#these dont match pls pretend they do <3

[winxys]

congratulations on your debut kim taerae <3

[rzyraffek]

Slashers with s/o that is spooked by loud noises/sudden movements

Jason Voorhees

aww babi pls dont be spooked! *worried* he will protect!!

He will try his best!! his rather calm and notvery chaotic so he wont cause any problems!!!

But if you are one of the campers and one of them is clearly tiggering you/making you uncomfy he will make sure this person is first to go bai bai B)

Our boi is in the nonverbal gang so you guys are a match ig

Also Jason is probably spooked of fireworks so you both can cuddle in bed while the loud spook is happening

Micheal Myers

Just like Jason, he is nonverbal, and he rather act slowly(exept the whole killing part yknow)

He will kinda understand? Like he spent 20years in asylum with old white balding man, i think he knows what hes dealing with!

He wont get out of his way for most part, but if somone is bothering you he will whoop them

Corry Cunningham

lad's mad, he might do some scary stuff just for funisies (omg guys hes sooooo sillly :/)

But he also protect! He will beat anyone up, no like litteraly anyone, they dont even need to do anything to you, he will beat them up

He will try to calm you down by huggies or taking you to cool places!

Billy Lenz

well erm this this would be difficult

He is loud, fast and chaotic bean, it would take a while to get used to it

I can imagine yall thinking "b-but he is a stealth killer, he littteraly was sneaky sneaky whole movie exept the telephone part" YALL YALL He obviously would be more loud/chaotic when he accualy doenst have to hide around cuz somone might call police on him :O

Look he will try, mostly by just staying at your sight so he wont accidently spook you by suddenly walking from some weird angle, or he will try to talk quieter, but yknow its difficult :(((

Asa Emory <3

Mans smart, he really gets it okay

Alright he kinda finds it cute how you flinch/wimper BUT LIKE he wont spook you on purpose (most of time, and hes good at pretending that he didn't mean it :[ )

But this enjoyment is reserved to him and only him! Noone dares to spook you on purpose! This kind of people dont even deserve to be in his colection B) (to the box they go)

Also he probably dealt with people with similar problems to yours at past, bug guy has huge collection of people im sure that at least 2of them had something like that

Brahms Heelshire

Another smart one, he gets it! Also he assumes that you have some sort of trauma

Even tho he gets it, its difficult for him to sympathize with you

He is not very empathetic person alr

Also house is very empty and quiet and theres no neighbours so theres noone you can worry about! Exept Brahms himself

I feel like Billy and Brahms have similar problem, but Billy at least is trying? Brahms is such a bebi he wont change (for most part) unless you have like very strong reactions to it :(

The man (guy from the hush)

Hes sneaky so he prolly wont cause any problems

His voice is rather calm too so again, no problems

Also his dream life is to live in middle of nowhere so like?? Again no problem???

He might have slight anger issues and sometimes yell but its like very rare?

Guy is an angel (exept the whole hunting humans for sport thingy <3 )

[helsex-moved]

Hello beloved mutual Crys Offbrand-Helsknight, do you perchance have any specific exhels relationship headcanons that I could yoink for a fic?

I'm at -7 braincells with this but at the same time I'm climbing on the ceiling with possibilities

Thank<3

hello beloved mutual atropos mcytdilf i have several hundreds but they've all fled my mind instantly let me think

uhhhh

ex is really really bad at cooking, inversely hels is really good at it but everything he makes is insanely spicy so ex always has to pretend to be fine despite their low spice tolerance just to spare Hels' feelings

they have the tendency to bet a lot of things on their sparring matches, chores, favors,, other things

exhels owns several striders which are basically just dogs, most are the size of chihuahuas and and act like them but one is larger. they've taught them to bark annoyingly at people they dont like (wels + xisuma) . one of them is trained to notice changes in heartbeats (like some services dogs can irl), mostly so that it can sense Ex's heartrate spike during nightmares and panic attacks and alert hels, or if hels isn't around sit on their chest in an attempt to calm them down

i have way more but i cant remember them 😭 hopefully these help

also if u end up writing anything pls share with mee

[fyodior]

nsfw is fine for me, it can be sfw if you want

not comfy w/ sharing my real name on here so lets just go with Lycoris

i am a computer science student in college

im 5'8, white, i have blue/gray eyes, and dark red dyed hair in a bob with bangs

i am the parental friend who will ask questions, talk to people, keep us out of trouble, volunteer for things etc UNTIL i fimd someone who i trust enough to do that for me. then its chaos. i have adhd if that helps anything lol

enfp

i play genshin, persona 5, and minecraft; i play the guitar and sometimes write music (also sing and play a couple other instruments); i like reading literature: i watch anime; i like solving puzzles and working with technology; i occasionally upload on youtube or stream on twitch (not sharing it to tumblr lol) (im also a christian but im here on a tumblr smut acc)

im a very picky eater, i swear im like a child, i dont try anything i dont already like. i am a very assertive and opinionated person so if i dont like something You Will Know. but at the same time i can keep it back to be polite (except for food im sorry i will live off of ramen until i die)

any of the adult males, fuckin surprise me

nope nothing else to add <3

lycoris x ranpo

✧ surpriseee your silly little man is The ranpo edogawa himself

✧ you guys work so well bc you both compliment and counteract each other. you're very similar in some ways but complete opposites in others, which is. essential for relationships

✧ ranpo is a (loveable) dumbass and could definitely use your parental friend abilities, mostly when it comes to like changing lightbulbs, taking the train, doing the fucking laundry. he's so smart but so stupid pls be patient with him

✧ BUT i think he very much could step up and be that person you could trust wholeheartedly. you could let your chaos show with him he could handle it. he might match it with his own crazy tho bfdakljfk

✧ i would be SCARED to see your guys' kitchen dkfjkadsljf like oh my god. you both are the worlds pickiest eaters, and ranpo's obsession with snacks and sweets...... you would need an entire pantry shelf dedicated to just ramen and another one just for all of his candy. id get a fucking cavity just from entering the room

✧ you're slightly taller than him (2 inches) but he absolutely refuses to admit this. when he stands next to you he'll stand a bit on his tippie toes and everyone just pretends its not happening LMAO poor ranpo </3

✧ you hardcore bond over your love for puzzles and reading and problem solving. this is likely how the two of you ended up meeting and/or interacting for the first time, and is something relatively integral to your relationship. its something that both calms you down and can start fights fkjdalj;f like if you solved a poe novel first he wouldn't speak to you for like 3 days

✧ you are both . very opinionated and this can be good and bad

✧ bad in that you'd have to be very conscious about the fact that you inevitably will butt heads, and knowing the best ways for the two of you to cool off either together or individually.

✧ good because if you guys share a really strong opinion about a certain tv show or hatred for a person that is. talking material for DAYS you could both get hyperfixated on the same things and everyone at the agency is like oh jesus fucking christ. not them again

✧ you'll def find yourselves in arguments about the silliest things which isn't necessarily a bad thing sdlkjfdsjk like one morning you're bickering because ranpo was like NO YOU DEFINITELY HAVE MORE MARSHMALLOWS IN YOUR LUCKY CHARMS THAN I DO and you're like WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU TALKING A BOUT

✧ i promise i genuinely think you guys would work well together i really do fklajfkdj

✧ i dont think he really understands video games at all, like thats not his thing. but he def will sit there absolutely mesmerized as you stream.

✧ i know cockwarming where the guy is the one playing the games but why cant it be the other way around. u ride him as you play video games. why not. i said so

✧ he'd LOVE listening to you play music

✧ anyway. power couple. the two of you would drive everyone at the agency insane with your antics but they'd all love you too :)

[blotsburg]

more kevin headcannons bc why not

tw/cw: mention of OCD, blood, and sex.

-loves being kissed. literally anywhere. back? yes pls. chest? obviously. neck? do i need to beg? arms? pls. legs? yes. feet? no what the hell. face? yes. head? duh.

-his love language is quality time fs. as long as he’s hanging out with you—he’s happy.

-he prefers prime numbers. why? we dont know.

-has bandaids on his fingers and hands that are usually hello kitty or something child-like because you patch him up.

-you offen buy matching gemstone bracelets. he always wears them unless he’s playing drums so he doesn’t break them. he has 6 of them so far, so he wears 3 on each hand. you did the same.

-he’s gotten good at pulling his puppy dog eyes at you, meaning it always works.

-bisexual but has no idea

-hunter hated you at first but now you two are platonic besties that gossip like crazy

-when a sex scene comes on he pretends he’s suddenly interested in the feeling of the couch or the way the carpet looks because they make him uncomfortable 😭

-switch. need i say more?

-sleeps with socks on (real)

-you sit in his lap usually but you love teasing him, especially in front of friends and you’re able to get him to sit on your lap.

-he draws a lot of his mental issues out on paper in a way that’s very abstract. most of them are about his undiagnosed OCD and how he sometimes feels trapped since he cant put what hes feeling into words. its especially harder because he doesnt know why he feels these things, so he assumes its normal. you asked him about it once and he shrugged and said that it was just a “relatable drawing.” you were a concerned because it did not seem very relatable but instead quite dark. the drawing was a picture of a sidewalk drawn in graphite, he drew the lines in the sidewalk as holes in the ground that had knives coming out of them. he had a shoe that avoided it but had black liquid coming out from the bottom of it that was clearly meant to be depicted as blood. the shoe had a fish-like net around it that was attached to the part of the leg you could see. numbers were written all over the curb, “12345” that was repeated until it convered the entire curb. you only recognized that because he often repeated the numbers quite randomly.

[simluvbot]

Enhypen as dates they would take you on <3

tags: gn!reader, established relationship au, fluff, bf! enha

members: all members !!

wc: 400-800ish for each member ?? this is very long uh I’m sorry I got carried away

a/n: hi, welcome to my first piece of writing on this blog 😁😁 I tried to write so that these matched the members and their personalities the most! Also as this is my first post any interaction is so cherished 🥺 but anyways,, I hope you enjoy :D

open to read

Heeseung

he would take you to so many fun places!!

Your dates would consist of going bowling together, theme parks, a walk in the park — you can count on having a fun time with heeseung!

He would just want to impress you );

He’s be always so attentive to you and remember even the littlest of details about you

You’d be in a shop together looking around and he’ll tap your shoulder, showing you a lace shirt that you instantly fall in love with

It’s just your style!

You’d ask him how he knew you would like it, to which he would simply mumble  with, “you told me a few months ago that you like shirts like this.”

You’d just stand in shock like :ooo

Not even you remember telling him that ):

Please he loves you so much, if it’s something that you tell him you like or don’t like, he’ll immediately store it in his memory! He wants to know so much more about you 🥺

Your dates are definitely what you look forward to whenever you see him!!

As much as you love fun day outs with him, you also love your chiller night dates at him <3

Meeting each other late at night after practice? A must!! No way can you let your hee go home alone when he’s the last leaving the practice room after a long day ):<

You would often surprise him by showing up at belift at ungodly hours, and as much as he would scold you with a light frown for coming to see him when it’s already half past midnight,,

You still always catch that small little smile he has whenever you do surprise him hehe

to be aware of just the fact that youre there? is enough for him. you ground him and its especially those spontaneous dates youll throw upon him and inevitably show him without the words uttered that you care for him and you love him? 

those are secretley his fave (: but he doesnt have to tell you that - youve already guessed :D

But at the same time on those late night after-practice dates he just wants to make sure that you’re not staying up too late all the time just to make sure he’s doing okay after practice, his y/nnie needs their sleep too ):

And what you’ll do together? Eat ramen of course!!

Although these little late night dates with him usually dont last no longer than an hour, he still treasures them so dearly in his heart ):

Hee sometimes needs a lot of love and assurance, even if he doesn’t mention it

And you’re the best at making him feel better instantly 🥺

but we seriously cant forget about your daytime dates too! each date of yours is always filled with so so many jokes and giggles that your hearts burn with longing for the other whenever you part ways ):

i can see that he’ll even store the memory of your dates even weeks after they’ve happened - he’ll store those memories of you; all in his heart (and the polaroid he took of you in the back of his phonecase 😳) and tucked close.

Jake

as for dates, to me he seems the type to be into really spontaneous and random things!! He’d love going somewhere fun or just simply randomly travelling with you without a destination!

He especially loves to sneak out of the dorm late at night and meet you at you and his favourite park.

It’s located at the top of a really tall hill, and you’ll both spend hours sitting on the swings, chatting away with little care for the rest of the world or the time as you both simply giggle at each other’s jokes and contentedly talk about anything and everything; watching the city lights glow from hundreds of metres below you

He’d offer you his jacket when the temperature drops by a few degrees suddenly

You’d be like no!! It’s okay you should also stay warm, I’m okay 🥺

But then because he is such a sweetheart he’d huff and sit next to you on the swing, making the single-seater far too cramped as he tries to supply you with his body heat if that’s the only way that you’ll accept not freezing to death 😠

But then you’ll both slip due to there not being enough space for both of you on the wing, and your both fall flat down on your butts lmao

You’d both freeze, staring at each other blankly on the floor

but then you’d both crack up and laugh for the longest time — hushing each other in-between giggles from the fear of maybe you were being a bit too loud and could wake some people up?

But then you’d both fall into giggling messes once again as you blame each other for causing the other to fall down ):

You’d eventually sit together huddled on a bench, sitting in silence and simply staring out at seoul’s twinkling night lights as you share his leather jacket: heavy and warm as it drapes across you and his’ shoulders

But eventually you’d both finally head home! — your eyelids soon growing too heavy and both of you afraid of accidentally falling asleep at a park at 1am lmfao

idk why but i can just see a lot of late-night dates with jake,, such as

baking cookies together at 1am???? probably has happened twice already in your relationship aha 😁

honestly you both spend so much time together casually that you end up arguing on whether that time where he randomly showed up at your house wanting to make relationship bracelets together was really a date or not lmao

he is also so <3 so incredibly sweet too though uGH. he is a sweetheart and like heeseung he will remember every little detail of you which will be useful for when he comes up with more date ideas in the future (

on dates such as eating at a restaurant together he will always bring you flowers like the gentleman he is.

it’s kinda funny because when youre both on a date together alone with no other people around you both become complete crackheads

but when meeting in front of others he acts so mature and serious suddenly lmao ?? 

but honestly he just trusts and loves you so so much that he doesnt even feel like he needs to act a certain way or try to become someone complteley different on a date just to impress you

but its okay because you love the duality of jake sim <3

someone get me him pls. i want one </3

Jay

With jay, shopping dates ??? yes of course (;

he’d simply love taking you out either down a road with many well-known clothing brands or maybe even the mall, entering several clothing stores with you

he never mentions it, but its obvious how much he simply adores seeing you wear the clothes he picks out for you :D

oh and matching couple outfits are obviously always chosen whenever you go out on these fashion dates!!

he will pick out a selection of items he thinks will look good on you, and - to admit it to himself: he does a pretty good damn job

tell me why this boy will get so flustered whenever he sees you walk out of the changing room,, looking so pretty in what he chose for you ??

he’d also one day surprise you on a date with matching couple bracelets :D

you’ll get so excited and he’ll get so shy and try to hide his smile as you compliment how good his sense of style is !! and as much as he denies the fact that he’s blushing you luckily do manage to snap some pics as evidence of the rosy colour in his cheeks hehe

and especially earlier on in the relationship, he’ll always try his best and prepare cute little dates for you both )): and the members would tease him to DEATH for how unbelievably soft and considerate he is when doing things for you when he is so cranky towards them lmfao

chill dates (:

walking in the park together, getting ice cream, going for late night drives and listening to music together </3 with jay it never has to be complicated

Just as long as he gets to be with you, talk with you and touch you then that’s more than enough for him (: he just likes to be in your company

and Idk why I can just see this but he wILL have playground dates with you. dont question it

Because like ?? hanging out on the swings or climbing frame of a kids park at 11PM when there’s no one else there but you both?? Talking and swinging quietly next to each other? very romantic to me hmm

Yes <3 

he will stare at you as he silently swings a back and forth a little; brushing the hair out of your face and looking at you with so so much love in his eyes it’s unbelievable

he especially loves just relaxing with you. watching a show on the tv together while cuddling and staying close to each other is something he loves

hearing your giggles and listening to you talk while engaging in teasing banter where he’ll pretend to think the things you say are stupid by scoffing and rolling his eyes when in reality his heart is swelling and he’s trying so hard not to laugh at how cute you are? 

shut UP

those are definitely one of his favourite types of dates with you

he’ll constantly try to impress you and will be willing to try so many different things with you

i can see him as either being openly interested about going on typical couple dates together such as painting or eating at romantic restaurants,, or every time you mention something of the sort he’ll be groaning at yet another mention of the ‘couple bucket list’ you had created lol

but actually he’s secretly really excited for that couple mug-painting session you booked for you both. but he will never tell you that 😳

in conclusion, with jay it really never has to be something complex for you both to enjoy your dates <3 he just loves being in your company, even if its one of those nights where you both share no words between the cuddling and content sighs and various little soft kisses he presses to your forehead.

sunghoon

with sunghoon gOSH

whatever you two get up to, it’d be so so soft and gentle and perfect and just ):

he would always ask the members what to take you out on as a date and you bet his naver search history would consist of questions like ‘what does my s/o like’ and ‘where should i take out my partner on a date’ lmao

he just wants to make you happy and comfy ):

dates with him are usually really cute!! Like going to cafes, going ice skating etc!

But you’d also love those dates at home with him, giggling shyly as you both sit together and watch a film 🥺

he LOVES those dates! he always gets so shy whenever he comes over and it takes him a little while to get comfortable enough with you to even hold your hand pls

So when he one day pulls you in closer from where you’re sitting side by side on the couch,, bringing you closer and tucking you under his arm ??

You’re so so surprised, and you feel your heart clench a little at how gentle he is with you and how he’s finally opening up ):

And from then on,, he only will become more and more comfortable with you!!! To the point where he’ll start pouting a lil when you don’t snuggle up next to him on the sofa like you usually do );

So cuddle dates with hoon? Yes you bet they’re his fave!!

and then when its quickly approaching your 100 days anniversary, he’ll be wracking his brains for so long trying to decide what to do for you

but then it will hit him like a light bulb switching on!

he’ll suddenly remember you mentioning this specific thing that you really liked and would want to do one day, and guess what he would plan for u both!!

he’d prepare 💔💔 a picnic 💔💔 for you 💔💔

ugh youre so lucky

he’d text you the day before your anniversary telling you to expect to go on a date with him the day after and to dress up prettily :D

he’d wake up super early on the day of the date, preparing all of your favourite foods and meals into a cute lil basket ):

and when you finally both meet at a really rEALLY pretty secluded area that you somehow had no idea existed despite you living in the area for so long - you’d maybe start tearing up?? 

because your boyfriend is so so sweet and you never saw this coming from him at all ): 

and he’d just stand there shyly in front of the picnic he set up, hand at the back of his head and looking down; cute lil blush tainting his cheeks from how nervous he is!

but then you’d run over and give him a big, big hug, exxclaiming how much you appreciate what he did for you and how youre so so incredibly sorry for not bringing him something as well to celebrate your anniversary (you were dying inside fo guilt please!! how could u forget to get him something when he went out of his way like this for you )):  )

but he’d simply shake his head, smiling and not minding at all

because if he gets to see you happy, gets to see those twinkling eyes of yours that just stare up at him with so so much love before bringing him in for a sweet kiss - then he simply doesnt mind at all.

r u crying at this like i am lol

sunoo

sunoo absoloutely adores you.

and he cant stay away from you !! lmao

you’ll leave after a date and ten minutes after youve arrived you’ll get a text from him saying how much he already misses you and wants to see his bun again ):

but its okay!! because y’all would meet up again really soon again :D

sunoo really doesnt mind what you both do together, he just loves being in your company !! if he’s doing something with you, its certain that he will have so much fun and be so so comfy!

you often like to go to cinemas together, watching a film

film/drama marathons are also something that you both do very very often as a date! he loves it when you hug him tight and throw a leg over his as you both lie down in his dorm bed/your bed, watching something on your laptop

he is very very cuddly and whenever you both do have cuddle dates/sessions (which is all the time btw) he’ll like it when you absentmindedly play with his fingers or stroke your hands through his hair soothingly

and then he’ll complain and whine when you stop lmao

seriously though, without a question if either of you meet at either his dorm or your house - its always:  ‘so what are we gonna watch?’

he also likes doing very very cute couple-y activities with you! of course he does,, youre his baby ): 

(he’s more YOUR baby actually - but he doesnt need to know about that shh hehe)

funfair dates where you will go on a ferris wheels and eat cotton candy together? sharing a kiss when you reach the top? yes! and so is going to those sets designed for couples to take cute photos together as a lil photoshoot!

he is so so sweet with you ): 

and has it been mentioned yet that you’ll go on food dates? this is a very obvious date you both do very often !! 

going to food markets and trying out different street foods from different vendors? yes.

having mini dates at the korean convinience store late at night where you’ll both sit by the window and eat tteokbokki & ramen together? yes.

its all honestly really really chill, but he also knows when to be serious when he needs to (:

he’ll take you out to the your favourite restaurants often!

and whenever youre celebrating something he’ll take you to a really good and famous restaurant with mouth-watering food, and you’ll be left wondering for the longest time how on earth he managed to get a seat in since its always so booked

or ordering take-out is good too :D

in conclusion (because i just realised how long this is help 😭): dates with sunoo are always a variety of fun activities which always leave you feeling tired yet so, so happy and content at the end of the day !!

he loves you so much <3

Jungwon

Since you both go to the same school, a lot of your little dates are actually spent there

He’s pretty shy with you at times,, but when you’re both alone it’s then that dates with him are usually so so goofy and silly; days filled with his teasing and your eye rolls and giggles.

Meeting at the rooftop before school to simply talk and giggle and drink chocolate milk? Yes.

Staying after school for small study sessions in the library? Yes.

With jungwon, you’re not able to see him as much between school and him being an idol, so every little moment together means so much to both of you ):

To me jungwon also seems like a cuddler!!! cause like?? Have you seen him ?? Tell me he doesn’t look so soft 

So, dates at home when he’s free where you can both cuddle together in your bed while eating and doing homework? They’re so so cosy,, and definitely your favourite kinda dates!! not to mention that your parents absolutely adore him too

With jungwon, lots of lil spontaneous dates are definitely his and yours trademark (‘:

He’ll turn up at your house randomly with a grin and dimple poking at his cheek, holding a bag of convenience store food and asking you if you want to go on a date with him even if it’s 10pm and dark outside lmfao

And then he’ll take you to an arcade!

You’ll be the only ones there and he’s keep flexing about how he’s going to win you this cat plush from the claw machine because he says it looks like him

He’d try several times and end up spending almost 8,000 won on the machine trying to win you this plush and at this point he’s already making up several excuses about how oh, ‘it’s rigged’ or ‘give me one more chance I will get it this time!!’

You’d giggle at how he grows flustered, gently asking him if you could have a go for fun, sighing and with him and agreeing on the fact that the claw machine is definitely rigged

You’d complain together; scolding the machine and asking it to please be nice and stop ruining your date when it’s then that the claw actually picks up a plush and you’re both like ;oo

You’d both stay stood in shock as the cat plush is dropped into the receiving box, before laughing loudly

He’d stand there flustered, blush tainting his cheek before he just walks away 🚶🏻‍♂️

You’d quickly pick up the cat plush and chase after him, giggles tumbling out your lips

and uhm after that you beTTER go check up on your boy and see if his ego wasnt too damaged by that 😤

so of course you’d wrap your arms around him from behind, tucking your face into the back of his neck ): and pressing gentle kisses where you know he’s ticklish until he finally relents, a small grin and dimple lighting up his face

and phEW because you thought he was upset ): but he laughs and says youre better at the claw machine than he is so,, all good dont worry !! 🥺

It’d end up being him taking the cat plush home, which you both name ‘jungwon-two’ because of how much it actually looks like him 😭

Expect many references and inside jokes to that date and jungwon-two in the future

and tbh you love dates with won so so much. theyre so fun plus they’re always secret.

and whenever you’re out doing whatever the hell you both get up to,

It’s like there is no one else in the world. It’s just you, and him, and the blooming you both feel in your chests.

Niki

I don’t know but I can just see niki as being so romantic

You’re both young, and although niki is the biggest dork and always likes to play around and make jokes 24/7 - he’s also so mature compared to the other boys your age

So would he take you out to a date where he’d set up classically romantic candles and rose petals for you both to eat at for your 1 month anniversary? Yes ):

And you’d be so speechless and shocked as you blush quietly and thank him before he‘s accidentally knocking over his glass of water all over the table cloth and you’re laughing out loud

But expect every other date with him to be filled with so so much food and comfort!

He’d feel so comfy around you, and really the only word he thinks is perfectly able to describe you is home. He thinks you feel like home to him.

So he’d show you all of this favourite things, the things closest to his heart and you can’t help but feel your own heart clench at how much you adore this boy

He’d take you out to traditional Japanese restaurants and show you his favourite foods from back home and teach you the customs of how to eat sushi

You’d 100% be so so interested and excited whenever he reveals to you a vulnerable part of him, and he’d stare at you so lovingly as he kisses your cheek, blushing and smiling like the 15 year old he is

Ugh ): niki ):

Dance dates!!

You claim you can’t dance to save your life LMFAO (or maybe you can 😳?) but he only grins shyly instead as he takes you to a small dance studio he rented (he didn’t want to take you the belift building where there would be other people - he’d want you to feel completely comfortable).

You’d simply stand there with your mouth dropped open as you watch him freestyle to a random song he put on like it’s nothing

You’d spend the day getting taught some moves by him and although you’re sure you look like a cat getting electrocuted, he still smiles and  nods and even claps, giving you compliments and teasing remarks

Overall, dates with niki are so so fun and goofy and perfect. You feel your heart swell every time he takes you out on another little adventure, feeling so complete and carefree between his warm hugs, jokes and words that he has to say to you

(’:

[taehyungs-perm]

strawberry girl pt 5

taehyung x reader; college au; childhood best friends to lovers au; jock!fratboy taehyung

genre: fluff; major angst lol

word count: 16k

summary: i can pretend i don’t miss you. i can pretend i dont care. all i want to do is kiss you. what a shame you’re not here.

Part 1 here ; Part 2 here; part 3 here; part 4

playlist vibes

fuck it i love you | lana del ray 

still with you | jk

la vie en rose | edith piaf 

the remedy of a broken heart | xxxtentacion 

cant help falling in love with you | kina grannis 

sweet night | v

cherry hill | russ

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

All of the days had pretty much begun to blend together. There was no difference between morning and night. You just sat in your room, shades drawn, binging TV shows and movies. After the first night, you began to cry in random spurts. It would go a bit something like this: you would be staring at the cereal swirling in the milk and burst into tears because your heart would just seize up in pain; you would focus on the spinning of your ceiling fan before you would realize the tears were spilling out of your eyes; you would tear up as you scrolled through your camera photos just to see his face. Every ounce of your being missed him but there was no way in hell you could face him, not after that night. 

You had blocked his number when he began to text and call you after a week. You had hoped he would never contact you, but that wasn’t the case. 

Tae: hey

Tae: can we talk

Tae: I’m sorry 

Tae: can we stay friends 

Tae: missed call (5)

Tae: why r u ignoring me

Tae: u fucked it up

Tae: not me

Tae: I’m sorry that was uncalled for

Tae: can we talk 

Tae: pls 

Every time his name popped up on your phone screen, you felt like throwing your phone against the wall. It was after a few days of this when you realized you couldn’t take it anymore. You just wanted him out of your life. It became much easier to deal with the pain once you weren’t bombarded by messages from him.

You laid on your bed, with Gossip Girl mindlessly playing in the background, thinking about him. Before the break started, you and Taehyung talked about all of the things you wanted to do since this was the first time in a long time where it would be you two alone at home: have picnics, go ice skating, watch movies all night. All of that, gone to shit. Just cause you fucking had to tell him about your feelings. 

Your mom had enough of you lying in your bed all day and forced you to get out of your room. It just ended up with you lying on the living room couch all day instead. You had just gotten a copy of “Freedom is a Constant Struggle” by Angela Davis but you felt like your brain was mush and couldn't bring yourself to read it. One morning, your parents tried convincing you to come shopping and get some fresh air but you felt like you had no energy to do so. You laid on the couch, face squished on a pillow, curled up in a blanket, completely not comprehending the episode of gossip girl you had switched on. The doorbell rang and you groaned, barely shifting, not wanting to answer the door. The doorbell rang again and you rolled off the couch, annoyed. You tried peering through the side window to see who was at your door bothering you. Then you heard loud rapid knocks. Ugh who the fuck is knocking at my door and why aren’t they leaving? 

You reluctantly opened the door, still wrapped in your blanket, completely prepared to yell at whoever was annoying the shit out of you, but when you saw him standing there, every thought in your head completely disappeared, your heart completely dropping. 

Your voice broke, “Taehyung?”

He looked at you, peering at your eyes behind his shaggy curly strands of hair, shivering in his jacket and sweatpants, “__________”. His voice was shaking, as if he was scared.

You wanted to slam the door on his face, but the way his big brown eyes were staring at you, full of innocence, you knew you couldn’t bring yourself to do that. You couldn’t help but wonder, did he not get the message? And why does he even want to talk to you? 

“What do you want?” you asked, sternly. 

“Can we talk? please?”

“Taehyung, please, leave me alone. please.” You tried to close the door but he stepped forward and held the door open with his hand.

“You blocked my number. I can't even contact you anymore. Can I just have this at least? Can we just talk once more?” he pleaded. His eyes were filled with a sadness that you couldn’t quite understand. You desperately just wanted to reject him just like he did to you, but you couldn’t. He was and always would be your weakness. Seeing him, standing here in front of you, doe eyed and heartbroken because of your actions made you hate yourself even more. You would rather have your heart broken a thousand times than to see him in pain. 

“Okay. we can talk,” you whispered softly. 

You didn't want to let him in though. You just leaned on the doorframe, staring at him as the wind sent shivers up your spine. 

“Why are you ignoring me again? I told you not to do that. Ignoring me doesn’t do anything.”

“I needed space. And I still do.”

“Space from me?” he stepped closer to you. His closeness made you uneasy. You glanced up into his eyes, and there were stone cold seriousness. You hadn’t seen Taehyung like this in a while. For all the talk of you thinking Taehyung was adorable and cute, he could be just as intimidating. The look in his eyes made you almost scared. 

“Yes.” you breathed out, trying to match his serious tone.

“Are you mad at me?”

“I’m not mad at you, just at myself…because I knew this would happen, but I let myself fall in love with you anyways.”

“I'm sorry.”

“There's nothing to be sorry about. It's just I should have known better. It's what happens to people like me. And this is why I don’t let myself fall in love.”

“___________ don't let this ruin you. Don’t let me fuck up everything you believed in. You’ll fall in love again.”

“Taehyung. I’ve been in love with you for years. I just never had the guts to say it. I dunno if I'll fall in love again because my heart belongs to you. I didn’t choose to give it to you and it fucking kills me to admit it,” you felt tears welling up in your eyes. Your voice began to crack, shaking from the tears, “but my heart is yours and you don’t even want it.”

Taehyung had been staring at the ground, scared to make eye contact with you. But once you said those words, he looked up at you, his eyes trembling, “_________ I like you. okay? Please don't forget that. You're my best friend.”

You looked deep into his eyes and shook your head softly, “Taehyung, Stop looking at me like you want me because we both know you don’t. I know you don’t feel the same way, but I wish you did.” 

“_______ I told you, I just don't know right now. I just don't know how I feel about you but maybe if you give me time I could fi-“

You cut him off, not wanting to hear any bullshit, “Don’t fuck with my feelings just because you’re unsure of yours. I didn’t mean to fall in love but I did. And you didn’t mean to hurt me but you did. Try to understand how I feel.”

Taehyung took another step towards you, his hand came up to your face, resting on your cheek as he wiped a falling tear, “Why do you need space from me? Why do you need to cut me off completely?”

You pushed his hand away, feeling annoyed at his words. All of this was bullshit. Taehyung doesn’t care about you. He broke your heart and he was just acting now. He just pretends to care but really he doesn’t give a shit about you. 

You furrowed your eyebrows in anger, “I just want to fucking get over you okay? Like Taehyung, you have no idea what you do to me. The way my heart goes completely erratic. The way that one look from you is all that I need to smile. I can’t think around you. Because all I think about it is you. I don’t think...I’m capable of being just friends with you. At least not for a long time. Maybe that’s selfish but that’s all I’m asking of you. I’m not asking you to love me because I know you can’t do that. So just give me space.”

He was quiet, not saying a single word. You sighed out your last few thoughts, “You don’t love me the way I love you. And I know you never will. And that’s okay. But understand that just being friends with you and seeing you everyday is a reminder that you don’t love me.”

Taehyung scoffed, kicking his foot against the door frame, “Why did you do that? Why did you have to tell me your feelings? Why did you fuck it up?”

Your lip trembled. You already felt like shit, like the biggest idiot on the planet for thinking he could love you back, and now he was just shoving your mistakes right back in your face, “Why did you kiss me? You keep saying I fucked it up! I didn’t, you did! If you just didn’t fucking kiss me, then this wouldn’t have happened. So why the fuck did you kiss me?”

He took a step back, shocked at your outburst. His voice faltered, coming out weak and soft, “I..I..I dunno. I don’t know.” 

You scoffed, “You want me in your life, but I can’t do that. You’re asking too much of me. You’re asking me to pretend these feelings I have for you are insignificant. Something that can be stored away as if they didn’t matter. But it did matter. To me.” You stepped towards him, feeling a bit reckless but fuck it right? you had nothing else to lose. you just wanted the truth from him. You asked, your voice icy, “Do I even matter to you?”

He looked at you, confused, “Of course you matter to me. You're my everything.”

You couldn't help but let out a cold laugh, “The things you say sometimes make me feel like I actually have a chance with you, but then I snap back to reality and realize I never really did.”

Taehyung looked at you with defeated eyes. You looked at him and saw that he knew he had done things and said things that he couldn’t take back. 

His eyes were now puffy and bloodshot. His voice croaked, “So where does this leave us? We go back to ignoring each other? You pretend I don't exist and I do the same to you?”

You sighed as you walked back to your front door. you turned to look at him before you shut the door close, “It's for the best Taehyung.”

You closed the door, not waiting to see if he had left your porch. You sat on the ground, back against the door as tears collected in your eyelashes. You know you really love someone when you don’t hate them for breaking your heart

———————————————————————————————————

You left later than planned, purposefully just so you could avoid traveling with Taehyung or even running into him by accident on campus. When you got back to school, Hana was out with Jungkook so you began to unpack, trying to distract yourself. You had told her a little bit about what happened, that you told him how you felt but he didn't reciprocate. You definitely made it seem you weren’t as torn up about it as you actually were, avoiding her FaceTime calls so she couldn’t see your bloodshot eyes. 

You slumped on your bed, scrolling through an academic paper you were attempting to read for class but you couldn’t focus. His fucking smile, his fucking laugh, his fucking curly hair, it was all swimming in your mind and you couldn’t stop thinking about him. 

You felt your eyes well up with tears and shut your laptop. You laid down on your bed and buried yourself in your blankets. You drifted off to sleep, exhausted from being so emotionally drained. 

You jolted awake when you felt a hand on your shoulder. 

“__________.”

“Whatttt?” You groaned as rolled over and saw Hana sitting on the edge of your bed. You rubbed your eyes and broke out into a smile when you saw your roommate, “Hana!”

She gave you a hug and gave you a concerned look, “How are you?”

You felt your words get caught in your throat, immediately feeling tears well up in your eyes, “I’m okay. Dunno why I can/t stop crying.” 

Hana rubbed your shoulder soothingly, “You just lost one of your best friends. Your heart got completely broken. It’s okay to cry __________.”

“I’m so fucking stupid. I wish I didn't give him this power to hurt me,” you whispered softly.

“Hey, it's okay ___________. I'm so proud of you. You worked up the courage to tell him how you feel. And what you feel matters, so you shouldn’t feel bad about it, okay?”

You shook your head. You couldn’t even explain your heartbreak to Hana. Because she wouldn’t understand. You wouldn’t wish this kind of pain on anyone. Unrequited love doesn’t just make you feel sad. It breaks you down. It preys on your deepest insecurities and leaves you hollow and empty. Because in the end, it was you. You were the problem, you were the reason why it didn’t work out. It's not even that he was in love with someone else. It was simply that he didn't love you. 

Hana spoke cautiously, “What exactly did he say when you told him?”

You tried to recall but your mind was a bit foggy as you tried to mentally block out that day, “Um, well he said he doesn’t love me that way. And that he was confused about his feelings.”

“He said he was confused?”

“Yea,”

“Hmm. it's a weird word choice but…”

“But what?”

“Im sorry ___________. I'm going to be honest with you, just so it doesn’t hurt more later. When a guy says they’re confused, they probably don't have feelings at all and are just trying to be nice. That's the only thing not complicated about them. If a guy likes a girl, he won’t hide it and say he is confused.”

“I’m fucking crazy to think he was into me” you said, tears slowly rolling down your cheeks.

“Do you still love him?” 

“Yea”

“How much?” 

“Why does it matter?” You retorted coldly, staring at your blankets.

She responded in a soft tone, “Why does it not?” 

You met her eyes, “Because he doesn’t love me back” 

“If you still love him, then you can't be around him right now. But you shouldn’t regret your feelings towards him. I know it doesn’t seem like it right now, but you’ll get through this.”

You fiddled with your hands, trying to steady your breathing, “It’s unfathomable. I can’t possibly envision a future with him loving me the way I want him to. But I can't get rid of this feeling, that somewhere deep inside me, I still have hope that he’ll fall for me.  It’s pathetic really, how much I still hope it’s him and me in the end.”

She put her arm around your shoulder, pulling you into her embrace, “It's not pathetic. You love him, its okay to want him. But I promise you, you’ll get through this, and I'll be there for you the entire time. You are such an amazing person, you are kind and smart and if he can’t see that, then fuck him.”

you laughed humorlessly, “Thanks Hana.” You paused and then whispered hoarsely, “I wish love was perfect as love itself.”

“it will be. Once you find the one. It will all feel so easy and natural when you find your actual love.”

It was silent for a few moments and then she looked at your puffy eyes, “Are you feeling better?”

You sniffled and nodded, “I’ll be fine.”

“How do you know that?” she asked seriously. 

You glanced at the window, seeing the rain droplets slide down the window pane, “Because my whole life I’ve been in love with someone who doesn’t love me back. It’s nothing new.”

“Boys are fucking stupid” Hana said, shaking her head.

“So fucking stupid.” 

———————————————————————————————————

Hana did her best to keep you distracted, walking with you to class, eating meals with you, hanging out with you on the weekends, always going to the library with you. Jungkook tagged along most of the time but only after Hana asked you if it was okay. Seeing Jungkook did remind you of Taehyung, but his presence didn't bother you too much since he was always cracking jokes to make you smile. 

You didn't see Taehyung around campus at all. It was like he was a ghost, completely gone from your life. It almost made it worse because then you yearned to see him, just to see his cute smile, to hear his adorable laugh. You missed his annoying headass personality that made your heart flutter, you missed the way you could talk to him about anything and everything because he actually listened, you missed being the person he could trust the most to talk to about his feelings. 

Sometimes you got these heart aches, you could physically feel yourself falling apart at the seams. And it just hurt. It hurt to breathe, to think, to feel. And you didn’t know what hurt the most: The fact that he wasn’t in your life anymore and you won’t ever see his doe eyes and boxy smile again or the fact that you weren’t enough for him and that you’ll never be enough for him. 

 The pain of him just not being in your life was worse than you could ever imagine. Then, that combined with the realization your love was unrequited made you feel like you weren't ever going to get through this. 

You sat on the first floor of the library with Hana, working through some biology worksheets to prepare for class. Hana was talking to you about the new boba place on campus, “They have the best green milk tea.”

“Damn I miss boba. I haven’t had it in so long.”

“Lets go right after this. They have a bunch of flavors.”

You nodded, feeling weirdly excited for just boba. 

“Hi” you heard a voice say.

You looked up and saw Jennie. 

“Hi?” you said, very confused. 

She smoothed out her pink tennis skirt and sat down on the seat next to you, “Can we talk?”

“About?”

“Him.”

You glanced at Hana, who was also clearly uncomfortable. You really didn't want to talk to her about Taehyung but Hana gave you a small nod.

“Fine.”

Jennie looked at Hana uneasily, “Can we talk alone?”

You crossed your arms defensively, “Anything you have to say to me, Hana can hear it too.”

Hana put her hand on your shoulder reassuringly, “It’s okay. You should talk to her alone. I'll be by the vending machines in the back. Come and find me when you're done talking.”

She got up after giving you a smile.

You sighed deeply, facing Jennie, “So what’s up?”

“What happened? With you and Taehyung?”

“That's literally none of your business. Did he tell you something?”

She looked concerned, “No. Well. Kinda. Not really. After we all got back to campus, Taehyung didn't text me or call me. Which is strange because he usually calls or texts around every two weeks or so to hook up. But once we got back, he didn't respond to any of my messages. So I went over to his dorm.”

“And?”

“And he looked like shit. Like he hadn't slept or showered or eaten properly. I tried asking him what happened but he just told me to leave and not to come back. I ran into Jimin on the way out. He said you two had a falling out and Taehyung has been a wreck since. Tae has barely left his room, only for school and soccer and thats with Jimin and his other friends forcing him to.”

What? What was going on with him? Was he really this affected by your friendship? That didn't make any sense you guys had only recently become friends. Surely he could easily just resume his lifestyle to when you guys weren’t close. 

You looked at Jennie, “I told him that I loved him. And he said he didn’t love me. I said we couldn’t be friends, at least not for a while. I guess he didn't take it well.”

You thought Jennie would just laugh in your face or say “I told you so”, but she didn't. She pulled you into a side hug, “Oh honey, I'm so sorry. I’m sorry. I know how it feels.”

“Did you ever tell him how you felt?”

She laughed softly, “I didn’t. I was too scared. I knew he would reject me. I guess I was scared of losing him, even just as a fuck buddy. So I just quietly pined over him from a distance.”

You chuckled, “You and me both.”

“I kinda admire that you had the guts to tell him how you felt. If he didn't have feelings for you, there's no possible way he ever liked me.”

You scoffed, “I'm sure he has feelings for you. You're so beautiful. And nice. And pretty. There's no way he didn't like you.”

“__________, you know you're beautiful too. I was actually always jealous of you.”

You were completely shocked, “Jealous of me?”

“Yes! No matter where we were, you could always get Taehyung's attention without even trying. I had to literally climb on top of him to get him to even think about me. Sorry about that by the way.”

“You don't have to be sorry about that. It's not a big deal. Honestly boys are so fucking stupid. I don't know why we let him use us and hurt us so much.”

“Exactly. I hope...we can be friends. Like for real.”

You nodded, “I'm sorry too. I was kinda a bitch to you.”

“Like you said, it's not a big deal. that's all in the past.” 

Jennie got up and smiled at you. She paused for a moment, looking at you carefully, “By the way, you mean a lot to Taehyung. I know you're upset at him right now but maybe you can consider being friends with him in awhile.”

She stalked away leaving you in your thoughts. It was still too soon. But you felt better. Some of your sadness that you felt for yourself went away, transforming into a sort of anger and annoyance at Taehyung: he used girls like you and Jennie all the time and would play with their feelings just so he could feel good about himself. Fuck boys. 

———————————————————————————————————

You were sitting on the picnic benches near the soccer field like how you used to do, but now Taehyung doesn’t come and sit next to you. The peacefulness of being outdoors allowed you to finally focus on your work without any distractions. As you were studying your statistics homework, you heard someone call your name. You looked up and it was Jimin's smiling face.

“Hey ___________!”

“Hey” you said quietly. You were a bit surprised to see Jimin talking to you. You kinda figured whatever friendship you two had was gone once you and Taehyung stopped talking.

“Are you doing the stats homework?” He said walking over to you, both his backpack and soccer bag slung over his shoulder.

“Um yea,” you said, shifting uneasily. Why was he talking to you? If he was here to talk about Taehyung, you were going to get up and leave. You really weren’t emotionally or mentally prepared to talk about him with one his closest friends.

“I was actually having some trouble with the assignment. Could you help me with it?” He said, dropping his bags on the picnic table.

“Uh sure I guess,” you mumbled out as he sat next to you. Jimin gave you his signature beautiful smile and you felt terrible because all you could offer was your half hearted one. He pulled out his notes and you began to help him with a few of his questions. 

Being around Jimin was actually immensely helpful. He successfully distracted you with his cute jokes and charming personality. After about an hour or so, you realized you should be heading back to your dorm so you stood and began to pack up your things. 

“___________?”

“Yeah?”

“I was wondering...” he looked a bit nervous, giving you a shy smile, “I was wondering if you want to get dinner together tomorrow?”

You blinked. Was Park Jimin asking you out? What? What the fuck was going on?

“You want to get dinner...with me?” You asked, confused.

He laughed, “Yes I want to. Do you want to...with me?”

Was this a prank or something? Did he want something from you? 

“Wait is this like a study dinner thing with a group?” You asked, very unsure.

Jimin chuckled again as he ran his hand through his brown hair, “No _________, this isn’t a study dinner thing with a group. I want to get dinner with just you with no studying involved.”

You fiddled with the end of your hair, trying to process what he was saying, “Is this a date or...” 

“It can be whatever you want. It can be two friends getting food together or it can be something more.”

“Jimin...I dunno. I don’t want anyone to get the wrong idea” you said, thinking of Taehyung.

He put his hand gently on your shoulder, “If you’re upset about Taehyung, I get it. But that’s why I said it can be two friends hanging out.”

You thought about it and pursed your lips. Why do I give a fuck about what Taehyung thinks? He made it clear that we are just friends and that he has no feelings for me. Honestly we aren’t even friends anymore so I don’t give a fuck about what he thinks.

You slung your bag over your shoulder and smiled at Jimin, “You know what? You’re right. We can hang. Just text me later.” 

You wanted to feel confident and happy that you were trying to move on and make plans with people instead of laying in your dorm room bed all day but there was still a nagging feeling of hurt and longing in your heart that didn’t know would ever disappear.

———————————————————————————————————

You wanted to feel the same butterflies you always felt whenever you saw Taehyung, but as you stepped out of your dorm and saw Jimin leaning against his black Audi, wearing sunglasses and a black tee tucked into black skinny jeans, you didn’t feel anything.

He smiled at you, “Hey __________. You look cute.” Again, nothing.

“Thanks. You look pretty good yourself.” You retorted playfully. 

He opened the car door for you and you sat in the car, immediately getting flashbacks to Taehyung's birthday party and how he took you for a joyride in this very car. You smoothed out your black pleated skirt and picked at your leggings hoping you would get distracted and not reminisce over the happiness you felt sitting in this car with Taehyung. 

You and Jimin chatted quietly about your days and your classes before you realized he had parked in front of a small restaurant.

“I actually have been meaning to go here for a while, but never found the time. Or the right person to go with,” Jimin said with a teasing smile as you walked into the restaurant.

Sometimes you would forget that Jimin was just as much as a fuckboi as Taehyung except with more braincells but then he would tease you, just like Taehyung used to, with flirty jokes and seductive smiles and you couldn’t help but roll your eyes at his antics.

As you slurped on your ramen noodles, you found that you and Jimin had more in common than you realized. 

“You watch Gossip Girl?” you said widening your eyes when he lit up at your off hand comment about re binging the show over break.

“Of course! Nate is my literal inspiration!” he exclaimed with a huge smile.

“Nate?” you thought about it for a moment and then continued, “Actually, he’s definitely the least problematic one out of everyone in the show.”

“And…he definitely has the best style.” Jimin added as he sipped his water.

you talked a bit about his winter break and his adventures in europe. 

“So did you go with your family or..” you asked, curious.

“I went with some friends from home. I wanted to get some of the BTS guys to go with me but we decided to go on a group trip for spring break.” 

“Where did you go in Europe?”

“Um, I went to England, then France, then Germany.”

“Oh wow. that's a lot of places,” you commented, a bit surprised since break was only two weeks.

“I dunno. I think traveling is such a great way to relax I guess. Going to new places and experiencing new cultures with friends.”

“That's valid. I guess in my head traveling gives me stress. So did you go sight seeing or just kinda wandered around the city?”

He chuckled, a light blush coming to his cheeks, “Uh, kinda, I guess.”

You wrinkled your eyebrows, not understanding why he was getting flustered, “What? What did you do?”

He ran his hand through his hair, catching a glimpse at how silky his dark brown locks were, “Well, it was like 25 percent sightseeing historical buildings.”

“And the other 75 percent?”

“Sightseeing night clubs” he said laughing.

“So you went to Europe to go to clubs?” you said trying to stifle your laughs.

“In my defense, European clubs are way different so there’s that.”

You raised your eyebrows at him, “And?”

“And what?” he said leaning forward on his arms.

“What about the European girls?”

“Oh fuck off,” Jimin said, averting his eyes and laughing.

“What else should I expect from Park Jimin? European vacation for clubbing and girls.”

“Dude, you make me sound like I'm Chuck Bass,” Jimin countered, his face a complete shade of pink, fully embarrassed at your teasing.

After you two paid for your meals, Jimin walked you over to a cute little cafe next door. You excitedly picked out a slice of strawberry cake, desperately wanting something comforting after feeling alone for the past month while Jimin ordered a coffee. You tried to pay for your own cake but of course Jimin wouldn’t hear of it and paid for it, insisting it was the “gentlemanly” thing to do (you had to roll your eyes at this). 

You two made your way to a picnic table in front of the restaurant, sitting underneath the bright fairy lights hung up outside, giving just enough light in the darkness of the night. He sat across from you, sipping his coffee. You opened up the box that contained the cake and smiled, remembering the good memories you had attached with it. You brushed your hair behind your ear and took a bite.

You offered some to him which he accepted.

“___________, I'm not sure if you want to talk about this yet, but I just wanted to ask how you are doing? Like for real?”

You sighed. You figured he was going to ask you about this at some point tonight, “Okay I guess. I mean not great but i'm going on. It’s whatever I guess” 

“It's not whatever. I'm really sorry that happened to you. It hurts, doesn’t it?”

You nodded softly and whispered out, “It does.” 

You were scared to ask but you knew you couldn’t go home tonight without asking Jimin, “How is he?”

He set his coffee on the table, “Not good. He misses you. A lot.”

Your heart broke at his words. You wished he just told you that Taehyung didn't give a shit. That he was doing great and that he was still fucking Jennie and didnt even notice that you weren’t in his life anymore. 

Part of you didn't believe his words, “Nah. I'm sure he’s fine.”

“No __________ he isn't. He doesn’t go out anymore. He just goes to class and soccer practice. That's it.”

You closed your eyes, processing what Jimin was saying. Why is he so upset? He broke your heart. He made you cry. He made you feel worthless so why is he acting like this? 

“Does he know you’re hanging out with me tonight?”

“Uh no. But I didn't want him to get the wrong idea. You said this was just as friends so there’s no reason for me to tell him and have him get all worked up about it,” Jimin said, shrugging his shoulders. 

You nodded, resting your hands on the picnic table, trying to take deep breaths to calm your nerves.

He stood up and sat next to you, his legs touching yours. He reached over and took your hands in his, “I don't know why he’s so torn up about this whole situation, especially since he broke your heart. I tried telling him that you need space and that it's completely fair of you to not want to be friends for now but he always dodges the conversation. I'll try talking to him again.”

Your voice cracked as you looked at Jimin, Thank you. For being a good friend. For listening to me. For caring about me.”

He put his arm around your shoulder, pulling you into his embrace, “Of course. I just really want you and Taehyung to be okay. Both of you are my friends and I care about you guys a lot.” 

Jimin dropped you off at your dorm and told you to call him if you ever needed anything. You gave him a weak smile and went back to your room, feeling slightly okay.

You laid on your bed and checked Instagram since you hadn’t looked at it in a while. You noticed Jimin had something recently posted which was kinda odd because he rarely posted on his Instagram story and you were just with him. You clicked on his story and your eyes widened when you saw it was a picture of you captioned with a single purple heart. 

It was a photo he took of you sitting across from him at the picnic table. You were smiling at the strawberry cake in front of you. You couldn’t clearly see your face since your hair was somewhat covering it but if anyone knew you, it was very obvious. You were worried for a moment that Taehyung would see it before you remembered you two weren’t on speaking terms anymore. Well, its a cute picture and I had a good time with Jimin tonight so who cares? you thought, shrugging your worries away. 

———————————————————————————————————

The next morning, you woke up feeling better than you had in a long time. The weight that you had been dredging around for the past month or so had felt lighter. You grabbed your baking basket and some strawberries from your fridge, finally feeling the excitement to bake in a long time. You also wanted some time to think; a lot had changed since you came back home from break and you wanted to properly sort out how you were feeling about the whole situation. 

You tied up your hair, and laid out the ingredients to make strawberry muffins. You thought about Jennie as you mixed the flour, baking soda, and salt together. She was hurt too. You never really thought about how she felt in this whole situation, but in her own way, she was dealing with her own personal insecurities. She wanted Taehyung too and you had him in a way she never did. 

You were glad that you two were on friendly terms now because she was a sweet and kind person once you got to actually knowing her. You felt upset at the way Taehyung treated her. He knew her feelings and yet he continued to play with them, just like he played with yours. After hanging out with Jimin, you were also heartbroken to hear that Taehyung’s behavior hadn’t improved. You wanted him to recover just like you were. 

But it seemed like he needed you. And you didn't need him. You wanted him, that was for sure. But you didn’t need him because you were moving on. Each day it was getting easier to breathe and to think clearly. You began to mix the eggs, milk, and vanilla extract into the dry ingredients, slowly stirring as you thought. You paused and realized that you felt empty. Like your heart had finally gone numb. 

As if it were finally exhausted of the roller coaster of emotions you spent with him: anger, jealousy, nervousness, love, happiness. Your heart burned and burned and then suddenly turned to ice. You mixed the chopped up strawberry pieces with flour then added it to the batter. 

It felt nice, not feeling completely overwhelmed with emotions. You thought about what Hana had told you when you came back, that if he couldn’t recognize your worth, then fuck him. And then suddenly you cared even less.  Because the only person’s validation you needed was your own. You evenly divided the batter into 12 equal portions in the muffin tin. You popped the tin into the oven and sat down on the empty chair. 

You didn't need Taehyung's validation, you didn't need his love, to feel complete. You were complete on your own. You still had sadness for him, you still wanted him, but after these past few weeks, you came to the realization that you were enough and that pining and sitting in your room all day, waiting for him wasn’t going to do you any good. You breathed out softly, trying to reassure yourself, “It's going to be fine.”

———————————————————————————————————

“You’ll really come?” Hana asked excitedly.

You were sitting on your bed, relaxing as you attempted to proofread your essay. 

“Ya, I will. I’m not really making any progress with this essay right now. So I'll come.” Hana had been trying to convince you to come to a party all day and you had finally agreed. It had been a while since you went out, especially with the whole situation with Taehyung going on, you rarely left your room. But now, you were feeling much better emotionally and mentally. 

You got ready with Hana, opting for a simple jeans and sweater because it was still cold outside. 

She told you that the party wasn’t at the BTS frat and it calmed your nerves a little. Even though you were feeling better, you didn’t know what you would do if you saw Taehyung. It was still too soon. The wounds he left still hurt. 

“EXO parties are always fucking insane,” Hana raved as you two entered the frat house.

“Why?” you asked curious

“Cuz they rarely have parties but when they do, they go all out.” she said smiling as you looked around. Your eyes widened when you saw a huge tower of beer cans stacked in the middle, a DJ at the front of the house, and several stripper poles.

“What the fuck…” you mumbled as you looked around. 

“Jungkook is here somewhere.” Hana muttered as she led you through the enormous crowd. 

She found Jungkook in the kitchen by drinks, talking with Yoongi and Hobi. The second Jungkook saw Hana he pulled her into a deep kiss. You were really happy for Hana but it stung. Would anyone ever love you like that? You sighed and said hello to Yoongi and Hobi. 

“How is it going _________. Haven’t seen you in awhile.” Hobi said, smiling widely. 

Yoongi elbowed him in the stomach and whispered loudly, “Bro, shut up.”

You laughed awkwardly, “It's okay. I'm fine. just been doing school stuff.”

Yoongi gave you a soft smile, “I'm glad you are doing well. I know it's all complicated but I hope we can all still be friends.”

You nodded, “Of course.”

 Hobi handed you a drink, “Try this.”

You looked in the red solo cup and it was a blue colored drink, “What the fuck is this?”

“There isn’t any alcohol! It's just a blue Hawaiian punch mixed with sprite.”

“That sounds like a heart attack in a cup.” Yoongi said, utterly confused at the combination. 

“I'm telling you, It's good. Try it _________.”

You took a sip and it was very sweet, but not bad tasting. “It's decent. Not terrible,” you said nodding. 

Jungkook came over with Hana wrapped in his hard, “Guys I heard that EXO got strippers for tonight. That’s fucking insane.”

Hana punched his arm and Jungkook exclaimed, “Owww. I never said I was going to do anything about it. Just stating a fact.”

You were laughing at Jungkook’s pure stupidity when someone caught your eye. Your heart stopped. Of course he was here tonight. All his friends were.  You hadn’t seen him since that day on your porch. Then you saw his arm wrapped around her. Then the sadness that was in your heart immediately bloomed into anger. What the fuck? All this fucking talk of not wanting a girlfriend yet he was here with her? 

Hana put a hand on your shoulder, “Do you want to leave? We can go.”

You shook your head, “I'm fine.” 

“I can literally beat his ass right now if you want,” She said aggressively.

Jungkong squeezed Hana’s shoulder, “That's my Hana, lovely and scary.”

You gave her a weak smile, “I'm okay. For real. I just need you to be here for me. Thats all.”

You hadn’t spoken or seen Taehyung since that day on your porch. He looked sad. You could tell. You knew him better than anyone else in your life. He was putting on a mask, pretending like he was happy. But you could see it, the hollowness in his cheeks, the fact that he hadn’t shaved because of all the stubble on his face, his curly hair now long and unruly because he hadn’t gotten a haircut in awhile. He was wearing a simple white shirt tucked into a pair of jeans (unfortunately he still did look hot but you weren’t going to admit that) 

He walked up to you guys with Jennie by his side. He gave you a glance but you didn't meet his eyes, quickly looking away. Jennie gave you a small wave and you returned it. It was kinda ironic because before you would focus on the fact that Jennie was with him but since you guys were friends now, you fixed your annoyance on Taehyung. 

Taehyung and Jennie were talking to the group casually but about five minutes into the conversation, you couldn’t handle it anymore, pretending like everything was fine when it really wasn’t. 

You slowly left the circle and leaned on the drinks table behind your group of friends, exhaling deeply.

Jimin walked over, grinning with his beautiful smile, “Hey”

He leaned against the table, standing right next to you, “Hi”

“Shitty party right?” Jimin said, chuckling.

“It just became shitty” you said, sipping your drink, eyeing Taehyung.

“I don't why he came here with her. He literally hasn’t properly spoken to her or seen her since last semester,” Jimin said sincerely.

“Ya well I don’t give a fuck. He can do whatever he wants. We aren’t even friends anymore,” You said harshly. 

You and Jimin chatted a bit, and you almost forgot your annoyance at Taehyung. Then he walked over, with a stupid smirk on his face, “Excuse me __________ could you move? You’re standing in front of the drinks.”

You glared at him as you sipped your drink cooly, shrugging your shoulders, “Sucks.”

He towered over you, giving you an intimidating stare, slowly biting his lip, “C’mon _______ don’t be a bitch. Just move/”

Jimin stood up straight, “What the fuck did you just say to her?”

Taehyung gave you a cold laugh and raised his eyebrows teasingly, “Wow __________ you really need him to fight your battles?”

You knew that Taehyung was pissed at this point but you wanted to push his buttons further. You spoke in a calm tone, knowing that would make him even more annoyed, “I don’t, but he does have something called manners which is something that you could use.” 

He leaned his face close to yours. You felt his breath tickling your neck as you got a whiff of his cologne, “Aww, I think you’re just salty _________” 

You took a step towards him, not wanting him to get the satisfaction that he could intimidate you, “What could I possibly be salty about?”

Taehyung gave you a cocky smile, “Maybe that I’m here with Jennie. It must sting a little.”

You clenched your jaw. He had stepped over the line now. You knew exactly what he was trying to imply, that he had moved on with her. You were mad because he was once again just using Jennie for his own douchebag reasons. You looked Taehyung directly in the eye and scoffed, “You’re a fucking asshole.” 

He put his hands up defensively, “Calm down _________ no need to make a scene.” 

The amount of anger that flared in you in that moment was unprecedented. You wanted to embarrass him. You wanted to humiliate him. You wanted him to know how you felt right now. 

Then an idea popped in your head. You gave him a small smile and spoke in a sweet, innocent voice, “Oh my gosh you’re right Taehyung. I shouldn’t make a scene.”

Then you dumped your entire blue drink on his white shirt and smiled. Taehyung's eyes widened as he looked at his ruined shirt and Jimin gasped in shock. The second you dropped your drink onto Taehyung, Jennie turned around and laughed at what you did. Taehyung's eyes met yours and you realized you might have gone too far. His eyes were dangerous and dark. But if you were going to be honest, it felt really fucking good to do that. 

You shrugged and said sweetly, “Oops” 

Taehyung growled, “What the fu-“

You crushed the red solo cup you were still clutching against his chest and let it drop to the ground, “Calm down Tae you wouldn’t want to make a scene, right?”

You smirked at him and walked away. You could hear Yoongi and Hobi laughing while Jimin was trying to apologize for your behavior. 

Hana was able to find you on the couch a few minutes later.

She was laughing as she sat down next to you, “___________ that was so fucking hilarious.”

“I knew you would appreciate it.”

“It was good. I thought it was funny.”

You knew something was up because she had a concerned look in her eyes

“But...?” You asked cautiously 

“How long is this going to go on between you and Taehyung?”

“What do you mean?”

“I mean you guys used to be best friends. Are you guys just going to hate each other from now on?”

“I’m not the one who needs to make amends. He was an asshole to me.”

“Both of you need to make amends. You guys just need to talk. I’m not saying you guys should be besties again or anything but I think you guys need to learn how to be civil with one another. This shit can’t keep happening every time you see each other.”

“I’m not talking to him Hana.” You said forcefully.

She sighed and got up, defeated. After a few minutes she came back with a huge smile.

“Oh my gosh __________ I need to tell you something!” 

“What?”

“We need to go somewhere private. No one else can hear,” She said tugging you from the couch.

You tried asking her questions as she dragged you but Hana wouldn’t budge.

She opened a door that revealed to be a closet and said, “Perfect. Let’s go in here.”

Hana pushed you in the closet and closed the door behind you two.

“Okay what’s going on Hana?”

She glanced at her phone as if she were waiting for a text or something, “oh um so...Jungkook told me that he loves me.”

“Really? Oh my gosh! Well, how do you feel about it?”

“Oh I told him I loved him back.”

“Did you mean it? Do you actually love him?”

“Of course! He’s kinda stupid but he’s so caring and he loves me so much.”

You wrinkled your eyebrows, confused, “Okay so what’s the problem? Why did you drag me into a closet to tell me this?”

Her phone buzzed, “I’ll be right back __________. Jungkook just texted me. Just stay right here, don’t leave.” She said as she left the closet, leaving you in the darkness.

You tapped your foot impatiently wondering what Hana was up to.

You heard hurried, rushed voices and then the door of the closer swung open. You heard a very familiar deep voice exclaim, “What the fuck Jimin? Why are you pushing me Into this closet?” 

The closet door slammed shut. 

You rolled your eyes, “You have got to be fucking with me.”

“___________?” Taehyung asked from the darkness next to you. 

You banged on the door, “Hana I swear to god let me out right now.”

You heard her muffled voice, “No! You guys need to talk!”

Taehyung pounded on the door next to you, “Jimin I’m not fucking around. Open the door. Now.”

Jimin's voice sounded strained, “I’m sorry guys! But this is good for you! You guys need to figure your shit out.”

You sighed, leaning against the door, “I hate both of you.”

Taehyung whispered out hoarsely, breaking the silence “This is your fucking fault.”

You turned to face him, shocked at his accusation, “My fault? How is this my fault? You were the one being a complete douchebag!” 

“You dumped your drink on me!” Taehyung exclaimed, pulling at his now blue stained shirt. 

You stabbed your finger in his chest,“You were the one who was being rude first!”

“You went out with my best friend!” 

You went quiet. What? Is he talking about Jimin? That was a while ago and even so, he has no right to care about who I go out with!

“Are you talking about Jimin?” You asked, annoyed.

“Who else posted you on their story with heart captions?” he scoffed.

“First of all, it's none of your business who I spend my time with. And second, not that it even matters, Jimin and I are just friends.”

He taunted, “Yea I’ve heard that one before.”

“Why the fuck do you even care Taehyung? We aren’t together, we aren’t even friends.”

He paused, trying to think of an answer, “Whatever. I don’t care. Do whatever you want. I just thought you were better than that.”

“Better than what? I'm so confused. I dont get why you are so angry with me. If anything, I'm the one who has the right to be angry right now.”

“You? Why do you get to be angry?”

“Because you broke my heart! And you're shoving it in my face. You're literally mocking my feelings. First you told me that my first kiss didn't matter, that it was only a kiss and I was making too much of it. And now you're here with Jennie, asking me if I feel jealous of her! Like how the fuck should I respond to that? All of your shitty actions made me realize that you don’t give a fuck about me and my feelings. I’m moving on from you Taehyung. You don’t want my love so I’m trying to move the fuck on. Isn’t this what you want?” You gasped out, holding back the tears forming in your eyes. You just had to let it all out, all of your hurt feelings that had been building up for the past couple of months. 

He wasn’t looking at you, just staring at the wooden floors of the closet, “I dunno. I just never thought you would just start talking to new guys already. I thought you wanted love.”

“I’m not the romantic you think I am. I’m not looking for someone to make me complete or to make me feel like I’m worth something. I am complete on my own and I know my worth. I just want to be with someone who can give me the same amount of love and appreciate I have finally figured out how to give myself.”

He made eye contact with you finally, “So what, we’re just going to cut each other off? Completely? Don’t you want me?”

You breathed out, leaning against the door, “I want you but I want you to want me too. I fucking miss you all day every day and you can’t even imagine how pathetic it makes me feel because I don’t even know if you miss me back.”

His shoulder brushed against yours, his voice hoarse, “I've been a shitty friend. I'm sorry. I am really, really fucking sorry. We shouldn’t have kissed. I shouldn’t have kissed you. I don't regret it but I regret what it did to us. I regret how I acted afterwards. I’m so immature. I don't have feelings for Jennie. The only reason why I came tonight is because she told me you were coming. And I knew I just had to see you. But then when I saw you with Jimin, I just felt so jealous. Because that should have been me, we should have been here tonight, hanging out. But I fucked up. You told me you wanted those moments to be meaningful and I stole it from you. And that can’t be replaced. You deserve better than me, okay? But I want you back. I want us to be friends again. Because I’m fucking falling apart without you. I miss you so much. Please, can you forgive me? Can we be friends again?”

You looked into his huge brown doe eyes and your heart did a flip flop. Fuck I still love him. Even though pretending to not love him was exhausting, completely having him out of your life hurt a thousand times worse. God you were the biggest headass on the planet. 

You cringed at your own words, “Yea Tae, we can be friends.” 

He pulled you into a huge hug and didn't let go. You could feel your heart breaking in your chest, you could never tell him how much he’s hurt you. 

———————————————————————————————————

You felt like you were getting a literal migraine because of the deja vu you were experiencing, again. Pretending to be friends with Taehyung while secretly pining for him. It had been around a month or so since you two had reconciled and agreed to be friends again. 

But you still found yourself staring at him for too long when you sat at the picnic benches to do work, you still found your heart beating too fast whenever he would lean in close to you, you still found yourself in love with him. 

However, it was different this time because there was no ‘what if’ or ‘maybe’. He didn't love you the way you wanted him to. If you were going to be honest, you did appreciate knowing this. It made it easier to try to move on. Taehyung did have one thing wrong: you weren’t talking to new guys. Your method of moving on consisted of trying to remember the hurt things he did to you to stop yourself from falling further in the pit of despair. But for him, you could pretend like you were happy when you were actually sad; for him, you could pretend like you were strong when you were actually hurt. 

You were pretty sure he thought you didn't love him anymore. He acted completely normal around you, going on as if you two hadn’t had the biggest fall out in your friendship. It helped, you guessed, pretending. It was something you were both good at. 

You were sitting on your bed when your phone buzzed. It was a snap from Taehyung. You opened and groaned when you saw his snapchat. Taehyung had the infuriating habit of sending suggestive snaps. It was almost always a blurry selfie, very clearly indicating that he was shirtless (he told you he didn't see a reason to wear a shirt if he was in the comfort of his own room). You couldn’t help but feel your heart skip a beat when you caught a glimpse of his well defined collarbones. It was so on brand of him, to tease you like this. Luckily, he did have something actual to say and it wasn’t just a shirtless snap. 

He added the caption r u busy Saturday.

There was a nagging thought in your head that you had something planned on Saturday but you couldn’t remember. 

You snapped back a picture of your ceiling uhh I don’t think so.

Right away he responded (with another blurry selca) come to the soccer banquet w me

Oh shit. The soccer banquet. You had completely forgotten. Jimin had told you about the banquet last week while you two were waiting for biology class to start. He asked you if you wanted to go with him. You said maybe but Jimin told you that Taehyung was planning on asking you. Going with Jimin immediately sounded like a better option. You really just wanted to maintain some sort of distance from Taehyung, it made it easier to ignore the heartbreak. You ended up agreeing to go with Jimin as friends. 

you typed i kinda forgot but jimin actually asked me to go w him and i said ok.

he sent a clear picture of his face, his curly hair looking very fluffy oh, ok. have fun.

Fuck he was definitely mad. You nervously bit your lip, thinking if you should go with Taehyung and cancel with Jimin. 

You: taehyung just asked me about Saturday. He seemed kinda annoyed that I was going w u

Jimin: ah that makes sense. I just walked into the kitchen and he was eating my leftover dumplings.

You: I don’t want him to be upset. 

You: ugh maybe I just won’t go

Jimin: he just gets pouty sometimes it’s not a big deal

You: what if he shows up w a date? idk if i wanna see that

Jimin: it'll be ok. He might not even go anymore. I’ll tell u if he says anything 

You tried to occupy yourself with homework and studies so you wouldn’t frantic over the banquet. By the time the banquet day rolled around, Jimin heard nothing from Taehyung. He tried to reassure you that there was little chance Taehyung would actually show up since he hadn’t talked to any of the BTS members about it.

Hana also tried to calm your nerves as she helped you get ready but she had to leave you a bit early so she could help Jungkook (apparently the man was incapable of knotting a bowtie). She told you that she would finish her makeup and get dressed at his room so she would see you there.

You stared at yourself in the mirror, trying to think in positive thoughts. You were attempting to follow through on your mindset change and trying not to only focus on your insecurities. You combed through the loose waves in your hair, adjusting your soft pink tulle skirt. Jimin texted you that he was outside so you left your room quickly, just wanting for this night to be over already. 

He flashed his gorgeous smile at you, opening the car door for you, “You look so pretty __________.”

You gave him a weak smile, knowing he was just saying that to be nice, “Thank you Jimin. You look good too. I like your sunglasses.” 

He walked around to the other side of the car and drove to the banquet. Once you got there, you realized this event was insanely fancy. Since the BTS guys won the championship, they were essentially the guests of honor, with a few other teams receiving recognition for their own achievements. Jimin explained to you the different awards that would be presented tonight and told you a bit about the other teams. When he kept on droning on about the different roles of the midfielder position, you glanced around the large hall, a bit bored from Jimin’s monologue when you spotted him. I thought he wasn’t coming! He was alone, hands shoved in his pocket, walking coolly.

You internally groaned when you felt your heart skip a beat when you saw his fluffy hair. He was wearing black slacks, a soft pink collared shirt, and a white coat jacket with a black carnation pinned to it (191029 Taehyung). Once again, your thoughts immediately ran to “oh shit he’s hot.” His eyes met yours for a split second and you pretended not to see him, turning to listen back into Jimin’s lecture on soccer. 

After 15 more minutes of explaining the technicalities of shooting a goal, Jimin patted your shoulder softly, “I’ll go get us some drinks. I’ll be back.” 

You nodded at him and looked for Hana. You saw her sitting at a table with Jungkook so you walked over, not wanting to bump into Taehyung. 

“Hey!” She said giving you a hug. Hana looked stunning as always. She was wearing a deep red, long silk dress with a slit running from Her upper thigh.  You saw that Jungkook's bowtie matched her dress. 

You smiled at her, “How do you get prettier Hana? It’s not fair for the rest of us plebs.”

“Shut up. You look gorgeous. Trying to impress someone tonight?” She said teasingly, looking in the direction of Jimin.

You chuckled “oh no. We’re just friends. He asked me here as friends.”

She looked unconvinced, “Rightt.” 

You heard a voice go “ahem” behind you. You turned around at the sound of the familiar voice and saw Taehyung smirking at you. 

“Hey _________”

“Oh. Hey. “ You said nonchalantly.  

“Where’s Jimin?” Taehyung's eyes sparkled mischievously .

“He went to go get me a drink. He’s such a gentleman.” you said, trying to push his buttons a bit. 

He smiled, playing along with your game, “Of course. Except for the fact that he’s never had a steady relationship. And that he’s even more of a fuckboi than me.”

You rolled your eyes, “Taehyung you should probably go back to your date.”

He leaned in close, his breath tickling your neck and whispered huskily “You’re cute when you're jealous.”

Your face immediately reddened and you got up hastily, “Jimin’s probably waiting for me.” 

He pulled your arm back to face him, “If you must know, I came alone tonight. The only girl who I wanted to go with conveniently already had a date for tonight.”

You retorted back, snarkily, “If you must know, Jimin asked me properly, not the day before and through snapchat.”

You stormed away, infuriated at your own feelings and how you easily could fall for his one liners. You found Jimin talking with Namjoon, his girlfriend, and Yoongi. He smiled when he saw you, “Oh sorry. I just got a bit caught up. I have your drink.” He gave you a clear glass with a pink liquid, “It’s punch. No alcohol. Don’t worry.” 

Namjoon was talking about how he did not want to TA for biology lab next semester since the experience was a bit traumatizing, dealing with frantic and stressed out students at very inconvenient hours (you definitely being one of those students). Yoongi berated him for even signing up for such a draining job along with soccer and studies.

You spotted Taehyung from the corner of your eye, slowly inching into the conversation, first talking to Yoongi then Namjoon and his girlfriend. 

You were trying to focus on what Jimin was saying but you found yourself listening in Taehyung's conversation. 

You overheard him talking casually, “Yea I’m thinking about shaving my head. It’s just my hair has gotten way too long and curly. I can’t manage it” 

Your heart stopped. Not the curly hair. You were literally obsessed with his hair, and he knew it.  

You burst out from across the conversation, “Oh my god don’t touch your hair!”

He smirked and winked at you and you closed your eyes in embarrassment: you gave him exactly what he wanted, your attention.

Yoongi laughed “Damn __________ really likes your hair then Taehyungie. Guess you can’t cut it now.”

You felt your face redden even more when Jimin laughed at Yoongi's comment. 

Ugh Taehyung was pushing all your buttons. You walked away, annoyed at his behavior. You found a spot where there were little to no people and leaned on the cool marble wall, just observing the party from a distance. You saw Jungkook and Hana on the dance floor. Once again, you couldn’t help but feel a tad bit jealous. You wanted that and you wanted it with Taehyung. Hana threw her head back in laughter as Jungkook attempted to dance with her. 

“He’s always been shit at slow dancing,” You heard the voice behind you say. You already knew he would come and find you. He must want something otherwise why else would he be following you around like a lost puppy dog?

You didn't bother to look back at him, “Yea this is like the fourth time he’s stepped on Hana’s toes. I'm surprised she hasn’t kicked him in the shins yet.” 

You felt his shoulder brush against yours, “It's bound to happen at this rate.”

You laughed softly about to say something but you found yourself getting interrupted. 

A pretty girl that you didn't recognize came up to you two, extending her hand out to him, “Taehyung right?” 

He smiled sheepishly, shaking her hand awkwardly, “Uh yea. Sorry I don't know who you are. We didn't hook up right?”

She giggled, “No we didn't. I'm actually from Central University.”

“Ooh the rival school.”

She nodded, “Yep. I just wanted to introduce myself. I’m Yuna. If you're ever at Central for a game, you should totally let me know.”

You rolled your eyes, once again you found yourself in a situation where Taehyung was blatantly flirting in front of you. You blew on a dangling strand of hair that covered your eye. 

“Um sure. I'll let you know.”

She put her hand on her hip, “Great. Just dm me on Instagram.” She then walked away, completely ignoring the fact that you were standing right next to Taehyung the entire time. You couldn't help but feel insecure: why would she expect someone like Taehyung to be with someone like you? It didn't make sense. That's why she thought she could flirt with him and pretend like you were completely irrelevant, because you were. 

He looked at you, “Wow that was kinda weird.”

You crossed your arms, “Was it? I mean she just wanted to flirt with you.”

“She was flirting with me?”

You blew on the strand of hair again, “God you're dense.”

He shrugged, clearly not wanting to get into it, “Wanna dance?”

You shook your head, as you began to watch Jungkook and Hana again, “Not interested.”

“Not interested in dancing? Or not interested in dancing with me?”

“Both I guess.”

“So if Jimin asked you to dance, would you say no?”

“Why does it matter if it's Jimin?”

“It's just a question,” Taehyung said defensively. 

Your tone came out accusatory, “If it's just a question, then why do you care so much about the answer? Why are you following me around? Do you want something from me?”

“I don't want anything. I just want to talk to you. I just don't get why you came here with Jimin and not me. Is he your boyfriend or something like I just don't understand. Why did you choose him over me?” 

You looked over your shoulder and you found him staring at the marble, hands shoved deep in his pockets. You wanted to shout “I did choose you but you didn't want me” but you saw the hurt look on his face and simply sighed deeply, “I didn't choose anyone. He just asked me first.”

“Okay.” He paused for a moment then looked at you, “I'm sorry for being pushy.”

“I’m sorry too. I'm just tired. I didn't really wanna come here tonight. And I guess I feel kinda shitty.”

He looked up, “Why?”

You spoke softly, “I didn’t get to come here with the guy I really wanted to.”

Taehyung’s eyes met yours and the corner of his mouth lifted up in a smirk, “There's my strawberry girl.” 

You rolled your eyes at him, “You're so annoying.”

“Nope. I heard it. You said I was your first choice. You must not really think I'm annoying.”

“I think you are extensively annoying.”

“Hey! At least I didn't throw gatorade all over you.”

“I already said sorry for that! And for your information, it was blue hawaiian punch and sprite. And Hobi made it. So if anything you should be getting mad at him.”

“Alright, next time I see him, I'll throw blue hawaiian punch at him.”

“Go ahead. I will not be stopping you. But I will also not be responsible for him dislocating your shoulder.” 

He winced in pain as he rolled his shoulder, “Ugh, he doesnt need to that since I already dislocated the stupid thing myself.”

You wrinkled your eyebrows in concern, “Why? What happened? What did you do?”

He laughed nervously, “Well, Jimin was trying to teach me how to do like a front roll and I kinda ended up putting too much weight on my right shoulder and it fucking hurts every time I move it.” 

“Did you go to the nurse? Did you ice it? Have you taken tylenol or ibuprofen?”

“Um, no, no, and no”

“What the fuck Taehyung! Why didn't you do anything? Did you not tell anyone?”

“Uhhh, no I didn't tell anyone”

You punched his left arm, “Why not?”

“Ow! Don't dislocate the other one!” he rubbed his arm where you punched him, “Because…I didn't want anyone to worry.”

“Well I'm worrying right now!”

Then he had the audacity to give his boxy smile to you, “I know and it's honestly pretty adorable.”

You crossed your arms and scoffed, “Oh my god, you are insufferable.” 

“It's not a big deal ___________ .I'll be fine.”

You asked, “Are you in pain right now?” 

He massaged his shoulder and winced again, “Eh it's fine. I can manage.”

You pulled his arm, “Cmon lets go. Let me take a look and see if it's actually dislocated and if it's bad we can go to the nurse tomorrow.” 

“Where are we going?” he said trailing behind you.

“Lets just go back to your dorm. It's closer and I'm betting you have more medicine than I have.”

You made your way through the crowd before remembering that you should probably tell Hana you're leaving, “Uh Taehyung, can you get the car and meet me by the front? I just need to say bye to Hana really quick”

He nodded and let go of your hand.

You glanced around the hall and saw Hana by the drinks with Jungkook and some of the other guys. 

You walked over to her, “Hey Hana! Im gonna leave now.”

She looked around and then giggled, “Ooh are you leaving?”

You nodded, not sure what she was trying to imply.

She laughed again, wriggling her eyebrows, “Are you going to leave with him?”

“Um..” You didn't want to tell her that you were leaving with Taehyung because she would not let you do that but you didn't want to lie to her, “Uh um actually I j-“

She cut you off, “Oh my gosh I'm so excited for you. Jimin is so sweet. Have fun!!” 

You thought about clarifying the situation to her but it was whatever now. You would explain in the morning. 

As you walked away, you turned around and saw Hana smiling widely and Jungkook giving you a thumbs up. God this is so embarrassing. But you didnt know what was worse: having them think you were going to have sex with Park Jimin when you really weren’t or having them realize you were going with Taehyung, your unrequited love. 

You walked out of the building and found Taehyung in his car, waiting for you. You quickly got in, not wanting anyone to see you and he drove away. 

He pulled up to the frat house and he led you to his room. For once, you didn't feel anxious. You were only here to see if his shoulder was okay. And then you would leave to go to your dorm. And not think about how much you wanted to kiss him. 

You raided their medicine cabinet and found some Tylenol and some muscle pain reliever cream. 

You re-entered his bedroom and saw him facing his closet, back towards you.

Your mouth went dry when he took off his white coat and began to unbutton his shirt. He removed his shirt to reveal his honey colored skin. 

You quickly looked away when you heard him unzipping his pants. God why is he so comfortable with taking off his clothes in front of me? You tried to distract yourself with your phone but you couldn’t help but peak. He pulled on a plain navy blue short sleeved shirt and remained in his forest green boxers. He walked over, messing with his curly hair, and sat down on the edge of the bed, right next to you. Now you started to feel your heart pound again, his closeness was making it hard for you to stay calm. You hated the effect he had on you. He could make you nervous without even trying. 

Taehyung spoke, chuckling, “Are you okay? Your cheeks are kinda pink.”

“I’m fine. Now let me just see your shoulder.” 

You slowly pressed on his shoulder and he groaned in pain. You bit your lip, thinking about what to do. 

“Can you um take off your shirt? I just want to see if th-“

He excitedly took it off, “You don't have to ask me twice.”

You couldn’t help but roll your eyes. You tried to focus on his shoulder and not get distracted by his really attractive body. You scanned his shoulder and found a huge bruise on the back of his shoulder. 

“Okay so good news I don’t think it's dislocated. There's just a huge bruise here. Which I cannot believe you didn’t notice since it’s the size of my hand.”

“Well your hand is small so..”

“Shut up. Anyways, I think you just have to leave it and let it heal on its own. You can put this cream on and it can help with the pain and also take Tylenol.”

“Can you put the cream on me? Please?” he whined.

“God you're so an-“

“I know I know I'm annoying. Now pleaseee!”

You put some of the cream on your hand and put it on his shoulder. 

“Done.”

“You didn't even rub it in!”

You really were not interested in rubbing your hands all over his chest, “Taehyung, can't you just do it?”

“It's literally on my back I can't reach it! Pleaseee!”

You huffed, annoyed at his puppy dog eyes that could literally convince you to do anything. You slowly rubbed the cream on his shoulder, trying hard not to think how soft his skin felt, how toned his body was, and how his body was literally radiating so much heat, making your entire face flush.

“Your hands are literally so soft __________. I should hire you to do massages for me.”

You chuckled nervously, trying to hide your blushing face, “Well for you it would be $1000.”

You wiped your hands on a napkin, “Anyways, I should go. I'm sure you’ve got someone to meet.” You started to get up, but he pulled you back next to him.

“I have nothing to do. Just sit with me. We never hang out anymore. I mean it's usually never just the two of us.”

Why the fuck does he have to do this? Why is he still acting so flirty? Doesn't he know it hurts me? 

You felt the anxiety building up in your heart, you just really, really fucking wanted to get over him. You sat on the bed, a little too close to him for your taste.

“Can I tell you a secret _________?” he said leaning back on his bed, pulling on his shirt.

“What?”

He gave you his iconic teasing smirk, “You were my first crush.”

He was yours too. Kinda pathetic right? You loved him since 3rd grade and here you are, so many years later, still in love with him.

“I didn't know that,” you said, adjusting your sitting position. You rested your head comfortably against the headboard, crossing your legs.

“Yep, I had a crush on you in second grade. And third grade. and also fourth. Then in 5th grade, all the boys collectively decided girls were gross so I had to pretend I didn't like you.” He said, scooting so his shoulder was pressing against yours.

You chuckled, “I remember that. You told me I had cooties and that we couldn’t hang out anymore.”

“Yea I was kinda stupid then.”

“Just then?” You said teasingly.

He ruffled his hair, “Okay I’m still kinda stupid. But I got better with girls.”

You felt a pang to your heart. He got better with girls and fell out of his crush for you because he probably came to the not so surprising conclusion that there were so many other pretty girls. Obviously his crush on you was because you were just children, nothing that actually meant anything real. His feelings for you were absolutely none existent now. You had to keep reminding yourself of that. 

“Is that why you used to pick flowers from the neighbor’s garden for me?” You said, recalling your younger days with Taehyung

He nodded, laughing “Yea I didn't really know how to impress you but I noticed you would always talk about how pretty their flowers were. And thus the romancing began.”

“I appreciated the flowers for sure, not so much all the teasing.” You were fiddling with your hands, recalling how Taehyung used to pull at your braids or do stupid things like get detention just to get your attention.

Taehyung shrugged, “Don't you know ____________ that's how boys flirt. They tease the girls they like, just so they can see them blush and smile.”

“Hmm I guess. Jungkook did that to Hana a lot, and he honestly still teases her. it's so cute.” 

“Hey! Whenever i tease you, you just punch me or call me fucking annoying.”

“It's different.” 

“How?”

“Cause you're not flirting with me. You're just teasing me cuz we’re friends. So its different.”

“What if I told you that I tease you to see that cute blush on your face?”

This was getting too much. You couldn’t take it. He was doing the same exact shit again. You couldn’t handle being his friend if he was going to act like this. You knew Taehyung was a naturally flirty person but it was different now. You had actual feelings for him and he didn't so all of this teasing and flirting was just shoving your heartbreak back into your face. If this friendship was going to last, you needed to set some boundaries with him. The old you wouldn't have done this. Before, you would have just brushed it off, ignoring all of his flirty comments. But you were going to put yourself and your feelings first now. 

You spoke seriously, “Taehyung, I can't be your friend if you're going to act like this. You can't flirt with me okay? Friends don’t flirt with each other. Friends are just friends and nothing more. This is what you wanted so please make this easier for me.”

The mischievousness and the dangerous flirtiness disappeared replaced with your weakness, his innocent huge doe eyes, “Oh. I'm sorry. I didn't realize.”

You stared at your hands in your lap, “It's okay.”

You looked at him and gave him a reassuring smile. Taehyung slowly bit his lip and leaned his face close to yours, “Do you still like me?”

You were taken aback by his closeness, “Of course I like you, I mean we are still friends.”

He leaned in even closer, his nose touching yours, his breath tickling your neck, “No, I mean do you like me, like me? Are you still in love with me?”

Your heart was beating out of your chest, you felt like you couldn’t breathe, he was so close to your face. You couldn’t lie to him, he would know right away. Looking deep into his eyes, you softly nodded.

He broke into his boxy grin and licked his lips, his gaze dropping to your lips, “Good, because it will make this a lot easier.” 

Then he kissed you. Hard. He pushed you into the pillows on the bed, his legs planted on each side of your hips, his body pressing into yours all while kissing you deeply. Your entire body was electrified, buzzing. It felt so good again, so comforting, so natural. One of his hands traveled to your face, cupping your cheek while the other pressed into the curve of your waist. Your hands immediately twisted into his curls. His lips were warm and soft, just like you remembered. He softly bit your lower lip and you gasped, providing him an opportunity to slip his tongue into your mouth. You couldn’t help but moaned against his mouth when you felt his tongue. Taehyung rasped into your ear, sending shivers through your body, “Fuck you’re beautiful.” He pushed his chest against yours, kissing you deeper as if he was trying to get closer.

You broke the kiss, the flavor of strawberry still tingling on your lips, completely out of breath, your heart hammering. You looked up at him hovering above you, his lips swollen from kissing you, “Tae, what..? I’m confused. I cant be your fuck buddy or something. I have feelings for you and I know you don't lo-“

He stopped your sentence by kissing your lips softly and slowly. He pulled away slowly, his eyes dancing with excitement. He kissed your cheek sweetly. He spoke, his voice deep and melodic, “I love you ____________”

Your eyes widened in disbelief, you laughed nervously as you sat up properly, “No, no, you don't love me Taehyung. You don't have feelings for me. You told me that.”

He settled next to you as he took your hands in his, “I told you that I was confused and that I wasn’t sure. I never said that I didn't have any feelings for you.”

You shook your head, remembering what Hana told you, “Taehyung if you said you were confused, it means you didn't have feelings. People say they are confused when they are trying to be nice. If you had real feelings for me, then you wouldn’t be confused, you would know that.”

His words came out as a whisper, “I know it now. I know I love you. All these years, I grew to be in love with you and I think I fell in love with you but I didn’t realize it until you told me how you felt. I realized once you weren’t in my life anymore, everything felt different. I didn’t realize I loved you until I did. And I don’t love the idea of you. I love you. Your smiles, your laughs, the way you say fuck in every sentence, The way you call me headass. I love you more than you could possibly understand.”

For the first time, you were completely speechless. You looked around and blinked a few times just to make sure that you weren’t in a dream. Actually what would be worse is if he took it all back. Just like how he did with the first kiss. You were literally on cloud 9 and then he broke the reality to you that he didn't have feelings for you.

He spoke again “I don't know if this is too much right now but if you want I can give you space. i can give you time. I can give you all the time in the world because I'll wait for you.  Cause frankly the way that I see it, you and me? We’re Inevitable.”

 Your hand came up to his cheek, “Taehyung, are you being serious? Are you telling me the truth right now? Do you actually love me? I just…I don't know what I would do if you didn't mean every word you just said right now.”

“I'm sorry _________. I was scared of my feelings. That's why I acted the way I did. The way I feel about you is like nothing I’ve felt before, so I was scared. And I was confused. But I do love you. Everything that happens to you matters to me. You're worth everything and more to me. And I want this. I want you. So badly.”

Your heart swelled, you couldn’t think properly not only because he kissed you but also because of his confession that you waited for since high school. You cupped his cheek and whispered hoarsely, “Kiss me…please.” 

Taehyung then rolled on top of you, pinning you underneath him. He gave you a smirk that made your heart skip a beat and pressed his soft lips against yours once again. He went slowly this time as if he were trying to memorize your lips. Your hands wrapped around his neck, trying to bring him closer to you. The hand on your waist traveled to the outside of your thigh and he slowly wrapped your leg around his waist, pushing his body into yours. He pushed his tongue into your mouth eagerly, and his hand on your leg slowly traveled up your body just until his thumb grazed the underside of your breast. You unconsciously arched up into his touch as your breath hitched at the contact, never having been touched there before. He growled softly, “Fuck, you’re such a good girl.” 

You whimpered as you melted against his plushy lips. His lips left yours as he softly kissed your jaw. Your heart began to pound, you knew where this was going but you were scared. You had never done this before and he had dozens of times with much more beautiful girls. Your anxiety began to crawl over your mind and you exhaled uncomfortably. He felt your body tense so he removed his lips from your jaw. 

He spoke softly, “Hey, are you okay? We don't have to do anything. We can just sit on the bed and chill.”

You tried to control your breathing, “No it's not that. I want to but…I'm nervous. i've never done this before. and you have. a lot. with much more pretty girls. I just…I’m scared..I have no idea what I'm doing.”

Taehyung kissed your cheek, then your forehead, then your lips. He looked deep into your eyes, “You’re beautiful, you know that? Like ridiculously stunning. It's honestly not fair. But I also want you to know I love you for you. The way my heart skips a beat when you talk about what you're passionate about, the way you know what exactly to say to me, the way you aren’t afraid of calling people out on their bullshit. You're my dream girl. Also don't worry about not knowing what to do.  Let me take care of you.”

You nodded softly, your heart completely elated at his words. You had never felt like this before, so loved, so wanted, so warm, “Okay.”

 He slowly began to trace his lips along your jaw and neck, sucking and biting softly with the hot and open mouth kisses. Your mind was completely hazy as you sighed deeply, heart racing. You heard him whisper “mine” into your skin in between kisses and soft bites. 

He made his way back to your lips. You uncontrollably moaned into his lips when he licked into your mouth. Taehyung groaned softly, “Fuck you taste so good.” He bit on your lower lip again when his hips pressed into yours. You moaned his name breathlessly, your cheeks completely red, feeling embarrassed at how desperate you sound. 

He stopped kissing you for a moment and you realized you were completely out of breath. You looked up at him, his pupils were completely blown, his curly hair a mess, a glint of adoration in his eyes. You tugged at his shirt, “Can you take this off?”

Taehyung kissed your forehead, “Of course princess.” He pulled off his shirt and looked at you with his sincere eyes, “Whenever you want to stop, we can stop, tonight is about you.”

You nodded, knowing he would immediately pause whenever you started to feel nervous or anxious. Your words tumbled out when you saw his defined golden body, “You're so hot”

He immediately cupped your face, pulling you in for a needy kiss. He broke away for a moment, “I’ve waited so long to hear those words from you.”

You smiled shyly, “I've always thought you were hot. I just never wanted to tell you.”

He kissed you softly, “What else do you like about me? What do you love about me?”

You tried to hide a smile, looking up at him, “um..”

He gave a fake gasp, “Um?!”

Your cheeks twinged red and you began to ramble, “Sorry! I know what I love about you but it's hard for me to pinpoint. I love just everything. Your personality, you're so kind and sweet and gentle and you make me feel like I matter. You listen to me, like actually listen and care. I mean you're the one I think about as I lie awake at night. I also love how yo-“

He cut you off with a kiss and pulled away delicately, “You are so cute.”

You anchored one of your hands in his hair and one around his neck, pressing your lips against his, warmth coursing through your body. Your eyes rolled back as his hips rolled against yours. He whispered, his voice low and husky, “Fuck, you’re so needy for me.” He continued to place open mouth kisses on your lips, his hands remaining your waist, pressing into your body. 

You trembled as you moaned breathlessly when you felt his fingers slip underneath your shirt, skimming  the waistband of your underwear. You couldn’t stop panting into his mouth. you felt his breath tickled your neck, nipping gently, when he praised, “You're being so good for me.”

You were completely intoxicated in his touch, sucking on his bottom lip, responding to his praises with soft moans of his name, with one leg of yours wrapped around his waist.

“Tae.”

“Yes princess?”

“I want you.”

“You have me.”

“No I want you, want you.”

His eyes blinked in realization of what you were saying. He kissed your lips softly again, one hand on your cheek, the other twirling your hair, “Are you sure?”

“Yes”

“Just because you say yes now doesn’t mean you can't say no later. So whenever you want to stop, we stop.”

You nodded, reassuring him you would definitely let him know if you wanted to stop. But you knew you wouldn’t want to. You had wanted this so badly for so long. You trusted him completely, he was your best friend and the only guy you had ever loved. 

Taehyung flashed his boxy smile at you. He tilted your chin as he kissed you deeply. He spoke in his deep voice, sending trembles through your body,  “I can’t wait to fucking wreck you.”

———————————————————————————————————

You tapped your foot impatiently, waiting by the entrance of the building, leaning on the cream colored column. 

He was late. Of course he was late. Even though you reminded him this morning about your plans together. You looked at your phone for the third time in the past ten minutes. No text yet.

You heard the rumblings of thunder, indicating it was going to rain soon. You sighed and stepped into the building, tired of waiting for him. You placed your purse in the x-ray and stepped through the scanner. You walked around and found a bench in front of a large photograph depicting two modestly dressed women looking at each other on beige steps. You stared at the photograph for a few minutes, wishing that the person who would appreciate it the most was here next to you. You felt a tap on your shoulder so you looked to your right and then heard his voice from your left, “Hi.”

You crossed your arms, annoyed, “You're late.”

His curly hair was messy, and he was still breathing heavily as if he just ran all the way here. He sat down next to you and he kissed your cheek, “I know, I know. I'm sorry. I got caught up with Jimin. We were playing smash and then I forgot about the time.”

“Taehyung, I planned this because it was something you were excited about.”

He cupped your cheek, “I know and I thoroughly appreciate it. You're way too good for me.”

You couldn’t help but blush, “Shut the fuck up. I'm mad at you.”

“Aww you're adorable.” he smirked at you, “Nice hickey, by the way,” 

You gasped, clasping your hands over your neck. You felt your face heating up, scandalized by his actions,  “Taehyung! I told you not to make it so visible. This is so embarrassing.”

“Sorry but not really. I like seeing you blush.” He tugged on your arm, lifting you up from the bench, “Now c'mon, lets go look around. It's not everyday I get to walk around a photography museum with my girlfriend.”

After spending a few hours walking through each and every exhibit in the museum, you were thoroughly exhausted. Taehyung held your hand as you walked out of the museum. It was getting dark, with the soft light of the street lamps giving a warm glow. it was sprinkling, giving the air a cool misty tinge. 

Taehyung sat on the wooden bench facing the gardens outside the museum, and pulled you onto his lap. It started to rain harder but the pitter patter of the rain drops on the cobblestone was comforting, reminding you of home. He looked at you with his huge eyes that were sparkling in the dim moonlight. 

You smiled, “What?”

He returned your smile, “Nothing. I just can't believe I get to date my best friend.”

You tried to hide your smile, “You're so mushy.”

He leaned in close to you, “What? I can't say romantic things to my strawberry girl?”

You pressed your lips against his, warmth coursing through your body. He whispered softly, “Your lips are so soft, I could kiss them all day.”

You smiled against his lips, kissing him once more.

“___________”

“Yes?”

“I want you to know, It was always you. You’re my beginning and my end.”

You rested your forehead against his, feeling his hands planted on your hips, “From the moment you called me strawberry girl, I knew it was always you.”

Taehyung looked at you with concern in his eyes, “Are you sure?”

“Sure about what?”

“About loving me.”

You leaned away to study his face, “Of course I’m sure. Why do you ask?”

“I’m scared...that you might love me now but in a few years you might hate me...you might fall out of love with me...that you won’t want me anymore. What happens if you see a side of me that makes you not want me anymore? I can’t help but wonder what I will do if you don’t want me.” 

You cupped his face in your hands, speaking seriously, “I’ll always want you. I’ll always love you. I always have loved you. Even when we fight, even when we say horrible things to each other, we somehow always make our way back to each other. I know you, I’ve seen every side of you good and bad and I want it all.”

He held your hands that were pressed against his face and said gently, “It’s kinda hard for me to put into words but I love you in ways I have never loved anyone else.”

You rested your forehead against his, letting the rain tickle your cheeks as your lips pressed against his.

author’s note: i love the rain aesthetic; its so comforting and romantic (esp the idea of kissing in the rain) anyways thank you to everyone for reading. i really, really never thought anyone would be reading my writing, much less relate and invest in strawberry girl so thank you to everyone who has been following along w the story! i wanted to make the mc as realistic as possible and insecurities is something that we all have to face. bts has been such an important symbol of self love and im so thankful for that bc theyve changed the lives of so many armys! im rambling lol ty for reading and i hope you all enjoyed the final part of strawberry girl. 🥺💜💜💜💜💜💜💜

tags: @fleurmoon @tangledsparkles @chocolatebelievercrusade @brokenobserver @ncitydreamies @soulstaes @bonnyskies @thelilbutifulthings @busansgloss @imluckybitches @xlectrahearts @embrace-themagic @bts-dreamybaby @belshka @trinbin039 @xxlostinseoul @sheislikearock @madjammil @guksflavor @yn-the-reader @kingjvngins @ggukkieland @waves-and-woods @aa-ronpa @agabud @n-dingscene @daydreamersblog @dionysusrage @coolinwbu 

[bansheeoftheforest]

Well, my wifi is not back, and wont be anytime soon. The very earliest luckiest would be getting it back by Tuesday (unlikely). The very worst my house burns down so theres that /lh /hj

This sucks so much because I really cannot read asks I dont see in real time, I have the same amount of reading comprehension for them as I do Frankenstein XD

Dm me links to any important syndicate asks I miss while I'm gone 👍

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Bannnnnn I tried to draw the Jekyll brothers but Kent? Is inconsistent? The database (what I use) showd him as a clean shaven guy with a bit messy hair but google is showing Kent as a completely different model? Neat hair, Brokenshire beard. Like it's the ingame "identify" zoom in and I cant check whats right before I already killed himmmm

Anyway here art <3. I know I said I'd draw the DTIYS first but art inspiration is stored in the Syndicate au <3

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Also I've been thimking about Henry wearing a mask +plus ponytail to hide his identity like for the past two days. Yknow those theater masks? The weeping and laughing? He wears the sad one while in the Blighters and Templars and the happy one while in the Rooks because hes a dramatic theater nerd. Also! I like to think that if Jekyll has to be a templar he'd still wear the Blighter uniform when he could and pretend hes not high ranking. He gets away with it because Crawford doesn't care about him and Roth lives for chaos

I also drew Henry in a mask and ponytail but it's not done yet 😔

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Also I did the math the the twins are 3 years older than Jekyll. Like thank goodness first of all because I fully went into ship entirely unaware on if there were canon ages or a scary difference. But also Jacob being 3 years older than Henry is kinda funny to me

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All of Evie's outfits (besides her default) are bad and I'm gonna fist fight the designers because the secrets of london (where I only searched the locations of 3) is so bad, especially with the effort needed. How did they do Jacob so good, but utterly fail with Evie /lh

NOOOOOOO D: Man, I really hope you will get it back asap, and also that your house don't burn down!!

Man, if I don't know your struggle rn. However I shall do my best to link you to every syndicate ask that I will get from here on out bc I don't tend to get small asks for that au so <3

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Huh-- oh wow you're right. I wonder if it is a set design or just a bit on random depending on the save file... I killed him a long ass time ago so I have absolutely no idea how he looked like <3

EITHER WAY OH MY GOD IT LOOKS AAMZING. I love??? How you gave all three individual personalities in just a single picture??? Kent looks like he is seconds away from murder and I LOVE Henry in the templar outfit, it fits him so well??? Man I really want to start thinking more of this branch. Would the entire Jekyll family be Templars so the trio got that role inherited? Are Raphael and Kent unidentical twins and Henry is the odd-one-out because he is the youngest? Were the three of them really close in Scotland, but left as soon as possible bc their family was abusive, only for Kent and Raphael to find refuge in the Templar Order while Henry goes to university? Would they still have that brotherly love if they were close as kids even when they are in the Order, or would they have a falling out and start despising each other (or Jekyll @ the older brothers at least)? Would Raphael and Kent secretly be protective of Henry and manage to keep him out of Starrick's line-of-sight so that Henry won't get in trouble for defying orders/ignoring them? Would they force Henry to join the Templars with threats or would Henry mostly feel obligated to join them? Since the Templar Order isn't illegal in London, would other people know that Jekyll is a Templar, or would he keep it hidden from the public? Would his brothers help hide his identity?? SO many questions and I'm so sad I won't be able to discuss them with you :'c

(also can I just say I love the poetic differences between their clothing. Raphael is just wearing a waistcoat/basic clothes and he is a brute and more open, Kent is wearing more clothes/layering up and he is the "brains" out of the two of them, Jekyll is wearing the most layers and is almost trying to hide himself and I just... *chief's kiss*)

--

Henry being a dramatic theater nerd and stealing Roth's costume supplies to hide his identity bc he is so ashamed of it and doesn't want people he knows to know about it my beloved <3 Plus the blighter uniforms doesn't look too far off of what he normally wears so he could probably use that as an excuse whenever some other Templar gets up his ass about not wearing the right clothes, yet it still doesn't make Henry feel any better knowing he has to bear the knowledge that he is actively wearing discreet blighter clothes to keep the Order happy and the public oblivious, knowing what cause he is reluctantly supporting. (him joining the rooks and suddenly coming into the Society all dressed in green lol)

Anyways I have now also decided that Maxwell and Henry are friends bc they both hate the Templars and Crawford and Henry gets to star in many of the plays he sets up. Plus they are both slightly insane so they match each other good.

YKNOW WHAT I WAS DAYDREAMING ABOUT WHILE BRUSHING MY TEETH RIGHT AFTER THIS ASK? Jekyll being forced to be the one to murder his brothers and the twins trying to track the murderer down just to know who tf are killing their targets, conveniently at the same time Maxwell starts meeting Jacob. Henry watching Jacob from afar getting smitten by him but keeping a distance bc he knows Maxwell is possessive, Jacob being the first to befriend Henry after Maxwell explains that both of them are against the Templars and Crawford, Jacob saving Henry during the fire of the theater? Yes pls <3

--

Thank god bc here I was imagining an age gap of like idk 15 years bc of the differences in the timeline but! I'm just going to keep the canonical age difference while also shoot the timeline up a lil so that the events of Syndicate and TGS takes place at the same time but they are the right age and stuff, just bc I do not like Evie's and Jacob's older designs and I do not want to imagine them meeting during the Ripper dlc <3 Also the thought of Jacob being older than Henry is funny. I think Henry has a type /j

-

They are so fucking bad and I'm going to scourage the Nexus to see if I can find any good redesign mods because they are so fucking bad. But to be fair, all female main characters' outfits are bad. Pearl? Lucy Thorne? Mfs looks like vampires. Even more reasons for why I only play Jacob, bc all other outfits on Evie are bad <3

[frogtanii]

🔮 again 👉👈.

is this too much?

I FEEL LIKE IM DOING THIS TOO MUCH HAHAHAHAHAHAHSHS 😙✌️

ITS JUST I READ omg they were roommates AND IM TRYING NOT TO ASK AND SEND MESSAGES SO MUCH IN CASE YOU'RE BUSY BUT-

THAT FIC HAS ME NEEDING A BREAK.

no, miss ma'am, i am not over the arguments and the segments that involved expressing emotions and feelings because i can be a sensitive hooman.

i wanted something to read on my break from schoolwork not a sob sesh how dare you write tsukki like that-

but it is understandable how he would want to not be open about his feelings and wanting to trust people cuz he looked up to his brother, but his brother wasnt vv truthful to him. but hes trying, ya know? there are people who picture him as an asshole and an asshole only, and there are people who get mad when others paint him as a softie at heart, and like, okay, i get it, thats what you think and thats totally fine, he's a fictional character with aspects of him completely open to interpretation, but ffs dont hate on people who want him to be soft, or mean, and say things about him like hEs rAcISt or hEs hOmOpHoBiC because, to be frank, he is someone's comfort character, he is found relatable by some people who find themselves in him, and by belittling what he experienced, what he feels or saying that hes racist/homophobic can make the people who find comfort in him very upset. like imagine coming into a post saying that the person you kin (relate to on different levels) or your comfort character is just a blah blah blah, doesnt it feel like a slap in the face or doesnt it leave a bad taste in your mouth?

same for all the other characters, im different fandoms too.

(i think i unpacked too much- HAHAHAHAHAH)

a n y w a y

the amout of times i switched up from wanting to smother tsukki to death with a pillow and smother him with all the love and affection i can muster is unreal, i feel like 🤡.

and im still sad about tsukki despite the happy ending so im gonna just-

The scowl on his face made the situation so much more amusing, and in a weak effort not to burst out into a fit of giggles, I had to pretend to be absorbed in the puddles that gathered on the street after the morning rain.

"its not funny," he grumbled.

"and im not laughing," i shoot back innocently, biting back a laugh at the sight of his reddening cheeks through a shop window.

"this is so embarrassing,"

"hey," i link my pinky with his, "its just you and me,"

he huffs like a child and buries his face deeper into the scarf wrapped around his neck to hide his intensifying blush.

and just when i thought i mananged to distract him, i heard a loud crash from behind us and upon turning to assess what happened, i burst out laughing.

lev and oikawa were being held back by an irritated iwaizumi while yaku and yams were apologizing to the takoyaki vendor whose cart had been flipped over.

"where are kuroo and-"

"dont-" tsukishima grabs my face and turns it forward, marching us away.

i was so absorbed at how flustered the normally stoic man was that i didnt notice the duo in matching fake mustaches and hats watching us from the vending machine across the street.

and thats me back to work, bye bye froggy! keep up the great work! and rest, take a deep breath when youre feeling overwhelmed 💘

KDJDK pls never feel bad for engaging w me love, i like hearing from you!!!! m rlly happy you liked omg they were roommates, s one of my favorites hehe && ur drabble????? so cute omgggg 🥺🥳 i miss writing tsukki <//3

[kazuwhora]

hi kc!! i saw that your requests are opened so is it okay if i ask for a matchup 👉🏼👈🏼 feel free to ignore this if not!!

i go by any pronouns and im an infp(i think) and my zodiac is cancer!! i would say that im much more on the introvert side but with close friends and family im much more extroverted. most of the things i do heavily depend on my mood? like if i feel happy on a certain day i’ll have no problem talking with strangers and if im feeling shitty then i would prefer being left alone. im someone who tries their best to make sure everyone around me has a positive image of me, i get highly anxious when i hear someone dislikes me for any particular reason. im also highly aware of the things i do because im insecure and im afraid of judgement jwjsnd. i get random bursts of energy like with friends one moment i’ll be acting like a total crackhead and the next i’ll be super quiet and tired since my social battery drains too quickly for my liking. im not one to open up about myself but i feel like i do talk a lot about what happens in my life to the point where i feel annoying lmao. i dont like they way i act sometimes? because i feel like im a very toxic person so i can be self critical. im kind of stubborn too like youre gonna have to give me a ten page essay on why i should not be doing a certain thing. im the type of person who always finishes what they started because i cant stand not completing a certain project or goal i end up hating myself jwns. oh im a very picky eater too and i have this tendency to chew on ice cubes eheh

uhmm as for interests i dont really have a fixed interest? because i lose interest in stuff really quickly but i do enjoy playing games, writing, drawing, daydreaming and sleeping. im tired 24/7 but when i sleep at like 4am in the morning. i used to do embroidery too but i mainly lost motivation to do it oops

my love language would be physical touch i love love love shit like holding hands and nice hugs esp when they swing your hands while holding them aaa but tbh all of the love languages appeal to me and i do a lil bit of all of them too

really what i look for is someone who can vibe with me since i do stupid crap but at the same time knows how to tone it down when my social battery runs out. as long as theyre funny, respectful and understanding, i’ll be falling head first for them😩

uhh and yeah thats about it!! im sorry if its too long and thank you sm if you do this love you <3

NOT ME READING THIS PANICKING THAT YOU MIGHT HAVE THOUGHT I DECIDED TO IGNORE IT LAFHLIURHGWUHG pls forgive me IM SO SORRY IT TOOK ME SO LONG

you sound very much like an infp and that's why I'm gonna say that your best match is honestly mikey and im not even saying this bc I know you love him IM SAYING IT BECAUSE IT MAKES SENSE and here is why

in cases where introverts get really burnt out sometimes by interactions, I almost ALWAYS scream intp because it just ??? works ?? mikey is an intp and by nature he's an ambivert. the type to really need someone to help reel him in and relax and not worry about being so social, the type to struggle with expressing his emotions and showing them, the type that NEEDS an infp to encourage that aspect of him. and between you two he's so self critical that experiencing your own self criticisms makes him frustrated and when he realizes that this is how you feel when he criticizes himself in the same way, he'll take a step back and re-evaluate how he goes about things. I think he's the type to really encourage you to tap into the nurturing sense of an infp, which in turn has an effect on how you view yourself and the role you play in people's lives. mikey knows this too, and that's why he's so grateful for your presence.

also physical touch?? mikey needs it. he'll pretend at first like he doesn't care and doesn't like being touched, but if you force him to cuddle he'll give in to his neediness and melt in your arms because really he never had anyone to just hug him and let him get lost in himself and the comfort of someone else. poor baby

[definitelynotcesia]

good eve! submission to my loml abt my theories that i shook off of my brain. pls this is only for cesia because i accidentally said too many things here hehe.

warning: whatever i said here are just merely theories and they might be wrong so read with utmost discretion.

it's been a while since i have even heard from you

And I should just tell you to leave 'cause I

Know exactly where it leads, but I

Watch us go 'round and 'round each time

here,, i looked at this as if i am either taehyun or yn. but lets say this is more likely to be yn because she's the one who knows and is aware of everything that's happening. yn has this sofi the bitch situation right?and knowing yn she might think that she should stop this rekindled connection with taehyun since yea sofi but this verse gives me the hope that our yn will keep this connection going this time?? like she would have this yea fuck it let's keep this yn x taehyun conversation instead of sunny x taehyun (since sofi is pretending to be sunny now. eww) situation. i think yn would keep this connection again even though she knows the consequences of this action. so if this is right, there might be some yn x taehyun subtle landian blessings. i am keeping my fingers crossed for this one.

The lights are off, he's taking off his coat (mmm, yeah)

I say, "I heard, oh

That you've been out and about with some other girl"

Some other girl

He says, "What you heard is true, but I

Can't stop thinking 'bout you and I"

pls im very intrigueed because yn nd taehyun recently had a conversation abt this right? him and sofi. like the last update was about taehyun and sofi's relationship and how yn was talking about it. but pls bear in mind that taehyun implied that yn was secretly hoping right? right??? so this is where "What you heard is true, but I can't stop thinking 'bout you and I" makes really sense for me because taehyun admitted that there is something abt sofi nd him (because sofi is pretending to be sunny eww again) but he knows that the connection between him and yn is what keeps him up at night. he cant help but think abt what he and yn has. he feels something. something that he could not pin out. yes mr. kang keep on thinking. so maybe,,, he'll start comparing yn to the past sunny (yn's persona) to the present sunny which is none other than the pretentious sofi. And maybe yn isn't the only one secretly hoping at this point. *winks*

but then,,, an insider told me that this song might be a spoiler for the whole story instead of a chapter (insider kind of suspicious tho). so i started looking at it in a bigger setting (sorry im still going.).

so style is generally accepted to be taylor swift's song about harry styles (nothing is confirmed here but miss swift,,, i can feel it.). but that's not the entire point here. i would just like to give u guys a background about the song. the song has been analyzed and interpreted for many times now and there are many similarities as well as differences. like how the song kinds of tells us about a relationship and they know that it will not work out at the first place but they insisted on doing it. there are other analysis that says that this song is about two lovers that weren't just synching as if time wasn't agreeing their way. others says that this one is about being uncertain about a relationship. all of the analysis ive mentioned are yes,, you've guessed it - are my points on how style is related to helpline or how it spoils the whole series...?

So first point/connection. we know at the very beginning of helpline and the interaction between taehyun and yn (as herself) it was just yn that likes taehyun because taehyun alr likes sunny at this point. flashbacks of the secondhand embarrassment brought to u by yn and beomgyu. so she alr sees this relationship with tyun as hopeless because he likes the persona that she created, the exact same persona that she was scared to reveal. it was upon taehyun's support and the daycare as well that made yn feel positive about this. reference #1: style is about knowing that things wont really work out and would just end up badly but you still did it anyway.

second, reference #2: style is about a relationship that is not synching up. "Well it's basically kind of one of those relationships that's always a bit off. I talk about in another song on the record, a crooked love, which is kind of like never quite synced up right..." taylor mentioned this during her promotion for the 1989 album. so notice how whenever the relationship between taehyun and sunny is at its highest, suddenly there are conflicts arising. this might be just cesia's writing technique but notice the lyrics!!! "and when we go crashing down, we come back every time". the first crash was when taehyun likes sunny instead of yn. but yn is sunny! and that ladies and gents is the firt come back. the second crash was the allegations abt who might be the real sunny and the first come back mi amigos is taehyun's reassurance to sunny aka yn. the latest crash and the most annoying of all is sofi and i am still hoping for the next come back that might happen real soon.

reference #3: "When I wrote this next song I was thinking about how we have these kind of fashion staples that never quite, we never quite throw them out of our closet, right? No one's going to be like, why are you wearing a little black dress, no on wears that, that was so two years ago. Everybody has that perfect little black dress or for a guy that great white t-shirt that fits you perfect. You may not necessarily wear them all the time, but they're always there in the back of your closet in case you need to go to your old standby, that classic thing that always works. I was thinking about that, and I then I was thinking about how there are feelings like that, how there are trends that never go out of style and how there are feelings that never go out of style. Do you see where I'm going with this?" the feeling that taehyun that he's not throwing or neglecting was how he felt connected to sunny in a very intimate way. like i think that was what he was looking for in sofi, yes the pretentious sofi. he was looking for that kind of connection. the safeness and the realness of taehyun and sunny towards each other. notice how the connection was only visible when he was talking or with yn (the real sunny). because the connection between him and sunny cannot be faked. no matter how hard sofi tries to pretend and act the connection is just nowhere to be found.

i dont have enough time to concluded this now but i hope this makes sense to cesia klshdjkgshjjhahj

the loml being the yn protection squad™ leader and founder that she is,,,,

these are actually very very interesting theories you have written here babe. i think some theories quiet matched to what i had in mind tbh, sort of almost but not quite ?? (if the grammar is right,,, wtf). i'm interested in your other theories though akbskdhsn why does this feel like a research oral defense or smth

you really placed so much effort in dissecting the song omg i already told you this but i'm telling you once again,,, you make me cry so hard wtf :< i just love you sm, my soulmate :<<

ps: all of this may have started from here

[szivtalan]

oh oh your opinion on kise yes

me: sleepy time ~ you: would you like to talk about kis- me, whipping out my laptop at the speed of light: i’m glad you asked

Why I like Kise: what’s not to like really? He’s someone who acts all shallow and superficial but he keeps hanging out with the same 10 nerds all day, he acts childish and immature but actually there’s a certain kind of depth to him that makes him more secretive than he would initially come off. To me, he feels like someone who always surprises you with some new aspect to his personality just when you thought you’d figured him out. Hands down he has the best character arc in the entire series (going from cheerful and humble to serious and cocky and “He’s the best player on the court right now” from “I’m actually the worst of the bunch”) and I think there’s just something about him because I keep having a lot of feelings every time I remember another thing

Why I don’t: I don’t like his tendency to take everything up on himself and let himself be torn down by obstacles instead of asking for Some help. Like, ur a child ur not allowed to be that self-destructive! >:[

Favorite episode (scene if movie): omg probably when Kagami was struggling to win and he taunted him. Also, their very first 1v1. And playing against Haizaki. AND AOMINE. god they were all so satisfying. I also liked him in Last Game, and whenever he interacted with Momoi, and asddsj he doesn’t have a single bad scene

Favorite season/movie: season 3 where he dares to be an asshole and is rightfully self-confident. He’s really good

Favorite line: “Once you look up to someone, you can’t exceed them”, “Someone please light a fire in me”, “I wanted to win this game for all of us”

Favorite outfit: what-the-fuck-ever that sleeveless V-neck tank top thing went with that I just found on google images. ho ho ho holy hell I also really liked him playing against Kagami with his shirt-sleeves rolled up and dress pants/shoes still on.....that’s a Look

OTP: I’m gonna say AoKise by habit. It kind of rocked my world and I still have a soft spot for them, but I’ve also been appreciating KagaKise and KiseKuro more. AoKagaKiseKuro?

Brotp: I still like what they could’ve been with Momoi a Lot. Either in a mlm/wlw solidarity way or in a sort of romantically involved way, I think they’re just sweet and that their energies match.

Head Canon: he’s the least physically healthy out of all of them, and it’s all a result of being careless with his body; pushing himself too hard during practice and especially matches, drinking until he’s blinding drunk on weekends and occasionally even smoking during and after photoshoots.

Unpopular opinion: he’s really not immature!! He can be analytical & assertive and surprisingly smart and quick on his feet, I just feel like he has that “there are other people who are wiser/better at this than me so I’ll just let them do it” kind of insecurity paired with his “everyone’s so fucking serious all the time it’s up to me to bring some leverage to this shit” mentality. Basically he chose to present as an airhead even if he’s really not like that at all.

A wish: I wish he lived his truth more/sooner? I feel like he’s really pretending for the most part and I’d love to see him finally give it up.

An oh-god-please-dont-ever-happen: don’t let him crumble. Just pls... don’t let the obstacles crush him without anyone ever offering their help or carrying him off the court. I don’t want him to be alone and struggling until he reaches the point of breaking. ;-;

5 words to best describe them: Repressed Gay Bastard I’m in Love With

My nickname for them: I don’t have any nicknames but I cough up rainbows whenever I try to speak this child’s name. Not sure how coherent I’ve been but god I love him a lot

[levbug]

— 𝐓𝐇𝐄 𝐁𝐎𝐎𝐊 𝐎𝐅 𝐔𝐒: 𝐜𝐞𝐥𝐞𝐛𝐫𝐚𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧

₁. CHAPTER ONE: gratitude

first of all, i would really like to express my gratitude to everyone !!! i’m just a kid who likes writing and i never expected to gain a following anywhere because compared to others, my writing isn’t anything special. despite that, more than a hundred people put their faith in me and believed that i could improve and do better. that, or they just find my shitposting funny :’] jokes aside, i’m really grateful for all the people who have reblogged my stories and wrote cute notes in the tags, or who just reblog them and say nothing, or maybe just leave a like. every time i receive a notification, the amount of joy i feel is just...indescribable. so, to everyone who has once contributed to my happiness: thank you. i hope i made you happy with my writing as well :)

₂. CHAPTER TWO: playing cupid

in which i pretend to be cupid and match you with your haikyuu!! soulmate !!

𝐑𝐔𝐋𝐄𝐒:

leave an ask ! tell me some fun facts about yourself ! what kind of sweets do you enjoy? do you prefer sweet or savory? what’s your favorite thing about a person? do you notice their eyes first or the way they speak? what are your hobbies? let us get to know you !! (ships are only open for haikyuu!! :<)

𝐍𝐎𝐓𝐄𝐒:

PLEASE refrain from leaving ship requests that center around physical appearance, zodiacs, and mbti’s !!! love is more than just physical attraction !!! (and also i can’t match zodiacs and mbti’s </3) you don’t have to be a follower of mine to participate, just promise that if you do leave a ship ask, you’ll follow me, okay? (that makes me sound so desperate i’m so sorry)

₃. CHAPTER THREE: love letters

this section is a little more personal :’) i’ve expressed my thanks to my followers, so now let me say thank you to my moots and people who just mean a lot to me on this website :’)

firstly, i would like to thank @lovingtobio for being one of the best moots ever??? 

dear lili, i never thought i’d meet my soulmate but ig tumblr’s just great at matching people up :’) i like to believe that, in a past life, you and i were the same person. we share so much in common that the only plausible explanation would be that our souls were stripped from each other and we landed in different bodies, separated by the great big sea. except, you got all the guts and the brains </3 lili, i love you so much that it hurts and i think about you every day, even if sometimes i forget to respond to your messages because i was half-awake in the bathroom when i read it. you mean so much to me and i love you <3

also, to chel @kitazura​ 

dear chel, we’ve never spoken privately before because you’re too cool and that scares me </3 only I can be the cool one around here >:(( jkjk pls don’t hit me with your toothbrush </3 even though we’ve only interacted through asks and tags and all that jazz, you mean a lot to me !!! you make up 1/3 of the three musketeers so obviously i love you and i’d challenge anyone to a sword battle for you !!! everytime you reblog one of my posts i get all giddy becus Omg the coolest kid in town just reblogged something i posted maybe I’M cool now too </3 anyways i love you, i love your aesthetic, i love your music taste, i love your sexy brain, i love your toothbrush, and i love chel. the end.

AND FINALLY, to @juhni027​

may i present to everyone, my husband, johhny, whose identity was unfortunately stolen by johnny suh from nct </3 jk if an nctzen sees that, pls dont come for me, i WILL cry <33 anyways hi johnny ur asleep rn cos u have the sleep schedule of a grandpa but ur MY grandpa and thats why ur the best :DD i hate u with every fiber of my being and if i could, id replace u with changbin and booseoksoon but ig im stuck with u and thats ok. thanks for kidnapping me back in 2nd grade and basically making me ur bitch </3 thanks for reading all my fics and telling me they arent complete garbage and also giving me the will to live and just ?? helping me become me?? it sounds sappy, but without u, i wouldnt be who i am today because we all know how shy i used to be </3 anyways suck my left toe i hope u swallow ur peppa pig toothbrush

and...that just about ends my list LMAO jkjk </3 i have so many moots who are so lovely and wonderful and i just love them all !!! unfortunately i’ve only either had short interactions with them or i’ve never spoken to them at all, but please know that i love and appreciate you as well !!! i just get awkward with new people because i don’t know if i can match their energy, so sorry 🥺👉👈 i love you all tho and i will profess my love for any and all of you if you asked me to !!! i’ll even shout it in the middle of a grocery aisle !!!

₄. CHAPTER FOUR: justice

lastly, please sign this petition and donate if you can !!! it’s a petition to help seek justice for sonya and frank gregorio. if you want to learn more about this case before you sign or donate, please refer to this post. 

all posts related to this event will be tagged under #rissie’s night with the gang !!! this event will be held until december 30th, 2020

[eremiie]

this is for the matchup! congrats on 500!!

can you only include the men please?

i have short brown hair with an undercut, but enough hair to be pulled back in a man bun. 5'3, freckles all over, green and brown eyes, glasses, a slimmer build but a little bit of pudge in my belly and thighs.

im an aquarius and a ISFP-T

my personality: im definatly enjoying quarintine cause i dont have to talk to people as much lol. i have a core group of friends that i prefer to stick with and im pretty outgowing with them, but meeting new people makes me shy. i like to think im funny but its mostly just dad jokes. i can be so stubborn sometimes its not even funny, and if i dont like a conversation ill just ghost you then feel bad about it, but it'd only be like for a day then id talk to you again. if i dont do something perfectly the first time it's hard for me to find the motivation to continue it.

love language: hug me, please? just a little hug? im so touchstarved if someone would hug me i think id die. gift giving is a big one too, i love to give my friends/partners gifts and see them so happy when they open it. pet names, please. sharing interests too. ill watch stuff you like with you if you watch stuff i like with me

hobbies: writing, drawing, d&d, binging tlc shows & anime. i want to be a florist later on.

turn ons: remembering small things about me that others probably wouldn't, like what my favorite characters are or what my favorite food is. listening to me info dump about whatever im obsessing over at the moment and not getting upset over it, even if they don't like the topic, a nice voice is a plus too.

turn offs: lying, manipulating me, pretending to care just to shut me up, yelling, being a homophobic/transphobic piece of shit, putting very little effort in the the relationship.

i hope thats everything !!

thank you for the congrats, i hope you enjoy your matchup <3.

i match you up with...

reiner braun.

i match you up because...

reiner being an extravert and you being an introvert pairs well. he doesn’t mind that you’re shy at first and lets you take as much time as you need to open up to him. he laughs at your jokes no matter how corny you think they are, even if he doesn’t think they’re funny. your stubbornness doesn’t bother him and he probably just lets you do things as you please and will correct them when he gets the chance instead of trying to push on with you. reiner will give you all the hugs you want, pls, any form of physical touch you want he’s on it. oh, and gift giving? it’s literally right up his ally, did you see all the food he bought the eldians in that one episode?? so you reciprocating makes everything 10x better as well. he’ll indulge in your hobbies with you if you ask and has no problem listening to you go on and on about things you enjoy. he definitely remembers small things about you, and will point them out time to time to remind you that he remembers them. he’s genuine about everything even if he’s just trying to please you so he crosses out any of your turn offs.

he constantly brings you back things he finds in the store that remind you of him

you guys literally have couch conversations where the two of you just lay together as you tell him about things you obsess over

he likes to poke each of your freckles when you guys lay together and try to count them sob sob

he gets you to tell him about stuff to help him fall asleep at night

you always get him to proofread your works or pose for your drawings

he plays d&d with you when you ask but you always beat him

he likes to buy you flowers to arrange, and he’ll pick out ones of your favorite colors

your runner up was armin, i hope you enjoyed your matchup!

[shes-ddreaming]

the eyes that lost you ➸ lee donghyuck

i.

✧ destination ↬ best friends to lovers + fluff, angst,,, all that jazz yak

✧ a party of two for ↬ lee donghyuck x reader

✧ duration of flight ↬ 2.5k

✧ in stereo ↬ exo - what if

✧ in which your best friend donghyuck decides to pretend to be someone else’s boyfriend, leaving you to confront the only thing you’ve been avoiding your whole life—your feelings for him.

donghyuck had confessed to you a long time ago. and if you only knew that you’d be hurting like this now, you would’ve said yes to him in a heartbeat. but you didn’t; you had decided that your friendship was more important than anything, rejecting your best friend’s confession.

he took your rejection lightly, telling you that your friendship was just as important to him as it was to you. “look, y/n, i love you not because i had any intention of making you my girlfriend, but because... i love you for .. you. and if you’d much rather stay friends, then i’m all for it. i’ll be your best friend—whatever you want me to be, i’ll be.” he was sincere, and you appreciated that more than anything. you were more than grateful that donghyuck understood your reasoning behind the rejection.

and a day later, things went right back to normal, never a moment of awkwardness. he was still the same best friend you’ve had since you came out of the womb. it was as if his confession never happened.

and that’s all it took for you to make lee donghyuck your best friend for life. he was your constant, the one person in your life who has always stayed by your side. so many of your friends have come and gone, but donghyuck wasn’t one of them.

here you were, not even 3 years later, your eyes were on your best friend whose hair has grown a little longer from how it was when he confessed. he’s a lot taller now, standing a good 6 inches or so above you. it seems like a lot about him has changed, and his feelings for you were not an exception. but there was one thing that could never change, and that was you being his best friend.

the object of his lingering glances is no longer you, but it just had to be kang mina. you weren’t surprised—she was annoyingly pretty, smart, and funny. not only that, she happened to be the class president. donghyuck? vice president. everyone called them a match made in heaven. you hated how you felt when he was around her. you hated how your heart would fall every time you caught sight of him stealing glances at her. it wasn’t fair. it wasn’t fair to donghyuck. what right do you have to catch feelings for him when you let him suffer from his feelings for you for so long?

the guilt had eaten you up for a long time. you liked to believe that your suffering now was your way to repay the pain you caused donghyuck for liking you without any reciprocation all those years.

he always reminded you that he was alright with the way you two were, that you rejecting him didn’t hurt him as much as you thought it did, that he was glad you two were best friends. but it was hard to ignore his obvious feelings for you. you knew deep down that you were hurting him by staying friends, but he never complained. he quietly loved you until he developed feelings for someone else.

it was your turn to realize your feelings, only now it’s too late. you’re in love with your best friend but he’s in love with someone else.

however, it probably wouldn’t hurt as bad if he hadn’t been fake dating her. maybe then you wouldn’t see him in so much pain. you couldn’t bear to witness seeing him doing anything and everything for her when she doesn’t even feel the same way, just like he did for you.

“you’re a hypocrite,” mark says as you bore your heart and soul to him. these days, donghyuck sits with mina at lunch to continue to play the little charade they’ve been onto for weeks. mark lee has been your rock these past few months, always quietly listening to you and offering—what he would call—words of wisdom. you couldn’t count how many times you’ve gone to him to talk about your conflicting feelings about donghyuck. “be honest with me. is the fact that you’re no longer the object of lee donghyuck’s desire the driving force of what you think are your feelings for him?”

leave it to mark lee to be brutally honest with his stupid rhetorical questions. you sigh, putting your head down on the cafeteria table. you were a shitty person, a terrible, shitty person. you feel your lunch tray being moved away from your head. “do i have lettuce in my hair?” mark laughs at you, slapping your shoulder in the process.

“you did. but, i took it off of your hair, dumbass,” he softly pats your head like one would do to a crying toddler. “look, i’m sorry if that was a little mean. i hope i didn’t hurt your feelings or anything.”

“nah, it just got me thinking. do you think i’m projecting my desires of wanting a

boyfriend onto hyuck? or maybe i’m friend-jealous and i’m mistaking it for being in love with him?” you once again steal a glance at the boy who has been all over your thoughts lately and your heart disagreed. whatever these feelings were, they’re definitely not friend-jealousy or whatever mark had called it. you knew in your heart that you loved him.

“oh god i wanna die, i want to actually fucking die.”

mark has this amused look on his face as he helps you pack up once the bell rings for 4th period. “stop thinking about it for now, alright? we can get ice cream after school, it’s on me. i think i owe you.” he takes the textbook you were holding out of your hands and carries it for you, as he reaches his hand out for your backpack. you roll your eyes, taking it off and handing it to him. this was beginning to be a routine for you two whenever you’re sad. mark never lets you carry anything and always walked you to class.

“what did i do to deserve a mark lee?” you wonder out loud, followed by a kick to your shin from mark. you immediately took back what you said. “suddenly i don’t remember ever being friends with a kid named mark.” you hear his obnoxiously loud laugh and shake your head.

“shut up, loser!”

full sun (the best friend) 🌞💖: KDKDKD come heRE

[you questioned: “KDKDKD come heRE”]

full sun (the best friend) 🌞💖: STOP DOING THOSE REACTION THINGS AND REPLY FJDKDKDKD

full sun (the best friend) 🌞💖: PLEASE Y/N OH MY GOD

you: WHAT

full sun (the best friend) 🌞💖: pls come down to my floor rn i need sugar

you: what the fuck

[full sun (the best friend) 🌞💖 disliked “what the fuck”]

full sun (the best friend) 🌞💖: I PROMISE YOU’LL GET TO HAVE SOME OF THE COOKIES I BAKE

full sun (the best friend) 🌞💖: I RAN OUT OF SUGAR I NEED YOUR ASSISTANCE 😔🙏🏽

full sun (the best friend) 🌞💖: I HAVE A COUNCIL MEETING IN LIKE 2 HOURS AND I NEED TO HAVE THE COOKIES DONE BY THEN

you: oh shit i just checked i dont have any sugar

[full sun (the best friend) 🌞💖 disliked “oh shit i just checked i dont have any sugar”]

full sun (the best friend) 🌞💖: god why didn’t apple give the people™ the option to disheart something

full sun (the best friend) 🌞💖: you had one job

full sun (the best friend) 🌞💖: ONE JOB

you: KDKSKSKS IM SORRY LMFAO

you: ALSO I DONT EVEN THINK DISHEART IS THE RIGHT TERM FOR IT

full sun (the best friend) 🌞💖: come to the grocery store w me 🥺👉🏽👈🏽

you: fine 😔

“hey, neighbor!” you hear donghyuck yell from his door as you hold the button that keeps the elevator doors open.

you can already hear mark arguing “you two technically aren’t even neighbors! he lives like two floors below you!”

while donghyuck counters back saying, “yeah but if she lived on my floor then we would live right next door to each other!” you can recall this exact confrontation when the three of you were in 3rd grade.

you and donghyuck have lived in the same apartment building your whole lives—which is also a big reason as to how the pair of you reached best friend status.

“let’s go before the sun starts setting!” he was smiling as he ran towards you and you couldn’t even deny that your heart was doing backflips.

“hurry up before i let go of this button and leave you there,” you threaten him and he laughs, pretending to walk in slow motion. you let go of the button and the elevator doors begin to close in on each other, prompting a loud gasp from donghyuck as he runs as fast as he can to reach the doors before they close completely.

“y/n, what the fuck!” he cries once he reaches the doors and they open back up again. he had his hands on his knees in an attempt to catch his breath and you couldn’t contain your laughter. “i hate you, oh my god! i busted a lung out there trying to catch up to the elevator. i can’t believe you’d do that to me.” you were both laughing now and you watched as he pretended to sob.

the doors of the elevator opened back up once you reached the lobby and donghyuck takes this as an opportunity to run away from you to get to his car before you could beat him there.

he had his payback when he locked the doors before you could even open the door to his car, leaving you there for a good two minutes, yelling “karma, bitch!” before finally letting you in.

“you’re insane!” he just laughs at this, and you two call a truce to stop pulling pranks on each other for the duration of your grocery trip.

“alright, alright. i’ll go drop the sugar off to my house and i’ll meet you at the rooftop,” you nod, waving goodbye to him as he steps foot off the elevator with the grocery bag in his hand and you continue up to the penthouse floor.

you really didn’t know if this was legal. if you were being honest, you had a feeling you were putting your parents’ lease on the line every time you snuck onto the rooftop. you made your way out of the penthouse floor, opening the doors to the fire escape before you were finally met with the stairs that lead up to the rooftop.

you smiled as you looked up to the sky with its various shades of blue, purple, and pink. it was your senior year of high school and you knew you’d miss this once you left home.

you: HURRY UP THE SUN IS SETTING REAL QUICK

you: it’S NOT GONNA WAIT FOR YOUR SLOW ASS

full sun (the best friend) 🌞💖: FUCK FUCK FUCK WAIT IM PUTTING THE COOKIES IN THE OVEN FIRST

full sun (the best friend) 🌞💖: TELL THE SUN TO SLOW DOWN 😤😤 damn even the sun has no pATIENCE

you: damn riGHT so if you don’t hurry up you’re gonna miss it 😔

full sun (the best friend) 🌞💖: ALR ALR THEY’RE IN THE OVEN I’M USAIN BOLTING OUTTA HERE

and usain bolt, he did. donghyuck soon opened the doors out of the fire escape, finally getting a glimpse of the sky as the sun started to set. you seemed to have not noticed him, eyes focused upwards onto the sky.

he stopped in his tracks. donghyuck liked to think he no longer had any feelings for you. “not even any residue,” he would tell himself. but he couldn’t lie that there were some moments that he’d wish you had felt the same way as he once did. this exact moment would make it on that list. you looked cute. your small figure was a good ten feet away from him but despite the distance, he just knew there was no other place you’d rather be at the moment.

“finally!” you yell as he made your way towards you. “i was ready to lasso the sun and keep it here until you got your ass up here.”

he was staring at you, a small smile adorning his features. if the word fond could be personified, it would probably be this exact face he was making.

you finally let go of the breath you had been holding when his eyes leave your face and instead focus onto the sky. “god i’m gonna miss this.”

“the sky? i was thinking the exact-“

“no, us.” oh shit. oh shit. oh shit. you couldn’t even look at him. god, you were blushing like crazy and you prayed that he didn’t notice because you knew you were being crazy obvious right now. “i’m gonna miss us sneaking onto the rooftop to watch the sunset, you know? it’s just- i don’t know. senior year ending has made me become more... sad? i don’t think that’s the right word for it. nostalgic? maybe. every moment just has this sense of finality to it and that scares me.”

you were about to reply, but you were immediately cut off by the sound of his phone ringing. “hey, mina.”

and just as icarus flew too close to the sun, so did you heart. and now you felt it falling straight down to the sea. you didn’t bother to listen to the rest of his conversation on the phone. instead, you watched the sun while it painted the buildings a brilliant shade of golden yellow and casted a shadow onto the trees. but the view of the buildings could never compete with donghyuck as his tanned skin glowed in the golden sunlight and his eyes twinkled in a different shade of brown.

“crap, i almost forgot about my council meeting. i have to go pick up mina, too,” he had a small frown on his face and you giggled. lee donghyuck, how could you be so cute? “are you gonna be okay up here? i’m gonna go get the cookies ready. i’ll leave some at your door, as promised.”

you reject donghyuck’s offer of walking you to your door, telling him that you just wanted to stay here for a little while longer.

mork 🤢: damn senior year rly be hitting different 😩😔😫💦

you: MARK WTF JDDJDJ YOUR EMOJIS GTFO

mork 🤢: y/n i have a story omg facetime me #storytime

mork 🤢: i think my life is starting to become a coming of age movie LMAO

you smile as you read mark’s texts, telling him you’ll facetime him once you get back home. he was right though; senior year really did feel different, and it forced you to confront feelings you’d much rather keep buried, especially in the lee donghyuck department of your heart.

hello! if you made it this far, then thank you 🥺 tbh i was reALLY SCARED TO POST THIS IDK I HAVEN’T ACTUALLY WRITTEN ANYTHING IN AWHILE !! this WILL be continued so stay tuned !! 💖 kjdfakjl also aren’t we all just tryna be hyuck’s best friend 😔✊🏽

[yievie]

whew! what’s up everyone! my name is crissy and yes, i am the clown who sent my account ask on anonymous last night. luv that for me! I GOT A COOL FAMILY ICON IM CRYING!!! now this is yi eun hye, better known as evelyn yi or evie, paging dr. sexy md don’t call her that though, she’ll kill you omg the second eldest princess of the four neglected korean princess sisters aka the mom friend sister or the buzzkill responsible sister. 

~`click anywhere here for a link to my app ~

under the cut i’m gonna throw some important personality and background stuff along with maybe? half-formed plot ideas? if not i’ll make a follow up post later, but pls like this plot if you wish to plot, i’ll try to come bother u. my ims are open hmu anytime (also bc im anxious af to b first message bc im BABY) and I ALSO have a discord located at quarantine queen#2918 where i’m usually v v v active. (lmk if u cant add me shoot me a message on here and ill fix it) ok imma shut up here is cranky daughter! ITS LONG SRRY

( pS: also if my blog is too hard to read just stick /mobile on the end of the url xx )

background 

the empress and emperor of korea had 5 kids, 4 daughters, 1 pampered son and evie was the second oldest daughter after dianna but like, she’s bossy and high strung and acts like the oldest anywayS so it doesn’t matter!

woo! however, korean tradition is rooted deeply in patriarchy and other backwards thinking,  >:(((( so evie’s parents basically pretended like their son was the only kid they had and sent evie and her 3 sisters off to swedish boarding school to ROT as they each turned 10 and forgot abt them while they groomed their son for the throne! thx mom n dad! luv u too! sdjlaksjd

during her time at boarding school evie was expected to not learn much of anything, not do anything spectacular, she wasn’t expected very good grades or to be smart or successful or anything bc that was Men’s Work and so evie did . . . THE EXACT OPPOSITE.

evie EXCELLED in school, straight a’s, top of her class, honors, ap valedictorian, which meant all nighters, nose bleeds at 2am from studying too hard, looking dead walking through the hallways, eating ramen 25/8, falling asleep w her face in her textbooks, getting bullied a lot for being a nerd and Not looking like her sisters and like...the creature from the black lagoon.

her parents, understandably, were not very happy with this but it wasn’t until she wanted to go to medical school that her parents were like FURIOUS. to them, women, esp the princesses, were only supposed to get married, have kids, THAT WAS IT. so evie wanting to be a doctor enraged them. STAY MAD!

they tried to have her engaged SO. MANY. TIMES. but she has a really repellent personality, she’s very kat stratford from 10 things i hate about you. and is rude and states her very liberal very socialist opinions often, dresses sloppy and hurts mens feelings a lot just for fun so they all went rUNNING from those match appointments! her parents literally are losing their minds they don’t know what to do w her theyre like god why did we give birth to the aNTICHRIST!?!?!?

not wanting anything to do with her parents, evie got into college and medical student on scholarship based on her own merit and skill. evie went to the seoul national university for 4 years then did a 2 year residency at the country’s top hospital, becoming one of the best on call heart surgeons there.

the korean media likes to clown on her A LOT! bc shes scary and angry and cares very little abt her appreance is A DOCTOR and not a princess really for the opposite reason they clown on dianna but evie does not really care she doesn’t care abt impressing people, just saving lives and proving people wrong. finger guns

but yes! thats what u missed on glee. evie was a heart surgeon in korea before being shipped off to thailand! shes v salty by the way ... even more than usual.

fun facts?

evie wears massive grandma glasses to see bc shes BLIND when shes in line with her sister people do not think she’s related and are like “OMG OMG THE PRINCESSES!!! BUY WHATEVER U WANT ON THE HOUSE I--oh? maam? uh? can we help u, ahjumma?” HELP

very dry, mean, will call you out on ur shit and hurt ur feelings probably. doesn’t really know how to Chill or have fun, stays out of drama and parties for the most part literally that old man that tells u to get off their lawn

LOVES HER SISTERS!!!! LOVES THEM!!! moms them and nags the FUCK out of them tho abt everything. wear a sweater its cold, drink water, dONT DO THAT GET DOWN FROM THERE, i told u to eat before u drank all that soju pabo!!!! skhaslkfh BUT SHE LOVES THEM VERY MUCH HER WOOOORLD the only people shes kind of nice to

as stated, has tried to been matched up before but has basically scared away all her matches by being A Lot and not polite or dainty and burping probably

her mom calls her all the time to talk abt how shes having a heart attack bc her second daughter is an unmarried, childless, spinster with a cat who is embarrassing her by being a doctor and being loud and obnoxious and outspoken against the royal heirarchy and right wing politics. evie just puts her on mute and lets her keeping yelling at no one for the next hour

loves beer, loves fried chicken, very unladylike, wears oversized sweaters and her hair messy and watches love island australia and the bachelor just to make fun of the people being in love and stupid i think secretly she kind of wants it but...thinks shes unlovable and will die before she says that shh

bisexual legend! cue mr and mrs yi screaming somewhere

not that it matters bc she cares little abt romance and sex and always put work and school before everything so everything touchy like that she either ends abruptly or stays the hell away from

never parties or goes out but when she does get really drunk gets very cute and touchy and happy there is one video on the internet of her like on a table ashdkh yikes 

is soft deep down just like *shrek voice* donkey, orges are like onions they have layers and u gotta get past a lot of them for her to get past her level 4 tragic backstory and into the soft, vulnerable part of her personality its nice i promise she is SQUISHY

weird plots???

best friend? im sure she has one somewhere. or friends at all? people who arent scared of her who shes nice to....mostly

enemies woo! hate her its very easy to hate her so do it

u want to do a daredevil thing like when matt shows up bleeding and dying or after a fight or something and she patches u up

just anyone need a doctor bc paging dr sexy md~

past loves? boyfriend? girlfriend? weird flings? weird tension unresolved stuff WOOO

ANYONE who broke her heart for the angst and drama

hit on her itll b funny

anyone who she was previously matched w who she scared off

someone shes currently trying to be matched or betrothed to GOOD LUCK

someone she has a crush on YIKES or vice versa

any of the college kids need a tutor? 

roommates? 

ANYTHING PLS HMU <333