#these fuckers have not had a hug in centuries

[butterfilledpockets]

I am sending huggy leos after my mutuals <3

spacetime continuum be damned- hugs are very much apreciated :D

had so much fun drawing your leo!!! Them big 'ol eyes

(sorry if this looks a little fucked I am sick as shit rn)

[notsohappynotsosad]

Emperor, Stelmane and Gargauth

Sorry I haven't been posting, I got hyperfixated on this theory. Drawings will resume from now

If you’ve completed the game, there’s a chance you know of the reveal that Emperor’s previous associate, Duke Stelmane, has been in fact his thrall. Upon further inspection you may gain some seemingly contradicting information and lots of questions with no answers. This post will be long, but I promise that at the end, most of these questions will be answered. Also, there are pictures.

TLDR: Emperor and Stelmane used to be besties before he enthralled her, but they couldn't defeat Gargauth with their power of friendship.

So, for the uninitiated, what are these questions?

Firstly, when the party enters Rivington and Dream Visitor is revealed to be the Emperor, he will tell us about his life, including that he was partners with Stelmane, though he doesn’t say anything about the thrall bit of course. At this point neither he nor the party knows the Duke is dead. As far as the Emperor is concerned, what he shared might greatly compromise him and he never shares such information when he simply could’ve concealed it.

If you poke around, other questions may arise, such as why was Stelmane’s condition improving after the Emperor's visits? Why was she asking for him? Why was she excitedly talking about him at the Tavern? Why did they hug? Why was she at Elfsong, where he could find her the most easily? Why did she drink wine, which he used to force her to do? Why didn’t she warn anyone about him? Why was she looking through people before the stroke? Why would the Emperor mind control her? Why does he keep her portrait next to his desk? Is he stupid?

Now that I have you hooked (probably), let's introduce our cast.

Emperor – The one and only, our favorite topic for daily arguments. Sluttiest waist in game.

Duke Belynne Stelmane – Gods’ most perfect princess. We all agree to fuck the Emperor for what he did to her (some of us literally). She used to be a member of the Council of Four[1] as well as leader of Baldur’s Gate branch of Knights of the Shield[2]. Had ties to Hhune patriar family, possibly even related. Low levels of waist sluttiness.

Gargauth – better known as the Hidden Lord, a powerful pit fiend imprisoned in the Shield of the Hidden Lord. His portfolio includes betrayal, cruelty, political corruption and power brokers[3]. The Shield has been kept underneath Baldur’s Gate for over a century, spreading corruption in the city due to his presence alone. Such is his influence, that on the condition he’s taken away from the city, the crime rate might drastically drop[1]. He is known to have been communicating through the Shield with a past leader of the Knights, providing him with valuable information and helping the order grow in power while trying to gain worship[3]. Only some of the Hhune family and the highest rank members of the Knights knew about his existence, though in the present day no one is aware of his infernal identity[2]. Gargauth will try to steer his current owner towards acts of cruelty and domination in hopes of condemning their soul to the Nine Hells[1]. In the “Descent into Avernus” ttrpg one of the baddies wants to use the Shield to drag Baldur’s Gate into Avernus in the same fashion it happened for Elturel, but a party of adventurers takes it away before this evil plan is realized[1]. No information on waist sluttiness due to being imprisoned in a shield.

Now that I established myself as a squid fucker and Stelmane as a leader of a devil-worshipping organization, I know what you’re thinking – I’m gonna say that the Emperor had to enthrall this evil cult leader to save the city. Haha, no. Keep reading. Here, have a meme so I don’t lose your attention.

I must begin by clearing some misconceptions. It’s easy to assume that because of the Stelmane scene, all the Emperor told us about her up to that point was a lie. It wasn’t. They had a functional relationship before the mind control took place. (If you already know this, feel free to skip to the next meme.) There are two notes in the game pointing us to that conclusion: a journal found in Hhune mausoleum commonly attributed to Stelmane and a transcribed conversation heard in Elfsong tavern.

This existence of a past relationship also explains the portrait of Stelmane that the Emperor keeps next to his desk and one of his dialogue options when the PC hugs him in act 2.

Later, in act 3, he also has some lines painting a vague picture of the relationship’s nature.

So she was beginning to trust him before he caused the stroke. This makes things so much more messed up.

There’s still one written document, which doesn’t make sense, namely Patient Log:

This is clearly written after the Emperor took mental possession of her and caused a stroke. Why then does he help her and why does she keep asking for him?

Have you ever gone into the Hhune mausoleum and saw this note?

After giving up on solving the puzzle and looking it up online have you wondered who is “HE”?

It’s Gargauth, the Hidden Lord.

In “Descent into Avernus” module the party may encounter an NPC who is a member of the Knights; she is kept by Vanathampur family as a leverage in case it transpires that Vanathampurs stole the Shield of the Hidden Lord from the Hhune crypt [1] – the very same mausoleum present in game. And it just so happens that the key to this very mausoleum is in the Elfsong Tavern’s Knights of the Shield headquarters, where Stelmane and the Emperor had their rooms.

That’s not all. When you solve the Hhune mausoleum puzzle, a secret wall will open, revealing a small room full of the Knights’ symbols. If the Shield hasn’t been stolen, the Hidden Lord would be revealed too, just like the note says.

And what is that on the table? It’s Stelmane’s journal I was referring to earlier.

Stelmane had access to the Shield. And if she did, the Emperor had too.

(Kudos, if you already know where I’m going with this.) Here’s my proposed order of events.

Stelmane and the Emperor meet. At the time she isn’t yet a Duke nor the leader of the Knights. Like any normal person she’s terrified at first, but unlike any normal person she’s willing to collaborate for the sake of the Knights and her own ambition.

Due to having an illithid ally she quickly climbs ranks of the Knights. She grows to trust him and vice-versa. Things are as good as they can be for a determined politician working her way up in a corrupt organization and a renegade illithid helping with this task.

They finally advance to the seats of power. Stelmane becomes a Duke and leader of the Knights of the Shield. Perhaps thanks to this position or due to Emperor prying into minds of the members, they become aware of the Shield of the Hidden Lord kept in Hhune mausoleum.

They begin speaking with the Shield. Neither of them knows the true identity of the entity within it and the Hidden Lord does everything to keep it that way. His information and advice is always good, so turning to it for guidance becomes a habit.

Gargauth being Gargauth makes every effort to corrupt them; it’s not particularly hard. Keep in mind they’re not good people to begin with. She’s someone willing to collaborate with a mind flayer for the sake of taking over an evil organization and he’s one DC 20 persuasion check away from enslaving the city. The devil causes their worst traits to flare up and pitties them against each other.

This results in a power struggle which culminates in the Emperor dominating Stelmane and causing her seizure.

The Shield gets stolen and soon after taken away from the city.

Without Gargauth’s direct influence they (especially the Emperor) realize the fuckup, but the damage has been done.

They recognize the fiend’s influence in this transgression. Emperor starts treating Stelmane, maybe they try to make their relationship how it once was, though it might not be possible.

Emperor gets taken by Gortash and soon after is sent on the Astral Prism heist. Events of Baldur’s Gate 3 happen.

That’s all! Have a meme!

Here’s an extra bit for the interested.

The see-through people gaze is most likely caused by Gargauth’s influence. And before that Wyll says:

Sounds familiar? And from one letter in the game we can learn that Stelmane has a mansion in the Upper City, where the patriar families such as Hhunes reside[2]. Could she be related to Thione-Hhune?

Huge thanks for reading it all! What do you think? Did Larian originally plan to have this side-story of an aftermath of Gargauth’s corruption?

Sources in order of referencing (sorry, I don’t have a better system)

[1] “Descent into Avernus”: p.162, p.174, p.225, p.5, p.40

[2] “Murder in Baldur’s Gate”: p.36, p.51, p.39

[3] “Lords of Darkness”: p.151 (all the info)

[y-rhywbeth2]

Gods and Clergy: Bane

Link: Disclaimer regarding D&D "canon" & Index [tldr: D&D lore is a giant conflicting mess. Larian's lore is also a conflicting mess. You learn to take what you want and leave the rest]

Religion | Gods | Shar | Selûne | Bhaal | Mystra | Jergal | Bane #1 | Bane #2 | Bane #3 | Myrkul | Lathander | Kelemvor | Tyr | Helm | Ilmater | Mielikki | Oghma | Gond | Tempus | Silvanus | Talos | Umberlee | Corellon | Moradin | Yondalla | Garl Glittergold | Eilistraee | Lolth | Laduguer | Gruumsh | Bahamut | Tiamat | Amodeus | The rest of the Faerûnian Pantheon --WIP

Well, I did the murderhobos, might as well cover the deity and daily business of our favourite hot-topic-shopping dictator and co. now? Ahahahahaaaaa There is too much goddamn material on Bane, I'm going to kill Ed Greenwood-

Intro: If you're not consumed with fear and hatred while trying to take over a city which you intend to rule with cruelty and an iron fist then this is not the religion/political party for you. If this is not the religion/party for you, please lower your neck so that I can attach this slave collar to it.

Banites: The hierarchy and rituals and stupid toys of the church of Bane is what you get when Lawful Evil and Lawful Stupid have a horrible, overcomplicated offspring called Lawful Sadistic. Bring me the avatar of Bane I'm going to stab this fucker Also, being goth is mandatory.

Dreadmasters: More teleporting! Bossy, immune to fear and fond of magic rods. Also, do you remember that "divine oath" Durge and Gortash swore...?

The Chosen: Should be way more impressive than what we saw in game. Forging unbreakable oaths! Pet beholders! Detachable shadow spies! Etcetera!

Bane: Boy, the world (and my sanity) would've been a much better off if this dude had gotten intensive therapy instead of divine power!

(This thing is too fucking long and should perhaps be split into two posts but ooooh my god am I not editing this anymore.)

---

Bane's clergy often hear their god whispering his dogma in their dreams:

"Serve no one but me. Fear me always - and make others fear me even more than you do. The Black Hand always strikes down on those who stand against it in the end. Defy me and die - or in your death find loyalty, for I shall compel it. Submit to my will, [as uttered by my ranking clergy] since true power can only be gained through service to me. [Spread the dark fear of Bane.] It is the doom of those unguided by me to let power spill through their hands. [Those who cross the Black Hand meet their dooms earlier and more harshly than those who worship other deities.]" - Bane's Dogma [with 14th century addendums in brackets]

Bane is basically the quintessential villain of the Realms. When a person pictures the face of evil, they picture this god and his followers.

The most important thing to know about Bane and his religion, in my opinion, is summed up here:

"The summons [from Ao] had come wearing the face and form of that which each of the gods feared most. [...] To the Black Lord, Bane, the summons came in the guise of absolute love and understanding, its light searing his essence as it carried him from his kingdom." - Shadowdale

You want to give one of the most evil bastard in the pantheon a panic attack? Give him a hug.

Following a brief version of a backstory that has been given for him; the mortal who would be Bane was born on Abeir, Toril's linked twin planet/parallel universe. There he was a nameless battle slave to Maram of the Great Spear - an ancient primordial being of absolute evil whom the Netherese had summoned into the world, where it broke free and started inflicting horrors upon the world. While in the service of said horrifying evil, the young slave nurtured ambitions of having absolute power for himself.

While on Toril he teamed up with his two future frenemies, Bhaal and Myrkul, and they killed (or possibly subjugated) his master and took his power for themselves, before heading off to nag Jergal for his job. After bickering, the ex-slave known only as "the Bane of the Ancients" wins the draw and gets to be what he always wanted - the epitome of tyranny with godlike power. The next step for him is to conquer the mortal world and destroy all the other gods so that none have power and control over him.

Banite religion is founded on the principle of making Bane's dream of global domination possible. Every Banite is a link in the chains of Bane's power. What they rule, he rules. All Banites strive to take over something (village, city, kingdom, army, whatever). All Banites are expected to aid and obey their superiors in this domination.

When in control, a Banite is to use their power to "further the cause of hate, fear, destruction and strife." Doing so within the control of the law is preferable, but chaos is tolerated as long as that chaos is wielded as a tool with perfect control. You can get voted into power by stirring up people's fears of minorities, or start the apocalypse and present yourself as the saviour - but you must not be overwhelmed, or you have failed.

The world is divided into slaves who have no power and exist to serve, and the powerful who command them. Bane is the rightful master of all and all are to serve him, and by extension his followers (those with the strength to seek, take and hold power), willingly or by force. Control is the key virtue in the eyes of the faith. Always be in control and/or be controlled by somebody more capable/deserving of power than you. As their lessers are expected to obey every order perfectly, the superiors are expected to be competent in their leadership and wield perfect command.

Banites pride themselves on being cold and decisive in all that they say and do. They also enjoy cutting sarcasm. It's vital to appear in command of yourself and the world around you - shouting, loss of temper and other outbursts of behaviour that suggest a lack of control/power are avoided like the plague. Two Banites on the brink of killing each other may appear to be in the midst of only a polite, but insistent disagreement.

Bane used to enjoy watching his power hungry idiots backstabbing each other to climb the ranks while overzealous worshippers splintered into factions and started killing each other (most notably a divide between the divine-magic based orthodoxy and the arcane-magic based reformers/"Transformers".) Then Mystra technically killed him during a fight with Torm in the Time of Troubles, and Cyric took over his church. When Bane made a comeback in the 14th century he immediately decided they wouldn't be doing that anymore. Now it's an united rigid hierarchy from top to bottom, and Banites are a well organised, well equipped unit.

The laws of the heathens are irrelevant, but a Banite who gets caught breaking those law trying to achieve their goals is expected to suck it up and do the time for failure - unless they've been doing such a good job that everybody's too far under their control to try and punish them for it, in which case great job. A+ in Bane worship.

Banites typically establish themselves in an area by finding a location out of sight of a civilisation and building a fortress, where they build their power until they are too strong a force to drive off. Taking over an existing fort is also a possibility. The temple is run like a military base: spartan, with only tapestries showing Bane's symbol and religious texts on it for decoration. The courtyard is meant for military drills and rituals, and there's a mass hall for dining and holding prayer. They like pointy architecture. And black. Oh, and the torture basements! Can't forget those. It's also where they keep a variety of trained monsters in pens. You may end up sharing your cell with a displacer beast or something, but don't worry about it.

Banites have a secret network of teleporting spells. The actual "portals" will be any space of stone big enough to stand on, which are magically connected to other points (also stone). If you stand on one and speak the correct password, then it will teleport you to the destination designated by that password. There are no spells or barriers that can prevent the teleporter from arriving at their destination. Banites can bring others along with them if they are physically connected when the password is said. They can't bring more than 100lbs of inanimate matter with them.

All are welcome to convert to Bane. There will be an interview where your intentions are checked, although if it turns out you're not actually evil-aligned you can still join. There's a good chance that they'll use magic to turn you into an "incorruptible champion of evil and uncompromising disciple of order" anyway; "for Bane recognizes the value of those who have seen the lure of good and turned away from it to serve evil."

Or just use dark magic to twist you from a person into a weapon/guard/servant bound to the service of Bane anyway.

Banites are also able to ensure loyalty with a magically binding divine oath called the Dark Promise, cast by his favoured priests (Dreadmasters). It's an old spell, back from the early days when Bane was a new god and his followers were vulnerable, and is not used as often. When the spell is cast and the oath is made, a set of circumstances are set into motion that targets of the spell must follow to the letter. The promise must have Bane's interests at heart and the conditions and stipulations cannot be endanger the individuals' lives. If the oath is violated, it drains the oath breaker's life force. The damage done by this spell cannot be healed, and if the oath breaking does not cease then they will die.

Bane is one of the few exceptions amongst the gods in that his worshippers are all henotheistic rather than polytheistic. Banites consider worship of other deities "foolish," Bane is the only master you should truly serve. All under Banite rule will be forced to convert to the worship of Bane. They are however willing to cooperate with the followers of Loviatar (pain), Talona (disease), Malar (predation), and Mask (thievery) as Bane has terrified these gods into allying with him. From a certain school of Banite thought, this means that they and their followers are part of the chains of Bane's will (the gods/faithful in question probably wouldn't agree). Bhaal was, or perhaps still is, a servant of Bane and he and Myrkul have also been counted amongst Bane's allies in the past, despite their tendency to squabble, so cooperation with Bhaalists and Myrkulites is not unimaginable when it serves both their deities.

Banites do not get on so well with... anybody, but they particularly hate worshippers of Ilmater (compassion), Tyr (justice), Helm (non-Banite order), Lathander (optimism/renewal), Torm (champion of the innocent), Oghma (knowledge) and Mystra. If they get their hands on one they'll usually torture them and leave their mutilated bodies somewhere for the distressed public to find. Bane and Cyric are still at war, both due to humiliation and the fact that they're still fighting over areas of divine power that the other has stolen/reclaimed from the other, and the corpses of Cyricists that fall into Banite hands are usually found with "heretic" branded on their foreheads as a warning to others who worship the usurper.

Banite clergy are expected to always be armed, and it is mandatory that you at least wear something black at all times. For ceremonial purposes, Banites wear black armour or robes with a blood-red cape. Wizards like to enchant their robes so that they swirl and give off illusions of glittering with "black stars" and have blood dripping off the hem. The higher in the ranks you go, the fancier the clothes get. Banites used to have facial tattooing, although this made them rather easy to identify and kill off when Cyric took over and some purges took place. The highest ranking Banites can be identified by a gem that they wear on their forehead. Banites are not expected to wear anything that would identify their religious affiliations if it would get them persecuted, but they do like decorating their clothes with spikes and are are expected to dress in a certain specific colour that I'm getting sick of typing out. When Bane rules the world we will all be dressing as goths under threat of execution...

Each priest has a ceremonial staff denoting their rank, which they will have at these rituals. When a Banite dies they are buried with it. They are unenchanted and purely for ceremony, at most being used to light braziers. It starts with a simple black wood staff [level 1], which at higher ranks has an ivory skull at the top [lvl 2-4]. Higher yet they add silver plating, and the skull is the size of a fist [lvl 5], and the even higher level priests that skull has ram horns [lvl 6]. After that you get real human skulls! [at lvl 7+]! They're allowed to decorate theirs how they like, as well as adding enchantments. So gemstones, magic runes, etc.

Bane's holy symbol is the Black Hand, a symbol of terror recognisable to the entire Realms. Versions include a black handprint, a black claw or a metal gauntlet embedded with jewels. Priests usually wear a replica of the hand as a carved pendant of black stone. There is another Black Hand seen on his high-ranking priests: elbow-length gloves crafted of flexible metal mesh or chainmail, usually worn on the left hand. It emits an eerie dark radiance, i's supposed to be black, and a non-Banite found wearing one can expect every Banite on the planet to hunt them to the ends of the world for this blasphemy (also it's about 50,000gp in value jfc). The gauntlet cannot be damaged by force and absorbs all spells of third level or less. Area of effect spells are not negated, but cannot affect the wearer. It can drain magic out of items, should the wearer touch them with intent to do so. The wearer can then discharge all of the absorbed magic into the body of another by touching them, causing them damage. They can also paralyze undead and living beings via touch.

To question or disobey a superior is to question or disobey Bane himself, and is answered by torture, disfigurement and/or death. The word of a Banite of superior rank is law, and you will do literally anything they ask you to do.

Banites have invented a magic whip (a mystic lash) that does all sorts of fun nonsense in case that happens. It's made of glowing red energy. If the priest needs their hands free then the whip can actually wield itself (need to scourge that annoying initiate, but you don't want to look up from your book? Then good news!) If the wielder choses, a lash of the whip may cause one of the following; paralysis, memory loss, seizures, extra damage plus the disintegration of equipment, or electrocution.

One is expected to greet those of higher rank by kneeling in front of them and kissing their boots

At the bottom of the hierarchy are the novices, who are addressed by the title of "slave." If they're good enough, Bane will send them a dream vision or manifest as a voice speaking from one of his altars - he will name them, and they are allowed to enter the first rank of the priesthood… of which there are 12 ranks with their own unique addresses, which everybody is expected to memorise. Disrespect to a higher rank will, as mentioned, involve insulting Bane and lead to torture, disfigurement and potential death.

The only time you're not expected to use the titles is when in the presence of heathens, Banites will address each other as Brother/Sister Faithful (when speaking to an equal/lesser) or Dread Brother/Sister (when addressing a superior).

Banites do not refer to each other by name, only by the name of their rank (unless there are too many individuals of the same rank. In the case you had a room full of Black Fangs, you would address them individually as Black Fang [Surname].) It's generally impossible for eavesdroppers to learn the names or personal details of a Banite.

The rankings are determined by character level, and are as follows:

Watchful Brother/Sister/Sibling

Deadly Adept

Trusted Servant

Willing Whip

Hooded Menace

Black Fang

Striking Hand

Vigilant Talon

Masked Death

Dark Doom

Higher Doom

Deep Mystery

The Deep Mysteries include the Deeper Mysteries… which have their own ranks! Secret, higher levels which are unknown to those of the first 11 levels who must address all higher ranking Banites as "Deep Mystery." There is no official means by which a Banite is bestowed this title, they bestow them upon themselves if they believe they should have the rank. The test lies in the fact that in order to keep the title their fellow Banites must also begin using them - in other words if you are not a pretender and truly have the power and authority to hold this title, then your siblings in the faith will follow.

The ranks of the Deep Mysteries, in order of authority, from lowest to highest:

Vigilator

Lord/Lady of Mysteries

Lord/Lady of the Hand

Imperceptor

Dark Imperceptor

Grand Bloodletter

High Inquisitor

The High Imperceptor is the Banite of highest rank of the Deep Mysteries, supreme living servant of Bane, and unlike the prior titles this one cannot be self-bestowed. I haven't seen any explanation for how it is bestowed, but I imagine Bane decides.

Banites don't bother with set holy days. We will have a holy day whenever the leading priest decides we're having one, and it will be called whatever they decide it is. This usually means a) somebody fucked up, time for a public punishment; or b) we've got an enemy/traitor, time for human sacrifice.

Rituals are to be held in as close to pitch darkness as is possible, gathered around the Black Altar (a wood table covered in a black cloth, a block of black stone - whatever, just so long as it's black so we can give it an ominous name). The Black Altar is to be made holy by having a replica of the Holy Hand of Bane floating above it (this too has to be black in colour). This is a levitating 6 foot tall stone hand that can sense alignments within a 60 foot radius, and it will attack good-aligned people on encountering them. When not in use it patrols Banite locations, seeking out spies and intruders and killing them.

And that the Seat of Bane will be placed in front of the Black Altar. The chair is black, its back is carved into the shape of a hand. Senior clergy sit in the throne when acting as Bane's voice for the rest of the congregation. So the leader of the area's Banites sits in the chair, and that means Bane is sitting in the chair. While sitting in it, the seated can read the thoughts of all beings within 90 yards. it can project a forcefield around the chair; can nullify magic in the area; allows the seated to see through illusions and invisibility; know the alignment of everyone present; allow the seated to speak with dead; and also conjure walls of fire. If the chair is knocked over, it causes a massive explosion of fire that kills everyone around it.

Then the party. With minimum partying and maximum solemn, ominous chanting and deep, heavy drum beats. Those guilty of disobedience or other failures will be chained to the altar and whipped in front of the congregation. And then there's the human sacrifice: "Sacrifices had to be humiliated, tortured, and made to show fear before dying to be acceptable to Bane, and they usually met their deaths through slashing, flogging, or being crushed by the Hand of Bane."

The traditional power base of the Banite faith was Zhentil Keep, the base of operations for the Zhentarim. The Black Network has once again been taken from Bane by Cyricists however, after the death of Fzoul Chembryl a few decades back - Fzoul was a Chosen of Bane and basically his favourite servant (who has since been made into a quasi-deity bearing some of Bane's divine power, that he may continue to serve) and Zhentil Keep is currently in ruins. The loss of the Keep (for a second time) destroyed Zhentarim power, and now they're mostly just a bunch of mercenaries with good connections on the black market trade routes (slaves, drugs, weapons, etc) as far as I can find.

-

The Dreadmasters are Bane's specialty priests, making up 10% of all Banites. Dreadmaster is a unisex title. They spend their time doing all the spellwork and making all the delightful inventions that have been giving me a headache. They have a stupid number of spells given to them. Nobody else's specialty priests have this many fucking spells.

They cannot feel fear from sources other than Bane

They can, however, project the feeling of absolute terror into every being within 10 feet of them, usually causing everyone to run screaming.

They can completely destroy the souls of the dying

Create extra evil undead

Create powerful, still sapient undead servants from dead Banites (from ghouls up to vampires)

Create animated suits of armour that serve the Banites, powered by people's souls

Make a warding symbol drawn with a mixture containing three drops of blood from a collection made by sacrificing 30 people. The ward is invisible and cannot be detected, and when activated it drains the life out of everyone present.

They have a supernatural knack for reading other's true moods and intentions They have a supernatural level of charisma and authority over their servants, who cannot help but be fanatically loyal

They are exceptionally skilled in the artificing of magical wands, rods and staves. When they use them the magic of the items is increased.

They're the ones who cast the stonewalk spells that make the teleport network run.

They're also the priests responsible for binding the Dark Promise.

-

"The Chosen of Bane are tyrants in every sense of the word, consumed with the quest for absolute power. Hand-picked by the deity of tyranny and fear, [they] are both charismatic and filled with hate [...] They seek only to rule with absolute, unchallenged authority over every living and undead create across the world."

They are unbothered by temperature, both hot and cold, as well as resistant to being burned or electrocuted.

They do not age, though they will still die at an age where they would've died if they did age.

Supernatural insight into motives and emotions, and a massive boost to their charisma.

They can mind control people, are immune to fear, can share this immunity with others or increase the fear they feel.

They can also cast gaes, which is basically exactly the same as the Dark Promise, but doesn't necessarily have to benefit Bane (blasphemous as that sounds).

They can summon undead beholders to serve them

They can grant their own shadows independence as an undead creature of the same name (shadows), While separate the shadow is free-willed, though the two remain telepathically linked.

They are served by a retinue of their own master's servants including: doppelgangers; helmed horrors; beholders; undead Banites; hell hounds; imps; displacer beasts; Banelar nagas (evil snake things with human faces)

-

Bane doesn't like using avatars, if he needs to manifest on Toril he just possesses people in positions of wealth and power who transform into handsome, yet "oily" looking black haired men as long as he's inhabiting them. The souls of these people are forced to watch as the god does what he wants. Once the body is "worn out" from all the punishment he puts them through (mortal shells, so fragile) he'll move to another evil or neutral mortal via touch.

If he strikes out with his gauntleted hand, then there is a good chance that the person stuck will drop dead.

In combat he warps the face into a more beastial visage. His hands become talons capable of "rending flesh and bone" and in the Time of Troubles when he was first forced to manifest as a normal human he immediately started editing the body into a more demonic visage although that might've been because he'd just crash landed in his own temple and destroyed it, and only had a few moments until his torture happy zealots turned up to find what seemed to be some random dude standing in the wreckage. He was in kind of a panic trying to make sure they saw Bane, God of Tyranny not... that.

His other manifestations as a pair of blazing red eyes staring out from the darkness, and a black, taloned hand which was the temperature of ice to the touch. They work exactly like his other manifestation.

Bane sometimes announces his presence, and that he is paying attention to you, with the sudden manifestation of the giant footprint of a boot, scorched into the earth. He shows his approval of his followers through their sudden discovery of a black sapphire. His disapproval is shown through the sudden appearance of red carnelian, ground into dust.

He is served by various devils, beholders, death tyrants (the undead remains of beholders that failed him), black dragons, banelar nagas and pride incarnates

Bane can cast any spell at will, save those that heal or create.

Bane was slain in the Time of Troubles. After his death his followers had an even bigger row between those who were loyal to Bane (orthodoxy) and those who worshipped his portfolio instead of the god himself and switched to Cyric. Many of the Orthodoxy began worshipping Iyachtu Xvim the Godson, son of Bane (whose mother was either a fiend or a fallen human paladin, nobody's sure).

Xvim was doing a pretty ok job in his nascent godhood up until 1372 DR, when Bane hijacked the essence of himself he'd left in his son and destroyed him - being reborn within his body and immediately regaining the rank of Greater Deity. About a few years following the Bhaalspawn Crisis, the year where Bhaal was supposed to be reborn from the death of his kids but failed.

Bane went on to continue being one of the most infamous, powerful and dangerous gods on Faerûn up until the Second Sundering, when suddenly we've got confusion.

In BG3 canon, the Dead Three are clearly greater than quasi-deity status. Due to new rules that WotC pulled out of their ass, gods of lesser deity status or higher cannot manifest avatars. Bane can still empower clerics and have Chosen, so he's most likely still a Greater Deity in BG3.

In Descent into Avernus, the Dead Three are apparently quasi-deities now, forced to exist in permanent avatars on Toril and unable to grant spells of have Chosen.

I think this nicely explains what I mean when I say D&D has no fucking "real" canon, it's all just a mountain of everyone's headcanons.

[axelsagewrites]

Daemon Targaryen*Wedding

Pairings: Daemon x f!reader

Word count: 2619

Warnings: none just fluff

Masterlist here

This is the finale of the sugar baby series but can be read as a stand alone one shot

Sugar Baby series

Part one - Part two - Part Three - Part 4.5 - Part Four

 You couldn’t believe this was your life. The cake had been ordered, your hair and makeup booked, and your wedding dress had just arrived after its final alterations. Your wedding dress to marry Daemon Targaryen in. The days counting down to the wedding had been some of the most stressful yet joyous of your life.

Daemon had insisted on doing the “twelve days of weddingmass” where each day his assistant dropped off either flowers or chocolates or trinkets and all with a handwritten note.

Four more days doll. Can’t wait to see you at the alter – d.t

Three more days doll. I’ll be the one in the stunning red suit – d.t

Two more days doll. Can’t wait to be able to show you off to everyone there – d.t

One more day doll. Gods, I love you – your soon to be husband

Daemon was currently staying at his brother’s house, insisting that you don’t see each other the day of the wedding. It was slightly odd to you how he suddenly valued traditions, but you weren’t going to complain especially not the night before your wedding.

Sara had come over earlier in the day to help you with final touches and your nerves since even though you loved Daemon with all your heart you were still nervous as hell. Daemon had secretly spoke to sara though so today you had enjoyed full body massages and a guided meditation that he had organised along with a massive bouquet of flowers.

“girl, are you excited?” Sara asked, practically jumping onto the couch beside you as you both relaxed in the matching lilac robes Daemon had bought you. “you’re getting hitched,”

You couldn’t help but grin as you sank back into the plush sofa, champagne in hand. “I didn’t think I’d ever be this lucky,”

“you deserve it babes,” sara said as she topped of both your drinks, “couldn’t think of a better couple. Apart from me and Jace of course,” she added with a cheeky grin.

“I’ll drink to that,” you laughed as you clinked your glasses.

Sadly, you could not stay up too late but trying to sleep was almost impossible. The next morning when you and sara woke, you had insisted you had a final sleepover in bed together, you headed downstairs to find breakfast already made. Daemon has sent over a private chef to make pastries and fancy coffees for you and sara with a note on the counter.

I love you so much doll and I cannot wait to see you walking down that aisle today – yours truly

You enjoyed the last few minutes of calm energy you could muster before you got the call the car was here to take you and sara to the venue. As you pulled up outside sara squeezed your hand, “you ready Mrs Targaryen?” She spoke.

You smiled, letting go a breath with the last of your stress, “let’s do this fucker,”

When you arrived to the getting ready room everything was in full swing. Three makeup artists lined the room with vanities set up with big lights and plush seats. There were hairdressers further up the room all decked out to the nines with extensions and curlers for your party. Sara had come with you but Rhaenyra, Baela, and Rhaena were already in the room.

Rhaenyra squealed when she saw you, running over to encase you in a tight hug. You had both become so close since you had announced your engagement, so you were grateful to have her by your side. Part of you wondered if Baela and Rhaena found having a young stepmom to be awkward but if they had they’d never said anything since Baela handed you a champagne flute and Rhaenyra started a toast.

“to the wedding of the century,”

You were halfway through getting your makeup done when the room fell quiet. You apologised to the lady doing it before turning around and seeing Alicent had just walked in the room. Rhaenyra was doing her best to pretend she didn’t exist while Baela glared at her step aunt.

Sara was beside you and nudged you to speak. You stammered for a second before speaking, “just in time. I think Beth is the one taking you now,” you said, gesturing her to go to one of the makeup ladies who smiled brightly at the woman.

Alicent nodded, silently walking over when you decided you couldn’t have these awkward vibes today. You quickly jumped out your seat to head to the drinks table, “white or red Alicent?” You asked, holding each bottled up.

“red please,” she smiled, her eyes flickering down with a sorry gaze behind them.

You poured the wine quickly before taking it over to her, your own glass in hand, “to family,” you said, raising your glass to toast hers. Alicent smiled warmly as you gently clinked your glasses together, “and to whoever picked out these wines since these are fucking delicious,” you joked as you headed back to your seat.

The room laughed, the tension finally gone when Alicent pipped up, “I had the red flown from Dorne. I had it there on my honeymoon. The whites from old town though. My grandmother’s vineyard,” she said, an awkward smile toying her lips.

“then you dear sister have great taste,” you grinned before shutting your eyes to have your eyeshadow done.

You could practically feel the tension melt away as the room buzzed with excitement. As you were finished getting your hair done Jace slipped in the room. “had to make sure you don’t run for it,” he joked in your ear as you got out your chair.

“you can’t get rid of me that easy,” you laughed as you admired the fine work in the mirror. You looked fucking gorgeous.

“I was also sent to give you this,” he said as he held out an open necklace box revealing a delicate silver locket with a red ruby on the front. You gasped lightly, your fingers trailing the fine metal, “it was my great grandmothers, Daemons mom. He said it was your something old,”

You smiled softly as Jace helped place the locket around your neck. You held the locket gently in your hand when you turned back, “tell him thank you,” you said and Jace nodded before quickly giving sara a see you soon kiss and disappearing.

“this is for you too,” Rhaenyra said as she stepped out of the makeup artists chair and looking absolutely stunning you would add. “something borrowed,” she said as she passed you another small box.

You opened it with confused eyes, but you couldn’t help but smile when you opened it, “it’s beautiful,” you said as you took the silver pin with the Targaryen crest on the front.

“you pin it to the inside of your dress. We all did it,” she said, and you wondered how many generations had worn this pin on their own special days, “welcome to the family,” she said, giving you another hug.

“im gonna cry,” you said, fighting back the tears.

“no crying on my watch,” Aemond’s voice snapped you out of it as he entered the room. “yes, this is the look,” he said as you pulled back from Rhaenyra, “told you these girls know their stuff,” part of you wondered how Aemond knew so much about hair and makeup and fashion but you did not question it when you realised he was holding your dress, “and this is for you,” he said as he hung it up and began to unzip it.

All your bridesmaids quickly gathered round to see your dress and gasps and awws rang across the grounds. “it’s beautiful,” sara said, hugging your shoulders from behind and resting her chin on your shoulder, “have I ever mentioned how jealous I am?”

“a few times,” you said laughing at her joke, “now get out of here Aemond. We gotta get me changed,” you said making the girls laugh and hoot and Aemond to quickly scurry off.

Sara agreed to help you get into your dress while the others got into there’s. She had been practising doing up the corset strings on a mock up for weeks, so it was easy for her to quickly do you into the fine soft fabric. It was a crystal white colour with soft lace and tulle cascading down like a princess in a fairy tale.

All the girls kept oohing and ahhing when you revealed the dress. Alicent had went round the room making sure all the red wine was tucked away now you were all in your proper dresses. Rhaenyra, Alicent, Baela, and Rhaena all wore deep red satin bridesmaid dresses that in your opinion looked absolutely stunning on them. Now it was just sara to get dressed in her maid of honour outfit which while was the same cut and fabric was instead in a dark black shade.

Daemon had arranged for them all the be gifted alexander McQueen shoes which made sara almost cry as she slipped them on. However, your shoes were custom from Louboutin with a blue bottom instead of red to complete the tradition.

Soon you were ushered down the hall and waiting for the music to play. You got to finally see your groomsmen. Jace was there in his black suit waiting to take saras arm with a quick kiss. Cregan was introducing himself to a very flirty Baela who was keen to take his arm. Luke was chatting away to Rhaena who he would be escorting down and Aemond was on a walkie talky talking about something that he refused to tell you about. He was going to be walking his mother while Aegon who turned out to be less of an asshole than you first thought was waiting to walk with his sister.

Aegon quickly walked over to you, giving you a brief hug before whispering in your ear, “I’ve got a flask and a getaway car. Which will it be?” He said as he pressed the flask into your side discreetly with a cheeky grin.

You swotted at him but smiled as you took a swig of what you soon learned was straight vodka. “Christ Aegon what the fuck?” You said as you tried to recover from the vile taste, “you need better taste,”

“story of his life,” Aemond muttered as he ditched his headset, “places people we’re walking in 10. Get in order,”

Luke and Rhaena walked first, then Cregan and Baela, then Aemond and Alicent, then Aegon and Rhaena, then Jace and sara then finally you. As each couple started their walk you felt your eyes tear up at the sound of the wedding march. Sara reached back to squeeze your hand as Aegon and Rhaenyra began their walk.

You looked up when someone cleared their throat to see Viserys stood there in a clean black suit, “may I?” He smiled, offering his arm. You were touched since you had no one else to give you away and gladly took his arm.

Sara sent you an assuring smile before she started her walk and then it was you. You took one final deep breath before turning to your soon to be brother, “let’s do this,” you said. You could feel your feet moving but everything suddenly became so surreal as the entire room stood to welcome you. But when you looked down the aisle to see a teary-eyed Daemon turn around you knew you would be alright.

The ceremony went off without a hitch. No one objected, no phones pinged, and somehow you managed to not ruin your makeup despite being teary eyed the whole time. After signing the official papers and finally getting to kiss Daemon after a full 24 hours without him you were finally married.

You let out a sigh of relief as the limo door closed behind Daemon to take you to the wedding reception. “hello Mrs Targaryen,” Daemon grinned, leaning in to kiss your cheek.

“hello husband,” you grinned back, leaning in for a quick kiss.

“ooh I like the sounds of that doll,” Daemon said, his hand reaching to cup your jaw to deepen the kiss. You heard a click and when you looked up you noticed the driver had closed the partition and you laughed before turning your attention back to your new husband.

You arrived at the wedding venue with Daemon trying to help tame your hair and you straightening his tie. Your wedding party was waiting outside for you both to start their entrances. Luke and Rhaena were up first, dancing into the room while Gangnam style blasted from the speakers making everyone cackle. Next up was Cregan and Baela who both wore pink feather boas as they danced into wannabe by the spice girls, and you wondered how often they had to meet for their choreography.

It was Aemond and Alicent you were worried about since you had never seen either danced but everyone started to hoot and holler when we are family came on and they danced in with a very choregraphed elaborate ball room move that would make strictly jealous. Alicent had some moves damn. This was quickly followed by im sexy, and I know it by lmfao blasting as Aegon and Rhaenyra with Aegon walking on his hands and doing a flip while Rhaenyra wore a backwards baseball cap and sunglasses.

The whole room was already sore from laughing when it was Jace and saras turn. Dear future husband rang out as the pair span each other about and sara walked around showing off a large ring pop on her hand. You and Daemon had been waiting behind the doors, looking out and trying not to laugh at your friends and families’ antics.

“and finally, may I announce my best friend and everyone’s favourite uncle. Mrs and Mr Targaryen,” sara yelled into the mic making everyone burst into a round of applause. Sadly, for you both you did not choregraph a hilarious dance but instead ran in, hands held tight, as everyone applauded you both running to the sweetheart table before speeches would start.

While you loved the sentiment even you had to admit some of the speeches were a drone. That was until saras hilarious maid of honour speech where the whole room was laughing harder than at any point so far. Then it was Daemons turn to thank everyone for coming and then he turned to you, “and I couldn’t have done it without you doll. You have been my everything, a shining light in this hellish world and I thank you for that,” he said, his voice tearing up making you reach for his hand, “I love you and im gonna stop before I embarrass myself,” he said as he handed the microphone over.

The whole night was perfect. You danced your first dance to lover by Taylor swift and danced till your feet were about to fall off. You couldn’t have asked for a better night especially when right at the end Daemon decided to sweep you off your feet, literally, to carry you out to your limo he had waiting with even more champagne.

“where are we going?” You asked as you noticed the driver take a wrong turn.

Daemon smirked as he squeezed your hand, “right now we’re going to the Martell plaza hotel so that tomorrow morning we can catch our plane,” he said making you turn around excitedly in your seat. While Daemon allowed you to decide anything you wanted for the wedding, he had insisted on planning the honeymoon, “hope you’re ready for four weeks in Dorne doll. That is if I let you leave the hotel room”

Taglist: @clairacassidy @valeskafics @starkleila @delicious-xx @pet1t3 @skyesayshi @urmomsgirlfriend1 @dark-night-sky-99 @lantsovheiress@themotherofblood @avalyaaa @simbaaas-stuff @lunampacheco

[unicornpopcorn14]

1, 8, or 32 for skk (from the hug prompts) 🥹👉🏻👈🏻

bestie you can’t do this to me i will request all of them

THEY'RE ALL SUCH GOOD PROMPTS I AGREEEE

Hug prompts

Decided to go for 1- "Are you cold? You look like you're freezing."

Additionally, for @dazaibirthdayweek2024 Day 3: Good Intentions + Masks

Words: 3.3k. Hope you like it, Essie!! :D

Rings a Bell

You’d think being stuck with your former partner/enemy in a confined space is the worst thing that can happen to a person…

But no, it can get worse, when said confined space happens to be a fucking freezer room.

Yeah, Chuuya has no idea what led them to this. Well, he does, but thinking about it too hard might cause his fifth aneurism today, and, less importantly, dissipate his already fickle energy.

A snicker resounds from beside him, “Chuuya’s growling like a dog again!”

“Shut the fuck up before I hang you from that meat hook myself…” He tries to give his usual bite, but it falls short as his stomach lurches again, feeling awful in all sorts of places.

Great news: he can’t see shit. Mostly blurry shapes and wavering colors, but never past that. It doesn’t help that he has the fattest migraine of the century, accompanied by an urge to vomit he honestly doesn’t know how he managed to fight against this long. Arahabaki, the damn scoundrel, decides to stay standstill and let him handle this one on his own. Fucking fantastic.

He had been told what poison he’s been injected with, but he can’t for the life of him remember the name right now.

And who’s to blame for all of this? You guessed it.

“Chuuya!!” Dazai claps with a higher-than-normal-pitch, which successfully sends stronger-than-usual-ringing to his ears, “How did you know the new method I was planning to try out?! And you’re offering to help me?! My, you should get poisoned more often!”

“You’re lucky I currently am, piece of shit…” God, he wanted to sound harsher than that– perhaps come up with a more creative thing to retort with, but that all gets swept away by low groans and helpless eye rolls…

Chuuya doesn’t know why he even bothers with looking out for that bastard when all he does is become a pain in the ass afterwards. Every time he tells himself he would wholly ignore his former partner the next joint mission, something like this happens which throws all of his vows to the curb:

Dazai was probably distracted, probably not, but Chuuya grabbed him aside anyways, rendering him without an ability for just a second.

And right then a needle buried in his neck.

They got their asses handed to them immediately afterwards, because of course, and the fuckers decided to add onto their frozen meat collection today of all days– thus, their predicament.

Which consists of opposite organization members seated in a freezer room against an icy wall, the mafia member certainly looking more limp and uncoordinated than the other. Chuuya doesn’t know how Dazai’s seated, but he’s 90% sure he isn’t staying still for the life of him, so guessing that would be impossible.

“Think Koyou-san will send a search party after you?” The question comes out as slyly as you’d think a Dazai-question would come out.

“This fast? No… She knows I can handle myself…” Dazai should already know this, as nothing has changed much in the last four years. Chuuya groans out, breathing coming in difficult, “I’d have to be gone for an entire week before she gets worried.”

“Hm, same with the Agency. But not that long. Just a day at most…” He hears shifting from beside him once again, overly wary of his surroundings since his sight is on hold, “So we’re stuck here until the poison symptoms wear off. Alone. Together. Great.” Dazai concludes like it wasn’t fucking obvious.

“At least you have the blessing of seeing in front of you.” Chuuya closes his eyes to stop his spinning vision, as perhaps that can help keep the migraine at bay, “Do you realize… how nerve-racking it is to stay this close to you while blind?! You might try anything…!”

“That’s right!” Dazai chirps, his enthusiasm successfully making Chuuya’s nerves prickle, “Chuuya better use his ultra-deduction-instincts if he wishes to stand a chance!”

He grimaces while thumping his head back, wanting to re-demand the other to shut up for how splitting his voice rings in his skull, but Dazai would probably take that as an opportunity to scream, so he resorts to: “God, I hate you…”

From (unfortunate) experience, and seeing how high on the awful-feeling scale this falls, Arahabaki will stay asleep for twenty more minutes -adding to the fifteen he already suffered through-, until he finally feels the need to fucking do something and starts kicking his freaky immune system to life.

His breath comes out as condensed clouds, each intake of breath colder than the last. The shitty smell of raw meat doesn’t help with the nausea, and he has half a mind to sleep all of this off, but leaving the suicidal freak alone with metal hooks all around is probably a wildly stupid idea. He’s still weighing his options-

“I’m booooored!!” Dazai suddenly whines, high pitched and grating. Chuuya jolts, opening his eyes in order to send the other a scowl out of habit.

Only various shades of brown meet his vision, swimming before him. The migraine remerges tenfold,  “Wh-”

“Chuuya, entertain me!” Dazai leans onto him, shoulder to shoulder, so roughly that the clench of his stomach tightens. Chuuya barely has the energy to push the bastard back, said bastard surely aware of that, “Be my jester! Now, now!”

“How the fuck am I supposed to do that? Hey-”

Just as Dazai straightens on his own, Chuuya feels his fedora getting snatched, followed by low chuckles and murmurs of “Disgusting hat, I’mma burn you when we’re out of here…”

If Chuuya were to sound crazy, he’d have told you that Dazai is purposely being extra obnoxious right now– ridiculously so, but four years of separation might have granted him the blessing of forgetting how annoying Dazai could truly get, thus doesn’t humor that thought…

“You have two seconds before I start calling for grantors of dark disgrace and level this whole room over your head.” He warns, and doubts this is a good idea at all (Forcing Arahabaki awake is never a good idea). But he’s seriously getting tipped over the edge and the drug rushing in his veins isn’t helping in the slightest, “Give it, now.”

Dazai stays silent for a few seconds. A few seconds too long. Catching a glimpse of his face threatens to empty out the contents in his stomach, so Chuuya just decides to close his eyes again and relish this brief moment of piece, brushing the flicker of confusion aside.

Then the grating is back, “Fiiiine…”

It’s weird how Dazai takes his already outstretched hand and places the fedora on top of it, even lingering the hold on his gloved fingers for a second before letting go. Weird, but not concerning.

“Smart choice.”  He plants his belonging back on his head, sighing lowly. The option of sleeping sounds like a dream right now– would save him the trouble of handling the two constant problems in his life at once. But nothing ever feels as good as it sounds in Chuuya’s case– sometimes his comfort comes with a heavy price, even.

Suffering through this it is, then.

“Ne, you really still can’t see?” Dazai leans onto him again– not as roughly, but certainly making Chuuya lose his balance all the same, “What about the headache? Is it getting any better? Is it? I’m bored- can you see yet? Can y-”

“No I fucking can’t, that’s why we’re still here!” Chuuya exclaims, successfully shoving him off, unable to handle Dazai’s toddler whining a second longer, “You think I wouldn’t have kicked the door down the second I regained my ability?!”

“Eh, you’re right. The air smells so bad when a dog is sharing it with me.” Dazai taunts, and must be leaning back onto the wall now, legs overly outstretched before him (probably rocking his heels back and forth) because God forbid he ever sit normally, “Too bad the door is too sturdy to budge with my kicks.”

“Cuz you’re a wuss.”

“Cuz it’s sturdy.” The other stresses, then it’s silent for a few minutes. The moment the headache begins to dissipate into a buzzing sting, rather than pounding ache, Dazai decides he should resume the torture session,

“Chuuya should cut his hair.”

That’s… so random. Even by Dazai standards. “What the he- Are you touching it?!”

Fingers tug on the longer end of his hair, brushing it, “Need scissors.”

Chuuya wishes he could recoil back in disgust, he really does, “Keep your grubby fingers to yourself, piece of shit! You know how much product I use?!” He tries to smack the hand away, never lands on it, “They’re worth your damn hands.”

Dazai blows a raspberry, and the fingers meekly abort, “My bad for trying to make a slug look a hundred times better.”

“This is neither the time nor place for it, freak.”

“Oh, so you agree to cutting it later? Consent granted!”

Chuuya springs up from the wall, “THAT’T NOT WHAT I-” At the violent lurch he receives in his abdomen, he gags mid-sentence, but thankfully doesn’t fully throw up. Or unthankfully. He isn’t sure what’s better for him at the moment. He tries to breathe through the acid in his throat, “Fuck…”

He hears shifting from beside him, peeking to deduce Dazai hugging his knees now– rocking back and forth? He closes his eyes again, wishing time wasn’t a slow bitch at the moment. One arm presses to his abdomen, right where it’s angry and upset, the other stays numb on the floor beside him. Several clouds form in front of his lips, with him somehow sweating midst the freezing room, the water cooling on his burning skin terrifyingly fast. Perhaps a minute more and they’d turn solid.

“Can your trusty dusty chaos God wake up any faster?” Oh, right. Dazai isn’t dead yet, so peace for him isn’t an option, “Does turning him off and on again works?”

Chuuya rigids once something that feels like ice pokes his cheek,

“Fucking hell, when did you find an ice cube?” He uncoordinatedly smacks the thing away, which turns out to be a hand. Huh. “You already know the answer to that, bastard. Why are you even trying?”

“Worth it…” He giggles, something breathy about it, off. Chuuya pauses, sharpening his hearing instantly, because anything off regarding Dazai is always a bad sign, and his sense about this never lies. Call it a sixth sense, if you will. “Besides, pestering Chuuya when he’s weak is fun! You think I won’t take my chances? You really don’t know me at all!”

At that his concentrated frown dissipates, immediately replaced by one of assessment.

“Wait a second…” He keeps his head hanged and eyes closed, but his tone rumbles all the same, “What the fuck is wrong with you?”

“Whatever you mean, sluggy poo?”

Chuuya doesn’t fall for the bait, sharpening his hearing even more, “I thought you were being annoying just for the sake of it, but now you’re outright telling me you’re being annoying?” He lifts his head to look at the direction of the other, sending a glare with closed eyes, “You’re trying to hide something. Out with it.”

“Pfff, paranoid much, aren’t we?”

And just like that, Chuuya catches it.

The shivers in the other’s breathing, that automatically translate to shudders in his speech, are so subdued, desperately trying to stay hidden from him, trying to get concealed behind loud pitches and provoking fronts.

It’s a testament to how far gone his mind is in order for that to escape him.

“You’re-” Without asking for verbal confirmation that he wouldn’t get, Chuuya hurriedly takes off his gloves, “Gimme that- where is it?” He blindly wanders till he finds a bandaged wrist and grasps it. The stiffen of the other gets ignored as his hands travel to the only bare parts in Dazai’s body– his fingers and face. The fingers are frigid to the point where he can’t hold them for more than a few seconds, while the moment he clumsily smacks the face in order to cup it with both hands, it’s like all his body heat rushes to it– the skin cold, hungry and craving any kind of warmth, “What the hell- you’re fucking freezing!”

“Wow, what an astute observation, Chuuya.” He hears the roll of the other’s eyes, as Dazai’s quivering fingers hold onto both of Chuuya’s wrists, trying to push them away from his face but not putting that much effort into it, “It’s not like we’re literally in a freezer room.”

“No- this isn’t normal.” Chuuya declares, squeezing the cheeks in. How come cold skin can burn so much? “We’ve only been here for like…”

“Twenty minutes?”

“Exactly. Doesn’t it take about… way longer for hypothermia to kick in?”

“That’s you! You’re the abnormal one!” Dazai exclaims, sounding more genuine than he has been since they’ve been thrown in here. Scratch that– since he’d known him, “You think all people come with a built-in heater? I thought you realized that that’s not the case during your mission in Siberia. And you call me a fish.”

Chuuya pauses promptly. Oh, right. Sometimes he forgets that he isn’t the only one who occasionally wakes up to screams coming from within, or feels unprecedented urge to unleash chaos in stressful situations, or even runs way warmer than others. These are constants in his life. Constants he has to remind himself that no other person experiences…

And even if Arahabaki is asleep, the remnants of his abnormally high temperature is still very much intact. Chuuya doesn’t feel much past the chills of the poison itself, other than that? Coolness at best at his extremists. He’d need to stay here thirty minutes longer for the real frigidness to kick in…

Though Chuuya is equally aware that while his core temperature is abnormally high, Dazai’s core temperature is, funnily enough, abnormally low. Leave him out in the snow for a few minutes and you’d get a hypothermic mackerel popsicle in no time.

Chuuya grimaces. Stupid, stupid.

How could he forget that? His mind defends him, tells him it must have been the poison, that it must have played a part in brushing that fact aside. Chuuya wants to curse it out. He’s retained many random facts about Dazai by heart– so, so many, some even entirely useless; but when it comes to important stuff he somehow has to be reminded of them the hard way. What is wrong with him?

Well, time to make up for that. Harshly, because the bastard deserves it.

“I’m perfectly normal, thank you very much.” He lies through his teeth, but his voice is almost soft, fingers still intact with the skin cosplaying an ice wall, “You’re the one with a terrible immune system that is eager to kill you at the first given chance.”

Dazai chuckles, breathily once again. Shakily, the accurate word for it. “Dying by hypothermia i-isn’t too bad, actually!”

“Just- fucking drop it, will you? You don’t need to do that shit.” Once again he grits out softer than intended, finally cutting the contact. If he had his eyes working, he’d have seen the way Dazai chases the hands for a second before collecting himself and drawing back, “Come closer before I snatch you by the hair.”

“Chuuya wouldn’t have the energy to, anyway…” Dazai finally sounds as slurred and exhausted as he should, and Chuuya’s thankful he can even move– numbness probably there but hasn’t fully settled in.

“You remember our code?”

“Code white? O-Of course I do. Have many fond memories with it.” He hears the rustle of fabric, which means that Dazai is taking off his coat. Chuuya does the same, if a little slower.

“Stage?”

“Mild.”

Chuuya exhales, “Thank fuck, I wasn’t looking forward to sharing body heat with you properly.”

There is a pause, then, “…Severe, then.” He sees the smirk in the Dazai’s face without the need to see at all.

“That so? I’ll bash your head against that metal wall, then.” He knocks behind him twice, just as he senses Dazai drawing near, “Seems like it would do the trick nicely.”  

“No thanks, I-I change my mind. I’d like the mild-stage treatment.”

“Just as I thought.”

Chuuya suddenly feels a weight on his lap, and acts. He takes both of their coats and wraps them with it as make-shift blankets, just as Dazai gets comfortably seated, ear over Chuuya’s heart, knees tucked close. The redhead presses his lips on the hair beneath him before he can help it, feeling the frost that has settled there. One arm supports the taller’s shoulder and back, while the other wraps around Dazai’s midsection, keeping him caged in.

Now without the need to hide anything, Dazai’s shivers turn to trembles, rocking him to his core and rocking Chuuya along with it. The brunette wraps the coats tighter around himself, pulse audibly rapid and panicking, trying to compensate the body for the heat it lost apace.

Chuuya’s migraine begins dissipating a little, and he dares open his eyes, to find the variety of colors taking the form of actual shapes, now. He relaxes, just as he feels Dazai do the same– their positioning, strange as it may come for them, somehow feeling utterly natural…

“Gosh, I almost forgot your stupid tendency to never speak up in situations like this.” The mafioso chastises midst the curls, “What? Were you trying to make up for the fact that I got drugged cuz of you?” Chuuya is sure there might be a number of other reasons, like the fact that Dazai could have simply been waiting to die like that– to pass out from the cold and never feel it when Chuuya tries to wake him up again.

But Dazai’s silence grants him an abundance of answers, one of them that confirms his verbal question, and he tskes in displeasure.

“Goody-two-shoes act that makes me sick...” He rasps, his upset stomach comforted with the added pressure to it.

Dazai huffs, finding the energy to nuzzle his cheek to Chuuya’s chest exactly like a freaking cat, “My personal heater…”

At how weirdly endearing that sounds, Chuuya bristles, “I’m not your fucking-”

“Along with being my dog? Too many jobs for your brain to handle, Chibi…!” Dazai’s slurred speech sounds funny, but the words themselves cause the shorter to growl, “You’ll overwork yourself!”

“Your neck is in a perfect position to get snapped. Watch your words.”

“Hm…” Dazai takes the threat in stride, one of his hands that was lost under the blanket coming up to hold onto Chuuya’s shoulder, “The air still smells bad, by the way.”

“Then I’ll keep you trapped in it for longer.” Chuuya counters, sharing his former partner’s frigidness without mind or care. He meekly feels the forehead concealed under brown bangs, to find it minutely warmer than before. Good, great.

“How much longer are we staying here again…?” Dazai asks.

Chuuya blinks, cozy, “Not much. I can see better now.”

“Mm, then all your strength will be back in ten minutes at most…”

“Of course you still memorize the exact cooldown duration of my ability.” Chuuya would have rolled his eyes if it weren’t for his splitting headache, “Why am I not surprised?”

Dazai keeps quiet, head hanging as he mumbles, “Chuuya’s the one with a bad memory…”

The redhead pauses, unable to deny the present truth before him, “Maybe…” He mumbles back, then huffs, “But at least you’re a thorn in my side that annoyingly reminds me of the kind of stuff I eagerly want forgotten…”

“If it’ll make Chuuya miserable,” Dazai tilts his head up. Chuuya sees the smile so clear, bright and giddy. Blurry at the edges but real. “I’ll always be a thorn in his side that will always keep annoyingly reminding him…”

Something leaps in his heart at the connotation embedded in these words, of his former partner vowing to never leave again, to forever be a part of the mafioso’s life despite what life has done them, despite the circumstances. And Chuuya himself vows to never forget how such a simple word almost sent him in a haze of emotions so deep and human. The word always.

His hold tightens, and he hides his face before mumbling, “Of course it will make me miserable, bastard…”

~~~~

Hc for context: I’m a ‘Chuuya has amnesia as a trauma response’ believer. Like yeah he remembers some details regarding missions but otherwise blocks out anything his mind deems too stressful to deal with. “Your mission in Siberia” Actually had most of his subordinates die because they stayed for the cold too long. :’) Obviously, some missions with Dazai are in that chunk as well, along with the entirety of Stormbringer cuz I said so jnrgjrn.

HOPE YOU ENJOYED!! This wasn’t my best work so forgive me, Essie! I’ll try my best to edit and tweak some things in here when I have the energy. <33

[j-a-n-e--d-o-e]

So ppl apparently really liked my take on Sevika as the Kingmaker.

Now, the logical thing to do would be to quit whilst I'm ahead, especially as I have work tomorrow and should be sleeping. So obviously, I'm going to shit talk Heimerdinger instead.

I'm seeing alot of people arguing on tiktok over how the little bastard has managed to wiggle his way out of any kind of accountability for his involvement in the state of Zaun and personally I think there isn't 1 reason but multiple(these reasons tend to intertwine and are a bit messy) :

1st is that the fucker is adorable.

Like I despise him but would 100% hug/cuddle him with zero regrets. There is a certain amount of disconnect between how he looks and how we expect someone who has been implicated in such horrors.

It's like pretty privilege but worse because with pretty privileges most ppl just try to excuse what they did, Fluffy privilege has you doubting your own mind and if this adorable little munchkin truly committed unspeakable horrors upon the working class in the name of progress.

2nd, he plays very well into the image of a puppet king.

There were times when I questioned whether Heimerdinger actually had any power towards the beginning of season 1 because it seems like he has no clue what was going on behind the scenes or even on the stage. It felt like he was kept as a member of the council to be a distraction or mask.

Obviously, this isn't the case, but you dont rule for centuries uncontested without creating a mask or persona that appeals to the public. Heimerdinger may have lost his grip on the council, but I suspect that was a result of hextech and years of political manoeuvring from Mel - an outsider who could look at him objectively and see what he was. Heimerdinger was used to ppl bowing to his whims. We see this in how he expects people to just do what he says and is genuinely surprised when they don't.

3rd, how many people outside of piltover know he is or was a council member? And how many citizens of Piltover don't just look at him and see the kindly professor and not the skilled politician?

Like Zaun has no schools and rarely interacts with topside. Do they know the councillors exist? Obviously. Could they pick them out from a crowd or name them? I doubt it. Meanwhile, most of Piltover was probably taught by Heimerdinger at some point. That's their fav teacher, not a powerful scary council member who could throw you in jail without trial.

4th, for all his regrets, "Heimerdinger doesn't act very apologetic or guilty. He just brushes over it but subtly.

He manoeuvres the conversation around his own involvement, either ignoring it completely or diminishing it to seem negligible. He is actively distancing himself from the situation as a perpetrator and repositioning himself as someone already redeemed.

5th reason isn't as general as the others but more Ekko centric. The dude was at an incredible low point and emotional vulnerable when they met. Not to mention injured.

Do I think Heimerdinger arranged the situation or planned it? No. Do i think Heimerdinger took advantage to ingratiate himself with someone from Zaun who's politics were more palatable to him and clearly held some level of influence whilst still being young enough for Heimerdinger to guide? ABSOFUCKINGLUTELY.

Overall, Heimerdinger gives me Iroh and Dumbledore vibes and I feel like that says enough about the kind of man he is

[reapers-lover]

Jareth sfw alphabet 

○ Jareth SFW alphabet ○

Jareth X Fem!Reader

Template by @the-coldest-goodbye

A~ Affection.  How affectionate are they?  How do they show affection? 

Jareth is very clingy. He is a clingy mother fucker. But I feel like he might need time to warm up to you enough to be that clingy. He will cuddle you or I could even see him just praising you.

B~ Best friend (What would they be like as a best friend? How would the friendship start?)

I feel like he would be a really good best friend. very kind and willing to listen to you vent. But I feel like once you both start to form a connection he might start falling for you. And if he does he will fall fast 

C~ Cuddles (Do they like to cuddle? How would they cuddle?)

This man would love to cuddle you. He loves nothing more than to lay down next to you and just hold you in his arms. He loves being that close to you. Again I just think it might take some time for him to be ready to do that

D~ Domestic (Do they want to settle down? How are they at cooking and cleaning?)

Jareth would be willing to settle down and would love to start a family with you. Cooking and cleaning however are not his strong suits. He has had goblins to do just for him for a very long time. But I think he would love to sit there and bake or cook with you. And if there's flour ever being used most of it will end up everywhere but where it should be.

E~ Ending (If they had to break up with their partner, how would they do it?)

I don't think Jareth would be the one to break up with someone as he is a very devoted partner. But if he did he would be calm while explaining it and gently say how he doesn't want to be with you anymore. He will be there to comfort you and will stay close with you just not in the sense of lovers

F~ Fiance(e) (How do they feel about commitment? How quick would they want to get married?)

If he had the choice he would have got down on one knee the first time he laid eyes on you. Once you decide to stay with him he sees that as you already accepting it and quickly considers you his queen. But he will make it official soon enough and throw a huge celebration for yours and his engagement. 

G~ Gentle (How gentle are they, both physically and emotionally?)

Jareth would be very gentle with you physically. But I feel as though he would have trouble being gentle emotionally. He has been stuck as the goblin king for centuries with little human interaction. So I think he would have a hard time being gentle with certain things and would be more blunt about things that should be said lightly.

H~ Hugs (Do they like hugs? How often do they do it? What are their hugs like?)

Jareth again loves hugs. Anything that means he gets to touch you and be next to you he loves it. He comes up behind you and hugs you all the time. His hugs would be very lovely. Warm and consuming to the point you probably wouldn't ever want to let go.

I~ I love you (How fast do they say the L-word?)

This man falls quickly so he probably would have wanted to say it the second he saw you. But I feel as though he would try and control himself to wait at least another day or two to see how things might turn out. But trust me he would and could have said it at the very beginning.

J~ Jealousy (How jealous do they get? What do they do when they're jealous?)

Jareth gets very very jealous sometimes. He doesn't want to lose you so when he sees you talking with someone else or interacting with someone he may just lose his shit. But on the outside he can control it fairly well as he doesn't want to upset you. But if it gets to much he will storm out of the room in all his glittery glory to regain your attention.

K~ Kisses (What are their kisses like? Where do they like to kiss you? Where do they like to be kissed?)

He is a very good kisser for someone who again has Been pretty much alone for centuries.  He would probably kiss you anywhere but his favorites would probably be your head, your hand, your thighs,And of course your lips.

L~ Little ones (How are they around children?)

Jareth is fairly experienced with the care of children. As that's kind of his job. He would definitely be able to solve a crying baby problem. But in the case of diapers or cleaning up messes he usually gets the goblins to help.

M~ Morning (How are mornings spent with them?)

Unless he has some work that needs to get done he will lay in bed and cuddle with you for as long as he can. On days like that you also usually get ready together and if time allows you'll both have breakfast together too.

N~ Night (How are nights spent with them?)

As long as no one is trying to run, the labyrinth nights are spent right next to him falling asleep in his arms. However sometimes he will take you stargazing which is something he enjoys a lot. On nights he is working you will usually wait for him to be done or go and rest with him in his throne room.

O~ Open (When would they start revealing things about themselves? Do they say everything all at once or wait a while to reveal things slowly?)

While he would rush a lot of different things I feel like he would wait for this one. He really wouldn't reveal much about him and his past as he is more of a listener than a talker. So getting him to open up will absolutely take some time.

P~ Patience (How easily angered are they?)

Jareth tries not to lose his temper with you but he still does sometimes. Usually when he is overwhelmed or jealous. He doest like losing his temper with you though so he will quickly come and apologize and make sure you're ok.

Q~ Quizzes (How much would they remember about you? Do they remember every little detail you mention in passing, or do they kind of forget everything?)

He would remember a lot of what you say. Maybe not all of it. But he will remember good or bad. He also tends to pick up on your tendencies. He will notice what you do when you are upset or happy and will secretly keep that as a way to help you.

R~ Remember (What is their favorite moment in your relationship?)

His favorite memory is probably waking up next to you for the first time. Being able to see your calm face as you sleep. He just kind of sat there and watched you. And to this day it's his favorite memory of you.

S~ Security (How protective are they? How would they protect you? How would they like to be protected?)

Jareth is very protective. It ties in a lot with his Jealousy. He tends to be very protective because he doesn't want to lose you. He doesn't want to see you hurt.. so if something is going on He will make sure you are safely at his side and away from any danger.

T~ Try (How much effort would they put into dates, anniversaries, gifts, everyday tasks?)

He puts in a lot of effort. Man would give you the world if he could. He loves getting you little gifts like jewelry or clothes. But he also tends to just pick things up too. He has given you hand picked flowers and shiny rocks that make him think of you.

U~ Ugly (What would be some bad habits of theirs?)

He tends to lose his temper a lot and I think that's probably his worst habit but he might have a problem with chewing his nails or leaving things untidy.

V~ Vanity (How concerned are they with their looks?)

He cares about looking presentable incase of company. And he definitely has a soft spot for fashion which you enjoy a lot.

W~ Whole (Would they feel incomplete without you?)

Absolutely. You mean everything to him. if he lost you he wouldn't know what to himself. himself. You're his other half, his soulmate if you will. And he can't even stand the thought of losing you.

X~ Xtra (A random headcanon for them.)

If you are ever feeling insecure or upset he will be right there to cheer you up in a heartbeat. He loves you and hates to see you so sad and hurting.

Y~ Yuck (What are some things they wouldn't like, either in general or in a partner?)

He doesn't like people who aren't very hygienic. I feel that since he is a king he wants to be presentable and that goes with hygiene too. If it's a thing that you can't help then he will try his best to help you during tough times so you don't form bad habits and to keep you healthy.

Z~ Zzz (What is a sleep habits of theirs?)

Cuddling up to you. Before you came he had trouble sleeping and rarely got enough sleep at night. But after you arrived he started getting more sleep and feels very safe at night knowing you are always there.

[the-6th-harbringer]

PLEASE READ

Hey. So. It's been a. while.

trigger warning: referenced suicide

So, if you haven't noticed, I literally evaporated for two weeks straight without any clarification on why or sign of actually being alive, unlike my last two week disappearance. Unfortunately, this unexpected evaporation does not come with a big "ooh more trauma more lore and angst for scara" thing.

This just happens to be my goodbye post.

I know, it's weird and kind of rude for me to dip for two weeks and then reappear like "hey fuckers im QUITTING hAHaA". Buuuut not only was my dad being annoying and hogging my laptop, I also barely have had time to myself for the past weeks. New family members have been introduced into my life, so now I have double the amount of little siblings to look after. (from 3 to 6. dont ask "how" thats a personal thing). juggling that with school, social stuff, fucking exams which are coming up in 3 months of my gOD, and other even more personal demons that I've been battling, its been. a lot.

SO, to make sure I do not pull the same move as Scaramouche did on the last day of his sakurarealm torture(iykyk), I'm taking a leave from tumblr. Don't know how long I'll be gone, don't know if I'll ever be back, but I didn't just wanna quit without at least telling you guys so you don't think I've been murdered or something.

On a more serious note, thank you all for all of the support and love you've given Scara and all my other blogs. While some of you are a handful, the majority of you are actually the sweetest and silliest community of people I've ever known. I hope you all have excellent lives.

Now, as for what happens to Scara, we're shoving him in another coma. which is entirely at the mercy of Wanderer's mod, because they're my friend outside of tumblr too and i trust that they'll use this as a major angst moment. Put an F for Cyrille and Scara guys

NOW: a few honorable mentions and thank yous:

@wandering-hat-guy : im not writing a goodbye type thing for you because i will literally talk to you tomorrow, but thank you for being an awesome brother-sibling figure. you are the wanderer to my scara :]

@an-active-rabbit : Thank you for being an extremely fun person to rp with. The puppets and the heart is a rp that wont leave my mind for a while yet. Many hugs for you! And I wont be forgetting Mikaven anytime soon >:3

@cyrille-leclair-de-fontaine : AUGH budddyyy im sorry to do this to you. But thank you for creating Cyrille in the first place. Cyscara my beloveds, they will always hold a place in my heart. Maybe one day they'll actually get somewhere. Im also willing to be your friend outside of tumblr if you wish because you're cool >:D

@dishonxsty : For also being a goofy little goober. My favorite rp with you was definitely the ouppy's and scara, and also kudos to you for making like 17 bajillion blogs and being able to manage them all at once somehow like???? go king go

Annnd @monsieur-neuvillette , who seems random because I havent rped with them in literally a century, but thank you for being the one to indirectly help me get over my fears of starting a rp blog AND being the inspo for me to start rping on tumblr in the first place. hugs for you too

Well, alls said that's been said, so I think I'll just end it off here, because it's been like 10 minutes since I started typing this and I am eepy.

Goodbye everyone except wandermod, and thank you for sticking with me through Scara's really out of pocket journey.

(PS: Rest in peace @the-tainted-blossom . I miss you everyday.)

[proudfreakmetarusonikku]

whoops wrote some stuff for “c!benchtrio in a sleepy 80s town where every myth is real and no one is normal” au. yes the cabinet is polybius. of course it is.

TW: period typical ableism, references to period typical homophobia, mind control, referenced kidnapping.

tommy loved saturday.

one, it meant he was off school. school was a fucking hell system designed to tear out the individuality of kids and turn them into little worker drones- at least, that was what wil reckoned, and wil was probably the smartest person in town by account of haunting the shit out of everyone over the past few centuries, so tommy believed him. besides, he struggled to sit still for long enough to write, and tubbo couldn’t read the words, so they spent most of their time staring at each other in detention anyway.

but that wasn’t the main reason. the two of them skived off school half the time, though in their defence it’s kind of hard to go when you’ve got seven government conspiracies, three independent mad scientists, several different types of aliens, at least one fae court, and whatever the fuck sam was on your tail 24/7. honestly, being kidnapped by half of them was probably better than an english lesson where the teachers shouted at him for writing in the proper british way he was taught instead of suddenly switching to the dumb american shitty way. his organs might have been rearranged last time he'd gotten abducted by a flying saucer, but at least that meant he looked cool on x-rays.

no, the real reason saturday was great was that saturday was arcade day.

if tommy wasn’t religious, he'd call the local arcade his church, but that felt disrespectful to Her Lady Prime (though, considering the amount of gods he'd met in sleepy l'manberg he was convinced that there was probably enough gods in oregon every video arcade had one). still, he approached the day phil would drop off him and tubbo at the doors for a whole day with reverence, and as the man who was not his father (he actually wanted him) dropped them off, he handed them enough coins for an extra with a wink.

that was another reason tommy loved saturday. school didn’t really accept local cryptids, unfortunately, but with a mask, hat, and a long enough skirt, ranboo could blend in as a weirdo teenager instead of a local nightmare. besides, he liked the flashing lights.

ranboo was in first, as always, and rushed tommy and tubbo into a big, big hug the second they entered the doors. he knew when phil dropped them off, and had started waiting to ambush them.

“ugh, gross, man,” tommy said, not sounding annoyed at all. “we're twelve now. too old for little kid cuddles.”

“why?” ranboo’s voice had a vibration to it like an insect. it made tommy feel comforted.

“because you get beat up if you're weird, y’know!” tommy flushed. “i don’t wanna get beat up, fucker.”

tubbo raised an eyebrow. “tommy, have you met a normal person in this town?”

“well, no-“

“there. look, are we going to play some pac-man or not?”

“ugh, no!” tommy said, giggling as he pushed the other boys away. “pac-man is so uncool. now, frogger? that, man, is truly radical.”

ranboo blinked. “what’s a radical?”

“it’s just one of tommy's weird big kid terms, boo.” tubbo said, ribbing ranboo and grinning at the disgusted face tommy made. tommy didn’t have any issues with, y’know, those sort of people. people who got mad at boys kissing boys were stupid. the issue was that tubbo was far too young to be flirting with anyone. that stuff was gross. “he just wants to be cool, y’know. that’s why he’s got that stupid mullet.”

“mullets are so cool, fuck you,” tommy said, sticking out his tongue in a not at all childish way. “anyway, now are you two gonna go all K-I-S-S-I-N-G, or will you- oh my Prime, what the fuck is that?”

every machine in the building was empty of players. all except one, a blank looking cabinet, which had a line that looked a million billion miles long.

ranboo raised an eyebrow. “good game, i guess?”

“no game is that good. not even frogger.” tommy shook his head. “that’s like… remember when that fucking weird government dude had all those pills and shit? that made you all fuzzy and do what they say?”

tubbo gasped. “you can’t say that, tom! you know he has memory issues. stop being a dick.”

“fine! sorry.” tommy threw his hands up in frustration. “but anyway, you see that blank fucking stare on their face? well, most of there’s, purpled seems fine but he's got the whole being not human thing going. that’s the look ranboo had when that dream fucker gave him the pills. that’s mind control, innit?”

“don’t remind me of dream,” ranboo said, growling.

“oh, yeah. sorry man.”

“anyway… do you think that might be involved? if it’s to do with governments… i'd rather not get cut up by a lab, thank you. we need to stop it.”

“chill out, ranboo, being cut up isn’t even that bad if they give you proper painkillers and shit,” tommy said, ignoring the weird stares ranboo gave him because of that. “besides, y’know i'll never say no to uncovering some secret truth. it’s almost as fun as frogger. tubbo?” tommy paused, turning to his other best friend. “uh, tubbo?”

there was a far away, dreamy look in tubbo’s eyes. not those of brainwashing, but desire. “i want to take that thing apart,” tubbo said, sounding overjoyed. “i need it. i need that beauty so bad.”

well. it was better than the barrels of radioactive material he'd seen tubbo carry into the shed. tommy couldn’t deny that. “then, let’s go figure shit out, then.”

[writingwordsgayly]

The world freezes around me, centuries of battle forged experience take over as I make my way across the Warfield, it seems the general of the opposing army has focused on our magic casters, we had some of our shields standing vigil, but we've faced this general fucker before, he must have anticipated our tactics. I try to take some of the heat from the others as I barrel through the crowd, swinging randomly and screaming as I jump and shove as needed, I'm not the only one that has noticed the general, I hear the god of our clerics named invoked, they appear between the general and the wounded mages, shield and sword raised, on all of my years battling beside godly folk, I've never seen one to determined to take hits for others. They stand shield high and a mean glare aimed at the general. they must be close to spent by now with all of the invocations I have heard echoing. but they still block the hit and swing their holy weapon, the sound of a spell the only reason I know to avert my gaze when a blinding light bursts from them. the mages back up once the generals swings become untargeted, when he blinks his eyes clear he sees only our cleric, I finally get into reach and I swing at the general, I almost miss but I pivot just in time and make contact.

We stand as a group after the battle, helping our employer account for the lost of both sides, per our contract, the cleric look like a young one, holding their gods holy symbol, trying to avert their eyes from the sight of another worshiper of the the god that helped us win this battle, I quickly scribble down the name I find on their gear, and gently cover their face. Steering the cleric towards a less godly looking bunch, and praying for Fate to be kind to this young adventurer. I've watched far too many clerics shatter under their faith. This kid has a spark, I hope their talent can grow into the wild fire I saw in their eyes facing off against a very experienced general, I've been fighting him for centuries, different battles and different settings, but the same cruel man finds his way into them. And they didn't waver.

"there must have been another way" they say quietly to the cliff edge in front of us, we just finished setting up our camp and our crew mingles with the soldiers below, enjoying the victory celebration, they've given up getting me involved, the hundredth is the last fun party. And our cleric seems to not drink, though I do notice a flask in their hand as stare at the setting sun.

"I know it sounds idealistic and childish, but they didn't have to die, for a cause so simple as removing a dictator? The futures lost on that battlefield.... Please tell me wars don't always end like this" I also watch the falling sun, pretending not to hear the break in their voice or the quiet sniffles. I take a swig from my flask, it was from an old friend. A cleric who had the same crisis of faith once they see the first glimpse at the cruel sides of the gods.

" godly folk are always idealistic kid, it's in your nature, as for being childish, well in century you'll be less childish but only time can do that for you, time spent amongst the people of our world, where books and vows don't dictate actions...."

I slide my cloth toward them for their tears as I continue, taking another swig "every soul that stepped foot in this battle knew the terms, and as much as you wish you could change it, most of them would stand by their convictions, no matter the cost. If I had died out there I would have. The young cleric hums next to me, adult even by Elven standard, but when you enter your 7th century everyone seems Young in comparison.

"so they do all end like this? With revelry to hide the mourning?" They are sitting scrunched up hugging themselves, their voice is more broken then before, the next words might not help,

"listen kid, this crew does an amazing job at limiting casualties, with smooth talking and rope. But, this-" I wave my hand towards the battlefield and the fresh graves "this can't always be avoided, not for lack of trying, and It's not every war, the white flags exist for a reason, but I'd be lying if I said it wasn't most of them" their breath catches and they pull closer into themselves, I take another swig, this conversation is never easy, but it's important, and Ive had time to refine it

"but, as easy as it is to get stuck on that" I gesture again to the graves " its important to also think about them" I gesture now to the party below "their families, their friends, *their futures* because that is what we were fighting here for. for *them*" they nodding, obviously thinking about what I said.

"what were you planning on me having this breakdown?" It's joking, but curious, it probably seems like I wrote a script, but ive just memorized the right words. I laugh slightly.

"I've had this conversation more times than I can count in different ways, I had my first of them in my first century, and while everyone is different, I understand the cause very well, and the fear, the uncertainty of your path, and I can't answer that for you, all I can do is offer you a shoulder, an ear, and a promise to keep you from ending up like me" I take a deep swig, hammering my point home. I keep the part of it being with my reflection in the ocean. And the part about me throwing my holy symbol to the fish, revoking my devotion, the ever absent presence of my god. Luckily this kid worships another, because for all of my regrets, that is not one of them

[the-ultimate-pie-family]

Bloods control part 2

"Blood was a growing vampire pony with uncontrollable power one chaos magic and the other the holy lord power he wasn’t expecting to be alive after his terrible accident but he was given a second chance at his life but he needed to kill a mare before she kills his only daughter"

Blood: "he was sharpening his weapons, preparing to give his soon to be ex-wife torture of her life," hurt my daughter again....... "his chaos rage was getting unstable, but god was keeping it in control, but god knew she couldn't hang on to it for long she had to think how to control it and soon"

God: *she used ur mind power to contact bloods big sister luna without blood knowing*

"Blood got done and gathered his weapons in his bag, then flies to the hut where his daughter and his dead ex-wife is at, but when he got there, he sensed something horrible his chaos rage grew more uncontrollable till his big sister luna touched his head"

Luna: Brother, im here. u ready?

Blood: Thank u, sis. "He ripped off the door and half of the doorway to the side" FLUTTERSHY!!!!!!

"Fluttershy was rocking in her comfortably rocking chair petting something"

Blood: where my daughter u bitch give me my daughter

Fluttershy: "she tossed the head of his daughter to blood." There she is, my love, hahaha

"Blood chaos rage started to spark around his launching god out of his body. luna was shocked seeing the holy lord in front of her"

Luna: blood r u ok?..........

Fluttershy: "she lunged at blood with a book smacking him with it." Come on, honey, fight back, fight back," i said. "She kept hitting blood with the book till he was dead"

"Blood stabbed fluttershy in her stomach, but she hit him one last time before jumping off his"

Fluttershy: very good honey, come at me

Blood: "his chaos, magic healed blood instantly," ur going to down. "His form changed to a draconequus"

"Luna was shocked seeing her brother in his true form"

Luna: god, wake up plz shit.....

Fluttershy: very good honey, bring it on

"Blood knew he didn't have long to kill fluttershy, but his chaos magic was keeping him alive for long?, so he didn't hesitate on attacking fluttershy blood pulled out a clever he called berry stabbing fluttershy fluttershy screamed in pain but she decked blood breaking his nose knocking a couple of his teeth out blood kept stabbing fluttershy chopping off her left arm she blast him with"

Fluttershy: ahhhhh "she cried in pain" u mother fucker!!!!!!!

"Blood then carved butchershy on fluttershy's chest, branding her of her new name, but luna tried to stop blood, but he kicked luna to the side blood, then slit butchershy throat drinking all her blood leaving nothing but a bloodless host"

Butchershy: I'll be back for u, my lovely......... "she died cursing blood for centuries"

"Blood howled loudly unable to control his chaos magic and change back, so he started to hunt for the innocent and taking their life force and blood but he was greeted by his sister nightmare moon"

Nightmare moon: "she was holding the forbidden god solid gold dagger she didn't want to kill blood, but she knew he had already taken so many lives already, so she vanished quickly tackling blood to the ground" forgive me brother we'll meet again in a thousand years...... stay strong and kill my sister, promise me that

"Blood was trying to break his sisters grip, but Nightmare Moon squeezed blood harder as a hug she cried, knowing she'll have to kill her brother"

Nightmare moon: im sorry it had to be like this brother. "She kicked blood to the ground, pinning him to the growl." No matter wat brother keep ur heart open never closed

"Nightmare moon cut a big golden scar on bloods throat blood bleed out dieing till god came and entered blood body saying this to luna"

God: I'll keep him safe, mistress

Nightmare moon: i know, "she cried." Now hurry get blood home, my sister is coming soon

God: Yes, mistress "god teleported blood in his bed"

Celestia: Hello, Nightmare moon......

Nightmare Moon: Day breaker "she smirked laughing ranning"

Celestia: "she teleported in front of Nightmare Moon, launching her to the moon as banishment for a thousand years" im sorry, sister.........

[subbypeterparker]

Cause This is Thriller

Peter Parker x fem!reader

not proofread.

Summary: You and Peter go to a Halloween party, but your halloween costume distracts Peter too much, and you leave to have your own little party with him

Warnings: sexy times. enjoy, hoes!

Word count: 1.5k

A/N: Happy Halloween guys!!!!

"Alright, no peeking."

Peter is currently sitting on your shared bed, covering his eyes with his hands. It's Halloween Eve, and you've both been getting ready to got a party you've been invited to. For the occasion, you bought a very short dress, and decided to surprise your boyfriend by having him cover his eyes.

Looking at yourself in the mirror, you perfect your lipstick, and leave the bathroom.

"Alright, open your eyes. He opens them, and the sight makes his eyes widen. You're wearing a short black dress with a low neckline that shows off your tits, with a little black witch hat, and knee high black platform boots.

"So, what do you think?" you do a little flourish with your hand as he laughs and walks towards you.

"I think you look...sexy," he says as he grips your hips lightly.

"Why thank you Mr Parker," you plant a kiss on the tip of his nose, "You look amazing right now."

"Oh, in this old thing?" Cocky motherfucker. Adorable, but cocky.

He's in a black suit and white shirt that perfectly frames his body. His shirt is unbuttoned a bit, and his tie is a little loose. His usually messy hair is even more messy.

He looks like he just had sex.

Which he so will after the party, but that's beside the point.

"Shall we leave, Mr Parker?"

"Yes we shall, Mrs Parker."

"Hmm, I like the sound of that," you both have big smiles as you kiss each other.

"Alright, let's go!" You grab your bag, slap his ass, and open the door to leave.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

The party was...loud. Leave it to Flash Thompson to throw the loudest party of the century.

"Well, I guess it's safe to say the fucker hasn't changed much since high school," you laugh with MJ.

"Yep, he's still a pain in the ass."

"Mmmm, don't look behind you, but there's a girl who's been checking you out for the past half hour," you say between taking sips of your beer.

She turns around immediately. "MJ!"

"Hey, she's cute. I'm...gonna go talk to her. Bye!" She grabs her beer from the counter beside her, and walks away.

Smiling to yourself, you take a sip from your drink, and begin dancing along with the music. You make eye contact with Flash, who's dancing with a very hot girl. He flashes you a thumbs up, and a hug smile. Despite how annoying he is, you've gotta admit it's nice seeing a familiar face. No matter how stupid it is.

A body comes up behind you, and you don't even have to turn around to know it's your boyfriend. You start grinding on him lightly, only to find that he's already hard. You turn around to look him in the eyes.

"Hi," he says.

"Hi, lover," you kiss his cheek.

"Can we go?" His voice is shaky, and he's trying to discretely palm himself through his pants.

"I kind of want to stay for a few more minutes. Is that okay?"

"Please Y/n? I'm so hard," you kiss his lips gently to shut him up.

"I think you can stay here for a little bit."

He groans in annoyance, but you're already pulling him towards Betty and her new boyfriend.

While talking to the new happy couple, Peter stands behind you. At first you think nothing of it, until you feel his hips moving against you.

This fucking boy.

He's dry humping you in a room full of people. Well, two can play at that game. You move your ass against him, grinding against his bulge. He lets out a moan, and tries to stifle it with a cough.

Betty and her boyfriend give the both of you strange looks. Now you need to get out of here. You make up some bullshit excuse about you and Peter needing to leave the party early, and grab his hand to lead him out the front door.

Because it's Halloween in New York, there's not many taxis around, and the both of you don't want to wait for one.

Lucky for the both of you however. Flash's house isn't far from your shared apartment. You both start walking there as fast as you can in your heels. It's freezing, so Peter gives you his jacket.

After a very uncomfortable elevator ride with an old couple who noticed Peter's boner, you were standing in front of your door, trying to unlock it as fast as possible.

Once inside, Peter is on you. He pushes his jacket off your shoulders, and kisses. you roughly. You work on unbuttoning his shirt, while he takes off his shoes. After some minor struggling, you remove your shoes, and he helps you jump into his arms so he can carry you into your room.

He trips multiple times on the way there, and almost hit your head against the wall, but you manage to get to the room scuff-free.

He gently puts you back on the ground, and you push the door closed my leaning against it with your back.

He gets on his knees in front of you, and pulls the edges of your dress up, silently asking for consent. After you nod yes, he pulls your panties down, and pushes your dress higher up onto your hips.

He licks a long stripe up your cunt, lapping up the signs of your arousal. When you let out a small whine, Peter becomes desperate for more sounds from you, and hikes your leg over his shoulder, and continues eating you out.

His tongue swirls your aching bud, and your legs almost give out. He flattens his tongue against your cunt, before thrusting two fingers in and out of you.

You release all over his face and fingers, and he kisses your inner things as you come down from your high.

"Good boy," you say breathlessly, "You're always amazing," you stoke his cheek while he sits on the floor, licking his fingers clean of your cum.

You're a bit tired from you orgasm, but no way is the night ending here.

He stands up, and holds your hand so you can both walk over to the bed. He pulls your dress over your head, and undoes your bra as you undo his belt and push his pants down.

He jumps onto the bed, and wiggles off his boxers, shirt and tie. You crawl into bed next to him, and straddle his hips. His dick is brushing against your clit, and you grind on him, eliciting a moan from him.

"Please don't tease me tonight," he grips your hips lightly.

"Nuh uh, not after the stunt you pulled earlier at the party," your slick lubricates his cock, allowing you to move smoothly. "Dry humping me in a room full of people? How pathetic. Look at you now. Whining over my pussy, and you're not even inside me yet."

He lets out an even louder whine than before when you reach up his chest, ghosting your fingertips over his abs, watching them flex under your touch, before reaching his nipples, where you pull on the skin.

"I'm sorry Y/n! You looked so fucking sexy in your dress, I couldn't help myself from looking at you."

"Aw, well since you've been so sweet to me tonight, I'll go easy on you, love."

You lift your hips, and line his cock up to your entrance, before fully sitting down, swallowing him with your pussy.

You start your bounces off slowly, but pick up the pace after a few seconds. He grips your ass, pulling you closer to him, before attaching his mouth to your perky nipples, and sucking them.

You bring a hand down to your clit, and begin rubbing small circles. A whine escapes Peter's lips. As much as he loves watching you get yourself off while using him, plus when you touch yourself, he wants nothing more than to be the one touching you.

He furrows his eyebrows, and pouts a bit as he hits your hand out of the way to be able to rub your throbbing clit. He turns his attention back onto your nipples, and circles it with his tongue.

When you clench around him, he knows you're close, and speeds up his movements on your clit.

"Fuck Y/, please cum for me. Please!"

You let yourself go, and release all over his cock. The feeling of you cumming around him pushes him over the edge, and he finishes inside you.

Panting, you both come down from your highs, and you push yourself off him and lie down next to him. He lowers himself between your legs, and when he sees your shared cum dripping from your cunt, he takes two of his fingers and pushes them inside of you to push all of his cum inside you.

"Fuck Peter, that's gonna make me come again," you lightly moan out.

When he's satisfied with how much cum he pushed inside of you, he comes up to kiss you, and lies down next to you.

"You know, if dry humping you in public gets me this as a punishment, I will be sure to do that more often," he smirks a bit as he turns his head to look at you

"Don't you dare, Parker," you look at him, a warning tone in your voice.

"So...round 2..?"

[slashingdisneypasta]

Horror Villains x Reader || Reactions

Reacting to: Reader getting slipped a love potion so whoever they see first, they fall madly in absolute and total love and adoration of. They first see Slasher. Notes: Yep, I've been watching scenes of Strange Magic. This is because of that. I definitely recommend listening to a version of 'I Cant Help Myself (Sugar Pie, Honey Bunch)' while reading XD I'm listening to the Jessica Mauboy cover! ^^

Warnings: Definitely non con elements (Not sexual though) Characters Included: Billy Loomis, Bubba Sawyer, (Mayor) Buckman, Carrie White, Chucky / Charles Lee Ray, Chop Top Sawyer, Drayton Sawyer, Freddy Krueger, Jennifer Check, (Sheriff), Hoyt, Jason Voorhees, Michael Myers, Patrick Bateman, Pennywise (OG), Stu Macher and Thomas Hewitt.

Billy Loomis:

🎶'I can't help myself'🎶

What.

What kinda - bullshit- leave me the fuck alone-

Honestly he's trying to get the hell away from you (As you tail him) while Stu's at the side texting you where they're gonna be and laughing his bloody ass off when you turn up and Billy suddenly sprints to the bathroom.

Bubba Sawyer:

🎶'Sugar pie, honey bunch You know that I love you'🎶

Oh my gosh, the moment you expression changes from one of fear and disgust, to wide eyed adoration and you start fawning over him?? He has no idea what to d o. Oh, the poor baby XDD

Like, he's just hugging his chainsaw to him as you get up close and touch his shoulders and fix his tie and follow him around and he doesn't r e a l l y mind, cuz its not like you're hurting him, but he is just confused. He's searching for Drayton. Like he'll have any answers, pft.

(Mayor) Buckman:

🎶'I can't help myself I love you and nobody else'🎶

-I'm sorry, what now? Beg your pardon, there?

As soon as he recognises that sparkly, attentive look on your eyes he's slightly baffled. I mean, he's used to being loved - his town a d o r e their mayor, - so he isn't quite as lost as Bubba is or even Billy, but- he just had your friends killed? Sweetheart are you in your right mind?

I can see him sorta, awkwardly starting to treat your a little better then your friends. What?? He'd feel just awful being terrible to someone who 'loves', him! I mean you'll still die probably, but you can stand by him until its time. Self absorbed prick

Carrie White:

🎶'In and out my life You come and you go Leaving just your picture behind And I kissed it a thousand times'🎶

(*^^*) I'm sorry (*^^*) What? (*^^*)

Oh my gosh she's a mess. What do you mean by calling her Sugar Pie? Honey bunch? Sweetheart? Cutie!?!?

She's going to run away my guy, she's going to flee. She is not used to this kind of attention (Or any at all, for that matter) and you've flustered her. She doesn't believe you're just making fun of her though (Since you're just so... adoring. She intense. So in love- this cant possibly be an act) though at least, so there's that.

Just calm. down. bitch. You're going to scare her.

Chucky / Charles Lee Ray:

🎶'When you snap your finger or wink your eye I come a-running to you I'm tied to your apron strings And there's nothing that I can do'🎶

Depends- as a human or a Good Guy?

As a human he might be a bit more reserved about the whole thing and a whole lot more confused like... is this a joke? That's a gun in my pocket, not somethin' else if that's what you're thinkin'. You gettin' off on this? What? What's the deal, here?

As a doll though it TOTALLY goes to his head. You just took this bastards ego man and shot it up with some steroids. Like yes- they even want me when I'm plastic. That's fuckin' right.

I would say, 'No way hosay, he's fleeing- he's got a hot ass wife already!! But that has never really stopped our asshole gremlin man so...

Chop Top Sawyer:

🎶'I can't help myself No, I can't help myself'🎶

'DRAYYYTONNNN, C'MERE AND MEET MAH HONEY PIE. I'M GETTIN ME HITCHED!'

*Drayton from somewhere else in the part* 'YOU'RE WHAT?!'

Yep. No getting outta this now. You're getting married to him. Enjoy.

Drayton Sawyer:

🎶''Cause sugar pie, honey bunch I'm weaker than a man should be I can't help myself'🎶

*Cough* me *cough*

I mean... *awkward cough cough's*... what?

Oh boy, Drayton is awkward. And PINK. Why're you looking at him like that? Why are you running your fingers through his hair? Why're

Like Bog in Strange Magic I think Drayton would set you aside from the rest of the victims for a while, until whatever's gotten into you has worn off at least. And begrudgingly take care of you- and try to tell you that your feelings are just whatever poison's jacked you up- and to please calm down- you wont want this old boy when your senses are back-

Gosh, he's too cute. I love him a lot.

Freddy Krueger:

🎶'I'm a fool in love, you see Wanna tell you I don't love you Tell you that we're through And I've tried Every time I see your face I get all choked up inside'🎶

Hmmmmm~ What'd you just call him?~

You're playing fire here babes-

And by that I mean he's going to push you until he finds the limit to this potion- for fun. Will you still 'love' him if he leads you off a cliff?~ If he carves his name into your back? If he forces this disgusting sludge down your throat? Will you do aaaanything for him?~ How about killing your friend over there?

Goodluck.

Jennifer Check:

🎶'When I call your name Girl, it starts a flame'🎶

Yeah, I mean of course, who doesn't, bye-

This is not shocking to her XD She's hot and amazing, she knows, alright? Shoo.

Depends- are you a dude? Cis or trans- a dudes a dude. And if you are a dude, she is going to take this admiration and use it to her advantage.

If you are not a guy, though, you'll probably get off easy, with an eyeroll as she stalks off. Maybe even a smirk.

(Sheriff) Hoyt:

🎶'Burning in my heart, tearing it all apart No matter how I try, my love I cannot hide'🎶

... Is this a trick? You fucker-

Paranoid military man kills you immediately because he thinks this is a ploy to survive and hurt his family.

Jason Voorhees:

🎶'Sugar pie, honey bunch You know that I'm waiting for you (waiting for you)'🎶

Mmmmmm... 😐 this is new territory... he really doesn't know what to do, here...

Uhh... he may lower his weapon, and tilt his head; Silently asking his mother what to do in this situation as he assesses you- you and your own tilted head, corner of your mouth tilted up as you look up (UP UP UP- ) at the 'love of your life'.

Tea? Do you want some (cold lake water and floor leaf) tea?

Michael Myers:

🎶'I can't help myself I love you and nobody else'🎶

Wh... what?

Not gonna lie- you threw him off, for sure when you got down on your knees and just gazed up at him. Even with blood all over him, even holding a shar knife, even with the corpse of your friend a few feet away.

But mostly his feelings are please go away you're freaking me the fuck out.

*The sound of your neck snapping*

Patrick Bateman:

🎶'Sugar pie, honey bunch I'd do anything you ask me to'🎶

How sad for you.

He really doesn't care, man. Just tries to go on with his life, even with you following him around everywhere and trying to get his attention, and being there at his every beck and call- he does enjoy having coffee whenever he wants it, though.

Pennywise (OG):

🎶'I can't help myself I want you and nobody else'🎶

Oh this is HILARIOUS.

Penny figures it out immediately and has a good laugh, as you giggle softly, awkwardly along with him (Which makes him laugh harder-). Ohhhh, you made his century.

You're gonna taste delicious, when he's done with you.

Stu Macher:

🎶'Sugar pie, honey bunch You know that I love you'🎶

Ahhhhh... say what now?

Billy cackles like an evil ferret behind him as you wrap your arms around Stu (The boy himself a slave to his hornier impulses but struggling as Billy's right there and also this is kinda rapey-). Good. he gets a taste of his own medicine now. He looks mortified. GOOD.

Thomas Hewitt:

🎶'I can't help myself No, I can't help myself'🎶

Thomas is a mix of Michael and Bubba- he's thinking but why, but also what do i do what do i do what do i do-

Like one one side, he's annoyed. Because you're geting in his way and he needs to help out his mamma and do what Hoyt tells him to, in order to keep his family safe.

But on the other- he's kind of enjoying this kind of attention.

God, someone just take the decision out of his hands.

[elizabethemerald]

Fall Anniversary at the Soltryce Academy

Caleb walked into his classroom at the Soltryce Academy with the immediate instinct that something was wrong. He had been teaching Transmutation theory and application in this same class room for the past twenty years, so anything that seemed different set off alarms in his head. 

He mentally checked the wards on the class room and found them intact. There were a few students in their seats, a few more filtering into the lecture hall, by the second. None of them seemed alarmed. Whatever was different today did not appear to be an immediate threat. 

Still just to be safe he subtly cast Detect Magic as he set his bag down and took off his coat. Immediately a few points were highlighted in his mind. Of course his own magical items, the amber around his neck and the amulet beside it, the ring on his finger, the chalk he had enchanted to help him lecture. Nothing off there. 

There were a few points of magic around the rest of the room, each quickly analyzed and dismissed. Transmutation magic on a small pile of coins near the wall, a low level student’s practice project. Abjuration magic in the wards along the walls. Divination magic in a button, another spying device Astrid had tried to sneak into his class room to keep him from teaching against the school’s policies. 

It was the illusion spells that caught his attention. A few of the students were covered in the same, linked illusion. Their appearance normal enough to blend in, but also entirely too normal for a real student. And there, a student he didn’t recognize even with his keen mind, covered in an illusion spell. Several other magical objects of varying power, hidden under the spell. The Vestige appeared to be within its pocket dimension, so at least they hadn’t brought a weapon onto campus. 

After setting down his things and greeting his class he squeezed past a few of the students to grab Astrid’s enchanted button. He quickly dispelled it and slipped it into an envelope to return to her later. As he returned to the front he gave the cat sitting on his desk a brief scratch. 

“Hello Jester.” He said. Of course he didn’t need Detect Magic telling him of the cat’s aura of Transmutation to know his friend. She was bright blue after all and staring at him far more smugly than even a magic fey cat would. 

“Now class, I know we were discussing transmutation principles as applied to effecting the elements around you, but I am afraid that lesson will have to be postponed. It would seem that it is the anniversary of the Mighty Nein getting together and they have decided to invite themselves to my class.”

There was a muttering around the class room as the students looked at each other, before one of them near the front stood up, the illusion dropping off her form as she did so. 

“I told you he wouldn’t fall for it!” Veth said in her high voice, She looked mostly unchanged from when they first brought her back to her proper body. A few more laugh lines, but nothing more to show the passing two decades. “Lebby, is an amazing wizard, he wouldn’t fall for something simple like that. You students better appreciate the skill of your teacher.”

Caleb smiled fondly as Veth walked up to the front to give him a hug. Interspersed through the seats a few more illusion spells dropped. A half elven man walked up from the front row and kissed him on the cheek. Essek’s own illusion lasting even as he dismissed the Seeming on Kingsley and Yasha. 

“How did they rope you into this?” Caleb whispered to Essek. 

“Oh you know I can’t resist a practical joke.” Essek maintained his deadpan delivery for only a few seconds before a small smile graced his lips. Caleb knew quite well that Essek looked as ageless as ever, under his illusion. His elven blood would keep him looking much the same for the next few centuries. Caleb returned the kiss, to the muttering of his students. They weren’t ever a 100% sure who Caleb’s rotating cast of elven boyfriends were, and Caleb was more than happy to keep them in the dark. 

“Well you can’t fault us for trying!” Kingsley said. They were wearing a scandalously low cut shirt, a pair of plain black pants, and a pair of thigh high boots. His purple hair was fading to a less vibrant shade just a bit near his ears and he had a larger collection of scars, as one would expect from years of piracy and being a bloodhunter. They were also wearing their sword much to Caleb’s disapproval, which was apparently not magical. 

“You can’t expect me to hide this glorious look without magic though can you?” He said, sliding his hands down to his hips then back up his torso. Then he grabbed Caleb’s chin and kissed him full on the mouth, with tongue for several seconds, while his students lost their collective minds. Caleb smiled against Kingsley’s lips right before the tiefling stepped back. He was sure the rumor mill of the school would go wild about that for a few weeks. He wished he could see the look on Master Beck’s face when the news came across her desk. “Here’s to another twenty years, magic man.”

Yasha and Caduceus walked up next, each giving Caleb a tight hug. These two showed their age the least of the non elven members of the Nine. Cad could have been just stepping out of the temple doors in the Blooming Grove, saying that he had only three cups, if it weren’t for the increased presence of lichens and mosses of all kinds on his clothes and armor. Caleb was fairly certain there was an actual bird’s nest in his pink hair. Yasha of course looked as badass and muscular as she had when they first found her. Her hair was completely white, done up in an ornate braid. Home life seemed to suit her well, she looked genuinely happy and relaxed like she certainly hadn’t when they had first gotten together. 

Fjord’s spell dropped as well. The half orc’s hair had large stripes of gray in it, he had crows feet at the corners of his eyes, and his salt and pepper beard had significantly more salt to it now. He still looked good, life at sea, despite its hardships, keeping him fit. He laughed at something over Caleb’s shoulder as he approached and he found himself lifted bodily into the air by a pair of muscular blue arms. 

Jester having dropped her polymorph spun him around briefly in the hug before setting him back on his feet. She would never fail to look divine. Her horns now curling in on themselves, almost like her mother’s had when they first met her. Her hair is pulled back into a pony tail, poofing out behind her head from the salt air. Her sailing days were certainly not hurting her in anyway. Her smile was still just as wide, her eyes just as sharp, and her arms just as strong, if not more so. 

“Happy anniversary Caleb! Twenty years ago you were a stinky wizard. Now you are here teaching!” Jester’s happiness in her voice carried to every corner of the lecture hall. 

“What happened to our plan of drinks in Nicodranas this evening?”

“I just couldn’t wait Cay-leb.” She pouted. “Fjord and I got into port early, and I was so bored.”

Caleb smiled at her, then looked around at the rest of the Nein, pretending to count. 

“We appear to be one short. Where is my sister? Couldn’t drag her away from the Cobalt training pit? Or did she get lost in a book like some kind of nerd?” Caleb said with a smirk.

“Mother fucker!” 

He looked up towards the voice above him, just in time to watch Beauregard drop from the ceiling, to land on his desk with a perfect three point landing. She hopped off the desk and punched his arm, before also grabbing him in a tight hug. 

“I am not a nerd, Widogast!” She snapped, a wide grin on her face. 

“Beauregard, please do not land on my desk. It was a gift and I don’t think it could bare too many impacts like that.” He stopped to look up at the vaulted ceilings of the class room. “Also, how did you get up there?”

If she had been invisible she would have tripped the wards on the class room. And if she had gone in the brief break between classes one of the early students would have noticed her and caused a stir. 

Beau took her turn to smirk. 

“I have been waiting up there for four hours so we could surprise you. It’s surprisingly comfortable. I could have gone another couple of hours without breaking a sweat.” She paused to flex, causing several students, and Yasha to blush at her muscles. 

Beauregard’s monk training meant that she looked like she hadn’t aged a day since Aeor. And she could still easily out fight everyone else in the room if she wanted to. She was also the one member of the Nein that Caleb saw the most frequently. Their work to root out corruption among the Cerberus Assembly, and other bodies of power in the Empire often kept them up together late into the night, until Yasha would intervene and throw her wife over her shoulder to carry her to bed. 

“Can I finish the lesson, or should we depart immediately?” Caleb asked, already guessing the answer. 

“Cayyyllleeeb.” Jester groaned, pulling at her face. “I’m sooooo bored. I want to drink and party already!”

Caleb turned back to his class of students. He was sure most of them had heard rumors about Professor Widogast and the wild adventures he got up to with the Mighty Nein back when they first got together. He wasn’t sure how much they actually believed, but he was sure that even the most widely blown out of proportion tale didn’t even begin to cover the truth of what they had done together. 

“In honor of the anniversary of this group of arschlochs finding each other, consider this to be a free day. Keep up on your readings, and if you have any questions I will be at my regular office hours tomorrow morning.” 

The students immediately started buzzing as they stood and packed. No doubt during tomorrow’s class he would have to field a whole host of questions about the Nein, and that was just the way he liked it. The day after the anniversary was the one day he would talk about what his family had done. As the class filtered out, with many a lingering glance thrown at the colorful group at the front, Caleb turned to Essek, setting the envelope with Astrid’s button in it on the table top to deal with later. 

“Would you like to teleport us to the beach, or shall I?”

Essek put up both hands. 

“I already used my spell slots getting us all back together again. You can bring us to the coast.” Essek said, his smile a mix between smug and fond. 

Caleb rolled his eyes before pulling him into a soft kiss. Then he turned to address the rest of the Nein. The family he had made for himself. 

“Are we ready?” After a series of nods, he pulled an ancient clay turtle from his pocket and gave it a squeeze. “Then let’s go!”

And they were off, to a night of drinks and celebration and stories told, and memories shared. And of course many toasts, “To another twenty years.”

[jaysen-vor-hee-hees]

due to high demand (about 1 person) i’m writing a character summary for the beloved Ryn Ramirez buckle up fuckers

Ryn motherfucking Ramirez. Oh my me do we love this man.

Ryn Ramirez, younger brother of Vanté Ramirez. Y’know- same parents as Vanté, same amount of siblings, blah blah blah, doesn’t have any kids though and probably won’t for a while. 28 centuries since manifestation into the Overworld from the Underworld.

In his base form, Ryn is about 5’8”, shoulder length ✨auburn✨ hair, pale skin but not as pale as Vanté’s because he actually spends time outside, manifested in england so we’re just gonna say he’s british, same sort of build as Vanté just doesn’t have abs, blue eyes (not sure what shade, do with this what you will), constantly wears dark eyeshadow, has a sleeve tattoo on his left arm, has a lil loveheart tattoo on his uhm- what do people call it- v-line? whatever, has a fun little third eye tattoo on his forehead.

Ryn doesn’t really have any addictions like the others, has only gotten laid like- exactly once despite being half incubus, hasn’t really had many relationships at all, he’s just sort of an innocent lil guy that wants hugs.

Ryn is a incubus-blood demon mix, so he’s practically harmless, also has his own share of abilities, some overlapping with Vanté’s (Reality Bending, “Glitching”, Identity Shifting (post writing wynter here! just realised i in fact did not list what Identity Shifting is on Vanté’s, so I’ll list it here), and Possession). The ones that don’t overlap are as follows;

-Air Manipulation. More commonly known as “Air Bending”, Ryn can control the air around him within a certain radius, and any plants that produce air.

-“Seduction”. Ryn, despite the factor that he doesn’t actually use it, has an amplified seduction ability given he’s an incubus. This makes seduction rather easy if he so desired.

-Identity Shifting. Ryn can change his appearance however he desires. He rarely uses it, but he definitely has in the past. This does include changing genders entirely.

-Energy-reliant Immortality. Ryn is immortal in the sense that he relies on the ammounf of “spiritual energy” in his system. The moment it fades out, he will pretty much just drop dead instantly. Luckily Vanté came up with a little liquid medicine thing that keeps his energy up so he doesn’t just fucking die, (which is why he lives with Vanté), but if he were to stop taking this and the energy were to wear off, then he would just.. die.

Okay so lore segment; Ryn was the first one to test the official passageway between the Underworld and the Overworld. The only problem is, there’s no returning, and you lose all memory once you pass through except for your demon type, your siblings (yes, you forget who your parents are. cry about it /j), and how to use your abilities. It worked, of course.

Ryn also had the chance to just vibe for a while. He picked up a course in fine arts, graduated, just sort of lived life for a while. Until he too also was yoinked by STS. When he did breach with Vanté, instead of having his rage phase a fortnight later, he instead got extreme mood swings and just continued to live life anyway.

He was later on deemed the “God of Purity” in the Pyrathos religion when he was passing through the country it originated in and came across a group of followers of Pyrathos, where he was then reunited with Vanté. He didn’t stay for very long though and went back home where he started his own little small business of selling artworks and stickers and whatnot. During this time he got the tattoos he has now, not sure when or where quite yet but he did.

Honestly he doesn’t actually have too much lore now that I think about it. He’s just an innocent little guy that could just drop dead at any second.

Well, i guess since i did for Vanté, it’s only appropriate to elaborate on Ryn’s life before manifestation in the castle.

Considered to be the favourite child, Ryn got away with A Lot when he was inside and outside of the castle. He was essentially allowed to go wherever he wanted and do whatever he wanted. This unrestricted method of parenting however did end up leading him into some pretty hefty situations, which is eventually why he decided to volunteer to test the passageway.

And, due to his carefree, lenient attitude he’d developed from this, when he was at STS, Helix was able to bend him into doing his will and, eventually, weaponised him. It didn’t last very long though since he breached shortly afterwards, but if Helix were to get his hands on him again, then y’know. It’d be possible.

And that’s essentially it for Ryn’s baseline lore. He currently lives with Vanté but he also owns an apartment if he wants some space for a while. He’s a very loveable character, I’ve found, and I’m definitely going to do some more work on him and his lore because yes.

[lovecatsys]

malcolm or curt from vg for the character list thing ✨

doing both bc yea

Mal

favorite thing about them: EVERYTHING. ok but seriously in the beginning when arthur and the creatures r running to the concert and he fucking drops his boa and almost runs into the street. also just. manlet rights.

least favorite thing about them: i honestly dont have anything to say except i can tell he can be an evil bastard sometimes but like i actually like that abt him so idk

favorite line: he has a total of two lines as far as im aware but "which is why we prefer impressions to ideas" and every line in that scene is amazing

brOTP: him and ray although i highly doubt they have not fucked at least once

OTP: mal and jack obviously

nOTP: i honestly have no idea what to put for this DJDHDK

random headcanon: refers to curt as "that fucker" (sorry im bad with headcanons fjdhdj) also idk if she exists in their world or not but he wld be a suzi quatro fan

unpopular opinion: honestly this fandom is so small and mal has a total of two lines that im not sure what is popular and unpopular but i believe he can be both an incredibly snobby fucker but also doesnt give a fuck

song i associate with them: 20th century boy obviously but also nancy boy placebo

favorite picture of them:

for some reason it wont let me add it but its from the scene in blue lighting where hes holding up a cigarette and making the fruitiest expression when the creatures r talking to arthur

Curt

favorite thing about them: THE WAY HE SINGS GIMME DANGER fuck that scene is so good. also just his whole gender black nail polish bleach blond hair leather pants no shirt god i love him so much

least favorite thing about him: honestly i cant think of any serious answers bc i just love him so much but in a joking manner the fact that he wrote my unclean and sang it. Like That. itd probably be an okay song if he didnt sing it that way lmao

favorite line: "make love in gay style"

brOTP: CURT AND MANDY CURT AND MANDY CURT AND MANDY (ok tiny rant but the fact that mandy hated him for how he totally ruined her relationship with brian but then also realizing that he wasnt the right man for her anyways and developing a strong love for curt purely because they were both hurt by the same man and bonding specifically over that UGH the post death of glitter scene where they hug and put their foreheads together GOD i love their friendship)

OTP: curt and arthur <3

nOTP: curt and brian. it was cute at the start but then brian became an asshole, and also i think curt may have been slightly dependent on him due to his addiction and this paired with brian being like. unhealthily obsessed with curt is just. yeah. not good!!

random headcanon: had a comphet crush on astrid kirrsher idk if its realistic that he wouldve known she existed or not but either way this is true

unpopular opinion: i think he shouldve sang lou reed more like idk i love the stooges but like. i feel like he shldve sang perfect day. maybe im just fuckin biased bc *is huge lou reed fan* but still. i feel like there shouldve been more of a mix up of the two artists however i AM glad that they got satellite of love in the movie! ezpecially since transformer is a huge part of the basis of what curt and brians professional relationship is based off and also bc it fucks

song i associate with them: rock city wankers by the ark and also i wanna be your dog by the stopges

favorite picture of them: im not sure if my phone is gonna let me put one but probably from that scene where he comes into the bar at death of glitter like hooooly shit his vibes....