#these characters have both shown to be on some kinda queer spectrum

[avatar-aaang]

the cross i must bare is being in fandoms where the girl characters are shoved aside for gay ships to be the most popular thing in the tags

[oceanwithouthermoon]

i always considered saiki aro, but you make me really rethink with kubosai. .

THATS SO LOVELY, i know you didnt ask but.. im going to take this opportunity to talk a little about my stance on kubosai and saiki's sexuality.. i mean i have talked about it multiple times but still, lots of people dont see what i see in these things sooo im gonna keep talking about it lol..

(under the cut cuz i made this WAYYY longer than i meant to, sorryyyy..)

i still see saiki as aroace personally !! just not romance repulsed aroace, rather just on the aroace spectrum.. i think hes the type of person to use 'queer' and 'aroace' as umbrella terms for himself instead of caring about specific labels, but if i had to, i would say he fits best with demi based on my interpretation.. (i usually see him as with no preference, but based on the text its easy to see him as having a preference for men too..)

i do get why people would see him as romance repulsed and its a lovely hc, but i see saiki as mlm, at least in the way i interpreted it.. i mean, he almost straight up says he has a crush on satou in the manga.. its great if people interpret it as a 'squish,' but i personally dont see that,, he kinda blatantly threw them in a romance chart together, blushes every time he sees him, etc. HOWEVER aroace people who relate in some way and project their experiences onto saiki will ALWAYS be valid, so i dont care !! i literally do that lmfao im an aroace lesbian,,

anyway, saiki has a lot of silly tsundere moments that lots of people who dont really look at the show past surface level (and usually dont read the manga) see as him literally hating his friends, family, romance, etc when its very much shown how hes being a tsundere and he LOVES his friends, family, AND romance.. (canonically loves romance not as in he definitely experiences romantic attraction, but as in he just is weirdly into love stories and such but wont admit it lmao, i talk about that chapter where he gets obsessed with those strangers love story he saw with psychometry but its just so good lol..) so i think that misinterpretation is where a lot of the discourse in this fandom comes from, like people who think he GENUINELY hates teruhashi ? they r literally best friends he cares about her so much..

kubosai is a ship i started loving, not really from seeing their canon interactions, but from analyzing the characters in the manga and seeing who i think would actually fit together and have a good dynamic..

im very weak for characters who are ashamed of their dark past, afraid of their own strength and that they might hurt the people they love, scared to tell their loved ones their secrets, etc.. and kuboyasu and saiki fit the bill perfectly, so i looked at them and immediately thought BOOM what if they were in love..

their dynamic is fun, even though we didnt get a lot of canon interactions.. theyre so similar yet SO different at the same time..

they both have pretty tragic pasts and family lives, both VERY protective of their friends and family and would do anything for them, both have bad coping mechanisms (mostly refusing to acknowledge that anything is really wrong at all), etc.. and yet, theyre almost opposites in the way they actually carry themselves..

saiki appears apathetic at all times in front of others even though his internal monologue or how he expresses himself when hes alone can be really emotional.. kuboyasu is pretty happy all the time even though he has pretty thinly veiled anger about half the time..

kuboyasu is just a human boy who was taught to take up as much space as possible for his survival, defend himself with his fists, honesty and loyalty and trust are essential, etc, while saiki is an almost-god whose upbringing taught him to try his best to take up NO space at all for his survival, dont get involved unless its from afar, dont get close with anyone, dont trust anyone, etc..

saiki prefers to protect his people from in the shadows, going as far as to literally stalk them to make sure theyre okay without their knowledge, while kuboyasu is unafraid to show how much he cares and prefers to literally come out swinging to protect his people.. put them together and you get two silly guys who will literally protect the other with their life despite knowing damn well that theyre both fully capable of protecting themselves..

kuboyasu is also like.. one of the only people in the cast other than saiki who can be like.. a voice of reason sometimes.. he would be so good for saiki and would make damn sure he knows when hes being irrational or dramatic (because cmon, its saiki.. hes such a drama queen all the damn time..) and i just think he needs that in his life..

yasu would reign saiki in when it comes to his everyday dramatics, and in turn saiki would reign yasu in when it comes to his over the top romance standards (and probably his anger issues and overreactions too..) and yet at the same time they would take comfort in each others silliness.. saiki may be like "we cant just drop out and get married, thats not how it works" but isnt it so refreshing for him to have someone that cares about him so unconditionally ?? unlike his own family ?? itd scare him at first, but hed make yasu tone it down to a healthier extent and itd become soo comfortable..

[arcade-writing]

Genuinely this PISSES me off so hard when I see this happen in fandoms. It's like you're only an acceptable aromantic/asexual (as they do this with both labels separately too) if you can still follow the convenient norms. Like yeah! Some aroaces CAN be like that but here's the thing, most depictions of aroaces are NOT like that. They are shown to be disgusted or uncomfortable by these things to show that they are infact aroace. We typically do not have characters, or atleast I hasn't seen any, that in the show/movie/book go into the nuances and spectrum of these things.

It's usually "I'm repulsed or uncomfortable by sex/love/both" and the audience will go "WELL THERE ARE AROACES WHO DO ENJOY-" SHUT UP. this character doesn't apply to that CLEARLY. there has been no signs that this character is like that and so you are just being disrespectful to their identity. You just can't handle not having your little ship and also you clearly don't have any real respect for this kind of identity if you can't accept it when it doesn't follow your societal rules.

As an aroace who has had my identity questioned a few times due to my lack of repulsion to these things, it just pisses me off so much. Like, whilst I am a "no love, no sex" aroace - I will do things like queer platonic relationships. Kissing, hand holding, intimacy, ect. Because I like doing those things. I enjoy physical affection and feeling close to another person who I see as a friend or I can enjoy having no strings attached and have a mutual agreement with someone. Because either way as long as both parties are understanding and consenting and can handle it, why can't people explore these things? To still get things we want without having to force ourselves into relationships we'll never be into it.

Love to all my fellow aromatics and asexuals who are repulsed or just simply indifferent. Love to the ones that'll try it out. Love to the ones who do date and have sex. Love to all of y'all. 🫶

Fandoms are a mess and tbh I kinda just stop being apart of them. My fandom spaces is my brain and my friends. And it's because of shit like this and also the other toxicity that swarms around. People have made having interests be like fast fashion and a kill joy.

the way fandoms are desperate to make all aroace characters romance and sex positive but then dont do anything remotely similar to any other identity is astounding. hmm i wonder why

PLEASE dont derail this about shipping characters of other identities please let this one post be about an aroace struggle

[kajaono]

Canon poly relationships

Todays media gets more diverse every day but we still have a huge lack of poly relationships. So i decided to collect all the poly relationships I am aware of and that are confirmed CANON in this post. Sadly they are often limited to three people and not really diverse, mostly containing white, abled bodied, cis people.

Be aware this posts contains slight SPOILERS. I will mention if they are still together and alive. Feel free to add further confirmed poly relationships. I will update that post from time to time.

Updated: 11.08.2024

Polo/Cayetana/Valerio - ELITE

This triad first appears in season 3. Polo and Valerio are  in the show confirmed as bisexual. Polo is already shown in an another poly relationship in season 1 but it is not necessarily healthy and not 100% build on consent so I am not featuring them here. The triad below is really happy, healthy and cute. Sadly they split up by the end of season 3 and one of them dies.

Eliot/Parker/Hardison - Leverage

They are confirmed canon poly outside the show by the writer. The ending of the first arc can be easily read as a wedding vow. The woman , Parker, gets kissing scenes with both dudes. And they are all really affectionated toward eachother with a lot of hugs. There is a second arc: „Leverage Redemption“. I haven’t watched it yet, so I can not say how they treat the OT3 there but as far as I am aware they are still together, happy and alive. And Parker is confirmed to be on the spectrum.

Leverage Redemption:

I only have watched season 1 so far. In Leverage Redemption the team comes back together to steal stuff. The OT3 still works perfectly together, Sadly the actor of Hardison was so busy with other projects that he was only able to stare in the first two epsiodes and in the finale. And they gave Eliot a girlfriend, so the Ot3 is sadly split up a tiny bit... which is a shame. But in the end they are together again, and as far as i Know Hardison is more in season 2, has a lot of emotional scenes with Eliot, who appearnetly is hevaily bi-coded in season 2?!

Wolfgang/Kala/Rajan - Sense8

The show was originally planned for five seasons. If you know the poly relationship is coming you see bits of the build up throughout the first two seasons but because the show was cancelled after the second season the relationship was kinda rushed in the two hours finale. Anyway, it is still wholesome to watch. The triad contains two people of color. They are happy, alive and together.

Lito/Hernando/Dani - Sense8

Nobody knows to be honest. Lito is confirmed to be gay (so shouldn’t actually be romantically or sexual attracted to Dani), Hernando is probably bisexual. But sexuality is really fluid in this show. Anyways, they are confirmed to be a family with multiple sex scenes, kisses and dances. They are also happy, alive and together

Lantis/Hikaru/Eagle - Magic Knight Rayearth

As far as I am aware they are only confirmed and explicit canon the manga. And the manga is from the 90s so the poly relationship has some flaws but they are happy, together and alive in the end. Hikaru confesses in the manga she wants to marry both Eagle and Lantis.

Miranda/Thomas/Flint - Black sails

Again a case of: nobody knows. Miranda and Thomas are married. They are having, as confirmed in the show, an open relationship. And Miranda loves Thomas. And Thomas and Flint are in love, while Flint also sleeps with Miranda. Sadly they are only in season 2. One of them dies, but the other two come back together in the end and are really happy and really in love.

Jack/Izzy/Emma - You me her 

I have watched the first three seasons. This show is about the married couple - Jack and Emma - who want to spice up their marriage life again and both hook up, seperatly, with the call girl Izzy. Of course they all fall in love with eachother. It is the straightest queer show I have ever watched, with A LOT of drama. But the characters call themselved bi and poly which is really refreshing to watch. And this show has one of the healthiest potray of sex I have ever seen on TV. In the end they are alive, happy and together. The show is closed in five seasons.

Neo/Miw/Shin - 3 will be free

This is a Thai crime drama, closed in one season. You can find it on YouTube for free with englisch subtitles. The story focuses on Shin, the son of a mafia boss, Neo, a male prostitute and Miw, the manager of a Go Go bar. After they commit a murder in an act of self defense, they are forced to run away together and fight back against the mafia trying to hunt them down. The show is super well written. It has no Hollywood clichés and thats really refreshing to watch. It has a trans mtf main character, bisexual coming outs, gay coming out, sex work is work, don’t touch women, metoo and many more important messages. I can highly recommend to watch it. Beware many people die in this show. Not the trans character and also not the poly main characters. In the end they are alive, happy and together

Ben/Ryn/Maddie - Siren

Its a fanatsy show about mermaids, which aired on Freeform. It is closed in three seasons and can be watched on Disney+. After a few fishermen accidently catch a mermaid, her sister, Ryn, transforms into a human and comes into town to find her. Maddie and Ben, an already established couple, find her, discover her secret and hide her. Both Ben and Maddie show romantic and sexual attraction towards Ryn in season 1, but if this was already supposed to set up the polycule or just to show how alluring Ryn is, considering she is a siren... is unclear. The romantic relationship is established in season 2. The triad has sex, shared kiss and even has love confessions. Sadly the triad breaks up in season 3 and one of them dies (as far as I know) and then the show got cancelled. So better stop after season 2.

Marc x Layla x Steven - Moon Knight

Its complicated. Technically this ship isn’t poly, because it only consists of two people. And if you ask Marvel they are definitely not poly... but lets face it... they are kinda poly. So for those of you who have never watched the show: Marc and Steven are two personalities sharing the same body. Are they two parts of the same personality? Well... here it is where it gets compliacted. Because yes... they are... at the beginning. But eventually they are two different personalities sharing the same body, but independent from each other. And they are both in love with the same woman, Layla. Marc is even married to her. Steven, not so much. he just fall in love with her because he just met her. And Layla loves them both. Seperate from each other. Are they poly? You decide. In the end they are happy and alive. Together? We dont know.

Honorable mentions

Here I am mentioning shows I have not watched (yet) but that contain poly relationships in the main cast. So there can be some errors, feel free to correct me

Gossip girl - the reboot

I am really not aware how well gossip girl is writing poly relationships (no offense) but by the end of season 1 they are together and happy.

Edit: at the end of season 2 they are not together anymore because they split up for drama reasons and then the show got cancelled. The writers nevertheless confirmed they were always ment to be endgame and will always end up together.

Professor marston and the wonder women

The movie is about the writer who invinted Wonder Woman. He was in a poly relatinship with two women back then which is also shown in the movie. One of them dies in the end (which you can not change, considering it is based on a real life person) but they are getting their happy end nevertheless.

Castlevania

Appearntly it is heavily implied that they are loving eachother, two of them are also in a relationship but it is never a 100% confirmed in the show itself. Not long ago Netflix made the tweet below so they are still kinda confirmed to be poly? I have no knowledge what the writers are saying about the topic.

 The Expanse

I stopped watching the Expanse after episode 1 so I can not really say anything about the poly-ship in this show, but it is definitly worth mentioning that here we have a poly ship that contains of more then three people. They are called PolyBelterFam and are all married together. If i am not wrong they are also a minor ship?

The bastard son & the devil himself

This show is on Netflix. As far I know the two boys are a couple and most of the fandom focuses on that. But there are multiple polyamorous scenes between the three characters: sharing one bed, hugging, cuddeling, hand holding. While the poly relationship is not a 100% explicit confirmed in the show itself, all of the actors confirmed it in different interviews. They are alive at the end and together

Las Chicas del Cable

The spanish show is about four female telephone operators in the 1920s. There is a lot of drama, social as well as romantic. According to @ dylan-is-deryn (thank you for your help) Carlota is dating Miguel, but then meets Sara and they're very attracted to each other, and Sara and Miguel also have chemistry. It seems that Carlota will cheat on Miguel, or that Sara and Miguel will get together, but instead they all get together.

They are not together anymore and the show has a really bad ending for all main chatracters, so beware

Riverdale

I honestly have no idea how we ended here, and considering it only happened in the finale i wouldn’t argue it is good poly representation but its endgame. Like always, watch Riverdale on your own risk.

Trigonometry

Its a british TV show by the BBC and is realstic. Its about a happy married couple who meet a third person and start a poly relationship. As far as I am aware it has a happy end but has some dark topic, such as alcolism and cancer.

Deep Night (Ken x Seiji x Japan)

Thank you @made-in-rivendell​ for brining this show to my attention. Like “3 will be free” this is a Thai BL series. It is closed in one season, with 8 episodes. The story takes place in a host club. I have not watched the show (yet) but accoring to made-in-rivendell the polycule is canon, happy and everyone is alive.

Minor Poly Ships and poly characters

Newly added here - to make the post even longer - I decided to add poly ships that are formed by side characters but still there for a long period of time.

The Wheel of time

Alanna has formed a poly relationship with her two male warders. It is explicit shown that the two male warders - Maksim and Ihovn - are also in love with eachother and we see them cuddeling together before they get up with Alanna to have sex with eachother... which is not shown btw. The relationship of the three is openly discussed by the other characters. It is also mentioned that Alanna would be more then happy to greet even more people in her polycule. While we see them together on screen multiple times over the course of multiple episodes, we sadly do not have good shot or promo pic of all of them together, so I am taking the BTS pic of the actors. Remeber: They are backgrund characters. By the end of season 1 they are alive and still together.

Ted Lasso

The character Dano Rojas is confirmed poly in the finale. But it is already implied a few seasons earlier. Him being poly is not part of the plot. I think apart from two scenes we never see him with his girlfriends.

Avenue 5

This sci-fi show has Hugh Laurie in the main role. His character is poly. I think apart from this pic you never see his spouses.

Our Flag Means Death

The character of Spanish Jackie is poly in the pirate comedy Our Flag Means Death. She appearntly has 20 husbands. So far we saw one of them. But the sequel is confirmed so I will provide further informations soon

Our flag means death (2)

OFMD also features a poly triad in season 2. Containing the characters Jim (who is played by Vico, an actor who is poly irl as well), Archie and Olu. The relationship is not a 100% explicit poly but heavily implied. At the end Olu falls for another woman. It is not clear if she will join the triad but it is suggested by the other three.

Books with poly couples

On multiple requests we now have a new categorie. Poly couples in popular, in english avaiable, book stories

Mark/Cristina/Kieran - The Dark Artifices

This is a triology written by Cassandra Clare, who also wrote the Mortal Instruments aka Shadowhunters. The book is set in the shadow-world and mostly revolves around Emma Carstairs and her best-friend and parabatai, Julian Blackthorn. The story focuses mostly on the forbidden love between two Parabatais and the general political struggles in the shadow-world. You need some knowledge about the previous books to understand this one. Emmas friend Cristina falls in love with the faerie Kieran and the half-Faerie Mark. Its more of a subplot but nevertheless present from book 1 onwards. They are all alive and together in the end

art by @cassandrajean​

Zetian/Yizhi/Shimin, Iron Widow

This book was written by Xiran Jay Zhao, you can also find them here in tumblr. The book is kind of a poly Pacfic Rim fan fiction. But believe me: nothing can prepare you for this book. It is about Wu Zetian who lives in a world where the army fights with big mechas, called Chrysalis. Zetian joins the military to take revenge for her older sister. Slowly she discovers that the whole operating system of the Chrysalis was only build to oppress and control women and people who are “different”. The story starts as the typical love triangle but Zetian quickly decides that she can do better then just one boyfriend. So she takes two. All three are bisexual and it is multiple times implied that Zetian is genderqueer. The book is dark. Zetian isn’t a hero, she is kinda a villain but you can totally understand all her actions, even though you might not agree with them. Go queen, burn the world. The book ends with a cliffhanger. Xiran Jay Zhao is alredy working on a sequel. Most likely it will be published mid of 2024.

In the end the are not happy, not together but alive.

[voidbot]

some characters i headcanon as aro and/or ace

kusuo saiki (the disastrous life of saiki k)

this will come as no surprise considering my pfp, but whatever. he’s never really shown any signs of romantic attraction in the show, and has stated a few times that he doesn’t understand romance. not only that but i relate to him A Lot for other reasons so why not just project this onto him as well lmao. also teruhashi is aroace too. or a lesbian. or both.

abed nadir (community)

abed is greyromantic and in a qpr with troy do not even try to change my mind. i would say he’s 100% aromantic but he did have a girlfriend or two so it seems less likely. but he’s definitely on the aro spectrum and i like to think he’s ace, too. also just another example of me projecting :’)

katniss everdeen (the hunger games)

do not come at me with ‘but she kissed people and liked it!’ ‘she married peeta and had a kid with him!’ i do not care. she loved peeta but it was not romantic, it was that special type of love that i like to think only arospec people can feel :) they were in a qpr and got platonically (kinda) married and had a child because they’re a family! yeah i’m projecting. also arospec people can enjoy kissing it’s not a hard concept to comprehend. katniss everdeen is arospec (and probably ace too but i kinda like to headcanon her as aro allo) and started a family with her soulmate who she loves deeply. idk about you but that makes perfect sense to me.

elsa (frozen)

ngl this is partially out of spite bc disney tried to pull the whole ‘she’s not a lesbian, she’s just a strong, independent woman!’ well jokes on you bitch she’s queer now. and obviously there’s nothing wrong with being a strong independent woman, but to use that simply because they wanted to make sure nobody could say she was gay is…. icky. she’s definitely arospec though. destroying amatonormativity one dramatic ballad at a time.

otis (sex education)

this character is aroace in some way shape or form i don’t care what anyone says, i don’t care what the writers say, he had the perfect opportunity to be incredible aspec representation and so that’s what i’m making him. there’s still at least one more season of the show so i’m just holding on with every fibre of my being to that sweet sweet main character aspec rep that we all deserve.

oh and at least a few characters from the good place are aro and/or ace in some way.

[malefiquinn]

My Cyberpunk 2077 review

I finished the game last night and I have Feelings™ about it, so here goes my review. While the heavy spoilers (ending related) will be hidden under Keep Reading, I might mention some minor ones here and there, so read at your own risk.

Let’s get the Big Thing out of the way first: yes, the game is buggy af. The good news is most of them are visual bugs, so while annoying, they don’t really matter gameplay wise. But I did have to reload an earlier save file two times to get rid of gamebreaking bugs, both messing with main story quests. It was frustrating. And nevermind the times my car got destroyed because the game suddenly realized there were two cars occupying the same space. However I did manage to finish the game and make the choices I wanted, so it wasn’t that bad either.

My biggest complain is the blantant transphobia shown in the character creator. I know Claire exists and she’s awesome and I love her, but the cc options are just not inclusive enough. What’s the point of having them if you can’t use them anyway? Linking V’s pronouns to voice types makes absolutely no sense. And not being able to remove breasts from the female body type (or put them in the male body type) rubs me the wrong way as well, though I understand that it would involve a lot more animation work. Lastly, having body type-dependant hair styles is just plain inexcusable when the devs took the time to design genitals that are just not shown past the character creator (unless V walks around naked, I suppose). So, why bother having all these ✨choices✨ when the player can’t get a good, accurate customization anyway?

And it gets worse if we talk about romances. Real people have specific tastes and that’s completely understandable, but real life has a lot more than 4 choices in total. More importantly, bisexual people are a thing? There should have been at least one female and one male bisexual romance options in game. So to make it al worse, the constraint in gay romance options is... awful. Why have 3 types of gender-related customization if you can’t use them if you want to romance someone? I’m a cishet female who plays as a cishet female first if given the option, but I’m still bothered for the queer community (which I’m still part of btw, since I’m in the ace spectrum). It feels like being trans is more of a fetish in Night City than a real trait.

Speaking of romances, I played River’s and I found it... bit of a lackluster. I don’t find him physically attractive (shaved head and no beard are not my thing) but his voice was pretty nice and I liked his personality despite being a cop. But the main downside was the way the game treats his romance. I knew I wasn’t going to get a BioWare-style romance, but V’s relationship with River was like a sidenote and once he’s romanced, there’s just no way to interact with him again. That perhaps is the same for the other romances but there’s no replayability, in a sense that there’s no way to talk to/kiss him again or replay the sex scene, for instance. It bothered me that the game forces V to say that “she’s too busy” and apologize to her boyfriend all the time, because *I* would’ve made time to visit if there was ingame acknowledgement of it. The worst bit is that I feel like River’s romance is the least polished of them all, because Panam and Judy play important roles in main quests and Kerry is pivotal to Johnny’s sidequests, while River is... just there (also more further on, regarding the ending). So the fact that he’s like the forgotten child in the romance section while being the only cishet female option is heartbreaking.

The silverlining is that, at least, the mistreated community was het females instead of gay females. Although, this is just another example of game devs thinking about male players first.

Now the good part: what I liked

The cars. I’m not a car enthusiast, I don’t enjoy driving in real life and I’m a terrible driver in games, but I fucking loved the cars in CP2077. The Caliburn was like my game baby, I had so much fun driving around and hearing the different engines for each car, and the differences in driving... it was awesome. I got and bought *all* the available cars for the sake of it, just because I liked them so much.

The story. I love games that get me invested and this one was definitely one of those. Falling for Jackie when I knew he was not gonna be around for long was an expected, but still perfectly excecuted punch to the gut. And Johnny’s guidance and company was something I was hyped about, but still played out even better than I though it would. So to my next point, Keanu Reeves. I was thrilled to play a game with Keanu in it and it blew my mind. Those reviews that pinpoint Keanu’s acting as the weak link in the game are fucking wrong, how else you expect to see (and hear) an angry, resentful man permanently stuck in time? Even worse, when he knows the people he hated the most managed to kill him? I wasn’t happy when I learned Johnny was not a romance option but after meeting him, I’m glad that’s the case. He’s the perfect antihero-turned-best-friend for V, if you can stand him.

Stealth and hacking. Most of the time I choose the option to play stealthy and this time it wasn’t just that, it was the option to use futuristic technology at the same time. I LOVED it. Quickhacking enemies instead of shooting them is so much fun. Enemy detection is a bit wonky at times but still, I enjoyed it much better than if it had been a plain shooter. And those guns with homing shots are so cool that I wanted to play them over sniper rifles, my usual go tos.

The characters. I got invested in V’s relationships, even if the romantic aspect wasn’t as great as it could’ve been. Friendship with Kerry and Panam, clousure for Judy and Rogue, mourning Jackie, being part of River’s family, so many the fixers in existance... and Johnny, my bff Johnny. Even Alt, with her somewhat little role, was great. I was promised a compelling story and deep characters, and I did get both.

The soundtrack. Overall it’s pretty great, but my favorite songs are those related to Samurai. And it’s not even because of my love for Johnny, I really do enjoy them for their musical content. Unironically my all time favorite is Johnny’s as well, Never Fade Away. I won’t exit a car or open the menu when that song is playing.

The easter eggs. From GlaDOS and Silence of the Lambs in the Delamain quests to the Matix-esque pills of the main storyline, to Hideo Kojima and the BB in a lab, “Harvest like a Reaper” and the many “You’re breathtaking!” references (Kerry’s take was my favorite), the game presents A LOT of pop culture nods and I’m here for it. Having real life content creators around for several levels of cameos was a nice touch as well.

So without mentioning the heavy spoilers (aka ending), in my opinion, Cyberpunk 2077 deserves a 9/10. Bugs are fixable and the story and characters carry the game on it’s own because they’re just too good. The main story is kinda short and I believe Johnny’s sidequests should be part of the main story, but I get why they are not mandatory if you want to roleplay a full on dislike towards the rockerboy. But still, there are some things related to gender and romance that are complete misfires. I hope that some of those will be fixed via patches (the character creator bits), but the lack of more romance options or at least bisexual NPCs obviously won’t be fixed and that’s what keeps CP2077 away from a perfect score in my book.

Now, regarding the endings:

The one thing that truly bothered me was that the Rogue one had no real goodbyes for V. She goes into a suicide mission in space and everyone’s post-credit messages complain she just disappeared without a trace? I get she’s dying and all, but, for fuck’s sake leave a message explaining it if you cared so much about them. The game *makes* you care about the characters but doesn’t give you an option to honor that love at the end.

Also, again, romances. I played both Rogue and Panam’s endings so I know there’s no way to have a happy ending with River, which is bittersweet and probably for the best that it happens with him since his romance seems to be the least engaging, but again that makes me feel cheated. Not that they parted ways in the Nomad ending (that was sad, but sad endings are not bad), but that there is no happy-ish ending romance wise for a cishet female. People who romanced Panam obviously stay together with her and those who romanced Judy do too from what I’ve read (and no idea about Kerry’s romance), but not getting that option if you choose to be female and go for a het romance takes away from the game. Sadly. Also my last interaction with River in Rogue’s ending was fucking terrible, I liked how poetic that ending was for Rogue and Johnny until I got to the rest of my V’s life.

(But I still headcanon that River eventually joined V with the Aldecaldos in my canon ending, aka the Nomads’, despite what he said. Since his post-credit message implies he might visit her and stuff.)

As for the rest of the ending... CP2077 clearly states that life isn’t happy and that there’re no happy endings for people who live in NC, so I like that no ending is completely happy since you are bound to die anyway, but. But. It’s somewhat disheartening that the overall arc can be resumed to “all that you did served for nothing, you’re still dying so your efforts were absolutely useless.” I really don’t see how to improve it without defaulting to a happy, sunshine-esque ending that fixes everything, so I don’t know. It still wasn’t exactly what I wanted to hear at the end, so... I liked it but didn’t, at the same time. Ha.

And lastly, I hoped for endgame playability and there is none, you have to revert to an earlier save to keep playing. I get why it wasn’t done, to give a definitive end to V’s story in NC, but anyway. What I really liked about this choice was that no matter the ending, V becomes no one again. They will be forgotten by most people after a while either because they leave with the nomads or because they ‘disappear’, aka die in a blaze of glory in that casino in space. Or well, sell their soul to Arasaka or commit suicide on the rooftop.

So overall, I loved this game and critics are somewhat too harsh. But I agree there are some terrible design choices and a long way of bugfixing to get to the specific masterpiece that we were hoping for.

[aromantic-official]

Hi:) i kinda have a favor to ask. I am currently writing a book& one of the characters is aromantic. I myself do not identify on the spectrum& only have one friend who does. I already consulted her but I want to hear about other peoples experiences too in order to get a better grasp of things. I love the character& I want him to be authentic& not some half-assed representation. I was hoping that maybe you could direct me to some resources? Or if you or any of your followers feel comfortable ++

++telling me about your/their own experience that would also be greatly appreciated!! I would love to hear about the process of realizing and/or accepting it, about any family related issues and also about how it possibly affects someones daily life (e.g. how does it feel if someone keeps asking why u still aint got a partner etc.) I know that all experiences are individual but i would love to hear about some. If this is rude in any way I m very sorry. Also dont feel obligated to publish this :)

That’s a very good attitude to take about writing an aro character, and I’m very glad you have an arospec person to consult as well, since it should help a lot. Here’s an ask we answered about a non-aro person writing an aro character, with many resources and basic tips. Here’s another, this one covering important tropes and pitfalls to avoid.

The question isn’t rude, but asking someone about how it feels to be out or how being aro affects their daily life can be very personal, so be careful and tactful if you choose to do so. Realizing you’re aro is going to be different for everyone, just like any other LGBTQIA+ identity. You may not be able to apply some of these scenarios to the world your character is in (ex. not having the internet in a fantasy book, or no aspec communities exist in a dystopian realm).

Some of the most common experiences I’ve seen for realizing you’re aromantic go along these lines:

“I found the term aromantic through asexual communities, both near the same time, and it clicked. The relief I felt was immense and I’m happy to have words to describe myself.” Most often for aroaces.

“I was exposed to the term aromantic years before I realized it fit me. I was in deep denial, both from other factors (could be sexual attraction, past relationships, trauma, wanting to be in a relationship, etc.) and amatonormativity.” Often for aro allosexuals and/or people who have tried to force themselves to have romantic feelings.

“It was very hard me for me to find a place for myself. The labels were small, hidden, and mocked/belittled/invalidated, and the journey to find something that fit me was long, but I’m glad I made it.” For people on the aromantic spectrum.

“I always knew I was different. I explored queer communities for a long time, switching between many different labels, but never feeling anything quite fit, before finding the term aromantic.”

“I never knew I was different. By finding the aromantic community, I became aware of the small things about myself I had pushed aside or ignored, because I didn’t believe it was possible to be the way I am.”

“I feel romantic attraction under certain conditions/rarely/in a certain way, so I didn’t believe it was possible for me to be aro, and felt alienated from the community. Later, I found labels that described my experience, and a group of people that understood what I went through, and I embraced my identity.” For arospecs.

“I knew of the term aromantic for a long time before I realized it was me. I questioned it, but due to incorrect/negative mindsets and amatonormativity, identified as many queer and arospec labels once I realized I wasn’t straight. Eventually, I pushed my denial aside, and embraced by aromantic identity.”

“I can’t be aromantic! I had a crush in 2nd grade!/There’s a person I think is cute!/I have sex!/I have strong feelings towards people! (usually squishes)/I want to date!/whatever bullshit excuse my mind threw at me during questioning. Eventually, I pushed through it, realized many of these were common experiences with names/labels in the aromantic community, and concluded I was aro.”

Family-related issues can be a bit more complicated. Just like any other LGBTQIA+ identity, it’s a personal choice to come out or not, with all kinds of factors contributing to the decision. I’ve seen many who have successfully done it, those who have been rejected, and those who will never come out. Fighting heteronormative and amatonormative stereotypes, ideals, and issues is fully individual and based on the family and the aro. Not to mention homophobia, transphobia, aphobia, or any other bullshit an aro’s got to deal with. Safety levels upon speaking up also vary; not everyone can be an activist. Handle this issue carefully.

As for daily life… being aro affects much of it, for many of us. It can affect which friends we have, what jobs we take, how we interact with people, what kind of partners and relationships we have, if any… everything, even in the smallest of ways. We know we’re different, we’re Others in the eyes of society. Romance is constantly marketed as something everyone always wants, must have, needs, and only the monsters, the aliens, the villains, the cold and broken and ugly don’t get a love interest at the end of the movie. The boy gets a girlfriend because he did a good job saving the world, right? Heteronormativity, misogyny, and amatonormativity intersect pretty neatly that way. This takes a toll on your mind over the years, the same way other anti-minority attitudes do.

The best way I can describe it is as a fundamental disconnect. It’s hearing people talk about their crushes and realizing you’ll never have a staple of the human experience, of growing up, of fitting in, that is so basic and ingrained it’s not even questioned. It’s realizing your friends will always value a romantic partner over you, no matter how close you are. It’s seeing wedding clothes and feeling sad, instead of hopeful or happy. It’s trying to find a song not about love, in vain. It’s watching a movie and not understanding why these two characters that stood next to each other are being shipped. It’s starting to loathe Valentine’s Day, for the constant reminders you’re different, so different no one even knows you’re here. It’s being so, so tired when people ask you why you haven’t kissed/dated/married yet, looking at you like you’re sad, or a child, or disgusting, or broken, or perverted. It’s realizing you don’t have the future everyone else sees as the ideal, and you don’t really know what kind of future you’ve got at all.

So yes, it can be depressing, but it can also be nice and fun, as shown in one of the asks I linked at the beginning. So don’t forget we’re not all gloomy discourse-plagued hermits, we’ve got personalities and stories and lives with many happy spots, just like any other person. One last thing, our resources page may help you as well!

Good luck writing your character; I hope they’re amazing!

- Mod Harley

[pride-and-flags-47]

Nonbinary November 2021 edition!

Third time doing this! I think this one will be the most different one from the other ones because i had quite some changes

Thanks again for @letters-to-lgbt-kids for making this list

1.Which labels do you use?

Right now it went down to just aroace really. On the gender departament, i just know that I'm not a girl. I'm still nonbinary but not actively using it to myself now. Been considering the label genderqueer too

2.What are your pronouns?

He/him

3.How old were you when you came out to yourself as nonbinary?

Well, kinda when i discovered i was trans, so 15, but as nonbinary it was a few months later, in 2019

4.What’s one thing you’d like to tell your younger self?

Please stand up for yourself more and stand your ground and demand to be shown how things work so you don't feel like youre being thrown into the deep end without knowing how to swin

Also please start to take care of yourself better, don't wait until a adhd-less moment your brain had for a day in the end of 2020 to actually start taking care of yourself better

5.Is there a myth about nonbinary people that annoys you the most?

That it's a third gender

6.Is there a nonbinary celebrity you look up to?

Not really anymore. Nothing happened, i just don't care much about celebrities.

7.If you’re out, how did you come out?

Haven't come out yet irl, but i did come out online and it was a pretty simple "hey im trans/nonbinary"

8.Is there a gender-related pun you like? 

Not really a pun but that "so you have none binery left?" meme is fun and i keep quoting it fjdnfn

9.Do you have friends who identify as nonbinary, too?

Yeah, like half of them fjdjdnd

10.Do you have a favorite lgbt+ character?

At the moment, Luz Noceda, Eda Clawthotne and Raine Whispers from the owl house. Toh brainrot going on three months strong now

(and not canonically, but Hunter has so much aro and trans vibes, so he's an honorary one based on my hcs)

11. Lgbt, lgbt+, lgbtqa+… which one do you usually use?

Ive been using just queer for the past few months

12. How do you explain the term “nonbinary” to people who have no idea what it means?

A spectrum of genders that aren't 100% man or woman, including not being either and also being both

13.Tell us a fun fact about yourself (gender-related or random!) 

I can't crack my knuckles ever since i was 6 years old, just the fingers individually

14.How did you find your name? 

Some two months before i discovered i was trans, i named an oc Alec, and i was like "this is the closest to a male version of my birthname" and then i realized im trans and took the name fjsnfnf

I used to have other names until pretty recently but i went back to just Alec now

15.If you’re in a relationship, how did your partner react to your coming-out?

Not in a relationship and wont be in one for the near and far future

16.Do you prefer partner, datemate, significant other or something else?

Tbh, none now. I used to be on an partening aro phase until recently, now im on a non partering romance indiferent aro phase that i think will be lasting for at least a good while.

17.A piece of advice for questioning kids?

Take your time, and, this is easier said than done but it's still important to try, don't give a fuck about other people's opinion about a certain label you connect with. If it fits you, hell yeah! If it doesn't, that's fine, change is okay. And also if it contradicts another label you have, it's fine, humans are full of contradictions

Not caring much about other's opinions (most of the time) really helped me with all that. Its something that i have since i was a kid, my brain just doesn't care about certain things, so it's easier for me, but even if it doesnt come naturally to you, i advise you to put your own feelings on the matter first. Don't live to please other's opinions about your identity.

And also, things change, just a few months ago i was a gay/toric aroace trans nonbinary demiguy, but then both my gender and orientation changed to what its now. Its okay.

18.Which flag(s) do you use?

To be honest, haven't really been vibing with any gender flags, so I'm just using the aro and ace flags

19.Any tips for bad days?

Blanket cocoons are great, they work wonderfully for me. Also remember to take care of your basic needs. They might or might not change much, but even if it doesnt change anything, at least you wont have to deal with like, a thirst migraine later

20.Do you have a favorite nonbinary blog on tumblr?

Every single time i get to this question i blank out

I guess @nonbinarymlm and @nonbinary-adhd

21.Feminine, masculine, androgynous - or none of those things?

Masculine

22. What are your three favorite things about yourself?

1- my sense of humour. Gotta be silly every day or my brain grows mold/j

2- my artstyle.

3- my sense of style. Turns out i dress quite well!

So this was this year's nonbinary november questions, i feel better about honestly everything this year, compared to 2019 and specially 2020. Im flourishing!