#these are all different opinons my family had

[somecommonbitch]

give me an idea of how old you are in the tags. my brother and i got into a blow out argument with our mom over this and now im curious

[techramonic]

This is a pointless ask but it’s unfortunate that Vlad’s isolation lead him down such a path. I mean, he even killed his own teacher. Sometimes I find it hard to believe Vlad was full of hatred. I think he was more depressed, and didn’t see a point in living anymore. Just me ?

Not just you bud. I think similarly as well. Thank you for bringing this up because I've been meaning to talk about it

I've read from an article, sadly I've lost it but I'll try to look for it soon again — the main person Vlad targeted was the college principal. It could also be viewed in the cctv that he tried to find her in her office, but she left a few minutes prior the attack. Numerous news articles have also mentioned how he occasionally expressed his contempt in school being born out of how his classmates would "make fun" of him for being "different and not like the rest". As well as how he did not like how rude the professors were.

With the teachers, I can see where he's coming from because teens will say anything when they hate the educational system. His schoolmates have expressed their cluelessness about it — how would they know, when many teens also say the same stuff about shooting up their school because they hate the place? It's concerning, yet sadly true. The educational system is neglectful, so I can see why the students don't like being there. However, his reaction to it was disproportionate. In his own words, "But it’s BAD to KILL people. I just expressed my subjective opinion and I don’t call for killing." While it is alright to have a subjective and hypothetical opinon, killing should never be an option and he did just that.

With his classmates on the other hand, however it may be true that he felt "bullied", I think that he saw the times they laughed at him as a mockery of his insecurities rather than just seeing it as pointless fun. Teenagers are cruel, but I think what really ticked him off was because he was not "like them" in a sense that they had goals, aspirations, and they saw a future. He didn't have that in himself, nor did he believe in his own capabilities of achieving it.

He didn't make any friends nor did he want to in the first place the whole time he was at college. I believe that he developed a coping mechanism of pushing others away because people had what he didn't and it made him feel bad for himself. He was in an active form of isolation and perhaps his plan was truly a solidification of his willingness to die. I don't think he perpetrated the shooting solely because of revenge but moreso to corner himself into being killed, because then again, what good would happen when he's done with the shooting? He's dead once he picked up his gun and started.

Maybe that was the sense of purpose he could look forward to, destruction. It's disturbing, it's disappointing, it's upsetting. It's human. It's human to want others to finally see just how pained and distributed you are after trying to communicate for years and still be shunned. From what I've been reading and posting, he had been communicating the warning signs all along, though very subtly: he isolated himself by being withdrawn with everyone and would be dismissive once someone he's close to (like his family) would ask, he didn't like the idea of having friends, he talked about violence and revenge so openly, and even had sadistic tendacies when he was a child yet his psychiatrist dismissed it.

Lastly, he even mentioned to one of his friends, Rostik, that everything ends after death. He believes that nothing else happens on the other side. He has this delusional idealized version of death, considering it to be something "beautiful". I think he wanted death so much because he was clinging unto that hope for peace.

I truly believe a person primarily craves death because of their attachment to a hope of permanent relief. An end from all the pain and suffering in this world.

[f0point5]

I may not always agree with your takes but you are one of the only level headed people on this app.

There's this saying that I have no clue where it came from but I live by it, 'once we stop having conversations that's when we start becoming hostile and spew hatred against others' and although that has no real bearing to what I'm saying, I think it's vitally important to alot of what you post in that we don't have to see eye to eye but we need to have civilised conversations about anything and everything otherwise we start dehumanising the other and start this clock work of hatred against one another. I think the idea that we can't have civilised conversations without someone calling someone names or absurd claims about them is the downfall of this world. If you don't immediately believe that all f1 drivers should call out behaviour that at this stage technically never existed in a team they have no clue about in an environment that isn't there own ans ultimately isn't there business to talk upon is absurd. But you'll automatically be called a misogynistic supporter for these men even as a women who believes the allegations. This doesn't fully all make sense I'm just disappointed that the world has come to this point where there are no civilised conversations. Anyway, your doing amazing and I genuinely look forward to seeing what you say and post because I love learning and seeing other people's views and opinons. Have a good day or night wherever you are in this world xoxoxo

A lance girlie 💚

100% agree. I come from a debating family where we had so many opposing views and I really credit my parents with giving me the freedom to explore different points of view with an open mind and never having the view that “xyz is just wrong”. You come at it from the point of view that everyone is just coming at things with a different set of feelings and experiences, and everyone thinks that they’re correct as you think you are. So, yeah, I agree that we always need to keep having conversations, and having respect for people not having the same view point as you.

Thank you for this message though! It was SO appreciated after the past couple of days 🤍🤍🤍

[world-cinema-research]

Grant Montoya - Week 10 Final Project Preparation

"This film was good at making one root for the bad guy. It helps one understand that we all do not intend to do bad things, sometimes we just get caught up in the wrong situations. Michel does give off the notion that he has been a swindler for quite some time." - Micheal Bump

À bout de soufflé // Breathless (1960) - This film is one of the few i've seen in B&W and I noticeed after watching it that there is a certain authenticity in the way older films are, its like newer films with big budgets just can't compete. The camera in this one isn't afraid to linger in a single place. The movements and performances of Jean-Paul Belmondo and Jean Seberg are intuitive and seem spontaneous. Altogether, you have a movie which draws from realism and naturalism. The film's unconventional narrative structure, jump cuts, and handheld camera work make it a visually dynamic and engaging experience. It also certainly paved the way for new eras of film, such as neorealism.

“I move around a lot, not because I'm looking for anything really, but 'cause I'm getting away from things that get bad if I stay.” This is something Bobby says to his father at the end of the film, in sort of an apologetic excuse for his leaving the family for 3 years. It also sheds some light on his characters inability to ever be satisfied for long in one place." - Natalyn Wakeling

Five Easy Pieces (1970) - Five Easy Pieces explores the complexities of human emotions and relationships. Bob Rafelson centered the film around an incredibly realistic character lead: Bobby Dupea, a former piano prodigy turned oil rig worker, who embarks on a journey to come to terms with his past and make something out of his life. The film's cinematography is very bleak, capturing the desolate landscapes of the Pacific Northwest. Additionally, Jack Nicholson's performance is a major highlight of the film, showcasing his range as an actor. There are many moments that seem so shocking because while it is a fictitious film, the integrity of the characters is just too real and thus it feels like you are witnessing real events rather than a movie.

"Blue Velvet is quite absurd in some ways, but the storyline is easy to follow, making it more conventional in my opinon." - Natalyn Wakeling

Blue Velvet (1986) - It sets itself up as a basic mystery-crime investigative thriller, and even throws the protagonist a clearly predestined love interest, but the way it all unravels is incredible and a joy to watch. David Lynch's greatest touch here was perfecting his surrealist and dreamlike atmosphere. Accompanied by its haunting score, there is so much unease and tension throughout. The film explores voyeurism, sadomasochism, duality, and masculinity. All of the acting was phenomenal but Frank Booth's performance was particularly memorable because he played the perfect psychotic character. Its impact on cinema is evident in the way it has influenced a generation of filmmakers and inspired a new wave of surrealist and experimental cinema.

"This opening scene might be one of the most memorable and best directed I've seen for an art film. The dreary, isolated environment and the scare of the car crash captivate the audience and allow the movie to introduce its tone. The arrival of the harmonium inducts a symbolic or literal mystery, proposing that this single event holds a lot of meaning." - Grant Montoya

Punch-Drunk Love (2002) - This film in particular strikes me as unique because it offered the chance for Adam Sandler to star in an art film, and even when some reputable people told him not to do it he did it anyways. The thing is they were right, the movie did not break even. However, the film still holds up as a beautiful collage of colors and cinematography, and it also meditates on several different ideas. Punch-Drunk Love captures contingencies at the heart of post-romance (post-romance is defined as the age in which we seek out people who are more like ourselves, instead of abiding by the whole "opposites attract" idea) All of these themes and ideas are present in the film, which portrays the violence of contingency and the wonder of love in a post-romance world.

[welcometothewhitelotud]

I go to say something else and then bite it back, heading to my own ship.

He hurt me too. Not just my father. He’s been around for years but he’s never taken me on as a child. He’s been with my dad since I was twelve- was I not good enough? Did he have to do this to have a child because I didn’t have his dna?

I take off and head to Ordo quickly.

Chernan works with Cole until the late hours of the night, only moving back to his wing of the palace when everyone, for the most part, seems settled and secured.

He even specifically checks on the exiled clones, spending an hour in the med bay checking with the doctors about the sick clone with hypothermia, followed by a checkup with Hunter's doctors to see his progress in the rut.

Now, at the end of the day, he's practically dragging himself back to his space, so tired he could probably sleep right where he stands. His thoughts go back to the conversation he had with Jango, particularly about his title and how Jango just wanted something special to be proud of too.

Was it not enough for Jango to be King consort? To help him rule over the entire planet and have discussions with the other system leaders? And it isn't like Jango is nobody- he's the most feared bounty hunter in the galaxy, though Chernan would argue that Galin is very quickly creeping up on him for that title.

Or, Galin was. The poor kid hasn't been the same since he got kidnapped, and it's bought Jango a bit more time in the spotlight while Galin recovers.

Aside from this, though, Jango is still far from being a nobody. For years now, he has been a father figure to both you and Cole, his opinon very important to both of you during your formative years. Were his children not good enough for Jango? Was the family that Jango had with all three of you just... pointless?

He wishes his title had less to do with the power and more to do with the way that it connects him to his people. Rather than seeing how he spends his late nights with his community, just like tonight, Jango instead chose to see the power difference it gave Chernan over him. Jango instead chose to see the more greedy side of it, a trait that Chernan has never been associated with. It's just not who he is. He didn't do this for the power or the money or the living quarters. He did this because he cares, because he would rather stay up all night helping a family in need than sleep comfortably in his own fancy bed knowing that life's problems will basically never touch him again now that he's royalty.

The stress and emotions of the day, followed by the guilt over killing that Prime Minister (even if he deserved it), are just too much. Chernan moves to sit on the couch when he reaches his quarter and drops his head in his hands, bursting into a fit of sobs as he lets everything crash down onto him. He kept a straight face for you, for the clones, for the Mandalorians coming to adopt all of them- he just can't do it anymore.

Suddenly he's not King, but he's back to being a young man feeling such a strong infatuation with Jango and a burning loyalty for the throne that he fought so hard to secure. No, it wasn't won in challenge like the Mand'alor throne is- but it still required a lot of hard work and education and training. And Chernan did all of that. Every single day, without pause, with unwavering loyalty and dedication.

Suddenly he's just a young man who's lost his wife and took the comfort of a close friend's embrace for one night, which set off more than a decade of love and devotion.

Now he's not even sure what that decade has accomplished, seeing as he will be sleeping in a lonely, cold bed, and his partner would rather create a clone army and enslave them before he would accept Chernan's children as his own. That's what Chernan took from that. He loves Boba with all his heart, has included Boba in the family like it was completely normal and never asked Jango any questions about how he came to be with a child that looks like him. He brushed off the possibility of cheating and just... went along with it, no questions asked. And Jango couldn't do the same for you two?

He is a good man. He has always been a good man- and he has been proud to say so about himself. So why, then, does he have such bad luck with love? Does Manda truly think so differently that she refuses to give him happiness with another soul for longer than 10-15 years?

Feeling utterly alone and betrayed, the defeat is like an anchor on Chernan's soul. He lays down on the very couch he just sat on, curls up, and cries himself to sleep without even bothering to change out of his armor.

[deceptive-daydreams]

i feel like i just watched like a super epic movie in my head and i can't beleive its over. betty i dont know how you do it holy shit. the thought put into the entire story, even when you hadn't intended for certain things to happen at the beginning like charlene becoming the villain. it all just flowed so well.

i love steve and astrid's love story, how complicated but simple it was. like they were always meant to be and were always around each other but just felt it would never really happen. only for the universe to basically be like, no you're together. AHHH i love them and i just need to say that i fell in love with astrid's character too, i can picture her perfectly in my brain and shes probably one of my favorites.

steve throughout the fic too, i love that hes such a family man but in a very unconventional way that just works. that kind of brotherhood between him and eddie made me all happy too like when he found out charlene and eddie were previously a thing he immediatley switched and i just love how loyal he is. and now after everything he gets his lil happy ending omg :')

i really loved that reader had a change of heart when it came to her career, like thats so real. she still loves what she does but she just realized it wasn't something she wanted to pursue anymore and found that she had everything she wanted in hawkins so why would she give it up for something she didn't want to put her soul into. aghh its beautiful ok.

last but certainly not least, eddie is literally the man of my dreams in this and i say it over and over and over again but its so true. he's so devoted only wants to give reader everything she wants because it'll make her happy and in turn it makes him happy. like when he was like "ok i'll move to chicago" without hesitation. also im telling you it is my absolute FAVORITE thing when he is all mean and scary toward everyone else but a HUGE softie for his girl.

this series was something i needed and it was so refreshing to read something that (in my opinon) hasn't been done before in this fandom. every character had a completly different backstory and different storylines and it was so cool to follow each of them.

betty if i could give you awards i would. take all the awards. muah.

I'm on Fire

chapter 18: the ties that bind

masterlist playlist

18+ MDNI

If you've come this far in the series, you know what to expect. No physical violence in this final chapter, but there might be some jealousy, protective/jealous Eddie, and threats. Steve with an OC character, parental Stobin, unprotected sex, oral, and meeting the extended family. Can't say goodby without a glimpse of Charlene. Reader is an artist and a vegetarian, but I try hard to keep away from any physical description.

word count: 15k

official author's note will be at the end of this chapter. I cherish you, my I'm on Fire fam, I'm so grateful for the ride, and I hope you enjoy this one.

"It's a long dark highway and a thin white line Connecting baby, your heart to mine."

-- the ties that bind, Bruce Springsteen

The next morning, a new Henderson opened her eyes to the world. 

Steve was the next one to hold her after her parents, and he hadn’t expected to cry, to have his throat close up around his emotions and choke him when he was told they named her Stevie.  He held her so close but so gentle and he barely noticed how wet his cheeks were until Robin came close and rubbed her palm in circles on his back.

“She kinda looks like me. That’s weird right?” Steve hushed, voice catching in a tearful hiccup. He was already thinking of the tattoo he would get with her name, inside his arm, close to his heart. 

“Yeah, that is weird and impossible, Dingus,” Robin smiled into his shoulder, stroking a loving arc over Stevie’s little infant forehead with her finger.  “But she kinda does.”

The labor had been long, the sun was up, and everyone was exhausted.  Astrid was at the house making breakfast while you and Eddie looked after Oliver.  He insisted on watching Pee-Wee Herman's Big Adventure again, and that was when you learned it was one of Eddie’s favorites as well; he knew every line by heart.  He mimicked Ollie with the chant, “I know you are but what am I, I know you are but what am I?”

And it was only then that you realized why Eddie had made a joke once about violently cutting off your mattress tag, the one that specifically said DO NOT REMOVE. Also, it explained why Steve so ardently wanted to start his own biker gang called Satan’s Helpers.

After breakfast, Eddie took you back to the Hammer to get your car, and even though you didn’t want to socialize, you were also in no mood to be stranded at your place without wheels.  Jackie reminded you that you looked like shit on your way through the smoky haze from the late morning drinkers.  You simply nodded in silent agreement, and it wasn’t so much a nod as your head lazily bobbing on a spring.  Your internal clock was out of whack, and you desperately needed a shower.  A shower and a soak in the healing waters of some type of magical pond that could heal you from the inside out. 

Maybe a month on a beach somewhere.

And then you pictured Eddie in a pair of loud, tropical swim trunks and giggled to yourself.

You were just about to leave the locker room with your paycheck and a few of your things, when tall, blonde Erika pushed in with a concerned look on her face, making you back up.  She shut the door behind her and leaned against it, covering the “Safety in the Workplace” poster. 

“Hey, so, that guy is here looking for you again,” her whisper was urgent.

Your heart sank for a second as the memory of Craig gripped you.  You had to remind yourself that he was long gone.  

But you wondered if a part of him would always be lurking somewhere near, haunting you from beyond the grave.

Your next guess was Chief Hopper, maybe he had more questions for you.  

“What guy?” You were hoping she had a clue, or asked a name, so that you could prepare yourself, doing your best to smooth out the front of your shirt.

She only shrugged.  “He’s older, Paul Newman type. Smells like he’s made of money. This is the third time he’s been here asking about you.”

It still didn’t ring any bells, but you’d only slept a half hour on the couch curled up next to Eddie while Pee-Wee stormed the Alamo looking for his bike.  

You took a slow peek around the corner of the bar from the hallway and saw John Gregson sitting there with a drink in his hand. Full head of salt n’ pepper hair slicked back off his face, wearing one of his signature gray suits. 

Was he by himself?  The way Charlene had been popping up like a bad rash lately, you almost expected to see her there, playing the dutiful wife.  

You hid yourself in the hallway again, wondering if you had it in you to have a conversation with anyone, let alone him.

To say his face “lit up” when he saw you would be an understatement; He looked as if you’d been pulled from the rubble of a burning building, and he thought he would never see you again.  

You found it hard to match the enthusiasm, even though he’d turned out to be a decent guy.  

He stood up from his stool and Shana gave you both a curious look from behind the bar as she poured a shaken martini into a glass. She was wearing one of her long, black wigs that day with Bettie Page bangs.  

“It’s good to see you,” he gestured to the seat next to him, his icy blue eyes shone like the Mediterranean Sea. “It’s been a while.”

You sank one hip onto the padded stool so that one foot was still on the ground.  You didn’t want him to think you were staying for too long.

“I’m sorry I’m so behind on your painting, life has been—”

He put his hand up, palm out to you.  It was his left hand and you noticed that he was not wearing his wedding ring.  

“Please, don’t worry about the painting.  Take all the time you need, that’s not why I’m here.  Can I buy you lunch?”

“I-I…” you fumbled.  “I was just on my way out.”

“A drink then?” He cleared his throat and shifted closer casually so that his knee was touching yours. He swirled his drink in his hand.  “There’s something I’ve been wanting to talk to you about and I didn’t feel it was appropriate to do it over the phone.”

Your anxiety spiked a bit, and it wasn’t as if he was a serial killer or anything, but his sudden shift in proximity gave you pause.  You asked Shana for an iced tea and gestured for him to follow you to one of the more isolated tables against the dark red wall, underneath a framed Led Zeppelin poster.  He pulled your chair out for you before getting settled with his gin and tonic, making sure to use one of the black cocktail napkins as a coaster. 

“I know you’re busy,” he cleared his throat. “So, permit me to get right to the point.” He removed the two stir straws from his drink and put them on the napkin.

 “First of all, I’d like to apologize for my wife. I believe she’s caused you quite a bit of trouble.”

You had not expected that one

His stare was too intense, you had to shift your attention and take a gulp of your drink.

“You see,” he settled back, keeping his forearms on the table.  “I met Charlene when I was barely out of high school, we were together before I made my money, and I always felt like I owed her my blind devotion.  Lately it’s obvious that we only make each other miserable.”

He continued.  “I’m not a stupid man. I always knew about the other boyfriends, not that she made much of an effort to hide it,” he smiled wryly to himself.  “Not to bore you with the details of my failed marriage, but I know that Charlene’s the reason you lost your job at the gallery, and I’d like to rectify that, if I can.”

Realization dawned at his words.  Why hadn’t you put those pieces together earlier? Of course Charlene was the reason you lost your job, she probably threatened to remove her funding and ruin Judith.  

You could barely catch up to what he was saying before he started again.  “I’m opening a gallery in Chicago, and I’d like you to come out and run it.”

You choked and had to cover your mouth with the back of your hand.  “Excuse me?”

John smiled so genuinely at your reaction that the skin around his eyes crinkled.  He undid a button on his suit jacket to get more comfortable. “You’d have full creative license, you’d be able to hire your team, do with it what you wish.  I trust your vision.”

It was that opportunity you’d been dreaming about for years, the one you’d been working toward for almost a decade.  

So easy, just like that.

Here, take it, it’s everything you’ve ever wanted.

…but was it?

Your head swam, vision tunneling slightly as you glanced around the Velvet Hammer.  You imagined Steve on his stool at the door and Eddie pulling you aside in the hallway to kiss you.  The song Everlong by The Foo Fighters was on, and you thought about how Chicago was over three hours away.  You’d have to move; it was much too far for a commute.

“That’s such a generous offer, I…I don’t know what to say?” 

“You don’t have to say anything right now,” and before you knew what was happening, his hand slid across the table and was on top of your fingers. 

Your eyes flashed to his hand over yours and you sat there shocked while your need to be polite overrode your core instincts. 

“I know there’s a lot to think about,” he continued, removing his hand to cup it around his drink again.  “Of course, I’d pay for all of your moving expenses.  I own a building downtown with an artist loft I think you might be interested in.  You’d have plenty of room to live and paint, start fresh, if you wanted to.”

Start fresh.

You felt like Shana had slipped a psychedelic into your tea, like you were melting into your chair.  Your brain was having a hard time keeping up with the reality of what was being offered.  

He tossed back another sip and wiped the corners of his mouth, looking almost unsure if he should say the next part.  “Charlene and I—” he licked his perfectly straight teeth in contemplation. “---we’ve decided to go our separate ways.  We’re selling the lake house, a few other properties, and she’s planning to move to Hawaii to be near her sister.”

A thought zipped through your mind then. How long had Charlene known she was leaving? Why would she become a partner in The Velvet Hammer and then move to Hawaii?

“That means I’ll be at my condo in Chicago most of the time, unless I’m traveling for business,” he gave you a pointed look again.  “There are so many places I’d love to take you to in the city.  If you are interested, that is.”

“Well,” you laughed nervously. “I’d need to talk to my boyfriend about it. About the job, I mean.  Moving to Chicago. His whole life is here.”

“Certainly,” John nodded, not missing a beat. “You talk to him and when you’re ready, you have my number. The gallery space I’m buying needs work, so I’d like to fly you out there in a week to take a look at it, once you decide.”

You were still staring glassy eyed at the edge of the table after John stood and left the Hammer.  You hadn’t remembered to breathe in god knew how long, so you tried that, letting out a hard exhale that made a cocktail napkin go flying off the table.

Would Eddie move with you? Visit you on the weekends? The latter seemed more likely but also not, considering how demanding his work schedule was.  Katie told you that Robin had asked her to move in, and you were overjoyed for her.  She’d be paying her share of the rent and utilities for the next month, but after that you’d either need to find a smaller place or a new roommate because you couldn’t afford your duplex on a Velvet Hammer salary.  

One week was all you had.

Did you even need a week? Surely you knew your answer.

—-------

The tires on the tow truck screeched to a stuttering halt out on a Hawkins back road lined with cornfields.

Behind the wheel, Eddie idled there, right in front of that familiar white picket fence around the big yard and the farmhouse with a porch swing and a red barn in back.

Eddie knew the details of the old Ferguson place by heart, it had been his dream house ever since he was in high school and used to take long rides on his bike to clear his head.  The couple that had spent their life raising a family there were in their 80’s now, and he’d heard through the grapevine that they were relocating to a retirement community.  To a smaller place that was easier to care for.  All of their children were grown and lived far away.

The newest addition to the house was where his eyes fell.  

His attention fixed on the sign at the end of the driveway for a long while, heart thudding in his chest.

The old Ferguson Farmhouse was for sale.

—---

The next day was the Welcome Home Baby Stevie barbeque at Steve’s and he had a blue “Kiss the Cook” apron on and a spatula in his bandaged hand when you and Eddie arrived.  He wore an elastic bracelet made of colorful plastic beads around his wrist that you assumed was a new gift from Oliver.  The sky was bright blue, almost blinding, and the air was crisp. 

“You sure you’re okay?” Eddie asked on the way up the driveway to Robin and Steve’s backyard where the lawn had been neatly mowed and edged.  “Anything you want to talk about?”

You hated keeping things from him, but you had no idea how to bring up John’s offer, or if you even wanted to mention it.  Eddie had invited you over to his place the night before, but you’d told him you needed some time alone to get to bed early.  Turns out that being alone with your thoughts only made it worse.

“No, I’m fine my love, I promise,” you leaned into him.  “I’m just tired.”

He put his arm around your shoulders to scoop you closer and kiss your ear.  “I’m gonna take care of you tonight.  Make you a bath, pour you some wine, kiss you all over.  How does that sound?”

“It sounds—” you felt emotions water your eyes suddenly and you blinked it away as quickly as you could.  “That sounds perfect.”

You felt guilty that you were even considering John’s offer, but how could you not? A very hopeful part of you said that both were a possibility, that you could keep Eddie and have your dream job in the city. But how? You couldn’t take Eddie away from Wayne and Oliver and his business, you would never ask that of him.  

“Is Wayne coming?” You asked, noticing you did not see his truck.  Also, your thoughts were racing again and you needed a distraction.

“He’ll be here later,” Eddie assured you.  “Astrid is picking him up on her way over.  Max and Lucas stopped by the garage for a visit and I didn’t want to disrupt the reunion.”

You felt a bit embarrassed at the mention of his longtime friend Max, only because you’d been made to believe that she was a mysterious redhead that Eddie was having an affair with not too long ago.

Thanks to Charlene.

You imagined that Hawkins would be a much better place without her lurking around every corner.  Was there a chance that Judith would take you back on at Moon River Gallery?  No, you had no desire to go crawling back to that place. Unless a new gallery opened, or your art took off to celebrity status, you’d be waitressing at the Hammer and squirreling away your tips for the foreseeable future.

But, you’d have Eddie.

You’d been spacing out so hard, you barely realized that Robin was standing in front of you, offering to take the sack with a Tupperware full of homemade potato salad and hamburger buns. Eddie was carrying your veggie burger patties that he bought especially for the occasion, and the fixings to make tofu skewers.  You told him you were a vegetarian once, and you never had to remind him again.  

“You good?” Robin asked, noting the way you shook your head a few times to come back to reality. Katie came up behind Robin to place her hands on her girlfriend’s hips before she moved over to your side.

“Have a beer with me?” Katie asked softly, reading the weariness in your slightly hunched shoulders.  

It was officially fall, but the weather was warm for Indiana in late September.  Eddie had on his Iron Maiden concert tee under his jacket from their 1985 World Slavery tour and black converse with his worn jeans, and he took his leather off and threw it on a lawn chair as he walked over to the grill.

“You better leave the hard stuff to me,” he said to Steve, shifting his gaze accusatory to grill.  The last time he let Steve grill your veggie burger, he’d charred it within an inch of its life.  

“Have at it,” Steve dusted his hands together.  “I have to go check on my pie in the oven.”

“You baked a pie?” Eddie gawked at him like he had hornets crawling out of his ears.  

“Well, Astrid made it,” he pinched a few sunflower seeds out of the front pocket of his apron and popped them in his mouth, chewing as he spoke. “It’s cherry,” he bobbed his eyebrows up and down a few times suggestively, and Eddie scoffed, elbowing him out of the way so that he could put his skewers down on the folding table.

You were just about to take the first sip of your beer when a man’s voice that was not familiar called over from the driveway.  

“There’s that long-haired freak I’ve been looking for.”

The skin on your arms prickled with gooseflesh and you spun around, thinking there was about to be some sort of trouble. 

Slightly unrealistic to think the worst, but you were understandably alert.

There at the edge of the lawn stood a tall, handsome guy you’d never laid eyes on before, maybe in his late 20’s, and he had a Coffin Kings cut on that was very similar to the one’s Eddie and Steve wore.  At his side, holding his hand was an adorable redhead. Her long hair was pulled through the back of a baseball cap, but you noted that the bright candy color was deeply familiar.  

You turned to see Eddie’s reaction like you were watching a tennis match.  

“Well, I’ll be damned,” he beamed.  “Look what the cat dragged in, "and he stopped what he was doing to make his way over with his arms out and the two hugged, giving each other hearty pats on the back.

“Max!” Robin squealed, practically doing a cartwheel in that direction.  You and Katie fell back and stood shoulder to shoulder, watching the group reconnect in a way that was very familial.  

Lucas and Max had been together since high school, you learned, and Lucas was a member of the Coffin Kings Indianapolis chapter.  The song Love Spreads by The Stone Roses played from Robin's portable boombox on the steps as the new arrivals meandered in to be with the rest of the gang and assimilated with ease.  

Eddie rested his hand on your lower back to introduce you, and instead of a handshake, Max went in for a hearty hug, and in your ear, she said, “Eddie loves you so much, I’ve been dying to meet you.”

When she pulled back to meet your eyes, you nodded, swallowing hard.  “I’ve heard so much about you,” you told her, and then Max shot a look at Eddie and made a crack about how she hoped it was all good things that you’d heard.

They were even more interested to meet Katie, being that Robin had not been serious about anyone since before Oliver was born.  Just then, the Oliver in question came bursting out of the house flying his hot dog bun through the air like a plane, making engine noises.  

By the time Dustin and Suzie came by with their new baby, the smell of burgers charring on the grill filled the air and you helped Steve bring some more chairs out to the lawn.  Eddie was taking much care to keep your vegetarian stuff away from the meat, and you couldn’t help but notice with deep adoration.

Astrid had a lot on her mind.  So much so that she didn’t have it in her to make the usual banter with Wayne that she enjoyed when they were together.

“You okay, darlin’?” Wayne turned to her in the truck on the way over.

“Oh,” she tucked a thick swatch of dark hair behind her ear. “You know, just thinking about how excited Steve must be about the new baby.”

There was a distinct melancholy in her voice.  One of the reasons the relationship between her and Steve had never gone any further than besties who make love was her refusal to take away his chance at a big family.  She was barely 21 when a doctor told her she’d never be able to conceive. Well, technically he said there was a small chance—a hairline percentage—but that it “would take an actual miracle”---those were his words.  

She loved Steve too much to not let him be a dad.  He was made for that life.  Ever since he was a teenager, he’d known he wanted to be a father, and once he had Oliver, she knew she’d done the right thing.  She’d tried to keep their relationship platonic time and time again, but in the end, the chemistry between them always proved to be too strong.  

She’d decided that she would love him until he found someone else, and then she would continue to love him from the shadows.  She’d given her heart long ago, and with him it would stay.  

“Hell, look at the head of hair on that kid,” Wayne said when Suzie introduced him to her daughter.  He gave a crooked grin and stroked a finger along the back of her tiny, exposed hand.  

At that, Dustin took his cap off and swiped a hand through his unruly mane.  “Thank god the rest of her looks take after her mother.”

“My thoughts exactly,” Lucas grumbled, thumping his friend in the arm.  

Steve had his back to the crowd when they came in and Astrid spanked him on the bum on her way up the stairs to the kitchen.

He spun on his heel and was quick to cage his arms around her so she could only squirm.  His face was flushed and glowing.  “You meet the kid?”

“I did,” normally, she would’ve kissed him, but instead she pulled back a bit, tilting her chin away.  “She’s so beautiful, Steve.”

“Hey, what’s wrong?”

“Nothing, I—” she knew she was a fool to think he wouldn’t be able to read her face, a fool to think he couldn’t read her like a book after all of those years.  

Steve frowned, examining her face for a clue to her distress.  

Astrid’s stomach felt like she’d swallowed a lead weight.  

She hadn’t decided if she should tell him or not.

About the secret she’d been carrying with her for a few days.  

15 years, that’s how long she’d been in love with him.

Back when he was 19 and she was 23.

They’d known each other since they were little kids.

“I need to talk to you later,” she told him.

Steve dropped his arms from around her but held her hand.  “You can’t tell me now?”

She’d be 38 in December.

“Later, okay?” She winked at him to ease his suffering, and then made her way into the house, knowing that he stood there the whole time and watched her go. 

But later that day never came.  

Wayne wanted to get back and rest before his chemo treatment, and Dustin and his family only stayed for about an hour as they were all understandably still exhausted and wanting to recover at home.  

Astrid waved goodbye to Steve on her way out, and Steve stood up from his chair thinking he’d get a kiss, or at least a hug—but then she was gone.  

He tried not to think too much of it.  If he’d done something to upset her, she was never shy about letting him know.  Maybe she was tired of socializing, maybe she needed a break from him.

Lord knows he wished he could take a break from himself.  

Eddie looked over at where you stood talking with Max and Robin, and he recalled the conversation he’d had with Wayne a few days earlier.

“I don’t have to tell you you found a good one,” Wayne said from the couch in his trailer while Eddie sat next to him.  “I think you know they don’t come around very often.”

“Oh believe me, I know,” Eddie raked a hand through his hair, brushing his bangs off his forehead one, two, three times.  “I keep thinking one day she’s going to wake up and realize she could do a lot better.”

“You’ve done better than you give yourself credit for,” his uncle returned in a low, steady voice. 

When the next words came, Eddie felt a tightness in his throat:

“I’m proud of you, son.”

Wayne had a hard time leaving the house the day after his treatments, so Eddie always came by to bring him lunch and make sure he had everything he needed.  One day he came by to check on Wayne and found that you were already there, doing his dishes for him.

He’d never been with anyone who cared about the people in his life like that.  

Back at the barbeque, you slipped up next to him and planted your lips on his bicep, breathing in the sandalwood and leather of his scent.  “Penny for your thoughts?”

“Since you asked,” he smirked.  “I was thinking how I wish I’d met you a lot sooner.”

“How much sooner?” You batted eyes at him once he turned to face you. “In high school?”

Eddie made a yuck face.  “No, you would not have given me a chance in high school.  I would’ve been a lovesick puppy, but you probably wouldn’t have even known I existed.”

“Are you kidding?” You stuck the tip of your tongue out between your teeth, examining him.  “I would’ve jumped your bones so fast.”

“So fast, huh?” He chuckled, taking you by the hips. “What about now?”

He pulled you in and you hummed against his lips, trying not to get too horny right there in front of the guests.  

Lucas and Max would be in town for a couple days, so you and Eddie made plans to meet up at the Velvet Hammer when you were off work on Tuesday.  By the time the sun went down, all of the visitors were gone, and you were happy to head home as well after helping with some cleanup.  

“Robin and I can take care of it,” Katie nudged you away from trying to wash out a casserole dish at the sink. “You get out of here and go rest.  Make Eddie rub your feet or something.”

You both stopped what you were doing to look at each other.  

The way you were searching your friend’s face made her turn to give you her full attention.  In the background, you could hear Steve trying to convince Oliver to get his pajamas on and brush his teeth in a sing-song voice.  

“I can’t believe how much has happened in these past few months,” you still had soap bubbles popping on your wet hands and you slid them absently along the thighs of your jeans. 

Katie gave a thoughtful sniff.  “I think about it a lot,” she mused. “About that night on the couch at our place when you first told me about the guy who picked you up in the tow truck, and then meeting the boys at The Hideout and then—”

She cringed and covered her face with a dish towel, remembering her “date” with Steve.  “---it feels so surreal that Steve and I actually…well…I don’t want to think about it.  It’s too weird.”

“But then you and Robin found each other again,” you offered, thinking back to that first barbecue at their house when Eddie had to take off suddenly for secretive Coffin Kings business.  

It was on the tip of your tongue to tell your friend about the offer from John Gregson.  Katie knew you better than most people and you could always trust her advice to be on the mark.  

For some reason, you wanted to cry, just drop to your knees and start bawling right there on the kitchen floor.  For no one reason just

Everything

Katie caught the way your jaw moved like you were just about to say something, but then Eddie’s hands were snaking around to hold your back flush to his chest.  Your hair caught on his beard stubble when he leaned in, warm breath at your ear.  “You ladies need any help in here?”

You closed your eyes; you were glad to have him there. Glad to be in his arms, glad to know, in your heart, that he would always try his best for you.

But you were the one keeping a secret.  

Robin joined Katie at the sink and told you both to take a hike, lovingly.  

Steve came into the kitchen after you were both gone and the engine of Eddie’s Chevelle could be heard thundering down the road.

The first thing he did was pick up the beige, wall-mounted phone and call Astrid.  He stood there for a while with the receiver pressed to his ear and his other arm folded over his chest before he held the mouthpiece out in front of him and stared at it.

“She’s not answering,” he mumbled loud enough that the girls could hear.  

“Maybe she’s at Wayne’s? Did you check there?” Robin offered; her hair worn up in a haphazard ponytail.

Steve checked the clock first to make sure he wasn’t bothering Uncle too late, but it was barely 8:30 and he was probably up in his recliner watching M*A*S*H reruns.  

Wayne answered and they exchanged a few words, but then when Steve hung up again, he was quiet, contemplatively so.

“What did he say?” Robin asked impatiently, drying some silverware with a checkered towel.

Steve frowned.  “He said she dropped him off almost two hours ago and told him she was going home.”

He tried her house one more time and, again, no answer.  He let it ring five times but disconnected once her answering machine clicked on.  

“Maybe she went to bed early,” Katie shrugged.  “And turned the ringer off.”

Steve knew better; Astrid barely slept.  Normally, not being able to get a hold of her would not phase him, but something about the way she’d been acting that night set an alarm off in his gut.  

Outside, there was the sound like a firecracker bomb going off that shook the house.  Robin yelped and Steve bolted to the window to yank the yellow curtain back to see where it had come from.  

He got there just in time to see a streak of lightning crack the dark sky and a drizzle of rain hit the glass.  “Oh shit, good thing Eddie came in the Chevelle,” the droplets turned into a downpour as he stood there.  

“Looks like a hell of a storm is brewing.”

—----

Earlier that day, Charlene Gregson marched out of Murray Bauman’s office with her lawyer in tow.  She wore her oversized sunglasses and no expression on her face as they went down in the elevator and exited into the austere lobby.  She looked like a million bucks, which was probably the cost of all of the gold and diamond jewelry she had on.  

Outside on the busy street, her personal chauffeur was waiting by the Towncar to open the door for her while her lawyer, a pit-bull of a man named Saul, got in on the other side to slide in next to her.  Billy was out there waiting on his bike, to make sure no one bothered her on their way out.  He flicked his cigarette to the ground and revved the engine, angling to fall in line behind the Towncar.

“You sure this is what you want?” Saul posed the question to her as he slammed his door shut. They’d just thrown a lot of money at Murray and had him sign official documents.

Charlene sounded annoyed.  “It’s a bit late for that, isn’t it? The deal is done.”

He continued. “I suppose I’m still trying to wrap my head around why you would—” 

“I don’t pay you to ask personal questions,” she sniffed. “Just make sure there’s a smooth transition.  I don’t want to be having a cocktail on the beach and find out that you fumbled something, and I’m forced to fly back out here.”

The town car sailed into traffic and the two sat in silence for a few minutes until Charlene stared out the window at the passing buildings on their way back to the lake house. 

 “Have you ever been in love, Saul?” 

He was confused by the question and tapped his foot a few times.  “I can’t really say I have.” 

After recent events, and everything that he’d been tasked to do in her name for the benefit of someone else made him wonder. “What about you?”

“Only once,” she pressed her red lips together, eyes unblinking behind her sunglasses.  “And once will have to be enough.”

Saul assumed she meant her soon to be ex husband John, and so he left it at that.  

—-------

In a matter of seconds, the rain was coming down in sheets and the windshield wipers on the Chevelle were flapping back and forth at supernova speed.

“We could go back to my apartment if you want,” Eddie turned the Faith No More song down on the radio so that he could be heard over the rain.  “But your place is cozier, and I know both are fairly small but I’ve been wanting to talk to you about—”

“I think I want to stay at my place tonight,” you blurted it out, keeping your attention fixed on the dash, staring at nothing. “Alone, if that’s alright.” 

You could see in your peripheral vision that he turned to look at you, and you offered a reflexive smile, shoulders hunched a bit as if you were trying to fold  in on yourself.  

He smoothed his palm around the steering wheel and tried not to let the sensitive side of him that had been abandoned his whole life jump to conclusions.  Not everyone needed to sleep next to the person they loved every night; you wanting space was totally reasonable and had nothing to do with your feelings for him.

Right?

Just in case, he decided to make sure.  “Was it something I said or? Cause if there’s an issue between us, you know you can talk to me.”

For some reason, his insistence to have healthy communication irritated you.  Possibly because you knew he was right and you should put it all out on the table and talk to him, but you didn’t know how.  Your brain had barely been able to process the offer from John, let alone put the whole thing into words.

“It’s nothing you did,” you said softly.  “I just need time to think.”

Something about your tone and choice of words made his heart rate increase.  “Think about what?”

“Just stuff Eddie, okay? I don’t want to talk about it right now!” You snapped at him, for the first time ever.  

After everything with Erika and Charlene and Melanie and thinking he’d been cheating on you, you’d never lost your temper with him, and the two of you had never had a fight.  As much as you knew that arguments and disagreements were a very normal part of intimate relationships, you still felt like shit the second the words came out with such vitriol.

There it was, Eddie’s biggest fear: you were pulling away from him.  

He’d suffocated you just like he was prone to do.  He was “too much”, and now you were getting sick of him.  

For the next few minutes of the drive to your place, neither of you said a word.  

You because you didn’t want to take your confusion and anxiety out on Eddie, and Eddie because he didn’t want to sound like a whiny, needy bitch and make things worse.    

He parked up in your driveway to get you close to the door, but he kept the engine running to let you know he was honoring your wish to drop you off and let you be.  

You took a deep breath and flipped the manual lock up with two fingers.

“Wait, let me—” he was about to get out and come around to hold his coat out for you so that you wouldn’t get wet, but you were too quick for him.

“I’ll be fine, goodnight.” you were soaked the second you stepped out, fumbling in the pocket of your bag to find your keys.

“I love you,” Eddie’s voice was barely loud enough to be heard over the weather.

“Love you too,” you said quickly, and then you were bolting for the house, wishing you’d left the porch light on.  

Once you were inside, you clicked the deadbolt shut and watched the beam of Eddie’s headlights retreat.

This was ridiculous.  You were being ridiculous.  

There’s a beautiful man out there who treats you better than you’ve ever been treated in your whole life.  

You threw your bag on the floor and undid the lock to jerk open the door again.

You stumbled out into the rain.  “Eddie wait!”

But all you could see were his taillights as he pulled onto the main street and drifted away.  

—------

Back at her house, Astrid let the phone ring.

At one point, she had her hand on it, ready to pick up, but then decided against it.  

It was impossible for her to be fake with Steve, but she also wasn’t ready to be as forthcoming as she needed to be.  

She stood at the table and looked at the paperwork from the doctor's office one more time before she made her way over to the couch and hugged a pillow to her chest to let the tears fall hot and heavy.  

She had her eyes closed, so she didn’t notice the lights approaching in the driveway or hear Steve shouting her name from the sidewalk as he stood out in the rain.

He’d borrowed Robin’s car to ease his mind and make sure Astrid was okay.  What if she had slipped and hit her head or something? What if she was there with another dude? Also, a possibility under their “don’t ask, don’t tell” relationship agreement.    

The white t-shirt he had on was soaked through, making the tattoos underneath look like they were a design imprinted on the material that hugged his muscles.  

He banged on the door with the side of his fist and shouted her name again. 

By then, Astrid could hear him, but she stayed curled on the couch and waited in vain for him to give up and leave.  

—--

Eddie scowled to himself as he parked the Chevelle in one of the garages and made his way across the parking lot and up the steps to his apartment, shaking his wet hair like a dog.  He could hear a few of the guys partying in the clubhouse, and he thought about joining them, but realized his spirits were too low to be social. There was a punching bag in the back office where he normally did his workouts to burn off steam, but he wasn’t in the mood for that either.  

He told himself he would check on you first thing in the morning, but then it occurred to him that you might not want to hear from him right away.  He wanted to respect your wishes, your boundaries.  

He didn’t want to smother you.

On the nightstand next to his phone was the card for the real estate agent he’d visited the day before.  There was a room on the second floor of the Ferguson farmhouse with a view of the big backyard and he imagined setting some easels up to make it a place for you to paint.  It had a big living room with a fireplace and a workshed in the barn.  He wanted to talk to you about it, to ask if maybe you could see yourself living there.  With him.  

But now he wondered if things were moving too fast.  

He crossed his arms over his body and took his shirt off in the bathroom mirror.  He rubbed a hand down his stomach, noting the areas of skin that were not covered in inked designs.  The fanged bat with wings spread wide on his chest, the dragon design on his bicep, the grim reaper on his forearm.  A crude dagger made to look like it pierced his skin just under his rib cage that said, “true friends stab you in the front”.  There were other bits of traditional biker flash scattered around that Steve had doodled on him over the past decade.  On his other forearm was a memorial tattoo for his mother with her name, the year she died, and an angel statue with eyes that dripped blood, surrounded in roses and thorns, and the thorns came down over the back of his hand.  It was done in a way so that the bats that had been inked there earlier were still visible.  

He was barely 15 when another friend inked HELLFIRE on his knuckles.  It was done with a homemade tattooing gun like the ones used in prison, and the letters had to be redone later because they were basically chicken scratches.  One of the other earliest ones was the skull with a snake through it on his opposite bicep with his nickname “War Machine” underneath.  

Some days, he wanted to get them all removed and start over.

Other days, he wanted to go balls to the wall like Steve and be inked from ear to foot.  

He threw his soaked shirt in the hamper and was just about to grab a beer out of the small fridge near his desk to take into the shower with him—

but then there was a knock at the door.  

At first, he thought it was one of the other Coffin Kings, trying to drag him down to get plastered with them, but then he noticed that the rapping of knuckles was soft, cautious even.  

“Eddie?”

His head snapped around at the sound of the voice.

It was you. 

—------

Steve held his finger on the doorbell, relentlessly.  “Astrid, if you don’t answer the goddamn door, I’m gonna break it down!  You know I will!”

Astrid wiped her face, flapping her hand to dry her eyes and cheeks to the best of her ability.  She still had on the flowy, floral, maxi dress with an empire waist that she’d worn at the barbeque, and she wrapped a black shawl around her shoulders as she stomped begrudgingly to the door. 

Just as she was about to reach up to unlock the safety chain, there was a loud thud from Steve’s foot slamming into the wood, vibrating the hinges.

“Steve stop!” She yelled, fussing with the second lock on the doorknob.  

She yanked the door back and there he was: soaked to the bone. 

There was only a short awning over her front steps, and so he was standing as close to the frame as possible while more thunder rumbled in the distance. His wet hair had flopped into his eyes, and he swiped it back with a twist of his head, spitting to the sidewalk as he did so.  

His expression was one of anger at first, but then it melted into confusion when he could tell right away that she had been crying.  “Why aren’t you answering your phone?”

“This is a bad time,” she stayed blocking the entrance, although the yearning in his eyes was actively testing her resolve.

“The hell it is?” He pushed. He shifted to see behind her, as if there was someone or something she was hiding.  “You’re upset, I can tell.  Let me in.”

“No.” That was her answer, but Steve wasn’t having it.

He stomped up onto the threshold, wet hair dripping onto her face as he closed in, bracing his hand on the door so that she couldn’t shut it.  “Why don’t you want to see me?”

She tried to look everywhere but his face, but then his hand caught her chin and guided her eyes up to meet his. 

 “Talk to me,” he whispered from lips dotted in water droplets.  

There was a tug of war going on in her heart, and in the end, Steve won.  He always did.  

She didn’t invite him in properly, she just turned on her heel and left the door open, knowing he would follow her into the living room.  

His boots squeaked from all the moisture on her hardwood floors.  He always liked to take his shoes off when he came to see her, but it was too late for that.  He found her sitting on the couch in the dark, but he could only see the outline of her curly hair.

“Why are you sitting here without any lights on?” He reached down and flicked on a tiny wicker lamp that was on the nearby bookshelf.  

“You ask a lot of questions,” she mumbled.

He pinched the front of his shirt to peel it from his body and flapped it a few times as if that would dry it out. “What did you want to talk to me about at the barbeque?”

“You’re soaking wet,” she got a good look at him in the light and suddenly felt bad that she’d made him wait out there.

“No kidding?” He snorted sarcastically. 

“You left some of your clothes here last time. I folded them in the third drawer,” she hugged the pillow.  “Get into something dry and then we can talk.”

He stripped down to his underwear right there in front of her, staring at her the entire time, as if he was worried she would bolt and try to hide from him. His patchwork of colorful tattoos was a jumble of loud expressions of his aggression and passion.  In honor of his nickname Taz, he had several Tasmanian devils doing various things including riding a motorcycle and one on the back of his arm giving onlookers the middle finger.  The ones on the front of his thighs were all self-done when he was just a kid, practicing his craft.  When he was a teenager, he used to tease her and call her “Asteroid” and just above his knee was an asteroid with a fire tail crashing toward a heart-shaped earth.  Besides the Seek and Destroy tattoo on the side of his throat, his skin was full of phrases, including the big “FTW” letters in an arc under his ribcage that stood for “Fuck the World”.   

He went into her bedroom and brought out a pair of jeans and a blue t-shirt with “Gary’s Plumbing” advertised on the front pocket.  He dressed in front of her as well, keeping a relentless eye.

“You really are ridiculous, you know that?” She put her chin in her palm and waited patiently for the show to be over.  

He flapped his arms out to his sides like a little kid waiting for approval on his outfit. “Okay, beautiful. I’m dry.  Time to spill the beans.”

“Can you sit down, please?” Her heart flopped in her chest as she considered the words that were about to come out of her mouth and the effect, they would have on him.

In Steve’s experience, when someone asked you to sit down before they told you something, it was always their attempt to soften the blow of bad news.  “Why can’t you just tell me now? You’re freaking me out, babe.”

“Steve,” She pleaded sternly.  “Trust me, I need you to sit down for this.”

—------

Eddie barely had time to greet you before you were pushing by him to get into the studio apartment.  You were hugging yourself, and anxiety had your stomach in knots.  

“I need to talk to you about something,” you gushed.  

Eddie stood at the door, keeping his back to you while he locked it.  He was shirtless, dark hair dripping down the pale muscles that flexed under his flesh.  

You looked around, trying to decide if you should sit or stand when your gaze landed on the painting you’d done for him after that first time you met.  He had it displayed front and center, right above his desk on the main navy-blue wall, as if it were the most important piece in the room.

You were pacing when he turned toward you, the wheels in your mind spinning.

When he got closer, you stepped further away, but he caught your wrist.  “Hey, why can’t you look at me? What’s going on?”  His voice was sterner than he’d intended it to be.  

“I can look at you,” you made yourself meet his stare to prove his point, but it was difficult. You felt like he could see right through you; all of your doubts, all of your fears and insecurities. 

“Sit,” he directed you over to the end of the bed, facing the small sitting area with where there was a couch and a coffee table in front of an old Zenith tv.

Next to you, the mattress sank under his weight, but in your mind, you were somewhere else.  

“So, is this it?” He released a heavy breath and started to play with one of the rings on his hand, pulling it up the finger and then pushing it back down to the knuckle.

“What do you mean?”

It was he who couldn’t look at you now.  “Are you breaking up with me?”

“No!” You blurted it, eyebrows pinching together in frustration with the way you couldn’t get the words out.  “That’s not…I didn’t mean…I just have a lot on my mind, that’s all.”

A rush of endorphins filled him with temporary relief while he waited for your next words.

You stretched your neck from side to side, swallowed hard, and then you told him.

You told him about John’s offer to run your own gallery in Chicago, the opportunity to have the artists loft you’d always dreamed of.  You picked at a piece of skin on the side of your thumb as you talked.

“But I said I needed to talk to you about it first,” you added.

Eddie got to his feet and went over to look out the window over the garage parking lot. “Sounds like a pretty sweet deal,” he mumbled.  

You weren’t breaking up with him, but you were, in fact, leaving him, which was much the same thing.

“Well, it’s complicated,” you said, watching as he went over to snatch his pack of smokes and lighter off of the coffee table.  

“Doesn’t sound complicated to me,” the cigarette bobbed between his pinched lips as he talked, cupping his hand to light the end.  “Sounds like you already know what your answer is.”

“I wouldn’t be talking to you about it if I’d already made my decision,” you countered.  “I want to know what you think.”

“Well,” he scoffed, exhaling a sharp plume of smoke down his chin. His eyes were much darker now, almost black.  “No one in their right mind would choose to stay in Hawkins, not with an opportunity like that on the table.” 

He almost added, “no loser biker boyfriend is worth it,” but decided it was not the right time to be self-deprecating. 

“But I like it here,” you mused. “More than I ever thought I would.”

“We’ll always be here, trust me,” he was trying to remain cool, but his exterior was cracking.  “So, this John guy has been stalking you or something? Getting you to do this painting for him was one thing, but now he’s waiting for you at your job to get you to what? ----Move to Chicago to be closer to him?”.

The smoke came out his nose that time and the muscles in his throat tensed.  He had a bad feeling about that guy before, but he wanted to respect your business ventures and give you space.

The change in Eddie’s demeanor made you wonder if that was the time for full transparency.  In the end, you’d made a promise not to have any secrets from each other and you wanted to keep your word.

“There was mention of that, yes,” you said cautiously, nibbling at your lip.  

“Mention of what, exactly?” Eddie scowled, cocking his head to the side.

“He said there were lots of places he wanted to take me to in the city,” you recited the words cautiously.

Eddie laughed and threw his head back; it was much more of a crazy, maniacal cackle.  “Oh shit, maybe I should pay him a little visit?  See if pretty boy wants to show me the city too.”

“Eddie.”

“What did you tell him?” He was fuming now, grinding his jaw as he stabbed the half-smoked cig into the ashtray.  

“I didn’t tell him anything,” you repeated, but in a much louder voice.  “I said I needed to talk to you, my boyfriend.”

“He knows you have a boyfriend, and he still pulled that shit?”  Eddie bit the tip of his tongue between his teeth with a grimace.  “That fucker needs to get rolled.”

“Eddie!” 

“No, I’m serious,” he was yelling now, but more about the situation than at you.  “I gave him a chance to be cool, to be a gentleman, and he fucked it up. I told you babe, dudes like that, with money, think they can take whatever they want.  Well, he can’t have you, unless it’s over my dead fucking body.”

“Well, it’s my fucking choice, and I don’t want to be with him, I want to be with you, asshole,” You shot to your feet.  

You’d realized something on your way over to his place and it was that you really did not want to leave Hawkins.  

Every rational bone in your body told you to take the offer and run, but the other bones in your body, the not so rational ones, told you that you’d finally found your family and a place you belonged.  

“Listen to me,” you grabbed him by the arm and made him turn, his hair flying over his shoulder.  “I don’t want to take the job, okay? I want to stay here.  With you.”

Eddie nostrils flared.  It was taking all of his strength not to go out looking for that pencil pushing dweeb Gregson.  But if he actually got his hands on him in the heat of the moment, he was afraid of what he would do.  

“I’ll move with you,” Eddie wet his lips, a new idea flashing behind his eyes.

“With me? To Chicago?”

“Yeah, no, I could make it work. Hire another manager here, another tow truck driver. Come back and check in a couple times a month,” he walked by you as he talked, plucking at his lower lip with thumb and forefinger. “I could get a job at a garage in Chicago, easy. There’s even a King’s chapter there. I could get Bones to patch me in.”

“What about Wayne? And Oliver?” 

“We’ll come back to visit,” Eddie nodded at the plan that was forming in his head.  “Steve and Robin and the kid love Chicago.  Maybe we can get a place with a spare bedroom for when they come up.”

“But what about—”

“I know this means a lot to you, this opportunity,” he cut you off.  “I know I’m a dirty, biker asshole, but I’m not going to be the reason you give up on a dream.” He went over to the dresser drawers and pulled out a Pabst Blue Ribbon shirt to pull on over his head.  The armholes were cut wide, and the collar was frayed.  

“But what if I don’t want to live in Chicago?”

Eddie squinted like he hadn’t heard you correctly.  “What now?”

You bit the inside of your cheek in contemplation.  “I’ve been thinking that I don’t really care about that world anymore, the art world I mean.”

“You don’t want to paint anymore?” He appeared hurt by this notion.  

“No, I do, I will always paint,” you corrected with a wave of your hand.  “But the retail side of it, the snobby clientele, the stress, I’m not sure it makes me happy anymore.  Not sure if it ever did.”

It was Eddie who took a seat that time, perching on the back of the sofa. You could tell he was trying to understand, but the information was coming at him a bit too fast.

“I don’t want to work at the Hammer for the rest of my life, either, but it’s okay for now,” you were working through the revelations as you spoke them aloud.  “I have a friend who is starting her own greeting card company, and she wants me to do some artwork for her.  Little by little, I can make a living while still doing what I love.”

Eddie’s thoughts drifted back to the farmhouse, and how much he felt like it fit the both of you.  

“Are you telling me you chose Hawkins? Really?”

You went over to situate your hips between his knees and brushed his bangs off his forehead.  “No, I’m saying I choose you, asshole,” a smile tugged the side of your mouth up.  “Hawkins is a bonus, yes, but I will always choose you.”

Foreheads met then, and Eddie forced out a long-held breath from between tight lips.  “I don’t want you to wake up one day and realize you made a mistake.”

“The only thing I regret is that I didn’t get to jump your bones in high school.”

He chuckled, repeating what he’d asked at the barbeque earlier.  “Well, what about now?”

In the back of his mind he was thinking, “that John Gregson is still a dead man,” but he kept it to himself.

—----

Steve flopped down next to Astrid on the fluffy, tan sofa so violently it was as if he’d been thrown there by a force of nature.  He scooted closer and pawed at her hand so that she would intertwine her fingers with his.  He was reminded of all of those times as a teenager when he would get hurt on purpose just so she would patch him up.  She was a couple years older and wanted nothing to do with him back then, but nevertheless he melted under the tender touch of her attention every time.  

“I’m all ears,” he prodded eagerly when she did not speak right away.  

Keeping Steve’s hand with hers, Astrid turned to face him and tucked her bare feet underneath her, adjusting the stretch length of her dress.  

Steve watched the way her long hair fell across her neck and ample cleavage. 

“Okay,” she cleared her throat. “What I need to tell you is—”

“You’re so beautiful,” he murmured, perpetually distracted.

“Steve?”

“Sorry, go ahead.”

Another big inhale and then: “These past few weeks, I could tell something was…off.  I thought it was early menopause because I missed my period.”

Steve stared blankly, trying not to get turned on watching her lips move.  

She let her gaze fall to their hands clasped on Steve’s knee, wondering if any of it was real, or if she was still dreaming. 

“Is it cancer?”  He dared to ask, squeezing her hand.  “Because I’m not going to let anything happen to you.  I’ll find the best doctor at gunpoint if I have to.”   

“Steve!” 

“What? You’re making me crazy! Tell me everything's okay?”

“I’m not dying, Steve.”

“Well then what is it? I’ve been going out of my mind and here you are—”

“I’m pregnant.”

His body had been moving, vibrating even, but it all came to a complete halt at that.  

As if he’d been flash-frozen on the spot.

A mannequin of himself; mouth open, one eyebrow up. 

He shook his head, confused.  “Hold on, what? But I thought you said that you—”

She played with the hem of her shawl.  “I was told it was impossible.  I was told it would take a miracle.”

“Wait a minute, so—” he gulped and then leaned forward to search her face, one arm scooping behind her.  Her eyes were glossy again, on the verge of another wellspring.  

“Is it m-my…is it my baby?” He stammered.

She could only nod, chin quivering as more tears gathered at her lash line only to race down her cheeks once she blinked.  

Steve lost it then too, sucking in air before he choked on his own emotions.  He brought her hand to his chest and held it there.  “My baby,” he gasped, eyes flooding.  “You’re having my baby.  We’re having a baby.”

“Yeah,” she hiccuped and sniffed. “You’re not upset?”

“Upset? Why would I be upset? How could you even think that?” He was deeply offended that she would question his reaction to something he’d wanted his whole life with her, specifically.

He was wiping her tears away with his thumbs as she spoke.  “This is far from convenient, Steve. The way we both live our lives, we never planned for this. We barely have two pennies to rub together between us and—”

“Shhhh,” he kissed her nose and her eyelids and her mouth. “Money comes and goes, sweetheart.  It doesn’t matter, nothing matters, but you and this baby.  Our baby.”

Our baby.  He couldn’t stop saying it.  

He hadn’t known about Oliver until a few days before he was born, and he always felt robbed of all that time in the womb when he could’ve bonded with his son.  Tina had been a three-day fling at a music festival, and he never had any intention of seeing her again.  He’d been prepared to do the right thing though, to be a family even if it killed him, but then Tina just handed him a baby boy a week old and drove away, as if he knew what the fuck he was doing.  

Robin had been in the car waiting for him when it happened.  She saw him standing there in the street holding that screaming baby in a blanket and right then and there, a mother was born.  

He put his hand on Astrid’s stomach, gently.  “Can I feel it move yet? The baby?”

She laughed into her hand as she wiped her nose.  “I’m barely seven weeks along, silly.” 

He curled down like he always did when he put his head in her lap, but instead he placed his ear on her stomach, massaging her thigh with his hand. “I don’t think you can hear me, little one, but daddy has loved your mother his whole life and I love you very much.”

His next words were to Astrid; a murmur into the meat of her. “Will you let me love you now? The way I’ve always wanted to? Will you stay with me?”

She scratched her fingers through his hair, and then held his head there when his arms went around her waist. They stayed like that for a long while.

A bit later, in bed with her head on his chest, he was half asleep when she whispered: “You know that twins run in my family, right?”

—------

“A geriatric pregnancy,” Steve told you from across the bar when you were both back at work the next evening to the tune of Connection by Elastica. 

You made a face while you put some limes and shots of tequila on your tray.  

“That’s what they call it, I guess, when a woman is over 35,” he shrugged.  “A geriatric pregnancy.  So, I’m forcing her to take it easy.”

He was letting you and Shana in on the good news, and he’d been grinning from ear to ear for so long, his cheeks hurt.  His gold incisor caught the red lights like it had a ruby in it.  He’d even been smiling in his sleep, somehow, as Astrid noticed when she got up in the middle of the night to use the bathroom. 

“I’m so happy for you,” you mirrored his enthusiasm.  “Does Eddie know? Wayne?”

“Not yet,” he made a loose fist and cracked his knuckles. “We wanted to tell Uncle together.  I wasn’t supposed to tell anyone, but I couldn’t wait,” he added sheepishly. “She knows I can’t keep a secret like that.”

“I’ll wait and let you give Eddie the news,” you told him.  “I think he’d rather hear it from you.”

“Where is that War Machine?” Steve looked around, adjusting his sunglasses on his head.  “I owe him a drink.”

“That’s a good question,” you glanced at the clock that was up by the wall-mounted tv.  “He said he was going to stop by, but that was almost two hours ago.”  It didn’t concern you too much because your boyfriend was a busy guy, and last-minute things were always popping up at the shop.  

It was on your to-do list to call John on your break and let him know you were turning down his offer.  The more you thought about it, the more you wondered if he’d planned to hire you on merit, or if he just wanted to get into your pants.  When you thought about the possibility of the latter, it made your blood pressure spike.  

You delivered a round of drinks to a table, and on your way back to the bar, there was a man in a suit coming through the door, holding a briefcase.  

Steve gave him a nod when they made eye contact, but he didn’t ask to check his ID because the man had a graying hairline and was possibly mid-fifties at the least.  He was fit though, and had a very confident demeanor about him.  He looked like he was there to do business.  

“My name is Saul,” he introduced himself to Steve with a handshake and Steve stood up from his stool to be eye level with him.  “I’m looking for Steve Harrington.”

“You found him,” Steve rolled his neck, wondering what he could possibly want from him.  

Saul gave a stiff smile that did not reach his eyes. 

By then you were at the bar, acting like you were busy so that you could eavesdrop.

“What’s this about?” Steve pushed the sleeves of his flannel up to his elbows, exposing his tattoos.  

“Well, it would behoove you to give me a moment of your time,” he moved one side of his suit jacket back to shove his hand in his pocket, rocking back on his heels.  

“I have some business to discuss with you on behalf of Charlene Gregson.”

—------

John Gregson had no idea he was being followed.

He vaguely registered the sound of the loud pipes from the motorcycles rolling up to Margie’s diner, but he was having a late lunch with a business associate and didn’t pay much attention to it.  He preferred white tablecloth lunch meetings, but in Hawkins there weren’t many choices.  Their BLT was unbeatable though, as was the chocolate cream pie.  He’d have to calculate them both into his low-carb diet and spend extra time at the gym in the morning.  

He had his back to the door, making notes in his date book as the man across from him spoke over the sound of clattering dishes and silverware.  

He felt the shadows pass over the table, but he figured it was a group on the way to sit at a booth further down.  

But they came to a halt and loomed there, smelling of leather and tobacco.

John glanced over the top of his reading glasses at his companion first and saw that the color had drained from his face.  

There were four members of the Coffin Kings glaring down at them.  

Eddie frowned at the man with John and jerked his thumb to the side.  “Get up,” he said.  “Find somewhere else to be, I need to talk to your friend here.”

Devlin sank into the booth behind John while Van stood across the aisle flipping his butterfly knife, and Lucas stayed next to Eddie.

“Now, hold on just a—” John began to protest, about to get to his feet, but Lucas clapped a hand onto his shoulder and pushed him back down with calm, steady force.

His companion’s eyes darted from Eddie to John a few times before he gathered his things in a rush, tucking all of his papers under his arm, and shimmied past Van while holding his breath.  It was clear he had no intention of going to wait at another table, he was down the row of booths and out the front door in a flash.

With a heavy sigh, Eddie sank into the seat across from John, wallet chain dragging on the vinyl as he settled in, stretching his arms wide along the back of the bench.  

Lucas turned his back on the two but stood in the same spot, feet planted wide, hands in his pockets, blocking John from leaving.

With a resolute nod, John put his pen down.  “Have we met? I don’t believe I’ve had the pleasure—”

“Cut the crap, man,” Eddie huffed with a lazy grin and hooded eyes.  “You know exactly who I am.”

John took his glasses off and tucked them inside his jacket pocket.  “Fair enough. How can I help you?”

Eddie plucked a pack of smokes out of the front pocket of his cut and motioned for Devlin to toss him a lighter.

“This is a no smoking section,” John reminded him, pointing to the sign on the wall with a red line through a cigarette.

Eddie stared at him as he lit the end and sucked in his cheeks until the cherry glowed orange. 

He waited until after a generous exhale to speak, directing the smoke into John’s leftover pie.  

“You see, John—can I call you John? I’ve been really…patient when it comes to this infatuation you have with my girl.  More patient than you deserve, I think.”

John clicked his tongue.  “Now, you misunderstand me, I—”

“I haven’t misunderstood shit,” Eddie scoffed a laugh. 

The waitress came over, and John was sure she was going to tell him to put his cigarette out, but instead she just gave him the most flirtatious smile.  “You want some coffee, hun? You hungry?”

Eddie finished taking another drag and winked at her.  “Just coffee for me, darlin’,” and then he gestured to the other Coffin Kings. “Get these boys whatever they want and wrap it up to go.  It’s on John’s tab.”

Once she was gone, Eddie continued.  “Here’s what’s gonna happen, slick,” he reached over to tap the ash out on John’s plate.  “Once she finishes this painting, you’re gonna to pay her more than what you initially offered, and then you’re never going to see her or talk to her ever again.  Comprendo?”

John used the back of his fingers to push the plate a few inches away, dabbing the sides of his mouth with his napkin.  “My offer for her to run my gallery in Chicago had no devious intentions, I assure you.  I genuinely believe she is that talented.”

Eddie ground his teeth, jaw muscles bulging.  “She’s beyond talented, you got that right, but she doesn’t want to work for you.  You’re a creep.  Throwing money and big promises around to get what you want.  I know your type.”

“My type?” 

“Has your wife ever mentioned me?” Eddie inquired, exhaling into John’s face.

He watched John visibly go rigid.  

Rhonda set Eddie’s coffee cup on a saucer down in front of him with extra creamer and poured him a steaming cup.

John cleared his throat.  “I think it would be in her best interest—”

“You don’t know what’s best for her,” Eddie bit.  “Who are you, her fucking dad?”

He’d said it a bit too loud and a few people from other tables craned their necks to follow the sound.  

Eddie leaned forward, whispering tensely.  “I don’t think I have to tell you that I have friends in low places. People who will do what I say at the drop of a hat.  You think you can hide behind your money?  You’re wrong.  The people who pump your gas and make your food and clean your bathroom?  They’re all with me. You’ll be looking over your shoulder for the rest of your life.  If you fuck with me on this, if you seek my girl out after I’ve told you not to?  Well, then, I hope you like dentures sweetheart because I’m gonna pull your perfect, pearly teeth out one by one.”

By the time he was done, his hand had curled into a fist on the table.  He spread the ringed fingers out wide and then made the fist again, making John look at it.

Eddie snubbed out his smoke in John’s pie with a sizzle and then settled back in his seat, relaxing his shoulders.  He cocked an eyebrow up.  “Are we good?”

John sat back as well.  “We’re good,” he acknowledged stiffly, adjusting his suit jacket.

Eddie slapped the table and gave John a wink.  “Well, this was fun,” he chuckled.  “We should catch up more often.”

He took a quick gulp of his coffee and slid out of the booth.  

He stopped to bend over and whisper, “don’t forget to tip well, slick,” in John’s ear on his way out.  

—-------

By the time Eddie showed up at the Velvet Hammer, swatting away plumes of second-hand smoke as he went, everyone knew that Steve was going to be a dad again.  Even the new customers who’d barely just walked in the door that evening.  

Astrid had prepared for this.

One of the many complicated reasons she’d waited more than a week to tell him was because she’d known that, if he knew, he’d be announcing it to everyone he passed by on the street.

Steve jumped from his stool and hugged Eddie.  “I’ve got great news, man,” he clapped Eddie a few times on the arm, over the thick leather jacket he had on.  

Eddie had been on his way across the room to you when his friend stopped him, so the sudden affection took him off guard.  “I like good news,” he caught your eye over Steve’s shoulder and smirked.  

Steve let him know that he was going to be a dad again, which Eddie assumed would happen sooner than later, but he was surprised and delighted to know that Astrid was the mom.  They both knew that she’d been told it would be nearly impossible for her to conceive.  

Steve leaned in.  “This proves it, man, I have a magic dick.”

“Sure you do,” Eddie scoffed, patting Steve on the cheek a few times.  “Only took you 15 years.”

Before you could greet him, Eddie was already in front of you, pulling you flush to his body.  He started to walk and you took backwards steps to stay with him.  “Can you take your break right now?”

“I wasn’t going to for another hour but—”

“I need to talk to you,” he hushed.  

“Um, okay, well,” you glanced over at Shana and she waved you off.  

His mouth found yours the second you were obscured in the dark hallway.  You figured he’d be escorting you out to the alley where you usually took your breaks with him so he could smoke, but this time, he pulled you into one of the two unisex bathrooms and locked it behind him. The bulbs inside were red, and it set an eerie, bloodwashed glow.

“This place sees a lot of action,” you mumbled into his kiss as he worked your skirt up so that he could take a handful of the meat of your ass.  “I like to call it Steve’s Office.”

Before you knew what was happening, he was hoisting you up onto the sink counter with a grunt.  Your thighs and bum were fully exposed now, covered in fishnet stockings, and one of his hands held your face while the other rubbed a knuckle over the heat between your legs.  Your panties and stockings were preventing him from going further, but not for long.  

You were about to protest, to say you had to get back to work, or to remind him how many women Steve had probably railed in that very spot, but

Fuck

And just when you softened with a shaky moan, he kissed a trail down your jaw and throat, with a few nibbles in between.

You whimpered, spreading your legs further apart, Doc Marten booted feet locking onto his thighs to keep him close.

“I have something..” smooch “...that I need…” smooch “...to ask you…” smooch

“Right now?” You palmed his hard length over his denim and then went to work at undoing his belt buckle. “We only have 10 minutes.”

He leaned back, letting his cherry bitten lips hover there at eye level.  His bangs were getting too long, he needed a trim, and you brushed them to the side, off of his eyebrows. 

“Do you want to move in with me?”

You blinked a few times. “Into your apartment?”

“No, no,” eager lips found your mouth again and his thumb rubbed circles over the taut nub of your nipple through your shirt.  “The big farmhouse down on Marigold Road.  I pointed it out once when we drove by.”

You stopped.  “The old Ferguson place? Aren’t there people already living there?”

“Not anymore,” he could feel your arousal soaking through your underwear and he hissed, grinding his erection against your thigh. “I want to buy it. For us.”

In your desperation, you reached down and clawed at the section of black fishnet that was keeping him from you, ripping a little further down your thigh than you’d intended to.

Eddie kissed down the front of you on the way to his knees, and then your underwear was pulled to one side and his tongue was on your swollen clit, rolling in circles there.  

You dug your fingers into his hair with one hand and supported yourself on the ledge with the other.  He sucked a few times, and then his tongue went inside of you, and you bit your lip, squirming to try and repress a scream.  

“That is a big step,” you gasped. “Moving in together.”

For the longest time, you couldn’t see yourself living with anyone other than a roommate ever again.

He hummed on your now soaked cunt and then kitten licked it a few times.  “I’m ready. Are you?”

You didn’t respond at first because your eyes were rolling back in your head, so he popped off to get to his feet, his chin glistening.  He spread your thighs further apart to make room for his hips and undid his zipper.

His pupils bloomed wide as he searched your lustful eyes, insecurities making his heart rate quicken.  “Are you not ready? I mean, do you not want that? Is it too soo—”

But then you silenced him with your mouth, lapping up your juices from his chin, moving away a strand of his hair that had stuck there. “I want to see the inside. Could we go look at it together?”

“Yeah we can,” he pushed his boxers down and rubbed the tip of his leaking cock along your slit. “I’ll call the real estate dude in the morning.”

You clung to his neck, jaw going slack as he sank in. “I’ll have to check with Charlie.”

He chucked into the kiss at you mentioning your cat, and then he was stretching you out, easing his way in, aching to be one with you.

“Deeper…more,” you whimpered, and then you each let out a muffled cry when he filled you to the hilt, flush inside of your pulsing heat.

He rested his forehead on yours and began to work his hips, thrusting deep and retreating with a curl of his hips so that you could feel every vein, every ridge, but then you were clenching around him, and he sped up with a curse, a thumb working at your clit.

“This…fuck, I’m going to cum so hard inside of you,” he admitted with a huff.  His belt buckle clinked against his zipper with every thrust.  “You want that? You want all of me?”

“Fuck, Eddie, yes,” You whined, clinging to him as stars exploded behind your eyes. 

His strong fingers dug into your flesh to hold your legs in place, and after a few more shaking pumps, he was spilling inside of you, each of you a moaning mess of “I love yous”, clawing at the other to be closer.  

Someone banged on the door just as the two of you were catching your breath and Eddie was still inside of you.

“Get lost!” Eddie yelled, not caring if it was a customer.

“Are you two having a tea party in there? Cabbage Patch meeting perhaps?” 

It was Steve, and then you could hear his ruckus laughter as he banged another few times just to be cheeky.

You adjusted your underwear back into place, and Eddie fastened his jeans before he helped you down off the counter.  You pulled your skirt down and checked yourself in the mirror.

Yikes.

The rip down your inner thigh was painfully obvious.  You wondered if shredding them in a few more places would make it more of “a look”, but then realized that the lighting in the Hammer was not great, and it wasn’t unheard of for someone to accidentally rip their stockings at work.  

But what about when Eddie’s seed started to drip down your leg?

“You go,” you shooed him away as he stood there adjusting the collar of his jacket, waiting for you. “I need to pee.”

He was looking at himself in the mirror, rubbing lipstick off his cheek, but then he turned just before grabbing for the door.  “If you don’t want to, you know, live together right away, I get it.  But with Katie moving in with Robin and all, I figured—”

“You figured we could be roommates?” 

He smirked, giving a bashful shrug.  “A little more than that, maybe.  Roommates with benefits.”

“Yeah?” You sank against his chest, forever helpless to his gravitational pull.  “What kind of benefits?”

“Oh, I don’t know,” he rubbed the sides of your arms with his calloused hands. “I’ll make you pancakes.”

“You think you can make pancakes?” 

“Baby, I've told you before, you ain’t seen nothing yet.”

—-------

“WAYNE!”

Uncle entered the Hammer and everyone screamed his name like he was Norm in an episode of Cheers.

It had been a while since he dropped by unannounced, and he looked better than ever.

Still much thinner than he had been the year before, and it was hard for him to catch his breath sometimes, but his eyes were bright, and he wore a soft smile more often than not.  

Maybe the chemo was working? Maybe there was hope?

Devlin had been sitting on the stool at the bar next to Eddie, but Eddie was quick to tell him to take a hike when Wayne showed up.

“What did the doctor say?” He asked as his uncle straddled the stool and got comfortable.  He was in a green and white plaid work shirt and had decided to leave his Coffin Kings leather at home.  

Wayne gave a single nod and patted around for his smokes out of habit, even though he’d given it up when he started treatment.  “Just heard Steve's gonna be a dad again. He better treat her right, that's all I can say." It was obvious he was damn near giddy at the thought, Eddie could see it in the way a smile kept tugging at the sides of his mouth. "I’m sick of talking about doctors and my goddamn condition. Want to forget about it for a night.”

Eddie respected that, and tapped the bar to order him one of those non-alcoholic beers that they kept cold specifically for Wayne and one other regular patron.  

You barely had a chance to give Wayne a shoulder squeeze when Robin burst in through the door, frantically scanning the crowd.  There was a dancer on the backstage, working her way down the poll, and Steve had gone over to remind a few rowdy customers to behave themselves.  Robin rushed over and met him halfway, in front of the glowing jukebox.

He found no comfort in the way she looked like she’d been crying.

“What’s going on?” Felt like his heart literally stopped beating in his chest. “Are you okay?”

“The spare key,” she held her palm out.  “You used it last time and now I’m locked out of the house.”

He felt around in his back pocket.  “Where are your regular keys?”

She rolled her eyes, bouncing in frustration. “I lost them somewhere, okay? At work maybe, I’m not sure, but Oliver just threw a fit, I’m on my period, and we’re all just in a really bad mood and want to go home.”

“Alright, alright, here take my key,” he wrestled it off the metal ring to hand it to her.  “Just remember to leave the back door unlocked for me.  Is Oliver in the car?”

“No, he’s at Katie’s place with her, I needed to take a drive alone so that I could scream,” she snatched the key from him.

“Shit, you had me worried for a second.”

“Sorry,” admittedly, she felt like she was overreacting to something so small and fixable, but more likely her tears were from an accumulation of things.  Once the panic spike subsided, her eyes landed on half of a white envelope peeking out of the pocket of his Coffin Kings leather, right above his TAZ insignia.  She always teased him and said his official nickname should’ve been Dingus.

“What’s this?” It looked like it had some official lettering in the corner, and she plucked it out to look closer.

They made their way back to the front so he could keep an eye on the door, and she frowned at the name of a law office in the corner. 

“I don’t know, I haven’t opened it yet,” he shrugged.  “Some douchey lawyer brought it by, said it was from Charlene.  It was busy when he came in, so he gave me that to read and told me to call him in the morning.”

“Fucking Charlene?” She balked.  “What, is she suing you for not wanting to be her boyfriend?”  

“I haven’t had time to open in, but it wouldn’t surprise me.”

A group of people came in, and two looked like they were 16, so Steve carded them.  

Robin ripped the top of the envelope open. You stepped in front of her on your way to a table, and the two of you collided.

You said a quick apology and were about to ask if she wanted a drink, when Shana shouted across the bar to tell Robin the phone was for her.

“It’s your boss from the motel,” Shana continued, holding her hand over the bottom half of the receiver.

Robin gave a heavy, exasperated sigh and pinched the bridge of her nose.  “She’s going to ask me to work a double shift tomorrow, I just know it.”

She shoved the paperwork at you that she’d just unfolded, but not yet read.  “Hold this for me? Be right back.”

“Oh—okay,” you had the paperwork pressed flat to your chest as you made your way over to stand at Eddie’s shoulder.  He was talking to Wayne, but he reached back and squeezed your thigh in greeting.  

You hadn’t meant to look, to eavesdrop on their private business.

But once glance was all it took

For you to be fully invested

Charlene’s name was the first thing to catch your eye

And then, The Velvet Hammer

You took a few long blinks, unsure if what you were looking at was real.

You mouthed a few of the words quietly just to make sure you were reading them correctly.

The way you froze made Eddie curious, and he turned his head to see what you were doing.

“What’s up babe? What is that?”

“It’s, uh—” you stammered.  “It’s Steve’s.  You’re never going to believe this, but um—”

“Can I see it?” 

He tried to meet your eyes as he took it from you, but you couldn’t seem to look away from the words on the paper.  Your mind was reeling.

Robin returned just as Eddie held the papers out in front of him, and she steadied herself with a hand on his back to read over his shoulder.

Steve meandered over; his curiosity officially piqued at what you were all huddled together about.  

“What’s it say?”  He had a smoke bobbing between his lips and his hands in his pockets.  “Did I win the lottery or somethin’?”

He chuckled, but then you all turned to him in unison, unblinking, mouths agape.

“Yeah man,” a smile curled on Eddie’s lips.  “Actually, you kinda did.”

—------

Charlene was on the plane to Hawaii when she read the newspaper article.

A glass of first-class champagne and a window to her right, an empty aisle seat to her left.  

There he was, right on the front page of The Hawkins Post: 

Steve.

In a bigger city, a business changing hands could fly under the radar, but in a small town, it was newsworthy when a local biker and bouncer becomes a business owner overnight.

A Cinderella story, the reporter called it.

The cover photo was of him out on the sidewalk, standing next to the red door entrance to the Velvet Hammer.  Shana was in the photo with him, as were Robin, Jackie, Erika, and you.  

Not pictured was Eddie Munson, whom the article mentioned Steve had chosen to take on as a partner.

The article talked about their plans for the Hammer, including bringing in a tattoo studio to the vacant storage space next door.  

She ran her finger over his face on the newsprint.

It wasn’t until the end of the article that she got the wind knocked out of her:

“Steve and his longtime partner, Astrid Bautista, are expecting their first child together in the spring.”

She hadn’t expected that.

She had to look away and take a generous gulp of champagne.  

Her eyes got a little wet and her vision blurred, but she read it again.

“Did you miss me?” Billy sank into the seat next to her with his sunglasses on and a white shirt unbuttoned almost to the waist of his jeans. He smiled around the pink gum he was chewing and craned his neck to see what she was reading, but she folded the paper hastily and turned it over.

She didn’t answer him, she just stared out the window over the clouds and tried to forget she ever felt a thing.  

------

authors note: wow, we did it. This is my first fic series to finish ever 😭 If you've made it this far, you know how much this story and the characters have evolved since those first couple chapters. If this were an actual novel, I'd go back and make it all sync up, give it more continuity, and reveal nicknames like War Machine and Taz earlier in the game. But the cool thing about posting this way for a fandom is that you, the reader, are able to see in real time how the characters develop a mind of their own and take over the story in a way not even the writer can predict. In this case specifically, you can also see how I went from having no idea how to write a reader insert fic to becoming more and more comfortable with it.

I never had any intention of making Charlene a villain. She was literally based off of the wealthy woman in the Bruce Springsteen video for his song I'm on Fire. Just a gal who had a crush on her mechanic. Some of you voiced that you wished Charlene could get killed, or hurt somehow, and for those of you, you can trust that she is hurting. Knowing that Steve will be having a family with someone else is a deep wound.

I've had several requests for a separate biker Steve story with a new reader, and until two chapters ago, I fully intended to follow through on that. But the more I wrote him with Astrid, the more I felt it was wrong to keep them apart. If you are a fan of their love story, I highly recommend visiting THIS masterlist from @texasblues who created Astrid's character. But I do plan to bring a slightly different biker Steve back in a new au, stay tuned 🥰

This of course, is not the end. I plan to drop an epilogue on you all when you least expect it, and it will take place a year or two after the events here. If you are a friend of mine, you will laugh at this because whenever I say I'm going to write an epilogue, I never do. But this time I mean it.

I can't express in words how much your comments, asks, and messages about this story have meant, and will always mean to me. I was living through one of the darkest years of my life when I joined tumblr back in April and started writing this fic, and you all have held me together, whether you realize it or not. I love you and am deeply grateful for you all.

Taglist: @notsobubblybaby @unfocused81 @aysheashea @etherealglimmer@manicmagicmayhem @dream-a-little-nightmare@chaoticgood-munson @emxcast @rhirojo @bexreadstoomuch @micheledawn1975 @falling-solar-system@secretdryrose

@whatwedontdointheshadows @miarosso @seventhlevelofhell @corrodedcoffincumslut @lofaewrites @goldyghoul @chloe-6123 @kelsiegrin @chelebelletx @stylesxmunson @kurdtbean@dandelionnfluff @clincallyonline17 @tlclick73 @eddiemunson95 @sidthedollface2 @hideoutside @truffleshuffle12 @tenthmoon @texasblues@emilyslutface@mmunson86@onegirlmanytales@laylaloves-ed@dashingdeb16@eddiiiieeee @ick90 @dashingdeb16 @polyestermonster @trixyvixx @atomickaratel8dy @kiyastrf94 @allthingsjoeq @eddiesxangel @razzieth @corrodeddeadlydoll @erinekc @angietherose @sllooney @writinginthetwilight @moonbeamsandmayhem @brianamunson92 @joannamuns9n @bellalillyrose @alba8688 @chevelle724

[quixotin]

Hey, thank you for all the great analysis that you do. I really enjoy reading it 😊 One thing that I am confused about is Gabriel and Adrien's relationship. For some reason I thought that Gabriel was a good father before Emilie's disappearance? And all of the abuse and neglect only started happening in the past year or so.

Ahhh thank you so much! 🙈 you're very kind, I'm happy you enjoy my blabbering even if it's absolute clownery 99.99% of the time haha.

And hmmmmm on the topic of whether Gabriel was ever a good father.

Honestly? I think it's up for interpretation and in my opinon there's two different elements to it: a) whether Gabriel was ever a good person and b) whether he was a good father regardless of the kind of person he was.

My personal take is that he probably wasn't either a good person or a particularly good father (and for that matter, Emilie wasn't either), based on the Shanghai special and some of the things Adrien has stated despite him being an unreliable narrator when it comes to the portrayal of his parents.

So first, in Shanghai we know Gabriel was tied to the murder of Fei's adoptive dad and the destruction of his Kung-Fu school. We also know that Gabriel had been hunting down the Prodigious for the last 14-15 years, which may imply he and Emilie had been involved with the Miraculous ever since or even before Adrien was born.

Then there's two episodes that are particularly telling of how Adrien truly perceives his father when he is not trying to make excuses for him: the Bubbler and Origins.

In the Bubbler we learn that Adrien had never had a birthday party 😀 despite him being born into one of the wealthiest families in Paris, and even France. We also find out that Gabriel had been giving him the same lame gift for the last three years, despite the fact that Emilie had only recently been "dead" in the Bubbler (idk if this is canon compliant but my hc is that Adrien's birthday happens towards the start of the school year).

In Origins, we learn that he's always been homeschooled and that Adrien thinks his father doesn't have a sense of humor. Granted, this perception could be result of Gabriel's mourning, but then again maybe not, because Adrien never uses the mourning of his mother as an explanation to justify Gabriel's being an absolute ass. He explains it as him being strict, perfectionist, stubborn, misunderstood, difficult, but he never says it's because he's mourning. And yeah, maybe you can say "Well, but Adrien might not say that because the death of his mother is also a difficult topic for him." And I hear you but this really does seem as the type of thing that has been going on for much longer. Time and time again, we see Adrien participating in a lot of firsts for him at an age that is concerningly late: first friend, first birthday party, first concert, first time going to the movies with a friend, etc. Which can only be explained as a result of being a child of neglectful parents.

Finally, on the topic of whether his abuse worsened in the year when the story takes place, my hot take is this: It actually didn't. It just became visible. We as an audience don't know Adrien's life before the show, but again, from what he tells and how he acts, we can infer it has always been sheltered and lonely. You can go as far as interpreting that the reason why he started rebelling and pushing to be let into school was because the only person that "understood" him and kept him company was now dead. And you can say "Yeah, but now Gabriel is Hawkmoth." Yes, but a) We can infer he had always been in pursuit of abusing this power b) Since Adrien's abuse is exacerbated by Hawkmoth's schemes, Adrien can't actually tell he's being treated any different. And we know Adrien, he's the kind of person that will rebel and question when he feels he's being treated unfairly. And c) You don't need superpowers to be as bad of a parent as Gabriel is while being Hawkmoth.

But yep, that is my take. Thanks for witnessing my blabber and for your lovely ask haha 😊💕

[sainamoonshine]

The thing about my mother is like…. She absolutely believes with her entire heart that she has huge empathy and can put herself in other people’s shoes. But she cannot understand or conceive that anyone else, especially not her family, would have opinons and preferences that are different than hers.

So she’ll go on a convoluted mind journey to make herself feel better by imagining ways that her actions are actually all about what other people want, and imagine herself kind, but actually she acts intensely selfishly. And makes herself very inconvenient and rude. And then she’ll be upset and offended if you try to point it out.

Exemple: I tell her several times I’m not available on the day of my birthday for her to visit. She tells me she’s also not available that day and we make plans on another day.

But then she goes on that whole anxiety-fuelled mind trip where she tries to imagine herself in my shoes and how upset she’d be if no one showed up on her birthday, and how she’d feel like her family abandoned her and didn’t make her a priority in their lives, and that’s so horrible and clearly I also feel that way and didn’t say so because she would definitely feel that way and not tell anyone (because the worst thing in life is to be a burden or an imposition to others by asking for things).

So she moves all of her appointments and shows up at my place on the day of my birthday. Unannounced. When we had previously definitely agreed that she would NOT do that.

And then obviously I’m either not even there or I open the door, flummoxed, and inform her that she drove two hours for nothing because I have somewhere else to be.

Aaaaaand then I become the bitch, the unreasonable one, the one that throws her kindness and thoughtfullness back in her face.

And she does that all the time.

And most of the times it’s worse and far more upsetting than showing up on my birthday and crashing my plans and being angry at me forever more because I couldn’t fake the appropriate amount of happiness to see her that night. There have been times when she threw away my stuff (because SHE saw these objects as worthless), when she embarrassed me in public (because SHE didn’t think the event we were at was important work stuff), when she belittled my career or my choices. When I had to cancel plans and piss people off because she’d changed the day of a visit after convincing herself that the new date was more convenient for ME (without asking, of course.)

Like. I understand my mother. I see all of the ways that her brain works, can perceive all of the paths that her logic follows to repeatedly land us in these situations. I love her! But she’s definitely hurt me many times and I understand that she is not able to be a different person, a person that would not repeatedly hurt me. It is not in her power (or willingness) to not be that person.

So I keep her at arm’s length. I make it so that she is not in a position to hurt me the ways that she has before, and would inevitably happen again if the opportunity presented itself.

People tell me that I should forgive my mother for certain incidents in our past. But I have???? To me, that is what forgiving her looks like. I understand who she is, I don’t ask her the impossible (to change in ways she is incapable of changing), and I act with this understanding in mind. I love her as she is; what else can anyone ask for? I don’t want more strife, and so I prevent more strife from having the opportunity to happen.

I hate that people think forgiveness should be to let her have power over me again, to let her do whatever the fuck she wants, to let her hurt me again. To make myself small and silent and miserable and swallow back every hurt without voicing them. That’s not forgiveness, that’s not love. That’s martyrdom.

But I don’t call my mother often, see her even less, and I rigidly refuse meetings that don’t have a set date scheduled in advance. If she tries to change the day of a visit more then twice I cancel the whole thing. I don’t trust her alone with any of my belongings. I don’t ask for her opinion or give her the opportunity to « help » me with ANYTHING. So obviously I’m the huge bitch here 🙄

Anyway. Sorry for the rant I guess. I just saw some stuff on twitter and I had too many thoughts I needed to type out.

[seaofkdramas]

These ending scenes showed very well that you don’t mess with Vincenzo Cassano’s woman. I have seen mixed opinions about the way this episode ended. Some people said that if Vincenzo had done things differently in that moment, he could have prevented Cha-young from being shot. That eventually he could have gotten the upper hand in this situation. Or that the way this scene ended went was bad writing. I personally don’t agree with that. I’m not saying Vincenzo was perfectly written. Because I have my own points of critique about it too. And I respect other’s different opinons, so I hope you guys know I am not talking bad about anyone or their opinions with this post of mine. But if anyone has anything to say about my thinking, just let me know. I’m always curious to disccus different opinons and to listen to other opinions.

I think the mafia inside of Vincenzo couldn’t come out well in this scene because in situations before which he was in, a love like this was never in his sight. Like the love he has for Cha-young. Of course family has been important to him for a long time, but I think how he feels about Cha-young is on a whole other level. On the level of being deeply in love. And when you’re in love you don’t always think as clear as usual. So instead of the doing the thing that is best to stop Han-seok, he follows his heart, instead of his head, like he usually does. I think his first instinct was to run to the love of his life to protect her. Even though he hasn’t said it out loud yet that she’s that to him, we all know that’s how he feels about her.

With what Han-seok did here he unleashed the devil in Vincenzo. You can see it in his eyes. And as we could see by the ending of the last episode the devil has also been unleashed inside of Han-seok. I think this will make a very interesting and intense finale.

I am really hoping a lot for a happy Vincha ending. They have been through so much together, have been through such similar things, grown together and grown so strong. And with all of the bonding in last episode, it would be very sad to me to not have them end up together. I think them ending up together could make a very powerful ending.

[swan2swan]

So, where do we go from here? 

Camp Cretaceous Season 4 Prediction (LONG): 

As much as I’ve argued that we need to stay on Isla Nublar the whole time, turning right back around after that final sendoff would be too much of a forced “Return to Status Quo” for a story that has propelled itself forward so much. The kids did it. They won. They got off the island. I feel like we've explored almost everything we needed to (what's left? The bamboo forests? The gardens?), and though we never saw Triceratops or Stygimolochs or got chased by Gallimimus, we can't just go back after everything's increased. The only Big Challenge remaining on the island is the volcano, and that's six months out.

But the story’s nowhere near done, because we have four major plot threads that need to be addressed before the show ends:

1. Most immediately, we have the dinosaur in the closet. Is it a baby Scorpios? Blue? A Monolophosaurus? A Dilophosaurus? A baby Ouranosaurus? A baby Baryonyx? Jeanie? We don’t know, but odds are that it’s going to throw a wrench into the kids’ plans to return home. 

2. The state of Sammy's family and the ranch are still in flux; what will happen to them? Did they get all the money they needed from lawsuits? Does Mantah Corp have dirt on them? Are they going to try to interfere with Sammy because she Knows Too Much? They were set up as villains for a reason.

3. Darius and Kenji's strained relationship is a setup for future conflict.

4. We need to see Bumpy again. This isn't something that “needs” to come up, but the fact is that she's one of the main characters—bringing her back is essential to the story's quality, and we're not missing that thread. She either needs to get off the island, or we need to see that she lives afterwards.

Considering all of these things, I can rule out a lot of options: we're not getting chased right back by the Mosasaurus, and the creature in the ship isn't just going to wreck the engines and send them back. They're less than a hundred miles off of Costa Rica, so even if they're cruising at a cautious ten miles an hour, they should be able to see the shore within twenty-four hours, which means we're not going on an island-hopping adventure, either. You need dinosaurs, too, so nothing generic will happen.

Thus we can consider:

1: The kids are on the mainland of Costa Rica, and lost in the jungle or mountains. Just because they found their way back to mainland doesn't mean that they're going to find a port, and if their stowaway or the Mosasaurus causes problems, they can crash easily. If it's a Scorpios Rex baby, they'll have to hunt it and capture/kill it to finish their mission from this season. The problem with this option is that it just retreads the threat from the last season, which is boring; if it's a Monolophosaurus (or two), then it might not even impact things...so, I don't think the “kids in the jungle” plot is going to stick. I give this one a “D”.

2:  The kids run into a patrol vessel before landing. Isla Nublar is under quarantine. While they're on the boat, their rescuers/captors unleash the creature (which could be Scorpios!), and now there's a tight opening adventure on the boat. Thrilling, but not much of a big season if it's just a navy vessel...which leads me to:

3:  This is the only way I think we go back to Nublar, and that is if they meet up with a patrol boat, and then the creature in the hold (a small Scorpios???) rampages through the ship. They put it down, but the noise attracts the Mosasaurus, which wrecks the boat and puts them right back on Nublar—separated and with a bunch of adults alongside them. With a cast of much-more-plot-vulnerable adults to care about now (perhaps including Roxie, who joined the crew?), the stakes are higher and the kids are guides—maybe even separated at different points on the island. Not a big fan of this idea, though—again, it's retreading, and the number of excuses for “military-trained adults can't radio for help” is slim. So, I give it an “F”. But let's refine it a little further:

4: The kids get picked up by a patrol boat that is actually working for Mantah Corp—and they discover the dinosaur that has snuck aboard. Seeing an opportunity, Mantah Corp excitedly takes the kids to their secret base...on Isla Sorna. Though the dinosaurs on the island are mostly extinct and sick from disease, the abandoned island was perfect for a field laboratory. Specimens to study, buildings that already existed, a quarantine keeping prying eyes away...there's a whole organization here now. The kids escape from captivity (as they do) and find themselves wandering around a new island with new dangers: all around them are long-decayed skeletons of dinosaurs from the past, and hunting them are bizarre creations from Mantah Corp's labs. It's an island of ghosts now, and the kids need to escape...and perhaps, when they do, they find that they only have enough fuel to make it to one place: and it's the place they never thought they'd return to.

This plot covers pretty much every base—the stowaway, Mantah Corp, the relationships, and a chance to return to Bumpy—and gives them a proper, probable reason to go to Isla Sorna that isn't “Fate decided that it would be fun if they went to a different island”. I give this one “B-to-A” probability.

However...

There is one other major option:

Three. Year. Timeskip.

There are only two things holding me back from leaning into this: one is that it would deny us the sight of the kids reuniting with their families. We need that. We need some sort of triumphant return home. The other, simpler, more obvious problem is the monster in the hold; that kind of cliffhanger seems like it should come up. Obviously both of these problems can be solved via flashbacks, or a prologue, but...the need for new models and such would be an issue, because “budget” has always been a thing.

The other major problem, obviously, is the fact that the kids would need a reason to come back together. Maybe they all gather together for an anniversary and a dinosaur attacks them; maybe they're all being interviewed; but a far more interesting, compelling, and obvious motivation would be this:

Bumpy is alive and in danger.

Thus, all six kids (well...at least two would be adults now...) go running off to find and rescue Bumpy. They're bold and independent, rebellious and reckless: they each go to save their dinosaur friend, and they end up running into each other and ultimately facing Mantah Corp, who is one of the major power players in the prelude to Dominion.

This one has the ultimate story potential, in my opinon. You have Kenji and Darius meeting again with death glares because they left on poor terms. Ben has adjusted. Yaz and Sammy have had three years of yearning, notes, and problems (or maybe Sammy vanished...). And Brooklynn has had to forge a completely new life for herself, because she can't deal with internet fame anymore—everyone asking her about the island wherever she goes was just too much.

It directly sets the stage for Dominion, allowing glimpses of the world as it will be in the movie. Maybe the kids set more dinosaurs loose from Mantah Corp's (land-based in this one) laboratories as they free Bumpy. Maybe they become renegades and outlaws—forced to live in the wilds of California, Nevada, or Mexico. They're no longer looking for rescue, but for refuge. Maybe Claire has a sanctuary, a real one, that they have to get to. This would make it a full-scale adventure in a world filled with dinosaurs. Whatever they brought back with them is out there, too...and perhaps an old, scarred nemesis they never thought they would see again.

The biggest drawback to this is that the show hasn’t been running long enough for kids who started it to connect with the grown-up forms of the characters, but also...at the same time...it could work? I dunno, I give it “B” probability, A+ potential. 

Other thoughts that could work in any of these:

Roxie is working for Mantah Corp. She's unemployed, combat ready, and bitter at InGen...also, she'd look great in a uniform.

Brand is involved in any mainland shenanigans.

Dodgson. Dodgson. Can we get Dodgson here?

[epicspheal]

Sonia Deserved Better

I’ve been thinking about Sonia’s arc and character in Sword and Shield and while I adore her character, after thinking about it, I feel she was also shafted in terms of development.

I’ll start with the good, Sonia has a very relatable backstory in being a young adult that has no idea what she wants to do with her life. And seeing her childhood friend Leon and her good friend Nessa go on to be successful household name also hits close to home in the age of social media when you can see people you grow up do great things while it seems like your own life is stalling. This setup I think I was really great and probably the best thing about her character. I can relate to her a lot as I’m sure many others can as well, it’s a backstory that makes people want to root for her character. She also actually does make a name for herself which is what she wanted in the end.

But that’s where in my opinon it ends as far as good things for Sonia in my opinion as the narrative tends to take away a lot from her in the story.

She doesn’t get to battle: Now there’s nothing wrong with having non-battlers in Pokemon be a part of the main narrative. But there is an issue when a narrative continuously makes a deal about Sonia being a former gym challenger and once-rival to the then unbeatable champion and not allow the player to battler her at least once. That information primes the player to expect a battle with her to see why she was Leon’s rival yet the fact that it never happens just ends up making this fact of her “telling rather than showing” (this is something that plagues many SwSh characters). She doesn’t have to have level 70+ Pokemon or anything, but her character would’ve benefitted greatly from this not to mention this could’ve helped Hop to in realizing just because you’re not the number one trainer in the region doesn’t mean your bad and that you can still have fun. What’s worse is that there has been evidence that she was supposed to be battleable based on datamined battle poses for her. 

She lacks agency in her goal: One thing that had bugged me is how in the end she only really starts her arc because she’s yelled at by her Grandma to do something because a couple of kids are starting their journey. Especially when if you talk to her again after her initial introduction in the Wedgehurst lab, you’ll know that Sonia herself has been feeling quite restless. Sonia’s overall arc would have in my opinion been a lot stronger if she herself had of decided to go out and do the research and not be yelled at by Magnolia (which realistically would’ve likely demoralized her rather than motivate her). We already know at this point in the story that there’s a lot to uncover about Dynamaxing, that Magnolia is old, and that Sonia is restless. Perfect moment to give Sonia a chance to say “You know what I want to prove to my gran that I can be her assistant so I’m going to finish up some loose threads on her research that I find interesting”

Her Flaw In Giving Up Too Easily is Never Exploited: Something that is brought up on Opal’s note is that Sonia has a tendency to give up too quickly. The type of person who instead of adapting to challenges, runs away. Again this is a flaw that lot of people can relate to. But this is never exploited to give Sonia meaningful character development. Unlike Bede who has a undying loyalty to Rose which backfires spectacularly and Hop who’s initial arrogance backfires spectacularly on him, Sonia being too quick to give up NEVER comes into play while she’s doing research which I call major BS on as a researcher myself.

I do research as a day job and let me tell you, research is hard. You make wrong hypotheses, your experiments flat out fail, you go weeks even months without making any headway. Everyone I know who has done research has had that moment where you want to quit even the most persistent of people. Sonia was not ever put in a position where her flaw comes to bite her in her butt. With the type of research she was doing in game, I could easily see a situation where she just doesn’t have leads for a long time making her discouraged (something that with the whole historical coverup thing would’ve fit easily). This could make her want to give up but she eventually finds her resolve to keep going because maybe her doing historical research rather than looking at the physics of Dynamax is more her thing, thus making her graduation into being a professor feel actually earned. Not only that it would show that she’s doing this research for herself and not just because her grandma asked her to.

Good Plot Points Go Nowhere: Sonia has three things that are mentioned in game that could’ve great aided her characters and others that is never expanded upon. The first is her soured Rivalry with Leon. It’s clear the Sonia/Leon rivalry is supposed to parallel the MC/Hop rivalry and show what could’ve happened if things went differently...except we never find out what happened that made it soured. It’s especially jarring when you consider that the first onscreen interaction between Leon and Sonia is kind of tense (again leading credence to the soured rivalry and friendship) but scenes afterwards gloss over it.  A cutscene or a bit of dialogue that explained it would’ve gone a long way in fleshing out Sonia’s backstory and also would’ve benefitted Leon’s character as well.

The second point is that she is under professor Magnolia’s shadow. It never really gets the attention it deserves which is a shame because this is a perfect way for her to bond with Hop who is also dealing with the same being in Leon’s shadow. This could’ve allowed the two to bond and give them both the chance to realize they don’t have to be exactly like their family members in order to be successful. 

The final point is the fact that when she was younger she wandered in the slumbering weald and came back “in a state”. Yet this is never brought up again. Considering that Sonia’s arc revolves around the history and mythology of Galar you would think this would be brought up again. This ties back to her lack of agency as her wanting to find out what happened during her time in the weald could’ve been added motivation for her to get out and travel herself, rather than have Magnolia yell at her to do something. Let her be motivated by her own experiences rather than being shoved out the door

So yeah that’s where Sonia’s arc just doesn’t do well for me. The sad part is I feel like the fixes are relatively simple. Just:

Give her a chance to battle to show why she was a trainer that could be Leon’s rival and earn Opal’s praise

Allow her more agency in choosing her direction rather than her being sent out by her grandma

Let her struggle with the research and her tendency to quit and let her find her resolve so she can show she’s not the same kid who gave up on her gym challenge

Explore her past rivalry with Leon, her dynamic with her grandmother and her experience in the weald to flesh out her character as well as other characters

All it would’ve taken were a maybe a couple of cutscenes or extra dialogue bits to really make her act the best that it could be. 

[arizona-trash-bag]

I can totally explain a bit of my thinking behind seeing lwj as autistic and wwx as autistic/adhd!! Before I get into specifics though, let me preface with where I’m coming from. I first saw CQL and then read the EXR translation of the novel. I prefer MDZS to CQL, but also want to acknowledge that because I do not read/speak Mandarin I am inherently experiencing this story second-hand and therefore am probably missing out on a lot of nuances. I am trying to learn Mandarin, but it will be a long time before I am even a little close to fluent lol.

Another preface- obviously not all autistic people present in the same way, and many of the things that I will mention are not solely specific to autistic people either. It’s one of those things where all of it added up together points towards asd, but each one individually would not on its own indicate asd, you know? Also, I will say that many of the things I picked up on for both characters are autistic traits that many autistic people have vs the clinical characteristics (much like most of the case I could make for wwx’s adhd would be adhd traits he has rather than symptoms that would lead to a real-world diagnosis.) Edit: OH! I almost forgot to say, that also all of these traits I’m listing are from a western perspective, and I would LOVE to read more about how autism presents in different cultures and to see conversations between autistc Chinese people specifically, so as to see if these traits are specific to western autistic people or not, but again, I do not speak Mandarin or Cantonese or any other Chinese dialect, so that’s a little inaccessible for me atm.

Ok, SO, for both characters I would list: strong sense of justice, lack of care for society’s opinion (I feel like it could be argued that lwj does to a certain point, but imo he operates more from what he morally considers to be correct and from a place of familial duty vs catering to the opinion of society at large), and then more vaguely, they both seem to be “nerdy” (this doesnt feel like the most accurate term, especially because it's not like being scholarly is specific to their characters, especially in ancient fantasy China- it’s more that their particular hmmm, flavor?? of love of knowledge feels very neurodivergent to me, vs like, being scholarly because it’s the thing that is expected of a Young Master, if that makes any sense at all- like the difference btwn someone getting an engineering degree because it is expected of them vs because they genuinely love engineering), and lastly for both- I would say that they are canonically kinky, and while I can’t cite any statistics, there’s a pretty high correlation between being autistic and being into kink. Obviously, not every person who is not vanilla is autistic, and not every autistic person is into kink…….but there is a high correlation.

For lwj specifically, the things that made me think he might be autistic are his lack of outward emoting combined with his depth and breadth of emotions, how he seems to thrive in and quite enjoy the very structured environment he grew up in, and then the last one off the top of my head (side note, I feel like a week from now I’m going to randomly think of other examples lol) I’m not actually sure IS an example, because I know (thanks to the awesome post from hunxi that you linked to that I had read previously) that his succintness does not equal autism, but I do kind of feel like it is very autistic to Always be so formal and to Always talk in textbook perfect language.

For wwx, I also think he likely has CPTSD! I’m not going to list anything for adhd or cptsd since we both agree on those :) As far as being autistic goes, there is, of course, the high prevalence of adhd/asd comorbidity. For specifc traits- while autism can show up as lack of facial expressions/tone, it can also show up as being overly exuberant and overexpressive. Especially for younger autistic children this can show up as being overly friendly/no boundaries w/ strangers (just?? going home with a random man who says he knew wwx’s parents???), making unusual connections that others do not can be both asd and adhd, his disregard for social status (disregard might be a strong word, and also I feel like this might be one of those things that got lost in translation and if I had read the original text I might have a different opinon, but what I mean here is the way that often autistic people learn certain social rules and try their best to follow them, but often do not pick up on specifics related to social hierarchy that are not spelled out for them- I think jyl’s take down of jin zixun is a great example of the /oppossite/ of what I’m talking about, and is a very neurotypical interaction. An example also of what I mean by disregard for social hierarchy, but from my own life, is how I’ve reflected on past convos w/ my boss only to realize that what I thought was just an interesting conversation about our opinons on a particular subject was actually them trying to tell-me-as-my-boss something they wanted me to do. We ended up doing things the way I wanted to do them because I didn’t realize that they were telling me to do something because they didnt explicitly say so, and because I just don’t pick up on when people are saying something from a social hierarchy pov. Idk if this makes sense or not, so I’m happy to try to expand if you would like me to. I feel like wwx could be described as having alexithymia, which is very common in autistic people, but could also be due to his cptsd. And then, I don’t feel like this is a true point because it is kind of based on headcanon? but wwx feels very demisexual to me, which is much more common for autistic people than it is for allistic people. But him being demi is not canon, just my perception of him (I see him as demisexual gay w/ massive comphet, but I know lots of people see him as bi, which also totally makes sense!!)

Tbh, I’m having a harder time than I thought I would listing wwx specifics. I might go through the book sometime this weekend and see if there are specific moments that pop out at me, but tbh w/ him its more that he Feels very adhd/asd to me?? Idk, I was diagnosed w/ adhd when I was 8, and all 4 of my siblings plus my father have offical adhd diagnoses. I’m 29 now and was only diagnosed as autistic earlier this year.  All of my close friends have always been either adhd, asd, or adhd/asd. There have been multiple people I have met that I’ve suspected were neurodivergent who have later told me they started looking into it and are now seeking formal diagnoses. I mention these things, only to give full context when I say that I have spent a lot of time observing the differences between interacting with neurotypicals and neurodivergents. I mean, obviously, it’s possible that I could just be projecting, but to me, Wwx gives off late-diagnosed/heavy masker autism/adhd combo vibes. Again, maybe I am projecting, but I did try to analyze whether I was or not previously, and determined that since in the past with other favorite characters (who I probably share more similarities in personality with) I did not feel like they were neurodivergent, so I figured that probably I wasn’t? That feels like a very convoluted sentence, but what I mean is that I have not thought that about other characters who have been my fav, so I figured that while I do project in certain areas that this particular area probably wasn’t one of them. Or, to say it in yet another way, since i did not project any of my neurodivergencies on past favorite characters, I figured I probably didn’t start doing so now.

I would love to hear more of your perspective on this, particularly because I worry that I do not have the cultural touchstones to realize when something wwx or lwj is doing is not actually a sign of being neurodivergent. I try my best to research things I don’t know about and to listen to fans who actually do have that cultural understanding, but there’s only so much I can look into on my own when I only speak/read english. And also, I love mdzs and I love talking about both adhd and autism, so I’m glad to talk about these subjects with someone else who also likes all of those topics :) Sorry for sending a book of a response and also I hope you are having a great day!!

wow wow wow anon THANK YOU for doing your research and acknowledging your blind spots you seriously made my day. I wanted to get to this as soon as I made that rant while sharing cyan’s post bc this is specifically an example of a well researched proposition based on actual lived experience and critical thinking.

I almost want to ask you to come forward so we can take this convo elsewhere for a more nuanced discussion bc you’ve already hit upon an issue that’s been holding me back from making a big blathering masterpost on the matter - that the ND experience is so unique and individual, and no one person can dictate someone else’s experience. at the end of the day, if you personally relate to these characters and gain more understanding of yourself and your experiences from them, who am I to take that away from you?

in a public space though I have to make the discussion very broad in order to accurately contextualize these issues, bc in typical autistic fashion I feel morally compelled to Do My Best and Get It Right even as the masses show no inclination of returning the favor, so apologies for the boring backstories I have to get out of the way before we can approach anything resembling new ground.

first from a diagnostic standpoint, while I recognize the traits you listed (and appreciate your clearly nuanced understanding of ND expressions) and would find value in exploring them in a personal context, they are not unique to adhd and/or autism and wouldn’t constitute a basis for diagnosis in a clinical setting. I know that's probably beside the point for this anon, but there's enough edgy teens hoarding labels out there without tacit encouragement from scientists (yes I am technically a scientist, even though my ideologies these days range from conventional to... wildly esoteric, shall we say)

from a cultural standpoint, it’s important for me to emphasize that the concept of neurodivergence is a uniquely western notion. for those unfamiliar, the term 'neurodiversity' was only coined in 1998. I was born in 1991. I existed for a whole 7 years as an autistic person before the idea of being neurodivergent was even a thing. this ND acceptance thing is very, very new - people were not making tiktok confessionals about their adhd diagnosis journeys when I was growing up.

china, like most asian countries, is about 20 years or more behind on just about every social issue compared with western countries. to better illustrate, the experience of being ND in china falls much closer to the conventional experience of disability (i.e. being eugenicized out of existence) than the tentative ND acceptance movement that’s been kickstarted in the past 20 years in the anglosphere.

safe to say, there is no ND coding going on in chinese media. characters are either explicitly ND or they're not. there's no basis for a creator subtly inducing ND-like traits in a character, because there's no such thing as ND awareness in the cultural context of where mdzs was written and consumed. any resemblance is purely accidental, as they say.

as to how this resemblance could exist - I could go into the layers and layers of historical, cultural, social and religious context that make up these characters and the xianxia genre as a whole. for this anon in particular i'm happy to, because they've done the work. please please get in touch in some way where we can have a fully fleshed out chat if you're interested in taking this further, I realize i’ve basically addressed none of the finer points you’ve raised but honestly it’s another level of discussion to be had that cannot be summarized in one blog post haha.

as for those who would scream 'but special interests!!' at a character whose sect was founded by a literal monk - what would be the point?

PS. to comprise a starting point for why it's possible to see ND4ND everywhere in media if you looked hard enough - I refer you to the seminal red oni blue oni trope 💁‍♀️

[nocturna-iv]

what are your opinons on audrey?

You're going to hate me because I'm going to go too far off.

On D1 I hated Audrey. But I think that was one of the purposes of the movie. The way they introduced her and made her act... I didn't like Audrey. But especially since my first ship in Descendants was Jaylos.

And I'm not going to lie to you. D1 I saw it with a friend the first time. And from the first second, we saw Carlos and Jay it was "They are a couple, right?" A few more scenes "They're a couple.".. and at the end... In the last scene... Audrey appears all beautiful and powerful... and flirts with Jay and dances with him. And, I understand. If Audrey does that to me, I'd make Jay's goofy face too.

Also,  I love "Set it Off". I don't know. I don't talk much about D1. But things were different back then. I liked Mal, I liked Bal. Ben in "Set It Off" looks very sexy. I like the lyrics. I like the movie. And I'm a sucker for reimagining fairy tales.

But... Audrey was "ruining" my Jaylos with that last dance. And the idea of a pretty girl that her revenge is dating her ex's best friend... Not my cup of tea.

Then I watched the movie again with a group of friends. All nerds to analyze stories. And there I realized many things. Like Mal never tells Ben that she actually put a spell on him to use him. And hundreds of other things.

But do you know what I noticed the most? How horrible everything that happened must have been for Audrey. Ben breaks up with her publicly and out of nowhere. Hours before they were the perfect (and incipient, I know) couple who was going to get married and then he sings a song to the daughter of the villain who ruined her mother's life? Poor Audrey!

So all my friends and I came to have a strong empathy with Audrey. Would we have done the same? We didn't know. But Audrey is a Queen Bee and a teenager. All that power, heartbroken, humiliated and in the blink of an eye with an uncertain future. I'm not going to judge her. If she were an adult I would. But she was only a teenager. And all of us, as teenagers, have done something stupid or extreme.

Still a no-no to Audrey flirting with Jay hahaha

D2 arrived. There was no sign of Audrey. And I got distracted by a powerful couple by Uma and Harry. Chad goes from being this idiot who flirts with girls and uses them to be this goofy puppy in love who is the mockery of everyone.

D3... Thousands of ideas. But about Audrey? My poor princess! My Queen of Mean! By this point, we got to know so much about her and... Oh, Gods! What terrible things. All by focusing on Mal, they left hundreds of things in the air, loose or bad.

Are we sure Ben isn't still under a spell? Audrey and he were friends, and I come to find out that there was never a talk between them? Not even when she came back? GODS!

Hundreds of bad things... Hundreds! As I said, let's rewrite D3.

Plus, they made Audrey blonde. And they lightened her skin tone.

Audrey deserves better than being this character that her only motivation is her ex-boyfriend.

Actually, Audrey and Evie have a lot in common. Their families raised them to be with a prince, to define themselves as a beautiful princess on the arm of a prince. Evie has her growth as a character. But Audrey? In D1 she became cruel because she loses her boyfriend. In D3 she became the villain because she has lost everything since she lost her boyfriend and no one has been kind enough to ask her if she's okay! The only character who cares about her, we came to find out, is Chad, who now everyone makes fun of and sees him as a joke.

I like Audrey for the potential she has. Can you imagine how things would have been if they had treated her with some respect? (Chad and her. From a certain point in D1, Ben lost his best friends. His only friends are his girlfriend's friends in all the movies. That's not healthy.)

Already in D1 Audrey had her moment to reevaluate her life, her power, her social status, her future, who she was. Actually, in Descendants: Wicked World she is friends with Ben and Mal, Audrey is still friends with Jane and Lonnie. And Audrey is completely dedicated to holding events, being a leader, organizing things. She is still a princess waiting for a prince to save her, but she isn't looking for a boyfriend and she has already got over Ben. I would have liked them to continue that idea on D2, with Audrey being a good friend and comforting Ben. In that conversation, she would realize that just like Ben is defining himself solely by his future with Mal and by being with Mal, she has only defined herself as a princess and with the idea of ​​marrying an idealized prince. Audrey would have been the first to remind him that he's the king and he's forgetting a lot of things for playing with Mal to pretend to be the perfect bride and groom in front of the press. Things like his initiative for the VKs that stopped since he's gawking at Mal. 

Not only that, but Audrey would also have been there to advise Mal about the press and the pressure of being Ben's girlfriend. Audrey would have talked to Ben about how Mal may enjoy the attention when she jokes around or has a plan, but that doesn't mean she's ready to deal with all the attention.

Audrey would have accompanied Ben to the island for two reasons. Evie says the more the better (Audrey wants to protect Ben, she doesn't know yet, but she's starting to stop acting like the damsel in distress and taking control of the situation). And because Audrey wants to talk to Mal because only Audrey really understands what Mal is going through, getting lost in the illusion of the perfect girlfriend until she doesn't recognize herself in the mirror.

Imagine Sea 3 meeting Audrey. While Evie and Audrey were talking to Mal, Ben was kidnapped. Okay? Well, imagine Audrey interrupting Harry in the middle of one of his threats, raising her finger and in a very regal attitude "I won't let you talk like that, pretty boy". And Uma quite impressed that this is an AK that isn't afraid of pirates. And Gil would have been "She's the second person who has left Harry speechless." And Audrey would have looked at Uma with a small smile "Tell your boyfriend to let me board and you and I can talk. I was Ben's girlfriend and I was preparing for years to be queen. I know how the Council works. I'm not a VK, not a pirate, but I know how Auradon works." "He's not my boyfriend..." "Oh please." Audrey boards Lost Revenge "You obviously have a problem with Mal, and I get it, she tends to ruin people's lives without realizing it. No offense Mal. But what you want is the same thing Ben has always wanted. So let's talk."

SO MANY GOOD THINGS!

D2 may have been about forgiving and leaving the past behind. Let Mal realize that just like she could change, others can. That you should stop resenting others. Because D2 could still have Mal betray Uma, but the message would have been more about "I judged you as everyone judged me. Like I judged myself. And I was wrong. We can change." And Ben would have had learned that love shouldn't distract you from your goals and who you are as a person.

My opinion on Audrey is that she has so much potential!

[laceymorganwrites]

somebody wanted my thoughts on Rei so here they are hehehe

I already ranted to my friend abt this but I´ll keep it more neutral and organized here haha

um I´m tagging u just in case, hope that´s alright! 

@star-doll-universe

uuuuh since this is bnha: pls no hate, those are just my opinions, k thanks bye (I mean ur still very allowed to voice ur opinon and have a different one than me, I won´t hate u cause u like her so pls don´t hate me cause I hate her)

putting this under a  cut cause spoilers

okay so let´s do this chronologically and work our way up to the point where I aboslutely started hating her (Aka the chapter 2 weeks ago)

Her portrayal:

Rei used to be portrayed as rather weak and quiet, not rlly doing much

and I never had a problem with that since I didn´t think she´d have that much of a role

I mean what I thought would happen was this: Rei is back with her family, Enji is no longer living with them, they all still hate him

um I will also quickly state my thoughts on him later when I´m done with this so yeah

now the problem I have with her ´character development´ is that it´s super sudden and feels really out of place

I mean she just suddenly barges in to Enji´s room and is being ´badass´ after not doing anything at all for her family??? aight

yeah she had her children visit her (minus Touya ofc, we´re gonna get into that in the next part)

it just really rubs me the wrong way how she´s suddenly acting like the savior and commanding people (going into depth in the third part)

she´s highly manipulative and even worse than Enji in my opinion

let´s get to why that is

What happened and why I´m a Shoto fan now:

let´s start with Touya´s childhood

Rei completely neglected him because Shoto was just her little angel and the wonder child Touya never could be

she did tell Enji to give him more attention so I´ll give her that

however it was also her fault that Touya and her had a falling out since he wouldn´t have been this angry if she was there for him

she was supposed to watch him on that particular day and she didn´t

of course she didn´t since she watched Shoto

she also isn´t shown to have cared much about the others

oh also, sorry to break the chronological stuff but it´s said that she was super cold and cunning when she met Enji and fully aware of the reasoning for the marriage obviously

so she never showed any love to him (they did go on dates and stuff and Enji still leaves her flowers, but we´ll get into their relationship in the next part)

so. she didn´t watch Touya and didn´t rlly care what happened to him (yeah she cried but only cause Enji got mad and she knew he would cause she fucking failed as a mother)

now. let´s skip to the hospital scene

she goes in like she owns everything

blames Enji for everything which just isn´t fair (again we´ll get to that)

and then she has the audacity to tell everyone what their next move should be???

excuse me maam but who the fuck do you think you are?

´our family only has one hero left. Shoto´

fuck you

that was the sentence that did it for me, guys

first of all: again, who the fuck are you to deny Enji´s hero status? who the fuck are you to paint Touya as a villain that, YOU MADE IN THE FIRST PLACE

yeah I´m biased af since Touya´s my fave but honestly...I always thought she´d be nicer to him and understand him since they went through the same thing

but no

and now why am I a Shoto fan because of this?

because I feel so incredibly sorry for him

he already has the weight of the world on his shoulders from his dad and now this???

I don´t understand how he forgave her honestly cause this guilt tripping and manipulation is worse than Enji´s ambition gone wrong

Shoto already has enough to do and she can´t tell him and command him to fight his brother

she cannot just pressure him into being the hero he never wanted to be, the perfect hero that Enji wanted him to be

I mean just imagine ur own mother sculpting u just like ur dad did when she´s the one who always told u that what he did was wrong and that she felt for you 

yes she apologized for scarring him but honestly she´d do it again

and now she´s acting as the victim again and being like: oh you all have to fight Touya (mostly Shoto tho cause he´s the only hero they have left apparently)

I don´t think Shoto even wants to fight Touya honestly

I mean he´s his brother still and if anyone can understand him it´s him

also now it makes sense why Touya wants revenge on Shoto cause he lived the life Touya wanted to have

anyway

I also don´t think Touya wants to fight Shoto since he´s already achieved everything he wanted to. he won

okay now for the final part:

Enji´s redemption:

I am outing myself now; I really like Enji´s development

he actually is aware of and sorry for the things he did and I believe him

he regrets everything he did

and still he´s being blamed by Rei

he´s already hurt enough and Rei just puts salt into his wound more than necessary

he´s just tired, man, let the man live pls

yes, Enji did fuck up in a lot of ways and he shouldn´t be forgiven for that

but everyone deserves a second chance and he´s trying so hard

he doesn´t deserve to be shut out like this

he doesn´t deserve the way Rei treats him

she doesn´t love him, I don´t buy it

if she did he´d tell him he´s a hero cause he is

she´s also kind of putting their children against him tbh

she just says Enji is at fault for everything that happened

and if we compare what they both did wrong we can see something very clearly

Rei is the victim and Enji is the bad guy

why is that?

why is Rei forgiven for neglecting Touya and burning Shoto and Enji is burned at stake for anger issues and his inferiority complex? 

they were both abusing their children

and only one of them gets completely forgiven

it´s so unfair to me

[life-rewritten]

The Relationship of Tul and Tin- A Chance To Love episode 5 vs The Heirs (a comparison) Part 1/2

Warning!! Massive essay ahead about A chance to love.  I know people hate to read long essays but try give this a go. Breaking down Tul and Tin’s heartbreaking dynamic is just so insane and I want people to see the layer of depth Mame writes her characters, Took me 4 hours to write and edit. So please if  you can read it and let me know your opinon. 

I find it fascinating that the works of two of my favourite authors' work have a lot of connections though they write for two different genres. One is Kim Eun Sook a Korean drama writer with the work known as Heirs (This wasn't her best work, but it's what I will be analysing today) and Two is Mame, a Thai writer with the work A Chance To Love (ACTL). At first, I thought the similarities don't add anything when analysing the show. Still, after episode  5 of ACTL, I ended up running back to the Heirs and realising the amount of analysis derived from putting the two together. We're going to focus on Tin and Tul, two brothers that are placed in the spotlight in episode 5 of ACTL and we're going to try and understand the characterisation of Tul. Is he really evil cold-hearted and cruel for no reason, or is there a part of humanity still with this character. Let's find out.

Let's first summarise the two shows; why they are similar in terms of character breakdown and arc?

THE HEIRS

In Heirs, we're introduced to Tan and Won two brothers who conflict with each other. The first episode starts with Tan tricked into being exiled abroad by his older brother, he realises the reason as he stays abroad, his brother sees him as a competition for the 'throne,' i.e. their father's heritage to the company. Won sees Tan as a dangerous rival, now that he's managed to secure being the president of the company. Story short Tan and Won are half brothers, Won's mum is no longer living in the household. Tan's mum has moved in as the mistress; the father is waiting for Tan to grow and also be involved with the company, Won who loves the company and wants to keep running it does not wish Tan to steal it from him. So even when Tan returns to Korea later and tries to convince his brother, he does not care about the company affairs, Won refuses to speak to him, moves out and keeps Tan at a distance.

Meanwhile, Tan falls in love with his servant's daughter, and Won realises he has to sacrifice his own relationship with also a girl from different status to him for an arranged marriage with one of his father's partners if he wants to keep the company afloat. As the story goes on though Won starts to bond with Tan again and later takes place as his father figure, protecting his brother's new relationship, taking over the company but at the cost of his own true love. He ends up choosing to get engaged to protect both the company and prevent Tan from having to lose his own lover. His ending is bittersweet, but we're happy he and Tan are together again, a team and dedicated brothers.

ACTL (1-5)

A chance to love follows Tin who is in university and has just started to fall for someone not of his status Can. His brother Tul is also a workaholic, with an unknown wife and a five-year-old child and we can tell he also had an exciting relationship with one of his servants who's no longer with him. Tul has a mask on, he smiles and acts on the surface but when he's with Tin although he pretends, he leaves snide marks and triggers Tin who now detests his brother. Tin used to look up to Tul when they were young (again he took his pseudo father figure position) but Tin later realises Tul was out to get rid of him and also send him abroad with a ruined reputation. Because of this Tin is now cold-hearted and does not trust people anymore, and is determined to tear off his brother's mask. Meanwhile, Tul laments about his choices that made him this way, and we see that he also is suffering in the environment he was forced to be in.

See the similarities? Two brothers with two similar type of lovers, who are forced to hate each other because of the environment somebody nurtured them in. I want to go deeper into each of the dynamics and why it's easy to connect it to Tul's arc and answer the question posed in this post,

THE PERCIEVED FIGHT FOR THE ‘THRONE’

The similarities between Tul and Won is the need to succeed to prove they are essential to their family. The family dynamics between the two is simple; they've been tossed aside by the family because of a new arrival by Tin and Tan. For Won he loves to work for the company of his father, his goal is to own it one day, he enjoys the work he does for the family. For Tul, whilst it's not yet clear,  he seems to hate the path he's on, he resents himself and feels alone but believes he deserves it. For both to take over and reach their goals, a sacrifice was made.  Won gets married to a woman who he doesn't want to be with, and Tul also ends up in a relationship he was forced into to provide an heir, also sacrificed himself and happiness in the process.

Both believe that their brothers are in their way, will betray them someday if they're not careful, their younger sibling needs to grow up and actually realise the reality of their oppressive environment. Unfortunately, Tul is more vengeful for this, he's put Tin as a proxy for anger at all that he's had to lose, and he ends up betraying Tin more than the way Won betrays Tan. Another difference is how Won is deadly honest to Tan; he tells him never to return and stay abroad messing around, he warns Tan that he sees him as a rival. Tul pretends to have a mask with Tin, and makes snide comments alluding to their past but doesn't even bother to tell Tin the truth; he continues to hide behind an act which he believes is needed, as Tin needs more evidence that his brother is actually as evil as he found out and show this to the world. Tul has decided to keep that mask and never to let it fall to stay and control family assets and manipulate situations. Won did not have that much anger or energy towards Tan.

THE MOTHER AND STEP MOTHER

Another important thing about these two's differences and similarities is the abandonment of both's mum by the family. Won's mum and himself are not the father's priority (she’s dead), and Tan and his mum (who is the mistress) replace their place. Tan's mum wants Tan to try and fight for his assets and not let anyone steal his home, and she goes through the consequences of being seen as a mistress in the show.

Meanwhile, Tul's foreign mum was hated by his grandmother (They'll reveal this later) and she abused both Tul and his mum before convincing the father to marry a Thai woman (Tin's mum) and give birth to another son. Tin's mum, on the other hand, is selfish and vain and only uses what benefits her, she's actually not as caring as Tan's mum hence why Tin becomes more pressured to be better than his brother. The latter is faking being the family's number one son (in terms of talent, work and reputation). It's revealed, and I will get into this even more later that Tul damaged Tin's standing in the family and Tin's mum didn't care as long as she was still looked favourably by Tul ( more likely to take over the 'throne') 

Again ACTL has a harsher dynamic with Tul, his own mum isn't available to help him with his trauma, and he ends up being in a very abusive environment once she is kicked out and abandoned. Tin, on the other hand, has no love from his mum, or father and also becomes colder than Tan because of his own trauma from his brother and environment.  Tan's mum is actually naïve, gentle and just wants love from the father, her son is her number one treasure. She spoils him despite the stifling environment he's in because of his brother and stepmother and father who fuels that.

The Love Interest

Both brothers also have a similar arc with their love interests, one is darker, but let's focus overall on the meaning. Won is in love with Hyun Ju a tutor for the rich kids similar to the kind of girl Tan falls in love with, she is not of the same status as him, and he and her fight to stay together at first, break up and makeup. Once it seems like everything is right, his father falls into a coma and to save the business, he sacrifices their relationship for the company and his family. Tan, on the other hand, goes through the show always choosing Eun over his money, or society opinions, and chases after her. He gets her to fall for him despite her desperation not to and with the help of his brother later he manages to be with her at the end after having to fight against society, his father, arranged fiancee etc. Eun is his servant's daughter, and they met when they didn't know what the other was, she hates being bought or feeling like she owes a debt, so she tries to avoid Tan as much as possible each time a confession is made. Tul's story has not yet been revealed; however, we can tell he also was in a secret 'taboo' relationship with his servant. Actually, he and Hin have known each other since they were kids, Hin saw the abuse and pain Tul went through and chose to become Tul's 'light/help', they both were traumatised when little by the grandma

. However, we see Tul feel resentful for whatever choice he made (marrying someone or getting someone pregnant) because he also agrees Hin left him because of these decisions, Hin like Hyun Jo is still in love with Tul and can't forget him. Hyun Jo was a victim at the end of Heirs, but from what can be derived from dialogue,  Tul and his wife aren't close anymore, might be divorced once he got his heir, but Hin is no longer with him by his side. The love interest for both Won and Tul actually mirrors the relationship both their brothers later have with people who are similar to their lovers. The difference is Tin, and Tan's relationships are more happier, lighter and linked to idealistic love stories whilst Tul and Won's focus on the reality and truth of the sacrifices they had to make. Tul is going to have more reasons to be jealous of Tin when he discovers he's found himself someone like Hin in his life who is just as loyal and bright. This means because of this jealousy he could be the villain and try ruin TinCan or he could only try to prevent Tin from entering a situation where he'll be unhappy (if he's not actually evil). Either way, Tul will try and stand in the way of TinCan. 

Storyline

Both Tul and Won sacrifice their happiness and actual self for the partaking of their family customs, both to protect the reputation their family has, and to accept the role that they have to be as the oldest son. Won at first is scared of Tan and tries to push him away. Just like Tin, Tan keeps going to Won to try and uncover his mask (however he doesn't resent his brother, he's trying to get his brother to accept him as his brother and be his pseudo father figure).

Tul uses Tin as a proxy for the abuse he suffered, and wants to get revenge on both Tin and Tin's mum for causing his circumstances, Tul's mindset is warped, he's been emotionally, physically and mentally abused and so vengeance and anger is what he clings onto to keep him going, (this even shows up in his consensual sadomasochism relationship with Hin which I'm not sure is going to be similar in the show).

Either way, Tul only chooses to be number one, and take back 'the throne' by ensuring Tin's reputation is ruined, and he's not seen as a threat. He also later gives in when he's forced to marry and get someone pregnant for the sake of his reputation and also ends up hurting Hin. Tul's story is like a continuation of what happened to Won at the end of Heirs (Won however as I said before has more humanity and less trauma so even though he's heartbroken he's mended the relationship with his family, and friends and so is still happy), Tul's chosen to sacrifice and now has the child, but he believes he doesn't have the right ever to be happy and doesn't have the emotional, psychological capacity to believe in trust, love or hope.  He's broken and damaged, and the only person who knows his most authentic self is Hin. Tul might not be like Won in terms of not actually wanting to hurt or ruin Tan, he's determined to ensure Tin doesn't get in his way but shows some conflicting emotions each time Tin comes to him to stand up to him.

So is Tul as evil as we think he is or is he just someone who's layers need to be uncovered to sympathise and understand? I’ll continue this in part 2. Here

[popculturebuffet]

Ducktales Reviews: Escape from the Impossibin! or A Dark Night of the Soul

It’s a long dark night of the soul for everyone’s favorite family of ducks as our beloved family grapples with the revelations of last episodes. While Scrooge clearly smarts from the betrayal he pits his latest security system against Della and Louie, given the title it naturally goes wrong and forces all three to try to escape. Meanwhile Beakly sics Webby on Huey and Dewey, and Dewey gets a cool new sword he can’t use while Huey has a slow burn mental breakdown.. again. Someone get my poor boy some therapy.  Suprises, Also an exaustingly deep dive into the life of Bentina Beakly. Disguises but sadly not pies of all sizes insue under the cut.

Well.. this one was fantastic. Obviously i’ll explain why as we go but holy shit I was not expecting a master class of an episode just one week after the already great Let’s Get Dangerous. And yes I had my complaints there but none of them, especially on the second watch, really detracted from what was honesty an amazing episode. And after slogging through “Catch as Cash Can” over the past few days, this was a welcome return to the version of the duck family I love best and a crisp reminder of why this series is so frigging amazing. I may criticize, i’m a critic comes with the territory, but I genuinely and wholly love this show, and this episode is encapsulates why. So enough lollygagging, let’s dew it to it!

We open with one of those scenes where two characters give a similar speech and it flashes back between both as they finish each other’s sentences. It’s a storytelling choice I never realized I always loved as it’s always a good way to amp up tension or comedy. It’s a good way to start. At the Mansion, Beakly is lecturing Donald, Huey and Dewey, because both families likely talked Launchpad into just sharing different days with each of them after the first inevitable sleep driving car crash so he’s with his boyfriend and child right now. It’s also really nice to both have almost the entire main cast given something to do for an episode AND have the one missing member have a thoroughly valid reason for not being there that was set up last week.  It’s also really nice to see Donald and Della again. While it’s only been two weeks, both have only featured in one episode this block so far, and Della’s been kind of pushed to the side this season.. not unfairly mind as she was the focus for two solo episodes and a ton of episodes last season for obvious reasons but it dosen’t mean I can’t miss my disaster twins when they aren’t around.  So anyways back on the episode, Beakly is naturally assuming theirs more traitors in their midst, and she and webby have narrowed it down.. this dosen’t really come up aside for a gag in a second for the rest of the episode, but is both funny and two of them are clearly setup for later. Have a look

My thoughts in order: 

Little Bulb: He probably IS plotting to betray them, but for entirely unrelated reasons.  Donald: .........................................................................................................

Look I get it on some level, as he was away from the family a long time, hated Scrooge, and had every reason to betray him. BUT, and it’s a bit but, besides the obvious of Bradford and his goons being the reason they gave up looking for his sister, if for good reason, Donald would’ve TOLD them all about that by now if he’d been spying, or if he’d had any dealings with the man. The man loves his family, uncle included, more than anyone and even at their lowest point I doubt he’d sell the man out for the boys sake unless FOWL threatened them. Donald is principaled, hardworking, loving, and has both dove directly into a nest of shadows and sent himself hurtling to earth in a possibly lethal rocket to protect this family, so even if this is a funny gag, it does bother me Beakly and ESPECIALLY Webby, his surrogate niece, would even consider this. That being said while I felt the need to rant because he’s my boy and I feel protective of him, it was damn funy as Donald naturally tries to wipe it off because.. yeah everything above, only to get caught in the flipping board and ending up as above with Beakly forced to admit it’s probably not him. Plus yeah.. he’s also way too clumsy and anger prone for wetwork so there’s also that. 

Fenton: I’m TEMPTED to use the trunks picture twice in a row but besides that being obnoxious.. I get it MORE here. Donald has no motive anymore, would’ve told them by now if he had when he did, and has broken his back for all of them at one time or another. Probably literally in some cases. Fenton is sweet, loyal and another one of my boys.. but his obviousness has left him open to deception in three different episodes, not counting the tolkyolk one since that wasn’t BOYD”S choice: But he put blueprints out online for a mcduck industries project, got his armor taken by beaks luring him in to work for him, and had Gandra working for Beaks snuck into his lab.. and probably in the process also got any info on it Bradford couldn’t get through company files. He’s a good man, a kind man but he could easily be a leak without realizing it and also has a mother at home and could be threatened into doing stuff for them for her saftey.. and yes I know she can take care of herself but we’re talking a regular cop against secret agents who aren’t above murdering one. He  might panic even if rationally he knows she’s fine.. or they could do the inverse and use her to get secrets from him since she’s a mother and Gandra could probably easily hack fenton’s armor, since Bradford probably has the full blueprints at this point. The point is while I don’t see him betraying them WILLINGLY, I get him being a possible leak. Donald could be, but again is too obvious and likely reguarly checked for bugs anyway long before fowl, as is Launchpad I assume. 

Bluescreen Beagle: I don’t know this dude, but I’m betting he’ll be important soon enough since they brought him up at all and he is a beagle working for Scrooge so that alone is interesting. 

Louie: Yeah unlike my boys I have no excuses for him here. While Louie is family, and has proven his own loyalty plenty... he’s also selfish, greedy and shortsighted so like Fenton he could be an easy accidental pawn at best or turn on them for money or an adventure free life at worst. I don’t think he would mind, i’m just more understanding of this given just last episode his response to a clearly suspicious thing making machine was to ignore any suspicion entirely and whine about it while Huey looking into it ended up saving the universe. He also nearly killed them all last season, so fair enough.   

So yeah Beakly is going to train them to 

WHich the boys are all for while Donald gets all spinny eyed ont he floor. Cue credits... though obviously we have to cover the scrooge side of things too... 

Meanwhile at the bin, Scrooge has brought Louie and Della there because there the sharpest mind he knows, and their seeing all the angles means their the perfect test subjects for his new post-deeply cutting betrayal security system. He also obviously goes off on an alteration filled rant at Bradford that has to be cut before he can get to calling him shiteating. And given he’s a buzzard that’s probably not inaccurate. Point is they are genuinely the best ones for the job and both agree.. Louie’s not really enthuastic about any of this but hey it’s their money this is guarding so why not. So with that done since we have two full plots to deal with and they don’t intersect until the last few minutes, like with Forbidden Fountain of the Foreverglades, i’m going to be splitting this one and covering each bit separately since it’s also easier for me to recall and recap that way. 

Beakly, Brah, Making Kids (and herself) Cry, Brah!: 

A can of coke to whoever figures out that reference first. Or a free review comisson shipping Coke is expensive you know? But yeah as you can tell this bit is not going to go well for any of the kids, or the beakly or my heart. So this plot continues at breakfast, where Huey is meticulously going over both his guidebook and Finch’s Journal to see if there’s ANY signs of F.O.W.L. their connection anything.. it’s also very clear he’s panicking. Given his enitre life is built on logic and he’s now facing a threat he probably feels he SHOULD have seen coming.. I mean they clearly have access to the Missing Mysteries, there must be SOME tie to them SOMEHOW. He, in my opinon at least, feels blindsighted and scared, going up against a group using his own love of logic that blindsighted all of them INCLUDING Scrooge, the most clever and daring adventuerer of all time and Beakly, who was likely responsible for seemingly wiping out F.O.W.L. in the first place. If THEY can be blindsighted, what hope does he have? So he’s searching for it in his comfort texts, kind of like I did at his age: when theirs a crisis trying desperatley to solve it even if you really can’t, which he cannot, at leats not alone.  Dewey of course being Dewey, has decided the solution is to get a massive sword he can’t lift and hit people with it and mock Huey for his reading. Huey gets what’s clearly the start of his episode long emotional breakdown, the worst he’s had of SEVERAL this series and over the biggest stakes thus far, seriously get this boy some therapy, while Dewey just thinks the key to beating their worst menace yet is a giant sword to hit things with. He does break a pot with it in an accidental spin attack in a later scene though so I do apricate that reference. 

But when opening the serving tray they find an attacking Webby instead with Beakly explaining why she’s doing this to her surrogate brothers: Beakly is testing them by having Webby sneak attack them at some point and the’ll never know when, while Beakly herself works with Donald to secure the house.. sadly we don’t get to see any of that latter part, as it’s probably full of hilarious slapstick, but it’d also clash heavily with the rest of this plot which, while not lacking in jokes, is meant to be uncomfortable and have us on edge like the boys, so fair enough. Webby “Bringer of Death” hugs htem saying this is going to be fun. 

Naturally it really REALLY isn’t as Huey is still very shaken by this. And it cleverly ties into what’s been shown from day one and especially this season to be his greatest weakness, and very likely the crux of his character arc: Huey can’t improvise. It’s a nice contrast to Louie last season: Louie’s very talent is thinking on his feet, seeing every angle and making them bend the way he wants. I’ts how he schemes as well as he does, how he fits into the family and what makes him himself. What he needed was to think of others and think through the consequences of his actions. That’s what he gained from his arc last season: perspective, the ablility to improvise while also not shooting himself in the foot for later and to have empathy for people.  Huey is the oppoisite: Instead his ablility to think IS his skill. He’s a genuis, able to understand super science on the level of fully grown adult genuises, able to puzzle through confounding mysteries, to solve any problem. He and huey both are gifted with anyalsis, but Louie sees the small picture, the people, the moving parts at the moment, while Huey sees the big picture and how everything connects to lead to one thing and loves learning more and more. I REALLY relate to him that way. But this season has brillinatly drilled in where he needs to improve: He’s not ready for suprises or deviations from his plans or all the things that could go wrong. He can’t improvise, he just panics. It’s something again I relate to and something that each of his episodes has set up leading to this moment hammering it home and me realizing what his arc was:

Challenge of the Senior-Junior Woodchucks had Huey utterly lost without his Guide Book for a while and unprepared for a sudden challenge in Violet. Quack Pack had him unravel when he couldn’t figure out what was wrong with the world, yet he was perfectly fine once he knew what was going on, Astro B.O.Y.D. was entirely about his intellgence and need for structure leaves him bullied and alone a lot of the time even among in his element with the woodchucks and how he finds friendship in someone like himself who gets him. Rumble for Ragnarok showed that while he can comment find for sports like golf where there’s rigid structure, rules and history, he fails as bad as Launchpad at calling wrestling because wrestling is just as much about sponteaniety as planning, with run ins, reff discrations and other chaos being part and parcel and even in real life matches often have to be changed on the fly due to injuries or someone simply coming up with a better finish at the last minute. At the same time the season’s shown how it is vital to him, as the next two, The trickening and forbidden fountain showed WHY his structure works and that it can in the right format, and that he usually has reason for it. And the final one showed that too, with him being the one to find out what Bulba’s up to simply by research, and while he didn’t stop it, his pulling at the threads of why Bradford was there and his hate of them forced FOWL out into the open which, while now putting him on edge, forced their enmies into the open where while their more dangerous, they can now at least strike back.  Huey’s arc is , hopefully if i’m right about this, about him having to learn to use his strengths with his weakneses, much like Louie last season: To adpat, to grow while not forgetting who he is and that not everything can be put in a box, as the creators put their interpretation of him. Not everything can be quanitfied or planned for and sometimes you just have to try and hope for hte best. It’s a damn compelling arc, my relating to it helps of course but it paints Huey as a fascinating character and tying it heavily into the main plot fixes how Louie was largely removed from the moonlander plot aside from one episode, as was glomgold’s quest. While the season has three main plots: A focus on Huey, the missing mysteries and FOWL, all three intertwine perfectly and are interconnected. The creators learned well from where they slipped up last time and the result is phenomenal, and they’ve clearly proven this is Huey’s season afterall: Even when he’s not been the a-plot who huey is, how he functions and being forced to grapple with the downsides of it are front and center and I am here for it. 

But yeah he’s breaking down, not helped by trying to go to beakly only to find out about the hidden bin and Dewey tries to help him calm down.. only for Dewey to walk in and unsuprsingly the one who can actually offer deep encouraging support was Webby who threatens this isn’t the attack. Nor is her dummy she leaves for them. The boys are left terrified hoping they won’t be attacked and holding Dewey’s sword, but Huey ends up convinced it’s just a test and that it’s the classic paranoia gambit: by telling them something will attack, the real lesson is to be prepared.  But Nerp, Webby attacks them with arrows and easily snares Dewey while Huey has a panic attack that’s genuinely hard to watch as he ends up running into the wall and breaking his ankle. This very real pain along with his clear trauma when he flinches at her genuinely trying to help him snap Webby out of it: She realizes she’s gone way too far and utterly terrified her own brothers, sending one into a full on mental breakdown, just to prepare them. Up till now it was probably normal for Webby: Beakly trained her rigorously, if understandably, kept her from the world, probably did this to her, and Webby just thought it was normal and it made her what she is. But it also came at the cost of any normalcy. To me Webby’s always been like a lighter, since she can at least speak, has toys and Beakly you know treats her like a human being rather than a weapon, of the second Batgirl, Cassandra Cain. Cassandra was raised from birth as an experiment to make the ultimate weapon, someone who rather than speak spoke in phsyical motion and could kill effortlessly.. but actually doing so shocked her and she escaped and Bruce took her in. Cass is as badass as Batman at a fraction of the age but dosen’t understand simple life things and can’t speak. Hence the parallel: While Beakly isn’t a monster like David Cain, she still took a small child and turned them into a weapon strugging to adapt to society, and only isn’t a monster because as said she clearly cares about webby and dosen’t want to loose her like she lost her child and in-law to whatever presumibly fowl related nightmare took them from her and left Webby an Orphan.  What i’m getting at with this is this feels like Webby realizing while this is her normal.. the boys can’t take it with Dewey terrified and again, Huey nearly broken by all of this and whimpering in a corner. This isn’t bonding between master and student, grandmother and granddaughter, partners in fighting.. this is just .. wrong. So when Beakly, not noticing how badly she’s damaged either boy, demands Webby continue attacking them, Webby refuses, stands firm.. and prepares to take on the person she loves most in the world, yes more than Lena she’s only 12 for christ’s sake, and Beakly gladly accepts. Webby’s training is in session.  When we next see them the fight is in full force, and it is awesome to see. After 3 seasons we not only see Beakly’s darkest aspects come out we see her granddaughter in the path. Though at first it seems like what their training sessions normally are, a friendly if lively and full force spar between two trusting combatants. But it becomes clear over the fight from Webby’s reaction that Beakly is going harder than usual, and doesn’t stop when asked. Thankfully her kind gesture paid off as Huey and Dewey whisk her up to the attic. Webby is genuinely SCARED, never having seen her like this but also worried for her: Acting like a monster or not.. Beakly is still her granny and it’s clear FOWL coming back has rattled her. The fist through the attick doors, barred with the sword proves that.  The kids head up to the roof with Beakly in persuit like some sort of slasher villian, again fist through a door, determined to still fight while Webby clearly just wants this to stop and so does the audience. This hurts.. intentionally so but I haven’t been cut this deep by two family members literally coming to blows since Amethyst fought Pearl in the first season of steven universe. It’s tough to watch but in a very good way. The boys break up the tension for half a second by  rushing her and she just tosses them aside... where their caught by Donald, who didn’t realize ANY of this was going on and is rigthfully pissed.. though dosen’t do the angry dance thing because then he’d kill his children but he’s sure thinking it loud enough. 

As Webby reluctantly readies for round 2, Donald calls at her to fucking stop already. While she counters with they have to be ready, which is true... Donald shuts her down. “Not like this”. She’s broken Huey and Webby and Dewey.. is traumatized but fine but this episode really isn’t about him.  What it is about is Bentina Beakly and her Dark Night of the soul. I brought up the term for dumb reasons admitely: Because it sounded neat and because Douglas Adams had spoofed it with the dirk gently novel “Dark Tea-Time of the Soul” a title that’s stuck with me and a book I own and still need to read. But I looked it up to make sure I wasn’t badly misusing it and it turned out to fit this episode: A Dark Night of the Soul, as defined by spirtual guru and thankfuly not scumbag Eckheart Tolle whose article explained the old expression better than wikipedia could. While he naturally pitches his book there, it was still helpful so thanks man for your spirtual advice helping me analyize ducks. I owe you one. 

The Dark Night of the Soul is essentially a person coming to their lowest point after having lost themselves or feeling lost, rattled by one event and awakening with a new sense of spirtual purpose and a new direction and a sense of self again after it. Having everything you know upended and coming out the other side with a new self, usually in a religious sense. And it works here because really that’s what Huey, Beakly, Scrooge and to a Degree webby face here. Louie, Della, Dewey and Donald are all fine in the face of FOWl and it makes sense: Louie and Donald are often outside the adventure bubble in terms of enjoying it, seeing it’s dangers to them and in Donald’s case his kids, Webby included, and how much chaos it is. Both have accepted it as part of their lives so while this escalates things, both just see it as just more of the peril and chaos that’s a daily part of their lives. Dewey and Della being thrillseekers and loving a good challenge simply see this as taking on an epic challenge: fighting the worst villians of the world off and having a daring story to tell. Webby similarly isn’t that effected at first because she sees it the same way likely and only starts to get bothered by it when it starts tearing her family, the thing most precious to her, apart over it. 

But for the other three it makes sense. Obviously we’ll come back to Scrooge during his part of the episode. But for Huey as we’ve seen this upends his world. There was a massive deadly secret just beneath him, an unknown beyond all unknowns, and it rattled him.. and having his own sister constantly terrorize him just made it worse. For Huey without consitencey his life falls apart as those prevoius episodes highlhted.l He can prepare for anything.. but he has to know it’s coming and having a villian group who strikes from the shadows is his worst fears manifest and preparing for that naturally breaks the poor boy. He gets through it though, as once it’s on someone else, his fear falls away and as we saw his focus is entirely on helping webby: Not on himself, not on the risk but on protecting his sister. It shows that Huey has the potenital for instinct, as seen with the woodchuck and wrestling episodes too, he just needs to get out of his own head and let it work with his gut instead of trying desperately to use only his head. 

For Beakly though it’s far worse... and really gets to the core of who she is in this series. She was, and probably still is, a Secret Agent, who fought long and hard to utterly destroy FOWL, at the cost of everything else, constnatly having to keep her guard up with spies all around her and with Scrooge apparently being the only friend from those days who lasted the whole time. SHe probably lost countless partners in both sense of the word, time and youth she’ll never get back and everything she had to stop them. She gave S.H.U.S.H. everything as far as I can tell.  And then she got her reward. FOWL was gone, she had a child, and possibly had a loving partner, provided they didn’t either leave her pregannt and alone or just grow apart from her eventually we don’t know at this point and i’m just spitballing. Point is she had a child, she had a happy ending.. except clearly.. she did not. According to the website, and it’s probably still accurate, Beakly was living in seclusion following her retirement, likely to keep anyone from harming her child.. but also because with her partner possibly gone, she had almost NOTHING left. A child that either kept her at arms length or she kept at arms length to keep their family safe, an old friend who was busy as is, and a safe world.. that’s all she had. Just her and alone. And that’s been clearly shown as Beakly’s biggest issue as we see: She has trouble letting others, even webby at times given how she lied at her, in and given all she’s lost it’s hard not to see why. After a life time of probably watching cold blooded killers kill people she loved and having people betray her and loosing the father of her child possibly, again it’s vauge, no wonder she is the way she is.  And then it somehow gets worse and better: She looses her child, one of the three people she has left in the world.. yet she finds herself in charge of Webby. And with that.. she has a purpose again, to protect this child. This baby girl who needed her more than anything. So she did.. a little too well as discussed. To quote the excellent song “Dark, Sad, Lonely, Knight” from the musical “Holy Musical B@tman!” which yes really exists: 

“I remember that horrible night that night you were split in two, and I swore I’d protect you. So I built a wall all around you, but the wall was too tall, it blocked out all the birds and the sun. I tried to raise you right! I tried to raise you proper! I tried to be a mentor and a friend and a mother and a brother too! I’d insulate you from any outside source of fright... i’d make bloody certain, you’d never see another, dark, sad, lonely night. “ 

And yes as you can imagine that was sung by Alfred.. but it fits perfectly. That’s how Beakly raised Webby, guarding her from the world, trying to protect her from the world the way she’d always guarded herself from it. She did hurt webby’s development.. but you can see WHY. She lost everything, she had two people left in her life at that point: One had given her home and the other had given her her soul back. She couldn’t loose Webby so she made sure she couldn’t and held her as tight as she could. It’s why she pushed Scrooge to let his young nephews into his life. She saw over her time with him he was doing what she did, pushing everyone out. She wanted him to avoid being alone like she was before Webby. And it worked.. and showed her Webby clearly wanted to see the world and that Bentina didn’t have to be afraid to show it to her anymore, and could let Scrooge share in doing so. She let her be free and opened up for the first time in likely a decade since she got a two year old dropped on her lap.  And soon wither she’d admit it or not she found herself part of the family. She found herself the voice of reason, sometimes sharing it with Donald, and the one to put both Scrooge and the rest of the family in their place when they nearly tore apart again, helping Donald realize that for all scrooge hurt him.. Scrooge hurt from loosing della too, and helping the boys realize Scrooge, much like herself, tends to lash out at people. She prevented them from getting distance from their family, knowing from experince you may never get them back or mend that wound. She was part of the family and for the first time in her life even if again, given her emotoinal distance she wasn’t really close to any of the duck family but Scrooge and her newly inducted Grandaughter, she still clearly cares and looks after them and even her harsh treatment of Della was well meaning and understandable.  And that’s why the F.O.W.L. revelation tears her apart to her very core, her very SOUL: Because not only is the enemy she thought dead, or may of known wasn’t dead we don’t know but this episode leans towards the former alive, not only is her worst enemy, one who nearly killed her grandaughter part of them once again, but their head was one of Scrooge’s most trusted advisors and associates, the man he trusted more than himself at times to do what the company needed and the only one who knew his deepest secrets besides Beakly herself. They now faced not only her worst nightmare reborn, but with vital info about them and everyone around them. And for all we Know F.O.W.L. took her family from her in the first place and now they easily could again and she NEVER saw it coming. It’s why she drives everyone including Webby so hard, because she can’t take loosing everyone she cares about again so they will be ready, they will be prepared even if it destroys them on the inside because she cannot take it again.. she can’t fail them AGAIN. I feel she puts a lot of the blame on herself because in this family it’s her job to be the suspicious one, to see things coming, to be ready, to be the one who knows EVERYTHING even more than scrooge.. and this apparently rattled her as much as he did and suprised her just as much. She failed and she can’t again even if Webby hates her for it.  But in trying to continue the fight.. she slips, Webby dodges and she falls off the roof.. and everyone helps her up. Even if they all have EVERY REASON to be mad at her they help. And Webby points out this can’t go on. They won’t get stronger tearing themselves apart.. their a family. They don’t need to do it like fowl, they need to be themselves and work TOGETHER. The one thing they have, the one thing they can trust is each other. Beakly is touched like this and realizes their right.. their not the enemy.. and there the one people,, for once in her life she can fully and completely trust. She tries apologizing to webby, they hug..and then gets an alert. What’s all that about? Well to get that that we kinda have to finish the other story.. which I would’ve put first had I realized this was going to be as long as it was but hey. 

Escape from the Impossibin 

Thankfully this won’t be as long or as emotionally complex.. entirely. So back at this plot about 20 minutes ago, Scrooge breaks down the challenge and the risk as it was made by the most devious and deranged minds he knows: Gyro and Quackfaster with Louie getting a good laugh out of me by pointing out “Why are the most devious minds in Duckberg friends of ours” to which I say because only Scrooge let’s them go all out, and on the friend part, at least for you, Louie...

I mean maybe Quackfaster, but you stole from Gyro multiple times now. And he hated Fenton for far dumber and more petty reasons why wouldn’t you assume he hates you too.. I mean he did help with Louie’s Eleven but there was also a good chance your head would explode there so I don’t really count it. 

Anyways Scrooge offers lunch if they make it, which Louie notes means he must REALLY not think they will. And the first test proves his overconfdience correct as we enter the most dangerous, devious and deadly trap Gyro could manage.. which given who we’re dealing with, i’d be very afraid. The ultra violent ultra violet trap seems at first to just be a bunch of purple, if really cool buzzsaws and sawblades, your standard super villian death course.. but Gyro being beyond your average super villian, I mean the only reason he’s not is he has a steady job that lets him build a clone army with company resources so why would he give that up, jazzed it up with an ultraviolet bit of bulbtech.. and due to the violet light it hides the traps ,meaning their invisible. And while Louie and Della try navigating them, they cannot get through as Louie runs out of PEP to spray them with and Della using her metal leg as a guide, which itself is awesome for her as she clearly and wisely made the thing nigh indestructible and we haven’t seen it tear or get destroyed once all series so good going, really should market that to other people in need of prostetics della and Scrooge. Scrooge is of course delighted as that’s the entire point even if his child and grandchild are understandably not as happy about it.  But naturally, as I hinted at in the teaser, it goes wrong as Scrooge’s password dosen’t work and he tries it too many times, been there, sucks. Granted Louie asks hilariously “Your the oldest man in the world why isn’t your password just 1234″.. and though the why is obvious, it’s still a good line. Point is their locked out and now have to escape it for real! Weirdly Scrooge dosen’t catch onto the fact of whose behind it, but we’ll get to that. He does have more pressing matters. Luckily Louie figures it out after an insult at the Bulbtech causes it to flash read, like most Bulbs do.. but since this Bulb’s entire purpose is to flash Purple, that means pissing it off makes the blades visable and while Scrooge is understandably sore that his 3 million dollar security system has such a big flaw in it, they escape. Though I get Scrooge’s frustration: Their going up against someone who knows how Gyro’s tech’s works, if Louie can figure it out so can Bradford and he wouldnt send FOWL in without a full briefing on Scrooge. 

We don’t see the next one as it’s a time loop room, it’s a time loop room, it’s a time loop room okay i’ll stop and so does Dell after Louie well meaningly smacks his mom. Next puzzle’s quackfaster and I like scrooge pulling a Dumbledore and having some of his most trusted advisors devise the traps for him. I may hate JK Rowling for good reason but I did always love that bit of the Sorcerer’s (Or phillosphers in the uk because the publisher’s weren’t as stupid) Stone. Death of the author and all that. Point is I like it here too even if i’ts truncated for time. But Emily’s trap is a bunch of tiles that fuck with gravity because apparently she’s magical now... who knew. I’m not questioning it though: She runs a giant library full of dangerous, and probably magical in some cases, literature.. if she didn’t know spells she probably woudn’t be able to sort some of them. It’s a new fact out of nowhere but it makes perfect sense. 

Point is they have to figure it out though Louie once again succeeds with some books and, in a really cool bit, using scrooge as a platform with the two walking in time and della grabbing on as they hit the master rune to shut them all off. It’s a damn cool sequence even if Scrooge is agrviated.  We then come, after they apparently fought a Squid Monster off screen, because Quackfaster can also apparently summon demons.. or gyro made a tentacle monster which dosen’t suprise me at all. Either way it’s the final challenge in the main room leading ot the bin and in the way of deactivating security: A Scrooge Robot! Because as we all know by video game logic, the Robot Version is always stronger. Of course Louie’s annoyed both at the spending of his inhertince and at Scrooge’s egotisim but he has a good point there and the thing looks hilarious clunky with 8-bit eyes.. till it morphs, to scrooge’s delight, into a giant purple robot with a cane and scrooge’s face on the front j jonah jameson style. I never see that spider-slayer refrenced but i’mg lad this one did. Granted it could be to arim zola or something but I feel the Spider-Slayer refrence fits here.. take a look if your curious. 

See? Anyways a fight insues with Scrooge, in a great bit, riling up Della when she fishes for him to admit she would’ve’ been a better base by bringing up Donald first instead. The trio get their asses kicked, and a pep can drops out, as naturally Louie was lying but it’s a rare flavor so I get it. I do. Thankfully his lies do save them however as the Cherry PEP he fires at the machine stuns it while Scrooge USES THE POGO CANE MOVE ON IT. Hell.. fucking yes. It’s about time we saw that again and in fully glory here too. I really want that game on the switch by the way.. where’s my disney afternoon collection.. WHERE CAPCOM WHERE.  But yeah they won.. and Scrooge is upset. Because this was SUPPOSED to keep FOWL out but if his family can beat it so can they. And now we get to Scrooge’s far less horrifying dark night of the soul as we get a sense of just how much this whole ordeal has rattled him: As he mentioned at the top of hte episode he TRUSTED  Bradford. It was clear he never liked him as a person, but Scrooge is a paranoid guy, he hardly trusts anyone and for someone to earn that it had to take a lot.. and it naturally stings. We see that while he may of been a necessary evil, SCrooge still liked the guy on some level and to have someone he trusts and respects betray him naturally shook Scrooge. He trusted someone.. and they knifed him in the back going against all he stands for. Instead of earning money, Bradford stole what Scrooge and others worked for while working to destroy him as soon as he feasably could and take his legacy for himself. To Scrooge, Bradford was revealed to be the worst kind of parasite and one that leeched off him for probably decades.  But what’s worse is the risk that creates: Bradford was one of his top guys and the only other one running the company: He knows EVERYTHING about Scrooge, every secret, every investment, where every treasure is stored, and everywhere he’s been. He knows about his friends, family, some of his darkest and most guarded for a reason secrets, secrets he’d never give away freely.. and can now use ALL of it to destroy his family and everyone they care about. That sheer level of betryal would rock anyone but someone like Scrooge, who BARELY trusts anyone and can even be paranoid of his own family from time to time? LIke beakly it’s easy to see why he spiraled and why he put so much into this: Because like Beakly, he was blindsided, and his buisness, his crown jewel, the thing he put his heart and soul into and worked hard to build up and CONTINUES to work hard on to this day.. was being slowly corrupted and he has no idea what parts or where or just what all Bradford did with his money and resources and what nasty suprises he has hidden in them. The one thing he could trust as almost entirely his is tainted, his sense of security tainted.. and his sense of self tainted. If Scrooge freaking mcduck can get blindsighted like this, just how powerful is his former friend? 

And we soon see Scrooge’s own fears manifest as Bradford hyjacks the robot, revealing this was, naturally him.. as of COURSE it was the guy who was revealed to be an evil mastermind who hates your guts. And because Scrooge didn’t change his password, which cleverly is the sum total of his money hence why it was a mass of numbers, which.. really dude? I don’t like doing it either and don’t change mine up if I can help it but even I did when someone tried hyjacking my spotify account. Yes that happened, I thought it was just a wifi thing, it was not. So yeah turns out Bradford was STILL one step ahead, and thus knew about the defenses and thus trapped Scrooge in them for reasons that will dramatically be revealed at the end of the episode. He also naturally attacks because just like JJ, he’s a crotchety old man whose yelling at our loveable rascals to in a sense, get off his lawn. Granted unlike JJ he’s clearly never came around, but the parallels are there. Point is it’s time for another fight this time using the gravity runes, with Scrooge hitting his despiar event horizon as if FOWL can outhink him on this what hope does he have. But like the rest of his family sans launchpad did for Beakly, Louie helps him through the other side and points out there are things they have they don’t.. and demonstrates as naturally the bulb tech used for the robot is just as irate so Louie tricks it into going after him then does a bin dive, with the massive amount of money destroying the thing and Bradford unable to get Gandra to stop it, so our heroes win... oh and Bradford left the company.. for some reason, because as his investors Scrooge can’t really remove him and I was curious how they’d get him out.. then again Scrooge probably, even as cheap as he is, had security cameras showing Bradford’s little talk with Bulba or any of his various rants as evidence. I mean Scrooge is stingy but he’s not STUPIDLY stingy. it’s the best I got, point is he’s to the wind now and our heroes have one! Except yeah.. the ending of the last segment. 

Lost the Battle, Time to Win the War

In an utterly amazing swerve we find out just what kind of alert Beakly got as the rest of this episodes cast have arrived at the bin and Beakly asks why Scrooge hasn’t answered his phone.. and when Scrooge does Bradford’s plan comes into view: Turns out he locked scrooge in as a DISTRACTION, keeping him in the one place no one could reach him. It also explains why he attacked Scrooge: Besides having the perfect weapon for it and getting to gloat, someone needed to keep him busy while the rest of his operatives finished his master stroke.  Turns out EVERYONE involved with one of the missing mysteries called: Goldie called to gripe about the fountain being gone and Scrooge taking it before she could, the Mervanans called to tell him the harp was swindelded by some eggheads and their good vibes did nothing to save her, we also get to see the pink one in full view which is nice but unimportant, and we get Drake back for a cameo! 

But sadly it’s because he just met Steelbeak for the first time.. again, and Beaky clearly beat the every loving shit out of him as he’s heavily bruised, and took the papers on Solgelo’s Circuit with him

And Gene called to tell them he was being kidnapped as the Blot, now with a fully functioning gauntlet got to him. So to sum it up F.O.W.L. in one night, took all the missing mysteries they’d gathered or found, beat one of their most trusted allies and made their new security system worthless. 

It was an utterly masterful story move: Firmly tying both plots together and confirming FOWL has SOMETHING bigger they want out of them. Some bigger plan, and as the last two weeks proved already knew where they were. Now it’s open war F.O.W.L.’s taken the first shot and hit hard. 

But Scrooge, now with his confidence restored thanks to Louie, instead of backing down, is galvanized: They’ve lost the mysteries they have but if F.O.W.L. wants the rest, their going to have to beat the greatest family of adventurers the world, and probably the multiverse if we’re being honest and yes that includes other versions of this family, has ever known to them first. Sneaking in the shadows, attacking them from behind, striking them while they were at their most vunerable? FOWL was in their element and won this round because of it. But now adventuring, traveling the world, finding rare artifacts lost to time? Now their in the ducks wheelhouse. As Beakly, finally accepting her place in the family and that she’s not alone, proudly states their not ready for them. And so we close on one badass group shot as Dewey tries to lift the sword again only for his siblings to help, minus Louie naturally who still looks on determined. Our heroes have been through their dark night of the soul, they’ve lost a lot and the villians are miles ahead.. but they’ve also come out of it together, determined, their doubts behind them for now, and FOWL firmly in their sights. They won the battle.. but the war’s far from over. Game on. 

Final Thoughts. 

God this was a good one, as you could probably tell from the way I went on and on about it but this was one of the series best.. and while I say that a lot, mostly because Season 3 has consistently been about them topping themselves again and again, this time it’s etched in stone. I thought this would be a good one but forgetable.. instead it’s easily one of the best dives into the cast, and one of the best bottle episodes i’ve seen, limiting the cast to just our heroes, a handful of cameos and our big bad and letting our heroes be their own worst enemies for most of it. IT’s a great character piece, with plenty of great fluid action set pieces, absolutely heartbreaking character stuff, and a hell of an ending that sets the tone for the final half of the season and possibly the series.  It also shut my mouth about the pacing, because as I hoped, much like season 2 it was slow on purpose: The first half, while also providing vital setup here and there, was also about telling stories they really COULDN’T once the FOWL plot kicked into gear for act 2. Getting trapped in a sitcom, a casual breakin of a gala where Donald meets the love of his life, a trip to tokyolk.. none of this would’ve really worked with Fowl at their heels. By taking their time they simply had more time to set the stage so when things kicked up with this act, things could stay intense.. minus the christmas episode but that takes place before these episodes so I don’t really count it. Point is the tone is firmly set, the stakes are high and things are at a level they’ve never been. This is one of the show’s finest and I expect i’ts only going to go higher and higher from here.  Also one last note Bradford, bud.. why did you out Gandra as an agent? You had to have known about the whole Fenton thing, you seem to know everything and a break in to Gyro’s lab would’ve been something Scrooge had to tell you about or you could learn about yourself. They didn’t know she was still evil or working for you or that she was even on their radar. Also related while Steelbeak and Blot’s missions were obvious it was easy to figure out who went where besides them: Heron went under the sea both because she was the odd one out and because Bradford was presumably still mad about the helicopter thing, while Rockerduck obviously took the fountain since he’d been there and knew where it was now it was properly restored.  Next Week: Kidcentric episode and the sabrewing sisters are back! Also while I don’t hate it, Lena’s blueform is simply a super mode.. phew. I mean I don’t dislike it but i’ts not a walk around in public thing. Point is kids teaming up for shenanigans, a mystic sword in the middle of x of swords AND the return of my two faviorite fowl agents. I’m pumped. 

Until then if you like this review there’s more reviews on the pages on my blog including a just finished this weekend review of the original Ducktales 4-parter, Catch as Cash Can. It was a trip. You can find that collected  into a handy series of links HEREEEEEEEEEE. Or if you prefer this series, as I do, you can find last week’s review of Let’s Get Dangerous HERE. If you like this review and want to here my thoughts on say an episode from the first two seasons (which I mostly haven’t covered yet), or another disney show, you can pm me on this very blog to comission an episode, just like one of my fans commissioned me to review catch as cash can. Or you can follow me on my patreon HERE.  Until next week stay safe, vote if your old enough and check your house for Gary Busey!