#these topics are so so important and I could keep talking about them for hours and how they affect health but obviously I won't

[venerablehoney]

What do you see as the biggest public health crisis or vulnerability the world is either currently facing and or will face over the next ten year?

This is a really great question and a really difficult one to answer concisely (but I'll try lol). In industrial countries, chronic conditions are on the rise and are responsible for contributing to the increase of DALY'S but there are plenty of neglected tropical diseases that are claiming lives unnecessarily. Due to globalization, urbanization, and global warming our world is at increased risk of new and emerging diseases, including diseases that are spreading to non-endemic areas due to the spread of the aedes mosquito. We're seeing it (and the diseases it carries) further and further north.

We're seeing an increase in prevalence in some cancers because we're a) getting better at treating people and keeping people with cancer alive longer and b) there is an increase of persistent organic pollinates and microplastics in our world. In industrial countries, it is important to be mindful of cardiac health at a young age because heart disease typically does not manifest until many years after the damage has occurred and is preventable. However, prevention can be difficult due to social determinants of health.

Additionally, it's important to note that poverty, racism and general discrimination is a public health crisis that absolutely needs to be addressed. Racism and micro-aggressions biologically causes stress to the body that negatively affect the cardiovascular system, sympathetic nervous system and reproductive system. Without first addressing racism and striving to undo the systems in place that perpetuate it, racism will continue to be a public health crisis. Poverty makes meeting basic needs incredibly difficult and stressful, and without first securing fresh food and safe housing, an individual can not focus on their long term health.

Obviously, i left a lot out and each of the topics i mentioned deserve their own paper. I also cannot provide you with one single Public health crisis that is most important because they're all important and they connect with each other. Also, I study Public health from mainly a United States perspective.

[waitingonher]

ALL DA LADIES LUV LEO! — [leo valdez dating headcanons]

author's note: i am ladies. where's my irl leo...wtf.

you and LEO VALDEZ are the definition of “if you do it, i’ll do it.” (a VERY common phrase in your relationship)

istg this guy is down to do ANYTHING. you wanna play dress-up and do his makeup? go ahead. you wanna participate in some cheesy couple trend? of course! he’d do anything to make you happy <3 (even if it means ruining his dignity) 

leo has so much love for you, and he is NOT afraid to show it. he for sure owns a million different variations of the “i ❤️my girlfriend” tee-shirt. he’s worn them so much that even chiron and mr. d stopped pestering him for not wearing the chb shirt 😭 

y’know that one topic you could talk about for hours on end? yeah, well you’re the topic leo could talk about for hours on end. you always feel bad for the unfortunate new camper who decides to ask “who’s on your shirt?” it always ends in them making an excuse to get out of the conversation. 

some may say he’s obsessed…i just call it the bare minimum!! 🤗

leo absolutely LIVES for your little gossip sessions. he’s not one of those bf’s who will try to give actual advice on how to handle the situation,, he’s the type to fully shit talk the person with you 😭 you guys are literally the “she’s also ugly…” audio and i know for a fact you guys have made a video using it LMFAO

he also has the entire timeline memorized. he could tell you exactly what month, what day, and what time so and so wronged you if you asked 😭 leo’s absolutely invested and will ask for updates every so often. 

considering how leo spends so much of his time in bunker 9, it’s almost your second home at this point. you can’t even begin to count how many times you’ve fallen asleep sitting with him as he’s worked on a project. but leo always carries you to bed! there’s no way he could allow his girlfriend to wake up with a sore neck! 

speaking of bunker 9, leo keeps a bulletin board full of photos with you and all your friends next to his workbench! when working on a particularly hard project, he’ll look over at the photos for some motivation. 

there’s nothing better than successfully convincing leo to come to bed, especially during those cold winter nights. he’s basically a big heater that can walk and talk. and leo’s super duper big on cuddling so it’s even better. why invest in a heater when you have him? 

LMFAO it’s so funny when it’s summer and he’s basically on his knees begging for cuddles 😭 it’s only then that he curses his strangely high body temperature.  

i also think it’s canon that leo’s a good cook…?? so you’re always eating good with him!! he just loves seeing your reaction to his food, especially when it’s your cultural food. leo knows how important it is to you and to know he could provide some semblance of what you grew up with, it makes him beyond happy. 

when you give him hugs from behind while he’s cooking >>> 

he melts every single time.

omg. breakfast in bed with leo. him shirtless wearing an apron that says “kiss the cook��� while bringing you a plate with all your favorite breakfast foods <33 

pda king 🙏🙏 he loves pda, but not in the gross, obnoxious way. leo’s obviously smart enough to know when it’s the right time and place. 

he’s also really big on “splitting the pole” LMFAO 😭 if you’re walking down the street and a street sign is in the way he will literally pull you to his side while screaming, “don’t split the pole!” babes…it’s not that serious 🤒

his love languages are words of affirmations and acts of service. there’s nothing better than coming home to cuddle with you as you whisper sweet nothings into his ear after a long day. he really values all your thoughts and opinions, so it means so much to him when you say these things. 

when it comes to you, leo’s so incredibly supportive with everything you do. the minute you even slightly hint about picking up a new hobby, he’s already encouraging you to do it. 

he gets so upset when he gets those “these initials are soulmates” videos and your initials aren’t together 😭 one time you woke up to an entire essay-length text from him explaining why you two are extremely compatible in response to a video that said “these initials aren’t compatible” 

leo’s VERY attentive, especially when it comes to you. at this point, it’s like he knows you better than you know yourself. he always knows what you’re gonna say simply by your reaction. his brain literally goes “oh her right eyebrow raised slightly, i think she likes it!” and he ends up being right too.. 😭

or when he goes shopping without you and he sees something he thinks you’d like, and it ends up being something you’ve been wanting for the past few weeks?? at this point he might be reading your mind…

this also makes him the best gift giver ever! it could’ve been something you barely mentioned before bed, but he made a point to remember it and surprises you with it. 

he also likes to make you little gadgets that you never would’ve even thought of but are so helpful. one day you walk into your bathroom and leo’s sitting there polishing his newest project, and he tells you it’s a towel heater he made for you??? 

leo absolutely loves your family and will do everything in his power to build a close relationship with them. he knows how happy it makes you and he also just genuinely enjoys their company too! ooh and if you have siblings, especially if they’re younger, he just adores them to death…UGH he’s so so good with kids. 

whenever he buys you flowers, he also buys some for your mom too!! and considering his mechanic skills, he loves to work with your dad with his car/whatever needs fixing around the house  😭😭 your parents basically treat him like their own son and leo feels so incredibly lucky to have you guys in his life. 

this guy’s your #1 hype man + your personal tripod. when he’s taking your picture he’s literally screaming compliments behind the camera while suggesting poses for you to do 😭 he’s just so silly like that! and then when you post it, he’s up in the comments like “i took these where’s my credit  🤨🤨” 

you guys are at each other’s cabins so often that no one’s ever fazed when you’re at the door. they’re just like “who’s at the door?” “just y/n again.” 

and his siblings absolutely love you to death. they see how happy you make him and they love you for it. but they’re also strangely protective of you too. when you and leo get into those rare arguments they’re always like “what’d you do this time  🤨?” to him LMAO 

ugh but your younger siblings and his younger siblings all look up to you guys like you’re the pinnacle of love. it’s genuinely so sweet,, they always talk about how they want a relationship like you two when they’re older 

dancing in the refrigerator light but in bunker 9 under his workbench light.

i like to believe that leo always has music playing when he works, so when a good dancing song comes on, he’ll drop whatever he’s doing to dance with you. 

sometimes it’ll be a song where you guys are just silently slow dancing together or it’s a song that has you two jumping up and down going crazy. the duality of his playlist! 

i just KNOW that at some point in your relationship, leo makes you a promise ring gjkdslfsl and i bet the stone has some sort of significance to you guys.

sometimes when you can’t wear it on your finger, you’ll string it onto your chb necklace and he just gets so giddy knowing that you care that much about it 😣

SPEAKING THROUGH MORSE CODE WITH HIM?? specifically when you’re in bed, both are too tired to talk, so you feel him tap “i love you” against your skin and you send the message back. 

can we all collectively agree that leo is like the most perfect boyfriend ever?? 😍😍 thanks!

[vickyzangels]

You do NSFW too right? If so could you do Tom going down on reader?

% “너와 천천히 오래 걷고 싶어 until the end of time.”

# synopsis ; redemption era?? resurrection era? idk🧍🏻‍♀️

# pairing ; tom kaulitz x reader

# word count ; 614

# warnings ; nsfw (mdni), recreational drug use, he’s pussywhipped, tom is a, what does ice spice call them? a munch.

a/n ; YALL….. i completely scrapped the fic i was working on like i hate to admit it but i couldn’t do it i scrapped it 😭 but at least i found out something important from it, that i am entirely incapable of having any plot, like i can do a blurb at BEST, but god forbid i put even a minor storyline in. i might go back to it one day when i’m that deep and far into the trenches but the a/n for that fic literally looks like this so…;

he can tie cherry stems with his tongue alone. no hands. gn.

kind of relates but kind of doesn’t anyway one of his favorite things to do while eating you out is fingering you (MY GODDDDD)

his calloused hands from guitar-playing are brushing up EVERY corner inside you, curling and making “come-hither” motions to reach that spot that has you squeezing your legs around his hands and yet he does NOT care, continuing up from your cunt to leave the most sweetest and innocent kisses and marks on your neck like he wasn’t hovering over you and abusing your g-spot till you squirted into his hand

on that topic, he LOVES squirters like he likes creamers too (he doesn’t discriminate), but he’s so into it like, god forbid he gets you to squirt (in which he always does) because he’ll happily come up soaked in your juices like a puppy

i’ve never mentioned this anywhere else but he’s 50/50 in bed with his attitude (that sounds so vague i’m sorry) and i mean that he is generally serious like he’ll fuck your brains out while sternly whispering in your ears about how much of a dirty slut you are HOWEVER, on the flip side of things he acts like he’s sooo damn funny 😐 like he’ll jokingly nip at you while going down on you (obviously lightly he doesn’t want to hurt you) and laugh when you look at him like 😧

he gets so weak if you sit on his face. his hands are wandering everywhere, spots on your hips where there are guaranteed to be bruises by tomorrow by how hard he’s holding you down onto him and his other hand going up to rub and hold your body while he groans into you because everytime his voice vibrates on you it makes you shiver🧎🏻‍♀️listen, tom has fuckboy experience he can keep going for ROUNDS before he decides to cum once but when you’re on top of him squeezing your thigh around his head, HE’S A GONER.

whether or not you smoke, you hypothetically do for this; tom’s such a slut for the way you taste the main reason why you ever get overstimulated when he eats you out is because you taste so good to him, so when you two smoked a blend that had flowers in it for calming effect, it doubled for an aphrodisiac and you had to pry him from your pussy.

about an hour ago, you and tom smoked blunts with a new blend you found from your dealer that only piqued your interest because she explained to you it also worked as an aphrodisiac. truth be told, that was the only thing you actually registered come out of her mouth cause you zoned out when she started talking, but knowing you and tom fucked like bunnies, you told her to take all your money and you were on your way. so now here you were, on your back with your legs over tom’s shoulders god near choking him to death (not that he was complaining), gasping moans into the air while your hand made its way to tom’s head, making weak efforts to push him away. “to- mm..! i can’t take it!” starting to writhe your hips, accidentally bucking further into tom’s mouth. he was pushing you and he knew it, pushing you towards your 4th orgasm and counting and he had no intention of stopping any time soon, especially not when whatever in that blunt was making you suddenly taste so much sweeter. not when whatever was in that blunt was making the music sensually slow down, or making your moans so honey smooth.

a/n ; last blurb’s dialogue was definitely… 😟 but all i know is that i’m leaving the longer fics to people like @arquiiva and omg i think i’m back? and i also watched astv so i’m adding that to the topic list in guidelines but yeah i’ll try not to leave out of no where again

© ALL RIGHTS BELONG TO VICKYZANGELS. do not steal, repost, plagiarize, or use my work for anything.

taglist ; @cup1d-lix @imabitchh @arquiiva @verelace @iovemoonyy @everseve

[dracowars]

I know u hv a lot to do but could u do a draco x yn potter but lily n james r still alive??

part of the family | draco malfoy

pairing: draco x potter!reader

word count: 1,1k

summary: where draco meets y/n parents, james and lily, for the first time

a/n: my first os since forever!! this came in when my draco requests were still open and i loved the idea, i'm a sucker for draco x potter!reader. i'm truly sorry for taking ages, i hope you enjoy either way <3

warnings: none

universe: harry potter

If anyone had told Draco in first year that he would be sitting at a dinner table with no other than Harry Potter himself, he would have laughed at them and asked what potion they took. But that was before he met you. Because Draco does still laugh now, but for a completely different reason: he is happy to be sitting here, next to you, in the home of the Potter family.

Your father is just telling one of his iconic stories from his time at Hogwarts, about how he and his best friends once roamed the huge halls of the castle, and the overall atmosphere in the room is so far away from what Draco usually associates with family dinners.

No tension, no awkward silence, no fear of saying or doing the wrong thing at any given moment. An hour ago, Draco would have believed that it couldn't be any other way. The second he crossed the threshold into your family's house, however, he was convinced of the opposite.

James and Lily are the kindest people Draco has ever met. They welcomed him with open arms straight away, even though they didn't even know him - expect from what is general knowledge in the wizarding world about him and specifically his family of course. And maybe from the stories Harry told them, when Draco and Harry were still very far from ever sitting anywhere near each other. But over time, many things have changed and you played a big role in improving their difficult relationship.

At first, you couldn't believe that the boy who usually treated your brother like shit had suddenly turned into a completely different person in your presence. But he did and it didn't take long until stronger feelings developed. Harry certainly couldn't believe it but here you are, eating your mum's homemade food, chatting and laughing away.

"Tell me, Draco. Have you mastered the Patronus Charm yet? Y/N told us that you tried it in Defence against the Dark Arts recently. Should have happened way earlier in my opinion, but oh well", James asks your boyfriend, a smile on his lips and genuine interest evident on his face. Draco's parents wouldn't even think of asking something like that.

"Not quite. I mean I managed it, but unfortunately it hasn't taken on a shape yet", Draco replies kindly, but doesn't maintain eye contact with James as he's too uncomfortable. You know that such an answer would probably be punished by his parents if he ever were to say it aloud in front of them, which is why you reach for his hand under the table. On his thigh, you intertwine his fingers with yours, the silver sigil ring cold against your skin. Looking at him from the side, you squeeze his hand and softly smile.

"Oh, don't worry about it, sweetheart! You'll get to it", your mother cheers him up, smiling between the two of you and you just know she saw your intertwined hands and loving gaze. You also know that Draco did not expect such a kind reaction and even though he visibly relaxes, he doesn't know what to answer.

The topic of the conversation changes and your dad can't help himself but to ask Draco all about his Quidditch tactics. Obviously, he can't tell him a lot about it since Harry is sitting right next to him, but seeing the three most important men in your life talk so passionately about something they love makes your heart jump. They keep on chatting over dinner and when it's time to clear the table, they don't even notice your mother and you collecting all the plates, too focused on their conversation.

You smile to yourself, following your mum into the kitchen where you put the dirty dishes into the sink and let the water run over them. Immediately, you notice her staring at you with a soft smile on her lips.

"What?", you ask, not being able to hide your own smile.

"Nothing. It's just..", she says, stopping herself as if to think how to best phrase her next words. "You two remind me a lot of your dad and I when we were younger."

"Really?"

"Yes. The banter, the loving gazes, the not keeping your hands off each other", she giggles, drying the dishes you hand her with a towel. "From what I have seen so far, I feel like you're truly meant for each other. It seems like you compensate the weakness of the other."

"Mum, stop it", you chuckle, feeling the blush creep onto your cheeks but you know that she is right. She always is. And you truly feel like you can be yourself when Draco is around so you are glad that she genuinely accepts him.

"Don't tell your brother or your dad that I said that though", she then laughs, both of you knowing that the Potter men can be really protective. The moment Draco enters the kitchen, you stifle your laughter.

"Can I help you with something, Mrs. Potter?", he asks your mum politely and the knowing smile on your mother's face is so obvious you want to sink into the ground.

"Draco, how often do I need to tell you that you can call me Lily-"

"We're almost done, but thank you so much for offering. We'll be right back", you answer and Draco nods, leaving again.

"He is so sweet! What a gentleman!", your mum almost squeaks but lowers her voice so he can't hear her anymore. All you can hear as an immediate response to your mother's comment is a snort, coming from Harry who just entered the kitchen with two glasses, putting them into the sink.

"You're just jealous because you don't have a girlfriend", you mock him while your mum tries to hide her giggle.

"You had all the guys of Hogwarts at your disposal and you seriously went for Draco Malfoy", is all Harry says before leaving again, but deep down you know that if they truly hated each other the way they always pretend they do, they would not be sitting at a table together and they would definitely not be talking about Quidditch.

"He'll come around, don't worry", your mum tells you, stroking over your shoulder as she finishes drying off the last glass. Once all the dishes are back where they belong, you go back to the dining room, happy to see that they are still chatting away.

When Draco meets your gaze, he reaches for your hand and helps you sit down on your seat again. From the corner of your eye you see your parents looking at each other, understanding the other without a word and you can't stop thinking about what your mum just told you about their own young love back then.

"I hope we will do this more often from now on", your dad says, smiling. "And I do not accept a no because you, Draco, are part of the family now."

[baby-beelzeburger]

Headcanon: The brothers finding you asleep in their bed [Part One]

➳ Summary: The brothers come home late to find MC sleeping in their bed. When asked, MC admits that they missed them while they were gone.

➳ Content info: MC is gender neutral and uses they/them. Emotionally constipated demons but lots of fluff and sweetness. 

➳ Characters: Lucifer and Mammon

➳ Word Count:  Lucifer- 1,626 // Mammon- 2,425

Part Two

Lucifer had been out all night on buisness. After the student council meeting had concluded that afternoon, he had stayed behind with Diavolo to continue discussion on the topics they went over, then made use of the time by filling out some important paperwork. Afterwards, Diavolo had managed to talk him into returning to the Demon Lord’s Castle for dinner, and had kept him there for quite some time with aimless chatter.

Though it wasn’t that he didn’t enjoy his time (even if he’d never admit that he did,) he was exhausted by the time he returned home. It was late enough that the entire House of Lamentation was still. Not a sound could be heard. Even when that fact made Lucifer feel uneasy, he figured it was just late enough that everyone was keeping to themselves. He stood at the entrance as he briefly considered visiting your room to see if you were in bed already, and to say goodnight if you weren't. Yet, he soon decided against it and turned through the halls to reach his own room instead.

When he arrived at his room, he felt a feeling in his gut telling him that something was off. He interpreted this feeling to mean something was wrong, and so he was immediately on guard, expecting another one of Satan and Belphegor’s lame tricks. He gripped the doorknob carefully, turning it slowly as he peered into the dark room.

His eyes immediately found you, lit by nothing but the candle on his bedside table. His first instinct was to be confused, although his guard was instantly lowered. What were you doing in his room? Was there something wrong with your own that made it uninhabitable? Perhaps Beel went on another one of his hunger-rampages, yet again destroying the kitchen and, consequently, your room as well. But why would you choose his room over anyone else’s to rest in?

Confusion turned into concern as he stood in the doorway, just staring, unsure. He stood there for a moment, not sure if he should disturb you. But eventually his feelings of concern and curiosity won over, and he walked over to kneel at your bedside.

His gloved hand reached out to shake your shoulder, even though he didn’t want to. He couldn’t help but think about how precious you looked, fast asleep, nestled in his bed. Of course, it wasn’t strange to see you relaxed, as time spent between the two of you was often spent in silence. But there was a special kind of feeling in his heart to see you so tranquil, without any sign of the stressors you faced.

Your eyes fluttering open brought him back from his thoughts, although he was distracted again only seconds later by the thought of how cute you were when you were sleepy.

Your half-lidded eyes ridden with fatigue focused on him after a few moments of rubbing them with your fist. Your gaze morphed to match his confusion, before it changed to realization, then embarassment.

“Oh, you're back already?” You asked, eyes darting around the room, “What time is it?"

“Quite late,” He responded, “Why are you sleeping here? Is there something wrong with your room?”

”No, it’s nothing like that. It’s just...” Your voice got quiet as you lowered your head, "’M sorry, Luci, I just missed you.”

In that moment, all Lucifer could do was thank himself for the years of training himself to be more reserved, more stoic. Otherwise it would’ve been utterly embarrasing to show just how flustered that made him feel.

"I was only gone for a few hours.” He responded, voice staying leveled despite the way his heartbeat began picking up, “You just saw me this morning.”

Your only response was to shrug, looking sheepish. He sighed, shaking his head at your strangeness. He wasn’t sure if he’d ever understand you. And yet, with every odd little thing you did, he couldn’t help but become even more endeared to you. Couldn’t help but to fall even deeper in love.

Did you know that you were doing this? Did you know your effect on him? Did you know that you had him so tightly wrapped around your finger? It felt strange, he felt strange. How could he have let his guard down so much to let a human worm their way into his heart? How did you make this happen?

He cleared his throat to dismiss the thoughts from his mind. You looked nervous, like his silence meant that he was going to scold you. Instead, he was so lost in swirling thoughts of affection that, in that moment, he could never dream of doing so. Scolding you meant that you would never pull somehting like this again. And deep, deep down, he knew that he wanted you to. Even every night, if you so wished.

“Very well,” He said, and he heard his own voice waver. He hoped you hadn’t noticed as he got back onto his feet. The movement drew your eyes up to him, and your face changed from nerves to confusion again. “I’ll go sleep in the study. Goodnight, MC.”

He made it one single step away from his bed before your hand reached out to grab at his wrist. His entire body tensed, put off by the sudden contact. He did his best to will his muscles to relax, not wanting to exhibit any weakness. It wasn’t anything against you, just a reflex rooted deep within him. He wanted to be vulnerable with you, but he found it so hard to allow himself that pleasure.

“Wait,” Your voice came from behind him. Lucifer still hadn’t turned around, but he could tell by the sound of your voice that you were pleading with him.

Please don’t, he begged to you within his own thoughts, please don’t make it more difficult then it needs to be.

“Will you stay?”

Your voice sounded so soft. So innocent.

His knees felt weak.

Please don’t tempt me, MC.

He tried to resist the urge to turn around, but very soon he lost that battle. It was an impossible one to win. Your voice was like a siren’s song. Your touch, even through his sleeve, felt irresitable to shun away.

He turned to gaze at you over his shoulder. The moment your eyes met, he knew the war was over. You had won.

“Fine,” Lucifer murmured, his voice filled with surrender, “ I will stay, only until you fall alseep.”

You nodded, a smile spreading across your lips. Pride swelled within him when he realized that he caused that smile. It was one of his favorite things to do, to see you smile, and he wished to see it in his every waking moment. And he always wanted to be the cause of it.

When did that become such a top priority for him?

You scooted over towards the other side of his massive bed, forcing him to sit as you pulled him along with you. Resigning to the force of you dragging him along, Lucifer kicked off his shoes and stretched his legs out in front of him. He rested his back against the headboard of his bed and settled in, though he didn’t plan to be there for long. Just until you fell asleep, then he would slip away to sleep in his study as orginally planned.

Except, he didn’t stop you as you came in closer. Didn’t stop you as you rested your head on his chest. Didn’t stop you from draping your arm over his waist. How could he? If you truly missed him that much, how could he stop you from indulging in this moment?

What’s worse, however, was that Lucifer didn’t stop himself from wrapping an arm around you; from pulling you impossibly closer. Didn’t stop himself from basking in your warmth, or in your weight on top of him. He thought he was strong, one of the strongest demons there was. He took pride in his ability to never crack under pressure. Took pride in how he had no weakness to speak of, or at least that he never showed such a thing. And yet, here you were, and he simply couldn’t resist your gentle urging. Couldn’t resist basking in your affection the moment he had it.

What were you really? Because Lucifer was no longer sure he would take “human” as an answer. You had to be something else. Something more.

He was lost in these thoughts, staring accusatory at the top of your head, when he felt a weight settle on his hand. His eyes darted towards the feeling, and found your hand placed gently atop his. His heart surged again.

“G’night, Luci,” You mumbled, voice muffled and words slurred. Before he could respond, he already knew you had fallen asleep. You’d used your last bit of energy for the day to wish him a pleasant night. And no doubt, it was a good night indeed.

“Goodnight, MC.” He said in response, even despite your unconciousness. Perhaps you could still hear him, deep in the dreamworld you were being sucked into.

Then, and only then, did he let his fingers wrap around your own. Once he was sure you were lost to the waking world. Only then could he bear to respond to such affections. And he didn’t let go, even though you were sleeping. Even though he promised himself he would leave.

Even as his eyes slid closed. And even as he recognized, as he too was drifting to sleep, that his neck would ache come morning due to his position. He didn’t care, though. Not if it meant he would be able to rest there and keep your hand safe in his.

It wasn’t until early, early morning that Mammon had returned to the House of Lamentation. He had been out all night at the casino, and had even won quite a big sum of grimm. This unusual luck even seemed to carry on, as he had managed to slip back into the house without drawing the attention of Lucifer. That was definitely an uncommon occurance.

Now that he thought of it, Mammon remembered his older brother mention something about being out late, but surely he’d be back by now? Maybe he was so tired from whatever boring buisness he had attented to that he was passed out and wouldn’t wake ‘til dawn, not even thinking to check on Mammon and his other brothers’ wareabouts. That was rather uncharacteristic of Lucifer, but Mammon didn’t want to look a gift horse in the mouth. He just won big, and he didn’t want to put a damper on that by seeking out trouble.

Still, Mammon didn’t want to be too loud, so he carefully tip-toed up the old stairs of the main hall and up to his room. He was exhausted after such an exciting night, and was looking forward to crashing. Maybe he’d even skip out on school the next day so he could catch up on his z’s.

As slow as possble, Mammon turned the doorknob to his room and pushed the door open. He held his breath the entire time, keenly aware that the room just beside his was Lucifer’s.

But eventually, he made it inside, and breathed out in relief. He flicked on the lights and welcomed the familiarity of the sight before him. The warming sight of his sanctuary. The place where he could escape from everything, even Lucifer. It was even better when you were there with him.

Speaking of, you looked so cute over there, snuggling your face against his pillows.

With a warm smile, Mammon headed towards his closet to get undressed for the night. He made it halfway across the room before he realized that you in his bed, snuggling his pillows was not a usual familiarity.

His entire body went stiff mid-step, like he was hit with a spell to freeze him in his tracks. His head slowly turned back towards his bed, expecting what he saw to be just a trick of the brain. Except it wasn’t. You were still there, his blanket draped over your hips. Your chest rose and fell slowly, and your face was burried in his pillow, your arms holding it tight to your chest.

Heart beating rapidly within the confines of his chest, he tip-toed once again, over to the bedside. He stared at you with widened eyes, wondering what kind of freaky trick this was. Maybe Lucifer really did find out that he was out and decided to cast some spell on his bed to play a cruel prank on him.

No, no, no, that didn’t make sense. Lucifer doesn’t pull cheap pranks like that. That sounds more like something Belphie and Satan would do. And even though he was often the target of ridicule from those two, he wasn’t often the victim of their tricks. All their best ones were reserved for Lucifer himself.

So then what was this? Surely, if he went downstairs to your room, the real you would be sleeping in your own bed? Maybe one of those cursed witches snuck in and cast a spell to try and trap him?

No, no, no, that doesn’t make sense either.... Lucifer would never let that happen. Mammon was safe here. You and his brothers were safe here too. Lucifer would never let an intruder in. So what was it?

Finally giving in, Mammon reached across the bed to touch your face. He barely let even his fingertips graze your cheek, but you felt so real. So warm. Was this really you after all?

Gently, either in fear that he would wake you, or in fear that whatever trap this was would be triggered, he settled down next to you. He kicked off his shoes and rested his back against the headboard, but he didn’t dare get underneath the covers. It made his heart race even faster, just the thought of sharing covers with you.

Then, he just sat there, unsure what to do. Should he try waking you? Just try and go to sleep? Why is his heart beating so damn fast?

His eyes flickered over to you. He tried to keep his gaze anywhere but you, but it was too hard. Too tempting to look at you resting beside him. In his bed.

He felt like a creep, but he couldn’t help how his eyes eventually became glued to you. Examining every detail of your face. He couldn’t even recall the last time he’d seen you look so... relaxed? Days were always so chaotic around here. Usually you were running around with him and his brothers, excited. Laughing that stupid laugh that made his heart soar, even when it was directed at him. Or you were stressed, worried about a dumb situation that someone got themselves into, or anxious about school.

Now you were just.... Calm. Your expression was quiet, unbothered. It was just precious how the corners of your lips were upturned in the gentlest of smiles. It was addicting to look at. Even more addicting then gambling, more addicting then making money. Somehow a stronger pull then the ever-present urge of greed deeply seeded in his heart.

Mammon swore in that moment that if the only thing he could ever do for the rest of his long life was lay there in bed with you and gaze at how sweet and serene you looked while you rested, he would gladly do it.

Mammon wasn’t really sure how long he sat there, yearning for you. He didn’t have the heart to wake you, and certainly didn’t have the desire to kick you out. So, he just sat there, so lost in it that he didn’t even notice your eyes flutter open. Didn’t notice how, as your blurry vision cleared, a look of confusion started to disturb the peace.

He thought maybe he was just hearing things, when your sleepy voice called out his name. It sounded so sweet to his ears that he figured it was too good to be true. But then he heard it again, and he snapped out of his little daydream to glance up and meet your gaze. Frightened by the realization that your eyes were open, Mammon jumped back and tumbled over the edge of his bed, landing with a thud on the floor.

He heard you gasp, but he was too occupied with the sudden pain in the back of his head, which he definitely hit in the fall. He rubbed his head, groaning in pain, a sense of embarassment washing over him. He could barely muster the courage to open his eyes and face you, but it was an instinctual response to do so the moment he could feel a presence looming over him.

You were leaning over the side of the bed to look at him, worry etched across your face. He scolded himself for ruining your calmness.

Still, he wanted to save face. He had to act cool in front of you. He couldn’t believe he had really just done that, scrambling over the edge of his bed like a moron. Of course, it wasn’t the first time he had made a fool of himself in front of you, and it defintely wouldn’t be the last. But he still couldn’t bare the thought. Maybe he could recover.

“What’re ya doin’ in my room?” Was all he could think to ask, forcing a look of annoyance onto his face. As if it were an inconveinence to have you here, and not the greatest relief.

The grin that replaced your concern made him worry. He didn’t like that face, that mischievious little smile. Lips which unspoken words rested on. “So we’re playing this game?” they seemed to quietly speak. Because even under his facade, you could read him so well.

“What were you doing staring at me?” You countered, only to watch his flustered state worsen. Mammon still tried to get a grip, though he knew he was only grasping at straws. You’d won this back and forth before it even began. You always do.

“Don’t turn this on me. This is my room yer in, ya know. Or did ya get lost?”

You chuckled, letting your shoulders rise and fall in a casual shrug.

“I didn’t get lost. I just missed you, is all.”

With those words, it felt like Cupid’s stupid arrow had just peirced his heart. As if Cupid’s stupid arrow hadn’t found him the moment he laid eyes on you. But at this point, Mammon felt as though an arrow shot him every chance it could, making him fall deeper and deeper with every hit. Every time you smiled, or every time you said something sweet to him. And so casually too. How could you say that so easily?

His eyes avoided yours. He couldn’t stand looking at you while his face warmed and his body trembled.

“Tch, I bet ya did. Probably missin’ me every second yer not with me,” He mocked, even when he knew for sure that it was the other way around.

You shrugged again. He wasn’t prepared for what that simple shrug heralded.

“Yeah, I am missing you all the time,” You confirmed, a sweet smile settling on your face. And even worse, you reached away from the bed to take his hand into yours, “so stop sneaking out without me so much.”

Once more, another arrow. Mammon swore this one almost did him in for real. Was he still breathing?

You laughed at his rigid posture, even as his hand tightened impossibly tight around yours.

“So are you just going to sleep down there, or are you going to come to bed already?”

He tsked again, but he still found it irresistable to say no. Finally he got off the floor, ashamed and avoiding your gaze, but never letting go of your grip.

He flicked off the switch beside his bed, and the room went dark once again. He felt a bit of courage now, not being able to see you as well. And so, he shucked off his jacked and slid back into bed, this time with his legs under the covers.

He cursed all that was sweet and holy when you rested your head on his chest and snuggled in close. Now there was no hiding just how fast you had his heart beating. Even if you knew, and he knew that you knew, he still wanted to hide it from you.

He was pretty sure you fell asleep almost immediately after, having still been half asleep when you coaxed him to join you. But he wasn’t so lucky, cursed to stay awake to feel you next to him. Cursed to listen to your soft breaths, cursed to feel the way you nuzzled against him insead of his pillow this time. Cursed to sit there and wonder just why it seemed so natural to have you in his bed. Cursed to stay up trying to convince himself that this was a curse and not a blessing.

He did eventually manage to sleep, and it was probably the most comforting rest he’d ever gotten, though he tried to deny it. Tried even to deny how happy he felt when he realized your weight was still against him as he woke. And even tried to deny the joy when he opened his eyes again, only to find you to be the one to stare at him this time.

“What’re ya doin’ starin’ at me?” He asked, parroting your words from the hours before. And though he tried to make himself sound upset, he didn’t have the heart to truly pull it off in his sleep addled state. Instead, he only sounded nervous, and his face let slip just how happy he was under your attention.

“Just enjoying the view,” You said, acompanied by yet another cursed shrug.

“Yer gonna be the death of me,” He swore, turning his head to hide his face in the pillows, “Yer gonna kill me one’a these days. Ya know that?”

Your giggle was music to his ears. He was never a morning person, but if that was what he got to wake up to in the mornings, he’d gladly learn to be.

“At least you’d die happy.”

And he would. It would be the sweetest death he could imagine.

You pulled away from Mammon, sitting up and stretching your arms over your head. His eyes dragged back over to follow your movements. He already missed the feeling of you against him. How is it that even now, with you still beside him, he missed your touch? Missed your pressence, missed the feeling of you?

Before you could even push the blanket from your legs he called out to you. Your eyes met, and he tried to keep a brave face as he sat up too.

He wasn’t sure what he was thinking, or if he even was. If you asked his brothers then they would say that Mammon never had a thought. At least not a decent one. And this moment was what convinced him that maybe they were right.

“Hey, uh, MC... How about ya come back tonight? Y’know, so we can do this again.”

The way your eyes widened made panic surge throughout his body, and it jolted him completely awake. What the hell was he doing, why would he ask that!?

Well, it wasn’t like he didn’t want that. But he couldn’t let you know he wanted that! What was wrong with him!?

Desperate to fix it, he backtracked.

“It’s not ‘cause’a what ya think! It’s not like I wanna keep sleepin’ with ya or anythin’! It’s just- it’s to keep ya safe, ya know! So I can make sure nothin’ happens to ya at night.”

Yeah, that’s it. He’s sure that he’s got you fooled, even after the terrible display of stuttered words and averted eye contact. Even after your unconvinced expression, he convinces himself that it worked. Still, he had to add the cherry on top, just to make sure

“I mean it! As your first demon, it’s my job to protect ya. Thats it, so don't go getting any ideas!”

But you knew better. And so did he.

[rosesnbooks]

Virgo placements

Sun-kind people who often watch out for their manners and are very thoughtful. they try to live their life peacefully and because they tend to overthink much, they try to create a creative environment where they can relax and explore their minds and different things. they like to be in control and they dislike people who boss them around and don’t care about being respectful. they aren’t as easy to read as people may think because they keep a lot to themselves and only open up when they think it’s safe. even then, there are some mysteries that are locked in their hearts. this placement is tricky because i’ve learned it’s better not to generalize; for example, not all of them are hard-working and detailed. i think it depends on what is important to them and if that’s school they’ll study a lot. if it’s more hobbies-related, they’ll spend most of their time on these. therefore, it depends on their values. a lot of them feel overwhelmed with their mind and the world, so they need lots of peace and alone time. they appreciate people who know how to discuss various topics and those who are funny. they might have been a bit naive as kids because they thought people were as honest and respectful as them, and then they learned the truth the hard way. despite being harsh on others sometimes, they want people who are reasonable and kind because deep down they want to be taken care of (since they try most of their time to make sure everyone else is happy and safe). they are creative, curious, practical but there is a fun side to them as well. put them in any situation and even if they experience lots of stress sometimes, they manage to finish everything in time (and well). there is a balance that allows them to focus on the more practical talents and those that are more philosophical and emotional. they have it all. they can get stuck in their own ways, so keeping an open mind and exploring different things and meeting new people could help them grow a lot. needless to say, they can worry a lot so finding ways to talk about it and process it is necessary (*coughs* therapy and writing *coughs*) lastly, some of them might have had periods in their life when they were seen as selfish because they only took care of their needs

Moon-these people are extremely curious about everything. once they are focused on something, they won’t stop for hours and hours until they have finished. they tend to procrastinate sometimes, but they are thorough with their work. they can be really kind because they are often calm and sensitive, and they pay attention to you and remember things you say. however, if they’re feeling too stressed, they kind of drift away and their emotions get the best of them. they can worry a lot and they put a lot of pressure on themselves to fulfill their own expectations. they overthink a lot and they analyze everything to the last detail! they care about people and they want to be helpful to the ones they love. whenever you contact them for help, they’ll do everything in their power to help you. they are very careful about everything they do, so taking risks does not come lightly to them, but they do it anyway. they can be so sweet and those they love feel seen and cared for around them. their moms can be strict, organized, and detailed so they expect their child to behave this way which may cause pressure. they tend to be introverted because they analyze a lot and need alone time to process things and relax. their hobbies mean a lot to them. anxiety can be an issue for them (sending hugs). even if they get annoyed with you because of some small issues, you won’t be able to tell easily. you’ll know it if you truly cross a line.

Rising/ascendant-they often look kind, attentive, down-to-earth, and smart, possibly even calm most of the time. they can smile a lot and they like to look presentable. their style is either really colorful and bold or more minimalistic and put-together. depends on the other elements in their chart. for example, if they have fire placements, their outfits attract more attention. they either look really soft or a bit edgier and scarier to approach. nevertheless, if you’re respectful toward them, expect a lovely response from them. they like talking to people a lot but they like to spend time alone as well. some of them look a bit nervous for whatever reason which reflects in the way they hold themselves and speak a bit over the place. they often exercise or think about their health, sometimes even to an unhealthy amount. they prefer working alone. this placement likes to feel needed and they try to help others. they care about the stories of individuals and they have lots of empathy. they can be charming, but you’ll see their true personality once they’ve made up their minds about your character. they can be perfectionists toward themselves and others at their worst: even judge how others look and behave. they are very logical and smart! unless they have water/fire placements, they can be slightly clueless about people’s emotions and even their own. they are really responsible individuals. they need to work more on trusting their intuition. 

Mercury-they tend to be very blunt and honest. if you’re kind to them, they try to be more careful with their words. they are highly intellectual and super smart, and often gifted in different fields. their problem-solving skills and creativity are high. expressing themselves with words is something that fulfills them and helps with their mental health. they are sensitive, no matter the reputation they try to uphold, and they can be harsh if you hurt them intentionally. like seriously, they will hit you where it hurts. they usually have an excellent memory, unless they’re really stressed (headaches are possible and weaker memory). keeping lists helps them feel less chaos in their daily life and they like making them. you can count on them to give you reasonable and practical advice, especially if they have water placements as well because they learn to balance logic and emotions. sometimes it is hard for them to feel satisfied with things if they don’t look/behave the way they envisioned it. they can be amazing at what they do, but until they reach the level they imagined, it is hard for them to like it, which can be silly and exhausting because nothing can be perfect, and they’re really talented anyway. it can be hard for them to do anything in pairs or groups because they like doing things their own way, even if they think you’re smart and capable. it just saves them a lot of stress. they remember everything you say and might even write down some of your funny “gems”. they hate small-minded people. lastly, they are extremely funny. 

Venus-they definitely don’t jump from relationship to relationship because they don’t trust people that easily and they want to protect their peace. they tend to like intellectual and mysterious people that are secretly really kind to those selected few. they can fantasize a lot about love, trust me they are not as cold as they may seem sometimes, but they care a lot about practicality and stability at the end of the day so they won’t settle for anyone who doesn’t meet such criteria. they also want someone who is a good conversationalist. if they notice that you’re mean and fake, they’ll force themselves to move on and succeed. their love languages are often acts of service and words of affirmation (if not the latter then quality time). for example, they will cook you delicious food or clean the entire apartment, or buy you snacks from the store unexpectedly. they put a lot of thought into their gifts too. they will observe you attentively to realize what you like and dislike, and make sure you feel loved. they are calm most of the time so it’s comfortable to be around them. if someone hurts the people they love, they lose that peace quickly. they are modest and don’t ask for too much, but don’t ever take them for granted. cleanliness is of utmost importance to them. similarly to virgo moon, they will offer their help to you whenever you need it. they may be too judgmental sometimes though, which can create lots of tension and insecurity if they don’t keep it under check. they don’t tend to approach their love interests first because they can be very shy in the beginning. they will analyze you and look at you when you’re not aware of it. they need someone who will assure them that they love them very much! honestly the whole flirting part stresses them out lol, they just want to skip that and enter a healthy relationship

Mars-i don’t know anyone with this placement so i will write what i have learned over the years. these individuals are very organized, even if they are the only ones who know how to approach their “organized” environment. they pay attention to detail and they aren’t afraid to put the necessary work. they need to take care of themselves though because once they are focused, they can overlook their needs. bringing snacks and drinking loads of water is a must. severe perfectionists who tend to be harshly critical, especially if they think you’re lazy and disrespectful. when they take care of themselves, they pay attention to what their bodies need so they work out and meal prep. they work to keep their emotions under check and take pride in that, so if they let themselves snap around you, this means you’ve done something really bad. they work well in a clean and organized environment and can’t function properly in messy places and with overly chaotic people. they are talented with their hands because they can be precise, patient, and creative! that’s why many like arts and crafts, gardening, cooking, etc. they are a mutable sign after all, so they can actually adapt to any environment and try to tame it. changes scare them immensely but they also crave it, it’s a complex relationship.they succeed in things most of the time, so their work is highly appreciated. i think they need people who aren’t too sensitive and aggressive, and they need to be attentive, smart, and kind. their silly and funny side comes out when they are surrounded with these people and this takes their mind out of things. they have a strong sense of duty and they like to plan things ahead

Saturn-practical, hard-working, detail-oriented, perfectionists, a bit selfish and insensitive sometimes. it’s not easy for them to open up and talk about their emotions, but they need to learn that just like everyone else. when they’re upset they can become small and let their thoughts dictate their well-being and self-image. they can put themselves under lots of pressure until they crack. finding balance between relaxing and working diligently is important. they understand empathy, but sometimes it is hard for them to understand others and getting out of their bubble will help with that. they can also isolate a lot when hurt. having hobbies and a good support system ironically helps them to achieve their practical goals, as well as relax and have more fun. everybody needs people in their lives to a certain degree. they are very observant and people can rely on them! if they get stuck in their ways, it takes them more time to experience more novelty and progress than for the regular person. they can be easily annoyed when things (and people) don’t act the way they want them to. they need to be more patient and give people a chance. they can be too realistic, but honestly more on the pessimistic side. they also need to work more on their spiritual side because it can be very rewarding once they figure out what they believe in and it can bring them more peace and love. they need to rely on others more and accept others and themselves with all their faults and virtues. this is also true for saturn in the 6th house

Jupiter-at their best, they can use their attention to detail and practical nature to excel at their work and form meaningful relationships with others. instead of being overly-critical, they respect everyone’s differences and build a love language that lets people know just how much they love and appreciate them. their wisdom that grows steadily as they grow older is admirable. they can give lots of good advice and be there for others in need (which can be used for work as well). they could promote a healthier lifestyle and urge others to do the same. super humble individuals who don’t need lots of money or glory to feel happy. their wise nature could produce contagious  optimism because they learn to value life and the smallest things, and learn to deal with small issues that can annoy the non-developed virgos. spiritual growth is also a huge possibility!! they take care of themselves and others, and they know when to stand up for what they believe in, especially in the face of injustice. they learn a lot and nurture their intellectual nature, and they experience lots of self-improvement. their self-awareness can be amazing. they think before they speak and know how to respect others. they are very adaptable and know how to handle any situation. basically, they are very well-balanced

🍄‍🟫Disclaimer: i am not a professional and i do this for fun. these are my observations i've gathered over the years 🍄‍🟫

©rosesnbooks

[mindfulstudyquest]

❥﹒♡﹒☕﹒𝘀𝘁𝘂𝗱𝘆 𝘁𝗶𝗽𝘀 𝘁𝗵𝗮𝘁 𝗮𝗰𝘁𝘂𝗮𝗹𝗹𝘆 𝗺𝗮𝗸𝗲 𝗺𝗲 𝗽𝘂𝘁 𝗺𝘆 𝗮𝘀𝘀 𝗼𝗻 𝗮 𝗰𝗵𝗮𝗶𝗿 𝗮𝗻𝗱 𝘀𝘁𝘂𝗱𝘆

organization: i know it's the most trivial advice in the world, but i swear it works. before doing anything, i take my planner and review everything i have to do, i divide the study by subject, amount of things to study and review spaces for exams. realistically, you can't expect to do it all in one day, but a good plan could almost allow you to sleep at night!

a clean workspace: i can't fucking concentrate if there's a mess aroud me, i get distracted easily, even by dust, so before i start studying i always deep-clean my desk. i know that not everyone can afford a personal and quiet place to study in their houses, so try to find yourself a small angle where you can really focus.

go to study in a library / café: i didn't believe it at first, but it's actually useful. if you have the opportunity to go to a library or a café after school ( or near your house ) do so. being surrounded by people who are studying like you really helps to focus, you'll be less inclined to get distracted and procastinate. i would feel uncomfortable using my phone in a library with other people who are doing their work while i'm sitting there scrolling on tumblr.

breaks: ik ik, not very blair waldrof, hermione granger, spencer hastings, rory gilmore of me, isn't it? but is it worth it. sometimes i end up having really bad headaches from studying and, even if i keep studying, the quality of my work decreases significantly. breaks are fundamental. i would not recommend using social networks for your beak, because they litteraly drain your attention, rather do your skincare, prepare yourself a snack ( eating is important! it's what makes you focus ), read 10 pages of your book, dance a little bit in your room, do stretching, go outside and buy some mint chewingum, something like that.

EAT!: girls, boys and theys, we know. i honestly think that almost every person that craves academic validation ends up developing a sort of eating disorder. it's not even the food, is the fact that you are too busy studying that you forget to eat, ignoring stomach cramps, or the fact that you didn't get that answer right and now you don't feel like you deserve the lunch. i understand bc i AM like this, like you. but think about it: you need to do it in order to survive ( but this is secondary to the grades, right? ) and to keep your brain active. you can't walk around with blurred vision because you haven't eaten or drunk for fourteen continuous hours. i swear that eating like a normal human being helps you to keep going.

sleep: same thing as eating, but with our terrible sleeping schedules. i know that school is toxic so we end up finishing our homeworks at 2 am everyday ( if we're lucky ) but when you have the chance, take a nap and recover.

repeat things as if you were explaining them to someone: this is litterally the fastest way ever to learn fundamental concepts when you're studying. imagine that you're talking to a friend that doesn't know anything about the subject that you're studying and try to explain the topic to them. finding simple words for a difficult topic will help you understand it thoroughly, on this basis you can then build an articulated and more academic speech. repeat things out loud, doesn't matter if you look crazy, you already are <3

check and organize your notes the same day: i never have time to take proper notes in class, so i review them as soon as possible, with the lesson still fresh in mind. it really helps me understand the subject and makes the further study much easier.

watch youtube videos: youtube is my favourite class. sometimes teachers are dumber than students and you, who don't have a degree in that subject and are tackling a topic for the first time, don't understand a damn thing. ofc not!! sometimes professors are terrible at explaining stuff, but fazal from pakistan isn't. i passed my physics class with a 10/10 thanks to an indian guy on youtube. documentaries and yt videos are a simple and nice way to understand better topics and do insights for extra credits.

delete social media: i'm gonna do another post specifically for this.

"STUDY!" wallpaper: last but not least, the dumbest yet the smartest advice, set as lockscreen a white / black / whatever background with a big fat "STUDY!" written on it. everytime you're about to pick up your phone and procastinate the wallpaper will scold you.

hope this was useful or at least fun to read byee

[valiantstarlights]

Which Hob Gadling Are You? Quiz

Instructions: Get a pen and paper (or open your notes app) to keep track of your answers and scores. Select one response and add +1 to your tally. At the end, the letter with the most number of tally marks is your result. There are 8 possible results, as there are 8 versions of Hob. Enjoy! 😊✨

--

1.) How well do you flirt?

Not sure. There's no one to flirt with. (A)

Fucking terrible. (G)

Not trying, not interested. (E)

Somewhat of a disaster, but I'd like to think there's hope for me. (B)

Not sure. I think I'm decent at it, but... (C)

I'm often not sure if I'm being flirted with, but if the person is my type, then I'll do my best to flirt back! (H)

I know what I'm doing, and hopefully it's my date tonight. ;) (F)

Honestly? I'm at a point in my life where I don't care if I'm good at flirting or not. (D)

2.) How much do you wanna fuck/get fucked by your date?

0% - Not right now. I have other priorities. (E)

25% - I'm not actively thinking about it, but if they're interested, then I'm game. (B and D)

50% - Why not? My date is super hot and I'm very interested in them. But if they're not in the mood, then that's fine, too. (H and C)

75% - Look, I'm making an Effort here. It would be nice if my date could show some interest. (G and A)

100% - OH HECK YEAH (F)

3.) Finish the sentence: "How..."

did you know that I'd still be here? (B)

long should I wait? (A)

did you know my name? (H)

wonderful to see you again. (D)

the hell did I fuck that up? (C)

rude! (G)

do you want me? ;) (F)

much longer until my order gets here? (E)

4.) Pick one word from the list:

Life (E)

Patience (A)

Change (F)

Courage (H)

Wonder (B)

Contentment (D)

Friendship (C)

Prosperity (G)

5.) Do you hate Shakespeare?

Ugh. Do we have to talk about him? I have more important things to worry about. (E)

I'm so glad you asked. Here, make yourself comfortable. I have a 6 hour presentation on why he sucks. (D)

I'd rather read a phonebook. (A)

I don't know who that is. (B)

(sighs) If I say no, will you leave me alone? (C)

THAT FUCKING BASTARD (G)

I watched one of his plays. Still think he's overrated, though. (F)

What's a shake spear? Is that a weapon or something? (H)

6.) How likely are you to say stupid shit?

Everything I say is stupid shit. (G)

Only when I'm drunk. (H)

I have no filter, so... (B)

I'd like to think I have learned not to be so careless. (E)

Fuck! I thought I had it! Apparently not. Gods motherfuck I'm never speaking again. (C)

I'm trying, okay? I really am. (F)

I said stupid shit once and I regret it until now. (A)

Very likely. Just wait and see. Any second now. (D)

--

YES OR NO QUESTIONS: If your answer is yes, +1 to the letter indicated.

7.) Do you believe in love at first sight? (H)

8.) Do you get excited over things/topics that others consider boring? (B)

9.) Are you content with the life you have right now? (G)

10.) Do you still feel hopeful, despite the horrors? (E)

11.) Are you always DTF (Down To Fight)? (F)

12.) Have you ever fallen in love with a friend? (C)

13.) Would you wait/Have you waited for hours for your friend/s to arrive? (A)

14.) Are you willing to wait however long it takes for the love of your life to appear in your life? (D)

--

15.) BONUS: Which is your favorite Hob?

1389 (H)

1489 (B)

1589 (G)

1689 (E)

1789 (F)

1889 (C)

1989 (A)

2022 (D)

--

RESULTS:

Mostly A's = 1989 Hob

Mostly B's = 1489 Hob

Mostly C's = 1889 Hob

Mostly D's = 2022 Hob

Mostly E's = 1689 Hob

Mostly F's = 1789 Hob

Mostly G's = 1589 Hob

Mostly H's = 1389 Hob

[feyd-meowtha]

taps the mic. hilly what are your thoughts on the nature of feydpaul asking for a friend (the friend is me)

No strong feelings really... Pretty impartial ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ 

Unless we're talking about the fact that they're narrative foils, they're star-crossed lovers. They're polar opposites, they're the same person. They were born to either kill one another or give birth to the most important child who ever lived. Neither of them has ever had a real friend their own age and they didn't even know enough about normal childhoods to mourn not having them. I almost never think about the complex elements of gender present in the fated relationship in a boy with the powers of a female witch, who was supposed to be born a girl, and another boy with pouty lips whose favourite weapon is poison (famously a feminine choice) and wears flares and leotards and lives under the thumb of a powerful, abusive older man.

I especially almost never ponder the fact that one of them tried to kill the other in the most Freudian imaginable possible way - cunty secret poison hip knife - because that simply has no strange and interesting implications which I could theorise about for hours over a bottle of japanese whiskey. The symbolism of penetration and killing thing Vs as bringer of new life, especially in the insanely penetration obsessed world of Dune. (Knives and breeding programmes and worms, whole topic in itself for sure)

It also means nothing to me when I think of they ways in which they were so uniquely isolated. Both having members of their families killed and being thrust into positions where ambition and power seem like the only way to keep themselves alive and sane and safe. It means nothing to me when I consider that no-one in Feyd's life ever genuinely loved him, probably not up until his death, not even Frank Herbert who never even bothered to bring him up again after the first book. I never think about the ways both of their families decay and crumble after they're gone, their children either suffering bizarre fates or disappearing. How even their legacies are bloody and stained.

Never before have life and death and fate and trauma and power and hope and destruction (both of the self and the other) been so entwined in characters with less interaction, and as you can see .... I really have no opinions on it one way or another.

Plato said this about them and it makes me feel really normal, actually.

(thank you for asking - as you can see, they make me deeply unwell and I haven't had a full nights sleep since the second movie came out. Living the dream wouldn't change a thing <3)

[arlana-likes-to-write]

oh god i think i have an idea for kate x yelena x reader??

maybe something before the 3 kids?

(i was on twitter the other day and i read about people saying the importance of feeling represeted in fics, and i thought about this lately, so uhm from my pov, i would like to uhm propose like a reader with maybe selfharm addiction??? maybe reader doesn't say that she relapsed because kate and yelena have other thoughts like missions and mission reports and hard training and she do not want to be a burden??? but like she doesn't realize that she matters more than all those things to Kate and Yelena and almost towards the end reader can no longer hold the weight inside and one evening she confesses it to them??? gosh this is a lot i know lol

(I HAVE TOTALLY NO IDEA IF YOU WRITE ABOUT THIS TOPICS if not im sorry for the request but this is something that is stuck with me but im getting better, so yeah sorry)

Take My Hand

This is a prequel to Domestic Life but can be read as a standalone.

Warning: mention of past and current self-harm, online bulling, self deprecating thoughts, poor self image, implied sexual content (Kate and Yelena are down bad for their girlfriend), pet names (princess; baby, babygirl)

Breathe. Breathe. Take five breaths in and five out. Your hands shook every time you passed your brush through your hair. The only sound your brain was registering was the music Kate demanded to play so you all could get ready. There was a party at the Avenger Tower; some active Avengers were invited, along with politicians and other top-dog individuals in the city. You weren’t worried about that. You spent so many years in customer service that you could talk to anyone smoothly. It was the media that worried you.

The world knew that Kate and Yelena were dating; they were among the most talked about couples behind Natasha and Maria. You’ve spent hours scrolling through blogs created for them where random people reposted pictures and kept updated on every aspect of their lives. It was a little weird. It was always Yelena and Kate, Hawkeye and the White Widow for a few years. Recently, they’ve hinted at a third in their relationship that many blogs caught on to. That third was you, and for the past five months, the two superheroes kept you out of the public eye. They wanted to keep you to themselves. Everything changed now that Kate wanted to take you on dates.

You were anxious. Compared to the likes of the Avengers, you were a no-one. Just a small-town girl who got lucky their car broke down in your town.

Suddenly, Kate’s arms wrapped around your waist and pulled you flush to her chest. “Where did your mind run off to, Princess?” Her chest rumbled after each word, and her lips tickled you underneath your ear.

“Just,” you giggled. “It’s nothing. Don’t worry about it.” You tried to escape, but Kate held you tighter and rubbed soothing circles onto your skin.

“Princess,” she warned. “You know the rules.” In your opinion, it was a stupid rule, but you knew it was to foster better communication between you three.

“Just nervous,” you answered honestly. Kate nodded your head and hummed in agreement.

“So am I,” she admitted. You looked at her in shock. “I am,” she smiled. “Everyone is going to see how much hotter and cooler my girlfriend is than me, and they are going to convince her to leave me,” she looked directly at you, so you knew who she was talking about. With a roll of your eyes, you faced back towards the mirror.

“You are such a dork, Bishop,” you mumbled.

“I’m telling the truth,” she turned around slightly but still had her arms on you. “Yelena,” she called out. “Tell our girl she’s the prettier one out of the three of us.” How Kate called you ‘our girl’ made you feel warm and fuzzy. Through the mirror, you saw the blonde appeared in the doorway. She decided on a green cocktail dress that matched the color of her eyes. She smiled at you.

“I am ready to keep the vultures off of her,” she said. “Because she is ours.” It was ridiculous. The so-called vultures would be after your girlfriends, and you would have to fight them away. Still, you believed them. It was the way they looked at you, the way they touched you. You never felt more loved.

*

The party was going well. You mingled with team members you saw less frequently and listened to some of the politicians on their upcoming policies. You preferred talking to the Avengers over them. At first, one of your girlfriends stayed with you, but you ensured they enjoyed themselves.

So you were standing with Maria, nursing a drink that Yelena made for you. The blonde had a heavy pour when it came to her bartending skills. Maria told you a story about Yelena and Natasha; somehow, the blonde’s white suit accidentally turned pink when it was Natasha’s turn to do laundry. The sudden smirk on the agent’s face gave your girlfriend away. Kate moved behind you, and you could smell the alcohol on her breath. “Ignore me,” she whispered. “Pretend I’m not here and keep having your conversation.” That was easier said than done, but Maria kept talking, and you tried to focus on it.

Sober Kate was touchy and flirty but knew when to dial it back in public. Drunk Kate was a completely different beast. Her one goal was to make you a flustered mess. She was doing it now. “You look so good,” she mumbled, and goosebumps formed on your skin. “Fuck, I wanna rip this top off and fuck you right here,” you took a sip of your drink to hide the whimper that threatened to escape. “I want everyone here to know you are ours. Too many of these pigs have their eyes all over you.” She was how when she got jealous and possessive.

“Detka,” you weren’t sure when Maria was replaced with Yelena. Her hand was on your chin, and her fingers were cold. A shiver went down your spine. “Are you okay?” You nodded.

“Kate is drunk and horny,” you smiled and ignored the gasp the archer let out. Yelena let out an amused chuckle and leaned closer to your lips.

“I can say I am not surprised with how good you both look,” you watched her green eyes darken before she kissed your lips. Kate let out a breathy groan.

“Would it be inappropriate to leave now?” The archer asked. “I need you both.” You giggled against Yelena’s lips.

“I think we’ve shown our face long enough,” it was all the consent Kate needed before dragging you to the elevator. You pretended to ignore every Avenger’s knowing looks.

Delete Created with Sketch.

A week had passed since the party, and you made it your mission to stay off social media. You focused on your job, studies, and relationship with Yelena and Kate. Everything felt great. When you entered the break room, a few coworkers suddenly stopped talking. “What?” You asked as you opened the fridge to put your lunch in. “Do I have a hickey on my neck again?” Kate left one on your neck when she refused to let you go to work. Your coworkers had a field day for the next few days after.

“No hickey this time,” Tina said with her phone in her hand. “We saw this online and thought you had the right to know.” You took her phone, and you stared at a blog. It was a picture from the party which you’ve seen before. Natasha sent it to you, and you made it your lock screen. Yelena stood in front of you with Kate hanging onto your back. The blonde’s finger was on your chin, and her lips barely touched yours.

“It’s a cute picture of the three of you,” Tina said. Your coworkers knew of your relationship with the two Avengers. It was hard to keep it a secret from them when Kate and Yelena liked to surprise you at work. “It’s the comments we were reading.”

Curiosity killed the cat, right? That was the only part of the phrase people remembered. A part of you knew better to read them. The opinions of random people online did not matter, but you were curious about what your coworkers read. So you scrolled down.

It was nice to see some positive comments. They liked how happy Kate and Yelena seemed. They said you fit in well with them. But it was the negative comments that outweighed the good. To the comments, you were a whore, a homewrecker, a slut, and they could not understand what Kate and Yelena saw in you. They picked at every flaw they saw in the picture.

You handed the phone back to Tina. “You know what they say,” Tina smiled. “Those who pick on others are just jealous and self-conscious of themselves.”

“Right,” you said. “Now, enough gossip,” you teased. “Let’s get to work.”

*

When you entered your shared apartment, it was quiet. Not even the dogs were home to greet you. On any other day, you would be sad that you were alone, but you needed the tie to get your head on straight before everyone returned home.

You went into the bathroom, stripped out of your work uniform, and stepped into the shower. The water ran hot, and you watched your skin turn red from the temperature. When your body was clean, you stepped out of the shower with a towel wrapped around you. You wiped the condensation off the mirror and stared at your reflection.

Maybe the comments were correct. You could stand to lose weight, eat a little better, or change how you dress. The constant battle of your self-image was something you struggled with your entire life. You weren’t the most popular, prettiest, or smartest in high school. Your family lived paycheck to paycheck, so that you couldn’t afford the name-brand clothes. Every day, you compared yourself to those around you, and those on top of the social hierarchy smelt out of your weakness.

They added to your deteriorating self-image. You felt out of control as you slipped deeper and deeper into the abyss. You needed to get control back. One night, when your mother was at work, you took a razor to the thighs and watched the blood form at the surface. It scared you at first, seeing you bleed by your hand. You promised it would never happen again. But it was a habit you could not easily break when it was the only thing to release the pressure on your chest.

The pressure was back. You entered your shared bedroom and pulled out a small gift box from your Black Widow girlfriend. Inside was a knife with her and Kate’s initials carved into the hilt. Before your rational mind took over, you dragged the blade across the top of your thigh. With each cut you made, the pressure was less, and your mind was less dark.

*

You glanced up from the couch when the apartment door opened. The pup’s feet running against the wood made you smile. It was your only warning before a one-eyed golden retriever jumped on top of you. The air was pushed out of your lungs as he covered your face with kisses. “Lucky, stop!” You laughed and tried to push him off. “Get off!”

“Alright, don’t suffocate her,” Kate pulled the dog off of you and wiped the drool off your face with a towel. “Missed you today,” the archer mumbled and bent down to kiss you. You would welcome her lips on your any other day, but today, they felt wrong. The kiss turned your stomach.

“Missed you too,” you said. Kate moved your legs, sat down, and placed them on her lap. The sudden movement caused the fabric of your sweatpants to rub against the bandages. You winced, but both of your girlfriends missed it except Fanny. The American Akita was watching you closely. “I ordered food from that Thai place. I didn’t feel like cooking,” you went back to doom scrolling on your phone and missed the look between Kate and Yelena.

“Is everything okay, dorogoy?” You heard Yelena ask from the kitchen. You hummed in response, barely paying attention to what Yelena asked.

“Hey,” you were surprised by your phone being ripped out of your hands by the blonde. The Russian ignored the pout on your lips and put your phone on the table out of reach. “That was mean.”

“No, what is mean is that there is something wrong, and you are not telling us,” Yelena knelt by your head. “We have this rule for a reason, detka,” you looked at the archer, hoping your other girlfriend would save you. She stayed quiet but squeezed your thighs for support. You huffed, threw your head back, and felt tears burn at the corner of your eyes.

“It’s stupid,” you said. “Work just sucked, and both of you deal with much bigger problems than mine and-” Yelena quieted you with a gentle hand on your cheek as she pushed away your tears.

“Never think your problems at work are less than ours because we do different things,” the blonde said. “They are still important.”

“Besides,” you turned your attention to Kate, a playful smile on her face. “I could never be as polite and nice to some of the assholes you deal with,” she was able to make you smile. “Baby girl, you are a saint in your work.” You rolled your eyes and wiped away some of your tears.

“Do you want me to get you some food, and we can cuddle on the couch?” Yelena snapped her fingers. “We can watch the show with the talking dog and his high human?” You titled your head and narrowed your eyes at the blonde.

“Do you mean Scooby-Doo?” You questioned.

“Yes!” Yelena smiled. “Come, Kate Bishop, help me with food,” the Black Widow dragged the archer to the kitchen. You chuckled and reached for your phone.

Yes, work sucked, so you told the truth. Your mood turned as soon as you read those comments. The half-truth tasted bitter in your mouth. But this was your problem to fix. Yelena and Kate were Avengers, and you were a nobody.

*

“Princess, where are you going?” Kate asked from her spot on the couch. You were putting on your sneakers and placing a leash on Lucky.

“Taking Lucky for a walk. I’ll be right back.”

“It’s Sunday,” she said very slowly. “It’s not your day,” you shrugged.

“Just want to stretch my legs,” you said. “I’ll be back.” You felt the apartment before Kate could say another word. You used the stairs to warm up, stretching as you went down. You broke into a slow jog when you hit the sidewalk.

It was a new addition to your routine. Sometimes, you wake up early or stop by the gym after work. Some nights, you skipped on your sweet treat. If your girlfriends noticed the change and were worried about it, they kept it to themselves.

You were making progress, but you still cringed when you saw yourself naked compared to your girlfriends. Every flaw you saw was heightened, and you felt disgusted by yourself. Each time those thoughts entered your mind, the only way they left was when the blade came out and moved against your flesh.

The guilt was suffocating, and you wanted to climb into your girlfriend’s arms to forget all of your problems. But the dark voices in your head overpowered every rational thought.

*

“That was good,” Wanda said. “Why don’t we call it there?” You felt gross with the sweat dripping down your back, and your muscles ached. Training with Wanda was making faster progress than on your own. There was a deadline. With another gala happening in 2 weeks, you wanted to look better. You needed to look better for your mental health. You shook your head.

“I can keep going,” you said, stretched out of your sides, and took a deep breath. You needed to keep going.

“Breaks are good,” Wanda said. “They help your body recover and prevent injuries.” Logically, you knew she was right. Your body wasn’t used to this training, and you needed to work up your strength and endurance. But your mind was too dark to think logically. She saw you as weak and lesser, just like everyone else in those comments. This was a mistake. You weren’t an Avenger; you were just a nobody who got lucky. Wanda must have thought you were pathetic.

“Yeah,” you forced a smile. “Sounds good. Same time tomorrow,” you left the training area and headed for Yelena and Kate’s room before she could say anything else.

*

“Kate Bishop, give me the cup,” Yelena reached for the smoothie cup, but the archer held it above her head out of reach.

“No!” The archer laughed at the pout on the blonde’s face. “She asked me to make her workout smoothie, and you will put healthy stuff in it. She deserves a sweet treat!” The sound of Wanda’s laughter forced the archer to look away.

“Are you going to help me, Maximoff, or just stand there?” Yelena asked. The witch shook her head.

“I am not getting involved with this. But,” she sat in the empty seat. “I think you both need to check on your other half.” The duo turned serious when she mentioned that you and Kate had placed the cup on the counter.

“Was she hurt?” Kate asked, and her anxiety only lessened slightly when Wanda shook her head.

“Not exactly, but I would go check on her,” Wanda sighed. “I didn’t do it on purpose, but my powers wandered into her mind during the workout. They weren’t very nice thoughts about her image.” Yelena sighed.

“I knew we should have confronted her about this,” the blonde said. “She has been off since we had that Thai food,” Wanda left the couple and told them that if they needed anything, they should come get her. Kate put her hands on her hips.

“It must be bad if she hid it from us. We have that rule.”

“We must be smart about this and get our girl back.”

*

It was only a matter of time before they came to find you. You were sloppy around Wanda and let your thoughts get too loud. You had time to take a shower, change into comfy clothes, and sit on the edge of the bed. Picking at the skin of your thighs helped as it was unwise to take the blade you hid in your side of the dresser. The action was mindless and soothing. You missed the door opening, and Kate grabbed your hands. “Hi, Princess,” the archer whispered. “Are you here with us?” You felt Yelena sit down next to you.

“Yeah, I’m here,” you whispered, and your head fell onto Yelena’s shoulder. “I’m tired.” The blonde hummed in agreement.

“You have been hiding something from us, data,” the blonde softly spoke. “You might feel better if you told us the truth,” you closed your eyes as you felt tears form in them.

“It’s so stupid,” you said. “I’m so stupid.”

“Hey,” you opened your eyes to look at Kate. “Don’t talk about my girlfriend like that. I think she is brilliant and beautiful.” You smiled at the goofy look on her face. Sighing, you knew it was the right thing to do. Everything felt so heavy.

“A week after the Stark party, a picture of the three of us circled one of those Avenger blogs that report on you,” you took a deep breath in and out. “My coworkers found it and showed me. Some of the comments were awful towards me. They highlighted everything I hated about myself.”

“Why did you not tell us about this?” Yelena asked. She tried to mask the hurt in her voice, but you heard it. You never wanted to hurt them by hiding this.

“I worried if I told you, you would see that they saw and leave me,” you admitted. “I wanted to fix what was broken before you saw it. I am a nobody compared to you.” You angrily wiped your face.

“Princess, take my hand,” you gave one hand to Kate and the other to Yelena. “Nothing about you is broken. Those assholes are jealous and spiteful,” you knew that. You knew that from the beginning.

“But,” Yelena pushed loose hair out of your face and kissed your forehead. “Our mind is our biggest enemy, right?” You nodded. “You are our missing piece. We are whole because of you.”

“But I’m not an Avenger or a hero or—” Kate hushed you gently, moving her thumb across her lips.

“We don’t want you to be a hero,” The archer said firmly. “We want and need you to be you because you are a constant reminder of life outside of fighting and Avenging.”

“You are the reason we come home after every mission,” Yelena added, kissing the tears that fell down your cheek.

“We need you, baby,” Kate smiled. “And we will remind you every day.” She kissed the scars on your thighs, and the simple action caused more tears to leave your eyes. “Where is the blade, baby?” You weakly pointed to the dresser. Yelena quickly stood up and went to find it. Kate maneuvered you to lie down on the bed with her arms tightly around you. There was more to discuss, more things you needed to work through. Right now, you felt safe in your girls’ arms.

*

The night of the Gala, you felt your normal nerves with all the eyes and cameras on you. But Yelena and Kate quieted every doubt that entered your mind. As much as they said they needed you, you needed them.

[insuke69]

What's in a name? P2

Part I

2/3

☆ Hobie brown × Rich!Osborn!reader

★ Synopsis: Osborn is almost a disgusting name because of the messed up things it has and the dirty money that holds it up by threads. And here is the child that sneaks out one night and meets a punk that goes directly against her father.

✩ Warnings: cussing, Some more angst, 'crybaby’ reader, misunderstanding, SMUT

★ smut: P in V, unprotected, pull-out-method, oral (F!receiving), pierced pp.

Rating—M

✩ 7,1k words

______

If one word could describe how the next few days of your life was, It’d be bittersweet.

Bittersweet Because of how sweet Spiderpunk was to you. Or rather, how sweet he was to who he thought was Emily.

So sweet while you couldn’t describe how you felt with him, with your own behavior more open and carefree with that dark mask you bare almost every night when you sneak out and ‘accidentally’ run into him. It makes you grin like an idiot when he stands close or when you see him webbing over to you as you chill around the bench.

That bench where you two met, where you always helplessly cried as a little girl now being a place you look forward to going every day. The second the sun sets you tell Roxy you’re going out and you stay out until any hour of the night with not even Roxy knowing about the special punk that makes your heart pound and your body ease with some kind of feeling that makes you want to be close to him physically and emotionally.

Something about how exhilarating and free you felt around him, his arm around you while you held onto him. You two often webbed some nights, to buildings you know inside out since you helped your dad design some, or some simple spray painting in canals, and if you were lucky: You two would end up on some rooftop talking while looking into the night sky with few stars because of light pollution.

One night you’re bent beside your bed with the collection of pictures with you and Spiderpunk, you’re wondering if you should show him who you are: But that's the bitter part.

Spiderpunk loves and is close to the masked street artist he simply knows by her fake name, Emily.

Bitter because he doesn’t care for the actual woman below the mask, yet he enjoys the mask and the personality below. Spiderpunk seems to despise y/n Osborn. He doesn’t make his rebellious habits too known since he didn’t do that for attention and was always his own unfiltered and blunt self. How the hell will you two ever know each other when he wears his mask for anonymity and you wear yours to not end up getting stabbed at every turn.

“I just.. I feel like she's always trying to act as if she’s so much better than her dad, when she doesn’t even leave her house to avoid the people who see her as she is.” you remember Spiderpunk shrugging since the topic had moved to ‘you’.

“Yeah? What a hot take.” You comment sarcastically with a chuckle. You couldn’t defend yourself/who is the true woman behind the mask since he would likely be offended that you would defend the daughter of such a monster.

Your small memory moment cuts short as you hear your door knock in the way you know exactly who is the one behind the door and quickly shove the shoebox full of pictures of Spiderpunk and you with the art you’ve been putting up on most osborn buildings under your bed and sit on the edge of it while the door opens and Roxy walks in.

“Hey, remember to get ready for the event.” She said as she looks away from you and goes straight to your closet. “This is important to your father, he needs his daughter there and he needs you to behave for it.” Roxy continued as she began picking out an outfit for you.

This was a christmas event where your dad made a whole thing just to show off he donated some money to a cause about homeless and unfed people around in Brazil, meanwhile he hates the needy people down in the city less than a ten minute drive away–and actively keeping them ignored.

“What's the.. Uhm..” You begin before pausing to think of the word,

“Schedule? It's from five to twelve.” Roxy chimed.

“What? Dude! I won’t be able to go out w-” You cut yourself off before rewording your words, “I don’t want to go.” you say as you lean back on your hands before adding with a scoff. “It’s a waste of time and we both know I just have to smile for a camera and look pretty like some display model.”

Roxy didn’t know about Spiderpunk, nobody did. You couldn’t let her know about Spiderpunk, it's one thing to sneak out and arrive home late with spray paint stains and smelling like an unfamiliar cologne and musky scent faintly drafting through the air you walk through–mostly because you have to hold onto Spiderpunk as you two swing through the musty camden air.

“Yes, but you also have to understand how important this is to your father, and I’ve been trying my very best to make sure your Mr. Osborn h-”

“My dad, Norman, I couldn’t care less.” you interrupt with a slight grimace, “You don’t have to ‘Mr. Osborn’ him to me.”

Roxy nods and clears her throat, “Norman,” She corrected, “In shorter words, I’ve trying so damn hard to make sure he doesn’t find anything out about whatever the hell you do when you go out, The least you can do is listen to me and miss what you do just this once.”

Her tone is a bit exasperated while still calm as if it were nothing while she rummaged through your closet and took out a sparkly low cut red dress with black edges along with lace over where cleavage would’ve been visible, along with black stilettos. She places the dress and pair of shoes onto your bed beside where you sat and moved over to your vanity for the jewelry to wear with everything, settling on a pearl necklace and a pair of white gold earrings and placing them in the middle of your vanity for you to put them on before makeup.

“I still don’t get why you have to pick out my outfits, still.” You murmur under your breath with snark as you look over what Roxy had set up for you.

“You are still dependent.” She answered bluntly while grabbing tights for you, fishnets to have below the skirt of the dress.

Still dependent.

You go quiet for a moment. So even Roxy thinks you’re a daddy's girl who can’t think for herself. She’s always picked your outfits for you for events, it always pissed you off how she never wanted to teach you about what colors clash or what is too tacky. How are you supposed to know if nobody has taught you anything?

“Your hair will be half up-half down.” Roxy adds as she gestures to what she had set up for you.

At least you had your own abilities to do your own damn hair, how generous. And with that, Roxy had walked out of your room to leave you get changed and ready for the event.

You roll your eyes and start getting changed, you look at yourself in the mirror and take a breath before testing your fake smile while looking at yourself, partially not really recognizing the reflection behind it.

Some dolled up girl wearing things that cost more than most people can wish for, your money that you don’t earn, you can't earn anything. You’re like some little girl who has to rely on the people who refuse to even teach you anything. Your face just feels as if you’re being forced to enjoy and display everything that holds blood and dirt, almost muddily dragged on your skin and collar bone.

You huff and rip your gaze from the mirror and move back to your bed to take out the balaclava and gloves hastily and shove the shoebox back under your bed and hidden away then moving over to your closet and grabbing a black and white purse–shoving in the gloves and mask before spraying on your usual perfume and leaving your room to start being on your way to the event.

_____

In summary:

The event is shit, the event has loud music, loud overwhelming music, the whole time you have to be stood with a smile that barely reaches your eyes and having to awkwardly hug or shake hands with the most random strangers you have to interact with.

There's good food and catering–but you for whatever reason was told to stay by the big decorative tree and some security guards around you since it's the usual thing at events, your father isn’t really loved by all so it's for your safety to have some random big dude hovering your every move and interaction.

“Hey, what time is it?” You ask the taller man who wore dark sunglasses and a serious look on his face that barely glance at you, almost protecting you like you were some safe that has to be observed because of secrets and riches it held.

“It’s..” He changed his statue-like position and checked his watch, “Seven o’four.” He answered while moving back to his earlier position and staring dead ahead as if you were medusa, he was still and cold as stone anyway.

You scoff and cross your arms over your chest at the time. Five more hours of standing beside some man who doesn’t care to at all speak or interact with ‘the goods’ or the product he's protecting? No. You glance around and see some double doors that are labeled with two signs which indicate a woman's bathroom and the dude bathroom with a smaller sign with some writing that you can’t read all that well.

You take a step to walk in that direction before feeling a hand on your shoulder like a chain around your ankle holding you back.

Oh right, the statue-bodyguard

“Where do you th-” The guy began before you shake his hand off of your shoulder and keep walking in that direction.

“Bathroom! Little lady Osborn has to go to the ladies room.” You say sarcastically while walking over to the doors you saw, the bodyguard letting you go after saying something about not wasting time and five minutes–you tuned him out because you already felt so free without him hovering.

You walk towards the doors and read small instructions that pretty much tell you/the one reading that where the bathrooms are.

Turn left to the second hall and third door to the right, follow the hall where the restroom signs are.

-Oscorp

You push the door and walk through to see some big hall where there are other rooms, an untouched area of the venue that seemed to be rooms to take care of kids, like some daycare or classrooms. The hall has a barely yellowish tint and has a hall that goes to the bathrooms. You explore a bit more to find an exit with a bright green sign to indicate exactly what it is.

You grin and clutch your purse as you head to the emergency exit and push it open–the cold air of the night hitting you immediately and you curse at yourself for leaving your sweater to the guard.

You take a deep breath and let the cool air flood your lungs before taking a few steps away from the building to find what part of the city you’re in and start walking more while taking out your balaclava and gloves then putting them on.

You zone out while taking the refreshing walk away from the loud party your dad- well, ‘oscorp’ has thrown, a wasteful event full of music and food to distract people from the ruined lives caused by this large and overrated company.

You then hear a familiar THWAP appear from behind you.

Oh god.

Not now-

Your mask is over your face along with your gloves but that doesn’t hide your expensive jewelry or dress, or heels or anything of the sort that shows you aren’t the lower middle class woman Spiderpunk should think you are.

“Emi’?”

A voice you always want to hear, whether it's asking or telling you something, whether it's called out or whispered in your ear, you love whenever his deep cockney words are directed at you. The nickname he gave you since he often joked about Emily being too much of a hassle to pronounce.

But right now it feels horrifying, heart full of dread at the possibility of him figuring out you aren’t who you’ve been saying you are- hell- your name isn’t even Emily, you just named yourself after your dead mother.

“Emily.” Spiderpunk said more firmly once he recognised that mask, the same mask he sees most nights–and to little of your knowledge..

Really want to see what's below it.

Really wants to see the face of the woman he's growing to love.

You swallow your pride and turn to face him as if you were a kid whose hand was caught in the cookie jar.

The lenses to spiderpunks masks widen a little as if to represent a bit of surprise once he sees the figure below what he usually sees, a worn out hoodie or random tee and some jeans. But now he's seeing a curvaceous colored figure in a dress that's glamorized with jewelry made of pearls and white gold, shining in the streetlight and faded moonlight.

You expect his expression shift of disgust or something at how you’re dressed, rich girl, looking like a classy brat whether there's a mask and gloves to seal something that's already leaking through your image. You’re ready to blink away tears at the feeling of your sinking heart, hands tensing and feeling like you’re holding the world's problems along with your own chained to your palms.

But to your surprise, he starts to shrug off his iconic leather jacket, before you can get a word in he passes it to you and puts it over your shoulders. “Its cold as hell tonigh’, what the hell are you wearing out here.” He says playfully with a chuckle as he looked over at you so the rhetorical question sinks in.

How the hell are you supposed to answer that?

“Uhhhhhhh..” You try to register the warm jacket now over you that had that lingering punk scent that a part of you wanted to steal genuine sniffs but you knew you couldn’t really other than subtle inhales, that scent so comforting for no reason beside the one who radiates it.

“I was at an.. ‘Important’ event but snuck out like usual.” You summarize as you adjust the jacket so you can put on the sleeves and snuggle into its warmth and scent.

His warmth and scent.

“So d’you wan’ to do the usual bullshi’ on rooftops or do you wan’ to jus’ want to fuck around Osborns buildings some more?” He asks with a grin in his voice as he lazily puts his long lanky arm around your waist like he did every night ‘platonically’, ready to tighten his hold the second you say yes for you two to swing wherever.

You smile and nod “Yeah no, I’m fine with whatever as long as it’s with you.” to which he happily shoots a web and you both begin swinging through the well lit streets of Camden, at least the part of town you both were in. The cold air soon felt a bit heavier, indicating the part of town less taken care of and more polluted. You two glide over several streets but Spiderpunk lowers and slows down around an alleyway, a familiar alleyway..

The Alleyway that started it all.

You could see the same gas station a bit down the street, bright and open. The same station where you had bought food for..

“Squaishy!” Spiderpunk greeted that same person as he let go of your waist and left you to come closer on your own accord instead of dragging you into the space, not knowing at all what has happened here for you. Little did Spiderpunk know that ‘Squaishy’ was the one who caused your tears that night. Squaishy seemed to be doing better but still with the worn out jacket but they were happy and glad to see Spiderpunk as they greeted each other with a handshake and small hug, A smile in Spiderpunk’s lenses. But Squaishy’s eyes darken as he looks over at you and recognizes your mask.

But Spiderpunk follows his gaze, not realizing the tension. “Squiashy! This is my friend, Emily.” he introduced as he put his hands on your shoulders and almost pushing you into the conversation.

A knowing amused smirk falls onto Squaishy’s lips as they raise their eyebrows, “Emily?” He echoed.

Fuck.

“I have to go.” You say abruptly before Squaishy can have a quip or comment about your name..

Or mentions that it isn’t your actual name.

Words couldn’t explain how Spider-punk looked as his head whipped to look in your direction as if you said something so appalling that it insulted his whole bloodline, “Wha’?” He asked as the lenses of his mask widened, looking almost like round ovals–but the important thing is that you suddenly feel his eyes burning into yours, as if he was shifting his attention onto you to not leave so soon. Squiashy’s smug expression shifts slightly when he notices how Spiderpunk when from seeming happy and in a good mood, to worried and uncertain.

“I was out on a walk.. You know, from where I escaped-slash-snuck out from, and I don’t want them noticing I’m gone or anything since I’m an ‘important factor’.” you say awkwardly, trying your best to say everything but nothing at the same time.

Hobie isn’t stupid though, he can always tell when there’s more to the story, especially now since your excuses are getting more vague and sloppy.

“I can take you back?” He offers, either wanting to spend more time with you or curious as to what you do or who you actually are. These half truths are starting to make Hobie more curious of the woman behind the balaclava every night. At his offer, trying to know more about you, not knowing that you aren’t the Emily you’re displaying yourself to be.

Emily is bold, playful, sarcastic, sweet, thoughtful and fun. She's the woman spiderpunk wants to hold close at night and would do anything to see her eyes below the mask smile.

But he didn't know the person who you have to keep hidden from him like how you keep ‘Emily’ from your father.

Y/n is quiet, keeps to herself, diffident, rich and spoiled. The woman who spiderpunk feels indifferent about beyond disdain and a grimace when he hears her, or the Osborn name in general.

“No, no. or.. Can you take me where you found me?” You request awkwardly with a small smile, hoping he’ll say yes, half knowing he will but won’t stop asking things. He’s as curious as a cat.. An adorable, tall, lanky punk-cat.

He nods and says a quick bye handshake with Squaishy and turns back to you, putting his arm around your waist firmly and holding your body against his then shoots a web, soon launching into the air and swinging, your arms and around his neck. Palpable tension beyond your face in the crook of his neck to shield your face from the cold air hitting you both. Tension now because of what even started this relationship..

His unanswered questions, and your half answers.

Once you arrive where Spiderpunk found you, when he sets you down he keeps a hand on your shoulder as if to keep you from leaving/running off. “So, would you mind telling me at least wha’ even’ you’re talking ‘bout?” He prompted as he looked into your visible eyes through the balaclava. It felt like he was looking into your soul, making your mouth go dry.

“..I mind? I’m- I’m sorry but I really do have to g-”

“Don’ start with that!” He cut you off with a scoff as he moves his hand off of your shoulder, letting you be able to go if you really wanted to, “You always have to end up disappearing, I understand your need to have your identity secre’, but at this point it's like you don’ trust me.”

He isn’t wrong but he isn’t right either. You do trust him, there's so much you know you have freedom of doubt in him but.. It's the one thing you can’t tell him about, the one thing that you can’t control and that you doubt he’d understand. The filthy name that comes after your first.

Osborn.

Tears make a glossy layer on your eyes, You’re stuck. On one hand, if you tell the truth, he won’t ever see you the same. On the other hand, If you still avoid it, you may slip up and he’ll find out the hard way.

“Not- not yet.” You whisper, “I’ll tell everything you want to hear, but I just can’t right now.” you murmur as you took off his jacket he lent you and passed it back to him before taking some steps back, as much as you didn’t want this argument to end on this sour note, you couldn’t risk anything going wrong with your father.

Spiderpunk watched with furrowed eyebrows under his mask as you went away, disappearing as you turned a corner. He cursed at himself under his breath as he put the leather jacket back on, a faint lingering fragrance of your perfume, conflicted thoughts and emotions circling his mind like a toy train. On one hand, he knows your boundaries and wants you to be comfortable and able to cry on his shoulder, on the other hand: He won’t let himself be manipulated and lied to, whether he's infatuated or not.

He shook his head and clasped his hands over his face.

“This is a breach of her privacy. This is a breach of her privacy, this is a breach of her-” He repeats in his mind as he shoots a web and runs up a building to arrive at its rooftop. He takes off his mask and stands by the edge as he looks out at the street you went down, his mind screaming at him and his heart telling him it's a bad idea.

“She won’t like that you followed her. She won’t trust you, you can just wait..” “But wait how long? What is so bad that she has to keep it from me? How long can she play me as the fuckin’ fool..” His mind debating against himself, but still looking out for you.

He spots you and jumps over buildings while running, his eyes on you to see where you’re going. What you’re doing. Why you are in such a hurry. Watching as you approach the venue, going towards the door you went out from. Osborn’s charity event.

It was dark but he saw your figure, the way your hands moved to first take off your gloves and shove them into your bag but something fell without you noticing, then your mask. It’s like Hobie was watching it in slow motion, your hands raising to the end of your mask and starting to raise it.

In a flash of awareness, he turned around completely before he saw your face. This wasn’t how he wanted it to happen, this isn't how he wanted to see the woman hidden behind that fabric, but the need to know was almost hurting his mind, but he remembered you dropped something so he put on his mask then jumped and webbed closer to where you were and strained his eyes looking at the ground to see what you dropped.

A gold bracelet with the names “Anne-Marie, Emily, Y/n.”

Spiderpunk read the names and recognized Emily of course, so it was clearly yours, he thought. But he also recognized the name of the offspring of the man he despised. He webbed back up to the building he was on earlier and took off his mask to inspect the bracelet a bit more.

Hobies gaze softened as he gently held the delicate gold bracelet in his hand, for as small and thin it was, it was heavy. It really was gold. Hobie didn’t know what to think. Who are you?

The Event ended eventually and he just watched everyone leave, blankly staring at Osborn and his daughter-

His daughter wearing the same thing you were. The same purse hung on your arm.

Hobie felt his heart almost drop.. The woman he wanted to keep safe and protect was the daughter of the man he wanted to protect everyone around them from. He clenched the bracelet in his hand so hard that he bent the gold ever so slightly with his mutated strength. He wanted to laugh at how badly you didn’t want him to figure anything out yet, scream into the sky until it shattered because of the betrayal, the anger, the hatred brewing, the hatred for the Osborn’s moving to ‘Emily’, a girl who he thought was someone humble, who he wanted to have by his side, in his arms, and in his bed. It hurt. The avoidant truths. The way that he couldn’t think straight anymore as his mind and hands were tense.

The car drove off from the venue where the Osborn’s were going home. Hobie was going to confront “Emily”, He couldn’t recognize them anymore. As if he was going to confront a stranger he used to know. He followed the car from afar until it parked, he waited by the forest beside your house, he was about to climb a random tree to get a better view without being seen, but his hand was met with some rough fabric, his first reaction was to clench and pull it down.

He sees that in his hand, is her backpack. The one he looked through naively having little to no idea that she wouldn’t have to be a drug dealer when she can easily buy whatever she wants whenever she wants.

A bedroom window lights up and it catches his attention, he thwips a web to the outside wall and quietly walks on the wall and peeks into the window to see you kneeling down beside your bed in front of a shoebox.

“How was the event, Emi’?” Spiderpunk asked sarcastically as he let himself in through the window, you flinched and eyes shot immediately towards him with your usually smiley and once gorgeous to him eyes as wide as glass dinner plates.

“What- what do.. Shit- I’m sorry. I wanted to tell you bu-” You began as you stood and began walking closer before he cut you off with his voice raised and clear distaste as he spoke to you. You’ve never heard genuine venom in his tone, he always spoke happily with the lenses of his mask beaming.. That was gone, all gone from his hateful gaze.

“Tell me what? That you’re part of a corporation thats forcing Millions of people in poverty? That you-”

“That I have nothing to do with!” You snap, years of verbal abuse from people who have always assumed the worst from you, and now it was even worse since he supposedly knew you internally. “Aren’t you someone who fights against stereotypes? Who fights against things that are unfair?”

“Don’ you dare. Thats differen’, you were actively Lying- Hiding the damn truth from me, Hearing me say all these things about Osborn- Your dad- Ugh.” He groaned while clasping his hand over his face, trying not to yell since he knew about your sensitivity towards being yelled at. “I have been nothing but caring towards you and it feels like you’ve stabbed me in the back.” he summarized, slowly taking off his mask to show his seriousness.. And to show that he still seems to trust you.

He felt betrayed, lied to, his trust was broken–yet.. He would tell you his plans, he would tell you which ones of Osborns buildings he was going to vandalize and on what days he planned to do it, but he’s never been caught.

He’s never been caught, you’ve never snitched.

You were there most of the time, you’ve had every chance to get him in trouble and caught, that means something.

Your expression softens, now wasn’t the time but he was handsome.. Stunning. His eyes shut and his eyebrows furrowed while pinching the bridge of his nose, the scowl showed that he genuinely felt conflicted and you had to know the actual reason why. It almost hurts that you are being the cause of his frown instead of the reason of his smile.

You shake off the pained thoughts and continue as you step closer so he could look at you, “Can’t you see why I never told you? Look at how you’re reacting. You know me, or you at least know ‘Emily’, so what makes (y/n) any different?” you ask with a gesture of your hand, “I’m still the same girl who would spray paint with you, who’d come with you to put up art over my father’s buildings, the same girl you laughed with and the girl you held as she cried.” You tell him as your voice trembles with tears threatening to roll down your cheeks, vision already blurred from them pooling in your eyes, looking away before he could see the effect all of this is taking on you.

He's silent for a second, he wants to yell, he wants to talk, he wants to sob, he doesn’t know exactly what to do for a moment so he swallows his pride and interrupts you right before you were about to break the silence yourself.

“Because I loved you!” He spat as if he never wanted to admit it himself, “I loved the girl who’d spray paint with me,” Hobie takes a step closer to you this, “I loved the girl whose art I’d put up on Osborn’s buildings, and I loved..” He trailed off for a moment as he put his hand on your chin to force you to look at him gently, “..The same girl who laughed with me and who I held as she cried.”

Loved.

“Loved”..

“So what? Not anymore? Because of an ‘asshole’ who happens to be my father?” You ask as you pull back from his touch, upset at the fact that Hobie was blaming you for your dad’s actions, “it’s fucking unfair.” You added under your breath as the crybaby in you was coming back stronger for ever, now the frustration from that night and every hateful interaction you’ve had coming back full force.

“I.. don’t know.” He answered honestly with an empty chuckle as if his own internal turmoil was funny as he looked into your watering eyes, knowing full well he was causing them, and that knowledge felt like a drill to his heart.

The water in your eyes thickens as you feel like he’s slipping from your hands, the one person who saw you as a person at one point now seeing you like a monster like everyone else did, always compared to your dad by everyone else, it wasn’t new.. But this just hurt so much more. So much more.

And Hobie’s heart is torn, this wasn’t how he wanted to find anything out, this isn’t how anything was supposed to go, he never wanted to make you cry. He closes his eyes and takes a small breath once your face scrunches up while choking back a sob, remembering how affected you probably are in this moment, recognizing your own heartbreak as he thought of your words.

Unfair.

It was unfair what your father was doing, unfair how many innocent people like Squaishy now sleep in cold tents in abandoned areas just to not be killed due to the cold or by other not as nice vagabonds. Nothing was fair in this moment, no stars were aligned, no god that smiled upon them, no luck in a single charm..

At this point you were on the verge of fully breaking down at this, everything just went downhill in a matter of moments. But the second you let out a choke sob, Hobie knew what to do. You suddenly felt his hand on your jaw and he pulled you into a kiss, a passionate yet soft one. His plump lips and warm piercing against your surprised ones, you fully thought everything was over and here he was: Spiderpunk/Hobie brown, kissing you with his neck craned to accommodate your height and his other hand moving to your waist to hold your body flushed against his.

He was beginning to regret having kissed you at all since you weren’t reciprocating but those thoughts were wiped once he felt your hand move to the side of his neck and an eager response from your mouth. This felt right. Whether you were some masked street artist, The daughter of a sadistic sociopath, or simply (y/n) Osborn, and if Spiderpunk was some masked Vigilante, a punk squatter, or simply Hobie Brown, this was right.

Hobie was clearly more experienced with his kissing skills, considering the fact he probably had more than quadruple the social life you did: He at least probably had much more than double the sex life too. And it doesn’t take long for the repressed emotions, repressed love and the electric tension when you two swung through the city catches up to you two. Hobie’s tongue mixing into the kiss tentatively and his hand that was on your jaw snaking into your hair and keeping you close in an intimate yet not-forced way.

This feeling was intoxicating, finally having him close and his lips slotted in yours, fitting together like some kind of perfect pieces from different puzzles. Hobie advanced ever so slightly which made you take some steps back until the back of your legs hit the edge of the bed, he then gently pushed you back and climbed on top of you before pulling you into another deep kiss, but more greedy and ever so slightly wanton, and this change of pace made your heart begin to beat a bit more quickly with your lips hardly keeping up with his, his tongue dancing an expert tango and yours swayed a newbie ballet. He probably thought you had some kind of experience but you really didn’t, nobody dared get close to you emotionally and much less physically.

And its like alarms went off the second his hands lowered to your hips and thighs, close to the edge of the dress you had been wearing earlier at the stupid event earlier. You pulled out of the kiss and your hands almost slapped onto his in a haste to stop him, quickly muttering a quiet “Oh shit, sorry.” Under your breath as you rubbed his hands where your hand had landed on.

“You alrigh’?” He asked as his eyes looked into yours, ignoring your apology and focusing on why you had moved your hands to stop him so quickly, not wanting to move past your boundaries–he's not that kind of man, no matter how upset he was at you moments or however badly he wanted you in that moment. He was ready to put you first, you and your comfort first.[a]

“I.. I haven’t really done anything like this before.” You tell him bluntly yet a bit quietly as you averted your gaze in slight embarrassment, he was obviously a pro and an expert and here you were: Hardly able to know what to do with your tongue while making out with someone. This information clicked into Hobie’s mind and he nodded, “You don’ have to do anything you don’ wanna.” Hobie assured you as he gently put a hand to your cheek and made you look at him, his eyes boring into yours with raw concern and care.

“No no- it isn’t that I don’t want to..” Its that you don’t want to disappoint him or underwhelm him, but how the fuck do you tell him that after crying in front of him and literally disappointed him earlier when he learnt who you really were. “..I do want to, but.. I’m no model either.” You say half-jokingly to try to lighten the intense mood.

Hobie nodded again before leaning in and kissing you again, he didn’t really mind as long as you could express your limit, “Alrigh’, but if you need me t’stop, just say the word.” He reassured you while practically looking in your soul through your eyes.

He then leaned in and began kissing your neck, his hand moving to your waist while the other moved to your back and slowly began pulling down the zipper of your dress, the feeling of his touch and his lips on your neck like a kind of blue electricity that went all through you. The dress soon lowered to your waist, exposing your breasts that simply had nipple pads due to the dress having been one of cleavage, Hobie carefully peeled them off and set them aside onto your nightstand and began kissing down your collarbone with one hand already massaging your tit and pinching your nipple, his other hand working to lower the dress more. Over your abdomen, past your hips, down your thighs, and off your legs and body.

He carefully let his hands lower and gently hold the band of your fishnets and panties, but he paused as he awaited a yes or no from you, everything was going to be on your terms.

Your heart was pounding in your ears, breath slightly shaking and his hands were calloused yet soothing on your soft skin, but you wanted more and so you nodded in approval and soon enough–Your panties were gone too, your cunt fluttering once exposed to the cold air and Hobie’s hungry gaze. In a moment of self-consciousness your thighs press together, or at least you try to before Hobie stops you with his hands on your knees and easing them apart, not at all forcefully but just enough to show what he wanted.

“Do ya trus’ me?” He asked softly, the exact same way that spiderpunk did all those nights ago, his hand once that lingered too long on your hip now on your knees, showing yourself and your vulnerability.

“Never stopped trusting you.” You answered with a small approving nod.

And with that, Hobie began to pepper small kisses into the plushy flesh of your thighs and slowly inching closer to where you felt you needed him most. After what felt like hours, he finally reached the lips of your glistening pussy and his warm breath touching your puffy clit. He kissed it once before licking a stripe from your hole to your clit then latching his mouth suddenly to your bud, blissfully making out with your lips expertly like he was with your upper ones earlier.

“Oh.. shit..” You moan breathlessly with your hand knotting into his hair. His hand moves from holding you by the knee to keep your legs spread towards the hole of your pussy, easing in a finger that entered with not too much effort due to his spit and your wet arousal welcoming him. Yet your hips squirming due to the intrusion, making Hobie slow down his finger and focus on your cunt.

He slowly pumps a single finger in your pussy while licking his name letter by letter on your sensitive bundle of nerves.. H-O-B-I-E B-R-O-W-N. You quickly feel yourself get more sensitive and your hips squirm, unsure of how to react to this new sensation, his fingers reaching places you never could and much less stimulation at the same time in your hole as it is in your bundle of nerves.

You quickly come undone and your thighs almost press Hobie’s head between them, but his hand remains on your inner thigh to keep it open, lapping up your juices with his tongue flat on your cunt and his finger pumping in and out a little more before pulling it out of you and licking it clean. Something about this lewd display makes you clench around nothing, maybe it was the fact that he hardly took his eyes off of you once, studying your expression for any hesitance or regret.

He pulled up to show his raging hard-on, straining his jeans and creating a beautiful bulge. You watch as he fumbles with his belt and lowers his pants and boxers, his cock springing free and leaking beads of pre-cum, proudly standing eight inches at least, a silver Alberts piercing. He lazily strokes it a few times and aligns it lower to your sensitive virgin hole.

“Please.. Be gentle?” You request softly as you put your hand on his abdomen as if to make sure he had stopped and listened. He nodded before leaning down and kissing your lips slowly and passionately as he slowly eased himself into you with his hands moving to your hips. You felt a slight sting or burn while he pushed himself inside, yet his lips stayed on yours for you to be able to keep your focus and sounds averted while tasting yourself on his tongue. His hips come to halt once he’s fully inside, giving you time to adjust as he separated his lips from yours and waited for your green light patiently.

At the second nod of your head, he slowly pulled out and went in once again, creating a steady rhythm with his hips with pretty groans and praises falling from his lips.

“Fuck.. pretty cun’ sucking me in- tigh’ as hell.. Shi’.” He mumbled beautifully into the crook of your neck while his hips began rutting more into you, as if desperately chasing for more with his piercing stroking your spongey G-spot and his high.

You feel yourself clench around him as your orgasm washes over you once again, Hobie quickly following suit, Pulling out and stroking himself a bit more before finishing and cumming on your abdomen, his hands quickly moving to the sides of your head to stop himself from falling onto you and instead falling onto the space on the bed beside you. He laid on his side with a protective arm around your waist and held you close.

“Emily fuckin’ Osborn.” He mumbled almost to himself as he looked up at your fucked out expression, a small layer of sweat on your pretty face, normally he had fantasized of whoever you were under the mask being an expert at everything including dick and cunt, meanwhile here he was laying beside the daughter of the man he always swore to destroy.

“...Is now a good time to tell you that Emily is my moms name?”

“..wha’?”

___________________________

★| Taglist!:

@craziblondi @fodmdk123 @vinxernica @muffinlovesfiction @jane-3043 @coffeeandtealol @alecmores @azuurr3 @nyumei @noharaaa @alisoncdariel @dailyhobiebrown @malatuadimadre @ziarah @i-want-to-be-hit-by-a-car @malyjohn @horrorcore2002 @jess-fae @bluupen

@eyesxxyou

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I’m really sorry if this is bad/underwhelming/not as good as the last one, I was really rushed and I felt bad for not getting this out sooner :(((

I love y’all so much <3

[leidensygdom]

Ok, I'm gonna start a post idea I had been pondering. If you're either mentally or physically disabled and you have opinions about representation, this is the thread for you!

So, I've been seeing more people trying to tackle the topic of autism in their stories, but I've felt some of it tries to woobify a bit what is to live with autism, or just focus on the more socially acceptable quirks of it. And as someone with autism/ADHD (was suspected of it for most of my life, got it finally diagnosed by my therapist (who specializes in autism and ADHD) last year), sometimes I'd like for people to acknowledge the more unsavoury parts of it, the weird quirks, etc.

So, this post is going to be about that- If you wanna help people understand how your disability/neurodivergency affects your life, feel free to add to it! Just mention what do you have (no need for a full list, just what you consider relevant to the post) and some experiences, quirks, anecdotes or such that you think that are not often seen in stories or media, and that you consider an important part of it. They don't need to be huge things! I encourage people to share just whatever they feel comfortable. My list is gonna be a mix of stuff, but yours can be very different. Let me start!

Clothes and how they feel was surprisingly one of the most disruptive parts of my autism. As a kid, if I was forced to wear something that caused me some bad texture/sensitivity issues, it would significantly affect my behaviour and performance. It took me many years to be allowed to use mostly sportswear. (And it turns out being a "girl" (not anymore) wearing only sportswear tends to cause a whole lot of bullying)

This happens even nowadays. I've found out that non-heeled boots are more comfortable to me than sport shoes, because feeling something against the back of my foot makes me feel overwhelmed. I tend to wear yoga pants under actual pants, because they keep the actual pants' seams from causing sensory issues. There's almost a sort of ritual on how do I need to combine clothes to be able to function "normally", mostly consisting on reducing how much they annoy me.

On that topic, hygiene is actually a huge thing too. As a kid, I wasn't allowed to shower daily. Days I didn't shower, no matter how much I tried to keep my hygiene in other days, were "bad days" to me. I would literally plan hanging out with friends or eating out around the days I was allowed to shower. I could physically feel the difference between the day I showered and the day I didn't (even if I washed my face, armpits, used the bidet, etc).

This is true even nowadays. I can thankfully now shower daily, which isn't recommended by a lot of experts (specially because it can damage your hair and skin), but it's more worth to me than having days where I feel like I shouldn't be seen in public.

Being overwhelmed sucks! Meltdowns are mostly associated with kids, mostly because adults either learn to mask them, or do everything they can to AVOID having that meltdown. I've mostly figured out routines and such. There's this one place we go eat out every other Tuesday- And in the hours we go in, there's a sort of silent corner that is always free. This week's schedule was a mess, so we went yesterday to that same place, and the silent corner was filled with a very loud group. I got extremely overwhelmed. But enough masking drilled to me means I just sat there unable to talk for maybe 30 minutes.

Autistic adults still do have autism and experience often the full spread of traits, they've just found ways to mask, or avoid being in situations where they do need to do that. I've adapted my life and routine to that. But sometimes I land on situations out of my comfort zone that will make me feel just like when I was a kid. I want to freelance online because I'm fully aware I can't perform properly in a public facing job.

Group projects sucked so much. I know they suck for most people, but most times it was easier for me to do the entirety of the project by myself and add the others' names to it than dealing with chasing people for their parts. My college had a 6-months-long massive group project in the last year, with a 7 people group, which obviously I couldn't do alone. The whole experience was so harmful in so many ways I've had several full therapy sessions talking about it :'')

One of the reasons it's because mental flexibility is HARD with autism. If i set a schedule, I expect that schedule to be followed. If people agree to do a part, I expect that part to be delivered (unless there's a proper reason) on due time. People hate this a lot usually! It will tear group projects apart!

Stimming can be harmless, or it can be very annoying to some. I tend to shake legs and play with something in my hands. I could easy this off drawing in classes- My high school found out that I was paying more attention when I was allowed to draw in classes, and my academic performance was pretty much perfect, so they gave me permission to do that.

However, I had a teacher in middle school that did forbid me from drawing. I stimmed during a class with pens- She got so mad she sent me home with a note to my parents they had to sign. Fun!

Not exactly an anecdote, but I am ace. I hate the discourse about "making an autistic person be aro or ace is infantilizing autism". Aro/ace people can have autism. That's just how it is. I've been infantilized a lot for being ace- Which only got worse because I am autistic, and people perceived some of my special interests as child-ish. The combo didn't make things easy.

On that topic, people will often be very patronizing of your opinions or takes for being autistic. I've had people debate my sexuality (or lack of thereof), my gender identity and presentation, my hobbies, my preferences for everything, down to "what do you want to eat tonight?". This isn't too different to shitty takes about how "autistic people are more prone to being affected by the trans activistsTM", because people assume autistic people can't choose on their own. Trust me: We can.

Anyhow, I'd love if this post could be a good compilation of these sort of anecdotes! I think it could help people who wanna learn more about what is it to live with specific disabilities (and how to better portray them in media)

[vickyzangels]

% “..but i kinda hope they catch us, anyway.”

# synopsis ; an anon asked for sfw and nsfw headcanons for tom but i accidentally deleted the ask while trying to fight for my life against tumblr because every time i added a border two other pictures would disappear tumblr i hope you fall down the stairs

# pairing ; tom kaulitz x reader

# word count ; 551

# tags ; nsfw further under “keep reading” (mdni)

a/n ; i’m gonna drop this first but i have a nearly finished smut oneshot literally sitting in docs rn if i get decent enough feedback on this i’ll drop it

sfw

y’all remember that interview where he said he’d “fall in love for only a night but that he’d be down for true love later”? yeah unfortunately that applied to you, too

this can go one of two ways, you work close to the band as staff or you were a fan at one of their concerts that for some reason has to keep coming back and tom took a visual liking to you

what goes down between you two after he first notices you is vague but tom keeps seeing you every time you’re around and you started weaseling your way into his head at every hour of the day

he’d never admit that though (yet), so he’s still gonna keep up his playboy act for a bit but you’re gonna pick up that he’s being closer to you like making small jokes with you and being a little nicer

god it took you so long but he finally let you squeeze through his shell enough to be relatively close friends for a while but this definitely became a “do i wanna know if this feeling flows both ways” situation

yes the feeling did flow both ways, too bad he was still a player and you didn’t wanna ruin anything so you just endlessly flirted with each other

i am 92% sure he came to you first at an afterparty absolutely wasted and told you in german “du bist so unglaublich schön und ich will dich so sehr.” you are so infuriatingly beautiful and i want you so bad.

unfortunately, bill had to translate for you

i’ve been talking a lot so i’ll try to sum up a relationship with him and add miscellaneous points

he makes an effort to act like a boyfriend in your relationship, like he doesn’t openly flirt with other people out of genuine respect for you

first date was something like you two staying over at one of your houses for the night like a sleepover or doing something in the city

he has never forgotten any important day for you. never. and on that topic, he’ll get gifts for those days nearly months in advance

he appreciates a person with aesthetic

i’m lying, tom would fall head over heels in love if you wear something even remotely close to his style

nsfw

tom is a dog, y’all have seen the way he talks about what he wants to do during sex but he’s the most respectful person someone could probably ever ask for, someone who wouldn’t hesitate to pause everything if you told him you felt a little uncomfortable

the type of guy to fake bang you from behind when you bend over to grab something.

he’d spit in your mouth, having you kneel in front of him and holding your jaw open by squeezing it then making you swallow it if you wanted to be touched at all

this almost isn’t a headcanon but he’s a tit guy, regardless of size he’d froth at the mouth just to hold them

there’s not a big dom/sub thing between you two but he’s a switch because i said so

y’all… his favorite position is doggy or prone bone doesn’t matter as long as he gets to pull you by your neck up to him

a/n ; wow. didn’t think i could write something like this but i have a lot more so lmk if i should make a part 2?

© ALL RIGHTS BELONG TO VICKYZANGELS. do not steal, repost, plagiarize, or use my work for anything.

[mymoodwriting]

Request for Anon (yandere ABO!SKZ) 4.1k, yandere, ABO dynamics, manipulation, house arrest, nightmares, hallucinations, kidnapping, restraints, aggressive behavior, memory loss, hints of stalking (@starillusion13)

“Can I go out with you guys today?”

“You already know the answer to that.”

You were washing the dishes after breakfast, staring out at the yard through the window by the sink. Minho came up from behind, wrapping his arms around your waist, resting his chin on your shoulder and taking in a soft breath of your scent.

“My little omega stays indoors where she’s safe.”

“But-”

“Your alpha knows best.” Minho said with a low growl. “Remember.”

“Yes.”

“Hm? Yes what?”

“Yes, alpha, you know best.”

“Good omega. Have you taken your meds yet?”

“No. I was going to after I finished doing the dishes.”

“Then let me help.”

Minho pressed a chaste kiss to your cheek before stepping over to the medicine cabinet. He grabbed your pill bottle and got a glass of water as well. He came back over behind you, lifting up two pills to your mouth.

“Open.”

You took the pills into your mouth, drinking some water when Minho held the glass to your lips and tilted it up. Afterwards you playfully gagged, getting another kiss on your cheek.

“Good girl.”

“Why can’t I go out again?”

“We’ve talked about this, baby, it’s dangerous out there.”

“But if I go with you guys, then you can protect me.”

“We only go out when we need to, and to get important things. We’re not out there having fun without you, love. I promise.”

“Still, you guys don’t even let me in the yard. Isn’t that unfair?”

“It’s for your safety. I can’t imagine what I’d do if something happened to you.”

“Nothing’s going to happen to me, that’s why-”

“This topic is not for discussion.”

You whimpered when you heard Chan’s voice, glancing over to see him a few feet away from you and Minho, arms crossed over his chest. He had a stern look on his face, but upon seeing you with your head down he softened up.

“We’re just keeping you safe.” Chan explained. “You’re an omega, our omega, and it’s in our nature to protect you.”

“I know…”

“It’s too early to be butting heads, so why don’t we talk about this later.”

“Really?”

“Yeah. I’ll help you with the dishes.”

Chan shooed Minho away, standing by your side and helping you out, taking your mind off the previous conversation. For as long as you could remember this had been your pack. Of course you weren’t born into it, but were brought in. Chan built his own pack, and you were their prized omega. You were certainly loved by all of them. At first you had no issue with staying in the house, it was a two story building with a basement, and there were plenty of things to do. There was always someone to keep you company, but as of late you’ve had a yearning to go outside. Yet their rules stated you wouldn’t even go out into the yard.

It was kind of ridiculous, but time and time again they’d tell you this was all to keep you safe. The scent of an omega could drive a wolf insane, and the last thing they wanted was to put you in danger. They never let another wolf near the house, let alone you, so going outside and letting the wind carry your scent was definitely not something they were gonna let happen. You understood their intentions, but you had to admit it was kind of suffocating. You wanted to feel a cool breeze against your skin, and the warmth of the sun wrapping you in a blanket. There was a lot you missed, but you didn’t want to upset your pack.

You had your own room in the house, but you always slept with someone else. They didn’t like the idea of leaving you alone at night, or at all really. Even when they went out at least one would stay behind, but there were always exceptions. One morning after breakfast Chan told you that they would be going out, all of them, which meant you had to be alone for a few hours. You tried to tag along but they all shot down your idea. Being alone for a while would probably do you some good too, finally able to have some long overdue peace and quiet. You saw them off, wishing them well on whatever it was they were off to do, and telling them to hurry back.

Your original plan was to sleep, but as you looked around the house you saw that there was much to do. So instead you began cleaning, wanting to get chores out of the way and get ahead of somethings too. Come noon you were still alone, so you just fixed yourself up something simple. It seemed like they wouldn’t be back until later, which gave you plenty of time to make dinner. You hadn’t made them a special dinner in a long time, so now was your chance. You gathered up all your ingredients and got to work, which helped the time pass. Once you had everything on the stove you found yourself washing whatever dishes needed to be cleaned. Once again you found yourself staring out at the yard.

It was just you in the house, so maybe you could bend the rules a little bit. You made sure everything on the stove was cooking and then decided to open the back door. You were immediately hit with a gust of wind, bringing a smile to your face. You stepped out onto the porch and sat down, taking in a deep breath. It was nice to be outside, even if you couldn’t step out further and touch the grass. You would have loved to have a garden where you could grow vegetables and care for some flowers. You had presented the idea a few times, but of course it was denied every time. You were supposed to stay indoors where it was safe.

While outside you made sure to keep your ears listening to the stove, but you also wanted to hear the animals roaming around. You had your eyes shut so you could take in your surroundings with your other senses. Because of that the sound of running footsteps didn’t alert you. In fact it was kind of nice. You could hear as the creature ran through the woods, paws digging into the dirt, the rustling of the surrounding flora as it passed by. It wasn’t until your ears caught a growl, one you recognized, that you opened your eyes.

You saw a giant wolf charging right at you. Immediately you crawled back, making it into the house. Your heart was racing from fear, and before you could think to get up and shut the door the wolf lunged at you, pinning you down. It growled in your face, and you couldn’t help the whimper that escaped your lips. You shut your eyes tightly, knowing better than to try and fight this. The growling was making you tremble and you didn’t even notice when the other had shifted, that is until a hand grabbed your face and forced you to look straight ahead. You didn’t need to be told to open your eyes, finding Hyunjin on top of you, eyes glowing a fierce red.

“What the hell were you doing!?”

“Nu… nothing… I swear…”

“Is there someone here with you!?”

“No! No one-”

“I’m not so sure I believe you.” 

The rest of the boys came into the house, minus Chan and Minho, seeing that Hyunjin had you pinned. Before they could ask what was going on Hyunjin was barking orders to check the house for any possible intruders. They didn’t question it and began looking around the house.

“Hyunjin… there’s no one else… I swear…”

“You’re an omega, any alpha with enough power can make you do whatever they want.”

“I…”

“There’s no one here.” Felix reported. “Just our scents.”

“You sure?”

“Yes.”

“What the hell are you doing, Hyunjin!?”

Chan and Minho caught up with the others, walking in on a strange scene. Chan immediately yelled at Hyunjin, getting him off of you. For a moment you thought you had been saved, but then Hyunjin opened his mouth.

“She was outside!”

“What?” Chan growled, looking down at you. “Is this true?”

“I… I was just on the porch!” You explained. “I wasn’t really-”

“What have we said about going outside!”

“It was the porch! And only for a bit.”

“What if someone saw you?”

“I was paying attention to my surroundings and-”

“You didn’t see me coming.” Hyunjin remarked. “Not until it was too late.”

“Cause deep down I knew it was you, so I-”

“Enough.” Chan cut in. “You should know better than to talk back to your pack.”

“I… I’m sorry.”

You had stayed on the floor throughout the conversation, and while the yelling continued you pulled your legs up to your chest, trying to make yourself as small as possible. You were scared and visibly shaking. Chan sighed and knelt down before you, gently reaching over to pet your head and get you to look up at him. His eyes no longer had the anger that his voice carried, but instead were calm and reassuring.

“Y/n, you know how much we worry about you.”

“I know…”

“There’s a reason we don’t want you stepping outside, not even an inch. Don’t you trust us?”

“I do…”

“I’m sorry we raised our voice, we didn’t mean to upset you.”

“I know…”

“Good. Now, I see you were making dinner. We’ll finish up here, so why don’t you go with Felix and Jisung to take a nice bath. Okay?”

“Okay…”

“Good girl.”

Chan helped you up to your feet, gently pushing you towards Felix and Jisung. They each took your hand and led you upstairs. You were still a bit shaken up, but the two were already assuring you that everything was alright now. Jisung stayed with you as Felix ran the bath and made sure the water was warm. You undressed first, getting into the bath and the two others soon followed. You rested between Felix’s legs, his arms wrapped around you.

“Sorry about earlier.” Jisung mentioned. “Hyunjin was eager to get home and ran off first. He went overboard with how he reacted.”

“Hm.”

“You know we just want you safe. Which is why it’s important to stay inside.”

“But I miss the outside…”

“You have everything you could need inside and with us.”

“I don’t have grass, or dirt, or flowers, or-”

“We got your point.” Felix interrupted. “We’ll talk to Chan and see what he says.”

“You guys always say that…”

“Y/n, you’re making my heart hurt talking like this. Let’s talk about something else. What were you making for dinner?”

“I… I was making your favorite.”

“Oh, can’t wait to eat. You always make the best stuff.”

“Thanks.”

Even if the topic was off the table, it still lingered in your mind. You knew they just wanted what was best for you, but you never really had a chance to talk about these things with them. You let it go for now, smiling through dinner. Come bed time you went off with Seungmin, getting goodnight kisses and a few more apologies, especially from Hyunjin. You didn’t say much else on the matter and went to bed, curled up in Seungmin’s arms. For the most part you always slept well, but this time was different.

You dreamt of the outside, being among the trees and walking around the woods. It felt nice to take in the fresh air, looking up at the blue and seeing the clouds. You knew this was a dream, but you didn’t want to wake up. You were merely enjoying nature when you heard some footsteps. You called out to whoever was there, but no one answered. All of a sudden the sky was filled with storm clouds and it began to rain. You didn’t know which way was home, but you began to hear multiple footsteps around you. It was making your heart race, and then you began to run. You had no idea where you were going, but you knew you had to get away.

The footsteps followed behind you, and between the rain and splashing in the mud you had no idea how many there were. It was hard to see as the rain got thicker, and you could barely make out your surroundings. In your fear you wound up stumbling in your steps and collapsing to the ground. A loud roar filled your ears and you found it impossible to move. You were frozen in place by some external force, and all you could do was shiver in fear. You suddenly felt someone grab you and flip you around. All you saw were red glowing eyes, multiple pairs. In that moment all you could do was scream, but you didn’t just cry for help, instead calling out to someone to save you.

“Jongho!”

🖤

You jumped awake, breathing heavily and trying to steady your senses. You grabbed your head, feeling your hair stuck to you from all the sweat. You were about to get up when you felt a hand grab your arm. You screamed but when you saw Seungmin’s concerned eyes you apologized.

“… sorry…”

“Are you okay?”

“I… I think so…”

“Did you have a bad dream?”

“Yeah… I don’t-”

“Who’s Jongho?”

“Huh?”

“Jongho. You screamed his name just now.”

“I… I don’t know…”

“Why did you scream for him?”

“I don’t… I don’t remember…”

“You should have screamed for me if you were having a bad dream.”

Seungmin yanked you closer to him, wrapping his arms around you tightly. You had your face buried in his chest, your nose being filled with his scent. It was soothing, giving you a sense of warmth you couldn’t quite explain.

“You don’t need anyone else. I’m here for you, okay?”

“Hm…”

“Let’s go back to sleep, and no more bad dreams.”

You managed to fall back asleep while curled up in Seungmin’s embrace, sleeping peacefully through the rest of the night. You didn’t wake till morning, Seungmin right there with you watching you with a soft smile on his face. Once he knew you were awake he began petting your head, telling you how lovely you looked with the morning light on your face. The nightmare you had earlier was already faded in your memory, and you happily got up with Seungmin and joined the others downstairs for breakfast.

It seemed that your life went back to normal, except something had changed. You found yourself staring out the window more often now, and this longing to go outside only grew stronger. This house was no longer feeling like a home, but a cage. You hate that sensation, knowing very well you were loved, but it was getting harder to deny the truth. You weren’t supposed to set so much as a foot outside the door. Even when they were all around you couldn’t step outside. You always had to remain in doors, and that reality was starting to become unbearable. You didn’t even bring it up, knowing how the conversation would end.

Eventually your own frustrations culminated, and you had trouble sleeping. You’d toss about for a bit before managing to fall asleep, but on this night it seemed impossible. Thankfully you hadn’t woken up Jeongin with your restlessness, and so you decided to sneak out of the room. Maybe a little walk around the house and some water would help. You quietly made your way down to the kitchen, getting a glass of water and standing by the window. The moonlight illuminated the night, providing you with a beautiful view. You could only imagine what it would be like to bask in such beauty. Then it dawned on you that it was a possibility.

You looked around the house from where you stood, listening carefully. Eight heartbeats could be heard, all beating with a soothing rhythm, meaning everyone else in the house was asleep. It was risky, but it was a chance you were willing to take. You carefully walked over to the backdoor, slowly turning the knob and pulling the door open. You only opened it enough for you to squeeze through and step outside, quietly closing the door behind you. Once it was shut you let out the breath you were holding. You slowly stepped off the porch and out into the yard, looking up at the night sky filled with stars. It was so beautiful. A gentle breeze passed through and you took in a deep breath. There was something so nice about the fresh air.

You walked towards the trees, wanting to stretch your legs a bit and telling yourself that you’d be back before anyone knew you were gone. It felt incredibly freeing to be outside, and you knew this was what you needed more than anything. While walking about, keeping the house in sight you suddenly heard a crack of thunder. You crouched down from fright and looked up to the sky. There were no storm clouds, and the night air was still cool, no sign of rain in sight. You might have just been hearing things, but it sounded so vivid. You were completely alone, taking in a breath and continuing your walk. As you did so you suddenly heard a roar of thunder. It didn’t scare you this time, but then you felt rain coming down on you.

You glanced up at the sky again, met with nothing but stars, yet you felt the rain on your skin, heard it as it hit the flora around you. As you looked around your vision was blurred as if it was raining, yet you were completely dry. You heard footsteps out in the woods with you, but it was away from the house. Curiosity got the better of you and you walked towards the sound, ignoring the chills you were starting to get from the phantom rain. The footsteps began to get louder, and you heard a few more approaching. That’s when you began to hear voices, and even if you couldn’t make them out well, they were familiar to you. It was your pack after all.

“What are you doing out here, pretty thing?”

“I… I was just collecting some herbs for my pack…”

“You shouldn’t be out in the rain.”

“I’ll be heading to my pack now.”

“We could be your pack.”

“Uh… I have one… we-”

“You’re the only omega there, do they treat you well?”

“How… how do you…”

“You’re really pretty, you know.”

“Thanks… I really need to get back to my pack.”

You stopped when you came across a peculiar scene. You saw yourself standing under the shade of a tree, trying to shield yourself from the rain. Chan, Jeongin, Felix and Minho were there with you, slowly surrounding you. The sounds of more footsteps approaching caught your attention and you saw the others approaching. You had no idea what was going on, but this was all so vivid to be some kind of dream.

“You should get cleaned up first, our place isn’t far.”

“It’s okay…. I don’t mind the rain…”

“We don’t mind either.”

“I have someone waiting for me… they shouldn’t be that-”

“They can’t smell you in the rain, and I doubt they can hear you either.”

“I… I…”

“Why don’t you come with us, omega.”

You saw yourself immediately bolt into the woods, screaming for someone. It was the name Seungmin had mentioned before, one that felt familiar too, but there was more.

“Jongho! Yunho!”

Without realizing you had been following yourself, and saw how the other boys chased after you. One moment they were in their human form, the next you had eight wolves after you. In the blink of an eye you were running, your heart racing. You were no longer a spectator, but the one running in fear. So many memories began to flood your mind. Like you had said before, you came out with some of your pack mates to gather herbs when the storm clouds suddenly appeared. You thought it’d be a light rain, but it was clear now that the storm would last a while.

You wanted to return to your pack when you were suddenly approached by strangers. Because of the rain you were unsure if they were humans or werewolves at first, but once they began to speak you knew it was trouble. It was always a struggle to convince your pack to let you go out since you were an omega, their only omega. Then the present dawned on you. Chan and the others, they weren’t your real pack. You knew that of course, but this was something else entirely. You didn’t choose them as your home, they had taken you from it. As you realized that horrid truth you were tackled to the ground. You tried to get back on your feet, but instead you wound up on your back with a wolf pinning you down. Red eyes glaring at you.

“You shouldn’t run from your alpha.”

“You’re not my alpha!”

“We will be.”

You tried once again to break free, only to feel someone grab your leg. The wolf got off you, but you began to be dragged away. You screamed and kicked, but that did nothing to help your situation. Once again you called out for your pack mates, but you couldn’t be certain that they could hear you. The rain was mixing with your tears, and all you could really see was red. That was always one of the most terrifying aspects about yourself. As an omega you’d always find yourself submitting to an alpha, and you had no idea how many of them were here.

“Y/n!”

The sound of your name snapped you out of your daze. You were lying on the ground, alone and dry, seeing that it was still night. Your head was still foggy from all the mixing memories, but one thing was clear, you had to run. You quickly got up and began to run, not knowing where you were going, but needing to get away. The sounds of others chasing after you only pushed you to run faster. Although the unfortunate reality was that they had you outnumbered, and you weren’t even in your right mind. Too many things were swirling around in your head that you weren’t paying enough attention to where you were going. You tripped over an exposed tree root and tumbled to the ground. Before you could get your feet under you a foot was on your back pinning you down.

“What have we said about going out!” Changbin growled. “You’re in a world of trouble!”

“Let me go!” You cried. “Just let me go, please!”

“You must have had another bad dream.” Jeongin crouched down next to you. “It’s okay, we’re here now.”

“No, no you’re not my pack! You’re liars!”

“This is why we don’t let you outside.” Chan mentioned. “You get all kinds of funny ideas in your head.”

“I remember that night! You had been watching, and waiting… waiting for a storm and… and-”

“Enough.” Minho barked. “We’re going back home, now!”

You continued to cry and scream as you were dragged back, trying to hold onto anything you could, but they were far too strong. When you were back in the house you felt your heart sink, starting to realize why they kept you locked up. Even when they were gone, their scents filled this house, kept you docile and under control. Now you were back in your cage. Although this time around you went somewhere else. You were taken down to the basement, a place you hadn’t been to before. They put you in a room, chaining your leg to the wall.

“No, no, no, no, what is this? Please-”

“Quiet!” Chan roared, causing a whimper to escape your lips. “Let’s just all calm down.”

You crawled back until you hit the wall, pulling your knees up to your chest. You were shivering and trying to make yourself as small as possible. Chan slowly approached you, reaching over and wiping away your tears, ignoring how you flinched from his touch.

“I’m sorry, baby. You had us all worried when we couldn’t find you.”

“… please…”

“I know you must be confused, but we love you. We’re your pack, and we’re just trying to keep you safe.”

“… why… why… you’re not my pack…”

“Sh, sh, sh, we are. We’re your home, and we’ll help you learn that again.”

“Again?”

“You’re our precious omega, we won’t lose you.”

“…”

“Just take a deep breath, and listen to your alpha, okay?”

“I-”

“Listen to your alpha.”

“… okay…”

“Good. Now let’s refresh your memory.”

[she-who-seek-happiness]

For those who have ADHD and/or autism.

I wanna to do a test to see if I'm autistic, have ADHD, both or neither. For some reason I'm terrified of knowing the truth. Sorry if I sound offensive at some point, I'm just writing about myself and don't mean to be mean at any point.

ADHD, the name changed right? Gonna use this one because I'm writing this quickly. If I have ok, that'd explain why I'm so forgetful and nothing catches my attention unless I'm interested in the topic. And why is so hard to focus. And why I never finish my projects. But I'm not hyper active. I'm a pretty calm person, I can't reall5sit and focus for too long, but give me a hair elastic thing and I'll play with it for hours while listening to you. And I'll be able to actually listen.

Don't ask me to look in your eyes tho, I will. But only for 5 minutes if you are lucky.

My mom a lot for times aska me for things and I completely forget about them, things that are important and I feel bad for forgetting.

But all of this could simply be me and no ADHD. I don't know.

Autism

Frankly I don't think I have autism. But the reports are just so relatable it scares me a bit. I was bullied a lot during my childhood. I remember in the first grade, I tried hard to make friends but I never was able to. To this day I don't know why. Why people didn't like me? I have a timeline of events in my head of my entire life, things that happened when I was 2 y.o. but I don't have details. I don't remember if i did something or not to be not liked. The first school that my parents put me in I was there for a year. In this whole year I didn't make a single friend. I remember I asked my parents for help to do a lost of people who were and weren't my friends simply to try to uncover the reason for that. Is this a sign of autism? Idk. Maybe I'm just out of the norm, but not autistic. Doesn't seem like autism. Autism is something that affects your day to day, every day life. I'm not sure if I have signs everyday.

I have trouble socializing. I have trouble making friends. I have trouble maintaining friendship. But I can understand sarcasm, jokes and I'm able to tell when people are sad or uncomfortable. so there's goes signs that the internet sites gave me. Sometimes I do have troubles talking and truly understanding what my parents say. Not because they are complex, but because I don't get it. There are easier ways to do things and they won't for some alien reason.

I have trouble understanding relationships, in the sense what it means to be in, part of or the different aspects of relationship. People expect things. Sometimes it feels like mathematical equations on which I have to be constant aware of. I gave to do this to get to that. A lot of times I feel like I'm manipulating the few relationships that I have big I can't see another way.

Don't you dare change my routine. I'll be messed up and although not cry, I'll be very close to. Unless the change is "we are not going outside of the house anymore", sudden things messes my little planned time. At the same time I can't really organize myself very well.

I do have some subjects on which I'm very passionate about. But I'm no genius on them and although I'd love to, I can't keep going on them for hours and hours because, as said before I can't communicate very well. My social skills are terrible, I don't know what to say most of the time but I feel like I should.

I don't think I have autism. I don't think I have ADHD. I think I'm only different from other people but can't put my finger exactly on what exactly. I don't feel like I really fall into the spectrum because I lack the usual signs. But I don't know how much of this is stereotyping both those conditions.

[thisblogisaboutabook]

Solstice Tree Farm

(Christmas Tree Farm)

Azriel x Reader

A Taylor Swift inspired ACOTAR fic

This can be read as stand alone but is a follow up taking place on the solstice before the epilogue of this one shot: Part 1: Ivy (Covered in You)

warnings: sexual content, suggestive language, language, alcohol

Az held my hand tightly, warming the chill of my freezing hands. “Holidays can be hard. Five hundred years later and I still get hit with pangs of sadness when memories of my childhood creep their way to the forefront of my thoughts.”

“Yeah,” I frowned. “That makes sense. Trauma never really disappears, we just learn to cope with it.”

He nodded, giving me a soft smile that didn’t quite meet his eyes. “I’ll always be here to help you through the hard times, Y/N. Whether you need a listening ear, space, or words of understanding.”

My eyes lined with silver as I leaned my head gently against his shoulder “I love you, Az.”

He brushed a kiss to my forehead, his plush lips warming me from the inside out. “And I love you. Always.”

My steps halted as I spotted a new wine bar lit up with the sound of its patrons friendly laughter rolling out the front doors. “Oh, I need to get Mor a bottle of wine and I hear they have a perfectly spiced mulled wine here that is imported from Winter.”

Az put his hand on the small of my back, guiding me toward the door. I browsed the selections, snagging the wine Mor had raved about. We had started an annual tradition of wrapping gifts together while each downing a bottle of wine. It was no surprise that the more gifts we wrapped, the sloppier our wrapping jobs became. The special tradition between my friend and I both filled Az’s heart with warmth and…. made his eye twitch just a little bit. Ever the perfectionist, my mate. His wrappings were always the neatest of the inner circle.

As we browsed the aisles of the wine bar’s shopping section, something caught my eye. A Chardonnay imported from Vallahan - the same wine that was shared between my former husband and I at our wedding.

Nausea roiled in my stomach, the room suddenly feeling too hot. “Az, I… I need to get out of here.” His brows furrowed with concern but he asked no questions as he quickly stepped with me out of the store.

My heart raced. I loathed my husband, his death at my hands was deserved, and I did not miss my life in Vallahan at all. However, there was still blood coating my hands and I was not a violent person.

Az looked to me and I knew that his shadows, my favorite one in particular, noticed the wine too. “Do you want to talk about it?” he asked gently.

“No, I just needed air. I can find mulled wine for Mor elsewhere I’m sure.”

Az offered to go back into the store to get it but I gripped his hand tightly, needing his presence to keep me grounded.

Digging through my mind for any other topic, I asked, “Have you ever seen the bears from the Winter Court?”

Az smiled as we resumed our walking, “I have several times over the centuries. They were also a valuable resource during the war with Hybern.”

I thought for a moment. “I’d like to see them some day.”

We walked for another fifteen or so minutes before I finally asked to return home, fatigue overtaking me. Az swooped me up in his arms and flew me back to the townhouse. We’d occupied it as our personal residence for years now, thanks to Rhysand and Feyre’s generosity.

We could have purchased another house in the city but this one held so many memories to Az, memories of our family, staying there made me feel like I had been a part of their lives for much longer.

~~~~~~~

The next morning, I slept in longer than normal. Azriel had to leave early for a meeting with Cass and Rhys. He left a note stating he’d be home with pastries from our favorite bakery in a few hours.

He’d been so busy recently with work. I had been busy too. I’d taken to assisting Feyre and Ressina at the studio. The children warmed my heart and while I was not good with painting, I loved working with my hands. Each year at solstice, I’d taken to offering crafting classes for the littles to make gifts. It filled my heart with even more joy than I thought possible.

I stretched, as I awoke from bed. My body aching from whatever odd position I seemed to fall asleep in last night. Az and I had every intention of “heating things up” after we’d shopped but I fell asleep while he rubbed my back. He must have sensed that I needed the rest - the reprieve from the depths of my mind - as he let me be.

While I definitely appreciated his thoughtfulness, part of me wished he would have woken me. Tiredness aside, I was hungry for his touch, every nerve in my body screaming out for him. Just thinking about it made my breasts heavy and aching to feel him on me, my thighs squeezing tightly together to relieve the ache if only slightly

I thought about taking the time to scratch that particular itch myself but I had to get ready for my afternoon class.

~~~~~~~

The class went well. Feyre had stopped by to see the children and do some painting in her office. She’d squeezed me tightly, placing a kiss on each cheek in greeting. Gratitude filled me for how accepting she’d been of me when I first came to Velaris from Vallahan. The whole family instantly made me feel welcome, we’d grown so close over the past 10 years.

After the class, Feyre and I decided to visit a nearby tea parlor - chatting about everything from art and politics to Nyx and holiday plans. I laughed as she shared a story of Rhys sneaking off with Nyx to “attend court business” with Kallias and Viviane - but instead it was just to have the pair and their children train Rhys and Nyx on the latest snowball fighting techniques. Anything to gain a competitive edge for their own annual fight at the cabin.

After a while, Feyre reached across the table to squeeze my hand. Her blue-gray eyes meeting mine as she asked if I was doing okay. Daemati abilities aside, she was naturally very perceptive of emotions. I finally confessed to her that I hadn’t been in the holiday spirit this year when normally it was my favorite time of the year. She’d offered comfort in return and shared her own stories of times that she had struggled during the season as well, adding that Rhys had especially struggled after returning from under the mountain

It was reassuring to hear that my family understood the underlaying feelings of melancholy that could rise to the surface during such a joyous season.

When I arrived back to the townhouse, I was greeted with a box of pastries and a note from Az apologizing that we’d missed eachother.

I definitely needed the visit with Feyre but felt a bit guilty for missing him. In true Azriel fashion, there was an arrow pointing to the back of the note:

“Don’t you dare feel guilty for not being home. I’m glad that you and Feyre spent time together.”

Momentarily confused by how he knew where I’d been, the glazed look Feyre had gotten at one point during our tea time came back to me. Gods, daemati powers would be convenient.

~~~~~~~

Azriel didn’t return home until late that night. I’d dozed off while reading on the couch, waking up to him carrying me back to our bed. I gave him a sleepy smile and informed him there was food from our favorite take away spot in the kitchen.

The strong hold of his muscled body pressing into me reignited the fire that had burned inside of me that morning. Clearly scenting my arousal he gave a feline grin. “I’m hungry for something else.”

Our joining that night was hard and fast. I came quickly which only fueled his male pride, by the time he was through with me I was completely and utterly satiated. I all but fell asleep on my mate before he lifted me off of him, curling into me. I awoke briefly in the night to find his wings encompassing us - the warmth and darkness quickly soothing me back to sleep.

~~~~~~~

Once again I woke to an empty bed. I couldn’t help the frown that formed at his departure. We always had an understanding of the unexpected absences that occurred with his work. Selfishly, I had just hoped to spend the morning in bed with him.

I leaned to my side of the bed to find a note reading,

“Don’t hate me for taking off so early. You just looked too beautiful, I couldn’t bring myself to wake a sleeping angel.

Rhys needed Cassian and I at the Hewn City, I promise I’ll be home soon.

I love you.”

I was loved and I was grateful. To go from a loveless marriage to a mated pairing so full of love that the only hint of sadness came from the absence of his presence. And then, even in his absence, he still made his love known. The thought made my stomach flutter.

The fluttering quickly went away as nausea rolled in. I’d forgotten to eat the take away food I brought home last night, falling asleep full of Az instead. I hadn’t eaten since scarfing down a pastry when I returned home from tea with Feyre.

I ran to the bathroom, dry heaved, and then made my way to the kitchen - instantly feeling better after reheating the leftovers from last night.

I took a bath and got ready for my afternoon class when I heard the door open, shadows greeting me before I even heard Azriel approach. He gave me a mischevious look, eyes gleaming.

He was up to something.

I smirked. “That look means trouble. What did you do?”

He just smiled, taking my hand and nodding his head toward our bedroom. “Come here.”

We entered the room and he snapped his fingers. Shadows taking it as a cue, they began swirling into a funnel of darkness. They cleared and two suitcases appeared in their absence. Mine had a gorgeous knee-length cobalt blue wool coat hanging next to it along with a matching scarf and hat, and lined leather gloves.

I looked to Az, filled with excitement and confusion. “The coat and accessories are absolutely gorgeous, and in your color! I couldn’t love them more. Thank you.” I nodded toward the suitcases, “What about those though?”

“We’re going on a trip.” He smiled. “I talked to Feyre and she’ll cover your classes while we’re gone.”

“You packed my bags?” I asked.

“I’m your mate. I know what you like.” A playful look of arrogance masking his face.

“Alright, Spymaster, I’m at your disposal.”

Before I could follow up with questions the luggage disappeared and Azriel took my hand launching us into a winnow.

~~~~~~~

My jaw dropped. Before me in a snow covered clearing surrounded by large mountains and spruce trees of all sizes was a barn transitioned into a home. It was absolutely stunning with twinkling fae lights outside, a warm glow shining from within. The house was decked with spruce and evergreen branches, boughs of holly, each window and door donning wreaths.

“Az? Is this where we are staying?” I marveled.

“Welcome to the Winter Court, my love. Kallias and Viviane are letting us use their evergreen farm as a getaway.” His smile shone brighter than any of the twinkling fae lights. He gestured toward the door, “Come, take a look around.”

Once again, my jaw fell as I took in the inside of the barn turned lodge. A fire warmed the room from the massive stone fireplace, illuminating the reclaimed wood accents filling the place. Huge fur rugs blanketed the floor of the open loft. In a corner of the space, situated in front a wall of windows was a spruce tree that had to be twenty feet tall, decked with ornate trimmings.

“This is……. It’s incredible, Az. I don’t know what to say.” I leaned into him, sending waves of adoration and gratitude down our bond, to which he sent back a surge of love.

Taking my hand, he walked me to the plush sectional couch in front of the fire where warm mugs of cocoa, mints, and a tray of various Winter Court delicacies for grazing awaited.

“I’m sorry…” he sat, pulling me down into his lap before continuing, “for leaving this morning. I know the past few weeks have been difficult for you and after our excursion into the city the other day,” he cut off, eyes filling with empathy. “Well, I thought maybe we could use a pre-solstice getaway. I came here to prepare everything for us beforehand. There’s no better place to get into the holiday spirit than the Winter Court.”

My eyes teared up as emotions flooded me. Gods, I am such a sap. But this male, he never failed to amaze me. His love and devotion to me was euphoric. Nothing in the world could match the high of being with him.

“I love you, Az,” I choked up. “Thank you. This is incredible.”

He wiped a lone tear that fell onto my face and replaced it with a kiss.

The single kiss relit that flame smoldering inside me as I straddled his lap, pressing my mouth to his, tongues and teeth crashing into eachother. In between breaths he managed to get out “Do.” kiss. “You.” Deeper kiss. “Want to” a kiss to the column of his neck. “Go out t-.” a nip to the neck and a heated kiss to take away the pain. “Fuck it.” he ground out before ripping my top off and pinning me underneath him. I snapped my fingers and the rest of our clothes disappeared completely.

~~~~~~~

One hour? Two hours? Three, maybe? blissful hours later, he carried me to the bathroom where a hot bath awaited us. My body ached for it. Az stepped in, setting us both down and situating me between his legs. He rubbed my tense shoulders, a particularly deep knead making my eyes roll back into my head and an involuntary moan escape my lips. “Fuck,” he cursed. “That moan.” He repeated the motion on the opposite shoulder, garnering the same involuntary response. “So. pretty.” He said, voice low, dripping with lust.

Those words alone caused me to rest my head back on his chest, looking up into his eyes. His renewed arousal incredibly evident against my back. He firmly placed a calloused hand on my neck, leaning down to kiss me. Hard. Before I could turn around, he gripped my hips. Strong arms lifted me up before sinking me down onto him, inch by torturous inch bringing the sweetest pleasure back to my body.

~~~~~~~

After a long bath that may or may not have needed to be reheated not once but twice, and sliding into the most comfortable bathing robe to ever grace my skin, we padded to the bedroom.

This room was the type of room that one could enter and be totally content never leaving. A massive four poster bed situated on top of a fluffy white rug called to me. Its blankets and pillows could swallow myself, my large Illyrian mate, and his massive wings. A fire warmed the space and the floor to ceiling window overlooked a hillside at the edge of the clearing, city lights burned brightly down below as coin sized snowflakes fell lazily from the sky.

Candles were lit around the room and fae lights softly illuminated the space. A knock from the outside door interrupted my moment of awe. Az pointed toward a box on the bed, stating he would be right back.

Not sure who could possibly visiting us, I padded over to the bed and opened the gift wrapped box. Inside lay a silken robe and matching sheer night gown. My heart fluttered as once again, the gown was dyed a gorgeous cobalt blue. I dropped the heavy robe I was wearing to dress myself in the see-through gown barely reaching below my ass, the new robe, and matching thong. I sighed at the luxurious feeling of silk lightly caressing my more intimate areas.

“Gods.” Az spoke lowly from the door behind me. “You’ve always been devastating in my color, but this…. I’m starting to think that this is YOUR color. You’re an absolute goddess.”

I turned as he carried in a tray of steaming food. “I had this delivered from the city’s Solstice Market.”

My stomach rumbled at the sight of the stuffed bread, potato pancakes, and sausages on the platter before me.

“Oooh, Az, this is incredible! You’ve really thought of everything.” I looked at him intently. “Thank you, my love, truly.”

He smiled and placed the tray on a table for two set up in the room. I grinned as the smells of the food wafted toward me, “let me run to the kitchen and see if there’s a wine cabinet!”

“Sorry darling, it seems that is the one thing that I didn’t think of. But we do have hot apple cider.” He motioned to a kettle on the large tray that I’d somehow overlooked.

“That’s perfect!” I reached to the kettle and poured a mug of it. The absolutely divine smell of it filling my nose.

~~~~~~~

I awoke the next morning in Azriel’s arms. His wings cocooning us protectively. I turned around to face him, peppering kisses to his lips, nose, and cheeks.

His eyes slowly fluttered open and my heart nearly stopped at the sight of his gold-flecked hazel eyes and long, dark eyelashes. Nearly ten years in and the full effect of him never failed to awe me.

After dinner the previous night, we had cuddled on the bed as his fingers lifted up the hem of my nightgown. He traced lazy circles and lines up and down my waist, the dips of my hips, my abdomen, he spent extra time and attention on my breasts: tracing, tweaking, and gently pulling my nipples, as if he’d never touched them before. I, of course, encouraged the behavior by arching back into him and letting out an occasional soft moan.

At one point, he just stopped all motion, staring deeply into my eyes. Wonder and adoration shone as he stared, as if he too had never lost his awe toward me. We had eachother three more times during the night. Something about the intimate getaway felt like accepting the bond all over again.

I snapped from my thoughts as Az playfully nipped at my ear, retracting his wings from around us.

I looked toward the outside, snow capped mountains gleaming under the sunlight. “What’s on your agenda for us today?”

“That is a secret for me to know, and you to find out later.”

Running a single finger down the length of his chest, torso, lower - I cooed. “I hear that I can be quite convincing, Spymaster.”

His only response, a smack to my ass, “Come on, greedy. That would spoil the fun.”

Begrudgingly I got out of the bed, the warm rug beneath feeling like heaven on my feet.

~~~~~~~

After a delightful breakfast at a cafe in the city, Azriel led me toward a massive building on the outskirts of it, on the opposite side of the palace grounds. Several males posted themselves outside of the structure - one of which recognized Az immediately.

“Azriel, it’s good to see you.” The burly white haired man boomed. “Is this your lovely mate that I’ve heard so much about? I heard that your High Lord and High Lady are quite smitten with her.”

Az greeted the male politely, “Hello Klaus, yes, this would indeed be the exquisite Y/N.”

I smiled as the male shook my hand. “A pleasure to meet you Y/N. Did Azriel tell you what you’re here for today?”

I rolled my eyes tossing a mock glare at Azriel. “No, this Spymaster seems to be quite full of secrets.”

The male laughed, a loud jovial sound. “Let’s not waste time then! Come and see my pride and joy.”

I stepped into the building and my eyes filled with wonder. What was already a massive building outside was truly enormous inside, clearly some kind of glamour hid the true size from onlookers. What really caught my eye, however, were the acres upon acres of training, feeding, and sleeping quarters, along with the armory - none of it on the ground level designed to house or clothe fae, but for animals. Throughout the building were soldiers and animals training side my side, working in unison. White foxes, antlered deer, and there…. Toward the back of the building, my heart skipped a beat, giant white bears! Some wearing armor, some lazily lounging along indoor pools, trainers even brushed the creatures to which they seemed to enjoy the feeling of bristles running through their thick fur.

Klaus spent hours walking us through the grounds of the facility. I teared up when given the opportunity to brush one of the bears. I felt like a child next to such a large creature. I was aware of the danger they posed, but how could anyone resist the opportunity to spend time with a creature with cute little ears like that. They couldn’t be THAT much of a threat to me…. so long as I wasn’t an enemy. The bear seemed to agree as it tilted its head toward me in a pleading manner, as if to say: “Ah yes, right there. Scratch behind my ear just there. That’s the spot.”

It turned out that Klaus was the head of the Winter Court’s animal forces. A highly revered position in their armies, essentially a step below Cassian’s rank in the Night Court. When we were leaving, Klaus told me to come back anytime, kissing my hand in parting. Azriel instinctively sidled himself closer to me, if Klaus noticed, he didn’t show it.

Fae mates. So territorial.

~~~~~~~

After our tour of the training facility, Azriel took us on a reindeer drawn sleigh ride through the remainder of castle grounds. We cozied up together under a blanket, sipping hot cocoa and taking in the beauty of the court.

It turned out that Mor pulled strings with Viviane as such tours were a rare privilege. I teared up yet again, thinking of the effort my mate and best friend put into making this Winter Solstice so special.

I was sure to thank Azriel thoroughly that night. Five times to be exact.

~~~~~~~

The next morning came too quickly, Azriel and I refusing to leave the bed until our stomachs grumbled in unison.

We headed to the Solstice Market for the remainder of our gift shopping. I found a gorgeous bracelet for Amren, the gems mined from a frozen over cave in the heart of the Winter Court. For Feyre, I purchased paints with unique pigments inspired by the terrain of the court. I continued checking names off of my gift list, until all that was left was Mor.

It may have been strange, but what were boundaries between two best friends - I was able to acquire a similar set of lingerie to the one Azriel had purchased for me in a shade of red that would perfectly compliment her features. Azriel rolled his eyes at me in amusement.

I’d also found a particularly smutty sapphic novel for her thanks to the recommendation of a friendly shopkeeper - I picked up a copy for myself too.

Azriel and I then strolled to the wine vendors - this was where the trip took quite a turn.

I bought several bottles of the mulled wine Mor adored along with boxes of decadent chocolates. The vendor was kind, and rather chatty. We talked for twenty minutes or so and were about to leave when he offered us complimentary glass mugs of the spiced wine to warm us on our walk back toward the lodge. Az quickly declined…. For both of us. I playfully huffed stating that I had no objections to such a kind offer. Azriel’s expression grew concerned as he once again waved off the offer.

The male working at the stand watched as I stood disregarding Az’s strange objection. I kept my hand held out waving Azriel off with the other. The vendor clearly knew better than to deny a lady who was clear about what she wanted and handed over the glass.

Azriel then growled. GROWLED.

I turned around to walk away, Az on my tail. I lifted the glass to take a sip when one of his shadows, not just any shadow, my FAVORITE one - restrained my wrist.

Little traitor.

“What the hell, Az!?” I asked. Quietly enough to not cause a scene but loudly enough to convey my frustration toward him. He paused for a moment - a rare show of conflict troubled his face. “We…. We need to talk.” he said and winnowed us straight back to the lodge.

~~~~~~~

Upon arrival, I stormed into the lodge. “Do you think I have a drinking problem or something? What is it, Az? It’s so unlike you to act like this. First the territorial bullshit when Klaus kissed my hand, now taking away my choice in what I want to drink?” My traitorous body let tears slip.

Az said nothing. He stared at me for a moment, before walking up to me and grasping me into his arms, his warm embrace enveloping me. I wanted to pull away but couldn’t. His scent and warmth were intoxicating, placating me.

He kissed the top of my head, his arms still embracing behind me and moving upward, brushing his fingers through my hair before pulling back. His arms released as he took my face in his hands, hazel eyes filled with an emotion I’d never seen before.

“Baby.” He got out. Voice cracking.

“Yes? What?”

“Baby.” His eyes rimmed with tears.

“What Az? What is it? Just tell me.”

His face cracked into a smile full of wonder, the tears spilling. “You’re pregnant.”

Oh?

Oh!

“Ohhhhhh.” I managed to get out. Everything clicking into place. The emotions, the random bouts of nausea, fatigue, the mild aches in my body…the constant need to have Azriel buried inside of me.

“Gods.” I muttered next. “This explains so much! How did you figure it out? WHEN did you figure it out?”

Azriel maintained his composure, resting a hand on each of my arms while running his thumbs soothingly up and down them. “I think my body knew first. I was waking up with my wings around you protectively - normally that only happens intentionally but this time it was involuntary. And then, you started showing signs similar to those when you’re approaching your cycle but… it’s been less than two months since the last one. I couldn’t sense the shift in your scent yet but something deep within me kept telling me to observe.”

Running a hand through his hair, he continued: “Then we came here and it felt like the mating bond snapped into place all over again. The night that we were laying in bed and I was tracing my fingers along your body… your curves felt just slightly more enticing - I don’t… I don’t know how to explain it, but when I ran my fingers to your breasts they were so full, so heavy. Initially I closed my eyes and took a deep breath in trying to stave off my arousal, to allow you to rest but then it hit me. The softest hint of rose. The same scent Rhys described when Feyre…”

I cut him off. “The look, the one you gave me of wonder and awe - that’s when it hit you, isn’t it?”

“Yes.” Az replied. “Are you upset?”

“Upset? No! Never! Azriel,” I choked out. “This life with you is the most incredible gift. Having you as my mate, our chosen family, and now this life growing inside of me - this beautiful life created of the love you’ve so wholeheartedly given me. It’s so much more than I could have ever dreamed of.”

Words evaded Azriel as he embraced me, sobs wracking his body- pure joy and unconditional love flooded from him through me. As his sobs settled he pulled back to look at me, eyes filled with promise. “I swear to love and protect the two of you until the end of time. My heart was already wholly yours but now, somehow it’s been filled so much more than I knew possible. Our child will know only love from us. A beacon of hope shining from the darkness of our own childhoods.”

I looked up to him, reciprocating the feelings of joy and love through our bond.

“I love you.” I vowed.

“Oh baby” he kissed my lips.

“Oh baby” he knelt down to kiss my still flat abdomen.

“Happy Solstice. I love you.”