#these ops need to stop slapping so hard

[sn0tcl0wn]

of fucking COURSE creepy nuts did the dandandan theme. it goes too hard for it not to be them. that shit makes me crump so fuckin hard.

imma wait a few episodes to binge a little when i start it tho. i wanna know if it's mid before i get into it. i love shitty anime i just wanna know ahead of time and feel like this one can go south really fast even just in the looks department (here's to you uzumaki episode 2). but i should have known it was them. that shit got me shaking ass too hard to be anyone else.

[cloudzoro]

Girl, since you mention the OP dilfs, I would LOVE to see some headcanons or something about either how they flirt with you or when they realize they like you 👀👀👀

you can add who you like but I’m begging for Shanks and Mihawk ✨🧍🏽‍♀️

hi!!!!! I went with 'realising they like you, and I actually added most of the dilfs. hope you enjoy 🤤🙏

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Realising He's In Love | ♡

characters: beckman, buggy, crocodile, dragon, mihawk, shanks, smoker

cw: fem!reader, crocodile's is suggestive,

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Beckman

Beckman realises his love for you on a random cold morning.

It's a very rare calm day aboard the force. Beckman, sitting in a chair on the deck, listens to those of his crewmates who are awake this early, navigating around the ship. He hears your voice humming a pretty tune. He hears the clanking of pans in the background, giving away your location.

When he enters the kitchen, he sees you dancing around and helping yourselves to Lucky Roux's ingredients.

“Whatcha doing?” he asks. He laughs as you jump, startled by his interruption.

“It's kind of chilly out, and you were running a little cold this morning, so I'm making us some nice warm breakfast,” you say, adding ingredients to a pan. Your desire to take care of him warms him up enough already. He walks up to you and wraps his arms around your waist. He buries his face into your neck as he hums in response. The domesticity of it slaps him in the face. A warmth spreads through his body. He understands, in this moment, what it is to truly love someone, but he'll keep it as his little secret for a while longer

✩♬ ₊˚.☁️⋆☾⋆⁺₊✧

Buggy

Everyone is so mean to him. All his life, he's been treated poorly. Then he meets you; you're a subordinate of Mihawk's that he's brought along to the cross guild. Mihawk is a solitary creature, so the fact he keeps you around must mean you hold some value to him. This fact scares Buggy; it makes him distrust you, even if you're so kind to him.

You talk to him gently, offer to pour him drinks when he stops by Mihawk's tent and patch him up when his two business partners beat him down. At first, he thinks you have alternative motives, that this is a ploy, and you're going to hurt him in some way. Then, he thinks you're patronising him and taking pity on his poor soul.

It takes Mihawk stomping his boot down a little too hard, which causes you to step in and beg your boss to back off, to make him realise you genuinely care about him. You standing up to Mihawk despite what repercussions it may have is the day he realises that he doesn't ever want you to leave.

✩♬ ₊˚.☁️⋆☾⋆⁺₊✧

Crocodile

He's pretty into you from the beginning, but he doesn't fall quickly. You're a colleague, a hard worker, and he likes you. He takes you to many galas and events and proposes that the two of you should work together more often. That leads to the two of you being tangled in the sheets, and Crocodile makes it clear to you that this ‘relationship’ is sexual in nature and nothing more. You're fond of the man, but you keep your feelings to yourself. Until one night when he needs to take his stress out and finds himself unable to be rough with you.

He doesn't lay your back against his sheets, doesn't flip you onto your front and squish your head into the pillows. Instead, in a move that baffles you, he asks you for a kiss. You oblige, seated on his lap on a soft velvet sofa. His hook caresses your leg, keeping you pressed to him while his hands explore you. You gently ask if he's ok, careful not to anger the beast beneath you. He nods, moving his kisses down to your neck. He feels it in his heart, his chest crumbling from the inside as he bares it to you with every kiss placed on your skin.

He laughs at himself as he remembers telling you this was nothing more than sex. What a fool he was.

✩♬ ₊˚.☁️⋆☾⋆⁺₊✧

Dragon

Dragon and you are dating, and you have been for a while. He's quite frankly terrified of love. He's been there once, and it didn't work out for him. He takes things slowly with you. Every late-night talk and comforting hug in the privacy of your room pulls his heart deeper and deeper.

He realises just how deeply in love he is when he sees you standing with Koala, giving her some advice. Your heart is what attracted him to you in the first place. Seeing you so readily help other people makes him realise just how strongly he feels about you. He more than loves you; he admires you. He approaches you as Koala leaves, looking much calmer than she did before.

“Is she ok?”

“She's fine, honey. Are you ok?” It's a simple question of concern, but it still has his heart squeezing in a way he's never felt before. He kisses you softly, hoping the action will convey his feelings properly.

✩♬ ₊˚.☁️⋆☾⋆⁺₊✧

Mihawk

He's very straightforward and to the point. He knows what he wants. He realises he likes you pretty much immediately after meeting you.

The first time he meets your eyes from across the bar, he plans to take you back to your home, entertain you and leave you before you wake the next morning. Then he strikes up a conversation with you, and everything changes.

“Can I buy you another drink?” he asks, sliding into the seat next to you.

“Please don't, this cheap wine tastes like shit. I could probably use this as a truth serum against my enemies” You bite, smacking your lips together at the bitter taste. Something about your attitude lights a flame in Mihawk. He's found a kindred spirit in you. A fine woman with a fine taste. Now he's intrigued by you, suddenly struck with a desire to know more.

So he starts talking to you about wine. There's no flirtation in his words, no exaggerated flattery or innuendo. He asks about you, divulges very little about himself and then tells you he found you interesting. He asks if you'd like to go home with him and see his much more impressive collection of wine. Of course, you accept. He lets you break open a well-aged bottle, drinking happily with you.

✩♬ ₊˚.☁️⋆☾⋆⁺₊✧

Shanks

Oh, he's pathetic, actually. Everyone else realises before he does. He denies it with every fibre of his being. You've known each other for a long time. Every time you touch him, talk back to him, even look at him, his heart stirs. He has to tell himself the tightening of his chest is just the drink catching up to him.

After a night of drinking and joking, you go off to bed. When you part with your captain, you're so drunk that you don't even realise what you're doing and press a goodnight kiss to his cheek. You cart yourself off to bed, tiredly waving at your crew. You go to sleep, completely oblivious to the fact that Shanks is currently turning the colour of his hair while Yasopp and Roux tease him for it. Beckman gives him a look that says, ‘I told you so’.

“I'm not in love with her”, he groans as he's hit with flashes of all the times you've made his heart skip a beat. “ I just think she's beautiful, smart, talented, fun and” he pauses his sentence when he realises he's rambling, rambling about you. “I'm in love with her,” he sighs, putting his head in hand. What kind of captain falls for his crewmate?

✩♬ ₊˚.☁️⋆☾⋆⁺₊✧

Smoker

Smoker doesn't realise until it's almost too late. The two of you are co-workers and have known each other for years. While working together, an enemy you hadn't noticed takes a shot at you, and Smoker puts himself in the line of fire. The bullet hits his ribcage, and enough of the soldiers under his command help him away to be seen by a doctor.

Seeing that bullet fly towards you had every missed opportunity to kiss you, cycling through his brain. He moved to save you, knowing it would harm him because he realised at that moment he would rather die than spend a single minute without you. He needs you to eat, breathe and sleep. He convinced himself at one point that you two were just inseparable friends, but the singular bullet in his torso had the truth bleeding out of him.

When he wakes up from surgery, you're sat in his hospital room, asleep in a chair next to his bed. His busy heart relaxes, seeing you safe and sound. He considers the bullet a silent vow of protection. A vow he will never break.

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thank you so much for reading! I hope you enjoyed reading. comments and reblogs are appreciated ♡

tag list: @bloodfixnd @sexysapphicshopowner @beachaddict48 @lem-hhn @quanxifangirl @mythicallystupid

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[meidiary]

( 📁 ) THEY ENTERTAIN ANOTHER WOMAN FOR TOO LONG

synopsis: instead of them being jealous, this time you are because of their attention being focused on someone else 🤧

characters: zoro, luffy & sanji!

warnings: female terms used in zoro's & sanji's <3, nicknames + swearing, angst for sanji

mei's note: my previous post had an accidental angsty ending for luffy so i'll be posting a happy one soon! <3

⟶ @ahseyy request: ... And i have this idea 🤧 we had that the OP boys are jealous, sooooo obviously we need that Yn is jealous! ...

☆ "they're just friends!" usopp's words kept ringing in your mind as you stare at ZORO and his ex-girlfriend.. you and the rest of the strawhat crew had stopped sailing, planning to settle a bit on the island you came across. oh, how you deeply regret telling luffy that "this seems like a good place for us to stay in and regain our energy!" now you're stuck witnessing this situation play out, having you completely engrossed in it.

☆ usopp, having a sixth sense for drama, immediately noticed the lack of your presence as a result of you spying observing zoro and his ex.

☆ "are you done spying on your boyfriend?" he chuckles seeing your startled expression. "i'm not spying on him! i'm just-" you see her playfully slap his bicep, earning a displeased look on your face. "why is he even speaking to her for so long? it's not like they left at the best terms.." you blurt out, sighing after seeing usopp's sly smirk.

☆ you know he thinks you're an obsessively jealous person, but you can't find it in you to care because there she goes touching him again! the worst of it all is that zoro doesn't seem to be bothered by it.. your eyebrows furrow as you keep witnessing them smiling way too much, standing way too close, being way too touchy, and the worst of all; they're talking way too soft for you to eavesdrop!

"that's it, i'm going over there!" you utter annoyed, dropping the mop you were holding for the past 15 minutes, having made little to no progress at cleaning the ship's floor. usopp, taken aback, dashes to stand in front of you, blocking the exit of the ship. "are you out of your mind? don't you understand you'll be labeled as the most controlling girlfriend ever?! just- sit this confrontation out alright?" he let's out a sigh of relief, feeling he prevented a major fight to go down, not only between you and zoro, but possibly also between you and zoro's ex..

usopp was right, you know he was, but you couldn't bother thinking straight while you were still seeing that woman being handsy with your man. fuming, you gaze at the two, loathing the almost non-existent space there was between them. "i'm so done," you mutter upset. "please take over cleaning for me today, usopp.." you left to your room and plopped down on your bed, trying to put all your intrusive thoughts to rest.

but of course you couldn't after having seen that interaction between the two. were you exaggerating? was this normal? is it wrong for you to feel this way? this fuming feeling is causing you so much distress. it's like your thoughts are eating you up from the inside. you don't want to feel this way, like you're the one at fault, like you're not enough, like you'll never be enough.. right after that thought crept up out of the darkest pits of your brain, you heard a knock on your, now locked, bedroom door. "baby? you alright?.. why's the door locked-? baby?" you recognize zoro's voice immediately, mentally being stuck between picking the easy choice: ignoring him and bottling up your feelings, or the hard one: facing him and talk to him about your current thoughts..

unbeknownst to you, you unconsciously chose the former option. you open the door and look him in his eyes, hiding as much of your feelings possible. "what?" he furrows his brows, confused by your cold welcome before he remembers usopp warning him you weren't in a good mood because of his overfriendly encounter with his ex. "is this about her?" he chuckles before shaking his head slightly, in disbelief you'd be this bothered by someone from his past. "so what if it is?! is it so weird for me to be upset some woman is being all handsy with you?! and is it suprising that i got bothered even more by you not minding her touching you? is it that weird, zoro? 'cause if it is, please, do tell me!" you blurt out, almost all in one breath, before slamming the door shut.

you weren't planning on letting it out, you didn't want to bother, assuming he'd just brush it off as you exaggerating.. you didn't expect him to open the door you aggressively slammed in his face, so soon. you didn't expect him to, when he saw you leant on the wall with furrowed brows and a trembling upper lip, grab you by the waist and pull you closer to him, so close there was barely anything between you at all.. and least of all did you expect him to grab your chin, raising it so you looked him in the eyes while he told you "if i gave one shit about her, would i be here right now? tell me, if i didn't care about you at all, then why would i tell her i'm not interested in getting back together with her when she asked? why would i tell her i finally found someone that i want to spend the rest of my life with? shit, as cheesy as it sounds, it's true, baby.. i can't imagine being with anyone else except you. so please, don't you get jealous about girls i don't give a damn about."

you send him a soft smile, leaning your forehead on him. "don' know who told you i was jealous.. but you got to get better sources 'cause i for sure wasn't jealous.." zoro scoffs letting out a "yeah, right."

☆ needless to say you two made up and cuddled for the rest of the day.

☆ that would be the end.. but of course usopp had to bug you.. "hey! i took over your cleaning today, so you better take over mine for the next week.." usopp pleaded, with both his hands on his hips. "out." zoro mumbled into your neck, expecting him to comply instantly. "but-!" usopp began to bicker, before getting interrupted by zoro. "now." you accidentally let out a giggle, swiftly moving your hand to cover your mouth right after. "whatever! i will be back, considering this debt!" with that usopp leaves the room, leaving you two alone, enjoying the comfortable silence.

☆ SANJI is a womanizer, that's no shocking discovery. you've know about this fact since the moment you met him. he was charming you up while asking everyone's drinks and then he went off, flirting with another woman on his way back to the kitchen. that moment you learned that this was sanji. but there's also the caring sanji that'd make you a warm soup when you're sick, tending to your needs yet still somehow find away to make you blush whilst laughing with him. in addition to the caring sanji, there also is the determined sanji; whenever he'd speak about finding the all blue, and all the meals he would cook, all the different fish he would see, you could swear you saw his eyes glistening with adoration and resolve. further, intellectual sanji heavily plays a role in your daily life; happily helping you with mundane chores to the most exciting adventures you and your fellow strawhats go on. he fills you in on books he's read, food he's cooked, ingredients he's used, products he's bought and much more!

☆ you could go on and on, daydreaming of all sanji's positive personality traits, but you're all time favorite would have to be considerate sanji.. the way he could immediately sense from you that you weren't feeling like your usual self still amazes you. how he always chooses the right moments to bring you a freshly brewed cup of tea with your favorite desert right next to it, which you have know idea how he had the time nor ingredients for. how he treats you like a princes and tells you how much you mean to him in so many different ways when you feel absolutely miserable. and, oh, how he always knows when to embrace you tightly and whisper sweet nothings into your ear, until it becomes numb.

☆ so with all that, you accepted him being a womanizer, having the seemingly perpetuous habits of bantering with other women. you always wondered if he'd stop flirting with so many women if you asked him to.. but then the thought that you two were nothing and wouldn't be anything else than friends hit you.

☆ nevertheless, seeing his cheeky smile being sent to some random woman, seeing him subtly sling his arm around her waist as he guids her to the dance floor, seeing him lean closer to her every minute, it was killing you, no more like slowly scraping you from the inside, the bottled up pain waiting for you to finally burst open.

you've been eyeing them the whole night, not once taking your eyes off of them or bothering to answer usopp's rants with more than a 'mhm,' or a 'hmm'. "have you listened to a word i said?!" usopp voiced suddenly, turning the strawhats' complete attention to you. "mhm.." absent-minded, you nod hearing him say something, but not comprehending the words he spoke.

"see, told you she wasn't paying attention," usopp leaned back against his seat after pulling up his shoulders, indicating he was right about you not paying attention to what anyone was saying. zoro, being the one seated next to you, tapped your shoulder, earning a "hm?" from you. getting annoyed by your negligence, he shifted his gaze to the direction you were looking in, finally understanding what the issue was.

to clarify your absent-mindness, zoro nudged his head towards sanji and his date. his date, who was sat on his lap at this point, making the knot in your stomach grow substantially. seeing his arm wrap around her hips as she leaned on him was your final stroke, your last straw. it was your breaking point.. you've reached, no, you've long surpassed your limit for these shenanigans, but right now, this very moment you finally break.

you suddenly feel a rush of tears burn your eyes, overwhelmed with your thoughts and emotional distress. you jump up, hurriedly leaving the club room you were in, not wanting anyone to see you in your current state. you desperately search for a private area where you can cry yourself out of this situation without having people judge you. but you notice the whole place is packed with couples who can't keep their hands off of each other, except the balcony, so you shakingly make your way to the cold space.

all of a sudden, you hear someone's heavy breathing behind you. "darling? what's the matter? what happened?!" sanji. he asks you breathlessly, due to him running after you. you quickly tried to wipe your tears away, but they kept coming! making you feel even more hysterical. "hey, hey now -" sanji notices your crying, he turns you around, his arms moving from your arms down to your waist, pulling you closer to him. "talk to me, sweetheart.. please, just talk to me.." he pleads, moving his face closer to yours.

"i- i can't- do- it!" you babbled in-between sobs. "what, darling? who did this to you?" sanji moves his hands to your cheeks, pulling your face to his, carefully. "you..! you're killing me!" he furrows his brows in confusion. once you calmed down, you slowly tore one of his hands off your face. "i can't keep seeing you with others, sanji.. it really fucking hurts! i- i just can't-" you push him away a little, "i can't keep bottling it up sanji.. i'm done.."

☆ he didn't even mean to.. he was just being friendly, he was cracking jokes, making sure she was feeling calm and at peace, he asked sanji to get her something to snack, he was being luffy..

☆ normally, you'd swoon over him whenever he'd be in this caring mood of his. but not this time, no. this time, you were close to glowing green out of envy. you shouldn't be feeling this way, you know that. you trust luffy with your everything! it just hits you in the wrong place whenever he leans towards her when she speaks. it's like you can feel your heart cramp up each time she looks up at him and smiles, receiving his usual toothy grin in return.

☆ she was lost, abandoned at sea by her very own family. at least that's the bit you picked from usopp dramatically narrating her lifestory. is it heartless that all you could think of was that you hoped, the strawhats and you would drop her off at the very next island, wish her luck with her life, and continue your journeys? knowing luffy, that's the last thing that would happen. no, it's not even on the list of things he would ever consider! your thoughts made you feel absolutely terrible. you weren't a bad person, so why were you being so uncaring towards this poor girl who had lost so much? envy. jealousy can bring out the absolute worst in people. the lowest of a person's nature gets drawn out someone. and that someone now, was you.

you tried to stay away from her, not wanting to accidentally lash out. you felt bad for her, you did, but you also how far you could go, when jealousy takes apart in decision-making. so you avoid her, and just like that, you were also avoiding luffy. because for some reason, he was always near her, always. it's like he was scared she'd run away?

luffy noticed. but he didn't know the reason you were avoiding her. he's always optimistic and cheerful, so everyone expects him to always be exactly that, except you. you were there for him, allowing him to have bad days. he didn't have to hide his feelings or emotions. it was a relief for him to find someone like you, someone he lived so dearly, who lived him back just as much. it was refreshing, calming, delightful. what happened? what did he do? was he too much? or did he do too little to show you he cares so much, that he'd give you the world if you asked for it. he'd go to the moon and back for you. he doesn't know how, but he'd find a way. and now he lost you? that can't be true. it can't. he won't accept it!

that's how you got in your current situation; his face was buried in the crook of your neck, his hands holding you tightly by your waist, mumbling something about how good you smell.

you had told him the reason you were avoiding was because of your sudden jealousy. he laughed for a good 10 minutes about how ridiculous you were to think of something like that! but in his mind, oh, how relieved he was that you weren't avoiding him because you fell out of love with him. it was because you were too in love with him..

☆ you two ended up having a picnic on deck, trying to keep usopp and chopper away from your neatly set up meals prepared by sanji (duh)

☆ luffy kept teasing you about how jealous you were and that you love him too much for your own good. acting like he wasn't on the verge of being a crying mess because he thought he lost you 🙄

☆ he kept giving you nose tip smooches while telling you you'll never lose him <3

MEI'S NOTE: so, uhm yeah sanji's part was definitely something...

... hope you enjoyed!! <3

[kentsjohnson91]

𝐓𝐇𝐄 𝐋𝐄𝐒𝐒 𝐓𝐇𝐄𝐘 𝐊𝐍𝐎𝐖 𝐓𝐇𝐄 𝐁𝐄𝐓𝐓𝐄𝐑ᵏʲ⁹¹

in which y/n and kent hide a big secret from his teammates.

warnings; pregnancy, mention of kids, alcohol, vacation

Kent was the kind of guy who always seemed at ease, the life of the party but with a quiet confidence that drew everyone to him. You had fallen for him long ago, when the two of you were young teenagers, and now, you were his everything. This vacation with his teammates was supposed to be fun, a chance to unwind, but you had a secret - one that had been growing for months.

You were pregnant. 

Kent was ecstatic when you told him. He’d hugged you so tightly that night, whispering about the future, about how perfect everything was going to be. But now, here you both were, on this vacation with Sean Kuraly, Cole, Gavin, and Adam, and neither of you had told them. The timing wasn’t right - in fact, you guys hadn’t even told your families. Maybe they’d get suspicious, or worse, maybe they’d feel like you were holding out on them. Kent was sure they’d freak out once they knew.

But here you were, at Sean’s beach house in Cape Cod. While the rest of the boys had flown, you and Kent had decided to make the 16 hour drive from Columbus, simply to spend more time with each other before having to share a living space with the others for two weeks. Once you had arrived, though, everyone was exhausted and just wanted to spend the first night in. In fact, Adam had suggested a few card games.

There was only one problem. On top of that, Cole had suggested alcohol. You looked at Kent nervously, but he gave you a reassuring smile as Sean turned to you, “Y/N, come up with a challenge for us. Whoever loses has to buy drinks.”

This was perfect. You nodded, picking up your phone and opening a random wheel spinner. You had each of the boys pick an NBA team, but when it came to entering them onto the wheel, you entered Kent’s all four times. So, when the wheel stopped spinning, you announced the team out loud, “The Minnesota Timberwolves.”

Sean, Adam, and Cole all cheered as Kent pretended to roll his eyes, but he sneakily shot you a knowing smile before picking up his keys from the counter. The boys slapped him on the back a few times but he shook them off, gently grabbing your arm, “Since your challenge is the reason I lost, you’re coming with me.”

You playfully rolled your eyes, but immediately gave in. Adam snickered behind you as Sean and Cole let out a few cheers. Kent wrapped an arm around you and opened the door for you, gently leading you to his car. As soon as you were out of earshot, Kent spoke up softly, “You feeling okay?”

You couldn’t lie. The exhaustion was creeping in. The pregnancy was still early, and you weren’t showing much, but the morning sickness, the fatigue – it was all becoming harder to hide. Kent had noticed the change in you almost immediately, but knew that it had grown harder for you in the past couple of weeks. He was worried. He was so excited to have a little him or little you around the house soon enough, but also hated seeing how hard it was on you. On top of that, he knew that you wanted to keep it a secret for as long as you could, and he knew you’d be even more stressed if people were to find out, so he didn’t want to spill anything. 

In fact, he questioned even coming on this trip, but you had explained that you’d needed it. Whether he believed you or not, was only up for him to decide. 

He opened the car door for you and you waited to reply until he was buckled in on the other side, “Just tired,” you answered, offering him a small smile. 

He rubbed the pad of his thumb across your cheek, “Let me know if you need anything, okay?”

You nodded, offering him another small smile. The drive to the liquor store was rather quiet. Kent had put on some Frank Ocean, which you both had softly hummed along to until you pulled into the parking lot. 

Kent turned off the car and exited his side, only to appear on your side of the car a few seconds later to open the door for you. You grabbed his hand and as soon as he knew you were safely out of the car, he placed his arm on the small of your back protectively. The cool night breeze rolled in off of the ocean as you made your way through the parking lot. The distant sound of the waves crashing against the shore helped ease some of the nerves that had been building up inside of you.

“I feel like I’m gonna slip up at some point,” you admitted, resting your head against your boyfriend’s shoulder, “Cole’s just gonna keep offering me drinks and it’s gonna be suspicious if I keep saying no.”

Kent rubbed your back with the pad of his thumb, leaning down to press a kiss to the top of your head reassuringly, “You’re doing great, pretty girl. But I’ll tell you what. We’ll buy an extra pack of drinks, dump them out, and then go to the grocery store to buy some non-alcoholic alternatives that we can put in there instead. I would say we’d just buy some non-alcoholic beer here and have you drink that, but Adam’s overly observant.” he chuckled.

You nodded, shooting your boyfriend a relieved smile. You always appreciated how calm and steady he was. Even though you were both navigating this secret together, Kent always managed to make you feel like everything was under control.

When you stepped inside, the cool air-conditioning hit you immediately as the door jingled behind you. Kent headed straight for the fridge, grabbing a couple cases of beer and a bottle of whiskey that he knew Sean would like. You followed suit, selecting a case of High Noon out of the fridge. 

“Ready?” Kent asked, shooting you a smile when you replied with a yes.

As you reached the counter to pay, the cashier raised an eyebrow at you and Kent, his eyes flicking to your stomach before looking back at Kent. You shifted uncomfortably, aware that people might notice your changing body sooner rather than later. Kent caught the look too but didn’t say anything, keeping the conversation casual with the cashier as he handed over the money.

When you stepped back outside, you breathed a little easier. “Think he noticed?” you asked, half-joking.

“What an asshole,” Kent muttered, rolling his eyes playfully. 

The trip to the grocery store was pretty uneventful. Kent had gone in and picked out a sparkling water brand that you liked, along with some flavored sodas that looked fancy enough to pass as mixed drinks. On top of that, he grabbed a few more things, making sure you’d have enough variety to keep up appearances for the next few days. Once the cart was full, he checked out, the cashier giving him a friendly nod as he paid for the items.

When Kent reached the car, he opened your passenger side door. “Now comes the tricky part,” he said with a grin, opening up the package of High Noon and dumping out the drinks. He grabbed a few water bottles from his trunk before flushing out the alcohol from the cans - and thoroughly.

“I think that’s good, KJ,” you chuckled, flashing him a smile. He looked up at you and flashed you one in return.

“Gotta keep my girls safe,” he explained, ruffling your hair before opening up the bottles of sparkling water and pouring them into the clean cans with the same care, resealing them to make sure they looked untouched. Everything looked perfect - no one would suspect a thing. Kent stood back and took a moment to admire his work, placing the resealed package at your feet before ruffling your hair again. 

You rolled your eyes, shaking him off, before he quickly made his way back to his side of the car and hopped in. You looked at him incredulously, “We don’t even know what we’re having yet!” you exclaimed, but you knew there was no point in arguing. Ever since you told him that he was going to be a dad, he was adamant that the two of you were having a baby girl. Of course, he’d be happy as long as the baby’s safe and healthy, but that didn’t change his fatherly instinct, as he liked to call it. You rolled your eyes again, chuckling softly, and were on your way back to the beach house.

When the two of you arrived back there, Sean, Cole, and Adam’s rowdy laughter could be heard through the walls as you and Kent slipped through the side door into the kitchen. When he looked over towards you, he noticed how you self-consciously had placed your arms over your growing bump. Sensing your discomfort, he softly placed the alcohol down and gifted you the hoodie off of his back.

You smiled gratefully at him, grabbing the “seltzers” from him as he carried the whiskey and beer. The two of you carried the drinks out to the main room, where Sean, Cole, and Adam were engrossed in a game of Black Jack.

“Finally!” Cole exclaimed, dropping his cards as he noticed the two of you walk in, “We were wondering what took you so long!”

You chuckled, placing the drinks down on the table alongside Kent, “It’s Friday night in a vacation town,” Kent explained, shrugging his shoulders to keep it casual. Adam nodded along, seemingly saying fair enough.

As the guys reached for the beer and whiskey, Kent grabbed one of the “seltzer” cans and handed it to you with a wink. You accepted it gratefully, taking a sip and letting the cool, refreshing taste calm your nerves. He then wrapped an arm around you as you cuddled into his side.

The night continued on, with no one suspicious about what you and Kent had just pulled off. The boys were yelling about the game of euchre they were playing, earning a soft but playful eye roll from you. Kent kept a watchful eye on you, making sure you were comfortable, all while seamlessly blending in with his teammates.

As the night wore on, the laughter in the living room began to slow, and you could feel the weight of exhaustion settling over you. Between traveling all day and the energy it took to keep up appearances, your body was calling for rest. You smiled at the guys, pretending to stifle a yawn as you pushed your chair back from the table.

“I think I’m gonna call it a night,” you said, glancing around the room, “I’m pretty wiped from today.”

Sean, Cole, and Adam all gave you understanding looks, still focused on their cards and drinks. “You’ve earned it,” Sean said with a grin, “We’ll try not to be too loud and keep you up.”

“Good luck with that,” Adam teased, “Cole’s not exactly the quietest person you’ll ever meet.” 

You laughed lightly as Cole smacked Adam upside the head. Standing up and giving Kent a quick look, your eyes communicated more than words could in that moment. He caught your glance immediately, knowing exactly what you meant. You needed him with you, but at the same time, you didn’t want to raise suspicion by him leaving too soon after you.

“I’ll be up in a bit,” he said, giving you a small, reassuring smile, “I’ll keep an eye on Cole and make sure he’s not too loud.”

You nodded, giving him a quick hug and offering the guys a wave before slipping away from the table. As you climbed the stairs, you could hear them still talking and laughing, their voices a soft hum in the background. Once you were upstairs, you exhaled a long breath of relief, the tension of the day finally easing as you made your way to your room. 

You changed into your pajamas, feeling the weight of the day lifting as you settled onto the bed. It didn’t take long for Kent to join you. About 30 minutes later, you heard his familiar footsteps on the stairs, and the door quietly creaked open.

“Hey,” he said softly, closing the door behind him as he moved toward the bed, “You okay?”

You smiled, nodding as he sat down beside you, “Yeah, just tired. It was a lot today.”

Kent slid into bed next to you, wrapping an arm around your shoulders and pulling you into his chest. “I know. You did so good today, pretty girl. No one suspects a thing.”

You chuckled softly, resting your head against his chest, the steady rhythm of his heartbeat calming you, “Thanks for helping me pull it off. I don’t know what I’d do without you.”

Kent kissed the top of your head, his voice low and comforting, “Of course, my love. We’re a team.”

The two of you stayed like that for awhile, the soft sounds of the ocean outside your window mixing with the distant murmur of voices from downstairs. It felt peaceful, the weight of the day finally lifting now that you were alone together.

“I can’t wait until they're here,” you whispered after a few moments of silence, your hand resting gently over your stomach.

Kent smiled against your hair, his arm tightening around you, “Me too. But until then, we’ll keep playing it cool for as long as we can. You get some rest, though, alright? You’ve had a long day.”

You nodded, feeling sleep begin to pull at you as Kent’s warmth and presence comforted you, “Goodnight, KJ.”

“Goodnight, Y/N/N,” he whispered, pressing another soft kiss to your forehead.

With Kent beside you, you felt safe and content, knowing that no matter what challenges the next days would bring, you had him by your side. As your eyes fluttered shut, the last thing you felt was Kent’s hand gently resting on your stomach, a quiet reminder that the two of you were in this together. Always.

a/n; would kj be a girl dad or a boy dad

[diejager]

somnophilia with big brother simon?..😵‍💫

Cw: somnophilia, DARKFIC, INCEST, DUB-CON/NON-CON, creampie, unprotected sex, PinV, cockwarming, tell me if I missed any.

Slotting himself against you, he slipped into you without any struggle, basking in the warmth of your gummy walls. You were still slick and stretched from earlier, bending you over his desk and fingering you until you stopped squirming, compliant and soft under him, your cunt clenching around his fingers while you bucked backed and mewled softly. You fit so well in his arms, pressing your back to his chest as he spooned you, panting against your nape and mumbling little praises.

He rolled his hips, the fat head of his cock tapping your cervix, making his groan in pleasant appreciation. Pulling back, he gave a shallow and hard thrust, plunging back into you with a wet slap, his balls hanging from the side of his thigh. He soaked in your slick, feeling it drizzle down the thick base and wetting his groomed hair. You writhed in your sleep, walls fluttering around him, pulsing with a hot and strong beat, little moans slipping through your closed lips.

He fucked your slow but roughly, pulling out gently, throbbing inside of you before he rammed in, his tip kissing your cervix. It pulled sleepy mewls from you and grunting moans from him, his eyes closing in the sheer ecstasy of you. He missed this, feeling your sweet cunt milk him dry and pumping you full of cum, or pounding you into the mattress of your bed, but you’d been on a month long Op away from him. His little sis was taken away from him by another Task Force needing a temporary medic for a specific mission, gone for a month with little communication for classified reasons.

He’d shut down, the ice that had thawed had frozen over again, and he couldn’t jerk himself off when you were gone, leaving him to stalk the walls with heavy balls and a thick and neglected cock that demanded your attention. His mouth thirsted for a taste of your lips and your tangy slick, his hands itched to grip your hips and thighs and his cock ached to find the warmth of your cunt and hands. Nothing he’d done would soothe him, neither sleep nor pleasuring himself to the thought of you, naked on his bed, but it flet blasphemous to think of you in such ways.

What a hypocrite —a disgusting hypocrite. He would damn himself for imagining you in such ways despite being unable to control his thought and his actions when he ploughed into you, fucking his cum deeper. He felt you stir when he gave a particularly harsh thrust, jerking your whole body and wrenching a whimper from you.

“Si..?” Your voice was lathered in sleep, raspy and tired from just returning from your mission.

“ ‘m taking care of it, lovie. Don’t worry,” he groaned, gasping and rutting against you, his cock’s throbbing growing in strength and pace.

“Ah- o-okay.”

Without any struggle, your eyes closed and you went back to sleep, mind succumbing to your exhaustion and his manhandling, letting him do as he wished with you. Giving a few short and hard thrusts, growling in your ear, little praises about you being so good for him, he came after bottoming out, his balls tightening and cock twitching. Spurting cum from his sensitive slit, he felt your walls clamp down on him, pulling and coaxing all the load he had to offer you. He softened, limp shaft laying snugly inside your tight, painted cunt, mumbling incoherent words before he calmed down.

“Thank you,” he gasped, breathing loudly in your ear, “Thank you.”

[witchygagirlwrites]

That Damn Chain

Jay Halstead x Reader

In which you blurt out things in the heat of the moment and reveal some things about yourself and feelings you'd buried for one of your partners

NSFW happenings

How was it that you and Jay had yet again drawn the short straw to go undercover? You loved your partner but you were so damn tired of playing arm candy. The last three undercover ops you'd been dolled out and while normally you would've loved the occasion pampering the fact remained you hated not being able to have a weapon of any sorts on you. That left not only yourself unguarded but Jay's back as well should something go south.

You knew without a shadow of a doubt he’d protect you with his life, same as you him but if something happened where you walked away and he didn’t because he was protecting you? You weren’t sure of a scenario that would end well. No matter how hard you tried to deny it to yourself your partner had won your heart quite a while ago. You’d never admit it under threat of torture. Too much bad waters for him when it came to partners and too much to lose for you when he undoubtedly didn’t feel the same.

“Kim!” you flinched when she poked your eye with the eyeliner and she grimaced “I’m sorry honey!” Voight had lent you his office to get ready considering it had an actual locking door but it also didn’t have a mirror so you had to rely on her help with makeup and hair. You let a small smile slip onto your face “Didn’t hurt as bad as Adam getting the wire tangled in my hair the last time” she cracked a grin at the memory of you chasing him through the tech room and threatening to wax his beard off.

You and Jay were due at the club around ten to meet with Alex Henderson. A tycoon's son with too much money and not enough morals. He’d gotten bored partying it up with small-time drugs and hookers and moved onto trafficking heroin, fentanyl and as of late people. You just needed to get him on tape making a sale and you’d have him for it all. Jay was set up through a C.I, to meet with Alex. Poe was a former friend of Alex’s and when he’d gotten rolled up for suspicion in his girlfriend’s death when she overdosed he’d cut a deal to avoid the death sentence.

“There, you’re ready” she replied after a moment and you smiled. Your breasts felt like they were directly under your chin with how high the combination of a push up bra and corseted top accented them. The skirt you wore barely skimmed your thighs and as for the boots, you’d arrested actual hookers wearing more. “Do I at least get a jacket?” you groaned and she held up the long coat. At least it looked warm “It’s lined” she added as if she was reading your face so you smiled “You’re an angel Kim”

About that time there was a knock on the door followed by Voight asking if you were ready. You cut your eyes at Kim and took a deep breath before walking out. Hailey let out a low whistle “Damn Y/N” you winked at her “From you? I’ll take the catcall”

Adam looked at Kim with wide eyes “Those are a bit…much”  Kevin and Jay walked around the corner and both stopped dead in their tracks. “Jesus” Jay muttered under his breath and Kevin grinned before slapping his shoulder “C’mon Jay. That’s your partner man. Am I the only professional around here?” 

You were too busy practically drooling over what Jay was wearing. He was wearing a suit, tailored to hug his shoulders and the gold chain Will had given him for his last birthday peeking out the collar. After the last time he got shot he swore it was a good luck charm and wore it however often he could. That damn chain was a hazard to your health. The thoughts it caused to pop into your head were never rated to be having about a coworker. 

You plastered a smile on “Kim wired me up. If everyone is through admiring my cleavage can we please get this show on the road?” Voight chuckled “You heard the woman, lets get it done”

You walked into the club next to Jay. He had one arm tucked around your waist, fingers rubbing small circles onto your hip. You noticed he did that anytime you were supposed to be his girl undercover and it made you wonder if that was something he actually did or if it was just a thing to keep him in the mindset of the moment.

You covered his hand with yours and squeezed gently. “You ok Johnny?" you cut your eyes up at him and he smiled “Yeah baby, I’m good” your heart flipped anytime he had to call you baby or sweetheart or darling on these things. You knew they didn’t mean anything more than your false name at the moment.

—---------

Alex stood outside the V.I.P. section with two thick necked guards “Mr Reynolds!” Jay laughed “Man, call me Johnny. Only my old man goes by Mr Reynolds” the two shook then Alex looked at you “And the lovely Gwen is with you I see” Jay pulled you into his side “Always”

Alex motioned behind him “Let’s grab a drink and talk”. You felt Jay’s hand slip into yours as the two of you followed him and the guards. 

When you got to a booth Alex purposely sat where you’d have no choice but to sit next to him. Jay met your eyes before reaching a hand out, you took it and he pulled you down into his lap “Always been your favorite seat, right baby?” you smiled “Always Johnny" he looked over at Alex “Now, lets talk”

The teams’ voices through the com in your ear was your only grounding factor against the fire raging in your core every time Jay slightly shifted his leg. Did he fucking realize what he was doing?  His hand slipped down to gently squeeze your ass all the while never missing a beat at backing Alex into the corner all of you needed him in. You bit down hard enough on your bottom lip that you tasted blood to be able to focus.

You knew the moment the sale was made the unit would come in along with the uniforms waiting around the block to not only clear the club of civilians but to make sure none of Alex’s business partners showed up. “So what are we thinking here? Six kilos and five girls?” Alex said and you heard Voight give the order to surround the club.

—------------

Jay cut his eyes at you as he pulled you down next to him, effectively shielding your body with his. “Yeah” “That's a hefty price you sure you got it?” Alex pushed and Jay stood up, pulling you with him “Look man if you don’t want the money just say so”  “I didn’t say that. I’m just asking if you’ve got that funds for that much heroin and that many girls. It ain't cheap to bring either product in and I don’t want to lose my invested time and money and from the looks of it you put enough money into Gwen here, I mean if you wanna offer a trade” 

Alex took a step towards you and Jay stepped squarely in front of you “If you want to draw another breath you wont even finish that thought” “Point taken” Alex chuckled then looked at his guards “I gotta make some calls. Treat them well”

—-----------

When Alex left Jay eyed the guards then whispered “Go with it” he grabbed your hand and winked at the guard “We’ll be back fellas” the guards eyed the two of you so he slipped his hand down to grab your ass again and you gasped lightly then giggled to cover it up. The guards chuckled “Bathroom is down the hall” 

“What was that?” you asked and he whispered “I think we’re made. He may not be thinking cops but he knows something is up” “Do we need to come in?” Voight asked over the coms about the time the two of you made it to the bathroom. You’d just closed the door when the first bullets hit just above your head before Jay tackled you to the ground, covering your body with his.

“CHICAGO POLICE DEPARTMENT” you heard ringing out from around the club. Jay pulled his gun from his lower back and slowly crouched over you, his chain slipping free of his shirt to dangle in front of your face as he asked “Are you ok?” you weren’t sure what the hell came over you but when you looked up into those blue eyes after such a burst of adrenaline with that damn chain dangling you blurted out “I’ve had a few dreams in this position but they never started with us getting shot at”

His eyes widened before a grin slipped onto his face “Either you’re fine or delirious. We’ll figure that out later” he pulled your backup from where he’d carried it in on his left ankle and pressed it into your hand. At your questioning look he shrugged “You hate not having a weapon nearby” then pulled you to your feet so you could both go out and meet your unit.

 For the next few days you barely looked Jay in the eye, hoping like hell he had forgotten the dream comment. Maybe he’d chalk it up to weird shit people said when adrenaline hit?

You should’ve known better when Friday night found you at Mollys. You were talking to Ethan and April at the bar while Stella made your drink. The week had been a little crazy so you were happy to relax. 

You knew the presence anywhere the moment a hand slipped around your waist “Hey partner” you cut your eyes up “Hey Halstead” he nodded to April and Ethan before passing a twenty over your head to Stella to pay for your drink and his own beer. He leaned down close enough, his breath caused a shiver to run through you when he whispered “Can we talk?”

You nodded, thanking Stella for your drink and telling April you’d see her later. Jay kept his hand at your lower back as the two of you walked over to a booth in the far corner. You slid in and cut your eyes up at him “Is this you making fun of me? Because if so I swear..” he grinned “No, this is me asking about those dreams”

You raised an eyebrow and he shrugged “What was I doing?” you leaned across the table to flick that damn chain out of his shirt before saying “Well that thing was dangling in my face for an entirely different reason besides you tackling me to keep me from getting shot” he damn near choked on his beer at that.

You laughed “Jay, chill. It’s no big deal. People have weird sex dreams. Doesn’t mean anything” his eyes flicked up to yours “So you don’t have any feelings for me? Because it’s been hard as hell acting like I don’t have feelings for you” “What?” you asked, sitting your drink down on the table.

He grinned and leaned over to grab your hand “I’ve wanted you for so damn long but because of my past relationship with a partner..” you shrugged “Just because you and her didn’t work out doesn’t mean anything” he stared at you for a moment before saying “I want you so damn much but I don’t want to rush things” you smiled slightly “Well in our job we could get killed tomorrow?” 

He shook his head but that smile he gave you was nothing short of gorgeous “Are you trying to get me in bed?” you took a sip of her drink then nodded “Yeah, I am” he nodded then took a swig of his beer before standing up “Just making sure” and grabbed your hand.

“You’re sure about this?” Jay asked as the two of you stumbled into his apartment, barely breaking away from each other long enough to make it inside the door and get it closed behind you before he had you pushed back against it as his mouth worked the sensitive skin of your neck.

You gasped when he hit a particular spot, hands digging into the material of his shirt “I’m sure. Take your damn shirt off Jay” he pulled away from you and grinned “You’re always so bossy” before slipping his shirt over his head and tossing it. You pushed him back from you a little and he looked concerned until you smiled and ran your hands over his chest “Fuck Halstead” you couldn’t help but to be a little dumbfounded at having him in front of you like this. He grinned “I’m yours” and pulled you back into his arms, dropping another kiss to your lips before tugging you towards his bedroom. “I think you said something about wanting to be in a position with my chain dangling in your face?” you fucking whimpered in response and he chuckled “Oh I’m gonna have fun with you baby. You make such sweet sounds to be so mean to me at work”

He walked backwards into the room and sat on the edge of the bed, pulling you down into his lap. You straddled him and just the way he looked up at you could’ve made you come apart. His hands went to the hem of your shirt “Can I take this off?” you pulled it off yourself and tossed it across the room. He smiled “Look at you. Looks even better than that damn top was showing” his mouth lowered to your clothed chest, kissing across the soft mounds of flesh “What’s better is only I get to see you like this”

He reached behind you and slipped your bra off with ease before his hands came up to cup your breasts. “Damn” you moaned lightly at just how gentle he was being, like he was afraid you’d break.  One hand left your breast to slip around your throat, not applying pressure just controlling your attention. “If we do this baby, know it means I’m yours and you’re mine. I don’t share well” 

You nodded and he shook his head “Words baby, I need words” “I’m yours Jay” you spoke and he leaned forward, just shy of kissing you before saying “Damn right you are” he turned, flipping the two of you so your back was on the bed and he was on top of you. Your eyes flicked down to his chain and he chuckled “Does that turn you on?” you nodded and he grinned “It’s turned you on the whole time I’ve had it, hasn’t it?”

“It has” you admitted and he grinned before catching your lips in a bruising kiss. He moved from your lips, across your jaw then down your neck. The stark comparison of the warmth of his lips with the cool metal of the chain had you squirming under him. One of his hands went to your hips, pinning them.

He kissed across your chest, taking his time to mark both breasts “So everyone knows they’re his” when he got to your jeans he looked up at you and winked before slipping them off your hips. He started at your left ankle, kissing up and stopping just shy of where you needed him before giving the right leg the same treatment.

Just when you were sure you’d die from teasing he licked one long stripe through your folds and when your hips bucked up and fingers went to his hair he kissed your inner thigh and said “That’s my girl” before diving in.

—------------------

You’d had men go down on you before but Jay was an entirely different story. The way his tongue worked at your clit, fingers finding their way inside of you to move in tandem as he worked you over that edge back to back until you were pushing at his shoulders begging him “Please Jay! It’s too much”

When he pulled back to look at you he smiled before kissing your trembling thighs “How ya feeling?” you curled a finger at him and his smile turned into a full blown smirk as he kissed his way up your body before finally making it to your mouth, letting you taste yourself on him.

You could feel his hard cock pressing on your thigh so you spread your legs a little further to give him the invitation. He pressed his forehead against yours as he moved one hand to line himself up with your opening before slowly slinking in. When he was finally bottomed out you both let out a moan. 

—------------------

He held himself up once he was sure you were ready and gave a tentative thrust.  When your response was to grip his shoulders he buried his face into your neck for just a breath before it was like a thought occurred to him. He pulled back and grabbed your hands then pulled them up over your head,holding them in place as his eyes met yours “I wanna see you fall apart” he grunted and you felt yourself clench around him. 

His eyes fluttered at the feeling “Just like that then huh baby?” he sat a rough pace that meant with each roll of his hips you could feel every ridge and vein of his cock as he pounded into you.  You were itching to touch him but he still held your hands, that damn chain in your face as he worked you closer and closer to that edge.

When his fingers found your clit and he started to rub tight circles onto it you felt that pressure that had been building inside of you burst and you came with a loud moan of his name. The feeling of your orgasm pushed him over the edge as well, burying himself inside of you with one final thrust.

He finally released your hands as he buried his face in the bend of your neck, both of you working to get your breathing back to normal. Your hands went to his shoulders, smoothing down the muscles as your lips kissed any skin you could reach. 

He laughed lightly and leaned up to press a kiss to your lips “A damn chain got us to admit how we felt” you shrugged and tapped it “I happen to like that damn chain” he looked down to where he was still buried hip deep in you “Yeah, I like it pretty good myself”

[the-witch-of-one-piece]

Toying with you during sex OP Edition N/SFW

Featuring Law, Ace, Marco, Mihawk and Hongo TW: Sexual Content, Masturbation, Suggestive Language WC: 710 (not edited)

Your toes were curling tightly together as you felt his cock sliding in and out of your slippery warm cunt. His larger body towering over your frame with each thrust your breast bounced. The sound of your wet skin slapping against one another. His hands gripping the back of your thighs pressing them close to your chest. The mess you were making on his cock as he slid inside of you,  pleased his sight. How much of a mess you were each you both were intimate he knew he would make you go a bit crazier with the magic of his finger. These fingers pressing against your overly sensitive clit. “Shiiii~  ahh~” you felt your hips buckle as if you were playing with your clit.

~~~~~~~~~~

Law 

The doctor of death fingers was always so skilled and knew how to make you quiver with the simplest touch. Law keeps himself level-headed making sure he doesn’t cum too fast. He could feel you clenching around his cock tighter. Letting out a low growl as he clenched his jaw tightly together. You cried out his name repeatedly. Nothing more appealing than hearing you cry out his name. He didn’t stop messing with your clit as he leaned forward in a deep low voice. “Keep saying my name like that ya, when you make me cum I won’t stop playing with you.”

Ace

The little bit of warmth coming from his fingertips was a completely different sensation to your throbbing clit. The freckle face commander licked his lips as he watched you trying to compose yourself but it was becoming far too hard for you.  You felt a bit embarrassed how you were yelling his name aloud knowing some of the other crew was listening to the little fuck session. Managing to place your hand around your mother as you muffled your moans displeased him. It didn’t take him long to bring your hand down from your lips. “I don’t want you quiet babe, let them  hear, let them know how good I’m fucking you.” 

Marco

Your juices coat his fingers as he continuously stimulates your clit to make you sensitive. Feeling his thick lips latch onto your breast he continued to suck on them leaving his own mark. Your hands gripping the blond's hair. The whimpers pour out of your mouth. The sweet melody to his ears brings his head from your breast. He slowed how his finger motion which seemed to make you way more sensitive than the motion he was doing “I can see you want to cum yoi. Cum for me~~.”

Mihawk

Mihawk's had your hands tied up above your head you couldn’t even touch the man as his fingers worked on your clit. This thumb rubs your clit in a circular motion this drove you crazy.  A bead of sweat trickled from his forehead down his neck. He looked down at your swollen cunt seeing the dripping mess landing on your sheets. Mihawk being the ultra dom he is has to hear how well he is making you feel and he won't settle for a simple answer from you. He needs to hear you cry for it and beg him for more. “Tell me, Mi Amor, how much more can you handle? I don’t think your body withstand what I can fully make your experience with just a simple touch” 

Hongo 

You were never mentally prepared for multiple orgasms when it came to you and Hongo being intimate with one another. Just when one orgasm hit you another one was ready to come shortly after. His hair was messy a few blond strands were sticking to his face. Another Doctor that was good with his hands with a lot of experience throughout the years knew how to get you riled up. Bring his two fingers to his lips, coating them in his saliva, bringing it down to yours once more is rubbing it. Pressing ever so slightly you felt your vision becoming blurry you knew it was approaching once more. The cocky grin on his lips as he proceeds to quicken his finger motion. “You can cum all you want. I promise to take care of the mess you make right after.” 

[mychlapci]

need prowl with a distracted/uninterested/bored kink, as in the other mech couldn't care less about prowl while hes trying to fuck. most bots give prowl all their attention, and while thats nice, it's the bots that dont care that drive prowl hot and bothered. just imagine, prowl autobot head tactician and SIC, deliriously humping and moaning on somemechs leg, who's clearly not giving any mind to prowl at all. it drives him crazy, his ego and position scream for attention and respect from all autobots, ghe embarrassment of not pleasing his lover gets him off

hes gets it on with most of high command, but once they learn of his little kink, they all pitch in "ignore prowl" objective.

jazz playing his electro bass in his room while stepping on prowl, handcuffed to the floor, rubbing on his anterior node, making prowl scream and tremble but jazz is way too busy strumming those notes baby. he taps his foot to the melodious beat, stomping on prowls valve while the music drowns out the tacticians sounds. even when prowl pisses himself, the spec ops officer doesn't stop his playing or his foot for a second

ratchet doing prowls maintenance check up while hes face down on the hospital bed, checking his vitals and all that while intentionally shoving his fingers into delicate wiring and sensitive door wings. prowl jumps and squirms but ratchet just grumbles and pushes him back down. prowls valve and spike drool lubricants everywhere but ratchet doesn't touch them, doesn't even acknowledge them for pure professional duty. hes treating prowl as if he was simply a fussy sparkling and not a grown horny mech.

red alert is on security patrol, eyes laser focused on the terminals displaying the security camera footage, paying absolutely no mind to prowl sitting on his lap grinding his swollen node against his leg, holding onto his body for dear life, moaning and lapping at his neck pathetically. everytime prowls tries to grab red facial plates and turn away his gaze from the footage, he growls and tugs on the tacticians door wings, hard. prowl takes off his chest plates and presses his large boobs against the security commanders chest, groaning as his hips pick up the pace and energon starts to spill from his nipples but the mech wont budge.

wheeljack disabled the sensors from his lower body, diverting his attention only to the work on his workdesk and not to the mewling autobot pawing at his array, sucking and kissing at his spike and valve. wheeljack doesn't even notice whenever he reaches over the table to grab a tool, his spike presses deeper into prowls mouth while he grinds his wet valve onto the floor. if prowl tries to grab at wheeljacks arms, he gets a simple slap away. prowl tries with all his might to fuck his face onto the thick spike, hoping to suck the transfluid out, but with wheeljacks sensors disabled its limp. even when perceptor comes in to hand wheeljack lab reports, making funny small talk, neither pay any mind to prowl moans and chokes. maybe he permits one of his sensors on his array, his piss hole, and voids shamelessly inside prowls mouth, emptying his tank while still focused on the project before him.

optimus and elita 1 are having a very important and serious meeting to discuss, which is why they only focus on eachother and not the mech beneath them on the berth, tied up like a birthday present with his hands behind his back and his legs pressed against his belly, impaled by two large spikes up his valve and his mouth. prowl is shaking and moaning, begging around optimus spike to please please move, please just fuck and use him. but this is a very important meeting, so elita and optimus ignore him, staying still as mountains, discussing important tactics on how to move in on the decepticons without giving away their position, even placing down datapads and pens on prowls back, using him as if he were a table between them. when prowl finally goes still, elita and optimus start to move, but only to kiss eachother. they make out sloppy, slowly causing their spikes to move inside of prowl. he tries begging for more, but their focus is solely on each other, murmuring praises, whispering soft promises, and combing out their fears and hopes for this war, for their relationship. its all so sweet and vulnerable and intimate and has nothing to do with the filthy scene between their legs. this slow torture continues until elita and optimus open up their chest plates, pressing against eachother as their waists are only separated by prowls body, their spikes pressing against his gestion tank and the back of his throat. they overload as their sparks merge, leaving prowl still charged and unsatisfied.

maybe as a little epilogue, prowl gets pregnant with elitas baby, and gets off on elita and optimus talking to him as if he was just and incubator for their baby, like kind of an objectification kink except of course they dont use the object, they only just talk above him

oOooh Prowl's usually on the other side of this scenario, so it's really inch resting to have him be the desperate, horny slut, getting off of being ignored and treated like furniture or a slight annoyance.

All of the high command know that when Prowl crawls up on all fours, it's play time. He can lap at their panels, hump their legs, and they'll just ignore him completely as he whines and whimpers.

Hrhhh Elita and Optimus using him as a warm table that they can put their spikes in, talking above him until Prowl is a quivering mess, grinding his hips against Elita's lap to try and wring out an overload out of his poor, stretched valve... They don't care if he has a huge belly hanging under him, he's still just part of the scenery, and he'll behave himself accordingly.

[redheartedtramp]

RWBY on Reddit

Blake: Am I The Asshole for Slapping my Boyfriend so hard his mask came off?

Blake: I (16F, Faunus) told my boyfriend (21M, also a Faunus) that he can't just attack random people on the street because they're humans. I know that Reddit hates #NotAllHumans, but, like, literally not every human is racist against faunus.

He, like, literally, pulled his katana out and nearly cut a random guy's head off cause he bumped into him on accident.

He treats every slight as a microaggression.

I was helping an old man (human) cross the street and he freaked out! He thought this old man was some pervert and he drew his sword on him. I tried to stop him gently, but he pushed me aside and said he was going to 'execute' the poor, trembling old man.

Then, I slapped him.

His mask fell off (it's a pretty distinct burn mark, long story) and he freaked out on me and called me a race traitor.

He hasn't talked to me since. I feel bad, I know he's sensitive about his face and that was a low blow of me. I feel I should apologize, but when I think about doing so, I think about how he nearly killed an old man who was having trouble walking.

So, am I the asshole? Should I apologize?

Ruby: This isn't even a bruh moment. What the actual fuck?

Weiss: Girl, don't walk. Run. Run fast.

Jaune: You'd be the asshole to YOURSELF if you don't get out of there! NTA.

Yang: Yo, this story sounds sus. Are you okay?! Has he hurt you? This is beyond Reddit's paygrade. You need to get away from this guy. Your post reeks of an abuse victim and I'm worried for you, OP.

[scoonsalicious]

Pocket MCU: Iron Man 2/?

In which Pocket discovers that Tony has gone missing in Afghanistan.

Word Count: 706

Scene In-Movie @ ~25:00

“What do you mean, ‘he’s missing’?” you asked angrily as you paced your office. “How the fuck do you lose the richest man on the planet, Obadiah?”

“You’re gonna need to watch your mouth and your tone, missy,” Obadiah Stane chastised you. You glared at him. Tony had disappeared on his way back to base from his weapons demonstration, and here you were being lectured at like you were a petulant child. 

“What are we doing to look for him?” you asked. “We’ve gotta have, like, a search party out there or something, right?”

Obadiah looked at you like you were an idiot. “It’s a military endeavor now, (Y/L/N). Stark Industries has no jurisdiction or business in conducting a recovery op.”

You blinked at the older man, disgusted. “Recovery op? How can you say that?” you asked. “How can you FUCKING SAY THAT?!” He was acting as if Tony were dead, as if there was no chance of rescue. 

“(Y/N), I know you and Tony were… close,” he said with the same disdain you’d come to expect from people who didn’t understand your relationship with the billionaire, “but you have to be reasonable. His convoy was attacked by insurgents. His entire escort is dead. The chances of his survival are–”

“Then where’s his body?” you asked, desperation growing in your voice. “If they killed him, why haven’t they announced it? Why haven’t they put it online? Taken credit for it?”

“I don’t know,” Obadiah rubbed his forehead. “But it’s not something you need to be worrying about right now.”

“Not something I should be worrying about? Then tell me, Stane, what the fuck should I be worrying about?”

Obadiah sighed, as though you were testing his patience. “With Stark missing and presumed dead,” you flinched at his words, “you now hold temporarily controlling interest in Stark Industries, and acting authority as CEO.”

“What?” you asked, shock barely allowing you to process Obadiah’s words. “What the hell do you mean, I have controlling interest?”

“It was in Tony’s living will,” he said, a hint of annoyance in his voice. “I don’t know what kind of magic cunt you have, but you sure as shit put him in a trance.”

You pulled your hand back and slapped the man hard in his face. “Fuck you, Stane,” you seethed.

He grabbed your wrist. “You hold Tony’s position now,” he said. “And you need to make sure that DOD contract goes through– that we sell every single one of those Jericho missiles.”

“I need to find Tony,” you told him. “We need to find Tony. I don’t give a shit about any contracts, and I’m not going to take on any of his roles unless we know he’s really gone.”

“You’re a naive little girl, (Y/N),” Obadiah said. “War doesn’t stop just because you lose one man. The sooner you learn that lesson, the better off you’re going to be.”

“He’s not just one man,” you said. “He’s Tony Fucking Stark. I owe him everything, and I am not going to rest until I find him.”

Obadiah shook his head, disappointed. “And here he kept talking about how smart you are.”

“You’re supposed to be his friend,” you said, feeling ill that someone who had known Tony for so long, had watched him grow up, would give up on him so easily.

“I’m his business partner, my dear,” Obadiah said matter of factly. “And it’s my job to make sure we still have a business. Now,” he headed toward the door of your office, seeing himself out, “make sure get those contracts settled. Or else.”

“Or else what?” you asked him defiantly. You were not afraid of Obadiah Stane. You’d survived men far, far worse.

“You sure you want to find out, (Y/N)? Tony’s not around to protect you anymore.” Obadiah gave you a final warning glare as he walked out the door.

You took a breath. Then two, then three. After a long count to ten, you picked up your cell phone, flipped it open, and dialed.

“Rhodey?” you said when the call was picked up at the other end. “It’s me. Listen, how soon can you get me on a flight to Afghanistan? I’m coming to help.”

[simpscripts]

Say My Name Part 4 (Bernard the elf x Reader)

18+ Smut, Afab Reader

This is the final part, I hope you enjoy!

He doesn’t wait for you to catch up, his arms sweeping under your legs, repositioning your body to cradle you with your arms tied around your back against his chest. From this position you feel how hard he is as your butt swings back against his crotch as he moves you both over to the rug. He turns to sit and lean back against the cobbled fireplace wall, supporting you in his lap as he spreads your legs. One arm wraps around your waist, holding your position back against him. The other slides down to rub three fingers flat against your clit, quickly sliding past the nerves, before stopping and slapping your thigh.

Your heads still spinning as his teeth reach to bite your ear lobe, then getting soothed with the lick of his tongue. “Don’t you dare cum until I hear what I want.”

He starts his next round of torture by continuing the onslaught of friction against your clit, waiting for your moans to build before slapping your bright red and stinging thighs. The pain and pleasure work together to flood your brain into a euphoric state in between the spaces, clouding your judgment. Your squirming is pointless against his grip and only serves to push your crotch against his fingers or back against his cock pressing into your ass. You feel puffs of warm air hit your ear as he breaths in pants, restraining himself when he starts thrusting up against you.

“Just say my name, and I will give you everything you want.” He purposefully thrust up against you, causing you to squeal as his hands push down against your clit.

You’re too hazy to speak properly anymore, instead you elect to throw you head back and forth, whining in discontentment. You’re resolve is breaking apart piece by piece and seeing as his current tactic of torture failed to get you to fully break his fingers move to spread down through your folds to try a new one. After brushing his fingers through to spread your slick arousal around he glides his middle finger in, curling at the top once fully in. He starts slow to test your reactions before speeding up and bending deeper inside to explore.

You feel the textured exchange of his fingers gliding against your walls, and the shocks of them curling to hit even deeper to push against the walls and nerves. Your eyes prick and sting as your nerves clench around his fingers, the pressure brightly intense. Feeling your walls clench he slips another finger in, pumping at a steady pace that thrusts all the way back to his knuckles. His arm around your waist curls up to play with your nipple and his mouth attaches to your neck to bite along your throat and ears. Every last sensation burns hot on your skin and your mind can’t take it anymore, wanting to release the rolling stings torturing your body.

“Is there something you would like to say?” His fingers work at a brutal pace, finger tips pushing in on the upper wall.

He has been so close to the spot you needed him to get to, just the pressure sliding around the nerve was making your head spin. Your mouth is desperately trying to speak his name, your so close to insanity you’d do anything. You’re breaking apart as his finger briefly swipe across the exact spot that jerks your legs out, thighs stretching in and out unsure if you want to give him more or less access, and toes curling against the plush carpet in ways you swear you can hear the knuckles pop. If you didn’t have your voice before it’s now crawling and screeching out of your throat.

“FUCK OK! Bernard, Bernard, Bernard, please let me, right there just fuck, I need, Bernard please.” Your back arches as you go dumb, pleading and babbling trying to direct him to the spot. “Please I love you so much Bernard, I need it please fuck just let me cum!”

His hand wrapped around your waist pulls your arched back against his chest more firmly, keeping you in place as you thrashed. His legs quickly wrapped against your legs as best as possible and spread them completely open for him. His fingers angled again searching for the spot a bit slower than his pace before so he doesn’t lose it. The moment your body jerks his tenses against you to keep you steady, fingers pushing and circling around the sensitive nerve cluster that thump along with your rapid heart beats. You could feel every pulse, the slightly rough texture of the pads of his fingers circling, and especially the slickness coating every inch helping his fingers glide without snagging. Finally he angles his thumb to mirror the circles inside, pleasure of your nerves on the very edge.

“That’s it, cum for me.” His teeth latch onto your shoulder as he holds you tight.

It all crashes down on you starting with the crushing grip of your walls clenching around his fingers still moving inside you. Next your moans screams out of your mouth as you throw your head back against his shoulder. You can feel the pain of his bite through the low beats of waves that roll across your body. As you ride out your high your hips bear down against his bulge, feeling intermittent twitches through the fabric of his pants as he thrusts against your body. The high of it has you freezing in a long stretch before taking deep breaths and collapsing against his chest as your energy leaves you.

His fingers slowly slide out but don’t leave your skin. Slowly he moves them through your folds as your brought down, careful to avoid over stimulating the sensitive flesh. With your head tilted back against him he brings a hand up to cradle your neck back to kiss. You’re floating without breath as you kiss, muscles melting to goo against him. His hands trail up your body, drifting across the surface of the skin, and then squeeze around your breasts. After pinching the perked nipples they continue their way up to untie the bow around your neck, loosening the whole wrap, then comb through the ribbons to pull it off your skin.

Your skin warmed across the indentations criss crossing along your body. Slowly you move your arms back forward to stretch out along with the rest of your dazed body. Bernard leans you both forward, rolling you both together onto the floor. He lands above you, one arm resting on his elbow to the side of your head so the other can run along your body freely. With your hand now free you move to find his hand against your waist and twine your fingers together while leaning up to kiss him.

His moves your hand with his up to his cheek and he leans in to the kiss. You continue spreading your fingers back through his hair to tug on the locks from the base and nip at his lips to leave them as bruised and red as he left yours. His hips roll against yours and you break from his kiss to move your hand down to slip below his waistband. You grab onto his hard length and start tugging, leaning up to kiss him again once you find a rhythm.

He moans against your lips from your ministrations, seemingly falling into his own pleasure now that he’s claimed his victory over you. His hand follow down next to yours cupping your sex and slipping through your folds. You both breath in each other between kisses and moans through this simple intimate pleasure. You swipe your thumb across the head of his cock on an upward stroke, spreading the drop of precum across the bundle of nerves there. He jerks his length up against your hand in reaction, groaning against your lips.

He pushes back from your body, sighing as your hand slips out of his pants. He sits back between your legs quickly, reaching his thumbs to pull the suspenders off his shoulders, and unbutton his pants to let his cock out. Licking your lips you lay back fully against the rug, sighing as you watch him pull himself for a moment then leans back over you to give you a light kiss.

“I can’t wait anymore.” With eyes clenched shut his hand guides his length through your lips, pressing the head of his cock against your clit.

Your legs wrap around him, pulling him close, and sighing out, “Bernard.”

He stutters out a curse, running his cock through your folds a few times before burying himself inside you to the base. Groaning out he moves his now available hand to grab at your waist, pulling your body closer to his. Your walls clench down once before relaxing to feel the fullness he’s providing you, satisfying the itch for a brief moment as you adjust. His other hand cradles against your cheek as he waits, breathing heavy, and staring down at you with hooded eyes. His thumb moves to brush across your parted lips as you pant and nod to him to keep moving.

He draws the length out until just the head sit at the entrance before pushing back in, following the movement with rolling thrusts. Your eyes can’t break away from his as he watches every expression pass over your face with every hit to your core. It’s an intense pace he is starting off with that has you leaning forward, causing your spine to curve your hips away from the overstimulation. Your gaped mouth curves around the thumb resting against your lip, sucking on this digit, and staring right back at him. Your heart flutters as you feel his pace stutter from your action.

His eyes break contact first as he dips quickly to suck on your nipples, moving his hand down to knead the area. With his new bent position his hips shifted to a new angle that allowed his cock to rub against the swollen cluster of nerves. Your legs shifted around to get a good hold, your hands reaching around his back to scratch your fingers down his back. Your clawed grip sinks in more as his hands hold your hips down against the rug, snapping his hips harshly against you while you hang on to him and scream. You feel the fur rug shift under you as the force of his thrusts bounces your body back along the ground.

Your breath hitches as he quickly rolls you both around again, landing you chest down on top of him, and he continues to thrust up into your cunt. Your moans stagger out between each jostle of his pumping, his arms still clenched around your back holding you tight to him as he uses you. As the pace slows back down he releases his grip to land a smack against your as and lets out a moan.

As he takes a chance to breath you lean up to sit back fully on his length, positioning to roll your hips forwards. You hold on to your breasts to play with the sensitive tissue as you use his length to rub against your walls where you need them. He watches you with blown pupils, assisting your chase for pleasure by rubbing your clit. Your thighs start to burn as you bounce on his length so you slow the pace, raising your hips slowly until his head pops out, and sits just against the entrance.

You smile watching his eyes scrunch in confusion when you don’t move to go back down on him. His hands try pulling your waist down but you clench your thighs to hold his movements. He tries another time with more force to thrust up into your cunt but again you clench just enough to keep him at bay. Your teeth tug your bruised lip in as you watch him glare up at you.

He does the only next step he can take by throwing all his weight into pushing you both to roll. You playful wrestle against him, teasing him one last time to get him to explode. The altercation ends with his hand pining your wrists above your head while you lay panting on your back. Immediately he thrusts back in, grabbing your waist, and thrusts directly against the spot that arches your back on impact.

“Bernard please,” You whimper out.

His fingers dig little crescent moon marks into your hips as he tries a few different angles in quick succession. Your head snaps back against the ground when he hit the spot you need him to and you gasped out loudly.

“Fuck there, right there.”

He follows your lead keeping the pace steady and in the same spot. He tries to help your building tension by rubbing your clit but you cry out against the sensitive touch. Your nerves are painful now as you chase the edge, tears pricking your eyes in desperation.

“I can’t, I-fuck, I need you.” Your whimpering loudly with need, moving your body against him in any way that can help push you over. “Bernard please.”

“I’m right here love, cum for me.”You can heard the need thick in his own voice, pleading with you now to fall apart in his arms.

Your voice opens in a silent scream as you clench around him, his body still thrust at a brutal pace to hold you through your orgasm. The last orgasm was sharp and buzzing but this one fills your body with a deep pressure that holds you tight. Every muscle holds tightly together before snapping and every drop of tension bleeds out as you melt. His hands grip your waist with a white knuckle grasp as he helps you ride out your pleasure making sure to extend your high for as long as possible until he helps bring you back down. His body shudders as your clenched walls releases its death grip on him and once you fully ride out your orgasm he falls apart on top of you with your name spilling from his lips.

You both lay there panting, hot skin brushing each other as your chests rise and fall together. You feel both your juices push out around him still throbbing inside you and tickles your skin as it drips down causing you to shiver in bliss of being fully used and filled. You can’t discern the soft look he gives you, his hand coming up to play with your hair line. As your body comes down from the high you feel the pain from bites and bruises along your skin. The pain flares lightly as you shift, making you smile softly now that your skin is decorated with red marks from him. His lips meet your forehead in a gentle kiss trailing down to your nose and mouth.

“How are you feeling?” His voice whispers out against your lips.

“Good.” You hum out hoarsely, not used to using your strained throat yet.

“You sure I didn’t go too hard?” His hands ghost over the marks along your hip from his nails digging in.

“Mmhm.”

“Are you sure? I bit your neck pretty hard, and-“ You cut off his concerned ramble with your lips.

“I’m sure Bernard.”

He smiles against your lips, “Don’t ever call me anything else, or I’ll have to drag you right back here until you scream my name so loud the whole North Pole hears it.”

You most definitely would do this again, every single chance you got you, every second you can to have your body against his. His voice grunts softly into your lips as he slowly pulls out of your heat and you whine softly. You both reluctantly part from the kiss to stretch out your limbs and sit up. He takes a moment to analyze your body trailing his fingers across bite marks, bondage indentations, and red inflamed skin from slaps. His hand comes back to grab your hand in his and guides you slowly to stand with him. His other arm slips around your waist in assistance to your wobbling form, leading you over to the large love seat in his office near the window.

“You did so good, now sit down, and let me take care of you.” He guides you down to the plush seat.

His hands reach to the side table and that’s when you notice a bunch of stuff that wasn’t in here when you first arrived. This must have been what he was getting while you undressed and your heart warms looking at the giant pile of items he gathered for you. A giant pile of every item you could ever need is all stacked neatly comprising of blankets, med kits, lotions, candy, glasses of water, and more buried beneath the items. He grabs a wash cloth and softly pats your skin for you, knowing your too tired to do anything but lounge back. Once he is sure your cleaned up he cleans himself up and tucks himself back into his pants making you pout. Your skin starts chilling back up and instead of letting you put your clothes back on he bundles you up in several blankets.

“Now I guess someone has to do some work around here, and by the looks of you, you wont be doing work anytime soon. So stay right here and relax while I work and afterwords I’ll take you out to replace that hot cocoa I made you abandon earlier.” His fingers brush some sweaty strands of hair sticking in front of your face out of your eyes. “How does that sound, love?”

You hum happily, feeling your eye lids grow heavy as sleepiness creeps over you. His lips give your forehead one last kiss and mumbles something you can’t make out before you feel yourself drifting to sleep feeling fully satisfied with the results of your naughty habits.

[mutantjellybeans]

Not to go on about this again but like it does get a little frustrating sometimes when people incorrectly announce that something is 100% canon for real in the comics based solely on like a single panel they saw someone else post online, it’s mostly harmless because, yeah, they’re fictional comic books but yall should know by now people can make jpegs do anything they want so next time you see a panel with someone insisting that its contents are 100% canon for real:

Have you read the comic the panel came from? The panel could be taken out of context and have an entirely different meaning within the story itself or it could actually say something completely different all together

Did the OP provide a comic name and issue number? If OP doesn’t provide an issue number that’s a major sign that the panel could be edited, especially if the character is saying something particularly outlandish

Speaking of outlandish: is the text in the panel a reference to another piece of media or do you think it might be a reference to another piece of media? This could be a sign it’s taken from an incorrect quotes account and not an actual comic

Does the text look weird? Is the text different sizes/fonts or weirdly spaced in the bubble? This one might be hard to notice if you’re not into graphic design or typography so no judgement if you don’t but things like letter/word spacing, text size, font, bubble shape, etc is something that’s taken very seriously, bubbles need to be easy to read, pleasing to the eye, and take up as little space as possible, that’s why lettering is a whole separate job in the comic book industry. For example, in these panels “sons…” would not be left on it’s own in one line, “ya basic” would be given more impact, and all the text in the bubbles on the second panel are way too squished together (notice how the words are basically touching the outside of the bubble and how “devastating” is squished and small)

Similarly, is the text a higher quality than the rest of the image? In the infamous “I know you’re here Dracula, where’s my goddamn money?” Moon Knight image that a lot of people thought was real, for example, there’s a certain graininess to the image that doesn’t extend to the text bubble, which is notably clean-looking, in higher quality versions of the image you can even see the pixels of the text bubble that was slapped over the original text (which shouldn’t be possible considering the comic came out in the 80’s)

Did you look at OP’s page? Are they a fanartist? Some extremely talented fanartists dedicate a lot of time and effort to mimicking the comic book style, and they can be really good at it, though unfortunately these fanartists’ work are often reposted without credit which can lead others to believe they’re canon when they’re not, in this case remember: 1. look for an issue number, 2. reverse image search to see if you can find where the panel came from, and 3. keep in mind…

An A-list superhero being canonized as queer is a huge fucking deal, like mainstream news big deal, if an A-list character was confirmed as queer it would be absolutely goddamn everywhere, from IGN and comic book YouTubers to fucking Joe Rogan and late night talk shows, you wouldn’t be able to hear the end of it, so if you think “hey, shouldn’t this be a bigger deal?” stop and investigate further

And finally, the most annoying question: are you sure this is the right version of the character? Comics are filled with alternate timelines, parallel universes, clones, shapeshifters, and so on, are you absolutely positive that the panel you’ve found is the classic character from the main timeline? For example, people frequently used to use Harley and Ivy’s kiss in Bombshells as proof that their relationship was canon in the main DC timeline (it wasn’t, but it is now!), and people still use Logan and Hercules’s relationship in X-Treme X-Men #10 as proof that Wolverine is bisexual in the main 616 universe, which he is not, though it is kind of implied sometimes

I know a major part of this is me being an annoying, nit-picking comic book elitist and, yes, this is all mostly harmless BUT I also think this could be a really great way to exercise your media literacy skills as well as a good, harmless lesson in not taking everything you see online at face value and, hey, it might even get you to read some really great comic books in the process!

Improve your media literacy and critical thinking skills one edited comic book panel at a time! K thx, love you, bye!

[beesmygod]

JJBA PART 5, VENTO AUREO IS THE UNDERBAKED MESS I CAN'T STOP THINKING ABOUT FIXING...PART 2

FIX 2: WHAT DO YOU DO WITH A PROBLEM LIKE GIORNO?

thats the homo photo of my dad

answer: i dont know.

the unfortunate and honest to god truth of the matter is that the protagonist of JJBA part 5, giorno giovanna, fucking sucks.

what if that little shithead from the twilight zone episode "it's a good life" was gay and watched "goodfellas". you might think "wow that sounds great" but, well, somehow it's not.

it is months later and i have been struggling with writing this for a bazillion reasons: i got sick, real life events occurred, i had to work on comic, i died, etc. but the most strenuous reason of all in the end was facing the impenetrable, tangled, and deeply complicated gordian knot that is the little ladybug loving bitch named giorno and not knowing where the fuck to even begin.

i had to think long and hard about how to approach the problem of "giorno giovanna". he is like a diamond of sucking ass: multi-faceted and beautiful in his perfection but is, ultimately, just a stupid fucking rock from the dirt. he completely lacks the innate charisma and personality inherent in previous jojo protagonists AND antagonists; despite having both the joestar AND brando gene pools to pull from, he manages to snag a net total of 0 personality traits. this problem is multiplied 100 fold once he starts actually doing things to move the plot along and the universe repeatedly bends itself like a pretzel in order to gift him undeserved and unrewarding (to us, the audience) win after win after win.

his theme goes hard as hell tho

if you were to ask me what is wrong with giorno, i would have no problem making a long and detailed list of why i want to slap the little cinnamon rolls of his head. i have no idea how to organize that list into a more coherent form of criticism that points at the overarching structural weakness of part 5. part 5 really, really wants you to like and root for giorno. it hinges on it. his victories are explicitly supposed to be emotionally and morally gratifying. they are instead trite and annoying.

for years, YEARS, my only experience with the entirety of part 5 outside of infamous panels and the most basic information about the story, was this incredible, evergreen and laser targeted tweet:

i thought this was a funny shit post. all i knew giorno had some kind of "life creation" power. what i didnt know was:

giorno says this exact line and then turns cars into frogs so that they (the bad guys) cant catch them (they do catch them)

giorno's power IS fucking stupid

i fucking hate him

he should stop using it

abbacchio was right. he was right about everything

how DO you talk about giorno? giorno's blandness permeates any situation he has the misfortune of attending and the parts of the narrative where he's missing for one reason or another are significantly improved by his absence. in comparison with the deuteragonists (bruno bucciarati) and tritagonists (the members of bruno's squad in the mafia family passione), he has all the flavor of a communion wafer. his character arc is non-existent. emotionally, he might as well have just gone to the store and back by the end of the story.

and, look, araki likes to play fast and loose with how powerful a stand is or what its abilities are. im not here to measure power levels or fucking whatever stupid shit people get up to. the more wild and insane he gets with his incredibly "unique" ""understanding"" of science and geometry, i'm 99% on board for. but giorno's stand, gold experience, is whatever the narrative needs it to be at any given time with no consistency. it's OP as hell long before he gets the 11th hour power boost; his stand has the extra trans-dimensional ability to remove any tension from a fight scene. through this, gold requiem can destroy the psyche of the audience, truly making it the most powerful stand of all time.

people used to love to bitch about not understanding how the villain's stand works in this part, but if anyone tells you they understand what the fuck THIS means they're lying to you.

anyway, there is only one solution i can think of when it comes to how to approach this: assess the major story beats in order. i think jumping around in the progression of events to highlight individual flaws in the character will not adequately impart the suffering one feels as an audience member while the narrative yo-yos between being rollicking good fun and being at the mercy of the little 15 year old twink with god mode on.

and so, having made it past koichi's tiny ass role (and his tiny ass) in the story and addressing how we can proceed, we can cover bruno (a genuinely wonderful character), polpo, and the wasted character building opportunity of the piss drinking scene, which vexes and infuriates me to this day. [thinking about the piss scene and getting mad again] ooooh!!!!

[whenmondaycomes]

Harleigh's POV

Harleigh was at Jax's (and her) shared house collecting laundry from the master bedroom. She had music playing from her phone, so she was surprised when she heard the front door being broken down. "Shit", she mumbled before running to Abel, to protect him, but she was grabbed around the waist when her hand touched the doorknob to the nursery. She tried fighting back, but there were too many of them. "Let me go!", she yelled before being knocked unconscious with the butt of a gun.

Jax's POV

Jax was at TM working on a car when his phone rang, and he wiped his hands on a rag before reaching for the phone and answering it. Before he could say anything his mother's voice came over the line. "Jax, I'm at your house and something's wrong", she said. "What do you mean?", was Jax's reply. He heard his mom let out a deep breath before saying "I came over to bring Harleigh some diapers I bought for Abel and when I got here the front door was broken in and Abel was crying. I can't find Harleigh anywhere Jax, I think that someone took her." Jax felt his heart stop when he heard those words, but he knew he had to pull himself together, so all he said to his mom was "Grab Abel and come to the clubhouse. We need to find her now!" After he hung up he ran to break the news to the rest of the club and make a plan to find her.

Harleigh's POV

The first thing Harleigh noticed when she woke up was the pain in her head, the second being that she was in what looked like a warehouse. When her captors noticed that she was awake they walked over to her, and when they got closer Harleigh realized that it was Zobelle and his men that took her. "Well, look who's awake", Weston said. Harleigh wasn't paying any attention to him though because she was focused on Zobelle staring at her. "What!", she yelled. Before he could answer her, Weston slapped her across the face. "Show some damn respect!", he yelled. Zobelle made a motion to Weston like 'calm down' before he turned his attention back to Harleigh. "Good morning princess, how was your nap?", he taunted. Harleigh just spit in his face, which earned her a broken nose from Zobelle. He waited until she looked back up at him before grabbing her chin and saying "I would be careful if I were you, I wouldn't want to have to kill you." That sent a shiver down Harleigh's spine, she didn't doubt that he would kill her just to get his point across. She really hoped that the guys would hurry up and find her.

Jax's POV

Jax was freaking out. He was pacing back and forth, before he was stopped by Opie grabbing his shoulders. "You need to calm down man. she'll be alright, she's a strong woman." He said, trying to calm Jax down. Jax just shook his head before saying "We don't know that, these people are capable of anything." He took a deep breath before continuing "I can't lose her, Ope." Opie could see the tears in Jax's eyes, that he was trying hard to hide, and pulled him into a hug. "We'll find her brother, I promise."

It was a few hours later when Juice came running in. "I found her!", he yelled before setting his laptop on the bar. "It took me a little bit of effort, but I was able to track her down." He started typing stuff on his computer before he continued "Apparently she has a tracker in her watch, which I didn't know about, but it says that she is located right here." He quickly turned his computer around to show the guys a warehouse near Stockton. "Alright, let's go get our princess", Clay said.

Harleigh's POV

All Harleigh could think about was her family. The pain was so unbearable at this point that Harleigh would've given up by now if it wasn't for Jax and Abel being her reason to stay alive, so she was relieved when she heard gunfire outside of the warehouse. Weston and Zobelle had left a while ago, so Harleigh knew it was only their goons left to watch her. She could've laughed at the idiocy of leaving her with these weaklings, but she was in too much pain. One of Zobelle's men came running in to grab her, most likely as a bargaining chip or as a human shield, but he was shot before he could reach her. Harleigh then heard the voice of her old man, before he kneeled in front of her. "Hey Darlin', I'm gonna get you outta here", Jax said in a panic at the state she was in. As Jax was trying to keep her alert, Tig worked on getting her out of her restraints. Once the restraints were gone, she fell forward into Jax's chest. "Jax", was all she was able to whisper before passing out in his arms.

Harleigh was confused at first when she finally awoke, but as soon as she looked around the room she realized she was in Jax's dorm. When Jax looked up from the book he was reading, and saw that she was awake, he shot up from his chair and rushed over. "Hey baby, how are you feeling?", he asked while stroking her hair. Harleigh took a moment to take in the fact that she was alive and safe, before answering him. "I'm ok", she croaked out. She could tell that Jax had been crying, so she decided to ask what had happened after she had passed out. "Chibs checked your pulse and determined that he could handle your injuries, so I picked you up and put you in the van to come back here. As soon as we got back, he fixed you up and I carried you in here to watch over you", he told her. Harleigh just gave him a weak smile, before pulling his lips to hers, and when the kiss ended she whispered against his lips "I fucking love you, Teller." Jax smiled before giving her another soft kiss and whispering "I love you too, darlin'. I love you more than anything." Then he climbed into bed next to her and cuddled her for the rest of the night, thankful that they had found her in time.

[upwards-descent]

Trespassing

tw: mild nsfw warning

"Damnit, Frankie, quit squirming."

Frankie did not, in fact, quit squirming. He writhed on the floor, groaning and making all sorts of obnoxious nonverbal noises. Aspergillus tugged on his chain, doing his best to wrangle the hulking revenant.

"What the hell is going on with you?" Asper blew a lock of hair out of his face, annoyance written clearly on his features. "Is something wrong? You have to use your words, Franklin, or I can't help you."

"Mmmuh. Mmmmmmmmuhhh."

With a frustrated sigh, Asper stopped moving. He'd just hit his stride, sitting in Frankie's lap as the behemoth laid on the floor. His massive cock carved quite an impressive bulge, straining against the pale skin of Asper's belly. Bracing his feet on the floor, the necromancer rose, wincing as inch after inch of long hard dick slid out of his ass. When it unsheathed fully, it slapped against Frankie's gut with a wet smack. 

"Now what's the issue, you big lug?" Asper huffed, feeling a little winded. His asshole was properly gaped and dripping with lube.

"Muh," Frankie raised an arm and pointed with a sausage-like finger to one of the windows in the study. "Mmmmmmmh."

"Something outside?"

Snatching up his robe, Asper clambered up onto one of his desks to peer out the window. Even from the crumbled castle's lone standing tower, he could make out a few shapes stepping onto the property. Children, probably, given their proportions. Perhaps teenagers were more accurate.

"Good job, Frankie!" Asper grinned, going onto his tiptoes to get a better look. "I'm amazed you sensed them from so far away."

"Mmmmhhyou." 

"You're welcome."

Asper shoved his arm out of the window, fingers outstretched towards the trespassers. He thought for a moment about the good old days when he'd first moved in. No one bothered him, living in fear of the dark wizard who commanded death itself. Now the locals treated his home like a tourist trap, something to invade and gawk at. 

The familiar tug of magic pulled at Asper's gut. He clenched his fist and yanked it upwards. At least a dozen skeletons began erupting from the earth, shaking off the cold wet dirt and clambering upright. 

"Arise, arise!" Aspergillus shouted, commanding them to approach. "Begone from this place, trespassers, or face the awesome might of my undead army--"

"Oh, fuck yeah, take my picture, bro!"

"Wait, wait, hold on, the lighting's bad, move this way."

Asper watched, jaw slack, as the teens got into position for a cheesey photo-op. One of them flashed a peace sign, pantomiming putting his arm around one of the skeletons when it ambled up to him. The necromancer could see the flash of her phone and they budged back up together to assess the photo.

"Aw, that looks great! We should bring props next time."

"Leave!" Asper boomed, using magic to make his voice louder and deeper. "Leave this place before I take off your heads and pickle your brains!"

"Okay! Thanks for the pics, mister!"

Clinging to the window in shock, Asper continued to stare as the teens ambled off, still geeking about their picture. Sensing the change in mood, each skeleton turned to look up at Asper.

"Sorry, boss!" One of them chittered, reaching up to shyly rub at their bare skull. "We really tried!"

"Fucking amateurs," Asper mumbled. "It's fine! Go... Back to sleep!"

"Got it, boss!"

The necromancer clambered down off of his desk, crossing his arms haughtily over his chest. Of course Frankie was right where he'd left him, his cock still flopped out of his pants and his shirt pulled up to his chest. Asper waved his hand and the revenant obeyed, meaty fingers slowly tugging his clothes back in place.

"Perhaps it's time I make a trip into town," Asper leaned against his manservant as he thought aloud. Frankie's languid petting through his hair was always calming. "These fools have grown too comfortable. I need to show them what true fear is. We'll set out at dusk! Franklin, you'll be pack mule. Give me a good roar!"

Frankie looked down at the necromancer, blinking one eye at a time. He opened his mouth wide, far wider than any living human could.

"... Ah."

"Alright," Asper sighed, patting the revenant's hip encouragingly. "We'll work on it."

[tobiasdrake]

Orange League, Episode 1 - Pallet Town! Setting Off on a New Journey!

Oh hey, new OP. There are no longer Pokemon in that girl's skirt. She can finally stop being harassed.

Returning to Pallet Town, Professor Oak throws a party for Ash to celebrate how far he went at the Indigo Plateau. Yes, just Ash. Screw Gary, I guess. Parties are for winners. Even though Ash only made it one round farther than him. Oak is as fickle as he is callous!

Naturally, Team Rocket crashes by impersonating foodservice employees and putting chili sauce in everyone's food. This feels less like a master plan to abduct Pikachu and more like they're just trolling out of spite.

Once the party's over, Oak has an errand for Ash to run. You see, Pokemon Gold and Silver were supposed to be out about a year ago; That's why Togepi dropped so early. But due to the unanticipated delay, it's going to be another ten months until Johto officially exists in canon. Oak needs Ash to go spend some time at the Filler Archipelago until then.

Specifically, Ash needs to retrieve a special Poke Ball from Dr. Uchikido/Professor Ivy on Daidai/Valencia Island.

Terrible with directions as always, Ash leaves north along Route 1 to go to an archipelago. This gives him the opportunity to have a surprise reunion with his very first archnemesis: The Spearow he naively threw a rock at back in the first episode, now evolved into Fearow.

Fearow's flock has been invading Route 1 and driving out the native Pidgeys. Ash decides to take some time to putting this right, using his Pidgeotto.

That's easier said than done. Fearow is built to blitz, coming in fast and hard with vicious Physical strikes, particularly their signature Drill Peck. Even a fully evolved Pidgeot can't compete with Fearow's Attack and Speed, but they compensate by being built much tankier. Pidgeotto, however, is outclassed by Fearow in every category.

Pidgeotto tries to save the Pidgey flock, but Fearow slaps them out of the sky before they even know what hit them. That's about right. It's practically a KO right then and there, with only Pidgeotto's determination keeping them alive at 1 HP.

That determination brings about another of the anime's signature mid-fight evolutions, which also restores all of Pidgeot's HP for some reason. Now it's a real fight.

(Fun fact, Pidgeotto's Japanese name is Pigeon. Pidgeot is the same in Japanese, but it's pronounced "Pidgeotto". So that's fun.)

Round 2 against Fearow goes a bit better. Pidgeot lands a Gust, followed by a Quick Attack. But then Ash gets impatient with the rate their HP is dropping and sends in Pikachu to speed things along with a Thunderbolt.

Ash tries to capture Fearow after that, but a catch rate of 90 isn't a walk in the park. Even damaged as they are, Fearow slaps the Ball away, and Ash gives up trying afterwards.

So rather than catch Fearow, Ash walks away with -1 Pokemon. He releases Pidgeot here to protect the Pidgeys of Route 1 from any further attempts by Fearow to take over their habitat.

D'aww. He's going to regret that when he no longer has a way of easily and efficiently popping Team Rocket's balloon.