#these are my babies and I love to see more people recognizing their mutual toxicity

[detectivelokis]

WHY YOU SHOULD VOTE FOR CHARLIE AND JOHN.

In honor of these freaks making round 2 of @toxic-ship-tournament , I have taken it upon myself to make a little propaganda post for them.

1. The Serpent and Eve symbolism:

(art by @glitcheddead )

Look at them! He’s the serpent wrapping himself around her very being, corrupting her to take the Apple and join him in paradise while also simultaneously creating new life with her, starting the second generation of families amongst Eden’s Gate. The minute he slithered on over to her and whispered in her ear she was fucked and clearly by the art, she gives in to her temptation eventually.

2. Couples That Slay Together Stay Together:

Just months after their wedding, John brings her to his little torture dungeon, presenting her with the gift of her ex-husband, neatly wrapped up in a bow and ready to be killed. Just for her. Just for her to see just how devoted he is to her. Hand in unlovable hand, they take him out. Together.

Also, check this recent WIP for a snippet of her doing girly things and killing to defend her man.

3. They’re Just Hot.

(art by @derelictheretic )

Look at that utter devotion. She would crawl on her hands and knees for him. They worship each other while simultaneously making the other much, much worse.

[dragynkeep]

Marco/Connie, Marker, Mitchentine, Clouis, Violetine, Clemerva, Luca/Sherry, Loretta/Nina, Maverick/Svetlana, DeliYang, Yang/Erica, Alex/Galahad, and Striker/Beretta for the ship bingo

marco / connie.

no cause marco & connie are so [clenches fist], there's so much drama there from what we had in their backstories to then the introduction of the destroyers & both of them falling into this toxic destruction of other's making but their love kept them alive long enough to reunite.

my only criticism would be that i wish we had more of them because it really felt like we didn't get much before connie was kidnapped & it made me sad, though the side manga helped to alleviate that.

marco / striker.

the obsession. marco trying so hard to get away from this life but the ghost of striker haunts him until he resurrects in that obsessive love to drag them both down to somewhere marco can never abandon him again. their promise they made as children ended up being a curse & it's so good to see, especially since even after marco's death: striker is still haunted. he'll never escape that man & it's unhinged!

mitch / clementine.

not one of my top ships for clementine but it's definitely up there in the top five because their immediate sardonic, witty banter together definitely endeared me. i think clementine can recognize that surly attitude in him that she definitely had in season 3 & it endears her to him. meanwhile mitch is definitely lowkey fascinated with this all knowing girl that just showed up out of nowhere with a mouth as big as his.

louis / clementine.

my second favourite clementine ship, these two immediately caught my attention when i started playing the 4th season because louis is exactly what clementine needs. someone who can break through that very tough wall she's built & remind her that she's still a kid, as well as someone who regards aj as someone that's the most important thing to her.

canon did them so dirty, why did they do that to my poor boy :((

violet / clementine.

i did really used to like them more but the behaviour of the shippers in two [redacted] servers just absolutely turned me off from the ship. they do have some really cute moments but i do wonder if violet's whole demeanour would end up dragging clementine further into her negative traits rather than someone who will hold her accountable & remind her that she's still a kid at the end of the day. idk.

clementine / minvera.

oh my poor baby scrungles. i loved their dynamic from day one & minverva remains the top wlw ship i have for clementine cause they're just so [clenches fist] fucked up. while other ships serve to remind clementine that she doesn't have to be the way she was for survival anymore, clem / minerva would go the exact opposite way in minerva dragging clementine down into her own trauma because she can't do it alone.

so much good toxicity that i always love to see play out ✨

luca / sherry.

for a background couple, they excel in married energy & i love how nonjudgemental luca is of his wife's profession: in fact he seems to adulate this aspect of who she is & put's her on for show, so everyone knows how amazing his wife is & how much he adores her. get you a man like luca!

loretta / nina.

oh my god no these two would be so cute & i like that they also seem to represent the future of ergastulum, wanting to do better for the good of the people there & that would be something they connect over greatly. also loretta hearing about nina's favourite drink from worick & she ends up buying an entire caseload wheeze.

maverick / svetlana.

not something super on my radar but there's just something so intriguing about these two & how they exist in the dyamics of their "families", how that would interconnect with how they exist within each other.

delico / yang & yang / erica.

putting these two together bc oh the dynamics here are just so !! delico as the replacement for the sister they both lost, that playing into their mutual guilt & tension between each other, they would die for each other & kill for each other but would that extend to what they become if they ever got erica back. how would that dynamic warp & twist with what erica has become, the traumatic psychosexual connections & all three of them just needing to be together. so fascinating.

alex / galahad.

not one of my main ships for either but i can't deny they would be so cute together, especially with galahad's protectiveness over alex & him convincing her to let loose & enjoy herself a little! adorable!

striker / beretta.

the definition of evil soulmates: they'll watch the world burn for each other because even with striker's obsession with marco, he remains at beretta's side. they're two puzzle pieces, a bullet & a gun, a whip & blood splatter. they'll burn the world. they'll survive in each other time & time again because this is just who they are.

[agentrcmedy]

I have to get something off my chest that happened in my day today, and I can’t share it on my other social media because of mutual friends who would see it. TW: Mentions of my loved one’s passing, Covid, depression, abuse/gaslighting, and a rant that has been two (or twenty-two) years in the making.

So I moved from Louisiana to Florida in 2020 to pursue my dream job. It was the best decision I ever made, and I’m happier here than I’ve ever been. An ex-best friend of mine, someone I’d known and been close with for over 22 years, was pissed off at me for choosing to take the job because it meant I was moving away and decided to ignore me when I tried to make plans with her during the last week I was in town. Mind you, let me put this in perspective: She was married to the love of her life, had a 6 month old baby, had her dream job...I had been laid off of both of my jobs back home, I had no husband or boyfriend to speak of, no children, and I was buried deep in my depression after having lost my grandmother to Covid and being stuck alone in quarantine for several months with no one else in my house.

I needed to get out of that life I was living. I was going nowhere, it was hurting my mental health, and I had to move my life forward and pursue my dreams and finally do something important and life changing for myself. And now, 2 years later, her mother is bashing me on social media all of a sudden, out of the blue, trying to say I “abandoned” her daughter when she needed me the most just because she had a baby. I’m sorry...was I supposed to put my life on hold because my best friend had a 6 month old healthy child and a life of her own?? Was I supposed to tell my hiring manager, “Oh, sorry...I can’t take this dream job I’ve been wanting for almost ten years because my friend wants me to be there in person for her baby for God knows how much longer while my own mental health suffers??”

Utterly ridiculous. I refuse to respond to said post and open up that floodgate for her mother to gaslight me and further try to drag my reputation through the mud because I know she doesn’t deserve any of my attention. My ex-friend would hit me hard thinking it was playful and funny, but whenever I tried to fight back, she would get angry and apparently it wouldn’t be okay anymore. She had a cruel habit of thinking it was hysterical to physically overpower me and tickle me knowing I had been assaulted by a man who started out by overpowering me and tickling me to get control. There was constant manipulation and gaslighting and making me feel like absolute shit and pushing away all of my other friends until there was no one but her. Now that I am on the outside looking in for the last two years, I have realized how horribly toxic and unhealthy that friendship was for me. Even my family members cheered and celebrated when I told them I was no longer friends with her. They hated our friendship because they knew I could do better.

I completely cut off any further contact as of seeing that post today. I’ve grown and matured these past two years, and I refuse to subject myself to any more abuse or mistreatment from people who were supposed to be a part of my support system. I have never bashed anyone involved on social media for everyone we know to see. I kept it private and moved on. But this was my last straw. Friendship and love and support is supposed to be a two way street, and if it isn’t, then goodbye. I have a circle of friends now that is healthy and supportive and trustworthy, and I adore each and every one of them. These girls are my warmth and my light and we have helped each other through our bad days and recognized each other’s triumphs and good days. I am blessed that fate brought us all together. They have literally saved my life more times than I count.

If anyone reads this, thanks for taking the time and I hope this is not triggering to any of you. I’ve been stewing in this today and it has worsened my depression because of my own triggers. I needed to get it out.

[young-dumb-and-vaccinated]

Cult Girl: Doctorate (Hannibal x Female!Reader) pt. 8

Cult girl and Hannibal go through an exhaustive list of potential adoptive couples. 

@wisesandwichshark

Trigger warning: sexual harassment, christianity, discussion of pregnancy and family planning, adoption, murder and cannibalism 

Step two: find an adoptive family.

Some would say your list of expectations for potential adoptive parents was too extensive. Impossible for any human to reach. But it was really just the bare minimum.

Regardless of if they were two men, two women, one of each, or a few people, the parents had to be trustworthy. It wasn't easy to earn Hannibal's trust, but he could recognize those who had the capacity to right away. It was a little instinct you had dubbed 'friend or food'.

On paper, the apostolic pastor and his wife of 19 years seemed like the perfect candidates. The adoption agency tried to push them on you, as they had a great track record with adopting from them prior. Three boys, all of which were honors students.

Hannibal insisted on a formal introduction, during which you could conduct a proper, though surreptitious, interview. It was an invitation to dinner.

He invited the couple into his office, where a pot of tea and an interrogation was waiting for them. Then there was you. Barely-pregnant little [F/N], feeling entirely safe so long as your fiancé was beside you.

"You're doing the right thing, y'know." The woman, who introduced herself as Mrs. Landon, said upon meeting you.

"How do you mean?" You asked, already knowing the answer.

"All god's life is precious." She said, placing a hand on your not-even-remotely-showing-yet stomach. "You're walking in obedience to the lord by giving this child a shot at life."

Strike one: bringing up religion unprompted. Strike two: touching me without asking first.

You wanted to swat her hand away, but remembered that patience was a virtue. She and her husband took a seat across from you.

"Y'know," The man began, his mannerisms eerily similar to those of his wife. "I don't usually begin with the god talk, but I think a higher power had to have been involved in the conception of this- well, our child. I'd like to think the good lord brought us together today."

Strike three: already believes he is entitled to my child. You're outta here.

"Don't flatter the adoption agency like that, Jacob." Hannibal chuckled, placing his teacup on the side table.

"I'm serious, Dr. Lecter." Jacob interjected. "Faith and I really do believe that god put us on this earth to prepare his smallest soldiers for the spiritual war."

You shot Hannibal a side glance that said 'can we please just eat them now?'.

The answer was no. Hannibal liked to play with his food.

"And your adult children have all moved out?" He asked.

"That's right." Jacob nodded. "We have plenty of room in our five-bedroom house for the new little slugger to run around in."

"And if it's a girl!" The wife interrupted. "We have enough closet space for all the denim maxi-skirts money could buy."

Strike four: arbitrarily genders the behavior of a nine-week-old embryo.

The man then returned the teacup to the table, not bothering to use the saucer and instead leaving a nasty ring of condensation on the polished mahogany.

"Okay." Hannibal huffed, resignedly rising from his seat. He pulled two hypodermic needles from his back pocket and carefully, subtly stuck them onto the couples' necks. They couldn't even scream.

The tacos al pastor that followed (after a few days of marinating, of course) were exquisite.

The next week brought a new couple to your doorstep. Frank and Angela, they were named. Their claim to fame was that their oldest son played football for one of those big southern party schools. Either Auburn or Alabama. There was hardly a difference.

You sat for what felt like hours listening to the man speak in unintelligible football babble, waiting for him to take a breath. Surprisingly, it was the mom who got him to finally shut up.

"Frank, please." She said with more frustration than this one situation even remotely warranted. Either she had enough intuition to know she was being tested, or she’d spent the last decade putting up with this. Possibly both. "You're boring our hosts to death."

"What? No way! She loves it!" Frank replied, then turned to you. Not to Hannibal, just you. “Aren’t you having a great time, sweetheart?” 

Strike one: takes advantage of the female socialization to be passive and polite, allowing himself to take up the most space.

You shook your head. “I hate football.” 

His wife looked quite pleased with herself. 

“Angie, I just wanted her to know what good breeding her son is going to have.” He said, without a lick of irony or self-awareness. He eyed you up and down and licked his lips. “And it is mutual, I see.” 

The room went quiet as everyone tried to determine whether he was serious or if it was just a fucked-up joke. The longer the silence lingered, the more you realized he wasn’t kidding. Angela looked like she wanted to crawl into a hole and die.

“I don’t know what the agency told you, Mr. Wyatt,” Hannibal said, trying not to grit his teeth. “She isn’t a surrogate. She’s already pregnant.” 

Frank’s jaw hung dumbly open. “I thought you were looking for a sperm donor? I just-” 

“No.” You cut him off, raising your hand and covering your face. “I don’t want to know what you thought.” 

“Well, I would!” Angela interjected, righteous fury eclipsing what should have been crippling embarrassment. “What exactly did you think this was, Francis?” 

“The file said that he was over fifty, so I just assumed--” Frank rationalized, his voice far too loud for the room. “Y’know? That she wanted a baby that wouldn’t come out all funny-looking?” 

“You’re disgusting.” You blurted out. 

“Francis Howard Wyatt,” Angela scolded as if she were talking to her son. “You are forty-eight and the only increasing part of your body is your blood pressure. Why on Earth would any woman choose you over her smart, handsome doctor fiancé?”

This made Hannibal sit up a little straighter. He wanted Francis on the butcher’s block yesterday, but he momentarily considered letting Angela live. 

“They’re not married?” Frank whispered, or whatever the loud-aggressive-toxic-masculinity version of whispering was. He paused, as the dead hamster on the wheel powering his brain crept back to life. “That actually makes sense.” 

Angela loudly smacked her hand against her face. “Dr. Lecter, Ms. [L/N], I am so sorry.” 

“It’s quite alright, Mrs. Wyatt.” Hannibal stood up, readying the next batch of needles. “It just makes what I’m about to do easier.” 

It took quite a bit of restraint to not make their deaths hurt, but he made up for it when it came time to carve. He had fun running his fittingly small penis through a meat grinder. Not with any intent to cook it, though. Just because. 

Hannibal wanted to make Francis Wyatt into the least dignified meal imaginable. You quickly recalled going to a friend’s barbeque in Georgia and encountering a horrendously Southern delicacy known as Frito Pie. You proposed the idea to Hannibal, who, after reviling in abject horror at the notion of eating something out of a bag, agreed that it was the most fitting end. He could spare a few pounds of flesh to grind up and make into chili. 

The third week brought yet another couple. They seemed smart enough to realize your invitation wasn't the friendly olive branch the others had interpreted it as. Their healthy skepticism was refreshing, to say the least. Then, you met them: Max and Archie.

"You'll have to forgive my partner's paranoia." Max said upon entering the house. He tugged playfully at Archie's hand. "We watched Get Out recently, so an invitation to the suburbs sounded some alarms in his sleep-deprived brain."

"I love that movie." You chimed in. "It reminds me of my family."

"Oh no." Archie's eyes widened in only half-pretend fear. He shot an I-told-you-so look in his partner's direction. 

"But my favorite horror flick has to be Midsommar." You added. "My friends and I saw a midnight screening and we didn't sleep at all that night."

"But have you seen Hereditary?" Archie posited.

"Of course." You shrugged. "Aster is totally genius."

You made more than just polite conversation with the couple. Max, despite his young age, was a skilled data analyst and day trader. He attributed his success to the hard work of his immigrant parents. Archie was an environmental lawyer and land activist. He was also a bit of a thrill junkie, indulging in everything from scary movies to bungee jumping.

It didn't take long to realize that you wouldn't be eating them. They were far too pleasant of company to eat.

"So when is this baby planning to make its entrance?" Archie asked, gesturing to you. "You don’t look all that pregnant to me."

You put your hand over your slightly-protruding stomach. "Late August, I believe. If everything goes according to plan."

"You're not far along at all, aren’t you?" Max observed. "That gives us plenty of time to prove ourselves to you."

"Believe me." You put up your hand. "You're doing a great job so far."

“If you like horror stories, we might have to indulge you in the last two encounters we had.” Hannibal commented, leaning back comfortably in his chair. That was a good sign. “No blood was spilled, thank god. Would have ruined my carpets. But believe me when I tell you it came very close.” 

The couple laughed along. Archie leaned in like he was about to tell a life-shattering secret. “You wouldn’t believe the hoops we had to jump through to even have the chance to adopt. And I don’t want to say that it’s because we’re an interracial gay couple, but...” 

“Agencies aren’t exactly colorblind.” You finished, via his prompting. 

“She gets it.” Archie pointed to you. “See, Maxie? She agrees with me.” 

Max pushed his glasses up his nose. “I never said I disagreed.” 

You spent the rest of the afternoon waiting for the conversation to take a sharp left turn off a cliff, but it didn’t happen. They were wonderful company; polite, intelligent and articulate. Exactly the kind of people you’d want to see taking care of your child. 

You’d have to look for you next meal elsewhere. 

[inevitably-johnlocked]

Hi :) I... really wanna read a fanfic or two but I can't find one I vibe with xD So... do you know one that's not too long (around 100k words maybe), has hurt and comfort, smut (am I allowed to ask about that?? Ahhhh) and a happy ending? Top!lock would be a bonus but it's not necessary. And if it's a nice AU (like... any kind but no crossovers pls), it would be perfect! :D By the way, I found your blog only a few hours ago and I already feel really comfy and Idk, kinda at home here ^-^

Hi Nonny!!!

Welcome to my corner of the Tumblrsphere!!! I’m so happy you’ve found me, LOL, because I love all my followers and friends! <3

First of all, I think it’s super cute that “not too long” to you is “around 100K” LOL LOL LOL!!! <3 That said, I’d argue all my fic recs are fabulous, LOL. But again, I’m stupidly proud of the wonderful lists I’ve accumulated, because it satisfies my organization kink LOL. And yes, you’re ALWAYS allowed to ask for smut here LOL. 

ANYWAY, so I’m gonna use this ask as an excuse to post up a long-overdue part two to my 50 to 100K fic list! But first, here’s some past lists for the genres you’re looking for:

FIC MASTER PAGES: PG1 || PG 2 || PG 3

Toplock (Mar 2020)

Omegaverse

Please Check PG 3 for all my AU fic lists. There’s a lot :)

Hurt / Comfort Pt. 1: Under 5K Words 

Hurt / Comfort Pt. 2: 5K to 10K Words

Fandom Favourites / Popular Fics

I hope those will get you started! So now, here’s the main event!! Hope you enjoy them!

50 - 100 K WORDS Pt. 2 (Novel Length)

See also:

Fics Under 2000 w.

Fics Under 2000 w. Pt. 2

Fics Under 2000 w. Pt. 3

E-Rated Johnlock for Newcomers Pt 1 (Short Fics under 20K)

Novella Length Fics: 25 to 50K (Aug. 2019)

Novel Length Fics: 50 to 100K (Nov. 2018)

Novel Length Fics: 100K+ w. (May 2019)

Long S3/Post-S3 Fics (20K+ w.) [Apr 2020]

Top 20 Fave 40K+ w. Fics (April 2017)

Smut-Free Fics Over 50K (Aug 2019)

The Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse by SilentAuror (E, 50,635 w., 1 Ch. || Post-S4/S4 Divergence, Case Fic, For a Case / Reverse Fake-Relationship, Conferences, Marriage Equality, Travelling / New York, Pride, Homophobia, Bottomlock, Marriage Proposal, John POV, Sexuality, Love Confessions, Emotional Love Making, Public Hand Jobs, Blow Jobs, Passionate Kissing, Needy/Clingy Sherlock, Virgin Sherlock, Touching / Hand Holding, Bed Sharing, Little Spoon Sherlock, Intense Orgasms) – John and Sherlock go to New York to attend a conference run by the National Defence of Traditional Marriage Coalition in order to investigate the potential bombing of the annual Manhattan Pride parade. As the conference unfolds, John finds himself repulsed by the toxic ideology being presented, which becomes relevent to his own unacknowledged issues and his friendship with Sherlock...

Repairing the Broken Things by BakerTumblings (M, 75,252 w., 15 Ch. || S4 Compliant, Angst, Hurt/Comfort, Medical Trauma, Hospitals, Big Brother Mycroft, Misunderstandings, Realizations, Severe Accident, John Whump, Pneumonia, Medical Procedures, Bed Sharing, First Time, Healing, Happy Ending) – "I'm calling today to notify you that there's been an accident."

Points by lifeonmars (E, 53,791 w., 42 Ch. || PODFIC AVAILABLE || HLV Rewrite / Canon Divergence, Married Life, Pregnancy / Baby Watson, Drinking to Cope, Boxing / Fisticuffs, Clueless John, Angst, Minor Medical Drama, Tattoos, Christmas, First Kiss/Time, Eventual Happy Ending, Love Confessions, Doctor John, Sexuality Crisis, Slow Burn, Case Fic, Drugging, Blow/Hand Job, Emotional Love Making, Parenthood, Passage of Time) – What if His Last Vow never happened? This fic picks up a few months after John and Mary's wedding, in an alternate universe where Magnussen doesn't exist, but Mary is still pregnant. Life continues -- just in a different direction. And slowly, Sherlock and John find their way to each other.

Never Change a Running System by Lorelei_Lee (E, 54,246 w. || Pre-TRF, Romance, Humour, Drama, Sex Toys, Anal, Rimming, Masturbation, Frottage, Blow Jobs, Public Sex, First Kiss / Time, Virgin Sherlock / Loss of Virginity, Accidental Voyeurism, Unresolved Sexual Tension, Experiments, Naive Sherlock, Pining Sherlock, Jealous Sherlock, Possessive Sherlock, Straight With an Exception John, Hand Jobs) – Sherlock discovers his sexuality – with far-reaching consequences for John.

A Hundred Crimson Sols by elldotsee (E, 55,536 w. || Astronauts AU || Mars Exploration / Space Travel, Slow Burn, Shy Sherlock, Scientist Sherlock / Biomed Engineer John, Alternating POV, Mutual Pining, UST, Angst with Happy Ending, Domestic Fluff, Hurt/Comfort, Injuries, Suicidal Ideation, Zero-G Sex) – Will Holmes is a chemical researcher recognized widely for his contributions to the new Mars exploration program. Thanks to his ground-breaking developments, the IMMC (International Mars Mission Corporation) is one step closer to Martian colonization. Will and his team of scientists are headed out on the first of three manned missions before the first group of settlers arrive. Three days before launch, one of the crew has to be replaced. Will panics because...new people. The replacement is of course one John Watson, biomedical engineer and space hottie who was pretty sure he had retired from actual space exploration and was now content to work in the nice, quiet research lab. Can the crew survive this TOTALLY ROUTINE trip? Will they be able to endure each other for the looooooong trip in close quarters? Gonna be a wild ride... prepare for blast off. Part 1 of the SpaceBois go to Space series

The Thing Is by TSylvestris (E, 56,743 w. || Case Fic, Dev. Rel., Anal/Oral, Blow Jobs, Meddling Mycroft, Drama, Romance, Humour, Casual Encounters, Pining Idiots, Possessive Sherlock, Orgasm Delay, Rough / Alley Sex, Public Sex, John Whump, Drugged John, Emotional Love Making, Awkward Relationship, Marriage of Convenience, Switchlock) – The problem with living with Sherlock, John thought, was that you never, never, ever knew the significance of anything. Like your flatmate's nose buried in your hair. Whilst you're in bed. Part 1 of Nitroglycerine

One Little Change by jadztone (E, 58,312 w. || ASiB Divergence, Fake Relationship, Bed Sharing, Mutual Pining, Friends to Lovers, First Kiss / Time, Anal Sex, Blow Jobs, Bi John / Gay Demisexual Sherlock, Switchlock, Alternating POV, Jealousy, Misunderstandings, Case Fic, Angst with Happy Ending, Emotional Love Making, Butt Plugs, Cuddles) – Our story begins right after John and Sherlock's first meeting with Irene Adler in September. It splits off into an AU that imagines them taking a case where they act as bait to hook a killer targeting closeted gays in secret relationships. In the weeks leading up to Christmas, many things happen that have our boys wondering if maybe they have a chance with each other. Then Irene fakes her death on Christmas Eve, and things get a lot more complicated - especially since they still have a killer to catch.

floating through a dark blue sky by Lediona (M, 58,966 w. || Notting Hilll AU || POV John, Celebrity Sherlock, First Date / Time / Kiss, Past Drug Addiction, Angst with a Happy Ending) – Of course, I’d seen his films and always thought he was, well, brilliant -- but, you know, a million miles from the world I live in. Or, when John is the owner of a travel book shop and the famous Sherlock Holmes stops in one day.

The Burning by SrebrnaFH (M, 60,658 w. || Reverse Reichenbach, Suicide, Depression, Hurt Sherlock / John, Separation, BAMF John, Good Big Brother Mycroft, Angst, Implied/Referenced Torture, Fake Character Death, Rescue Mission, Reconciliation / Reunion, Hospitalization, Marriage Proposal, Illnesses, Physical Therapy, Happily Ever After) – Something went very, very wrong. John had seemed, if not happy, then reasonably content with his life. Sherlock had never predicted something like THIS might have happened. Not in his worst nightmares. He was the lousiest friend ever, apparently. At least Mycroft found him something to occupy his mind with, so that he didn't have to go back to 221B and stare at the walls and the chair, where John Watson would never sit again.

This Thing All Things Devours by cypress_tree (E, 63,844 w., 15 Ch. || In Time AU || Science Fiction, Dystopian Universe, First Meetings, Action / Adventure, Romance) – In 2169, time is money—literally. Humans are genetically engineered to stop aging at 25, when the numbers on their arm start counting down from one year. When that time is up, they die. The only way to get more time is to earn it, borrow it, or steal it.John Watson lives day-to-day in the crowded slums of Zone 13. He never imagined living any differently—until he meets the practically-immortal Sherlock, and helps him on a case to track a local time-thief...

The Bells of King's College by SilentAuror (E, 64,019 w., 5 Ch. || Post-S4, Missed Opportunities, Angst with Happy Ending, Fake Relationship, Case Fic, John POV, Jealous John, John in Denial, Travelling / Holidays, Virgin Sherlock, Wedding Proposals) – It's only been two weeks since Eurus Holmes disrupted their lives when Mycroft sends John and Sherlock to Cambridge to pose as an engaged couple at a wedding show in the hopes of solving six unsolved deaths...

Hell Sent, Heaven Bound by ConsultingHound (M, 64,381 w, 16 Ch. || Angels / Demons AU ||  Fallen Angel Sherlock / Angel Cop John, Alternate First Meeting, Slow Burn, Case Fic, John & Lestrade are Friends Before Sherlock, BAMF John, Mind Palace John, Friends to Lovers, John in Denial, Sherlock Picks Out John’s Clothing, Clubbing / Dancing, Mildly Jealous John, Awkwardness, Kidnapping, Sherlock’s Mind Palace, Sacrifice, Worried / Anxious Sherlock, Angst with Happy Ending, Immortal to Mortal) – Ex-War healer and current angelic guard John Watson is not having the best day. He overslept, he’s underpaid, and now there’s someone tagging the Council’s building walls. However things may be about to get interesting: there’s an unusual stranger hanging around (the definition of tall, dark, and handsome), a literal underground cult is brewing, and rumblings are coming from hell. Can he keep his neighbourhood safe, how and why is he being connected to all this, and who the hell is Sherlock Holmes?

White Knight by DiscordantWords (M, 69,840 w., 13 Ch. || S4 Compliant/Post S4, Marriage For a Case, Jealous John, Pining John, Janine / Sherlock Fake Relationship, Serial Killers, Case Fic, Undercover as a Couple, Weddings, John is a Mess, Misunderstandings, Wedding Planning, Jealousy, Drunkenness, Love Confessions, Angst with Happy Ending) – Green. The word green was used to convey a great many things. Illness. Envy. Inexperience. Standing there amidst Janine's chattering bridesmaids, watching Sherlock furrow his brow and study fabric swatches, watching him smile and simper and flirt, John thought it a remarkably apt colour choice. Because he felt quite sick to his stomach, he feared the source of said sickness might very well be jealousy, and he had absolutely no idea at all what to do about it. Or: Sherlock needs to fake a relationship for a case. He doesn't ask John.

Being John Watson-ish by elwinglyre (E, 69,902 w., 17 Ch. || Bodysnatcher AU || Author John, Cranky Sherlock, Angst, Sexual Tension, First Kiss / Time, Falling in Love, BAMF John, Past Soldier John, Feelings, Inside Someone’s Brain, Shy Sherlock, Sherlock Loves John, POV Sherlock, Switchlock, Slow Burn, Internal Dialogue, Mental Turmoil) – When consulting detective Sherlock Holmes steps on one toe too many at a crime scene, he's consigned to a desk job in an archaic office on the seventh-and-a-half floor of the New Scotland Yard. It’s in this bleak office that Sherlock discovers a portal into the mind of renowned author John Watson. Grander than his mind palace, this new wonderland affords Sherlock new vistas of experimentation. To learn more about the mystery behind the portal, Sherlock seeks out and befriends Watson. But then it all goes wrong when others find the secret portal door—including the man whose brain he visits.

Just To Hold You Close by sussexbound (E, 70,841 w., 18 Ch. || Alternate First Meeting, Sherlock POV, ASD Sherlock, PTSD John, Demisexual Sherlock, Bisexual John, Cuddling/Snuggling, Platonic Cuddling, Enthusiastic Consent, Bed Sharing, Love Confessions, First Kiss/Time, Sexual Tension, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Cuddle Negotiations, For a Case Until It Isn’t, Hair Petting, Sexual Negotiation, Anxiety, Trust Issues, Slow Burn, Panic Attacks, Frottage, Hand/Blow Jobs, Referenced Self Harm / Abuse / Suicidal Ideation, First Kiss/Time, Anal) – When a woman is murdered and the last person to see her alive is recently invalided army vet turned reluctant (and prickly) professional cuddler, John Watson, Sherlock Holmes is pulled into a world of intimacy and intrigue he never could have imagined. John is a conundrum and mystery: frank yet reserved, tender yet angry, open yet afraid. Sherlock is instantly drawn into his orbit, and begins to feel and desire things he never has before.

The Vapor Variant by 88thParallel (M, 72,684 w., 18 Ch. || PODFIC AVAILABLE || Post-THoB, John Whump, Protective Sherlock, Guilty Sherlock, Anxious/Worried Sherlock, Virgin Sherlock, Angst with Happy Ending, Hurt/Comfort, PTSD John, Slow Burn, Mutual Pining, Suspense, Virus, Sickfic, Big Brother Mycroft) – They stood face to face in the middle of a clearing. The dim light of the moon barely allowed Sherlock to see the glassy terror in John’s eyes and the sweat that glistened off his forehead. His nose was bleeding again, blood dripping in a slow stream from his right nostril. They were both gasping for air, John’s eyes locked on Sherlock’s. There was no recognition there, just wild animal fear. Time stood still for an eternal few seconds, and Sherlock took a shaky breath. “John—”Spell broken, John spun and bolted back into the woods. Still heaving for air, Sherlock took off after him.

Summit Fever by J_Baillier (M, 78,802 w., 18 Ch. || Mountain Climber AU || POV John, Angst, Tragedy, Suicidal Ideation, The Himalayas, Mountain Guide / Doctor John, Mount Climber Sherlock, Loneliness, Drama, Suspense, Slow Burn, Injured Sherlock / Sherlock Whump, Pining John) – After graduating from medical school, John Watson followed his heart to the Himalayas. Ten years later, he's a haunted cynic working for his ex-lover's trekking and mountaineering company. Will leading an expedition to Annapurna I—the most lethal of all the world's highest mountains—shake John out of his reverie, and who is the mystery client added to the group at the last minute?

The Monument of Memory by J_Baillier (M, 79,663 w., 14 Ch. || Post S4 Fix It Fic / S4 is Canon, Angst, Family Drama, Guilt, Case Fic, John Loves Sherlock, Complicated Feelings, Mentalism / Hypnosis, Murder, Grieving John, Sherlock is a Bit Not Good, Team Work, Trust Issues, BAMF John, Psychological Trauma, Protective John, Autistic-Spectrum Sherlock, Parentlock, John POV) –  A genius traumatised by a past he's only beginning to recall. The psychopath sister that time forgot. A missing woman and a mentalist who may or may not be a murderer. And, in the middle of it all, stands John Watson.

Thermocline by J_Baillier (M, 83,557 w., 14 Ch. || Scuba Diving AU || Adventure, Angst, Hurt/Comfort, Marine Archaeology, Asexual Sherlock, Horny John, Relationship Drama, Technical/Scuba/Wreck Diving, Slow Burn, Underwater /  Medical Peril, Doctor John, Hurt Sherlock, Anxious Sherlock, John POV, Protective John, Body Appreciation) – John "Five Oceans" Watson — technical dive instructor, dive accident analyst and weapon of mass seduction — meets recluse professor of maritime archaeology Holmes. As they head out to a remote archipelago off the coast of Guatemala to study and film its shipwrecks for a documentary, will sparks fly or fizzle out?

The Summer Boy by khorazir (T, 94,706 w., 6 Ch. || Post S3/Post TAB/Alternate S4, Friends to Lovers, Flashbacks, Sussex, Bullying, 1980′s Kid Sherlock, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Inexperienced Sherlock, Grief/Mourning, Pining Sherlock, Background Case Fic) – About half a year after the fateful events at Appledore, Sherlock and John embark on a private case in Sussex. For Sherlock, it’s a journey into his past, bringing up memories both happy and sad that he has locked away for almost thirty years. For John, it means coming to terms with the present – and a potential future with Sherlock. Part 1 of the The Summer Boy series

Northwest Passage by Kryptaria (E, 95,157 w., 27 Ch. || PODFIC AVAILABLE || Canadian AU ||  BAMF!John, Canadian John, PTSD, Anal / Oral Sex, Rimming, Emotional Hurt / Comfort, Drug Rehab, Falling in Love, Pining Sherlock, Love Confessions, Sherlock’s Violin, Panic Attacks, Switching, Anxious / Protective Sherlock, Hugs for Comfort, Suicide Mentions, Healing Each Other) – Seven years ago, Captain John Watson of the Canadian Forces Medical Service withdrew from society, seeking a simple, isolated life in the distant northern wilderness of Canada. Though he survives from one day to the next, he doesn't truly live until someone from his dark past calls in a favor and turns his world upside-down with the introduction of Sherlock Holmes." Part 1 of Tales from the Northwest

31_Days_of_Porn_Challenge_2017 Series by distantstarlight (E, 96,540 w. across 31 stories || Prompt Ficlets, Assorted Kinks, PWP) – A collection in response to the 31 Days of Porn Challenge issued by AtlinMerrik! Thanks for doing that because this has been buttload of fun (that joke never gets old). All stories will be brief stand-alone one-shots.

The Baker Street Nativity by SwissMiss (E, 99,662 w., 23 Ch. || Nativity! AU || Teacher Sherlock / TA John, Pining, Sherlock POV, UST, Angst, Christmas, Music/Song Fic, Anal / BJ’s, First Kiss / Time) – Fusion between Sherlock (BBC) and Nativity! (2009 movie starring Martin Freeman). Sherlock is a primary school teacher and John is assigned to be his classroom assistant. Together, they are charged with putting on the school's Nativity play. What could possibly go wrong? Part 1 of The Baker Street Nativity Verse

Given In Evidence by verityburns (M, 97,884 w., 19 Ch. || PODFIC AVAILABLE || Post-TRF, Angst, Drama, Case Fic, Romance, BAMF!John, Submissive Sherlock, First Kiss, Humour) – Coming back from the dead can be a complicated business. With a new case on the horizon, rebuilding a life is one thing... rebuilding a friendship quite another. For Sherlock and John, things may never be just the same...

[faemytho]

I’m not really in the hazbin hotel fandom ((I love the show don’t get me wrong I’m just not in the fandom)) but I kinda wanna see what you mean? Also I figure you’re still okay with people shipping him just either the fact that people ignore that canonical he is aroace sex repulsed or use it as a “oh we just have to fix him” trope (which fuck that trope)

Same asker that admitted to not really being in the hazbin hotel fandom but liking the show- thought it over and i actually don’t know how you could do Alstser (can’t spell bare with me) without having him as aroace sex repulsed without having him look barely anything like the original- maybe apart from that fic you made a while back

-

okay so, in regards to this post i made earlier about aroace romantic/sex repulsed alastor, that was a headcanon. (i said, and i quote, its canon bc i said so, but in reality ive fooled u all it was just a headcanon i even said so in the tags)

my headcanons aside, alastor IS canonically ace, as referenced by this tweet below (and hey, canon bi character!!! we love that!!)

there is also a footnote on the HH wiki that says alastor is aromantic as well, but the footnote links to a four hour stream video, and i do not actually have the patience to comb through it to see if that's true or not (or if it even came from the mouth of vivzie)

uh, yeah. here's the link to the stream, in case anyone wanted it/was curious.

canonicities aside, lets get one thing out of the way:

i am all for ignoring canon, using fandom to do whatever you want, ect ect, all power to the fans and whatnot, do what you want and be free because its fiction

which means, yes, i am 1000% okay with people shipping alastor with whoever they want! with angel, with charlie, with husk, with vaggie, with nifty, ect ect ect, i don't care, ship what you want, be free, live your best life.

my problem, though, is this: literally nobody in this fandom knows how to write an ace character. and when they do write him as "ace", its OFFENSIVE.

i cannot COUNT the amount of alastor fics ive read where he's supposedly written as asexual (and its usually even tagged in the fic tags, "asexual character"), then ends up sexually attracted to his given partner for that fic, and when they actually go to do the deed, alastor is infantilized to, well, hell and back. and by that, i mean a few things.

he either:

doesn't understand his sudden sexual attraction and/or sexual feelings

doesn't understand what's going on during the sex scene

doesn't know the proper terms for body parts and sexual processes

is HIGHLY feminized and is categorized as "submissive" while the partner becomes the "dominant" and continues on with the sex scene

not only is that fourth one misogynistic and homophobic (an entire other can of worms about how feminine sub/masculine dom in homosexual relationships enforces toxic heteronormativity, aka, the idea that one must "be the girl" and one must "be the man"), but all four of these together are aphobic when you realize, "hey, alastor is an ace character".

off my point a little bit, but ANY relationship (gay, straight, and/or otherwise) should not be using sub/dom as a model to follow - sub/dom is a BDSM kink thing; it should NOT be the normalized sex model for ANY relationship.

there's nothing wrong with kink! but doing BDSM wrong can severely hurt/mentally damage either partner if done incorrectly. normalizing it means that so many young people don't actually understand what sub/dom actually means, and even less the consequences if done wrong.

but back to my point: asexual people get infantilized. and we get infantilized often, because people think "oh, you're not interested in sex/you've never had sex, so you must not 1) know anything about it, 2) know anything about the real world and how nitty gritty it is to survive out here"

basically, ace people get treated like children. a lot.

here is a fantastic article that explains the rampant infantilization of both aro and ace people, and why it is aphobic to do that.

i highly recommend you all read the article, because it is fantastically well written and concise. here's my favorite paragraph:

"Society conditions us to believe that a lack of romantic or sexual attraction is a transitory period. This viewpoint assumes an inevitable progression from a nonsexual to sexual state of being that marks entry into adulthood. Similarly, engaging in romantic relationships is recognized as a milestone of maturity. This stereotyping results in the infantilization of all aromantic and asexual spectra people, especially those who are entirely romance and/or sex-averse. It also incorrectly characterizes asexual people as sex-negative, even though personal sex-aversion and general sex positivity are not mutually exclusive. Moreover, the idea of “being ready” to progress from friendships to romantic and sexual relations undermines the value of platonic relationships, which are integral to our community."

i'm going to move on to one more point, because i know if i don't, i'll get SO many alastor allo-pologist authors whining and screaming about how ace people can have sex too

and yes, here's the thing: asexual people can have sex, can want to have sex, can be sex positive... but that doesn't change the fact that to be not-asexual (or allosexual, if you'd like to use proper terms), you have to be sexually attracted or experience sexual attraction - WHICH IS NOT THE SAME THING AS HAVING A LIBIDO, AND ITS NOT SOMETHING ACE PEOPLE CAN DO/HAVE.

what ace people can have:

a libido

sex

sexual arousal

sex drive

kinks

a partner they're not necessarily sexually attracted to, but trust to have sex with them anyways

what ace people can't have (unless they're not actually ace and are instead allosexual):

sexual attraction to someone

wanting to have sex with a specific person because of this attraction (a partner, celebrity, people they find explicitly attractive)

still confused? don't be!

here's a post where i better explain the difference between sexual attraction vs sexual drive and what that means for ace people

to close this out, im going to attempt to summarize why im so pissed about this.

alastor is canonically asexual.

he may be sex negative, sex neutral, or sex positive; we don't know, but this is fandom and we're allowed to headcanon him however we wish - we can even headcanon him as not asexual!

which is great, yea, but when the ace character is the fan favorite...

people constantly and consistently write alastor as "ace".

which would be GREAT! if they ever did it correctly.

here's what i see most often. instead of headcanoning him as not asexual, they've heard something about how ace people can have sex anyways!

so for woke points, they slap their alastor ship/sex fics with the "asexual character" tag, and write alastor in one of two ways

uwu baby "ive never said a bad word in my life and i dont understand how the world works" asexual

allosexual, but call him ace anyways

both of those are aphobic. i have yet to come across ONE fic where alastor's asexuality (negative, neutral, or positive) is written, and labeled, CORRECTLY.

you know, it actually hurts MORE when he's written as "ace (actually allo)" than it does if people just headcanon him as not asexual.

alastor is a successful serial killer. he has spent decades in hell.

ALASTOR IS A SUCCESSFUL SERIAL KILLER. HE HAS SPENT DECADES IN HELL.

and you cowards are going to write him as inexperienced, ""innocent"", sexually uneducated?? i think the fuck NOT.

NOT ONLY THAT.

alastor lived through the roaring 20s. the flapper movement. the harlem renaissance. AND the sexual revolution of the 1920s. HE LIVED THROUGH ALL OF THAT. and you're going to act like he doesn't know what sex is?? we even KNOW he lived through all that because he says it himself, "i havent been that entertained since the stock market crash of 1929", and 1929 was the end of all those movements and the beginning of the great depression - and then alastor died in 1933 after living a successful serial killer life in louisiana.

tell me again, why wouldn't alastor know what sex is or how it works? and if you can't, THEN STOP WRITING HIM LIKE THAT.

please please PLEASE educate yourself before you write an asexual character. ESPECIALLY if you're going to write them with a libido, and actually ACTING on that libido.

thank you.

sincerely, an exhausted sex positive asexual.

[thetypedwriter]

Loveboat, Taipei Book Review

Loveboat, Taipei Book Review by Abigail Hing Wen 

This book is solid. The few people I’ve foisted conversation onto about this book have heard me lavishly declare it to be the YA teenie-bop version of Crazy Rich Asians. 

And while I maintain that my statement above is still true, the book also contained some other elements that either came across as a breath of fresh air or a polluted cloud of toxicity that made me cough and wheeze. 

As for the general synopsis, it’s pretty simple all things considered. You have Ever Wong, a senior who is stressed about college applications, her own future potential, disappointing her parents, and ignoring the unrequited love she has for her best friend’s boyfriend. She also happens to be Chinese-American. 

Ever’s identity as growing up Asian in the predominantly white-as-bread state of Ohio is kicked off quite strongly from the get-go. Ever talks about how the said pining of her best friend’s boyfriend could have not been pining and instead could have been her, but that he was unwilling to put up with her crazy Asian parents and their strict limitations. 

She talks about how her dad, a revered surgeon in Taipei, has been relegated to pushing medical carts in hospitals in the States for the last twenty years as they wouldn’t recognize his medical degree. 

She discusses how she and the only other Aisan kid in her class have an unspoken rule of not looking at each other or calling attention to one another as to not emphasize their Asianness. 

As you can probably tell without having me list off a litany of other examples, this book heavily concentrates on race, identity, family, and self-control. 

At the beginning of the novel, Ever is a shy, timid girl whose willing to give up her dreams of dancing because it’s what's expected of her after all her parents have sacrificed to raise her in America. 

But then her mother sells her black pearl necklace to send Ever to Chien Tan, an immersion program in Taipei where thousands of Asian-American kids are sent for the summer, for the purpose of learning the culture, language, and other specialized skills like Chinese medicine, calligraphy, ribbon dancing and stick fighting. 

Ever is reluctant at first, desperate to stay back and find a way to keep dancing, but as her mother literally throws her leotard in the dumpster, Ever knows it’s a losing battle. 

So she goes. And she is amazingly transformed. 

The rest of the book details Ever’s excursions with finding friends and love, immersing herself in the culture that Taipei has to offer, coming to terms with her own identity and race, growing up, making mistakes, hitting a low point, and then getting back up again to achieve her dreams and fight for what she believes in. 

Now, the highlight of this book is definitely the representation, the talk of race and culture, and the actual experiences of Chien Tan, more commonly referred to by the kids who attend as Loveboat, drawn from the author Abigail Hing Wen herself. 

Loveboat, as they call it, is an actual program that the author Wen and others attended and still attend. It’s obvious just from reading how much of Ever’s experience is drawn from the author’s herself and that IS ALWAYS AN AMAZING THING. 

One of the first pieces of writing advice I Ever (hahahha sorry, not sorry) received was to write what you know. Wen does this and knocks it out of the park. Loveboat comes alive with her writing, flowing from page to page seamlessly. 

She crafts it with such care and consideration that you feel like you’re there yourself, down to what the dorms look like with sticking doors, what they serve for breakfast, and the electives offered for academic selections. All of these little details brought such life and realism to the story and it made it an incredibly engaging read. 

Add on Wen’s real talk of race, racism, identity, and the struggle for identity, and you indeed have a delectable concoction of raw representation from a person of color who has experienced these things first-hand. 

Authors of color and representation in YA of characters of color have improved drastically in the last few years, but it’s still something to be expanded upon, drawn from, and encouraged and explored. 

Wen’s story is almost entirely made of Asian teenagers of differing backgrounds and experiences, and it was honestly so nice to not read about another white girl from a white girl. The story was real and filled with culture and struggle, but also beauty, friendship, and acceptance. 

All of these things hark back to why I call this book solid. 

Now onto why I don’t call this book great. 

I legitimately would have preferred if this book focused more on Ever’s identity as Ai-Mei, her struggle between wanting to be a dancer and not crushing her parents’ soul by rejecting the medical career they so want her to be in, and immersing herself in all the wonderful sights, smells, and experiences Taipei had to offer.

 Of course, love and friendship and drama should play a role, this is YA after all, but personally I felt like the romance dominated the book almost entirely, shoving the questions of race and identity and struggle to the backdrop of a pretty redundant love triangle. 

Which. We’re over the love triangle people, stop writing them. 

But really, I understand that the two don’t need to be mutually exclusive, and oftentimes, Ever’s struggle with her race and identity went hand-in-hand with her struggles for romance, but there was JUST. SO. MUCH. OF. IT.  

It was like an episode of the Bachelor if the Bachelor would stop casting white people as their main lead. Every other chapter was a pretty cliched rendition of some kind of romance trope: the bad boy that draws, the arrogant boy that predictably has a heart, but also a girlfriend, the so-called girlfriend flying out to Taipei, the evil stuck-up girl, literal running into chests moments, shirtless of course, and so many more to offer. 

For an author doing incredible things on the front of representation and real talk about stereotypes, racism, and prejudice, I found her book pretty stereotypical of a YA romance itself. 

There were several plot points that were also just incredibly predictable (the nude photos, my god, saw that from a mile away) that made reading this book just a little bit lackluster when I otherwise was really enjoying it. 

Unfortunately, the biggest turn-off this book had for me other than the recycled plot and the ridiculous, predictable, rampant love triangle were the characters themselves. They all kind of...sucked. 

They aren’t awful, by any stretch of the imagination, but they’re also not special either. Other than the fact that they’re Chinese, Chinese-American, or identify as another minority, and the implicit struggles and nuances that come with it, they were like any other archetypal character that I tend to dislike. 

By that I mean that many of the characters I found extremely one-dimensional. 

Each character had about two things about them that defined their whole characters. 

Now, not to blind you with my nerdiness, but other than books, I also am quite the connoisseur of anime. This book, in a lot of ways, comes across as a printed form of anime to me. 

There is a term in anime called Isekai which roughly translates to “accidental travel” and is saturated with shows all about people falling into magical worlds unpredictably. 

Additionally (stay with me here), anime is also quite infamous for having very archetypal characters where one or two traits dominate their whole being so completely as that is the only thing about them that comes across. 

Loveboat, Taipei in my eyes, is literally a print form of an Isekai. Which is not a compliment.

I really wanted to like Ever, Sophie, Rick, and Xavier, the predominant characters along with a whole cast of others. But I kind of...didn’t. Frankly, there wasn’t much to like or know about them. 

Ever’s character was dominated by her love for dancing and her determination to break from her parent’s protective shell, Sophie was a bossy bitch, Rick was Wonder Boy incarnate, Xavier was brooding and artistic-see where I’m going here?

Even the side characters were all identified by one thing-Marc with politics, Matteo with anger, Benji with being baby-faced. I understand that this is one novel and that it’s extremely hard to flesh out characters and unfold nuances and depth, but I personally found Loveboat, Taipei to be lacking in this quality, exceptionally so. 

Ever especially I found irritating. On some levels, I understand that Wen was trying to depict her as a flawed character who makes mistakes and learns from them, trying to represent the growth of her character and blooming into herself, but more often than not, I found her selfish, immature, and aggravating. 

When you add on that Rick is head-over-heels in love with her (as is Xavier) for reasons that don’t really make sense or are legitimately earned in the story, then the romance feels forced and falls apart, hence me wishing Wen focused more on other elements rather than romance. 

This plot contrivance, everyone, is what I lovingly call Bella Swan Syndrome-when a hot guy or vice versa falls in love with someone who legitimately doesn’t deserve it or the love is inorganic or just flat out doesn’t make sense. 

Wen attempted the whole hate-to-love thing, which I love, but also which I genuinely think failed here due to the romance being subpar and undeserved. 

Combine my lack of any real attachment to any character with the trite that was the romance, but mix it in with the praises above of realism and representation and you end at solid. 

Recommendation: If you are sick of the white people, I hear you. If you’ve been looking for books heavily centered on POC characters or written by authors of color, then I’m with you there as well. This book is a great novel for discussions of race and identity and for those Crazy Rich Asians fans out there. However, do not expect this to be the pinnacle of romance, story, or characterization, which unfortunately, falls below average on this one. 

Score: 6/10

[thelegendofclarke]

Hi! I love your blog and I’m fascinated about your personality, you seem such a wonderful person! Could you share with us, dear followers, about life lessons you learned in your life? I trust that you have some few good advice. P.S. Your tags are the best, they are gold!

Hey anon!

well first of all i want to apologize to you because it has been approximately TWELVE HUNDRED YEARS since you sent me this ask and i have truly been The Worst™ about answering my asks. and THANK YOU SO MUCH for your kind words, you are so sweet ❤ ❤ ❤

i really wanted to answer this with some variation on “my advice is to never ask me for advice” lol because i have no idea what i’m doing. like seriously, 95% of the time this is a fly by the seat of my pants, fake it til ya make it operation. BUT i made you wait SO LONG and i didn’t want to leave you hanging, so i made you a list of some Random Life Lessons i’ve accumulated during my sad, sorry existence on this earth.

HERE WE GO…

Never assume you are the smartest person in the room.

You are never too old to use Johnson & Johnson baby products, go to Chuck-E-Cheese, enjoy a nice ice cream cake, or eat Lunchables.

You are not bound or beholden to anyone else’s perception of you… Fuck them, they don’t know your life.

Dear dudes: if when you say “boys don’t like when girls…” Our response is ALWAYS going to be “girls don’t gaf.”

Don’t waste any of your time fucking with people who are committed to misunderstanding you.

You see a relationship needs to be mutually beneficial. If you’re both not getting something you want it’s a bad relationship.

The high road is like, the worst road ever and annoying af while you’re one it… but at the end of the day, taking it will probably make you feel better about yourself.

Pickle juice is an EXCELLENT chaser.

Let your instincts and the hair on the back of your neck dictate what you do, NOT politeness.

If someone is constantly accusing you of cheating on them it’s because they are cheating on you constantly.

JELL-O No-Bake Boxed Cheesecake is actually pretty damn good.

Never let anyone make you feel like you owe them anything more than yourself.

Blavy is terrible and does not look good on ANYONE. I don’t care that Tom Ford and Marc Jacobs said it’s ok now… It’s not.

Don’t care about what people say behind your back. Theres a reason why they’re behind you.

Find good friends that you trust that you can be an asshole with in private so you don’t act like an even bigger asshole in public.

Don’t ever let anyone make you feel shitty or belittle you for caring about things; and the same goes for getting excited about things.

Related to the above, don’t ever belittle or go out of your way to make people feel shitty about the things they can and get excited about. It’s truly one of the meanest things you can do.

Whenever you get to a new campus, whether it be uni or grad school or study abroad, ALWAYS walk to where all your classes will be BEFORE the term starts. Seriously, the walking estimated time on the maps thingies are full of shit.

Don’t ever say “i’m sorry you feel that way” to people. Honestly, you sound like a douche. And you’re not sorry.

If you ever get to a point in a relationship where you are seriously considering cheating on your significant other, just break up with them. It’s time.

Learn at least one self defense move… It doesn’t matter if it’s a kick or a punch or whatever. just make sure you know one and make sure you know it really well.

There is a difference between “being a risk taker” and “being a dumbass.” You’ll know it when you see it.

The same goes for things like “being realistic” vs. “being a fucking bummer”… Just kep an eye out ya know?

If you have had a disagreement with someone but you guys talk it out and decide you are going to move on from it, move on from it. If you are still angry, you need to let the other person know that.

Never, NEVER, let your first date with someone be to a wedding.

Same goes for funerals, bar/bat mitzvah’s, quinces, or any other large family gathering. at least go out for coffee first or something.

It doesn’t matter how far away from his mamma he moves, a mamma’s boy will always be a mamma’s boy.

“Brutal honesty” is called that because it usually involves brutalizing someone. so ask yourself, is your brutality really needed or appreciated?

Standing up for yourself shouldn’t involve walking all over someone else or making them feel shitty. Those 2 things should not be mutually exclusive.

Never let a teacher or authority figure make you feel stupid for not being good enough at certain school subjects.

Trust your instincts about the following: boys, friends, people trying to sell you shit, people trying to get you to sign shit.

If for any reason you are in a situation where police are involved, do NOT speak to them without a lawyer, parent, or some kind of other advocate present

It’s ok to wait to get your license until you feel ready to drive

Don’t worry about your weight. It fluctuates as you grow because your insides are growing too. It is natural.

if you notice something about someone’s appearance and they can’t fix it right away, don’t tell them. For example, if you are at a bar with friends, Good: “hey you have lipstick on your teeth.” Bad: “hey that shirt is really unflattering.”

Don’t every tell anyone someone “loves them in their own way.” it’s shitty. don’t say it… there is no wrong way to love someone, but there are things that are not love.

You don’t have to be anyone’s sidekick friend… You are no one’s sidekick.

“Be stubborn about your goals but flexible about your methods.”

Get rid of stuff you don’t use. Unused and unappreciated things make us feel bad.

Listen to Dolly Parton’s “Jolene” slowed down to 33 rpm, at least once in your life.

If a dude ever tells you in all seriousness that he loves fight club and/or Tyler Durden, run. Run fast, and run far.

If you ever find yourself wondering if you sound or are being condescending, you are.

Know how to cook at least one thing well enough that you can do it from memory. even if its just pasta or chicken or something… there will come a time in your life where you are going to have to unexpectedly feed yourself. don’t be caught unprepared.

Try to avoid doing the following: making promises when you are really excited. responding when you are angry. making decisions when you are sad.

You have to be willing to cut off people who make you unhappy. it’s going to really suck and you are going to feel really guilty. and chances are they are going to get pissed and it will be very unpleasant. but you have to cut off toxic relationships. The only thing toxic that you should still be in contact with is that song Britney Spears made, because that song is lit af.

And going along with that, life is too short to pretend like you don’t love britney spears or taylor swift or whatever pop music makes you happy. seriously, if people are going to give you shit about that, they can kiss your ass.

When you make a to do list add a few things that you have already done or that you can get done in the next hour or so, because it feels really good to cross things off.

Going back to an old relationship is like rewatching a movie and expecting a different ending to happen… spoiler alert: ain’t nothing gonna change

Never mistake kindness for weakness or silence for stupidity.

“One of the biggest lies we’re told is that ‘everything happens for a reason.’ Allow yourself to remember that accidents happen, and not all of them have to shape your life. Try to let go of toxic people and situations that are harming you. Not all lessons are worth learning the hard way. Take care of yourself.”

If someone is complaining to you about something and you are going to give them advice, ask first. say “do you want advice or do you just need to vent?” because unwanted advice when someone is already annoyed is never going to help the situation.

Telling someone to “calm down” has never worked. ever. in all of history… I’ve checked. Repeatedly.

“You all have a little bit of ‘I want to save the world’ in you, that’s why you’re here, in college. I want you to know that it’s okay if you only save one person, and it’s okay if that person is you.”

When you can’t be honest with people, you can’t ever relax with them.

Don’t listen to the people who tell you ‘if you give up, you never wanted it in the first place.’ Sometimes, it’s okay to give up on things.

All relationships have to have mutual effort… If they wanna talk to you, they will. If they wanna be with you, they will. If they wanna make things work, they will. Don’t let things be one sided. It’s not healthy, and it’s not fair to you.

You deserve friends who treat you with love and respect. You deserve friends that listen to you. You deserve friends that try to understand your feelings and respect them. You deserve positive and healthy friendships. Don’t settle for less.

Don’t take yourself too seriously… Sometimes ridiculous, dumb shit is gonna happen to you and you should recognize it for what it is: a really good story you can tell at parties.

It’s really, really important to realize that missing someone or something and wanting it back are two very, very different things.

Don’t let anyone tell you that it’s a bad thing to feel things deeply. A full heart is a strong heart and being soft doesn’t make you weak. Being soft and loving makes you radiant. you deserve all of the love in the world and so many good things.

Everyone (including your family, your coworkers, and your best friend) will talk about you behind your back, and you’ll talk about them too. It doesn’t mean you don’t love each other.

There are some people who will nitpick and dwell over your tiniest faults just to make them feel superior. Leave them be to find satisfaction. Only the insecure think that another’s flaws and shortcomings can become their own merits.

You’re not fake simply because you act differently depending on the person you’re with. Different personalities bring out different aspects of your personality. You’re complex and multidimensional and you contain fucking multitudes man; it’s beautiful.

Whenever you go somewhere new, try to go to at least one restaurant recommended by a local. Seriously, 9 times out of 10 it will be the best meal you have on the whole trip.

Please, for the love of god, just walk your drunk friends to the door. Sooo much can happened between your car and the door.

Learn the difference between something that makes you feel bad, and something that’s wrong. A thing can feel bad and be right, and it can feel good and be wrong… In the end, being able to look at yourself in the mirror will end up being the most important thing.

If you need to stop for any reason in a public place, move off to the side first.

Unless it’s been agreed about before hand, don’t keep score about paying for things. If you offer to pay for something, don’t do it with the expectation that you must be reciprocated later.

Honestly, don’t keep score with anything tbh. Half the time people don’t know they are playing in the first place.

If you wear a kick ass outfit but don’t see anyone the day you wear it, it’s ok to wear it again the next day.

Be aware of the toxic and intoxicating effect of bad moods.

Unless you are the DD or don’t drink, avoid being the least sober person in the room. just, trust me.

Never settle for less than you deserve, if you’re unhappy move on you will find happiness eventually and when you do it will be such a wonderful feeling.

Some people are just naturally good at things, it happens. Don’t measure yourself against those people. That is just asking for a migraine and an inferiority complex.

Try not to use the excuse “because that’s how other people do it”… Sometimes you need to do better than the people that came before you.

It is perfectly reasonable to judge someone based on their politics. Peoples’ politics reflect their opinions on damn near everything.

If you are going to have a casual sexual relationship with someone (aka have a fuck buddy) be real clear about those Terms and Conditions a head of time.

If you can only be clever or funny at the expense of others or their feelings, you aren’t actually clever or funny. You’re just a bully.

People who say “learn to take a joke” or “learn to laugh at yourself” can never take a joke or laugh at themselves. I know this to be true to a fault. 

Don’t use words when you don’t know what they mean… I know this sounds stupid, but seriously. You would be shocked. Just don’t do it.

Sex should never be painful (unless there is explicit consent) or make you uncomfortable… There is a HUGE difference between trying something that is outside your sexual comfort zone and doing sexual things that make you feel bad or uncomfortable. And anyone pushing you do to the latter is not someone you need to be in a relationship with, sexually or otherwise.

For the love of god and all that is holy and unholy… BE AWARE OF YOUR FACIAL EXPRESSIONS.

Never give anyone else control over your mental health or mental state.

Try to stay away from people who hit/throw things when they are angry or get really angry when they are drunk.

Don’t approach relationships with people with the goal of like, changing or saving or educating them. That’s not your job.

If someone goes after your looks or your intelligence, it means they have nothing else to say.

If you are going to make people feel shitty for being a virgin OR for having sex, you are an asshole. Bottom line. No exceptions.

If you are gonna fuck around with Ouija boards and shit like that, be ready for what you are getting yourself into.

Pick one day a week where you clean or tidy your personal space. You will feel so much better about life.

Sometimes you are going to have to do things you don’t want to do or go places you don’t want to go because someone you love wants to. If your bff wants to go to a concert for a band you don’t like/have never heard of for their birthday or see a movie you don’t really want to see, just do it. Small things like that can make people so happy. You are doing it because you care, you aren’t forfeiting anything.

Don’t let people take advantage of your or walk all over you or take things out on you… a) they may not even realize they ARE doing it and will KEEP doing, or b) they will know they CAN and they will KEEP doing it.

Not every Hill has to be The Hill You Will Die On… Like, you can just camp out there for a little while. it’s fine.

Try to buy a few extra birthday/special occasion cards and like $5-$10 gifts cards to Starbucks or Target or something like that to have one hand. Because i am telling you rn, there will come a time where you will completely forget someone important’s birthday.

There are going to be people who hate you based solely on what someone else told them about you. Yes it’s shitty. But 9 times out of 10 no, neither of them are worth your effort.

There are also going to be people who hate you for no particular reason and get pissed off about everything you do. don’t try to appease them because it will just make you hate yourself… At some point EVERYONE is someone’s “Bitch Eating Crackers.” You should just keep eating your crackers.

Likewise, if you find yourself getting pissed off or annoyed at everything someone does, don’t interact with them. You are just going to prolong your own pain, suffering, and pissiness.

A lot of the time, headaches can be cured by one of the following: sleep, food, water, tylenol, or loosening your ponytail… Make sure to try al those before you start freaking out about having a brain tumor.

The whole “nothing good happens after 2 am” thing is a myth… If you are out and having fun, stay out. Have fun!

Spite can actually be a really good motivator. seriously, it can make you so productive… just don’t let it make you insufferable.

Ignore 1-star and 5-star reviews of books, hotels and products. The 3-star reviews will answer all your actual questions.

Learn keyboard shortcuts. If you don’t know what CTRL + Z does, your life is definitely harder than it has to be.

If it ever comes down to other people liking you and you liking yourself, always pick yourself. ALWAYS… Being able to look at yourself in the mirror at the end of the day it highly underrated.

Verbal, emotional, mental and financial abuse are STILL ABUSE… And you don’t have to put up with that shit.

If you are ever about to bitch someone out, take a breath and count to 100 before doing it. It will give you time to either calm down and walk away OR think of really good insults.

Even the nicest people have their limits. Don’t try to reach that point because the nicest people are also the scariest assholes when they’ve had enough… “Demons run when a good man goes to war.”

Things that you should try to never start a sentence with: “no offense,” “not to be rude,” “well actually.”

Splurge on cute underwear, good booze, and fancy food every once in a while. it’s totally worth it.

Every occasion can be a dress up, champagne, and fancy china occasion if you believe in yourself.

People who are nice to you but mean to waiters, retail workers, animals, or their mothers are not actually nice people.

It is just as important to be aware of and acknowledge what you don’t know as it is to be aware of and acknowledge what you do know.

If you unironically use the term “friendzone” you deserve to get punched in the face and/or kicked on the ass… Idgasf what the context or situation is, you absolutely deserve it!

Every good relationship should be mutually beneficial and must have mutual trust, mutual respect, and mutual effort… If it doesn’t have one of these, it’s not a good relationship.

There’s gonna come a point in time in your life when you are going to start to feel icky if you go too long with out eating a fruit and/or vegetable… It’s gonna be around the same general time when you should start taking a daily multivitamin.

Your sexuality is what you say it is. Period. And it’s ok if you don’t know exactly what that is right now or if it changes at any time in the future. Fuck anyone who tells you otherwise, they can get bent.

You are not required to disclose any kind of personal information about yourself and no one is entitled to that information in order for you and your opinion to be respected… However, if you are going to argue a point or hold yourself out as a representative of a certain minority/class/demographic, there is probably going to come a point in time where you need to back up your arguments with the necessary information. Just be prepared to put your money where your mouth is.

Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, I’m pretty sure you’re still being a dick… Don’t take advantage of peoples’ faith or trust in you. It’s a dick move, just don’t do it.

The same goes for not cheating on your significant others or betraying your friends… Seriously it is SO EASY to not treat people like shit. It takes slim to no effort.

Be aware that when you make blanket statements about groups of people, there are really no such things as exclusionary or exception clauses… Like, you can’t tell someone in that group “but i’m not talking about YOU” because you are. You are talking about them. That’s just, quite literally, how making generalizations works.

STAY IN YOUR LANE! When you have to get over be polite and USE YOUR GODDAMN BLINKER... This applies to sooo many things in life besides just driving.

[vampanic]

okay here’s what i remember from THE CON

i can’t remember if the ticket was cheap or pricey. i don’t know why. i wanna say it was more expensive or of equal value to a bigger con and i justified it to my parents and myself because it was the first one. but i went because i thought the idea of a con that was centered on the various fandoms popular on this site at the time was a genuinely neat idea. i also thought, okay let me just go because it’s another one to attend.

i should note: that have been to a lot conventions in my time. i’ve been to acen twice i think? i’ve been to nebkon twice. sadly i have never been to c2e2 or flashback chicago (which i may never get to go to now whoops) and i’ve been to wizard world chicago i wanna say 4 times?

now at these cons (mostly wizard world) these fandoms aren’t as present. in fact, the main demo of that con was adult to middle age to older visitors as well as families, so usually teens and young adults would find each other at this con (whether planned ahead or by accident there) and freak the fuck out over our cosplays or mutual love of whatever.

so because of this again the idea of a t.umblr con was exciting to me, even though i was already at the end of being interested in those fandoms (as i’m sure most people were at the time)

okay so first, this con was far. wizard world and acen are held at the rosemont convention center which while kind of far from where i live, is accessible by train via downtown or via one of chicago’s big airports. i always got a ride though which with summer traffic, took forever. so much like that this con was a journey away.

the hotel the con choose i remember thinking it seemed new, but it was far from where i lived which inpacted the amount of time i spent at the con and the decision to only go two days (i didn’t return the last day because it was a shit show)

i went to this con by myself because i think at this point i had already had a falling out with my friend who i went to cons in the area with (she did not attend that i know of). i wore two cosplays that i had made already for other things, gwen stacy and america chavez. this would have been the ideal place for me to cosplay something more niche, but i just didn’t care that much about it. maybe i didn’t think it was worth it at the time since it wasn’t going to be a big con.

so i get there and there’s no long line to get my badge in fact i don’t even remember a line at all. which, for me, was bizarre. every con i’ve been to before had huge lines even on off hours to get badges. but whatever. i cant remember if where i got my badge was in the the same room as where the ball pit was or not. but yes, i did go into the ball pit and i was silly in it with some other people because

idk you see a ball pit you go in the ball pit? in hindsight i know it’s not acceptable to have this at a con, but shit i guess i was high on life at the time. someone took a pic of me in the pit, but i have never seen it.

i remember seeing some very impressive cosplays at this con. i also bought some really great art in the dealers room which was small. (here’s the artist. also this was nonfandom art. i don’t remember buying anything else from anyone because i don’t think i saw anything i liked/could afford) there was no unlicensed night vale merch sold here that i remember, but i do remember receiving free unlicsenced night vale like pamphlets from a random vendor and also  there was a vendor who was giving away a large piece of night vale fan art with a purchase of over something dollars i dont remember.

panels: i don’t remember there being many panels or even very interesting panels. panels i remember going to include: bisexuality in media/bisexuality representation (which was put on by the bisexualbooks tumblr), ask an avenger (which was put on by various marvel cosplayers), and a panel that was about female characters in supernatural (i was a spn stan back in the day jsyk).

the bi one was good. i remember it being the most like a panel that you’d go to at a larger convention. they had slides and info and they took questions and had several speakers.

the avengers one was what we’d call today “cringey” but it was cute. it was exactly what it sounds like. avengers cosplayers sat up on a stage answering questions in character. i believe that all the cosplayers had rp and/or ask blogs which is why they were chosen.

the supernatural panel was, like the bi one, complete with slides and various speakers, but from what i remember it was mostly going down the list of female characters in the show. i remember from the fandom that there a good chunk of people who love the characters, but they’re often killed off or abandoned and this is something a lot of fans did have gripes with. this is gonna sound fake when i say it, but this did happen, we got to charlie and someone said “yeah i like charlie she’s cool because she’s a lesbian but she doesn’t act like one like she’s still feminine” and i spoke up and said “well yeah it’s cool she’s a lesbian, but what do you mean she doesn’t act like one. like queer female character shouldn’t have to be feminine to be seen as good rep.” and people clapped. i know that sounds fake, but please believe me because this is a setting where people are inclined to clap when they agree with statements. people clapped at others too.

i also attended the costume contest, the night vale panel, and the meet and greet with doug jones.

the contest was fine. there was one individual at this con who i can’t name because i didnt know their name, but they cosplayed as ed from edd ed and eddy and they were in character the whole time to the point of discomfort. it wasn’t just for the contest i found myself in a cards against humanity game that they were in and it was even there and it was weird.

then the night vale panel happened and ooooooooohhhh boy

this was the most filled room in the whole con. a main reason i went to this con was to see them and im pretty sure this was everyone’s main reason to go. i known someone from other cons who came from florida to see this. (fun fact: we were mutuals on various platforms and had hung out at various cons and i knew their name, but they could not remember mine and i thought that was bogus so i ghosted them. dont know if i was justified in that but whatever)

so here we all were waiting. for over an hour. during this time people talked and i remember someone cosplaying the glow cloud went up and down the isle with a little glow cloud baby in a stroller and we all laughed and cheered. people started playing card games. we kept busy. for me though.

this was one of the most boring cons i’ve been to honestly. i’m having trouble remember a lot of it and that’s because i went solo. i had no friends there. i cosplayed gwen from like the 60s and this was before spidey joined the mcu and before itsv was a thing so spidey was basically an niche fandom (i was active in the tasm and dane deha.an fandoms at this time and the latter became toxic as fuck but that’s a whole other story) or something older comic fans liked.

my other cosplay was america chavez from young avengers which never got that popular either (though kate bishop and kid loki where more recognized, but for their connection to bigger marvel names). so it wasn’t like other cons where my cosplay was an ice breaker and i could join groups. i was alone.

so a lot of the con for that reason was awkward and waiting for night vale was like being the person texting in the corner at a distant relative’s party because they know no one.

so they finally come on stage to say that night vale will not be performing and people went ballistic people were shouting and the person said “we have doug jones in the next hall you should go over to that” and someone yelled “WE DON’T WANT TO SEE HIM”

i went to see doug jones and i was previously unaware of what his name was but i knew who he was. he talked about his work and acting process and did a meet and greet after. mr. jones was a delight and i’m wondering how they even got him there in the first place. he was leagues above this. 

i had to leave the con early that day to go to my brother’s football game, but i believe that was the night they “protested” at the con and i kept seeing on tumblr that it was cancelled. i decided not to go back the next day because i was unsure of what was happening and because it was too far.

and the rest is history. i’m sure i went to other panels, but i can’t remember them. i do remember going into the room where they were watching pacific rim, but it was on a shitty projection screen and i wanted to go to a panel instead.

it’s shitty what happened with the con. and a lot of the unrest came from literal teens who were cheated from money who didn’t know how to act, but all the responsibility goes to the people who organized it poorly. The concept of a tu.mblr con i don’t think should have been inherently bad. i think it would have been cool to have a con that focused on more niche interests. but shouldn’t have been as big as they wanted it to be for the first go.

anyway that’s most of what i can remember. it’s kind of blur because i spent most of it by myself and there wasn’t much to do so i didn’t even spend the whole day there.

quite frankly, i’m glad i wasn’t there when they started singing les mis because i have no idea how i would have acted.

[pr-ay-the-gay-away]

I loved what you had to say in the last Ask you answered, that being said, how can a commoner such as myself grow from just reading Celeb mags and tabloids to truly understanding the industry and being more media literate. What steps should I take? What could I read to better understand this world? I really would like to follow what you did to become media literate.

“how can a commoner such as myself grow from just reading Celeb mags and tabloids to truly understanding the industry and being more media literate”

Well first off, we’re all “commoners” here. Both you and I.

Consider this: media literacy and the consumption of celeb mags and tabloids are not mutually exclusive concepts. Being more media literate does not mean foregoing the consumption of certain types of media. Consume all the media you want and can handle healthily!

I should clarify that in my example, being more media literate has allowed me to make better informed decisions for myself. My personal decision to stop following gossip mags, gossip websites, tabloids, etc was born from the acknowledgement that it brought a lot of negativity into my life and it didn’t contribute positively to building my world view. Recognizing the manufactured nature of celebrity gossip-centered media and how the messages they perpetuated were influencing my perspective was important.

Remember Kanye interrupting Taylor’s acceptance speech? I laughed at Taylor’s expense. I went “Yeah! Imma make Kanye memes about other things that are better than _insert something Taylor has done or attempted to do_”. Developing my media literacy has allowed me to reflect on how that was a very scripted publicity stunt, but just because Taylor and her team would have been in on it doesn’t absolve the negative impact it would have had on me and other impressionable viewers. The impact of that kind of engagement is that I go around with this normalized view of thinking it’s ok to try and tear others down, thinking it’s ok to make arbitrary comparisons between other people, between women, as though it’s a competition for which woman deserves recognition over everyone else. It’s gross and doesn’t align with my personal values. Without this recognition of how I’m being manipulated, I would have just been left to this reactive immaturity - behavior and attitudes that one might recognize as being the markers of a toxic stan.

Now if someone can subscribe to Just Jared, Just Jared Jnr, TMZ, Perez Hilton, Hollywood Life, E Online, Daily Mail, etc and be inundated with the sheer amount of manufactured media and not have it negatively influence their life and world views, that’s great. They can go do that if they like. But for me personally, years ago I would have seen the headline “Justin Bieber challenges Tom Cruise to a fight in the UFC ring!” and I would have spent so many brain cells thinking about all of it. It would have been like “What the fuck is wrong with Justin Bieber? What a stupid little shit. OMG. How can someone be so stupid. Did he get dropped on his head as a baby? Is it drugs? Does he have a shit mother? How does a kid turn out this way? What a fucking idiotic prick.” at the same time thinking “Man I can’t stand Tom Cruise, I would love to fucking see this fight. At the very least someone I don’t like is gonna get punched in the face. I may hate Justin Bieber but I kind of want to see him beat up Tom Cruise”. It’s like, why am I even thinking about this violence? I don’t even like violence. Yeah Justin and Tom’s public images both shit me, but now that I can recognize 1) the existence of a highly manufactured and controlled public image, and 2) the toxicity of the entertainment industry and how that affects stars, I can exercise more empathy towards both of them instead of wanting general bad things to happen to them. And now, I would see that same headline and I go “Lols, I wonder what they’ve both got coming up that they’re trying to promote. Ugh, so glad I don’t seek this shit out anymore” and I go about my day.

“What steps should I take?”

The very first step I would recommend is to watch this YouTube CrashCourse series on Media Literacy 

“What could I read to better understand this world?”

Read everything? Seek out information and knowledge, cross-reference and fact-check. Develop your inductive reasoning through the pursuit of a wide variety of knowledge, across different domains. Study different domains. If not formal study, just take an interest and read and learn about different domains. Work in different jobs and industries. Experience life. Travel. Talk to people from many different walks of life and backgrounds. Build your world view. See a therapist.

“I really would like to follow what you did to become media literate.”

It’s an ongoing journey, just like any life skill. You don’t really become media literate and then that’s it, you’re now media literate, you just keep trying to improve and learn and grow. We’re constantly developing and evolving our social consciousness with each new experience at every moment of every day.

In the specific context of Camren, I can tell you that my journey basically consisted of consuming a lot of 5H/Camren content. Practically bingeing on it. Along the way I probably bought into a bunch of different theories and “exposing” posts, and because I hadn’t yet read or seen anything to contradict it, it may have seemed plausible at that moment. For me, after reading posts by @emisonme and @decoding1432 (and some other now defunct blogs) on PR manipulation in fandoms, including various astroturfing tactics that they employ, I started to then realize that I couldn’t take “exposing” posts at face value. But it was the post about how management manufactured the OT4 v Camila “feud” narrative, along with the paper trail of the transfer of the 5H trademark that really exposed the timeline of events and how it all contradicted the public narrative published by the girls, their teams, and celebrity news publications - that post really blew my mind and really opened my eyes to the manipulation. It was at that moment that the entire feud narrative was made transparent and revealed to me to be complete and utter bullshit, as well as the cascading implications of that. In that new light, I could then look back at all of the “exposing” blogs and posts that perpetuated the feud narrative for what they were - total crap.

[nazm145]

This was supposed to be a mildly long rant but ended up a dissertation I’m so sorry

Ok, can we just talk about Juliette Durand for a moment?

Like, I know people hate her, but I don’t get it. And I just can’t.

Let’s consider the facts, shall we?

This is going to be hella long, just a warning, so please don’t hate me. I have many feelings.

(I haven’t read the books, so I’m basing almost everything off of the show’s version of the characters.  Tell me if I get anything wrong. Also, general spoilers below.)

Juliette was sired, abused (strong implications of rape), confined, and conditioned by a (white) man who used and trained her specifically to get close to another (white) man and get information from him for his own personal gain.

We see the dynamics of their toxic relationship and its effects on Juliette from the moment she and Gerbert are introduced, augmented by the dark, claustrophobic interiors of their Venetian home – which is strange because the house should be airy and well-lit considering how open and spacious it is. Definitely a metaphor, I think, for the dark and twisted nature of what is supposed to be a “father-daughter” relationship.

The scene in which Gerbert is seeing her off on the boat after allowing/ordering her to go find Matthew, the creepy cheek-kiss, and her look of relief and what seems to be almost a mixture of triumph and freedom as she turns around and gets farther away from him is a pretty decent summation of what things are like between them. Of course, we hardly need to analyze anything this deeply when Gerbert’s treatment of Juliette and her strange, toxic dependence on him is so grossly obvious.

Enter Domenico.

For me, Juliette and Domenico are the most intriguing characters on show. I don’t know how extensive their roles were in the book, but to me their subtle exchanges, as short as they were, are so impactful. I definitely think this is in large part because Elarica Gallacher and Gregg Chillin are amazing actors who pack so much depth and nuance into their scenes.

The whole Juliette/Domenico/Gerbert dynamic is so interesting to me (to reiterate, I fully loathe Gerbert and want him to choke). While the nature of Juliette and Gerbert’s relationship is tragically obvious, Domenico’s relationship with both of them is much more complex. From their very first scene, it’s clear that there is a mutual dislike, distrust, and tension between them all, and like Juliette, Domenico answers to Gerbert. But of course, his level of subjugation can’t even begin to compare to hers.

What first caught my attention was when Gerbert called Domenico a “nosy fucker” even though Domenico looking into the dead body and reporting to Gerbert was clearly in his favor. This strongly leads me to believe that Domenico has indeed fucked with Gerbert in the past, either intentionally or unintentionally. Not surprising – Domenico obviously has no love for Gerbert and given the constant descriptions of him as a manipulator and strategist, it wouldn’t surprise me if he’s played his hand more than a few times in the past. He even tells Juliette that Venice is his home, so he does what he has to do in order to keep Baldwin and Gerbert happy. He is, in his own way, a victim of his situation - even though he holds a position of power, there is only so much he can do.

Which brings me to him and Juliette. God, I have so much to say about these two. So many of their scenes (both together and apart) force me to think about just what their feelings are towards each other and how much of that stems directly from the other and how much from their situations and the other people around them.

Like when Juliette tells Gerbert, “Domenico hates me.” It got me thinking – does he really hate her? Does she only think that he hates her? What has he said or done to make her feel that way? Or am I just thinking too much into this and it was really just a last-ditch effort on Juliette’s part to try and stop Gerbert from punishing her? Now, that last part is interesting – I’m positive Domenico knew what would happen to Juliette once he told Gerbert what happened. Everyone probably knows. But Domenico’s role in regards to both the Congregation and Gerbert seems to be that he’s the one who’s expected to keep everything in line on the Vampire front and report any problems, otherwise it’s his ass. And clearly, he’s under some sort of employment for Gerbert considering he reported the incident to him and not the Congregation, and it was him who was asked to fetch Gerbert when he didn’t show up at the meeting in episode 7. So I really believe he had no ill intentions towards Juliette when he ratted her out – it was more a fulfillment of duty, which in the world of ADoW, seems to be a necessity for survival.

Which brings me to The Scene. You know, the one where they unnecessarily angry-whisper-flirt with each other, have absolutely no regard for each other’s personal space and for two people who supposedly hate each other, look at each other’s lips a completely inappropriate number of times within a span of thirty seconds. This was the scene that made me complete trash for them, not in the very least because it was sinfully hotter than hell and had me feeling some type of way. There was so much to unpack here.

This didn’t occur to me until now, but when Domenico tells Juliette to not bother going home because Gerbert is disappointed, was he really mocking her? Or was it actually a subtle warning to wait until Gerbert cooled down so she wouldn’t have to go through what she did the last time she made a mistake? What leads me to believe the second option even more is that Juliette herself told Marcus that Gerbert will be angry with her if she doesn’t retrieve Matthew… so.

Next – Domenico shamelessly spilling the deets on how Matthew is in love with Diana, and goading Juliette to go to Sept Tours and confront them.  Here, I’d just like to take moment to appreciate Gregg’s delivery of “really” after Juliette tells him she can’t go without permission. It could easily be interpreted as “Really? Do you really need Gerbert’s permission, or are you just forcing yourself to believe that” OR “Oh really? You don’t say.” Like, I love how he could either be challenging her perception of the reality of her own confinement or just being a facetious asshole. But what really got to me was the look he was giving her as she walked away. It was both unreadable, and yet strangely… I don’t even know. Almost sympathetic? Dare I say longing?

And that’s what occupied my mind for an entire week until I saw episode 7. How genuine or underhanded were Domenico’s intentions when he tried to convince her to go to Matthew during the bar scene? Was he just trying to hurt her? Did he want her to go for her own sake? Or was it all a ploy to throw Gerbert in deep shit when his “daughter” showed up uninvited on ancestral De Clermont land? I honestly don’t believe that Domenico would be above grabbing any chance he could to fuck with Gerbert. And I absolutely don’t condone him using Juliette or manipulating her to accomplish that. Which got me thinking about another aspect of their relationship, until again, I saw episode 7.

Domenico obviously hates Gerbert, and he knows what he’s done to Juliette, possibly more so than anyone else considering the extent of their interactions. Why then, has he done nothing to help her? Why has he been, if not complicit in, then at the very least a bystander in her abuse? Now this bothered me a lot more until I saw the more recent episodes of ADoW (Don’t get me wrong, it still does. But I feel like I understand a lot more now.)

The magical world of ADoW works a lot differently than the mortal one. Law, intrigue, politics and revenge take precedence over even family and friends. Gillian sold Diana out because she thought it was her duty as a witch (although there was clearly some personal pettiness involved there). Sophie and Nathaniel wouldn’t tell Agatha that the baby might be a witch even though she’s the grandmother, and quite possibly the only genuinely kind, not insane member of the Congregation. And no one even questioned Baldwin’s claim that Knox had Diana and he himself didn’t know where she was because they never thought he would actually lie to protect his own brother (albeit only Vampire brother). So it’s not hard to believe that Domenico wouldn’t put his ass on the line to cross Gerbert that way, especially when, as we learned in episode 7, Juliette could have saved herself but chose not to.

You guys – their talk in 7 was so unexpected and touching to me. Not in a “Oh look how cute, he cares for her, aww” type of way. But in a “Wow. He really does realize her situation and is willing to help in whatever small way that he can so she can finally free herself – in whatever manner she chooses to do so.”

What really got to me was when Juliette asked him what he wanted in return for Diana’s file, and all he says is that she should finally free herself and just go anywhere. Just leave the horrible life she’s been living, while recognizing that in part it’s been her own choice because she either can’t or won’t forget Matthew. Contrast this with Baldwin asking Domenico what he wants in exchange for Satu, and Domenico saying “Someday… who knows?” Everyone knows how manipulative Domenico can be. But in that one instance with Juliette, we see him being genuinely kind and not asking her for anything in return. And his little smile after he sees her Power Walk out of that church like a Queen?

You guys. A girl is weak.

Coming back to Juliette, I’m so mad that all this likely won’t come to anything if the show stays true to her fate in the books. Which it looks like it will. As much as I felt her walking out on Gerbert, the fact that a black woman left her abuser only to put herself in a situation that her abuser conditioned her to be in is still so problematic. Not to mention the fact that that after years and years of being used by males (apparently she was a prostitute before she was sired, so even as a human?! Really?!?!) she is killed by the blonde-haired, blue-eyed lover of the white man she’s been obsessed with for centuries. Like. Ew. No thank you.

And honestly? I feel like she and Domenico could really be something if she would just try and get over Matthew. Again, not saying that her obsession with him is completely her fault. She is blatantly a victim of abuse, and so many of her actions stem from the violence, manipulation, and torture that she has suffered for centuries. Of course that would mess her up. And finally giving a black woman autonomy and power and the courage to stand up to her white abuser in one episode only to kill her off in the next in a situation that is indirectly the result of her abuse is just awful and unacceptable, especially in fucking 2018.

You know what I want to see? Juliette calling bullshit on the whole Matthew situation and finally becoming her own person.

Like, girl. First of all you don’t need no man. You are gorgeous, clever, resilient, and could probably seduce half the world’s population with one Look. And yes, I fully include myself in that. And even if you do want a man (eternity is a long time to spend alone tbh) Domenico is right there. I know their relationship is nowhere near healthy or good, but it is still light years better than the shitstorm that is the Diana/Matthew/Juliette triangle of a fucking toxic disaster fest.

Give Domenico and Juliette their own developed story where they do or do not get together (as long as they’re both happy tbh – I love my evil disasters, leave me alone), fucking rip Gerbert’s throat out, and then basically take over everything. Because – and I know I’m gonna get hate for this – Matthew and Diana’s story is sweet, and Goode and Palmer are lovely in their roles. But the whole “forbidden love/Person A not knowing about or repressing their powers only to find out they are SuperPowerful™ and now have to master their abilities with the help of Person B so they can fight the world together” is so overdone. Give me more magical world politics and intrigue with a concentration on Domenico and Juliette or give me death.

Also – more hate-bait, but whatever – Diana and Matthew may be cute and all, but this is what makes my heart beat.

 LOOK AT THEM

Domenico and Juliette are so fucking hot. Those curls. Those FACES. The adorably tiny height difference. His hand on her waist. The Looks being fucking Served. 

Don’t even try to tell me that they wouldn’t be That Power Couple

[takaraphoenix]

A random thought that’s been stuck in my head for a couple of weeks now.

I feel genuinely bad for Stephenie Meyer.

Look. Everyone who’s spent more than a week on my blog knows I only truly loathe two things and 50 Shades of Abuse is one of them. But... Just...

Imagine being the author of the property this bad fic is based on.

Imagine putting together your own world, developing your own characters and their relationships to each other. Pouring love into those things. And Stephenie clearly did. Think about Twilight whatever you want, but the author is proud of their accomplishment and loves their characters (or at least I hope and will always be assuming that about authors).

I’m wildly aware that neither Clare nor Riordan would be too happy about the fics not just I but about 98% of fandom write about their characters. And, most likely, all authors of the original work feel like that, I’m assuming.

But you can ignore fanfiction. At this point, you have to be aware of its existence if you publish something that gets super popular, but you can just, for the sake of your own sanity, stay away from it.

That gets a little harder when the fic author seriously takes their bad smut fic and publishes it as a book. And that, somehow, becomes a huge phenomenon and even gets turned into a major picture trilogy.

Just.

Just imagine that for a moment.

Imagine you dedicated years of your life into crafting that world, forming those characters, writing those stories. Take the fact that it’s Twilight and your own personal opinion about that series out of the equation and imagine it being you and your own project.

You love your baby a lot, your world and characters and stories. You have a fanbase, people dedicated to it. And that’s nice, flattering obviously.

And you get to avoid the fics that aren’t your taste, the ones that corrupt your characters in a way you do not approve of.

But then this one fic author has the audacity to actually publish it as a book. And not even change anything aside from the names. And even those poorly. That fic author didn’t even bother rewriting it to make it unique. She didn’t even think about cutting Edward’s family back to a regular mom, dad, son situation, nope, kept the whole Cullen-clan in this.

Heck, the movie adaptation is so accurate that I, as a casual Twilight watcher who only read the first book, recognized every single Twilight character in it, including the background characters that only got like a couple moments of screentime.

You can see the Twilight characters in the 50 Shades of Abuse movies.

The sheer audacity of that is just baffling for me. The laziness of not even actually developing her own characters to replace the canon characters she borrowed for her fanfiction. Make them at least physically individual, cut down the relationships and friendships that you took from the original series.

I mean, personally I can not fathom why an author of such a bad and inaccurate smut fic would even think about publishing it at all, but to not even majorly change things, instead just replacing all the names...

That’s, honestly, that’s like a slap in the face.

If I were Stephenie, every single damn trailer for those movies, every damn book laying in a bookstore, would for one make me really nauseous because those are my characters and this person put them into an overly toxic and abusive relationship (sure, Eddie and Bella are not the poster relationship either and there is some stalking, but... it’s like... mutual stalking and the level of “unhealthiness” is faaar below the level of the fanfiction) and this person is actually making money with my property.

I admire that Stephenie hasn’t spoken out about the audacity of it all but only kept it brief and very vague when the topic is being brought up, because I don’t know apparently she’s a saint to the level I would not be capable of.

But you can not tell me that this does not make her angry, resentful or at the very least highly uncomfortable and upset.

I sure know I would be and I really, as both a fanfiction author and an author who loves to create my own characters and worlds, find that part to be the most repulsive and disrespectful one about those books.

Even beyond the wikipedia level of BDSM knowledge and purposefully toxic and abusive relationship, because there’s a shit-ton of bad fiction out there. But an actual bad fic turned worldwide phenomenon? Far as I know, only this one.

[echelonlab-blog]

Reigning Madness – Chapter 26

Masterlist

Disclaimer: Fiction.

Warnings: None

Tagging: @hazeleyedleto @msroxyblog @letojokerownsme @miss-shannanigans @snewsome756   @maliciousalishious   @nikkitasevoli@meghan12151977 @mindlessselfindulgence88 @sanellv @ambolton@jayded-reality @bradlea23@spillinginkwithlove @alexis7215@dezmarz@pezziecoyote@whoistheprettiest @avaj99  @iridescxntsolitude @pheenixpeterson @guccilowell

Shannon's POV

I followed Caroline into her room to find her staring out the window, head pressed against the glass. Closing the door, I took a few steps towards her. She stared back at me before turning around again.

Joining her at the window, I could feel the tension seeping from her pores. She was probably still mad at me about before. Well, here goes nothing. "You okay?"

She stares at me, a hurt look in her eyes. "Don't."

"I just want to make sure that-"

"Please, Shannon. Just..." There was a knock on the door and Caroline went to it, opening it to find Jared there.

"Hey. I'm sorry about this mess. I didn't know Cynn was coming or I would've let you guys know."

I snorted. That girl did whatever the fuck she wanted to begin with. Why should now be any different?! Caroline smiled a bit, shaking her head. "It's fine, Jared."

"She's asking for us to go out and I kinda have been cooped up in this hotel room for too long. Why don't we all go out to dinner? My treat."

I crossed my arms, noticing how Caroline cringed. "Good idea, brother. But you forget, you're supposed to be in a relationship with Caroline. And not to mention the paps would recognize her. We can't risk it."

"Well, Cynn thought of everything already. She has a wig and even without it, I doubt people would recognize her." Jared hesitated before speaking. It was getting on my nerves. Why couldn't he see she was trash?!

"What are you not telling us?"

"Well, if we do go out, Cynn will pretend she's your date."

I could feel my anger boiling up. "Oh hell no! She may have you wrapped around her tiny little finger, but there's no way I'm playing along to that."

"Please, Shannon. It's been hard enough for me. Don't you think I deserve this? Can you do this for me?"

Fuck. He was playing the guilt trip brother card. Locking my jaw, I felt Caroline's hand touch me. "Maybe we can do this. I mean, it can't hurt to get out a little." She pleaded with me through her eyes. I could tell she didn't want to stay here. I owed her that so I nodded.

"Fine. But she doesn't get to say she's dating me. And she can't treat the fans like shit. If there's even one little thing that goes awry tonight, it's over."

"What do you mean it's over?"

"I quit the band!"

Jared's jaw dropped and I could see the panicked look in his eyes. He may take on acting roles from time to time, but the band was what he loved doing. "Shan, you can't be serious. You can't quit the band."

I laughed bitterly. "You know Jared, if you can throw it all away because of some girl, then don't you think I'm entitled to do it too?" He had no comeback. He just stood there looking lost. "Anyway, all you have to make sure is that Cynn is on her best behavior tonight."

Jared nodded, exiting the room and I felt immediately guilty. I knew it was wrong of me to threaten him like that, but I had no other choice. And I meant it too. If there was anything I could do in order to make him see just how toxic Cynn was, if leaving the band is what it took, then I was willing to do it.

Caroline took a few steps forward, standing in front of me, struggling to find words. "Shannon, what are you doing? You didn't mean that, did you?"

I sighed, closing my eyes for a moment. "I did."

"You can't be serious, Shannon. You can't!"

"Why? Why does Jared get to fuck it up and I can't?"

"But the band has been your pride and joy."

"Look, I love doing what I do. I would probably be locked up or dead if I wasn't in this band. But, I need to prove a point to Jared."

"Are you really willing to go down that road just to prove some stupid point?" I nodded. "Jesus, Shannon. This shit has gone too far. I can't do this..."

Fuck. She was panicking and I could see the desperation in her eyes. Placing my hands on her shoulders, I turned her to me, my eyes softening as I saw her eyes shining with unshed tears. I was sorry I ever dragged her into this mess. "Look, no matter what happens, this isn't your fault, okay?"

"Just... You can't leave the band, Shannon. Please."

I sighed. "Hopefully, if Cynn behaves, I won't have to. I mean, she has new looks. Maybe she grew a brain too."

Caroline laughed and I smiled at her. "Doubt it."

"Either way, this is gonna be a night to remember. Let's just try to make the most out of it, okay?"

Caroline nodded, reaching to wrap her arms around me. I held her tightly to me, kissing the top of her head. If I had to leave, I was really gonna miss her.

I did my best all day to avoid that red-haired train wreck that my brother called his girlfriend. Normally, I would have just left the hotel and disappeared to do my own thing, but I couldn't leave Caroline. I knew it definitely wouldn't be a good idea for the two of us to be spotted alone together, given our mutual attraction to one another. Fans would pick up on that shit immediately.

Last time we were all alone, I was able to hold myself back, but would I have the strength to do it again? I really liked her a lot, but I wasn't looking for a relationship at the moment. The ugly truth is, I'm still human, so, if she's available and flirting with me, regardless of my loyalty to my brother, I can only hold back for so long.

  Caroline and I hung out in my hotel room and Tomo's for most of the day, in an attempt to avoid the raspy, annoying voice of Cynnamon. Emma found out fairly quickly that Cynnamon was here when she came to Jared's room. She wasn't happy at all. She and Tomo were both shocked at the balls on Cynnamon for just showing up like this. I didn't care what anyone said, I blamed Jared for sharing our itinerary with her.

"You sure you wanna do this?" I asked, on my way to the shower.

 "Shannon, it's a night out. We haven't really been out at all since I've been with you guys. Aside from the day you took me out to the middle of nowhere only to turn me down, it's just been staying backstage at the shows and traveling from one city to another. I need this and surely, I can handle that scuzzy whore for just a little while."

  Tilting my head to the side, I grinned, "If you say so." I left her alone and walked into the bathroom, realizing that she was still a little pissed at me about yesterday. When I returned, she was gone and I headed over to Jared's room to wait for this disaster to begin.

   Cynnamon was the first to emerge and it took all I had not to laugh at her choice of dress for the night. If this girl thought for one minute that wearing a blonde wig and changing from her usual classless style to a more refined, softer style of dress, would change peoples opinion of her, then she was even crazier than I thought.

  I poured myself a drink to calm my nerves and prepare myself for being forced to listen to that annoying voice. Jared walked past me, "Starting already?"

 I leaned in and whispered, not really giving a fuck if she heard me or not. "I'm gonna need it if you expect me to pretend to be her date. I'm not holding her fucking hand either, so don't even ask."

 He laughed, but when Caroline emerged from the bedroom in that sexy red dress, Jared and I both froze in place. I only wish I was able to tear my eyes away to see the disgusted look on Cynnamon's face, but unfortunately, I missed it. I downed the rest of my drink as I listened to Cynnamon whine and complain about wanting to change. It was hilarious when Jared told her we didn't have time and rushed her out the door. Caroline maintained a straight face behind that mask that she held firmly in place, but I knew a shit eating grin was lurking underneath.

  I sat next to Cynnamon in the car and had to escort her into the restaurant. Jared was smart and had a private area reserved for the four of us. Like Jared, Caroline chose water as her beverage, but once Cynn leaned across the table and began calling my brother by the awful pet name she gave him, Caroline ordered a margarita with her dinner.

Looking at Caroline's expressions, I wondered if Cynn's constant use of J-Roy and Baby was getting to her, like me. Cynnamon sighed, "Baby, I missed you so much. I just wish you would have let me change into something a little more sexy for you."

Rolling my eyes, I leaned back in my chair. "This isn't a competition, Cynnamon."

She narrowed her eyes at me and flipped the few blonde strands of hair back that were hanging in her face as she shot me daggers. "Oh, I know that. My man only has eyes for me. Isn't that right, baby?" She turned her attention back to J.

   "Of course," Jared assured her, the aggravation of the whole situation was obviously wearing on him.

Caroline stifled a giggle as she polished off her second margarita. She had only taken a few bites of her food and seemed only interested in ordering another drink. I could relate. "And you only have eyes for him, right, Susan." She asked, staring directly at me and then back to Cynnamon.

  "It's Cynnamon!" She looked around the table and it was almost like she suddenly realized that she was raising her voice. I watched as her expression softened and she cleared her throat, smiling at Caroline. "I don't use Susan anymore. My professional name is Cynnamon." She looked over at me. "I just want to say that I think it's adorable that the two of you are now a couple. You look great together and you're about her speed, Shannon."

  I wasn't going to say a word about her remark, even though I knew it was a dig, but Caroline's expression changed just as the waiter returned with her drink. I watched as she leaned forward, taking a few sips and then looked from me to Cynnamon. "First of all, let me clarify something, your name is Susan, your stripper name is Cynnamon, and actually, Shannon and I aren't a couple, but if we were, just out of morbid curiosity, would you try to fuck him too, or was that just a high school thing?"

"Oh shit, it's time to go!" I kicked Jared, who was already trying to neutralize the situation as he held Cynnamon's hand and whispered to her, across the table. Cynnamon's face turned beet red and I was ready to stand and escort her to the bathroom. I kept waiting for the screaming, but it never came.

"I'm sorry, I'm not quite myself right now." Caroline's words slurred slightly and I knew she wasn't full on drunk. Once in the car, Jared sat next to Cynnamon, calming her all the way to the hotel as Caroline giggled into my side at Jared's attempt to calm the situation.

 We stood in the elevator, where the two women remained silent, but glared at each other. Once inside the suite, Cynnamon pulled the blonde wig off and grabbed Jared by the wrist, taunting her relationship with Jared in Care's face. I followed Caroline into her room where her mood shifted and she began tossing clothing everywhere and mumbling to herself. I picked up on a few curse words and something about Susan always winning as she stomped around the room. She asked me to turn around while she changed out of her dress and into some pajamas.

  "Are you alright?" I asked, concerned about how she was feeling. With my back to her, I heard her start to cry.

   "I'm sorry about tonight, Shannon. I shouldn't have allowed her to get to me." She sniffled, "I'm dressed, you can turn around." Walking closer, I hugged her tight, sympathetic to her feelings. It must be difficult to be in her position. "Will you please stay with me? I just don't want to be alone knowing that she's right down the hall."

  "Alright, I'll stay. Get in bed, Caroline." I pulled my jacket off and sat on the edge of the bed, kicking my shoes off and lying back. She turned the light off and slipped beneath the sheets. It was silent and just as I closed my eyes, frightening sounds began echoing through the suite. If we had been near a zoo, I'd swear that an animal had escaped, but no, it was only Cynnamon. Her unpleasant voice moaning loudly would forever haunt my nightmares. Were they really having sex right now?

"You can't be serious." Caroline groaned.

 "FUCK!" I covered my face with my pillow.

[jackednephi]

Tagged by @deafchildcrossing

Nicknames: Vanny, princess or pumpkin from my father, kiddo from every other parental figure, all kinds of pet names from my spouses

Gender: if the void of space could be a gender, it'd be that

Sign: what's not in scorpio is in Pluto so everything is super scorpio :/ also dog

Height: 6 foot even

Time: it's 8 am cause the cat yelled at me to feed her and I haven't been able to go back to sleep yet :/

Birthday: 11/16

Favourite bands: I have so many. The ones I can think of off the top of my head are Green Day, Halestorm, ACDC, Metallica, Evanescence, Creed

favourite solo artists: there are so many uh... Ängie, Lady Gaga, Avril Lavigne, Awkwafina, Nicki Minaj, Mona Haydar (she did Wrap my Hijab and Dog) gjsksjf there are so many who do I even list

song stuck in my head: Spun by Ängie with a little Wrap my Hijab by Mona Haydar

last movie I watched: it was a Scooby Doo movie featuring world renowned wrestlers like the Undertaker and it was loads of fun

Last show I watched: Elementary

When did I create this blog: end of 2017

What do I usually post: Mormon stuff as well as how I relate as an inactive member struggling with faith and queerness

What did you last google?: Japanese to English cause my waifu used vocab I didn't recognize

Other blogs: vann-haal is my main, porg-alicious is for my buddy to make her smile, a Homestuck blog I made back in 2012 cause I will forever be grey trash, a mental illness blog for my personality disorder, a hoarde where I keep pretty people password protected, and I have the url smjaygal hoarded for idk what yet

Do I get asks: not often :(

Why did I choose this URL: I took it cause of a joke I made with @starseedjenny about Nephi being swole

following: somewhere between 275 and 300

followers: like 30

average hour of sleep: it's so inconsistent I have no idea

lucky numbers: 3, 13, 16

Instrument: piano, organ, flute, any sax ever but I prefer baritone, a little viola bit I wanna learn bass cause I'm a sucker for a crunchy bass line and rock has so many

What am I wearing: grey sweatpants and a spiderman tshirt

Dream Job: I wanna be an editor for someone like scholastic :/ but like the kind who sees what comes in and determines if it even makes it to editing staff so I can get more queer stuff on shelves and tell middle aged white dudes to stop being boring

dream trip: take my lovelies to Japan with a stopover in Hawaii both coming and going

Favourite food: depends on if you mean comfort food, dessert, etc cause I really love food and I have several favorites depending on category but if you mean food I can eat a disgusting amount of and not get sick that'd be bacon cheeseburgers

Nationality: American

favourite song: I WILL NOT CHOOSE FROM ALL MY BABIES AND YOU CANNOT MAKE ME MUSIC IS TOO IMPORTANT FOR CHOICE

Last book I read: in general, Abhorsen by Garth Nix but all the way through would be Lirael

3 favourite fandoms: I hate fandoms so much cause they're horribly toxic but if you mean canon worlds then Old Kingdom, Discworld, and Star Trek

tagging: lol do this if you want I think most people on my mutuals have been tagged already

[cessanderson]

Birthday Bash https://ift.tt/2He9Knw

Hi DIYShowOff friends! Oh dear blog friends, I’m so blessed by your friendship and so happy you’re here. Thank you for your encouragement and support! 

Birthday Bash:

I love that you’re here. Our mutual interest in DIY has brought us together and I look forward to getting to know each and every one of you on a more personal level. I love our collaborations, our stories of putting so much love, so much of ourselves into creating  a beautiful home.

If you know me by now, you know that not only do I love being creative and crafty with DIY projects, I’m passionate about wellness and a chemical free home so as I celebrate my last year before hitting a big birthday milestone in 2020, I wanted to share some fun birthday incentives with my favorite blog friends. 

  Giving back: 

It’s my birthday month! My birthday wish is to give back in a big way. That’s the plan! For March, when you purchase a Premium Starter Kit using enroller/sponsor #1836762 at YoungLiving.com, I’ll be donating 25% to providing product gifts for some special recipients! I’d love to gift the Thieves Disinfecting (non toxic) Spray to cancer patients in our area! Thieves is SO amazing and smells good too!

6 (SIX!!!!) close family members diagnosed with cancer in the past 6 years! That’s 6 too many! Sharing about chemical free products, essential oils with no side effects and making healthier choices may only be a super small imprint on those I love, their families and the world – but it’s one positive step in the right direction!

I appreciate your shares and referrals too! Thank you so much for helping me!

Gift of Wellness: 

Think oils aren’t for you because you’re not a hippie? Not crunchy? Or that there’s no way they can actually work like the “crazy oil people” say they can? See, that’s where you’ve got it wrong. Sooooo wrong. All you need is an open mind and a willingness to try.

It’s my goal for every one of my friends and family to have essential oils in their home so they have options to live above the wellness line and non toxic choices for aches and pains, immune system support along with support for other body systems too – you need these oils in your life!

You guys! It’s not about sales! I don’t care where you get your Young Living products from – reach out to your closest bestie who loves the Young Living lifestyle, link arms and get off the fence! But if you don’t have someone close to you, geographic location is of little importance in today’s world with connection at our fingertips! I’d be honored if you chose me as your enroller/sponsor. I’m so super passionate about sharing wellness, purpose and abundance. Who you join under does make a difference and we have an rockstar community for support and education ready and waiting for you (you might even recognize blog friends that you know!) so that you’re not all alone wondering how or why to use essential oils with lots of fun, incentives, giveaways and so much love and support!

^^^ THIS Premium Starter Kit is the BOMB! 12 essential oils and the Desert Mist Diffuser!!! It’s beautiful, has LED lights including a candle flicker mode! And has settings to run 5, 8 or 10 hours!!! The value of all of that on it’s own is over $400! Wow! HAPPY BIRTHDAY! 

yldist.com/roeshel Feel free to message me with any questions! 

Party time! You’re invited! 

March, Spring, my favorite things, FUN times, celebrations & making a difference! Let’s par-tay! When you reach out to host an online wellness party (or local make & take), you’ll be entered to win some fabulous prizes! I do all the work, you invite friends & family and may even qualify for an opportunity to make some cold hard cash! 

Schedule a Facebook Wellness event! Let’s connect on Facebook and change the world!

Looking to learn more about essential oils? Join our EO 101 email class HERE! 

Biggest BANG for your buck: 

Talk about replacement buying. Ditching and switching all of those harmful chemical filled products for clean products! Whoa! The March promos for Spring Cleaning are awesome! The Thieves Household Cleaner is concentrated so just a capful in a big spray bottle is all you need. We use it on every surface in our home and it smells so good. Most importantly, it’s safe! Floors, counters, appliances, toys, kitchen, bathroom, windows, mirrors. You’ll love it! There is a Thieves Premium Starter Kit too! Are your cleaning products CLEAN?

Learn more about a clean home = a beautiful home —> HERE. 

When your Young Living order reaches the PV levels show above, you’ll earn some pretty awesome freebies directly from YL. IN addition to the $400 value of your kit for $165, and the gifts directly from DIYShowOff – you will be SPOILED! It’s gonna feel like it’s YOUR birthday too! Message me to get the biggest bang for your buck with your order and some awesome March freebies! xo

Going for GOLD:

My personal goal is to share wellness with the world! I’m so blessed that someone shared with me. It was the small push I needed for some healthy lifestyle changes and I feel better than ever! So I’m paying it forward. I’m on a mission to make a difference, to take care of ourselves one baby step at a time.

When DIYShowOff reaches GOLD rank in March 2019, I be giving away a free diffuser with some other fun incentives. And are the odds ever in your favor! BIG CELEBRATION and my birthday wish come true!

Every new wholesale member will be entered to win! Getting that Premium Starter Kit gives you a free lifetime membership to wholesale prices with no yearly fees, no obligations to buy or sell or to hand over your first born – just lifetime access to  24% off retail prices for life! It’s sort of like a SAM’s Club or Costo membership. At SAM’s, we pay $45/year to shop there. Over 10 years, we’ve paid $450 for the privilege to shop at SAM’s Club. With Young Living, you snag a kit for $165 one time and you not only get a diffuser, 12 oils (13 if you join the optional Essential Rewards program at sign up which you can then cancel at any time without penalty) or go for the Savvy Minerals MakeUp collection or the Thieves Premium Starter Kit – you’ll have access to wholesale pricing FOREVER!

And if you’re looking for an awesome networking marketing opportunity, it’s there for the taking. No sales quotas, no inventory, small investment…$165! It’s completely optional and just sitting there as a wholesale member IF you want it with a team to lift you up and keep you motivated to achieve success. And why wouldn’t you? Healthy living for everyone! Who couldn’t use some extra cash? I had ZERO desire to sell. I really just love the products and can’t help but share them with everyone since we use them daily. It’s the easiest network marketing gig ever! Having four friends join under you earns you your investment back! Easily! It’s something everyone can do!

  And yes, Young Living is the leader in essential oils with access to products world-wide, not just the USA. Hurray! 

  So, what are you waiting for? Have questions? Let’s connect and get you started on a path to wellness! I want to celebrate my birthday with YOU! 

  *Already a Young Living member? Friend! I am so happy for you and thrilled to be on this oily journey with you!

Check out all of the DIY essential oil infused projects HERE. 

https://ift.tt/2tSN8Rv Roeshel

[reticexce]

RETICEXCE’S RP PLOTTING CHEAT-SHEET

Want new-and-exciting plots for your character? Long to reach out to more of your followers, but don’t know where to start? Fear not! Fill out this form and give your RP partners both present and future all the of juicy jumping off points they need to help you get your characters acquainted.

Be sure to tag the players whose characters YOU want more cues to interact with, and repost, don’t reblog! Feel free to add or remove sections as you see fit. Template here.

Mun name: birdie OOC Contact: instant messenger and asks ( bc im always on mobile ) or sky.pe and k.ik, if we’re close mutuals 

Who the heck is are my muse muses anyway:

alison clair: a fashion designer who used to be a prostitute and has experienced various toxic relationships in her life and still feels the effects of them even now ( self-hate, think she’s inadequate, thinks the toxic relationships are her fault in a way ). has lots of love to give, very creative and artsy, wears a lot of pastel colors and can probably make you an entire outfit if you ask her nicely. 

emile clair: ali’s twin brother ( he’s older! ) who is an overgrown boy scout but can’t go outside as much as he wants because he has an office job ( legal aid ). has a soft spot for plants, hates the other two male muses on this blog, awkward af around attractive people, hella gay but has been hiding this fact about himself for years and has only recently come to terms with it ( sort of ).

cedric privett: alison’s first boyfriend in high school; wealthy and sort of bratty but lives more humbly than people might think. is best friends with nate and teased emile for being gay in high school. verbally abusive to alison in high school. is currently a bartender who reads a lot and has to deal with drunken fights at his bar more often than he likes. will probably flirt with you muse a lot.

nate cain: a terrible person. ali’s second “boyfriend” in high school. took advantage of her in high school and her virginity. physically abused her and verbally abused emile for being gay. hates his parents because they treated him like shit and was in foster homes all of his childhood and early teen years. has bipolar II disorder. is currently djing for money and has a fucked up sleep cycle. 

Points of interest:

alison: is super nice and bubbly, loves cats and flowers, wears mostly pink, will scrapbook and take a lot of photos, will probably love your muse or grow really attached , can be super self conscious about silly things, pls take care of her.

emile: will probably invite your muse to go hiking or bird watching, loves the rain and succulents, stutters a lot when talking to strangers and does embarrassing things, is tol and can help your muse reach stuff. 

cedric: sarcastic, speaks in a proper manner, dresses like he’s all that because he can afford nice clothes, has read lots of books, will judge you on your drink choices, always looks like he’s making bedroom eyes at you probably, is fake af 

nate: looks done 97% of the time with life, replies in short sentences and in a monotonous tone, looks tired, probably never awake when you are, makes great music though and will call you out if he thinks you listen to trash, curses a lot 

What they’ve been up to recently:

alison: living day to day and trying to recover from her past. picking up a lot of hobbies and trying to keep herself busy and healthy ( though she could always use some extra help with the healthy part ). has just been assigned to work on a new fashion line with her aunt ( who owns the company ali works for ) so that’s been keeping her real busy.

emile: trying to not hate his job but it’s not working but at least his cat keeps him happy. trying to also come out of his shell more and get into the dating scene but that’s also not working as well. he’s learned a few new knots though so that’s pretty cool. 

cedric: not on the best terms with his parents but he’s gotta deal with them anyway, is co-owner of a popular bar, is trying not to remember alison and had to deal with nate’s bullshit even more now since he’s back in town 

nate: finally freed from high school and has taken a few college classes online but nothing to get a degree. really focused on making music with other collaborators and is hella enjoying the launchpad he got himself a few years ago. internally denies everything that’s happened with alison and is skipping out on therapy that he’s suppose to be going to for his condition 

Where to find them:

alison: at her office, at cafes, at fashion shows or charity events, the bar, her apartment, the park

emile: in his office at his father’s law firm, outside in park, at the farmer’s market, in his apartment, at a cafe, rarely at the bar but you can try, at marathons bc this boy likes to run, at the train station bc this boy hates to drive and cares too much about the environment 

cedric: at his bar ( the best place ), a bookstore, a restaurant or cafe, at his parents’ place, at a party his parents’ are throwing, at an office party he didn’t want to go to but got dragged into

nate: in bed, at a fast food place, at a night club or a strip club, at a bar probably getting into a fight, in an alley probably finishing that fight

Current plans:

alison: looking for more models for her clothes or for her photography hobby, sketching, trying to not skip meals, and trying to find her prince charming ( or someone to hook up with and make her feel useful and safe ). is thinking about going to school one day to become a nurse but that’ll have to wait when she has more money saved up.

emile: is also thinking about going back to school bc law is now the path for him but who knows what he’ll do ( he’s thinking history ). really determined to get back into the dating scene and meet cute people but social anxiety is an awful thing and he needs lots of patience to overcome it. really wants to get back into hiking 

cedric: taking care of nate, trying to please his parents but also trying to piss them off at the same time by having more hookups, is pretty happy with where he is in life though taking care of nate can be real draining

nate: live through the self hatred and make music to keep himself sane, currently in a stable relationship with someone so that’s always exciting. he doesn’t really do much, but he’s living so that’s good for him 

Desired interactions:

alison: more toxic relationships bc she always seems to attract people that aren’t so good for her, and i like to cause her pain, old clients or new ones since she does have a harlot verse, gal pals are the best, and ?? really difficult people?? i’ve always wanted to see how alison handles difficult people. oh and one night stands bc a girl has needs

emile: more dates, emile crushing really hard on a male muse and it’s possibly unrequited or emile just hasn’t had the guts to tell your muse yet and one day he just blurts it out, someone teaching emile how to kiss or hike up his flirting game 

cedric: be his friend and bitch about things with him, try to be his sugar baby and see how far it takes you, call him out for being so fake

nate: former one night stand coming back and trying to get involved in nate’s life even though he has a gf, someone nate got in a fight with recognizing him and trying to get a rematch, roommates au tbh 

Offered interactions:

alison: is super helpful and nice so she’s always willing to help your muse out or keep them company at like a bus stop or something. known to strike up random conversations. will offer to help fix a hole in your muse’s clothes if it ever happens ( like a wardrobe malfunction ). likes to try new foods and see new things so invite her out and have fun!!

emile: will tell you lots of stuff about his plants if you ask ( or just nature in general ), is really good at painting and wouldn’t mind helping you impress someone you like by painting you a picture and selling it to you, has really good taste in coffee and can help you find the right brew, will let you pet his cat if you’re sad. 

cedric: he’s pretty good at telling when people have had too much so he’ll shut you down real quick if you ask and he’s certain you’re shitfaced, he has a lot of good recommendations when it comes to books, he probably won’t remember you if you told him you guys slept together but you can always remind him 

nate: lmao nate never wants to come out but if you’re looking for a fight or wants someone to play video games with nate is your man 

Current open post/s:

open tag is here!! mutuals only please.

Anything else?:

hi a shy bean in central time zone. i love multiple thread with the same person and i dont mind if you send me ten memes, love me 

Tagged by: @tiivadvabadust ( indirectly! ) Tagging: idk man this was a long thing to fill out bc i had so many muses if you wanna do it then go for it and lemme see!! i would love to see!!