#they also constantly tried to talk me into meeting them irl

[whimsyprinx]

aside from rsd and inevitably pushing people away the reason I don’t have many friends and am reluctant to make more is simply because I’ve had so many friends or attempted friends be either awful or like just Frightening and I got to a point where I instead cling to what few friends I have but then as I lose those friends I begin to like panic a tad bit because eventually I’m going to have two friends at best and be too scared to ever try and make more lest they be horrible people or freaks or grow to hate me

[disabledfurry]

i may have made this post already

happy disability pride month to people with conditions that cause muscle atrophy and weakness, especially progressive muscle atrophy and weakness

to people who choke all the time, to people for whom swallowing hurts or is so uncomfortable it makes eating and drinking miserable, to people with moderate to severe gerd, to people who can't get rid of gas and it just stays trapped in their chest or stomach and hurts, to people who get nauseous every time they eat, to people who don't want to eat because of how it makes them feel, to people who get sick after eating, to people with dumping syndrome

to people who are losing the ability to walk even with an aid

to people who can't pull themself out of a seat easily or at all

to people who are losing the ability to pee or use the bathroom on their own, to people with chronic constipation and urine retention, to people in serious pain because of those things

to people who can't easily cry or laugh or cough or who can't cry or laugh or cough at all, to people who get or are too weak to talk, to people who have to fight to keep breathing, to people who stop breathing over and over because they're too weak to do it anymore, to people with worsening heart problems, to people who hallucinate and are confused from lack of oxygen and do and say strange things that they regret later because of it

to people who are losing the ability to use their hands, to people who struggle to grab and hold onto things, who drop stuff often, to artists with atrophied and weakening hands especially, to people who use speech to text or wish they could but it doesn't work with their voices or accent

to people for whom chewing is tiring, to people who can't chew on their own

to people who can't blow their noses

to people who can't hold their head up or sit up on their own

to people who are losing their sight or hearing

to people who can't move without feeling like they've been working out, to people whose muscles are always sore, to people who often can't be touched without pain, to people with angry nerves, to people who like me get random pinching and searing, to anyone else that's getting worse for

to people whose muscles twitch constantly

to people who are in bed all the time or most of the time, to people who feel like they're asleep more often than they're awake, to people who are forced to lay down and then can't even talk or open their eyes because they're too weak

to people who also have worsening cognitive issues, to people who thrash and twitch and twist, to people who have always had seizures or just started having them, to people who stutter and stammer and can't make sense, to people who just "feel really weird"

to people for whom everything seems like a fight because their muscles just don't want to work

to people who are losing or who have lost the ability to do adls

to people who have already lost a lot of things and will lose more

i just wanted to make a post. i can't list every experience, but tried to list as many as i could think of of my own, and as many as i know about. i think having this experience is lonely, for what it is, especially if you have no support irl. i rarely meet anyone like me, i really only know of 3 people, 4 tangentially- someone offered to connect me to her, but i feel like it's weird to ask. i wish i met more of us in the wild, as it were, and not by chance like someone's spun a wheel. i'm also glad i guess that this isn't that common of an experience considering how much it hurts. i always just feel really distraught and insecure about both being able to see and feel my body deteriorate. i worry about what i'll lose next. i worry about how to supplement what i have lost. i worry about my chest as a whole and my esophagus and my bladder and my stomach and my brain and my spine and my heart.

there's a lot of things i could say if i knew how to say it, but anyway, i'm glad you're here. i just really hope you have fun.

[calholic]

idk if you'd be ok w this but tom kaulitz x female reader highschool au?

T. KAULITZ x READER

★ 𝐬𝐲𝐧𝐨𝐩𝐬𝐢𝐬: you go to high school with the tom kaulitz

★ 𝐜𝐨𝐧𝐭𝐞𝐧𝐭 𝐰𝐚𝐫𝐧𝐢𝐧𝐠: mentions of alcohol, swearing, cigarettes, extreme bullying

★ 𝐚𝐮𝐭𝐡𝐨𝐫’𝐬 𝐧𝐨𝐭𝐞: someone had a similar req to this where reader gets bullied so i tried adding some of that into here ❤️ also i feel like i add angst to all my stories 😭 ik i’m making tom sound like a bad guy in these stories which can make people feel that way about him irl (ahem my living nightmare) but plz guys im just doing it for the angst i swear im not a tom anti haha

you’ve know tom and bill since forever, i mean the three of you have been together since elementary school. they were both really different now with tom being a massive player and bill being, well, bill. you guys were now in high school and you would like to say it got easier but it didn’t. you were constantly harassed by tom’s fangirls which was unbearable. obviously you’ve talked to tom about it but he ended up being honored that his fans were so loyal. “stay away from tom, pick me,” you hear a girl say as you walked down the hall. these girls would never say anything to your face, only spew hate from behind your back.

you ignored them all of course but it was still annoying. “your fangirls are at it again,” you said to tom as you sat down in your first hour class. “i’m flattered,” he said half-heartedly, looking down on his phone, texting. tom had been texting a lot lately and you were curious. “who’re you texting? you been at it all week,” you asked. “some girl i met last week while shopping with bill,” he said. “oh,” you replied, looking down at your desk. you’ve had a crush on tom since middle school and hearing about his new love interests really hurt. “i think she might be the one, i’m meeting with her tonight,” he said smiling, totally ignoring your sudden change of emotion.

you were silent for the rest of class and left early, leaving without waiting for tom like you usually did. you went to go confide with bill later at lunch. “ugh it’s just so annoying hearing him talk about other girls,” you said sighing. “why don’t you just confess then?” bill asked. “you don’t get, it’s way more complicated than that. i mean, he doesn’t even like me!” you said. “you never know~,” bill said. “why? did he said something about me?” you asked. “calm down, he didn’t say anything,” bill said, letting your hopes down. “ugh whatever, i’m going to class now,” you said before leaving.

you packed your bags as the dismissal bell rang, you would walk home with bill and tom since you guys lived nearby. you were still a little mad at tom but you wanted to wait for bill. you felt a water bottle lightly tap on your head and you turned around to see tom. “why’re you mad at me? is it because i talked about another girl?” he asked, smirking. “what did bill tell you?” you asked, annoyed that bill would tell tom. “what?” he asked confused. you might’ve just accidentally almost revealed your crush on tom so you quickly came up with a lame excuse. “what? no? of course not, bill told me you stole my bag of chips,” you said defensively.

“oh, yeah i forgot about that,” he said laughing. “hey guys, ready to go?” bill asked as he walked up to the two of you. “yeah, let’s go,” you said. the walk was pretty silent now as you thought of what tom would be doing with that girl tonight. it wasn’t fair that he was having all the fun meeting people and hooking up almost every night. you wanted to experience that fun too so when you got home you called your friend audrey, and asked if she knew anyone throwing a party. “oh yeah! i heard adrian’s hosting one at his dad’s house and i heard that it’s massive too,” she said. “cool! when is it?” you asked. “friday, wanna come over to get ready together?” she asked. “of course!” you replied.

it was late now and you were getting ready for bed before you heard a knock at your window, it was tom. “what do you want?” you asked. “can i come in?” he yelled from below. “whatever,” you said, walking back into your room. he quickly slipped in and laid on your bed. “she ditched me, i can’t believe her! how could you ditch such a hottie like me??” he said. “who wouldn’t?” you asked with a laugh. “what’s your problem?” tom looked at you with a serious expression now. “well let’s see, first your sho up to my house unannounced at 10pm, then you talk about your failed hookup, do i need to say more?” you asked. “you’ve been acting like a bitch lately,” he said. “i’m leaving,”

and with that tom left as quick as he came. you felt a little bad but you knew it needed to be addressed. the next day at school was rough, tom avoided you and the girls were even more relentless now as well. “what did you do to tom?” asked jessica, one of tom’s biggest fan girls. you couldn’t give her the time of day so you walked off.

“i’m not done talking!” she screamed. “i don’t care,” you replied. you weren’t having it and just wanted to go home, you were tired of everything and couldn’t take your mind off tom. you kept walking to your next class until school ended finally. you didn’t even wait for tom or bill and just went home by yourself, you even ran a little to avoid them. bill called you later and asked why you and tom weren’t talking. “some stuff happened last night and i’m honestly so tired of him now,” you explained. “come on now, you guys are like two peas in a pod!” he said. “not anymore,” you replied. you scrolled around and myspace and saw that tom had posted something. it was him at a party, probably from last night after he left your house. he was surrounded by girls which made you even more frustrated.

the party was one day away now and you were deciding your outfit, you were going to go all out. perhaps something slutty? you didn’t know yet, but you did know that you were going to get drunk and hook up. you met up with audrey to discuss friday before school started. “maybe a halter top?” she suggested. “ooh a miniskirt!” you added in. “i think i’ll wear my sequined tank top with a skirt,” she said. “i don’t know what i’m wearing yet,” you said putting your head down. “it’s okay, if you can’t find anything you can wear some of my clothes,” she said. “okay,” you said.

you walked into first hour, dreading it. you didn’t want to see tom, like at all. when you ed in, his desk was surrounded by girls as usual. one them gave you a dirty look as you walked up to your desk. you overheard what they were talking about and tom was telling them about what you said. that bitch, you couldn’t believe he was telling people, and his fangirls at that, your guys’ personal business. you knew you wouldn’t be able to live it down from them so you just put your headphones in and head down. your jaded your head when classed started and you swore you’d as tom smirking at you as the girls started dissipating.

when school ended you began walking before you felt someone grab your shoulder, it was tom and you wondered what he wanted. “we need to talk,” he said. “about what? how you’re telling your stupid fangirls about our business? they’re never going to leave me be now that they know that! but you don’t care do you? because you’re so selfish and only care about which girl you’re going to fuck next right?” you said. you left tom speechless and left before you gave him time to speak. you can’t believe you just let all your anger out on him like that. you tried not to feel bad because he deserved it but you still couldn’t help it. you quickly walked home after that’s hoping to avoid bill as well.

you wanted to drown now and never see anyone again. you took a nap and woke up to missed calls from bill, which you answered. “hello?” you asked. “______ i don’t know what going on with you and tom but it needs to end. you guys are best friends and can’t be on bad terms like this! i care about you two,” he said. “i love you bill but nothing is going to change my mind. anyways, see you at adrian’s?” you asked. “yeah whatever, bye,” he said. you put the phone down and got in the shower. it was late now but you decided to do homework before going to bed. you woke up the next, refreshed and ready, you felt very confident and ready for tonight. you met up with audrey to discuss plans and then went to first hour.

tom was already there and he waved at you, signaling he wanted to talk but you turned around immediately and went to go talk to someone else. school felt like forever but eventually it ended and you met up with audrey to go to her house. “okay, i’ll shower first and the i’ll start on makeup okay?” audrey confirmed. “sure,” you said as you sat down on her bed. soon enough she finished her shower and you got in.

the two of you finished your makeup and it was time to choose outfits. audrey ended up with a halter top and a low rise skirt while you wore a tupe top with the shortest skirt ever. you guys did hair as well and then left. adrian’s house was indeed hug and there were already people there. most were kids from school but others were from different ones too. you immediately saw tom on a couch, sitting next to a girl. you hate to say it but you were jealous, jealous that that girl wasn’t you. you brushed those thoughts away though and headed straight to the drinks you took shot after shot and drink and drink.

after a few minutes you were drunk and decided to mess around. you saw a cute boy and decided to approach him. “hey,” you said, slurring your words a little. he seemed to be i by you to by the look in his eye. “hey beautiful,” he replied. you noticed tom looking and a smile gee on your face. you took the boy into a random room and started making out with him. all of a sudden the lights turned off though and the boy got up. suddenly a bunch of girls appeared basically out of no where and started recording you half naked with their flashlights on.

they were yelling things like slut and whore. you soon recognized them to be tom’s little fangirls and you were so embarrassed. holding back tears, you got up and put your clothes back on but not before one of the girls approached you and started laughing in your face, calling you names. “you really think tom likes you? this is all your fault for breaking his heart,” she said. your tears were flowing now and you couldn’t control them, you tried to get up but one of the girls held you down. you thought it was over as the girls all started laughing and circling you until you heard a familiar voice, yet again it was tom. “what are you guys doing?” he yelled.

he shoved the girls aside and helped you up. you were no even more pissed at him since you knew this was his doing, all the fangirls, all the drama and all the gossip. you pulled your arm away from him and out your clothes on. “why are you mad at me? i get that we fought once but we usually get over it,” he asked. “are you fucking kidding me?” you asked frantically crying now and breathing heavy. “are you asking me this now? i’m mad because this is all your fault, i’m mad because the only reason this happened is because you decided to tell your fan girls our drama and i’m mad because i like you so much that i hate when you’re around other girls!” you shouted. tom was silent, only letting out a small “what?” your face was red from embarrassment and you ran out the door, straight to the exit.

you ran all the way home, as it started raining, your tears blending in. when you got home you went straight to your room, ignoring your mothers worried calls for your name. you took off your wet clothes and laid on your bed. you got a call from tom but ignored it along with calls from your other friends, you knew they all had the same question, “are you okay?” you were tired but lit a cigarette outside, looking at the moon before you dozed off to bed. the weekend passed and you stayed home during all of it. you didn’t want to go out and embarrass yourself more.

the video had now surfaced and everyone and their mothers have seen it. you were a joke now and it was all because of tom. “wake up ______ it’s time for school,” your mom said. “mom, i can’t go, you’ve seen the video right? i’m a joke,” you cried. “you’re only a joke if you let them make you out to be one. if you let them steak you down like this then you’ll never recover,” she said and she was right. even thought you didn’t want to, you got up for school. you walked into school and everyone looked at you, whispering things. you wanted to die.

tom was in first hour, sitting by himself surprisingly. you were halfway into the door before you guys made eye contact. he got up to approach but you instinctively ran away from him to go hug in the bathroom. you skipped all of first hour and hid away in a stall. you went to the rest of your classes as normal but not without being humiliated. you only went back to the bathrooms for lunch, hoping to avoid people. when school ended you were relieved. you ran out the gates and straight home. you didn’t talk to anyone all day and you avoided everyone too. you decided to do homework since you threw your phone away, hoping to avoid everything.

you were studying for hours until you heard talking ay your window. you looked down to see tom but you ignored him. the last thing you’ve antes was to see him.

he wouldn’t budge though and kept knocking. you finally opened it to tell him to go away but he had let himself in already. “______ i-,” he started but you cut him off. “look i know what you’re going to say, but just please forget what happened on friday, okay?” you pleaded. “no, i can’t. i want to say that… i really like you too ______,” you were shocked, not knowing what to do. “i didn’t know how to tell you though, so i coped by sleeping around with girls,” he confessed. “im sorry for what those girls did to you, and i’m sorry for telling them our business,” he apologized but you didn’t know whether to forgive him or not. “why?” you asked. “why what?” he said. “why did you tel them?”

“i dunno, i was jealous i guess,” he said. “oh what?” you asked. “of how good you were doing without me,” he admitted. you laughed at the irony since you weren’t actually doing as great as he thought. “are you serious?” you asked, he was silent. “i’ve been crying myself to bed all night!” you said. “i’m sorry,” tom said as he looked down. “me too i guess. i didn’t mean to say this things that night. i was pissed you were off with another girl,” you admitted. “so you weren’t mad over the chips?” he asked. “no,”

“were you serious about what you said friday night, that you like me?” he asked. “yeah…” you looked away, embarrassed. “your face is red,” he stated. “whatever,” you rolled your eyes and fell back onto your bed with tom following. you two faced each other, staring into each one’s longing eyes. “i love you,” tom whispered before leaning in for a kiss.

[consumeroflemoans]

Slightly dumb vilidia au idea:

They start dating before NRC, but it's an online relationship. They both met online under aliases, Vil was using an alt account and Idia just using his regular account.

How their online meet-cute went exactly can be up to interpretation, I like to think that Idia made a post sharing his opinion on an another shitty live action remake of his favourite anime and Vil actually agreed with him. So he in turn shared his opinion too via his alt, and that's how their online friendship started

This goes on for a while, at first they're just discussing various movies, but eventually their conversations move on to other topics, like how their lives are going and stuff. None of them share any personal details like their names, but they do share what happens in their daily lives. For Idia he's constantly sharing what goes down in his video games, and for Vil he talks about his latest modelling gigs and stuff but in a vague way since this is still his alt account.

Soon Idia starts to actually look forward to talking with Vil, and before he even realizes it he got a major crush on him. He freaks out of course, like this dude is a SSR model! there's no way he would want to date someone he met online. While Vil is also realizing he too got himself a crush on Idia, and he's like "Well he may be a gamer, but maybe I can be his player 2?".

Ortho encourages Idia to confess, and after a lot of convincing. Idia decides to shoot his shot, and just as he was about to start typing, Vil comes in like "Hey, wanna date?". Idia short circuits for a moment before replying back "YES" "I- I mean, if you really want to"

And so they're officially dating online! Idia is over the moon and Vil is just smiling like a dork at the screen. They do phone calls when they both have the time, and constantly text each other, Idia introduces his favourite MMORPG to Vil so they can go on online dates in the game.

This goes on for about six months before they both start NRC, they're obviously still texting each other but phone calls are less frequent and so are their online dates since they're busy with school now.

This all adds up to the reason why I made this au in the first place. One day during lunch, Idia is bragging about his boyfriend to Leona and a few other first years, with Vil sitting a few seats away. Leona obviously doesn't believe him and demands proof, so Idia pulls out his phone and is like "I'll call him right here and show you he's real!" and so he starts calling his boyfriend... and Vil's phone starts ringing at the same time...

A brief moment of silence as they turn their attention towards Vil, as he picks up his phone and answers the call, he says hello and Idia hears his voice through his phone's speaker. Cue complete panic and confusion from Idia as he tries to process what he just learned, Vil is slightly dying on the inside. meanwhile Leona is laughing his ass off.

Idia runs off and Vil chases after him, he eventually catches up with Idia and grabs his hand to make him stop running. They're both out of breath, Idia more than Vil, Idia himself is still freaking out while Vil is mostly caught up with the situation. Vil takes the hand he grabbed and entwines their hands together and simply smiles at him. Idia's hair immediately turns bright pink as he stutters over his words before just shutting himself up as he tightens his grip on Vil's hand.

So now they're dating in real life too! they can do everything they did online but IRL now! and even more because now they can hold hands, cuddle, and even kiss! plus Vil can help Idia take better care of himself.

THIS HAS HEALED ME FROM THE LAST ASK THANK YOU

This is seriously the cutest idea omg. Them being goofy little dorks and bonding over movies together is the cutest thing.

“Well he may be a gamer, but maybe I can be his player 2?” Vil that is the cheesiest thing you have ever said and I love you for it. I love the thought of Vil at a photoshoot or on set checking his phone and just having this really dorky smile on his face while he texts Idia. Let that man be a teenager 📢📢📢

IDIA INTRODUCING VIL TO GAMES SK THEY COULD OLAY ROGETHER AUGH

They would love Stardew Valley and Animal Crossing actually. They would just get on call and play for hours at a time, just talking to each other and relaxing.

ALSO THEM FINALLY MEETING IN PERSON IS THE MOST UNCOMFORTABLE EXPERIENCE I LOVE IT.

Have I told you I love them

I am dying

This is amazing

[youremyheaven]

https://www.tumblr.com/youremyheaven/757354769389109248/i-had-some-perspective-altering-sex-with-this?source=share

didi i am thats college anon i think you need tobtell your beauty secret or they mantra and tantra you are doing you are just attracting Venusian man like 🧲🏃‍♂️🏃‍♂️🏃‍♂️🏃‍♂️🏃‍♂️ how... the half of eorld is mad for you spell the secrete didi ( i am tsking notes ) hehe 😈😈😈😈

I've been chanting mantras for years 😭😭😭so that definitely could be why. I worship one tantric Goddess who I feel deeply connected to and then I worship another non-tantric Goddess. I firmly believe we should worship who calls to us??? Like I felt called by her to worship her. SHE chose me.

Ngl my whole life, I've had guys go crazy for me 😌 and imo I wasn't as pretty then (as a teenager) as I am now as a 24yr old woman but over the years I've attracted men who would literally do anything for me 😭 and I'm pretty sure I mention the "he's been asking me out for a year, the other guy's been obsessed with me for 5years etc" but that's the thing, no one who's ever wanted me stops wanting me and I literally don't have to do anything. I don't talk to them. I don't go out with them. I give them absolutely nothing in return but now I realise that all these men are most likely Venusians bc nobody else will love you like that.

I've had all kinds of encounters with men and many have been unpleasant so it's not like every man I see is a lovesick Venusian who worships me or anything but yeah I am a magnet for Venusian men 😭😭😭

I've also been practicing tantra yoga for years now and I think my sexual energy is very well developed 😌and potent 😳

People who say things like "I attract the wrong kind of attention bc I'm sexy" are lowkey deluding themselves ngl, I'm not saying you'll never meet creeps (that's not something you can control) but well cultivated sexual energy (qi as the Chinese call it) makes people respect you and worship you. It's very powerful. There's a reason why ancient Indian temples have sexual iconography, it's because sexual energy is so potent 🤌

I've never deliberately tried to seduce men tbh. I won't lie, I've cultivated a certain amount of physical magnetism 😳 but I feel like the less I care or the less "bhaav" (attention) I give them, the more they want me. I don't do it on purpose. I'm just not someone who can text and call someone frequently, I really need my alone time and I HATEEEE talking about myself (ik I talk about myself a lot on this blog but if you pay attention you'll know how little I actually share) I hate being asked questions about my life 😭 even irl 😭 and I genuinely dislike the whole "getting to know someone" stage 😭 I feel drained sharing my inner world with others??? Irl I don't speak much 😭to most people and I prefer the company of those I can be comfortably silent with 😭 like I make small talk with many people and THEY share their deepest darkest secrets with me and I occasionally say TMI shit like I do on my blog but in general very few people could name 5 things about me lmao 💀 I think me being very private has made me more "mysterious" and "intriguing" (that's what I hear from people) and it increases the desire that one feels. The more hard to reach somebody is, the more you want them etc 👀

So the key is probably not being constantly available, not really caring about them, minding your own business, maintaining yourself and being conventionally feminine 🤌🤌🤌🤠

[tacagen]

Healthy Eobarry AU

(yes its just called that. no there is no actual romance, the word eobarry is here only so i dont have to write 'barry and eobard' all the time im talking about them. some things are very close to that tho but thats just the way it always is with thawne.)

the core idea: eobard is still a flash fan from the 25th century with a huge crush but he never wanted to be a hero like barry. he always wanted to go back in time and become flash's archnemesis instead, so there is no rejection abandonment and disappointment drama at all. not a single trace of canon hatred, thawne just wants to have some good time with his favorite hero in a weird way. barry, on the other hand, has no idea what the fuck is even going on. the vibe is most reminiscent of silver age eobarry. their dynamic:

ALSO their dynamic: this jla short

the lore:

they first meet in 21st century. eobard just finds barry, comes up to him like 'omg hi flash!! im your fan from the future and i just synthesized myself the speedforce connection to go back in time and meet you irl :)', waits exactly until barry believes and starts marveling at that fact, goes 'BUT THERE'S ALSO THIS LITTLE THING YOU SHOULD KNOW :)))) youre probably wondering why these colors. well, i call myself the reverse-flash and actually im here to cause problems for you on purpose. NOW CATCH ME IF YOU CAN :D', runs off to break the brakes of a bus carrying children or something like that while barry stands for a few seconds like 'huh. reverse? where are you going?'

right after barry, utterly confused and shocked, averts the situation thawne caused, he goes 'WHAT THE ACTUAL HELL WAS THAT?? DIDNT YOU JUST SAY YOU WERE MY FAN??' which thawne answers with 'wow. you really thought i was one of these boring "my favourite person of all time inspired me to become a hero like them" rip-offs with no imagination, didnt you? tsk tsk, i am so disappointed'

secrecy of their identities to each other isnt a thing since the very first fight. 'by the way, my name is eobard thawne! and i know you're barry allen, i actually know most of the 21st century heroes' identities but i promise you can trust me with that!'. indeed, he doesnt reveal this to anyone or threaten to do so but trust isnt exactly the right word either as thawne fucking loves visiting barry while they're both in their civil clothes at times + itwasmebarry still becomes a thing (elaborated on further below).

thawne is faster than barry here from the very beginning on pure theory and little to no speedster experience but only because barry just desperatly tries to process all the information he recieves from thawne every time they fight along with handling whatever endangering civilians shit eo does and he isnt doing well. at all. like, it does require a lot of hard effort not to lose your mind while constantly being hit with stuff like 'OOOHH DID I MENTION THAT I WORK AS THE CURATOR OF THE FLASH MUSEUM IN THE 25TH CENTURY?!? BTW WE STUDY YOUR HISTORY IN SCHOOL IN COMICS FORM, ISNT THAT AMAZING?!!'

thawne never shuts up. thawne genuinely enjoys the whole thing and admires barry an impossible amount and he's always fascinated by every aspect of the speed force, especially seeing and using it in action. thawne never acts like a normal villain as in 'commit crime->run away/fight the hero/watch the chaos'. he does something that endangeres people's lives (ALWAYS in front of barry because that is the whole point) then runs alongside barry as he saves everyone, never initiating the fight and ENDLESSLY commenting on everything barry does with consideration of flash facts, speed force and other physics stuff and even barry's personal background. it always goes like 'must do this and this to get everyone to safety!-' and thawne, instantly from somwhere behind barry's left shoulder: 'YES you DO, because this this and this and of course you could try that but-' and it goes on for 5 minutes on superspeed at the very least. from a non-speedster perspective, it looks like two blurs with lightnings, red and yellow, are saving people and going with some kind of weird squeaking high-pitched sound, which is never there if there is only flash around.

by the way, the rule that it is Very important for thawne to touch barry at any given chance and prolong it by going faster than him is still present. the same goes for becoming a speedster partially to have an opportunity to get away from 25th century and its mildly or not so dystopian shit and boringness. doesnt really realize the first part tho, sometimes casually drops some crazy ass facts about his future as something totally normal (like that one good-bad detection chair from silver age that gets a cameo in rs) and gets confused when the reaction is something like '.....i am so sorry.'

THE SAME ALSO GOES FOR 'IT WAS ME BARRY', its just way more lighthearted and has the purpose only of annoying and messing with barry through slight inconveniences in his life and it is a whole another part of their enemyship outside of the usual tag games. examples: 1. barry in his lab, extremely tired and almost exhausted, stumbles on air, says 'dammit eobard, this again??'. thawne unphases nearby with an offended look, goes 'HEY. THAT WASNT ME.', demonstratively pushes barry's mug with coffee off the table like a cat, 'now this was me, barry', grins and runs off before barry can do anything; 2. imagine thawne's excitement when he plays chess in iron heights, looks away, notices yellow lightnings with the corner of his eye and turns to the board again only to find that his queen is gone. the very next encounter starts with thawne running around barry in circles like 'it was you. it was you. IT WAS YOU! ITWASYOUWASNTIT!!'

this thawne is incapable of murdering anyone close to barry or ever hurt him at all. the best he can do is threaten anyone's life in barry's sight (and he knows barry will save everyone. more, he never arranges the events with the chance of barry not being fast enough to save every single life threatened so it isnt a big deal) because in other case he just wont come out to play with him :( ((i dont think thawne's generally capable of murder here? he feels too silly for that to me))

following important things: 1. barry obviously never killed thawne because he never did anything that extreme. 2. nora allen is alive and well and probably met thawne personally. he visits her in his civil clothes and acts in the nicest way possible, barry hears about the mysterious friend from work he never mentioned later and chokes on tea as nora recalls 'what did he say his name was? edward taurine?' 3. BARRY'S DOG IS STILL DEAD THO but it actually was an accident. he still blames himself for not shutting the back door that day in the way he blames himself for the not emotional enough postcard for his grandma in dc superhero girls. (see also: this vid but its about the dog instead of nora) ((ALSO thawne is most likely actively empathetic about it because he cant stand seeing barry sad or hurt. unfortunately he is also actively neurodivergent so that turns out to be awkward))

they team up often but barry is never aware of that as it happens out of his control. thawne has every single event that threatened barry marked in his calendar and an alarm set for it and he just shows up there like 'fuck you, this is MY archnemesis/idol/inspiration and nobody is going to fucking hurt him'

barry is generally always in the state of confusion when it comes to thawne. he doesnt understand what's going on like 80% of the time. as thawne never gets any clearer to him, barry just accepts that this, at some point, is now a part of his life.

instead of love letters, thawne writes and sends barry personally discovered speed force equations like 'look!! this is how it all works there!!' and occasionally mentions other science things discovered after 21st century. barry reads all that, understands and sometimes uses those against thawne who is completely delighted by that.

one day thawne manages to lock barry up in anti-meta cell and spends the following 3 hours on MATHEMATICALLY PROVING THE EXISTENCE OF THE SPEEDFORCE TO HIM STEP BY STEP, reciting his dissertation verbatim which was written in the context of no one knowing and caring about the concept.

thawne participates in the legion of doom and other supercriminal associations out of 'is flash gonna be there?? whatever youre planning im in, just leave him to me and me alone'. probably doesnt even listen to the scheme details and learns about it directly from barry in the final fight when he asks him 'eobard?? what?? the?? fuck?? why are you participating in something that's ultimate goal is DESTROYING THE FUTURE??'. (or others just stopped telling him the details, OR he doesnt listen on purpose after that one time he edited the whole plan like 'oh cmon do you actually think you could succeed with THIS?? let me show you how its actually done' only for them to lose epically. whats worse is that thawne saw it as something obvious. 'wait you really thought it would work?? cmon the whole point of being a supervillain is that the good guys always stop you no matter what you come up with.' they naturally never let him speak on the plans again which he responded with 'WHATEVER. YOU DO YOU IG. NOT GONNA INTERFERE AGAIN :/') unironically protects barry in group fights if any other villain is trying to aid him against the flash and attacks his own allies for that (barry once uses that to his advantage to take out the whole legion one by one lmfao. thawne genuinely doesnt notice that he is the only one standing until barry mentions it. he takes a moment to look around and that's when barry takes him out, too). as you can figure, he doesnt get invited into villain associations often, and if he does its usually the last resort bc he is a Genius Even By Future's Standards and therefore one of the most competent scientists out there.

nobody wants to sit at the same table with thawne in iron heights or interact at all because he instantly starts infodumping about the flash and their relationship. you accidentally get closer than like 2m to him and after a few seconds he just goes 'me and flash are best enemies, you know? we even always wear matching suits, oh and did you know-'

thawne gets mad if you compare his suit with kid flash because his suit has a Deep Idea and acktually he got to 21st century before wally was also struck by lightning and therefore was here first (yep, he did that on purpose and it gets revealed the very same moment he mentions it)

speaking of kid flash. thawne argues with him at any given chance because fighting a literal child on who is the biggest flash fan is something he would do on a daily basis. it just feels right (and it shouldve happened in canon at this point at least once. fucking Come On dc. almost 60 years of thawne's existence and for what!!). his points are that: he is the flash's Equal (even in height. thawne is very fucking proud of that fact) and not a pathetic sidekick; he got powers after years of hard scientific work and not by coming to barry's lab at the right moment; he is an Expert, a Professor, a Curator of the flash museum and knows everything about flashes, including the things they dont know themselves yet (he accidentally reveals that wally is also gonna be the flash but is quick to claim that he was the slowest and dumbest of them all and actually fuck you ima erase that from the timeline later), 'therefore l + ratio + IM his biggest fan and there is nothing you can do about it' 'lmaoooo who the heck taught you these words?? dude you sound so cringe. like do you even know what ratio means??' '*thinking it's just a figure of speech from 21st century literature classics or something like that for his whole life* well i- h- wh- DONT CHANGE THE SUBJECT.' wally doesnt care at all and just trolls him, harshly at times. he doesnt take thawne even a little bit seriously, which eo tragically doesnt realize.

thawne's comedically jealous of barry to iris between the lines and is completely unaware of that. the same thing going on with the rogues about emenyship with barry but that one is direct and on purpose. probably fucking jumps in their fights with flash like 'hi i just took out cap cold for you no need to thank me <3 now, can WE dance?? :|' every now and then. probably it gets super awkward when they inevitably end up in iron heights together that same day. honestly i think every supervillain who met thawne wants to kill him at this point. he's extremely annoying, both on purpose and not

thawne finds and starts nitpicking the first curators and architects of the flash museum in 21st century from the very project stage like 'NO it should stand THE OTHER WAY everyone shut up im from the future i Know Better'. it continues right until barry comes to pick him up and apologise for the inconvenience. 'eobard, i know this place means... a lot to you but please let history run its course. i mean, arent you risking your whole existence by trying to make these changes?' 'BUT THEY'RE DOING IT WRONG >:('

CANONICALLY ALMOST DROWNS 3M AWAY FROM A BRIDGE WHILE TRYING TO RUN ON WATER WITHOUT KNOWING HOW TO DO THAT YET OR AT LEAST HOW TO SWIM. every time barry mentions that incident thawne blushes like hell out of shame. imagine being saved from the lake by your crush/nemesis/everything who is actually Worried that you almost drowned out of your own stupidity which kind of covers the cringefail at first so youre enjoying the Moment but then you hear 'why did you even decide to run across the lake, there was a bridge nearby?'. thawne BEGS barry not to tell anyone (and especially wally). that probably was the first time thawne actually stayed in iron heights for longer than half an hour without getting out the very second everyone looks away on barry's condition of secrecy. now, the funniest part? if thawne hadnt shown that it was cringe even to him, barry wouldnt even say a single thing any further. to him it was a usual impossible to grasp shit thawne does every single encounter.

thawne considers heroes and their morals objectively dumb but his thoughts on barry having the same mindset are 'god he is SO adorably naive. so pure. so innocent. havent done anything wrong in his life. sweetest cinnamon roll of all times'. occasionally tells him that out loud because he has no fucking shame except when it comes to the lake incident

his own set of morals is just 'be gay do crime' where be gay stands for teaming up with barry on practically everything that isnt their one on one fights.

following: other villains are dumb to him as well. sometimes complains to barry about how nobody Understands him and his superior taste in being a supervillain, especially in the legion. poor barry just tries to get some rest between work and superheroing and then thawne casually comes running out of fucking nowhere, lies down on his lap and starts venting about how barry is the only one that Gets him on superspeed.

[hayatoseyepatch]

SAM CONGRATS ON 500 WOOHOOO ٩(ˊᗜˋ*)و here are some answers to your match up hehe :3

personality : im more reserved and closed off irl but once i get comfortable with someone i tend to yap yap yap !! my interests are writing, playing games, going to cafes and bookstores and watching movies and tv shows. i also love to cook especially if it’s something i’ve never tried or made before :D my prns are any but i lean more to she / her sometimes! umm .. i can also be very clingy and secretly jealous / possessive 🫣 and am a chronic overthinker yaaaay /lh (im also very indecisive and completely avoid confrontation if that means not hurting someone else’s feelings) however if someone is ever mean or rude to a person i care about then i have no problem speaking my mind ehuheue

fandoms : love and deepspace, wbk, jjk and genshin!

tropes : oh my oh my, i’m a sucker for best friend / childhood friends to lovers au. or meet cute moments.

what’s my type : i feel like my type is all over the place tbh, because i think the charas i fall for are all very different but i do look for someone who’s understanding and patient, but also has a great sense of humor. (esp dark humor bc that’s how i am lol) but also someone who is adventurous and helps me get out of my shell since im prone to sticking to my comfort zone T_T

favorites : sakura, suo and ume. gojo, choso and toji. sylus and xavier. ga ming, zhongli and kaeya.

icks : hmm, i can’t think of any rn tbh lol.

i thinkkk tht’s all 😮‍💨 once again congratulations it’s very much deserved 🤍🤍🤍

Whimsy bb oh my goodness I actually adore you please I’ll sob THANK YOU!! ٩(ˊᗜˋ)و ♡

I match you with Toji Fushiguro from JJK!

⤜♡→ Toji didn’t believe in love, not at first. Given he never received it from his family it was not a concept he understood or believed himself capable of. You changed his mind quicker than he cared to admit. It wasn’t long before you had him eating out of the palm of your hand and absolutely smitten with you.

⤜♡→ I HATE the mischaracterization that Toji is nothing more than a broke fuckboy I’m so sorry. Once he has someone who shows him the tender care and affection he is missing out on, he would do anything for them. He doesn’t mind being patient with you as you need to be just as patient as him, the both of you navigating through tumultuous waters, together.

⤜♡→ he loves your sense of humor, I feel like Toji uses humor as his own coping mechanism. So your dark humor has him splitting at the seams constantly, the both of you cracking jokes to each other. His favorite thing to do is see you smile and hear your laughter, so he’ll keep it up so long as he gets to experience your joy.

⤜♡→ Jealous and possessive are two of his character traits I’m so sorry!! So the both of you constantly have a need to have your hands on each other in public, a silent claim to the other. He loves seeing the way you blatantly claim that he’s taken to anyone who dares hit on him, there’s a warm pride that fills his chest that he cant explain.

Toji adores absolutely everything about you, from the cute way your eyes light up when talking about something you were passionate about, the way your hands feel so small in his own as you drag himself somewhere, the smell of returning to your cooking at the end of the day. He loved it all. Toji hadn’t expected to fall for you but he had. The cute girl who frequented the same coffee shop. Having caught you staring at him over the brim of your cook a few times. Relishing in the way your cheeks flushed when he smirked and winked at you as he caught you staring again. The next day he had gotten there early, pressing the barista for your usual order. He came here often enough to know when you also came into the café. S that day when you came in you saw the table already occupied, the guy who often sat across the café now at you table beckoning you over.

He smiled as you approached, pushing the cup toward you. “Hope you don’t mind some company.” The both of you had sat there for hours, just talking and relishing in the presence of the other. Toji wasn’t sure what had pulled him toward you but he was grateful it had. The months that followed filled with getting to know one another. He was endlessly grateful for your patience with him. His childhood with the Zenin’s wasn’t easy and into his adulthood he was more often used to people wanting him for his body and that was it. But not you. You showed him an affection he had never experienced, a love that he couldn’t let go of. You made him want to be a better person.

His cheeks flushed as you laughed at him, his large hands palming the pumpkin in his hands as he carved a face into it. “Toji, baby, what is that?” You said, giggles interrupting your sentence. He furrowed his brows, eyes narrowing at you playfully. “Oh yeah? Like yours is any better.” He grumbled, only for his eyes to widen at the cute face delicately carved into your pumpkin. “Alright whatever show of.” He laughs scooping you into his arms, pulling you onto his lap. He grins pressing kisses on the side of your face, lips unstopping as they began to trail down your neck. “Alright pumpkin, I got some other guts I think I need to scramble yeah?” He coos, lips pressed against your ear. He gives you one final kiss, smacking your ass playfully as he send you off to the bedroom telling you he’ll be in there in a moment. Looking down he sees his phone light up with a text from Shui as he was cleaning up the mess you both left behind, it was details of an upcoming job. He pockets his phone as he hears you calling out for him. Someone else could handle the star plasma vessel, he had everything he could ever want and more right here.

[lungfishpoem]

Okay absolutely nonsense oc bullshit go

Tw: brother abuse, uh trauma I guess. Also a bit of body horror ish gore ish on the last bits of the text

We have technically two stages of post-Evan Pierre. One is a with-clock and the other one is without-clock. Why? Because uh he completely lost notion of time and listen it's a bunch of nonsense pretty much but he cannot do shit without staring at a clock for hours because he has no notion of time or memory without one. Without-clock Pierre is a void of a person. He doesn’t remember Evan to the point where he accidentally calls him "my sister" (no, nothing transgender here it's just his memory being fucked. Ps you dont want Evan as a transgender icon). The only things he knows in this state is whoever is his doctor (he counts time with doctor visits), flowers he had in his garden, his mother (who he writes letters to) and an angel he believes to be his only friend (any coincidences with irl me are on purpose and SHUT UP!!!) . He is stuck in an almost motionless state, reactionless and overall blank state of emotions n shit like he is just like this all the time 😐. Then his doctors decided to give him a clock (!!!) and ever since then he slowly starts regaining sense of time and starts to try and do things with a strict routine which helps him recover slowly. Then he starts remembering shit (according to him his angel tells him about it all). And oh boy doesn't he HATE Evan. He however is constantly in the AGONY of seeing himself being similar to his brother. The way he smiles, the way he talks and tries to coerce people into doing what he wants. Every time he realizes that he wants to kill himself essentially. He smiles more, though not completely genuine. He is a bit more obvious with his clock and angel obsessions too. Staring at the floor becomes staring at the time and counting seconds until the time hits a chore time (like eating food time). Anyways I'm bad at explaining stuff I'm better at writing the fuckers. But I won't write so soon so whatever. Oh isn't Pierre DELIGHTED to meet Ian when he discovers that Ian dated Evan. Like oohh is it my brothers fault youre here too? :) :) isnt that funnney :) :) anyways want to date ME I pinky promise to be awesome differently from my horrid brother (he isnt awesome he is also a horrible bf but dont tell him that otherwise he'll go mad because he was once again haunted by how similar he is to Evan)

If you want to know WHY he hates Evan so much it's essentially because Evan hurt him in MANY ways and managed to always SOMEHOW put the blame on Pierre himself. Also Pierre because of this constant abuse got so traumatized that he developed whatever is wrong with him and then Evan proceeded to prohibit Pierre to visit their mother (who he loved very much) because "it would be bad for her health to see you in this state". So Pierre can only talk to her via letters in which he pretends to be OK. I'm still deciding if Evan ever tried one of his little Playing God art experiments on Pierre but chances are that yes. But since Pierre is alive it means he managed to escape or make Evan stop whatever he was doing. (Context: Evan likes stealing bodies to sew and mold them into more beautiful creatures in his taste. Trying to see if he can invent something completely new and consider himself better than God Itself. Something super corny like that).

(These ocs are overall speaking very corny over the top bullshit. Dont get me started on Ian.)

[qpr-culture-is]

I know it's not really a confessions blog or something like that but I'm just so confused and lost and I just want to describe my feelings to someone. English is not my first language, sorry for any mistakes

So first of all I'm trans, I think it's pretty important to the story, kinda had a transphobic phase because my country it's not only very lgbtqphobic but our queer community is also very hostile towards trans people, like more than I have seen in other communities, so it's common. Pretty closed about this, tried to come out to some of my friends and classmates almost 2 years ago now, went wrong, don't talk to them and become very paranoid. Not even planning to tell someone about me being trans before a lot of people transferred to our class, they all were added in our group chat and I immediately pin pointed this dude with gerard way as their pfp who then asked to refer to him with he/him only and use other name. Holy shit. I literally never in my life seen an openly trans person, not even a closed one, never interacted with someone also trans irl so it was HUGE for me. Skipped first week of school, was kinda worried that I'm going to be an outcast, but that I finally meet him, and like the first thing he said to me was "wait are you that person with *fandom* as your pfp?" so we immediately connected. I was on cloud nine because he is SO COOL and only a few girls in our class are deadnaming him and it's so nice no one is being mean to him and I think it kinda changed my way of viewing how people will react if I come out to them. Because most people just don't care. Then I gave him my other socials and he saw me using any pronouns and he was like hey! How do i refer to you! Cool! And i told him that I'm actually also trans and he never ever questioned or doubted it even though I'm pretty fem presenting.

So yeah I rambled sorry it was just a really cool experience really cool dude. So the reason why I'm writing to qpr blog it's because I lately started catching feelings for him?? But I'm not in love?? I don't really know how to explain this but for a really long time I was just thinking that I just have a friend crush then that I want to date him and like I knew about qpr and I knew that qpr is way more complex and it's not just the secret third thing after dating and being friends. But like, I want to kiss him and give him gifts in a way that I view as romantic but when he's mentioning dating or his exes I don't feel a thing. Today was weird, I slept for only 3 hours and felt a little bit wonky, so I said a lot of things that were like straight up flirting. And I felt embarrassed and blushed and shit but not in "hehe I flirted with my crush!!" way but more in "holy shit it was embarrassing why did I say it" way. And he also talked about a guy that he has a very weird relationships with for the past 2 years, he said that like yeah we're friends but not really we had some periods of dating but not really and he also constantly flirts with other people including me. And I was just yeah kill him and didn't thought much of it, not jealous or sad that he have something going on with other people, but I still want to date him, but in friends way. So after I pondered about it for a while I think that I just want to have that Secret Third Thing with him. Still feel lost because I never felt like that before and because I think that I'm alloromantic and I was in romantic relationships before so I know how I act when I'm in love with people. With him it's so close what I feel when I'm in love with someone but at the same time it's so different and such weird foreign felling. Woud like to hear some advice for how people realised or what people feel and want in qpr relationships, I know it's different for a lot of people, but I want to hear something from heros who read this wall of text

Giving you a little breakdown of things I have noted;

-You can absolutely be alloromantic and want a qpr/have a squish

-To me it does sound like it may be a squish

-All in all you'll have to make that decision for yourself, and it could very well just be the fact that you've never connected with a person like you have with him before so it's all a bit different for you

And here's a bit of my past experiences

It's really a bit hard to remember since it's been forever, and given I'm aroace squishes have always seemed like legitimate crushes (in a weird way) so keep that in mind.

The last squish I remember having was a little over a year ago. I really connected with the person and they made me laugh a lot. I felt pulled to them in some kind of way. I wanted to spend time with them and I wanted to be called their partner. It was just,,, different than my previous feelings towards friends. Now, if it weren't for events that happened later on, I could have very well been convinced it was a romantic crush (we ended up in a romantic relationship for a bit but my aro ness got in the way and I began to feel very uncomfortable with the whole thing), and am honestly not sure how to differentiate those feelings from that of a romantic crush.

The only other time I can think of having a squish would be quite a while back, and at the time I was completely convinced it was romantic (I had not even really been aware of the aro and ace labels at the time). Once again, the feelings were towards a close friend. They were my best friend in fact, and at the time I really thought we understood each other like nobody else did, and it was almost as if we were very drawn to each other. Contrary to what you noted, there was a bit of jealousy here and there when they were with someone else later on (tho I know believe to be more in a platonic context anyways). And... thats basically all I've got

So those are my main experiences with having squishes, if that gives you an idea of what to expect from one. I'd also like to say that I'm so sorry for taking so long to reply to this! I've been a bit busy the last few weeks and am currently on holiday break now and haven't felt up to doing a whole lot (and keep forgetting to post as well)

[cartoonrival]

Nrto/Brto for 3 10 & 17?

bro literally the wider naruto fandom sucks so bad idek where to begin

3. screenshot or description of the worst take you've seen on tumblr

i dont have a specific example so instead im gonna give a general gripe about a trend that ive seen in many takes over time

the black and white thinking and refusal to think for half a second about characters other than ur faves Reminds Me Of Something!real ones know. the way people talk about any character with any sort of greyness to their morality kinda makes me crazy and i lowkey think ppl bring up kishimoto TOO MUCH in their discussion of the storys themes bc while obviously like its important to talk abt WHY he wrote it the way he did esp wrt nationalism and all, i think also it sort of dulls ur ability to think anything complex about it if u blame everything u dont like or think was "sloppily done" on kishimoto. judging every character based on kishimoto's morals instead of their own if that makes sense? its not like "the wrong way to do things" i just personally find it really boring when thats the only way youll look at a text. like no wonder you guys are constantly making jokes about how naruto sucks and you'd never recommend it, you wont even allow yourselves to think about the story as its own piece of art beyond just "kishimoto wrote it this way because he sucks" like do you ever think maybe youre killing some of the fun of media analysis... i think its why so many people hate sakura or kakashi or itachi or anyone else. and this always comes out in the way ppl characterize bc theyre like Um I've Fixed Them :) and then its the blandest shit ever because you absolutely refuse to work even slightly WITH the story you claim to love, only fighting tooth and nail against it.

some examples of what i mean w this: basically any conversation about itachi that tries to categorize him as either good or bad. basically any conversation about sakura that tries to do literally anything or nothing with her. people making sns blandly romantic as if the insane and inventive ways they talk about their feelings for each other in canon isnt genuinely part of what makes it so maddeningly fascinating and awesome. anyone who thinks kakashi is a bad teacher. its just this refusal to meet the characters where they are and think of anything in terms of the text itself rather than exclusively in a meta way, ie "this is how it would be if it was good." no its not. you just made it how it would be if it was bland and obvious. dont you literally think the fact that the guy writing it was accidentally writing his characters to be struggling against the same shit that he was struggling against irl and struggling to keep Out of his writing is like. wildly fascinating and part of waht makes the story intersting to pick apart. but ok. this also applies to aspects of boruto primarily sasusaku and naruhina marriages. no one gets it like i doooooo

10. worst part of fanon

everybodys always shipping kakashi with someone and its never even guy. if youre gonna ship kakashi it had better fucking be with guy bc theres gen srs no one else he would be caught dead romancing with and i cant even see how you could read any of his other relationships as romantic. he doesnt even HAVE a relationship with iruka. i get that not every ship has to have canon support but its all either 1) literally not even interesting to think about or 2) what they have actually going on is way more interesting but see my response to question 3. its the same with gaara honestly the more i think about it the more annoyed i get about the ignorance surrounding just-short-of-canon aroace gaara ToT like if u didnt know then ok... but you should learn because its awesome. i just thinking the shipping culture in the fandom is annoying like everyone has to be shipped with someone and that seems to come before their genuinely interesting relationships. and those genuinely interesting relationships are sanded down into something normal. idk this is a gripe that goes w Many Many fandoms but i feel like w naruto its particularly bad largely on account of See Previous Answer. ppl are like "its written this way bc kishimoto is homophobic i will fix this" then they make it suck because shockingly ik kishi actually wrote a good as fuck story if deeply flawed

17. there should be more of this type of fic/art

ill be fr i dont gen seek out fics or art independently to be 100% sure that stuff i'd be looking for isn't out there somewhere. but i think ppl really really should just. think about sakura more. i literally love her sm but ppl won't think abt her beyond either 1) she sucks and i hate her (but this is because of kishimoto's writing and has nothing to do with me! if i rewrote naruto then she wouldn't be there 😌 this is a kindness to her and not because i cant be assed to think about a woman for 5 seconds) or 2) girlboss!!!! like.... is that scene in the land of iron not BIBLICAL to anyone else....??? is her devotion to someone she's lost faith in out of loyalty to someone she loves and is losing her ability to understand not FASCINATING???? TO ANYONE ELSE???? IS THE WAY SHE PICKS UP THE TRAITS OF HER TEACHER THAT HE SPECIFICALLY IS NOT MEANING TO PASS ON TO HER NOT HEARTWRENCHING???????? you people suck. instead you write ooc sns over and over and draw kakashi without his mask kissing fucking obito

[i-need-some-advice-on]

i already sent this to another blog, but didn't really get advice so I'm trying here,

Me and my friend group used to be friends with this person, C, and C was really toxic: like they'd yell and scream at me for having interests (Like once I mentioned I enjoyed Taylor Swift music and got told to kill myself, and another time i was talking about how I enjoy loud events like concerts and they were like "I bet you like pep rallies" [<- me not clocking onto them like making fun of me] and i was like "omg! I do!" because i thought back to the pep rally I had the same day and my school brought in a fire dancer so really C's loss) and they would constantly guilt trip and manipulate us, and there was this one time where C and I got into an argument (For them being a bitch) and an hour later they went into our group's venting chat and was all like "I have these thoughts about killing people in this group chat" how am I meant tot take that?? Cause I took it as "oh shit, this online friend who knows my address and has seen my face wants to kill me." and i freaked out and deactivated my account and deleted the platform cause it just wasn't good for my mental health to be there. I ended up going back because I'm one of the older people in that group chat and I view most of them as my little siblings who I just want to make sure they're all safe and they were all worried for me. I went back and looked at the chats from when I was gone and C was twisting the story to be like "Oh Connie (me) was being really bitchy, and trying to push a narrative that I was manipulative towards them so he's trying to make it seem like I'm in the wrong" which yk i just did not feel safe so sure whatever

Later, me and some friends ended up talking about it, because this friend who is like just barely not a child and younger than C had so much worse experiences with C, this friend (R) is in a really bad place mentally and ended up coming to the group whenever they got into an episode where they would be in danger of harming themselves and what did C do? C started saying stuff like "It'd be cool if we killed ourselves at the same time" ????? what the fuck!?!?!? you don't just say that?????? Especially not to a child who needs to be talked out of killing themselves????? thank fucking god R didn't do anything and another friend was there to call C out because actually if I ever meet C irl I'm going to jail. C also ended up doxxing R and I got all the screenshots of that and we ended up kicking C out.

Now, I WISH that was the end of that, that both us in the group and C moved on, but C keeps on venting about us and twisting the story to make us seem like the bad guys saying stuff like "I still think about that friend group that kicked me out because I have poor memory/for my NPD" when in fact we didn't KNOW that C is a. a system and b. has NPD

But, also if I'm gonna say something, C's DID is really weird, like they ONLY have altars from their weird yaoi anime (that they tried to force me and some people to watch while C talked about their piss kink- it was weird) and all their alters are trans masc, I might just be uneducated so if any systems could like tell me if that's weird or not thanks. They use their disorders against a lot, like saying stuff like they weren't the one "controlling" their body when they said all that stuff and that they can't help but act the way they do because of the NPD, but correct me if I'm being wrong, having NPD doesn't tell your "friends" that you want to kill them? Inside thoughts maybe?

So, C keeps venting and ranting about us and we've told him multiple times that we DONT want them to keep talking about us, especially cause they tag the youngest member of our group(E) who they used to rant and vent and guilt-trip the worst in post that make E feel bad about kicking them out.

They recently vented about us and it was the final straw, I called them out of their shitty behavior in the replies (I didn't want to reblog and not only draw more attention to the post, but also I didn't want that negativity on my page) but one things led to another and my group and I were getting hate asks and anonymous death threats sent to us, I got the worst of it with a bunch of rape and death threats and when I made a post being like "Hey! This isn't cool!" C told the anons in my replies (Not a reblog mind you, a comment.) to dm them instead of telling anon to stop. I'mn a victim on s/a, and so being told by someone that they'd come to my house and s/a me really wasn't good for my mental health and I ended up having a break down and relapsing on my s/h that night

We kept telling C to stop venting about us and just apologize for their shitty behavior and they sounds they wouldn't stop either because they "have a right to post this stuff" and they can't apologize for stuff they don't remember or stuff they don't believe they did wrong, they ended up blocking me and three-four others but left R unblocked because R wasn't in the argument (And we learned later that R had another episode one night and apologized to C, which none of us are mad at R for we were just shocked because R had absolutely nothing to apologize for and C had nothing to forgive R for)

I just want advice on how to get C to stop posting twisted vents about us and/or actually make them see what they did to us really fucked us over and that C isn't the victim. Can we ever do that? I'm tired of C acting like we were so bad to him when C would throw fits if we weren't constantly giving him all of our attention

.

[manicinnerthoughts]

I realized today that a huge part of my issue is that I genuinely have no idea who I am. I don't think I ever really knew who I was. I adopted my brother's taste in music and my mother's love for art. The only thing I know for sure is that I am a black female with a shitload of trauma.

I didn't get to grow up with any black influences in my life. Never met my dad's side of the family, the only black figures in my life were my mom's countless boyfriends, and I went to all predominantly white schools.

I've always felt like I didn't belong anywhere. I remember when I was a kid I was constantly told I'm the whitest black girl they'd ever met. It didn't help that I was light-skinned, but that's not what they were referring to; they were referring to the fact that I didn't "act black".

We were too white for the very few black kids we knew but black enough for the white kids to ask us why we didn't live in the projects and the white churchgoers to ask us if we were adopted.

My mom used to think it was funny to say that she's blacker than we are because she grew up with all black people and went to predominantly black schools. Yet somehow didn't think it was important for her black children to experience anything other than whiteness.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Another thing I have realized recently is that nobody knows me outside of the basic information: my name, where I grew up, my favorite color, my hobbies, and my favorite animals. Even my IRL friends couldn't tell you anything about my life, any genuine knowledge about me.

I want people to know me, but my adult life and my childhood have been 90% trauma and I don't even know where to begin to explain this shit to anyone. I mean, I guess I kinda did that above; I'd like to say that the issues surrounding my ethnicity and identity sums up my childhood trauma, but that's not even the beginning.

I guess it really started by being repeatedly ripped away from my family. I had been in 5 RTFs, 2 respite homes, 2 foster homes, and 3 outpatient facilities by the time I was 17 (which is actually when I was diagnosed with autism). On top of that, we lived in 4 different homes before I graduated high school so I quite literally moved around my entire life.

Imagine being 5 years old and having just been removed from your household for the very first time. Now imagine going through that regularly throughout your childhood. That alone fucks kids up.

My entire life consisted of being the new girl; getting used to new rules, adjusting to new personalities, struggling to make friends; making friends then leaving them.

That's a lot of change for an undiagnosed autistic child (or even an NT child) to go through.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

My life has been a majority of being abused and I genuinely have very few happy memories growing up. My mom has done a lot of fucked up things to me; she's called me racial slurs, thrown things at me, hit me, and even burned me, but none of that compares to the fact that she did nothing to protect me from her boyfriend (I'm assuming you understand where this is going. I don't want to go into detail) Instead of being a loving mother and breaking up with him to keep me safe she kicked me out a few months after I graduated.

That's how I left one abuser for another.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I had just graduated high school & moved directly into a homeless shelter for a little while. Before I got kicked out I started talking to a guy I went to school with and he said I could stay with him for a while. I was so happy to get out of there that I said yes and I moved in with him.

I stayed with him for 8 years and during those 8 years I was raped repeatedly, held hostage, beaten, and he tried to kill me twice (I know a lot of you are probably thinking you could've just left, but we lived in a third-story apartment and he quite literally imprisoned me. I am also epileptic so I didn't have a license and no family to stay with).

To this day I automatically assume everyone I meet is going to hurt me. My friends have hurt me, my mom has hurt me, the man who claimed he loved me has hurt me. I genuinely fear getting close to people now to the point I isolate myself in a room.

I have tried so hard to heal from all of the shit I have been through. I'm afraid I'm stuck hating myself and everyone around me and I have no clue how to change my view of myself and my view on the world around me.

I know this has probably jumped around a lot and for that I apologize. This has just been me manically writing about shit I struggle to cope with.

[sadieanimalcrossing]

i feel like its finally time to do this.

after she denied my venmo request today, i am finally ready to discuss what happened between me and gemma. i will include proof to the extent that i am able and will update frequently when i can find a way to get photos of my weirdly hacked (seriously) island.

gemma and i were really close, which is probably why this has ended in so much chaos. we met irl a few times during meetups for witches. despite not seeing each other in person frequently, we were constantly meeting up in our new horizons islands. this is where we formed most of our friendships

the point is, since we are both witches, it gets crazier from here.

tldr: my close friend turned on me and took revenge in a really weird way and i have been begging for compensation, which has not come.

so our friendship started in 2021, last year, in the summer time probably in june. we were both interested in witchcraft and would frequently discuss spells we've worked and actually working on some together for a while. like i said we got close.

for reasons i don't feel need to be disclosed we started having a usual friendship falling out starting at the beginning of october. i noticed some weird vibes coming off of her the more we chatted and the last time we met up in person was when things got extremely dicey. we had an argument about stupid stuff and i left way later than planned, which also upset me. i accidentally left my switch in her apartment and had to literally exit my bus and go back to get it. her text gave me weird vibes but i figured i was just being weird.

everything was fine until i got home. when i turned on my switch to do my animal crossing dailies, things had changed. for starters, it was raining red drops in my town and the rain was causing my villagers pain. like they had no umbrellas, and the rain was making them do the little stressed out blue wiggle reaction. i was a little off-put by this because of course who would expect that, but i persisted.

my town was renamed to DIE SADIE, which isabelle saying so happily was ALSO off-putting. i had mail. it was from "your enemy", which was definitely a letter from gemma, which i managed to take a pic of (my left joycon is badly broken, its a struggle to take pics fast enough):

when i began to walk around, there were graveyard decors everywhere. all of my villagers houses were back to being tents (yes she EVICTED them) and when i talked to them they would just tell me to go away and that they didnt like me anymore. i went to see sheldon because he still had his house intact and this is what he said to me:

i turned it off because i realized where it was gonna go. i have tried to reboot it again it turns itself off. should i try and get a video of it? i havent tried again for fear of actually damaging my switch, so i'm just trying to get a new cartridge, which i venmoed her the funds for and she denied. i have actually felt so spiritually drained from this entire thing and i think its because i told her that it was like my favorite game that she targeted my island.

shes definitely never going to give a shit. but i cant stop giving a shit.

i literally JUST want people to know what she did to show that it was wrong. like she just doesn't give a shit and i really cared about it, so what if it was just a village to me it was my cyberspace. please care GEMMA. it was my only joy. i am scorned but i wont curse you, i liked you too much. thank you for reading if you got this far.

[balkanballad]

Heyy J i need love life advice! So, i met this guy almost a week ago, and we went out on Monday and it went really well I'd say and then he texted me when he got home and talked until we go to sleep. And then I texted him next day and again the convo was really good and talked for hours. But he hasn't texted me since. I mean, he seemed to like me a lot and we agreed it's not on friendly terms and that we'd date in a chill way. And i know maybe it's too soon to obsess but am I obsessed and paranoid for wanting a text? Of course not meeting everyday, but like a text? So yeah, now idk what to do and how long should I wait or if I should text again to see how is the thing going. I don't like to beg for someone's attention but also I like him a lot and I'd like to try a little bit more just to not have regrets. What do you think?

Hi dear! I always love when you girlies run to me with these, but I also like to add (always) that I am probably not the best best person to ask, considering my own messes :) anyway, I don't think there's anything paranoid or obsessive here. I personally don't believe in waiting x-amount of time rules or no double texting or anything like that. Text them and trust your gut, do the vibes still for etc. Being constantly left on read or one worded answers and such can hint to no interest, but I also know some people who are simply the worst texters and we still are friends and talk a lot irl. I myself am not a great texter tbh, I'd much rather talk it out, even on a phone call.

I think if you want to try and have no regrets, do exactly that. Idk if suggesting a walk or going to a café together is a possibility in your case, but that's what I would do.

Either way, I hope it works out and even if not, you will have an answer and you tried! Good luck and feel free to keep me updated. I am rooting for you 💋

[mersu-chan]

y'know what really sucks about society?

growing up as a kid (not realizing i was autistic) was in hindsight such a pain and exhausting, etc. like, it's so funny (sad) how i could simultaneously want desperately to make friends and also not give a damn shit because most ppl in school were extremely fake and i didn't want to waste time socializing with someone who really doesn't care about me. i never really had a problem with school, but it also wasn't really a good experience either, y'know?

so now, i, living in a society that constantly puts neurodivervent ppl at a disadvantage, find myself with no real connections or friends that i can rely on when i feel the need for them most (not including my best friends whom i've met online. but it's not like i can meet them irl y'know?)

so anyways. having been isolated from society as a whole, i now find myself stuck living with two emotionally abusive parents, one of which i have been repeatedly taught by society that i should be helping, lest i be a terrible person (she is my mother. she is physically disabled. and i am her caregiver.)

even when i find the mental strength to disregard society's unwritten obligations, i am unable to. i grew up without a stable support system. i live in a society; in a city where affordability is shit and i could never afford to live anywhere on my own if i wanted to. i have been actively seeking out a job that actually gives me more hours for over a year now. everyone competes for the same jobs. i continue getting job interviews. they always pass me up for someone else (even when i am more than qualified enough. and let's be real, it's probably because i am neurodivervent. even if i don't disclose that.)

i have three friends i know irl. one of them lives far away from me. one of them i haven't spoken to since high school. the third lives in the basement of a house the next city over with her husband and is expecting her third child. even if i wanted to, i couldn't stay with her. there isn't even enough space for me if i tried.

so i stay. i continue to retraumatize myself over and over. because i know it's my best opinion. if i left, i would live underneath a tree.

how is it that i can live in a country where i can simultaneously be privileged but also not really have anything? (i am a neurodivervent, gender nonconforming person of color. society would view me as a woman. i do not fit even close into the average clothing size. in a society that already is flawed. where the majority of people would probably classify as poor given the accelerated rate of inflation, etc.)

i feel that it's important to note, that i don't even live in the united states (since i'm sure a lot of people assume. heck, i assume a lot of the time that people are lol)

i also feel that i should say i'm not fishing for compliments or sympathy. i know that, despite everything, i am still privileged. i am just trying to find a way to express how i feel regardless of society trying to silence me.

thank you for coming to my ted talk. (lol)

[m1ckeyb3rry]

Love me some angst!! So true though I can imagine it kinda being like the “want what you can’t have” thing where you’d have to be uninterested to catch his eye..also I’m so excited to read every installment makes me stan bestie a little more like where’s my irl girlie like this??

Oh yeah stagnant is the word I’m looking for…I’ve never prayed on the downfall of a duo so hard before they NEEDED that breakup no matter what all the fans say like please let them develop!! As you mention later in your reply I do think kaneshiro has something in mind for nagi I’m just hoping it happens soon!! What kinda also throws me off a bit is I think in a recent interview kaneshiro mentions that Nagi has no friends outside of reo even within bllk? And I’m like wait what about Isagi chigiri and Bachira at least they literally went bowling together and were gonna meet at a cafe together??? I don’t think you do that with people not considered friends but whatever ig :|

Based off what they’ve all spouted mid match they DEF have a mean streak LMAO gotta let out all that teenager rage somewhere…even polite mom friend yuki based of NEL scenes LOL but I love the duality of it all!

Loser on loser crime fr…reminds me of that one line from the mobile game where Nagi’s like “sheesh rin you have no friends” like boy ik ur not talking

The soccer freak always gets me because the way Rin’s presented makes him seem super popular BECAUSE of his soccer dedication flipping it around and making it his weakness just makes it hit harder

That makes sense! I’ll admit some scenes of him are done nicely but yeah also not exactly my type oops, when I was typing out my last response I was kinda thinking about how his backstory is uh…a little bland…like yeah a passionate boy about soccer but other than that he’s got a healthy family and basically no trauma (good for him!!) but yeah I mean other than his mindset on like evolution not much to explore imo

Get. Out. I was an MLP kid too LMAOOO you’re so right about rainbow dash I feel like maybe he’d try to cover himself up with like king sombra too (shadowy villain to match his ninja shadow steps thing or wtv) and I honestly don’t know how he pulls sm he seems like such a dork too like, ninja butt trap?? Saying bam (bakyuun) at like every other sentence….bro is a geek and it’s showing LMAO I bet he’d be into ninjago

OVER 15K we’re eating good guys…I’m also like constantly lurking the tags waiting for things to pop up which is where I first found you actually LOL I swear the karasu tag was dry as HELL for a good 6 months I kept finding stuff on a diff karasu from some other series and the Otoya and yuki tags are like even drier like please someone…you’re literally saving me rn I have never seen this much Karasu content like. Ever. I would contribute more if I knew how to write but for now I’ll just stick to ideas ig LMAO

That panel living rent free in my brain…more like I’m paying it to stay there omg I cannot wait…I’m also hoping that tabieitaken still get some spotlight in the manga too (I’m so glad Karasu isn’t obsolete in PxG) because how did they go from top 345, not score at all in the u20 match, and like we barely see them in nel (barcha done so dirty don’t even get me started…) like bring the boys back please I know they were the top in bllk for a reason!!

Also I really hope it also gets revealed somewhere the tracks of all the teams?? I wanna find out how they get yuki eventually LOL I tried making a chart myself but lost my mind 3/4 of the way in because I realized things didn’t match up and the many locked off npcs make it hard to accurately discern anything eugh…but trust once 1) that epinagi chapter comes out 2) the light novel for yuki comes out I will be back here flooding your inbox…(as if I don’t alr oops)

- Karasu anon

yes exactly i think you would have to make him feel smth different from how he normally does for him to remain interested long-term. w fwtkac bestie it’s the fact that they dislike another which could lead to a possible romance because he’s so used to girls liking him and him liking them in return that their feud would force him to get to know her in a diff way almost?? idk if that makes sense. and hehe i just posted the last part and bestie is VERY prominent in it so i hope you enjoy!! she truly is such a funny character i love writing her and reader together

YES the breakup was needed!! and everyone who talks abt nagi falling off…yeah he needed that too or else he’d never be able to have a proper character arc 😭 i think w regards to that he just said that nagi isn’t CLOSE to anyone but reo!! which does make sense to me. we see him interacting and being friendly w bachira isagi and chigiri (even karasu surprisingly) but he seems like the type who wouldn’t let anyone in right away. i do think he enjoys hanging out w them and probably considers them chill buddies but he wouldn’t invite isagi to his depression nest apartment the way he did reo. or maybe i’m just overthinking it and he actually just hates everyone 😫

yuki is honestly willing to throw hands at any moment he just seems chill compared to tabieita because those two are on another level 😭 HAHA actually though i’m p sure otoya is the least mean on-field…he kinda just dgaf meanwhile karasu and yuki actively degrade other players 😔 but otoya is so…interesting…off field that it makes up for it (negatively)

HAHAHA omg loser on loser crime fr…pls nagi is actually so mean tbh which makes sense because he is a gamer but also it’s so funny because we’re introduced to him as this apathetic chill guy and then the instant he meets barou he pulls out an entire ARSENAL of insults 😭 yeah i think outside of bllk that dedication to soccer is not making bro popular…like he has no time for friends or hobbies or anything because he’s busy practicing so it’s very much “the best but at what cost”

shidou def has some cool scenes!! and some uh. well. LMAOO but same with isagi like there’s some scenes where i can kinda see the appeal but for the most part he’s too chill and basic looking/acting for me. i also think it’s so funny that some of the characters have such crazy backstories (kaiser, yuki) and then isagi just grew up upper middle class 😓 zero issues in his life just vibes

OMGGG MLP FANS RISE UP my fav was rarity because she’s literally me but i also really liked princess cadence!! and that whole movie w her wedding actually was really good although i obv haven’t watched in ages. HAHAH no you’re so right though he is such a loserrr i honestly think if he ever got over himself and settled down he would be one of the best bfs in bllk just because he’s so secretly unserious. he’s definitely the type to have been super into like. pokémon (projecting because i love pokémon) or smth and he would give entire speeches about why his favorites are the best ones (NOT clickbait 3am gone wrong) and how he plans on beating the champion. he also is so chill i feel like if you tried to prank him or do smth like put makeup on him he’d just be like “ok 👍” and go along with it 😪 IF ONLY HE WASN’T A CHEATER 😕

omg no because i thought the karasu tag was empty and then i tried looking for otoya content (help he’s grown on me so bad) and it was EMPTY. forget abt yuki broooo nobody even knows him 😭 and YES it ended up at 16.1k as i’m sure you saw!! sooo long 😫 also wait that’s so funny…idt i had posted any karasu fics before your requests which post did you find me through??

if you ever do decide to try writing lmk i will def read it!! honestly it all comes down to practice + i’m sure you’re much better than you realize 💖

YES BRO WHY ARE YUKI AND OTOYA GHOSTING ATM??? i can even kind of understand otoya because he’s on a diff team and whatnot and at least his nel ranking is good but yuki is quite literally on bm why did he vanish after mancity 😓 also yesss omg bm vs barcha didn’t even feel like a nel game at all!! i saw a post where someone said they would’ve rather seen tabieita heading a nel team instead of reonagi and honestly i agree because that’s 3 and 4 in bllk right there plus they were introduced as having the best teamwork in all of bllk and that was just never brought up again after third selection?? ig it might’ve seemed redundant but in my dreams tabieita have reunited and are eating it up together 👆🏻

YAYY can’t wait!! i’m so excited for the ln chapters and the new epinagi chapter so i will be ready to yap once they’re out 🫡