#these guys aren't the best parents

[maxdurden]

the raw power of gorgug and kristen synchronized second hand embarrassment is unspeakable

[bugsinshoes]

"won't you kiss me once, baby?"

yesterday was the one year anniversary of my first ever laurelyn drawing! it's crazy how much these two have changed, so, I had to redraw them. i love these two so bad guys (original under the cut)

[dangerous-advantage]

(Image description below 'read more' line.)

[Image ID: A four-by-four alignment chart on a white background with text descriptions to the left and to the top of the squares.

The top left description reads, "seems like they'd be good at parenting." The top right description reads, "seems like they'd be bad at parenting."

Then, from the top down, to the left of the squares, the other set of descriptions reads: "excellent child rearing instincts," and "never trust them with a child in your life."

Each of the four squares contains an image of a different character. At the top left is an image of Lan Wangji of the Mo Dao Zu Shi donghua. He sits between the descriptors "seems like they'd be good at parenting," and "excellent child rearing instincts."

In the top right square sits an image of Wei Wuxian, also of the Mo Dao Zu Shi donghua. He sits between the junction of "seems like they'd be bad at parenting" and "excellent child rearing instincts."

In the bottom left square is an image of Xie Lian from the Tian Guan Ci Fu manhua. He occupies the square with the captions, "seems like they'd be good at parenting" and "never trust them with a child in your life."

Finally, in the bottom left square, sits an image of Hua Cheng from the Tian Guan Ci Fu manhua. He occupies the junction between "seems like they'd be bad at parenting" and "never trust them with a child in your life". /End ID]

[bonestrouslingbones]

ggghhghgh as much as i love having so many friends now i would Love to not be the only one who ever thinks about group plans for more than 2 minutes

[keii]

Bellamy in the goblin camp is my favorite version of him so far, I love choosing options that supports him being a fucking menace LOL

[t4tbedehopmar]

my social life is non existent by now

[enterstellars]

god. my dreams were…something else last night.

[wonderlandsakura]

Ok but Jason is so for the whole Wayne Foster Project.

Like this is everything he hoped he could give back to society after getting adopted by B?

It's probably the whole reason he comes back to the family and is the thing that heals his and Bruce's relationship.

He might also help interview potential foster families, introduce potential ones that are crime alley and poor but love kids despite not being able to have any, or pointing out which homes need to have custody removed cause he's seen their kids suffering on the streets.

He probably sends his street kids there, ensuring that siblings and families both found and biological can stay together.

All the kids with shit parents but can't/shouldn't stay on the street, he sends there.

Not every child, cause children, especially these children, deserve the freedom of choice, and sometimes they want to stay on the street where they can protect and provide for family, cause it's still family, even if they're broken and have hurt them, he knows that (he's lived that)

It's better that he doesn't betray their trust and that they come to him when they're in trouble, than that he betrays it and they break out of the foster homes and lose then to the streets.

He understands that, even if the rest of his family can't.

He understands provided and protecting family even though they don't deserve it, even though they've hurt him.

He did it for his mom, he did it for both of them.

It's the reason why he died.

It's the reason why he still loves his siblings, still loves Bruce, even though they've hurt each other.

That is to say, he understands Danny.

He can guess what he's doing.

He might not know the full extent of it, but he can guess that he's probably trying to protect his parents.

He's not going to support that, as they've clearly hurt him in ways no parent should, no person should, and he hates that, he knows what it feels like, even if what happened to him was not as invasive and long lasting as what might have happened to Danny, and it makes him want to rip their throats out and crush every bone in their body, cause they don't deserve Danny's love...

But he understands what it's like, and he respects it.

He has to, or he could push Danny away before he can teach him that they are no longer family, that even if they were, it is not enough to forgive them, it is not enough to protect them.

They don't deserve that.

Danny doesn't deserve to have to hurt himself because of them.

He can love them still, (heavens know he still loves them) but that doesn't mean he should protect them.

He can forgive them, (heavens know he's forgiven them) but that doesn't mean he should forget what they did and let them hurt him again.

He can consider them family, but do they truly consider him the same? Do they care for him as they should? They say he's their son, but do they act like it?

What defines protection?

What defines family?

What makes family worthy protection?

If family has hurt family, what can you protect?

What will you protect?

It will take time, Jason knows.

But he can wait forever for his little brother to give him the go ahead to rip his parents to shreds.

He's Family after all.

Heavens know he would die for Family.

Dp x Dc AU: Bruce has a 'if you can't beat them, join them' mentality about the tabloids claiming he adopts too many kids- Developing foster homes that are paid for through the Wayne inheritance, personally vetted by the Bats, they're the leaders in the space for child health outcomes and family placement. Insert Danny.

---

Bruce has too much wealth, too many rumors and not enough reach into the abhorrent foster homes around Gotham to improve them. Tim ends up being the one to suggest it- He's the one who buys up their real estate for their safe houses after all- and Bruce is more than ready to pull the metaphorical trigger to get new clean welcoming spaces, Bat-background checked fosters and a new era of adoption in Gotham underway.

He's lobbied the state and the federal government for reforms of course, but this is a project he can micromanage. He spends time with every kid that comes through, talks with all the families that want to adopt and makes sure that these miniature homes are provided only the very best. Alfred personally hires all the staff, and with Barbara more than happy to help relocate the unhoused children she spots while they patrol, the project is a glowing success.

Occasionally, spots in their houses fill up, and those are the weeks were Cass takes on the Cowl of Batman- Bruce Wayne will personally invite a child in need to his home. He always has one of his kids present (they rotate on a pre-determined schedule) and he does his best to try and get them to understand that they deserve the world, have all the potential that anyone else has and can achieve a bright future. That he will personally aid them in their ambitions.

PR goes crazy for it of course, but Bruce and all of his children know its genuine. Almost too genuine, because a betting pool 'WILL THEY BE ADOPTED' regularly circulates between the siblings and the entire JL when someone spends time at the manor. And not just the black-haired, Blue-eyed kids get picked as favored outcomes- but obviously the running joke gets passed around.

It's a Thursday night when Bruce gets the call that the houses have once again filled up, and that there is a child in need of a home. The social worker (he knows her as Marsha and he has flowers planned to be sent on her birthday next week, like he does for all of his employees) (Say micromanaged one more time) explains that the kid is a bit cagey but has opened up with some humor. She explains that he has a few strange... mannerisms. She's not sure what to make of him, a non-gothamite for sure but something is, well, distinctly 'not from around here' about his energy.

Danny arrives at the house, meets Duke and Alfred, and by the time Bruce meets him at the dinner table it seems as though Marsha had it all wrong. This kid was laughing, he was teasing, he was totally playing along like he'd gone through nothing. Bruce is glad he's in high spirits but its just so... so different from all the other children he's taken in.

Bruce re-focuses on the conversation when Duke mentions something flashing, and its the first time that Danny goes quiet. Entirely still.

"...you noticed that?" Danny quietly asks, a bit of disbelief in his tone.

"You don't have a flashlight on or something do you? It was super bright whatever it is that you had in your hand a second ago?" Duke tries to sound chill but he's looking very much not chill. Bruce saw nothing, and that puts him further on edge.

"Look... I uh, I've been though... I've been through a lot lately. And the last lab I was in kind of, messed with me. I'm normally much better at dealing with it all, I promise." Danny sounds nervous, and the room seems to chill.

"Ah shoot, sorry." Danny notices something and frantically apologizes.

"Sorry for what Danny? You've done nothing wrong but I am worried about you- You said you were in a lab?" Bruce is desperately trying to calm him down while not slipping into Batman interrogation mode.

"Uh, yeah, like a lot of labs. It should get warmer in a second, its just cause I startled, I promise."

"You're a meta." Duke speaks softly and with hope in his voice- Danny is looking between them with wide eyes filled with fear.

"I mean I don't technically have the gene-"

"Danny, have you told any of your case workers where you were? Do any authorities know what you've been through?" Bruce needs to know, desperately, that who ever gave this young boy super powers is brought to justice. Danny goes quiet.

"I'm really sorry." He says softly, but he doesn't leave them.

Duke and Bruce try to ask a few more questions but the silence that meets them declares the conversation over, even with Duke admitting he himself is a meta. Danny didn't even look up from his plate. They watch a movie after dinner, and Danny seems to get back to the smile-y happy guy he had been before dinner.

Each of the bat-fam have their own interactions with Danny- And even if they're getting along amazingly, Danny won't open up. He doesn't open up to his provided therapist. Doesn't talk to Alfred. No one knows what's up.

So when Marsha calls Bruce back explaining they now have a spot for Danny and he can move out of the Manor... Bruce replies that he'd like to get started on Adoption paperwork, so long as Danny is fine with it.

---

Turns out, Danny is fine with it. he's both the newest Wayne and their newest case. (And godamnit, his new family is going to avenge him. If only he'd let them try.)

Danny figures out that Duke= Signal early on because of that dinner, and if he's going to keep his parents out of jail, he needs to be as close to the investigation as possible. He knows that he shouldn't protect the Fentons, but he feels the upset in his core at the thought of letting them befall any harm. He has to protect them. Has to protect Jazz and her hiding spot as a mole within their lab. Has to.

Even if it meant lying to his new family who loves him, and who he loves in equal return. Even if it means lying to The Bats.

---

Tabloids go crazy about the black-haired blue-eyed thing of course, but no poll was ever taken by the batfam or the JL who know the whole story.

[lambilegs]

best friend's older sister!sevika headcanons

contains: modern!au, mentions of smoking weed and cigarettes, nsfw content (so minors dni), not proofread, mentions of porn, clitplay and fingering, cunnilingus, degradation (word "slut" is used), sevika being a jackass and teasing the reader about their clothes + possible inexperience, reader's body is referred to with the following terms: "pussy," "clit," "cunt" and "tits," kinda imagined a younger version of sevika here, maybe late twenties

pt. 2

best friend's older sister!sevika who is always cooped up in her bedroom, whirring noises entering the halls from the mechanics she's working with. if you walk past her room, your body immediately gets blanketed with goosebumps from the cold air streaming in from her window, which is always cracked open so that she can blow the smoke from her weed and cigarettes out of there.

sometimes you run into her in the hall outside of her bedroom, cigarette hanging out of her lips, loud music blasting from the speakers she has in there. if you guys are both heading to the bathroom, she'll quietly nod, leaning back into the doorframe to let you go first.

there have been a few occasions where through the open door, you can see a girl laid out on her bed or sneaking out of her window. all you can do is ignore it and try to resist having wandering thoughts about exactly how good she must be in bed to have different girls over all the time.

best friend's older sister!sevika who doesn't really talk to any of you guys, just ruffling your best friend's hair or teasing her before heading back to her room, leaving the rest of you without a word from her. whenever she walks into the kitchen while your friend group is eating or making late night instant ramen, you feel your face heat up at the sight of her in a tight tank top, leaving nothing to the imagination, from her sculpted arms and the grooves of her stomach's abs. she's so tall, so effortlessly handsome, and you can't help but sneak in glances at her back when she bends to the fridge to get some gatorade.

best friend's older sister!sevika who talks to you for the first time when your best friend leaves you alone in the living room to go shower, and sevika enters through the front door, short, black hair tied back. just the sight of her neck is enough to get you tensing up, suddenly acutely aware of the patterned pajamas you have on and how childish they must look to her.

when she spots you, she raises her hand, mumbling an apology, but you insist that the two of you of two can sit together, you were only about to put something on. the truth is, you really don't want to miss the opportunity to get to know her more.

she hesitates, but gives in, sitting on the opposite end of the couch with you, twisting off the cap of her beer bottle and taking a swing from it, grey eyes focused on the television as you scroll through the options.

when you linger on gilmore girls, she scoffs. and not subtly. oh, no, she scoffs loudly, and you turn to find her lips twisted up into a smirk.

embarrassment and defensiveness make for an ugly combination, immediately arousing an irritated, "yes?" from you.

"are we seriously going to watch this crap?"

your mouth drops open. it's the first time she's properly spoken to you one-and-one, except for the brief interactions during your run-ins in the hall, and this is what she says? for a second, you're just stunned at her blunt rudeness, and you need a second to formulate a response before saying, "crap?"

"yes, crap." she tosses her hand at the television. "just a bunch of privileged little shits."

"the show literally deals with money issues!"

she snickers, and you try to ignore the bulge of her arms as they fold over her chest. "which sure aren't that stressful when you have two blue-blooded parents always there to save your ass."

"yes, but on conditions, though!"

she squints at you, lips turned down into a disbelieving frown. "friday night dinner? you're either just as spoiled as them or really naive, because trust me, weekly dinners don't mean shit."

your eyes sharpen into a hard glare, bitterness spilling through at her assumption. "you don't know anything about me!" with an indignant toss of your head, you mutter, "not that you've ever even tried to."

she suddenly bellows with a loud laugh, the edges of it rough and irritatingly pleasing to your ear. "awe, is someone sad over that?"

you roll your eyes. yes, but you weren't about to tell her that, of all people. "no, don't flatter yourself."

"you're not that good of a liar, you know that, right?"

with a twitching eye, you turn on the show, drowning out the noise of her chuckle with an immediate escalation of the volume.

best friend's older sister!sevika who doesn't stop teasing you after that night. now, when you're in the kitchen and she saunters in, she flashes you a smile that's nothing short of complete and utter self-satisfaction. when your best friend leaves you alone in her room, sevika knocks and steps inside, leaning on the wall and asking you how you are, how's work or school, sometimes teasingly tossing in, "you haven't been here in a while -- I didn't make you nervous, did I?"

you always fight back. partially because your attraction to her makes you feel so exposed and flustered that you want to try to hide it through challenging her back rather than being reduced to a blushing, spluttering mess. you know arguing back might be counterproductive, though, since it seems to only amuse even more. but, that leads you to the second reason you keep doing it. because, as on-the-spot and vulnerable it makes you feel, her prodding comments and mischievous attention makes you giddy. sevika, the allusive older sister of your best friend, is actually bantering with you, maybe even flirting with you. and seeing how easily she bounces off your words, how sharp her wit is, makes you only more excited. unnerving as it is, this little thing you guys have going spikes your excitement everytime you come over.

best friend's older sister!sevika who gets bolder and bolder. when she comes into the bathroom as you're brushing your teeth, looking for a hair tie to get her hair out of her face, you catch her in the mirror's reflection glancing at you, eyes quickly flicking up and down. the double take nearly makes you tighten your thighs together, mind whirling with thoughts, speculating over what she might be thinking.

you get your answer when she suddenly snaps the band of your tank top, which causes you to leap on the spot. when your eyebrows furrow into what you hope is a stare strict enough to hide just how turned on you are, she laughs, the noise low and velvety. "cute," she muses, eyes raking over you shamelessly before she reaches to the hairtie on your wrist, snapping it off and tying her hair back with it.

best friend's older sister!sevika who starts working out very intentionally in front of you. doing pull-ups in the kitchen when your friend group is there, lips curling up as her eyes seek you out. usually, by the time she looks in your direction, you've already been staring at her unabashedly for minutes as her arms flex and roll under her ministrations.

you want to crawl into a hole when your best friend smacks your arm, her face squeezed into a sour cringe. "dude, gross."

of course, sevika totally hears the reprimand, and she wiggles a scolding finger in your direction from her corner in the room.

best friend's older sister!sevika who can't stop laughing at the way you gasp and cover your mouth when you catch sight of the lesbian porn opened up on her laptop, which rests amongst her bunched up purple blanket. it only leaves you wondering about what she was doing moments before, if that happy trail you sometimes spot in her loose, muscle-shaped crop tops leads to a curl of hair between her thighs.

"oh, c'mon, have you never seen porn before?"

despite the fact that you can barely keep a straight face in light of this revelation, you manage to bristle. "of course I have."

"oh, yeah?" she leans on her doorframe, tilting her head down to watch you carefully. "got any recs?"

"if I did, I wouldn't share them with you."

"why not?"

"you would just--" you manage to squeeze out before trailing off into silence. the truth is, the idea of you and her watching the same porn, fucking yourselves to the same video, has your clit aching with desire. but, you don't wanna give in that easily, and just do as she requests. something tells you she's too used to getting her way. "you would just corrupt it!"

she raises an eyebrow. "corrupt the porn? by watching it?"

god, you're an idiot. "yes."

"that's quite a feat to manage."

"... yes."

"this wouldn't at all be because you're lying, right? and you really haven't watched porn?"

you grit your teeth, narrowing your eyes at her. god, she's so fucking irritating, talking to you like you're completely sexually oblivious.

at your silence, she ducks her head lower, and you suck in a sharp breath at the feeling of one of her dark locks tickling your cheek. "maybe you're more inexperienced than you let on. maybe you're looking to get corrupted."

fuck, she has no idea. at this point, the rest of your thoughts are practically zapped into silence from the mental image of sevika laying you on her bed, your back to her chest, with her big hands shoved down your panties and massaging your pussy, using your slick to circle your clit into a swollen little bud. her soft lips planting wet, sloppy kisses on your neck and cheek as she coaxes you to watch the filthy video, laughing darkly when you gush at the two women in it eating each other out. biting your ear, whispering how she wants to do this thing or that thing to you, how she'd fuck you better than anyone in these videos could. her thick fingers plunging into your hole, other hand covering your mouth as she makes you come over and over again in her cramped up bedroom.

jesus, this is going too far. you force your body to stiffen, lest her attentive gaze catches any telltale signs of your arousal. "well, maybe you're delusional."

she's unfazed, eyes darting to your lips before meeting your gaze again. "I'm sure I am."

best friend's older sister!sevika who tells your best friend she'll pick you up when she finds out you need a ride home from your part-time job. she insists this is because she doesn't trust your best friend with her car, so she should be the only one to drive it.

when you climb into the passenger seat, you can't help but feel self-conscious, sweaty and exhausted after the long shift. matters are only worsened by being in such a cramped space with her, the very act of being picked up way too date-like for comfort. you can smell her coconut shampoo from here, mixed in with the cologne she wears. her hands on the wheel captivate you, fingers long and thick, veins begging for your tongue to trace them. her hair, which is still bound by your hairtie, is damp and soft.

she takes you out for food, insisting you "get something in you after a long day" (you're certain she's aware of the innuendo, shit-eating grin present when she speaks). when she takes her car into a drive through, she hands you her phone, muttering that you can turn on whatever music you want.

she proceeds to make fun of every song you play.

ignoring your protests, and using her strong arms to shove you aside when you try to lurch over her, she pays. when you thank her profusely, her nose twitches and she nods quietly. you can't help but smile at her modesty.

instead of driving you guys back to hers and your best friend's home, she parks outside the store. you guys continue to listen to music, sharing the meal and talking. her usual snark is present, yes, but she actually listens to you, earnestly so, as you ramble about your shift. she asks you questions, and listens patiently. her answers, on the other hand, are short and to-the-point, but after some nudges to her shoulder and whining, she relents with a sigh and shares some more details.

as the sky darkens, the conversation becomes a bit more personal, and you see a side to her you've never bore witness to before. eyes soft, gaze downcast, voice low, she shows a side to you that's vulnerable. a side that has the layers of responsibility shed.

best friend's older sister!sevika who you can't help but smirk at when her jaw drops upon seeing you in the lacey, skimpy pajamas you recently bought. it costed enough, that's for sure, but you feel immensely successful. after all, you only bought them after seeing them in the porn video she had been watching weeks ago.

"what-- what is that?" her voice is low, hushed.

you touch the back of your neck, suddenly plagued with acute self-awareness over how you look. "just-- it's just pajamas."

that breaks her out of her trance, face breaking into a bout of laughter. "pajamas? you're kidding me, right? you look like you're about to seduce me."

you swallow hard. well, not exactly. all you had wanted was a reaction out of her. actual sex felt like too far-fetched a daydream to get excited over. you try to brush her off, self-doubt gripping you too tightly to allow yourself to be direct. "please, you wish."

"oh? someone's gotten bold." her eyes wander over your body languidly, as though you already belong to her and it's just a matter of time before you admit it. she leans back in the seat at her desk, mouth curving into a playful grin. "besides, who knows if you even have it in you?"

"have it in me to what?"

she snorts. "seduce me, bonehead."

"well, yeah, wouldn't wanna risk disappointing you after all the girls that have been in here."

you wince as soon as the words leave your mouth. god, how pathetic are you? you already sound like a jealous girlfriend, and you haven't even confessed to her.

luckily, sevika chooses not to tease. instead, her mouth presses into a firm line and she says, "you don't need to worry about that."

you gulp at the earnest words. what the hell is that supposed to mean? does she know just how serious your words are? because it sure does sound like that. the thrill of her maybe knowing, maybe even returning, your feelings has your stomach flipping. "why?"

she fiddles with some diagrams on her desk, flicking a thumb on the corner, before her shoulders heave with a sigh. "for the same reason I haven't had any girl over for months."

you nearly flinch at the words, the sheer vulnerability in them yanking you into an intense fixation on her words. is she implying she hasn't had any girl over for months because of you? because, well, what reason could explain both that and why you needn't be afraid of dissatisfying her?

you can only think of one.

best friend's older sister!sevika who pulls away from her desk, spreading her thick thighs over the seat, and nods you over. "come here."

when your trembling body reaches her, she hesitates before spreading her hand along your thighs. you immediately clutch onto her shoulders, shivering at the feeling of her rough, warm palm scraping along your skin.

the gap between her teeth flashes as she laughs. "liked that?"

your nails dig into her shoulders. you don't wanna give up the game just yet. "no."

"no?" she mumbles, leaning in and grazing her teeth right where the lace trimming of your silk shorts meets your skin. "that's too bad. because if you had confirmed my suspicions, I would've rewarded you." her head leans back, eyes shining under the lamp of her bedroom. "you're lucky I'm nice and will give you one last chance."

fuck. you can't resist, not when you're this tantalizingly close to getting what you want. "fine. I--I liked it, okay?"

she presses a hot, open-mouthed kiss to your inner thigh. "finally."

twenty minutes later, she's on her back in her bed, arms hooked around your thighs while you practically hump her face. your fingers ache with how hard they're grasping onto her headboard, forehead pressed to it as she helps you move your hips on her face. your pussy is making all kinds of squelching noises as she tongues at it, the slippery muscle making a mess of spit and juices as she licks you up so messily, no direction, no rhythm, just raw instinct. her hands have your top shoved up, large hands groping your tits and tweaking your nipples. and god, she just slurps you up, drinking down the thick, sticky arousal coating your folds, wrapping her lips around them to run the tip of her tongue along their shape.

"yeah, fuck my face," she grunts into your pussy. "such a little slut, wandering into my bedroom dressed like that."

a choked out moan leaves you, and she digs her nails hard into your ass as a warning. it makes you jerk harder on her face, her nose bumping against your clit just right and making you cover your mouth in panic. of course sevika takes notice of this reaction, and just a moment later, she's rubbing the point of her nose into your stiff clit, shaking her head side to side so that you get flicked with it.

you think nothing can get better than this -- a notion immediately disproved when sevika's lips round your clit and start sucking it in, her tongue darting out to stroke roughly at it.

and that's how you come, legs shaking as you sag against her headboard and fully sit on her face, unable to stay upright. not that sevika minds, groans of pleasure lost into wetness of your cunt.

best friend's older sister!sevika who actually got her sister's blessing weeks ago and was now just waiting on you.

[kaijutegu]

Aug ABSOLUTELY deserves the praise, @ryukikit. St. Augustine Alligator Farm is one of my favorite animal facilities, hands down. It's a pretty zoo, doable in an afternoon if you kinda like crocodilians, or an all day affair if you REALLY like crocodilians. Here are my favorite things about it and why I think it's worth supporting.

1. They keep animals in interesting social groups.

Crocodilians are heavily involved parents, but most places that breed them don't have the enclosure space to let the babies stay with the parents. St. Augustine does. One of my favorite groups was their crèche of slender-snouted crocodiles. They had the parents and then a yearling cohort and a new hatchling cohort. This aligns with how these guys live in the wild- the babies stick around longer! They have the space for it, and they are very in tune with the social needs of their animals.

Very, very few zoos can keep their baby crocs with the adults and still perform maintenance and animal health checks safely. This doesn't mean these facilities are bad- it just means that they have different management practices. And frankly, a lot of these species aren't frequently bred elsewhere. Your average zoo doesn't need a setup where you can have a multiyear crèche for slender-snouted crocodiles. Some species have better success when the young are pulled early, and some zoos are better set up to raise out any offspring separately or behind the scenes. Every facility's practices are different, and this just happens to work well at St. Augustine and be really enjoyable to see as a zoo patron.

Crocodilians are exceptional parents and very protective. It's a sign of incredible animal management practices and animals that feel very comfortable with staff that St. Augustine can do this with nearly every species they breed.

2. They understand the social needs of their animals.

Some crocodilians are social. Some are solitary. Some can live happily with a member of the opposite sex but get territorial around members of the same sex. St. Augustine pays incredible attention to their social groupings to ensure that they aren't just meeting the animals' physical health needs but their social needs as well. They do continuous scientific research about social structures in crocodilians, taking blood samples to test stress hormones and observing stress behaviors to see how group dynamics change.

For example, St. Augustine is home to one of the world's largest known living saltwater crocodiles, Maximo. And his comparatively tiny mate, Sydney. During the educational presentations with these two, they point out that even their monster of a croc needs his social group- he won't eat if she's not around and he is calmer during medical checks if he can see her. These animal share a deep and special pair bond, and they make sure to talk about how the social aspect of these animals' lives is integral to their care. It's a unique aspect of the way they talk about these animals, because he IS a spectacle and he IS a sensation, but they don't talk about him like he's a mindless killing machine- they talk about him like he's a big, complex predator with social needs like any other animal. Aug is the only facility I've been to where the emotional and social needs of crocodilians is part of the education they provide guests- and speaking of education...

3. Their demos and presentations are extremely good.

The presentations at St. Augustine are some of the best I've ever seen, and I've seen literally hundreds of animal talks on everything from aardvarks to zebras. But as you... can probably tell from my blog content, I've spent a lot of time learning about and working with reptiles. I really enjoyed all of their presentations because they are very scientific about things and avoid sensationalism. They really want you to be fascinated by these creatures and love them- but more than anything else, they want you to respect them.

Also, they do a really good job handling their ambassadors. I really enjoyed something as simple as watching an educator tell us about snakes. Throughout the whole presentation she made sure that most of the snake's body was looped in her hand. The snake was always supported and was very calm. She gave the snake plenty of head room so that it didn't feel constricted- it was just good handling all around.

But also, the presentations made it clear how much the park cares about the animals' well-being. When they do the feeding and training presentations, they make it very clear that the animals' participation is entirely voluntary. They do things differently for their 9-foot saltie and their 16-foot saltie, because the 16-footer is so large and heavy he actually struggles walking on land sometimes. They adapt their programs and his care to ensure that he's completely comfortable- and he didn't actually participate in the whole feeding when I was watching! At no point did they try to push him into anything uncomfortable; they offered, he didn't engage, and they moved on. It was a clear expression of his boundaries, and I really appreciated how much his caretakers respected that.

4. Ethical Interactions

I've been to... a lot of tourist locations in Florida that have animals you can hold. Almost always against my will! Many of them are pretty terrible, and you don't actually learn much, if anything. But I really found that to not be the case at St. Augustine. Every single animal presentation and interaction opportunity was accompanied by education about the animal's biology, habits, and- crucially- their conservation status.

When I held a baby alligator at St. Augustine, the proctors- there were two, one to ensure I was holding the gator correctly and the other to educate- were very informative about the role alligators play in their ecosystem and their conservation history. The animals were all properly banded, and one of the two proctors was there to ensure that none of the baby alligators were uncomfortable. As soon as they started getting squirmy or tense, they were removed, unbanded, and taken to an off-exhibit area to relax. And when the babies age out of petting size, they just go in the lagoon to live with others of their species. I saw one upset alligator the entire time I was there, and he was clearly upset that his escape attempt was foiled by a keeper during my nursery tour.

Even though he's restrained in this shot, you can see that his full body and tail are supported, and the grip, while firm, is gentle. He's distressed, but after I took this picture, she put him in his enclosure and he calmed down immediately.

Sometimes when you have petting attractions with baby animals, those animals... don't have a happy ending. (See: cub petting.) But St. Augustine's program is fine- the gators are all aged out of wanting to have mom around, there's no declawing/defanging, and they're handled with care. And it's worth it, because people love what they understand. St. Augustine was integral in raising public awareness about alligators back in the 60s when they were endangered, and now they're thriving- largely in part to programs like St. Augustine getting people to care.

And speaking of getting people to care, let's talk about their research.

5. Shared Research Results

St. Augustine is also home to more species of crocodilian than anywhere else in North America- all of them, usually. (They didn't have a Tomistoma when I visited- that may have changed.)

Because of this species diversity, it's an incredible research resource. Having every species means that you can do a lot of work comparing their behaviors, their growth patterns, and more. They've been a major research site for crocodilian biology since the 1970s. Today, they're one of the key sites for studying crocodilian play and social behaviors. They actually maintain a blog where they post copies of papers that were written using their animals, meaning that you can actually see the results of the research your admission helps fund. You can see that right here: https://www.alligatorfarm.com/conservation-research/research-blog/

All of this adds up to a zoo that provides a unique experience, tons of actual education, and transparency about what its research and conservation steps actually are. St. Augustine's come a long way since its opening in 1893, and they really do want you to leave with a new respect for the animals they care for. Ultimately, if you're a fan of reptiles, you can feel good about visiting the St. Augustine Alligator Farm- their care and keeping are top of the line, they do a ton of innovative conservation research and support for conservation organizations, and you can see this animal there:

(Gharial from the front. Nothing is wrong with her that's just what they look like from the front.)

[darling-flora]

feather 2

max x yn!singer - social media au

fc: sabrina carpenter

part 1 : HERE

notes: please please please let me know what ya think !!! ❣ rt's are appreciated !!! (i used google translate for some dutch words, so let me know if anything's wrong!!)

☆ -------------------------------------------------- ☆

maxverstappen1

Liked by yourinstagram, charles_leclerc and 6,559,944 others

maxverstappen1 3 🏆

view all comments

user1 wait is y/n taller or is max shorter ??

↳yourinstagram 7 inch heels 🫣...

user2 PARENTS !!!!

user3 first picture needs to be framed 🥺

yourinstagram love youuuuu 💙

user4 MY GOAT 🐐

user5 TIME FOR 4 🏆🏆🏆🏆

☆ -------------------------------------------------- ☆

yourinstagram

Liked by maxverstappen1, user1 and 8,959,914 others

yourinstagram quick trip.... 💋💙

view all comments

user1 never looked better !!!

user2 cuties 😪

maxverstappen1 best date ever ❤

liked by yourinstagram

user3 bro why aren't they ever paparazzied together?? like is it PR??? he was papped with his ex....

↳user4 because his ex called the paparazzi..... ↳user5 they both rarely get papped when they are alone so it's the same when they're together, he was ALWAYS papped with his ex so..... put 2 and 2 together 🙃

user6 wearing 7 inch heels only to still be shorter then max🤭

danielricciardo max looks so yummy 🤤

↳yourinstagram he is 😉 ↳danielricciardo ew ↳yourinstagram YOU started it ?? ↳user7 😭😭?

user8 two goats 😋

☆ -------------------------------------------------- ☆

☆ -------------------------------------------------- ☆

☆ -------------------------------------------------- ☆

yourinstagram

Liked by maxverstappen1, user1 and 8,959,914 others

yourinstagram coachellaaaa weekend 1 & 2 what a dream !! these were two of the most electrifying shows I've ever played 💙!!!!, and I can’t believe you guys were already singing along to espresso (more to come soon 😉). I feel so incredibly lucky to of gotten the honor to perform for you all. thank you to everyone who came to watch and everyone watching at home!!!!

view all comments

user1 you ate that mama 🤩

maxverstappen1 wow wow wow my mooie meisje (pretty girl)

maxverstappen1 every time i see you it's like seeing you for the first time

maxverstappen1 y/nchella is going to be the only thing on my mind for awhile....

↳user2 BRO you have practice in CHINA in TWO DAYS ????? IT'S A SPRINT WEEKEND TOO ?!?!?!?!? ↳maxverstappen1 y/n on the mind while driving helps me win ↳user2 ..... ↳user2 i respect it 🤝

maxverstappen1 love you my mooie meisje (pretty girl)

↳yourinstagram love youuuu 😚 ↳yourinstagram i'll be waiting for you in miami 😉 ↳user3 ohhh they freaky 🤭

user4 i've NEVER seen max comment like this before holyyyyy 😭💀

user5 WAIT i thought espresso was a "cute little song" but are we getting a new album soon??

↳user6 she got out of a sh1tty relationship then got into a healthy relationship so i think she has a few things to write about.....😭

user7 espresso the hit that you are!!!!!!!!!

user8 the woman that you are wow wow wow 🤯

user9 the vocals !! the fits !! and the FACE !! TENS across the board 😩

☆ -------------------------------------------------- ☆

☆ -------------------------------------------------- ☆

voguemagazine

Liked by user1, user2 and 1,959,944 others

voguemagazine While we're patiently waiting for the release of Y/n's album Short n' Sweet, lets go behind the scenes of the 2nd single "Please Please Please"s music video which featured L/n's boyfriend and Three Time Formula One Champion of World Max Verstappen.

"I ended the last video getting arrested, so naturally I thought it would be satisfying to start the 'Please Please Please' video in jail", said the singer. "I liked the idea of falling in love with a convict and being shocked and embarrassed every time he commits crimes. I was sooo lucky to get Max Verstappen in the video 'cause he's a busy guy but I was a little unsure who I wanted to play the guy who I was falling in love with, then I realized "why not have the guy your in love with be the love interest?" and he was instantly down." said the singer after the music video was released.

The video’s director said "The amount of energy and effort he put in while also being conscious of being out of the way or it not being about him, it was great. It’s hard to cast people in general, but to get them that dedicated is unique." he added "During the first few takes before Max got used to having to act, anytime he'd look at Y/n he'd smile and almost like melt so we had to give him a few pointers but after that he killed it" video’s director said about Verstappen.

The director added "The two were professional on camera but after the camera cut they'd laugh and behave as any other couple, it’s super weird and very meta. They’re essentially playing themselves in this really elevated and theatrical way that is not themselves at all. Now there was this responsibility because they’re a couple and they’re being filmed together for the first time in this kind of really big way, so that responsibility of doing them both justice and making them both look amazing and making sure that people understand that this is fiction while keeping it light and lovely became the priority."

Read more -> HERE

view all comments

user1 this bts just told me that they are crazy in love 😭❤

user2 my favorite part was when dua and callum broke up a day after the music video came out

↳user3 then got back together.... just messy 😭 ↳user2 they are prob gonna break up again after the albums out 🤫

user4 max being down to do this is so iconic, also him posting her any chance he gets is my favorite thing!!

user5 it's SOOOO refreshing to see that she's so much more happier in this relationship !! and the fact that he isn't afraid to talk about her

↳user6 they do it very tastefully too!! like anytime i hear something that they've said about each other it always seems so genuine and love filled 🥺❤ ↳user5 this!!! anytime her ex was asked about her he was always so annoyed but when she was asked she would always praise him but he just never did the same 😕

user7 STOPPPP the picture of her hiding behind him is so cute

☆ -------------------------------------------------- ☆

yourinstagram

Liked by maxverstappen1, user1 and 10,959,944 others

yourinstagram Short n’ Sweet is officially yours now!!!

i feel extremely lucky that each time i write a new record i learn a little bit more about myself, and can create from that place. the making of short n’ sweet was one of the most special, honest, up and down, stupid and fun experiences of my life.

thank you to my brilliant talented friends, writers, producers, mixers, engineers, and creative minds that helped me bring this world and these songs to life. not a serious thought was thunk yet somehow they were.. lol i love you all and am so grateful.

I will keep this short n sweet buuuut more soon. go listen now and i hope you love it as much as i do❤

view all comments

user1 Your mind ❤️!

maxverstappen1 love you so much. So so proud of you 💙

↳yourinstagram love love love love youuuu , ty for being you 💙

user2 So endlessly proud of you

oscarpiastri Ahhhhhh I'm obsessed!!

↳yourinstagram TYYYYYYY Mr. Pastry 😁

user3 So proud of you and love you endlessly. Can't pick a favorite!!!

user4 i was already obsessed two seconds in to the first song like wow… you are truly unreal. my favorite album to exist

danielricciardo most perfect album of all time

↳yourinstagram ty dannyy ☺

user5 short n sweet = no skips 💋

user6 Wowowow I didn’t skip a single song in this album. 💿 loooove it so much angel.

☆ -------------------------------------------------- ☆

maxverstappen1

Liked by yourinstagram, charles_leclerc and 9,559,944 others

maxverstappen1 So so so proud of you, Short n' Sweet has been on repeat from the second i heard it. Seeing how hard you've worked and how much of yourself you've put into this and being by your side every step of the way has been such a pleasure.

love you y/n 💙

view all comments

maxverstappen1 also, would happily fulfill your wishes of making you juno yourinstagram 😁

↳maxverstappen1 or try some freaky positions... ↳user1 MAXX ?? ↳redbullracing Max, please think of the sponsor's.... ↳maxverstappen1 I'm opening the door to new sponsors.... ↳yourinstagram STOPPPP ↳yourinstagram their gonna take away your social media privilege's 😭 ↳user2 are we ignoring the fact that max said he'd happily impregnate Y/N ?????

user3 the first and last picture's are so cute 😪

user4 i need to be in a relationship NOW 😠

user5 he loves her so bad.... im gonna be single forever 😩

user6 IF A MAN WANTED TOO, HE WOULD!!!

user7 these pic's almost make you forget she's getting freaky deaky on the album

☆ -------------------------------------------------- ☆

☆ -------------------------------------------------- ☆

enews

Liked by user1, user2 and 1,869,944 others

enews 🚨 BREAKING 🚨 Callum Turner and Dua Lipa have called it quits after a year of on and off dating. The timeline of when the two started dating is unclear but after a dinner in Los Angeles where the two seemed to be having problems the pair left the restaurant at the same time but in separate cars.

Only a day after the break up Turner was seen with a mystery blonde women while Dua Lipa was seen at an airport heading for London.

The relationship seemed to of become rocky after Y/n L/n released her singles "Espresso" and "Please Please Please". Then with the release of Y/n L/n's album Short n’ Sweet which contains multiple songs that are about their relationship.

Do you think it's a "Coincidence" they've broken up multiple time's around the releases' of Y/n L/n's music ?

view all comments

user1 just MESSSYYYY people omg

user2 i do NOT feel bad for either of them 😭

↳user like he fumbled y/n so badddd ↳user also he found a BLONDE girl RIGHT after breaking up with dua.... like im giggling 🤭

user3 a "year of on and of dating" is killinggggg me 💀😂

user4 "you're running so fast from the hearts that you're breakin'" she really clocked his ass 😭

user5 the blonde is allegedly dua's friend..... 😭💀

↳user1 not him pulling a leclerc 🤭

user6 both nobody's without y/n....

user7 "oh, wow, you just broke up again" 😭

☆ -------------------------------------------------- ☆

☆ -------------------------------------------------- ☆

yourinstagram

Liked by maxverstappen1, user1 and 10,559,944 others

yourinstagram p2 in zandvoort 💙

view all comments

user1 SHES BACK AT THE RACES !!!

user2 i know this DIVA 💜!!

maxverstappen1 the most important attendee at any race 😚

↳yourinstagram cutie😘 ↳user3 please be mindful that most of us are single....

user4 no one else could be as iconic of a wag as you are 🙂‍↕️

user5 y/n photo dump is always gonna eat 😩

whitneypeak 😚🤞

user6 move over max

☆ -------------------------------------------------- ☆

enews

Liked by user1, user2 and 1,869,944 others

enews Callum Turner spoke out about his relationship's being in the spotlight, while Turner and Y/n L/n's relationship was private, Callum and Dua Lipa's relationship was a public whirlwind of an on and off relationship.

"I know that people are always going to be curious especially when it's two famous people being seen together [...] I knew that she was going to write music because it's what she does [...] you know she'll do whatever to help her career [...] at the end of they day i wish her all the best."

Y/n L/n has been in a relationship with Three Time Formula One Champion of World Max Verstappen for over a year, the pair haven spoken very highly of each other and the two have supported each other’s careers. While some of her songs off her recent album Short n’ Sweet like Taste, Coincidence, and Dumb & Poetic are about Turner, the more playful and loving songs like Espresso, Bed Chem, and Juno are about Verstappen.

What do you think about Turners comments?

view all comments

user1 "two famous people" when no one knew who he was until they started dating....

↳user2 i remember a director saying they didn't know who he was, then y/n introduced callum to the director, the director knew who she was because his daughter was a fan... 🤭

user3 he cheated on y/n then had the balls to say "she'll do whatever to help her career" ????? he needs to be serious

user4 "If you don't wanna cry to my music, don't make me hate you prolifically" 🫣

user5 bro can't even say her name he knows he fumbled 😭

user6 he should've kept his mouth shut 🙄

☆ -------------------------------------------------- ☆

☆ -------------------------------------------------- ☆

max1.jpg

Liked by landonorris, charles_leclerc and 1,335,690 others

max1.jpg no need to wish because she is/has it

view all comments

user1 WHACK #HIM AGAIN MAX!!

user2 if i was dating y/n i too would post her every second i got

user3 WAIT did yall get a puppy

↳max1.jpg we have FOUR cats, we do not need a dog... ↳yourinstagram you hate me 😔 ↳max1.jpg maybe after the tour... ↳yourinstagram YIPPEE 🥳

user4 HE'S SO PETTY OMG 😭

user5 thank you max for standing up for our girlfriend 😚 THAT guy needed to be humbled

↳max1.jpg 🫡

user6 he lovessss her so much 😪

user7 im the reason for 1 billion streams btw😁

user8 "at the end of they day i wish her all the best" and max shut his ass up 🤭

user9 the only woman ever 🙂‍↕️ (im a woman)

☆ -------------------------------------------------- ☆

[alienzil]

Okay so I saw this post and you know the types of fics where adult Danny moves to Gotham and winds up emotionally adopting one or more of bat kids or accidentally coparenting with Bruce (with or without a relationship between them)? I had the thought, what if Danny parented the bat kids but he started doing it out of spite?

Like, Danny moves to Gotham and runs into Batman and Robin one night while out for a late night flight and drops down to the rooftop to say hi.

Bruce sees this 5'6" twink that looks like a stiff breeze could knock him over and is so obviously new in town and thinks Gotham is going to eat him alive, he needs to leave before he gets killed.

Batman: Looming menacingly and in his deepest scariest Batman voice, "Leave. Metas aren't allowed in Gotham."

Danny: Offend! Excuse?! Who does this guy think he is?! 😡 Danny was trying to be polite here! "First of all, I'm not a meta. Second of all, rude much?!"

Batman: Does scariest bat glare. "Leave." Swoops off into the night.

Robin (Damian): "My father is correct. You should leave the city for your own safety."

Danny sees this tiny vigilante child with fierce expression and a sword and is just like awww, so cute! 😍 Then he noticed Robin had a small cut on his arm and his inner gremlin activates. If the rude flying furry can't take care of his own kid properly, Danny will do it better!

He bandages up Damian's arm, gives him a cookie and teaches him a neat sword trick before sending him on his way with a hug telling him he needs his sleep.

Danny goes out of his way to run into the bat kids and be the absolute best dad.

He takes Nightwing flying and throws him in the air so Nightwing can do all the fanciest acrobatic tricks.

He tracks down Red Hood and starts a book club with him (Danny may or may not have used his connection with Ghost Writer to get ahold of some rare books).

He eats waffles with Spoiler and trys out weird topping combinations that make them both make faces and laugh.

He makes new gadgets for Red Robin but carefully breaks them just a little bit and takes them to the teen so they can fix them together (it's enrichment!). He always insists RR keep them as a reward.

He follows Signal around during the day invisibly, making faces and doing tricks only Signal can see (he made him laugh in front of the police at a crime scene twice!).

All of the kids get his attention and love and Danny smugly thinks how Batman must be absolutely seething about his kids bonding with Danny and Batman missing out on all of it.

Danny started it out of spite but he does wind up genuinely loving the bat kids.

Batman definetly hates it when the kids are bonding with Danny and is extremely jealous (sulky Batman brooding in his cave about it).

Bruce's repeated attempts to intimidate Danny into leaving Gotham don't work and him telling his kids to stay away from Danny had zero effect (the terrible children don't listen to him at all).

So Bruce starts spending more time with the kids to compete against Danny. The bat kids love it and (little gremlins that they are) use the two of them against each other constantly.

Bruce:"Sorry Tim, I can't make it to your photography exhibit this weekend, there's a meeting with the Justice League."

Tim:"Oh that's fine... I'll just ask Danny to come." 😏

Bruce: Narrows his eyes and grits his teeth, "Actually, the Justice League needs to have contingencies in place to manage without my input. This would be a good time to test their capabilities. I'll skip the meeting and come to your exhibit."

With both of them competing to spend more time with the kids it leads to the two of them spending time with each other to be around the kids more.

After Damian catches a terrible flu bug, Danny spends an entire weekend at the manor babying him. This is when Bruce finds out Danny has known their secret identities for months and tries to get mad about it but Alfred puts his foot down, raises a judgmental eyebrow in Bruce's direction that puts a stop to that nonsense and sets up Danny with his own room in the family wing.

Eventually, Danny gets to the point where he spends most of his nights at the manor and he and Bruce consult each other on all major household decisions.

The whole family is at the manor one morning including Danny. Bruce has a meeting at WE and he and Danny are absently discussing their plans for the day at the breakfast table.

Bruce: " The meeting should take most of the morning and then I have paperwork this afternoon and a scheduled walk through on one of the new engineering projects. I probably won't be done by the time school let's out. Can you pick up Damian today?"

Danny: "That shouldn't be a problem. Would you mind swinging by the bookstore on the way home and getting my preorder? Jay and I just finished rereading the first book and we were wanting to start the second tonight before you all go on patrol. I'd rather not try to make it to the bookstore in school rush hour traffic"

Bruce: "Sure."

Stephanie watches Danny reach out and absently straighten Bruce's tie as they both get up to leave. Bruce grabs Danny's coffee thermos and hands it to him while they walk out the door.

Stephanie: "Sooo, bets on how long until they realize they're basically married?"

[gollancz]

Guys. Christmas is coming. Consumerism is in the driver's seat and GAWD don't I know about the existential ennui of all these faceless corporations trying to schill you their wares. It's cold. Impersonal. Bleak.

So I, a fellow tumblr user, will instead try to schill you MY wares, so that when you purchase these items you can say "Hey, that person from tumblr worked on this", and feel the warmth of HUMAN CONNECTION in a way that is completely normal and not parasocial at all. We really are friends. I promise. Yes, you. Love you, bestie. Remember the boop war? Good times. Fond memories.

THIRTEEN STOREYS and FAMILY BUSINESS by Jonathan Sims

Tumblr's favourite Nightmare Factory @jonnywaistcoat has two novels out and they're phenomenal horror that also punch you in the throat with SOCIAL COMMENTARY and FEELINGS. He's so adept at tapping into the specific part of my brain that feels fear like a small child - not the adult creepy scared that I normally get around horror, but specifically the kind of fear that almost freezes your limbs and vocal chords with a terror you don't quite understand because there is so much in the world that you don't know, but you know that somehow this thing might be quick enough or smart enough or sneaky enough to get you before you can get to the safety of your parents sort of fear.

THIRTEEN STOREYS is a haunted house novel, but set in a refurbished block of flats. Each chapter follows a different resident being haunted in a different way, with a style to match the flavour of ghost. It's all tied together phenomenally and brutally.

FAMILY BUSINESS is a story about ghosts in a different way, following a woman who joins a post-mortem house cleaning service while grieving the death of her best friend. But as she removes the stains from the houses of the dead, she begins to suspect something else is removing even more.

Both of these titles are available from Gollancz worldwide!

THE LAST UNICORN, THE WAY HOME, THE INNKEEPER'S SONG and A FINE AND PRIVATE PLACE by Peter S. Beagle

Obviously Peter's work needs no introduction, and our editions aren't available in the US and Canada, but I've had a wonderful time working with Peter and his team to bring these beautiful books back to the UK. Meeting him at Worldcon this year was such a magical moment, and he was jet-lagged and I had gone through sleep deprived into hyper and was bringing an Extremely Weird Energy to every interaction I had that day, resulting in this photo:

THE LAST UNICORN and THE WAY HOME are a matched pair of wonderful fairy stories. THE WAY HOME has two novellettes in it, and the first - 'Two Hearts' - won the Hugo award. It will also destroy you.

A FINE AND PRIVATE PLACE was Peter's first ever novel, and it's wistful and romantic and so beautiful.

THE INNKEEPER'S SONG is his epic fantasy quest, it's an adventure story that reads almost lyrically. Also there's an orgy in the middle which caught me by surprise when I was reading it for the first time on the train into work.

HIGH VAULTAGE by Chris and Jen Sugden

It's possible that someone on this website doesn't know I was involved with this book but don't worry, I will HUNT THEM DOWN AND TELL THEM. This is the first book I took all the way through the editorial process from end to end and I am SO PROUD of it and Chris and Jen and their wonderful world of @victoriocity. Officially one of the seven funniest books published in the UK this year, shortlisted for the Wodehouse Prize for Comic Fiction. It's a chaotic, bonkers murder mystery set in an alternate Victorian London which is the most gleeful dystopia I have ever encountered.

Featuring:

Grumpy Sunshine besties

The Victorian Equivalent of the Chuck Norris Meme

A robot who undertook a course in People Management

An indefatigable beagle

This is another book that you can get from Gollancz all over the world, and you SHOULD because it's amazing. Go into your local bookshop and ask them to order it into stock. It's a great Christmas present. It's my firstborn book baby (like that's a completely normal thing to say when I didn't even write it). Also if you're a fan of the podcast, why not tell the Guardian how great it is, and make a nuisance of yourself until they review. (I would, but the form asks for your name and then they'd know I didn't suddenly discover Victoriocity this year. Either that or think I was a very careless editor.) If you've not listened to the podcast yet, you absolutely should. It pings all my Douglas Adams receptors in the best way. If you like HITCHHIKER'S GUIDE, if you like CABIN PRESSURE, VICTORIOCITY is the perfect addition.

HAMMAJANG LUCK by Makana Yamamoto

SLIGHTLY cheating because HAMMAJANG LUCK isn't out in North America until January (pre-orders make great Christmas presents guys), but it IS out in the UK and the rest of the world next week! This is my second big editorial project and it's a Big Gay Space Heist ft. disaster lesbians, trans characters, and a tech billionaire getting put in his place. It's joyous and energetic and crammed full of Hawaiian pidgin as a love letter to the diaspora. @makana-yama is a phenomenal writer and this is their love letter to their communities, families both born and found, while also a statement on the victims of gentrification (and how those are disproportionally BIPOC communities). PLUS:

friends to enemies to cautious allies to lovers

trans cyborgs

Suck It Space Elon

You know that One Scene in Charlie's Angels where Cameron Diaz is in the white body suit and breaking into the safe and has to stretch out to hit two buttons at once? Yeah. That's the vibe.

Being able to work with Makana is a delight, and HAMMAJANG tapped into all the feelings I got watching LEVERAGE for the first time, so I went to watch it again while I was editing. Also OCEAN'S 8.

DEEP BLACK by Miles Cameron

So, barring Branderson, Miles Cameron may be one of our most prolific authors. He writes a minimum two books a year, one SFF and one historical fiction (as Christian Cameron) and he is... An absolute phenomenon. He IS the Chuck Norris meme. I'm obsessed with him. He's former US military intelligence turned naturalised Canadian Hippy, has written over fifty novels, can turn his hand to any genre and write it fantastically, is a practical archaeologist - running large scale re-enactments from a variety of periods ranging from Bronze Age right the way up to the Victorian era, using traditional techniques to allow academics to study how the practicalities of weapons, clothes, food etc. would have worked in practice. Two years ago he won a medieval combat tournament in Verona, a clear ten years older at least than the next oldest competitor, he teaches Historical European Martial Arts, but ties it into the history of martial arts globally. He can make his own clothes, ink, leatherwork. He's a ballet dancer. I once took him for a day out and he ended it in a different shirt and shoes from the ones he'd started in. I asked him for an author photo and he sent me this:

DEEP BLACK is the sequel to his critically acclaimed SF debut ARTIFACT SPACE, where he has taken his research and experience of global historical cultures and extrapolated to create an interplanetary future where the best of all are celebrated. And then Aliens Happen. And then, in reaction, Capitalism Happens (which is covered in the short story collection BEYOND THE FRINGE).

He's such a thoughtful and erudite speaker, if you're curious about his work, I'd recommend listening to his episodes on the Friends Talking Fantasy podcast, and also his appearance on The Publishing Rodeo.

If SF isn't your bag, he's also got:

Arthurian fantasy

Bronze Age fantasy

Medieval Mages fantasy

A CURSE OF CROWS - Lauren Dedroog

I actually inherited Lauren when a colleague of mine departed for fresh pastures, which gave me the great opportunity to work on this series which is so vastly different from my usual fare. It's epic, sweeping, romantic and lush, with such detailed description and complex political machinations, while also being brutal, dark and heavy (tw: for sexual assault, torture etc, etc.). If you like Sarah J Maas and Cassandra Clare, this should hit the sweet spot. Lauren is an ICU nurse when not writing, and this was somehow created when she was putting in a million hours in hospitals during COVID. The feat boggles my mind.

A CURSE OF CROWS is out now in the UK, Australia and Europe, and it won the People's Choice for Standaard Boek's Book of the Year award in 2023, in her home country of Belgium. It will be hitting shelves in North America next September! A DANCE OF SERPENTS is where I get to pick up the editorial mantle, and that has just landed in my inbox this week so I am excited to dig in.

Featuring:

Harold, they're lesbians

Murder baby is actually a cinnamon roll

Sensitive wings are sexy

For serious, though, I'm lucky enough to work with a lot of authors I'm genuinely obsessed and astounded by. And yes, I do get to work on Joe Abercrombie, Brandon Sanderson and Andrzej Sapkowski, but they're not MY authors - they're led by the incredible Gillian and Marcus who I'm not 100% certain sleep. There are so many people on the Gollancz list who I could recommend for DAYS (and will, if you so request), but this is my stable of superstars.

[drgnflyteabox]

18+mdni, best friends younger brother!johnny comes back from deployment and corners you in her living room, gross dirty talk, super dubcon, reader says "don't" but johnny does, fingering, cross swinging on his hairy chest, a bit of humiliation, "little" used affectionately (and grossly) not as a size indicator, random pet names

“Yer such a pretty little girl,” Johnny breathes. He's sick, so sick. Your stomach tightens and flips as he drags his fingers over your bare thighs. You don’t stop him.

“So soft,” he murmurs against your neck. “Aren't ye?”

An uncontrollable tremor starts in you, building from your belly. You gasp when he reaches your panties, legs frozen, like they’re unsure of whether to open or close.

Johnny's always been dirty and weird, inappropriate and pushy. The kind of guy that takes eye contact as an invitation to start acting like a dog. It's only now that he's got you alone, hand up your skirt, that you realize all of Maisie’s warnings were really serious.

Those intense eyes burn into the side of your face, watching every little micromovement you make as he rubs your clit through the fabric of your panties. You're hot in the face, embarrassed, unsure. You think of Maisie walking back in the front door, of her parents, of anybody seeing you this way.

“Ah can see yer thinkin’,” Johnny says. His fingers pull the damp gusset aside and finally touch wetness.

“Maybe we should stop,” you rush out. Your breath is coming heavy, now. Labored. You're trembling worse, hand coming up to squeeze Johnny's shirt in your fist.

“Shh, it's fine,” he says. “Yer a good little girl, aren't ye? Be good.”

“I’m older than you,” you laugh, shifting your hips, squirming.

Johnny grins and leans in to suck your earlobe, puffing hot breaths against your jaw. The rough pads of his fingers pull the hood of your clit up, then press down onto your vulnerable clit.

You suck in a breath, jerking upwards, running from the intensity of the feeling. Blood rushes in your ears, a high keening sound cutting through the air, rising from your throat.

“Oh, God, don’t do it like that–”

But he continues, climbing bodily into your lap to hold your hips down. God, he’s fucking heavy. He shoves his hand fully into your panties, leaning over you. Rubs without mercy.

You shout, struggling a little, breath caught in your throat.

“S’alright, pretty girl,” he grunts. He pulls his hand out only for a moment to pull his shirt off, reaching right back down as your mouth opens and closes helplessly.

“Maisie–”

“Isnae gonnae be back fer another half hour,” he cuts you off, curling two fingers into your hole. It’s too much, too much, too much, but you arch your back and whine.

Your vision gets hazy, stuck under him, so close you can smell his musk and his shitty cologne. His chest, bare, hairy, takes second place to the cross swinging in your face as he stuffs his fingers in and out clumsily.

He growls over you, using his other hand to grab yours and grinding into it. You’re loose, useless, gasping and sighing, muscles jellified.

The cross stares you down, but it only serves to make your cunt even tighter on his fingers. Squeezing. You stare at it, then past it, at his fat pecs.

“Makin’ a mess of ye, honeypie,” he licks your cheek, tongue close enough to your eye that you flinch, pushing his chest and shoulders close enough that you feel boxed in. You can’t move, can’t hump his fingers desperately like you want to.

Your cheek is wet with his spit, drying cold.

“That’s right, honeypie, ye gonnae come fer me?”

He uses your hand like a toy, grinding hard into it, groaning. His pace is messy, staccato rhythm making your wrist sore with the force of it.

“Gimme it,” he pants.

You start to come, trapped and crushed and face falling forward into the warmth of him, shaking though your legs are trapped by his bulk. Johnny notices, grunting words you can’t hear into your ear, pressing impossibly closer, and following suit.

When you slump, shivering with the aftershocks, Johnny sits back on your lap and pulls his fingers out of you. He puts them in his own pants, into his own mess, and brings his hand up to your mouth.

“Show me yer tongue,” he says, voice still thick.

You frown, scrunching your face, turning away.

“Maisie–”

“Sh,” he cuts you off. “Open yer mouth, show me yer tongue.”

“Gross–”

When you don’t, he squeezes your jaw until you open your mouth, tongue out.

He rubs the mix of you both on his tongue, all four fingers stuffing your mouth, making you cough and choke.

“Better get cleaned up,” he laughs when he’s done, sliding back onto the couch with the attitude of a lazy cat. “Maisie's gonnae be back any second now, honeypie."

[gravegoer]

i need royal blood part 2 pleasssseee UAGUHDUAHD

Royal Blood — 🜲

i personally love this AU and i hope you guys do too.. for some ODD reason i havent gotten many asks about it but here u guys go summary: sevika helps u get ready for your ball, and a little jealousy

masterlist , part 1

It had been around a week since the night Sevika basically cradled you to sleep. Unfortunately, you didn't see her around much, feeling a bit lonelier without her presence to keep you company.

It's possible she felt guilty for having her hands all over the princess, thinking it's not her place. But in reality, she was just trying her best to resist you. She kept herself busy with mundane and useless tasks, but still hovering close enough to keep an eye on you.

And your plans for her didn't make it much easier for her to hold back.

During the week that your parents were absent on a trip, they had reluctantly allowed you to host a ball. Seeing as this was the perfect way to prove to your parents that you were capable of being responsible you had to insure everything went as planned.

You had your butler customize invitations and send them to a select few noble families. Even though you would have much rather invited your average friends, ruckus had to be avoided, and your friends would most likely cause more trouble than they intend.

Now it was the morning of the big day, despite your mind being set on Sevika the whole morning you had managed to pull yourself out of bed, still in your nightgown, and go downstairs.

As always breakfast was waiting for you on the table, you internally thanked the chef as you dug into your meal, savoring the flavors. The large window in front of you showcased the front of your castle, Sevika stood outside, simply watching passerbyers as if suspecting each and every one.

You laughed to yourself at how seriously she took her job, wondering what was on her mind. You set your plate aside and strode to the double doors to take a breath of fresh air (talk to Sevika).

You emerged, and the cold stone of the stairs nipped at your bare feet. She shot you a questioning look before you spoke, “So.. the ball is today”

“I know, i'll be on guard duty.”

You scoffed at her seriousness, “Really? This is my big day, and you aren't even going to show up. You've been cold this week.”

She sighed and her shoulders seemed to slump a bit, “Apologies, is there anything you want?”

“Yes!” You groaned, “Just— can you at least help me get ready tonight?”

She cocked an eyebrow at your question, “Isn’t that what your personal maid is for?”

“Well– I need help picking something to wear, and my maid is supposed to be bias. She will like anything i do, and you’d tell me the truth right?”

Sevika nodded, giving in a bit.

“Great! I admire your honesty, truely. Join me in my quarters tonight at 6:00.”

Before she could protest you were stepping back inside all giddy. It seemed you would finally get some time to yourself with Sevika. I mean she couldn't deny an order, Right?

..

Right.

Sevika showed up to your door at exactly 6:00 PM, punctual as always. You greeted her with a smile, now changed into a different stay-at-home outfit. You had been lounging around your room for most of the day while waiting for Sevika to arrive.

The balcony door in your room was open, and there were books strewn about your bed. She shook her head at your carelessness and walked over to the balcony, pulling the door shut.

“You know anyone could come in through there right?” She stated sternly.

“To my balcony on the second floor?” You laughed, "Whatever you say, I guess you're the boss around here."

She let out a small laugh that could be mistaken for a scoff and turned to your quite large closet, motioning for you to open it. You pulled the doors open to reveal your plethora of dresses and other garments. Sevika sighed at the fullness as you started to push around the dresses, looking for a color you liked.

After some time, you held up two dresses, and Sevika cringed at them, “That one isn’t fit for a ball, and that one is just—” You groaned, interrupting her.

“You said you were looking for honest, not biased.”

Shaking your head you dove back into the clothes, hands emerging with a beautifully embroidered dress, and another that was similar in style with a low V neckline. Sevika looked contemplative for a moment before motioning to the changing divider, “Try them on for me.”

You crossed your arms, “Well, I cant put them on myself, I need help with the corset.”

You said this like it was common sense, but Sevika looked at you incredulously, not expecting you to ask for something like that from her. She grabbed the corset that was on the ground and the second dress from your hand, “Okay, lets get this over with.”

..

"Fuck, Sevika its too tight," you grunted, hands gripping onto the back of a wooden chair.

Sevika had a knee between your legs, roughly pulling at the strings of a white corset. You were just about to be pulled back by her strength if it wasn't for her leg holding you in place.

"Why the fuck would you put yourself through this," she mumbled through gritted teeth.

You yelped in response, and she finally opted to finish tugging and tied it diligently in the back. Breathing a sigh of relief, you slumped forward on the chair, pushing further into Sevikas leg.

Her hands found your waist before she teasingly asked, "Tight enough?"

You nodded, somewhat annoyed with her sarcastic tone, and grabbed the dress that was on the seat of the chair. Sevika backed up and looked away to try and give you even an ounce of privacy as you tugged it over your head.

The dress hugged your curves in the torso and fell around your legs perfectly, with not too much poof and just enough embroidery. It touched the floor and covered your feet, trailing elegantly with you.

Sevika almost gawked at the sight, most definitely eyeing the V neck of the dress. She was glad she picked it.

"You look ready for a ball," she smirked.

"Aww, that's all you have to say?" You giggled, twirling around.

The small twinkle in your eye made her swoon, and she laid a hand on your waist, "You look beautiful, princess."

You smiled at her action, feeling the gentleness from that night return. It's like you broke down her walls in a second, with nothing but a mere look. You all but pried her hand from your waist, flitting over to your vanity.

Grabbing a clip and a comb, you motioned for Sevika to follow you.

"You know I can't do hair, don't push your luck with me. The corset was as far as I'll go," she crossed her arms as if she were putting a foot down.

"No, silly, let me do yours. If you won't dress up for my ball, this is the least you can do," You giggled, pushing her down into your plush vanity stool.

It creaked under her weight, and she sighed but made no further protests. You could see her eyeing you in the mirror, having little faith in your ability. But you just smiled and got to work.

Taking her small bun out, you brushed the small knots and tangles out of her dark hair. It was soft and shiny between your fingers. You admired the deep smell of her shampoo mixed in with her natural scent.

Then, you pulled it up into the same half updo, but instead of tying it with a rubber, you inserted a silver clip in its place. The clip matched her metal arm perfectly, with just the slightest touch of regalness, to show it was yours.

You held a mirror to the back of her head, showing her your work so that she could view it from the mirror in front of her. "It's pretty right?"

Sevika squinted at it in the mirror, bringing a flesh hand up to touch it gently. "Yeah, too pretty for me."

You scoffed and pushed her head gently, "Nonsense, it's just right. As a matter of fact, keep it."

And this would be your first gift to her. The first among many.

She snorted, "I can't deny a gift from the princess"

Looking at the small clock on your vanity, it read: 7:12.

Fuck.

It started in less than 10 minutes. You hurriedly pulled Sevika out of your stool and checked your makeup and hair in the mirror. She smirked at your worriedness and silently held out an arm for you to take.

You turned around to her, eyeing her arm before gently wrapping your hands around it, looking at her to gauge a reaction. But she walked you to your doors, opening them for you with one hand.

You smiled, realizing her intentions, she was going to walk you out in front of all those people. I mean, it was appropriate, right? It's normal for your personal guard to walk you out, only a safety precaution.

..

Well atleast thats what you told yourself as Sevika walked you down the grand staircase right into the party. People gawked at the sight of their princess, admiring the sight of your beautiful dress, others were staring at something— or rather someone else.

Sevika contrasted your appearance greatly. She stood menacingly at your side, glaring at anyone that shot confused glances. Her rough scarred skin opposed the softness of your exposed flesh. Your delicately jeweled fingers were wrapped around her thick arm as she helped you maneuver down the carpeted stairs.

You let her arm go so that you could start greeting your guests. Your servents had put together a grand ball, tables of food and wine were placed intricately, decorated with jars of flowers and other miscellaneous things.

Women complemented your dress while you shook hands with their husbands, offering some wine or water. You were on your best behavior, making sure your guests would report back to your parents talking about how respectful and polite you were.

A tall woman with dark skin approached you, her white dress with gold accessories glimmered in your eyes. She was positively beautiful.

You introduced yourself, "Hello, im glad you could make it tonight. Your dress is striking."

She smiled kindly at your remark, "It's so nice to finally meet you, princess, let me introduce myself," She took your hand and brought it to her supple lips, "I am Mel Medarda."

Your cheeks flushed, "Well, it's a pleasure."

When you finished the pleasantries, you turned to see Sevika glaring at you and Mel from her position in front of the door, taking over for one of the guards. Excusing yourself from the conversation, you made your way to the other side of the room. After swerving through groups of people, avoiding small talk and sending small waves, you finally got to her.

She watched you the whole way over, but decided to look away the second you approached her. Tapping on her arm you cleared your throat, "Ahem, your princess would like a word with you."

She raised her eyebrow, turning her gaze back to you, "Its not appropriate for the princess to be speaking to a worker during an event."

You laughed off her coldness, "Why are you looking at me so intensely then," You started circling her like a predator to its prey, "You wanted my attention?"

She smirked at your playfulness but shook her head, "Just seeing you interact with others is.. odd."

"Jealous?" You teased, knowing she most likely only thought this because she always saw you cooped up at home.

But to your suprise, her stern demeanor fumbled a bit, brows furrowing and eyes widening.

"No. Get back to your duties, we've been speaking for too long, people are staring."

If she wouldn't admit it, you'd make her.

i do plan on making a part 3 ! but im going to be working on some shorter fics + hcs so i have time to release the beauty and the beast fic :)

taglist: @thequeenreaders @hangezoes-wife @thesecondhandwoman @slut4sevika @kylorey25 @archangeldyke-all

comment or ask to be added <33

[2handsslan]

lando norris // ln4 fic recs

———————————— 🏎️🏎️ ————————————

one shots

we should be best friends too - @writting-stuff-sometimes

“y/n is pietra's best friend, she considers max to be a nice guy, but who she really can't stand is max's best friend, lando. at max's birthday party, pietra asks just one thing, an easy, fun night, but with y/n and lando in the same room, this is almost impossible”

seeing someone - @forzalando

“lando is finally ready to tell you how he feels when he overhears you say that you've started seeing someone - but overheard conversations aren't always what they seem”

twenty fine - @mywritersmind

“throwing your best friend a birthday party is easy. trying to figure out if he’s joking about kissing you is the hard part. two best friends and a moonlit roof”

2 hands - @no-144444

“your stunt-driver pulled out the day before the shoot, good thing you're dating an f1 driver”

walk me like a runway - @mywritersmind

“lando doesn’t know anything about runways, especially a certain victorias secret runway that’s breaking the internet. when he gets the invite, it’s certainly a surprise, but with one old and one new friend by his side, he starts to see the appeal of this whole model thing. he likes it for one reason, and that reason is opening the whole show”

one in a million - @goldenroutledge

“lando’s comfort show is revealed to the world and you only love him more for it”

through through the years - @katsu28

“a few glimpses into lando's journey of being in love with his best friend's sister”

lockscreen - @merchelsea

“you're keeping lando and your brother, oscar, company while they sign some things for mclaren when you notice lando's lockscreen”

break my heart and i swear im moving on with your favorite athlete - @mywritersmind

“you weren’t joking when you wrote the lyric ‘break my heart and i swear i'm movin' on with your favorite athlete’. what a perfect opportunity when that same athlete falls right into the palm of your hands with your ex’s burning gaze directed straight at you”

in the spotlight - @dcintys

“lando norris protects his actor girlfriend from an aggressive paparazzi crowd at a red carpet even”

marks on your body - @mywritersmind

“in which it starts with strip poker and ends with questions about a specific hidden tattoo and some secret piercings. or, lando and oscar are both hot for you and let you know it”

best friend - @aleskie-hischier

“this is what it feels like to be in love with your best friend”

through their eyes - @revolutionsingingintherainnn

“lando and yn’s relationship through other people’s eyes”

series

our deal - @sof1shticated

“lando norris x williams driver!reader, friends with benefits (idiots to lovers)”

alls fair in love and war - @mywritersmind

“its the vacation of your dreams! with your best friends, rich men, live music, and flowing drinks, nothing can ruin it. even if a certain formula 1 driver (who seems to have an affinity for annoying you) is there every step of the sandy way”

summers golden haze - @katsu28

“meeting a cute boy on vacation is unexpected. falling in love with that boy is something better than you could’ve dreamed of. the thing is, his life is worlds away from yours, and it complicates things. but you’ll deal with that when the time comes…right?”

a package deal - @motorsportbarbie13

“in which lando befriends a single mom without even realizing it”

lots of love, ellie - @dying-inside-but-its-classy

"how could I ever regret the two of you? you two are the best thing that ever happened to me"

not so happy holidays series - @mywritersmind

“spending christmas with my brothers best friend isn’t my ideal way to celebrate. with my parents in the maldives and my ex calling me non stop, i was hoping for a small town cozy christmas! i was going to get that with max and his girlfriend until lando norris worked his way into the mix”

track walk - @acesofspadess

“you were invited to the miami gp for your track walk series on social media, what follows after you run into a certain papaya boy, no one could prepare you for...”

smau

slip up - @wcters

“you and lando have been dating for awhile, and although there’s been some speculation, it’s never been confirmed until there’s a slip up from your boyfriend”

when you wish upon a star - @astonmartinii

“he's been begging max to set him up ... and look who has him in the grid secret santa”

three is company - @goldsainz

“carlando hard launch”

how do you spell bueutiful? - @pomegranatesarchive

“what are the odds of two dyslexic people dating?…pretty high apparently”

party time - @norrisainz33

“y/n throws a end of season party party and the grid find out ln and y/n have been keeping a little secret”

that’s so true - @chaostudee

“y/n y/ln and lando norris, their relationship as seen on the internet”

it’s nice to have a friend series - @luvstappen

“lando is one of your closest friends… until he sleeps with you and ghosts you”

in a galaxy far, far away series - @verstarppen

“there is little time between fast cars and spaceships but you make it work; lando norris never paid attention to the stupid sci-fi shows daniel used to watch, until he met you”

*these are part of my fic rec masterlist, please note none of these are written by me and the author of each story had been tagged! check out my f1 fic rec masterlist for other drivers!*