#im getting off track maybe but anyway. i hate the main gay ship but at least the art is nice

[avatar-aaang]

the cross i must bare is being in fandoms where the girl characters are shoved aside for gay ships to be the most popular thing in the tags

[razanartuk]

about me tag game thing

i was tagged by the wonderful @nothingunrealistic! thank you very much ily <3

under read more bc i was not capable of keeping my answers brief this time around

why did you choose your url?

this...was supposed to be a short explanation but it turned into quite a tale so strap in i guess because we are going on a ride. back in 2017 i was just getting into musical theatre rp and i was still feeling too shy to really talk to anyone ooc so i would just wait for people i wanted to interact with to post starter calls so i could just do things in character with them the easy way. So i did this with my friend cam, who posted a starter for me using a lyric from If I Could Tell Her. she linked the song so i could listen to it, so i did and i went ‘wait a minute, is that Ben Platt from Pitch Perfect?? (and other things too, but i only recognized his voice at the time bc of the acappella girl movies)’ and yes it certainly was.

i had zero idea what the plot of Dear Evan Hansen was about at that point, and for some reason based off Just That One Song and the poster art of who i assumed was Some Guy in a Polo Shirt i started to think it was about some jock guy who broke his arm and had an emo/goth friend who had either died or gone missing under mysterious circumstances. also i intuited that Evan had a crush on his friend’s sister but he couldn’t tell her that directly or his emo friend would kick his ass. so i was like mostly wrong, but a little bit right.

oh and i knew jared and alana were characters from the show bc cam said that they were i think?? but i had no idea what their role was. so after listening to if i could tell her, i listened to good for you and all i really got out of that was that evan the apparently not-jock guy had done...something... that really hurt jared and alana. and at that point i finally decided to go look up a plot synopsis and i found out i was waaay off base. but honestly this is why cast recordings should include scene dialogue in the songs bc otherwise you just get soundtracks like dear evan hansen where the songs have like. zero context. we really just go from waving through a window to for forever to sincerely me without like. any reason as to what is happening huh. It’s honestly not a surprise anymore that all those people on twitter had no idea the plot isn’t about gay teenagers.

anyways. cam was writing jared and she made a post at one point about wishing somebody would write alana and i was like ‘oh i could do that!’ (after i had actually Seen a bootleg and finally knew what the whole story was, of course) so i made a multimuse rp blog featuring alana beck, nabulungi hatimbi, chloe valentine and some other characters, and cam started sharing her headcanons with me that alana is trans, jared and alana were close friends when they were little kids but they sort of drifted apart as they got older and their priorities in life changed, jared was the first person alana came out to when she realized she’s trans, etc.

one night i started talking about wanting to pick a more theatre-relevant url for my blog and trans-[character name] urls were getting pretty popular, and at least 3 of the friends i made through rp had changed theirs to coordinating trans-[character name] and i think it was cam suggested i should make mine be trans-alana so i did. eventually i realized the unhyphenated version was available so i changed it to transalana with no hyphen and i have lived here ever since. sometimes i think about changing it but i feel like transalana has become a part of My Brand and i am not so great with coming up with cool names for things.

any side blogs? if you have them, name them and why you have them

in theory, i have sideblogs... i don’t really use them, but of the ones i do have, there is:

emsbookblog - this was supposed to be where i would post excerpts of the book that i’m working on, but i think i did that maybe one time roughly 2 years ago and then promptly forgot about it/got nervous about my writing and was scared to share anything else. the rest of the stuff that is there is assorted writing tips. i don’t really know what to do with it now. i probably should post all my little thoughts about em and anita and caleb there instead of infodumping on my main from time to time, but if i do that then i have to promo a sideblog and direct people over to it which is always annoying to me when i could just do it on this blog which is much easier

dearnovelhansen - this is basically no longer used, but was a sideblog i made specifically to talk/complain about the novel adaptation of Dear Evan Hansen which was about 3 years ago?? maybe? i can’t be trusted to understand the passage of time. but to summarize: i thought it was an honor just to have the story be made more accessible since many of us couldn’t see the stage performance, but i hated a lot of the creative liberties that were taken. my main grumbles are that everyone who isn’t evan or connor is done so dirty in the novel. connor’s still kind of done dirty in the book, but not as much as like. heidi, alana, jared, and zoe are.

horseisle3 - this one was meant to be a place where i could just enthusiastically post screenshots from hi3, but instead it turned into a blog where i occasionally reblog other players’ hi3 content and bitch about how bad the game admins are bc hi3 is the tumblr famous (infamous?) homophobic horse game. the game where it was once okay to call your club store the gulag bc according to their head of hr, ‘it’s just a russian word for prison’ but you can’t say ‘im gay’ without somebody accusing you of corrupting young children who play the game. unfortunately there aren’t very many good interactive horse games out there, so this one is still about as good as it gets. it’s either that or star stable and i don’t care about star stable.

mlaenie - i’ve had this url saved for i don’t even know how long. way way way back in the day when i wanted to escape from the clutches of the onceler fandom i abandoned my first blog where i basically had an alter ego i guess?? and i decided to just be myself on the new blog. i don’t fully remember who came up with it, but one of my sister’s mutuals suggested that if you scrambled the letters in your name you could come up with aesthetic-looking urls. so lauren’s url became lrauen, and to match with her mine became mlaenie, which i abandoned on tumblr after about a year or so? but have continued to use as my main username on twitter, reddit, youtube, xbox, steam, and discord. i barely ever use any of these accounts aside from twitter, steam, and xbox, but yeah. so i’ve decided to try and turn this empty sideblog into a place for video game thoughts maybe. we’ll see how long it lasts this time around.

how long have you been on tumblr?

i made my first tumblr account in december of 2010, but i didn’t understand how to use it at all or how to customize my theme to look cool and unique so i quickly abandoned it. i made a new account in september of 2011 after some kids at school and my sister told me i should and i have been trapped here with varying degrees of activity/inactivity ever since. i have witnessed the rise and fall of the lorax/onceler fandom, hyperfocused on lord of the rings, star wars and back to the future all at the same time, and for the past 4 years i’ve mostly been a musical theatre blog with assorted other fandom stuff mixed in. i feel i have seen everything and nothing, but mostly i’m just tired and bored.

do you have a queue tag?

no bc i don’t use a queue. i’ve tried using it in the past but i irrationally feel pressured to sustain a coherent theme to queued posts and my brain simply does not vibe with that so i just don’t use it at all anymore. Instead i instantly reblog or post several unrelated thoughts in succession and then don’t post again at all for 3 days. the way god intended

why did you start your blog in the first place?

my very first blog was intended to be a place for me to post all of my petz 5 animals’ profile info, but i didn’t have any understanding of how coding worked at all and i don’t think i really wanted to learn, either. so it just sat there, unused. my second attempt at blogging was as a classic rock fandom person, so as you can probably imagine i was pretty pretentious about ‘modern pop’ vs the beatles, the rolling stones, the who, the monkees, and so on. and then i slowly devolved into a lorax fandom blog and everything went to shit so i made a new blog for lord of the rings/the hobbit which later evolved to include star wars and back to the future blogging. and then for the past 4 years i’ve been mainly a musical theatre blog with other random stuff i like thrown haphazardly into the pot. wonderful.

why did you choose your icon/pfp?

because my url is transalana and two of my most prominent lgbt headcanons are that alana beck is trans and a lesbian. i gotta be shouting out @kinqmike though bc she’s the one i adopted the trans alana beck headcanon from in the first place!

why did you choose your header?

in 2017 i was hyperfixating on Dear Evan Hansen (and Be More Chill, but there weren’t many gif-able videos then considering it ran for a month in New Jersey in 2015 and there was only one yet-to-resurface 35 minute bootleg) so i just grabbed a random gif off of google. i really should get to replacing it with a new header of my own though. i just don’t know what i should do for it.

what’s your post with the most notes?

i have lost track of how many notes it has (i think it’s somewhere around 200 now?) but when Will Roland and George Salazar performed Two Player Game on Good Morning America, i posted a screencap of their Jeremy and Michael along with that one quiz answer meme that says stuff like ‘i want to see it grow up healthy’. i didn’t tag it with any ship names or anything because i was anxious about having it show up in the tags, but somebody who reblogged it from me did tag it as boyf riends and i firmly believe it took off because of that. i don’t think i make posts that are relevant enough to amass thousands of notes, even by accident. which is probably a good thing bc if i did i would have to block so many of them.

how many followers do you have?

on this blog? 175 according to the counter. how many of those are still real people and how many are bots and abandoned accounts? i have no idea.

how many people do you follow?

i try to keep it somewhere around 200. i think i’m sitting at 180 right now but i kind of need to go through and clear out the really inactive blogs.

have you made a shitpost?

let’s think about this for a second. i’ve been on tumblr for nearly 10 years. you might even be able to say i’ve made more than one. they’re just not what you would call...popular shitposts.

how do you feel about ‘you need to reblog this’ post?

that stuff makes me so incredibly anxious that i have to fight the urge to want to yeet my laptop or mobile device through the closest window whenever i read it, so i try very hard to avoid any sort of ‘if you don’t reblog this, i’m judging you’ posts. i find them very manipulative and not particularly helpful

do you like tag games?

yeah babey!! i just frequently forget to do them, but please know that if you have ever tagged me in a tag game i felt incredibly touched by the gesture and the @mention even if i completely forgot to do the thing afterward

do you like ask games?

i do! but also rip to literally anyone who has ever sent me an ask meme bc it takes me so long to answer them. i’m still working on a micro fic prompt from a few weeks ago. also, horrified to realized that it has in fact been a few weeks and not 3 days anymore.

which of your mutuals do you think is tumblr famous?

i don’t know that any are tumblr famous as a whole. but probably @neverheardnothing

do you have a crush on a mutual?

in any sort of romantic connotation? no. not that i’m aware of. there are mutuals that i have friend crushes on where i want to be friends with them but i get so anxious when it comes to meeting new people that usually nothing ever comes of it. i’m really not good at small talk or other casual conversation either which, as you may or may not be able to imagine, sucks. i just wanna skip over all of the awkward introductions and ‘hey how are you, how is life, what are you doing with yourself?’ stuff. not because i don’t care about it. i do, but i think most of my friends/the people i want to be my friends are also depressed and anxious so asking these basic questions about life tends to uh. make us all nervous. and i don’t do much with my life so i always have the most boring answers anyways.

i’m not tagging anyone officially bc the @ thing has just completely given up on me at this point, but if you want to do it, go for it. and then say i tagged you so i can read it c:

[thegeminisage]

zeldablogging! i actually quit playing hours ago but i didn’t have time to post it until now

firstly my bro came over and let me use all his amiibos and i got epona and some SWEET gear, but it's like, a random chance to get one of the three piece fo each one, so he has to COME BACK so can get everything

i got one of link's iconic hats haha im Sad

also i went to the wasteland tower and i can see the divine beast from there!! i think with the flying island bird thing i've now seen them all

altho if that ship thing really is the beast and i can see if from that far away...holy Fuck. they are so Big

my brother wanted me to go north to the woods at the top of the map to get the master sword, but im just not Ready yet. i wanna see more plot. he also told me that there was no special quest for it which like :/ weak?? im disappointed tbh

the interactive map shows a stable along the road so i guess i will start there!

i'm a little intimidated by the big desert tbh

god everything here is so tall and vast...i'm pretty sure bits of this are from one of the cool parts of the trailer

omg there's a talus on this hill

dont feel like fighting it now tho lol

KASS IS HERE <3

omg four dudes lost in the gerudo region...now THIS sounds familiar

ahaha :')

actually, i think i'm gonna go ahead and head to gerudo town first before exploring everywhere...which is the opposite of what i SAID i wanted to do after death mountain but this desert is big and vast and it'll be easier to keep track of what i've done, and tbh i'm afraid of running into the divine beast while i explore LMAO

plus: i wanna see plot!

i like that horses follow the roads, i can kinda see the sights and scope it out a little before Deep Exploration

wait can i not

oh god can i not ride my horse out here....?

oh jesus

ohhh my god what a long walk.......haha i've become spoiled

oh well here we go

lol i put on the link hat and got like. overwhelmed, emotionall.y too much. so much. to see him in green rn. altho lowkey disappointed he hasn't been in green for most of the game thats just His Color

omg it gets Cold in the desert at night!!

i bet in the daytime it gets hot hahaha

ooh i got a gerudo shield and scimitar from this lizalfos! nice!

WOW ANOTHER GERUDO HI HELLO IM GAY

uh

why......doesn't my map work rn

what the fuck??

i opened it and?? static??

please tell me it's the divine beast and not an area thing i can't LIVE without my map

wow the air got all green and windy here when i walked towards a shrine...dnw dnw 

see this is why i worried about exploring but it's Right There if igured it'd be no trouble

thats what i get for thinkin

omg a SAND SEAL?? they are so weird lookin haha and it scared me for a sec moving thru the gloom like that. thought it was a monster

uh

it strikes me with no minimap i can't fast travel and everything looks just the same out here...what if i get lost?

oh there's the shrine thank god

omg my map works inside the shrine ;w;

tbh i dont feel like doing it rn i'd fast travel out of this green shit if that didn't mean having to start the whole walk over

i guess i can just fast travel to the shrine itself at least now i know the direction i need to walk to get out

yep and here goes the temp climbing. jesus

luckily i prepped for this when i stop to cook i like to make a bit of everything and i knew i was coming somewhere hot, so

LMFAO out of sheer curiosity i took all my armor off and that worked too.

ohhh amn this no-map green-sand no-visibility thing is WIGGING ME OUT dude i pray it's a divine beast thing bc i can't explore like this AND i couldn't really see the whole beast bc of the sand. so. fingers crossed

please let me find the road please let me find the road please let me find the road

put all my armor back on bc i spotted an enemy and thats super weird even without special food the sun isn't killing me anymore...maybe it's a noontimeish thing? but no, it was sunrise before and 10am now.......mysterious. i don't like it. i do not like the desert. i Do Not like the desert.

I JUST HEARD THE BEAST ROAR

oh my god and there it is...what even IS that jesus christ

it's so big im scared and crying

and the lightning!!! it's so powerful!!!!

like, my brother said the dungeons were too easy but the FEEL of these things...they truly are fucking divine

oh thank fuck i see fire. help me please

MY MAP'S BACK YES

thank GOD

and i'm at gerudo town i think!! somehow

but i missed the oasis and i know there was a memory there painter dude told me ):

wait, no...this IS the oasis! yes!!!!!! i made it to the road in the perfect spot!!!!!!

wait they;re saying here "voe" aren't allowed in gerdo town...oh my god are they being serious rn

I HATE THE DESERT LMAO

but frankly i can't blame them. tbh if i had a society of all females i wouldn't let any men in either.

there's. so many pretty women in here. they're so tall. i'm so gay

omg there's a rito and a goron here!

oooh the highlands tower sandstorm apparently dies down for a few hours every day!! good to know x_x

god if it IS a regional thing im totally fucked.

oop the temp kicked up again once i left the oasis

WAIT i almost forgot the memory jesus christ!

ok ok

WHOAAA HOLY FCK

zelda was running from the yiga clan and link stepped in and saved her at the last second AND THE MAIN THEME PLAYED A LITTLE

altho i kinda hate this helpless damsel zelda stuff...i guess it's mostly par for the course, tho - very few games have had her able to fight and even the ones that did got her captured at the very end

there's a rock outcropping here and i can SEE the sandstorms, jesus

i hope they're less frequent after i free the beast

maybe the one near the shrine/tower broke up for a sec and that's why the temp kicked up? everyone says it does once a day...but my map didn't change lol so idk

lol got to tell a gerudo she was my dream girl

haha so they travel and leave to find husbands and have kids? she mentioned "training"... great potential for trans characters here but alas that's WAY beyond nintendo rn

i like that they speak another language, it makes the world feel bigger and more real (and they even teach you some!!)

omg you can RIDE the sand seals?!

i...need a shield...to sand seal SURF

that sounds. like the coolest thing ive ever heard in my whole life

apparently there's a guy who slips in every night that i could follow!! i wish i could just sneak in myself, tho

all right nothing doing so i loked it up and APPARENTLY YOU HAVE TO CROSSDRESS LOL i love it

like i've seen that outfit in guides and i thought it looked a bit nonfunctional

altho i hope this plotline doesn't make crossdressers the butt of a joke!!

aw you can tell the person on the rock "you're a man" but im gonna pretend she's trans and not be a jerk

AAAH I LOOK PRETTY

ok, i absolutely gotta dye these pink

AWWW LINK LOOKS BASHFUL WHEN TOLD HE IS A GOOD-LOOKIN GAL

MY SWEET SON

yes i am fast traveling this instant to dye these

i know this game is probably being gross about this but frankly i love the idea of agender link

and these are my favorite clothes i wanna wear them and ride my pink horse all the time

aaah and now i am pink!! tbh i'd love to sneak in now but i have a stream to get ready for ))):

maybe i will just look around really quick i still have a few minutes

im usually a little late starting anyways lol

ooh the music in the day here is rly cool!

OMG A LIL BABY GERUDO GIRL SHE'S SO CUTE im crying

LOL THERE'S A GORON HERE

why did they let him in! i thought there were no girl gorons

lmao even he doesn't know......omg

omg an OLD gerudo too finally!!!

gaaaah i wanna look around more but my time is up for tonight!!