper from.” 

You weakly smiled, you wanted to say your mother would never say that sober- but you knew good and well you got her temper in a much higher dose then even she had. 

“She was one of my teachers,” You replied, “...Is it…you don’t think we’re going too fast?” 

Jungkook rolled onto his side, “What do you mean?” 

“Having children?” You raised your brows, “I…I don’t know why I didn’t think of it sooner, but with how we’ve been…It may be a good possibility.” 

“We’ve been married for almost a year now,” Jungkook mused, “True half of it hasn’t been on good terms but the court…” He sighed, “I hadn’t wanted to tell you because I didn’t want you to feel pressured but…The Penumbra court has started questioning me on when they can expect an heir.” 

Your lips slowly curled into a frown, “I’m not surprised…” Because regardless of how either one of you felt about this, there was a duty to uphold, “Is that why…?”

“No,” Jungkook immediately cut you off, head resting against the pillow as his hand reached out, tracing your jawline, “Our moments have been organic and I had no hidden agenda behind them, but I won’t deny that I’ve emptied inside you continually because I am intentionally trying to get you pregnant- for the sole reason of wanting to have a child together. Not because the court expects me too...” 

Your stomach felt like butterflies had formed, something like arousal stirring in your body at his choice of words, “You’ve been trying to get me pregnant without telling me?” It wasn’t meant as a reprimand but more of a soft tease. 

Jungkook let out something between a laugh and a scoff, a boyish look on his face, “Figured’ the action spoke more for itself I guess. Nothing screams "I want to get you pregnant” like burying my cum inside you.” 

“Jungkook…!” You whispered out. 

Jungkook laughed harder before wincing, hands grabbing his head as he groaned, “This horrible, ugh Eunoian wine always gives me the worst headaches. Seems you and the wine have something in common.” 

You clacked your tongue, “And here I thought I was going to be nice this morning and give what you had requested the night before.” 

Jungkooks eyes blinked back open, curiosity brimming as he squinted, “What does that mean?”

“You only get to find out if you take back the headache comparison.” 

“It may give me a headache but it’s just as sweet as your cunt- Ow!” 

You had immediately straddled him, taking your pillow with you as you hit him on the head with it as he grabbed it, tossing it aside before his hands snaked around your asscheeks, “There it cancels out, now continue.” 

You could feel the pang of arousal in your cunt as you situated yourself, leaning forward a little as you smiled, “You’ve been rather mean to me this morning, are you sure you’re worthy of it?” 

“You like it when I’m mean,” Jungkook flirted back, fingers digging into your ass, multiple bruises had already stained your skin in the form of his fingers, and it looked right now would be stained on your skin later as well, “I could be even meaner- After all, you let Yoongi take me back and then that rat got his hands on you.” 

You raised your brows with an amused smile, “I assure you no rat had his hands on me for more than a moment.”

You could see it in his eyes, something dark stirring as his jaw clenched a little, a possessive tone in his voice, “A moment is still too long- what did he want?” 

Your hand traced down his chest as you replied, “It seems I was not clear enough when I ended our relationship right before you and I wedded. Seokjin had this idea that we were still lovers.”

“And?”

His fingers dug even harder, nails starting to dig into your skin, not overly painful but just enough for your cunt to feel it, “And I told him I belong to you, and that there was nothing left.” 

Jungkook huffed, fingers relaxing a little, “Couldn’t stand the way he looked at you last night, acting like he had any right to stare at you like that.” 

You laughed softly at his broody look, “Well trust me, Seokjin isn’t getting to experience what you are.” 

Your lips pressed against his clavicle, Jungkook’s lips parted to make a remark but they paused as you lifted yourself a little, kisses fluttering down his chest as the bed cover was slowly pushed back, his naked body revealed and his cock hard and proud. 

It was difficult to not be aroused when he knew you were naked in his bed, but the sight was even more to behold as your tongue softly pressed against his abdominal, his sucked in a harsh breath of air as the soft wet muscle slid towards his pubic bone. 

You planted another kiss against his pubic bone before pressing your tongue back against his warm skin, sliding it down to meet the base of his cock, his hips physically thrusting in need as you let out a shy laugh. 

Jungkook had done nothing but give you pleasure from the moment he declared his love, you wanted to show him the same, how much you wanted him, needed him, how he would never need to worry about another man. 

You only wanted to be his, it was difficult to not let yourself become shy though- yes you had a little experience with this, but it was different, back then you did it as a means to keep things from going further. 

You wanted to do this now, but your husband was not what you considered beginner friendly, it felt like a weapon was staring at you.

Jungkook couldn’t resist the soft moan at the sight of you looking up at him, those pretty doe-like eyes all flustered just inches away from his cock, so confident one moment and shy the next.

Jungkook let out an amused scoff, his hand tenderly pressed against your head as he stroked it, “You’ve sucked cock before, go on.” 

It was a lighthearted tease that made your lips quiver into a pout, “Jungkook...I…I want you to show me what you like…” You mumbled, unable to look at him whilst saying it. 

Jungkook hummed as he reached out, grabbing your head more firmly as he forced you a little closer to his fat cock, “Open your mouth,” It was soft command you couldn’t deny as you let out a breathy moan as you parted you lips, “Mm yeah, now stick out your tongue.” 

“Jungkook…” You squeezed your eyes shut in embarrassment but you felt a sharp tug on your hair in reprimand. 

“You want to please me, yeah? Then be a good girl and show me your tongue.” Jungkook growled lightly as your lips trembled before you did as you were told. 

You stuck your tongue out a little as Jungkook grasped your hair once more rewarding, “Good girl,” He stroked your head, “Now open your mouth a little wider and let your spit drip on the head.” 

Your entire face felt like it was on fire, grabbing the base of his cock as you leaned over it, sticking your tongue out a little further as Jungkook spoke, “Look at me.” You meekly glanced up at him as a wad of spit dripped off your tongue, pooling down onto his fat bulbous head as he moaned softly, eyes lidded at the sight. 

“Fuck yeah, my pretty wife, now take the tip in your mouth, just the tip,” Jungkook ushered softly, watching in blind pleasure as you meekly leaned down, parting your lips a little further, you couldn’t help but hesitate for a moment. 

It wasn’t that you were staring at his cock, it was more like…it was staring at you. His tip was incredibly fat and bulbous, you knew this, but now being at eye level, mouth to cock level, it made you realize just how big he was.

“Having second thoughts?” Jungkook teased, “Your little rat wasn’t as well equipped?” 

Your eyes slowly looked up at him with a glare as he snickered, an affectionate look in his eyes, “Just the tip to start my goddess.”

Your lips parted around his tip before fully pushing it further into your mouth, your jaw immediately aching for a brief moment before you forced yourself to relax as you closed your eyes, sucking his tip gently as you waited for Jungkook’s next instruction. 

Jungkook could feel the sweat breaking on the back of his neck as he moaned softly, “Fuck,” Something about watching you struggle just to take his tip had his hormones completely fucked up, “Drag your tongue over the slit.” He gritted his teeth, watching you pull off his cock before you looked up at him, dragging your tongue over his head as his lips twitched, hot arousal beginning to fill him more and more, “Now suck it further.” 

Your lips pressed against his tip before you parted your lips once more, trying to relax your jaw as you took him back into your mouth, this time attempting to take him further. Keyword; attempt. It was admittedly a tight fit, not as impossible as you first assumed it would be, but not as roomy as it had once been with Seokjin. 

You let out a muffled whine causing Jungkook to moan as he gripped your hair a little tighter before he pushed you a little further down onto his cock, a noise sounded from you but it suspiciously sounded like a moan and you hadn’t pulled off him yet. 

Jungkook testingly yanked your hair a little, another whine thrumming on his cock as he began to force your head to bob along his cock, he moaned softly at the sight of your mouth stuffed with his cock, naked and tits bouncing, drool beginning to dribble down his shaft and to his balls. 

“Good girl sweetheart.” Jungkook moaned a soft praise as he began to push you down further onto his cock, now nearly half his cock stuffed into your mouth before you suddenly gagged, his fat head hitting the back of your throat. You hadn’t pulled completely off his cock, just enough to regain yourself before you grabbed his thighs, taking his cock back where it was before. 

Jungkook ran a hand through his hair as he puffed a breath, “What a good little girl, taking my cock this obediently. Mmm you don’t have to take it down your throat if you’re not ready, I’m sure you haven’t- fuck!” He hissed through his teeth at the sudden feel of his fat head beginning to forcefully squeeze down that tight little throat of yours. 

Your eyes were immediately blurring with tears and your jaw had a gripping ache in it and your throat was burning but you weren’t about to quit now as you took his cock further down your throat. 

Jungkook was moaning louder this time running a hand through his hair and trying to not give into the animalistic urge to fuck your throat raw, instead his hand won the battle instead, yanking your hair roughly, causing a choked gurgled whine to escape you, it had his cock throbbing even harder. 

You whimpered at your slow pace suddenly upheaved for a much rougher sloppier one as Jungkook forced your throat to take his cock exactly the way he wanted it, you were gagging now, tears dripping down your face as you moaned on his cock. 

Swears begin to leave his lips left and right before he came you were suddenly pulled off his cock, a breath of air escaping you as you gasped out, your throat painfully stinging as you looked up at him in teary eyed confusion. 

“Sit on my face.” It was ragged, grunted command

You coughed, rubbing your throat tenderly, “Pardon?” 

“Want to suck on your clit while you finish me.”

You couldn’t even ask how that would work before Jungkook suddenly grabbed you, roughly manhandled you as you whined out, clit throbbing as he turned you around, “Jungkook…!” 

“Going to suckle this pretty clit while you suck my cock,” He pulled your thighs closer as you dropped, hands catching the bed as you whined, now within distance of his cock, head weeping precum as it faced you. 

Jungkook easily moved your thighs to either side of his face as you let out a shaky breath, you didn’t think such a lewd position could exist and yet Jungkook was surprising you with new things with each passing day.

You let out a sharp moan at his tongue suddenly pressing against your hole, tasting your arousal before sliding up your puffy slit, an even louder moan escaping you as his lips wrapped around your clit for a brief moment.

“Use your hand and your mouth,” Jungkook growled, the carnal need to cum all over your face and his patience was running thin, hand suddenly smacking your ass in prompt as you let out a loud noise.

“Mm fuck yeah, squeeze it hard,” Jungkook moaned at your hand squeezing his thick base nice and hard, lips wrapping around his tip as he began to suckle your clit once more, a lewd mixture of moans filled the air. 

Jungkook’s hands rubbed down your thighs as before he harshly smacked your right ass cheek, hips jolting as he heard a gurgled whine, your hand forcefully pumping his base with a tight squeeze as you messily bobbed your head down on his cock. 

It was difficult to focus when his tongue was swirling around your sensitive little bud, every little flick sending shocks of pleasure in your body as you whined around his cock, every little sensation of pleasure making you take him further in your mouth as you began to rock your hips against his tongue.

Jungkook allowed his tongue to still, letting your hips guide his tongue to slide through your little slit back to your clit as you moaned, your hand stroking him roughly became shorter once more as your mouth took more of him

Your voice vibrated along his shaft as you sucked against him harder, hand stroking past his base as you tenderly massaged his balls, making a grunt escape him, lips wrapping around your clit once more as you whined, Jungkook refuses to let up.

His hand suddenly smacking your left ass cheek this time, the delicious sting of pain making you moan as spit slowly trailed down his shaft, your hand becoming lubricated as it squeezed harshly against his base, pumping him roughly as if trying to milk his cock for every drop of seed.

Jungkook smacked your ass harder, the stinging pain persisting as his tongue messily swirled your clit before the palm of his hand found your ass once more and his hips lifted, his cock sliding in your mouth with a gurgle, just the feeling made him moan and before he could stop he couldn’t help himself.

Jungkook’s hips continued to thrust as he felt your mouth obediently still for him, letting him fuck your mouth, cock sliding along your warm tongue as his palm smacked your poor right asscheek, once, then twice, he could feel your gurgled moans on his cock as he continued to fuck it in your mouth before he hit a particularly sensitive spot on your ass making you squirm.

Jungkook tenderly stroked the spot as he moaned along your clit, hips lethargically thrusting as your grip on his base suddenly squeezed tighter making him grunt once more, he had surely found heaven. Even with a pounding headache still raging your sweet cunt took the edge off it.

He moaned softly feeling pleasure throbbing in waves as his cock slid along your tongue, your hand pumping his base before massaging his balls once more, he didn’t even bother to warn you, too lost in his own pleasure buried in your cunt, lapping up your clit as his eyes closed, revealing in his orgasm as he came in your mouth. 

You let out an obscene moan as you took him further, sucking his cock harsh as his own moan mixed in the air, hands stroking your ass as you sucked every drop of cum from his cock until he was too sensitive as you pulled off him.

Jungkook however was still very much enjoying your cunt, lips lazily wrapping around your clit making you squeal once finally resting against his pubic bone as your clit throbbed, his tongue abusing your little bud as he moaned, lapping and suckling it as pleasure rapidly built in your body, far more than you were used to at once.

Jungkook’s grip on your thighs tightened at the feeling of you jolting, the pleasure almost too intense as you struggled, his stubborn grip not letting you go as his tongue flattened your bud moaning as you whined out, “Mmm! Koo…! Ah…!” Your body stiffened at the way his tongue slid quickly along your sensitive clit, flicking at its sensitive spot before an even higher pitched cry left you.

Your thighs almost spreading more as your hips sudden rutted into his tongue, Jungkook moaned hands grabbing your hips in encouragement as you rutted into him further, clit throbbing in so much pleasure before you came, and it felt so good, having his warm, soft tongue continue over your clit and keep going.

Everything was becoming sensitive, even painful, but you couldn’t ask him to stop when it felt so good, Jungkook’s hands were all over your ass, petting it and squeezing the flesh in his hands as his tongue tenderly pressed into your clit, gathering the overstimulated bud in his mouth.

Your thighs were beginning to tremble as breathy whimpers escaped your lips, unable to keep yourself propped anymore as you laid against his body, letting him support you as he tongue swirled the bud that was quickly building pleasure once more, your moans were unfiltered, unholy and loud, “Koo…! Mmm’ Koo…mmm like that…”

Jungkook suckled your clit a little harder before flattening his tongue over the bud once more, clit burning in pleasure as you whined sharply, his tongue kept lapping that little sweet spot before your back began to arch, propping yourself on your forearms, hips desperately rutting his face for relief.

Feeling his tongue messily push through your slit back to your clit each time was like madness as pleasure bloomed in waves, before it finally snapped, cumming all over his tongue as you whined.

Hips unable to stop rutting as his tongue stilled for you, letting you go as long as you wanted, giving you as much pleasure as you wanted, riding your orgasm out until you felt the next one already building.

“Mmm! Koo…yeah…oh…!” you whimpered softly, eyes shut as you felt his tongue pushing and flattening onto your clit with each rut of your hips.

Every little touch had you jolting a little, thighs burning but your body unable to stop at that delicious sting of hypersensitivity, your clit aching in pleasure with each slide of friction with his tongue.

Jungkook kept your hips still as his tongue swirled around your aching bud making you moan, mumbling incomprehensible words, pleasure aching in your body as he suckled the tender bud in his mouth once more.

Jungkook was particularly tender this time, slowly coaxing the orgasm from your body, tongue making no harsh motion or movement, only pressing softly into your sweet spot each time just a little harder. 

Your body trembled as you let out a gurgled whine, pleasuring building as you felt his tongue swirl around your little hole, dragging arousal with his tongue as he lapped your clit, giving it a soft kiss before gathering the little bud into his mouth to suckle.

The gesture made your body fold, cumming from the sensation as you collapsed against him once more, eyes blurred from tears of pleasure at how good it felt, how good he made you feel.

Jungkook pressed one last kiss against your clit before he slowly peeled you off his face, his hands were gentle as he manhandled you, pulling you against his chest with a soft moan.

Kisses flustering along your collarbone as he murmured, “Mmm, my wife, mine,” his fingers squeezed against your skin, “My head is killing me.”

This caused a tired chuckle to escape your lips, curling against him as you tenderly pressed a kiss against his neck in reciprocation, “I know my love, maybe you should not drink as much tonight…?”

“I make no promises,” Jungkook murmured against your skin softly, fingers tracing the sides of your body, “Especially when you take pity on me like this.” he pressed another kiss against the side of your head, “Even moreso when you look so beautiful….” He slowly frowned, piercing eyes trailing your body as his hands feathered along your skin, “What did he want with you last night…?”

In turn you couldn’t help but frown at the memory, shifting in your husbands arms as you laid on your stomach, hand reaching out to brush the hair from his eyes, “Seokjin took me to his office to talk privately, it appears he…” You sighed, a worried look beginning to spread across your face.

“What?” Jungkook’s brows furrowed.

“While he assumed we were still a couple- there’s something else that worries me more…” You thought back to the previous night as you continued, “He mentioned having a plan…? Involving me coming here on my own and staying.” 

Jungkook frowned, laying on his back as he stared at the ceiling in thought, “That could mean many things. Even if you had come here by yourself, staying would cause uneasy tension with Penumbra.”

“And what would that lead to…?” You asked, trying to figure out just what Seokjin had planned.

Jungkook shrugged, “Seems Kimhae was willing to go to war for you.” 

“You would go to war for me?” 

Jungkook’s lips quirked as he gazed at you, his eyes full of admiration as his fingers traced along your jawline, “If you were kept here against your will, if it meant bringing you back home.” 

You couldn’t help but share a shy smile with him, closing your eyes at the feeling of his hand tracing along your back, “Still…it worries me, much tension has been detected surrounding Penumbra.” 

“What would you propose we do about this then…?” Jungkook asked. 

You chewed on your lip in thought, “Well, I already ruined any chance of Seokjin potentially giving me any information.” 

Had you played your cards a little smarter you could’ve charmed Seokjin’s little plan right out of him, granted you were sure Jungkook would’ve rather fell on his own sword before witnessing such an event, so perhaps this was for the best anyways.

This made Jungkook snort, “Made a point did you?” 

“Nothing less than a true Jeon would.” You replied, perhaps a little proud.

This made Jungkook smile, clearly enjoying the way you wore his surname, “Nothing less than I’d expect from my wife.” 

“The only way we can know for sure if Kimhae has ill intentions is if we search Seokjin’s office.” You hummed out with a nod of certainty, “If there’s information anywhere on it, it would be there.” 

“…You’re asking that we do something that would potentially land us in hot water with the royal court if we got caught…?” Jungkook hummed.

A mischievous smile tugged on your lips before you whispered out, “I’ll have you know I was very good at sneaking out.” 

“Why am I not surprised?” He looked amused, “And when do you propose we do this? Since his office is definitely not highly guarded.” 

“We’ll have to sneak away during the ball,” you answered easily, “Most of the guards and attention will be on the ballroom since so many royals and high aristocrats will be attending, should make the halls easy to navigate, and everyone will be making merry- even the staff, shouldn’t be too difficult to get to his office unnoticed.” 

Jungkook raised his brows intrigued, “Hm…so you really are a troublemaker.” 

“Are you surprised?” 

“No.” Jungkook let a sly smile tug on his lips, “Our marriage would’ve been terribly boring if you weren’t.” 

[oonajaeadira]

I'll Leave a Light On For You

Fandom: Bloodsucking Bastards / Max Phillips

Pairing: Max Phillips x f!reader

Reader: Adult female. No other physical descriptors; no use of y/n. (There is a little description, but it’s still you. Believe me, it will make sense. We’re dealing with the supernatural here.)

Rating: T. 

Warnings: Angst. Character death. Allusions to the atrocities of war and its lasting effects. Max is a vampire. Traumatic soul memory. Me assuming I know anything about French culture of the 1930s.

Summary: Max has reservations when it comes to love, and for very good reasons.

A/N: This is my entry for the @pedrostories Secret Santa event. While I played one selfish card in my hand and wrote something of a companion to Light Only Shows You Where the Shadows Are, this can still be read as a standalone.

To my giftee, the amazing and wonderful @artemiseamoon : First of all, I admire you so much and I was really nervous to write for you. But I looked among your generous prompt choices (omgs thank you for so many good choices) and was surprised to find Max as an option. I wasn’t going to choose him at first but then my eye caught “past lives” and something in me zinged. Soul mates, angsty romance, second chance at love… and I’ve been itching to write an angsty Max. I know you are a fan of soft and whump, so all those elements had a party in my heart and here we are. I really hope you’re having a nice holiday and a good time off. Happy Secret Santa, Arte. <3

What we’ve been told is that when you die, your life flashes before your eyes.

That’s almost correct.

The truth is…it’s not just your current life.

It’s all of them.

Max hardly remembers the fear, the pain, the cold of his draining. Even though he knew what was coming, bought into the cult, the human instinct of fight or flight is hard to dismiss no matter how well they’ve been prepped and it was to be expected. But it was a flash in the pan and once he came around to the undead side of things, those pesky human responses were all quickly forgotten.

For a time. Until he saw your light and–

Anyway. Human instincts. Pffft. Adorable. Trading the constant possibility of fear for that of glee, of rapture, of delight? Human instincts are trash. Not to mention their senses, poor suckers. The things they can’t see can’t hear can’t smell can’t taste? Tragic.

If only the feelings weren’t heightened too. It makes some things–some people–hard to ignore–

Feelings were something he could also have done without in his human life–the latest one anyway–and did whatever he could do to avoid.

It wasn’t until he died that he understood why.

As the life drained out of him and the delirium set in, there was a rushing sound, a pull through his soul like the drag of blood from his body, and he was laying, feeble, wailing, bloody and naked among the limbs of his mother.

But not the mother he so recently remembered, the one that showed her approval only when he provided her with some accomplishment worthy of crowing about to her society friends. No, this one was gentle, kind, held him and sang to him, lived her life for him until she died of fever when he was only five years old.

Max saw it all, from within himself and without, remembered the pull of his heart and watched the tears fall down his little face as they nailed his mother’s body in a pine box and put it in a hole at the top of a hill under a tree.

He always imagined he heard her singing to him in the grasses after that.

The world welcomed a new century, and not long afterward, he was a young man, looking to take over his father’s wine fields. But the chance was stolen when an archduke was shot. Max–Pierre, as he was called then–and all of the close friends and cousins he had were thrust into a great war. 

He was the only one to walk out of the fray. And when he came home, he found his father’s fields had been burned and that nothing remained.

That was a dark time. Ten years of looking back rather than looking forward. Ten years–it went by so fast–while he watched the world around him try to repair itself and find its footing again, not realizing that the roots of evil still grew beneath the soil.

He kept his head down and his hands working wherever he could.

But then he met a woman.

And she was Pierre’s life. Max’s life. Before he was Max.

It happened in the winter, just before Noël. And her name was Yaëlle.

Max remembered that before she even told him as he watched the story of this strange old life.

Yaëlle. It means “beautiful one.”

“It also means ‘goat,’” she’d said. “That seems more fitting.” She never thought of herself pretty, and perhaps she wasn’t fashionable and maybe she was stronger than she was dainty, with a weak chin and curly dark hair she couldn’t control. But the light in her eyes when she laughed–and what a laugh, like a little bird–the sway of her hips and the confidence in her carriage, her air of easy care and comfort caught his heart like a surly bear in the prettiest trap.

She’d simply been passing through the marché de Noēl, looking but not stopping, taking the kerchief off her head so the snow could land in her curls, when a child approached her selling buns in the shape of a cross and she gave the child a franc before sitting down at the statue of some cardinal or other in the center of the square.

She could have sat on any of the other benches, but she chose to plonk down next to Max. Next to Pierre.

“You want this?” she asked, offering the bun. “Not really my thing.”

How could she have known he was hungry? That he was lonely? That he was facing the market rather than the river because he was trying not to succumb to his inclinations, a pull to walk out onto the thin ice and let himself be taken by the stream?

He was instantly entranced by her. He felt himself smiling. Something shifted within. A destiny.

“You sure?” he asked.

She peered at him, scrutinized his whole self like she could see a glow around him and was looking for its source.

She found it in his eyes.

“Absolutely. I already ate three hand pies today. The last thing I need is more bread.”

He laughed for the first time in a long while. They talked. He ate.

On Christmas Eve when everyone was at the evening’s mass, she was there again, sitting alone, and this time it was he who had hot food and came to join her on the bench while the night was silent and cold and the stars were twinkling.

It was then that he learned why she was not in church–her folk did not observe Noēl. And she learned why he was not in church–he had lost his faith, that everyone he had ever loved was taken and there were not enough candles in the sanctuary to light for all of them.

“What if I lit one?” she’d asked.

“Who would you light it for?”

“For you. So you don’t have to sit in the dark.” When he was only silent, she said, “You fought in the Great War, didn’t you.” And when he looked away–when he shut her out–she continued. “My husband fought in that war. And he never could find his heart again. He said he loved me, but I don’t think he ever really did, not all the way. But I loved him all the way and when he put an end to his own life I thought I would have to do it too. Instead, I sat in the dark for a long time. It’s something I can see in a person. I can see you’re sitting in the dark.”

They stayed quiet for a time on the bench under the statue of the cardinal and when the church bells started to toll–signaling the magic of the empty square would soon be disrupted by the mass emptying into its streets–she stood and pulled her coat around her.

“My home is down that street, a little one with a red roof. It’s warm and I’ve plenty of hand pies--I made too many. I’ll leave a candle in the window until I’m asleep. You’re always welcome there, Max.”

And then she smiled and turned down the avenue where she’d pointed.

He blinked. Just before she reached the edge of the square he called out, “My name isn’t Max. It’s Pierre.”

She turned and gave a sly wink. “Good to know. I think once you get a belly full of my pies, you’ll let me call you whatever I want.”

He only sat long enough to watch the churchgoers file out of the holy service, many of them with people they loved, humming, happy, cheeks glowing in that way when one steps into a fresh cold world after being an hour or two soaking in the warmth. And once the square was empty again, he stood, gave only a fleeting look to the river, and then walked resolutely down Yaëlle’s street.

A little house with a red roof and a candle in the window.

He stayed for supper and came back many nights after.

And then one night he never left.

Max recalled the rest of that life with a lurking despair. While he couldn’t quite remember how it went, something in him carried it through to the life he’d just left…and he couldn’t pinpoint exactly what it was yet.

A few years of joy, of the greatest love he’d felt since his childhood. Like the mother he’d lost, another woman who was gentle, kind, held him and sang to him, lived her life for him until she couldn’t anymore.

They never celebrated Noël as the others did, but in their own way. For a handful of years they would go sit on the bench in the square and hand out pies to their neighbors and anyone who came to join them where they sat. They would listen to the singing in the church and watch the stars scintillate overhead. They would leave their shoes by the fireplace and wake up to find gifts they’d bought for each other with the little francs that they had. And they would never talk about what they would do in the future, because they knew it would be this and that’s all they aspired to and it would be a happy life.

And Max watched Pierre forget about the rot that still ran its roots through the soil.

And one day soldiers came to town when he was out in the fields and they took Yaëlle and some of the other dark-haired, joyful, bird-laughing folk about town and murdered them. By the time he returned for the evening, the soldiers had gone and left him nothing but a ravaged house and a body to bury.

There’s nothing he could have done, the mourning neighbors told him, the tide was rising. If he had fought them, they would have shot him too.

Pierre said that it would have been better that way.

Pierre stopped working in the fields when he started to hear his mother’s voice singing among the grasses again…now joined by Yaëlle’s sweet alto.

He had one more Noël in that life. He drank as much as he could take without falling over and stumbled out to sit on the bench in the square, weeping once the churchgoers had gone. He didn’t say a word, but Max remembered what Pierre was thinking then.

Love hurts too much. It is always taken. It’s not worth the trouble.

And then Pierre fell asleep on that bench and never woke up again.

There wasn’t much time between that first life and this one, maybe a few decades in the dark. Just long enough for a voice to reach him in the void–a voice he knew well and loved with his whole heart for only a short time–to say,

“That was a good first try, Max. Let’s give it another go, okay? Another place, another time, when it’s not so hard. I’ll leave a light on for you.”

____

Max’s life had been shorter this time. But he’d learned a thing or two and kept love at arm’s length. Sex was good and companionship was fine, but he wouldn’t invest in anything that could drain him in an instant and leave him destitute. 

Now power, that could fill the void. 

So when fortune smiled and he was given the choice, he swallowed hard and put his neck to the teeth, traded in his humanity for power that nobody could take away from him…and a heart that had no need for warmth.

He was wrong about that last point though.

And he didn’t even know it until he saw something that humans couldn’t see.

Heard something they couldn’t hear, a long ago and far away voice singing.

Smelled you on the wind.

Followed it to you–a woman, just another human woman–walking out of a bar along some street in the city.

And he saw a light glowing from within you.

You wore another face, another body, but all he saw was you.

Yaëlle.

Beautiful one.

He followed you that night, and several nights after. He was the reason that car swerved before it hit you, the reason you weren’t approached by that seedy guy at the club. He was the reason you kept looking behind you now and then and when you finally saw him–having dinner at the same restaurant, totally by coincidence, you on a friendly outing, him trying to charm a client into a contract–it broke his heart that you did not know him instantly.

He found he was surprised that he still had a heart to break. He’d been so fucking careful.

Max almost gave into the anger, the disappointment. Replayed the pathetic way Pierre let himself be brought down and tried to remind himself not to let himself be broken again.

But then he heard your voice in a way only those who walk in death can.

Let’s give it another go. I’ll leave a light on for you.

____

Heightened feeling is the one drawback of all this power. It’s one thing to latch onto a target, to fixate on some middle manager or accountant or IT specialist until there’s a good time to finally strike. That is an itch that can be satisfied with a well-timed, fear-seasoned, adrenaline-soaked kill.

But love sinks its fangs in and doesn’t let go. It sucks at something that can’t be drained, has no end, can never get enough. It can drive an immortal--a never-ending being of heightened existence--to madness.

There will come a day in the future when you’ll trust him for no good reason, when you’ll understand the monster he is and whisper under your breath against your better judgment, when you’ll invite him in. For dinner.

And he’ll come around again and again.

And then one day, he’ll stay.

And you’ll yawn ask him on the edge of sleep, “Why me? Of all these humans that you could easily enthrall and have without question, why choose this?”

Max will look at you in the darkness and see nothing but your light.

You won’t understand when he puts on a show of an irritated sigh and tells you, “You gave me another chance, sweetmeats,” but you’ll doze in his cold arms, absolutely confident as he is that nothing will ever hurt you again. Including himself.

And that night he’ll stay until you wake.

He won’t have you sit in the darkness alone.

_____

MASTERLIST

CHARACTER MASTERLIST

[egg-emperor]

It's unfortunate how people have forgotten how cool Eggman is lately. Like he isn't some innocent old man, or a soft wholesome dad, or goofy harmless clown, he hasn't been at any point in the games. He's genuinely super cool and badass but it's being downplayed in favor of presenting him as some silly harmless docile domestic old man

I genuinely see him reduced to things like "silly angry dad" in those posts about summarizing Sonic characters for example- and despite it being a joke (one that really misunderstands his character), it does seem it's all the majority of fandom sees him as now. It's sad when you want to appreciate the cool stuff but nobody around you seems to like it or care

Now he's mostly treated like he's just a guy who doesn't really want to be evil and is actually innocent or excusable, or wants to be a villain but he's hardly one and is just very silly and not a threat at all (that's Boom Egg not game Egg), or is just A Dad to all the characters and an uncharacteristically perfect one at that. But man I just like him as he is in game

He's a villainous egotistical scientific genius, a dangerous destructive diabolical world conquering threat! He has dark intentions and builds epic machines, has thrilling intense violent fights with enemies, is selfish, threatening and murderous, commits world shattering atrocities, enjoys being terrible and causing trouble!

One of the ways he's most entertaining is through all the crazy diabolical shit he does! He's responsible for tons of the coolest moments in the series and many of the stories wouldn't even happen without him and his schemes! A lot of his charm and charisma is in the way he thrives as a villain with his showmanship, dramatics, and passion

His determination to keep trying to reach his goals and not let anyone stop him is a strength and admirable, it's not something he needs to give up and become good and sit around doing nothing like in Frontiers forever. His agency, security, and genuine confidence in himself and is villain is great and he doesn't need to lose it

Both his creativity and how fucked up he is shows in his awesome destructive robots, weapons, and dangerous theme parks and that makes it so fun and fascinating. His qualities and what makes him entertaining and admirable are all in his villainy, showing not in silly cute harmless ways but thrilling entertaining badass ways which is great

The way he's selfish, manipulative, dangerous, and lethal makes him an exciting threat and results in shocking and impactful moments in the series when other characters are affected by his harmful actions. It also makes him and his mind interesting to dig into and explore to understand his mindset and what makes him tick too

He wants to conquer the world, make everything about him with the entire world changed and built in his superior image with his logo on everything, and rule a glorious empire full of crazy creative deadly theme parks and robots, where everybody is forced to worship and serve. And he'll raise hell and cause mass amounts of destruction to get it

He builds dangerous destructive violent robots and traps poor critters inside and theme parks designed to kill you that throws you off the coasters, tries to wipe out cities, blows up government facilities, blows up half the moon and threatens to destroy the world next, holds people hostage sometimes with a gun to head, literally broke the world apart, and awakens terrifying eldritch horror monsters to use in his plans and will fight to the death to accomplish his goals and much much more

THAT'S COOL AS FUCK

It makes me more sad than angry that this isn't recognized, appreciated, and explored by more fans and people don't get that. I just want to find more people who enjoy this and are fascinated by this and want to talk about and explore this as much as I do but most people hardly ever really give it much thought. I only know a very small amount of people who actually talk about what Eggman does in the games at all, even though everything he does is badass and exciting and deserves so much more attention

Eggman is FUCKING AWESOME and I'm always going to emphasize and appreciate that here 💜🥚

[kayhi808]

Darkling's Pet - 4

Previous

Nataliya's spent hours riding off the main paths. Trying to keep hidden from the more devious & dangerous travelers you might come across in the middle of the night. Also thinking to avoid any of Kirigan's trackers he may have dispatched, if he noticed her missing. It would be especially dangerous to be a Greisha traveling alone so she left her Kefta in the Dark General's tent. Her heart breaks at the thought of all the lives lost. It still feels like she's living a nightmare.

She understands the war. She's aware of the atrocities committed against her people. She's a part of the Second Army. She wants to stop the attacks of the Frejdan against her Greisha. But tonight, Kirigan took her gift to incite such anger and rage in his troops. She didn't even know her gift could be used like that. She saw with her own eyes the needless slaughter of dozens of children, toddlers & infants. Defenseless women and elderly were at the mercy of the troops. Murdered. All on the orders of the man she loved, General Kirigan.

She believed him to be fair & just. War was not an easy thing, but he was a good leader. He shouldered the responsibility with quiet dignity. She was drawn to his dark good looks at first. Then his sad smiles, twisted at her soul. She loved bringing a true smile to his face. To make him laugh, it transformed the serious General into a young man enjoying time spent with his love.

Nataliya has never known a love like his. He was an overwhelming force in her life. Swept up in his sweet words. Wanting to believe they were soulmates. He kept her at his side, making many women, as well as men, at court jealous. Countless evenings spent wrapped up in each other. His body commanding hers to match him in the passion he would ignite.

He was so confident in his hold over her. Part love & now fear. He thought sex and sweet promises would make her forget the terrible things he's capable of. To him, she was nothing but a woman, easily manipulated. Easy to use. "Say that you are mine, little Zaya," he hisses in her ear. His fingers entwined with hers, pinned above her head. His hips continuing to rock against hers. His cock dragging against her tight walls, edging her until she promises love & obedience.

******

The metal door scrapes against the stone floor of Nataliya's cell, well below the Little Palace. The screech ricochets through her head. So weary and exhausted, she doesn't even bother to open her eyes. Is this another nightmare? Is this real life? Whatever threat is coming her way, she welcomes it. Anything to end her misery.

"Tsk, tsk, tsk. Poor, Zaya," the General croons to her. A whimper escapes from her dry cracked lips. The nightmares visited by the General are always the worst. Was it going to be painful punishments or sweet words & gentle hands that she knew where false.

Warmth. The General places a warm dry hand against her forehead. Her skin cold & clammy. "You have no one to blame but yourself." Trying to turn her face into his warm hand, her whimpers turn into soft sob as he pulls away from her. "I gave you so much. And how do you repay me? Hmmm?" Nataliya tries to curl tighter into herself, anticipating the beating that would follow.

"Answer me!" She can hear his bootsteps pacing the length of the small cell. "You run. You abandon your fellow Greisha. You become a deserter. Treasonous!" His pacing stops, "Do you know how we deal with deserters?"

Just do it!! Nataliya silently screams this in her head. Exhausted, she wants this to all end. She prays to the Saints for death.

"You ran from ME, Nataliya. You abandoned ME." She hears the break in his voice. She feels his breath against her face & she flinches. "You promised me love. We were soulmates, destined. I waited an eternity for you." His warm hand caresses her cheek this time. Warmth. It travels to cup her chin, "Look at me, Zaya," he softly whispers.

She opens her eyes and even though the light is dim, she's been in pitch black for ...she doesn't know how long, she squints trying to adjust. Her Dark General. So beautiful. His mournful dark eyes meet her gaze. "I gave you my love. And this is how you repay me? You lie to me and abandon me."

I...I...I did. I promised him. Her sobbing turns to crying.

"Did I not give you everything you could have ever wanted? All you had to do was ask and it was yours."

"Do you prefer this life? Down here?" His hand quickly jerks to the side and she hears loud squealing. Screaming. It must be coming from a rat in her cell. "Is this what you want?!"

Nataliya breaks down into loud hysterical sobs. Shaking her head in the negative. "P...please. I'm s...sorry." She hears a crunch and then silence from the rat. Kirigan tosses it to the side and grabs Nataliya trying to sit her up from her place on the floor. Her begging and crying increases. He's touching her with the hand he killed the rat with. She wants to start screaming, too.

"Swear to me that you will obey. Swear it!" He gives her a harsh shake. "Swear it, or I will leave you down here. I will not let you escape in death. I will tie you down and let those rats feast on you. Then I'll have your healers come down here..."

"I swear! I swear! I'll be good. I'll be so good. Please!" He releases her, letting her cry. He leans up against the opposite wall watching. Her hiccups finally stop and her voice is hoarse. "F..forgive me. I'll obey. I promise. Please, General. I'm so so sorry."

He walks to the door where she only now notices Ivan, the General's Heartrenderer. Ivan walks towards her, and her world goes black.

*****

Wrapped in a blanket, so not to be touched by her filth, Ivan dumps Nataliya's body on an exam table in the infirmary. "Heal her and clean her up. The General will be by for her later."

@arwensloanebarnes @imagine-a-fictional-boyfriend @e-dubbc11 @k-marzolf @snowkestrel @terry2227 @jvanilly

[aikoiya]

LoZ LU - Fierce Daddy

My hc? Fierce would see each & every one of the Links as his sons & every last Zelda (minus Sun) as his daughters.

However, more so in a spiritual sense.

This is based upon the hc that FD is who First was before he was First & the hc that he & Hylia were married.

However, he's stoic, very quiet, & somber. And he sometimes experiences PTSD. This is because, in my hc, he too was a protector much like the Links.

The difference is that while the Links typically (side-eyes Legend) only get a max of 2-3 adventures, then they just go about their lives. FD was on his "adventure" for, quite possibly, thousands of years with very few breaks.

This is, in the end, why he is the way he is.

Before that, he was generally a very soft-spoken, shy, introverted, gentle boy. Now, he's still quiet, but in a cold way. He can also be vindictive, harsh, & blunt.

Despite this, in his very being, he is a compassionate & empathetic person who hurts deeply when innocents are made victims of injustice. Underneath his aloof persona is someone who puts others first before himself.

The thing is that Demise had only just been repelled temporarily by the Golden 3 & several other deities, including Hebrogar, Sheikaku's father, & it'd left them sapped & the first patron deity of the land had disappeared. It was theorized that Demise had murdered him. (The theory is incorrect.)

But anyway, Demise had begun to kill mortals as bloodsport & to corrupt those that swore fealty to him.

The Golden Land became tarnished as the Monster General raped & pillaged & murdered & even cannibalized the people of the land.

And after he was sent packing for the first time, FD, Sheikaku, was named the next patron. The reason being that he was one of the only deities that didn't have a significant position in any other pantheon yet & none of the other ones seemed willing to touch the once Golden Land for fear of the Daiyōkai returning & making an example out of them.

And when FD realized this, he volunteered to be the next patron.

No one told him that he had to do this. It wasn't thrust upon him or spoonfed to him about it being destiny or his responsibility. Nobody even suggested that he do so. More so, he saw the chaos around him, saw that no one else was stepping up, & he decided that it may as well be him.

Unfortunately, he had to learn very quick that words wouldn't always be enough. Oh, he'd tried, but the longer he did not act, the more monsters, yōkai, & even Demise's mortal followers began to commit more atrocities upon innocents.

While his father, Hebrogar, had trained him to fight & protect himself, he'd never had to kill a person & the very idea galled him. But his people were dying & he was doing nothing... So, he took up his sword & forged himself into a weapon of both protection & just retribution; a Daikishin (Sheikah) or Dāvoh'lawàr (Gerudo), a wrathful god who visits just vengeance upon those who have wronged innocents. However, he does so without being guided by hate.

Although, the act of doing so. Of killing so many thinking beings, even wicked ones, took its toll on him.

He spent the next few thousand years cleaning out the evil from the land.

And as he traveled across the Golden Land, he also put to rest the souls of the dead & delivered them to the Beckonwyld (my hc of the Hyrulean afterlife). This typically involved the use of a song he'd created called the Song of Healing. However, that didn't always mean that it was always peaceful. There were times when the souls became corrupted by their own On'nen & manifested bodies from it to become Poes, which Sheikaku would then need to either soothe or put down with his Nijūrasen Zanbatō.

He became exactly what his current title implies, a Fierce Deity. A being inspired by the Japanese Kishin & the Buddhist Pāla, specifically the Dharma Pāla. Even more specifically, Yama. He became outwardly cold, ferocious, & vindictive towards his enemies. He became a god of war, retribution, death, spirits, twilight, & the moon. A figure of divine judgment.

He was deeply feared.

Yet despite this, he somehow managed to retain his compassionate & loving heart, though now it was hardened & scarred by trauma, as well as hidden behind walls.

However, at his very core, he is extremely Ashitaka-coded (from Princess Mononoke). He always does only what he believes is necessary, but at every chance he gets, if he sees a way to get peace, he will choose that. Like, he will choose to fight & defend himself, but he refuses to do so with hate in his heart. Which... is very difficult to do because... that's how he started out...

He used to get so angry over what was being done to his people... but as time passed, he learned that all this did was cause more pain, so he began to train himself in restraint & emotional control.

His family helped a lot with this. His father especially, who taught him the most about emotional control & resilience. About stoicism in the face of tribulation. If not for him, Sheikaku may have become like Demise...

He is also very no-nonsense & ever so slightly autism-coded in a similar way to how Ashitaka is.

Remember, he's witnessed the absolute worst of humanity over & over, repeatedly for thousands of years with only brief glimpses of light.

Problem is, due to his new reputation as a terrifying avenger, his fellow deities began to fear that he'd become another Demise &, honestly... he didn't blame them. His first couple hundred years as the patron certainly didn't do him many favors. (Though, such a fear was unfounded.)

Despite everything, he stepped down willingly as patron, but continued to protect the mortals of the Golden Land even after Hylia had been appointed because it was no longer just his responsibilty or duty. While yes, he only got brief glimpses of light & most of the time he was facing down humanity's worst... those brief instances shone bright like stars in the abyss of the night. He had come to love the land & it's people. He wanted to see them prosper...

It was at this point that Demise began to show his ugly mug again, but this time, he was beaten back every time by Sheikaku. Which... was astounding considering how it took the Golden 3 plus other deities to fight him back last time... Not that it was ever easy...

In the beginning, Hylia too feared him, but as time passed & she realized that he never once harmed any of her wards, she began to realize that he was more than what people assumed. Which, she hoped was the case as she missed her old friend.

She became curious &... over time... something blossomed between them.

Eventually, they wed (he made her the Goddess Harp as a wedding present) & she & FD created the Hylians & the Sheikah in conjunction, thus making the 2, sister peoples.

They then placed a sort of boon upon them that made it so that should one of the 2 peoples ever die out, the other would begin to bring more into the world.

This explains how the Sheikah always come back from what appears to be extinction.

But, moving on. FD designed a sacred weapon, a sword, that he hoped would protect his wife & their people, & possibly kill Demise once & for all. As a god of the forge of the Golden Land's pantheon & an experienced master blacksmith (among many other things), with the right materials, the correct magical infusions, & the appropriate runes, the weapon could do the job.

However, before he could begin to make it, Demise resurfaced, more powerful than ever. More than Sheikaku could handle on his own this time.

His mind scrambled for a moment before a calm came over him & his resolve steeled. FD gave the blueprints to Hylia, trusting her wisdom & skill in forging (which he'd taught her). Despite knowing how to do it, she was neither a master nor a goddess of the forge & thus, the resulting sword would not be nearly enough to end the bastard. (Though, just being a goddess with an amateur's level of forging skill still counted as a master work among mortals.) In normal circumstances, the best option would've been to have either Din or Hebrogar forge it, but both were still recovering from forcing Demise back before. So, Hylia could only follow their advice.

Either way, Sheikaku chose to fight Demise, & after informing his wife of his current plan & his back-up plan in case everything went to absolute shit, held the Daimaō off for weeks while Hylia forged the Goddess Sword.

But in the end, it wasn't soon enough to save FD.

The god of war & retribution knew that he was dying, but rather than simply fade away, he decided that he would do something that no other deity known to their world had. As his life slipped away from him, he could see above him the cosmic forces that called him to them. Because deities don't reincarnate upon death, they just join the universe & another takes their place. But, then he looked down & saw Samsara spinning below him like a carousel of colors. He thought to himself that he did not know whether or not his successor would be up to the task thrust upon them. They could fail. And all that they'd worked for would die...

Decision made, Sheikaku once more steeled his resolve & looked upon that which so many of his kind saw as a wheel of endless suffering & plunged into its terrible, wonderful, confusing rapids that immediately pulled him under. Giving up his godhood & willingly entering the reincarnation cycle. For he knew that the Triforce would not work for a deity & as of that moment, it was the best hope that his wife, his family, his people, had.

Needless to say, Sheikaku has a lot of issues & traumas to work through.

Though, despite all this, he would absolutely rend the flesh from the bones of ANYONE who dared harm the Links or the Zeldas.

He has... mixed feelings about Sky because of the fact that he & Sun are together. Though, not because of anything Sky did. It's just the fact that Sun remembers... Which is not something that was supposed to happen. (Forget the fact that he hadn't expected her to follow him.)

The whole point of reincarnation is to start over. So, remembering your previous life was kind of counterintuitive &... well... Sheikaku missed his wife...

It was like being put into a coma only to wake up & learn that your wife had been told you were dead & gotten married again during that time... In a lot of ways, Sheikaku felt left behind even though, logically, he knew that Sky was one of his reincarnations.

Feelings don't always make sense.

LoZ Linked Universe Masterlist

[crowpolitics]

Lol, okay, so the previous blog responded to me saying they don't know what a genocide is by calling me a dipshit and an antisemite. Specifically, they said:

"I know what a genocide is, you dipshit, I think you need to brush up on the actual definition. All bad things do not always have the same name. What’s happening in Gaza can be horrific without it being a genocide. Begone, antisemite."

However, reblogs appear to be turned off so I can't respond to that... so... here's what my response would have been I guess?

Well that escalated quickly. I know what genocide is, too, thanks. You are correct that not all things that are bad are also a genocide, but when Israeli officials are outright saying their plans are to flatten a region and everyone in it, that's pretty telling, and doesn't even begin to get into the "soft" methods of genocide they have been employing, alongside the killings, for decades.

This century long genocide has brought about horrific amounts of islamophobia and antisemitism on pretty much all sides, with people either spouting bigotry out of ignorance or because they are bigots and are using these atrocities to justify their views. The existence of bigotry does not negate the existence of genocide (please see pretty much every genocide that has ever occurred - while my primary case studies were Bosnia and Rwanda, I am pretty confident in saying that).

You said in another comment to someone else, "Literally there are specific and quantifiable thresholds that have to be hit in order for it to be considered genocide. The situation in Palestine, while awful, does not meet those thresholds. There are likely far-right individuals in the Israeli gov’t that may WANT a genocide, but the actual military action currently happening is not one at this time. So by calling the current situation a genocide, people are watering down the term and are diminishing the horrors occurring in actual CURRENTLY ONGOING genocides in other parts of the world."

This suggests to me that OP only understands the first part of the definition of genocides, the part that discusses the method that uses death. That leaves out the "soft" definition, however, which describes all of the other methods. Not to say the Israel hasn't also been using the "hard" method - intentionally slaughtering families, neighborhoods, and towns to eradicate as many Palestinians at once as possible, but they have most definitely been using those "soft" methods as well.

I'm used to having to argue that part of the definition to people who don't know the definition is, so it's odd to see someone acknowledge the atrocities that are occurring, claim to know what the definition of genocide is, and then just bury their head in the sand.

OP also stated that the reason this can't call this a genocide is that Hamas is not an ethnic group, which completely ignores that Hamas is a resistance/ terrorist group that rose out of a century long genocide and the Israeli government has said on numerous occasion over the last century that their end goal is not the eradication of Hamas but of Palestine. Given Hamas came out only a few decades ago and this has been going on for much longer than that, this is a really asinine take.

The one argument that people on the "this is not a genocide" can potentially lay claim to is the intent clause. This meets every other part of the definition as described in the UN's convention on genocide, with intent always being the hardest part to prove - and why the international community has Never intervened until it was too late to make much of a difference, or until after it was already over.

Of course, given the government has been just saying the quiet part out loud since... well, the beginning, I would argue this is also a pretty clear case. They have stated on dozens of occasions - in interviews, in letters/ correspondence, in memos, etc - their intent to eradicate the people living their to make way for settlements.

You can't argue against the methods that have been used for a century, you can't argue against the documentation they have not tried very hard to hide, and frankly I don't really understand why you would.

Anyways, TLDR: what's happening in Palestine is a genocide, as per the UN's convention on genocide and according to pretty much every genocide scholar for the last century. I highly recommend people at the very least read the convention before talking about genocides - it's a baseline, but it's probably the best place to start, given it's the basis for the international law surrounding genocide.

And, referring to the original point of the post that this all spawned out of, USAmericans who chose not to vote this election are fucking awful and should feel ashamed for their actions. They have made a choice that allowed a racist, homophobic, islamophobic, antisemite to take control of our government and I hope they sit in that shame.

I hope it twists in your stomach, and you fucking do something to help put out this fire you helped spread. After all, the whole reason you decided to surrender one of the few tools you have in this democracy was to help Palestinians, right? Hope you have a plan to do just that.

[springfallendeer]

Edible Atrocities - Naga (With Extras)

@saburo-kyoto Very lovely suggestion!

There is quite a bit here so I apologize for the lengthy read

Culinary Subject: Naga

Naga are distant cousins of the better known Lamia. These two serpentine species share enough of a genetic relation to allow interbreeding, which creates the sexually viable Lamkompra (Half-breeds which combine traits of both parent species).

Naga are a race of humanoid serpents. They sport a humanoid upper body (at least in shape) and move about on a serpent tail. They can slither at a reasonable pace, but when feeling the need to rush, it is not uncommon for them to utilize the use of their muscular arms to propel themselves forward at heightened speed.

Where the Lamia have upper bodies that perfectly mirror the appearance of human women, save for slightly pointed ears and unusual looking eyes, the Naga do not have that luxury. Their upper bodies, while humanoid in shape, are covered in scales. Their heads also better resemble that of the Cobra, right on down to the presence of the elaborate frilled hood that the serpents are best known for.

Unlike their cousins the Lamia, the Naga come in both male and female variants (with the females being noticeably larger due to a wonderful thing called sexual dimorphism). They come in a range of colors and patterns, with different social groups generally sharing a similar appearance.

They are incredibly venomous and capable of easily hypnotizing the average human, thus making them risky to approach. However, as a high-intellect "human adjacent" race, they can be safely interacted with if approached respectfully.

Contrary to common stereotypes, the Naga are not an inherently hostile race which preys upon humans. They are simply a race of creatures which largely seeks to protect their home and territory from unwelcomed invading forces, which has likewise led to many conflicts due to humans competing with them for resources.

The majority of the conflicts between humans and Naga are founded upon the the false belief that humans can simply stake claim to whatever resources they happen across out in the wilderness; regardless of the presence of native creatures which might be equally reliant on those resources.

Author Notes: As a rule of thumb, my associates and I prefer not to hunt creatures that are considered "Human adjacent". That being any race of human intellect (or greater) that is capable of producing sexually viable young with humans.

However, there are rare circumstances in which a Naga establishes themselves to be enough of a threat that execution is warranted, at which point the edible parts are harvested and any inedible remains are respectfully disposed of.

In most cases though, the tail of the Naga can be obtained without dealing lethal damage to individual.

This does not mean that the process is pleasant, as the tail is most often severed in the midst of fierce combat or in response to extreme stress. It is not dropped like the tails of many lizards, and legitimately requires effort in order to break off.

That aside, the Naga are adapted to allow them to safely lose up to a third of their tail without enduring serious damage. This is an adaptation that has been present in the species for a while, likely as a byproduct of their own cultural behaviors, as well as the need to escape capture from other races. Better to willingly disconnect a few pounds of flesh than to lose ones own life, after all. Especially when that flesh can be recovered over the course of a couple of years.

Recipe Index:

Snake Cheese

The many uses of Naga tail

Bonus subject: Mandragora

Mandragora

Mandragora Bulbs

Bonus subject: True Slime

Slime essence

/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\

Naga Recipes

Snake Cheese: A naturally soft and spreadable cheese with a distinct flavor. Tangy, with faint buttery notes and a hint of toasted pistachios. Pairs wonderfully with smoked meats and sweet jams! Can be enhanced through the addition of herbs and spices.

You will need: - 1 gallon milk (preferably cows milk) - 1 ounce Naga venom - 1 tablespoon salt Equipment: - A large pot - Leather gloves - A wooden mixing spoon - A large bowl - Cheesecloth

Before you begin to prepare this recipe, be sure that you have collected a fresh sample of Naga venom (which is generally easy to obtain. I've found that they find it amusing that I use their venom to make cheese) and a suitable place to store your cheese while it ferments.

To prepare a batch of Snake cheese, you begin by pouring 1 gallon of fresh milk into a suitably sized pot. Place that pot over a low flame, and carefully bring the milk to a low simmer while mixing continuously. Do not boil.

Continue to simmer the milk for a period of 1 to 2 minutes, then swiftly remove the pot from the flame.

Take your ounce of Naga venom and pour into the milk. (Be mindful not to spill any on yourself, as the venom is quite hazardous. If it gets into a cut, it can lead to rapid rotting of the surrounding tissues, and if it somehow finds its way into the eyes it can lead to permanent blindness without swift intervention.)

You should notice that the milk immediately begins to curdle. This is what you want! Stir the curdled milk for upwards of a minute, before removing your utensil entirely.

Sprinkle in your salt then allow your cheese mixture to sit undisturbed for no less than ten minutes (the Naga venom is most potent at this time).

Once the appropriate amount of time has passed, dawn your protective gloves.

Arrange your cheese cloth so that it wraps around the interior of the bowl. Leave enough extended along the rim for you to easily grab. Then carefully spoon your cheese mixture into the bowl.

At this stage, it will be very gelatinous due to retained moisture. This is normal. Just be sure to get all of the solids out of the pot.

Once you have completely isolated your cheese mixture, carefully take the outer edges of the cheesecloth and twist until you have formed a tight ball.

Quite a bit of whey will drain as you do this. Be mindful not to spill any on your clothes, as the venom is still active and could lead to injury.

Secure this tight ball of cheese with a knot and hang it over the bowl. Be sure not to hang it high enough that dripping whey will splash, but not so low that it could come into contact with anything in the bowl.

Leave the cheese alone like this for 24 hours. Do not touch or disturb it during this time while it drains and undergoes its first stage of fermentation.

While the cheese is resting, now is the time to begin disposing of any liquid left behind in the pot.

Do not drink this liquid. Do not get it on your skin. Do not dump it into an accessible water supply. Do not pour it into the dirt.

To safely dispose of this envenomed whey, take the mixture and bring it back to a full bowl. Then allow the mixture to boil down until it has become a thick sludge that coats the bottom of the pot.

Mix ashes into this sludge, and then bury it. The heat from the prolonged boil will have destroyed most of the enzymes in the venom, while the ashes with neutralize anything that is left.

Be sure to thoroughly clean your pot and cooking utensils once done. Wash it at least three times to assure than any remaining venom has been completely washed away.

After allowing your cheese to sit for at least 24 hours, all excess whey should have successfully drained. Dispose of this whey the same way that you disposed of the whey from the pot, or pour directly into a raging fire and trust that the flames will destroy the venom.

From here, all that you must do is wait.

Store your cheese in a cool, dry place and wait for a period of 6 to 10 weeks while the enzymes in the venom slowly process the milk solids.

The cheese will not be safe to eat unless aged for the minimum of 6 weeks. Any fermentation past that point will simply act as a means of further aging the cheese, which allows it to develop a more intense flavor.

Once the fermentation process is up, you will be left with a delightfully soft cheese that spreads like thick butter. It can be eaten as is, or combined with various herbs, spices, or even fruit in order to promote a desired flavor.

The resulting cheese, without additional flavorings, tastes vaguely of butter and has a noticeable acidic note to it. The aftertaste is comparable to toasted pistachios. It is quite pleasant.

-------------------------------------------------------------------------

- The MANY uses of Naga Tail -

Obtaining the tail of a Naga can be quite risky. Those seeking to legitimately hunt these creatures must take care to properly prepare themselves. Venom resistant potions are a must and hypnosis-resistant gear is greatly advised. As is durable metal armor if one wishes to avoid being potentially crushed by the powerful muscles of these giant snakes.

A mixture of sharp and blunt weapons will work best at dispatching a Naga if the ultimate goal is to take their life. Using blunt weapons to deliver powerful strikes to the head and chest can incapacitate a Naga, whereas the sharp instruments will make delivering the lethal blows easy enough. Just be sure to thoroughly restrain or otherwise dismantle the head and jaw of the serpent, as it retains the ability to fight for days after battle even if disconnected from the body.

Those who seek to obtain a tail through less lethal means may find themselves having an easier time. Certain tribes are willing to trade hefty portions of their own flesh if offered valuable resources, like metal. Others will only part with their tail if first defeated in battle, in which case you must be prepared for a fight if seriously looking to sample this particular type of meat.

During certain times of the year, particularly around mating season or during periods where rites of passage are due to take place, these tails can be more easily obtained.

During the mating season, males often lose portions of their tail while competing for the attention of females. Juveniles of both sexes often lose their tail when fighting for the right to reach adult status.

During these points in time, the Nagas will generally be willing to sell these disembodied tails for a fair price. They can be obtained through bartered trade or through legitimate sale. This will be the safest means of obtaining the meat of a Naga, though visitors must be warned that they are expected to respect the culture of their hosts.

Any perceived as being disrespectful may find themselves being put up on the menu if they fail to plead their case.

The flesh of a Naga's tail is dense and loaded with intramuscular fat. It responds well to a wide array of cooking methods, though some methods will require more prep work than others.

The meat itself falls somewhere between red and white meat, being naturally dark-pink in hue when raw and turning a lighter shade of pink when cooked. The texture is closest to that of pork, and in terms of flavor it is surprisingly neutral.

Unseasoned, browned meat tastes similar to chicken. If unseasoned meat is prepared in a way that does not allow it to brown, then it will not develop much of a flavor and will wind up unpalatable as a result.

The meat of the Naga must be adequately seasoned and great care must be put into preparing the meat in order to assure that a recipe comes out as delicious as it should. While this will take effort, the end result is well worth the time put into each dish.

-------------------------------------------------------------------------

Naga Tail (Smoked): A wonderfully tender portion of smoked meat, given a great amount of flavor using various seasons. Perfect as a quick snack or as an addition to a wide range of dishes! Can be used to make sandwiches, added to pasta to add flavor, or even mixed into scrambled eggs to create a hearty breakfast - and so much more!

Comes in lightly sweetened and traditional varieties.

You will need: - 5 pounds of Naga tail meat - 1 tablespoon each of Salt, Pepper, Garlic, and water - 1 tablespoon each of Brown sugar, citrus fruit (the zest and the juice), and optional ginger (for a sweet smoked meat)

- 1 tablespoon each of Mustard, vinegar, onion, and paprika (for a more traditionally flavored smoked meat) Equipment: - Metal smoking rack with a cage - Suitable smoking wood - Knife and cutting board - Large bowl - Measuring utensils

To begin, prepare a suitable place to build your fire and assure that the weather will be clear for the day. You will not want to prepare this recipe on a windy day or on a day where rain is a potential risk factor.

Once your fire is built, move on to the next step.

Prepare your portion of the meat. You can use a sharp knife to remove the skin and scales, and this can be done fairly easily. Simply press the tip of the knife into the exposed flesh where the tail was disconnected from the body. Insert about an inch, and then cut upward to create a break in the skin. Once the break is present, you will be able to easily work your fingers between the skin and the meat. All that you will need to do from there is pull. The skin will peel right off!

If needed, you can also cut along each side of the break to create loose flaps. This will make keeping a good grip on the skin much easier.

As a full tail segment from a Naga will generally weigh somewhere between 125 to 175 pounds (nearly a third of the average weight of a Naga), it is recommended to not peel back more of the skin than is needed to expose your desired portion of the meat. The skin helps keep preserve the flesh and prevents decay from setting in, for a time.

Once you have the flesh exposed, find the space between two segments of the tail vertebrate and jam your knife into it to break the bone. This will allow you to easily cut away your desired portion of flesh.

You will also want to cut out and remove any bones that are found throughout the meat. The tail will most often contain a portion of the Nagas spine, and each segment of the spine is in turn supported by a pair of arched, rib-like structures.

If your tail does not appear to have the spine or ribs but instead seems to be supported by thick bands of tough red tissue, then you're in for a treat. You have the tail of a Naga that has already shed its tail in the past, and so the flesh is younger by comparison. The meat will be even more tender than usual once the recipe has been completed.

These bands of tough tissue will need to be removed though as they are not suitable for human consumption.

Once your tail meat has been cleared of any inedible bones or tissues, it is ready to be smoked.

To prepare your seasoning mixture, combine all of the desired ingredients into a large bowl and mix them together thoroughly. The end result should be something of a runny paste. One that easily coats your fingers in an even layer without bunching up or clumping.

Once this seasoning paste is ready, place your chunk of meat into the bowl. Roll the meat around while using your hands to rub the seasoning into the muscle fibers. Do not be afraid to use force. You, quite literally, need to massage the meat. One that is done, then you must allow the meat rest for ten minutes.

Repeat the seasoning massage twice more, allowing the meat to rest ten minutes between each session. This will allow the seasoning to permeate the flesh, and assures that very little will be wasted.

Once your meat has been thoroughly seasoned and massaged, you will notice that it has softened as a result. That is the value of a good massage!

With your seasoning now ready, secure your tail meat within the confines of the smoking cage. Use skewers or cooking thread as needed if the meat does not properly fit inside. Then hang the meat up on the rack.

For the next six hours, your only ambition in life is to maintain your fire so that your meat will cook.

Rotate the meat every thirty to forty five minutes to assure that the heat is evenly spread. This also allows for the creation of an almost charred crust, which is absolutely packed with flavor. This crust prevents excess liquid from escaping the meat, which in turn keeps the meat moist.

Once this six hour smoking period is done, remove the smoking cage from the rack and set in a sanitary environment.

Do not attempt to remove the meat from the cage for at least two hours. Do not attempt to cut into the meat for at least four. This will assure that the meat has the chance to settle and properly absorb the flavorful juices that it would lose if cut too early. Thus you will prevent the meat from going dry by letting it rest before you dig in.

Once all of this is done, then you will be free to indulge in this delicacy.

-------------------------------------------------------------------------

Naga Tail (Grilled): Succulent meat with a delightfully savory taste. Tender, but firm enough to awaken the dormant carnivorous urges that hide within us all. Simple and easy to make.

You will need: - 1 pound Naga tail meat - 1 teaspoon each of salt, pepper, garlic, onion, and paprika - Parsley and/or chives, to taste - The juice of 1 orange - Oil Equipment: - Knife and cutting board - Grilling stand - Grilling utensils, like tongs or a carving fork - Measuring utensils - Large bowl

To begin, prepare your grilling station. Build a suitably sized fire and allow your standing grill to heat up. Be sure to season thoroughly with oil to assure that your meat will not stick!

Once your grilling station is ready, prepare your portion of the meat. For instructions on how to cut a portion of the tail for consumption, refer to the previous recipe. Just note that removing the bones will be optional for this recipe, as the meat is going to be moved around quite a bit and the bones will provide support.

Once you have the tail meat, place it in a large bowl. Squeeze in or otherwise add the juice of 1 whole orange. Massage the juice into the meat, then allow to sit for fifteen minutes while the acid in the orange juice does its magic.

When that is done, measure out all of the listed seasonings and add them to the bowl.

Massage the meat again. Thoroughly. Be sure to get the spices evenly distributed across every nook and cranny that exists upon the flesh. Apply a little oil to the meat if needed to help assure that nothing is left unseasoned.

After your meat has been thoroughly prepared, you're ready to grill.

Take the tail meat and place directly on top of your grilling rack. Allow to sit undisturbed for two minutes, then flip and grill for another two minutes.

From here, continue to grill for another ten minutes, flipping every one and a half to two minutes. As you do this, the meat will develop lovely grill marks and a nice char, which will just add to the flavor.

When the meat is cooked through and the outside is nicely seared, remove from the heat. Allow to rest for at least ten minutes to assure that the meat can baste in its own internal juices. Sprinkle with fresh herbs, then enjoy!

Can be eaten by itself, though it will pair wonderfully with roasted vegetables or fresh greens!

-------------------------------------------------------------------------

Naga Tail (Braised): Looking for something reminiscent of pulled pork, but don't have access to pork? This is the recipe for you! A long cooking time in a flavorful cooking liquid allows all of the intramuscular fat of the tail meat to melt away, leaving behind an addictively savory treat.

You will need: - 5 pounds Naga tail meat - 2 onions, quartered - 1 bulb garlic, roasted - 2 large carrots, grated - 2 cups beer or ale of your choice - 1 cup apple cider vinegar - 2 tablespoons each ground mustard seed, paprika, chili powder, salt, and pepper - Half a cup brown sugar Equipment: - Large braising dish with a lid - Knife and cutting board - Cheese grater - Measuring instruments - Large bowl - Whisk

Note: This recipe is best prepared in an oven, though it can be prepared over a campfire. The process will just be more tedious.

This recipe requires a fair amount of prep work. There are multiple vegetables that must be thoroughly cleaned and cut.

The carrots must be peeled and grated.

The onions must have their inedible outer skins removed and they must be quartered.

The garlic, of which you will be using an entire bulb, must be carefully roasted until fragrant and soft. To properly roast your garlic, you can cut off the top portion and slather liberally with oil. Place the bulb in a small dish with a lid, and cook over low heat for 45 minutes to an hour. The resulting product can be easily squeezed from the skin, directly into the main dish.

Additionally, the spices are best if fresh ground, but pre-ground will be fine.

To begin, heat your cooking area. Preferably an oven. A campfire will suffice in a pinch.

Prepare your portion of tail meat. Refer to the recipe for "Smoked Naga Tail" for an in-depth explanation of how to easily remove a chunk of flesh from the tail segment. Be sure to debone.

Place the tail meat directly into a deep braising dish. If the lone chunk is so large that it would inhibit the ability to properly close the lid, divide the meat into two equally sized pieces to make more room.

Place the onion quarters and the grated carrot into the braising dish. Be sure to spread everything out.

In a separate bowl, combine all of the dry seasonings. Squeeze in the roasted garlic, and mix to create a paste. Then pour in the apple cider vinegar and thoroughly combine.

Add the beer or cider to the bowl, along with the brown sugar. Whisk once more until all of the sugar has dissolved. Then take this liquid and pour all of it into the braising dish with the meat and vegetables.

Cover with the lid, and move to the heat.

The dish must cook over a low flame for a period of 4 to 6 hours. Remove from heat every 2 hours to disturb the mixture, to assure that everything is properly being broken down as it cooks.

What begins as many separate ingredients will gradually be broken down into an almost homogenous mixture of shredded meat and vegetables, which will be absolutely saturated in a rich broth.

Once all ingredients have been properly broken down, remove the lid and allow to cook for another 1 to 2 hours, or until the broth has reduced by half and taken on the consistency of runny gravy.

No need to allow to sit for hours on end. Once the meat has finished cooking, the only thing keeping you from eating it is your ability to tolerate hot food.

Can be eaten as is, though it pairs wonderfully with Mandragora Mash (refer to "Mandragora" segment). It also makes for a wonderful sandwich when served on Mandrabread (again, "Mandragora" segment) with a crisp slaw.

-------------------------------------------------------------------------

Naga Tail (Fried): Firm and chewy chunks of fried tail meat, which have been seasoned appropriately and given a crispy crust. Savory, salty, and oily, this dish makes for an addictive snack that is best enjoyed with friends! Tastes like fried chicken.

You will need: - 1 pound Naga tail meat - 2 ounces slime essence (or large 1 egg) - 3.5 cups fresh breadcrumbs - Quarter cup of flour - 1 teaspoon each of salt, pepper, onion, garlic, and paprika - 4 cups oil, plus 1 tablespoon - Dipping sauce of your choice (optional) Equipment: - Deep pot - Tongs - Knife and cutting board - Measuring utensils - 2 bowls

To begin, prepare your cooking oil by adding it to a deep pot and setting it over a low flame. Allow the oil to heat completely before attempting to cook, as oil that is not to temperature will result in your fried meat developing a soggy crust.

Prepare your portion of tail meat. Refer to the recipe for "Smoked Naga Tail" for an in-depth explanation of how to easily remove a chunk of flesh from the tail segment. Be sure to debone and cut the meat into bite-sized chunks. Cover these chunks of meat with oil.

In a moderately sized bowl, combine the seasonings and the flour. Add in your oiled chunks of tail meat, and thoroughly mix to assure that all meat is covered. Discard any seasoning mix which has not stuck to the meat.

Pour the slime essence over the meat (or add in 1 beaten egg). Do not mix.

Fill your second bowl with breadcrumbs, and then begin adding in your seasoned tail meat. Do this one piece at a time, and be sure to thoroughly cover eat piece in the breadcrumbs by gently jostling the bowl. Be mindful not to disturb the pieces too much as the breading may come off.

Once all of the meat chunks are breaded and buried in the crumbs, allow to sit for 5 minutes. This will assure that the slime essence (or beaten egg) fully adheres to the meat, which in turn assures that the bread crumbs will stick.

Once the batter has settled around the meat, remove the chunks one at a time and carefully place into hot oil.

Fry for three to five minutes, or until all sides have formed an evenly brown crust. Then remove from oil and allow to drain.

Serve as is, or pair with a dipping sauce of your choice.

(Authors Note: I like to dip these morsels in herb infused Snake Cheese)

-------------------------------------------------------------------------

Naga Crackling (Fried Naga skin): An addictive snack made from strips of serpentine skin, which have been deep fried and given a puffy, crispy texture similar to that of Pork Rinds. The taste is akin to that of fried chicken skin.

You will need: - Naga tail skin, descaled - 1 cup oil - Salt and pepper, to taste Equipment: - Shallow saucepan - Cooking tongs - Knife

To begin, pour your oil into a shallow saucepan and bring to temperature. If the temperature is not high enough, then the skin will fail to puff up and will be left soggy as a result.

Take your portion of tail skin and prepare it for cooking. To remove the scales, quickly dip the skin into boiling water, then immediately place in ice water. This shocks the skin and prompts the scales to dislodge with ease. They can be removed by hand or scraped off with a knife.

Once the tail skin has been descaled, but it into strips. Roughly one inch wide and 2 to 3 inches in length. Do not season.

Pat the skin with cloth to assure that it is free of excess moisture. Then take these strips of skin and carefully deposit them into hot oil, 2 to 3 at a time, and allow to cook.

The skin will bubble and expand, reaching 3 times its original thickness. You will know that it has finished cooking when it has turned golden-brown. At which point it must be immediately removed from the oil and allowed to drain.

Season with salt and pepper while hot, or with any other dried seasoning that you may fancy.

Can be immediately eaten as once cool enough to be tolerated by the human tongue. Can also be paired with dipping sauce of your choice, or used as a delightful crunchy topping for salads!

-------------------------------------------------------------------------

Sweet and Savory Naga Stew:

You will need: - 2 pounds Naga tail meat - 1 pound Mandragora Bulbs, deseeded and quartered - 4 ounces Slime essence (or 4 egg yolks) - Half pound each of carrot, onion, celery, potato, and small tomato, all cut into chunks. - 2 teaspoons each of salt, pepper, (freshly chopped) garlic, parsley, and (freshly chopped) ginger. - 1 tablespoon oil - 8 to 10 cups water Equipment: - Deep cooking pot, or cauldron, with a lid - Knife and cutting board - Large bowl - Measuring utensils - Cooking tongs and cooking spoon

Note: A fair amount of prep work will go into this recipe. The vegetables must all be thoroughly cleaned and cut into bite sized chunks.

The potatoes and the carrot must be peeled.

The garlic and the ginger need to be fresh, or the final flavor of the gravy will not be as complete. All of these things are vital and only make up a small portion of the prep that will go into preparing this dish.

To begin this recipe, first you must prepare your portion of tail meat. Refer to the recipe for "Smoked Naga Tail" for an in-depth explanation of how to easily remove a chunk of flesh from the tail segment. Be sure to debone and cut the meat into bite-sized chunks.

Cover these chunks of meat with oil, and brown unseasoned in your cooking pot or cauldron until nicely browned on all sides.

Remove the meat from heat and set aside. Then add your fresh garlic and ginger directly to the pot, and cook until lightly browned and aromatic (move the pot off of the heat temporarily if this will prevent you from burning the ingredients).

Once the garlic and ginger are browned, add in all of your vegetables. Carefully agitate these vegetables for 1 to 2 minutes to allow them to begin to cook, while covering them in the fat and seasoning that have been deposited in the bottom of the pot.

Once you begin to see some color forming on your vegetables, return the meat to the pot and carefully mix in. Then slowly add in the first half of your water.

Allow the mixture to come to a simmer. As you do, combine your remaining seasoning with the remaining water. Additionally, mix your slime essence (or egg yolks) into this seasoned water mixture.

Once the main pot has come to a simmer, slowly add in your seasoned water mixture. (Note: If you utilized egg yolks, you must first add 1 to 2 cups of heated broth from the pot to the main water mixture in order to temper the eggs. Otherwise your broth will wind up full of scrambled egg strands). You will notice that the main mixture immediately begins to thicken, which is what you want. The final consistency of the broth will be akin to that of slightly runny gravy.

Place the lid on top of the pot, and allow to cook for 1.5 to 2 hours, stirring every 30 minutes or so. The stew will be finished when the vegetables are all tender and the meat begins to fall apart.

Serve as is, or with a side of buttered Mandrabread Rolls (refer to "Mandragora" segment).

/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\

Bonus: Mandragora and their edible parts

Authors Notes: Not to be mistaken for the Mandrake, which are an independent species of plant monster with a similar name. The Mandragora is the naturally occurring species of plant monster which spends its time hidden in the ground and wails like an infant when uprooted. The Mandrake is the man-made species created through alchemy.

Mandragora are a small, non human-adjacent species of monster with the intellect of a turkey. Mandrakes are a human-adjacent species that form societies of their own in the wilderness. They are not to be mistaken for one another or treated the same.

HOWEVER, this difference is not an excuse to treat the Mandragora with any less respect than any other living creature. Uprooting them causes them intense stress (thus the wailing) and they are capable of feeling pain. Thus, harvesting these creatures for their edible parts must be done with care, so as to not harm or over-stress them.

-------------------------------------------------------------------------

Mandragora: Mandragora are best tracked during the day, when the creatures have buried themselves in the earth and gone to sleep. This will reduce the risks associated with hearing a Mandragora's scream, such as developing Mandragora Psychosis.

Mandragora are notoriously difficult to track, due to their innate ability to blend in with the surrounding foliage. So the best chance at finding them is to look for the bright orange bulbs that they produce during the late spring and early summer.

Once you have located a suspected Mandragora, you can easily authenticate its presence by tickling the underside of the leaves found growing around the bulbs.

If the leaves curl or otherwise shy away from your touch, then you've found a Mandragora. If they do not, then you've unfortunately just found a run of the mill mandragora bush. Which part of the nightshade family and is therefor highly poisonous, so you should not try to eat it.

Once you have located a Mandragora, what you do will depend on what your end goal is.

The orange bulbs are edible and can be easily harvested without killing the creature. But these bulbs should be harvested with care, as they serve as the primary means of reproduction. Each bulb could potentially go on to become a new Mandragora, and so overharvesting could be a detriment to the species.

If harvesting the bulbs for consumption, look for any with unusual coloration or size. Bulbs with green or brown hues are sterile, or otherwise considered duds. So any Mandragora born from these would be incapable of reproduction. Likewise, undersized and oversized bulbs will give rise to sickly and deformed mandragora, which will be unlikely to survive into adulthood.

Harvest these genetically non-viable bulbs for cooking purposes. This allows you to make use of your harvest which giving the healthier bulbs the chance to grow stronger, which will lead to small booms in the Mandragora population.

If the goal is to harvest the whole creature, then first remove the healthiest bulbs to plant them in the immediate area. This will assure that you'll have high chances of finding more Mandragora in the same area in a couple of years.

To safely dispatch a Mandragora, do not dig it up. This will cause undue stress to the creature and risk you getting injured. The best means of slaughtering these creatures is to take a long, sharp object (like a pick) and drive it directly into the central point of the leaves.

So find the main point where all of the leaves connect to the head, which is submerged in the soil. Locate the center, and then position your tool. It will only take one swift, downward motion.

You will need to use a fair amount of force, as you will need to drive your tool at least 3 inches deep in order to fully kill the creature. You will know that you have done this correctly if all of the surrounding leaves suddenly go limp.

Once this is done, you will be free to dig up the Mandragora without fear of its screams. Then you will be able to do with it and its bulbs as you wish.

-------------------------------------------------------------------------

For full detail recipes on how to prepare Mandragora for consumption, refer to the Mandragora Recipe guidebook.

- Mandragora Mash: A savory paste made from the pulverized body of the Mandragora. Similar to mashed potatoes in texture due to high starch content, but with flavors reminiscent of roasted garlic and honey. Peculiar, and yet still pleasant on the palate. Requires nothing but salt to create a delectable dish.

- Mandrabread: A type of naturally leavened bread created from Mandragora Flour, which is in turn created by drying out a whole specimen and then grinding it into a fine powder. This bread has a distinct chew to it and develops a dark brown crust, while retaining a white interior.

-------------------------------------------------------------------------

Mandragora Bulbs: The fetal form of the Mandragora, which are carried in a cradle of leaves atop their parents head. These bright orange fruit are rich in nutritious sugars and starches, which are meant to be used as a means of feeding the developing baby once the time comes for it to be buried by its mother.

Cut open the fruit to discover the tiny fetal forms of the Mandragora. Only the size of a pecan, and resembling a tiny tangle of roots with a face, they cannot survive long without the nourishment of the fruit unless given immediate care.

These fetal Mandragora can be cared for in the long-term if moved into a dark, damp box and provided regular feedings of fruit and vegetable slurries (which need only be dripped down into the soil that they rest upon). Once large enough, they can be moved onto a diet of fresh fruit and insects. They make for surprisingly docile pets if raised from scratch.

Otherwise, they can be easily dispatched with a light squeeze between the index finger and thumb.

I would not advise leaving the little creatures to die of natural cause, as the process can take hours and undoubtedly causes undue stress to the helpless creature.

The fetal forms are fully edible and can be eaten raw. Or they can be toasted whole, at which point they will taste akin to honeyed sunflower seeds.

-------------------------------------------------------------------------

For full detail recipes on how to prepare Mandragora Bulbs for consumption, refer to the Mandragora Recipe guidebook.

- Compote of Mandragora / Mandragora Jam: Sliced and simmered fruit of the Mandragora, sweetened through the addition of honey or sugar. Leaving the fruit mostly intact creates a compote that makes an excellent topping for cakes and breads. Thoroughly crushing the fruit as it cooks creates a spreadable jam.

When prepared this way, the fruit takes on a taste comparable to browned butter and caramel, with faint figgy notes. Suits the palates of a wide range of people.

-------------------------------------------------------------------------

- Dried Mandragora Fruit: Halved fruit of the Mandragora, dried with a mixture of salt and sugar. This dried snack has a naturally chewy texture, and is understandably both sweet and salty due to the drying process. Tastes similar to dried apples and apricots.

-------------------------------------------------------------------------

- Candied Mandragora Fruit: De-seeded, whole Mandragora bulbs cooked for hours in a mixture of honey and water over low heat. These sinfully sweet delights take a full day of carefully maintained cook time to create, and are meant to be eaten once in a blue moon due to their heightened sugar content.

They have the texture of a firm custard, or a bread pudding, and taste strongly of caramel.

-------------------------------------------------------------------------

- Mandragora Syrup: A tangy, buttery syrup made by soaking sliced Mandragora fruit in sugar. The resulting extract is then simmered to better amplify the flavor, creating a condiment that makes for a wonderful addition any recipe that could use a hint of sweetness!

-------------------------------------------------------------------------

- Grilled Mandragora Bulb: The halved fruit of the Mandragora, seasoned with olive oil and salt and grilled over an open flame. It has a surprisingly meaty texture, and savory notes reminiscent of cooked mushroom shine through the otherwise sweet and buttery taste.

/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\

Bonus: True Slimes (yes, they're edible)

Authors Note: An important distinction to make; True Slimes consist of a family of amorphous, gelatinous blobs that lack any distinguishing physical features. They do not have eyes, mouths, or internal organs. Their origin can be traced back to alchemy, though the process of their creation is unclear.

True Slimes differ from other creatures that fall into the "Slime family" due to their complete lack of physical features and their man-made origin. Other entities in the slime category often have eyes, mouths, and organs. These False Slimes are completely different from their man-made counterparts, and thus require different means of capture and preparation.

If out to harvest slime essence, be sure that the creature that you are harvesting is a True Slime. Otherwise, you pose the risk of torturing an innocent creature and poisoning yourself by consuming an inedible substance.

-------------------------------------------------------------------------

True Slime: True slimes are as common as dirt and are therefor incredibly easy to locate. They are also easy to deal with once encountered, if someone knows the proper method.

There is little reason to use excessive force or to put ones self at risk when encountering one of these creatures. All that is needed is a good blunt object with a fair amount of surface area, and a good amount of salt.

Yes. Salt.

The outermost membrane of a slime behaves much like the flesh of a gastropod. If given a thick coating of salt, this membrane fizzles away and takes with it the slimes ability to maintain form. They will quite literally melt, which leaves behind the edible essence that you are looking to collect.

So just apply a generous handful or two of salt and if needed, give the creature a strong smack with a blunt object. It will quickly be reduced to a puddle that is incapable of recovering form and thus will quickly "die".

While such an action would be cruel if used on gastropods, like slugs and snails, I do not consider it as such with the True Slimes. These creatures somehow exist in a state less complex than that of the Jellyfish, yet establish themselves to be invasive and destructive pests that claim hundreds of lives every year.

They have no organs. They reproduce asexually, generally after being damaged and broken into smaller pieces, and thus spread like wildfire if improperly dispatched. They have no means of feeling pain or pleasure, and do not react with distress to stimuli of any form. Thus the notion of cruelty when dealing with these creatures is a personal moral dilemma at best.

-------------------------------------------------------------------------

- Slime Essence: The edible essence of true slimes. Thick like mucous, and mostly made up of water, one would assume that it is basically without nutritional content.

That assumption would be wrong.

Considering that all that a slime does is aimlessly roam around its environment and consume everything that it comes into contact with, a good portion of this viscous fluid is made up of a wide range of perfectly suitable nutrients. Sugars, starches, and proteins are all present in near equal amounts in slime essence, with them only being outweighed by the higher water content.

Roughly 45% of the composition of slime essence is made up of a mixture of sugar, protein, and starch. Which in turn makes it an excellent replacement (or addition) to a wide range of recipes, generally as a binding agent.

It can replace eggs and fats in baked goods. It creates a wonderful thickening agent if mixed into soups or syrups. Small amounts of it can even be dissolved in water to create a beverage that is better at hydrating overworked bodies. The uses are vast! Which tends to come with the territory for things that seem bland and unappetizing on their own.

[apexulansis]

META   + coping mechanisms (all)

META + TOPIC.

Ancient as she has, Yeskiv has no lack of coping mechanisms, although she wouldn't be quick to refer to them as such. She wouldn't like to think she's "coping" with something, only dealing with it.

Tending to her gardens. If Yeskiv has any reason to doubt herself, she'll delay her response while she tends to her many, many plants. It's the best method she knows of to clear her mind.

Isolation. Yeskiv doesn't get along well with people, and she knows that. Her isolation is just as much for the benefit of others as it is for herself.

The whole hall of dead children thing is a gruesome, macabre coping mechanism as well. Even with as little empathy as Yeskiv is capable of, she has maternal instinct. Tens of thousands of years of stillborns and miscarriages is not something she can easily disregard. She preserves them because she is unsettled by the idea of simply forgetting them — which is plausible, because there were simply so many of them. It was also to feel like it wasn't for nothing, though that feeling abated after she had Ardaka and Zovariy. Before then, she was very fearful in the idea that she would never have them, and would be left to wonder what her suffering was even for in the first place.

Ardaka also has many coping mechanisms. To the point where many of these, he's not even sure if they're just personality traits or coping mechanisms to begin with.

Journaling. It's an easy way to get his thoughts out. Over time he's more or less created his own script-language to write in, so others cannot ever possibly spy on his inner mechanisms. He's intensely paranoid of that possibility.

Reading. A good distraction from his usual life. He'd like reading anyway, of course, this is just a convenient detail.

Being so fucking paranoid. For obvious reasons.

His hunting. Or rather, the murdering. Ardaka knows he's made irrevocable mistakes, and directly snuffing out people who are the source of trauma and terror in others' lives makes him feel he's actually made an impact in the reverse direction. A positive impact.

The disassociation is his biggest coping mechanism. That entails a whole separate post in its complexity tbh but overall, that Ardaka tends to consider himself in separate personas/names/times of his life is an attempt to disassociate and distance himself from the trauma and atrocities he's done. Talon itself is a coping mechanism for the things Vsentis was responsible for, and Ardaka intentionally tries to block the old parts, the kariian parts, of his life off when he's immersed in the disguise. It doesn't just feel like a disguise to him, though; it feels real and alive, and Ardaka clings to it often in a desperate attempt to let go of Vsentis. It doesn't wholly work, though.

Similar to Yeskiv, Zovariy wouldn't like thinking of these things as coping mechanisms... But they also have many, regardless.

Their prickly, stand-offish attitude is actually, in large part, a coping mechanism. The less willing others are to engage with them, the less willing they'll be to mess with them. When you let people close, it's easier for them to hurt you. Ardaka mauling them very much reinforced this mindset. The closer they are, the more threat there is. But if you ward them all off before they ever get to that point...

Preferring machina to people is also a part of that. They find organics to be more malicious. Cruder and less tasteful. At least a machine will be efficient. Without things being personal.

Also, they've seen what being soft gets you. Ardaka is their brother. It's easier to be cruel than to be kind. Easier to be rough, not soft. They've had a front row seat to that exact dichotomy their entire life. No thanks (even if they do also just literally have less functional capacity for empathy than Ardaka).

They frequently lash out simply because it's harder to disregard that than it is to disregard someone silent and obedient. You can't ignore what you can't control... Or something like that.

[waste-land-artist]

@that-kid-from-vault-101

“I am well acquainted with the nature of Raiders. Geography doesn’t seem to change it.” His response to Ramsey’s laugh was cool, soft, his eyes dark and his hands folded behind his back. He found it hard to believe that these people didn’t understand the gravity of the situation they were in, non-combatant or no, a raider was a raider at the end of things. “Ours rarely get the option to run.” He barely suppressed a snort at the comment about the Minutemen, the sound instead more of a slightly amused hiss of air through his nose. Said comment wasn’t at all unfounded. While the Minutemen were a competent enough force to warrant parley instead of just absorption or destruction, their forces were woefully inadequate for their desired goal. Diamond city was hardly better, he also had to agree. “Well,” he began, his voice clipped and low. “The Brotherhood of Steel is here now. I’m sure you’ve noticed that many of your competing gangs have simply disappeared. That there are fewer feral ghouls and mirelurk queens roaming. Our borders have caught up to Boston and the order that comes with them.” “As much of a...” he paused, taking a short breath through his teeth. “Honorable rogue your boss may be, your operations can not continue. Chem dealing may be the lowest possible rung of raider atrocity, but I intend to tear down the entire ladder and thus I can not allow it to continue.”

"You're gonna have to talk to the boss about that man." Wesley replied with a nonchalant shrug. "I doubt she's gonna stop running chems - but that's for you to hash out with her."

"Speakin' of..." Ramsey muttered as the double doors of the factory slammed open with force and a small group came through - dressed in raider armor and armed with weapons befitting of a raider scouting party. A diverse group of five, with a woman taking the lead. A bit taller than average, black hair pulled back in a bun and her brown eyes darting around as she took in the scene. Body tense, hands on her shotgun but not on the trigger as she looked over to the captured guard, mouth moving slightly as she did a head count.

Only when she saw that her brood was accounted for did she relax only a fraction before turning her attention to the Elder. To most, her stance and expression showed a boiling rage over the fact that her factory, her home, had been invaded and taken over.

But Aaron would be able to easily see how her pupils were blown so wide they practically consumed her irises, darting from the Elder to the soldiers around him to the exits and back. Chest rising and falling like she was trying to keep herself from hyperventilating.

She was terrified.

"...Put your weapons down." She turned her head, addressing her men.

"But -" One spoke up, a young black man directly behind her, before being cut off by a sharp look from her.

"I said - drop. Your. Weapons." She repeated through gritted teeth, her men only hesitating briefly before putting their guns on the ground.

She opened her shotgun, a double barrel, and dumped the slugs out on the ground before closing it. She still carried it as she walked to the Elder, but simply held it by the grip on one hand with the barrel pointed at the ground.

No threat. She was no threat.

"What the fuck do you want?" She asked once she got close enough, her eyes darting to the power armored soldiers near by, her body tensing before giving her attention to the Elder again. "We haven't attacked any of your units. We've been minding our business in our turf. The fuck do you want."

[nonbinary-vents]

A lot of leftists are fundamentally uncomfortable with Jews being alive because they essentially see us as a dead man walking kind of situation. To them we’re archaic and outdated, we shouldn’t be around anymore. The shoah was supposed to be our final goodbye, and then we’d be totally obliterated. But we haven’t been obliterated, we’re still very much here. And that cognitive dissonance is just too much for them, so instead of working through it they just lean more into the ‘dead culture’ territory

The soft way is to treat Judaism as an open practice, to muse over ‘what could this possibly mean??’ when there are many Jews who could tell you exactly what it means, and to generally take up the attitude of a dead people who can be mourned and admired from afar. This is why Kabbalah is so popular with non Jews— they see it as some mystical ancient magic which has been long gone, and they’re basically digging it up from the earth and reviving it. It allows them to appropriate and twist a closed culture for their own enjoyment and feel like they’re doing something good. The hard way is the kind of stuff you see with Black Hebrew Israelites and the Khazar conspiracy (and more recently also the ‘Arabs are the true semites’ idea). It’s the claim that the Jews aren’t actually the Jews, we’re some other unrelated group masquerading as Jews, muddying Am Yisrael’s good image and twisting whatever sick form of ‘pure’ Judaism they have in their mind. Ironically, this line of thinking is shared with the supercessionist style of Christian who thinks that the Babylonian Talmud is the root of all evil, and Khazar theory was created by Nazis, so that’s fun

Anybody from outside of these groups can tell instantly that this is completely batshit, but to them it’s very reasonable. Because they mould Judaism and the Jewish people around that belief that we should be dead, rather than understanding that we’re not. It’s such a fundamental tenet of our existence to them that changing it is impossible, so instead they need to adapt everything else to it. What we ultimately are to them is a vague idea of something long gone, something they can use as a lesson to the rest of humanity. And that’s fundamentally impossible to exist in a world where we are still here

The Jewish people were supposed to be a legend. The shoah was supposed to be a parable. But Jews survived the shoah, and Am Yisrael is still standing. And all of the trauma and history and atrocities against us are still with us, they can’t fade out into being some sort of story, and with that the responsibility is still on the world. It would just be all so much easier to digest if we were just gone, and nobody had to face anything

The more I think about it, the more it's become blatantly obvious that the reason modern Leftists hate the Nazis is not because of the Holocaust, but because the Nazis didn't finish the job.

[renatedagmarmilada]

grey viz print...roll down

sometimes it is necessary not to say things too openly,

yet not to keep them secret.

.punishment

for giving away the secrets of the powerful is constant

and never subsides..

.They tested remote stuff,

tried and dusted over there.

.but small amounts on many..

Here they use large amounts on a few,

though already tried and dusted

by the States,

for their own purposes.

It is the future of war weaponry.

The War Lords have given permission.

I have to go they say-

because I put it into my poetry.

Renate Fekete

Milada…17.3.07

      Averell viz Reuben

> 

> to us from our stampede West

> to where all things and safety lay

> America meant merely A viz R

> 

> we knew both well from home

> we knew and believed truthful Averell

> but his own people doubted him

> 

> we also knew Reuben's ways well

> his showmanship his charm to sway

> ere since on his journeying he began

> 

> battling in an unseen mist

> averell and reuben as we preached

> the winner clear in a smudge to teach

> 

> we sighed

> same methods

> we all knew so well

> 

> maybe we'd better stay where we are

> look behind over our shoulders

> check our backs

> 

> and where was home?

> 

An ode for Colin, Art Lecturer RIP

> 

> We continue to use her poetry

> intime it will blot out everything and pretty

> 

> its for the Ausgust issue

> its one of hers I tissued

> 

> I sent your stuff to the BBC and others

> and even used your very own venues

> 

> I work at the lab, skinny Liz

> took along with friends of the lab and Chris

> 

> and one or two are famous asked their help

> just to ensure you shut up and never yelp

> 

> it is New York lab now robbing and topping

> beamed from england to their lab computer

> 

> here bravery and decency dont count

> we don't mind losing artists and wont count

> 

> and over there anything is fair game

> as long as it has personal gain....

    Red Herrings and their  ''fairer society''

> 

> We are building a fairer society I quote

> led by the worst criminals

> even our east europeans

> have ever known

> with their wide experience of criminals

> as St Guys watches Hommerton and them

> 

> or maybe we hadn't read the country

> correctly before

> has she shamed herself in your country

> now there's another experience

> the lab whispers in microsound

> We are not talking St Guy's whispers

> is everyone frightened on this island?

> 

> atrocity after atrocity, include injustices

> sorry I made every person you met

> into a lover

> and asked them to study it as real

> you can never answer back

> nor can you stop the punishment

> they hand out

> 

> one student adds

> it is the worst penitentiary ever

> with absolutely no human rights

> the lab tells him

> it is not

> it is an experiment with no bounds

> and no boundaries

> anything goes now

> 

> this is Britain's Auschwitz they repeat

> this country is too small for camps

> every church, every shop, every school

> is your Camp 5

> we begin punishment when ever we wish

> plus the all nighters since November 03.

> why?

> why we messed up

> and Britian is never guilty

> especially when it is britains....

> 

> well death is death,

> who ever metes out the death..

Ø  robbery is robbery

Ø   

Ø  DIVORCE

> 

> the wedding was my parent's style

> motivated by what will the neighbours say

> not mine though our love showed through

> 

> quarter of a century later

> a psycho-man persuaded him to freedom

> meant shaking off all responsibility

> 

> only just moved to a new city

> a small town girl and the kids

> couldn't believe he wouldn't come back

> 

> as he always had from south Africa

> from Austria from all his job

> it was CHristmas and we didn't know how

> 

> first I drank a bottle of whisky though teetotal

> then life had to go on

> all proceedings have to go through a system

> 

> I don't remember the day or the time

> I know I sat on a bench somewhere

> and people were very kind and nice there

> 

> a Judge with a soft face and voice said something

> I don't remember what but it was gentle

> solicitor's young man arm around my shoulder

> 

> he wasn't there so you can have the kids

> but I'm still not sure what happened

> and asked for a long time

   >another seven and intimidation

> 

> more students in the lab

> doing the same file of constant lies

> spun around and around

> once they say..use your imagination

> (not what you think boys)

> over the tv voice

> the same old made up work

> by the members of the lab

> 

> a book sent to a friend

> sensitive because it tells what they do

> a student gets a first

> he has robbed it

> they have a special letter to get the post

> we just call it fining any crime

> 

> why?

> twenty years ago they split a happy family

> twenty years ago they watched us on screen

> day and night night and day

> every little action

> and certain parts sent everywhere looped

> seen by everyone

> 

> all in the bedroom and the lounge

> adults nothing wrong

> twenty years of life

> common law husband

> the student got a first

> destroy all relationships

> 

> then at the last the torture began

> squeezing arteries why?

> the effect is the same as a severe drug addict

> and pounding the heart like a smoker

> all things never experienced by this little healthy guy

> 

> please see she is dead within this decade

> and I want a heart attack shortly

> 

> last night was hell

> even for the brave and careful

> my skull hurt from the pressure

> and my spine trembled

> 

> of course intimidation

> I'd gone to see a solicitor

> a visit to a solicitor always brings such reaction

> on line torture in Britain

> 

> such a clever solicitor too

> asked you and who

> nay good Sir I aint telling

> you find out yourself...

> 

> looks like London and Europe

> this is no small matter

> though dear madam

> you try to minimalise.

> 

> why and where, what and who

> 

> 

   > why and where, what and who?

 THE QUEEN

> 

> Fay,do copy this now it is my pet project

> Jacki has taken half their carefully saved funds

> their sophisticated machinery

> over ten thousand pounds out of accounts

> lone mum and mother

> year by year year after year

> Jackie was strapped for cash

> and drinks heavily as he works for the lab

> the lab earn huge wages from taxes

> and take from the accounts at will

> it is a victim they say

> using it so as to distance their crimes

> 

> so you are still hammering her and them

> we can't let it get out

> the Queen is in it

> 

> I don't believe it

> they lied to the Queen

> 

> but the Queen can easily find out

> she has she said so

> the Queen said

> victim sue..and sue ..and sue

> do they think we can't check

> Charles too told twice but we can say nought

> wither way but we know the truth

> and you never say

> 

> Sir, we were brought up in a different way

> we sat silent and watched

> and were rewarded for our loyalty

> by a golden piece by our royals

> the only time we shouted

> the Nazis are coming

> no one listened

> 

> and again no one is listening

> the lawyers say what is criminal elsewhere

> is not criminal here and those know it

> and the public must not know the truth

> or that the Queen is in it..

> though the Queen knows full well

> 

> and more poetry books bite the dust

> I consider my real feelings for once

> but I went to school with them

> I married them, laughed with them

> cried with them, played with them

> was ill in hospitals with them

> gae birth with them

> was even divorced with them

> no not the jews here the english..

> 

> there was once a famous english writer

> who went to Holland to escape

> island corruption!

> 

> so this is the great democratic island

> we had put on a pedestal...

> 

> Renate Fekete

> 66 Lloyd Street

 > whether it is a lab or not.

> 

  Steve says

> 

> steve says they can't say we used Stanis

> cause Stanis helped us to use Stanis..

> 

> steve says Maxwell was in it and Murdoch too

> it was their choice both they chose you did not

> 

> steve says divorce, death or 'what if..?'

> stanis say you forfeit your post as well as life

> 

> steve says she had an advantage

> healthy, talented we are ordinarying her

> 

> steve says can you put a hole in her heart

> she was brilliant then but then became ' ill'

> 

> steve says yes she is still copying eveything

> the spin doctors are disturbed by the pencil

> 

> steve says the girls can do them by the imprint after

> students say we don't want to come back to the lab

> 

> steve says the Minister was in the lab by invite

> it was amusement watching peoples private lives

>.....> steve says that's why we put

they were seen

> but added all the rest for afters

[adonis-koo]

wicked • 18

↳ Summary: In a desperate hope to stop war from breaking you are a serviced to wed the most vile man alive, the one who has committed atrocities and war crimes beyond comprehension, he who is responsible for the fall of many nations, the wicked prince who’s heart is made of stone. You are to marry a man who challenges every belief and moral you stand for, all while being faced in a foreign land with nobody but yourself too trust…But are you both truly that different? Or is hate not too far from love?

↳ Pairing: Jungkook/reader

↳ Genre: arranged marriage AU, enemies to lovers, it’s kind of a period AU??? Historical but also technically not? prince!AU, eventual smut

Word Count: 12k

Previous | Next | Masterlist

tags: oral (f), tiddie sucking…love kink?, teasing, vaginal fingering, begging, multiple orgasms, overstimulation, squirting (yeah…), soft dom!kook, loss of virginity, penetrative sex, it doesn’t fit, but only for a moment, size kink,  possessiveness, multiple positions, slight spanking, corruption kink if you squint, creampies (wrap it before you tap it, condoms don’t exist in this au so…yknow)

Note: this chapter was not supposed to be so horny but the brain insisted 💅

Chapel bells could be heard, a somber cry of the hazy day ahead, you sniffled trying to get the smell of ash out of your nose, squinting as you glanced through the cracked tent, the sky tinted and hazy.

You didn’t remember the sun looking quite that color, it was distorted from normal, another bell chimed and you could hear the camp from even this distant, a crackle of the fire and a sob.

“Focus!” Baba Enàir slapped the stick in front of your desk making you jump.

“Sorry Baba.”

“You can say sorry to all the folks who rely on your hands to save their kin,” Her eyes glowered down at you, “As for me, you will do good and well to pay attention.”

Your lips twitched as you stared down at your desk, eyes slowly squinting into a glare before briefly glancing behind her once more towards the open flap of the tent where you watched the girls, hands all joined skipping in a circle.

“Why can’t I be excused?” 

Baba Enair’s eyes followed yours as she sighed, perhaps taking pity on you, though if she did her eyes didn’t show it. 

“You are the Princess of Eunoia, the people look to you for hope, not the court girls.” Baba Enair replied, “Your dryad blood allows you to heal in a way other girls cannot, that other people cannot. It isn’t fair, but it’s for the war, the amount of lives you can save alone compares to ten of the court girls. It’s imperative that your skill is honed. Now focus once more.”

You sighed, you had heard the same reason again and again, one day you hoped it would finally mean something to you though, today however, was not that day.

Regardless of how you felt, you stuck your hands back into the moon water, a small beautiful red fish, evidentially dying as it struggled to swim around. 

You closed your eyes.

“Now start your three part breath, calm your mind.” Baba Enair instructed.

You took a deep breath from your stomach, slowly expanding it to your chest and then your throat, finally letting it exhale, after a few more breaths you began to speak.

“Ni esta- upon I cemen, eless- mama na- laiva,” 

“Louder.” Baba Enair commanded.

“Let your coiv- mauime- celusse minna -yes’s eala-“ you winced as you yanked your hands from the water, the water boiling and your lips parting, feeling a piece of your heart crack at the fish, no longer swimming, but floating.

Your eyes watered as your lips trembled, you wanted him to have a peaceful passing, but all you caused was pain…

Baba Enair slapped the stick on your table, “You were too fast, too hasty! Rushing your studies will only make them last longer. Save your tears child, you will have much to cry for if you cannot even heal a fish.”

Your eyes only closed letting the tears stream down your face, the scene shifted, the tent no longer over you, but the sky above.

Thick with clouds of ash and the fire raged on, the sickening smell of death in the air, people groaning in agony and cries of mourning.

“How could you let him die you bitch! He was only a child!”

Your mouth was ajarred as you took an unsteady step back, “I’m- I’m sorry but I tried everything-“ the tent behind you being prepped for the fire, there laid a boy no older than four, a head wound that he had accidentally reopened when he fell down, attempting to play with his friend.

Blood was everywhere, even now covering your hands as tears gathered in your eyes, “I’m sorry.”

The older mother only glared as if you were nothing more than a speck of dirt under her shoe, “You’ve no right to cry!” She screamed out, reaching out as she grabbed your hair making you yelp, “You are no princess of this country! You are nothing! The dryads have abandoned your veins!” 

Guards had already pulled her off but she made sure to shove you down, gravel digging into your palms as sharp jagged pain entered your body.

Tears dripped down your nose as you heard the woman scream and cry, throwing curse words your way only for her voice to be guided elsewhere as her son’s body was carried out of the tent.

Placed into a bag but it was evident he was in there, you glanced at the large bonfire, cowardly. You looked back at the ground, unable to watch them toss his body in.

You heard her wails and cries as the fire burned bright.

And suddenly, it was surrounding you, suffocating you as you cried out, the plead of a child, the skin melting from your hands and-

You gasped, sweat dripping from your body as you sat up in bed, wincing as if something of ash still lingered in your lungs, coughing you grabbed the water carafe from your nightstand, pouring a drink.

Leaning your back against your bed board, it was just a dream…you took a shaky breath, attempting to close your eyes,

‘blood covering your face, skin hanging and cartilage visible’

Your eyes shot back open upon being greeted with Di Jin’s dead face.

It had already been difficult to go to sleep, his cold dead face showing up every time you closed your eyes, or in your dreams once you had finally slept. Tonight had been different though, different difficulties deciding to present themselves this time.

All better forgotten nonetheless.

It had only been two days, and yet, it felt as if no time had passed at all, slowly you peeled the covers off yourself, shivering as you grabbed your nightgown cover, putting the long sleeve on as you walked to the door.

The room suddenly felt too closed in, too suffocating, you needed air.

Opening the door, you were greeted with your personal knight Yoongi, his injuries still healing, but he was doing far better than you.

When the unfortunate event of Di Jin and Seohyun showed up, Yoongi had shown up the morning after, bruised and battered, the entire operation of the tower being sieged a guise to bait him out and even better if it killed him, and worst of all it worked. 

Well, the bit to draw him out, but evidently he was still very much alive.

“Your Highness?” Yoongi raised his brows a little, not surprised to see you up, but a little concern evident in his eyes.

“I wish to go for a walk.” Your voice was a quiet croak, shaky even.

“Of course.” Yoongi replied.

“Can it be…as if I were by myself?” Your lips turned into a small frown.

Yoongi gave you a weak smile, “You won’t even notice me.” 

You nodded before walking past him, a little ways ahead before you could only assume he melded into the shadows, trailing behind unseen but still within a safe distance.

The corridors were empty, save for a few guards who bowed for you before giving you no grief, everyone looked at you differently though. 

It was evident in their eyes, the way they all warily kept a distance. 

Once upon a time, you had gotten used to your title, the Bitch of Eunoia.

But now they had all taken to calling you something different, something new, the Blood-Devoured Bitch. It was a hybrid name, both of Penumbrian and Eunoian background, sickening and yet flattering all the same, it suited you, you supposed.

Stepping out into the courtyard you innately shivered, ice cold air penetrated easily past your cover, wrapping your arms around yourself you took a big breath of air.

It’s crisp cool entered your lungs like new life, and for a moment you felt better.

Sitting down on the bench you curled into yourself, and suddenly the weight of your soul felt heavy again, you were so tired. A type of tired that sleep would not make go away.

Staring at the moon, you let its light be your only comfort, surely better days would come.

Jungkook couldn’t describe his level of worry for you, you had woken up physically fine, a minor wound to your chest where Di Jin had attempted to kill you. But you yourself were not fine.

You looked haunted, any food put in front of you was left untouched, and even if you did eat, you were unable to keep anything down.

Jungkook thought once Wheein was safe, things would get better. But it was clear to him this was hardly the case and what made it worse was you were isolating yourself now, refusing to talk to him or anyone else.

Wheein had desperately wanted to see you but Jungkook firmly sent her back to Skol demanding she take some time to herself, being in the dungeon for the last three weeks was no good for anybody mentally, especially her.

Meanwhile he was left to pick up the pieces of whatever had happened at the estate, and it didn’t take a genius to figure it out. 

He felt horrible, he wanted you to go to the estate because he thought it was safe, but as it turns out, he nearly sent you to your death. He hadn’t pushed the topic with you, left you alone if you didn’t respond.

He just wanted you to be okay, it pained him seeing you like this. 

You felt unreachable, and it made him feel as if he was literally losing his mind.

But tonight was Sunday, the day the family gathered together for dinner, Jungkook’s hopes were low but he could only hope that you would show up, he was worried and even more so at a loss of what to do, or if he could do anything at all.

You killed Di Jin. 

The Eunoian Princess, who had sworn an oath to never kill, who came from a pacifistic nation, who had divine dryad blood running through her veins, killed someone. 

And Jungkook knew you wouldn’t listen to him, it mattered not that you did it in self defense, it didn’t change the fact that you still broke your oath. Dinner had been quiet, nobody talking and this was to be expected, after all, everyone almost murdered your hand maid, you almost died, and then not only killed Di Jin, the kings oldest and dearest friend, but also Seohyun, Jungkook’s old fiancé.

Guards had gone to the estate to clean up the mess only to find her mangled body, torn apart by a wolf- namely yours.

Perhaps it wasn't directly you, but it mattered not, you would still take the guilt.

The doors opened and Jungkook straightened in his seat, you gave a short courtesy before taking your seat next to him, your eyes looked sunken in and it was evident you hadn’t slept a single night. 

Jungkook could feel it clawing at his chest with the urge to do something, anything, but he knew all too well this would be something you would have to reconcile with yourself, in your own time.

Dinner was quiet and his uncle and aunt only murmured conversation, Jungkook could only let out a quiet sigh as he lifted his goblet to his lips, wine almost never solved his problems but it did help him relax. 

“Yes, apparently a wild pack of dogs attacked Vail yesterday,” Jeong Dae’s voice was quiet, Areum’s eyes on him as she took a sip of her wine.

Their voices were the only one’s at the table that have yet to talk, after all they had always managed to keep the conversation going in these awkward events.

You were twirling your soup in its bowl, having not attempted to eat, eyes strictly somewhere between the table and your food.

“Well there needs to be more guards posted in the outer district’s now that this whole assassin business is finished,” Areum replied, leaning back in her chair, “They had four fatality’s which could’ve been prevented with adequate soldiers number’s.”

“Or perhaps we just need better soldiers,” Jeong Dae mused, “Perhaps our War Matron should make her return.”

You finally gathered a spoonful of your soup, watching the steam rise from it’s surface before you pushed it into your mouth. Jungkook wasn’t trying to stare, but it was difficult to look away when you were having to force every drop of broth down.

Areum scoffed, “Unless war is on the horizon I would rather rot. There was only one guard there, and he was passing through on his patrol.” 

You gathered another spoonful, looking at it once more as if having to mentally prepare yourself. 

“Is a shame though,” Jeong Dae sighed, “It was an absolute mess when I arrived, blood everywhere, one of the poor lad’s had his throat ripped out-”

A loud cough cut off the conversation, all eyes on you as you grabbed your mouth, lurching in your seat as if attempting to not vomit, “Excuse me.” You didn’t even so much as wait for a reply, shoving yourself out of your chair and promptly exiting. 

Jungkook was immediately pushing himself out of his chair, not even saying a word as he quickly followed after you. You probably didn’t want to see him, but he simply couldn’t stand watching you like this. 

He needed to do something, anything. 

“Y/n!” He called out as you rushed down the hall. 

You shook your head as you took a sharp left, going down the stairs towards the cellar, Jungkook quickly stepping down the stairs as he called your name once more. 

It was dark and only candles lit the air, dust could be seen if one got too close, walls of wine and dry goods stored as you turned the corner of a storage wall, weaving towards the very back where surely no one would go. 

Jungkook quickly followed behind, turning the last corner of the storage wall before he sighed out, a dead end with you at the last wall, back still turned but your sobs evident, hands covering your eyes as you tried to regain your breath but struggling to do so. 

It came out in choked wheezes as you coughed and gagged, struggling to calm yourself down, flashes of blood, images of flesh and gore, no matter how many times you washed out your mouth, you could still taste it. 

Raw flesh going down your throat. 

Jungkook finally stopped at your back, unable to find any words, he could only pull you to face him, and he hated it, how it always seemed your face was filled with tears more than smiles, “I can’t get it out!” 

You felt like a helpless child all over again, unable to help yourself let alone anyone else, but you felt so lost, you didn’t know what to do, you had all of these new feelings, all of these new sins you had to carry. 

You let out another sob as Jungkook pulled you in, and you could do nothing but collapse against him as you cried, “I can’t get the taste out! No matter- wh-what I eat, what I drink, I still taste it!” 

Jungkook only soothing hushed you, pressing his lips on top of your head, “I know.” He ushered softly, “I’m sorry.”

His arms wrapped around you tighter as you cried, resting your head into his shoulder, after a few minutes passed you had finally managed to calm your breath into steady.

“I can’t go back, I can’t undo everything I’ve done, I don’t know what to do anymore,” You tried to not weep but the tears slowly began to trickle back down your cheeks as you lamented, “My whole life i’ve been told I’m supposed to save lives,”

You pressed your hands against his jacket, looking up at him, “So why is it, all I ever seem to do is take them?” 

Jungkook tenderly cupped your cheeks in his hands, thumbing the tears away as he pressed his forehead against yours, “I can’t speak for all of your past doings, but I can speak for what happened at the estate, your survival was dependent on your ability to defend yourself. You were forced to do what anybody would do.”

You shook your head in remorse, closing your eyes as you stifled a sob, Jungkook tenderly stroking your cheeks as he continued, “Humans are instinctive creatures, though you are part dryad, it seems violence runs in your veins.” 

You sniffled, “That’s terrifying! You should be terrified. Everyone looks at me differently now, certainly you do as well, I killed the woman who was supposed to be your wife!” 

Jungkook sighed, tenderly tracing your jawline with those long fingers of his, “The only thing that truly terrified me? Was when you walked through those gates covered in blood, and I realized I had unknowingly sent you to your death, unable to be there for you, unable to protect you, failing as a husband. That terrifies me.” 

Your lips trembled as Jungkook’s fingers traced down your neck to your collarbone, “But you? I told you to show me all of you, and that I would take you as you are, my words still stand.” His fingers trailed down the center of your chest, stopping at the covered wound, the mark where Di Jin had attempted to make his finishing blow. 

“How could I be afraid of someone I love?” It was nothing louder than a whisper. 

It caused your gut to wrench as you violently shook your head, “Don’t say that, please don’t say that Jungkook.” You immediately escaped his arms, every step you took back Jungkook closed the gap with another forward. 

“I don’t expect it to be requited, you don’t have to say it back Y/n but I’ve went through all stages of grief about it, I can’t change it,” Jungkook wasn’t backing down though, “I am in love with you and everything I thought I knew about love, everything I thought I knew about women, feelings, all of it, you came into my life and taught me that I was a fool to ever assume as much. I love you.” 

“Stop saying it! Please, you don’t mean that, please don’t say it so easily…”

Your back was pressed against the wall as you shook your head, Jungkook standing tall in front you, delicately leaning down, both his forearms on either side of you as he whispered, “I love you Y/n, and you will not dictate to me whether that is the truth or not. My love for you has been anything but easy, don’t discredit how I feel because I’m the first to admit it.”

“You can’t love me,” You whispered, eyes blurring once more as flashes of Seohyun’s mangled body appeared in your vision. 

“Loving you is like loving the sun,” Jungkook replied softly, “Effortless, and if I’m meant to burn in its light, then I'd die happily in doing so. My precious sun, the light of my life. Let me love you, let me take care of you, let me protect you, let me never leave your side again.”

“Jungkook…”

“I failed you, let you leave my side, sent you to the estate. It’s ultimately my own fault, and I’ll spend the rest of my life redeeming myself for it. But please, don’t punish me anymore,” Jungkook’s eyes sombered, a sort of tender plea in them, “I can’t be apart from you anymore, I’ve tried to give you space, time to think, to heal, but just as you need me, I need you. I need you just like the moon needs the sun.” 

You had no words, unable to speak, overwhelmed by so many different feelings, but one thing you knew for certain was that when you looked at Jungkook, you felt at home. You said nothing, only gently laying your forehead in the crook of his neck, arms wrapping around him. 

Trying to drown out the voices, the memories in his warmth, you were so terribly homesick, and Jungkook was surely your only remedy to this. 

His arms wrapped around you in return, holding you tightly as he pressed a kiss against your head, “It’s selfish, but please, don’t deny me, love me, lay with me, we’re married, but I want you to be my wife.”

“Take me back to our bedroom.” You whispered to him, curling into his warmth as you shuddered, trying so hard to not let the vivid grotesque images back into your mind. 

There was nothing quite like the warmth a bath could offer, steaming wafting from heat and dipping your body in made you realize just how chilled you had become throughout the day. Perhaps the best part was sitting perched in your husband’s lap, head laying on his shoulder as he tended to you.

The warmth of the washcloth running along your body, his hands that had easily taken tens if not hundreds of lives tenderly running through your hair as he washed you, he of course didn’t miss the opportunity to feather your neck in kisses. 

“Is this okay?” He whispered in your ear, you nodded wanting nothing more than for him to keep making you forget, you didn’t want to remember anymore. 

Jungkook was still tenderly cleaning you up, lips occasionally going back to your neck with a few gentle kisses and eventually after bathing you both settled in the water, just enjoying one another’s embrace. 

His fingers tracing circles on your back before running down your waist, squeezing your ass for a moment before his hand would return back up your waist, touching you however he wanted, simply because he could. 

It was a comforting gesture, but it was also evident how aroused you both were, every time his hand would dip under the water, it made your body just a little more excited, feeling his hand gripping your flesh tightly, making you shift a little and the first tiniest audible moan escaping your lips. 

You could feel it briefly, his hardened cock resting against his chiseled abdomen, Jungkook’s lips pressed against your neck once more, this time suckling the skin as his other hand trailing down your waist before gripping the other side of your ass. 

A soft moan escaped your lips, making your hips shift, nudging his cock once more making his lips suckle your skin a little harder, he released the skin after a moment, as if not wanting to mark it, “Let me make you feel good, my little sun.”

His fingers digging into your skin, his tongue dragging on your neck, “Please.” You ushered out a small moan. 

Jungkook’s hand’s suddenly grabbed your waist, “Hold on,” He said and you didn’t understand for a moment until he suddenly picked you up, bringing you out of the water, grabbing one of the towels from off the stool he laid it out on the bed to not get it wet before dropping you down. 

The fire crackled on, the only light source in the room, leaving it dark and warm, but the silhouette of Jungkook’s body was still very evident, his hard cock even more so as he stood tall in front of your figure. 

You felt so small in comparison in this moment, but it didn’t last long as Jungkook leaned down, “You’re so perfect.” He whispered, lips pressing into yours as if he could sense your anxiousness, your body was so pliable though, having his hovering over you protectively. You moaned into the kiss, body relaxing as one of his hands found your thighs, pushing them apart tenderly as you opened them for him.

Your cunt was throbbing and wet, eager to be touched by him as Jungkook broke the kiss, letting his tongue drag down your throat and to your collarbone before he feathered more kisses, pausing at your breasts. 

Jungkook couldn’t resist wrapping his lips around your left tit, this forced a moan from you, hips shifting in need as a hand steady them, as if telling you to be patient, he traded for your right tit next, moaning softly against your skin as if relishing in it. 

“Jungkook…!” You whined softly, watching the explicit sight, your thighs spreading a little more in need. 

Jungkook’s eyes almost glowed in the dark, that icy blue piercing gaze, hazy and filled with lust as he released your tit from his lips, a small lazy smirk tugging on his lips, “Yes, my love?” 

It felt like knots were forming in your stomach, “Love me, you keep saying it, show me how it feels.” 

Jungkook gave you a small smile, “You don’t need to ask me twice.” His lips pressed down your stomach and your body was reacting in all the ways he could hope as he made his way down to your hips, tenderly, slowly, licking up every reaction he got before he settled himself between your thighs. 

Still he seemed to enjoy getting you worked up, lips pressing against your inner thigh making you squirm, your cunt dripping wet as you whined, “Jungkook!” 

His tongue dragged just a little closer to where you wanted it, “What do we say when we want something?” 

“Please…!” 

Jungkook moaned softly as his tongue pressed against your cunt making you let out a moan of relief, his hot wet tongue mixing with your arousal as he pressed against your little opening before dragging it up your slit, right where you wanted it. 

You moaned softly as his tongue pressed against your clit, you shifted onto your forearm, your other hand reaching down to bury in his wet dark locks of hair, his tongue swirling around the tender bud as pleasure shot through your body making your thighs open further for him.

His eyes closed as he moaned against your clit, wrapping his lips around it as if suckling something sweet, it made a sharp whine escape you as you yanked his hair hips lifting for him. 

“Mm Jungkook.” You ushered out softly as his lips parted, tongue lathing against the little bud that had you squirming in pleasure. 

“Relax my love,” Jungkook moaned into your cunt, “Let me make you cum as many times as you please.” 

His fingers snuck down to your cunt as his lips wrapped back around your clit making you whine, his tongue having found a particularly sweet spot that had you grabbing his hair.

His fingers toyed with your little hole at first, letting them get nice and sticky from your arousal before he pushed a digit in, your body immediately reacted, walls clenching around him as a strangled whine left you. 

His lips parted as his tongue lathed your clit, continuously flicking the sweet spot of your bud as you whimpered, your cunt throbbing in pleasure as his finger began to pump inside you, “Relax princess, I got you,” Jungkook’s lidded eyes met yours, and briefly you could see his finger, knuckle deep in your cunt. 

As if noticing this as well a small smirk curled on his lip as he pulled it out, before gathering both his middle and ring finger, pushing it back inside you, it made you wince a little in discomfort, “Shh, give your body to me, I’ll take care of it my love,” Jungkook moaned softly, his cock was rock hard at watching you moan and wither beneath him in pleasure.

Your walls clenching tightly around his fingers as he thrusted them inside you, his lips tenderly pressing into your thigh to soothe you as your body slowly relaxed just as he said.

Your hips slowly lifted in sync with his as you whined, Jungkook buried himself back in your cunt once more, tongue lapping at your little clit, getting the exact reaction he had hoped. 

A loud cry escape you, thighs suddenly wrapping around his head just the way he wanted them too, wanting to be suffocated by your cunt and nothing else, his fingers immediately began pumping rougher inside you as you whined unable to keep yourself supported anymore as you collapsed back against the bed. 

“Koo! Mmm! Please Koo!” Your words were mumbled and whiny as his tongue viciously swirled and suckled your throbbing bud, his fingers suddenly lifting inside you as if in search for something. 

Pleasure was becoming more consistent, more intense as Jungkook's moan vibrated against your clit and his fingers pushing all the way inside you as they lifted once more, the pleasure that suddenly snapped through your body was indescribable, a loud whimper escaping you. 

His name came in shambled shorter variations as you whined and moaned, your walls rapidly squeezing around his fingers as he kept thrusting into the same spot again and again.

Jungkook kept lapping at your clit, finding that sweet spot once more as you withered beneath him, back arching as your mind blurred with pleasure, “Oh..! Oh god, please! Yes! Mmm!” 

Your voice echoed throughout the bedroom loudly as fits of moans  escaped your mouth, lips parted at just how good you felt, “Cum for me, cum all over my fingers sweetheart,” Jungkook moaned before his lips parted against your clit, lazily rubbing into that little spot as his fingers ruthlessly rubbed into that spot inside you. 

And you did. 

Your walls rapidly wrapped around his fingers as he kept shoving them inside you, his tongue attached to your bud, milking your orgasm as unholy noises escaped your lips, mixtures of thanks, of his name, cries to the empty sky. 

It just kept going, the pleasure only heightened as you squealed out, hands digging into his hair as his tongue swirled over your clit, fingers refusing to stop as they hit that same spot inside you over and over again. 

It had your eyes rolling to the back of your head, your thighs trembling as you completely gave your body up to him, relaxing into the building sensation inside your cunt as your walls kept squeezing around his fingers, his tongue not stopping on your clit as he suckled it once more. 

His tongue finding just the right spot as it all spiked once more, your moans were shaky and cried out as blind pleasure washed over you once more, cumming all over his fingers but not only that liquid suddenly spewing lewdly from your little hole. 

“Fuuck,” Jungkook moaned, lifting your hips suddenly as his fingers abused your little entrance, hitting that spot over and over again as your body withered against him, “Such a good girl.” 

His fingers finally pulled out of your cunt, your thighs trembling as he set you down, moaning as he kissed your thighs, hands dragging against your waist, “Fuck, I want you so bad sweetheart, wanna fill you up, wanna feel you cum all over my cock.” 

You were heaving deep breathes, trying to comprehend the pleasure you just experienced, you were hazy still as your hand tenderly combed through his hair, “Then do so…” You gazed at him, hazey and the darkness made it difficult to make out his expression, “You said you wanted me to be your wife, then make me your wife.” 

Jungkook’s gaze shot up to you as you weakly smiled, “I want you to be my husband, but we’ve never consummated it. I want to.” 

Jungkook moaned softly, his cock throbbing as he crawled up to you, arms hovering on either side of you as he stared down at you, “You mean it?” 

“Of course I do,” You whispered, hands creeping up his neck and back to his hair once more, pulling him down for a kiss that he would never deny you. 

Jungkook moaned softly into the kiss before he broke it, pressing a kiss against your neck, “It’ll hurt,” He whispered, “But I’ll make sure it doesn’t last long.” 

Jungkook shifted you further up the bed as he sat on his knees, between your thighs as you parted them for him, feeling nervous, but you felt so safe with him, you wanted him, craved him. Jungkook’s fingers brushed over your cunt, puffy and wet as you shuddered. 

His hand was soaked in your arousal as before he wrapped it around his cock, just as big and fat as you remembered. His eyes didn’t leave yours as he pumped his cock in his hand, it made you feel shy as you shifted beneath him. 

“Are you sure?” He murmured, you nodded. 

Grabbing your thighs he pulled you closer to him before he grabbed his cock once more, rubbing the fat weeping head of his cock against your cunt as you let out a shaky exhale, you knew he was big but…he was really big compared to you.

Just the size of his head was nearly as big as your cunt itself, “Jungkook I don’t…-”

“It’ll fit.” He reassured, a little amused, pulling the head of his cock to your little entrance before attempting to push it in. 

You winced in pain as you shifted, you weren’t sure how you expected this to go, it really wasn’t something you had ever fantasized about. But the first attempt was lackluster due to the fact that he indeed was not getting it in.

Jungkook’s nose wrinkled, “Ugh fuck. Hold on,” He whispered, shifting a little more, setting your thighs a top of his a little more, lining his cock back up to your entrance as he pushed once more. 

He pushed the fat head of his cock against your entrance once more, this time however, you let out a yelp, the sensation almost burning as you shifted in discomfort against him, “Ah…! Fuck that hurts.” You let out a weak whine, biting down on your lip hard. 

And it did, all you could focus on was how much it ached and burned having your walls pushed open by something so large and foreign.

Jungkook leaned down, arms on either side of you as he pressed feathery kisses into your neck, “I’m sorry, my love,” His whisper was strained, “Just let yourself relax, it won’t last long.” He let out a slight shaky moan as he pushed himself just a little deeper inside you.

You tried to let yourself relax as much as possible, but your brows were still pinching together and it was difficult for it to not hurt when he was just really that big. 

Jungkook suddenly pulled out of you making you sigh in relief, Jungkook pressed another comforting kiss against your neck as he pushed the head of his cock back inside, only this time, it wasn’t nearly as painful, a little discomfort of having something foreign inside your body. 

But it wasn’t nearly as bad, Jungkook’s muscles were completely tensed and his breath was shaky as he buried his face into your neck with a moan, “Fuck sweetheart, you feel so fucking good wrapped around me.” 

Jungkook his deep raspy words in your ear made your walls squeeze around him, making him push a little deeper inside you as you let out a soft whine, shifting your hips as if trying to take more of him. 

Jungkook could feel this, immediately pushing his cock deeper inside you, “Oh my god,” He whispered, “Fucking perfect, perfect cunt, perfect body, perfect for me. Look at that little cunt, taking me so well.” 

You whined at his hips thrusting a little, as if testing the water’s, “Koo…mmm!” Your eyes snapped shut at feeling his cock splitting your walls open, hitting all the right places.

Jungkook moaned as his hips slowly began to thrust, his cock still not fully inside you but with each thrust it got a little closer, “Feels so warm, so little, fuck, keep wrapping around me like that love.” 

His shaft rubbed right into that sweet spot that had you moaning, legs wrapping around his waist, your cunt felt so full and yet wanted so much more, Jungkook’s hips were becoming a little faster, “Such a perfect cunt, mine. All mine.” There was a hint of possessiveness in his words. 

Your hands dug in his hair, “All yours.” You whimpered out quietly as your body started jolting, his hips becoming rougher at the words, “Your cunt, yours.” 

Jungkook let out a rough moan, deep and raw as if those words made him all hot and bothered, “Fuck yeah it is,” He suddenly growled in your ear, “You’re my fuckin’ wife, my cunt to play with, my cunt to make cum again and again. Mine.” 

You suddenly whimpered at feeling his cock going deeper inside you, your eyes shutting as you moaned for him, knowing he wanted to hear them, knowing how much he liked to see you in pleasure, “Mmm! Like that.” 

“Oh? Like this?” He smirked against your skin as he thrusted particularly harsh, his cock going deep inside you once more, your walls rapidly clenching around him as you moaned, nails dragging against his back. 

“What about this?” He murmured in your ear, pushing his hips all the way until they met yours, his cock completely buried in your warm little cunt as you shakily moaned, eyes squeezing shut at how deep he was inside, how thick and fat his cock was, completely splitting open your walls. 

“Mmm fuck, yeah.” You ushered softly, creaming all over his cock, arousal coating it as your walls squeezed around him, you had finally found heaven, it was Jungkook buried inside your cunt. 

Jungkook moaned as well, feeling how tight your walls squeezed around him in pleasure, as if suddenly starved Jungkook grabbed your thigh, bringing it over his shoulder as his hips shifted, rapidly thrusting into you as you yelped in surprise. 

But pleasure was immediately blooming side you, his shaft rubbing all the right spots, balls slapping against your skin as you whimpered for him, “Oh! Right there, yeah! Yes, god…!” 

Jungkook moaned, “Fuck yeah, squeeze around me baby, know you wanna cum on it, cum all over this fat cock, gonna fill you up until your dripping.” 

Your hips lifted with his, moaning at how good it felt, his cock roughly dragging in and out of you, pushing your walls open with each thrust, “Mmm wanna cum all over it.” 

Jungkook moaned, thrusting particularly hard this time making you whine before he suddenly shifted, letting go of your thigh as he suddenly sat up right, but dragging you with him, his cock pulling out of you as you whined. 

Thighs trembled and uncertain of this new position as Jungkook sat you in his lap, immediately grabbing his cock as he pushed it back inside you, except you were a little awkward, “Mm Koo I don’t-”

“Like this love.” Jungkook moaned, grabbing your hips as he lifted them, this new position made you feel him in an entirely new way, your lips parting as an involuntary moan escaped you, trying to mimick the way his hips guided you. 

Sliding down his cock as you moaned, feeling how deep he was inside you, your walls rapidly clenched, Jungkook’s hands tightened around your ass, “Fuck yeah sweetheart, can feel you wrapping around it, cum.” His head suddenly dove down, lips parting on your right tit as he suckled it harshly making you cry out, walls clenching around him as you lowered your hips all the way down. 

Your arousal dripping on his balls as he lifted you, fucking you on his cock as you whined pathetically, not of much use when he fucked you like this, his lips suckled your tit harshly once more, “Cum,” He growled, his hand suddenly smacking your right ass cheek making you yelp. 

Your body however, loved that feeling of pain, your cunt squeezing around his cock as he roughly bounced you on it, “Like that? Like getting spanked sweetheart?” Jungkook grinned deviously, suddenly smacking your ass even harder, your body reacting to it as your walls clenched harder around him. 

“Mmm! M’ gonna cum..Koo!” You whimpered out, all the sensations overwhelming you as Jungkook continued to bounce you on his cock, pushing you deeper on him as he smacked your ass once more, this time hitting just under the cheek, the pain mixed with the pleasure as you moaned loud, walls squeezing rapidly around his cock. 

Your lips parted as you came all over his fat shaft, being bounced roughly as Jungkook moaned, “Fuck yeah, thats it princess,” Jungkook moaned, wrapping his around around your waist as he laid back on the bed, bring you with him a top as his hips lifted, rapidly thrusting up inside you, this orgasm was much deeper, more powerful as he continued to bottom out inside you making sure he was completely buried inside you.

“Fuck my love, that’s it.” Jungkook ushered a moan, you felt it before you heard it, something indescribably warm shooting deep inside your cunt, “Mm that’s it, take it like the good girl you are.” 

You let out the tiniest whine, burying your head in his shoulder as he let out a deep sigh of contentment, relishing in his orgasm, how long had he imagined holding you like this?

His lips tugged into a lopsided smile as his eyes opened, looking at you as if you were the only thing in the world, as if in deep admiration, love.

You supposed that look in his eyes, could only be described adequate as love, “My goddess,” He mused, fingers trailing your face, his hand trailed down your side before grabbing your hand, the skin discolored in large patches. 

Jungkook pressed his lips against the palm before tenderly planting a kiss on each finger, the gesture was so full of love it made your eyes fill with tears that did not shed, his lips pressed against your wrist, “The love of my life, I know I cannot change the past,”

Jungkook laid you both on your side as he wrapped his arm around you, “But we will get through this together.”

You weren’t sure what it was, the earnest look in his eyes, the pure devotion in his voice, but you believed him, you wholeheartedly believed him, “We will.” You whispered back, leaning in to press your lips against his.

It was filled with nothing but sweetness, tenderly pressing over yours as he let out a soft moan, his hand finding its home around your neck, not squeezing but simply holding it, “My wife.” He moaned against the kiss, “My beautiful wife. I don’t think there will ever be a day I don’t love you. Sleep, and if you wake, I’ll be here to hold you.” 

Sleep did not come easily, Jungkook had managed to get you both under the warm covers, scaring off whatever little coldness that had tickled your skin, the last hour before he fell asleep had been silent, his fingers tracing circles against your back, enjoying one another's warmth. 

You had eventually fell asleep but dreams you could not remember had plagued you back awake, your eyes were tired but you could see blue light streaming in from the window, it wouldn’t be long before your day would begin. 

Still, you laid dozing off enjoying your Jungkook who hadn’t let go of you the whole time, skin to skin contact soothing, you had rolled onto your stomach, letting the weight of his body near on top of you soothe your eyes back shut. 

Shifting a little to get comfortable this must have accidentally awoke him as you felt a gentle kiss press on your shoulder a sleepy groan escape his lips, “How long have you been awake?” He mumbled, his voice quiet, deeper and raspier than normal. 

“...Not too long, I’ve woken up multiple times though.” You whispered, keeping your eyes shut as you felt his hand slowly stroke your waist. 

You would never say it out loud, but you could definitely get use to being petted like this.

“You should’ve woke me up,” Jungkook pressed another kiss against your skin, this time your neck, “Let us lay together in silence.” 

“We could be laying in silence right now.” You offered a tiny tired smile though you weren’t sure he could see it. 

“We could.” Jungkook murmured, his lips pressing onto your neck once more, this time parting as his tongue tenderly lapped over your skin, the act itself made your breath hitch, body stirring as you tilted your head, letting him have more access to your skin. 

You kept your eyes closed, allowing him to give you open mouthed kisses over your neck, not too long in each spot to be mindful of marking, his tongue delicately tracing over each patch just enough to tease. 

It seemed he finally got what he wanted out of you, a tiny moan as he shifted you both, now spooning you, your bare ass promptly snug against his hard cock, his lips suckling the skin of your neck as his hand snaked over your waist, grabbing a handful of your tit as he pinched your nipple. 

You whined as you rubbed back against him a little, this made his hand immediately grab your hip, squeezing it to stay still before it hooked over your thigh to lift it, your cunt glossy and wet, dried cum staying your thighs no doubt. 

Your face felt hot and flush and suddenly the covers that had kept you warm were like an inferno, Jungkook shifted, grabbing his cock as he let his fat weeping head rub along your puffy slit. 

A small breath escaped you as he rubbed it over your sensitive clit before back to your little entrance, and then pushing it in, your brows pinched together in discomfort, his size still big for your body to adjust too. 

“Shhh,” He whispered against your neck, moaning softly as his hips started thrusting, his cock pushing further inside you as you whined, “Fuck, can’t believe this pussy is all mine,” Jungkook ushered quietly, “Mine to fuck, mine to love, mine to cum inside. Mine.” 

You moaned against the pillow, your walls squeezing tight around his cock as he thrusted further inside you before pushing all the way in, his shaft rubbing just the right way inside you, “Mmm, Jungkook.” You moaned quietly. 

You could feel his wicked smirk on your skin, hips suddenly thrusting rough up into you, his cock throbbing as his balls smacked against your skin, “Moan my name, only mine. Want everyone to hear, to know how good I fuck you.” 

You bit down on your lip at his hips thrusting at a steady but rough pace, each time pulling almost out of you only to shove all the way back in, the fat head of his cock hitting that sweet spot inside you each time. 

“That's right sweetheart, cream all over it, wanna feel this pretty little cunt cum all over my cock,” Jungkook moaned in your ear, that deep rasp in his voice had your clit throbbing and your walls wrapping around him as you whined. 

Overwhelmed by how big he was, how good it felt you nearly cried out at the feeling of his cock pulling out of you, your muscles tensed as your eyes snapped open at being robbed of your pleasure. 

Jungkook had a sleepy smirk on his face as he sat upright against the headboard, pulling the covers off to reveal his fat, proud cock, glossy with your arousal as he offered you a hand, “Come sit on your throne my goddess.” 

Your body felt hot in all kinds of ways as you took his hand before slowly crawled to him, Jungkook however manhandled you to sit on his lap, your back pressing into his chest as he pried your thighs apart, the position was all too familiar as you whined. 

“Jungkook…!” 

“Remember what I said last time?” Jungkook pressed a long kiss against your neck, shifting you as he grabbed his cock, gleaming coated in your arousal as he pushed the head back inside you, an audible moan from you echoing in the room as you watched in arousal and horror at how much he was splitting your cunt. 

Your body could do nothing but sink down on it, whines and whimpers escaping you once again at just how thick his cock was, finally meeting the base as your body rested against his, Jungkook however had different plans, grabbing your thighs to lift them a little as he suddenly starting thrusting. 

His fast pace took you off guard as you gurgled a moan, eyes unable to look at anything except his cock pulling in and out of your cunt, covered in slick arousal as you felt his shaft squeezing past your soft warm walls each time, hitting up into your sweet spot that had you moaning. 

“You like watching?” Jungkook grinned, a breathy moan escaping him as his chin rested on your shoulder, eyes hazy as he watched his cock push all the way inside you, “Like being made to take this big fat cock while being made to watch.”

Jungkook’s eyes squeezed shut at how hard your walls suddenly clenched around him, taking everything in him to not cum this very moment, “You’re so fucking little,” He groaned, fingers digging into your thighs, “Love feeling that pretty little cunt wrap around me, heh yeah like that fuuck.” 

His fingers found your clit rubbing them as you yelped out, walls rapidly clenching around him in a feeling that he was quickly starting to familiarize himself with, it made his cock throb in pleasure as he lifted once more, shifting you both a little so you laid back more against his chest, thrusting harder and faster this time as he pressed your clit between his fingers. 

“Mmph! Koo-! Fuck, ah! Yes! Oh god, like that, please! Please!” Moans escaped you incohesively, surrendering your body to him as he fucked you roughly, hips snapping up into yours, his cock stretching out your walls each time. 

Jungkook’s fingers toyed with your throbbing clit, “Thats it, moan, let them know who’s taking care of this pretty pussy, who’s filling you up with cock right now,” His hips drilling into you as he watched his cock snap in and out of your cunt each time, “Look, watch.” He growled in your ear. 

Your eyes opened as you moaned, your cunt puffy and wet, stretching for him with more ease now than before, Jungkook’s hips slowed down, “You like watching yourself get fucked?” 

Your throat felt dry and your body hot as his hips sensually moved, slower, deeper, making sure you felt every thrust of his hips as his cock buried deep in your cunt, “Answer.” 

“Yes,” You stammered, whining a little at his cock burying inside you once more but this time not pulling out immediately after, “Like watching.” You whined quietly. 

Jungkook had a wicked grin on his lips, “You like it? Being fucked by the wicked prince?” His thrusts were short, keeping his cock as deep inside you as he could, your walls clenched at the short snapped sensation, “Like it when I cum deep inside this pretty virgin cunt of yours?”

Pleasure was building rapidly in your body, your walls squeezing tightly around him each time, watching his long thick fingers rub into your clit, finding that sweet little spot that had you gasping a whine.

“Yes, yeah, fuck, mmm! Fuck Koo, gonna…!” Your body was contorting as his cock pushed all the way inside you once more.

“I remember that little mouth of yours our wedding night, remember wanting nothing more then to bend you over and stuff you full of cock,” Jungkook moaned, hips becoming sloppy, thrusts uneven, some slow, some rough, “Fuck you so hard all you’d be able to do was thank me. But look at you now.” 

Jungkook smiled against your shoulder, “My pretty wife letting me fuck her tiny little cunt, letting me ruin the little virgin dryad princess. Fuck yeah, that’s it, cum all over it my love. Cum all over this cock.”

You were moaning so loud, surely people out in the halls could hear, and it only turned Jungkook on further, his cock buried inside you with the need to make sure you kept moaning, needing others to hear, to know that you were his. 

His thrusts were short, keeping buried deep in your cunt as his fingers kept rubbing into the sweet spot of your clit, your walls rapidly clenching around his base as he buried into you once more before you came. 

Jungkook let out a loud moan as your walls squeezed him so tight he was unable to thrust, pleasure was contorting in every part of your body as you came all over his cock just as he wanted, your clit throbbing in pleasure as Jungkook tenderly rubbed into it, milking every last bit of pleasure he could.

“God I love the way your cunt wraps around me,” He murmured, eyes tightly shut at the sensation, what he had dreamed of for so long now, the feeling of your cunt squeezing tight around him, begging to be filled with his cum. 

The feeling was still foreign, having something warm and slightly sting as it roped inside you, his hands squeezing your thighs tight as he came, moaning softly in your shoulder, you both were heaving breathes.

Jungkook pressed a flutter of light kisses against your neck, fingers tracing your thighs, is fingerprints still prominent in them, “So that’s what you meant…” 

“Hm?” Jungkook hummed out, nose nudging your neck in a loving manner, his fingers tracing over the skin that was slowly discoloring. 

“You…once told me bruising could be attractive, is this what you meant?” You whispered, voice raspy a little humored. 

You could feel the tiny smile on your neck, “Maybe. Maybe not, do you find it attractive?” 

“Do you?” 

Jungkook’s fingers continued to trace over the marks, “When they’re mine,” He pressed a kiss against the shell of your ear, “They’re the most attractive.”

You had gotten distracted though, his cock slipping out of you and cum oozing from your entrance you squirmed in discomfort, your face felt warm at the lewd sight.

“Mmm, that’s even more attractive though,” Jungkook moaned softly, his index finger scooping it back up before pushing it back in making you squirm.

“Jungkook…!” You whined out, immediately closing your legs.

He chuckled as he pressed a kiss against your head, “Let me grab a washcloth and get you cleaned up.” 

Jungkook shuffled you out of his lap before standing up with a groan, grabbing his undershort that had never gotten worn last night as he put them on, grabbing a washcloth from the stool, walking back over to bed where you had shuffled, suddenly feeling incredibly exposed as you sat naked on his bed.

It didn’t matter if you both had just finished laying together and his cum dripped between your thighs. 

Jungkook looked down at you for a long moment before a smile curled on his lips, “Are you going to let me see?”

“I…can clean myself.” You replied flustered, unable to look at those pretty blue eyes of his. 

“What kind of partner would I be if I made you do that?” Jungkook snorted, grabbing your legs as he pulled you closer, it made you squeak now at the edge of the bed.

You thighs parting only a little for him, but he had quickly made it more as he pulled them further apart, his tongue grazing his lips at the sight before the warm wet cloth dragged over your thighs, his hands were attentive and gentle as he cleaned you up. 

Jungkook had gotten himself halfway dressed and had just gotten your slip on just in time for the timely knock on the door, Taehyun’s voice on the otherside.

Jungkook had allowed him to come in, bowing to you both before going to Jungkook’s wardrobe, “Would you like for me to send for a maid to help the Princess?” Taehyun asked, you could tell he had to have known something was up but obviously not about to ask. 

“No,” Jungkook replied, leaving your side as he walked over to Taehyun, “I’ll help her get ready for the day.” 

Taehyun said nothing more aside from going over the duties Jungkook would need to attend today as he got him dressed, you had fidgeted in bed, eyes glancing at the window as light began to filter in, brighter than usual. 

You would be expected to carry out your duties today as well, the rebuilding of the market had slowed down since winter had approached and Jeong Dae had warned you the building would be very slow in the winter, but to be patient. 

You also had to meet with a few noble houses today to discuss resources once more, just the idea exhausted you. It had been nearly a week since the incident and yet it felt as though a day hadn’t past. 

You hadn’t even noticed when the door had been shut. 

“You’re in your head again.” Jungkook frowned, staring down at you, fully dressed in black today.

“So much has happened since we married,” You frowned as you looked at the window once more, “It’s difficult to not these days.” 

You parted your lips but no words came, uncertain of how to express your feelings, Jungkook patiently waited as he turned away from you walking to your wardrobe, most of your clothes had been taken out, but evidently he had somehow managed to keep most of your winter wardrobe here. 

“I knew it would be difficult, when we married and I would move here, leaving my land behind. I had two years of mental preparation for what may happen,” You sighed softly as you glanced at your hands, flipping them over to look at your discolored palms, “I had mainly prepared myself to be killed here. And yet…somehow, it never occured to me that living might possibly be worse. That living and yet, unable to recognize myself, would be a thousand times worse than death.”

You felt alienated from yourself, perhaps deep down you always knew you were capable of murder, the rage so deep in your bones that certainly it would strike a god down, but to have done it? 

To go against everything your nation stood for? The oath you had so proudly taken as a little girl, your mothers eyes beaming down at you with pride. 

Jungkook set the material out on the bed he had gathered before kneeling down in front of you, gently taking your hands in his, “Or perhaps this is just another side of you, something different, something new, change is uncomfortable. Growth is painful. I remember my first time…” 

Your eyes slowly moved, meeting his as he frowned, “I was nothing more than a child, holding a sword too big, he was a grown man. It was one of our drill sergeants in training, he had despised the Jeon name and had taken to treating me as nothing more then dirt beneath his boots.”

Jungkook sighed, “He had been ruthlessly sparring with me, going as far as kicking me into the ground well past my attempt of surrender. And then he stopped, and just stared at him before laughing, saying I was pathetic, that I’d never live a day in battle. And like that he just turned his back and walked away.” 

Jungkook’s eyes dropped, “I don’t even know what possessed me, but he kept laughing as he called out to his little friend that he was done with the Jeon Scum, suddenly I had unsheathed the dagger in my hand and ran at him.” 

“And?” You whispered out.

Jungkook shrugged, “I don’t remember much of it anymore, I’ve been told I stabbed him over fourteen times though, I was covered in blood by the end of it and I only remember crying in the bathtub while washing myself.” 

Your heart painfully squeezed for him, he couldn’t have been older than ten? Nobody would ever be fit to kill, let alone a child, “Were there consequences?” 

Jungkook shook his head, “Areum had given me a light slap on the wrist, extra watch duty, less rations, things of that nature. But being the prince gave me certain privilege,” He a bitter smile grew on his face, “I think that was the first time my father ever told me he was proud of me. Said I had great promise on the battlefield and that I was meant to rule.” 

“You say it with such disdain.” You frowned. 

Jungkook sighed as he stood up, grabbing the dress he had picked out for you, a purple dress with long thick velvet sleeves, the material was sheer and thin but he had grabbed a thick under slip to pair with it. 

Jungkook pulled the slip over your head, “Do you want my honest words on it?” 

“Of course I do.” You whispered out, eyes meeting his as he pulled the material down. 

“I’ve never had the desire to rule,” Jungkook said it no more than a whisper, “I don’t want the crown, I don’t want to be king.” He ushered it as if it was a crime, but suddenly he looked a little relieved as if this was the first he had ever voiced it, “I don’t want those responsibilities that come with it…”

Jungkook held your dress in his hands as his brows furrowed, “...I don’t want to be like my father.”

He spoke it as if that was the underlying reason, you stood up in front of him before wrapping your arms around his waist to hug him, “You’re nothing like him.” You whispered out, his hands wrapping around you as he squeezed you tight, nose burying in your hair. 

Jungkook broke away only a little as his forehead pressed against yours, “But then I think about you, crown on top of your head, the way you visit the outer districts, redistribute what's left that the royals waste, how you sacrificed something so sacred to you…” His hand grabbed your own, pulling it towards his lips as he pressed a kiss against your palm, “And I think about how you were made to be a queen, and if I were to rule by your side…then maybe it wouldn’t be so bad.” 

“Truthfully?” You whispered back, looking up at him with a soft smile, “It doesn’t matter to me, as long as I’m with you.”

Jungkook only smiled, fingers tracing your neck as he gave a flutter of kisses to the palm of your hand before he let go of you, grabbing the gown as he helped you change, tentatively lacing the back of your dress before turning you around. 

A sort of satisfied look on his face as if he had made the right choice, “Leave your hair down today, it looks nice like this.” 

“Jungkook…” You gave him a look, you felt incomplete if you didn’t have your hair braided or styled at all. 

“Indulge me today.” Jungkook replied with a sort of saccharine dripping off his tongue you had never heard before, pulling the velvet gloves over your hands.

You hated how much he had so easily convinced you as you sighed, shaking your head, “Very well, anything else.” 

He nodded walking to your jewelry box once more, “I didn’t say anything, but it didn’t mean that I didn’t notice.” Jungkook walked back over to you, gently grabbing your left hand lifting it up as he held out the large black ring, your wedding ring, “Wear it with pride.” 

Jungkook slid it on your ring finger making you smile as you glanced down at it, you had worn it a few times in the past, but it felt different letting him put it on you.

Your lips slowly fell though, “...I’m not ready for today.” You whispered out, Jungkook had been completely taken you away from your sickening thoughts for the last twelve hours, and soon you would have to return to reality. 

Jungkook frowned as his fingers traced along your neck, “It’ll be over soon my love.” He ushered quietly before leaning in, pressing a chaste kiss against your lips, your eyes closing as you leaned into his warm touch, fingers curling around your throat as you let out the softest moan. 

Jungkook refused to let this go further though, letting his hand drop as he broke the kiss, “If the day gets hard, you know where to find me.” 

Your day had become tones of gray, monotonous without having even realized it, your mind was elsewhere and nobles had looked at you with mixed reactions, some in fear, some in disgust. After all, they had all seen you, seen what you had done, what you were capable of.

You had been hold up in the library the last hour and a half though, reading up on some of the policies for building that had a headache beginning to turn up in your head.

Flipping the page you had went to drink your tea only to find it ice cold, the fire crackled at the far end of the library, but here in the nook you had found it towards the window was cold. 

Time had passed more than you had realized when you found your husband standing at the front of the table, looking at you expectantly. 

You glanced up from your book, “Are you finished with your duties already?” He usually worked later than this.

Jungkook’s nose wrinkled, “I’ve been done for over an hour, it’s nearing seven Y/n.” 

Your eyes widened as you glanced out the window, realizing it was dark outside before you looked back at him, “I’m sorry I didn’t even realize…”

Jungkook rounded the table, fingers dragging to your book before shutting it, “Enough of burying yourself in work.”

You frowned before you glanced up at him, “Do you have something in mind for us then?”

“Dinner,” Jungkook replied with a tilt of his head, “But first come, we should check on Fenrir and…you’ll enjoy the walk.” 

You took the hand he offered you before hooking onto his arm as you both walked down the hall, it was a quiet night but the glances maids and nobles alike didn’t surpass you, the looks never went away. 

You tried your best to ignore them as you entered to the courtyard, lips parting as you both stepped out.

Large fluffy snowflakes fell from the sky, almost shimmering against firelight as they softly landed on the ground, small piles of powder already forming as you looked around, enchanted at the sight, “It’s snowing…!” Your lips twisted into a smile, “I’ve never seen snowflakes so large…” 

Jungkook’s eyes softened on you as he smiled, “I figured so, it’s our first of many snowfall to come this winter. I thought you might like to see it.” 

Jungkook had led you down to the stables but your eyes were still captivated by the sky, filled with little white puffs that gracefully landed onto the ground, a loud whine however brought you back as you frowned. 

“Oh my sweet boy,” You ushered out softly at the sight of seeing Fenrir limp towards you, large tail wagging behind him as you reached out for his face, tenderly rubbing his snout before planting a kiss atop his head, “I’m sorry I haven’t visited you today.” 

“I saw him this morning, I let him loose while watching the guards spar,” Jungkook said, “He’s healing, by the time we travel for Yule he’ll be good as new.” 

He reached out, giving a firm pat to Fenrir’s side, “We’ll be taking him with us?” You glanced back at him in surprise. 

“Wolves will be roaming for food no doubt by the time we leave, it would be most safe to have him with us to scare off any predators.” Jungkook replied with a nod, “...He’s also bound to you, the grief he’d give royal staff would be something I’d never hear the end of from my father.” 

You gave him a guilty smile, “I wouldn’t want to part with him either.” Fenrir had managed to lick your face causing a quiet giggle to escape you as you leaned away from him, lovingly stroking his neck. 

You had gone inside his pen to straighten out his blankets and to pull out one more thicker one, now that it was snowing you were certain the winter nights would be long and cold, you truly did wish the castle would let him stay inside. 

After spending a few minutes with Fenrir you let out a soft sigh, wishing to not have to depart from him so soon, but your duties had kept you all day, and tomorrow would most likely not be much better. 

Fenrir as if sensing this let out a whine, his ears flattening against his head and his tail fell, “Don’t look like that,” You whispered out, your heart aching for him as you rubbed his ears, “I’ll be back tomorrow, and maybe Jungkook will let you out again.”

“We’ll see,” Jungkook replied neutral, “Inside Fenrir.” 

It was a soft command the Fenrir hesitated to listen too, “Inside.” Jungkook repeated more firm making the wolf whine once more as he went back into his pen, making circles before he laid down, another high pitched whine escaping him. 

“I’ll be back soon.” You whispered before kissing his head once more, closing his gate as you tried to not let his whines make you sad. 

Jungkook had extended his elbow out to you once more as you took it, sighing with a frown as you gave the pen one last look, “It’s only a day, he’ll survive.” 

“I still don’t know why we can’t keep him in the castle…” Your words trailed off at the sight ahead. 

A silvery cloaked figured and…Wheein, bundled up in a green cloak, cheeks rosy pink from the chill as you both paused, it hadn’t been fair that you hadn’t even gotten to see her since she had been trialed. 

You had immediately left Jungkook’s side, “Wheein!” 

Tears filling your eyes as she met you halfway, “Y/n! I’m so, so incredibly sorry!” She whispered out as you both embraced, tears of joy, tears of relief, you weren’t sure, but seeing her in person, being able to tightly hug her. 

It had all suddenly rushed in your mind, that what you had committed, why you had done it, it wasn’t just for your own survival, but it was for the survival of someone else, your arms squeezed around her. 

You broke away from her, grabbing her hands in our own as you both looked at one another, Wheein immediately noticing your tiredness, “Are you okay?” She whispered out. 

“You were nearly executed, I should be asking you that.” You frowned. 

“But you…” Wheein couldn’t bring herself to say the words, the silence loud as you looked away from her. 

Your eyes dropped down to her own gloved hands before finally back at her, “You are alive, and so am I. I will be okay…with time.” 

“You should be at home resting with your family Wheein.” Jungkook had decided to step into the conversation, words softly reprimanding.

“I couldn’t stay away any longer, not after everything that has happened. I owe you both my life, and I wanted to give my thanks for all you have done for me. As well as…” Wheein frowned disapprovingly as she turned to the cloaked figure.

Taehyung. 

“I’ve heard about the ill-spoken words.” Wheein stared him down as she let go of her hands, taking a few steps back as she gestured the man over. 

Taehyung frowned, scratching his cheek as he shuffled in front of you, “What I accused you of Princess…I cannot take back my words, but all I can do is ask for your forgiveness.” 

You gaped as he dropped to one knee, bowing his head, “I spoke without thinking and let my emotions get the better of me.” 

“Taehyung…” You whispered softly, true his words had wounded you but you couldn’t entirely blame him, you had no idea what would do if Jungkook was in such a similar situation, “While your words hurt, being upset like that is understandable. We were all afraid of what would happen, I would never hold it against you.”

“Stand up Taehyung,” Jungkook spoke, his eyes not quite as kind as yours but it seemed he had a similar line of thought, “While your words were border treason…” He trailed off, glancing down at you briefly, “If the love of my life was also on death's doors, there’s no telling the hell I would raise. 

“Love of your life?” Wheein squeaked out, clearly embarrassed at the comparison, but it made a soft smile tug on your lips.

Taehyung bowed at this, “I won’t speak out of line again. I still hope to one day serve as your hand Your Highness.” 

Jungkook snorted, “We’ll see about that. Now you need to escort Wheein back-”

“With all do respect,” Wheein spoke up, a small shy smile on her face, “I would like to return from my leave early, I would like nothing more then to be back in service to the Princess once more.” 

Jungkook frowned disapprovingly but you had spoke before he did, “You are always welcomed to return Wheein, your company would be a light that I need right now.”

Jungkook sighed, “Very well, then return to your quarters for the night,” He began walking, pulling you along with him, “And we’ll see you in the morning.”

Snow fell quietly and you could hear the owls trill out, your heart feeling just a little more light, the road ahead would be only just as treacherous, but with Jungkook by your side, and the friends you had made. 

You could only hope it would be enough. 

[staygolddindjarin]

Grief

Chapter One: History

Din Djarin x Reader x a bunch of other star wars characters

Series Summary: Raised on Mandalore, born into a bloodline of warriors, no one ever expected for the daughter of a Clan leader to go rogue. Leaving the life of security and making the journey to fight in the war against the empire meant many things... giving up the way of the Mandalore, and giving up a solid future. A future that involves an arranged marriage to a foundling from another clan.

Chapter Warnings: Oof this ones kinda angsty right off the bat- ⚠️ attempted suicide?? Kinda?? Age gap (reader is underage, but don't worry it's just for the sake of backstory and also there's no spicy, so...) mentions of death and afterlife, fluff if you like squint really hard

A/n: hello there... I'm sorry to inflict tumblr with this atrocity, but wattpad had to deal with it so tumblr can too. I wrote a different version of this on my wp with an OC name, but I know that not everyone cares for that so this won't include that. Also this series will be such a slow burn... prepare yourself ahead of time because it's going to be agonizing

Words: 6.3k+

SERIES MASTERLIST UNDER CONSTRUCTION

Part 1/?

"Pehea gar mar'eyir ni...."

How did you find me....

He came and sat beside me, the sound of metal scraping agaisnt the ground when he knelt first.

"Gar cuyir te shi solus tion'ad comes olar jii.  Ni kar'taylir gar jate'shya gar mirdir Ni vaabir," He responded.

You are the only one who comes here now. I know you better than you think I do.

I heaved a deep breath before letting it out in an exhausted sigh. Speaking in my native tongue was something I always appreciated, but now sitting here it felt nearly uncomfortable, but there was a reason for that.

"I wanted to be alone," The words from my mouth were no longer in my language, and he shifted beside me, trying to convey his confusion without a word.

"Care to elaborate?" He suggested, his asking tone was harsh... but then so was everything else about him.

I didn't really feel like explaning my feelings at the moment. I didn't want to focus on the very thing he was asking about. Even though he wasn't absolutely sure of what he was asking.

"You wouldn't understand if I told you," I trailed off.

"Try me." His voice wasn't any softer, but the sincerity he rarely showed had seeped into his tone.

"I really don't think it's a good idea. You really won't understand, and for all I know you could make things worse off for me than they already are," I didn't like it when he let his guard down around me. I didn't like getting closer to him, even though I was supposed to.

"I can't force you. Whatever it is, I wouldn't get myself too worked up," He sounded hurt, but I couldn't bring myself to believe it was by my words. He was too strong to be wounded by such trivial things.

He moved in his seat, beginning to stand, and for some reason the thought of being alone like I had originally intended seemed like a horrible idea.

I reached out to grip his arm. I kept my gaze forward, knowing that even if I looked at him I could not see his eyes.

"Stay."

He didn't hesitate. He sat down again, and I no longer felt guilt for the hurt in his voice a moment prior.

We sat for a moment in silence, just looking over the cliffside, into the deep canyons that wove in between settlements and encampments of our tribes and clans.

"I don't want this life," I whispered. I had only half hoped he would be paying enough attention to hear me. My voice was soft enough that he might not have.

"What do you mean?"

I squeezed my eyes shut, regretting the choice to even say what I did. I felt a shiver go down my arms, and I felt the wind come into the old open cavern, making the air around me chill. My arms were exposed, for I didn't expect the cold tonight. I didn't expect to be here this long.

"I'll turn sixteen in four days. I will either take the creed, or deny everything I've ever been taught. I'd leave if I do that," I finally gave a glance in his direction. He looked back at me, or at least the beskar did. I could never tell where his eyes were.

"You want to leave?" That pained tone of his voice had returned. The one I felt guilty for without actually believing I had done anything to cause it.

I did. I wanted to get off this planet. Away from the responsibility of becoming what everyone expected of me.

"I have to. It's the only way I will ever be at peace, but I'm not sure if I truly have the strength to stand in front of my family and deny the creed."

I could run away. I had some friends who were planning to jump a transport and join the rebellion against the empire.

They had offered me to be apart of this, but I had refused, believing that I would follow in my ancestors footsteps and take the creed. My father had already provided the beskar for my helmet to be made. It was already in the armourer's possession. All that was left was for me to come of age.

"Where did you go, just now?" He noticed my lack of attentiveness to my current reality, and brought me back to where I was. On the drafty cliffside, with my legs hanging over the end.

"Nowhere. I was just thinking about the future," I had admitted. Though I felt the need to stay emotionally distant from him, and not let myself develop a closeness, I knew I could trust him with my life, which is why I even revealed these things to him in the first place.

"What do you think your future will look like?" The tone that brought me guilt had again left his voice, but was replaced by something else... was it fear? I could not even think of theorizing that he could ever be scared. He was one of the bravest in his clan. Never had he shown an ounce of fear to anyone or anything. How stupid of me to even wonder.

"Merc and his crew are gonna stow away on a crate transport tomorrow. He has contact with the rebellion. He said that I could go with them if I was up for it," I looked down, almost embarrassed at admitting a plan of escape to someone so loyal to this place. Even though he wasn't born on this planet, and even though he wasn't a blood member of any tribe, the foundling was more of a mandalorian than I could ever be.

"You've agreed?"

"No. Not yet," I shook my head. I didn't feel like my reasons were valid. Having him sit beside me, and ask me these things made me realize that I needed to explain myself further.

"Din, I want to be free. I don't want to spend the rest of my life under a code that is so restricting to me, binding my every decision. Everything I'd do would have to be following after the creed."

He didn't respond, and even though his features were shrouded under the reflective surface of his beskar, I could tell he was thinking of something.

"I'm not yet sixteen, but when I am... I don't want to be locked down under a piece of metal. I don't want to have to be bound to this planet or a clan. I want to go some place far away and be something that is different than what everyone expects of me. I want to fight battles against the empire, I want to make my own rules. I want to be free to marry who I love, and not be betrothed to whoever my father chooses for me," I finished off my speech about freedom, but realized the last sentence too late. I should have chosen a better set of words.

Din's head hung down, looking at the wrist guards he wore. He shook his head back and forth and before I could interject, he began speaking.

"So that's why...." he trailed off. I was honestly too scared to say anything now. Why must I speak so bluntly and hurtfully honest to people? Perhaps it is because I had never gotten close to him that now I had no fear in what I said to his face.

"If the reason you plan to leave your family is because of me, then-"

"No," I said harshly, catching him off guard. I was usually snippy with others, but I had never before shown a tendency to be angry or intense with my speech. "Believe me, this has nothing to do with you."

"You have always shown enthusiasm towards coming of age. It's only now, when we are arranged, that you show any difference," He brought on certainty in his voice that I nearly couldn't deny, but the truth was... it really wasn't about him. "I can converse with your father, the rest of the clan... I will find a way to break it off if it will make you stay."

"Din, I don't want you to do that. If you don't believe me when I tell you that you are not the cause of this, then so be it, but I will not have you ruining your good name in my favor, when it won't even stop me," The heat of the moment provided actual, physical warmth for me in the time I was running my mouth off, but now that I had finished, and begun to calm down, I felt the freezing air on my arms again, wrapping them around myself and drawing my legs closer to generate more body heat.

"Are you cold?" He changed the subject, needing something- anything else to say.

"Its not exactly warm up here," My voice was low and sarcastic, but at hearing my words, Din stood up and stepped behind me. Before I even had a chance to ask him what he was doing, I felt his thick woolen cape being draped around my shoulders.

I smiled softly, not even a real, full smile. More of just a small tug from the side of my lips. My real smile was saved for later.

"Thank you."

He nodded as he sat back down, letting his legs fall over the cliffside.

"So you're gonna leave with them, aren't you?" His head turned to face me, but I couldn't dare try and stare at the beskar while thinking of what I would do. This choice was the beginning of the rest of my life.

"I think so," I didn't think. Thinking was what I had been doing too much of. Now I was certain. This was my choice. I was going to start new, and become something different. I may have been born on mandalore, but I was definitely not a mandalorian.

I had a rush of confidence come through me until I remembered what this meant. It all hit me like a dropship coming out of hyperspace. What was I thinking?

"No," I whispered. Din didn't understand my sudden discouragement, but he would soon.

"Merc and his friends already denied the creed. He's a foundling. They all are," I started to tear up as I realized what would happen to my family. The loss of a child in a clan is bad enough, but my family hadn't done anything to dessrve this. They were caring. They had shown me love. They had given me the best life I could ask for on a planet with such a religion.

"Second thoughts?" He asked genuinely, scooting closer beside me as to maybe get more information from my body language, or even my breathing.

"I can't do this. My family would be ruined. If I ran away, they would be punished for it," I felt tears coming up in my eyes. My clan was good to me. The people were kind, and I found solace there. Even if I had always dreamt about something bigger, I couldn't bear to let ruin come upon my family name. It wasn't fair to let that happen, especially when the only thing in the way was my own selfishness. "I can't leave my family."

I let the tears stream down my face, not even bothering to wipe them away. The contrast of the cold wind on my hot, tear streaked face had helped to calm me down a little.

"If you plan on staying, you understand that I am apart of your future here, don't you?"

"Din, I already told you before... you are not the reason I want to leave," I tried my best to keep myself together, but with my wet cheeks and red, puffy eyes, I didn't see how that could be an option.

What if there was another way to freedom?

I sat, trying to think of some stories that the other clan members would talk about.

"Din?"

He hummed in response, keeping his gaze on me.

"Has anyone in your clan ever mentioned afterlife?" I maybe should have taken a different approach to this. He seemed to be rendered speechless by my topic of conversation, but I had to ask.

"You mean after death?" He asked me and I nodded.

"I've heard some stories."

I thought about how it had been described to me. A paradise, with never-ending happiness, and unlimted freedom. Freedom.

"After you die, you appear in the world as another life. You can do whatever you want and no one has consequences for any of it. It's like a world without chaos. Everything is perfect," I remember every word as it comes out of my mouth. The words that were spoken to me, more like taught to me when I was a bit younger by the elders who had retired from their days of battle.

"It sounds too easy." He said, ripping me out of my fantasy.

"That's the point. You don't have to worry about anything or anyone, because you can do as you please, and everything will still be the same. All you have to do is die...."

"Like being reborn into a different world."

"Exactly."

I hesitated to take my safety blaster from it's holster under my hip, and when I did, I looked at it before pointing it out in the distance and testing the trigger. It shot a blast of lazer energy out into the air, landing somewhere beneath us in the canyon.

I decided that this was not an act to pursue at the moment, for Din was sitting right beside me, and the sight of watching a young girl pull the trigger against her own head might be an unpleasant one. Even for him, though he has seen worse.

I put the blaster back in it's holster and stand up from the rocky ground. Din follows suit, looking down at me with quiet concern. I wouldn't have known it until now, but I wondered if he had come to care for me at all during these last few weeks we had been betrothed.

I'd known him the majority of my life anyways, so I knew he must have felt some sort of attachment to me, but in what form, I hadn't ever cared to ask.

He kept breathing heavily as he looked down at me for a few moments, and it almost sounded like he wanted to ask me something. The question was on the tip of his tongue, but he couldn't bring himself to utter the words.

"Here's your cape back," I slid the material off my shoulders, trying to hand it back to him, but he pushed it back towards me.

"You should keep it for now. The sun is nearly down, it will only grow colder."

He reached his gloved hand up to my face, and I could swear I felt the warmth of his hand beneath the coarse leather.

I only nodded, and leaned forward, trying to lean my head into him, but he carefully stopped me, his hands on my shoulders. Instead he rested his helmet against my forhead, and the cold beskar wasn't such a bad feeling as it rested there.

"I won't let you down. I promise." He said, clueless of my plans for later tonight, after the tribes were asleep, and no one would be at the cliffside.

"I know you won't. You're a good man, Din Djarin." I paused, trying to gather better words. "A true Mandalorian if there ever was one."

The moment didn't last any longer because of how frigid the air was becoming. It was warmer back with the tribes, they always had a fire burning.

Without another word, we both left the old artillery cavern and hiked down the side of the canyon to get back to our own clan territory.

Once I was at the edge of mine, I turned around to utter a simple goodbye, and found that he was very close behind me. His hand came up and rested on my shoulder, lightly squeezing it.

Maybe this was the last time we would see each other. Tonight I would envoke my plan to freedom, to rebirth. Perhaps we would meet in another life. Perhaps I would have just enough memory of this life to try and find him in the next one. One where I will have freedom.

Tonight I had gotten closer to the metal clad Mandalorian than I ever had before. I didn't regret it. He listened to what I had to say, and there were few who ever did.

His hand fell from it's place on my shoulder, but I didn't let him walk away yet. I pulled him into an embrace, feeling him tense up for a moment before reciprocating. It took him a few seconds to let out the breath he was holding in, but when he did, he found himself relaxing into the comfort.

"Goodbye, Din," My voice wasn't sad, or overly sensitive in any way. I figured it actually sounded quite optimistic.

"You know I'll see you tomorrow." He said, reminding me of the clan meetings. Once a month the clans would gather and each tribe would go over the agenda for whatever was to happen soon. Battles were normally discussed, but tomorrow, me and a few of the others in the other clans would be talked about. Our ceremonial coming of age where we would take the creed.

"Yeah... right. Don't come looking for me, I don't plan on showing up," I said quietly, careful in anyone was to hear me.

He pulled me back at arms length and looked at me, but his black blast shield hid his features and I could not tell if he thought I was crazy or not.

"How come?" His voice was also quiet, as we noticed some of my clan passing by to get to the fire.

"Don't worry about it. You'll still see me tomorrow," I lied. Or did I? Everyone within the five neighboring tribes would probably see me tomorrow.

He nodded, pulling us all the way apart and stepping back.

"Good."

He didn't look like he was gonna walk away until I had gone into the hub of my clan's small village. I turned around and walked towards the large fire, seeing my mother. Her helmet was unmistakable. The pattern of the strill engraved into the side of the beskar. It was her signet. A worthy kill of her days in battle. I would never have one. I walked towards her when she noticed me.

Her modulated voice let out a small chuckle, before I stepped beside her.

"It is well to see you spending time with Din Djarin. Me and your father were afraid you may not have been fond of him," She kept her gaze on the fire, speaking only loud enough for me to hear her, given that the other mandalorians of our village were also gathering around the fire, conversing with each other the same way we were.

"I am fond of him, why would I not be?" I was unsure of what she meant. Sure, I had been keeping a distance between us since my father had arranged our marriage, but I never had shown that I wasn't fond of him. I was polite, and gave him attention when it was asked of me.

"Whenever I or your father bring up the discussion of your eighteenth birthday, you always seem to act like it's the plague," She was smirking under her helmet, and I could tell. I could always tell what face she made underneath her metal covering.

"Maybe it's the fact that I dread getting married at all. I'm not opposed to Din, though," I convinced her. I wouldn't have to try and do that again after tonight.

"Whatever it is, your father will be pleased to know you and him were in each other's company. Although I will stray from telling him you two were alone... you were alone, weren't you?" She turned her metal covered head, trying to figure out from the look on my face.

"Yes," I answered truthfully, knowing there was no point in lying. No damage could be done at this point, except for maybe towards Din.

"And what were you both doing?" She tilted her head, and I let mine drop. I would tell her the truth, because nothing bad could come from it. Or could it.

"We were just talking... about the future," I answered.

"Your marriage..." She suggested, and I nodded, knowing that it did come up in the conversation.

"Yes."

"I shudder to ask if consummating was apart of this conversation," She looked back at the fire, knowing how red my cheeks would turn and how embarrassed I would be.

"No, nothing like that. I can promise you," I shivered at the thought. Din was a good man, but I didn't necessarily need to be letting thoughts like that intrude my mind.

Everyone else around the fire seemed to be distracted by the glowing flames, and my mother was soon the same, so I suggested my absense.

"I'm going to go in for the night, get some rest. Big meeting tomorrow..." I said before reaching out and squeezing her hand tightly.

She nodded to me, and I took my leave, walking towards our living quarters on the opposite side of camp.

I wasn't looking where I was going, and brushed my shoulder against Merc, who was with Gander and Shyloh.

"Sorry, didn't see you coming," I told him, but he shook his head, optiing ti ask me a question instead.

"Don't worry about it, I was looking for you anyway... Did you think about the offer? We leave at sunrise on the north delivery tarmac," He informed me, but I didn't have an answer. I wasn't staying here, but I wasn't leaving either.

"You'll know if I show up," I gave him a smirk, partially just because I was glad to see someone's actual face tonight, and not just a metal facade.

"We can't wait up for you, just know that."

I nodded, letting them get by. Maybe I could go with them. Live this life freely without starting another one.

No.

My family will not be able to handle that. It's better off if I'm dead. At least they won't go on to believe that I betrayed them, turning my back on all loyalty they had ever taught me. They would nevwr wonder if I ever loved them or planned on keeping their wishes.

I could start fresh. They wouldn't have to worry about me anymore. And I wouldn't have to worry anymore either. Rebirth.

I went straight to bed, clutching the woolen blanket beside me close to my chest.

For some reason I felt a pang of guilt in my chest. Something that made the sting of salty tears swell in my eyes. I knew that what I was doing was best, but yet I started having a hard time justifying something so drastic. They would get on fine without me, wouldn't they? They would go on living by the creed. This is the way. They will find a way to go on without me, like they did before I was born. Din will be arranged with another girl as soon as I'm gone. Everything will be alright.

The wetness that spilled over my eyes and down my face lasted hours, even though my mind kept telling itself that it was at peace.

It was in the dead of night, when I gathered a few of my belongings into a knapsack, throwing it over my shoulder before leaving out the tattered window of my private space.

I ventured to the canyon, with the moons lighting my way. The planet was never truly dark, due to the brightness and the number of shinning moons, all the color silver.

I set my knapsack down on the edge beside me. By the end of this, I would be at the bottom, waiting to be found the next day. I just hoped it wouldn't be anyone I knew. Of course, the number of people who ever came out here was only two. Me, and Din Djarin.

I hoped he wouldn't find me. I hoped it would be someone from another tribe that was flying over, and happened to spot something at the base of the cliffside.

I pulled my flask to my mouth, taking a large drink. A bit spilled onto my chin, and I wiped it off, feeling the breeze on my face. It was much colder now than earlier tonight. I wasn't sure if I should pull the blanket from my belongings and wrap it around myself, or skip the process of making myself comfortable and just get this over with.

I leaned over, looking straight at the ground, hundreds of feet below me. My heart started racing, and I got scared. Why shouldn't I be? I have every right to be absolutely terrified. I closed my eyes, trying to scoot myself over the edge inch by inch, seeing if I would just drop.

I nearly panicked when my bottom hit a crack in the ground and I thought I was going over. My breath hitched in my throat and I instantly pulled myself back.

"This isn't as easy as I thought it would be," I murmered, beginning to feel the emotional side of everything rise to the surface again. It didn't help that with the absolute silence that circled around me, I couldn't have any single thing to distract me.

I stood to my feet, wrapping my arms around myself to ease the goosebumps rising on my skin from the frigid air.

I stood right on the edge, lifting a foot over and leaning forward, but before I could fall, I again caught myself, the adrenaline working overtime in my system and beginning to heat me up.

That wasn't going to work either. If I could, I would put a blaster to my temple and pull the trigger, but then it wouldn't look like an accident.

I paced around back and forth a few times, trying to calm myself down, to stop the whimpering and to make my tears cease. It wasn't working. I just needed to get this over and done with. A new life, with endless possibilities was waiting for me on the other side. Freedom was on the other side.

I wiped my face, even though it didn't stop me from crying, but it helped me to see clearer. I backed up, into the cavern, all the way inside until my back hit the wall of the ex artillery carvern. This was it. A new beginning. Rebirth. New life. Freedom.

I ran as fast as I could toward the edge, my eyes closed. I could feel the wind blowing against me even harder with my speed, and I could tell the edge was drawing near. Every step I took, I felt as though it was my last one.

I finally felt my foot hit the edge, but then I never fell. Instead, I was tackled to the ground. Whoever landed on top of me was heavy enough to hold me down, because half of me was hanging off the edge of the cliff.

I didn't dare even open my eyes. This was a sign. Someone stopped me.

I clinged onto whoever it was, and knew almost instantly who was laid over me when I heard him groan.

I cried even harder, my head buried in his armor clad chest, and my arms around his neck and his torso.

He was holding me tightly, one hand cradled my head into his neck, and the other firmly gripped my waist. He rolled us both over and I swear I felt him shaking.

"What were you thinking?" He stressed, his grip on me tightening as if he was scared to let go. I was scared too. I didn't want him to let go.

"You have to talk to me..."

I heaved a deep breath, deep enough to steady my voice so my whimpering didn't interfere with my words.

"I want out. I need to get out," I cracked in the middle of saying so few words, but they conveyed the message I was trying to get through.

"I can get you out, I promise.... But please don't ever try that again," His voice was full of worry, and as I suspected, he was trembling in fear.

"I'm sorry..." I cried some more, realizing that what I had done was now the biggest mistake I ever made, even if I was saved.

"It's okay. You're okay. I've got you," He spoke to me, my voice quieting down as my sobbing came to a slow halt.

I lifted my face from where I had burrowed it into his neck, looking up at him. I didn't know what his expression was, but something told me it was fearful, and worrysome.

"I have to get out of here," I repeated again. The last day or so it became my mantra, and would leave my lips often, even just to myself. Mostly just to myself.

"You're going to. You're going with Merc... when are they leaving?" He asked, his arms still around me like mine were for him.

"At sunrise. They're gonna jump a delivery ship on the north tarmac," I explained, my voice was now hoarse and thick, due to not only all the crying I had done, but also the cold night air that had entered my lungs.

"Sunrise isn't for a few hours..." he let me know, and I nodded, knowing we shouldn't probably leave yet, for the walk to the north tarmac wasn't very long from here.

"Din, if I leave, my family is going to get the fire for my decision. I can't let that happen," I told him, my voice had become more firm, and I needed to convey the importance of how much this meant to me.

"I give you my word, that as long as I live, nothing will happen to your family," He swore, and I could just feel his eyes staring into mine. So much so that for the first time since he put that helmet on, I knew where his eyes were.

"I trust you. And I know that you'll always keep your word," I nodded, a small smile finally forming on my face.

Since it got fairly quiet, and we were still entangled together,  I scooted off of Din and opted instead to take the seat beside him.

"I should tell you some things before I go. I just don't want to leave anything unresolved," I admitted, and he stayed silent, waiting for me to continue.

"I know this might sound horrible, but I hated the idea of getting too close to you. It was like if I had formed an emotional bond with you, I wouldn't be able to leave anymore. And the last thing on my mind had been to stay. I've wanted freedom for a while now, I was just always too scared to say anything. And when my father told me that you and him had come to an agreement for arranging a marriage.... it's like it all became more real to me. My freedom would be taken in just days. The creed of mandalore is sacred, and it's truly an amazing thing... but it isn't for everyone."

He sat and took everything in. All the words that just spewed from my mouth like I had been holding them in for ages went against everything I had ever learned. Everything that had ever been put into my mind was the opposite of what I wanted.

"You're young. You want more than what the creed can offer you. I think you'll be able to find what you want wherever you're going," He said, I knew there was more, for he didn't even mention anything that I had said about not wanting to be close to him, but when he stayed silent, I knew he was finished, and that I still had more to say.

"Din, I wanted to tell you that if I had to be married, I wouldn't have minded it being you," I admitted. I would leave no stone unturned before I was to just pick up and leave forever... maybe not forever, maybe someday I would return to my family, to Din.

"I can't say I don't feel the same," He seemed to become stiff next to me, but I soon found the reason when he suddenly reached for my hand with his gloved one.

I took it proudly, intertwining our finhers together.

"You know, I was only an eight year old kid when you took the creed. I have so many memories of you yourself, but whenever I recall them... I can't see your face. I've completely forgotten what you look like," I laughed a bit, though it was quite a sad thing actually. I could not remember him in a way that wasn't covered in metal. I remembered that he was a boy once, and that he would play with all the younger children in the clan set next to his. He played with me and the kids I lived next to. He was a lively, energetic boy. Always doing something... sometimes causing mischievous acts. He was so different now. But the change wasn't bad. Since he'd taken the creed he has been the most noble, fearsome, and trustworthy member of his clan. Completely honorable in every sense of the word.

"I don't look like I used to. It wouldn't do you any good to remember anyways," He chuckled under his helmet, and it brought a smile to hear the melodic sound.

"Well, if I'd stayed long enough to marry you I would find out for myself," I leaned my head on his shoulder, feeling comfort by his presence. If I had made the absolute decision to leave this planet earlier, I could have let myself grow a relationship with him. Romantic or not, he was easy to talk to, and I trusted him. He was a friend to me, and I never imagined more, but now his presence was just something that put me at such ease.

"Do you think you'll ever come back?" He pondered, seeing as just the tiniest moonrays shown down into the canyon ahead.

"Someday. I'll comeback and repay you."

"For what?"

"Saving my life," I replied. My attempt to throw my own life away had been pushed away but I had to bring it up. I owed him my life.

"Anyone would have done the same if they had seen," He insisted, and I shook my head.

"How did you even know I was out here?" My curiosity got the better of me, and I asked for an explanation.

"I couldn't sleep, I took a walk through Ronion until I found myself here. I saw you across from the mesa on the south side... I saw you lift your foot over the edge, I knew what you were trying to do," He said, his grip on my hand got tighter almost instantly.

"Thank you. If you hadn't been there, I would be at the bottm of this canyon." I let so much seriousness onto my voice, and it didn't sound like me.

"Don't thank me yet... not until I get you on the tarmac,"

We sat in silence after that, just looking out over the horizon. When the slightest bit of light hit the edge of the planet, we stood to our feet, gathering my knapsack and begining the journey to the north delivery tarmac.

We were there in no time, and before I could even look for them, Merc and his crew were in sight. They were all sitting with their backs against some cargo imports, waiting for the transport to arrive.

"Well, well, well... look at what the shriek hawk dragged in," Shyloh said, gesturing to me and Din.

"Djarin, I didn't expect to see you here," Merc raised an eyebrow at the sight.

"I'm just here to make sure she gets onto the transport safely," He assured them. I looked out of the corner of my eye, and in the brighter horizon I was able to see a cargo ship coming into the landing area.

"Our rides here," I said, and they all jumped up. Since the ships were automatically run, and don't even require droids, it was often very easy to hop aboard and be carried to another destination. Of course, there were only a few who ever wanted to leave.

I myself hadn't ever left Mandalore, neither had I traveled much even on the planet. Only a few trips to visit the the markets with my father. I never even went into the city, for it was told that in the city lived Mandalorians who did not keep the creed. The tribes were convinced that they hadn't actually ever taken the oath, and just wore the armor for the sake of doing it.

The ship's doors opened, pulling me out of my thoughts, and a conveyer belt folded down to let the cargo units be carried out onto the tarmac for later pickup.

"Alright, it's time to head out," Gander said, slinging his knapsack over his shoulder and boarding the transport.

The rest followed after him, but I still had one thing left to do. 

Din looked at me, waiting for me to join the others, but I came close to him one last time.

"You promise my family will be taken care of?" I asked, to which he simply answered with a firm nod. However the look on my face gave him reason to believe that his answer wasn't good enough, so he spoke instead.

"I give you my word. If they are not taken care of, I will let you strike me dead where I stand."

That was good enough for me. He truly meant it. He was a man of his word.

I pulled his head toward mine, resting ny forehead against his in a traditional mandalorian kiss. I pulled back when I heard my name being called from the transport.

"Goodbye, Din Djarin," I told him.

He didn't respond, he just let me go, watching intently as I boarded the ship before the doors closed.

The cargo transports were always on schedule, so as soon as the doors closed, it began lifting into the air. I looked out through the transparent view finder on the side, watching him stand as we began moving out of sight.

"You gonna miss him?" Shyloh asked, his brows furrowing as if he were sorry for me.

"Yes, I suppose I will."

I lost sight of Din, and realized we were leaving the atmosphere most likely preparing for a jump to hyperspace.

"But I'll see him again."

.

.

Tags are open ig...

A/n: please don't get too caught up in the age gap y'all it's just for backstory purposes because this story is eventually going to follow canon events.... (also i know that this doesn't really portray Mandalore correctly, but let's pretend it does because i had this idea)

[citrusreadstoa]

Reading The Hidden Oracle: Chapter 32 (SPOILERS)

"'Peaches!' He . . . chomped the lit match from the emperor's hand" Peaches! Our hero!

"I am trying so hard to keep the Beast at bay." Doubt. He's just saying that as a dramatic lead-up to throwing his grand temper tantrum.

"allowed you to roam around Manhattan so much on your own, playing the street waif" That answers my question about why she was just hangin' around Hell's Kitchen's alleyways.

"You told me never to lower myself to my enemies' level." You tell him! Softness toward enemies is not a virtue, but burning your enemies to the ground is not a virtue, either.

"I remembered how my father used to punish me centuries ago . . . Zeus used to say, Don't get on the wrong side of my lightning bolts, boy." "Don't blame me, his tone implied. It's the lightning bolt that seared every molecule in your body." Yeah, I didn't shoot you, the gun did! *eyes* I don't know why I expected Zeus to not beat his children (or zap them, which sounds exponentially more painful). He's literally the guy going around abusing his power, raping people and abandoning the children, assigning scapegoats for his own mistakes, etc. Of course he would also be the guy to beat even his immortal kids. And now we know Nero does the same thing and the Beast isn't some fantasy monster, it's just Nero (who is arguably also a monster). Apollo and Meg trauma bonding...? I didn't expect it to actually dive into that sort of stuff in a PJO book, but I'm happy it did.

"Peaches . . . get the matchbox." Yes! Meg makes the right decision in the end. Never doubted her. "'When we get home...' He shrugged, his expression full of regret." She got on the wrong side of the Beast.

"Happiness approaches. The fall of the sun; the final verse. Would you like to hear our specials today?" Yes, I would like to hear the specials. I don't think "Happiness approaches" is part of that ominous "fall of the sun" line, but I can't be 100% sure. Also, I'm almost certain that the "final verse" refers to the Triumvirate's attempt at a rise to power will be the last "verse" of the Great Stirring mentioned in the first PJO series as the reason for Kronos's resurrection.

"From his vest pocket, he produced a silver cigarette lighter." Of course he had a backup. Of course he did.

"Help." Our protagonist actually knows his limits and calls for help when he needs it! Hurry or you'll miss it! This is a once-in-a-lifetime occasion!

"I felt hollow, guilty, and ashamed." Don't worry. I'm sure they did it as much to save their fellow trees as they did it to save you and your children. "Then it occurred to me how many times I had asked for sacrifices, how many heroes I had sent to their deaths." He finally clocked it! He finally realized how many lives he's ruined! It truly is a day for celebration! "I was no less of a monster than Nero." Ye--hmm--yeah, he's right about that. He might actually be worse since he's lived longer and thus had more time to commit more atrocities. What sets Apollo apart from Nero is that he's actually realizing the error of his ways now.

"their next beautiful reincarnation." Oh, nice. So nymphs get reincarnated kind of like satyrs do.

"After all these centuries, Zephyros has accepted my apology." SORRY? Apollo's the one who has to apologize to Zephyros? He's done many horrible things, but Zephyros is the one responsible for killing Hyacinthus. He's the one who should be apologizing!

"The Grove of Dodona had stopped its wild chorus of screaming." The trees are probably mourning the dryads' deaths. Considering the cacophony they were making before, I thought they'd mourn louder.

"Also, where is my saxophone?" Austin, priorities! Although I guess that would count as a useful weapon for him and he was carrying it with him in the maze, wasn't he? Nero probably confiscated it. "Sensible questions." Haha. I see we're on the same page.

[edwardelricsrightarm]

"A lesson without pain is meaningless. For you cannot gain anything without sacrificing something else in return, but once you have overcome it and made it your own...you will gain an irreplaceable fullmetal heart." - Edward Elric

In honor of disability month and the FMA 20 year anniversary I wanted to address some Thoughts™️ about the series.

It's not often you see a disabled protagonist in media where their disability is integral to the story without taking up their entire character, even more so with anime. Yet, Fullmetal Alchemist has not just one disabled Protagonist, but two. The Elric Brothers are an exemplary representation of disability in media that I find myself reflecting on often as a disabled person myself. If you haven't completed the manga or Brotherhood, skip this as it will be brimming with spoilers.

(Mangahood will be my point of reference because while 03 is good on its own merits it's not as fresh within my immediate memory, and I am far less familiar with it. Keep this in mind, I've watched FMAB 10 and a half times whereas I've finished 03 only once years ago.)

The story highlights their disabilities immediately, Edward being a double amputee and Alphonse being without his ENTIRE body, only having the senses of proprioception, sight, and hearing left. Yet, despite this being key to the story and an integral part of their characterization, it is only one facet of their motivations and doesn't take center in the narrative, which is refreshing. It's not inherently negative to make a narrative centered on the characters' disabilities, but often this model of a story goes very wrong very fast and starts to feel hollow (no pun intended). FMA avoids this by making their disabilities a clear part of the plot and their motivations without allowing it to consume the entire story, so the Elric Brothers don't suffer the "my disability is all of my character" problem that many disabled characters are relegated to in a vast portion of media, all while being strong and competent.

Recap:

The brothers wished to revive their mother, but their good intentions cannot change the atrocity of their mistake, Truth makes this abundantly clear from the start. Edward loses his leg first, a punishment for "stepping" into God's shoes and transgressing the place of humans in their world. Alphonse loses his entire body, unable to feel any warmth or simple comforts like food and rest, when all he wanted was to feel the warmth and comfort of his mother's embrace again. At first, Alphonse's entire being is consumed by the gate, but Edward acts immediately, refusing to lose his little brother and refusing to allow his arrogance in this plan to cause his brother's death for only following his lead. Edward gives his right arm to have the gate give back Alphonse's soul, and stated clearly in his panic that he'd give his entire self to save Alphonse if that's what it would take, but Truth took his dominant arm only, showing something akin to mercy, although the character of Truth is capriciously strict and hard to describe as "merciful".

Through giving up his right arm, Edward regains his Right Hand Man, his little brother and best friend. His only remaining family, who he feels responsible for protecting in the absence of their parents. He felt immediately that he'd made a grave mistake, instantly full of regret as he realized the gate had taken his brother. In that moment he was willing to give anything to take it back and undo the suffering his arrogance caused his brother, yet Alphonse was still to suffer more to come. Ed tied Alphonse's disembodied soul to one of Hohenheim's collected suits of armor, managing to at least keep his brother alive in some way. One could say that Alphonse's punishment functioned as a secondary punishment for Edward, showing him how easily his hubris could have cost him what he has left in his obsession with regaining what they'd lost, their mother. A very clear symbolic reminder of the weight of his actions and how he'd misled his brother in his own naive ignorance. Even in giving another limb away to drag his brother's soul back out of the gate, he couldn't offer enough to bring him back intact. Thus is the law of equivalent exchange.

Now that we've reviewed some of that basic symbolism and the motifs the story draws upon with limbs and body parts in relation to characters, let's move on to each individual brother and break it down, shall we?

Edward Elric is a very realistic protagonist, this is one thing a majority of us familiar with this series can agree upon. He feels like a believable teen boy, with layers of complexity to his character while also showing arrogance and immaturity that is unsurprising at his age. He expresses unwillingness to kill and avoidance of unjust violence from the beginning, and has a strong moral code after the ordeal of committing the taboo.

In some characters his cocky personality would typically become grating, yet the story explains in itself why he is this way, then builds upon this to develop him into an incredibly mature character who is willing to admit when he's absolutely wrong and adapts to new information and context for the crisis unfolding around him as it comes, even if he remains crass. This arrogance is shown from the start to be a manifestation of insecurity, self loathing, and repressed guilt. Edward is a logic driven person, he has a very unique thought process, which is where my interpretation of him as autistic comes in. Edward's awkward social demeanor, somewhat abrasive and cold approach to some, and his trouble coping with nonsensical societal structures all stand out in this way. Furthermore he clearly shows hyperfixation, hyperactivity, special interest, and infodumping behaviors that are all too familiar. He's picky with food (*cough* the milk thing), has very little filter and speaks his mind bluntly even if this can warrant conflicting responses, yet at the same time struggles with vulnerable emotions, and he is frustrated when his own routine or itinerary are interrupted by forces beyond his control. All of these things Scream autism with comorbid ADHD. Many traits are shared between the brothers, and I'm quite certain they're both on the autism spectrum based on behavioral patterns. Neurodivergence aside, Edward's physical disabilities are undeniable.

Despite his bratty persona, Edward is fundamentally kind and uncharacteristically gentle and soft around the edges for a shonen protagonist in many ways. He cries openly on many occasions even if he struggles talking about his trauma and burdens in words at times, he feels pain, grief, and compassion so intensely it throws him into action on a regular basis in the narrative. In this way he's also a fantastic example of non-toxic masculinity (though in other ways he has displayed more toxic traits, he's just a kid). He acts on his heart, even if he's led by his mind and logic in most things. His humanity, value for life, and care for others will always win over his logic, and he shows a sense of personal responsibility for doing the right thing even if it harms him in the process. Ed is clearly shown having ghost pains in his lost limbs which is honestly an interesting detail to include, I don't think I've ever seen that aspect of amputation shown in media aside from FMA. It's also shown that when Ed's automail arm breaks this is a HUGE problem for him, but he's also shown to be very good at working around this in difficult circumstances. He doesn't become completely helpless, even if majorly weakened.

Alphonse is an extremely lovable and compassionate boy, brimming with altruism and care for others. Even in his noncorporeal state he pursues a better future and he's not helpless by any stretch. Edward clearly states Alphonse is the superior fighter for example, and it's not just because of his armor body being so large. He's *talented*, that's a fact. Al is every bit as clever and capable as Ed, moreso in some ways, and I love that about his character *because* he's so clearly disabled. He has no sense of pain, he is completely incapable of sleeping, he can't eat, can't relax or find comfort, he can only exist and think. This causes him to overthink in all his time alone, this is debilitating. He clearly is absolutely sick of the loneliness this causes, and he often feels helpless though he's not. He has doubts and fears that consume him in relation to his armor body, he questions his own personhood, even. Yet, Edward is stubborn and staunch in affirming that no matter what he's dealing with, he is fundamentally still a human being that is loved and irreplaceable. Alphonse is powerful and his body gives him some advantages, but it also sets him back, and the brothers know this even when others claim Alphonse's state is somehow a good thing. I have hEDS, a disability that comes with advantages as well as the major downsides, so I can understand and relate to Alphonse here. I too am told my disability is a boon because of flexibility and because I'm less likely to fracture bones, but I'm twice as likely to injure my ligaments and joints, which people ignore.

The brothers are both disabled, both flawed, both show weaknesses, but they are competent, determined, and strong in their own right. They are rounded characters that exist for more than to be pitied or condescended to by able bodied characters around them. They put their entire being in everything that they do no matter what that is, and they don't know the meaning of giving up. These traits that they're made of truly make them a shining example of disability in protagonists for others to look to for reference when writing their own disabled characters.

Even though by the end Edward has regained one limb and Al has regained his body, this also doesn't just deus ex machina reverse their disability or make it go away. It's clear that Alphonse's body is weak and has to be rehabilitated upon recovery, and Edward is still missing his leg and bears the scars and pieces of the port from his automail arm. They weren't suddenly made able bodied upon recovering these things, they reclaimed what was lost through struggle and grit, but the narrative didn't give the impression that their disability in itself was something to be fixed, which is important. They wanted to recover their bodies, but this doesn't erase the effects of their disability.

It was about Edward atoning for leading Alphonse into their mistake and saving his brother from suffering further, it was about them proving they can keep moving forward no matter what, not about getting rid of their disability in itself or putting themselves down because of the disabilities. This, to me, as a mentally and physically disabled viewer, is so important. They achieve their goal, but this doesn't in any way erase or undo the effects of their initial losses, they find ways to adapt and move on but they're still affected and still disabled. They always will be. That can be so important to see in comfort characters, and as a disabled individual who's had both brothers as comfort characters since I was a child, their impact on my own journey is surprisingly tangible for fiction.