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narcolini · 2 years ago

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for brothers, pt. 3

angel reyes x oc: tatiana ‘pidge’ clarke, hurt/comfort, 2358 words

for day 10 of whumpril : shivers & ‘i’m scared’

a/n: omg i knOW i know. i know i said the last one was just an extra scene/epilogue but now theres another part and kjSHFgj`hfg its fine. its fine. the fic is sentient. thanku to @cositapreciosa for prompting this

tagging: @drabbles-mc @hausofmamadas @darqchilddaydreamz

Tati’s shaking when she finally finds the courage to knock, stood on Angel’s doorstep at God know’s what time. Not from fear, but from the cold that’s sunk itself beneath her skin, gripped the bones like a vice. She shouldn’t have left without a coat, shouldn’t have abandoned the Jeep three miles down the road. She shouldn’t be doing any of this at all.

He takes a minute to answer. She stares at the chipped paint in front of her, hearing him shuffle behind, before light finally tips out into the night. He’s got the door open just enough to see who it is, and his arm's tucked back behind his shoulder, gun in hand. She knows to expect it.

‘Woah. Shit, Tati.’ He swings the door open, stepping in front of it. He’s half dressed: jeans, a-tank, handgun. ‘You okay?’

‘No, not really,’ she answers, not bothering with pretences. He’s knows her well enough to know she’s not from looks alone. Her teeth are chattering between the words. ‘Can I come in?’

He hesitates, just long enough to make her feel real shitty about herself, real stupid and careless, and selfish for showing up here, for letting her feet carry her here on autopilot, but then he nods. Steps aside. Lets her in without any judgement at all—well, with only a hint of it.

He locks the door behind her, leaves the gun on the side table. ‘You couldn’t call or something?’

She scans the room. Dark, minus a lamp in the corner and the glow from the muted TV. Warm, too. Like he’s had a fire lit, but that’s just her. Just the difference of being in here and not out there, with the cold that’s chilled her so thoroughly. There’s a throw along the floor by the couch, thrown off, no doubt, at her arrival.

‘Were you asleep?’ she asks, forgetting he had wanted an answer out of her first.

‘Nah, I was just… I was up, yeah, watching TV and shit.’

Couldn’t sleep either, then. Probably as worried as she is, though he’d never admit it unless he had to. Unless he was having a fucking panic attack and she just happened to be there when he did. Vulnerability was the one thing that didn’t survive their break-up, a sacrifice that she didn’t used to mind. Now, she wants to ask how his chest feels, how the anxiety sits beneath his ribcage. If it weighs the same as her’s does, if it makes him do dumb shit like walking around in the middle of the night. If it’s even there at all.

‘Sorry, I should’ve called, you’re right.’ She nods, pulling her arms into herself. He may as well know the truth of it, the order of bad decisions that led to her being here. ‘I got, I don’t know, freaked out, and I just had to go for a drive or something. Couldn’t sit inside anymore. But then the jeep reminded me of EZ, and I kept picturing him there, in the back. The blood.’ She gulps. ‘Really fucking crazy shit, man.’

Angel walks past as she explains, then bends to hook the throw with his fingers and bring it up from the floor. Not to put it back on the couch, she realises, but to put it over her shoulders instead. No comment, no disruption to her story. Just the blanket around her, a tight-lipped smile, and then a sigh as he drops into the couch afterwards.

‘I pulled up at a gas station and left it there,’ she continues. ‘Walked around a bit and then, I don’t know. I realised I was walking here and I’d come too far to turn around again, and it was so fucking cold that I just thought—’

‘It’s cool, Tati,’ he interrupts, dragging it out. ‘I’m not mad’

‘But it’s not fair for me to just show up like this.’

‘So? None of anything we’ve seen this week has been fair.’

Not exactly true, though, is it? Because EZ started the shit with Yuma, but she can’t say that to him now.

When she doesn’t reply, he rolls his eyes and gestures to the seat behind her. ‘Will you just sit down, Pidge, we’re past all this shit. You know I’m here for you.’

She does as he says, landing with a thud. ‘Still feel like shit about it, though.’ If she had anyone else to go to, she would, but it’s just him. Especially at this hour.

He laughs, rubbing a palm over his brow. ‘Yeah, likewise. You think it feels good every time I need you for something?’

No, but she doesn’t mind helping. It’s the only thing that brings them together anymore. Besides, he’s yet to show up at her place in the middle of the night, shivering and desperate for it. Who knows how she’d feel then, how disrupted sleep would shape itself in he. She might not be generous at all, if roles were reverse. She might not wrap him in her blanket and let him babble about his night unprovoked.

‘You want a coffee?’ he asks, leaning his elbows on his knees. ‘A sweater?’

She nods. ‘Both would be good.’ She’d never have asked for them herself.

When he’s back, with two coffees and a hoody that smells like him, she’s finally starting to warm up. The extra layers and the caffeine does more than she expected them too. She’s no longer shivering, no longer doubting her right to be here, to come to him, no longer focusing on the tightness of her breath. If it’s not them, it’s him. His company has drawn the chill out and put her head straight again.

He’s sitting opposite her now, looking the same as he had when she arrived. Tired, indifferent, lived-in like she’s seen a thousand times before. If you went back a year, this is how it always was. Angel tired, worn through from the day, and Tati awake, just to be awake with him.

‘You gonna tell me what it is then,’ he says, resting the mug on his thigh. ‘Don’t think I’ve ever seen you worked up enough to go walking round, freezing your ass off. Not since that Potter bullshit, anyway.’

Not since the DEA had a target on Angel’s back and she was helpless to it. Just like now, really. Different shooter, same victim.

‘What’s got you so spooked?’ he asks, insistent on it now, and nudging the hesitance out of her.

‘Honestly,’ she pauses, incase she changes her mind last minute, and tucks the confession back to bed, before deciding, no, fuck it. She is, and she’ll tell him. ‘I’m scared, Angel. Like, really fucking scared.’

He frowns, which isn’t the reaction she was expecting. She didn’t think he’d crumble, obviously, or rush over to comfort her, but she expected more than that at least. More than brows tucked together and a squint like he can’t make her out.

‘The shit with EZ, Yuma. You.’ She forces a breath. ‘It’s freaking me out.’

‘But why?’ he asks. ‘None of this is new to you.’

She scoffs, yeah, that she’s aware of. It’s been years since she had the right to be surprised, or overly concerned, about club business. But this is different. Because they’re different.

‘Before, if something happened to you…’ She puts her hands to her face, fingertips against her temples then combing through her hair. ‘Fuck, I don’t know how to say this without sounding like I’m saying something I’m not.’

His lips pull down around the mouthful of coffee he’s just taken, a grimace, almost, as he swallows. ‘You wanna translate that for me?’ he says afterwards, nervous humour in his voice. ‘The fuck does that mean?’

He expects her to laugh back, probably, to tell him to engage his brain for once, but the words are already fighting through the lump in her throat. Now’s not the time to waste them with jokes, or bickering. Whatever the fuck it is they do now.

‘If something happened to you,’ she explains, slowly, ‘like, right now.’ She gulps, and the more she speaks, the more she’s sure she shouldn’t—but there it goes, out of her lips anyway. ‘I don’t know that I wouldn’t spend my whole life regretting how we left things. How we’re leaving things.’

He looks down, away from her, like the woven rug beneath his feet is calling his name. She carries on like she hasn’t noticed. Don’t read into it, Pidge. It’s too late to go back now.

‘I’m not saying we should get together again. Or assuming you’d even…God. I don’t know.’ It’s not making any more sense now she’s putting it out there, a voice to the thoughts that’ve been tormenting her all week. If anything, it’s just tightening their grip on her, stirring the worry into a real threat. ‘It just feels different now, and it scares me.’

She waits for a nod, a reaction. He doesn’t move.

‘I can’t stop thinking about wasted time,’ she admits.

He snorts then, so sudden that it’s a surprise to both. ‘Wasting what? I see you all the time, Tati. We’re, y’know.’ He shrugs. ‘We’re good.’

‘Are we?’

‘Are we not?’

He isn’t getting it. Or maybe she’s the one not getting it. Maybe the only thing stopping her from saying that she would want to fix things, to get back together, is the self-awareness that she shouldn’t. Can’t. Won’t, until he gives any sign that he’s thinking it too.

‘Let’s just leave it,’ she says, falling into the cushion behind. ‘I’m clearly not thinking straight.’

Clearly, the shock of their rescue mission, of EZ half dead and bloodied, has taken a week to hit her, caught up at last and pushed her off the rails—straight into Angel’s easy-lounger. She doesn’t want to be with him—it doesn’t work, didn’t work—she just can’t face losing him, either. That’s all it is. If the worst happens, she doesn’t want to have forfeited her right to mourn.

Angel sighs, leaning back as she had, in his own seat on the couch. His arm goes up behind his head, face pointed to the ceiling. Thinking, hopefully, running desperate through his rationale the way she is. ‘You know, for once, Pidge, I actually think you should keep talking.’

She snorts. ‘Let me guess, so I can bore you to sleep?’

‘Nah.’ He rocks his head—a shake without any of the effort—and ignores her sarcasm completely. ‘So I can understand,’ he says. ‘You know I don’t think about stuff like this. Just block it out and keep shit moving.’

‘Yeah, maybe I should try that.’ Her method hasn’t helped tonight. It’s only made things worse, made her problem, his. ‘I don’t even know what I’m saying,’ she admits. ‘I’m just so fucking scared of regretting things. I don’t want to regret this,’ she points between him and herself, though he isn’t watching, ‘but I know that we don’t work.’

There’s a mark still, invisible but printed around them both. They had gotten worse and worse; bickering, arguing, fighting until they hated each other. It’s been six months now, and it only just starting to fade. Only loosening enough for moments like these.

‘Well, you must know something I don’t,’ he jokes, ‘cause I’m really not seeing the problem.’

‘Yuma,’ she stresses. ‘That shit isn’t just gonna go away, Angel.’

‘Not that part. The you fucking regretting this, part.’ He looks up at last, head lifting from the back of the couch to catch her gaze. ‘Does it look like I’m going anywhere? Shit, does it look like I want you to either? Whatever we got going on, it’s as much as a relationship as it was before.’

‘Angel.’

‘I’m serious.’ A smile creeps onto his features, eyes alight with the joke before he’s even said it. ‘You think I have time to get another girl while you’re still all up in my shit?’

Tati laughs, against her will, but it helps. ‘Asshole.’

‘Like, you really are cramping my style, Pidge.’

‘Okay, stop it. I’m fragile.’ But smiling, somehow, and then the laugh drops into a sigh, and the point of it—the actual point of what he said—comes back like a freight train. He’s not going anywhere. He doesn’t want her to either, regardless of where things stand.

‘Fuck,’ she breathes. He’s made her cry, somehow, but she can lie to herself and say that it’s not him, it’s the night she’s had. It’s the Jeep at the gas station, it’s the blanket round her shoulders and the almost-dead, almost-brother, and not Angel, that’s brought the wet to her eyes. ‘God, I hate this. ’

There’s a gap beside him on the couch, under his bent elbow, and he invites her to it, flicking his chin. ‘Come here,’ he says, soft, familiar. Too late into the night to care about their boundaries. ‘Gonna make me fucking depressed, watching you cry and shit.’

She snorts, standing and bringing her bundle of comforts with her. ‘That was my plan all along,’ she replies, barely managing the sarcasm. ‘Gotta drag you down with me.’

‘Yeah, real sweet.’

His arm drops as she does, settling around her shoulders, as she settles around him. Cheek to his chest, arm threaded between his waist and the cushions. As normal as it used to be. One thing less to regret.

‘You wanna crash here?’ he asks, thumb smoothing over her arm. ‘I’ll take the couch. Drop you back at your car in the morning.’

She should say no, but there are worse things she could do. And he’s warm, warmer than she has been all night, hot beneath her like he’s running a fever.

‘Are you sure?’

He tuts. ‘Man, if you make me beg, I’m taking it back. You can walk your ass right back to where you came from, Tatiana.’

‘Alright,’ she laughs, ‘fine. Thank-you. I’ll take it.’

There are worse things she can do, there are worse things that could happen.

>>> bonus scene

#angel reyes fanfic #angel reyes x oc #angel reyes #mayans mc fanfic #whumpril2023 #tati pidge #the way im gonna have to go rename the last one and my links KjSHFKGJH #theyre living in my brain #a land grab

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foefire-flame · 4 months ago

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Nightly lore thought is thinking about the ways Rytlock and Leo both approached falling in love. These experiences differ greatly as Rytlock isn't necessarily a stranger to it but is always still haunted by the memory of what he had with Crecia, vs Leo who is so aversed to approaching any kind of romantic relationship bc of not eanting to get hurt bc he would want somwthing long term but it isnt necessarily common on top of already existing as a black sheep by legion charr standards.

For Rytlock although he fell for Leo first it was still something he had to kinda both shove himself through and also. Bury. When he first starts feeling the prickle of love, the feeling where you start catching yourself craving the specific attention or time, or the allure of wanting to know more, he kinda dismissed it as something that was probably physical and remnants of missing any kind of relationship where he can both rely on someone else and confide in them. At the time Leo meets him again theyre both respectively in a pretty lonely place. This is the excuse he uses until after Leo (having caught on to Rytlock's subconscious lingering gaze) propositions something casual and they sleep together for the first time. Well maybe not directly after, I think it takes this going on for a bit until he realizes that no this isn't something that can be satisfied by a casual situationship, its deeper. One night as Leo is getting ready to leave and return back to his warband's barracks Rytlock kinda blurts out for him to stay, and Thats when he has to come to the realization that just as their friendship was growing, his feelings for Leo as something beyond what they had did have real substance. Leo doesn't stay, of course, and Rytlock kinda has a round or two with his own psyche of how this is all kind of stupid, theres no time for it, he always fucks up these things somehow, ect ect. But the very funny thing about love is that wants that train starts there Aint No Stopping It.

I mean like he's a grown ass man with a 9-5 officd job, so this isn't like love-sick puppy behavior, its something more refined and subtle, even if more subconsciously. He's more gentle with Leo, more patient. He prods him just to listen to see him get passionate about something because he likes seeing Leo get worked up about things he believes in. He starts inviting him out with him to get drinks which becomes routine. The more he can let his own mask slip the deeper his affection for Leo grows. The most embarassing thing is that he starts making jokes he would otherwise consider dumb because he learns that despite Leo's seemingly stoic, cool exterior he has a soft spot for puns that causes him to laugh and Rytlock likes to hear him laugh. He knows how leo likes his alcohol, he learns his tells, Leo chuckles when he's nervous, his left ears pin when he's about to sneeze. Then he wonders when the last time he knew someone this closely was, then he remembers the scar on his leg, the inticing warmth of Sohothin, he remembers Leo always refuses to stay. It's not that his feeling for Leo ever goes away but he has to bury them when the years go by and Leo still leaves every night. It becomes white noise, always there and easy to ignore or even forget. But then Leo does something and it resurfaces as a pointed reminder that they exist before it has to be shoved back down again...

Oh its 2am Ill have to do the leo half of this later but MAN

#javi talks

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onetomb-art · 2 years ago

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Step, Drag

A Doll finds something unusual, voting ensues! (tw for mild slur use, about 1300 words long)

Step. Draaaaag. Step. Draaaaag. Step. Draaaaaaaag.

<Z-Cptn> You know, this is just like that one campfire story. With the escaped inmate?

<DosEquis> not helping

<Hi5> Campfire story? Do tell, you’ve piqued my interest!

<DosEquis> guys can this wait

<Z-Cptn> Oh i can’t remember all the details, but it was something about an escaped serial killer on the loose in a summer camp, but he was still handcuffed to a cop, so he had to drag the body, and it was all like. Step. Draaaaag. Step, Draaaaag.

<Hi5> Fascinating!

<DosEquis> guys i think hes really hurt

<777> Zee you dumbass thats not how it goes!

<777> Its supposed to be a prisoner with one of those old-timey ball and chains on his leg

<Z-Cptn> What? Since when?

<777> Since fuckin always, who drags around a dead cop? You can break handcuffs like, so fuckin easily.

<Sixaphone> you can?

<Hi5> I don’t believe that’s correct, dear Sev. Handcuffs are made of quality materials, or else suspects would always be getting out of them, don’t you think?

<777> BULLSHIT

<777> Cuffs are fuckin weaksauce its just a chain link, plus you see people break them in movies all the time

<Z-Cptn> Movies are different from real life.

<777> Movies are basically real life!!! Movies are more real than real life, fuckin fight me

<Z-Cptn> [Called a vote: “Are movies the same as real life?”]

<Z-Cptn> [voted]

<777> [voted]

<Sixaphone> [voted]

<Hi5> [voted]

<777> …

<777> well?!?

<Z-Cptn> Hang on, it's tied.

<Z-Cptn> @<DosEquis> We need you to vote.

<DosEquis> are you fucking kidding me

<777> Dont be such a fuckin killjoy babe! It takes like, two seconds

<DosEquis> hes hurt bad i dont have time for this

<777> Dude hes like. Wayyyyyyy dead. Just leave him there and vote so i can show everyone what a fuckin idiot Zee is

<DosEquis> hes not dead

<DosEquis> i saw him move

<DosEquis> [voted]

[Vote concluded. Vote results: 40% “Obviously Not”, 60% “Yes(???)”. “Yes(???)” is the victor with five votes counted.]

<777> YES

<777> FUCK YES

<Z-Cptn> What???

<Hi5> Who would possibly vote “Yes”?

<777> SMART PEOPLE!!

<777> THATS FUCKIN WHO!!!1!

<DosEquis> i just clicked to get rid of the popup

<777> STILL COUNTS!!!!

<Z-Cptn> Wait, then that means that @<Sixaphone> voted for you too.

<Z-Cptn> @<Sixaphone>, you don’t actually think movies are real life, do you?

<Sixaphone> um

<Sixaphone> no

<Sixaphone> i just

<777> JEEZ Zee lay off her thats like, voter intimidation its hella illegal you could go to jail

<Sixaphone> wait what

<Z-Cptn> Its not “voter intimidation”, i just wanted to make sure she knows the difference between *fiction* and *reality*.

<Sixaphone> please dont send Miss Zero to jail

<Sixaphone> im sorry

<777> Youre fine Six, its an expression

<Z-Cptn> I’m not going to jail, don’t worry. Seven was just attempting to make a crude joke.

<Sixaphone> oh, ok

<Sixaphone> sorry

<TriAsIMight> Good morning everyooone!!!

<TriAsIMight> What’d I miss???

<Hi5> Oh, Salutations! We were having a discussion about movies and campfire stories! Would you like a recap?

<Sixaphone> good morning!

<TriAsIMight> WAIT

<TriAsIMight> IS THAT A DEAD BODY???

<777> yes!

<DosEquis> no.

<Z-Cptn> We’re not quite sure, actually.

<TriAsIMight> WHAT

<TriAsIMight> EXPLAIN?!?

<777> Twos been on a murder spree, its been like fuckin rambo first blood over here

<TriAsIMight> ???

<Z-Cptn> That is blatantly incorrect.

<Hi5> I thought that the entire point of the “Rambo: First Blood” film was that the titular character did *not* go on a murder spree.

<777> Never seen it tbh

<Z-Cptn> There’s not really that much to explain, really. Two was piloting, in salvage mode, digging through some of the old office blocks, when she found this guy collapsed in a pile of blood. Recovery protocol kicked in, and now she’s attempting to drag the guy to safety. Does that seem about right, @<DosEquis>?

<DosEquis> left out the part where hes heavy as fuck

<DosEquis> but yeah

<DosEquis> basically

<TriAsIMight> JEEEZ

<TriAsIMight> That is effed up!!!

<DosEquis> thank you holy shit finally

<TriAsIMight> That sounds so stressful like what the F!!!

<DosEquis> THANK you

<DosEquis> im over here trying to save this guys life while yall are calling votes over dumb shit

<TriAsIMight> I can’t believe you all!!! Discussing movies and even calling a vote while Two is out there risking her life to save a person she doesn’t even know!!! Shame on you all!!!

<777> Ugh, youre not our fuckin mom, fuck OFF with all that shit

<Hi5> I agree with Seven, the lecture is hardly necessary.

<Z-Cptn> Come on now.

<TriAsIMight> We have to do something!!!

<Z-Cptn> Why don’t we ask her if she needs help with anything first. @<DosEquis>?

<DosEquis> i dont know what yall could do right now im

<DosEquis> hang on

<DosEquis> uh oh

<TriAsIMight> uh oh???

<DosEquis> theres a ladder

<Hi5> Ah, so there is. That could prove troublesome with your heavy new friend, I’m afraid.

<DosEquis> yeah i just

<DosEquis> im not sure how to get him down safely

<777> Drop the fucker, i wanna see if he bounces

<DosEquis> what no

<DosEquis> maybe if i just

<DosEquis> no

<Z-Cptn> It doesn’t seem like that far of a drop, you could lower him down feet first and then drop him? You might break his ankles, but that seems like the least of his worries.

<DosEquis> guys

<Z-Cptn> [Called a vote: “Should she drop him?”]

<777> [voted]

<DosEquis> seriously

<Z-Cptn> [voted]

<TriAsIMight> [voted]

<Hi5> [voted]

<Sixaphone> [voted]

<Z-Cptn> @<DosEquis> Are you going to vote?

<DosEquis> yall are assholes

<DosEquis> [voted]

[Vote concluded. Vote results: 50% “Drop him”, 50% “Try another way”. The vote is a tie with six votes counted.]

<777> Well that was fuckin pointless

<DosEquis> can we stop with all the votes this is really annoying when im trying to work

<DosEquis> im gonna tie a rope to his waist i just gotta find a rope

<Z-Cptn> Voting is a useful tool for quick decision making!

<Hi5> Well said, hear hear!

<TriAsIMight> Don’t you all think the voting is distracting for her???

<777> lol yeah

<Z-Cptn> Distracting? It's one button push.

<DosEquis> ok i found some rope and ive got him tied

<DosEquis> gonna lower him down now

<Hi5> Ah, the moment of truth! Drumroll, everyone…

<TriAsIMight> Shut up, let her concentrate!!!

<777> Fuck off youre not the boss of me you dumb bimbo

<TriAsIMight> HEY???

<Z-Cptn> Play nice you two.

<777> Yeah, play nice you fucking piece o

<777> HOLY SHIT

<TriAsIMight> OH MY GOSH NO!!!

<Hi5> Oh dear.

<DosEquis> fuck

<DosEquis> the rope snapped

<Sixaphone> is he okay?

<777> HES TOTALLY FUCKIN DEAD BITCH

<Sixaphone> oh no

<Z-Cptn> We don’t know that, Two can you peek over the edge so we can see how hes doing?

<DosEquis> i dont want to

<777> Congrats on your first successful snuff film babe, this ones going on liveleak!

<Z-Cptn> Seven cut it out. Two, i need you to peek over the edge for me.

<DosEquis> no

<777> DO IT DO IT DO IT

<DosEquis> no i really dont want to

<TriAsIMight> We can’t help him if we can’t see him, you have to be brave!!!

<DosEquis> fucking fine

<777> YES YES YES YES

<Hi5> At least try to hide your murderboner, Seven.

<777> BITE ME

<777> Aw

<TriAsIMight> He looks like he might be okay!!! That bush looks like it cushioned his fall…

<DosEquis> thank fuck

<Sixaphone> he moved

<DosEquis> wait holy shit youre right

<DosEquis> hes moving

<TriAsIMight> Hes alive!!!

<DosEquis> i think he sees me

<Z-Cptn> Is he saying something? He’s moving his mouth.

<DosEquis> yeah hang on let me give yall audio

<DosEquis> [Input audio source “not dead guy”]

[‘not dead guy’] -OU FUCKING RETARDED MACHINE WHAT THE FUCK YOU BROKE MY FUCKING RIBS YOU [Incomprehensible] ILL FUCKING HAVE YOU SCRAPPED WHO THE [Incomprehensible] [Incomprehensible] ILL

<DosEquis> [Removed audio source “not dead guy”]

<DosEquis>...

<DosEquis> [Called a vote: “Hey can i kill him?”]

#short story #my art #empty spaces #tw slur #yeah i read homestuck why do you ask

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icarusredwings · 2 months ago

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Prolouge to "Dog Tags" :)

I like to think- At least in my Finding home au- That Worst wolverine IS orgins Logan minus a few changes so he literally had to fight his Wade, which he feels really bad about but man they made him do all sorts of stuff that Wade would never do. Wtf you mean his Wade has kids in cages? This Wade would never. And it only hurts him the MORE he learns about wade, that he was under someone elses control to kill his parents and how Francis threatened to sew his mouth shut.

Theres so many similarities yet.. he's different. But at the same time he's not? And hes so greatful. He's still got the quips and the skills, sure his face is a little different but yeah thats definitely Wade.

So he's really not shocked to know he was a soldier, but when Wade first brings it up, Logan frowns, his eyes get a little wide as if they just entered a touchy subject.

"And.. you left?" You can actively see him internally begging."Please say you left. Please say you left. Please say you left" so when Wade, whos doing something simple like making mac and cheese turns with a smirk like "Sure- if you think getting handed the pink slip and being told you're never allowed to work for the canadian government ever again because I couldn't follow orders is 'leaving' then yeah. I left."

And a large relief falls over him because one of the main reasons stryker liked wade was because he was "the perfect soilder except for his mouth" "does what he's told" etc. So to hear that this wade didn't get picked up because he didnt do what he was told is a massive relief.

".. you got your tags?"

"Well.. yeah. Somewhere around here. Ness might have'm still.... why do you ask?" And it makes wade really nervous because no duh - hundreds of people have betrayed him. He wouldn't honestly be too shocked if Logan suddenly decided he wanted him dead for whatever reason.

Logan just smiles and tries to make a joke "Ill show you mine if you show me yours"

This eases Wade a bit so he laughs and is like yeah sure. Goes in there, digs around for a bit, brings back out the tags, his patch nametag, and a picture of his platoon but most of them are either scribbled out or ripped off.

"Turns out- when you leave special ops- You become a person of intrest to your ex friends" though the way he says this makes Logan want to hug him because OUCH- Yeaahh he felt that way too much.

So, he assumes that wades killed them for trying to kill him instead, runs his thumb over the emboardered lettering of the name tag and of the imprinted metal with a soft smile.

Now wades not dumb. This was rememberance.

"...Didn't you mention you had a wade in your universe? Crazy fucker? No cancer? Lucky bastard-" he grumbles, a little jealous, assuming that Logan had something with that wade too. Part of him is estatic because of the thought. Like yay! But the other part is "I would so ☠️ myself if another me flirted with my man"

"Yeah.. poor guy had his mouth completely removed."

"Well shit. Merc WITHOUT a mouth isnt a very good name now is it- Wait second. Lines all over him? Look like a weird egg? Warehouse fight?"

Logan looks at him like 'how the fuck did you know that?'

"Yeah! Ugh poor guy. Put him out of his misery like old yeller. Put a whole load into his head. Was that you- or? A different wolvie?"

Logan blinks, trying to process the fact that Wade just cassually admits to ☠️ing himself in another timeline, but also He didn't remember that which implies that this happened not only in his old universe but other universes too.

"No.. that wasnt me."

It makes him upset to think about anyone wanting to take away Wades right to speak. He understood that being yapped at, at 6 am wasn't the funnest thing in the world but he would never in a million years want to take away his ability to say such beautiful things. The way he spoke so passionatly about things, how smart and caring he was. Even when he said stupid shit like "Thats what she said" after the most random sentence.

"Hey wade? Were out of milk"

"Thats what she said."

"Huh??"

His grip tightens on the tags as he sighs heavily, digging out how own and hands them to wade, who by now has finished cooking the mac and cheese, successfully not burning down the apartment.

Wade, of course, becomes excited giggling and going "Oooooh! Special! Old as hell too- damn wolvie whens the last time you washed these? All scratched up and- they stink!"

Logan smiles. "You're more then welcome to clean'em."

But this is said to be bad luck. To clean someone elses tags implies that theyre dead because they cant do it themsleves. Wade immediately shakes his head, trying to hand them back.

"No! I-.. you clean them."

Logan dosn't even look up, still fiddling with wades, looking at the numbers and such. "Eh. Keep'em."

"You.. why do you want me to keep your tags? Theyre yours. You can't just give me your tags thats-"

"Wade... Keep'em. Im not that man anymore. And I never want to be."

This seems like a new light for wade as he realizes that he too isn't the same man who wore the ones in those rough hands. He looks at Logans tags again, the cogs in his mind turning only to be interrupted by a small..

"..Can I keep these?"

"What?"

"Your tags... can.. I keep them?"

Immediately, a lightbulb flashes in wades head.

"You wanna swap tags with me!? Oh my god really!?"

Logan shrugs, oblivious to what this means. "I mean.. I dont want mine. And if you dont want yours.."

"Yes!! I'll keep them safe I swear!"

He then runs off, leaving the stove on to go tell Al, giggling as he puts them on.

Blinking, Logan sighs heavily, shaking his head with a smile as he turns off the oven, having a bad feeling that he just did something far different from what he was trying too.

Turns out... that's how they got engaged..

Everyone forgets that Wade was a soldier. A fucking good one. The reason he is so good at being Deadpool is because of that. Yes, he doesn't have to worry about dying, but he strategically takes hits to stun the enemies.

I think Logan would love to see Wade planning out a mission for the first time.

He expects Wade to just go in guns blazing, but he doesn't. Wade pulls out a blueprint of the building, marks areas he knows have security, shows Logan exactly where the target is and how to shut down the villains evil machine of the week. He tells him exactly where he needs to go to pull it off and doesn't make any jokes the entire time.

Logan is alittle surprised, but he can deal with that after the mission.

And after the mission- that goes smoother than any X-Men mission he'd ever done- he can't help but ask Wade why he did all of the prep and how he knew so much about where they were going.

And Wade just shrugs and says "that's how we did it in the military, why? Not how fancy Cyclops did it?" and now he's even more confused because- huh? Wade was in the military??

And so that night Logan just asks him loads of questions, they share a few war stories, and Wade tells him all about how he scouted the warehouse out for a few days and planned the mission.

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0thsense · 1 year ago

Text

11/29/2023

It's been a while since nippon and nothing good has happened. That's not really true but it is true I haven't made progress on my goals. I've even made negative progress on lifting and running. Or maybe sideways who cares im just not dedicated enough. why do i bother with good grammar on these posts just let it go bro.

I did well on the osu tournament at least, but ive gotta give up on that shit. just play for fun and casual improvement. I fucked up my wrist the other day too and it still hurts. It kinda hurts to type to be honest. tumblr can fuck off with the spellcheck btw. i talked to Peter about his journaling and im starting to think that my thoughts are just way more cringe than average. ur telling me everyone else doesnt have to hold back cringe all the time? i love being cringe is the problem

one thing I remember feeling on the way to see my pt is that i think i like feeling sad. the type of sad where id like to say its something other than self pity but its probably just self pity. god im so reluctant to say im falling into a common trap that is wallowing in self pity.

oh yea I started taking caffeine pills and not taking medication. I don't think its helping so far but I feel less shit all the time. is it time to truly give up? im scared that im losing my mental faculties. I remember I used to try to optimize everything i did. which i thought was dumb at the time because I would proceed to waste all the extra time I had. but now I dont have that drive to optimize anymore. i dont believe in myself to be different anymore. in fact its a struggle to even be normal.

i dont know if ive talked about this before but I tried to go for a route in my life where I wouldnt have to learn to be normal. if I got far enough doing special weird things then people would accept that I didnt have to be normal, and theyd even praise me for it. but now that ive fallen off the wagon I have to just be behind on being normal instead. I hate the feeling that other people will look at me and think I was wrong all along.

Im so doomer in these posts. I guess getting off the medication wasnt enough to stave away the depression. I didnt even do anything today either programming wise. Theres a month left, and its december. maybe i should just start leetcoding now. I say that cuz its the normal thing to say but there is no way I start before the new year. time to pretend to be happy for the holidays.

im worried that it will be difficult to find a job. i want to find a job in new york but i need to find a position that lets me afford rent. i have a limited number of people i can reach out to for referrals and if those dont pan out im probably in deep trouble and will need to take whatever i can get.

there's a channel called hoe_math on yt that has blackpilled views but surprisingly its really popular. the couple vids i watched were entertaining and agreeable and im scared of watching more and becoming a misogynist. the old me would not have been scared. watch and sift the new information and try to remain as objective as possible keeping in mind all of your own biases. now im a thinking plebian. what happened to me? i ask as i know the answer perfectly well.

also i think im bad at diagnosing my own mental state. after taking molly for the first time i could barely tell i felt anything. that probably has an effect on my diet for example, where my instinct on what i need to eat is dull. is this linked to not being in touch with my emotions? ur feelings are partly a reflection of your body's state after all.

i cant even finish this stupid pong game. any mental obstacle that i think will take like an hour is just too much. the true test of will is the will that can give consistent effort day after day. i wonder how neurotypicals feel. does it also feel literally impossible for them to do certain things? what does it mean to just not want to do something? determinism wise everything either happens or is impossible. i have a hard time relating that to the things adhd stops me from doing. maybe the reason im more inclined to believe determinism is that adhd makes the illusion of choice much weaker.

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falcqns · 4 years ago

Note

Hiiii! Long rant ahead 😅-

Can I please request a Bucky x civilian!fem!reader (Avengers au! Endgame never happened au! Bucky joined the Avengers au!) where Sam & Steve are friends with a civilian girl who Bucky starts to really like (but Bucky being Bucky, he’d be worried she would be scared of him, & he thinks he’s a monster 🥺 so he wouldn’t admit he likes her), she really likes him too, & one day when she’s spending the night at the Avengers HQ, he has another nightmare & she calms him down & goes to sleep on the floor with him & they cuddle & he kisses her 🥺 The next morning, Sam & Steve would go up to Bucky’s floor & see them cuddling on the floor of Bucky’s living room🥺 The rest of the Avengers would come up there out of curiosity & Tony would tease them so much & try to take pictures lol. Steve & Sam would be smug but also really happy for Bucky because she’d be good for him 🥺🥺🥺 Sam would annoy Bucky so much about it 😂😂💜🥰

you could never hurt me

pairing: Bucky Barnes x civilian!fem!reader

warnings: angst, fluff, soft!Bucky, almost sub!Bucky which I love and wanna write more of but im scared too bc idk if people want that, Tony being a dumb ass as usual, Sam and Steve are good friends

a/n: this got wayyy more fluffier than I planned on bc I've been diving into the little!Bucky tag on AO3 too much and he’s always such a sweetheart and I wanna write some but im too scared I’ll get hated on eep. Hope you enjoy and thank you for the request!

God, you adored Bucky.

Despite everything he had been through, he was such a sweetheart. He had a softness to him, a softness he didn’t show most people.

You really didn’t expect to fall for him when you started running with Sam and Steve a few months prior, but you definitely weren’t complaining. However, despite the softness you saw, he seemed to hate you.

You didn’t know why. He was never verbally rude, he’d often leave a room as soon as you’d enter it, and avoid you as much as possible.

You’d been over to the compound plenty of times, but you had never spent the night. Tonight was Tony’s birthday party, and you wanted to talk to Bucky about why he hated you so much, but you didn’t see him at the party, or after. According to Steve, he hated parties, and tended to lock himself in his bedroom until the party was over, when he would venture out and eat some of the left over food.

Once the party was over, you and the rest of the avengers, except Bucky, were sat in one of the many common areas drinking a few more beers before everyone retired for the night.

You heard Bucky’s door shut behind him, and watched as he walked into the kitchen. The team seemed to completely ignore his presence, and that stung a little bit. Did they not see the sweet and innocent Bucky that you, Sam and Steve saw? You shook the thought out of your head as Bucky trudged back to his room with some food and a drink in his hand, completely ignoring his teammates.

You sighed internally, and decided to bring it up another time.

You had just settled into your bed for the night, when you heard noises from Bucky’s room, which was right beside yours. You ignored them at first, thinking they were just him moving around and getting ready for bed, just like you had moments before. But, soon you started to hear different noises.

You stood up from the bed, and pressed your ear against the wall that separated the two rooms. It sounded like he was trying to call out for someone, and couldn't. Like he wanted to talk so badly, but his words were catching in his throat. You feared that he could be severely hurt, so you ran out of your room and knocked on his door.

“Bucky, you okay?” You said, and the sounds only continued. As they got louder, you knocked again, but there was still no answer. You tried the door knob, but it was locked. You looked down the hallways and was tempted to knock on Steve’s door. You wanted to make sure he was okay and you were definitely not strong enough to kick the door in.

Just as you were reaching Steve’s door, you heard a low shout, and sobs rip through the air. You ran back to the room and tried the door handle, which was still locked. You breathed deeply, as you tried to figure out what to do. Suddenly, an idea popped into his head.

“F.R.I.D.A.Y.?” You asked hesitantly, and she answered right away.

“What can I assist you with Ms Y/L/N?”

You breathed in relief. “Can you unlock Bucky’s door for me?”

“Sergeant Barnes has restricted access to his room. The only one who was access is Captain Rogers.” You groaned.

“I just want to make sure he’s okay. He can get mad at me all he wants for breaking into the room but he doesn't sound okay,” You reasoned.

F.R.I.D.A.Y. responded instantly. “I agree. His heart rate and blood pressure are rising. I will unlock the door.” A second later, a low click was heard, and this time when you tried the door, it unlocked and you stepped into Bucky’s room.

The sight of him broke your heart.

He had abandoned his blankets on the floor and crawled into one of the corners. His knees were pulled up to his chest, and his forehead was resting on his knees as he cried his poor heart out. You rushed over, and crouched in front of him.

“Bucky? Are you okay?” You asked, and he shook his head, trembling slightly. You heard his teeth chattering, so you grabbed the comforter from behind you, and wrapped it around his shoulders. His cries slowed slightly, and he looked up at you.

“W-why are you helping me?” He asked, stuttering slightly.

You furrowed your brows. “You’re obviously not doing well, and I want to help you. Why wouldn't I help you?”

Bucky choked out a laugh. “I thought you'd be scared of me. Of what I can do. Of what I've done.”

You sat criss cross apple sauce in front of him, and took his metal hand into your flesh one. You held it up, and intertwined your fingers with his. “I’m not scared of you.” You said simply, and Bucky nodded, a faint blush appearing on his cheeks.

He looked down at his lap. “I could hurt you.”

You scoffed and moved closer. Without letting go of his hand, you manoeuvred to your knees, and pushed his legs down flat. You straddled his lap, you free hand rising and tangling in his locks that were wet from both his shower and sweat. “You could never hurt me.” You stated, your hand in his hair sliding down to cup his jaw, your thumb rubbing against his soft and kissable cheek.

You watched as a tear slipped from his eye, and danced like a rain drop in a carwash down his soft but still stubbly cheek and jaw.

“Why are you so nice to me? I don’t deserve it.” He whispered, his chin trembling. You smiled sadly and wiped the tear away.

“You are is deserving of everything sweetheart. You’re such a sweetie pie and it sucks that the rest of your team doesn't see it, because you deserve all the loves and cuddles you could get. What you did, that wasn’t you. It may have been your body, but it wasn't you. You have been treated so harshly by so many people, including those who were supposed to protect you from those who did hurt you, when all you deserve is such kindness.” You said, and smiled when Bucky practically melted into your embrace, his head burying itself in your neck. He unraveled your fingers, and wrapped his arms around your waist, his face nuzzling in your neck.

“Thank you. No ones ever said something that nice to me,” He said, and you felt his eyes flutter closed against the skin of your neck, finally at peace.

“You deserve it.” You said, and you pulled away slightly. He let out a whine, but then his eyes widened, almost expecting you to hurt him. Your heart melted and you pressed a kiss to his forehead.

“It’s okay if you’re feeling vulnerable, baby. I’m right here. I won't leave, and I won't hurt you. Let’s lay down okay?” You said, and he sniffled as he nodded and followed you groggily over to where his blankets were on the floor. You laid down, and opened your arms, inviting him in.

He laid down in your arms, and his face found your neck again. He breathed in slightly, and sat up on his elbow suddenly. You furrowed your brow, but all the questions that were swirling in your head were answered when he pressed his lips against yours. You smiled into the kiss, and cupped his jaw again as your lips moved together slowly and sensually.

The kiss broke a few moments later, and you ran a hand through Bucky’s hair, a dopy smile spreading on his face.

You opened your arms again. “Come lay down, love.” You said, and he instantly complied, his body finding its previous position. You heard his breathing even out seconds later, and knew he was finally getting the sleep he deserved.

The next morning, Steve and Sam went looking all over the compound for you, and couldn’t find you anywhere. They walked past Bucky’s room once more, and made eye contact.

“You don’t think-”

“Theres no way-” They said at the same time, and decided to look.

A smile cracked on both their faces when they saw you and Bucky, still curled up on the floor.

A flash went off, and they turned to face Tony. “Fuckin’ finally. Been waiting for Tin Man to make a move for months.” He said, and Steve smacked him upside the head.

Taglist:

All:

@kpopgirlbtssvt @@nerdypinupcrystal @@sohoseb @@bieberhoodforever @crazy-avengers-gal @colicovision @est19xxshit

#sebastian stan x reader #sebastian stan x ofc #sebastian stan x you #bucky fluff #bucky barnes x reader #bucky barnes x y/n #bucky barnes one shot #bucky barnes au #bucky barnes x female oc #bucky barnes fic #bucky barnes angst #fluff #angst #avengers #mcu

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frogsthoughtss · 4 years ago

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The new spirit movie being made, simply put, isnt all that great (originally, I’d put trash, but I thought that was too strong a word to use on the internet.) Heres why: To start off, I’d like to give synopsis (summary??) of the first movie.

In the original, Spirit, the horse, is captured by the colonizers and separated from his herd. These colonizers attempt to “tame” him. Claiming all horses can be tamed, including stallions with enough power and control. The colonizers breach onto the horses land and are expanding westward, which is how they even get near the herd in which spirit is in. The only reason he even nears them is because he doesnt know who the colonizers are and is basically confused as to what they were. So now because theyve captured Spirit, they think that ‘oh he’s just a wild horse, we can tame him by showing him whos boss” they dont. Spirit is, as its said, an untamed soul. He CANT BE TAMED, or as Little Creek put it, shouldnt be tamed. Because his place is with his herd, running free. The eagle in spirit is a symbolism of the freedom. Whenever the eagle is there, it serves as a reminder not only to the audience, but to Spirit himself that he is a wild horse, a Free horse.

Now, Little Creek, the Lakota native american, shares ALOT of similarities to Spirit(which is where Im getting at). Natives as we know, have been treated terribly, in the most inhumane ways. Theres alot said about helping out poc, but ppl always seem to forget that Natives count as Poc and are barely, if ever, helped out. The fact that theyve been continuously pushed out of their areas and contained in small groups with others of their tribes, after having had their land stolen from them, is disgusting. Back to the point tho, Spirit. Little Creek and spirit share that, in the time which this movie took place. Theyre being pushed from their areas and ppl are trying to “tame them”.

Now, again with the history. This wasnt included in the movie but Natives back in the day, when they were younger, would be taken from their tribes and colonized. Theyd rid them of the rich culture and try to perpetuate the white, colonized ways. Colonizers would change their names to the basic boring meaningless names, forbid them from speaking their native tongue, and have them grow up as a white, eurocentric person would. In other words, colonizers take away what made them different and attempt to get them to become like them. Which, while not included in the movie, is important to know! Bc it shows the parallels between a wild stallion, and a native american: 1- taking their land until barely any is left for them. 2- ridding them of their ways of being, until yheyre the way that is seen as presentable to the majority (whites)3- attempting to tame them.

Natives were seen as animals. As feral creatures less then human and less than the dirt being walked on (WHICH IS NOT TRUE). The fact was, euros saw them as ppl that needed to be ‘educated’ on the ways of man, which they saw as the was of WHITE man. In trying to educate them, it can almost easily be seen as them trying to ‘tame’ them, as they would a horse. With strength, power, and Force.

So going on ahead, when spirit meets little creek, theyre two sides of the same coin, going through the same thing, but its seen differently primarily because one is human and yhe other, well, a horse. And its troubling. Because even tho Little creek escapes the center where they were both held at, it was an interest type situation. Spirit let himself be handled and captured afterwards by the Lakota, only because they held the same view that horses could be tamed. However, despite the attempts to tame Spirit, Little Creek realizes soon that even tho their methods of taming a horse are to show that they are equal to to the human and not below (such as the whites were trying to impose) he knows that spirit, a free stallion, isnt going to be tamed. He sets him free. Spirit is somewhat hurt, bc these humans, treated him kindly. And he saw how kindly they treated other horses. He was reluctant bc of how honest and humane they were, but left anyways bc spirit also knew that he wasnt going to let himself be tied. Even if it was by an honest group.

My point in all of this is that In Spirit:The Stallion of Cimarron, it beautifully captures the similarities of natives, and in this movie horses. Both were struggling to maintain their land and their freedom, and the new movie doesnt. Its no surprise that good representation in movies is little to none for poc, but its even less in native americans. If you can name 5-10 movies with good native rep, I’d like to know but I can assure you that at the top of your head, you probably couldnt come up with more than 2. So when I heard of this movie coming out, I had to know if it kept the relation between the natives and animals in it.

It did not. In fact, from what Ive seen (the trailer) it removed the natives and instead replaced them with hispanics (presumably mexicans as rodeos originate from spanish/mexican influences). Now, mexican/latino and hispanic rep is good! I completely encourage making it bc its good! However this was not the movie for that. They took away the aspect of how freedom isnt something that can just be taken. How, the liberty that comes with your own deeply rooted course, cannot just be changed- how it SHOULDNT be changed. And in this new movie they did. This hispanic girl, for some horse riding event somehow tamed spirit, whose ‘soul could not be tamed’. Like, did we watch the same movie directors???? Producers????Bc the point of spirit the stallion of Cimarron was that freedom should be maintained, not stripped for the wants of others simply because,according to them, its “beneficial” and goes along with what they consider to be the social norm. It was about the connection that humans could make with animals bc they didnt place them below them, but rather treated them as equals. And for that to be taken away??? I feel like having tamed spirit was the wrong call for them to make.

Overall, it appears that Spirit Untamed (its literally in the title cmon) stripped the basis of the original movie to create the basic horse girl ‘saves’ horse and is the only one who can ride him bc she’s the only one who can ‘understand’ his trauma. Like, watch any other horse girl movie and thats what you get. But spirit wasnt supposed to be that. It was sooo much more and the fact that they dumbed it down to that?? Smh

#spirit #spirit the stallion of the cimarron #spirit movie #movie #spirit untamed #movie history #horse #stallions #natives #representation #im open to criticism #if I need correcting on stuff pls say so #theres honestly only so much I know #so if smth is wrong pls correct me!!#I havent watched the series but bc its based off of the original spirit movie #I honestly did expect more #kinda all over the place but hopefully it makes sense

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anonbeadraws · 5 years ago

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So I caved and with @spacespectres help made an avatarsona! With a big chunky statement to go with it! (Trigger warnings for homophobia/transphobia, conversion therapy, death and parental abuse. Everyone gets just desserts though.)

‘I’m, actually not sure why I’m here. You can’t help me, my son is gone and the police arn't saying it but - I’m sorry, my ears are- It’s like- You know those alarms, the ones that are made to disperse kids at shopping centres, keep them from causing trouble- not that i think they work. you see more of them these days, scruffy and dirty, what their parents doing, i don’t- Anyway, it’s like that noise, that high buzz. it’s meant to be that, as you get older, your brain tunes it out, adults aren’t meant to hear it anymore, just keep on shopping without hoodlums hanging about outside smoking and throwing shit at the elderly. I don’t miss that, Ben’s smoking, i’ll say that. That’s awful to say, i bet you’re thinking, god how terrible, her child’s missing and she’s moaning about a few nicotine stains on the ceiling.

I know theres plenty that would call me a terrible mother anyway, i know the neighbours didn’t agree with my decision, the decision of a single mother, who struggled enough just to keep her child fed and watered and out of trouble, to then struggle to keep him from wearing my lipstick when i was out of the house-! I have no problem with the gays. I want to say that, have that clear. I just know, what he was doing, that wasn’t my Ben, that wasn’t my son and, the Helping House was what he needed. I’m his mum, i know what he needed, don’t care what his dad says. he wasn’t here, he wasn’t here to raise Ben, so he doesn’t-

The pamphlet was so nice, so professional and i checked it out online, all 5 stars, apart from the odd protester sticking his oar in, and it was- reassuring to know he’d be looked after, helped! Get what he needed. And he was fine when i left him there, with his old school backpack with all his bits in, the Helping staff there to welcome him. Reminded me a little of when he started primary school, he looked so small, all big eyes… They promised it’d be a couple of weeks, maybe a month, and then he could come home, all better.

I got to visit every weekend, which was nice! Sometimes brought him biscuits, can't beat home made, chatted a little. He still had that, that look from when i left, like he was little again, when i could tell he didn’t really want to leave me at the gates, he didn’t want to go in all alone, couldn’t we just go home instead mum? But i was strong. For him. I resisted.

I think, it was when that look started to go, that little boy look, replaced with something, i don’t really want to think about even now, that i really noticed the other patients. One in particular. He looked different from the others. Props to the Helping House, they keep, kept the kids tidy. it was actually lovely, real treat to see Ben all combed and neat, not smelling like his trash dump of a room. And not a whiff of smoke! i’d honestly not have been surprised if he’d snuck in some ciggies in but if he had, they must have confiscated em quick. No fags in the Helping House! I mean-! oh you know, what i mean!

But this one,.. they all dressed in clothes from home, apparently they worked out its better for the process, this one was a mess. Half shaved hair, no knees in the jeans and honestly, sunglasses indoors? who did He think he was!? Mick Jagger? He just slouched in the corner of the visiting room, looking out into the gardens, like he belonged there in that clean good place. They were nice gardens, well looked after, like the kids. I remember it was coming up summer, lots of lovely flowers. lots of happy bees.

Anyway, i did Not like how Ben looked over at, him, while we had our cups of tea. it was this, gooey soft look i’d never seen on him. later i remembered it. it was how his dad looked when we started courting. That cloying honey sweet love that turned sickly and choking far too quick. God, that look, on my boys face? You bet I had words with the staff before i went. I did not bring my boy here to get help and it be ruined by some hooligan with warped intentions. I made sure they understood. They didn't seem to know what i meant by the Sunglasses kid but it’s a big facility, probably get a lot of patients. Their success rate was incredible really, always seemed to be spaces open. Whatever they did, didn’t do a lot though. Cause i kept seeing him, every time i visited. And he drew a crowd. At first it was the ones who didn’t have family to come, poor dears. They’d be sat, close as they could to him. They had rules about touching in the Helping House, and rightly so, helps with, the temptation, but they’d sit there, close as they could to him, just listening, sun on their faces from the big glass window. Now that i’m thinking about it, I don’t think i remember ‘em blinking? Anyway, Could never hear what was said, what venom that creeper was pouring into their ears, whenever i tried to hear him over the other visitors, it just came over as a low buzz. Well, whatever it was, those kids were hooked. I didn't like it. And the next weekend, there more of ‘em! You’d have kids that’d be crying one week that their family hadn't come, who didn't give two shits the next, pardon my french. They’d be sat in the corner, happy sappy faces, listening to whatever nonsense that kid was murmuring to his little flock. They didn’t touch, not then, but it was a close thing, i remember being so shocked that nothing was being done about it. It was obviously a problem. that weirdo was the problem.

But my boy didn’t stray. He might’ve looked over at that hive of idiots who worked against what these good people were trying to do for them, with that… look. But he stayed and drank his tea with me like he should. He looked tired, but i knew that’s cause he was working hard, getting better. i got the reports.

But the last couple of visits, i come in and it’s just my boy in the visitors room. The rest were outside in the garden, in the flowers. All those kids, twenty or so of em, tangled in each other, touching and so close. I don’t think they were, Doing things but, it was against regulation for sure, and I stood up, to go do something, anything, even just yell at them to stop it, ask what they thought they were doing!? That’s when the Buzzing started. For a second i thought it was just a bee come in from the garden, poor little bumble trapped indoors but it was in my ears, in my head. It was nothing i’d ever felt before and I’ve had Tinitus and that’s a nasty bugger but it was more than that.

Been to the doctors since. Apparently they can’t work it out, whats causing it. All they can say was it wasn’t Tinitus.

I think it was, Sunglasses looking at me. I remember when i got up, to tell ‘em off, i remember light in the corner of my eye, like a reflection off glass. I think he turned, he knew i was going to stop em and he-

Last sunday was the last time, the last visit. Had a big tin of biscuits, gingerbread, Ben’s favourite, had some nice news about his cousin getting into uni, first in the family! Always had hopes Ben would be the second, but- Ben wasn’t waiting for me. He was outside. With Them.

Him.

There he was, holding the hand of that freak and the staff were just stood round like numpty’s doing nothing! Dumb faces and vacant as their patients were outside rolling about in the sun like it was the 60’s! And smoking! I thought, they must’ve found a stash cause i could see the smoke, swirling dark against the sky, dark against their smiling, stupid faces.

I was furious. i was, so angry.

I think thats why i did it. I was so angry that i couldn’t think of anything else to do but grab that sunglasses wearing freak who was corrupting my boy, who was holding his hand and steering him wrong and undoing all my work and love, and shake my anger out of him. I was yelling all that, yelling at him. I remember he was light, not as heavy as he should be, not for a kid his age and that he didn’t flinch. And he spoke to me, in that low drone that I thought had been just distance and space distorting his voice, but was just him, god it was just him.

I cant remember exactly what he said, something about love, real love, some hippy nonsense. No, i remember one thing. The little shit asked if i thought i was ‘my child’s real Family.” ‘Of course, i said, ‘i’m his mother’ Then he smiled, like i was wrong and i hated him. And I could see myself, in that dark reflection, in those stupid shades and i couldn’t stand it. I wish i hadn’t, done what i did. i just didn’t want to see myself in that black mirror anymore, all twisted and hateful. Turns out it was far nicer than what was behind them.

I let go, dropped it, that thing in ripped jeans and stripes and it fell into the flowers. There were so many happy bees. Thats when i heard the other kids. They had it’s voice, shared it’s voice, that drone. That buzz. i didn’t dare look at them. My ears, started up again, like before but, that sound, their sound, it made it louder and i honestly thought my head might explode and I turn to Ben, my boy, who had dropped to his knees in front of that thing, holding it’s hand and for a second, I thought he was smoking again, dark wisps coming from his downturned face and, I just, my fear turned to anger, for just a second, that he would do that here and now.

But I begged him to come away, to leave it alone, to get better, to just be my little boy again, to come home with mummy. Then he looked up, my Ben, and his face- it wasn’t smoke, it had never been smoke. it was the same as whatever had been bumbling around in the creature that still lay in the flowers but Ben smiled all the same. I, feel crazy, crazy saying it but- as the bees poured out of my little boy’s smiling mouth in that choking swarm, their buzzing droning out his words, my boys last-

My name is Sarah

i’d never seen him happier.

Apparently I fainted. Never fainted in my life, i’ll tell you, too tough for that sort of thing, but i must’ve. Police think it’s what saved me. I like to think otherwise. Officially, what happened was that the patients turned on the staff, killed em and left. Simple, explainable. Some sicko’s like to use what happened as an argument against conversion therapy, old hippy dykes that don’t have enough to picket over, idiots. They didn’t see the bodies, they didn’t see what those ‘helpless victims’ did- They dragged them outside after they killed em, into the sun, into the flowers. I remember waking up once, amongst all the dead. Happy bees, dipping their beaks into the blood of the doctors. Plenty of sugar in blood, I read.

Ben was all i had left, my only family. I don’t have no one left. You don’t get many visitor when the papers insist you made your kid a killer. Don’t even get phone calls from Dave anymore, but i call that blessing. He was barely Ben’s dad anyway. I’ve gotten used to the quiet. i go to work, i come home, watch a bit of telly. the buzz from the old tv only scares me a little. I know i did my best for him. i believe that, after everything. I wouldn’t be here though, if, there wasn’t, something else.

I had a visitor the yesterday. Wasn’t expecting it, thought it was a missionary, Jehovah’s or something. Was ready to tell them to piss off, i tell you. It was a girl. Said she was my daughter. she looked like my Ben, same smile, same funny little knees he used to scrape up, ones i used to kiss better. It wasn’t Ben. My Ben had eyes. My daughters words buzzed, like there was something in her throat. Perhaps the same things that crawled where her eyes would be, round and yellow and bumbling, i thought, and my head starting hurting again. She only stayed at the door, didn’t come in. She said she just wanted to say hello.

She said she’ll visit again.

That she’ll bring her family.

i don’t think she means me anymore.’ The magnus archives belongs to Rusty Quill, the above belongs to me!

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lightsaberupmybutt · 4 years ago

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These Violent Delights - Darth Vader x FemReader

Yer idk why I wrote this either. I’m not ashamed though. And if you read this you’re just as bad as I am for writing it. No more said . Enjoy

Word Count: 1377

Warnings : explicit, brief mentions of smut but nothing too heavy, bit angsty, mentions of violence (but if you’re here then I’m sure that doesn’t put you off), kinda out of character (I've tried, but darth isn't a shagger, not canon anyway)

There was not a day that went by when you didn't consider yourself the stupidest bitch on the planet; scratch that the universe

You were aware that what you were doing was so dumb that even you couldn't reason it logically.

Its not like you didn't have options, theres plenty of suitors out there who would be more than happy to take you up on the offer of a night with you.

With this knowledge in mind, you still always fine yourself in the company of possibly the most dangerous man (if you can even call him that) to ever exist.

You wish you'd had the excuse of knowing him before he was vader, wish that you could say your attachment was purely based on your remnant memories from days gone by; but that just wasn't true. You only knew this being, Vader as him dark self - and that was enough for you to always come when he called.

To compare you attachment to a drug addiction felt cliche and incommodious; after all you didn't need his attention to survive, but you still craved it for your own enjoyment

it kept you up at night sometimes - you conscience weary with the fact that the rest of the body it was trapped in responded so positively to the touch of a murderer. These internal battles were common, besides, there wasn't anyone else you could exactly go to to ask advice from. The knowledge of your nightly escapades to Vader quarters was not exactly friendly gossip you could share with your friends, or even your family. It was a clear unspoken rule that secrets of this magnitude that involved the ex jedi were not something he encouraged to be passed around - not that you really wanted your family knowing. They would disown you, you would disown you. You understood just how vile your actions were

so why did they feel so fucking good?

You had been with men before, plenty of men. Maker, some of those men had the bodies of gods, so handsome that anyone would look upon them and believe they were too good for this world. But nothing compared, nothing even came close. It was one thing to enjoy someone, romantically or exclusively sexually , but it was another to be on the same level as someone. And you weren't quite sure why or how, but the only person you had ever felt that for was the destroyer of worlds.

You'd caught his eye while he and a small fleet of his stormtroopers were overseeing the work your village was putting into one of the many imperial excursions.

You'd love to say you hadn't been like everyone else and feared him instantly, that your backbone and feisty nature had meant you had always been able to feel no intimidation by his power - but that would be a big fat lie. The first time you saw him you genuinely thought you might poop your pants right there and then; all black cloak and metal. and then when you notice that he had noticed you too, when he asked your name, you personally accepted that maybe this day would be the day you died.

but it wasn't, and so it began

At first the imbalance of power was obvious, you feared him more than you had ever feared anything before. You'd heard the stories, you knew just how fast he could destroy you and how nobody would intervene even if they could if he decided this way your time to go.

He kept his distance in this time, while somehow also always letting you know he was around. you hear him, his breathing somewhere just beyond your viewpoint. A flash of black out the corner of your eye while you walked through the streets. Just teases of his existence. Just enough to peak your interest.

It worked, he never had to come to you. You came to him.

Because above all else, your curiosity outweighed everything else, even you survival instincts.

It was easy to be drawn in, you found. In everyones brain theres a soft spot for bad people who only act kind to you. That only show vulnerability to just you. You wanted to feel special, and he made you feel like the most protected person in the universe.

It was ironic really, that being that close to death is what made you feel most alive

It wasn't romantic, and you were completely comfortable with that. You had no doubt that you could never bring yourself to love someone who had the capability to do the things this man had done, and Vader, as far as you knew anyway, wasn't programmed with the capacity to love - a relic skill left when Anakin burned into the sand.

Sometimes though, there were flickers of those sorts of affections, like muscle memory. A gloved stroke of your cheek, a sweep across your lips to catch some of himself there, a hand in your hair with more gentle intent than usual. These incidents were at first incredibly fleeting, but the more comfortable you got together, or at least the more time passed since you had first met, he seemed to get more carefree with these displays.

Equally, although you had fully expected to feel the wrath of his power at that very first meeting; Vader had never used the force against you. Well, never without you asking him to anyway - choking with the force may be Vader favourite way to bring his enemies to their demise, but when you asked him to use it on you in the bedroom, he was relatively sure you had completely lost your mind. Be that as it may, it was hot as fuck. However he never took advantage; the power imbalance was certainly there, but Vader never used it against you without you asking him.

And thats how you knew just how comfortable you'd gotten; because you did ask. without even really completely letting yourself realise just what i meant, you asked him to show you just how powerful he was. You fucking liked it, liked that he could remove you from the face of the earth with a flick of his gloved wrist. You liked that he was the strongest being most people could imagine, liked that he was so notoriously bad.

Simply because he didn't; he kept you around. He even liked having you around, not that he would ever admit that to you, himself or anybody.

He never took his mask off, so it was easy for him to hide behind his outfit. He was changing though, maybe not dramatically, but enough for him to notice and be ashamed of.

He hadn't loved since Padme, with her it was obvious. She was beautiful, and smart, and everything Anakin Skywalker could have ever wanted. But he was no longer Anakin. There had never been another love, but you were something different entirely. You made him different . you made him weak. He lusted for you, craved you just as much if not more than you him. Anakin had always had a possessive streak, but Vader had a possessive nature. You were nothing to him, and then you were just fun to him, a body he could use, a rare someone who would let him inside of them with true interest in him, someone who could look past the suit and mask and burns. You belonged to him now, whether either of you wanted it or not, there was no one else for you.

“don't you ever let anyone touch you like this again” - he rarely spoke during sex, but when he did, his moderator was always stating claim to you. There really was no way to convince vader that you wouldn't stray, that you wouldn't suddenly wake up and realise that getting railed once very month on a dark space ship by someone who's face you had never seen wasn't enough for you. That you'd want to be with someone who you could kiss, or someone who didn't have such a dark smear on their title. But it didn't really matter, you knew you wouldn't leave, not when being bad felt so good with him.

#this is so self indulgent #i can only apologise #darth vader #anakin skywalker #darth vader x reader #darth vader x y/n #darth vader imagine #anakin skywalker x you #anakin skywalker x reader #wtf is this #Star Wars

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palettepainter · 3 years ago

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A friend for Shizen

(tried a new drawing style for Ecto and honestly super proud how it came out! I wanna draw this dork as best I can so we really fun to try drawing how he looks in cannon) Shizen doesn’t like socialising. She doesn’t like talking. She doesn’t like people. She prefers the company of animals over most of her coworkers, with the exception of a few UA students who she has become fond of, and so - like a good friend - Ectoplasm drags her to teachers karaoke night against her will. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ “Why am I here again?” Shizen asked aloud, boredly “Because you need to learn how to have some fun” Ectoplasm answered as though it was obvious, Shizen replied with a not so subtle eye role and a groan. “Who knows, you may actually enjoy it” Ectoplasm said hopefully, turning to Shizen with a smile. She met his joyful expression with a flat frown “..With all due respect, you are one of the few people I can tolerate. Secondly, I’m not looking forward to hearing Hizashi sing, he’s already obnoxiously loud enough on the daily. Thirdly, I don’t sing. And finally-“ she pointed a finger towards him, scowling “The only reason I’m here is because you forced me to” Ectoplasm hummed and nodded “True..” he didn’t seem upset, which made Shizen scowl more. For how smart and polite Ectoplasm could be she sometimes wondered if he was deep down just as much as gremlin as her cousin. She let out a long sigh “Why would you lot want to come here of all places anyway?” Shizen regarded the small building with a look It was tucked away in the side of a alley way, hardly noticeable it if wasn’t for the giant karaoke sign hanging above the door. It looked dingy and suspicious with the location it was in, not somewhere you’d expect pro heroes to spend their Friday nights. Certainly not somewhere she would spend a Friday night. She wanted to be at home. “I know some of the workers” Ectoplasm answered “Plus it’s not as crowded as some of the more popular karaoke places, it’s nice to not be interrupted by the public sometimes.” “Hm..Yeah, that makes sense I guess” Shizen answered, the last thing she needed from this evening was the public. It wasn’t that she had any bad experience with the press or some of the occasional fans that would bombarded UA’s gates - but her social battery was already run down from the counselling sessions she had to do that day, especially since the last and longest session had been for Bakugo Katsuki, not popular for the good reasons in her books. “If you really don’t want to stay you can always leave early” Ectoplasm proposed, Shizen peered up to him through the corner of her eye “At leash stay an hour or two? It’d be nice to see you have some fun with everyone - we always have a good laugh!” Ectoplasm suddenly chuckled, remembering something “Last Christmas we came here Aizawa actually got himself drunk! Don’t tell him I told you that” he whispered that last part quickly Admittedly that got a tiny smile to her face, but as the two began to get closer to the door it fell And no sooner then when they opened the door did Shizen feel her hopes for a peaceful evening slip away. “Hey hey hey!!” Mic cheered with his signature grin, throwing two finger guns smoothly in Ecto’s and her’s direction as they stepped inside. “Here’s our main microphone master himself! Bout time you showed you Ecto! Would hate for you to be a no show!” Ectoplasm chuckled in good nature, walking over to the little reception desk where the Friday evening worker he knew well was already preparing keys to their booked booths for the evening. “Would hate to be a killjoy” Ecto joked back as the man behind the counter handed him the keys. The main reception area plus the front desk was barely big enough to hold all of the group inside, the miniature bar towards the left was full to the brim, lest forget the obvious drunks that where lurking in the corners or the ones who where laying face first on the bar in their spilt drinks. The music from the already booked rooms was just barely being muffled by the heavy doors, and of course, her enthusiastic coworker Hizashi who looked far too hyped already and the singing hadn’t even started - she could already sense an on coming headache While Ecto sorted out his share of the payment Shizen stood off to the side, arms crossed, brows slightly furrowed, scuffing her shoe on the floor. This was dumb. Why did Ecto drag her into this?? Shizen didn’t hate her coworkers, but they where just so..different then from what she was used to. She was a private person with little to say unless she felt as though she had something to bring to the table, someone who didn’t like big lengthy conversations or talking about how hot the weather had been. She didn’t like being interrupted from her work with someone reminding her to get lunch on time, or the constant gossiping from Midnight and Mic just next to her at their desks. Shizen’s idea of happy was different from theres In short: Shizen didn’t fit it. She would have at least felt a little better if Higari or Hounddog could have come along. Alas the two where fortunate enough to escape such an evening, though she had a feeling Higari would have jumped at the opportunity of a night out rather then cleaning up the clutter in the lab. Hounddog on the other hand, now that she was thinking of him, she didn’t think she’d be all that pleased if he was here either. After all: instead of defending her like she thought he would, he actually encouraged Ectoplasm’s plan to bring her along! The traitor. A voice suddenly chimed in her ear “Looks like Ecto really did hold up his word. Ready for a fun night out?~” With effort, Shizen turned her head slowly to the side. Midnight was giving her her trademark half open eyed smirk, her brow cocked. “...You want the honest answer?” Shizen grumbled “Or the nice one?” “Oh don’t be such a grump!” Midnight patted Shizen’s back fondly, causing the smaller women to look back at her. “For once pretend that legendary stick isn’t up your rear end, this isn’t work. It’s a fun night out!” Midnight tried to encourage and then giggled at the unimpressed face Shizen had. Shizen scowled “I don’t care if it’s a night out. I don’t like karaoke” “How do you know you don’t like it if you haven’t even tried it?” Midnight reasoned cooly, pushing Shizen forward while she had no choice but to go along. “I don’t like singing” Shizen reasoned, growing more uncomfortable the closer the group got to their karaoke booth. “No ones going to make you sign your name in blood if you don’t sing! Just enjoy the evening!~ Loosen up!” there was a pause and for a moment, Shizen was convinced - until.. “All that scowling and glaring will give you wrinkles~” Shizen heaved a sigh “And you where just starting to win me over..” Two hours later and Shizen was sure she had seen more chaos happen in that one karaoke room then her entire time working at UA. Hizashi was the first to get drunk then followed shortly after by Nemuri, multiple rounds of shots left the two wobbly on their feet. Aizawa, though not as drunk, was easily persuaded by Mic who he then quick left the room with, only after Midnight had wolf whistled and yelled a saucy comment after them. They had disappeared into the men’s bathroom down the hall twenty minutes ago, and..Shizen didn’t want to imagine what they where doing. Then Midnight had walked her way over to Snipe with a hazy glossy look in her eyes, giggling away at nothing - Shizen was grateful he hadn’t been drinking because he would have defiantly spat all over the table and ergo herself after Midnighr whispered something dirty in his ear. Not as subtly or as quite as Midnight thought. Bursting back into the room returned Mic and Aizawa, their shirt collars undone Shizen noted, and then the singing and partying resumed. While everyone else was having a lovely time grooving to the music and singing horribly out of tune, Shizen’s sober rump was off in the corner with a glass of water, rubbing her temples. “Here” A frothy beer was placed in front of her “On me, I thought you might like something better then water” Shizen looked up to Ectoplasm standing next to her, holding his own cup of beer. Shizen eyed the drink briefly before she looked back up “I don’t really drink” she said with a shrug. “...Really?” Ectoplasm asked. “Why are you so surprised at that?” Shizen rose a brow and then shuffled along to allow Ectoplasm some space to sit “I didn’t mean anything rude. It just wasn’t what I expected. Higari and his siblings all drink so..” he trailed off, seeming emabressed “..Sorry, that does sound pretty rude..I should have asked” “Don’t worry about it” Shizen brushed it off and then took an unhurried sip of her water “It’s not that I have a zero alcohol policy, I just don’t drink a lot that’s all” she placed her cup back down on the table “I didn’t really drink all that much before UA anyway so..never broke the habit I guess” “Just not fond of it?” Ectoplasm asked curiously “Hm..” Shizen hummed, thinking, head in her hand “...Not exactly.” She finally answered “My dad wasn’t a big drinker either so, when I was old enough to buy alcohol I just never did. Sometimes I would on birthdays or celebrations but I wouldn’t every time” “Oh” A moment of silence passed over them, a true miracle with how they where sitting in a karaoke room. It seemed Hizashi and Nemuri where struggling to find a new song to sing to and where lightly squabbling with Aizawa laying with his cheek pressed into one of the room’s leather sofa’s and Snipe seeming to eagerly agree with whatever it was that was being said by the other two, placing his cowboy hat playfully atop of Mic’s head “...It’s been a while since I had a beer” Shizen said aloud, pulling the drink closer, the glass wet from the chilled beverage. She swirled it around, watching as the frothy bubbles popped with the motion. Curiously, she brought the mug to her lips- and then gagged Ectoplasm snickered into his drink and then quickly turned away to wipe his mouth “Hey.” Shizen snapped at him, embaressed “Like I said, it’s been a while! Alright?!” “Sorry sorry!” Ectoplasm waved his hand in a feeble attempt to resolve the conflict, but his snickering and the amused glint in his eye didn’t convince Shizen. Her eyes narrowed, cheeks hot “Oh yeah har har, laugh it up essay-plasm” “Essay-plasm?” Ectoplasm blinked, tilting his head “What? I think it’s a fitting name” “Shizen having a sense of humour?? Someone call the papers” In that very moment Shizen’s lips twitched upwards into a small smile, and Ectoplasm caught it “It seems I am capable of moving boulders with my humour” He praised with a hand on his chest, Shizen rolled her eyes. “And you ruined it” She deadpanned. Shizen looked back to her beer and hummed, the flavour had shocked her, it really had a while since she’d had a good drink. Sure she’d had a coffee or other beverage with a small splash of alcohol with it, but honestly she didn’t keep a whole lot of alcohol at the teacher dorms anyway. She slowly brought the mug back to her lips and, not wanting to be seen as a coward in front of her coworker, took a big gulp. And then gagged again. “Bleh..” Shizen stuck her tongue out “Did beer always taste like this?..” She drawled, wiping the beer that had dribbled down her chin with the back of her hand. With ease Ectoplasm brought his own glass to his mouth and took a smooth gulp - the show off, Shizen thought “It’s a required taste” he said, clearly amused at Shizen’s suffering. “God if Higari could see me now he’d laugh in my face” Shizen’s brows furrowed in annoyance at the very thought. Her cousin had a knack for being especially frustrating when he desired to be “I don’t doubt that” Ectoplasm agreed, he could certainly remember the way Higari hollered at him when he tried his first shot. He’d joked about it for days! “Still...” Shizen voice became quite, the combined sound of the muffled chatter from Hizashi, Nemuri and Snipe combined with the purring of the air fan made for a pleasant atmosphere. Ectoplasm was certainly making for a good conversation partner, then again he’d always been good at keeping things from getting boring. Perhaps she was..enjoying it a little. “I guess this is...nice” She admitted, giving Ectoplasm a sideways glance to catch his reaction. Ectoplasm was giving her what had to be the most smuggest look she’d seen from him. Head in his head with one brow cocked, the other slowly swirling his beer as he slowly nodded “Mhm - not as bad as you thought then?” He teased, bringing his beer up to his mouth to take a slow sip. Shizen snickered at the bubbly moustache it left below the area his nose would have been “Don’t get ahead of yourself, it’s..okay. But don’t expect me to sing anytime soon” “One day it’ll happen” Ectoplasm reassured calmly with a light shrug “Pft, keep dreaming” ///time skip/// What had happened between their conversation and now had been a bit of a blur. Ectoplasm wasn’t drunk, he figured they’d need at least one functioning adult to make sure everyone got home safely. He’d had a few drinks and was feeling a bit more light on his feet then usual, but he wasn’t tripping on air. Shizen on the other hand.. “There there..” Ectoplasm patted her back as Shizen groaned into the toilet of the cramped cubical in the ladies bathroom, Ectoplasm hunched at her side holding what hair had fallen loosen from her bun out of the way as the other rubbed her upper back. Ectoplasm wasn’t sure when Shizen had gotten drunk, and he had no idea why she called him of all people to come and help. Maybe it was because he was the only one still sober? He wasn’t sure. As far as he knew Shizen only had the beer he’d gotten her and maybe a shot or two, he didn’t think it’d take that much to turn Shizen to this - puking up her dinner pathetically into the toilet, and it seemed that with the way things had been going, Shizen and drunk nausea where going to be well acquainted after this night. Shizen had up and left all wobbly, and then five minutes later called him by his cell. Though obviously unsure if he should even enter the ladies room, he reasoned that Shizen would have only called him if it was something serious - so he went in, and that’s how he’d gotten there “Uuuughhh..” Shizen let out a long groan “..UUUUGHHH” and then a louder groan after that, her hands that clung to the toilet as if it was a life support gripping tighter “Blergh...Everything is...thing is..spinnin’..” “When did you even start to get drunk!” Ectoplasm asked, quickly turning to peer out of the cubical to see if anyone else had come in “I thought you said you didn’t like drinking” “I don’t!..Ugh-HRCK!-“ Shizen heaved a drag gag into the toilet and groaned again “Bleh.. “ “Then why would you have more drinks?” Ectoplasm asked, trying to find reason in this confusing situation. Shizen went quite and seemed to want to curl in on herself, pulling herself closer to the toilet, almost whimpering with guilt. Thinking he’d upset her or made her embarrassed Ectoplasm went to apologise- “I’m a..” Shizen’s slurred drunk tone echoed into the toilet, grateful she had something to hide her sickly red face in “I-I’m a......lightweight..” “...Pardon?” Ectoplasm blinked “Urgh!” Shizen groaned in annoyance, pulling her head up from the toilet to turn to him “I said I’m a light-!!!” Shizen’s hand flew to her mouth, her face paling as she felt the icky crawl up her throat. She whirled back round to the toilet clumsily and then emptied out what was left in her stomach. “W-Why didn’t you say anything!” Ectoplasm, recovering from his surprise, quickly reached over to hold her hair out of her way again as Shizen breathed deeply through her nose. “Cuz-“ she heaved again and then gasped for air “Ugh...Nemuri ‘n’ the others wouldn’t shut up bout it if they...t-they-oh no..” Ectoplasm cringed at more sickly noises and then splashing as Shizen hurled once again, the smell not making things any better. Shizen groaned, hands that had been death hugging the toilet dropping to her sides like sand bags. Humiliated, sick, and defeated Shizen let out a feeble groan into the toilet A truly sad sight, Shizen of all people - one of if not the most serious person from Higari’s family Ecto knew, puking up their lunch into a stingy karoke toilet. There truly was a first time for everything “...Come on-“ Ecto picked you Shizen’s arm and looped it round his shoulder, heaving her as gently as he could to her feet “On your feet!” Shizen tried to pathetically push him away, muttering weak protests, but she was honestly too weak in her sickly drunken state so in the end reluctantly allowed Ectoplasm to help. “Sit here” Ectoplasm carefully sat her down after flipping down the toilet lid. Shizen slurred something illegible but did so “Hm..” Ecto glanced to his watch “It’s late anyway, we should all start heading back soon-“ “N-No!” Shizen threw her hands out, and then pushed them against either side of the toilet cubical walls to steady herself. “Shizen please be careful!” Ectoplasm said, having thrown his arms out ready to catch her if she fell forward off the toilet. Shizen groaned, hand on her head. “N-No...No” Shizen sniffled “Don’t want...others to..t-to-Ugh..t-to see..” In defeat, Shizen pathetically gestured to herself, looking away Ectoplasm hummed again understanding what Shizen meant “..I’ll just let them know we’ll be leaving early.” He looked back to Shizen who merely nodded in agreement. After making sure Shizen would be okay Ectoplasm quickly slipped out of the bathroom and into the karaoke room they had booked to grab his coat. “Aaayyyy! Ecto!~” Mic in all his drunken glory, slapped an arm round his shoulders microphone in hand “Where ya been my man!! Parties just gettin’ started and we’re just ‘bout to bust out the duo songs! Howza bout it?!” He eagerly tried to hold the microphone to Ecto’s mouth, but in his intoxicated state he nearly poked him in the eye “Sorry Mic, Higari called, he needs some extra hands moving his hero suit to be cleaned for tomorrow” - Which wasn’t a lie, Higari was going to be cleaning his suit tomorrow. He gently pushed away the microphone from his face as Mic let out a whine. “Already??” Mic frowned, almost pouting as Ecto nodded and pulled on his coat “Sorry Mic, next time I’ll stay longer!” “Bu-bye Ecto!!~” Midnight sang happily with a waggle of her fingers, looking to be enjoying herself as she sat on a very flustered Snipe’s lap. Snipe barely managed a wave before Midnight was on him with kisses. He rolled his eyes with a huff, things like this where just the norm with their karaoke outings. Waking back to the ladies bathrooms Ecto felt a moment of panic when he saw Shizen laying on the floor on her side. He worried she may have fallen - however when Shizen groaned a rather annoyed ‘fuck off’ when Ecto attempted to turn her head to check for injuries he sighed, she was fine. “What are you doing on the floor?..” he asked, kneeling besides her Shizen half turned her head to him, then mushed her cheek back into the cold tiled floor “My head was hurtin’...and standing made it-..it worse..shoo I decided to lay down..” A part of him was chuckling at her slurred speech, but the other part, the majority of him, felt pity at seeing her look so miserable. “I just want this pain to go away..” “..Well-“ Like before Ectoplasm pulled her arm over his shoulder and hauled her to her feet, Shizen groaning in the process “I can’t work miracles and I can’t walk on water..but I can make sure you get back to your dorm safely” Shizen gave him a look of disbelief, her hair frizzy and dis-shelved. She looked ready to argue but Ectoplasm beat her to the punch “With all due respect I doubt you could even open your door without help, considering you where just laying on the floor moments ago.” Ectoplasm reasoned sternly, giving Shizen a cocked brow “And I’ve had my fair share of having to nurse Higari when he got drunk, so it’s not as though this type of situation is new to me” “...Ugh” Shizen groaned, then flopped her head against Ectoplasm as she felt another throb of pain in her head “Just take me back to UA..” Ectoplasm smiled, grateful there wasn’t going to be an argument. Higari could be stubborn when drunk and he feared Shizen could be the same, but it seemed she’d lost the bite to her bark. Walking her to front lobby area - which was thankfully pretty desolate of life besides themselves and those left in the mini bar- called up a cab and then helped Shizen clamber in. All through the drive she was practically leaning on him, groaning the whole way about her headache. It was a stark change to her usual serious, blunt and authoritative front she put up at work. It seemed she knew this as whenever she had to lean against him she would give him a sharp look as if to say “not a word”. Ectoplasm didn’t speak, he figured it was for the best, she was probably embarrassed enough Not to mention how insistent she was on not wanting the others to see her like this Shizen did her best to stay awake, nearly nodding off three times during the ride. When the car came to a halt at UA’s gates her eyes jerked back open. It was dark and the air was bitter cold, the late evening chill settling on the campus with the eerie silence making the place feel deserted. With Ecto as her walking stick Shizen hobbled along beside him, Ecto making sure she didn’t fall or trip on any stones as they slowly made their way to the teacher dorms. A quick check of the ground floor and no one was around, must all be in their rooms “Almost there” Ecto said quietly as the elevator dinged to a stop at Shizen’s floor. Shizen mumbled, showing she’d heard him but was clearly too tired to try and mumble something that made sense. Pushing open her door Shizen instantly made an unsteady bee line for her bed, blissfully sinking her head into her pillow “Sleep on your side” Ecto said as he tried to pull Shizen to roll over. After a bit of coaxing she did so, hair askew over her pillow and face. “..Everything still hurts” She muttered, spitting out the hair that was in her mouth. Ecto reached over and politely brushed it over her shoulder “Yes it will, it’ll be like that for a while” “Mnngghrrr..” Ectoplasm reached over to slide the balcony door closed, the room slightly chilly as he drew the curtains. Shizen muffled a response into her blankets as she lazily tugged them over her and kicked off her boots “...Don’t you want to change into something more comfy?” “..’M drunk” Shizen deadpanned “I couldn’t even take off my sock right like this” “I can always call Higari to come a-“ Shizen had never snapped a glare to him so quick. “NO.” Ectoplasm was quick to hold up his hands, never get on the wrong side of an enraged animal “Alright alright!” He sputtered “I won’t call him” Shizen have a sharp nod, and then flopped her head back down, Ectoplasm sighed. “...Why dont you want people knowing you’re a light weight?” “Please don’t say that..” Shizen murmured pathetically. She tugged the blankets over her head, only parts of her brunette hair still visible “..It’s embarrassin’..” she finally answered, still hiding under her covers “I don’t like bein’ teased...makes me feel..” she didn’t finish her sentence “..Last thing I need is the others pokin’ fun at me for it” Ectoplasm paused, he didn’t think Shizen was one to care for being teased. “...Im sure Nemuri would tease a little, maybe Hizashi too” Shizen muffled a groan from under her blanket and curled up on her side. Ectoplasm moved to pick up Shizen’s shoes that had landed on the floor by her door “But they wouldn’t mean any malice, Nemuri and Mic just like to mess around.” Ectoplasm dropped Shizen’s boots to the side where they wouldn’t be in the way when she woke up, before standing back up straight “I’ve had my fair share of being a victim to their teasing too, they never mean any harm” He said in an attempt to lighten Shizen’s spirits, Shizen shifted under the blankets and peaked her head out just slightly “...For real?” She asked “For real” Ectoplasm repeated with a nod “I had gotten tired of Nemuri’s and Hizashi’s April fools gags, and so I decided it would be a fun idea to give the two a little office surprise with Hizashi’s air horn” “..And?” Shizen asked “I took Hizashi’s air horn and decided it would be extra fun to fill the horn with flour. I planned to wait till the two where relaxing at their lunch break, and sneak up behind them both with it...Turns out-“ Ectoplasm shyly looked away, the memory instantly popping to mind and replying in his head in vivid detail “Hizashi and Nemuri decided it would also be funny to use that same air horn to wake me up” Shizen tried to hard to contain her smile “A-And Uh-...” she cleared her throat, faking seriousness “What happened?” “Oh..” Ectoplasm shrugged “Just about what you’d expect” “Pfft-“ the dams broke as Shizen’s mouth broke open into a grin, honest to god laughter tumbling freely from her mouth at Ecto’s hilarious tale. “Oh god!” Her body relaxed against her mattress, the laughter making her forget almost entirely about her headache “I would’ve gotten so mad if they tried something like that with me” “I don’t doubt that...You know, if you asked them they probably would ease off on the teasing. I’m sure they only tease you because you’re so serious all the time” “Hah..” Shizen’s laughter drowned to an end, her smile now having a more harsh look to it “Yeah.” “...You know-“ Ectoplasm walked to the end of Shizen’s bed, when she didn’t say anything he sat himself down, hands together as he gazed off at the wall “I don’t think you’re as uncaring and mean as you make out to be” Shizen promptly threw her head to him “What?” “You heard me” Ectoplasm said, unthreatened by Shizen’s glare “I actually think deep down you care a lot for your co-workers, despite how you insist otherwise” “I-You-..I’m not-“ Shizen sputtered, failing miserably to come back Ecto’s utter accusation in her still drunk state “I do not.” Shizen hissed, flushing an angry red Ectoplasm failed to cower “Really?” He asked with a sarcastic tone. Ectoplasm gazed back off at Shizen’s bedroom wall to collect his thoughts “...Do you remember what you told me after me and Higari got married?” “...No?” Shizen replied with uncertainty, not sure what Ectoplasm was planning. “After the ceremony you congratulated us, that you where happy I was the one Higari ended up with and...” Though his face was hard to read, it was clear his smile had turned warm, his eyes soft as he looked back on that day, the happiest day of his life “That I made him happy” Ectoplasm smiled wider, turning back to Shizen who had fallen quite, but she was no longer glaring “..I feel like you wanted to say something more judgemental, but you said that instead” “......” Shizen turned away with a huff “..That proves nothing” Her blunt delivery seemed to put a damper on Ectoplasm’s mood, the reminder of his wedding and his happy smile fading as he looked away with a small sigh, shoulders slumped Shizen gave him a glance “...Look-“ Shizen sat up, the blanket lazily wrapped around her shoulders as she scooted a bit closer “Out of everyone here you’re not..the most annoying.” It was obvious Shizen wasn’t used to being this open with her opinions on people, evident in how she refused to look at him, her eyes trained on the floor as Ectoplasm blinked innocently “You’re intelligent, patient, good in a fight..you train your students well, you never half arse things. And..you’re good to Higari. He lived with me and my dad when he was at UA and I see how happy you make him!..You’re clearly passionate about teaching and-...and..” Shizen caught sight of the grateful smile Ectoplasm had on his face and she suddenly felt very embarrassed. “A-And don’t expect any more compliments“ Ecto huffed a small chuckle “Thank you Shizen” “...Thank you too” Shizen replied “For..Well-“ Shizen once again gestured to herself “Helping me out” “You’re welcome” Ectoplasm stood, remembering it was still late and more so that he still had paperwork to finish, even if it was a weekend. “I’ll be back up with a glass of water for you, and leave your phone out on your nightstand. You have mine and Higari’s contacts if you need anything, though I suppose you still won’t want Higari to see you like this so perhaps it’s better you just call me to make things quicker” “Yeah yeah..” Shizen said with an eye role, thought her usual snark wasn’t in her tone. She laid back down, resting the side of her head on her pillows are already feeling the drowsiness of sleep taking affect. “..You tell anyone about this-“ “My metaphorical lips are sealed” Ectoplasm said before Shizen could finish. Shizen gave him a hard look just to make sure he was telling the truth, before she laid back down again, muttering a “good” under her breath as Ectoplasm softly closed the door and slipped back out into the hall. ///One day later/// To no surprises Shizen had spent the whole of Saturday asleep, cursing the world for the head splitting hangover she had to endure. Thankfully she hadn’t called him, yet at least, so it seemed she was able to handle herself just fine without his assistance. He just hoped she was feeling better by the time Monday came around, he had no doubt that Nezu would be understanding of the situation (not impressed, but understanding), but Shizen was as stubborn as a mule, knowing her she’d tried to work regardless of if she still had a hangover. “Still slavin’ away huh?” Higari announced as he walked past the table Ectoplasm was working at. “Ya know a weekend is supposed ta be a break right?” He teased, picking up some of Ecto’s marked papers to briefly scim his eyes over them before returning them back to the table “It’s only a few more” Ectoplasm reached over and picked up a smaller pile of papers to his right “Besides, this means come Monday evening I won’t have any extra work to worry about” “Good” Higari said, casually walking to Ecto’s side to give him a small squeeze “You look way more sexy in bed then markin’ papers” Ectoplasm chuckled, his cheeks tinting pink “Flirting? At this hour??” He pretended to tut and shake his head “Not even gone lunch and you’re already off with your shenanigans” Higari chuckled, a smirk gracing his lips as he shrugged “What can I say? It’s your fault for being too cute” “Are you blaming me?” Ecto asked, resting his chin on the back of his hand, placing his pen down - just what Higari wanted, all his attention on him. Boldly, Higari rested his hand on the back of Ecto’s chair and leaned in “Never said bein’ cute was a bad thing. Yer a real beauty~” Ectoplasm’s cheeks went a bright pink as he huffed a chuckle “..I suppose I am quite a luxury~” Higari’s hand reached up into the back of Ectoplasm’s hair, gently scratching his scalp. Ecto relaxed at the affection, eyes closing - totally missing the mischievous turn in Higari’s smirk “Damn right you are~” In a swift motion Higari tugged Ecto’s head down to him, Ecto expected a kiss - what he got instead was Higari whispering something shamefully dirty into his ear, something that he dare not say out loud. His cheeks burnt crimson, his glasses askew over his face as his gaping white eyes shot open to the size of plates, uncaring of his papers as the one had been marking fell to the floor by his feet. Higari chuckled into his ear, pleased with Ecto’s rather flustered reaction- “You have zero shame” Ecto jumped in his seat and then whirled his head round to the newcomer, feeling a rush of relief when he saw it was only Shizen - God forbid if it had been Midnight, he would never hear the end of it. “Guilty as charged~” Higari said with a mock surrender motion, obviously unashamed at being caught flirting. Shizen narrowed her eyes at him in disgust “Sometimes I question how us two are related” “Love you too” Higari replied back, releasing his hand from Ecto’s hair but not before he threw in a sly wink. Ecto’s entire face and upper neck where a deep red as he clumsily fixed his glasses, Higari’s dirty words causing him to need a reboot. Higari let out one last chuckle before he went off on his way back to his and Ectoplasm’s shared dorm Shizen watched him leave and then looked back to Ecto in all his pink faced state “Ah-Uh-“ Ecto, failing you think of an excuse, cleared his throat and tried to distract himself from Shizen’s gaze by picking up the paper he had dropped earlier “S-Shizen! Glad to see you up, feeling better?” Shizen hummed, making her way over towards Ecto’s table with two cups in hand, steam rising from them indicated both had a hot drink in them. Shizen stopped besides him and then took a sip from one of the cups “Been better” she said “But not as crappy as yesterday” Ecto nodded “Oh, well- t-that’s good to hear” he hoped Shizen wasn’t going to comment on what she had seen. Shizen rose a brow at his red face, apparently that was all that needed to be said on the matter she had unintentionally walked in on. “Hm, looks like you’re having a good morning” Ecto’s face went hot as he choked on air, fumbling with his own before he dropped it. Shizen slowly slurped from her drink, Ecto coughed hard into his hand “W-Well Uh-It has-...Uhm..” Ecto couldn’t answer that question with a straight or calm face, not sure if Shizen was teasing him or if she was genuinely trying to start conversation. “...Itsbeengood..” he finally answered, barely above a mumble “Hm” Shizen nodded “That’s nice” she replied For a moment silence fell over them, for Ecto it was horribly awkward, he had no clue if he should try and say something to change the subject, if he should just suffer silently, or wish for the floor to swallow him into non-existence. Maybe a combo of all three- Clink “Hm?” Ecto peered up as a cup of piping hot coffee was placed before him, the smell already causing him to perk up and realise just how tired he was from all the paperwork he’d done. Ecto peered to Shizen, who looked to be pretending he wasn’t there - slowly, he reached for the cup. “Don’t expect this every morning” Shizen finally spoke, still avoiding eye contact as she swirled her drink in her cup. “...Just see it as a..final thanks, for helping me out...A-And Uh-“ Shizen cleated her throat, fingers awkwardly tugging at her bandana as she half turned around “Let’s just forget all the..Uhm, uncharacteristic things I may have done or said” Ectoplasm nodded humbly, bringing his cup closer towards him to take a drink. His body sunk into his chair, the warmth of the drink pleasant, shaking away the drowsy feeling of an early morning start hanging over him “Hm...you mean like when you where laying on the ladies bathroom floor looking rather sorry for yourself?” Shizen gave him a sharp look “...Yes-“ “Or maybe when you kept nearly falling asleep and then you would stubbornly jerk you’re eyes back open again because you found out you where half falling asleep on me?” Ectoplasm teased, his eyes narrowed Shizen’s brow twitched, face growing red “Ectoplasm I am not above hitting my cousins husband in the teachers dorms” Ectoplasm let out a hearty laugh, Shizen’s threat flying over his head as the smaller women merely narrowed her eyes at him. “Don’t worry I’m only teasing! I won’t tell, I promise” Shizen narrowed her eyes one final time, as if to double check he was being truthful. Sensing her doubt Ectoplasm spoke again “Like I said before my lips are sealed, you don’t have to worry about me spreading gossip about the dorms. And being a lightweight is nothing to be ashamed off” “Hm..” Shizen thought for a moment “...Yeah well, next time I’M picking where we go for teachers night out” “Oh?” Ectoplasm rose a brow “Are you implying you enjoy spending time with your coworkers after all?” Despite herself, the tiniest of smiles came to Shizen’s face, she let herself laugh a little “Heh..well, maybe you’re not so bad”

#MHA #Ectpplasm #Shizen #MHA OC #OC #Palettes rat #My OC

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queenofthefallenangels · 4 years ago

Text

She’s Mine Part 2

Jon Moxley X Reader

Rated M

Warnings: I don’t think theres any for this chapter

Chapter Summary: After breaking it off with Jon, she reflects on her relationship with Kenny and how it all started with Jon that fateful night.

Tags: @abadamn @hotyeehawman

The next night was the show. I always got their early and ended up staying late most show nights. I would be on my feet endlessly trying to help people and making sure that no last minute changes needed to be mad. I worked very hard at my job especially seeing how I was lucky to even have a job here. I needed to keep that job here. I had been worried about losing it ever since the affair started with Jon especially since Kenny was the one that got me the job in the first place.

Kenny and I met while he was in Japan wrestling and I was in school on a forgein exchange program in Japan and my roommates had talked me into going with them to one of the wrestling matches. I had very little interest back then in wrestling. My roommate told me that Japanese wrestling was nothing like American wrestling and she thinks I would love it if I gave it a chance. She was right. I adored wrestling as soon as I saw it the first time. After I came home from the first time seeing it, I began to do tons of research on the different types. I had become obsessed going to a match every night that they had one.

That was how I met Kenny. Kenny was wrestling one night when I was in the front row. He had done a high dive onto the person outside of the ring. Only, he missed his mark and went flying into me. He knocked me off my feet in more ways than one.

Medics took me behind the scenes to get checked up on as the matches resumed. They were going to take me to the ER, because it looked like I had gotten a concussion. I had no friends with me because for some dumb reason I went by myself tonight. Everyone else was busy with school work, but I had made sure my schoolwork was done before I came here tonight.

Kenny had heard that I was back here and came rushing back there to make sure I was okay. He said he felt horrible for the botched move he did. I am not exactly sure what I told him, but my memory is hazy from that night, but I remember him there. I remember him deciding to come with me because I had no one else to go with me. He waited in the waiting room while they looked at my head and made sure I got home okay.

“You know, a girl like you shouldn’t be out here alone.” He had told me while we were outside my dorm room.

I shook my head, “I should know better, but I really wanted to see the matches tonight. I didn’t think I would actually be in the matches.”

He smiled and chuckled softly at my joke. “You are really a dedicated fan.”

“Yes, I guess I didn’t grow up with wrestling like my roommates. I want to see what I missed all these years. I really love it.”

He nodded and leaned in, “You know, I have to say, you are the cutest girl I have ever fallen on while doing that move.” My cheeks darkened as the blood rushed to them. Was he actually saying this to me? I couldn’t believe my ears.

He slipped me a number into my hands before kissing my cheek. “I hope your boyfriend doesn’t mind me doing that.”

“I don’t have one.”

“All the better.” He said with a sweet smile before he left me standing there.

I texted him the next day, not even waiting as long as everyone told me to. He asked me out to dinner to make up for the concussion and I agreed. Just like that the rest was history.

Kenny and I were really happy together. The hardest part used to be the long distance we had while I finished school and he traveled. He wouldn’t let me quit though. He said it would all be worth it some day. He made that promise to me and it seemed like it was fulfilled when he was able to get me a writing job with absolutely no experience in writing. He made sure that we would never spend days apart like we used and everything was perfect or so I thought. It wasn’t until the night that he won the belt from Jon Moxley.

---

I was running to go congratulate Kenny on winning the belt when someone stopped me in my tracks. It was Don. He was part of Kenny’s new gimmick to help merge some people with impact into AEW. I had met him once before and he rubbed me the wrong way. He really did now with his hand in the air stopping me. “Kenny is busy right now.” “He can’t be too busy for his girlfriend,” I said crossing my arms. Kenny was never too busy for me. He always made time for me. Don scoffed and rolled his eyes, but let me pass through anyway. I smiled as I passed through and saw Kenny sitting there. “Kenny,” I said, opening my arms with a hug, but he didn’t hug back. “What’s wrong?”

He didn’t look at me. “What’s wrong? What’s wrong, she asks. Like you don’t know what’s wrong. You have still been helping Jon write promos.”

“He just asks me to go over a few things with me. Just like some of the other guys do. Adam still does at times. Jon basically writes his own and just asks me how it sounds. I don’t see the problem.”

“The problem is, girl,” Don interjected. “Where do your loyalties lie?”

“Excuse me?” I asked, raising an eyebrow at Don. “I am doing my job. It is the one that you wanted me hired on for, Kenny,” I pointed out. “I don’t get what the big deal is about me working with Jon or how it is any different from any other guy on the roster.”

“Little girl,” Don started, but Kenny stopped him.

“Let me talk with her about it alone.” He said as he took my hand and led me to the corner. I bit my lip. I didn’t like where this was going. Kenny never had a problem with me working around other men before, so why now? Why Jon? It couldn’t be just because they had a rivalry on the show. That was planned to be over soon.

“I don’t want you helping Jon anymore. He can do great promos on his own. We are supposed to be against each other. It looks bad with you helping him if others see that they might think something of us up. Besides, he might be using you. You know, as a way to get into my head. He is just using you to get to me. He might think that he can use you as a way to get me jealous or something stupid like that.” My mouth dropped at his words, “What, you don’t think he would actually ask for my help otherwise?” I couldn’t help the small tinge that his words made me feel. Kenny shook his head, “You're a great writer in all, but he has said a million times he doesn’t want writers' help with his promos. Why would he pick you out of all the writers to help? I think it’s better if you stay away before you end up getting hurt in this mess.”

I shook my head. I didn’t want to believe the words he was saying. Jon treated me like a friend. It was no lie, I had been a huge fan of his when I found him during my research of the WWE. I might have developed a small crush on him. The fact remained he was married and I was with Kenny. It was nothing more than a harmless friendship where we help each other. “I don’t think Jon is using me to get to you. Maybe he is actually genuine. Maybe he actually likes my writing.”

“That man doesn’t have a genuine bone in his body.” Kenny sneered. “Whatever he made you think is a lie.” “Why are you acting so jealous, Kenny?” This wasn’t like Kenny at all. I didn’t know what was going on here, but whoever this man was it wasn’t Kenny.

Kenny cocks his head to the side, “Is there something I need to be jealous of? I am just trying to protect your feelings here. I know what a big fan of his you were and it's easy to get caught up in, but is there something I need to be jealous of now?” His eyes darkened a bit as he looked at me. “

“Of course not. He’s married.” I snapped. “Why do I need protecting? I can take care of myself.” “I don’t care if he’s married or not. If there is something I need to concern myself with tell me!” Kenny hissed.

“No, Kenny, you are acting ridiculous.” This was so out of character of him to be like this. He never cared who I was around before. I could be around tons of different guys and he never cared. Why now? And why with Jon?

“I gotta have you on my side, (Y/N),” Kenny told me. “You’re my number one girl and I want to show you off. I have plans of you coming out with me on stage.” He wrapped his arm around me.

“Why?” I asked. He had never wanted me part of his act before. Why would having the belt make any different. I looked down at my outfit. I wasn’t exactly wearing something you could go out on stage with. It was office casual at best. “What would I wear?”

“Don,” He called Don back. “Show her the outfit.” He said snapping his fingers. Don nodded as he pulled out the outfit. My mouth dropped. It wasn’t a bad outfit by any means. It just wasn’t..something I would wear. It was a tight black dress that was very short with black sparkly pumps.

“Uh, babe, I like it, but it’s not something I would wear.” I said biting my lip. Heels and me had never done good together and that dress was so short. I was nervous that I was going to embarrass myself on national tv.

“Come on, you will look great in it.” He said with a smile. “Go try it on for me.”

I sighed and did that to make him happy even though I was not in this dress at all. I did my best to walk in the heels but my ankles bent all around in them. It was not comfortable at all.

Did I wear it for Kenny that Wednesday night? Yes, of course I did. I allowed him to show me off as well like I was some trophy wife with his new belt. I didn’t know who I hated more, the belt or Don for changing Kenny. Kenny never cared what I wore. He never wanted me to dress up so he could show me off. He was proud of who I was and wouldn’t have ever made me wear that dress.

I left Kenny in catering to go get some air after his bit with the belt. I leaned against the wall and slid my way down to the ground, kicking off my shoes as I did. I didn’t mean to start crying. It kind of just happened. Kenny was acting like an asshole and I just wanted the Kenny I loved back. I would have been fine if this was just an act on stage, but he was changing off stage too.

“Hey,” came a voice. I looked up to see Jon come out of a puff of smoke. “You know crying in the alleyway isn’t the best idea.” He said sitting down next to me. He let out a slight groan as he got down. I rolled my eyes at him. “I would hate to see what would have happened if it wasn’t me that stumbled onto you. Now, what's wrong, kitten?” He asked me. I don’t understand why, but anytime he called me kitten butterflies flew around in my stomach and a small smile came on my face.

“Nothing, it’s just Kenny is being...an asshole.” I sighed. “He doesn’t want me working with you anymore.” Jon raised an eyebrow at me. “Why not?” He asked.

I shrugged, “You are using me as a way to get in his head to make him jealous.”

Jon let out a low chuckle. “Oh, wow.” He shook his head before taking another puff of his cigarette. “I didn’t know he thought that little of me. I don’t use people. I work with you, because you actually have good ideas unlike some of the other crap writers they got around here.” I let out a small giggle. “So, you aren’t using me?” I asked him.

“No! I would never use someone just to make someone jealous and if I wanted to make Kenny jealous.” He looked over at me, but his eyes didn’t meet mine. They were looking down at me in the dress. “It wouldn’t have gone like that.” His eyes met back up to mine. “Besides, I think you need to reevaluate who is using who here. That’s a nice dress, but it doesn’t seem like you.”

I shook my head. “No, I hate it. I don’t mind skirts or dresses, but I can’t wear heels and it felt like he was showing me off like a trophy. Like look guys, I have a hot young girlfriend you wish you had. I don’t like that side of him. He used to like me for who I was not because he could show me off.” I said letting another tear fall. Jon reached up with his rough and calloused thumb and wiped it away. “Thank you, Jon.” I said resting my head on his hard shoulder.

“For what?” He asked.

“For being my friend and not using me.” I said. We sat there in silence for a bit before Jon spoke again.

Well, he opened his mouth to speak, but nothing came out. Before I knew it his lips were crashing onto mine. I couldn’t believe it. My heart did somersaults as his scent hit my nose. Cigarettes and mint. A spark hit me as we kissed. Something I never felt kissing anyone before. That was how my affair with Jon Moxley all began. He kissed me in a dirty alley and after that we couldn’t get enough.

#jon moxley #jon moxley smut #jon moxley x reader #jon moxley fanfiction #jon moxley x y/n #Kenny Omega #kenny omega x reader

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birdsareblooming · 4 years ago

Text

Infinite is connected to Solaris

This is gonna be a long one, strap in.

Infinite, Infinite, Infinite. The most recent in-game villain, and the most powerful in recent history as well. Despite being only around 3 years old, he’s become extremely popular. and half of that is because of the song.

Mephiles, Iblis, and Solaris. Villains over 10 years old that haven’t been used since their original game appearance in Sonic the Hedgehog (2006)

Or... have they?

Now I want to say before all of this, this all could be coincidences, me being delusional, or something otherwise. It is ONLY a theory, but for something as crazy as I’m claiming I need to preface with this for my own sanity.

But i’m gonna cut the bullshit. You’re here to see how I am going to bs my way to saying that Infinite the Jackal is connected to a dead god from what is regarded as the worst Sonic game.

And, like most of these, I need to start with some house cleaning, some things you need to understand.

1. Time Eater is Mephiles

You might have seen me meme about this before...

...But yeah that’s exactly the situation.

I had theorized this before I knew Ian Flynn thought the same thing. Their identical color-schemes, almost identical aesthetic, and completely identical power-set.

Even the name Time-Eater, that was Mephiles, and Solaris’s goal. To eat time.

2. Ifrit is Iblis

Now i’m going to assume you have two questions

If Time Eater is Mephiles, than where’s his counterpart, Iblis?

Who the fuck is Ifrit

Long and Short,

But, more importantly,

Ifrit is what caused Silver’s Future post Sonic 06.

Ifirit was their retcon for keeping Silver’s future the way it is (even though they defeat it at the end of sonic rivals 2, causing the future to not be that way, hence why Silver was 3 conflicting backstories. Thanks guys.)

So, when it comes to fire demon that destroys the world and causes the future that Silver the hedgehog lives in, that’s a good amount of evidence already, especially with the preface that Mephiles is alive in the form of Time-Eater. If Mephiles was reborn, why wouldn’t also Iblis? and Ifirit is so uncannily similar theres no other candidate.

also, might I add:

(thanks @zorloser)

For you who don’t know, Ifrit’s story ended being re-trapped in it’s pocket dimension with Eggman Nega.

3. The Phantom Ruby

The Phantom Ruby... Oh, the Phantom Ruby.

A very new addition to Sonic, and yet very important. It was the leading mcguffin of two games, and is made out to be very powerful.

yes I know that’s a lot up there, but you need to understand the Phantom Ruby to fully understand this theory.

It’s also very important that Eggman didn’t create the Phantom Ruby as he claims. He created Infinite, not the stone attached to him. Despite there being prototypes, which does confuse me, but from what info we’re given from the wiki the Phantom Ruby seems to have come from Classic Sonic’s universe, even retreating there after the events of Forces. This is also confirmed in Episode Shadow:

Although, Eggman did name it, seemingly on a whim.

~Tangent Time~

Despite being CALLED a Ruby by Eggman, the Phantom Ruby doesn't LOOK like a ruby, despite being magenta.

Rubies CAN be dark even to the point of being Black, but never connected. They’re usually just one shade.

(And don’t you dare say “The chaos emeralds don’t look like emeralds bc they’re not green. They’re all TECHNICALLY emeralds, they’re part of the beryl family, and even if only green beryls are called emeralds, they are all the exact shades of beryl.)

But what the Phantom Ruby DOES look like, is obsidian.

note this for later.

4. Infinite

For those who don’t fully know Infinite’s backstory, it’s expanded upon on the wiki and Rise of Infinite

Now that we’re all on the same page, lets continue to him now.

Lovingly referred to as the “Masked Clown.” Infinite goes about the entirety of Sonic Forces revealing nothing of himself, the only things we know about him are from Episode Shadow and Rise of Infinite. We don’t even see his real face in-game.

Although we have enough to know that his personality changed post Phantom Ruby, it’s even mentioned on the Wiki. Although how much of that change was spurred on by being beat up by a 15 year old, we’ll probably never know.

Although his goal has always been the same. Starting the planet over as a desolate wasteland. What a fun dude to be around. Probably the life of the party.

5. Connections

(i’m using Mephiles and Time-Eater intermittently, same with Iblis and Ifrit.)

Alright, now we’re all on the same page. Let’s move on.

I’m going to play a game we’ve played before. I’m going to name something about Infinite or the Phantom Ruby, and add something that’s eerily simmilar to Solaris (Mephiles + Iblis)

All of this Info can be found on the Sonic Wiki

Phantom Ruby: -It is an interdimensional gemstone of incredible power- Ifrit: It is an interdimensional, demonic fire-creature of incredible power- (wow those are, the same description huh)

Infinite: -After Infinite's fusion with the finalized Phantom Ruby prototype, he acquired the ability to generate, destroy, and manipulate virtual realities, which he could turn into virtual reality projections to interact with reality.[32] Said virtual realities are illusions, which Infinite creates by exercising control of one's visual and depth perception by feeding the brain false information- Ifrit: -Described as capable of binding one's soul, the Ifrit can enslave others with powerful mind control powers.- -Ifrit, which manages to use some kind of mind control on Sonic and/or Tails (or Knuckles and/or Rouge, depending on which team the player is controlling), but is defeated by the other teams, and is destroyed.-

Infinite: -Infinite's newfound strength proved so great that he was able to effortlessly defeat figures like E-123 Omega and Silver the Hedgehog, and ultimately best even Sonic the Hedgehog twice. He was even able to single-handedly overwhelm the entire Resistance army during Operation Big Wave. His power was such that not even the Miles Electric was able to give an accurate reading of his capabilities.[31] Time Eater: -the Time Eater has demonstrated immense super strength; even in its incomplete form, it easily knocked Modern Sonic and Classic Sonic unconscious with a single hit. After being completed, the Time Eater was able to effortlessly repel both Classic and Modern Sonic's and knock them out using brute force alone-

Phantom Ruby: Its powers can also warp the fabric of space-time,[1] allowing it to create pocket dimensions such as Egg Reverie Zone and Null Space, as well as teleport entities from place to place. When used alongside the Chaos Emeralds' time-space powers, it transported Classic Sonic and itself to another dimension, and later sucked Dr. Eggman into a rift- Time Eater: Its signature skill however, is creating "Time Holes",[8] spacial rifts that lead to any point across time and space, including alternate timelines and across different dimensions.

Infinite: When everything you know has come and gone (You are at your lowest, I am rising higher) Only scars remain of who I was (What I find in the ashes, you lose in the fire) When there's no one left to carry on (This is an illusion, open up your eyes and...) This pain persists, I can't resist But that's what it takes to be infinite Solaris: -Much like his two halves, Iblis and Mephiles, Solaris is immortal and virtually indestructible.- -As a transcendent life form, Solaris possesses a unique state of existence that lets him exist in the past, present and future simultaneously, making him omnipresent throughout time and virtually impossible to defeat unless he is attacked simultaneously in all eras-

Possible reach:

Phantom Ruby:

Solaris:

(I’m refering to the odd red-stone in the middle, also that the wings somewhat resemble Infinite’s sword.)

~Tangent Time~

remember the first tangent? Where I meantioned that the Phantom “Ruby” looked more like obsidian than a ruby?

Well someone else looks like a certain type of obsidian, Snowflake Obsidian to be exact:

Alright Reaching time over.

Now you might have noticed that the Ifrit-Infinite connections seemed to fit just a bit more-Maybe it was just me- even down to the Phantom Ruby and Ifrit’s OPENING DESCRIPTION being almost copy/paste, which i’m still amazed at.

This get’s to the next part of my theory.

6. Where are they (Mephiles/Iblis) now?

Welcome to~ where are they now!

Mephiles, or Time-Eater, So far is undocumented. It’s said they were “Destoryed” at the end of Sonic Generations, but for all we know it was just the machine additions, and Mephiles was “destoryed” over 10 years ago and he started kicking again.

Iblis, or Ifrit, was locked in it’s own pocket dimention along with Nega, and hasn’t been seen since...or have they?

haha that’s a callback! Do you remember the beginning of this post or is it too mindbogglingly long for your brain to comprehend in one sitting?

7. The Phantom Ruby is Iblis/Ifrit

let’s talk about the power set of the Phantom Ruby. Interdimentional, very powerful, capable of some kind of mind fuckery.

Ifrit is, Interdimentional, very powerful, capable of some kind of mind fuckery, immortal and is constantly on fire,

You may be wondering about this “Fire” thing. “Solaris was a sun god and infinite has no connection-” WRONG!

sorry that was forceful.

Infinite used a very specific and strange method to destroy the planet. He made an illusion of the sun, and set it on the planet. Out of all the methods, and interesting choice to be sure. But not for a sun god.

also: “What I find in the ashes, you lose in the fire”

“What are you saying you dumb bitch?” You might be thinking. First of all, rude, second of all, I’m saying that the power inside the Phantom Ruby IS Iblis/Ifrit, hence their connection.

Before I get to timeline and other stuff, some minor things:

The decision to have Infinite take on specifically Silver, and showing Silver being able to withstand a fight against him for a good amount of time, as well as giving them a minor repertoire, which no other seemingly “unconnected” Resistance Fighters get.

the name “Infinite” fitting the naming scheme if “Iblis and Ifrit” and you know how this franchise is about naming schemes.

Now, where we last left Ifrit he was trapped in a pocket dimension with Nega.

Where we first find the Phantom Ruby is “In Sonic Mania, the Phantom Ruby appeared on Angel Island after a dimensional breach occurred in the atmosphere.” (via sonic wiki)

Now, it is kinda hard to connect those two lines, but the dimensional causation is there.

(I could add an ENTIRE subsection of me trying to connected Mephiles to the time-traveling nature of Little Planet, therefore connecting Solaris to Classic Sonic’s world ((and “fun is infinite)) but this theory doesn’t need to be any longer and I cannot physically do any more research.)

it’s possible Ifrit would be trapped, Mephiles was trapped in the Scepter of Darkness, so it’s more possible than impossible.

But, Imma be fully honest with you guys, Most of this is because of the song.

If you haven’t heard “Infinite”, What is wrong with you. Go listen to it. Oh my god.

But, some of the lyrics, don’t totally make sense knowing Infinite’s backstory. But it makes more sense seeing through the lens of the added Ifrit influence.

“And after all this time you're back for more“ (If talking about Shadow, it wasn’t a “long time” inbetween Infinite’s defeat and his rise. And Infinite has no stated relationship with Sonic. However, Solaris and subsequently, Iblis, do.) “When everything you know has come and gone“ “But that's what it takes to be infinite“

Even the name “Infinite.”

He chose that name after fusing to the Phantom Ruby and “ABAndoNiNg hIS pAsT SeLf”

But, the Phantom Ruby has no connotations of immortality. None specified. it’s possible it’s power could be used to trick the user into immortality, but it’s never specified. You’d think he’d be called “Phantom” or, even, “Zero” (his working-and possibly true-name) But no. Infinite.

Now, think back to the connections earlier, and the info I took from Solaris’s wiki.

“Omnipresent throughout time and space”

Sounds pretty “Infinite” to me.

Am I saying Infinite is the new Iblis Trigger? Yes.

Ok my fingers hurt from writing this sorry it’s so long

bye

#infinite the jackal #solaris #mephiles the dark #iblis #ifrit #theory #sonic theory

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moonlit-mizukage · 4 years ago

Text

Chapter twenty-two: 11 things I hate about you

Summary: Y/l/n Y/n, a third year at Sakura High School, is just a girl with a bad attitude towards anyone outside her small circle. When y/n’s younger sister starts first year, she gains a lot of attention. Unfortunately for everyone in school, the Y/l/n household has one rule, No dating till y/n does. Some people become just desperate enough to pay the leader of the “Monsters”, the trouble making group on campus, to date y/n. What will happen when she finds out? (All characters aged up to third year unless otherwise stated)

Tw: Swearing, fights, violence, oikawa piece of shit, black eye, teachers a dick, crying

Word Count: 1.3K

An: So theres only 8 more chapters left of this story :0 I cant belive its almost done. I will be making a pull for my next idea maybe on chapter 26!!

An part2: Sorry my poem is so bad ugehgvy Tumblr wouldn’t let me format it nice so it is italicized !!

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Third person pov- Time skip tp Monday

Y/n closed her locker as Tendou was standing behind the door.

“What the fuck do you want Tendou?”

“Please just hear me out Y/n. It really isn’t what it seems.”

“You took the money Tendou. You got paid to date me. So step the fuck back. I don’t want to be late to class.”

“Y/n… Let me explain, please.”

“See you in English if you decide to go again asshole.” She pushed past him and headed to where Shirabu was.

“What did he want?”

“Just to try and make up some shit probably. I don’t have time for assholes.”

“Speaking of assholes, you know how you showed me that shit from Oikawa at your place?”

“Did he already try something?”

“He walked up to me and apologized to my face.” Shirabu said.

“Are you for real? He really talked a big load of shit about it and then took 5 steps and gave up.” Y/n said with a laugh.

The two walked in the direction of their first period as Tendou walked outside to the underside of the bleachers where the Monsters hang out.

“Guess... you look like shit. Where the hell were you all weekend?” Hanamaki asked.

“Nowhere.” He said as he lit his cigarette. The others looked around at each other. They know something was off with him.

Second period came quick and Tendou ventured into his class today on the off chance Y/n would give him even the shred of attention.

“Good morning class, Oikawa I need you to take off those sunglasses you are inside after all.” Mr Yagami said. Oikawa removed the glasses to reveal a large balck eye beneath them.

“Looks like someone finally got tired of your shit Oikawa.” The teacher said with a laugh. “Well would anyone like to be the first one to present their writing piece today?” Y/n raised her hand faster than anyone else. “Ah Mrs. Y/l/n. Please come up to the front.”

She stood up as she grabbed her notebook from her desk. She walked to the front of the room and made direct eye contact with Tendou in the back.

“Start when you are ready Mrs. Y/l/n.” The teacher said, giving her permission to begin. She took a deep breath.

“I hate the way you approach me, and the way you have so much confidence about it

I hate how you made me give you a chance, only to show me your true intentions so much later,

I hate your dumb hair cut and how proud you are after spending all that time to style it.

I hate how you call me babe and how you could easily change my mind about things,

I hate your dumb motorcycle and how you drive it when I am with you,

I hate how you never texted or called, not even left me an email.

I hate when I was upset with you, you knew exactly how to cheer me up with your dumb smile,

I hate how you knew I would fall for you from the start and you even called it,

I hate how you made me laugh like I never experienced before.

I hate how everything you told me was based on a lie,”

She took a deep breath, tears began to flow from her eyes at that moment.

“I hate how you made me fall for you but your feelings were only a big dumb lie,

But mostly I hate the way I don't hate you...

Not even close, not even a little bit, not even at all.”

She slammed her book closed and grabbed her bag as she ran from the class room, now sobbing.

Tendou stood up as he chased after her but she was already gone from the halls without a trace of her presence even being there.

Oikawa appeared behind him.

“Looks like your nickname was more accurate then I could have ever thought.” Tendou turned around as he grabbed Oikawa’s shirt. He slammed him into the locker behind him. Before anyone even had the chance to blink, Kyotani and Terushima were behind him.

“I don’t know who the fuck you think you are but once highschool is over you will be nothing. Enjoy being a piece of shit for a little more time before we knock you down a few, monster style, you asshole. You fucked with the wrong man’s paradise. You will pay for it. How about another black eye to match the one Mei gave you hmm? I think that is honestly too nice to do.” He slammed his back again before he threw him to the ground and spit on him. Tendou stormed out the other two Monsters now joined the three that were there as they all left the building.

Lunch time- small time skip

Y/n was seated at the table next to Tsukishima who was next to her with Yamaguchi sitting across the table. Shirabu walked up with Kuroo and Bokuto behind him.

“What the hell do you demons want?” Y/n spit out as them.

“We come in peace. I promise.” Bokuto said as he raised his hands.

“Unfortunately for me I have managed to befriend these two demons. Bokuto through volleyball and Kuroo by association. They told me some interesting shit about Oikawa though.” Shirabu said in a monotonous tone.

“You can sit with us if you really want. I’m sure you will start beef with Oikawa though.”

“He’s kinda in love with you so he probably thinks we would be doing reckon. That’s not why we are here though. I know what happened at the dance. Iwaizumi told us both about it.” Kuroo said.

“I am so sorry Y/n! Please forgive me!” Bokuto shouted dramatically. He looked into your eyes and she could see he was on the verge of crying.

“It’s okay! It’s not like you made him do it.” She said to him.

“No but I did get your number for him!”

“He is exaggerating. He told Oikawa what locker number was mine and Oikawa went through my private property to get it.” Shirabu spoke up.

“I won’t blame you for your friend being a massive piece of shit.” Y/n said with a smile.

“Wow straight to the point, I like that.” Kuroo said.

“We can prove to you we are done with Oikawa if you’d like.” He pulled out his phone and showed her before he rescinded that he texted Oikawa ending their friendship. “Anyone who doesn’t support my deepest love for volleyball will never understand me.” He said with a serious look on his face.

The rest of lunch they spent together, the few who had just met them had begun to feel different about the once Oikawa lackeys. They discovered they were not who they once thought and the same for the two new people who sat there today. The warning bell rang as they all were ready to separate.

“Before we part, sorry shirabu. I talked shit about you one time in our old group chat with the other guys, not bokuto, I just felt like it would help me fit in.” Kuroo said.

“I talked shit about you too cause I thought you were an annoying asshole like Oikawa. No hard feelings.” Shirabu said in his monotonous voice once again.

“Wow all of you are brutally honest. I think I will like it here.” Kuroo said with a laugh.

Everyone was now split up as Y/n was at her locker. Her phone Vibrated as she opened it to see another unknown number messaging her. The message read:

We need to talk after school...please… It’s satori by the way. I know you will say it too when you respond so I already told myself to Go to Hell before I sent this message.

She sighed and put her phone back in her pocket. Her mind was stuck on him for the rest of the day. Even on her ride home with her friends and Mei, she could only think about what he might say to her when she finally answered.

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Previous | Masterlist | Next

An: Sorry again about the bad poem,,,,

Taglist: @belongtothewcrld @elianetsantana @its-the-aerieljeane @london-quynh @vhskenma @denkithunder @swagdaddycam @ems1des @tendouispretty @senpaisbadass @elephantloser @smolbbgorl @mikeys-thighs @kuroolilchibichan @softesyoongi @ouijaeater15 @xxsilverwingxx @prettyinblack231 @kookie-doughs @mikesdeath @bruh-kill-me @skeet-skeet-double-fckn-yeet @d0llpie @0-hysteria-0 @katsumi-sumi @rintarawr @sirachano0dles @satan-ruler-of-hells @himboos @maer-333 @pastel-prynce @tanakasimpcorner @atria-avior @mrswhitethornbelikov

#tendou smau #tendou x you #tendou x y/n #tendou x reader #haikyuu smau #haikyuu x reader #haikyuu x you #haikyuu x y/n

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