#they all collectively gay tho
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some doodles 💕 (also fuck drawing with a pen that shit is frustrating) i’ll probably redraw these on my tablet later
i hc that the turtles are half black-half japanese, so of course my ocs are the same. i’ve never drawn black characters before, so i looked at references and other artists’ work but i definitely want to work on their human forms a bit more; so any tips would be awesome!
#my art#tmnt#rottmnt#tmnt au#rottmnt au#tmnt oc#rottmnt oc#teenage mutant ninja turtles#rise of the teenage mutant ninja turtles#rise of the tmnt#DON’T LOOK AT SHARKIE’S VEST I GOT FRUSTRATED#Temi loves and supports all of her siblings#will aggressively correct someone if they use the wrong pronouns for any of her siblings#they all collectively gay tho
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listen I’m not gonna pretend like dead apple isn't a confusing story that probably needs a rewatch/read to fully grasp, but I swear ppl will say the plot was incomprehensible (or somehow claim there was no plot at all) and then only talk about the dazai and chuuya scenes. well maybe if you paid any attention to the literal main character you would understand dead apple
#just say you don't care about atsushi like.#dead apple is so important to atsushi's character development#I just hate that it gets ignored as a fever dream with some gay skk scenes#ITS ABOUT LEARNING TO ACCEPT AND LIVE WITH TRAUMA AAAGHHHH#anyway.#I don't know why but I've been thinking about dead apple today#I should rewatch it and also get a copy of the book to complete my ln collection. even tho I hate the cover#my friend has a copy of it with almost all of the english va signatures of the characters on the cover and I'm jealous#max is speaking
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PHYSICAL MEDIA TIL I DIE 🗡️ (titane dvd design by yours truly)
#hard to scan because all that black bg is hand drawn so the paper has gone all wavy lol#and all the grey parts are reflective irl!!! silver sharpie my beloved (it died while drawing this)#this was part of a present for my dads birthday but i love how it turned out so much#so much fun to draw looks so cool illustration that encompasses art and movies this is the kinda shit i want to do!!!!#sucks that we're in an era now where so many films don't get physical releases :(#rate my collection in the bg tho lmao#anyway. i love weird horror movies i love being an artist i love being gay i hope the mutuals enjoy this one as much as i do#art#illustration#fanart#privartidahos#artist#film#mixed media#movie#titane#julia ducournau#titanium#agathe rousselle#alexia#adrien legrand#horror#poster design#pencil sketch#artists on tumblr#screencap redraw#titane 2021#french#france
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every single time this damn goblin posts something gay😭
#käärijä#jere pöyhönen#not suprised at all tbh#pls dont stop being gay tho#he be collecting boyfriends like pokemons
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OC RNG stuff.
-Lucinda is engaged to the oldest prince in a family of nine where there are 8 brothers and then the youngest is the only girl. She adores her future husband. -Ink Blot is a really dumb mage who acts as a street performer using fake magic despite being an actual mage. He just wants to be the center of attention. -Ruby and Luce are from the same plot (thank you RNG I love the dream wardens). They're part of different pairs and basically just patrol to keep dreams in check. Ruby and Luce also don't really meet each other in canon. Their routes don't overlap but they both interact with the main duo which is Colette and Marcus. (Ruby wants to beat Marcus up while Luce wants to kiss Marcus for what it matters.)
#i really love luce hes just so calm and collected in front of marcus and colette to try and look reliable#but hes actually one of the younger wardens who is made to replace his partner's old partner#so hes with sil and sil is just watching him for the first decade like why is he so awkward#when will he warm up to me or the other wardens he meets why is he always so tense#and then something happens and luce is sent into a panic because he learns that marcus used to laugh with sil and the retired warden#hes like ???? WHY DOES HE HATE ME ? WHAT DID I DO? and sil is like the guy is older than me and doesnt do change well#thats all there is to it he got used to my old partner and youre a wrench in the comfort zone hell get over it tho#and when marcus laughs for the first time in front of luce it is SO over for luce he would do anything for marcus#but then you get marcus who is telling colette i have to say things took an unexpected turn with sils partner#i went from fine with robert to being abandoned by robert to do you think luce is cute cause i think hes cute#and marcus is very much IM SO GAY which is fair cause colette is like MM YEAH SAME#and then you guys gotta realize i love my silly lil prince group where the oldest bro has a really cool future wife#and then the second oldest is like hey bro im stealing your wife for the afternoon and lucinda is like i see i see#and then the second oldest and lucinda just spend the entire afternoon dancing and shes happy to indulge him#then the third oldest is the original main one where he and the castle witch are on a mission to help another kingdom#but like the fact the oldest has an arranged marriage with a woman he loves#and the second youngest is in love with the son of two castle aids#who happens to be 40 and very worn out with stress from having to turn the second oldest down all the time#then the third oldest has a crush on a prince from the kingdom hes trying to help but the crush is on like an 18 year old#so the 2nd and 3rd oldest are constantly bickering over what the other sees in their crushes#anyway hi i love my ocs (gestures to them)#and ink was a really minor character in the plot bc it was mostly me paying attention to a dumbass vampire#and this thief who had to help the dumb vampire get home bc he has no sense of direction and had been abducted
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Hi, I came to report to you that your ql music research is rubbing off on me 😅 I was watching ep 2 of Ploy's Yearbook (for Joong and Namtan 😍), when suddenly I recognized a piece of music!! But I couldn't place it, so I tried to remember which series have I watched so many times that I'm familiar with the music. I reached the tentative conclusion that it must be from SIMM or possibly from Hidden Agenda (but I definitely connected it to JoongDunk). Maybe I need to do a complete rewatch of both series to confirm, what a hardship 😂 I just wanted to tell you that maybe aside from being a JD vampire bl truther, this will be your other legacy
oh my god, that's amazing!!!!!! i LOVE to hear that!!!!! i'm actually planning on making a side blog focused on shared royalty free music in thdramas, but that's something that is earliest going to happen in the summer if not in the winter. i wanna work my way through some of my fave shows first, because those are the soundtracks i'm more likely to recognize and i just wanna have them on my google doc before i go put everything in tumblr posts (which is also gonna take forever bc my google doc is currently at 100 pages worth of entries sjkfkjsfdj)
aaaaanyway, re: music in ploy's yearbook
was it by any chance desert caravan by ludvig moulin? i haven't watched ep2 yet (i was actually about to go watch it when your message came in and i couldn't help answering it first kjdkfdg), but i did see a clip of it earlier in jimmy's insta story and the scene had this music in the background. it has come up in episode 1 already as well. if it was this, then good job on connecting it to a joongdunk show because it actually has come up on hidden agenda a couple of times! i'm still missing the last 3 episodes on my music collection, but these are the time stamps so far:
ep1 pt1 - 0:13
ep3 pt2 - 0:20
ep4 pt1 - 4:32
ep8 pt4 - 8:08
And here are the time stamps for ep1 of ploy's yearbook:
ep1 pt1 - 11:10 / 17:41
ep1 pt2 - 1:50
ep2 pt1 - 9:38
ep2 pt2 - 0:27
ep2 pt3 - 3:09
ep2 pt4 - 3:07
you might also have recognized get up on that horse by spring gang as the music that plays in bad buddy at the beginning of ep7 when pat is in the car (ep7 pt1 - 1:20) or also in ep12 when patpran claim they broke up (ep12 pt3 - 3:45). oh but wait, it's definitely connected to joongdunk, you said? well, as it turns out this one has actually come up in star in my mind a lot. like. A LOT:
ep1 pt2 - 5:55
ep2 pt1 - 4:00
ep2 pt4 - 1:02
ep3 pt2 - 1:15
ep3 pt3 - 1:55
ep3 pt4 - 1:17
ep6 pt2 - 1:23
ep7 pt2 - 1:48
ep7 pt4 - 0:48
ep8 pt1 - 4:33 / 5:41
ep8 pt3 - 5:07
and here are the time stamps for ep1 of ploy's yearbook again for reference:
ep1 pt1 - 13:00
ep1 pt2 - 2:26
ep2 pt1 - 8:37
and here, have a bonus because why the fuck not: moonshiner's turn by martin landström. this one has shown up in ep1 pt4 of both bad buddy as well as 23.5 degrees. also found in ep1 of ploy's yearbook at:
ep1 pt1 - 18:53
ep1 pt3 - 6:16
ep2 pt1 - 0:35 / 17:30
well, i'm gonna go watch the new episode now! feel free to check back on this post in a couple of hours, i might edit it or add a reblog with all my findings about the music in ep2 😂
edit:
i've added the ep2 time stamps to the aforementioned ones! and i found new music as well!!
maybe the one you recognized as a joongdunk series music in ep2 was winning hand by ealot. it came up in star in my mind a couple of times:
ep1 pt4 - 3:00
ep2 pt2 - 2:20
ep4 pt2 - 9:16
ep8 pt3 - 4:17
it featured in ep2 of ploy's yearbook at following timestamps:
ep2 pt1 - 16:58
ep2 pt3 - 3:45
and there was some more bad buddy music as well (diggin' the drama by the new fools) and it amazes me that my brain immediately went "we know this!!" considering it showed up in bad buddy exactly one single time (ep7 pt2 - 13:45). bad buddy really has wormed its way into my brain in every single aspect in the last two years huh djkfkjdfg. anyway you can find it in ep2 of ploy's yearbook at:
ep2 pt1 - 11:10
apart from these, there were also two pieces of music that sounded increeeedibly familiar to me but neither shazam nor google could come up with any results! i'm gonna have to click through my "not found" list at some point, maybe they're already there. here are the time stamps if you're curious:
first one i can't find (ep2 pt3 - 2:06)
second one i can't find (ep2 pt3 - 7:09)
this is gonna bug me for a while....
#anon it makes me so happy to hear that my ramblings about thdrama music have at least one listener dfjkkdfj#and no need to rewatch the series (except if you want an excuse to do so ofc dkfjkfd) because i have it all on my list!!#you can just tell me a timestamp or shazam/google it yourself and tell me the title and i can check if it's on my list <3#also i'm telling you recognizing thdrama music is a curse really#you'll innocently be watching a video by one of your fave youtubes and suddenly be hit by a flash of ''oh this is gay thdrama music''#or you know. instagram algorithm presents you with some reel and suddenly you sit bolt upright bc you know. gay thdrama music#airenyah plappert#asks#anon#adrm#ploy's yearbook#pyb music#ha music#simm music#bbs music#23.5 music#airenyah's thdrama music collection#ok no but for real tho#the other day i saw liam carpenter's sketch on ''tschechisches streichholzschächtelchen'' and halfway through the sketch some music started#and i go ''ah yes sneaky town by playtown from bad buddy. cool cool. i am fine :))))''#thdrama music comes up on jet lag the game all the time as well#i've found thdrama music in max fosh videos and in a daniel thrasher sketch after the sketch that happens to be paid for#this skill is a curse#anyway thdrama music and joongdunk vampire bl truthing. what a legacy <3
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oh shit did i forget to come out on this blog
#uhh surprise goat lore coming this june FKJDHG#i think i left it on my main oops <3#could repost it here but uhhhhh idk what to say tbh! i also. dont know how far down it is </3#this is only very slightly related to the last thing i posted it just happened to remind me abt it#still gay trans and happily queer all round btw. but i have acquired a New Thing after 5 years of fist fighting this label#i could just repost the doodle i made but i think my ipad is dead#and im also Exhausted i want to go to bed soon </3 gonna go collect the minions#TWO animals jumped out at me on the way home. guy bothered me at my car. and i had to kill a mouse today 😔#other than all that work was fun today tho i got to talk about bugs hehe#chat
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this feels very... modern au fengqing, unrequited (actually requited) love and I just want y'all to listen with me idk
#fengqing#mu qing#feng xin#been listening to this on repeat this morning and just can't get it out my brain#lemme walk you through the scenario I'm imagining#I'm thinking early to mid-twenties gang#some kind of party at xl's#with hc hx sqx fx and mq#they're playing some random talk games y'know?#or maybe one of those get to know you card games with questions that get deeper the more rounds you play#regardless#sometime at the beginning of the night#everyone has to write down one thing for everyone in the room that makes them think of them#for example maybe hc writes down “fucking aquariums” for hx#but the things are suppaoed to stay anonymous#you can tell tho if you're familiar with your friends' handwriting#but something possesses mq to write down this song for fx's note#he doesnt think of the consequences really#but at the end of the night everyone gets to collect their notes#and mq is gay panicking#bc he was an idiot#and was way too honest and his note reveals way too much#him and fx are frenemies but he's had feelings for fx for years#but poor mq is suffering the combo of not feeling worthy of the attention of someone like fx#and also the mortifying ordeal of being emotionally honest and people /knowing/ he has a soft spot for fx#it's so terrifying he almost doesn't hand his notes over at all#each person's notes gets put onto a pile and shuffled so they stay random#but oh#fx would know that handwriting anywhere#it's just a matter of whether he'll listen to the song or not
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ok here ^_^ bookshelves. i took a bunch id never read or been interested in out so i could finally fit in most of the books that before had just been sitting on the shelves (like new irish race still is. but that deserves pride of place anyway). not pictured is the shelf full of books i dont have thr courage/will to throw out but also dont want to look at (ie. um. my cassandra clare collection and a few others)
#i hate that so many of the books are different sizes. mpstly on the pjoverse shelves#but theyre like that bc i bought the 3 hardbacks while i was in the states (hence why they all have the disney hyperion logo) but the rest#were bought here. ireland doesnt sell hardbacks on release they sell those tall paperbacks instead which i HATEEEE#the bottom corner thats mostly hidden behind taxis cat tower has my 'gay books i bought when i was 12' collection. unforch i dont own#the both die at the end but if i did i would replace what if its us with that because i dknt even like that one#theres. a LOT of books here that i only own parts of the full series bc i read them in the library first lol#um. bzrk is not counted on that list bc i Did have all 3 but then. um. Things Happened to the second book and it . was thrown out for#i like talking about my book collevtion even tho ive barely added to it since lockdown started#also that is my splatoon sticker pack i keep it there bc there is nowhere else to put it. normally theres wayyyy more on the shleves but i#took it all kff so i could actually see the books lol
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the best engagement i get is w.illiam a.fton and specific h.atter gifsets when they look slutty (affectionate) so logistically i should make more of those, but ima do what i want which is why theres been sm general h.atter n a lot of d.anielle— also bc big gifs receive more traction for some reason i’m gonna redo those s.eb in a bathtub scenes in big form at some point
#i need to do d.anr.ad too tho bc like i have nothing to rb of him#i have stuff to rb of him but you go in the edit tag and its all fucking hoory patter and until that bitch is dead i aint going there#plus i use dans newer projects anyways the full beard is more miseris than clean face#like hes a fookin do.rmouse hes meant to be floofy#‘brina why havent u done guns a.kimbo for da—‘ so fun fact#i already owned that movie bc s.amara was in it and even thoni dont use her as a fc#shes really pretty and im gay (probably bi but who knows i only like actors and fictional men)#and ive collected her discography since i saw her in p.icnic at h.anging tree which i got for the same reason basically except n.at d.orner#so i like did not know dan was in it until i put it on#bc i saw it was coming on her page when i was seeing if there were updates i needed to get#bc i do that periodically w some actors like okay i had jenna c.olemans entire discog including em.merdale until that garddrive died#so now i dont have it but i still go to find the new stuff ok occassion when i remember#i dont watch almost any of it but i own it#i forgot where i was going w this i have work today but my adhd has been really really bad the last few days#tbd
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Im seeing this girl rn and shes like a lvl 1 anime aware person and i tend to think im like a level 8 or so, and i just keep saying shit she has no idea about and having to back pedal. I really dont mind
I have to introduce her to Miss Hatsune Miku next time we meet up. Cant She kinda signed up cus our first planned hang was to watch sailor moon and i showed up to that hang with the first volume of the fancy versions of sailor moon sailor v and the older then me art book. All this so i could explain how little of the sailor moon manga there was when the show started.
Im so glad she is not as online as me, but damn am i trying not to look like a fool. She keeps inviting me over, so i guess it's working, but aaaaaaaa.
#shes letting me hit cus im nerodivergant#i also didnt realise how much i knew about sailor moon off the top of my head#shes so cool tho like an old school toy collecting nerd and she plays all sorts of instruments#im gay yall i know what a revelation#personal#how do u people do it#chicago really is gay tumblr the city#me#gay#gay gay homosexual gay
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ok nvmd Eswatini gets postponed - I just remembered why I dislike reading pop lit 💀
#funnily enough. the author lives in Australia 😂 maybe I just really hate Australian books of all kinds 💀#I’m gonna decide what to do with that later#I have another option for Eswatini - a poetry collection#but the poems suck really bad I’m so sorry 😂💀#idk what to read next :(#maybe I’ll pause there global Reading and instead go for Memoirs of Hadrian#since I went to his villa yesterday 🥰#orrrr I’ll read the Terry Pratchett that I promised my best friend I’d read? idk 😮💨#I kinda wanna read smth gay tho 😭#decisions decisions#recs are welcome btw ♥️#shut up Sam
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these boys find a guy who's acted in bl and are like alright then 🥰 time to flirt
#this is about jaechan and jiwoong nfndjd#every clip I see of idols on jaechans show they're just flirting with him fndnjeje#and then all of bp collectively having a crush on jiwoong ....#I get it tho people are hot when they do gay things<3#and good for them dnrjsurjd jaechan got a hella pay check And a popularity boost for his group And every idol boy around wants to flirt him#and semantic error is the best show ever in the world ❤️ that too
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i don’t go here often but the weird tension and watching porn together and……………. and bakugou………….
✮ tags ; parts r left vague in detail (so u can imagine tdick or other), masc!reader, gay sex, jerking off in the same room, frotting, reader is a crass jackass, dubcon-ish (bkg is into it he's stubborn tho) stupid hent tropes, premature ejaculation on bkgs end.
✮ a/n ; merc this literally possessed me KJDSHFKJSD.
"The fuck do you mean you don't jerk off?"
Bakugou flushes, throwing a pillow at you from the other side of the couch. You can't understand what he's saying to save your life.
"Fuck you. It's not that weird."
You give him a disbelieving look. "No, it definitely is. You don't like... watch porn?"
He makes a face at you that you can't identify. "No? I just like take care of it in the shower. If I get like morning wood or whatever."
"You only jerk off if you have morning wood?!"
A blush spreads up his neck, all the way to his ears. There's little sparks in the palms of his hands that make you snort. "It's not weird!"
"We're living different lives," You reply,without skipping a beat. "If I don't rub one out like. Twice a day at least, my dick will explode."
His face crinkles up with disgust. "Are you a fucking animal?"
"Dude, twice is nothing."
He doesn't have anything to say to that. You think on his situation for a while before a shit-eating grin spreads on your face. "You know what? I think I can fix you."
"Fuck do you mean fix me? There's nothing to fix, I'm going to kill you."
"Hold on," You ignore him, reaching around the arm of the couch for your backpack nearest the table. You grab your laptop and take it out of it's nice, blue sleeve - opening it up. Some short clicking sounds in the room before you set it on the coffee table in front of you both. "Here we are."
There's thumbnails of obscenities upon obscenities upon your screen - all with varying appropriate titles and run times. You look at him triumphantly, like a proud crow with shiny trinkets. Bakugou looks at you with complete disdain and disgust.
"What is wrong with you?"
"Don't be rude," You reply, not skipping a beat. "I'm offering you my curated, high quality porn stash without charge. This is the good stuff. You have to go to like... the sixth page of the internet for this quality. All HD."
"You're a fucking degenerate."
You grin. "I'm a connoisseur." You pause a bit, scrolling through your collection before glancing at him. "You got a type? Like in chicks."
"No," He says flatly, then looks at you. "Do you?"
You think on it before grinning. "Blondes."
He blushes at that. You scroll to the bottom of the first page and find your favorite video. It's a little vintage, but the main actress is a pretty blonde with a nice rack. It's NTR, plenty debauched. You click on it, setting the laptop back in view of you both before. Bakugou throws you a distressed look. "The fuck are you doing?"
"Changing your life, man. You're like a brother to me."
"And your show of brotherhood is watching fucking porn together? Don't be disgusting."
"It's not disgusting, come on. Don't be rude. This actress is super hot and this clip is hard to find. Show some gratitude."
"I'm going to leave." He threatens. You shrug.
"I'll have fun jerking off in your living room." You reply back. That keeps him glued to his seat.
The video starts playing after the intro. It's a pretty typical set-up for porn. A lonely, neglected housewife cheating on her husband with the plumber. It's nasty right from the jump though, not much emphasis on panty-shots and build up. They get straight to business in the first ten minutes of the film. You've seen it plenty by now, but your eyes remain in trance anyway. The actress is a natural beauty. A pretty face, short-blonde hair, and nice chest with pretty nipples.
Your breath hitches, something stirring underneath your waistband. She plays prickly in the film, all for show of course - but it makes the pay off way better. It's hot seeing her get corrupted.
You almost forget about Bakugou next to you until he whispers to you, low and offensive. "The hell are you doing?"
He must be referring to the hand unbuttoning your jeans. "What do you think?"
He makes a noise of protest, but ultimately can't stop you. You're hard. Always does the job this one, but you feel another layer of arousal feeling a gazed fixed on you. You glance at Bakugou, noticing a pillow over his lap and a blush over his face and grin. You think it's probably just your dick talking. The situation is so fucking obscene though.
You wonder what Bakguou sounds like when he moans. They look similar, him and the actress. Chest might be the same size, too. You let off a soft laugh. "Don't be shy on my account."
"Fuck you, fuck you, fuck you."
You make a face, lazy and lidded eyes meeting his. "You want to? Dunno if you've got any lube around to make it happen though, since you're such a priss."
His eyes go wide, pinched expression suddenly twisted with anger. He goes to cuss at you again but you beat him to the punch.
"Hey. Wanna jerk off together?"
You didn't think he could look more shocked if he tried. You snicker. "It'll feel better than humping the pillow like you are right now."
"I'm not fucking humping it."
"Right. D'ya wanna?"
He clearly thinks about it, which makes you laugh. The whole situation is making your head spin. You think it'd feel good to rub against him at least. You've never done anything like that with another guy though, but Bakugou is so pretty - can't be sure it counts. You get fed up with his waiting after a minute, scooting closer and circling in. He backs up against one arm of the couch as you crowd infront of him - stood on your knees on either side of his thighs. The angle is perfect to get your dicks to touch with some effort. He makes a choked sound in the back of his throat as you gingerly move the pillow.
You pull his sweats down as well as your jeans and press the tips of your cocks together - spitting into your hand to make the tips both wet. Bakugou gasps, groaning in the back of his throat. Humiliated, he pulls back and looks at you. He's pissed, feral.
Weirdly, you think he's kind of sexy right now. You leaned down to kiss him, and he tries to pull away. You grip your hand in his hair and force him to kiss you - all teeth and tongue. He pulls back with a flush.
"Fuck," You groan, rutting up against him - your whole body shuddering and pulsating from the sensation of his dick. Hot and velvet, making your body twitch. "You're kinda sexy."
"Shut up," He replies, no real bite when his voice is so blown out with lust. "We're not even watching the porn anymore, dipshit."
"Guess not," You reply, rubbing against him again. He moans aloud, pleasing you. "You're way sexier than that."
His dick twitches in response to that. "Shut up,"
"Might be bad if I get addicted to this," You reply, sweat dripping down the crown of your head as your hips follow their own rhythm. "Let's cum together. C'mon."
He frowns at you before craning his neck up to push another kiss to your mouth. You shudder as you feel him cum against your fingers from that, laughing in amusement.
You were joking about being addicted, but you can't be sure. Not anymore, at least.
#return to sender#bakugou x reader#katsuki <3#dubcon cw#I NEED THIS TO BE ME !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!#sorry merc i . literallt went insane thinking of this
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so obviously the time period a character comes from impacts them. but i adore the analysis of dbda and loneliness so now i want to analyze the characters + their time period + loneliness
edwin. so, edwin is from the 1900s. he was raised with the knowledge that he would join the military, that he would get married. this was an accepted part of life. now, i do not wish to analyze the full scale of edwin's relationship with violence (at least, not here), but i do think it's interesting that edwin goes out of his way not to inflict harm on others. this is potentially because he was raised in such a way where that was the norm, and he always knew he did not fit traditional male standards. he has always preferred knowledge and books to fighting and sport. this would have been incredibly isolating, especially as a young boy in a school for children of military members. additionally, as a queer person, edwin would have been entirely socially isolated from his peers. whether they picked up on it like simon or just thought he was un-manly, the point stands: edwin would not have fit in with his peers and seemingly had no friends when he died. which is very sad. and very lonely.
crystal. crystal's parents neglected her for their work. she lashes out. she lashes out and pushes people away (or in front of traffic). she is volatile and destructive and she is like this because she lives in an age when parents are expected to care for their children, and her parents still actively chose not to. crystal is especially traumatized because even tho she is in upper class which may have a higher rate of willful parental neglect, the expectation is still that parents love their children. moreover crystal is psychic, and that's never really been fun. she'll be completely different from all her peers in a fundamental way which she probably never talks about with any of them! so, like, of course when david, a demon, comes along, she lets him in - she's finally with someone who understands and makes her feel less lonely. someone else who's weird and angry and pretty and supernatural. and then he, too, betrays her. there is also almost certainly a race element, which may further disassociate her from her peers, seeing as the upper class is usually very white.
jenny. so jenny grew up as a lesbian in the 90s. now, i don't know much about washington state, but i do know that they legalized gay marriage in 2012. which means for over half of jenny's life, she was living with the knowledge that she would never get to live the same type of life as her peers; though the white picket fence americana dream may have been less prevalent by the 90s, it still was very ingrained in american society - especially small town society. i wonder if part of jenny's gothic fashion is to distinguish herself from other people - if she cannot have the same lives as them, then no one will make the mistake of assuming she will.
so the night nurse is lonely in a very unique way. she is lonely because she does not have a proper conception of an actual human life. she has no friends or relationships - nor does she want to; she does not know what they are like. and, i think, because she exists so outside of time and removed from society, that it makes her inherently lonely. she is lonely because somehow she was created and somehow someone convinced her that her only purpose in life is to collect lost children and she is satisfied with this but she is also alone. she has no time period to be contextualized in, and that in itself is the context.
niko is lonely because her dad is dead and her mom lives in a different continent. and i think that because she is able to utilize manga and cartoons as a form of escapism, it allows her to fill that void of devastating loneliness a bit more. she lives in a world where if she doesn't want to think she does not have to. she is not obligated to be courageous. however, she also lives in a world where she is able to choose to self-isolate, even if that isn't good for her. so when she is sad she hides away because she can and it's scary and she doesn't want to do it alone but she doesn't want to do it with her mom. i've seen people saying crystal is such a teenage girl but niko? niko wants her mom to comfort her but doesn't want to talk to her mom. niko is horribly lonely and it's only a gay victorian twink who can get her to smile again. niko is lonely because she exists in a world which allows her to be and it takes someone who is not from this time to help her move past this
charles. god, we all know how lonely charles is. biracial, abused by his father, probably bisexual, good with people yet killed via hate crime, morally upstanding. charles is the epitome of loneliness because he grows up in such a particular moment of time. he lives in the 80s. feminism and queer rights have been radically shifting in the past two decades. the 80s have huge amounts conservative pushback from these movements. so, yeah, being gay isn't a crime anymore, but gendered expectations are being reestablished in a new harmful way. so, yeah, charles is growing up in a time of progress, but he's also growing up in a household which will absolutely be anti-progress, and ergo charles is stuck in this dichotomy of he could hypothetically have everything but that would mean losing everything, too. he's lonely because his dad beats him. he's lonely because his mom doesn't say anything. he's lonely because he has a piercing but his dad locked him in his room for three days after it. he's lonely because he attends a boarding school which rich racist pricks. he's lonely because never once in his life has he admitted how the intersection of all his identities puts him in a situation where he is completely alone. and he isn't alone -he's got edwin- but their experiences with loneliness are vastly different.
as i have said a stupid number of times, dead boy detectives is a story about loneliness. and the writers made these characters so damn brilliantly because they all make so much sense in the context they were raised in.
we are all shaped by the context's we're raised in. everyone is raised at a different moment in history in different environments with different families. human experiences are so unique that everyone is inherently lonely. but lonely does not mean alone and lonely does not mean forever. it means when you were fourteen you cried yourself to sleep but now you're twenty and know how to play cricket and your friends come to all of your matches. it means you were raised in a world that was cruel and unforgiving, AND it means that because of that you don't have to be. dead boy detectives teaches us that we're all horribly lonely, and maybe that makes each other a little less lonely
i'll take some of your burden if you'll take some of mine, and whatnot
#the conclusion was a bit bumpy#but you know what i'm saying#dead boy detectives#edwin payne#charles rowland#save dead boy detectives#crystal palace#analysis#renew dead boy detectives#niko sasaki#jenny the butcher#character analysis
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i used to have lines to delineate boundaries and territories but i kept confusing myself when looking at numbers and doing that so there aren't lines vibes only
you guys wanna see this triangle i've devised that sorts people based on what kinds of ships they tend to get into
#花話#know that 'average m/m fan' extends farther out than 'average f/f fan' tho#bc it's very common for the average m/m fan to have their side collection of f/f ships that they only like passively#and [the rest of this rant was cut for propriety and brevity]#it took me like 500 years to figure out what goes in the gap btwn 'average f/f fan' and 'just likes gay people' though#bc the average f/f fan does NOT care all that much for m/m ships#and is in fact from my observation much more likely to care abt m/f ships than m/m#i've never really Seen anyone who ships predominantly f/f but more than incidentally m/m over m/f tbh
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