#these do not include any genuine spoilers in case it needs to be said

[jeccoart]

everyone thank the white mist for agreeing to this special issue ^-^ chapters 7 & 8 of Extra Nemora are all DONE AND READY TO POST ! theyll come out one per month

[extensionallydefined]

It's time for a sequel! My last essay post was about the thematic relationship between standard Persona 5 and the added Royal content, and there I said that I'd do another little writeup on individuality in that context. I'm going to assess it especially regarding the Royal Trio. So here it is! As always, spoilers, you've been warned.

(This is post-finishing-the-writeup extensionallydefined here - this one's a long one, get ready! It gets into character study territory, yay!)

So, I wanna approach this topic from the lens of the characters of Akechi and Sumire. They're two characters whose individuality and autonomy are heavily put into question in Maruki's desired reality. But before we discuss them.

In Maruki's reality: 1. Your suffering is eliminated. 2. Your wishes are granted.

These are its two basic precepts. In the case of people like Akechi and Joker, it's stated that reality has been rewritten in such a way that they didn't commit any crimes. If we follow Morgana's logic of the world being a product of cognition only, then we can assume that this was done by altering everyone's memory to remember a world where the mental shutdowns and changes of heart never happened.

This means that people's prior actions and lives can be altered via perception, and we can see that this can happen to the individual themselves too - It follows that if Futaba fully believes her mother to be alive, she does not remember anything that happened during, at the very least, her Palace arc during the game - including the choices she made during it.

This means that Maruki's reality fundamentally alters people's perception of their own identity. It's no secret that people's memories are one of if not the most constitutive part of their identities, so if Maruki can change someone's memories, he can change their identity itself.

I wonder, if Maruki deems that someone's identity causes them too much pain and suffering in relation to their desires, is he willing to change it? And if someone desires their identity to be overwritten, will he do it? The answer is yes to both: Akechi is the first case, and Sumire corresponds to the second question. Oh hey! It's like the Royal Trio have very relevant thematic connections!

Let's do Akechi first, since my posts here are thinly-veiled Akechi propaganda in the end. Akechi's whole "thing" is that he's been under others' control his whole life, and he's been putting on different kinds of masks to achieve his goals. Personally, I believe both "Detective Prince Akechi" and "Black Mask Akechi" are not "the real Akechi".

Detective Prince Akechi corresponds to his public persona - the Ace Detective, the celebrity. He goes on talk shows and acts nice, he's a hero of justice, and his sole purpose is uncovering the truth.

This is a mask, of course - He doesn't have that much regard for the truth, and although he does seek his justice in a way, it is not the one he preaches online. His Detective Prince mask is the one that, as he says himself, he uses so that someone will want him around.

On the other hand, we have the Black Mask persona (Holy shit Persona reference?) he utilizes. This one is definitely more genuine than the regular Akechi, but I think his ruthlessness when acting as Black Mask, especially before 3rd semester, is forced as well. I think too many people forget what Ryuji says before his fight:

I actually agree with Ryuji's theory here. I think Akechi needed to force himself to go psychotic to fight the Phantom Thieves after losing the first time. His Black Mask persona is one where he lets himself be controlled by his anger and his thirst for revenge, it's his mask of *Spite*. It's the one that pretends to hate Joker (which is partly why Morgana telling him that he doesn't hate Joker is one of the things that prompts him to use Loki on the PTs). Maybe I'll write more about this if I ever do a deep dive on him, but for now, know this: Akechi's Black Mask is what it says on the tin, a Mask.

The real Akechi is somewhere in between, and somewhere else entirely at the same time. I think the fully genuine Akechi is the one we see in Joker and Akechi's interactions during the Third Semester. He's more than just Robin Hood and Loki. He's the Akechi that can awaken to Hereward.

The thing is - the real Akechi is the way he is because of what led him to develop those masks. Even if they are his "personas", they're still parts of him, born of his pain and suffering and his struggle to get what he thinks he wants.

And that's the thing, isn't it? Maruki denies him that. He takes away his crimes - So he at least takes away Black Mask Akechi. During 3rd Sem, Akechi is aware of this, but in the "accept Maruki's reality ending", the PTs and Akechi are totally chill, described as friends - like nothing bad ever happened.

That's not our Akechi.

That's a sanitized, perfect little version of Akechi that Maruki thinks is the best one for Akechi. But in a way, he's taking away the life and identity that Akechi built for himself - He doesn't think that the flawed Akechi deserves to live. And if you, Joker, decide to take Maruki's reality? That's the ultimate betrayal. You tell Akechi to his face that you prefer the perfect version of him. You're just like the foolish masses that rally behind the Detective Prince - you want the version of him that's happy all the time and can do no wrong. Choosing Maruki's reality is an affront to Akechi's agency, that much is obvious - but it's also a betrayal of his wishes and a violent attack against his very sense of identity.

It's ironic, isn't it? Even if Maruki presents his reality as the one where Akechi lives, that's not our Akechi... So he dies either way. Except if we fight Maruki, he maintains his autonomy til the end, and if you ranked him up to rank 10... his death is still ambiguous.

(And if you're a Shuake enjoyer like me, be it for their platonic, romantic or whatever-they-got-going-on-over-there dynamic... This is just perfect angst material. Chef's kiss.)

After this whole Akechi rant (Goodness me this is turning out Really long I hope I can keep people's attention sksks), let's take a look at Sumire.

Sumire is someone who wants her personality to be overwritten. She does not want to live as someone who led her own sister to die. She wants to be the vessel through which Kasumi's goals are fulfilled. She wants to be Kasumi.

But what does it mean for Sumire to be Kasumi? If we follow our logic, it means that Sumire has to die. She disappears. Her self-perception has to be altered to such an extent that she will not exist anymore, but rather an amalgamation of what Sumire thinks Kasumi is like, what Maruki thinks Sumire wants and Sumire would be born out of the actualization of her wishes. In a way, what Sumire is saying is... she wishes she was the one who died that day instead of her sister. But she still wants to help her sister fulfill her wish. So, instead of just telling Maruki "I want my life exchanged for my sister's" she says she wants to become Kasumi altogether. Kasumi can live through her, bringing the sisters together.

Sumire wants to lose her individuality. Akechi does not. This makes them clash directly. But in the end, Sumire accepts that 1. Her sister was more flawed than how she saw her. 2. She should carry on her sister's wish because it was their collective wish. 3. She should do it as herself, because she has as much worth as Kasumi. So, she ends up carrying on Kasumi's wish, but without losing her identity and creating the "Kasumire" that we meet during the base game. "Beauty in devotion", as they say.

So, in conclusion, what does Maruki's reality do for individuality? It prioritizes the reduction of suffering and the fulfillment of wishes above the subject's self-perception. In the end, Maruki's actualization works through changing cognition - And if cognition is a part of ourselves, well... In a way, we could say that the person whose wishes Maruki grants disappears in favour of a version of themselves whose wishes have been granted. Autonomy-wise, even if Maruki grants people's conscious wishes, it's not like he asked: "Hey, would you wanna live in a new reality with all these philosophical implications?" I think he realizes this to an extent, which is why he allows the Phantom Thieves and Akechi to challenge him.

First, he prioritizes dialogue, but he knows conflict may be unavoidable. "May the strongest will decide our fate" - something like that.

Maybe my point of view is very anti-Maruki, and I'm not trying to hide it. I was against Maruki from day 1, just like Akechi. (To be clear, I don't hate the guy, I love him as a character, but we have vastly different worldviews). I highly value individuality and autonomy and I don't subscribe to Maruki's brand of utilitarianism/hedonism. But I think these rough kinds of trains of thought are the ones that P5R demands from us, and I love it for that. I think my next essay will be about Maruki and death, relating P5 to P3 and Maruki's utilitarianism to Nietzschean ideas of life-denying slave-morality. Yeah, we're going deep into the philosophy sauce in the next one. I hope you'll stick with me for that!

(Btw I added images by popular demand - I hope they help with reading!)

[grayintogreen]

really enjoyed your post abt essek and redemption because i feel like a lot of people in this fandom (and fandom in general) equate redemption with softness. shadowgast shippers especially like to grind away at essek’s razor sharp edges to make him smooth and palatable, when in reality he’s a bitch and a hater and a bastard too. he’s capable of softness, yes, and he’s fought hard for that softness, but being soft does not come naturally to him. there is no cozy cottage without an eighth level gravity fissure.

Hello!! I’m a huge devotee to redemption arcs, but I feel like most people (including creators) equate redemption arcs with a character “becoming good” and this isn’t generally the case because good is subjective for starters and, for another, every bad guy is a person who had a reason to become that way and choosing to switch sides doesn’t magically make those reasons go away. They are going to have that baggage still and some might want to keep it to fuel them in better endeavors.

I’ve been really exhausted by “fanon Essek” and the woobiefication of him by making him a cute little arcane nerdery house husband. Seeing him again in canon and seeing Matt committed to his sharp edges proves that Matt 100% understands that just because you can be soft doesn’t mean you aren’t willing to bite. Essek and Caleb are both kinda murdery and they are not so good and wholesome and domestic that they can’t burn a swath through their enemies.

It’s genuinely proof of how a lot of fandom CANNOT handle flaws of any kind. They’re either are a trash person who never gets their flaws called out (spoiler not every flaw NEEDS to be held up and examined narratively sometimes they’re just going to be a cunt forever and you have to see if you can live with that) or the flaws are smoothed over or justified. People are COMPLEX. People who used to be able to justify doing horrible things doubly so.

Tl;Dr thank you. I’m so glad Matt has never backed down from Essek being the guy who said he’d help Caleb break time if he wanted to do it.

[lucky-clover-gazette]

prince's gambit highlights & annotations

chapter 12

indented text is from the book. some quotes have commentary, some do not. some comments are serious, and some are definitely not. most of them will only make sense to people who have read the series. and, like, there are spoilers. so please read the books first if you're interested!

also: part of the reason i'm doing such a close reading is to study cs pacat's style, especially in terms of how she does romance and erotica. there are "craft notes" that might seem weird, like i'm being redundant or restating something rather than analyzing, but those are more things that i want to remember/take away from the writing!

i'm going to tag these longer posts with "sam reads capri" in case anyone wants to read them all at once.

this is a google doc i wrote with overall content warnings for the captive prince series. it's not perfect, but i do think it's important to include.

Laurent gave Damen a long, pensive look and said, eventually, ‘Yes, the trap is closing and there is nothing else to be done.’

context: sarcasm. he would never admit this if it was true

An hour put several miles between them and the rest of Laurent’s men, and that was when Laurent pulled on a rein and circled his horse around Damen’s briefly; he was watching Damen as though he was waiting for something. ‘Think I’m going to sell you to the nearest Akielon troop?’ said Damen. Laurent said, ‘I’m quite a good rider.’ Damen looked at the distance that separated his horse from Laurent’s—about three lengths. It was not much of a head start. They were now circling each other.

i can’t tell if they’re genuinely questioning each other, or playfully proposing a race. honestly with them it’s probably both

also, do you think their horses are tired of their bullshit? do you think they’re falling in love too?

Relaxed in the sunlight, Laurent watched him approach, as one expecting an arrival welcome and familiar.

this is such a sweet moment. i hope nothing happens to interrupt it

It would feel so right to rejoin them, to emerge from the grey maze of Veretian politics, and return to something that he understood: the simplicity of knowing his enemy, and facing a fight. He turned. Laurent was watching him. He remembered Laurent sizing up the distance between two balconies and saying, ‘Probably,’ which, once appraised, had been enough for him to jump. He was looking at Damen with the same expression.

moment of truth damen!

He could take Laurent down the hill and deliver him into Akielon captivity. The desire to do that thrummed in his blood. Nothing was standing in his way. Damen pressed his eyes closed briefly. ‘You need to take cover,’ Damen said. ‘We’re inside their scouting lines. I can ride as lookout until they’ve moved on.’ ‘Very well,’ Laurent said, after a heartbeat passed with his eyes watching Damen steadily.

YAYYYYYYYY

He had to be cautious—not only for Laurent’s sake, but also his own. He was wearing Veretian clothing. Under normal circumstances, an encounter with an Akielon outrider would not be a threat to a Veretian. At worst, there would be some unpleasant posturing. But this was Makedon, and among his forces were the men who had destroyed Breteau. To men like that, Laurent would be a prize beyond measure.

wait damen i thought we were talking about your safety, not laurent’s. oh well

Damen returned to his horse, mounted, and picked his way carefully along the wide, rocky stream bank to the shallow cave that, to his searching eyes, appeared empty at first. It was a well chosen spot: the entrance was hidden from most angles, and the danger of discovery was low. An outrider’s job was simply to ensure the terrain was clear of any obstacles that might impede an army. It was not to check every crack and crevasse on the unlikely chance a prince might be squeezed in there. There was the dull rattle of hooves moving on stone; Laurent emerged from the shadows of the cave on horseback, his manner carefully casual.

he knew where to find him <3

Do you think I’d get on well with Nikandros of Delpha?

foreshadowing

The idea of Laurent let loose on the political landscape of northern Akielos did not make for appealing thoughts.

foreshadowing

‘I wouldn’t have to tell them you were a prince to sell you to that troop.’ Laurent held his ground. ‘Not really? I would have thought twenty was a little grown up for that. Is it the blond hair?’ ‘It’s the charming temperament,’ said Damen.

Though the thought existed: If I took him with me to Akielos, he wouldn’t be given as a prisoner to Nikandros. He’d be given to me.

if you’re curious about that scenario, damen, allow me to introduce you to a little website called ao3

(is there a fic about this happening at this specific point of the story? if not, there should be. they’ve built up their relationship so much and, if in character, damen would be mostly concerned with keeping laurent safe. kind of a like a reverse book 1 situation.)

If the tactic didn’t occur to Kastor, it would certainly occur to Jokaste.

i think they should give her an official role in the government. not that i like the akielion government. i just think she deserves a seat with all the other shitty people

Laurent said, ‘To get what you want, you have to know exactly how much you are willing to give up.’ He was regarding Damen steadily. ‘You think your delightful Lady Jokaste doesn’t know that?’

so laurent has totally figured out that jokaste specifically betrayed damen and sent him to vere. this is an underhanded reference to that. also this is a pretty good hint that laurent Knows

There was only one thing he could do. As the spray of water sheared up from under his horse, he hefted his sword, changed his grip, and threw. It was, emphatically, not a throwing weapon. It was six pounds of Veretian steel, forged for a two-handed grip. And he was on a moving horse, and many feet away, and the man was moving too, towards Laurent. The sword drove through the air and took the man in the chest, ramming him into the ground and pinning him there.

not the yeet of death...

‘I saw you fall.’ Damen heard the rough sound of his own voice. ‘Are you hurt?’ ‘No,’ said Laurent. ‘No, you got to him.’ He had pushed himself up into a splayed sitting position. ‘Before.’

i love this reaction. he’s dazed and in shock. he doesn’t elaborate on the “before.” it’s like he’s giving a status report, or at least trying to deliver it as such

Concerned with the possibility of injury, he was only distantly aware of Laurent looking back at him.

laurent might have just fallen a little tiny bit in love with you, damen. also literally fallen. ouch

‘Can you stand? We need to move out. It’s not safe for you here. Too many people want to kill you.’

and that’s a wrap on damen being reluctant to protect laurent! it’s down bad 24/7 pretty much from now on :)

He was staring at Damen.

damen: are you okay?? we've gotta get out of here

laurent:

‘I’m sorry,’ said Laurent. Then he said, ‘We can’t leave him here.’ He wasn’t talking about the horse. Damen said, ‘I’ll do it.’

this is an interesting contrast to the scene in book 1 where laurent remorselessly makes damen hold a guy so he can slit his throat. here, laurent apologizes. here, he says “we.” here, he doesn’t force damen to do it. and here, damen voluntarily does what needs to be done, so the recently-attacked laurent doesn’t have to.

When it was finished, he walked out of the undergrowth and found a place to clean his sword.

craft note: i like how this is written around the central action, instead of just naming the action itself. like it’s not just “so he killed the guy.” pacat tends to do this with sex, too.

It meant sharing a horse.

and there was only one horse…

Laurent’s gelding had a limp, which Laurent, on one knee, drawing a steady hand down its lower leg until it pulled its hoof up sharply, pronounced a sprained ligament. It could follow on a lead carrying the packs, he said. It couldn’t carry a rider.

horse girl laurent! saving this horse to make up for the one his uncle poisoned and forced him to mercy-kill in book 1!

So Damen swung into the saddle. A moment later he felt Laurent’s hand on his thigh. Laurent’s toe nudged into the stirrup. Laurent pushed up behind him, shifting until he was snug in position. His hips fitted unselfconsciously to Damen’s. Once he had settled, he clasped his arms around Damen’s midsection. Damen knew this about riding pillion: closer, it was easier on the horse.

LMAOOOO have fun with that guys

He heard Laurent’s voice from behind him, a little more oddly strapped-down than usual, ‘You have me over the back of your horse.’ ‘It’s not like you to give up the reins,’ Damen couldn’t help saying. ‘Well, I can’t see the way over your shoulders.’ ‘We could try some other arrangement.’ ‘You’re right: it should be me in front and you carrying the horse.’

this is adorable because they’re both very clearly flustered and not even bothering to hide it. they’re just bantering to avoid addressing it. laughing at the absurdity of the shared circumstances and their bodily reactions. it’s cute. they’re cute.

The horse’s rolling gait pushed their bodies together in constant rhythm.

i have never before considered the inherent eroticism of riding a horse with another person.

do you think their sexual tension freaks out the horse? do you think damen’s horse, who i’ve now decided is in love with laurent’s horse, is relieved that its injured partner has been brought along? are the horses qualified to file hr complaints, if damen and laurent get too weird with this? these are important questions.

Damen was aware that Laurent was taking more time with the horses than was necessary or usual. He ignored it.

this might be a strategy thing somehow, but i also think it’s sweet if laurent just takes comfort in the company of animals and is trying to make himself feel less shaken up after his near-death experience and the most sexually tense horse ride in recorded history

He would never know what had provoked that man to attack. Maybe he’d been thinking of the safety of his troop. Maybe whatever he had lived through at Tarasis or Breteau had stirred violence in him. Maybe he had just wanted to steal the horse. A third-rate soldier from a provincial troop; he would not have expected to meet his Prince, a commander of armies, and face him in a fight.

damen really did kill one of his people. damn. and he’s trying to be empathetic, because he’s damen, and that’s what he does.

‘I thought killing was easy for you,’ said Laurent. His voice was rather quiet. ‘I thought you did it without thinking.’

translation: are you okay?

‘I’m a soldier,’ said Damen, ‘and I have been for a long time. I’ve killed on the sawdust. I’ve killed in battle. Is that what you mean by easy?’

translation: i know i should be okay

‘You know it isn’t,’ said Laurent, in that same quiet voice.

translation: but you aren't

‘I know your feelings towards Akielos,’ said Damen. ‘What happened at Breteau . . . it was barbaric. I know it must mean very little to you to hear me say that I’m sorry for it. And I don’t understand you, but I know that war will bring worse, and you are the only person I have seen working to stop it. I couldn’t let him hurt you.’ ‘In my culture, it is customary to reward for good service,’ said Laurent, after a long pause. ‘Is there something you want?’

yeah guys this fireside heart-to-heart is totally all business. 100%

‘You know what I want,’ said Damen. ‘I am not going to release you,’ said Laurent. ‘Ask for something short of that.’ ‘Take off one of the wrist-cuffs?’ said Damen, who was learning—he realised somewhat to his surprise—what Laurent liked. ‘I give you too much leeway,’ said Laurent. ‘I think you give no more or less than you want to give, with anyone,’ said Damen, because Laurent’s voice had not been at all displeased.

what the fuck is wrong with them. i love them so much

(also, laurent not releasing damen is like a safety matter right now, right? for both of them, honestly, and their men. it's not like a flex of power.)

‘There is something I want.’ ‘Go on.’ ‘Don’t try to use me against my own people,’ said Damen. ‘If it comes to—I can’t do this again.’ ‘I would never have asked that of you,’ said Laurent. Then, when Damen looked at him with flat disbelief: ‘Not out of sweetness. There is little sense in pitting a lesser sense of duty against a greater one. No leader could expect loyalty to hold under those circumstances.’

1) i love this little hint of the “laurent is sweet” theme we see later on

2) the immediate certainty of “i’d never make you do that” really shows the real laurent, in a way we’ve rarely seen before. it’s like damen and the reader are finally being let in to the truth of him

3) “There is little sense in pitting a lesser sense of duty against a greater one. No leader could expect loyalty to hold under those circumstances.”

translation: i know that if you had to choose between me (the lesser duty) and your people (the greater one), it would be insane to expect you to choose me.

this reminds me of nicaise and laurent. as much as laurent tries to convince him otherwise, nicaise believes that laurent will always choose something more important than protecting him. neither of them expects anyone to stay by their side, or advocate for what they want and need. so they push people away instead and convince themselves that they’re meant to handle things alone.

‘I’ve never seen a throw like that,’ said Laurent. ‘I’ve never seen anything like it. Every time I see you fight, I wonder how it is Kastor got you in chains and onto a ship to my country.’

his big stupid heart

He had never, in those days, sought to put himself inside the mind of Kastor, of the men around him, their ambitions, their motivations; those who were not openly his enemies, he’d believed, were basically like himself.

NICE VS. GOOD THEME CENTRAL REALIZATION!! “those who were not openly his enemies, he’d believed, were basically like himself.” but here he is, having killed one of his own countrymen to protect the person who should be his worst enemy, reeling with the uncomfortable reality of his nation’s cruelty and forced to confront its victims. knowing, more and more every day, that he shares more values with laurent than he ever has with kastor or jokaste.

‘He poisoned my horse,’ said Laurent. ‘You saw her, the morning of the hunt. She was already feeling it, even before we rode out.’

something about laurent referring to the horse with “her” instead of “it” breaks my heart. he must have loved her.

‘That . . . was your uncle’s doing?’ The silence stretched out. ‘It was my doing,’ Laurent said. ‘I forced his hand when I had Torveld take the slaves to Patras. I knew when I did it . . . it was ten months to my ascension. Time was running out for him to make a definitive move against me. I knew that. I provoked him. I wanted to see what he would do. I just—’ Laurent broke off. His mouth twisted in a small smile that had no humour in it at all. ‘I didn’t think he’d really try to kill me,’ he said. ‘After everything . . . even after everything. So you see I can be surprised.’

what a huge re-contextualization of book 1. laurent hadn’t expected this consequence of his choice to honor damen’s request, but he had suffered it in silence instead of blaming damen or regretting the choice itself.

damen and laurent’s arcs both deal heavily with the idea of suffering alone—who’s doing it better, who deserves to do it, if they even need to suffer alone when they could suffer (and succeed) together instead. i’ll keep pulling at that thread as the reading goes on.

Damen said, ‘It’s not naive to trust your family.’ ‘I promise you, it is,’ said Laurent.

you guys are on opposite sides of a scale here. it’ll be good when you start balancing each other out

But I wonder, is it less naive than the moments when I find myself trusting a stranger, my barbarian enemy, whom I do not treat gently.’ He held Damen’s gaze, as the moment lengthened. ‘I know you’re planning to leave when this border fight is done,’ said Laurent. ‘I wonder if you’re still planning to use the knife.’ ‘No,’ said Damen. ‘We’ll see,’ said Laurent.

that laurent response is soooooo nicaise :’(

also, going from “whom i do not treat gently” to the eventual “i think if i gave you my heart, you would treat it gently” AHHHH

also also, laurent outright admitting that he trusts damen? and then saying that he’s still pretty sure damen is going to kill him with a knife, almost as if laurent deserves it? his brain is so mean to his heart

Damen looked away, his gaze raking the dark beyond the campsite. ‘You really think it’s still possible to stop this war from happening?’ When he looked back, Laurent nodded, a slight but steady and deliberate movement, the answer clear, unmistakable and impossible: Yes.

were you really expecting any other answer from mr. "probably"? or did you just want the reassurance of hearing/seeing him confirm it?

‘Why didn’t you call a halt to the hunt?’ said Damen. ‘Why ride and cover up your uncle’s treachery, if you knew your horse had been poisoned?’ ‘I—assumed it had been made to look as though one of the slaves had done it,’ said Laurent, a little quizzically, as though the answer was so obvious that he wondered if he had misunderstood the question.

again, laurent often seems to view his own suffering as deserved. like it’s a no-brainer. it’s a really interesting quality of his, that somehow exists at the same time as his self-assurance and strong moral conviction. maybe it’s because of that conviction that he’s so easily able to blame himself when he and/or the circumstances fall short of his moral standards.

He thought of Naos, who had been so certain. He wanted to lay the blame for what he felt on Laurent, but what he felt had no easy name, and in the end he said nothing at all, but banked the fire in silence, and when the time came he lay down on his roll to sleep.

he’s rounding a corner with the nice vs. good theme! i wouldn’t say it’s pleasant for damen to develop this kind of mistrust, but at least it makes him less delusional. and a certain amount of skepticism is important to keep yourself safe (said by someone like laurent, who has way more skepticism than a normal well-adjusted person)

He woke with a crossbow bolt in his face.

not a great way to wake up after a mini-crisis about trust issues

Damen now knew the precise number of arrows Laurent needed to have trained on him in order to shut him up. It was six.

He didn’t resist the gag either, though it came as a surprise; Damen saw his head jerk back a little, reflexively, as a cloth was shoved into his mouth.

gagging laurent is worse than taking his sword. his voice is his #1 weapon!

[damn-it-not-again]

18+ Proship Youtuber RPF Discord Server

i posted an interest post for this on my old blog, but that got nu*ked, so im putting it up here again:

I have an 18+ proship youtuber rpf discord server!

we work with an honor system in the fact that we trust you to be honest with the fact that you are over the age of 18. You don't need to disclose your actual age if you don't want to, but you do have to be over 18 to join. We have a strict set of rules that we expect to be followed.

Here are the rules:

1. Fiction =/= Reality This should go without saying but harassment or judgement based on someone's art or fantasies won't be tolerated. On the other side of this, do not share real abuse or illegal material.

2. Be A Decent Fucking Person Thoughtcrime isn't real and everyone is welcome here as long as they don't actively harm real people, full stop. No identity discoursing, no fakeclaiming. You don't have to understand someone to treat them with respect.

3. Adults Only This server is strictly open to users 18+ and as such allows NSFW content to be posted freely. We will not be implementing a blacklist. We expect you to be mature enough to avoid your triggers and mute channels surrounding topics you don't like or that make you uncomfortable. NSFW images (that includes gory and violent images as well as sexual ones) should be spoilered as a courtesy, but text is entirely up to your own discretion.

4. Anonymity While you must be 18+ to join, you are not obligated to share more information about yourself than you want to. You do not have to share any of your social media, your exact age, or any other information past the confirmation that you are over 18. Users found to be sharing the private information of others will be banned and messages containing this information deleted. If you wish to introduce yourself, however, you may do so in the intros channel.

Venting/Bitching And Complaing

Please only put these things in the serious chats. If found doing this in any other chat you will be timed out.

6. Reporting And Member Issues

If you have an issue with any member of the server please report it to the mods and we will handle it. It has to be a real issue of real life abuse, harassment, racism, sexism, homophobia, transphobia, stalking, violation of server rules, or other offense for it to be considered an actual issue. No action will be taken if it is petty online drama of cheating (video games or relationships (not in cases of abuse)), not liking someone else's ship, or other petty drama.

7.Content Creator Support

We allow the support of cancelled creators (buying merch, going to creator events, etc) here; with the exception of creators who have been convicted in a court of law as, or personally admitted to being, a sex offender or violent criminal. Creators that are openly bigoted or hateful are also not allowed (this does not include those who have genuinely apologised and changed their behavior). If it is unclear if support of a specific creator is allowed here please ask about it in the suggestions-and-questins channel, a mod will tell you if they are allowed as soon as one is available to do so. Refrain from posting about said creator until you receive an answer.

We know that these rules are strict, but they are that way for a reason. We want everyone to have fun in our server, and that cannot be done without rules.

That being said: All you have to do to join is like this post or DM me for the invite. I hope to see some new people joining the server very soon!

(I am only putting this in the main tags for reach. this is the only thing I will post in these tags.)

[catastrophicdisasters]

okay i know i yapped for like 2.5k in this post yesterday but like, more interviews and an entire day at work has passed, and ya bitch has More To Say

also i wanna like, clarify/tidy up what ive already rambled about AND add counter arguments to my own points (yes i could lose an argument with a lamppost what of it)

so like, in the OG post i talked abt a theory - from something Robert said in one of the recent interviews - where a possible alternative to death would be for someone to get entirely erased from the main timeline instead

and like, i think on that point i got a lil bit caught up in the theory and the possibility of a Good Tragedy Narrative and not The Umbrella Acadamy Narrative bc like, with all of the emphasis the show (and the cast in the s4 interviews) puts on famillial bonds, erasing a characters memory - either their memories of their family OR their family's memories of them - would just... kind of suck, actually?

i mean, it's still a possibility, but even then when i went into a large af ramble about who i think is most likely to die if they do choose to kill off a Hargreeves, none of my reasonings around their deaths even included that theory lmao

the closest i got to it was Five 'dying' by getting erased from the main timeline, but even as i was writing it, i was still envisioning it happening in a way where his family DOES remember him? and perhaps he just can't get back to them as it would cause some kind of paradox, and so it's tragic in that way? it was basically more of another "full circle" style theory; he started out using his powers to accidentally get himself trapped in a different time (not timeline, in this case, but still), and he ends the show by still being 'out of time', but this time it's his choice to be there. it's painful and yet still satisfying, provided that Five is actually happy with that choice - if i'm honest, that also solidifies to me that Five is the second most likely to die

man, i don't want any of them to die, they've all been through the shit and deserve to live 'normal' and happy lives for once?

ACTUAL spoiler warning!!!

ALSO SO, this is based on something Emmy said in an interview that released today, so I'm gonna whack a great big SPOILER WARNING on this - but she talked about filming a "goodbye scene" between Claire and Allison at the end of S6 (aka the end of the show) so that's.... very interesting

it also throws an entire BAG of spanners into my thoughts, because, well, why is she saying goodbye??? my estimate for where she would end up was that she would end up learning to balance her Superhero family with her 'ordinary' family, and learn how to be the mother she failed to be in the original timeline, and to learn how to have both families without jepardising the other, which... if she's saying goodbye to her daughter, i guess they're not doing that?

unless that's a red herring of sorts, and it's just them saying goodbye as Claire goes to college or something

but either way, that leads me into my next theory -

ACTUAL spoiler over!! back to regular theory

obviously the timeline is destabilising - or something similar - which is shown by all the stuff Gene and Jean have in the trailer, which actually also lends some credence that i didn't consider to my "ben has additional marigold because he's the only one of the siblings who we know exists in both timelines" theory

(although, what happened to the other children? they didn't get the marigold sucked out of them, but also if Abigail is alive in this new timeline, Reginald wouldnt have needed to create the super babies in the first place so... maybe they just don't exist. plot hole solved.)

so, what if they end up going back to the original timeline?

and i don't mean in a timeloop, because if it ends with a fucking timeloop i will genuinely throw hands. if it ends with a timeloop that will be the shittiest, LAZIEST possible ending?? throughout the show and throughout all of these recent interviews, theyve all talked about wonderful it's see where all of these characters end up, learning from previous seasons and mistakes, overcoming their trauma, finding their purpose and accepting themselves, growing and maturing as people - and if they then JUST UNDO ALL OF IT by putting them into a timeloop where they start back at S1?? absolutely fucking not. (and i was a voltron fan back in the day so i know a thing or two about shit endings-)

(tom hopper did say that the ending feels like a "book closed" ending that makes people maybe think for a while, and a time loop does not remotely fit that vibe to me, so... i have some hope?)

or going to yet another entirely new timeline? which kind of works with my "ben has been dead from the start" theory from the other post, along with the "Five ends up as his elderly self in a separate timeline and can't return due to risk of paradox or something" theory

that could leave a quite a lot of loose ends, though, if they were to get a say in how the new timeline looks, so... also not sure about that, either.

that said, reggie is clearly somewhat involved in this season, so maybe he just ends up patching up the holes in the timeline with the help of the marigold from some of the siblings? like, the ones who want to give up their powers (Viktor) get to do that, which helps fix the timeline?

tbh, the only person who my thoughts about have realistically been changed/challenge is Allison. but i also said from the start that i've never really known what they're trying to do with her, other than "get back to Claire" (and even that felt a little lost during S2) so...?

hey, maybe once the show is over and we know everyone's ultimate fates, i'll do my own lil rambly character & narrative analysis and how things changed or matched my expectations. tbh i probably will end up doing that, just to spare my partner from having to listen to me go on and on and on about these characters again lmfao

here's hoping it really IS a satisfying ending <3

[anxresi]

...I put WAY too much effort into this for it to be a simple blog post. :p

This Is a response to a post from @starryknightwrites. Their post starts in italics below, mine is below the stars in normal font.

...........

It is not the victims’ responsibility to save their bully.

(Miraculous Season 5 Spoilers be here)

I don’t know who all needs to hear this, but I’ve been seeing some… takes… around the ml fandom. Between Chloe defenders’ unwillingness to give her any responsibility for her actions and the writers’ determination to ruin her completely, I can’t choose a side.

It’s not Chloe’s 14-year-old classmates’ duty to save and bend over backwards for her anymore than it’s Audrey’s 14-year-old daughter’s duty to save and bend over backwards for her. Her classmates are kids with no experience dealing with abusive parents or who can barely sort out their own home problems. Not trained therapists who must know exactly what to do to make it through to Chloe. They’re also kids who suffer from Chloe’s cruelty all the time and are understandably hesitant to get in her face constantly touting self improvement methods. How counterintuitive to human behavior would that be? Twice bitten (or in this case 100+ times bitten), twice shy.

I’m sure Audrey has some trauma/valid reasons for being a jerk too, but no one is suggesting that Chloe spread herself super thin in the face of her assholery so that she can just CHANGE her.

Chloe’s classmates have been nice and open to her, given her chances, gone to her party and tried to include her in group events. They often only lash out at Chloe when she lashes out at them (if that), which is constantly. Marinette went out of her way to get her back in school and made an attempt to get her mother to open up to her. A misguided attempt, but AGAIN, Marinette is a child. She is not a therapist and she was meeting Chloe where she was. She knew Audrey would laugh in her face if she tried to use the “she’s your daughter and you should treat her better” route.

Anyone who says the class didn’t try hard enough with Chloe/ didn’t give Chloe a chance hasn’t met a middle school class. Those kids could be horrific to Chloe with all she has said and done. But they’re generally nice. And they demonstrated kindness to one another ALL THE TIME so it’s not as though Chloe doesn’t know how to be kind.

Chloe is 14. Not 4. She knows what kindness looks like. She’s not an alien, scouring the dictionary and hoping someone will PLEASE teach her how to kind. She, at this point in time, does not want to be kind. Funny thing about recovery. You have to want it. YOU have to want it. Any professional will tell you that. It takes more than people continuously bending over backwards in the face of your cruelty. All that will result in is doormats. No. In order to heal and to improve, you must be at a point of accepting responsibility for you and DESIRING change.

Chloe isn’t there yet. Nothing her classmates do will change it. Maybe it’ll take time and reflection. Maybe it’ll take a new setting. Maybe it’ll take a harder fall. But she’s not ready and that’s no one’s fault but her crappy parents and hers.

I don’t mind Chloe having to suffer an incredible low to rise, though I’m not sure if that’s what the writers are doing. The leaks for future episodes seem a tad too… vengeful- especially where Andre is concerned.

But let’s not lean all the way to the other end of the spectrum and eliminate Chloe’s personal responsibility from the matter. The primary factor in her turnaround will be CHLOE.

.............................

My take: There never will be a ‘turnaround’. The writers have made it quite clear that they’ll move Heaven and Earth to make Chloe the most hated character in the show, including, but certainly notwithstanding:

*The removal of any and all her obvious positive traits displayed during the first two-and-a-half seasons. Or just pretending they never existed. Now she’s just a one-dimensional pantomime villain, who lives to hurt others. Pathetic.

*Severing her few genuine relationships in the show, including the one with her once doting father (who now says he prefers an unrelated girl he met canonically a few months ago) and her childhood bestie (although they’ve had little to no interaction for a long time... will we even notice?)

*Specifically writing a FLASHBACK episode where she psychologically tortures everyone’s favorite bean Marinette at the swimming pool with SPIDERS. If cynically making up new ways to loathe Chloe as they go along doesn’t show the desperation of Thomas and friends to make Chloe Public Enemy No 1, nothing does. And hopefully, to anyone with half a brain, it won’t.

*All these ‘attempts’ to set Chloe on a different course by various characters in S4 and S5 come across as half-hearted and mealy-mouthed, with no chance of working. The dialogue is bad, the set-ups are awful and I am not buying any of it as genuine for a minute.

*The same way other people in the show are dumbed down for Lila’s blatant lies to work, some of Chloe’s fellow students seem to have taken stupid lessons to make her look worse by association. For instance, can anyone actually believe the Kim we know in the show is the same Kim in the leak for the episode Derision? I know he can be pretty dim sometimes... but he’s not lobotomized!!

*I’ve already discussed the ruinous introduction of Zoe at great length, whereby not only did this new Mary-Sue wannabe steal Chloe’s superhero position, but also her agency and potential on the show. But don’t you think it’s a bit of a coincidence Chloe progresses from a typical school bully to a complete monster the second her ‘very sweet’ sister arrives in Paris? I doubt it. Trying to make the new arrival seem better by comparison, no doubt. Laughable.

I could go on, but I’d be in danger of repeating myself from stuff I’ve already said in the months since it became clear just how much they were willing to throw Chloe under the bus. I never thought they’d do THIS thorough a job, though. At least we now know what Thomas is using his clout for behind the scenes.

I’ll just end by disagreeing with your final point... the main factor in Chloe’s fate on the show will be those who produce it, because fictional characters have no say how they’re written funnily enough. And as we’ve already established, the hacks who put together Miraculous have no intentional of reversing course from the heap of shit they’ve created, so her chances of getting ‘better’ are zero-to-none.

Besides, even if Chloe WAS real and had some choice in her own life, the fact she’s now a virtual prisoner of The Worst Parent In The World who intends to ‘take control’ of her existence from now on doesn’t tell me there’s much chance of her escaping this tragic cycle of abuse from mother to daughter (That Marinette our ‘hero’ ENCOURAGED in a previous episode, don’t forget).

Naturally, the writers didn’t consider the Unfortunate Implications of Chloe’s S5 hopeless ending whatsoever. Or they were too dumb to understand them. Either way, it’s an unforgivable error that could have more far-reaching consequences among the viewers than they can possibly fathom.

It also, talking from an artistic POV, sucks. Big time....

[phoenixfurred]

hi, i genuinely hate people who diss shippers. first off, this is going to be basically incomprehensible so be prepared.

so i ship sunflower (OMORI). pretty popular ship, between sunny and basil. i'm sure we can at least acknowledge that tropes in which childhood friends become romantic. (YES I KNOW THERE'S MORE BUT THIS ISN'T AN OMORI POST AND I DON'T WANT TO GO ON FOR ANOTHER 2 HOURS). the point is it's a pretty popular and reasonable ship, avoiding spoilers as best as possible they go through some shit together so of course they're close. i don't even know if i ship them romantically or just like very close pals. not close pals (tm) but close pals (regular).

alright, thats just a little context.

i come across a lovely post (/s) on pinterest even, shocker the safe haven is here to make me angry, that says something along the lines of "the omori fandom would be better without sunflower shippers" with the caption "sorry (not really)"

so i click on the post to see dozens of people agreeing, and i think one said that it didn't match the vibe of the fandom?? one person said they shipped sunflower and had about 83 replies to their comment which i didn't look through because i really am trying to be an optimist and its so h a r d. aanyway.

first of all, i'm sure you tumblr users (yes you) are at least aware of the jelsa (jack frost x elsa) phenomena (?) that was happening at some point even if you didnt participate yourself. obviously those people posting this type stuff either a. weren't around then (more likely) or b. got sent to ship conversion therapy (funnier?). because like how can one be so against such a normal ship. obviously theyve had their ups and down but that brings me to point 2.

so many people think that just because a ship could never work out, it means you can never ship it (cancel culture my enemy). THEY DON'T UNDERSTAND IT'S A NEED. a ship that has no angst between characters (controversial), is a dull one. what it's saying is "these characters have never had any obstacles to work around or to strengthen their relationship". in my humble opinion that makes it uninteresting. it's nice to see a relationship going well of course but its also nicER to see characters put in emotional effort.

part of the reason why fandom exists is so that you can make content that's not canon and that INCLUDES ships that'd be toxic in the actual media. genuinely if you think fanon has to follow canon silence your trap. if anything shipper who do this are more likely to mischaracterize characters for their own ship to work which goes against this mindset.

(side note please dont do that thing where you dumb down a character to one trait it's so genuinely irritating i want to ARGH)

people this immersed in what ships can work and which are acceptable and "fanon vs canon" (and then the "canon" is also not) and all that need to, not joking, please go outside and interact with more literature and real people.

it's the whole thing about modern media today being very self-indulgent, so many characters nowadays are written to basically be self-inserts, and when people see a main character acting problematically (ex. Lolita) they immediately assume it's the author projecting which it isn't. can confirm as an author, i would not eat people. that's what writing books is for, at least for me.

ALSO literally no shippers are "ruining" a fandom unless it's like. they genuinely want a kid and an adult to get into a romantic relationship. (things like that). in which case, seek help. DO NOT SEND ANYBODY DEATH THREATS EVER, EITHER. OH MY GOODNESS IT SHOULD BE SELF EXPLANATORY. but literally if anything its people who try to police (ick) what ships or characters are acceptable to like that ruin the fandom. if you do this i hope this reaches you so you can stop because oh my god.

it doesn't hurt you and it doesn't hurt the fandom nor should it concern you, because as we all know it's not a human handpicking things to show up on your fyp, so literally just scroll. just scroll! so easy, so simple!

anyway TL:DR don't harass people or hate on people because of a ship they like even if it's toxic.

[blackbirdswhispers]

My Dawntrail thoughts! Going to try and keep it relatively spoiler free but just in case I say something accidentally, it’s going beneath a read more:

First off, I want to say I genuinely enjoy FFXIV at large. I don’t dislike any part of the game and I think even in ranking expansions in order for me, there aren’t any disparate gaps between them. So between my least favorite and most favorite expansions it’s just not an effective way to gauge how much I like the game.

That being said, I would probably, and apparently to much controversy, rate Dawntrail between Shadowbringers and Endwalker, with only Heavensward topping them. Again, with the way I rate this game, they’re basically all 10s from me, but! (Heavensward>Endwalker>Dawntrail>Shadowbringers>ARR/Stormblood)

The dungeons and trials of Dawntrail are SO SO GOOD!! They hit me more and I foresee myself enjoying them more than the ShB dungeons/trials in the long term.

Story wise, I really enjoyed the overall arc of Dawntrail. I liked not being the pinnacle character. I liked sharing those knowing looks with my allies as we watched others go through tribulations of their own and supported them.

As a DRK player too, I often found myself thinking back to the job quest. Of Esteem and the ever present desire to just utilize strength over all else. As a resident Zeno’s enjoyer, it’s easy to see some of his parallels in the characters as well. So often have we been used as a tool of force, and in Wuk Lamat’s request for us to come and help her win the throne I could feel that DRK voice lingering over Ziiya, my WoL.

What better way to combat that instinct, the overwhelming power of strength and brutality, than the story we received instead. How glad I was for G’raha’s encouragement to go and see how things played out before making a decision. A tool of force we may be indeed, but how unknown we really were there. Less a threat by presence and more a true hidden ace.

We as the WoL are more like a big fish in a sea than a pond, but it was nice to have our horizon’s broadened so literally.

I personally also enjoyed seeing our friends have more autonomy. They had lives before us, and they continue to have lives outside of us. Yet they continue the include us and come to our aid and trust in the cause we’ve chosen to fight for. Maybe it’s just where I’m at in life in my ancient gamer years of my 30s, but there’s something that gets me every time when we get that kind of response.

The emotional stakes were lower in Dawntrail and personally? I needed that. Heavensward tore me up, and Endwalker has me so trained to cry I can tear up to certain songs with no priming. No one talk to me about those we lost along the way. My poor little heart and soul needed this vacation.

Did I still cry in Dawntrail? Yes. I’ll cry right now if I think too hard about a few moments. But I probably won’t need two years or more to recover this time. And that is perfectly okay with me!! I don’t want the game to take such a dark turn forever. I want to be able to enjoy the levity and not have Ziiya turn into such a haunted person.

After EW I fantasia’d for awhile because Ziiya was just too much emotion for me to contain every time I played. Thus was born the bunboy who would later become my alt in order for me to enjoy the other parts of the game.

Conversely I had planned to fanta to ladyhroth for awhile this time, and I find myself wanting to keep Ziiya as is instead! I’m excited for her to continue her adventure, especially if we get to see more of Erenville with his wanderings! And oh man do I want to continue seeing him.

In summary, Dawntrail was exactly what I needed right now. Even characters I disliked initially I found myself fond of by the end. I had no issues with the story pacing despite binging it over the course of three days. The instance content was top tier imo. I’m SO excited for the extremes and raids, both normal and savage. I can’t wait to see what the other content they have planned for this expac. It’s a 10/10 from me 💜

[cboffshore]

So what direction is OSSAS going in with the next installment, now that we've seen Nya power struggle with Nadakhan via seagulls and chess? 👀

I'm going to answer this one under the cut just in case someone who sees this hasn't read it yet (in which case: GO! that is a prerequisite for this course! get outta here! and leave me comments, dammit!), but I know that doesn't include you. You've been enrolled in the honors course.

The big thing right now is that plans are super fluid. I'm in the very loose brainstorm stage, which means I wake up at 3 am, jot something bizarre down in my ideas server, and then interpret in the morning and hope it works. Everything I'm about to say is subject to change, but with that being said, here's what #5 looks like now.

Timeline: We're jumping straight to episode 64, post-wedding. This is one of the few things that are pretty much non-negotiable. We know the buildup, the sword handoff, Nya's manipulation - I don't need to rehash that. Dan and Kevin did that for us. Instead, I've got the mother of all blank spaces to fill once Delara takes up residence in Nya's body.

Remember that line in IICT(OSC) where Nadakhan tells Nya he thinks that her being unconscious for the rest of her life would probably be preferable to having to endure his presence? Whether or not making sure she's comfortable is a genuine desire of his (spoiler: it's not. the possession is just him shoving her to the back of the storage closet so he doesn't have to deal with her shit. who'da thunk it?"), he's going to fuck it up, bad. This is partially because I've determined and highlighted that he is shit at checking his own work (source: the fact that anyone remembers Skybound at all, especially the floating temple! and I know there's that line in the ceremony, but that never happened, so, like... HUH????) and partially because, if I made it actually work as intended, #5 would just be like those Twilight chapters where Meyer represents a bunch of months with blank pages. (I've never read Twilight, but I've heard great things about that technique. It's not something I can get away with.) In other words: boring. I've always believed strongly in the importance of the Idiot Ball in any story, and this is no exception. Nadakhan once again has plenty of hands free to catch it.

Which, of course, means Nya's gotta be conscious for this, and as is par for the OSSAS course, pissed. Nadakhan's actually right that being unconscious would be an upgrade in this case (too obtuse to realize that and realize what a self-dig that is, yeesh). So: we've got a pissed off soul bouncing around while Delara takes her body for a test drive. That's a workable setting. What are we going to do with that?

WE ARE NOT going to insinuate any spicy activity between Delara and Nadakhan. This is also non-negotiable. I've seen that a handful of times in fics that bother to even acknowledge what's going on with Nya (and I can count those on, like, two fingers), and it's big-time DISGUSTANG. I don't think one can both rail against Nadakhan being a creep and then endorse those versions of the story... I'll move on before my ears start shooting out steam.

First off: you know my stance on SA in Skybound stuff. I'm sure as hell not writing it. Second, I genuinely don't think that's on Nadakhan's mind, and to act like it is cheapens his character. For my sake and his, I'm trying to work from the interpretation that he is both of the following:

This specific tattoo - that is, too enamored with the fact that holy shit he pulled it off to do anything but marvel while that goofy love theme from The LEGO Movie plays and everyone's hair does the slow-mo romantic swivel:

2. Too tied up in his own self-doubt to really give a shit about that. The single most frustrating and interesting sequence in the finale to me is the part where he badgers Delara about if she forgives and/or still loves him for what he's done. He can barely believe she's here, let alone that she forgives him! I'm not a fan of the idea that he can balance that shock and disbelief with Enthusiastic Adult Activities. I'm also hoping to keep going with that brief angle I mentioned where Nadakhan's got two names for that face now, and I don't think that could reconcile very well. Nope, sorry, dude! Pathetic Wet Chihuahua time for you. Nonexistent pants stay on. Nobody needs to see your legs.

Nya's had enough shit happen to her - even by my relatively clean standards! I'm not doing that. Also, I don't know how much I want to rehash the death scene, although maybe I'll change my mind and continue the trend of building on the glimpses from Small Cuts.

Here are some options for what I might do (again, all subject to change, just some general ideas I've tossed around):

Let Nya witness not quite the beginning of the possession. Wakes up five minutes in, realizes what's happening... major introspection opportunity, really. And you know I love introspection.

Have Nya give Delara a migraine just because. Like, an actual migraine, or maybe just a nasty thunderclap headache. If Nya can't operate her body solo, nobody can. This could also be her causing other types of chaos - maybe she tightens Delara's grip on Nadakhan's hook and he flinches. Because of the chess aftermath, of course. Or some such chaos - little tweaks, like she's reaching in from the backseat and futzing with the radio and the AC and the hand brake.

Pull Nya's soul out of her body entirely and just let her wander around and witness different parts of the finale. Maybe she's on the deck when Flintlocke gets his aim back. Maybe she's the reason that loose locker with the venom in it turns up - maybe she drags it out after Clancee stashes it to help the team find it faster. Maybe the only reason Jay manages to pick her up is because Nya bum-rushes Delara, shoves her out of the driver's seat, and then stops in her tracks just long enough to let Jay yeet her across the lawn. (Remember: the scream sound effect they use in that scene is Nya's!)

But who's to say, really?

Thanks for the ask!

[someuncreativi2]

[] What the Alia Fabula AU Archons do after the game ends []

(Spoilers for first four chapters of Genshin Impact)

As we can see throughout Genshin Impact, the archons change along with their respective nations. This makes me think of all the ways they can change and what they might do at the end of the game. So, including my own fan made archons, I have set out what they would do after the end of the game.

Firstly, Venti. To me, I see him changing the least; he probably still drinks his wine and plays at taverns and protects Mondstadt and whatnot. After all, it worked as well this time as every other.

Next, Zhongli. I have no doubt that he will continue to protect Liyue, but considering he’s given up the position of Archon, I see him trying to blend in with humans more- adapt to their modern customs, fit into societal norms, et cetera.

For Raiden, I think her arc is characterized by accepting change; Inazuma changed, meaning her ideals have failed, but ultimately, she is fine with that. It is still Inazuma, no matter what. For this, and also the Archon quest in general, I see her as trying to be more laidback- not hands off, but she’s trying to let Inazuma run its course.

Nahida is a unique case. She doesn’t have respect like the other Archons, and she doesn’t actually know much about being an Archon, seeing as how the Akademiya locked her away for her whole life. Personally, I see her trying to widen her horizons as much as possible, not only because she is the god of wisdom, but because she has a genuine interest in learning more about the world and its inhabitants.

Then, there’s Marione. In this AU, Focalors is someone else completely- Sandrone impersonating the Archon for her own gain. In this time, Marione was lessened to just a servant of Focalors without any free will of their own. After the game ends, after Sandrone resigns from head of Fontaine, I imagine that Marione would go around and try to regain their lost respect; meeting with the other Archons, restoring Fontainian nature, and rebuilding their own reputation.

Murata, like Nahida, is an interesting story. In this timeline, her and the previous Archon had a friendly rivalry going on, that is until the Cataclysm made her the only Archon of Natlan. Out of rage, she waged war on everyone and anyone who she saw as responsible for her friend’s death. Her chapter would be summarized by self-reflection- no individual was responsible for these happenings, but most people don’t realize that because they haven’t given themselves time to process. After this, Murata would put her war-prone tendencies to rest, focusing on trying to give not only her people the care they need from their god, but also herself the time to emotionally heal.

Odelayo is, to me, one of the only Archons that might legitimately give up the title of leader for their own selves, next to Zhongli, of course. After hundreds of years of living in fear and isolating herself from the world, desperately trying to shield herself from being hurt again by someone she wants to love- whether that be her family, her people, or even Pierro- she realizes, through the other Archons, that she doesn’t need to continue thinking that love, the concept she holds dear, is anything but good. Whether it be self-love, friendship, romance, or what have you, yes, you have to be vulnerable, but love has its place, and love can help us realize a lot about our world and ourselves.

After the game, as I said, she’d resign from being the Archon of Cryo (truth be told, she never actually wanted to be a god, much less the patron deity of Snezhnaya). She turns to trying to enjoy her life with those she cares about, traveling the world to see it for the good it has to offer rather than the bad.

In relation to these ideas, I drew a quick (well not quick cuz it took 4 hours somehow) piece of Odelayo traveling around Inazuma in a boat because fun

Oh btw Raiden isn’t here because she’s like sight-seeing in her own city and not because I didn’t have room for her lmao

[acacia-may]

For the headcanons request game, may I ask 💚 and 🖤 for Gashu Satou (YTTD)? After the mini ep I started loving him as a character, but I understand if it makes you uncomfortable and want to skip this. if that's the case I apologize

Hi there, Anon-friend! Thank you so much for the ask and for playing my Bye Bye Writer's Block Headcanon's Game! This is my second YTTD ask ever which is very, very exciting for me so thank you so much for that! 🥰

Thank you also for being so polite and respectful. I really appreciate it, and I hope that I can treat you with the same respect in this post. 💕 Overall, Gashu, to me, is an extremely complicated character, and, truthfully, I did have to give this all a little bit of thought when I saw your ask come in. Ultimately, I decided that I do feel comfortable taking your request; however, for personal reasons, I would not feel comfortable posting these headcanons without including some semblance of explanation as to why I felt comfortable taking the request in the first place (if that makes sense?). Therefore, I apologize in advance for these unsolicited ramblings about him. (A/N: I'm also sorry that I've never been asked about Gashu before and therefore don't have an existing post that explains my complicated feelings towards him that I could have just linked here).

Please feel free to disregard this entire section of the post and skip to the headcanons under the cut, if you'd like. 😅 (A/N: This section did end up being a bit lengthy and also a bit critical of Gashu as a character (though I really tried my best to be respectful, constructive, and sympathetic to him). That said, I really wouldn't blame anyone for skipping it as it really is only here for my own comfort level. Thank you again for being respectful of that).

(Warnings: MAJOR YTTD Spoilers especially for the Kai mini-episode. Implied/Referenced Child Abuse/Neglect. Please proceed with caution)

I completely understand what you mean about the Kai mini-episode dramatically shifting your perspective of Gashu's character. I definitely felt much more positively towards him after playing through that and was genuinely surprised to learn that he wasn't nearly as terrible of a parent as I had originally imagined. That backstory really added this element of genuine tragedy and deep sadness to the Satou family and really left me wondering how different the relationship between Gashu and his sons could have been without ASU-NARO's corrupting influence. It also raised a lot of questions about Gashu's overall motivations and his culpability for his poor choices and actions, especially those surrounding his family. Was he being manipulated or brainwashed? Was he just trying to survive? ASU-NARO is incredibly shady and cult-like (in my opinion) so it wouldn't surprise me if Gashu was either essentially brainwashed by the organization and/or coerced into these heinous things out of fear for his life; however, I don't feel like the canon really dove into that enough for me to make a clear judgment on Gashu and his culpability--at least not yet. (We'll see what happens in the final chapter or any other mini-sodes that come out).

Based on this information, my personal interpretation (at least at the time of writing) is that Gashu may not have intentionally hurt his children in the way I had originally expected prior to the Kai mini-episode, but his poor choices (even if they were made for understandable reasons) and his failure to protect his sons from ASU-NARO ultimately did end up hurting them. And what I felt I needed to say the most about Gashu before writing anything about him is that (at least in my opinion) it is a terrible tragedy when a parent chooses anything over the safety and well-being of their children--no matter what the reason is. Gashu very well may have loved his sons, but he let them down in a major and extremely important way when he chose ASU-NARO (and/or himself/his own personal well-being) over what was best for them, and his poor choice(s) as a parent had serious, life-altering (and life-ending) consequences. Even if it may be an understandable choice given the circumstances (perhaps even the "only choice" Gashu felt he had at the time), it is still a very tragic one to me, on account of the suffering it brought to both Kai and Sei. They were children. They vulnerable, and they deserved better. No amount of diminished culpability, love and affection Gashu may have had towards his sons, and/or understandable/sympathetic reasons he may have had for doing what he did can ever really excuse the fact that, ultimately, he failed to protect his children when they needed him most.

Obviously, Gashu is written with a lot of dimension and complexity. In many ways he feels very human in a fact that he is so flawed and often makes selfish choices rather than the harder, more selfless ones. Just as in real life, no one can make the perfect choice or the right choice all the time (especially in a situation as difficult as the one in which Gashu likely found himself); however, while it feels unfair to label a person as "all good" or "all bad" based on their choices (especially without taking all of the contributing factors into account), I think that it is fair to label certain choices themselves as objectively good or bad ones (regardless of the culpability or guilt of the person performing them). In my opinion, some of Gashu's choices were objectively bad, and (even if his culpability for them is diminished due to outside circumstances) there is a certain level of personal responsibility that Gashu has for his actions (I just can't make a judgement on how much or how little that is given the remaining unanswered questions in the canon). No matter his reasons, it was still his choice on at least some level, and even if he didn't intend to hurt his sons, his poor parenting choices had consequences which Kai and Sei, unfortunately, were left to suffer. My heart breaks for them and for this family's situation because the real tragedy here is that a father really let his children down (even if he had understandable reasons for doing so), and, in that way, a lot of the suffering which befell this family feels like it could have been avoided under different circumstances and/or if different choices were made. For that reason (and after taking the surrounding circumstances into account), I think I feel more sad and disappointed towards Gashu than angry. He could have and should have been better.

All of that said, with so many unanswered questions still lingering due to the unfinished story, I really feel like I can't make a clear judgement on Gashu's character whether positively or negatively at this time, and since there are those lingering doubts and since it seemed to me (at least based on the information we have at this time of writing) that he was more guilty of failing to protect his children rather than intentionally hurting them, I have decided to proceed with this ask. Thank you.

In summary, I have complicated feelings about Gashu and am probably not his biggest fan, but he's not on my (metaphorical) "no fly list" either, so I'd be happy to try my best to write these headcanons for you. (I apologize in advance if they are not nearly as good as if they written by someone who had much more positive feelings towards Gashu and/or had been writing for this fandom for a much longer period of time 😅 Also, I'll warn you upfront that I don't usually get asked to write for many villainous characters so these may be a bit rocky, but I really tried my best to come up with something nice for you, Anon-Friend. I hope you will like it 💕).

Additionally, I do want to thank you again for the request! It's so wonderful to have the opportunity to write a little bit about YTTD (especially since I have so much brainrot about it right now). I also really appreciate the opportunity for completionism since I've written HCs about Kai & Sei already so once I write some for Gashu I'll have headcanons for the whole Satou family (except for Ranger, I guess... Does he count? Sorry Ranger)

Headcanons are below the cut! Thank you again for your request! 🥰

Gashu Satou Headcanons

💚-- General

Gashu's favorite drink has always been black coffee. (It’s one of the main reasons he loves Tiramisu so much 😁). When Kai was very, very little (before Sei was adopted), he used to ask for cups of coffee because he wanted to be like his father, and he would often toddle quietly behind Gashu holding empty coffee mugs. Eventually when Gashu began actually giving Kai and Sei coffee, he could tell that they didn't care much for the taste (and, in fact, Sei would help Kai sneak sugar into their cups to make it a little more palatable to two young boys. Gashu pretended not to notice but secretly kept the sugar bowl well-stocked). The boys, however, continued to ask for coffee for the sole purpose of following in their father's footsteps, and though Gashu never discussed it with them, he began making twice as much coffee each morning so there would always be some leftover for his sons.

🖤-- Angst

(A/N: I've written two for this prompt so pick your poison, I suppose😅)

One of Gashu's biggest regrets in life is that he never got to take Kai and Sei on that holiday. Sometimes he lies awake at night wondering if things would have been different if he had.

OR

Gashu hasn't been able to eat Tiramisu since Kai left home. He has tried to eat a slice of it only once after losing Sei and found he could no longer stomach the taste of it since it drudged up such painful memories of his sons and his own feelings of guilt and inadequacy as a father.

[vivi-wtz]

The Kas Theory (Stranger things)

This post will contain sooo many spoilers for season 3 and 4 of stranger things, reading on ur on risk

I have some many thoughts on this one, I hope my thinking makes sense in the end.

Okay, I am pretty sure that everyone who watch "Stranger Things" and fell in love with Eddie Munson heard about this theory already. But in case u haven't heard it yet, I'll explain it to u real quick.

In the game dnd, there is this one character call Kas. They are some sort of the right hand of Vecna. But then Kas turns against Vecna and defends him (or helps to defend Vecna? Idk correct me if I'm wrong).

And many people who love Eddie Munson (me included) believe that Eddie becomes some Kas anecdote and will save the day in the following season of "Stranger things". But hear me out:

I saw this Tiktok like a few days ago and it got me thinking. What if Billy is the Kas anecdote? I mean think about it. To become someone's right hand kinda thing, that someone needs to trust u, which needs some time yk? I mean I wouldn't let anyone be my right hand if I do not genuinely trust them. And idk how many months will be between season 4 and season 5 but since the doors to the upside down are already open, I dont believe that it will be as much as between season 3 and 4 yk. So Eddie would have less time to "bound" with Vecna than Billy would have had. And I bet Vecna also knows that Eddie fought his bats (I mean the wounds seem kinda obvious to me). And we know Vecna isn't stupid so he probably connects the dots and knows Eddie isn't on his side.

BUT BILLY ON THE OTHER HAND?! Not only was he already some kind of doll for Vecna, so Vecna kinda still has the connection to Billy (just like Will yk what I'm on about?), but Billy also never seemed to connect with the "Anti-Vecna" group, which is probably also shown in the memory of Billy. So Vecna knows that for sure. And adding to this Billy would also have had enough time to "gain" some trust from Vecna (more like prove himself to Vecna). I mean how many months were between the timeline of season 3 and the timeline of season 4? 8 months? That sounds pretty accurate to me.

I mean hear me out. I love Eddie.. I mean I really fucking love him more than myself. And I really wish for him to somehow come back in season 5 but folks u need to agree with me. This Billy-being-Kas-theory of me makes fucking sense..

And yes I know Vecna could just whoop Eddie's ass and make him do whatever he wants him to do. But Vecna is not stupid, like I said before! And he already had that mind controlling connection with Billy which will probably makes it easier for Vecna to get into Billy's mind? And even when Billy and Eddie had both a rough upbringing, I think Billy had it a bit rougher. I mean at least Eddie had a father like figure, friends who like him for him and his trauma (the "loss" of his parents, probably bullying yk) didn't got any deeper (I mean, yes he got still bullied but he had friends, he wasn't alone, yk?). But Billy on the other side, his mother left him alone with his abusive dad, who also were his only father figure. He only had friends because of his looks and the popularity he got because of it. And because his dad is shit, his trauma got deeper with everytime, Billy's dad laid hand on him, yk? So the bad things in Billy's life, his loneliness and the fact that he went to all that basically alone probably clouded his mind and also makes it even easier for Vecna to get in his fucking mind.

And also yes, in the end of season 3 Billy sacrificed himself for El. But only because she found a good memory. And do u all remember how long it fucking took her to find it (which would basically prove my theory that I pointed out before)? In addition to Vecna knows how strong El is, so there is a high chance that El could just faked the memory to make Billy "submissive" to her plans. U get this?

But I mean folks, who am i kidding? We all know the duffer brothers are freaking stupid (I mean they killed the best character yk) and tbh I don't believe they thought about this, so I guess eddie it is (I mean I'm happy, but I would make so much more sense with billy... waisted potential in a good plot if u ask me)

Anyway, I really do hope, that y'all get what I meant.. I mean I know this is a lot of information and I really tried to give my rambling thoughts some structur. But on case it didn't work and u have some questions, just ask me.

Anyway, bye bye, kissies y'all

[saharaadesertt]

How They Text: Tears of Themis Men

included: i think you know who HAHAHAHAA

note: curretly thinking of other fandoms to write about because i barely play genshin and i don't want to take away from those that actually know about lore and can give proper headcanons 😭

Luke!

doesn't get nervous texting you about anything like some people cough cough artem cough

y'all are childhood friends after all so cute

asks you about your day constantly

comes over ASAP when you mention a HINT of having a bad day

sends you cute images of peanut randomly

emojis occasionally but doesn't feel the need to since he can communicate his personality through text pretty well without misunderstanding

lots of exclamation points though

genuinely wants to know how you are and what your life is like when he's away from you

at the end of the day wouls rather be with you in person

an absolute ball of sunshine

Artem!

ok. listen.

we know mans has no game.

he is also your boss.

that being said, he is used to texting you in a formal manner

full sentences, perfect punctuation, you know the drill

however, as he realizes his feelings for you, he starts to become more awkward, more interested in your life

thinks about asking you out to places but chickens out because he's a WIMP

but he does truly care about you and tries to make it known

he's just really bad at it

celeste asks him everyday ab his progress

and laughs at the answers every time

Marius!

what a sarcastic little shit.

a hot, sarcastic little shit.

marius texting is basically him being a sarcastic little shit behind a screen

lots of teasing, hella emojis, that kind of thing

sends you images of fancy food and jewelry funded by PAX group\

usually offers to get you samples of the food so you can enjoy it as well

get ready, this tiramisu is gonna be the best you've ever had!

loves to send you pictures of himself in the office as well

working hard!

ok sure, marius.

never fails to brighten your day despite you never knowing if he is joking or not when he is being sincere to you

spoiler: he's not

Vyn:

i don't imagine him texting much

but when he does, he's very sincere to you and your feelings

a simple person

shows you pictures of tea and the latest novel he's reading

types in full sentences but also isn't the most formal person

the type to hint where he will take you this weekend by asking questions

do you like horseback riding? you do? what about a picnic?

pays attention to everything you say just in case for the future

also the type to send you good morning and good night texts :))

may be a red flag but maybe he's a green flag on the phone

thanks for reading, let me know if you have any comments or suggestions for the future!

[lucky-clover-gazette]

captive prince book 1 highlights & annotations

chapter 5

indented text is from the book. some quotes have commentary, some do not. some comments are serious, and some are definitely not. most of them will only make sense to people who have read the series. and, like, there are spoilers. so please read the books first if you're interested!

also: part of the reason i'm doing such a close reading is to study cs pacat's style, especially in terms of how she does romance and erotica. there are "craft notes" that might seem weird, like i'm being redundant or restating something rather than analyzing, but those are more things that i want to remember/take away from the writing!

i'm going to tag these longer posts with "sam reads capri" in case anyone wants to read them all at once.

this is a google doc i wrote with overall content warnings for the captive prince series. it's not perfect, but i do think it's important to include.

Laurent moved off a few steps. Damen saw him lift a hand to the back of his own neck, as if to release tension. Saw him do nothing for a moment but stand and be quiet and breathe the cool air scented with night flowers. It occurred to Damen for the first time that Laurent might have his own reasons for wanting to escape the attention of the court.

i appreciate this hint of their future dynamic :)

A silence opened up around Laurent’s words. In it, their meaning changed. Herode began, ‘I—’ Then he looked at Damen, and his expression grew alarmed. ‘Is this safe? He’s broken his leash. Guard!’

context: laurent needs herode to think that damen deserved the flogging, so he took him somewhere private and broke his bindings, framing damen as disobedient. nice moment ruined >:(

‘If you’re concerned that my memory for wrongs against me is longer than ten months,’ said Laurent, ‘there’s no need for anxiety. I am sure you can persuade me you were genuinely mistaken.’

translation: “make it up to me, disloyal coward.” the way laurent deals with this person, who lacks loyalty and integrity, foreshadows how much he will struggle to hate damen, who has more loyalty and integrity than any sane person probably should

‘How thoughtful of you, Councillor,’ said Laurent. ‘He turned to Damen and said in a melting voice, ‘Your back must hurt terribly.’ ‘It’s fine,’ said Damen. ‘Kneel on the ground, then,’ Laurent said.

absolutely no strategy here, laurent just sucks. "oh you're comfortable for once? let's see what i can do about that." also the fact that laurent is trying to appear likable to herode but still cannot resist being a bitch to damen is sooo funny

His best feature was a pair of amazing blue eyes, unmatched by any Damen had ever seen, except for the ones he had recently been staring into.

damen has a talent for thirsting over laurent in the most backhanded manner possible

His skin was fair and his curling light brown hair was burnished with gold. He was exactly the type that Damen could have drawn down onto the sheets and spent a very pleasant couple of hours enjoying.

damen likes blondes mention #4. erasmus barely scrapes by, but the word “gold” tells us everything we need to know

‘Well?’ Laurent said. ‘Can you couple adequately, or do you just kill things?’

god he sucks. also, “adequate.”

Damen thought that given the choice between the lash and a conversation with Laurent, he might actually choose the lash.

‘He’s not very talkative,’ remarked Vannes. ‘It comes and goes,’ said Laurent.

laurent continues to shoulder the burden of being the funniest bitch in this entire court

Damen was sickened by the idea of some nobleman’s boy offering himself up to be hurt on the assumption that it would play to Laurent’s tastes. Then he thought of all he knew of Laurent, and only felt sicker, because of course the boy’s assumptions were probably correct.

context: i don’t think laurent is an equal-opportunity sadist, or even a sadist at all. he just really hates damen specifically, and mirrors the viciousness of his culture to survive

If there was anything explicit on view, it must be the absence of all desire to be where he was.

the garden scene. okay. 

first, context: a possible explanation for laurent volunteering damen could be a desire to see him experience a similar situation to his own abuse from his uncle, since damen is the reason laurent lost his protector. however, that doesn’t quite sound right to me, because wouldn’t seeing this whole tableau just re-traumatize laurent? then again, laurent’s life in the veretian court is pretty much endless re-traumatization, all day every day. so i suppose in his mind, he might as well get something out of his own shitty circumstances, and that something in this case is revenge. misery loves company, after all. 

also, sex to laurent is a matter of control and power, rather than love or pleasure. so to him, both this and the fighting ring might feel the same as any other kind of violence. he doesn’t care about the additional violation that sexual assault carries towards his enemies—and at the end of the day, laurent knows that he himself has probably been through worse. 

the exception to this is nicaise, or anyone else who laurent deems innocent and disempowered. those people, he will try to protect to the very best of his ability. but at this point in the series, laurent sees damen not only as a shitty person, but also a shitty person with power. he knows that damen is not a slave, but a prince. a prince who keeps slaves of his own. so in laurent-brain, i can see how this could be twisted into something justifiable. or just not worth justifying at all.

it still isn’t right, though. they could have done this and been just as horny about it with, like, dubious consent rather than none. i think i would feel more comfortable finding elements of this scene hot if that were the case, but i respect and appreciate that the point of this book is not simply to Be Hot. and to be fair—instant gratification, moral simplicity, and straightforward execution are not very compelling qualities for an erotic scene to possess. i’m just glad that the rest of the sex-adjacent scenes in this series between damen and laurent are explicitly consensual, because this scene would be harder to accept within the series’s ethical framework and the development of their love story if it happened multiple times.

i want to analyze the craft here, but i feel uncomfortable dissecting what i know to be a non-consensual scene in order to determine what makes it hot. but i also know, undeniably, that the events of this scene are hot, and that hotness was almost certainly written on purpose. 

for me, the hotness does not come from the lack of consent itself, but rather the action and dialogue happening on the page. i don’t think the lack of consent is necessarily meant to be hot here—it’s the absolute insanity of laurent’s approach to oral sex, and the power dynamic it creates, that makes the scene memorable. and those elements could easily be reproduced in a consensual scene and have the same effect. so i want to study those elements specifically, to see how they work as erotic writing, removed from the parts that don’t. 

tl;dr: the garden scene is unequivocally non-consensual. however, it is written in a way that eroticizes the circumstances. i can still study the writing where it is effective without finding the circumstances of the scene morally justifiable or hot, in fiction or real life. 

anyway. i'm trying to study the craft of scenes like this, so i'm going full analysis on this one. garden scene, summarized:  

setup: laurent is rumored to be frigid and does not partake in the sexual activities of veretian nobility. yet he goes along with this tableau, allowing damen to be used as a participant. i do not think that this is for laurent’s own sexual gratification, because i don’t think laurent is in touch with his own sexuality in general. sex means something different to laurent than it does to damen, and the other characters in the scene, and (i’d hope) to the reader as well.

beginning: ancel isn’t damen’s type. damen has no strong feelings about ancel as a person. he is not attracted to ancel’s frivolity or weak will. being serviced by ancel is not doing anything for damen. he feels smug about this. it gives him power over laurent, who has permitted this tableau in order to emphasize the power he has over damen.

then: laurent—who is damen’s type, his worst enemy, and the reason he’s in this situation in the first place—starts coaching ancel on how to give head. laurent is completely methodical and detached with his instructions, and is clearly focusing on psychologically tormenting damen, rather than getting off on the display. in other words, he is neither frivolous nor weak-willed. he’s exactly the opposite. 

meanwhile: damen, our pov character, is no longer immune to whatever the fuck is going on in this scene. he is into this and can’t hide it. he has lost the power he briefly had over laurent, and now possesses even less power than he started with. not only is he owned by laurent in the technical sense, but he is being owned by laurent in the horny sense too. 

and i believe that the intention is for the reader to understand how he's feeling—not to blame him for his interest, because this situation is clearly compelling, to damen and possibly the person reading. laurent’s ability to essentially mindfuck damen across the room, fully clothed, is honestly insane. cs pacat herself says that about laurent in a commentary video—he’s a mindfucker. it’s intentional and it’s the focal point of the scene. much later on in the series, i think damen even admits that he was paying attention to laurent the whole time. it’s hot. it just is. 

i’ll point out more specific things in the following passages, but that’s the gist of it. i'm cringing so hard posting this publicly, but if heterosexual women on booktok can post their whole-ass face and gps location while fangirling over colleen hoover sex scenes, i think i can share my messy gay mindfucking analysis on a website that hasn't been a part of the public consciousness since like 2017

Laurent was watching Damen’s face with the same cerebral attention that he might apply to a strategic problem. ‘He likes that. Do it harder,’ said Laurent.

craft note: laurent openly observes damen’s responses, notices exactly what works, tells ancel to do that specifically because “he likes it,” and that turns damen on even more

personal note: oh my god

Damen could feel his thighs tighten, then, minutely, spread, his breath quickening in his chest... He turned towards Laurent. It was a mistake to look at him. Even in the shadows of evening, Damen could see the relaxed arrangement of Laurent’s body, the marmoreal perfection of his features, and the detached unconcern with which he gazed at Damen, not bothering to so much as glance down at Ancel’s moving head.

craft note: damen loses his resolve, looks to laurent for mercy, and is just even more mindfucked by the fact that laurent is completely unaffected, not even interested at all

If you believed the Prince’s Guard, Laurent was the impregnable citadel, and took no lovers at all. Right now Laurent gave the impression of a mind somewhat engaged, and a body wholly aloof, untouched by ardour. The ribald fancy of the Prince’s Guard held a kernel of plausibility. On the other hand, the aloof, untouched Laurent was at this moment delivering a precise treatise on cocksucking.

god, this is SO fucking good. damen is basically admitting that he can’t believe laurent is entirely sexless, because he is managing to fuck him without even having sex at all.

craft note: that is the perfect moment to insert a crass word, after paragraphs of more clinical descriptions. i love that the only time we hear “cocksucking” in this scene is in reference to laurent not actually sucking cock, while it is (intentionally, i assume) not used in reference to the actual cocksucking that’s happening on the page. 

also, "precise treatise" cracks me up, as someone currently writing what could be considered a precise treatise on this scene.

The image of Ancel... was joined in his fragmenting thoughts by the sudden harsh desire to get his hands on Laurent’s body and exact revenge—both for his actions and for his airy absence.

damen’s desire to get laurent’s attention because he wants to fight him, but also because he wants laurent to see him come… diabolical writing. craft. whatever. this is an objective and academic analysis.

Damen was... pushed back down onto his knees. Laurent was seated opposite, legs crossed. Damen’s eyes fixed on him, and looked nowhere else; his breathing was still noticeable, and his pulse rapid, but anger produced all the same effects.

who’s ancel?

additional thoughts on erotic elements in the garden scene: i think what i like here, is that… yeah, it’s horny. it’s indulgent, easily the most blatant instance of kink we’ve seen so far. but it’s not really what i think frequent readers of this kink genre would expect, or even want to read—it is a subversion, with laurent completely disrupting the basic scenario that everyone else (but damen) in the scene wants to mindlessly enjoy. 

but that subversion, to me, just makes it hotter. there’s physical stuff happening, sure, but the real eroticism comes from the words, emotions, and power exchange between laurent and damen. the scene doesn’t give the reader the simplicity of “someone topped, someone bottomed, here are several pages of mechanical description.” the actual sex act is described almost clinically, just how laurent dictates. and it’s definitely not as simple as who’s topping and who’s bottoming—whatever the fuck happens here is way weirder and messier than that, and so much more compelling. 

basically, i think that this scene fails to be hot in all the ways a reader of this kink genre would expect it to be hot. the real hotness comes from the bizarre subversion we get instead, that we just have to kind of accept without any closure or explanation. it’s either an unsexy sex scene, or a sexy not-sex scene. maybe it’s both. either way, it’s insane.

how can i replicate this? 

set up a thing that follows expectations. don’t actually do the thing. do something significantly more insane than the expected thing. do not elaborate on the insane thing, leaving more questions than answers, and move on as if it wasn’t insane at all. this is a good method for not-sex scenes, too.

Laurent, for his part, was relaxed, one arm spread out over the back of the bench.

laurent lean #4

‘I’ll offer for you, if you like. When the time comes. I wouldn’t want you in my bed, but you’d have all the same privileges. You might prefer that. I’d offer.’

context: this is the best possible way laurent can protect nicaise within the confines of their culture. and “you might prefer that”—laurent wants nicaise to be able to foster his intelligence and talents (his "privileges") as a growing person, without having to be a sexual object.

‘He gives them all up,’ said Laurent, ‘even if you’re more enterprising than the others have been.’ ‘He likes me better than the others.’ A scornful laugh. ‘You’re jealous.’ And then it was Nicaise’s turn to react to something he saw in Laurent’s face, and he said, with a horror Damen didn’t understand, ‘You’re going to tell him you want me.’ ‘Oh,’ said Laurent. ‘No. Nicaise . . . no. That would wreck you. I wouldn’t do that.’ Then his voice became almost tired. ‘Maybe it’s better if you think that I would. You have quite a good mind for strategy, to have thought of that. Maybe you will hold him longer than the others.’ For a moment it seemed as if Laurent would say something else, but in the end he just stood up from the bench, and held his hand out to the boy. ‘Come on. Let’s go. You can watch me get told off by my uncle.’

context: nicaise knows that anything laurent wants, his uncle will not let him have. believing that laurent hates him and would offer for him out of spite, nicaise takes the offer is a threat. laurent, who isn’t threatening him at all, realizes that nicaise is right. laurent’s attempts at protection would only get nicaise hurt. the best he can do is banter with the kid and look after him from a distance. this house is a fucking nightmare.

[thewriterowl]

Hiya owl!

I wanted to reach out because I'm sure you've seen your name come up a few times over all this drama this past weekend. I see your name come up a lot but I'm not sure if anyone has ever come directly to you to ask your perspective. I thought that seemed fair.

The things that seem to come up the most are a racist/xenophobic/prejudiced depiction of Din as a character being portrayed by a Latino man, and a forced heterosexist depiction of Din and Luke's relationship.

I've read some of your fics. I am latinx myself, and I will admit I have been uncomfortable with the way that Din is always portrayed not only as "dominant" but as an aggressor, including in your fics. This has led me to stop reading your fics. Have you ever thought on this before? Have you considered trying to maybe talk to some latinx people outside of your fcircle to make sure that Din isn't being portrayed in a way that makes many latinx people uncomfortable?

And Luke does always seem to be kind of placed into a more submissive role, sort of Grogu's primary caregiver while Din leads and leaves. And he always submits to Din.

I genuinely am trying to ask this graciously, so I'm sorry if any tone comes across as otherwise.

Is this blanket throughout? No. And it's not like it's just your fics. But I thought it was only fair to you to get your perspective.

Hi! Thank you for reaching out to me; you’re actually the first person to reach out directly. I’ve been seeing everything going on, but without someone tagging me or messaging me directly I feel a little weird just shoving myself into the conversation. I do appreciate you reaching out.

I want to put a “spoiler” break here just to make it easier for people scrolling who may or may not want to read further.

I’ve loved dark content for years- not sure what it is about it, if it’s dealing with my own trauma or exploring concepts that I would in no way condone in real life but are still interesting to think about. Probably a pretty even mix, like most other people who read dark content. Like any other trope in fiction, it’s a tool for the brain. In this case, a tool for exploring things that we would have no control over in real life, but in fiction we can.

I understand that fiction does not exist in a vacuum. The stereotypes that western media has put on POC characters, and the impact that has on the real world, won’t just disappear in the blink of an eye. But at the same time I believe in separating the fictional character from the real world person playing them. I would hope most writers would do the same, although I can’t speak for everyone. What I mean by this is when I write fanfic, I’m not thinking of Pedro Pascal the real person. Yes, I might look at other things he’s been in for inspiration, but that’s the same as taking something that a friend said or did and using it as the base for a fictional scene. When I write fanfic, I’m strictly thinking of Din Djarin, fictional character, and putting him into various “what if” scenarios, with certain aspects of the character as he’s written exaggerated. So when I write dark stories, I’m thinking of the part of Din Djarin who cut a man in half when he didn’t need to, who left a man to be eaten alive, who shot at jawas, or who was at least on some level willing to hand Grogu over to an unknown fate for beskar. Those are things he’s done in canon, just as much as him going out of his way to help a village, taking the time to learn the language of the Tuskens in order to safely and respectfully pass through their land, and breaking his creed in order to save Grogu are also things he’s done in canon. Different au settings are going to heighten different aspects of his character. This is true of any and all fictional characters and all that I have written about in the past and probably will in the future. 

This is also based on discussion with other people. I have actually shared conversations in regards to this, to go over comfort, tagging, what it is about dark content, and its impact in regards to a character like Din. I have, honestly, only received support.

In the same vein, I have a similar outlook on the dynamic of a relationship. It genuinely is nothing more than “this is how I’m portraying these two characters, and this is the general relationship dynamic that I’m using for this particular story.”

The way that I write characters, no matter which fandom they’re for, is absolutely never intended to be malicious. I never want anyone to be hurt by my stories. It’s why I use as many tags as I do, so that anyone reading can look at the tags, look at the summary, and decide whether or not it’s something they feel comfortable engaging with. I am also always open to hearing what people think of the tagging system as well (one reason I always tag my asks as “owl inbox” so they can be filtered easier). 

I am, though, always sorry if my writing has ever been uncomfortable. I do not want that. I know I cannot make everyone happy or comfortable and I am trying to accept that, be happy with what I can provide for my own sanity, and be open for discussion. I hope you continue to do what makes you happy and feel better within this community because, all in all, it is a really positive one. People are so passionate and supportive and protective of each other--it can be easy to see it overwhelming and triggering to anxieties (as I know a massive amount to us has) but I honestly see more good in it than anything negative. I also love seeing the wave of soft and fluffy content coming out and the content of dark/sith/top Luke (even if it’s not for me) because I see that as more for more people.

Honestly, I could go on a bit about everything--my first response was nearly 3k words as I panic and just want to explain and reach out and try to avoid hurting anyone if possible. I still don’t know, and I worry, that my thoughts and everything will be understood. But with help got it cut down in hopes that it helps answer the questions you provided, anon. I don’t know if it helped or cleared anything but I hope it did some.