#these poor guys are going to need so much therapy after this movie

[deaththeyamikid]

And the Sun will Always Shine Again

Okay, hi, so I wrote a Mario fanfic, yes, it is based on this post because I couldn't get it out of my head so here it is.

Content warnings for dissociation and panic attacks

This was written before the movie was release and before I saw the movie.

______________________________________________________________

Luigi hadn’t stopped shaking since they tossed Bowser through his own castle’s walls.

            The fight had been long and grueling, with just the three of them trapped in some impenetrable magical dome the koopa wizard dude had set to activate at Bowser’s command.  Luigi had already been at his breaking point, dazed, terrified, and in no small amount of pain, when Mario had finally managed to create an opening big enough for him to frantically scramble away from the koopa king.

            “Hey, Luigi!” Mario had said as they’d backed into the magical barrier, his arm gently but firmly, shoving his little brother behind him.  “Remember that time I brought a soccer ball to school?”

            “Y-you mean when Mr. N-Norton told you baseb-ball players weren’t real a-athleats because they didn’t kn-know how to kick a ball so we spent the r-rest of the w-week trying to see h-how m-many times we could k-kick it through his legs like on b-big monkey in the m-middle game before he c-c-could get it from us and we ended up being suspended b-because we accidentally h-hit Tr-Trixie Hampstead in the f-face and broke her n-nose?”

            “Yup!”

            “Yeah, wh-why are you… Oh.  Oh!  Y-you think it’ll w-work?”

            “I think it won’t hurt to try!”

            Luigi had pulled himself together then, just enough for the two of them to bombard Bowser with joint attacks.  Mario remembered thanking whatever higher power was listening that his brother was a quick learner because he caught on sooner than Mario had to the absolutely bonkers fighting methods this world necessitated.  Eventually the twins had been able to maneuver themselves so that they were standing behind the overgrown turtle and with one look – that was all they needed to communicate – grabbed his tail and together, flung him away as hard as they could.

            It was just an unfortunate circumstance for Bowser that the barrier apparently allowed him – and only him – to pass through.

            The younger twin had cried.  They had both cried, but Mario had ushered them both along as fast as he could because even though suppressing the torrent of emotions, they were feeling was not the heathiest course of action, they were still, in fact, trapped and needed to deactivate the barrier before Bowser or any of his minions found them.

            Mario had internally panicked, because for all the training he had done to get here, to help Mushroom Kingdom, to defeat Bowser, to save his little brother, he had no idea how magic worked.  But Luigi had made quick work of it and was able to point out the spell’s source so Mario could smash it.  He was unforthcoming in how he had been able to identify what needed to be done to break the spell and as the barrier fizzled away, the trembling in Luigi’s hands spread throughout his body and Mario could only watch as his brother completely shut down.

            So, Mario had done the only thing he could.  He grabbed Luigi’s hand and pulled him along as he sought out the others, scooping up the green hat that had fallen from Luigi’s head as Bowser had torn him away from his brother right when they both thought it was over.  Mario plopped it on Luigi’s head, pulling it low over his face to help shield him from prying eyes.

            He’d found the others quickly after that, all of them having been on their way down to help the twins but too late to join – or see – the fray.  DK, Toad, and Princess Peach had all ganged up on him, asking about Luigi and if he was alright.

            “I said he’s fine!”  He felt immediate guilt for snapping at them, but really, he was at the end of his rope emotionally, physically, and mentally, and he knew how embarrassed Luigi got when this happened in front of other people.  “He’s just… processing a lot.  He’ll come back when he’s ready.”

            “How long will that be?” DK had asked.  And honestly Mario wished he had the answer.  It would be a very long time before he would be able to get the sight of Luigi’s wide, red-rimmed eyes, shedding silent tears down his far too pale face out of his head in short, almost wheezing breaths.  While Mario could usually gauge fairly accurately how long Luigi would be out of it, his twin hadn’t shut down like this in years.

            “When he’s ready,” Mario had responded firmly.  It was really the only answer he had.

            The glare he’d unintentionally shot DK had been enough to get all of them to stop asking as they tore back through the endless labyrinth of Bowser’s airship.  They were close to the main hall now and the penguin king – Mario couldn’t really remember his name – was rattling off the latest update, conferring with Princess Peach that the raging battle was finally dying down, the toads, kongs and prisoners all either escaping or emerging from their respective battles and skirmishes victorious.  Mario himself was only half paying attention, opting instead to take stock of his brother’s state and see if there was any sign of him regaining awareness of his surroundings.

            “What is ailing—?”

            Mario’s head snapped around so fast it caused Toad to shriek and duck behind DK as the plumber glowered at the small king.

            “Mario has it under control,” Princess Peach said.  The penguin humpfed contemplatively as his eyes darted between the twins.

            “You are, I presume, the green one’s brother?” he asked.

            “His name is Luigi.”

            “Indeed.  He is a mighty soldier.  Pure of heart with valor that burns bright and strong.  Those dastardly wretches were nothing against him!�� His bravery knows no bounds!”

            And Mario would be lying if he said wasn’t a little choked up at the prospect of someone not only finally recognizing his brother’s courage but voicing it as well.  He wasn’t quite sure how to respond to it.  He wasn’t sure how to respond to anything that happened in the past… however long they’d been here.

            “I know,” was all he said, voice thick and threatening to break as pride swelled in his chest, accompanied by concern and worry over what Luigi had to endure during his time held prisoner.

            “If all is in order here,” Princess Peach cut in, “I think it is time for us to return to the palace.”

            “I think that’s a stupendous idea,” Mario nodded.

With a heave, they shoved open the airship’s doors, immediately confronted with black, stormy clouds and gusts of wind that made Mario glad he was holding on to Luigi or else the sheer force of it might blow the younger twin away.  He had been skinny already – before the pipe and the mushrooms and magic – but he had clearly lost weight during his imprisonment.  It made Mario furious, and he decided then that the first thing he was going to do when all was truly said and done, and they could finally relax, was cook enough pasta to feed a family of eight and make sure at least half of it was eaten by Luigi.

The courtyard itself was littered with rubble and small groups of toads, DK’s brethren, and escapees either regrouping or receiving basic first aid.  It was as dark out here as it was in the deepest delves of Bowser’s dungeon, where Mario had found the empty cages that swung ominously over a lava pool.  He shuddered at the memory forcing the queasiness down.  He couldn’t lose his composure yet.  So, he turned his attention back to the dark courtyard.  The only source of light was the luminescent blue star that giggled as it zipped and cartwheeled aimlessly through the air.

“Every day we survive is another day death looms over us, watching, waiting for the time we all eventually succumb!” it giggled.

Mario couldn’t help the confused and incredibly alarmed glance he sent Princess Peach’s direction.  She just shrugged, evidentially equally as confused.

“Anyway!”  Toad squawked, ambling through the courtyard to the edge of the airship.

Mario led Luigi along behind him and Princess Peach, making sure DK, who was hashing out details of their retreat with his brethren, was behind them just in case something snuck up on them.  Again.

The difference between the airship and Mushroom Kingdom was so stark, Mario had to blink a few times as his eyes adjusted.  The leering clouds stayed within the perimeter of the airship, meaning the second they left, warm sun beat down on them, welcoming and bright and kind.  Mario closed his eyes and took a deep breath, encouraged by the clean air, flowers, and grass that chased away the residual taste and smell of molten lava and fire and ash.

Beside him, Luigi jolted.  It was subtle and barely noticeable, but it was enough to pull Mario from his thoughts, instead placing his full attention on his brother.  He was staring up at the clear blue sky, pupils a little less dilated than they were before with an expression of tearful wonderment on his face.  Mario almost didn’t want to bother him, but he was looking directly at the sun and the older twin knew better than to let anyone’s eyes linger there for too long.

“Come on, Weegie,” he said in what he hoped was a gentle and playful tone, pulling his brother’s cap down a little more.  “Don’t stare right at the sun, you’ll burn your retinas.”

“I—” Luigi choked on a sob.  Then brought his hand to his chest as his breath continued to come in short, sharp gasps.

“It’s okay, bro!” Mario said, gently trying to pry Luigi’s hand from its death grip on his torn and tattered overalls.  “I’m here.  You’re here.  And look!  The sun’s out and it’s bright and clear, so that means it has to be a good day!”

Luigi curled further into himself, his breath impossibly shorter.

“Weegie, take it easy,” Mario said, hoping that his rising panic wasn’t seeping into his voice.  “You’re okay, Luigi.  It’s okay.  I’ve got you.  Just breath with me, okay?”

For his part, Luigi really did try to mimic Mario’s breathing.  He just couldn’t as the tsunami of pent-up emotions hit him full force.

“I c-can see th-the sk-sky!” he wheezed.

His legs gave out on him then and Mario – fuck, he’d missed him – ever the attentive and caring older brother, even if they were twins, sank to the grass – grass! – with him.  He was only vaguely aware of the fact that he was sobbing and of the arms that pulled him close, holding him tight, and the voice that muttered comforting words into his ear.  He wasn’t sure how much time passed, but he knew that when it had, and he was finally able to hear past the blood rushing in his ears, the voice wasn’t muttering anymore.  Instead, it was humming the old lullaby his mother used to sing him when he’d had nightmares as a kid.  He whined, the sound pitiful to even his own ears, and a fresh wave of tears came streaking down his face and the figure he clung desperately to gently rocked back and forth.

“I’m sorry,” he whispered hoarsely, when he finally, truly, came to and was again aware of his brother.

“No,” Mario chided.  “Don’t you dare ever be sorry for this, bro.”

“I got your shirt wet.”

“Eh,” he felt Mario shrug.  “It was due for a wash anyway.”  Mario pulled away from Luigi just enough to look him in the eye when he felt his brother raise another protest.  “I don’t care about anything in the world aside from the fact that you’re safe.  Got that?”

Luigi buried his face in his hands and nodded.

“Okie dokie?”  Mario was baiting him now, he knew it.  Luigi just moaned miserably into his hands.  “Come on!  Say it, Weegie.”  There was a soft jab at his side.  Then another.  Then one on his stomach.

“Okie dokie…” Luigi muttered, defeated, knowing full well his older brother wasn’t going to let up until he was satisfied.

“Good!  Now, let’s-a go!  I’ve got some friends I’d like you to meet.”

Said friends were politely ignoring the brothers, having formed a protective circle around them in case someone came asking questions or, God forbid, something attack them while Luigi was breaking down.  Luigi, thankfully, in Mario’s opinion – the younger twin would lose his mind if he found out he had a breakdown in front of strangers, one of whom was a princess – hadn’t noticed them yet, his face still in his hands.  But when he did look up it was to the sight of his brother standing in the sunlight, also teary-eyed, but smiling bright, holding out a hand to help him up.

And when he took it, neither let go.

At least not until the weariness caught up with Luigi and Mario convinced him to let his big bro give him a piggyback ride the rest of the way.

And if Luigi fell asleep soon after being lifted off the ground, therein proving his brother’s point, well, he could deal with Mario’s smug teasing so long as it meant they were together.

[phantajam]

my hot take about descendants is that NONE of the core four were ready for a relationship until maybe like, the third movie (rant in tags)

[frozen-heart]

Thoughts on episode 8

Here we go again! Lots of thoughts & feelings.. So let's go!

I won't lie I was gagged when I first watched this episode. I was on the edge of my seat!

But now that I've had time to let it sit in my brain I just can't help but think that it was... lacking.. It wasn't bad, but was it good?

Reveal

I once mentioned before how I didn't want it to be Wes, but I was still shocked when he did his thing this episode.. Mrs Langsberry being Bloody Rose was fine. She was suspicious from the start, but I had other theories that I liked more. But it definitely makes sense with Tabby being the final girl.

I don't really know if I like Wes as the big bad. I didn't dislike it, as much as I thought I would before I watched this episode. But other theories captured my heart more..

Kelly

I'm glad Kelly survived. I was sure she would and here we are :D

I still don't get why Bloody Rose attacked her. It was so random, even for this movie plot thing. It didn't fit Bloody Rose at all. And then Bloody Rose standing there and watching Faran go in to save Kelly? Go girl give us nothing.

I'm sad they cut Kelly's storyline short. As if Kelly's mom just needed to have a talk with Kelly to stop literally ABUSING her?! And the weird reactions from the girls, when Kelly said there was no more prayer closet time with her mom gave me an ick.

I was also weirded out how she's suddenly included again after Imogen THREATENED to make her life a living hell. And Kelly got over her cult mindset and trauma way to quickly!

I loved her hug with Faran and I hope these two end up together. I've been shipping them since season 1.

Also, not that I care, but where was Greg? That storyline with Faran and Greg is just left in the open. Did Kelly find out? Did they just have a one time thing?? Hello?

Imogen & Johnny

The whole time after Imogen attacked Johnny I was screaming internally for someone to get him out of the fucking freezer T_T That poor guy. I thought Imogen killed him 100%! I thought that would carry out into season 3! But no.. Why didn't she call the police? I mean even in Rosewood, which has the worst police department in history, they were called when dead bodies showed up! I love Imogen, but that was so stupid. I get freaking out on Johnny and I can still excuse her knocking him out, but anything after? Questionable. Choices were made. Still love her tho.

I'm a bit sad because I came to love their relationship, despite it being rushed. I don't think they would get back together, but who knows with this show.

Dr Sullivan

I actually can't believe they butchered Dr Sullivan's character. I know she's a crappy therapist! But you can't make me believe she's so money hungry that she does all of this for a fucking book! She felt like a totally different character! In the original PLL she was still helpful and kind to the Liars and in this she had some good bonding moments with Imogen..

Why was she kidnapped in the first place? That was so random. And stopping therapy is like the last thing the Liars need. Especially Tabby and Imogen. Why is Tabby's mom okay with them stopping therapy?

I also can't get over this timeline with Archie/Dr Sullivan and the og show. It still feels out of character for Archie to randomly kill her son and only now killing her. I gotta admit it was brutal to murder her without answering her question about her son, but that whole story felt like a lie.

Clanton

AND PLEASE WHERE IS CLANTON??? It always seemed like Archie killed, because Clanton ordered it. Archie isn't actually A, Clanton is. He's the mastermind behind it. And it seems like that whole thing was just dropped?

I also thought Bloody Rose would have a bigger team. I mean it had this while Bloody Rose cult, but besides Wes and Mrs Langsberry, there was no one else involved that we knew or cared about. That was a bit dissapointing.

Jen/Noa

I was hoping till the end that Jen turns out to be evil. Especially when she accused Christian and Johnny of being suspicious, as if she hadn't suddenly turned up in Millwood as well?! That was so suspicious and I hoped they would follow through... The bar is so low and they still didn't deliver. Why did they wait until the last episode to TRY to make Jen likable?

Noa/Jen/Shawn storyline was really the biggest failure of this season and really dragged the quality down for me. As if there were no consequences for Noa and Jen after stealing money and wrecking Shawn's car?? Then Noa stealing a car (which was justified in that situation). How are these two not in jail right now???

Overall

I feel like the episode had a good pace until the time jump they did after Tabby's test. It was way to rushed!

I think I'll have to rewatch this episode. Maybe the whole season to really know whether to like it or not. For now I actually think I prefer season 1 overall, which is really surprising to me. When the first two episodes came out I was sure I would love this season more. I know many hated the reveal of season 1. I don't remember my initial thoughts I had back then, but I still think I preferred that reveal for now. Even if it was a random twin situation 😭

And where was Ash?? I thought he would have a bigger part in the reveal.. Where were the moms? Where were the parents overall this season??

That's it for now. I hope I didn't miss anything. Maybe I'll have more thoughts after rewatching the entire season

[suekre]

My next OC for retrOCtober isn't exactly idiotverse related. I mean, he kinda is, but I'll get to that, eventually! 😂

This boy's name is Lukas, and I came up with him waaaayyyy back in the early 2000s, I'd say. He was my main protagonist in an RP I was writing with an old online friend back then, and we didn't start out with Lukas and the gang, he was already part of our "Next Generation" at the time - ah well, it's all a little hard to explain. The setting was still in good old Germany and it was basically your average, age-appropriate school drama, spiced with over-the-top drama for our characters aaaand whatnot, yadda yadda, blaaah blaaah.

Long ass explanation and soul searching under the cut:

Lukas kinda embodied every boy I couldn't have back then. I was never a shy kid, but for some reason my old friends abandoned me after we switched schools after 6th grade, and I wasn't able to make new friends either. All of a sudden, I was was rendered "uncool", I became the unpopular girl who went unseen by most, even by her own family. I am currently working through all this in therapy, so I won't get into that here; all we need to know is that my school years were mostly awful and I also didn't get my happy end at the end of the teen movie. The reality was cold and hard. No one really wanted me around most of the time. I was tolerated at best. It was a simple as that.

Back to this boy, though. As I said, Lukas was everything I ever yearned for. He was the type of guy I was crushing on HARD back in my teenage years, but he also represented a lifestyle I was craving. He was one of the happy-go-lucky and cool alternative rock guys, with that slight brush of arrogance and aloofness, not too much but juuuust enough to make him endearing and interesting. It was the shaggy hair for me, as well as the cool clothes, always a bit shabby but never too shabby; just shabby enough to look wonderfully effortless. The type of guy who hung out with the slim, cool and confident girls (I was very chubby back then. Not a problem, you say? Yeah, no, try being a chubby teenage girl in the early 2000s.), who was always surrounded by friends, who everyone just knew and liked!

The type of guy I could only admire from a distance. A Lukas would never have looked my way, not even for a second.

That RP was fun for a good while, but things went downhill at some point, the way my friend wanted things to go was quite different from what I wanted. Even back then I wanted to weave in details, flesh out side characters, write actual character development… all things my friend didn't care about, she only wanted to play the main couples and that just no longer sat well with me after a while. These poor fictional people were barely in their twenties and had already faced lifelong drama, had several kids, faced gun violence… everything that could happen had happened to these young characters already. Everything, and a lot more. It was just FAR too unrealistic for my own taste.

I wasn't allowed to bring my own original ideas in, which is why I started molding and shaping our universe to my own liking. All in secret, of course. I scrapped most of the ridiculous things that had happened in the RP, rewrote the things I still liked and started writing the things I was never allowed to write. One by one, I scrapped/remodeled/replaced my friend's characters, too. Did that for a while, and it was fun in a way, but at the time (2007, 2008??) I had also discovered deviantart and wanted to be a part of that. I twisted and tweaked my universe here and there, but nothing would really fit or flow enough for me to say "Yup, that's it, that's what I'm gonna show the world!" so I went with various fanart for a while.

(I feel like mentioning that there was also a blue-eyed Lukas at some point, an alternate version of him who was basically the same person, and the universe had about the same tone, but he had a different circle of friends and everything was entirely free from the influence of the RP but that's a different story. 😂)

In 2008 or 2009 I discovered Tess Stone and his awesome work. I was drawn in first by his attempted webcomic "Without Void", but then he started writing "Hanna Is Not A Boy's Name" and maaaan, did that comic hit hard! The way it became popular, the way countless people were following it, bombarding Tess with questions and inquiries; and the way Tess managed to show his characters in all those funky and colourful artworks, the way he did all this so effortlessly… damn, I wanted that, too. I wanted it so bad. The comic and the ongoing hype really inspired me to try and get my own stuff out there.

My universe just kinda wasn't it, at least not the way it still was back then. I had enjoyed working on and off on it in private, but it never felt enough and it also never felt quite like "my own". Even though I had dropped most influences of my friend (the friendship was long over at the time), it still didn't feel quite right.

So Lukas and the others went through some changes, again. First of all, I went international. Lukas himself was still German, but he was now an immigrant living in the USA. I tried to make a supernatural world with zombies, I tried writing vampires and whatnot… ugh, I tried so many things but nothing really stuck with me. At some random point I had an idea, quite out of the blue, I think. I wanted to keep Lukas in the universe, but not the way he used to be. I had tried everything after all, but nothing really worked out. My gaze fell on his daughter instead, who was still a child in my then-universe.

That child was none other than my character Charlie. I aged Charlie up, she was now a 20-year-old college kid. I gave her her own environment, and I kept Lukas and the gang as the "first generation". And all of a sudden, I was hooked. I was in it for real this time. Everything just started coming to me. The experimental season 1 of my universe was born.

SO, in a way, that kid up there is THE original idiotverse character. The one everything else stemmed from. He was SO deserving of this redraw, I'd say. 😂

[fosermi]

<3

-

Wade loved cuddling with his boys. It was his favorite thing about the kids, especially when it was cold outside. He would get a warm fire going in the wood-burning stove, get out that queen sized blanket and snuggle up on the couch with them. Silver on his right and Shadow on his left.

And things couldn't be more perfect.

Sometimes it was watching a movie, sometimes it was the boys playing on their switch while Wade was doing his own thing. No matter what though, it was great.

And then their family got a bit bigger. It turned out Shadow had a twin brother.

Years ago, when Shadow had been ejected from the Ark, he thought his siblings that were left behind that died. One of them had, but the other, his brother, had survived. Eclipse had been taken by GUN and trained to become a weapon.

Wade didn't know all the details, mostly because Eclipse didn't talk too much. Shadow insisted he could talk, but so far, he had never heard his voice.

Privately, Wade was concerned about him. Eclipse was the same height and size as him, had been raised and trained as a weapon and was now living in his house. While he didn't think the darkling wanted to be a threat, Wade could see how he had the potential to become dangerous quickly.

But Eclipse was also Shadow's brother and Shadow adores him. The hedgehog was so much happier having him here. There was no way Wade couldn't take him in, especially after everything the poor kid had gone through.

It would be an adjustment for sure. And Eclipse would need therapy, a lot of therapy. But even that couldn't start until he started learning how to trust again. A therapist wouldn't be any help if the poor guy couldn't even talk to anyone.

One evening, Wade sat down on the couch and Silver was next to him almost right away, curling up into his side. "Hey," Wade said, stroking his ears. "You want to get the blanket?"

A minute later, Silver had it and everyone was settling down on the couch. It seemed like it would be another cozy night. Then Eclipse slowly came lumbering around the corner.

"Hey buddy," Wade said gently. "You doing okay?"

Eclipse glanced over at Shadow and then back to Wade.

"You want to join us?" Shadow said.

When Silver looked toward him, Wade nodded, "come on, you're welcome to come over."

It took a few seconds, but slowly, Eclipse did just that, taking his time settling himself under the blanket, next to his brother.

Wade smiled, he had Silver on one side, Shadow on the other and Eclipse next to Shadow. Everyone was cuddled up and comfortable.

Everyday, Wade relaxed a little bit more around him. Especially in moments like this.

Maybe in the future, they would learn more about what happened to Eclipse, they could learn how to help him. But for now, it enough to just make sure he felt loved and safe.

AMES AMES PLEASE AMES IM BEGGING IM SO SOFT FOR THESE GUYS

[letitrainathousandflames]

Did the bathroom stall person STAY a stranger?

N-S-F-W and definitely TMI content ahead lmao:

He did, the poor fellow! Here's some backstory to explain how on earth my shy-as-hell dumbass worked the courage to have some bathroom stall shenanigans:

So I started dating this classmate in highschool, (the one I often refer to as "the deceased" bc he's dead to me) and he was a major asshole. Emotionally abusive, controlling, made me feel bad about literally every single thing I enjoyed, especially writing fanfiction and not being a boring piece of shit like he was.

Welp! I spent like a decade with this bastard bc he was a classic abusive dickhead who pushed my friends away and I couldn't see that he was a major asshole until I started therapy. When I was 26 my therapist, clever lady she was, knew I was suffering but also v attached to him still, so she suggested us to "take a break". Not breaking up, just take a break, for one month, and reevaluate the relationship.

I spent a long time moping over him but my bestie said "wait does that mean I can finally take you clubbing?" and I proceeded to have an absolute blast dancing and having fun with her!

The second time we went clubbing, it was a star wars themed party! I went as a cute padmé amidala, and spent the night dancing and watching snippets of SW movies that played on the big screens, explaining to my very confused bff who's never watched a star war in her life why I was attracted to the angry looking alien with horns and red skin w/ black tattoos - darth maul. She remained confused.

(Fun fact, I'm autistic and loud environments make me literally sick, but I think I needed this freedom so badly my brain let me have these moments for once. Now I literally cannot enter a club. Anyway.)

While we're dancing, a handsome clone-trooper looking type walked past us and I think I gave him such an eye-fucking of a look that he made a beeline to me and took me to dance (I gave a thumbs-up to my bff bc she is v protective and will push creepy dudes away from me, bless her).

Then we started kissing and fooling around in a corner, and the guy invited me over to his place.

(here's the thing, my ex literally acted like sex was a chore. I repeatedly, gently asked him whether he was asexual, promising to be okay with it if it was the case but he swore he wasnt which. made me feel like I was very unappealing and did a number on my self-esteem. Oof.)

So I was pent up as hell and desperate for a fuck, especially a fuck with an enthusiastic guy for once in my life. On the other hand, girls that go with strangers to their place might be raped or killed. So when I said no, the guy suggested we fucked in the bathroom.

Now, that wouldn't be proper ladylike behavior, i reasoned with myself, while fully cupping the guy's groin with my hand. So I said a very unconvincing no, and the guy asked if I was sure, and I said "we might be caught", and he said "not if we're quiet"

...and goddamnit I was so damn horny and I can't even blame it on being drunk bc I don't drink alcohol out bc it makes me sleepy. This was 100% horny brain in charge and I was the one to actually pull the guy into the bathroom with me.

(We're gonna fade to black here bc I'm not willing to share those details here, but I can point out the funny bits):

there wasn't enough room in that bathroom stall for someone to pee comfortably, much less for two people to squeeze in and do the horizontal vertical tango

if you ever wanna do that, do that early in the night, not after dancing for hours because your knees will want to buckle the entire time and that's not hot

be smart and have condoms in your bag. wrap it up, folks. it's the 21st century and everyone who's sexually active should have their protection regardless of gender or lack thereof <3

the sound of toilets flushing nearby is quite the mood-killer, but if the music drowns out most of it, one can make it work

do not laugh when your very worried friend who's been looking for you all night calls out your name in the bathroom, trying to find you

Tell her you'll be right out and try to wriggle out of the arms of the dude who seems to have fallen in love with you or something.

Thank you for the fun times, catch his phone number or contact info of any kind

loudly announce you and the friend are both leaving to give the poor fella hidden in a stall in the lady's bathroom a window of time to escape unseen

forget you had his contact info for three months bc you are ADHD, aaand now it's too awkward to send a text of 'hey its bathroom stall girl, how's it going?'

[alittlefrenchtree]

oh one more question if I may: I would really like to know your impressions and opinions on all of us strangers 🥰

(then when we're ready we'll talk about duneeeee)

I often walk into screening rooms with very little knowledge about the movie I’m going to watch. All of us Strangers was one of them. I knew Andrew Scott and Paul Mescal were there, and I was pretty sure it was a love story without being certain of anything.

It was indeed a love story. And it wasn’t at the same time. At least not only, not to me.

I’m convinced that All of Us Strangers is the kind of movie everybody sees a little bit differently, depending on who they are and what their story is.

Undoubtedly, All of Us Strangers is a movie about grief, about love and about that delicate balance between being alone and feeling lonely. But, for me, all of this is quite secondary. For me All of Us Strangers is a movie about what it feels to be a writer. Or probably what it feels to be an imaginary/creative person, but mostly a writer. As the major part of my self definition is about writing, it was about being a writer for me.

For myriad reasons, I rarely feel like i’m watching a representation of myself on screen. I felt that with Her (Spike Jonze, 2013) in a level that was a bit life changing, and I felt a little bit of that with the Banshees of Inisherin (Martin McDonagh, 2022), on a more minor scale. Not to much through a character I would see myself in, but through the idea. The idea of love in Her, a bizarre idea of intellectual curiosity about friendship in the Banshees and the idea of being a writer with All of Us Strangers.

It’s quite bizarre for me -- who is as much a weirdo as an intellectual snob -- to watch something and feel seen, feel like someone, somewhere is thinking the way I think. It actually reminds me of something I learned in philosophy class (see, intellectual snob) in high school. The memory is freaking old (I’m ancient) so I don’t remember the name of the guy or how he put it exactly BUT the rough idea is: a poor man with the ability to dream himself as a king every night, in a coherent scenario that would goes on and on night after night, would be as (if not more) happy than a king who would dream himself as a poor man every night.

The idea has stuck with me and I think the movie is exactly about that. About the power of imagination, about the importance of what’s inside your head, about how your brain can be your worst enemy but also your biggest ally and provides you everything you need and everything life can’t give you if you know how to use it. About how little you need irl if you know how to navigate through all the realms that exist inside your head.

It’s funny because very different people would watch the movie and mostly see the sadness and the loneliness of it, which is entirely valid as well and, like I said, depends mostly of who you are.

Obviously Andrew’s and Paul’s performances are very good and the movie is beautiful but what I took away with me was the idea and the writing of the said idea.

But what I love even more is how the movie stayed with me ever since I've watched it. When I’ve seen it my thought was indeed "it was good but so sad lol" and all of this wanking and overthought ideas haheves developed in my head over the past two weeks because I think about it so often.

Anyway, I’m not sure you’ve asked for a half-review, half-self-therapy answer but this is what you’re getting anyway 😅 Thank you so much (again) for asking me this 💜 I was looking for an opportunity to write this but I’m pretty sure I wouldn’t have without your ask 🫂

(i'm not sure i'll ever find the right words to talk about dune omg 😱)

[my-lover]

2/3 through s2 character updates

Chase-genuinely was confused he was Australian and not British NOT because I’m ignorant lol but because before I ever saw House I was obsessed with Jesse Williams character in Winning London, the Mary Kate and Ashley Olsen movie in which he plays a British man! Him almost clapping after House is finished juggling and says “what, no applause?” This poor boy has so many daddy issues

Foreman-honestly love him! I appreciate his level-headedness and his ability to relate to patients. He’s not blindly compassionate like Cameron but he cares a lot and uses what he has to to get through to people. I didn’t think he needed to try being the boss lmao but I get why he thought he did

Cameron-oh sweetheart. I feel like we’ve seen a dip in her after the beginning of s2, and it’s not her fault! Like the writers are kinda just ignoring her after the House stuff so I’m waiting for them to remember we love her again

House-what is he dooooing to poor Wilson like you’re gonna stop him from moving but then be a dick?? Is this because he’s worried they’re getting too close and needs to pull pigtails to cover his tracks? While not wanting to actually put distance between them and let him move out.

Wilson-we all love Wilson but my god if I had a friend irl that could not stop cheating on his partners I’d be so over him!! Please sir go to therapy!! Which is funny because he’s always telling House he should be bettering himself.

Do you have any favorite episodes in season 1 or 2 (before episode 17 because I’m on 16 as we speak)?

"Jesse Spencer LMAOO Jesse Williams is of course another dreamy doctor from Grey’s Anatomy House just wants to push Wilson so much to see if he’ll still love him 😭 my guy 😭 just ask for a kiss"

LOVEEE your thoughts so far omg !! it's so interesting seeing it from someone else's perspective !! i think you got it so right. the writers definitelyy forget cameron exists for an arc or two, haha, but i do really enjoy what they /eventually/ end up doing with her character. i really liked foreman for a while ! the end of season 2 flipped that on its head, though, and now i kind of just appreciate him for what he does to the plot / story structure

AND YESSS i just finished s2 on my own rewatch, and the hilson moments are CRAZY !! insane !! i adore their domestic era, but god house is possibly the worst roommate i can imagine hahah and yes !! i loveee wilson, but omg he would drive me insane. i think it's hilarious how big of a hypocrite he is and i love him for it

i think my favourite eps are definitely house & wilson's prank war in s2, and i just adore three stories from s1 !! what about you ??

and also i cracked UP at jesse williams hahaha omg i also love him in grey's <33

[maroonghoul]

Horror Movie’s I just watched: May 2023

Shorter list this time. Here we go:

Resurrection (2022) I saved this one for Mother’s day because I heard the main character was a Mom. I was a bit afraid it wouldn’t factor into the plot that much, but I was reassured, especially with the final scene.

This is another one, kinda like Censor, where the whole thing might be in the protagonist's head. Where she’s so wound up tight at the beginning that her daughter’s accident only starts the ball rolling in her head some nightmarish fantasy of the worst case scenario. It helps that we never got any confirmation about whether of not Tim Roth’s character was a hallucination or anyone else can see him. Hell, given that we never get a flashback with him and his first lines is him saying he doesn’t recognize her, there’s a disturbing possibility that he is real, but is some poor guy who just looks way too much like her ex and she’s hallucinating everything he said. And that final reveal about the baby actually being inside him is too surreal and supernatural to not have heavy implications if it wasn’t in her head.

Granted, like the best of ambiguous films, the story works regardless if this theory is right or not. The point is, externally or internally, this character is tormented. I feel like the moral of this story is; Girlbossing can only help you in limited ways. When it come to trauma as severe as this, try to find therapy. Though given our culture, she still probably couldn’t. It’s not fair.

Mad God Here was a movie I couldn’t take my eyes off, and I still feel like I missed a few things. That’s how striking the imagery was. I don’t know what I can add to what’s already been said about the themes that others haven’t already. Cycles of violence not solving anything, the de-personification of mass labor, civilizations rising and falling again despite the sacrifices; those are what I can glean. Also, being reminded at various points of Eraserhead, Fallout New Vegas, Metropolis, and Cemetery Man. Probably not even half of that was intentional. 

It just wows me. Any one of the creatures in this could be the centerpiece or high point of any other film. Stop motion really has become a lost art. Sure, we know now a big reason why studios heavily prefer CGI, despite how good it actually looks, is cheaper and faster to make then any other effect. But works like this show that, if you’re actually comfortable letting film take as much time as it needs and use as much money as possible to make it look good (Better there than some executive’s overstuffed salary), you’ll allow a lot more variety in how each film is made and look. Gee, it’s almost like time crunches and trying to save money is actually bad for the product. WhO kNeW?

Scare Me I recognized the male lead, Josh Ruben, from CollegeHumor. And after that, this whole movie, to me, played like an extended Hardly Working sketch. I’m not sure if that’s good or bad.

I was worried a whole movie mostly about two people (briefly three) telling scary stories, and not actually showing us the stories, would look too cheap. Thankfully, there were some technical flourishes. The performances, including the bits their characters acted out so they’re effectively a performance in a performance, are good even if the stories themselves are hit or miss. 

The first werewolf one is just goofy, but that’s intentional. The Grandpa one is ok, even if it’s a touch ableist at a point. The troll’s a bit fun. And the “deal with the devil” one has a fun payoff. 

What this actually ends up being about, insecure white male (maybe?) getting violent with his more successful female colleague was pretty inevitable given how passive-aggressive they both are. Honestly, that they’re both such a-holes help kept what would be a too uncomfortable situation pretty light. You can mark this as another case of “actor known for comedy taking a serious villain role to show their range” movie, like Robin Williams. This was effective enough here, though I don’t know if it would work for him outside of it. 

Final note (and mild spoiler for two films), can’t help but felt like the mid-credit scene reminded of the very end of the 1982 movie Death Trap. Not sure if that movie was a direct inspiration for this. I saw that for the first time about a month ago so it’s fresh on my mind. Outside of that, this is pretty much a good hang-out horror movie. Especially for fans of the old College Humor.

That’s all for now. I’ll probably have less films to talk about next time, but I’ll try to make up for it in July.

[the-cat-chat]

January 7 - January 21, 2023

John Wick: Chapters 1-3 (2014-2019)

A neo-noir action thriller film series that follows John Wick, a former assassin, who is forced back into the criminal underworld he had abandoned.

JayBell: I love a good retired assassin seeks vengeance story arc. It may not be original, but it’s fun and over the top. And it’s Keanu Reeves!

This was not my first time watching the John Wick movies or even my second. Now I have to admit, they aren’t perfect movies. Keanu Reeves’ dialogue is a little too strangely stilted at times, which I guess is a purposeful stylistic choice on his part? At times it’s like every word is being dragged from him slowly and tortuously. Although this does fit his emo character, so there’s that.

I think my biggest gripe with these movies (specifically the 2nd and 3rd) is that when John is fighting like a mob of a hundred nondescript people in masks or helmets, they don’t always fight back as much as you’d think they would. Yeah I know John is like super skilled and everything and they’re in pain after being punched and thrown around, but sometimes they kind of just lay there slightly too long without struggling. It’s as if they’re just waiting for John to kill them.

Other than that one thing, I really enjoy the fight scenes. I don’t care much about car chase or motorcycle chase scenes, but I love close-quarter fight choreography in movies. I also like that the first movie introduces the rules of this criminal underworld, and the second and third movies flesh it out a lot further. This gives the movies a sense of development and greater worldbuilding. They also strike the right balance between realism and fantasy.

As a character, John Wick can be so dramatic. I love that he wears his little dark suits whenever he needs to conduct “business.” I propose that he shows up in the next movie in a bright Hawaiian shirt and flip flops. How many ways can John Wick kill someone with a flip flop? Stay tuned for John Wick Chapter 6: Beach Vacation Vengeance. But seriously, the series is about a man dealing with grief (or failing to deal with his grief), and man does he need some therapy.

P.S. Can you believe that all the shenanigans in 3 movies happen in like the span of a few weeks?

P.P.S. Charon doesn’t get paid enough for all this.

Rating: 7.5/10 cats 🐈

Anzie:

John Wick 1

I was pleasantly surprised with watching John Wick. Not that I thought it was going to be a dumb action movie but how is it possible there’s multiple?? Like please don’t turn Keanu Reeves into Bruce Willis. But Keanu Reeves could never disappoint. For the first one I think a lot of the intro about who the character John Wick is was really good and not cheesy and was more just like giving the general vibe of “yeah no we’re all scared of him and you’re dead dude.” I do wanna comment on the music bc it’s not annoying but it somehow feels like it’s either making fun of the seriousness but also perfect for the seriousness? I really like the hotel and the concierge guy, and I think overall it’s fun bc you know how this is going to go bc hey it’s John Wick- but it’s not really formulaic how most action movies go. I have strong convictions that John Wick is John Constantine’s new identity (or at least the alternate universe version ) and I’m glad to see he’s given up smoking.

John Wick 2

Soo I have no comments excepted that Italian guy’s a slimeball. And poor John Wick. And are people still trying to kill John Wick. They’re all like “Oh JOHN WICk 0—o, he’s so bad, I can take him.” Idiots.

——-The Italy Continental is way more swanky and the tailor and weapons vibe is cool but a lil weird. The whole pigeon man thing seems weird too like honestly he didn’t need him- he’s kill people with a PENCiL as we’ve heard multiple times. I’m sure he could’ve got creative for a few seconds - since he already had to steal the other gunS. And Laurence Fishburn’s incessant laughing. The mirror/fun house thing was nuts. Anyyyway like I said poor John Wick.

John Wick 3 Parabellum

I have to say the best part of this movie was probs the horse. Forget John Wick can use a pencil to kill a man - he knows how to use a horse as a weapon. I also just wanna know how the normal people in this movie act - like there should just be extra scenes past the credits that are normal people saying “You’ll never believe what I saw today when I was on my lunch break,” or the news covering “Breaking News: 45 Russian Men Found Dead in a Warehouse Used for an Illegal Car Ring.” But I digress, as the third film of this series it holds up solid and was enjoyable- and I KNOW the plot is every contract killer in the world is trying to kill John Wick but it felt a tad heavy on the fight scene- like they were just realllllly looong. (I KNOW OkAY). But let’s just say if everyone’s getting all high and mighty about the rules and EVERYONE KNOWS EVERYTHING- they should know Santino’s a weasel right?? And that’s my qualm. Shouldn’t this bounty have really been for Santino? Espppecially considering he was manipulating the HIGH TABLE??? But whatever.

Rating: 7/10 Puppers 🐶

(SORRY John Wick😬)

[ecclesiaautemperfectum]

I woke up after exactly six hours of sleep. Weird fucking dreams the whole time, upset stomach, and constantly thinking about if I'm doing something wrong being with this guy.

A part of it too is just how relationship resistant Ive been for so long. The "I don't need anyone to feel fulfilled" and it's like Im lying to myself that this is the right person because I'm just bored and trying something new. I call it growth but what if its distraction? I'm ace too and I can't help that part of my brain that says he still wants me to do that with him even if I'm not into it. I feel like a toy. That makes me worry he won't think I'm resistant if I don't care either way.

It feels like a massive mistake. Once I'm trapped in a marriage that's it. He's already seeing me as long term. That should be the dream. Right? That they won't get cold feet and drop me? But it also feels too far ahead when I still don't feel we've made a proper bond. He's thinking those things too soon. Which in and of itself scares me. He probably doesn't even realize.

At least I'm not hungry? And yeah eggs was a horrible idea, especially in that quantity. I made eggs for my mother and I messed them up so I ate twice as much as planned.

Upside, I'm up early. Downside, it's Saturday and I have no reason to be up. Also, mom is still up (weird schedule on her end because of job) and she typically watches movies and quite frankly I don't feel like talking to her/getting trapped watching with her.

Idk why I'm using this to journal. No one will see it. But maybe it's the thought someone might. I need someone outside of me to tell me if this is a mistake or not. I blew off my one friend. I AM the goddamn red flag. I'm alone of my own making. I can't even blame anyone. I just wish I was a healthy person. Like well adjusted, no weird childhood, perfectly average. I'm tired of feeling different and like I have to unpack my entire existence at every turn just to do basic things. A part of me wishes I never heard of therapy but not having self awareness would be far worse. I mean self diagnosing is shit and probably confusing me worse. I collect diagnoses/personality labels like Pokemon but shit dawg I'm poor. :(( I'm doing the best with what I have.

I guess instead of going back to bed, I'll read for a bit. Haven't done that properly in a while. This gives a good excuse to do so. Maybe later I can finish watching Arcane since I haven't done that either. I've been so preoccupied with figuring this whole relationship out that I'm not being a person anymore. The cry goes out once more "why can't I just be freaking normal!" You'd think this thought would improve with age but it's souring like milk.

[privilege-rpg]

TINA COHEN-CHANG

☆ FULL NAME: Tina Ari Cohen-Chang ☆ GENDER: Ciswoman ☆ PRONOUNS: She/Her ☆ AGE: 30 (April 16th, 1994) ☆ TYPE: Adopted sibling; solo ☆ HOMETOWN: Los Angeles, California ☆ JOB: Makeup Artist on teen drama Rhapsody  ☆ SCHOOL: PSU Alumni ☆ SEXUALITY: Pansexual ☆ FACECLAIM: Ashley Park

ABOUT TINA

Tw: racism, adoption, cults, abandonment, theft

Tina was born in Seoul, South Korea to a poor unwed mother, other the that, that’s all she knows. When she was adopted, her parents were featured in People magazine so everyone knew before her parents explained to her. It was in the 1st grade when she finally learned when a boy came up to her saying, “My mom told me that your mom bought you for the fame.” She came home very upset, but her parents explained that her birth mother gave her up to have a better life. Then they bought her a new barbie dream house, and never really talked about it again. Tina would smile for the pictures every time a new sibling was adopted or her parents showed off the family in their annual holiday card, and it reminded Tina every time that she was adopted, and that she didn’t look like her family. Her own birth mother left her to a family who left her to be raised by nannies. It hurt a lot, espically when kids would hurl racist comments at her, calling her names and pulling their eyes back. Shortly after Tina’s youngest sibling was adopted, Tina’s dad joined a cult. She’s not even really sure what the cult is about, as her father was secretive about it. Before she could really even understand it, her dad was off to Oregon to live on the compound, leaving Tina, her mom, and siblings behind. It wasn’t a total loss to her per se, as her dad wasn’t around that much, but it left her feeling abandoned, once again.  

She couldn’t exactly pin point what made her start to shoplift, but her shrink she says it had to do with her dad leaving and joining a cult. She was 13 when she first stole a lipstick while out at Sephora with her friends. It wasn’t like she didn’t have the money, but she found herself picking it up and slipping it into her pocket. She was never punished since, well everyone knew who her parents were. She eventually started to shoplift more, the act giving her a rush of emotions she couldn’t even explain. It wasn’t until she stole a $400 pair of sunglasses, where the store owns brought charges to her. She got away with community service and was sent to therapy. It helped, talking about her feelings but Tina would never admit it to anyone. In therapy, she was encouraged to start dressing how she wanted, not what her mother chose for her or what her friends liked. Tina started dressing gothic, after discovering Twilight. She devoted book after book, movie after movie. Her mom was slightly horrified, but also too busy to care.

Her mom pushed her (more like demanded) to go to PSU. She didn’t want to go at first, rather spending her days listening to emo music, doing her makeup, and reading. She was also not sure what she wanted to do in life. After all, she saw her mother act in films, but Tina was not confident like that. After a talk with a college counselor, Tina chose cosmetology. She always liked watching beauty bloggers (her mom never let her have a YouTube since she didn’t want Tina exposing all the family lore) and trying out daring looks on her. While at PSU, she took a class called Introduction to Feminism. It was mostly because the TA was a guy Tina had a crush on that lived in her dorm. He was tragically gay, but she found herself enjoying the class as it went on. She added Gender Studies as a minor. This lead her to become more confident in herself, as she learned that she had a purpose in life other than just being a rich women. She didn’t need a man to make her happy. She had a purpose in life and she was a powerful woman. Tina also discovered that she didn’t just like guys and girls, but rather people. She fell in love with a person, not a gender. 

Once she graduated, it left her not knowing what to do with her life. For a while, she lived at home. Her mother pushed her to get a job, and she worked on the sets of her mother’s films as a makeup artist, mostly being in the shadows. No one really wanted to mess with the nepo baby, so she was given tasks, but not major. Tina didn’t mind too much, she liked having the free time to do makeup on the side as a freelancer. While on set of one of her mother’s films, she got discovered by a producer who saw her sketchbook. He was creating a show about teenage partiers and thought Tina’s work fit his characters. He recruited her, loving her fancy looks she made, feeling as though. It took awhile for the show to happen, but eventually Tina landed the position of lead makeup artist on the hit teen show, Rhapsody. 

FAMILY BACKGROUND

(tw cheating, adoption, cults) Asher Cohen and Hannah Chang met on the set of a romance movie and quickly fell in love, despite Asher being on a relationship with another actress at the time. Soon after the film was released, they came public with their relationship, boosting sales for the film. A year later, they were married in a lavish ceremony, featured in People Magazine. They tried to have children, but Hannah could not get pregnant. So the couple decided to adopt. The couple became known for their adoptions, each adoption making the front page of People Magazine. They were raised by a slew of nannies, their parents too busy acting. When they did actually parent, it was only for the red carpet or for magazine shoots. Soon after they adopted their youngest, Asher joined a cult and left his family and Hollywood. Hannah is still acting and exploits her now grown children on social media, trying to paint them as the perfect single mom with her perfect little adopted family. 

[crownedcrowrow]

(Alright here's the rant, there's art at the end if you don't feel like reading)

2k3 Leonardo and Rise! Raphael have so much more in common than I would have guessed despite the many differences between them. Specifically their roles in their respective teams, being the leader or the responsible sibling. Both had to grow up too quickly in my opinion, we can clearly see that both are much more mature than their brothers. (This is more of a head cannon but this is why I assume that's the reason they both are shown to own a teddy bear as I mention in the post that started me on this rant.) 

To get into the more specific observations, neither one of them asked to be the leader. They just kind of fell into the role because, well, who else would?

In the Rise Movie there was a storyboard that didn't make the final cut. As Raph is talking to Leo Raph states that he never wanted to be leader, he was the oldest and it was his responsibility to look after his brothers. In the episode  “Samurai Tourist”, Usagi has a conversation with Leo. Usagi says,” Your eyes betray you, they show me the oppressive burden you have chosen to shoulder.” Leonardo responds with, “ Someone has to.” 

Onto my next point. OH MY GOD these poor CHILDREN are so sick with worry and anxiety that they bottle up for the sake of those around them. They are constantly worried about doing a good job and making sure their brothers don't die while also focussing on keeping calm to set a good example. Not to mention there are times they are teased by their brothers for trying to do what they can to make the team stronger. I sincerely don't think their brothers do it on purpose, they just can't relate, therefore they just view it as meaningless team building and extra training. But when there is a close call, it is the leaders fault, after all, a leader is supposed to be able to protect their team. If something goes wrong, if someone gets hurt, or ends up dead, the leader should. Have. Done. Better. They should have found a way out or made a better call, right? Anything it takes to make sure everyone gets out alive, even if it means to sacrifice yourself for the sake of your team. Or at least this is their mindset. We see this demonstrated many times with both characters, Whether it’s Raph throwing himself off a clif to help his brothers ulcock their mystic powers or taking a stab through the shell to protect his little brother. For Leo, whether it's jumping head first into tricky situations to protect his brothers or fighting the Shredder all by himself, even choosing to take on the burden of beheading the Shredder by himself and living with the knowledge of what he did just to make sure no more harm would come to his family. But when their brothers don't listen to them or worse openly ignore them, it gets frustrating and eventually that pent up frustration is going to cause “the cork to pop off the unopened bottle.” 

“I'm the oldest here. I'm responsible for keeping us safe and making sure we can handle anything that comes our way, because if I dont we could all end up dead. “

“We stopped half! And only because we got lucky! Is that good enough for you? IS IT? We're always one step behind! We act like a bunch of amateurs! How many times are we gonna get beaten before you guys wise up and realize this isn't a game!?”

To put that all into simple terms, they need so much therapy. Specifically group therapy with Rise! Mikey's “doctor delicate touch” as their therapist. I also just like to think that if Raph or Leo start to think a bit too much about their shell scars and how they got them, their brothers would put gold painto over the edge, kind of like Kintsukuroi. ( If you want to know more about it look it up, I don’t feel that it’s my place to talk on behalf of the Japanese practice. Just think it's really neat and has a beautiful message behind it. Since the turtles are of Japanese descent I figured Splinter would have told his sons about it.) Anyway thank you for coming to my Ted Talk! 

As a thanks for making it through my rant here's some art of the bois.

[holyfruitsnax]

Comfort

Summary: After May passed, Peter had it rough. It’s been a year now and you’re noticing some healing both mentally, and physically.

Pairing: Peter Parker x Reader

Warnings: Depression/ eating disorder spoken about briefly, slightly self conscious Peter, fluff none the less, cursing of course

  You’d gone with Peter to May’s funeral and supported him as much as possible. He’d lost everyone but you, and at this point, you weren’t sure how much more the poor guy could take. Immediately after everything happened, Peter put his suit away, opting to just stay home and bury himself alive with sadness. The two of you talked about therapy, but Peter didn’t really want to. So, you gave him time. His weight had dropped drastically within the first few weeks of his mourning, which worried you to no end. He wasn’t really eating, leaving, or even showering. You figured if you didn’t live there too the apartment would be a wreck, but you stayed patient and made sure Peter knew you loved him.

  It was a good sign when Peter texted and asked if you wanted to go see a movie together while you were at work one day, things were finally getting better. It’s been a year since May passed, a year since Peter asked you to move in, and a year of progress. Today was the day you finally notice that physically. Opening the door to your apartment Led Zepplin blasted into the hall before you shut it behind yourself. Kicking off your shoes you smiled watching Peter dance around singing along with his music “Have a good day babe?” He called out looking in your direction, taking a bite of a sandwich he’d made himself, sauntering over to you. “It was alright yeah.” You sighed shrugging off your coat, Peter taking it into his hands to hang it on the rack. “Tough day?” Peter raised a brow, placing his chin atop your head. “Sort of, it’s alright though. Mostly just inconvenient.” You smiled feeling your boyfriends’ arms wrap around you as he pressed himself close to your back, forcing you to walk towards the sofa.

  That’s when you noticed. Instead of a firm six back, you felt a soft layer of love pressing against your spine. “They lost a file I need to finish up one of my tasks with another company, without it I’ll be behind.” You sighed turning around in his arms. “I’m sure it’ll all be fixed tomorrow. They’ll find the file.” Peter hummed turning so his back landed against the sofa taking you with him. Propping yourself up, you straddled Peter’s lap to get a good look at him. “What?” He smiled up at you slightly confused. “Nothing, I’m just checking you out~ Is that okay?” you smiled back making Peter laugh. “By all means.” He winked folding one of his arms behind his head/

  Peter wasn’t overly chubby, but he definitely had a little fluff to him. His chest and arms still held muscle, there was just a soft layer to them now. His cheeks seemed a bit puffier, but the biggest difference was his tummy. His soft pale skin peeking from under the bottom of his grey t-shirt ever so slightly, and oh so tempting to squish. “You’re so cute.” You cooed cupping Peter’s face in your hands pressing a sugary kiss to his lips. “What’s gotten into you.” Peter chuckled furrowing his brows, not minding the baby treatment though.

  You answered by lifting the hem of his shirt, letting your hand run across Peter’s soft abdomen. He froze. “Oh...You noticed that?” Peter’s cheeks suddenly tinged a shade deeper as he scratched the back of his neck. “I mean, I’m kinda...” Peter sat up a little keeping you in his lap, using one hand to poke his own stomach. “Out of shape I guess.” He dropped his head a little, feeling embarrassed that he’d let himself get ‘sloppy’ in his mind. “I’ll have to find a gym or something nearby, to fix this.” Peter gestured over himself with a half laugh, falling back against the couch again slightly defeated. Oh Hell no.

 Noticing his change in demeanor you went into affection mode. Placing a kiss just above the waistband of Peter’s sweatpants you hummed, trailing up across his stomach making him gasp a little. “I don’t mind it baby. I think you’re incredibly sexy~” You reassured him with a purr, one hand pushing his shirt further out of the way so you could kiss up his chest as well. Peter settled hearing you say it was alright, “Are you sure?” His brows raised in surprise. “I mean I’ve never, you know. I’m usually.” He flexed his arm for emphasis, which still looked God like, making you roll your eyes and smile. “Yes Peter, I am one hundred percent content with the way you look...I’m relieved actually. You look good. Happy even.” You sat up letting his shirt fall back messily into place while he stared at you with half lidded eyes.

  “What?” You smiled back at him. “Nothing, nothing I just love you.” Peter pulled you up towards his face, one hand on your jaw the other on your lower back pressing your body flush with his own. “I love you too Petie.” You mumbled out before leaning into Peter’s lips, you could connect the dots on how your night was about to end.

I hope you enjoy Loves <3 -Snax

[bookishofalder]

Catfish & Sunshine

Frankie Morales x Fem!Reader Mini Series

Summary: Frankie is secretly in love with his best friend. Thanks in part to Benny’s shitty horror movie recommendation and stray ice cream, feelings come out unexpectedly during movie night. 

Warnings: Language, SMUT, little angst, lots of fluff, poor writer understanding of US military benefits/retirement. WC 8,215.

A/N: I dreamed this up after rewatching Triple Frontier about a month ago (for the plot, of course) and let it sit for a while. Became inspired to finish it off this week and share it with you all-so please let me know your thoughts!

For over a decade, Saturday nights were, for Frankie Morales, usually spent with his best friends over drinks at their favourite bar. When deployed, the bar was instead smuggled whiskey that they shared under the stars, an attempt to imagine they were anywhere other than the current hellhole. As Special Ops soldiers, Frankie and his buddies had been through the worst of the worst together, until one by one they retired or were forced to retire, and then they were back to regular appearances at the local bar, for a while the five of them, then four.

Until Frankie met you.

Had someone come up to him during one of those nights years before and told Frankie that one day he’d be bringing you along to the bar to join him and the guys, he’d have laughed in their faces. But for a while, that was exactly what occurred, until you and Frankie grew so close that you usually ended up making different plans, like going mini-golfing, or lounging at his apartment and watching movies. Not that you didn’t love the guys, all whom you’d met except for Santi as he had been off the grid for just over a year when you and Frankie had met.

It was thanks to the elder Miller brother, Will, that he had even met you at all. Working at the VA office, Will had learned of one of the few retirement perks they had for putting their asses on the line for their country-physical therapy. And you came highly recommended, a star PT who had worked magic over his friends' ailments. Knowing Frankie suffered from shoulder and neck pains, Will handed him your card and encouraged him to book an appointment.

He hadn’t called straight away. He’d popped your card onto his fridge and every day he’d pass by it, consider calling, and then talk himself out of it. Until the pain became too much to bear, his latest menial job just a little too physical for him, causing him to consider using again just to dull the ache. But he’d walked by your card moments later and instead of making a terrible decision he had promised himself he’d never make again, he called your office. Made an appointment with your friendly receptionist, who thankfully had his name already because Will had put in a good word for Frankie and asked that they try and get him in straight away, whenever he finally did call.

Two days later Frankie was standing nervously in the treatment room, looking at a wall decorated with your various degrees and certificates. He was anxious not only because he worried he’d get his hopes up that this would help the pain only to be disappointed, but also because he had no idea what to expect. Years of service as a pilot had made Frankie into a man who planned, meticulously, leaving little in the way of surprises. But he’d reasoned that calling the office back and demanding they give him a minute-by-minute account of what the appointment would be like was probably going too far.

And then you had walked in and immediately his worries morphed into concern over the fact that he required a beard trim, that he looked like he’d just rolled out of bed and popped his usual cap on, probably appearing a little gruff. And fuck, he almost couldn’t breathe when you gave him the most dazzling, genuine smile like you were greeting an old friend. You were bright, a rare energy radiating off of you as though you absorbed it straight from the fucking sun, and you were beautiful. No wonder Will had winked at Frankie when he’d handed you the business card.

You were observant, introducing yourself and seemingly sensing his overall discomfort. Instead of launching straight to business, you gestured for him to sit and spent a good twenty minutes casually chatting, pulling information you needed from him while putting him at ease entirely. He learned then that Will had already sung Frankie’s praises, given you the heads up that he was a worrier and even told a few stories that showcased his talents as a pilot.

If Frankie didn’t know any better, he’d think his friend was trying to play matchmaker.

All thoughts of Will Miller, and pretty much every other thing on the planet, vanished the moment you laid your expert hands on to Frankie. You zeroed in on the worst source of pain and slowly worked away, and he could only agree with Will that you had magic hands. He could have died happily right then, as you chatted away and brought him the most relief he’d felt in years. You would pause occasionally to check in with his pain levels and make sure he was doing alright, always asking him to look at you to answer and searching his face as he spoke to ensure he was telling the truth.

The care you gave Frankie in just one appointment was enough to start him falling. And he kept going back, multiple appointments a week that not only had him walking taller, feeling lighter on his feet and reducing his migraines to seldom, but also allowing him to get to know you better. You were the kind of sweet-natured person that cried when you saw a sad commercial, laughed freely to the lamest of jokes, and seemed to wake up on the right side of the bed every day. You were sunshine, literal, tangible sunshine, and Frankie thought you might not even realize it.

Though Frankie had convinced himself early on that a woman as beautiful and kind as you could never be interested in a grouch like him, with his crows' feet and a closet full of demons. The longer he knew you little seeds of hope would sprout whenever he made you laugh so hard you had to stop the treatment just to hold your stomach as you giggled. Or when you’d share something with him innocent enough but, upon reflection, he would think it wasn’t something a normal patient-provider relationship would find exchanged.

But there was the age difference, a decade between you both that, if nothing else worked, would successfully extinguish his hope. He had wondered if perhaps you were just a decent people person, that the friendship he felt was there was entirely one-sided.

Until one day, a few months into coming to you for treatment, Frankie sat waiting for you to come in the room only for you to appear looking entirely unlike yourself. He booked his appointments always for the end of the day, a routine that promised he would get plenty of uninterrupted time with you and the conversation could flow without a time constraint. He had been so surprised that you weren’t grinning as you stepped into the room that he stood abruptly, filling with concern.

When he asked, softly, if you were alright, you didn’t brush him off like he might have expected. You instead looked up at Frankie, your lower lip trembling as your eyes filled with tears, and sobbed unexpectedly. That sound had torn a hole right into his chest and he had pulled you straight into his arms and hugged you close before asking you to tell him what he could do to help.

You ended up explaining that you had come in that morning to the news that a regular patient of yours, an elderly man you’d known the entire time you’d been working for the VA office, had passed away in his sleep. And you’d apologized to Frankie while sniffling and wiping at the tears, telling him you’d held it in all day but couldn’t do that when your friend asked you, and he had been baffled to realize you were referring to him. As your friend.

He had cut off your apology to hug you close again, smoothing your hair gently as he whispered calming words and sentiments to you in Spanish. And though you didn’t speak the language, you had since told Frankie it had done exactly what he’d hoped and made you feel all the better. 

After his treatment that day, Frankie asked if he could take you for a drink to toast your friend's life. He waited for you to close up the office, and then you’d followed him in your car to drive over to his usual bar. And you both drank to the veteran who passed, then ended up ordering dinner and remaining at the bar until late, talking even more freely outside of the office. If Frankie didn’t already have it bad for you, that night sure sealed it for him.

After that, you and Frankie began texting regularly, sometimes even calling one another to share a funny story or talk about something in the news. He had joined you for your former clients funeral, his hand rubbing comforting circles into your back before he took you out for lunch, then you’d ended up at his place to watch a cheesy movie, ordering pizza when you both realized there was a sequel that, if it was as bad as the first, you absolutely needed to watch.

And just like that, Frankie saw his life altered completely when you became his best friend.  

Currently, Frankie was seated comfortably on his couch, where he frowned at the TV playing a horror movie that you had insisted was supposed to be good, because Benny had recommended it. Considering the younger Miller brother could barely sit still half the time, that was supposedly good enough for you. 

You were tucked into Frankie’s side, eyes fixed on the screen until a jump scare had you jerk, then twist your face to press into his chest, because you hated the gory bits.

“Fuck! How does this not scare you even a little, Frankie?” You whined, unknowingly causing Frankie to swell with pride when he heard the note of admiration in your voice. He had started to suspect that the reason movie nights were becoming exclusively scary movies was that you were determined to find one that actually frightened him.

So far, you’d had no luck. But Frankie didn’t mind, because though you were already a touchy person in general, you were especially clingy when you queued up the next horror flick as if you trusted him to keep you safe.

Frankie didn’t reply, his chest rumbling with silent laughter that made you teasingly poke his side. He jumped, because you knew exactly where to aim, then cleared his throat. The scene ended, and he began to extract himself from your grip. “My sweet tooth is calling, cariño. I’m going to get some ice cream.”

You let him go, your head popping up, a big grin on your face, “Can I have some too, please?” And he nodded, smiling at you before walking across the open concept apartment and into his kitchen.

He stretched his back before opening the freezer where he had some bars next to an off-limits pint of Ben and Jerry’s. You had put it there months ago, telling Frankie it was for days when you got together and one of you needed to cry over a bad date. You called it ‘emergency’ ice cream. Frankie considered it to be ‘fuck you’ ice cream, because every time he opened his damn freezer he saw that pint and ended up thinking about how neither of you had been on a date with anyone since becoming friends over a year before, then falling into the same circular argument with himself-that the friendship was too important for him to feel the way he did, that he was jumping to conclusions and maybe you had gone on a few good dates that you just didn’t tell him about, and he was out of his mind if he thought you would ever feel the same way.

“Here you go, Sunshine,” He plopped back down next to you and passed you your bar, watching as you beamed at him widely, the inevitable result of his use of the nickname he’d dubbed you with a long time ago.

He desperately hoped you never realized the amount of affection truly behind that nickname.

Because how could he even begin to explain that you were literally sunshine in his dark life?

“Thank you,” You pulled the wrapper off, glancing at the movie and frowning. “Uhg. Benny promised the one was good! I’m starting to think he only recommends movies if they have at least one pair of tits.” You took the first bite of your ice cream bar while Frankie nearly choked on his own.

Amused as he was whenever you joked about your shared friends, Frankie also loved it when you swore. You were a goofy, happy little thing most of the time and curse words just seemed so out of character for you, pulling laughter from Frankie any time you caught him by surprise. You spent your days around gruff veterans and never seemed to lose any light, no matter how many real horror stories you heard. So whenever you managed to sound so uncharacteristically blunt, he couldn’t help but laugh.

“Benny has always been a tits man,” Frankie agreed, and you giggled. He tried to refocus on the movie then, but it hadn’t captured his interest in the least. After a moment, you spoke again and he had to work on not choking.

“What are you, Francisco?”

Your tone was playful, light; Frankie’s head jerked in surprise to gaze down at you and you wiggled your brows, going for laughs. You seemed completely unaware of the roaring in his ears, the visceral reaction your words brought forth within him. You and Frankie had shared intimate tidbits like that before with one another, often during nights at the bar with the Miller brothers. After a few drinks and usually, because his friends knew exactly how he felt about you and tried to steer the conversations into dangerous waters and watch Frankie try to save himself.

Only, Frankie’s friendship with you during the last few months had become...deeper. After the operation Santiago had brought Will, Benny, Tom and him in on, your relationship had evolved. Because that nightmare had reminded Frankie just how dark shit could get in the blink of an eye, and he’d had to do things he thought he was done with when he retired from service. Worse, because they were just civilians using Santi’s connections and intel to rob a drug lord.

And you had no idea what he’d gone through, how hard he’d fought just to get home to you because he couldn’t-wouldn’t-tell you. Yet you still patched him up, physically and emotionally, when he’d come home three weeks later than he’d promised. You held him as he cried and never became angry with him, never questioned him for answers as to why he’d come home with one less friend and a whole lot of mysterious trauma.

After that, Frankie realized he was hopelessly, irrevocably in love with you.

So a simple, flirtatious little question? Yeah, it really managed to fuck Frankie up.

His friends had sensed the change as well, noticed how you held Frankie up when he felt like he couldn’t stand, how you comforted them all when they got home and cried along with them over Tom, over Santi not coming home even though you’d only met him once, briefly. You held strong for him at Tom’s funeral, which prompted the Miller brothers to tell Frankie in no uncertain terms that he simply could not let you slip through his fingers. If that fucking mission had taught them anything, it was that life was too short and you might as well live it to the fullest.

But the thing was, Frankie depended on you. Your friendship was the one real, good, pure thing in his life. And you gave it so willingly and unquestionably even after what he put you through that there was no fucking way he was risking it by telling you how he felt.

Christ, you even had a spot in his bathroom for your own toiletries, a favourite pillow on his bed for the nights you stayed, a fucking hook for your coat that he installed just a little lower than the other because you were so much smaller than Frankie.

And still, he wouldn’t look at what that might mean because he was afraid, and as much as you seemed to think nothing scared him, the truth was that a gory horror movie, or losing his friend, or even fucking live combat could never come close to the fear he felt when he pictured life without you.

You were Frankie’s Sunshine, and he never wanted to be alone in the dark again.

Aware he was still gazing down at you, Frankie found himself entirely at a loss for words. You didn’t seem to mind, simply waiting for him to respond while taking small bites of your treat. His cock twitched at the combination of your words, the innocent way you gazed at him, because Frankie hadn’t touched himself in quite some time and it didn’t take much to drive him up the wall.

His life with you had become remarkably domestic, routine. You often stayed multiple nights in a row at his place, preferring his company over being alone, and the shorter distance to your office. His spacious condo had one large four-piece bathroom, which meant there had been a few times where one of you was in the shower and the other came in, desperate to use the toilet before their bladder could burst. The shower had a thickly frosted glass enclosure, which provided plenty of visual privacy from both sides, the only indication that someone was in the shower was a very faint tint. This was never an issue until it was.

Exactly sixty-two days prior (not that Frankie was necessarily keeping count of passing time since his last orgasm), you had burst into the bathroom one afternoon unexpectedly. Returning early from your jog because you needed to pee, while Frankie stood in the shower. He listened to you tell him about a cute dog you’d seen outside his building. The thing was, Frankie had expected you to be gone longer, and you were in the middle of a three-day visit that had left him needy and horny because he hadn’t had time alone and yet you walked around in his fucking clothes, slept next to him in his bed, and he needed release.

He was grateful the tinted glass prevented you from having any idea what he was doing on the other side. And he had been close already when you came in, one hand fisting over his cock while the other pressed into the tile wall, and guilt sprang up in the back of his mind because he had been thinking of you as he touched himself. And you were just feet away, unaware and fuck if that didn’t lead him to the edge.

But it was when you had sat down to pee and he heard you give a little moan of relief that Frankie lost it, giving in to the most powerful-yet silent-orgasm he had had in fucking years. Rope after rope of cum, his legs violently shaking, and he’d wondered if he would pass out it felt so good. Then you’d flushed and continued speaking, washing your hands before telling him you were going to put on a pot of coffee. And the guilt Frankie felt was so immense that he vowed right there he wasn’t going to touch himself again. He cared for and respected you too much to reduce you to his graphic thoughts without your consent.

Sixty-two days later and you were testing his limits unknowingly.

“I, uh, I’m not sure,” He replied, keeping his eyes locked on yours. You frowned a little, kitten licking the ice cream absentmindedly. Frankie almost groaned, wondering if you were trying to kill him. “I guess, it depends on the person.” He was never, ever going to admit he was a you man, that your ass, your perfect tits, your pretty little mouth were everything he could dream and more.

He tried to shrug casually, as if indifferent.

“I guess it’s a funny question,” You said after a moment, laughing a little, “I mean, no one asks a straight woman if she’s an ass or cock girl!”  

Frankie took a too-large bite of his treat, the cold painful and giving him instant brain freeze but it was just the distraction he needed because seeing your plump lips wrap around the word ‘cock’ might just kill him. He coughed attempting to laugh at your joke despite the brain freeze, and you leaned closer in concern.

“Sorry, are you-ah, shit!” A piece of your ice cream bar, which you’d moved to hold higher as you were checking on Frankie, fell off and landed on your chest, instantly staining the pale pink t-shirt. You hopped up with a noise of discontent, catching the fallen glob and hurrying into the kitchen to toss it in the sink. “Damn it!”

Frankie reached out and paused the movie, standing up and intending to follow you. He took two steps, adjusting his cap as he moved, and then looked up to where you stood at the sink, running your shirt under the faucet. Freezing, he took it the sight of you standing in his kitchen, your shirt removed to run under the water, leaving you wearing yoga pants and a simple white bra. For a moment, he just shut down and stared at you dumbfounded, before internal alarms started sounding and Frankie’s eyes were sweeping over your curves, his eyes zeroing in on the lack of support your bra had, your breasts perky and full and fuck, he had to look away.

He looked up at his ceiling at cleared his throat “You uh, want me to grab you a shirt?” His voice came out much deeper than he was expecting. He hoped you didn’t notice, though with only being able to see your profile even if he did dare to look at you, he’d never be able to tell.

“Can I borrow your big sweater, please?” You asked him, and Frankie nodded as he hurried away, down the hall to grab the sweater he knew you meant from his room. He would have laughed at your suggestion it was his sweater when he barely got to wear it himself anymore, but he was trying to remember how to breathe.

Once out of sight in his bedroom, Frankie took a few steadying breaths before grabbing the sweater off the end of his bed. He was going to subject himself to a cold shower after he handed this to you because you were staying the night again and he could not climb into a bed with you this worked up.

One of the reasons that you and Frankie just worked as friends were your opposite ways of navigating life. Where Frankie was a detailed, meticulous planner, you flitted from idea to idea spontaneously until something landed right, and you seemed to enjoy pulling him along with you as you followed those random whims. And he let you pull him because he trusted you so completely. Even if he would still make a new plan in the back of his mind, it still felt like he was taking chances he never would have without you leading the way.

Planning was Frankie’s way of keeping control. Of keeping himself, his squadmates, his loved ones, safe and secure. After Columbia, where every bit of the plan had gone completely to shit, he’d needed to let you lead more often just so he could feel grounded because he didn’t trust himself any longer. And you had been happy to lead, to test his limits by pushing aside any planning he attempted and pull him from his comfort zone. You had taught him how to grapple with his instincts and his desires, giving him real-world methods to cope, including breathing as he was now.

So focused as he was on his breathing, Frankie hadn’t noticed you had joined him in his room, standing just inside the doorway. If he had heard you, he wouldn’t have spun around abruptly and take two long strides before realizing how close you were, nearly knocking you over as he did. He dropped the sweater when he reached out with both hands to grab your upper arms and steady you, and then he met your gaze.

Frankie couldn’t say whether it was the heat of his hands on you so unexpectedly, or the way you each shivered at the electricity that seemed to pulse from him to you. Maybe it was everything combined, years of friendship, longing and pining and then almost dying in the middle of the jungle only to come home and have you climb into his lap and sob in relief that he was home, and a million other moments in between.

But when Frankie met your eyes there in the doorway of his bedroom, he knew his expression was giving him away completely.

You were looking at him with wide eyes, your mouth slightly open in surprise, whatever words you were going to say long since lost. And then he saw it, was looking right at you when your expression shifted, no longer the innocent, playful woman but instead, one who was suffering just as much as he was, longing and love and this hunger on your face he’d never seen before.

Without hesitating, without thinking or planning his next move, Frankie tugged you against him and leaned down to slot his lips over yours, taken aback when he saw you close your eyes and stretch your neck up to meet him. When your soft lips connected to his, Frankie trembled and groaned, loving the feel of your body pressed against him, the way you smelled like something tropical, how even with your perfect curves you were so small compared to him. Kissing you was everything he’d dreamed and more.

He wanted to deepen the kiss, taste you, but even as he thought it his mind jumped ten steps ahead and imagined you on his bed and he had to stop himself from getting carried away. With great effort he pulled back, first breaking the kiss and then taking several steps away, panting heavily.

“Frankie?” You were out of breath, confused, and deliciously flushed. He could see your nipples tightened against the thin fabric of your bra, goosebumps along your skin. Just the knowledge that he’d had that kind of effect on you was enough to make him want to cum in his pants right there.

“Cariño, I can’t, I’m sorry,” It was physically painful now, his hard length straining against his jeans, but he was more concerned about you, and how afraid he was to lose you. “I-I’ve wanted to do that but you gotta know, I love you. I’m in love with you.” He couldn’t meet your eyes, instead choosing to look at his feet and rubbing his hands over his face.

You approached him again, just as quietly, taking him by surprise when you spoke from just inches away. “Frankie, look at me,” It was an order, a tone you rarely used but that always worked on grounding him, and he realized you understood he was struggling right now not to break down, terrified he’d fucked up the best thing in his life in a moment of weakness. He reluctantly met your gaze, swallowing thickly as he did.

“I need you to hear me right now, okay? Tell me.”

“I’m listening,” He confirmed, heart about ready to beat out of his chest, “I can hear you.”

“Good,” And you closed the gap between your body and his, pressing your hands into his shoulders. Frankie caught his breath. “I want you to do that again, and I don’t want you to stop. Please, kiss me again, Frankie, because I love you too and I’ve never wanted anything more in my whole life than I want you-“

Frankie cut you off, a growl ripping from his chest before he gathered you roughly into his arms and kissed you again, this time quickly swiping his tongue across your lips for permission to enter, and you gladly parted them for him, moaning when his tongue licked into your hot mouth. He slid one hand to the back of your head, his fingers weaving into your hair carefully before he pressed your face to his, needy to taste you more, to get drunk on you. Fuck, you were perfect.

When you whimpered against him, the sound almost lost in his mouth, Frankie moved, walking you back until you hit the wall and crowding you there. He ran his free hand across the bare skin of your side, heat coursing through his veins when you shuddered at his touch, keening for him. He hadn’t realized he was rolling his hips against you, his erection pressed into your stomach until one of your small hands somehow slipped between your bodies and ghosted over the front of his jeans curiously.

“Fuck,” He broke the kiss, this time simply to lower his head and kiss along your jaw, down your neck, “Sunshine, I fucking love you, I’m sorry I didn’t tell you sooner, sweet girl.” He licked the column of your throat as he moved to the other side of your face before biting gently. The sound that tore from you was so filthy he groaned again, dropping both hands to grasp your forearms.

“Frankie, fuck, don’t stop,” You were tugging at his shirt, and despite your request, he had to move back slightly to pull it over his head, his bare chest revealed to you and even though you’d seen him shirtless before, the intimacy of this time, of finally being with you after so long, made him self conscious. If you saw anything you didn’t like, you didn’t show it. Instead, you bit your lip as your hands tentatively roamed across his chest, trailing over his stomach lightly enough that he shivered. When you spoke next, you yet again took Frankie completely by surprise, your brows furrowing as your expression became more than just hungry, “Mine.”

You whispered it, but to Frankie, it was like you’d just announced it to the entire world. The possessive edge wasn’t lost on him, no, it shot straight to his core and snapped the final cords of his restraint.

“I should...I need a minute, Sunshine,” Frankie pressed his hands into the wall on either side of you, “I haven’t done anything in a long time, haven’t even cum, I don’t think I can be as sweet to you as I want to be.”

Your lust-blown eyes met his, “Why haven’t you cum?” He could hear trouble in your voice now, the not so careful way you spoke pulling dangerous images in his mind as he stared down at you, his jaw tense. When Frankie made no reply, you pressed your pointer finger to the middle of his chest, your eyes never leaving his as you slowly, lightly, moved it downward, trailing his dark hair. “Is it because you think of me? Are you that amazing that you won’t even let yourself cum because you think it’s wrong to think about me like that?”

A strangled noise was all he could respond with, his hands pressing desperately into the wall. You knew him too well, understood exactly what he’d meant without having to ask. And then you kept talking, and honestly, Frankie was floored at how dirty you suddenly were for him.

“I have to admit, you’re better than me, Frankie,” That finger trailed so slowly, closing in on his belly button now, “I’m not good like you, I think about you all the time. Especially when I touch myself, usually after I’ve spent a ton of time with you and I can’t fucking wait for a second longer. Wanna know what I picture?”

His voice was husky, a warning if ever there was one, “What did you picture, sweet girl?”

You moaned, your finger now closing in on the waist of his jeans, “You, bending me over the couch, that one is a favourite. Or waking you up with a blowjob, swallowing everything you’ve got because I know you taste delicious,” You unbuttoned his jeans now, sliding the zipper down with care, “But I think the winner, the one that always makes me scream your name, is thinking about riding you, Frankie. Climbing in your lap and just-“

Fuck, fuck he couldn’t hold back. He’d told you he couldn’t and yet you wouldn’t shut up and all thoughts of making love to you gently were out the fucking window, Frankie instead growled deeply and grabbed you by the arms, all but throwing you on the bed. You were smirking up at him, your eyes dark with lust and shining with triumph.

“Fuck, sweet girl, you wanna scream my name?” He removed his pants and briefs in one motion, his cock spring up, hard and leaking precum and you licked your lips, giving a little whimper at the sight of him. Frankie grasped himself, pumping his hand a few times as he stood over you, “Like what you see?”

“Jesus, Frankie-you need a new nickname,” You said, eyes glued to his cock, “Catfish makes no sense when you’re walking around with that fucking bat-wait!” He froze in the middle of removing his ball cap, looking at you with concern to see you bite your lip a little shyly, “Keep it on. The hat.”

Warmth spread through him at your request and Frankie replaced the hat on his head, then dropped to his knees next to the bed, his hands running up your thighs as you writhed. At your waist, he grasped the tops of your yoga pants and tugged them down, enjoying the way your body arched when you lifted your hips to help him. The only item of clothing either of you wore now was you in your bra, and fuck were you a sight.

Frankie gazed up at you from the floor in awe, his eyes roving over you hungrily as you watched him, propped up on your elbows. He started kissing up your thighs then, pushing your legs apart and spreading you, his hands kneading your flesh. “Sweet girl, you have such a pretty pussy, better than I imagined.” He moaned, biting into the soft flesh of your inner leg and drawing a whimper from you, “I can fucking smell you already, so wet and ready for me, fuck.”

“Oh god Frankie, please, touch me. I can’t wait anymore, I need you!”

“Told you,” Frankie climbed over top of you, his legs on either side of your body as he reached down and dragged you further onto the bed, his show of strength making you whimper, “It’s been a while. And you walk around here wearing my fucking clothes all the time. You don’t know what you do to me, Sunshine.” He grunted as he repositioned himself between your legs, his hands grasping the backs of them to haul your body against his, his cock pressed painfully against your thigh, “Gonna fuck you, sweet girl.” And with one careful, quick motion he thrust forward and each of you cried out at the pleasure of Frankie filling you.

“Frankie! Oh!” Your legs wrapped around him instantly, urging him as deep as possible as he split you open so deliciously. Once he was fully seated within you, Frankie dropped forward, propping himself on one arm, and cupped your face with his free hand. He looked into your eyes as he started a fast, hard pace, thrusting deep and reeling over how wet you were for him, how perfectly your velvet folds wrapped around him.

“Fuck, cariño, you’re fucking tight,” He grunted, kissing you sloppily as you threw your arms around him, hugging him close, “So tight for me, so perfect making those pretty noises, fuck.” Frankie groaned when you clenched around him as he spoke, “You like it when I tell you how perfect you are?”

“Ye-yeah Frankie, I love it. Oh, fuck!”

You were trembling now, squeezing him each time he whispered in your ear. Frankie kept up a string of praises and filthy words, taking note of the ones that had you gripping him extra hard.

He’d always had a casual enjoyment of dirty talk, nothing over the top, easy enough to shut off if it wasn’t enjoyed by the other person. But something about talking like this to you had his balls tightening that much faster, his thrusts becoming brutal.

Still murmuring in your ear, Frankie lowered his hand to your clit, experimentally rubbing, circling and pinching it to see what you liked. He was going to cum soon, and he’d be damned if you didn’t cum too. Though, as Frankie settled on circling you, both feeling and hearing how this was definitely how you liked it, his worries quickly dissipated when your hips were suddenly bucking up to meet his and you were screaming his name.

“That’s it, let go for me sweet girl,” Frankie’s thrusts were becoming increasingly sloppy as he neared the edge, “Are you-fuck, where should I?” He couldn’t even form a sentence now, he was so close and you were squeezing around him so perfectly as you closed in on your orgasm.

You understood though, your eyes meeting his as you pulled yourself together enough to reply, “Frankie, cum inside me please, please fill me up, pleasepleaseplease-“

“Fuck! H-here you go, perfect little thing!” He roared, dropping his weight over your and growling as he spilled inside you, as you bucked and writhed beneath him and screamed out, toppling over the edge and into oblivion with him. He heard himself cursing in Spanish as he experienced the most intense orgasm of his entire life, his hips slowing to continue to draw it out, still more cum filling you and you were a wreck under him, shivering and moaning.

“Yes, Frankie, yes.” You whimpered, your hands sliding into his hair-knocking his cap off-and tugging at his curls.

It took several minutes to recover, though Frankie had enough awareness to shift his weight so that you could breathe properly. Still hard inside you, he began to kiss you all over, peppering your face and neck before biting a few more marks into your neck, his tongue laving out to soothe. He enjoyed the way you whimpered when overstimulated, twitching when he pinched your nipple over your bra, squeaking his name when he pressed himself as deep inside you as he could one last time before pulling out.

Frankie collapsed on the bed next to you, then quickly tugged you into his arms and kissed the top of your head. His fear began to bubble back up now that the haze of passion was clearing, and he was starting to question every single moment that had occurred since you'd asked him if he was a tits man or an ass man.

What had he done? Was he going to lose you after this? Lose his entire reason for living for one amazing orgasm?

But it was like you could reach his mind, as only a few minutes had passed and then, with a little groan, you pulled yourself up so that you were on your elbow, looking down at Frankie. You took one look at his face and frowned, “That was quicker than I thought.”

Frankie stared at you, “What was?”

“I guessed it would take more than two minutes for you to start regretting this.”

Sighing, he pulled himself up, sitting on the edge of the bed. You followed, but crossed your legs and shuffled next to him. “I meant what I said, I love you,” Frankie explained, rubbing a hand over his face, “I love you so much, so fucking much it hurts. But the idea of messing this up is terrifying me, Sunshine. I don’t think I could lose you, I think it would kill me.”

“Frankie,” You crawled over him, straddling his hips and settling into his lap. You cupped his face firmly, looking into his eyes. Your expression was open, warm and vulnerable and a little incredulous, “You aren’t going to lose me, not ever. I want this-I want you, and everything you come with, okay?”

Though his heart was soaring, Frankie still worried, shaking his head, “I come with a lot of dark baggage, sweet girl. Not to mention the age difference.”

“Jesus, Frankie, do you really think I don’t know what I’m saying when I tell you I’m all in?” You asked him, not waiting for an answer before continuing. “I love you. Can I tell you when I knew?”

Frankie peered at you, his hands coming to hold your waist as he nodded.

“The boys trip.” You stated, using the term each of you agreed upon when referencing his three-week disappearance to Columbia. “When you first left, I knew something was off but I trust you, so I didn’t question it. But then after a few days, with no word from you, I started to really worry,” You paused, momentarily lost in thought, eyes dark now with the painful memory of his absence and the little information you’d come to learn about it since. “Did I ever tell you I booked a ticket to Columbia?”

This caught Frankie off guard because you most certainly had not told him that, “What, are you serious?”

“Yep. Booked it for the day after you ended up calling me. I don’t know what I was planning to do, but I knew you were there and, even if you were dead, I needed to be as well.” You stroked your thumbs over his cheeks, “After you called, and I knew you were alive and coming home, I realized that the way you said it meant you almost didn’t make it home, and I knew you weren’t saying something. I hung up and sat in my room for a minute and it occurred to me that you could have died and I would have never seen you again. That was when I knew it wasn’t just a crush.”

Heavy emotion filled his chest, rendering him unable to immediately respond. Frankie gathered you close and stood, clutching you against him and carrying you into the bathroom. He set you on the toilet before turning to his massive soaker tub and switching it on, fully intending on spending the rest of the night in there with you. When he turned around, you were carefully tidying yourself up. With a grunt, he grabbed a washcloth and ran it under warm water before kneeling in front of you and taking over.

“Why didn’t you say anything? After I came home, I mean.” His tone was light, as he didn’t mean to come across as accusing you of anything-it’s not like he had said anything to you. Good-natured as you were, you simply smiled at him, a little sadly.

“Too afraid, right at first,” You admitted, your eyes fluttering shut as he took care of you with the warm washcloth, “But when you came home you were a fucking wreck, Frankie. You lost your friend, Santi didn’t come back with you either, and Will and Benny had the same expression on their faces whenever I saw them. You saw some shit, did some shit, I don’t know and I’ll be real here, I don’t need you to ever feel like you should tell me what exactly happened. But after the first day you were back, I could see how much it changed you and I thought it would be selfish to tell you how I felt and add more emotional bullshit onto your plate.”

Frankie continued to kneel in front of you after tossing the washcloth into his laundry hamper. For a moment, the only sound in the room that of the tub filling. He stared into your eyes, seeing only how truthful you were being, how incredibly kind. He had never realized how completely he could love someone until he met you.

“I thought about you the entire time I was gone.” He admitted before carefully standing and checking the temperature of the water. He added a bath salt mixture that you’d bought a while ago, claiming it was a gift when really you were the one to use them, locking yourself away for hours to soak because you didn’t have a tub at your place. He shut the water off and held his arms out for you, which you eagerly stepped into and allowed him to guide you both into the water.

Once settled, your back against his chest, you replied. “Your face when you came home, I’ll never forget your expression.” His legs were on either side of you, and you began to lazily trace along his right thigh as both of you fell into your painful memories of his ill-fated trip.

Frankie sighed sadly, “I’m sorry I ever left, Sunshine. I never should have left you,” He tightened his grip around your waist under the water, one hand spread flat across your stomach, “It was just...fuck, everything went bad straight from the start. We had a moment of luck and then it was like nothing could go right. And I don’t know, I’m fucking gutted that Tom is gone, but it’s worse that Santiago won’t come home. He’s like my brother, and he blames himself for everything.”

Frankie knew you had no idea what he meant. You knew he and the guys were former special ops that served together, but when Santi had asked him to go to Columbia Frankie had only told you the basics-the country, who he would be with, that he might not have a lot of chances to call, and that it would be about a week. Santi had picked him up and you had been there to see him off that morning, and his friend had casually referenced a ‘boys trip’ while speaking with you as Frankie loaded his shit in the back.

Of course, you weren’t stupid. You worked with the VA, met a lot of former service members who ended up contracting out their skills after retiring or leaving due to injuries or lifestyle changes. And you knew Frankie, understood him like no one ever had before, which is why as he gave you further details you didn’t flinch or freeze up, you simply listened. When Frankie had gone quiet for a while, you eventually turned to gaze up at him over your shoulder, your cheek on his chest.

“From what I could tell,” You began slowly, your words cautious, “Whatever you did, what happened, you all put it aside to get Tom’s body home to his family. And considering the type of work Santi was doing out there for three years before he came here to ask you guys to join him, I figure you all must have almost died a few times each, probably took out some terrible men along the way.”

Frankie had to bite back his sob, turning his face away from you to stare, ashamed and remorseful at the wall. You reacted quickly, pulling yourself up and turning over, your naked body pressing over his as you grabbed Frankie’s head and gently turned him to look at you. “Baby,” You cooed, your eyes shining with concern, “Don’t do that, don’t hide from me.”

That was all it took. Frankie let the sob out and the relief of it was instantaneous, so much so that he let out another, then another, all while you held him and murmured soft, sweet words and pressing chaste kisses to his cheeks, his forehead, along his jaw. It didn’t last long, he’d cried so many times over everything that had gone down, but this was the first time you had revealed you sort of had an idea of what they had been up to, and you were still supporting him and loving him and it was all very overwhelming.

A short time later, Frankie wiped his eyes and shot you a grateful look, hoping you could sense how much he appreciated you. You settled into the water again, knees pulled to your chest as you faced him and trailed your hands comfortingly up and down his chest. “Sunshine,” He whispered, catching one hand and holding it against his heart, “I love you, thank you for being so fucking incredible.”

He tugged you closer, joining you in laughing when a little water sloshed up over the edge of the tub as you landed against him. You snuggled close and kissed him, your fingers carding into his curls and holding him steady. When Frankie took you to bed that night, there were no pillows between your bodies, not a shred of clothing separating you. He held you close, falling asleep faster than he had in years.

And for the first time in Frankie’s life, he felt whole and complete, like nothing could ever bring him into darkness again, not when he had you, literal sunshine, lighting his existence.

PART TWO

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@mermaidxatxheart @paintballkid711

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THE PETER B REUINION HUG??? HELLO IM !!! NORMAL... "GO EASY ON THE KID HE HAD A TERRIBLE TEACHER" I LOVE HIM HES SO? GRAGH

Also omg she made it into a Polaroid awoughhagh... aaughh .... ALSO I SEE YOU WITH THE THEME OF LOSS. HELLO YOU CANNOT DO THIS TO ME

ILL CRY ! BWAAHHH <-sound of me crying

ANYWAY THIS IS SO LOVELY I LOVE THE "LOBBY" I just love how they're all going abt their day... love and peace ALSO LOOOOK!!! MASKLESS HOBIE IN BRIGHT LIGHT WE R WINNING!!

And I mean for all the SCARY SAD grief that slammed into my face, there's some super SILLY moments I love this part SO MUCH ITS SO !!! (ALSO HII PS4 SPIDEY MY SILLYGUY)

LIKE THIS IS ON SUCHA BIG SCALE U CAN FEEL THE LOVE AND WHIMSY !!! man this is gonna be such a FUN AND BEAUTIFUL MOVIE MADE WITH LOVE !! AND CARE!!!

also they crashed this poor guys therapy session maaaan</3 BUT GOSH IF THE SCENES WITH A BUNCH OF SPIDEYS CLUSTERED TOGETHER ARENT THE COOLEST GOT DAMN THINGS !!!!

ALSO THE CONLFICT BETWEEN MIGUEL AND MILES AND HIS FRIENDS PLUS ALL THE SPIDEYS IM GOING TO LOSE MY MIND !!!!

LIKE PS4 PETER IS THERE HE WOULDNT GO AFTER A MILES WOULD HE !!!?? I .... GWAHH.... I am so so insane over this .. they will need so much power of friendship and family to get thru this I know it

Anyway this movie is gonna be SO impossibly good and full of BEAUTY AND LOVE AND AARGHH!!! and I hope takuya is in there somewhere tee hee ^_^

HI THE SPIDERVERSE TRAILER WAS SO IMPOSSIBLY COOL WHAT THE HELL !!! THERES SO MUCH TO DISCUSS LIKE OH GOSH !! FIRSTLY the animation is SOOO GOOD! The STYLES the ACTIONS!!! How did they majorly glow up an already stunning thing like woagh..

And the way Jeff and Rio and his home still have a big story to tell while they also have the most insanest spiderversal shenanigans taking place is INSANE ! <333 and spot is so whimsical I LOVED how miles was just making jabs at him in the convenience store tee hee at least its not all scary for my boy!! (it will be!!) <-do nawt talk to me abt Jeff falling from the building I will cry tears insanely

ANYWAY IM SO NORMAL ABOUT ALL THE CHARACTERS!! AND THE VOICE LINES LIKE OMG PAVITR VOICE REVEAL?<3 ALSO HOBIES SCREEN TIME GRAAGHHH LOOK HOW COOL THE EFFECTS ARE!! AND MAYDAY AND MIGUEL <33

ALSO MIGUEL FANG MOMENT!!! WE ARE WINNING !!!!!!

AND SPIDERBYTE LOOKS SO GOOD. HI SPIDER BYTE <33 I LOVE HER ALREADY