#these aren't mine tho
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nirvusc0nc3pti0n · 1 year ago
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cats.
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elitisim · 10 months ago
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FADES WAVES AND TAPERS -CONVERSION COLLECTION
So I recently reached 500 followers, which is like CRAZY because I've only been posting content for a month?! The overwhelming amount of love and support I've received over the past month has made me misty-eyed on more than one occasion, ngl. Y'all have been so sweet and so wonderful and so extremely encouraging, I'm so proud to be part of this community💙! So, as a little thank-you present for everyone and as a nice end-cap for all the black male hair spam I did for Black History Month I've decided to drop a conversion collection of 21 male hairs themed around waves, fades and tapers for y'all!
Thank you so much everyone!
INFO:
None of this is my original work! All credit goes to @ceeproductions, @estrojans, @hellagoodsims,@xxblacksims, @xldsims, @pralinesims, & @mathcopesims.
Set contains 21 hairs for for Teen ➤ Elder Males
all of these hairs are gameplay safe! most of them are around 500 polys, the largest ones clock in at about 5k poly at most.
1024x textures
hairs are too short for root/tip controls so they're only 2 channels
credits, preview pictures, links to originals, poly counts and individual download links for every hair is under the cut.
these are meshes! the hair is NOT painted on the sims head like BG hairs!
but on the brightside that means they don't get that shiny look painted on hairs have.
some hairs have slight clipping issues around the temples but hopefully nothing too crazy tbh.
Tagging: @pis3update, @naturalhair-sims3, @xto3conversionsfinds, @kpccfinds
[DOWNLOAD MERGED]
[DOWNLOAD UNMERGED]
[PICK AND CHOOSE]
CREDITS:
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@ceeproductions: Taper Fade // 1.9k Poly // [Download Here] @estrojans: Sharp Waves Redux Curve // 500 Poly // [Download Here] @hellagoodsims: Afro Short // 4.3k Poly // [Download Here]
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@estrojans:: Sharp Waves Redux: Temp Fade// 500 Poly// [Download Here] @hellagoodsims: Brian Waves// 4.3k Poly // [Download Here] @estrojans: Sharp Waves Redux// 500 Poly // [Download Here]
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@estrojans: Sharp Waves Redux: Flame Design// 500 Poly // [Download Here] @hellagoodsims: Amaru Fade// 2.1k Poly // [Download Here] @hellagoodsims: AD Taper Fade // 5.1k Poly // [Download Here]
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@hellagoodsims: Caesar Fade / /500 Poly // [Download Here] @hellagoodsims: Taper with Long Part //500 Poly// [Download Here] @mathcopesims: Kevin Hair / 500 Poly// [Download Here]
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@hellagoodsims: Korey Fade // 500 Poly // [Download Here] @hellagoodsims: PG-15 Waves // 500 Poly // [Download Here] @hellagoodsims: PG-13 Waves // 500 Poly // [Download Here]
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@hellagoodsims: Wolverine Claw Fade // 500 Poly // [Download Here] @hellagoodsims: PG-14 Waves // 500 Poly // [Download Here] @hellagoodsims: Lance 720 Waves // 500 Poly // [Download Here]
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@pralinesims: Nonstop Buzzcut // 500 Poly // [Download Here] @xxblacksims: Waves on Swim // 500 Poly // [Download Here] @xldsims: The Vindicator // 2.5k Poly // [Download Here]
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claudia-lioncourt · 5 months ago
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INTERVIEW WITH THE VAMPIRE, 1.02 ...After the Phantoms of Your Former Self | 1.03 Is My Very Nature That of the Devil
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hoofpeet · 4 months ago
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wait was submas not something you came up with? i started following you in like the middle of your posting about it so i never really got what exactly it was about but i thought that was straight outta your brain haha 😅
oughhghhgg no submas is short for Subway Masters- I.E these guys from pokemon bw2 <3
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lilacerull0 · 4 months ago
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she's the door, she can't be the room
L'Amica Geniale - Elena Ferrante | Holly Warburton | Stephanie Says - The Velvet Underground | Winter Lady - Leonard Cohen | x | Suzanne Siegel
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valentjin · 1 year ago
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i wish we could do this instead of killing him 😇
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+bonus shot that looks nice but didn't fit so well when put in sequence with the others
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rabiesram · 7 months ago
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consider
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the---hermit · 5 months ago
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If We Were Villains by M.L. Rio
I read most of this book in two days. I really just spent two whole days diving into this book and I had such a good time. I don't know why I waited this long. I read a few so called dark academia books in the past few years, and this has definitely been on of my favourites. I definitely liked it more than The Secret History, the setting is indeed similar but at the end of the day the stories are two whole different things and this one was way closer to what I normally like. It was fast paced and captivating, I ended up loving the characters and their dynamics. I liked it so much that in my rating I ignored the fact that I thought the plot was a bit predictable, and just gave it five stars. I had a lovely reading experience, I hadn't fallen into a book like this in a good while and it was so good to do it again. I normally don't love the first person narration, but to be honest this book made me reconsider it. It's one of those books I will probably reread in the future.
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tabellae-rex-in-sui · 22 days ago
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I'm new to Sade so sorry if this is a stupid question, but was Sade gay? I'm currently reading Justine and noticed the passionate, semi-romantic descriptions of m/m sex, which contrast with the crude descriptions of f/m sex. I've not read all of Sade's books, but the ones I have read also feature characters who're mostly disinterested in women, who give off self-insert vibes (e.g. Dolmancé). Am I reading too much into it? IDK but I was wondering if you could shed some light.
Happy deathday to Sade!! lol
Really all that can be said with certainty is that he definitely wasn't straight lol. Like anyone who died before modern queer theory, Sade's sexuality can be difficult to label with today's terminology. He was certainly attracted to both men and women, so for simplicity's sake I just say he was bisexual. But really, who knows...
Characters that he uses as self-inserts like Dolmancé in PitB or Bressac in Justine are pretty exclusively attracted to men. Like you said, there's multiple times in his writing where characters will praise m/m sex and show blatant disgust towards sex with women. But if you look at Sade's life, there's only one known* male sex partner and many women. There's also several women Sade was in love with throughout his life, but there exists no letters of him professing love to any man. Could this be because male victims were less likely to go to the police, therefore less known to us? because women were easier to pursue in public? because even he felt the pressure of societal norms? because he kept relations with men better hidden? because any such letters or records were selectively destroyed by a relative? Who knows! It could be some, all, or none of these things. It's really up to the interpretation of the reader. The misogyny, philosophical extremism, and very culturally different ideas about sex add so many different variables to Sade's sexuality.
To add further confusion: gender and sexuality were much more correlated in Sade's writing (and seemingly in the time period in general, I mean look at the bisexual Lord Hervey being referred to as "the third sex"), male characters who get sodimized call it them "becoming women", women who put on strap-ons "become men", even women who get sodimized are masculinized: Saint-Ange says she wants to be a "Ganymede" to Dolmancé. So sodomy seemed inherently gay to Sade, regardless of the sexes involved or what roles they played. Whereas today, that's definitely not the case. Beauvoir follows along with the sexuality-gender correlation and suggests that Sade felt more feminine than masculine and his written contempt for female genitalia was a product of his own gender frustrations. From what I've read, most modern historians tend to avoid labeling Sade with anything other than "sodomite" and "libertine" only using "bisexual" and "homosexual" to label certain actions he performed like "homosexual sex" "bisexual orgy" etc. This is when the word queer is godsent.
Tldr; He's too 18th century libertine for modern labels. Colloquially, I default to calling him bi, but we'll never really know. Maybe he would have preferred gay due to his preferences/philosophies. Who knows. Safest bet is to just call him queer.
*Should go without saying but, there were obviously more. Latour is just the only named one with recorded proof.
#sade not really having any close male friends throughout his life is so crazy to me#like its the 1700s and you DONT have a homosocial-homoerotic Friend you profess eternal devotion and love to???#get with the fucking program man#but it does make sense for Sade tho; he was so antisocial and insecure I can't be too shocked he didn't have male friends#Ive always seen his prefernce for female friendships as an extension of his control freakness and misogyny#I don't think hed be able to maintain a genuine friendship with anyone he considered a societal threat; which eliminates any other noblemen#he liked to be the most powerful person in the room; so he only befriended those he saw as ''beneath'' him#We have that very telling letter he wrote as a teen to his father where he became close to another boy in his regiment#he says smth like ''I am his friend; I have reason to believe he may be mine but what can we believe anyway? Friends often prove defective''#he just did not befriend many men in his life#I think it's an ego thing but who knows#maybe he genuinely did enjoy the company of women more; or like how Beauvoir suggests; he identified more with women than men#or both idk; those aren't mutually exclusive#maybe sade would have liked the split attraction model lol#prefers sex with men but relationships with women?#or maybe he would have hated labeling everything#but he did love his numbers and data and theorizing so maybe he would have liked it#the machinations of his mind are an enigma#Fritz is so obvious. Like that man way gay; no doubt#Sade??? uh.. queer#but thats just my opinion on it all. there's no right answer and I'm not a historian/anthropologist/psychologist#ask#anon ask
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mitamicah · 8 months ago
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Jere and Jaakko at Böle Arena, 5.4.24 (my potato pictures)
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just-an-enby-lemon · 8 months ago
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The thing about "love is a sacrament that should be taken kneeling" is that it really doesn't fit marriage proposals because it is actually a sad and very catholic coded tbh sentence about humility and worthiness from someone who was at their lowest and it ressonates with me for the parts I agree but also for the parts that I don't and that make me think of an anxious teen on his knees doing one ot the most important rituals (the Confirmation) for a religion he doesn't really believe and that doesn't really accept or believe in him because he wants to make his mom proud and happy (De Profundis was hard for a lot of reasons but I was not expecting my catholic upbriging to be one of them).
The other thing about "love is a scrament that should be taken kneeling" is that everytime someone points out it's not actually about romance they complete it with "is tots about bjs" and like I can see why better than I can see romance but previous perfomance does not equal future results Wilde can write things that aren't puns nor inuendos (shocker I know). So it's not about blowjobs. But like if you want to use it as so, go wild, have fun. Just don't spread it as if it was intencional.
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majormeilani · 9 months ago
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sorry it's a thousand years late lol. idk what happened 2 me
Title: Curtain Call (Part 2)
Summary: DJ Grooves has to tie up a few more loose ends before he can leave the studio one final time. Some harder to tie than most.
Word Count: 8k+ content warnings: heavy mentions of suicide ideation and depression, smoking
[Part One can Be Found Here]
DJ Grooves sat stunned at the sight of the other bird in his doorway. It was something he probably should have suspected would happen but for how long had the owl been standing there? Why was he just looming in his doorway like that? Normally a loud mouth like him would have wasted no time barging right in and yammering away at him about some arbitrary nonsense but instead he was standing there. Silent.
DJ Grooves tried to even his breathing once more, fighting back the urge to let his tears flow enough for the owl to see. 
Stick it out for just a little longer, Grooves. 
The penguin leaned forward and began to zip up the suitcase he had just finished packing, giving himself a moment to try and think of what to say to The Conductor. Even though he knew in his heart that Conductor didn't care about him or what his whereabouts might be, he had figured that he had to talk to him about it at some point. 
And from what DJ Grooves could tell by looking at the owl's body language, The Conductor wasn't too keen on the news of him leaving the studio.
The owl was staring hard at the floor, hands stuffed into his pockets and shoulders slack. He didn't even glimpse up at DJ Grooves when he detected the sound of the penguin zipping up the suitcase. His beak was grit together tightly and he looked rather on edge despite his attempts to remain still. DJ Grooves could almost feel the anger radiating off of him; it was a sense he'd picked up on over the years of sharing the studio with the other director.
DJ Grooves stood up from his place on the floor, continuing to stare at the owl. The penguin's brows furrowed and he gently ground his beak and brought his hands together at his front. Despite the couple of minutes of silence the two of them shared, DJ Grooves was at a complete loss of what to say to him. 
After all, this likely would be one of his last conversations with the owl. 
What is one to say to the one who hates you with a burning passion? For the last time?
How would he want him to remember him? 
Did he want him to remember him at all?
The Conductor had picked up on DJ Grooves' movement, his head feathers perking slightly at the sound but the rest of him remained rigid. The owl's posture sank further and DJ Grooves detected that the owl grit his beak with a rather audible click.
Without looking up, The Conductor broke the silence with a harsh, disappointed tone to his words:
"So… ahm… that really werenae a prank, was it…?"
The owl reached up towards his own head feathers to ruffle at them, his nervous habit making itself known. Conductor shifted his weight onto the other foot and dug at the carpet with the toe of his dress shoe. His gaze was rather avoidant, still not daring to look at the penguin but he did his equivalent of glaring daggers at the dark carpet beneath him.
DJ Grooves could still tell he was rather tense, despite how the owl tried to mask his emotions and his miserable attempt at sounding calm and reasonable. It wasn't like The Conductor was good at hiding his feelings in the first place. Right now with the way he was carrying himself, Grooves could tell this was a rather obvious display of disappointment.
DJ Grooves looked down to his coat where the inner pocket was and gently placed his hand over it. The letter. He'd nearly forgotten The Conductor had seen the letter. His heart drummed as he wondered if the owl had gotten a good enough look at what was written upon it. 
Might as well try to act normal, nonchalant about it. Maybe try his best to keep things neutral. He best try not rock the boat too much before he leaves the shore. Which is definitely easier said than done.
But might Conductor think of his behavior as strange if he didn't try to gloat a little? DJ Grooves had to remember he couldn't let anyone think that something was amiss. Especially not Conductor of all birds.
DJ Grooves realized that he'd been making this silence entirely too awkward by overthinking everything in the moment. He had to blurt something out quick before the owl could start picking up on what was really going on.
"Sorry, darling, I just didn't want to break the news so soon-- but it seems word got around to you after all," DJ Grooves paused for a fake chuckle, bringing the back of his hand to his beak.
The Conductor's head feathers twitched again when DJ Grooves finally spoke and the penguin detected a soft scoff from him.
"Ye think aye wouldnae put it tahgether that yer actors were'll loudly spoutin' offa 'bout a sudden holiday? And tha yew were nae leavin' the studio because of sum letter?" The Conductor spat back at Grooves. "I'm nae an eejit, Grooves. I saw yer letter on tha boardroom floor. What's this whole thin' all about, huh?"
The owl's tone made him sound a tinge emotionally hurt by presumably being left out of the big news of his rival. He was still refusing to look up at DJ Grooves' face as well, like this confrontation was one he did not want to have. 
DJ Grooves feigned a playful smirk on the outside at the owl's reaction to him but on the inside he almost felt pity for him. The Conductor really didn't have the faintest idea of what was really going on and DJ Grooves was going to make absolutely sure of that. He couldn't know the truth. No one could know the truth.
DJ Grooves' hand gripped the edge of his coat before he reached in and retrieved the letter once more.
"... You mean this letter, darlin'?" he asked, pinching it between his digits as he held it by his shoulder.
The mention of the letter got The Conductor to look up at him and DJ Grooves watched as the beak of his rival scrunched up at the sight of the white envelope in his hand. 
"Why do ye always ask questions like that? Ye already knew what I meant by tha’ lett’r. What the 'ell is it for?" The Conductor scoffed again, voice lowering in volume as if he didn’t really want to ask. 
Of course, the owl had likely heard rumors of it and likely read the address of the letter briefly, but over the years of DJ Grooves living and working with The Conductor he had come to know him to be the type to affirm things very stringently. Even if everything around Conductor was spelling it out for him, he always needed affirmation for his suspicions and sometimes even then Grooves couldn't always tell if the owl believed them.
To answer the rather obvious, DJ Grooves brought a soft prideful expression to his face and stood taller on his platforms.
"I would have thought you would have known by now. Conductor, darling, it's from a film honor committee," DJ Grooves stated firmly, feeling his own feathers puff a bit at his lie.
"I 'ave never heard o' sucha rubbish committee in me life," The Conductor barked back harshly.
The old owl was folding his arms again. 
"It's pro'ly nae even a real committee…"
DJ Grooves felt himself jump at the accusation. Though it was true the committee was a sham, he had to convince his rival to believe in it. He was not going to let The Conductor stand in his way. 
"Wha--! Why would a fake committee send me a letter, darling? That makes absolutely no sense!" DJ Grooves sputtered back, cringing as his own voice raised in pitch and cracked.
"Yer darn right et makes no sense," The Conductor said, standing taller, jabbing a thumb towards his own chest. 
"If it were real they would'ave honor’d me ages ago! Me! Ah've won far mor' times than ye ever have and I 'ave never been invited to nae peck neck 'film honors committee' me whole career!"
DJ Grooves felt his heart drop in his chest. The other director was correct; no film committee had ever specifically honored him in such a way. Sure, Conductor had the occasional TV interview for news or other programs but a film committee specifically honoring him? Was something rather unheard of. Conductor's strong skepticism of the committee's non-existence was now breaking DJ Grooves’ confidence in his own lie.
DJ Grooves was starting to lose track of his original purpose in this conversation and decided his best course of action was to double down and his stubborn heart even told him the same. The penguin even felt himself grow angry and his breathing sharpened as he huffed at the challenge his rival had placed before him. Sometimes The Conductor knew just what to say to really set him off. And with Grooves' current emotional state, it was a recipe for disaster.
"Darling, you're being ridiculous right now," DJ Grooves barked back now, posture stiffening.
"Frankly, I think you're just jealous of my accomplishments. You always have been, darling! I think you're just upset that I have something that you don't."
DJ Grooves moved closer to The Conductor, watching as the owl seemed to tense as he approached. He then wavered the letter at The Conductor's beak in a teasing gesture.
"That's it! You're simply jealous of me. Jealous that I was finally recognized for my talents and success and you haven't been. After winning first place how many times now, darling? Fourty?"
DJ Grooves felt his tone grow mean and an edge to it; one that seemed to cause The Conductor to reel back from in shock and he watched as The Conductor's beak clenched and he brought his hands up to wave away the letter that had brushed against his nose. DJ Grooves pressed further towards him, their beaks inches from each other now.
"Face it, darling. You're simply just jealous of me and you don't want to admit that," DJ Grooves nearly growled at his rival.
The Conductor's feathers raised as he looked up at the taller bird from what looked like an attempt at a heated glare. The owl looked like he wanted to pout almost with the fact that Grooves had called him out in such a way. The jealousy was written across his face.
"Oh, PECK OFF, with ye!" The Conductor shouted back and retaliated by shoving DJ Grooves back from him and threw his arms down by his sides. 
"I ain't got nae reason tah be jealous o' a cheatin' peck neck like ye! Yer-- Yer just some crook anyhow with how ye always need some'ne else tah make yer succeed."
The Conductor gestured widely about the room as he spoke then pointed his finger straight towards the penguin's heart.
"Ye cannae do nothing on yer own! Without those litt’l lasses yer movie wouldnae 'ave been worth squat! And look a' how ye treated them! Diabolical."
DJ Grooves listened to The Conductor's rather ironic verbal abuse that was aimed at him, though he wished he'd covered his ears and blocked the loud-mouthed director out. He grit his beak at the mention of the darlings, an obvious dig at DJ Grooves to hurt him but damn if it didn't crack a pain straight through his heart.
Till the very end this is how things were going to be between them. No heartfelt goodbyes. No congratulations. No amicable hand shakes.
Just the miserable way that they have always been with each other since the moment they walked up to the studio doors for the first time till the moment they found themselves standing here.
It all made DJ Grooves so sick. 
So sick of everything.
So sick of Him. 
So sick of The Conductor.
DJ Grooves found himself clenching his fists by his sides, the letter in his right hand wrinkling under the pressure. He lowered his head to look towards his shaking fists and his tone dropped significantly and he spoke like his throat hurt.
"I've had enough of you and your vile words, Conductor. You can never be happy for me. You always have to ruin everything, darling."
DJ Grooves stepped closer again, getting in Conductor's face once more. Though he were merely acting before, his feelings of inferiority were resurfacing now. Even if this whole award acknowledgement thing were fake, his feelings now were raw and real. Words he'd wanted to shout at The Conductor were making themselves known and he did nothing to stop them from flowing out.
"Nothing I ever say or do matters to you. Why do you care what I do, then? What does it matter to you what happens to me? Or where I go? Or how I live my life?"
DJ Grooves voice grew a shake to it and he gasped briefly trying to catch himself from sobbing. He punctuated his next words by prodding the wrinkled envelope towards his rival's chest.
"Why. Do. You. Care? Why are you even here if you don't fucking care so goddamn much, Conductor?"
The Conductor leaned back now from DJ Grooves as the penguin got in his face once more. He was breathing rather hard himself from attempting to manage his own anger and stress at Grooves' aggression towards him. The owl's expression was now unreadable to Grooves; a cocktail of confused, surprised, angry, guilty. The elder director's posture sank pitifully like his shoulders were weighing him down and his forearms were hung in front of his chest in what looked like a protective stance.
It seemed DJ Grooves had caught him in a stalemate of sorts as the usually vocal bird was uncharacteristically silent under DJ Grooves' gaze.
"Why do you care…?" DJ Grooves repeated in a slow rhythm once more, as if the old owl hadn't heard him and needed him to speak slowly. A fire of anger was burning in his throat as he rasped the words out.
DJ Grooves' breathing was uneasy now as he glowered down at The Conductor. He awaited the response his rival would have to his questions.
The answer came in the form of the wrinkle of Conductor's nose and the aversion of the owl's gaze downwards. 
"... Fine, yer want me tah be happy fer ye?" the owl said in a light, fake-happy voice.
Before DJ Grooves could react, he found that The Conductor had yanked his letter from his grasp and had it presented in front of him.
The Conductor seemed to give the envelope one more glimpse before the sound of tearing paper filled DJ Grooves' ears. 
His rival was now shredding the letter right in front of him. Tearing each piece in half as he went until all that was left of the envelope and letter was small shreds of paper within the old owl's hands.
The Conductor then looked Grooves straight in the eyes and thrust the makeshift confetti towards the penguin. As the shreds rained down around them and at their feet, The Conductor said in a sarcastic tone, grandiose gestures with his every mocking word:
"Then Ah'm so peckin' happy for you, DJ Grooves."
The owl then promptly turned and marched out of DJ Grooves' door, vaulting over the guardrail to the floor below as he left. The last sound that could be heard was the patter of his feet stomping down the hall.
DJ Grooves stood there with a wide expression on his face, pieces of his letter lying like snowflakes in his afro and perched on his shoulders. He felt something like ice grow in his chest that captivated his lungs and made him feel as if he couldn't breathe. His legs lost all their feeling beneath him and he collapsed onto his knees on the floor.
He sat frozen, still not quite understanding what had just happened. Or if what had happened was even real. All he found himself doing was staring at the small shreds of paper that littered the floor now, seeing broken pieces of his own handwriting upon them. Tears in his vision blurred the words into blue fuzzy blobs as they began to flood and drip from his eyes.
DJ Grooves felt like he couldn't move. Every muscle in his body felt stiff. He could only think now, if not barely. 
Had Conductor really just done that…?
He almost couldn't believe it. 
Things really were always this way between them. They never could get along. There was no reconciliation between them. It seemed there never was any room for it to begin with. Even after everything, this is how The Conductor chose to act.
So this was how it ends between them. DJ Grooves with tears in his eyes and The Conductor, the one responsible for those tears, not even turning back.
The Conductor was one of his many regrets. And now that regret couldn't even be bothered to shut the door on his way out.
The Conductor was one of those who was always doing something to hurt Grooves and dig his hands into what he loved most and tear it away from him. Like his parents. Like the audiences around him. Like the friends he’d lost. Like the darl--
The sudden feeling of DJ Grooves' cell phone buzzing in his pocket awoke him from his weeping daze, his posture stiffening in surprise.
DJ Grooves reached into his pocket to retrieve it, trying to read the name that illuminated the screen. The name was blurred but became clear upon him blinking his tears away to roll down his cheeks.
Amor. 
His club's bartender.
He'd forgotten that he'd said for them to call. He'd nearly forgotten about the rest of the world being in his room for the past few hours.
The call being a rather important one still didn't shake Grooves from his current paralysis. He felt the buzz of the phone in his hands and his thumb hovered over the bubble to answer it but he just listened to the sound of it as the penguin on the other end waited for him to pick up. DJ Grooves himself waited for the phone to stop ringing and watched the screen as the phone notified him with a small pop-up that read "Missed Call" and listed Amor's name and phone number.
DJ Grooves exhaled a deep, shaken, breath at his failure to answer the call but at this moment he couldn't bring himself to put on a chipper act. There was no way he could pretend that he was fine after everything that had happened. He was finally growing tired of his own act and it was becoming hard to fight on like this.
How had he managed to do this so many times before? How had he found the strength to carry on? This was exhausting now. It felt like melatonin was injected straight into his veins with how lethargic he now felt.
Still, he knew he had to press on. He had to see this through. There was no way he would find comfort and closure if he didn't.
DJ Grooves' legs finally cooperated with his mind as they brought him to a stand. He still stared at his phone screen, the same way he had done before in the boardroom and made his way over to his bed to sit upon it. The mattress edge sunk beneath his weight and he began to recall what he'd planned to say to Amor on the phone. 
As he sat, instead of paying mind to the words he wished to use for Amor, he began to notice how soft his bed was beneath him. He soon found himself lying back upon it now. The way the mattress felt was something he'd never really paid mind to before and subconsciously he shifted further into it. The bed cradled him perfectly as he lay upon it. He supposed it was a small comfort he found despite everything, though he recalled the bed being where he'd spent most of his sleepless nights and nightmares. The place he'd woken up numerous times before. The place where he'd cried. The place where he'd dreamed.
Before he could think anymore, DJ Grooves fell asleep.
--
DJ Grooves felt his body being shaken. The fog of sleep still clouded his judgement and he couldn't make out what was causing his body to shake. He squeezed his eyes shut at the discomfort of being jostled about and he turned his face towards the comforter of his bed as the light from around the room was now permeating his eyelids. The shaking was now identified to be done by a small pair of hands. 
Someone was trying to wake him up. He felt a tug on his arm, pulling it from his body.
There were two small pairs of hands now.
A soft high pitch voice called,
“.... --ooves..?”
DJ Grooves caught only the last part that was said but the call came again, this time more clear and closer to his face.
“... DJ Grooves?”
The Moon Penguin now was hearing more clearly than before and his eyes opened slowly to meet with the gaze of two aqua eyes.
The eyes of Hat Kid.
The child smiled once she got him to open his eyes and she let out a giggle. DJ Grooves felt the owner of the other small pair of hands leap off the bed and patter to his bed side.
The other one was Bow Kid who was stood with one hand behind her back but she looked rather nervous but smiled anyway despite her nerves. She waved with one hand at the half asleep penguin.
The penguin lifted his head as he blinked away the sleepiness from his eyes before his eyes grew wide and he sat up on his elbow. How long had he been asleep for?! Panic beat in his heart as he felt about for his cellphone on his bed and his sheets but he didn't feel his phone there. 
Where was his phone?
Through his blurred vision he noticed Hat Kid turned to glance towards Bow Kid before she placed something solid and rectangular onto the bed. Bow Kid also pulled her arm from behind her back and placed a pair of star-shaped sunglasses on top of the rectangle. 
DJ Grooves picked up the sunglasses and pushed his arm against the bed to sit up to put them on. The penguin groaned sleepily and rubbed at his eyes with the back of his hand to try and clear them of sleep before he perched the sunglasses in place on his beak. He blinked a few times, adjusting to the brightness of the world before subconsciously straightening his posture as he stretched, a habit he was mindful of.
“... Thank you, darlings,” DJ Grooves said, groggily, also picking up what he now knew to be his phone, which had been placed on the bed by Hat Kid.
Briefly he forgot his manners and where he would have normally greeted the girls joyously, he buried his beak in the screen of his phone as he checked his notifications. 
This action brought a simultaneous frown to both the alien girls’ faces, one that DJ Grooves did not outright see.
DJ Grooves noticed that he'd received fifteen missed calls and three voicemails from Amor and he gasped sharply at the time. It was already five o’clock in the evening! DJ Grooves shamefully pinched his brow and sighed in exasperation as he looked to the ceiling.
Then he felt a hand pat on his arm trying to get his attention before he looked down and now noticed the rather worried and almost sad expressions of the two girls. Once Hat Kid saw DJ Grooves look her way, she pushed her bangs up with her hand and lay her palm over her forehead. Then she made an ‘a-choo’ sound and gave him a quizzical look and shrug.
DJ Grooves gathered from her body language what she was trying to ask. 
She was asking him if he was sick.
This brought a frown to his face.
After all that he put these two through-- they still were concerned about his well-being.
He didn't deserve it.
DJ Grooves shook his head in response, both an answer to her question and at himself.
“No, Darlin’--” a sudden sigh paused DJ Grooves, “I'm alright, sorry, darlings. I have just had a crazy busy day today. But DJ Grooves is a’okay.”
The lie made him honestly feel sick to even say. Were there anything in his stomach, he would've felt like vomiting. Maybe he was sick. But not sick in the way the kids were assuming him to be.
Hat Kid smiled softly back once more and Bow Kid looked at him with a tilt to her head. He wasn't sure as to her reason for tilting her head at him before he realized-- he never actually broke the news to them.
DJ Grooves glimpsed towards both of their eyes before he perked up slightly. 
“Oh-! Don't tell me I've completely forgotten to tell you two!” DJ Grooves started in an excited tone, slapping his palms down suddenly against his thighs.
Hat Kid and Bow Kid both jolted slightly at his sudden enthusiasm, blinking up at him in synchrony.
“Did you darlings hear about my invite?”
Both shook their heads in response to his rather vague question.
“I was invited to my first ever ‘film honors committee’ interview! It'll be broadcasted live on television in a couple days! Isn't that exciting?” DJ Grooves gloated, loudly and proudly.
If DJ Grooves had teeth they'd surely have rotten from how syrupy sweet his tone was and how rotten these lies felt leaving his beak each and every time.
Bow Kid’s jaw dropped in surprise before she started clapping for him. Hat Kid also responded in chime with some clapping and cheered with a, “YAY!” and a little hop from foot to foot.
DJ Grooves faked an elated laugh and posed proudly with a hand to his heart before he stood from his bed and bowed graciously, as he typically did the few times he'd won an award.
After a moment of this tiny celebration, DJ Grooves reached his hands out to place gently onto their shoulders, one on Hat Kid's left shoulder, one on Bow Kid's right. The two alien girls stilled in their cheering as they watched DJ Grooves kneel to their height.
He looked them both in their eyes and felt like he didn't know what to say. This would likely be one of the last things they would ever hear from him. What could he say to them? How could he make things alright? 
DJ Grooves felt like his throat was closing and he wanted to collapse and weep once more but he held it in the best that he could. He had to. Even the darlings couldn't know.
He tightened his grip gently on both girls’ shoulders but only in a comforting tightness. Though he felt the tension from their gaze as they furthered listened for what else he had to say to them. Bow Kid even placed her hand on his and gave his hand a gentle pet, as if to tell him to continue.
DJ Grooves breathed a shaken sigh and looked down as he swallowed. Then he gave their shoulders a brief squeeze and looked at them through the top of his sunglasses. His words came slow and shaken but he forced himself to say them.
“... I-I want to thank you darlings for everything. With-- Without you two, I wouldn't be where I am today. And though things have been-- rough. I'm glad you're still here. Standing with me. Today.”
DJ Grooves choked up and his tears started coming, but he forced a smile.
“And no matter what happens--” DJ Grooves breathed sharply in pause, “Just know you-- you both mean a lot to m-me.” 
He loosened his grip and rubbed his thumb gently on their shoulders as if to comfort them.
Bow Kid’s big purple eyes glistened and she stepped from DJ Grooves’ grip and moved forward into his shoulder. One wrapped around his neck and the other under his arm in a hug and she held him tight.
Hat Kid watched Bow Kid go and she too had empathized with the energy of the current situation and also collided with DJ Grooves in a hug on his opposing arm. She looped one arm around Bow Kid as she did so, hugging both as tightly as she could.
DJ Grooves felt an immense wave of grief wash over him in this moment. Though he knew he had to say goodbye to the two of them somehow, doing so was harder than he ever expected it to be.
Though to them this was only a temporary goodbye, it was his goodbye to them forever. And they didn't even know.
DJ Grooves just sat with his arms wrapped around them and he loosened his legs to sit on his feet. Bow Kid had buried her head into his neck and Hat Kid had the side of her head pressed into his. Eventually both girls separated from him but he almost wished that the hug wasn't over, at least for their sake.
He knew he didn't deserve anything else from them.
As the two of them stood in front of him, he offered them both a smile. He noticed that Bow Kid’s face was wet with tears but Hat Kid didn't have tears on her face but he noticed one small one fall from her eye.
DJ Grooves laughed, brushing the back of his hand against Bow Kid's cheek, the girl reflexively shrinking away from the touch but allowing her tears to be dried. Hat Kid used the wrist of her own shirt sleeve to dry her face. Both girls giggled back at him with peeking smiles.
“Sorry, darlings. I didn't mean to make you cry…!” DJ Grooves rasped, before adding with a forceful nod, “I'm just. Very thankful.”
The trio smiled at one another and DJ Grooves stood up, clearing his throat and clapping his hands together once.
“Oh! Darlings-- I forgot to mention! I actually depart on my trip to the film honors committee’s headquarters tonight. So this will be the last night we see each other for a while,” DJ Grooves said to the two of them. “Don't try to miss me too much.”
The two of them giggled at his little joke, Hat Kid even rolling her eyes a little in amusement before she stepped towards him and grabbed his hand and gave it a shake
“I'll miss you,” Hat Kid said in her small voice.
“Miss you too…” added Bow Kid, her hands linked together behind her back as she did a small side-to-side sway.
DJ Grooves' smile faded again at their words. But he gave Hat Kid's hand a gentle pat before she squeezed his back and then let go.
“Well. See you darlings later. I still have to finish getting ready to go, Goodbye!”
“Bye-bye!” Hat Kid called back as she headed for his door.
Bow Kid waved at DJ Grooves with her fingers spread wide and trotted after Hat Kid out the door.
Once the two were gone, DJ Grooves breathed out one of the heaviest sighs he'd probably ever done in his life.
The deed was done. Now only one more loose end was to be tied. 
DJ Grooves looked towards his phone that lie where he'd left it upon his bed. He picked it up, the display illuminating as he held it right. 
Amor.
DJ Grooves sat on the edge of the bed, unlocking his phone and navigating to his voice mail. He opened the most recent voicemail.
“Hey, Grooves. It's Amor. Why aren't you answering? I'm waiting in the lobby now and it's been over three hours since I’ve heard from you. I'm starting to get worried here. Please call me back or hell, text me even.”
Had Amor really been waiting for him all that time? DJ Grooves cringed at himself for worrying Amor like that. He knocked himself in the forehead for being so foolish as to let himself fall asleep when he'd made contact with someone with the intent to meet them.
DJ Grooves selected the second most recent voicemail and hit play.
“Hey, Grooves. I don't know if you had your phone off or something but the studio doors are locked and I forgot my key. I'm waiting down at the lobby now but there's nobody here to let me in. Please call me back when you get this or come down to the lobby. Bye.”
Oh, right. Most of the Moon Penguins probably left shortly after DJ Grooves broke the news to them so no one was there to let them in. Even The Receptionist having fled at the news was rather unsurprising but also disappointing. Again DJ Grooves shook his head at himself for failing to meet Amor on time.
He selected the oldest voicemail in his saved messages and hit play.
“Hey, Grooves. Is everything okay? I just woke up a couple minutes ago and saw you left this message. I'll be there as soon as I can, I'm on my way. Goodbye.”
DJ Grooves felt what little of his already shattered heart break evermore after listening to these messages and seeing how many times Amor had called. How loyal the penguin had been to him despite everything.
He heaved a big sigh and threw his phone down towards the carpet before rubbing the stress out of his own features. One last time. One last time he would have to say goodbye. Then he could head off.
DJ Grooves stood up, walked to the suitcase he'd packed of random stuff and stood it onto its wheels. He took a quick glimpse into his mirror, briefly preening himself to ensure he looked more presentable. Then he took inventory of what he was going to take on his person on this final trip; his box of cigarettes and his lighter, his clothes on his back and-- the letter.
With a spared glance to its place on the floor of his room, shredded and scattered about, a frown creased his beak. He supposed that it would have to be left behind and collected by one of the custodian birds when they came to work in a couple days. DJ Grooves left the suitcase briefly and tended to the pile of letter fragments, sweeping most into his palm and meticulously pinching up the rest. For a moment he just squeezed the pieces in his palm as if he expected the gesture to form the pieces back together as one, which didn't work of course. Then he carried them to his desk trash bin and disposed of them, watching most of them drift down into it, a few fluttering behind it into the corner of the room.
He heaved another heavy sigh as he stared at the pieces, his brows knit. His gaze turned to his desktop and he grabbed his key ring from the mat upon it and he reached for the handle of the suitcase. Wheeling the suitcase towards the door, he spared one last glimpse around his entire room.
Amor was waiting but he was still lost in his thoughts again. Letting others down again was his favorite hobby it seemed.
But even still, DJ Grooves stared at the stars all about his room. The ones that would mirror the stars in the sky on his walk to his death. A brief bout of nostalgia came over him as he remembered when he first had them installed. He always loved the stars.
As he gazed at them, his hand reached towards their switch on the wall and he slowly dimmed them, the whole room becoming enveloped in darkness. He shut the door and locked it, not sparing the same nostalgic glances towards his dressing room as he made his way towards the elevator to use in ascending to the main studio floor, to meet Amor, who he hoped was still in the lobby.
--
As DJ Grooves walked down the empty studio halls, only the sound of the clatter of the suitcase's wheels followed right behind him. He passed by room after room, this time the reverse of his trek from before. 
Some rooms were dressing rooms, some held props and costumes, some were used for planning and some were used for breaks. All of them once held fond memories as part of what he once called home. Where he'd accomplished so much-- but also the place that brought him so much pain.
Movie posters from past movies hung about the walls. Bulletins posted by the Express Owls and Moon Penguins boasted about their daily lives at the studio and even small markings of graffiti scrabbled here and there, some by that mustachioed girl who spouted off something about ‘bad guys.’
DJ Grooves didn't stop to admire any of them one last time, just made note of their presence, and continued down the hall towards the storage rooms. 
He passed between the crates that filled the entire room. From ceiling to floor, in stacks that staggered in height, filled with all the wondrous props and equipment necessary to make four decades worth of movies. DJ Grooves had lost track of which crates were his and which belonged to The Conductor. They'd certainly had more than many fights about the organization of that mess of a room. The penguin heaved a sigh.
DJ Grooves finally reached the elevator and pressed the up button with his knuckle and the elevator doors breached open. He stepped in and pressed the button for the first floor and then leaned on the wall of the elevator.
As he ascended towards the first studio floor, he held the suitcase handle tightly with one hand and stared at the floor. The loud clatter of the elevator filled his ears and he closed his eyes as the rickety old elevator rattled him.
Once the elevator lurched to a stop, DJ Grooves stumbled a little at the sudden jolt the elevator made as it reached the top. He never got used to that. Yet it was the least of his worries now as he stepped out of the elevator and walked down the hall and past empty studio sets.
DJ Grooves finally reached the front of the studio and stopped by the studio doors that lead into the lobby. He stilled his breathing the best that he could, both from his nerves still on high and from his lengthy trip back up to the lobby.
He still had his key ring gripped tightly in his palm, the keys pressing marks into his hand and he heaved a sigh as he pressed into the crossbar style handle of the door. His nerves caused him to peek through the lobby door as though he were a scared child, waking his parents in the middle of the night. After not seeing Amor in the lobby he gasped softly before pressing his body into the door as he scanned the room more for any signs of the penguin.
Then he noticed Amor was sat upon the bench in the lobby corner and DJ Grooves was overcome with a bout of relief. 
Amor had their arms crossed on their chest and gaze tilted down, their hat shadowing their eyes. They were silent as they sat there, not even responding to the sound of the locked door unlatching, despite the way it echoed about the empty lobby.
DJ Grooves' heart dropped a bit but he stepped out the door into the lobby and rolled the suitcase with him to his front. The door shut behind him louder than he expected it to and it made him jump and glance back at it. Then he turned back towards Amor and looked at them with knit brows.
The other Moon Penguin sat still in their place on that bench, unmoved. 
DJ Grooves looked at his keys that he still held in his hand and filtered through them to find a shining gold one with a key fob hung onto its ring that displayed the logo for his nightclub and the same emblem that proudly presented itself on the back of his jacket. He snapped the key free and it jangled gently in his hand.
Amor suddenly tilted their head up at the small sound of the key and their sunglassed eyes peered over at him.
“There you are, Grooves,” Amor said, pushing themself into a higher posture. “You kept me waiting so long; I figured you'd still come though. Never took you for being a punctual one, anyway,” Amor added with a small laugh and a smirk.
DJ Grooves was honestly slightly relieved at Amor’s patience and loyalty to him. His shoulders sagged in shame at how long he'd made the other wait for him but Amor, the ever patient and chill, still waited for him.
He really didn't deserve their loyalty to him.
Still, DJ Grooves put on one last fake smile to meet Amor's energy. 
“Thank you for waiting, darling. I'm so sorry-- everything that's happened has been so sudden and I've been preparing all day for it--” DJ Grooves said with the shake of his head as he tucked the rest of his keys into his pocket. “I just need your help with one last thing--”
“Whoa, whoa-- slow down there, Grooves. You still never really told me what's going on? I heard bits and bobs from the other Moon Penguins but I'm still at a loss here, friend,” Amor said as they leapt from the bench and stepped towards DJ Grooves.
The sound of the studio doors from The Conductor's side of the studio unlatching caught both penguins’ ears and then it shut again as briefly as it opened. DJ Grooves managed to catch a peek of some figure but couldn't make much out of what it was, though. Amor raised a brow at the door’s movement as well but turned their attention back to DJ Grooves. 
“Well…?” the purple feathered penguin drawled back up at their boss and close friend.
“Oh-- Oh! I-I’m sorry, darling. I was invited to a really, really important interview with a prestigious film honors committee and I snatched up the opportunity immediately-- and I need your help while I'm gone as I leave tonight.”
“With what? Exactly?” Amor said, tilting their head, eyes squinted. “... I don't have to star in any movies do I?” 
DJ Grooves found himself chuckling suddenly, startling himself from how melancholic he'd been the entire day. 
Amor. Ever humorous despite the circumstances.
“Oh, no, no, no, darling. Nothing like that. I just need your help with this--” DJ Grooves said, wavering his hand in front of his beak dismissively, reaching a hand out to grab one of Amor's. Then he turned their palm over and placed the enclosed key to the nightclub into their hand.
Amor stared at the key and then glimpsed back up at DJ Grooves' face, a confused look on their own.
“.... Your club key?” Amor said, still not quite understanding what DJ Grooves wanted of them.
“It's my master key to my nightclub, darling. I know it's a lot to ask darling but-- would you take care of my club in my absence?” DJ Grooves pleaded to Amor, cupping his hand over theirs. 
Amor was quiet for a second as they stared at the top of DJ Grooves' hand. Then after a moment Amor nodded their head and closed their hand around the key.
“... Alright. I suppose I can shift some things around to make this work. But you owe me big time,” Amor said with a smirk, lightly jabbing their enclosed fist against DJ Grooves' upper arm.
DJ Grooves smiled again and felt tears come to his eyes and he sadly chuckled in a thankful manner. Then he stepped forwards and wrapped his arms around the other penguin and hugged them tightly.
“Hey--! Hey, easy now, you big goofball-- no need to get sappy on me. You know it's nothing,” Amor said, patting DJ Grooves steadily on the back before giving him a firm brief squeeze in reciprocation.
“You're right, sorry,”
DJ Grooves separated from Amor and reached out to affectionately squeeze Amor's shoulder. 
“It just-- means more to me than you know,” DJ Grooves said.
Amor rolled their eyes but smiled back.
“Sappy again.”
The two laughed. Then DJ Grooves walked back to the suitcase that he left and grabbed its handle.
“Well. I'll see you around, darling.”
Amor waved and DJ Grooves mirrored them as they exited the studio’s lobby.
DJ Grooves’ nerves were still on high after this interaction and as soon as Amor was gone, he started breathing hard in slight panic. He'd pulled off the last thing he needed to in his plan, this time without a hitch. He bowed his head and placed it against the handle of his suitcase, trying to catch his breath.
Now was time to make it look like he just disappeared. He ran through his head his plan once more. 
It was time. 
It was time.
DJ Grooves stared out at the front lobby doors towards the desert outside. His heart was pounding in his chest as he stepped onto the front door mat, looking down at the Dead Bird Studio logo that was marked with countless grains of desert sand. The lobby doors swept open and he stared into the final hall he would cross to the outer doors.
His breath was shaky and he took slow steps towards the outer doors. He stared at his faded reflection in the glass door once he reached it, out into the parking lot. Despite how smeared the glass was with hand prints and other various smudges, DJ Grooves could see clearly in his own features how beaten that he looked. It shocked him how little anyone noticed how torn he was but he supposed it was because he was really good at hiding his pain as it were.
He pressed the door open. And out he walked towards his car.
The suitcase rolled erratically across the desert sand and straightened when DJ Grooves reached the paved section of ground. The parking lot was illuminated by the streetlights that glowed above and the warm orange of the setting sun. Once DJ Grooves reached his car he pressed the button on his car's remote and popped the truck open. He lifted the suitcase of nothing particularly special into it and stared at it before pushing the truck shut, resting his palms on its surface.
In the distance, he looked up to see Amor's own car pulling away and heaved a sigh as a gust of evening desert wind blew past him. He waved weakly with an open-closed hand gesture as he watched the other's headlights disappear into the distance as they turned onto a nearby highway.
DJ Grooves furrowed his brows and navigated to the driver side of his car, placing his hand on the handle. Then he remembered his burning desire for a cigarette and looked towards the pocket that held his final pack of them. He reached in and retrieved the pack and his lighter, holding one in each hand parallel to the other. Though he'd kicked the habit long ago that no longer mattered now, and thus he lit up a cigarette and leaned upon his car, which creaked slightly against his weight upon it.
He stared out at the clouded sky above as he inhaled the tobacco smoke into his lungs and created some clouds of his own as he breathed out. He coughed softly as he got used to the old burn but as he inhaled more he felt more at ease as the nicotine overtook his senses.
He was ready to do this once the cigarette burned out.
As he took drag after drag of his cigarette, he looked towards the studio one last time. He saw the figure of The Conductor by the front doors, locking them up for the night. 
The other bird director seemed to look around mindlessly into the expanse of the desert, but the distance made it hard for DJ Grooves to tell where he was looking. It really didn't matter if The Conductor saw him right now and he doubted that The Conductor would approach him after their conflict from earlier.
DJ Grooves huffed. He'd have to wait for the elder bird to head off before he could enact his plan. He took one final drag from his cigarette before tossing the corpse of it to the ground and stamping it out into the pavement.
The Conductor still stood there in the distance as if he were staring at DJ Grooves and though DJ Grooves wasn't sure if they met gaze, something told The Conductor to head for his train. The DJ director waited in his place as Conductor boarded his train and disappeared through its back door.
DJ Grooves felt himself smirk almost before shaking his head. Then he raised his car keys in front of his own beak between the tips of his digits and then. Dropped them onto the pavement. He swung his leg out to grab them beneath his platform shoe and kicked them under his car. The keys rattled as they slid under and DJ Grooves moved from his lean upon his car.
He never actually planned on leaving by car. His ending would be in a walk.
DJ Grooves looked out at the expanse of the desert beyond the parking lot. Then as the sun dipped into the sky for the night, DJ Grooves headed into it.
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66sharkteeth · 1 year ago
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Love how the Kastners are rich as fuck and apparently never thought to maybe invest in some therapy for their son
The Kastners very nice and supportive but ignorant people. They're supposed to kind of represent those people who just don't understand how serious mental health is and are the kind of people who tell you "Aw, cheer up!" when you tell them you're suffering from depression.
It's not because they're cruel. They've TRIED to help Claude in the ways THEY thought were best. They tried to set him up on dates, got him out of trouble, gave him kickboxing lessons as a kid to "blow off steam" (which horribly backfired). These were all them acknowledging Claude has a problem, but thinking he was just a little tightly wound. Surely he just needs to blow off some steam or find a nice gal! (*Or guy once he came out, which they had 0 issue with. Bc they are stupidly nice and supportive of him and everything he does, to a point he's taken advantage of it).
They're just unfortunately ignorant and are the type to think depression is a fancy word for feeling down. If Claude was ever open enough to talk about his problems (which tbh I don't think even HE is aware of the extent of), they'd probably just offer to buy him something or take him on a vacation to "cheer him up." It's not that they are against therapy or anything like that, it's just something that hasn't once crossed their mind. After all, that's for people who are ACTUALLY mentally ill and that could never be their son. He's just got some anger issues, that's all.
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bi-badass-geek · 6 months ago
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"Distraction" by @sanscarte
Read Up : Ao3
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yuriyuruandyuraart · 1 year ago
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AFTERMARE WEEK: day 3- light and heavy
a wedding ring; usually made of gold, platinum, or silver. it's given by one partner to the other as a symbol of commitment
such a small and deceptively light object should not be very heavy, but that does not prevent it from holding the crushing weight it's promise implies.
aftermare week is hosted by @bluepallilworld
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sga-owns-my-soul · 7 months ago
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regarding the shipping (that you ship everything) (i'm a few days late, i know, sorry), do you have thoughts on Radek/Rodney? i'm mostly a monoshipper (even though i want to be a multishipper), so since i ship McShep i'm sorta just lowkey "maybe i'll possibly read a fic or two for them" with other ships including either of them, but even still, i fucking adore Radek/Rodney and i'm a bit annoyed with myself for not properly shipping them, so, thoughts? cute? boring? fun? =D
(John/Todd too. but i like Radek/Rodney better (because i adore Radek) (like pls David Nykl is so cute) (have you seen Arrow? Anatoly pls https://littlegirlinvisible.tumblr.com/post/159026461523 (warning for flashing gifs)) (also i love Anatoly's beard) (but to get back to Todd i have a huge weakness for Christopher Heyerdahl and if it hadn't been for him idk that i'd have liked John/Todd as much as i do. John having to look up at Todd *whines pathetically*))
be well and have fun! (sorry about the rambly mess and all the parentheses)
ps. have you seen Hannibal? my dash had something SGA-related and directly below that a fucked up Hannibal fanart and my brain was like "tumblr user sga owns my soul would appreciate that" and it made me curious. fucked up show, fucked up ship(s), absolutely amazing.
i did not forget about you i've just been rotating this in my brain while putting out the 15 fucking (metaphorical) fires in my life that all popped up at once lmao
SO i have. a Lot of thoughts about rodney and radek as a pairing and you're getting them ALL so buckle up bc this will probably be long
first of all, rodney and radek have SUCH an interesting dynamic and i love the way they go from bitter rivals to reading each others minds with the flick of a switch and it gives SUCH old married couple vibes but they also have such, like, idk almost brotherly vibes??? like they regularly insult and belittle and attack each other but they also are the only one each other trusts (in the science departments) and the only one they let themselves rely on in a crisis. just that kind of "i can say whatever i want but you if you so much as imply something negative i'll break your teeth" vibes ya know????
anyways i think if they were in a relationship of any sort it absolutely would be hate fucking, like they get SO MAD at each other and they're screaming and throwing things in the labs and everyone takes The Cue To Leave bc they know that exactly 8 minutes after the violence starts, the sex starts and no one is paid enough to be traumatized by that lmao but it works every time bc they both emerge from the lab two hours later with messy hair and clothes but also with a brilliant idea that'll fix their 6 current problems and probably another 3 that haven't come up yet omg they would literally be The Power Couple but if you mention dating or any sort of Official Relationship they will both shoot you
also john/todd makes me fucking insane and i'm going to forever scream about how they're LITERALLY DESTINED TO BE TOGETHER JFC THEY ARE THE BRIDGE BETWEEN HUMANS AND WRAITH AND I FULLY FUCKING BELIEVE THEY WOULD RULE THE GALAXY IF THEY GOT TOGETHER I LOVE JOHN/TODD SO MUCH FUCK anyways i'm normal about that ship
ps i have not seen hannibal but the fact that you saw something from another fandom and thought i would like it is the SWEETEST THING EVER and now i feel like i need to watch the show
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