#these are outtakes from ages ago

[rainymoodlet]

— keep your money, you can take my time 🍒

[chocolatepot]

I had a realization the other day. Years ago, people in fandom with me used to say "no fic is ever truly IC because we are not the original writers." And that used to get a bit under my skin because I was a baby and I was like, I've read fic as good as canon, that feels like a real outtake or continuation from canon! This isn't true!

But now I am the middle-aged person, and I am the one who looks at fandom and says: every fic is OOC to some extent because we are not the OFMD writers' room. Okay, this fic is pushing too hard on one character as a woobie so another character can comfort them. This other fic is focusing on the humor and losing the characters' depth. And I just don't care anymore, and it's so awesome. If I like the fic I like it, and if it's not of interest to me I just don't read it. I am free.

[liminalmemories21]

Fuck It Friday

tagged by @jesuisici33.

Apparently I'm just using this tag as a way to post outtakes.

This is a deleted/rewritten from Knave 2 that eventually became "Then - 7 Months Ago (August)". The two bear almost no resemblance to each other, but it was the same idea of TK's past coming back to haunt him. Also, I'm still kind of playing around with the idea of what exactly Carlos's colleagues think of him, and more specifically him and TK.

“Am I a problem for you?”  TK asks suddenly.

And it feels like such a non sequitur that he’s lost.  “What?”

“At the station, am I a problem for you?”

“What did this guy say to you?”

TK shrugs, “Nothing that wasn’t true, and that’s fine when it’s me.  My sins, my penance.”

“How very Catholic of you,” Carlos says dryly, on autopilot, trying to find the plot thread to this conversation.

TK smiles briefly, but the smile drops away again almost instantly.  "The guy who taught me how to grift, he told me once that you have to get out of the game as soon as you have something you aren’t willing to lose."

And he’s not following, and feels stupid.  TK gives him an unhappy look.  “I thought I’d done it right.  I got clean.  I got out.  But it’s always going to follow me around, I just don’t want it to follow you around too.”

He reaches out, and then stops just shy of touching TK, not sure if he’s welcome.  “I think I’m going to need an actual verb at some point.”

“I’ve heard people talking, at the station, when I drop something off, or if I meet you there.”

“Who?” he asks sharply.  “Garvey?  Because Garvey’s a dick to everyone who isn’t a middle aged white guy.”

TK frowns, “No, not Garvey, although that kind of proves my point.”

“TK seriously, can you start at the beginning and just keep going until the end so I can figure out what the hell is going on?”

TK looks up, startled.  “Shit.  I’ve never actually seen you lose your patience.”  He glances at his watch.  “That took what, eight months?  That has to be a record for me.”

He gives in to exasperation and worry and tugs TK over to the couch and pulls him down.  “TK.”

TK’s smile is brief and humorless.  “Massey - the guy on the our Board - he said he’d been talking about the program over dinner, mentioned my name.  Next day his brother-in-law stopped by his office with a bunch of stories about me - true stories as it happens, although I’m not sure he cared a lot about asking that question.  He said he’d brought it up with Tanya who was,” he makes air quotes, “‘woefully naive’, so it was his responsibility as a Board member to keep an eye on me.”  He waves a hand, “which, whatever, as long as he doesn’t try and get me fired I don’t actually care.”

“But?”

TK blows out a breath, “But then he mentioned you.  Said he’d heard that we were involved.  Said that was the kind of thing that didn’t reflect well on young detective,” he scowls, “dude seriously talked like he was an 80 year old out of Dickens’ novel.”  He flicks a glance at Carlos.  “He said, it was the kind of thing that made people think twice about coming for backup.”

Carlos takes a steadying breath.  “Okay, sweetheart, this is what’s been tying you up in knots?”  TK nods, frowning.  “I’m gay, Tejano, and a legacy hire.  People thought twice about coming for backup a long time before I started dating you.”

TK flashes him a wry smile.  “You’re saying I should get over myself?”

He snorts, “I’m saying that I know who to trust and who not to, and none of that is a calculus that’s changed in the last eight months.  And, even if it had, I still wouldn’t give you up for it.”

“I can’t be the reason you get hurt,” TK says seriously.

“Off the top of my head I can think of five people at the station you might have overheard saying shitty things about me.  They’ve been saying them since I got there.  I worked hard for my job, and I earned it whatever anyone else might think.  And, I’m not giving it up because someone who's living in a fantasy of the 1950s doesn't want me there, and I'm sure as hell not giving you up for them."

“How do you go to work every day if you think that?”

He looks at TK with a straight face, “Well it helps that I’m 99.9% sure that I’m having much better sex than they are.”

TK gapes at him for a moment, and then shoves him, hard and he topples back into the sofa cushions laughing.  “This is your idea of being comforting?”

He straightens up, and reaches for TK’s hand with less hesitation this time.  “I think I can’t change anyone’s opinion by willing it, all I can do is live up to my own expectations for myself and hope that they can respect that.  Giving up someone I love, because someone tells me to, I couldn’t respect myself if I did that, so how can I ask someone else to respect me?”

TK looks at him seriously.  “I think you’re giving other people too much credit, but it’s working in my favor so I’m not gonna argue too hard.”

tagging anyone who has outtakes they want to share, because like anyone who grew up with DVD blooper reels, I love me an extra.

[procrastinatorproject]

I think I might have had a bit of a revalation this fine morning.

Last night, @horizonproblems and I attended this truly amazing talk in a public lecture series on Star Trek that my uni is hosting this term. (It was all about the Third Age of Star Trek and some very valid, nuanced perspectives on hope and optimism and writing utopias under neoliberal capitalism and it was just... amazing. But that's not the point right now XD)

Afterwards, we chatted with the presenter about "Trekademia" (I love that concept so much!). I mentioned I'd seen the call for papers/talks for this lecture series that went out over a year ago (I was working for the English dept. at the time), but I never applied, because the only remotely Trekademic writing I'd ever done was my in-universe essay on holo-sentience and holographic food "The Cake is a Lie". And he asked me to send him a link, even though I never managed to finish writing and it's essentially missing the most interesting section.

But I took the opportunity to reread what I have posted and then look through my WIPs and I realized something: One of the reasons I think I was never able to finish writing the findings section of this "paper" is because I had So Many Ideas that I wanted to weave in. So many little moments with the holos, so many character facets and worldbuilding snippets. And it doesn't work with the extremely academic tone I'm going for.

And after sleeping on it, it occurred to me: I can still post all the outtakes that don't make it into the actual paper! I can keep the tone and focus of that essay and cut out any extraneous bits that don't work in that fram -- and then post a separate work that's like... the researchers field notes or something, where I put aaaalll the little details that didn't make the cut of the official writing!

It will be in bullet points and disconnected and self-indulgent as all heck -- but I'm sure there will be at least a handful of people out there apart from me who would still enjoy that particular take on various holo-headcanons. And even if I'd only be writing it for me, that would still be allowed!

So, no promises that anything might happen, but I just wanted to put it out there as a reminder to myself, if nothing else. Being deeply attached to your ideas and self-indulgent bits of writing is allowed! And even if you need to cut them from the concrete story you're trying to tell because they hurt the pacing or structure or tone, that doesn't mean you have to completely abandon them. There are always ways to share your outtakes and additional notes, on AO3 or tumblr or Discord or whatever, and you're always allowed to share them. Even if nobody but yourself will get a kick out of them, you're still allowed!

(And chances are, somebody else will be interested in reading your rambling thoughts and delighted to find them, actually.)

[freeuselandonorris]

hi!! please feel free to ignore this if it's too personal/you're otherwise uncomfortable with answering it.

i remember you mentioning a while ago that you identified with aegosexuality for a good chunk of your 20s, and that eventually you found it didn't fit anymore and you now enjoy participating in sex.

the reason i'm asking is that i've never had sex (i'm 23) and i've been quite reclusive for the past ~5 years, so i can't imagine what sex would be like/what actually wanting it would feel like. currently, i find aegosexual is the label closest to describing my sexuality.

the actual question i have is, what changed/how did you know that you wanted to participate in sex?

again, please ignore this if you don't want to answer. i've never seen anyone else use that term to describe their sexuality, so i was just curious about your experience with it!

luv u <3

hi beautiful anon 💕 ty for asking and so kindly!

i touched briefly on this in a previous answer and mentioned that there wasn’t one like lightning bolt moment where i was like, you know what, i’m ready now!! it was far more gradual and there were a lot of different factors involved.

the main thing though, i would say, is that i stopped trying to force myself to have the kind of sex i thought i should have/thought i deserved. through my late teens and early twenties, my early sexual experiences were unfulfilling at best and actively traumatic at worst. looking back, even though i was extremely obsessed with the idea of sex and kink from a fairly young age, i wasn’t emotionally/mentally well enough to be having sex when i did (even though i started pretty late, all things considered). mostly i just wanted to seem cool and adult even though i wasn’t either of those things really.

sooo in other words, if i was going to boil it down to a single moment of feeling ready, or desiring to actually HAVE sex again rather than only being able to conceptualise it as something that didn’t involve me, it was at the point where i liked myself and understood myself enough to know what i wanted, and what i didn’t. for me that meant accepting that one night stands with strangers aren’t good for my mental health, embracing my queerness more, accepting that kink is a fundamental part of my sexual identity just as queerness is, and in the last few years exploring non-monogamy. that list will probably look totally different for you! but i would say that if you haven’t found anyone where you’re suddenly like, fuck yeah i wanna do it! and/or you don’t have those solid foundations of ‘this is what a good sex life would look like to me’, then maybe leave it a bit longer.

also, something that helped me gradually introduce myself to the idea of ‘real’ sex as opposed to fantasy sex (aka fic) is, weirdly enough, porn. good porn, not mainstream studio porn! i recommend four chambers which is beautiful, ethical artistic porn that has enough realism (bodily fluids and varied body types and giggly outtakes etc) that it helped me get used to the reality of sex at a distance. possibly a counterintuitive idea and may not work for everyone, but it helped me :) (eta: to clarify, when i say ‘work’/‘helped’, i don’t mean that the ace spectrum is something that needs to be cured!!)

hope this is at least a little bit helpful 💕

[ohnoitstbskyen]

So I'm thinking about doing Business

I'm going to experimentally pay for Tumblr's "Blaze" on one of my posts to see what the effect is, if any. I don't plan to use it often, but if I'm using this site as part of my silly little content creator job, maybe it makes sense to advertise some things?

I don't even know what it would make sense to use that feature on, either... posts with my official video releases? Stuff like that article I wrote about the experience of going viral? ... posts about my merch store? (oh god I don't want to advertise the merch store, I haven't added anything to it in ages).

Anyway, if you see one of my posts with a "promoted" tag on it, that's why. Just figuring out if that's something that should be part of my job on here. There are some extended personal reflections on using Tumblr for My Job™ below the cut.

On the other hand, Twitter was never that much of a Business Platform for me, either. That site and app is insanely bad at driving traffic anywhere else, which is part of why its ad revenue was so low depite the huge user base. Getting people to click away from Twitter to anywhere else is like pulling teeth, even for people with million dollar marketing budgets, and so I just... kinda never tried, really. Partly because it never seemed worth the work, partly because it was my personal Twitter before it accidentally became my Business Twitter.

Tumblr in that regard is different though. Four years ago, someone posted an outtake from a shitpost video I did laughing myself half to death over an article about how millennials are killing mayonnaise. That outtake went some degree viral on Tumblr, and that virality did prompt a lot of people to go find the full video on YouTube, making it briefly the most successful video on my whole channel.

So I dunno. Maybe it makes sense to use Tumblr for Business™ in that way. Not that I think I can manufacture a viral hit, of course, but maybe paying to have my work shown to more people on here could be worth it? I guess I'll find out once that Blaze goes through the moderation.

It sorta ties in with a broader pre-post-Twitter reflection I've been having about how I use social media, though.

I don't want to be my job

My personal twitter became my business twitter entirely by accident, and while it was fun at first to have thousands of followers on my personal shitposting, it wasn't fun at all in the long run. At a certain point, usually somewhere past the 10k follower boundary (or if you had the misfortune of having a pre-Elon checkmark), people stop treating you like a person or a fellow poster, and start treating you like a brand, a celebrity (however minor), like a Public Figure. And on the one hand that's good, kinda, because if you have a larger platform, you do deserve more scrutiny. On the other hand, it means you can't be a person on your own social media.

Dark humor, in-jokes, dumb shitposts with friends, dunking on some random hot take, all of that starts to come with the danger that some stranger, who is determined to misunderstand what you post in the absolute worst possible faith, will see it and start yelling about it.

And if, as a person who has a bigger platform, you yell back at them, or dunk on their bullshit... yeah, there's a real risk that you're the one being the bigger asshole, actually. When you have a big Twitter audience, you have some responsibilty for what happens to the things you put in front of that audience. And if you have fans, they might want to defend you, and if you have a lot of fans, some percentage of them aren't going to know how to act or where the line is, and go way the fuck too far.

It's the reality of having a public profile. People will come at you in absolutely wild ways, accusing you of saying absolutely insane things that they have derived from truly deranged (often willful) misinterpretations, and you can't respond to that like a person responds, or you run the risk of being the one who does more harm.

And so you can't be a person on your social media anymore. You now have to be a Public Figure, and if you don't figure that out you're gonna get in trouble. I should have made a private friends-only account on Twitter far, far earlier than I did, I should have made an official brand account far, far earlier than I did. But the only way to know that is in hindsight.

... which leads me back to Tumblr. I've been thinking about Doing Business™ on Tumblr - Blazing my posts, doing SEO, promoting my brand and all that other shit that technically comes with the job I ostensibly have.

I fled back here when I saw Twitter start to torch itself, because I need to post somewhere, but do I need to post for myself, as a person?

Or do I need to post because I am TBSkyen the YouTuber and posting is part of my job, my brand and my online personality which I crafted as a layer of separation between myself and the audience but which has at this point become so entangled with my real self that I don't know the boundaries between them anymore?

Am I going to look back on this and realize, as I did on Twitter, that I should have made a private, friends-only Tumblr account right from the start, and not mixed the personal with the professional and with Posting? I have around 2000 followers right now and this is still fun and casual, but what happens if I manage to luck myself into a real following again? When am I going to dunk on something I think is dumb and cause the person who posted it to receive actionable threats because someone who likes my videos doesn't know how the fuck to act?

Anyway, this is the kind of shit that gets powerblasted through my brain when I pay $10 to make some more people see one of my posts on a website - how's your morning going?

[chernobog13]

Jackie Chan as Wong Fei-hung in Drunken Master ll (1994), arguably the greatest Jackie Chan movie ever.

Produced 16 years after the original Drunken Master, this film has a much bigger budget and scope than the original.  Wong Wei-hung is still a youngster this time around, still mischievous and prone to getting into trouble, not yet the sage physician and legendary hero he would become in adulthood.   He lives with his father, the legendary Wong Lei-ying, one of the Ten Tigers of Canton, and his father’s new wife, Ling.

Jackie, although playing someone in his late teens/early 20s, was pushing 40 when he made this film.  Legendary Hong Kong actor Ti Lung, who plays Wong Lei-ying, was 48.  There were some playful remarks in the press about the two men being similar in age, but Jackie’s impishness and Ti Lung’s sternness sold the father and son relationship.

Hong Kong Cantopop star Anita Mui, known as “the Madonna of the East” played Ling.  However, unlike the Madonna of the West, Anita Mui could act and  had quite the film career.  She starred in dramas, romances, fantasies, and action flicks before her life was tragically cut short by cancer.  This time around, she brings her comedy chops, which were formidable, and pretty much steals every scene she’s in.  It also helps that she’s gorgeous as well.

The film was originally directed by legendary Hong Kong actor and director Lau Kan-leung.  However, disagreements between him and Jackie, particularly over the style of fighting (Lau wanted more traditional kung fu style , and Jackie wanted to....well, Jackie’s style), lead to Lau leaving the project and Jackie taking over as director.  Most sources, however, do cite Lau as the sole director.

There are numerous fight scenes and action sequences that just get grander and grander as the film progresses.  The first fight is between Jackie’s Fei-hung and Lau’s Fu Wen-chi, fought partially underneath a train, that illustrates Old School kung fu film fighting meeting New School, and it is a joy to behold.

Then there is a fight in a two-storey restaurant, with Fei-hung and Wen-chi taking on dozens (it seems like hundreds!) of axe-wielding assailants!  And we’re only twenty minutes into the film!!!!!!

But the absolute icing on the cake, the fight scene that is rightfully held up as the greatest ever filmed, is the 20+ minute final battle in a steel foundry between Wong Wei-hung and the two main bad guys.  This battle took several MONTHS (some sources say as many as six) to film, and it is well worth it.  I have watched it over a dozen times, and it leaves me feeling physically exhausted every time.

If you’re a Jackie Chan fan, a martial arts enthusiast, or just love a fun, rousing, entertaining film, you need to seek this film out!  Warner Archive released a version two years ago, which is your absolute best bet for viewing.

Avoid the Dimension Films release The Legend of the Drunken Master (2000).  It has bad dubbing (although Jackie did dub himself), the music has been changed, and many of the sound effects - especially in the fights - have been changed.  It also cuts the final 30-40 seconds of the film, because the original version is considered politically incorrect (Wong Wei-hung is temporarily brain damaged from drinking industrial/wood alcohol, and Jackie clowns around playing it for laughs).

And whatever you do, don’t turn the film off while the end credits run.  That’s when many of the outtakes are featured, and you get a glimpse of just how brutal that final fight really was!

[womaninwinter]

Writer identity game: If someone is completely new to your writing, which 3 fics would you recommend they read? List the fics with a one-line summary. Then, tag 3 of your writer friends to do the same.

Tagged ages ago by @dangerously-human (thanks bestie) and as predicted, I forgot about this.

From the Cutting Room Floor: Some outtakes from Lucy's memoirs reveal that she and Lockwood had a secret physical relationship between The Whispering Skull and The Hollow Boy, each assuming that the other didn't want anything deeper (idiots).

Gutted: During the Black Winter, Lockwood is badly injured on a case, and Lucy tries to support him as he recovers.

A Time to Every Purpose: After defeating Marissa Fittes, it would be trivial for Lockwood to get excited about having a gallery in the National Archive named after him – but on the other hand, where's the harm in enjoying trivial things?

tagging @itripandfallalot @polithicc and @cats-and-metersticks

[azems-familiar]

20 questions for fic writers

i was tagged by @voidcat-senket thank you!!

1. How many works do you have on AO3?

119!

2. What's your total AO3 word count?

alright, this is excluding an approximately 470k-word series i orphaned years ago - 2,453,282

3. What fandoms do you write for?

it depends where the hyperfixation takes me, but it's usually going to be mostly star wars; era varies. right now, i'm actively posting for the Jedi: series games, but i also write for the kotor/swtor eras, and i did tcw fic back in the day. other fandoms i've written/posted for are doctor who, mdzs, and i poke at writing things for mass effect and dragon age from time to time, though i've never posted any of those. i've got a couple other fandoms i've dipped into for the purpose of fusions.

4. What are your top five fics by kudos?

oh boy. all of these are from like, 2019-2020 at LATEST, there's one on here that's from late 2017, but i wrote for a bigger fandom then and none of my good recent stuff will ever take over these spots because it's for smaller fandoms. alas. please do not take any of these as representative of my current fanon opinions XD

do you love me - this one is never leaving that spot. codywan arranged marriage fic from 2019 that is still very popular. i don't like a lot of the fanon tropes and things we used in that fic these days, but it's one of the longest finished fics i have and i can admit the plot was pretty well done. has 3394 kudos. (that's more than i remember.)

tell the world (i'm coming home) - the one where Vader defects during the events of Twilight of the Apprentice. mostly gen. has 2139 kudos

something inside this heart has died (you're in ruins) - codywan fic where Cody is in Kadavo. has the same issues as do you love me, but definitely has some of the best prose that i'd written at the time in it. has 1752 kudos

follow me (and i will bring you home) - i am not linking this one. a reylo fic i wrote back when tlj first dropped, very old and not among my better works whatsoever, but got popular at the time for being a big ship and posting shortly after a new movie. has 1497 kudos

i just wanna keep calling your name (until you come back home) - post-Order 66 codywan dreamsharing fic that i wrote for an exchange back in 2020. it has 1072 kudos

5. Do you respond to comments? Why or why not?

i used to, and i try to get to them on my smaller fics/fandoms these days, but back when i was writing big tcw fics i got in the habit of not doing it because there were so many it was hard to keep up with, so it's a mixed bag of if i do or not these days. but i see all of them, and they all bring me joy. well, most of them. the ones that don't aren't worth mentioning

6. What is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

mmmmm that's a hard one. i tend to prefer angst with a happy ending, or at least a hopeful ending, but back in, idk, 2017? i wrote a rogue one fic based off the song whiskey lullaby that was.... pretty grim, lol.

7. What's the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

lord i have no idea. probably the series i mentioned above that was orphaned? it had a sickeningly sweet ending involving a wedding and a kid for the main pairing, and happy endings for basically every other ship involved.

8. Do you get hate on fic?

sometimes. not often, thankfully, and usually not on AO3 itself, but back in my ffn days i got some, i've gotten a few assholes about stuff before also, and people will sometimes come at me here, but yknow, whatever. i'm used to it by now and i mostly just laugh it off and either ignore it or you get a snarky response

9. Do you write smut?

.....rarely? sometimes? i used to have a hard no policy on it, but i was also raised evangelical with a biiiig taboo on that kind of shit, so i've been slowly working through that and trying to get outside my comfort zone on it for years. i've written a couple smutty things that aren't on AO3, one that is, and i'll be involved in writing smut outtakes for one of my currently-posting series, but i don't tend to enjoy straight up pwp so it'll usually have a character reason for it, or plot. usually.

10. Do you write crossovers?

i do not write crossovers. i do deeply enjoy writing fusions (taking the characters from one franchise and dumping them into the world/plot of the other, but they've always been there). i have a clone wars hunger games au that is still my little baby and a kotor/swtor hp au that is my OTHER baby because it has involved years of work to make the hp universe....functional and not shitty and whatnot.

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen?

not to my knowledge, though i've seen a few fics that made me squint suspiciously at them. it's definitely possible that something's been put on wattpad or something without me being made aware, but i don't actively look.

12. Have you ever had a fic translated?

yes! the very lovely @anayaghmeya has translated all of my mdzs fics into russian. none of my star wars fics have been, to my knowledge, but i do have an open permissions statement for that sort of thing, so one day it might happen

13. Have you ever cowritten a fic before?

oh yeah, many times. my old tcw fics were cowritten with @thelavenderhimbo; i write a lot of tor era stuff with @ipreferfiction (hiiii beloved) and a little with @sith-shenanigans though none of those have been posted anywhere yet; i'm writing a spyscrapper fic with @dream-of-tanalorr right now, and senket and i are technically cowriting by virtue of posting an RP we're doing to AO3. i like cowriting; when the vibes are good, it works much better for me than doing stuff on my own. i've had it go very badly in the past, but for the most part it tends to work out well

14. What's your all-time favorite ship?

i absolutely will not pick one. that being said, the only reason i found my way to fandom at all is Doctor/Rose from Doctor Who, so i feel like i owe them a shout-out for this, lol

15. What's a WIP you want to finish but probably won't?

oh, man, so many things. i really want to eventually finish all my tor-era novelization projects, but realistically those are such huge projects that with the ~mental illness~ it's gonna take a long-ass time if i ever do

16. What are your writing strengths?

these two questions are SUPER hard for me to answer because i deeply struggle with being objective about my own writing. i enjoy writing politics and political intrigue; i'm not so sure if i'm good at it, but i like it. i've been yelled at and informed i need to put "worldbuilding" and "getting deeply into characters' heads" in here as well, so i'm adding it. i like dialogue as well, i find it easier to write than other things, so that's going in here too.

17. What are your writing weaknesses?

apparently. lol. ANYWAY i do tend to struggle with combat - sometimes i can really hit it well when it's a strong emotional beat, but writing action scenes that aren't really important for characterization is soooo hard for me i hate it. also, coming up with subplots.

18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language in fics?

it.... depends. i used to overuse it, now i rarely do; generally speaking, if it's another language entirely that the POV character understands i'll shift it to italics or some other way of conveying that, if it's one or two words scattered in the meaning should be understandable via context and i'll provide translations at the end. i only rarely use non-English words if the character can't understand what's being said.

19. First fandom that you wrote for?

the first fandom i posted fic for was Doctor Who. back when i was a kid and didn't know what fandom was or what fanfic was, i wrote a few paragraphs of a story set in the Eragon universe, lol

20. Favorite fic you've written?

i've got a couple i want to put shout outs to in here. war has let this age begin (it's where we've gone and where they've been) is my dramatization of my Revan's Mandalorian Wars and i'm still really proud of it after 2 years; it was the first solo-written longfic i'd finished in quite a while, and i'm very attached to my Revan and everything i did with it. i really like this mdzs fic, he said, son, can you play me a memory that i wrote last year. and of course in terms of recent stuff: i HAVE to mention do you taste my pain in this bloodstained place for the amount of worldbuilding and plotting davi and i have done on it - it's the spyscrapper Bad Ending villain pov fic that breaks off from canon partway through Jedi: Survivor.

tags: @thelavenderhimbo @ipreferfiction @dream-of-tanalorr @darthsassacre @prowlingthunder and anyone else who wants to do this, feel free to use this as a tag! (io, i tagged you above for things, if you want to do it you Can but i know you don't usually do tag games so i'm not tagging you down here)

[earthsparky]

Season 1 Plot Leak

So, clearly I'm late with this and this was released a while ago, but I wanted to post it anyway for anyone who hadn't seen it.

Please note that this post contains SPOILERS FOR THE ENTIRE FIRST SEASON! If you don't want that, please don't read the rest!

If you're okay with it, read on!

These were transcribed from this video by Axiom Nexus. I'm not affiliated with the channel, but I encourage readers to follow them for more updates. You can also view the video below, but if you appreciate it, I still encourage you to drop by the actual video link and leave a like!

The transcribed summaries of all 26 episodes of season 1 are as follows:

Episode 101-102: Secret Legacy - ROBBY, reeling from his family’s move from Philly to the rural town of Witwicky, finds new joy and purpose when he and his sister MO bond with the first-ever Earth-born transformers: the TERRANS, TWITCH and THRASH. Tied emotionally to their human siblings by emotionsharing cyber-sleeves, the Terrans quickly become the target for the cyber-human villain MANDROID. It’ll take OPTIMUS and his AUTOBOTS along with RANGER DOT and DR. MALTO to save the kids and Terrans, all while keeping their existence and adoption a secret to prowling DECEPTICONS and the mysterious agency of GHOST. 

Episode 103: Moo-ving In - As the Malto family gets used to its new members, Bumblebee hopes to quickly knock out his mission to train the Terrans in all things Autobot. But he’s flummoxed when they seem more interested in cows and games than the wisdom he has to impart; maybe all parties could do a little more listening. 

Episode 104: H.O.U.S.E. Rules - Thrash chafes at the “restrictive” Malto family H.O.U.S.E. rules, and he convinces Mo to go along with his loopholes around them. But when the Decepticon Swindle does some exploiting of his own to convince Thrash and Mo to help find his missing brother, they soon find themselves playing by a far more dangerous set of rules. 

Episode 105: Classified - Special Agent Schloder is in pursuit of a Decepticon that targets kids (really a misidentification of Twitch and Robby). Meanwhile, Dot is put through GHOST orientation, where she learns that GHOST’s intentions might not be completely above board. 

Episode 106: Traditions - Robby begs off Alex’s traditional wakwak hunt, so Alex shares his family history with Bumblebee, while Twitch, eager to gain her own traditions, encounters her “Dad2”—Wheeljack. 

Episode 107: Friends and Family - The Terrans’ erratic behavior may be reflecting Mo and Robby’s anxiety about their first day at their new school. Or it could be something far worse…

Episode 108: Decoy - While out on a mission to capture three tricky tuneful Mini-Cassette bots, Megatron and Optimus Prime have a disagreement about GHOST’s treatment of Decepticons. 

Episodes 109-110: Age of Evolution - Twitch and Thrash wonder if they’re the only two Terrans in the universe, and they venture to discover if that’s true. With the help of Optimus, Bumblebee, Alex, Robby, and Mo, they relocate the cave of their origin and find much more than just the Emberstone. With the birth of three new Terrans (Hashtag, Nightshade, and Jawbreaker), the Malto family has grown. But will these new Allie’s be enough to rescue Dot and Megatron from the clutches of Mandroid?

Episode 111: Hashtag Oops - Twitch helps Hashtag choose her alt-mode, and it takes them both for a wild and GHOST-ly ride. Meanwhile, Alex and Bee struggle to hold down the fort with the new Terrans when Dot has to leave for work and the kids go to school. 

Episode 112: Outtakes - Jawbreaker is feeling nervous about his alt-mode. How does he choose the right one? A conversation with Mom gives him an idea: use a camera to inspire bots into telling him why they chose theirs! But when Hashtag gets involved, the scale of the project gets a little out of hand. 

Episode 113: Missed Connection - When Nightshade’s feeling isolated from the rest of the Malto family, they find a new connection in the most unlikely of places…

Episode 114: Security Protocols - When Mo, Robby, and their Terran siblings are locked down in the Dugout, there’s no way to avoid longsimmering conflict. 

Episode 115: Bear Necessities - When Twitch gifts Dot a baby bear cub for Mother’s Day, the two of them and Robby embark on a journey to return the baby to its own mom…who, unbeknownst to them, is tussling with the rest of the Maltos at the homestead!

Episode 116: Warzone - Robby and Mo join the Terrans on a visit to the Space Bridge Memorial Park, but the memory of the siege opens old wounds…and more…for Megatron. 

Episode 117-118: Home - The kids and Terrans sneak out for a night of fun in Philadelphia, but their dreams of visiting the big city transform into a nightmare. 

Episode 119: A Stygi Situation - Jawbreaker gains a dinosaur alt-mode, but instead of changing into it, the alt-mode changes him. 

Episode 120: Disarmed - As Mandroid secretly works inside GHOST, Robby, Mo, and the Terrans attempt to force new cyber-sleeve powers to unlock, with disastrous results. 

Episode 121: What Dwells Within - The Malto kids are lost in a maze of underground tunnels with a mysterious monster stalking them. In order to survive they have to team up with Starscream! But can they trust him?

Episode 122: Prime Directive (or Once Upon a Prime) - Robby’s cyber-sleeve illness threatens his life, so Mo renounces ever touching the Emberstone and Quintus Prime shows Mo why she’s the hero her family needs. 

Episode 123: Stowed Away, Stowaway - When Bumblebee is called away on a secret spy mission, Robby, Twitch, Thrash, and the others decide to go on their own secret mission to protect Bee. 

Episode 124: The Battle of Witwicky - The truth about the Terrans is revealed as the Malto family makes a last stand against Croft and her sinister forces within GHOST. 

Episode 125-126: Last Hope - The Malto family must overcome insurmountable odds to stop Mandroid once and for all, and save Cybertronian kind. 

[corbenic]

For @pinkstarsdress

This is the fourth part of the follow-up to the Princess Imperial deleted scene “Garden Proposal.” A full list of shared outtakes can be found here.

Note: this outtake mentions that one of Evie's relatives recently received a terminal cancer diagnosis. It’s a topic I’m sensitive about after a close friend of mine died of stomach cancer, and I’ve been careful to write a story that doesn’t prick my cancer triggers—but please read with caution if cancer is a difficult subject for you

GARDEN PROPOSAL: AFTERMATH (PART FOUR)

Word Count: 3,000

Summary: Evie O'Brien and her boyfriend-slash-maybe-fiancé, The Prince Imperial, get chewed out for every stupid thing they've done over the past few days (spoiler: it's a lot). Evie is recognized in the airport.

Written: autumn 2022

Context: an early chapter three draft of my novel The Bonaparte Bride before I decided to publish it as Princess Imperial the website

Deviations from canon: the timeline (Julien proposes in October 2023 rather than March 2023), character ages and birth order, the size and composition of Julien's staff, Fiona is getting married

“Evie!” The photographers shout over each other. “Prince Julien!”

I tighten my grip on Julien’s hand. Spots swim over my vision.

Vincent curses under his breath.

The clicking of cameras and flashes of white are nonstop. Next to me, Julien steps forward, tugging my hand to usher me along.

Right. The walk from the building to our waiting car isn’t long. Besides, we can’t go back inside and find another exit. There are probably paparazzi waiting for us outside every door. The only way out is through the deluge of light.

“Feeling better, Evie?” one of the photographers to my right calls out.

I don’t turn to look. If I acknowledge them, I’ll look directly at their camera, and the photo will sell for more money. These folks have families to feed and bills to pay, so I can’t fault them for trying to maximize the value of their shots. However, if I look their way, I’ll gain a reputation of being willing to play to the cameras. I made that mistake once, a year ago. I’m not doing it again.

“How was the show?” another one asks.

“More importantly,” a loud voice says, “how was the intermission?”

Sniggers rise up around us. I resist the urge to check if my dress has hiked up. Reacting now will only encourage rumors—and I really don’t need gossip about a quick shag at the theater attached to my name. Besides, it’s not as though I could see anything. My world has narrowed to rainbowy blurs, the warmth of Julien’s hand in mine, the bite of frosty air on my skin, a light breeze brushing snowflakes against my face, the endless bursts of light.

I keep walking. Vincent will make sure our path is clear. Just get to the car, and it’ll be over.

“Hey, Evie,” a man standing to my left hollers. I recognize his voice. He’s one of my regular paps. Monday morning, he’ll be waiting outside either my apartment or the Drouot office, camera in hand. “My mama always said not to put out before a proposal. You should keep that in mind.”

The pack of photographers dissolves into laughter. I focus on breathing through my nose. Inhale while counting to three. Exhale while counting to three. Repeat.

I can’t react. I won’t. If I do, the photos are worth more. If I do, they’ll never leave me alone.

“Better lock her down if she’s that good, Highness.”

Their laughter is like the bark of a hyena.

“Almost there,” Vincent says, right as my vision begins to clear. I barely hear him over the jeers and the chorus of Evie, Evie, Evie.

Across the street, people have stopped to gawk. There are about a dozen of them. Every single one has their phone aimed in our direction. It’s impossible to tell if they’re taking photos or videos, just that they haven’t turned on the flash.

I can see our car. It’s a black Peugeot SUV, nothing flashy. You would never guess it’s bulletproof if you walked by it on the street. An imperial guard opens the backseat door for us. I think this one is Philippe, who was top of his military academy class. He graduated in the summer. Vincent handpicked him for Julien’s team. Based on the ghostly shade of his face, I think the new guy might be reconsidering the honor of serving The Prince Imperial.

I clamber into the car, quickly followed by Julien. The door closes. We buckle up. Vincent barks instructions to the other guard before getting into the driver’s seat. The new guy settles into the passenger seat.

As we pull away, the new guard asks, “Is it always like this?”

“No,” Julien says at the same time as I say, “Yes.”

“I’ve been getting a lot of questions about the rumors that Prince Julien is going to marry Evie O’Brien. They’ve been together long enough that I’m sure they’re thinking about it. I hope he doesn’t marry her, though. She’s a snake who throws a tantrum when things don’t go her way.

Just look at the twins’ birthday party for proof! Evie was photographed leaving in a rush. A few hours later, an unnamed source with palace ties (probably Julien’s go-to, Hugo Masséna) said she was sick. This is an obvious lie.

Look at the photos of Julien’s ex-girlfriend, Véronique Mortier, about to burst into tears while chatting with her. Empress Christine was pictured glaring at Evie, too. No doubt the American tried controlling the party like she controls the prince. When it didn’t work, she ran away. It was the only way she could steal the spotlight.

But there had to be a reason why she left, something sympathetic that wouldn’t raise eyebrows. She decided to fake being sick. As always, she did a half-assed job. Last night, she and Julien were spotted at the Opéra Garnier—less than 24 hours after she fled the party. Nobody gets over an illness, even something as small as a stomach bug, that quickly.

Evie is desperate to marry the prince. She’s leaking engagement stories to the press in the hopes they’ll stick. I expect the Emperor will intervene before there’s a ring. There’s no way he’ll let a social-climbing diva marry his heir.”

—“Is Prince Julien Engaged to Evie O’Brien?” on Crowns and Gowns, October 22

TUILERIES PALACE

PARIS, ÎLE DE FRANCE, FRANCE

OCTOBER 22

“Why on earth did you go out last night?” Stéphanie Trang glowers at us. Her black hair is pulled into a severe bun at the back of her head. Her outfit is similarly no-nonsense: white silk blouse, black slacks, pearl earrings. The lapis lazuli pendant around her neck is the only hint of color. Her arms are folded across her chest.

She’s seated at the end of a large oak table. It’s covered in papers. I spy newspaper clippings, a couple magazine spreads, and an awful lot of blog posts.

Hugo sits between Julien and his PR specialist, doubling as a buffer between them. I’m seated next to Julien. This is the first time I’ve met Marcel, the head of palace PR. He sits to my right. Empress Christine sits to his right, followed by Emperor Louis-Napoleon, and then the Emperor’s private secretary, Brigitte.

This is a group designed to tell Julien and me all the ways we’ve fucked up over the past three days. We’re an hour in, and have just now finished hashing out the problems with me leaving the birthday party early.

“Evie being sick was the perfect cover story, and you ruined it,” Stéphanie continues. “Now everyone is wondering what actually happened.”

I sip my tea. Françoise was in the kitchen when I woke up, and insisted I try the lemon and ginger blend. It’s disgusting. Too much ginger. However, it’s a good opportunity to practice keeping my composure. If I can get through this meeting without revealing I hate it, I can do the same at a public event, like a banquet.

“This cannot happen again. If you two are serious about getting married—and I know you are—you have to stick to the narrative we spin, regardless of how inconvenient it is.”

Next to me, Julien doodles beetles. Half the page is already filled with them. There are a few notes, too, mostly small things like Refrain from asking about family members in public and Make sure Evie’s lipstick is blotted down before kissing her.

“Would planting a story about Madame O’Brien’s cancer help?” The Empress asks. Today, her white-blond hair hangs loose. It is perfectly straight. She’s paired emerald earrings with her blush pink caftan.

I immediately say, “No.”

Stéphanie considers for a long moment. “It’s not a bad idea. The story humanizes Evie, makes it much harder to criticize the marriage, and provides a lead-in for charity work.”

Julien writes Research cancer charities on his notepad, then adds Chat with scientists about recent breakthroughs and cures? Discuss with Stéphanie and Hugo.

Marcel taps his pen against the edge of the table. His thinning gray hair is swept into a combover. He’s dressed like every man who works for the imperial family: blue suit, pressed shirt, necktie, wristwatch. The one exception is his lapel pin. It’s a tiny golden eagle. Supposedly it was a gift from one of the Prime Ministers he worked for. Marcel spent twenty years steering Prime Ministers through PR crises before joining the imperial staff. He’s served the Emperor for fifteen years. He’s the second most feared person in the palace, after Countess Mimerel.

“I like it,” he says. “It makes the romance more compelling. Also, we can preemptively cover any gaffes by saying Evie is taking the job sooner than planned.”

Julien jots down Recycle my recent “settling into the job” PR push for Evie.

“No,” I repeat, louder. “My mother is a private citizen. I am not going to sell her to the press vultures to make myself look good.”

Marcel takes a swig of coffee before saying, “We are trying to convince the world to accept a middle-class American as crown princess. If we had two more years, sure, we could leave the family out of it. Without that time, cancer is our best angle.”

“We’ll be fine without bringing Shannon’s health into this,” Julien says. “Everyone hates an imperial girlfriend and loves an imperial bride. We’ll organically build goodwill by doing the job.”

The Emperor scrubs a hand over his face. “Evie’s popularity is not the problem. We’re worried about our overall stability. Algeria will vote whether or not to remove us as head of state in their next election. The Senegambian president asked the Prime Minister about the possibility of reparations for colonial occupation at the Outre-mer Heads of Government Meeting last week.”

“Senegambia wants reparations?” Julien echoes, scrawling the exact same thing on his paper. “You could have mentioned that earlier.”

“You were in Tahiti.”

“I’ve been back for five days.”

“Senegambia,” Marcel says, “is a symptom of a larger problem. The monarchy is seen as out of touch and insensitive to human suffering. Madame O’Brien’s condition deflects these accusations.”

Stéphanie adds, “Not even the most jaded republican can criticize the Prince Imperial for marrying his beloved before her mother’s inevitable death.”

The Empress nods emphatically. “We need this wedding to renew faith in the monarchy. What could be more beautiful than two people pledging their love in the face of immense personal loss?”

“Isn’t love enough?” I say.

All eyes turn to me.

“I wanted to marry Julien in another year or two, because I love him and I was ready. Not because my mom is dying. There has to be another angle.” My voice quavers, but I don’t stop talking. “I’m the one marrying into this family. I’m the one giving up my career and my homeland. Use that. Not her.”

Julien sets down his pen. “We could emphasize that Evie will be eligible to apply for citizenship in July.”

Stéphanie tilts her head to one side while writing something in her notebook. “You raise a good point. The public will appreciate Evie earning citizenship on her own merits rather than because of your marriage.”

Julien looks to me. I nod, so he keeps going. “Look at the Princess of Wales and Duke of Albany. Their wedding didn’t have a tragic undertone, and the public can’t get enough of them.”

“England will never get rid of its kings,” Marcel says. “They don’t have a system of government without them. Do not forget that France has overthrown three kings and one emperor, or that the 1967 coup d’état almost succeeded.”

I sip my terrible tea. Marcel and the Emperor may remember the 1967 coup. I only know about it thanks to history classes. The Prime Minister tried to resurrect the French Republic and install himself as President. He held the title for approximately six hours before being fatally shot by a gendarme.

That gendarme, incidentally, went on to have an illustrious military career. He’s now one of the Marshals of France. I met him at the twins’ birthday party.

“That was over fifty years ago. Things are different now,” Julien says. “And I still don’t see how using Shannon for our own gain will stabilize the institution.”

“All is fair in love and war. This is both.” The Empress looks to Stéphanie. “I want an outline of what we’re leaking and to whom on my desk by the end of the week.”

“Consider it done, Your Majesty.”

“Hugo.”

Hugo glances up. He’s filled an entire page with his small, cramped handwriting.

“Figure out possible dates for the announcement, the engagement party, and the wedding.”

Hugo pulls out his work phone and starts scrolling through something. “Brigitte, can you send me—”

“On it.” The Emperor’s private secretary is a tiny woman, not even five feet tall. She’s worked for the Emperor for six years. I’ve admired her style from afar for as long as I’ve known Julien. Today, she wears a navy blue wrap dress and multiple gold necklaces.

“No.” I set my teacup down so hard that it cracks. “We are not selling out my mother. And it’s too soon to choose a wedding day. We’re not even engaged yet.”

Marcel asks, “What are you talking about? You and the prince have come to an agreement on the matter. Of course you’re engaged.”

“Not officially engaged,” Julien clarifies. “Haven’t done the Hollywood proposal yet.”

Hugo grimaces. “Don’t be a basic white American girl, Evie.”

Julien says, “We can figure out dates, though. We have, what, nine months at most to get this done?”

“More like seven,” Stéphanie says.

I sigh. I will have to pick the wedding day fight later. “My mother is off-limits. No leaking or planting or briefing or anything without her permission.”

“I could call,” Hugo offers.

The words are barely out of his mouth when I spit, “No. I’ll talk to her about it when I’m in Chicago. If she’s fine with it, I will let you know. But there will be no movement on this until after Christmas.” I look Stéphanie in the eyes. “Understood?”

She nods, once, jerkily.

And with that, everyone decides the meeting is over.

I drink the last of my tea while Julien and Hugo tuck away their pens and notepads.

“I think that went well,” Julien says after his parents, their entourage, and Stéphanie have left the room, leaving us with Hugo.

“Except for the part where I thought you were going to rip my balls off,” Hugo adds. “Where did that come from?”

“My family stays out of this.”

“I know that. Allow me to rephrase the question. Who replaced Evie with a clone of Empress Christine, and why?”

Julien snorts. “Please. Evie is nothing like my mother.”

“You say that because you trust they’ll never flay the skin from your bones.”

I exchange a look with Julien. His mouth quirks. Guess he’s into the idea of me with a whip.

“Get your brains out of the gutter. You are not allowed any kinky thoughts until after the hubbub from last night has worn down.”

“We didn’t—” I start to say.

“I know that. Who has sushi before sex? Especially a quickie? At the Opéra Garnier, of all places?”

I consider pointing out the long history of ballerinas becoming mistresses of powerful men. Our kiss is probably one of the least steamy things to have happened in that hallway. Instead, I mutter, “Now I want to.”

Julien chokes on a laugh.

Hugo looks up at the ceiling, pointedly ignoring us, and says, “I am not paid nearly enough for this.”

“I hear your end of year review is coming up,” I say. “You should take it up with your boss.”

“You know what, Evie? That’s a great idea. I think I will.”

NAPOLEON IV AIRPORT

PARIS, ÎLE DE FRANCE, FRANCE

OCTOBER 23

I arrive at the airport early the next morning. Fiona flew to Greece last night. So did Jo and Alexandrine. Fiona keeps texting me as the others arrive. Sounds like I’m the only one left.

Between texts, I am rereading The Odyssey. Er, trying to. Five seats away, a gaggle of college-aged young women chat loudly amongst themselves.

“Oh my God, isn’t that Evie O’Brien? Prince Julien’s girlfriend?”

“What’s she doing here?”

“That can’t be her. She’s not pretty enough.”

I glance up. One of them is taking pictures of me. I’ll probably be going viral on Quickpic within the hour.

Around us, other people have noticed the college kids and are looking curiously in my direction. They’re probably trying to figure out why I’m famous enough to be photographed at the airport terminal.

“I hear she’s secretly engaged to the prince.”

“Ask her. I dare you.”

“You do it!”

They argue back and forth about this for an entire minute. I keep reading, stopping only to text Julien a question.

Lunete: Does the Greek text of the Odyssey really say ‘wine dark sea,’ or is that a King James Bible situation where one translator took some creative license but it’s such a good line that everyone else keeps using it?

Twenty years ago, Julien’s parents’ phones were hacked by a reporter. Transcripts of their voice mails were published in multiple tabloids. As a security measure, the imperial family and their friends aren’t allowed to use real names for their contacts anymore. Instead, we all create codenames for each other.

I happen to know that Julien is “Gauvain” in my phone, “Montaigne” in his own, “Pomme de Terre” in Hugo’s, “Gris” in Jo’s, and “Saxophone” in Alexandrine’s.

Gauvain: The ancient Greeks didn’t have a word for blue, so Homer really did describe it that way.

Gauvain: Did Fiona decide to go to Ithaca after all?

Before I can respond, one of the college kids approaches me. She’s short, with long dark hair. Her bangs are curled just enough to keep them out of her eyes.

“Excuse me,” she says. “Are you… You look like her so I’m just wondering if you might be—”

“Evie O’Brien?” I ask.

She nods.

“I hear that a lot.”

Recognition flares in her eyes. “Can we take a selfie?”

“No.”

She fumbles in her purse for a pen. “Could you sign—”

“Also no.”

[tellthemeerkatsitsfine]

I downloaded this thing ages ago as part of a larger pack of Taskmaster extras, I watched all the other extras in the package (mostly outtakes and interviews), watched the first few minutes of this, and then didn't bother finishing it because I didn't really want to watch corporate executives do anything. It's from the Edinburgh TV Festival in 2016, when they got TV commissioners from five different stations to play a one-off episode of Taskmaster. I then forgot about it for probably two years, until Ed Gamble referenced it on the Taskmaster podcast the other day, and I decided to give it a shot.

I also learned that the full video is now on YouTube:

It's actually kind of funny. I mean, it's not top quality Taskmaster or anything. It's mostly just weird and awkward, but I find the level of awkward in the atmosphere amusing. It's mainly fun to watch Greg and Alex be more relaxed, not so over-the-top "in character" and enjoying getting to reverse the balance of power on TV commissioners.

Taskmaster was only two seasons in at the time. Tasks for this special were an odd mix - one from season 2, one from season 3, one that was created entirely to just fuck with the people who've turned down TV shows before. That last one is the one Ed referenced on the podcast - he told John Robins about it, and John said he hasn't seen this special, and sounded like he hadn't heard of it before. But I think John maybe has had something to do with it, because the other task in this has the exact rules of the game Beta Bet, a regular feature on the Elis and John Radio X show that they started doing just a few months after this Taskmaster special was filmed, I think. When they started playing Beta Bet on the radio, John said it was a game he'd invented and played with friends before, and also during that time, John regularly had stories about playing games like this in pubs with Tim Key and Alex Horne.

I don't know if John ever said that Beta Bet was one of those games he played with Alex, but I think it must have been, as it's ended up on Taskmaster. It's a very fun game, both to play and to listen to other people play, it's a pity that Elis James was so awful at it that they had to drop it as a radio feature after a few months (to be fair to Elis, the issue was the contrast between how bad Elis was vs how John was very very good at it, Elis wouldn't have seemed quite so bad at it next to someone besides John, and that sort of thing is why John Robins is now the most statistically successful player in Taskmaster history).

They end on a live task used in season 3, one of the most convoluted and weird live tasks that Taskmaster has ever done, so certainly an interesting idea to take something that was a bit difficult to make work as entertainment even for comedians, and give it to a bunch of people who aren't comedians. Again, most of the reason to watch this special is if you find it amusing when things are awkward and don't really work, which I do. It's also fun to see Taskmaster with significantly less editing than they have on TV, even things like not as much background music, it's weird but kind of cool. So if anyone heard that reference on the latest podcast episodes and wondered what Ed was talking about, here it is. It's probably not really worth an hour of your time but might be if you don't have anything else to do. The bit that Ed mentioned on the podcast is, in fact, funny.

[stucky-fic-idea-bank]

K so I had this idea for a fic, and I would love to actually write it but it's so far out of my wheelhouse that I'd do one (or more) of the following: push off writing it forever, spend ages researching, write it but never end up being happy with how it comes out.

But I would love love love to read it if someone else writes it!

So my idea is a modern AU, and both Steve and Bucky are on tiktok.

Steve (stevegrrr) is Skinny!Steve and disabled; he mostly adapts recipes for different dietary needs (often by request) but also sometimes reviews disability aids or shows how different things (baking, but also household, community, hobby, etc. things) could be adapted. He's in New York, baking from his college apartment, and has a successful Patreon where he posts unedited videos, outtakes, and videos of his roommates (Morita, Gabe) guessing which versions of his bakes are the original or the modified recipes and rating them.

Bucky (callmebucky) is broody Post-Azzano!Bucky; he bakes recipes from the 1920s, 30s, and 40s. He's in Indiana, maybe isn't super happy there.

Steve's and Bucky's followers keep saying they should do a collab, and eventually Steve reaches out and invites Bucky to come to New York for that.

Bucky likes NY and Steve, moves to NY.

They don't do any more collabs but Bucky is there off-camera sometimes when Steve is filming, and vice versa. And their followers start noticing clues, like someone thinks they hear Steve talking or laughing in the background of Bucky's video, or Steve wears a sweatshirt he stole from Bucky and someone remembers that Bucky once wore it in a video X weeks ago. Then all their followers become detectives, e.g. "It can't be the same day as the collab because the calendar is turned to the next month." or "Can't be the same because Steve's bruise is a different color." (if Steve is physical fighty and not just words fighty on the internet)

Eventually, Bucky and Steve announce that they are dating (maybe with another baking collab that's too cheesy for Bucky's liking but he'd do anything for Steve and Steve wants to do it, so).

And yeah, that's it.

The biggest reasons why I don't think I could do it justice is because I'm not on tiktok or any other video-based social media platforms so know little about them, and also because I think it would be best told in part via video transcripts and comments on the videos, and [see reason 1].

Thoughts?

^^^^

holy shit this sounds so good. And you’ve already fleshed like 90% of it out!! Fingers crossed someone picks this up because it sounds like a banger of a fic

[thislovintime]

Buddy Miles and Peter Tork on the set of 33 ⅓ Revolutions Per Monkee, 1968. Photos published in The Monkees Monthly.

“[Peter] has an almost naive belief in the basic goodness of his fellow man (a trait which hasn’t changed one iota through the years), and he thinks there is hope for everyone. […] Most of the people who live with him (there are seven now) have known Peter for years. Since money has no value to him, he lavishes his money on his friends. Peter has spent thousands of dollars just helping, with no thought of getting repaid. (That much has changed — a few years ago Peter couldn’t give much more than a sympathetic ear.) […] With all those people living with Peter now, he has very little privacy, but apparently it isn’t missed. Everyone at the house is working and ‘doing their thing,’ and the house is a simple, unpretentious, very lived-on home. As one person living there puts it[,] ‘It’s a happy, productive household, so full of love you can’t quite believe it.’” - Judy Sims, Disc and Music Echo, May 11, 1968 (x, x)

“I lived with Peter Tork of the Monkees for about six or eight months after the [Monterey Pop] festival, and Stephen [Stills] used to hang up at the house. Peter and Stephen were good friends.” - Buddy Miles, Modern Drummer, September 1988

“Buddy and I were pretty fond of each other, actually, for a while. [...] We used to have a grand time playing together.” - Peter Tork, 2007, published in Rolling Stone, 2019

“Hi Peter - I was wondering if you had any memories or thoughts to share on the great Buddy Miles. Thanks Charlie age 37″

“Dear Charlie, It was a long time between when I last saw Buddy and when he died. I hadn’t heard from him, nor, as far as I know, he about me, for years. When we did spend time together, back in the late 60’s, we were pretty close for a little while, but didn’t keep much track of each other after I left Hollywood. I first saw him playing drums for the great Electric Flag, the best of the horn rock bands, as far as I’m concerned. They were playing at the Monterey Pop Festival, and Buddy was huge at the time. I don’t think he ever got slim, but he was certainly much slimmer when I hung with him later. He was a splendid drummer, and I was able to get him into the studio to do a few cuts with me. Nothing much ever came of it, but if you find “Seeger’s Theme” in one of those Monkee outtake collections, that’s him playing drums. He was also a very good singer, and even took up the guitar a bit, bending notes in the most soulful way. I guess the fact that he played drums with Jimi Hendrix was the best testament to his skills. If there’s an afterlife of any kind, he’s still at it. Thanks for asking, Peter” - Ask Peter Tork, 2008

[florencewellch]

Folklore is grown-up Debut and here's why:

Firstly on Debut, she starts the album by hoping that her partner, who's about to leave her when summer ends, will think of her whenever he hears her favorite Tim McGraw song, which can be compared to August, where she reflects about a doomed summer romance after it's over and how she thought they had something more meaningful.

Secondly, on Debut she tells other people's stories in songs like Mary's Song and Tied Together With a Smile, which can be compared to her telling the story of Rebekah Harness in The Last Great American Dynasty. Additionally, on Debut she wrote some songs based on feelings/concepts rather than experiences she's actually had, which is understandable considering that the songs on Debut were written between the ages of 13 and 16, the best examples being A Perfectly Good Heart and Dark Blue Tennessee (a Debut outtake). Which is something she does on Folklore in songs like Exile, where she tells the story of a couple whose relationship breaks down due to miscommunication.

Thirdly, there's also the theme of being cheated on. In Should've Said No, Taylor finds out that her boyfriend has cheated on her and rightfully refuses to forgive him when he's on his knees begging for it. Which can be compared to James and Betty's relationship in Cardigan and Betty, though the anger is somewhat missing in Cardigan, because the narrator reminiscing about something that happened years ago and Betty ends up forgiving James.

Aesthetic wise, Folklore is set in the woods, which is seen in the photoshoot. Although not the same thing, it's not super different from Debut's rural setting, possibly the album that matches Folkevermore visuals the most (with the exception of certain visuals from Red's photoshoot), which is even more emphasized on the album photoshoot.

[raidergamerspice]

It feels like forever ago, but I once made a tumblr post about what I thought Melanie Martinez's Cry Baby album plus the EP tracks would look like if all the songs were lowercase, to contrast the PORTALS songs all being uppercase. I still think it would've been a neat idea 🤷‍♀️

But anyway, I bring that up because I got struck with another idea: trying to figure out new names for some of the Cry Baby era songs (most of them outtakes) to better fit the theme of childhood. Like, one of the most important parts Melanie's albums is that the songs for each album fit the theme for said album, from Cry Baby being about birth and childhood to K-12 being about school and growing up, and PORTALS being about spirituality and rebirth. But when looking at all the songs from the Cry Baby era, especially the outtakes, I can't help but notice many of them having names that just...don't strike me as childhood-themed. I'm not criticizing Melanie in her talent, obviously she named each song whatever she felt fit them best, and I still respect that. But I also can't help but think that some songs stick out like sore thumbs when you take the overall theme into consideration.

So, here are my ideas for what to rename certain Cry Baby era songs to better fit the theme:

Bittersweet Tragedy: Melted Ice Cream. The lyrics mention melting a couple times, as well as ice cream near the beginning. I feel like a good metaphor for a relationship falling out could be the feeling of ice cream melting in your hands; it was gone before you could really enjoy it. And of course, kids would be devastated if ice cream melted before they could eat it. Plus, there was a missed opportunity for Melanie to not have a song called Ice Cream - yes, there is I Scream, technically, but no reason to not have both. Two outtakes are literally called Eraser and Erase Her.

Bombs on Monday Morning: Pinky Promise. This was really what kickstarted my idea because even though it's a great song for an outtake, a title like that is not very kid like. Kids should not be exposed to bombs. Period. So, I figured that Pinky Promise is a more childhood-themed title, especially since that's what opens the whole song in the lyrics. Alternatively, it could even be shortened to simply Monday Morning, though perhaps a title like that would fit the theming for K-12 more than Cry Baby since it could also be school-related (although bombs and school going together is not something we like to think about, ever).

Dead To Me: Rainy Days. It's mentioned once in the lyrics to go along with the main premise of the song being present at a funeral in the rain. Personally, I hope that children aren't going around and telling people "you're dead to me" in any context, so try Rainy Days instead. Some kids like rainy days because they can jump in puddles and whatnot, or they don't like rainy days because it means they can't play outside. Either way, kids have some kind of connection to rainy days.

Drowning: Clock in the Kitchen. This was a weird one because to quote the Melanie Martinez wiki, "This song is an unfinished concept with no concrete theme, tune, or even confirmed lyrics. It contains some gibberish as Melanie was trying out different melodies for the song and did not have many lyrics figured out, and its already existing lyrics seem to tell a vague story that doesn't make much sense." Because of this, the only lyric available that I figured could be somewhat childhood-themed is Clock in the Kitchen. I don't know, maybe some kids grew up with cuckoo clocks in their parents' kitchen? Besides, a Cry Baby outtake called Drowning has me thinking of Ben Drowned 💀

Gold Diggin' Love: Shelved. Kids really shouldn't be exposed to gold diggers at a young age. But like Drowning, this was a pretty hard one to rename. I settled with Shelved since it is a word in the lyrics, and it made me think of Toy Story 2, with Mr. Potato Head telling Rex that "Woody's been shelved". Kids definitely would have their favorite toys or other items be "shelved" for one reason or another. Plus, within the context of the song, the titular Gold Digger basically "shelves" her lovers as she goes through them.

Half Hearted: Half and Half. In this case, I'm mostly projecting a part of my own childhood - one time when I was a kid, I ate cereal with half and half instead of milk because we were out of milk and I thought there wasn't a difference. My mom found it funny, but I haven't done that since. Maybe there were kids that made that same mistake, or there could be other instances where "half and half" describes a certain situation? I don't know, maybe this song didn't need a rename.

Haunted: Ghost Stories. I suppose you can argue that this didn't need a rename either since kids might love the scare of a certain place being "haunted", like haunted houses. But in case it was too scary to childhood-themed for the album, Ghost Stories might be a better alternative, since kids also love telling/hearing ghost stories.

Mistakes: Break Rules. I'm kinda reaching at this point, mainly because the first thing I thought of when I saw the title of this song was the fact that some kids were told by their parents that they were "mistakes", and that's heartbreaking. Since the song is about childhood rebellion, I thought that Break Rules or something similar was a slightly nicer name.

Psycho Lovers: Down the Rabbit Hole. I mean, explain to me how a title like Psycho Lovers can be childhood-themed. I don't think you can. Since the lyrics involve asking someone to go down a rabbit hole with them, I thought that'd be a great alternative, especially since it can go hand in hand with Mad Hatter.

Schizo: Favorite Toy. Schizophrenia is definitely a difficult subject for children to comprehend in any context, so I personally find it hard to imagine a kid referring to someone with it as a "schizo" (I could be wrong, of course, maybe it's happening somewhere in the world right now). But with the lyrics presenting Melanie as someone else's "favorite toy" for someone else really made a case for Favorite Toy to be a good alternative title. I mean, kids always have favorite toys.

Trophy Wife: Miss Pageant Queen. Much like Gold Diggin' Love, a trophy wife is something I don't like the idea of children knowing about at a young age, since it could potentially lead them to growing up believing that that's an acceptable term to describe someone as. And since there are kids that compete in pageants, I feel like Miss Pageant Queen was a more fitting name for the theme. Of course, child pageants in general are a bit of a rough subject anyway, in my opinion, but I digress.

You Love I: Puppet Show. I don't know if kids would ever say "you love I" in any context, 'cause I wouldn't as an adult. But I can assume that some kids enjoy puppet shows, so Puppet Show might be a better alternative.

What do you think? Are these good alternative names? I don't completely want to replace their names in my head or anything, I just think that, if Melanie committed to the theme of childhood for all the songs she wrote for the Cry Baby era, these might have been what she'd use, too.

As for her other era songs, I only came up with alternative names for a small handful of After School songs (all but one being outtakes, of course). I just felt like they didn't exactly fit the school them like the others:

Absorb: Project Piece. I'm honestly not sure why Melanie settled on naming it Absorb when something like Project Piece was right there, especially since it fits the song's theme of two people trying to make their relationship work. Working on a project is a perfect metaphor for a couple working on their relationship.

Brain & Heart: Calculated. I actually love the original title, but again, it just doesn't really fit the school theme that much, in my opinion. I feel like Calculated would fit better, since everyone used calculators in school lmao.

Maze: Blame Game. I've personally never been to a school that had a maze, if we're being literal. I know that they exist, but I've never physically seen one. I feel like Blame Game is slightly better since school is full of so much drama, blame games are played all the time.

Paper Cut: Stitches. This one is different from the others because it's not that I don't think the original title is school-themed, 'cause it is. It's just that...there's also a K-12 outtake called Papercut. As you can imagine, fans are annoyed that two different outtakes have far too similar names (they're literally the same name, with one having a space breaking it up), so many of them have opted to refer to it as Stitches instead to reduce confusion.

Phew, that was a lot lmao. What do you think of these? Are they good ideas, or was there no reason for me to even bother? I mainly did this as a fun project, as it were, and I just wanted to share with the class (heh, these school puns).

Also, I left the PORTALS era songs alone because they honestly seem fine on their own, for the most part (though WALKIE TALKIE is an interesting one 🤔)