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something-tofightfor · 3 days

Text

Liminality: Part 12

Pairing: Frankie Morales x Female Reader

Word Count: 8,426

Rating: R - for violence, injury, blood, fear etc... but there's also feelings.

Summary: In the aftermath of your attack by the Chaos Wolf, you and Frankie have a long - and important - heart to heart.

And when you meet up with all of his friends to recount your story and begin to plan for what will happen next, you realize that what you plan for may not always be possible.

Author’s note:

Happy full moon + partial eclipse. Tonight is the best possible night to release this chapter, and I'm so glad it all lined up.

I'm so excited for you to read this chapter. I have been waiting a long time to get to this point. Thank you for being patient, and for sticking around. Hope you enjoy this chapter. Wanna talk about Wolf Frankie or his friends? My inbox is always open.

Masterlist (for the journal entries and all of the other 'extras' + previous chapters)

You both slept most of the day, and when you woke up later, there were multiple missed messages on his phone from his friends. He answered them while the two of you waited for dinner to be delivered, and it gave you a chance to check your phone, too.

There was a text from Alec, and with some hesitation, you decided to tell him the truth about what happened. You sent him a voice note outlining the previous night, and by the time you finished it, Frankie’s attention was back on you, his mouth set in a deep frown as he listened. At least I only have to explain once.

“Can I see the video?” His voice was even, but you heard the unease in it, Frankie’s posture rigid. “See what it looks like?”

“Yes.” Scooting closer to him on the couch, you opened your camera and then the video, hanging your phone over. “But you need to watch the beginning, too. Before the wolf. It’s important.”

He pressed play, eyes on the screen and at the sound of your own voice, you looked away, staring out the window. You had no desire to watch your attack, and even though it was the truth, you were somewhat embarrassed at the way you’d bared your feelings to him before the wolf had found you. So I’ll just let him watch and listen.

You stared out the window until you heard yourself scream for Will, and then you looked back at Frankie, watching his reaction to what he was seeing onscreen. It was subtle, but you saw the way his body stiffened, watched the color of his eyes briefly change again, flashing gold for a few seconds as his nostrils flared, your screaming and the wolf’s growling louder than you thought it would be through your phone’s speakers.

The sound of a gunshot rang out, and for the second time, you heard the wolf react to getting shot, followed by the sound of Will’s voice and yours, the video ending abruptly and plunging the room into silence. Frankie didn’t speak right away, but when he did, it was to whisper your name and then pull you into his lap, his arms going around you before pulling you tight against his chest.

“You’re so fucking brave, do you know that?” He spoke into your ear, the tip of his nose grazing the shell of it. “Most people would have dropped the phone. Most people would have been too afraid to fight back. Most people would have run screaming when they saw what I go through every month.” Frankie pressed his lips to your cheek. “You didn’t. You weren’t. You stayed. You got the other wolf on video. I don’t even know how to…” His arms tightened around you. “Tell me what you were going to say.”

“What?” It took you by surprise, and you backed away, meeting his gaze. “What do -”

“You got cut off when the wolf showed up.” He swallowed hard, unblinking. “That’s the second time you’ve been in the middle of saying something to me and you got interrupted.” You’re not really doing this now, are you? “D’you want to finish that sentence?”

“I do, but...” Pressing a hand to his chest, you could feel his heartbeat thrumming beneath your palm, though the rest of him gave almost nothing away. He’s anxious. He’s … why? What does he expect? You stared at him, thinking, and wondered what he saw in your expression. I already told Pope. “I’m scared, Francisco.” You spoke quietly, but didn’t look away. “It -”

“I’ve read up on a lot of shit over the past couple years.” He cleared his throat, the hand on your back moving in a slow circle. “Just to try and see how similar my behavior is to a regular wolf’s. I’ve seen videos of myself while I’m not human, and I remember what happens, so…” He shrugged. “And it’s pretty typical for both.” You nodded, unsure of where he was going. “But the more time that passed, I started noticing that I was doing … different things, even when I’m human.” He frowned, but quickly erased the expression from his face though the furrow in his brow didn’t lessen any. “My sense of smell’s better. My vision’s improved, even though it was damn good before. My reflexes are back to what they were when I first joined the Army, or better, maybe.”

“That’s good for a pilot.” He nodded, still stroking your back.

“I figured that since it’s always in me, the longer it was there and the more used to it I got, the more … we’d mesh.” His other hand moved down to your hip and squeezed. “I’ve always been protective of my family, but when I came back, the first time I saw Carmen? I’d never felt anything like that before. It was like … I can’t explain it. And I thought that the same would be true for Becca, because even though we had problems, I still … we’d been together forever, y’know? Mother of my kid and everything, but it wasn’t like that. Ever. I didn’t have the same … drive when it came to her as I did for Carmen and even the guys. Losing any of them would have been fucking awful, but my relationship with Becca? It sucked when it ended but I wasn’t…”

“Frankie, you don’t -”

“No, I do. Let me explain.” He swallowed hard, and then took a deep breath. “I want to protect you. I’ve told you that before, but it …” He closed his eyes, swearing under his breath. “The first night I met you. Do you remember what happened?’

“Yeah. You fucked me in front of your fireplace and we both pretended it was going to just be a casual hookup.” He smiled, his eyes flashing with amusement.

“I bit you.” His gaze dropped, lingering on your neck for a few seconds before it rose again. “I bit your neck.” He smiled. “Actually, I paid a lot of attention to your neck, and -” Just like he did last night when he turned. Was that the wolf’s interest in me from the very beginning? Fuck. “And I didn’t want to go into the bedroom with you, I -”

“You wanted me on the floor.” Your eyes widened. “And it didn’t feel right until you were behind me, and…” It was all coming together for you, and you were stunned. It shouldn’t have taken this long. I should have realized. “It was a wolf’s instincts from the beginning. And you’re… it’s just… fuck, Frankie.”

“Some part of me knew from the beginning how I’d… how important you were going to be to me. It doesn’t make sense. None of this does.” He leaned in, resting his forehead against yours. “But if it’s the wolf and it’s making everything I already do and feel stronger, then…” He took another breath and let it out, the sound shaky. “I treated you like a mate from the very first night, and you reacted the way that I hoped you would, even if I didn’t realize I was doing it at first.”

“You scented me last night.” Your jaw dropped. “I thought you were trying to hug me, but when you put your paws on me, it was because …” You wanted me to smell like you. Oh, Frankie.

“I asked you to stay.” His heartbeat had slowed and Frankie’s voice was steady, but you could feel his tension. “Everything else might be the wolf, but that was all -”

“No.” You leaned in, shaking your head. “It’s you, Frankie. The wolf, the man, all of it’s the same thing.” Are you really going to do this? “I don’t have friends. I don’t have people I can count on, except for Alec, and even that’s spotty.” Biting the inside of your lip, you narrowed your eyes. “But ever since I first got here, it felt different.” You’re going to do this. “I’ve never been as scared as I was last night. And yeah, I thought I was going to die for a second, but it was more than that.”

“You didn’t, though. You did what you needed to do.” He squeezed your hip. “You were perfect.”

“It’s too soon to say any of this, and I understand that.” You steadied yourself, closing your eyes and taking a breath . “But if I didn’t say it and I never got to, I’d regret it.” He hummed but didn’t interrupt, and so you continued, opening your eyes and meeting his. “I was scared I was going to die last night before I got to tell you I love you. I thought it days ago, but after last night, after seeing you in that clearing, I … I know it.”

It felt good to say the words. Admitting to the truth was freeing, but Frankie’s silence unnerved you. He wasn’t expecting that. Why would he? It’s been two months. “Repeat that.” He wet his lips and then drew the lower one back and between his teeth. “Please.”

“I love you, Francisco Morales. And believe it or not, I want to protect you just as much as -”

“The first time we met, when I sat next to you at the bar? I knew it was different.” He shook his head, looking down and then back up. “There was something about you, about the way you smelled, and because it was only a couple days after a full moon, it … there was no way I could miss it.”

“I missed it, though. I just thought you were shit at hiding being attracted to someone.” He laughed quietly, rolling his eyes. “We both tried pretty hard that night to play it cool, didn’t we.” Frankie nodded, the look in his eyes soft. “All I wanted to do that next morning was kiss you.” You looked down, nerves catching up to you as you registered the fact that he still hadn’t replied to the fact that you’d told him you loved him. “I just thought you should know. I -”

He reached up and used one knuckle beneath your chin to urge you gaze back to his face. “You shouldn’t have stopped yourself the other night in bed.” Oh. really? “I didn’t think it was fair to put any of this shit on you before you saw everything, though, so I didn’t ask you about it.” He steadied himself with one deep breath, nodding as he said your name. “You still feel that way after yesterday? After … you got attacked?”

“Yes.” Your answer was immediate, eyes going wide as you spoke. “That had nothing to do with you, Frankie. Why would it change how I feel about you?”

“Because you know what one of us can do to someone. You’ve seen the way it changes me, and it’s not going to stop. This is my life for as long as I’m living, and if you love me, that means you accept that, and the chance that I might turn on you at some point.”

“You won’t. If you were going to, you would have yesterday. I trust you.” He still hasn’t said anything back. All he’s done is try to talk me out of feeling this way. “Is that so hard to believe?”

“Yeah.” He nodded, the look in his eyes sad. “It is, especially coming from you. You shouldn’t love me. You shouldn’t love someone like me, especially after you’ve been looking for wolves to -”

You stood abruptly, wincing as you put weight onto your leg - and distance between the two of you. “No, not just any wolves, Frankie. The Chaos wolves. You’re not one of them. You proved that.” You moved further away, your back to him to hide the fact that you were in pain. “And if you’ve been treating me like your mate since the beginning, you obviously would have noticed if I’d had any reservations about that, or about you or about being with you.”

It hurt - not that he hadn’t immediately told you that he loved you, too, but that you’d bared your feelings to him, and all Frankie had done was question your admission. Especially after how he’s noticed he’s been treating me. Especially with what I thought he felt toward me. You stood in front of the fireplace, crossing your arms over your chest and blinking back tears.

The room was silent, thick with tension and almost uncomfortable, but moments later it was shattered by the ringing of the doorbell. Food’s here. Rubbing at the bridge of your nose, you lowered your head and closed your eyes. I’m not hungry. I should go. “Let me know what I owe you for dinner, Frankie. I think I’m going to go back to my -”

“Please don’t.” You heard the couch springs creak and then a few footsteps as he made his way to where you were, stopping before he got close enough to touch you. “Please don’t leave.” You turned slowly to face him, unsure of what to expect.

It certainly wasn’t a look of unease on his face, or his lower lip trembling. And it also wasn’t his slumped shoulders or the nervous shuffling of his feet, Frankie shaking his head as he stared at you. “Why? I just bared my goddamn emotions to you, Frankie, and all I get in return is you telling me that I shouldn’t feel a certain way, or that I couldn’t possibly understand what I’m getting myself into with you. That’s what love is, right? Taking a chance and going into things unprepared and trusting yourself to navigate through it all with the person you’re with?”

“Yeah.” He nodded slowly. “But it’s not usually with someone like me.”

“Alec and Ashley seem to be perfectly happy together.” You swiped a hand over your face, the sadness turning into anger. “He was raised in the same damn way I was and he’s having a baby with a wolf. Fuck, Frankie, you’re not the only person in this world that -”

“We stole hundreds of millions of dollars from a drug lord.” He stepped even closer, straightening up. “So I’m also thinking of that when I consider how the fuck I feel about you, and how close it’s safe to let you get.” His lip curled, and Frankie’s head moved back and forth a few times. “It’s not just that I’m a wolf. I might also have a target on my back for a lot of other reasons, and bringing you into my life fully puts that on you, too.”

You hadn’t considered that, and you knew that your expression gave it away. Fuck. He’s right. “Frankie, I -”

“I’m fucking in love with you, and every time I’ve thought about telling you that these past couple weeks, I’ve convinced myself not to for multiple reasons. And hearing you say it first, I … fuck.” You gasped, a shaky breath escaping you, and when Frankie took another step forward, you nodded, tears filling your eyes. “I wasn’t looking for this. I’m not ready. I don’t know if I’ll ever be ready, but you’re right. It doesn’t matter. You need to know. You deserve to know.”

“You’re in love with me?” He nodded, one large hand rising so that he could slide his fingers along your jaw, his thumb catching briefly on your lower lip. “Really?” He nodded again, unblinking. “Well that’s good to hear.”

Silence hung between you for a few tense seconds and then he laughed, his other arm going around you. He took the final step and closed the distance completely, crushing you to his chest without forcing you to take a step on your injured leg. Your tears started falling when he lowered his head to speak into your ear, murmuring that he didn’t know what to fucking do with you, but you were too overwhelmed to speak. He’s in love with me. He’s in love with me but was scared to tell me because of everything he’s been through and done and … fuck. I shouldn’t have pushed. I shouldn’t have forced him to… “Hey.”

“Yeah?” You backed off, meeting his gaze again. “Hmm?”

“That’s not how I wanted to tell you any of this.” Frankie used one knuckle to brush tears from your cheeks. “I’m not happy I’m a wolf now, but I’ve made peace with it, y’know? I just sort of figured that I’d never really have anyone permanent in my life again, and then you …” He swore quietly, closing his eyes and shaking his head. “You showed up and just …”

You understood immediately, Frankie’s desire to protect you winning out over his emotional detachment. And he doesn’t know what to be more worried about, the drug money or the wolf, which is …God, I can’t even imagine what he must be thinking. “We can start over.” Your voice low, you tightened your hold on him, fingers gripping the material of his shirt. “This conversation anyway. Start at the beginning, and -”

“I’m in love with you. I want you to stay here, in Florida with me. I want to find this wolf and get rid of it and then figure out what comes next, but …” Frankie took a deep breath, nodding. “I want to be with you. There’s so much shit I still need to tell you, that I want to tell you.” He paused, wetting his lips with a flash of his tongue. “If you’ll let me.”

“I will.” Your heart was pounding in your chest, eyes locked with his. “If you’re honest with me, I’m more than happy to listen to whatever you’ve got to say.” Here goes nothing. “That’s what happens when you love someone, right?” He nodded slowly, never looking away from you. “Then yeah, Francisco. We’ll do that.”

“Good.” He bit down on the inside of his lip, narrowing his eyes. “Do you actually want to go, or were you just trying to bow out because you thought I wasn’t going to say anything back to you?”

“I don’t want to go anywhere.” You looked up, eyes on the ceiling for a few seconds as you thought. “I don’t want to overstay my welcome, but the idea of being alone right now isn’t appealing, either.”

He didn’t say anything right away, instead leaning in and kissing your forehead, his lips lingering. “Why don’t we eat dinner, and then we can decide what to do next, alright?” Frankie spoke quietly, sighing as he straightened up. “We’ve got a month to figure this shit out.”

—

“Frankie, we’re going to have to get out of this bed at some point.” You sighed, reaching down to drag your fingers through his damp curls. “We have plans tonight.” He was wrapped around you, cheek resting against your chest. “And to be honest, I need a couple hours of rest, because -”

“You weren’t complaining earlier.” Tightening his hold on you, he tipped his head back so that he could catch your eye. “Or this morning, or -” He wasn’t wrong. Since you’d admitted the truth to each other the night after the full moon, the two of you had barely been able to keep your hands off of each other when you were in the same room.

You’d lost count of the number of times you’d been together, the hours slipping away as you spent them tangled up in his bed and shower. It was like a barrier had been broken down completely, freeing you to not only act on your true feelings, but to stop hiding them, too. He whispered that he loved you over and over between kisses, and hearing his voice repeat it at full volume before he left for work and when he got home in reply to your greeting made you feel at peace in a way that you’d never anticipated.

But the truth was that you were tired, despite getting good sleep, and you knew that he was, too. “I’m still not complaining.” You sighed, pulling on a curl. “But we need to go and meet your friends, and I’d like to be alert for that conversation.” He laughed, finally letting go of you and sitting up to stretch. “Is this how it’s going to be every month after the moon? Because if it is, I might need to take some extra vitamins, or buy stock in electrolytes or -”

“Might be.” He wrinkled his nose, reaching up to ruffle his own hair. “Donno yet.” He was joking, and the two of you laughed together, Frankie leaning down to kiss you softly on the mouth. “It’s just nice not to have to hide anything, and I know that when we go over there, it won’t be like that.”

You sat up, too, leaning against his headboard and pulling the blankets up to cover your chest. “I get it.” You shrugged, nodding. “But I do think it’s for the best.”

The two of you were meeting his friends for the first time since your attack to fill them in on all the details. You were going to be honest with them about everything - except for why you were in Florida. While in truth, it would only be Benny and Tom that didn’t know the whole story, widening the circle of trust even that much further seemed risky. It wasn’t because Frankie didn’t trust the two of them; instead, it was because he didn’t want to make you explain your entire family’s history, or bring Ashley and Alec into it without their permission.

Will’s knowledge of the situation had been the result of circumstance, and though you were glad that he knew, part of you wished that you hadn’t slipped up in front of him. Because it feels like too many people know, and nothing’s changed as a result. “I’m gonna jump in the shower.” He stood up, giving you a lengthy opportunity to stare at his bare ass, and then headed for the bathroom. “You wanna come with me and conserve some water?”

“Is that what we’re calling it now?” You grinned and got out of the bed, too. “Saving the environment?”

“It can be.” He waited at the door for you, reaching back so that you co uld take his hand. “Just for tonight.” Both of you were laughing as you entered the bathroom, Frankie flipping the lightswitch up before you shut the door behind you.

—

“Where’s Molly?” You looked out the window at Tom’s place, eyeing the well-kept lawn and pristine house. “You guys don’t come over here to meet up often, right?”

“She’s gone for a couple days with her friends, I think?” He pulled up to the curb, parking his truck. “And Tessa’s in college now, so she only comes home on weekends to do her laundry.” He laughed. “They moved her into her dorm a little while ago.” You hadn’t realized that - but you were thankful that there was a place that all of you could talk without interruptions. Not that Yovanna is an interruption, but … “And he’s always looking for an excuse to use his grill, so it worked out.”

You made your way to the gate that led to the back yard, Frankie walking slower than usual to accommodate your injury. It felt much better, and he’d re-bandaged it for you twice, checking on the state of it and reporting back to Will, but it still hurt, and there was no reason to push it.

The others were already there when you rounded the garage and made it to the back lawn, and you and Frankie were greeted with a chorus of hellos, Benny lifting his beer bottle in salute. But the smile on his face froze when he got a good look at you, his gaze going immediately to your bandaged leg. Here we go.

“What the fuck happened to you?” He frowned, looking at Frankie. “‘Fish? Wh-”

“That’s her story to tell.” He pulled your chair out for you, waiting until you were seated to drop into the one next to it. “Figured it’d be better to do it in person.” You gave Benny a smile and then looked in Pope’s direction, nodding before letting your eyes move to Will and finally to Tom, who was standing next to the grill with one hand on his hip. He looked curious, holding your gaze for longer than he usually did before shaking his head and clearing his throat.

“Well we’re all here and in person.” He stepped toward you. “And we’re listening.” You felt Frankie’s hand on your knee, the pressure welcome as he squeezed it. “What happened to you?” There was no way to sugarcoat it, and no real reason to, and so you didn’t, opening your mouth and letting the words tumble out.

“I got attacked by the other wolf in the clearing outside the RV.” It sounded impossible, even by your standards, and that feeling only grew when you continued. “It didn’t bite me, though. It just clawed at me, and then Will shot it, and -”

“WHAT?” Benny was on his feet, fingers balled into fists by his sides. “You what? My brother did what? And we’re just now hearing about -”

“Benjamin.” Frankie’s voice was quiet, but you heard the power behind it. “Calm down.” The younger Miller stilled, though his expression didn’t soften. “Nobody said anything because we wanted to tell the story once. And we took a few days to recover, but none of the three of us thought that a phone call or a text message was the right way to talk about this.”

Benny finally nodded before dropping back into his chair, his gaze focused on your injury. It was Pope that spoke up next, reaching across the table to touch your hand before saying anything. “Are you alright?”

“I am. It was a little scary for a couple minutes, but as soon as Will scared it off, it was … better.” He nodded, leaning back. “No, you know what?” You closed your eyes, steeling yourself before you pressed your lips together and nodded. “It was really fucking scary for a few minutes. I thought … I didn’t think I was going to make it.”

“But you did.” Tom crossed his arms low across his chest, tilting his head to the right. “It didn’t try to bite you? Really?”

“Really.” Flattening your hands on the tabletop, you looked between the four other guys again, taking a deep breath. Here goes nothing. “If you come and sit I’ll tell you all exactly what happened.” For a second, you didn’t think he’d join you - but then Tom crossed the patio and pulled out his own chair, dropping into it without looking away.

It took a little while because they all interrupted you, but with Will and Frankie’s help, you recounted the events from the night you’d been attacked. And when you pulled your phone out, opening the cropped video and pressing play, they were all locked in, eyes on the tiny screen throughout the duration of it. It played once for all of them, and then each man took your phone in turn, the device held up close to their faces as they analyzed the other wolf’s attack. Benny’s response was anger, his lip curling while his head whipped back and forth. Pope just seemed sad, his large brown eyes filled with emotion as he winced at the sound of your screams. Will’s expression was full of intrigue, his brows knit as he used both fingers to zoom in on your screen toward the end, mumbling the words I should have aimed higher before he handed it to Tom.

And Tom’s response shocked you most of all, his posture rigid as he stared at the screen, teeth digging into his lower lip. When he set your phone down and slid it toward you, he finally spoke, leaning in to lock eyes with you. “Don’t take this the wrong way, because it’s a good thing, but why the fuck didn’t it bite you?”

Frankie growled from next to you, but you murmured his name, head moving slowly back and forth. “I don’t know. I’ve tried to figure that out for the last couple days, and all I’ve come up with is that maybe it didn’t want to? I don’t think it wanted to turn me the way the kid that bit Frankie did, I think it just … wanted to hurt me.” Lowering your eyes to where your fingers were linked on the scarred wood, you took a deep breath. “And it did. But not like it… he has hurt the other people he’s attacked.” The guys all nodded in agreement, but none of them spoke before you went on. “At least now you all know what it looks like. You know for a fact that it’s not Frankie attacking anyone. I don’t know what good that will do, but -”

“How did it know you’d be there?” Tom’s voice was soft, the the fingers of one hand rhythmically tapping the table. “That RV isn’t even in a real camping spot, we had to bribe them to approve the space for it.” He rubbed at his forehead. “It doesn’t make any fucking sense.”

“It does.” Frankie spoke up, leaning forward so that he could look at Tom. “Based on the pattern.” He explained your theory about the other wolf working his way through local parks that had campsites, explaining that Richloam was one of the final ones in the area that hadn’t been an attack site in the past. “And I can smell people from miles away those nights, so he probably smelled all of us, maybe even me as a wolf, and came running.”

Tom looked thoughtful, his attention moving between you and Frankie for long moments before he swiped a hand over his face. “Fuck.”

“So what do we do now?” Pope leaned back in his chair, exhaling. “Frankie, you said there was a pattern to the places the other wolf’s been attacking? Do you think we can use that to figure out where he’ll be next month?”

“Maybe.” Frankie leaned in, nodding. “There were only two or three that were left that are similar to the ones he’s already been to, but Richloam was the most likely. I just didn’t think … I didn’t think our campsite would be where he went first.” Frankie looked over at you, wetting his lips and then lowering his gaze to the tabletop. “He’s either going to branch out and find places further away, or start the pattern again.” He looked up, meeting the eyes of each of his friends in turn. “It’s what I’d do.”

“Makes sense.” Will agreed, scratching the side of his head. “To someone that’s not looking for a wolf, the attacks seem like random animals, and I’m sure at least a couple of the parks and swamps have had others since the first one we noticed that are just shit like big cats and things fucking with campsites.” You hadn’t looked into that, and made a mental note to do so when you got back to Frankie’s. I should have already thought of it.

“But what the fuck do we do about it? One of us goes out to each of the most likely places, while ‘Fish picks one of us to come with?” Benny pointed at you, shaking his head. “Do we let you go out by yourself, or always pair you with Frankie because if this fuckin’ thing got your scent, he might be looking? Do we all stay at the camper every full moon so there’s five of us with guns and -”

“I can’t exactly leave my wife once a month on every full fuckin’ moon, Benny.” Tom gestured toward the house, his tone harsh. “She’s not dumb. She’d ask questions, and unlike Morales, I don’t exactly want to tell her wh-”

“Guys.” Will stood, holding his hands out. “Look, we don’t need to decide anything tonight. We know what happened. We know that we need to come up with something before the next full moon. When is that, by the way?”

“October 28th.” You were the first to answer, certainty in your tone. “The Hunter’s Moon.” You reached for your phone and pulled it back toward you, fingers curling around the device. “And I have every intention of being a part of this plan - whatever it is, because the sooner we deal with this, the sooner Frankie and I can …”

You trailed off, realizing that you’d just admitted to the fact that you and Frankie were considering a future together. Shit. Did he want that? Did - “The sooner we figure all of this out, the sooner we can figure out how her staying here works.” He reached over and put his hand on top of yours, slowly looking between each of the others. “Because that’s what’s happening. We’re -”

“Hell yeah, brother!” Benny jumped up and circled the table, first clapping Frankie on the shoulder before he put him in a loose headlock, the two of them laughing. When he let go, he moved to you, winding his arms around you from behind and ducking down to press a kiss to the top of your head. “And good for you too. There are plenty of worse guys out there than ‘Fish.”

It made you laugh - Benny lightening the mood significantly, and when you tipped your head back so that you could plant a kiss on his cheek, he grinned and winked before he backed away. “He’s alright.” That made the others laugh, too, and when Pope stood to go and get another drink, the conversation around the table resumed.

You settled in, Frankie by your side with an arm around your shoulders as all of you caught up with each other. For the next hour, everything was normal, and when Tom stood to preheat the grill, you also pushed away from the table, excusing yourself to use the bathroom.

“I’ll come with you.” Tom pointed at the grill. “This is ready, so I need to get dinner out of the fridge anyway.”

There was a small bathroom off of the kitchen, which was bright and cheerful with lots of natural light and greenery. Molly, I’m sure. He was still inside when you finished, and when Tom turned in your direction, holding out a tray of skewered vegetables, you took them happily. “I’ll be honest. I never pictured you as a grill guy, Tom.”

“Oh yeah?” He grinned at you and you nodded, eyes on him as he picked up a tray of hamburgers and hotdogs. “What did you think I was?” He gestured to the bags of buns before he grabbed a basket full of cutlery and condiments, and then the two of you headed back for the door. He pushed the screen to the side, waiting for you to walk through.

“I don’t know. I just figured with as much time you spent enlisted, you never had time to learn to cook.” You jerked your chin forward. “Or grill.” He spoke as he followed you, his tone amused.

“Molly’s the cook. And I’m decent with grilling, but I like it.” You set what you carried down and then turned to reach for the condiments, Tom reaching forward to hand them to you. You caught the wince he tried to hide - slight but still noticeable, his jaw tightening briefly before it relaxed and he spoke again. What did they say happened? Tess and volleyball? “And these assholes will eat just about anything, so as long as I don’t turn their burgers into fucking hockey pucks, it’s fine.”

Benny snorted but agreed, and even Will nodded briefly, though there was an expression on his face you couldn’t read. You sat down next to Frankie again, and without hesitation he reached over and took your hand, squeezing after linking your fingers together. Ask later. “I’m also not a fan of eating hockey pucks, so…” Tom held up both hands after setting the meat down, muttering the word understood, and then pulled the top of the grill open.

The conversation continued around you, and as the smell of cooking meat and vegetables filled the air, you fully relaxed. The weather was nice, the company was even nicer, and the fact that everyone was 90% on the same page was a relief.

“Hey.” Frankie’s voice was quiet in your ear as he leaned in closer, his lips curved upward in a tiny smile. “Ironhead and I are going in to get another round of drinks. You need one?” You did - and told him as much, eyeing the two men as they stood from the table and left you, Pope, Benny and Tom in the back yard.

When Benny stood to walk over to Tom, you turned your attention to Pope, beginning a conversation about him and Yovanna, and what they’d been up to. He answered enthusiastically, his face lightning up as he spoke, and you were so engrossed in what he was saying that you almost missed Frankie and Will coming back, setting down bottles and cans in front of where everyone was sitting.

Dinner was ready only a few minutes later, and while you ate, there was none of the lingering tension from the beginning of the conversation, or even any of the uncertainty that you’d seen on Will’s face. You chalked it up as just a product of the situation you’d all found yourselves in, and once again let your guard down.

It was stupid not to; you were surrounded by a retired Delta Force team and the full moon was weeks away. Nothing was going to happen to you in Tom’s back yard, and even the dull itch of your healing leg wasn’t enough to deter you from that line of thinking.

As the night went on and dinner was cleared from the table, the six of you moved from the patio and into the yard, sitting in a circle around a small fire pit. You knew that you and Frankie would have to leave earlier than everyone else - he had flights the following morning, and needed to sleep - but the truth was that you didn’t want to leave.

You’d been to gatherings before, though none of them had been with actual friends. You’d attended bonfires and parties, scoring invites from people you’d met in previous cities in an attempt to strike up conversations with people as they drank or smoked more and let their guard down. But you’d never been to a night like the one that night, and even though you enjoyed yourself, it was also a reminder that no matter how close you got with Frankie and the others, they had true history together, something that you’d never had the opportunity to experience.

“You alright?” Frankie leaned over, ducking his head to kiss your shoulder. “You’re quiet.”

“I’m just glad to be here.” You gestured with your bottle, indicating his friends. “It’s a nice change of pace from my usual routine.” You could see that he understood, and while the two of you stared at each other, the firelight flickering in his eyes, you also understood how much the time with his friends in a casual setting meant. “We should probably go soon, though, right?” Chewing on your lip, you took a deep breath. “You’ve got a 10 am, right?”

“Right.” He leaned back in his chair, stretching. “And that alarm goes off early.” Frankie groaned, reaching up to pull his hat off before using the back of his hand to rub at his eye. “We’re gonna get going.” The other conversation stopped, everyone’s attention going back to you. “We should probably figure out what we’re doing about next month pretty soon, just so we’re all on the same page.”

“Think it’s my turn to head out with you, ‘Fish.” Benny cleared his throat. “But I’m not opposed to turning it into an all play, just to cover our asses.”

“Might be a good idea.” Pope sighed, rubbing at the space between his eyes. “I think it’s gonna come back and try to see if we’re back at the RV. It had to have smelled wolf-you, Frankie. It might even go back there as a human to scope it out, so -”

“I can head out there in the next couple days.” Tom leaned forward, the hand holding his beer dangling between his knees. “See if everything looks right. Check on the blind, replenish the first aid kit, all that.” Frankie nodded from next to you, and you opened your mouth to speak, but Will beat you to it.

“Will you be able to get away with us next month, Redfly?” He sipped from his beer, gesturing to the rest of you with it. “Strength in numbers and all that shit?”

“No.” Tom shook his head, staring at the blonde. “There’s a realtor’s conference in Orlando that goes all weekend. Didn’t get to go to the one in August, so I thought this one was a good backup.” He cleared his throat. “I can do whatever you need me to until that Wednesday night, but I won’t be home for the full moon.”

“Alright.” Will agreed, shrugging. “We’ll do it without you, then.” You could hear the annoyance in his tone, but everyone else ignored it - and so you did, too… at least outwardly. It’s bullshit that Tom hasn’t helped the same ways that the others do. You stood, reaching behind you to move the chair out of the way so that you could head for the fence gate. It seems like he’s just making excuses, and that’s… it’s fucking bullshit.

It wasn’t your place to say anything, and even though part of you hoped that one of the others would, you didn’t know how likely it was. “Thanks for dinner, Redfly. See you around.” Frankie moved to stand next to you, extending the goodbyes to the rest of his friends. “Let me know what you find at the RV, alright?”

“Sure.” Tom stood, too, sticking one hand in his pocket and jerking his chin at you. “Take care of that leg, alright?” You assured him that you would, and then you started walking again, Frankie’s hand reaching over to take your bottle from you. He dropped them into the trash can next to the back door before you made it to the side of the house, and then he linked his fingers with yours, squeezing.

“Do you want to go to the car? I need to use the bathroom.” You stopped, turning your head toward where he stood. “Or you can come inside with me, and we’ll go out the front.”

“That.” You nodded. “Sitting in the car alone feels weird.” He grinned and then changed course, heading for the sliding door. You followed him, moving to lean against the dividing wall between the kitchen and the front hall. The lights were dimmed, but you used the time to look around the room, taking in the details.

It was cozy and looked lived in in a way that Frankie’s house didn’t. Molly’s influence was all over the decor, and there were fresh flowers in vases scattered around the room, too. I bet Tom doesn’t give a shit about artwork or tile style or -

Your thoughts were interrupted by the sound of breaking glass, and instinctively, you perked up, craning your neck toward the door leading outside. There was some commotion and then the sound of voices as they got closer to the screen door, and only a few seconds later, you watched as Tom entered, his face set into an angry scowl and one hand curled into a tight fist. “You alright? I -”

“Ironhead dropped a bottle.” He went toward the sink, using his other hand to turn the tap on. “Sliced my fucking finger open helping him pick up glass.” You winced in sympathy for him, watching as he unclenched his fist and stuck his flattened palm under the water, shoulders rising and falling as he rinsed the wound.

A few seconds later, the bathroom door opened and your attention moved to Frankie, watching as he stepped back into the kitchen, wiping his hands on his jeans. He inhaled sharply and then paused, but he veered past Tom to get back to you, sliding an arm around your waist to pull you closer. Why is he so rigid? What is going on? “You cut yourself, Redfly?”

“Beer bottle. It’s fine.” He groaned and turned the water off, reaching for a paper towel. “Ironhead already offered to stitch me up if I need it.” You laughed quietly, but Frankie didn’t, instead pulling gently on you and leading you toward the door. “Have a good night, you two. Get home safe.”

The further you got from the kitchen, the tighter Frankie’s hold on you became. And when you were finally inside the truck, he raised both hands to the wheel, gripping it tightly enough that you heard it creak. Ok, what the fuck. “Frankie? What’s -”

“I should have fucking seen it.” He nearly growled the words, squeezing the wheel one more time before letting go and starting the truck’s ignition. “I should have fucking known. It’s been right there, in front of my goddamn face.” What? What is … His hands were shaking as he put it into drive, and even in the low light from the streetlamps, you could see that he was breathing hard. Something happened, but what?

“Frankie, you’re scaring me.” It was the truth. You hadn’t actually felt fear around him in the entire time you’d known him up to that point. “You were fine before you went into the bathroom, and then Tom -”

“FUCK!” He reached up, pulling his hat off and flinging it at the windshield, the truck jerking to a stop at the end of the block. “I can’t fucking believe that he … goddamn him. He’s lucky I didn’t fucking …” The truck started moving again as Frankie’s head whipped back and forth, the shadows sliding over his features as you headed away from the Davis residence. What the fuck is going on with him right now?

“Frankie?” Your heart was pounding, and even though you were afraid, you knew that he wouldn’t hurt you. Not with the way that he got me out of that house. Not with the way he got me away from … “Tom.”

The pieces fell into place in an instant, even though you didn’t know the details. Tom’s the other wolf. Somehow, he figured it out tonight, but what would have … “Take your phone out.” He was still angry, but there was a calm to the way he spoke, and you realized that Frankie had slipped into whatever mindset he’d used to get through each mission he’d been on. He’s in survival mode. And that means he really believes this is true. “Ironhead’s going to call you as soon as he gets into his car because he knows I’m driving.”

You wanted to reach for him, but instead you did as he told you, digging your phone out and holding it - screen up - in one hand between you. “Where are we going?”

“Back to my place.” He was still holding the wheel with both hands, eyes on the road. “Because if we don’t go there, and he checks, he’ll know.” Before you could reply, your screen lit up, Will’s name and picture on it. “Speaker, please.”

You answered, saying hello, but you didn’t get a chance to say anything else because Will’s voice filled the cab of the truck, his tone just as calm as Frankie’s. “Well?”

“It’s fucking him. I don’t know how, but it is.” He let out a shaky breath. “Good call on the glass, by the way. I can’t believe it worked.” He smelled the blood. He smelled it the other day, and then again today.

“Are you sure?” He wasn’t outright questioning Frankie; he was confirming. “Because -”

“I smelled his blood all over that goddamn clearing, and even though my nose isn’t as good right now, I’d know it anywhere.” You covered your mouth with your other hand, turning your head to look out your window. “Tom is the other wolf, Will. He’s been hurting people for months, and he just tried to kill my girl a few days ago. I’m fucking sure.”

There was a long silence as you and Frankie drove through the darkness, and your fingers tightened around your phone as you waited to see who would break it. You didn’t have long to wait. Before you and Frankie made it through another light, Will’s voice came though the speaker again - just as calm, but with a note of resolve in it.

“I guess we’ve got to decide how you want to handle it then, don’t we ‘Fish?”

The cab of the truck was silent for a few seconds longer, and then you watched as Frankie eased his grip on the wheel with his right hand. Tom? It’s Tom? He tried to … “Can you come to my place, Ironhead?” But you said he might check. How… how will this work? “This isn’t a conversation I want to have over the phone.”

Frankie reached over, settling a hand on your thigh and moving his thumb against it in a slow, possessive arc. His touch was gentle, though, despite the rigidity of every other part of his body. “Yeah. Let me go home and get the bike. I’ll be there in thirty.”

You hung up then, setting your phone down into one of the cupholders - but you stayed quiet. What is there to say? With both hands free, you moved to clasp them together in your lap, but Frankie didn’t let you, intercepting the movement and capturing one hand with his and bringing it to his lips to press a kiss to your knuckles.

“I meant it, by the way.” His voice was low but even, and when you turned your head toward him, Frankie’s gaze slid to the right and caught yours. It didn’t surprise you that his irises were golden, and you realized in those few moments just how hard he was fighting to hold himself together.

You didn’t pull away - and you didn’t flinch, either. “Meant what, Francisco?” He kissed your hand again and then lowered your hands to rest against his thigh, his grip tightening.

“I’m going to rip his fucking throat out.”

—

#frankie morales #frankie morales x reader #frankie morales x female reader #pedro pascal #pedro pascal character #liminality #liminality masterlist #pedro pascal masterlist #frankie morales masterlist #spooky season #frankie catfish morales #triple frontier #triple frontier au #triple frontier fic #francisco morales #writing #werewolf frankie

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mildlyfunctional · 2 days

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It took over two years, but I finally finished watching the entirety of Supernatural. I took a week to process some thoughts before foisting them upon Tumblrland, so here we go!

I did not expect to like it. Specifically the ending.

The original reason this Supernatural rewatch began was to see Castiel's confession in context. I wanted to see what drove Tumblr's primary form of newscasting, what got the Supernatural fandom back from the depths of superhell, and thrust the bury your gays queerbaiting discussion to the forefront of every YouTube video essay—and to potentially seek justice for my first ever gay ship, good ol' Destiel. It is for this reason that I wholeheartly did not expect leave 15 seasons of this fucking show feeling content.

This was a hard task. I wanted to stop so badly. I don't think I could tell you a single season I liked the plot of. HOWEVER, it did teach a valuable lesson: if you're looking for good representation in Supernatural, you're looking in the wrong place. This applies to even to show's representations of itself.

Supernatural should have ended 11 seasons before it did, and yet, much like nearly every character in the show, it just keeps on coming. Season 12 nearly did me in, but oh? Season 13-15? It was worth it to get to the seasons where the target demographic was literally anyone who would watch the show. The main plot? Nope. The filler? Yes. I loved so many episodes from these seasons! Scoobynatural, Advanced Thanatology, Tombstone, The Scorpion and the Frog, Various & Sundry Villains, Optimism, Peace of Mind, Atomic Monsters, Golden Time, Last Call, The Heroes' Journey, The Gamblers, Last Holiday.

Cass's confession made me absolutely bawl my eyes out for the remaining episodes of Supernatural (I was a blubbering little ball, throwing in a good few mutterings about Our Flag Means Death along the way) However, in the end, it just felt right that it should end this way. Not in terms of good queer representation, not in terms of my love of Destiel, but this is what the characters each needed.

Death means nothing on Supernatural because of the ways characters need each other to keep going. Cass telling Dean how he feels means he can let go. Dean getting permission from Sam to stop fighting death means he can let go. Sam living out a full life away from hunting means he can let go. All the characters have what they need so we as an audience can let go.

As much as I will still very much struggle to sit through the main plot points of Supernatural, the characters will always have a place in my heart. They just couldn't die, couldn't fully fit the original format of the show, and just kept finding family (and trauma) in literally everything. I'm glad they're resting well.

I final note I absolutely had to include: DEAN IS SO BISEXUAL THE ENTIRE SHOW! I somehow thought "oh maybe we've been exaggerating this". No, no. I—I... I have problems now. Problems that can only be resolved with getting back into the Supernatural fandom.

Thank you for a wild ride Supernatural. Destiel forever

#Supernatural #Supernatural Rewatch #Supernatural Season 15 #Supernatural Spoilers #Do I Even Need to Tag That #Destiel #Dean Winchester #Castiel #Cass #Sam Winchester #Spn #SpnFandom

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thatawkwardmoth · 2 days

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In honor of it being my birthday (I'm 20 now bitches, made it), I give you people celebrating Scott's birthday. Because he is a fellow Virgo, I know it in my soul.

Jean: bakes him a cake and makes him dinner. The one meal he likes and eats all the time. Her soup. It's a simple recipe and she stopped making it as much so Scott could expand his palate a little more. It doesn't but she makes it for him on his birthday. She gets him a gag gift and an actual gift. The gag gift is usually something like a card that says a really bad dad joke just so his face drops as he reads it. She's thoughtful with her gift and doesn't pry into his mind for it. She knows her husband.

Emma: Buys him a small cupcake and has him blow it out early in the morning. It's a private moment between them. Scott doesn't like that much attention on him, especially on his birthday so she keeps it between the two of them. She spends a ridiculous amount of money on model plane sets, knowing he enjoys making them in the rare instances of free time he gets and adds a little more spending money on the budget for the Blackbird so her nerdy boyfriend can have his fun upgrading it.

Rachel: as a child in her home timeline, she'd wake him up early, screeching about it being his birthday and getting him a present with mommy. She'd count herself lucky a few times that Scott's optic beams don't harm people with his genetics with how roughly she shook him. Nowadays, she leaves a card and a gift on his desk. The first few years, it was basic stuff with no thought behind it, thinking Scott wouldn't want personal gifts from her, just ties and supplies. Then it turned to science fiction memorabilia that the two shared a love for. She doesn't outright tell him happy birthday, just leaves the stuff on his desk.

Nathan: as a baby and a child, same as Rachel. Jean would dump him on the bed to distract Scott and head off. The two just spent the day together. His gifts were usually drawings and small crafts made with some students' help. More presently, it's usually alcohol or favors traded. Showing up for family dinner with Hope so Scott can have his whole family there.

Madelyne: Wakes up early to put on the right music, spends time just dancing with him. He enjoys the quiet moments before the rush of birthday well wishes. She makes a lopsided treat for him and new books he's been wanting to read but won't buy himself. She has to, he deserves this day to mean something.

Alex: Usually annoys him first, making fun of his age. Buys him a card and a round of drinks. Scott likes to feel useful but Alex takes the lead on their hangout days. They sightsee, go to aircraft shows and museums. He gets Scott a few more puzzles, teases him, enjoys seeing his uptight brother smiling and relaxing for once. He's happy to celebrate with his brother after years of not being able to. He's glad to have another year with his older brother.

Corsair: completely forgot, came back three months later with a lame cheap space book that isn't correct at all and is from an Earth thrift store.

Charles: Ignored it. Just didn't say anything.

Ororo: Forcibly made him give up leadership for the day. Of everything. She's in charge and she demands he spends the day relaxing. She gets him a tea, something he prefers over coffee, and locks him out of the danger room.

Logan: Gets him drunk at their usual bar, let's him rant drunkenly about whatever. Is careful to not start fights with him that day. Challenges him to a race on their motorcycles just to have Scott take a ride with him.

Warren: Expensive gifts but from the heart. His assistant didn't buy the gift for him. Warren spent two months finding out all the details and information he needed to gift Scott with all the proof that he'd donated a large sum of money to mutant charities and an even larger amount to an orphanage for mutant children. He gets Scott other gifts but this one means a lot to Scott in a way another book or trinket doesn't.

The team/mansion/island: Doesn't throw a party for him. He's antisocial and hates them. But all day he gets quiet well wishes and cards. He gets small favors and free drinks. They're all careful to not make a big deal out of it but to show him that they care.

#x men #scott summers #x men comics #summers family #rachel summers #emma frost #jeanscott #jean grey #madelyne pryor #nathan dayspring #nathan summers #logan howlett #wolverine #corsair #alex summers

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random-knowone · 14 hours

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Hi! I'm glad you're posting so much about Harris. Almost no one I follow/am mutuals with has been talking about the election at all even though it's so close, even though they were doing so much back in 2020. Do you have any thoughts on that sort of situation? Maybe it's that they're tired of talking about it, but it's just really concerning. It's like the election doesn't even exist to them, and they stopped talking about it once they couldn't complain about it. (First they complained they didn't like Biden because of his support for Israel. Then he dropped out and Harris took over and they complained about her being a cop and supporting Israel. Then there were a few posts explaining that she was a prosecutor and actually did a lot to help people, and also that she also supports Palestine and wants a ceasefire. After that, it's been absolutely nothing from any of them for weeks. Many of them are Americans living in the US, too. (Though it's more understandable for someone outside the US to not want to bother, even mutuals and people I follow who live in other countries had been extremely vocal about US politics in the recent past, so it still feels strange for them to also be saying nothing about it now.)

Hey there, thanks for reaching out! I think it's a shame that I lot of folks aren't talking much about this election when so much is on the line.

I think a lot of people either don't realize how much is on the line, don't like Kamala for whatever reason they may have, or see it as "obvious" to vote for Kamala and don't bother talking about it because they assume that everyone already will.

My advice would be to talk about it yourself, make and reblog posts about it, be the change you wish to see. And hopefully, your mutuals will see those and reblog them, spreading the word. Especially posts about Kamala's plans for office, and her past record throughout her career, to help the folks who don't know enough about her to make up their minds.

A lot of people seem to have this idea that both parties are the same, or that Democrats never get anything done. I think a lot of this stems from people just not paying close attention to what goes on in politics, which is understandable. The main reason Democrats don't get as much done as they say they will is that they get blocked all the time by Republicans in the House and Senate, which the majority of people seem to forget about.

Many leftists on here don't like Kamala because she worked with Biden, or because of the ongoing issues with the war in Gaza, or because they just don't think she's left-wing enough. The best way to address these types is to remind them that even if they don't like Kamala, she's better than Trump. And one of them is going to be our next president, no matter what. An election isn't about picking the person who matches your values to a T, it's about choosing which of two options you prefer, even if neither are perfect.

In the case of people you're close with, you can talk to them about their views on this election, and answer any questions they might have, or address disinformation they heard.

The most important thing is to be kind and understanding, because at their hearts, everyone wants what's best for our country, and for their loved ones. We just don't always agree on what that looks like. The best way to convince people is to figure out what issues are important to them, and explain how Kamala is the best candidate for them.

#vote harris #vote kamala #us politics #election 2024 #kamala harris

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icewindandboringhorror · 9 months

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Some (late) holiday photos of the boye~!

#cats #holiday #OUGHH....... barely could even get these edited and posted... my mysterious sickness flare up has been sooo bad the past few #days.. I didn't even go to the usual obligatory family christmas I was supposed to attend (!!! health issue/medical mention in tags below)#My stomach issues basically put me in a constant state of uncontrollable shivering/body shaking + nausea + sometimes rapid heart #rate. and when it happens at night that makes it like.. nearly impossible to sleep when you're violently shaking + you can feel your heart #so strong + you keep having to run to the bathroom every 5 minute to cough and gag #and throw up and so on and so forth. etc. So I went like 40 hours without any sleep almost for christmas eve and all of christmas day #last night I finally got maybe 2 hours of sleep in between the nausea and shaking and stuff. and then today I was able to get a few #hours of sleep in the afternoon. Today I tried taking an anxiety mediciation a doctor gave me in case it was anxiety related (it's apparent #ly used to relax people and works in the moment. rather than like Anxiety Mediciation that you have to take for weeks to see any effect #because I think this isn't actually acting on your brain chemistry it's judt like..a mild sedative or something.) but all that did was make #me dizzy and sweaty lol. I;m glad I slept a little but I'm just still frustrated that I don't feel normal. I started having these #'episodes' (with the stomach issues + shaking + heartrate + nausea etc.) like at the end of october. And usually it will happen for like a #few hours at a time. or i'll lose sleep one day and then be fine the next. but this has been like nearly 3 days of feeling weird. so is #getting kind of annoying... It's funny too because I was so so productive like.. literally the few days before. I was feeling much better #and I was working on my game and blah blah. But then.. random issue flare up out of nowhere of course.. yaayy.... happy holidays to meee lo #I did at least see two random ducks outside of my window in the yard area for christmas. and havent seen them since. So it's like.. hrmm..#pacing around my room nauseous and shakings and etc. but at least... hello.. two little ducks placed there just for me :3c #Now I get anxiety every night which I'm sure doesn't help/could exacerbate whatever underlying genuinely physical issues exist. But after #like 2 nights of 'I spend the night sleepless and incredibly uncomfortable just sitting in the dark sick' then bedtime is like.. dread...#I even was trying slapping myself in the face in desperation to see if somehow that could shock my body out of whatever the hell it was #doing lol.. up at 3am holding ice cubes in my hand and hitting myself in the head and crying from exhaustion and thowing up.. literally #ridiculous cartoon character feeling... AAANYWAY!!! At least I have baby boy pictures. and I have lots of doctors appointments so hopefully #whatever the issue is can be sorted out at some point. I don't know much about ibs but hopefully maybe something like that that I could pos #ibly take medication for and not something more seirous or anything. Maybe there's a food I'm secretly intolerant to or whatever.#And I did at least post a sims holday video actually timed for the holidays so that's something. I havent been productive really latrely #though obviously.. I can't even play games or small tasks when in that state since I'm just SO physically uncomfortable. Nausea and heart #stuff are THE hardest physical sensations to ignore.. BUT yeah... hoping I shall sleep at all tonight. hopeing to get like 3 productive #things done.. at some point... at least SOMETHING... lol..... *** *** ***

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doot-boi · 9 months

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My christmas gift for me is on the way and in honour of that I wanted to post the part I'm most keen for

Look at 'em. The blorbos in love. This is my favourite love scene ever and I get to have it on a card for the tcg I love in a fancy printing. Thank you Justyna Dura for your marvellous rendition

#mtg #lotr #tolkien #lord of the rings #faramir #eowyn #farawyn #faramir x eowyn #tcg #magic the gathering #original doots #these two have my heart and I'm so glad I get to see them as I play fun cardboard game #also have I ever mentioned how they make me thing of rosegarden #gentle man whose strength is in peace and learning and love #strong and brave woman who fights for love of people and enjoys hearing stories and tales and has a bitchin uncle who taught her so much #farawyn and rosegarden are meant to be

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tinycoffeeroom · 4 months

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treat you better | carlos sainz

face claim: none ♡

request: here !

requested: Could I request a Carlos smau where another driver breaks your heart and he’s there to pick up the pieces and make you whole again? Please and thank you ❤️

cw: cheating, bad guy charles, mentions of unwell family members, cursing

a/n: charles and alex i love u guys i promise this is just for the au <3

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November

👤 charles_leclerc liked by fan, fan, and 78,283 others

f1gossip Trouble in paradise for Charles and Y/N? Charles Leclerc was spotted on a long walk on one of Monaco's more secluded islands with a mysterious brunette and his and Y/N's dog, Leo, this weekend. Sources say the pair were often looking to see if there were cameras around, the two of them giggling as they held hands and played with the puppy. Y/N L/N, Charles girlfriend of 2 years, is currently said to be on a trip home to see family, we wonder if the two have broken up or if Charles is back to his old ways?

fan f1gossip tagging charles is so shady i love it

fan when i catch you charles

fan no bc remember when a fan said they met y/n in her hometown and she was visiting her gran bc she's not doing too good? charles u fuckin suck bro ↳ fan wtf really???? oh i hope his tyres stick to the road next race ↳ fan kmag you know what you need to do ↳ fan we put our hopes and prayers in the paddock terror 🙏🙏

fan ok but the girls gorgeous ↳ fan THAT'S YOUR TAKEAWAY FROM THIS? ↳ fan im just saying damn

fan this is not what i meant when i said i wanted silly season to get more interesting

fan *looks around* wow i'm so surprised... not like charles has a bad rep with women or anything

fan i hope y/ns ok... my heart is hurting for her ↳ fan the paddock adore her, charles has got a big storm coming next week

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liked by kellypiquet, carmenmmundt and 25 others

y/npriv my gran is doing so much better (nothing can keep the old girl down), my hometown is still as gorgeous as always and my sister got me a cake :)

kellypiquet my girl :((( i'm so happy your grans ok 🤍 ↳ y/npriv thank u kelly bear 🤍 ↳ kellypiquet did i have to physically hold max back from going after he who shall not be named?? yes... did i consider letting go?? very much so ↳ y/npriv 😭😭 hes not voldemort babe 😭 you should have just let him go ↳ kellypiquet now is that really how you feel? ↳ y/npriv ... no but i wish i did ↳ maxverstappen1 she has to go to sleep at some point, then i shall be free ↳ y/npriv thats so ominous you strange creature (i appreciate you)

carmenmmundt me and george have been keeping your gran in our prayers angel 🩷 ↳ y/npriv i love you carm 🩷 ↳ georgerussell63 and me? ↳ y/npriv i tolerate you :)

flavy.barla esteban nearly joined max ↳ y/npriv love him dearly but este's about as intimidating as a teddy bear ↳ estebanocon ?? hey??? ↳ y/npriv sorry king xo there's a reason your nicknames estie bestie ↳ estebanocon let it DIEEEEE ↳ y/npriv never 🫶

schecoperez I am glad your gran is ok, y/n. Let me or Carola know if you need anything x ↳ y/npriv thank you checo :( give the little ones and carola a big hug from me x ♥️ schecoperez

lilyzneimer he shall d word at my hands ↳ y/npriv i fuckin love you lily

lewishamilton he will never know peace next year. ↳ lewishamilton i am however happy to hear your gran is well x ↳ y/npriv lewis 😭 thank you x

francisca.c.gomes pierre has been shouting at Him on the phone for like an hour... ↳ y/npriv 😭 ... what are they saying ↳ francisca.c.gomes a lot of french and things i don't want delicate eyes (yuki) to read... ↳ y/npriv pierre i appreciate you ↳ pierregasly i'm gonna kill him ↳ y/npriv ok maybe tone it down frenchie

lilymhe alex is setting his zoo on him ↳ y/npriv that's how you know it's serious wow ↳ alex_albon tinky's gonna boot him in the head

sebastianvettel i am very glad to hear your gran is ok, y/n, sending her and you all my love x ↳ y/npriv thank you seb :( miss you x ↳ sebastianvettel come and see us soon! the kids miss you x ↳ y/npriv you got it! x

danielricciardo he's a cunt ↳ danielricciardo and i don't mean that in a nice aussie way ↳ y/npriv DANIEL ↳ oscarpiastri no he's right, in the nasty aussie way, he's a cunt ↳ y/npriv oscar i did not raise you to talk like this ↳ oscarpiastri we are literally like 4 years apart in age... ↳ y/npriv kicking a girl when she's down WOW oscar ↳ oscarpiastri ... i am sorry mother dearest ↳ y/npriv that's better

carlossainz55 hermosa, he may be il predestinato but to me he is carne morta (dead meat) ↳ y/npriv carlos 😭 ↳ carlossainz55 also i'm glad to know your gran is well, send her my love ↳ y/npriv she already fancies you enough as it is ↳ carlossainz55 my plan is working :) ↳ y/npriv what plan? are you seducing my family members??? hiding my mum as we speak ↳ carlossainz55 something like that ;)

yukitsunoda0511 happy to see your gran is ok! and i am sorry about the other thing :((((( ↳ y/npriv yuki my angel you have nothing to be sorry about

kevinmagnussen i know what i have to do ↳ y/npriv kevin NO you're like 2 points away from a race ban!! ↳ kevinmagnussen worth it :) ↳ y/npriv nicohulkenburg pls talk some sense into your teammate ↳ nicohulkenburg unfortunately y/n i too will be joining kevin in his "defense" ↳ y/npriv haas i am so sorry

landonorris i may have done a thing... ↳ y/npriv i am terrified... ↳ landonorris i'll text you :)

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📍Monaco

👤 landonorris, carlossainz55, francisca.c.gomes, kellypiquet, lilymhe, lilynzeimer, flavy.barla, carmenmmundt liked by carlossainz55, landonorris and 87,902 others

y/nstagram angel baby, dumb and dumber and my girls 🩷

Comments on this post have been limited

carlossainz55 ... am i dumb or dumber ↳ y/nstagram do you really want to know? 🤨 ↳ carlossainz55 for my own sanity im saying i'm dumb ↳ landonorris why am i dumber????? ↳ carlossainz55 do you really want to know? 🤨

carmenmmundt don't forget about lunch today xx ↳ y/nstagram been looking forward to it since i boarded the plane 🫶

landonorris you're welcome for the lift and the room btw 🙄 ↳ y/nstagram my saviour xx ↳ landonorris and for stealing leo for you ↳ y/nstagram I NEVER ASKED YOU TO STEAL HIM???? 😭 ↳ landonorris well i did because i'm an amazing friend and am willing to sacrifice all my bloody furniture ↳ y/nstagram you leave the baby alone, he was probably stressed :(

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FEBRUARY

(estrellita - little star) (uy, quécarechimba - ugh, that dickhead)

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📍Shanghai

👤 carlossainz55, landonorris liked by carlossainz55, landonorris and 89,028 others

y/nstagram did y'all think i would miss the first race week?? ft dumber and roomie x

fan mother has returned!!!!! ♥️ y/nstagram

fan if looks could kill, carlos would be six feet under ... charles was FUMING ↳ fan given the way his girly hid when y/n appeared i would say he has no right to be mad at all ↳ fan if the girl i cheated on rocked up to my teammates garage whilst i was with my side piece i quite frankly would walk onto the track midrace ↳ fan how do we know charles cheated? they've not said anything ↳ fan exactly. if they had been broken up surely they would have put out some sort of announcement to clear things up ????

scuderiaferrari always good to see you in red, y/n ❤️ ↳ y/nstagram FORZA FERRARI SEMPRE!!!!!! 🐎🐎🐎🐎🐎🐎

carlossainz55 i hate this new nickname ↳ y/nstagram what else should i call you? ↳ carlossainz55 yours ↳ fan CARLOS I SAW THAT????????

landonorris i have been demoted from bestie to roomie... this is the thanks i get... ↳ y/nstagram thanks roomie xx btw bins go out on tuesday :)

lewishamilton now you're free of your ferrari obligations, you should come across to mercedes next time ;) ↳ mercedesamgf1 we would love to see you over here y/n! ↳ mclaren um no us next?? ↳ alpinef1team no us!!! ↳ redbullracing come to the winning team :) ↳ scuderiaferrari y/n will always be a ferrari girl, back OFF 🤺🤺🤺 ♥️ carlossainz55

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charles_leclerc added y/nstagram added to their story to their story

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liked by maxverstappen1, carlossainz55 and 20 others

y/npriv that bitchass man... idk how he thought he was gonna spin that story but not on my watch

oscarpiastri did you really have to use my meme though? ↳ y/npriv yes it was funny and otherwise i was gonna call him a cheating lying bastard on main so 🤷🏻‍♀️ ↳ oscarpiastri understandable, please continue

danielricciardo lando was laughing so hard i think he bust a rib ↳ landonorris it still hurts to breathe but holy shit y/n i love u ↳ y/npriv love u too stink :) also don't forget to pick up leo's food from the shops ↳ landonorris you do know you can text me this stuff? ↳ y/npriv yeah but reminding everyone we're roomies is funny to me

maxverstappen1 walked past ferrari hospitality and fred was PISSED ↳ y/npriv 👀👀 carlossainz55 can you confirm? ↳ carlossainz55 oh, absolutely... i was worried he was going to have a heart attack or something

francisca.c.gomes ok but did he not even think to talk to you first before posting that? it's literally been months ↳ y/npriv apparently not 🙃 texted him about it and suddenly he was sorry ↳ francisca.c.gomes men 🙄 ↳ pierregasly ???? ↳ francisca.c.gomes i stand by what i said ↳ y/npriv yeah is there a problem gasly? ↳ pierregasly no problem at all ma'am, as you were

scuderiaferrari we had no knowledge charles was going to post that. we love you y/n ↳ danielricciardo FERRARI? why are you on y/ns priv? ↳ y/npriv me and the social media intern are besties xx

carlossainz55 estrellita, lets go for dinner, you deserve it ↳ y/npriv 👀 are you paying? ↳ carlossainz55 of course, i am a gentleman ↳ y/npriv pick me up in an hour :)

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liked by fan, fan and 40,718 others

f1gossip Carlos Sainz and Y/N L/N were spotted at dinner last night. The two enjoyed a meal before taking a stroll along the Monaco pier front where, as pictured, the pair were in high spirits. We're happy to see Y/N looking so happy following the revelation that her ex-boyfriend, and Carlos' current F1 teammate, had cheated on her. The two were then joined by Y/N's current roommate and F1 driver, Lando Norris, who then whisked them off to a local nightclub. We continue to send Y/N our support and hope to see more of her happy side.

fan i don't think i've ever seen y/n laugh like that, we love to see it

fan this coupled with the photos of charles and his girly arguing in the paddock 🤭🤭 we know who won the breakup

fan why do i kinda think carlos and y/n would be cute together ↳ fan woah, she's only been broken up with charles for a few months and under really shitty circumstances, she needs time to heal ↳ fan ofc ofc!!! i just mean when she's over ch*rles, the two would make a really good couple

fan happy y/n and happy carlos, my two favourite things ❤️

fan y/ncarlos fans we rise!!! ↳ fan he would treat her so right ↳ fan the entire time she dated That Man, carlos has always been so nice to her, i wonder if he secretly fancied her all along 👀 ↳ fan or maybe he's just a good guy ↳ fan that too 🤷🏻‍♀️

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APRIL

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📍 Australia

liked by y/nstagram, landonorris and 890,274 others

carlossainz55 swipe across to see me and oomf Another Carlando podium! We know what you guys wanna see and we love to deliver! The car drove like a dream today, shame we couldn't get more points but it's always nice to celebrate a great race with some champagne showers!

See 98,072 other comments

fan WHO TAUGHT CARLOS WHAT OOMF WAS??? ↳ fan either lando or y/n 100% 😭

fan CARLANDO PODIUM!!!!!!!!! WE DREAM OF DAYS LIKE THIS

y/nstagram FORZA FERRARI SEMPRE !!! 🐎🐎🐎🐎 congrats winner 🥳 ↳ carlossainz55 i think i was right when i said you would be my good luck charm 😉 ♥️ y/nstagram ↳ fan oh they're so sick for this ↳ fan y/ncarlos'ers we're so winning

charles_leclerc congrats ↳ fan ik for a fact he was forced to comment

landonorris carlando are back baby!! ↳ landonorris also cant believe im either oomf or roomie... ↳ y/nstagram stop leaving your smelly socks in the bathroom and maybe i'll change the nickname ↳ landonorris oh that was mean

fan "shame we couldn't get more points" carlos you shady shady man

fan who else cheered when kmag pulled through and took * out of the race

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liked by carlossainz55, francisca.c.gomes and 21 others

y/npriv oh we eating good tonight

kellypiquet i'm sure we are 👀 ↳ y/npriv KELLY???

landonorris carlos is so sexy ↳ y/npriv real ↳ landonorris back off my man??? ↳ carlossainz55 i'm gonna hold your hand when i say this lando... ↳ landonorris WOOOOOOW.... i see how it is carlos

carlossainz55 gorgeous as always ↳ y/npriv you can't even see my face in that photo carlos 🤣 ↳ carlossainz55 don't need to see you to know you're gorgeous ↳ maxverstappen1 i hate to say it but that was smooth ↳ danielricciardo they don't call him the smooth operator for no reason

scuderiaferrari power (soon to be (fingers crossed)) couple ↳ carlossainz55 😉 ↳ y/npriv not from the main acc damn

francisca.c.gomes need you biblically ↳ y/npriv come here then babe xx ↳ flavy.barla lemme join ↳ y/npriv i got two hands babygirl ↳ oscarpiastri estebanocon pierregasly you gonna let her snatch both your girls? ↳ estebanocon unfortunately there was a clause when they agreed to date us and it was that y/n is wifey, we are simply the Others ↳ pierregasly ^^

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liked by carlossainz55, lilymhe and 25 others

y/npriv decided to put him out of his misery :)

carlossainz55 and who is that sexy man? ↳ y/npriv idk but he keeps speaking spanish to me even though he knows i dont understand it 🙄 ↳ carlossainz55 but do you like it? 👀 ↳ y/npriv i think you know i do x

francisca.c.gomes AND YOU DIDNT UPDATE THE GROUPCHAT??????? ↳ lilymhe FR!!!! I LITERALLY SAID TELL US AFTER YOU KISS HIM ↳ y/npriv SHUT UP RN ↳ carlossainz55 no do go on ↳ lilymhe what happens in the y/n gf's gc, stays in the y/n gf's gc

carlossainz55 estás muy guapa, vuelve a la cama cariño ❤️ (you look so pretty, come back to bed sweetheart) ↳ maxverstappen1 we have the translate function on ig you horndog ↳ y/npriv don't be mad i snatched ur man ↳ maxverstappen1 ... he'll never forget the redbull days

landonorris RUE WHEN WAS THIS?????? ↳ y/npriv hiiiii lando... um so.... 🏃🏻‍♀️🏃🏻‍♀️🏃🏻‍♀️ ↳ landonorris GET BACK HERE U RAT EXPLAIN YOURSELF ↳ landonorris carlossainz55 WHAT ARE U DOING WITH MY ROOMIE ???? ↳ carlossainz55 i mean i could tell you but instagram does have guidelines ↳ landonorris ew ew ew that's so gross i dont even wanna know ↳ landonorris happy for you guys or whatever but ew never tell me anything remotely sexual about y/n or i will vom ↳ y/npriv lando wtf???? ↳ landonorris you're like my annoying sister i'd have to remove my skinsuit if carlos opens his fat mouth ↳ carlossainz55 hey? ↳ y/npriv you're so fuckin weird ily

danielricciardo HE SHOOTS, HE SCORES!!!! ↳ carlossainz55 you were right, they don't call me the smooth operator for no reason ↳ y/npriv you were literally giggling and kicking your feet after i kissed you ↳ carlossainz55 y/n :(((( my reputation :((((((

lilyzneimer wait do was taking the photos? ↳ y/npriv ... self timer ↳ lilyzneimer down horrifically bad wow

scuderiaferrari OH Y/NCARLOS'ERS WE WON!!!!! ↳ y/npriv admin 😭 not u too ↳ scuderiaferrari not even sorry i've been WAITING for this one!!!

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liked by francisca.c.gomes, fan and 30,892 others

f1gossip A surprise twist in the Charles and Y/N drama? Following Sainz's back to back victory in Australia and then Silverstone, Y/N and Carlos shared what looks like a loving kiss. Eagle eyed fans then spotted Charles on camera arguing with a Ferrari employee in the garages following the Y/NCarlos moment. Finally, Carlos was spotted outside where he was soon joined by Y/N, the two leaving the circuit hand in hand. It is noted Charles' new beau was nowhere to be seen.

fan Y/NCARLOS'ERS WE SO WON!!!! ♥️ 10,829 others

fan she upgraded wowow

fan charles throwing a hissy fit was so funny i was cackling watching it

fan kika in the likes... what do you know queen? ♥️ francisca.c.gomes

user not her being a homie hopper 🤢 ↳ carlossainz55 can't be a homie hopper if we're not homies :) ↳ fan CARLOS????? ↳ fan oh he ate them up ↳ fan carlos has not been fucking with ch*rles for a WHILE, even before all the drama

fan y/n's face... she looked so happy my heart is so full ❤️

fan queen y/n we trust your judgement

fan ik the entire grid is cheering rn

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📍 England

liked by carlossainz55, landonorris and 105,018 others

y/nstagram carlando podium again!!! anything else interesting happen at Silverstone? :)

fan the carlando bears 😭 her boyfriend(?) and bestie 😭 ↳ landonorris roomie* ↳ y/nstagram you love me shut up

fan she's so unbothered im giggling

francisca.c.gomes the last slide... ↳ y/nstagram don't worry baby, he was just dropping me off for our date x ↳ carlossainz55 all i am to you is a glorified taxi driver

landonorris couldn't even post a photo of me for my podium... see how it is ↳ y/nstagram don't want your ugly mug messing up my feed ↳ y/nstagram also grey bin needs to go out on tuesday ↳ landonorris you're on bin duty this week? ↳ y/nstagram actually i'm gonna be on a boat in spain soooo ↳ landonorris i hope y'all break up ↳ fan LANDO ? ↳ y/nstagram he's joking dw he did the whole "big brother" speech with carlos, was kinda funny knowing carlos would flatten him in 2 seconds flat ↳ landonorris oh now i really hope y'all break up

fan y/n please we know you have bf carlos pics... i only ask for one thing ↳ y/nstagram i'll post some soon x ↳ fan the most unserious soft/hard launch

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👤 carlossainz55 liked by carlossainz55, lilyzneimer and 98,017 others

y/nstagram my boyfriends so hot, do you guys mind if i chew on him a lil?

carlossainz55 please don't chew me??? ↳ y/nstagram it's internet sla- never mind, ok mr sainz

fan her captions are always so real i love her

fan unhinged y/n is back, we missed you best friend ♥️ y/nstagram

scuderiaferrari HARD LAUNCH HARD LAUNCH HARD LAUNCH LETS GO Y/NCARLOS'ERS!!!! ↳ y/nstagram i love u admin ❤️ ↳ scuderiaferrari our ferrari girl, forever ❤️

landonorris i hate this ↳ fan your ex and your roomie 😔 ↳ landonorris you get it 😔 ↳ carlossainz55 stop calling me your ex 🙄 ↳ landonorris you dare deny the love we shared?

francisca.c.gomes never mind him, can i chew on you a lil? ↳ kellypiquet ^ ↳ lilymhe ^ ↳ lilyzneimer ^ ↳ flavy.barla ^ ↳ carmenmmundt ^ ↳ y/nstagram everyone grab a limb x ↳ carlossainz55 please don't chew my girlfriend

fan thank you for the pic y/n! sorry for interrupting your holiday 🥺 ↳ y/nstagram don't be silly!! it was lovely to meet you <333 dont forget to send me the link to the dress!! ↳ fan on it!! ↳ fan omg how was it meeting them? ↳ fan they're honestly so sweet, they were just holding hands and walking around and carlos was yapping away and the way y/n was looking at him 🥺 they're endgame fr ↳ fan could actually cry?? ↳ fan also when they were on the beach, carlos twirled her around and they started dancing to the music playing from a nearby bar... it was actually like a movie scene 😭😭

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👤 y/nstagram liked by y/nstagram, scuderiaferrari and 505,287 others

carlossainz55 dicen que ver una estrella fugaz da buena suerte, y tenían razón, mi estrellita ❤️ (they say seeing a shooting star is good luck, and they were right, my little star)

See 198,017 other comments

francisca.c.gomes that first picture... i love my girlfriend ↳ carlossainz55 can't even have peace on my own hard launch ↳ francisca.c.gomes you snatched y/n from her girlfriends, you will never know peace.

fan he bagged a baddie wowow

fan the caption??? oh hes in LOVE ♥️ carlossainz55

y/nstagram 🥺 carlos..i'm so grateful to have you in my life ❤️ ↳ carlossainz55 i am the one who's grateful ❤️

scuderiaferrari heyyy y/n *with rizz* ↳ carlossainz55 even my own teams admin wow... ↳ scuderiaferrari not my fault your girlfriends hot

user homie hopper ↳ carlossainz55 eat glass :) ↳ y/nstagram CARLOS ↳ scuderiaferrari we love that you're happy but please carlos this is still your official account

lilymhe y/n i could treat you so much better ↳ carlossainz55 back off i've waited years for this ↳ y/nstagram YEARS??? ↳ carlossainz55... 🏃🏻‍♂️🏃🏻‍♂️🏃🏻‍♂️ ↳ y/nstagram you're literally sat right next to me ... ↳ y/nstagram he just got up and ran away... ↳ fan this is so fucking funny sddjsdhdk ↳ landonorris danielricciardo what was that about him being a smooth operator? ↳ danielricciardo hes also fucking dumb

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a/n: hope everyone enjoys! i am working hard on part 2 of girlfriend of the enemy so we can have some happy charles <3 also 2-3 posts in one week who AM I? (i'm gonna be busy w work so i'm trying to give u guys some food in case i have to disappear)

#carlos sainz smau #carlos sainz social media au #carlos sainz x you #carlos sainz x reader #carlos sainz imagine #f1 social media au #f1 smau #f1 x reader #f1 imagine #f1 fic

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birdantlers · 1 year

Text

A heartfelt and grievously expanded-upon update to this—please, please read the whole thing if you can. reblogs much appreciated.

(DISCLAIMER, for all who are saying reasons like abusive parents/legal stuff/toxic ex/triggering memories/page got deleted/job/stalkers/bullying/[[insert any other shitty life thing]], This is not concerning that—personal safety & health ALWAYS comes first, and is worth more than any media ever could be. This is my biggest reason for defending that autonomy. I would be a hypocrite to say I hadn’t deleted triggering posts of mine or ones that got me in trouble with my family.)

it genuinely makes me sad and kinda upset when someone purges all their old art off the internet like. barring harmful content what if someone liked that. What if someone would have. And now nobody will ever know and it's just gone. even people's old invader zim askblogs or whatever getting deleted feels like a micro alexandria to me and that's just something I made up. I wasn't even thinking of a specific one it just stresses me out. Is this the autism I don't get why nobody else seems to freak internally abt it like I do. I see artists whose blogs I've never even looked at go like "man so glad I deleted all my old stuff it's so clean" or saying they throw out art from when they were kids I'm like. how are you not hurling. How is that not distressing that is literally your tree rings why would you do that. I want to see what's out there. people want to see it I promise someone out there likes it

...don't they??? Does everyone get quietly irrationally upset by this as me, or is this just hyperfixation/autism/some amalgam of the two. I'm not a hoarder or obsessive compulsive or anything like that so i wonder..

Anyways. reblog if you had a favorite amateur youtube animator in your childhood whose channel got nuked without a trace one day that you still think about.

I wanted to attach this video because it condenses my point very well. A TLDR of sorts. Please watch the whole thing, it genuinely changed the entire way I think about art as a concept.

(2nd vid is "Subjectivity in Art")

“The moment your art touches an audience, the ownership shifts in an irreversible way. [They're] not having an art experience with you and your intentions. They're having an art experience with the art object.

“You can't just burn your past; it's not even your past to burn anymore. It's other people's history as well. Whether or not you like it, that art is already bonded to somebody's soul, and if you rip the art away, you're ripping a bit of the soul that has adhesive contact to it.”

The digital age makes it very easy to distance or detach yourself from the impact your work has—be it art, fanfic, videos, even memes. Online content is as important to people now as any other media, if not more. But it's also by far the easiest, fastest, and most effective form of it to erase from public access. Media so unbelievably important to people and in general. Yes, you—with the 2010s purple sparkle dog speedpaint. I still think about that speedpaint all the time, because it was the first time i learned that you could draw on a computer, and I thought it was cool as hell. I still do.

I do wish there was a stronger culture of preservation and consideration for this, because every time I see people talk about snuffing their stuff because it doesn't personally resonate with them anymore, I just think ...what about all the people it did?

I've seen lots of people saying "get over it, it doesn't even matter," but it fucking does. It does matter. Even if I didn’t make it, even if I don’t have to deal with being the one who made it, even if I'm naturally inclined to be distressed by it—It still matters. And there’s nothing you could ever say to suddenly make it not matter, because there’s nothing you could ever say to make it not matter to me.

Don't devalue the act of creation. Don't dismiss something you made. It's out there, in people's thoughts and hearts and souls, and that is real. Even if you don't know it. Especially if you don't know it. Especially in a world where physical media is being snuffed out, the internet is constantly dying without any physical remains to recover, social isolation is rampant, and simply because independently produced content online is still media.

Fanfiction can hold equal or greater significance to someone as a book, but you can’t unpublish a book. Authors don’t have a button that can vaporize every copy of their work across all time, but fanfiction authors do. I’m not counting people who download fics either—when you buy a book, that transaction is over. But online, you have the power of unending transaction that can be terminated instantly at your will. The process of publishing fanfic vs. publishing a book may be different, but people’s connection to the art is the same intensity.

So yeah. I do get depressed about the Internet being a constant Alexandria, but the times I get the most depressed is when I click someone's page and see that all their work is gone because they're ‘curating a new aesthetic’ for their page or some shit. Or weeding out all the "ugly" art. Or just went on whatever the hell 'thrill deleting' is, because they just get a kick out of it.

Fuck it—yeah! It upsets me! I’m not wrong to say that. I’m saying it!

Under the cut, because it got long as shit! Also don’t worry the ending is way sappier and more ‘beauty of human nature’ vibe so it’s not all doom and gloom lol

What if that was someone's favorite art of that character. What if someone read that 'cringe oneshot' on the worst day of their life. What if that Warriors meme vid is still burned into a college student’s mind despite being gone for 10 years. What if it's actually not just you and the ones and zeros you rent out to the world—secure in knowing the original will always be on your computer for you to do whatever you want with it.

I really, deeply wish there was more of a general awareness of this, because even though social media can be used like a diary, that’s functionally the opposite of what it is. It’s social media. When you post, it’s no longer in a vacuum, even though you can’t see the real humans that content touches—often deeply.

Media is history. You shouldn’t burn that history just because you personally believe it isn’t worth saving.

Because it’s no longer just your personal opinion. It’s no longer just your personal work. it’s. history. Memory of media is not a suitable replacement for the media itself. If it was, we wouldn’t save anything at all. Nostalgia is an agent of that. The definition of nostalgia is grief for moments of the past that are inaccessible, and the biggest balm for that pain is accessing a physical reminder of those moments. That opinion of yours is no longer personal. It’s weighed against uncountable people across all time that your thing is ALSO personal to. People who would, and will mourn its absence.

How many times have you joined an older fandom only to discover that some of its most popular works are gone? How many times have you routed through random blogs looking for scraps people hopefully reblogged? how many times have you used Wayback machine desperately praying that a fan fiction or a YouTube video will be there? How many times do you look up crunchy old vines or YouTube videos or anime AMV‘s? How many times do you remember old fanfic.net sex that impacted you in middle school, only to shake your head and go ‘probably no point even looking.’

i mourn the absence. No, people can’t and shouldn’t have their agency over what they post revoked, but they should be conscious of that weight. If you’re reading this and getting extremely annoyed, and you’re not in the pink text above,,,, good.

I honestly do hope it gets under your skin. I hope it sits with you. I hope you feel it every time you hit that button, and whether or not you do hit that button—if you hesitate, if you remember this, even spitefully, I’ve done my job. I am howling into the void. And I may not want an answer, but I do want my anguish to be heard and remembered. Because it isn’t me just being melodramatic.

I know I sound that way writing so much, but if my favorite writing YouTuber can drop trow this week and go, "yeah, sorry, all my video essays from less than a year ago that you listen to in the car all the time? I'm "rebranding" my content so i deleted them. besides, my personal views don't really agree align with the analyses i did, or the techniques i taught in them anyway. Sorry if some of the literal tens of thousands of you used them, but I don't want to feel shackled to having youtuber "classics" tied to me”

….then i guess I'm just going to have to sound dramatic! That fucking sucks! Hours of work and knowledge gone! This was a new channel too. It’s very likely there’s no archive of any kind, because who would think someone who worked hard enough to write, record, and edit hour-long videos, would just turn around and nuke it all? I definitely didn’t see it coming, but I did just start a new screenwriting class a few weeks ago, so I’ll tell you at least one person is REALLY missing those fucking videos right now. Because a lot of them were about specifically screenwriting, which I know jack shit about. and that specific person’s pace, editing, and style of breaking down information was the best suited style I found that I could focus on and absorb. There’s no replacement for that. No alternative for his individual perspective. his jokes. his opinions.

No, they may not resonate with him now, but in this decision, he’s put up a big middle finger to everyone who might have. And he has like 100k subscribers! Those are confirmed supporters! Imagine how many silent and untethered observers are feeling this loss right now. Imagine how many will not have it in the future.

If he never posted them at all, we wouldn’t know we had it. It wouldn’t be a loss. But we did. We did have it. Until he decided that no, we didn’t, because he just happens to be the one out of millions of individuals holding the button to burn it in a hundredth of a second.

His personal work, the attachment I had to it, and the ways that it helped me are now just ripped away. I am one person out of millions, literal MILLIONS of people who saw and liked this content before it vanished. The soul has been ripped, the access severed, and by CJ’s (and my) definition, the art is functionally dead. Not for the YouTuber or anyone else lucky enough to save a link or download, but everyone else. From this point until the end of time, even if people even two weeks from now don’t know it. Even if someone who stumbles upon his channel today, doesn’t know it.

We only mourn the concept of Alexandria because we had some kind of scope for what was inside. Yes, maybe you got self-conscious and deleted your 12 year old deviant art account. Do you know who else is doing that?? THOUSANDS AND THOUSANDS of other twenty somethings who ALSO feel self-conscious about their old socials. Art. Fanfic. One direction fan videos. anything.

Suddenly, an unquantifiable amount of information from your age group—an entire age group in 2012, is. gone. And we will NEVER know what’s been erased from that history. We will NEVER know what could have been significant to us ten years from now. Twenty years from now. A hundred years. A thousand.

You could have deleted a fanfic that would have been someone else’s new go-to panic attack distraction tomorrow. You could have deleted a video someone used to laugh at with their friend who died yesterday. When you delete something, you risk tearing a hole in unknowable personal histories.

The Internet isn’t just a big library of Alexandria. It’s a library containing libraries. And those libraries have their own libraries in those libraries have their own as well. libraries inside libraries, inside libraries, ad infinitum. To conceive the amount of destroyed history on the Internet is crushing.

And I just can’t help but I ask myself how in gods name people can choose to contribute to that, instead of reposting everything to trash heap alts titled “hall of shame” or some shit.

You can offload to alts. Put up disclaimers. Make password locked blogs, or dropboxes, or anonymous imgur dumps. Anonymous reuploads. Orphan fics. Make a playlist or linktree of unlisted videos. Cut off the watermarks. Delete all references to it on your main. Make a dedicated unlisted playlist. make a google drive. Make new portfolio sites. Delete any questions you get about it. Change pen names. Pretend it never existed.

Give a heads up.

Something.

But don’t. kill. the media.

The knowledge that our stuff is going to forever be tied to us is a cross we have to bear, but the responsibility that comes with putting it out there in the first place, can’t be ignored.

Anyway. I'm not trying to start conflict. This is not a bash on anyone, nor a call for witch hunts. Or anon hate, or blocks and unfollows or anything of that nature. I'm not wishing ramifications or hate of any kind on anyone who does wants to do any of this.

I'm also not guilt tripping— I am not saying that you should feel bad. I AM saying why it makes me feel bad. That’s not guilting, it’s a dialogue. One I personally feel is long overdue.

It's me yelling into the void: please consider the real people on the other side of the screen before you hit that button. Realize and know that whatever you're about to erase from history could be the most important thing in the world to someone.

Art is an experience. It's why we revisit it. If art and history simply lived in the matter and code of media, we would only need to look at it once. We wouldn’t put things in museums. We wouldn’t build libraries. We wouldn’t look up vine compilations.

If you're able, consider (and I do mean consider, this is not a call to action) not destroying that. And don’t shrug it off as some pretentious asshole venting on Tumblr. You only need to look in the notes and tags to see that it isn’t just me. it’s never just me, or you, or the pixels.

And even if you do shrug it off, then at least recognize that what you make matters. Whatever you think about it, if it’s out there, that's not your discretion anymore. If a tree falls in the woods and even one person is around to see it, it fucking mattered. Because it happened. Don’t mulch your tree rings if you don’t have to. Because if enough people do it, a whole forest is gone. Media is history, no matter whether you think it’s worth putting in a museum, or only has 30 notes.

Thousands of years ago, a child named onfim doodled on his homework. They’re crude, and everyone has the wrong amount of fingers, and they’re also priceless archaeological artifacts recognizable throughout the world.

the only thing separating Onfim’s doodles and your MS paint Pokémon doodles is time. The only thing separating your old MS paint Pokémon doodles from being a priceless artifacts, thousands of years in the future is time. Your creations are already priceless artifacts. No matter what you do, don't ever, ever deny that. It isn’t blowing up your own ass, it’s artistic and anthropological fact.

The mundane and the supposedly unworthy are often the first things lost to time, and that’s why they’re so precious. That’s why artists who were before their time are scorned first only to be celebrated later. Do you think they knew that was going to happen?? What if they nuked it? Many probably did! But now that’s happening exponentially and instantaneously everywhere, WITHOUT the artist having to destroy their only copy—which makes it way easier and more dismissable.

Sometimes, If you’re revolutionary enough, people will make an effort to preserve your work, but recognized and thoroughly recorded work is rare compared to unrecognized and thoroughly recorded work.

Sometimes something is beloved enough that it would be impossible for it not to go down in history, but even then it isnt a guarantee, and it’s rare. But if van Gogh burned all of his paintings in a fit of despair before his death, we would have no van Gogh. Because he wasn’t respected as an artist in his time, but that wasn’t what defined the worth of his art. The people after him did, because his art was still there for them.

If you rip the art away, you're ripping a bit of the soul that has adhesive contact to it. If you belittle your art, you belittle the very real relationships and emotions and revisitations people have with the media. You defy the inherent worth and weight of a creation. you created. That's effort. It's passion. No matter how flippant or unskilled or worthless you think it is, it matters. Because at the end of the day, you could have chosen to make nothing at all, and you didn't.

•

Muting notifs

#artists on tumblr #Artistic #digital art #art history #anthropology #humanity #art discussion #art theory #skit yells

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sakuravalelp · 2 months

Text

Phantom letters - DPXDC PROMPT

The bats wake up one day to the internet going crazy; people around the world were getting letters from they're diseased loved ones. The reactions are mixed, from people being outraged for the "prank" to people crying in melancholy at getting closure.

All the letters have something in common: They're closed with a green sealing wax that had an stylize DP and the name Phantom beneath it. Posts about the cards were using the # Phantom Letters.

The bats are discussing the viral posts in the cave when Alfred comes holding a basket filled with letters, announcing they were left at the doors. The letters had the sealing wax that they recognize from the posts. Checking the cameras they can see how they glitch before the basket appears.

Alfred starts to distribute the letters that had only one destinatary. Letters from each Thomas and Martha to both Bruce and Alfred. Letters from each John and Mary to Dick. A letter from Catherine to Jason. A letter from the Drake's to Tim, and another one to Bruce.

Once they had calmed down enough from the shock, Alfred proceeded to read the shared recipients. From Thomas and Martha to "The grandchildren we never got to meet." From John and Mary to "the family that took our little Robin in." Letters from Catherine to "My little boys family." The letters were directed to people the deceased didn't get to meet.

As much as the mere existence of the letters tugged at their hearts, they decided to not read them until they verified that the handwriting actually belong to the ones it claimed. They checked each letter, and in the end confirmed the letters were in fact from they're lost love ones.

After much discussion, each person makes the decision to read they're own letters later in private, and they proceed to read the ones that shared recipients out loud. The letter mentioned specifics like names and events that the deceased shouldn't have been able to know, including they're vigilante abilities, which had them pause each time to panic a bit. But what was more interested were certain pieces of the letters that mentioned a Prince Phantom.

"Prince Phantom said to don't mention things past our death, but it wasn't a command, so we're hoping this won't be much of a problem." - John and Mary

"I still can't believe Prince Phantom is letting us do this, but I'm so glad." - Catherine

It finally paints the mystery in a more concerning light when at the end of Thomas and Martha's letter there is a call for help.

"We're sorry for ending the letter on a serious tone, but seeing the kind of job you all get involved in, we wanted to ask: Could you please help Prince Phantom? Phantom had asked us to not give information about this, but he's so young, and has already been hurt so much. Please, check on Amity Park, Illinois."

-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-

Meanwhile, team Phantom has decided that they needed to get the news about the GIW out of Amity and ask for help. Two problems:

the GIW blocks any technological attempt made.

People might be afraid to learn that ghosts exist and side with the GIW.

As a way to deal with the public image, Phantom opens a possibility that the death have never had:

"All afterlives are open to write letters to their love ones that are still alive today. Nothing that includes threats, and don't go talking about the anti-ecto acts or Amity Park yet, we're trying to ease people into our existence first. Also, I know you all check on your love ones when the veil is thin, but please keep the things you shouldn't know out of the letters if possible. If you want your letter to be sent in the first batch, make sure to deliver your letter before the week ends."

Letters are a good way to reconnect people with the death, they aren't digital, and the GIW won't be able to intercept letters if they're send through inter-dimensional portals. Two birds in one shot.

#dp x dc #dc x dp #dcxdp #batfam #Phantom Letters #Danny is the crown prince #The ghost king is actually the king of the infinite realms and the position can be taken by any denizen #not just ghosts #People had gotten used to call it Ghost King because Pariah's reign was so long and he was a ghost.#The infinite realm includes all the afterlives #Each afterlives is manage by its own responsible entity (usually ancients or gods) that answers to Phantom #Danny doesn't have free reign for everything #He has to take into account the God's and ancients words #but he makes the final decision #The God's/ancients didn't put any problem with the letters because they #Found the idea interesting and they're all hungry for anything interesting to happen #Eternity is boring okay?#dc x dp prompt #dc x dp crossover

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sistertotheknowitall · 7 months

Text

Some Guy Bingo

Masterpost.

Nearly three months into (what Jason called) The Haunting, the siblings kinda started a game. (“Either we're haunting him or he's haunting us, I haven't decided yet." "Considering he's the one appearing randomly, I'd say he's haunting us.")

Technically Tim had started it with, “five bucks says Danny went to class today.” (Gotham university was having an out break of fear toxin curtesy of Dr. Crane.) However, it was Jason who kicked it off with, “ten if he says something about actual scarecrows.”

Dick had snorted and said, “fifteen if it’s a personal experience about a farm.”

“I call bingo if he makes a vague statement on agriculture.” So it was actually Steph who started it.

“Bingo? We were placing bets.”

“Unlike you Hood, some people don’t get adopted by money.”

“As if Bruce doesn’t give you an allowance.”

(“As if he didn’t offer to adopt you,” Tim tacked on.)

It became a running joke where they started calling out "bingo if -" whenever they had to go out on a call. The joke had later formed into a running game when Danny had told Cass, “fighting gods is a pass-time, it is humanity that the real fight is against.” (He had trip over a curb and laid on the ground for several minutes before she asked if he was okay.) She said it wasn’t the most concerning thing he said to her and Steph chimed in claiming, “on a scale of one to ten that statement rates at a three.”

Jason had asked why Cass and Steph always got the weird ambiguous statements and he got cryptic shit about his “soul”.

(Damian had pointed out that at least he wasn’t being constantly referred to as a baby.)

I Call Bingo, which they still played whenever a situation required more than one of them, became “on a scale”

Dick was sure that “having given up on optimism, I find your enthusiasm to be overly bright” should be ranked higher then “I don’t like two-stepping but I’m from the mid-west, so do you know how to line dance?” (Danny and Duke had gotten into an awkward side step where they kept blocking each other.) Damian said the wording seemed passive-aggressive but the tone was too positive to be rude so he gave it a three. Jason said it sounded like a bad pick up line and gave it a two.

They often debated and defended the score they gave with Barbara chiming in over coms. She had never met Danny as Oracle but he was a regular at the public library. He was always polite and respectful and had quickly become one of her favorite patrons. Like Steph and Cass she also got odd statements but hers felt more like half-hearted jokes.

Bruce didn't always join in on their game but it wasn't surprising to see the occasional score placed in their reports. (They had a file dedicated to Danny's remarks. Originally it was to keep track of what they knew about him but at this point it was just to let the others know what he said this time.) Alfred was roped into it even if he didn't really participate unless asked. ("Hey Alfie, what would you give 'i'm glad i don't have to fight my food to eat it but if Batburger keeps giving me the wrong thing I'm summoning Lunch Lady.' Cause Tim says two but I think it's a five.") (He gave it a four.)

Post 4

#I just realized that i'd been forgetting Barbara and that is unacceptable #i hope this is coherent #danny is just some guy #the batfam are mostly use to him #batfamily #dcxdp #dc x dp #dp x dc #dpxdc #dp crossover #dp x dc crossover #danny fenton #danny phantom

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roosterr · 8 months

Note

if ur requests are open, could we have like 141 falling asleep on the reader??? like different scenarios for each of them like price falls asleep accidentally and so does ghost while gaz and soap are like cuddling or laying on the reader :) i love ur writing so much <333

the 141 falls asleep on you

wc: 2.1k

hello!!! been struggling to love my writing for like the last month so i really hope you enjoy, and i'm sorry in advance lol its mostly fluffy but i just couldn't help myself with a lil bit of angst :)

price

✹ when you hear the front door open in the middle of the night – or, technically, early morning – the first thought your sleep-addled mind comes up with is that you're being robbed.

✹ with your heart in your throat, you sit up in bed and stare wide-eyed at the bedroom door, but your fear is short lived when a dull thud meets your ears, followed by a familiar curse that has you breathing a sigh of relief.

✹ your husband, coming home at last from a night of drinking with the other members of the taskforce, presumably stubbing his toe on the sofa that hasn't moved an inch since you put it there all those years ago.

✹ with a deep yawn, you get back under the covers and let your eyes fall shut again, the knowledge that it was john downstairs and not a burglar putting your racing heart to rest.

✹ you don't react when he clumsily slips through the door, fighting the laugh that threatens to give you away when you hear him swear under his breath after bumping into yet another piece of furniture.

✹ the cold air sends goosebumps rippling across your skin when he lifts the covers to clamber in beside you, but the chill is quickly chased away by his hands bringing you into his chest and his enveloping warmth.

✹ "and what time do you call this?" you tease in a whisper, opening your eyes to see his guilty ones looking back at you. the slight flush in his cheeks and his half-lidded gaze gives him a boyish charm that you can't even pretend to be mad at.

✹ "sorry darlin', didn't mean to wake you..." he murmurs in return, a sheepish smile pulling at one side of his lips.

✹ "well, i'm glad you had a good time," you punctuate your reply by placing a light kiss on the bridge of his nose, which prompts his smile to grow wider as he hugs your body to his own.

✹ "i'm havin' a better time now, love." he ghosts his lips over yours as he whispers, earning another tiny chuckle from you, his fingers tracing patterns into the skin of your back under your shirt.

✹ you can smell the whisky on his breath as he leans even further into you, and taste it when he closes the distance to devour your lips in a passionate, if slightly messy, kiss.

✹ he sighs into your mouth, his lips falling from yours when he rolls you onto your back to lay his head on your chest, and like a switch, he's dead asleep.

✹ "john?" you whisper, in a sort of disbelief that he was actually asleep just like that, but he doesn't even flinch when you gently poke his cheek. "oh my god…"

✹ once the morning rolls around, you both share a laugh about his drunken state from the night before, and he makes you promise not to tell the boys he passed out in the middle of kissing you.

✹ you just laugh and file it away for future blackmail.

gaz

✹ the two of you were watching a movie late one night, the first time you've had time to yourselves in months thanks to the never-ending workload you both seem to be under.

✹ the dim mood lighting of your flat combined with the comforting feeling of finally being alone with kyle is nearly enough to send you to sleep already, but your want to spent time with him keeps you awake.

✹ kyle watches you stifle a yawn as he presses play on the movie, and tugs you to lean against him with an arm around your shoulders and a teasing grin. "promise you won't fall asleep this time?"

✹ you look up to him from where your head rests against his collar and huff, a smile of your own playing on your lips as you nudge him lightly with your elbow. "maybe i should be the one asking that."

✹ the bags under his eyes leave no question about how tired he really is, but he was the one that insisted the two of you spend time together tonight, despite the exhaustion you knew he was hiding.

✹ "and leave you all by yourself?" he chuckles, "never, love."

✹ a comfortable quiet settles over you while you watch the movie together; kyle's choice, something action-y you've never seen before, but you know he's seen it a million times. he occasionally adds commentary to make you laugh which he, naturally, manages to do every time.

✹ as the movie plays, you gradually migrate to laying on the sofa on your back with kyle between your legs and his head on your sternum. you absentmindedly run your nails over his scalp, gently massaging his head while he hugs your waist.

✹ it's about two-thirds of the way through the movie that you realise kyle hasn't said anything in a while. you pause your ministrations, smoothing over his curls as you turn your gaze from the screen to where he lays on top of you.

✹ a soft smile lights up your face when your eyes land on his blissfully relaxed features, sound asleep and breathing in time with the steady rise and fall of your chest.

✹ you continue to watch the movie in silence, occasionally petting kyle's hair when he grumbles in his sleep. he deserves the rest, you muse, and something about how peaceful he looks means you can't even entertain the idea of disturbing him. and you would definitely tease him that he fell asleep like he said he wouldn't.

✹ even once the movie has finished, and your back has started to ache from the position against the armrest, you still don't dare wake him. tomorrow was an off day for both of you, so there was no need to go anywhere – as if you would ever want to, intertwined with your boyfriend and surrounded by his warmth.

✹ you close your eyes, give him one last squeeze, and whisper into the silence, "sweet dreams, kyle."

soap

✹ it wasn't supposed to happen like this.

✹ everything was supposed to go smoothly, you'd get what you came for, and you'd be home in time for dinner.

✹ but it hadn't happened like that of course it didn't. you were on your way out, with johnny by your side, when a sudden noise from behind you caught your attention.

✹ you spin around to see a dishevelled soldier aiming their gun at you, but you noticed just a second too late. you can do little more than watch as they pull the trigger, a sick sense of horror travelling up your spine as time seems to slow down.

✹ there's a split second where you brace to feel the bullet lodge somewhere in your body, but that impact never comes.

✹ with a speed you didn't know he possessed, johnny tackles you to the ground and out of the path of the bullet, landing on top of you and pushing the air from your lungs.

✹ you lay winded underneath him, the sound of him returning fire vaguely reaching your ears but it takes a second for your mind to catch up.

✹ it’s quiet by the time you come back to your senses, johnny already pulling you to stand with a strained grunt.

✹ "johnny?" you frown, taking note of how he favours one side when he urges you to start walking again, "you okay?"

✹ "fine, darlin’, let’s just–" he winces, stumbling ever so slightly and trying to play it off by pushing you in front of him, "let’s just get home, aye?"

✹ your frown deepens. you turn around and stop him with your hands on his shoulders, and it's then that you notice how laboured his breathing has become.

✹ "you're not fine, soap!" your heart sinks as you watch the patches of blood on his leg grow steadily darker, "why didn't you tell me you were hit?"

✹ he doesn't flinch at the anger in your voice, or when you haul his arm over your shoulder and resume dragging him the rest of the way to the helo. he mumbles incoherent that sounds like an apology, but your only focus is getting him to safety and stopping the bleeding.

✹ the others are already waiting for you as the exfil site comes into view, and the moment they spot you shouldering johnny's weight they spring into action to help you.

✹ johnny is dragged up the ramp and made to lay on the floor as gaz and ghost make short work of packing the bullet wound in his thigh with gauze.

✹ you lift his shoulders and head to rest in your lap, grimacing at the pained groans he lets out when ghost puts his weight on the wound.

✹ "why didn't you tell me?" you utter, tilting his head back with your hands on his cheeks and meeting his distant gaze with your brows knitted together in concern.

✹ he musters a weak smile and lets his eyes flutter shut, the muscles in his face visibly relax. "i’m fine… ‘slong as yer okay, bonnie…"

ghost

✹ sometimes you wondered if ghost ever slept.

✹ he would always volunteer himself for the first watch, and he was up before you without fail every morning. on base he always seemed to be in the gym before everyone, and in his office after everyone else has left. he was frustratingly elusive.

✹ it worried you, that perhaps he had trouble sleeping. it made sense, however saddening, that someone like him wouldn't sleep well, but it was even worse that he brushed off your concern for him with practised ease.

✹ he made sure to take care of others, but wouldn't let you try and do the same for him. perhaps he thought you were joking, or that you were only being courteous, but your mind always goes back to one thing; the theory that, for some people, it's only possible for them to fall asleep when they feel safe.

✹ you wanted to be that for him, like he was for you.

✹ you do your best to forget about your rejected concerns for him, and the thought all but slips your mind until a mission two months later.

✹ it was long, drawn-out, and gruelling, and all you wanted to do was get home and have a shower hot enough to melt your skin. it had been almost a week since you've had a moment to catch your breath, and you were more than thankful to be on the way home.

✹ even if that meant being squashed into the back of an suv with soap passed out on your left and ghost on your right. gaz called shotgun and wouldn't give it up for anything, so here you were, shoulder to shoulder with the lieutenant you may or may not harbour feelings for.

✹ the five of you have been on the road for a couple of hours now. the conversation has died down by now and and the quiet hum of the radio was the only sound, besides soap's intermittent snores.

✹ you're on the verge of passing out yourself when a weight drops onto your shoulder, and you have to fight yourself not to jump with the start it gives you.

✹ your tired eyes look to the source and to your utter surprise, they find the dark fabric of ghost's balaclava resting against you, and when you tilt your head you can see the blond of his eyelashes against his cheeks.

✹ the sight brings a smile to your face. as subtle as possible, you shift as much as the limited space of the backseat will allow so his neck isn't bent at such an awkward angle.

✹ he fell asleep on you. perhaps it was just because of the exhaustion this mission left him with, but you like to think back on your theory from weeks ago as you admire the restful expression he wears.

✹ your stop fighting your own exhaustion and let your eyes fall shut, and with your last thread of consciousness you file this memory away for later, and hope that it really does mean that he feels safe with you.

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navybrat817 · 3 months

Text

You're a Firework

Pairing: Roommate!Bucky Barnes x Female Reader Summary: You're all set to watch fireworks with the gang and Bucky can't keep his hands to himself. Word Count: Over 2k Warnings: Explicit sexual content, vaginal fingering, semi-public sexy times, pet names, inner monologue, established relationship, humor, feels (it's me), Bucky Barnes (he's a warning, okay?). A/N: I KNOW it's Steve's birthday, but my muse demanded Stud and Smartie. ❤️ I'm so sorry, lovelies. Not beta read and written on my phone, so any and all mistakes are my own. Divider by the talented @firefly-graphics. Please follow @navybrat817-sideblog for new fics and notifications. Comments, reblogs, feedback are loved and appreciated!

“You know,” Natasha began as she handed you a drink. “You and Bucky could've had your wedding today. No one would have objected.”

“With Steve's birthday right around the corner? And take away from Sam’s amazing barbeque? No way,” you smiled, stepping out of the way as Clint walked by with sparklers in each hand. You refused to take attention away from either of them. “I’m glad we’re all hanging out though.”

Today was a good day. Not only was the weather as close to perfect as it could get, not too warm or too cold, it was a chance to get together and mingle since everyone had a few days off. Between the sunshine, food, and games, the gang had a lot of fun. You imagined your wedding reception would be fun, too.

Maybe the two of you could even have sparklers to celebrate, if only to entertain Clint.

“Bucky called you his wife earlier,” the redhead commented.

“He did?” You smiled, your heart swelling.

“He did. When you beat Sam at horseshoes, he looked right at Steve and said, ‘that’s my wife' with a huge smile on his face.”

Yeah, I am. Almost.

You nearly swooned, giving your fiancé a glance as he set his chair by the fire pit. “And that’s my husband.”

Natasha lightheartedly rolled her eyes and nudged you. “Better go and join him then. The fireworks are going to start soon,” she said, heading to her seat beside Clint. The town was shooting off fireworks in the nearby park, but you all decided it was better to hang back. The yard was a great spot to view them and no one had to worry about the crowd.

“Be right there,” you said, shivering as a light breeze rolled in. Sam had the fire going, but you hadn't realized how chilly it was now that it was dark. Grabbing your blanket from your bag nearby, you also realized as you walked over to the gang that there wasn't a place for you to sit. Bucky looked your way with a gentle smile and patted his thigh before you could ask if there was an extra chair available inside. You caught a glimpse of heat in his eyes as you made your way closer.

You loved that look.

“Is that my seat?” You asked.

“This could be your seat.” Bucky pointed at his face as you bit your lip. If everyone wasn’t around, you’d consider it. “But this one might be more comfortable to watch the fireworks,” he added, patting his massive thigh again.

His face. His thigh. Both were incredible places to sit.

“Yeah, comfortable. That’s the word,” you teased, shrieking as he dragged you onto his lap once you were within reach. You were lucky you didn't spill your drink. “Easy, tiger.”

He growled and nuzzled your neck once you situated yourself and placed your drink the cup holder. “This tiger will also keep you warm,” he promised.

“Aww. You two are just the cutest,” Sam said, swigging his beer with a chuckle when Bucky huffed.

“Yeah, we are. And in case you forgot, my girl kicked your ass earlier. Beauty, brains, and brawn,” he boasted. You didn’t have to look back to see the smug smile on his face. “Proud of you.”

I will not get giddy or aroused from that praise.

“Yeah, yeah, yeah. I’ll get you next time,” Sam scoffed, looking over at you with a smile to let you know it was in good fun. He was a good guy, like Steve. You hoped they each found someone who made them feel the way Bucky made you feel.

“Or she’ll kick your ass again,” Bucky said without skipping a beat.

Oh, boys. So endearing. So competitive.

“Enough of that. Sam, I’m pretty sure I got lucky and I’d love a rematch. Stud, you just concentrate on keeping me warm,” you teased, draping the blanket over both of you. His embrace was always warm. “Surprised we don't have s’mores.”

“Those are for after the fireworks,” Steve said from the other side of you.

You smiled over at him before tilting your head back to gaze at Bucky. You weren't sure if the guys did it on purpose, but they each wore the same tight fitting T-shirt in patriotic colors. They all looked handsome, but your man looked look sex on legs. The love of your life would always turn your head.

“Not for us,” Bucky said, placing a kiss on your shoulder as his hand rested possessively on your hip. “We’re going to bed.”

You giggled and snuggled back against him when the rest of the gang protested. “But what if I want a s'more?”

“I’ll personally make you one and feed it to you in bed,” he half growled.

“You’re really not going to stay up with us?” Steve asked, a knowing look on his face.

“Oh, I’m sure something will get up,” Natasha deadpanned, making everyone laugh. She wasn't wrong.

“On your birthday, we’ll stay up as late as you want. Tonight, we’re watching the fireworks and going to bed,” Bucky grumbled, brushing a finger over your engagement ring. “Unless you really want to stay out here.”

You giggled again. Bucky had to share your attention with everyone all day and was still sharing it now. He was more than ready to have you all to himself. You understood the feeling.

“I’m fine with going inside after the fireworks. We’ll check on the cats and then go to bed,” you assured him.

With everyone drinking, you all decided it was better to crash in the same place instead of going home. Neither of you wanted to leave Alpine or Soot at your place though in case any neighbors decided to shoot fireworks off the roof, so you brought them over. They had a space set up under the guest bed with some white noise to help block out some of the sound. Anything to help put them at ease.

Bucky tilted your chin a bit more to place a soft kiss on your lips, the tension crackling like the fireworks had already started. “Thank you, Smartie.”

“You’re welcome, Stud.”

As if on cue, the show began.

You looked up at the sky in awe as the first firework rushed into the air. An explosion followed by a vivid display of light, they were like rainbows in the night brightening the darkness with color. They were beauty and wonder, a form of art that faded almost as quickly as it was created. Watching with loved ones made it all the more special.

You tilted your head and smiled when you caught Bucky staring back at you. “Why aren't you looking at the sky?”

“Why aren't you?” He teased, bumping his nose against yours. “Besides, I don't need to watch the sky when I have the most beautiful view right here.”

Your cheeks warmed. So did your heart. “You flatter me so,” you whispered, looking back at the sky again.

Bangs, crackles, and thunderous sounds continued to fill the air with the gorgeous display. You couldn’t keep the smile off your face. You almost regretted not having your phone beside you so you could take some pictures.

Though you likely would’ve dropped it when you felt Bucky’s hand move from your hip to under your skirt.

“Stud?” You gasped, quickly looking around as his hand trailed up your thigh. No one was looking your way. They were too occupied with the fireworks.

“Just keep looking at the sky, Smartie,” he said against your ear, your legs opening more as his hand found its prize. “And I'll keep touching you.”

Oh, fuck.

You shivered in his grasp despite the blanket and his body providing more than enough heat. His touch was possessive yet tender and you could feel your body turn to jelly as he rubbed you through your panties. You tried to concentrate on the colors above you, the material damp from his expert touch. And you couldn't stop your heart from pounding in your ears, adding the explosive noises around you.

More fireworks went off, but you blocked out the “oohs” of your friends as he pushed the wet fabric aside. “Bucky,” you whimpered, biting your tongue when he traced a finger along your slick pussy.

“I’ve wanted to touch you all day,” he whispered against your neck, teasing your folds. Your hole clenched before the fingertip even touched it. “I can't believe you’re mine. Keep asking myself how I got so lucky.”

I’m the lucky one.

His finger breached you, making you gasp and grip his arm. His palm pressed against your clit and you couldn’t help but push your hips down, seeking out more friction. You wanted to take care of him, too. Maybe when the two of you went to bed…

Another finger slipped in, curling and thrusting quickly. If you were at home, he’d take more time in taking you apart. He wouldn't stop until you soaked the sheets and even then he might keep going. And he'd make sure you were a quivering mess, mewling and begging for mercy or reprieve.

“Have I told you today how much I love you, babydoll?” He asked, static pleasure coursing through your body as you climbed higher.

Orgasms were a lot like fireworks. Some tumbled slowly in the sky, like a slow fire that coursed through your veins. Others exploded, so large and powerful that you couldn’t keep the sounds of awe in. Then there were small bursts, the ones that got the job done and still felt good.

You wondered what kind of orgasm Bucky would give you tonight.

“I love you, too,” you whispered, colors dancing behind your eyes as you shut them.

You wanted to shout how much you loved Bucky Barnes. You wanted your love for him to burst through the sky like a shooting star. But you didn’t need to put on a show for him to know you were his. He knew you belonged to him.

But you’d still have to try and keep quiet as you clenched around his fingers.

“Please,” you whispered, ready to fall over the edge as his palm rubbed your clit again.

Your head turned and his mouth slanted against yours to swallow down your moan. “Open your eyes,” he whispered, his fingers curling once more as you listened to his command and watched the colors light up his blue eyes. “And come for me.”

Your walls pulsed as the finale began, your cry drowned out by the rapid booms. Your wetness coated his fingers, every nerve cell vibrating as brilliant hues illuminated the sky. The hues swirled in your dizzying head, too. You were flying. Sinking. Floating.

You were a firework.

“Beautiful,” Bucky whispered, guiding you back to him.

Your body stayed lax against his, wishing he didn't have to take his fingers out. “You’re beautiful,” you exhaled, watching him subtly bring his hand to his mouth to taste your release. “Menace,” you added.

This man. I really just let him finger bang me with everyone sitting around.

“Yeah, I am,” he smiled, placing another kiss on your lips as Steve and Sam got up. Natasha and Clint were already up, too, to get more drinks.

If anyone knew what happened, they didn't draw any attention to it.

“Those were even better than last year,” Sam said.

“They were. And now we can have s'mores,” the blonde smiled, stopping to look at his best friend. “I thought you two were going to bed.”

“In a minute,” Bucky said, shifting his hips under yours to let you feel how hard he was. Getting you off turned him on. “Think I need to relax a bit more.”

Yeah, so no one sees you walking around with a raging hard-on.

You wiggled your hips, smiling when your fiancé quietly groaned. “Yeah. Relax,” you sighed, feeling him squeeze your thigh in a warning.

Well, he wanted your attention before and now he had it.

And I’ll make him see fireworks before the night is over, too.

Stud and Smartie need to talk to my muse and make sure Steve has a good birthday. 🥰 Love and thanks for reading! ❤️

Masterlist ⚓ Bucky Barnes Masterlist ⚓ Ko-Fi

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yxngbxkkie · 10 months

Text

baby fever (b.c)

this man needs to chill because i can only take so much 😭 ngl, this is probably the most i've written in a while, and i'm really glad to provide some cute fics for you guys 🩷 i hope you like it!

feedback is greatly appreciated 🥰

“Do you have everything?” Chan asks you while unloading the rental car.

You take a peek into the back seat of the car, making sure both of you had everything. “I don't see anything,” you reassure him.

Chan walks towards your mother's house, presents stacked in his hands. You gently rub his back as you walk up the steps. You knock a couple of times before opening the door, announcing your presence.

“My baby's home!” Your mother's voice reaches your ears, causing you to grin ear to ear.

You give her a quick hug before making sure Chan gets into the house okay. You shut the front door behind him and rest a hand on his forearm.

“Do you need help with anything?” You ask him, moving to grab a couple of the gifts.

“I got it, baby,” he reassures you with a head shake. He leans down to press a quick kiss on your lips before walking over towards the Christmas tree.

You giggle to yourself, gently biting your lip after he walks away. Your mother nudges your arm, snapping you from your thoughts. You lift your head to look at her, seeing a smirk on her lips.

“When's the wedding?” She jokes with you.

A groan leaves your lips as you start to feel embarrassed. “Not for a little while,” you tell her with a shy laugh. Your gaze finds Chan, silently watching him distribute the presents. “I don't even know if he wants to marry me.”

She lets out a scoff, crossing her arms over her chest. “Honey, that boy is infatuated with you. He'd be crazy not to marry you.”

“We'll see where life takes us,” you mention, the smile on your lips growing when you meet your boyfriend's eyes.

“I want to be the first one to know if he does propose,” your mother whispers into your ear as she walks by, joining everyone in the kitchen.

You playfully roll your eyes, keeping yourself from blushing. Chan gives the older woman a quick hug as she walks by before making his way back to you.

“What were you two chuckling about?” He asks, tapping his fingertip on the tip of your nose.

“Just girl stuff,” you vaguely lie, leaning on your toes to kiss his lips. Chan hums into the kiss, his hands grabbing a hold of yours.

He mumbles a quick, "I love you," against your lips, planting one more kiss before fully pulling away. “Why don't we go say hi to everyone,” Chan mentions, squeezing your hands in his.

You nod your head and lead him into your kitchen. You greet the rest of your family, giving them hugs and kisses. You make grabbing hands at the toddler in your big sister's arms.

“Hi, baby boy,” you squeal, holding the one and half year old baby. He smiles at you, bringing his tiny hand to your cheek. “You're getting so big!”

You rest the baby on your hip, lightly bouncing him in your arms. Ji-ho squeals and kicks his little legs into your side. You release a little cry and point at the little man.

“Watch your feet, mister! You're gonna hurt Auntie,” you chuckle, adjusting his legs so they're sitting comfortably.

“He loves to kick,” your sister mentions, walking over to her son. “I forgot to tell you.”

You playfully scoff as she pinches the boy's cheeks. “That would've been some crucial information, Joon,” you tell her with a smile.

Chan moves to stand behind you, and you can hear him coo at Ji-ho. You glance over your shoulder, watching him smile at your nephew. His dimples are present, and you can feel your heart fluttering in your chest.

“Do you want to hold him?” You ask him, turning to face him.

Your boyfriend's gaze moves from you to your older sister. “Would that be okay?” He asks her politely.

“Of course!”

Chan takes the baby from you, lifting him higher for a quick second before resting him on his hip. “Hi, buddy,” he whispers in his baby voice, tickling his stomach.

Ji-ho squeals again, more giggles coming from the baby's lips. He rests his head on Chan's shoulder, his tiny hands gripping his shirt. Your heart feels like it's swelling even larger as you witness your boyfriend interacting with him.

You pull your phone out and snap a couple of photos. He'd make such a great dad… You think to yourself as Chan starts walking around the kitchen with Ji-ho.

Your mother pats your back gently, snapping you from your thoughts. She gives you a knowing smile before nodding her head towards Chan.

“Baby,” you call out to him, capturing his attention. You motion your head towards the hallway. Your sister takes Ji-ho from him as you excuse the two of you.

Chan slips his arms around your waist as you walk down the hallway. You rest your hands on top of his, and you feel like your heart's going to fly out of your chest.

“Everything okay?” He whispers into your ear while stepping into your childhood bedroom.

You nod your head and gently shut the door. His eyes dance between you and the bedroom door. You take a couple of steps towards the taller man, resting your hands on his cheeks.

“Have I told you how much I love you?” You ask in a whisper, gently stroking his cheek.

“Of course,” he whispers back to you, placing his hands on your hips. “What's this ab-”

You cut him off by leaning on your toes, kissing his lips. A moan leaves his lips while his grip on you tightens. One of your arms wraps around his neck as you deepen the kiss.

Chan pulls away from you abruptly, and you attempt to chase his lips, not having enough. “Baby, baby,” he mumbles, moving his hands to your arms. “What's gotten into you?”

You feel embarrassed at how needy you are, but seeing him with a baby has made you a little feral. He gently rubs your arms as you find yourself looking at the carpet.

“I might have baby fever,” you whisper loud enough for him to hear.

He giggles and bends down a little to look in your eyes. “Oh yeah?” He smiles at you, bringing one of his hands to your cheek.

You can feel your cheeks begin to blush, and you push him playfully. “You know what? I hate you,” you laugh, moving past him to lay on your bed.

Chan laughs with you and lays down beside you. “I love you too, baby,” he grins ear to ear before kissing your forehead. He peppers more kisses all over your face. “So, you want a baby?”

A groan leaves your lips after hearing his question. “Not right now, obviously,” you tell him, finding his hand before lacing your fingers together. “But, in the future, I'd like to have a family with you.”

His lips find yours and he kisses you passionately. Your free hand grips the sweater he's wearing, feeling your heart pounding in your chest.

Chan pulls away and rests his forehead on yours. “I would love to have a family with you, baby.”

tagging: @strawboorybunny @reddesert-healourblues @spacegirlstuff @moon0fthenight @foxinnie8 @like-a-diamondinthesky @prettymiye0n

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cutielando · 6 months

Text

celebrations are in order | m.v.

social media au

synopsis: in which you make the most of his third wdc

my masterlist

liked by maxverstappen1, francisca.cgomes and 3,291,483 others

yourusername feels so good being back at the paddock tagged: maxverstappen1

view all 857,313 comments

maxverstappen1 out of all the pictures you took of me...

yourusername i love these

maxverstappen1 of course you do

redbullracing Glad to have you back, Y/N!

francisca.cgomes MY WIFE BACK IN THE PADDOCK ❤️❤️

yourusername i missed you sooooooo much !!! ❤️❤️

lilymhe GIRL LUNCH !!!!!!

user1 THE PEOPLE'S WAG IS BACK IN THE PADDOCK

user2 all is well when Y/N is in the garage😩😩

alex_albon max will finally be in a good mood

maxverstappen1 i can read these, you know

yourusername that's why i'm here. we're all tired of moody max😔

maxverstappen1 I CAN READ THESE

user3 our good luck charm has arrived ❤️❤️

user4 like he needs a good luck charm to dominate the entire grid🥲

landonorris what took you so long?

yourusername some people have a life, you know?

landonorris not when you're involved in f1 they don't

yourusername you're lucky i like you, otherwise you would have received a rant 😠

maxverstappen1 i've received one. trust me mate, you don't want to be on the receiving end

yourbff still sad you didn't take me with you 😔

yourusername you are literally on the other side of the globe⁉️

yourbff i don't see your point

yourusername maxverstappen1 help me out here

maxverstappen1 i'm not getting between you two again

user5 Y/N, do you think Max will win the championship after this race?

yourusername i am keeping my fingers crossed, he has had an incredible season and i think he's going to do everything in his power to end it on a high🫶🏻

user4 so well said

user6 Y/N being there for his Championship title win >>>>

user7 i want a relationship like theirs:(((((

user8 if they ever break up, i'm going to stop believing in love😭

charles_leclerc it's nice to have you back, y/n. haven't seen you in a while

yourusername it feels so good to be back. life has been kicking my ass but I'M BACK BITCHES

carlossainz55 FORZA FERRARI

yourusername wow, too much dude...

charles_leclerc ...

maxverstappen1 ...

carlossainz55 ...sorry...

victoriaverstappen i've missed you so much!!!! so glad to have you back, the boys are excited to see auntie Y/N!!❤️❤️❤️

yourusername i can't wait to see my favorite little munchkins ❤️❤️❤️

maxverstappen1 what about me?

yourusername i’m sorry, babe. you can’t compete with lio and luka for this one

victoriaverstappen you could never compete with them

maxverstappen1 wow, betrayed by my own blood..

liked by yourusername, victoriaverstappen and 5,391,584 others

maxverstappen1 I cannot thank everyone enough. Being on this journey, achieving what we have achieved together this season has been incredible. A massive thank you to the team and for everything they do for us, a shoutout to my family for always supporting me and a special thanks to my Y/N. I couldn't have done any of this without you, I love you.❤️ tagged: redbullracing and yourusername

view all 958,251 comments

yourusername watching you race and do what you love is my favorite thing. i'm proud of you beyond words and i can't wait to see what you do in the future. i love you so much❤️🫶🏻

maxverstappen1 thank you for being you🩵

redbullracing You are one of a kind, Max. Seeing you go down in history books right before our eyes is the biggest privilege. Let's finish the season on a high together and look forward to next year!💙 liked by maxverstappen1 and yourusername

landonorris well done, mate. the y/n effect was obvious

maxverstappen1 thanks mate

yourusername you're just jealous i didn't cheer you on as loudly

landonorris i'm deeply hurt, actually

maxverstappen1 dude, get your own cheerleader and stop trying to steal mine

yourusername boys, don’t worry, you know i support everyone almost equally

landonorris almost?

yourusername i’ll always be a redbull girlie at heart

schecoperez let's go!!! liked by maxverstappen1

user1 he did it for Y/N i'm sobbing😭😭😭

user2 UNSTOPPABLE MAX STRIKES ONCE AGAIN🫶🏻🫶🏻🫶🏻👏👏👏👏🩵

user3 the tribute to Y/N had me in tears >>>>>>>>>>>

user4 they are such a power couple😩😩😩💙

user5 the season was boring, max is taking all the fun out of the sport by winning all the damn time💀

yourusername he deserves every single win that he gets, he's good. if you believe the sport is boring, don't watch it. stop hating on drivers just because they are successful, you have no idea what it's like to be in their shoes

user2 PERIOD👏👏👏

user1 QUEEN ATE AND LEFT NO CRUMBS👸🫶🏻

user3 YOU TELL THEM Y/N

victoriaverstappen we're so proud of you, Max. you're truly one of a kind🩵

maxverstappen1 i love you guys❤️

yourusername you guys are making me cry😭😭

maxverstappen1 baby, you literally just stopped crying a minute ago

yourusername I CAN’T HELP IT OKAY⁉️⁉️

alex_albon max once again making all of us look bad

maxverstappen1 i’m sorry man

yourusername you don’t need his help for that

alex_albon ouch

user9 BABABAHAHQHQHQHQ Y/N WAS SUCH A SAVAGE FOR THIS HAHAHAHA

georgerussell63 party tonight?

maxverstappen1 you know it

yourusername brave yourselves

christianhorner always a pleasure watching you work your magic, Max 👏

maxverstappen1 thank you, christian. your support means very much to me

yourusername awww, you’re like father and son🥹🥹

christianhorner we might as well just adopt him

gerihalliwellhorner 2 kids isn’t enough for you?

christianhorner no

liked by maxverstappen1, landonorris and 3,194,853 others

yourusername words cannot begin to describe the pride i feel when i look at this man. Max, the things you have achieved have completely made me fall in love with you all over again. your dedication, your talent and your craft are a delight to experience and i can't be more grateful to be the one you share life with. i'm looking forward to seeing what the future has in store for you, and know that i'll be with you every single step of the way. i love you, my world champion❤️ tagged: maxverstappen1

view all 763,192 comments

maxverstappen1 forever grateful that you exist in my life❤️i don’t know what i did to deserve you

yourusername you’re gonna make me cry again😭❤️

maxverstappen1 please don’t

yourusername too late

francisca.cgomes i have never seen you cry so much, it made me cry with you 😭😭😭❤️

yourusername i love you ❤️❤️😭😭

pierregasly what..?

maxverstappen1 don’t even ask

yourusername YOU WOULDN’T UNDERSTAND 😭

francisca.cgomes DON’T JUDGE US 😭😭😭😭

yoursister the entire family is sending Max the biggest congratulations !!! we can’t wait to see both of you to celebrate properly ❤️❤️

yourusername ❤️❤️❤️we miss you guys

maxverstappen1 thank you very much !!! looking forward to celebrating with the in-laws ❤️

landonorris when did you become the simp in the relationship?

yourusername don’t you have better things to do?

landonorris not really

maxverstappen1 you should get a hobby

landonorris annoying your girlfriend is my favorite hobby🤭🤭

oscarpiastri do i have to come to the party? 🫣

yourusername yes

maxverstappen1 only if you want to, we’re getting shitfaced either way

oscarpiastri so i can not come? 🥹

yourusername you’re coming, end of story.

user1 Y/N dragging Oscar to Max’s party is the most Y/N thing ever 😂😂

user2 poor Oscar must be regretting his life choices right about now 💀

oscarpiastri i am (please send help)

user1 BABAHQHQH OSCAH😭😭

user3 you can tell how much she loves him 😭❤️❤️

user4 i’m 100% positive Max couldn’t have achieved all of this without Y/N

user5 why? she didn’t do anything to help him at all

user4 it’s not all about performance on the track, a lot of factors go into it. she’s been supporting him for a very long time and that means a lot for someone with a lifestyle like his

user3 exactly, every driver needs someone to help them disconnect from the chaos that follows them all year round during the season

alex_albon you’re such a simp

georgerussell63 simp

charles_leclerc simp

landonorris simp

oacarpiastri simp

maxfewtrell simp

yourusername MAX????

maxverstappen1 …

yourbff your boyfriend is a beast

yourusername i know 🤭 that he is, in more ways than one

maxverstappen1 you know it 😏😋

yourbff HORNY ASSES

lilymhe can’t wait to get drunk and celebrate tonight!!

yourusername you and me both girl 😅

maxverstappen1 me three

liked by yourusername, victoriaverstappen and 3,201,835 others

maxverstappen1 safe to say i remember nothing from last night tagged: yourusername and 9 others

view all 854,281 comments

yourusername it might be for the best

maxverstappen1 was i that bad?

yourusername no... 🤐

landonorris damn right you don't

maxverstappen1 what is that supposed to mean?

landonorris you downed a whole bottle of tequila in less than half an hour. by yourself.

yourusername while taking sips from my drink as well

maxverstappen1 i was thirsty, ok?

oscarpiastri i am never drinking with you again😩

maxverstappen1 what did i do?

yourusername you wanted to undress him in front of the whole club and have him play limbo with you naked

oscarpiastri you didn't have to give the details...

maxverstappen1 i would've loved to see it either way

yourusername MAX!! LEAVE OSCAR ALONE

maxverstappen1 fine...😔

oscarpiastri thank you Y/N😅

georgerussell63 my liver hates you right now

maxverstappen1 don't blame me, it's not like i poured alcohol down your throat

yourusername you did

maxverstappen1 oh..

user1 these comments are just confirming what a party animal Max is and i'm here for it 🤣🤣

user2 y/n sounds so done hahahah😭😭

alex_albon i have no words left

maxverstappen1 i'm sorry for whatever i have done to you

alex_albon we vowed never to speak of it

yourusername this discussion is over

redbullracing sigh... giving us a run for our money, aren't you? 😆

maxverstappen1 i like keeping you guys entertained

redbullracing very kind of you. don't do it again 😐

user3 did y/n not drink?

yourusername i did, but i was relatively sober so i could keep an eye on everyone haha

yourusername i love you <3 even when you're drunk and unhinged

maxverstappen1 i love you too, thank you for taking care of me ❤️

user4 y/n taking care of max >>>>>>>>

user5 i love them. 😭😭😭❤️

charles_leclerc great singing on your part

yourusername i thought we agreed we weren't gonna mention the singing...

maxverstappen1 I SANG????????????

charles_leclerc oh yes, very loudly so

maxverstappen1 yourusername never let me drink again

yourusername i couldn't stop you if i wanted to

maxverstappen1 damn.. wild night, hehe

comments and re-blogs help us grow!

much appreciated!!

REQUEST HERE

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deactivated072320241242 · 6 months

Text

—𝐰𝐞'𝐥𝐥 𝐠𝐞𝐭 𝐢𝐧 𝐲𝐨𝐮𝐫 𝐜𝐚𝐫, 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐲𝐨𝐮'𝐥𝐥 𝐥𝐞𝐚𝐧 𝐭𝐨 𝐤𝐢𝐬𝐬 𝐦𝐞—

pairing. ex! Natasha Romanoff x fem! reader

summary. in a day you simply wanted peace, two unexpected visitors showed up. for one of them, you were glad.

warnings. smut! I am NOT responsible for your content consumption! — making out, thigh riding, strap on usage, cursing, angst (w happy ending), soft dom Nat.

notes. my first language is portuguese, so I apologize for any grammar errors. feel free to give me advice, though!

divider credits: @cafekitsune ★

Natasha Romanoff was known as a cold, ruthless woman, who never cared for anyone besides herself. Most of the people didn't know this was due her past — the Red Room was always in complete secrecy, so they feared her. She was already used to it. Whenever she started something with someone, in the next day, she had an empty bed as a gift. To be completely honest, she always felt used. Men and women touched her, to leave her in the morning.

That changed when she met you.

You could say you'd changed her completely, for the best, of course. She became more open with you, learned to express herself better and was not known as the most selfish Avenger in the team anymore.

But just like people say, not everything is a bed of roses.

Instead of using that achievement to improve your relationship, she began to care a little too much about her team of superheroes. At some point, she was no longer paying attention to you.

Reports this, reports that. Missions and more missions. "I have to go somewhere with Cap." "I have to train with Tony to a mission." "I can't, I'll have to go with Clint."

When you confronted her about this, begging for her to understand and willing to help her change, she decided that it was a better option to part ways. You were devasted, and she saw it. That made her heart ache — someone actually lov— liked her enough to want to stay.

This was the one and only reason Natasha didn't forget about you. The only reason she thought about you everyday. The only reason she teared up whenever entering her car and seeing the polaroid with the heart pendant you gave her hanging on her rearview mirror, that she didn't dare to take down.

Today, you were leaving work, heavy tired steps echoing on the pavement's wooden floor as the moonlight illuminated the room. The building was already empty, the streets, darker than your thoughts.

As you started walking to the nearest bus stop, you heard quick footsteps behind you — it was already late and usually there was no people on the streets like this. You turned your head, "you gotta be kidding me".

"Hey, Y/n!" Peter exclaimed, running to catch up with you. "I didn't know you were going to be here at 11:30pm."

You rolled your eyes and took a sharp inhale, but like always, tried to be polite. This so called coworker of yours was always looking at you, following you everywhere, and asking you things, not always work-related. You always made it clear that you weren't interested in men, and he insisted on saying he could 'change your mind'.

"Hey, Peter." you replied, faking a smile and nodding. "You need me to review your documents again?"

"Oh, no. I was just wondering if you wanna go on a date with me. Did you see the restaurant that just opened over there? I could treat you to—"

"No, I don't." you cut him off, more harshly than you intended to. "Look, Peter, I'm sorry. But I don't want anything to do with you, alright? So if you want, go ahead and find somebody else."

You shook your head, not even waiting for his reply and picking up the pace again, quickly rushing to the bus stop. That's when the guy showed you a side that you just suspected, but preferred to believe he didn't have

"C'mon, Y/n." he grabbed your arm, nails digging into your skin. "You won't broke my heart, will you? You're such a gentle, beautiful, kind woman. You will give me a chance."

You cleared your throat, feeling him get closer, and thinking about a certain Red Head — how she would gently, delicately graze your skin with her fingers, so softly whispering into your ear and bringing you to her embrace—

"Back off."

"Oh, no." he laughed. Such a creep. "I won't back off. And if you don't cooperate, I'll make you give me a chance."

Your hands trembled now, silently praying to whoever was seeing this just call the cops or do something. You didn't know the guy anyway. He didn't talk to anyone at work beside you, and you never got to know him, you would never. That's when it would be a good use to have a spy girlfriend. Just the last thing you expected to happen was to hear the sound of a gun cocking behind you, and a very familiar female voice.

"She said back off."

Relief unconsciously washed upon you as your arm was released, only because of the gun, though. You knew that if if wasn't for her, who knows what could've happened there. Peter left, annoyed, but the Russian swore to herself that she'd make his life a living hell.

"... Natasha?" you whisper, turning around with a confused and even scared frown.

"Yes," she worriedly rubbed your arm, shooting you, slowly making the feeling of the disgusting hand fade away. "Are you okay?"

"I am..." you nodded subtly, leaning into her touch. "What are you doing here?"

"Well, I saw a woman being harassed. What was I supposed to do? Mind my business?" she said, obviously avoiding your question.

"You know this is not what I mean." you frowned, carefully letting go of her caress and wrapping your arms around yourself.

Natasha sighed, trying to think of a way to explain herself. 'Oh, I'm here because I miss you so much I can't even sleep anymore.'? No, it wouldn't do.

"I... followed you."

"Oh, great, so I'm being stalked twice today." you hissed, making Natasha look down with your harshness.

"No, Y/n.. I'm here for.. personal reasons. I saw you leaving work, and I noticed that guy following you. I decided to follow too, until he grabbed you and I knew I had to intervine." she explained quietly.

The fact she had said 'personal reasons' deeply hurt you, but you couldn't do anything, you had broken up after all. You nodded, and prepared yourself to walk tp the bus stop again.

"Wait," Natasha quickly stopped you, her eyebrows furrowed. "I won't let you go home like this."

This was something about the old Natasha you knew, the protective one. It was okay, you were tired, and a ride would be no harm. "Where's your getaway car?"

She smiled softly at your joke, and tilted her head. "Around the corner."

You two walked silently towards the vehicle, as she unlocked the doors with the keys and you entered the passenger seat. You threw your bag on the backseat before you could focus on the environment around you, and see the polaroid of you and Nat with the heart pendant you gave her hanging on the rearview mirror.

Natasha noticed your gaze as soon as she entered the driver seat, clearing her throat and starting the car's engine. "Couldn't bring myself to take those down."

You stayed silent, but your eyes could tell everything. I'm glad. Oh, I'm so glad.

Natasha remembered your address as if you hadn't broken up nine months ago, and when you reached your place, you too much disappointed for your own good.

"Thank you for the lift," you whispered, turning your body to be able to grab your bag from the backseat — in the exact same moment Natasha turned to unbuckle her seatbelt — your fronts touching, which made you two a little startled.

The problem was that you didn't pull away, neither of you. You slowly turned your head to meet Natasha's gaze, your face so close to hers you could feel her breath. Familiar. It was pure instinct, almost muscle memory, of the times she always kissed you goodbye when dropping you somewhere.

You didn't even notice your hand going up to hold the back of her neck, much less when she placed her hand on your thigh, and leaned in so your noses brushed. Natasha closed her eyes for a brief moment, almost savouring your closeness, your aura enveloping her once more. Then your lips barely, barely grazed, breath hitching, as she couldn't take it anymore.

The redhead pressed her lips against yours, giving them a long peck. It was surprising how much time you lasted without air. You didn't break the kiss, just darted the tip of your tongue out to lick her bottom lip, begging for entrance. She gave in, trying to pull you closer but being stopped by the goddamn control panel. As soon as you felt her tongue touching yours you realized that this was going too far. You pulled back harshly, leaving you two panting for air and a disappointed Nat.

"Do you..." you shakily breathed. "... wanna come in?"

"Mhm." Natasha hummed, turning off the engine. "Can I?"

You didn't answer, just opened the door and slipped out the car. As you entered, you could practically feel Natasha's eyes burning the place. How you didn't take down any picture of yours. How her stuff was spreading across the pavement. It gave her a sense of... hope? Of course, since she was in the same situation.

"So.. are you seeing anyone?" you asked her while kicking off your heels and leaving them by the door.

"I think you know the answer for that." the redhead practically hissed, making your head snap towards her.

"But I want you to say it." you retreated. "I want you to look at me in the eyes and tell me you didn't forget me. I want you to look at me in the eyes and tell me the reason of why you came to my town again and followed me when I left work. I want you to tell me the reason of why you kissed me just like we always did before."

"I didn't! I didn't forget you, Y/n!" Natasha snapped, looking away and tucking the loosen strands of hair of her braids behind her ears. "I didn't forget you and I never did. Alright? Happy now?"

"Is that so?" you laughed humorlessly, crossing your arms. "I thought you cared more about your superheroes buddies. Where are they now!?"

"I left them." Natasha replied, looking at you again with a mixture of anger and pain. "I left them and came back, to you, Y/n."

You froze at her words, swallowing your saliva. "... okay?"

"I came back here, because I wanted to at least a chance to explain myself. I wouldn't be able to live knowing that I hurt you, and that you think that I did it on purpose. So please, just give me a chance."

"...go on."

Natasha sighed in relief, exhaling the air she was holding. "I'm sure you know my story. You were the first one to know everything about it, about me. And I'm also sure you know you're the first one to ever love me. No one else ever loved me like you did."

You leaned against the kitchen counter, listening carefully to her words, ready to give her time and patience, like you usually did.

"... I didn't know what I was doing, Y/n. Every other relationship I had, ended in less than a week. Love is a weapon and it's letal for me, for people like me. I was, I am startled by all of this, by this fuzzy warm feeling that you always gave me, that you still do, in my thoughts.. the Avengers were my first family, and when I panicked, I tried to hang on to them. In order not to hurt you, and myself." she didn't even realize the tear rolling down her cheek, and shook her head. "That's it. I'm sorry for everything, but Y/n, you will always have a piece— you'll always have my whole heart in your hands. I'll get off your hair n—"

You couldn't. Not anymore. You rushed towards her and grabbed her face, cutting her off with a deep kiss. She was taking aback, but her hands traveled to your waist, pulling you flush against her, your fronts pressing. Nothing changed. Natasha pushed you backwards against your room's door, her tongue entering your mouth and dancing with yours. You could feel yourself getting lost in her, damn it, once more. It was like she had this spell on you — you were trapped, and didn't complain.

"Y/n," the russian uttered, hands slipping inside your shirt and giving your waist a squeeze. "I've got to have you again, at least for one last time. Please, just this once—"

Tired of her rambling, you smirked and grabbed her by the jacket, pulling her into a kiss again and dragging her into the room, slamming the door shut. Natasha took this as a 'yes', and her hands, under you shirt, went to unclasp your bra, making it fall to the ground and a groan of relief escape your throat. Before she could remove the rest of the fabric of your body, you stopped her, pushing her down to the bed.

"I always wanted to do that," you started to slowly, so slow that it almost tortured her take off your clothes, stripteasing for her.

"Shit, Y/n." she quickly started to get rid off her jacket, snd everything else she was wearing. You were careful not to trip on the pile of clothes on the floor, and walked over to her again, straddling her leg on the edge of the bed.

Natasha's hand grabbed your hips roughly, keeping you in place and it didn't take two seconds before you started to grind on her. "Nat," you breathed, arms going to circle her neck.

"Who else touched you like this while I was away?" she growled in your ear, pressing your body against hers. "Answer me,"

"No one," you whined, giving her a subtle shake of your head. "No one, Natty. J-just myself,"

"My poor girl," Nat began to roam her hands up your sides, her lips pressing kisses on your jawline, "I'm so sorry I wasn't there to help,"

"You're here now..!" you gasped, your movements faster, as she began to move her thigh to stimulate you more.

"And I don't plan on going away," Natasha murmured, tilting your head to look at her in the eyes. Even in your high, you could make sense of her words, and the weight they beared.

"Nat!" you moaned, closing your eyes shut. "I need... please.. I—I need you, inside me."

Natasha almost lost her mind with that, grabbing your hips and pinning you down to the bed. She reached her arm out for the drawer that she hoped your strap still was, and luckily, she was right. "I'm gonna fuck you like never before, Y/n." she attached the silicone cock to her hips with urgency, holding your hips in place as she ran the tip of it across your folds, making you whine in need.

"Don't tease me," you gently gripped her arms on your hips and looked at her with dreamy eyes. She couldn't resist — but your walls were so tight she had to put a little effort to enter you.

"Holy fuck, baby." she moved her hand to brush your hair behind your ear, giving you a little time to get used to the length. "So fucking tight for me,"

"I—" you breathed, interrupted when Nat started to slowly move in and out you, her red hair falling into your face. You moaned, putting her hair up in a makeshift ponytail and with your free hand, holding her neck. "God, I missed you,"

Natasha pounded faster in you with those words, your moans only getting louder by the second. She grabbed one of your legs and placed it over her shoulder, allowing her to hit your g-spot repeatedly. You thumb went to your mouth, wetting it and starting to rub her clit — she couldn't say she expected that, her soft moans saying everything.

"Cum with me," you breathlessly requested, eyes fluttering close. Natasha didn't have to be asked twice. Her hips slammed into yours, the wet sounds of her thrusting echoing the room. "Natty!"

You back arched, head thrown backwards as your orgasm hit you. Natasha's legs shook, her weight falling onto you and your arms immediately wrapping around her, keeping her close.

"Don't make me go away,"

"I could never."

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