#these chapters just get worse and worse with each release

[beauttifullife]

Chapter 20: This Road is Wild and Wicked (Preview)

“When people first hear how my mind works, they think it’s a gift,” she murmured, her gaze fixed somewhere distant, as if she were speaking to the air in front of her. “It really isn’t. I think… I think it’s a curse.”  

Agatha turned to her, caught off guard by the statement that seemed to come out nowhere, but Rio didn’t look back.   

Agatha could see the tension in Rio’s grip, the way her fingers tightened as if she were holding on to Agatha’s hand as a lifeline, as if she needed it to keep going.   

Agatha squeezed back, silently urging her forward, waiting.  

“When I was thirteen,” Rio began, her voice steady but laced with a strain, “my parents and I were driving back from one of my soccer tournaments. We were hit head-on by a drunk driver. My dad… he died instantly.”   

She paused, a tremor passing through her voice.   

“My mom, though… she was hurt badly. I could see her, but I couldn’t get to her—my legs were pinned.”  

Rio’s gaze drifted, as if the memory were pulling her back.  

Agatha watched as Rio’s free hand drifted to her knee, fingers tracing slow, restless patterns back and forth.  

“Sitting here, in this car,” Rio continued, her voice soft, hesitant, like she was speaking from a place buried deep within, “I can feel it, like I’m back there all over again. The weight pressing down on my legs, the tightness in my chest... the panic clawing its way up, the helplessness…”  

Her voice trailed off, and she pressed her head back into the leather seat, squeezing her eyes shut, her jaw clenched so tightly Agatha swore she could hear her teeth grinding.  

“And I can still hear her breaths,” Rio gritted out, the words strained, as if they were physically painful to release. “Each one... so wet, so— pained .”  

Agatha sucked in a quiet breath, her chest tightening in response to the raw pain laced in Rio’s voice.  

Jesus.  

Why was Rio telling her this? Why was she putting herself through the agony of reliving it?  

A sharp ache bloomed in Agatha’s chest as a startling realization hit her— she hated this.  

 Seeing Rio in pain, watching her struggle through memories that tore her apart piece by piece. Catching Rio quietly wiping tears away in the bathroom had been hard enough, but this… this was so much worse.  

But Rio wasn’t finished. It was as if she were determined to reach the end, to push through this painful memory, as though it held something she needed Agatha to understand.  

“My mom, she… she turned toward me,” Rio continued, her voice trembling, thick with emotion. “Even then, I could tell she was barely holding on. I knew— somehow, I just knew —that she was going to die. And there was nothing I could do to stop it.”  

She swallowed hard, her jaw clenched as tears gathered in her eyes, shimmering in the dim light of the car.   

Agatha’s chest ached as she watched Rio struggle to hold back the flood of emotions, her grip tightening around Agatha’s hand in a borderline painful grip.  

“And then,” Rio’s voice broke, barely more than a whisper now, yet so loud in the quiet car.  “She told me… ‘ Close your eyes, mija ,’ she said. ‘ Close your eyes and cover your ears. Can you do that for me, baby? ’”  

After the words crawled painfully out of her mouth, she shook her head, as if trying to shake the sound of her mother voice from her ears.  

“I didn’t understand why she was asking me to do that,” she continued quietly, her voice trembling. “But I was terrified, so I did what she asked. I closed my eyes, covered my ears, and sat there in the back seat, surrounded by darkness and silence that felt like it would go on forever… while she died just five feet away from me.”  

Agatha’s chest tightened painfully, the weight of Rio’s words sinking deep.  

Rio’s words lingered in the silence that followed, as if the weight of them took on a tangible presence, filling the car—pressing against them.    

Agatha held her breath, watching as the tears finally slipped form her eyes and down Rio’s cheeks, silent but devastating.   

Agatha’s throat tightened, as she felt the urge to say something, to reach out and wipe them away, to offer words of comfort, but nothing seemed adequate—she was trapped in this story just as much Rio was.    

Rio took a shaky breath, wiping her cheek with the back of her hand, though her grip on Agatha’s hand didn’t loosen.   

“It wasn’t until later, at the hospital that I realized why she told me to do that.  She asked me to close my eyes and cover my ears,” Rio continued, her voice fragile, “because she knew I’d never forget the moment she died. She knew that memory would haunt me. So, she tried to shield me, even then. She died still trying to protect me— protecting me from own mind .”  

Agatha’s heart ached at the depth of Rio’s pain, her fingers tightening around Rio’s hand in silent support. This wasn’t just a story—this was Rio’s way of opening a door to her heart, showing Agatha something she kept hidden from everyone.  

“After that, I learned to keep everything separate,” Rio said, her gaze distant, lost in the past. “To keep my eyes shut and my ears covered—to keep my emotions apart from the memories. It was the only way I know how to survive… to stop them from consuming me.”  

Agatha became dimly aware of the car slowing to a stop, catching a fleeting glimpse of Rio’s street outside the window, but she couldn’t tear her focus away from Rio. She was entirely caught up in the raw, unfiltered honesty spilling out before her.  

Rio hesitated, her hand tightening around Agatha’s, then loosening, then tightening again, as though she were battling with something buried deep.   

Agatha braced herself, sensing that whatever came next was going to be harder still—though she couldn’t imagine how Rio could possibly bear to share something more painful.  

With a deep, aching sigh, Rio finally turned, lifting her gaze to meet Agatha’s. Her eyes shone with a vulnerability so raw that it made Agatha’s heart skip a beat.  

And for the first time since she’d begun speaking, Rio looked her directly in the eye, and Agatha understood—whatever came next held everything Rio had been holding back.  

“But I can’t keep my eyes closed with you, Agatha,” Rio whispered, her voice breaking, the words trembling on the edge of something raw and unguarded. Her gaze held Agatha’s, as if searching for a safe place to land.  

She swallowed hard, her fingers tightening around Agatha’s as though trying to ground herself.   

“It just hit me out of nowhere.  And suddenly I... I feel everything ,” she admitted, her voice barely above a whisper, thick with emotion. “And I don’t know how to shut it off.”  

[ofdemonsandangels]

I don’t know what’s worst: the constant cycle of taking Casca out of the fridge, letting her thaw out for a little, and then shoving her back in again or taking Griffith’s antagonist ambiguity away and portraying him as the smug, twirling mustache villain that 95% of the community thinks he is

[letstalkaboutshtufff]

Never a Burden Part 2

Neteyam x reader

Pairing: Neteyam x Reader Mate

Warnings: Mentions of injury, mild blood, kinda 18+ at the end.

Previous chapter

****************************************************

You waited for what felt like hours for your mate to return.

As soon as he walked through the entrance you shot up on your feet.

He released a sigh when he saw you and raised his arms out to you.

You immediately ran into his embrace hugging him tightly.

Seconds later you were pulling away to look him up and down. Your breath caught seeing his bleeding knuckles.

“Teyam…”

“It is nothing love, don’t be sad” he pulled you close again releasing a deep sigh.

“I’m sorry Neteyam…” you murmured into his chest.

“Shh don’t apologize.” He kissed your head and pulled you to sit down on his lap by the fire.

“Lemme get some salve for your hand-“ you attempted to stand but he pulled you back down with a click of his tongue.

“Leave it, it’s nothing..”

“…Neteyam… what did you do?” Fear was evident in your voice.

“I showed him what happens when someone messes with my family…” his tone was bitter.

Panic was clear as day on your face but Neteyam was quick to dispel your worries, “Don’t worry he’s not dead, as much as I wanted to kill him, I did not.”

“But he won’t be able to join us on raids anytime soon…” he muttered.

“W-wha, what did you do??”

Made his face look like a bowl of purple berries, Broke his arm for touching you, gave him a much worse bruise on his stomach, shoved him in the river and held his head down a little too long…

“Just roughed him a bit don’t worry..”

“But you just said he wouldn’t be able to-“

He shut you up with an abrupt kiss. It was slow and sweet, that is until he bit you.

“Ow what was that for.” You pouted and pulled back.

“For not telling me the moment someone was bothering you.”

“But Teyam-“

“No buts”. His eyes were stern.

“Since when do we hide things from each other hm?” You looked down feeling shame.

“I…I didn’t want to but I didn’t want to burden you with this Neteyam…” he sighed loudly.

“It’s never a burden, you’re never a burden…” he made sure you were looking in his eyes.

They held nothing but the truth. You weren’t a burden.

“Promise you’ll never hide something like this from me again.”

You nodded, “I promise”.

He kissed you again, “good”.

“How is your wound?” He readjusted you to look at your stomach.

“It’s alright, it looks worse than it is..”

You could read the emotions on his face, bearing himself up that he couldn’t protect you.

“Don’t Neteyam, don’t- I’m alright. I promise. It’s nobody’s fault except them.. and thanks to you I don’t think they’ll be bothering me anytime soon…” you kissed his bruised knuckles.

He smiled warmly but then suddenly furrowed his brows, “Wait they? What do you mean “they””.

You blinked up innocently, “didn’t I mention his friends…?”

Neteyam scoffed in exasperation, “No you did not mention his friends!”

“Ok ok calm down, they didn’t do anything just called me some names, Tu’Mey was the only one who hurt me-Ow Neteyam!” You pouted bringing a hand to your freshly flicked forehead.

“What did you just promise woman!”

“I-It it doesn’t count, I forgot about them, I wasn’t hiding it!”

“You-” you interrupted him this time with a kiss.

He let out the millionth sigh of the night.

“What am I going to do with you hm?” He said fondly.

“You’re the one who chose me Neteyam” you grinned.

“Yeah I did…”

“Do you regret it…?”

“Never” he smirked pulling you in for a much deeper kiss than before.

“I think I know how to keep you out of trouble…”

“Oh yeah? And what’s that?” You shivered when he nibbled on your ear.

“I’ll wear you out until you can’t move, you can’t cause trouble if you can’t walk..”

Eywa help you..

**************************************************

Short but sweet conclusion! Hope you enjoyed! Thanks for reading🥰

[mrsshabana]

𝐖𝐄𝐑𝐄𝐖𝐎𝐋𝐅!𝐆𝐘𝐔𝐓𝐀𝐑𝐎 ⛧ 𝐂𝐇𝐀𝐏𝐓𝐄𝐑 𝐓𝐖𝐎

꒦꒷‧₊ Summary The full moon has made your werewolf boyfriend go completely feral. But not with instincts to kill. Instead, his instincts are telling him to breed you. ꒦꒷‧₊ Content Gyutaro x female!reader, 18+ MDNI, hunter/prey, size difference, vaginal sex, creampie, breeding, biting/marking, knotting ꒦꒷‧₊ Note 1.7k words. I've never written anything like this before but I tried to go out of my comfort zone and try something new! I hope you all enjoy it!

༺ Art ༻

⇢ Chapter one ⇢ Chapter three ⇢ Kinktober Masterlist

A wave of relief washes over you when you realize that Gyutaro doesn't intend to kill you.

You know that you still need to tread lightly and that one wrong move could lead to you getting hurt. Or worse, him changing his mind about keeping you alive. But you do feel a little better knowing that killing you isn't his priority right now.

However, his other priority is still quite concerning. The obvious arousal your werewolf boyfriend is feeling hasn't gone unnoticed.

Feeling his member rub against you as it's barely confined by his pants sends shivers down your spine. The size of it rivaling that of your forearm.

To say it made you nervous would be an understatement. Not just because he's big, but also because you've never been intimate with Gyutaro before. The furthest you've ever gone with him was kissing, and maybe cuddling if that even counts. The thought of finally having sex with him for the first time gives you butterflies.

And Gyutaro has wanted to mate with you ever since you asked him to be your boyfriend. He was ready to take that next step and officially mark you as his. But he knows humans don't move as quickly as werewolves, so he put his instincts aside. However, now that the full moon is out he can't help himself.

Rutting against your thigh and yelping as if the lack of release is physically hurting him.

"Gyutaro..." you mutter as you roll your fingers through his long hair and scratch behind his ear. Causing his eyes to roll to the back of his head in bliss. Momentarily calming down from the worked-up state he was in.

For a moment it feels like you're petting your sweet boyfriend instead of trying to calm an angry beast.

"I know it hurts," you coo as you slowly trail your hand down his body, "I want to help you." His hips buck when the palm of your hand gently caresses his member. You can feel it throbbing under the thin layer of his pants.

His ears perk up and he suddenly wraps his arms around you, picking you up as he stands. Slinging you over his shoulder and carrying you like a princess that's been kidnapped by a terrifying monster.

"Ah!" You gasp at the sudden motion. But as suspected your boyfriend says nothing, just panting and growling as he carries you away.

You wish he would speak to you, let you know that he's ok, or at least tell you that he won't hurt you. But this full moon has turned him completely animalistic.

He takes you to a strange hollow cave nearby, neatly tucked away behind tall trees.

Gyutaro sniffs the air before placing you on the ground. It isn't ideal but it's much better than outside where there were probably ticks and who knows what else.

You don't have much time to relax though, because Gyutaro is quick to pounce on you again. Tugging at your clothes with his teeth, ripping them off of you.

"W-wait!" you whine, trying to stop him but he doesn't listen. Snarling as he ruins each piece of clothing until only shreds of fabric remain around your nude body.

"Don't be so rough, Gyu!" You say as you try to push him away. But he quickly catches your hand in his mouth, a feral look in his eyes as his fangs bear down on your skin. Biting down hard enough to send a warning, but not quite enough to break the skin.

"O-Ok, I'm sorry," you slowly pull back your hand, and he opens his maw allowing you to do so.

He looks like your boyfriend but his playful attitude is gone, you can't forget that or next time he might give you more than a warning bite.

His fluffy ears fold back as he leans forward, towards your neck, and begins licking and nibbling your skin. A soft moan escapes your lips as his long flat tongue glides along your neck and up to your jaw. His sharp teeth gently bite your most vulnerable area. Usually when hunting he goes for the neck, sinking in his fangs and tearing apart flesh. But he's gentle with you, saying in his own way that you can trust him.

Being careful not to move too fast, you gently reach down. Gliding your fingers through the silky soft fur that trails down from his belly button. Going further until your fingers reach his pants, or what's left of them.

But there's no saving them from Gyutaro's claws. As once you try to remove them he's already reaching down to help.

The tattered fabric falls off of him, revealing something that can only be described as monstrous.

Staring down at it with a mixture of awe and fear, watching as it throbs - eager to fulfill its goal of delivering his seed to your womb. Every instinct within his body screams at him to breed you, that it's his only purpose.

"Make her your mate, she's perfect." "If you don't claim her someone else will." "Breed her. Breed her. Breed her."

And he can't help but listen to them.

With a deep guttural growl, Gyutaro flips you over and grabs your hips. Roughly pulling them up and into the air so he has full access to what he craves most.

You yelp as you're abruptly moved like some kind of toy. Squirming under his grasp, but his large clawed hands have a strong grip on you. The size of his hand reminding you of your vast size difference even though you can't see him in this position.

You can hear him lick his lips in anticipation as he looks down at that sweet breedable cunt.

There's nothing you can do. You have to submit to him and if you don't then he will force you to.

He eagerly positions himself and starts thrusting forward, though his eagerness hinders his effectiveness. Repeatedly his cock misses your entrance. He digs his claws into your flesh as he begins to get frustrated. But after a few attempts and repositioning his hips, he achieves his goal and slides into you.

His size prevents him from entering you fully at first, but even though only half of him is inside you still feel completely full.

He howls in excitement.

"G-Gyu," you whimper, "Please... be gentle."

Your pleas go unheard as he thrusts at a sporadic pace. As if his only goal is to fill you up with his seed and nothing else in the world matters.

Your tight human walls weren't meant for him, but that only makes it more pleasurable. He's more than twice the size of what you humans are supposed to take. And both of you can feel it.

Your walls are so impossibly tight around him, and the fit only gets tighter as he shoves inch after inch of himself inside of you until he's as far as he can go.

Tears flow from your eyes and your legs quickly give out. He holds tightly onto your hips as your arms barely keep your face from hitting the ground.

Drool splatters on your back as he picks up the pace. Only pulling out a third of the way before thrusting back in again. He can't bear to be away from the tight grip your pussy has on him.

By this point, all of the aches and pains in your body are drowned out and all you feel is undeniable pleasure. His thick length rams into places that were never meant to be touched, and your body can't handle it.

Constantly shaking in his grasp as you're forced to have orgasm after orgasm. There's no point in counting because it seems that with every couple of thrusts, he manages to force another one out of you.

Your slick splattering on the floor, splashing against his rutting hips, and staining the patch of fur above his cock.

And the sounds are just as obscene. Not only the slapping of skin but also the screams and cries that you can't hold back. The animalistic howls that echo from him turn into yelps as he gets closer to climax.

A large knot already formed at the base of his length. You don't notice it at first, but he does. And it's a signal for his body, his instincts telling him what to do next. It's programmed into him like an unbreakable code.

He leans forward and bites down on the back of your neck. Hard enough to leave a mark and to keep you from moving.

Somehow you manage to reach up and tug his ear with one of your numb arms. You want to tell him to stop, that it hurts, that you're afraid he might bite down too hard and kill you. But you can't manage anything but screams and moans as he pounds into you.

If you were able to look down you'd see the shape of his cock protruding from your belly. Sliding in and out ferally, his intentions clear.

He thrusts harder, harder, and harder. Desperately trying to fit that knot inside of you.

He snarls, tightening his grip on your neck. With a pop, he finally succeeds. You feel like you're being ripped apart and stretched past your limit as the swollen knot is forced into you.

Immediately his hips are stuttering, his fur stands on end, and his cock twitches. You didn't have enough room to fit his knot so you definitely don't have enough room to fit all that cum he's spurting into you. But the knot prevents any from leaking out, so your body adjusts. You feel your stomach bulge as he fills you impossibly full.

Finally, he claimed you. He feels like he succeeded as a wave of pure bliss washes over him.

His body shudders, and a soft whine escapes his lips as he lets go of your neck. Gently setting you down, he lays on top of you. The two of you still connected.

Your vision is going in and out, the pressure in your abdomen worsening as he puts his weight on top of you.

"Ngh, Gyu... h-heavy," you whimper as you try to wiggle out from under him.

But as soon as you start moving, he's yelping frantically as if he's in pain.

"What?!" you gasp, reaching over to pet behind his ears in an attempt to calm him. "Did I hurt you...?"

And that's when you notice that he's still inside of you. His knot not showing any signs of deflating any time soon.

Your eyes widen as you realize that the two of you are stuck.

[vivwritesfics]

Hungry Like The Wolf

Chapter Eleven

She hadn't seen her best friend, Lando, in years. She didn't run into him the last time she was visiting her father and she doubted she'd see him this time. Things were different now. She wasn't aware of his furry little problem. Just like she wasn't aware of the vampires plaguing the town.

2K

Vampire!Oscar x Reader x Werewolf!Lando

Warnings: Horny (no smut, not yet), negative views of poly relationships (not my own views)

Series Masterlist

Feel free to buy me a coffee ☕☕

"What the hell are you doing?!"

Lando and Oscar had tried to be polite, tried to be normal about things. They went to the front door, knocked, and waited for it to be opened.

He had to make things right, Lando knew. He had to fix things with her before he inevitably made things worse.

While they were waiting for the door to open, they heard a noise. Both boys knew they wouldn't have picked up on it if they weren't... you know. But they both heard it, clear as day. "What the fuck?" Lando hissed as he looked at Oscar.

The front door opened as they disappeared around to the back of the house. "Hello?" They heard Mr Wolff call as he peered out into the night. He muttered something, something that sounded like damned kids.

But neither Lando nor Oscar were too concerned with what Toto Wolff had to say. No, they got to her window and immediately knew what was wrong.

"Seriously, what the fuck!" Lando shouted as they stared up at her, hanging from the window.

She tried to get some sort of grip on the wall, tried to find some sort of crevice to place her foot on, but there was nothing. "Don't worry about it. Can one of you just climb up here and help me?"

In the blink of an eye, Oscar was in her bedroom. Lando climbed up the tree but Oscar wrapped his arms around her and hoisted her up and back into the bedroom. "What on earth were you doing?" He asked as he pulled her inside and gently set her back on her feet. Immediately he had a hold of her hand, checking for any splinters or anything.

She shrugged her shoulders, stepping out of the way for Lando to climb his way in. "You guys disappeared out of the window and I wanted to follow," she mumbled as she folded her arms and sat on her bed.

In defeat, Oscar held his hand up. She was being as stubbornly annoying as Lando, but at least Lando had an excuse.

But Lando was just standing there, hands in his pocket, not saying anything. God, it was so damn exhausting. Oscar released a sigh and threw his head back. If left up to the two of them, nothing was going to get fixed.

"Lando has something he wants to say," he said as he leaned against the desk, arms crossed over his chest.

Lando sucked in a breath. He squeezed his eyes shut, nails digging into his palms. "I..."

The words died on his tongue. I'm sorry. It was so simple, two little words and he would be done. Why wasn't he saying it? The way she was looking at him, so ready to forgive him, but Lando just couldn't see it.

He was so damn infuriating.

Oscar released an exhausted sigh. "Lando probably should explain how the full moon affects people like him. He should probably explain to you that he's dealing with heightened emotions and that is why he snapped earlier. He got scared by the thought of you leaving and..."

The two of them were looking at him, waiting for him to continue. "AND..." He prompted again, eyes flashing at Lando.

"And... I'm sorry," Lando finally repeated. His gaze dropped to his shoes. "The way I lost it was stupid. I mean, we're adults now and we can drive to see each other and now that you've got us, you can't leave for four years at a time."

A laugh left her lips. She unfolded her arms and stood from her bed. "You got that right," she said and strode towards him, arms wrapping around his neck as she pulled him in closer.

Oscar watched as they, quite literally, kissed and made up. "You guys are something else," he mumbled as Lando leaned back, almost tumbling out of the window. But Oscar was behind him in a second, a steadying hand on his back, keeping the two of them safely inside.

But then they were turning towards him, on him in seconds. Thank God he was strong, steady on his feet and not human. The both of them demanded his attention, and Oscar was only happy to give it.

"Promise me you only snapped because of the full moon?" She mumbled as between kissing Oscar's cheek and neck. Kissing a vampires neck, it was a little funny, wasn't it? His puncture wounds had long since disappeared, not marring his skin like the movies made out it would.

Lando let out a hum, pulling away from Oscar's lips. "Promise," he said, fingers threading through her hair and turning her towards him. "All rational thinking goes out of the window when there's a full moon involved."

Don't tell them about the horny phase. Don't tell them about the horny phase.

He kissed her again, hands cupping her face. The whine it pulled from her was so damn sweet, it had Oscar holding back a shudder. And he wasn't even the one pulling those noises from her. He could only begin to guess the affect it was having on Lando.

But Lando pulled away from her, surprising them both. "Should we continue that date?" He asked, looking from her to Oscar.

The three of them climbed onto the bed. Oscar first, shuffling over to the other side and realising he probably should have just climbed in that side. And then her. She was supposed to climb into the middle, to lay between her two boys.

But she left that space free, left it for Lando. He swallowed thickly as he climbed between the two of them, settling down as Oscar put his arm around his shoulders. This was not going to help stave off the horny phase.

She picked the movie. Head on Lando's chest, she scrolled through her streaming services until she found something old. Another movie Oscar had seen in the cinema, this time in the seventies.

They were both tired, Oscar could tell that much. Maybe it was the way their voices were muffled and barely there. Maybe it was the way their eyes started drooping. But it also could have been the onslaught of yawns.

"You can sleep," he said, squeezing Lando's shoulder.

It wasn't permission; they both knew they didn't need permission, but they fell asleep not long after that. The two of them turned towards him, Lando curled against his side, her wrapping herself around Lando's back like a koala on it's mothers back.

Oscar made the great effort of kissing both of their heads and turned his attention back to the movie. He hadn't seen it since the seventies, hadn't cared to watch it for a second time, but he wasn't going to tell them that.

He watched them, watched as they slept. She gripped Lando's shirt so tight, almost as if she was afraid he'd disappear out of the window again if he let go.

But then the bedroom door opened.

If he'd been concentrating, he would have heard Toto coming. It would have given him time to jump out the window, or hide in the closet. Something so this looked normal. Because this wasn't normal, not even by their standards.

Toto stared at him. He stared at Toto. Like a deer caught in headlights, Oscar could do nothing else but stare. Even when Lando made that slightly distressed noise, he couldn't move to give him any sort of comfort (which was fine, because she moved closer, unconsciously pressing her face into his back).

Toto cleared his throat, but it wasn't loud enough to wake either of them. "I've leave you to it, then," he whispered and pulled the door shut.

His words might have seemed hushed and calm, but he certainly wasn't. But that was a conversation he could have with his daughter the next day. Or maybe the day after, the poor man needed time to process.

***

Let me tell you about the horny phase.

It wasn't a fun horny phase, wasn't sudden bursts of passion that overtook Lando, that led to them falling into the bed and messing up the sheets. No, it had him agitated, an itch under his skin that he couldn't quite scratch.

She wasn't helping, but she didn't know. Like that afternoon, when she was picking out an outfit for their café date. "I'm gonna roast in this," she said, changing out of the old man cardigan she had been wearing as Lando and Oscar climbed through the window.

He released an inhuman noise as she stood in front of her wardrobe, trying to pick something new. But that noise soon turned into a whimper as Oscar grabbed his arm, his free hand touching the back of her neck. "Calm yourself," he cooed.

But Lando was fidgeting, squirming in his seat. "Sweetheart, hurry up and pick something," Oscar called.

"One second," she called back, waving them both off without a care in the world.

She didn't know that Oscar had to climb on top of Lando, pinning him to the bed. Lando squirmed beneath him, seemingly enjoying it. "Stop," Oscar commanded and Lando stilled.

His lips, so sharp and so deadly, were so close to his neck. Lando tipped his head to the side, giving him more access.

He'd never tasted werewolf before. Would it be different to human? His teeth were so close to the skin, close enough to pierce. He touched, teeth grazing him, but Oscar pulled back. No, he couldn't. Not now.

"You're killing me, Lan," he mumbled and pressed his face against his shoulder.

Lando bucked his hips up. Well, as much as he could with Oscar pinning him. It was the smallest bit of satisfaction, but it was enough.

But then she turned around. "Oh," she said as she pulled her shirt down over her chest. "What's... what're we doing, guys?" She asked as she sat down beside them on the bed.

Immediately, Lando was reaching for her. His hand touched her hip before Oscar pulled him back. "C'mon," he said, his grip on Lando so damn tight. "Tell her what's going on."

When you looked at the two of them, it came as something rather unexpected, that Oscar was the one taking charge. But Lando was loving. He was loving it. He grinned as he wrapped his legs around Oscar and tucked his head against his neck. An act, one of innocence.

Oscar simply rolled his eyes. "You know how he was... emotional the other day?" He asked and she nodded. "Well, after the emotions comes the arousal," he explained.

Her eyes went wide. "A horny phase?" She asked quietly, fiddling with her fingers in her lap.

Lando giggled. It was that shrieking giggle she'd heard so many times growing up. But it was so damn unexpected, hearing it then, it that... setting. He reached his hand out again and, this time, Oscar let him.

At first, it was sweet, the way he kissed every single one of her fingers. But then he was nosing at her wrist before attempting to pull her into the two of them.

Oscar rolled away, but he kept one leg over Lando, keeping him from jumping at her. But Lando still lunged. He tried to dart towards her, nearly knocking his head into hers. He would have, too, probably would have knocked them both out if it wasn't for the way Oscar was holding him.

"No, no," she said as she settled on top of him as best she could with Oscar on the other side. "Let him go, I wanna see what he does."

"No way," Oscar answered instantly. But, the moment she pushed him, he rolled away, willingly. "What am I gonna do with the two of you?" He mumbled, his smile incredibly fond for the situation.

But neither of them cared as they sank into each other.

Taglist: @biancathecool

@rewmuslupin

@prettiest-at-the-party

@hellowgoodbye

@minseok-smaus

@formulaal

@darleneslane

@hiireadstuff

@urfavnoirette

@goldenharrysworld

@andydrysdalerogers

@llando4norris

@evlkking

@lilymurphy03

@hollie911

@customsbyjcg-blog

@honethatty12

@nikfigueiredo

@not-nyasa

@nurse-sainz

Series taglist (CLOSED): @cmleitora

@booksandflowrs

@evie-119

@annispamz

@neilakk

@ginsengi

@lighttsoutlewis

@charleslecler

@eviethetheatrefreak

@rbv3rstappen

@vicurious28

@val-writes

@lovecarsgoingvroom

@minmira95

@sophia12345678

@forza-dolce

@lindsayjoy444 (can you let me know if you've been tagged pls? Tumblr says you haven't)

@eclipedcherry (can you let me know if you've been tagged pls? Tumblr says you haven't)

@ophleiahome (can you let me know if you've been tagged pls? Tumblr says you haven't)

@cassielikereading (can you let me know if you've been tagged pls? Tumblr says you haven't)

@styl1shl1v (can you let me know if you've been tagged pls? Tumblr says you haven't)

@ln4norizz (can you let me know if you've been tagged pls? Tumblr says you haven't)

[anim-ttrpgs]

I recently ran an oneshot for my friends in Eureka.

It was a lot of fun and went mostly smoothly! The charakter creation was very easy. It still took more time than I expected, but that was simply because the players needed it to decide on which traits etc. to pick.

The central resolution mechanic with 2d6 is of course tried and true (I assume. Never played one of the many other 2d6 games.) but especially the Eureka system felt really good.

I think I read in a recent post of your's, that you are overhauling the chapter on combat. That seems very important to me. Even though I read the whole book once before running the game, I had immense problems finding out how small details of the combat worked during play. The musings on game design (eg, "yes, the combat is deadly, thats on purpose heres why" and such) where really enlightening to read, but got in the way when searching for concrete stats.

I will run the same oneshot again for different friends. The game seems really promising to me.

My mystery took place on a single in game evening, and none of the players were monsters. Having therefore only scratched at the surface of Eureka, I am looking forward to running it more.

Woo! We LOVE hearing about this kinda stuff!

And yeah everything about how the combat-related rules are structured is getting overhauled. All of that was written like 2 years ago when I was a slightly worse game designer and MUCH worse at writing coherent paragraphs and hasn’t been touched since until now. Instead of being split across like four paragraphs (what was I thinking), there will be just two chapters on it: “Instruments of Violence”, which is mostly just a giant list of references for the stats and special rules of weapons and armor, and “Dangerous Situations”, which covers every rule related to how your investigators can get killed. Some of these clean-ups are already available in the latest patreon release, and the rest are coming soon to both patreon and the itchio beta.

Combat is a very rare thing in Eureka, but when it does come up, we want it to be tight and granular, but without wasting the players’ time, which I think we’ve done pretty well at.

Like the book says, combat is deadly and there’s a reason why: so it doesn’t waste the players’ time.

This is a twofold problem to solve. The first layer of it, we solved by making sure the numbers are low. Most weapons can take a character down in 2 to 3 hits, so a single instance of two guys smacking each other will never take too many rounds.

Secondly, well, combat is dangerous and deadly, and if the PCs approach it without a plan, they’re gonna die, or at least get their asses kicked fast. Otherwise, well, I consider that a waste of the players’ time. If it was predetermined that the PCs would win otherwise the story can’t continue, well, what did we roll all those die, look up all those stats, and track all that HP for? Why didn’t we just describe the PCs winning and move on? Combat matters because it can change the outcome of the adventure, and if it can’t change the outcome, why are you rolling dice? Of course with death being so possible, to keep it fun, we gotta include lots of “tools” like cover, positioning, different weapons, special melee attacks, etc. that the PCs can use cleverly to give themselves an edge, and *earn* their survival.

Oh and also yeah can’t wait to hear what you think about the monsters. Funny thing about that, everyone who has read the rulebook knows that monsters and other supernatural creatures are supposed to be really rare, like one supernatural person for every 3,000,000 normal people kinda rare, but, monsters are super cool and fun to play, and are one of the big draws of the system, so we were kinda worried that that rarity wouldn’t come through in play, everyone would just be monsters. We considered setting a limit on how many monsters can be in a party? But quickly decided against it, because then players would have to compete for the limited monster slots, and people might even feel like if they’re not filling in that slot every single adventure, they’re missing an opportunity, and so every party would max out their monster limit every time and there’d, again, be way too many monsters.

In practice, though, most parties in Eureka seem to be comprised of all normal people, or all normal people and 1 monster at most, even without the limit. And I suspect this is both because monsters are kinda difficult to play despite their immense power, and, just to brag, because we made the normal PCs fun has hell to play too. :)

[hikarimiyanaga]

Her biggest regret

Warnings : Cheating. Angst.

A one-shot I needed to get out of myself as I try to navigate my life-work-games balance. Lmao. Chapter 4 of the Queen's Bride should be released within the month.

You freeze as you see them kiss. The wind in your lungs taken away by the sight.

You knew it.

You knew from the way she looked at him. From the way she spoke of him. The way she touched his arm.

Because all the things she did to him were once yours.

She used to look at you like you make the sun go up.

She used to speak like you were the only thing that mattered besides her children.

She used to touch you every night and revere you.

You let out a strangled noise and they both look at you.

You step inside and get your bracelet. What once held her promise of forever. But now it just burned you. Burned your heart.

"I'm giving this back." You say as you take it off your wrist and you see pain cross her eyes. "My apologies on disturbing you, Your grace." You quickly slip away after that. You run and run as you get to your tent. So much so that you don't hear her call your name. You don't hear her reject Jon's touch as she watched you run. You don't hear her anguish scream as she held the bracelet that once promised what you wanted.

-

You spent your days training. This was your life. This should just be it. You shouldn't have fallen for her. For the queen that you served. But here you are anyways.

You pant as Grey Worm looks at something behind you with silent anger in his eyes. He's always been a big brother to you. Always there and always guiding. There was a reason you are the only woman in the unsullied. Too strong to become a slave so you became a soldier instead.

You don't dare look behind for you knew whom his silent anger is for. You can feel it though. Her burning stare. You cover his eyes.

"Stop looking at her like that. You won't be marching in front if everyone thinks you want to kill her." You whisper then drink water.

"But she-"

"No buts, Grey Worm. She's still our queen." You can see the defeat in his eyes. The gratitude winning over the want to protect you.

"Go run. So she can't see you. That is the one thing I will refuse her of." You chuckle at the vindication in his voice.

"Thank you." You say then you slip away from his presence.

-

You've been avoiding her.

Daenerys could tell. What once was your spot was always given to different people each day.

What once was your voice greeting her as she checked on her army was always replaced with Grey Worm's.

And she knew of it. But there was nothing she can do. She betrayed you. She didn't keep her promise.

She stared at the bracelet she gave you. The one you gave back to her.

She can still see it, the pain in your eyes. The unshed tears as you took it off. The way you always ran away from her whenever she wanted to find you.

She can't help the sob that escaped her as she held it.

She wished she could take it back.

She wished she never felt attracted to him. Because that once fleeting attraction only made it worse when she saw the hurt in your eyes.

"Your grace." Jon calls out as he slips inside her office. The one thing that you always did whenever it was this time of the day. She longed to see you do it again. To come get her whenever it got too late. To bring her food once you knew that she skipped dinner in order to work more.

"You should eat, your grace." Jon further opens the door and she sees the servants he brought with him.

"Do not let them in." She says and the dothraki who was stationed to her quickly made a cross with their spears as to not let the servants in. And she marveled at how you always did that even if she never said it. How you were so attuned to what she wanted that even if she never voices them out, you always just know and you always do it. "Lord Commander. This is my office. No servant is allowed to enter here even if you came with good intentions."

"My apologies. Then I can-"

"No. I will get out of here myself. I do not trust your servants to not poison me." And it seemed paranoid but she had too many assassination attempts made by so-called servants to not consider such thing.

"My apologies again. Then I will leave you to it." She watches as the dothraki close the door and go back to their original position.

'What a stark difference.' She thinks to herself. 'She never once did that. Not even made others help her when she always brought me food.' And she also remembered the bandages on your hands as you held the food. And the confession from Grey Worm that you learned how to cook just so you can give her food when she overworked herself.

"I'm such an idiot." She cried once again as she gently held the bracelet.

-

It was a silent night, you realize as you got stationed in front of her chambers. Grey Worm figured that it's been two months since then and you also insisted on the position. Besides, you were only here as she slept, so you figured that you won't even see her.

"Y/N." You flinch as you hear Missandei.

"My lady." You call out and she slaps your arm.

"I thought I told you to stop calling me that already."

"You did but-"

"No buts." You groan as you silently curse your brother. What a loudmouth.

"My apologies then. Missandei." She grins then takes your arm.

"Come."

"What! But my station."

"I can cover, Y/N." You glare at your comrade as Missandei pulls you to another room.

"Grey Worm might be my brother but he can get jealous too, you know?" You speak as Missandei stripped you of your uniform.

"Shut it." You chuckle as she gets annoyed.

"What are you trying-" You stop as she shoves some clothes onto you.

"Wear those."

"What-"

"Wear them." That was the final thing she says as she slips out of the room.

You look at the trousers and pants. It was a fancy version of what you usually wore.

'What could it be for?' You think but you wear them anyways. You know how Missandei can be if she isn't obeyed. Besides, you just know that Grey Worm will give you spartan training if you even thought about disobeying your essentially sister-in-law.

-

You arrive at her office and look at the basket and jar of wine in your hands.

Apparently, Daenerys have been missing all her meals for the past few days. Only opting for the bread to munch on as she toured and saw progress in her plans.

"She's punishing herself." Missandei says to you as she drags you. "Her guard always say that she cries at least once while she held your bracelet."

"It's not my bracelet anymore." You say with such pain in your voice that Missandei hugs you.

"It's yours. Even if you don't want it to be anymore." You sob into her shoulder as she comforts you. It's been months but you still haven't moved on. You never will, you knew that. Your fragile and broken heart will always be hers even if her heart wasn't yours anymore. "Just bring dinner to her, please. How will any of us see her ascend to her throne if she starves herself in the process?"

And so here you are. A bundle of nerves, just anxious.

"Get in, give her food then get out. Easy enough, right? It should be! Damn it!"

"Just get in." You look at Tyrion and frown.

"Even you?"

"I know what she did is unforgivable but you should-"

"I know what lies beyond. I know their atrocities." You say in resolution and open the door. The two dothrakis on her station sees you and slips out of the office as Daenerys continues working.

"Missandei? Can you just give me a glass of wine? One that can fi-"

"You should eat properly." You speak and you see as her hand stops writing. As she slowly looks at you. You smile sadly at her as you walk up to her desk. "Here." You clear her desk of her documents, bringing them over to the table in her office then bring out the contents of your basket. The ones you cooked with your own hands. She silently watches as you do all these. You don't forget to give her a glass of wine then smile at her. "Eat."

She looks at the food and wine then she tears up. Gods, how she missed this. How she missed you.

"Is this a dream?" You can hear the yearning in her voice for this to be her reality. And you know it is, the hurt and pain in your heart right now is the proof.

"It's not." You say as you pour yourself a glass of wine. You never liked the thing, always sobering through celebrations and such. And so, dream you will never drink this, you and her know that so you drink the glass in one go. You grunt as you put the glass down. You never liked it's effects before until now. The alcohol in you seemingly giving you courage to face her. "It really isn't. So eat, please." Daenerys nods and begins to help herself to the food. She watches as you pour yourself another glass.

"Do you-" She tries to stop you but you didn't want to remember this night. You didn't want this pain anymore.

-

You were drunk by the time Daenerys finishes her food. The entire jug of wine was almost emptied by you if she didn't stop you by your sixth glass.

"You know." You begin as you felt yourself get dizzy. "I knew there was a reason why I don't like wine. My self-control is slipping out of me. I can feel it." You giggle and laugh.

"Y/N-"

"And you! The love of my life!" You smile as you look at her and Daenerys felt like she travelled to the past where you looked at her like she was a goddess walking on the ground.

"Such a tragedy. I knew you would find someone better. I knew it in my head but I just- I still gambled my heart." You sigh wistfully as the pain squeezed her heart. "And I never got it back." She stares at you as you walk to her.

"Tell me, your grace." She felt another squeeze at the unfamiliar address. You stopped calling her that when the two of you made love for the first time.

"Was it fun?" She froze at that. "Was it good when you kissed him? Or when you fucked him?" You refuse to believe that any sane man would be able to resist her charm. Hell, even you couldn't resist it.

"Did it feel good when you broke my heart?" You couldn't stop the tears now as they flowed freely onto her lap. She looks as you give her a defeated smile. The same one she always sees when you decide to sacrifice yourself for a comrade, but this time, combined with your tears, was more painful than every other defeated smile you ever gave. Because after those defeated smiles. After the battle is over, you always walk over to her and give her the brightest grin and the most gentle kiss. But now, she knows she won't have that anymore. "Did you laugh when you heard it shatter? Was it- was it worth it?" You sob as you kneel. You can't think anymore. If you were sober, none of this would be spoken to her. None of this would ever known to anyone. You are an unsullied. Bottling your feelings and not showing any emotions was what you were trained for. But alcohol brought everything out. Your every self-deprecating thought, every pain and every sorrow. Because as much as you were known for your smile, no one knows how you looked when you are in grief. No one until Daenerys came. She can only watch as you sobbed until you fall asleep. She can only shed silent tears as she whispered her apologies to you.

-

You wake with a massive headache. One that makes you groan as you sit on the familiar yet unfamiliar bed. You haven't been here in a while.

"Fuck. I'm never drinking alcohol again." You grunt as the pain hits you again.

"That would be for the best." You freeze as you hear her voice. You hear her shuffle around then a cup appears in your vision. "Drink up. The maester said this would help with the pain." You shakily accepts the cup and drink it one go. The pain now concentrated at your tounge as the hot tea travels through your body. You look at her face and you can't help but voice out the first word that gets in your head.

"Dilaw." Daenerys tilts her head and you blush as you facepalm for yourself.

"Di- what?" She asks and you cover your face.

"Literally, it means yellow. But another meaning means happiness. Or source of it." Daenerys blushes as she hears your explanation. In any other day, you would grin then kiss and hug her but instead pain grips your heart instead. "I should go." You stand and avoid touching her. "Thank you for letting me sleep here. Farewell, your grace." Daenerys stops you before you can even open the door.

"I'm sorry." She says as tears flow through her face. "I'm so sorry. I took you for granted. I took everything we ever had for granted. But please, Y/N. Please give me another chance. Give me the chance to make everything right. Give me the chance to pick up your heart's broken pieces. Give me the chance to make it whole again."

"Your grace." The title makes her grip tighter on your wrist. "I have no more right. No more fight. And no more courage in me. You have taken all of those away." You shake as you finally let everything out. "You have always owned the heart you broke with your own hands. I never got it back."

"Then let me earn your trust again. Let me by your side again. I'm begging you, Y/N. Without you, everything feels wrong. Everything I'm fighting for felt empty. Every promise and plans I make felt futile."

"I can't. Not yet, at least. Please give me more time. More moments to myself. Then maybe, I can ease myself into your side again."

"Then I'll wait for that day." She finally lets go and you look at her. Look at her tear-stricken and wipe her tears away.

"Thank you, Dany." The familiar address gives her hope in her heart even as you slip away from her room.

You don't run anymore. You walk as you go outside the castle.

You knew that eventually, the inevitable will happen. That you will be hers again. Because your heart that you always protected was now guarded and owned by a dragon.

-

PS.

I will hit myself if I don't get chapter 4 out. I swear.

I need more hours in the day, to be honest. I hate working 9 am to 6 pm 😭😭.

[mphoenix-7]

Bitter Allies [Soap x Reader]

Chapter 12: The Cabin: Day 5 (pt. 3)

Summary: Soap thinks that taking a walk through the woods is just what you need to help you get over your new fear. Your walk isn’t as pleasant as you hope it’ll be.

Word Count: 5,176

Warnings: NSFW, 18+, swearing, angst, strong language, panic attack, arguing

A/N: I didn’t know if this would be ready or not to be posted on time, but I managed to get it done! Please enjoy loves!!

Masterlist | <- Previous | Next ->

Bitter Allies • Part 12

This was such a bad idea. Why the hell did you agree to this? The hike was most certainly not helping you overcome your anxieties; it was making them worse. You thought being cornered in the outhouse and standing in the open field was bad, but try walking through thick foliage where you can’t see your surroundings. Your poor heart is doing double-time in your chest, pounding so hard it feels like it might burst.

Soap, oblivious to your mounting dread, is making so much noise as he plows through the brush that you can’t even listen for any potential threats. Every rustle of leaves and snap of twigs sends a jolt of panic through you. The fear in the pit of your stomach is growing stronger with each step. The oppressive canopy above blocks out most of the sunlight, not that it would help to ease your nerves if it didn’t. However, it does make it feel as though the forest is closing in on you, suffocating you with its dense undergrowth and unseen dangers.

About five to ten minutes into the hike, you desperately want to turn back. By now you’ve gone at least a mile, but the feeling is the same. Nothing has happened yet—you haven’t even run into any animals—but that doesn’t help to quell the anxiety flooding your system. It feels like you’re just waiting for something terrible to happen. Just waiting for another bear to catch your scent and come after you.

Like it had that morning you went out by yourself…

A shiver runs along your spine as you recall the feeling of being chased. The heavy, thudding footsteps behind you, the growl that sent you sprinting for your life. That had been your warning, your sign of the dangers waiting in the woods, and you hadn’t listened. Maybe the fear gripping you now was also a warning, screaming at you to head back before it was too late. Your hands tremble slightly, and you clench them into fists to stop them from shaking.

“Holding up back there States?”

You glance up, your teeth releasing their hold on your lip as you meet Soap’s eyes. He’s been walking ahead of you this entire time, leading the way and stomping down the brush for you. You’ve been mostly silent since you left the cabin. The only communication you’ve had since you left are moments like this where he’s just checking to make sure you’re still following him and not completely breaking down.

“Yep, just peachy.” You tell him, the answer seeming to be enough to satisfy him for the next few minutes. He turns forward again and keeps on going.

As you continue trudging through the forest, your mind races with what-ifs. What if a bear does come? What if you can’t handle it? What if this hike is just a terrible mistake? You should just go back now… give up and-

No.

You were not going to just give up and quit. That stubborn, won’t quit attitude had gotten you through a lot during your time in the military. It was the very thing that kept you in the Task Force despite how much of an ass Soap was.

You can do this… you can push through it.

“Hey Soap,” you start, hoping that talking might help distract you. The only problem is, you don’t know exactly what to talk about. “Uh… do you know where we’re going?” You settle on.

“Course.” Soap answers easily, not even so much as glancing over his shoulder at you. “I know of a few bear caves around here that we can-“

“Are you fucking serious?!” You shout at him, stopping immediately in your tracks. The thought of walking to the den of a bear, practically handing yourself over on a silver platter, is enough to make you want to ditch Soap and bolt. He can’t be serious.

At your outburst, Soap instantly turns around, his eyes locking onto yours. He sees the panic glazing over your eyes and immediately raises his hands in a gesture of surrender, his expression shifting from confusion to concern in a heartbeat.

“I’m kidding! Just joking! Fucking hell, States. I don’t know of any bear caves around here.” Soap's quickly says, a hint of defensiveness in his tone.

“Don’t fucking do that! My God, you’re going to give me a fucking heart attack!” You shout, your voice shaking with a mix of fear and anger, fists clenched at your sides. You were stressed enough as it was, you didn’t need him saying shit that was only going to add to that stress.

Soap gives you an exasperated look, his mouth hanging open just a bit. “Fuck’s sake! It was a joke! Lighten up!” He snaps back, his initial confusion giving way to irritation.

“It’s not funny!” You retort, your own anger only growing the more defensive he gets.

“Oh come on. Anyone else would have taken that as a joke.” Soap's tone turns sharper, his frustration evident as he glares at you.

You’re steaming now, fists clenched at your sides. The fear that had been bubbling under the surface is now mixed with a growing anger. Your heart is pounding, not just from the anxiety of being out in the woods, but from the frustration of dealing with Soap’s insensitivity. You already felt vulnerable and on edge, you don’t want to have to deal with Soap being a total ass as well.

“Really? Forgive me for not wanting to laugh about walking into the home of the animal that almost took my life. I’m already freaking out about seeing one out here, so what makes you think I’d find that funny? This isn’t a joke to me, and I don’t want to joke about it.”

Soap rolls his eyes right back at you. “We haven’t even seen anything yet. You’re working yourself up over nothing.“

“Nothing?” You snap back. “It’s not nothing to me!”

“Well, it needs to be,” Soap retorts, his tone firm. “The 141 doesn’t get hung up over stuff like this.”

You feel another surge of anger rush through you at his words. “Easy for you to say! You weren’t the one with a bear practically on top of you, trying to claw and bite your face off.”

“And you think I haven’t faced things just as bad, if not worse?” Soap counters, stepping closer and invading your space. “I can tell you this, States. I have faced much worse than something like a bear! If you’re this freaked out over a little joke, maybe you should reconsider if you’re cut out for the military.”

His words cut deep, reopening old wounds. From the beginning, Soap has always been trying to get you kicked off the Task Force. You’ve lost count of how many times he’s told you that you should quit. Hell, he’d even told Price to get rid of you while you were in the room with him.

You stare at him for a long moment, disbelief mingling with hurt. “Is making me quit all you ever think about?”

Soap’s expression hardens. “Maybe I wouldn’t if you didn’t keep proving to me that you should.”

You bite your cheek harshly. “If my fear of a bear that nearly killed me is a reason enough that I should quit, then what about your fear of thunder? Shouldn’t freaking out over that mean you should quit too?”

Your words are met with a confused expression from Soap. It’s like he doesn’t remember having a full blown panic attack the day it stormed.

“What?” He finally says after a moment of not being able to figure out where you got that idea from. “The fuck you talking about? I don’t have a fear of thunder.”

You roll your eyes at him and cross your arms over your chest. “What do you mean? Yes you do. You don’t remember that big storm that rolled in like the first or second day we were here? It was thundering so loudly, and you had an episode. How can you not remember that?”

Soap is silent another moment while he thinks back. He opens his mouth to reply, but then shuts it, his face shifting as he figures out what you were referring to. However to you, it looks like he realized his argument was flawed and is now trying to come up with some kind of excuse. He couldn’t tell you to get over his irrational fear if he had an irrational fear himself.

“I-I’m not scared of thunder. That’s not what I was…” He trails off, further adding to your suspicion.

“Really? If you’re not scared of thunder, then why the hell were you freaking out like that?”

Soap is silent for a moment, his eyes distant. You think for a moment he’s trying really hard to come up with an excuse, but when you really look, his eyes look slightly glazed over and there’s a pinch of worry between his brow. It’s almost like he’s actively reliving something. His thoughts are racing, though with what, you aren’t sure. The silence stretches on and almost begins to get uncomfortable. You’re about to say something, but Soap finally speaks up.

“It wasn’t the thunder…” He finally says, his voice tight. “Just... let it go, alright?”

You scoff at him. “Let it go? So you can give me shit about being scared of a bear, but you can have some irrational fear yourself, and it’s just fine? You’re allowed to be scared and have stuff freak you out but I can’t?”

Soap instantly snaps back, his voice firm and defensive. You’ve hit a sore spot.

“What happened that night it stormed was different! Alright!? What happened to me is nothing like what happened to you and that bear. I actually got fucking hurt! All that bear did was fucking growl at you and threaten you, I took fucking glass to the face.”

He points at his face, specifically more towards his chin than any other area. Your glare dips down to where he’s pointing, naturally locking on to the now faded, but still visible scar that runs along his chin.

You follow the thick, long scar that runs in a jagged horizontal line below his lip. It was his most noticeable scar and one that you’d always been curious as to how he got it. Apparently there was quite the story to go along with it. You always imaged he’d got it from some kind of explosion to the face, though he didn’t sport any burn scars that would support that theory. It was far too complex to be from a knife, but a shard of glass made perfect sense.

He must have been tortured. Maybe at some point in his career, he’d been a POW and gotten tortured for information. You did not put it past the enemy to go to any means necessary to get information. Using broken glass off the ground to slice someone up for military secrets was quite a common tactic too. Soap’s files didn’t say anything about him ever being taken hostage though. Then again, it could have been something that had been redacted. A lot of the things in his files regarding missions were heavily redacted.

You don’t focus too heavily on his comment about the broken glass though. That was something you could table for a little later. Right now you’re far too upset that he’s completely dismissing your own fears just because he’s seen worse.

“So would my fear be more valid then if I had gotten hurt? Almost getting hurt isn’t enough to justify having a fear of something? Whatever the fuck happened to you, it would have been absolutely nothing if your precious face hadn’t gotten cut up?”

Soap tenses up, his voice dropping a few octaves and taking on a dangerous drawl. His entire body goes rigid, and his fists clench as his sides. “States, you have no fucking clue what you’re talking about, so I suggest you shut the hell up.”

He’s probably right. You have no idea the kind of things he’s been through, so you shouldn’t be making assumptions without knowing the full story. But you’re so angry with him right now that you can’t bring yourself to care.

“And you have no idea how I feel, so you can shut up too!” You shout back at him, and his eyes ignite with anger. You can practically see the spark before it flares up, and you’re sure he can see the same thing happening in yours.

His inhales sharply through his mouth prepared to absolutely lay into you, but before he can, you notice his eyes flicker away from yours for a moment. They quickly snap back to you, but then look away once again, his mouth slowly closing. At first, you don't think much of it, but then the hairs on the back of your neck begin to stand up. Your body senses danger before your mind can process it.

The anger drains from you in an instant, replaced by a growing unease as you try to understand why Soap isn’t looking at you anymore and why you suddenly feel so on edge. Then Soap says the most panic inducing words, his voice dropping to an unnaturally calm level after the shouting he’d been doing not a second prior.

“States, listen to me, do not panic.“

You feel yourself instantly freeze. Usually when someone tells you not to panic it’s because there’s a reason you should be. The nagging feeling of danger intensifies, your hands almost feeling numb from the rush of sudden adrenaline.

“What? Why?” You ask softly, mouth quickly going dry.

“Don’t turn around, don’t freak out.” He tells you carefully, eyes staying mostly locked off somewhere behind you now. “Just walk over to me, lass.”

“Is it a bear?” You ask bluntly, feeling your whole back tense up. You want so so badly for him to say no. You wouldn’t care if he was joking. You wouldn’t even care if it was any other animal, just not a bear. Not right now.

“Yes, it is. Just stay calm.” He reaches out to grab your arm, but you move it away from him, hugging it to your chest instead.

“No… no please…” Tears start to blur your vision. “Tell me you’re joking. Please. This is a joke, right?” You feel yourself starting to shake. You so desperately want him to be kidding. “I swear to God if there isn’t a bear, I’m going to kill you.”

“I swear to you, I’m being serious, lass.” He insists.

You want to call his bluff, convinced for a moment that he's just being an asshole and there really isn't a bear. But then you hear it—the sound of something big moving slowly and deliberately. Each step is measured and heavy, rustling the foliage on the forest floor. You hear a snorting sound, similar to the one that the bear at the lake had made as it sniffed the air. Your heart skips a beat as the reality sinks in: there really is something behind you.

You feel the panic set in, your body simultaneously hot and cold. Adrenaline surges through your veins, making your hands both numb and hypersensitive. Your heart pounds in your chest, and you can hear the blood as it rushes through your ears. Your breathing starts to quicken, shallow bursts as your mind races. Every muscle in your body tenses, poised for action, wanting to bolt and create distance between you and the thing behind you, but also frozen in fear.

“States…” Soap says, almost in warning. He’s trying to watch you while also trying to keep an eye on the animal behind you. “Please, just walk over to me.”

You want to do as he says, but first you just need to see for yourself. You need to know there really is something behind you.

“Don’t.” Soap warns, almost like he knows exactly what you’re thinking.

You don’t listen though. Gathering any remnants of courage you had left, you take a deep breath and start to slowly peak over your shoulder. And there, a few feet away, is a black bear. You don’t give yourself proper time to really look at it. The second your peripheral vision spots it, your terrified gaze snaps back to Soap.

Your eyes lock onto Soap's, breathing picking up now that it’s been confirmed. You want to scream and cry out, but you’re too scared to even do that. “Soap…” You sob, making him just reach out for you instead of continuing to wait for you to come to him.

He grabs ahold of your arm firmly, gently and slowly pulling you close to him. “Shh, it’s alright, come here.” He says as he moves an arm to wrap around you. It’s surprisingly comforting to feel him holding you. Your bickering, all the things that were said, are momentarily forgotten.

“Just stay clam, it’s gonna be ok.” He mutters to you, and you nod, more out of instinct than understanding. You’re a bit more focused on listening for the bear than you are to Soap’s words.

You try to sneak another look at the animal, only really wanting a quick glance, but Soap takes that opportunity to turn you fully so that you’re facing it. His hands settle on your hips to keep you in place, and your breath hitches as your eyes land on the bear. On instinct, you press back firmly into Soap, his chest acting as a solid wall to keep your from moving any further.

“I’m right here.” Soap reminds you, whispering softly into your ear. “Not gonna let anything happen to you.” He promises, thumbs brushing softly against your hips, though you can hardly focus on that right now. Still, his presence alone is grounding. Feeling him behind you, him holding you tightly, it reminds you that you’re not alone.

Facing the bear now, you can finally take in the scene before you. The bear is a few yards away, its black fur glistening in the dappled sunlight filtering through the trees. It’s a smaller bear, not as large as the one that attacked you, but the sight of it still sends a jolt of fear through you. Its eyes are fixed on you, nostrils flaring as it sniffs the air. The memory of the bear in the lake doing the same thing before it approached you flashes through your mind.

Your heart pounds faster, and you feel your breathing stutter. For a moment, you're back there, alone and vulnerable, with the bear bearing down on you. Stalking towards you, about to strike.

Then you feel Soap give your hips a squeeze, and his voice cuts through the haze of fear. “It’s okay, States. It’s just passing by. It’s more scared of us. It doesn’t want anything to do with us.”

His voice brings you back to the present, and you shake your head a bit to focus on what’s happening right now. “Look at it,” he whispers softly in your ear. “It’s just curious. It’s not here to hurt us. Not all bears are aggressive.”

The bear takes a tentative step forward, then pauses, its ears twitching. You tense the second it moves, and Soap’s arm around you tightens slightly, a subtle reassurance. “Stay calm. It’s going to move on. Just keep breathing.”

The bear snorts, shaking its head before taking another step. You can tell that its muscles are tense under its fur. It takes a few more steps, its eyes never leaving yours as it slowly moves. A deep growl rumbles in its chest, and you are tempted to take a step back, but you can’t with Soap standing directly behind you.

“Don’t back away.” He tells you gently, able to feel the muscles in your back twitch against his chest. “If it starts to come this way, wave your arms above your head and shout at it. Just like I showed you.”

“I don’t think I can.” You whisper back to him. Your mouth is so dry, and it feels like your throat has completely sealed itself off. Even talking was a challenge, and your voice already sounded weaker and slightly hoarse.

“You can, States. You can do this.” He encourages you.

The bear takes a few more steps, still just trying to move perpendicularly past you, but it stops once more to huff softly. When you don’t react to it, it takes a small steps towards you, its head lowered cautiously, but eyes still fixed on you.

“It’s not being aggressive, it’s just curious. Just tell it to go away. Nice and firm.” Soap whispers to you.

You take a deep breath, trying to gather any bit bravery you had. “Go away.” You say, voice a bit wobbly, but still managing to be firm.

The bear hesitates, lifting its head a bit as you speak to it. Its glossy eyes keep locked on you, and it starts to sniff the air once more. Speaking just seemed to make it more curious. It takes another step forward, and you feel Soap’s grip tighten again.

“Alright, it’s getting too curious now. Gotten show it you’re not something to mess with. Get loud now, wave your arms and yell. Make yourself big.” Soap instructs, his voice steady. He’s not panicked at all, or at least he’s not showing it. “Do it now, States. Nice and loud.”

You take a deep breath, trying your best to push down all the anxiety eating away at your courage. Drawing on every ounce of strength you can muster, you raise your arms above your head and yell.

“Ahh!! Go away! Get out of here!”

The bear stops, taken aback by your sudden outburst. It jolts back, retreating a few feet away before stopping and looking back at you. Its ears are standing straight up, its eyes widen in surprise. You can see its hesitation, its uncertainty.

“Good, again!” Soap encourages softly from behind you.

“Go! Get out of here! Go away!” You shout again, making it jump again. This time, it turns and bolts, clearly not wanting to mess with you.

You watch as it crashes through the foliage, moving quickly to get away from you and Soap. Your arms stay raised while you watch it run off, only becoming heavy and dropping once the sounds of the leaves rustling fade into the distance. Your eyes stayed locked on the path it took, froze in shock for few seconds.

When it finally registers that it’s gone, you can feel your entire body become suddenly exhausted. You let out all the air in your lungs and sink back. You probably would have fallen to the ground if Soap hadn’t been behind you. He instantly wraps his arms around you, holding you tightly to him.

“Oh fuck...” You curse, making Soap laugh. “It-It’s gone, right?” You ask hesitantly. It was like your brain hadn’t fully processed what happened yet.

“Yes, it’s gone. You did it, States! It’s not gonna be coming back, you scared it.” He chuckles, his tone becoming light and filled with genuine joy. It felt like he was proud of you, excited that you’d been able to scare the animal off.

“Holy shit...” You curse again, still trying to wrap your head around it. And when it finally sinks in, you feel a rush of relief wash over you. Your body starts to tremble, not from fear, but from the overwhelming realization that you did it. You managed to scare off a bear. It’s a mix of pride, disbelief, and a strange sense of empowerment. You did it. You really did it.

“I did it...” You mutter, smiling as your shoulders behind to feel lighter.

“Hell yeah you did!” Soap laughs from behind you, giving you a squeeze. “You did fucking great! You just stood your ground against a bear!”

“Yeah! I… I….”

The intensity of the moment finally catches up to you. All the fear, the tension, and the adrenaline suddenly give way to a flood of emotions. You feel a lump form in your throat, and your vision blurs as tears well up in your eyes. The relief is so overwhelming, it’s like a weight has been lifted off your shoulders, and you can't hold back any longer.

You begin to cry, tears streaming down your face as you let out any remaining pent-up emotions. It’s relief, and stress, and joy, and shock, and pride. It feels good to let it all out, your body shaking as it releases everything through your tears.

Soap’s laughter quickly fades when he hears your sobs. He pauses for a second and then quickly turns you around to face him, concern etched across his face. “Hey, hey, what’s wrong? Why are you crying?” He asks, his voice soft and full of worry.

You try to speak, but it just comes out as a jumbled mess. The words catch in your throat, choked by the intensity of your emotions. You want to let him know you’re fine, but you just can’t get the words to come out. The more you struggle to speak, the more worried and confused he looks.

“Fucking hell, States, it’s okay, you’re okay,” Soap whispers, rubbing your arms soothingly. “You’re safe now. You did it. You faced your fear. The thing ran off.”

You nod at him, that being the only way you know how to communicate. Finally though, you manage to settle enough get a few words out. “I’m fin-e… j-just hap-py...” You choke out. “I-I feel b-better.”

Soap has to strain a bit to hear what you were saying, but he gathers just enough to make out what you said. It makes his shoulder relax and the worry lines in his face soften. He lets out a relieved sigh, hands dropping from your arms so they can run through his hair.

“Steaming Jesus. Thought you were going insane or something. Shite. I never know what it means when you start balling.”

You start to calm down, laughing a little at the poor man’s distress. Taking a few deep breaths, you steady your breathing and wipe at your eyes to dry them. “I mean I very well might be.” You giggle softly. “I’ve been hanging around you for five days, that would drive anyone insane.”

Soap scoffs at you, but there’s a smile on his face that he can’t hide. “You sound like Ghost.”

“Well, good to know it’s not just me who thinks that.”

“Oh shut your mouth.” Soap grumbles, giving you a light shove and making you laugh again. “That what I get for helping you? Should have just let the bear eat you if that’s the case.” He mutters, arms crossed over his chest as if he’s pouting at your teasing. “I am only kidding of course too, yeah?” He adds, making your laughter fade.

“Yeah, I know.” You sigh, feeling a little guilty now about earlier. Soap had always been the guy on the team to make jokes and lighten the mood when things got too serious. That’s all he’d been trying to do earlier, and you snapped at him for it.

In your defense, you had been horribly stressed out, but that didn’t give you permission to lash out at Soap. He’d only been trying to help you this whole time, both last night and this morning. Of course that didn’t excuse him from lashing out at you in return, but you could understand why he did. You would have done the same thing if you were him.

“Hey, I… I’m sorry for yelling at you earlier. When you made the joke about the bear caves. I was just really stressed out, and I feel a little bad now. I know you’re just trying to help and… well I appreciate it.”

Soap blinks at you in surprise. He looks shocked that you’re apologizing, though to be fair, normally you didn’t go around saying sorry to each other. That was something that only started happening recently.

“Oh, you know it’s… it’s whatever, really.” He stammers, clearly taken aback. “I shouldn’t have said the things I said either. So I’m sorry too.”

You smile at him, watching as he rubs at the back of his neck. You can feel your heart softening just a bit for him. “Thank you for that, Soap.”

Soap gives you an awkward smile back, nodding his head a bit. Neither of you are great with apologies. It feels unnatural for both of you, and it’s quickly starting to get a bit awkward.

“Well… Should we head back? Or did you want to go explore a bear cave?” You try to joke, which earns a laugh from Soap.

“I think I’ve had enough of bears for a good while, so I think I’ll pass.” He smirks, able to look back at you now. “But hey, if you wanna go though, by all means don’t let me hold you back.”

You giggle softly, shaking your head. “Nah, I’m alright. I think I’d rather just go back to the boring ol’cabin. I’m getting hungry anyway.”

“You hungry now?” He questions. “I packed us both a lunch since I didn’t know how long we’d be out here. And I know this really nice spot where we can stop and eat.” He says, which surprises you. Not that he’d packed a lunch—you were aware of that. What surprises you is that he’s suggesting you both go out and eat instead of going back.

“Really?” Ask before you can stop yourself. It makes Soap pause, his expression shifting just a bit.

“I mean unless you don’t want to. We can just head back if you’d rather do that.”

“No! No, I think eating out here would be fun. I haven’t been able to do too much exploring, and I could use a break from just hanging around the cabin all day.” You quickly say before he can change his mind. “Lead the way.”

Soap watches you for a moment, almost like he’s trying to figure out if you really wanted to go or not. He makes up his mind in a second and starts back the way you came. “Alright, follow me. We’re only about five minutes away at most.” He says, and you quickly rush to fall into step beside him.

A comfortable silence falls between you like it had before, though this time as you follow him, the tension and fear from earlier are gone. All your anxiety has seemingly melted away. The natural sounds of the forest no longer bother you, and even the thought of running into another bear isn’t as terrifying as it was when you first left. It’s a relief to be able to walk around without feeling the need to constantly be on alert. You just hope it stays that way.

[ohtobeleah]

Was It Over? // Jake Seresin

-> Chapter One: [The Diagnosis]

Summary: The last thing you ever expected was to be diagnosed with breast cancer. To make matters worse? You’d been separated from the love of your life for just shy of a year. How do you tell the love of your life you might be dying? It’s simple really— You don’t.

Warnings: Mentions of Cancer Diagnosis. Jake Seresin x F!reader. Separation. Marriage issues. Mentions of death.

Word Count: 2.1k

Author Note: I've put so much love, passion and time into this series. I'd love to hear all your theories and concepts as each chapter is released.

Series Masterlist | Main Masterlist

December 31st 

Jake Seresin tried his best to hide the wet tears that fell down his cheeks as he sat with his kids on the lounge of the home that he had tried his best to keep as tidy as he could. There was a lot of uncertainty, a lot of frustration, a lot of fear and unbelievable sadness that surrounded Jake and your three small children. The unknown was truly tragic, terrifying and treacherous, but Jake wasn’t about to let his kids see the way he so desperately wanted to cry. He didn't want his kids to know how truly broken he was. 

“What did mum get you for Christmas daddy?” Little Lenny asked cautiously, knowing the emotions were still raw for them all. He was just six years old but Lennox Seresin knew his life had changed forever. That something had been ripped from his heart never to be returned. 

Jake held the small present in the palm of his hand, the present he had yet to open. The present he wasn’t sure he wanted to. It felt like something he’d held before, the weight felt all too familiar. It haunted him the more he carried it around, held it in the palm of his hand and contemplated the inevitable. 

“I dunno buddy, you reckon I should open it?” Jake asked as he kissed his son's head. “S’not Christmas anymore.” The Naval Aviator had recently shaved his head, it had been the closest to a number one he’d ever had. It was in solidarity, union. A decision he made in the blink of an eye but one he did not regent or ever would. 

“We haven’t taken the tree down yet.” Lucy added her two cents into the conversation as she laid her head on her father’s thigh. “Mum would be upset if you didn’t open it dad.” Jake knew that much was true, you probably would be pretty bent out of shape if he never opened it. 

“Alright, I better open it then huh?” Jake shook the small perfectly wrapped box he could hold in the palm of his hand. He heard what sounded like a rock rattle inside. His heart nearly exploded inside his chest. 

Fuck….Jake knew what it was and he really didn’t want to open it. 

But before we get to that we need to go back a little. So settle in, grab your tissues and emotional support water bottle and hold on for dear life. Because this Christmas isn’t your average festive Christmas fic: No—this one’s something much more heartbreaking. 

***~***~***~***~***~***~

November: 2nd 

“I need you to take the kids for Christmas—“ It was the first thing Jake heard come through the phone as he held it up to his ear. It had been a few days since he’d last heard from you, not that you owed him daily check ins or regular updates, you owed him nothing, after all the two of you had been separated for just shy of a year now. January had been the start of his new beginning, Lieutenants Jake Hangman, soon to be divorced, couldn’t hack it as a husband, Seresin. The title was pretty long winded and riddled with self pity, but Jake wouldn’t ever let himself forget how much he’d let you down as a husband. As a father, as best friend. 

The two of you had been college lovers. The star crossed kind of lovers with Jake being the very definition of Mr Popularity and yourself being the well mannered and reserved library dweller. You’d only stumbled across each other's paths one day in the unlikely event that Jake needed to borrow an actual hard copy of a Douglas A Howard book on the Ottoman Empire. 

He ran right into you—and to this day had never stopped loving you. His Honey. 

“Are we not splitting it between my family and yours like we said?” Jake frowned as he stepped out of his truck in the car park on base. You could hear the familiar jingle of his car keys as he shut the door of that black F150 he loved so much behind himself. 

Your contact remained unchanged, it was simply Honeybee. That term of endearment that illuminated his entire phone screen never boded very well in Jake's favour when it came to his meaningless conquests. Hard Deck Badge Bunnies were a dime a dozen, but they were never you. Never the woman he longed for the most. Never the woman Jake let down more than enough times to count on two hands. 

They were never you, because you left him January seventh at approximately four thirty in the afternoon. Jake would never forget that moment, that unimaginable heartbreak of finally coming to the gut wrenching conclusion that you had a limit. Hearing your voice through the phone as he pulled into work made him remember that you were across the country with his three kids in tow. You weren’t his anymore, he’d loved and lost you and didn’t know how to fix what he��d broken. 

“I thought we were gonna—“ 

There wasn’t an easy way to explain to your ex husband how you were sitting in the doctor's office as you spoke to him looking at your last mammogram results. Aggressive Breast Cancer, Stage three A, triple positive grade three invasive doctoral carcinoma. Merry fucking Christmas. So, you interrupted him with a quick explanation, one so out of character and born out of pure panic to keep your newfound diagnosis of stage three breast cancer that needed to be treated as soon as possible before it could progress. 

“I’ve been invited on a friend's trip, we’re going—“ Jake pretends not to hear the slight pause you took in your explanation, he decided it was because you feel guilty for dumping the kids on him like this. He knows you're not a bad mum, that’s why the kids he loves so dearly and with all his heart spend more time with you in Rhode Island than they do with him in North Island. “To Banff, yeah they booked a few rooms in the Sunshine Village but it’s a no kids trip.” 

“You deserve it.” Jake doesn’t want to argue, it’s what ruined your marriage to begin with. The constant arguing back and forth over everything under the sun. But what Jake knew now that he didn’t back then was that over ninety percent of the time those arguments started because you were just begging him to love you the way you deserved. He’d never put you first a day in your marriage even though you’d selflessly followed him across the country to whatever posting, away from your family and friends, birthed his children, twins with heads just as big as his. You gave him love and support and thought he’d do the same in return. 

But the reciprocal love in the form of equality never came no matter how long you waited or gave Jake, the love of your life, your best friend, the father of your children, the benefit of the doubt. It was you who cooked and cleaned and took care of the kids. It was you who stayed home night after night wondering when Jake would be home. It was you who stayed up riddled with anxiety that his last mission would be just that. It was you who heard the rumours about your husband in every city or small town you moved to. That he was a lady killer, a smooth talking guy with a cock sure attitude. He was the prize at the end of any lucky ladies night. 

Except for you. But you never questioned your husband’s loyalty, never once asked or believed what everyone told you. That’s just who Jake was—a charismatic man with a heart of gold that was often overlooked. He was the best of the best and he’d stop at nothing to get where he wanted to go, to the very top. If Jake Seresin had to move a mountain to achieve his dream of becoming Commander of the Pacific Fleet then he was going to move that mountain. It was one of the reasons you’d fallen in love with his very closested dorky self. 

You just never expected him to drop that very mountain on top of you and bury you alive under the pressure of keeping three beautiful kids alive, working, making sure there was food on the table for breakfast, lunch and dinner. The endless hours of housework that went unnoticed or the constant stress of being the default parent while deployments passed and new assignments came around. 

Love sometimes isn’t enough, and Jake, despite the endless love you had for the man who made you a mother and a wife, wasn’t enough. He didn’t love you the way you loved him. Endlessly and without hesitation. Jake had always been your number one priority along with your kids, but you weren’t even on his list. 

Jake knew he messed up when you told him you were leaving, he begged you not to, begged you on his knees to stay, that’s he’d change for you, be a better man for you and the kids. That he would do better, be better, be the man you fell in love with. But it was too late. 

He wished he’d listened to you all the times that you had begged him to, so now? He didn’t want to argue, not with the woman he loved so dearly and missed so badly. 

“I’ll take the kids, no problem, just tell me when I need to be at the airport and I’ll meet you guys there.” 

You’d expected a fight, some sort of push back or argument to come from the other end of the phone call as you sat in your doctor's office with eyes trained heavily on your mammogram. But it never came and that made you sure that your ex husband had well and truly fallen out of love with you the way you wished you could with him. At least he cared enough before to argue, now? It was just passive stupidity. 

“Okay, will do.” You pressed your lips together in an effort to not blurt out that you had asked your doctor if you were going to die and she had told you that she couldn’t answer that. In your mind that was a yes, yes you were dying and you felt like you couldn’t tell the one man you’d ever loved that you were taking that one way ticket to the place he’d once told you he wished you’d go in one of your long winded arguments. Hell. “I’ll uh—I’ll get the kids organised and explain what’s going on and I’ll text you all the information, sound good?” 

“Sounds like a plan, Honeybee.” Jake had yet to kick that old habit. He cringed as the terms of endearment left his mouth and stilled in his tracks. “All good on my end.” His attempt to stumble awkwardly through his mistaken term of endearment didn’t go unnoticed by you in the slightest bit. Your stomach filled with butterflies at the terms that had slipped past your ex husband's lips on the other end of the line. 

You missed him, you missed what the two of you used to be before things got so complicated. You missed the gentle nature of Jake's charisma before he fell so deep into the persona he played up for his colleagues and country. The Hangman. Always leaving people hanging, including his wife. 

Jake was just and always would be simply Jake Seresin to you. Your now ex husband but still and forever the love of your life. 

“Okay, I’ll talk to you soon, bye Jake, have a good day.” You hung up before your tears could spill from your lower lash line and left out a heavy sigh. As you closed your eyes and imagined what it would be like to be held in this moment by the man who promised he’d be there for you in sickness and in health, you reminded yourself why you left. You weren’t good enough for him to love you the way you deserved. How could you expect him to love you now when he couldnt even fix a fucking faucet when you asked? 

“Okay, so what’s the next step?” Your doctor just looked at you with sympathetic eyes that told you this wasn’t going to be easy. She took a deep breath and handed you a treatment plan that was in her opinion, the best case scenario for your specific type of cancer.

“You fight for your family, Mrs Seresin.” 

***~***~***~***~***~***~***~***

Tags: @blindedbythelightt @starset21@tayl0rhuynh @mamachasesmayhem @marvelogic @itsmytimetoodream @maverick-wingman @kodzukenmaaa @eternalsams @seitmai @nota-professional @jessicab1991 @hardballoonlove @senawashere @lafrone @fanficfandomlove @withahappyrefrain @dizzybee03 @maisie-rebloging-blog @goldenseresinretriever @a-reader-and-a-writer

[hungermakesmonsters]

(Once Bitten) Twice Shy

Chapter Two

Plot summary : Desperate to get away from your controlling family, you take a job in New York as a wealthy vampire's blood source. A million dollars awaits if you can make it through a year, but life with Billy Russo is not going to be as simple as you think.

Pairing : Billy Russo x Reader

Story Rating : R  Chapter Rating : PG

Warnings : [This is a fic for 18+ only, minors DNI] This whole story will deal with dark and smutty themes. All chapters will contain mentions of blood. Please check the warnings on each chapter if you choose to follow this story. 

Word Count : 4.3k

A/N : Spoiler warning for anyone who hasn't read The Picture of Dorian Gray (though can I really spoil a book that's over 130 years old? idk).

CHAPTER ONE

Chapter Two

This is going to be fun.

That was what he’d told you, and you hadn’t been able to stop thinking about it since. You hadn’t been able to stop thinking about him. 

As you laid in bed that night, you wondered where he was, you wondered what he was doing. What had he meant when he told you that he liked you? Did you even want to be liked by him? The more you thought about it, the more you realised just how strange the conversation had been. At the time it felt like he was taking a measure of you, trying to understand you, but not necessarily trying to know you.

At the time you’d felt like you were on the back foot, too shocked by his sudden appearance to really learn anything about him.

But, again, you had to wonder if that was something you really wanted. After all, he was a vampire and there was still so much that you didn’t know about their world and the way that they lived.

You fell asleep that night thinking about his dark eyes and the way he’d looked as he’d sipped your blood.

The next morning you woke with a start, realising that you'd forgotten to set an alarm the night before and you’d overslept. Not that you had any reason to wake up before midday, but you were certain that if you didn’t find a way to keep some sort of structure in your life over the next year, you were going to lose your mind.

So, you got up and got breakfast before spending half an hour on the treadmill, taking a slow walk, imagining you were on your way to the Met. Every day you were going to imagine a new place you’d be able to see in the city once your contract was over. After your walk and a quick shower, you got dressed and headed out into the main penthouse. 

You weren’t surprised that he wasn’t out there - because, of course he wasn’t, it was the middle of the afternoon - but you still felt... something. Disappointment? No, loneliness. 

For a few seconds your eyes caught on his door before you headed into the library.

The next few hours were spent going through his books and his record collection, looking for something, anything, that might tell you a little more about him. But you didn’t know what you were looking for, and there was no way of telling which of the books, if any, held any real sort of value to him. Dorian Gray, you guessed, had to mean something because he’d noticed it was missing from the shelf, but there was everything from the classics to more recent books, spanning almost every genre you could think to name.

(Though you did have to wonder if he’d purchased Dracula before or after being turned.)

Your search for clues seemed fruitless; you couldn’t even begin to guess his age from his record collection. There was everything from classical music to records that you knew were only released last year. Everything was too eclectic. Normally eclectic was something that you liked, you hated the idea of being stuck with only one genre or type or music or book, but it was frustrating how little you’d been able to discover.   

What made it worse, you came to realise, was that he’d been able to read you as easily as he might read one of his books. He’d only had to look at you to understand that you’d taken this job to get away from something.

But you weren’t going to let your mind wander to thoughts of home.

That evening you sat and waited on the sofa realising for the first time that you could get an amazing view of the sun setting over Central Park and the city from there. You’d brought the battered copy of Dorian Gray with you, but every time you tried to focus on it, you found yourself distracted by the view.

To your disappointment, the clock struck 9pm and Mr Russo still hadn’t appeared, so you made your way back to your room.

It was silly to feel disappointed, but you weren’t used to feeling so completely alone. Back home there had always been someone around, even when you wanted nothing more than to be alone. And, the rest of the time, you’d had social media to slake your thirst for connection and companionship. Now there was nothing but the walls of the penthouse, TV and Mr Russo’s collection of books.

The next day passed similarly; you got up, you had a little walk on the treadmill before showering, then you picked out your outfit for the day.Then you headed to the library and started to make you through Mr Russo’s vinyl collection, listening to some of the albums that grabbed your attention, keeping the volume down in case the vampire was sleeping in his rooms.

That was the thing that was really starting to bother you - you didn’t even know if he was home. There was no way of telling if he was just beyond the door to his room, or if he was even in the city. Not knowing just made the loneliness more acute.

That evening, after you’d eaten and drawn blood, you found yourself on the sofa again watching the sunset, his book on your lap and a couple of the muffins you’d made, sitting on a plate on the table. Sugar seemed to help after drawing blood, though you weren’t sure you’d ever get used to it.

“Making yourself at home, I see,” his voice pierced the silence so suddenly that you started.

You turned from the window quickly, to find him standing by his door, smiling and very obviously impressed with himself.

“How long have you been stood there?” Not even trying to disguise the shock or annoyance in your tone. 

He didn’t answer, instead he started towards the kitchen, grabbing himself a glass before retrieving today’s blood from the fridge. 

“It’s quite the view,” he stated, his back to you, “I suppose someone should appreciate it.”

“You mean you don’t?” Curious. Why bother having a penthouse like this if he didn’t care about the view?

“Looking at the sunset isn’t exactly enjoyable for vampires,” he shrugged, turning and making his way towards the sofa.

“I thought the windows made the sunlight safe for you?” Or maybe you were just being stupid. You hated how little you know, how little you’d learned before taking the job. And, now, without the internet, you couldn’t even try to learn about it.

“They make it safe, yes,” he stated, sitting down, not directly next to you, but much closer than he had been the first time you met. “But seeing the sun and knowing that I’ll never feel its warmth on my face again, makes it a little unbearable.”

“Oh. I’m sorry.”

You didn’t expect that to get a laugh.

“You apologise a lot for someone who hasn’t done anything wrong yet.”

Yet? You weren’t sure what that meant, but you didn’t think it wise to ask. As far as you were concerned, you weren’t going to do anything wrong while you were there.

“It’s just how I was raised, I guess,” you shrugged, your gaze dropping to his glass, to your blood.

Mr Russo gave a hum, his gaze still fixed on you, looking right through you. It was enough to make your heart beat a little faster, even though Lissa had warned you about such things, but controlling it was easier said than done. 

“Are you still settling in?” He asked. “I know that all of this can take a while to adjust to.”

“It’s -” you started and stopped, wondering if it was wise to be honest about it, “- a little lonely. I’m not used to going for days without someone to talk to. Normally I’d at least have the dog, but...” you trailed into a sigh, reminding yourself that this was what you agreed to. 

“I see,” he nodded, face offering the slightest slither of sympathy. “I’ll do what I can to help with that.”

Silence fell for a few moments before his eyes dropped to your lap, to the book that you’d started to tightly grip at some point after his sudden appearance. 

“Are you enjoying the book?” He asked and you looked down, noticing how white your knuckles were.

“Yes,” your cheeks started to warm, “very much.”

Your fingers flexed, releasing your grip on the book and, instead, you pressed your hands flat on your lap.

“Have you read it before?”

“No, it’s not -” you paused for a second, trying to think of the best way to explain it to him, “- it’s not the sort of book that was deemed acceptable where I’m from.”

“Ah,” he nodded, still looking very amused by everything, by you. “And you’re reading it now as - what? An act of rebellion against the way you were raised? Or are you just curious to see how bad it is?”

“No, it’s not that,” you answered without hesitation, shrugging, “I always thought it was a stupid rule. People should be allowed to read what they want and draw their own conclusions. That’s the point of art; it means something different to everyone that views it. And I don’t like being told how to feel about things.”

The amusement on his face slowly started to turn to something a little more genuine, something a little more interested. 

“What part are you up to?”

“He’s going to ask Sybil to marry him.”

He gave the slightest of nods. “And what do you think about that?”

It was a strange question, but perhaps that was because you weren’t used to people wanting to know your thoughts or opinions on things. You took a slow breath and he didn’t pressure you, giving you a moment to get your thoughts in order.

“I think it’s a bit soon. He hasn’t really known her very long and he seems more infatuated with who she is when she’s on stage than her as a person, but...”

“But?” He prompted gently.

“If he loves her half as much as he thinks he does, then maybe they could be happy together? It seems like he needs someone who’ll love him, someone who he can love more than himself, and someone who’ll get him away from Lord Henry.” Even though you were perfectly happy with your opinion, you still felt your cheeks warming again.

“You think he needs love?” Another unexpected question.

“Well... doesn’t everyone?”

“Do you think he really deserves it?”

“Does anyone?”

He paused for a second, looking ready to say something before obviously changing his mind. “So, do you believe in love at first sight? Like Dorian falling for Sybil?”

“I -” you faltered, looking down at the book on your lap, trying to escape the dark depths of his eyes for a moment, “- I don’t know. I find it hard to believe in anything I’ve not experienced myself.”

“You’ve never been in love?”

“I’ve never felt love at first sight,” you avoided the question, forcing yourself to look back up. “Have you?”

“No, not at first sight.”

At that, he seemed to relent, falling silent and letting his gaze drift towards the window again, lifting his glass and taking a sip. You reached for a muffin, almost gasping as his cold fingers suddenly wrapped around your wrist and pulled your arm towards him. Your lips parted, ready to ask the obvious question, but it fell dead on your tongue when his thumb ran over the bruising at the crook of your arm from drawing blood. He stared at it for a second before his eyes returned to yours.

“Do I need Lissa to come and help you draw blood in future?” He asked, and you couldn’t tell if he was concerned or annoyed.

“No, it’s fine,” you gave a gentle tug against his grip, but he didn’t let go. “I just bruise easily. I didn’t even notice it.” 

His fingers tightened a fraction.

“While you’re here, you’re my responsibility. I hope you understand that.”

“That’s not -” but he wasn’t finished.

“If anything was to happen to you, it would be my fault. I need to know that you’ll be more careful in future.” There was an edge to his words, something that made your stomach knot. Did he think that you were incompetent, that you couldn’t do the job? Or was he just worried  that he’d be blamed if something happened to you?

“I’ll be more careful,” you told him but, still, he kept hold of your arm, thumb hovering just above the bruising, a ghost of a touch that made your heart race.

“I might be your employer, but you should understand just how much power you have in this arrangement,” his voice turned almost soft as he let you go. Before you could even think to ask what he meant, he’d drained his glass, placed it down on the coffee table and was heading towards the elevator. “I’ll see you tomorrow.”

“Yes, Mr Russo,” the words tumbled out of your mouth almost automatically, not sure what else you were supposed to say.

“You can call me Billy,” he told you as the elevator doors slid open and he stepped inside.

And, then, he was gone.

Again, he’d left you with more questions than you ever thought you’d get answers to. You wanted to feel frustrated, annoyed even, at the way he breezed in and out of conversations, as if you were a plaything, just there for him when he was bored, but all you could think about was his touch.

His hand had been so cold, like death’s icy grip and, when you looked down, you found your arm was covered in goosebumps.

Tomorrow, he’d said. He was going to see you again tomorrow. (Probably because you’d complained about being lonely.) Perhaps you’d be able to learn a little bit more about him, perhaps you’d be able to ask him what he meant when he told you that you had power here.

Before returning to your rooms for the night, you took a moment to move his empty glass from the table, rinsing it out in the sink and returning it to the cupboard where it belonged. The rest of the evening was spent trying to concentrate on reading, in part because you were invested in the book, but mostly because you wanted to have something to talk with him about tomorrow.

But, again, you found yourself distracted; by the conversation you’d had, by the things he’d said and the way he’d looked when he said them and, most of all, by the way his touch had felt on your arm.

It was silly. Ridiculous. You put it down to being trapped indoors for the last ten days and you having spoken to all of two people in that time. It wasn’t him. He could have been anyone and you’d no doubt have felt the same way. You were just starved for human contact.

(Only Billy Russo wasn’t human, was he?)

You kept thinking about his dark eyes and the way he laughed, the subtle way his lips curled up when he found something you said amusing. There was no shame in admitting that he was pretty. 

Pretty in a way that would never fade or alter. Just like Dorian Gray.

Though, as you continued to read, you realised that that comparison certainly wasn’t flattering.

The next day passed much the same as the days before it and, as the hours ticked by, you found yourself almost looking forward to seeing him. Though you didn’t allow yourself to feel excitement, in case he disappointed you by not appearing. You stayed in your rooms until it was almost sunset.

He was already there waiting for you when you stepped out into the penthouse proper, today's blood in one hand, a pack of cookies in the other, and the book wedged under your arm.

“Oh,” you stopped so abruptly you almost fell over your own feet.

“Good evening,” he grinned.

“Good evening, Mr Russo,” you replied, still not moving.

“Billy,” he reminded you. “If we’re going to be living together for a year, you might as well call me Billy.”

“Billy,” you repeated, nodding before looking down. “I have your - I mean, I’ve got today’s -” you struggled, eyes fixed on the sealed bottle of blood in your hand, fresh and still warm.

You could feel your cheeks start to heat, not sure what the protocol was in this situation.

“I’ll take that now,” he said but didn’t move.

For a moment more, you remained frozen, feeling utterly ridiculous - and you were certain that he was enjoying watching your confusion.

“Okay, I’ll - I’ll put this in a glass for you,” he didn’t object, so you made your way to the kitchen and set about pouring him a drink.

It was hard not to feel a little horrified - this seemed as close to offering him a vein as you ever hoped to get - but you forced down the discomfort.

“I hope the long sleeves aren’t to cover up more bruises,” he said softly when you finally approached the sofa and took a seat, near him but with enough space that another person would have fit between you.

“No, Mr - Billy. It’s just been cold today.”

“Oh, I can’t say that I noticed...” because of course he hadn’t. “The thermostat is in the library, change the temperature whenever you need to.”

You handed him the glass, a shudder running up your spine when his cold fingers seemed to deliberately graze yours. Your breath caught as you watched him lift the glass to his lips, his eyes closed as your blood touched his lips and you heard the softest sound from the back of his throat. Butterflies filled your stomach and your eyes fixed on the window, watching the sky slowly turn from blue to a progressively darkening pinkish-orange hue.

Billy lowered his glass and remained silent, his eyes following yours to the window, allowing the silence to linger until you chose to break it.

“I thought you didn’t like watching the sunset?” You asked, not daring to look his way.

“It’s been a while since I’ve seen one and even longer since I had someone to watch it with,” he shrugged. “I thought I’d give it another go.”

“So, the others, the ones before me -”

“I don’t think they cared to notice it,” he cut you off. There was something clipped about his tone, something that told you he didn’t want to talk about them. His attention turned to the book and the packet of cookies resting on your lap. “Were you planning on reading?”

“Yes, or - I don’t know, maybe..." you sighed, finally allowing yourself to look at him. He gave you a questioning look, wanting you to elaborate. “You didn’t warn me about Sybil.”

“I didn’t want to spoil it for you,” a hint of amusement slipped into his tone. “Are you disappointed that they didn’t get their happily-ever-after?”

You looked at him for a moment and quickly found yourself feeling a little annoyed at the implication that you had expected it to be that easy, that you were some hopeless romantic looking for a happy ending in the most ridiculous of places.

“I’m not some naive child. I don’t know what I expected - not a happily-ever-after, but I definitely didn’t expect that,” you tried to explain. “I didn’t expect him to be so... so cruel to her.”

“She let him down, embarrassed him in front of his friends,” Billy offered, almost like he was defending it, “he was disappointed.”

“Disappointed that she no longer needed to act to feel wanted and loved, because she thought she’d finally found that with him?” You answer back, unable to keep yourself from noticing the way the glow of the sunset made his features seem softer. “He showed her what real love could feel like, then he snatched it away from her. It was cruel.”

“You’re right,” he conceded before hesitating a moment. “Maybe I should warn you that he doesn’t get any better. There is no redemption for Dorian Gray.”

“Oh,” At that you felt yourself deflate a little, an odd feeling of disappointment gnawing at your guts. While you’d told him that you weren’t some naive child, hearing that Dorian wasn’t going to get better made you almost want to give up entirely.

Again, he seemed to find some enjoyment in your simple disappointment - something that was starting to get to you.

“I take it you’re used to reading... happier stories?” He asked and you offered a shrug. “Heroes and romance and happily ever afters?”

“Books have always been an escape for me. So, yeah, I like things that I know will end well.” You answered and, for a second, you could have sworn his smile turned a little softer. “Why do you even like this book?” You dared to ask, wanting to understand why anyone could find enjoyment in such misery.

“I think you’d need to finish the book before we could have that conversation,” was all he offered before lifting his glass and, again, you heard that soft sound as he drank. Your heart started to beat a little faster. Billy carefully licked his lips, like he couldn’t bear the thought of letting a single drop go to waste. The corner of his mouth curled with amusement again. “Are you sure I’m not your first vampire?”

Your lips parted and, for a moment you couldn’t force the words past the lump in your throat. You couldn’t tell if he was teasing or if he really wanted to know, just like you couldn’t tell if it was his intention to make you feel small. But he did make you feel small, he made you feel like you didn’t understand the world you’d found yourself in; like you didn’t understand vampires or the job you’d agreed to, and like you were too naive to understand his taste in literature.

“No. You’re not,” you answered tersely, trying to hold back your annoyance. “You’re just the first one that I’ve let drink my blood.”

“Good,” he replied without hesitation, seeming to completely ignore your change of demeanour.  

“Good?” What was that supposed to mean?

He shifted, turning so he could face you properly, his foot knocking against yours as he did. 

“Good,” he repeated, the corners of his lips still pulling upwards. “If anyone else had tasted your blood, I doubt they would have been willing to let you go so easily.” He licked his lips and your heart continued to stutter in your chest. His eyes closed for a moment, concentrating on the sound before muttering; “like a hummingbird...”

You didn’t dare move, even though every fibre of your being was screaming at you to pull away when his hand reached for you, fingertips ghosting down your cheek to your neck coming to rest above your rapidly pulsing carotid artery. Frozen, you sat there, his hand on your neck and his dark eyes seeming to stare right into your soul.

Does my blood really taste that good? You wondered.

“It does,” he answered and you realised that you’d spoken the question aloud. 

Something prickled in the back of your mind, a warning you’d been given a long time ago, about how some vampires could trick you and control you, how they could bend you to their will. But, you couldn’t tell if that was what this was, or if you were allowing this because you wanted it, because you wanted to understand. Regardless, you didn’t move. Even as he licked his lips. Even as he leaned closer. 

“What does it taste like?” You heard the question but it took you a few seconds to realise that it had come from your mouth.

“Like sunlight and innocence,” he muttered softly, “sweet, like warm honey. Like life...”

Closer and closer, the cold press of his fingers on your neck sending a shiver down your spine, and a heat in your belly. Your thighs gently pressed together. He made it sound so wonderful, so romantic, like it wasn’t some strange and sordid thing. He made you feel special, made you feel things that you weren’t sure you’d ever felt before.

Before you could even consider the possibilities of what might happen next, he was pulling away from you, and you very quickly returned to your senses, taking an uncomfortable breath.

“What -” you started to ask, needing to know if he’d done something to you, if he’d been trying to control you, but he was already on his feet draining the last of your blood from the glass.

“I’m afraid I won’t have time for one of our little talks tomorrow. I have a meeting just after sunset,” he explained and your eyes followed him as he first moved to the kitchen to put his glass in the sink, then started towards the elevator. He paused once he’d hit the call button. “Keep reading the book. I’m intrigued to know what you’ll think of the ending.”

“Yes, Mr Russo,” the words tumbled clumsily from your mouth, an automatic response to the man who was your employer, wanting to regain some sense of propriety.

“Billy,” he countered. “Goodnight, little hummingbird.”

The doors slid shut and you were alone again.

You didn’t move for at least a minute, your head spinning. A hand rose to your neck touching where he had touched you, your skin still feeling cold and prickled with goosebumps. Looking down, you realised that your thighs were still clenched together.

Gathering the book and the untouched packet of cookies, you quickly made your way back to your bedroom, locking the door behind you.

End Note : Thank you so much for the wonderful response to the first chapter of this story! I hope this lives up to expectations. I'm already really enjoying writing this one. Also, sorry as always that I'm constantly so slow at responding to comments, I'm trying to get better at that

Let me know if you'd like to be tagged in future chapters! If tagging doesn't work for some reason (aka Tumblr being dumb) I post most Fridays around 7:30 gmt.

Tag List:

@lincerad @vxnity713 @readerinsertsaremyguiltypleasure @dreadfulxives18 @fireeyes-on-teller-dixon-grimes @vaguekayla @thdcre @rensolodriver @house-husband-of-castlemurdock @snowkestrel @danzer8705 @noortsshift @aoi-targaryen @tortilla-chips-and-allioli

[familyvideostevie]

alright, hear me out. i looked through the prompts list and can we give roommate!steve a little airtime beCAUSE—

trying to not hit anything or each other, when there is a power outage and it’s way too dark

— is SO steve coded. i wanna see this man during a power outage. please and thank you. i love you.

hi baby. here you go. sorry it took so long. it is the first thing i have written in about 6 weeks so apologies for it's roughness. i adore you. thank you for helping me give steve Harrington his triumphant return. | fluff, 1.3k, roommates!au

Summer storms in the Midwest always take you by surprise. The never-ending expanse of blue sky becomes crowded with swirling grey clouds without warning and everything stills, like the very fabric of time is holding its breath. Until the dam bursts and rain pounds on your windows, the roof, the pavement with wild abandon. Deep, rumbling thunder follows bright flashes of lightning.

You find it relaxing. A steady, reliable chaos into which you settle without complaint.

Well, usually. Your roommate, Robin -- a talkative and whip-smart girl who makes you laugh-- enjoys storms just as much as you do. It's one of the only times she settles, so you often read side-by-side in companionable silence. Sometimes, if you're feeling bold, you'll both dance in the rain.

But Robin is on some six-month trip for brilliant people and she's left you with a subletter.

"My best friend Steve," she'd said. "Come on, I talk about him all the time. You basically know him."

It's true. Robin is full of stories and this Steve is in most of them. A funny, brave, well-intentioned guy who is a bit of an idiot and has a great head of hair.

And now he's living in the other bedroom. And he's hot. And he always does his dishes and remembers to put the seat down after you scolded him once for doing otherwise and you have a crush on him.

It's annoying. He's been here for like, three weeks and keeps asking you where the spoons are and you like him.

But Steve? You are learning that Steve does not like summer storms.

In the few you've had since he arrived you've noticed that he paces, or sits in the living room with the television turned up high, or something noisy. You've never asked him about it because honestly, he could be much worse as far as roommates go.

You can hear his radio through the wall and it's making it hard to focus on your book. You should really go to sleep but this chapter is really good and does he have to be so loud? Maybe you should get up and ask him to keep it down --

A flash of lightning makes it seem like daylight in your room for a brief moment and then everything is dark. Everything.

"Fuck," you say. The power must have gone out. A clap of thunder so loud it feels like your building shakes startles you. You hear a shout from the other side of the wall.

It's not as hard as you'd expect to feel your way to your bedroom door in the dark. You manage to do so without injury apart from bumping your hip on your dresser.

But when you open your door you smack into a solid wall of warmth. Your fingers grasp for purchase and find none -- only bare skin.

"Jesus Christ --" Steve says. He manages to prevent you both from falling over and holds you at arm's length in the dark. "What are you doing?" His voice is tight and he squeezes your shoulders once before releasing you.

"Uh," you say. You're certain that he's not wearing a shirt. You can feel that he's not wearing a shirt. "The power went out."

He huffs. "Wow, thank you. I had no idea."

You wish it wasn't dark so you could see his face. Three weeks hasn't been enough time to learn all of his expressions. "Were you sleeping?"

It feels like a dumb question considering how loud his music was.

"Yeah," he says. "Obviously I was sleeping. It's like, 1 am."

"Just go back to sleep. If you can, under the volume of your radio."

You imagine him wincing. "Sorry," he says. "I don't, uh. Sleep well during --"

Lighting illuminates the hall and you see him for one brilliant second, messy hair, bare chest rising and falling, boxers slung low. Boxers with...are those...bananas? Then: darkness, thunder. You sense his flinch.

"That," he says flatly.

A smile creeps its way onto your face and you allow it because he can't see. The fact that this guy, your temporary roommate, your sort-of crush, is afraid of thunderstorms fills your chest with warmth. It's endearing. It's adorable. It makes you like him so much more.

You ease past him and into the dark of the rest of the apartment.

"Woah, woah," Steve says. "Where are you going?" You hear him follow you and immediately run into something. He curses. You keep your hands out to avoid the same fate.

"You okay?" you call back.

"Why do we have so much furniture?" he grumbles. "Fuck, that hurt."

You don't correct him that we actually means you and Robin.

"Watch where you're going," you say lightly.

"Oh, ha, ha."

Careful steps take you closer to your destination. "Go look for candles in the kitchen," you tell him. "They're in the drawer by the trash."

"Uh, okay," Steve says. He bumps into things with quiet curses on his way as you look for the matches that should be in the closet. "Why? You could just go back to bed. I'm fine."

You chew on your lip. He's right. But you want to hang out with him. The dark makes you honest. "The thunder is loud," you say. "I won't be able to sleep. We might as well hang out."

He laughs, the first genuine one all night. "Oh, you want to hang out? In the dark? You know what this sounds like, right?"

Ah, the famous Harrington charm Robin has told you about. It makes your cheeks feel hot and you can't hide a smile. Steve ruins the moment by running into something again.

"Fuck! Jesus --"

"Steve, be careful."

"I can't see anything!"

You sigh and finally find the matches. Box in hand, you carefully make your way to the kitchen, your eyes adjusting just a little and making it easier.

Steve is looking in the wrong drawer. You should just tell him so, but instead you reach for him, fingers circling his wrist and dragging it to the right one. His skin is warm under yours, the back of his hand softer than you'd thought it would be. You open the drawer together and hear the candles roll around inside.

His face is a dark outline but you focus on the dark and think you see his eyes. You wish you could see him.

"Found them," he says. You're much closer than you realized, so close you feel his breath on your cheek. Steve leans in -- or maybe it's you, you have no idea, and your noses brush. He puts a hand on your hip, fingers sliding under the hem of your sleep shirt and burning you like a brand.

Your eyes slide close and you miss the flash but not the boom that follows, sending you both about a foot in the air and away from each other.

"Shit," you gasp. Steve laughs and you join in, giggling in the dark like teenagers.

Maybe this is a one-night thing, the darkness making you both a little lonelier and a little braver. But you've got months more of him and the idea of spending that time being something more than just roommates? It's appealing, to say the least.

You reach for Steve in the dark and he must have been doing the same because your fingers tangle without much effort.

"Come on," you say. "Let's light the candles and sit on the couch. I'm sure the power will come back on eventually."

He squeezes your hand and you squeeze back. "Okay," he says, a smile in his voice. "Don't let me run into anything."

You grin at him in the dark and hope that come morning he'll be familiar with it in the light, as well. "Don't worry, Steve," you tell him. "I've got you."

thank you for reading <3 reblog, send feedback, general masterlist here!

[st-eve-barnes]

Leverage (Michael Gavey x fem Reader)

Chapter 6 (the final one)

Summary: When your ex threatens to release some very personal videos you are left with no choice but to do what he asks: seduce the biggest nerd on campus, Michael Gavey. Will you rock his world or will he fundamentally change yours?

This chapter: Basically angst central, confrontations all around, things get worse before they get better. And smut of course ;)

Word count: +5000

Warning for the entire fic: 18+ for explicit content and language. Kissing, oral sex (male & fem receiving), dry humping, hand job, fingering, p in v sex. First kiss and loss of virginity. Experienced reader. Enemies to lovers vibes.

Fluff, smut and of course angst (my favorite combination! lol)

This is the last chapter and I want to thank everyone for all the love on this fic! I really did not expect this little nerd to be so popular but I guess he owns us all❤️ I hope you guys like the ending, I feel like I edited too much but I really needed to send it into the world now so I can move onto another muse ;)

Read the first chapters Here

***

All my fics are also on AO3

***

The rain was pouring down hard over Oxford that week, it was barely three in the afternoon yet it was almost completely dark outside.

Inside the Bodleian library the lights were cozy and warm. It was quiet except for a handful of students sitting at the tables to read and study.

You and Michael were doing neither of those. Instead you were hiding in the back between two book shelves, his hand tangled into your hair while his lips trailed a path down your neck, leaving sloppy wet kisses all over your skin.

He had your back pressed up against his chest, trapping you between him and the books.

“Fuck,” he breathed into your ear,”I just wanna push that skirt up and shove my cock into you right here.”

To accentuate his words he moved his hips, pushing his rock hard erection against your ass.

“You wouldn’t,” you finally managed to speak, your words contradicting your actions because you were grinding back against him just as desperately.

Michael used your hair to pull you back against him, his lips grazing the shell of your ear as he whispered,”I will if you beg me.”

His hand moved from your hip down to your thighs and in between your legs, cupping your pussy over your panties, his fingers pushing just hard enough to let you feel him. He smirked at the wetness pooling through the fabric.

“Wet means you want me, right?” he teased, kissing your neck again,”Come on, sweetheart.”

“I am not going to beg, Michael, we’re in the fucking library,” you objected in a heavy whisper.

You wanted him to stop, but you also didn’t. You never should have followed him back here. You were a bad influence on him, you were both a bad influence on each other.

“Oh, so you don’t want my cock?” Michael asked with a little teasing chuckle.

He started kissing the spot right below your ear while his hand slipped inside your panties.

And again you were not stopping him, your brain was yelling at you to quit it right now and step back but your body clearly wasn’t on board with that plan.

“Michael…not in here,” you protested but then you moaned when his fingers found your clit. He circled it slowly and so skillfully you had to bite your lip to keep from moaning out loud.

He was laughing into your ear now,”Sweetheart, stop pretending, you are fucking soaked.”

You moaned again,”God, Michael, please.” 

Were you begging him to stop or to keep going? You couldn’t tell anymore, you were completely at his mercy at this point.

The nerd you had sex with for the first time less than two months ago was no longer, this Michael was a whole new man and he was the one in control now. 

You had created a monster. A monster you wanted to fuck every hour of every day.

“Michael,” you whimpered,”We shouldn’t do this in here…”

Your protest was weak and you both knew it. There was nobody around in the area of the library where you two were but you could hear voices of other students and staff way too close for comfort. If anyone caught you two the consequences could be severe, you could both lose your scholarship and get kicked out of the university.

Yet Michael didn’t seem to care at all, making no attempts to stop or slow down as he pushed a finger inside of you and made you grab the bookshelves in front of you for support.

“Fuck,” you moaned,”Why do you feel so fucking good?”

He grabbed your neck with his free hand and started kissing your shoulders while he slowly pumped his finger in and out of you, thumb teasing your clit. 

“I learned from the best,” he whispered into your ear.

“We could get kicked out,” you tried to object again but Michael just added another finger and ignored your plea, his warm mouth sucking bruises into your skin.

“Please,” you tried again,”Michael…please, we have to stop, it’s not worth….fuck…”

“I don’t care,” he moaned softly against your neck,”I’m going to fuck you right here…if we get caught we get caught…fuck it.”

You’re not sure why exactly those words made you come back down to reality but you were quick to grab his hand and finally really stop him this time.

“No. Stop,” you insisted and this time Michael obeyed instantly, sensing the urgency in your tone.

He pulled back, letting you turn around to face him. “What’s wrong?” he asked, confused.

“You do care,” you pointed out, looking into his eyes,”You could lose your scholarship, how can you say you don’t care?”

Michael just shrugged and your only reaction was to hit him on the chest.“What the fuck is wrong with you?”

“It’s your fault!” he defended himself,”I want you so bad it makes me stupid.”

You knew he didn’t mean it the way it came out but the words still cut right through you. Michael knew he fucked up. He moved his hand through his hair and sighed,”I said the wrong thing again, didn’t I?”

“Yeah, you did.”

He placed his hands on your waist and pulled you closer,”Come here, I’m sorry. I didn’t mean that, I’m sorry.”

His lips found yours in a soft kiss and your irritation melted away immediately.

“You’re right,” he then whispered,”I wasn’t thinking, and that isn’t your fault at all, I just…I’ll be more careful around campus, I promise. Are we good? Please tell me we’re good?”

You pressed your forehead against his, smiling softly when he kissed your lips again. ”Yeah, we’re good.”

“I don’t have classes for another two hours. Want to come up to my room and finish this?”

Your lips curled up into an eager smile and you nodded. Michael grabbed your hand and pulled you with him through the library and out into the rain. You stopped a few times on the way to Michael’s apartment to make out in the middle of the street, rain falling down heavily over the both of you but neither of you cared, having only eyes for each other.

As soon as you entered Michael’s room he made good on his promise. Pulling you into his arms and fucking you right there against the wall, his cargo pants down to his ankles and your panties pushed to the side. It was rushed and quick and absolutely perfect.

He made you come three more times that afternoon. Afterwards you both fell asleep on his bed, forgetting all about the studying you both had planned that day.

***

You were having coffee near the university later that week when Michael slipped into the seat opposite you, his blue eyes glowing with mischief.

He didn’t wait for you to greet him before he started rambling,“Okay, so I have this friend of a classmate who’s into IT and some other, less official, computer stuff and I told him about…your issue and he’s convinced he can help us out.’

You looked up at him over your coffee cup.”Define less official? Do you mean illegal?”

“Well,…if he can get into Ben’s computer he can delete every single file on there.”

“You mean hacking. Michael, that’s illegal,” you sighed.

“He’s done it before, it’s no big deal.”

“No big deal?” you asked, shocked,”It’s a literal crime. You’re friends with a criminal now?”

Michael gave you an annoyed glare,”He’s not my friend, and he is not a criminal, he only does this to help people out. What’s wrong? Do you not want my help now?”

“Not if it’s going to get you in trouble.”

“I won’t get in trouble.”

“Okay, I don’t want your acquaintance, the criminal, to get in trouble.”

He couldn’t help but grin at your sassy words but then he was quickly shaking his head,”We won’t get caught, and if we do…it’ll be worth it. I’m not letting that prick ruin your life.”

“What does your not-friend want in return?” you asked.

“Just some tutoring lessons,” he explained.

You sighed deeply, looking up at him.”Michael…”

“Come on, we can fix this, let me fix this for you, baby,” he begged.

“It’s illegal, Michael,” you reminded him.

“I don’t care,” he insisted.

You looked at him, at his honest eyes and the nervous yet excited smile on his lips. His cheeks blushed under your gaze and the cozy nerdy sweater he was wearing made you want to crawl into his lap and cuddle with him. 

He was so eager to help you and play the knight in shining armor. It was the library all over again, he would put all his morals and beliefs aside for you without even thinking twice about it. You knew you should feel flattered but another feeling was rapidly taking over.

The feeling that Michael was undeniably too good for you, and that you could ruin everything he’s ever wanted and worked for. 

And that it had already taken you way too long to put a stop to it.

“I can’t let you do that for me,” you then spoke softly and Michael’s face fell.

“But I want to do this for you,” he reassured you, reaching across the table to grab your hand but you didn’t take his.

“No,” you insisted,”I want you to stop.”

“Stop what? Looking out for you? Trying to protect you against that twat?”

“All of it, Michael,” you sighed,”I want to stop all of it.”

He stared at you, panic now settling in his pretty blue eyes,”All of it?”

You hadn’t even realized it until you heard yourself say the words just now but you knew it was the only way.

“That test is tomorrow, right?” you asked.

Michael nodded, still confused by your words.

“You should take the rest of the day and study.”

“I don’t need to study,” Michael interrupted you,”You know that. I'm a..."

"Genius," you interrupted him right back,"Yes I know. Then take the day to rest and get into focus. I don’t think we should hang out today.”

“Just today or…?” he asked carefully.

“You should focus on what you’re here for, Michael,” you sighed,”We both know that isn’t me.”

“But…”

“You’ve changed,” you continued,”I can see it every day, you’re more and more distracted, you’re taking risks that could impact the rest of your life and…it’s all because of me.”

Michael stayed quiet for a moment.

“Of course it’s all because of you,” he then spoke softly,”And of course I’ve changed, how can I not be? How can I spend all these weeks with you and not have it change me?”

This time you were the one who stayed silent.

“Do you think you haven’t changed?” he asked,”Because if you really haven’t then…what’s the point of all of this? What have we been doing all this time? And don’t say fucking because we both know it was more than that!”

“But it wasn’t,” you lied,”Not to me, Michael.”

You could see the exact moment his heart broke at your words.

“You’re lying,” he whispered.

“No, I’m not,” you shook your head, sounding a lot more convincing than you felt,”I used you, right from the start, and you knew that. You knew what this was."

He was fighting back tears but you couldn't stop now that you'd started.

"I liked how I felt when I was with you but that’s all it was," you added,"And I feel guilty about it now because…I realize it was cruel. And you don’t deserve that. So I’m letting you off the hook.”

“But…I…I don’t want off the hook…I…I really fucking like you…and…fuck,” Michael was struggling to find his words, shaking his head and doing his best to hide his tears from you.

“I don’t like you that way, Michael,” you whispered, as if that would somehow make your words less harsh,”I’m sorry if I gave you the wrong idea. I should have never gotten you involved in this. I’m so sorry, I really am.”

Michael was too stunned to say or do anything else but watch you leave. 

You held it together well until the door of the coffee shop closed behind you. For once you were grateful for the rain, for at least now nobody could see your tears.

***

Weeks passed after that, without Michael. And without Ben, you kept waiting for the bomb to drop, for him to share that video and ruin your last year in Oxford. 

But it didn’t come.

You started going out with your friends again from time to time, and focussed on studying and graduating. For whatever reason Ben had kept his distance from you and as the weeks passed you were starting to forget about the whole thing. Maybe he had been all bark and no bite after all, maybe he never even intended to do anything to begin with and it was all just scare tactics. You felt bad for ever believing him but more than anything you felt relief. It was all over now.

You didn’t see Ben for an entire month, nor did you see Michael.

But without your knowledge they did see each other, once. The day after Michael’s friend of a friend hacked into Ben’s computer.

Michael was sitting in his usual spot in the library when Ben aggressively grabbed a chair and sat right next to him.

Michael kept his calm and didn’t look up to acknowledge him at first.“What do you want?” he then asked, annoyed.

“I fucking know it was you!” Ben hissed.

“You know more than I do then,” Michael stated calmly, still not looking at him.

“I know it was one of those IT computer nerds and all you fucking nerds stick together, it’s fucking obvious.”

Michael finally laid down his pen to look at him, a smug calm smile on his face,”Prove it.”

“If I could I’d have you kicked out already,” Ben sighed annoyed.

Michael just nodded,”Then why are you here?”

Ben moved his chair closer to his and looked into his eyes, his anger replaced by a smug grin,”Because…you overlooked one small thing, genius…I would have thought you computer nerds would follow your own advice but…”

“What…advice?” Michael asked, trying not to show the sudden panic caused by Ben’s words.

“Always have a back up,” Ben stated, making Michael’s stomach twist.

“You have another copy?” he realized.

“I do, yeah,” Ben smiled,”It’s on a hard drive that you guys will never get your hands on.”

“Fuck,” Michael breathed.

Ben leaned back in his chair to look at him, his grin so smug Michael wanted to punch him in the face right there.”So, I just came by to say nice try, loser.”

He got up from the chair and wanted to walk away but Michael was quick to follow him.

“Wait! Is that…is that the only other copy you have?” he asked.

Ben laughed,”It is for now, but as soon as I get my computer up and running again I guess I should make some back ups of my back up. You never know when it could come in handy.”

Michael had to stop himself from punching him in the face but Ben just walked away, not even paying Michael any more attention.

This couldn’t be how it ended, the rich kid does not get to win.

Michael was balling his fists and biting his tongue but he soon realized there was only one other thing he could do, and it played right into Ben’s hand. But it was the only way to destroy the last evidence of that video and have you be free of him.

“I can get you in!” Michael yelled after him, making Ben turn around.

“In where?” Ben asked with a laugh.

“Charter Inc.”

Ben stopped in his tracks to look at him.”You got the job,” he realized.

Michael nodded,”I got the letter last week and I had the interview on Monday.”

“Fuck, I knew I should have heard something by now,” Ben sighed,”Damned!”

“They told me in the interview they’re always on the lookout for new people, asked me if I could recommend anyone.”

“Are you serious right now? Are you making this shit up?”

”I’m serious. And I’ll be happy to recommend you.”

“You would?” Ben laughed.

“No of course not, I’d rather fucking die,” Michael confessed,”But…I’ll do it, if you do two things for me.”

 “Name it.”

“You take me up to your room right now and we destroy that copy.”

“Alright,” Ben sighed,” And the other thing?”

“You leave her alone from now on,” Michael stated firmly,“I promise to do my utter best to get you in if you do these two things for me. You have my word on that. Do we have a deal?”

Ben looked at him and then caved, nodding his head,”Fine, sure, whatever, man. If there’s a chance you can get me the job I always wanted I don’t give a fuck about some stupid sex video. But you’d better not be lying to me, Gavey, or I’m coming for you.”

Michael followed Ben out of the library and into the hallway.“That’s fine, you can come after me all you want, just…leave her alone.”

“Look at you playing the knight in shining armor,” Ben teased,”Why are you doing all this? Didn’t she dump you?”

“Yeah, she did,” Michael whispered.

“Aww, you think she’s gonna come running back into your arms when you tell her how you saved her? That’s pathetic, man.”

“No, I don’t,” he sighed.

“Then why go through all this trouble, dude? You love her or something?”

Michael shook his head and blushed,”You would’t get it.”

He didn’t tell Ben anything else.

And he didn’t tell you anything either. Not then or during the weeks after.

***

It was the day of graduation when you ran into Ben, literally, on your way out of the courtyard. The both of you dressed up to the nines to celebrate. Ben didn’t have the usual smug smile or big mouth on him this time, he just congratulated you and reassured you everything else was in the past, which was of course very easy for him to say as he hadn’t been the one on the receiving end of his empty threats.

But you couldn’t be bothered wasting any more time or thoughts on him so you just congratulated him back and then walked away.

“Hey, how’s Gavey?” he asked before you could turn your back on him.

“I wouldn’t know, I haven’t seen him,” you confessed.

You didn’t want to talk to Ben to begin with and you definitely didn’t want to talk to him about Michael.

“Huh,” Ben looked at you confused for a moment and then smiled,”Oh wait, he never told you, didn’t he?”

“Told me what, Ben?” you asked impatiently,”I swear to god if this is another one of your tricks…”

“It’s not, I don’t…I don’t do that shit anymore, it was stupid and childish.”

“No shit, Sherlock,” you sighed annoyed,”What then?”

“You might want to thank the nerd. You dumped him and he still saved your ass, I guess I underestimated the power of your pussy, I should apologize to her.”

You wanted to punch him in the face again and this time there was nothing or nobody stopping you so you did. Your fist hit him right on the nose and he jumped back with a painful yelp.

“Apology accepted,” you nodded and turned your back on him for the very last time.

***

You searched for over an hour to find Michael, making your way through the partying crowd outside. People were cheering and drinking everywhere and you were about to give up when you suddenly noticed him standing by himself, a proud happy smile on his face as he watched the people around him.

You took a moment to just look at him from a distance. He looked just as awkward and out of place as you remembered, fiddling with his glasses and not getting too close to other people. It reminded you of that first night you’d met with him in the pub.

But despite his awkwardness he also looked genuinely happy and for a moment you contemplated just walking away and letting things be. Clearly he was doing fine without you now. Did you really have the right to put yourself into his life again after months of nothing?

But the choice was taken from you when Michael noticed you. At first he just stared with a blank expression on his face, then his hand lifted in a little hesitant wave. When you waved back he broke into a smile and walked up to you.

“Hey,” his voice was soft and so kind it made your heart soar.

“Hey,” you smiled back, and then without thinking you wrapped your arms around his neck to give him a quick hug.

Michael didn’t freeze this time. Much to your surprise he grabbed your waist to pull you close to him and hug you back, his face buried into your hair. When you pulled him even closer he followed your lead, fully enveloping you into his arms, hands caressing your back and your hair.

You could hear him sigh deeply, holding you tight while he breathed you in.

“How have you been?” he asked eventually, breaking the spell and the hug.

You leaned back to look at him,“I’m okay. You?”

He nodded shyly,”Yeah, I’m okay too.”

“Ben told me what you did.”

“Oh…that was nothing, everyone would have done it.”

You shook your head with a sad smile,”No, they wouldn’t have, Michael, especially not after what I did…I don’t deserve any of it. I was horrible to you.”

He just gave you another smile and shrugged, finally taking his hands off you and it took everything in you not to grab them tight and hold onto him.

”You were just trying to get yourself out of a difficult situation,” Michael spoke,”I’m not mad, I never was. What happened…happened.”

His kindness only made you feel even more sad.

“And it all turned out for the best, I guess?” he then added,”Ben’s gone, you’re free of him. And of me…and I’m no longer a virgin. We all won in the end, didn’t we?”

“Did we?” you sighed quietly.

Michael’s eyes rested on yours, genuinely confused by your words,”Are you sure you’re okay? You don’t…seem okay.”

You bit your lip but it was too late, tears had started falling from your eyes and you couldn’t stop them. You did your best to wipe them away quickly.

Michael stepped closer to you, looking deeper into your eyes while hesitantly placing a hand back on your waist,”What’s wrong? You can tell me.”

You bit your lip and shook your head, looking down to avoid his eyes but Michael placed a hand in your neck and forced you to look at him.

“Tell me,” he insisted, softer.

You nodded but then shook your head,”Not here.”

“Okay,” Michael agreed,”Your place or mine?”

“Yours,” you whispered.

***

Michael’s room was as immaculately clean as ever, some things clearly never changed. His suitcase was packed next to the bed, ready to leave Oxford, and you, behind.

“I’d offer you some tea but I already packed everything, I’m sorry,” Michael apologized,”Was going to head on home right after graduation.”

“You weren’t going to stay and celebrate?”

“With who?” he laughed bitterly and sat down on the sofa, eyes avoiding yours. You followed his lead and sat down next to him.

“I’m glad you got the job,” you said to break the silence between you two.

Michael nodded. “I’m not sure if it’s what I want yet.”

“Why not?” you asked surprised.

He shrugged.”It’s a big corporate firm, biggest of the country, I’d be settled for life if I do well there but…I don’t know, been thinking a lot about life and what I want lately.”

You looked at him and he didn’t hesitate to look back this time,”Being with you changed me, Y/N,” he then confessed,”I know that’s not what you want to hear but…it's a good thing. Even if it didn't end the way I'd hoped. The change is still good, and I'll never be sorry.”

“Being with you changed me too,” you confessed, shutting him up,”I’ve been trying to deny it for so long because...it's scary as fuck. But you were right, being with the right person should change you.”

Michael held your gaze, his lips curling up into the tiniest of smiles.”I was the right person for you?” he then whispered.

You nodded, unable to deny it any longer.”I think you still might be,” you sighed.

Michael didn’t speak, he only stared at you for the longest time with a serious expression on his face.

“I miss you,” you added in a whisper, tears forming in your eyes but they didn’t get a chance to fall this time because Michael caught them. His hand gently cupped your cheek, thumb brushing your skin and then he pressed his lips to yours in a soft lingering kiss.

“I miss you too,” he breathed,”Missed you every day since you left.”

He kissed you again, deeper this time, his tongue searching for yours and when you moaned into the kiss his hands moved down to your waist, pulling you close to him.

Your arms wrapped around his neck, pulling him down on top of you on the couch and he followed eagerly, lips never leaving yours as he took his rightful spot in between your legs, where he belonged.

You kissed for several minutes, making up for lost time. Michael’s weight on you felt so perfect, his hands were soft as they made their way underneath your dress, pulling your panties down, just enough so he could slip his fingers underneath the thin fabric. 

You moaned his name when he started circling your clit, hips bucking up against his hand immediately, seeking his touch.

“Please,” you whimpered,”Please, I need you.”

“Hmm, I can tell,” Michael smirked,”My fingers are soaking wet and I’ve barely touched you, you missed me that much, sweetheart?”

You couldn’t help but smile in relief at the use of his pet name and the sudden confidence in him,”Yes,” you confessed,”I’ve missed you that much.”

The big grin on Michael’s face made you smile even more and just before he was about to slip a finger inside of you, you grabbed his hand to stop him, eyes locking with his.”No, not your hand this time,” you breathed and leaned in to whisper into his ear,”I need your cock.”

Michael whimpered at your words. You could have cried with how good it felt to hear those sounds coming out of his mouth again. You kissed him and your hands moved down over his ass, pushing his pants down and freeing his erection. You didn’t want to waste any more time so your hand wrapped around his length to stroke him, slow but firm, making him moan and whimper some more.

“Fuck, you’re killing me,” Michael whined,”I need…I need to be inside of you, please.”

You bit your lip and smiled, pressing your forehead to his.”I forgot how pretty you are when you beg,” you teased him, aligning the head of his cock with your entrance. 

For a long moment neither of you moved, Michael just looked at you, his eyes filled with so much longing. His thumb brushed your chin and then he placed a featherlight kiss to your lips.

“Open up to me,” he whispered and you obeyed, opening your mouth to allow him to kiss you deeper. He pushed his tongue inside of you at the same time his cock slipped into your welcoming walls.

He didn’t fuck you right away, instead he took his time just kissing you, slow and deep while he bottomed out, filling you up to the hilt. You tried to move your hips but Michael’s hand kept you in place. You wouldn’t be able to stand it for much longer, you needed friction, needed to feel him.

“Shhh,” he shook his head,”Stop fighting me.”

You whimpered in protest but nodded your head.

“Why did you come looking for me today?” he then asked.

“Michael,” you whined,”Seriously, you wanna talk now?”

“Answer the question,” he insisted.

“Fuck,” you breathed,”You know why.”

He gently cupped your cheek, taking the time to control his own breathing. You knew he was struggling just as much as you were but he seemed determined to see this through.

“Want to hear you say it,” he whispered.

“I missed you,” you confessed.

“Me? Or my cock?”

“Both.”

He couldn’t stop himself from smiling at your answer.“So, what? You want one last good fuck before we both go our separate ways and you tell me to fuck off again?” he then asked and with that question his confidence crumbled. 

And suddenly it was all you could see, not the confident man but that shy insecure boy who’d never been kissed, who turned your world upside down just by being his weird, amazing self. The boy who always said the absolute wrong thing at the wrong time. He was still right there.

The boy who fundamentally changed you. Your lips curled up into a smile and you shook your head.

“No,” you cupped his face with both hands,”I don’t want one good fuck. I want all of them, every single day, from now on, with you. If you still want me.”

Michael’s eyes closed in a heavy, relieved sigh as he leaned into you, letting you pull him into your arms.

“I still want you,” he breathed. 

It didn’t take long after that for him to finally start moving, bucking his hips against yours, slowly but with an undeniable desperation to it. The both of you were clinging to each other, breathing in each other’s moans and then Michael took up the pace, fucking you deeper and faster.

It didn’t take long for you to fall apart and Michael followed suit quickly, spilling himself deep inside of you with another delicious whine before he collapsed in your arms.

The room was quiet after that, nothing but your heavy breaths mingling and Michael’s heartbeat fast against yours. He kissed your jaw and your neck, lazy and soft until he could feel you smile against his cheek. He took off his fogged up glasses to look at you properly, the happiest of smiles on his face, warming your heart.

“So, got any plans for the summer?” you asked.

“Yeah, I do now,” he smirked before placing another lingering kiss in your neck,”You.”

[phan3145]

Title: Slippery Slope. Fandom: Kingdom of the Planet of the Apes. Rating: T. ( Cursing, Implications, Intensity) Pairing: Eventual Noa x Human!Reader.

***Notes: So good to be back! I do not have another chapter in the bank, but I will be writing as fast as I possibly can to give you guys regular updates! Also, you have no idea how much Epic: The Wisdom Saga is inspiring future content of this story. I hope you all enjoy this chapter, please leave thoughts and comments, I love reading them! It’s good to be back 😊

Chapter 11: Together Strong

Noa

By the time he had finished, remembering as much as he could about her year as a pet, he felt worse than he had before. His fists were clenched so tightly now, that the object in his hand had started to cut into his skin. As he spoke, Soona and Anaya listened quietly, their eyes speaking volumes about what they were feeling. During his time searching for his clan, Soona and Anaya had been prisoners of Proximus. He knew nothing but freedom, they on the other hand, knew what it meant to be caged. What had been a few days for them, in slightly better conditions, had been a year for their Echo. He could only imagine the way she felt, but Soona and Anaya could understand.

Soona spoke first, breaking the momentary silence, “Explains…much.”

He nodded, eyes glancing over to see Anaya returned to his hunched position, his right hand outstretched in front of him. His Sunset Brother was quiet, only staring at his open palm. He did not understand why. Again, for Anaya to be so silent, worried him. He hooted a few times, attempting to get Anaya’s attention, but he just closed his eyes, head bowing. Another moment passed before Anaya sighed deeply through his nose, palm clenching suddenly into a closed fist.

“Wrong,” Anaya murmured. Soona’s head turned, looking towards Anaya in silent support. She carefully placed her hand on his shoulder, Anaya’s hand coming up in a quick motion to hold hers there. It was a surprising and strangely intimate moment between them, though Anaya would not look at her. He refused to look at either of them, actually. Anaya was working through something, and he knew it…he just did not know what it was.

He felt himself tilt his head in observation of his Sunset Brother, who never thought about his words or actions. He lived his life unburdened, as if he were still a youngling, something even Proximus had been unable to steal from him. Now, he noticed a different side to him, that perhaps was always there, and he had just never been able to see it. Or, there had just never been moments like this for him to show it. Anaya was thinking, deeply, fist slowly unclenching as he made a decision. Anaya gently released Soona’s hand, standing to his full height.

The three of them had moved to the floor of the tower as the weight of their Echo’s story threatened to overwhelm all of them. Each time he thought he could not go on, they would sit and wait patiently for him to continue. Now, as Anaya stood, he rose to join him, noticing his Sunset Brother’s posture was taller than he had ever seen him. The curve to his shoulders was gone, his slightly arched back perfectly straight. This was not on accident, as Anaya turned, his teeth were bared at him. “You should have…told us…you were wrong…you are wrong Noa.”

His stance and words were a surprise, but he already fought one friend today, he could not fight another. He would not. He did not bow, but he did not bare his teeth in return. He nodded, “I was wrong…was worried…the elders-”

“Elders!” Anaya interrupted with a growl. “Elders…are not you…are not Master of Birds…you lead…us…not…them.”

Soona hooted in agreement, “You do not…have to listen…to them Noa.”

He huffed, stepping away and turning his back to his united siblings, arguing, “To ignore their wisdom…ignore their guidance…to put an Echo above the Clan…would make me…a terrible leader.”

“Do you…feel like a good leader…now?” Anaya challenged.

That stopped him. He could not move, the gravity of the question binding him to the very wood beneath his feet. He did not feel like a good leader…then again he never did. He had no experience, no training, and no choice. After Proximus, every member of the clan bowed to him, the one who never once bowed to the tyrant king. It was unexpected, but the elders agreed Noa was the only suitable ape to take up the mantle once they returned home. Apes of course, always sought the strongest branch, sought the strongest ape to lead the clan. He had set himself apart, and inadvertently hurled himself up in rank. His bloodline did nothing but solidify the Clan’s choice as well. Koro’s son, son of the Master of Birds, his rightful successor.

He swallowed the collection of saliva that had rapidly gathered in his mouth, turning again to face Anaya and Soona. He wanted to speak, but could not form the words as he stood there. He could not confess his true fears, confess what he had been trying so hard to deny and hide. He was not the leader everyone wanted him to be. He was jumbled, unsure of himself and how to move forward. He adopted Caesar’s beliefs because he knew that he could never go back to how narrowly he viewed the world around him before. Life was more complicated than that. Ape and humans, were more complicated than that. Caesar knew this, understood it, and he was only starting to learn about it.

He would never be his father, he could not be. Koro was content to leave things as they were, iron faith placed in their traditions and way of life. Not him, he wanted more- yearned to know more. He could not be a leader like Caesar, a leader of legend that spanned generations, always sure of himself and his place in the world. He doubted himself all the time, and ever since meeting their Echo, it only became worse. He only knew how to be himself, trust his instincts and mind to guide him.

Now, those instincts told him to do one thing, while his mind argued the exact opposite. His earlier argument was proof of his inability to understand like Caesar, or to be loyal like his father. He felt his thumb absentmindedly rub against the object in his hand as he processed his own thoughts. It felt oddly freeing, finally allowing himself to admit what he had denied for so long. The weight was still there, but it seemed more manageable with the truth fully acknowledged.

He locked eyes with Anaya then, who waited patiently for him to speak. The truth seemed to be the answer to his struggle, so perhaps that was the only thing he could say now that would make sense. “I do not…know how to be…what everyone needs…me to be.”

Soona’s eyes widened a fraction, glancing between the two males in front of her. Anaya covered his teeth, voice returning to the familiar tone he had grown up with, though his stance did not change as he explained, “Anaya has been with you…since the day of our birth…will be here…until the day one of us…no longer breathes…you only need…to be yourself…not Master of Birds…not Eagle Clan leader…just Noa.”

He avoided Anaya’s eyes then, suddenly feeling unworthy of his Sunset Brother’s loyalty. That’s when he noticed the object clasped tightly in his hand. It was the crown he had made. Had he been holding it this entire time? It was warm from his touch, so he must have been. Even running after Anaya, he held carried it as reverently and carefully as he would have an egg…up hill and into the Eagle enclosure. During his retelling of their Echo’s story, he had been holding it like a youngling’s favorite toy, clutching it tightly to his chest and allowing it to comfort him.

Anaya moved towards him, his gait confident as he gripped Noa’s arm, the one holding the crown. He raised it to be eye level with both of them, Anaya glancing at the gift before shifting his focus back to him. “Brother…friend…builder…crafter…thinker…clever ape…be those things…that is all…we need…was enough before…is enough…now…be Noa.”

He felt the breath release from his chest, Anaya’s words striking at the bad thoughts in his mind like he would a boar. He needed that reminder, no matter how challenging it had been to accept. Anaya believing in him as he was, it gave him the strength he needed to think about the future. To think about how he would fix things with their Echo. Until then, he clasped Anaya’s arm, pulling him in to brush foreheads. He felt Anaya’s other hand come up to pat him on the back, Soona soon joining them in their reconciliation. She hugged Anaya from behind, the weight of both of them knocking him back a step before he caught his balance.

Soona raised an arm over Anaya’s shoulder to brush her knuckles against his temple, blowing a raspberry before agreeing, “Apes together…strong…we are…with you…Noa.”

He nodded, “Will try…to be worthy…of your loyalty…will try…to earn Echo…forgiveness.”

The moment was broken suddenly when Anaya sniffed loudly, gently brushing Soona off of him and taking a few steps towards the open archway. He stopped, turning to ask, “Noa…what is…human word…Mae taught you?”

He was confused. Then the familiar scents hit his own nose, followed by the sound of creaking wood, as many apes made their way to Eagle tower. He felt his muscles tense, the hair along his hackles threatening to rise, “Shit.”

“Yes,” Anaya said, nodding rapidly as his gaze remained on the open arch. “That is the word.”

Soona arched up onto her toes to see the five bodies rounding the corner. She made haste to pull Anaya to the side, calling, “We will…be here…silent.”

His nose wrinkled at the thought, but he remained in place as the elders entered, looking displeased. He huffed once, greeting them with respect, “Elder Luna…Elder Tane…Elder Bhai…Elder Asani…Elder Moros.”

Each elder bowed their head to Noa as he addressed them. Elder Moros stepped forward amongst the five, the one elected to speak on their behalf. The rest of the elders descended to the floor, and Noa followed Moros as he chose to seat himself as well. He respected their need to sit and rest at their age. Elder Luna turned her head, spotting Soona and Anaya off to the side, nodding her head once and raising a hand discreetly in greeting. Soona returned the gesture nervously, before going completely still.

Elder Moros huffed, “There was talk of…a great disturbance…in the village…one the Master of Birds…quickly moved to the…Eagle Tower.”

He saw Anaya shrink next the Soona, shoulders once more taking on that familiar curve as she attempted to comfort him. He avoided staring too long, not wanting to alert the elders of their presence just yet. Instead he hummed, “Yes.”

Elder Moros raised his brows, “I hope it has been…dealt with…there were whispers…it was about…an Echo…your Echo?”

He raised his head a little higher, “It was…the matter is finished…but the Echo…she is not…here.”

There were disturbed hoots from several of the elders behind Elder Moros, who sniffed, “We believed…Echo would show…today…Eagle Sun was seen…returning without you…so the village…could prepare…was this untrue?”

He felt his hackles begin to rise, and with a curled fist he confessed, “It was not…I brought her…to the edge of the village…but she ran.”

More whispers and hoots from the elders, Elder Luna the only one to remain silent before Elder Moros raised his hand to command quiet. “Echo…ran…this is unusual…concerning…I must insist once more…you give up this pursuit…of the first elder…and leave this Echo…to be chased away…least she bring…destruction upon us…as the last one did.”

“His name was Caesar!” Anaya snapped as he stepped forward, Soona tugging at his arm in a useless attempt to stop him. “And this Echo should be of no more concern to you…than a butterfly…she does not deserve to be chased away…she is kind, and true, and has taught us much since…since meeting her…we…we know more….and she…she is not dangerous father…E-Elder Moros.”

Anaya’s speech began to slow and lose its authority as Elder Moros stood. The slip in title caused a spike of fear to trail up his own spine. Anaya’s father, Elder Moros, did not claim him often as his son, though it was true. His mate was older, much like Moros himself, when Anaya was conceived. The pregnancy was a surprise that went well enough, as the previous ones had, but there were complications after birth due to her age. She died before a full lunar cycle had passed, and Elder Moros wanted nothing to do with the youngling that he believed caused the death of his mate.

That was another reason the three of them had been inseparable. Moros and Koro had been lifelong friends, and while Koro did not condone the treatment of Anaya by his father, he knew the only thing he could do was take in the abandoned chimp and hope Moros would eventually see reason. Dar, and Soona’s mother Lyra, had taken turns nursing him as a baby, and they were raised as brothers under Dar’s care. Moros had been fine with this arrangement, occasionally acknowledging Anaya as they grew together, but more often than not keeping his distance and focusing on his duties within the clan.

In all that time, he had never seen Anaya say more than a few words to Elder Moros, let alone speak against him. His father took a few steps towards Anaya, forcing his son to bow his head in a clear show of respect. Anaya held his arm out to push back and shield Soona from his father’s potential ire. Elder Moros was indifferent as he spoke, “I see you are still…causing a disturbance…regarding this echo…if she wants to run…we should let her run…dangerous or not.”

He saw Anaya bare his teeth then, brows furrowing as he pushed back from the alcove, standing straight once more, fully concealing Soona’s form in the process. “She is scared…she is true Echo…she accepts and cares…for apes…who treat her…with respect.”

“What respect…does an Echo deserve?” Elder Moros snarled. “You speak of respect…yet you should not…be here…you are not welcome…among the Elders.”

Anaya lowered his head again, hurt swirling in his eyes. Elder Moros scoffed at Anaya, clearly satisfied with himself and Anaya’s submission, but the words and actions crossed a line with him. A line he would not abide. He stepped in between the two, chest to chest with Elder Moros, who took a large step back as he surged forward. “He is welcome…maybe not by elders…but Anaya and Soona both …are welcome among…the Master of Birds.”

One hand reached for Anaya, the other for Soona, guiding them by the shoulders to his spot in the center of the room, facing the elders. He placed Anaya to his right, and Soona to his left. Anaya faced Elder Asani, and Soona faced Elder Luna, who could not hide a smile upon noticing that his Sunset Brother and Sister were being forcibly recognized. Elder Moros looked shocked and somewhat unsettled. Good. He did not spare him a second glance, announcing, “I will no longer hear words…regarding the Echo and her…strange behavior…she will be met when…or if…she ever decides to enter the village…of her own free will…I have spoken with her…on many occasions…have learned from her…have much respect for her…will not let apes who do not…speak of her intent…I trust her…that is the end.”

Elder Moros huffed, “You trust other Echo…and she killed many apes…selfish in her own…pursuit of freedom.”

“She was not selfish,” Soona challenged, surprising everyone present. “She was forced to act…to do what she thought…best…Proximus was the threat…and that was without…the human weapons…she possessed.”

“Such loyalty…to a dishonorable…Echo,” Elder Moros spat, teeth slightly visible. “Do you not remember…your own mother was swept away…by her ex-plo-sion weapon?”

“I do remember,” Soona replied calmly. “I also recall my father…beaten and killed by Proximus apes…starving and too weak to fight back…I remember…Mae saved my life…saved our lives…killing another human…to protect us…to free us…you can not…call her selfish…while I breathe.”

This shocked even him. They never spoke about the flood, of Mae’s betrayal while they all fought to survive against the incoming water. Soona always seemed as though she did not care for Mae, but apparently there were more complex feelings for the human than Soona had let on. She was not alone apparently, Anaya arguing, “She did more…to free us…to free Eagle Clan...without apes dying…but Proximus…smarter…no other way…to stop him.”

“Noa stopped…Proximus.” Elder Asani spoke from behind Elder Moros.

He shook his head sadly, “I planned…to flood the vault…lead clan away from kingdom…while Proximus was distracted…it did not happen…as we planned.”

This surprised many elders, a harsh silence engulfing the group. Much like the elders of the past, they did not ask questions about that day in Proximus’ kingdom. They did not want to know. Their desire to return home, to forget what they had experienced, had caught up with them. They could not argue against the truth, which they had chosen to ignore. Elder Moros would not be deterred it seemed, snarling, “It was still…the Echo’s fault…she chose herself…over the many…Echos can not be trusted...this is why for many generations…we chase…the pests away.”

The loud hiss to his right made him jump, Anaya pushing himself forward onto his knees as he growled, “She is not…a pest…does not deserve…to be called one.”

“You dare speak…on what this Echo…does not deserve!” Elder Moros accused. He had never personally heard the elder raise his voice before, feeling the tension in the room grow now, as father and son were suddenly face to face, inches apart. “You have spent…time with her…so speak true…what does this secretive Echo deserve…from apes of the Eagle Clan?”

Anaya did not hesitate, eyes unblinking and lips firmly over his teeth as he gritted out, “Your…respect.”

Elder Moros sniffed, leaning back into his sitting position and turning away from Anaya, “You have…more of my respect…than Echo pest ever will.”

“Enough!”

The room shook from the resounding vibrations of the shout, the few eagles within the sanctuary screeching and taking flight to find their bonded-ape within the village. The quiet and stillness that followed made him uneasy, but when he noticed all eyes were on him, he realized the shout had come from him. He was standing now, towering over the others as they all bowed their heads. Elder Moros, while reluctant, also bowed his head, keeping his gaze on the floor below him.

Soona was the first to raise her head, gaze finding his and silently questioning if he was alright. He gave a single nod, breathing harshly once through his nose to clear his mind. This is exactly what he had tried to prevent. Their Echo knew…she knew all along. Apes would not accept her just because he said so, apes like Elder Moros would also find fault with her simply for being an Echo. Still, he would not give up. Anaya was right, she deserved more than this.

He would not let his Clan become like them.

“Hear me now,” he began, waiting for all heads to raise. When he had their attention, he continued, “This Echo is not a threat…not a danger to the clan…she is…more…she is as first elder was…she teaches about fairness…kindness…equality…and humanity…something that has been dying…from her race.”

“What is…humanity?” Elder Tane asked.

He was not sure how to answer that. He only knew what it was, because he knew their Echo. She was humanity, the best of all qualities found in her species. He opened his mouth, words ready to tumble forth, when his gaze shifted to a bowl resting on a table to his left. All thoughts ceased. His attention was caught by bright red berry and sap mixture they used to create nest binding. His brows creased and lips pursed as he carefully scooped up the bowl, an idea forming in his mind. He paced over to the nearby wall, grunting once as he explained, “Humanity…is complicated…it means many things…from what I have learned…sometimes it is about…doing what is right…when right seems wrong…showing kindness…when kindness has not been shown to you.”

There were confused looks from a few, but he knew they were listening. Soona smiled at him, nodding her head once, urging him to keep going. He dipped his fingers in the bowl, careful not to drip the red mixture as he pulled them out. He looked to the wood in front of him, gliding his fingers in long arcs across the smooth surface. He quickly swiped left to right, right to left, to create the diamond in the center of a larger circle. Below the circle, he was about to write an A, but stopped himself just before his fingers made contact with the wood. He pulled his hand back quickly to hover over the bowl, wondering why he was hesitating now.

Then, he remembered Raka’s words. His voice was loud in his head. His words not so different from Caesar…but more evolved. He continued writing, speaking to the apes at his back, “The symbols have meaning…and this is what…the Echo has taught me…what we have learned…since she…saved my life.”

He drew a long line underneath the words, only now realizing and hoping that he spelled it correctly. He turned, facing the stunned elders now. He found Soona’s gaze, nodding once as she read out, “T-O-G-E-T-H-E-R….S-T-R-O-N-G…”

“Together…strong,” he answered. “This is the…al-pha-bet…humans used symbols…to record…their history…to preserve…what they knew…we are learning…and we can learn more…they are not lesser…we are not better…only together…can we be…more.”

Elder Luna stood, shuffling towards where he stood. She traced several letters with her hand, looking forlornly at the wall before turning to him. “You expect much…Master of Birds…we are too old…to learn the ways of…hu-man-ity.”

He sighed through his nose, jaw slackening as he felt his hope sink. Elder Luna, ever full of surprises, turned back to the Elders present, “Does not mean…Eagle Clan can not learn…Master of Birds…can help them…evolve.”

“We should…discuss this,” Elder Moros argued. “That is what…elder council…is for.”

“It is clear,” Elder Luna huffed. “Master of Birds…does not need…our council…has…his own.”

Elder Luna gestured to Anaya and Soona, both appearing shocked, exchanging looks with each other, as she voiced her observation. Elder Bhai nodded his head, sniffing, “We are…not needed…seems…younglings have…outgrown…their elders.”

“We are allowing young ape…to make decisions for Eagle Clan?” Elder Moros challenged, “Ignoring…generations of…wisdom and tradition…Echo had this knowledge…yet they are…nearly gone…you think…ape will survive…from their ways…when they…could not?”

The elders began to mumble amongst themselves. He quickly stepped in, before Elder Moros’ words could cause an unnecessary rift, “Elders are still…needed…respected…Anaya and Soona are…my Caesar Council…they understand new ways…as I do…Elder Council knows…the old ways…we need both if the Clan…is to survive…from this point onward.”

Elder Luna hummed, “I agree…with Master of Birds…what say…the rest?”

There was a long stretch of silence, before Elder Asani let out a screech of approval. She repeated the sound, followed by Elder Luna. Elder Bhai seemed hesitant, but soon screeched as loudly as the other two. There was a steady chorus of repeating sounds, enough for Soona to feel confident adding her hooting to the fray. Elder Tane took some convincing, glancing between Elder Moros and the rest of the group. Elder Tane glanced his way, the eye contact sparking resolve within the ape. He stood, screeching the loudest and beating his chest with a closed fist.

This surprised him, a shocked gasp passing between his lips as he took a step back, the gift he made for their Echo still held tightly in his hand. Would she be proud of them for this? Would she join in with a yell of her own if she were here? He wanted that- in the future. He was suddenly overwhelmed with ideas of how she could make better the Eagle Clan, make better their home. He had to physically shake himself, trying to stay focused on the apes before him. Only two remained silent…well, half silent. Anaya was still seated, glaring his father down as he kept a thumping tempo, his fist steady on the floor. The harsh pounding of wood added to the overwhelming sound around the enclosure, and feeling the tension rise within the room, Anaya’s father finally relented.

Elder Moros leapt to his feet, screeching his solidarity with the rest of the elders. That’s all it took for the room to suddenly fall silent. He held his head high, nodding once and grunting his acknowledgment, eyes scanning over all present in the room. Elder Tane huffed, “We shall…leave…the Master of Birds…and his…Caesar Council.”

Elder Luna placed a gentle hand on his shoulder, giving a small pat before following the rest of the elders out. Elder Moros still did not seem pleased, but would not dare go against a council decision. Soona’s eyes kept darting between the retreating elders and himself, waiting a breath or two once they were gone before launching herself at him. She hooted happily, wrapping her arms around his shoulders while he clutched her tightly, howling his own amusement.

He expected a third to join them, to hit his right side and cause them all to nearly topple to the ground. When the blow never came, he searched his surroundings. He came up empty handed, even checking behind him. While Soona still celebrated, he breathed out, “Anaya…where…where Anaya?”

Soona seemed confused by his question, releasing him to mimic his previous action. She turned all the way in a circle, looking about the enclosure but coming to the same conclusion as him, “…Gone.”

He could not understand. Where would Anaya go? Why would he leave without speaking to him, or Soona. She looked more hurt by his disappearance than he was, shuffling over to the archway of the enclosure to look out into the clearing. He joined her, looking for the familiar hunched shoulders and swaying walk of his Sunset Brother. Perhaps it had to do with his father, knowing that the indifference, or disappointment, of one’s father could weigh heavily on an ape.

Soona’s cry pierced his thoughts as she pointed frantically towards the stables. There, carrying a torch as his horse passed the stables and galloped quickly into the forest, was Anaya. He grunted, huffing, “Dark soon…why…where would he…go?”

Soona hummed in thought, head swiveling left and right for a moment before her startled gaze locked on his, “Echo!”

His eyes widened, “He would not…so late.”

“You would…take that risk?” Soona argued, “He could…make it worse…dark…Echo is…sensitive…one or both…could get hurt.”

He sighed, agreeing, “Will bring him…home…do not…speak of this.”

Soona shook her head, “Never….please Noa…be careful.”

He nodded, hunching onto all fours to race down the enclosure. He noticed most apes were already at the communal bonfire, the smell of food temporarily distracting him. He shook himself, pacing towards his horse. Only Anaya could un-jumble him into accepting himself as leader, speaking with wisdom beyond his years, and then force him to chase and drag him home like a newborn. It would be humorous if it was not so troublesome. The longer his mind wandered, trying to reason where Anaya might go, the more he realized there was only one place he would go during sunset on horseback. The worst part, was that Anaya had a head start on him. He could only hope their Echo was shut-in her shelter for the night, and would refuse to acknowledge Anaya.

That thought suddenly made his stomach burn. Anaya cared a great deal about their Echo, and he did too. The thought of her ignoring him, leaving him alone outside wanting to speak with her…it brought a twinge of despair into his heart. It reminded him of his own problem. How would he approach her in the future? She would not stay mad forever. Could not.

He lifted himself onto the saddle of his horse, trying to be as discreet as possible, until he made it to the edge of the clearing. He reached forward, using his palm to trace a circle on his horse’s neck before patting it three times. The signal was well received, and once he made sure they were headed in the right direction, he dug his heels in and whipped the reigns. His horse took off in a full sprint towards the creek.

A flapping noise next to him caught his attention, finding Eagle Sun gliding alongside him. He was surprised, knowing he did not care for night flights. He must sense his own distress, wanting to go with him as a form of protection. The ride was never short, but with his mind racing with what he could possibly say, what he could potentially walk into…he had arrived far too soon. Eagle Sun glided to the top of the Echo’s stone structure, disappearing from sight. Again, he dismissed the bird’s actions, climbing down from his horse and tying the reigns to the usual branch. It was funny, that he had established a favored branch, realizing just how often he had come to their Echo’s home. A high pitched whine somewhere in the distance distracted him for a moment, but he ignored it in favor of finding Anaya.

He spotted his horse next to the entrance of the Echo’s home, but did not see Anaya or his torch. There was a small crack of space in the Echo’s door, but he could not fit himself through it. He could only smell the smoke from her fire and see the light reflecting inside. He pounded on the stone, calling their Echo’s name, hoping she would respond. He waited, but there was nothing. He thought for a moment he heard shuffling towards the door, hooting in delight, but when no one responded, he called her name again.

Eagle Sun returned then, soaring overhead and looping back towards the side of the rocks. He recalled the hole in the ground, her other entrance that he was not particularly fond of. Was she back there? Was Anaya? Perhaps she did not want to lift the rock so late…it would make sense to go the other way.

He was careful of his footing in the dark, shadows playing tricks amongst the rocks and causing him to stumble once. His suspicions were confirmed when he saw Anaya’s torch staked into the ground nearby. He rounded the corner, and what he found unleashed a storm of emotions within him.

Their Echo was laying on the ground, her entire body flush on the dirt. Her legs curled together, turned sideways to avoid the ape that was above her. Anaya was standing above her, crouched low on his haunches, with his hands buried in their Echo’s hair. Her own hands and arms were outstretched above her head, laying limply.

He was only distracted from the scene when she turned her face away from Anaya, to look directly at him. Her eyes were wet, like they had been that day in the library, and her face was light red. He did not know what was happening, or what her human features meant, but there was something he could see in her eyes that looked desperate. They were pleading, for what, he was not sure. Still, he did the only thing that made sense.

Following his instincts, he paced towards the two, growling, “Anaya!”

Said ape practically leapt away from the too still Echo, avoiding his gaze and bowing his head. He hooted, “Hello…Noa.”

He growled somewhere deep in his chest, turning away from Anaya, scenting the air as he approached their Echo. She would not move from her place on the ground, but had raised herself into a sitting position at least. She too avoided his gaze, wrapping her arms around her bent knees as he continued to try to decipher the situation before him. It was frustrating, all he could smell was Anaya…and a faint trace of blood.

He wanted to get angry, to attack Anaya for causing harm to their Echo, but he could not find any traces of blood on her. Not her face, her hands, her feet, or even on her clothing. He could not find any proof that Anaya was responsible for the blood smell, but he would not meet his eye and that made him suspicious. He did not understand what he had walked into, and neither ape nor human were speaking!

He huffed, crouching down to be eye level with their Echo. She stared at him now, looking as frightened as she had the day they first met. But why? Did she think he was still angry with her? He tried to smile, offering her his hand, “You are…alright?”

She looked at his open palm, eyes darting to Anaya before returning to him. He turned to see Anaya standing a good distance away from both of them, shifting nervously. When he returned his gaze to her, she simply shook her head and arched slightly away from him. This surprised him, his frustration growing now the longer the silence stretched on.

He stood, ready to demand answers, but Anaya interrupted before he could speak, “Echo…does not want…to speak right now…will meet Noa tomorrow…by water rock…Anaya will…show him the way.”

He grunted, another low rumble emanating from his chest before he asked again, “Echo is…alright…not hurt?”

He noticed a slight tremor to her shoulders before she chose to sign, Echo fine. Speak tomorrow.

He turned from her to Anaya several times, puffing out a frustrated breath, “Fine…Anaya and I…leave now…return home…understand?”

Anaya nodded, and so did their Echo, still on the ground. He turned his head, asking, “On ground but…not hurt…can stand?”

Another brief exchange between her and Anaya, causing him to drive his canines into his gums. Why does she keep looking to him? She carefully stands, as if moving is difficult for her. Once they are nearly chest to chest, face to face, she signs again, Echo fine. Speak tomorrow. Goodnight.

It was a dismissal…one he was not happy with, but would accept for now. He nodded, grunting, “We go…now.”

He backed away from their Echo, watching Anaya follow behind him. Just as they were about to round the corner into darkness, he heard her call out, “Anaya!”

Both of them turned to face her, one in confusion and the other in shock, watching as she practically sprinted to Anaya. She threw her arms around him, smashing her body against his, getting as physically close as she possibly could. Anaya did not seem surprised by this, returning her embrace and resting his chin on the top of her head. He stood there, feeling cold suddenly, though the freezing season was far off yet.

Another breath or two and she was releasing Anaya, staring up at him in silence. He was looking down at her with that same expression, something soundless passing between them. Then she whispered, so quietly he would have missed it had he not been watching her so intently, “Thank you.”

Anaya raised his hand to pat the top of her head. He rested it there a moment before humming, “Anything…for Echo.”

She laughed. She laughed as if nothing was wrong, as if they had not fought before sunset, as if he was not standing there at all! Anger was returning, and he shoved it away, believing Anaya would explain on the way home. Their Echo released Anaya, eyes finally landing on him. The brief happiness he had seen in her gaze was extinguished like a flame, another emotion taking its place. That same one he could not understand, something powerful, but sad and scared as well. Why? She had never looked at him that way before. She gave him a slight nod, before turned and made her way towards her hole in the ground.

Anaya was watching him watch her, feeling his Sunset Brother’s eyes roam over his face. He turned his head sharply, catching Anaya off guard. He jumped back, clearly surprised. Before he could say anything, Anaya began walking, “Yes…we go…go home now.”

He took a deep breath, letting out a long sigh through his nose. He did not know why, but something about what he just saw bothered him. It made the skin under his fur feel irritated. It felt like a colony of ants had burrowed under his fur and were biting him mercilessly. He did not like this feeling, and he did not like that Anaya was the one their Echo was talking to. Why did she not speak with him? It was obvious she could speak, so why? Was it because she was still angry with him? Had he hurt her so much that she would purposely ignore him and talk with Anaya instead? Touch Anaya, in an affectionate way she had never shown him before? As they mounted their respective horses, he was reminded of Anaya’s words he had spoken in the Eagle Tower.

You are not…the only one…who speaks with her.

His chest felt tight then. Watching Anaya bring his horse forward to ride alongside his, he realized how true that statement was. She had trusted him with her story, but she had also trusted Anaya with some of it. She trusted Anaya tonight, more than she did him. Had that always been the case? If not, when had it started? When had Anaya surpassed him?

Anaya did not speak, and the silence made him practically pant for answers. It was clumsy, but he asked, “Echo…was different…what happened…while you two…spoke?”

Anaya refused to look at him, focused on the path ahead. He simply grunted, “We…bonded.”

“Bonded?” He repeated, hoping Anaya would say more. When he did not, he prodded, “Bond…like with Eagle?”

Anaya shook his head, but did not say anything more. This angered him further, and he lost his tact as he spoke, “Smelled blood…on Echo…smelled you…on Echo.”

Anaya jerked his head towards him then, “Anaya…did too…could not…find it…looked…very close.”

He snarled, “Is that why…you were crouched…on top of her?”

Anaya’s eyes squinted, a small amount, but enough to let him know that his Sunset Brother understood what he was implying. “Did not…hurt Echo…would not hurt her…or betray her trust.”

That caught him off guard, it was such a strange thing to say. He calmed a bit, wondering, “What were…you doing?”

There was a long stretch of silence before Anaya confessed, “Helping…Echo.”

“Helping?” He repeated again, not understanding. “How were…you helping…Echo does not like to be…too close to ape.”

Anaya turned his head away from him, growling, “Noa thinks…he knows everything…but you do not know…Echo like you think…you do.”

“If you have…something to say,” he began. “Then…speak up.”

Anaya still refused to look at him as he said, “Echo is not…only yours…do not…treat her like…she is.”

“I do not,” he defended. “Echo belongs…to no one.”

Anaya huffed once, humming, “Anaya thinks… you should…remember that…in the future.”

[avatarloverfrfr]

Dreamwalker Siblings

Chapter II: Uniltirantokx Tsmuktu. Previous Chapter Masterlist Summary: Y/n and Jake Sully. Siblings, shipped off into the depths of space to explore the mysterious world of Pandora. Warnings: Constant mentions of headaches. Mention of needles. Word count: 2,01k

Opening my eyes, expecting to find myself in the windowless compound I had confined my body the day before, I'm met with the sight of sunlight beaming through multiple windows. Frantically glancing down, I discover my hands still tinged with the same blue hue as my Avatar from the previous day, moving my hands around in disbelief.

Suddenly hit with the same pain I had the previous day, but this time the feeling tenfold worse. My hands instinctively reach to cradle my head, as if my hands were protecting my head from whatever pain was causing my head to ache.

This can't be happening! I was suppose to disconnect from this body. Thoughts started to race through my mind, while my brain simply couldn't catch up before being hit with another wave of pain.

As I stagger out of bed, a wave of agony crashes over me, each pulse feeling like a bullet piercing my skull. Struggling to maintain balance, I attempt to walk, but with each step, the pressure in my head intensifies. Collapsing onto the bed I had just vacated, I cling to it for support.

Looking around the other Avatar beds, I note that Norm, Grace and Jake had all left to go do something requiring the use of their Avatar bodies, leaving me alone in the compound. Using all my remaining strength, I decided to go to the one person who I know could possibly help, Max.

Approaching Max, he seems to already be expecting me, turning around with a smile on his face. "You seemed to have a early start of your day, already in your Avatar body so early. Grace, Norm and Jake went out to the forest, they'll be back in a few hours." he says, smiling up at me, but faltering as he realises the look on my face.

"Max, I didn't delink." I say weakly, looking down at him.

"What? No, that's impossible." he says smile now fully replaced with a serious look and calls over the other scientists and doctors in the bio-lab.

Multiple doctors and scientists walk up to me and help me get on a gurney set up. "Don't worry Y/n. We just need to run a couple of tests." Max says, trying to reassure me.

Hours pass, and seemingly everything that the doctors do makes the pain worsen. With every needle etched into my skin, with every question asked bouncing around in my brain causing pain. The strength that I once felt in this body now deteriorating as the hours go by. Deciding to go against the many warning and wishes of doctors and closing my eyes in the hope that I would delink in the process.

Ties passes with me being asleep but still stirring discomfort. Grace and Norm both walk up to me in their human forms, having delinked prior. "What's happening?" I hear her say through closed eyes.

Immediately opening them, I utter, "Where's Jake?" looking at her then behind her in hopes of my brother to wheel in from behind.

"Where's Jake? Where's my brother, Grace? Norm?" I repeat louder, frantically looking at them waiting for a response, as I hiss because the sudden movement causes the pain to resurface.

"Jake got lost, he'll be fine, he's a marine after all. You should be worried about yourself right now." she says trying to calm me down.

Deciding to lay my head back down on the gurney, a single tear rolling down my blue-stained cheek. "You lost my brother," I say defeated as I close my eyes, not wanting to stare into the cold lights on the lab.

"Grace, Y/n didn't delink last night." Max interjects, breaking the silence in the lab. At his words, both Norm and Grace instinctively turn their gazes toward Y/n, noticing the thin layer of sweat formed on her forehead.

"Why can't we just press the emergency release button on her link bed?" Norm asks, directing his question as Grace.

"That'll kill her and her Avatar. She is too weak in both states." Grace responds eyes not leaving Y/n, who lies there, examining her false body whilst her real one remains trapped in her link bed.

"This cannot be treated with the medicine we have. This is an Avatar body. Only Tsahik can heal her now."

Opening the door to his link bed, Jake is greeted with the sight of Grace flashing light into his eyes. "Come on back kid." she says slapping his face lightly.

You're not gonna believe where I am." he says with a chuckle, earning a smile from Grace who immediately knew what the Marine had just said, while exiting the link bed. Reminded of the harsh reality as he adjusts himself on his wheelchair.

"Where's Y/n? I gotta tell her all about the shit I went through today," he says, wheeling around to go find his sister.

"That's what we wanted to tell you Jake, Y/n is still in her Avatar form." Grace informs Jake, as he looks to where her link bed is situated and confirms that the bed is indeed still running.

"But, she's been that way since yesterday. She's sick Jake. A sickness we are not capable of treating. Only Tsahik can, and you're the only one they accepted in, so we need you to–" Grace adds but is cut of by Jake.

"Take her to Mo'at. I got it." he adds while still being in disbelief at the information that Y/n was still in her Avatar form.

"Where is her Avatar?" is all he says as he looks away from Grace, guilt eating at him. While he was snagging a date with the Olo'eytkan's daughter, his very own sister was fighting for her life in a body she didn't wish to even have.

"On the gurney." Norm says, pointing at a still Y/n in the center of the room, wires attached to her temple and onto a monitoring machine.

Wheeling over to his sister, Jake stops and looks at her face. Eyebrows scrunched, as if she could still feel while she slept. "Don't worry Y/n, I'll bring you to Mo'at, she'll know what to do."

"Come on, Y/n. I'm gonna need you to work with me here." Jake grunts, his effort evident as he hoists one of my arms over his shoulders, helping me off the gurney.

"I'm trying," I sigh, leaning heavily onto his Avatar body. The pulsating agony in my temple dulled a bit, but still remains excruciating, especially at the slightest of sounds- ironic, given the heightened senses of an Avatar.

"We just need to get you onto the Samson. Trudy will take us halfway there, we'll have to walk the rest." he says, leading me into the loading dock where a lady, who I assume to be Trudy, waits. Both Grace and Norm by her side in their Avatar forms.

The flight didn't take long, but the machines noise makes it unbearable to sit without contorting my face. "We're here Y/n." This is where we split." Grace says, placing a reassuring hand on my shoulder as the Samson lands amidst Pandoras dense flora.

Exiting the ship with Jakes help, I watch as Norm, Grace and Trudy fly off. Norm and Grace are yet to be accepted by the Omatikaya, while Trudy's situation is more obvious.

The trek to the home tree isn't far, but I struggle to appreciate Pandoras beauty as my head seems to only want to be focused on pain. "This wouldn't happen with Tommy–" I begin through gritted teeth.

"Would you just–Y/n. Stop thinking of the past, he's gone." Jake interrupts, his voice laced with irritation as he adjusts my arm, supporting me as we continue.

"How could you just forget–" I start before silencing myself, fixated on the towering tree ahead, it's entrance clearly marked. Voices fill the air with a foreign language.

"Kewong." is the only word I hear as Jake and I navigate through the gathering crowd. Inspecting us as if we were uninvited animals. The murmurs fade but linger as a commanding voice resonates through the gathering.

"Jakesully. We accept you, yet you think it's acceptable to bring back another tawtute!" a woman declares, descending the home trees stairs with confidence, her demeanour unmistakably authoritative.

"Mo'at. Tsahik of the Omatikaya Clan. I ask that you please help my sister. She is ill and cannot be helped by our healers. You're her only hope." Jake pleads occasionally averting his gaze from Mo'at's stern glare.

Mo'at turns her attention to me, and I stiffen under her sharp gaze. "What's your name?" she asks bluntly, her eyes boring into mine.

"Y/n. Y/n Sully." I reply, swallowing hard.

"Tsmuktu. Uniltirantokx Tsmuktu." she declares, circling me like prey, mirroring the crowds earlier inspection.

"You are weak, Weaker than your brother Jakesully. You will not survive." she declares, her words final. She refuses aid, and Jake seems to sense the seriousness of her words.

Stumbling forward, out of Jakes grasp, I follow Mo'at pleading silently as my knees buckle beneath the weight of my throbbing head.

"I only aid The People. You, Y/nsully, are not one of us." Mo'at declares, dismissing me without a glance.

In the midst of Mo'at's discourse, a dandelion-like creature lands briefly on my forehead before fluttering away.

A woman steps forward, "Atokirina, Ma Tsahik." she says in a rushed voice, offering a tentative smile.

"A sign from Eywa." she explains, lifting me gently. "Ma Tsahik." she turns to Mo'at with a knowing look.

"Come," Mo'at says not bothering to look back, leading the way with the woman and Jake by my side.

"Who's eywa?" I whisper to Jake, to which he shrugs. "No idea, asked Norm and he gave me a lecture, but I tuned out." he whispers back, a shared chuckle lightening our steps as we struggle to keep pace with the Tsahik.

Entering a tent-like structure, I can only assume belongs to Mo'at and her mate, the Olo'eytkan. "Lay down." she instructs me.

As I comply, Mo'at resumes speaking. "Neytiri, fetch her appropriate clothing. We do not tolerate tawtute attire." she commands, turning to Neytiri, who promptly departs. Mo'at kneels beside me.

As Neytiri leaves, another Na'vi man enters, his anger radiating as he confronts Mo'at and I. "How could you allow this demon entry?" he accuses, pointing a finger at me.

"Tsu'tey she is unwell. She poses no threat." Jake intervenes, stepping forward with his hands in the air.

"You! Do not adrress me as one of your own." Tsu'tey rebukes Jake, pushing him aside to confront me.

"You suffer because you inhabit a false body. Return to your tawtute life." he insists glaring down at me.

"I would if I could," I retort, meeting his gaze from my position on the floor, catching Mo'at's attention.

"If you could?" she probes skeptically before returning her focus to crushing the herbs, while Neytiri re-enters with a loincloth and accessories.

"Yes, I am unable to revert back to my human form." I admit, sighing as Mo'at and Neytiri exchange meaningful looks.

"Child, you are chosen by Eywa. Both you and your tsmukan." Mo'at declares, placing a cool cloth on my forehead and motioning me to remain still.

"It is settled. You will be instructed by Tsu'tey, once you are well." she concludes leaving, with a furious Tsu'tey follwing behind.

"I will teach you both the ways of our tongue." Neytiri announces before departing, leaving Jake and I alone in the home of the Tsahik and Olo'eytkan.

"Rest Y/n. I wanna go back and tell Norm about how you and I are both getting trained by the future clan leaders, I wanna see the jealousy on his face." Jake says, a grin on his face as he exits, likely to delink.

With that, my eyes drift closed involuntarily, the pain slowly receding as I slip further and further into slumber.

previous » next III

[rmadridcore]

Between Us - Part 3 (Last Part)

Pairing: Kylian Mbappé x Reader

Summary: You and Kylian have been inseparable friends for years, but when unspoken feelings bubble to the surface, everything changes.

Word Count: 7.2K

Part 1 Part 2 Epilogue

Masterlist

Author’s note: I’m so happy to see all your positive feedback, you have no idea 🥹🫂 Thank you for reading it. It motivates me so much! Here’s the grand finale. It’s a lengthy one hehe. I was originally planning to release two parts but it felt wrong to divide this chapter so I wrote it as one. I loved writing this short series so much, I’m not ready to say goodbye so I will shortly begin working on an epilogue. I hope you all enjoy it & don’t forget to tell me all of your thoughts! 💌

——————————————————————————

Kylian Mbappé was fuming. This was the kind of situation he hated with a passion, one where things were completely out of his control.

Ever since he was a child, Kylian had a need to control everything. Whether he realized it or not, being out of control terrified him. He wanted to always have the power to change the course of events, hating the chaos of life that threatened his inner control freak. Especially when it came to the people and things he cherished most.

It had been a little over three weeks since he last saw you. At first, he’d been keeping track of the days, but eventually, he stopped. Counting the days only amplified his worry. You had stormed out of his house with tear-filled eyes and no explanation, leaving him completely clueless.

He’d tried to reach out afterward — calling, texting, anything to get a response. But you either told him you were too busy to see him, or worse, you didn’t respond at all. At first, he convinced himself that maybe you were genuinely busy. But Kylian knew you too well. This wasn’t busyness; this was avoidance.

You were intentionally keeping your distance, and that realization crushed him. Kylian couldn’t bear the thought of losing you. He had always made it a priority to keep you in his life, no matter how hectic his career got. He couldn’t imagine a world without you. You were his constant, his anchor. Now, for the first time, it felt like you were pulling away. And he didn’t even know why.

It hurt him so much. Since his younger days, all Kylian ever wanted was to have you with him, to have you by his side. It wasn’t just a matter of friendship or loyalty, it was essential to his emotional and mental well-being. The need to feel your presence, to know that you were there, had always been a grounding force in his life.

From the moment you met, it was as if the universe had given him the one person he couldn’t live without. He had tried his hardest over the years to maintain your friendship. Despite the distance, his massive career, the relentless schedule of being a world class footballer — none of it mattered as much as you did. Nothing could ever be more important than making sure you two remained close. It didn’t matter how frenetic his life became; keeping you by his side was his highest priority. He made sure of that.

In his mind, you were destined to be in each other’s lives. He was one hundred percent sure that, no matter the circumstances, no matter the paths you both could have taken, you two were meant to find each other. Even if you had never met at his birthday party when you were six, even if you hadn’t grown up together, Kylian was convinced he would have found you. Somehow, somewhere, in this world, or any other, he would have searched for you. It was as if his soul had been programmed to look for yours. And he was so grateful that life hadn’t forced him to waste time searching for you.

He was thankful that he had found you early on, that you had always been there, a constant light in his life. But now, for the first time, that light felt like it was fading.

For the first time, it felt like you were slipping away from him, and it terrified him. He hated that feeling. The uncertainty gnawed at him, the not knowing why you suddenly didn’t want to be around him. The thought that he had done something, something unforgivable, that had caused you to pull away made him feel sick to his stomach. Kylian couldn’t stand the idea that he might have hurt you.

Your happiness was everything to him. It always had been. If you weren’t happy, he wasn’t happy. It was as simple as that. He needed you to be joyful in order for him to feel any joy at all. Your well-being was intricately tied to his own, and the idea of jeopardizing that? It was unthinkable. He would never, could never, do anything to risk your happiness. He’d rather walk away from everything than lose you.

And now, for the first time, he was afraid he might actually be losing you, and it was tearing him apart.

After torturing himself with countless reasons for your sudden absence, one thought rose to the surface, a thought he hated.

Was it because of Louis? Had you started dating him, and now you realized you were better off without Kylian in your life? The idea made him furious. He couldn’t stand the thought of anyone coming between the two of you.

Kylian had dated many girls over the years, but not once had he allowed any of them to affect his friendship with you. You were always the one constant, the one person he made sure everyone in his life knew was irreplaceable. If anyone had an issue with that, they knew exactly where the door was.

He had questioned his feelings for you so many times over the years. There were moments when he’d wondered if what he felt for you was something deeper than friendship, something real and terrifyingly intense.

But each time, he’d shaken the thought away, convinced himself it was just his mind playing tricks. He couldn’t be in love with his best friend. That wasn’t how things were supposed to go.

You were just friends. Friends who stole glances across the room, silently daring the other to look away first. Friends who brought each other as dates to events, even though they could have chosen anyone else. Friends who would sacrifice their own comfort without hesitation, just to make sure the other was at ease. Friends whose legs "accidentally" touched in the backseat of a car, the brief contact sending sparks up your spine. Friends who got butterflies every time they saw each other, even though you spent almost every day together. Friends who held onto each other in the quiet darkness, arms wrapped tight until sleep finally took over.

Friends, huh?

It was the kind of friendship that blurred the lines, that felt like something more with every touch, every lingering gaze, and every unsaid word hanging in the air. It was the kind of friendship that made you question if you were still just friends at all.

But deep down, he knew. He was lying to himself, over and over again. And the lie had become exhausting.

You weren’t just his best friend. You were his favorite person. He thought about you constantly. He could listen to you talk forever, your voice the sweetest sound in his world. Well, maybe second only to your laugh. When you were with him, everything felt brighter. His heart was so full of you that it hardly felt like it belonged to him anymore. You were his. The only problem? He didn’t have the courage to admit it.

He didn’t even know when it had all happened. The shift was so subtle, so gradual, that it crept up on him before he could realize it.

All he knew was that he had been burying these feelings deep down his entire life. It was a constant battle — one he was losing, no matter how hard he tried.

He hated himself for it, for being such a coward. For never embracing his feelings, for not taking that leap of faith when it mattered most.

But the truth was, he couldn’t bring himself to do it. The fear of losing you was his deepest, darkest fear. It terrified him in a way nothing else could.

What if he told you he loved you, and you made his worst nightmare come true? What if you didn’t love him back? Worse, what if you walked away forever? How was he supposed to live without you? He couldn’t even imagine it. His entire life had been intertwined with yours for as long as he could remember. You were always there, the constant in his chaotic world, the person who made everything feel right. He didn’t know how to do life if you weren’t by his side.

You were his first. Not his first kiss or his first relationship, no, you were something far more important. You were the first person who made him feel like he was enough. The first person to show him what true, unconditional love felt like, even if neither of you had ever said the words out loud. You were the one who revealed to him the beauty in life, the beauty of love.

But he couldn’t have you. You were always right there, within arm’s reach, yet somehow still so far away. So close, yet utterly untouchable.

You were the one wish he could never make come true, the one dream that slipped through his fingers no matter how much he held on.

So he learned to love you in other ways. He clung to his dreams. In those dreams, he allowed himself to imagine a world where you loved him back. In the silence between you, he heard love letters that you never wrote, but that he pretended were meant for him. The unsaid words, the fleeting glances, the quiet moments. He let himself believe those were your way of loving him too.

It was the only way he knew how to cope with the reality of having you so near, but never truly his.

But now, for the first time, Kylian felt truly alone.

He had always felt splashes of loneliness here and there — on long trips, in quiet hotel rooms — but it was never total, because you were always there, a phone call or text away, making everything better. You were the one person who made his days brighter, who reminded him he wasn’t alone in the world. Now, without you, he was struggling to find that peace.

Even his family had noticed your absence. You were always around.

Kylian’s parents loved you like a daughter, and his brother Ethan adored you as his favorite board game partner and his friend in general. But it had been weeks since you’d been over.

“Is Y/N okay? I haven’t seen her around for a while,” his mom had asked, concern lacing her voice.

Kylian shrugged, pretending not to care as much as he did. “She’s busy.” The words felt hollow, even to him. He knew his mom didn’t believe him, but thankfully, she didn’t press further.

During their monthly family dinner, your absence was even more obvious. You usually never missed it, loving the food, the laughter, the warmth of being around his family. But tonight, you weren’t there.

“She’s busy again?” his father asked, noticing Kylian’s sour mood.

Kylian nodded, not trusting himself to say more. His usual charm was replaced with a quiet frustration he couldn’t hide.

Even Ethan had chimed in, disappointed. “Did you guys argue? She doesn’t come over anymore. What happened?”

The room fell silent as Kylian’s emotions threatened to spill over.

“Can we stop talking about this? I don’t know what’s going on. She’s just busy, okay?” The words felt wrong, a lie to protect himself from the truth he was afraid to face.

His family exchanged worried glances, but they dropped the subject, sensing Kylian’s discomfort. They hoped whatever was wrong between the two of you would work itself out soon.

Everyone around him knew the truth. They all knew he was in love with you. It was as clear as day. Even strangers could see the way his eyes lit up when you walked into a room, the way he always gravitated toward you. It was obvious to everyone but the two of you.

It was starting to drive him crazy. When it comes to you, Kylian had always been patient, always careful not to push too hard. But this? This was different. Not having you in his life made him feel hollow, like a vital part of him was missing. He couldn’t take it anymore.

He was done waiting. He was done respecting the boundaries you’d put up between you. After over a month of not seeing you, Kylian knew he had to fight for you, no matter what it took. He wasn’t about to lose the best thing in his life without a fight.

────── ❀•°❀°•❀ ──────

One-sided love is a paradox. Being close to someone you love but not being able to call them yours is excruciating, but being away from them? That’s somehow even worse.

When you made the decision to distance yourself from Kylian, you convinced yourself it was for the best. That birthday card you found in his drawer had been the final straw. You were so confused. Why had he kept it all these years? It was probably just a sweet childhood memory to him, but for you, it meant so much more. It was a reminder of how deeply your feelings ran, how entangled your heart had become with his.

So, you decided to slowly pull away, trying to learn how to live without him. The life you’d been leading, where every day felt like emotional Russian roulette, was unbearable. You couldn’t continue to live a life where your heart was broken in small, painful ways every single day.

The thought of one day sitting beside Kylian, hearing him excitedly tell you about falling in love with someone else, shattered you. It was inevitable. He’d find someone else, someone who wasn’t you. And when that day came, you weren’t sure you’d survive it.

Distancing yourself was supposed to be for your own good. You knew it would be hard, but you hadn’t expected the pain to feel so overwhelming. It was like a knife twisting in your chest, never letting you catch your breath.

At first, you held onto the hope that it would get easier. That over time, you’d learn to live without him. But the longer you stayed away, the worse it got.

Every time you ignored his calls or responded with a dry “I’m busy,” you were flooded with guilt. What if he really needed you? What if something was wrong, and you weren’t there for him? The thought of letting him down broke your heart. Kylian had always valued you, always made it clear how important you were to him. How much he needed you in his life. He had never made you doubt your place in his world. You, on the other hand, were failing him.

But what could you say? How could you explain why you were pulling away? The truth was too dangerous. Being around him had become unbearable, not just because it hurt, but because every time you were with him, you fell deeper in love. And the more you loved him, the more impossible it became to hide.

Kylian made it so easy to love him. He was always thoughtful, always making sure you were comfortable, always knowing what you needed before you even said it. He was strong, intelligent, protective, but also soft, with a heart so big it amazed you every day. He was everything you had ever wanted.

But he was also your best friend. The one person who could make you laugh until your sides hurt. The one you could share every fear, every secret with. He was the one who offered you a shoulder to cry on, who listened without judgment, who always knew how to make you feel better.

And you missed him. You missed him so much it felt like a physical ache. But being near him was just as painful as being away from him.

“Are you even listening?” Louis’ voice snapped you back to reality. You were sitting across from him at a café, your coffee growing cold as your mind wandered back to Kylian.

“Sorry,” you muttered, offering a sheepish smile. “I got lost in thought.”

Louis smiled, but you could tell he sensed something was off. He continued talking about his day, unaware that your mind was still drifting, still stuck on Kylian.

You weren’t dating Louis, not officially, but you were seeing where things went. You’d gone out a few times over the past few weeks, and while he was charming and sweet, there was something missing.

Chemistry.

That spark, that effortless connection you had with Kylian, was nowhere to be found with Louis. It wasn’t fair to compare him to Kylian, but you couldn’t help it.

“You remember our plans for tonight, right?” When the coffee date ended, Louis asked, his tone light and teasing, as he reminded you of the bowling night you had planned a few days ago.

“Of course! Can’t wait!” you replied, giving him a quick hug, the warmth of his embrace lingering as you pulled away.

With a smile still on your face, you turned and headed back to your work, which was conveniently located just around the corner from the café where you’d shared coffee.

The workday unfolded like any other; mundane tasks, the hum of conversations around you, the rhythmic tapping of keyboards filling the air.

But everything shifted in an instant when the button on your shirt suddenly ripped free. It tumbled to the floor and rolled beneath the couch near your desk, a small but annoying mishap that disrupted your concentration.

You knelt down, using the flashlight on your phone to search for the wayward button. As you leaned under the couch, your phone buzzed, the sudden vibration startling you. But it was the message itself that sent a chill down your spine.

I’m coming over tonight after training. I’ll be done around 10.

It was Kylian. You hadn’t heard from him for a little while, which had been both a relief and a disappointment. You were trying so hard to avoid him, but every time he reached out, the temptation to see him tugged at your heart.

Panic set in. Not tonight. You weren’t ready to face him, not yet.

It had been weeks since you’d last seen him, and you still didn’t know how to handle the flood of emotions that came with being around him. You needed more time to build up the courage to have that inevitable conversation.

Quickly, you typed back:

Not tonight. I’m going out with Louis.

You knew you were using Louis as an excuse, but the idea of seeing Kylian tonight was too much. You needed more than a few hours to mentally prepare for that kind of conversation.

You expected Kylian to reply, but there was no response. Your heart sank as you wondered if he’d taken the hint.

The rest of your day passed in a blur. Thoughts of Kylian consumed you, memories of the last time you saw him, the way you left him confused and hurt. You hated yourself for the way you’d handled things, for running away when he deserved an explanation. But more than anything, you hated him for making it so hard. For being the kind of person you couldn’t help but love, even when it was the last thing you wanted.

Time passed quickly, and before you knew it, you were home, getting ready for your evening plans with Louis.

As you arrived there, your mind betrayed you. It took you back to a certain day about a year ago, a Sunday spent bowling with Kylian and your friends. You could still hear his playful teasing, the way he’d pretended to be a pro at the game, only to pout dramatically when he lost.

“What’s so funny?” Louis asked as he tied his bowling shoes, noticing the small smile that had crept onto your face.

You hadn’t realized you’d been smiling. “Oh, nothing,” you stammered, trying to shake the memory away.

The game went smoothly, and as you both enjoyed a few rounds of bowling and some ice cream, everything seemed fine on the surface. But inside, you were a mess. Even in Louis’ presence, Kylian was still on your mind.

After starting up the engine of his car, Louis glanced at you, concern clear in his eyes. “You seem kind of off,” he said. “Is everything okay?”

You nodded quickly, forcing a smile. “I’m fine, just tired from work.”

He sighed softly, glancing at you with a mixture of frustration and sympathy. “It’s not just today. You’ve been distracted for a while now.”

You froze, guilt washing over you. He was right. No matter how hard you tried, you couldn’t hide how preoccupied you’d been. Louis knew about Kylian. He didn’t know everything, of course, but he knew enough to realize that Kylian was a significant part of your life.

“I don’t know what you’re talking about,” you replied, pretending not to understand. “I’m fine, really.”

Louis didn’t push further. The rest of the drive was quiet, filled with an awkward tension you couldn’t shake. When he dropped you off, he got out to walk you to your door as usual.

“I like spending time with you, Y/N,” he said softly, his tone sincere.

Your heart raced, not with excitement, but with dread. You knew what was coming next, and you weren’t ready for it.

“Me too,” you said, but your voice lacked the sincerity Louis deserved. He seemed to sense it.

Gently, Louis reached for your face, leaning in for a kiss. Almost immediately, as if on instinct, you turned your head, pulling back awkwardly.

“I’m sorry,” you whispered, the words barely audible.

Louis sighed, stepping back, disappointment etched on his face. “I was kind of expecting this.”

You blinked in surprise, unsure what to say.

“I’ve known all along, Y/N,” he continued. “You’re in love with Kylian, aren’t you?”

The question hit you like a punch to the gut. Was it really that obvious? Had your attempts to hide your feelings been that transparent?

“I... I don’t...” you stammered, not knowing how to respond.

Louis offered you a sad smile. “The way you talk about him, the way you light up when you mention his name; it’s clear. I thought maybe, if we spent time together, you’d start to feel the same way about me. But I think we both know that’s not going to happen.”

Your heart ached. You hadn’t meant to hurt Louis, hadn’t meant to lead him on. You had hoped that maybe, being with him would help you move on. But deep down, you knew it was impossible.

“I’m so sorry, Louis,” you said softly. “I didn’t mean to hurt you.”

He nodded, his expression gentle despite the sadness in his eyes. “It’s okay. I get it. I really do.”

He gave you a quick hug, and as he walked back to his car, he turned one last time. “I hope it works out, Y/N,” he said with a faint smile. “I hope you get what you want.”

As Louis drove away, you stood at your doorstep, emotions swirling inside you like a storm. The guilt from your conversation with him weighed heavily on your chest, but there was something else, something that had been bubbling to the surface for weeks.

It was Kylian. Always Kylian.

You couldn’t keep living in this limbo, trapped between your love for him and your fear of losing him. Louis had said it out loud, the truth you had been running from. You were in love with Kylian, and there was no denying it anymore. No more hiding behind excuses, no more pretending you didn’t feel the way you did. It was time to confront it, once and for all.

After entering your apartment, you headed straight for the shower. The hot water was exactly what you needed to ease the tension that had built up in your muscles over the past few weeks.

As the steam enveloped you, it felt like the warmth was washing away not just the physical strain, but also some of the emotional weight you had been carrying.

Once the shower had calmed you down a bit, you settled onto a stool at the kitchen island, wrapping your hands around a warm mug of peppermint tea. You scrolled through your phone, trying to distract yourself from the thoughts that had been swirling in your mind.

But then, a sudden ring of the doorbell startled you, making you jump slightly. Glancing at the clock, you wondered who could possibly be visiting you at 10:45 PM. Curiosity piqued, you rose from your seat and walked over to the peephole.

When you looked through, your heart skipped a beat. There, on the doorstep, stood a familiar and beloved face.

Your heart pounded in your chest. He was here. Now. You hadn’t expected him to show up, especially after you’d told him you were busy. Panic set in. What were you going to say? How could you face him after everything?

But you couldn’t avoid him forever.

Taking a deep breath, you unlocked the door, your heart racing. Kylian stepped in, looking at you with those familiar, intense eyes that always seemed to see straight through you. He looked exhausted, but there was a determination in his gaze that made your pulse quicken.

“You were out with Louis?” His voice was calm, but there was an edge to it.

You didn’t say anything.

Kylian sighed, rubbing his forehead. “I don’t understand, Y/N. What’s going on? Why have you been avoiding me?”

There it was, the question you had been dreading. You opened your mouth to speak, but no words came out.

How could you explain to him that being near him had become unbearable? That every moment with him made you fall deeper in love, and the deeper you fell, the harder it was to keep pretending?

“I’m not avoiding you,” you lied, your voice shaking. “I’ve just been busy with work and... stuff.”

Kylian’s eyes darkened with frustration. “Don’t lie to me, Y/N. You’re not just busy. Something’s wrong, and you won’t tell me what it is. I’m your best friend, why are you shutting me out?”

The words hit you like a blow. Best friend. That’s all you were to him. The same old label you had clung to for years, hoping it would be enough, when in reality, it was tearing you apart.

You felt the lump in your throat grow, your emotions finally boiling over. You couldn’t keep this up. Not anymore.

“Kylian, please, just... don’t,” you whispered, your voice cracking.

He stepped closer, his brow furrowed with concern. “Don’t what? Talk to you? Be here for you? What is it, Y/N? What did I do to make you push me away?”

You closed your eyes, tears stinging behind your eyelids. How could he not see it? How could he not know what was breaking you? Every part of you wanted to tell him, to scream that you loved him, that you had been in love with him for years, but the fear, the fear of doing the wrong thing, kept your lips sealed.

Kylian’s voice softened, his frustration melting into worry. “Please, just talk to me. I missed my best friend.”

Those words broke you. You felt a sob rise in your chest as you looked at him, the tears finally spilling over. “I can’t do this anymore,” you choked out, your voice barely a whisper.

Kylian’s face fell, his eyes widening in shock. “What do you mean?”

“I just can’t.” You croaked, tears welling up in your eyes. It was difficult to speak without crying; the intensity of your emotions was overwhelming.

For now, you decided to embrace what you were feeling, letting the tears fall freely. A sob escaped your lips, the sound raw and heart-wrenching.

Just as you felt on the verge of completely breaking down, Kylian’s arms wrapped around you, squeezing you tight. He settled the two of you onto the couch, holding you close, right where you belonged.

You cried, gasping for air as everything that had been building inside you over the years surged forth. Your tears became a release, washing away the weight of unspoken feelings and fears.

“It’s okay. Everything is going to be fine,” he whispered into your hair, his hand gently caressing your back as you buried your face in his chest. “I’m here. Don’t worry. I’m not going anywhere.” His words were a balm to your frayed nerves, a promise that soothed your aching heart.

You could feel his shirt dampening from your tears, but you clung to him tighter, as if afraid he might vanish if you let go.

Kylian held you until the sobs began to subside, never rushing you. He whispered sweet nothings in your ear, words of comfort that wrapped around you like a warm blanket.

When you finally began to calm down, he stood up and made his way to the kitchen, returning moments later with a glass of water.

“Take a sip,” he urged, handing the glass to you. You took a few small sips, grateful for the cool liquid that soothed your throat, and he gently placed the glass on the coffee table.

Taking a seat next to you, he caressed your hair, his fingers weaving through the strands with a tenderness that made your heart swell. Kylian looked at you with those familiar eyes — eyes you loved so dearly, filled with concern and affection.

You wiped at your tears, but more kept coming. “I can’t do this.” you said, motioning between the two of you. “I can’t keep pretending everything’s fine when it’s not.”

Kylian’s expression hardened, his jaw tightening. “What are you pretending? Y/N, you’re not making any sense.”

You took a shaky breath, the words you had been holding back for so long finally clawing their way to the surface.

“I want to tell you everything,” you said suddenly, a mysterious confidence surging within you.

You couldn’t hold it in any longer. The weight of your love for Kylian had become suffocating, unbearable, and you felt as if you were drowning in your own feelings. The only way to pull yourself up was to be completely honest with him, to finally let it all out.

Kylian nodded, his expression serious. “Is this about your boyfriend?” he asked, the disappointment in his voice evident. He attempted to mask it with curiosity, but he didn’t quite succeed.

“No. He’s not my boyfriend,” you answered immediately, a sense of thrill washing over you as you spoke the truth. Kylian nodded again, a flicker of relief crossing his face, but the worry of losing you was still etched deeply on his beautiful features.

You took a deep breath, steeling yourself for the most important conversation of your life.

“When we met for the first time, I was so excited,” you began, taking a trip down memory lane. You desperately needed to let it all out. “I loved my new friend. I loved how funny and silly you were. I loved how much you loved to make others laugh.” Kylian smiled softly, his eyes glimmering with fondness.

“Growing up with you by my side was incredible. We had so much fun, and every time we hung out, I was genuinely happy.” His smile remained, but there was a hint of worry now, as if he was trying to figure out where this was heading.

“When you became a teenager and started playing football professionally, I was over the moon for you. Seeing how hard you worked, I truly believed no one deserved this success more than you.” Your sincerity was palpable, and you meant every word. You had always been his biggest fan, cheering him on from the sidelines as he chased his dreams.

“But as we grew up, I realized that what I felt for you was something deeper, something raw and special. At first, I thought it was just our friendship and all the time we spent together.” Kylian's smile faltered slightly, and that only made your heart race faster. You had to keep going.

“Before I knew it, I had fallen completely in love with you.” You finally said it, the truth hanging in the air between you.

It felt surreal, almost liberating to admit it out loud.

You dropped your gaze to your lap, unable to bear the weight of his gaze. You didn’t want to see the look in his eyes, the thought terrified you.

“I don’t even know when it happened, Kylian, but it did. I fell for you. Deeply.” With a shaky hand, you wiped away a tear that had escaped. Kylian gently grasped your chin, trying to make you look at him, but you averted your gaze, needing to finish your confession.

“I tried so hard to get over you. I did everything I could, but nothing worked. You have a place in my heart that nobody else could ever have.” The admission felt both strange and freeing, finally allowing yourself to voice what you had kept buried for so long.

“When I went out with Louis for the first time, I couldn’t stop thinking about you. It felt so wrong, but I couldn’t help it.” You noticed Kylian’s breath hitch, the tension in the room thickening.

“Then when I came over to your house, looking for my socks, I accidentally opened a drawer I wish I hadn’t.” You recalled that fateful night, the moment you’d fled from his home like it was on fire.

“I saw the birthday card I gave you when I first came over for your party. I didn’t even know you kept it. I figured it was just a silly memory for you, but it meant so much to me.” The memory was bittersweet, and fresh tears rolled down your cheeks.

“I didn’t know what to do. Everything became overwhelming in an instant, so I ran.” A new set of tears streamed down your face as the emotions surged forth. “I know what I did was wrong. You deserved an explanation, but I couldn’t keep living like this. I couldn’t pretend you didn’t mean the world to me.” Kylian let out a deep sigh, his eyes searching yours.

“I tried to distance myself from you, to focus on myself, thinking maybe I could somehow get over you, but nothing worked.” Admitting that Kylian was your one and only was hard enough, but saying it out loud to him felt like stepping off a cliff. “I know this will change our friendship forever. I know I’ve most likely ruined everything we had, but I couldn’t take this anymore.” Your voice trembled, breaking with the weight of your words.

“Please understand Kylian that I needed to say all this to you. I’m sorry for not talking to you, and I’m sorry for being foolish enough to fall for you when you only see me as a friend. I’m sorry for damaging our friendship.” Once your heartfelt confession and apologies spilled out, you finally looked up at Kylian. His expression was unreadable, a mix of emotions swirling across his features. You had always been good at detecting his feelings, but this was something you had never seen before, and it terrified you.

You were slowly coming to terms with the painful possibility that this was it — that your friendship might be ending. But at least you could finally live with a little peace, knowing you had spoken your truth.

For a moment, the world seemed to stop. Kylian stood frozen, his eyes wide, his mouth slightly open as if he couldn’t quite process what you had just said. Silence stretched between you, heavy and suffocating.

“You love me?” he finally breathed, his voice barely audible.  

You wiped at your tears again and nodded, your heart pounding in your chest. “Yes, I love you, and I’ve tried to ignore it, tried to push it down, but it’s only gotten worse. And being around you, pretending I’m fine, pretending that all I want is to be your friend, it’s tearing me apart.”

Kylian blinked, still staring at you in disbelief. “Y/N...”

“I don’t expect anything from you,” you said quickly, your voice trembling. “I just... I couldn’t keep it in anymore. I couldn’t keep lying to myself.”

Kylian couldn’t believe his ears. Internally, he was screaming, jumping for joy, crying tears of happiness, and doing a victory dance.

This was beyond his wildest dreams. He would have never imagined that you loved him back, let alone to this extent.

It felt impossible. Unreal. Dreamy even. He was on cloud nine, his heart racing with elation.

He could hardly think straight. The love of his life. His safe space. His beautiful girl. His Y/N loved him back. This was hands down the happiest moment of his entire life. He wanted to scream at the top of his lungs. He longed to tell you everything; the depths of his love, the countless sleepless nights he had spent dreaming of holding you in his arms, the silent tears he had shed during his teenage years when he was far, far away from you.

The more you stared at him, the deeper he fell for you. He wanted to share all of it, but for now, he needed to do one thing that would make you feel the intensity of his love.

After what felt like an eternity of gazing at you, he couldn’t wait any longer. In an instant, before you could fully process the moment, he pressed his soft lips against yours. He cradled your face, pouring his heart into the kiss. Slowly, he slipped his tongue into your mouth, savoring the taste that had quickly become his favorite.

You responded immediately, kissing him back without a second thought. It felt instinctive, as if it were a natural reflex.

Your lips moved perfectly in sync, as if they were made for each other. There was no hesitation, no awkwardness. You both knew each other’s mouths effortlessly, and it felt like you two’s first kiss and a millionth kiss all at once.

Eventually, you pulled back, though it was against your wishes. You needed to catch your breath. Kylian’s hands rested on your cheeks as you grasped both of his wrists, connecting your foreheads in a tender moment of intimacy.

Kylian shook his head. “Why didn’t you tell me?” he whispered, his voice thick with emotion. “Why didn’t you say something sooner?”

You laughed bitterly, wiping at your eyes. “Because I was scared. I was scared you didn’t feel the same way, and that I’d lose you. I couldn’t bear the thought of losing you.”

Kylian caressed your face, his touch so soft it made your heart ache.

“You’ll never lose me,” he whispered, his eyes locking onto yours. “I could never let you go, Y/N. Not ever.”

Your breath caught in your throat as you searched his eyes, trying to understand what he was saying.

“Do you—” you began, but Kylian cut you off, his voice barely a whisper.

“I love you too.”

Your heart stopped. Those four words, the ones you’d longed to hear for so many years, hung in the air between you like a lifeline.

You searched his face, looking for any sign that he didn’t mean it, that this was just another cruel twist of fate, but there was nothing. His expression was open, raw, and filled with emotion. Emotion you had never seen in him before.

“What?” you whispered, almost too afraid to believe it.

Kylian’s thumbs gently brushed the tears from your cheeks, his touch warm and familiar. “I love you,” he repeated, his voice soft but sure. “I’ve been in love with you for so long.” Your breath hitched in your throat as the weight of his words settled in.

He loved you.

He had loved you all along.

“But... why didn’t you say anything?” you asked, your voice shaking with disbelief.

Kylian let out a shaky breath, his hands still cradling your face. “Same as you.” he admitted. “I was scared of ruining what we have. You’re the most important person in my life, Y/N. I couldn’t risk losing you.”

You blinked up at him, still processing everything. All this time, you had been afraid to tell him how you felt, convinced that your love was unrequited. And all this time, he had been feeling the exact same way.

“I thought I was losing you,” Kylian continued, his voice raw with emotion. “When you started pulling away, I thought it was because of Louis. I thought maybe you were falling for him, and it scared the hell out of me. I couldn’t stand the idea of you with someone else.”

You shook your head, a soft laugh escaping your lips. “Louis? No, Kylian. It was never about him. It was always you.”

Kylian’s eyes softened, a look of relief washing over his face.

“I’m sorry I made you feel like I didn’t love you,” Kylian said, his voice thick with sincerity. It was his turn to apologize for something he absolutely shouldn’t have been apologizing for.

“If the fear of losing you hadn’t been my greatest fear, I wouldn’t have been such a coward. I would have told you that you are the love of my life a long time ago.” You smiled through your tears, the warmth of his words wrapping around you like a comforting embrace.

Kylian gently wiped your tears away with his thumb, his touch tender and reassuring. Then, with a playful spark in his eyes, he leaned in and gave you a quick peck on the nose, a gesture that made your heart flutter.

You wrapped your arms around his neck, pulling him closer, your heart bursting with emotion.

“I love you, Kylian,” you whispered, your voice thick with tears. “I’ve always loved you.”

“I’ve been waiting for this for so long,” he whispered, his voice barely audible. “I can’t believe it’s real.”

You smiled, your heart feeling lighter than it had in years.

He pulled you into his arms, holding you close as if he never wanted to let go. And in that moment, everything felt right. All the years of longing, all the heartache, all the fear; it was all worth it for this.

Kylian kissed your forehead, his lips lingering there for a moment before he spoke again. “You’re mine, Y/N. You’ve always been mine.”

You looked up at him, your heart swelling with love.

For the first time in a long time, the future didn’t seem so terrifying. You weren’t afraid of losing him anymore, because you knew that no matter what happened, Kylian would always be there.

You had found something so much more than friendship; something that had been waiting for you all along.

“You are everything I ever wanted love to be,” Kylian whispered before closing the distance between your lips once again.

What you two shared transcended words and expressions. It was otherworldly, something uniquely special. A connection that defied explanation.

Ever since you met, no one else had been worth thinking about. Your love was the kind that didn’t have an off switch; it was a constant flame, burning brightly. You were each other’s sweetest feelings, the light in each other’s lives.

Love could be as simple as watching the moon together or as difficult as counting the stars. But for you, he was willing to do both.  

——————————————————————————

[intoxicated-chan]

𝐂𝐡𝐚𝐩𝐭𝐞𝐫 𝟒 ║ ❝𝐖𝐞 𝐅𝐫𝐞𝐧𝐜𝐡 𝐊𝐢𝐬𝐬𝐞𝐝 𝐎𝐧 𝐚 𝐒𝐮𝐛𝐰𝐚𝐲 𝐓𝐫𝐚𝐢𝐧❞

(A/n) ➳ Started watching Hazbin Hotel again, gotta say, it’s a good show. I was hoping to get to the next chapter sooner. I thank you guys for being patient, I seriously had a massive writer’s block.

Word Count ➳ 1.7k

Content Warnings ➳ Swearing, light sexual content, mentions of anger issues, mentions of abuse, mention of unrequited love, mentions of marriages, alcohol use, mentions of criminal investigation…

JUDAS Masterlist

“DON’T YOU MEAN THAT SHIT DINER?”

You let out a playful scoff, acting offended. “Well excuse you Daryl, The Golden Bite is an amazing diner!” You spoke to him over the phone.

That’s when your coworker, Annie came walking with a plate in hand that had a half eaten burger. “Still tastes like cardboard.” She sang as she headed back to the kitchen.

“Annie-”

“Still not gettin’ it?”

You rolled your eyes. “Gonna come and say it to my face?” You flinched at the loud voices coming from the kitchen, Annie was once again arguing with the cooks.

You don’t blame her, the cooks the manager hired are shit and so is the quality of the food. It’s a shock that this place hadn’t been shut down yet.

You heard Daryl laugh and the infamous sound of his motorcycle. “I still wanna live another day and get another taste, still thinkin’ of ya.”

Your face immediately became hot, you thought you would break your phone with how tight you were clutching it.

“Daryl!” You harshly whispered.

“I’m an honest man and I’m honest when I say, I wanna bend you over my bike again.”

“I’m at work!”

“That ain’t gonna stop me.”

Annie poked her head around the corner. “Oh yeah, Meredith said that the sheriff wants you. Ain’t taking anybody else.” She disappeared before you could retort.

“That’s my cue.”

“I’ll talk to you later, Judas.” You set your phone in your pocket and looked over your shoulder for a quick glance, right by the window.

Shane sat at the table, looking over the menu as if he hadn’t been here for the hundredth time. You snapped your head back at the coffee machine the second his eyes drifted away from the menu.

You were still reeling from the conversation you had with him before, the two of you hadn’t talked, texted, or called each other. He didn’t stop by whenever he was in the neighborhood, did he feel guilty?

You walked to his table with a pen and notepad in hand. “Hey, Shane, what can I get you?”

“Just the special and a large coffee, nothin’ in it.”

“I’ll get that-”

“Can you give me a minute?” Shane interrupted you.

You looked up from your notepad and lifted an eyebrow. “Somethin’ wrong?”

“Jus’ sit, I won’t be long.”

You sighed. “If I get busted, it’s gonna be on your head, Walsh. I need this job.”

Shane chuckled. “You could always become a stay at home wife.”

You scoffed, clicking your pen. “Yeah? Who the hell’s gonna deal with my bullshit?”

“Me as your husband.”

Your heart sank into your stomach. “What?” You needed to bite this in the bud, like Amy said. “Look Shane, I don’t think-”

“You say that but what ‘bout later? Down the line? What happens when the jackass becomes borin’? Or worse? Hurts you?”

You could only shake your head in disbelief, Daryl was many things. He’s wild, secretive, and could be distant at times but he would never hurt you.

“Seriously? Do you really think that low of Daryl?! You don’t even know him.”

“Do you even know him?”

“That’s-”

“Do you know where the guy lives or any idea what he does for a livin’?” Shane then grabbed your wrist to pull you closer, his hot breath hitting your face. “I know you, (Y/n). I know that you like to chase after people who ain’t good for you and you know it! He’s one of them. And I know you’re better and safer with me.”

“I don’t-!”

“Pardon me!” Annie made you both jump back, Shane releasing his tightening grip. “Are you lovebirds done arguing?”

“Annie-!”

“Because we would like you to keep the volume down or take it outside.” Annie cut you off before you could even explain. “Or you can get back to work and not lose this job.”

“I’m sorry.” You mumbled, scurrying off to the kitchen.

Annie’s eyes turned to Shane who she glared at. “You ain’t good for her. Not even close.” She turned on her heel and followed you.

She found you in the break room, rubbing your arms and taking deep breaths. She could see it in your eyes, the slight anger.

“Need me to ask Miguel to toss that guy out?” Annie placed a hand on your shoulder.

“No, no.” You waved her off, your hands now fidgeting with your fingers. “I don’t know what that was.”

“That was a glimpse of an asshole.” Annie explained. “And a jealous one from what I heard, no ‘mout of therapy can fix that man.”

“You could never know-”

“I know ‘em (Y/n).”

“He’s probably cooled off by now.” You took one final deep breath. “I’m jus’ gonna hear what else he gotta say then I’m done, I’m out of here.”

“Workin’ or him?”

“Most likely both.”

Meredith peered into the break room. “Think she’s gonna reject him?”

Annie shook her head, her hands on her hips as she took a couple steps out the break room, seeing you sit back down with Shane. “The girl loves thrill and danger. Safety is never in her handbook.”

“Worried for ‘er?”

“I’m scared shitless.”

“Look, (Y/n) I know I ain’t your type of guy. But it could all change.” Shane explained.

“I ain’t got time for this, I ain’t got time for whatever you’re dreamin’ of. It’s all it is, a dream.”

“You don’t understand.”

“I do.” You retracted your hand when he went for it, speaking as sternly as you could without drawing the attention of customers. “And if you understand, you would stop askin’ ‘bout this guy.”

“I’ll understand when I get the chance to show you that a life with me is a safer choice than whatever you have with that guy.”

You groaned, was he really going to do this to himself? “You would rather be in a loveless marriage?”

“It ain’t gonna be loveless. What I’m askin’ you to do is to go out with me.”

“HE SAID WHAT?!” Andrea snatched the pillow that hid your frustrated expression, she threw it behind her and asked the same question again, even louder if possible.

“You heard me.” You mumbled.

You didn’t know how to feel other than uncomfortable. The lump in your throat didn’t want to leave, making you feel bothered.

“What did you say?!”

“Didn’t say anythin’, told me to think ‘bout it.”

“Dammit (Y/n)!”

“I know!” You stopped her before she could scold you. “I know I should’ve said no!”

“But you gotta admit, he’s gotta be loaded with cash.”

“...He kinda is.”

“S-Seriously?”

You nodded, you grabbed another pillow to squeeze at, trying to sooth yourself. “There would be times where Shane would pay for my expenses, like rent and water.”

“Oh he’s serious ‘bout you.”

“That’s the sad part. Even if things didn’t work out with Daryl, I don’t want Shane to be a second option jus’ ‘cause I couldn’t have Daryl or it becomes borin’. I wanna be sure that if I choose Shane, it’s gotta be true.”

You jumped at the sound of the wine bottle being popped open, you stared at Andrea as she poured you a rather large glass of wine.

“Then go see Shane.”

“Y’know I can’t-”

“See Shane and see how you feel. If nothin’ changes or worse comes to worst, you feel repulsed, then tell ‘im. You can continue to see Daryl with Shane hanging over your head.”

Andrea pushed the glass into your hands. “And what if it doesn’t? What if I end up fallin’ for him?”

“Then you could lose a man you love or a man who’s only sticking ‘round when he needs you to blow or fuck.”

“Daryl doesn’t seem like the type.”

“Then that’s worse, choosing between two guys is a fuckin’ nightmare.”

‘Im on my way’

You read the text again from Shane, silently hoping all of this was just a dream and you never heard Shane asking you out.

You shut your phone and stared into the mirror, you sighed, taking your tenth pair of earrings off. You were annoyed with yourself, how hard was it to say no? Especially to Shane?

The knocking on your door made you annoyed even more, you weren’t in the mood for a guest but it dropped when you saw Carl with Rick… Carl with Rick.

You opened your door. “Hey Rick.” Then you turn to the boy. “Carl!”

Carl quickly wrapped his arms around you, nearly knocking you down. You could never stay mad at the boy.

Rick stepped in and closed your door. “I’m callin’ in a favor.”

“Shoot.” You said, managing to get his arms off to get him a little snack.

“Lori’s mom canceled on us and I know your workin’ tomorrow. I was hopin’ if you could look after Carl after your shift. Jus’ for a couple hours.”

“It’s no problem, you know I don’t mind takin’ care of your rascal.”

“Hey!” His shout made you stick out your tongue at him playfully.

“So… What’s gotcha all dolled up? Goin’ out with that guy?”

“What guy-? How did you know I was talkin’ to someone?” Rick fumbled over his words. “Grimes.”

“Shane, he was worried ‘bout you.”

“Jeez, y’know I can take care of myself.”

“Said that last time, remember what happened?”

You rolled your eyes. “It was once.”

“Three times, three guys who broke your heart.”

“It was nothin’. They were nothin’. They jus’ broke up with me, nothin’ crazy.”

“You say that now but what if it’s different?” Rick pulled you away from Carl and whispered. “What if he has a criminal record or is involved in some deep shit?”

“I can find that out.”

“And so can I but quicker, jus’ give me a name.”

“I ain’t gonna give you shit, Grimes.” You walked back to Carl. Your smile came back as you watched Carl become happy when you let him get some more.

Rick wanted to get it out of you, but if he couldn’t get it out of you, surely Carl could.

You could never say no to him.

© Intoxicated-Chan 2024, I do not allow my work to be copied, translated, modified, adapted, or put on any other platform without my permission.

Taglist ➳ @deansapplepie , @ladylincoln , @gamingfeline , @lady06reaper , @alanamarie , @daryldixmedown , @celtic-crossbow , @mrdixon , @itwasntaphasema , @duffmckagansbandana , @raspberryslxt , @itsrainingbisexualfrogs , @ingstadstarlight , @gamingfeline , @lor-geeked , @thegeorgiahuntsman , @snailss , @the-lonely-abyss , @number1bashbabe , @xmaeyonaise , @suniloli , @of-storms-and-sadness , @annhells , @sexyxdylanxobrien ,

⊰ Chapter 3 ⊰ » » YOU’RE HERE « « ⊰ Chapter 5 ⊰