#they also said that people never tell gay men to try liking women which is...so wildly out of touch???

[transmascissues]

so deeply uncomfortable right now listening to my roommate (who is not a trans man) talking about how it’s wrong to “let” trans men use certain labels for their identity.

this, of course, being the same roommate who implied that i should put myself in physical danger by going into the men’s room because me being in the women’s room might make someone feel weird.

i should be asleep right now but i’m so furious listening to this. out of all the people in this dorm full of trans people, this is who i have to live with.

[weemsfreak]

The Only One

Hi ya'll, happy pride month!!

Sorry for being mia, I have been quite busy with school and also working on this (slowly) all of June. I was unsure of the vibes I wanted this story to give, as I have been feeling confused(?) as of late, and for some reason June has brought many feelings and a couple crap experiences that I wanted to incorporate into here. I did make the story hopeful toward the end, but I just wanted to say that if anyone feels this way, you are not alone!

Calling our Lesbian Headmistress to help make the confusing and lonely times a bit better with a pride event. I know not everybody likes to celebrate pride in this way, but I thought it was cute.

Larissa Weems x studentreader (platonic) ~4.6k words

Part of my 'All the Time' series, based on reader being a lesbian but struggles with her sexuality and falls for her straight friend (canon experience ;))

Warnings: partially closeted, mention of family not understanding, self reflection (internalized homophobia/being proud)

༻༺

Nobody ever talks about how lonely it is, being queer in a small town.

The lack of representation, of places to go, and people to meet. The sliver of hope that you will feel safe if you decide to venture, if you decide to try.

Her with him and him with her and 'girl crush' this and 'man crush' that.

But all in all, you thought that perhaps the worst of it all was the feeling of being the only one.

You listen to songs that describe other places, places you wish your mother would tell you to go.

You know she wants you to stay, but you can't ignore the crazy visions of you in…well, somewhere that perhaps doesn't exist- or maybe it does.

Somewhere a different version of yourself could live; hopeful, happy, proud.

Your favorite movie, which makes you feel accepted, alive, is less than ten years old, even though you're a fan of old classic Hollywood.

You don't see yourself in them.

Many times before, you've heard people say 'it would be so much easier to be gay.'

They must've been joking, of course; but being gay was not a joke.

They joke about being gay but they've never wondered if their family would still love them.

They joke about being gay but they've never been scared of their friends abandoning them and talking behind their back.

They joke about being gay but they've never rejected a man with the reason of being interested in women, just for the man to ask if it's the truth, 'they could turn you', so they say.

They joke about being gay but they've never been the quiet one when others talked about boys.

They joke about being gay but they've never felt like they were disrespecting women because they found them attractive.

They joke about being gay but they've never been the outcast.

They joke about being gay but they've never worried about their loved ones not attending their wedding.

They joke about being gay but they've never pretended to like men to try and fit in with their peers.

They joke about being gay but they've never had nobody to talk to.

They joke about being gay but they've never had nobody to cry to.

They joke about being gay but they've never wished they were a boy, for the sole reason of a woman liking them back.

They joke about being gay but they've never had to love somebody in secret.

They joke about being gay but they'll never know what it feels like.

As bad as you felt, through the loneliness, the grief, the 'what ifs' and the doubt, it wasn't the fact of being queer that scared you, it wasn't that you weren't open, or accepting.

What did hurt though, was what came with it.

The fear of never finding someone, the fear of being rejected and harmed in public, the fear of never understanding how you really felt; the fear of feeling too deeply.

There have been times where you almost, almost, decided to leave it be.

'In another life' you said, shrugging your shoulders as a tear dripped down your cheek at the thought of faking it, and marrying a man.

But one day, you were reading a book dated from the 60s, when the realization hit you.

Years ago, regrettably not that many, you would not have the choice, you would not have the freedom.

And here you were, in the age of progression, hiding away in the land of heterosexuals.

You had a choice, you had freedom.

For the woman before you who were stuck in sham marriages, cried themselves to sleep, snuck around with another woman and feared for their life, for the women who raised children but not with whom they loved, for the women who had no such thing as freedom of choice.

You would not fake it, you would not hide, you would be your true self for them, and for you, regardless of the very possible fact that you could be the only queer in this small town.

༻༺

The headmistress stood outside of the chemistry classroom one gloomy morning, greeting students as they entered as your teacher always did.

You sauntered through the halls as you watched your peers and their modernistic and typical ways.

You weren't sure who's twisted idea it was, to put hundreds of adolescents in underfunded schools run by people whose dreams were crushed years ago…but you admired the sadism.

Opening your locker and retrieving your books, your sketchbook met the floor with an echo when a guy accidentally bumped into you.

"Oh crap, sorry Y/N"

You gave him a menacing look, before taking a breath and straightening yourself out.

"No worries."

His friend, who had shoved him into you, continued on to class as he spoke from down the hall. "C'mon man, leave the freak alone."

You expected him to continue on as well, but he didn't.

"How are things going?"

You'd likely be late for class if he kept the conversation up.

"A lot of this" you shrugged, pointing to your books.

"Yea, me too. The harvest festival is coming up though, I know you love the fall, and all things creepy."

You huffed in amusement, nodding your head.

"It’s nice to have things to look forward to."

He smiled and nodded, looking to his feet.

"Well, I'll see you there. Maybe I'll message you?"

You shook your head uninterested, not holding him to it.

"Sure."

Bending down to pick your sketchbook up off the floor, it was open to a doodle you had done which was rather, well, not appropriate for school.

Slamming your sketchbook shut, you stood and met your locker mirror; your own reflection, as well as the principals, smiling back at you.

Jump scare.

"Good morning, darling."

You spun around in surprise, staring wide eyed.

"Principal Weems, good morning."

She nodded as she looked at you in amusement, hoping to hide her true thoughts about your morning interactions.

"Where is Ms. Currie?"

The principal tilted her head at you, "Out today. I was notified last minute, so I'm your substitute."

Well, it was your lucky day.

The principal never failed to notice your…disinterest.

She didn't fail to notice the way some students picked on you, nor your lack of emotion; your presence of indifference towards men.

She saw herself in you, you were just like her.

That thought brought her both joy and pain.

༻༺

Sitting in the quad, you nervously twisted your fingers as you watched your friend approach.

You had heard, apparently, that it was a 'cannon lesbian experience' to have a crush on your friend.

Man were they right, and man, did it hurt.

She sat with a smile, though you could see that her attention was diverted.

"Hi."

"Hey Mar."

You swallowed, looking her in the eye across the table.

"I um, I was thinking, the Rave 'N is soon, maybe we could go together…"

Just then, you watched Gannon make his way to the table and sit beside your friend.

She squealed lightly, pulling him closer to her.

"Y/N, did I tell you Gannon and I are going to the Rave 'N together?!"

Your heart dropped, but it wasn't anything new, it wasn't at all surprising.

For you knew your friend liked men, but you had thought that maybe, well, you didn’t know; maybe there was hope that someone could be like you.

"Oh, uh, congratulations."

Your heart panged as they looked into each others eyes, smiling in anticipation.

"So, what were you talking about?"

You shook your head and let out a weak chuckle, quickly thinking of an excuse.

"I um, I was thinking maybe we could get ready for the Rave'N together, that could be fun."

Marcella smiled as she stood, linking her arm with Gannon's.

"Sure! I'll see you later!"

The principal, who supervised lunch in the quad, watched your rejection with disappointment and regret.

It dug deep, it brought back memories of her own time at Nevermore; the hate and the heartbreak that she felt, that you felt.

Sometimes, things never changed.

'I don't know if I believe the way I feel is real

And I often wonder if it is

Watching your friend dance with a guy

And pondering whether it's what she truly wishes

Should you step in, or leave her be?

You know you wouldn’t wish it, but does she?

It hurts a bit, a little, a lot; watching her dance so close to him

And maybe she'd dance with you like that too

But not in this life, no, not now,

For she's dancing with him, and you watch from the crowd'

༻༺

You knew it wasn’t the fault of your own; the despair, the regret, the loneliness.

But, you couldn't help but feel it when you were alone, so utterly alone, regardless of the fact that you could be surrounded by people.

They'd never understand the feeling of being so outcast, ironically, the feeling of being so different. The feeling of being told that how you felt was somehow wrong.

You felt it, you felt it wholeheartedly; and how could your heart be wrong?

Your parents, who never meant any harm, contradicted themselves.

Honestly, you couldn't exactly say how, but it hurt in a way that you didn't understand.

You thought maybe they were smarter, more knowledgeable, perhaps wiser than you.

They had always said that you could talk to them, but it was useless, as any attempt made you feel worse, not better.

They had been on this earth for sometime, however, surely they must've experienced the hate, and transformed themselves to some degree?

Wishful thinking.

They could never be so open.

And you think, maybe that's what hurt the most; wishing they could understand, wishing they would care enough to understand.

Alas, wishing was useless.

There were nights where you prayed for an older, wiser being to cry to. Someone who could tell you what to do and how to feel, someone who would listen, someone who would care.

Someone who would see you. Someone who understood, because they felt it themself.

༻༺

You made every attempt to be true to yourself.

To not lie, to let yourself feel what you felt, to get out more; to live.

It was hard to be true to yourself, though, when your friends agreed to accompany you to a pride day in Jericho, and then ditched you.

You resented them, you envied them, they didn't know what it felt like; they never would.

The hurt multiplied ten fold when June came around. The hiding, the thinking, the loneliness, it didn't settle, it didn't stop.

After an hour of scrubbing off your makeup, crying face down into your bed, and ditching your  themed outfit, you arrived in Jericho, the opening ceremony finished.

The town square was very festive, multiple restaurants and shops agreed to host a scavenger hunt, crafted special meals to celebrate, provide smaller fun activities, and fireworks. You were proud of the small town of Jericho, they were trying; as were you.

And although they were trying, these activities were not really fun to do, well…alone.

Alas, that's what you were. Alone.

Passing by the Weathervane, you saw a small group of Nevermore students on their way out. You wanted to join in, but you didn’t know them, not that well.

Peering over at the counter, you found a drink special for the day;

'buy any regular sized drink, get rainbow whipped cream for free.'

You snorted, it was rather cheesy, but cute.

Stepping up to the counter, you ordered an iced coffee.

"Would you like rainbow whipped cream on that?"

You sighed, about to shake your head no when you heard a voice at the other end of the counter.

"Thank you, dear. This looks delicious."

She was standing tall with a red lipped smile, peering down at her hot chocolate; rainbow whipped cream on top.

You had to agree, it did look delicious.

"Yes, uh, whipped cream please."

As soon as your drink was made, you beelined it for the door, hoping she wouldn't see you.

It wasn't that you didn’t want to see her, it wasn't that you didn’t want to talk.

It was that you didn’t want her to see you- alone.

Unsure of where to go next, you stood on the sidewalk and tried your drink; delicious.

The doorbell rang and she stepped out, gazing around the streets.

In a flash, you turned and headed down the sidewalk, away from the activities, away from her.

"Y/N?"

You stopped, slowly turning as if you were unsure of where the voice had come from.

A wave, a smile, and she was next to you in a few strides.

"Darling, you're going the wrong way, the festival is this way!"

She never failed to make you happy, her and her rainbow hot chocolate.

You shrugged, "I uh, I don't really want to participate."

Her head tiled in question as she caught sight of your drink.

"You're not interested in celebrating pride?"

Well, that just made you sound homophobic. You shook your head quickly.

"No, no I am. I just, my friends were supposed to come with me but, they changed their minds I guess."

The principal looked down at you, your head hung in sadness, perhaps shame.

Today was not a day to be sad, it was not a day to be shameful, it was a day to be proud, to celebrate.

"Well, I am here with a few Nevermore students. I am proud to support them, no matter who or what they are."

You couldn't help but smile crookedly in awe, meeting her appreciative blue gaze. She bent down closer to you, softening her voice. "That includes you, love."

Your heart beat fast as you stared in surprise, tears threatened to spill as you felt accepted and cared for, for the first time in a long time.

Taking a sip of your drink with a shaky hand, you fiddled with your jewellery.

The woman saw you thinking, contemplating.

She felt the exact same at your age. Knowing who you were, to an extent, but pushing the feeling away with every chance you got.

You didn’t want to, she knew, you wanted to be proud, she knew, but it was hard when you felt like the only one, the only one in this small town.

"How about we try the scavenger hunt, hmm?"

You looked up at her with a frown, but inside you felt joyful.

"We're probably already behind" you chuckled.

The woman waved a hand in dismissal, "Nonsense. We have a good chance if we work together."

༻༺

1.

You made your way back into the Weathervane, retrieving the first clue to the hunt.

'If the first pride flag was designed in Jericho, it would've been designed here.'

You passed the first clue to her, knowing the first pride flag was designed in 1978. If it had have been designed in Jericho, well, you had three options.

The woman smiled, gasping lightly as she recalled "'Sew it forward', it was established here in the 1960s."

༻༺

2.

You followed the intriguing woman to 'Sew it forward', watching as she retrieved the second clue and stamped the pride book red.

She took the clue between her fingers, narrowing her eyes at the small writing.

'This famous bar in New York City was the site of the 1969 riots, a pivotal event in LGBTQ+ history. Find the Jericho bar that starts with the same letter.'

You racked your brain around the bars in Jericho. You have never been to the bars besides for lunch.

"Stones!"

The principal raised a brow at you, a small smirk on her face.

"What?! Just because I'm not of age doesn’t mean I haven't been. Stones has good pizza."

A loud laugh was heard throughout the fabric shop. You were overjoyed that you could make her laugh freely, albeit most likely sounding stupid.

She headed for the door; and you would follow her anywhere.

༻༺

3.

Arriving at Stones, you found those also attempting the hunt, and those drowning in drinks.

You stamped the book with the second stamp, orange, and retrieved the third clue.

'Locate a pin or item that displays personal pronouns or sexual orientation, both important ways to respect people's identities.'

Leading the way out into the street, you looked around.

You didn’t remember seeing a shop with a prominent pin or badge.

"A pin or badge."

You looked up at the tall woman, her eyebrows furrowed in question.

Raking your eyes over her form, you found a brooch on her jacket, one you knew she wore often.

Lips.

"Where did you get that brooch?"

She peered down at her brooch, straightening it out as a light blush overtook her cheeks.

"Oh, my brooch. I got it at the antique shop, Uriah's Heap."

Uriah's Heap, a shop so very, well, out of the ordinary.

It was your favorite.

You stared at her for a moment hoping she would catch on, until her eyes widened in excitement.

"Let's go!" she smiled, grabbing your hand as she drug you to the shop.

༻༺

4.

You stood outside of Uriah's Heap, finding a large progressive pride flag pin on their window.

You knew this was a scavenger hunt, a race of some sort, but you always loved searching for hidden treasures in the shop that many people didn’t appreciate.

Following the principal, she found her way to the antique jewelry.

Choosing a vintage locket, you placed it on the counter and found a basket of pins staring back at you.

"Hello, did you find something of interest?"

The woman, who you remembered enjoyed chaga tea after working here on outreach day, peered down at you.

"Yes, may I purchase this?"

Peering over at the tall woman, she held a brooch up to you.

"Do you think this is nice, darling?"

A brooch which you thought resembled an eye. Very fitting for the principal and her unique look.

"It's beautiful, it matches your bracelet."

She smiled gratefully down at you, placing it on the counter.

"You are very perceptive" she remarked.

The lady rang up both items, the principal speaking up.

"Oh, I'll purchase that separate."

You shook your head at her with a sly smile, "I got it Principal Weems."

After purchasing your items, the principal retrieved the fourth clue and stamped the book yellow.

'What LGBTQ+ novel, written by Sheridan Le Fanu, preceded Dracula?'

You had read this book recently, an easy clue, really.

"Carmilla"

The woman looked down at you in surprise, nodding her head.

"Great novel, absolutely the best. I'm proud" she winked.

You smiled, gaze landing on the floor bashfully before peering back over at the pins in the basket.

The woman noticed and sorted through them. "Hmm, so many options. Would you like one?"

You watched as she held them in her hands to you, every option they had available.

There were so many colors, so many flags and pronouns.

You hummed and hawed over them, knowing which you wanted to chose, but still unsure.

"Well, I think I like this one."

The principal chose one; red, orange, white and pink stripes staring back at you.

Your mouth opened in shock as you watched her pin it to her jacket.

She smiled mischievously, "What's the matter, darling?"

The lesbian flag, something you didn't see often included in pride merchandise.

"I, uh, are you…" you stuttered.

The woman chuckled, straightening out the pin. "A lesbian?"

You nodded speechless as you stared up at her, thrill running through your veins.

She clasped her hands together and gave one nod, a bright smile as she batted her eyelashes your way.

Her support, her happiness, the confidence that she had, it made you want to cry.

You were so, so happy for her, you were so very proud.

Proud of her for her openness, proud of her for her representation, proud of her for being her true self, and for showing others that it was okay to be gay.

Grateful for her bravery, to show others that they were not alone.

You took a deep breath, "Can I have the same one?"

She dug through the pins, finding the very same flag and holding it out to you, "May I?"

You nodded, presenting your jacket to her.

She pinned in on, running a hand soothingly over your arm.

"I'm so very proud of you, darling."

You breathed in heavily, taking in her sincere and caring smile before meeting her gaze.

"I'm proud of you too, Principal Weems. And I'm so happy for you, thank you."

It was all the principal had wished for on this day, to help at least one person through their journey. To help you present yourself, to help you feel like you deserved to be seen, to help you feel proud.

"Of course, love. Now, where can we find the novel 'Carmilla'?"

Well, the library or bookstore, of course. But, you took a bet that Carmilla may not be at the library, so you headed to the bookstore.

༻

5. Crow bookshop

You retrieved the second last clue, stamping the book green.

'Locate the basket prepared for a festive outdoor meal, filled with colorful snacks and drinks. Perfect for a celebration under the open sky.'

The principal looked down at you in contemplation.  "The Basket, like the restaurant?"

You shrugged your shoulders, unsure of where else they would be referring to.

༻༺

6.

You arrived at 'The Basket', a restaurant just before the beach.

There were a few specials, a fruit basket, a flight of ciders, and a flight of sliders.

You knew the principal was a fan of burgers.

"Are you hungry?"

The tall woman looked down at you, smiling as she read over the special.

"Chipotle, Bacon and cheese, Veggie, Bean, Texas, and Chicken sliders. Would you like to share?"

You looked over the menu, rereading what she had just rhymed off.

Nodding, you asked, "What's a flight?"

She chuckled, ordering the special for you both.

"You're about to find out."

Sitting at a table on the back patio, you settled down across from the principal.

A moment silence, you looked her up and down, questioning many things.

An older, wiser being. A beautiful one who appeared to be pretty open, who seemed like she'd understand, who seemed like she cared.

"How did you know that you liked women and not men?"

The woman raised her gaze to you, lips stretching into a sad smile.

She took a deep breath and smoothed a napkin over her lap.

"Well, when I was your age, this small town was all that I knew, just like you.

I knew that I didn't feel the same as my peers, I never cared to talk about boys, I never really fit in in the way that I hoped to.

One day I realized that I wouldn't at all mind kissing my friend, in fact I longed to" she chuckled. "Representation was lacking, but what little of it there was, it helped me realize how I felt as I grew. It's hard to accept yourself, for many reasons, but when you try to push it away, it doesn't get any better, it never changes."

Your voice was hoarse as you asked in confirmation.  "It never changes?"

She shook her head, "It never changes. You have to decide for yourself.

Do whatever makes you happy, feel whatever makes you happy, no matter how different it is, no matter how alone you may feel."

You pursed your lips as tears built in your eyes, she was right, of course she was.

"Well, it helps knowing I'm not the only one."

The woman nodded her head in agreement, wallowing over the memories of her feeling alone, of her heartbreakingly coming to the realization of how she truly felt, of who she really was.

It brought her sadness, to know that others felt the same; perhaps even worse.

"The journey is not an easy one, it's not for the weak. You have to know that you're strong, and you're worthy, always."

The sliders were placed on your table, averting her attention.

She carefully cut them all in half, holding up a piece of the bacon and cheese as she offered the rest to you.

"Bon appétit."

The principal stamped the book blue and picked up the last clue.

 '"At midnight, in the month of June, I stand beneath the mystic moon." What establishment is named after this poet?'

She looked down at you with a finger pointed your way.

You scrunched your eyebrows, Edgar Allan Poe.

The only establishment could be, "The Poe!"

You and the principal laughed, shouting the answer at the same time.

༻༺

7.

 You headed to The Poe, a small museum and shop on the beach that sold trinkets, drinks, and ice cream.

Principal Weems stamped the last page purple, turning in the scavenger hunt book to the shop.

"Well, congratulations! You were fifth to finish the scavenger hunt."

You laughed, fifth place.

The tall woman smiled down at you with a wink, "We're losers."

You both were, in fact, losers.

After collecting your prizes and ordering ice cream, which the principal insisted on, you made your way to a bench on the beach.

You watched the woman with great interest. An intelligent, interesting woman she was. A powerful, selfless woman. A perceptive woman, a force to be reckoned with.

You hoped and prayed that you would grow up to be at least half the person that she was.

The principal caught your interest with a low chuckle.

"I'm having lots of fun with you, love, but I'm sorry you had to spend the day with your principal."

You tilted your head in confusion; you were not sorry, not one bit.

"I'm not sorry. Today was the best day I've had in awhile. Thank you."

The woman pouted, opening her arms to you; you gladly embraced her.

With a deep breath you pulled away, placing your hand in her soft reassuring one.

"So what happened with your friend? The one you wanted to kiss?"

The principal chuckled remorsefully. "Nothing."

Looking out over the water, her smile turned to a frown.

"I wanted to hold her, to protect her from men with all the fury I had grown.

They don't see her beauty like I do, they don't care to.

But unfortunately, it's the same old story."

She turned to you with sad eyes.

"A girl cries over a girl and that girl cries over a guy, and well…

it goes on and on and on,

and it doesn't stop.

It never stops."

You were just like her, perhaps there was hope for you.

Just then, fireworks lit up the darkness of the beach. All colors of the spectrum were on display, but all you saw was red, orange, white, and pink.

Your attention was then diverted to a girl wearing a Nevermore uniform as she made her way to you.

She waved, "Hi Principal Weems."

She then looked to you. "Hi Y/N"

She spoke with the principal as you analyzed her. You recognized her, but you didn't know her name, so how did she know yours?

The girl's eyes landed on you once again, meeting your gaze. You didn't want to ask.

"Aura, I like your pin." A sly tone to the older woman's voice.

You followed the principals gaze to the pin on Aura's jacket, then you peered down at the pin attached to yours.

"Thanks Principal Weems" she smiled, eyes slowly trailing to the woman's pin, then to yours.

Your eyebrows furrowed, and Aura's raised in surprise.

"Oh, we all have the same pin!"

The principal chuckled, gazing down at you with a bright smile.

"See darling, you're never alone. I promise you're not the only one."

[kaylorstree]

TTPD Gaylor Lyric Analysis

Because there are so many songs, I’m only analysing the gayest ones.

SORRY FOR TAKING SO LONG TO POST THIS!!!!!!

But Daddy I Love Him

Possibly Taylor’s gayest song EVER.

‘These people only raise you to cage you’

A lot of this is about her team, handlers and parents wanting her to stay closeted.

‘These people try to save you because they hate you’

This references judgemental religious people, to whom if she ever came out would want to save her, and pray for her, out of faux concern.

‘Sarahs and Hannahs in their Sunday best’

Again, religious Bible names, but also could reference American conservatives.

‘Told my parents and they came around’

This has to be about being gay. I really doubt her parents wouldn’t have a HUGE problem or be able to influence her that much in terms of problematic men, since she has dated many previously, such as John Mayer and Jake Gylenhall.

‘Tell him to floor it through the fences’

This references Getaway Car, but I also think it references the YNTCD fences, and the other fence meme.

‘I’d rather burn my whole life down’ Dating a man would never ‘burn down’ her entire life.

Down Bad

‘Crying at the gym’

Taylor and Karlie went to the gym all the time. There is so much photographic evidence of this.

Side note (which I think I have previously posted about): I’ve always found it odd how they would be so dressed up for the gym, particularly Taylor. It makes me think they were having lunch or hanging out in secret, for some privacy from the paparazzi maybe?

‘Like I just lost my twin’

Do I really need to elaborate this line?

‘Fuck it if I can’t have him’

I genuinely see no way Taylor couldn’t date any man she really wanted. The only way she REALLY couldn’t have someone would have to be a HUGE reason.

‘Did you take all my old clothes, just to leave me here naked and alone?’

A man wouldn’t take a woman’s clothes, Also, Taylor and Karlie shared a load of clothes back in the day.

Guilty As Sin?

The religious undertones continue, along with the references to heaven and angels.

‘Written mine on my upper thigh, only in my mind’

‘What if the way you hold me, is the thing that’s holy’

‘Without touching his skin, how can I be guilty as sin’

Surely it isn’t a sin by any standards to THINK about having sex with a man? But a woman, YES.

‘I keep my longest locked, in lower case inside a vault’.

This was suggest she has repressed longings she needs to hide, but also suggests ‘loml’ and ‘iwannagetyouback’ are important to listen to and decipher.

Fresh Out The Slammer

‘Fresh out the slammer, I’m running back home to you’

This suggests being imprisoned or trapped. To consider a 6 year relationship as being a prison would be offensive to Joe, but would make sense if this was just another fake relationship she’s trapped in until she can finally be with the person she has been waiting for.

Clara Bow

‘You look like Stevie Nicks, in ‘75, the hair and lips’

At first I didn’t understand why this reference jumped out at me- I then realised that there was this tweet comparing Karlie to Steve Nicks’ ex, Linsday Buckingham.

‘You look like Clara Bow in this life, remarkable’

She sings about women and their features throughout this song.

‘Half moonshine, full eclipse’

Karlie is always referred to the sunshine, hiding the sun would be an eclipse.

Peter

‘In closets like cedar, preserved from when we were just kids’

‘You said you were gonna grow up, then you were gonna come find me’

This suggests waiting for someone when they can finally be together.

‘As the men masqueraded, I hope you’d return’

Men masquerading suggests acting or pretending, just as her beards have been until she can be in a real relationship with the person she actually wants to be with.

iwannagetyouback

‘Wait til you fix your face’

Only a girl would need to fix their face. This also aligns with The 1975 song ‘Girls’, the one that was playing when Taylor and Karlie famously kissed.

‘Curse you out, or pull you into the closet’

I mean, again, when does someone ever literally pull some into a closet? Only figuratively.

Chloe Or Sam Or Sophia Or Marcus

The premise of the song is talking about someone bisexual. It’s impossible to decipher it any other way.

So, she’s outing and implicating one of her previous boyfriends which would be EXTREMELY problematic.

On the other hand, if she was singing about a bisexual woman, that would make sense. There is less stigma surrounding bisexual women compared to men, by some extent.

The Prophecy

‘Don’t want money, just someone who really loves me’

Again, this doesn’t make sense to attribute to a man. Why would she lose money by being in a relationship? Only if it was incredibly controversial, like a queer one.

Also, ‘The Prophecy’ suggests that this is the way things have to be, have been and will be. However, if she changes this it will not be expected for others in the future.

‘I got cursed like Eve got bitten’

‘Was it punishment?’

This alludes once again to sin and religious imagery, but also about how being LGBT can feel like a curse or something unwanted.

‘Looked to the sky’

This suggests God is responsible for the prophecy itself.

‘Pat around when I get home’ alludes to crime and accusations. Perhaps growing up her family were maybe onto her concerning where she’s been and who she’s been with.

Who’s Afraid Of Little Old Me?

‘You don’t get to tell me about sad’

‘You wouldn’t last a year in the asylum where they raised me’

As discussed online, Taylor didn’t grow up with any particular trauma or a bad childhood by any stretch of the imagination. However, the concept of her being closeted on a global scale, to constantly having to lie in order to keep her livelihood is pretty traumatic in my opinion.

A lot of people wouldn’t be able to survive that.

Please tell me what your interpretations are! 🌼🌈

[myfairkatiecat]

Not to be rude but I think it's quite silly to say OP's religious beliefs are irrelevant, and cannot be referenced, because they are not explicitly mentioned in the post being reblogged, when op has stated directly that they are homophobic because of their religious beliefs, and the post being reblogged is being accused of homophobia. Like, if some guy made a post saying "I think no women should be able to have jobs because that makes them less dependent on men and therefore I can't get a girlfriend", then made a separate post saying "Media nowadays glorifies women having jobs too much!! Stay at home mothers need more representation!!!" I think it would be extremely relevant in that situation to say, "Ok, this guy has clearly stated biases in this conversation, which calls into question whether this post is REALLY just about representation in media or whether it's indicative of OP's real life agenda." (Not trying to conflate religion with being an incel here btw, just giving an example of another time when knowing more information about the source of the post changes the way you might interpret it.)

The person reblogging that post didn't just say "OP's username is religious so I'm going to read this as homophobic!!!", they linked a specific post in which OP directly stated "My religion prevents me from accepting LGBT people, and I use my religious texts to justify why being LGBT is wrong." How is that not relevant context for their post griping about how fandom makes everything gay?

Ooh, let’s work within your hypothetical!

Some guy is being misogynistic on their blog but then makes a valid post about how stay at home mother’s don’t get enough representation in media.

If the post that says “stay at home mothers should get more representation!” says absolutely nothing about how women actually shouldn’t ever get jobs, then it’s a good post about the validity of mothers we choose to stay at home and how they deserve more representation in the media! There is therefore nothing wrong with reblogging and agreeing with the post, and going into the reblogs of that post to tell everyone “how hard is it for you to just look at their url and blog and realize they say other stuff that you DON’T agree with?” would be kinda rude.

Reblogging a post boosts the signal on what was said in that post. It doesn’t subscribe you to that person’s entire belief system.

Furthermore, the original poster, Gracie, says very very little about that topic on her blog to keep from offending anyone. I’ve never seen her try to force her beliefs onto anyone. She’s super respectful while also believing, as her religion states, that her God is the one true God. This is a belief claim about a system that would therefore according to her beliefs apply to everyone, but she isn’t forcing anyone to agree with her. The post that was cited in that reblog in which Gracie says explicitly her beliefs regarding the LGBT community and scripture was in a response to an ask that was sent to her. She didn’t even volunteer the information, someone asked her for it, and she replied honestly. I have never seen Gracie be anything but respectful, and if you knew her, you’d know she’s super kind and never would want anyone to feel invalidated or uncomfortable because of something she posts.

No one, including Gracie, is forcing you to agree with her religious beliefs. If they make you uncomfortable, I highly recommend not scrolling through a Christian blog. When people are reblogging her post, they aren’t even necessarily saying they agree with everything she’s ever posted. That topic is entirely separate. If you want to converse civilly with Gracie about why she believes what she believes, I recommend being respectful to her. If you’d rather ignore her all together, I point you towards the block button.

If somebody’s religion or belief system makes you uncomfortable enough that you don’t want to engage with any of their content, that’s your choice, but the people in the reblogs aren’t being “dumb” for not “checking who the source is,” they’re just saying they agree with the post they agree with.

Imagine agreeing with a post you agree with! Novel concept.

In short, posts are independent pieces of text. Reblogging a post doesn’t say anything except “I agree with this piece of text and want to share it.” If that piece of text doesn’t say anything about OP’s religion, then their religion isn’t relevant to the post. It’s as simple as that.

I hope you have a blessed day <3

[olderthannetfic]

I don't even think this is the type of thing you would normally get Asks about, but at this point I genuinely can't think of anyone better to come to and ask for their opinion.

I don't know if any of your followers have seen this situation as it's been occurring, but this massively popular mobile game that's been blowing up recently (called Love and Deep Space) has incurred a lot of drama and discourse as of a few days ago.

So LADS is an otome game, with a visibly femme/female protagonist who romances the male love interests. And a few days ago, the dev team behind LADS introduced this rule to all of their official groups and servers like Facebook and Discord: "Absolutely no BL materials are allowed to be posted or discussed in official spaces"

So, naturally, quite a few people are upset about what is basically a "no gays allowed" rule being forced onto the fandom. Because the "no BL" rules includes the posting of ANY queer content with "official" #LADS tags. Which for platforms like Twitter is absolutely unreasonable. They're stating that fanart of M/M ships can't be posted with any tags for the source material? It's ridiculous.

There's been people trying to defend it, saying things like "oh it's because of CN censorship laws" despite the fact that LADS isn't a CN game and the company isn't a CN company. Or "they only banned queer stuff in their official Discord and official Facebook group and for the official LADS tags on socmed!" even though that is still censorship and erasure of queer content (and somehow the fact that it's officially sanctioned makes it okay?)

But the worst part is the fact that there’s been an EXPLOSION of aggressive homophobia within the fanbase. It's as if all the cishet women who play the game were just waiting for their chance to go mask off, because the second those "no BL" rules were put in place the rampant harrassment and bullying started. People are getting attacked for M/M ship fanart, people are getting attacked for having male self-inserts or male MC or OC designs, and several artists have already been harrassed into deleting all of their artwork and leaving the fandom.

There's now a LOUD number of fans screeching that otome games "are only for girls" and that anyone even slightly queer or masc-leaning "doesn't belong in otome fandoms" and "needs to go play something else"

I've seen baseless accusations that "men want to force us to play as a gay male MC!" and "gay men are demanding that LADS turn the female MC male!" when absolutely no one anywhere has ever said anything close to that.

I have tried telling these fans that queer people, including queer men, have ALWAYS played otome games, that gay men and queer people have ALWAYS been a part of the otome community from the very beginning, but anyone who deviates even slightly from the new majority of "no gay shit allowed, otome is for straight women only and everyone else kys" gets immediately shouted down and harrassed/attacked. I know a lot of people have deleted the game and have stopped playing because of both the official "no gays" rule and also the extremely toxic and homophobic fanbase.

I was wondering if you knew about any resources (blogs, articles, anything) talking about the history of queer people playing otome/dating sim games, or even if you happen to know anything anecdotal about it yourself. Because we've ALWAYS been here, otome games have never been JUST for cishet women. I'm also just wondering what your/your followers' thoughts are about this whole mess in general.

--

Oof. I don't play many games of that sort, so I don't know a ton about their history, but there has often been pointless beef between the more self inserty types and the more m/m shipping types.

I don't think you need evidence that people besides cishet women consume media X. It should be self-evident from being a human who lives in the world. These people are denying it because they don't want it to be true, not because they do or don't have evidence.

"LOL, you're a homophobe in 2024? Criiiinge!" is the only appropriate type of response to these idiots. Facts won't help.

[missmastectomy]

hello, pretty freshly detrans here. i finally understand what all those ‘annoying cis people’ meant when they said gender isn’t a feeling. like, actually, i fully comprehend it now. if you unpack all those supposed ‘gender feels’ it all wraps back to stereotypes and gender roles, whether you identify as a soft boy or a big rugged stereotypical man like i did. because that’s all gender is. and holy shit, i feel duped!

you’re telling me i could’ve spent all this time being a hot hairy butch who defied the social expectations placed on women but i was so entrenched in the idea that i was somehow a man, which is DEFINITELY a real innate category of being and not a made up social class assigned to a given sex to give them more power (sarcasm) that i lost half my family to it? that i argued with people i know and love over it? that i experienced trauma in the church because of it? only to realize that gender itself isn’t even real, something i knew the whole time but hypocritically refused to apply to myself. i’ve been scammed. i dressed up my personality in a blue box and told myself it was a boy. fuck.

at least there’s freedom in sight now. sorry to rant in your inbox, i hope it’s relatable if nothing else.

I completely understand. I also used to feel annoyed when “cis” people said they don’t know what feeling gender is like. The thing is, though, trans people’s gender feelings are actually very easy to understand once you get to the bottom of what dysphoria is. Often trans people will describe their gender identity as stemming from dysphoria, a disconnect between the mind and body. The discomfort and desire to be the other sex is so strong that people transition and the vast majority of trans people describe that as the state of “being a woman/man,” instead of “hey, I’m a bio female/woman transitioning in order to cope with dysphoria.”

I talked about it before, but if you understand why women get harmful cosmetic surgeries because they cannot stand living in their bodies, or why anorexics will hurt themselves in pursuit of a perfect body, you already understand half of trans identity. People often try to reinvent themselves when they’ve been rejected or traumatized. People often try to mold themselves into someone else, someone you were “always meant to be,” but ultimately never will, because the image you’ve created in your mind is completely fictitious.

Most trans people operate like this. Ime there are vanishingly few trans people who recognize that their sex doesn’t change and that they are ultimately still men or women. Most consider gender to be innate, therefore they were always actually men or women. Few acknowledge that it is basically a lifestyle choice. Honestly, a poor one at that, considering the adverse effects it has on your body and social life.

Some transmeds cite sex dysphoria as the reason for transition, but where does it come from? They often argue that transsexuals have brains that map out the body of the opposite sex and that causes the dysphoria, but there’s poor evidence for this. Ask a trans person how they knew they were trans and they will say 1) they always felt uncomfortable in their body/didn’t connect with others of their sex or 2) I’m a boy/girl but engaged in stereotypical activities of the opposite sex. It’s really just a bunch of made up nonsense to explain the suffering a lot of gnc, gay, whatever people experience.

A lot of trans people don’t realize that everyone else also has “gender feelings,” but they just don’t describe it with the language trans people do. Because of this disconnect, trans people often take this as evidence that their gender identities are real and infallible. But if you talk to, say, a woman who was very masculine as a child and didn’t fit in with girls, you will literally hear the same feelings of discomfort that most transmen describe. The difference is that these women grew out of it or learned to cope and accept themselves. Most transmen do not.

The conditions for trans identity to form are a combination of wrong place wrong time. I have a hard time not feeling sympathetic for the old fashioned transsexual types who recognize bio sex because I understand how debilitating dysphoria can be, but the religious mumbo jumbo speak of the modern trans movement is insufferable and harming thousands, if not millions, of people. It’s time to come back down to reality.

[peacocks-pantomime]

In an empty theatre, teardrops echo like the sound of applause.

All I do is lay down a bet~ It’s out of my control if my opponent decides to lay down their life, isn’t it?

After the chaos, not much was left of Sigonia-IV, yet there were two malnourished children-- Kakavasha and his Big Sis, nearly perishing from the elements on the ruined planet.

One day, there was finally salvation in the form of a light-- a light, and a beautiful woman dressed in elegant clothing peering down at them under a wide-brimmed hat.

She told them that they would be safe, that they could trust her-- and what other option did they have? She looked so different, and seemed so kind compared to the others that have mistreated them... Big Sis had been willing to give her a chance.

And so, Kakavasha was whisked away to another world, offered clean clothes and a room of his own. He fell asleep immediately, curling up on the soft carpet of the floor.

When he awoke, his Big Sis wasn't there. But they said she would be. They told him she would be. So he wanders through the strange building against his better judgement.

It wasn't long before he heard muffled words coming from the ajar door of a bright room. He snuck over to peek into the room and he saw people dressed in simplistic black clothing, taking notes on some sort of devices and huddled around a bed.

And on the bed lay the body of his dead sister. But those people would never acknowledge her as such; to them she was only an experiment. One of the last Sigonians of the Avgin race, a miraculous discovery. And they weren't going to tell him. They were going to hide it from him.

Blinded by the emotions swirling around inside of him, Kakavasha threw himself through the doorway, grabbing the first sharp tool in sight, and ended the lives of all the professionals in that wretched room one by one.

He'd cried the whole time. He couldn't identify the emotion the tears stemmed from-- whether from sadness at the loss of his sister, or from the rage burning bright-- but as the boy stood there, he dropped his weapon, wrapping his arms around himself in horror...

He didn't feel guilty for what he'd done.

That sort of control-- the ability to watch the life of another mortal slip away between his fingers and know that he was the cause...

It was empowering.

Notes from the moderator:

~ Mod also runs the @aventurine-official rp account, so the format is her own and is not plagiarized :)

~ Art (2nd top picture and pfp) and concept credit goes to @day-night-darlix! Their original post is here

~ This Aventurine exists in the same universe as @the-truth-of-nothingness

A famous musical artist and actor, known for masking his true self.

Roams around Penacony but travels the cosmos to perform

Is quite sadistic and will bet others on their life-- resulting in their death, because he never loses.

Longs to destroy the IPC as vengeance for the lies and betrayal from which his sister suffered

The glistening teardrop hanging around his neck allows him to mesmerize others with a glance, if he so wishes-- the glow of his eyes is interconnected

(I might add more details later, or link a headcanon post!)

Guidelines:

~ Keep the asks sfw if you please, suggestive is okay!

~ No random links in asks unless they are links to other Tumblr posts (if they are there, please specify what they are)

~ Be kind, please. Any hateful comments related but not limited to racism, sexism, homophobia, ableism, ageism and transphobia will not be tolerated here and you may be blocked.

~ All ships (age-appropriate) are welcome. (I personally believe Aventurine is gay as hell, so he will have a noticeable interest in men versus women).

~ Try to avoid sending DMs to the mod unless you are another mod

~ Anons are more than welcome here! You may have a personalized tag and everything :)

List of current anon signoffs here

Key (if applicable):

" " : for dialogue

* * : for movements

( ) : ooc

Tags:

#ace of spades ♠️ : Art reblogs

#the flip of a coin 🪙 : Random thoughts and calm moments

#trump card 🃏 : Asks from anons and others

#life on the line 🎲 : Interactions with Honkai Star Rail blogs

#melancholy theatre 🎭 : Interactions with other members of the Masked Fools

#dear doctor 🍷 : Interactions with / mentions of the Veritas Ratio in his universe

Masterlist post of Honkai Star Rail-official blogs linked here

[justsomethough]

Just on a rant here.

Love Eddie to bits, but let's be real here, Eddie and Shannon had flaws and big ones. They don't listen to each other well. Did they love each other? Yes they did, at what level, most probably platonically, in which they mayhaps confused it as in love, IN LOVE, not in love platonically.

I can see why Shannon would be the bad guy here, leaving her son at a young age, and never contacting them again. But Eddie did the same. He went and ran away into the Army. Which he said it himself. He disguised the run away ruse, with saying that he was doing this for them, since they need the money, which is true but also they could have talked about it as Shannon argued, he didn't.

I'm not saying that Eddie is at fault, what I'm saying is that both character are complicated, and yes I don't see where honestly Eddie's character writing is going (honestly I see him as a queer men at this point, because he has been into women for some time, that's just me tho, don't kill me)

I have a problem with people saying that Eddie didn't do anything wrong when he did. He ran away as much as Shannon did, and Shannon tried, which he didn't reciprocate. Again, at this point the both of them are 100% at fault, and the real victim here is their son. We don't have to get to that, but like, yeah, i don't like seeing people putting Eddie in this like oh he's the better person cause Shannon didn't call for 3 years bla bla bla, he's not, and that's the point of it, they were both human. With so many flaws trying their best.

I interpret Eddie saying that he's broken and where his letter was as a way to say that the love that he thought he had with Shannon was the same as what Shannon felt for Chris, a family. He probably felt that he didn't matter enough to Shannon to not have a letter, he probably thought he wasn't enough, something that he has felt throughout his life, probably stemmed from his family bond with his dad. Bet you, he felt the need to step up and get married to Shannon because that's what was he was taught by his dad, to step up, why he always follows his gut on what he believes is right. Which a 100% has a pro on his morality and beliefs, but also cons of course.

Shannon probably felt that way too about Eddie when he ran away to the army, never looking back. She was grieving for her mom, so i think she didn't really thought what Eddie was really going through in the War zone. She was also probably stressed and trying to figure out on taking care of Chris. So she couldn't see it. Eddie's scar and troubles from War and childhood.

To give an honest prediction for season 8, I feel like Eddie's about to go wild, either wilder than season 3 Eddie, or as wild as season 1 Buck 👀👀👀. Also I want to know what happens with Marisol?? Does her brother comes and like kicks Eddie's ass??? Or Marisol herself does lmao. Honestly, season 8 Eddie should be single and hot and healing 👀👀 and then last episode would be a nice segue way to him considering/finding out he's gay (maybe for Buck/or someone else, but maybe buck cause proximity and come on he's Buck, he has been with Eddie, For Eddie and always think that Eddie is Enough for himself and the people around him, so yeah Buck probably).

And Season 9 is the season he's like, damn Buck is hot, oh okay, yeah he is hot. Okay, I like him, maybe a little too much. Buck doesn't see it, but Bobby does, he's like are you okay Eddie?? You seem weird and he's like nah I'm good yeah. And he's leering at Buck, and Bobby is picking it up. And one time idk, Eddie starts to blurt out about how cool Buck is, Hen and Chim are normal about it, but Bobby, bobby sense it but he doesn't pressure it, he tells Athena but Athena's like, nah, I don't think so, isn't that just normal buck & Eddie. Bobby says no. It's not. Bobby observes, and he notices the yearning and lingering and small smile so he tells Eddie after the shift in the locker room. You need to tell the people you love, you love them, if not there not going to know Eddie. You know this better than anyone. And Eddie obviously in denial, saying yeah of course I say it to my son (he knows it's not about Chris).

And may I dare say something happens to Buck, cause the show writers loveeeeees to hurt Buck (I personally don't like this) or they are in trouble, and then he blurts to Buck that he loves him and caresses his cheeks (let me, the writer, die) and buck is like in shock. Yada yada yada they are safe and sound and it's awkward. Eddie goes home and starts questioning. He is in the kitchen cleaning on nothing, he just needs to do something cause he's worried and traumatic event happened, oh no, how is he suppose to sleep. He want to call Buck but after what he said, what is he suppose to do. He hears a knock at his back door, he opens it and lo and behold, it's not buck. Just kidding, it is. Cause I believe buck knows Eddie best, he knows when he needs to be there for him. So he comes in and have the awkward, are you okay? Are you good? Conversation. Dreaded conversation.

Oh about Tommy, let's be real, it was just a fling, just like his relationships before, he tries but it doesn't work out. Not how buck wants it anyways. He dates but it doesn't go as planned so by season 9 he is devastatingly single, hot, buff and buff as he can be 👀👀.

Anyways, they talked and hugged and Eddie is like about what I said... He stops cause he doesn't want to say he meant it in a bro way, cause let's be real WHO WOULD SAY THAT LOOKING SO LOVINGLY INTO SOMEONE'S EYES AND CHEEK CARESSING in a bro way, that's a little too much don't you think. He also doesn't want to admit it, not like he battled his feeling for months on end right?? He did, it was like and workout session non stop all day everyday for months, and when Bobby said what he said, he was taken aback and finally admitted it to himself.

But yeah, why admit right, anyways, they were hugging yeah, and Eddie almost blurted out don't think about it. But Buck cuts him off, about what you said, looks at him in the eye with THE SAME SAME LOVING EYES. (GOOD GOD I'M HAVING A CARDIACT ARREST, HELP ME, CPR ME STAT) and he says, I Love You Too Eddie, and holds Eddie's face. he kisses Eddie, ever so tenderly and lovingly cause let's be real, Eddie is lovely and amazing. He deserves the world and the world is Evan Buckley.

Eddie's in awe, cause excuse me?? What Am I suppose to do?? And Bucks jokingly says, also I'm saying that not in the bro way and chuckles, oh uh, we woo, Eddie is in love again oh noooooo.

And there in the kitchen looking at each other, near the sink and Chris walks in cause he is thirsty, it's almost like 2 am. He sees buck, buckk what are you doing here this late. And buck is like, ouh you know just talking to your dad, saying it so playfully and Eddie just looking at him eyes wide. And Chris walks out after talking a little with buck, and buck jokes do you think he saw and heard? And Eddie is like idk buck you think (Chris didn't btw, thank god cause honestly Eddie isn't ready for that, cause he's not out of the glass closet just yet). And that happens in the middle of the season. The rest of the season is just the secretly dating, and hanging out, they think that they are being slick, but people are noticing, Bobby, whew, he knows, cause he knows buck and Eddie, and they are weird, together this time. It's like they are lingering stares at each other and yearning stares at each other instead of, just one of them. It's kinda stuffy and god weird. Cause he's not use to it, secrets between them. Chim and Hen? They notice but it's more towards they kinda touchy aren't they (this is mostly Hen, cause Chim usually minds his own business) and then hen says, they look at each other a little too oggly eyes. And Chim notices, of course he tells maddie, and they discuss together, at dinner, family dinner with Karen and Hen. And they do a bet, Karen and chim bets against them, and maddie and hen bets that they are dating cause look at the facts right, oggly eyes, touchy, whispering, flirting?! I mean maddie points out, Buck probably has a crush oh Eddie since he met him.

So they observes but nothing conclusive. They try to pit Eddie and Buck, trying to figure out, which annoyed, the now back appointed captain Nash, yeah Gérard is gone, dusted, maybe died, heart attack cause the man's a dinosaur, they probs said something and he just gag, drop dead and dies, there was an investigation, but concluded he died of an heart attack yada2 sad episode. Done and dusted, got some power struggle with new appointed captain, but alas Bobby still got it back cause we love Bobby. They are family (In real life that'd be toxic)

Bobby got to know about the bet and joins, which of course he joins team Maddie and He, cause he notices more than them, cause he is the Bobby Nash, all seeing eyes for the group I'd say.

For the rest of the day, they are all figuring out are they dating or not, looking for signs, they are a little weird about it especially Hen and Chimney, cause why not, they are The Chaotic duo. They are asking interrogating Eddie while buck is away, Ravi's there and he is confuse, why are they so into his dating life, and God he almost blurted out something, but was cut off by Bobby cause trying not to lose the bet aight.

The whole episode is just them investigating and interrogating, it's stupid, chaotic and funny cause it's them, it's the 118 clique lmao.

Anyways, at the end of the episode, Ravi asks Bobby what that was all about, are you guys trying to figure who's he dating?, isn't it Buck, I saw them on a date the other day and kissing in the car was not stalking, was just there with friends. Bobby just looks at him and smile. They were on a date, at this point he wasn't thinking about the bet (okay maybe he was a little bit), he was just happy for them, finding joy in each other is so comforting and amazing, they both deserved it. He tells Ravi about the bet and ask him if he's joining. Of course Ravi does, Bobby says he'll split with him.

Anyways, I personally not sure how they find out, but they do. Okay maybe, they all hang out with each other after theit shift, and Eddie and Buck goes, hey we have something we need to tell you guys. And the announce it, they say, we are dating, together, been a while, almost 8 months now. And everybody looks at each other, cause remember the bet? Yeah, anyways. They all go from silent to omg, that's great!! Finally!! Omg. Congratulations was in order. They toast and everything, and then at the back Karen and Chim grimace cause they lost. And Maddie, Bobby and Hen won (and Ravi, but nobody knowss, he knows).

They ask Eddie, does Chris know? He doesn't, honesty they don't know how to say it to him, they don't want him to panic and get mad cause let's be real, a lot of Eddie's relationship ends, badly and everyone leaves, and Chris does not want that for Buck, buck can't leave, he promised him.

Anyways, they say the plan is to tell everyone in stages, first the 118 cause they don't think they can hide it, then close friends, then family, cause... Well families are a complicated bunch right, as well as Eddie's religious guilt. Anyways, its the second last episode, they are in the kitchen, cause why not, this is after they told Carla about their relationship cause Carla is like a family and close friend.

They are near the sink again, oh no, it's the sink and Buck has pinned Eddie near the sink, curse bucks height. They are kissing, just a little bit feverishly, cause Chris is in the house, they kinda forgot and Chris walks in on them, his glass falls to the ground and they look at him a little horrified. Cause not the best way to tell your child about your relationship. Chris dashes into his room. He is confuse, buck is his dad dearest friend, and they are kissing, he's not appalled to two men kissing, he's just a teenager trying to figure out what's going on. The last time it happened he thought his mom reappeared from the dead. And he's confuse again and angry cause he's confused. It's a whole thing, cause he is a teenager.

He starts to throw things in his room cause he is confused and angry and don't know where to put his feelings cause he is a teenager. Buck is calming Eddie down cause he's panicking, not again Eddie thought, he's going to leave me again. Then they hear scream and crashing, they quickly go to Chris's room it's locked, they bust it open and they Chris banging on his stuff angry. Eddie's heart is breaking because he can see himself in Chris and he doesn't want that. Like father like son, such loving and suffering.

Buck grabs Chris and hugs him and begs him to stop, seeing this Eddie goes to him and ask Chris to look at him and calm down, calm down Chris. Look at me please. You're okay, you're safe and Chris starts wailing and they both hugged him for the rest of the night.

The next day buck makes breakfast for them and talks to Eddie about what happened, he apologised, if he was more careful we could've avoided it. And Eddie says, no, we couldn't it's as much as you fault as it is mine. I mean we did predict this would happen right? God. It's so complicated. So buck suggested that they don't see each other for a little bit, we'll see each other at work, but i think Chris needs some time to process.

That's what they exactly do. Cause they love Chris. They meet each other outside, but it's not the same, they are worried. The last episode of season 9, Chris says to his dad, I want to see buck, can I go and meet buck. And Eddie says yes, of course you can buddy. When do you want to go? Can I see him tonight? Alone. Eddie looks at Chris, worried, but if that's what he wants then it's fine, it's buck, Chris loves buck. So of course it's fine. Okay, I'll call buck and tell him. You don't need to, I already called him. And silence. Okay Eddie says. He's hoping and praying to a God he knows is there that nothings going to happen.

Chris is at Bucks apartment, Carla sent him there cause Eddie took the shift that buck was suppose to be on. It's a little awkward, but this is Buck, he tries his best to make sure that Chris is having fun. Buck tries to get him to play a new game he knows Chris would like, they are sitting in bucks sofa that his mom bought for him. Buck, do you love my dad? Of course I do Chris, does my dad live you the same? Of course he does. Are you sure? Buck, i don't want you to leave. Ah, there it is. Buck puts down the game and looks at Chris. Chris, I promise you I wouldn't leave you okay. Even when you don't like my dad anymore, or when my dad doesn't like you anymore?

I won't Chris, even if we fight, I won't leave you, cause you're important to me too Chris, no matter what.

That's a promise?

Yes that is. Buck held his pinky out and intertwined it with Chris.

Now you can't leave me buck if you do, I'm going to have to keep you in a basement.

Oh you will? Yes I will. Okay okay, you can but you have to beat me first.

And they play game for the rest of the night and talked.

The next day before bed, Chris goes to his dad's room.

Dad, can we talk?

Sure buddy, what is it.

Eddie looks at Chris he sat on his bed. And he gestures to his dad to come and sit with him.

I wanted to apologised for how I reacted to you and Buck the other day.

Eddie's heart swell cause what is he apologising for.

No, no it's, okay, it wasn't your fault. We shouldn't have sprang that up on you so suddenly.

Yeah, i was kinda weirded out that you were kissing.

Two men kissing? You were weirded by that?

No dad! You and Buck! It wasn't disgusting, it was just... Well weird, cause you guys never done that before and you suddenly did. And... I didn't want him to leave... Like the others did.

Eddie heart sank, god what has he done to his boy.

( I personally don't know how to have this conversation cause I'm from a family where we don't talk about feelings)

He apologised and hugged him. And they hugged each other for some time.

He can come back to the house again by the way, I miss having him around.

If you want it, sure.

Love you dad.

Love you too, Chris.

Now that's that out of the picture, Chris knows, they are all good right? Rightttttt. Nahh, now Eddie needs to think how to come out to his religious family, which I honestly don't have any idea, but it'll probably be whoppeee doo lotsa stuff thrown around, maybe we'll finally meet Eddie's sisters and one of his sisters is like yeah, i knew you were queer cause of some thing that happened one time. But his parents and abuela?? Tia pepa?? Prob will take time. That's season 10 Eddie's problem honestly, not mine, at least he is with the love of his life weehooo have a great day everyone. That's the end of the rant.

[revolu]

Were John Laurens and Alexander Hamilton lovers?

I think I need to state the obvious here; no one knows 100% if they were lovers or just friends. We have reasonable evidence to believe that they were lovers, or at least had something romantic between them... However, we can also see that they refer to each other as "friends".

I posted a video about this on my tiktok, but I'll post this here as well; in text format instead of a slideshow.

Here is basically what I'll talk about:

History of male friendships

In ancient times, men were extremely close. They valued male friendships a lot, even more than their relationship between their wife. This was because men believed women to be inferior to men. This belief is still present today in many parts of the world, and it was, of course, a common thing to believe in the 18th century – the timeline in which Laurens and Hamilton were alive.

Men would embrace each other, hold hands, sleep in the same bed if necessary, and even go as far as kiss. Kissing your male friend, as a male, on the cheek was nothing unusual. It is not only a greeting in some cultures, it is also a sign of affection and to indicate friendship, family relationship, or to confer congratulations, to comfort someone, or to show respect... It was not generally seen as anything romantic.

Although homosexuality was highly looked down upon, people were not really as scared to be labeled as "gay" as people are today. And feelings of love were not as strictly labeled as either "platonic" or "romantic" as they are today either.

In many instances, male friendships, in the 1700s-1800s, had a similar intensity as a romantic relationship between a female and a male. Many do not know this, and therefore assume close male friends were lovers... Which is probably the case for Hamilton and Laurens.

Men would use very affectionate and endearing words to each other, which is seen in the Hamilton-Laurens letters. However, there is always a line to cross. And many think that Hamilton and Laurens definitely crossed that line.

Hamilton & Laurens

Before we dig deeper into Laurens' relationship with Hamilton, we need to discuss his supposed homosexuality.

John Laurens didn't seem to necessarily express any attraction towards women. We know this, not only because of his sexist behaviors and his lack of effort to humble his wife, but we can also read about this in his father's letters.

"Master Jack is too closely wedded to his studies to think about any of the Miss Nanny's"

Henry Laurens writes.

This basically says that John was too focused on his studies to show any interest in women.

However, he was a teenager at that time, and not every teenager starts developing feelings for people at the same age.

Henry did not seem so happy with John's lack of interest in women, but we also do know that Henry was most certainly emotionally manipulative towards John, which we also can read in letters. But I will not discuss that now, that is for another post.

Anyways, John expressed a fair lot of sexist behaviors and opinions, even towards his own sisters. Most men had some sort of sexist belief, because as said before, men believed women to be inferior. But it's almost as if Laurens showed more toxic masculinity and seemed to be quite strict on the subject. This, most likely, plays a part in Laurens' supposed homosexuality.

Laurens hid the fact that he had a wife (and a child) from Hamilton for nearly two years. This awakes questions. Why did he do that? To get a better chance with Hamilton, or to try and forget his family? Or was it simply because he didn't want to share such a fact about himself to someone new, and never found the opportunity to tell him?

Nevertheless, we know for a fact that Laurens only married his wife, Martha Manning, after she got pregnant. He married her to keep illegitimacy of their child, but also out of pity.

John writes to his uncle;

"...Pity has obliged me to marry.."

When Laurens left for war, he left his pregnant wife in a whole other country... In December 1780, when congress chose John to be a special minister to France and had him travel there, Martha decided to travel with her daughter to reconnect with him upon hearing his arrival in France.

But apparently, John completed his mission and returned to the United States before Martha was able to see him.

Martha Manning died in France, 1781, during this trip. Only a year before John himself died. Their child, Frances, was sent to live with her aunt.

I don't know if he had the opportunity to bring his wife with him when he went home to America to fight, but he certainly did not make any (known) effort to visit his wife or daughter while in France.

However, a thing worth to know, is that Laurens only ever called his wife "Dear Girl", and Hamilton "Dear Boy"... As far as we know. We know that Hamilton was special to Laurens, but was his wife really special? Or was it just an affectionate name out of pity, because he felt bad? Did he grant her that name to make her feel loved? Whatever the reason is, this supports Laurens and Hamilton being lovers, or at least having some kind of chemistry, seeing as Laurens didn't call his other close friends such names.

Many believe that Laurens was gay, mostly because of his extreme lack of affection towards women, which his sexist beliefs could've played a major role in, but also because of his letter correspondence between Alexander Hamilton, and a guy named Francis Kinloch. We will never know his true sexuality though.

Time to talk about Hamilton, his wife, and his supposed bisexuality.

Alexander Hamilton was born out of wedlock in Charlestown, in the Colony of Nevis, in the British West Indies in 1755 or 1757. His father left when he was about 10 (depends on what birth year you go off), and his mother died when he was around 12-13, leaving both him and his brother orphaned.

Contrary to popular belief, Alexander did have a number of parental figures growing up. But unlike Laurens, who was born and raised to be that typical man of their time, and whose father chose his career path, Alexander was more "free".

This is a possible factor to Alexander's openness, the way he started his first (survived) letter to Laurens with the famous;

"Cold in my professions, warm in my friendships..."

Laurens was pretty disciplined, and was probably taught a number of different things on how to be the ideal man.

Hamilton, however, didn't have the same opportunity, and his environment growing up was very different from Laurens'.

We can see in letters when comparing them that Hamilton seems much more affectionate. Although Laurens uses affectionate language as well, he seems more "professional" and "careful" than Hamilton.

Another thing to note is that Hamilton was often described as feminine.

"...something almost feminine about his gentleness and concern for the comfort and happiness of other people..."

These are reasons as to why people believe Hamilton was bisexual, especially because he expressed love (true love, mind you) towards Eliza as well! Reading the letters between him and Eliza, it is evident that he really did love her.

Note that Hamilton was a flirtatious man, and that his letters to Laurens seem almost as flirtatous as his letters to Eliza. Even if his flirtatious language calmed when he met Eliza, the years before that he definitely expressed something more "romantic" and flirtatious in his letters to Laurens.

And supposedly, someone(?) had asked Hamilton if he was bisexual (in other terms, of course). I don't know whether or not this is true, but it is certainly another reason as to why people think he was bisexual.

Did Alexander really invite Laurens to have a threesome with him and Eliza on their wedding night?

The simple answer for this is "probably not."

But this obviously needs more digging.

Hamilton writes to Laurens;

"I would invite you after the fall to Albany to be witness of the final consummation"

The word "consummation" is most commonly used to refer to two people having sexual intercourse to seal their relationship/marriage. It was quite common, especially around Christians, to do this.

Hamilton is most certainly referring to this, and he is inviting Laurens to "witness" it. A.k.a., to watch. (which wasn't too unusual!)

Hamilton, in the same letter, mentions that Eliza loves Laurens in the American manner and not the French manner, meaning that she loves him as a friend and nothing more. So the possibility of Hamilton inviting Laurens to have a threesome with them is pretty low... Especially because Hamilton explicitly wrote "witness", and not "join". So, he most likely did NOT invite Laurens to have a threesome with him and his wife.

So, were Hamilton and Laurens lovers? (Conclusion)

Considering the little knowledge we have, we cannot say for sure.

Historians say that the possibility of them being lovers, at least before Hamilton met Eliza, is big!

Personally, I think it is very possible that they were lovers, or at the very least had some sort of romantic relationship. A lot of things point to a romantic bond, however a lot of things also point to them being only close friends.

But from my perspective, the romantic signs outnumber the platonic ones in their first years of friendship. It is clear, however, that Alexander did really love Eliza, and you can see an obvious change in Alexander's language towards John after Eliza came into his life.

To summarize their relationship with a bit of comedy, I'd say it's more like a high school crush type of situation; Alexander and John had a crush on one another, which possibly turned into something more serious, before Alexander fell in love with the new girl at school, and they ended up together, later marrying. High school sweethearts.

But in all seriousness, my friend actually worded it amazingly good;

"they were just real close friends trying to serve one anothers ‘needs’ till they found the one"

Which is a very good and possible theory!

But, is it okay to ship Lams?

I'd say so, yes.

Shipping historical figures is weird asf if the people didn't have any romantic chemistry and so... Which Laurens and Hamilton seemed to have.

Therefore, I think it is okay to ship Lams. But of course is it also okay to not ship Lams, and to dislike it! We will never know for sure if they were lovers or not, and we cannot say that they 100% weren't lovers or 100% were. Sadly, a lot of letters have been destroyed/not found, and we can only know so much.

Feel free to ask questions or add anything, whether it's supporting them being just friends or the possibility of them being lovers.

I know I haven't covered everything in this post, like Hamilton joking about his own pp in the first (survived) letter to Laurens, so if you're interested in reading that; go on my tiktok (@historicalhamsandwich) and check out my slideshow about this there. (I also cover more letters)

With that said, have a good day/night!! :)

[ssreeder]

I'm so looking forward to iroh and zuko properly talking and seeing irohs reaction to zuko being gay.

Like we all know he doesn't agree with the fire nation rn but how will he react?

Will he not support him cause sokkas a guy? Will he not support him because it's SOKKA? Will he accept him? Will he reveal he's known for years zuko was gay?

Especially with everything that happened with zhao, regarding to what jee said to bato on their date. (Which is a very understandable perspective, zuko just got out of this very sexually traumatising situation and almost immediately starts a relationship (his first relationship) with sokka, but then again it is a very unique situation)

One thing I love about some atla fics is how they portray the FNs thoughts on queerness, cause on one hand they were one of the only country's (I think) that treated men and women the same but then again it's also the fucking fire nation.

And I also think zukos whole canon arc can be very comparative to queerness,

His dads an asshole and after speaking out against him he throws him out, and zuko try's for 3 years to regain his father's love and acceptance, and then faced with the opportunity of regaining it takes it immediately regardless of who or what he may hurt (iroh, his own morals etc) but once he makes it back home realises how fucked up everything is and eventually confronts his dad and openly tells him he doesn't agree with him then runs aways.

I also wonder if iroh secretly knows jee is queer it doesn't seem that likely to me but it also is iroh so who knows.

<3

I do think Iroh’s reaction will be a big moment for not only the story but for Zuko’s character development. Right now, Zuko’s technically still a prisoner, holding himself there by assuming Iroh will not understand or judge him when in reality he’ll never know what his uncle is thinking until they TALK ABOUT IT. (Which the FN royal family is just sooo good at healthy communication I don’t understand why this is so hard for them lol?!)

I do agree that the suddenness of the relationship combined with the intensity from both zuko and Sokka is very alarming for people looking at it from the outside (I mean we all totally get it cause we were there but others are like uhhhh hmmmm ok this might be concerning) so I get them gossiping and wondering if this is truly real or what the fucks going on with those boys.

I love Zukos canon arc because there’s just so much about zukos story that can be relatable no matter who you are and I think that’s why he is a fan favorite (it doesn’t explain why we torture him the way we do but ehhhh it’s fine haha)

Hmmmmmm does iroh know Jees gay? Depends on how saucy those music nights got ;)

[indiaalphawhiskey]

Hello India! Because I unfortunately belong to the overthinkers club, I´ve been recently thinking about that "famously sexy" quote especially after H´s extra sexy outfit yesterday. And I would like to share some of my opinions about this theme which maybe goes hand in hand with H´s sexuality.

As we can see how Louis is becoming more and more confident and open every show - his tanktops, his smile after barricade ripped tank top and how he came back half naked looking beyond happy, his interaction with fans, dancing and just feeling himself - I have no doubt that H is very the same. When I think back to that Better homes and gardens´ interview he said something like how he struggled with himself and felt that his sex life was the only thing that was truly his and he felt ashamed of that. The Harry we can see on stage these months is - as I personally see it - very open person who no longer struggle to be truly himself, being proud and comfortable of his sexuality (no matter how he identifies) and he loves his body. Of course, there´s a factor of being on stage and put up a great show but I don´t think he´ll be able to do it as he does if he won´t be confident and won´t feel it. Yes, there are all those marketing strategies how he´s sold as a sex symbol mostly for female audience and I see this very similar to how Ricky Martin has been sold during 00´s - he has very sexy videos where he´s making out with woman, his body was (and still is) very ripped and mostly half naked. Back then even my child self (I was about 10 years old) saw him as a total sex god. And now he´s openly gay, still doing very sexy photoshoots....because he´s proud and he´s feeling himself. But I see something different with Harry being more open and giving hints of his queerness - something Ricky Marting wasn´t probably able to do back then - his total sexy gay outfits (yesterday he looked like he´s literally came on stage from gay bar), his banana dick, penis jokes and gay innuendos are just a few which came to my mind now. And there´s his role for MP and those sex scenes which he was able and comfortable to shoot which also speaks volume. Writing this, his stunts with women and interaction to some het signs are just to get away with everything queer he does. And the last question to think about - for whom is he famously sexy? He´s sold as a sex symbol for female audience mostly but....but does it mean that gay men don´t see him as a sex symbol too? What if his actual target are gays and never women (but heteronormativity makes us feel like it´s primary for women) - we will never know because he will never tell and that´s probably good because he´ll loose most if he just come out. Sorry for longer message, hope it´s understandable what I´m trying to say - not everything we think he´s sold as and primary for whom might be true and his inner target can be totally different.

I think, to stay mentally healthy, Harry has very much learned to compartmentalize between his personal and professional life.

I tend to think the fandom struggles with this compartmentalization because it feels so drastically different from what he seemed to want when he was younger and how much he visibly pushed against that overly sexualized image (which he still does, btw, because enjoying being sexy and inviting sexualization will always be two different things).

But yeah, I think the fandom doesn’t know how to reconcile his personal acceptance of his status as a sex symbol with the way he used to push back so fiercely against it. But really, I think it’s just a conscious, strategic adult decision.

This is not to say I agree with forcibly closeting anyone, or using closeting/stunting as currency to win back inalienable rights and personal freedoms. I absolutely do not and I wish the world was not this way at all.

But I’m also aware that we live in this reality, where the entertainment industry will continue to commodify people because there’s nothing that stops them, which means playing into that role allows him other freedoms, because anyone with any kind of professional career understands that making yourself “worth the trouble” and irreplaceable, especially in such a finicky industry, is what’s going to allow for both creative control and longevity in your career.

At the end of the day, I think it all boils down to cost. We like to think of stunts in a vacuum - either they exist or they don’t, and everything else stays the same - but the truth is, that’s not the way it works. Rather, it’s a lot more likely that stunts are a constant part of being That Kind of celebrity, particularly because of Harry’s profile, how he shot to fame, and how he has always been marketed, and what he has managed to do is gain enough leverage and popularity to exchange participation for something/multiple things: creative freedom, personal expression, rainbow flags every night, sparkly bi music… the list goes on.

And, as easy as it is to say it’s black-and-white not worth it… do we really mean that? If we had a printed receipt that said the cost of being allowed to fly a rainbow flag every night and play a starring role in a queer film and write songs like She and Find Line and Little Freak and helping fans come out and saying “we’re all a little bit gay” was one (1) stunt every year, would we, as a fandom, be willing to make the trade? Would we be willing to go back to the way it was in the 1D days, where everything he did and said was so tightly monitored that a glimpse of anything rainbow would send us into cardiac arrest and growing his hair was the biggest act of authenticity and rebellion he could manage?

And more than that, do we even have the right to have weigh in on something we know nothing about the complexities of, and that neither affect our life/our career/our future/the way we’re allowed to move about the world as a person/artist?

[blushydrangea]

im here to ask u ur thoughts in the... pj controversy ehhekekfke i wanna say smthn abt but like i feel as if i dont grasp the whole thing yet so i chose to shut up rn

hi love! under the cut so the people who are tired of discussing this topic can avoid it.

it's a long one!

i know everyone here has likely come across the tweets pj made, but as an archiver at heart i feel the need to break everything down. screenshots aren't mine.

on the 18th, pj made a tweet about fellow drag queen and artist chappell roan, questioning the authenticity of her love for drag. most people (me included!) thought she was trolling, which unfortunately didn't happen to be the case. plane appeared to be under the impression that chappell was mean or cold towards drag queens she invited to her shows, something she allegedly heard about in boston and, according to some people on reddit so take this with a grain of salt, was debunked. she followed her tweet with another, ironically saying "i love chappell roan". the first tweet was then deleted.

after several people accused plane jane of trying to gatekeep drag from women & having an unfair opinion deeply rooted in misogyny, pj released a notes app screenshot on the 19th. however, going against the purpose of most notes screenshots, hers wasn't an apology. instead, she chose to call out the hypocrisy of people attacking her because they were calling her a man (it's important to note that pj hasn't directly told us what her ood pronouns are afaik).

she made some more shady tweets after that and argued with stans on social media but i don't feel like including these, so the last update we have was this apology pj made for her fandom.

before i speak my mind on this, i just wanna say that i am willing to discuss this as long as people are polite, any aggressive messages i might receive will be promptly deleted.

to be honest, i didn't like what she said. being a person with a platform and, let's be real, several crazy stan accounts who follow her word like gospel, it was wrong in my opinion to call a growing lesbian artist (one of the very few we have, at that) performative for her love of drag. someone who also engages in the *checks notes* performative art of drag. there isn't much of a "bag" to be secured by pretending you love drag, as it's not that mainstream, and i can't help but wonder if pj would have the same criticism were chappell a gay man instead of a lesbian woman.

misogyny is real and it's present in all of us, we were all raised to see women as less than. pj is white and male-presenting with her makeup off, she isn't incapable of misogyny because she is gay or a drag queen. therefore, it rubbed me in the wrong way to see her voice out the same beliefs i've heard from other gay men before – that women deserve to be questioned whenever they exist in drag spaces. i don't agree with the sentiment that pj meant women shouldn't do drag, as she never said that. though she honestly reminded me of those men who ask me very specific and tricky questions about the tree of gondor or whatever when i tell them i love the lord of the rings. are you a true fan?

her notes app statement was what pissed me off. she was really immature imo, ofc she's only 26 so there's room for growth, but twisting a situation you inserted yourself in to seem like the victim based on... people calling you a cis man? come on. it was a self-centered statement made by someone who seemed to refuse to take any criticism on this subject matter. i was very disappointed she chose the "but you are wrong too!" route instead of apologizing to the people she hurt.

her apology to her fandom was... fine, i guess. it served to show me that she seems to be comfortable living in her bubble.

do i think she's a bad person? no, i don't. but i do think she had a misogynistic take and doubled down on it because she refuses to admit she was wrong. i'm staying away from her for the time being, i'll probably get over it eventually but rn i don't wanna see her face all that much. no judgement whatsoever to people who forgave her and are still posting about her, it's your blog, do what you want <3

[bimdraws]

The issue with being "exact" with language is that language itself isn't exact, unless you speak entirely in scientific language which most of us can't or don't use in general conversation.

I am a gay man(ish), I am attracted to men, but some non-binary people are transmasc, and some trans women don't pursue physical transitions. If I'm attracted in any way to either of those, does that mean I am invalidating their gender by calling myself gay? Should I call myself bisexual/m-spec? Am I really attracted to men at all or just arbitrary social markers of manhood and/or masculinity?

Changing my label doesn't really work for me. The circumstances in which I would need to call myself m-spec are maybe 2% compared with the rest of my dating experience, and not once has it been a concern to the people I date because we're adults who understand it's none of our business what another person calls themselves.

I argue you don't have to change your labels in order to validate other people. Our use of language is generally more practical than it is technical and it's also personal. I see you as the gender you tell me, I'll use your prefered pronouns, I am in constant community with trans people and even started transitioning hormonally myself, I KNOW trans people are the gender we say we are. But attraction is an individual experience, sometimes exceptions happen, sometimes it changes, and I don't see why you would have to change an everyday label in order to account for potential exceptions or for the one woman you dated ever (it's also fine if you do btw).

My experience of sexuality is unique, and so is everyone else's, which is why I'm very much against trying to tell other people what they are. It's pushing a label on people who don't have a real use for it based on YOUR experience of sexuality, not mine.

Again, it's fine to be exact if that works for you, but it doesn't do the job for everyone. If I needed to be exact, I'd say I'm m-spec gay, uranic, homoflexible, which would still be an issue for a lot of people who don´t like microlabels and would require me to give little essays everytime I explain my sexuality, and if I said I was bisexual, I'd be invalidated by everyone who sees me dating men 99% of the time. I can't win naming myself after OTHER people's opinions on sexuality, so fuck it. I am a gay man, I am also non-binary, and that's the label I'm sticking with 'till I feel differently.

There's never gonna be a way of describing sexuality that works for every single person because language is limited like that, and that's is why we should attempt listening to people with unconventional labels instead of acting like our community isn't built on creating language for ourselves and dismantling prescriptive language.

An issue that is brought up is that if I'm not 100% closed off to people with even slightly different genders to binary male I should call myself bisexual, because if not I'm then opening a door for people to start pursuing others who are 100% closed off, that it's MY fault if a guy pursues a lesbian because he thinks he can "convince her" as if our niche, inside community discourse affected how straight people perceive us... as if the primary issue with that wasn't a violation of consent but the critical exercise of language I'm engaging in within my community.

TLDR: don't go around telling people what labels they should use because gender and sexuality are too complex to boil down to simple terminology that fits every single person.

[olderthannetfic]

https://www.tumblr.com/olderthannetfic/732092052701052929/im-actually-really-really-tired-of-reading-posts?source=share

Ok, so, I'm the transsexual gay anon you're trying to vague.

First off, my ask was inspired by a reblogger from here who claimed that the reason straight men don't enjoy romance novels is because straight men are uncomfortable when women in fiction have agency. Lots of other commenters and rebloggers debunked that idiocy, but any point anon might have had about misogyny in straight men's choice of reading material was undermined when they described all straight men (a group which people like to forget includes trans men) as raging misogynists, instead of discussing a systemic issue in men's choice of reading material, or even talking about misogyny as a cultural problem. (By the way, if your response to this is to turn around and say that straight trans men don't count when you're talking about straight men as a group, the word for that is misgendering)

So, lets take your post point by point.

1.) I never said that male privilege isn't real, you're the one who made that up.

2.) it's possible to discuss systemic issues like the wage gap without pretending that trans men always have exactly the same male privilege as cis men, AND without pretending that they aren't men. You are correct to point out that privilege is not exactly identical for every single person, but ignoring that trans and gay people exist is not actually good praxis.

3.) "men don't have to take precautions against strangers of the opposite sex potentially assaulting them whereas women learn to do this from an early age" You forgot to slap "cis" on there. This is an accurate (if broad) statement about cis people. I grew up having to worry about the same exact things a cis girl worries about. The fact that I identify as a man and pass well today does not retroactively shield me from gendered violence or harassment back when everyone who saw me thought I was a teenage girl. Also, homophobic violence exists and men (cis or trans, straight or not!) who don't conform to their culture's standards of masculinity have to watch out for it, often to the same extent that women need to watch out for misogynist violence.

4.) no one asked you to pretend that cis men have it worse than trans lesbians, you made that up.

5.) Honestly, anon, the fact that you think that LGBT men like myself are insignificant and that our feelings don't matter tells me everything I need to know about you as a person (and very little about your political ideologies).

6.) you're right, it isn't about me. It's about systemic problems. Demonising an entire gender does not solve systemic problems. Transphobia and homophobia are also systemic problems, and overlap a great deal with misogyny (I've heard it argued that all three are actually the same thing directed at different people). You can't solve one while pretending the others don't matter.

7.) You're right! Trans men who don't pass are subject to the same crap that cis women are! You outright stating that their feelings about this don't matter doesn't help anyone, no, not even cis women.

6.) Acutally, "all men are scum" is radfem rhetoric, no matter if you allow trans men to be scum or try to define us out of manhood.

--

[degenderates]

What would almost-terf talking points look like? Genuinely curious because I never see stuff like that, though I may just not be aware of it. Thank you in advance ❤️

hey! no worries, it takes a lot of being on the internet (unfortunately lol) to notice the patterns of how online terfs talk about gender and make their stuff palatable for the masses, so here are a few pointers. keep in mind that people who post this kind of rhetoric aren't always terfs and you should be skeptical of ANYBODY who tells you that there are a complete set of "rules" you must follow or subjects you must avoid. think for yourself, but also be careful. with that being said, here are some things i've noticed after being on the trans internet for a few years:

1- "radfem"/"radfem-safe"/"radblr"/etc. usually they're a terf they just dont want to add the te- to the acronym. funny thing is they're not all that radical lol.

2- gender essentialism. this is one of the most insidious i think, because it's so well disguised, or simply poised as common sense. this can include anything about men and women being inherently different, whether this is about sexual violence, sexuality in general (including types of queerness), love, understanding/intuition/empathy, certain skills, whatever. sometimes it's just a joke but be careful because humor is a form of persuasion as well, just easily able to avoid blame. the reason why gender essentialism is terfy is because it posits that gender is immutable. ie. can't change. women are inherently like this, so someone who identifies as a man now will never get it, even if they end up being trans later. though some of these takes might have an addendum of, "trans women are women" or something like that, supposedly being inclusive of trans ppl, they don't account for people who aren't secretly eggs their whole lives. sure, a transfem who always knew she was a girl might be "included," but not a trans person who lived as their agab for their first 20, 30, or even 40 years. etc. tldr: this kind of rhetoric reveals how people truly feel about gender difference regardless of what they claim to support.

3- "male/female socialization." this one's tricky because yes we as humans in a society are socialized and yes that includes gender (which is a social construct in and of itself), but the vast majority of times i've seen this phrasing used is by terfs, so much so that if trans people want to talk about gender socialization, we have to use other terminology. the problem here is that folks' "current" gender is considered null and void due to how they were raised. this one is sort of the opposite of the phenomenon of "including" trans people in gender essentialism--it blocks us out from our actual gender in favor of seeing us as what we once were.

4- a weird fascination with militant genetalia. urls or bios that include stuff about vaginas and cunts killing people or whatever...i'm not against this, but most people who have this on their blog are terfs lol. aside from the jokes, people who see phallic imagery as something inherently violent or the penis as a body part as violent instead of like, the person as violent (if they are) is a big one. i guess the militant vagina is like reclaiming this somehow. i'm not sure. but it's a thing.

5- gatekeeping queerness. people who try to limit queerness to being lesbian/gay/bisexual, acephobes, arophobes, people who have this very basic understanding of queerness as same-sex attraction. sometimes they hate the word "queer." people who don't understand queerness as a culture and a way to play with gender and identity and presentation as well as sexuality, or as a political entity. queerness isn't just about being gay or straight. now not all acephobes are terfs, but because terfs have admitted to using acephobia to induct people into being radfems, and most terfs are acephobic....well. that's just one example, of course, but the point stands. anyone attempting to divide the queer community is inherently sus to me.

and finally, 6- if you download shinigami eyes, people marked as terfs show up in red. be careful because sometimes people mark others as red out of malintent, but if the person is showing other signs of being a terf and is red, they probably are one, lol. hope this helps, and other people feel free to add on! as always, take my post as just the observations of one individual, as a grain of salt!

[lacunasbalustrade]

what are your general thoughts on queer(gay n trans n all) people? like you dont seem to be against gay ppl from what i can see but i also see that you've like never really openly said something pro or against trans ppl. sorry if its out of the blue im just curious esp seeing your pov as a religious person who has trans mutuals/follows n all bcuz i (unfortunately) know plenty of christians that know trans people but only tolerate them instead of accepting them (which usually means they misgender/deadname them)

hi! I'm happy to answer your question - it's a bit controversial, though, and a sensitive topic for everyone, so I do ask for your understanding if anything I say happens to offend you.

as a Christian, I believe in the stance the Bible puts forth: that BEING gay is not a life choice, it's an inclination that came forth due to the presence of sin in the world. the continuation, however, of this choice, is a sin.

To quote so no one thinks I'm speaking out of some random, bibically incorrect bigotry, Romans 1: 24 NIV "Therefore God gave them over in the sinful desires of their hearts to sexual impurity for the degrading of their bodies with one another." ,Romans 1: 26 "Because of this, God gave them over to shameful lusts. Even their women exchanged natural sexual relations for unnatural ones." , Romans 1: 27 "In the same way the men also abandoned natural relations with women and were inflamed with lust for one another. Men committed shameful acts with other men, and received in themselves the due penalty for their error."

obviously my faith and beliefs should not be forced on unbelievers. I am not any holier than anyone else because I am straight. I am every bit as sinful because it's impossible to avoid committing sin.

so if I'm going to sum it up, it's best said as: none of my business because Who Am I to tell you how to live, right? you're my friends and 'preaching' isn't actually loving. the best form of loving others as a Christian is to accept them as a person before judging based on whatever life choices they've made or pronouns they call themselves. which brings me into the next part!

theologically, I have to admit I'M NOT VERY SURE about trans people. I genuinely cannot find many sources of literature on the topic. There are intersex people, there are people with gender dysphoria. The Bible doesn't talk much about those, enough to give any real objections anyway. To talk about my beliefs based off the context, if God made you as you are, you shouldn't be trying to change you...is the logic, but again, no reason to force biblical beliefs on unbelievers.

I do disapprove of the extent to which some trans people have taken this schtick. I've seen posts saying 'oh if kids can play soccer and do ballet which messes them up for life, they can also do trans surgeries!' I'm sorry. That just doesn't make sense. WHY would anyone want kids to have permission to do Very Risky Things when they are small enough to not know better or make informed choices? And I also know many posts say that 'common sense', kids aren't gonna do those things till they're old enough to feel like they need to do them....those posters need to remember the last time they regretted doing something as a child. Common sense can't be relied upon in my experience.

Plus, given the kidnapping laws in the U.S which basically allow children to be taken away from their parents if their parents disapprove...lol yeah now make a law where my child can be taken away from me if I'm not in the same fandom as them. It can be hurtful to receive dissent on your life choices, but that don't mean up and leaving is the solution, unless the living situation is physically dangerous in some way or you are an actual adult. Children are not trustworthy indicators of whether or not a parent is problematic. And I'm saying this having had problematic parents myself - sometimes we are part of the problem. And if it's difficult, you should still try not to give up on them.

This might be the most important part: I'm wondering whether the gender stereotypes placed on girls and boys are the markers trans people want to overcome. Because from what I've researched, there are two different camps. 1: people who admit that they are biologically whatever sex they were born, and just enjoy dressing like and passing for the other sex because it makes them more comfortable. 2: people who actually believe they are the other sex because they feel that way and they are only effectively realizing that change to their 'authentic' self by transitioning.

I don't believe in gender stereotyping. Like, girls wear skirts boys wear pants. Boys can't wear pink etc etc. So the concept of a trans woman thinking they are a woman because they enjoy the markers attached to being a woman, like, for example, having long hair and wearing skirts, makes me really uncomfortable. Because that's not the whole experience of being a woman. It's only a small part of it, and it's not universal at all. And while no one can claim that ALL woman have experienced a certain set of conditions that make them woman...the only standard for BEING a woman, in my book, is to be a biological one, because it's the only defining trait. When people think of girls, I don't want them to automatically think of girls with skirts and wearing pink. I want them to acknowledge that all girls are different, and the only thing that makes them girls is the gender marker, not their conformance to 'gender norms' that have arisen from societal conditioning.

The idea that someone's feelings can be 'authentically accurate' makes me feel even more....nah. Feelings are valid but if I trusted mine all the time, I'd definitely be all over the place.

To sum it up: no problems with the trans behavior because I'm not into forcing biblical perspectives on y'all. But I definitely have a problem with the idealogy and the legislature.

dead name, misgendering wise...I believe people should be called whatever they want to be called unless it makes the other person uncomfortable. In which case the other person should just stop interacting with them since they're so uncomfortable. (E.g you want me to call you Baby Chicken. For some reason I have a problem with it. Maybe I have a strong fear of chickens.)

Basically I respect your life choices. Thank you for coming to my Ted talk haha.