#they also were pretty much the same age in this two scenes

[blackberry-sage-tea]

Like, I hate Veilguard. This won't be a surprise to people who have followed me specifically for my Veilguard critical posts but I recognize I have gained a few followers since then, and those followers specifically followed me for Dorianposting with Veilguard gifs. Please don't take it personally that I hated it.

I didn't like the game mostly for its writing. I won't go into a long spiel because this post is not about that, but what I dislike about the game is mirrored in a lot of longtime DA fans who were disappointed with Veilguard, and it reflects a lot of the problems with the writing that the article touches on.

And I don't think "the DA team was mistreated" contradicts "the DA team wrote a terrible game", but…COME ON.

There's something so unjust about it. That EA and Bioware and the ME team came in at the end of development and said "this needs to be a serious and gripping narrative, fans want a serious and gripping narrative", and yes, they are correct, that's what we (fans like me) wanted and the game didn't have enough of it, but also like. As though the DA team didn't say this from the very start?

The very first version of Dragon Age 4 was going to be a serious and gripping narrative! It was going to have the worldbuilding we wanted, it was going to expand on the things we were interested in, it was probably going to have a million terrible and enraging plot points but it was going to be a Dragon Age game and it was going to have choices and conflict and everything fans of the series wanted. And it was NOT the DA team's fault that it wasn't that. Like maybe the people left behind at the end didn't know how to write a fantasy game but it wasn't their fault that they were the only people left.

Like, they argued over this. They were fired over this. People who had been with Bioware for YEARS resigned over this. The ones who were left were told to make it a multiplayer so they started designing a multiplayer. Then when they were probably half or even most of the way through making the multiplayer they were told to make it a "broad-appeal" singleplayer. Not even "restart development and make a singleplayer" but "take the game you were already making and turn it into a singleplayer". Do you know how insane this production standard is??? If you look at pretty much any other game, you are supposed to know what you are making BEFORE YOU START MAKING IT. It's like being told to paint a portrait, then told after you're done thumbnailing for the portrait to instead make an elaborate pastoral scene, and then told as you are layering paint on the canvas "actually we want a portrait".

And someone comes in and is like "why is this portrait in landscape orientation have you never made a game before in your life".

Like, yeah I get annoyed when I see comments from the DA writers that imply "this character was a two-dimensional caricature on purpose" but it's kind of like. Seeing the Mass Effect lead crowing about how "Mass Effect 5 isn't going to have a tone change like Dragon Age did" gives me the same fury, you know? Like, what do you know? You were the golden child. You got what you wanted when you asked for it.

I liked Mass Effect, but the second the story was over I stopped caring about it. Dragon Age is the thing that's endured. And the comment about the differences in ME team structure compared to Dragon Age? Yeah. I can see that. Dragon Age is a series comprised of multiple viewpoints and narratives. Sometimes this means that the narrative contradicts itself. Sometimes you have characters where you can tell they were handled with love and care by one writer only for the next one to completely change who they are. It is what it is. It's part of what makes the series so compelling and also what makes it so terrible. I'm going to miss it forever. I don't think we're ever getting it back even if they try to make another one because the people who made this series what it is, who understood what it was about, they're gone.

Anyway. I guess I'll just die mad about it.

[soraya-snape]

Watched Avatar the way of water again yesterday (at least partly) as one does and noticed something. There's this scene where Kiri is lying face down in the water just minding her own business watching something in the sand. But then Aonung comes with his 3 friends and starts bullying her, calling her a freak and stuff just because she is not a “real” Na'vi. It just kinda reminded me of the marauders attacking Sev in SWM despite him minding his own business, because he is different. But Kiri actually got “lucky” compared to Sev. Because her 2 brothers come to defend her. And by defending I mean first they try settling it with words (like Lily). But because Aonung and his friends don't stop (and also talk bad about Neteyam+Lo'ak and the rest of their family), they start punching them. And while I obviously don't like physical fights and I also don't want to say that Lily should have punched James (actually she should but not because it would have been the right thing to do but because I would have loved seeing it) but I do think Sev needed a friend like this. Also, what Aonung and his friends did wasn't as bad as what the marauders did (I still am angry at him for what he did but because it was less bad, and he grew more in this one movie than James did in 10 years I at least tolerate him). Like they didn't get physical with Kiri (only her brothers but after Lo'ak punshed Aonung first) or even tried to undress her (considering the Na'vi barely wear any clothing it would have been easy to do so, but I don'tknow how much they actuallycare about covering up).

This scene plus the fact I do think Kiri gives huge Luna and some young Sev vibes, it's actually no surprise she is one of my favourite Avatar characters. 

[solxamber]

K.O. by Haiden, Romantic, Vil Schoenheit

If this is okay, please make it as spicy as you can? And the reader being more fliirty/in control (I need flustered vil so bad bro it's not even funny)

"You're a knockout, baby" || Vil Schoenheit

thought of lovesick vil and blacked out for a min

𝐅𝐨𝐫 𝐦𝐲 𝐕𝐚𝐥𝐞𝐧𝐭𝐢𝐧𝐞'𝐬 𝐄𝐯𝐞𝐧𝐭

𝐒𝐨𝐧𝐠: K.O. by Haiden Henderson

𝐖𝐨𝐫𝐝 𝐂𝐨𝐮𝐧𝐭: 750

𝐓𝐚𝐠𝐬: Suggestive, Lovesick! Vil

It was laughable, really. The way you ruined him. Vil Schoenheit—always so poised, so composed, the embodiment of elegance—was barely holding himself together the second you so much as looked his way.

You were lounging in his bed, like you belonged there. One sleeve of his sweater slipping off your shoulder, neck marked with the remnants of last night’s chaos. And when you smiled—just a little, soft and smug—he knew he was done for.

K.O.

He didn’t know how it started. Maybe it was the way you challenged him from day one, refused to be dazzled by the glamor, looked past the image and saw him. Or maybe it was the way you touched him—like he was precious, breakable even when he wasn’t in full makeup.

Maybe it was the way your fingers slid through his hair, tender and reverent in the same breath you dared to tease him about chipped nail polish.

Vil had dated. He had flirted. He had posed and pouted and smiled for cameras, worn affection like a costume when needed. But you weren’t a role. You weren’t an accessory.

You were the chaos behind the scenes. The wild card. The reason he wore concealer under tired eyes because he hadn’t slept since three a.m., still reeling from the memory of you whispering "round two?" like it was a sin he couldn’t not commit.

Your bed—also his bed now—felt like a boxing ring. And he kept stepping in, again and again, even though you knocked him flat every single time.

His fingers brushed the bare skin of your thigh. “You’re a menace,” he muttered. “Utterly incorrigible.”

“Mmm,” you hummed, stretching like a cat in the sun. “You say that like it’s not the reason you keep coming back.”

Vil rolled his eyes, but his lips betrayed him with a smile. “I should’ve left you behind ages ago.”

You pulled him down by his collar, catching his mouth in a kiss that was all teeth and laughter and hunger. And Vil, beautiful, immaculate Vil, kissed back like he was drowning. Like if he stopped for a second, he’d lose you—and losing you was the only thing he couldn’t bear.

He whispered it then, against your lips, his voice hoarse and wrecked from wanting. “You’re going to destroy me.”

And you—of course you—just grinned, tilting his chin to kiss him again, softer this time. “Then come down with me, pretty boy.”

He did. Again, and again, and again.

The room was quiet now. The sun had fully risen, casting warm gold across tangled sheets and soft skin. Vil lay beside you, his head resting on the crook of your shoulder, arm curled around your waist like he didn’t intend to let go. Not now. Not ever.

You ran a hand through his hair—messy, not yet brushed, which was something only you ever got to see. He wasn’t speaking. Just breathing slow and steady, like he was trying to memorize this moment by the second.

“Vil?”

“Hm?”

You shifted slightly to face him, your fingers grazing along his jaw. He looked up at you through lashes still heavy from sleep and satisfaction, violet eyes bleary but curious.

You kissed his temple. “If I told you I wanted to keep you—would you let me?”

Vil didn’t speak. He just grabbed your wrist—gently—and pressed your hand to his chest, right over his heart. It was pounding.

“Is that a yes?”

He hummed, but it wasn’t dismissive. It was fond. Tired. Like yes, of course, yes, how could it be anything but yes?

You kissed his jaw and felt the shiver roll through him. He closed his eyes. Breathed in.

Then he pulled you in, one arm looping under your waist to drag you flush against his chest, your leg slotted between his like it belonged there. Like he was building a shield around you with his own body.

You raised a brow. “You're not gonna answer?”

He kissed you.

Not rushed, not needy. This was slow. Sure. A confirmation.

His hand tangled in your hair as he deepened it, tightening just enough to remind you—he knew exactly what you were. What you did to him.

But he still wanted you.

You grinned against his mouth. “You’re hopeless.”

Vil rolled you beneath him, eyes gleaming with something wicked and warm. “So are you,” he whispered. Then he leaned in again. “And I'm yours.”

Masterlist ; Valentine's Event

[elllisaaa]

CONNECTED - BANGCHAN

KINKTOBER DAY 5 - BREEDING

SUMMARY : you've been nothing but a good girl to him lately, even watching over his niece when his sister visited him by surprise. and it awakened an urge in him. maybe your relationship is more than what chan pretends it is.

-> pairing : sugar daddy!chan x fem!reader

-> words count : 2k

-> genre : smut

-> warnings : dom!chan x sub!reader, breeding kink (obviously), creampie, unprotected sex, sprinkle of angst, dirty talk, spanking, pussy slapping, fingering, use of 'good girl', praising, begging, teasing, rough sex

+ the way i'm depicting chan does not represent him, it's only a work of fiction

-> 18+ content bellow, minors DNI

-> reblogs and feedbacks are appreciated ! sorry for any mistakes, english is not my first language.

-> masterlist | ateez masterlist | kinktober 2024

When Chan asked you to come spend the weekend at his place, he didn’t think he would find himself trapped with his sister and her two kids coming over. You were actually in the middle of a quite intense make out session, with you sitting on his lap on the couch, when someone rang the front door bell. And he had no choice but to open the door when he heard Hannah’s voice calling for him from the outside. Chan had apologized at least ten times to you already for the embarrassing situation he put you in - having to explain to his sister that you were just friends wasn’t the most agreeable moment of your life, especially since she must have guessed it wasn’t true. 

She asked for you to stay with them, and even though her intentions were probably good, it made it all very uncomfortable for you. Hannah must have thought that you were Chan’s girlfriend despite the age difference, but of course, she couldn’t guess that he was in fact your sugar daddy. It had started almost nine months ago, when you met Chan at the bar you were working at. That night, he came in alone and he looked sad, so since it was a quiet night, you took some time to talk with him. And when he left, he handed you a tip that could have covered your rent for three months at least, along with his number if you wanted to chat again. It was not long after that he proposed to give you money in exchange for the two of you meeting weekly to talk. 

And at the beginning, you must admit that you were purely interested in his money - it was only the cherry on top that Chan was crazy handsome and that your conversations were pretty interesting too. But as time went on, he became so much more than just a man paying you to discuss with him. He started to give you more and more gifts, and you started to feel way more for him than what your relationship wanted the two of you to be. It all changed when you went out to a bar together, and came back to his place completely wasted. That was the first time you ever fucked with him, and it hadn’t stopped until then. And honestly, you coulnd’t ask for more - you had an attractive, rich man, paying you for spending time with him and gifting you all sorts of things, and he was also fucking you like a queen, treating you like a queen. Well, there was actually something more that you wanted but you knew it was impossible, knew you couldn’t have it. 

“- Tom ! Layla ! We’re leaving, come here !”

Hannah’s two kids that you had been playing with for an hour clinged to you as they refused to go back to their mother, and if she watched the scene pretty amused, Chan had something else swirling in his eyes. Seeing you be so affectionate, be so natural at taking care of childrens had him thinking about things he shouldn’t, about making you his wife and the mother of his own kids when you weren’t even his girlfriend. And you were still so young, you still had so much to live before getting trapped in a relationship like this, before committing to life, especially to him. You couldn’t feel the same, but as you looked at him with a bright smile, his niece and nephew refusing to let you go, his heart beat faster when he dreamt about it being the sight he could wake up to every morning. 

“- What came over you Channie ?

- Nothing, I just need you. Right now.”

You didn’t protest much more, letting him pin you down to his mattress and explore your whole body with his hands. His lips were demanding and rough against yours, but you loved it when he was a little more harsh, when he stopped being so worried about hurting you. Though, you didn’t quite understand what snapped for him to drag you upstairs as soon as his sister left. Maybe it was only because he was frustrated of having been interrupted earlier, but it felt like it was something else, like there was something more. 

“- On your knees, head in the pillow. I wanna see your pretty ass when I fuck you.”

You didn’t say anything, once again, and simply obeyed and turned around to position yourself like he had asked you to. Chan’s hand immediately landed on your cheeks, forcing a pained moan out of you. He practically ripped your pants off of you, along with your underwear, and this time he slapped your pussy, your body lurching forward and if it wasn’t for the strong grip he had around your waist, you would’ve collapsed on the bed. 

“- Always so wet for me, fuck…”

His deep, raspy voice whispering dirty things behind you had you clenching around nothing, and Chan was quick to notice it as his eyes were still glued onto your pussy. You felt one of his fingers run from your sensitive clit and along your dripping slit, the tip teasing your entrance. You couldn’t help moving your hip against his fingers, trying to entice him into giving you more. 

“- You’re so greedy babygirl, you always want more from me, uh ?”

It made you moan, but it also made your heart clench, because he was too close to the truth. However, the feeling of two of his fingers slipping inside of your cunt made your train of thoughts stop there and it was for the best. You moaned louder this time, Chan thrusting his fingers into you at a rapid pace from the get-go. You both knew you didn’t need any preparation now, too used to his cock, but he loved to tease, loved to see how he could drive you insane with only two of his fingers. 

“- You were such a good girl today, I think you deserve a reward, don’t you ?”

You whined and nodded your head energetically as an answer, and you could easily imagine the cocky grin that must have spread on Chan’s face. You heard him unbuckle his belt and get rid of his pants and underwear behind you, his hands soon returning to their previous spot on your waist as his tip bumped against your clit. 

“- Channie… Please…

- Come on baby, we both know you can do better than that.

- Please, fuck me Channie, please, I want your cock so bad…

- There you go, good girl.”

He didn’t let you say anything more as he pushed half of his cock inside of you, letting you breathe and adjust to his size for a few seconds. But soon enough, he was filling you up to the brim, and you couldn’t keep your moans for yourself, and you couldn’t help the way you were clenching around him. 

“- Shit… I can never get enough of your pretty pussy.”

Your fists were gripping tightly onto the sheets to try and keep a bit of your sanity as Chan started to pull back, only to slam into your cunt full force, the back of his muscular thighs slapping against your ass and producing a lewd sound that mixed with the squelching of your impossibly soaked folds. A thin layer of sweat had started to form on your back as Chan restlessly pounded into you, his mind only clouded with thoughts of you full of his cum, so full you couldn’t escape from his hold ever again. His hands had an iron grip around your waist, pulling you back to him to hit deeper into you. You moaned louder with each one of his thrusts, slowly losing your mind to the sensation of his cock dragging against your velvety walls. 

“- C-Channie… 

- What is it babygirl ? Feeling close already ?”

You simply cried out his name again, the way he had leant into you to be able to talk directly into your ear made the angle of his hips change and hit your sweet spot even more perfectly - and you knew he did it on purpose, did it to make you go crazy. And it worked every time.

“- Mmh… You’re squeezing me so tight… There you go, cum around me angel.”

Every word that fell from his mouth brought you closer to the edge and you buried your face into his pillow to drown out your cries of pleasure as you came around him, his steady pace never flattering as he continued to fuck you through your orgasm. And even when you started to whine from overstimulation, Chan didn’t stop. 

“- I-It’s too much… 

- Just let me fill you up, yeah ? Gonna give you my cum, gonna fill you up to the brim…”

Chan didn’t care anymore about the way this may all sound to you, his mind was clouded with thoughts of you becoming his wife, of you carrying his child, of your pussy dripping from his cum, and all he wanted was to stuff you full of his load, full of him, to make you his forever. His thrusts became rougher, and he was starting to lose his rhythm, though that was enough to bring you to the brink of another orgasm as you turned your head to the side to look at him over your shoulder : he had thrown his head back, his dark strands of hair sticking to his forehead and his muscular chest covered in sweat. But the best part of it all was the way his face contorted in pleasure.

“- Please, Channie… Give it to me, I want it all…”

His eyes bore into yours with a rare intensity, with lust but also some kind of possessiveness that he had never shown towards you. It was like something shifted, something that was going to change your relationship forever. 

“- Yeah ? You want my cum angel ? You want my babies ?”

You didn’t even know that you wanted it, but the moment he said it, you let out a broken moan as you nodded as best as you could, trying to move your hips to match his deep and quick thrusts. You knew that you wanted to be his - to be truly his - but you weren’t even aware that it was to that extent. But the thought of actually being the mother of his children seemed appealing, and it made you cried out his name again.

“- Words babygirl.

- F-Fuck ! Yes, yes I want your cum, I want your babies Channie !

- Shit… I’m gonna make you pregnant, gonna make you fucking mine.”

Chan growled behind you as he buried himself to the hilt into your pussy one last time, thick ropes of cum painting your insides white as he moaned and groaned, the sensation crashing like a violent wave against him, but it was mostly the thought that he might actually get you pregnant that made him say your name the loudest. Your second orgasm was even more intense than the first one, his promise and the feeling of his cum filling you up in the best way possible making you shake and tremble in his hold. 

“- God, you’re gonna be the death of me one of these days.”

Chan murmured with a sly grin tugging at the corner of his lips as he watched the way some of his release dripped down your thighs despite him being still in you. The sight was mesmerizing, and he simply couldn’t look away, he simply couldn’t not get hard again. 

“- Seriously ?”

Your whines made him chuckle as he pulled out to help you lay down on your back. As soon as he was sure you were comfortable, Chan kissed you passionately, and there seemed to be something more behind the sensual glide of your tongues this time. 

“- Not my fault angel, you agreed to be mine, now you have to bear with that.”

His eyes were gleaming with so much adoration that you couldn’t pretend not feeling the same anymore and you bit down on your lips as you locked your gaze with his, your voice barely above a whisper as you talked. 

“- Yeah… I’m yours Chan.”

-> i don't allow any copies, reposts or translations of my work.

skz masterlist (fill in this to be added) :

@minnies-babie @binwons @yoongles2025 @thicccurls @caitlyn98s @sharonxdevi @skz1-4-3 @bbgnyx @hann1bee @lil-kpopstan @heevllog @puppy-minnie @binniesbabygirl @chrizzztopherbang @lichyuu @foxinnie8 @lala-----------lala

kinktober masterlist (comment or dm to be added) :

@d-dilemma @bath1lda @anxiousskylar

[rottingghosty]

Sexiest Vigilantes of Amity Park | DC X DP

this was inspired by that one audio where someone says nightwing being gotham’s sexiest vigilante. all dp characters are aged up in this prompt, so the phantom team are 18-19.

once again, errors will be made because while im fluent in english, i make mistakes cause im a 23 year old who works full time.

prompt: Sam came back from a gala in Gotham and overheard some people talk about how Nightwing was voted as the sexiest vigilante in Gotham and well. She couldn’t resist being a mischievous best friend okay? All of Gotham finding out that a small town in Illinois has their own vigilantes and they’re the sexiest in one Sam Manson’s eyes.

One is her girlfriend, the other is her ex boyfriend. Sam isn’t blind especially considering how Danny learned to change his ghost form so he looks almost similar to how he looks like not transformed, obviously he’s learned to hide his features but it’s kinda redundant when everyone in Amity Park knows who he is but somehow the Fentons besides Jazz don’t know. Danny’s a lot taller, almost Jack Fenton’s height and he had a TOTAL sleeper build that was hidden underneath the baggy clothes he wore.

Sam was getting off topic, anyway.

“What do you mean you find the vigilantes of your hometown more attractive than Nightwing?” A girl Sam’s age asked with genuine shock, her green eyes wide as she tucked a strand of red hair behind her ear. Sam found her pretty but in the same way she found Jazz pretty, with no romantic interest.

“I mean I’m not from Gotham obviously, but we have two vigilantes back home and everyone has a crush on Red Huntress and Phantom.”

Instantly the group around Sam tittered excitedly at this new information, she let a smirk grow on her face. While she hated that her family dragged her to a gala again, she didn’t mind it that much right now when she can flex the knowledge about Danny and Val on people who don’t even know about them. Tucker and her are very much aware on how attractive the two vigilantes had gotten overtime especially with the new gear upgrades. They’ve witnessed fangirls and fanboys go rabid at any ghost fight just to see the way Danny’s muscles ripple or when Val pulls a move that shows off her flexibility.

The two weren’t afraid to say how hot the two became.

Sam pulled out her phone to show a photo of Danny as Phantom in the middle of fighting with Skulker— the ghosts attacks became less of a worry once the team realized they were basically trying to figure out how strong Danny was as a baby ghost and roughened him up to help him grow to protect his haunt.

The photo after Danny showed Val as Red Huntress, she was standing on her hoverboard going against Ember. The two mid battle with Val about to land a hit on Ember.

A low whistle was heard that caused Sam to snap her head to and the girls to jump with various squeaks. In front of her stood Stephanie Brown, a family friend of the Wayne family and Timothy Drake-Wayne. Sam’s eyes narrowed in suspicion wondering why the two were even here, before she can ask a voice spoke out.

“Personally I believe the person behind the scenes is more attractive, though I suppose Nightwing can keep the title he has since nobody knows how Oracle looks like.”

Sam turned to look at Carmilla Masters in surprise. She hadn’t expected to see Vlad’s heir at the Wayne Gala but she couldn’t be surprised either since Vlad was adamant on making connections.

“Ouch, abandoning Danny and Red Huntress like that?” Sam teased with a smirk, watching a flush settled on Carmilla’s tanned cheeks- her freckles prominent from the embarrassment.

“Oh shut it Manson.”

Before the two can delve deeper into their teasing, Timothy interrupted them.

“I believe Phantom deserves it.”

“Nuh uh, Red Huntress is better than. I vote Bat Girl also.” Stephanie says with crossed arms and raising an eyebrow at Tim who narrowed his eyes in response.

The group quickly began to debate, going only slightly louder as Sam watched with a wide smile and knowledge that this was being recorded and she’d get to embarrass the two back home once it was uploaded.

“You’re a devil.” Carmilla tells Sam, the older woman’s lips wrapped around the champagne glass to take a sip.

“I’ll send you the reaction.”

The woman sniffed delicately as she rolled the idea around in her head. “Deal. Tell Danny that he needs to come up with an excuse to get out of the family dinner that Vlad’s planning next week, we both know he hates them.” Carmilla says as she gives a smile, her canines showing briefly and Sam dutifully ignores the fact that they’re more like fangs than anything. She swears the Masters family come from a lineage of vampires.

“I’ll let him know.”

“HA! Phantom won in the group vote, so Nightwing isn’t the sexiest vigilante!” Timothy Drake-Wayne with an air of confidence that’s quickly shattered by Richard Grayson coming up with a confused puppy like look. Carmilla takes a sharp breath and looks away, it made Sam eye the two of them.

Only for her eyes to widen.

“Not a word.”

“What’s this about Nightwing not being the sexiest?” Dick Grayson curiously asked with a head tilt.

tldr: sam, in a good friend fashion- decided to bestow upon the rich kids the knowledge of phantom and red huntress after someone brought up nightwing being the sexiest in gotham. it quickly turned into a debate and a reluctant ally (carmilla masters, oc and heir of dalv co) shows up to throw her two cents in. sam of course calls out this betrayal and the two witness the argument on the sidelines.

this is implied reformed / redeemed vlad who decided to give the company to a relative and now just tries to feed his obsession with family dinners :)

[sundives]

Magnets ✶ lhs.

Either way, you have me at my wit's end.

Summary: Lee Heeseung, according to your sort of college crushes, falls under the category of the unreachable. One being he's a bandmate and friend of your younger brother, (which automatically means he's off-limits), and two, he's popular, intelligent, and every girl's dream guy, which still validates your sort even if we cross out the first reason. And yet, a small part of you wondered, if Lee Heeseung can be just at an arm's length. 

And somewhere, in the middle of your junior year, a mystic force somehow pulled you and Heeseung together. A push and pull of feelings that had you wondering if he’s really unreachable. (or not, you just don’t want to assume really.)

✰ Song Inspiration: Magnets by Niki, Sway covered by Beabadoobee (original by Bic Runga), Take A Chance With Me by Niki

✰ Word Count: 25.6k

✰ Tags: Tooth-rotting fluff, best friend’s older sister, kinda realization of feelings, jealousy, drunken confessions ig, a bit of angst, smut! Yang Jungwon as reader’s younger brother, band au! College settings, classmates! Bar parties, mentions of alcohol. Heeseung is such a natural flirt (and is an epitome of mixed signals.) He is also in a band, mentions Enhypen members, mentions of kpop idols, Yunah and Karina as your best friends. Jungwon calls reader “noona.” He’s also so protective that he can be an asshole sometimes. Reader is kinda delusional but in denial but I get her. Heeseung has a high-alcohol tolerance for the sake of the plot. Switch of POV at some point of the story. 

✰ CW: Smut! Plot with little porn, p in v sex, unprotected sex lmao (pls don’t) drunk sex, creampie, oral (f and m receiving), aggressive making out, mentions of blood, fingering, squirting, light spanking, multiple orgasms, names (pretty, baby), grinding, cowgirl, aftercare!!! Multiple smut scenes because I’m practicing for my next fic but still shitty. Hope you enjoy though.

✰ Asul’s note: It’s Heeseung’s story this time! Third installment of Arcanum series. I also kinda made Enha members same-aged in this series, (hyung line are juniors while maknae line are sophomores, and idk why I am telling y’all this now lmao.) This one is lighter compared to my other stories hehe. Some talks about “The Virgin Suicides” because I love that novel sm and I’m going to nerd the hell out of it. 

And kinda spoiler? But the self-composed song of Arcanum is actually this song! (give love to the og singer pls) I just remembered Heeseung covered this during Fate Concert in New Clark City (and he did posted a short cover of it WTF.) The song and lyrics matched the story that’s why I included it here. Anyways, enjoy this not proofread, tooth-rotting story.

You can check the other member's stories here: Jay | Sunghoon

✰ Taglist: @kiikiisblog @chuuyaobsessed @k1ttyjwon @bussolares @rosepetals09 @m1kkso @dearestdreamies @dreamiestay @cloud-lyy @iamliacamila @heeseungsgf26 @dulcetnostalgia

-

According to your list, you have two types of crushes. 

The first ones are the reachables. Meaning, your crushes that you can potentially date or maybe pull if you’re lucky.

The first one being Jake Sim, who’s an orgmate of yours. You two only started as a staff for the Student Aid Organization during your first years in college, assisting students with their grievances. It wasn’t until Jake became the vice president of the said organization while you became his executive assistant, wherein you two became much closer. Jake was the ideal boyfriend. He was smart, good-looking, and fun to be with. You might have a chance with him if he reciprocates your small crush on him. 

The other one is Lee Chanyoung, a sophomore who is the rookie of Decelis University’s swimming team. He’s tall, handsome, but was a shy kid that you interviewed back when you were part of Decelis Publications. You remembered flustering him with your compliments, making the poor kid blush hard. You don’t mind dating him if only your interaction with him becomes frequent, but for now, he’s just an eye candy crush. 

Then, there are the unreachable ones. Your crushes who will forever remain in the crush-zone. Those crushes of yours that you had 0.0001% chance to date with, and so what? It’s just a crush, a small admiration to them.

Like Kang Taehyun. The most popular student in your department. He just happens to be the president of the Education Department’s student council. He holds a good reputation among his peers. Friendly and has a good aura around him. You had a few interactions with him and the rumors about his kindness exceeded you. Despite that, he remains (and will remain) unreachable due to the fact that he has a girlfriend. — you don’t want to ruin a relationship of course. 

Then, there’s Lee Heeseung. The one that you considered as the most unreachable crush of yours. 

There’s not enough words to describe Lee Heeseung, but he was everything. That man is everyone’s dream guy. Considering that he’s been a classmate of yours since freshman year, it’s undeniable that he’s an intelligent student. Considered as one of your department’s top students. 

Aside from that, he’s like Decelis University’s Troy Bolton. Heeseung lives a double life of being part of your department’s basketball team and playing in a band. While Decelis’ official basketball team tries hard to recruit him, Heeseung refuses to join because he knows that he’ll have to dedicate every minute of his time for it. Meaning it has to be his top priority and nothing else.

And everyone knows why. Heeseung can’t leave his band. How can he when he’s the one who formed the band and is basically the center of it? Lee Heeseung just happens to be the vocalist and guitarist of the band Arcanum, a university band that he formed along with some other students, that includes your younger brother — which leads you to another reason why he’s unreachable.

Your younger brother, Yang Jungwon was Arcanum’s drummer. His passion in music had convinced him to join the band, befriending his seniors and forming a bond with them through making music. 

That’s when you found yourself as the older sister who comes home to her house that served as a band practice for Arcanum. Perks of living in a house just a few blocks near the university.

Heeseung being Jungwon’s friend automatically meant he was off-limits since both you and Jungwon found it weird dating his friends, (in vice versa, so does the thought of Jungwon dating your friends.) Even though you and Heeseung were classmates first, and somewhere there, you had a crush on Heeseung first before he became friends with Jungwon, you decided that he’s automatically off-limits the moment Arcanum was formed. 

Still, in your mind, even if Heeseung wasn’t Jungwon’s friend, he is still unreachable. 

Heeseung’s aura and charisma can be seen from the way he controls the stage up to how he presents himself in court and classroom. He’s proud of it, and can be defined untouchable like the rest of his bandmates.

He’s like a star that is far from your reach. Hundreds of girls would die to be his girlfriend. There’s not a day where he receives confessions. But Heeseung would just laugh it off, rejecting it with a kind tone and apologies, and everyone knows why: Lee Heeseung isn’t looking for a relationship at the moment, which crushes every girl’s dream of becoming his. 

And that sort of includes you, but you know that you’re far from becoming Heeseung’s girlfriend. There were prettier, curvier, and even smarter girls who got rejected by Heeseung. That’s why you know it’ll never cross his mind to even spare a glance at you — his friend’s older sister. 

You’re decent, average grades, and probably being an independent sister who looks after her younger brother is the only thing that you can brag about. Still, that doesn’t make you stand out of the crowd. That’s why you’re long convinced that Heeseung wouldn’t even notice you, hence making him more unreachable.

Yet, there has always been a small part inside you, wondering — probably yearning, if Heeseung can still be reachable for you. 

-

Second semesters are always hell. For some reason, you feel like there’s a curse in the second semester because the course subjects always feel heavy and draining as if it’s challenging you to give up before the academic year ends.

“This project will take about 60% of your midterm grades, so I want everyone to be crucial in this paper,” and to make it worse, you choose an elective that demands more than your major subjects. A straight thin line forming on your lips as you jotted down the instructions that’s currently flashed on the tv screen.

“You can choose your own partner in this project, but you can also opt to do it solo, just kindly inform the class beadle and have her send me the list by the end of the day, any questions?” You stared at your notes. Although the paper analysis will be heavy for you, you’ll rather do it solo than do it with someone who’ll probably slack off and leave you to do all the work. 

The professor dismissed the class. Everyone was scurrying on their desk, eager for lunch while you took your time putting down your things inside your bag, even grabbing your phone to check any message from your friends that you didn’t notice the figure approaching you.

“Y/n hey,” you felt someone tapping you back and as you turned around, you saw Heeseung standing in front of you. You only stared at him and his boyish smile while his hands were in his slack’s pockets. His backpack swinging on his right arm while he had his hairstyle like he just messily brushed it using his hand and yet, it doesn’t look like a mess. 

God, you always forgot how handsome Heeseung was up close, but that's not what you had in your mind right now. 

“Hi,” you said, barely audible. Confusion got into you since this is the first time Heeseung approached you. 

“Can we be partners for the project?” he asked, and it took you a minute to process what he just said. 

“Why?” you immediately blurted out, hopefully it didn’t come as offensive as you intended it to be. Just surprised.

“Well, you’re the only one I’m kinda close with here,” Heeseung pointed out, and that made you confused. “And you’re good at this kind of project.”

Now the second sentence made sense. “Lee Heeseung, I’m not going to carry your ass in this project.”

Heeseung’s eyes widened, “wait, that’s not what I meant. What I’m trying to say is that I trust you not to give us low grades, we’ll work together of course.” 

You only blinked. Together. For the years you and Heeseung had been classmates, this is probably the first time you and Heeseung become partners for a project. Sometimes, you two do end up in a group but this one’s different. It’s just going to be the two of you. Alone. And the fact that he asked you to be his partner had your heart going crazy. 

“You can’t do it alone? Like, genuinely?” you asked once again. 

Heeseung looks away embarrassed, “have you seen me reading a whole novel? I’ll doze off before I can go to the second page. Plus I think two heads are better than one.” 

You looked away. A part of you is panicking inside. Screaming “Emergency!” the more you interact with him, the more you’re going to be convinced that he’s reachable. But another part of you is screaming, “go get that bag!” this is your chance! You shouldn’t turn it down. 

“Fine. This one’s a month-long project, the deadline is during the examination period but I prefer passing it a week before our exam so that I can focus on my other subjects,” you explained. “Is that okay with you?”

In the end, your crush on him is bigger than your rationality. Brain short-circuiting and just convincing yourself that this is a good idea. 

“All good for me — oh right, we have a band practice in your house later after class, we can meet up there so that we can choose what novel we are going to analyse and distribute the task, how’s that sounds?” he suggested. 

See this is why Heeseung is such a dream guy. He knows how to balance his academics, even with the hectic basketball practice and band practice, he can still find time to prioritise his studies and even acing it out. 

You hate that he’s so admirable yet out of your reach, and even though he’s standing in front of you, asking you to be his project partner, you can still feel the barrier between the two of you. 

“Fine, but I might go home a bit late, I have dinner with my friends.” that was the only thing that you said before grabbing your bag. “Is there anything else that you need?”

“Nothing else, I got the instructions on my notes too. So, see you later?” Heeseung smiles. 

“See you later Heeseung,” you only said, trying your best to act nonchalantly even though your heart’s going to explode any minute.

“Oh right, eat well! Bye!” and with that, Heeseung leaves you alone there standing, caught-off guard with his words. 

What the actual fuck. You cursed internally. His words loop in your mind until you’ve met with your friends. 

“Eat well!? Girl! You should eat a lot, not spend your lunch with iced coffee!” your best friend Karina, shrieks. 

The three of you are at some small coffee shop outside Decelis for lunch. Of course, you’ll have to report your interaction with Heeseung to your friends, who were almost celebrating because of it.

“If he says that to you, then he should’ve given you money to buy your lunch so that you’ll eat well,” Yunah added, almost laughing. 

“Stop it guys, you two are being too loud,” you said in defeat, but the faint blush on your cheeks gives off the fact that you were flustered. “Okay fine, I’ll buy a sandwich and fries.” 

“Oh Heeseung’s impact~ I mean if my crush told me that, I’ll buy myself food too,” Karina teases.

You could only roll your eyes in annoyance. Standing up from your seat to buy some food for you — and not because Heeseung told you to eat well, but because you know that iced coffee wouldn’t suffice. 

You returned to your table with a tray of selected savory breads instead. Karina and Yunah are still eyeing you teasingly, which makes you cautious all of the sudden. 

“Have you ever thought about why he approached you to become his partner for the project?” Yunah asked. 

“He did say I’m the only one he’s closed with in our section,” you explained. 

“Close? Since when are you guys close? He’s much closer to Jungwon than you,” Karina rebutted.

Karina wasn’t lying. You and Heeseung aren't close. He’s the only one you interacted the least out of Arcanum. And whenever you think about it, it’s probably because your romantic crush on him makes him intimidating to you. 

“Okay? Well at least we know each other?” you weren’t sure why Heeseung did approach you, and you were holding yourself to not jump into any other conclusions. “It’s just a project guys, it’s not like he’s asking me out on a date.”

“See, what if that project of yours will lead to that conclusion —”

“You guys got to stop feeding into my delusions, I’m still not going to date him, he’s Jungwon’s friend,” 

“And if he doesn’t?” Karina asked. 

“I told you guys this about a hundred times, Heeseung’s not looking for a relationship at the moment, means he’s not serious about commitments, while I prefer committed relationship,” you explained further. 

“Okay and? You might be the girl that’ll make him commit,” Yunah added. 

“Guys oh my god, stop enabling me! You two are just making it worse!” you frustratedly laughed, making the two of them laugh. 

“But I’m still suspicious about Heeseung, you need to update us girl!” Karina eagerly said. “My bet is that Heeseung does have other intentions on approaching you,”

“This is nothing guys, I swear.” you casually said to them, even though deep inside you wanted to trust your friends’ words. Because, what if really? There’s a reason why Heeseung approached you all of the sudden?

The remaining afternoon classes went on. Reports, lessons, and recitations were done with ease even though you almost dozed off in one subject. The afternoon slowly darkens, with the orange sky welcoming you as you step outside your department building. 

You’ve met up with Karina and Yunah to have early dinner at a small local eatery outside Decelis University. The sun had completely set but the three of you remained at the eatery, spending a few hours gossiping and talking shit about your classmates. Later then, you three decided to leave the place and opt for frozen yoghurt as dessert. 

Yunah bid goodbye first, since her dormitory is just nearby the yoghurt place. While you and Karina walked towards the bus stop since she lives an hour away from Decelis. Conversations never stop until your friend’s bus arrives. You hugged her goodbye and as you watched the bus leave, that was your cue to go home. 

Your home, the house that you grew up in, is located just a few blocks away from Decelis. Your parents were always away due to their job, rarely home only during important events like holidays or graduations, that’s why you’ve grown accustomed to its silence. Back when you were kids, you had servants attending you but now that you and Jungwon are old enough, it has always been the two of you now, learning independence while your parents aren’t around. 

As you reached the front door of your house, you could already hear the faint sounds of their instruments, you glanced at your watch and noticed that it’s already seven-thirty in the evening, which means that they had started practice an hour ago. They’ll finish it around nine but that doesn’t mean they’ll be going home by that time. Sometimes they would play games or have snacks, either way, you’re used to it. 

You open the door quietly enough to not disturb them, removing your shoes and placing it on the racks near the doorway before you make your entrance. 

They continued practicing but all eyes darted on you, making you walk faster. A few nods and soft “hi” and “hello” were exchanged as you passed by them. It has become a usual scenario wherever you go home by the time they’re practicing, you’ll greet them out of decency.

You’re careful not to disturb them in their practice, that’s why you’re always in your room whenever they’re practicing. They do sometimes ask you to join them for dinner, which you’ll gladly do for free food. Usually, you’ll just sit there and listen to their conversation, but most of the time, they do include you in their talk. Jay and Sunghoon, being the most talkative, made you comfortable around them. 

“Noona, we have pizzas on the dining table!” Jungwon shouted, not even stopping from playing the drums. 

“I’m already full! I’ll be in my room!” you shouted before going upstairs towards your room. It wasn’t that soundproof but it was muffled enough for you not to be annoyed by the noise. 

You took a short shower before changing into a fitted shirt and pajamas, wearing a zipped jacket in addition because you were feeling cold that night. As you sat on the edge of your bed, your mind was racing all of the sudden, remembering that Heeseung was supposed to meet you tonight for the project.

Coincidentally, a knock on the door startled you, and as you opened it, Jungwon was standing in front of you. 

“Heeseung hyung is looking for you,” he said, and you can see the weird look he was giving you. Like a cat judging your whole existence.

“Did he tell you why?” you asked him.

“He said something about a project, you two were partners,” noticing the way Jungwon cringed when he said “partners.” 

“Okay, just a minute,” you grabbed your iPad and phone before going out. Patting your brother’s shoulder before you push him to start walking. You two went downstairs where the boys are on the couch, drinking some colas and eating the cold pizza. 

“Hi y/n, want some pizza?” Sunghoon offered as soon as you’re near them, but you only gave him a smile. 

“Thanks still full,” you said as you approached Heeseung who immediately darted his attention to you.

“Should we start now?” he asked, round eyes staring at you. “I’m still eating.” 

“Okay fine, why call me now then?” you crossed your arms. 

He raised the bitten pizza before giving you a smile. “Want some?”

His bandmates looked at him like they were judging his whole existence. While you only stared at him for a second before a “Huh?” escapes your lips, immediately brushing it off with a soft laugh. 

“I already told you guys, I’m still full.” you repeated. “I’ll be outside by the patio, just call me if we can start the project.” 

Heeseung watched as you went towards the hallway where the backdoor of the patio is located, his stare went for long until he felt a crumpled tissue land on his face. 

“The fuck was that?” Jungwon asked in a serious tone. 

“I’m just offering her some food,” Heeseung shrugs. “You didn’t call out Sunghoon, he’s the first one to offer.”

“Well, if you had known that I offered her first, you wouldn’t have offered either,” Sunghoon rebutted. 

“Maybe she’ll eat it if I’m the one who offered her food.” The vocalist said so casually that it made his bandmates laugh. 

“Wow, that’s rich coming from you,” Jay taunted. “You guys aren’t even that close.” 

“Yeah, that’s why it’s okay if I offer her pizza, we’re close,” Sunghoon added, a hint of teasing in his voice.

“Stop talking about my sister like I’m not here,” the youngest groans. “Really, hyungs, not only you, Heeseung hyung. Seriously —”

“Don’t date your sister, we know Jungwon, that’s like the first thing you said during our first practice in your house,” Jay answered. 

“And you have nothing to worry about? I’m literally engaged while Jay’s still yearning for that mystery girl of his.” Sunghoon stated the obvious. 

“Okay maybe you can get worried about Heeseung,” Jay grinned. 

Heeseung immediately sat up from his seat, an awkward chuckle leaving his lips. “You don’t have to worry about me too, I am not looking for a relationship you know that.” 

“Sure Hee, whatever floats your boat,” Jay mocks. 

“Yeah sure, now if you excuse me, I’ll be going to the patio because y/n and I are going to discuss our project which is a novel analysis, and you have nothing to worry about Jungwon,” Heeseung explains, saluting mockingly to Jungwon who could only do nothing but watch his friend go towards the hallway where the backdoor was. 

“Not going to stop him?” Sunghoon teased.

“I don’t want to be that annoying brother who’s too protective,” Jungwon replied, taking a sip on his drinks. 

Jay lets out a sarcastic laughter. “You didn’t just fucking said that right now.” 

Meanwhile, you're sitting peacefully on the long couch of your patio. Reviewing the instructions given by your professor when you heard the metal door creaking. Startled, you glanced at it and saw Heeseung leaning against the doorframe. 

“So, our project?” he started, approaching you as he sat on the other chair, immediately, you fixed your position, sitting legs criss-cross as you tried to act as normal as possible even though your heart was racing, mind panicking internally. 

You couldn’t even look at him for so long that you immediately scrolled through your iPad, trying to act serious even though you're palpitating inside. Is it the iced coffee you had for lunch or just the thought that Heeseung’s sitting near you? You don’t know but it’s not helping at all.

“Right, any suggestions on the novel we will be choosing? Prof. Jeon told us we can choose any novel that we wanted as long as we were able to make a good argument about why we chose it,” you explained, still eyeing your iPad where your notes were. 

“Hmm good question, you choose our novel, I don’t even know what’s good or not,” Heeseung suggested. 

That’s when you only look at him, “Heeseung, I told you I’m not going to carry you in this project.”

A nervous chuckle escaped his lips. “No, that’s not what I meant! You suggest a novel and I’m going to read it, even buy it for our project’s sake, and try my best to understand it. I’m just really not that great at this type of project so please help me with this one.”

You only blinked. Staring at him who’s pleading at you, which is funny because you never expect Heeseung — one of your department’s top students, to be failing in some areas.

“Okay but why did you even choose modern literature as an elective?” you asked suddenly confused. 

“Ran out of slots in analytical economics.” Heeseung casually said. “Come on, don’t leave me with this one y/n, I can’t fail this elective.” 

“I’m not, don't worry,” you laughed. “I’m just surprised that you’re not good at this one.” 

Heeseung chuckles because of your statement. “What? What makes you think I excel in everything?” 

You stopped for a second, “I mean — you’re one of our top students, Heeseung, that’s why.” 

“Hey, I’m not that smart, I just study hard,” Heeseung nonchalantly said. “Going back to our topic, how about we go with your favorite novel?”

“Okay, no need to flaunt it,” you sarcastically remarked. “My favorite novel? It’s The Virgin Suicides.”

“Does this involve actions and stuff?” 

You laugh at his words. “You really think a novel titled ‘The Virgin Suicides’ involves actions and stuff?” 

“I’m just kidding! Watch the movie and sure, let’s go with that one.”

A chuckle of disbelief escapes your lips, “you’ve watched the movie?”

“Hey, it’s a Sofia Coppola movie.” Heeseung pointed out. 

“So you’re a cinephile of sorts? Is your favorite movie American Psycho or some 1980s Korean independent film that has low budget but great cinematography?” you asked, raising an eyebrow.

“Yes I do love watching movies but no, my favorite movie is Toy Story 3.” 

Another laughter escapes your mouth, hearing Heeseung’s laughter made you forget the reason why you two were at that patio. You don’t know whether to believe his words or not, but hearing his soft laughter just made the butterflies in your stomach flutter so hard that you’re trying your best to conceal the fleeting feeling. 

With the cold breeze of the summer night, along the thousands of stars in the night sky, made the atmosphere lighter. Brighter along with the soft yellow lights around your patio. Heeseung’s smile never left as he stared at you, which made your smile turn into a thin line. 

So, this is what talking to your ultimate crush feels like. You thought. And for a moment, your heart stopped, realizing that this is too good to be true — making you snap from reality. That’s why you diverted back to the reason why you and Heeseung are talking in the first place. 

Going back to your meeting, you two equally divided the parts. The project seems to be lighter now that your task has been divided. Heeseung suggested that you two should brainstorm after finishing the novel, which you mindlessly nodded, jotting down the deadlines you two made so that you can finish the project in no time. 

“You know it’ll be interesting if we compare the movie adaptation to the novel,” Heeseung suggested as the two of you decided to finish the meeting. Going inside your house, but stopping midway in the hallway. 

“You’re really dedicating your time for this project huh?” you teased. “I mean I don’t mind at all.”

“Oh great! We should watch it together, what do you think?”

“What —” you were caught-off guard. Did Heeseung just ask you to watch it together with him?

You became quiet for a moment. Recalling your friend’s words — how Heeseung has other intentions on why he approached you for the project. Is this the reason? You’ve got to be kidding because why would Heeseung ask you to watch The Virgin Suicides with him? For a project that’s only a novel analysis? There’s got to be another reason why. 

But from the moment you were too quiet, too deep in your thoughts, a loud clearing of the throat snapped you out. You glanced and saw Jungwon raising an eyebrow at the two of you. 

“Jay hyung and Sunghoon hyung had left a while ago,” Jungwon stated. “They said you’re taking your time with y/n.”

“Ah shit, now I have to commute back home,” Heeseung groans. “Sorry Won, we just want to make sure our project’s perfect and organized.”

Jungwon only shrugs before glancing at you — that’s when you remembered.  

“I’m okay with it, let’s just do it after finishing the novel,” you answered Heeseung. “I think that concludes everything about our project.”

“Yeah sure, well thanks for your time y/n. I have to go now before Jungwon kicks me out,” Heeseung laughs. 

“I really am about to,” Jungwon said with a glare. 

Heeseung gives you a small smile and wave before walking towards Jungwon who only followed his friend, leaving you standing there, heart bursting out any moment. 

You could only curse internally. You didn’t just fucking spent a few hours with your ultimate crush alone in your patio. God, your preconceived notion of him being everyone’s dream guy with all the brains and charisma is the tip of the iceberg. He just happens to be pathetic in some areas but at the same time, still knows the littlest details in niche topics. You want to curse the gods because why would they create such an ideal man but make him unreachable for you. 

You could only stomp your feet out of frustration before calming yourself for a minute. Taking deep breaths, you decided to call it night, leaving the hallway and going upstairs when midway, your younger brother called you, watching him climb the stairs before standing next to you. 

“So, you and Heeseung hyung —”

“Are partners for our elective project, nothing more, nothing less,” you replied immediately. “It’s normal Won, we’re classmates remember.”

“Just reminding you noona, about our agreement,” Jungwon heaves out a sigh. “Don’t want you to fall for Heeseung hyung, he kinda tends to give girls mixed signals.” 

“Funny that you’re saying that when he’s a friend of yours,” you pointed out. 

“He knows it himself too,” Jungwon shrugs.

“Don’t worry about it Won, I don’t think Heeseung finds me attractive though.” you answered, thinking that Arcanum sees you as ‘Jungwon’s older sister.’ 

“Hey! You’re pretty, what on earth are you talking about?” your younger brother immediately replied, seeing him all worked-up, you could only laugh as you pat his shoulders.

“You’re just saying that because we’re siblings,” you teased. “You don’t have to worry about anything Won, this is just a project. Okay, I’m kinda tired now, so let’s just go to sleep.” 

The two of you went upstairs together, saying goodnight to each other before proceeding to go to each other’s room. The beaming silence makes you lost in your thoughts. You made your way towards your bed and as you lay down there, clutching on your iPad, the smile on your face never faded, heck it even grew wider at the thought that you have reasons to grow closer with Heeseung. 

Of course, it’s still under the disguise of the fact that you two were project partners, but it’s a way to show to you that Heeseung is, somehow, reachable. 

-

The next few weeks were nothing but a fast forward in your life. 

You continue going on with your routine, with one sudden turn — the novel rests idly inside your bag. Rereading it for the project, and as you turn every page you wonder about your partner. 

It halted to you that everything was actually for project purposes. You and Heeseung remained the same. The barrier between the two of you going back to the same height and him returning to your unreachable category — and you were okay with it, no more heart burns and an imaginative mind clouding your delusional self.

Of course, Heeseung continued coming over to your place. Their band practices went normal where you would just greet them with short conversations before you lock yourself in your room. No more private conversations and such, you can tell that Jungwon felt at ease, thinking what you and Heeseung had is just some academic collaboration. 

But by the end of the week, you were surprised when Heeseung approached you. 

“I’m like halfway through the novel and there’s a lot of scenes that were so important but weren't included in the film, we need to brainstorm that.” Heeseung told you.

“I thought you'd be the type to doze off before proceeding to the next page?” you teased. 

“Well I need to lock in because I’m required to read it, but it's an interesting novel though,” he replied. 

And just when you thought you'd be at peace. Heeseung asked you for a short brainstorming. “Alright, you choose when and what time since you’re the busy one here.”

“I’m thinking Saturday, it’s my free day. I literally just sleep and play the whole day, so I wouldn’t mind spending my free day with you.” 

You tried your best to ignore his words. Cursing him internally because why does he always catch you off guard? You let out an awkward chuckle before glancing at him. “Okay, Saturday — wait, this Saturday right?”

Heeseung only nods. “Cool — uhm, what time and where?”

“Wait, how about we exchange numbers? So that we can contact each other.” 

Woah. This is going to be the end of you. Lee Heeseung asking for your number? Now that���s a reach. You mindlessly nod, letting out a squeaky “sure” before grabbing your phone for him to type his number — same goes with him on your phone. 

“There, I even put my photo there too,” Heeseung laughs, giving you back your phone. 

“You’re fast, I would’ve put a meme photo on your contact list.” you only replied as you gave him back his phone. You glanced at his contact number wherein his selfie is already plastered on his contact photo. You can tell that he just took the photo just now and why the hell does he know his angle? Now you’re just frustrated because he’s too good with everything he does. 

“You didn’t put a photo of yours,” Heeseung said, looking at the dull contact. “Come on, I’ll take a picture of you.”

And as if his words were like a spell, you only smiled in front of him as you held out a small peace sign. Heeseung smiles as he captures the photo, saving it as your contact photo. 

“Cute, now, we match,” Heeseung flaunts his contact photo on you, which only made you chuckle. Trying so hard not to give his words meaning. 

“Just tell me the details Heeseung, see you on Saturday,” you told him. “I have to go now, my friends are waiting for me.”

“See you! Stay safe!” he said, waving lightly as you left. 

You wanted to scream. Really, you’re internally screaming. You need a pillow where you can muffle your screams but the only thing you could do is cover your face with your hands as you scream. Both Karina and Yunah looked at you teasingly as you dropped on your knees inside Yunah’s dorm room. 

“No, why would he do that!? Why!?” you whined, as you dropped dead on the floor. 

“See I told you he has intentions,” Karina pointed out. 

“No! He can’t! Maybe he’s just nice —”

“Girl, are you serious? He said, and I quote “I don’t mind spending my free day with you.” and you’re going to conclude that he’s just nice!?” Yunah frustratedly shouted. 

“Let’s break it down y/n. First, he asked you to meet him on a Saturday, his supposed free day but he doesn’t mind spending it with you. Then, he asked for your number, and he fucking took a photo of you! And what did he say afterwards? You two match? What the actual fuck because the last straw was him telling you “stay safe!” if that doesn’t conclude anything other than he’s interested in you, then I don’t know why you’re so in denial about it.” Karina summarized.

You could only let out a deep sigh. Karina had summarized EVERY hint that Heeseung may be into you, not until you remember — “But Jungwon said he’s a mixed signal type of guy, I just don’t want to jump into conclusions guys,” you immediately rebutted. 

Both Yunah and Karina looked at you, a furrow of eyebrows and forehead creased before a disappointed “ahhh” escaped their lips.

“I mean, have you seen the guy? He has a natural flirty attitude! So the tendency is girls will really think that he’s interested in them — even me! But I don’t want to assume anymore but ugh!” that’s when you grabbed Yunah’s plushie and smashed your face right into it. Letting out a muffled scream for five seconds before looking at your friends once again with a pitied look. 

“We get it, your long-time crush, who you always say is unreachable suddenly became reachable midway junior year, your crash-out is valid girl,” Yunah assured. “But don’t forget to address the other problem, he’s Jungwon’s friend.”

“Fuck, I forgot that one,” you only let out a breathy laugh. “Okay, I’m calmed now. This is just a crash out, just a small vent because Heeseung approached me and asked for my number. This is nothing guys! It’s totally nothing.” 

“If he really is a mixed-signal giver, then just be careful y/n, those are the worst type of guys,” Karina huffs.

“I know, just don’t enable me anymore! You guys are at fault in this one too,” you pointed, making your best friends laugh. 

-

When Saturday arrived, you and Heeseung agreed to meet at a small coffee shop near Decelis after lunch. 

By the time you arrived at the coffee shop, you quickly noticed Heeseung near a corner. He’s reading the novel, even wearing glasses that you assumed were fake yet, it suits his visual. You only smile before walking towards him, who immediately felt your presence. 

“Hi” he greets, smiling as you sit in front of him. 

“Hi, have you ordered coffee?” you asked. 

“I did, how about you?” he asked you back.

“Maybe later, since I’m still full from lunch,” you simply said. “Should we start our brainstorming or do you want to read more pages?”

Heeseung softly chuckles, closing the book as he looks at you. “No wonder this is your favorite novel, it’s a good novel to be honest.”

A skip in your heart was all you felt when he said those words. Smiling, you said, “really?” as Heeseung continued explaining to you why he liked the novel. You only sat there, watching Heeseung ramble about the novel — your favorite novel to be exact.

You know that this is only for academic purposes but hearing Heeseung talk about “The Virgin Suicides” tugs your heart with joy. It’s your favorite novel! It felt like he was getting to know you through your favorite stuff.

“How about you? Don’t tell me, you’re not reading it anymore because you’ve read it?” Heeseung suddenly blurted out, making you laugh softly before grabbing your bag, revealing your old copy which was full of anecdotes and bookmarks. 

“Woah, that’s impressive,” he said, grabbing your copy and skimming through it. 

“I have notes and have bookmarked my favorite quote and everything, but it’s not bad to reread it again in case I missed something,” you simply shrugged. 

“Glad I chose you as my partner in this project,” Heeseung casually said and you only stared at him for a second before taking a sip on your coffee. 

“Consider yourself lucky,” you stated, trying hard to conceal your flusteredness. 

As Heeseung returned you the book, your phone suddenly started ringing. You immediately grabbed it from your bag, and saw that it was Jungwon who’s calling. 

Heeseung watched as your soft expression turned into a different one in a span of your call with Jungwon, your tone rising higher than before like you were lecturing your younger brother. He only smiled as you rolled your eyes along with your frown. 

“You owe me Jungwon,” you told your brother before ending up the call. 

“You need to go now?” Heeseung asked. 

“No, but maybe later. Jungwon and I were supposed to do groceries but he’s busy he told me, he’s going to cram a whole lesson for their quiz, and you know how he is when he’s too focused on reviewing,” you explained to Heeseung. “Now I have to go to the store alone —”

“I can come with you,” Heeseung volunteered. 

“What? No, it’s okay Hee, I’ll just book a car on the way home —” 

“Still, it’s heavy for you to carry it, come on, I don’t mind,” he insisted.

“You might end up going home late,” you rebutted, praying internally that he’d take the hint. 

“And I don’t mind at all,” Heeseung stands up from his seat, and that’s when you realise that you’re doomed. “Come on now, we managed to make progress with our project. Let’s go get those groceries.”

The supermarket is just a bus stop away from Decelis. Once you two entered the busy store, Heeseung automatically pulled a cart which made you stop, glancing at him who only gave you a smile. 

“Go on, I’ll just follow you behind,” Heeseung gestured and you only nod, going straight for the nearest aisle. 

You’re not going to give meaning to everything. You chanted internally. It’s just Heeseung accompanying you to go on your weekly groceries run, because your brother ditched you. He’s just there to accompany you. Nothing more, nothing less. 

But curse the movies and novels because you know groceries. They’re sweet and cute, and have a touch of domesticity in it. Catering to each other’s references, choosing what kind of cereal you two will buy or something. 

The thought of you doing groceries with Heeseung had your imagination go so creative that you almost bumped to the fruit stand. If it wasn’t Heeseung who pulled you immediately, you would’ve knocked down the pyramid of oranges. 

“Careful there,” Heeseung laughs. “Going to buy some fruits?”

“Maybe some bananas since Jungwon likes snacking on them — oh, strawberries too.” you awkwardly walked away from his touch and proceeded to the selection of fruits, eyeing on the fresh looking ones. 

Heeseung could only stare at you as your brows furrowed, grabbing every container, staring at it for every second before moving on to another. It wasn’t until you picked the best and proceeded to the other section. 

He follows you quietly. Watching you grab some products as the cart started to become halfway full, and you two haven’t gone to the other sections. Heeseung silently observes you as you mumble some words like how you’ll probably cook the chicken by Thursday, or you need this ingredient. 

Now, he understands why Jungwon still depends on you even though their drummer tends to have a matured streak. His older sister is reliable, and he thinks that that’s admirable of you. 

“You’re taking these groceries seriously,” Heeseung blurted out, snapping your thoughts. That’s when you realized that you spent a few minutes walking around and picking up products while Heeseung only followed you behind, pushing the cart for you. 

“Sorry, I’m not really fun to be with, especially in a grocery store,” you apologetically replied. 

“It’s not like that, but you look cute to look at,” Heeseung pointed out. “You’re pouting too much just staring at what kind of tofu are you going to buy.”

A faint blush rushed over your cheeks, you awkwardly laughed as you looked away from him. “Just a habit — come on now, I know you’re dying to go to the snacks section.”

As the two of you went through the snacks section, you skimmed around the aisles of chips, grabbing your favorite along with Jungwon’s. As you returned to Heeseung, you noticed how he sneaked in some snacks for him, while he innocently looked away.

You only smiled as you placed down the chips, “fine, I’ll buy it for you Heeseung.”

“Wait, I’m going to pay you with cash,” Heeseung argued, grabbing his wallet when you stopped him.

“A compensation for accompanying me,” you rebutted. “So that you have your own chips in our house.”

Heeseung only has an embarrassed look on his face as he grabs another one. “Fine, but I’ll add another one.”

You two were able to finish the groceries after a half an hour, paying it with the credit card your parents left. Now, the two of you are by the small food court beside the supermarket, buying some snacks for the two of you. 

“This is nice,” Heeseung said. The bowl of instant ramen is warm in front of him as he blows off some steam before eating it. 

“You’re much more patient than Jungwon,” you replied, taking a small bite on the fish cake. “I always wanted to try the snacks here, but Jungwon would prefer going home after.”

“Then next time you go buy your groceries, text me so I can accompany you again,” Heeseung suggested. 

“You’re just here for the free snacks.” you jokingly said.

“That, and I don’t mind accompanying you.” Heeseung rebutted. “Something about doing groceries feels nice, not gonna lie.”

Who would’ve thought? Lee Heeseung doesn’t mind doing groceries with you? The thought sounds nice — sweet if you’re being exaggerated. Heeseung helped in placing the products inside the box, even carrying the box so that you wouldn’t lift a finger. But you know that this is just a one time thing. Jungwon will kill both of you if he discovers that Heeseung accompanied you to do groceries.

-

A few days had passed and your progress in the project was halfway done. Just a little smoothing on the analysis and adaptation comparison (which wasn't from the instructions but you and Heeseung put it in in hopes of gaining additional points.), and you can pass the project even earlier than you two had scheduled. 

Heeseung’s analysis and reports were on spot. No need for you to revise since it was clear and concise, and you’re glad that you agreed to become his partner. You weren’t stressed throughout the paper, making you admire Heeseung for his dedication in the project. 

Now, you’re sitting on your couch, biting on your nails as you remember that today was the day that you’re half-anticipating, half-dreading for — your movie screening with Heeseung. 

Considering that you’re just doing it in the abode of your home, and considering that you two are just project partners who insisted on watching the movie together, you call it a movie screening rather than a date. (and you consider that your younger brother might join in case something happens between you and Heeseung — which, your very imaginative mind shouldn’t have clouded your thoughts but anyway.) 

A ring on the doorbell startled you, almost tripping as you tried to put on your house slippers. As you opened the door, there stood Heeseung in his glory, wearing his department jacket with a fitted sleeveless shirt underneath that hugged his leaned body. Not to mention, those baggy denim pants and cool sneakers.

Your first thought is why he’s overdressed for a movie screening but fucking hell, he’s so handsome that your mind short-circuited especially when he’s holding a helmet. Did he just drive all the way here using his motorbike? God forbids Lee Heeseung to be ten times more attractive than what you’ve thought. 

“Come in,” you said in a quiet yet high-pitched tone that as Heeseung passed by, you physically cringed because of it. 

“So, are you ready for some movie date?” Heeseung asked, slumping on the couch comfortably. 

It’s a movie screening. A movie screening, not a date. This doesn’t look like a date — “of course! Just open the tv, I already selected it there. I’ll just go get some snacks.” you said, going towards the kitchen where your stock was.

“Need help?” Heeseung asked.

“No thanks! You’re a guest, make yourself comfortable!” you answered, because deep inside you’re about to burst any moment.

What the hell. Of course, Heeseung doesn’t know how to take a hint because he stood up from the couch like the gentleman he is and followed you towards the kitchen. You let him wander around as you placed the microwaveable popcorn inside the microwave, and while waiting, you opened your fridge to grab a few drinks for the two of you. Placing it on the tray as Heeseung found the pantry of snacks. 

“Hey, my snacks are still here,” he laughed, grabbing the bag of chips and sweets you bought for him last week.

“You didn’t eat it when you had practice here?” you asked. 

“I told myself I’ll just eat it during our movie date,” Heeseung casually said, and you are holding yourself back from asking him why he keeps on saying that this is a date.

Mixed signals. Mixed signals! Heeseung probably didn’t mean it. You gave him an awkward smile before shifting your attention towards the microwave where just in time, had just finished cooking the popcorn. 

“Heeseung hyung? You’re here?” the two of you stopped when a familiar voice echoed inside the kitchen.

“We’re going to watch a movie for our project,” Heeseung casually said. “Wanna watch it with us?”

As you turn around, Jungwon gives you a knowing look. The “our agreement, don’t forget.” look and you only gave him a nod as he glanced back at his friend. 

“No thanks, you guys enjoy it though — hyung what I told you!” Jungwon warns once again, making Heeseung chuckle. 

“I know dude, calm down,” then, he looks at you. “Let’s go?”

As the two of you arrived at the living room, you two opted to sit on the long couch — sitting on both ends of the couch. You relaxed your legs on the extension of the couch, hugging the throw pillow while Heeseung had his legs sprawled on the space between the two of you. 

Jungwon passes by, glancing at the two of you, contended that you two are a few feet apart, he returns to his room and that was your cue. You grabbed the remote and clicked play, the sound of the movie slipping through the speaker, and there, the two of you watched in peace. 

For the duration of the movie, you two were too immersed with it. Only eating the snacks as both of you were too focused on the scenes, trying to understand the plot and narration, especially since both of you know that the movie’s adaptation is far from the novel. 

“I hate Trip,” Heeseung suddenly blurted out midway through the movie. You only glanced at him, clutching the pillow you were holding. “He’s such an asshole, leaving Lux on the field alone? That’s so sick.” 

“All of the guys are assholes,” you explained. “They don’t even know these girls, they just fantasized about them.”

“Yeah that too, but Trip’s the most jerk out of all of them,” Heeseung laughs. “After stealing Lux’ virginity, he immediately dropped her.”

“All guys do that,” you bitterly said. 

Heeseung didn’t say a word, immediately catching your bitter tone. He glances at you as you munched a few chips to ease the tension. 

“You don’t have to answer it but…saying from your experience?” he asked, body shifting to face you. 

“My ex-boyfriend he…it was after prom too, everything was special and wholesome — from what I feel, then a few weeks later he broke up with me,” you laughed bitterly. “But that was back in high school, I shouldn’t have dated high school guys, they’re immature and horny.” 

“Woah, that’s shitty of him,” Heeseung could only say. “Does he study here?”

“Why? Are you going to hunt him down? He went overseas, and don’t worry, Jungwon gave him a punch and kick in the shin,” you laughed.

“Is that why Jungwon’s so protective of you?” Heeseung asked out of the blue. 

“Half of it is the reason why,” you answered. “My ex was already a walking red flag before we got together, Jungwon warned me and I didn’t listen to him. So when it happened, he kinda had that ‘I told you so’ look but at the same time, he didn’t push it. Simply because I was really hurt at that time.”

Heeseung nods, watching as you shrug with your words, like you’re over it.

“I mean Jungwon’s not that overprotective at all. He’s not the ‘they have to go through me’ type of younger brother. He doesn’t care who I date but because of my experience, I pretty much held a high standard on dating guys.” you laughed.

“Oh really?” Heeseung lazily leans on the couch. “What’s your type then?”

You blinked at his words, knowing damn well that your whole ideal type is in front of you.

“Are we really pausing the movie midway for that question?”

“Come on, in exchange I’ll tell you my type,” he bargained.

Now you’re curious, wondering what kind of girl Heeseung wants, so you bite on it. 

“Okay, I want someone taller than me — that’s the only physical trait that I want. He’s got to be smart and handsome because Jungwon will judge me if I date an ugly and stupid guy. What else? I prefer a straightforward guy because mixed signals are shitty, I don’t want to waste my time overthinking your words.” you replied. 

You saw Heeseung's expression shift when you mention ‘straightforward guys.’ His jaw slacking before quipping a small smile before he spoke, “that’s all?”

“Do you want it to be really specific? Like he’s good at cooking or what type of sport he plays? I don’t go there, just be genuine and straightforward with your feelings for me, and we’re good.” you brushed off. “So, your type?”

“My type?” Heeseung ponders it for a moment, before glancing at you, his stare on you was too long but he doesn’t notice it — but you do. “Probably someone who’s mature and independent, but not too distant that she’s not open about her feelings. You get it right? I don’t mind their physical appearance. I just don’t want girls who are too clingy that it’s suffocating but at the same time, I still want them to be affectionate to me.” 

Not what you expected. Most boys would describe their ideal firstly by their physical appearance. Some want short girls, long hair or short hair, even the skin complexion. While Heeseung’s ideal type doesn’t rely on those, you can still conclude that his standards are high. 

“Sounds like your dream girl needs to be invented in a lab.” you teased. “Have you ever thought that maybe your dream girl is one of the girls you’ve rejected?”

“I know this kinda sounds egoistic but most girls, those who would confess their love to me, they sometimes just like the idea of being with me, Lee Heeseung. Most of them really don’t know who I really am and wouldn’t bother knowing me.”

And to think that you’re one of them gave you a hint of guilt. You have a lot of preconceived notions about Heeseung, assuming that he’s this dreamy guy that’s charismatic and everything. But with the small interactions that you had with him, you slowly realized that he’s more than what you thought. 

A small smile escapes your lips as you shift your attention to the paused screen of your tv, grabbing the remote and fiddling with it as the awkward silence hovered between the two of you. 

“So you’re just like the Lisbon sisters?” you gawked, and Heeseung stared at you for a second before bursting out into fits of laughter. 

“You have your way with words y/n,” Heeseung stated. “But you could say something like that — except the suicide part because my parents are actually decent people who wouldn’t put me on house arrest.” 

You two continued watching the movie. Both falling into a tranquil silence until the end of the movie. The ending credits were rolling but neither of you moved. That’s when you grabbed your phone to check what time it was — it was almost eight in the evening. 

“Great movie,” Heeseung started. “Cut out a lot of scenes from the novel, but Coppola managed to retain the whole vibe of the novel.” 

“I think our project will be successful, given that you had a lot of things to say, I feel like Mr. Jeon should give us additional points if we exceed his maximum number of pages.” you jokingly pointed out. 

“Hey, I’m sure you have much more to add to our project than I do,” Heeseung assured. “Either way, we’re a great team don’t you think?” 

Heeseung raises his hands, smiling at you who didn’t sink in what to do first. Not until Heeseung waves his hands one more time before you clasp his hands, shaking it as both smiles become wide. You didn’t miss the way Heeseung’s hands squeezed your hands lightly before letting it go. 

“We have a week before our agreed deadline, let’s get this done so that we can focus on our midterms,” Heeseung said, standing up from his seat. “I should get going now, Jungwon might wonder why I’m still around.” 

You only laughed as you stood up to walk him towards the door. “I enjoyed the movie Heeseung, take care on the way home.” 

But what surprised you is Heeseung suddenly brushed the stray hairs that almost covered your face, smiling as his hands linger near your cheeks a bit longer than you expected. 

“Goodnight y/n, I enjoyed the movie too,” Heeseung smiles. 

You watch as Heeseung hops onto his motorbike, waving at you before starting its engine and driving away. You stood there speechless in front of your doorway that you didn’t even notice that Jungwon had witnessed the scene. 

So when you turned around, you were surprised when you made eye contact with your younger brother. 

“Have you been there the whole time?” you asked, heart beating fast like you were a deer caught in the headlight. 

“No, I just got down,” Jungwon lied instead. “Heeseung hyung went home now?”

“Yeah — he just did,” you said, almost stumbling to your words. “It’s almost late, do you want to eat dinner or —”

“I’m curious, with the way Heeseung hyung acts around you, have you ever thought of having a crush on him?” Jungwon said, and that made your world stop. 

Were you that obvious? There’s no way Jungwon was able to catch it but then again, this is Jungwon we’re talking about. Your younger brother who’s observant and quick to pick up things. He’s the only person that knows you damn well.

“Why would you think of that?” you immediately asked instead.

“I mean, he’s a guy, he’s also handsome and how he acts — as a girl, have you?” and relief was all you could feel because Jungwon wasn't able to pick it up. 

“Jungwon, whenever I see Heeseung, I see him as your friend, and we’ve said it many times, it’s weird to date your friends.” you answered quickly, since it has always been your excuse. 

“Well, if he wasn’t my friend?” Jungwon asked, crossing his arms.  

You raised an eyebrow, now there’s a sudden change in Jungwon’s tone. Like he was asking you hypothetically. “Where is this going Won?”

“Nothing nothing,” Jungwon said, shaking his head as he headed towards the kitchen, with you following him behind. “You two have been close lately, that’s why. I’ve already told you about Heeseung hyung.”

“And I’m not going to give meaning to everything he does,” you assured, pinching your brother’s cheeks which made him scowl. “I’m not that stupid girl anymore Won.”

Despite internally, you were celebrating every interaction you had with Heeseung, you know that you’ll never have a chance with Heeseung. 

You can only hold on to the fact that Heeseung may be considered reachable in your sort. But of course, just like your other crushes, whatever you feel about Heeseung was just a crush. A fleeting feeling of admiration along with the butterflies in your stomach. Nothing more, because the deeper your feelings may go for him — it’ll just end up hurting you. 

-

You submitted your project just a few days before your planned deadline. Everything was perfect for you and Heeseung. The flow of the paper was readable, arranged properly with a clear analysis of the novel. Light revisions were made before passing it to Prof. Jeon. Your professor was impressed that you two were able to pass it earlier compared to others. Making you two confident that you’ll receive a passing grade from it.

But submitting the project also means that there’s no reason for you to approach Heeseung. But you find that situation better than getting closer than him. It’ll just save you from falling from him deeper. No more crash outs, no more venting of feelings, and assuming that everything Heeseung does has meaning —

“Hey, you’re going to that art exhibit?” Heeseung approaches you suddenly.

You glanced at him twice before your mouth moved, “wait, the one from Prof. Lee’s subject?”

“Yeah, I mean it’s voluntary but you’re interested in art right? I remember you told me that one time.” 

You couldn’t even recall when you told him that. Was it when you two were on your ride home from your groceries? Or was it when you two were discussing your novel analysis but got segue midway? Either way, you found yourself surprised to hear that from Heeseung. He remembered something that you’ve mentioned. 

“Oh — well, I do of course,” you stuttered. “Why?”

“Let’s go together? I also wanted to see it, they seem interesting,” Heeseung casually said. 

“Right, Saturday?” you asked. 

“Saturday afternoon? I’ll see you at the museum? Or should I just pick you up?” 

And let Jungwon see the two of you? “No, let’s just meet at the museum, around three?”

“Sounds great, see you!” Heeseung waves goodbye to you and you almost melt from where you were standing. 

Who would’ve thought that after the project. Heeseung will still find a way to approach you. Should you give a meaning to this one? Because there’s no way in hell that he asked you to go see an exhibit that is voluntary, on a Saturday, as what? As friends? You don’t even know if you could consider him as your friend. 

You tried to conceal your beating heart, but anytime it’s going to burst out at any moment. You wanted to go to an empty, hollow place and scream into the void, because as much as you want to deny it, you couldn’t help to conclude that you’re going out with Heeseung, alone, with no Yang Jungwon watching you two like a hawk. 

Yet, the thought of Heeseung being Jungwon’s friend was thrown out of the window the moment Saturday arrived. You stood there outside the entrance of the museum. Your hands clammy and sweaty as you stood there awkwardly, internally cursing yourself for arriving ten minutes earlier than your agreed time. 

You were wearing a white maxi skirt, pairing it with a baby tee and thin cardigan, not your usual get-up but you wanted to at least look decent in front of Heeseung. The art exhibit was located inside the museum of the art. It’s an exhibit dedicated to children’s rights. They displayed hundreds of drawings and paintings drawn by kids alongside important and historical paintings. 

Your professor, Ms. Lee was an advocate, that’s why she encouraged your class to visit the exhibit. While you’re thinking of going there along with your friends — Heeseung approached you first. 

Speaking of Heeseung, your eyes landed on him who’s walking towards you. The smile on his face widening as he stood in front of you. He was wearing a long-sleeved buttoned shirt, tucked in front of his washed denim pants. Some silver jewellery on his hands and neck, and to compliment it all, he was wearing his fake eyeglass with his hair bangs down.

“You look beautiful,” Heeseung started, and that’s when your heart started to beat rapidly.

“Thanks, you look good too,” you complimented him back. “Should we go inside?” 

The two of you made its way inside the entrance. Signing up for the exhibit before going inside the first room of the museum. 

It was quiet, a bit cold, and there were a lot of people who came by to visit the exhibit. You and Heeseung walked side by side, stopping at every painting just to read the description, and perhaps fawn over it even though it was obvious it was a kid’s painting. Sometimes, you gawk at the historical paintings. Despite visiting the museum a couple of times, you never failed to be mesmerized by it. 

“This one’s cute,” Heeseung pointed out. It was a painting of a kid’s pet — obviously, it looked like a monster rather than a dog. 

You stifle a laugh as Heeseung glances at you with a confused look. “Why? Did I say something wrong?”

“Nothing, you seem to be enjoying this one,” you pointed out. 

“You think I’m not the type of guy who would go to museums or some art gallery?” Heeseung asked. “Guess you don’t know me at all.” 

You became quiet for a minute, “I actually don’t, I’m surprised you agreed to come with me here.”

“Couldn’t miss the opportunity, it’s great to see kid’s scribbles beside historical paintings,” Heeseung laughs. 

“You seem fond of kids,” you told him. 

“That’s why I chose education, I always wanted to teach kids. I know they’re hyper and loud, but better to teach the alphabet than high school chemistry,” Heeseung explained. 

“Oh so education has always been your first choice?” you asked, surprised. 

“What? Surprised that a guy like me actually wanted to become a teacher? Yeah, a lot of people say that.”

“I don’t know, I’m just used to education students who weren't accepted to their first choice so they ended up choosing it,” Heeseung glances at you and you give him a smile. “I know because education wasn’t my first choice.”

“Wait right there, what?” Heeseung asked, surprised. “Not gonna lie, you give off the vibe of a girl who wanted to become a teacher.”

“I was planning on taking architecture but I failed the drawing test, so here I am,” you simply shrugged. “But I learned to love education too, so don’t come at me mr. education is my first choice.”

A small chuckle escapes on Heeseung’s lips, “I guess we really don’t know each other that well.”

“Right.” you only said. Realizing that you two are still on that stage where you two aren’t friends, but aren’t more than that — acquaintance? Maybe you’ll put you two in that category. Contended with that conclusion, you hum lightly as you shift your attention towards the paintings. 

The two of you continued walking around the room. You were simply amazed at the historical paintings but it’s funny seeing a six-years-old’s painting of her family beside it. But you can only feel nothing but small jumps of joy looking at it. 

Heeseung, on the other hand, seems to be more immersed in the gallery than you. Eyeing on every display the museum has. Laughing at some kid’s painting but at the same time, cooing at it. Finding it precious and innocent for him. 

As the two of you moved to the second room, only a few people were there. There weren’t any kid’s paintings anymore, only artifacts and displays but you and Heeseung decided to completely tour around the museum. 

“Why don’t you ask me a question?” Heeseung blurted out of nowhere. 

“What for?” you asked, raising an eyebrow. 

“Well, we don’t know each other very well,” Heeseung stated. “And you seem to have a lot of misinterpreted impressions about me.”

“Sounds like you just wanted to talk about you,” you grinned. 

“No, this is like, twenty questions. After you ask a question, I ask you a question back,” he said. 

“Alright,” you hum, thinking of what’s a decent question to ask him. “Will you still continue performing after graduation? You seem like you really wanted to become a teacher.” 

“Big question already? That’s hard,” for a minute Heeseung pondered about it, glancing at every display before looking at you. “I don’t mind, actually it depends on the others. Jay and Sunghoon wanted to, Jungwon isn’t still quite sure especially since he’s a year below us. We’ll talk about it next year.” 

“I’m pretty sure that Jungwon wanted to play for the band, he loves being part of Arcanum,” you shared, making Heeseung smile.

“Okay my turn, if Jungwon didn’t establish the ‘don’t date my sister’ rule, who would you date out of all his friends?” 

You awkwardly chuckled. “Why are you asking that?” 

“I’m just curious,” Heeseung nonchalantly replied.

“Will it boost your ego if I chose you?” you teased, and Heeseung scoffed in disbelief.

“It’s a hypothetical question y/n.”

“Fine, hypothetically I’ll choose Jake.” you answered. 

Heeseung’s brows furrowed. “Jake?” 

That’s when you laugh, “What? You thought it only revolved around Arcanum? Aren’t there like seven of you?” 

“Yeah but — Jake?” His tone surprised more than ever.

“It’s a hypothetical question, Heeseung,” you grinned. “No explanations, my turn and since we’re talking about dating, why are you still single?”

“I’ll get back to you y/n, but to answer your question, I just like being single. Having a girlfriend isn’t what I have in mind right now, and I don’t do casual shits too.”

“Jungwon told me that you’re a mixed signal giver,” you snitched, and Heeseung only laughed. 

“Everyone thinks that, but trust me, I don’t leave girls hanging. I guess they just assume that my gestures have meaning to it, that’s why they think I’m into them,” Heeseung explained. “I mean if I helped you carry some heavy things, would you give meaning to it?”

It’s funny because he did accompany you to do groceries one time. “That depends, if you helped me numerous times, then I’ll give meaning to it.” 

“Yeah well some girls don’t, one time, I helped a girl cross the street one time, and she thought I liked her,” Heeseung explained. “I’m just being nice!”

You only laughed at his words. “I mean if a handsome guy helped me cross the street, I’ll assume a lot of things too.” 

Heeseung groans, “whatever, I’ll just keep rejecting them, I enjoy being single. It’s chill and no love problems, look at Jay and Sunghoon, I don’t think I can do that to myself.” 

Your smile faded. Shifting your attention towards the display. Thinking that whatever you two are doing right now is probably a friendly date.

But at the same time, this is different from him helping someone cross the street. Heeseung could’ve asked his friends to accompany him, but Heeseung asked you and that’s all because he remembered that you like art. So how can you not give meaning to it?

“Okay my turn, so why Jake?” Heeseung changes the topic. 

“You’re seriously not going to let go of that one huh?” you let out a small chuckle before letting out a sigh. 

“I don’t know, he’s the first one that came to my mind,” you simply said, and in some ways, your answer wasn’t wrong. “He’s the one I’m closest to the most, maybe that’s another reason why.”

“How come you and him are closer than you and me?” Heeseung asked. “We’ve been classmates since freshman year.”

“I think it’s pretty normal, I’m not even close with most of our classmates either,” you laughed.

“I hope we become closer after this,” Heeseung blurted out. 

You stopped midway, glancing at him who only gave you a smile. 

“You’re too obvious you want me,” you teased, joking with your words.

“What if I told you that I do, want you?” he grins, before grabbing your hand as he pulls you towards the next hall. Surprised by his answer and gesture, you remained quiet as his hand remained on your throughout the whole exhibit. 

You two decided to have dinner outside after finishing touring the museum. At a fast food chain because you were craving their burgers. You two continued the twenty questions, until it was almost late and the traffic had slowly dissolved.

By the end of the day, Heeseung drove you home, even opening the car of the passenger seat for you. You could only smile as you find not only the action sweet — but your whole day with Heeseung.

Not only that but Heeseung walked you towards the front door of your house. He watched as you pressed the doorbell, before looking at him. 

“I had so much fun today,” you told him. “Thank you Heeseung, I didn’t expect that you would remember that I’m interested in art.” 

“I pay attention to what you say, I also had fun too,” Heeseung casually said, acting like it’s nothing but for you, it meant something. 

“Goodnight Heeseung,” you waved, but before you went, Heeseung suddenly grabbed you by your shoulder. 

Surprised, you only stood there. His round eyes staring at you like he doesn’t want you to leave yet. But what surprised you the most was when he faced you towards him. 

Close. Way too close. Heeseung’s eyes never left yours. You can feel it, your cheeks heating up, your heart beating fast like crazy. You don’t know what to do as Heeseung's eyes darted to your lips before glancing back at you — like he’s asking for permission. 

But before you could utter another word, the door swung open and you almost fell flat when you pushed yourself away from Heeseung. 

“You guys think that I’m fucking stupid!?” Jungwon stood there, his tone dripping with anger as you were frozen from where you were standing. 

“Jungwon, it’s not what it looks like —”

“I told you many times, you can fool any girl that you want but not my sister!” Jungwon pushed Heeseung on the chest, but Heeseung didn't move.

“Dude calm down!” Heeseung shouted instead.

“You know it yourself that you’re not ready for a relationship then what the fuck is this? Taking her out on a date and almost kissing her? Stay the fuck away from my sister!”

But a mocking laugh escapes on Heeseung’s lips, looking at Jungwon like he was taunting the younger one. “I wouldn’t be surprised if y/n ends up being single forever, you’re scaring guys away,”

“Guys like you hyung! You’re not even that serious when it comes to love.” Jungwon pointed out, making you realise that he was right, but that doesn’t give him the right to get angry at Heeseung. 

“Jungwon, we weren’t doing anything, Stop it,” you butt in.

That’s when he darted his attention to you. “I’ve warned you about Heeseung hyung many times, but you never listen to me — you never listen!” he shouted, and hearing those words felt like you’re in high school again. Remembering how angry Jungwon was when he discovered what happened to you. 

You stood there as the disappointment in Jungwon’s face became more clear. You wanted to defend yourself when Heeseung stepped in.

“Jungwon stop that. She’s older than you, have some respect.” he stated.

“Don’t interfere hyung, this is between me and my sister.” Jungwon coldly said. 

“You’re the one who should stop. You know you’re suffocating y/n don’t you?” a taunting smile forming on his lips. “She’s her own person, and she couldn’t even move because you’re breathing under her neck.”

Jungwon didn’t say a word, he didn’t rebut Heeseung’s words because deep inside, his friend was right. Still, a pissed expression was written over the younger’s face. Shooting glares at Heeseung. 

“I’m not that stupid to hurt her Jungwon, maybe you should try trusting her instead of caging her.” Heeseung added, and you wonder what he meant when he said that. 

But you watch as Heeseung walks away. Leaving you and Jungwon alone there. Your lips were tightly sealed before your brother faced you. 

“Do you like Heeseung hyung?” Jungwon corners. “Don’t lie to me noona.”

You stared at him for a moment. Guilt rushing in you because in some angle, there’s a part of you who’s at fault. “Fine, Jungwon, I have had a crush on him since freshman year but it’s just a crush.”

Jungwon could only laugh in disbelief. “So all the times I told you to stay away from him were useless?” 

“No, because from the start, I know I never stood a chance on him,” and every word you said hurts you. “Even now, our hangouts, whatever this was, and every gesture he does, I’m not going to give meaning to it. I don’t want to make an assumption unless he really confessed to me that he likes me.”

“You’re just leading yourself to a cliff,” Jungwon raised an eyebrow. “Why would you still entertain him even though you know you don’t stand a chance. I don’t get you — both of you actually.” 

“Maybe Heeseung’s right, you should just trust me instead of caging me,” you answered instead. “I know what I am doing Jungwon, maybe you should just let me make my own choices this time.”

Jungwon stared at you for a whole minute, before heaving out a sigh. “Don’t come at me when Heeseung hyung hurts you, I’ve already warned you many times.” 

But before he could leave, you grabbed your brother by his arms. “Don’t be mad at Heeseung, I don’t want to be the reason why you two fought — or worse, Arcanum disbanding.”

“You should’ve thought about that before you even interacted with Heeseung hyung, the same goes with him.” Jungwon swatted his arms harshly, glaring at you before going inside the house.

-

Despite that night, Jungwon’s words still managed to stop whatever you and Heeseung had. 

It was weird. For the past few weeks, the two of you are always beside each other, talking about ‘The Virgin Suicides,’ getting to know each other through oddly specific details, and planning meetups casually, followed by a museum date, deeply knowing him more and almost kissing each other — then the next thing you knew, you two were back to being strangers.

Back to normal. You could say. Band practices continued in your house, tension seeping away with you giving them small greetings before going inside your room, and the way you and Heeseung ignored each other — both knew that whatever you two had was pointless.

For the past few days, there were no more Lee Heeseung approaching you and everything. And somehow, that should ease you — reminding you that he���s unreachable. 

You almost fooled yourself, but with the way Heeseung distanced himself after defending you from Jungwon, you were quick to conclude that he still respects his friend’s decision to not go near you, just like you should with dating your brother’s friend. 

And if Heeseung had distanced himself from you, so should you too. 

But somehow, you still ended up wherever he was. Now, he’s sitting in front of you, at a noisy bar, along with your classmates who were celebrating the end of midterms exam. The table is full of alcohol, different ones — beer, cocktails, tequilas, and vodkas. All assortments that will have everyone passed out drunk before the night ends. 

You have a decent alcohol tolerance, you’re not that close with most of your classmates and you don’t even like going out but here you are, because you overheard Heeseung joining the night out.

Avoiding him was the best option, you know where it all leads if you continued talking to him — Jungwon getting furious, Arcanum might disband, and hurting your own feelings. Lee Heeseung should’ve remained unreachable, but for all the times of him noticing you, flirting and almost kissing you, you want to know more. 

There’s an itch inside you that wants to confront him, and your normal self would get flustered if you approached him first. That’s why a bit of alcohol and drunkenness might help you gain the courage that you need. 

The night was still young. You can do your confrontation later but for now, you’re spending the first few hours enjoying and laughing along with your classmates, trying your best to socialize not until a classmate of yours raises her glass. 

“Let’s play, truth or shot!” Sieun suggested. Because all of you are seated at a long table and a spin the bottle won’t suffice, everyone gets to do it. No one wants to ruin the mood, and perhaps it was because most of them are tipsy, everyone agreed to join. 

You watch as all of them get daring questions, somewhere bold to answer the questions while others choose to drink the shot. 

“Y/n, it’s your turn!” Sieun announced excitingly, clapping her hands as she stretches the shot glass towards yours which is a mixture of tequila and beer.

“Do you guys have a question for her?” she asked the crowd. 

“I have!” Lily said, obviously drunk. “Kiss, marry, fuck, Arcanum members except your younger brother of course.” 

The whole table hollered in excitement, patting Lily because the question was too good. You only laughed at their teasing but everyone was insisting that it’s a hypothetical question especially when one specific member is present at the table. 

Heeseung looks at you, eyeing every move you make as you look at the shot glass, wondering if you’ll answer it or not. 

But you were brave. It’s just a stupid drinking game, there are chances that they won’t remember it by tomorrow. “Okay hypothetically? I’ll kiss Sunghoon but on the cheeks! And it’s a platonic kiss because I don’t want to be a homewrecker!” you laughed before pondering between the two, too long that all of them are starting to get impatient.

“Girl, Heeseung is waiting for your answer!” Sumin shakes your shoulder but you only laugh as you stare at Heeseung, a smirk forming on your lips. The alcohol clouding your mind as a bright idea popped into your mind.

“I’d marry Jay, and I’d fuck Heeseung,” you answered truthfully, which earned amountful teasing and screams from your classmates, banging the table as you could only take the shot in front of you despite answering the question. 

“We need an explanation!” Lily insisted. 

“Well Jay is the most husband material out of them, and since Heeseung mentioned that he prefers being single. A one-time sex wouldn’t be bad, right Heeseung?” you fired the question towards Heeseung who only smiled in disbelief. 

“I’ll give you a good fuck then,” Heeseung answered back, completely shutting you off. You sat there frozen as Heeseung took a sip on his beer, even wiggling his eyebrows like he was teasing you, while both your classmates continued teasing both of you. 

“Since the topic is on you Lee Heeseung, would you date y/n? If you’re not such a stuck-up guy who insists that he likes being single?” Sieun interrupted, giving the shot glass in front of Heeseung. 

Heeseung looks at the shot glass for a moment, before glancing at you, an evident smirk on his lips that makes you nervous. 

“Yeah, why not?” he said casually which made the table noisy again. 

“Oh my god you two, just make out already!”

“I dare the two of you to kiss for five seconds!”

“I wouldn’t be surprised if the two of you ended up together after tonight.”

The table had placed the attention on the two of you. Your classmates continued the teasing which only made you laugh while Heeseung remained in his seat, drinking his beer and completely ignoring the dumb request your classmates had. 

But it wasn't the peak of the night. More alcoholic drinks were ordered. There were some strangers going to your table, flirting with your classmates, asking for their numbers. Some were already crying as the song in the club reminded them of their ex, others went out for a smoke, while you remained at your table, doing some stupid game along with your classmates. 

Slowly, you’re losing yourself. Your eyes are getting heavier and as you glanced at your watch, it was already 3 am. The table was still full of your classmates when you stood up, almost falling if it wasn’t for your classmate quickly guiding you. 

“I need some fresh air!” you shouted at her. 

“Okay, do you want me to accompany you?” she asked. 

“No, I can do it!” you giggled, grabbing your purse before going outside the bar.

The cold night welcomed you, mixed with the smell of smoke of strangers talking and smoking on the empty road. You could only close your eyes as you sat at a pavement beside it — not caring if it’s dirty. Your head is spinning, everything is blurry but the only good thing is that you don’t feel like you’re going to vomit anytime. 

You looked at your watch and saw that it’s almost late. Your energy’s all drained out, you don’t feel socializing anymore, and you just want to slump against your bed and doze off. You have to tell your classmates that you’re leaving, but your butt is glued to the pavement, too tired to move that you could only lower your head and groan louder.

“Get up,” you looked up and there he was. A serious expression written on his face, like he was disappointed in you. 

“Hi Heeseung,” you laughed, finding the situation too funny. After the exchange earlier, this is probably the first time you and Heeseung had talked throughout the night. You wanted to ask him questions but your mind was spinning and everything was just too blurry for you. 

“Come on now, let’s get you home,” he offered, approaching you as he only brushes his hand on your shoulder.

You only hummed at his words, “home? Sure, I also want to go home now — wait, I have to go back and pay my share.”

“I already got it, and I told them we’re going home. Come on now, can you walk?” 

“Of course! Wait —” you stood up from the pavement but you almost fell, Heeseung immediately grabbed you by your waist. Guiding you as you could only lean on his touch, eyes almost close. 

Heeseung carefully guided you towards his car, opening the door of his passenger seat while you almost stumbled inside. 

“My head hurts,” you groan as soon as Heeseung gets inside. 

“Just sleep for a while,” Heeseung advised. “I’ll wake you up when we get home.”

You only nod as you close your eyes, Heeseung starts the engine and drives away from the bar. 

But fifteen minutes into the drive, you regained your consciousness, head still spinning but you try your best to think where you are right now and then realise that you’re not inside the bar anymore — nor at the pavement you were sitting on. 

Then it hit you, looking at the interior of the car as the smell of a familiar perfume made you glance at the driver. And there he was, driving you home. 

“You’re allowed to drive?” That was the first thing you said. 

“I’m not even tipsy y/n,” Heeseung said. “I can’t say the same thing to you.”

“I’m never going to do that again,” you mumbled to yourself as you could only lean on the car’s window. Watching how Heeseung drove smoothly towards the empty streets of the city. 

“Considering all the things you’ve said and done tonight, I am not surprised,” Heeseung taunted, that’s when you looked at him, a teasing smile formed on his lips. 

“You also said some weird stuff tonight,” you rebutted, words slurring out of your mouth. 

Heeseung turned to a familiar street, his smile never leaving as he parked in front of your house’s gate. “Would you put a meaning to it?”

“Why would I put a meaning to it? It’s just a dare.” you answered, dodging his question. “Like mine, it’s a hypothetical question.”

“What if I want you to put a meaning to it?” he boldly said. “What if I told you, that night when we went to the museum, I really wanted to kiss you?”

It took your drunken mind a minute to process everything. “What?”

“I really want to kiss you right now.”

Heeseung was serious. He was looking at you with much intensity. The atmosphere became quiet, but suffocating due to the tension between the two of you. You could only blink as your eyes darted on his lips. Thick and soft, pinkish and tempting that it made you bite your lips.

“Fine, just a kiss,” you said, removing your seat belt as you faced him. There’s no harm with a short kiss right?

You watched as Heeseung unbuckled his seat belt too. Leaning towards you as he cups your cheeks and without any hesitation, crashes his lips onto yours — too fast that you weren’t prepared for it.

That’s why it didn’t take a few seconds for you to separate from him, worrying Heeseung as he looked at you, confused.

“I’m sorry —” you laughed. “This just doesn't feel real to me.”

Kissing your long-time crush? That crush of yours who you always convince yourself that you don’t stand a chance? Wanted to kiss you? And had kissed you just now? Sounds like a dream for you, something that the alcohol inside you had convinced was real. 

“Then let’s do it again,” Heeseung said before pulling once again for a kiss. This time, softly like he was being careful with you. Unknowingly, you kissed him back, along with soft whimpers escaping from your lips. Try your best to balance yourself as Heeseung’s kisses become sloppy, almost breathy.

As you pull out from his lips. The two of you only stared at each other, the tension was rising and the inside of the car started to heat. Something in his eyes screams that he wants more — hungry for you and that’s when you felt your heart beating fast. 

“Come here,” Heeseung adjusted his seat further to the back to make space for you. He pulls your body and the next thing you know, you’re on his lap while his hands are on your waist as he pulls you to a feverish kiss. 

You must be dreaming, you muttered to yourself as Heeseung’s soft, plump lips are all your lips could feel. The taste of alcohol mixing along, bitter yet sweet for you while both hands became busy with feeling each other. Your hands trailed mindlessly to his shoulders down to his chest, wanting to feel that this is real for you.

While Heeseung’s hands made a bold move by brushing it on your clothed chest. Breaking the kiss, Heeseung leans towards your left ears, murmuring sweet words while his hands work on its way to cup your soft tits, wanting more to feel the skin beneath your clothes.

“I want you,” he whispered huskily. Planting kisses on your jawline down to your neck. “Want to feel you good — fuck, your lips are so soft.”

It didn’t help that his words go straight to your core. His flirty words that made you fall more deeply into him. Soft whimpers escaping your lips as he pushed you closer towards him, making you grind on his dick underneath, clearly printing on his pants. Guiding you as you rocked your hips towards it, earning moans from Heeseung. His lips leave your neck trailing towards your opened collarbone, softly and dangerously near your cleavage.

His hands slipped underneath your shirt, and in a snap, your bra is undone and he’s playing with your breast, flickering your nipples as he grinds his hips upwards to create more friction with you.

“Fuck — feels too good,” you moaned loudly as you continued to grind against him. Panties soaking wet due to the action.

“We can stop here. I don’t want to push you further if you don’t want it.” Heeseung stated before planting a kiss on your ears, and you know very well what he meant. 

But despite his sweet gesture, Heeseung wasn’t subtle, his gleaming round eyes had a stare lust-struck on you. Pleading but wanting, and you know that you can just stop right there — afraid of the consequences. 

Having sex with Heeseung doesn’t sound that bad. He’s your crush, and everything about this is mutually agreed. This is like a dream come true to you. But having sex with your younger brother’s friend? That’s a different story. It’s forbidden, and you’re breaking the only rule you and your brother established.

Jungwon had warned you many times about Heeseung. He’s a mixed signal giver. This might be nothing for him, but for you, sex was supposed to be intimate, a gesture only lovers should do. 

But as you look at his soft, round bambi-like eyes, you just can’t help but to be lured into it. You know the moment you two kissed, you two have crossed the line — and the swirl of alcohol in your mind is eager for more.

Biting your lips, you could only brush his messy hair as you whispered to him, “Let’s go inside,” fuck it, you don’t know if it was the alcohol that’s talking, but it gave you the courage to say those words. You’re convinced that this is a one time thing, and you’ll have no regrets whatever happens tonight. 

Heeseung turns off the engine before the two of you enter your house. Empty and quiet given that it was almost 4 am. Heeseung was wary at first, knowing that Jungwon’s asleep in his room. While you're a drunken mess, laughing and almost stumbling as you remove your shoes, tugging Heeseung with you. 

“What about Jungwon —”

“He’s having a sleepover with Sunoo at Riki’s dorm.” you casually replied. “We have the house all by ourselves.”

Those words are all it takes for Heeseung to push you against the wall. Trapping you with his knees in between your thighs, almost brushing on your core that a moaning gasp escapes your lips. 

“No wonder you’re so bold,” Heeseung smirked. “We can be as loud as we want to.” 

“Make me,” you challenged, grinning as you boldly palmed his cock, even squeezing it teasingly making him groan.

“Remember what I told you earlier?” he leaned towards you, stopping an inch in front of you, nose almost touching yours as he smirked, gaze menacing. “I’ll give you a good fuck.” 

A soft chuckle escapes your lips before Heeseung leans in for a kiss which you gladly reciprocated. Pulling him closer as he grabs you by your waist, almost lifting you with your clothed cunt resting on his right thigh. Grinding against it as the kiss turned harsher, both hands eager to touch each other as it trailed on each other’s body. 

It didn’t take seconds before both bodies started to feel hot and sweaty. Heeseung shrugged off his shirt while quickly doing the same with yours — along with your bra. Both half-naked, you didn’t care that your living room might be witnessing something scandalous. Sex were supposed to be intimate for you, but now, you’re just eager to be fucked by your long-time crush. 

Heeseung lowered his head between the cave of your breast, kisses trailing around it as he sucked and flickered your left nipples with his tongue. His large hand cups the right side, fondling it and making you more sensitive than ever. 

“So pretty for me,” Heeseung grins as he continues to play with your tits, earning soft moans from you. 

Heeseung removes his touch from you for a minute and kneels on the floor. Hands holding your thighs as he pushes it for you to open it. 

You look down on him, surprised but dazed to see him kneeling in front of you. Your heart starts to beat fast when his face is just a few inches close to your clothed pussy, breathing heavily as he touches the end of your skirt.

“Wearing this flimsy thing, you never fail to surprise me huh?” he teased, lifting it up to see your laced red panties. “Fuck, keep the skirt on, pretty.” 

Heeseung kisses the insides of your thighs, slowly and soft like he was worshipping it. Every touch feels like heaven for you, his hands making their way to hold your thighs firmly as Heeseung lightly as he presses his lips on your cunt. The wet patch evident where he swiped his tongue languidly on it, knocking you out of your breath. 

You can feel your body becoming more sensitive than ever. Heeseung didn’t hesitate to pull down your panty, displaying your pussy out which only made him groan. 

“Gorgeous for me baby,” he looks up to you. Eyes darkening as he grabs your right leg, swinging it on his shoulder so that you could put a weight on him. He doesn't care that his knees are aching red on the marbled tiles, Heeseung watches as you fall for him the moment he kisses your pussy’s lips.

Gently, he wanted to taste every inch of you, his mind hazing as your musk drunkens his mind. That’s when Heeseung started to swipe his tongue on your core, making you let out a loud moan that almost echoed inside.

“We got the whole house for ourselves right? Make those lovely noises for me,” Heeseung taunted before he continued eating you out. 

It felt better than when you touched yourself. You can feel your body heating up twice, sensitive and eager for the rush of climax. You were shameless in making sounds, moans and whimpers escaping your lips, wanting Heeseung to know that you’re feeling good because of him.

Heeseung lightly grazed on your clit, making you twitch which made him gripped on your leg harsher. The heel of your feet digging his back. 

“Stay still for me baby,” he ordered, tugging your body closer to him as he started devouring you again. Tongue lapping on your lips and clit simultaneously until he decided to use his free hand to insert a finger inside you.

“Fuck —” 

“You’re feeling good baby? Moan for me, let me know how good I make you,” he inserts another finger. Circling inside your gummy walls as he continues to play your clit with his tongue, faster and harsher that your body starts to shake. 

You couldn’t help but to grab his hair for balance, unconsciously grinding your hips for more. You can feel your orgasm coming, and you were eager to chase after it. Your breathing started to become unstable, trying to hold on to the feeling of being pleasured not until Heeseung’s slender fingers curled into a specific spot that made you moan loudly. 

“That’s your spot baby? Come on don’t hold it back, cum for me,” Heeseung orders, his fingers bruising that spot that it didn’t take you seconds for you to whimper, body shaking as your orgasm came rushing to you. Heeseung savored every drop of your release. Latching on your pussy as he drinks it sloppily, juices trailing down on his chin as he continues to eat you despite reaching your orgasm.

You could only cry as you tried to remove Heeseung out of your cunt but he presses himself further, clit brushing on his nose making you whine louder as he holds your shaking hips tightly that it’ll leave a bruise. 

“Heeseung — shit, fuck —wait!” your incoherent babbling didn’t stop Heeseung. 

“I bet your ex couldn’t even make you cum,” he taunted, looking up at you. Seeing you all messy, sweating, and panting, made him want to devour you more. He wanted to hear more how you weaken in front of him.

Thumb grazing on your clit, you started to cry loudly again. Eyes shut harshly as Heeseung inserts his fingers inside you once again. Your walls trapping his fingers that Heeseung could only wonder how your tight walls would feel around his cock. The thought made him hard and aching.

“Want to make you cum more, make a mess for me baby,” Heeseung stated, lapping on your pussy once again. You could only cry in pleasure, feeling something coiling inside you which isn’t your orgasm. 

Heeseung continued abusing your pussy, tongue sucking your clit while his fingers scissored your inside, finding the spot that had made you cum. Fingers curling and pumping in a harsh manner until something gushed out of your pussy. A messy and clear liquid which Heeseung didn’t hesitate to taste. 

“Fuck,” he laughs devilishly. “Did you just fucking squirt? Shit, that was so hot. Come on, I know you can do more.”

“I don’t know —”

“Come on, do it for me again,” Heeseung encouraged, fingers continued pumping inside your pussy, until your legs started shaking once again. Another wave of orgasm hits you, squirting shamelessly in Heeseung’s fingers. 

Too fucked-out to understand anything, you didn’t notice how Heeseung carried you towards the couch, placing you down on the extended part of the long couch. 

“Told you pretty I’ll fuck real good and that’s just the start.” Heeseung stated. Hastily, he unbuckles his belt along with his pants’ zipper, pulling his pants down enough for him to release his huge dick. Red and aching to be inside your pussy. You whimper in pleasure as you stare at Heeseung who spits on his hand, stroking his dick slowly as he eyed on you lustfully. 

Heeseung pulls you closer before he flips you on the couch. Pressing you down with your stomach flat against the couch. A heat of embarrassment churned in you as you felt like a doll being manhandled by Heeseung. 

It didn’t help that Heeseung pulled your skirt upward, revealing the curve of your ass in front of him. He can feel his dick twitching just by the sight. 

“Look at you, all pretty for me,” Heeseung hums. Slapping your ass cheeks making you flinch. The pain felt good that it went right through your core. 

“Gonna fuck you so good, you’ll be shaking til morning,” he mumbled to you. He pushes your back further to flatly lay you down on your stomach, face pressed down on the couch as Heeseung lifted your hips enough for him to see your entrance.

He brushes his tip lightly on your pussy’s lips, sensitive from your previous orgasms, you couldn’t help but to crawl away from Heeseung — not until he pulls you back. 

“Still sensitive —” you stopped midway when you could feel his tip protruding your entrance. A muted cry escapes your lips as slowly Heeseung pushes it inside. 

“Don’t worry baby, I'll take care of you,” he assured, brushing the stray hairs that covered your face before planting a kiss on your temple. 

Heeseung carefully thrust inside until he’s fully sheathed inside you. You could only groan as you feel yourself full.  “God — so fucking tight, bet you’re a virgin again because you’re so tight for me.”

Slowly, he began to move, earning moans from you as your sensitive pussy started to shape Heeseung’s huge shaft. Ramming into the places that your fingers couldn’t reach. You could only leave hefty cries as your knuckles turned round from the pleasures. 

“Look how your pussy is sucking me in,” Heeseung taunted, slapping your asscheeks once again before gripping the left cheek, turning red against his hands. He could only smirk as he felt nothing but heaven thrusting inside your warm walls. — never in his life would’ve thought that he’ll be fucking his friend’s sister, the one that his friend always told him to stay away.

He’s sorry for breaking the rules, but you were just so fucking sweet and the way your pussy is clench everytime his tip abuses your cervix, he has no remorse to it anymore. All Heeseung knows is that you’re so fucking good for him. 

He pulls you upwards, your back pressed against his warm chest. Both sweats started mixing togethers as his arms wrapped around your stomach. That’s when Heeseung continued to thrust faster, eager to leave you breaking into loud cries.

“Feel how you’re taking me baby, you feel so tight that I’m bulging in you,” he whispers to you. His hands press your palms below your stomach, feeling his dick rail you made you moan more louder. Everything just feels so good and you’re just too dazed that the only thing you can feel was how Heeseung’s dick continued to slide through your g-spot. 

“Hee —” his right hand started playing with your breasts once again, flicking and pinching your hard nipples as he busied his mouth on your shoulder, leaving kisses and faint marks that had you praying that it wouldn't leave a mark. 

“More — please,” you cried as you felt your stomach coiling, your breath becoming louder and heavier as Heeseung became rougher than usual. 

“Fuck, you’re coming again baby?” he asked, removing his hands from your tits, he slid it onto your clit, rubbing circles that made you moan. “Go on, cum for me baby.”

Heeseung grabs you by your cheeks, locking you to a torrid kiss. Heavily making out as he thrusts your pussy harder. You’re too fucked-out to kiss him back, moaning on his lips as his fingers rubbed your clit harder. 

That’s when your another orgasm came, you felt your body turning into a jelly as you melted onto Heeseung, your body shaking as tears fell from your eyes. Heeseung slowly laid you back but he didn’t stop ramming his dick inside you, his thrust became faster as you could hear his breathing becoming harsh along with soft groans escaping his lips.

Heeseung chases after his orgasm, thrusting inside you a few times before pulling out, you could only whine loudly as Heeseung moans while he pumps his dick through orgasm. Cum spilling all over his hand and painting your ass and back. 

It didn’t take a few seconds when you felt Heeseung’s hands on your back, brushing your hair away as he kissed your nape softly. 

“You did good,” he whispered to you, planting another kiss on your right temple. “Just stay there okay? Let me clean up the mess.” 

You’re too tired and sticky to move. You could only hear Heeseung shuffling to put on his pants as his light footsteps made its way towards the main bathroom — you only lay there naked with nothing but your skirt as everything felt overwhelming to you. Slowly, you closed your eyes, wishing that you’ll be awake by the time Heeseung returns. 

Heeseung returns with a wet towel he found inside the bathroom. Noticing that you’ve passed out, he lets it be, knowing that you’re probably too drunk and tired. Carefully he tugs off the spoiled skirt to clean your body, wiping your cunt which made you whine softly by its touch, along with the cum on your back which he made mental notes for him to apologize to you the next time you two meet. 

He picked up the discarded clothes on the floor. Cleaning every spot you two have touched, and hopefully it won’t smell like sex and sweat by the morning. 

That’s when Heeseung decided to carry you towards your room — the first time he ever did that to a girl he had slept with. He just couldn’t bear to leave you there on the couch especially when Jungwon might walk in later in the morning. 

Heeseung places you down on your bed. Looking at your naked figure, he felt a bit ashamed to just leave you like that. Luckily, he found a decent shirt and shorts on your clothing rack. Clothing you before tugging you neatly underneath your blanket. 

He stared at you for a good minute. Seeing that you’re peaceful in your slumber, he lightly brushes off your bangs before kissing your forehead. 

“Sweet dreams y/n,” he whispered.

“Heeseung…” you mumbled before Heeseung could even open the door. 

Heeseung remained quiet, observing if you’re going to say anything. A few minutes had passed and that’s when he twisted the doorknob — seconds just for you to mumble some words again. 

“I…like you Hee…” you said. Although it was soft and almost mumble, yet, Heeseung was quick to comprehend what you meant. 

He was frozen from where he was standing, his hands remained on the doorknob. Staring at your sleeping figure, wondering if those words meant something. 

-

Your words had Heeseung thinking throughout the weekend. 

He remembers the saying, drunk words are sober thoughts. Even if you were intoxicated, he’s not just going to let your words slip away. He wonders if you truly meant those words, or just a whirlwind slip of a post-sex haze. 

But the way you said it, mumbling, like you were being careful to say it. Thoughts started clouding in his mind throughout the weekend, he barely had sleep and he wanted to blame you for putting him in that situation. 

When Monday arrived, you went to school like a normal student. A bright expression on your face as Heeseung watches you pass by him. Not even a hi or hello. His lips turned thin as he tried to act like you ignoring him didn’t hurt him a little. 

Classes went on pretty normal, but Heeseung’s mind is still afloat. Eyes darting towards you every minute, stealing glances on you. But you only had your head low, writing on your Ipad and looking only upward towards the direction of the screen in front, making Heeseung realize that he’s like a fool looking for your attention. 

Heeseung isn’t usually like this, so he wonders why he's acting like this. Heart racing, mind afloat, and it’s only your words that kept him occupied. 

But it’s right there. The answer is just right there but Heeseung doesn’t want to acknowledge it, somehow a part of him isn’t ready for it. But as he looks at you, a lingering what-if crosses his mind. A thought of committing on to something that he’s been avoiding throughout his college life.

His intuition wanted him to do it, but he’s still holding back, and Heeseung knows that the only solution to it, was you. 

That’s why the moment the professor dismissed the class, he hastily placed his things inside his bag before going towards you. 

“Y/n,” he called out, almost loudly, that some of his classmates looked at him. 

“Hey,” you smiled casually, and Heeseung swore that it almost knocked the breath out of him. Have you always had this effect on him? Why did he just realise it right now? 

“Can we talk?” he asked, and saw your eyes surprised by his words. 

“Sure,” you only nod before the two of you leave the room, going to a small corner by the hallway. 

“About what you said that night,” Heeseung asked. “Is it true?”

You raised an eyebrow, “Did I say something? I barely remember anything even the…you know.”

Heeseung felt like his world crashed. Of course. You’re too drunk to remember everything. Even what you two did, you barely remember, and that made him scoff in disbelief. 

“Did I say something weird or?” you asked nervously. 

“You said you like me y/n,” Heeseung said in a serious tone. “Now tell me if it’s true.”

Heeseung watches your eyes widen in realization. A breathy curse slipped out of your mouth. That’s when he knew — that’s when his heart also knew.

“Listen y/n, it’s okay, I also —”

“Heeseung, you’re Jungwon’s friend,” you interrupted. “I can’t date you, I really — look, I like you, yes that’s true. But I care more about your friendship with Jungwon, and whatever happened that night. That’s just it, but please don’t tell Jungwon. He’ll get angry at you too. I hope you understand that.” 

Heeseung blinks. Looking at your pleading expression, that’s when it hit him that it’s not that Jungwon is caging you, but it’s the fact that your love for your younger brother is stronger than your romantic feelings for him. 

You two know that what you did was wrong. Both lines were crossed, and rules were broken. Jungwon trusted him not to go after you, and so do you. It’ll not only ruin friendship but Arcanum. Heeseung knows that you know how much Arcanum means to Jungwon, and it might even result in him leaving the band. 

And seeing how you’re willing to set everything aside for Jungwon, Heeseung couldn’t do anything but to admire you — even if it means he will not continue his confession to you. 

“Plus, you enjoy being single right?” you said lightheartedly, trying to ease the atmosphere. That’s when it slipped into Heeseung. 

An awkward laugh escapes his lips. Ironic because he was planning to throw it away for you, but talking about wrong timing because you got him first. “Right — you’re right. No worries y/n, I won’t tell Jungwon.”

You gave him a smile, patting his shoulders as you mumbled your thanks before leaving him there alone. Watching you walk away, Heeseung could only lower his head as he walked towards the opposite direction — not knowing that you turned your head towards him once again. 

That should be it. In the end, the two of you are some ways forbidden because of Jungwon. You’re right. Heeseung knows that he prefers being single. Right? Maybe what he’s feeling right now is just a temporary attachment to you because you two had sex, plus your confession caughting him off-guard. It’ll pass. Hopefully, for him, it’ll pass. 

But it didn’t help that a few days after you two had a talk, Heeseung caught you together with Jake. 

He knows that you two are orgmates. Coincidentally, you’re Jake’s executive assistant. Heeseung shouldn’t give meaning to it, especially when Jake’s not exempted from Jungwon's rule. 

It shouldn’t bother him. Who is he even anyway? An obvious frown forming on his lips when he saw your instagram story with Jake, you two went to eat k-bbq alone. One would think that you two are actually dating. It’s the way that you’re leaning towards Jake who’s smiling widely, holding the barbecue tong. It's cute, but all Heeseung could feel was annoyance.

Heeseung remembered your conversation with him. Out of all Jungwon’s friends, Jake’s your choice to date. And seeing you two together, Heeseung doesn’t know why but there’s a strange feeling growing inside him. Something ugly because why would he feel that to you? Someone who he’s not allowed to date, and to Jake, who is a close friend of his.

He shouldn’t feel that bubbling jealousy brewing inside but it didn’t help that there are days where Heeseung sees Jake waiting outside the department building. Jake would even smile and wave at him who only gives him a small smile back. Then, he watches you pass by him, going straight towards Jake who only ruffled your hair while you punched his shoulders lightly. 

Sweet. Way too sweet. Heeseung almost wanted to report you two to the disciplinary officer for pda. But as he watches the two of you walk away while laughing, leaving him alone there standing like a fool, that bubbling feeling continues to grow no matter how hard he concealed it. 

It didn’t help either that when they went to your place to practice, he immediately noticed a familiar pair of shoes by the doorway.

“Isn’t that Jake hyung’s shoes?” Riki pointed out. 

“Oh right, he told me he’ll be here early, he’s with noona,” Jungwon explained nonchalantly as he removed his shoes. 

“How come you’re not wary of Jake being too close with y/n?” Sunghoon asked, but there’s a taunting tone in his words. 

“They’re orgmates, y/n noona directly reports to Jake hyung. I trust Jake hyung to not break the rule.” and Heeseung is pretty sure that Jungwon gave him a side eye when he said that.

“So you don’t trust us?” Jay teases.

“I didn’t say that,” the younger one went inside first, while Jay and Sunghoon only laughed at the conversation.

As the rest of them entered the living room, they saw you and Jake by the couch. Heeseung raises an eyebrow, seeing you two together, by the couch — where you and Heeseung fucked, had his jaw tightening. Finding it funny how you pretend that everything’s normal. 

Files sprawled all over the coffee table along with some half-full iced coffees and a box of donuts. Jake is seated on the floor, glasses on top of his head with his expression as serious as always. While you’re seated on the couch, still wearing your uniform with your laptop on your lap, typing some documents needed. 

“Hi guys!” you greeted them first, with Jake following after.

“Y/n noona! I miss you!” Sunoo shouted with glee, sitting beside you and hugging you sideways. As always, you reciprocate the younger’s action. 

Heeseung lightly scoffs at how Sunoo can be so close to you, even hugging you while Jungwon doesn’t bat an eye on it. 

“I miss you too Noo, how’s part-timing at The Rabbit Hole?” you asked, shifting your seat to face the sophomore.

“Tiring, the new part-timer was so lazy! I have to multitask with everything,” Sunoo sulks, even pouting as he leans on your shoulder, glancing at your laptop’s screen. “What are you doing?”

“Some inquiries and grievances from students and incoming freshmen. Others wanted to transfer programs and also, student assistant job opening,” you answered before scrolling through your file. 

“Soobin hyung wanted us to finish it before the end of the school so that we don’t have to worry about the turnover for the next term,” Jake added, letting out a deep sigh as he grabbed the mountful of papers in front of him. 

“Well, we’re not disturbing you guys right? We’re going to start our practice,” Sunghoon asked, setting up in the huge empty space in front of them. 

“We can move to the dining room, so that it wouldn’t be too loud — are you okay with it?” Jake suggested, glancing at you who only nodded. 

“That would be better, we can continue there,” you answered, knowing that you’re still wary around Heeseung. 

As Arcanum set up, you and Jake moved your things on the dining table. From there, you can still hear Arcanum practicing, but with the divider and displays, it’s enough to cover you and Jake for privacy and muffle the sound a little. 

You and Jake sat together to continue your reports. Heeseung could only glance at the two of you. Seeing how close you two are, both heads are almost touching. If Jungwon had seen it, he would probably be throwing knives now. But Jungwon was too busy practicing the beat on his drums, and instead of knives, Heeseung’s darkening glare is what’s putting a hole on you and Jake.

He hated how close you and Jake are. He hated how he could hear your soft laughter just by looking at you — and you weren’t looking at him, you’re looking at Jake who’s probably cracking some jokes. He couldn’t believe that for the past few weeks, the two of you were together, but now, you’re with somebody else. 

And it’s not just somebody else. It’s Jake. A friend of his, the person you’ll hypothetically date if Jungwon’s rules doesn’t exist. The guy that has more chances of dating you than him —

“Heeseung!” A light kick on the shin snapped Heeseung out of reality, turning to his left where Jay looked at him confused. 

“We’re good to go, should we start now?” Jay asked, and that’s when Heeseung realized that he’s been staring for too long. 

“Oh — yeah, we’ll start in three,” Heeseung replied, signaling them with a countdown.

Riki and Sunoo cheered for Arcanum, sitting on the couch comfortably while Heeseung tried to focus, closing his eyes as he started to strum his guitar. 

“Your type of mind, so hard to find,” he sang, cold yet desperate like he was yearning for someone. A soft yet heartbreaking song to start their practice. He can hear Sunoo’s gasp while Riki lets out a whistle. 

Heeseung sings the song with feelings, something about the way he sings a song captivates their audience. But Riki and Sunoo were quick to notice how Heeseung’s eyes kept on looking to his left — by the dining room where you and Jake were seated.

Both sophomores looked at each other, a deciphering stare before glancing back at Heeseung whose eyes are still glued to you. It all circled back to them, realizing that there’s something their friend is hiding. 

With the way he sings, it doesn't sound like he’s just covering the song, it felt like every word, every lyric came straight from his heart. And looking at you, they know that he’s dedicating it to you.

As they finished the song, they were quick to start for another song. A low strum on Jay’s electric guitar — different from the first song. 

“I wanna be your vacuum cleaner. Breathing in your dust,” Heeseung sang in a low tone.

“Woah, Heeseung hyung’s good,” Sunoo mumbled. 

“It’s like he’s captivating someone under his spell,” Riki added, glancing at Sunoo who only nodded, knowing what he meant as the two watched as Heeseung sang. His head turned to his left once again.

“Secrets I have held in my heart, are harder to hide than I thought. Maybe I just wanna be yours,” Staring darkly, as he holds onto the mic stand, head turned towards your direction as he continues the song. Dark and tempting like the original. 

As the song finished, the band had a short break. Jay looks at Heeseung, a teasing smirk evident on his lips. 

“Seems like your audience is somewhere else,” Jay teasingly said. 

“Shut up Jay,” Heeseung brushes it off, but it was evident that he immediately shifted towards your direction once again. Like he was hoping that you’ll turn around. 

But not even a spare glance was given to them throughout the whole practice. By the time Arcanum finished their practice, so did you and Jake with your reports. Food arrived a few minutes later and the eight of you spent dinner in the living room. 

“Can you hear their practice in the dining room?” Riki asked. 

“Yeah, but it’s a bit muffled so it wasn’t distracting us, don’t worry,” Jake answered casually, not noticing how Riki and Sunoo snickered at each other. 

“You guys seem to be too busy with your reports, that you guys weren’t distracted by Heeseung hyung’s singing,” Sunoo added, tone hinted in a teasing manner. 

“Well, Jake insisted on finishing it tonight, and I heard you guys are drinking after dinner,” you laughed, not being able to catch the sophomore’s tone.

“And we did, because y/n is such a great assistant,” Jake compliments, making the other guys holler in teasing. 

“Jungwon, did you hear that?” Sunghoon nudged Jungwon who got confused immediately. 

“Hey Jake, don’t forget Jungwon’s rule,” Jay added, earning laughter in the living room — that including you and Jake. 

“I only said she’s a great assistant! Is it bad to compliment her?” Jake defensively replied.

Meanwhile Heeseung could only roll his eyes discreetly as he continued stuffing himself with rice. From there, Jungwon chuckles — a different reaction from his usual get-go wherein he’ll be pissed the moment they got linked to you. 

“Shut up hyungs,” Jungwon could only say. “By the way, you’re not going to join us noona?”

“I think I’m going to avoid drinking from now on,” you answered, knowing that the last time you drank, disaster happened. 

You could hear Heeseung clearing his throat, but you chose to ignore it and took the last bite on your food. Standing up from your seat before thanking them for the dinner, and reminding Jungwon to clean up the mess after. 

It was nine in the evening when you decided to call it a night, the remaining of them stayed in the living room with some alcohol to drink the night away. You’ve already known that they’re going to stay overnight — and probably will wake up by lunch. 

Saying goodbye to them, even drinking one shot because they insist, you went to your room and had your alone time. 

After taking a shower and changing into your sleeping clothes, you grabbed your laptop to do some last minute write-ups. Reviewing every page you’ve written, and then closing the tab to watch some youtube videos. 

You don’t know what’s going on downstairs. You sometimes hear their loud laughter and teasing, it was muffled enough for you not to be disturbed, and as the night deepens, the noise downstairs slowly becomes quiet. 

That’s when you decided to go to sleep. Closing your laptop, and locking your door. You turned on your nightshade and closed your bedroom’s light. As you nestled underneath your blanket, you closed your eyes, immersing yourself with the silence.

But it didn’t help you relax at all, you can feel your heart beating fast and as you open your eyes, that’s when it hits you that you’re not sleepy yet. 

Thoughts running inside your mind that whenever you close your eyes, and shuffle through different positions, you just can’t bear to sleep. You placed your hand on your chest, feeling your heart still palpitating and you’re blaming it on the coffee you bought. 

Frustratedly, you sat up to grab your phone, noticing that it’s already past one am. 

You don’t know what to do, so you scrolled through your social media in hopes that sleep might knock you down. But minutes turned into an hour and you became frustrated furthermore. 

Your frustration was interrupted when a knock on the door startled you. You let out a sigh because you already told Jungwon that he doesn't have to knock on your room if he’s going to inform you that his friends’ are going home. 

But instead of your younger brother, your eyes widened when it was Heeseung who’s in front of your room.

“What are you doing here?” you asked, whispering. “You can’t be here!”

“Don’t worry, they’re either passed-out drunk or deeply asleep,” Heeseung laughs, the smell of alcohol reeking on his breath as he leaned on your door frame. 

“What do you even want, Heeseung?” you asked, crossing your arms at him.

But Heeseung looks at you drowsily, “you’re one of a kind, you know that?”

You didn’t say a word. Slowly, he enters your room, making you step backward. Quietly, you watch him close the door even locking it — and you let him be. You didn’t stop him nor pushed him away. You remained from where you were standing, because deep inside, you wanted to know why Heeseung suddenly barged into your room in the middle of the night. 

“I’m still thinking about that night, about us, everything about us y/n — you’re driving me crazy you know that?” you can hear the frustration dripping on his tone. 

“Heeseung, you’re drunk.” you answered instead. 

Heeseung only laughs at your words. “Oh no sweetheart, I didn’t even drink that much. So I know damn well what I’m saying, and since you’re sober and completely awake, I’m confident that you won’t run away from me anymore.” 

You didn’t say a word. Heeseung gives you a smile. The boyish sweet smile that tugs your heart.

“After you told me that you like me, even though you were drunk, it made me realize something,” Heeseung became quiet for a second. “I really thought about it. Even convincing myself that being single is fun, but fuck it, maybe I prefer being with you.”

It wasn’t a direct confession, but you know what he was trying to say. You stopped your tracks, softly glancing at him who slackens his jaw. 

“I was ready to tell you that but you shut me off first, because you know how important Arcanum was, and you don’t want to ruin my friendship with Jungwon.” Heeseung explained, and that’s when it hits you. That talk you two had, he was supposed to say something but you cut him off. 

“And I respected that y/n — that even made me admire you more. You were willing to set aside your feelings for Jungwon. I even convinced myself that maybe the single life is for me,” Heeseung heaves out a sigh. Brushing his hair before glancing at you, his eyes darkening. 

“Really, I tried my best to respect your decision, but seeing you with Jake? What was that? Are you playing with me?” 

“Heeseung —”

But Heeseung lets out a mocking laughter, finding himself stupid for accusing you of that. “Of course you’re not, I’m just overthinking and who am I even to overthink? I’m just your brother’s friend.”

Silence. For a moment, no one said a word. Heeseung approaches you darkly, making you step backward until you hit the edge of your bed, clumsily making you sit at it. Heeseung boldly hovers over you, both arms trapping you as he leans closer to you, face an inch close to you. 

“But maybe I don’t want to be seen as your brother’s friend anymore. I want to be yours instead, I want to be your boyfriend.” he whispered to you, surprising you with the statement that your eyes could only widen. 

“And I don’t care about Jungwon anymore, he’ll have to fucking live with that fact.” He stated. Heeseung doesn’t care about the consequences anymore. All he wants is you, and if it means ruining friendship, he’ll be willing to fight for your relationship with him.

“Heeseung —”

“Don’t think about Jungwon anymore y/n, I like you — hell, I think I’m in love with you. I want to be yours. Just tell me that you want this too.” Heeseung pleaded, and you just couldn’t believe it. Heeseung begging for your love? You know that this is too good to be true — too good that it’s forbidden at the same time. But as you look at Heeseung’s soft, round bambi eyes, you just couldn’t help but to melt for him.

“I just never thought that you’ll be within my reach.” you confessed, hands cupping his cheeks. “Heeseung, I’ve liked you since we were freshman, but you’re just so unreachable for me.”

“Unreachable? y/n, you’re the unreachable one, you’re basically locked in your younger brother’s rule.”

“Not what I meant but, everything just feels so surreal for me, everything about us — is this even real?” your mind is still clouded, but your heart was racing rapidly. It’s celebrating inside. There were fireworks, butterflies, any fluttering feeling that you can feel to convince you that Heeseung, the guy that you’ve been yearning for years, likes you back. 

“I’ll make it real for you then,” Heeseung leans closer, locking you to a kiss. Immediate and hungry, feeling his soft lips against yours made your knees weak, the fluttering feeling becoming too good that your heart is going to burst at that moment. Tasting the alcohol on his tongue as it swipes it lightly on your lower lips. Moaning against your lips as he bites onto your bottom lip harshly that his teeth scratches a wound to it. 

You broke from the kiss, catching your breath as you tasted the blood on your lips, but Heeseung grabs your face, pulling you for another kiss. Feverish as he sucks the blood oozing from your lips, making you whine as his tongue laps on the wound. 

“You were pretty drunk that night we did it, how about I recreate it for you? Show you that I mean everything?” he swore the moment you two broke the kiss once again. 

Gently, he pushes you down to your bed, crawling over you and crashing his lips on yours again. But it’s softer this time, gentle like he’s trying to memorize your lips. 

He started peppering you with kisses, full of love as he began lowering his lips on your neck. His lips raveling every skin as he planted marks near your collarbone. One, two, three — until every skin around your neck and chest is full of marks. Heeseung stands up to see his art. Lust-struck stare as he looks at you, teary-eyed and swollen, wounded lips. His heart swells with pride because you’re his to keep. 

“God, look at you gorgeous,” he whispered, as he started to unbutton his school uniform. You followed his actions as you sat up from your bed, taking off the thin, old shirt revealing your naked chest underneath. 

“Want you,” you told him, round, innocent-like eyes staring at him as you boldly palmed the print of his cock underneath the slacks. 

“Go on,” he gestured, giving you a kiss on top of your head as you unzipped his slacks, pulling it down along with his boxers. 

Heeseung’s cock sprang free. Your eyes wide at how it’s huge despite being soft. Remembering how it pounded into your holes. Feeling your core pulsing at the sight, wanting for it to be inside you but your mind wants to return the favor. You wanted to pleasure Heeseung like what he did to you. 

You started by giving its head soft kitten kisses. Glancing at Heeseung who only nods, hands finding its way towards your hair, holding it like a makeshift ponytail which was your approval. Your tongue started to find its way. Swirling on the tip, salivating every inch it can reach until you gathered enough saliva to drool on his almost hardening cock.

You hold his cock in a soft grip, stroking it as your hand lubricates it with your drool. Looking up at Heeseung with lust-drunken eyes before slowly sinking your mouth on his cock, and Heeseung could only throw his head out of pleasure. A breathy moan escaped his lips as you started bobbing in and out of his cock. 

Adjusting to its size, you started slow and gentle, just enough to make him hard. Heeseung’s grip on your hair started to tug, unconsciously pushing your head which made you fasten your pace. Cheeks hollow as your lips sucked him. Tongue trailing along with it, licking its underside. 

“Fuck just like that, a pretty girl is sucking me hard,” Heeseung moans as his dick twitch inside your warm mouth. Knowing that it’s been so long since a girl has given him a head, Heeseung would’ve never thought that it’ll end him being sensitive. 

You continued bobbing your head, fast and hard leaving Heeseung moaning and whining as he unconsciously bucked his hips towards you. The tip of his dick hitting your throat, making you gag by the action but that didn’t stop you, it only had your cunt throbbing.

“You can be rough with me,” you said as you pulled away from him, something inside you awakened. Teary-eyes looking up at him, and Heeseung swore that you even looked prettier than ever. 

“You sure? I don’t want to hurt you,” Heeseung asked with a worried tone. 

You only roll your eyes, “You’re acting like you weren’t rough that night.” you said before you sucked him once again.

“I’m not holding back then,” he started by thrusting his hips inside your mouth, earning another choking gag from you. “You’re so warm, your pretty little mouth is so tight for me too.”

Both hands find its way on your head, holding it steady as he started to fuck your mouth. You could only hold onto his hips for balance as his thrust became fast and harsh that drool started to trail down your chin. 

“You feel — fuck,” Heeseung moans. “So good to me — can’t believe you’re mine.” the sounds Heeseung made had you throbbing more than ever. Your eyes are pooled with tears as his bulging head continues to abuse your throat.

“Want you to be inside you,” Heeseung breathes, mercilessly pounding inside you before pulling his dick out of your mouth, leaving you gasping for air. 

“Want to come inside you,” Heeseung drunkenly said. Grabbing your chin and wiping the drool away before sloppily giving you a kiss. “Ride me baby, want to see a pretty girl on top of me.”

You hastily remove the rest of your pajamas as Heeseung climbs over your bed, resting on the headboard as he straddles you to his lap. Your wet pussy on top of his dick, grinding on it while both hands are on your waist. 

Raising your hips a little, you grabbed Heeseung’ cock to align it on your entrance, whimpering as his bulging tip kissed your pussy’s lips before you slowly sink down, feeling every inch of his dick open your pussy, moaning in pleasure until he’s fully sheathed. 

“Heeseung — fuck,” you moaned as you started bouncing up and down. Your walls wet and warm, as his cock slides inside you, feeling him deeper than before. Every inch and veins of his dick is all you can feel as his head continues to kiss your cervix, knocking you out of breath everytime it happens. 

Heeseung could only moan loudly as he watched you ride him. You had your head thrown back as your tits bounced in front of him. He could get off just by watching you. His pretty girl, riding his dick, whining loudly as you continued to call his name — not caring about whether Jungwon or his other friends might hear you. 

You let out a yelp when Heeseung smacks your ass cheeks, his smirk widening as he meets you thrust, bucking his hips upwards. Vulgar sounds and body slapping against each other echoed around the room as the two of you continued to drown into each other’s pleasure. 

Heeseung adjusted his position, sitting up and pulling you closer to him. Stopping your movement when you feel him wraps his arms around you. Coming face to face with you, Heeseung could only smile as he swiped your hair that was stuck on your face, making you fawn a smile. 

“Can’t believe your mine,” he said excitedly, like he was a high school kid, making you laugh before cupping his face, cheeks squeezing which delighted you more. 

“I’m yours Hee,” you mumbled, and you can’t believe that those words came out from your mouth. 

Heeseung pulled you to a loving kiss, before he started thrusting inside. With him continuing your movement, you remove yourself from him before resting your head on his shoulder as your hands find their way on his back. Nails scratching as the pleasure became too intense to you.

Loud moans and whimpers continued to fill the room. You cried to his ears as your nails pressed harder on his back. Tears falling away from your eyes as Heeseung felt you twitch above him, slowly not being able to bounce on him as your toes started curling. 

“You want to cum pretty girl?” he whispered to you, and you could only nod feverishly, making Heeseung thrust harder than before, adjusting his pace until his cocks slid into your most sensitive spot. 

“Heeseung — ah!” you choke out a moan as your orgasm came in just a glimpse. Your body was shaking, holding Heeseung tightly while his thrust became faster, chasing after his orgasm, which made you cry harder.

“Hee — inside” you cried. “Inside please — ugh, want to feel you.”

Fuck. Heeseung curses internally. You just can’t say that and expect him to act rationally. With the way your pussy’s sucking him in had his dick twitching. Heavy groans and whimpers escaping his lips as he continued to fuck your overly sensitive inside. 

In a minute, Heeseung groans loudly as he spills his warm seeds inside you, making you moan in pleasure, as he continues to thrust you until he’s too tired to move. 

For a moment, none of you moved, Heeseung held you tightly as he caught his breath. His dick still inside yours, twitching and sensitive. So warm for him that he just wanted to be inside you. Heeseung lays down in bed along with you. Everything was sticky and warm, but you two didn’t care. The only thing you can feel was Heeseung’s warmth and the faint beating of his chest.

“What now?” you asked, clarity finally getting inside your senses. 

“Well —” Heeseung groans as your hips unconsciously move. “Don’t move, you’re making me hard.”

But you smile at him evilly, grinding at him who let out a soft moan.

“Stop that — fuck.”

“Or what?” 

Heeseung glares at you. And before you could say another word, he grabs you by your waist and pushes you down with your back hitting the mattress. Heeseung hovers over you as he does an experimental thrust inside you, making you whine. 

“You’re going to pay for this,” Heeseung swore, and you can only chuckle as you feel him hardening inside you. 

“I wouldn’t mind that,” you said, hands finding the back of his hair and pulling him down for a kiss.

Surely, it was a long night for the two of you. 

-

You stared at Heeseung’s sleeping figure. Peaceful and gentle as your hands reached for it, trailing on his messy hair. The way his cheeks are squeezed against the pillow, soft lips pouting in default. Heeseung looks so pretty and you can’t believe that this is the first thing you saw the moment you open your eyes. 

You don’t know what time it is. All you know is that it’s morning. The sun is up, and the spring breeze passes through your window’s curtain. Underneath the sheets were your naked bodies, warm and sticky, yet intimate to feel.

It’s been a few minutes since you woke up, and unlike the last time when you woke up alone, Heeseung is right next to you. You were staring at him for so long that you know that you’ll look like a creep, but it’s the morning haze that has your mind still unwinding everything that happened. That’s why it’s still not sinking into you that Heeseung is sleeping beside you. 

It’s as if he felt your gaze, Heeseung’s lips curved into a smile. Your eyes widened when you felt his arms pulling you towards him, head resting on his chest as you two bathed in the warm sunlight passing through the window. 

“You’re going to melt me with your stare,” Heeseung mumbled. 

“Sorry, I just — haven’t sinked in everything,” you replied. 

Heeseung softly chuckles, a soft kiss planting on top of your head as he caresses your hair, “you want to do it again?”

“We had enough Hee!” you said immediately, punching his chest which only made him laugh.

“I’m just kidding,” he said, resting his chin underneath your head. 

Silence faltered the room. Only your soft breathing can be heard, Heeseung’s hands continue to caress your hair while as you rest on his chest, you can feel his heartbeat — faster than usual, and you wonder if it’s because of you. 

“We should go on a date,” Heeseung suggested. “Our first official date as a couple, what do you think?”

“That would be nice,” you whispered. 

“Should we do it later? It’s a Saturday, do you want to go out or stay indoors? Oh wait — do you want to go to other museums? Oh maybe we should try those painting sessions with wine.”

You only laughed at his words. “You’re taking this seriously.”

“Why wouldn’t I? I am so happy that you’re my girlfriend now, we’re going to do everything together~”

“That has a nice ring on it boyfriend,” you look at him before giving a quick kiss. “How about we decide on that later? For now, let’s just stay like this for a while.” 

Heeseung nods, closing his eyes as he pulls you closer to his touch. The solemn silence hovering as both hearts hold each other dearly. Everything feels like a dream. You felt peaceful not until a loud banging on the door startled you. That’s when you remember —

“Heeseung hyung! I know you’re in there!” you scrambled from your position as a familiar voice boomed outside your room, but Heeseung remained unfazed. 

“Jungwon might see us!” you panicked, trying to look for your clothes on the floor. 

“He’ll live,” Heeseung drowsily said, grabbing you and trapping you in his arms. “Let’s just rest here for a while.”

“Heeseung! Can we at least get dressed!?” you shouted, glancing at the door wherein any minute now, your younger brother will barge in. 

But a teasing smile formed on your boyfriend’s lips, kissing the end of your nose as he snuggled you closer like you’re his teddy bear. “Don’t worry about that.”

“Heeseung hyung! You’re dead to me — what the fuck!?” The banging stopped, but you can hear shouting and cursings from the outside, along with Sunghoon’s loud laughter followed by a light scowling from Sunoo. 

“Don’t worry about Jungwon! But you owe us one, asshole!” Jay shouted through the door. 

“Holy fucking shit, he’s like a wild cat,” Jake laughs. 

“What the hell, Jungwon hyung scratched me!” Riki shouted.

You don’t know what’s happening outside, they’re probably tackling your younger brother. You can hear Heeseung snickering as he lightly sways you, assuring you that everything will be alright. You glance at him, he has a soft smile on his lips making you melt. Slowly, your worries disappear as you feel safer in Heeseung’s hold. 

-

Epilogue.

“Decelis are you ready!?” Heeseung shouted through the mic. 

School has just ended. Fortunately, you’ve passed the second semester with ease. Now, you’re anticipating the two month vacation before senior year arrives. Feeling a rush of excitement and nervousness because next year is going to be your last year in college.

But for now, you’re with the thousands of students, at Decelis University’s open field. It’s the annual year-end concert. A celebration for the success of the end of an academic year. Decelis typically invite bands and singers to perform — of course, Arcanum was part of the line-up. 

You screamed along Karina and Yunah as Jay opened the performance with a one-minute guitar solo, shouting “Are you ready to rock!?” causing everyone to scream louder. You could only fawn over the boy who’s rocking the stage while your boyfriend ran around the stage, dancing freestyle along the beat. 

You watched as Heeseung returned to the center, placing the mic on the stand before he started singing It’s not living (If it’s not with you) by The 1975. His voice filled the whole place as cheers became loud the moment he sang the first line. 

“That’s my boyfriend!” you shouted, making Yunah and Karina tackle you teasingly. 

“We get it! Gosh, you won this one, y/n,” Karina teased. 

“You managed to bag the most wanted guy in Decelis, I think we need tips from you,” Yunah added. 

“I think you should stop playing with fire, and just tell him what you feel instead,” you replied to Yunah who only rolled her eyes. 

“I’ll just die instead,” she nonchalantly replied. Glancing back at the led screen wherein they’re showing Jungwon who’s too immersed with playing the drums. 

After the first song, Sunghoon immediately shifted the vibe by playing a soft intro of a familiar song. Heeseung smiles as he places his hand on the mic stand. 

“We’re going to change the vibe from here, any lovers around here?” and he boldly raised his hands, earning screams from the crowd. A few students raising their hands while single people are booing jokingly. 

The smile on Heeseung’s lips turned wider as he feels along with the song, “Feel like sun on my skin

So this is love, I know it is.”

You only stood there, watching as Heeseung continued singing. Even dancing along with it, pretending like the mic stand is his partner. Swinging it lightly as he turned his attention towards the crowd once again. A smirk on his lips as he winks flirtily. 

“Gosh, and he wonders why hundreds of girls are head over heels to him,” you stated. 

“And sadly, he’s not available anymore!” Karina shouted. “Seriously, we need a crowning moment for you.”

Your relationship with Heeseung wasn’t that officially launched. It’s not that you two decided to keep it secret, but you two don't see the need to officially launch it. Let people wonder. You two menacingly agreed. Only your close friends knew about you two being a couple. 

Of course, some small public displays of affection weren’t subtle like the way you two are now seated together in the classroom, or some people seeing Heeseung carrying your bag. — it’s safe to say that people are quick to conclude that you two have something going on. If it’s serious or not, that’s what they don’t know. 

“Thank you so much Decelis University for having us here. We are really happy to perform in front of you guys, your energy gives us energy, but sadly we only have one last song left,” Heeseung stated after finishing another song, earning a few “awww” and “noooo” from the crowd, even chanting for one more song. 

“For the last song, this one is our very first composed song. We dedicated our time in composing and writing the lyrics, and this is the first time we will be performing it. So hopefully, you guys will love it.” Heeseung explained, his smile turning wide like he was proud to introduce the song.

“More like you wrote the lyrics,” Jay pointed out, which made the crowd scream. “The things love do, am I right?” and that made the crowd scream louder. 

Heeseung only laughs, he didn’t even try to ignore it at all. “Are you ready for a serenade, Decelis?”

For a moment, there was silence. Shortly, a few strums from Heeseung’s guitar escape as he softly hums to the mic. His eyes closed like he’s feeling along with the song. 

He started the verse with a soft tone. Dearly like he’s dedicating the song to someone. You’re not slow to pick up the lyrics of the song. It meant something and that’s when you can feel your heart start beating fast. You only stood there, frozen as you watched your boyfriend sing in front of a thousands of crowd. 

“I want you to know, I love you the most, I'll always be there right by your side,” Heeseung sings, opening his eyes and even though you’re far from the stage, and even if you’re just watching him from the screen, he smiles widely like he’s staring at you. 

“'Cause baby, you're always in my mind, just give me your forever.” You can feel your heart tugging. It swells with joy as you watch your boyfriend sing his love for you in front of a crowd. His heavenly voice swooning every student, especially you. He continued singing, mesmerizing the crowd with how he sang it — like he’s swearing his vows for you. 

“Just give me your forever.” he sang one last time before taking a bow. 

Cheers started to become louder. Continuous screams from the student as they started chanting Arcanum’s name. Heeseung could only smile as he gestured to his friends to take the center for a short photo time and final goodbye. 

It didn’t sinked into you that Arcanum just finished their set. It was until Karina and Yunah pulled you to go towards the department building that serves as a backstage area because you promised Heeseung that you’ll be meeting them afterwards. 

You found them in one of the classrooms, laughing as they stuffed themselves with snacks prepared by the university. As soon as Heeseung sees you, his smile widens as he walks towards you before pulling you to a hug, even carrying you and twirling you like you two are the only people in the room.

“Okay that’s enough, give respect to single people here!” Jay shouted but his words slipped out of your ears when Heeseung pulled you for a kiss, soft and eager, earning mixed reactions from the people inside. 

“I can’t believe I’ll be seeing this for the rest of my life,” Jungwon cringed. 

“You’ll live,” Yunah taunted, sticking her tongue out to the drummer who only rolled his eyes. 

“The song —” you breathe the moment you two broke the kiss, “you wrote the lyrics?”

“You like it?” Heeseung asked, thumb grazing your cheeks.

“I love it! It’s beautiful,” you smiled. 

“It’s for you.” 

That’s when you took a step back, eyes wide but filled with happiness as you could only smile wider, squishing your boyfriend’s soft cheeks which is a form of endearment for you. 

“I can’t believe you.” you giggled.

“Did you even hear what Jay said?” Heeseung mumbled, grabbing your cheeks the same way, before planting a kiss on your lips one more time. 

“Of course,” you grinned. “Just want to hear it from you.”

“Stop that you guys! Or we’ll have to report you for pda!” Karina shouted, along with the others throwing tissues and some light stuff which you two avoided — even Jungwon didn’t hesitate to throw his drumsticks at the two of you. 

But the two of you only laughed at their antics. Heeseung gives you a sweet kiss on your temples, as he puts his arms around your shoulders, holding you dearly.

And as you glance at him, you could only rest your head on his shoulder, fiddling with his hands resting on your shoulder — a way for you to feel that Heeseung is yours, at arms length on your reach. 

[yearsbecomingcool]

thrill me, chill me, fulfill me | simon kalivoda

donate to gaza here | masterlist

pairing | college au!simon x co-worker!reader

synopsis | simon has gone off to college and started working at a movie theater where he meets you. it doesn't take long for him to fall to you and one thing leads to another and he's on his knees in front of you in the office.

warnings | 18+!!!! mdni!!!, sexual content, semi-public sex, subby!simon, oral f!receiving, dom!reader, f!reader, public humiliation, sexual fantasies, mentions of piv, attempted footjob, we're getting into pet-lay territory with some of this dialogue, reader calls simon 'puppy', dry humping, and a fluffy ending.

word count | 7.1k

a/n | i love rocky horror so much and i feel like simon would love it too so all the sequences at the rocky horror screening were so much fun. i still haven't been able to go to a screening but it seems so fun. i also had to make him work at a theater because the movie theater is my happy place and i have to throw my interests in somehow!!

taglist | @slaytheusurper

Simon Kalivoda had managed to do the impossible, he graduated high school and got the fuck out of Shadyside…temporarily at least. He’d gotten into Kent State and was sad he didn’t have the grades to join Kate somewhere better but he’d take what he could get. He’d saved up enough money from his years working at the grocery store to put down a deposit for an apartment near campus and started his summer off by applying at as many places near campus as possible. The first one to call him back was a family owned movie theater by campus, they were known for hosting screenings of The Rocky Horror Picture Show and tons of midnight movies. He quickly took the job and that’s where he met you. 

His first shift was one of the midnight shadow cast screenings of The Rocky Horror Picture Show. He had no idea what he was in for, but you spent the first hour of your shift getting him caught up. You leaned against the concession counter, sipping on a Dr. Pepper. “All these people are gonna come in looking like they came from those cool queer clubs in New York. They’re nice but one of the biggest parts of this is making a total mess so it’s gonna be a bitch to clean but they tip great. They throw rice, newspapers, confetti, toilet paper, toast, and cards. A few people have been known to throw hot dogs and prunes too so be on the lookout for that. They bring in water guns and all kinds of shit, it’s a whole thing.”

“And Eli is okay with that?” Simon asks, slack jawed. He can’t believe the owner would be okay with patrons making such a mess.

“It’s good for business and it’s fun, he’d never admit it but I always see him go into the theater when it starts, he loooooves that shit. I’ve gone on nights off before, it is pretty fun. They have a whole ritual for virgins, people who’ve never gone to one of those midnight showings, it’s humiliating…and a little fun.”

“Did you have to do that ritual?” Simon is pretty intrigued.

“Oh yeah. I came in with my fishnets and sequin hot pants thinking I could be unnoticed but the people who run these remember everybody. They put a giant V on my forehead in red lipstick when I walked in and they pulled me and all the other ‘virgins’ up on stage. They really like the shy ones, which of course I was. They made all of us fake an orgasm and the two they liked best got pulled up for the wedding scene to be Ralph and Betty.”

Simon tilts his head like a puppy, “How’d you do?” He has a stupid little smirk on his face when he says it.

“Let’s just say I made the best Betty Monroe this town has ever seen.” He throws his head back and laughs in a way that makes you wanna kiss him.

“Laugh it up for now but next screening I’m making sure you’re off and I’ll be front and center to watch them pull you up there. Just how good of an actor are you, Simon?”

He smirks, “You’ll just have to wait for my debut.

You and Simon become friends quite quickly, you’re both around the same age and soak up movie knowledge like a sponge. Your slow shifts are spent going head to head in movie trivia and arguing over franchises and sequels. 

“There’s no way you think the Nightmare on Elm Street films are better than the Friday the 13th films, you’re full of shit Simon!”

“The only thing I’m full of is correct opinions. Jason is boring, he doesn’t ever talk. Freddy could kill him easily,” Simon retorts, pointing his twizzler at you.  

You smack the twizzler, “Bullshit! Freddy can only get people in their dreams, does Jason even sleep?”

He opens his mouth to speak but closes it soon after, he reaches up and scratches his head. “Wait, fuck, does he sleep? I think you just destroyed my whole argument here…”

“Maybe it’s a draw? If Jason can’t sleep they can’t fight…” You trail off.

“Whatever. Nightmare is still better than Friday, Freddy makes the movies. What does Jason have besides dumb teenagers having sex and getting killed with a machete?”

Before you can respond someone slaps the bell on the counter, “Shouldn’t you two be working?” It’s Eli, the owner and lead manager of the theater. He doesn’t look too amused by your bickering with Simon.

“Sorry Eli…I’ll go clean the bathroom or something…” You mutter, slipping out from behind the counter and heading for the supply closet. Simon watches you as you walk off and Eli rolls his eyes, snapping his fingers in front of Simon’s face.

“You need to be more subtle, y'know. I know she’s a pretty little thing but I didn’t hire you to stare all day, start restocking. You’re a good employee, don’t fuck it up with some silly little workplace romance. I’ve seen enough fizzle out to know how they all end, I don’t feel like losing either one of my best employees this year.” 

Simon sighs and salutes Eli, “You got it boss. I’ll stick to fantasizing about the girls on the posters instead.”

“Better,” Eli jokes before heading to his office.

As the school year was starting up along came another Rocky Horror showing. You’d pulled some strings and managed to get Simon off work that night just like you’d promised. He had freaked out over what to wear but you told him whatever he wore would be fine since you’d be doing his makeup anyway. He settled on a black blazer, black jeans, a band t-shirt, and his signature combat boots. He met you at your dorm like you insisted so you could help him get ready. He maneuvered through the halls until he’d found your room. A small whiteboard hung on the door, your name written in big blocky letters. You had a small dry erase marker hanging on the door for people to write or draw on it. Before knocking on your door Simon uncapped the marker and drew a little smiley face under your name. He knocks on your door and his eyes go wide when he sees you. You’re standing in front of him in a loose black corset that you’re holding against your chest, a pair of tiny rainbow sequin shorts, a pair of fishnets, and some platform boots. “Great timing, I needed someone to lace me up!” You pull him into your dorm room, shutting the door behind him. His eyes wander around your room, clothes spill out of the small laundry basket near your open closet door, posters you’ve taken home from the theater line your walls. You’ve got a framed poster of ‘Serial Mom’ hanging above your bed. You nod your head towards it, “Eli got me into John Waters when I started working at the theater, he gave me that framed poster to celebrate my one year anniversary of working at the theater.”

“That’s so cool of him…I can’t say I’ve ever seen Serial Mom.”

“I’ve got it on tape, we’ll watch it sometime. But for now can you lace me up?” You ask, turning your back to him. The laces of your corset hang loose down your back. His eyes wander lower than they should and he briefly admires how your ass looks in those shorts, the bottoms of your cheeks hanging out just enough for his mind to go crazy. He clears his throat and begins to pull at the laces, he doesn’t pull tight enough, feeling scared to hurt you.

“Pull harder, you won’t hurt me, promise. I just really don’t need to flash anyone tonight more than I already am,” you laugh. 

His face is flushed and his hands tremble as he pulls the strings tighter and tighter against your skin. You bend forward in a way that makes his breath get caught in his throat, “Pull as hard as you can, I’m serious.” He gulps and obeys, pulling the strings as hard as he can. You whimper softly as he does, “There we go…tie it for me.” He carefully ties the things of the corset, double knotting it just to be sure it’s secure. He takes a step back when he’s done and watches as you stand up straight, checking that it fits right. You turn back to him with a smile, “Thank you! Now let’s get you ready, yeah? Sit on the bed for me.”

Simon sits down on the bed obediently, eyes following you as you go over to your desk and rifle through your makeup drawer until you find what you’re looking for. You set a small eyeshadow palette and a few brushes on the bed next to Simon, holding a gel eyeliner pen in your hands. You stand between his legs and bend down, “I’m gonna make you pretty. Just do what I say so it doesn’t get fucked up, ‘kay?”

He nods in response, trying to keep eye contact and not let his eyes wander. 

“Look up for me, this is gonna feel weird but I won’t hurt you.” As Simon looks up you very carefully apply the black eyeliner to his waterline, his face scrunches up as he tries desperately not to blink. 

“Fuck this feels weird!” Simon exclaims, his hands balled up into fists against the comforter.

“I’m sorry! Sorry! I’ll try to speed it up, let me just…” You quickly outline about halfway under both eyes before playing the eyeliner down and reaching for your eyeshadow palette and a small brush. You smoke out the line beneath his eye before applying a soft silver shimmer to both eyes. After that you start on his top lids, you hold him by the chin as you lean towards him. “This is gonna feel awful but please don’t move.”

“You owe for this,” Simon mutters, enjoying the feeling of you holding him in place.

“Whatever you say…” You start quickly applying eyeliner to his upper waterline and he groans in discomfort.

“Oh what the fuck?! What are you doing?!” He yelps, hands reaching forward for your waist. His hands curl into the fabric of your shorts.

“Simon, stop! Fuck…just let me…can you lay down? It might make it easier on both of us.”

“I uhh…yeah…sure just uh…w-whatever you need to do…” He stumbles over his words, laying back on your twin sized bed. You climb onto him, straddling his hips. You lean over him and giggle when you look down at him, “Is this okay?”

“Yeah, it’s um…it’s fine.” He prays you don’t notice how red he is. You notice. 

You lean down towards him to finish applying the eyeliner to his waterline. His hands grip your hips and his breathing is unsteady, this having an effect on him and you love it. You’ve always been into the submissive types, a strong muscled man who takes charge has never really done it for you. The dorky guys who would do anything you said no matter what are more for you. When Simon was first hired you were instantly intrigued. You begged Eli to put him with you for his first shift and he did. He was witty enough to keep up with you but intimidated enough to let you order him around, he was just what you’d been wanting. “Close your eyes for me.” You watch as he obeys and you apply a thin line of eyeliner onto his eyelids, just barely peeking above his lash line. You smoke it out with the same black eyeshadow from before and then take a silver glitter and apply it to his inner corner. You add mascara as a final step before rolling off him, “Go see what you think.” You smile over at him as he gets up from the bed and goes over to your vanity mirror to look. His jaw drops and his eyes widen as he looks at himself in the mirror. 

“Oh shit! I look…hot?” This is the confidence he needs for the rest of the night to not fall to his knees and beg you to kiss him. In high school he’d always act more confident than he really was, he pretended he was some smooth ladies man and women would just fall to his feet. That couldn’t have been further from the truth. The most action he’d get was a few girls flirting to try and get lower prices on whatever pills they were buying off him that week. Well that’s not entirely true. He wasn’t a virgin, he’d lost his virginity when he was 16. It wasn’t anything special, a nervous hookup with a girl he met at a party. They were both nervous and it was sloppy, fine but forgettable. His hand had really been the only one to keep him company as the years went on.

You laugh and walk over to him, grabbing him by his shoulder to turn him towards you. You take a look examining his face carefully, “I think you need some blush.” You shove him down into your desk chair and look through your makeup for a shade that’ll look nice on him. He hardly needs it though after how you manhandled him. You come back over with a soft pink shade and a brush. You apply the blush, careful to not add too much. You use it almost as a contour, following his bones structure and fanning it out onto his cheeks. You turn the chair for him to look back into the mirror, “Now you look really hot.”

“Woah…I do…goddamn. The only other makeup I’ve worn before was like…green face paint in high school and some black on my eyebrows. I uh, I used to be my school's mascot. We were the witches,” he explains. 

“I can totally imagine you as a school mascot, you have that energy,” you say as you put away your makeup.

“Thanks…I think?”

“I meant that in a good way, I swear!” You say defensively as you stroll over to your closet looking for a jacket. You hold up two options for Simon to choose from, a black leather jacket and a black blazer. “Which one do you think?”

Simon thinks for a minute examining his options, if you wore the blazer you could kind of match him but the leather jacket would look cool too. “Uhh…blazer, definitely the blazer.”

“Good choice, we can match. You shove the leather jacket back into the closet and slip on the blazer. It’s longer than Simon expected, falling just above your shorts. It looks like you may as well be pantless, not that he’s complaining of course.

You sit on your bed with a handwritten list of call outs and prop instructions. You made a bag of props for you and Simon to share as well. Simon scoots the chair closer to take a look. He smiles at your messy handwriting and the stickers that adorn the sheet. The top reads ‘A Virgin’s Guide to Rocky Horror’. He’s more than happy that the blush you applied earlier conceals his actual blushing. You hand the list to him, your fingers brushing as you do. You’ve obviously touched before but every touch after you straddled him earlier makes him feel like he’s on fire. “I made it for you, it’s way too much to memorize for your first time so you can just read it off whenever it’s time.” You give him a soft smile, taking a second to admire how the eyeliner makes his blue eyes pop. 

“Thank you, seriously you didn’t have to do all this.” Simon was worried about making friends when he went off to college, it felt weird to be separated from Kate and Deena after being friends for so long. Thanks to you he didn’t need to worry anymore, you welcomed him on his first day at work like you had been friends for years.

“I know but I couldn’t have you looking stupid, could I?” You laugh, reaching for your purse. You look through it until you find your bright red lipstick, the exact one you’re wearing right now. You lean forward, signaling him to lean down. “Almost forgot…” You uncap the lipstick and draw a giant red V on his forehead. “There, look’s complete now.”

“What happened to make sure I didn’t look stupid?” He groans, leaning back in his chair.

“Hey! It’s tradition, don’t blame me. It was gonna end up on you one way or another. Just be thankful I got it over with now, yeah?”

He rolls his eyes and shakes his head, “Can’t believe I let you talk me into this.”

“Shut up, you’re gonna have a great time and you look hot, seriously everyone is gonna go crazy for that eyeliner. You should be thanking me honestly, if at least one person doesn’t ask for your number tonight I’ll be shocked. I mean seriously, look at you.” You motion to him.

He feels his cheeks heat up and his mouth go dry. He doesn’t know how to say he wants it to be you who asks for his number, he wants it to be you who kisses him in the theater bathroom and messes up his hair in the process. Instead he chuckles, “We’ll see.”

“Don’t let me leave disappointed, pretty boy.” You ruffle his hair playfully, he wishes you’d tug him by it and pull him into a kiss instead.

The drive to the theater is more nerve wracking than he’d like to admit. Five minutes of pure anxiety as you try to quickly explain the film to him. “Fuck it’s so sexy and fun, it changed my life when I first watched it. My parents are total conservatives, they hate anything fun and liberating, so I watched it for the first time at a friend's house. It completely changed my life. I stopped really giving a shit about what my parents and all those other conservative losers thought about me and started living for me. I’ve never looked back since.”

“I’ve kind of done the same. Shadyside was kind of a nightmare to live in. All those Sunnyvale kids judged us just for where we were born, it was fucked. I think I stopped caring just to spite them and their stuck up attitudes, y’know?”

You turn to look at him, interested in learning more. “What was Shadyside like? I mean I’ve heard all these stories over the years, it’s murder capital of the country after all…”

He parks the car and turns to you, “It was just like every other boring small town in America. Every couple of years there’d be some murders, my senior year it was Ryan Torres killing Heather Watkins and a couple other mall employees. I guess growing up like that you get a little…numb to it I guess? I know that sounds bad but as soon as one happened everyone at school would joke around about it, I guess it’s how we coped with it.” 

You nod in understanding, “I get that, the whole joking around part. My family does the same. At a certain point it’s really all you can do.”

Simon unbuckles his seat belt, “As fun as it is to talk about death with you I think we should get in line, it looks like it’s already pretty long.” He nods towards the line and you unbuckle and grab the prop bag from the backseat. You walk together towards the longline of movie goers. 

“Damn, looks like a great turn out. Are you ready to give them a show?” You joke.

He looks at you in confusion, “What do you mean?”

“Did you forget about the initiation for virgins?” You giggle.

“Fuck…” He mutters. He did in fact forget.

“Oh babe you’re in for it tonight…”

As everyone trickles into the theatre Simon and the other virgins are pulled to the stage. You take a seat in the middle near the audience and put your prop bag in a seat to save it for Simon. He’s nervously holding his hands in front of him as the announcer begins to speak. “Welcome everyone to another showing of The Rocky Horror Picture Show.” They pause as the crowd erupts into cheers. “We have some fresh virgins here to provide us with our favorite pre-show entertainment. We’ll be seeing who can fake an orgasm the best. Why don’t you all introduce yourselves to the crowd before we begin?” They pass the microphone to the girl standing closest to them, she’s dressed like Janet at the beginning of the film. Her nervousness is clear on her face. Simon is fourth in line and he puts on an act of confidence when it’s his turn, “I’m, Simon. I’m gonna win this little competition, trust me.” You raise your eyebrows at his confidence, now you really want to see what he has in store.

Finally everyone has finished introducing themselves and the mic is handed back to the host, “Now why don’t we get this started. Simon,” they point towards him as he stands in the middle of the lineup, “Why don’t you start us off since you’re so confident.” His cheeks go red with embarrassment, even with his blush on it’s clear thanks to the unrelenting glow of the spotlight. He’s really regretting his words, sure he’s always been a class clown but this audience is packed. He laughs nervously as he’s handed the microphone. “Uhh okay…”

The silence of the crowd does nothing to calm his nerves, so you decide to yell some encouragement. “C’mon baby! Give me some shower head material!” The crowd laughs but it seems to help Simon as he recognizes your voice.

He bites his lip and closes his eyes, he’ll feel better if he doesn’t look. He decides he’ll give a little build up, whimpering pathetically into the mic. He imagines you riding him, his hands on your hips as he begs you to let him come. He starts to moan into the mic, getting louder and louder before mumbling, “Oh fuck…” He moans and whines dramatically into the mic, falling to his knees and throwing his head back. He pants and whimpers as if it’s the real thing. You can feel a wet spot growing in your panties, you know he just gave you the best damn shower head material of your life. Once he’s done he stands and bows, his cheeks flushed. He hands the mic back to the presenter as everyone claps and cheers. He spots you in the crowd and teasingly blows you a kiss. 

“Well whoever is gonna be on top of him tonight is in for a treat, huh? I think that’ll be pretty tough to beat.” The rest of the virgins have their turns, none nearly as impressive as Simon. They end up choosing some girl dressed as Magenta to play Betty and of course pick Simon to play Ralph. He stays up at the front until after he’s gone up on stage for the wedding scene. You can’t help but feel a bit jealous as you watch him stand hand in hand with the other winner, she looks at him hungrily. You weren’t the only one impressed by his performance. Once their scene is over he runs back into the audience to find you. When he does you pull him down into the seat and kiss his cheek, leaving a red lip print. “You were fucking hot. I told you someone’s getting your number tonight.” 

He laughs and whispers, “They might ask for it but I’m not giving it out to just anyone.”

You raise an eyebrow, “Got your eye on someone?”

He shrugs, “I might.”

Once the movie is over you and Simon head to the local diner down the street from the theater. The winning girl had tried to approach him after the movie but you were quick to pull him away. Sure it was selfish but you couldn’t give a fuck. You wanted him for yourself even if you were too cowardly to make a move yet. You sat across from him in the booth, you shared a basket of fries together as you talked. “So? Did you have fun?” You dip your fry into the small tin of ketchup as you put your feet up next to where he sits.

He smiles, “I had a great time. The uhh,” he lowers his voice, “competition was a little embarrassing but your encouragement helped me out actually.”

“Well I had to say you definitely succeeded in giving me some shower head material so thanks for that,” you joke. 

He chokes on his sprite, “W-What-”

You stifle your laughter, “Calm down, I’m kidding! But you were pretty impressive, as a former winner myself I have to give you that.”

He smirks down at the table, clearly trying to make up his mind on something. “Am I ever gonna get to see your performance or?”

Now it’s your turn for your face to heat up in embarrassment, you drop your fry back into the basket. “Uhh…I guess you’ll have to really earn it out of me.” 

“Right here?” He cocks eyebrow and looks at you teasingly.

“What would you even do?”

He leans back and crosses his arms, looking around to make sure your section is empty. “Well…I could always get on my knees under the table. Spread your legs apart and pull down your shorts. I could tear a hole in those fishnets and maybe I could be mean and tease you through your underwear. Eventually I’d move them to the side or maybe I’d fully pull them down and eat you out and really earn it out of you.” 

Your jaw drops, you want him right here in this diner and you don’t give a fuck who sees. “W-Would you-”

“Not here. You’d be too loud,” he says smugly. 

“You sound so sure you could get me that loud,” you snap back. You move your foot off the seat and use it to kick his legs apart under the table. You slowly start to trail your boot up his leg. 

“I-I could! Y-You’d-” He yelps when the toe of your boot presses against his inner thigh. 

“I’d what, Simon?” You ask innocently. You start to move the toe of your boot towards his crotch, enjoying how he squirms in his seat. “You’re not so tough now, huh?” You lightly press the toe of your boot against his crotch, smirking as he bites his lip to stay quiet.

“You wanna get out of here?” You giggle.

He nods quickly, throwing a twenty on the table and standing up quickly. He grabs your hand and pulls you up, pushing you in front of him as he leads you to his car. As soon as you get in the car you’re on him. You kiss him hard, tugging at his hair as he leans against the console to reach you. He whines against your lips and you smirk against him, tugging harder at his hair. You love when he whines. You’re just about to move to his neck when there’s a knock on the window and the shine of a flashlight coming through. You groan as you pull away from him, “Not the fucking pigs…”

Simon sighs and turns towards the window, rolling it down for the cop standing outside the car. “Hi officer…” he says through gritted teeth.

“License and registration please,” the cop says emotionlessly. He leans his head down, looking at you, “License from you too, now.”

You both try to keep neutral faces as you look for your IDs and Simon looks for his registration, he hands them over to the cop once you’ve found them and the cop takes a look. “You know if I let you go any further I could’ve charged you both with public indecency and exposure.”

You both hang your heads shamefully, “Yes, officer. We’re very sorry,” you say.

He continues to lecture the both of you before finally letting you go. Once Simon has started to drive off back to your dorm you’re both howling with laughter. “Holy shit! Cock blocked by the pigs…can’t say that’s ever happened before!” He laughs. 

“I can’t say it’s happened to me either…the RA’s are pretty strict about late night guests so I don’t think I’ll be able to wrap this up. You think I gave you enough to manage?”

He rolls his eyes at you, “Yeah yeah, me and my hand will have a nice conversation about the way you were about to give me a footjob.” 

“Me and my shower head will have a conversation about that orgasm you faked on stage.”

“Promise?”

You nod, “Mhm, I was serious. That was some top tier shower head material, babe.”

“I tried, I really did.” He looks proud of himself.

“Oh I could tell.” 

He pulls into a parking spot outside your dorm. “So, when am I seeing you again?”

You groan and run a hand through your hair, “You’re gonna hate me but probably not till our next shift together. You work thursday?”

He nods, “Mhm, closing shift.”

You smile, “Me too, looks like I’ll be seeing you then.” 

He smiles and leans forward, capturing your lips in a soft kiss. It’s not as needy as before, it’s sweet and soft instead. You kiss him back just as soft, if you could you’d kiss him for the rest of your life. When he pulls away he’s smiling like he just had his first kiss, “I’ll be thinking of you.”

“So will I. I’ll be looking forward to seeing you Thursday.” You hop out of his car and wave goodbye as you head back up to your dorm. As soon as you get inside you’re stripping off your clothes and making a beeline for the shower. You’re lucky enough to have a detachable shower head and you put it to good use just like you promised. It doesn’t take long for you to cry out his name and hold onto the wall to stabilize yourself. You’re looking forward to the next time you’ll get your hands on him.

Thursday finally rolls around and it’s an absolute nightmare of a shift. There’s something sinister in the air that has kids vomiting, teenagers talking through movies, and best of all adults fighting at a screening of Showgirls of all movies. It’s safe to say that you and Simon don’t get much time together. You’re taking turns taking care of whatever problem pops up while the other tries to work the snack bar as quickly and efficiently as possible. It’s not till you get everyone out of the building that a slight sense of peace washes over you. You and Simon are taking your time to clean up each theater. Once you’re finally alone in the lobby with Simon you open your mouth to start a conversation but Eli interrupts before you can even get a word out. 

“I’ve got a family emergency going on. I trust you both to lock up and count the money. Don’t fuck it up, yeah?” He says quickly before tossing the keys to Simon and heading for the door. Simon runs to lock the doors behind him, finally making his way over to you. Simon leans against the counter, admiring how you look in the outfit you chose today. You’re grateful there’s no uniform and that the dress code is so relaxed. You’re in a black sweater and a black skirt that sits just above your knee. Simon has spent his whole shift imagining getting down on his knees and hiking it up to eat you out. If he had a little less self control he might’ve pulled you into the supply closet to lift it up and get a peek at what panties you were wearing that night.

“We’re finally fucking alone…” He mutters, taking his time as he looks you up and down.

“This is close to being the worst shift I’ve ever worked,” You groan, leaning forward against the counter.

“Well…since we have the keys to the office do you wanna go watch those guys fighting from earlier?”

Your eyes light up with excitement, a wide grin spreading across your face. “Oh hell yes! Let me grab some popcorn first, they looked pretty bloody getting escorted out so I know this is gonna be some good shit!” You grab a small tub and fill it with popcorn, slathering it in butter. You walk with Simon to the office, making yourselves comfortable on some rolly chairs. You watch as Simon figures out how to reverse the cameras, going back until he finds right before the fight starts. The film played on the big screen when a man leaned over to a woman to say something, the man in the row behind him threw a handful of popcorn at them, a valid reaction to someone talking during a movie. It doesn’t take long for the man sitting behind the couple to drag the other guy out of his seat, a fight breaking out instantaneously, “Goddamn!” Simon grabs the popcorn bucket from your hands, spilling butter onto your exposed legs in the process.

You groan,  “Simon you got butter all over my legs, what the hell?!” You reach for a napkin but he grabs your wrist, stopping you.

He looks at you with a smirk, “Don’t worry, I’ll clean it up.” You watch as he pauses the camera footage and gets out of his chair, sinking to his knees in front of you. 

“What the hell are you-”

He cuts you off by spreading your thighs, “I told you, I’m gonna clean you up.” You watch with wide eyes as he starts by licking the butter that splashed onto your knees, he’s thorough about it, making sure he gets every last bit of it. He slowly moves his way up your legs as you watch, biting your lower lip softly. “Pull your skirt back.”

You mindlessly do as he says, spreading your legs wider instinctively. He can see your underwear now, plain black cotton panties with a lace edge, a small white flower sewn onto the front. He licks up your thighs, getting closer and closer to your core as he cleans you up. Soon you can feel his breath against your core, he turns his head to kiss your inner thighs. What starts as soft kisses quickly turns into him leaving an array of hickeys on your inner thighs. He’s marking you possessively. You reach down and grab him by his hair, pulling him out from between your thighs. He looks up at you with puppy dog eyes, his hair tousled and his cheeks flushed. “Let me take my skirt off first, I didn’t know you’d be so…eager.” You stand from the chair and push your left foot forward, “Wanna take my shoes off for me, puppy?”

He nods and begins to unzip your boots, helping you remove them carefully, setting them aside. He watches as you unzip your skirt and let it fall down to the floor, you step out of it and watch as he picks it up and folds it carefully, setting it next to your shoes. You sit back down, spreading your legs for him, sitting on the edge of the chair. You giggle as he pulls you forward by the chair. He starts to place soft kisses on your hips, smiling shamelessly as he does. “You’re so fucking beautiful, I couldn’t stop thinking about you for my whole shift. You know that?”

You blush like a schoolgirl, “You’re full of it…”

“I’m serious. Let me worship you, please. You deserve it…” He pleads.

“I’ll allow it…I guess…” You mutter sarcastically, leaning your head back as you watch him.

He carefully bites down on your waistband, trying to pull down your panties. You lift your hips to help him as you watch in amusement. You look down at him with your mouth agape as you watch him tuck the pair into his pocket.

“I’m gonna need those back y’know,” you cross your arms over your chest.

“Not happening, sorry. Maybe I wanna start a collection,” he teases.

“Are you always this bratty?”

He pretends to think about it, “Maybe.”

“Prick.”

He shoves his head back between your thighs, you sigh as you feel his warm breath against your now exposed cunt. His movements are slow and teasing as he places a kiss on your clit before sucking on it, pulling away and giggling at how your hands curl against the chair. He leans down to lick up your slit, the tip of his nose pressing against your clit. You whine, your eyes fluttering. It’s been too long since someone besides yourself has touched you. He brings a hand up to hold your hips steady, his other hand coming up to your folds. He spreads you open, teasing your slit with his tongue as he reaches up to pinch your clit. He chuckles to himself when you gasp, huffing in pain and annoyance at his teasing action. He pushes his middle and ring finger inside of you, scissoring them to spread you open as he leans forward and takes your clit into his mouth. He’s better at this than you could’ve imagined, pleasure washing over you as he pumps his fingers inside of you, curling them as he works to push deeper and deeper.

“Jesus fuck Simon, guess there wasn’t much else to do in Shadyside huh?” You joke breathlessly, a whimper escaping your lips directly after. You’re a mess from his touch, you can feel him smirk against you. He is pretty proud of his skills.

He starts to push his fingers deeper within you until he’s hitting just the right spot with every curl of his fingers. He pulls away from your clit, blowing on it, loving how it makes you squirm. You’re so responsive you’re driving him insane. He can’t help when he parts his thighs and settles his crotch against your leg. He starts to hump your leg like a bitch in heat as he returns to sucking your clit. The sight alone is enough to make your eyes roll back. You can’t believe how pathetic he’s making himself without even trying. You wanna drag him by his hair and make him your bitch, keep him on his knees in your dorm for your own entertainment. He whimpers and whines pathetically against your clit as he ruts against you, matching the pace of his fingers. You reach down to pull his face closer against your clit, moaning his name softly as you feel him whine against you. If this is on tape you want a copy. You’d play it till it fell apart and became unwatchable. He nips at your inner thighs before returning his attention back where you need it most. He pulls his fingers out of you, licking them clean, before diving back in headfirst. He shoves his tongue inside of you, picking back up where he left off. He eats pussy like a man starved, lapping up every bit he can get, curling his tongue to find the spot you need most. With how his nose presses against your clit you can’t take much more, holding his hair as tight as you can as your hips buck against his face. You whimper his name, a string of curses leaving your lips as you come. He works you through it, pulling back to let you catch your breath. A smug smile adorns his face as he looks at you, fucked out and panting.

“Gotta clean you up…” He mumbles, leaning back in to clean the cum off your thighs. He continues humping your leg as he does, mumbling your name and whimpering every now and then. He’s so desperate for it that you can’t help yourself from helping him out, bouncing your leg in sync with his thrusts. It doesn’t take long before he’s a panting mess just like you. He’s made a mess of his briefs and he couldn’t care less. He rests his head on your knee, looking up at you with puppy dog eyes.

“Can we do this all the time? Not hooking up at work…but just like hooking up…and going on dates? Fuck…I really want you to be mine, I know if I don’t ask now someone else will try to swoop in and-”

You cut him off, “Yes Simon, I’ll be your girlfriend.”

He beams up at you, lifting himself up to kiss you, cupping your face. You can taste yourself on his tongue but with how he’s kissing you it doesn’t matter. You pull him closer by his hair, it’s as if you’re trying to melt into his touch completely. You’re both putty beneath one another. When he pulls away he smiles at you with flushed cheeks.

Your eyes go wide in realization, “Simon.”

“Yeah?” He asks, sounding lovesick.

“We need to finish closing.”

“Oh shit!” He stands up and grabs your skirt off the floor and throws it at you. “Get dressed, I’m gonna finish cleaning the lobby, you count the money and I’ll recount it after!” He runs out of the office and back to where the two of you had been cleaning before. You laugh to yourself and redress, heading to the bathroom to wash your hands before going back and counting the money. Simon comes in and recounts when he’s done, before locking up the safe and heading to the break room to grab his things. You stand by the front doors, smiling to yourself as he jogs over, keys in hand. 

“I think we’re the best closers Eli has ever had!” He beams as he goes to set the alarm.

“Probably his only closers to fuck around in the office,” you scoff. 

Simon unlocks the door for you, opening it and letting you walk ahead of him to the next set of doors. He’s quick to relock the door before doing the same with the next set. “The other closers probably use the break room for that…or the bathrooms.”

“As hot as that was you’re never eating me out in the bathrooms, I’ve seen too much shit to ever let that happen in there.”

“Fair enough…” He walks you to your car, his arm around your waist. He presses you against the driver side door and kisses you for the last time that night. “On a night we’re both off I’ll take you on a real date, promise.” 

“I’ll hold you to it,” you smile, leaning your head against his.

“You drive safe.”

“I will if you do,” you retort.

He rolls his eyes and pulls away from you, “I better see you alive and well for your next shift.”

“I’ll do my best, boss.” You slip into your car and lean your head against the headrest. You smile to yourself until you realize Simon still has your underwear. “Oh goddammit!”

[axetivev]

— Summary: In a very sad Monday (at least, that was your perspective), you and Wu Xiangli, a new member. Had a role of assassinating a corrupt commander who was in a party for "high class", fortunately for Xiaoling, he was the one who executed the killing. Unfortunately for you, you were the bait.

— Warnings/Tags: Crossdressing (reader wears a maid outfit), Mentions of blood, Violence, Age gap [ Xiangli is two years younger ], Non-con touching, Asshole commander, Feminization (?), Gruesome scenes, Handjob, Fingering. Getting caught.

— Words: 4.3k

— A/N: yeah.... small info, if you read my violist reader drabble. i must apologize that my fics took longer to be uploaded. i've been sick for the past few days, and work also made it worse. fear not, i'm writing the fic after i finished this ! i'm not critically sick. i'm always available if you want to talk with me. that's all, I hope you enjoyed this fic !!

— Pairing: Oc!Wu Xiangli x Male!Reader

— translate ! : 哥哥 = Brother (this can be used for non family members)

BEFORE YOU READ WHATEVER THIS IS. PLEASE BE AWARE THAT THIS FIC INCLUDES GORE. YOU HAD BEEN WARNED.

If you could be honest, never in your life you imagine yourself working to be a assassin.

Your work was mostly dealt with murder (obviously), working by violence, having to work with dangerous people, and the possibility that you were a victim of assassination itself. Yes—thought, the pay was high. Is it worth it? For you, unfortunately. It’s a yes. Even though the chances of you getting killed was high, you found yourself having a lot of friends working for at least that you recall, four years experience.

You’ve work for this organization, Paxxy Internationals. Sometimes, you’d laugh to yourself because the name was a bit childish the name was—but that same organization what brings you here. Paxxy’s base was relatively close to your apartment, actually. It’s a convenient store. The workers were also your co-workers, you sometimes question yourself; how can people didn’t know? It’s somewhat weird for a convenient store that’s normal 24/7, closed at 12 P.M. or worst, not open for a whole week straight.

When the morning comes, fuck. It’s Monday. A groan as you sat up on the edge of your bed, praying your phone didn’t had so much notification.

Oh yep. Never mind.

Your friends, well. Work friends kept spamming you about a new guy coming in. Your colleagues knew you like men. But this is just absurd and just bullshit, just because it’s a guy. Doesn’t mean you automatically liked him!

——————————————————————

i heard he’s cute!

@[Name] wake up you idiot, raise and shineeeeee~

@[Name]

@[Name]

@[Name]

@[Name]

@[Name]

Guys, let him at least try to process whatever you little shits spam at him

——————————————————————

You don’t really had the energy to reply everyone’s bullshit. You simply yawned as you slowly scroll up, your colleague, Zhuxin sent a picture of Wu Xiangli. Just a simple glance, you already hated the fact he looked pretty. Messy black hair with hazel eyes. He isn’t practically muscular, he does had some muscle but not a lot like one of your male colleague, Xavier.

——————————————————————

i’m coming…

stop bombarding me with texts

——————————————————————

You turned your phone, you stood up from bed, letting it messy. Because, who would even come to your apartment anyway?

“[Name]! you do came.” Zhuxin’s voice echoed around the Paxxy’s meeting room. You came in with your usual suit, with Paxxy’s logo on your suit’s collar.

You grumble as you took your chair, which was next to Zhuxin. “As much as I hate that Mei and Touya terrorize me this morning, I still prefer to be here then in the apartment,” you sighed. Then added quietly. “Even thought I had to see their stupid faces…”

Zhuxin rolled her eyes, amusing by your comment. “Boss is coming a bit late, he said he had to help his wife about something, but he asked me to give you this,” she explained, giving you a sheet of paper. “Give this to [Name], he said.”

You raised and eyebrow, accepting the paper she gave you. “And this paper being?”

“To not use violence and followed the rule on your mission later. He doesn’t want Wu Xiangli to follow your steps OR traumatized a new co-worker.”

It’s relatively funny to remember that day when you first met Itto Touya, you just threw the plan like it was nothing when you and him was signed to kill a corrupt governor. The fact you still remembered it vividly—you stabbed that governor in the face—12 times—you saw Touya’s face paled when he saw blood on your face, as you kicked that corpse like nothing but rock. At the end, it resulted by Touya scared of going to work for a week or so.

“That man…” You sighed. Thanking Zhuxin after she gave you a pen, what you had to fill was just a yes and no question. Only two but it’s hard for you to held back to choose violence.

After you filled the paper, you decided to had a conversation with Zhuxin. You had a long conversation about a lot of things, until you lost track of time. Since most of your colleague was there, and your boss, Kamishiro was in front of the board. He rubbed his eyes, you noted that his eye bags had increased, maybe because he had to deal with his kids at home.

“Right so—” Kamishiro shuffled between his papers, he cleared his throat. His voice slowly sounding smooth yet professional. “I’m sure, here. Everyone knew why I called you there; we are getting a brand new member to our team.”

To think about it… there’s only five people who’s working for Paxxy, including this new member obviously, everyone already knew.

“Well then—please, welcomed Wu Xiangli .” Kamishiro extended his hand, everyone’s gaze met with Wu Xiangli.

He was identical to what Zhuxin sent on the group chat, even better—for a moment. Your professional face slowly melted, you mindlessly stare at the man in front of you—well, everyone. Xiangli was standing next to Kamishiro, your boss was around 183 cm Xiangli was seemingly taller, maybe your rough guess was around 187 cm.

Kamishiro when runs around everybody’s seats. Giving everyone a profile about Wu Xiangli, it wasn’t really detailed. The profile of Xiangli was rather simple—the profile card includes him with a neutral face, that still, he looks so pretty…

How many prettiest do you even use…

Name : Wu Xiangli

Age : 23

Nationality : Chinese

Height : 188 cm [6’2]

Weight : 72 [ 158 ibs]

Probably because of the muscle… you muttered to yourself as you bore to the profile. Your eyes just stare at that face, as if it hypnotize you. Zhuxin, who was beside you slow nudged your shoulder. A low chuckle escaped from her lips. Shit, you were caught!? You let out a cough that caught Xiangli’s attention, he smiled at you. Charismatic and innocent.

Is he though?

“Right, since all of us seated facing each other, I suggest Xiangli sat next to [Name]. Since his left is empty.” You snapped back to reality when Touya raised his hand. What even happened? Were you day dreaming? You looked at Zhuxin, who immediately avoiding your gaze. In front of you—Touya, Mei, and Xavier also did the same. Kamishiro just nodded thoughtfully, without another thought. Assigned Xiangli to sat next to you.

You couldn’t really bite back at your boss. Well, your salary would probably get decreased if you did it again. You sat on your place with a huff, crossing your arms over your chest as Xiangli next beside you. He adjusted his navy suit and Paxxy logo you yourself confused how did he get it so quickly. You stared at the Paxxy logo.

For new members to obtain it, they’ll have to face intense training for roughly six months. No exceptions, gender nor age. You’ve trained Touya in the past, and you’ve also seen how Zhuxin trained Xavier and Mei. Don’t forget, a lot of people who signed up for Paxxy didn’t last for a week. Dropping out the job because it was too much, but here is Xiangli. Proudly wearing the logo, you didn’t recall Zhuxin or other members training him, because when a new member came. Everyone had to rate his progress.

How odd…

“Is something wrong with me, ah… 哥哥?” Xiangli pointed at himself as he titled his head a shy smile formed between his lips. He looked so innocent, really.

You shook your head. “Sorry, a little distracted. Just… call me [Name], it’s fine.”

Xiangli’s eye lightened up. But there was a hint of worry in his eyes. “Isn’t it a bit… you know.”

“I’d rather be called my name then my last.” You said, shrugged as you looked back at Kamishiro who already ended the meeting.

Everyone—Zhuxin, Mei, Touya, and Xavier rose from their seats, followed by you. As others left, Kamishiro coughed. Which took your attention and Xiangli towards him. Hos thumb pointed back, showing to the back alley.

“So, [Name] and Xiangli.” Kamishiro leaned against the wall. “Since today is Xiangli’s first day at Paxxy, today. A corrupt commander under the fake name Li Yao. We haven’t known much information from him.” He sighed disappointed, Kamishiro tapped his watch. A small hologram projector appeared about “Li Yao” information.

Name : Li Yao[?]

Age : –

Nationality : Chinese

Height : 190 cm [6’2.8]

Weight : 76 kg [167 ibs]

ㅤㅤ> Information: A commander that had work for approximately 5 years. In his third year of work, “Li Yao” was secretly killing those who were lower then him. If his victims nor suspects tried to speak up, he’ll blackmail them. In his fourth year mark. He corrupted around 245000 Yuan [34015,97 USD] without consequences. There’s currently not much information about him…

ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤ→

ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤ ㅤto be continued~

The picture, which was suppose to be filled by “Li Yao”, was empty… filled by a blank male. Your gaze harden when you stare at the void profile. You groaned in frustration, while Xiangli was looking at the info board. As if he tried to study the very information.

“Unfortunately, we can’t find any detailed information about him,” Kamishiro sighed defeated as he rubbed his temple. “However, commander Li Yao’s ex-partner. Asked to assassinating him, he said, and I quote; This evening. Li Yao held a ceremony for the anniversary of him being a commander, in a mansion that’s privately his. I’ll give you the coordinates later, let me know.”

Xiangli placed his index and thumb over his chin. He then slammed his right hand, that’s in a fist to his left hand. As if he figured something. “I think I know where would this mansion be.”

Kamishiro raised an eyebrow. “Oh?”

“Li Yao may had many mansions. But I can take my guess that this mansion where we celebrate his anniversary is inside of the forest that’s far from the city.” Xiangli explained. His voice was surprisingly calm. “I had a feeling that this manor of his was the “haunted” house that people rumored to once became a place of murder.”

You and Kamishiro paused for a moment, he then added. “How so? Because once, my relative was hunting around the same forest and heard music right underground.”

“Are you sure that it’s not a made up story?” You countered. Xiangli shook his head as he pulled out his phone. “I have evidence.”

The light of Xiangli’s phone slowly shined inside of the empty alley, firstly, a video showed. It was a voice of a male in chinese that sounded faded, but there’s a sound like from 1980-an classic that echoed in the background. Xiangli than swipe right, showing foto, a window with a glimpse of a party. Even a picture of a man and woman making you.

“Gross…” You whimpered, Kamishiro rolled his eyes at you. He inspects the picture longer then he should, your boss slowly nodded approvingly.

“Wu Xiangli is responsible of this project—” “WHAT!?” Your voice practically echoed around the Paxxy’s office. Some staff looked at you with concerned. “Kamishi—Boss. Hey, I thought Zhuxin said that—”

You boss ignored you, well there’s no point of arguing with you. Kamishiro looked at Xiangli, his hand clasped over the younger male’s shoulder. “I assigned you to our project; Elimination LY. You, Xiangli. Will had long talk with [Name] about this project. If did something that’s out of the plan, let me know.”

“Now, get the plan ready.” Kamishiro walked out from the alley, Xiangli’s eyes widened as if he was tasked by god. You just groaned.

It's not like you can’t trust him completely. It’s more because he was new, and the most new members you’ve trained always confused about Kamishiro’s orders, even some still confused how to load a gun. But Xiangli seemed he can do all of those things with ease. Which made you suspicious.

“So, [Name]!! Are you ready to hear the plan?” Xiangli turned to you, the sudden calm and seriousness turned to childish. His hazel eyes sparkled with stars, you slightly caught of guard. But you nodded.

Inside of the empty Paxxy office, you and Xiangli was in front of the hologram projector, showing the “haunted” mansion Xiangli said. Along with the evidence from his phone, how he explained everything was absolutely beautiful. As if he was in a meeting with many important people. But really, he was only with you.

Though, he looked serious. He sometimes paused mid presentation, and smiled at you. It looked so innocent—you hated it. You tried to hide your reddened face but it was difficult by the fact he kept repeating that smile.

Xiangli’s presentation, to put it simply; he planned to use a bait for “Li Yao”, the bait being a specifically male and one executes the killing. He also found two pictures of males he theorized being “Li Yao”, first. A picture of an old man in his 50s and a male in his 30s. After all of that, you were the one telling Kamishiro.

“So. This is all of Xiangli’s plan?” Kamishiro asked, clutching the paper in his hands as he titled his head to look at Xiangli.

“Y–yes, Mr. Kamishiro,” Xiangli answered. “Do you have any suggestions?”

Kamishiro paused for a moment as he nodded his head thoughtfully. “So, your plan is to make a bait. Right?” Xiangli nodded, Kamishiro continued. “Well then, [Name] is the bait.”

You turned your head to Kamishiro, glaring at him. You were staring straight at his soul. But Kamishiro didn’t seemed to be amused, he slowly looked at Xiangli who covered his face with his right hand as he looked down. Both you and Kamishiro looked at him with a confused look.

“Something… wrong?” You broke the silence, Xiangli jolted for a second. His face was red. With what? “It couldn’t be that bad, right?”

“I’m going to fucking kill him…”

Who said that? Obviously, you did. You were seating on the back seat while Kamishiro was driving the car. Never in your life you’d imagine yourself wearing a stupid maid dress for a mission. You placed your hand over your face, honestly. You can refuse but you have corrupt people with a burning passion.

When you arrived at the mansion. It was like how Xiangli describe—it’s still looked like a haunted mansion. But you can hear a song echoed underneath you, the mansion was closed. You didn’t saw the glimpse of the picture however. Kamishiro already left, so you stood there confused—you slowly tapped the small ear comm on your ear.

“Xiangli, tell me the plan.” Your voice was low, you slowly take blind steps. The sound of your booths and the soft hums of creatures of the dark is the only thing company you.

Not long after, Xiangli’s voice came in. “Ah… 哥哥? Are you safe there?”

“Okay okay… so listen carefully; there’s an entrance right around—” “Found it.”

You effortlessly opened an entrance, that was literally in the back of the mansion. You looked around, when you sure everything was safe. You slowly opened the door. Everything seemed gloomy, but you found stairs that lead down. You asked Xiangli, he said with confidence it was where the ceremony is.

You pulled out a cloth from the pocket of your maid outfit, threw it to the stairs and wait. There’s no much signs of danger, so you slowly took some steps down, the sound of music slowly grew louder and louder. There was a door right on the end. You slowly traced over the wooden material, you knocked the door—unsure why. But the door slowly opened, your eyes widened at the sight you were seeing.

The room was big, maybe a wholeass soccer filed, many tables arranged beautifully, flowers, everything was perfect. There were many men in the room—well, obvious. You stood there, looking for a spot to at least, tried to had a convo with Xiangli later on. Your ear comm suddenly lose connection, you cursed under your breath as you walked almost into endless circles until you accidentally bumped with someone.

Your grunted and immediately backed off, you were about to apologize when the man turned his head—a smile formed between his lips.

“Oh, and who you might be?” His voice sounded calm, soft but there’s something under it that you can’t really take a finger on. “Welcome, I suppose you’re a maid here too. Please, I’m Fu Yuan just call me…”

��…Li Yao.”

You froze for a moment, your eyes widened, Li Ya—no, Fu Yuan. It’s rather surprising that you found him so early, usually it took for hours but you somehow able to find him within minutes. His face doesn’t really resembles any of thing that Xiangli showed. He looked like he was in his 20s. You and Fu Yuan also looked similar in age, but you didn’t asked much about it.

“Just call me by Raven.” You used your codename instead. Besides, using your actual name may bring suspicion. “For give me for my recklessness, commander Fu Yuan.”

Fu Yuan had hazel hair—neither from the lighting of that’s his actual hair with a white strain in his hair. His raven eyes met with yours, you actually paused for a moment when you finally noticed he was slightly taller than you. Maybe 181 cm.

“It’s nothing really,” Fu Yuan smiled. It almost too sweet, you tried to keep your guard. He looked at some of his partners, his hand slowly moved over your waist when you tried to find somewhere to communicate with Xiangli, he then dragged you closer. Continuing whatever he was talking about with his partners.

His grip was strong, it tried to squirm away from him. But you felt a hand moving inside of your maid dress, moving up your ass. You looked at Fu Yuan who didn’t seemed to be bothered by what he was doing—he squeezed your cheeks making you gasped.

Fucking asshole!

You flinched your hand into a fist, preparing to his Fu Yuan at his face. When the ear comm suddenly buzzed, you slightly leaned back so the voice couldn’t be heard. You heard sounds when you finally getting connection on the other side. Xiangli was grunting and sounds of men falling one my one. Even sounds of gunshots could be heard.

You heard another gunshot followed by another squeezed on your cheeks by Fu Yuan, you slowly moved the commander’s away when he drank a glass of wine. You walked to an empty corner, a buzz slowly came when you finally heard Xiangli’s voice. Well, more specifically. His pants.

“哥哥, any informations?” His voice sounded ragged. You can correct him, but you sighed as you looked back at Fu Yuan.

Glaring at his back before you finally replied. “Firstly, he was a fucking pervert. Touching someone’s ass without their consent. Secondly, this “Li Yao” is Fu Yuan.”

The side from Xiangli was a full-on silence. You nervously looked around, your eyes slowly met with Fu Yuan’s raven eyes. He smiled at you, you looked at him carefully.

Fuck, he was walking towards you.

Panic slowly filled your heart, when Xiangli was saying something you couldn’t really heard. You immediately turned off your ear comm.

[Xiangli’s POV…]

“哥哥? 哥哥!?” There’s nothing. He waited, and waited. But he didn’t get anything as a response. Xiangli sighed, kicking something as he cursed loudly.

What he was kicking exactly? Corpses, of course! The corpses he had killed that was Fu Yuan’s personal guards that was sent if there were some assassination attempts. He was surrounded by corpses of men, alone in the lower part of the mansion. He leaned into the wall that had crimson. Xiangli stepped on one of the dead bodies, he rested his right arm over his knee as he looked at the corpses. He then looked at the door in front of him, the door where he will met with you.

Xiangli couldn’t deny it that he worried about you. But your words filled his mind; “Firstly, he was a fucking pervert. Touching someone’s ass without their consent.” Fu Yuan harassed someone like you, someone Xiangli never thought he’d actually had feelings for. Born in a dark household and the only thing he knew was to kill to survive. And then he saw someone like you.

Better life… better home… better everything. He may not know much about, but he was willing to know anything for you.

…Guess you ruined the plan. But you don’t have any other choice.

Blood stained your maid outfit. Bodies of man—woman scattered around the room, you pointed your blade at Fu Yuan, who doesn’t seemed to be impressed in any sort of way. His face was all neutral, even though crimson stained his face. The tip of your blade shined thanks to the chandelier.

“Fu Yuan, you. Already did many things that were unforgivable,” your voice went cold—nothing of your usual tone was there. “You’ve killed innocents, blackmailed people… many others.”

You slowly lowered your blade. “But never in my life, I thought you’d touch people without their consent. That’s fucking harassment.”

Your eyes locked with Fu Yuan, moments of silence—he laugh. He fucking laughed. “Ah, Raven… or should I say, [Name]. What’s the problem?”

You clutched your blade, he walked forward. Pulling out his own blade. “Working for Paxxy don’t you? Such pointless organization. It doesn’t matter what you do, the law is blind money was enough for everything. What do they desire? Money! Humanity wanted nothing but cash, [Name].”

Fu Yuan leaned forward, his blade slowly clashed with yours. The steal rubbing against each other, echoing the empty room. “And I happened to had a lot of them.”

You counter Fu Yuan’s attack, immediately. Your eyes aim at his neck, You slide back, Fu Yuan strike his blade. Your eyes widened, even after you counter his attack once more, blood slowly tickled your cheek, crimson fall on the golden floors. The sound of blades clashing to another—slashes was like a song in the mansion.

Even if you had a lot of experience fighting, you found yourself being cornered by Fu Yuan. Some parts of your maid outfit was cut by Fu Yuan’s unforgiving attacks. Blood slowly came from your mouth, you kneel down as you grabbed your chest. Desperately trying to keep yourself together. Fu Yuan was right in front of you, you gulped. Guess this was your faith—

—Bang!

A bullet came in and left Fu Yuan his own blooded cheek, you look to find Xiangli Yao pointing at his gun with a stoic face. Fuck, he looks handsome even with a stoic face—

Since Fu Yuan was off guard, you immediately used your leg to hit Fu Yuan’s, his eyes widened as he stumbled back. You stood up, immediately, you used your elbow and send a blow straight to Fu Yuan’s face. Blood slowly poured in his nose, Xiangli wasn’t silent neither, he used his leg to made the commander tripped backwards, he fisted his hang and give him a punch on the face.

Xiangli’s hazel eyes looked down to Fu Yuan’s raven eyes. Xiangli haven’t said anything—but you already come in. Ending that commander with your blade, stabbing his stomach repeatedly. Fu Yuan’s screams slowly—immediately went quiet. Xiangli just looked at you, eyes widened. He didn’t expect to see someone higher then him—wearing a maid dress but somehow. He still able to show his colors.

Brutal and handsome.

You’d probably didn’t stop when Xiangli pulled you back, his hands gripping your arms. Your maid dress was stained by more crimson, your blade was stuck on Fu Yuan’s body. Your eyes met with Xiangli’s, he was the now staring. Not in a scared way, but more in a way in love.

“…Sorry.” You broke to silence, a sigh running from your lips.

Xiangli raised an eyebrow. “What for?”

You sighed, sitting on top of the dead commander. “For ruined the plan,” you said calmly. “Seriously. This bitch was touching me, what are you expecting me to do? Sit down and let him?”

Xiangli chuckled, shaking his head amusingly. “Sorry for that… [Name]. But I saved you, right?”

“Absolutely.”

“Shouldn’t I get a little reward then?” Xiangli kneeled down in front of you, his eyes glamping with mischief.

If Xiangli was a stranger or even worst, Fu Yuan. You’d cringed and probably killed him.

“Does it hurt?” Xiangli rested his head over your shoulder. You slightly squirmed in his lap, you felt a finger inserted to your hole.

Xiangli’s fingers were thick, his fingers may not be the longest, but it was enough to stretch your hole wide. A whimper escaped your lips as he slammed this middle and ring finger, your hands gripped his suit that smelled like metallic from the blood and a strong smell that you assumed was his perfume.

“[Name]…” Xiangli whispered against your ear, you shivered as he thrust his fingers deeper, making you whimpered. His free hand slowly moving to your cock was already leaked out pre-cums. “I need an answer, please?”

“Xiangli… fuck—!” You lolled your head back, your hands gripping Xiangli’s suit harder when moans finally escaped your lips. Both of the sensation of his fingers and hand working together, you panted. But the moment Xiangli’s middle finger rubbed your prostate, you swore you see stars.

…Not until the door where you entered the first you came to the mansion.

Kamishiro, and five other people wearing black suits froze all at once when they saw you. Your lower half naked and sitting on Xiangli’s lap, it was clear what he was doing to you. Those people behind Kamishiro, some covered their eyes, and the other ran out and groaned.

“Xiangli, what is this—” “I thought I may not be able to saved you… so I call for backup. Guess they’re late.” Xiangli whispered, shrugging like it wasn’t a big of a deal. Kamishiro slapped himself seeing both of you.

Never again, you’ll accept Xiangli’s “requests” during missions.

[reddthekingg]

Turns out I don't CARE. Have my big-ass Byler post:

Mike and El were never romantic. Let me explain. (Seasons 1-4)

Big Byler-centric Mike/eleven analysis from my slightly media literate ass.

(disclaimer: this is all just my opinion!!!!! you dont have to agree with me at all, and if you have any suggestions/edits or points you think are wrong for X Y Z reasons, tell me in the comments!!!! I like hearing other peoples views on things :D also my apologies if this doesnt read well, ive been sitting on it for a couple weeks now so ive been writing in little blips every once in awhile)

Season 1

From the beginning, Mike had pressures to be with El. He never began to exhibit romantic behaviours towards her until after Lucas suggested he has feelings for her. He only kisses her after Nancy assumes he has a crush on her.

Children, especially at such a young age, are impressionable. This applies to both Mike and El.

Mike is being told by multiple people in his life to pursue a romantic relationship with a girl he met only a week or so prior. A girl, mind you, he only wants to keep around when she proves herself useful to him when searching for Will. Correct me if I'm wrong but I'm pretty sure Mike calls her a machine at one point. Doesn't exactly seem like the basis for a crush, does it?

As for El, she's just escaped the lab she was raised in and has met the first people ever outside of that environment (excluding Benny, of course). I don't like comparing El to an animal, but she's reminiscent of a baby duck. Baby ducks imprint on the first people they see. For her, it's Mike. El does not have the same pressures from everyone else to be romantic with Mike, in fact she's quite ready to be his sister, as she so states. The only pressure of romance she gets is from Mike himself with the kiss.

There is one whole scene before they kiss that implies a bit of romance where there in a bathroom together and Mike says she's still pretty without hair + makeup. However, neither party really seems interested in it.

(Little thing to note about this scene! The use of the word pretty. It can be argued that Mike meant it romantically, but I'd say otherwise. In Stranger Things, specific words have meaning and we're told that they do. Think about the word crazy. Through lines in the show and posts from people who have worked on it, we know that crazy = love. Where am I going with this?

El calls Billy's mother pretty. Correct me if I'm wrong, but the word pretty hasn't been used anywhere else other than here and with El and Mike. We can safely assume El doesn't have feelings for Billy's mother, so if the assumption that crazy = love, can we assume that pretty does not have romantic connotations? Maybe it's a reach but I thought it was worth pointing out.)

All of this to say, in Season 1, their "relationship", and I use that word sparingly, is built off of pressures from Nancy and Lucas on Mike's side, and El assuming that's just what happens since it's what's happening to her. This is on top of the trauma bond El and Mike have.

Season 2

I think what solidified their decision was El going into the Upside Down. If all was well and El didn't have to leave the group and Season 1 was the whole story, I think their relationship would have played out very differently. Think about "absence makes the heart grow fonder" and all that bollocks. I think that because of the year apart and how much they missed one another, they became closer for it and mistook it for a romantic longing. That leads to their reunion in Season 2.

However, think about it. Typically with romantic couples in media and all it's different forms, when reunited after a long time being apart, they normally share a kiss? Or... at least just seem romantic?

Look, maybe it's just me, but this doesn't read as romantic.

Obviously, the two are bonded together, so the scene is emotional. I don't like when a lot of Bylers imply that Mike doesn't care about El at all, because he clearly does. The two have an incredibly strong bond due to trauma and just trusting one another. Doesn't mean it's romantic.

Then the Snow Ball. Not much to say on the matter because, yeah, I definitely think there is analysis to be done on it, but personally, this is a scene I don't have an explanation for. Other than Mike pining yearning and longing for Will.

(Very quick and not important thing to note. I started reading Darkness on the Edge of Town, Hopper's book, and it's set right after the Snow Ball, after Christmas, and I noticed something.

''You manage to raise Mike yet?'' El sighed ... He watched as she headed back to the couch and picked up the hefty rectangle of her new walkie-talkie, holding it out to him, like he could somehow conjure up her friends out of thin air.

Just thought it was interesting how Hopper mentioned Mike and then went on to say El's friends, considering this was after the Snow Ball and after their kiss.)

Fast forward to:

Season 3

In terms of El, this is where my view point of her romantic feelings becomes more disprovable, but I'm going to push forward anyway.

In the story now, everything is normal. No more monsters, the gate is closed, all is well and our kids can go back to being normal kids. Enter Mike Wheeler and El Hopper making out. Actually the most uncomfortable scenes to watch in the whole show. Let me talk about why it's happening.

Mike and Eleven, up until now, have not had your usual relationship. They've been seperate, battling monsters and have not had a moments peace since meeting. My opinion on why they're so close at the start of this season is because it's expected, same as most things about their relationship.

I know I sound like a broken record using that excuse for the majority of aspects about their relationship, but I'm doing it because the majority of aspects about their relationship can be explained with that reasoning.

For Mike, his attempt at living up to the expectations set for him is a lot easier to think about in terms of why he's doing it.

He was raised in your typical nuclear household, a mother and a father and 2 sisters. Think about the time period. The AIDs crisis was at a peak, there was a massive stigma around it all. I've spoken to my mum before about it all (she would've been the same age as the main 4 ST kids during that time) and she explained that there was this huge fear around AIDs. Being openly queer was not the norm, nor was it socially acceptable, nearly completely frowned upon. Films, TV and books portrayed romances about men and women and nothing else. Think about a young boy who has even the inkling that he might be gay. Everything at the time presented to this hypothetical boy tells him that he is wrong. Think about Will, his own father calling him slurs because he's not like every other boy.

Taking the assumption that Mike is in fact gay rather than bi or straight and placing him in the position of said hypothetical boy, what do you think the outcome would be? Because despite what some Milevens will say, it is not that Mike would accept himself fully and never would have dated El in the first place. It leaves us with a boy who is forced into a life of lying to himself and others, making moves to conceal his true identity in hopes of fooling other people and most importantly, fooling himself.

I am a firm believer that Mike suffers from compulsory heterosexuality, or comphet.

''Compulsory heterosexuality, often shortened to comphet, is the theory that heterosexuality is assumed and enforced upon people by a patriarchal, allonormative, and heteronormative society.''

I completely disagree when people say Mike used El as his beard (a person who is used, knowingly or unknowingly, as a date, romantic partner [boyfriend or girlfriend], or spouse either to conceal infidelity or to conceal one's sexual orientation) from day one. I believe that, while it may not be true, both parties did believe they shared romantic feelings for the other, because it was expected of them that they did. Mike, his whole life, saw his parents, kids at school, people in shows, games, everywhere, be a boy and a girl in love. And he met a girl. So, logically, he should like her. Right? But he doesn't. And because he's never had any past experiences, he can't tell the difference between romantic and platonic attraction. All he knows is what he's ''supposed to do.''

El is a bit easier to explain.

Think about the baby duck analogy from earlier. Mike is the first (technically second after Benny but shhhh) person out-with the lab to show her kindness. She has bonded to him, and Mike initiated a kiss between them. Romance is, obviously, not something she's ever dealt with in her life. It is a concept entirely foreign to her and it continues to be after her and Mike separate. So think, once she gets to Hopper's in Season 2, what is the only thing she has to entertain herself?

Television.

It can be pretty safely assumed she watched her fair share of trashy teen romcom movies as well as dramatic romance movies, all pieces of media that showed her the ''traditional'' route that a girl and a boy will take in their romantic journey. At this point, her and Mike have kissed, so in watching these movies, they teach her brain what are the ''natural next steps'' for her and Mike.

I don't think I'm explaining my point well, so if you need further clarification, let me know. It's difficult to explain but it's generally the same logic I applied to Mike (assuming he is, in fact, gay). His whole childhood, he see's boys and girls being in love and assumes thats what he should be doing. It's similar for El. She sees couples in love and being happy and assumes thats what her and Mike should be doing.

When you apply all this to Season 3, things become a little bit clearer in why they're so (uncomfortably) close. Their whole ''relationship'' was taken up with saving the world or saving each other and other people, this is the first time things are normal and they're expected to be, well... normal.

This really applies to the whole season. There are only 2 more key Mileven moments I want to touch on from this season which means I'll be excluding the rain fight. I'm doing this because while obviously the scene offers a huge insight into Mike's character, the focus this post is specifically around his and El's feelings about each other, so I want to focus on scenes in which they're together.

Now:

Oh boy! I'd like to point out 2 major points here.

One, just because Mike loves El, which I do not doubt at all, no where does he or the show specify that in this scene he meant it romantically.

Two, who are the only other couple that said the L-word?

Yeah.

Not only were Stancy the only other couple to say ''I love you'' to one another, they're the only other couple to use said ''I love you'' as a driving force in their relationship ark. And that driving force drove their relationship... into the ground!

We have multiple canonical couples in the show that have never uttered the L-word to each other but we have scenes between those pairs that leave no room for doubt about how they feel.

Just saying, it's interesting that arguably the biggest couple of the show are paralleled to one of the weakest and worst couples in the show. Meanwhile Mike and Will have parallels with Jonathan and Nancy, a couple which value one another and work better than Stancy could have ever hoped.

My last analysis about Season 3 is one of my favourite in terms of Mike.

El tells mike she loves him, and kisses him.

I'm sure every Byler has heard this scene been picked to pieces about Mike, so I'll keep it brief.

Mike has his eyes open, and as another user pointed out (I can't remember who, sorry!!), seems to be pulling away from the kiss, he is very clearly not kissing her back, and just seems... confused and disinterested. All great signs that he absolutely loves his girlfriend back, right? ...right?

As for El, cast your minds back to what I said before about her watching cheesy romcom movies. What is the most common trope in almost all romance movies? The big love confession. El knows Mike loves her (romantically or not is to be debated, I made my side clear) and her primary source of knowledge of what happens in relationships is through what she sees in movies and television, which in my mind is what lead her to give Mike this grand declaration of love (well, not grand, but you get the gist). In her mind, it is what's expected.

El is creating a relationship out of idealistic movies and (saying this very bluntly) has not stopped to consider if it's something she actually wants rather than what she thinks she wants. Obviously, I'm assuming a lot with that statement, but the evidence to back it up does exist.

Max is a wonderful influence on El during Season 3, teaching her to think for herself and be someone that she wants to be. And what is one of the first big decisions El makes during this journey? To break up with Mike. I'll concede in the fact that, yes, the breakup was influenced by Max's advice, but it's a decision El made herself, even if she ended up going back on it.

Time for Mike's gayest season of all!

Season 4

(I'm going to concede slightly here, I don't really know how to explain most of El's feelings here. So, this section is going to be centred around Mike's feelings towards El. Please drop some El analysis in my asks/DMs/comments to include and I'll make sure to credit you in the post!)

The season begins with a letter from El to Mike and we see him reading it. When called upon by Nancy, Mike crumples up El's letter and throws it to the ground. Compare this to all the letters Mike has sent El, kept away in a box. He's careless with her love, as it were. There's definitely more to be said here, but I'm more knowledgable with the rest of the season, so I'll focus on that.

Let's fast forward a bit to the airport scene.

We see Mike in unusual attire. Colours his character has never worn before in a style he's never been dressed in. Red flag number one. The two share the only kiss they have for the whole season and embrace, with Mike holding a bundle of flowers for El. She looks at the tag attached to said flowers, see's Mike writes from rather than love, and the camera focuses on her face while she falters.

There's a couple things to analyse here, so let's start with Mike's outfit.

One of El's primary colours in the show is purple, confirmed later on by Mike when he mentions he picked purple flowers since it's her favourite colour. This shows us the colour of Mike's shirt is intentionally supposed to reflect El, especially since he has never worn this colour before. Interesting to note that it's a t-shirt he's wearing, since Mike's wardrobe is composed of button downs, sweaters and polo shirt primarily. Correct me if I'm wrong, but this is the first time we've seen him in anything other than that.

Argyle points out later in the scene that Mike's shirt is a ''shitty knock-off.''

In a GQ interview with Stranger Thing's costume designer, we're told the following about Mike's costume in Season 4:

''So Mike Wheeler's outfit was written into the script that way... So we knew we'd wanted something that felt like an outfit maybe he would've bought at the airport before he got there... It's not a colour Mike normally wears.. We had made two colourways. We made orange and teal, and he's worn teal before, so it felt orange was the best colour that was different that felt he was trying to make it work in California.''

This is really interesting! There's another interview moment which ties in with this which I can't find at the moment so I can't quote it word for word, but I believe Finn says something along the lines of Mike acting unlike himself this season.

The costume choices in this scene are meant to reflect Mike's feelings.

When in California, more specifically when in this outfit, Mike is not acting like himself. He is trying to make things work by changing himself to be more attuned to what El wants, and more importantly, putting on a persona, arguably a heterosexual persona. Mike, of course, is not alone in the fact he's acting like someone else, because El is doing the same.

By choosing to omit the bullying and struggles she experiencing in Lenora, going so far as to outright lie to Mike by telling him Angela and Stacy are her friends, El is trying to act like the ''perfect girlfriend'' for Mike. She is presenting herself as happy, that her life is wonderful in all it's facets, in the hopes that Mike will finally begin expressing his love to her if she's good enough (I know that analysis does diminish El a bit, but it is my personal opinion on why she's acting the way she is.), as well as wanting to be the picture-perfect couple she wants them to be perceived as.

Of course, this vision shatters at Rink-O-Mania when El shmacks Angela in the face with a roller-skate. It's from this point on that their relationship falls downhill over the course of the whole season.

After they get home and everyone is eating dinner, Jonathan and Argyle speak about how Angela will be fine. Mike's reply is ''She didn't look fine'', and El storms off from the table. This scene is a parallel to one between Karen and Ted in Season 1(?) in which Karen storms off and Ted takes a sip of his drink, and Mike and El do the exact same.

Curious to parallel the shows ''leading couple'' with a failing marriage.

Then, we have Mike and El's big fight.

The fight starts on the basis of Mike mentioning the night before with Angela.

Mike knows that El has been lying to him for a long time about her life in Lenora and has seen first hand how she's been treated. He's upset and confused and El is shutting him off.

And... that's all I got done. I'll probably revisit this post in the future when I have time, but dear god, I have a lot of coursework right now, so now is not the time.

[bejeweledinterludes]

❝ are you in the mafia? ❞

❝ … am i in the what? ❞

「 pairing 」 : dean winchester x mafia ! reader

「 word count 」 : 1.3 k

「 content / warnings 」 : mob/mafia, incorrect mafia lore that i tweaked because i said it was okay to, canon-compliant violence, mentions of death, swearing

you have one ( 1 ) new message from the author ! ↓

HEYYY this was a request from @hpxmcusworld! i did end up making the reader gender neutral, i hope that’s okay— and that you enjoy, because this was really fun to write! thank you so so much for requesting and your kind words! <3

my masterlist

disclaimer: reminder that these are works of fiction. i do not support the real-life mafia / mob. read more here.

𖤐 ────────────────────────

this was so cool stupid.

that was the only thing going through dean winchester’s mind as he and sam knocked on the door of a very much too-big and not at all cool as shit house— because who in god’s name needed six garages with some fuckin’ awesome vintage cars? and a damn fountain in the driveway?

rich and pompous assholes.

that’s who.

“this ‘s so stupid,” dean echoes his half-thoughts out loud in a low mutter— throwing in an eyeroll before adjusting the tie of his fed threads.

sam squinted his eyes at his brother’s sheer reluctance to get through one single day without complaining— but before he could even say anything, a maid opened the door, looking between the both of them.

“can i help you gentlemen?” she asks, standing up a little straighter when she notices the suits.

“fbi, ma’am,” dean nods matter-of-factly as he flashes his badge, sam following suit. “need to speak to the owner of this house. it’s about the murder three days ago. it’s urgent.”

damn right, it was urgent. children were dropping like flies left and right in chicago— dying with no warning and decomposing almost immediately.

they needed answers.

so sam’s extensive research and cross-referencing police records had brought them to here— to the gigantic hand-carved wood front door of one of the families that currently ran the chicago mob.

(it also helped that one of the kids that died had been from this family, too— but sam enjoys click-clacking around on the computer.)

“oh, yes, of course,” the maid immediately recognized who they were talking about— why these definitely real fbi agents were here. “come in, please. i’ll notify of your presence.”

dean fights the urge to get excited roll his eyes.

again.

. • . ° .• °:. *₊ ° . 𖤐

“sorry to keep you waiting,” your voice rings out— one that sounded like you weren’t really sorry at all.

both dean and sam’s heads perk up to look at you, the supposed owner of the house entering what the maid called the ‘sitting room’.

which was actually pretty sick, because it totally felt like a mafia movie. you sat down in the matching lavish sofa across from them. you nodded once to the maid, who excused herself scurried off immediately. dean was reminded of a scene from goodfellas, one of his favorite movies that was similar.

which wasn’t cool at all.

“you look a little young to own a house this big,” dean bluntly remarks before thinking twice— and received a ‘dude’ look from sam.

they weren’t wrong. you appeared to be the same age as dean and sam, give or take a few years— and unmistakably attractive. though, you always thought the old architecture and style of the house made you look better.

“well, technically, it’s not exactly mine— yet,” you clarify, crossing a leg over the other as you eye the two men. “but it will be someday. i’m the next best thing right now. my father’s… handling business elsewhere.”

immediately you noticed the fact that they were not like any usual stick-up-the-ass dickwads that usually were oh so graciously in your presence— they seemed… pretty close to normal, actually.

“right,” sam interjects before dean could make some other comment that would end up with them back at square one. “anyways, we’re here because of—”

“my brother,” you interrupt sam, your eyes still flicking between them— and a slight smile on your face. “but, then again, you aren’t actually real agents, now are you?”

both dean and sam look at each other at that, a slight tremor of panic passing through each of them. dean speaks up this time—

“we—”

“are hunters,” you finish, titling your head a little as you look between them. “see, i do my research, too— or rather, my people do. you’re dean. that’s sam. you’re brothers, and you hunt monsters for a living.”

both dean and sam had whatever words they were going to say taken away from them when you dropped that bomb— they were used to having to tiptoe around that subject.

“well, it really is a good thing you’re here,” you continue without a beat, leaning back against the couch again, “i’m used to monsters being… y’know, people.”

dean and sam had finally relaxed a little after the initial shock wore off— and dean was starting to realize you weren’t what he expected. and maybe this wasn’t as stupid as he thought.

it was kinda like a godfather movie, if he was being honest.

and dean loved the godfather.

“you don’t seem like a complete…” dean trails off. in this line of work, it was rare to encounter someone with a good head on their shoulders, especially if they were filthy rich— but then again, he was glad he didn’t have to babysit.

“asshole?” you finish once again, raising your eyebrows, your smile ticking up higher. “yeah, it skips a generation. so, what’s the plan?”

“the plan?” sam echoes, both he and dean scoff a little, glancing between each other and you.

“yes, the plan,” you exaggerate the last word as sam did. “firstly, how many soldiers do you need?”

“soldiers?” both dean and sam echo you this time, their expressions mixed with shock and bewilderment.

“are you going to repeat everything i say?” you shake your head a little, uncrossing your legs and reaching to pour yourself a glass of whiskey with the crystal bottle. “yes, soldiers. i’m sure you’ve heard of la cosa nostra.”

oh, shit. la cosa nostra. dean’s heard the stories from the times he’s been through illinois— it was the ruthless mafia army composed soldiers from all 5 crime families that ran chicago. the mafia’s dean looked between you and his brother— and his eyes were a little less shocked. more… excited?

“you can— you have soldiers? that would help… us?” sam is the first to speak, considering dean was a little too… preoccupied about how cool this was actually was.

“well, they’ll do anything i say, so, yes,” you smoothly lean back against the couch again, re-crossing your legs. “they’ll be at your service, if you require it.”

“cool,” dean finally speaks, a slight smile turning on the corner of his mouth.

sam snaps his head to his brother, suppressing a slight eyeroll before talking to you again. “well, we don’t really know what we’re up against, but—”

“my resources will be yours,” you interrupt, placing your crystal glass of whiskey down. “anything you need, just ask.”

“really?” dean tilts his head, smile getting a little wider. “anything?”

“anything.” it was your turn to echo as you glance between them, talking a little quieter. “my brother didn’t… deserve to die the way he did. he was just a kid.”

“and we are sorry that happened,” sam attempts to revert the conversation back to the case, and not dean’s awestruck demeanor. “we can’t imagine.”

“we’re gonna figure out whatever this is, and make sure it never happens again,” dean snaps out of it for after a second— because he could imagine what it was like to lose a younger brother. he actually has before. “we’ll get the sonofabitch— y’know, make him swim with the fishes.”

that makes you smile— actually, genuinely smile. for the first time since your brother had died a week ago.

“i have no doubts,” you nod, uncrossing your legs once more, standing up and already starting deeper into the house as you talk. “now, let me show you the weapons hall. you boys might be able to use a couple things.”

“the weapons hall? dude,” dean almost jumps up from the couch, slapping sam on the shoulder— to which raises an eyebrow, shaking his head. the facade dean always put up when he was trying not to get excited was almost gone, if not completely. “c’mon, get movin’ sammy!”

okay, dean supposed, maybe working with the mafia would be cooler than he initially first thought. because this was kinda cool. you were kinda cool.

mostly the mafia part, though. not necessarily because he thought you were super awesome or anything.

at least, that’s what dean was telling himself.

───────────────────────── 𖤐

my master taglist (so far): @blossomingorchids @bluemerakis @ambiguous-avery @maddie0101 @titsout4jackles @deansbeer @sunsbaby @emeraldcrs @h8aaz @honeyryewhiskey @supernotnatural2005 @cowboysandcigarettes @soldiersgirl @figthoughts @mostlymarvelgirl @amaris444 @kaz-2y5-spn @littlesoulshine @starzify @velvetparkerx @eggggggggggggggggggggsblog @fuckedupfate @liiiilsss @angelblqde + i missed anyone OR if you want to be added/taken off, please just comment / send an ask! <3

[batmanisagatewaydrug]

Hi, I hope this is an okay question to ask. I am s l o w l y exploring and learning what kinds of kinks I like. I’m drawn to taboo kinks and I’m really curious about ageplay, but I’m worried that if I open the door to letting that be hot, I’m going to start seeing actual kids as hot. Obviously that doesn’t mean I would do anything about it, but I’m still not sure I want that in my head. Is there any truth in this fear? Could that happen?

well much in the same way that the majority of pup players aren't trying to hump real labradors on the street, D&D players generally aren't running around pulling swords on random shopkeepers, and my years doing Warriors Cats rp online never made me want to live in the woods pissing in the dirt and eating mice, I suspect that what you're attracted to is the safety of fantasy and play rather than the actual, literal thing. pretty big line between those two things, actually, and most people are pretty clear on the difference between stuff that's made up and harmless and stuff that's really really bad. I use this example often, but I assure you that my abiding love of Batman using his billions of dollars to dick around doing lawless bullshit has not softened my feelings on Elon Musk in the slightest.

I assume that, like most well-adjusted adults, you aren't attracted to children. what you're into is, presumably, adults acting in ways that are characterized as immature, carefree, cutesy, helpless, bratty, etc, and the dynamic of those playacting adults might have with others who take the role of their caregivers. that is... so, so, so far removed from being attracted to an actual human child. I don't know if you've ever actually, like, hung out with kids, but they're pretty different than adults. I mean obviously they're little humans who have their own opinions and ideas and personalities and have a right to autonomy and making their own decisions as much as is safely possible, but they are REALLY different from age appropriate, sexually compatible adults. someone doing ageplay is, like, a million miles from an actual kid.

it's kind of like how when Riverdale was on I'd see gifs of that insane redheaded lesbian and go "yeah, she's hot." like, sure, the character's a teenager, but that actress is an adult woman who's only two years younger than me and we all know that. the idea of fucking an actual teenager is vile. even if I were to see someone and have an initial aesthetic appreciation, the second they open their mouth and start saying 17 year old things the attraction is gone because I've realized that's a child.

(no offense to the teens in the room! you're great and I'm sure your 17 year old stuff is really important to you! but adults should not want to fuck you, is the point.)

so what I'm saying is: seems unlikely!

also, okay. let's assume the absolute worst case scenario happens and you experience a twinge of sexual interest towards a child. that's understandably alarming; that's not an urge most people want to harbor within themselves. that may require some dialing back from ageplay, or a chat with a kink-friendly mental health professional, or seeking out some community and advice from others in your kink scene who may have struggled with something similar. but please, give yourself some credit: you have some shred of impulse control within your body, yes? you're not going to make the leap from having a thought to being an active child predator in one fell swoop. the choice to harm a child, or to seek out pornographic material of child sexual abuse, are still choices that you would have to actually make. and it's making those choices to do harm that actually make child abusers a danger, not just having thoughts. having a thought all by itself doesn't hurt anyone; it's the way you act on it that has the potential to cause harm.

but again, I want to emphasize, sexual behavior is by and large a pretty easy wire not to get crossed with other things. please note the brave billions of people who manage to get through every day without groping their colleagues and random strangers because they understand it's not the appropriate time, place, or partner!

[arcane-ish]

So... is this canon? The "Lanes carved from bedrock" theory

There is this fic by @out-there-tmblr called Brush Off All The Dirt about a the backstory of Silco and Vander meeting as young men in the mines.

There's also the big fat Zaun timeline/chronology meta by @sorceressofthesky

They basically propose the following sequence of events of what exactly might have been the backstory of Silco and Vander and the Lanes as Young Men: namely that they built the Lanes up from scratch.

Let's look at the hints.

1.) Silco, Vander and Cassandra Kiraman are roughly the same age range.

2.) The voice on the recording we assume to be Cassandra. Technically we don't know that for sure I think? 2x01 definitely starts with Cassandra talking because she is talking directly to Caityln

"I know you doubt the merit of your birthright, Caitlyn. There's wisdom in that. But remember: You're a Kiramman."

The voice on the recording picks up directly there with

"But remember: You're a Kiramman."

However it is distorted, in theory this could be ie Cassandra's mother talking to Cassandra and just using the same phrasing. That said, my subtitle thing notes Cassandra for that line.

"The rise of industry in the fissures has led to the air becoming increasingly toxic. They call it the Grey. I've instructed our architects to devise a ventilation system."

So Cassandra as a young woman installed the ventilation system. In the picture where the ventilation system is being opened, she is posing with miners who wear gas masks.

3.) When we see the flashbacks of Vander, neither he, nor Silco, not Connel and Felicia wear gas masks, which suggests the conditions were better for them than during the time when Cassandra was posing. So either Vander and Silco became miners after the changes Cassandra made or were around to see it happen. [note another theory, that shows up in the fanfic, is that those people next to Cassandra might be Piltover engineers who get better gear than the normal miners, following the idea that Pilties need masks and Zaunites are just used to the air, but it still never sat right with me that Felicia would raise her children without protection if there were alternatives; I also think the miner gear just looks pretty similar from the drawing to the flashback]

4.) When Felicai talks to Silco and Vander she says "Tonight a harebrained scheme these two bozos cooked up to turn a dank crack in the earth into a thriving, healthy community became a reality." and later "You two are gonna figure this Zaun thing out. I don't care if you have to carve it out of the bedrock, covered in blisters. You're not allowed to fail anymore."

(that line alone is interesting. Does "you are not allowed to fail anymore" imply they have failed before? there's also the line from Silco to Vander "we both know topside won't listen to anything else.")

5.) In season 1 Vander is protective of the Lanes specifically ("Spare the Lanes"). While Silco wants freedom for all of the undercity.

6.) It gives Vander and Silco something to do between Felicia announcing her pregnancy and the bridge fight. Felicia's words suggest that they have already achieved a lot, the Last Drop is already fully there and looking good. And yet it's several years between Vi being a zygote and Vi being a young kid in the opening scene (I would expect her to be at least 5/6). Time for Vi to have a relative safe happy idyllic childhood as per the Remember Me video. And Silco throwing a molotov and looking scared overall seems like a still fairly innocent reaction, suggesting that there wasn't that much all out open war before the Bridge fight (again matching the rosy, peaceful depiction in the Remember Me video). If Silco and Vander were mostly busy building up their community that would explain why Vi had a very happy childhood rather than being born into turmoil or being raised in the middle of a civil war.

So the solution that for example that fanfic proposes is:

there was an area that was unusable due to Gray

after the ventilation system was installed it tentatively became livable

Vander, Silco, Felicia and Connel started to use their mining knowledge to carve out new areas that new people could live in and built a thriving community

that community's economy was heavily based around on smuggling (as per the statements of Amanda, who also says Vander and Silco created the "market" respectively market area).

it would explain why Felicia is still working as a miner when her kids are small rather than let's say working for Vander at the bar. They are not working for rich mine owners, they are doing their own thing and working for something they believe in.

It seems like it was always a vision of the writers that Vander and Silco "built the Lanes" in whatever form. And season 2 could have brought in the additional backstory of Cassandra making it possible thought her air systems and Felicia being one of the miners who helped.

Now personally, I strongly think that "it does not matter what headcanon the writers have, if they didn't put it on screen it does not count" (ie like Amanda saying Viktor bullshitted his way into the academy or that he helped Sky get a spot there). But it's still interesting to ponder what exactly the writers were envisioning.

Personally, i always like the idea more of Silco and Vander as dashing robbers in their youth, more in the style of "this is exactly the sort of job Vander would've pulled when he was our age."

But I'm willing to wrap my head around alternative takes. I think there is some appeal to the idea that there was something that Vander and Silco built up as young men, something that was their baby and Vander stayed attached to it. That they "built the Lanes" together. And they clashed, because Silco wanted to expand beyond that ("You had my respect. The Lanes' respect, but that… that was never enough for you.").

That said, I'm not super enthralled by it and I'm trying to formulate why. For one it seems kind of less dashing than fun robbers and revolutionaries. Again there's some appeal of actually building something. But "let's build an underground town" ...

1.) it just seems kind of small as a dream compared to

2.) it seems kind of close to what Ekko is doing (don't like how things are being run, build your own community, except with less pretty trees and hoverboards).

3.) It feels kind of like a very American sort of dream? Grab a piece of wild land, tame it, built a thriving merchant town on it.

Again, I don't completely hate it (and I really enjoy that fanfic that goes into the weeds of Silco and Vander figuring out the starting logistics). But overall, I'm glad they left it vague enough so I'm free to imagine it more as Silco and Vander organizing heroic miner strikes for better working conditions or being gangsters who work their way up.

[vickiee-mcmuffin]

Jealous

Word count: 3k

Pairing: Stephen Strange x Female Reader

Trope: Explicit smut, Age gap (18+ Warning, Minors DNI)

Summary: You see Stephen's jealous side come out after he sees some guy talking to you at an event.

A/N: I don't even remember this being one of my older fics... but I found it buried deep in my Google Docs last night. I think this was one of my first-ever fics, but I honestly don't remember.

You and Stephen didn’t have a conventional relationship. Not in a romantic way, at least. You were his student. You trained together. Talked. Got along most of the time. And you also slept with him... A lot. You were fucking each other on the regular and not a single person back at Kamar Taj knew about it – which worked out well for the both of you. You both had fun together with no strings attached. You didn’t have to talk about your past, about your days – sometimes you didn’t even ask how he was feeling. But that’s how it was between you two. You just had sex. That was it.

Which was why you and Stephen didn’t walk hand in hand to the event you were both invited to. You weren’t his girlfriend. So why would you be his date? Especially when he hardly ever showed up to events. But he was at this one – looking as handsome as ever in his Armani suit. And you were feeling wildly confident in your red dress and high heels and perfectly applied makeup. You had arrived at the same time, the both of you pushing your way through the crowd as you made your way to the entrance.

“The place is pretty packed,” he mumbled into your ear.

You nodded. “It’s so busy.”

You kept silent as you made your way inside, doing your best to avoid the large crowd of people. Your sharp heels clicked on the ground as you moved up the stairs, finally getting inside the venue. Music was blasting and people were talking and you could barely focus on your thoughts. But Stephen dragged you over to a secluded corner where you could both get settled.

“Would you like a drink?” you asked Stephen.

He took a seat and smiled at you. “Yeah. Please.”

You spun on your heels, searching for the bar. The second you left, you saw a rather large group of people surrounding Stephen. You shrugged at the scene and kept walking to the bar where you grabbed Stephen and yourself a drink. But then you heard someone clear their throat behind you. When you turned back around you were greeted by a man with a glint in his eyes. He looked to be around your age.

“Hi,” he smiled at you.”

“Um, hey,” you returned, still not sure who he was.

“Do you mind if I buy those drinks for you?” he nodded at the counter.

“Oh, no. That’s fine. Thanks though.”

“Please. Let me. I insist,” he placed his hand on his chest.

Well, if you wanted to fork over his own money, you weren’t about to fight him. “Alright. Thanks. You can buy ‘em.”

The stranger paid for your drinks quietly, with you standing with your arms crossed. You wondered for a second where he had come from and why he had approached you.

“Thanks so much,” you smiled when he was done.

“You’re welcome.”

“My name’s Y/N, by the way,” you held your hand out.

He shook your hand quickly, his eyes running up and down your body. He wasn’t being subtle. “Nice to meet you. My name’s Ben.”

You smiled at him, letting out a little laugh. “Thank you again.”

“My pleasure,” he nodded. “Are… Are you here with anyone?”

“Oh, yeah, I am.” You looked over your shoulder to where Stephen was, spotting him now standing in the area where you'd left him. He stared at you. Intensely. And then he moved, eyes stuck on you, as he marched on over. He walked with intent. With a purpose. He didn’t look calm or relaxed at all, as he had done a few minutes ago. No. There was something on his mind and you had a feeling you were about to find out what it was in a second.

“Who’s this?” Stephen asked when he stood next to you. He looked so serious, his head tilted slightly as he eyed the new man.

“Hey. We were just talking, ya know?” Ben said sheepishly.

“Well, Y/N doesn’t want to talk to you,” Stephen said lowly. He grabbed at your hand, holding it tight.

He pulled you away from Ben, not even looking behind him. You had left your drinks there on the counter since Stephen didn’t even give you a chance to grab them. You both pushed through the crowd with Stephen leading the way. You weren’t quite sure why Stephen was acting so oddly. He was usually fairly calm and collected, but the man before you seemed worried and panicked. Had you done something wrong?

When you were in an empty hallway, Stephen skilfully opened up a portal, taking you right back to the comfort of the sanctum. The event – and your drinks, and Ben – were far, far away. He shut the portal before turning to look at you with dark eyes. What on earth was going on with him?

“Why were you talking to that random guy?” he hissed, his eyes dark.

You raised an eyebrow. Why was he so pissed about a silly, little conversation you had been having?

“Relax,” you held your hands up. Why didn’t Stephen like Ben? “It’s not a big deal.”

“Yes, it is a big deal. You didn’t see it, that Ben guy was trying to get close to you.”

You narrowed your eyes at him. Stephen was usually reserved. Calm. Had his head on straight. But the Stephen standing before you was… Insecure. And… Jealous? You couldn’t help but smirk at his reaction. Interesting, you thought. You didn’t get to see Stephen get all jealous often. At least, he had never shown you his jealous side before. But you had to admit that you kind of liked it.

“You know,” you said lowly. “I might just go back to the event and go home with that Ben guy.”

Stephen let out a deep breath and shook his head at you. His fists were curled. His eyes were still dark. The jealousy was clear as day on his face.

“What did you just say?” he asked, voice low.

You gave him a rather sweet but calculating smile. It was fun to get under his skin, especially since he got worked up so easily. “I said… I might go back to the event and go home with that Ben guy.”

He somehow looked even more jealous. There was a fire in his eyes as he grabbed at your waist, pulling your body right up against his. He kissed you, shoving his tongue into your mouth. You were shocked. But you kissed him back, loving the feeling of his body up against yours as your lips moved together.

“No one else gets to touch you,” he muttered when he pulled away from your lips. “And no one else gets to make you feel good except for me.”

“It’s bold of you to assume that you make me feel good,” you smirked. “You know, Ben might be better…”

“Is this a test?”

You just smiled at his question.

Then he picked you up, holding you tight as he carried you to his bedroom – a place you had been to on many occasions. He placed you down on the bed before crawling on the mattress, resting his body on top of yours. You kissed again, tongues dancing together before his lips were on your neck. He sucked at the skin there, forcing a little whine out of you.

“I’m going to make you feel so good,” he whispered into your ear, his voice laced with lust. “So good that you’ll forget all about that Ben guy.”

He yanked off your dress and underwear, leaving your body all bare for him. He was still above you as he ran a skilled finger up and down your wet pussy lips, teasing you a little. You bit into your bottom lip, needing more than just his gentle touch. But he carried on. Kept running his finger up and down your slit slowly and softly.

You were literally on the verge of begging him to fuck you when he finally pushed two scarred fingers into you. You gasped, head rolling back at the sensation. Then he pumped his fingers in and out of you, fucking you with them. You moaned, getting lost in the pleasure. His thumb was on your clit a second later, rubbing at the sensitive bud. You cried out, the sound of Stephen’s fingers filling you up hitting your ears.

With a moan on his lips, he kissed you, and you eagerly kissed him back. Then he focused on your pussy again, playing with you with his talented fingers. It felt so good, but you needed more. Needed him to fuck you.

“Please fuck me,” you whimpered with big eyes.

“I don’t think you’ve earned that.” He pulled his fingers away from you.

“Please, please, please fuck me,” you pouted.

“Hm. You don’t deserve it after what you said to me about you and your little boyfriend Ben.”

“I’m sorry. I won’t do it again. I promise. Please. Just please fuck me. Need it so bad.”         

Your pleading words must have triggered something inside of Stephen, because he lifted himself off the bed and pulled off his own clothes. You sighed happily at the sight of his hard cock. You spread your legs for him, so ready and so willing. He kneeled between your spread legs, pumping his cock up and down before he aimed the tip at your dripping entrance. He ran his swollen tip up and down your pussy, teasing you yet again, before he finally pushed the tip of his cock into you. But then he stopped. He didn’t move at all, and you had no choice but to let out a desperate whine.

“Please fuck me,” you begged. “Please.”

All he did was smirk at you. He enjoyed teasing you far too much.

But you needed him. You wrapped your legs around him, pulling him into you. His cock slowly filled you up to the hilt and you let out a thankful moan as Stephen grunted. Finally, you had his cock inside of you. You had him so deep in you, your pussy lips wrapped around him nice and tight.

“Fuck,” Stephen hissed out.

He didn’t move. He just stayed put, buried deep inside of you, your hole filled to the absolute brim. He stayed like that for a long moment, your little pussy getting his cock all wet before he pulled out and pushed back into you. A thankful hum left your lips as Stephen started to thrust in and out of you, your hands circling around his large form. You dragged your nails across his skin as pleasure began to overwhelm you. He was pumping into you slowly. All easy and steady, but you needed so much more than that.

“Please move faster,” you begged with a whine. “Please, Stephen.”

He did just that. He pulled back out, your pussy feeling empty for the longest second of your life before he filled you back up with his cock. He moved faster. Harder. His cock stretched you out just the way you needed it. He pounded into you, eyes never leaving yours as he took you. Stephen always fucked you so well. Always left you feeling satisfied. But tonight? Tonight was something else? He was fucking you like he had a point to prove, and you weren’t about to fight him on it.

“Oh, Stephen!” you let out, voice laced with total pleasure. Your toes were curling as he took you hard and fast, your head spinning a little.

Stephen kept fucking in and out of you, his thrusts deep and hard and oh so perfectly angled. You felt yourself gushing around his cock, creating a sticky mess between your thighs as he filled you up with his length.

“Who do you belong to?” Stephen asked, letting out a heavy pant. “Huh?”

You didn’t answer. You were too busy focusing on how damn good it felt to be filled up with him. You just whimpered in response.

Stephen pumped into you with a rough thrust. “I said: who do you belong to?”

He sounded so serious the second time. You knew you couldn’t ignore him at that point.

“I belong to you,” you managed to let out, your eyes rolling into the back of your head.

“Good,” he muttered, his voice laced with confidence. He kissed you hard and fast, tongues dancing together as he carried on fucking you. He moved in and out of you all rough and eager, his cock throbbing between your swollen lips.

He was so skilled. So good at making you his. You kept letting out long moans of pleasure, wanting him to know just how good he was making you feel.

“No one else gets to hear you scream out their name,” he hissed into your ear. “Only I get to hear you scream my name.”

You very much agreed. “Yes,” you whimpered out. That was the only word you could get out. The pleasure you were feeling had completely taken over.

Stephen fucked you more. And he gave you one wonderfully angled thrust, one thrust so deep that it hit that sweet spot deep inside of you. Your eyes widened when the tip of his cock met that sensitive spot within you. You needed to feel that again. You could feel your pussy growing wetter and wetter just from his cock alone.

“Oh, please don’t stop,” you pleaded with him. “Please, please, please don’t stop.”

“Fuck, I won’t,” he grunted out.

He kept his promise. He thrusted into you harder and faster, his tip making contact with that spot again and again. You couldn’t hang on for much longer. It just felt too good. You could feel your orgasm getting closer and you needed Stephen to know, needed him to know that your peak was just seconds away.

“I’m gonna cum,” you whispered. “Oh, Stephen. So close. Gonna cum for you.”

He seemed to pick up the pace at that, because a second later, he was pumping his cock in and out of you wildly. The sound of skin hitting skin filled the room as he took you and fucked you hard and deep. Your pussy felt so warm, so wet. You were dripping all over his cock, his length coated in your juices as he fucked you.

“Mm, you feel so good!” you cried out.

Then he pumped into you hard. He did it once. Twice. And then one more time – filling you right up to the hilt. And that was when your orgasm hit you. You felt the heat. You saw stars. Your ears rang as your pussy gushed around him and came. You were amazed that every single thrust managed to feel so good. Stephen was skilled. That much was for certain. And he was taking you in a way that you had never felt before thanks to his jealous side coming out. You had never felt anything so good as he pounded into you, his lust-filled eyes never leaving your face.

“Stephen!” you squealed, your pussy squeezing at him tight - especially since he kept fucking you, his thrusts relentless. He filled you up so deep, fucking you right through your toe-curling orgasm.

“Fuck,” he grunted deeply, still giving you his cock. He wouldn’t stop. Wouldn’t stop pumping you full of his thick, throbbing length. “Fuck, Y/N. I’m gonna fucking cum. So fucking close.”

“Please cum inside me,” you pouted up at him. “Please cum inside me. Please.”

He thrusted in and out of you, giving you every inch of his cock. His eyes were dark and focused on you before he muttered out your name and a deep, drawn-out “fuck”. His eyes shut and his lips parted as he let out a rough moan, your tight pussy wrapped right around his cock.

You felt his cock twitch inside of you, your tight pussy clenching around him. Then he hissed and shot out load after load of cum deep into your pussy, filling you right up with the sticky liquid. Your eyes shut as you got lost in the sensation of him emptying himself inside of you. He moved in and out of you, his pace slowing down, before he finally pulled himself out of your pussy. 

He laid down next to you, panting heavily – just as you were. That had been intense. You were both gasping hard, the two of you trying to get your breath back. It took a minute or two but you finally moved over to lay down on his chest. He felt so warm. So welcoming. He circled a strong arm around your shoulders, pulling you tighter against him.

The two of you didn’t say anything for a little while. And you were happy to lay there, enjoying his warm hands on you. His touch was gentle. Comforting. But then Stephen broke the silence.

“So, do you still think that Ben guy could do better than me?” he asked you lowly.

You stared up at him, blinking a few times. Then you gave him a warm smile. “No. I don’t think anyone could beat you.”

Stephen chuckled. He seemed happy with your answer. That jealousy that had once been in his eyes was all gone. Instead, he seemed more than happy to be right there by your side. The two of you went quiet again. There wasn’t anything else to say at that point. You just knew you could feel yourself growing more and more tired as the seconds passed. The day had already been long. And after what you and Stephen had just done, you were beyond exhausted.

So you laid there. Happily. There was so much comfort as you rested on Stephen’s chest, your eyes slowly fluttering shut. Soon you were met with sleep and darkness, but you knew one thing for sure: there really was no way that anyone could take you better than Stephen could.

[winchester-with-wings]

Training Room Tension (Wolverine x f!Reader, smut)

Pairing: Logan Howlett x F!reader

Summary: Training is just another form of foreplay between you and Logan. That's why no one trains with you guys anymore. It's just awkward.

Tags/Warnings: 18+, smut with a hint of sappy love and security at the end, dirty talk, taunting, unprotected sex, biting, spanking, rough sex, Rest In Piece(s) to your undergarments hehe, takes place in the X-Mansion, reader is some type of invulnerable mutant like Logan.

Word count: 2400

Author's Note: First time writing in forever! Praise be to "Deadpool & Wolverine" for bringing back my love and lust for Hugh Jackman. Wolverine in particular is one of my first loves. Shout out to by Bitchachos for reassuring me this obsession was okay. Love you guys! Thanks for reading and thanks to @pagesofivy for the title suggestion! I'm picturing older, thicker Logan from the 70s cuz of that mirror scene iykyk. But also love these XMen gifs. Ah hell I can't pick a favorite. He has aged sooooo well.

Hope people enjoy this and please don't be afraid to let me know! Words of Affirmation is my love language. LOL

I made a wolverine sideblog too because I want to reblog everything Logan and D&W related hehe ----> @feral4wolverine

Mobile Masterlist

The team rarely trains with you and Logan in the same room anymore. For a good reason too. Sure, in short exercises, they can manage you guys. You're both part of the team after all, but the longer training scenarios, they'll make do without. They just know their feral, indestructible teammates will do their part in the real world fights.

Because as much as Logan admires your strength and determination...he also cannot stand it. You're stubborn. You're defiant. You're a tease and he can't take it anymore.

“You’re slowing down, babe, and pulling your punches,” you tease, dodging his swing and sweeping his legs out from under him. He hits the ground with a loud thud. He rolls over, grabbing your ankle before you can get back up. He drags you along the mats as he stands. “Ah, nonono!” you laugh, your arms waving and trying to get a grip on the floor. You get your other foot under you and turn yourself over trying to kick or hook your leg around his neck to take him down.

It doesn’t work this time but at least he lets go of your foot. Back on even ground, you’re swapping blows, punches, and blocks. You curse almost as much as he grunts.

"Run that pretty little mouth one more time," he growls, his arms interlocked with yours as he blocks your attack again.

"Or what, old man?" You push back, breaking his hold, your skin is slick with sweat and it gives you an advantage over Logan…in more ways than one. You’re slippery and fast and his reaction time is slower as his gaze lingers on every inch of exposed, glistening skin.

He pounces and were he not already so close, you would have been able to dodge him. Your feet don't have a chance to gain traction though as you scramble to get away. He swiftly grabs you by the waist, tossing you over his shoulder.

The action is fast enough that it steals your breath away. You're kicking and protesting as he carries you out of the gym. All the tech and weaponry in the Danger Room have borne the brunt of Logan's claws too many times, so the two of you have been banished to the school's gymnasium. Logan takes two stairs at a time as he carries you off in the direction of your shared room. It’s far from the student’s quarters and the walls are soundproof from back when Logan’s nightmares were more frequent. They’re all but gone since you maneuvered yourself into his life.

(It’s technically still his room only, but he was never going to ask you to move in, so you’ve just started sneaking things in and leaving items behind until it was obvious. You know he’s noticed and cleared space for your abandoned items in his dresser, closet, and bathroom. He’s just too stubborn to admit defeat. And you’re happy to spare his ego and let him be the one to finally mention it.)

If anyone in the mansion hears your grumbling and cursing, they tune you out–already accustomed to you and Logan bickering. Your protests die in your throat as you take a sharp intake of air when he smacks your ass, his large hand definitely leaving a stinging mark. If it's not already red, he may spank you one or two more times...especially if you mouth off.

Once in his room, he tosses you onto his bed but you bounce back up and try to shove past him, a half-assed attempt to keep playing cat and mouse, to make him chase you some more. He hooks you around the waist and throws you back on the bed, this time bearing down on top of you. His body is strong, solid, and heavy with adamantium as he pins you down, his chest vibrating with a growl.

"No more talking."

"Oh baby, that's not how I fuck," you moan and hook one of your legs around his waist. One hand grabs his ass, giving you leverage to grind against him.

"Such a filthy mouth," he snarls, his teeth grazing your jaw before he nips at your ear. His facial hair scratches at your skin, raising goosebumps along your flesh. Your nipples tighten and ache, desperate for his mouth.

"You love it."

His chest vibrates with another deep growl just before he claims your mouth, your lips smashing together hard enough that your teeth make contact, and your lips get caught in the crossfire. There's a brief taste of iron but whomever it belongs to heals quickly, the sting relieved as his tongue delves into your mouth.

"Can't...stand it...anymore. Can't take it," he groans as he kisses you. He pulls away just to kiss and bite along your jaw, down the column of your throat.

"Poor thing, powerless to resist me?" you keen, your breath hitching as he bites your neck a little harder, his tongue soothing it a second later. You grind your hips, answering with your own moans, proud of yourself for getting a rise out of him. Your nails dig into his back, definitely tearing at his shirt. He pulls his head back and hisses as the sensation rides the border between pain and pleasure. He reaches for you, his hands shackling your wrists and pinning your arms by your head.

"Be a good girl for once and don't move," he commands you, releasing your hands so that he can take off his shirt and rip off his belt. He yanks your pants down, getting increasingly agitated as he struggles with the fabric. With your shirt, he pulls it up until it bunches around your wrists, effectively shackling you. As for your sports bra and underwear…

"Nonono!"

SNIKT!

"Sonuvabitch!" you curse as he cuts the fabric with one of his claws. He just chuckles. He's slowed down just for a moment to drag a single claw down the middle of your sports bra, along the line of your cleavage. Your breasts spill out as he cuts the straps next. Your breasts are bared to him and he lavishes them with the attention you crave. You no longer keep your hands above your head as you card your fingers through his thick hair, pulling on it as you arch your back and press your breasts further into his hands and mouth. He bites at your supple flesh as his fingers knead your nipples into aching peaks. A mewling whimper escapes your lips as you roll your hips against him some more but his jeans are still on.

"Are you gonna fuck me, or do I need to get myself off?" you challenge him while biting your bottom lip. His answer comes after he slides a hand down your body and rubs your pussy through your soaked underwear.

"Nobody makes you come but me, sweetheart," he says gruffly, his own arousal evident in his voice before he kisses you again, deeply, passionately, possessive. He steals your breath away and when he lets you up for air you gasp, your chest heaving as he's pinned your breasts between you. You love the feeling of his chest hair against your skin.

"Then prove it…Bub," you gasp, surprising yourself and giggling at the use of the nickname. He shakes his head with amusement, only slightly cringing at your joke.

The next thing you know, he's sitting up, unzipping his jeans and ripping your underwear off without the use of his claws. (You don't wear your nicer panties when sparring with Logan is on the schedule.) The sports bra, you'd thought you could save. His dick is straining against his boxer briefs but you hardly get a glimpse of his perfectly thick cock before he's pushing inside you.

Normally, you like it when he fingers you first. When he stretches you out with two or three fingers while he tongues and sucks on your clit. You lament the opportunity for beard burn on your inner thighs but you’ll make up for that some other time. For now you’re just as desperate for him, as he is for you.

"Mmm fuck," he growls as he bottoms out. "So fucking tight. So wet. Love the scent of you on my sheets." He hunches forward, burying his face in the curve of your neck. He bites and sucks a mark into your skin. It'll heal, but at least the two of you will know it was there. You rake your fingers through his hair, pulling on it, your nails scraping his scalp. You wrap your legs around his waist, locking your ankles in the small of his back.

"Yes, Logan, yes baby fuck me. Fuck me hard. Make me come," you urge him on, trying to roll your hips to match his rapid rhythm, but you can't keep up. The sensations are intense and overwhelming, until you've lost the strength in your arms and you just let yourself go. You submit to him in every way, allowing yourself to be used for his pleasure just as you know your pleasure is his. "Fuck, Logan, I'm so close…" you moan.

Your body is languid, liquid heat beneath him, your skin scorching hot no matter where he touches you. He drags his big hands down your body, starting at the base of your throat, over your heartbeat, kneading your breasts before sliding them down your stomach and grasping your hips. Changing pace to long, hard strokes, he rubs your clit with his thumb as he raises your hips off the bed. Your hips start bucking like you're trying to get away from the intensity of his thumb on your clit, but he keeps pulling you back to him, thrusting deeper as you two battle for release. You cry out, coming so hard your legs are shaking. You reach out to him and he extends one of his arms. Your fingers dig into his forearm as you hold on, feeling like you could fly off the bed, but Logan has you. He'll never let you go.

"Ohh, fuck," he groans, his mouth hanging open and his lips almost pulling back to bare his teeth like an animal. His eyes roll back as he nearly loses himself to the feeling of your orgasm, the pulsing sensation of your pussy squeezing him tight. You keep rolling your body, pushing and pulling with your grip on his arm,  drawing out your climax. His fingers dig into your hips. He finally bares his teeth, growling, his face twisting into a feral snarl. "Fuck, baby."

He pulls out suddenly and you cry, mourning the loss of being full. But then he flips you over, fast enough to elicit a startled giggle. His smug chuckle is lost as you end up face down on the bed. You're about to get up to your hands and knees when Logan slams back into you, going deeper from this position. You moan into his pillow, noting his own unique smell of leather, cigars, and pine. His hand holds onto your shoulder for leverage as he starts piston his hips at a rapid pace, fucking into you from behind, pressing you into the mattress.

“Don’t stop. Keep going,” you urge him on, knowing that the moment it’s too much for you, if you say stop, he will. “Oh my god, fu--I'm gonna come again," you whimper. He lets out a rugged laugh and spanks your ass...once, twice, and then rubbing your skin to soothe the red marks before he grabs your ass to help you push back and ride his dick.

"Yesss," he hisses, "Yeah sweetheart, let it go, come again. I've got you," he grunts, the words oddly sweet in contrast to the pounding you're getting.

Your next orgasm is matched by his. You can't see him behind you but you know what it looks like when Logan comes. You love the way his nose scrunches up, his head falls back and then rolls to the side like he's about to crack his neck. Then he shakes head like he's clearing his head from the fog of mind-blowing sex. His body shudders, all of his muscles are tense, flexed, rock hard. If you were on your back, you'd be kissing and nipping at his broad chest as you rake your nails down his abs. For now, you can take in the sight of him by straining to look over your shoulder. His thrusts stutter to a complete stop as he fills you up.

"Yes, baby…yes, feels so good," you pant, praising him. The corner of his mouth turns up in a proud smirk. He takes a few deep breaths and slides his hand up and down your spine. You fully sink into the mattress, boneless and spent, and he leans over you, propping most of his weight on his arms beside you.

Your breathing synchronizes as you lay there together. He peppers your shoulders with open mouth kisses and gently nips at the curve of your neck as you expose it.

"You like that, sweetheart?" he murmurs softly in your ear.

"Mmm, yes," you answer, "always." Your eyes are closed as you focus on the remnants of pleasure coursing through your body. You press your ass against him, earning yourself a few more lazy, taunting thrusts from him. He pulls out, his dick still hard and throbbing with a stamina unmatched by your own. You clench your legs shut, determined to keep his seed inside you, as you both love a messy round two. He rolls onto his side, taking you with him until you're on your back and looking up at him.

"You drive me crazy, baby girl," he grumbles…with obvious affection as he nuzzles you and then softly kisses you.

"You love it," you defend yourself playfully.

"Mmmhmm," he growls his agreement before kissing you again, one hand slowly exploring the planes of your body once more. He loves it when you play hard to get. He loves it when you talk back and antagonize him. He loves having a partner who keeps up with him and then still kicks his ass in training. He loves it when you challenge his lone wolf act. He loves it all, because it makes these moments happen--moments where two seemingly invincible people can come together and feel safe enough to love and be loved.

-----

It's been 2 years since I posted any fics... I hope ya'll liked this! Let me know!

p.s. made a wolverine specific sideblog: @feral4wolverine

[wangxianficfinder]

Fic Finder

Feb 5th

~*~

1. hi there! i remember reading this fic ages ago and i can't seem to find it again - lwj has dreams/nightmares about falling. one scene i remember clearly is lwj waking up from a falling nightmare, stumbles and wwx catches him and holds him. i think they were in an inn? it's either canon or post-canon. it would be awesome if you could locate this - i've looked through the various requests others have sent it for hc/touch-starved/nightmares but couldn't locate this particular fic.

FOUND? Bitter Plants Bearing Sweet Fruit by Kryal (M, 83k, WangXian, graphic depictions of violence, canon-typical horror elements, Worldbuilding, Desert, Misuse of Historic Setting, Original Character Death(s), Case Fic, aftermath of canon, ridiculously long author notes, Established Relationship, Nothing Explicit But Shameless Innuendo) It's in a later scene, but Lan Zhan kinda sleeps walks into WWX after his nightmare

~*~

2. hello! looking for a canon divergence fic, set during the sunshot campaign. what i remember is a scene where jc whips wwx with zidian. wwx collapses (having no golden core). lwj, who already knows that wwx has no core, intervenes and brings wwx to the medical tent. if i'm not wrong, there were two versions of the chapter in the medical tent, with a version that's with more jc bashing? I think it's a pretty long read. thank you! @potatokunst

ah this is right thank you thank you! the other version of that scene is in another story in the same series :)

FOUND! these colours fade for you only by doodlebutt (T, 36k, WangXian, Canon Divergence, Fix-It, Fluff and Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Everybody Lives, Golden Core Transfer Fix-It, …eventually, Hurt/Comfort, Nightmares, bed sharing, Mutual Pining, Slow Burn, Sunshot Campaign) features Lan Zhan knowing about Wei Ying's missing core, Jiang Chen whipping Wei Ying with Zidian, causing him to collapse, and Lan Zhan rushing in to help him. I don't remember there being two versions of Wei Ying's treatment, though it's been a while since I read it.

as love and its decisive pain by doodlebutt (T, 1k, WangXian, Canon Divergence, Fix-It, alternate ending for chapter 8 of these colours fade for you only, canon-typical violence and injuries, Angst) (the other version if anyone is curious)

~*~

3. Hello again!! This time I’m look for help finding two stories! A) was a 3 chaptered ao3 WIP with inventor Wei Wuxian who made (among other stuff) a spiritual hairpin for jyl, it worked with her pacifist cultivation and slowed or paralyzed fierce corpses… and B) an au that was maybe on tumblr where the empress/empress dowager showed up for wwx because his father was a hidden prince?? I don’t know how much of the story was part of the au and how much I daydreamed so I don’t have more details… @pinsluke

3A)

FOUND! Here Again (Spirits Rise, Unbroken) by TheDefenestrator (T, 74k, WIP, WangXian, Canon Divergence, Time Travel Fix-It, Slow Burn, Happy Ending) which is two chapters and a time travel, but definitely has inventor wwx with jyl has a pacifist/tranquility hairpin!

~*~

4. HELP…

I read a fic cannot find WWX is working in an office LAN something and he brings A-Yuan to work still a baby and usually he sleeps in one of the drawers of the file cabinete, LWJ comes in and sees the baby and asks to what WWX says something about he’s, filled correctly , LWJ takes the baby and LQ and LHuan buy all kinds of designer clothing and on their way to the baby furniture store @bkpmystinen

FOUND? Threadfic by 0Pink_Blossoms0

~*~

5. Can you help me find this fanfiction? I’ve never actually read it before but the summary was something about how WWX was forced to marry LWJ after the archery competition when he removed LWJ’s forehead ribbon, and then years later after an unhappy marriage, he finally calls HC and LBH for help. I think HC and LBH are his sworn brothers in this fic, also. @sagegreencomforter

FOUND? The Wrong Choice by XunMichoco (Not Rated, 32k, WangXian, XiCheng, XuanLi, BingQiu, HuaLian, ZhuiLing, LQ/YQ, Angst, Hurt/Comfort, YZY is nice here, JFM being best dad, best sis JYL, JC is protective, Dark LWJ, WWX wants LWJ dead, mentions of xy, Sworn Brothers, Mpreg, YQ respect, SS is nice here, Forced Marriage, LXC is Suffering, From Nightmares)

~*~

6. I have two fics I'm trying to find again. I read them a while ago, so I'm only putting details I'm sure of.

A) Lan Wangji is travelling and comes across a little lost paper man. He finds the silent paper man very endearing and with a lot of personality. They learn to communicate as they travel, and Lan Wangji grows attached. The paper man is obvs Wei Wuxian.

B) a Cloud Recesses fic, based on The Untamed. A Caught At The Cold Pond and Now Arranged To Marry fic. Wangxian are sent to a cabin and isolated there for a little while. I remember one scene where Wei Wuxian is trying to draw and keeps moving Lan Wangji further out of the way because he's mad at him and it makes Lan Wangji cry. There was also a puppy involved and Lan Wangji helping Wei Wuxian participate safely in the puppy's life. There was also something about the house they're in being alive? I think maybe also a winter storm and a dragon.

Anything you can do will be greatly appreciated. You guys do great work. Thank you! 🙏 @feralplantwife

6A)

FOUND! a paper friend by soft_wanning (G, 4k, WangXian, Canon Divergence, Fluff, Paperman WWX, Identity Porn, Meet-Cute, Different First Meeting)

6B)

FOUND! Headband Wedding Bootcamp by gwynseren (M, 50k, WangXian, Accidental Marriage, Misunderstandings, Some Humor)

~*~

7. I hope I'm doing this right, I've never sent in an ask before. Also don't know if what I wrote is appropriate.

There was this one fic, I think it was post-Sunshot campaign, where the abuse Wei Wuxian experienced under Madam Yu was exposed to the cultivation world. The details I remember are that the cultivators thought Jiang Cheng was continuing this abuse and even going further with sexually assaulting Wei Wuxian. The rumors/misunderstanding got to be so bad that Junior Lan Disciples actually stepped in to get Wei Wuxian away from Jiang Cheng after they witnessed a confrontation between the two and Wei Wuxian flinched or backed away from Jiang Cheng.

That's all I can really remember. I don't remember if it was a one-shot, part of a one-shot collection, or an unfinished fic. @freestrawberrynight

FOUND? 🔒chapter 15 of Vrishchika's Short Prompts

~*~

8. for the fic finder! its a time travel fic where wwx falls off the cliff and finds himself in the past then raises his child self as if he were his father, been looking for a while but i just can’t find it myself 😭 @thwispsings

FOUND? In Another Life by SingingInTheRaiin (M, 21k, WangXian, Time Travel, but not the usual way, LWJ is smitten, WWX is a dumbass, LXC knows what's up, Portugese Translation Available)

~*~

9. I’m not sure if it was Wattpad or Ao3 but I remember a scene where Wei wuxian is being stalked by a shadow/ mysterious figure but as the story goes on it turns out it was Lan Wangji from a different universe or time line that lost his Wei Ying so he decided to try to take this Wei wuxian. I think he was also getting memories or visions from far into the future and starts making references from the 20s century. I don’t remember if it was a time travel fic or a MDZS react fic.

FOUND?🔒我拿青春赌明天 / I’ll wager my youth against tomorrow by tombenough_and_continent (T, 37k, WangXian, Science Fiction, Historical, Time Travel, Enemies to Lovers)

~*~

10. Hii, for fic finder. I've been looking in my bookmarks for a while but can't find it smh :( all I remember was Madam Yu hits a yuan with zidian

FOUND? Consequences by Remma3760 (Not Rated, 58k, WangXian, XiSu, XuanLi, Canonical Child Abuse, Abusive YZY, Good Uncle LQR, WWX is a Lan, Accidental Baby Acquisition, Bad Parents JFM and YZY) the whipping happens in chapter 25

~*~

11. For a Fic Finder - I'm looking for a fic that i thought i had bookmarked. As usual, i can't find it, and don't recall the title.

It's set after Wei Ying loses his core, etc. The three siblings are back at Lotus Pier. Wei Ying is pretty drunk all the tome. So Yanli and Jiang Cheng write to Lan Zhan & adk him to take WY to Gusu to heal or detox. WY isn't happy but he goes. Then evades LZ's efforts to cleanse the resentment. One day he's in the back meadow & meets a tiny toddler Jingyi who is upset, i forget why. They make friends. There is a mystery about an array that kept Madam Lan stuck in her house (in the story it's not the Jingshi). I think WY figures out that her essence is still trapped. The boys end up freeing her, she borrow's WY's body long enough to talk to LZ. Turns out she's a Heavenly Official and LZ and Lan Xuchen are demigods. Before she leaves, she gived WY a part of her strong goldrn core. At the end of the fic, they confess, and the guys adopt little Jingyi, and obviously live happily ever after.

Any help tracking thid down is so much appreciated!

NOT FOUND! Practical Considerations by teawater, the_anthropologist (E, 97k, WangXian, JC & WWX, LXC & WWX, LQR & WWX, Arranged Marriage, Canon Divergence, Found Family, Spouses to Lovers, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Light Angst, Politics, Scheming, Lán Elders are assholes, BAMF WWX, BAMF LWJ, eventually BAMF LXC, learning to make decisions, Learning Self-worth, Self-Esteem Issues, Sweet Wangxian, Domestic Fluff, Fix-It, JC is a big asshole, he improves somewhat but it’s open-ended, WWX learns to stand up for himself, Quote: Come Back to Gusu With Me, POV wwx, POV LWJ, POV JC, Golden Core Reveal, Teacher wwx, Golden Core Transfer Fix-It, Alcohol as a Coping Mechanism, Past Suicidal Thoughts, Post-Sunshot Campaign, WWX Protection Squad, Feelings Realization, WWX protector of the twin jades, Protective LWJ, Protective WWX, Protective LQR, Demonic Cultivator WWX, WWX is Loved, Married WangXian, Genius WWX, Everybody Lives)

FOUND! if i had the strength by agloeian (M, 16k, WangXian, Canon Divergence, Post-Sunshot Campaign, Hurt/Comfort, Getting Together, Fix-It, somewhat of a case fic, Heaven Official's Blessing inspired gods & ghosts, Mild Alcohol Abuse, (see WWX's canonical coping mechanisms), Mental Health Issues, WWX is not in a great place for a lot of this fic, He Gets Better Though!, this fic is all about learning to give yourself the help you give others tbh, Baby LJY, recovery fic, Accidental Baby Acquisition)

~*~

12. I remember starting a fic where LWJ stabbed himself and WWX through with Bichen before the 33 Lan elders could get to them and now I can't find it anymore. I pretty sure it was some type of time travel fix-it and I think LWJ apologized to Bichen for using it to hurt WWX or smth. If you could somehow find it I would be eternally greatful ♡

~*~

13. I apologize if I have already sent this ask, I cannot remember.

For fic finder, I’m hunting down a fic that didn’t say it took place in Sacramento CA but almost certainly did. I remember almost nothing else about it other than the Jiangs live in the Bay Area, lwj lives in a town that “people don’t usually move to” and wwx moves to the area and lwj shows him around to things like apple hill or the costume mansion. This is like. A super specific and weird request but iykyk

Thank

FOUND? so hot you're hurting my feelings by isabilightwood (E, 40k, WangXian, JYL/WQ, Modern, Oblivious LWJ, Didn't Know They Were Dating, no moms were harmed in the making of this fic, mama lan took LQR in the divorce, LWJ Has Friends, all WWX characterization decisions were made to make LWJ pine harder for his own boyfriend, Fluff, Eventual Smut, Bottom LWJ, Halloween, WWX's birthday, Sub LWJ, Light Dom/sub, Spanking)

~*~

14. Hi, I'm looking for a fanfic about Dragãoji and Foxxian where they were in a marriage contract because Foxxian was fertile. I only read the synopsis where Jiang Cheng said: if you marry him they will give us an army. Now I feel like reading it but I lost it. @quwieiidkd

FOUND? heavy is the crown by sweetlolixo (E, 58k, WangXian, High Fantasy, Dragon LWJ, Fox WWX, Romance, Dubious Consent, Warrior LWJ, Pregnant WWX, Language Barrier, Size Kink, Dark Royalty, Game of Thrones!Drogo/Daenerys Premise, Eventual Happy Ending, Breeding Kink, Arranged Marriage, Everyone Falls In Love With WWX At First Sight, Rape/Non-con Elements)

~*~

15. Hi, I have a request for Ficfinder. I read a story awhile ago. I don't remeber much of it, just one scene where both Ln Zhan and Jiang Cheng were making soup for Wei Wuxian. Both were sure they were making his favourite, Jiang Cheng was making the lotus root and pork rib soup while Lan Zhan was making egg drop soup.

This was after the Burial Mounds, so Wei Wuxian had stopped eating meat. i think it was all about which one knew him best? Not really sure. Any help finding this story would be much appreciated. Thanks. @remma3760

FOUND! Where the Winds of Change Blow by merakily (G, 17k, WangXian, Angst and Humor, Canon Compliant, Post-Canon, Mild Hurt/Comfort, Golden Core, Family Bonding, Flashbacks)

~*~

16. Hi I'm looking for a fic that I found through here lol. It's cssr & wcz survive but are very injured, wy is in a coma for a bit. They get to Lotus Pier to recover and it was a longer fic. That's all I remember 😅

FOUND? Building a home by R95irth (T, 586k, WCZ/CS, JFM/YZY, WangXian, JC/WQ, JYL/JZX, 3zun, BSSR/LY, MS/Sisi, Canon Divergence, Time Travel Fix-It, Everyone Lives, Angst with a Happy Ending, Horror, Nightmares, Canon-Typical Violence, Complete list of ships in the serie summary, Family Fluff, Found Family, Babies, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, but not done by the Lotus Pier squad, Also JGS exists so canon related things linked to him, Same goes for Lan parents)

~*~

17. Hi I was looking for these two very specific fanfics that I think I read on Wattpad years ago!

A) The First one is like: (Alternative AU) Wei wuxian and Jiang chang go to this school together and they like each other but the other person does not know they like each other and then Wei wuxian meets the principle's son lan zhan and they fall in love but Jiang chang is still in love with Wei wuxian and the story continues. 

B) The second one is like: Wei wuxian time travels back to his past after he falls down the cliff and then tries to harm himself to stop the future from hapenning but his loved him stop him and the story continues.  (like angsty at first and then turns to comfort - also I remember Jiang chang after knowing the truth becomes super protective of Wei wuxian in this story)

I honestly appreciate all your help - I have been trying to find them for ages but they seem to have disappeared :(

~*~

18. hi!! for the next fic, would would you mind finding this one fic of an alternate universe, modern setting? In this fic, Wei Ying was a single adopted parent to A-Yuan I think, and he takes A-Yuan to a hockey camp where there is a guest coach who turns out to be Lan Wangji. Wei Ying and Lan Wangji used to play hockey together in college or something but Wei Ying had to drop out to help out Wen Qing and raise A-Yuan and disappeared for a few years. Anyway that is most of what I remember for this fic but it was super cute and I really want to reread it. I’ve tried every tag I can think of but I just can’t find it. Looking forward to hearing back from you if you can find it!! Thanks! @roundhen

FOUND?🔒Never Have To Ask by literaryoblivion (T, 14k, WangXian, Modern AU, Hockey, Kid Fic, Mentioned JYL, Mentioned JC, Fluff and Angst, Single Parent WWX, NHL Player LWJ, POV WWX, Past Character Death, Minor Character Death, Mentioned WQ, Car Accidents, Pining, Love Confessions, Friends to Lovers, Reunions, Mentioned Junior Ensemble, First Kiss, Requited Unrequited Love, Requited Love, Flashbacks)

~*~

19. Hi so I was trying to find a fic that I listened to a few months ago I have no idea where it is right now because I did not add it or bookmarked it so it's a podfic. I know it is it's modern setting with magic wwx is a demonic cultivator and lwj is a cultivator they work together or something and they were like on a case about a haunting of the some house and wwx get injured or something or he performed empathy and lwj is so worried so he takes him home to wwx's apartment and the apartment building is where the wen lives and he sees them talks to them for a bit and then went to wwx's apartment turns out wwx apartment is haunted but the ghost is just like harmless or something I remember one Pacific scene where lwj is laying down on the bed and the ghost is right above him and then wwx wakes up and says to the ghost "knock it off"or something along those lines that's all I remember @constancebloodstone

FOUND? when I look over my shoulder by cafecliche (T, 10k, WangXian, Modern AU, exorcist LWJ, medium wwx, vague The Conjuring AU, some horror elements, Pre-Relationship, Mutual Pining, Hurt/Comfort)

~*~

20. Hello! First, great work. Now, I'm looking for a fic where LZ is de-aged by a deity during a nigh hunt close to the burial mounds and this results in the truth about WY being revealed and he gets his core back thanks to the deity too. I think LXC and NMJ are there too. Thanks in advance. @multitudeofmes

FOUND! A Child’s Wish by Hauntcats (Not rated, 13k, WangXian, WWX & Wen remnants, Celestial meddling, Not JC Friendly, Fix-It, Canon Divergence, Angst with a Happy Ending, Everyone gets what they deserve, Age Regression/De-Aging, Child LWJ)

~*~

[baejl]

to the world

exo 10th member

somi makes a special appereance in jungkook's documentary as more than just a friend

masterlist 🌻 requests are open feedback is always important to me!  

"All set to go?" the director asked. 

Somi fixed her posture on the chair, the makeup artist giving her final touches before the actual recording began. When Jungkook invited her to be part of his special documentary before enlisting, they had long meetings and talks. Just the two of them, with their managers, their members.

They were together for more than a year now and things were fine that way. All the necessary people knew of them and Somi wasn’t ready to invite the whole world to have a closer look at their relationship. Other than that, she knew how crazy both their fans can be and that was the last thing she wanted her boyfriend to get worried about, at least, not for now. 

But both Jungkook and Somi knew that was necessary. They couldn’t stay acting like they were rookies and hiding from cameras everywhere. There was already a commotion as she was part of his ‘Standing Next To You’ MV, Dispatch already had enough material of them. So, there she was. Seated in a chair in front of three cameras and, at least, ten people behind them - Jungkook being one of them. 

"Yeah," Somi said. "I’m ready." 

To whoever was watching the documentary, Somi’s presence was revealed following the timeline. She had some parts while they were showing the whole backstage, when she was helping Jungkook in the studio as he insisted her to, but now, it was just Somi. 

Dressed casually — an oversized shirt (probably JK’s), jeans, and sneakers — Somi flashed a knowing smile at the camera, as if saying, ‘Yeah, now it’s time for the tea. The lights dimmed slightly as the camera tightened its focus on Somi. The director gave her a reassuring nod before signaling for the first question.

"So, let’s talk about how you got involved in this project. We saw glimpses of you throughout, helping Jungkook in the studio, even in the Standing Next to You MV. But how did it really start?" the director asked her. 

Somi let out a small chuckle, feeling shy, tilting her head as she thought back. Jungkook, watching from the monitor, arms crossed, with a subtle smile on his lips. 

"It started… a long time ago?" she mused. "We have the same group of friends, and we went to school together. Before anything, we are best friends. I believe that, even if I debuted first, it was so nice to have someone in the same position as I was back then."

"Which was…?" the man asked, trying to deepen the question. 

"We are the youngests in our groups, we fill in pretty much the same positions…" she listed. "And most of all, we debuted at a really young age. Being in the industry we are, having someone like that is crucial."

"I see." the man wrote down something and Somi enjoyed those seconds to wipe the sweat off her hands on her jeans. "So, how did it go from friendship to romance?" 

Somi let out a laugh.

"I mean... I guess it was organic. For me, at least." she answered, wasting no time. "We were always there for each other, we saw each other growing and evolving. I believe the admiration and love we felt for each other was also evolving. For him? He might have a diffrent answer." Somi joked, making some crew members laugh. 

The scene changed and it was now Jungkook’s interview. 

"I was in love with her for, at least, five years before asking her out for the first time." he answered, his cheeks going red. "It was organically, for her.” he laughed.

A few crew members chuckled. Off-camera, Somi’s voice piped in, "Oh, you were suffering."

Jungkook covered his face with his hands, laughing.

A montage sequence plays with a lot of moments the crew was able to get from Jungkook and Somi together. One of them was Somi and Jungkook in the studio, headphones on, lost in their craft. She was harmonizing with him as he laid down a raw vocal take. The instrumental for Standing Next To You blasting on the sound system as they were trying to finish the final details. 

"I don’t think the last part is good though." Jungkook said, rubbing his hair, anxious. 

"Says who?" Somi asked, leaning against the mix board, arms crossed. "Come on, JK. You can’t be serious." 

Jungkook doesn’t answer at first. Instead, he sighs—the kind of sigh Somi knows all too well. The ‘I’m so fucking tired’ sigh. She gets closer to him, hugging him and rubbing his arms as he cuddles her embrace. 

"I’m so tired." he admits. 

Now, a raw, handheld camera clip shows Jungkook and Somi sitting on a rooftop in Seoul, wrapped in oversized hoodies, eating convenience store ramen. The city lights sparkle behind them. 

Somi nudges him with her shoulder. "You overthink too much."

Jungkook sighs, leaning back. "It’s just… people expect so much. I don’t want to disappoint them."

She twirls her chopsticks thoughtfully. “I get it. But, Kook, when was the last time you made music just for you? Not for the charts, not for the fans. Just for yourself?”

Jungkook took another slow bite of ramen, staring out at the skyline. He didn’t answer right away. The neon lights flickered, the sound of distant traffic filling the silence.

Somi grins, changing the subject playfully. "Whatever. If you’re too busy being the Jungkook™, Golden Maknae™, Global Superstar™, at least let me steal one of your songs."

Jungkook bursts out laughing. 

"Absolutely not. I should be doing that. You're a grammy winner."

Back to Somi’s interview, the director looked at his notebook before asking her again. 

"There was a part of the whole production that really stuck with me, where Jungkook says he didn’t know how to slow down, how to breathe until someone told him. I believe that someone was you."

Somi’s expression softened. 

"It wasn’t anything revolutionary," she admitted. "I just reminded him that he’s allowed to be human. To take a break. To enjoy what he’s built instead of always chasing the next thing." 

"Did you ever think you’d be sitting here, in his documentary, as his girlfriend?"

"No," Somi admitted, a small, knowing smile on her lips. "not like this."

The director glanced at his notes before looking back up at her.

"There’s a moment in the footage where Jungkook looks at you while recording, and it’s… different. Like, you’re not just a collaborator, not just a friend. I believe that, if we had let that scene, people would notice that. But have you ever?"

Somi blinked, caught off guard. She let out a soft chuckle, shifting in her seat.

"I—uh, I guess?" she admitted, tucking a loose strand of hair behind her ear. "I mean, I always knew how intensely he works, how much he puts into his craft. But… I didn’t realize he looked at me like that."

A beat. Off-camera, someone murmured, “Oh, he definitely does.” Laughter rippled through the crew.

Somi covered her face with her hands for a second before peeking through her fingers, laughing. "Okay, next question, please."

The director smirked before flipping to another page.

"Okay. Last one. If you had to describe Jungkook in one word. Not as an artist, not as ‘Jungkook of BTS’—but just him… what would it be?"

Somi’s teasing expression softened. She took a moment, inhaling, exhaling.

"Home." she finally said.

A pause. Even Jungkook, watching from the monitor, stopped fiddling with his sleeve.

"Why?" the director prompted.

Somi smiled, small but certain. "Because no matter where we are, no matter how crazy things get… with him, I always feel like I’m exactly where I’m meant to be."

A quiet murmur swept through the set.

Cut.