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theshelbyclan · 4 years ago

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Bells and Smoke

Summary: The youngest Shelby has to be send away to a convent, but you have no intention of conforming to their rules, even if you’ll die in the process

(Gif by @harmon-jane-black) A/N: Requested by anon: Could I request a Shelby sister where she is sent off to a boarding school and is getting badly bullied by teachers and pupils for being what they think is Birmingham poor scum. Maybe she comes home or gets visited and is losing her Birmingham accent and is a little thin and tired. V Polly and tommy nun scene vibes. Only if you aren't busy ❣️ x This has gotten really long, but this request gave me SO many ideas! Warning for abuse and neglect though. And I hope you like it!

Words: 6020 *** You couldn’t remember how it had all happened. One minute everything seemed to be fine and the next, life as you knew it had ended. Maybe it was Tommy’s idea, to give you the opportunities the others never had. But he never cared much about his siblings’ education. Maybe it was Arthur’s idea, thinking you’d finally become too wild. But he was too busy fighting his own demons. Maybe it was Aunt Pol’s idea, making a woman of style and class out of you. But she’d never abandon you like this.

All you knew was that one morning you had been in bed. As usual, you’d woken up with the workers as the factory whistles sounded, but there was no need for you to get up at five. So you’d turned around and tried to sleep on. But then Finn had come in and he roughly shook you awake. “Aunt Pol says you have to get up,” he had said, his voice filled with urgency. But you hadn’t been awake fully yet, “What… Why? It’s so early!” “You have to pack.” “For what? Where are we going?” Your brother had refused to meet your eye, “Not me. Just you.” And before you knew it, Aunt Polly had taken you and your small bag into the car and you were speeding out of Birmingham. At least Finn had come along, though Polly had forbidden him to go, but he had been adamant. “Where are we going?” you had whispered to him in the back. He had hardly replied to any of your question, but gave evasive answers like, “Away. Pol says it won’t be forever.” You remembered the all-encompassing feeling of loneliness that had washed over you in that moment. Was it something you had done? Were you being punished? Was the family giving you up? You were only fifteen, you’d never been away from Small Heath without any of your siblings by your side, and the separation had been too abrupt, too cruel. Suddenly, Aunt Polly had swerved to the right and stopped abruptly in front of the train station. “Get you bag,” she’d ordered you. Anger had flared inside of you, “No! You tell me where I’m going first!” “Y/N Shelby, I am your aunt and you will do as I say. Remember who you’re talking to and don’t think for one second that you will win this fight. Grab your bag and get out of the car.” Petrified at your aunt’s tone of voice, you’d gotten out of the car. And like a zombie, you’d walked over to the train. On the side it said Oxford. “Where do I get off?” You’d asked no one in particular. “Oxford,” your brother had never left your side, “Just sit tight until the end.” “You know what’s going on.” “I can’t change it, Y/N,” his eyes had been pleading for your forgiveness in that one moment, “I tried, I swear to God I did, but I can’t change it…” Not really understanding, you had only been able to nod, “Will you explain it to me?” “I’ll write.” Suddenly, tears had begun to fall from your eyes. The great unknown hadn’t even scared you that much, but the sudden realisation that everything had been altered had. “Here,” Finn had nudged you, as you’d hoisted your bag on board, “I nicked this for you,” and he’d handed you a hipflask, “might get you as far as Oxford. After that, you’re on your own.” His words had hit you hard, so there’d been nothing left to do but take a swig from the whiskey he offered. “What did I do wrong?” you’d asked him, uncertain. “Nothing. Don’t let the bastards tell you otherwise. You did nothing.” His voice had been so strong then. “Finn?” “Yeah?” “You can’t fucking write.” He’d burst out laughing and you couldn’t help yourself but join him. Then the train had started to depart and you’d taken one last look at the car with Aunt Pol’s silhouette inside. You’d turned to Finn and it’d been like you would never see him again. “Finn?” “Yeah?” “I bloody love you, you know?” He’d smirked, “I fucking love you too.” Eyes still locked, the train had started to move and just before it was too late, he’d added, “I’ll make sure you’re coming back home.” You’d clung to those words *** At five in the morning, the whistles sounded. Waking up this early was now your habit, as it was the habit of all the girls here. Like robots, you all climbed out of your sober beds, to put on your drab grey dresses and to stand neatly next to year beds. The dormitory looked like a prison cell and the girls’ faces were ashen. Shivering in the cold, you waited for inspection. “Adams!” “Yes, sister.” “Lee!” “Yes, sister.” “Williams!” “Yes, sister.” The first voice rang through the room like the bells of hell and the girls answered in meek tones. This was your morning ritual and there was no comfort to be found in it. Silently, you waited, while a part of you still dreamed of the horses you once loved and rode. Remember the freedom you felt, you told yourself. Remember the wind in your hair? The people who cared? The place called home? Remember Finn running alongside you? “Shelby!” You suddenly looked up, “Yes, sister,” and faced the nun who’d stopped by your bed. “What’s this?” she asked her rhetorical question. “My bed,” you weren’t supposed to answer, but it had escaped you before you could stop yourself. The middle-aged woman crouched down and tore up the neat bedding you’d just finished tucking in perfectly. Locking eyes with you, she gloated, “Look, it isn’t made properly.” “It was,” you replied through gritted teeth, “you just went and fucked it up again.” Without a warning, she struck you across the face hard. Then she flipped over the bed in one smooth motion and said, without any emotion, “Do it again.” Seething with rage, you counted to ten in your head. In your mind, you went back to Small Heath. You could feel the warmth of the fire in your kitchen, hear the men counting the money and could smell Aunt Polly’s cooking. This and only this was how you managed not to explode. “Ankins!” she continued her list. “Yes, sister.” “Elliot!” She was new here and you looked at her without turning your head, a skill you’d mastered in recent weeks. Some of the girls said she’d gotten pregnant, but she’d lost the baby before coming here. No one really knew what had happened to her. You only thought she looked too young, too fragile, like a little bird that could be squashed with a single movement of the hand. “Yes…” she mumbled, practically inaudibly. “Speak up, girl!” She hardly increased her volume, but repeated, “Yes, sister.” Just as you’d promised yourself you’d try to look out for her, evil incarnate turned around to face you again and snapped, “Shelby. You’ll report to my office after you’ve finished making your bed, properlythis time.” Great, you thought. After she’d left, you looked at your hands in resignation. Faint white lines betrayed the cane that had been on them. They’d only just healed. *** A few months earlier, Tommy was meeting a man dressed in black in an alleyway. As the rain was pouring down on Small Heath, they spoke in urgent whispers. “What did she do this time?” the concerned brother said with a slight hint of annoyance in his voice. “Theft, mainly,” the other replied, “And she was seen at the races, leaving the scene of the murder.” Tommy knew his sister hadn’t been responsible for the death that day, but none of it mattered now, “How much do they know?” “Enough.” Tommy took another drag of his cigarette and paused for a second, “Well, what do they want?” “Nothing. Leverage.” “Fuck…” “Thomas,” the informant urged, “Get her out. Out of Small Heath, and do it fast.” “Where the fuck is she supposed to go?” He shrugged, “Don’t you have family some place else?” “Can’t protect our Y/N when she’s away from here,” Tommy said coldly, not betraying the emotions he felt. “Then send her somewhere she will be protected.” Tommy sighed deeply, “I’ll ask Pol, eh? She’ll know what to do.” The man looked at Thomas Shelby: gangster, businessman, brother. His face was impossible to read and his feelings remained hidden. So he said, “Do it tonight, Thomas, if you can. He said she’d hang for it. Get her out.” ***

The first time you had tried to escape you didn’t think about it. You hadn’t even planned it and had just decided to run. With two nuns hot on your heels, you’d raced through the corridors. Pretty soon, you ran into your first locked door. You knew all was lost there and then. “Shelby…” the mother superior had mused as you stood in her office, “I knew it would be you.” “And how the fuck would you know that?” you’d replied quick as a flash. “You watch your tone, filthy rat,” she’d shouted, but added calmly, “We know of your kind, child.” Through gritted teeth, you’d questioned, “And what kind would that be?” “Gypsy scum,” she’d spat, before beating you senseless for the first time. The second time you tried to escape, you’d thought it through more. In the middle of the night, you’d crept out of bed and tiptoed across the dormitory. “Get back in bed!” one of the girls had whispered, “Remember last time?” “Yeah, I fucking remember, that’s why I need to leave!” you’d whispered back, voice filled with urgency.

Two hairpins. The day you’d found those were the day you’d planned your second escape attempt. Because if growing up in Small Heath had taught you one thing, it was how to steal and lie and cheat. And, coincidentally, how to pry open any lock. The first locked door was conquered quickly, but the second one had proven to be more troublesome. The large black doors that were said to protect you from the outside world did their job of keeping you all caged inside. The hairpins were too small to reach all the tumblers. Cursing under your breath, you’d soon realised that you disappearance had been noticed. In a panic, you’d grabbed a chandelier from the chapel and broken a window. Ignoring the shards you’d climbed through, while they tore at your skin and blood stained your nightgown. Once outside, the fresh air had an intoxicating effect on you. But you’d never gotten far. Again, you were brought to the mother superior, who stood waiting eagerly this time, cane in hand. “Go on,” you’d urged, full of defiance, “Beat me and get it over with.” “No…” she’d said suddenly, “you will tell me what your plan was first.” “To fucking get out.” “Why would you want to leave this place?” she’d questioned innocently, “Why would you want to leave the house of the Lord, where we only want to offer you safety and education? Where you can atone for your sins and regain your place in heaven?” “I’m not an animal,” you’d replied, “I need to be free.” And with that, the nun had smirked at you, “Free. You want to be free. Well, maybe this will finally break your spirit.” They’d locked you up in the cellars for three weeks. Darkness had enveloped you, only broken when she came in to beat you or feed you. You could never be sure. After every beating, she’d say, “Now, I’ll pray to God for you and ask him for his forgiveness.” “I’ll do it myself,” came your steady answer each time, “I’ll deal with him on my own.” And in the dark you’d cling onto the black Madonna around your neck, the only mother you still had left in this Godforsaken place. Now, some girls would be broken by now, but not you. If anything, you’d been more determined than ever to get out. But you had to be smart about it. Maybe Aunt Pol wouldn’t take you back and maybe you’d shame Tommy, but Finn would look out for you. Running hadn’t worked so far, so a new plan had started to form in your mind: a new plan that involved the boy that delivered the bread. Because as the days droned on after you were being released, you started paying attention to the delivery boy for the first time. You knew he’d always had a thing for you, but you weren’t interested. As a way out, you were now extremely interested. “Hi,” you greeted when it was your turn to help him unload. He was so startled by your talking all of a sudden, all he could manage was, “Bread…” “Yeah,” you smiled your prettiest smile, “Bread. That’s what you’re here for, right?” “I am.” “Good,” and you continued to unload the crates, sending him a few glances over your shoulder. He was still rooted to the spot, so you decided a bit more effort was required in this case, “You only come here for the bread?” you asked with humour in your voice. “Well, that’s my job…” he almost stuttered, but when you made eye contact, he finally relaxed a little, “What else would I come here for?” “Me?” you asked innocently. You could tell his confidence was growing, “Well, maybe a little. I mean, you are the prettiest girl in the school.” That was easy, you thought. So you flirted on and chatted him up and soon he was all yours, “Your name’s Billy, right?” “Yeah.” “Well, Billy. I need a favour…” This plan was a lot more complicated but it had a higher chance of success. And it would’ve worked too, if it hadn’t been for the younger nun who’d spotted you talking to Billy. Before the third attempt had even taken place, you found yourself back at the office. This time, the mother superior didn’t even speak. As soon as you were marched in, she’d grabbed you by your hair and attacked you with a pair of scissors. “Get off me, you crazy bitch!” you screeched, as strands of your hair fell down left and right of you. But the old nun remained completely calm in her tone, while becoming increasingly vicious in her attack, “Do you know what we do here?” You clenched your jaw for the pain, because this was no longer just about cutting your hair, but also hurting you as much as possible in the process. You had about a thousand replies to her question, but quickly weighed your options and decided not to piss off an angry old nun with a deadly weapon in her hands. So she continued, “We offer you the gift of education. Through hard labour, lots of prayer and penance the girls can find their way back to Jesus Christ. By humbling yourself, denying yourself rest, food and drink even, and working beyond human endurance one may come closer to our Lord. Save yourself from eternal damnation.” “No, thanks,” you replied inaudibly. When your hair had been cut, she crowed, “Your arrogance has been defeated and your vanity has been lifted. You will do well here now.” The fuck you would.

*** “Aunt Pol?” “What?” the woman snapped. He faltered, “Is this a bad time?” “It’s never a good time. Speak up, Finn.” “Fine,” and he took in a deep breath, mentally preparing himself, “When’s Y/N coming home?” Aunt Polly turned around abruptly and said, “For fuck’s sake, Finn.” “It’s been months!” “And we haven’t heard from her,” with a large gesture, Aunt Polly threw some more wood onto the fire, “If something was wrong, she would’ve written.” “Well, no…” her nephew started protesting. “Yes,” his aunt interrupted him, “She’s fine. It’s Y/N. She can take care of herself.” “She can’t now, can she!” Finn suddenly erupted, “Yousend her away and for fucking what?! She didn’t do anythingwrong!” Polly held up a menacing hand, “You mind your fucking tone or I’ll slap you back to where you came from.” “I’m sixteen, Aunt Pol, same age as Y/N. Remember, we’re twins?” He’d only gotten more heated, “Something’s wrong. I can feel it, alright? And she wouldn’t write to you anyways, because you’re the one that send her away! Why would she write to someone who doesn’t even fuckingwant her?” Polly paused for a moment and seemed to calm down, “What do you mean you feel it?” “I just know, Aunt Pol, like when we were little and she fell in the Cut and I couldn’t breathe? It’s like that, only… longer.” She put down her black cigarette, “You’ve been dreaming, haven’t you?” “I dream about her, but I can never see her,” he nodded, “And sometimes…”

“What?” “It’s stupid…” “Finn, you tell me, right now!” everything about her was focused on the urgency of the situation now. But he didn’t understand, “Seagulls, alright? I keep dreaming about seagulls.” “Fuck,” his aunt whispered to herself, “I need to talk to Tommy.”

“Aunt Pol, you’re missing the fucking point!” he was seething again, “I was trying to talk to you about Y/N! I just want to know why you send her away and whenshe’s coming back!” “I didn’t send her away. Tommy said we didn’t have a choice,” she grabbed her coat and continued talking to herself, “I thought she’d be safe there…” “Isn’t she?” Finn asked, panicking as a result of his aunt’s strange behaviour. “Seagulls, Finn, fucking seagulls!” *** You couldn’t understand why they hated you so much. At first it had just been the nuns, and you had a vague notion of them calling you ‘gypsy scum’ had something to do with it. From the start, they’d commented on your accent, reminded you of where you came from and told you that you were nothing compared to the others girls here. And in a way this made sense: on the one hand this school had the outward appearance of being an institution of learning for young ladies, but the reality was very different. Parents who no longer wanted to deal with them or who had ‘shamed’ their families often dumped girls here. Others were orphans. Either way, the nuns collected the large amount of money paid for each girl and treated all of you badly. And you weren’t a complete idiot and you knew you were partially to blame for the situation as it was now. You knew you hadn’t made a great entrance when you walked into the school, but even from the start they had disliked you. But your resistance had made it worse, much worse. All the girls were treated harshly, had to work and were kept in line, but you were being treated like a slave held captive. There was zero intention on your part to come into the school to make friends. From the moment you’d stepped off that train, you’d decided you were done with people. All you wanted was your brother, and the rest of the family if they still wanted you. But after a few weeks, you had started craving some connections and you had tried to make friends with the other girls. But it soon became clear that you had very little in common with them. This however, wasn’t the main problem: they feared you. Your defiance made them anxious to be around you and receive similar punishments to yours. They kept away. “Elliot!” you whispered to the new girl, who was crying in the dark. You rolled onto your other side in bed to face her and tried to ask her gently, “What’s your name, your first name I mean?” After a few residual sobs, she said softly, “Anna.” “I had a cousin called Anna,” you smiled at her, “Why are you crying? Who do you miss?” “It’s not who I miss, it’s about who doesn’t miss me…” “How do you know…” you started, but you were interrupted. “Don’t talk to her!” another girl called out and Anna turned around to look at her. The girl continued, “Yeah, I’m talking to you. Don’t talk to Y/N. She’ll get you in trouble. Just… stay away from her.” Anna looked at you for a few seconds, eyes filled with fear and then she turned onto her other side. You couldn’t even blame her really. She was new. But slowly, it only got worse. All the girls crossed the halls when you passed and not only did they begin to shun you, but they started taking your things, stealing your food at times and made you an outcast in every sense of the word. And you suddenly understood: if they made you stand out even more, all the attention would be drawn to you. The nuns would leave them alone. You were the easy scapegoat, because you’d been the most likely choice from the start. And as the months wore on, you started to wither away. Jealous or full of hatred, you couldn’t tell, but the other girls tried to hurt you as much as the nuns did. You were cold at night because they’d taken your blankets. You didn’t eat because you were being punished. You didn’t sleep because you were locked up downstairs and the beatings kept you awake. And so you fell ill, heavily. After you recovered, you stopped eating, sleeping, fighting. Not because you no longer could, but because the loneliness had finally caught up with you: you no longer wanted to. *** Tommy watched his aunt as she strode over towards him. He’d known the woman for years and usually he would be annoyed by her interrupting his meeting, but by the way she walked, he knew she wouldn’t wait for anyone right now. “Get out,” she told the man Tommy had been talking too. He left at once. “It’s Y/N,” she said as soon as he’d gone, “We need to get her out.” “She’s at the school, the one you recommended, Pol. You told me she’d get a good education there.” “We were wrong, Thomas, wrong to send her away.” “What’s all this, eh?” he frowned, “We had no choice and she alright where she is. We took care of it.” With a wave of her hand, Polly referred to Finn, “He feels she’s in danger.” And Tommy turned to his youngest brother, raising his eyebrows sarcastically, “Is that right?” “I have a bad feeling, Tom…” Finn said uncertainly. “He’s been dreaming of seagulls,” Polly emphasized, locking eyes with her nephew. “Fucking seagulls…” he rubbed his head, “More gypsy witchcraft?” Swiftly, she slapped Tommy across the face, “You’ve forgotten where you’re from.” Quickly, Tommy’s face went through a range of emotions. First there was anger and the urge to strike back. Then there was the reaction of wanting to hide, like he was being chastised just like when he was little. The hurt over her comment came next, swiftly followed by a sense of shame, because she was right. His face settled on worry over his youngest sister. “What do we do?” “What will happen if we get her back to Small Heath?”

Tommy lit a cigarette and thought out loud, “Connor wants her dead. He has high influence in the police and he’s using her as leverage, after having seen her at the races.” “Y/N didn’t kill that soldier!” Finn called out, full of indignation. “Yes, we know…” Tommy said in a low voice, “But that doesn’t fucking matter because no one’s going to believe our word for it against his.” “Who else knows?” Polly continued. “My guess is no one does yet…” “JOHN!” Polly howled suddenly and for a second Tommy could only blink. Then he continued, “If anyone else knew, we’d heard by now. I’m guessing he intends to save the information for when he can use it.” Aunt Polly bend down and started unlacing one of her boots. That’s when John walked in and he immediately paused when he felt the tension hang in the air. “Take this,” she ordered him and handed him the small revolver that she kept hidden in her boots, “Shoot Connor.” “Fucking what?” he nearly spit out his toothpick. John looked at Tommy for an explanation, but it didn’t come. Instead Tommy asked Polly, “Then what?” “We go to Oxford.” Tommy nodded slowly, “John, go on. Shoot the man. Get Arthur out of bed when you’ve done it.” Shrugging like it was just another small task he had to fulfil without much enthusiasm, John walked off with the gun in hand. But Finn said carefully, “What if I was wrong?” “Have you ever been wrong about your sister?” Aunt Polly asked, “Apart from that time you thought she was in love with that Jewish boy…” “No.” “Trust your gut, Finn,” Tommy confirmed, “Pol’s right.” Aunt Polly smiled at him with an almost motherly warmth, “Let’s bring Y/N home.” *** Eventually you were moved to the hospital wing of the school. The neglect and lack of food had caused your body to shut down and you could no longer force yourself to get up each morning. At first, you were branded lazy and got punished for it. Finally, even the nuns acknowledged this was serious and the last thing they needed was another girl dying at their school. You’d lost all feeling for days, drifting in and out of sleep. One nun took care of you and she was different from the others. During your hazy periods, she tried to persuade you to eat, but with the last strength you did have, you refused. If you were to die, it’d be your own choice. “Y/N…” someone whispered to you gently. You tried to open your eyes, but it felt like lifting bricks with muscles you did not have. “Y/N,” the voice said again, and you realised this wasn’t the nun. Slowly you opened your eyes and saw Anna, sitting by the side of your bed. “What do you want?” you croaked. She looked down and said, “I came to see you.” “Why?” “Because I’ve made a mistake.”

You didn’t care for her feelings. You knew she despised you just like the others did and you didn’t need another girl gloating by your bed. So you decided to just wait and not answer her. “The girls told me you were scum,” she continued, “that you didn’t belong here. They said that’s why you always got into trouble, because you’re just Birmingham working-class trash.” Great, you thought, and how is this supposed to help? “When they told me to not talk to you, I listened. I thought it would help, that I would fit in more and the nuns wouldn’t beat me like I saw them do with others. But I was wrong.” “The nuns don’t need a reason,” you replied before you could stop yourself, “Reasons help, but they will find a way to vent their cruelty, no matter what.” “That night,” Anna said, “you talked to me and asked me who I missed. You were the only one that asked me why I was crying.” “I didn’t want you to feel too alone…” Anna nodded, “I know. That’s why I’m here.” But you didn’t understand, “Why are you here?” “Y/N. You’re not alone. Tell me, who do you miss?” Much to your own annoyance, tears welled up in your eyes. For last couple of months you had tried so hard not to think of Finn, Arthur, John and Ada. And you tried to ban Polly and Tommy especially from your mind, always wondering why they didn’t want you. Your heart can be cruel like that: those who don’t want you, you miss the most. Anna took your hand in hers and for the first time you felt another human being without pain. And so you started telling her of your brothers, of your aunt, of the horses and factories and of the streets of Small Heath. Anna didn’t say a word, but she listened intensely. After you’d cried all your tears and there were no more stories left to tell, all she said was, “Please. Eat.” When she offered you soup, you ate. *** It was a sight to behold: Polly Gray walking through the city of academia with four brothers practically having to run after her to keep up. When she arrived at the front doors of the convent, she didn’t ask to come in, but simply walked on into the halls. “Aunt Pol,” John ventured, “What do we do?”

“Keep up,” she said simply. Arthur looked around nervously. He didn’t like nuns and convents. But Tommy and Finn scanned every room and corner for you. Left and right, girls looked up in surprise as the strange family invaded their home. “Who’s that?” they whispered. But the nuns urged them away and said, “No one. Don’t look at them. They don’t belong here.” Tommy frown deepened as he noticed the faces of the girls. These weren’t what he expected. Of course, he wasn’t familiar with schools like this one, but he knew education played a part. These girls all looked tired, downtrodden and most of them were cleaning or scrubbing the floors. He shared a look with Aunt Polly and she nodded in understanding. “How are we going to find her?” Finn asked. “Oi!” Arthur called out to one of the girls, who jumped up at his voice, “Y/N, you know her?” “No, sir…” she shook. “Listen to my voice,” John added, “What about a girl who sounds like me?” And then one other girl stepped forward and she tilted her chin up high as a sign of arrogance, “She’s not here.” “And whyis she not here?” Polly asked pointedly. The girl got nervous, but tried to keep composure, “Because she’s filth and this is a decent school.” Again, Tommy looked around at the skinny girls, all dressed in the same drab depressing dressed, “Decent, eh?” His low menacing voice knocked all the attitude out of her, so she changed her mind, “She was taken to the hospital ward a few weeks ago.” “Where,” Arthur demanded. “North wing,” she gulped.

Aunt Polly marched through the halls like a woman on a mission. Her face bore a gritty look of determination and none of the bells, smoke and threats of a holy place could make her quiver. In fact, God shook as she walked passed.

Still, one nun tried to stop her, but before she could open her mouth in protest, Aunt Polly had pushed her aside and casually commented, “Better get out of the way, sister, you certainly won’t be the first woman of God I’ve knocked down.” When they entered the hospital wing, they walked into another depressing space filled with beds in lines. Most of them were empty, but one nun stood up and walked over to Polly. Her first instinct was to actually knock down this one, but when she saw her soft face, she paused. “Y/N Shelby,” she demanded, “We’ve come to take her home.”

“You’re her aunt?” the nun asked, “She’s asked for you.” “Is she alright?” Finn stepped forward, “What was wrong with her?” “We thought she might not make it. She stopped eating, you see,” the nun explained. John frowned and protested, “That’s not Y/N. She would never refuse food, unless…” Tommy didn’t need to hear the ‘unless’; worry was already eating him alive inside. So he walked around in search for his sister. He found her in a bed, with another girl sitting next to her. His sister was asleep. “Who are you?” Polly demanded harshly. But the brothers couldn’t speak when they saw their sisters. You were too skinny, eyes sunken deep and bruises were still visible on your face. The long black hair was gone. In many ways, it wasn’t their sister anymore, just a shell. The nun answered when the other girl was too afraid to, “This is Y/N’s friend. She came to visit her every day, even though she wasn’t allowed to.” Polly lifted one eyebrow, “Then why did you allow it?” “Anna got Y/N to eat again. She’s the reason she’s alive.”

Anna. Polly walked over to her and carefully took her hand, “You watched over my niece.” “I didn’t want her to feel alone. She felt abandoned, she said…” Anna said in a soft voice. Polly shook her head in an effort to banish the emotions, “Thank you, Anna. You’re a good friend and a guardian angel.” “What did they do to her?” John asked her through gritted teeth. “She was isolated, singled out for being… different.” Anna explained without meeting their eyes, “She tried to fight them from the start, but never won. She kept trying to run away. They beat her, kept her locked up in the cellar, but when the other girls turned on her and she thought she would never leave this place, she just… gave up.” Slowly, Finn had walked over to the other side of the bed. Clumsy but lovingly, he started stroking the hair out of your face. Seagulls, he thought. “Who’s in charge here?” Tommy suddenly spoke. “The mother superior has an office down the hall,” the nun said, “Anna can take you there.” “No,” Anna gasped, “I can’t…” Fear was written all over her face.

“What’s wrong with the office?” Tommy asked her with unusual kindness. “It’s where she…” And in an instant they all understood. So Tommy demanded, “Tell that woman to come here.” “She won’t like it, sir…” “You fuckingtell her to come here,” Tommy spat filled with venom, “Or I will burn this entire place down to the ground, and don’t think for a second I won’t fucking do it.” So the nun with the gentle face nodded and walked off. Somehow, Tommy’s explosion had triggered some old memories in you. Before you were properly awake, you dreamed of being back in your bed in Small Heath. The smell of the factories penetrated your nose and you could hear your family arguing. But when you opened your eyes, they were actually there. You looked at them one by one and stopped at Finn, “You said you’d explain.” “And I will,” he said, “when we get home.” “Am I allowed to go home?” you questioned in disbelieve. Aunt Polly shook her head, “You should’ve never been anywhere else.” “Can’t protect you if you’re not at home…” Tommy added with a slight hint of guilt in his voice. “It’s safe now,” John said, “I’ve dealt with it.” And just the way he said it made you smile a little. “Arthur, John,” Tommy started ordering them in his usual business-like manner, “Take Y/N out of here.” And Arthur lifted you out of the bed into his arms like it was nothing. “Finn, you go with them. Make sure you get her things.” At that, John pulled a gun and Finn nodded solemnly. “What about Anna?” you asked, looking at your friend, “I won’t leave her here.” “Pol and I are going to have a word with the mother superior,” Tommy stated matter-of-factly. You sighed in relief, but Anna still had a look of confusion on her face, “What will that do? She won’t listen to anyone.” “She’ll listen to us, love,” Polly said to her with a reassuring smile that left very little room for arguments, “We’ll make sure of it.” You smiled at Anna too, “This convent will be closed by tomorrow. Trust me.” “We’ll see you at home, Y/N,” Tommy said, “And then we’ll talk.” Just before Arthur walked out of the door with you in your arms, Aunt Polly ran over to you and pressed a kiss on your forehead, “Safe journey, sweetheart.” Then there was just Tommy and Polly left, clearing their faces of all sentiment and hardening their features. Arms crossed, they waited and knew what had to be done, and nothing would stop them from doing it.

“Mr. Shelby, Mrs. Gray?” the hospital nun had reappeared, “The mother superior will see you now.”

***

Masterlist

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gladiates · 4 years ago

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56 french-language film recs!

I wanted to find some movies I can watch to improve my French, so I looked for films available on Kanopy (which is rly cool--if you live in the US, you can stream some movies for free if your library or school subscribes to it!) All of the following films are on Kanopy, and I imagine you can also find many of them on p*racy sites (totally not endorsing that at all no sir!). I’ve listed each film’s title along with its year and score on IMDB. I only included movies with at least 1,000 IMDB ratings and an average of at least 7/10 so they’re all reasonably acclaimed! I also included a short summary of each from IMDB as well. List below the cut because it’s long!

Cleo From 5 to 7 (1962, 7.9 from ~17.0k votes): Cleo, a singer and hypochondriac, becomes increasingly worried that she might have cancer while awaiting test results from her doctor.

The Rules of the Game (1939, 8.0 from ~26.6k votes): A bourgeois life in France at the onset of World War II, as the rich and their poor servants meet up at a French chateau.

Breathless (1960. 7.8 from ~73.1k votes): A small-time thief steals a car and impulsively murders a motorcycle policeman. Wanted by the authorities, he reunites with a hip American journalism student and attempts to persuade her to run away with him to Italy.

The 400 Blows (1959, 8.1 from 105.1k votes): A young boy, left without attention, delves into a life of petty crime.

Purple Noon (1960, 7.8 from 14.2k votes): Tom Ripley is a talented mimic, moocher, forger and all-around criminal improviser; but there's more to Tom Ripley than even he can guess.

The Return of Martin Guerre (1982, 7.4 from ~4.0k votes): In medieval France, some villagers challenge a man's claim of identity when he (as he says) returns home from some time in the army.

Last Year at Marienbad (1961, 7.8 from ~20.3 votes): In a strange and isolated chateau, a man becomes acquainted with a woman and insists that they have met before.

The Wages of Fear (1953, 8.1 from ~54.5k votes): In a decrepit South American village, four men are hired to transport an urgent nitroglycerine shipment without the equipment that would make it safe.

Tell No One (2006, 7.5 from ~50.7k votes): An accidental discovery near a doctor's estate stirs up some painful memories eight years after his wife's hideous murder, and now, things are bound to take a turn for the unexpected. Does the good doctor know more than he's letting on?

Queen Margot (1994, 7.4 from 16.3k votes): Young Queen Margot finds herself trapped in an arranged marriage amidst a religious war between Catholics and Protestants. She hopes to escape with a new lover, but finds herself imprisoned by her powerful and ruthless family.

Un Flic (1972, 7.1 from ~8.2k votes): After a shaky first heist, a group of thieves plan an even more elaborate and risky second heist.

Monsieur Hulot's Holiday (1953, 7.5 from ~16.8k votes): Monsieur Hulot comes to a beachside hotel for a vacation and accidentally, but good-naturedly, causes havoc.

La Haine (1995, 8.1 from ~150.0k votes): 24 hours in the lives of three young men in the French suburbs the day after a violent riot.

Alphaville (1965, 7.1 from 22.9k votes): A U.S. secret agent is sent to the distant space city of Alphaville where he must find a missing person and free the city from its tyrannical ruler.

Tomboy (2011, 7.4 from 18.4k votes): A family moves into a new neighborhood, and a 10-year-old named Laure deliberately presents as a boy named Mikhael to the neighborhood children.

Full Moon in Paris (1984, 7.4 from 3.8k votes): Louise, a young woman, who recently finished her studies in arts, is working as a interior decorator trainee. Playing the game of seduction, her life becomes more and more complicated.

Bob the Gambler (1956, 7.7k from 10.8k votes): After losing big, an aging gambler decides to assemble a team to rob a casino.

La Chinoise (1967, 7.1 from ~6.2k votes): A small group of French students are studying Mao, trying to find out their position in the world and how to change the world to a Maoistic community using terrorism.

The Innocents (2016, 7.3 from ~9.6k votes): 1945. Mathilde is a French Red Cross doctor working on a mission to help the French survivors of the German camps. While she works in Poland, she is asked for help by a nun. In her convent, several nuns are pregnant.

Germinal (1993, 7.1 from ~4.7k votes): In mid-nineteenth-century northern France, a coal mining town's workers are exploited by the mine's owner. One day, they decide to go on strike, and the authorities repress them.

BPM (Beats Per Minute) (2017, 7.4 from ~13.4k votes): Members of the advocacy group ACT UP Paris demand action by the government and pharmaceutical companies to combat the AIDS epidemic in the early 1990s.

Touchez Pas Au Grisbi (1954, 7.8 from ~6.7k votes): An aging, world-weary gangster is double-crossed and forced out of retirement when his best friend is kidnapped and their stash of eight stolen gold bars demanded as ransom.

Jeanne Dielman, 23 Commerce Quay, 1080 Brussels (1975, 7.8 from ~7.4k votes): A lonely widowed housewife does her daily chores, takes care of her apartment where she lives with her teenage son, and turns the occasional trick to make ends meet. However, something happens that changes her safe routine.

Port of Shadows (1938, 7.8 from ~8.2k votes): A military deserter finds love and trouble (and a small dog) in a smoky French port city.

Lumumba (2000, 7.2 from ~1.8k votes): The true story of controversial leader of independent Congo, Patrice Lumumba.

Three Colors: Blue (1993, 7.9 from ~89.6k votes): A woman struggles to find a way to live her life after the death of her husband and child.

The Young Girls of Rochefort (1967, 7.7 from ~8.4k votes): Two sisters leave their small seaside town of Rochefort in search of romance. Hired as carnival singers, one falls for an American musician, while the other must search for her ideal partner.

The Brand New Testament (2015, 7.1 from ~29.8k votes): Did you know that God is alive and lives in Brussels with his daughter?

La Rafle (2010, 7.1 from ~8.2k votes): A faithful retelling of the 1942 "Vel' d'Hiv Roundup" and the events surrounding it.

Diabolique (1955, 8.0 from ~61.4k votes): The wife and mistress of a loathed school principal plan to murder him with what they believe is the perfect alibi.

OSS 117: Cairo, Nest of Spies (2006, 7.1 from ~18.5k votes): Secret agent OSS 117 foils Nazis, beds local beauties, and brings peace to the Middle East.

Mon Oncle (1958, 7.8 from ~18.8k votes): Monsieur Hulot visits the technology-driven world of his sister, brother-in-law, and nephew, but he can't quite fit into the surroundings.

A Man Escaped (1956, 8.3 from ~19.1k votes): A captured French Resistance fighter during WWII engineers a daunting escape from a Nazi prison in France.

The Well-Digger's Daughter (2011, 7.0 from ~3.6k votes): In 1930s southern France, a father is torn between his sense of honor and his deep love for his daughter when she gets in trouble with the wealthy son of a shopkeeper.

Weekend (1967, 7.2 from ~13k votes): A surreal tale of a married couple going on a road trip to visit the wife's parents with the intention of killing them for the inheritance.

Claire's Knee (1970, 7.6 from ~9.0k votes): On lakeside summer holiday, a conflicted older man is dared to have a flirt with two beautiful teenage stepsisters despite his betrothal to a diplomat's daughter and the fact that the girls have boyfriends.

Shoot the Piano Player (1960, 7.5 from ~17.5k votes): Charlie is approached by his crook brother Chico, who is chased by two gangsters. Charlie helps him to escape, but he upsets the criminals, so when his brother Fido is kidnapped, Charlie has to take an attitude with tragic consequences.

My Night at Maud's (1969, 7.9 from ~10.8k votes): The rigid principles of a devout Catholic man are challenged during a one-night stay with Maud, a divorced woman with an outsize personality.

Eyes Without a Face (1960, 7.7 from ~27.5k votes): A surgeon causes an accident which leaves his daughter disfigured, and goes to extremes to give her a new face.

Three Colors: Red (1994, 8.1 from ~90.4k votes): A model discovers a retired judge is keen on invading people's privacy.

The Grocer's Son (2007, 7.0 from ~2.3k votes): Antoine moves home to help his mom drive the mobile grocery, when his dad's hospitalized. He brings Claire along, hoping she'll become more than a friend. He drives around Provence's countryside, selling mainly to old people.

Pickpocket (1959, ~7.7 from 19.6k votes): Michel is released from jail after serving a sentence for thievery. His mother dies and he resorts to pickpocketing as a means of surviva

La Collectionneuse (1967, 7.5 from ~6.6k votes): A womanizing art dealer and a painter find the serenity of their Riviera vacation disturbed by a third guest, a vivacious bohemian woman known for her long list of male conquests.

Code Unknown (2000, 7.2 from ~11.9k votes): A young man harasses a homeless woman, another man protests, the police arrest both and the woman has to leave the country. What were their various story-lines leading up to this event?

Children of Paradise (1945, 8.4 from ~18.2k votes): The theatrical life of a beautiful courtesan and the four men who love her.

The Last Metro (1980, 7.4 from ~12.5k votes): In occupied Paris, an actress married to a Jewish theater owner must keep him hidden from the Nazis while doing both of their jobs.

Danton (1983, 7.5 from ~6.4k votes): In 1793, as the Terror begins in France, Georges Danton, a champion-of-the-people, returns to clash against Maximilien Robespierre and his extremist party.

Orpheus (1950, 8.0 from ~10.5k votes): A poet in love with Death follows his unhappy wife into the underworld.

Lacombe, Lucien (1974, 7.7 from ~6.5k votes): In 1944, an 18-year old boy from small-town France, collaborates with the Nazi-regime and subsequently falls in love with a Jewish gir

L'Atalante (1934, 7.8 from ~14.4k votes): Newly married couple Juliette and a ship captain Jean struggle through marriage as they travel on the L'atalante along with the captain's first mate Le père Jules and a cabin boy.

Le Million (1931, 7.4 from ~3.1k votes): An impoverished painter and his rival engage in a race across Paris to recover a jacket concealing a winning lottery ticket.

La bête humaine (1938, 7.6 from ~6.8k votes): In this classic adaptation of Emile Zola's novel, a tortured train engineer falls in love with a troubled married woman who has helped her husband commit a murder.

Black Girl (1966, 7.4 from ~3.5k votes): A black girl from Senegal becomes a servant in France.

Out 1 (1971, 7.8 from ~1.1k votes): Following the May 1968 civil unrest in France, a deaf-mute and a con artist simultaneously stumble upon the remnants of a secret society.

Les Misérables, Part 1 (1934, 8.2 from ~1.5k votes): The lives of numerous people over the course of 20 years in 19th century France, weaved together by the story of an ex-convict named Jean Valjean on the run from an obsessive police inspector, who pursues him for only a minor offense.

Beau Travail (1999, 7.4 from ~8.5k votes): This film focuses on an ex-Foreign Legion officer as he recalls his once glorious life, leading troops in Djibouti.

#french #french language #french langblr #langblr #french resources

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livingmybestfakelife · 4 years ago

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A Gangster and a Gentleman

parings: Tommy Shelby x Reader

fandoms: Peak Blinders/1917

“You don’t think think that you’ve made enough eyes at my sister in law enough?”

Joseph woke up from his daydream once Arthur interrupted it, the eldest Shelby couldn’t help but notice that one of his employees and a valuable foot soldier would get distracted by his brothers wife. He couldn’t say that he blamed him, as much as he had respect for Tommy’s marriage, he wasn’t blind, any fool could see how much of a looker you were, a smart man would keep his infatuation at bay but an idiot would occasionally try his luck at attempting to seduce you into an affair, and even your pleads couldn’t hold Tommy back from putting them in their places, he couldn’t stop them from looking and admiring from afar, but the least they could do was to save themselves from a broken nose and not get handsy with you.

“I’m not looking at her, I’m looking at Ada”

“You wanna take a chance of not only fighting off my brother but also Freddie as well? Good luck”

“I didn’t mean it like that, I-“

“You were looking at YN...it’s fine, I can’t fault you for that and I’m certainly not gonna go tattletale to him, just remember to look but don’t touch”

“What am I an imbecile? I know better not to cross that kind of line Arthur”

“I sure hope so mate, because the last man to try something...”

He paused as he took a sip of his drink, it made Joe more anxious than he already was and it was getting on his nerves.

“What, what happened?”

“Don’t tell anyone else that I told you this, it’s only a conspiracy theory around town since no one has been able to prove it but...YN was volunteering at one of them women’s shelters last year, and a there was this vicar who was visiting from Ireland, even a man of god couldn’t resist the beauty of YN Shelby, well anyway let’s just say that he said some not so gentlemanly things to her and a nun had heard it, she even said that he touched YN even though she herself denied it, still Tommy didn’t care-fuck why am I telling you this, I really need to slow down on the bloody whiskey”

“It’s fine Arthur, look I don’t see any fault in that, any good husband is within his rights to defend his wife’s honor”

“Yeah but, fuck...when Tom was done with him, you couldn’t even recognize the poor bastard, looked as though a wild animal mauled him”

At the description of the fate of the vicar, Joe had gagged on the bile that threatened to rise from his throat, the liquor did enough damage to his stomach, but mixing it with the visual of a disfigured man didn’t help keep it down.

“Sorry bout that Joey boy, me and my big mouth got a little carried away there, don’t worry though, Tom didn’t kill him, but I know the poor bastard wishes he did”

He let out a roar of laughter at his own joke which earned some stares from other patrons, one of them being you, you shook your head and chuckled from your brother in laws drunken stupor before turning your attention back to Ada going on and on about whatever political cause she was passionate about during these times, Tommy had caught the sight of Joseph almost vomiting all over his nicest suit, he gave him a knowing look, guessing correctly that Arthur spilled his guts about personal business that went down way before he arrived in Birmingham.

Tommy knew of Joe’s many glances at you ever since he was hired and did a pretty good job of not having to have a serious talk with him, but that was because the man didn’t give him any reason to do it, and for Joe’s sake it would be kept that way.

#peaky blinders #tommy shelby #tommy shelby imagine #peaky blinders imagine #joseph blake #1917 imagine

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ratingtheframe · 4 years ago

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I Care A Lot, Malcolm & Marie, Capone, The Life Ahead and the News of the World: Everything I watched in February.

Newsflash ! The cinemas still aren’t open and I’m starting to lose hope in them ever opening. Despite the UK government drawing a step by step guide into lifting the UK out of lockdown (like its flat pack furniture and not a critical pandemic) with cinemas due to open in April, I wouldn’t hold my breath seeing as our own human biology and its resistance is the actual measure of when it is safe to go out and about, not what our government says. So until everyone is vaccinated and has sustained the first few months of vaccination symptom free, I’m having to sift through Netflix and Amazon for something to watch, like I’m looking through a charity shop sale; without much luck. Don’t get me wrong, I’m all for these streaming services, I (my dad) pay for them for Christ’s sakes and I know that one day I’ll be eating my words when I’m offered a Netflix deal that I (in a Vito Corleone voice) “cannot refuse”. However, unlike some of the creators on Netflix, I’ll make the most of this opportunity and be incredibly anal about what I want to make, even if it kills me.

I feel like so many people are given the license to make whatever they want for Netflix and then I look at the trophy wall of Emmys that HBO has garnered over the years and consider their quality writers and casts. I would say most recently, shows like The Crown, Sex Education, Top Boy and Bridgerton are Netflix’s exceptions currently, being both of quality and giving us something we actually want to watch. And guess what all these shows have in common?! Not only are all the casts largely British but all productions of these shows are British too. The British quality of TV programmes for streaming services in the US is a win win for all; Americans get to watch our good quality TV and we get Golden Globes. Most notably, The Crown did exceptionally (as it always does) at this year’s Golden Globes, further proving the show's excellence despite controversy. I thoroughly praise Netflix's resistance to label the show “fiction” and the lengths it took in making the show as authentically as possible, despite the criticism. The awards speak for themselves and the Crown has scooped up several this year so far.

To conclude, I want the cinemas to open just as much as anyone, but I’m happy to comply with the stay-at-home-and-watch-Netflix-rule for now. For now...Here’s everything I watched this February.

Annihilation (2018) as seen on Netflix

Netflix’s Annihilation starring Natalie Portman, Jennifer Jason Lee, Gina Rodriguez, Tessa Thompson and Oscar Issac was a multitude of things that were difficult to comprehend. This is not me saying this is a bad film, in fact its me saying the complete opposite as the complexity drew a tangible beauty to the film from beginning to end. I reeeaaalllyyy liked the beginning and how the first scene sucked you into the crazy and fanatical story that later unfolded. Natalie Portman as always was wonderful in this role, playing a biologist who enters another world in search of her husband, who’s gone missing on a similar expedition to hers. Like with most sci fi films, it was difficult to gather the meaning of such a film, however this lack of meaning didn’t draw away from the story or how it was portrayed, in slow and enigmatic shots that told the story with a natural pace. If you’ve seen / liked Ex Machina (2014), Annihilation has the same director and I would thoroughly recommend you watch this too as the way Alex Garland merges sci fi with horror is incredibly seamless.

Score: 10/10

Eastern Promises (2007) as seen on Amazon Prime

This film starring Naomi Watts, Viggo Mortensen and Vincent Cassel was incredibly dark and gritty. Even though I’m not Russian, I found Mortensen and Cassel’s Russian personas to be rather good for a Dane and a Frenchman. Their on screen chemistry was also really good and its make me wonder why I haven’t seen a film with these two in it before. The story follows Anna (Naomi Watts) a nurse and her hunt for the true identity and life of a baby that was born to a 14 year old girl. Nikolai and Kirill (Mortensen and Cassel) are Russian gangsters living in London and set about covering up this obscene scandal and getting rid of the product of it, a baby girl belonging to the condemned and now deceased child. It's a difficult plot to wrap your head around and like I said, it's incredibly dark. Actor and director David Cronenberg (A History of Violence 2005) directed this film and helped Viggo Mortensen with a nomination for Best Actor at the 2008 Academy Awards.

Score: 8/10

Fifty Shades of Grey (2015) as seen on Netflix

So remember how I said I was DESPERATE for films this month...I watched Fifty Shades of Grey with zero expectations and I can say definitively that it was worse than I thought. It's a true miracle that both Dakota Johnson and Jamie Dornan still have careers 6 years after such a film was released and I personally wouldn’t rush to cast either acting in my film after seeing this. Harsh, I know but reputation is everything and when you sign onto something that instead of highlighting your acting abilities, highlights your body parts, what am I supposed to think... I’m all for body confidence and what not, but I feel like most of this film sort of abuses sexuality and sexual expressions. The fact is, the BDSM part of this film wasn’t even that bad, it was the characters that pissed me off the most and their LACK of character in fact. They were orchestrated in such a flat way and the only time where either one of them found any character was through the sex itself and the discussion of it, especially Anastasia’s character. The most profound and irritating thing about this film is that Anastasia’s life seemed to only have meaning when she met the so called handsome, charming, wonderful, drop dead gorgeous Christian Grey. What does that teach us about women people? I’ve said it once, and I’ll say it again, sexualising women in film and media shouldn’t be the only reason for them to be there. And the entirety of Fifty Shades of Grey is built upon that fact. Even though the novel was written by a woman, it definitely missed the point in giving us a strong female character who could both be into sex and taken seriously at the same time. Seems like a really hard thing to do in cinema as filmmakers either go for the over-hyped sexualised prostitute, the caring mother or the nun. Like female professionals have never had sex in their lives… think again. I like to wonder what it would’ve been like had it been Ms Grey and Christian as her submissive. Not only would that mix up the character dynamic and go against gender confirmation, it’d actually be interesting. But maybe I should just write that story altogether...To conclude, the characters in this film were flat and the entirety of the film hyped up sex and the act of it way too much. It's like making a film about walking or breathing.

Score: 1/10

Malcolm & Marie (2021) as seen on Netflix

Malcolm & Marie received a lot of attention in the media and sadly not for the right reasons. In fact, what’s so childish about the backlash is that hardly any of it had to do with the filmmaking techniques Sam Levinson (Euphoria’s creator) used or the story he wrote. More of it had to do with Levinson’s controversial ideas about how the media likes to view and prod film like a goldfish in a bowl, acting ostentatiously towards the art and appearing woke as opposed to just seeing film for how it is. I gather many film critic’s egos were bruised when Levinson used the lead character, Malcolm (John David Washington) as a butcher to film critics. He says things like “I’m choosing to make a film that’s fundamentally political, but not everything I do is political because I’m Black” in reference to the ignorance of some film critics who stamp politics onto any black directed film, attempting to brand the films with their own understanding of the film as opposed to its real message and story. Malcolm spends the majority of the night loathing a fictional “white LA reporter” and betting on her exact words for his own film, about an African American woman trying to get off drugs. What he says is funny, so funny it's true. White reporters DO do this and instead of embracing Levinson’s satricalism, the real LA white reporters of our media got overly offended and used the “lack of story” card as a backdrop to fuel their distaste at being called out. Had they known Levinson’s intentions with this film, they wouldn’t have reviewed it all together as I’m sure Levinson knew what he was getting himself into when mentioning the annoying “white LA reporter” and making the stereotype central to the lead's frustrations towards the industry. Levinson also graciously mentions that even though Malcolm has such hatred towards the critics, he is their fuel and by making his so-called “art” he only joins them in the argument . Levinson made his bed when he made the film and I think he’s sleeping rather comfortably. No one even bothered to praise both Zendaya’s and Washington’s performances, which were phenomenal considering the circumstances and the added pressure of having to carry a whole story in one room using only each other to fulfil that story. The cinematography was ambitious and overall, it was a simple yet well executed story. What are y’all complaining about?

Let's put egos aside and focus on the actual film for once, rather than how its perceived the articulation of your opinions towards it.

Score: 10/10

Coming to America (1988) as seen on Amazon Prime

At this moment I truly was becoming a slave to streaming services. I wasn’t particularly leaping at the opportunity to watch this film, however I chose to watch it as I heard that Eddie Murphy was releasing a sequel this year. As someone who doesn’t like comedy, I found this rather funny in places but it's hard to laugh at the black stereotypes portrayed in such a film even when those stereotypes were perpetuated by a black person. There was also a lot of misogyny, something else that I don’t call comedy but just misogyny. I found it hard overlook these moments and kinda saw this element as the downfall to the film which detracted from any of the other comedic moments.

Score: 5/10

Do the Right Thing (1989) as seen on Amazon Prime

One of Spike Lee’s earlier films, Do The Right Thing is a film I’ve been dying to watch for quite some time. The film is like a fascinating book, with chapters on each of the plights of living in Brooklyn in the 1980s. Though it takes one character’s perspective, there are a multitude of other stories that can be found in this film, with them interlinking seamlessly and coming together at the end. This isn’t a film about race but rather one about anger and its potential to divide people, especially when things become heated and fingers are pointed. It covered a variety of perspectives which I like, almost like an episodic series where each episode is different and takes on a different character. This structure added variety to the film and allowed it to cover a multitude of topics in a small space of time. The structure of this film was only successful because its characters, who were funny, three dimensional and above all, had something to say. Director and writer Spike Lee played Mookie, the lead, a pizza delivery man and quite the f**k up on the streets of Brooklyn, using his mouth more than his actions to get by in life. I really liked the balance of moments of comedy and severity which had me laughing in places and immediately stopping afterwards. Well written and I commend Spike Lee for having written, directed and starred in the same film.

Score: 10/10

The Life Ahead (2020) as seen on Netflix

As an actress, Sophia Loren is one of my all time favourites. On seeing films such as A Special Day (1977) Two Women (1960) Marriage, Italian Style (1964), I began to appreciate the work of Sophia Loren and notice how much of an icon she still is today. Having picked up several awards over an expansive 71 YEAR career, she has been honoured many a time by the Golden Globes and Oscars as one of the finest actresses of all time. Her presence on screen is inspiring and she’s been often referred to as the Italian Marilyn Monroe for her beauty inside and out. Here at the age of 86, she plays a Holocaust survivor and foster mother who cares for a troubled boy in The Life Ahead. Loren’s character, Madame Rosa, eventually saving him from a miserable life thieving and selling drugs on the streets of Italian. Loren’s son, Edoardo Ponti directed this film for Netflix and was generous enough to give us Sophia Loren’s presence on screen once more by casting her in the film as the lead.

Score: 9/10

Gold (2016) as seen on Amazon Prime

I found Gold to be one of those talky, talky films that starts at the end and ends at the end (if that makes sense) which in my opinion isn’t the most courageous structure one could use, but is common in biopics. It either starts on the protagonist’s death bed or at the point where the police have just caught them and for Gold it was the latter. The appearance of women in this film was second to none and that’s not me saying the director should’ve added female characters for good measure or token but why make a film that only appeals to one demographic, despite the intensity of the story...film is universal after all and if a film appeals to one certain group then what’s the point of releasing it? This doesn’t detract from Matthew McConaughey’s performance though as a “prospector” looking for gold in Indonesia. Even saying this, the character was very typical of him and it didn’t truly stretch his ability as an actor, not like Dallas Buyer’s Club (2013), Killer Joe (2011) or Interstellar (2014) did. To sum up Gold into one word it’d be “meh”.

Score: 7/10

Creed (2015) as seen on Amazon Prime

This was one of the most surprising films of the month. I’m not crazy about the Rocky films nor see myself watching all of them anytime soon, but Creed appealed as a more modern take on the hit franchise. Michael B Jordan plays Adonis Creed, son of Apollo Creed, a champion boxer who died during a fight before Adonis was born. After being adopted by Apollo’s wife, Adonis Creed sets out to follow his father’s footsteps by becoming a champion heavyweight boxer himself, much to his maternal mother’s displeasure and his coach’s the one and only Rocky Balboa (Sylvester Stallone). The story is similar to that of Rocky and if anything, is a complete revival, using the son of one of Rocky’s former fighter as a backdrop to tell the story. Director Ryan Coogler (Black Panther 2018, Fruitvale Station 2013 ) brought this story to life and a courageous performance out of Michael B. Jordan. Not only was I fascinated by boxing by the end of the film, but just the whole idea of Adonis Creed, a fighter and not a quitter who thoroughly believes in pursuing your goals until they are obtained. Not only is this film for boxing fans but for those who share that same universal message and refuse to give into their own inhibitions to achieve great things. We should look to athletes more often in this respect and consider the pursuit of our own desires as boxing matches and marathon races more often as it helps put our fight into perspective and teaches us never to give in.

Score: 11/10

Arrival (2016) as seen on DVD

Before anyone comes for me for not having seen Arrival, before I was a movie buff I had briefly come across the film several times but had never taken the time to sit it out and watch it from beginning to end. I’m glad I did as Denis Villeneuve is one of my favourite directors evah and along with Christopher Nolan, I consider him as the King of Sci Fi. Every single one of his films is incroyable (as the french say) and it's a mystery why he hasn’t been handed an Oscar yet. Arrival is this slow and beautiful story of a linguistics teacher (Amy Adams) who agrees to help on a mission to communicate with extraterrestrial life forms that have landed on planet earth in the form of twelve huge spaceships. Structure isn’t something we typically consider when watching a film, but it plays such an important part in Arrival for time and the manipulation of it is the main theme of this film. Essentially, the language in which Dr. Banks translates from the intelligent life form gives its readers the ability to see into the future, which is when we come to realize that she’ll have a child, who will die of an unnamed disease. Despite this fact, she decides to live the life fate intended for her. The reason why Arrival is a highly credible film is because of the coverage it has as a film in terms of what it's trying to say as a film. From someone who finds it hard to bring out the emotion of a screenplay, Arrival is a great example to me as a film that combines both a cinematic feeling and a strong emotional presence throughout the film. It doesn’t abandon emotions or relationships just because the film is about aliens, but instead embraces them into the story and intertwines them with the aliens who’ve come to planet earth. At the end of the day, we can have explosions, spaceships and aliens galore, but if we’re unable to connect with characters on an emotional level then the film becomes boring. Arrival is far from boring and may bring a tear or two to your eye by the end.

Score: 11/10

The News of the World (2020) as seen on Netflix

I feel like it's impossible to hate a film with Tom Hanks in it and The News of the World definitely fits into that. Five years after the US Civil War, Cpt. Jefferson Kyle Kidd (Tom Hanks) spends his days travelling around the US ‘reading the news’ to anyone who’s willing to listen. The majority of the US was illiterate in the 19th Century, meaning it was up to people like Jefferson to inform others of the ongoings in the world by reading them the paper. It’s a wondrous thing to think about, how information was once spread throughout the world in such an archaic format. Jefferson did this off his own back, not asking for much and finding fulfilment in the reactions to the news that he “broadcasted” to them. Whilst on his travels, Jefferson comes across a young girl (Golden Globe nominee Helena Zengal) who’s negro family had been killed by lynchers. The girl was originally from a Native American tribe but had been separated by them, leaving her to fend for herself. When Jefferson comes across her, he’s reluctant to take her in at first but decides to take her to some relatives across the country. It’s definitely the role you expect of Tom Hanks and his heart warming nature is captured for us in this film for Netflix.

Score: 9/10

The Mask (1994) as seen on Netflix

It's hard for me to label The Mask as a good film as that would mean shaking off the horrendous amount of misogyny it has and the lack of diversity within its characters. Films mean different things for people, but ultimately most of them reflect an element of humanity and explore it on screen with originality and authenticity. Cameron Diaz’s character was only there to fulfil the sexual appetites of the men around her, which is something I loathe in female characters. Originality The Mask has, authenticity, not so much. That's probably the reason why I hate comedies so much, most of them are written by men and are about men so it can get quite boring to watch at times. I liked the idea of The Mask but it definitely could’ve been executed in a less misogynistic way.

Score: 5/10

Jackie (2016) as seen on Amazon Prime

One word; perfection. This film was hands down one of the most beautiful, genuine and honest films I’ve seen in my entire life. It had me reminiscing Todd Haynes’ Carol (2015) in a number of ways, from the similar filmmaking techniques to the slow and melancholy atmosphere that was being created on screen. The AMAZING Natalie Portman plays Jackie Kennedy, wife of John F. Kennedy who was brutally assassinated on a visit to Dallas, Texas in 1963. The fact that I didn’t even KNOW that his poor wife was in the car with him at the point of the assassination is shocking. On watching the film, I learnt Jackie was a remarkable, brave and intelligent woman who after her husband's death put so much into preserving her husband’s legacy despite his lack of popularity. The way the film is shot and the music by the brilliant Mica Levi (Under the Skin 2013 , Monos 2019) just ties everything together into a enigmatic and wonderful film. Natalie Portman was nominated for Best Actress at the 2017 Academy Awards and rightly so. This film has further proven my thoughts on her as one of the greatest actresses of our time. I seriously cannot EXPRESS how much I love this film, directed by Chilean director Pablo Larraín, who’s also made another film that I can’t get enough of Ema, which was released 2 years ago.

Score: 12/10

Foxcatcher (2014) as seen on BBC iPlayer

When we first think of Steve Carell, our minds probably drift to his most notable performance as Michael Scott from The Office or even Gru in Despicable Me. It's rare for a so called “comedy” actor to find his way into films with a more dramatic substance and over the last few years, this is what Carell has been showing us on screen, with this role in Foxcatcher and more recently, in Felix van Groeningen’s Beautiful Boy (2018). Foxcatcher is the true story of a wrestler offered the opportunity to train with a private wrestling team owned by a huge chemical corporation. Channing Tatum plays Mark Schultz, a quiet and reserved wrestler who trains alongside his brother David (Mark Ruffalo), also a champion wrestler. What's sad to see in this twisted story is how validated Mark feels once the powerful and wealthy John Du Pont (Steve Carrell) begins to take an interest in him and takes him under his wing. This relationship drives a wedge between Mark and his brother David, but much to John’s displeasure, it doesn’t last long. This is definitely a story of power and how people can react in bad ways when they are owed too much of it. Every performance in this was astounding and the slow and subtle telling of the story was truly beautiful to watch. Foxcatcher is a film I’ve been dying to watch for some time and it DID NOT disappoint. Period. The film was also nominated for five Oscars back in 2015, including Best Actor and Best Supporting Actor.

Score: 11/10

In Fabric (2018) as seen on BBC iPlayer

Based on the current reviews of In Fabric, I deem the film a poncy experimental spectacle. Not only did it not say much, but what it was trying to say was rather disturbing and quite frankly bizarre. However, it's not a film I can necessarily hate on as it is experimental, meaning from the get go, I shouldn’t be expecting any sort of clear cut narrative, with relationships, protagonists, conflict or hierarchies. Experimental films are more about exploring a central idea and having all its “characters'' not essentially prove the idea, but just talk about it, like a debate but everyone agrees in the end. A debate where everyone agrees would be boring, which is why I find experimental films to be boring as most of the time they don’t have a meaning and sadly as humans, we’re obsessed with finding the meaning of things or else we’ll go crazy. And I would say this film definitely left me crazy at the end, proving the idea of man’s constant need to find meanings in things. In Fabric wasn’t really relatable, funny, clever or bold. It kinda just...was.

Score: 5/10

Delicatessen (1991) as seen on DVD

I love how the world likes to think that the American film market is the only film market when in actuality the French created the actual concept of cinema and the idea to project “movies” onto a large screen. With this has come a plethora of incredible movies from France that have gone onto to change the film industry forever. There’s a reason why the most prestigious and exclusive film festival in the entire world is held in the South of France and not LA. Jean-Pierre Jeunet is the auteur behind Amélie (2001) one of the most well known independent films ever to be made and before Amélie came Delicatessen. This film is Tim Burton meets Wes Anderson but in French and tells the story of a man working for a butcher and the crazy characters he meets in the same apartment as him. By the end it's clear that The Butcher is selling more than pork and beef down in his store and that the new tenant is due to be the next item on sale. I loved how weird and larger than life the characters were and the otherworldly set design used for this film. There were so many moments that are quite hard to explain the beauty of them and if you’ve seen Wes Anderson or Tim Burton’s work, you’ll notice the similarities between this film and their work, perhaps showing a french influence on the current American market.

Score: 10/10

Amélie (2001) as seen on DVD

Continuing on with the French theme, I was reminded this month of the beauty of Amélie. Every, single, shot in this film is pure perfection and I bet all my money that Wes Anderson was a mega fan of this film when it came out. It's truly a film like none other and it’s only this time around did I realise how much I RELATE to Amélie. The way she sacrifices herself for others and gets nothing in return, the lengths she goes to tell someone something instead of JUST SAYING IT, her lack of friends, I can definitively say that there isn’t a character on screen that I’ve related to more than Amélie (besides Elio from cmbyn). If you haven’t seen Amélie have a word with yourself.

Score: 11/10

Pan’s Labyrinth (2006) as seen on Amazon Prime

Pan’s Labyrinth was a surprisingly amazing film and I wonder why I hadn’t seen it sooner. I was astounded to see it was in Spanish which I thought made the story somehow better. It's rare that we see such high budget and well known film that’s in a foreign language but I’m glad this film got the noise it did when it was released. Guillermo del Toro (The Shape of Water 2017) tells us the story of 10 year old Ofelia and her discovery of magical creatures in the woods that inhabit the outskirts of her new home. Not only that but it’s 1944. The Spanish Civil War has been over for five years but small groups of guerrilla rebels continue to fight against the new fascist dictatorship led by Francisco Franco. This is a well structured film that shows two strong worlds and combines them in a satisfying way, which isn’t an easy thing as sometimes films can get lost in the facts of history instead of the emotions and dynamic relationships. The set design in this was UNREAL as always and I really felt for the characters and their given circumstances. And that’s what we call a film.

Score: 11/10

I Care A Lot (2021) as seen on Amazon Prime

For a full review of I Care A Lot, follow the link: https://ratingtheframe.tumblr.com/post/643763403606867968/a-strong-performance-from-rosamund-pike-that-we

Score: 8/10

Interview with a Vampire (1994) as seen on BBC iPlayer

We were doing SO WELL until I made the costly decision to watch this waffle of a film, directed by Neil Jordan. Not only was the story all over the place, but the dialogue itself was incredibly on the nose and self explanatory throughout. It feels like there was more talking about the film instead of showing the film, which just made me switch off from early on in the film. I hated the casting of Tom Cruise in this and there were moments when I believed his character, but none of them outweighed the overarched and over bearing performance he was attempting to give. Brad Pitt was marginally better but the performance of Kirsten Dunst who was 12 years old at the time this film was released, outdid both actors. She was the only character that I truly felt for / cared about and her on screen presence was both enviable and wise beyond her years. Personally, I can’t explain what this film was even about because I truly didn’t get what was going on, however if you’re a fan of Kirsten Dunst’s work, this would be a suitable film to watch in that respect.

Score: 4/10

Fargo (1996) as seen on Amazon Prime

Fargo is probably most known as a Netflix series, but before that, it was originally a film directed by the Coen Brothers and starred the likes of Frances McDormand, Steve Buscemi, William H Macy and John Carroll Lynch. I’ve been meaning to watch Fargo for quite some time and I was not disappointed with the outcome of it. It's one of those good old fashioned crime films, with lots of twists and blood split throughout the film. The film won two Oscars in 1997; one for Best Actress which was handed to Frances McDormand playing a police officer investigating a string of murders in Minnesota and another for Best Original Screenplay. A really well constructed story with a fantastic cast and great cinematography work from Roger Deakins (1917 (2020), Blade Runner 2049 (2017) The Shawshank Redemption (1994).

Score: 10/10

The Darjeeling Limited (2007) as seen on Amazon Prime

The Darjeeling Limited further proves to us Wes Anderson’s ability to create entire new worlds and show us stories that take place all across the world. Three brothers, Peter (Adrien Brody), Jack (Jason Schwartzman) and Francis (Owen Wilson) have travelled to India in an attempt to bond with one another “spiritually” after the death of their father. Peter and Jack aren’t too keen on this little expedition, irritated at their brothers' intrusiveness over the trip. The majority of the film is set on this fanatical train travelling across India and yet again, we are blessed with some phenomenal production design to tell us a fun and uplifting story. What’s more is that the boys’ mother (Anjelica Huston) lives in India as a nun at the foot of the Himalayas. This becomes the real reason for their venture and such a thing changes the character dynamics between the three men. India is shown in all its beauty in this film using the backdrop of three men’s relationship with one another as a story.

Score: 9/10

The Life Aquatic of Steve Zissou (2004) as seen on DVD

Another one of Wes Anderson’s lesser known films but equally as good as the rest, this film follows a group of marine explorers travelling across the pacific to try and kill a shark that supposedly ate a member of Steve Zissou (Bill Murray) ’s crew. With an all star cast composed of Bill Murray, Owen Wilson, Cate Blanchett, Jeff Goldblum and Anjelica Huston this film was entertaining, enlightening and cinematographically ambitious. Steve Zissou is a fictional character who makes a living off of extreme and dangerous marine explorations. He makes films of his travels using his crew and after screening his latest film, he meets a young man (Owen Wilson) claiming to be his son. Evidently, Zissou is reluctant to accept that this man is his son and uses his presence as financial gain to the project. I appreciated all performances in this film and the set design (as always with Anderson’s films) was exceptional.

Score: 9/10

Life of Pi (2012) as seen on Amazon Prime

A highly visual and emotional film that carries beauty throughout in both performance and story, Life of Pi was directed by Brokeback Mountain (2005)’s Ang Lee and tells the story of Pi (Suraj Sharma and Irrfan Khan) a young boy alone in the middle of the Pacific Ocean with a fully grown Bengal Tiger. Winner of 4 Academy Awards including Best Director at the 2013 Academy Awards, this film does a phenomenal job of reminding us why cinema is such a superior and infinite art form. Pi’s family are on their way from India to America, exporting a large number of their zoo animals in hope of selling them once they reach the other side of the world. After a horrendous storm ravages their cargo ship, Pi is left all alone in the ocean with what only appears to be a small dingy, but to his horror, he comes to find that the zoo’s tiger Richard Parker is keeping him company in the middle of the ocean. Now if that ain’t a viable story, then I don’t know what is. To make a film look like it was set in the middle of a Pacific and with a Bengal Tiger is no small feat. Suraj Sharma’s performance was both truthful and powerful, despite the film being mostly shot in a studio with nothing but animation for Richard Parker. This is one of very few films that does the original novel justice.

Score: 11/10

Capone (2021) as seen on Netflix

Yikes. Capone has not been getting a lot of love in the media since its release on Netflix on 24th February. Personally, it's not the most god awful, offensive film I’ve seen and yet I wouldn’t have been the one to have made such a film either. The film is supposed to depict the last year of the infamous and notorious Al Capone, who suffered from numerous illnesses at only the age of 48. Tom Hardy plays the blood thirsty gangster and I have to say, this was a thoughtless casting choice. Hardy doesn’t have an ounce of Italian in his face and he put on this larger than life caricature of an accent that had me feeling rather sorry for him at moments when I shouldn’t have been. The acting was exceptional, but believable and interesting? That’s another argument altogether. Cinematography and sound wise, I thought the film was excellent in those respects but again, those should be additions to the integral story of a film. I get why Hardy signed up though, what actor wouldn’t want to play a mob boss? Maybe the point of Al’s life in which this film was built upon was perhaps wrong for the screen and I’m sure most would have preferred Hardy to play Capone at his peak. This film is a clear example of people getting ahead of themselves when they first explore an idea for a film. This film could have easily been saved in the development stage had someone said let’s not do this.

Score: 5/10

Creed II (2018) as seen on Amazon Prime

Obviously a prequel will always outdo a sequel, however I found Creed II to be just as meaningful as the first film. Maybe even more so as Adonis Creed (Michael B Jordan) is becoming a father his responsibilities have shifted dramatically. He’s also desperate to fight Viktor Drago, a Ukrainian ruthless boxer whose father accidentally killed Creed’s father in a match decades before. Drago is tough, beyond what he and his coach Rocky (Sylvester Stallone) could ever imagine and because of this, it drives a wedge between Adonis’ relationship with his coach. Creed thinks Rocky doesn’t believe he can beat Drago but Rocky insists not fighting the bull of a boxer would benefit him greatly, after all, look what happened to his father. The character dynamics have shifted in this sequel, but the structure has remained largely the same. We kind of knew what we were being served at the end and the change in character was there for everyone.

Score: 10/10

...and that’s it! Everything I watched this February, you do not want to KNOW how long this list took to compile. Thanks for reading and see you next month!

ig: @ratingtheframe

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mistersshelby · 5 years ago

Text

mosley knew nothing | pt. one

i’ve thought a lot about the way season five ended and i’ve thought a lot about the kind of man oswald mosley is portrayed to be in the series and i started to wonder about how tommy had no idea who had betrayed him and so i wrote about it!

some scenes/partial dialogue/plot points have been borrowed from season five. this is the first part, i only imagine i would need one more part to wrap it up. i hope you like it!!! let me know what you think!!

warnings: physical abuse

masterlist

questions, comments, concerns

“Darling,” You perked up at the sound of Oswald’s voice calling through the house to you, “I need to speak with you.” He says when he hangs his coat up and spots you sitting in the armchair by the fire.

You place your book down and rise to greet him, pressing your palms flat against his chest as you look up at him, “What is it?”

He graces you with a small smile and then leans down to give you a chaste peck on the lips before pushing you aside. You try not to show your disappointment.

“I have… a political… mission for you.”

You frown, “Darling, you know I’m no good at politics.”

He smacks a book down on the coffee table and you flinch, “What did I tell you about speaking like a commoner? If you want to be my wife you must speak properly! Now, say it again, right this time.”

You clasped your hands behind your back in the hopes he wouldn’t notice the way they were shaking, “Darling,” You start and swallow, “How could I ever be of service to you in politics when my talents lie elsewhere?”

He stares at you for a moment before lowering his gaze, “Much better.” He clears his throat, “It is true you know nothing of politics, but that won’t matter, my dear. You have a pretty face, that is all I need.” You wanted to interject here to ask what he meant, but were too afraid to anger him again so you held your tongue and waited for him to elaborate. “You remember when I have spoken of Thomas Shelby, yes?”

The name rang a bell, you knew he was someone in politics that Oswald could never tell if he could trust or not, but that was the most you could recall. You nodded, “Yes.”

“I believe he is trying to plan my murder.”

You frowned, your mouth opened a bit and shock, “What? Why would he--?”

“He’s a gangster, darling. He would have no trouble killing me with his bare hands. However, he’s also a politician now so he wouldn’t risk executing it himself. He will have some sort of elaborate plan in place to look like he wasn’t involved at all.”

“And… Why would you need me?”

He smiled and rose from where he was sitting, cupping your face in his hands. He was so gentle, so loving sometimes, you wished nothing more than to melt into him. It was moments like these you knew you would do anything he asked of you. “Shelby Company Limited has an opening for a personal assistant. Mr. Shelby will hire you, having no idea who you are, and then you will seduce him and find out his plans.”

You very nearly shoved him away, but instead your body just tensed. Oswald brushed a thumb against your cheek, “Now, now, darling, I know you are loyal to me and this is an absolutely repulsive request. I would not ask it of you if it were not imperative to my survival. You are my only hope.”

You looked up into this man’s eyes and saw your whole future. How could you ever refuse him when the alternative was losing him forever? “I will do it for you, Oswald. Anything for you.”

His smile spread across his face and he pulled you closer to his chest, “I hoped you would say that.”

***

“What did you say your name was again?” Thomas sat down behind his desk across from you, a lit cigarette between his fingers. He looked agonizingly bored.

“Y/F/N Y/L/N, sir. If you look at my resume you’ll see I can help you with many things. I’ve had experience with child care and secretarial work. I’m very good at recording minutes at meetings and other transcripts, I--”

“That’s fine, you’re hired.”

You blinked in surprise, “Oh, I, really?”

“Yeah, you can start by going to keep my children entertained.”

You sat there, sort of stunned for a few more moments before getting the hint that you were dismissed and leaving. You did play with the children and they were lovely, but you still couldn’t understand the way Mister Shelby had hired you so easily.

The children were playing a game with you when they suddenly got quiet and a shadow loomed from behind you. “Y/N, come with me.”

You stood and followed him out, whispering discreet goodbyes to the children who couldn’t hide their smiles from you.

“My children seem to have taken a liking to you.” He started as you left the room.

You nodded, “Yes, and I to them. They’re darling.”

“Do you know who I am, Y/N?”

You frown, “Everyone in Birmingham knows who you are, Mr. Shelby.”

“So why would a bright young woman like you want to work for me?”

Bright? You had never really thought of yourself as smart. Oswald certainly didn’t think you were smart. “I’m unmarried and childless, I need a job.” You shrug, “That’s all.”

“Are you worried the job will be dangerous?”

You frowned, “The job description in the ad didn’t seem to be very dangerous.”

“Sometimes… Sometimes being my assistant could be dangerous. Are you okay with that?”

Oswald hadn’t given you much of a choice, but you couldn’t deny the fear that chilled your heart as his words, “That’s alright, Mr. Shelby, I understand.”

“You can call me Tommy.” He said and for the first time you looked directly into his eyes. They were ice blue, but strangely felt warm. You expected to see the coldness you saw in Oswald’s eyes, only worse, but there was kindness in Tommy’s eyes. Kindness and a lot of pain.

You nod, “Okay… Tommy.”

There’s the barest trace of amusement on his face, “Go home then, I’ll see you back here in the morning.”

***

The next few weeks you had more fun than you had in years working with Tommy. He was never cruel to you, always praising you and making you feel like you were important.

“Y/N,” Tommy started one day when you came into his office, “There have been rumors that the nuns who run the orphanage my wife’s foundation donates to have been abusing the children. Just last week a black child hung herself, the other children have said it was for fear of the nuns.”

You shook your head, “That’s terrible.”

“Yes,” Tommy agreed, “Which is why I need you to go and record official testimony from the children so I have proof.”

You raised your eyebrows, “Me? By myself? Tommy, I--”

“You’re smart and capable and wonderful with children. They’ll talk to you. If I went with you it would only make them afraid.” You looked down at your lap doubtfully, “Hey,” Tommy said and your eyes snapped back to his, “I trust you. You can do this.”

It was moments like these that you had to remind yourself that this man wanted Oswald dead. “Okay.” You agreed, “Why are you doing this, though? For your image?”

He frowned at you, “No, I’m doing this because children are suffering and I don’t want to turn a blind eye. I know what it feels like to be a helpless child.”

You couldn’t wrap your head around the fact that this was the man Oswald insisted killed for sport, wanted him murdered. And yet, he’d protect children who weren’t his kin? “Okay.” You agreed, “I’ll go tomorrow.”

***

“What is the bastard making you do there all day?” Oswald asked one evening as you were putting dinner on the table, “Bury the bodies of men he kills?”

You were growing annoyed at Oswald’s criticisms of Tommy. You knew you ought to hate Shelby, but really, did he think Tommy was really killing people all the time? “No, Oswald, I’ve told you already. Tommy has only made me do incredibly normal things, like take notes at meetings and play with his children. Sometimes go pick up a package from a shop. Nothing illegal.”

“Tommy?” He mocked you, “Sounds like the two of you are getting awful close.”

“Isn’t that what you wanted, dear fiancé?” You can’t help the lilt of your words, the sarcasm drenching the whole sentence.

He’s across the table in an instant, hand clenched around your throat. You gasp for air, he’s close enough that you can smell the vodka on his breath. He’s drunk. You claw at his hands, but they only tighten, white spots dot the edge of your vision, “I am growing tired of your disrespectful tone, darling. Speak that way to me again and I will do much worse.”

When he lets go you fall to the floor, hands clutching your neck and tears pricking at your eyes. Oswald laughs at you and goes to pour himself another drink. Your hands shake as you serve him dinner and you don’t speak again that evening except for occasional “Yes, darling.” and “No, darling.”

***

“Y/N?” Tommy frowns as you walk into his office, “I thought you were going straight to the orphanage this morning.”

You pulled your collar up high around your neck, conscious of the hand shaped bruises you wore like a necklace, “Realized I forgot a notebook to record the testimony.” You said quietly, “I’ll be out of your hair in a moment.”

You’re conscious of his eyes on you as you walk around the room and think he must notice something is off with you, but he says nothing. You say nothing. And then you leave.

The orphanage takes up the majority of your day as you must first gain the trust of the children before they’re willing to tell you anything. You went in under the guise of a doctor, wanting to make sure they were all okay and the nuns didn’t seem to question it.

By the time you leave it’s late afternoon and you feel emotionally drained from the devastating accounts of the children who, according to them, were beat and psychologically tortured by the nuns daily.

“I’ll warn you,” You say as you collapse in the chair across from Tommy’s desk and slide your notes toward him, “It’s disgusting.”

He silently opens the notebook and reads a few pages before placing it down again, “Thank you. I’ll take care of it.”

You nod and stand to leave, “Who gave you those bruises on your neck?” He interjects suddenly and you nearly fall over.

“It’s nothing,” You say quickly and pull your collar around your neck again, “I should be going.”

“You work for me.” He says as you hurriedly walk to the door, nearly tripping over your own feet, “If someone is hurting you I can take care of it.”

You freeze with your hand on the doorknob and look down at your feet. The whole reason you were here was to find out how he planned to kill Oswald. And here he was. Unknowingly volunteering to kill Oswald. It was almost humorous. “Goodnight, Tommy.” You said finally and walked out the door.

***

“I’m sorry if I overstepped yesterday.” You snap your head up at the sound of Tommy’s voice who’s standing at the end of your desk.

“It’s alright,” You said, “I’d rather not talk about it.”

“I just wanted you to know that I could help you. If you wanted.”

He just wants an excuse to kill someone. You thought to yourself, he doesn’t care about you. “I’ll keep that in mind.”

He stands there for another moment and then takes out a cigarette, “I’d like you to stay for dinner tonight. To thank you for your work at the orphanage. Also, it’s Ruby’s birthday and she’s requested that you be there.”

You smile, Ruby was a delight. You supposed this would also be a good opportunity to try and get more information out of Tommy. “I’d like that.”

***

Tommy’s wife is also at dinner and you wonder if this will hinder your chances of getting close with Tommy. She seems suspicious of you, faking smiles and pleasantries when Ruby jumps in your arms. She quickly scolds Ruby and tells her not to ruin her new dress.

Dinner is uneventful and mostly silent except when you sneak funny faces at Ruby and Charles, smiling to yourself when they dissolve in giggles. After dinner, Tommy asks you to take a walk with him outside and Lizzie can barely hide her disgust as she storms away, leaving the children to the maid.

“When Charles’s mother died this place stopped being a home.” He said as you walked quietly in the light of dusk. “Lizzie… Lizzie was happy when she got pregnant with Ruby, but not because she wanted to be a mother, but because she knew it would give her what she always wanted: me. But she’s not a good mother.”

You frowned, unsure why he was telling you this, “The children love Lizzie, they talk about her all the time.”

“Only because she is the only mother they’ve ever known. But then you come along and… I’ve never seen them as happy as when they’re with you.”

You offer him a half smile, “They’ve made me happier than I’ve been in a long time.” You say, and it’s true.

He nods and is silent for a moment, seemingly hesitating to say whatever he wants to say next, “Tell me who is hurting you so I can stop it. If only to spare my children the heartache if you turn up dead.”

You stop and turn to him, mouth falling open, “Tommy, I’m fine. I promise you I’m not in any danger.”

“A man who would put his hands on a woman will only feel gratification if she dies at his hand.” You’ve reached the stables now and Tommy has turned to face you. Your back brushes against the wall of the stable and Tommy is standing very close to you.

You shake your head, “He wouldn’t.” But your voice falters and you both know you’re lying.

Tommy moves to brush the back of his hand against your cheek, but you flinch at the movement and he drops it back down. You regret it instantly, realizing that you want him to touch you. Thoughts of Oswald and why you’re really here leave your mind and you take a step closer to him. He doesn’t back away. You rise on your tiptoes, you can feel your heart beating in your throat as your lips slowly inch closer to his--

“Mister Shelby?”

You reel back, slamming yourself into the stable wall behind you. Tommy, unfazed, turns around to see one of his staff standing behind him, “What is it?”

“Mister Churchill is at the house, sir, he demands an audience with you.”

Tommy raises his eyebrows, “Oh, does he?” He looks back at you and then sighs, “Set him up in my office, I’ll head back in a moment.”

“Winston Churchill? What would he want with you?”

The corner of Tommy’s mouth quirks up, “You know, for once, I have no idea.” He stares at your mouth for a moment too long before turning away and walking back to the house. You quickly walk after him, head still reeling from your almost-kiss.

You were engaged to Oswald, you loved Oswald, Tommy wanted Oswald dead. But still, you couldn’t deny the way your heart pulled to Tommy. It made you feel sick.

“Would you like to stay the night?” He asked when you had gotten close to the house.

You blinked at him, appalled, “What?”

“No, I don’t mean… It’s late, you can stay in a guest room. I’ll have someone make it up for you. Unless…” He eyed your neck and you fought not to cover it up, “Unless it would be worse for you to not go home.”

You should go home, but… What if what he talks to Churchill about is important? Oswald will understand. You needed to save him. You were most likely running out of time. “A bed to sleep in would be nice.”

He nods and opens the door for the house, ordering a maid to bring you to a guest room. “Thank you for coming.” He says turning back to you, “I’m sure Ruby really appreciated it.”

You smiled, “I would do anything for her, that girl has me wrapped around her finger.” And you meant it.

He manages a small smile and then turns away from you to head to his office. You let the maid bring you upstairs and wait for her to leave before you quietly move down the stairs again, deciding that if anyone caught you, you’d say you were looking for the bathroom. But there was no one to be seen in the corridors of Tommy’s large home. You heard murmurs coming from outside his office door and checked once more that no one was around before pressing your ear to the wood.

“...because there are rumors of you allying yourself with that fascist Mosley, but you’re not his ally at all, are you? You’re spying on him.”

Oswald. They were talking about Oswald. “Yes.” Tommy says.

“Why?”

“The honest answer is… I’m no longer sure.”

You listen for a few minutes longer, finding out that both Churchill and Tommy believe your fiancé is dangerous, someone who would fan the flames of another war. Eventually, you slowly walk back up the stairs to your bedroom. You lie in the bed, staring at the ceiling for what feels like hours. You hear Tommy come up the stairs and stop outside your bedroom door, only to walk away moments later.

You lie awake and think about the man you are sworn to marry. You start to wonder if you really know him at all.

#mine #tommy shelby #thomas shelby #peaky blinders #peaky blinders fic #tommy shelby fic #tommy shelby fluff #tommy shelby angst #tommy shelby imagine #tommy x reader #peaky blinders imagine #tommy shelby fanfic

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dangermousie · 5 years ago

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Prior to 2010 kdrama rec post

@walkwithheroes84 asked: “What are some dramas (Japanese, Taiwanese, Chinese, and/or Korean) that are older (pre-2010) that you wish more people would watch.”

Ooooh boy, we are gonna be here all day so I am just going to do Korea and save the rest for later. I had to really cull!

A Love to Kill (2005) - I own Japanese DVDs of this, I was so obsessed. A dark, intense melo in which Rain gets a job as a bodyguard to a rising young star played by Shin Minah. His plan is to seduce and wreck her to avenge his dead brother (who he believes killed himself after she heartlessly left him for fame), but he recons without his own impossible feelings for her or the extent of SMA’s internal damage. They remain one of the most impossible, messed-up, intense, doomed OTPs I’ve ever shipped. Stock tissues.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WJox8iEcFMs

All In (2003) - he is a gangster, she is a nun. Have I gotten your attention yet? This was a huge hit and Lee Byung Hun and Song Hye Kyo are out of this world together.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AuVDFLOytQI

Beautiful Days (2001-2002) - a super classic, grown up melo about a plucky poor girl and a tortured workaholic and Choi Ji Woo and Lee Byung Hun set the screen on fire.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=c3skKcivjJs

Capital Scandal (2007) - somehow both frothy and deeply emotional, this centers on freedom fighters and playboys and spies in 1930s Seoul. If you don’t love it, you have no heart.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HN-0tERlaNM

Chuno/Slave Hunters (2009) - possibly my favorite sageuk (it’s a threeway tie atm), this story about an aristocrat turned slave hunter, a general turned slave, and a slave woman turned an aristocrat, all involved with rebellion, court secrets and sheer desperation of their lives is amazing. Beyond amazing. Jang Hyuk, Oh Ji Ho and Lee Da Hae are all on fire and if you ever watch only one sageuk, make it this one.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5vAGdXpN6no

City Hall (2009) - Kim Sun Ah as a small town civil servant and Cha Seung Won as an amoral fixer for a powerful politician sparkle beyond words in the most grown up, smart kdrama romcom I have ever seen.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KLek2pnv8yY

Coffee Prince (2007) - Yoon Eun Hye is a woman dressing as a man, Gong Yoo as a man horrified to discover he likes her while thinking she is a boy. This was a mad hit for a reason.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OKSupXmez5w

Damo (2003) - my first sageuk, this is as good as ever. Ha Ji Won is a police tea servant, a noble lady whose family was executed and she came down in the world; Lee Seo Jin as her noble superior who loves her silently. She infiltrates a conspiracy led by the charismatic, tortured Kim Mim Joon, and epic tragedy follows.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RGkglLvjJ9k

Delightful Girl Chunhyang (2005) - back when Hong Sisters were consistently good, this is a modern take on the famous folk tale. Our heroine is a studious poor girl and our hero a ne’er-do-well son of a local prosecutor. There is arranged marriage, true love surviving some insane sacrifice, one of my all time favorite OTPs, and a heroine and hero that grow into people I was obsessed with. Confession time - I wrote fanfic for this drama!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5kTGHJZIUvA

East of Eden (2008-2009) - a sprawling multigenerational epic they don’t make much of any more, this has its flaws but the plots and brotherhood and romances and the characters and the revenge are so worth it.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=x6LBIo16-e8

Emperor of the Sea/Sea God (2004-2005) - a larger than life sageuk epic they don’t make any more.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=j53vbAxW3d4

Family’s Honor (2008) - Kdrama does North and South. Our heroine is a widow from an aristocratic family, our hero is a noveau riche ruthless businessman who gets attracted to her. This is so so good!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YrAMgTKg_As

Fashion 70s (2005) - period drama about a bunch of intense cool peeps, fashion and love. Just watch it.

https://youtu.be/qly7vkFUv3g

Friend Our Legend (2009) - the most criminally underrated drama on this list, about a group of childhood friends turned gangsters and the tragic fall out.I want a rewatch rn tbh.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OJQx3tA5cGs

Goong (2005) - a giddily fun take on an alternate universe where an icy modern crown prince and a bubbly commoner have to get married.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GAjz-5b4P6A

Green Rose (2005) - this tale of a man (Go Soo) trying to get revenge and get back to his love (Lee Da Hae) is a modern take on Monte Cristo and has one of my fave opening scenes ever.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=epJt6jCIOlU

Hello My Teacher (2005) - Gong Yoo is a student in love with Gong Hyo Jin’s teacher.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oNFoENWvEEk

Hong Gil Dong (2008) - starts out wacky, ends up by making me cry. A wonderful take on Korean Robin Hood and the OTP omg the OTP!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ingEOTBSnt0

IRIS (2009) - in the running for my favorite kdrama of all time, with definitely the most tortured hero, this starts out as a fun routine actioner until our hero’s life details in a horrifying fashion and even his attempts to right the world are doomed in this horrifyingly bleak, intense, romantic drama.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5kesXxZOBzQ

Jumong (2006-2007) - the DADDY of all traditional sageuks, with insane ep count (81) and equally insane and deserved ratings. See our hero go from zero to hero and an awesome king.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ILBnGNxtwXw

The Kingdom of the Winds (2008-2009) - Song Il Gook’s last sageuk (so far, though I don’t think he’s gonna bother to come back), a story about a cursed prince and his quest for love and throne, this is wonderful.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=R1qfC0yFIf0

Last Scandal (2008) - they dated in high school. Now she is an exhausted ahjumma with a deadbeat husband and he is a huge star. A second chance romance that starts out hilarious but turns profound follows. One of my all time faves.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zquHf8-p3ZU

The Legend (2007) - I’ve raved about it elsewhere; it is arguably my favorite sageuk of all time (or maybe even just plain fave kdrama), smart and passionate and hugely epic.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=853sc-s2hHE

Lobbyist (2007) - one of the very few actioners I’ve ever liked, and with more whump than you can shake a stick at, Song Il Gook is a tough as nails international arms dealer with an even tougher OTP (JJY) and this is a heaven of plot and love and hurt/comfort.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=J8puRJNmey4

Loveholic (2005) - a student/teacher romance AND a story about a man going to jail to protect the woman he loves all rolled into one. What more could you want?

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=b6nVH75IRCM

Lovers (2006) - if it’s a smart adult love story you want, come right in!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bgpe4VkbtNk

Mawang/The Devil/Lucifer (2007) - meet possibly my n1 kdrama of all time. Haunted past, tragedy, revenge, complicated characters and plot. If there is a perfect kdrama, this is it.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lkn1KYaCjVk

My Girl (2005) - Lee Dong Wook and Lee Da Hae set the screen on fire in a romcom with hidden identities and plot twists. PS it is funny but when the drama starts, I literally bawled.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=k0jpSCN72Wg

One Fine Day (2006) - Sung Yuri and Gong Yoo in a lovely, angsty romance.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qVeUG5U3oCU

Piano (2001-2002) - this is like who is who before they got to be big stars - Go Soo and Kim Hae Neul are in love but can’t be together because they are stepsiblings, Jo In Sung is a young gangster, tragedy and melo all around.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hRG_4Uxl4Zo

Que Sera Sera (2007) - Eric and Jung Yumi play the ultimate dysfunctional couple. He uses his good looks to date rich generous women, she is a neighbor who is neither. Their levels of obsession with each other are insane.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=d4XqW14_A7k

Queen Seon Duk (2009) - want a female centric sageuk that is intense and epic and amazing? Look no further!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZwIY4poVBNw

Resurrection (2005) - a tight, complex revenge thriller that more people should see.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=k_ZbmVAk8zQ

The Return of Iljimae/Moon River (2009) - Jung Il Woo’s debut, this is arguably my favorite take on Korean Robin Hood ever and except for Someday and Friend Our Legend, the most underrated drama on this list.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0YjgmHVO3n0

Robber (2008) - Jang Hyuk and Lee Da Hae break my heart and then heal it in this intense story of a man preying on desperate women and a broken widow. Yes, it’s another two messed up people heal each other story. I love those!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SDyy3UtUWeM

Romance (2002) - a teacher/student romance, with gorgeous young Kim Jae Won and Kim Ha Neul.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9LBs1tnc5Js

Sang Do, Let’s Go to School - Gong Hyo Jin is a teacher, Rain is a gigolo taking gigs to support his son; they used to be each other’s first loves. It’s wistful and slice of life and utterly tragic. Written by Lee Kyung Hee of the A Love to Kill and Thank You fame.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jRg1q3RULWk

Save the Last Dance for Me (2004-2005) - I binged 17 episodes of this baby at a go, a record that has not yet been surpassed. Ji Sung is a rich man who is in an accident and gets amnesia, being cared for and falling for Eugene. However when he recovers his memory and forgets his amnesia time - he will end up meeting her again and falling for her all over again (hilariously, his RL wife Lee Bo Young plays the psycho secondary girl in this.)

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ekfBrvJil8c

Say You Love Me (2004) - a much better attempt at Dangerous Liasons than the wretched Tempted. Kim Rae Won and Yoon So Yi, naive and tragic young lovers, come across a pair of jaded sophisticates; the female half of whom is intrigued by the fresh faced KRW and envious of uncomplicated young love and asks her partner to take YSI away from KRW for kicks.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=niL2WJ_oAIU

Seoul 1945 (2006) - from WW2 to the Korean war, this is intense and smart and pulls no punches.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bYsotv2rFQI

Shining Inheritance/Brilliant Legacy (2009) - Han Hyo Joo is a young woman tormented by her family; Lee Seung Gi is a spoiled rich boy who needs to grow up. I was obsessed with this.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1_sWhVZA3DY

Snow Queen (2006-2007) - Hyun Bin and Sung Yuri do a tragic romance melo right. He is a poor, smart kid, she is a brittle rich girl with a terminal illness. It hurts so good.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GEkAbJLYVpk

Someday (2006) - a sheltered cartoonist suffering from a writer’s block meets a sort-of small time private detective. They are both haunted by their pasts but find hope and healing with each other.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tLVijs891dw

Spring Day (2005) - a very solid melo where Jo In Sung ends up stealing the girl from the original leading man.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ps7l27OBnVQ

Spring Waltz (2006) - the last and, imo, best of the seasons dramas, possibly in my all time top 10 kdramas, it follows a haunted young pianist and his OTP and their shared tragic past and hope for the future.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3IGO0DST8dk

Swallow the Sun (2009) - Ji Sung as the haunted mercenary wanting revenge on his father, Sung Yuri as his tough, common-sense girlfriend, one of my fave secondary OTPs (mercenary x stripper) etc etc.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=C51efR5Iq5I

Thank You (2007) - Gong Hyo Jin is an island woman living with the stigma and agony of having an HIV positive child. Jang Hyuk is a surgeon haunted by the death of his girlfriend. Two lost souls find and heal each other in one of my all time favorites.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UVk1TjvZZOw

Time Between Dog and Wolf (2007) - Lee Jun Ki is tortured a lot on his path to revenge and love. I loooove this one.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=v24-57tLFH4

Tree of Heaven (2006) - only ten eps but bring your tissues for this tender and tragic and gorgeous love story between Park Shin Hye and Lee Wan, stepsiblings for a brief time; they reconnect when she’s a cleaner and he’s a gangster. I was sooooo obsessed with it!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YnAZlXZjFcw

What Happened in Bali (2005) - Ha Ji Won, Jo In Sung and So Ji Sub are a trio of desperately damaged people entangled with each other in what is probably still the darkest melo I have seen out of Korea. Money grubbing poor woman played by HJW, high-strung, abused rich son played by JIS, or a cold, ambitious man on the rise SJS - pick any of them, there is enough damage to level a city.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FKHcYvK5qZM

Will It Snow for Christmas (2009) - a melodrama with Go Soo and Han Ye Seul by Lee Kyung Hee.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bvQ14gtCqvw

Worlds Within/The World That They Live In (2008) - the last candidate for my n1 kdrama of all time. By Noh Hee Kyung, with seemingly mundane lives of TV station personnel. But every character is someone you feel you know and Hyun Bin and Song Hye Kyo are both real and unreal as the OTP.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OBHrjZ8T6a4

Congrats if you made it to the end!

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cariiibaez · 4 years ago

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Sometimes I wish I could meet someone who is a practicing catholic and just talk about our own thoughts and beliefs. See the good stuff in the world and being a Catholic. Someone where we are both very good friends. I have learned how the world is put now. Before I was so compassionate and gullible with everyone. I probably encountered many toxic people. People who were not put together and still didn’t care about my own morality. Because I am Catholic, some Protestant guy who was not even a baptized Christian bullied me so badly. He was an ex-gangster. He was not a boyfriend or nothing like that. He bluntly told me bad names about the Catholic faith and told me to be a nun. That is how I learned I have clairaudience, a psychic ability which lead me to read about horoscopes and paganism to understand such thing. At first, I thought the clairaudience voice I was hearing about nun was a divine calling, but he also did bad things like witchy stuff. This has traumatized me and I even read a lot about religious life and really I got burned out. I didn’t know where this voice was coming from. Back then, I used to sort of preach to others about Jesus and the Eucharist even though it is weak in my head. I was being nice and defending my Catholic faith because Protestants Christians were trying to convert me when I am already a Catholic and even have my sacrament of confirmation. Some people are so heartless and rude. Other people prove me how love is so hard and you cannot rush love. In romantic relationships, lust and obsession is so easy to come through which that is fake love, but the good love is so hard. This other guy also traumatized me. He was supposedly a boyfriend. Really a boyfriend. I told him something related to what I spoke about. I spoken to him about purity and chastity. Tried to Introduced him to a book called Love and Responsibility by Pope John Paul ii. I even left my book in his book shelf because that is how I really gave him my trust so easily. I was gullible and compassionate. I was trying to be myself and wonder why he wanted to date me. I thought for a moment maybe we can be a power couple. I was very happy and innocent. I did talked a lot with him where I was probably very annoying. I even introduced him to my mom and my good Chinese friend from high school who is a nurse now. He was not a nice guy because he showed me he didn’t cared for my heart but something else. He was not religious either. He started bullying me but much worse. He has psychic abilities where he really can kill me. Like really witchy stuff but nasty innate ability he has. He digged into my mind and I think he is smart. He is not that stupid. He knows he was looking at my temporal lobe where memories get stored. He killed my Brain cells and never left me alone. He was so bad as well. He bullied me so much and seems to control me through was he thinks he saw in my temporal lobe. I dream a lot about him ever since I saw him last time. He called me so ugly names like names I never heard before like whore, golddigger, belong in the streets. I feel so used even though he didn’t touched me like that. He manipulatived me so badly. I read about prostitution and I feel bad for those women and men victims. I feel bad for sexual assault and sexual harassment. I just feel so bad for the world. I don’t know, my wisdom about the world opened so much.

#universal call to chastity #purity #love #true love #Catholic #Christian #eastern christianity #friendship #grace #courage #Godly woman #Godly man #wisdom #dating #clairaudience

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navigatingrealities · 4 years ago

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So I haven’t been reading as many book as usual in lockdown (thank god for fic) but I have been looking at lots of lists and buying lots of books so here the ones I think are good reading if you have lockdown brain like me. You’ll find here many novellas, a bit of romance and another bit of horror.

Novellas (another godsend):

THE MURDERBOT SERIES by Martha Wells – they are all novellas except the last one but by then you will be hooked. A robot that doesn’t want to be human and doesn’t like humans (… or does he?) tasked by evil corporation to take care of humans in space missions. It’s as great as it sounds.

BLOODCHILD by Octavia E Butler – if you haven’t read Butler, this is a good place to start. It shows you the depth of her stories (in short format!) and the subversion in her works. If you like it, I’d recommend KINDRED next as it is a standalone novel.

THE EMPRESS OF SALT AND FORTUNE by Nghi Vo – this I bought because it was one of the several works sold as “if you liked the Untamed…” and that sales pitch hasn’t steered me wrong yet! Very immersive, about how when you are at your lowest, you can still climb to the top.

PYRE AT THE EYREHOLME TRUST by Lin Darrow – Main character is genderfluid and that is not why is persecuted, it doesn’t raise an eyebrow to those who know Eli. The fact that he has not registered his magical abilities AND that he associates with gangsters does. A heist! Several shootings! And romance!

SISTERS OF THE VAST BLACK by Lina Rather – Nuns in a living spaceship (it’s a giant slug, people). I’m always curious about stories with nuns as mc because I went to a nun school and this was the mix of people wanting to do good with sharp tongues and complex motivations that I like.

THE SORCERER OF THE WILDEEPS by Kai Ashante Wilson – Beautiful writing that does more for worldbuilding that some whole books I’ve read. A pirate captain and his sorcerer go on a journey with their crew.

THE PERILIOUS LIFE OF JADE YEO by Zen Cho – I loved Jade Yeo so much and the choices the author made for her. A lady that does what she wants without apology. Diary format, super hooking.

MY SISTER, THE SERIAL KILLER by Oyinkan Braithwaite – I’m cheating because this is from last year but I completely loved this book and if you haven’t heard of it, I wanted to bring it to your attention. The serial killer and the sister who loves her! Gave me the same yes! feeling as GONE GIRL.

ROMANCE:

A GIRL LIKE HER by Talia Hibbert – I loved Hibbert’s WORK FOR IT so I had to try her het romance (which I don’t read much but I really loved WORK FOR IT). The heroine is autistic and has had a rough time of it in her small town but is unapologetic about her sexual choices which I loved and the love interest is a 100% cinnamon roll.

KJ Charles – Charles has something for everyone and I really recommend her if you are in a reading slump and you want something you will love AND finish.

HORROR (ask me for trigger warnings if you need them, I’m happy to provide them):

WHITE IS FOR WITCHING by Helen Oyeyemi – on the literary side but so so readable! I absolutely loved it. It’s about a family and the house that loves them (… or does it?). Also I didn’t know it was wlw and it is!! Books always get bonus points from me for this.

THE SOUTHERN BOOK CLUB’S GUIDE TO SLAYING VAMPIRES by Grady Hendrix – Hendrix is one of my favourite horror authors so I automatically get all of his books. This is one is about vampires but also about how tenuous women’s positions are when their husbands are their family’s breadwinner, and related to that, gaslighting! Women banding together because there is a predator in the loose and the men are doing nothing about it! Adults trying to do their best even though they don’t want to adult!

THE BUS ON THURSDAY by Shirley Barrett – another cheat but I haven’t seen it anywhere and I found it so extremely funny. One of the few books I have read out loud. The main character takes a job teaching children in a remote village where the previous teacher left in a hurry.

#alba says something #books are my favourite thing #this is my face

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collective-laugh · 6 years ago

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Detective AU - Muriel x MC Chapter 2

Ahhhh, here it is!

Chapter one here!

Taglist: @a-zoidberg-aesthetic @lesbiancountess @fartkittyonline @yaysam @y-all-dnt-ve @countgoatman-and-drleechboy @julians-chest-hair @softarcana @vesuviass @caterpiller-tea @zaemoultrie75901 @saltywerewolfrebel @obsessedwiththearcana @thatsaltyseaman @xburningwitch @i-dont-speak-wolf @missrabbitart

Chapter Two: The Countess of Vesuvia

Red isn’t such a bad color.

Muriel doesn’t know how to not start associating the color with her after she said that, and he can feel his skin heating like a furnace. He’d finished his coffee back when she’d claimed that everyone had a favorite color, and bullied him into telling her what his was, and was standing there, taking a drink from the mug every so often just so he wouldn’t have to go just yet.

He hated Asra for leaving her alone in this dumpy hole in the wall, and he hated him even more for asking him to watch over her while he left, like he was a sitter and she was some incompetent little child who needed him to wipe her ass.

“Red’s nice.” He compliments, bringing his mug back to his lips, in spite of the fact it was empty. He feels idiotic, but he didn’t know how to tell her that he finished his cup. Should he ask for more? She was still sipping on her first, but she was kind enough that he doubted she would even remotely judge him for wanting another cup of coffee so soon.

She smiles, crossing her legs at the knee and swirling her cup again, “So, um...Asra told me that the two of you grew up together.”

Before he can stop himself, he’s asking, “What else has he told you?”

A flicker of surprise passes her face, but she answers, “Oh...he told me that you two were raised together at, uh, St. Margaret’s, and...that you work at the Raven, and...oh, he, uh,” She smiles, “he told me the story about the time the two of you stole those cigarettes from the nun, um…” She snaps her fingers, trying to remember her name, “Sister, uh…”

“Lilin.” Muriel finishes, smiling fondly at the memory and hiding it behind the empty mug, pretending to take another drink.

She laughs and finishes it with a smile that just barely reaches her eyes, “Yes! Sister Lilin. The one with the ruler.”

“Asra was typically the one on the receiving end.” Muriel almost asks for another cup of coffee then, but she laughs at him - his joke? - and smiles into her still half full mug.

“I can definitely see that.” She must finally notice him standing there, holding the empty much-too-small-for-his-hand mug, “Do you want more?”

Yes, he did. “No.” And then, as an afterthought, “Thanks.” He mentally kicks himself. She takes the mug from him, her smile gradually diminishing as she went to put their mugs in the sink he knew was behind the tapestry, and wonders why he couldn’t just tell her that he wanted more coffee.

“So, how long have you been working at the Rowdy Raven, Muriel?” She calls from the back, and he can faintly hear the water running.

“About three years, now.”

She shuts the water off and continues, “I have a friend who frequents there. You might actually know him.”

It takes everything in Muriel’s being not to press his fingers to the bridge of his nose, “Dr. Devorak?”

Her head pops out from behind the tapestry, the rest of her following soon after, “I take it you don’t particularly like him, then?”

“I’ve had to throw him out more often than not.”

She laughs, loud and genuine, “He helped me a lot, after the accident.” She smiles solemnly, “You know about that, right?”

He knew the main gist of it. She’d been involved in a car accident, head trauma, something to do with her head. Asra came to him more often than not, crying about how hard it was staying with someone he loved when they didn’t love him.

Right.

Instead, he lies to keep the conversation flowing, and says, “No, not really.”

She looks a little hurt, like it hurts that Asra wouldn’t tell him about her, but she tells him, “I was involved in a car accident a couple years back, and I, um,” She laughs a little bit, “I forgot who I was, and Asra and Julian made sure I, you know, didn’t die. Asra was the only person who would take me in, and he taught me how to do...everything.”

He didn’t mean to steer the conversation to such a dark place, so he flounders for a moment, unsure of what he was supposed to do with his hands, “How’ve your cases been?”

He can vaguely hear a soft laugh. He knew things were bad, but he didn’t think they were that bad.

“They’ve run cold.” She says, standing at her desk and chuckling at her own joke, “No, we’re um...we’re not in the best spot right now.” She purses her lips, offering no further explanation.

Muriel doesn’t know what to say to that. He assumed that if things really had gotten that bad, Asra would’ve trusted him enough to tell him. Instead, he runs off and leaves her alone to deal with their misfortune. It was hard not to be angry at.

She clears her throat, “Do you dance, Muriel?”

His eyes widen reflexively, and then, for some reason, he’s blushing, “...I don’t know how.” Then, after a moment’s pause, “Do you?”

“A little.” He can’t tell if she’s just being humble or if she’s telling the truth, “I haven’t been for some time, though.”

He figures he might as well bite the bullet now, “Do you want to come with me to work tonight? They, uh...they dance there.”

She arches a brow, “Why?”

Asra asked me to, he thinks, and feels guilty for not telling her the truth. But, instead, he tells her, “So you can dance.”

“Only if you let me teach you?”

He agrees. Of course he does. Asra looked up at him with those stupid dog eyes that got him out of trouble back at the orphanage and asked him to take care of her, because her migraines had been getting worse and she was stressed, and he was scared she might not do so well alone.

Muriel thought he either ought to let her leave or not leave her alone for so long if he was really so worried about her, but it wasn’t his business.

She’s wearing a red dress, because of course. It’s a pencil dress with sleeves that wrapped around her shoulders, and managed to make herself look like a pinup rather than a tired detective in less than a half hour.

“How do I look?” She asks, a bright smile on her face, and it startles him how well she fakes looking happy.

He doesn’t have a chance to tell her how pretty she looks, as they’re cut off by feverish knocking. Regardless, he doubted he would honestly be brave enough to tell her, so he’s thankful for the distraction.

She looks confused, which is, again, enough of a reason to make him wonder how long they’ve been going out of business, and moves to open the door without second thought.

Whoever Muriel was expecting on the other side - Asra, the doctor, a customer, some lost, drunken vagabond - he definitely wasn’t expecting Nadia Satrinava.

Wife of the late Lucio “The Count” Morgason, socialite, and probably the scariest woman in Vesuvia, was standing in the doorframe, wrapped in a shawl, rubbing her gloved hands together.

Lucio himself had been a...mystery. A gangster, if the term ever applied to anyone, who had a knack for showmanship, and made deals with some of the most influential people in town to ensure he wouldn’t be caught by the police. And then, like the peacock he was, his legacy went up in flames like the Hotel Plaza he’d booked in for his birthday.

Police said it was murder. The people heaved a collective sigh of relief and were thankful that he was gone.

Muriel can’t see her face, but he assumes that she looks just as shell-shocked as he feels.

“How can I help you?” She asks, stepping in the doorframe. Muriel’s standing behind her in an instant, drawing a startled look from Nadia, though her attention remains on her.

She answers, clutching her hands together still, Prakran accent thick, “You must be Asra.”

Muriel watches as her shoulders slump, “I’m sorry. He’s away on business, but I’m his partner. Is there anything I can do to help you?”

The Countess, as she was so lovingly nicknamed by those who knew of her, “You...you’re a detective?”

“I…” She throws a look over her shoulder, surprised to see Muriel right behind her, “I am, though we’re not open at the moment.”

“Please.” The Countess insists, placing a hand on the doorframe, “It’s urgent.”

She looks over her shoulder again, wetting her lips, “I...um...I suppose that I could give a check on my plans for tonight?” She looks to Muriel for approval, and when he stands there like a bum, she invites the Countess to, “Please, come in.”

“I don’t suppose it’s necessary to apologize for intruding by now, but I want to anyway.” She pulls one glove off, finger by finger, “I won’t be long...and I…” She bundles the pair of gloves together, “I really am sorry for interrupting your evening out, detective. But I fear for the safety of the city.”

She exchanges a glance with Muriel, and then tells the Countess, “Please, take a seat and if you would excuse us for just one moment…”

“Of course.”

She beckons Muriel to follow her into the back room, where she lowers her voice, “I am so, so sorry about this, but this is the first potential client we’ve had in weeks. I can meet you at the Raven whenever we finish this, or we, um...we can take a raincheck on it?”

“We can wait.” He checks his wristwatch, “I’ve still got a half hour before my shift starts…” He pauses, waiting for her to understand that she had time to finish her business, “...I, ah, I still owe you that dance, anyway.”

She smiles, looking more genuine than she had all night, and rests a hand on his forearm, “I’ll wrap this up as soon as possible, then we can get outta here.” Then, she tacks on, “Thanks, Muriel.” She’s back in the front room before he has a chance to say ‘you’re welcome’.

They’re already talking when Muriel steps back into the front room, arms crossed over his chest. The Countess explains, “I have reason to suspect that my husband was murdered, of course, considering. I’ve turned everywhere else, and no one cares enough to find the killer, no matter how insufferable of a man he was.” She rubs her forehead, “Or, supposedly. I was involved in an accident shortly after his murder, you see. I don’t remember my time in Vesuvia.”

She furrows her brow, scribbling notes on a pad, “Do you think this accident might have been correlated to your husband’s murder?”

“I don’t think so, no.” Nadia’s eyes shift from Muriel to her, “I’m going to leave you my address. I’ve intruded long enough. Please, detective, visit me tomorrow, and I...I might be more clear-headed then.”

“One last question, Miss Satrinava.” Nadia certainly looks pleased at that, and scribbles an address on a scrap of paper as she continues, “Why do you suspect that your husband was murdered?”

Nadia halts in her writing for just a moment, “Well, from what I’ve heard...he was certainly a man with many enemies, and the police never released to cause of the fire...I suppose it makes sense.”

She holds her hand out to shake Nadia’s, “I look forward to meeting with you tomorrow, Miss Satrinava.”

“Likewise, detective.”

#arcana #the arcana #the arcana game #detective au #detective au muriel #chapter 2 #muriel chapter 2 #detective #swearing #tw swearing #muriel x mc #muriel x apprentice #muriel x female apprentice #slowburn #guys we made it chapter two!!#its all downhill from here

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fruit-teeth · 5 years ago

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Joy

Alternate title: That time Demoman killed a gangster.

/(FINALLY, I managed to finish this! I’m coming down with a sore throat, but I powered through and got this done anyway because that’s just how I am. So this is the next installment in my Origins series, and this chapter is Demoman. This one gets pretty long, but I hope y’all like it anyway!)/

Any nun at the Arms of Love Orphan Home would describe Tavish as a happy child. It was all over his record that he always in a good mood, that he loved to smile and laugh and joke with the other children. “Ay, he wis such a sweet child,” Sister Loreena, a nun who knew him most of his childhood, would sigh many years later. “He loved tae make the other children laugh, that's whit A remember most aboot him...” What Loreena conveniently seemed to forget, though, was that he had been at the same orphanage twice in his life. First, as a newborn baby, one who the nuns doted over until he was eventually adopted (of course he was adopted – he was beautiful, after all), but six years later he was promptly returned to the same place. Why? Because, allegedly, he was the reason his adoptive parents were now dead. He had a very strange obsession with explosives, and the nuns were aware of this but they were very concerned. When they banned him from going to the shops to buy his own, he just began making them, and no matter how hard the nuns prayed for him he never stopped. The other children didn't seem terribly concerned with the explosives, and many of them liked to watch him stuff dynamite into the dirt and set it off, blowing chunks of the earth everywhere while they all cheered. Yet, it was the start of the school year when things began to change. Tavish was enrolled in the education program taught right there at the orphanage, and it was there that a new nun was assigned to teach the children. She looked young, much younger than any of the other nuns, and she went by the name of Sister Joy. Joy entered the room, setting down her bag and writing her name with chalk on the board. “Hello, children,” she began, and she spoke in a strange accent they had never heard before. “My name is Sister Joy,” “Hello, Sister Joy!” the children greeted in unison, just as they had been taught. She seemed a little startled by the loud hello, but she shook it off and pinned up a piece of paper to the chalkboard. “This is your schedule, and you are expected to follow it every day unless told otherwise. Now, first, we will begin with devotions -” A girl in the back of the room suddenly gasped. “Tavish!” and that was all the warning there was before a jar of paint came tumbling down from the shelf above and burst open, painting the carpet blue. Joy glanced up, and that was when her eyes met Tavish's frightened face. He'd leaned a bit too far back in his chair and disturbed the shelves sitting behind him in the back – it was clearly a mistake, and while Joy was not happy about it she was also glad that he didn't hurt himself. “Please clean that up,” Joy sighed, pointing to the roll of paper towels sitting in the back. Tavish nodded quickly, jumping up and grabbing the towels and tearing a piece off. He didn't want to disappoint, the nuns here already did not trust him with any explosive. As Joy began to teach, Tavish got on his hands and knees and cleaned the paint off of the floor, glancing up to watch her as she gave the first lesson of the day. After the day ended, Tavish approached Joy at her desk, much to her surprise. “Sister Joy?” he began meekly, hovering over her desk with a look of earnest in his eyes. “I'm sorry I knocked ower the paint, it happened accidentally,” before Joy could even reply, he kept talking. “I wonae dae it again!” Joy laid down her pen, looking him over for a moment – he was tall for a seven-year-old, with thick hair on his head and large round eyes. “That's all right, Tavish,” she assured him. “It's washable paint, anyway, and I am very glad you were so eager to clean it,” she cleared her throat. “I heard from the other sisters that you like to make explosions?” He nodded. “Ay, ma'am,” “You like to be reckless, yes?” “Ay, ma'am,” “Well,” she sat up a little taller, making eye contact with him. “Would you like an opportunity to do something constructive for a change?” Tavish looked away for a moment. The word 'constructive' made him think of construction workers, so did she mean building? “I like makin' things sometimes,” he replied, nodding. Joy smiled a little. “Well, I'm sure you do. But, would you like to help me around my office sometimes? I could do with a little extra help, and you could do with the experience,” “Oh,” Tavish thought about it. “Is that fun?” She shrugged. “It could be. How about we start tomorrow afternoon, yes?” Tavish considered it before he nodded in agreement. “Okay, I can help ye. I can put things together!” “Wonderful,” Joy smiled again, nodding. “I will see you then, Tavish,” Sure enough, he arrived at her office the following afternoon, ready to help with whatever Joy needed him to do. She really admired his enthusiasm, most of the children wouldn't have been as eager to help out as he was. “So, Tavish,” Joy began, watching as he cut out stacks of worksheets with the scissors, making sure he didn't hurt himself. “When did you begin using your explosives?” Tavish shrugged, paying extra attention to the corners of each paper. “I dinnae really remember. I like to play with them and I was gonna explode Nessie at my old house,” Joy's brows furrowed. “Nessie? Do you mean the Loch Ness Monster?” “Shh!” Tavish hissed, whirling around and pressing a finger his lips. “Dinnae say her name! She'll hear ye!” Joy blinked, and she couldn't help but chuckle. “All right, all right. Who is Fergus?” Tavish went back to the papers. “Fergus is ma' old dad,” his voice was a little quieter. “He died, an' so did my old mum,” “Oh...” Joy's heart sank. The other nuns had told her beforehand about this. “I see,” she sat beside him, watching him cut the papers some more. “Well...you have all of us, now,” Tavish still didn't look up. “The sisters says Jesus forgives me,” “That's true,” Joy nodded, folding her hands on her lap. “Anyway, it's um...it's all in the past,” Tavish finally glanced up, and he suddenly got an odd feeling about Sister Joy. “How come yer not old?” he wanted to know, squinting. Joy seemed confused by the question. “What do you mean? Not all nuns are old ladies,” “Really?” Tavish blinked in surprise. “I thought they were all old maids...” “Ah,” Joy smiled, amused, shaking her head. “No, no...and I'm not that young, I'm...” Something out the window caught her attention, and her face fell. Tavish turned around, trying to see what she was seeing. “What?” Joy suddenly grabbed him, yanking him out of the chair and bringing him down to the floor. “Get down!” she exclaimed, her voice full of panic, and it was then that the loud sounds came. Tavish thought they sounded like firecrackers, but he had never seen someone so scared over firecrackers. “What is it?” he asked, feeling very anxious as he felt Joy trembling in fear against him. After a moment, Joy sat up, still holding Tavish close to her, and the sound of tires could be heard skidding away. She sat nothing for a long time, her lips parted slightly as she silently tallied the damage done to the windows. “What happened?” Tavish stared up at her, brows knitted in fear. “What broke the windows?” Joy did not look at him, and she whispered to no one in particular, “God, he found me...” Just then, the door opened, and Sister Loreena came rushing in. “What was all the noise?” she nearly squealed, pulling Tavish away from the window. “Joy, what happened!?” Joy did not answer, and she stood up, quietly leaving the room without another word. Tavish tried to get a better look at the bullet holes in the office window, but Loreena pulled him away. “Come away, child, ye shouldnae touch the broken glass!” The incident was never brought up again, and the window ended up being replaced. Tavish never really forgot about the event, but he continued to help Sister Joy with various odd jobs. She seemed kind and charming in a way most of the nuns weren't, and it wasn't long before he began to trust her completely. He got called a 'teacher's pet' by the other boys, but he didn't care – if he was lucky, maybe Sister Joy could be his new mother! Wouldn't that be something? But a month later, during recess, Tavish sat by the woods with his friends, and they all began to gossip about the teachers, as they often did. “Ye know what I heard?” began Micha, a small wiry boy with wide-rimmed glasses. “I heard Sister Joy isn't really a nun!” Tavish shook his head, making a face. “No, she's a nun! She's just not old like the other nuns! You're wrong, Micha,” “No, no!” chimed in Ramona, tall for her age but still just the same size as Tavish. “It's true! Kenny says he heard Sister Mary talkin' an' she said Sister Joy was 'impure'!” “Impure?” Tavish repeated. “What does that mean?” “Not holy,” Micha explained. “It means she isn't a nun!” This thought didn't sit right with Tavish at all, although he wasn't sure why. What did 'impure' mean? If she wasn't a nun, then what was she? He decided to ask her himself. When he went to visit her that afternoon to help sort her cabinets out, he asked her right up front: “Sister Joy, are you impure?” Joy nearly dropped the stacks of papers she was carrying. “Am I...am I what?” “Impure,” Tavish began to explain. “My friends said you were impure and that you weren't really a nun,” Joy went quiet before she turned around and knelt to Tavish's height. “Tavish,” she began. “Everything is rather...complicated at the moment. I can't explain everything, but...” she swallowed. “All I will tell you is that once everything is sorted out, I will have to leave,” “Leave!?” Tavish was flabbergasted, and he wrapped his arms around her neck. “But you can't go!” “I will have to,” Joy took his chin into her hand, and she kissed his forehead. “I wish I could stay, but that's not God's plan,” Tavish sniffed, blinking up at her. “Can...can I go with you?” Joy smiled sadly, and she shook her head. “I'm afraid not. You have to stay here,” “But I want to go with you,” he stared at the floor, pouting, tears welling in his eyes. “Maybe you could be my new mum...” Joy fell silent, and after a moment, she took Tavish's hand and squeezed it. “That can't happen, unfortunately,” she spoke very seriously to him, yet her eyes were full of warmth. “But, I want you to know that if my baby is a boy, I hope he's just like you,” There was a pause. Tavish looked up, realizing what she had said. “Baby...?” She placed his hand over her stomach, which was hidden beneath her robe, but he felt right away that it was firm. He stared in surprise, blinking. “You're going to have a baby?” “You must not tell the other children, whatever you do,” she lowered her voice, speaking in a hushed whisper. “This must be kept a secret,” Tavish felt downright shocked. Were nuns allowed to have babies? He knew they couldn't get married, so how would she have a baby? Now that he was so close to Sister Joy, he began to notice other details about her: her ears had holes in them, but no earrings, she had a very faint scar on her top lip, and perhaps the strangest of all was the marks on her wrists he’d noticed when she held his hand. Not to mention that when he saw her face up close, he realized she was not as young as he'd thought she was. She was already starting to look older...did she always have so many wrinkles? Still, Tavish told no one. He kept it in, never saying a word, but as the months progressed Sister Joy's secret pregnancy was becoming more and more noticeable. The other children noticed, but they didn't suspect that she was pregnant: they just giggled behind her back about her being 'fat'. Only Tavish knew the truth. And then came that fateful winter night. During a choir concert in the chapel, Tavish sang right along with the other children, just as he always did, when he noticed that Sister Joy was looking on the window again. She was in the audience, but he could clearly see her watching some lights going by through the stained glass. When the song ended, the children were dismissed, and Tavish watched as Joy opened the door and slipped out quickly, not saying a word. “Sister Joy?” Tavish followed after her, not even bothering to put on his jacket as he stepped out into the snow. “Where are you going?” She didn't seem to hear him, and she stood by the side of the road, where a car was parked. “I told you to leave me alone,” she spoke harshly to whoever was in the driver's side, his fists clenched in anger. “I don't need this right now,” Tavish stopped, watching the altercation from a safe distance. He caught a glimpse of who was driving the car: a large, scarred man, clad in a suit with a cigarette in his lips. “Shut up and get in the car, Helen,” he growled, removing the cigarette. Joy took a step back, shaking her head. “No. You don't control me anymore,” He turned his huge form towards her, and something shiny glinted in his hand. “I said,” he presented the gun, glaring into her eyes. “Get in the car, and take off all that shit,” Tavish gasped, freezing up. His heart pounded – what could he do? He had never seen anything like this before, and he was just a boy. Joy took another step back, gritting her teeth. “Don't do this, Issac,” Issac pursed his lips together. “Do the right thing, and get in the car,” when she didn't move, he sighed. “I'll count to three...one,” Tavish looked around frantically, feeling dizzy. He looked towards the warm glow of the church, suddenly recalling that there was something very important in his coat pocket. “Two...” In a flurry, Tavish rushed to the church doors, scrambling for the coat rack and nearly ripping down his coat. He grabbed the homemade grenade he'd hidden from the nuns earlier that morning, and he rushed back out into the snow. “Three!” Issac aimed the gun, but before he could do anything, a young boy came rushing up with a strange-looking object in his hand. “Tavish!” Joy exclaimed, shrieking and attempting to pull him back. The last thing Issac ever saw was the young boy tearing a pin out of the object before he threw it into the open window. Joy fell right on her back, holding Tavish as close to her body as possible, trying to shield him for flying debris as the car exploded, sending bits of metal everywhere. The noise died down, and Joy sat up slowly, still holding Tavish close to her. As she silently stared at all of the damage done, at the wrecked car and the remains of the man who had antagonized her, Tavish shifted in her arms. “Ow,” he whimpered, wriggling. Joy glanced down, pulling him away to look at him. “A-are you all right? I – oh, no!” she gasped, realizing that she hadn't managed to protect him from all the flying debris. “What?” he tried to blink, but something wasn't quite right with his vision. He touched his left eye, feeling at it. “W-what happened to my eye?” What happened next was a blur. Joy screamed for an ambulance, and the other nuns were surrounding him and whispering prayers over him as he was rushed to the hospital. He wondered if he was dying, but whenever he asked no one seemed to answer. His last memory of Joy was her hovering over him, tears in her eyes as she brushed his cheek. She was out of her robes, and for the first time, he saw her long black hair framing her face. She seemed youthful again as she stroked his hair, and her eyes glinted as she watched his face. “May God be with you, Tavish,” she whispered. “Thank you, for what you've done. This will not be forgotten,” He never saw her again, and the nuns never said where she went. The following events are debatable, but Tavish claims to this day that they happened. At just seven years old, Tavish was already ready to give up on life, and he suddenly felt hopeless and scared. He cried in the darkness, alone and terrified, and he sobbed into the dark, “I dinnae wanna be here anymore! I wanna go home! I just wanna go home!” He choked on his sobs in the dark, his shoulders quivering when suddenly someone joined him. “You must rise, Tavish,” a gentle voice whispered to him. A green glow appeared beside him, though he couldn't see a face. “But Joy left...” he sniffed. “Joy is gone,” “She will be all right,” the voice assured. “But you must rise. If you don't, you will never meet your family,” “What family?” Tavish looked up, his eyes unable to adjust to the glow. “I dinnae have a family,” A pair of arms held him, and he felt a loving warmth wash over him. “You do,” the voice assured. “And you have friends waiting for you – and they will love what you do. But, you must rise,” So he rose, and he continued. After all was said and done, Tavish sat alone in his bedroom, hugging his knees as he stared out of the window. He still had pain in some places, and now he only had one eye. Yet, despite everything, he was alive. Someone knocked on his door. “Tavish?” Sister Loreena poked her head in the doorway. “Tavish, darling, you have visitors,” Tavish stood up obediently, and he followed Loreena down the stairs to the meeting area. There stood a man and a woman, both watching Tavish anxiously as he entered the room. He paused, taking a look at both of them for a good while, before he asked, “Are you me new mum and dad?” The woman let out a sob, and she fell to her knees, pulling Tavish in her arms and holding him close. “Oh, my God! Oh, my God!” she exclaimed, beginning to weep, rocking him as she held him. Tavish blinked, very confused. He didn't know these people at all... The man knelt beside the two, unfurling a newspaper with the headline, Notorious Gangster Dead in Car Explosion. “We have of explainin' tae do, dear boy,” the man began, placing his free hand on Tavish's shoulder.

#writing #my writing #i need sleep #tf2 #tf2 fanfiction #tf2 demoman #tf2 administrator #origins #guns tw #explosions tw #do i have to tag this #ah well #just in case

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graiinnemhaol-blog · 6 years ago

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— ✧ MILA KUNIS ?? no, that’s just GRÁINNE MAIRÉAD CASSIDY !! she’s the THIRTY year old daughter of BLACK TOM CASSIDY & EILISH SULLIVAN ( surviving member of GOTHAM’S SULLIVAN CRIME FAMILY ) and is a PUB OWNER ( & MERCENARY ) at paragon academy. i hear she’s MACHIAVELLIAN & CHARISMATIC, but tends to be STOICAL & CYNICAL. her file says that her mutations are BANSHEE PHYSIOLOGY & FEAR MANIPULATION redirect to her stats page HERE and her pinterest board HERE.

may you be in heaven a full half hour before the DEVIL knows you’re dead.

SECTION ONE OF TWO: BULLET POINT HISTORY trigger warnings for talk of abuse, death and shootings.

gráinne mairéad cassidy. she was born in the SPRING in the heart of dublin city, third in a family of five. they didn’t know it then, looking down at their newest pride and joy - but she would be the APPLE of her father’s eye, and the very bane of her mother’s existence.

it wasn’t that she was a difficult child. in FACT, gráinne was the opposite. she was a quiet baby and an easily entertained toddler, and when she began attending primary school, she excelled. she was always LAUGHING and joking, and she seemed to get along, well enough, with her peers - she had a certain charm, even back then, that meant she didn’t seem to struggle in pulling together quite a LARGE friend group, dozens of little kids getting invited to every birthday party. on paper, it seemed, she was the perfect little girl. imagine, then, if you will : her first parent teacher meeting, when mrs hallahan says that gráinne has a little bit of a temper, and that she’s something of a ringleader.

they don’t really believe it, at FIRST - least of all tom. they chalk it down to a teacher with a bit of a grudge - and when they notice that she always needed to be in command of her siblings, they chalk that down to middle child syndrome. in a way, maybe, it WAS. they were all close in age, but gráinne had a strong personality ; her dad would ease eilish’s mind by telling her that it was just that coming through.

it was the ANGER that became impossible to ignore. she was eight years old the first time that she got into a fight. a girl in the schoolyard made a disparaging comment about gráinne’s younger sibling - they’d always been taught to stick up for one another lest no one else try to, and in the few seconds that it took for everyone else to catch up, she had already launched herself at that little girl, slamming her head into the tarmac beneath their feet. she had to be pulled off of her, and when she was asked what had happened, she’d explained with a kind of DISTRACTEDNESS. she didn’t care about what she’d just done. when her dad put her to bed that night, he asked her why, and gráinne just shrugged ; she hurt their feelings.

it seemed, back then, that gráinne’s biggest problem was with anyone who tried to pick on her family. indeed, back then, it was only when her siblings were at the other end of a rude comment or started something that they couldn’t finish that gráinne stepped in. soon enough, everyone at their catholic primary school knew that the cassidy’s were UNTOUCHABLES, if only because little gráinne made sure of it - though unfortunately, the threat of their sister would only hold for so long before the school was forced to expel her.

in the same years that a sibling or two transferred to a christian brothers all boys school, gráinne was moved to a new all girls - alone, this time, which tom and eilish thought for the BEST.

unfortunately, being apart from her siblings did little to curb the temper that had long since developed. she lasted a YEAR in this new school, and on the day they broke up for summer, she came home with a letter to her parents saying she wasn’t welcome back.

there was the belief, for a long time, that she would grow out of it. that EVENTUALLY, she would learn not to snap - they didn’t think to get her help, because they didn’t realize just how bad it was. somehow or another, the reality of gráinne’s willingness to attack anyone that had wronged her, or her family, or a friend, was lost on them.

at fourteen, gráinne assaulted a teacher. she was attending a private convent school, at this point, having exhausted all the nearby public ones - and she swore up and down that the nun she had hit had hit her FIRST. it didn’t matter that it was the truth. when it all came down to it. the school board removed her, immediately, and though they searched for months for some place new to send her, it was a NO GO. news spread fast.

eilish was the one with the idea to send her away. tom would have never agreed, if she hadn’t been so insistent - he probably still wouldn’t have, if it hadn’t been for the fact that she left little room for ARGUMENT. they’d exhausted dublin city, catering to their daughter who wasn’t going to change. they had ignored what they’d been told was brewing, and now they had a child who spoke volumes with her fists, who didn’t struggle to find herself a gang of new schoolmates and who carried with her, in the words of the nun left with a fractured jaw : an AURA of fear.

the only choice, her mother said, was to send her away. tom agreed, but at first it was on the condition that she be sent to XAVIER’S. at some point, she would develop a mutation - it seemed fair enough to presume. he convinced eilish, for a time, at least, that gráinne’s anger could be led back to the tumultuous feelings brought on by the coming in of a mutation. she lasted a week in xavier’s, before they were informed that she couldn’t continue - she was a danger to others, but most importantly, a danger to HERSELF. her reckless displays meant to try entice her parents take her home could be catastrophic, and the fights she got into in just a week were ridiculous. it was too much hassle for a girl that didn’t even seem to be a mutant.

eilish won out. in the end, she was taken in by the SULLIVAN’S, the half of the family she saw once yearly, if she was lucky, and she was sent to gotham academy. whatever her mother HOPED would happen from this turn of events didn’t. oh, she didn’t get kicked out again ; MIRACULOUSLY, though both her parents waited anxiously for word that she had been removed from another school, gráinne seemed to settle in quite well. she went back to EXCELLING in no time.

the problem was ; she was surrounded, now, by people who had the same issue that SHE did. kids with more anger than their tiny selves could hold. kids who knew how to throw a punch better than they knew how to solve the latest algebra assignment. kids who she could throw down with, one day, but who would turn around and clap her on the back in good nature, the next. she found her place amongst the miscreants, the bottom of the barrel. she was still angry. sometimes, she thought that she would never be anything more than a girl with a fire in her belly, always waiting for the spark that would cause an explode. but the thing was... no one cared anymore. no one QUESTIONED it. no one avoided her, because of it. while the ‘aura of fear’ she seemed to have developed back home followed her, while there were those who learned quick that gráinne cassidy shouldn’t be crossed... she soon found people who DIDN’T care for the image. who didn’t fear the rumors.

she graduated in the top ten percent, and the plan had always been for her to return HOME, but... in the sullivan’s, gráinne found something that she hadn’t had, with her parents. there was an ACCEPTANCE of who she was - all parts of her, at that. they were meant to be a home away from home. they were meant to make her welcome, and guide her through those years spent in gotham. but they weren’t meant to take her under their wings. they weren’t meant to nurture the darkest parts of her ; yet it quickly became evident that they had. gráinne didn’t return home. she remained in gotham, and she was very quickly initiated into the gang. it seemed perfectly natural.

two years. two more years of happiness, of belonging. it was strange that the only place she had ever felt knew her fully and knew her well was amongst gangsters and criminals, but gráinne found a happiness and a love and a loyalty amongst them that she found nowhere else. she got TWO YEARS after graduation with the people that she fondly came to refer to as her psuedo siblings, and then, it came crashing down.

days before thanksgiving, gráinne began to feel... wrong. a certain sense of unrest settled deep in the pit of her stomach, and it felt as if her head were going to split open with the force of the migraine that developed, the closer they got to that fateful day. she couldn’t put her finger on it. couldn’t understand it, no matter how hard she TRIED. it was business as usual for the family, and she couldn’t spare much of her time to trying to work it out.

on thanksgiving day, the irish gang were gunned down in a hotel restaurant by alberto falcone, in spite of their long held loyalty to the falcone family. gráinne was present. moreso than that ; gráinne was caught in the crossfire, despite a distant cousins effort to push her down out of the way.

she died.

and she AWOKE again, in the ruins of what was left. an emt found her struggling to breath beneath the weight of a cousin, and the only survivor of the thanksgiving day massacre was rushed under the cover of night and three cop cars to the nearby hospital. they couldn’t even call the recovery that she made miraculous, no sign of any injury sustained in the shooting left to tell the tale. she was deemed, somehow, lucky, and discharged into the car of her parents within the 24 hour window.

they brought her home, immediately. someone had wanted the irish gang DEAD, and had gone to great lengths to wipe them all out - gráinne and her mother, even her siblings, were at GREAT risk due to their bloodline alone, and gotham city was not a safe place for them to be. it was only back in dublin that she confided in her father that she had not emerged as unscathed as believed - and after a display of what she could DO, tom knew her mutation was all they could thank for her survival.

the mental recovery should have taken longer than the physical. the lone survivor of an event that had taken from this world almost her entire family, gráinne should have reacted in kind. but over the next few months, it became abundantly clear that there was something... missing. there was a part of gráinne CHANGED, and it was not what they might have thought. she was a banshee by mutation, dictated to have a stomach turning connection to DEATH in the aftermath of her family being wiped out - and death was not known for its kindness. something turned cold inside of gráinne, when she died. something turned sour.

and for the detriment of all those around her and the good of herself, she’s never really tried to FIND what was missing.

against her families wishes, she returned to gotham a mere two years after the sullivan’s execution. she made her survival KNOWN. and she did the one thing that until she died, she had never thought she wanted ; she established herself the head of the sullivan crime family, the LONE survivor, the new mob boss. she’s been working as so ever since.

SECTION TWO OF THREE: HEADCANONS

she was named gráinne for gráinne mhaol, also known by the anglicized grace o’malley - the PIRATE QUEEN of mayo, a ‘woman who hath imprudently passed the part of womanhood’ - mairéad for an aunt, long since passed, and she chose philomena because she’s the PATRON SAINT of lost causes ; and she always thought of herself as one.

think vampire diaries brand vampires, and how they can simply... switch their emotions off. since she DIED and her mutation kicked in, gráinne’s empathy has been quite literally shot. she isn’t missing a part of herself so much as her mutation... shut that part of her off, both because of the trauma, and because her status as a literal banshee puts her into a position ruled by death. she didn’t just CHANGE from the woman she was, after the event. she’s still her. but for a decade she’s been living without remorse and a pathetic version of empathy, because for a decade, she’s been choosing not to seek an answer or make a change.

the hole in the wall, the pub bought and run by gráinne, is a wicked source of income on it’s own - but it’s also the front for an illegal gambling ring, as per the usual for ANY business venture run by a mobster. there had to be a catch, and gráinne’s is that if you pay enough money or know the right people you can partake in any number of the illegal games being played above the bar on any given night.

at one point in time, gráinne cassidy and ajax falcone were engaged to be married. betrothed members of two gotham crime families, it would have been understandable if they couldn’t stand each other - but gráinne CARED for ajax, and in him had found a confidant that she didn’t quite have, even with the sullivan’s. her loyalty once extended to more than just her immediate family, and ajax is the only remaining reminder of that. in spite of the fact that their marriage fell through, in spite of the fact that he turned his back on his family, gráinne will ALWAYS care.

gráinne fell in love. she SURPRISED herself with that. somehow, there was a person who managed to warm her - even a fraction more. she loved them, and they loved her, and at the end of a whirlwind romance came the marriage that she had dreamt of, when she was younger and none the more naive. she would have burnt the world to ash for them and put them on a throne - but because of who she is, they DIED. they were killed. she’s vowed, since, that she will never love again.

SECTION THREE OF THREE: WANTED CONNECTIONS

people she met at xavier’s the one time she attended it and who hated her GUTS

ppl who didn’t hate her at xaviers !! friends !!

gotham friends !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

gotham enemies

people who have hired her to do some nasty shit for them

people who have been the victim of her doing some nasty shit

someone soft who she can ... want to protect. someone outside of her family that she CARES abt, basically

anything

GRÁINNE CASSIDY, our MILA KUNIS fc is looking for her SIBLINGS / TWO OLDER, TWO YOUNGER who look like FINN COLE, OLIVIA COOKE, CILLIAN MURPHY, EMILY BROWNING, DOUGLAS BOOTH / ANY FACE CLAIM who are anything from 20-40 YEARS OLD. you DON’T have to contact prior to applying. ( do u want to play a member of a crime fam, but ur not sure which to pick? do u want to play an irish char, but dont know what to do? if the answer is yes to the first and no to the second, but ur ok with settling, then boy o boy do i have the crime fam for you ! mutant on their fathers side and mobster on their mothers, the cassidy-sullivan’s are honestly… p hot, if i say so myself. their matriarch was left the only member of the fam after they were wiped out in gotham about ten years ago, and now they’re all getting older, the kids are restarting that specific fam business. i love the idea of them all having like… conflicting ideals, conflicting ideas for their fam, conflicting LIVES. gráinne fancies herself the head of the family right now, and at least for the minute is continuing their loyalty to the falcone’s. her sibs could want to challenge her… could be happy working alongside her… could mayb not even wanna be apart of the family - it’s honestly up to YOU ! )

GRÁINNE CASSIDY, our MILA KUNIS fc is looking for the FAMILY OF HER DECEASED SPOUSE connection who look like ANY FACE CLAIMS and are ANY AGE. you DON’T have to contact prior to applying. ( gráinne married at twenty six to the self professed love of her young life - someone who was better than her, who may or may not have known the full extent of the cassidy-sullivan crime families activities, but who loved her back, regardless of all else. theirs was a whirlwind romance - they had known each other before, surely, but had gotten ahead of themselves quickly once together - begun in spring and married in winter ; and when the leaves began to turn once more, and new life began to bloom, gráinne’s love was taken from her. it was her fault. whether they died for her or died because of her, details can be smoothed out, but the blame rests on only one woman’s shoulders, and their family surely KNOWS. give her people who resent that she exists. people who can’t understand why a light of their lives was extinguished, while gráinne cassidy gets to continue. give her people who can fuel her own feelings of responsibility. )

GRÁINNE CASSIDY, our MILA KUNIS fc is looking for her BAR STAFF connections who look like ANY FACE CLAIM and are 21+. you DON’T have to contact prior to applying. ( the hole in the wall - previously named the hope & anchor - is an old style pub modeled after a classic irish bar, purchased in the summer past by the cassidy family, a deed in the name of gráinne. quiet and quaint, it sits on the corner of a street in town and is seemingly the home of a group of wise men that will happily chat and tell stories to just about anyone who sits near nough to them, and while irish made pints and alcohols are definitely the speciality, after 6.pm you can order some iconic ireland meals from the dinner menu. there’s live irish trad music every tuesday and thursday, after nine, and a dj plays all the current hits at the weekend. your character could be anything from that dj to a bartender or server - any job you can think of is fair game, and gráinne isn’t too bad of a person to work for, all considered. ) ( come work with gráinne and bea zsasz ! )

GRÁINNE CASSIDY, our MILA KUNIS fc is looking for her [ ARRANGED ] SPOUSE TO BE connection who looks like ANY FACE CLAIM and is 28+. you DON’T have to contact prior to applying. ( the only requirement that i’m going to place on this wc is that they must belong to another crime family - be it gotham based or from elsewhere. gráinne herself has come to the states with her mind on moving upwards in the world ; she herself has agreed to a union between her house and another’s, all in the name of power. in a life like HERS, bonds are made and broken easily. the only thing that can even begin to guarantee loyalty is a bond, of marriage or blood, and this is likely something that both families understand. her mother always threatened to turn her into a pawn ; gráinne has chosen to make her own moves. ) ( ajax falcone fulfills a past connection, but i’d still LOVE a current spouse to be )

#sidekick.intro #「･ﾟ ☘️ ･ * with every year she married her soul to the void ― gráinne mairéad cassidy. 」#mentions of death cw

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cosmospoons · 7 years ago

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House MD series 1

30 second episode recaps from someone whos just watched em for the first time and has bad recall

ep1: house saves a patient who was a kindergarten teacher played by theresa lisbon actress and made his fellows housebreak for fun, told foreman he hired him for his criminal record and told Cameron he hired her for her looks

ep2: house cures a student athlete who recently got engaged without telling his parents and played lacrosse and also won a bet on the paternity of the kid by stealing the parents DNA surprise surprise he was adopted

ep3: house cures a dude who didnt have two separate things but one thing but he worked it out eventually and blames pharmaceutical companies and people who care too much

ep4: house saves some babies but actually not all of them and cuddy yelled at him when he literally flipped a coin to decide which baby got which treatment when trying to eliminate the one that wouldnt work (spoilers neither did)

ep5: House didn't screw up like everyone said he did actually and he is the one who realised the nun had a v old birth control implant that she was allergic too even after cuddy took him off the case to stop him killing the patient

ep6: it was houses bday and cameron kept telling him about it, the schizophrenic patients son had so much shit together it was impressive, house worked out it was cancer and then realised she wasnt schizophrenic and saved the day twice

ep7: turns out cameron has a tragic backstory, wilson may or may not b dating some1 in the hospital even tho hes married n either way house is gunna fIND oUT and grilled him after asking him to come stare at a patients breasts with him,, the patient had a bad case of sleepy night night and would have preferred death to admitting she slept with her husbands friend but they worked it out anyway and the husband left her

ep8: the mother of all PTA mums is really tryna control whether or not house can save lives and also he should probably stop making people break into places just saying, also there's a horny old lady who's in love with house and Wilson reads her love poetry loudly in the lobby it was hilarious

ep 9: house proves the other doctor wrong even tho no one believes him and he has a restraining order filed against him that dont let him near the patient,, not only does he fix the pneumonia but also the paralysis and gets the patients legs back

Ep10: I FIGURED IT OUT BEFORE THEY DID HAH the patient was a homeless woman who foreman who didn't care about and then cared too much about, Wilson has a secret brother who's been missing for years and they couldn't save the patient, it was a tragic episode

Ep11: cuddy bets house he won't last a week without painkillers ((except actually it was Wilson who's a sneaky bitch (i love him))) and house realises hes an addict but it's nOT A PROBLEM JAMES and also he makes people dig up a cat to solve the case of amanda seyfrieds boyfriend and it's not lupus ffs

Ep12: wow that man's arm really snapped and he's real brittle. He's also famous and a recovering addict. Wilson is a lying liar who didn't go to the monster truck rally

Ep13: Juni from spy kids got cursed by an ouigi board, chases dad is an areshole who has cancer that he's not telling chase about, house was gunna but realised he does actually care about things and junis dad was a Liar™

Ep14: house lied about a patient's psych condition to get her a heart, Wilson suspects and probably knows this, cuddy suspects also chase found out and volger is a dick

Ep15: volger is a fucking dick honestly I'll kill him but at least the gay gangsters brother bought house a shiny new car, sidenote house in a labcoat is wierd

Ep16: I've said it before n I'll say it again volger is a PENIS he's tryna make house fire a fellow, what a bastard. Also there was a lonely lonely child who was sick but dw house cured her n they didn't cut off her breasts

Ep17: Volger blackmails house into doing a speech and Regrets It, Chase is a snitch and the black politician whos running for president didn't have aids

Ep18: Wilson tried to save houses job from primo dick man vulgar so vulgar tried to kick him off the board and he got FIRED essentially and I'm SO MAD JC FUCK U VULVA also the patient has cancer n didn't want chemo to save her foetus n everyone misses Cameron who quit at the end of the last ep but at the end it was all ok cus cuddy stood up to volvo and Wilson came back and they all drank together so

Ep19: The 12 yr old was pregnant, there mUSt be a reason Wilson has to sit in on house interviews, there was an epidemic in the hospital which made it crowded n busy and Cameron told house she'd only come back to work if he took her on a date

Ep20: sulus here and he likes to be choked, chase tried his hand at being a dominatrix and failed, everyone's teasing house about the date with cameron, house blackmailed the parents, the date was super awkward, I really love Wilson just a lot tbh he's so protective of house

Ep21: Stacy is here in the now but more importantly house is giving a lecture and we're getting Backstory and some fantastic interactions this episode is so good and also tragic, how could stacy do that to him what a bitch ass move jc it's HIS LIFE, HIS LEG damn you

Ep22: well it opened with house drugging Stacy's husband and honestly that was a bit of a theme he just kept drugging him against his will but he did save him in the end so oh well, sidenote stacy needs to back off and leave house alone this is bad for him

Season 2

#if yall want more i will be doing one of these for each season that i watch #n even if u dont want #i will probs b doin it anyway #house md #house #gregory house #james williams #eric foreman #chase #whos firstname i cant remember #shit #alison cameron #lisa cuddy #hugh laurie #there are so many guest stars #i literally just yelled out amanda seyfrieds name when she appeared #it took me by surprise #house summary #house season 1

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aviation1965 · 5 years ago

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Care about East Timor

(From��Mother Jones, August 26, 1999).

There are three good reasons why Americans should care about East Timor. First, since the Indonesian invasion of December 1975, East Timor has been the site of some of the worst atrocities of the modern era — atrocities which are mounting again right now. Second, the US government has played a decisive role in escalating these atrocities and can easily act to mitigate or terminate them. It is not necessary to bomb Jakarta or impose economic sanctions. Throughout, it would have sufficed for Washington to withdraw support and to inform its Indonesian client that the game was over. That remains true as the situation reaches a crucial turning point — the third reason.

President Clinton needs no instructions on how to proceed. In May 1998, Secretary of State Madeleine Albright called upon Indonesian President Suharto to resign and provide for “a democratic transition.” A few hours later, Suharto transferred authority to his handpicked vice president. Though not simple cause and effect, the events illustrate the relations that prevail. Ending the torture in East Timor would have been no more difficult than dismissing Indonesia’s dictator in May 1998.

Not long before, the Clinton administration welcomed Suharto as “our kind of guy,” following the precedent established in 1965 when the general took power, presiding over army-led massacres that wiped out the country’s only mass-based political party (the PKI, a popularly supported communist party) and devastated its popular base in “one of the worst mass murders of the 20th century.” According to a CIA report, these massacres were comparable to those of Hitler, Stalin, and Mao; hundreds of thousands were killed, most of them landless peasants. The achievement was greeted with unrestrained euphoria in the West. The “staggering mass slaughter” was “a gleam of light in Asia,” according to two commentaries in The New York Times, both typical of the general western media reaction. Corporations flocked to what many called Suharto’s “paradise for investors,” impeded only by the rapacity of the ruling family. For more than 20 years, Suharto was hailed in the media as a “moderate” who is “at heart benign,” even as he compiled a record of murder, terror, and corruption that has few counterparts in postwar history.

Suharto remained a darling of the West until he committed his first errors: losing control and hesitating to implement harsh International Monetary Fund (IMF) prescriptions. Then came the call from Washington for “a democratic transition” — but not for allowing the people of East Timor to enjoy the right of self-determination that has been validated by the UN Security Council and the World Court.

In 1975, Suharto invaded East Timor, then being taken over by its own population after the collapse of the Portuguese empire. The United States and Australia knew the invasion was coming and effectively authorized it. Australian Ambassador Richard Woolcott, in memos later leaked to the press, recommended the “pragmatic” course of “Kissingerian realism,” because it might be possible to make a better deal on Timor’s oil reserves with Indonesia than with an independent East Timor. At the time, the Indonesian army relied on the United States for 90 percent of its arms, which were restricted by the terms of the agreement for use only in “self-defense.” Pursuing the same doctrine of “Kissingerian realism,” Washington simultaneously stepped up the flow of arms while declaring an arms suspension, and the public was kept in the dark.

The UN Security Council ordered Indonesia to withdraw, but to no avail. Its failure was explained by then-UN Ambassador Daniel Patrick Moynihan. In his memoirs, he took pride in having rendered the UN “utterly ineffective in whatever measures it undertook” because “[t]he United States wished things to turn out as they did” and “worked to bring this about.” As for how “things turned out,” Moynihan comments that, within a few months, 60,000 Timorese had been killed, “almost the proportion of casualties experienced by the Soviet Union during the Second World War.”

The massacre continued, peaking in 1978 with the help of new arms provided by the Carter administration. The toll to date is estimated at about 200,000, the worst slaughter relative to population since the Holocaust. By 1978, the United States was joined by Britain, France, and others eager to gain what they could from the slaughter. Protest in the West was minuscule. Little was even reported. US press coverage, which had been high in the context of concerns over the fall of the Portuguese empire, declined to practically nothing in 1978.

In 1989, Australia signed a treaty with Indonesia to exploit the oil of “the Indonesian Province of East Timor” — a region sober realists tell us is not economically viable, and therefore cannot be granted the right of self-determination. The Timor Gap treaty was put into effect immediately after the army murdered several hundred more Timorese at a graveyard commemoration of a recent army assassination. Western oil companies joined in the robbery, eliciting no comment.

After 25 terrible years, steps are finally being taken that might bring the horrors to an end. Indonesia agreed to permit a referendum in August 1999 in which the Timorese were to be permitted to choose “autonomy” within Indonesia or independence from it. It is taken for granted that if the vote is minimally free, pro-independence forces will win. The occupying Indonesian army (TNI) moved at once to prevent this outcome. The method was simple: Paramilitary forces were organized to terrorize the population while TNI adopted a stance of “plausible deniability,” which quickly collapsed in the presence of foreign observers who could see firsthand that TNI was arming and guiding the killers.

The militias are credibly reported to be under the direction of Kopassus, the dreaded Indonesian special forces modeled on the US Green Berets and “legendary for their cruelty,” as the prominent Indonesia scholar Benedict Anderson observes. He adds that in East Timor, “Kopassus became the pioneer and exemplar for every kind of atrocity,” including systematic rapes, tortures, and executions, and organization of hooded gangsters. Concurring, Australia’s veteran Asia correspondent David Jenkins notes that this “crack special forces unit [had] been training regularly with US and Australian forces until their behavior became too much of an embarrassment for their foreign friends.” Congress did bar US training of the killers and torturers under IMET, but the Clinton Administration found ways to evade the laws, leading to much irritation in Congress but little broader notice. Now, congressional constraints may be more effective, but without the kind of inquiry that is rarely undertaken in the case of US-backed terror, one cannot be confident.

Jenkins’s conclusion that Kopassus remains “as active as ever in East Timor” is verified by close observers. “Many of these army officers attended courses in the United States under the now-suspended International Military Education and Training (IMET) program,” he writes. Their tactics resemble the US Phoenix program in South Vietnam, which killed tens of thousands of peasants and much of the indigenous South Vietnamese leadership, as well as “the tactics employed by the Contras” in Nicaragua, following lessons taught by their CIA mentors that it should be unnecessary to review. The state terrorists “are not simply going after the most radical pro-independence people but going after the moderates, the people who have influence in their community.”

‘It’s Phoenix’ … notes a well-placed source in Jakarta,” Jenkins writes. That source adds that the aim is “‘to terrorize everyone’ — the NGOs, the [Red Cross], the UN, the journalists.”

The goal is being pursued with no little success. Since April, the Indonesian-run militias have been conducting a wave of atrocities and murder, killing hundreds of people — many in churches to which they fled for shelter — burning down towns, driving tens of thousands into concentration camps or the mountains, where, it is reported, thousands have been virtually enslaved to harvest coffee crops. “They call them ‘internally displaced persons,'” an Australian nun and aid worker said, “but they are hostages to the militias. They have been told that if they vote for independence, they will be killed.” The number of the displaced is estimated at 50,000 or more.

Health conditions are abysmal. One of the few doctors in the territory, American volunteer Dan Murphy, reported that 50 to 100 Timorese are dying daily from curable diseases while Indonesia “has a deliberate policy not to allow medical supplies into East Timor.” In the Australian media, he has detailed atrocious crimes from his personal experience, and Australian journalists and aid workers have compiled a shocking record.

The referendum has been delayed twice by the UN because of the terror, which has even targeted UN offices and UN convoys carrying sick people for treatment. Citing diplomatic, church, and militia sources, the Australian press reports “that hundreds of modern assault rifles, grenades, and mortars are being stockpiled, ready for use if the autonomy option is rejected at the ballot box,” and warns that the TNI-run militias may be planning a violent takeover of much of the territory if, despite the terror, the popular will is expressed.

Murphy and others report that TNI has been emboldened by the lack of interest in the West. “A senior US diplomat summarized the issue neatly: ‘East Timor is Australia’s Haiti'” — in other words, it’s not a problem for the United States, which helped create and sustain the humanitarian disaster in East Timor and could readily end it. (Those who know the truth about the United States in Haiti will fully appreciate the cynicism.)

Reporting on the terror from the scene, Nobel Laureate Bishop Carlos Ximenes Belo called for “an international military force” to protect the population from Indonesian terror and permit the referendum to proceed. Nothing doing. The “international community” — meaning Western powers — prefers that the Indonesian army provide “security.” A small number of unarmed UN monitors have been authorized — but subsequently delayed — by the Clinton administration.

The picture in the past few months is particularly ugly against the background of the self-righteous posturing in the “enlightened states.” But it simply illustrates, once again, what should be obvious: Nothing substantial has changed, either in the actions of the powerful or the performance of their flatterers. The Timorese are “unworthy victims.” No power interest is served by attending to their suffering or taking even simple steps to end it. Without a significant popular reaction, the long-familiar story will continue, in East Timor and throughout the world.

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